Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 LET: Linguistics, Literature and English Teaching Journal ||Volume||13||Issue||1||Pages||68-84||2023|| |P-ISSN: 20869606; E-ISSN: 25492454| Available online at: http://jurnal.uin-antasari.ac.id/index.php Authenticity and Its Discontent as Reflected on Heinrich Böll’s The Laugher Ni Nyoman Sarmi ni.nyoman.sarmi@unitomo.ac.id Kheista Sasi Kirana kheistasassik@gmail.com Kusuma Wijaya kusuma.wijaya@unitomo.ac.id Rommel Utungga Pasopati rommel@unitomo.ac.id Dr. Soetomo University of Surabaya, Indonesia Article History: Received: 10 January 2023 Accepted: 25 May 2023 People are justified to be original but it could hinder people from their freedom as stated by Jean-Paul Sartre. The Laugher is Heinrich Böll’s short story of someone whose job is to laugh in various platforms. His laughter must be heard as original but his own life is full of pessimistic conditions. Then, how may being authentic be contested through Böll’s The Laugher? Through qualitative method on cultural studies, this paper puts tensions between being authentic by Sartre and reality of Böll’s story. The laugh seems to be authentic, but it is set to trigger other laughter, yet he is not happy though he laughs every time. He is demanded to laugh, but the laugh is bad faith as supported by Sartre. Authenticity in Böll’s story shows its own discontent. In conclusion, the story shows how laughter is done in a timed set. His laugh is not freedom since his own life is full of sad conditions. Corresponding Author: rommel@unitomo.ac.id Keywords: Authenticity; Freedom; Heinrich Böll; Jean-Paul Sartre; The Laugher http://jurnal.uin-antasari.ac.id/index.php mailto:ni.nyoman.sarmi@unitomo.ac.id mailto:kheistasassik@gmail.com mailto:kusuma.wijaya@unitomo.ac.id mailto:rommel@unitomo.ac.id mailto:rommel@unitomo.ac.id Page | 69 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 INTRODUCTION Literature speaks about human life both in individual and social matters. The idea of being authentic is also in line with condition of being unique. Stated in modern idea, authenticity is defined as being original or at least in the state of being different from others (Cox, 2008; Heter, 2006). However, the concept is doubtful as people are demanded more to be authentic. This is dissimilar to understanding that being authentic is seen from individual self. Today, being authentic is seen from others’ eyes (T. C. Anderson, 2002; Sartre, 1993). The idea shifts from courage inside to demand from outside. By being authentic, human being is urged to be pure, whole, and also singular (Cox, 2008; Howells, 1992). The reality is otherwise since it is mixed with abundant perspectives of social relations. Yet, being authentic in unconcluded due to truly ambiguous matter of reality. The Laugher is Heinrich Böll’s story that tells about someone whose job is to laugh in a set situation (Böll, 1988). He laughs every time he is demanded to do so in a comedy. His laugh must be seen as authentic to trigger other laugh. Other people must never see his own true situation since he is only needed to perform as authentic as he could. Meanwhile, his own life is actually out of any happiness despite the laugh he used to show (Böll, 1988). He even starts to forget how to laugh for himself and his wife. While authenticity of a laugh imposes such optimism, that man’s life who is intended to laugh is full of pessimism. Then, how may being authentic be contested through Böll’s The Laugher? This study underlines tensions between being authentic in a laugh seen from demanded condition and original contention. The laughter that he makes truly seems to be authentic, but it loses its spontaneity (Böll, 1988). Authenticity as spoken in modern era finds its discontent in this story. By asserting complex idea between being individual and social, the idea of being a laugher actually hinders himself to be authentic. He is only needed to laugh but he never enjoys it personally. While being authentic is meant to be free out of any conformity, the man is more pushed to build more sameness of laughing (Cox, 2008). He is only needed to perform popular wished behavior, but he must never show his true beliefs and desires. He is the one that must go beyond his own Page | 70 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 self-definition only by being defined by demand of the others (van Halen et al., 2020). METHOD By using qualitative method, certain concepts and written data are analyzed to answer the question in this paper. Written through description, online and offline scripts are used to explain correlations between Heinrich Böll’s The Laugher and matter of authenticity by Jean-Paul Sartre alongside with literary concepts and existential ideas. Online and offline scripts are derived from books and journals to understand shown matters. The data analysis includes attaining sources, reading sources carefully, comparing with other issues, quoting into paper, and writing down in references lists. The research data comes from both Böll’s short story and Sartre’s arguments. Each of them is read then broken down into its every particular element. The plots and settings of the short story are mainly involved to point significant condition of the man who laughs. The premises and logics used in Sartre’s ideas are also drawn to underline matter of being authentic. The following analyses then include how the man’s feeling is pseudo-authentic. Here, Böll’s short story is the object while Sartre’s idea is a tool to analyze. More elaborations related to opposite analysis are also provided in addition furthermore. FINDINGS AND DISCUSSIONS Laughing as Being Accustomed from Others The Laugher is a short story by Heinrich Böll that tells about the irony of someone’s life, his job is to laugh but his life is the opposite of it (Böll, 1988). He envies people who could identify and tell everyone proudly what their occupation is. Whenever people ask him about it, his mind is flooded with embarrassing thoughts because he could not find the answer to that question. The question does not stop there; people keep asking how he really makes money. And as unbelievable as it is he is indeed a laugher, a good one even (Böll, 1988). This might all appear to be bizarre to them because it was not the usual answer they would receive. He is different from the others; butcher, writer, barber, and else that seems as the typical. This is what he hates; all other professions usually speak for itself Page | 71 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 such as a writer works by writing, a book keeper works by providing books, a barber works by handling someone’s hair, and so much more that they were known for (Böll, 1988). However, in his case, he usually says that he is an actor to avoid any clarification; even so, he feels that his skills and experiences are minimal on the subject that he might as well be lying. However, he likes the truth even though it is bitter and far too unreal from how the reality is. Nevertheless, nothing is more realistic than the reality itself. His whole profession is not to make people laugh or happy, he is not a comedian nor a clown (Böll, 1988). He is supposed to represent happiness as if it is authentic or genuine even though it is not. It is his expertise to laugh in command, whatever kinds of laugh that anyone want, just name it and people will get it. At this point, he is like a robot created and designed to laugh (Böll, 1988). It has become the skills that he obtained through his career, but it is not the skills that he picks up and be useful nor does he use it at all in his life. His service has been so important and needed throughout the time. However, no matter how contrast his life with his job, his laugh has to be as sincere as it can, with the purpose that it can trigger and persuade other people to laugh along (Böll, 1988). Especially with the high-class comedian, as expert as they are, sometimes they also worry and afraid that no one might not laugh at their joke. So, he is a big help for them to point out the punch line of their joke (Böll, 1988). He has to know the precise moment and time to do it to prevent any false or forced laugh. It does not have to reflect his own personal life, because it is what he is paid for. Even if he wants more than just a laughter, his life is full of ups and downs that sometimes he could not even face it with just a mere smile (Böll, 1988). Each day is like the same long routine for him, he would lazily drag himself home, and another commission already waiting for him asking for his services. It does not matter if it is records, tape, shows, or anything, he will do it. He sits in silence, as he knew he has to face it eventually whether he is ready or not. It is safe to say that he is sick of laughing, but it was fine because outside of his job he does not oblige to and demand to do so (Böll, 1988). Just like any other person with their job they need a break or perhaps prefer something else than the thing that they are doing. Page | 72 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 He is not a cheery person to begin with, so it is not a big deal for him to not or never laugh at all out of his work time. It could also be said that he is a pessimist from how displeased he is with his condition in life (Böll, 1988). Hearing other people laugh also ticks him off, it makes him remember on his so-called profession. Even in his love life, back in the day his wife would make a request for him to laugh, but later on she understands that it was an impossible request. So, she already puts up with the fact that their marriage is going to be a quiet one (Böll, 1988). It may only include low tones voices when they are conversing, just enjoying each other presence in silence, and the other kind of activity that does not involve loudness. They would smile to each other here and there, but that is it. They had forgotten and even never know how they are supposed to laugh. For those who did not know whom he works for, people might immediately think that he is a cold person. It is perhaps right since he would always live through unreadable expressions (Böll, 1988). Among his siblings, he is also known as a quiet person. His siblings always think that he is a serious type person. Sometimes he wonders whether he ever laughs and if he does then how it may sound. It is since he does not remember ever done once. And among all the other kinds of laugh that he does, it would be nice to hear the sound of his own real laugh, because he had never heard of it (Böll, 1988). In the story, the laugh is unusual since it shows how someone between his own job and society must deal with laughter in a timed set. The laugh is unnatural. It is done as being accustomed to others. The laugh is shaped to