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 Humanities and Social Science Research; Vol. 6, No. 2; 2023 
ISSN 2576-3024   E-ISSN 2576-3032 

https://doi.org/10.30560/hssr.v6n2p1 

 1 Published by IDEAS SPREAD 
 

The Lived Experience of Being an Adoptee 

Michael Galea1 & Cristina Sant Cassar1 
1 University of Malta, Malta 

Correspondence: Michael Galea, University of Malta, Malta. Orcid ID: 0000-0002-3459-5992. E-mail: 
michael.galea@um.edu.mt 

 

Received: March 28, 2023; Accepted: April 16, 2023; Published: April 18, 2023 

 

Abstract 

Adoption can initiate many sentiments. Notable differences between adopted and nonadopted children are clearly 
indicated in research. Because limited research looks at the gradual development of the adoptee, this research 
looked at the lived experiences of Maltese adoptees and their coping mechanisms. 

Following Smith and Osborn (2015) guide on interpretative phenomenological approach, six participants shared 
their experiences in semi-structured interviews conducted remotely.  

Four superordinate themes and ten subordinate themes emerged from the data analysis.  

Findings showed unique ways by adoptees to accept the often challenging reality of the adoption process. 
Resilience was clearly what led adoptees moving on with life. Society and related bodies are therefore called to 
avail professional services to assist adoptees in their coping of a painful past.  

Keywords: adoption, adoptee, lived experience, interpretative phenomenology analysis, qualitative research 

1. Introduction 

Adoption is a personal phenomenon for both adoptive parents and adopted children and can be a complex legal 
and moral process. As Finely (2003) notes, adoption is the interference in the infant’s life who has no parents or 
whose parents are unable to raise them. Adoption, as the legal process of taking a child from their biological family 
and raising them as one’s own, can initiate many sentiments (Finely, 2003). Although this definition of adoption 
can be clear and straightforward to understand, the concerns and themes that may arise from this subject matter 
can be delicate. While adoption brings happiness, excitement, and affection, these sentiments may be followed by 
feelings of sadness, regret, and guilt (Finely, 2003). Baltimore (2009) claims that adoption research is often 
criticized because participants who have been adopted do not have the opportunity to communicate their realities 
in the absence of the researcher’s presumed beliefs and preferences.  

Unfortunately, the development of adoption throughout history has been theoretically imposed by misjudgements, 
negative beliefs, and stigmatization. In addition, hostile impressions about adoption have been disseminated 
through digital media to gain the attention of the masses (Wegar, 2000). In-depth research on adoption is essential 
in resolving this stigma by questioning and analyzing adopted individual’s lived experiences whilst identifying 
therapeutic interventions that can be utilized to support them. 

The National Statistics Office (2010) found that the registration of Maltese adoption reveals that adoption is 
prevalent among Maltese families, as 71 adoptions were completed yearly between 2004 and 2008. 2018 was the 
best year for adoptions in the last 10 years. Of 54 adoptions, over 70% were from India. On the other hand, only 
27 Maltese children were adopted in the last decade (Zammit, 2022). 

In this study, a qualitative approach was chosen to identify and better understand issues on how adoption impacted 
adopted individuals’ identity, relationships, and trauma. Several adoption studies find notable differences between 
adopted and nonadopted children and adolescents. However, little research has looked at the gradual development 
of life experience from the perspective of an adopted individual. Even in Malta, where the population and sample 
size of adopted individuals is relatively small, little research has been carried out to appreciate and listen to 
adoptees’ lived experiences (Cassar, 2010).  

The main psychological challenges and effects adoptees encounter throughout their lives as adoptees include loss 
and grief, challenges with identity formulation, lack of pride and self confidence (Reynolds et al., 2021). Literature 
presents a plethora of related themes, which can be surmised into four categories, namely: a) adjustment and 
bonding, b) identity formation, c) race and adoption, and d) post-adoption support requirements (Walton, 2015). 



