Week 8- Integration One Ladd 1 Mr. Drew Espeseth Moreau First Year Experience 15 October 2021 Finding My “Why” in the Midst of Chaos Throughout these several weeks of Moreau, I have been able to take a look inward in order to deepen my self-knowledge and truly understand what I believe. All too often, we are consumed by the immediate demands and fast-paced energy of everyday life, finding time to only focus on our surroundings rather than on ourselves. Having this time to reflect internally has helped me center myself and strengthen my root beliefs so that I am strong in the courage of my convictions. I have several root belief statements that I hold true to my heart and feel allow me to understand the “why” behind my life. By expanding upon each, I hope to reveal more about my character and the influences behind my everyday decisions. I believe that I am searching for a sense of fulfillment and belonging in every aspect of my life. This is true especially in regards to my career, passions, and relationships. I have always been someone who values success, but the older I grow the more emphasis I place on living a happy life free from regret. In Week One of Moreau, we talked a lot about the importance of vulnerability through the lens of Brené Brown’s Ted Talk. Brown emphasized the idea of allowing yourself to “be seen” in order to feel a sense of fulfillment and belonging in life. I found this concept to be quite noteworthy as I often viewed “being seen” as something weak or negative. Brown took the opposite approach and provided several insights on how important authenticity and compassion are for each person. Sometimes this task feels daunting, but I felt Brown put it simply when she encouraged us “to do something when there is no guarantee” Ladd 2 (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). Brown emphasized the fact that being vulnerable can help me find a true sense of love and belonging within my community. Throughout my first semester, I have tried to put myself out there in terms of clubs, relationships, and other opportunities. This was truly doing something with “no guarantee,” but it led to me getting an on-campus job, joining meaningful clubs that help discern my major, and meeting some of my closest friends thus far. There have been times in the past where not having any guarantee has failed me, making it challenging for me to be consistently vulnerable. However, I have learned vulnerability is all about putting yourself out there despite negative past experiences, and I have now shifted my view to see that it is truly positive to “be seen” by others. I believe that I grow by recognizing both my strengths and weaknesses and their influence on my life. Growth is often thought of as something positive, however I have learned that the path toward growth is never smoothly paved, but rather riddled with bumps along the way. I have failed many times in my life and, though these experiences were negative, they are the ones that have allowed me to grow and learn about myself the most. This idea reminds of Week Two of Moreau when we talked about the concept of Adam I versus Adam II introduced by David Brooks. Brooks feels as though we think too much about our professional achievements and traits (Adam I), rather than cultivating the truly meaningful qualities that would be discussed at our funerals (Adam II). As Brooks said, “Adam I is built by building on your strengths. Adam II is built by fighting your weaknesses'' (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy?” by David Brooks -Moreau FYE Week Two). Over the years, I have found it easy to build on my strengths, however I am often afraid to grapple with my weaknesses. Doing this takes more time and effort and requires blunt acknowledgement of my shortcomings and failures. What I have learned over the years, though, is that growth does not https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM Ladd 3 happen without these realizations. Being conscious of both my strengths and flaws and making an active effort to work on improving them in everyday life is my first step toward growth and character development. I strive to do this as I encounter both successes and failures throughout my college experience. I believe that my purpose is to ask questions about the world around me and dare to take a risk. I feel I possess a sense of curiosity, to an extent. I have a love of learning that was instilled in me from the time I was little. However, I often find myself staying within my comfort zone when it comes to certain topics that require lots of internal reflection, such as faith. Growing up, my family identified with the Christian tradition, yet we began to fall out of our faith routine as times got more hectic and busy. Going to Catholic school all my life made faith something that was always there for me. However, I wondered (and still continue to wonder) how faith fit into my life. In Week Three of Moreau, we discussed the idea of self discovery and faith forming the world. As Father Pete said in his video, “The greatest journey you will go on is one of self discovery” (“The Role of Faith in Our Story” by Fr. Pete McCormick, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Three). This journey of self-discovery is ongoing, as people can learn something new about themselves everyday. Father Pete also mentioned that faith is central to this self-discovery process, and that things such as success, failure, and productivity should be an afterthought. I think this is important to remember as I often find myself getting caught up in the end goal, or what is to come next. I am often afraid to take a risk for fear of what could go wrong, rather than focusing on what could go right. However, I am lucky to be at an institution such as Notre Dame that promotes self-discovery, and I encourage myself to make an active effort to take risks and ask questions in order to understand topics such as what my faith truly means to me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs Ladd 4 I believe that I forge life-giving relationships by treating others how I would like to be treated. This “golden rule,” as some may call it, is something that I have always been a steadfast believer in. I have noticed that when I treat others with the same respect I would want to be given, they are more likely to reciprocate and form a positive relationship. This basic principle has been the basis of many of my closest relationships. We talked a lot about relationships— both good and bad ones —in Week Four of Moreau. In an article from The Grotto, they emphasized that “the best kinds of friendships are when you leave with a smile on your face” (“5 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four). I have been in several situations of “friendship” where I leave somewhere from spending time with people feeling drained and disappointed. People in my past life have fit the description of an unhealthy relationship, and I am grateful to have removed myself from those situations. However, I have