Moreau Integration 2 - MLM Moreau First Year Experience Integration Two Assignment Fall 2021 Maria Luisa Montenegro Encountering My Warm Feelings In Cold Indiana #1 I encountered dissonance with determination ● Even though I feel like I’m at the right place and that I’m always doing my best, dissonance is a feeling that I’ve encountered constantly while in my first semester at Notre Dame. It is hard, I’m not gonna lie. Coming from another country, leaving my family and traditions behind. Adapting was a challenge and I felt like a fish out of water at times, but I’ve encountered this dissonance with determination to be open and make Notre Dame my home. I always tell myself: “You have talent. You are capable. You belong.” I took this quote out of an amazing Ted Talk our class watched for Week 9 (“What is Impostor Syndrome and How You Can Combat It?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). In fact, I feel like I really needed to watch that video (when I wrote the QQC and now at the end of the semester). I don’t really consider myself to have impostor syndrome, but sometimes I catch my mind thinking: “why am I here? I’m not as smart as the other students.” Then, I stop and remember that I got here for a reason. Even though I am not the best calc student, I have the power to change the world. It’s hard to think about myself in such a bright light, especially when nowadays this might be considered bragging, but it’s honestly the only way to get out of a dark spot - give yourself the value you deserve. We need to step out of our expectations and appreciate all of our accomplishments. Ok, that’s way easier said than done, but in order to feel in harmony with myself I need to free myself from expectations asking myself what do I actually want and like to do with my time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo #2 I encountered brokenness with bravery ● I wish I could count how many times I felt broke; how many times my heart and soul were shredded into pieces. It is always the most devastating feeling. Imagine studying for more than 12 hours on an economics test, and then failing. That moment when your blood pressure drops and you feel completely useless. Quite literally like a broken piece of a broken plate. But then you have to heal, and this process is SO hard. It takes a lot of bravery to recognize where your cracks are, picking up the pieces and working to glue them. After that, you will be left with scars, but those scars tell your unique story. Those scars reflect your fights and they give you power. With all the struggles and flaws of our society, holding on to that will always make us love ourselves and stand out from the crowd. I have to say that I was so interested in the workshop where women find healing through kintsugi. (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” by Grotto Network - Moreau FYE Week Ten) The way they turn our cracks and scars into beautiful art is just astonishing. On that note, I also pulled up this quote from President McAllister-Wilson’s speech at the Wesley Theological Seminary: “Love is the greatest commandment — and hatred is at the heart of the greatest sins. Hatred is the great destroyer — the great divider. Hatred is more dangerous to us than any other threat, because it attacks the immune system of our society — our ability to see danger, come together and take action. Hatred poisons everything.” (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” by The National Cathedral - Moreau FYE Week Ten) In its essence, love is everything good and hate is everything bad. Lately, in our society, hate has been growing everywhere, especially with social media and the infamous cancel culture popularity. People take their time and energy to judge, hate and be harmful towards others. They pick on diverse traits, imperfections or anything at all, and use this to destroy someone online and in real https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/24970/modules/items/105073 life. We need to stay far away from society’s standard and embrace our brokenness with bravery while appreciating our scars and flaws. We are all different and that is beautiful! Our journeys shape our beings. Although no one likes to feel broken, I like to follow a saying from the 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 that reads “give thanks in all circumstances”. Sometimes it is hard to understand what is happening at the time that it happens, but give thanks, because it will all make sense later. We are all different and that is beautiful! Our journeys shape our beings. Fun Fact: I saw this saying on my way out of the Hesburgh library when I was having a very tough week and it really inspired me. #3 I encountered community with courage ● Before coming here I questioned how I would be able to integrate myself in the Notre Dame community. Even though it is something so deeply recognized and appreciated worldwide, it just seemed intimidating for this little girl from Brazil. Now, one semester later, I ask myself how can I live without my Notre Dame family, and the answer is that I can’t. It took me a lot of courage to fully immerse myself in this community, but once I encountered my people, I didn't ever want to leave. From week 11 of Moreau I selected this amazing quote from Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community: “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). It makes so much sense now, but for me in the beginning of the semester it wouldn’t be so accurate. My main goal was to build a community. It used to be so black and white for me: you go to college, look for people and make your community. Now, I understand that it is something so organic that it is almost like a surprise gift. Since I got here to Notre Dame it is what keeps me going is the family I built here. We all come from different places and bring diverse perspectives of the world to our routines, which is so enriching. Again, I definitely agree with the previous quote because it’s not like we sat down and decided that we wanted to http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ build a diverse community with 5 asians, 4 latinos and 3 POCs. Things just happen, and the deal is that you can’t have diversity in mind, you just need to understand that everyone is equal. Also, as mentioned in the video Diversity Matters, when we think about diversity, what comes to mind is image, colors, representations, but it’s way more than that. (“Diversity Matters” by Professor Augustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week Eleven) That’s what we need to keep in mind while engaging with our community. Let’s be courageous, be ourselves and receive the gift of community. #4 I encountered hope with happiness ● Hope and faith always come together for me, and since I got into Notre Dame my relationship with God developed so much. We have to bring faith to all circles of our life. As mentioned in the “Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education”: “We shall never forget that virtue, as Bacon puts it, is the spice which preserves science. We shall always place education side by side with instruction; the mind will not be cultivated at the expense of the heart. While we prepare useful citizens for society, we shall likewise do our utmost to prepare citizens for heaven.” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King - Moreau FYE Week Twelve) Education is never alone, for it to be valuable to our journey, it needs to be paired with faith, hope, and especially with our hearts. In my education journey, I do not want only to be prepared for the job market, but for a spiritual life as a citizen of God. There are multiple demons and obstacles in life that will try to take our hope away from us, but we shall always remember that God is by our side. For instance, when the weather started to get colder, the demon of depression and anxiety started to attack me. I began to feel lost, to feel worthless and especially my journey started to lose its meaning. Even though I was lost way before that. I began to lose myself when 100% of my time was dedicated to academics and I was so systematic that I forgot to bring God to my journey. I needed help, and through various visits to the https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/24970/files/188305?module_item_id=105110 Grotto and dorm masses, I realized that we should never let the negative sides of life take the best of us. Let’s use our strengths from mind, heart, hope, church, and family, that we learned from holy cross, and keep them in the core of our souls. Whenever the times are hard, we will have something to hold on to. Our mind and heart have to be holding hands in our decision making process so we can finally encounter happiness. We shall hope that even though there are many difficulties in life, God has our best interests in mind. Dear Professor Catherine, I would like to thank you deeply for this year. I honestly already miss moreau with you, and I’m so sad to say that our class time didn’t fit in my schedule for next semester. I had such a beautiful and intense journey with this class. I had no idea one university requirement would allow me to have such a join and encounter the best version of myself. Thank you for being so kind, inspiring and an amazing educator. I had a lot of fun doing this assignment and it was a great way to wrap up our journey! You will always be remembered :)