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Managing Alone: Single Parenthood and Silver Linings in the 
Time of COVID-19  

Martha Toscano Joya 
Department of Sociology 

 California State University, Los Angeles 
 
INTRODUCTION 

The COVID-19 pandemic has taken the world by storm. It 
has been a hundred years since a pandemic of this scale – of 
devastation and interference – has struck the global community 
with expansive social, economic, political, and cultural 
ramifications. Despite the medical and technological 
advancements of our time, the COVID-19 pandemic has 
immobilized modern society in unprecedented ways. There was 
no viable cure when it first struck, healthcare systems were on the 
brink of exhaustion, death toll skyrocketed, widespread closures 
amassed, and supply-chain scarcities marked the first months of 
the pandemic. We are still grappling with the implications of this 
moment in history. 

My study focuses on the implications of the pandemic on 
single parents, arguably an understudied demographic group. My 
findings, based on 5 in-depth interviews with single parents 
suggest that the pandemic has been a double-edged sword – on the 
one hand, it has pushed single parents to the brink as they juggled 
rigorous parenting duties while shouldering work responsibilities. 
Yet, surprisingly on the other hand, single parents also found 
priceless moments of time that brought forth joy in those 
uninterrupted moments spent together with their children. The 
government’s assistance schemes (e.g., expanding EBT, rent 
moratorium, hot school packed lunches) that were put into effect 
in the first months of the pandemic sustained them through the 
worst forms of precarity. 

This study, based on a feminist lens, contributes to the 
sociological scholarship on families in significant ways as it 
examines the micro-dynamics of everyday life in single-parent 
households during an unprecedented global crisis. The 
demographic group (single parents in California) as well as the 
context (COVID-19 pandemic) lend sociological credence to this 
article for several interrelated reasons. First, the U.S. has the 



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highest rates of single parent households in the world (Kramer 
2019) wherein a quarter of U.S. children under the age of 18 live 
with one parent. Additionally, women outnumber men as single 
parents. A Pew study estimates that 9% of women between the 
ages of 35-59 years live as single parents (Kramer 2019); this is 
four times the rate at which men of the same group live as single 
parents. Yet, even as studies depicting everyday lives between 
families and children are emerging, they disproportionately focus 
on two-parent households. 

Second, existing sociological scholarship on families has 
shown that single parents often create and rely on a network of 
extended kin and community (that includes friends and neighbors) 
to augment everyday needs of childcare. Brewster and Padavic 
(2002) found that, “Mothers with fewer social and economic 
resources of their own—those who were single, less educated, or 
very young—were significantly more likely than other mothers to 
use relatives for childcare.” The pandemic often closed these 
communities off limiting the very support and childcare that single 
parents once relied on. Given these circumstances, it becomes 
necessary to investigate the challenges experienced by single 
parents at this historic juncture. In addition to contributing to the 
sociological literature on families, this study fills the gap in 
mainstream news reporting on families which overwhelmingly 
depicts stereotypical family arrangements –comprising of two 
parents and children living in a household. My long-term hope for 
this study is that in the future it will generate awareness and 
provide insights for social policies related to single parents in 
times of crises and otherwise. 
 
CONTEXT 

“COVID-19 was first reported in Wuhan, China, in 
December 2019, and rapidly spread to all parts of the globe, 
earning the title of a pandemic and changing the modus operandi 
of all segments of society” (Almeida, et.al 2020). While the world 
remained unaware, patients with cases of severe pneumonia or 
upper respiratory illness began presenting themselves at the 
hospitals in Wuhan, China. By the end of the month, the world 
confronted a highly infectious variant of coronavirus that was 
impacting Wuhan, China. “The outbreak of SARS-CoV-2 was 



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considered to have originally started via a zoonotic transmission 
associated with the seafood market in Wuhan, China. Later it was 
recognized that human to human transmission played a major role 
in the subsequent outbreak” (Yuki, Fujiogi and Koutsogiannaki 
2020).  

Within two months, on January 31, 2020, the World Health 
Organization (WHO) announced a global health emergency. Soon 
thereafter, WHO, declared the novel coronavirus as a pandemic 
setting the stage for sweeping changes all over the world. As of 
May 2022, 6,210,719 people had succumbed to the virus. The 
United States reported, “COVID-19 has been impacting many 
people worldwide, being reported in approximately 200 countries 
and territories. As of April 7th, 2020, around 1,400,000 cases 
worldwide have been reported according to the Center for 
Systems Science and Engineering (CSSE) at Johns Hopkins 
University” (Yuki, Fujiogi and Koutsogiannaki 2020). 

This wasn’t the first time where humans experienced a 
pandemic, and it won’t be the last. The Spanish Flu of 1918 is 
often compared with the COVID-19 pandemic for the extent of 
disruptions that it caused. According to the Center for Disease 
Control (CDC) statistical data,  

The Spanish Flu of 1918, was one of the deadliest 
outbreaks in the last century. It is estimated that 
about 500 million people or one-third of the 
world’s population became infected with this 
virus. The number of deaths was estimated to be 
at least 50 million worldwide with about 675,000 
occurring in the United States. 

