essay




Dr. Vanessa Chan

Moreau FYE

12 October 2021

Connection, Concessions, and Contemplation: An Examination of Core Beliefs

What a person believes has an enormous impact on the identity of that individual. Our

core beliefs bleed into every aspect of our lives, from our education, to our interactions with

others, to even our relationships with ourselves. For these reasons, it is extremely important to

spend time examining not just why we believe what we believe, but also how those beliefs

contribute to the mark that we leave on the world. As I have reflected on my own core beliefs,

I’ve found that the way that I view and interact with the world is underlined by emphases on

maintaining strong connections with others, the concession of personal faults for the purpose of

growth, and the contemplation of past experiences as a means of defining identity.

I believe that forming deep and meaningful connections is essential to the ability of an

individual to thrive in any given environment. Throughout my life, I have been fortunate enough

to have been consistently  surrounded by people with whom I share a deep sense of trust and

love. The strong familial and platonic relationships that I was exposed to early in life have

created an expectation for deep bonds in all my present and future relationships. However, the

formation of such meaningful relationships is a process that is neither quick nor easy; it requires

time, effort, and a mutual willingness to be seen. Most often, the greatest roadblock to the

creation of such connections is a reluctance to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. In my own life,

my willingness to be vulnerable has frequently been challenged by the fear of feeling shame. A

large fraction of my teenage years have been spent either combating bone cancer or dealing with

the often frustrating aftermath of the disease. For much of this time, I aimed to avoid discussing



my experiences at all costs, believing that, by doing so, I was preserving the image of myself that

I wanted others to see. But what felt like self-preservation at the time was in actuality more

synonymous with isolation. Reflecting on my past actions, and discussing the importance of

vulnerability in the context of the Moreau curriculum, has given me the opportunity to name this

fear for what it was: a fear of shame. As discussed in Dr. Brown’s commentary, humans have a

common tendency to shy away from being vulnerable due to feelings of shame over their most

personal experiences (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1). In

my case, this shame was born out of a fear of being seen differently, a fear that, if I shared the

details of my experiences and my true feelings about these trials, then sympathy or pity would

change the way that people would see me. Now that I have become aware of the root cause of

my reluctance to be vulnerable, I am more capable of avoiding the repetition of my past mistakes

and I am more capable of building strong relationships in the future.

However, vulnerability is not the only necessity for the formation of such connections. In

order for a relationship to truly allow an individual to thrive, it must be healthy and mutually

beneficial. Throughout the fourth week of the Moreau curriculum, I was able to engage in

discussions and investigations of what it means for a relationship to be healthy. I believe one

piece of content summarized this especially well, explaining that “a good, healthy friendship is

one where two people are mutually growing and on a path toward becoming better people (“5

Signs You’re In A Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4)”. Having

experienced mildly toxic friendships in my own past, I have learned the importance of being able

to identify whether or not a relationship is actually beneficial. Unhealthy relationships can be

draining, frustrating, and can even cause significant harm, directly inhibiting the ability of either

party to thrive or grow in any capacity. Now that I am aware of strategies to identify such



harmful associations, I can better avoid them in the future, thus giving myself the space and

environment that I need in order to better myself.

Another core belief that I possess is the belief that, in order to grow as a person, there is a

necessity to acknowledge my own faults and shortcomings. Early on in the Moreau curriculum,

we were asked to take a survey that would identify our strengths and weaknesses in regard to our

values and personalities. It was easy to feel pride in my strengths, which included love and hope

and perspective, but it was more difficult to acknowledge the truth in my listed weaknesses:

leadership and bravery. It’s difficult to draw a balance between self-acceptance and the pursuit of

personal growth. As said in the commentary of David Brooks, this struggle is largely because, in

regards to our own faults, “we’re not taught in this culture how to wrestle with it, how to

confront it, and how to combat it (“Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy” by David

Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 2)”. I think that this is a trend that is present in all aspects of life.

We are so quick to find faults in others, but we are often blind when it comes time to see it in

ourselves. Additionally, when we do recognize our own flaws, we are often reluctant to put in the

difficult work that is required to make changes to our habits. This belief is a more difficult pill to

swallow, and it has taken me a great deal of time to truly accept what this requires, but as I am

learning to adjust to the new environment of college, it is more clear to me than ever that the

pursuit of self-growth is crucial in all avenues of life. We cannot make effective positive change

in the world without first learning to make positive changes in our own day-to-day actions.

One way we can all begin to acknowledge our faults is through education about implicit

bias. The concept of implicit bias is one that was recently introduced to me, and it was a difficult

realization to come to. We all would like to believe that we are good people, but sometimes

unconscious generalizations can lead us to cause harm, which although unintentional, is harmful



all the same. Allowing these generalizations to persist keeps power out of the hands of these

generalized populations, power that is “the ability not just to tell the story of another person, but

to make it the definitive story of that person (“Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi

Adichie - Moreau FYE Week 7)”. However, by beginning to become more aware of these

generalizations, and by educating ourselves on a variety of perspectives, we can work to avoid

doing more harm in the future. I also believe that we can use faith as a tool to better ourselves

and to make a positive impact on the world. As I have reflected on the role that faith currently

plays in my life, and the role that I would like it to grow into, I’ve decided that faith is most

important to me as a tool with which I can better understand and serve the world around me. In

the Moreau content, one Notre Dame student, Kyle, described a similar approach to faith as “a

collective effort towards justice, an orientation towards solidarity, and a commitment to the

common good. (“Student Reflections on Faith” curated by Campus Ministry - Moreau FYE

Week 3)”. We can use faith as a means of recognizing areas requiring growth in both our

individual selves and the world as a whole.

Finally, I believe that I can most effectively pursue a strong sense of self when I spend

time reflecting on my background. Allowing myself to ruminate on past experiences, and to

investigate how those experiences have contributed to my present habits and personality, has

given me the ability to better understand my own thoughts and feelings. I think that the first part

of this process is learning to view difficult past experiences in a more positive light, accepting

past trials as opportunities for learning and growth as opposed to moments to be scorned.  I have

learned the importance of accepting that “there is no failure that grace cannot transfigure into a

blessing (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Fr. Kevin Grove, C.S.C - Moreau

FYE Week 5)”. When we develop the ability to find gratitude for past periods of strife, we are



able to find more satisfaction and assurance in our present lives. In the future, I hope to keep this

truth in mind as I encounter new and unexpected obstacles. It is also extremely beneficial to

examine how positive parts of our past have shaped who we are today. Through the activity of

writing a poem about my own origins and background (based on “Where I’m From” by Geroge

Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week 6), I was able to clearly recognize my own enduring values and

identify formative moments of my past that contribute to my present self. Upon rereading what I

had written, I realized that all my most vivid childhood memories are of meaningful moments

spent with family. Additionally, the discussions that I had with my peers allowed us to examine

commonalities between our values, many of us sharing an emphasis on family and images of

familiar places. Reflecting on my past has allowed me to be more confident as I have continued

adjusting to new experiences and relationships in college, and I hope to continue to periodically

reflect on my experiences as I continue my journey through life.