CONFLICT MANAGEMENT IN ACTION: VERBAL STRATEGIES, NONVERBAL BEHAVIORS AND CONFLICT STYLES Developments in Business Simulation & Experiential Exercises, Volume 14, 1987 138 CONFLICT MANAGEMENT IN ACTION: VERBAL STRATEGIES, NONVERBAL BEHAVIORS AND CONFLICT STYLES Janet Mills, Northern Arizona University ABSTRACT This experiential exercise was designed to enable participants to identify the verbal strategies and nonverbal behaviors which characterize the five styles of conflict management. Although theoretical descriptions of the five conflict styles are available in the literature [1] and several instruments are available for assessing conflict styles [2], none offers behaviorally based descriptions of the conflict styles. In this exercise which bridges theory to practice, participants generate behaviorally based descriptions of what people actually say and do when interacting with others in the different conflict styles. The overall goals of the exercise are: (1) to promote participants understanding of the five conflict styles by describing verbal strategies characteristic of each; (2) to highlight nonverbal behaviors characteristic of each conflict style; (3) to involve participants in enacting the nonverbal behaviors associated with each conflict style to deepen their understanding and promote empathy; and (4) to indicate strategies for engaging people in alternative conflict styles by addressing the belief systems and assumptions which underlie particular conflict styles. INTRODUCTION Overview This experiential exercise complements the study of conflict management, offering participants the opportunity to extend their theoretical understanding to the specific, concrete, behavioral level. Prior to the exercise, students should be acquainted with the topic of conflict management through readings, mini- lecture and discussion. They should have completed and scored the Conflict Management Survey by Jay Hall which is available through Teleometrics, Inc. [2]. They should have received debriefing on the instrument so that they understand: (1) the two dimension of behavior in conflict situations (concern for personal goals and concern for relationship); (2) theoretical descriptions of the five conflict styles (9/1, 1/9, 5/5, 1/1 and 9/9); (3) the order and preference of their own scores, and (4) criteria for the appropriate use of each conflict style. How This Experiential Exercise Was Developed For over ten years, I have been teaching conflict management both on campus and in management development seminars. About five years ago, after debriefing a group on conflict styles, I found I did not have enough time left in the session to administer a mixed-motive game. In the pinch, I asked participants to group themselves by their primary conflict styles and discuss strategies people use within their primary style. As I observed the groups, intent upon the verbal content of their discussions, I suddenly became aware of the consistent use of nonverbal behaviors within groups, and the striking contrast of nonverbal behaviors between groups. As each group reported out the data on verbal strategies, I shared my observations of their nonverbal behaviors. Participants pointed out that those who reported out for their groups engaged in come of the nonverbal behaviors descriptive of their group. My background includes extensive studies and teaching in nonverbal behavior and neurolinguistic programming. It was this background that probably enabled me to notice the nonverbal distinctions initially. However, volunteers from classes and client groups who have served as observers have been readily able to identify systematic distinctions, either using the worksheet in Appendix 1 or starting with no guidelines whatsoever. Experience With the Experiential Design I have used this design numerous times during the past five years. It has been an engaging exercise for undergraduate and graduate students and for professionals including librarians, economic developers, chamber of commerce executives, association executives, nuns, civil service employees, military officers, medical center employees and nurses. The exercise works well because it provides people with the opportunity to participate in their area of strength, i.e. brainstorming what people say and do when using their primary conflict style. The design also involves the element of surprise in that observers attend to and report on the nonverbal behaviors of those engaged in brainstorming. Those who receive feedback on their nonverbal behaviors find the experience lively and fun; so do the observers. Details of Class Organizations The experiential exercise is especially effective with groups of 40-60 people. No administrative support is needed and debriefing takes place as part of the exercise itself. Although it is possible to complete the design in a 50 minute class period, a 75 or 90 minute class period allows for more interaction and discussion. The ideal environment for the exercise is a large room with moveable furniture which allows the entire group to break into five groups. However, I have found participants make necessary adjustments in any physical layout. Preparation Details Five recorders, one for each group, will need paper and pencil. Copies of the worksheet “Nonverbal Behavior and Conflict Styles” (Appendix 1) should be reproduced to give to the observers. Developments in Business Simulation & Experiential Exercises, Volume 14, 1987 139 Copies of “A Summary of Nonverbal Behavior and Conflict Styles” (Appendix 2) and “Strategies to Encourage the Use of Alternative Conflict Styles” (Appendix 3) should be reproduced as handouts for all participants. INSTRUCTIONS FOR FACILITATORS 1. Introduce the exercise by recalling the five conflict styles. Explain that the purpose of the exercise is to enhance participants understanding of the styles by focusing on specific, concrete, observable behaviors--what people actually say and do when engaging in conflict in the different styles. 