Instructor Brian Reaume
Moreau First Year Experience
3 December 2021
Responding to Reality
	Throughout this first semester Moreau course, I have been challenged to think about how experiences from my life have shaped the way I perceive myself and society, with regard to dissonance, brokenness, hope, community, and hope. Consequently, I have been more easily able to delineate some of my beliefs, while others have become more cloudy. Ultimately, I strive to use this contemplation to have a greater understanding about myself and be more intentional about how I spend my time.
	One way that my growth has been facilitated by Moreau this semester can be exemplified by the way I perceive my accomplishments—more specifically, I no longer fall susceptible to feelings of impostor syndrome. In short, impostor syndrome is an internal feeling that many students experience wherein they don’t believe their success is warranted or attributable to their own efforts. Admittedly, this is something that I have struggled with in the past. For instance, upon being accepted to Notre Dame and enrolling here, I soon came to realize how intelligent and hardworking my peers are. Consequently, feelings of inadequacy began to emerge, which can be discouraging and makes it seem as though I am fighting an uphill battle. However, I was seemingly comforted to know that I was not alone in this feeling. In week nine of Moreau, many of my peers expressed their worries that they didn’t think they were doing enough. Elizabeth Cox described this phenomenon perfectly: “The most surefire way to combat imposter syndrome is to talk about it. Many people suffering from imposter syndrome are afraid that if they ask about their performance, their fears will be confirmed” (“What is imposter syndrome and how can you combat it?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). Thus, by discussing the way that I perceived myself and what I have actually accomplished, I have been able to mitigate feelings of impostor syndrome. This has and will be conducive to my growth as I my mind isn’t filled with fears that I haven’t done enough to be in the position I am in, which eliminates the ongoing internal and external dissonance that I was experiencing. Moreover, with this unjustified stressor removed from my life, I feel as though I would be less hesitant to pursue something I am interested in. Essentially, my thoughts that were previously clouded by feelings of inadequacy have been shaped to a more optimistic and realistic outlook.
	While I have gained clarity in some aspects of my life, others seem more complicated upon reflection. In today’s political climate, it seems as though opinions have never been more polarized. Even here on campus, I have seen how people can become so passionate about their beliefs to the point that they no longer see the person behind the opinion, and thus they believe they are incompatible with those who have differing perspectives. This rang true when a student published an article in the Irish Rover detailing the ways in which, in her opinion, the University of Notre Dame was contradicting its roots to Catholicism. For some, this sentiment was well-perceived as it fit their preconceived notions of how the university should act. For others, they became outraged that such an article was allowed to be published and began attacking the writer’s character. It can be difficult to see how common ground might ever be reached. Notre Dame’s very own Father Jenkins expressed his view on how hatred is a complicated matter, stating, “We can have the most sophisticated Constitution, a brilliant system of checks and balances, and a Bill of Rights to safeguard against the tyranny of the majority—yet none of it can stand against the power of hatred” (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address by Fr. John Jenkins, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Ten). In Notre Dame’s case, we can have amazing residential halls and courses meant to unite the student body, but none of that matters if students develop animosity for their peers with different beliefs. While it might be easy to simply say that everyone should be open-minded and accepting of others’ views, the fact is that some people will never be able to dissociate someone’s opinion from their character, which paves way for hatred. One of my God and the Good Life dialogue leaders, who was anticipating controversial opinions, said something that I think is a brilliant way to address incongruity between people’s beliefs: “names stay, ideas leave.” Not only does this allow for discussion of ideas in an appropriate setting, but it preserves the reputation of students once the discussion has concluded. However, while this certainly sounds like the correct approach to contrasting perspectives, it is in our nature to attach people’s ideas to their being. Personally, I am going to strive to see my peers for more than just a single idea that I may not agree with—doing the opposite would be to know a single story, a concept touched upon earlier in Moreau. Now that I have come to know that absolving our campus—and the world—of hatred is much more nuanced than I initially thought, it is in my best interest to identify a solution that works best for me, and that is to love my peers unconditionally.
	Although the ever-present sense of hatred seems apparent in our day-to-day lives, it is paramount that we continue to get to know our neighbors, for community is undoubtedly the most important catalyst to a good life. The idea of community is especially personal to me because it is something that I thought I would lack upon coming to Notre Dame. When dorm assignments were announced back in July, I didn’t know what to think of Pangborn, so I reached out to a sophomore friend of mine to hear his thoughts. Without hesitation, he told me that he was sorry, as Pangborn was apparently considered one of the worst dorms on campus. I was disappointed to say the least. I thought about how unfair it was that some of my friends had been assigned to storied dorms, like Siegfried or Alumni, which were deeply rooted in tradition, whereas I would be assigned to a dorm that had not housed men since the 90s. To me, these dorms would allow residents to build a community much quicker as they had upperclassmen and orchestrated all sorts of events throughout the year. However, I can now say that I am grateful to have been assigned to Pangborn, where I have formed some of the best friendships I will ever have. It didn’t require traditions or upperclassmen paving the way; rather, the relationships came naturally, with a community that was built and strengthened by the fact that we were placed in a dorm with a blank slate. Parker Palmer stated, “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received,” which I think wonderfully depicts the message I am trying to communicate (Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). Instead of attempting to artificially construct a community, I now know to let it grow naturally, with the main focus of appreciating the people brought into my life. I am eager to receive the gift of community next semester, where I will be brought together with people in new classes and opportunities.
	While I have been posed with many challenges this semester, perhaps one of the most important is how I maintain hope. To me, hope is the idea that something good will happen in my life in the future. However, that doesn’t mean that I can just waltz into good fortune blindly. Instead, I recognize that I must continue to grow, which requires putting myself into situations that might feel uncomfortable at first. For instance, one of the most challenging things I’ve done this semester is beginning to network with professionals in finance. I find networking rather nerve-wracking because although I use it to gain knowledge about a field and develop myself professionally, there is such a huge knowledge gap between myself and the person I am speaking to, which makes me hesitant to say something that I think might sound dumb. Nonetheless, I have been successful in what I sought out to accomplish, which was to gain more exposure to the finance industry. Campus Ministry eloquently described this experience of putting oneself in uncomfortable situations as having “sacrificial willingness to put at risk everything that we think we already know” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Campus Ministry at the University of Notre Dame - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). When putting myself out there to network and in other first-time experiences, I have learned that it is more than acceptable to go in without knowing anything. The important part is that I maintain hope that it will be conducive to my growth and that I come out having learned something. I hope to maintain this mindset as I continue through my undergraduate studies and allow myself to experience what is unknown to me. 
After spending nearly a semester at Notre Dame, I have been faced with difficult questions and had to evaluate what is most important to me. Ultimately, I have deduced that leaning on my community and living in hope are some of the most important aspects of my life. I am excited to see how this next semester plays out and find out what else can be applied to my life.