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Seven Ways to Come Out
Jayce Koenn

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Best of Fiction

Solution #1: Calmly talk to your parents and tell them you have a girlfriend, 
and you two have been dating for a few months now. Those sleepovers 
were actually dates. Already have your things packed and have a second 
place lined up to stay for when they kick you out. You know that their 
religion preaches against this, and religion is their top priority. Even more 
important than acceptance. 

Solution #2: Your dad has a lot of Vicodin for his chronic back pain, and 
your mom really likes wine and always keeps a bottle in the fridge. It would 
only take a few pills and a few gulps to do the job. Have your parents find 
you so they feel only remorse for publicly shaming people who live your 
secret “lifestyle choice.” Let them feel the pain that radiates in every fiber 
of your being. 

Solution #3: You may live in a small town without a car, but you’re also 
near a busy highway. You’re cute and tiny, so it wouldn’t be too hard to 
hitchhike to the big city where there are more resources, and where your 
girlfriend lives. She’s out to her parents; maybe they will help you out for a 
bit? But don’t tell your parents. They obviously don’t care about you. 

Solution #4: Get a cake that comes out for you—with a lot of rainbows—
in their favorite flavor. Win them over with food and humor. Follow the 
second part of Solution #1 if this fails. 

Solution #5: Stay in the closet. Lock the door for protection and let your 
silence radiate off the walls in the tight space until you suffocate. Or at least 
until you can support yourself. 

Solution #6: Cry a lot while you tell them, so they pity you. Ask them to 
pray the gay away. When it “surprisingly” doesn’t work maybe they’ll see on 
your level. If not, go with solution #2. 

Solution #7: Slowly hint at it so it’s not a shock for when you formally tell 
them. Share about being an “ally” on Facebook, videos of other kids telling 
their parents. They’ll slowly adjust on their own time. Then when you see 
that they probably can predict it, tell them, then act shocked when they say 
“We knew.” After all, love wins.