Creative Works | Poetry | Bates 101 CALIFORNIA SOCIOLOGY FORUM VOL. 7 Roles and Impressions within Romantic Relationships and Heartbreak Taryn Bates Department of Sociology California State University, Los Angeles EXPLANATION OF SOCIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE This collection of four poems explores the breakdown of romantic relationships that leads to heartbreak through the use of metaphorical and allegorical comparison, particularly through imagery found in fairytales or mythical and mystical lore. Sociology has a keen interest in the dynamics of social relationships, which includes how individuals collectively navigate romantic connections. Such relationship interactions have become key sociological topics, with several sociological theories offering insight into ways of understanding interpersonal communication and conscious or subconscious negotiations that occur. According to role theory, social interactions are greatly informed by established norms and presumed or assumed roles. Under exchange theory, relationships can be viewed as continually weighing pros and cons or as gauging trade-offs of costs and benefits, including comparing alternative options when deciding to continue a relationship. Impression formation often comes into play for one’s overall perception of others and impression management is the act of someone trying to endear or ingratiate oneself with others when attempting to maintain or even strengthen a relationship bond. Role strain occurs when an individual within a relationship feels like they are unable to uphold that which is expected of them. Romantic relationships tend to be even more heightened than average interpersonal relationships due to heightened feelings and emotions. Symbolic interactionism can emerge as romantic partners try to make gestures of love towards one another, but such symbolism does not guarantee relational compatibility. Creative Works | Poetry | Bates 102 CALIFORNIA SOCIOLOGY FORUM VOL. 7 A Fairytale, Ending How far I've come, how far you're gone Instead of queen, I was your pawn What once upon a time you swore Became a never-ending chore You live happily, I live ever after An unfair tale now ending in disaster I slept through all the lies it seems For this is nothing like my dreams Between all the words you never wrote, and the ones I never read We let too many things ride off and pass us by unsaid Your noble steed has shrunk in size There is no place for me at your side Your siren voice did play its part Alluring out my foolish heart You fished me out to help me roam But interest dissolved like sea foam Which apple was coated with your spell? How blindly for your charms I fell To the eye your looks did please But underneath there hid a beast Your big blue eyes and winning grin Distracting signs of the wolf within The magic shoe slipped off my foot You smashed it to pieces with nary a look No wonder left in Neverland You lost me when you forced my hand I closed my eyes to kiss you hard When I should have been on my guard I closed my eyes to kiss your cheek But should have known a frog was weak Creative Works | Poetry | Bates 103 CALIFORNIA SOCIOLOGY FORUM VOL. 7 Pinocchio Pawn These puppet strings entangle me and confuse my every step I try to gather what little strength is left in me, but the struggle seems in vain Every limb and my very heart are still controlled by you Every movement, a memory of submitting to your masterful manipulation I feel half alive but hardened to this world I can't take a step without feeling the remnants of your power tugging me back I speak lies - even to myself- without realizing until I see a mirror Then my growing nose shows my folly and downfall I wish to be real but flesh and blood hurt, too Which is worse? The pain of being trapped or of breaking free? You praised my looks and performance but the compliments were just more ways of binding me to you Did I play my part well, master? Was I everything you whittled me down to be? This wooden shell my prison and casket be as I rot away, hidden from the world's eye They see my painted-on expression of contentment but that which controls me remains invisible to them I need to sever the ties that hold me to you I'm a Real Girl now Holy Grail A romantic gift asked for in innocence Now sits untouched of true experience Too many thoughts of use led to idealization Cementing its spot on the shelf in realization That when you give something worth Sometimes perception overshadows its birth Naive eyes open wide to what appears Seeing something forever tainted by our fears AFTERLIFE When you ghosted me, at first I hoped to haunt your ever-waking step with hell fury I'd slip Creative Works | Poetry | Bates 104 CALIFORNIA SOCIOLOGY FORUM VOL. 7 into your dreams your things your very way of life You'd think of me with grand regret seeing visions that you can't reject yet knowing there would be no belief or support from others over what you were seeing no relief The tables would turn from the beyond the one spurned now taunting you No heavenly respite from the raging storm You could not love so turned my heart to hate The borderlines for favorites split at the seams to extremes Fraying nerves and alliances But I am not a specter I never meant to be menacing or unpleasant or life draining My own fears forced meaning from apparitions projections too fantastical for any living being to embody So, it is up to you to remember to forget all your deeds and dealings Because if I haunt you I'd have to haunt me, too Roles and Impressions within Romantic Relationships and Heartbreak - Taryn Bates