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While all the research addressed adoptees’ actual experiences, several gaps in the literature were discovered, such 
as the lack of social services assistance throughout the adoptee’s life and the lack of knowledge and information 
on how to cope with racial, ethnic, and cultural challenges. According to Reynolds et al. (2021), adoptive parents 
must be trained to help with coping methods if and when problematic behavior is demonstrated by the adoptee 
caused by a variety of challenges. It is evident that there is a severe lack of post-adoption counseling for adoptees. 
For the adoption process to be successful, there must be communication, support, and expert assistance.  

For this study, two theoretical frameworks, namely the primal wound theory and attachment theory, will help to 
guide the discussion of this theme and to further understand the repercussions of adoption. According to Verrier’s 
(2003) primal wound theory, this wound follows immediately after birth, as the detachment of the birth mother 
impacts the adopted child by feelings of neglect and void. Based on this theory, adoption results in a 
primal/narcissistic wound that leaves the child craving connection with the biological mother due to the separation. 
The repercussions result in emotions of worthlessness, doubt, hopelessness, and solitude, as well as 
emotional/behavioral issues, relational issues, low self-esteem, and thoughts of unworthiness. Similarly, 
attachment theory also helps to guide this study. Attachment theory postulates that humans have a basic need for 
protective attachment figures to survive, from the beginning of life itself (Flaherty & Sadler, 2011). Literature 
demonstrates that both adoptees and adoptive parents may face various social and psychological challenges 
throughout their lives, but sadly, neither group receives the necessary help or training (Darnell et al., 2017). 
Scarvelis et al. (2017) noted that adoptive parents had difficulty teaching their kids coping skills. Support is 
essential for adopted people; it is not optional. The primal wound theory expressed a sense of loss concerning the 
hurt caused by the birth mother’s separation. In addition, attachment theory determines multiple perspectives in 
understanding a child’s specific behavior, demands, and challenges since it provides a theoretical, detailed, and 
realistic framework for making sense of the process involved (Walker, 2008).  

2. Methods 

2.1 Participants 

This study's main goal was to seek and focus on the lived experiences of adopted adults in Malta. The research 
question was: What is the lived experience of being an adoptee ? This study intended to clarify such research aims, 
namely to better understand the real life experiences of adoptees, to identify which factors may help or hinder the 
adoption process not only prior, but also during and afterwards. Hopefully, this may result in better and more 
concrete recommendations to further assist adoptees in their challenging journeys. 

An IPA was chosen as it offers a thorough analysis of the human lived experience that can be represented in its 
own concepts instead of following pre-established categorizing frameworks. Because most studies seek the 
experiences from the adoptive parents’ perspectives (Macdonald & McSherry, 2011), this study looked at the lived 
experiences of the adoptees themselves. Pringle et al. (2011) argue that, while a small sample size as in the case 
of an IPA, may be considered a constraint, if the findings obtained are meaningful, clear, and associated with 
current research, they can still be transferable. Through purposive sampling, six competent participants were 
included, male and female adults between 18 and 35 years who were adopted (local and foreign). The inclusion 
criteria included participants who were interested in conveying their stories and had no cognitive impairment that 
might have affected their communication since this study’s objective is to collect adoptees’ stories and their 
thoughts and feelings about their adoption. Potential participants were chosen and contacted through an 
intermediary from the Foundation of Social Welfare Services to exclude any pressure for participation. Participants 
were given an information letter about the study. Furthermore, they signed a consent form after all related 
information was relayed to them, individually by the researcher. The original objective of this study was to explore 
the lived experience of adoptees adopted from local and foreign countries, however, through intermediary, the 
potential participants were all adopted from Romania.  

2.2 Procedures 

A semi-structured interview was the method for gathering data in this research, as it gives participants the freedom 
to reflect, express and be heard - thus producing in-depth findings, according to the guidelines by Smith et al. 
(2009). A pilot study with one adoptee, who was not included in the final study, was done, to further guide the 
researcher in this research. Free psychological support was also available to participants who sought further help 
as from the interviews. However, no one availed of this service.  

 

 

 



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2.3 Measure 

Interviews lasted around one hour. They were conducted virtually via zoom at a time convenient to the participants. 
Translation into English was done by a professional translator, as all interviews were conducted in Maltese, the 
preferred choice by all participants.  

Participants were interviewed on their lived experience of adoption and its impact on their emotional well-being, 
the challenges they encountered, their relationships, and their identity. Moreover, the questions addressed coping 
mechanisms and support approaches utilized throughout this delicate phase. Further questions were asked to 
examine the research issue and objectives of this exploration and help keep the conversation running smoothly 
(Smith et al., 2009). To validate the comprehensive and thorough details acquired from the adoptees, probes and 
prompts were also used, such as “can you elaborate further”, “can you give me an example”, and “how has it 
affected you”, among others (Parahoo, 2006). 

2.4 Data Analysis 

According to Smith and Osborn (2015), it is essential that observations, participants’ accounts, and data on their 
expressions are collected. The researcher observed for non-verbal signs to assess the reliability and richness of the 
participant’s accounts. Therefore, field notes were ideal for jotting down non-verbal signs and behaviors that could 
not be acquired through audio recordings. Furthermore, the researcher obtained approval from participants to 
contact them if any additional explanation was needed, but this was not required.  

The six participants in this research were all residing in Malta and adopted from Romania between the ages of 3 
months and 2 years, with five being female and one male. To maintain anonymity, the participants’ ages were not 
specified, but they ranged from mid-twenties to late thirties. 

As mentioned earlier, a pilot study was utilized as a trial of the interview sample to determine any issues that may 
arise whilst the author is learning. Even so, the study was a successful trial. The researcher acknowledged her role 
in the research through personal reflexivity that may have affected the participant’s answers throughout the 
interview (Parahoo, 2006). Relative to Holloway and Freshwater’s (2007) suggestion, a reflective diary is 
considered essential to the interpretive and systematic approach.  

Smith et al. (2009) define the interpretation procedure as a continuous process which can be done by looking at 
the transcript in a structured manner. Hence, the transcribed interviews were analyzed utilizing Smith et al.’s (2009) 
strategies, namely step 1: linking to accounts of the participants; step 2: identifying emergent themes; step 3: 
forming connections between emergent themes, and step 4: finalizing the narrative account of the findings. 

2.5 Ethical Approval 

An intermediary contacted all participants, supplying them with an information letter and consent form which were 
duly explained to them. Participants returned the signed consent forms to the researcher, and agreed on time and 
place of their own choosing for the interview to be conducted. Participants were informed that participation was 
voluntary, that they could stop and withdraw from the study at any time, without any adverse consequences, that 
all data will be anonymised, thereby any publications related to this study later on will not have any information 
which can identify the participants. The coded audio recordings and transcripts were saved on the author’s 
password-protected private computer and kept in an encoded design. All ethical clearance from the University of 
Malta - Faculty of Health Sciences Research Ethics Board was duly given.  

3. Results 

Using the methods described by Smith et al. (2009), a range of emerging themes from the participants’ life stories 
were extracted from the interview transcripts. The superordinate and subordinate themes designed in this study 
and any interpretations that answer the primary research topic are presented in this chapter.  

Analysis of interview transcripts revealed that metaphors and word repetition were the most frequently utilized 
language components among participants. Metaphors can provide original and imaginative perspectives to 
comprehend familiar processes and induce emotion (Carpenter, 2008). Repetition was employed in nearly all of 
the interviews conducted. According to Oostdijk (2011), individuals use these repetitions to emphasize something 
or to express strong emotions.  

Analysis of the interviews resulted in the formation of four superordinate themes and 10 subordinate themes among 
the six adoptees who participated in this research. The superordinate themes include: “the chosen one”, “the grafted 
tree”, “sandcastles of the heart”, and “on eagle’s wings”.  

 



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Table 1. The identified superordinate themes and emergent themes 

Superordinate Themes Emergent Themes 

The Chosen One (adopted child) The adoption story 
The adoptive family 
Acceptance 

The Grafted Tree (dynamics of adoption & identity) Identity exploration 
Bullying 
Anger

Sandcastles of the Heart (adoptees’ fantasies about biological parents) The biological family  
Connection 

On Eagle’s Wings Post-adoption support 
Resilience 

 

The next section individually portrays each superordinate theme and provides supporting excerpts.  

Superordinate Theme 1: The Chosen One  

In the first superordinate theme, “the chosen one”, all participants expressed their unique adoption story and 
process as a critical transitional point when their lives were significantly altered. They also described this process 
as challenging for various reasons, most often influenced by what their adoptive parents told them when they were 
very young.  

This theme was inspired by the participants in this study which focuses on the family triad and gives a thorough 
explanation of the process of adoption and its impact on adoptees. All participants began their interviews by 
recalling when they were adopted from orphanages, foster families, and the streets. They all expressed feelings of 
being lucky and being chosen by their adoptive parents. Still, some felt they had no choice and no consent in the 
adoption process, as they were adopted between the ages of four months and fourteen years: “It’s lucky… I got a 
second chance for life.” (Leah, p. 3, line 10).  

The Adoption Story  

Each of the six participants provided a detailed and distinct account of their adoption experience, including the 
reasons for their adoption and any complications or issues that arose prior to the adoption process. All adoptees 
stated that they were given up for adoption because their biological parents were in poor health and unable to care 
for them: “You’re given into the hands of someone else because your biological parents couldn’t at that time.” 
(Rebecca, p. 2, line 2).  

Difficulties with the adoption process were prevalent at that time for various reasons, including financial issues, 
paperwork, lawyers, conflicts, and health problems caused by poor personal conditions. “It wasn’t a smooth 
process, and I was not well; if I was planned, she hadn’t put me into the system yet” (Leah, p. 2, line 4)  

Therefore, the adoption process was quite prolonged on nearly all accounts, leading to complications, for instance, 
postponement in the adoption system and the need for extensive medical and psychiatric care.  

The Adoptive Family 

All participants described that adoption was never kept as a secret or hidden subject. Instead, it was always openly 
discussed from a very young age and as they were growing up, which participants felt was ideal and very helpful. 

Abigail also recalled her memories by stating that: “ I grew up, from a very young age knowing that I was adopted.” 
(Abigail, p. 4, line 12)  

Adoptees recalled their adoptive parents’ disclosure of their adoption to them in various ways, including reading 
children’s books, presenting photos, using metaphors, and presenting objects significant to the child’s development. 
“They were very informative. They even had a photo to show me of my mum. They showed me my documents, my 
Romanian passport.” (Leah, p. 5, lines 13–14)  

Acceptance 

Acceptance of their adoption was not always a smooth process. Confusion with what to do with any information 
given at the time often ensued: “I couldn’t understand because to me they were my parents… to me, they were my 
parents, and that is who I knew” (Leah, p. 5, lines 3-6). 



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However, most adoptees’ upbringings allowed them to accept the adoption without hesitation. It was explained 
that acceptance begins with one’s acceptance of themselves. In fact, Rebecca said: “I just sort of grew into it 
accepting it” (Rebecca, p. 1, line 20). Some tried to hide that they were adopted because of fear of rejection or of 
getting bullied as in the case of Ella: “Nearly no one knew. No one, except a girl in secondary… we had an 
argument, and she used it to ridicule me. And from that day onwards, no one ever knew.” (Ella, p. 2, lines 15-17). 

Despite these realities, almost all adoptees reported feeling fortunate to have known they were adopted at a young 
age and considered themselves lucky.  

Superordinate Theme 2: The Grafted Tree  

Adoption further affected the identity and self-perception of the participants over time, as well as their adoption 
experiences, since some participants discovered they were adopted at the age of 14. As a result, “the grafted tree” 
theme emerged as the second superordinate theme, as grafted trees generate in non-“normal” ways but are handled 
with care and love.  

Identity Exploration 

Identity development is a lifelong process that begins in childhood, evolves in adolescence, and continues in 
adulthood, resulting in an adoptive identity. This theme is based on how adoptees see themselves in relation to 
others since adoptive identity makes them unique. The developed adoptive identity aids adoptees in answering 
fundamental questions. For instance, Isaac expressed that asking these questions is self-evident and crucial since 
such questions are integral to his life: “You’ll ask, obviously… I thought, who do I belong to? Who am I truly? 
Where am I from?” (Isaac, p. 2, line 22)  

For Abigail, growing up meant a confusing journey, and it was only when she reached her mid-teens to adjust and 
accept her adoption status.  

Some adoptees who participated in the study felt uncomfortable disclosing that they were adopted and did not 
want to face their reality. They even lied about their identity so that no one would question them apart from their 
close family and friends. The researcher speculated that there was truth to their claims and investigated the 
possibility that bullying, fear of rejection, and a desire not to hurt their adoptive parents were the primary 
motivations for lying and concealing their identity.  

Throughout the interview, Leah described the annoyance she felt whenever people made comparisons between her 
and her adoptive parents, knowing perfectly well that such a thing was impossible given that her adoptive parents 
were not her biological parents.  

Still, all six participants described how, throughout their lives, they experienced periods of conflicting identities.  

Bullying 

Fear of rejection or fear of disappointment or disapproval by others may also lead to hiding one’s adoptive reality. 
This could lead to a lonesome existence: “In secondary school… once we had an argument, and she used it to 
ridicule me… I felt angry and lonely.”(Ella, p. 5, line 13). 

Desiree also recounted that she was bullied at a very young age. “When I entered school, like, from a young age, 
I started to suffer from a lot of bullying... From a young age, I was bullied because I am a quiet girl.” (Desiree, p. 
5, line 13) . 

Bullying creates a wound that can ultimately affect adoptees’ evolving identity. Unfortunately, they could not 
escape these differences and had to learn how to adjust and understand them. 

Anger 

Adoptees recounted various episodes related to their feelings of anger. The source of this anger frequently stemmed 
from being abandoned by their biological parents and the resulting separation. Rebecca expressed her anger and 
hurt by the following excerpts: “I was given into the hands of someone else.” (Rebecca, p. 2, line 2).  

Leah harbored resentment toward her birth mother as she was not always intended for adoption, but her birth 
mother intended to make money off of her. Her birth mother was expecting another child as Leah was going 
through the adoption process. Leah described the complexity of her conflicting emotions as, despite the resentment 
she harbored toward her biological mother, she also felt gratitude toward her adoptive parents. In fact, she 
expressed: “I wasn’t initially planned to get adopted, but then you know you cannot take care of the… child, and 
you get pregnant again. In the sense that it defeats the purpose of the concept of what was going on, that is the 
anger I had towards her.” (Leah, p. 10, lines 14–18).  



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Anger resulted also because the adoptees were not mature and old enough to express their thoughts: “When I was 
small, and I needed to sort of speak, to say something… for example, ‘no, don’t let me go, I want to stay’, I couldn’t. 
I had to let go without consent.” (Abigail, p. 3, lines 17–18).  

The complex dynamics of adoption caused the adoptees to experience a range of challenging emotions at various 
points in their development. Although they got along well with their friends and family, some participants said 
they were angry because they were the “only child” in their family and therefore the adoptees felt “overprotective”. 
Some adoptees also expressed loneliness or an empty feeling as if something was missing in their lives. “I had 
friends, and I got along with everyone, but I always felt very lonely… something is missing.” (Rebecca, p. 4, lines 
4-5). 

Superordinate Theme 3: Sandcastles of the Heart 

The third superordinate theme that emerged was “sandcastles of the heart”, as some respondents expressed the 
desire and curiosity to return to their roots and search for their biological parents to build the connection they 
longed for throughout their lives. Others were not interested at all due to mixed feelings of pain and anger. Some 
participants adapted to and overcame life’s challenges through resilience, but others needed help from healthcare 
professionals to acknowledge their loss and begin healing. The final superordinate theme, “on eagle’s wings”, 
revealed aspects of the adoptee’s journey in overcoming their painful past through various support and adjusting 
to a new identity as an adoptee. All interviewees expressed gratitude and faith toward their adoption experience 
by describing themselves as “lucky”, “grateful”, and “blessed”.  

A participant mentioned a song by Beyoncé titled “Sandcastles” as an expression of suffering caused by people 
who walk away from relationships for various reasons, only to find out that their hearts continue to love the people 
they abandoned even after they have moved on. The researcher felt that this metaphor was appropriate in this 
context since most adoptees expressed the desire and fantasized about their biological family. 

The adoptee’s genuine feelings to give their life meaning are personified by their interest in building sandcastles. 
Every person takes great care and pride in building and protecting their mental dreams and sandcastles. The time 
spent together and the bonds formed while building the sandcastles are well worth the risk of having them 
destroyed by the elements of life. 

The Biological Family 

Almost everyone expressed a desire to find their biological relatives, whether out of curiosity, the desire to finally 
feel loved, or a sense of belonging. Their adoptive parents were willing to support them in finding their family.  

One adoptee had in fact traveled back to her birth country to meet her biological family. Interestingly, she was 
somehow reluctant to inform her adoptive parents about this journey, perhaps for fear of being misunderstood.  

Connection 

Almost all adoptees wished to find their birth families to fill an emotional void and “close the circle”. Therefore, 
this section primarily focuses on connection and attachment following the participants’ desire and need to know 
more about their biological parents.  

Following the meeting with her biological mother, Abigail revealed that she was not disappointed by the encounter 
or the story behind her adoption, as she could see and hear the story from her biological mother’s perspective. 
Nevertheless, Abigail discovered that despite this encounter and the relationship that developed over a year and a 
half after meeting her biological mother, the void she had felt her entire life remained. Abigail also mentioned that 
she now keeps in contact with her family and looks forward to visiting them: “But then I realized that meeting her, 
meeting all my family… it still didn’t fill that void… so I think it will remain there. But I am aware of it.” (Abigail, 
p. 5, lines 16-18). 

Superordinate Theme 4: On Eagle’s Wings 

The researcher was inspired by her spirituality for this theme and chose this metaphor since the eagle is unique, 
and its wings symbolize the affection of God’s refuge upon us. The choice of this metaphor relates to the following 
subordinate themes because despite the obvious loss experienced by most adoptees, solace and empowerment 
found in one’s own resilience, pre- and post adoption process, and one’s spirituality may serve as crucial to help 
conclude the adoption process in a positive resolve, even if it remains a learning curve to the individuals involved.  

All adoptees, even if not explicitly stated, shared a common experience: loss and grief brought on by the disruption 
of their lives caused by the separation from their birth families. Their history is painful because it is full of missing 
pieces and unanswered questions, as they were thrust into a world of unknowns. All participants mentioned 
different coping strategies and support they needed and used to cope with their pain. On eagle’s wings captures 



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this often challenging journey of adoptees not just to find a new home, but also to resolve as positively as possible 
the healing from the bereavement process inherent in such a process. 

Resilience 

Some adoptees mentioned that they never received support from their family or professionals whenever they 
encountered challenges growing up. Despite this, they successfully adjusted on their own to the problematic 
aspects of their life experiences: “I found a lot of strength alone.” (Rebecca, p. 4, line 21). Resilience was also 
highlighted in Ella’s excerpts: “I used to go home like nothing happened.”(Ella, p. 6, lines 13-14). 

Post-Adoption Support 

During the healing process, some adoptees expressed the need for support. However, each individual received 
different types of assistance throughout their life. Leah and Desiree needed the help of psychologists because they 
struggled as children with issues like night terrors and bullying. It helped them tremendously as they gradually 
overcame their difficulties and found inner peace. Meanwhile, Isaac felt that confiding in his family was very 
helpful, as his adoptive parents always supported him: “I always found support, when I used to talk about it [the 
adoption], I always found support from my family members… and that helps.” (Isaac, p. 6, lines 7-8).  

Abigail was the type of person who preferred to reach out for help. She recalled how, as a child, a priest consoled 
her by telling her that her birth mother could have aborted her but chose to give her life. This helped her accept 
adoption as a permanent part of her life: “In a way or another… someone always cushioned me or made me open 
my eyes or made me see a different perspective to the situation.” (Abigail, p. 6, lines 10-11).  

This chapter presented four major themes that emerged from the data analysis of the interviews with adoptees. The 
following chapter discusses and compares the testimonies of the six participants’ experiences with other relevant 
literature. 

4. Discussion 

This study explored the impact of adoption on adoptees through their perspectives as they recounted their lived 
experiences. In the first superordinate theme, “The Chosen One”, results indicated that the adoption process was 
challenging and lengthy for most participants as they explained how complex it is due to financial issues, language 
barriers and more. Moreover, the findings indicated the adoptees’ thoughts and feelings on their adoption status. 
Most adoptees expressed appreciation for being adopted and felt fortunate to have been placed in a loving family. 
Although overall, findings showed that most adoptees were raised in a way that made this adjustment relatively 
easy, this was not reflected throughout. In fact, some adoptees struggled to accept their adoption because they did 
not understand the process or how to apply the newfound knowledge. Corresponding to Bowlby and Ainsworth’s 
attachment theory, the main variables of effective attachment are approachability and support (Bowlby, 1969). 
Notably, adverse consequences can develop if this bond is hindered during adoption (Hughes, 1999).  

Adoptees’ identities were examined as a common theme within the second superordinate theme, with participants 
discussing how adoption impacted and shaped some characteristics of their identities through personal struggles, 
feelings of loss and abandonment and eventual misunderstanding. “The Grafted Tree” is a metaphor for adoption 
as a process in which a child, represented by a branch, is removed from one family tree and transplanted into 
another family tree, where they become an integral part of that new family tree. The child’s identity continues to 
develop, shift, and transform with love and care throughout their lifetime as they grow. This theme addressed the 
adoptees’ identity formation as well as the effects on the identity development of the adopted individual. 

Results from this second superordinate theme indicated that adoptees struggled with conflicting identities as they 
grew up since their identity is changed and evolved differently to what it would have been like had they not been 
adopted. The data showed that adoptive and biological parents are crucial to adoptive identity. Study findings 
indicated that although most participants adjusted and accepted their identity as adoptees, a few felt uncomfortable 
identifying themselves, indicating the existence of secrecy and stigma about their adoption. Furthermore, bullying 
may be a common consequence of adoption, as described in the findings. This related to adoptees’ experience of 
loss, fear of rejection, and loneliness. Emotional turmoil was another footprint in the participants’ trajectory. Anger 
was perhaps the most prominent, resulting from the choice of their biological parents to give them for adoption, 
often resulting in rebellious behavior. Some felt misunderstood and lacked bonding to their adoptive parents. This 
suggests a link between anger and attachment. The concept of anger is connected to Verrier’s (1993) primal wound 
theory, which explains that adoptees go through life with unconscious wounds that they frequently carry into 
adulthood, implying the importance of having adoptees feel safe, surrounded by love and assisted with compassion. 
Bullying and racial discrimination was yet another issue raised in this study, most notable with related studies 
particularly with adoptees from different cultural backgrounds (Reynolds et al., 2021). 



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According to McAdams (2001), when adoptees try to understand their identity, they yearn to imagine a clear 
narrative that helps them make sense of their lives and establish connections between their past, present and future.  

