Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4, 542-xx 2024 Publisher: Learning Gate DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1147 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate * Correspondence: drrajendrakumarshah@gmail.com Dear teachers, Do you know? The era of teaching is over, only learning prevails Rajendra Kumar Shah1*, Samjhana Basnyat2 1Faculty of Education Head of the Department (HOD) Department of Foundation of Education, Tribhuvan University Sanothimi Campus, Nepal; drrajendrakumarshah@gmail.com (R.K.S.). 2Faculty of Education Head of the Department (HOD), Department of EPM, Tribhuvan University Sanothimi Campus, Nepal; basnyatsamjhana@gmail.com (S.B.). Abstract: Traditional teacher-centered teaching causes significant difficulties for both teachers and students. In this model, the teacher is active, delivering knowledge, while the student remains passive, attempting to absorb it. This approach often results in frustration for students as they struggle to memorize the teacher's words without truly understanding the subject matters. Traditional teaching methods not only cause suffering and pain for both teachers and students, but they also stifle students' creativity. These methods promote rote memorization of the teacher's words. Therefore, it is urgent to replace traditional teaching with more effective learner centred approaches. The main objective of this study is to analyze the pain, suffering, and challenges I faced with traditional teaching methods and how these experiences prompted changes in my pedagogy. I used multiple paradigms, and autoethnography as a strategy of inquiry, which combines personal experience and writing. I selected three participants based on their availability and willingness to be interviewed: a former colleague who teaches social studies and two of my former social studies students. In this study, I present my teaching experiences at the school level in the first section and at the university level in the second section. Initially, while teaching at the school level, I adopted traditional teacher centred teaching methods. Gradually, I recognized the weaknesses in these methods. Despite this realization, my teaching approach remained teacher-centered during my time at the school level. When I began teaching at the university level, I realized the need to improve my pedagogical practices. Consequently, I adapted my pedagogical practices to meet the needs of the students. This student-centered teaching method enabled the development of the knowledge, skills, and competencies I aimed to cultivate in them. Keywords: Conventional teaching, Effective teaching, Learner centred teaching, Pedagogy, Rote learning; 1. Introduction 1.1. My Journey towards Primary School as Student: Death at the Early Age (Kozol, 1967) I was born in a remote place in a remote district. But fortunately, when I was old enough to go to school, there was a school up to the lower secondary level in my native place. After reaching school age, I joined school and started studying in grade one. At that time, when I was studying in grade one, I had to study social studies as well. Unfortunately, despite the establishment of the school, there were no qualified, skilled and trained teachers to teach in the school. There was a shortage of teachers in the school. There was also a lack of teachers teaching subjects like social studies. Any teacher used to teach this subject. As far as I remember, there was a severe shortage of teachers in the school Shah, (2020). There was also a shortage of teachers who taught very important subjects like social studies. This subject was neglected and taught by any teacher. Even today, this subject is taught without understanding the meaning, importance and sensitivity of it. https://orcid.org/0000-0003-0533-1338 https://orcid.org/0009-0009-1328-2717 528 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate When I was involved in the teaching learning process. Gradually, all the students, including me, started getting familiar with the school. But the teacher's classroom delivery makes us very upset. The teacher's long narration of the contents makes us bored. In this way, teachers explained the content all day long and we had to listen to the narration of the contents quietly as listener, so it makes us, good listener, lazy, dull and inactive. An important feature of traditionalist education is only sonority (Freire, 1970). This education has no transformative power at all. According to the concept of conventional education, learning is the ability of students to memorize the content taught by the teacher. Most of the teachers, follow this vision of conventional teaching learning in their classroom delivery. I am very lucky as my comprehension of the notion was supported by the metaphor for conventional teaching embodied in "A story of conventional teaching learning process told to me by a school teacher". The metaphor of conventional teaching in primary school classroom 1.2. A Village Teacher's Tale Long ago, a teacher named Hari used to teach at primary school in a village. That teacher always used to go to the class room with a baton in hand. His posture was very stubborn and children looked very scared. His voice was also loud and he used to teach the students by reciting the text so that the whole village could hear it. The people of the village considered that teacher as the best teacher in the school. Once again, the teacher went to the class with a stick. He has placed a stick in front of the classroom so that the students can see it. After that, everyone will be asked to read the lesson taught yesterday. The students also opened their books and started reading yesterday's lesson out of fear of the teacher. The teacher falls asleep in the chair after a while. Coincidentally, school inspectors from the head office came to that school at that time. After that, they went near the teacher who was sleeping on the chair and asked why he was sleeping without teaching. The teacher was clever and managed to figure out that they had come to check out the school that questioned him. Therefore, he pretended to be asleep for some time without answering the questions of the school inspectors. After some time, the teacher said: Teacher: Do you understand, the sages of those days used to meditate for years and gain knowledge just like I meditate now? Since we only have a short time, I meditated for a while. Students: Got it sir. Teacher: The school inspector has come. Hello sirs, students. School inspectors are confused about what to do and what to say. The situation at our school is quite similar. The teacher would take the students to an open field and lie down in the middle while instructing the students to read. He would reprimand or beat any student who did not study until he fell asleep. Once the teacher was asleep, the students would talk amongst themselves to avoid being noticed. Upon the teacher waking up, the students would resume studying. In this manner, the lesson for the day would be completed. This reflects the classroom delivery scenario at our school. We were required to memorize the facts presented in the textbooks and taught by the teacher. For instance, we memorized statements from our social studies books such as "Hari Bahadur's occupation is agriculture." It was not acceptable to write that another Hari Bahadur was engaged in business, as the exam specifically asked for Hari Bahadur's occupation according to the textbook. Any student who wrote that Hari Bahadur's occupation was business would fail the exam. Moreover, questioning the teacher's lessons or the content of the textbooks was considered almost criminal. We recited "Hari Bahadur's profession is agriculture" without truly understanding the meaning of the word "profession." This teaching method transformed us into mere repositories of information. The teachers filled our minds with their instructions and teachings, and we had no right to modify or deviate from what was imparted. The content in the textbooks and the teacher's words were treated as unquestionable truths. This approach to teaching and learning left us with no room for critical thinking or personal input, as if the teacher's words were divine edicts. 