186

DEVELOPMENTAL GUIDANCE AND COUNSELING 
IN A FAMILY SETTING

(An Islamic Psychological Approach)

Anwar Sutoyo

Abstract
This article puts forward an idea of implementation of developmental guidance and 
counseling principles with Islamic perspectives in raising children in a family. Some 
concepts of Islam closely related to the implementation of developmental guidance and 
counseling in a family cover concepts of human nature, purpose of human creation, 
potencies of human, human characteristics, disaster happened to human, and death of 
human. As for implementation of developmental guidance and counseling for children, 
it should start from the smallest unit of society, that is, family. The role of family in 
helping a child to develop his/her potentials is very important because a child is born 
to and brought up by parents. A child learns to develop in his/her environment. He/she 
also learns how to interact with the environment properly from his/her parents. Although 
the role of a family is very significant, not every family is able to play the role well. 
This is probably because of the mistakes in choosing spouses, feeding the family, and 
educating the child. This could probably because of a role model crisis and lack of parent 
observation. Considering the weaknesses, a preventive idea in the form of developmental 
guidance and counseling is suggested. This idea can be applied by a family to help develop 
the biological, psychological, social, and faith potentials of a child. Therefore, the child 
can grow and develop optimally in line with their age level and in accordance to the will 
of his/her Creator.
Key words:  developmental guidance and counseling, Islamic guidance and counseling, 

human potentials

family a child learns how to develop 
his/her conscience and to control his/
her emotions. It is from the family too 
that a child knows God and worships 
Him. This is achieved through the role 
models and teachings from the parents 
and family members in everyday life. 
It is therefore understandable to say 
that a family is a part of a success key 
for the future of a child.

Introduction
A family is the basis for 

the formation of a child physical, 
psychological, and faith potentials. 
An offspring develops, is born, and 
is nurtured in a family (father and 
mother). In a family, a child learns to 
know the names of things around him/
her and the people around him/her. He/
she also learns how to interact with 
things and people correctly. From the 

Semarang State University-Indonesia

International Journal of Education
Vol. 5, No. 2, May 2011, 186-200



Anwar Sutoyo, Developmental Guidance and Counseling in a Family Setting

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Although the role of a family 
is important, not every family 
understands and is able to play its 
role well. This may be because of (1) 
the mistake in choosing spouses. The 
mistake may result in unexpected 
child, (2) the mistake in feeding the 
family. In this case, the child is fed with 
illegal drink/food The child as a result 
tends to think badly, (3) the mistake in 
educating and choosing the education 
for the child The mistake prevents 
the child’s potential from growing 
optimally, (4) the role model crisis 
of the family especially the parents. 
The crisis causes a child not to have 
a definite example or correct reference 
in developing him/herself, (5) the lack 
of supervision from parents. Due to the 
lack of supervision, the child grows 
without any clear direction because 
he/she is always swayed by what is 
happening around him/her.

B y  c o n s i d e r i n g  t h e  a b o v e 
mistakes of family guidance and its 
possible consequences, this paper 
suggests a preventive idea in the form 
of developmental counseling. The idea 
can be applied by a family to help 
develop the biological, psychological, 
social, and faith potential of the child. 
It is hoped that the child will grow and 
develop optimally according to their 
age level and according to the will 
of The Creator. This paper is written 
for that purpose and is based on the 
psychological and religious principles.

Psychological and religious 
approach is considered very important 
remembering that the subjects of 
the counseling are human beings 
who are the creatures of Allah- Allah 

knows the strengths and weaknesses of 
human beings. Allah surely knows the 
potentials of human beings and how to 
develop them correctly. Allah of course 
knows the essence of the problems 
faced by human beings and the best 
way to solve them. Psychology provides 
theories related to the guided subjects. 
Psychological theories are usually used 
to understand human beings and to 
understand verses of the Quran which 
are related to human beings.

D e v e l o p m e n t a l  G u i d a n c e  a n d 
Counseling
1. Definition of Developmental 
Guidance and Counseling

B l o c h e r  ( 1 9 7 4 :  6 - 7 )  w h o 
writes a book entitled “Developmental 
Counseling” states that there is no solid 
definition found on the developmental 
counseling. However, the essence of 
developmental guidance and counseling 
is found as an effort to help individuals 
to achieve freedom, to fully aware of 
themselves, and to have appropriate 
ways in responding to the influences of 
the environment.

