







































41

“Except That the Haunted, Hidden Thing Was Me”: 
Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting

Esther Wolfe, Ball State University

This paper examines motifs of ghostliness and haunting in representations of transsexuality, 
both in the violent and oppressive representations of transsexuality within a transphobic cul-
ture, and in the self-representation and narration of transsexuals themselves. Using scholar 
Avery Gordon’s definition of haunting—which characterizes haunting as the “knot” of oppres-
sion, self-representation, and knowledge production—this paper argues for the necessity of 
recognizing transsexual oppression as a form of cultural haunting.

“I	do	not	believe	in	ghosts,	although	I	have	seen	them	with	my	own	eyes.	This	isn’t	so	
strange,	really.	A	lot	of	people	feel	the	same	way	about	transsexuals.”	–Jennifer	Finney	
Boylan

“Back	then	I	knew	very	little	for	certain	about	whatever	it	was	that	afflicted	me,	but	I	did	
know	this	much:	that	in	order	to	survive,	I’d	have	to	become	something	like	a	ghost	myself,	
and	keep	the	nature	of	my	true	self	hidden.	And	so	I	haunted	that	young	body	of	mine….”	
–Jennifer	Finney	Boylan1

In 2013, Nathan Verhelst, a 44-year-old transsexual man, applied for euthanasia in Bel-
gium after a series of failed transition surgeries. After his death, Nathan’s mother, who in 
interviews refused to call him by his chosen name or use the male pronouns corresponding 
to his identity, told Belgium’s Het	Laatste	Nieuws, “When I first saw Nancy, my dream was 
shattered. She was so ugly. I had a ghost birth. Her death does not bother me” (Gayle).

In 2011, a transsexual author named Coco Papy published a blog post called “Ghosts of 
D.C.: Violence Against Trans Women in the Nation’s Capital,” detailing the city’s epidemic 
of unsolved shooting deaths of trans women. For Papy, the D.C. shootings of multiple trans 
women “[bring] into the light of day” the violence and repression faced by transsexuals. 
“Much like ghosts, these women’s experiences are continually relegated to the realm of 
make-believe…that these things just aren’t real. It’s all a ghost story.” Papy’s post ends with 
a call to action: “in the wake of what is a shamefully violent time in the city of Washington 
D.C., there is no longer a reason to blindly turn away.”

In her book, Ghostly	Matters:	Haunting	and	the	Sociological	Imagination, author Avery 
Gordon theorizes a complex definition of haunting. Haunting, Gordon claims, is an “expe-
riential modality,” a “sociopolitical-psychological state” characterized by multiple contexts. 

Notes
1. Both epigraphs and the quote in the title are taken from Jennifer Finney Boylan’s book, I’m Looking Through You: Growing up Haunted: A Memoir. The 
passage in the title appears on page 176; the epigraphs appear on page 107 and page 25.

Digital Literature Review, vol. 1 (2014).  © Ball State University. All Rights Reserved. 
Please direct all requests for permission to photocopy or reproduce critical edition to dlr@bsu.edu. 

mailto:dlr%40bsu.edu?subject=


42Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

In one aspect, haunting is “an animated state in which a repressed or unresolved social 
violence is making itself known” (xvi). Analyzing the historical examples of slavery and the 
Argentinian Dirty War, Gordon posits that haunting is a shared social and historical condi-
tion indicative and expressive of the traumatic violence and oppression of institutional or state 
power. By creating this condition, Gordon argues, haunting also becomes a tool of abusive 
systems of power to maintain oppressive control and manage populations through the circu-
lation of fear. In this way, haunting “always registers the harm inflicted or the loss sustained 
by a social violence done in the past or in the present” (xvi). This unresolved state of social 
violence and state power is one aspect that defines and interprets the experience of haunting.

