





































Emerging Perspectives 
ep.journalhosting.ucalgary.ca 

*qianyun.wang@ucalgary.ca 

 
 
 

Weaving Identities:  Experiences of Bereavement among Chinese  
Immigrants in Calgary 

Qianyun Wang*, Christine Walsh 

University of Calgary 

The loss of a loved one is one of the most stressful events experienced by older adults 

or young children. Bereavement adjustment is more challenging for immigrants, due 

to social isolation and migratory stress. However, literature on this topic is sparse. To 

fill this gap, I adopted a phenomenological approach to explore the lived experiences 

of spousal bereavement among older Chinese immigrants living in Calgary. My own 

bereavement related to the loss of my father as a young child,and witnessing my 

mother’s grief since then allowed me to reflect on my family’s loss in relation to the 

experiences of participants. Also, our shared identity, as newcomers from China 

provided me with an insider’s perspective of how immigration and Chinese cultural 

factors played an important role in participants’ bereavement adjustment. This article 

includes research findings interwoven with my own grief experiences. With 12 in-depth 

interviews with older Chinese immigrants, we shared long-lasting grief, and expressed 

it in private, with certain rituals. Family and ethno-cultural communities were unable 

to directly help participants in coping with their spousal loss. Further, the migratory 

grief, as experienced by participants and myself, contributed to vulnerability to mental 

heath issues. There is a need for culturally appropriate bereavement supports and 

family/community involvement.   

Key words: Chinese immigrant, older adult, bereavement, lived experiences, migratory 

grief  

Wang, Q., & Walsh, C. (2020). Weaving identities: Experiences of bereavement among 

Chinese immigrants in Calgary. Emerging Perspectives, 4(1), 1-7. 

 

About three years ago when I first arrived in Canada from my home in China, I had a 

conversation with a professor, also an immigrant from China. As we discussed our feelings 

concerning our respective families living in China and shared our common experiences of 

parental loss, I unexpectedly burst into tears. This was the first time I was introduced to the 

English term, bereavement. Bereavement refers to the state of and/or responses to losing a loved 

one (Zisook & Shear, 2009). I came from a bereaved family as my father passed away when I 

was seven years of age. Bereavement is like air in our small family even though my mother and I 

never acknowledge it directly. Spousal bereavement is one of the most stressful events that 

adults will experience (Holmes & Rahe, 1967), similar, in many ways, to parental loss for a 

young child (Lin, Sandler, Ayers, Wolchik, & Luecken, 2004). When I was young, I experienced 



Wang & Walsh/ Emerging Perspectives (2020)  2 
 

the absence of fatherhood and kept the grief to myself, and I was never sensitive to my mother’s 

experiences of bereavement.  

Researchers have suggested that spousal bereavement in immigrants is further complicated 

by social isolation and migratory stress (Martin-Matthews, Tong, Rosenthal, & McDonald, 2013; 

Saito, 2013). In my social work practice with low-income older Chinese immigrants in Calgary, I 

bore witness to their social and economic marginalization and migratory stress. This research, on 

spousal bereavement among older Chinese immigrants, provided me with an opportunity to 

reflect on the grief experienced in my own family, both the spousal bereavement my mother has 

been through and the child bereavement that I have experienced. 

These experiences kindled my interest and consequently, for my master’s thesis I chose to 

examine spousal bereavement among 12 older Chinese immigrants in Calgary. Through this 

research I reflected upon the ways in which spousal grief, as expressed by my study participants, 

was interwoven with my family’s loss. One of my research questions was: What are the lived 

experiences of widowed older Chinese immigrants in coping with their spousal bereavement?  In 

this article, study findings from my master’s thesis are woven together with my own experiences, 

creating a tapestry illustrating parental and spousal loss complicated by migratory grief. 

Literature Review 

I conducted a systematic literature review of studies on bereavement published in the last 

10 years. Forty articles focused on older adults in general. I categorized these articles into three 

themes: Effects of Spousal Loss, Adjustment of Spousal Bereavement, and Long-term 

Consequences of Widowhood. The themes highlight the breadth of research on spousal 

bereavement and widowhood among older adults. However, few studies focus specifically on 

immigrant older adults and older Chinese adults, suggesting that cautions are warranted in 

employing findings from this body of research. Only five studies specifically focused on older 

immigrants in Western countries. In terms of studies among older Chinese immigrants, one study 

quantitatively found that older widowed Chinese women were more like to live alone, whereas 

widowed Chinese men were more likely to live with family (Nguyen & Shibusawa, 2013). A 

qualitative study explored the lived experiences among Chinese older women (Martin-Matthews 

et al., 2013), and highlighted the importance of supports from ethno-cultural communities. 

Through this literature review I identified service barriers among Chinese older immigrants 

in terms of culture, language and ethnic differences from service providers (Dong, Bergren, & 

Chang, 2015; Lai & Chau, 2007). Older Chinese immigrants also reported feeling unwelcome 

and unwilling to use any professional supports even though they were in need of these supports 

(Lai & Chau, 2007). I also found that older immigrants had limited awareness of mental health 

services, and that there were low levels of awareness of professional mental health services 

among ethno-minority older adults, specifically among Chinese older adults (Sadavoy, Meier, & 

Ong, 2004). Further, the stigma and self-stigma of mental health issues in Chinese communities 

systematically would prevent Chinese from accessing professional mental health services (Kung, 

2004; Li, Logan, Yee, & Ng, 1999; Sadavoy, Meier, & Ong, 2004). 

