Moreau First Year Experience Section #78 Prof. Pruitt November 29, 2021 Kositzke Believe in your belonging. College is a time in which change is inevitable. No matter your circumstances, when you enter college as a freshman, you enter an environment of unfamiliarity. And so, it is nearly impossible to instantly feel at home with this sudden change. The truth is that you belong- there’s a place for you on campus. What bridges the gap between feelings of isolation and the truth that there is a place for you is the belief that belonging exists. Once we embrace it, once we live a life that embodies a sense of belonging, we can grow. Entering college, everyone has some sort of image of what to expect. Whether that image is met or not, almost all students place a large emphasis on these expectations as a measure for their success in college. But, these expectations are almost always flawed. They are drawn from images of others, ideals built up in the minds of students in anticipation for this period of their lives. Whether it be movies, relatives, or some other connection, almost everyone has some sort of expectation when it comes to college. This is dangerous. Expectations can be useful in intentional goal setting or some leadership, but employing direct expectations in everyday life constantly introduces a significant element of stress. And so enlies the first main lesson I took away from Moreau. “Instead of letting your life be ruled by the expectations of others or your own expectation that you have to be perfect, what if you just did your best?” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week 9). So, how can we help people feel comfortable about pushing out these expectations? Simply enough, awareness. Learning stories that are similar to your own allow some sense of ease in tense individuals. Elizabeth Cox outlines it in the same lesson as the previous point: “With increasing awareness of how common these experiences are, perhaps we can feel freer to be frank about our feelings and build confidence in some simple truths: you have talent, you are capable, and you belong”- (“What is Imposter Syndrome” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week 9). Imposter syndrome is natural. People shouldn’t be embarrassed or disturbed by it. Share your story with others and belonging will come naturally. Related to sharing your story with those around you, a strong community can be crucial in achieving a sense of belonging. Throughout my life, I’ve placed significant value on those around me, particularly during times of stress or troubles. From classmates to family members to even instructors, I’ve learned that those around me care deeply for me and when we embrace each other, we build each other up. I feel as though when I go out of my way to force some of these connections, it feels ingenuine and never quite the same as a true relationship. Essentially, “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community”) by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week 11). People who focus too much on achieving some outcome for the community alienate one another and connections diminish. We must take a breath and recognize people around us. We’ve established the importance of eliminating expectations and genuinely embracing the community around us. But, it’s not that simple. Our interactions are tainted by things like implicit bias, and the divisions which spur from that. We must raise awareness that implicit bias is real, and we must make efforts to eliminate it so everyone feels welcome. Diversity is a powerful tool. It shouldn’t be controversial in any way. ‘Why does it matter?’, some may ask. To that, I say that a variety of lifestyles, experiences, and perspectives is the key to driving ourselves forward. As Palmer said, we cultivate connectedness by “penetrating the illusion of separateness and touching the reality of interdependence.” If individuals continue to look out solely for themselves, nothing good will come. There’s value in the connections which we make with others. Notre Dame is helping to fuel connections all across the nation, and I recognize this immense opportunity and attempt to seize it everyday and bond with everyone I see. Our university president even said: “A country whose citizens treat each other with scorn does not have a bright future”- (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” by Father John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week 10) The last core value which I truly feel the Moreau curriculum cultivated within myself and added value to my college experience is that of vulnerability. It was the first lesson I had in college as a whole, an exciting start for Week One. But it stuck with me, reappearing in other lessons and popping in my head even when not mentioned. The whole notion that we cannot bury the past and we instead must embrace mistakes to grow is something I hold near to my heart. I hate when I make mistakes, but I always make sure to reflect on those I make so that I am able to keep growing beyond where I was when they happened. Just as the practice of kintsugi described in Week 10 explains, being broken doesn’t mean you can’t have any beauty in the future. “He cannot ‘tempt’ to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles” - (The Screwtape Letters) by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week 12. This source talks about the power of faith and how a God would find beauty in the stumbles of humans. Even a letter written by the devil himself acknowledges the power that can be found in our faults, the growth that can materialize from mistakes. Father Moreau’s five principles encompass all that I’ve talked about in this paper when considering what it means to belong. Our mind is at the core, rationalizing the world around us and keeping us grounded. Heart, quite possibly my favorite virtue of all time, is key to connections with others and fostering meaningful relationships. Zeal is the passion and drive to push through obstacles and remains strong. Family is a network which we can always feel safe around and fall back on in times of need. And hope allows us to see the light even when there is only darkness in sight. These principles combine in a truly spectacular manner and, when embraced, contribute to an environment of togetherness. Sharing these words in particular brings the family of Notre Dame together, it allows a commonality for us to all share. The meaning of ‘to belong’ bounces all over the place, not unlike the subjects of this paper. But that’s the key! Belonging can manifest in any number of aspects which surround us, all we need to do is believe in them. Believe in the potential that others have, believe in the possibility that things will work out. Of course, it helps not to overvalue expectations, collaborate with others (sharing your story with others to diminish imposter syndrome), seek out diverse connections for deeper value, acknowledge mistakes and vulnerabilities, and embrace stumbles of our lives. If we keep an open mind and embrace just some of Father Moreau’s teachings, belonging will be a byproduct- it’s just a matter of time.