However, for Gordon, this is not a complete definition. The repressive violence of state 
power that generates haunting, by “making itself known,” also forces action; it calls us to 
“see” what has been violently repressed because “the whole essence of a ghost is that it has 
a real presence, and demands its due, your attention” (xvi). This call to see and act “out of 
concern for justice” is also an act that defines the experience of haunting. By registering the 
presence of social violence, “haunting, unlike trauma, is distinctive for producing a ‘some-
thing to be done’” (xvi). According to Gordon, the presence of both repressive violence and 
self-representative, resistant action, of “force and meaning,” do not merely exist separate-
ly but simultaneously and circularly (xvi).  Together they form the “knot” or tension that 
makes up the experience of haunting itself.

This “knot” of repression and self-representation, of “force and meaning,” makes the so-
cial and cultural experience of haunting intimately tied to the production of knowledge. Out 
of this “knot,” haunting produces “subjugated knowledges” as defined by Michel Foucault. 
Subjugated knowledge “names on the one hand that which official knowledge represses 
within its own terms, institutions, and archives,” and on the other hand it also refers to “dis-
qualified, marginalized, fugitive knowledge from below and outside the institutions of offi-
cial knowledge production” (Gordon xvii). Haunting, the seething tangle of abusive power 
and resistance, produces similarly tangled epistemologies that respond to and dynamically 
create one another. Seeing haunting becomes a means by which to access “marginalized, 
disqualified, denied” and oppressed knowledge forms and also to identify the “modalities of 
power” of privileged forms of knowledge. “This way of seeing” says Gordon, “is transfor-
mative, maybe even revolutionary knowledge” (203). 

In this paper I excavate the intersections of transsexuality and cultural haunting. My 
goals are multiple. Firstly, I  address what I have come to view as a critical lack of dialogue 
between two fields that seem to have quite a lot to say to one another: that of theorizing 
haunting and theorizing transsexual subjectivity. Scholars of haunting as well as trans the-
orists and activists have moved concentrically for years, circling and overlapping, hearing 
each other’s echoes without ever being brought into direct conversation. Secondly, I argue, 
using the critical framework laid out by Gordon in Ghostly	Matters, for the recognition of 
the lived experiences of transsexuality as a form of cultural haunting. I will show that a mo-
tif of haunting and ghostliness is imbedded in social, political, and psychological represen-
tations of transsexuality. Ghostliness and spectrality can be found in a “knot” of transsexual 
haunting in both the abusive systems of power that oppress people who identify as trans-
sexual and in the expressive acts of transsexuals that create a “something to be done,” that 
force action and make meaning from their lives. Finally, I explore the relationship between 
the “knot” of transsexual oppression and self-representation with new forms of knowledge 
production. Specifically, I illuminate the ways in which transsexual cultural haunting pro-
duces “subjugated knowledge” of transsexual subjectivity—both oppressive forms of knowl-



43Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

edge production and new epistemologies that exist “outside” of these abusive institutions of 
epistemic practice.  

In this vein, this paper will explore the etymological implications of the term trans, the 
ghostliness of transsexual time and transsexual space, and the language of both transphobic 
hate speech and transsexual self-ascription. The paper then further emphasizes the para-
doxical “knot” of social violence and calls to action by detailing the institutional systems of 
repression and abuse faced by trans people. This section illuminates the spectral politics of 
visibility and erasure lived out through police brutality, corrective rapes, through the denial 
of access to shelter services, and through transsexual relationships to medical and psychi-
atric practice. The final section of the paper explore the experience of transsexual cultural 
haunting through its relationship to knowledge production. This section will explore the 
examples of transsexual transition photography and the emergence of the transsexual auto-
biography and memoir.

Reading and Writing the Transsexual Body: Transsexual Haunting at the 
Site of Language

“Haunting	was	the	language	by	which	I	tried	to	reach	an	understanding	of	force	and	
meaning”	(Gordon	xvi).

Some of the clearest representations of transsexuality as an experience of cultural haunting 
can be found at the site of language. A motif of ghostliness and haunting can be found in trans-
phobic hate speech, an institutional speech used to define and code transsexuality, and can also 
be found in the speech of trans people to represent themselves. Language is also fundamental-
ly tied to knowledge production, to the way we construct and understand being and the world. 
In this way, language forms a “knot,” a point of tension like that of haunting.