Methodology 

The present study explored the experiences of bereavement among older Chinese 

immigrants in Calgary through descriptive phenomenology. Creswell (2009) suggested that a 

phenomenological study “describes the meaning for several individuals of their lived experience 

of a concept or a phenomenon” (p. 57).  Based on Husserl’s (1970) philosophical ideas, Lopez 



Wang & Walsh/ Emerging Perspectives (2020)  3 
 

and Willis (2004) identified the following three main tenets for descriptive phenomenology: 1) a 

person’s consciousness is focused as an object of the study; 2) researcher’s biases, including 

prior personal knowledge and lived reality, could be bracketed allowing the researcher to 

approach the phenomenon based purely on subjectivity of persons who have the experience; and 

3) there are commonalities existing among persons who have the experience. 

I conducted this study using descriptive phenomenology because I intended to answer 

“what” instead of “how” or “why”. Namely, I am interested in understanding the meaning of a 

phenomenon (lived experiences of coping with spousal bereavement and widowhood) as it is 

understood by other subjects (older Chinese immigrants living in Calgary). Thus, descriptive 

phenomenology was chosen for this study as it allowed me to develop a description of this 

subjectivity (Davidsen, 2013). Thus, I focussed on older Chinese immigrants’ lived experiences 

coping with spousal bereavement and widowhood based on what was shared by participants 

(Creswell, 2009).  

Methods 

Twelve participants (three males, nine females) were recruited from various sectors, such as 

faith communities, ethno-cultural communities, service-providing organizations, and so on. Their 

ages ranged from 65 to 89, and the average age was 76. Semi-structured interviews conducted in 

Mandarin or Cantonese were audiotaped with participants’ permission and were subsequently 

transcribed and translated into English. 

I used Colaizzi’s (1978) method for data analysis in descriptive phenomenology as 

summarized in seven steps by Wojnar and Swanson (2007): 1) reading and rereading descriptions 

(interview transcriptions); 2) extracting significant statements of the phenomenon; 3) formulating 

meanings from significant statements to illustrate contexts of the phenomenon; 4) categorizing 

into theme clusters and validating with original data; 5) integrating the findings into description of 

the phenomenon; 6) returning to some participants to ask how it compared with their experiences; 

and 7) incorporating any changes offered by the participants (if available) into the final description 

of the essence of the phenomenon. 

This study received ethics approval from the Conjoint Faculties Research Ethics Board, 

University of Calgary. 

Findings 

The study found that participants in my study had long-lasting grief, which was an average 

of 11 years. Individuals grieved in private since family and ethno-cultural communities did not 

provide direct support for spousal bereavement. However, family and ethno-cultural communities 

played an important role in their well-being. Also, most participants in the study did not access 

social services for bereavement support. There was a need for culturally appropriate services. 

Quotations were labeled with the self-chosen pseudonym, gender, and age of the 

participants. 

Long-Lasting Grief  

Participants in my study reported long-lasting grief, averaging some 11 years after spousal 

loss.  In terms of long-lasting grief, Ying, a 73-year-old widowed woman, who lost her partner 15 

years ago, articulated: 



Wang & Walsh/ Emerging Perspectives (2020)  4 
 

I don’t lead a comfortable life by myself. Why? I am thinking of him, thinking of him... I 

think it is more horrible to the survivor than the deceased, because the survivor will think of 

the deceased all the time.  

The long-lasting bereavement among participants could be explained by some researchers 

who suggested that in Chinese culture long-lasting bereavement could be interpreted as 

demonstrating respect for the deceased (Prigerson et al., 2009). My bereavement has also been 

long-lasting, casting a 19-year shadow over my life. Through my bereavement, I was also 

demonstrating respect to my father. 

Participants’ long-lasting grief was mediated through memories. As the two next interview 

excerpts from Ying and Lan Hua demonstrated, they shared memories of the deceased, their care-

giving experiences, and their spouse’s death and the funeral. As participants shared: 

He was the one who does the cooking, I could not cook. When I was ill, and my back was 

so painful, he would feed me food. He has a good temper…When I was angry, and I would 

talk loudly. If I had worries, I would say them. He would go away. As soon as he came back, 

he said, “You won't be angry when I come back”. We would be all right when he came back. 

(Ying, female, 73) 

As long as we had eye contact he would understand what I mean. He is a person like that. 

He is a nice guy. We were all feeling very well, and the family was very harmonious. (Lan 

Hua, female, 65) 

Keep Grief Personal  

Similarly, my mother occasionally mentioned my father: “Your dad is a very good guy and 

excellent at his job”; “I dreamt about your dad last night”. I rarely talk about my father, since I do 

not want to reveal my own grief.  Like my own family, study participants chose to keep their grief 

private. 

