Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal https://journal.iaimnumetrolampung.ac.id/index.php/igcj How to cite: Rahmatullah, A. S., Astuti, K., Warsah, I., Suyatno, S., & Jaenullah, J. (2023). Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families. Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal, 6(1). https://doi.org/10.25217/igcj.v6i1.3281 E-ISSN: 2614-1566 Published by: Institut Agama Islam Ma’arif NU (IAIMNU) Metro Lampung Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families Azam Syukur Rahmatullah1*, Kamsih Astuti2, Idi Warsah3 Suyatno Suyatno4, Jaenullah Jaenullah5 1 Universitas Muhammadiyah Yogyakarta, Indonesia 2 Universitas Mercu Buana Yogyakarta, Indonesia 3 Institut Agama Islam Negeri Curup, Indonesia 4 Universitas Ahmad Dahlan Yogyakarta, Indonesia 5 Universitas Ma’arif Lampung, Indonesia azam.sy@umy.ac.id* Article Information: Received February 3, 2023 Revised March 3, 2023 Accepted April 4, 2023 Keywords: external migrant workers; grandparenting; parenting; phenomenology; positive mental health Abstract The rising number of Indonesian migrant workers has led to many children being left in the care of their grandparents, who may lack parenting knowledge and cause confusion, affecting the children's personalities. This research focuses on strengthening the positive mental health of migrant workers’ children by their grandmothers as their caregivers in PuringKebumen District, Central Java, Indonesia, selected based on research criteria. The seven Muslim grandmothers produced parenting products with positive mental health demonstrating healthy character, personality, and behavior. The research belongs to field research with a phenomenological approach, while the data collection methods implemented were observation and interviews. This study had four technical criteria for checking data validity: credibility, dependability, transferability, and confirmability. The data obtained were then analyzed reductively, phenomenologically, and editically during data collection. The method of data analysis was done by reducing data, presenting data, drawing conclusions, and carrying out data verification. The results showed that the seven grandmothers focused on strengthening the positive mental health of their grandchildren because a positive mentality could shape positive character, behavior, temperament, and manners, which is the primary source of human beings. Apart from that, the grandchildren become noble individuals wherever they are, get recognition from others because of the good they have done, and be able to reassure their hearts. The basic principles used in the parenting process to strengthen the positive mental health of their grandchildren included trust, strengthening religion-spiritual, honesty, unconditional love, sincerity, steadfastness, earnestness, consistency, and teaching and developing morals in upbringing. INTRODUCTION Parents play a significant role in shaping their children's personality development (Sadatovna & Nurullaeva, 2021), and therefore it is important to consider exemplary factors when raising and educating them, as they have a lasting impact on children's memory (Lengen et al., 2019). Positive parenting, which fosters a balanced approach between freedom and https://journal.iaimnumetrolampung.ac.id/index.php/igcj https://doi.org/10.25217/igcj.v6i1.3281 https://orcid.org/0000-0003-0306-319X mailto:azam.sy@umy.ac.id https://orcid.org/0000-0003-1711-6010 https://orcid.org/0000-0002-9406-1415 https://orcid.org/0000-0002-5796-6100 https://orcid.org/0000-0001-9010-6738 Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families 84 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 control, can result in successful and healthy parenting that positively impacts children's physical and mental well-being (Chen et al., 2019). Successful and healthy parenting is characterized by harmonious interpersonal communication, mutual trust, and openness (Song & Ren, 2022). Conversely, failed parenting can lead to intimidation, pressure, violence, and discrimination that can alienate children from their homes and deny them prosperity, peace, and harmony (Young et al., 2018; Hermino & Arifin, 2020). Some parents, due to economic urgency and financial crises, cannot be their children's long-term caregivers (Hartman, 2018). In such cases, parents may leave their children in the care of a second party, such as grandparents (Li et al., 2019). This is often the case with Indonesian Migrant Workers (PMI), as indicated by data from the National Agency for Placement and Protection of Indonesian Migrant Workers (BNP2TKI, 2020), Ministry of Manpower. The quantity of PMI reached 1.55 million workers in 2019, with a significant proportion being female workers (BNP2TKI, 2020). In 2019, there were 19,597 (31%) male workers and 44,465 (70%) female workers, whereas in 2018, male workers reached 84,665 (30%) and female workers reached 198,975 (70%) (Pusat Penelitian, 2019). Furthermore, there were more female migrant workers than male migrant workers by 70%. Most ASEAN external migrant workers go to Malaysia and Singapore, while Hong Kong and Taiwan are the most chosen Asian regions besides ASEAN, and Saudi Arabia, UAE, and Jordan are the most popular Middle East regions (Sugandi & Heryadi, 2018). However, external migrant workers face a dilemma when leaving their children behind. Children are often abandoned at various ages and may not see their parents for years, leading them to start living with their grandparents (Zhang et al., 2019). In Indonesia, it is common for grandparents to care for their grandchildren instead of communal daycare (Arini, 2018). However, grandmothers given the task of caring for their grandchildren are generally less educated in grandparenting and live in rural areas, resulting in parenting errors and confusion (Dhiu & Fono, 2021). Access to knowledge related to parenting is minimal, and there is no socialization on