Moreau Integration #2


 
Moreau - 31 
11/30/21 

Integration #2 

 One of the most important thing I’ve learned these past few months at Notre Dame is how important it is to take care of 

yourself. Not only physically, but also taking time out of other maybe more fun activities to do what I need. It’s really hard to set 

limits for yourself before you feel like you’re slipping away from being yourself. It is really easy to keep moving and going, and 

then eventually you will find yourself exhausted and worn out, so much so that you can’t even take care of yourself. I have 

learned this the hard way, but also been super intentional about how I give my time out and to whom. It’s really hard to not spend 

all of my time with the people I’ve become close with, but I have gotten better at prioritizing myself. Seeing how people react to 

my boundaries has also helped me gauge the people I want in my life. For example, someone who is hesitant or off-put by me 

setting a boundary for myself (like a bed-time), shows me how they care about me. It is proof that someone cares about my 

wellbeing or does not, and this has helped my friendships. I felt that Julia Hogan’s piece, “Why Letting Go of Expectations is a 

Freeing Habit” helped me understand how to set these boundaries for myself. In the article, she says “Not only are these 

expectations arbitrary, but they will almost always backfire on you. You can’t live your life according to the expectations of 

others. When you do, you aren’t living your own life — you’re living someone else’s life. Additionally, when you let your self-

worth depend on the approval of others, disappointing them feels like the most devastating thing in the world.”  I have been very 1

intentional about doing things I find rewarding and that help me grow, rather than what I think other people do for those 

outcomes or what I think other’s expect me to do. I have struggled a lot with the idea of needing to be accepted by others, and 

I’ve realized that often those expectations they have are not what I want for myself.  

 I was confused at the beginning of the year how everyone managed to do everything at once, and with people, until I 

realized that a lot of the time is spent alone, especially during the day. It is easy to become wrapped up in this idea that you need 

to be spending 24/7 with people, but time alone has actually been the most impactful to me. Really having to be by myself, and 

feel that sense of alone instead of loneliness. I am so grateful that even when I am alone I do not feel lonely, or when I’m with 

others I feel supported, because that is something I’ve worked a lot on here. I think that has come from me being really 

vulnerable and open with my close friends here, and I already feel as if they know me as well as a lot of people from home.  

 I felt like the idea of newness or general anxiety has decreased since I’ve been here. When I first came, every class and 

coffee date was anxiety provoking. While things become more natural to me, like my roommate and schedule for each repeating 

 (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week 9) 1



week, some things still remain uncomfortable. Personal hesitation around being alone and FOMO prevents me from going to eat 

alone and therefore planning my time around other people. I have learned a lot about the benefits of being alone and the power of 

doing things by yourself. While being alone felt new for a bit, I now am much more comfortable with confronting it. I learn and 

work well with myself, and I find now I need it to function and be kind to others. I used to find myself the most extroverted 

person who loved being surrounded by others. I have learned that I actually am maybe more introverted, for I crave time to 

myself. I appreciate having my friends and such around, but I also feel as if sometimes alone time is the most supportive to my 

own mental health. Learning how to balance the two has been difficult, but it has helped me learn a lot more about myself.  

 While I find Notre Dame to be a bit less diverse than the usual population I grew up with, I have found a lot of diverse 

opinions and ideas compared to back home. I feel like being surrounded by novel ideas has helped me define my own beliefs, and 

determine that I can have differing opinions. I know I tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to me, so I have been very 

intentional about talking to people I wouldn’t usually; this has given me so much insight into how deep this community really is, 

despite the homogenous appearance of Notre Dame. In week 11, we looked at encountering community, and the drawbacks of 

having a single locus of understanding the world in a bubble. In Professor Agustin Fuentes’s Ted Talk he says “If race as we use 

the term if not a reflection of biological groups, then the real differences we see between races are based on not biological 

characteristics, but social, historical, socio-economic ones.”  While I have not had a lot of experiences with people physically 2

very diverse from myself, as compared to high-school, I think this idea can be applied to any general difference in identity. For 

example, being non-catholic has shaped my interactions with those in my dorm in a different way than my Catholic roommate. 

While at first I felt isolated and alone in this, I have found that those with strong religious beliefs (in Catholicism specifically) 

have changed my perception on how different religions impact ones choices. Just because someone has a different aspect of their 

identity to myself, labeling it as “other” is what pushes me away from starting a deep conversation with them. Once I realized 

that these things that separate my from others are not really biological or fundamentally isolating, I have been able to see them as 

similar to myself and found a lot in common about how I see the world. I also have learned that I am not as anti-Catholic as I felt 

in high-school, and I have grown closer to exploring my own faith, whether that is through other’s experiences with religion or 

it’s influence on more secular activities. 

 (“Diversity Matters!” by Professor Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week 11)2