Despite the surface similarities and high death toll, the Spanish 
Flu occurred a century ago and therefore is not a living memory 
for the majority who populate the world today. Yet, the precautions 
taken in that historical period are reminiscent of the ones that this 
current pandemic brought forth (such as closures of businesses 
and schools as well as social distancing protocols).  

In March 2020, our whole world changed overnight. The 
COVID-19 pandemic manifested in ways that were unforeseen 
and unpredicted. Many countries shut down their daily operations; 
businesses, schools, recreation, and all other places that were 
deemed “non-essential” were shut down. Supply chain disruptions 



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caused further panic. The fear of running out of an essential 
product led to excessive hoarding where stores couldn’t fulfill the 
needs of the public.  

As consumers play a key role in food supply 
chain, changes in consumer behavior strongly 
affected the food supply chain. COVID-19 
outbreak caused a significant rise in food price 
related to lockdown restrictions accompanied by 
panic buying, as well as supply chain disruptions. 
(Aday and Aday 2020) 

There was a unique and unforeseen phase in the pandemic where 
people were hoarding toilet paper. For a long period of time, 
disinfectants, hand sanitizers, disposable cloths, masks, gloves, 
and even baking yeast among other items were unavailable and if 
they were–only one per customer could be purchased. Food items 
also became scarce on the shelves. In the early days of the first 
shutdown, The New York Times (2020) reported, “They grabbed 
milk and aspirin, paper towels and spaghetti. Cans of soup and 
bottles of laundry detergent. Olive oil and sanitizing wipes. With 
futures suddenly thrust into the unknown, they did what felt 
reassuring: panic shop.” Consumers experienced long wait times 
to purchase goods, which wound around parking lots. Banker 
(2021) wrote, “during the early months of the pandemic, demand 
planning error jumped to 59%, up 14% from the pre-pandemic 
error rate of 45% as companies could not accurately forecast 
demand in this unprecedented time.” Many compared the lack of 
food and goods to the Great Depression of 1929. 

In the United States, the first state to experience full 
shutdown was California and this occurred in March. 19, 2020–
making the Californian population remain at home due to this 
mandate. It is in this social context of elevated fear, scarcities, and 
social distancing that single parents found themselves “managing 
alone” while balancing childcare with work. 
 
LITERATURE REVIEW 
Scholarship on Single Parenthood (Pre-COVID) 

Single parents refer to a parent – a mother or a father - living 
without a co-parent and with their dependent children. 
Circumstances that bring on single parenting can be due to 



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separation, death, divorce. With the growth of reproductive 
technologies (IVF, surrogacy etc.) women have also made the 
choice to have children regardless of being in a relationship. “In 
the US, there are more than 11 million single-parent families with 
young children that are younger than 18-years-old. Single moms 
make up just over 80% of single-parent homes” (Pace 2021). 

Mother-only families have become increasingly 
common during the past three decades.' Whereas 
in 1960 only about 9% of families with children 
in the United States were headed by nonmarried 
women, by 1985 the number was over 2007 (U.S. 
Bureau of the Census, 1960, 1961, 1988). 
(McLanahan and Booth 1989) 

While a taboo in the past, as compared to today, being a 
single parent is becoming more common. This is in part due to the 
women’s rights movement and the sexual revolution that 
introduced sweeping changes in society. However, scholarship 
shows that “individuals serving as a single parent for their family 
may experience more stressors than those who co- parent their 
family including poor finances, reduced social support, and 
higher rates of depression” (Cairney, Boyle, Offord, & Racine 
2003). 

The first challenge is the absence of the other parent to share 
in parenting and childcare. Raising children can be quite stressful, 
even if it is a meaningful responsibility, and stressors multiply 
when one is forced to manage them alone. Factors that contribute 
to chronic stress and mental health issues among single mothers 
are numerous and include a lack of financial resources, challenges 
with job stability, issues with health insurance, stress in the home, 
and increased instances of experiencing or witnessing domestic 
violence (Broussard 2010).  

The second challenge are finances; scholarship shows 
occupation sex segregation and gendered differentials in income 
and wealth coupled exposes the financial fragility that households 
with single mother’s experience (as noted before, 80% of single 
parents are women). Pressman (2003) argues the complication 
that holds with having a lone earner is that they become vulnerable 
to financial shifts, various obstacles such as being laid off from 
work, getting sick, getting reduced hours due to an economics low 



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down. Previous research (Augustijn 2022) has repeatedly shown 
that separation or divorce can lead to a substantial decline in 
economic resources, and that it is mostly mothers who suffer from 
the severe economic consequences. 

