
































Trauma behind Closed Doors inWhile Men Slept

Adaobi Ihueze

Abstract

Women have had traumatic experiences at the hands of domineering males, whose views and
attitudes are shaped by society's patriarchal customs and beliefs. These cruel practices frequently
left the victim bruised and terrified. This study examines the notion of betrayal trauma theory by
Jennifer Freuyd in Gloria Ogo's While Men Slept in assessing the symptoms of this sort of
trauma in the text and their impact on the protagonist. It was observed from the analysis that
social ideals encourage activities that demean and traumatize women. It then concludes that
women should not be intimidated, but rather stay strong, and not droop under the weight of the
painful experience. There is also a need for women's education and mental freedom so that they
can break free from the patriarchal rule in certain areas due to the economic empowerment
education provides. The study recommends that more female writers should get involved in
revealing events that leave indelible physical and mental scars on women.

Keywords: Trauma, Betrayal Trauma, Romantic trauma, patriarchal, abuse relationship

Introduction

The restlessness of African women today, as well as their skepticism about their status in society
is direct repercussions of years of oppression. This is shown in the patriarchal burden, which
favours male children over female offspring, since she must be married off. The marital system
is not a partnership, but rather an unequal relationship in which the wife is under pressure to
prove herself by bearing children, particularly male offspring. A wife loses her identity, and
when she becomes a mother, her power and prestige are reflected in her offspring, but if she only
has female children or none at all, she loses any real standing. Gender influences how women are
treated and also dictates the treatment. Women suffer as captives to culture, tradition, and
patriarchy at the hands of males. This novel depicts women's brutalized predicament at the hands
of males.

To this end, the man becomes a lord, dominating, oppressing, degrading, and dehumanizing the
woman. The resultant effect of these patriarchal notions that encourage man’s inhuman actions
against the woman is pain; a deep searing pain that transcends the physical. This pain is usually
heartfelt, emotional, and psychological: a trauma of sorts.



Michelle Balaev defines trauma as ‘a person’s emotional response to an overwhelming
event . . .that disrupts previous ideas of an individual’s sense of self and the standards by which
one evaluates society’ (149). She further identifies an important characteristic of trauma as, “the
transformation of the self, ignited by an external, often terrifying experience, which illuminates
the process of coming to terms with the dynamics of memory that informs the new perceptions of
the self and the world” (149). By this, Balaev seems to acknowledge that trauma is a painful and
horrifying experience that leaves in its victims afterward a sense of new awareness of self,
perception in the world around her, and due to this, reactions to these episodes of trauma may
vary.

Critical Analysis

This paper relies on a particular type of trauma called Betrayal trauma theory.

The word Betrayal trauma was coined in the 1990s by psychologist Jennifer Freuyd to describe
what occurs when the people or institutions on which a person depends for survival significantly
violate that person’s trust. (Freyd 76) This betrayal trauma happens in Romantic relationships of
mostly husband and wife and can often be seen as infidelity in marriage. Michele Scheinkman
writes that “When evaluating betrayal trauma in romantic relationships, earlier literature focused
on the impact of infidelity in monogamous relationships. Within this context, the betrayal is
present in the relationship as a breach of an unspoken agreement” (18). Betrayal trauma in the
novel depicts how betrayal can destroy the victim’s self-identity and relationship with others.

This paper reflects the brutalized plight of women in the hands of men. They suffer in their
hands as slaves to culture, tradition, and patriarchy because it projects that a male child sustains
the name of a family. This abuse, as a result, triggers off emotional distress where the victims
might experience lingering trauma when someone they depend on to respect their needs and
generally help safeguard their well-being violates the trust they have placed in them.

While Men Slept tells the story of Uloma, a young lady who was deceived and discarded by
society because she was unable to bear a male child. It took place before, during, and after the
Nigerian Civil War. In the narrative, Uloma, a young and attractive girl, married Ikemba, and,
sadly for her, she was unable to have a male child but had three female children. Her spouse was
so bitter and ill-treated her that she lost her self-esteem. She continued to strive to please him and
regain his devotion but to no effect. She died on the ground after giving birth to her long-desired
son, where she had been beaten senseless. She gave birth to a baby boy but did not live to see
him grow up.