a formal and sustainable scale given to grandmothers in rural areas, which may negatively affect children’s personalities (Young et al., 2018). Children raised by their grandmothers are prone to deviant behavior due to a lack of assistance, minimal parenting knowledge, and inharmonious attachment (Fauziningtyas et al., 2019). Furthermore, poorly developed aspects may lead to difficulty bringing peace to the heart and mind of the child, resulting in poor morals, negative thinking, lack of courage, and independence (Romero et al., 2020). Not all grandmothers can build perfect scenarios, as some grandmothers may still use traditional parenting methods that do not favor the child and may even hurt the child. On the other hand, some grandmothers have low self-spirituality, making it difficult for them to become spiritual figures who instill good morals and values (Davis et al., 2020). Grandmothers who care for their grandchildren may feel burdened and unprepared to provide quality parenting due to their physical condition and age, leading to low motivation and poor parenting quality (Zhong & Peng, 2020). Bailey et al. (2019) also found that low motivation to care for grandchildren is a problem that affects the quality of parenting. As a result, many grandmothers raise weak, unhealthy, cowardly, timid, and gloomy grandchildren (Rahmatullah & Suyatno, 2020). Rationale of the Study According to Peterson et al. (2019), children raised by grandmothers who lack proper parenting skills may suffer from low-quality care, inefficiency, low intelligence, and unproductivity. Similarly, children whose biological parents abandon them may suffer from psychological, behavioral, and mental disorders, as well as being raised by nannies using incorrect and unscientific parenting techniques (Sheppard & Monden, 2019). This study focuses on grandmothers who care for the children of external migrant workers who never return home Rahmatullah, A. S., Astuti, K., Warsah, I., Suyatno, S., & Jaenullah, J. 85 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 to visit their biological children. In Kebumen Regency, Central Java, Indonesia, many residents become external migrant workers and leave their children with their grandparents. While some of these children tend to be impolite and grow up to be delinquent, some grandmothers successfully raise their grandchildren to be mentally healthy and accomplished. These grandmothers are considered successful role models by their community because their grandchildren excel in school and society, are brave and active in religious activities, help their grandmothers in business, have many friends, and behave morally and positively. However, many grandmothers are unable to properly care for their grandchildren, using harsh, unfriendly, and suppressive parenting styles that can harm children's mental health. Objective This research aims to describe the upbringing techniques of successful grandmothers in Puring District, Kebumen Regency, Central Java, Indonesia, to strengthen the positive mental health of children of external migrant workers. Its objectives are to explain why seven grandmothers in Puring District focus on strengthening children's positive personalities and behaviors and to describe their upbringing techniques. METHODS Design The approach used was phenomenological, which pays more attention to individual subjective experiences (Creswell, 2018). The researcher uses a phenomenological approach because it relates to the grandmother’s subjective experience in raising positive mental health reinforcement for her grandchildren, whom their parents have entrusted due to being external migrant workers. Participants Participants were selected using a purposive sampling technique with specific considerations (Sugiyono, 2016). The reason for using this purposive sampling technique is that it is suitable for use in qualitative research or studies that do not generalize (Sugiyono, 2016).The participants involved grandmothers who cared for the children of migrant workers, with several characteristics: (1) Grandmothers had cared for their biological grandchildren for more than 10 years. (2) The parents left to migrate abroad (3) The grandchildren were at least a high school student. (4) The grandmothers had raised their grandchildren with good personalities (polite, accomplished, and religious). The participants’ identities are revealed in Table 1. Research Location This study occurred in Kebumen Regency, Central Java, Indonesia, in the Puring District, with a population of over 1 million people. Kebumen Regency is the poorest district in Central Java (BPS, 2019). Puring District is located southwest of Kebumen City Indonesia, with an area of 82.7 km² and a population of 52,262 people (26,419 men, 25,843 women). Table 1. The Grandmother’s Muslim Identities No Name Age 1 SA 60 2 SZ 58 3 MYT 55 4 NRL 60 5 MRYT 58 6 MIS 56 7 ROD 63 Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families 86 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 Data Collection The data collection method used observation and interviews. The researchers actively observed PuringKebumen District, Indonesia, between September 2021 (an initial observation) to December 2021 (as a follow-up observation).Meanwhile, the interviews aimed to explore more deeply the grandmothers who cared for their grandchildren when their parents became external migrant workers, using a structured interview. In-depth interviews were conducted mainly with grandmothers considered successful in raising their grandchildren and strengthening their positive mental, moral and ethical aspects so they could still behave positively in life, even without their biological parents by their sides the whole time. Data Analysis The data obtained were then analyzed reductively phenomenologically and editically during data collection by reducing data, presenting data, drawing conclusions, and carrying out data verification (Miles