Association of Mexican-American Educators (AMAE) Special Issue ©2014  Volume 8, Issue 1 114

“Don’t Tell Me: Ask Me!”
An Engaged Latina Mother’s Voice

Lilian Cibils
New Mexico State University

Don’t tell me
what language I must

speak!

Don’t tell me
who I must

be!

Don’t tell me how to
become

a better parent to
my kids!

What will you tell us
next?

Who or what or where
or even in what language

we should worship—if at all?

Don’t tell me!
Ask me, instead!

What language do I
love

my children
in?

What is the color of
my dreams

when I imagine
a future

for my kids?

Which one is our 
       sweetest
       shortest 

 bedtime story?
           Or, is our favorite 

     road song 
always playing on resume?

Don’t Tell Me: Ask Me



Association of Mexican-American Educators (AMAE) Special Issue ©2014  Volume 8, Issue 1 115

Who are we?
Who am I? And who

my children?
you may ask.

But please stop telling us
who it is

you would rather
see

instead of them and me!

Why not ask of us what 
Latin rhythms
reverberate

at the bottom
of our heartbeat?

What dichos and consejos
can we share

with you and you
with me?

Don’t tell us who
we are supposed to be!

Ask us
who we really are

who our parents were
and who our children
dream of growing up

to be!

Let us be ourselves!
and together

we may grow to
know each other

listen to each other’s 
voices

and respect each other’s 
choices!

Love our children
for who they are

and for who they can
and will become –only
with our joint work
our mutual respect

and our dignity!

Don’t Tell Me: Ask Me



Association of Mexican-American Educators (AMAE) Special Issue ©2014  Volume 8, Issue 1 116

Don’t tell us who we
must be!

Don’t tell me how
to be a parent!
Let me be me!

Be not-you
but me!

Don’t tell me what
language I must speak

at home
or how to sooth my children

with an unfamiliar
lullaby!

The honey in our voices
And the music in

our home language(s)—mind our choices!
hold all the magic

we may need
for them to fall
sound asleep!

Don’t tell me
to become you

Or a better me—and here
con mucho respeto, Gloria,

I paraphrase—
For, me-without-my-language(s)

Is not-me!
It is no-body!

Don’t tell me who to be!

Ask me who I am
and be ready
to respect

our language choices
our rich 

distinctive voices
and

our children’s unique selves
and history!

Don’t Tell Me: Ask Me


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