529 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate Education thus becomes an act of deposit in which the students are the depositors and the teacher is the depositor. The teacher deposits knowledge, the student patiently receives, memorizes, and repeats it. This is the traditional concept of education in which students have the opportunity to receive, file and securely store deposits of transferred knowledge. But finally, students in this system do not remain human and remain as a repository in the absence of creativity, transformation and knowledge. The reason for this is that without curiosity, thinking and action-oriented behavior, a person cannot truly become a person. 'Knowledge is built through invention and reinvention, and through the restless, impatient, ever-hopeful curiosity that human beings are active in the world, with the world, and with each other for its fulfillment' (Freire, 1970). We were taught in primary school on the basis of traditional notions of education. There are certain premises of this philosophy. In this concept, the teacher teaches and the student are taught (Freire, 1970). What this means is that only the teacher knows everything but the student knows nothing. A teacher is a knower of knowledge and a student is a person who has no knowledge. So, the teacher describes and the students listen politely (Freire, 1970). On the other hand, teachers take the right to knowledge as their professional right and teachers use it against the freedom of students. The teacher is the doer of the teaching learning process and the student is only the object of that educative process. Teaching learning was done at the primary school based on these values, beliefs and principles. If we analyze the relationship between teacher and student in this teaching learning process of the conventional classroom, the fundamental character of this relationship is narrative (Freire, 1970). In this relationship, on the one hand, the narrative subject (teacher) and on the other hand, the victim student are involved. In the process of narration, the subject matters delivered tend to be lifeless, desolate, dull, auspicious and frightening. Actually, all contents are taught and explained through the process of narration. In fact, education is suffering from a narration sickness (Freire, 1970). Thus, it is not wrong to say that children die at an early age because of schools. In his 1967 work, Kozol critiques the education system for its systemic racism and profound inequities, particularly in the treatment of children in public schools. He exposes the dehumanizing conditions these children face, including physical and emotional abuse, neglect, and the severe lack of resources and support. Kozol argues that these practices stifle the potential and self-worth of Black students, calling for urgent reforms to create a more equitable, humane, and inclusive educational environment. 1.3. My Secondary School Journey as Student: School is Dead (Reimer, 1971) What I hoped was that whatever my primary and lower secondary level education was, my secondary education would be better. With this hope and expectation, I enrolled in a secondary school far away from home. The condition of the secondary school I joined was worse than the previous primary school. The number of teachers was not sufficient. The teachers in the school were very conservative. At the same time, those teachers were untrained, unskilled and unqualified who did not have enough knowledge on content, pedagogy and assessment. The school lacked adequate play space and proper drainage and an aesthetically pleasing environment. There was no library, laboratory, craft workshop, community room, office room, teacher's common room. The school classrooms also lacked floor mats and individual writing boards. The school had normal desks and benches. But such desk benches were not available in all the rooms. Chalk boards, bulletin boards, teacher's desks and chairs, and other equipment were lacking. The school did not have the necessary equipment in the classroom and the school premises did not have enough sports equipment, garden, suitable environment. All-round development of children was not possible in such kind of teaching learning environment. The development of children's critical thinking was not possible. The teacher never had a dialogue with the students in the classroom. The one-way communication of the teachers did not create curiosity in us nor did it motivate us to think and think about the subject matter. The metaphor of "A journey in the right direction" 530 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate 1.4. A Journey in the Right Direction A man like a wrestler got off at a station in the city. He told a taxi driver - I want to go to Pashupatinath temple. How much is the fare there? The driver politely replied - It costs two hundred rupees. The gentleman said, -"You are trying to rob a simple person from the village. I will carry my bag and walk there". The gentleman went on his way with the bag. Even after walking for a long time, he could not reach his destination. Also, he had no idea how far the destination was. After walking for a while, he met the same taxi driver again. He said to the driver, "Guruji, now I have crossed more than half the road by walking. Now, how much do you charge to go to Pashupatinath temple ?" The taxi driver smiled and answered politely as before, "Now it costs 400 rupees to reach the temple, sir". After hearing the driver's answer, the gentleman asked in surprise - 200 before, now after crossing half way, 400 rupees, why such a robbery ?" The taxi driver smiled again and replied, "Sir, you are not walking in the direction of the Pashupatinath temple, but in the opposite direction. The temple is on one side and you are running on the other side". And, after hearing the driver's answer of 400 rupees, the man sat quietly in the taxi without saying anything. The teaching learning process at the secondary school I attended was highly traditional and misguided. In this conventional pedagogical model, knowledge is viewed as a gift bestowed by a teacher, who considers themselves knowledgeable, upon