Thus, the household is more than likely to wind up in 
poverty due to these circumstances. The emotional strain of 
struggling with finances takes further toll on the family (Kotwal 
and Prabhakar 2009). Though there is public assistance it should 
be noted that it is hard to come by, public benefits can be denied, 
and there are delayed wait times in receiving the actual assistance. 
As a result, many single parents also deal with poverty and food 
insecurity.  

Food insecurity, broadly defined by the U.S. 
Department of Agriculture (USDA) as a lack of 
“enough food for an active, healthy life for all 
household members,” generally rises and falls 
with changes in the economy but has fluctuated 
between 10 percent and 15 percent since the 
USDA began tracking it in the early 1990s.” 
(Coleman-Jensen et al. 2020) 

Food insecurity amongst single parent households is 
already a challenge due to it being a single income household. On 
the downside, parents may also have to navigate an unhealthy 
relationship with the other parent. This relationship might 
manifest onto the child(ren) as well and can create a hostile 
environment where the child(ren) finds it hard to “choose” 
between parents due to their own parents' strained relationship and 
so forth. The relationship amongst parents may be strained due to 
previous physical and emotional domestic abuse and there may be 
certain restrictions set in place by a high level of authority–such 
as a court order. The other parent may have a court order that 
restricts them from seeing their child(ren) and can place another 
added challenge that the family may experience. On the upside, 
there are parents who work together and co-parent effectively. 
 
Challenges of Single Parenthood (COVID-19) 

The pandemic affected everyone as was often repeated in 
the media through the popular slogan, “We are all in this 
together.” However, the extent may have varied depending on 



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factors such as socioeconomic status, gender, class, race, 
occupation, and country of residence (to name a few). As this 
paper will show, the pandemic has brought forth a new set of 
challenges for single parents. It affected each corner of their lives 
and continues to impact them negatively and, in some cases, 
positively. In the following paragraphs, I detail the nascent 
literature that has described the many ways in which the pandemic 
has affected single parents and the new set of challenges and 
hardships that they have faced. 
 

Financial Hardships 
Businesses, schools, recreation, and all other places that 

were considered “non-essential” were forced to shut down. The 
shutdown placed a financial burden on employees. With having to 
stay home, many individuals were out of employment. A 
percentage of the population included single parents. The 
unexpected loss of income and not having any funds to cover 
expenses is a tremendous hardship for the family. Even before the 
pandemic, solo parents were experiencing challenges, said Juliana 
Horowitz, an associate director of research at Pew Research 
Center. She noted that Pew’s research shows a quarter of solo 
parents living in poverty; that number was even higher, 30 percent 
(Bowen 2020), for single moms. 

Vulnerable communities face significant risks in 
times of COVID-19. Communities with deeply 
entrenched poverty, overcrowded housing, and 
limited employment flexibility (e.g., communities 
where individuals are unable to work from home, 
miss a day of work, or face long and crowded 
commutes), face greater immediate risk of 
COVID-19. (Fisher et.al, 2020) 

Financial hardships such as losing a home and/or becoming 
houseless changes lives. The impact that this would have on the 
family is tremendous. Not only would the loss of a home impact 
on the family, in a physical sense, the loss of comfort of a safe 
space is removed. This would not only affect the parent but the 
child(ren) as well. Another factor in experiencing financial 
hardship is food insecurity. Not knowing where to locate 
emergency social services and/or the accessibility of food is 



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something that the parent confronts. There is often shame brought 
forth in seeking these types of services and can have the parent 
feeling a wave of helplessness that may affect the family as well. 
 

Childcare 
Another challenge that many single parents faced were 

school closures. School-aged children attending school in the 
traditional setting (in person) were restricted to staying at home 
and processing their daily schoolwork via virtual learning. Their 
mode of operation for learning was having a teacher instruct a 
classroom via the computer. Teachers and educators used 
different modes of learning, and many used the video application, 
Zoom, to communicate with students. This may or may not have 
taken a toll on the student. Considering issues regarding 
connectivity i.e., a stable internet connection, could be classified 
as a barrier to the student in effective learning.  

Another foreseen drawback is if the student may have had 
difficulty in learning in this new virtual setting as opposed to their 
usual mode of learning. The challenge here would be if the student 
could or could not thrive in this learning space and if they were 
able to manage their schoolwork. “Communication is essential for 
any task, and due to the lockdown, communication through 
technology has replaced face to face interactions. It has its own 
limitations” (Debbarma & Durai 2021). Communication is key in 
transmitting the information that is imperative in learning and 
flourishing as a student.  

The limitation with online learning is not having that 
“face to face” interaction that a student is typically used to in a 
traditional school setting. “During the lockdown, children and 
adolescents were experiencing physical isolation from their 
classmates, friends, teachers, and other important adults (e.g., 
grandparents) leading to further emotional stressors” (Luijten 
et.al, 2021). With the issue of virtual learning occurring in the 
same household environment as the parent, working from home 
also became an issue for both parties to work effectively. 
Moreover, having a parent considered an “essential” employee–
one that must work at an institution or establishment that cannot 
be shut down, can pose a concern for childcare. 
 