et al., 2014). Data reduction is collecting data from the field, sorting, and selecting essential information. RESULTS AND DISCUSSION Results Grandparenting to Building Positive Mental Health of External Migrant Workers’ Children in Indonesia Primary and secondary caregivers aim to create positive and lasting parenting outcomes for the children (Smith et al., 2018). With such lasting and meaningful parenting capital, children will grow up to be teenagers and adults with healthy and positive mental health, temperament, attitude, and behavior recognized for their kindness by the public (Salim et al., 2022). In other words, the children’s positive mental health and morality are the purposes (Koch & Jones, 2018). A caregiver will fail to parent if the child grows into an impoverished, deviant, asocial, immoral, impolite, and anti-humanist human being (Subqi, 2019). Meanwhile, when the child grows into a humble, helpful, polite, kind-hearted, spiritual person with positive mental health, they will make a caregiver proud and grateful for accomplishing parenting (Pandya, 2018). Similarly, in Puring Kebumen District, Central Java, Indonesia, some grandmothers had to take care of their grandchildren and became “secondary caregivers” because their parents were external migrant workers. They are responsible for parenting while pursuing the main goals, forming healthy children’s personalities and positive behavior. The question is why SA, SZ, MYT, NRL, MRYT, MIS, and ROD focused on their parenting process to build their grandchildren’s positive mental health. All seven have different reasons with the same goals. Table 2 further illustrates their reasonings. The positive parenting of grandmother SA and Grandma NRL shaped their grandchildren AM and MU to have positive mental health and personalities, which aligned with their goals. It was enough for SA and Grandma NRL to make them happy because it did not bother them and make them ashamed. Likewise, with intense nurturing and a great sense of responsibility, SZ and MRYT raised AJ and SIL so that they became noble and excellent individuals. They became polite and generous, active in the mosque, and never caused any trouble at school or in the surrounding environment. AJ and SIL were also friendly and down to earth. MYT, MIS and ROD felt responsible for caring for their grandchildren, trying hard to strengthen the positive mentality of their grandchildren to shape AZ, ZUH and ZEV to be someone with superior quality. Despite their economic limitations, these grandmothers did not stop to educate their grandchildren to become strong, noble, and righteous individuals. In their mind, caring for their grandchildren was a serious responsibility. They may not betray their children’s trust because they would betray God too. They must have clear goals so their Rahmatullah, A. S., Astuti, K., Warsah, I., Suyatno, S., & Jaenullah, J. 87 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 grandchildren can be polite, noble, kind, and virtuous. Thus, AZ, SZ, MYT, NRL, MRYT, MIS and ROD had the same goal for their grandchildren to have a consistent positive mentality to provide understanding and enlightenment. Table 2. Reasons to Strengthen Grandchildren Positive Mental Health No Name Reasons for Grandmothers Raising Grandchildren to Strengthen Positive Mental Health 1 SA • Positive mentality is the primary source of a human being (Karena menurut kulo, kalau anak niku sampun sae adab, moral, dan akhlake, maka sedoyo niku inya Allah akan sae mas) (Wawancara, 20 Maret 2021). (“In my opinion, if a child has good etiquette, morals, and manners, every other good thing will follow.”) (Interview, March 10, 2021) • Positive Mentality Leads One to a Positive and Calming Inner Behavior (Bagi kulo niki mas, cucu saya ini perilakunya baik saja itu sudah lebih dari cukup. Mboten nakal, mboten nggawe rekoso kulo, nurut, tidak aneh-aneh, dan ibadahnya rajin. Dah niku mawon!)” (Wawancara, 20 Maret 2021). (For me, my grandson’s healthy behavior is more than enough; he obeys and listens to what I say and prays on time. That is all!).” (Interview, March 22, 2021). • Positive Mentality Leads to Positive Character, and Happy Nurturing (Sing jenenge wong tuwo, lihat anak yang diasuhnya baik dan berperilaku santun, sudah kebahagiaan tersendiri to mas) (Wawancara, 20 Maret 2021). Caregiver’s pride through positive characters (For parents, seeing the children raised well and behaved politely is happiness.) (Interview, March 22, 2021) 2 SZ • Positive Mentality will Bring Positive Individuals who will Raise Self and Family Degrees Makane, bagi kulo niki pak, ngasuh putu kudu ndadekke sing perilakune bocah apik, pituture apik, atine apik. Sebab, derajate wong kui dilihat soko perilakune, dilihat dari atine) (Wawancara, 10 Mei 2021). (For me, caring for my grandchild means shaping his personality to behave, speak well, and have a generous heart because someone’s social class is reflected by their behavior and attitude). (Interview, May 10, 2021) • Positive Mentality Towards a Positive Character that will Glorify Yourself and Will Get Recognition from Others. (Wong kalau atine apik, perilakune mesti apik. Makane sing didandani kui atine putune, biar dadi wong mulyo, dadi wong sing diajeni wong liyo) (Wawancara 10 Mei 2021). (When someone has a good heart, his behavior must be good too. That’s why I teach my grandchild to be a good person, so others will not belittle him). (Interview May 10, 2021) 3 MYT • Positive Mentality Makes a Positive Personality. (Makane, bagi kulo niki pak, ngasuh putu kudu ndadekke sing perilakune apik, pituture apik, atine apik. Sebab, derajate wong kui dilihat soko perilakune, dilihat dari atine) (Wawancara, 20 Maret 2021). (I am determined to raise my grandchild well. Everyone will love him if he behaves greatly and vice versa.) (Interview, March 20, 2021) • Positive Mentality Makes a Good Personality (Wong kalau atine apik, perilakune mesti apik. Makane