Week 8 Integration - Defining a Life Well-Lived Kelly Harrington Moreau FYS 10102 51 4 March 2022 It Gets Better If you’re sitting in this room, thank you for taking the time to come here. I never thought I’d be writing my own eulogy, yet here I am. I hope that by the end of this you will have something of me to remember me by and that you all know that my gratitude and appreciation for you are endless. As a side note: for so much of my life, I struggled to not be overly self-critical and needed to be reminded that I need to be kinder to myself and was often taken off guard when told that I am perceived differently by others than I perceive myself (Moreau FYE Week Five). I hope that this reading will do justice to the me you have in your minds. Now, onto the reading. My goal throughout it all, I suppose, was to live a life well-lived. When this concept was first introduced to me, I wasn’t quite sure what it meant but thought that I had a good enough understanding of it and didn’t really bother to dig any deeper than was required. Having lived past that initial introduction, however, has allowed me to learn that it is so much more than what I first imagined it to be. At the time, I was rather depressed and while I was going to therapy, a lot of life seemed like a drag and so much work to get through. When asked about my future plans, I could give you an answer, but it definitely wouldn’t be the truth as I didn’t know what it was that I wanted to do. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I just had no clue what I wanted to do so I was pretending otherwise and was slowly suffocating under self-placed expectations that really weren’t sustainable in the long term. I had placed all of my future plans around the fact that I disliked STEM a little less so my major and class were going to revolve around that fact. As stated earlier, not sustainable. After all, “if a person only focuses on one or two parts of his/her self-concept for a career, that person will eventually hit a wall” and that’s exactly how I felt as I struggled through classes and turning assignments in ("Navigating Your Career Journey” by the Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week Four). At that point in time, everything was exhausting, but maybe not how you may imagine. Something as simple as picking up the phone may seem like an arduous task to others. Studies have shown that “it takes an average of twenty-five minutes to recover from a phone call” (“Why we need to slow down our live” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). While picking up a phone call may have drained me, the general apathy I felt on a day to day basis meant that getting out of bed or walking to get food were harder tasks for me to accomplish. Eventually though, things get better. This is something that I have found people like to say: “It gets better.” What they are leaving out though, is that sometimes it requires a tremendous amount of effort to get better. I had a terrific amount of help getting to where I got; many of you are probably in this room and I thank you for all of your efforts - you are loved and appreciated. With all of the assistance that I received, life became more manageable and things truly did get better. One of the biggest things that I dived into with my newly renewed vigor for life was fighting for those who could not fight for themselves. Inspired greatly by Fr. Ted Hesburgh, C.S.C. of the University of Notre Dame and his deeds that reflected how he became “the conscience of the country on civil rights,” I hoped to do my part in upholding that legacy both as an alumni of Notre Dame but also as a human being who recognized the need for equality (“Hesburgh” produced by Jerry Barca and Crhistine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week Two). Having lived through a time of mass school shootings, a movement for black lives, my home https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 state catching on fire every so often, places in the South freezing over, and a global pandemic before even reaching the lively age of twenty, the need for the world ro do better was undeniably obvious. With the principle to “ just focus what we can do for others or what we can do already instead of what we cannot do and what we do not have yet,” I hope I was able to bring about some change in the communities that I was able to touch, even if the change is not long lasting (“Five Minutes” by Aria Swarr - Moreau FYE Week Six). For so long, I thought that a life well-lived meant that I would be leaving behind a legacy, something that would show the way that I had made my mark on the world. Instead, I have discovered over the years that the most important thing to me in the end was a feeling of self-fulfillment. So what if no one will remember me in a hundred years? I refuse to let myself be constrained by the expectations and standards of others even in death. I’ll say it right now: I may have regrets but my life was well-lived by my own standards. I was able to find my people and my place in the world and will die content and there is almost nothing more I can ask for. Speaking of which, I can and will ask for something from you, my dear people, so listen up. Remember you will die. This may seem like just a pithy statement that was all the rage back when I was younger, but “remembering death keeps us awake, focused, and ready for whatever might happen - both the excruciatingly difficult and the breathtakingly beautiful” (“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week Three). If you do your best to live a life well-lived, regardless of whether you are able to accomplish that or not, this concept is a great way to keep your goals in sight. This is also probably something that I would have gotten tattooed on myself if I wasn’t so afraid of needles, but I digress. I hope that at some point during this reading you have learned something that you will be able to keep with you. If not, I will leave you with one last quote: “How wonderful would it be, while we discover https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/transform/why-does-god-allow-suffering/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html faraway planets, to rediscover the needs of the brothers and sisters orbiting around us” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis - Moreau FYE Week Seven). And lastly, a reminder: it gets better. It may be hard but it will get better and once it does, you have the rest of your life ahead of you so don’t be afraid to live a life well-lived. https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript