… EEJ 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 English Education Journal http://journal.unnes.ac.id/sju/index.php/eej Translation Quality of English - Javanese Songs By Pentul Kustik Band Intan Kusuma , Issy Yuliasri Universitas Negeri Semarang, Indonesia Article Info ________________ Article History: Accepted 19 August 2019 Approved 21 August 2019 Published 15 March 2020 ________________ Keywords: Song, Translation, Translation Quality ____________________ Abstract ___________________________________________________________________ Translating English songs into Javanese language both semantically and emotionally presents a challenge to translators because regional differences always limits some linguistic and cultural aspects. Here, Pentul Kustik band attempts to provide a good English-Javanese song translation that can help Javanese people to understand the song and popularize it. Low‟s Pentathlon Approach (2005) highlights several unique aspects of translating lyrics, which cover the elements of singability, sense, naturalness, rhythm, and rhyme. This study uses Low‟s theory and assesses the quality of English-Javanese translation of song lyrics The object of this study is 15 English-Javanese song translation by Pentul Kustik Band. There are 328 data analyzed. The result shows that 223 data (68.09%) are considered singable and 105 data (32.02%) are considered less singable. In the aspect of sense, 142 data(46.30%) were considered having less accurate sense, while 186% data (53.70%) having accurate sense. In addition, 252 data (78.02%) are found to be natural and only 71 data (22.08%) are said to be less natural. The rhythm analysis indicates 123 data (37.50%) uses addition, 115 data (35.06%) uses reduction and 90 data(27.44%) preserves the original syllable numbers. The rhymes found in this study have 3 patterns. First, the translator replicates the sound and the pattern of the original song rhyme into the translated version. Second, the translator preserves the pattern of the original rhyme but modifies the sound used in the translated version. Third, some translations are found as half-rhymed or unrhymed free verses. © 2020 Universitas Negeri Semarang  Correspondence Address: Kampus Pascasarjana Unnes, Jl. Kelud Utara III, Semarang, 50237 E-mail: intankwardani@yahoo.com p-ISSN 2087-0108 e-ISSN 2502-4566 Raikhatuz Zahroh, Januarius Mujiyanto, Mursid Saleh/ English Education Journal 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 19 INTRODUCTION English is now considered the language of communication which has become widely used that it now dominates every type of international field, includes music industry. With the development of international cooperation and cultural exchange, music has become an essential part of global cultural communication. Being the bridge of culture transference, translators should shoulder the burden of fulfilling the needs for all kinds of translation (Barber, 2003). However, regional differences always limit some linguistic and cultural aspects of both languages. Translating English songs into Javanese language semantically and emotionally presents a challenge to translators. Translating a musical is not easy at all. Besides the usual translation problems, the translator should also keep in mind that the text is to be sung. The songs are often put in a certain shape, directed by rhyme and rhythm. There are normally three elements that make a fair song: the melody, the lyrics, and the singer‟s performance (Yu, 2012). It is often easier for foreign people to accept and feel the melody of a song or judge a singer‟s skill, but when it comes to the understanding of the song lyrics, language can be a grand barrier. There have been a number of researches concerning with the phenomena of song translation. One of the studies is conducted by Smola (2011) that talks about Music-Linked Translation (MLT). The object of the study is Marianowicz‟s translation of Fiddler on the Roof. Antoni Marianowicz is proven to apply adaptation and paraphrasing as liberal techniques in the MLT since the lyrics needed to be singable. In the study, the song translator‟s freedom was said to be two fold. On the one hand, it was limited by the original music and rhythm. On the other hand, the song translator‟s freedom was boundless. To render singability, naturalness, rhyme and sense, it was allowed to diverge from the original as much as the translator wished. It agreed that limiting translator‟s freedom in this aspect might result in faulty and unusable translation result. The next study is conducted by Kales (2014). This study explores how the translations and adaptations of the English songs in the period between 1965-80 affected the music system within Turkey‟s sociocultural context and how these translations and adaptations is made quantitatively and qualitatively. An analysis is carried out to determine the strategies in the translations and adaptations and the general tendencies as to song translation facilitated in the light of Low‟s categorization and his “Pentathlon Principle”. The result shows that 3 out of 35 (8.57%) songs were identified as “translation”, 9 out of 