Week 13- Integration 2 Professor Pruitt Moreau First Year Experience 3 December 2021 Freshman Year Formation: Encounters and Experiences of Emily I cannot believe the first semester of college is coming to an end in a matter of weeks. I think back to last year as I was applying to different schools and preparing to be where I am now and it makes me feel ancient. As I’ve been here I’ve encountered what my past self would have immediately labeled as failure. Not exceeding expectations I’ve set for myself, or that I think other people have set for me, is something I’ve come to realize does not mean the end of the world. Getting a B on a test instead of an A, or not completing all of my readings for world politics does not mean I’ve failed at life. Week 9 I pulled from the article “Why letting Go of Expectations is a freeing Habit” the importance of not living a life someone else wants you to live or else you will lose yourself trying to meet expectations for someone else (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan- Moreau FYE Week Nine). While it is important to have goals, such as completing all of the readings ahead of schedule, I have learned I cannot let them consume me. It is not healthy to stick to that goal if it means neglecting other work, and not taking time to make sure I eat and get enough sleep. As someone who has previously based my worth on my ability to exceed expectations I have learned that if I continue this habit in college failure to meet/exceed them will negatively impact my mental health. As someone who is already far from home, religiously isolated, and dealing with a large amount of work and little sleep I cannot have something else putting my mental health at risk when it could be avoided. I have learned to be kind to myself in a way I did not know I desperately needed. https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau While at Notre dame my desire to be a part of a community that “strive[s] to overcome and eradicate all forms of discrimination, which are contrary to God’s intent” has grown immensly (“Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory? ” by Christopher J. Devron- Moreau FYE Week Ten). Perhaps the lack of this in my greater community at home, a rather coservative sometimes racist environment, has made me desire a community such as Notre Dame even more. While on campus I believe I have found people who truly do want to “overcome and eradicate” discrimination. I see this regularly in the way people interact, and have treated me personally. Now that I have experienced this community, it is not only important that every community I am part of shares these values, but essential for my own growth and mental health. In the article the issue of whether critical race theory should be taught is debated. One side argues it should not be taught in order to preserve community unity and the other is in favor of addressing the issue and increasing diversity. Notre dame does not shy away from hard conversations, it may take them a while to deliberate, but the community is open to discussion which is extremely important. To be aware of your community’s needs you must first acknowledge them, and Notre dame has done a solid job beginning to address some of the needs in problems relating to diversity on campus. While picking a school last fall it was important not only that I find an institution dedicated to service, but one willing to self evaluate and change. I saw that in Notre Dame. It was extremely important to me, especially after the previous year filled with protests and the rise in attention to BLM, that I find an institution with strong core values. Racism is and has been ingrained in higher education since its beginning, so finding an institution that was willing to acknowledge this and make changes was really important to me. During my time here I have realized I made the right choice, Notre dame may not be perfect but it is dedicated to improving and treating others with dignity and respect. https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792 During my time at Notre Dame as an out of state student I have learned a significant amount about myself, independence, and what it means to be isolated from a familiar community and family. I have always been independent, but love my huge family, and spending time with them, so moving so far away has been an adjustment for me. This quote from the text Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community has helped me learn an important lesson while I have been away from home. “ I need other people for comfort, encouragement, and support, and for criticism, challenge, and collaboration. The self-sufficiency I feel in success is a mirage. I need community—and, if [I] open my heart, I have it.” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer- Moreau FYE Week Eleven). I have come to terms with the fact that I need a community. To be successful here means embracing the Notre Dame family since mine is so far away. Since realizing this and being here I have opened myself up to my dorm community and have been welcomed with open arms. It is because of my self growth and the strength of this community that I am able to be successful and happy here on campus. Though I am far away from my first support system I have found a new one that I get to develop and grow throughout my time here. My appreciation of different kinds of community has increased as a result of my Notre Dame journey. While at Notre Dame I have experienced utter hopelessness and yet the greatest of joy. During week twelve the discussion of hope was prominent. The text Hope- Holy Cross and Christian Education discusses having hope in the educational process, and how we need to have enough hope to question and challenge our beliefs. Though this may sound odd it is an important part of understanding self purpose in this life on earth and the next. (“Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King- Moreau FYE Week). As I reflect on my time at Notre Dame I think of the many questions I’ve asked, and can’t help but wonder if I would have http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/ https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/ asked the same things a year ago. The following questions have been essential in my formation as a Notre Dame student, and as a person. 1. How do I set expectations, and challenge myself, without allowing them to control me/ rule my entire self worth? How do I not give expectations too much power? 2. How do I make sure I am aware of the needs of my community while still acknowledging all of the concerns in the community 3. How do I use faith to actively guide my actions in my modern day to day life? 4. How does one lean into discomfort fully without fear of failure, and the feeling of needing to perfect, realistically in everyday life? 5. How do I positively contribute to other’s stories while on my own journey? 6. Once I’ve forged life giving relationships how do I maintain them, ensuring that they do not develop into unhealthy or toxic relationships? 7. How do I use hope to understand my purpose? These questions have guided me through the first semester and have helped me come to know myself, which has allowed me to begin finding my place in the greater Notre Dame community. With the second semester on the horizon, and the next four years ahead of me, I am thankful for who I am, and excited about who I am becoming.