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Co-parenting 
The issue of co-parenting is a major concern for many 

single parents. The issues of child custody are always relevant and 
may be cumbersome for parents to deal with especially if the other 
parent is “difficult” and there may not be a harmonious agreement 
between parents. The pandemic may pose several challenges for 
co-parenting. If one parent falls ill the other parent may have to 
take on the full load of parenting due to the other quarantining and 
not being able to see the child(ren). The other factor is that the 
other parent may not even be in the picture and not have any 
responsibilities shared. An added difficulty is if there is child 
custody in place. The courthouses, being considered an essential 
establishment in the pandemic, may have only a small window of 
operating hours and/or communication was limited. Thus, 
arranging any modifications to a court order could be 
incommodious and sometimes not possible due to their 
constricting hours of operation. Considering if there was a 
violation of court order, an enforcing institution such as a police 
department, was available for the public and parents could seek 
aid if there was cause for any type of court order violation or case 
of domestic dispute amongst parents. 

Mental health children and families in the United 
States have suffered greatly throughout the 
COVID-19 pandemic. School shutdowns, 
unprecedented job loss, and the grief and loss 
related to COVID-19 deaths have highlighted the 
mental health and financial needs of parents—
particularly single parents. (Shipe, Ayer and 
Guastaferro 2022) 

The social distancing and restrictions may impede single 
parents from reaching out to others “face to face” for 
companionship and/or support. All the issues together 
pose a risk for a single parent to suffer from depression, 
anxiety, and distress.  

With so many people forced to conduct paid work 
from home—and with so many social services like 
childcare and public schools that are essential to 
people’s ability to work shut down—the 



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pandemic has stretched family to a breaking 
point. (Hertz, Mattes, Shook, 2020) 

This accumulation of these issues coming together at such a 
vulnerable time in a parent’s life can stress the family out and 
make them reach their breaking point. 
 
METHODOLOGY & DATA 
Data Collection 

This study examines 5 in-depth interviews with women 
who also identify as single parents living in California. The term 
single (alternatively, sole) parent refers to a parent who may be 
divorced, separated, widowed, single, never married, or not living 
with a partner. The study was reviewed, approved, and granted 
“exempt” status by the CSULA IRB and conducted during 
academic year 2021-22. 

To recruit participants, I posted fliers on social media sites 
(e.g., primarily through Facebook) to recruit my participants. I 
posted the flyer on Facebook in a specialized group that included 
nearby neighbors in the city of which I live in. I also posted this 
flyer on two other university school pages and lastly on a single 
parents Facebook page. The fliers contained my contact 
information so that potential participants could contact me if they 
were interested in the study. 

Over four months, I received over ten email messages from 
individuals who wanted to take part in the study. Ultimately, only 
five of the ten followed through with an interview. Based on the 
recruitment parameters, all participants identified as currently 
“single” parents and had at least one child living with them. I used 
Zoom to conduct my interviews for several reasons. First, on 
account of the pandemic, zoom was the safest option to get 
together. Second, the ability to conduct interviews from comfort 
of homes would be especially important to my participants who 
were singularly juggling childcare and busy work schedules. For 
example, even during the interview the hum of everyday life and 
parenting was happening in the background. I could hear mothers 
instructing their children to take a bath or get ready for bed. 

If a participant did not have access to a computer or internet 
access, I was prepared to offer the interview via a mobile device–
such as a telephone call. I should add that all participants were 



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able to connect via zoom. Each interview lasted between 45-60 
minutes and were, with the consent of the participant, recorded. I 
decided to use interviews as a method to elicit in-depth stories that 
spoke of their unique experiences/ familial situation and the 
pandemic. I transcribed each interview and coded them 
thematically to arrive at my findings. 
 
Participant Characteristics 

All the participants for this study identified as women i.e., 
Karina, Lizette, Jennifer, Crystal, and Annie (names altered per 
IRB). I did not specifically seek single mothers as I understand 
that there are single fathers out there as well. However, as data 
shows—most single parents are mothers. Even though 3 single 
fathers had initially responded to my flyer, none followed through 
despite multiple emails from me. All the participants were women 
of color – four of them identified themselves as Latinas and one 
as Black. All of them had sought higher education with three 
completing a bachelor’s degree. Their income range varied. 
Crystal $125,000/annually and was arguably an outlier as the rest 
made between $24,000 – 50,000 annually. At least two worked 
more than one job. Their ages ranged between early 30s and early 
40s years. Two of the mothers had only one child, while three of 
the participants had 2-3 children. All the children were minors, 
lived with their mothers, and their ages ranged between 4-14 years 
of age. 

Further, all participants self-identified as “single” parents. 
All women had been in heterosexual relationships before its 
dissolution. Four of the participants had separated before the 
pandemic. Only one of them (Annie) separated and started the 
divorce process at the beginning of the pandemic. In Annie’s case, 
as related by her, the domestic violence she had endured before 
the pandemic had escalated during the pandemic and during the 
pandemic the children were also becoming victims of abuse. In 
fact, Annie made the decision to separate when her ex-husband 
physically abused her son. As I discuss in the next section in more 
detail, all participants were solely responsible for the care of 
children and for most of them their ex-partners were not invested 
in childcare. Two ex-partners reported active restraining orders 
against them due to a history of violence. The data provided for 



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the pieces of information and taking a “closer” look at the lives of 
these single parents provided a foundation for further analysis into 
their very own hardships and struggles.  
 
Managing Alone as Single Mothers 

All my participants said that the fathers of their children 
were mostly absent from their lives. None of the fathers made 
financial contributions and the few that met their children did so 
rarely. Crystal mentioned that even when they were together, she 
essentially operated as a single parent and divorce just solidified 
that responsibility. She said, “sometimes even when you're 
married, you select you're single anyways, I just want to make that 
a point that women do a significant amount of work in the 
household. And so, it's just hard either way.” Karina said that her 
son’s father wasn’t majorly involved in his everyday activities as 
she was. He would visit when it suited him. For all intents and 
purposes, she was the only parent who held the sole responsibility 
for her son.  

Lizette and Jennifer reported that their ex-partners were 
both incarcerated during much of the pandemic, but their 
substance dependence meant that they didn’t contribute even 
when they had been together. In Jennifer’s case, it has always been 
an uphill battle when it came to the inconsistency that her ex-
partner provided for her and her child. Lizette’s ex-partner was 
released for a short while before being incarcerated again. Annie 
and Crystal reported that the fathers of their children had a current 
restraining order on file. They were both survivors of domestic 
violence. Even though the fathers saw their children for 
supervised visits according to the court’s child custody order, 
there was no shared parenting relationship due to restraining 
orders. Annie said,  

So, when we separated, um, we had that domestic 
violence situation. And so immediately, I had a 
restraining order put in place. And I still Okay, 
now I know that people are most likely going to 
relapse multiple times before they could get 
sober, you know. So, I decided to stick around 
with him for two years. It was on and off, he 
would get clean, then he would relapse...When he 



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was clean, everything was fine...but I can’t have 
a part time husband or father figure for my son, 
you know. He had gotten released from the state 
facility. So, whenever he came out, he had to go 
live with his sister. He couldn’t...he didn’t have 
the resources to support or share custody, buying 
food for the kids. He didn’t even have a job. I have 
a restraining order in place till this day. And 
within that restraining order, it gave me executive 
control over the children with their persons, their 
medical, so I am their number one caregiver and 
in the eyes of the law and just in general. But I 
also want to preface this by saying, even when I 
was married, I was basically doing all the work 
anyways. So, I was already doing everything. 
Clearly, the participants are the sole caregivers and the 

household's only breadwinners. Going through the challenge of 
living through a historic pandemic—or not—they report that they 
were always there for their children. They couldn’t depend on or 
even place the father of their children in consideration in their 
children’s lives. This is due to the constant inconsistency that they 
experienced even when they were together, as a couple, at some 
point in their lives. Managing alone is a recurring theme with all 
these participants and it is clear that they carry the tremendous 
responsibility of playing all these roles simultaneously to provide 
a quality of life for their child(ren). 
 
Positionality 

Like my participants, I identify as a single mother. I am 
also the sole caretaker of two school-aged children–aged twelve 
and seven years old. As an “essential worker,” I was required to 
go into work even as my children were home due to school 
closures. I was fortunate to have my mother close by to rely on. 
She looks after my children while I am away. But that came with 
its own challenges, I had daily contact with the public and feared 
contracting the virus and bringing it back to my family. My 
mother is immunocompromised, and I constantly feared for her 
well-being. Unlike my participants, I was also fortunate enough to 
have developed a healthy co-parenting relationship with my ex-



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partner. Since he was able to work from home, he would often 
come by to my house and assist our children with online learning. 
He also had a computer desk set up for our children when they 
would visit him at his home. I was acutely aware that I was 
extremely fortunate in this regard, and this was not the case for 
most of my participants yet the shared realities between myself 
and my participants forged a rapport and intimacy that would have 
been harder to achieve had I been an “outsider.” If I had been an 
outsider, I wouldn’t have gained my participant’s trust so easily. 
It is difficult to open to someone, let alone talk about hardships 
and challenges that one goes through. If I claimed to be single with 
no children, I wouldn’t have a commonality to share with them. 
They would have possibly not wanted to be emotionally open to 
me and might have withheld information if that were the case. All 
in all, as single parents, we shared a deep knowledge and empathy 
for each other’s challenges. At the end of the interviews, they 
added that they were grateful to have participated in this research 
study and claimed it to be a form of therapy and felt that they were 
“seen” and “heard”. Thus, my own personal history, common and 
shared stories of challenges and resilience aided in gaining my 
participant’s trust and confidence. 
 