Schmidt (1999: 31) defines 
developmental guidance and 
counseling as follows:
... activities and services that are 
designed to help student focus on 
the attainment of knowledge and 
skills for developing healthy life 
goals and acquiring the behaviors to 
reach these goals. Sometimes these 
activities can be delivered in large 
or small group guidance sessions. 
At other times they are designed 
especially for targeted audiences in 
small group counseling sessions.



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The above definition means 
that (1) developmental guidance and 
counseling is a form of assistance, 
(2) the assistance can be in the form 
of giving knowledge or skills, (3) the 
goal is that the assisted individuals 
attain healthy life, (4) the way is by 
caring and empowering the potentials 
owned by the individuals properly, and 
(5) the assistance can be individual or 
in groups.

Developmental guidance and 
counseling is viewed by Myrick (1993: 
8-11) as one of four guidance and 
counseling approaches-althongjh it is 
admitted that there is an overlap between 
one approach and the other. They are 
(a) crisis approach, emphasizing on 
helping to solve various problems 
which disturb someone’s welfare, (b) 
remedial approach, focusing on the 
effort to compensate weaknesses. This 
approach is basically the same as the 
remedial approach, (c) preventive 
approach, emphasizing on preventive 
efforts, for ex pie the guidance to 
overcome or avoid ones from extra 
marital pregnancy, drug abuse, and (d) 
developmental approach, focusing on 
developing individuals’ potentials.

2. Principles of Developmental 
Guidance and Counseling
Myrick (193: 34-37), Muro and Kotman 
(1995: 50-53) based on the definition of 
developmental guidance and counseling 
of some experts, finally formulate 
principles of developmental guidance 
and counseling as follows:
a  Developmental guidance and 

counseling is needed by every 
child. Therefore, the program 

of developmental guidance 
and counseling should provide 
continues assistance, support, 
and meaningful experience for 
the development of a child Every 
child needs to understand him/
herself, to have a good self control, 
to have maturity in interacting 
with the environment, to be able 
to make a decision, to be able to 
solve problems by considering the 
existing values in the society, and 
to be able to understand his/her 
own strengths and weaknesses.

b.  Developmental guidance and 
counseling focuses on lessons for 
a child. There is a tendency that 
modern schools tend to be more 
specialized. They provide special 
teachers to teach reading, playing 
musical instruments, and physical 
skills. A counselor is a specialist 
for growth and development. He/
she works by focusing on the 
effort to help the development of 
intelligence, feeling, growth, and 
development by emphasizing on 
human learning and human learner. 
This means that counselors are 
members of a team which consist 
of parents, teachers, administrative 
staffs, and other specialists. Their 
job is to focus on knowledge and 
skills to help a child learn. Students 
who face problems have to study. 
Those who are slow in learning 
must be assisted to be able to learn 
as much as possible. All students 
have to be involved in the learning 
process.

c.  Developmental guidance and 
counseling involve every school 



Anwar Sutoyo, Developmental Guidance and Counseling in a Family Setting

189

staff. It is admitted that a successful 
developmental guidance and 
counseling program requires a 
serious effort from every school 
staff. Cooperation among people 
who have special knowledge and 
skill on individual counseling, 
group counseling, assessment, and 
child development is necessary. A 
counselor is an important part of a 
dynamic process which motivates 
the involvement of teachers and 
administration staffs.

d. An organized and planned curri-
culum is an important part of 
developmental guidance and 
coun seling. This means that 
the curriculum of mathematics, 
science, and social science 
should contain a goal that can 
help normal growth and deve-
lopment. The curriculum needs 
to support the development of 
child’s intelligence, emotion, and 
physical. The curriculum imple-
mentation should at the same 
time help the development of self 
este em, achievement motivation, 
decision making, goal setting, 
planning, problem solving 
skills, communication skills, and 
responsible behaviors.

e.  Developmental guidance is 
related to self-acceptance, self-
understanding, and self-enhan-
cement In helping a student with 
a problem, a counselor has to plan 
an activity which can help him/her 
understand how actually he/she is, 
to be able to accept him/herself, 
and to be aware of his/her strengths 
and weaknesses. For example, the 

counselor plans group counseling 
in three meetings to discuss the 
best thing that they have to do. 
The counselor can also plan an 
individual counseling to discuss 
one’s strengths and weaknesses.

f.  Developmental guidance and 
coun seling focuses on encourage-
ment process. A counselor should 
create a joyful atmosphere to 
help the children’s development 
according to the developmental 
stage. The counselor should also 
be trusted by the child. Referring 
to Dinkmeyer & Dreikurs, 
Murro and Kotman point out the 
characteristics of a counselor as a 
motivator:
1)  Being able to place a child as 

he/she is
2)  Presenting him/herself as an 

individual with faith so that 
children will also grow as a 
faithful person

3)  Believing in the child’s ability 
so that the child becomes self-
confident

4)  Appreciating a child’s work 
which has been successfully 
com pleted, so that it en cou-
rages the child to try better

5)  Using groups to support and 
encourage the child’s deve-
lopment

6)  Involving the child in group 
activities so that he/she is 
convinced that he/she can 
develop there

7) Helping the development of 
child’s skill continuously and 
psychologically can support 
the child’s success



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International Journal of Education, Vol. 5, No. 2, May 2011

8)  Recognizing and focusing 
the attention on the child’s 
strengths and assets

9)  Utilizing child’s interest to 
support teaching and learning 
activi ties Developmental gui-
dance and counseling appre-
ciate sequential deve lop ment 
rather than just an end result. 
A developmental counselor 
understands that children are 
in the process to be. Then 
their physical development 
will undergo changes before 
reaching maturity. Therefore, 
in planning and evaluating 
activities for the children the 
counselor always refer to the 
level of age development. 
He/she prioritizes sequential 
progress rather than just the 
end result.

g. Developmental guidance and 
counseling is related to initial 
identification to child’s special 
needs. For this, the counselor 
and teachers work together to 
understand the child’s needs. If the 
needs are ignored, they can cause 
pro blems which need fixing in the 
future.

h.  Developmental guidance and 
counseling is related to applied 
psychology. For a long time, 
educators have been observing 
the result of the measurement of 
aptitude, interest and attitude, and 
child and adult’s personalities. 
Educators have also been 
observing how children use and 
develop their abilities for their 
future.

i.  Developmental guidance and 
counseling has a strong foun-
dation on child psychology, 
child development, and learning 
theory. If the counselor is really 
a develop mental follower, the 
guidance program is planned by 
always considering its suitability 
with the age level and child’s 
needs. Therefore, the counselor 
borrows terminologies and refers 
to theories of child psychology, 
child development, and learning 
theory.

j.  The program of developmental 
guidance and counseling is 
arranged sequentially and flexibly. 
In order that developmental 
guidance and counseling run 
effectively, it needs to be planned 
sequentially and flexibly in facing 
individual differences.

H u m a n  B e i n g s  i n  t h e  Q u r a n i c 
Perspective and Its Implication 
to Developmental Guidance and 
Counseling

1.  Human Beings according to the 
Quranic Pertive

T h e  s t u d y  o f  m a u d h u ’ i  Q u r a n i c 
interpretation which discusses human 
beings reveals that human beings in the 
Quranic perspective are as follows:

a. The Material of Human Being
According to general medical theory, 
human beings are created from “sperm 
cells” and “ovum” (Harun Yahya, 2003: 
60). The Quran informs that human is 
made of dirt, essence of dirt, nutfah, 
essence of weak water (essence of 



Anwar Sutoyo, Developmental Guidance and Counseling in a Family Setting

191

cement). The first human (Adam) was 
created by Allah from “dirt”, “al-Ardh 
“ (earth), “at-tiin “ (dirt), “turba” 
(dirt), and “shalshalin “ (dry clay) 
and “sulalatin min tim” (the essence 
of dirt). Human is not created through 
the process of father and mother. It is 
also not created through the process of 
cement turning into nutfah. Apart from 
dirt, another component is “soul” which 
is created by Allah (Quran, 15-29-30).

b. Allah’s Purpose in Creating 
Humans

From the day they were born 
to the day they die, humans are not 
supposed to only have fun. They have 
orders and rules to be obeyed and 
prohibition to be avoided. There is a 
purpose behind the creation. There 
is hiknah and advantages behind the 
purpose. There is a secret behind what is 
ordained by Allah, which is not always 
easily understood by hi man-, (Quran, 
3: 185, 4: 78, 21: 35).

