Integration 2 Selm 1 Josephine Selm Alison Thigpen FYS 10101 3 December 2021 Facing Difficulties and Looking to the Future In the weeks following fall break, this class has discussed topics in relation to experiencing both highs and lows of livelihood. The juxtaposition of the topics of encountering dissonance and brokenness in comparison to those of encountering community and hope highlight the notion that we are all going to face hardships in life, but we will also experience moments of joy and connection. Learning not only to balance these experiences but also the emotions that accompany them is an integral part of life, hence the importance of their discussion in this course. Week thirteen itself is entitled encountering horizons, and it is extremely fitting in regards to this course, as we approach the close of the semester and the beginning of a new one. The last few months have been filled with opportunities for growth and insight into my own goals and aspirations, and learning to encounter both the difficulties and successes of life in regards to not only my career but also to my future at Notre Dame will greatly enable me to live a fuller, more meaningful life. Dissonance was discussed in relation to one's relationships and self-worth. Emery Bergmann, in her video titled “Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student,” discussed this dissonance that she experienced in relation to the beginning of her college career, in which the version of college that she had envisioned, full of new friends and experiences, actually ended up being entirely different. Bergmann discussed the emotions that she felt throughout this process, stating that “[l]oneliness is too often paired with self-blame and self criticism: ‘I can’t find my Selm 2 place among these people, so it must be my fault.’ … But by putting myself out there, I found so many communities on campus to invest myself in, and where I knew I would be happily received” (“Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week Nine). By discussing the loneliness that she felt, Bergmann highlighted a key facade of college life that many people experience -- that of extreme community and friendship. I myself fully related to Bergmann’s statements, as I also expected to go into college and immediately make friends. In reality, I was very lonely, and aside from a few acquaintances, I didn’t feel as if I had truly made any friends. Even through classes and participating in clubs, I failed to cultivate any meaningful relationships, and it wasn’t for a couple months before I truly formed solid friendships. This lesson is something that I want to pass onto others, so that they understand these feelings and know that it is normal for this to occur, because I believe that if I had known this, I might’ve approached the situation differently. The combination of my own and of Bergmann’s experiences highlights the importance of the discussion of this loneliness that so often accompanies the beginning of college. By not discussing this topic or making them known to a wider audience of incoming students, this false image was painted of community. Addressing this notion would help to lessen the dissonance that results from this interaction, and people will be better able to understand that the feelings they experience are justified and normal. Week ten of this course divulged into encountering brokenness, and looking at ways of not only addressing these emotions, but also to pursue healing. From religion to racism, brokenness is encountered across many areas, and the healing of this brokenness is a main area of evaluation, especially in regards to living healthy lifestyles and moving on from the events that caused this suffering. An articles on a Kintsugi Workshop by Grotto Network displays one way in which women find healing, with the video stating “...they learn that the things that Selm 3 they’ve experienced — the good, the bad, the ugly, all of that — it has made them this beautiful, dynamic, interesting person that they are today. And that that person is worth celebrating and honoring” (“Women Find Healing through Kintsugi Workshop.” by Grotto Network - Moreau FYE Week Ten). I found myself approaching my college career while I was still suffering from past issues, and it wasn’t until I addressed these issues before I could truly move-on and approach college from a different perspective. Feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome felt constricting on my goals and ambitions, and I was struggling to get past this and to truly put my best effort forward. This video ultimately helped me to realize the importance of healing from brokenness and embracing life following these instances. The only way to live a full life is if you are not being held back by your past, so learning to address these instances and to move forward is a vital part of growing up and moving forward, and it truly helped me throughout this semester in adjusting to college life and moving past my inhibitions to be more confident in my actions and the results of them. Community was also discussed at length, in relation to both characteristics of community and to building and embracing community. Throughout this process, the importance of this sense within aspects of life was highlighted. Not only does community foster a support network, but it is also received, not manufactured. This presents the notion that community is present in every situation, and therefore will vary based on location and demographics of the area. This, therefore, demonstrates the variety present within communities, and the importance of said variety. By increasing