35 (25.71%) as “replacement text” and 23 out of 35 (65.71%) as “adaptation”. Another study is conducted by Liyan (2015). This study attempted to analyze the feasibility of applying Nida‟s functional equivalence theory to Chinese translation of English song to overcome the untranslateability. This study presents that seeking rhyme equivalence in Chines translation does not mean that it had the same rhyme scheme as the original lyrics. Depending on their customs in song, different countries will choose different rhyme scheme, which had the same function and express the same emotion as the original. In rhythm functional equivalence, not only the numbers of Chinese characters in the translated version should be the same as the numbers of the English syllables in the original song, but also positions. Words can be added and deleted in the translation, but it should not violate, change, and damage the rhythm of the original. In addition, to maintain the functional equivalence in style, Chinese translators reproduce song in the receptor language the closest equivalence of the source language message with emphasis on style. When a song is translated to English as it is, equivalence in meaning is achieved in some degree, but translation in style is far from equivalence. Therefore, it then is translated again maintaining the main ideas that were equivalent to the original. Those three studies focused on the strategies used in translating lyric or how they overcome the difficulties or inequivalence found, Raikhatuz Zahroh, Januarius Mujiyanto, Mursid Saleh/ English Education Journal 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 20 notwithstanding the elements found in the musical aspect. They either lack of translation quality analysis that could lead to less accurate translated lyrics, or barely concern about the musical elements and adapt the original lyrics that make the translation result less beautiful. Therefore, this study uses Low‟s theory to analyze several music elements and also the quality of the translated song lyrics. The Pentathlon Principle Song translation entails not only delivering the SL message to a target audience in the highest optimality but also fit the TL message to some of the musical aspects of the SL song, in order to achieve a translation symbiosis that covers the poetic and musical aspects (Dunbar, 2002). According to Franzon (2005), translating a song means adapting target lyric to the musical line. Adaptation is the only possible choice to transfer fidelity (literal translation of verbal components of SL song) and format (non- verbal elements which make it presentable). In other words, song-translation is the rendering meaning of the source text to produce singable target text with pre-existing music. Salo (2006) states that composing song lyric needs more compromises since it is limited by song structure, not like poems. However, song lyrics are more free because they themselves are speech instead of the imitation of colloquial speech on paper. Mostly, the music is kept the same in both source and target contexts but the target lyrics can be different from the source lyrics. Some cases observed shows that target lyrics are totally new texts of which only melody resembles with the original one. It is proven that song translation score less on semantic transfer than do informative translation (Low, 2013). Peter Low invented Pentathlon Principle that introduces five major criteria. To name these criteria are singability, sense, naturalness, rhythm, and rhyme. Singability has a same concept that is recognized in drama translation called performability (Smola, 2011). It is the process of music-verbal unification between the lyric and the composition. This is what pushes the lyrics to sing, speak, transfer their meaning across and deliver their message in cooperation with the music (Franzon, 2008). To achieve the singability, the translator is restricted by the length of each bar and the number of syllables, the alternation of strong and weak beats, rhyme and meaning. In the criterion of sense, Low (2005) mostly argues about retaining the meaning of the original lyric. He adds that flexibility is an important aspect of Pentathlon Principle, thus translators can take some liberties with meaning by using near synonyms, connotations, superordinate terms and different metaphors that function in the same way as the original ones. Siitonen (2014) states that if translators retain the meaning of the original lyric to some extent but alter the theme and the atmosphere of the song, sense would still exist in the translation. Low (2005) claims that “the target text is not worth making unless it can be understood while the song is sung”, which implies that the lyrics should be understood while it is performed because the song flows and cannot be lengthened at will. Another word for naturalness in translation is acceptability, which also corresponds with what Nida calls as “relative adequacy”. It refers to if a translation has been translated appropriately with the rules, norms and the prevailing culture in the target language, and sounds natural for the target audience. A translator