Integration 2.1 PDF Notre Dame, IN March 3, 2022 A Letter From Your Future Self Matthew, I cannot promise you the best semester. I’ve gone through it already, so I should know. Unexpected things will happen — some things that will make you happy, some that will not. I will not go into the particulars because it would be a crime to rob you of those experiences, because it is a good thing to live, and a life well lived means the good and the bad. I can only really offer some wisdom I have gained over the semester that I really wish I had had. One thing you must keep in mind is that your path isn’t really a path at all. We like to talk about it that way, but it somewhat skews the actual reality of what you’re doing. The last word for this upcoming semester should be linear. Think about it this way, “these steps don’t take place in a nice, neat order.  It’s a developmental process that will recur throughout your lifetime and you’ll move between stages as you learn and grow.” (Navigating Your Career Journey - Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week 4) New people will present themselves to you, new interests will arise within you, new circumstances will have profound effects on you. One example: your discernment about whether architecture is right for you, I know, has been a struggle in the first semester. You will soon learn to stop thinking about your major as “the end-all, be-all” and start thinking about it as a simple step among many others. And, I’ll be darned if your mom doesn’t reaffirm what everyone else can see in an interview you’ll have with her, that you are good at designing things. But even more importantly, she’ll tell you that it is your passion, and that you should stick with it. (Conversation with Lauren Whatley, February 3, 2022 - Moreau FYE Week 5) Just know that life cannot be planned like you think it can. Sometimes, you need to simply do “what your hand finds to do.” (Ecclesiastes 9:10) There is a storm coming for you this semester. I can tell you that your stress will not come from schoolwork. So do not worry about that. Prepare, instead, to lean on others; to look for comfort within the people and God you love. True joy cannot come from things. It cannot even come from good things like books or art. No, joy only comes from your relationships. A powerful line from a book you will read goes like this, “alone, they didn’t have much, but together they had a potful of plenty.” (Tattoos on the Heart, Chapter 8: Jurisdiction - Fr. Greg Boyle S.J. - Moreau FYE Week 7) This lesson, I now realize, is not such an easy thing. For one, it requires people, and people are sometimes hard to come by. Remember what your grandmother used to say, “when people are angry or sad they are one of three things; tired, hungry, or lonely.” Loneliness, you’ll come to realize, is not proportional to the amount of friends you have. There are very extroverted people who go to lots of parties who are lonely. Instead, loneliness is a certain lack of connection, a struggle to get beyond superficial conversation, to relax around people, to find real friends. Loneliness is, I am certain, the worst possible emotion. That is why you must treasure the relationships you have. Hold onto them like your life depends on it, because a life well lived very much does. A short aside: you should know that sitting still and forgetting about your plans and worries is absolutely essential. Take time to have fun. “It strips you of yourself, as of a coat of armor, by leading you to a place defined by something larger.” (Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives - Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1) I think a lot of times, our insecurities, fueled by a sort of pride to look good, prevent us from having a genuinely good time. It is impossible to have fun when we are thinking about how we look to others. You will not believe me, but at some point in the semester you’ll be invited to a yoga session, and you’ll actually enjoy it. You’ll especially enjoy the part where 1 https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39695/files/523981?module_item_id=167999 https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ the instructor tells everyone to close their eyes and just be. And in that moment you’ll not be thinking about how you look to others, because they’ll all have their eyes closed and you will too. And you’ll be happy. In a similar way you should remember that life and experiences like these are fleeting, a thought sometimes called Memento Mori. A nun said that this idea, “allowed [her], not exactly to cope, but to surrender everything to God.” (Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die - Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3) So stop worrying about what you are projecting, at least for a time, and surrender everything to God. This semester is going to be hard. I will not lie. But a life well-lived is filled with hardships, of regrets, of even loneliness at times. We were designed by a loving God to do the hard things that need doing. We are not promised an easy life. A video that you will watch is about a man you was paralyzed during a snowboarding accident. He will never walk again. Yet he says, “the purpose of my life is not simply to overcome suffering - suffering is a part of our lives - the purpose of our life is how to respond to suffering.” (5 Minutes - Aria Swarr - Moreau FYE Week 6) So you must not wait for the circumstances to change for to be happy. You must stand your ground, even in the face of suffering. Father Hesburgh, a seminal figure in that University which you call home, believed in standing his ground also. He said, “If you want to do something good, I think there’s a lot of room right here to do something good.” (Hesburgh - Jerry Barca, Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week 2) “Here” might not just mean a place. It might mean a season in your life, perhaps a season of hardship. In fact, it is those times when it is most important to do good. No, I cannot promise the best semester. I can only give you this advise; take time to have fun, hold fast to your friends, trust your God. Go boldly into whatever suffering you encounter knowing that it is those times that truly make a life well lived. Your Self, 2 https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/transform/why-does-god-allow-suffering/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9