diversity, the community can be strengthened, increasing the benefits available to those within the community. Agustin Fuentes, in his lecture titled “Diversity Matters,” states that “Exposure and access to different viewpoints and life experiences offers insights and changes biases” (“Diversity Matters.” by Agustin Fuentes- Moreau FYE Week Eleven). Biases harm Selm 4 community, as they limit the scope that community can play by decreasing the level of diversity present. Coming from a small rural highschool, there wasn’t a lot of diversity within the school and the community itself. Everyone tended to display similar backstories, with the only differences really being drawn upon monetary and familial differences. Since beginning school here, however, I have been able to meet and interact with a multitude of different people, all of increasingly different backgrounds, upbringings, and values. This exposure has helped me to become more insightful of lifestyles different from my own, and I hope that it also has worked to change some of the biases that I might have held when I first started school. These experiences will only increase in the future, and I hope to continue to change and evolve as a result of them into a better version of myself. Hope was the final topic of discussion in this course, especially concerning hope for the future in a number of different areas. In relation to facing adversity, hope is especially beneficial to overcoming hardships. Adversity serves to strengthen one for the future, instilling a message of hope that the hard times will pass and you will be better because of the difficulty of the challenges faced. This message is applicable across a wide range of areas, including in relation to religion. The Congregation of Holy Cross discusses this as well, stating that “One does not have to be a Christian to believe that adversity does, or at least can, make people stronger and prepare them for harder challenges in the future, but no education in the faith is complete without an understanding of how the cross is much more than a burden once carried by Jesus.” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education.” by Congregation of Holy Cross - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). This image of Jesus carrying the cross is indicative of our own lives, as we also have to carry our own burdens. There is hope in it as well, because Jesus’ actions were done so to allow humanity to enter heaven. Ultimately, nothing in our lives is permanent or set in stone -- everything has the Selm 5 potential to change. Therefore, these hardships that are faced, which often seem never-ending, will too eventually come to pass. This very concept instills a sense of hope for change, especially among the ideal that change is coming and that hardships will come to pass. Utilizing this sense of hope to work though the difficulties of life is therefore a key notion to learn and employ in our lives. College itself is chalked full of hardships and setbacks, and I have faced my fair share. From not doing as well as I had hoped on exams to struggling to balance school and extracurricular activities, at times things have felt impossible. Over time, though, I have been able to push through the difficulties, and the adversity that I faced during this process helped to demonstrate that these difficulties will pass. Even now, I am struggling to balance my schedule to study for midterms, write papers, and begin studying for finals, but I can utilize this lesson to help get through the approaching difficulties with the knowledge that this time will come to pass and that I will be better as a result of the difficulties I will face. The implementation of key discussion points in relation to building healthy lifestyles and finding healing is a key notion of this class, and it helps to teach the importance of both the highs and lows of livelihood. The topics of encountering dissonance, brokenness, community, and hope are all necessary to discuss, as we are all going to face hardships in life, but we will also experience moments of joy and connection. Learning to balance these experiences and their corresponding emotions helps to build healthy relationships and lifestyles, and are therefore important to discuss and interpret in one’s own life. All of these notions tie together, looking to the future and the changes to come, rather than to dwelling on the past. The last few months have been filled with opportunities for growth and insight into my own goals and aspirations, and by learning to encounter both the difficulties and successes of life in regards to not only my career but also to my future at Notre Dame, I will be better able to live a fuller, more meaningful life. Selm 6 Works Cited Bergmann, Emery. “Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 9 Oct. 2018, https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college -student.html. Fuentes, Agustin. “Diversity Matters.” University of Notre Dame, https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44 ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436. Grotto. “Women Find Healing through Kintsugi Workshop.” Grotto Network, 2 July 2020, https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/. “Holy Cross and Christian Education.” Congregation of Holy Cross, https://www.holycrossusa.org/about-us/ministries/education/holy-cross-and-christian-edu cation/. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/ https://www.holycrossusa.org/about-us/ministries/education/holy-cross-and-christian-education/ https://www.holycrossusa.org/about-us/ministries/education/holy-cross-and-christian-education/