Week 13 - Integration


The College Experience: Faith, Hope, and Community

From my time at Notre Dame, I have learned that self-doubt poses the greatest challenge
to personal, social and academic success. Self-doubt can happen in moments of failure and in
moments of success; while our moments of self-doubt can bring feelings of unworthiness and
incompetence, they can also bring moments of self discovery. In the moments where I feel the
highest level of stress, I feel more likely to doubt myself. For example, I had the unfortunate
pleasure of taking two exams within the same week; the days leading up to both exams I felt that
I was incapable of doing well on either of them. Even worse, I felt that I simply did not belong at
Notre Dame; I think it is easy to forget that everyone has moments of self-doubt and has feelings
of unworthiness. A Ted Talk calls this phenomenon “pluralistic ignorance” and describes it as a
common feeling “where we each doubt ourselves privately” (“What is imposter syndrome and
how can you combat it?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week IX). Overcoming self-doubt
poses the greatest mental challenge, but it is a challenge that we do not have to face alone. In the
week where I felt the great feelings of self-doubt, I sought the support of my peers; I learned that
I am far from alone in possessing these feelings, and that it is normal to possess them. I think that
when we feel alone or isolated in our experiences it allows self-doubt to further permeate and
diminish our confidence. While overcoming self-doubt depends on our mental dexterity, it does
not have to be a challenge entirely faced alone. I know I may never rid all feelings of self-doubt,
but it does not mean I am any less capable of achieving my goals; in the future, I hope that I can
continue to foster self-confidence, and help others within the Notre Dame community feel
worthy through their failures and successes.

While Notre Dame largely possesses a welcoming community, there have been moments
where it exhibits hostile and unfriendly behavior, specifically towards the Saint Mary’s
community. Witnessing the online harassment of the Saint Mary’s community highlighted
problems of disconnectedness. The Notre Dame community is by no means a perfect one,
however it is inexcusable to regress into a state of disconnectedness and animosity. In order to
grow internally as a community, we must possess a respectful, and accepting attitude towards
external communities. I think that in hostile situations (especially in the case of Saint Mary’s
harassment) the fracturing and brokenness of a community can be witnessed. Every community
possesses their own moments of brokenness. It is after these moments of brokenness are exposed
that matters; the response to brokenness ultimately determines the future of community. To
combat brokenness, means to combat the hatred within ourselves; in the words of Father John
Jenkins, hatred is “ready to rise in disguise inside of us, posing as virtue, sowing destruction”
(“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” by Father John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week
X). Becoming mute to the hidden hatred within ourselves stifles the opportunity to grow in
devotion, to grow in respect, to grow in love. Every day there is a common struggle within all of
us to resist the malice in our own hearts; fighting with love in hopes to produce an everlasting
community. We must be connected with ourselves before we can fully connect with others;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo
https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/


community is not something “to be achieved, but a gift to be received” (“Thirteen Ways of
Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week XI). We must individually
evaluate ourselves, rather than evaluate other people; if we want to receive a community filled
with compassion and empathy, we must be willing to effectively change our hearts. I think some
of the Notre Dame community members, especially those who participated in the harassment
towards the Saint Mary’s community, forget how important the Saint Mary’s community is to
Notre Dame. From this experience, I learned that sometimes the best way to help a community is
by evaluating how we can improve ourselves, before we try to improve others; I also think that in
order to fight animosity, we need to act with kindness and selflessness. To become an overall
better community, we must be willing to resist our internal hatred, and harness love to foster
progress. In the future, I hope that me as well as other Notre Dame, and tri-community members
will have the courage and will to resist the hatred within all of us, and respect one another.

As I progress towards completing my first semester at Notre Dame, I have relied on hope
and faith to guide me through both stressful and calm times. In instances where I become
frustrated with my academic life, I try to take time to self-evaluate the position I find myself in.
Sometimes I get so carried away with striving to achieve academic success that I forget the real
importance of receiving an education, especially a Notre Dame education. During the semester, I
found that writing a specific essay for one of my classes was especially frustrating; I put so much
pressure on myself to write well that I became consumed with achieving perfection. In these
moments where I heavily chase academic success instead of academic growth, I fail myself.
Education is meant to in part learn, however the other part is to ignite passion. As Campus
Ministry describes it, the purpose of education is ultimately to “enkindle within students a
burning desire to act boldly” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Campus Ministry at the
University of Notre Dame - Moreau FYE Week XII). Part of the Notre Dame education is hope,
and faith; an education is meant to help us progress society, but how can we expect to progress
society if we do not have faith in ourselves or hope for the future? When we look beyond the
present and into the future, we define a goal to achieve, and within these goals we
subconsciously hope that the effort we put in can achieve them. Hope and faith ultimately spark
passion, and inadvertently bring the most rewarding success. When I focus on the good I can do
for people with an education, my perspective on education changes; I want to receive an
education not only to personally succeed, but to help others succeed. I think by continuing to
maintain hope and faith within my education I can become truly fulfilled in life. Just as hope and
faith guide me today, I hope that they can guide me tomorrow and the days beyond.

http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/
http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/
http://downloads/Holy%20Cross%20and%20Christian%20Education%20(1).pdf