a student deemed entirely ignorant. This perspective aligns with the oppressor's ideology, which regards others as profoundly ignorant and thus rejects the idea of education as a dynamic process of invention and reinvention. The teacher positions themselves as the opposite pole to the student, justifying their existence by considering the student supremely ignorant. Additionally, the school lacked adequate classrooms, as the building was still under construction. Due to this shortage, most classes were conducted outdoors. During the rainy season, it was customary to declare holidays. The school had only eight rooms for classes spanning grades one to ten, with one room serving as the principal's office and another for storing official supplies. Consequently, most students were taught in the open field. Groups of thirty to forty students would sit in a circle, with the teacher positioned in the center. In the lower grades, the teacher would read aloud from the textbook, and the students would repeat after them. In the upper grades, the teacher would read the text aloud and then provide an extensive explanation of its meaning. The teacher's lengthy and exhausting lectures often caused us to fall asleep in class. These lectures were devoid of student interest, desires, or maturity, serving merely as displays of the teacher's arrogance and pride. They focused on delivering content in an entertaining manner rather than fostering societal transformation. This approach led students to mechanically memorize information, reducing them to passive receptacles that teachers must fill. As Paulo Freire (1970) observed, the more teachers fill students, the more effective they consider themselves, perpetuating a cycle of passive learning. English subjects were taught by teachers who had studied commerce in university level. Agricultural science was also taught by the same teachers who studied commerce. In this school, there were no teachers for humanities and social sciences subjects such as history and geography which are directly related to human life which can contribute a lot in the transformation of society and human life. Once the teacher who had studied Sanskrit language taught the subject of agriculture. Today, I wonder what knowledge I have gained by studying agriculture science and how I passed this subject in the SLC exam. In "School is Dead" (1971), Reimer presents a radical critique of traditional educational systems, arguing that schools as institutions are fundamentally flawed and fail to address the true needs of learners. He contends that formal schooling stifles creativity, promotes conformity, and perpetuates social inequalities. Reimer advocates for the dismantling of conventional schools in favor of more flexible, learner-centered approaches that encourage self-directed education and lifelong learning. His work challenges readers to rethink the purpose of education and explore alternative models that better support individual growth and societal progress. 531 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate 1.5. My University Study: (Re)Deschooling Society (Illich, 1971) After passing SLC (Class 10), the way to study in the university was open. I came to the capital Kathmandu to study higher education. After joining the college, I started to get used to teaching and learning process of the classroom. But the condition of classroom delivery in the college was very pathetic and disgusting. The modern building of the college where I was studying was under construction. But the narrow, crowded and chaotic classrooms, arrogant and scary teachers, crowded groups of students brought a new wave in my mind. The college classrooms did not have good and adequate desks and benches for the students to sit on. In order for any student to get into the first and second bench, he had to reach the college early. Only the students sitting in the front could hear what the teachers were explaining. The teachers never discuss, interact and communicate with the students about the subject matters. What was even more shocking was that in most of the subjects the teachers used to write notes. In this way, if the students write notes, the teachers do not have to work hard and do not have to discuss with the students. But its impact was directly on the students. This destroys critical thinking in students and makes them dependent. 'Students are considered to be adaptable and manageable in notion' (Freire, 1970). The more students work to store the deposits entrusted to them; the less critical consciousness develops as a result of their interventions in the world as world transformers. 'The more fully they accept the role of passivity imposed on them, the more easily they assimilate the world as it is and adapt themselves to the fragmented view of reality imposed on them' (Freire, 1970). This conventional education eliminates the criticality of the students and increases the tendency to believe immediately. Therefore, this concept becomes an instrument for the benefit of the traditional teacher who neither thinks that the reality of the world should come before people nor wants it to be transformed. The metaphor of "What should my son learn?" 1.6. What Should My Son Learn? Mr. Principal, Let my son learn that not all people are the same. There are evil people in the society and there are also gentlemen, there are selfish politicians and there are honest and dedicated leaders. Similarly, there are enemies and there are also friends. It will take time to explain this to him, but let him know that a hard-earned dollar is worth more than five free dollars. Let him understand well what is victory and defeat, honor and disgrace. Give him some time to understand the eternal mystery of birds flying in the sky, bees buzzing on sunny days and flowers blooming in the lap of the mountains. My son should not have the tendency to follow wherever he is. Be able to distinguish what you hear well. May you be able to remain cheerful even in times of sorrow and distress. Let him know that it is not a shame to have tears in your eyes sometimes. Let him believe in his wisdom and strength. If any objective is justified, then be ready to endure any storm of opposition and carry on with courage. Let him develop courage and strong will to fight for truth and justice. Be gentle with him, but don't let him step on anyone's head. Remember, iron is forged from the flame. May he always have courage and a desire to do something. May my son himself be inspired to be fearless, courageous and enthusiastic and only then can he be gentle and faithful towards humanity. 