Moreau Integration One Me in the Making “To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” - Mahatma Gandhi When we believe something, we communicate that we have confidence in that statement or idea. These beliefs begin to form early in childhood, from bedtime stories and life lessons, from playground feuds and classroom conversations. Over time, our beliefs begin to make up who we are, how we treat people, and how we conduct ourselves. To say we hold a belief, and then act in the opposite manner, almost wholly negates this declaration of confidence. Over the past two months at Notre Dame, I have strived to more fully form my beliefs and to live them in my daily life. The Moreau First Year Experience and the relationships I have formed have been essential to this self-discovery. First, I believe that everyone deserves kindness. My oldest sister Genna is the kindest person I know; she is gracious, compassionate, loving, and affectionate. She smiles at people who have mistreated her, gives to those who have taken from her, and loves those who do nothing but hate; I can count on one hand the times I have heard her speak a mean word to somebody. Genna took care of me for much of my childhood. From her, I learned how much kindness can change someones’ day. I learned about the intrinsic value of a human being and how everyone, no matter how different, deserves kindness. “Being nice is free,” she would always say. In my life, she has influenced me to make conversation with the barista at Starbucks, to include those that seem uncomfortable in the conversation, and to extend kindness even to those I disagree with. Most importantly, I believe we must be kind to those that look, act, or have different cultures from us. No matter how much we might not understand, I believe we must respect the basic humanity of every person by offering a kindhearted and tolerant hand. I feel that implicit bias, discussed in Week 7, can largely be combated in daily life by simply treating everyone with the same altruism. Second, I believe that everyone belongs somewhere. When I transferred from a private middle school with a class of forty students to a public high school with a class of six hundred and fifty students, I ultimately found where I belonged in the most unexpected of places. For my first year of high school, I tried in vain to form meaningful friendships with the first group of girls I met. We had fun together and talked during lunch, but it was never on the level I desired. The next year, I met a group of people outside the auditorium that eventually became my best friends. Somehow, this group was different. Somewhere, that was where I belonged. As a result, I believe that belonging is something we can’t necessarily control. If someone is struggling to form friendships, I believe it is not an issue with the person, but simply that they belong elsewhere. A sense of belonging is essential to one’s happiness, peace, and comfort. As such, I try to cultivate a sense of belonging in those around me by being a good friend and sharing meaningful moments with them. As Olivia Taylor shared, “A good friend should never make you feel like the things you’re saying are unimportant and uninteresting,” (5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four). I can help others find where they belong by giving my full attention to anyone I talk to and truly being invested in and focused on the conversation. Third, I believe we are meant to serve others. Throughout that childhood, I saw my grandparents take friends, acquaintances, and strangers into their house for days at a time. Every Sunday night dinner seems to bring a new guest, and their retirements have been dedicated to serving others through our local church. Since my cousins and I could walk, we have accompanied my grandpa to the homeless shelter downtown every Saturday morning, where he spends hours cooking, preparing, serving, and conversing with the less fortunate of Los Angeles. Their constant generosity has shown me that our ultimate purpose in life truly is to help others. At Notre Dame, our “Catholic education means that every discipline that searches for truth, shares in that final and most beautiful truth that calls us to serve each other in love,” (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Kevin Grove - Moreau FYE Week 5). I truly believe that as a group, our purpose is to give to the less fortunate and somehow leave the Earth better than we found it. I hope that this manifests in my career path, where I hope to help those struggling in health through surgery. I know that Notre Dame will live in us throughout the rest of our lives, and I am excited to see what we all do in the future. Fourth, I believe there is strength in vulnerability. There is often an importance placed on “strength,” sometimes seen as acting tough in difficult situations, not letting tears fall when hardships arise, or pushing through every possible circumstance without a complaint. However, I have found in my life that the vulnerability in allowing yourself to feel and show emotion often takes more strength than all of the above. Vulnerability is scary. Vulnerability is bearing your soul, letting people see the parts of you that might not be so pretty. To me, that is absolutely terrifying; I never want to be a burden or hardship for others or to bring any stress upon their life. Further, I don’t want to give up control of others’ images about me. However, I have found that “You have to surrender to something outside yourself to gain strength within yourself.” (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). To form strong relationships and long-lasting bonds, vulnerability is essential. I first found this to be true with my siblings; when we started being more honest with each other, we became much closer and formed the friendships we have today. The closest friendships I have made at Notre Dame were born of openness and mutual vulnerability. To be vulnerable is to let others in, giving yourself the possibility of an important connection. The University of Notre Dame is a place that fosters the development and discovery of the self. Throughout my brief time here, I have already learned so much about my relationships with others and with the world. The diversity of experiences in the community of students and faculty at this school has broadened my perspectives and introduced me to so many new cultures and ways of living. I can only hope that the next four years will continue to be as eye-opening and rewarding as these past few months.