FINDINGS 

My findings suggest that single parents experienced the 
pandemic as a double-edged sword – on the one hand, it pushed 
single parents to the brink as they “managed alone” the intensive 
tasks of parenting while shouldering work responsibilities. Yet, 
surprisingly, they found moments of joy in otherwise trying times 
due to uninterrupted time spent with their children. 

 
Managing Alone and Pushed to the Brink 

The single mothers I interviewed were pushed to the brink 
during the early months of the pandemic as school closures 
weighed heavily on the mothers as a “new” expectation of round-
the-clock parenting without breaks added to already existing 
challenges that single mothers endured while keeping a balance 
on work and life. As Karina noted, “For one if you're single, right, 
so you cannot rely on your partner late at night or in the morning, 
it's kind of you... kind of just have to keep on going without 



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hesitating or, or even have a time to complain, because at the 
same time, you're so busy trying to get things moving, like taking 
your child to school, to the doctor, to providing food on the table, 
that it has been very challenging... there is just no time.” 

Due to fear of spreading and contracting the virus, they 
further isolated themselves from others. While in the past they had 
the support of their mothers and friends to step in, the pandemic 
took that away from them. With no one to fall back on, Lizette 
summarized and said, “There’s no time I can't even be sick, 
because if I'm sick every ship will sink!” 

Since schools and childcare centers were shut down due to 
the lockdown, it became a hardship for those parents that had to 
still go to work “in person” and leave their children at home. With 
no one to turn to, some like Lizette left her children – who were 
of “legal age” –home alone as she went to work. But she worried 
about them nonstop. She said, “Without anyone to watch over 
them, there is no one to even make sure they wake up for school 
on time.” Some others like Crystal, who jobs to find one where 
she could take her youngest with her. Ultimately, she took a job at 
a daycare to be able to take her youngest son with her. She said 
she worked in a school district, took her children with her when 
she went to work. Annie had to change professions—she notes the 
following: 

I reached out to this school that had daycare. 
They have special programs for low-income 
families, like you know... So, I went in there 
looking for daycare, and they offered me a job, 
because I said I need a job. So, I had to stop 
looking out for things in my field, you know, 
office, clerical stuff—to changing diapers and 
potty training and all that just so that I could be 
close to Kayden so that I can obtain childcare. 

It was not a job Annie wanted. She did not want to “clean poopie 
diapers all day,” but she settled for the sake of her son. All in all, 
the feature of childcare has always been an issue with or without 
the pandemic taking place, but the pandemic took away the few 
support systems that my participants had previously relied on.  

Virtual schooling added another layer of stress. All the 
participants wanted to make sure that their children did great in 



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school. They often reported checking their work and rearranging 
their work schedules and/or meetings to accommodate their 
children. In addition to it all participants reported being stressed, 
due to the pandemic, and the uncertainty of everything occurring 
around them. Parents were often responsible for facilitating the 
education of their children during the pandemic. As one 
participant said, “They call us the parent coaches...I have to help 
him with doing the homework, experiments, reading and I have to 
check everything before he submits. So, in addition to everything 
else I’m basically his teacher at home.” 

Single mothers also feared for the welfare of their 
children. They worried what would happen to their children if they 
had COVID and were hospitalized or worse. Fear was a constant 
that would further isolate them from others. Annie, for example 
stated the following, “We would go outside for a little while, but 
it was always that little fear, like, the uncertainty of like, is it okay, 
is it not?” Moreover, the losses they experienced during the 
pandemic made it harder. Two of the participants (Lizette and 
Crystal) lost their own mothers during the pandemic leading to 
tremendous emotional turmoil. Scholarship has shown the 
important roles grandmothers typically play in low-income and/or 
single-parent families to supplement childcare (George and 
Dickerson 1995). The women in this study had also relied on their 
mothers on occasion before so their mothers’ loss left yet another 
gap in their lives. During the interview, all the women reflected 
on the pain and loss, yet not being able to find time or space to 
properly grieve losses. They felt stretched thin. Annie’s words put 
that in perspective. Annie who had just left a violent marriage 
knew she needed therapy, but she said, 

The kids are going through therapy, right? You 
know, every, every Tuesday they get therapy. 
They offered me help as well. I said no at the time, 
they are priority right now. I still have a lot of a 
lot going on. And I go to work, I come home, I 
have to cook, I have to do homework, I have to 
give showers. When do I even have time to do 
therapy? during my lunch break? So, I don't have 
time for school, I don't have time for therapy 



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sessions. I know, they will probably benefit me a 
lot, but I don’t have time. 