1.7. Abraham Lincoln, White House, Washington Teachers who use the conventional concept of teaching learning knowingly or unknowingly forget to see that their whole teaching is full of contradictions about reality. But this conflict may sooner or later turn the student, hitherto inactive, and indeed towards his subjugation. The logical conclusion of the convention concept of education is that the teacher's role is to regulate the way the world enters the student's mind. His job is to organize a process that is already running smoothly. In this process, the teacher fills the student's mind with the storehouse of information that he considers to be true knowledge. In this way, humans perceive the world as a passive thing. So, education makes them more active and adapts to the world. An educated man is an adapted man because he is more suitable for the 532 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate world. This concept, if put into practice, is suitable for the purposes of the conventional teacher. Because their happiness depends on how well students fits into the world they have built and how little he questions the world. "Deschooling Society" (1971) by Ivan Illich presents a radical critique of institutionalized education and calls for the deconstruction of traditional schooling systems. Illich argues that schools have become oppressive institutions that hinder genuine learning and personal development. He proposes replacing formal schooling with a decentralized network of learning opportunities that empower individuals to pursue education according to their own interests and abilities. Illich advocates for a society where learning is liberated from institutional constraints, fostering creativity, autonomy, and meaningful engagement with knowledge. His vision emphasizes self-directed learning, community-based education, and the democratization of knowledge production and dissemination. 2. Research Questions • How painful and challenging was my school experience as a student in a conventional, teacher- centered teaching environment? • How did I shift my pedagogical practices from conventional values, beliefs, and culture to embrace more effective pedagogical practices? 3. Research Methodology In this study, I employed three paradigms: interpretivism, criticalism, and postmodernism. These paradigms highlight the existence of multiple realities (relativist ontology) and prioritize subjective knowledge (epistemology emphasizing co-creation of understanding between knower and subject) (Denzin & Lincoln, 2005). They acknowledge that observation and research are influenced by values, shaped by experience and context, and advocate for research driven by emancipatory values (Richardson, 1995). As an interpretive researcher, guided by constructivist epistemology, I sought to understand phenomena by adopting others' perspectives, eschewing explanations based on measurements or strict cause-effect relationships. This approach facilitated the development of my subjectivity in shaping the inquiry process, leading to a contextually informed understanding of people's thoughts, beliefs, norms, values, and associated social actions (Taylor & Medina, 2011). In my research, interpretivism guided me to understand phenomena by adopting others' perspectives, moving away from explaining behavior solely through measurements or rigid cause-effect rules (Reed-Danahay, 1997). This approach, grounded in constructivist epistemology, allowed me to shape my inquiry subjectively, leading to a nuanced understanding of people's thoughts, beliefs, norms, values, and social actions (Taylor & Medina, 2011). Additionally, the criticalism paradigm facilitated my development of critical consciousness (Brookfield, 2000) and engagement in 'deep democracy' (Kincheloe & McLaren, 2000). It involved identifying and transforming unjust social structures, norms, values, policies, and practices, addressing political, social, and economic issues that perpetuate oppression and power imbalances. This transformative approach, rooted in transactional epistemology and historical realism, aims to confront social injustice and enhance social justice. Lastly, the postmodernism paradigm enriched my research by offering diverse modes of inquiry, contributing pluralism and dynamism to my work as an autoethnographer (Taylor, 2013). Postmodernism's holistic approach enhances understanding and meaning in discussions of events or phenomena. 4. Research Strategy In the present study, I employed autoethnography, a methodological approach that integrates personal experience ('auto'), sociocultural context ('ethno'), and the method of writing ('graphy'). Autoethnography encompasses three distinct genres: 'native anthropology,' where researchers explore their own cultural context; 'ethnic autobiography,' where minority group members share their personal narratives; and 'autobiographical ethnography,' where anthropologists enrich ethnographic writing with 533 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate personal insights (Reed-Danahay, 1997; Ellis et al., 2011; Wolcott, 1983). This approach intertwines the dimensions of self, culture, and the research process, highlighting the researcher's dual roles as both observer and participant in understanding socio-cultural contexts (Chang, 2008; Ellis & Bochner, 2000; Walls, 2006). Autoethnography serves as a valuable tool for professionals in fields reliant on human relations and cultural understanding, such as social work, education, and counseling (Creswell, 2002; Van Maanen, 1995). This method involves ethnography where I integrate personal experiences with broader cultural, social, and political interpretations. Focusing on my school life, particularly pedagogical practices, I critically examined my educational experiences and linked them to their cultural, social, and political contexts. Reflecting on one's past is integral to human life, an immutable reality that shapes our present enjoyment and uncertain future. Understanding and evaluating these life stages - elementary, lower secondary, and high school - within their cultural, social, and political contexts is crucial for navigating life successfully. While these experiences have enriched my life and provided positive lessons, they have also brought challenges, pain, suffering, and hardship. These mixed emotions and experiences from past education hold specific cultural, political, and social meanings and implications. In this study, I have examined the classroom teaching and learning practices, cultural beliefs, and experiences from my school life. I utilized personal experiences to critique both the culture and pedagogical practices, particularly focusing on the rote learning prevalent during my primary education and its implications. Additionally, I analyzed my relationships with peers within the school's learning environment, critiquing their interactions with teachers and the resulting dynamics of enthusiasm, emotion, and passion. Employing deep self-reflection or reflexivity, I critically evaluated the school-level teaching-learning culture. Reflexivity involved acknowledging and scrutinizing my societal position and privileges, using narratives to challenge long-standing silences on power dynamics, relationships, cultural norms, and marginalized experiences. Specifically, I explored and categorized relationships between self and classmates, examining their broader implications, both personal and political. This study also delved into questions surrounding classroom learning processes, the nature of learning itself, and the lived experiences shaped by those processes. It aimed to shed light on the meaning and challenges inherent in the learning journey. A key objective of this research was to critically assess the traditional teacher-centered approach's failure to foster social justice in classrooms. It uncovered how this method often reinforced teacher dominance and led to injustices against students. Furthermore, the study explored the potential for students to drive social transformation through independent learning, and investigated alternative teaching methods that could promote social justice in education. Balancing methodological rigor with intellectual and creative expression, this study presents the struggles of my student life as a narrative. By incorporating storytelling, it aims to engage readers in critically examining teaching and learning practices through narrative exploration, fostering a deeper understanding of these dynamics. 5. Research Methods Data were produced, processed and portrayed by employing two methods: writing as narrative inquiry and semi-structured interviews. 5.1. Semi-Structured Interviews Anderson and Arsenault (1998) defined interviewing as a process of obtaining details of personal information from an interaction between two individuals. Creswell (2008) added that interviews are suitable for participants who are not hesitant to speak. In this study, I selected three participants based on their availability and willingness to be interviewed (White, 1998; Patton, 2002; Cohen et al., 2008): a social studies teacher who was a former colleague, and two of my former social studies subject students. Guided by ethical procedures as proposed by Cresswell (2008), I conducted semi-structured interviews with my participants to obtain accounts of their experiences related to the issues being investigated. An audio recorder and note pad were used to assist me to record the conversations (Creswell, 2002). 534 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate 5.2. Writing as Narrative Inquiry Narrative writing is a way to engage one’s readers to experience vicariously situations that the writer has lived in. Writing self-narratives interweaves the researcher’s self with strangers, friends or acquaintances (Patton, 2002). This method was extremely valuable for more deeply and critically understanding myself and others related to me. Chang (2008) claimed that narrative can be written in various genres, such as poetry, dialogue, memoirs, journals, personal essays and letters. Chang added that these methods are suitable for autoethnographic designs as they are written chronologically and comprehensively to represent lives of the persons involved. I used a self-narrative method to unveil my past experiences as a learner during my secondary schooling and as an in-service teacher, which served as the main data sources for this study. I also explored my in-service teaching experience to give a better view of the hegemony and critical pedagogy that I was investigating. I constructed the self- narratives using confessional and impressionistic genres (Pentland, 1999; Van Maanen, 1988). 5.3. Being an Auto/Ethnographer in the Field As an autoethnographer, my research field encompasses the contexts and places within my narratives. I assumed dual roles: autobiographer and ethnographer (Denzin & Lincoln, 2000). As an autobiographer, I narrated my personal and professional experiences and contradictions as data (Ellis & Bochner, 2000; Fitzclarence & Hickey, 1999; Malin, 1999). As an ethnographer, I immersed myself in the research field - schools - with students as key participants, along with parents, teachers, and the headteacher, to capture their experiences and contradictions as data (Denzin, 1997). The study was conducted at a community school in Bhaktapur with students from grades VIII and X. Data was collected through informal conversations and interviews in various settings like classrooms, corridors, the canteen, and the playground (Ellis, 1997). I also interacted with parents, colleague teachers, and the headteacher. Data collection methods included field notes, photographs, videos, and social media (e.g., Facebook), which were transcribed into journals. I critically reflected on my role as an autoethnographer throughout the research process. Additionally, I collected stories related to my pedagogical practices, where my subjectivity - thoughts, feelings, and observations - helped me understand social contexts (Arendt, 1990). I interpreted these stories to derive meaning, with the data representing my subjective experiences. This approach enabled me to explain and critique the social contexts and phenomena associated with my pedagogical practices and envision the pedagogical possibilities in my professional life (Ellis & Bochner, 1996). 5.4. My Pedagogical Practices Over the past two decades, I have witnessed a significant transformation in my classroom delivery. Initially, I had little understanding of how children learn or how to enhance the learning process. Reflecting on my own educational journey, I am amazed at how I managed to progress. I relied heavily on rote memorization, regurgitating textbook content in exams to pass my classes. This approach influenced my teaching philosophy, which initially centered on the belief that education was about students memorizing textbook content. However, over time, this perspective evolved. The following sections explore and reflect upon these themes in greater depth. 5.6. Rote Learning My Priority at Primary School: Death at The Early Age I was unaware of effective teaching methods until I became a primary school teacher. I believed that teaching involved helping students memorize the textbook content I presented. Consequently, I saw it as the teacher's duty to explain textbook material clearly and ensure students understood and memorized it. This notion was prevalent in the education sector. The conventional view of education posits that a teacher's role is to regulate the process of introducing the world into the student's mind. The teacher's job is to organize and manage a smoothly 535 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate running process, filling the student's mind with information deemed true knowledge. In this view, individuals perceive the world passively, and education makes them more active and adaptable to it. An educated person is considered well-adapted because they better fit into the world. This concept aligns with the traditional notion of education, which suggests that individual happiness depends on how well one integrates into the established world and how little one questions it. In this context, during the interview, one of my colleagues shared the same experience as me: I did not have the opportunity to teach in primary school for an extended period. However, during the time I did teach, my focus was solely on helping students memorize textbook content. At that time, primary education included subjects such as English, Nepali, Social Studies, and Mathematics. In Nepali classes, I would read poems aloud with rhythm or have students read them, followed by an explanation of the poem's meaning. Similarly, I would read stories to the students and explain their meanings. This method was also applied to other lessons, ensuring students memorized the material. This approach was primarily used for teaching Nepali and various aspects of the Nepali subject. The traditional concept of education ends the critical ability of students. Rather, it increases the tendency of children to immediately believe anything the teacher tells them. Therefore, it does not help students to develop debating ability, critical ability, thinking ability. This concept restricts the attempts to understand the contents written in the textbook in a critical manner. Instead, it considers teachers and textbooks as the authoritative source of knowledge. By imbibing this concept, I taught students at the primary level. Other subjects such as mathematics and English were also taught using the same method. But I also taught my favorite social studies subject in this way. If the students recited the contents of a subject by heart or if they wrote in a copy, I considered them to be successful students. 