When an individual is betrayed, they suffer from different symptoms such as anger, severe lack
of trust, including difficulty trusting others and oneself, depression, irregular eating, poor sleep
habits, repression, constant reminders of triggering incidents, guilt, restlessness, emotional
dysregulation, self-doubt, self-harm and many more emotional issues.



When a person is deceived by a loved one, such as Uloma, they may exhibit symptoms such as a
profound loss of trust, including trouble trusting others and oneself. This is obvious in Uloma's
attitude toward everyone around her; she is skeptical of everyone, including her mother-in-law,
who has been so kind to her.The deceived victim is filled with rage and self-doubt. She is
irritated by everything around her, especially herself. She is continuously self-conscious about
her inability to bear a male child for her husband. She considers herself a failure.

The unequal division of power among traditional and occasionally modern African marriages
fosters betrayal pain and has also allowed the consequence of male promiscuity and rampant
wife abuse. In While Men Slept, Ikemba took another lady into their marital home while
depriving his wife, Uloma, of affection for failing to bear a male child. Thus, Unoma complains
bitterly,

Six moons have passed, she still waited, but he had not sent for her. The chill of his old
indifference seemed to heighten with each day. . . thoughts of his new mistress, keeping Ikemba
amused and his bed warm, kept her awake…the laughter that had woken her, rang out again in a
ghostlike howl, she cringed, burying her face into the lumpy pillow. She thrust a fist into her
mouth and muffed a scream. (19-20)

The experience was too painful, it kept her restless, gave her sleepless nights all because she was
producing female children only. Helen Chukwuma states that “the female character in African
fiction hitherto, is a facile lackluster human being, the quiet member of a household, content only
to bear children, unfulfilled if she does not and handicapped if she bears only daughters”
(215).Most African women were not given the chance to contribute to decision-making in their
households as daughters, wives, and mothers, even when the decisions directly affected them.
Women were frequently engaged to spouses without their permission. In While Men Slept,
Kasiobi was promised to Agummuo, the local chief priest, who was old enough to be her
grandpa, and her mother said nothing.

Once the woman is not able to sustain their husband’s lineage by bearing sons, she has failed in
striving for the success of her marriage and to maintain her husband’s affections. Uloma failed
by giving birth to female children and as a result, she suffered humiliation, intimidation, neglect,
brutality, and disgrace from her husband. For Uloma, “it was too dark outside to make out this
woman who shared her husband’s bed. She clenched the wooden sills of her window, feeling
something wilt inside her” (20). This has made Uloma withdraw from her association with other
women which led to them not reaching out to help her.

Hence,

Everything had changed. The charade to keep up a front, that things were as they ought to be,
exerted Uloma. The pretense eventually took its toll and birthed the beginning of her reclusive
existence. The insidious withdrawal had crept stealthily upon her. It started with declining



women who offered to have her plait their hair and hers plaited in return. Then blossomed into
putting off a visit for the next day, defer it to the next moon. . .

As days went by, the silent demeanor, tinged with shy aloofness, was constructed for snobbery
and no one bothered to reach out anymore. (4)

She grew estranged from everyone, and no one understood her predicament. A woman is
expected to withstand the anguish imposed by her husband, and no one is ready to assist her. The
majority of current research on betrayal trauma theory in romantic relationships has focused on
the inclusion of domestic violence. Domestic violence involves a betrayal of trust when one
partner is repeatedly beaten, degraded, and violated, and has been linked to deep feelings of
shame and anxiety in the victim, particularly when the victim remains with or returns to the
abuser, does not report the abuse, or underreports the severity of on-going abuse, all of which
have been linked to deep feelings of shame and anxiety in the victim. Uloma continued to be
abused by her husband without protest.