Humans who live on this world 
are not just let free to play and have 
fun. On the hereafter, they will be asked 
about: (1) how they have spent their 
life, (2) what they did when they were 
young, (3) how they earned and spent 
their wealth, and (4) how they applied 
their knowledge. This is based on the 
following Hadits:

The Messenger of Allah says: 
“On the Judgment Day, the feet of a 
slave will not move until they are asked 
about four matters: about how they 
spent their age, how they spent their 
young age, how they earned and spent 
their wealth, and how they applied their 
knowledge” (Narrated by Turmudzi).

After they are asked about the 
four matters, they will receive reward/
punishment from the Almighty God for 
what they have done in the world

There is a job humans must 
perform, that is as a caliph of Allah 
on earth. The caliph here is promoted 
and laid off by Allah to perform duties 
according to His rules and wills. The 
duties are in the field or authority 
according to what is given by Allah to 
them. Therefore, the essence of humans’ 
duties as Allah’s caliph on earth is 
to perform amanah (responsibility) 
according to what is taught by Allah and 
His Messenger. In performing the duty 
as a caliph, there are rules in the forms 
of orders and prohibitions which have 
to be obeyed. Performing the duties is 
reckoned to be ibadah (worship).

The purpose of human creation-
to act as the caliph of Allah on earth and 
to worship Allah is not for the sake of 
Allah, but for human itself. It means that 
the benefits of performing amanah and 
ibadah according to Allah’s rules are for 
humans themselves, not for Allah.

c. Human’s Fitrah (Potentials)
Allah created humans and 

their fitrah (potentials). Fitrah is 
elements and systems given by Allah 
to every man. The elements include 
physical, psychological, soul, and faith 
The potential “to believe in Allah” 
becomes a basis and core for the other 
three fitrahs. The faith potential is 
considered as the “basis” and “core” 
because when one’s iman (faith) 
develops and functions properly, the 
other fitrahs (physical, psychological, 
and soul) develop and function well, 



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too. Therefore, Islamic guidance and 
counseling focus on the development 
of frtrah of faith.

The physical furah is a biological 
aspect which is prepared as the 
container of the psychological fitrah 
The psychological firrah in fact has 
a potential to develop the biological 
process. The potential is called the 
living potential (al-hayat). The living 
potential is not yet able to generate 
actual behaviors if it has not been 
powered by the psychological fitrah 
The psychological fitrah is the essence 
of human character. The psychological 
fitrah lies in the material and immaterial 
worlds. The psychological fitrah is 
more eternal than the physical fitrah 
The soul fitrah is also sacred It fights for 
spiritual dimensions. It is able to exist 
and becomes actual behaviors when 
it integrates with physical fitrah The 
soul frtrah is a combination between 
physical frtrah (biological) and soul 
filrah (psychological). It has three main 
components: heart, intelligence, and 
desire which interact each other and is 
manifested in the form of personality. 
The tafsir (Quranic interpretation) 
study conducted by the writer when 
he was writing his dissertation in the 
Indonesian University of Education 
found that the `faith fftrah” works as 
a director and controller for the other 
three fitrahs (biological, soul, and 
psychological).

d. Human Characteristics
Based on the verses of the Quran 

and the explanation of the Messenger 
of God, there are unique characteristics 
of humans which are different from that 

of other creatures. The characteristics 
are:
1.  Humans are created by Allah. 

Humans comprise of two 
inseparable elements: physical 
and divine soul (intelligence and 
soul) (Quran, 39: 7). The physical 
is a biological aspect which is 
prepared as the container of the 
soul. The soul aspect is not found in 
a jinni, devil, and animal. With the 
soul humans are able to recognize 
Allah, have a subtle feeling, and 
have noble behaviors.

2.  Since their early creation, 
humans have been equipped with 
“religious fitrah” which witnesses 
the oneness of God and is obedient 
to Him (Quran, 30: 30).

3.  Humans are created by Allah and 
are equipped with intelligence 
which enables them to differentiate 
the rights from the wrongs.

4.  Humans are created by Allah and 
are equipped with feelings which 
enable them to know the hidden 
and unseen things.

5.  Humans do not know for sure what 
they will attempt in the future and 
what they will gain. However, they 
are required to make an attempt.