Language itself is also profoundly ghostly.  As the deconstructionist philosophers Jacques 
Derrida and Gilles Deleuze have noted, language constantly points out the instability of 
boundaries, doubling, displacing and deferring categories of meaning. What counts as lan-
guage definition and expression is also bound up in institutions of power. In this way, entering 
this analysis at the site of language allows us to see the “knot,” to begin to read and write 
experiences of transsexuality as a form of cultural haunting.

The term transsexual fundamentally refers to those whose gender identification does not 
correspond to their biological or genital sex. The application of this term is also spectral. 
Transsexuality can refer to “a variety of different identities…cross dressers, drag queens, 
and transsexuals” (Namaste 1) and is used both interchangeably and distinctly from the term 
“transgender.” In addition, some have argued that the term “transsexual” excludes gender 
non-conforming individuals who don’t identify as trans because of their cultural or economic 
backgrounds (Valentine 4). In addition, it is important to acknowledge that the term transsex-
ual is constituted within Western conceptions of gender, performance, and morality, and is not 
necessarily representative on a global scale. Indigenous and South East Asian communities, 
for example, conceptualize gender alterity and non-conformity out of different contexts and 
specific localities (Reddy 10).

The prefix trans- is inherently spectral. Trans- means both between and beyond, “to cross” 
(Online	Etymology	Dictionary) or “go through,” and also refers to being “on or to the other 
side of” or “into another state or place” (“etymology trans”). The ghostliness of trans can be 
found within these etymologies. “To cross” or “go through” implies the destabilization and 



44Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

transgression of a boundary. Similarly, to be both between and beyond is a paradoxical, limin-
al state, disrupting constructed categories of both time and place. To be both “on or to the other 
side of” and “into another state or place” also describes multiple states of being. To be “on or 
to the other side of” implies a state of actualization—a cohesive solidified, realized subject. 
“Into another state or place” implies a state of movement, a process of going there and getting 
to—an unrealized state of fragmentation and dissociation from the self. 

In this way, the prefix trans- alludes to a motif of spectrality within experiences of trans-
sexuality. The word trans echoes the way in which transsexual people cross and move through 
boundaries, destabilizing constructed categories of sex and gender. The prefix trans- also hints 
at embedded paradoxes within trans identification and expression. Transsexuality refers both 
to those whose gender presentation does not align with their biological sex, and to those who 
undergo a process of transitioning, including hormones and surgeries, to align their gender 
presentation with their physical bodies. In this way, transsexuality describes both a state of 
actualization, cohesion, and realization post-operation as well as a state of fragmentation and 
dissonance from the self—a state of going to and of transition itself.  This is further reinforced 
by the self-ascriptions of many transsexuals post-operation, who often refer to themselves not 
only as men and women, but also as transsexual men and transsexual women, and as male-to-
female transsexuals and female-to-male transsexuals. Here transsexual identification is rooted 
both in cohesive actualization of bodily identity in the fragmentation and displacement from 
the self from one’s gender identity. In this way, to be transsexual is to be both “on or to the 
other side of,” as well as “into another state or place” (“etymology trans”). To be transsexual is 
to be both between and beyond categories of sex and gender. 

Looking closely at common instances of transphobic hate speech also further reveals a 
motif of ghosts and haunting. Pushing on slurs like “freaks” unpacks a language of spectral-
ity imbedded in their etymologies and use. The slur freak is similarly rooted in spectrality. 
In its original usage, freak meant a “sudden turn of mind,” to “change [or] distort,” and also 
“to streak or fleck randomly” (Online	Etymology	Dictionary). Here, the meaning of freak 
invokes the transgression of a boundary: to change, to distort, to smear and to fleck, all 
reference distinctions and categories blurring in and out of one another, altering dimensions 
and lines. Even the term randomly relates to spectrality: to be random is to be outside of or 
disruptive to order.  In this way, the slur freak is fundamentally a condemnation of the way 
transsexuals are perceived to “turn,” “distort,” “change,” and “smear” categories of sex and 
gender (Online	Etymology	Dictionary).

