Li 1 Anthony Polotto Moreau First Year Experience 19 November 2021 Difficulty and Development: The Notre Dame Experience Asking people for advice in a tricky situation is perhaps the easiest way to demonstrate how everyone reacts to situations differently. Everyone has their own reasons for giving certain advice, and nobody is ever explicitly right or wrong; the “correct” answer often never exists. Each person’s unique worldview and knowledge differs, so it’s natural that their responses would differ as well. Similarly, spending the past few months as a college freshman has led to a lot of unique experiences and personal development. Through my experience so far at Notre Dame, I’ve encountered loneliness, community, and struggles that I had never been exposed to anywhere else before. While not all these experiences have been pleasant ones, they’ve helped me develop my character by realizing that even during times of struggle or loneliness, there are ways to overcome these obstacles. One of the most noticeable experiences that I’ve encountered in the last few months was an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Even though I’m constantly surrounded by people in the dorm, classes, clubs, and on campus, something felt…off. Suddenly leaving behind a close group of friends and family had a very noticeable effect. While I didn’t expect to immediately gain close friends and form unbreakable bonds within the first few weeks of coming to college, the feeling of loneliness was a strange experience. However, I think I slowly started to realize that I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. Although some people found others that clicked with them and started to have a tight-knit group within the first few weeks, I realized that similarly to me, a Li 2 lot of people didn’t. Just like me, most people had a transition period where they had to branch out and figure out who they did and didn’t want to form close relationships with. However, it was really Moreau that made me realize that I had to stop blaming myself for not immediately feeling this sense of inclusion, as one of the articles said, “Loneliness is too often paired with self-blame and self-criticism: ‘I can’t find my place among these people, so it must be my fault’” (“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann – Moreau FYE Week Nine). This article really demonstrated to me that it wasn’t entirely my fault for feeling this way. Over time, I have started to find people to be friends with and started joining a few groups as well. I think this experience was (and still is) important to my personal development because it made me learn that I won’t always immediately fit in at a new place. It takes time, and I shouldn’t panic or blame myself during this transitional period. Another thing I heavily encountered in the last few months was this overwhelming sense of community. My dorm (Keenan) and my RA (Nick) are constantly trying to get people to show up at section events and dorm events. Although some events are vastly more successful than others, it’s a weird feeling to feel such a strong sense of community within the dorms. It’s not just Keenan as well, it’s every dorm on campus (or at least that’s the feeling I got from talking to people from different dorms). I think this experience has taught me that it’s important to be inclusive of everyone, even if there are people within the community that don’t get along with each other. An article from week eleven claims, “The concept of community must embrace even those we perceive as ‘enemy’” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This demonstrates that people must be inclusive of one another even if they don’t particularly like each other. If the community only includes the ingroup, then it becomes an echo chamber where there’s no diversity of opinions or people. If people are Li 3 excluded, it leads to hatred, and as Fr. John Jenkins has said before, “Hatred is more dangerous to us than any other threat, because it attacks the immune system of our society — our ability to see danger, come together and take action” (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” by Fr. John Jenkins, C.S.C. – Moreau FYE Week Ten). The experience of community at Notre Dame has taught me that it’s important to embrace everyone of differing backgrounds, opinions, and viewpoints even if I don’t agree with them. It’s only through disagreement that each side can understand each other and learn from one another. However, the transition to college life hasn’t been all fun and games. A lot has been rough. Learning to balance academics, extracurriculars, and social life has been a huge struggle. Adjusting to a new environment, schedule, and the comfort of home life has been a transition that has come with its difficulties. Plus, the aforementioned loneliness was definitely a struggle as well. However, overcoming these obstacles and learning to get past them has made me develop resiliency and adaptability. As C.S. Lewis said, “It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be” (“The Screwtape Letters” Chapter 8 by C.S. Lewis – Moreau FYE Week Twelve). I completely agree with Lewis, as it’s only during times of difficulty that people can grow and develop their character. If life had no difficulties and no struggles, then we would never change. By struggling at Notre Dame and learning to adapt to a new life, I have learned to be more adaptable and resilient to changes and obstacles that may come my way. Although overall I’ve enjoyed my time here so far at Notre Dame, I would be lying if I said it’s been all fun and games. Although the football games and section events have been a blast, the other parts of college have taken time to adjust to. The feeling of loneliness at the beginning of the semester that still rears its head occasionally, balancing academics, social life, Li 4 and extracurriculars, and adjusting to life away from home has come with its fair share of obstacles. However, I think that these difficulties have allowed me to grow as a person and develop a stronger sense of resiliency and adaptability. I truly believe that these experiences will play a vital role into shaping me into a better person, and I have no doubts that that next couple of years here at Notre Dame will continue challenging me in unimaginable ways. However, that’s exactly what I signed up for and look forward to how these experiences will continue shaping me in the future.