In the third superordinate theme “Sandcastles of the heart”, the findings indicated that most adoptees shared a 
common desire to discover their origins, to feel loved and a sense of belonging. Returning to one’s roots is essential 
because it initiates the process of healing from the trauma caused by adoption, and also helps in forming an identity 
(Darnell et al., 2017; Fronek et al., 2018; Walton, 2015; Reynolds et al., 2021). In agreement with attachment 
theory, this study’s results emphasize also that the connection between mother and child remains a crucial factor 
in the child’s development. In line with Fronek et al. (2018) and Reynolds et al. (2016), this study’s results 
highlighted the importance of the comfort given by the adoptive parents to their adopted children in times of 
struggle.  

Finally, loss and grief due to the separation from birth families was a consistent finding shared by all participants. 
The fourth superordinate theme, “On Eagle’s Wings”, indicated clearly this shared component. Meaningful and 
beneficial relationships were preserved as adoption was openly discussed. Most adoptees reported that their 
adoptive parents helped locate their biological parents, thus cushioning the initial impact of separation. 
Furthermore, this study revealed that support and personal resiliency helped adoptees overcome social and 
psychological obstacles. Thus, assistance from mental healthcare professionals and adoptive parents may be 
essential for coping with and overcoming a painful past. Several studies shed light on the significance of post-
adoption support needs, given that adoptees face various difficulties due to adoption (Scarvelis et al., 2017; Fronek 
et al., 2018; Reynolds et al., 2021). It was suggested that adoptees can maintain a positive outlook on life by 
accepting change, exercising self-control, and being resilient in response to challenges (March et al. 2000). The 
relation between the main caregiver and the adopted child remains crucial for the child’s development, in line with 
attachment theory. 

4.1 Recommendations of this Study 

A number of recommendations result from this study. First, adoption is a unique process that elicits a number of 
strong emotions in the adoptee. In order to find a manageable closure or rather positive resolution to this very 
personal and existential reality, one is bound to face squarely and process the many strong emotions involved. 
Having a system that caters and addresses this aspect among adoptees, especially for those who show the need for 
it, is a must for a society that needs to meet the demand not just for parents seeking to adopt, but also to equip both 
adoptive parents and adoptees with the journey post-adoption. 

Moreover, the input of mental health professionals together with the adoptive parents is sought for, for the positive 
resolution of any painful past involved in the adoptee’s life’s trajectory. Indeed, acceptance is a key ingredient in 
the adoptee’s life, in order to respond appropriately to life’s challenges. 

4.2 Strengths and Limitations of the Study 

This study focused on the lived experiences of adopted adults, in a novel culture, through the use of IPA. Although 
the initial scope was to recruit participants who were adopted from any country, in reality all participants hailed 
from Romania. The in-depth exploration of the experiences recounted by adult adoptees highlighted the effects 
and difficulties encountered throughout their adoption journey. 

A number of limitations need to be noted as well. Although this study was intended to recruit adoptees from various 
countries to obtain diverse perspectives from different backgrounds, all participants hailed from Romania. Another 
limitation related to the gender of participants, as only one male adoptee participated in the study. Finally, because 
all interviews were conducted virtually via Zoom, some sensitive information and non-verbal communication 
could have gone unnoticed, considering that the topic is naturally sensitive. 

4.3 Conclusion 

This study’s aim was to acquire a greater awareness of adults’ experiences with adoption, including the difficulties 
they encountered throughout the adoption process and the emotional challenges they faced while growing up. 
Findings showed unique ways by adoptees to accept the often challenging reality of the adoption process. 
Resilience was clearly what led adoptees moving on with life. One main contribution to knowledge that results is 
that society and related bodies need to create an environment whereby assistance from mental healthcare 
professionals and adoptive parents be availed, which may be essential for coping with and overcoming a painful 
past. This is also in line with attachment theory. 

Acknowledgements 

The authors wish to thank the participants for sharing their vulnerability and experiences for this study. 



hssr.ideasspread.org   Humanities and Social Science Research Vol. 6, No. 2; 2023 

 9 Published by IDEAS SPREAD 
 

Funding: This study received no funding. 

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