Slurs themselves exist in the realm of spectrality and haunting. To slur refers not only to 
abuse through language but also to the blurring together of words, the act of passing over 
something in order to conceal it. To slur speech collapses boundaries of signification; slurring 
words blurs together and distorts meaning, changing the meaning of what signs are meant to 
represent.  In this way, the act of slurring parallels the spectrality of transsexual relationships to 
sex and gender. Transsexual people blur categories of gender and sex, changing the meaning 
of the signs that are constructed to correspond to them. In this way, transphobic hate speech 
refers to the slurring of the transsexual body in multiple forms, unpacking transsexual experi-
ences of cultural haunting.

In addition to its presence within transphobic hate speech, a motif of ghostliness and 
haunting can also be found in the language many transsexuals use to represent themselves 
and their own lived experiences. Perhaps the most literal representation of the ghostly themes 
within transsexual self-ascription is the autobiography I’m	Looking	Through	You:	Growing	
up	Haunted:	A	Memoir	by transsexual author Jennifer Finney Boylan. In her memoir, Boylan 



45Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

uses the memory of a haunted childhood home to parallel and contextualize her experiences 
of transsexual identity, which she refers to as growing up in a “haunted body,” and being a 
ghost herself (30). Boylan’s better-known memoir, She’s	Not	There:	A	Life	in	Two	Genders, 
utilizes a similar language of spectrality. As a transsexual woman, the phrase “she’s not there” 
dictates and narrates an experience of absent-presence. Like Boylan, many other transsexual 
authors describe the experience of transsexual identity using a language of fragmentation, 
displacement, and dissociation. Transsexual author Jay Prosser, in his book Second	Skins:	The	
Body	Narratives	of	Transsexuality, describes his experience of transsexuality, particularly the 
process of transitioning, as “a kind of deafening unspoken. In this gendered nonzone, I felt 
too embodied (only body) yet also disembodied: For what on earth did I embody?” (2). Here, 
Prosser’s description is inherently ghostly. “Deafening unspoken,” “gendered nonzone,” “too 
embodied…yet also disembodied” are paradoxes that invoke the collapse of boundaries, of 
being there and not there, visible and not-visible, being and not-being. This spectrality is also 
reflected in Prosser’s dissociative use of speech. In the sentence, “I felt too embodied (only 
body) yet also disembodied: For what on earth did I embody?” the presence of the parentheti-
cal “(only body),” the colon, the sudden shift to a question, and the suturing of several sen-
tences, create a sentence that performs the dislocation of the transsexual self from the subject 
and body. The use of the term embody is also spectral. To embody means both to provide with a 
physical form and also to symbolize (“etymology embody”). In this way, to embody reflects the 
paradoxical state of transsexual identification as both an actualized, cohesive state brought into 
physical form and a state of dissociation and fragmentation—the symbol of that identity. 

In addition to this spectral language, also common in transsexual representations are de-
scriptions of feeling as if one is in the wrong body. These descriptions are often accompanied 
by fantasies of excoriation, or to tear off or remove the skin (Prosser 68). Transsexual author 
Leslie Feinberg describes this in her autobiography, saying pre-transition: “I think how nice it 
would be to unzip my body from forehead to navel and go on vacation. But there is no escap-
ing it” (qtd. in Prosser 68). Another transsexual author says: “I used to look at my body and 
think it was a bit like a diver’s suit, it didn’t feel like me inside” (qtd. in Prosser 68). Here, the 
language of the wrong body also invokes a theme of spectrality, haunting, and ghostliness. The 
wrong body narrative designates an inner true body within an outer false one, fundamentally 
displacing the mythic whole of the self, creating profound dissociation and fragmentation: “I 
am not me,” “I am inside.” Descriptions of the wrong body rupture boundaries of inside and 
outside, embodied and disembodied, presence and absence, for what does it mean to be in the 
wrong body? In this way, the common self-representation of the wrong body within transsexu-
al narratives alludes to the haunting of the transsexual body.