Uloma was beaten and harassed at the slightest provocation by Ikemba. She called him one day
and said, “Dim”(172) and Ikemba looked at her before replying,

“he glanced at her as if disturbed by an offending fly, gave a long hiss, and took an angry bite of
his corn.

“Useless woman” he erupted when she drew nearer.

“Just one son, you cannot give to me. The day you say my name again, it will be the last word
you would utter Rubbish (172)

Uloma begged,

“Please tell me this unforgivable wrong of mine of which I am unaware”. (173)

Uloma has been degraded to the point of embracing the potential of future betrayals, as
evidenced by this exchange. Her condition had deteriorated to the point that it had harmed her
self-esteem, emotional well-being, and capacity to form bonds with others; she had become
lonely in the midst of others and refused to share her difficulties.

The community and the institution failed to protect her since they might have aided her while her
husband was assaulting her, but they deceived her and she remained in the relationship. The
effects of betrayal trauma are sometimes exacerbated by the fact that the person who was
wounded may be required to remain in the abusive relationship, which is contrary to their natural
response to betrayal, which is to move away from the person who betrayed them. However,
when the person relies on someone to supply specific demands, this reaction is impractical. It is a
unique trauma that occurs in critical social connections when the betrayed person needs to keep a



relationship with the betrayer for support or safety, according to Freud. Ulomaremains in the
relationship despite all she is going through at the hands of her husband, Ikemba, because she is
afraid of the potential ramifications of admitting the betrayal. This is because, in the perspective
of society, she is a failure for not providing what the community values - a male child. Even
though Uloma is financially reliant on her husband, she has a greater need to disconnect
experiences from conscious awareness to sustain their relationship. As a result, she frequently
hides the pain of abuse and betrayal by removing the knowledge of the abuse and betrayal from
consciousness and memory.

However, while Funanya was abusing Ofufe, her husband, the kinsmen came to his aid. They did
not attempt to assist Uloma since she deserves what she is experiencing for not delivering her
husband a male child. At this, Helen Chukwuma writes that, the husband always has the upper
hand in disputes and a woman who fought back against her husband was viewed as “he”woman,
possibly a monster. It wasn’t that he was physically stronger than her; rather, a woman should
always be obedient to men and never attempt to defend herself against their assaults. When her
spouse abuses her, a nice woman shouldn’t even scream out loud.

Conclusion

Even now, women see marriage and having children as their highest desire. Even educated,
contemporary, and wealthy urban women are observed wanting to adhere to their home culture,
which connects them to their rural counterparts, who are often traditional, impoverished, and
illiterate. They all fall to the African reality that marriage is not established on partnership and
that the woman is tested on fertility as well as having children of the appropriate gender, which is
the preference of male to female offspring. There is need for women's education and mental
freedom so that they can break free from the patriarchal rule in certain areas due to the economic
empowerment education provides. As a result, women's education and economic viability are
highlighted as a way of repositioning women. Women should be aware that their identity inside
marriage should not be static, but rather a territory through which they may reconstruct a new
identity; a fellowship in which they can find strength among their kind.



Works Cited

Balaev, Michelle. ‘Literary Trauma Theory Reconsidered’. Contemporary Approaches in
Literary Trauma Theory. Ed. Michelle Balaev.Macmillian, 2014. Print.

Chukwuma Helen. ‘Voices and Choices: The Feminist Dilemma in Four African Novels.”

Feminism in African Literature: Essays in Criticism. In Helen Chukwuma
(Ed).Enugu:New Creation Books,(160).1994. Print.

Freuyd, Jennifer. “Betrayal Trauma.”Encyclopedia of Psychological Trauma.In G, Reyes, J.D.

Elhai and J.D. Ford (Eds). New York: John Willey and Sons, (76). 2008. Print.

Ogo, Gloria. While Men Slept. Lagos: Farafina Books. 2018. Print.

Scheinkman, Michele. “Beyond the Trauma of Betrayal: reconsidering affairs in Couples

Therapy.”Family Process. 44(2): 227-244. 2005. Print.