sing didandani kui atine putune, biar dadi wong mulyo, dadi wong sing diajeni wong liyo)(Wawancara, 20 Maret 2021). (When you have a good soul, you will be honored wherever you are.) (Interview, March 20, 2021) 4 NRL • Positive Mental Makes People Sincere (Makanya niku pak, saya ajarkkan cucu saya untuk memiliki perilaku yang baik, supaya orang lain juga baik dengan kita dan tulus), (Wawancara, 15 April 2021) (Therefore, I taught my grandson to have good manners so that other people are also kind to us and sincere.) (Interview, April 15, 2021) • Positive Mental Brings Peace Around (Kulo kadang menunjukkan ke cucu saya lo pak, kae loh mas, wong apik di senengi akeh wong liyo. Kae lo’ mas yang dekat dengan dia jadi adem ayem tentrem to mas) (Wawancara, 1 April 2021) Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families 88 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 (I sometimes showed my grandchild an example of another role. I told him that when you have good behavior, you will be surrounded by others who like you. It’s because they feel calm and peaceful around you.) (Interview, April 1, 2021) 5 MRYT • Positive Mental Brings Peaceful Surroundings Saya ini meski ngga pinter, tapi nggih ngertos mas, bagaimana mengajarkan dan mendidik cucu saya, untuk memiliki perilaku dan mental sing apik, saya selalu sampaikan bahwa nek dadi wong apik kabeh damai ayem tentrem. (Wawancara, 1 Februari 2021) (Even though I’m not smart, I understand how to teach and educate my grandchild to have good behavior and mentality. If you grow up to be a good person, your surroundings will become peaceful.) (Interview, February 1, 2021) • Positive Mental Creates Positive Energy (Putu kulo niku, saya ajarkan untuk tidak suka marah dengan siapapun, karena pikiran kulo, biar tidak stress, dan tidak membuang energi, lan ben ayem) (Wawancara tanggal 1 Februari 2021) (I taught my grandchild not to get angry easily with anyone so I would not waste my energy. I want to have a peaceful life.) (Interview on February 1, 2021) 6 MIS • Positive Mental Encourages Prosperity Inner (Saya niki nggih seneng banget, cucu saya niku ngga pernah marah, tenang dalam segala hal, nggih perilakunyan juga tenang, cucu saya juga selalu mengikuti ajaran saya) (Wawancara tanggal 5 Februari 2021) (I am proud of my grandchild because he has good anger management. He stays calm. He does what I taught.) (Interview on February 5, 2021) • Positive Mental Increases Self-Esteem Kulo selalu menyampaikan ke putu kulo ; Le’ nek dadi wong apik, ora tau marah-marah marakno kowe dimuliakan orang, diajeni wong le’) (Wawancara tanggal 5 Februari 2021) (I always tell my grandchild that others will respect a good person.) (Interview on February 5, 2021) 7 ROD • Positive Mental Attracts Many Friends Saya nggih sering ngandani putuku, nek kowe apik maka koncomu meski apik lan koncomu akeh, karena kebaikanmu) Wawancara tanggal 5 Maret 2021) (I often told my grandchild that our kindness would attract good friends too.) (Interview on March 5, 2021) • Positive Mentality Creates Life Wisdom (saya niku sering bilang ke cucu saya mas’, nek dadi wong sing santu, ora tau nesu, tenang dalam segala hal, maka kui kabeh menjadikan uripe lebih bijaksana. Wawancara tanggal 5 Maret 2021) (I always told my grandchild that being calm would bring wisdom to life.) (Interview on March 5, 2021) An Overview of Muslim Grandmothers in Strengthening the Positive Mental Health of Their Grandchildren The seven grandmothers agreed that forming positive mental health and character is self- responsibility in parenting, which the soul and behavior must live to lead to self-glorification. Along the way, the care of seven grandmothers resulted in positive characters based on their statements to love and care for their grandchildren to produce healthy individuals. The community has recognized these grandmothers for their success in raising a positive mentality for their grandchildren from childhood to adulthood. They are referred to as SA, aged 60, who is a market trader; SZ, aged 58, who is a tailor, MYT, who is 55 years old and owns a small convenience store at home; NRL, aged 60 and unemployed; MRYT aged 58 owned a small grocery store, MISS aged 56 years, a laborer, and ROD aged 63 years owned a school canteen. They all live in PuringKebumen District, Central Java, Indonesia. Even though the seven Muslim grandmothers raised their grandchildren alone from various ages, the initial care was Rahmatullah, A. S., Astuti, K., Warsah, I., Suyatno, S., & Jaenullah, J. 89 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 double-touch or carried out by both grandparents. Then it became a single touch, or only done by the grandmother only because the grandfather passed away. However, these grandmothers were still not discouraged and kept going. Table 3 illustrates several manifestations of the superior parenting characteristics of the seven grandmothers of Puring District, Kebumen, Central Java, Indonesia. With the superior positive parenting characteristics of the seven grandmothers, SA, SZ, MYT, NRL, MRYT, MIS and ROD,in the end, through a long process, they could care for the grandchildren and succeed in forming children who are recognized and acknowledged by society and become role models in parenting. Some forms of successful parenting of grandmothers for their grandchildren are as follows. Based on the findings of positive parenting by the seven grandmothers, there are several basic principles in caring for the grandchildren so they can have positive characteristics and behavior that are not contrary to the rules of society and religion. The following findings are illustrated in Table 5. Table 3. Manifestation of Excellence in Grandparenting of Muslim Grandmothers to Produce Positive Mental Grandchildren No Name Manifestation 1 SA • Patient • Tough and not easily give up on raising grandchildren • Being a hard worker in meeting the needs of the family and still not