Having to manage alone in this pandemic and life overall wasn’t 
enough for these participants— their quality of life was at a 
standstill or to place it in a literal sense—they felt defeated. They 
were all “burnt” out in having to just exist in their child(ren)’s 
lives and having to constantly juggle everything all at once 
without having to drop anything because everything, each role, 
was just as important. They constantly had to manage the ever-
changing climate of their surroundings and had to adhere to these 
special circumstances that made life cumbersome for them. They 
expressed a tiresome tone in their interviews. They felt like they 
needed a “break” from it all but when was that going to happen? 
 
“Silver Linings” while Managing Alone 

Despite the struggles and hardships that the participants 
faced, it was surprising to hear that they felt the pandemic had its 
silver linings for them. All of them claimed that they were able to 
spend more time with their children and that it was a blessing in 
disguise. They experienced this quality time that they had not 
experienced “pre-pandemic.” There was time “saved” in not 
having to get ready and the time it took to travel from point A to 
B was just a walk to the living room to start work or school. They 
created this special bond with their children. They felt they were 
more than just parents—they were their teachers now. While this 
was sometimes overwhelming, as noted above, they also got a 
chance to be involved more with their children’s schoolwork and 
academics, which was meaningful. 

All, except for Crystal, had dealt with severe financial 
strain before the pandemic but things shifted after the pandemic. 
As Karina said, “Financially, it is challenging, because I’ve 
always worked two or three jobs in order to maintain a healthy 
financial status for me.” In fact, their finances were less impacted 
by the pandemic and most continued to work where they had 
worked before. Ironically, for some, the pandemic offered more 
hours at work and therefore, more money. Jennifer reported that 
she was offered more overtime which added more income to the 
family. She stated the following, “In my field, I feel like we’re 
always going to be...considered essential. So workwise, it didn’t 



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really affect me...we were getting more hours...it was even a better 
working schedule for me.” However, this came with the 
possibility of exposure which constantly worried them. She 
related the extra time she would spend sanitizing her workplace to 
keep herself safe.  

Government assistance programs during pandemic 
further added to their financial stability. However, they all 
reported that they qualified for the EBT card and were able to 
purchase groceries to help sustain their families. The “free lunch” 
pickup feature at school was another feature that helped them. 
Even Crystal, who makes $125,000 annually, qualified for the 
EBT card because of her children’s school district in a low-income 
neighborhood. Lizette said, 

We were fortunate, their school district without 
us even knowing they applied for a grant. So, 
what they did is that if your children received free 
lunch, and all the kids get free lunch here in the 
district, they don’t have to pay for lunch. Pretty 
much everybody got it...They would do curbside 
meals. So, the cafeteria would supply breakfast 
and lunch...my kids didn’t have a way to get there 
when I was at work...They got a food benefit 
card...That helped tremendously. 

Further, Child Tax Credit programs helped them create 
some savings. Under the American Rescue Plan, parents were 
eligible to receive an increased child tax credit, if they were caring 
for a child in the household. The monthly child tax credit was $250 
per child. This occurred from the time of July 
through December 2021. Annie had fared the worst amongst all. 
She had just begun the process of separation when the pandemic 
started. Upon separation, she had to find employment and a place 
to live with her children. Her ex-spouse refused to provide support 
in any form and even kept the money received from Child Tax 
Credit programs. She worked multiple jobs to stay afloat and 
relied on social services (e.g., EBT, Section 8 Housing, Church, 
and domestic violence shelters) to get her back onto her feet and 
provide a type of security for her and her children. Annie would 
spend hours and days trying to ensure that she and her children 
had basic amenities. Yet, she felt that the pandemic also saved her 



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and her children, because pandemic related assistance programs 
helped her out: 

I’m under a program where they’re helping me 
with housing, which is for women and children 
that suffer from abuse. So, it’s called, “(name 
removed)” They’re helping me with my rent. I 
had COVID in February. I reached out to a 
church that helped me...So I’ve been looking out 
for different programs to help me because it’s 
really hard getting paid $15 an hour when your 
rent is $1,800. And I get paid $2,000 a month? 
The process of healing also not only occurred within each 

participant, but it was apparent on the outside. Annie claimed that 
she started to notice changes on the outside. She started to become 
healthier, and her mental health was getting better. Despite all her 
struggles, she expressed that she felt that the pandemic saved her 
life.  

My health is better. I was on heart medication. 
You know because he had me on edge. My heart 
rate was always like 185 and I was sitting on the 
sofa. It was because of the tension because he 
would bring my adrenaline you know, like this 
(snaps fingers) like a switch. No, I’m not on that 
anymore...I had this weird allergy on my face...it 
was all stress related. My hair is actually 
growing out. It’s all those little things that you 
start noticing. It’s like, ``Wow, this man was 
affecting so many people in so many different 
ways.” Even my son is thriving, and now for the 
past year now, since he's been with me... we've 
been away from all that mess. He's nothing but 
straight A’s, honor roll. 4.0 grade point average. 
I mean, he's doing so well. 

