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Prayer of  the Unrequited Lover
Corlan McCollum

For all I gain
to be in the same space as you
to breathe in the same air
to share in the same memories,
a part of  me becomes… inaccessible. 
A part of  me that consists mostly of  hope.
It is a warm part of  my heart that
cannot burn if  I am too close to you. 
A fire that suffocates in 
the reality of  who and what
we are.
God help our souls. Are we who we’re
meant to be? Is this what 
was intended for us?
How could we be anything other
than the idols, the totems we
construct of  ourselves to display to others and say
“See this image, and know me by my work.”
We are under so much pressure, 
if  not to be somebody then
to be anybody, and we have
so little time to grow slowly and naturally as people,
without the knowing gaze of  others.
When you are alone, 
in the quiet, 
in the empty space
where the only thing to fill the room
is the volume of  your soul,
who are you?
And how do you love me then, I wonder?
It is not a love I could ever know,
by virtue of  it being so private,
but it is a love that shy chamber of  my heart bleeds for,
a love that can’t be shared when we’re together.
God help us to save us from ourselves, and the awful things we do and think. May he deliver 
us from temptation and impulse, and into the arms of  a righteous and destined future. 
Somewhere warm with sunshine. I don’t care if  the rivers flow with milk and honey. I don’t 
care if  it’s Nirvana or Eden or the Kingdom of  Heaven. I know that we go together, and 
the world may pull us apart or say otherwise, but Lord, there is nothing more pure or divine 
than love, and I love you, and the best laid plans of  men could not keep this love down. If  
this isn’t holy then there is nothing sacred worth keeping. His will is done, on earth as it is in 
heaven, and we are a part of  it. This is my prayer, and my promise in God’s name, amen.