6.  Created by Allah, humans are 
equipped with conscience (fu’ad) 
and heart (qalb). They are not like 
animals who are only equipped 
with hearing andd sight. With 
their heart, it is possible for 
humans to think about what is 
outside the sensible worlds and 
its details. Then, they generalize 
them and produce general and 
comprehensive laws.



Anwar Sutoyo, Developmental Guidance and Counseling in a Family Setting

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7.  There was a place for humans 
before they were born, namely the 
backbone of the father. After they 
were born, they live on earth until 
the due day (Quran, 7: 24). There 
is also a place before birth, the 
womb of the mother. After humans 
are born then they die. Their place 
after they died is in the grave, 
before they proceed to the life in 
the heaven or hell (Quran, 6: 98).

8.  For each individual, there are two 
angels who always follow him/
her consecutively in front and 
behind him/her. The angles take 
care of him/her under Allah’s 
order (Quran, 13: 11). Humans are 
not fully capable of taking care 
of themselves, because there are 
many things which are beyond 
their capacity. There are things 
that human thought are good, 
but are proven to disadvantage 
them. Hnmans’ knowledge about 
themselves is also limited.

9.  Humans are always observed by 
two angles who keep recording 
what they do, both the good deeds 
and the bad ones. The record will be 
shown to humans in the Judgment 
Day in the form of record book of 
deeds. Every individual will know 
what he/she has done and what he/
she has overlooked during his/her 
life in the world.

10. Every individual will receive 
reward of what he/she has done 
(Quran, 20: 15 & Quran, 74: 38). 
For individuals who are afraid 
of Allah and is able to control 
their desires their place is in the 
heaven. If there in an individual 

who is trapped in the hell, that 
is because of what he/she him/
herself did (Quran 6: 70). Every 
individual who commits a sin will 
receive its consequence and is not 
able to transfer the consequence to 
somebody else.

e. Disasters Happening to Humans
A disaster is any undesired thing 

which happens to humans. Because a 
disaster is not desired, people see it as a 
problem. If it is looked closely, a disaster 
can be categorized into: (a) a disaster as 
a “reward” or “punishment” for the 
wrong doings, as a form of disobedience 
to Allah’s guidance (Quran, 3: 54), (b) a 
disaster as a “warning” or “reprimand” 
for humans to immediately go back to 
the way that pleases Allah (Quran, 32: 
21), and (c) a disaster as “test” from 
Allah to improve human’s obedience 
to Him (Quran, 2: 155).

A d i s a s t e r  m a y  h a p p e n  t o 
anyone. It may happen to a pious and 
to a criminal. If a disaster happens 
to a pious, it serves as a test for his/
her faith. When a disaster happens to 
a criminal, it serves as a punishment 
from Allah. To know whether a disaster 
is a punishment, warning, or test from 
Allah, one can check his/her deed in his/
her daily life and its compliance with the 
religious teachings.

The purpose of Allah to test 
humans is for Allah to know (a) who is 
actually serious and patient, (b) who is 
really faithful and who tells lies, (c) who 
is obedient and who is disobedient, (d) 
who has the best deed. The final goal is to 
prepare humans to bear the responsibility 
or trust to develop the world, to guide 



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International Journal of Education, Vol. 5, No. 2, May 2011

humans, and affirm the words of Allah 
on earth (khalifah fil ardh).

T h e r e  a r e  t h r e e  p o s s i b l e 
responsibilities that an individual must 
bear: (a) easy and can be accomplished, 
(b) cannot be accomplished by humans, 
(c) can be accomplished by humans 
but with a lot of struggles. However, 
Allah does not burden somebody except 
according to his/her capacity, he/she is 
rewarded for the good deeds he did, and 
is tormented for his/her crimes.

L Human’s Death
Humans do not live on earth 

forever. There is an ending time of 
life which is called death (A1 Hadits 
in Al-Gha7-qli, 1999: 26-27). Death 
happens when the soul and the body 
separate completely. There is someone 
whose soul is separated from the body 
temporarily. After that the soul is sent 
back to its container (physical) until the 
time for complete separation arrives. It 
happens to someone who is sleeping. 
There is also someone whose time of 
complete separation between the soul 
and body has arrived. After that, he/she is 
returned to the Creator (Quran, 6: 60).

Every living being will die 
(Quran, 3: 185). Allah creates humans. 
It is Allah who will decide the ending 
of their lives (Quran, 6: 2). When the 
time of death arrives, no one is able 
to delay it or to make it earlier even a 
second (Quran, 7: 34, 10: 49, 15: 5, 23: 
4, 7: 34, 16 : b 1). Nobody knows when, 
because of what, and where he/she will 
die (Quran, 31: 34). Death may occur 
to an offspring, baby, adolescent, adult, 
and elderly (Quran, 22: 5, 40; 67). After 
their death, on the due time humans will 

be resurrected to be accounted for what 
they have done in the world After that, 
they will receive reward/punishment 
(Quran, 11: 7).

Death is something definite for 
hi mans without considering their jobs. 
Death will come to humans even if 
they hide themselves in the most secret 
hiding place (Quran, 4: 78). When death 
comes, no one will be able to prevent 
it. A child will not be able to help his/
her parents. Parents will not be able to 
help their children at all (Quran, 31: 
33). However, death will not happen 
without Allah’s will (Quran, 3: 145).

Before death occurs, Allah 
warns humans about several things: 
(1) check their preparation to return 
to Allah any time (Quran, 59: 18), (2) 
what should be prepared to return to 
Allah is taqwa to Allah, that is being 
obedient to His rules anytime, anywhere 
(Quran, 31: 33), (3) Hiimans must not 
worship other than Allah, (4) Humans 
must always apologize and repent 
to Allah (Quran, 2: 132, 3: 102). (5) 
People who die in apostasy belong to 
the infidel and all what they have done 
will be meaningless (Quran, 2: 217), 
(b) If someone feels he is about to die, 
he/she should leave a will to parents or 
family (Quran 2: 180, 5: 106).

2. The Implications of Humans in 
the Quranic Perspective in the 
Islamic Developmental Guidance 
and Counseling

From the basic concept of the 
nature of human beings according to the 
Quran presented above, the implications 
for the developmental guidance and 
counseling are summarized as follows:



Anwar Sutoyo, Developmental Guidance and Counseling in a Family Setting

195

HUMAN BEINGS ACCORDING TO THE QURAN AND THE 
IMPLICATION TO THE DEVELOPMENTAL GUIDANCE AND 

COUNSELING

NO HUMAN BEINGS IN THE 
ISLAMIC

PERSPECTIVE

THE IMPLICATION TO
DEVELOPMENTAL GUIDANCE 

AND COUNSELING
1 Humans do not exist by themselves.

They are created by a creator, named
Allah. Humans are the slaves of Allah.
Humans must always submit and be 
obedient to Him.

Children should be introduced early that
they are the slaves of Allah. They must
always submit and be obedient to Him.

2 . The first human (Adam) was created 
from dirt. His descendants are created 
by Allah from the essence of dirt 
whichenters the mouth of parents 
through food.

To obtain quality children, one should
begin with choosing the right spouses,
that is one whose faith is right, born to a
good family, and has good personalities.

3. Humans are created from sperm and
ovum, the raw material of which is 
dirt.
T h e  s p e r m  a n d  o v u m  g r a d u a l l y 
develop
into a complete human.

To obtain a good child, feed the family
with good wealth in terms of its
substance and the way to obtain it.

4. Allah creates hearing and sight. • Accustom children to feeling grateful to 
Allah every time they obtain pleasure 
however small it is.

• Accustom children to using hearing and 
sight to listen and to see things which 
please Allah.

5 In creating the descendants of Adam, 
sending Messengers, giving sustenance, 
and sending torments, Allah involves
other parties.

• Accustom children to thanking to 
everybody involved in their success 
( p a r e n t s ,  s i b l i n g s ,  f r i e n d s ,  a n d 
teachers).

• Teach children a cooperative life which 
needs and respect each other

6 Humans are created to be khalifatul 
frlI ardh (ruler of the world) and to be  
worshippers of Allah

• Give students opportunity to bearing 
responsibility based on their level of 
development.

• Accustom children to performing worship 
according to the religious rules.

• Introduce the life oriented towards the 
hereafter not only the worldly life.



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7 There is a purpose behind the creation  
of the physical and psyche of humans.

• Accustom children to using the physical 
and psyche according to their purpose, 
that is according to the purpose of their 
creation.

8 Humans are not created to only have 
fun. There are orders and prohibitions 
i which have to be obeyed.

• Introduce children to what is ordered and 
prohibited by the religion

• Accustom children to obeying orders and 
avoid prohibitions of Allah for even a 
small matter, such as eating, drinking, 
clothing, getting along with others, etc.

9 The duty of humans is to worship Allah 
throughout their age.

• Accustom children to performing worship 
according to Allah’s rules since their 
early age.

• Make family members role models for 
the worship and faith of the children. 
Provide opportunity and facility to 
worship at home or at school.

10 There are two kinds of acts of ibadah
(worship) that humans must perform
II mnhdhoh “(prescribed) and “ghairu
mahdhoh “ (non prescribed)

•  Introduce children to the wisdom behind 
the prescription of various kinds of acts 
of worship.

•  Give children opportunity to figure out 
and feel the wisdom behind the acts of 
worship they perform.

11 Allah has ways to develop humans 
potentials (physical, soul, psychological, 
faith), so that the potentials develop 
well and will be useful for the life in 
the world and in the hereafter, that is 
through the acts of worship.

•  Accustom students to performing 
worship correctly so that their faith is 
nurtured.

•  Accustom children to fasting and giving 
alms so that their emotions develop 
well.

•  Keep children away from what is 
prohibited by Allah so that their physical, 
soul, and psyche develop well.

12 There are rules and regulation humans; 
have to obey. Humans are judged 
from their loyalty to Allah’s rules and 
regulations.

• Send children to schools which have 
religious teachers who practice the same 
religion as that of the children, who is in 
charge of educating children according 
to their religion.

• Educational assessment at schools 
and homes should evaluate not only 
knowledge but also behavior.

• Reward and punishment should also 
consider loyalty to thereligion.



Anwar Sutoyo, Developmental Guidance and Counseling in a Family Setting

197

13 There is Allah’s divine decree which
must apply to all humans.

• Introduce children that there is Allah’s 
divine decree which must apply to all 
humans.

• Accustom students to accepting Allah’s 
divine decree submissively.

14 Human life will end at an unknown 
time.

• Introduce children that life is not only 
here and now. There is an eternal life 
after this life.

• Accustom children to doing good deeds 
as a provision for the life after death.

15 Every baby is born free of any sin and 
there is no descended sin.

• Bear in mind that every human will be 
held accountable for what they have done 
in the world.

16 Every human, including the child of a 
polytheist, has had religious potentials 
since they were born, that is admitting 
the power of Allah and is submissive 
to Him.

•The faith potential needs to be cared and 
nurtured by studying Allah’s guidance 
and apply it in everyday life.

• Family should provide facilities and 
educators for developing child’s aspect 
of faith.

• It is necessary to relate lessons to religion 
so that the child’s faith grows stronger.

17 If faith potential does not develop, it 
may be because of the ignorance of 
parents in caring it or there is an
intention of a particular party.

• Family has to provide an atmosphere 
which enables the child’s faith potential 
to develop optimally.

• Children should be protected from 
anything that harms the faith potentials, 
such as drug abuse and free sex.

18 Allah has equipped humans with various 
potentials: senses, hearts, mind, feeling, 
the sending of Messenger of God who 
brought the Holy Books. Therefore, 
humans are capable of knowing Allah 
and are submissive to Him.

• Children should be accustomed to using 
senses, heart, minds, and emotions for 
good things.

• Children should be accustomed to 
studying the qauliyyah (the written) 
verses and the kauniyyah (the created) 
verses through teaching and learning.

• Children should be accustomed to 
memorizing and applying the Hadits of 
the Messenger in everyday life.

19 Every child has a potential of easiness
I of obeying the order of Allah and 
also
I the nobleness of behavior as a reflection 
of the faith potential

• Give children opportunity to perform 
religious duties since their early age.

• Assessment to the education result at both 
schools and homes should evaluate not 
only knowledge but also behavior.



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International Journal of Education, Vol. 5, No. 2, May 2011

20 If there is an individual who deviates
from Allah, the deviation is actually
only temporary, because in a certain
time (customarily in a difficult time)
they will return to the faith potential.

Do not be easily desperate if there is a
child who temporarily is not willing to
obey his/her parents and teachers’
advice. They should not be hated and
treated with hostility, because there is a
possibility that one day he/she would
realize that the teacher’s advice is true.