slowing down in caring for their grandchildren • Firm and disciplined toward their grandchildren • Actively teaching religious and spiritual values to their grandchildren 2 SZ • Being firm and disciplined with her grandchildren is manifested by constant attention from childhood to adolescence • The grandmother does not hesitate to give harsh advice if the grandson does not perform the worship perfectly. Even if the prayer is “perforated,” the grandmother will be angry • The grandmother is known to have strong principles in caring for her grandchild or flexible supervision, meaning that the grandchildren are still supervised, but that does imply excessive restraining and limiting all the grandchildren’s behavior • Teaching ethics and morals to her grandchild, including social skills 3 MYT • Taking care of her grandchildren by teaching adab or etiquette to her grandchild • Actively teaching her grandson not giving up easily • As a grandmother who never subsides on teaching politeness to her grandchildren, especially courtesy to others, both in verbal, deed, or behavior • Setting an example for grandchildren in terms of obligatory and sunnah worship 4 NRL • Being firm and disciplined towards their grandchildren • Actively teaching religious and spiritual values to their grandchildren • Being firm in caring for his grandchildren, especially in teaching adab to his grandchildren. 5 MRYT • Teaching ethics and morals to their grandchildren, including how to socialize with other people • Upholding discipline upheld according to the mutual agreement • Creating closeness and attachment between grandchildren and grandmothers 6 MIS • Actively understanding grandchildren in everyday life • Setting an example to grandchildren • Giving punishment with understanding 7 ROD • Strengthening the aspect of discipline in daily life • Focusing on strengthening religious teachings • Focusing on strengthening morals and ethics Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families 90 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 Table 4. Positive Results from Successful Grandparenting Forming Positive Mentality Recognized by the Community No Name Positive Results from Successful Grandparenting 1 SA • Polite to others • Becoming a role model for their peers • Great at recitation and lectures • Friendly to anyone • Being the top of his class and winning parallel prizes at his school • Pious and diligent AM’s grandson stated that: ”Mbahku iki yo mas’ setiap hari niku yang diomongke namung ”aku kudu dari wong apik, aku kudu dadi wong bener, lan aku kudu dadi wong sing tertata batine.” (Wawancara,17 Desember 2021). “Every day, my grandma will always remind me to be a good person. I must be one and understand manners.” (Interview, December 17, 2021). “Nenek saya itu super pokoknya mas. Super cerewet, bawel, tegas, disiplin dan sayang banget loh’ mas karo aku. (Petikan Wawancara dengan Cucu AM) (Wawancara,17 Desember 2021). “My grandmother is a superwoman, meaning she is super talkative, firm, disciplined, and loving.” (Interview, December 17, 2021) Based on the grandson’s statement, the positive parenting process results from giving consistent and continuous advice to enlighten the mind, accompanied by firmness and discipline. 2 SZ • Active in all activities around mosques, such as cleaning and recitations • Being a muazin to call for prayer • Known by the community as a child who is diligent, kind, helpful, and active in worshipping • Friendly to anyone • Never leaving the house without a clear purpose • Being sociable and exemplary for his friends AJ’s statement is as follows. “Simbah itu setiap hari tidak pernah lalai untuk mengingatkan saya untuk sembahyang, moco Qur’an, bahkan shalat tahajud pun simbah biasanya membangunkan saya, kata simbah biar hati ayem adem dan tentram. (Wawancara 18 Desember 2021). “My grandma never neglects to remind me to pray, read Qur’an, even wake me up for the midnight prayer.” (Interview, December 18, 2021) From AJ’s grandson’s statement, the main points in caring for AJ are consistent advice and daily efforts to show the way of goodness and virtue. 3 MYT • A warm and friendly personality • Being helpful to his grandmother without being ordered, understanding his duties and responsibilities • Actively worshiping and reciting the Koran • Sociable • Having smooth demeanor • Never getting angry easily MYT explained how the grandparenting process resulted in a positive temperament. Nenek MYT selalu mengajarkan kepada saya, how to have calm and peace heart leading to positive manner, lemah lembut, tidak kasar, peduli dengan orang. Hampir setiap hari mas, saya selalu diwejangi begitu apalagi jika setelah sholat. (Petikan wawancara dengan cucu nenek MYT) (Wawancara 19 Desember 2022) “My grandma always teaches me to be kind, gentle, not rude, and care about people. I am always told that, especially after praying. (Interview, December 19, 2021) Rahmatullah, A. S., Astuti, K., Warsah, I., Suyatno, S., & Jaenullah, J. 91 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 4 NRL • Polite to others, • Being a role model for their peers • Good at reading Koran and giving lectures NRL’s grandson named AIM, stated: “Nenek selalu mengajarkan kepada saya untuk berperilaku santun kepada siapapun, tanpa pandang bulu. Simbah juga mewajibkan saya untuk aktif ibadah, kalau ngga’ mau saya dimarahi (Wawancara,19 Desember 2021). “Grandmother always taught me to behave politely to anyone, without discriminating. She also obliged me to be active in worshipping. Otherwise, I would be scolded. (Interview, December 19, 2021) 5 MRYT • A warm and friendly personality • Enjoys helping his grandmother without being ordered; the grandson immediately understands his duties and responsibilities. • Actively worshiping and reciting the Koran, even diligently completing the Koran once a month. MMRYT’sgrandson named, ADY stated that: “ Nenek saya adalah perempuan tangguh, kuat dan tidak mudah menyerah