Also prevalent in transsexual autobiographies is the appearance of mirror scenes, which, 
according to Prosser, “perpetuate transsexual narratives with remarkable consistency” (100).  
In his autobiography, transsexual author Mario Martino describes: “I saw my life as a series 
of distorted mirrors…I saw myself in their crazy reflections as a false image of myself. I 
was a boy!” (qtd. in Prosser 100). Mirror scenes are also present in Growing	Up	Haunted, in 
which Boylan describes a life of seeing the “ghost” of a woman in the mirror: “I saw there 
was someone in the mirror, an older woman with long blonde hair, wearing a white garment 
like a nightgown. Her eyes were a pair of small red stars. She seemed surprised to see me, and 
raised one hand to her mouth, as if I were the ghost, as if I were the one floating, translucently, 
in the mirror” (47). These mirror scenes also foreground the motif of ghostliness embedded in 
transsexual representation. The mirror scenes of transsexual narratives create a subversion of 
the Lacanian mirror stage. Rather than feeling united with their image in the mirror, the trans-



46Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

sexual person does not recognize their reflected self. Instead of a cohesive image, these mirror 
scenes reflect dissociation and fragmentation, an absent presence. What is seen in the mirror 
is simultaneously what is not there and what is not meant to be there. Mirrors themselves are 
inherently displacing and paradoxical, doubling and deferring the image, reflecting subject as 
object. In this way, the spectrality of mirror scenes in transsexual narratives literally mirrors 
that of the transsexual authors themselves. This is further reinforced by Boylan in Growing	up	
Haunted. At the conclusion of her memoir, she realizes that the ghost of a woman she had seen 
in the mirror was the image of her own haunted, secret self. 

These examples break analytic ground by allowing us to begin recognizing the knot of 
haunting embedded in the ghostly motifs of transsexual subjectivity. Entering analysis of 
transsexual haunting through the site of language also allows us to recognize the structures 
of institutional power and abuse that further characterize transsexuality as an experience of 
cultural haunting.

Invisible Lives: Transsexual Haunting and Institutional Repression
 
“Erasure	is	a	defining	condition	of	how	transsexuality	is	managed	in	culture	and	institu-

tions”	(Namaste	4).

Erasure Through Restricted Access to Social Services

One important way in which transsexuals experience institutional repression and abuse 
is through their restricted access to social service resources, particularly homeless shelters 
and women’s shelters. Transsexuals experience some of the highest rates of homelessness, 
poverty, and domestic abuse, creating an immediate need for homeless and women’s crisis 
services. However, transsexuals in immediate need of shelter services are often denied 
(Namaste 176). Homeless shelters that are willing to accept transsexuals often do so on the 
basis of the strict enforcement of heteronormative gender codes. Access to resources is con-
tingent upon transsexuals conforming to a gender presentation that is out of alignment with 
their transsexual identity. 

Transsexual women who seek domestic abuse services suffer similar treatment. Women’s 
shelters typically will only accept transsexual women if they are post-operative. Non-operative 
or pre-operative transsexual women are often turned away (Namaste 178). 

The guidelines for admittance into homeless and women’s shelters implicitly point to 
transsexual spectrality, to the deconstruction of categories and boundaries. By making access 
to women’s shelters dependent on post-operative status, institutions deny subjectivity to trans-
sexuals who are more transgressive to gender boundaries, granting partial subjectivity only 
to those who present sex and gender more cohesively within institutional binary. In addition, 
by making access to homeless shelters dependent on gender conformity, institutions attempt 
to recode and resolidify destabilized categories of sex and gender. In this way, the restricted 
access of transsexuals to social and shelter services further emphasizes transsexuality as an 
experience of cultural haunting.

Erasure in Medical and Psychiatric Practice

Transsexuals experience complex forms of erasure within psychological and medical study 
and methodology. Transsexuality is classified within the Diagnostic	and	Statistical	Manual	of	



47Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

Mental	Disorders (DSM) as gender identity disorder or gender dysphoria, and is considered a 
form of mental disorder within the field of psychology. The classification of transsexuality as 
a mental disorder has subsequently resulted in transsexuals having to submit to a diagnosis in 
order to begin receiving vital healthcare including hormones and surgeries to meet their health 
needs. Those who submit to a diagnosis in order to obtain vital health care must, according 
to Prosser, match a “master narrative” of transsexuality when talking to their doctors about their 
transsexual identity (104). Even in these cases, doctors will often refuse to administer hormones 
or will only agree to administer hormones with several documents of authorization from psychia-
trists, making them especially difficult to obtain legally.