does not only have to translate whatever in the source target, but also has to reconstruct, adapt, or even rewrite it. Low (2005) also notes that it is “the translator‟s duty to the composer” to respect the pre-existing rhythm. Some translators see rhythm is best followed by retaining the original number of syllables because the different syllable count in the translation could destroy the rhythm of the music. However omitting or adding syllables is permissible, if it is necessary. In addition, the translator‟s mother tongue may affect the rhythm of the translation. Rhyme is a phenomenon in which similar speech sounds are repeated in an intended way at the end of a line. Rhyme is defined by how the words sound, not how it is written (Siitonen, Raikhatuz Zahroh, Januarius Mujiyanto, Mursid Saleh/ English Education Journal 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 21 2014). Pronouncing a word different with its written one in Javanese language is uncommon, but in English, words such as heart and part is considered a rhyme because the diphthong ea in the first word is pronounced the same manner as the vowel a in the latter word. METHODS This study is descriptive qualitative research. This study focuses on assessing the translation quality of translated songs. Sources of data used in this study are 15 original English songs by various musicians with different genres and its Javanese translation translated by Pentul Kustik band, and the respondents. The respondents are 20 people who familiar with the original English songs and have knowledge in understanding and using English and Javanese languages. In collecting data, the researcher applied 5 procedures. Observation was done by watching the videos and listening to the songs, both the original and ones that were uploaded by the band in YouTube. Next, the original lyrics (English) and its translations (Javanese) were paired line by line in a table. Some repeated lyrics with repeated translations were omitted to avoid data hoarding in the questionnaire. Those data then were given numbers to ease the reader in identifying data. Last, questionnaire was used to get the response of the raters, related to quality of song translation. I used song translation quality instruments modified from Nababan‟s scale with Low‟s Pentathlon Principle to determine the degree of singability, sense, and naturalness. Rhythm and rhyme were observed and analyzed to find out about its pattern. In this study, the data collected are analyzed by interpreting the results of singability, sense and naturalness analysis by respondent, to get the degree of the song translation quality, comparing whether the word stress and the syllable rhythm match both in the original and the translated lyric, observing the original rhyme and comparing it with the translated version by every stanza, and drawing inferences from the results of the analysis based on statement of the problems and provide the suggestion. RESULTS AND DISCUSSIONS This study provides 328 data to be analyzed in terms of its singability, sense and naturalness. Here, sometimes the translator respects both the original lyricist and the composer and thus takes both the lyrics and the music of the original song into account while producing the translation. In other times, it changes the meaning of the lyrics or also does not necessarily follow the original music. Singability Singability is best followed by retaining the original number of syllables thus singers can easily sing the translated lyrics with the original melody as sung. Not following the syllable count in the translation could destroy the rhythm of the music. It is possible that the syllable count increases or reduces when the translator tries to fit the closest choice of word for the translation. However, the translated lyrics can be less singable or only has sufficient singability. The analysis shows that 223 data (68.09%) are considered singable and 105 data (32.02%) are considered less singable. The high singability of these translated songs is reached because most of the target lyrics can match perfectly with the rhythm of source lyrics. By disregarding the accuracy, some of the lyrics are recreated to support the singability. Example: SL If I got lock a way TL Yen aku rak duwe Several ways to recreate lyrics are omitting words, paraphrasing, reordering words, or expressing the message differently. Although the new lyrics may have different story compared to its source, the singer would not need to manipulate the melody of the translated lyric because it fits the original version. Only when the added syllable fits in and does not Raikhatuz Zahroh, Januarius Mujiyanto, Mursid Saleh/ English Education Journal 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 22 destroy the rhythm of the original music, the target lyric is considered as singable. Example: SL And a million miles TL Lan adoh kahanan The more is the added or reduced syllable, the more is the difficulty to sing because the singer should take suitable musical rest or long note within the music into account to fit the syllable. However, to achieve the singability, the translator is restricted