dalam hidup mas, beliau mengajarkan banyak hal salah satunya adalah menjadi pribadi yang baik, hangat, dan luwes. (Wawancara,19 November 2021). “My grandmother was a tough, strong woman who did not give up easily. She taught me many things, including being a kind, warm and flexible person. (Interview, November 19, 2021) 6 MIS • Known by the community as a child who is diligent, kind, helpful and active in worship • Friendly to anyone • Never be delinquent (meaning: leaving the house without a clear purpose) RYN, who is the grandson of MIS, said: “ Nenek MIS selalu mengajarkan kepada saya untuk menjadi anak yang ramah dan baik hati kepada siapapun, suka membantu siapapun, sehingga hati menjadi damai dan tenang dalam hidup. (Wawancara, 20 November 2021). “My grandma has always taught me to be a friendly and kind-hearted child to anyone, to like to help anyone, so that the heart becomes peaceful and calm.” (Interview, November 20, 2021). 7 ROD • Known as a diligent, smiling child who is never sad • Friendly and happy to get along with anyone • Discipline and keep promises well ROD’s grandson named IAM stated: “ Saya selalu kagum dengan nenek saya mas, beliau wanita hebat, ajarannya selalu saya tanamkan kedalam diri saya, terutama ajaran tentang keramahan, kebaikan yang tulus kepada siapapun, kedipilinan. (Wawancara, 20 September 2021). “I have always admired my grandmother, mas. She is a great woman. I always instilled her teachings in me, especially about hospitality, genuine kindness to anyone, and discipline.” (Interview, September 20, 2021). Discussion Parenting is a crucial aspect of shaping the behavior and character of the next generation. The consistent application of positive characteristics in parenting can result in positive parenting products, regardless of the type of caregiver, be it primary caregivers, biological parents, secondary caregivers, siblings, or other family members. Even secondary caregivers who are not biological parents can produce positive parenting products by adhering to parenting rules and being consistent in their approach. Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families 92 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 Table 5. An Overview of the Basic Principles and Process of Grandparenting Focusing on Strengthening Positive Mental Health No Name An Overview of the Basic Principles 1 SA • The Principle of trust in parenting • The Principle of strengthening religion-spiritual The parenting process carried out by grandmother SA is as follows. • SA taught and set an example for her grandchild on how to do good for others. • SA always warns her grandson when he is badly behaving. • SA is always active in giving positive advice to her grandchildren. 2 SZ • The Principle of unconditional love • The Principle of sincerity in parenting The parenting process carried out by SZ is as follows. SZ is never negligent and forgets to continue to guide, direct, and give advice to her grandchild. 3 MYT • The Principle of sincerity in parenting • The Principle of consistency in parenting The parenting process carried out by MYT is as follows. • MYT is always actively giving positive advice to her grandchild to behave well. • MYT acts decisively and is disciplined when raising her grandchild. 4 NRL • The Principle of Disciplining Behavior • The Principle of Infinite Love The parenting process carried out by NRL is as follows. • NRL is firm, disciplined, and doesn’t spoil her grandchild. • NRL always supports whatever her grandchild does as long as it is positive. 5 MRYT • The Principle of Sincerity in Parenting • The Principle of Strengthening Ethics and Morals The parenting process carried out by MRYT is as follows. • MRYT is always angry when her grandchild is rude to his parents or anyone. • MRYT gives examples and positive inspiration to be strong in facing life. 6 MIS • The Principle of Honesty in Upbringing • The Principle of instilling and developing morals in upbringing The parenting process carried out by MIS is as follows. • MIS teaches about the meaning and meaning of life after every congregational prayer to her grandchild so that it becomes a mental reinforcement for him. • MIS always give stories and positive examples to their grandchildren, using language that grandchildren understand. 7 ROD • The Principle of Strengthening Religious Behavior • The Principle of Sincerity in Parenting The parenting process carried out by ROD is as follows. • Training her grandchild from a young age to be polite to others • Teaching since childhood not to be a crybaby, to be easily disappointed in life, and to be strong in facing God’s trials However, traditional parenting is often characterized by domination-indoctrination and the use of power by caregivers over children, leading to the child feeling the immaturity of Rahmatullah, A. S., Astuti, K., Warsah, I., Suyatno, S., & Jaenullah, J. 93 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 parenting. This can result in prolonged trauma and mental illness, and the birth of a generation with mental health problems (Scharping, 2019). Unhealthy and sick parenting, which is based solely on passion and lacks knowledge, has been linked to negative outcomes such as suicide, alcoholism, and drug abuse among children (Vanderminden et al., 2019). Both primary and secondary caregivers have different goals when it comes to parenting, but they share the same central goal of shaping children's behavior and character in a positive way. When parenting is successfully developed in a healthy and mature manner, the caregiver's status as a primary or secondary caregiver becomes irrelevant. Grandparents, for instance, can successfully take up the parenting relay of their grandchildren and create positive parenting products, even in the absence of biological parents who are busy working abroad (SA, SZ, MYT, NRL, MRYT, MIS, and ROD). In Puring District, Kebumen, Indonesia, where many biological parents work