5.7. My Journey as a Secondary School Teacher: School Is Dead After I passed graduation in commerce, I also passed graduation in education. I had the opportunity to study about teaching methods and principles of teaching learning in the subject of teaching methods at the undergraduate level. But there was no practical knowledge about how to use those principles in the classroom. Therefore, I used the traditional teaching method in secondary level teaching as well. My colleague reported me: I used to teach social studies at secondary level. I studied about learner-centered teaching methods in teaching methods subject. But that was only theoretical knowledge. I had no idea how to use that theory practically in the classroom. On the other hand, the theory of teaching that I studied and the situation of the school where I taught were very different. In the learner-centered method, students should be made active and engaged in activities. But in the school where I taught, there were more than forty students in one class. It was very difficult to teach all those students through activities. Similarly, the size of the classrooms was too narrow to carry out various activities. There was also no adequate open field in the school. Thus, on the one hand, I lacked sufficient knowledge and skills related to teaching. On the other hand, it was very difficult to use the learner-centered method due to the school's condition, environment and context. Almost all the teachers of the school used to teach according to the traditional method. The school itself was not in a position to accept the new method of teaching. Thus, on the one hand, I lacked relevant pedagogical knowledge and skills related to learner centred and critical pedagogy. On the other hand, it was very difficult to use the learner-centered and critical pedagogy due to the school's condition, environment and context. Almost all the teachers of the school used to teach according to norms and values of the traditional philosophy of pedagogy. According to them, the contents written in the textbooks were real, permanent, and the ultimate truth. Therefore, it is the duty of the teacher to teach what is written in the textbook and the major task of the students is to read what the teacher says and what the textbook mention. 536 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate 5.8. My Teaching at Undergraduate and Graduate Level: Re (Descholing Society) I got the opportunity to teach in different secondary schools of Achham district. During this time, I worked as a headmaster of secondary school, resource person, and head of the resource center. These experiences created in me a deep interest, motivation and curiosity towards teaching learning process. So, I decided to enroll and study at the master's level in education. In M. Ed. I studied syllabus and assessment subjects. At this level, I studied the philosophy, theory and practice of curriculum development as well as assessment system. I also studied teaching methods and strategies in various subjects of this level. Especially the reports prepared by various education commissions after studying about teaching learning gave me deep insight. At the Masters' level of Education (M. ED), I gained theoretical knowledge of various aspects of teaching philosophy, teaching methods, teaching strategies, teaching principles etc. In addition to this, I went to the campus for more than a month for teaching practice and also taught undergraduates. Apart from this, he went to the field and prepared a research paper by understanding the students and their various problems. All these experiences created a deep interest in my teaching. Now I had the confidence to go to the classroom and discuss any subject with the students. What was found out during the discussion in the classroom is that some students were domestic workers themselves and some students have been working as domestic workers for some time. Therefore, those students said that injustice has been done to their class. In addition to this, they also said that they did not have enough to eat all year round, lack of clothes to wear, no house to live in and suffered a lot due to lack of treatment. After this, the team leader of each group presented a report that the domestic workers had suffered a lot and the society had treated them socially unjustly. In this way, the students themselves learned about the concept of social justice easily. This method is not the best method of teaching social justice. Social justice can be taught in many other ways. But it was a small effort of mine which taught me that teaching can be done by adopting new methods and strategies. I became very excited and developed the idea that the old teaching method should be abandoned. 5.9. My Pedagogy at Tribhuvan University: From Traditional Pedagogy to Critical Pedagogy In this section, I discuss how I enhanced my teaching practices by addressing the deficiencies I observed in my traditional teaching methods. During my time in school, I often taught without a full understanding of many concepts. However, upon transitioning to teaching at the university level, I acknowledged my shortcomings and took deliberate steps to improve my teaching approach. This process is elaborated further in the subsequent sections. 5.10. Confession One day I was thinking about my teaching career from past to present. I remember the mistakes I made. I came to my mind one by one about the mistakes and shortcomings I had made during my teaching. I could not easily present some simple topics in front of the students. Generally, theoretical subjects such as Philosophy of Education, Educational Psychology, Curriculum and Evaluation, Measurement and Evaluation and Pedagogical Science are considered as easy subjects. Due to this misconception, our teaching learning process is not qualitative and authentic. I think my practice of teaching the basic subjects of education was a journey of many ups and downs from the beginning until now. I think that the more problems I faced in teaching the basic subjects of education, the more accuracy I got in my teaching. I learned many theories, methods and strategies for teaching this subject in my journey. I confess my poor teaching methods, teaching strategies and teaching learning at that time. In fact, unless a person confesses his faults and weakness with joy, he can never improve himself. If you are able to openly accept your weakness and work hard to improve them, you can easily improve your shortcomings. This has made it easier for me to confesses my past teaching methods and weakness and to follow critical pedagogy. Confessing your weakness can be a good practice for more successful teaching in the future. 