not only by the length of each bar and the number of syllables, but also the alternation of strong and weak beats, rhyme and meaning. When it fails to blend into the melody, the singability is considered low. Example: SL Right about now if I judge for life man TL Yen kukeno perkoro opo kowe isih When we try to sing the above translation for the first time, it will be hard to find the music beats and notes since it has 3 syllable additions. The singer of the translated lyric applies manipulated pre-existing rhythm so that it can be sung in his own way. However, for the newbie or first-time singer, they will be a little bit confused because it will not match the original music. Sense In terms of „capturing the original meaning‟, the translator needs to understand not only the surface meaning of the lyrics, but also the hidden emotions, intentions of the composer and the lyricist, and the artistic images conveyed by the song. In other words, the unity of the lyrics and the music shall be respected; „creating new words‟ is to choose the most appropriate words from the target lyrics which transmit the original meaning of the song and fit the music. I found that 142 data (46.30%) were considered having less accurate sense, while 186% data (53.70%) having accurate sense. This result concludes that the translator preferred presenting the story, message, or the atmosphere of the song in his own interpretation to keeping it as faithful as the original. Example: SL Saturday morning jumped out of bed and put on my best suit TL Setu esuk, ku tangi gasik, dandan sing patut BT Saturday morning I woke up early, get myself dressed up To be exact, the lyric “Saturday morning jumped out of bed” can be sufficiently translated into “Setu esuk, aku tangi” since “tangi” means “wake up” in English that has the same meaning with the stated lyric. But to follow the rhythm, the translator adds the word “gasik” that means “early” so it can be sung fluently. This added word does not disturb the meaning of the entire line since it can describe and emphasize the “morning” situation. In the following phrase “and put on my best suit” is translated into “dandan sing patut, again, the translator gives addition “sing patut” to emphasize “dandan” which means dress-up even if “dandan” itself sufficiently translates “put on my best suit”. However, some of the lyrics also lost its message in the target lyric because the translator also observed the set rhythm and decided to recreate new but harmonious lyrics without considering its accuracy to the source lyric. Example: SL Aching, begging you to come help TL Rak sudi, aku njaluk tulung BT I‟m unwilling to beg for your help In the example above, the translated lyric fails to retain the sense and accuracy. While the original lyric begs for a help, the translated lyric tells how tough the singer is and he does not need any help. The accuracy might be abandoned by the translator to reach singability. With a slight difference in numbers, it means that the translator was not doubtful to create new lyrics by referencing to the atmosphere or theme of the original songs. Some translated songs capture the core of the original lyrics omitting minor details whereas some save their relations with the original. This blurs the boundaries between translation, adaptation and rewriting lyrics. The change in cultural background leads to loses in song translation. The message of the source songs have mostly Raikhatuz Zahroh, Januarius Mujiyanto, Mursid Saleh/ English Education Journal 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 23 not been conveyed in the same way with the original. Naturalness The naturalness in target language should be achieved in order to make the singer or even listeners of the translated version do not realize that they are facing a translation product. The lyrics should not only attract the audience‟s attention by achieving poetic effect or emotional force, but they should also sound natural. Culture, language norms and the receptor feedback to a translation are determinant features of naturalness for a translation. Being familiar with both source and target culture, enables translator to infer some implied information, i.e. culture specific bound terms. In this study, 252 data (78.02%) are found to be natural and only 71 data (22.08%) are said to be less natural. The song translation by Pentul Kustik band adopts communicative translation. There are so many colloquial words and spoken expressions found in the lyrics. This reason underlies the high naturalness in the questionnaire result. The translator determines its choice of words to be more related to the listener of the translated songs. Some international context is converted into familiar Javanese registers in order to bring the listener‟s understanding closer to the message delivered in the lyrics. It should be clear, simple, social and produce on its listeners an effect as close as possible to that obtained on the listeners of original. Some examples are presented as follows. Example 1: SL Knocked on your door with heart in my hand TL Kula nuwun, ati deg-degan Instead of translating the act mentioned in the lyric, the