According to traditional Chinese cultures, Chinese people do not talk about loss or death in 

order to avoid evoking bad luck (Yick & Gupta, 2002). However, opposite to the traditional 

cultures shared between me and participants towards loss or death, not only was I entering into a 

situation where I would be forced to think about my own bereavement, I would be asking older 

Chinese adults to reflect upon and share their experiences. It had been challenging to conduct this 

research. Once during recruitment in a Chinese senior centre, I was chastised by a woman who 

asked “Why you would like to recruit widowed seniors? Talking about the death is too sad and 

unlucky.”  

During my first interview, both the participant and I began to cry soon after the interview 

started and continued to weep until the interview concluded. Our tears arose from sadness but were 

more muddied. It may have been the first time sharing our bereavement to others without the 

complications of a previous relationship. In subsequent interviews, I came to understand that 

Chinese immigrants were both eager to talk about their grief related to spousal loss as well their 

need for mutual support. For me, it encouraged me to further my own healing. 

In line with cultural principles, some participants practiced certain rituals to maintain a 

continuous bond with their deceased spouse (Jiang, 2005). San Gui, an 82-year-old widow, 

offered, “I wrote a letter to him every anniversary. I have written 10 letters in 10 years.” So too for 

my family, every year since his death we visit my father’s tomb and I have worn the jade that my 

father gave me since my birth, to keep him close.  



Wang & Walsh/ Emerging Perspectives (2020)  5 
 

Family and ethno-cultural communities played an important role in participants’ well-being.  

They enjoyed instrumental support provided by the family, such as transportation, housing, and 

financial support. Also, participants relied almost exclusively on ethno-cultural communities, such 

as Chinese churches, the Chinese senior centre, and the Chinese senior apartment for social 

engagement. However, family or ethno-cultural communities were not a direct support for spousal 

bereavement since participants grieved in private instead of expressing their bereavement openly 

to their family or community members. As Ying, a 73 year old widow shared:  

I will not let her [my daughter] know. Because if I am sad, my daughter will be very sad as 

well. I will not let her know… I don’t want her to worry about me, I don't want my girl to 

feel stressful.  

While conducting my research, I returned to China and asked my mother how she coped 

with her bereavement. She acknowledged that she had been diagnosed with depression several 

years after my father’s death. Interestingly, facing my own bereavement, although it was difficult 

for me, it was not as challenging as knowing that I was not present to support my mother’s 

bereavement. 

Migratory Grief 

Migratory grief, caused by a symbolic loss, such as loss of a homeland, status, social 

environment, and cultural identity (Casado, Hong, & Harrington, 2010), played a central role in 

participants’ narratives. Liang, an 89 year old widow articulated, “Most of time I watched TV 

shows from Hong Kong. Usually I played the shows repeatedly…I try to have some connection 

with Hong Kong, and I try to know what is happening in Hong Kong.”  Many participants shared 

difficulties in adaptation and social integration, post-migration. As a newcomer, the experiences 

of immigrating, adaptation, acculturation, and migratory grief are familiar to me. Post-migration, 

I experienced depression as a consequence of the challenges related to adaptation, academic 

pressure, and migratory grief. However, different from participants in this study, most of whom 

did not access to professional services to emotional health, I accessed counseling as part of my 

treatment for depression. The literature has identified barriers for older Chinese immigrants in 

accessing social services to mental health (Lai & Chau, 2007), and specifically in terms of 

bereavement support.  My own experiences also helped me to understand how the migratory grief 

and migratory stress could result in complicated grief and vulnerability to mental health issues for 

older Chinese adults who experienced spousal loss.    

Discussion 

Findings from my study, illustrating the grief experiences related to spousal loss, make a 

contribution to the extremely limited body of research on this topic specifically among older 

immigrants (Martin-Matthews et al., 2013). Because of their migratory experiences, Chinese 

older immigrants are vulnerable to mental health problems, such that scholars have suggested the 

need for extra attention and services involved (Casado & Leung, 2002; Lai, 2004). This 

vulnerability might also contribute to complicated spousal bereavement experiences and greater 

challenges to grief adjustment. Findings also suggested the need to develop culturally 

appropriate ways to involve families and communities in supporting bereavement adjustment of 

older Chinese immigrants.  

 



Wang & Walsh/ Emerging Perspectives (2020)  6 
 

Conclusions 

My ongoing bereavement caused by my parental loss led me to conduct a study on the 

lived experiences of spousal bereavement among widowed older Chinese immigrants living in 

Calgary. The study allowed me to reflect upon my own family’s bereavement experience as 

interwoven with those of the older Chinese adults in my study. Participants shared their long-

lasting grief and expressed it in private, with certain rituals. They hardly expressed their grief in 

front of family or community members. Also, migratory grief could contribute to more 

challenges to older Chinese immigrants in terms of mental health. Further research is necessary 

to explore lived experiences among older immigrants from an intersectionality perspective, 

where gender, immigrant background, age, and ethnicity have influenced these populations 

systematically. Culturally appropriate bereavement supports and family/community involvement 

are required, as a response to the extremely limited reliance on family and community, in 

providing direct support for spousal bereavement. 

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