21 To care for and nurture potentials, 
individuals have to be steadfast in
Allah’s religion.

Try step by step to make children
understand religious teachings and
practice them correctly in everyday life

22 Every human is equipped with physical, 
soul, psyche, and faith. If the faith 
potential develops well the other 
potentials will be good and correct, 
too.

What a teacher and parents have to do
first is to implant the correct belief to
children, that is the belief of the oneness
of God.

23 Human potentials cannot develop well 
because of the devil’s act which always 
deviates humans from Allah’s way-the 
way of faith and piety.

• Help children to be able to develop 
as humans who have faith, sincerity, 
piety, and submissiveness. With those 
characters, evil has no power to mislead 
humans.

24 Devil misleads humans by: 
a motivating humans to ccumulate 

wealth disregarding its legality
b. raising nonsensical dreams, expect 

the impossible, prefer imagining than 
thinking

c. encouraging people to perform 
worship but not according to Allah’s 
way and not for Allah

d encouraging people to do what does 
not please Allah 

e. deviating people from the righteous 
path (sin, polytheism, infidelity) 

f. altering Allah’s creation such as 
vasectomy, tubectomy, and tattoo 

g. influencing people to consider 
something bad as good

•  Accustom children to living moderately 
especially through the role model of 
teachers and parents.

• Keep children away from gambling and 
drug abuse.

• Implant to children the sincere habit in 
doing various activities.

• Implant the right belief and accustom 
them practice the right belief correctly 
in everyday life. 

•  Reinforce that the right is right and the 
wrong is wrong although some people 
do not like it. 

• Implant to children the habit to accept 
submissively what is given by Allah. It 
is not necessary to alter what Allah has 
created if it does not comply with the 
religion.



Anwar Sutoyo, Developmental Guidance and Counseling in a Family Setting

199

Conclusions and Suggestions
I t  i s  c o n c l u d e d  t h a t  ( 1 ) 

developmental guidance and counseling 
does not begin from childhood It 
begins as early as when someone 
chooses his/her spouse, (2) to obtain a 
quality offspring, one has to feed the 
offspring with legal food in term of its 
substance and the way it is obtained, 
(3) the primary mentors are parents 
and immediate family members, (4) 
what the mentors can do is to implant 
the right faith and its consequences, to 
help children to understand the religion, 
to help children practice the religion for 
small and big matters according to the 
level of development, accustom children 
to behaving in line with the religion, to 
pray for the children to be enlightened 
and well behaved, (5) the media that 
can be used as models are parents and 
immediate family members, peers, 
stones in the Holy Book, films with 
moral values according to children’s 
level of development, and (6) the final 
goal is that the children’s potentials 
(physical, soul, psychological, and 
faith) develop optimally and finally 
the children enjoy true happiness in the 
world and in the hereafter.

The ways to optimally develop i 
individuals’ potentials:
a. Implant righteous principles early
b. using religion as the main reference 

in every step
c. always pray to Allah that he will keep 

us away from devil’s temptation and 
also for getting guidance and strength 
in taking the right path

• Implant the habit to perform worship 
to family members and to do the good 
deeds correctly and steadfastly.

• Facilitate every member of the family to 
understand religious rules correctly and 
comprehensively.

• Facilitate every member of the family 
to study Quran and the Hadits and to 
apply them.

• Teach students to memorize prayers in 
the Quran and the Hadits.

It is suggested that (1) young 
people who are about to get married 
choose their spouse whose faith is 
right, who is born to a good family, 
knowledgeable, and well behaved This 
is considered important since parents 
are the main and first mentor for 
children. If one of the parents do not 
have one of those aspects, they may 
find difficulties in bringing up their 
children, (2) married couple should feed 
their children with legal food (both its 
substance and the way it is obtained), 
because food is the raw material of an 
offspring. Food also influences one’s 
mind and behavior towards goodness 
or badness (depending on the quality of 
the food). One should make him/herself 
and all of his/her family members 
as good role models. People should 
always advise each other for goodness 
and give sufficient support for the 
development of children’s potentials 
(physical, psychological, soul, and 
faith) according to needs and level of 
development.



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International Journal of Education, Vol. 5, No. 2, May 2011

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