Integration 2 Constant Growth in the Midst of Constant Change This semester, I have begun to reflect upon my recent growth and development as a result of college. There is a big shift between high school and college in many ways--for me it included sports, friendships, morals, routines, and family. All these changes in such dominant areas of my life have led to a change in my personality and mindset. I often find myself questioning how I am handling situations, whether or not I made the right decision, and how to use my time in the most fulfilling and effective way. These are only a few of the many questions that have occupied my mind and urged me to reevaluate my transition to college. I have found that more often than not, people tend to go through life and forget to take time to pause and relax, especially when life feels like it is moving very fast. Countless people told me my time at college would fly, but it was not until recently that I took a step back and let it sink in that we are already halfway through freshman year--an eighth of my college experience already completed. During this time, I have experienced many moments of anxiety and stress about completing my work, whether or not I have enough time, and even about when I will be able to get some sleep. In the Week 9 QQC, I selected a quote that serves me as a valuable reminder that everything will work out just fine, “Give yourself time to adjust” (“Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week Nine). Sometimes I feel as if I am racing against the clock, but in reality there is more than enough time, it’s just a matter of using time wisely and in the most fulfilling way. I now know that I do not need to stress about checking boxes and rushing to fit everything in, but I can allow myself to take my time and enjoy living in the moment. I have finally started to move on from my old mindset of “just wait until the weekend”, and realized that the rest of my week can also include relaxation time as well. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html One important question that has been on the forefront of my mind lately has been: “Is this all worth it?”. As we get closer to finals, I find myself growing increasingly stressed but have noticed my friends attending different universities seem to be as relaxed as ever. I do my best to remind myself that everyone has their stressors and it is all a matter of dedication and time management. This mindset has led me to find a deeper value in the work I complete and the time I spend working on homework--there is a larger end goal. In addition, the growing amount of work has led me to find a deeper value in my relationships with friends and family. In highschool, I had much more time in general and despite that I was typically around my friends and family all day. Now that I am away at college, I have grown increasingly appreciative of the relationships I have fostered and realize I must continue to put effort into those relationships to maintain the joy and happiness that they provide. When learning about Catholic social teaching and kintsugi in Week 10 I found the quote “The good, the bad, the ugly--all of that; it has made them this beautiful, dynamic, interesting person that they are today” to be very applicable to my life (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” by Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Ten). It is often hard to have a true appreciation for something until you have a challenging experience or contrasting experience that enables you to find greater value. Every time I feel overwhelmed, homesick, or friendsick, I come out of the other side with a stronger sense of appreciation towards those relationships. You can find a greater good on the other side of struggles; they only make a person stronger. During that week of Moreau, I was able to shift my mindset and admit that there is some good in the midst of the bad, since the bad can turn into valuable life lessons, feelings of regret that can incite people to take actions they were once afraid to, and a way to highlight the good. https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/ One of the biggest things I have questioned over the past semester, is my close mindedness and opinionated personality. I was somewhat sheltered in high school, in the sense that I was surrounded by very like minded people, which has created a sharp contrast with my experiences here at Notre Dame. I can admit that many ideas that once seemed very black and white to me, now seem to have new dimensions and aspects that I had never even thought about. I considered myself to be an open person until facing the variety of opinions and ideas here at college. For example, during Week 11 of Moreau, we watched a video that stated “The United States is one of the most segregated places on the planet”(“Diversity Matters!" by Professor Agustin Fuent - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This comment shocked me since I had always considered the United States of America to be a melting pot of races, cultures, and individuals in general. My previous idea can now be considered ignorant, which is why I have started to be more open minded and attentive to differing views and ideas that contrast my previous beliefs. I have found that some of the most educational experiences come from situations in which I end up being wrong or something is presented to me that I had never even begun to consider. All in all, diversity and differences help lead to greater knowledge and a better understanding of the ways of the world. One area I have struggled with this semester has been my faith. I am firm in my belief in God, but I sometimes find myself questioning different components of Catholicism and taking my religion for granted. At home I was used to the routine of weekly mass and prayer being incorporated into my daily school routine. Now at college, I am independent and must do these things on my own. I have begun to push my faith to the back of my mind, as though it is necessary in order to make room for my academics. Classes like Moreau and surrounding myself with faithful friends have helped me get out of this mindset and help push me to be more https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 active in my faith. During Week 12, we read Moreau’s commentary and some of it stuck out to me since it related to the balance of faith and academics. He believed academics should aid theology, so I am trying to use his mindset to remind me of what is truly important. The end goal is not one of academic origins, but of faith. I am still trying to work my way back to the point in which I started college, and develop a relationship with my faith that is entirely on my own terms--not my parents or my schools, but commentary like Moreau’s helps stabilize me in my faith. It proves that there does not have to be a separation between faith and academics but they can both be important aspects of my life, without having to give up parts of one to make room for the other. All in all, I have often questioned the changing components of my life in the past months but it has resulted in the development of my own ideas of importance and values.