abroad as internal and external migrant workers, parenting is often entrusted to grandparents. These grandparents, as secondary caregivers, play a crucial role in continuing the parenting relay of their grandchildren. The success of grandparenting is attributed to their tangible goal of creating positive behavior and character among their grandchildren, resulting in children who are honest, sincere in their actions, polite in their speech, not easily emotional, spiritually strong, and easy to get along with (Lam & Yeoh, 2019). Overall, the success of positive parenting lies in fulfilling several positive parenting requirements, such as forming a positive personality and character in a positive way (Sege & Siegel, 2018). Caregivers, whether primary or secondary, need to possess mental, spiritual, and economic readiness, as well as knowledge about parenting, to create positive parenting products. Failure to do so can result in negative outcomes for children, such as mental health problems and the inability to cope with unpleasant situations in life. Therefore, it is essential to apply positive parenting consistently, regardless of the type of caregiver, to ensure the well- being of the next generation. Rayner (1997) asserted that the caregiver's positive personality is crucial to positive parenting. A positive personality includes healthy thoughts, behavior, and a healthy parenting spirit. Parents with such traits are equipped with clear goals and can fulfill their healthy parenting obligations, resulting in healthy individuals. Somary and Strieker (1998) reinforced this idea by stating that parenting should cultivate physical, emotional, and cognitive development to produce a noble person with noble character. Positive parenting is a holistic approach, as emphasized by Kim and Kim (2021). Caregivers with positive personalities and common sense as the foundation of positive parenting aim to educate, shape, and create a complete parenting product that encompasses various aspects of development, such as psychological, social, spiritual, and psychomotor. The caregiver's interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills are essential in shaping their behavior to achieve noble parenting goals. The success of grandparenting can be seen in the daily character and personality of their grandchildren. The nurturing buildings formed over the years by the grandmothers played a significant role in their success. Suciati (2015) argued that parenting rich in intimacy, familiarity, trust, openness, support, discipline, and friendship would form healthy children's personalities and foster great moral responsibility. Haslip et al. (2019) added that warm, empathetic, responsive, and compassionate parenting styles that avoid chaos, coercion, and intimidation achieve greater success in forming healthy and positive character and personality. Positive parenting also focuses on managing children's behavior, and the care provided by the grandmothers in Puring District, Kebumen, Central Java, Indonesia, emphasizes creating a positive emotional climate while raising grandchildren with strong positive behavior consistency. Schultz (1977) noted that grandmothers must receive appreciation and positivity for their independent parenting, which produced grandchildren recognized by the community Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families 94 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 for their kindness, politeness, friendliness, religiosity, discipline, and generosity. Forming a noble character for their grandchildren is indeed challenging. Rayner (1997) highlighted the importance of a grandmother or grandfather's understanding in caring for their grandchildren. Understanding involves self-understanding, self-determination, and full self-awareness, where the caregiver takes responsibility for caring for their children or grandchildren. The grandmothers in this study followed what was expected: self-harmonization, self- determination, self-understanding, and parenting awareness. Such aspects become a source and positive energy in parenting without having to experience excessive frustration, unresolved pressure, and difficulties that face parenting. As proof, the seven grandmothers in the present study did not feel burdened because they could undergo the first grandparenting stage, understanding themselves well beforehand. Indeed, one of the urgencies of self-understanding and inner strengthening for grandmothers is to reduce self-tension, self-emotions, and self- conflict in parenting. As stated by the grandmothers, they sometimes see their grandchildren’s strange behavior, which makes them have inner conflicts. If the grandchildren’s behavior is not directed and straightened out, they will increasingly show no self-responsibility. Strange behavior may vary in parenting. It will burden their steps if they do not establish themselves with a strong understanding and intention to care for them. Djiwandono (2005) stated that self-understanding becomes essential in parenting because it unifies thoughts, vision, and mission. Ultimately, there is continuity toward achieving the goal of parenting. The goal is to make grandchildren children with positive personalities and religious, well-executed characters. A caregiver who does not have self-understanding will give birth to caregivers who damage the child’s soul, which leads the child to misguided behavior. Children will be brought up by empowering lust, anger, impatience, and self-understanding. The results created are children whose souls, minds and minds are damaged, which in turn gives birth to children who behave unhealthily, are damaged and do not understand the nature of self- responsibility and social (Garcia-Carrion et al., 2019). After tracing, there is not much research focusing on the moral upbringing of the grandchildren of external migrant workers. Generally, what is studied is related to the style, method, experience, and