This significant feature is the most remarkable silver lining in the 
study. Annie was the participant that showed the most turmoil and 
was in great distress. Although she remained calm and positive. 
She managed to cope and handled her hardships with grace and 
hope. 



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Thus, despite the many challenges the pandemic 
presented the single mothers in this study found their solace in the 
few indirect perks the pandemic brought them, they found more 
time with their children and sometimes more of a financial safety 
net they had not experienced before due to pandemic relief 
programs. While the study had initially expected to find that 
challenges for single parents were exacerbated during the 
pandemic, I unexpectedly found narratives of hope and resilience. 
Despite these silver linings the study points to the fact that even 
before the pandemic, single mothers were hard pressed to find 
quality time with their children. Perhaps, more importantly, it 
shows the need for stronger safety nets for single parents. The 
moderate offerings in public assistance during the pandemic made 
so much of a difference is both eye-opening and troubling; and 
suggests that the public safety net needs to be broadened more 
generally. 
 
CONCLUSION 

I expected the pandemic to only bring more grief and 
challenges along the way for the single parent and make life worse 
for the household. However, there were silver linings in these 
times uncertainty and unforeseen circumstances. The resilience of 
the participants and how they approached and coped with the 
challenges was remarkable. There was a medley of hardships that 
each of them uniquely encountered, however, they were all able 
to jump over that obstacle and make the best out of a bad situation. 
The participants shared a wealth of information about how they 
coped with the many factors that they encountered during the 
pandemic. They provided a lens into their lives and told stories 
about “managing alone” through the pandemic as a single parent. 
They spoke about their children and how much they cared for their 
well-being during this uncertain time. They tended to their basic 
human needs such as shelter and food security. They also were 
concerned about their children’s education. They all coped with 
virtual schooling that brought many challenges that needed to be 
dealt with. They worried about childcare and who could be present 
to ensure their children’s physical well-being if something were 
to happen to them. These parents worried about social distancing 
and mask requirements. After the school reopened and the 



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children were able to get back to a so-called “normal” they had to 
rebuild their past friendships and teacher relationships once again 
since they had spent so much time apart. While single parents are 
and were resilient for the sake of their children, the pandemic 
offered unforeseen silver linings that they all experienced during 
doubt and uncertainty. 

The information gathered here and the data that was 
analyzed, especially what mothers called “silver linings” is also a 
troubling insight into our current world. What kind of world do 
we live in that it takes a pandemic for a single parent to find quality 
time with their children? What kind of work culture have we 
created that allows us to ignore the crises of childcare experienced 
especially by single parents, day after day? The study showed the 
importance of public assistance/welfare measures for the health 
and welfare of children and women. All these participants 
benefited from a social service, one way or another, that was 
provided by the government during the pandemic. How would 
Annie have fared without these given her ex-husband had not 
provided for them financially? The school lunches enabled the 
mothers to work, parent, and teach without worrying about 
making food during school/work hours. Consider this, what would 
have happened to the mothers in this study had these services been 
absent during the pandemic? How would these single parents fend 
for themselves and their children? If anything, this study shows 
the importance of strengthening our social safety nets even after 
the pandemic.  
 
FUTURE DIRECTIONS OF RESEARCH 

A major limitation of this study was sample size. This 
research is based on five participants due to time constraints and 
the difficulty in recruiting from a demographic whose time is 
stretched thin. Being a single parent and managing everything all 
at once is cumbersome and they simply may not have any extra 
time reserved to answer the questions involved in the interview. 
Many single parents are still trying to manage and maintain their 
households and their mental health might be at risk. Some 
potential participants may not have been ready to share their own 
challenges and struggles. They might be struggling with 



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homelessness or food insecurity and do not feel that they are in a 
safe space to speak about these hardships. 

Future research could feature a larger sample size. 
Further, as this study focused on single mothers, future research 
could compare the experiences of single fathers. The study would 
benefit from viewing the coping mechanisms according to a single 
father’s perspective, a group we rarely hear from. Finally, future 
research could include an explicit analysis of vulnerable groups 
within categories of single parents, like undocumented single 
parents. Such research would add nuance to our understandings of 
how groups living under multiple layers of oppression cope with 
the systemic challenges facing them. 
 

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Martha Toscano Joya (She/Her/Ella) graduated with a Master of Arts 
degree, in Sociology, from California State University- Los Angeles. She is 
an adjunct instructor at Pasadena City College. Her main courses are Intro 
to Sociology and Race & Ethnicity. Her research interests include: Human 
Sexuality, Immigration, Race & Ethnicity, Poverty & Social Psychology & 
Justice. This published piece is representative of her work alongside mentor, 
Dr. Shweta Adur, who she is grateful and thankful for her continued support. 
This piece is dedicated to all single mothers who navigate life's challenges 
& obstacles. 


	Managing Alone: Single Parenthood and Silver Linings in the Time of COVID-19 - Martha Toscano Joya