A lack of trans positive physicians also results in many doctors having a limited knowledge 
of the effects of hormones with relation to transsexual healthcare. As a result, many transsexuals 
are far more knowledgeable on the effects of hormones on their own bodies than the physicians 
treating them. Because of this, transsexuals “often educate their doctors about hormones at the 
beginning of the patient-doctor relationship as well as throughout their treatment” (Prosser 167). 

The status of transsexuals within medical and psychiatric institutions of power creates a 
complex play of oppression and subjectivity. Transsexuals are forced to submit to a diagnosis 
of a mental disorder in order to meet their vital and immediate healthcare needs, must submit 
to a script of transsexuality in order to receive hormones, and are often treated by physicians 
who know less about the effects of hormones on their own bodies. These structures objectify 
trans people and are forms of institutional repression, attempts to control and manage their 
transgressive destabilization of categories of gender and sex. However, transsexuals carefully 
anticipate and perform this master narrative in order to actualize themselves, and actively in-
struct their doctors on their healthcare needs, subtly forming and influencing the oppressive in-
stitutional structures they must navigate in order to survive. This complex dynamic of erasure 
and subjectivity is also imbedded in the term disorder, which refers both to the breakdown of 
category as well as to the active, constituting act of disordering itself. In this way, the dy-
namics of psychological and medical practice reveal complex, knotted plays of visibility and 
erasure, oppression, and subjectivity that further emphasize transsexuality as an experience of 
cultural haunting as per Gordon’s definition. 

Erasure Through Physical Violence 

Perhaps the clearest, most literal examples of transsexuality as a form of cultural haunting 
can be found in transsexual experiences of violence. Information on violence against trans-
sexual people is inherently ghostly. Due to the oppressive institutional systems in place, few 
crimes against transsexuals are reported. This can be practically attributed to the high rates of 
police harassment and brutality suffered by transsexuals, as well as to the shared fear of being 
imprisoned in a holding cell that does not correspond to their gender identification. In addition, 
traditional means of assessing rates of violence often do not account for the unique conditions 
of transsexuality. Surveys of violence against LGBTQ persons, for example, disappear the 
presence of violence against transsexuals within the data of other groups. Similarly, theoriza-
tions of violence against LGBTQ persons, including queerbashing and gaybashing, only take 
into account motivations for hate crime violence linked to sexual orientation. This also renders 
violence against transsexuals invisible by not taking into account gender identity and presen-
tation in motivations for hate crimes. However, even with many representations of violence 
rendered all but invisible, Human Rights Watch estimates that one in twelve transsexuals is 
murdered, and that other rates of violence, including assaults, rapes, and suicides, are some of 



48Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

the highest of any marginalized group (Giovanniello 1). 
One act of violence that particularly emphasizes transsexual spectrality is that of corrective 

rape. During hate crimes, corrective rape is often used against female-to-male transsexuals 
with the intent of “showing them they are women,” such as in the case of transsexual Bran-
don Teena (Halberstam 66). The heinous violence of corrective rape is a violent solidification 
of boundaries of sex and gender. The rapist aims to violently impose and reassert categories 
of sex and gender onto the body (and specifically the female body) that has transgressed and 
destabilized those boundaries. In this way, corrective rape is a violent, traumatic, and oppres-
sive re-ordering of boundaries of sex and gender that are perceived as having been disordered. 
In this way, violence against transsexuals exists as a spectral absent-presence with transsexuals 
literally and figuratively disappearing within the abusive systems that repress them.

Subjugated Knowledge: Transsexual Haunting and New Epistemic Forms

“The	only	theory	I	trust	is	a	story”	(Boylan	25).

Having detailed the knot of institutional oppression and self-representation that makes up 
cultural experiences of transsexual haunting, we now move into the relationship of transsexual 
haunting to the production of new forms of knowledge. 