come to learn through experience that these are not the types of people that I want to be around. On the other hand, there have been many times where I have left with “a smile on my face,” as the quote says. This is what friendship is all about — surrounding yourself with people who add value to your life and push you to be the best version of yourself. True friends always support one another, in good times and in bad. They lift one another up and give each other life when the other needs it most. These are the kinds of attributes that I look for in people when faced with the opportunity to form new relationships, and I continually work to display these traits to others. I believe that I am made to be a changemaker and force of good unto others. I want my life to have value, but by doing so I simultaneously want to add value to the lives of others. In Week Five of Moreau, we explored the idea of making change and being a force for good. Being at Notre Dame, I am immersed in a culture that places a strong emphasis on doing good, as this is the utmost principle the university was founded on. We had the opportunity to watch videos https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ Ladd 5 and read articles that explained the history of Notre Dame, as well as the mission behind the university’s creation. As Fr. Kevin Grove, C.S.C. says in his video about Notre Dame, “We cannot love the God whom we cannot see if we do not love the brother we can see” (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Fr. Kevin Grove, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Five). This idea exemplifies how we can truly make a difference in the world by caring for our neighbor, as it is through our neighbor that we see God. This connects back to the value I have for the golden rule, or treating others how you would like to be treated. By doing so, you are leading by example and encouraging others to have a desire to do good. At Notre Dame specifically, I have seen the genuine connection and care that the Irish community has for one another. Each person here has a sense of pride about the university and genuine desire to better themselves in every aspect. The component of faith unites the community together, regardless of where anyone falls on the religious scale, and reminds us of our obligation to others. I am very grateful and blessed to be at an institution that is not only renowned for its academics, but also for its mission and commitment to the betterment of the whole person. I feel inspired each day to go make a difference and enhance someone’s life better through my actions. That is difficult to find, and I feel lucky I can continue my next four years here. I believe that I am responsible for understanding my upbringing and how it influences my life. My family and background have always been very important to me, and I feel that they have influenced my view on the world greatly. In Week Six of Moreau, we were asked to write a poem detailing where we were from. I did not take this as the physical place I was from, but rather as the values that are present at my very core. I discussed the appreciation I have for the simple moments in life as well as the value I place on tradition. I talked specifically about dinners with my family, describing them as “Simple but powerful,/Bringing us together/like we never left” https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 Ladd 6 (“'Where I'm From' Poem” by - Moreau FYE Week Six). Whether it was a holiday, other celebratory occasion, or even just a random weekday, sitting down at the table with my family was where we truly got to connect. No matter what was going on, we found time to share a meal at some point together and take a break from the demands of everyday life. Though dinner may seem like a simple and repetitive act, I have always believed sharing food and fellowship with someone is a perfect chance to connect. For this reason, I have always tried to engage with people in this way. At Notre Dame specifically, simple dining hall meals or nights spent on the library lawn surrounded by a plate of cookies have led to some very meaningful conversations and bonds formed. I look forward to what is to come if I continue to take the time to sit down with someone, share an experience, and make a connection. I believe that I pursue truth by working to understand all perspectives and by appreciating diversity. Though it is important we value our own beliefs and traditions, it is just as crucial to make an effort to understand the views of those around us. I have always considered myself to be socially intelligent, as I am very accepting of diversity and conscious of the other perspectives around me. However, after reflecting on my life after the Moreau assignment, I have come to learn that I possess biases that I do not even realize. In Week Seven of Moreau, we talked a lot about the idea of “truth.” The common consensus is that everyone has their own definition of what is true for them, however, it is important that we realize the implicit biases that exist in our lives. We often take the single viewpoint or “story” we hear to be the whole truth. This is farthest from the case, as there is always a bigger picture and more knowledge to have. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie put it best in her Ted Talk when she said, “When we reject the single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise” (“The Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Moreau FYE Week Seven). We as https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xJRT9ygG8S52RRad2I0Nao8EnBVbiLK3cyXNMwb-a7w/edit https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story Ladd 7 humans must realize that there is not one set story or way of doing things, but rather a multitude of perspectives that add value and diversity to the whole truth. Adichie encourages us to stray away from adopting one set notion as the truth as humans are always learning, changing, and figuring out new truths in our lives. It is our job to look at the bigger picture and make sure we have all the knowledge we can to have an informed opinion about the world around us. This goal of deciphering the truth is one I have as I move forward at Notre Dame and am faced with a multitude of opinions from my peers and others around me. The root beliefs discussed above are seven that I am able to confidently stand by and defend. Though some have stayed constant in my life, others have been altered or made stronger through activities and discussions in Moreau. Developing concrete examples of my beliefs helps me understand what I prioritize in life, and also identifies what I hope to get out of my college journey and beyond. I feel I have a greater understanding of my “why,” or the reasons and motives behind my actions and values. I am looking forward to participating in Moreau in the second half of the semester so I can continue to self-reflect and discover more about myself. https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story