Wilson 1 Andrew Whittington Moreau First Year Experience 5 October 2021 A Creed to Live By Root Belief #1: I believe that although I am in constant search for validation from others, I owe it to myself to be genuine and embrace my imperfections. Through my experiences I have concluded that there is no end in the journey of discovering oneself. Staying true to my interests and beliefs rather than being the person that someone else wants me to be is a constant struggle in my life. The following quote perfectly embodies my mindset and shows the reasoning behind this belief: “Shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me that if other people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection?” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). After hearing this, my perception on self-validation changed drastically. It made me realize the absurdity of living a life in which my self-worth is determined by others. I should not fear being my true self. Although this is much easier said than done, I will say that progress is possible. I have come to the conclusion that when I embrace my imperfections, my relationships with others grow stronger as a direct result of this trustworthiness, openness, and honesty. I believe that in order to live this out I must love myself before I can love others. To practice compassion with others we must first treat ourselves kindly. This form of self-respect may sometimes be confused as hubris, narcissism, or even egotism; however, this is a misconception. In order to embrace our true self, we must love ourselves. I personally relate to this quote by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be Wilson 2 David Brooks, “We live in perpetual self-confrontation between the external success and internal value” (“Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy?” by David Brooks – Moreau FYE Week Two). I believe I need to value my strengths just as much as I value my weaknesses to ensure that my external success does not misrepresent myself by covering up my internal weaknesses. This viewpoint is one that I will hold with me throughout my life and is certainly a core belief of mine. Root Belief #2: I believe that faith is a main aspect of my life that must continue to be enriched for the betterment of myself as well as others. Father Pete said, “At the core of oneself is the very presence of God” (“The Role of Faith in Our Story” by Fr. Pete McCormick, C.S.C. – Moreau FYE Week Three). This statement right here summarizes my belief. I truly believe that God is within everyone; however, this means that we must find faith within ourselves. I must never fail to live by the fact that I will never be alone because God will always be with me. I would also like to stress that our surroundings can play a large role in our spiritual life and, in return, how we view and treat others. My personality and actions tend to conform to those around me which is why the religious aspect of Notre Dame is critical. It holds me accountable and keeps me in check which I need and appreciate. I also have a bad habit of praying only when I intend to ask God of something in return, effectively entrusting my problems to a higher authority. I also tend to seek God in times of trouble rather than gratitude which is unfair and wrong. This is something that I realize and need to improve regarding my relationship with God. One way in which I intend to better my relationship and faith life is by living in accordance to the following quote: “We cannot love the God that we do https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM&ab_channel=TED https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs&ab_channel=UniversityofNotreDameCampusMinistry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs&ab_channel=UniversityofNotreDameCampusMinistry Wilson 3 not see, if we don’t love the brother whom we do see” (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Fr. Kevin Grove, C.S.C. – Moreau FYE Week Five). By bettering my relationships with others and extending my love for them, I will also be enriching my own faith life in return which fulfills this central belief of mine. Root Belief #3: I believe that forging life-giving relationships is not an entitlement to a single side but rather involves mutuality and compromise between two people. My personal definition of life-giving relationships are interactions that are beneficial to both recipients. Before this course, I never gave relationships with various people much thought especially not in terms of categorization. I realized that a lot of friendships are built from discovering similar ways of thinking between you and another person. This means that you both enjoy and perhaps dislike the same hobbies, jokes, etc. Bonding can occur through complaining about a mutual feeling, but excessive talk of disdain is unhealthy. Just as Olivia Taylor wrote, “There is, however, a difference between confiding and excessive complaining” (“Five Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor – Moreau FYE Week Four). If someone only complains and never listens this is a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship which I failed to see before. I think the reason I did not previously acknowledge this was due to having a track record of healthy relationships which I certainly took for granted. Now, I hope to take this new way of thinking and apply it to both existing and new relationships henceforth. I also hope to continue to lessen my entitlement as a result of ignorance by continuing to stay aware of these issues through engaging in conversation with others. https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ Wilson 4 Root Belief #4: I believe that understanding one’s personal bias is crucial to empathizing with others and something we must all work on to better ourselves. Our bias and misconceptions can usually be connected back to our childhood and upbringing. Because of this, it is important to understand where we came from in regards to both our misfortunes and blessings. In my poem I wrote, “I’m from the son of a steel miner who made it his time. I’m from two sisters who lead the way. I’m from being the youngest child who cries until it’s made his way” (“Where I’m From” by – Moreau FYE Week Six). I have realized the hard work and dedication of my parents, and I possess a great gratitude for them as a result. I also appreciate the love and care that both of my sisters have shown me throughout my life. It is these things that we must realize and express gratitude for or else we will become human beings that lack compassion and are merely filled with hatred and entitlement. In a similar way, understanding our roots can help establish our innate differences with others. As Keith Payne wrote, “This tendency for stereotype-confirming thoughts to pass spontaneously through our minds is what psychologists call implicit bias. It sets people up to overgeneralize, sometimes leading to discrimination even when people feel they are being fair” (“How to Think about ‘Implicit Bias’” by Keith Payne – Moreau FYE Week Seven). In response to this, being aware of ourselves and our biases is helpful to not only ourselves but our treatment of others as well. Most people are not immoral people looking to discriminate, but rather they need to work on certain engrained characteristics in order to better themselves and others. I live by this statement and hope to continue to educate myself on the lives of others as well as my own to better myself as a whole. https://docs.google.com/document/d/176Cyl4xGfmea2QfC2QpRE4RIRVHqBxio/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=114441429347016252455&rtpof=true&sd=true https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/