537 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate 5.11. Pedagogical Metamorphosis The dictionary meaning of metamorphosis is a change of appearance; change from one form into another one. Actually, metamorphosis refers to the process of transformation from an immature from to an adult form in two or more distinct stages. In other word, metamorphosis indicates to a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one. Metamorphosis is a biological process by which an animal physically develops including birth transformation or hatching, involving a conspicuous and relatively abrupt change in the animal's body structure through cell growth and differentiation. Animals can be divided into species that undergo complete metamorphosis, incomplete metamorphosis or no metamorphosis. Generally, organisms with a larval stage undergo metamorphosis and during metamorphosis the organism losses larval characteristics. To me, metamorphosis is a change of nothing into something, from something simple into something complicated, perhaps a fool into a sage (Belbase, Luitel, & Taylor, 2008). I believe that beliefs and practices change with experience, study and new knowledge. The child learns social behavior and can become a good citizen in later days. A student becomes a good thinker by learning many things from school level to university. After long experience, study and training, teachers can change their educational practices according to changing times. I think that such changes in teaching and learning practices from behaviorist to constructivist or traditionalist to modernist and postmodernist are educational metamorphosis. Pedagogical metamorphosis parallels philosophical metamorphosis, but I have treated both under the name pedagogical metamorphosis. I know that my school level teaching was influenced by traditional approaches, experiences and training. But later gradually this approach was moving towards a critical approach. As I began to reflect on my pedagogical practices, I began to feel that my pedagogical practices were lacking. In fact, autoethnography helped me realize that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing. Stories of past experiences helped me understand what my basic practice is and what needs to be done for better teaching in the future. I feel that there cannot be one way or method of doing any work. The same work can be done by different methods and methods. In summary I would like to express my educational transformation from the past to the present and draw trends for future practices. 5.12. Teaching at School I followed traditional teaching methods while teaching social studies subjects at school level. My teaching was based on the principles of behavioral learning. Constructivism and critical theory were beyond my imagination. The classroom was run completely according to my instructions and the classroom was under my control. I was the only source of knowledge for the students. Similarly, textbooks were another important source of knowledge. In conventional teaching learning process, knowledge is the same for everyone. Knowledge is the same for everyone, forever, everywhere. In the classroom, the teacher describes the truth or truth in such a way that truth is motionless, fixed and divided into sections in a compartment or bowl. According to this concept, truth is easily predictable. The teacher explains about a topic that has nothing to do with the student's existence and experience. The teacher's job is only to impart the content of the lecture to the students. Subjects, which are separate from reality, are disconnected from the totality that gave rise to them and made them meaningful. In this process, the word loses its solidity, the word becomes hollow and defeated and exists only in isolated idioms. Thus, when I was teaching in school, I taught according to the concept of traditional teaching and emphasized that students should memorize the content rather than understanding it. It destroys the critical ability of the students and makes them dependent, lazy and inactive. Students developed the habit of accepting things as they are rather than questioning them. 5.14. Teaching at Undergraduate Level While teaching at undergraduate level, the teaching method that I mostly used was the lecture method. When using the lecture method, sometimes he would ask questions in between. Similarly, 538 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate sometimes I used to have a general discussion with the students. But they were creating pressure on the students to accept my words in the discussion. He used to ignore the questions of the students and emphasized on his own lectures. I never used effective teaching learning strategies such as group discussion, peer learning, project work etc. According to the traditional concept of education, knowledge is a gift given by a person who thinks he is wise. According to this concept, a person who thinks himself to be knowledgeable is given knowledge to someone who is completely ignorant. Therefore, in this concept, education and knowledge are rejected as a process of research. The teacher presents himself in front of his student as an opposite and the teacher justifies his existence by considering the student to be supremely ignorant. In this concept, there is a dialogue in the classroom or in the teaching learning process, and in the process of this dialogue, the teacher teaches the students and the students teach the teacher together. 5.15. Teaching at Tribhuvan University When I entered Tribhuvan University, I considered myself a somewhat experienced teacher. Because before this I had taught for a long time from primary school to campus level. It was a big thing for me to teach in the classroom using the lecture method and to explain in a loud voice in the classroom while teaching in this way and to convey my voice to the students. I also started observing the classroom teaching of some good teachers. Good and experienced teachers taught by conducting activities such as discussions among students and gatherings among classmates. When I saw experienced and senior teachers teaching lessons through various activities, I learned that other methods are more effective than the lecture method. Analyzing the journey of my teaching from past to present, I have found four stages of educational metamorphosis. In the first stage, I was totally unaware of teaching methods, educational process and teaching profession. I was completely ignorant and my knowledge was covered by ego and the pride. I even went so far as to read books, but I was not able to know about the reality of the world. I think that the role of the teacher is to regulate the way in which the world enters the mind of the student. Teachers' job is to organize a process that is already running smoothly. In this process, the teacher fills the student's mind with the warehouse of information