Capstone Integration




A Continuous Journey

I think the model of reflective leadership is a great model to live by because it can be applied to
all aspects of life. The obvious implication is in holding an actual “leadership position”, where the
title tells you that you have to be a leader. In this situation, the leadership is explicitly demanded
but the reflection is not. However, the quality of reflective leadership is even more important
when there is no explicit demand for leadership. In relationships with friends and family, being a
reflective leader demands the ability to govern your own thoughts and actions as well as setting
an example for others.

I have the potential to be a reflective leader in many different aspects of my life, beginning with
my education at Notre Dame. As I have come to understand the purpose of this education, I
have realized that there are many aspects of it beyond the factual information I will learn in the
classroom. In fact, particularly with the field of computer science, there have been heated
debates on whether a college degree is even worth it. There are so many coding bootcamps
that promise a great job for a fraction of the monetary cost of a traditional college education, and
personally, I have questioned at times whether I am wasting my time and money being at such a
university. In addition to the questions of the merits of a degree for my career, I have also
questioned why I ended up at such a prestigious university in the first place. Drawing from our
discussion of Deresiewicz’s “The Students”, I have wondered if it was just by virtue of “being on
the treadmill” that attending this school was just another hoop to jump through for the sake of
jumping through hoops. Still, my complete understanding of the value of a Notre Dame
education answers all these questions. First of all, the coding bootcamps usually do not provide
anywhere near the value they advertise. But more than that, the reason I choose to stay at this
place is for the education I receive outside of the classroom.

The meaning I find at this place is the education of how to be a person and how to have loving
relationships. I believe that this place is what I need to get off the treadmill, so to speak. By
looking at my life in a holistic manner, I hope to understand my deepest desires and how to
accomplish those. Deresiewicz’s example of students from elite universities (and honestly some
from here) competing for top consulting jobs strictly because they are hard to land illustrates
what it looks like to lack an understanding of your true desires. They do not know what they
really want, so they go for “the next thing” in the line of challenges. I intend for my life to be
different from theirs. Not necessarily in the sense that I do not want a challenging career, but in
that I would want that because I find joy in it. In thinking about what it means to have joy in
something, I recall Fr. Himes’ “Three Key Questions”. In essence, he proposed that for
something to be a great career for someone, they should like doing it, they should be good at it,
and it should be a genuine service to the community at large. These questions are something I
intend to grapple with throughout my entire career, specifically focusing on the last one. I do not
think that the first two will be an issue for me, as I especially enjoy working with computers and I
seem to be pretty good with it, but I think the last one will be hardest to nail. In recent years, we
have seen all sorts of uses of technology that work against the consumer’s best interest and



against the common good. One example of this is weaponizing technology to enforce near
impossible quotas on warehouse workers and delivery drivers. I believe that I will have to make
difficult decisions in my career path in dealing with these companies, especially if they are
offering a large sum of money or asking me to build something I morally disagree with. Still, if I
believed that it was impossible to achieve this balance, I would not have chosen this career
path.

The next place I believe is vital for me to be a reflective leader is in my involvement with clubs
and residential life. With my involvement in clubs, specifically the Linux Users Group as I will
take on the role of vice president, I feel it is my responsibility to pass on the experience and
knowledge I have gained relating to my career to the other members of the club, yet more
importantly to create a welcoming environment that encourages learning and curiosity. In this
sense, I hope to become a good accompanier as Reifenberg described in his article. This is
where the reflective part of reflective leadership comes in. Obviously we want to share our
passions and curiosity with anyone interested, but we must also meet them where they are and
provide support when they need it. In this capacity, reflective leadership is using a position not to
create distance, but rather to use the expertise gained to provide support and reduce any
perceived support. Similarly, next year in Fisher Hall I will have the responsibility of providing a
welcoming home to the fresh fish that will be living with us. Being a reflective leader here
requires a careful balance of teaching them the traditions, culture, and expectations of living in
Fisher with personal empathy and individualized attention as they make the biggest transition
yet in their lives. Additionally, I must meet the expectation of providing solitude in friendship
through meaningful conversation. In this way I hope to create strong and personal connections
with the freshmen as they become adjusted to life here.

As I think about my life beyond this freshman year, which has flown by so quickly, and think
about my view from this mountain pass as Dillard’s “Stalking” suggests, I am inspired by the
potential that has been shown to me. I have only just begun my journey and soon I will be
challenged to live out my values in a difficult situation when the stakes are high. Before I know it,
I may have true authority and have the choice to preserve the status quo, or to, as Pope Francis
calls us to, identify our cause-concerns and act on them to create meaningful social change in
the world.