One such knowledge form is the representation of transsexual subjectivity in photography. 
Of particular interest here is the development of transsexual transition photography. In tran-
sition photography, the process of physical transitioning is captured in images arranged in 
sequence. By representing the linear process of transitioning, we recognize the realized trans-
sexual body that emerges post-transition. However, the representation of transsexual identity 
in transition photography introduces a ghostly paradox. According to Prosser, the effect of 
transition photography “is double: photographs demand that we concede that transsexuality 
makes a thorough difference to the body and yet…that we discover consistent and continuous 
identity in that very place of alterity” (75). To recognize the cohesive realization of transsexual 
subjectivity, we must simultaneously recognize its fragmentation. 

The temporality of transition photography is similarly paradoxical. To recognize the sup-
posed linearity of transition requires the presence of the sequence and requires the constant, si-
multaneous presence of the past. To contextualize and recognize the linearity of transition, one 
must always look back. In this way, to recognize what is requires the constant deferral to what 
once was but is no longer there. Transsexual transition photography captures the simultaneous 
definitions of transsexual identity, representing both the realized, cohesive, actualized form as well 
as the fragmented, dissociated self. Transsexual transition photography is, in many ways, a method 
of photographing ghosts, a means of theorizing the ambiguities of transsexual subjectivity.

Another new form of knowledge production is the rapidly growing genre of transsexual 
autobiography/memoir. According to Prosser—in answer to the question “Why do so many 
transsexuals write autobiographies?”—“Autobiography brings into relief the split of the trans-
sexual life…the difference present in all autobiography between the subject of enunciation and 
the subject of enunciating. I was a woman, I write as a man, how to join this split? Precisely 
through narrative” (102). In this way, autobiography creates a paradox similar to that of transi-
tion photography, presenting both the cohesive subject and the object of dissociation and pre-
senting linearity through the simultaneous, constant presence of the past. Autobiography itself 
is a spectral form, blurring categories of fact and fiction, subject and object, past and present 
and lending itself to the representation of transsexual stories. In many ways, the transsexual 



49Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

autobiography—in the act of memory—is a literal act of “re-membering” the dissociated, 
displaced self. This is represented almost literally in Boylan’s Growing	up	Haunted. At the end 
of her memoir, having completed transition and finally recognized the ghost in the mirror as 
her own self, she says, “against all odds, I had become solid” (249).

Although no work has previously been done on the intersections of haunting and transsex-
uality, a prominent motif of ghostliness in conceptions of transsexual subjectivity suggests the 
presence of something seething and significant at work. Reading transsexual identities and 
experiences through Avery Gordon’s definition in Ghostly	Matters	as the knot of oppression 
and self-representation creates new forms of knowledge production; we encounter transsexu-
ality as a form of cultural haunting. There are several reasons why recognizing transsexuality 
as a form of cultural haunting may be important. Recognizing a haunting gives communities 
another means by which to recognize abusive systems of power in their lives, to suddenly 
name and identify oppressions against transsexuals they didn’t realize were being felt, and felt 
deeply. Naming haunting, seeing ghosts, also provides another way to force action, to create a 
“something to be done” for transsexual justice (Gordon xvi). In addition, recognizing cultur-
al hauntings creates opportunities for new forms of knowledge production that theorize the 
complexities of transsexual subjectivity, as well as provide new access to previously existing 
forms of subjugated knowledge. Finally, as Gordon points out, “the ghostly aspects of social 
life are not abberations, but are central to modernity itself” (197). Theorizing transsexuality as 
a form of cultural haunting and recognizing its ghostly aspects is a key part of understanding 
our contemporary world. Ultimately, however, the most necessary reason to continue the work 
of recognizing transsexuality as a form of cultural haunting can be summarized by Gordon 
herself. It is “because ultimately haunting is about how to transform a shadow of a life into an 
undiminished life whose shadows touch softly in the spirit of peaceful reconciliation” (208). 
For transsexuals, the reality of living a shadow of a life is an immediate, violent crisis. The 
work of creating the means to live an undiminished life is a vital and life-affirming need. 



50Ghostly Matters and Transsexual Haunting, Wolfe

Works Cited

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