translator uses expression stated by Javanese when knocking on someone else‟s door house to describe the situation packed in the lyric. For Javanese people, they are familiar with the expression because it is frequently used in their daily life thus the translation can be accepted and get high naturalness score. Example 2: SL I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be TL Ing Semarang kene kadang aku ngimpike kowe In the example above, the translator replaces the city of California with Semarang so Javanese listeners understand that California is a name of city. If the translator does not replace the name with a familiar name of a city, there is a possibility that some listeners will misunderstand the meaning of California or even be confused of what California is. The translator has done a good job in choosing the appropriate expression in context. Other than register, there is another big consideration when referring to naturalness: word order (grammar). Those parts of translation seem unnatural can be treated through different strategies such adjustments. Sometimes the translator used shift technique, register variety, colloquial words and spoken expressions to achieve singability and rhyme. Example: SL That's OK, baby, only words bleed TL Mblenjani janji aku lila BT If you break your words, that‟s OK In the example above, shift is employed in a sentence by phrase level. The translator shifted the translation of “That‟s OK baby” to the second half of the line and ended with the word “lila” rhymed /a/. This shift not only helps maintain the rhyme pattern as the lyric before it, but also offers a more convenient rhythm to sing the line as the translator could use the preferred words that suit both the long and short notes. Thus, it is not employed to “change” a work but it is an effort to reproduce the target lyrics as faithfully and natural as possible. Raikhatuz Zahroh, Januarius Mujiyanto, Mursid Saleh/ English Education Journal 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 24 Example: SL You say I'm crazy TL Kowe mblenjani BT You broke our promises SL 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done TL Sangkamu aku sing wis edan BT You think I‟m the crazy one Here, the translator successfully retains the homophones in the rhyme by employing shift technique to the examples above. The translator gives priority to the phonetic similarity over the literal meaning of lyrics. This version sounds more interesting and appealing and will be accepted relatively easily rather than the original order with its semantic meaning. These examples have shown that for the translator of Pentul Kustik, a rigid word-for-word translation of lyrics alone is insufficient for translating a song because it has to be matched with the music. Changing too much meaning of the song‟s lyrics is also unsatisfactory. Translation connects two cultures with different identities and language together, to make it easier for them to understand each other. Thus, it is important that the meaning of the original text is translated and transformed to the target culture in a way that makes it significant to it. Natural translation must not be a one-to-one or literal translation from any language. It is better if the target language audience does not recognize it as translation. The translator is free in adding or omitting from the original text when it is necessary. Rhythm The total number of words in the English lyrics are 2749, and in the translated versions 1509. It means the English original songs contain more words than the translated Javanese versions. The difference in number of words is approximately 29.12% (1240 words). This difference could be a result of the fact that English uses a separate definite article (the) whereas Javanese does not have it. It could also be that the English in the source lyrics is partly rather complicated to express a feeling or situation. For instance, English needs 4 words to say “Can‟t stop my heart”, whereas Javanese could use the word “Dagdigdug” that represents the feeling or sound of our racing heart to convey the same message. Table 1. Comparison of word numbers in the SL and TL Song Source Lyric Target Lyric Difference S1 254 148 106 S2 169 94 75 S3 186 114 72 S4 154 70 84 S5 232 105 127 S6 126 70 56 S7 217 94 123 S8 148 75 73 S9 123 74 49 S10 159 98 61 S11 225 131 94 S12 118 78 40 S13 246 145 101 S14 232 129 103 S15 160 84 76 However, when translating song lyrics, the number of words is of no importance as such; it is the number of syllables that matter since the text is to be sung and must fit the music. Table 2. Comparison of syllable numbers in the SL and TL Song Source Lyric Target Lyric Difference S1 280 297 +17 S2 198 206 +8 S3 237 237 0 S4 147 146 -1 S5 222 220 -2 S6 153 154 +1 S7 269 200 -69 S8 170 175 +5 S9 160 154 -6 S10 187 188 +1 S11 280 272 -8 S12 135 151 +16 S13 286 272 -14 S14 269 262 -7 S15 194 200 +6 Raikhatuz Zahroh, Januarius Mujiyanto, Mursid Saleh/ English Education Journal 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 25 I find in the analysis that 123 data (37.50%) uses addition, 115 data (35.06%) uses reduction, and only 90 