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Slice through the skin like a sharpened knife against paper
Clutch the dampened couch cushions as pain grits teeth

Suck air through a clenched jaw
The pain sears and sizzles at the edge of my vision

Fragmented glimpses of you
Blink

Tears drip from eyes
I search for your eyes

You have none 
Stab at the body blindly as if you are simply a piece of flesh
An empty vessel tossed aside for the buzzards and vultures alike 

Search for Humanity 
In this moment of despair, I plead for mercy 

Call their name
Please

Do not answer
Claw with nails, tear through tissue and muscle right down to the bone
Crack ribs 
Pluck out their still-beating heart with talons

A claw machine, your hand dangles and sways 
Mocking

What you came for has been found – my heart was only ever yours: to have and 
to hold.

Bee Fee

to have and to hold