2. Identify three to five volunteers to serve as observers. 3. Ask participants to form groups on the basis of their primary conflict styles; indicate a location in the room for each group. As the groups are assembling give the observers copies of the worksheet “Nonverbal Behavior and Conflict Styles” (Appendix 1) and ask them to attend to nonverbal behaviors using the worksheet as a guide. Assign an observer to each group. Ask them to rotate to other groups every three minutes in order to observe all the groups at least once. 4. Ask each group to appoint a recorder who will take brief notes to report out to the group at large. 5. Instruct the groups to list strategies and tactics representative of their primary conflict style. Stress that the list should include specifics--what people say and do when using that particular conflict style. Allot 15 minutes to complete the task. 6. Call time. Ask participants to stay seated in their groups and ask the observers to be seated together. 7. Ask which group would like to report out first. (Most often the 9/1 group volunteers aggressively.) The recorder should report what his or her group listed. 8. After the first reporter finishes, reveal to the group that the observers were attending to nonverbal behaviors to see if certain behaviors characterized the groups discussing the various conflict styles. Ask the observers to discuss their findings for the group that reported first. 9. Proceed similarly until all five groups have reported out and the observers have described the characteristic nonverbal behaviors of all groups. 10. Distribute the handouts: “A Summary of Nonverbal Behavior and Conflict Styles” (Appendix 2) and “Strategies to Encourage the Use of Alternative Conflict Styles” (Appendix 3). 11. Explain that internal states (belief systems and assumptions) and consistent external behaviors (verbal and nonverbal) may be associated. If that is the case, certain behaviors will seem easy and natural to the people in some groups, but not in others, on the basis of the order and preference of their scores. 12. The instructor then invites participants to experiment with their behavior in the following way. He or she sits facing participants and verbally describes and nonverbally enacts the behaviors characteristic of one conflict style asks the participants to enact those same nonverbal behaviors. As this process goes on, the instructor may encourage participants to express how familiar and easy vs. unfamiliar and difficult the nonverbal enactments seem to people in various groups. 13. Proceed through all the conflict styles, allowing spontaneous discussion and comment by groups or individuals. (It is most likely that the 9/Is will be uncomfortable with 1/9 and 1/1 behaviors and vice verse. 9/9s will find some 9/1 and 1/9 behaviors easy, others unfamiliar.) 14. The instructor may point out that one way to gain empathy for others lies in kinesthetic imitation. The nonverbal role-taking experience may provide participants with insight and understanding about the internal experiences of persons using the various conflict styles. 15. Suggest the following strategy for growth: practice the nonverbal behaviors associated with one the least preferable style and think about the verbal strategies reported for that style. Such mental rehearsal can prepare one to begin experimenting with an unfamiliar style. 16. Refer to the handout “Strategies to Encourage the Use of Alternative Conflict Styles” (Appendix 3), to indicate the ways in which persons using a particular conflict style might be addressed in order to encourage them to adopt a more productive or appropriate style. Emphasize the interpersonal skills involved in each strategy. 17. Summarize the usefulness of the learnings from this exercise as follows: (a) By observing the verbal strategies and nonverbal behaviors of people engaged in conflict, it is possible to venture a hypothesis about which conflict style or styles are in use. (b) Recalling that certain internal states (belief systems and assumptions) likely underlie each conflict style, it is possible to venture hypotheses about the internal states of those in conflict. (c) Should the conflict be proceeding in a nonproductive way, intervention strategies to move the conflicting parties toward using more appropriate conflict styles may be attempted. Such strategies begin by addressing belief systems and assumptions, offering each party the resources he or she needs in order to interact in another style. Developments in Business Simulation & Experiential Exercises, Volume 14, 1987 140 Developments in Business Simulation & Experiential Exercises, Volume 14, 1987 141 Developments in Business Simulation & Experiential Exercises, Volume 14, 1987 142 Developments in Business Simulation & Experiential Exercises, Volume 14, 1987 143 REFERENCES AND NOTES [1] Theoretical descriptions of conflict styles are available in the following references: Blake, R.R. & Mouton, J.S. The managerial pride. Houston: Gulf Publishing, 1965. Cosier, R.A. & Ruble, T.L. Research on conflict handling behavior: An experimental approach. Academy of Management Journal. 