data (27.44%) preserves the original syllable numbers. The most used strategy in managing the original rhythm is by adding syllable in the Javanese translation. It can be seen that although the English lyrics contain more words, the Javanese translation still employs syllables addition because the words chosen are generally longer compared to the English words. Rhyme In this study, rhyme means that the words used have similar sound. There are 97 stanzas that are analyzed. Sometimes the translator recreates the sound of the work while still tries to maintain the overall meaning. It makes the sound and pattern of the original song rhyme can be replicated into the translated version, and at the same time the translator tries to transfer the meaning. Example found in this study follows. English version: If I got locked away And we lost it all today Tell me honestly would you still love me the same Javanese translation: Yen aku rak duwe sebut aku kere Sak jroning ati opo tresnamu isih? In the example above, the translation preserves the rhyme pattern AABA and the sound /ɪ/ /ɪ/ /i/ /ɪ/. This phonemic translation binds the beauty of the original rhyme thus this stanza did not sound like a translation. However, some studies conducted previously say that if the rhyme of the translation must resemble the original song, it can essentially harm the other musical elements of the song. Therefore, it should not be too intensively followed. Based on this statement, there are found some stanzas that preserve the pattern of the original rhyme but modify the sound used in the translated version. English version: Stone-heart, machine gun Firing at the ones who run Stone heart loves bulletproof glass Javanese translation: Manteb tekadku, wis ora bakal mlayu Yen manteb, gaman ora mempan The example above shows that the translator keep the original rhyme AAB but modifies the sound of /ʌ/ /ʌ/ /ɑː/ in English to /u/ /u/ /a/ in Javanese. This translation also captivates the listener since it is high in aesthetics. However, it does not always easy to find the word that has similar sound in both language nor to arrange the lyric as such to get the same rhyme pattern. Thus, the translator carefully chooses suitable rhymes in accordance with the musical pauses and rests, results in some translations that are found as half-rhymed or unrhymed free verses. Example: English version: So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holdin' me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone Wait for me to come home Javanese translation: Elingo aku, Ning foto dompet katok jinsmu Sabar setyo ing janjimu Ora usah sumelang Enteni tekanku Here, the original rhyme structure is sacrificed to produce a singable version. The rhyme pattern of the source lyric is ABBCC, while the translator modifies it into AAABA. The sounds are also changed, the original is /i/ /iː/ /iː/ /əʊ/ /əʊ/ and the translation becomes /u/ /u/ /u/ /a/ /u/. The translator highlights phonetic similarity over the literal meaning of lyrics, therefore the translated version sounds more interesting and appealing and will be accepted relatively easily rather than if it were translated exactly like the original semantic meaning. The priorities of the translator become much clearer from the view of the pentathlon principle: singability, sense, and naturalness are Raikhatuz Zahroh, Januarius Mujiyanto, Mursid Saleh/ English Education Journal 10 (1) 2020 18 - 27 26 more prominently observed in the translations than rhyme. CONCLUSION This study proves that song translation quality is a possible work. It can be assessed by modifying Nababan‟s scale with Low‟s Pentathlon Principle. Looking at the questionnaire result, it becomes apparent that the translations have valued singability and naturalness over sense since the main purpose of Pentul Kustik in translating English songs into Javanese is to perform entertaining activity to its audience. The analysis shows that the singability of the translated lyric is mainly maintained by retaining the number of syllables in one line. Sometimes the some syllables are omitted or added, but it is also integrated in a way that it can fit the original melody. To retain the sense of the lyrics, the translator is not doubtful to create new lyrics by referencing to the atmosphere or theme of the original songs. Although some lyrics are replaced with new ones, the stories of the song are the same. Several ways used to create new lyric are paraphrasing, restructuring word order, or expressing the message differently. The translator also adopted communicative translation, therefore so many colloquial words and spoken expressions are found in the lyrics. This reason underlies the high naturalness in the questionnaire result. The rhythm analysis indicates that the most used strategy in managing the original rhythm is by adding syllable in the Javanese translation. Although the English lyrics contain more words, the Javanese translation still employs syllables addition because the words chosen are generally longer compared to the English words. The rhymes found in this study have 3 patterns. 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