that he considers to be true knowledge. In this way, humans perceive the world as a passive thing. So, education makes them more active and adapts to the world. An educated man is an adapted man because he is more suitable for the world. This concept, if put into practice, is suitable for the purposes of the conventional concept of teaching. Because their happiness depends on how well man fits into the world they have built and how little he questions the world. In the second stage, I did self-study again about the theory of teaching learning and gained knowledge about the theory of teaching learning by discussing with some expert professors. In addition to this, I got the opportunity to learn about new theories, methods and strategies of teaching learning through online literature. Accordingly, I got the opportunity to supervise the thesis of students at various postgraduate levels. In this way, while supervising the practice teaching, I got the motivation to study more. I revisited subjects like philosophy of education, psychology of education, evaluation. This made me enjoy the teaching profession. I started spending a lot of time in the library and studying each subject in depth by building a small library even at my home. I developed the habit of searching and reviewing literature even online. In the last stage, I have developed a broad vision of pedagogical practice. In Nepal, I have seen a lot of potential for new and original teaching methods in the teaching of subjects such as educational psychology, curriculum, and assessment. In these subjects, it is very important to develop the cultural values, beliefs and practices of critical teaching for new philosophical exploration and effective teaching. Traditional teaching learning methods which laid more emphasis on the rote learning should be abandoned. In its place, we need to develop teaching methods that develop students' critical thinking. I have interviewed two of my students to make my classroom teaching valid and credible: I conducted interviews with two of my students to gather feedback on my teaching. I asked them about their evaluation of the current teaching methods. The first student responded that current teaching has become 539 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate highly engaging as they critically analyze the information presented by the teacher against diverse sources, leading to independent conclusions. They no longer passively accept the teacher's statements at face value. Similarly, another student expressed that current teaching is advantageous, noting a transformation in their approach to learning. They now perceive learning not as something dictated by the teacher, but as a personal endeavor, enhancing their readiness for independent study and facilitating a more seamless learning experience. 6. Conclusion Learning is an active endeavor, undertaken for personal growth, and requires active engagement throughout the learning journey. Moreover, learning entails more than mere acquisition of facts; it involves fostering critical thinking skills. During the interview, I found that not only has teaching transformed, but students' learning methods have also evolved. Students have embraced a more active role, understanding that learning is a personal endeavor. They now recognize the importance of mastering the learning process itself rather than merely memorizing facts. Consequently, teachers have become more at ease with the teaching process. 6.1. The Carpenter’s Last Job An artistically crafted wooden house built by a carpenter gained widespread acclaim. As the carpenter aged, he began to reflect on his life's work. He thought to himself, "I have accomplished much and accumulated a modest amount of wealth. It is time to retire and enjoy the rest of my life with my family." The next day, he approached his contractor and said, "Mr. Contractor, I have served you faithfully for many years, always striving to do my best. Now, I am old and wish to retire and spend my remaining years with my family." The contractor held the carpenter in high esteem and felt a twinge of sadness at the carpenter’s request. However, acknowledging the carpenter’s age and years of service, he did not want to deny him his wish. After a moment's thought, the contractor responded, "You have indeed served me well, and I do not wish to make you unhappy. But before you retire, I have one final request: I need you to build one more beautiful house for me." The carpenter agreed, saying, "What do you need? Just tell me." The contractor provided the necessary funds and showed him the location for the new house. However, the carpenter, thinking this was his last job and feeling a bit weary, did not put in his usual meticulous effort. He normally chose the finest wood, but this time, he opted for artificial wood and rushed through the work. In a few weeks, the house was completed. The carpenter went to the contractor and said, "The house is ready. May I retire now?" The contractor smiled and replied, "Of course you can retire, but not in that small and old house of yours. Spend the rest of your life happily with your family in this new house you have built. This house is my gift to you." The carpenter was stunned. He thought, "I have spent my entire life building houses for others with great care, but when it came to building a house for myself, I was careless. If only I had built this house with the same dedication as before." I analyzed my past through the lens of my present perspective. By doing so, I evaluated what I have done in the past, what I am currently doing, and what I can achieve in the future. I reflected on my practices, acknowledging any wrong actions taken, whether knowingly or unknowingly. I examined my present circumstances through the philosophical lens of educational theory. This deep analysis allowed me to assess my situation from a philosophical standpoint. Consequently, I envisioned my future through the context of the present, resolving to further strengthen my educational reforms. Thus, my academic journey has progressed through numerous ups and downs, twists and turns, continually evolving and gaining new dimensions. In my understanding, reflective practices are crucial for teachers' professional development. When autoethnography is rigorously applied to the research writing process as a genre, and the future is 540 Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology ISSN: 2576-8484 Vol. 8, No. 4: 527-541, 2024 DOI: 10.55214/25768484.v8i4.1129 © 2024 by the authors; licensee Learning Gate envisioned by understanding the past and present, it can bring about dramatic changes in educational institutions. Autoethnography serves as a lens through which educators can examine their pedagogical practices, identifying gaps between current practices and ideal standards. I believe autoethnography acts as a catalyst for my pedagogical transformation, facilitating a shift from traditional teaching methods to more creative approaches. However, a significant weakness of this approach is that in the research process, reality can sometimes be portrayed with abstract, expressive, and impressive writing. 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