1981, 24, 816-831. Filley, A. Interpersonal conflict resolution. Glenview, IL: Scott Foresman, 1975. Folger, J.P. & Poole, M.S. Working through conflict: A communication perspective. Glenview, IL: Scott Foresman and Company, 1984. Hall, J. Conflict management survey: A survey on ones characteristic reaction to and handling of conflicts between himself and others. Conroe, TX: Teleometrics International, 1969. Kilmann, R.H. & Thomas, K.W. Developing a forced- choice measure of conflict-handling behavior: the MODE instrument. Educational and Psychological Measurement, 1977, 37, 309-325. Phillips, E. & Cheston, R. Conflict resolution: What works? California Management Review, 1979, 21, 76- 83. Ruble, T.L. & Thomas, K.W. Support for a two- dimensional model of conflict behaviors. Organizational Behavior and Human Performance, 1975, 16-143-155. Thomas, K. Conflict and conflict management. In M. Dunnette (Ed.), Handbook of industrial and organizational psychology. NY: Rand McNally, 1976. Wilmot, J.H. & Wilmot, W.W. Interpersonal conflict. Dubuque, Iowa: Wm. C. Brown, 1978. [2] Commercially available instruments which assess conflict styles include: Conflict Management Survey Teleonietrics, International 2203 Timberloch Place, Suite 104 The Woodlands, TX 77380 Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument Xicom, Inc. Sterling Forest Tuxedo, NY 10987 Reference to other instruments is made in: Lawrence, P.R. & Lorch, J.W. Organization and environment. Homewood, IL: Irwin, 1967. Putnam, L. & Wilson, C.E. Development of an organizational communication conflict instrument. In M. Burgoon (Ed.), Communication Yearbook (Vol. 6) Beverly Hills, CA: Sage, 1981. Table of Contents Volume 14, 1987 Simulation Gaming as An Experimental Context for the Study of Multicriteria Decision Making How to Multiply Your Management Game Grading the Personnel In-Basket Exercise Simulation: The Players™ Perspective The Acute Susceptibility of Nominal Grouping to Negativity The Relative Value of the National ABSEL Meetings: An Analysis of Perceptions by Faculty and Deans A Survey of Behavioral Labs Used by American Business Schools A Structured Framework for Applying Conceptual Models to Problem Analysis: Hardening Up An Expert System Approach for Teaching Marketing Case Analysis From Theory to Practice: A Model for Teaching Beginning Advertising The Use of a Simple Forecasting Technique During an Interactive Computerized Business Game An Investigation of the Relationship Between Formal Planning and Simulation Team Performance and Satisfaction The Exponential Logarithm as an Algorithm for Business Simulations Learning macroeconomic Theory and Policy Analysis Via Microcomputer Simulation Laptop: A Principles of Marketing Simulation Teaching About Sampling in a Marketing Research Class Integrating Decision Support Systems and Business Games Demand Generation in a Service Industry Simulation: An Algorithmic Paradox ABSEL - At a Crossroads? Research on Predicting Performance in the Simulation An Expert System for Financial Planners "Developing Various Student Learning Abilities Via Writing, the Stock market Game, and Modified Marketplace Game in Beginning Macroeconomics" Professional Activity Reports: Getting back to Basics Œ A Preliminary Investigation "A Comparison of Performance, Attitudes, and behaviors of MBA and BBA Students in a Simulation Environment: A Preliminary Investigation" Decision Styles and Student Simulation Performance: A Replication Personal Power Strategies: An Experiential Exercise LTL I: A Trucking Simulation Game Total Enterprise Business Games: An Evaluation Can the Skill of Management be Taught? Developing Critical Thinking and Effective Communication Meaningful Notebooks and Enhanced Learning Using a Totally Menu-Driven Data base and Decision Support (DSS) Program Using a Computerized Menu-Driven Data Entry and fiWhat-Iffl Program as a Pedagogical Enhancement for Management Simulation Using a Joint Project Involving MBA Marketing Management and Undergraduate Marketing Research Students to Teach Marketing Research Testing the PAGE Technique: Results and Further Developments A Comparison of Student Perceptions with Accepted Expectations for Business Simulations "Conflict Management in Action: Verbal Strategies, Nonverbal behaviors and Conflict Styles" Dramatic Monologues as Surrogates for Experiential Learning Influencing One™s Superior: An Assessment and Exercise Personality Traits and Organizational Cultures: Two One-Hour Experiential Learning Exercises Computype: A Strategic Marketing Game Open System Simulations and Simulation Based Research "Teaching Forecasting to the Masses: Little Decision Support Training, But a lot of Answers" Goal Setting and Performance Evaluation with Different Starting Positions Œ The Modeling Dilemma The Gamesmanship of Pricing: Building Pricing Strategy Skills Through Spreadsheet Modeling Teaching MPR Experientially Through the Use of Lotus 1-2-3 Business Simulation Through Activities of a Manufacturing Company Simulated Stock Broker Teaching Employee Counseling Skills to Management Students: A Simulation Airline: A Strategic Management Simulation Developing Simulations and Experiential Exercises on the Personal Computer: Some Critical Issues A Powerful Tool Œ For What? An Integrative Systems Approach to Simulating Free Enterprise in a Small Business Course in a Business School Profits: The False Prophet The Use of Expert Systems to Develop Strategic Scenarios: An Experiment Using a Simulated Market Environment An Interdisciplinary Workshop: Spreadsheet Modeling and Case Analysis Techniques for Beginning Executive MBA Students An Innovative Approach to an O. D. Class Œ The Creative Interaction The Application of Spreadsheet Software Technology to Complete Taxpayer Elections Experiential Learning as the Cornerstone of an Industry Management Course "Identifying, Exercising and Enhancing Right Brain Skills in the Business Classroom" Utilizing Envisionary Technology in the Business Policy Course: An Experiential Pedagogy Business Simulation in the Policy Course: A Survey of American Assembly of Collegiate Schools of Business The Moving Van: Vehicle to Success of Disaster for the Two-Gender Work Force Oil and Gas Well Investment Analysis Using the Lotus 1-2-3 Decision Support System Team Cohesion Effects on Business Game Performance