parenting patterns of grandmothers to their grandchildren. In addition, parenting carried out by grandmothers is not related to moral upbringing but more about techniques and ways of educating grandchildren after their parents die or divorce. The results of this research will likely become one of the contributions and positive energy to the academic realm, especially in the studies of Parenting Psychology, Educational Psychology, and Child Development Psychology. Implications This study highlights the significant role of parenting in shaping children's behavior and character, irrespective of biological or secondary caregivers. Positive parenting, characterized by consistency and positivity, yields favorable outcomes. Conversely, traditional parenting styles marked by coercion and indoctrination can lead to adverse effects such as depression, trauma, and mental illness. Grandparents acting as secondary caregivers can positively influence their grandchildren when they have specific goals of fostering positive mental reinforcement. Positive parenting should encompass physical, emotional, and cognitive aspects to produce individuals with a positive character. Caregivers with positive traits and effective communication skills can create positive parenting products. Hence, caregivers should have a clear goal and fulfill healthy parenting obligations to raise healthy individuals. Finally, the study suggests that society must recognize the moral, mental, and spiritual qualities of grandparents who act as secondary caregivers and successfully continue the parenting relay. Rahmatullah, A. S., Astuti, K., Warsah, I., Suyatno, S., & Jaenullah, J. 95 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 Limitations and Suggestions This study is limited to examining the viewpoint of grandmothers as secondary caregivers in the PuringKebumen District, Central Java, Indonesia. Hence, the findings cannot be extrapolated to other cultures or regions, and may not reflect the opinions of other primary or secondary caregivers. Furthermore, the research solely employs qualitative data, which constrains the extent of the analysis and precludes the possibility of making statistical inferences. Moreover, the prospect of partiality in data gathering and interpretation should be acknowledged. In addition, the study fails to address the challenges and obstacles that secondary caregivers may encounter when providing positive parenting to children. To overcome these limitations, it is recommended that future research take a more comprehensive approach by involving primary and secondary caregivers from diverse cultures and regions. A mixed-methods approach can be employed to conduct a more in-depth analysis of the data and improve the validity of the results. Moreover, it is suggested that future studies incorporate the perspectives of children and adolescents to provide a more complete view of how positive parenting impacts their development and well-being. Lastly, to ensure that all children benefit from positive parenting, regardless of their primary caregiver, it is crucial to address the challenges and difficulties faced by secondary caregivers, such as insufficient resources, knowledge, and support. Overcoming such obstacles would ensure that all children receive positive parenting, leading to better outcomes for their overall development and well-being. CONCLUSION This study found that secondary caregivers could succeed in parenting. The success can be seen from the children’s behavioral, moral, mental and spiritual qualities, reinforced by the recognition conveyed by the community at the research location. These grandchildren had a positive mentality to foster positive and consistent character and daily behavior. This study also found that the success of secondary care came from none other than the caregivers’ quality. The grandmothers raised them independently because the biological parents worked abroad. The grandchildren were taught to have mature discipline, a fighting mentality, a positive personality, good spirituality, great understanding, healthy communication and extensive patience. In addition, the grandmothers had basic principles established and applied since caring for their grandchildren began. These turned out to be the success of grandmothers in sharpening, nurturing and loving their grandchildren. Some principles of struggle in parenting: the Principle of trust in parenting, the Principle of strengthening religion-spiritual, the Principle of honesty in parenting, the Principle of unconditional affection, the Principle of sincerity in parenting, the Principle of rigidity in parenting, the Principle of sincerity in parenting, the Principle of consistency in upbringing, principles of inculcation and moral development in upbringing. These principles are the basis and foundation in fighting for positive mental health care for grandchildren so that they are willing and able to behave and have a positive character. ACKNOWLEDGMENT The authors thanked the parties who contributed greatly to this research, including academic contributions in Educational Psychology, Social Psychology, Child and Adolescent Psychology, Parenting Psychology, and Developmental Psychology—acknowledgments to Universitas Muhammadiyah Yogyakarta Muhammadiyah, Universitas Mercu Buana, and Puring Kebumen District, Indonesia. AUTHOR CONTRIBUTION STATEMENT ASR conducted deep literature review on grandparenting, designed the research method, established collaborative works with lecturers, psychologists, and translators that helped the Exploring the Role of Grandparenting in Enhancing the Positive Mental Health of Children from External Migrant Worker Families 96 Islamic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 6, No. 1, pp. 83-98, 2023 process of lingua-cultural adaptation, conducted data analysis and mostly took responsibility for the research funding. 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