support comedies and other occasions (Böll, 1988). The laugher himself never feels the real laugh since he only does it through certain demands. It must be seen as authentic or it will not trigger other laugh. The main emphasis is still on others, but the laugher’s job is to make other follow his doing. While sometimes laugh is so natural and even particular, the laugher directs people to burst such common one (Böll, 1988). Therefore, his laugh seems so original but quite hollow inside. He himself never feels the joy of laugh even though he is a laugher. He is intended to shape such meaningful laugh from others, but the laugh that he makes every day is actually a void of nothingness. Page | 73 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 Authenticity on Its Rigidity and Flexibility of Images Authenticity is a concept that implies real, original, or genuine. When something is called authentic, that means it originated or came from the original place itself (Cox, 2008; Plesa, 2021). It is supposedly not fake or made up; it should be sincere and honest as the personal identity of that thing. Authenticity has been the main topic that was mainly discussed in the existentialist philosophies (Heter, 2006; Mozaffaripour, 2015). It specifically talks about the difficulty of a human being in social life. Each of the individual has to maintain their own persona and that entity should not be influenced or feels the need to imitate other people’s existence (Jackson, 2005; Mozaffaripour, 2015; Smarandreetha et al., 2023). According to Sartre, there are two types of authentic attitudes; subjective and objective (Cox, 2008; Golomb, 1995). The first one is on how people’s social selves are influenced by how other people see them. Other people as the subject who objectify us. The second one is how we see ourselves as free subjects who objectify other people. Both of these sides are always alienated with each other (T. C. Anderson, 2002; Gregory, 2011). Sartre does not deny the condition of people being subjects and objects at the same time. He actually underlines the alienation in which could really omit any freedom (Heter, 2006; Mozaffaripour, 2015). If freedom is gone, any chance to understand matter of being object and subject is not probable anymore. As a human, each person is different from one to another. The identity is shaped through all of the choices that people make in everyday life and their persisting freedom (Annasai et al., 2023; Gardner, 2009; Heter, 2006). It affects decisions to choose to be the person that someone wants to become. These things have given them the opportunity to be as free as they want at expressing themselves, but every good thing has a bad side too. It makes them unconsciously stand on the edges with every choice and decision that they make (Bialystok, 2014; Heter, 2006). It is due to every action and choice obviously has its own consequences, hence why it could actually limit persons from bringing out their personalities or being themselves to the fullest (Gregory, 2011; Lawler & Ashman, 2012). Page | 74 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 Happiness is not the best word to describe authenticity. Satisfaction and dignity that arise from each individual statement about freedom is more likely to show authentic existence (Gregory, 2011; Mozaffaripour, 2015). Authenticity can be described as an attitude since that is the way people orient themselves to the world and to one’s actions. It all depends on the degree of someone’s acknowledgment the acceptance of their freedom and their responsibility as they act (T. C. Anderson, 2002; Annasai et al., 2023; Gardner, 2009). Besides, authenticity works like an image that grows form the inside and shows to the outside. It involves both kind of being rigid and flexible at the same time as compared to the reality people face every day. Its rigidity is stated through the definitions of identities embraced by persons (Golomb, 1995; Jackson, 2005). The ideas are fixed that will help people to stand on themselves. It is being totally pure by its own understanding. The flexibility point shows authenticity is plural. Own originality is always contested by others so that everyone may collect various identities in the process. This idea underlines “how I see what others define myself” (Gardner, 2009; Jackson, 2005). Someone really believes in himself or herself, but he or she must always see others’ gazes as well to wider nuances of being authentic. In Sartre’s theory of authenticity, he mentions that there are no things called human nature, there is only a human condition (Bialystok, 2014; Cox, 2008). It means people are both the subject and the object in own life. Self-identities exist by relying on how each one shapes own life but it also can be influenced by other external forces. Sartre does not agree with the theory that says humans are naturally good, selfish, temperamental, kind, etc. Instead, Sartre pictures how it feels to be a human which is included in facticity of philosophical anthropology (Sartre, 1993; Weberman, 2011). In the sense of being universal and necessary, the human condition is called ontological. This part shows that existentialism indicates further and deeper understanding through metaphysics. Sartre’s purpose is clear; to redefine matter of dualism as prolonged by ancient Greek philosophy. His main idea is not to sharpen binary opposition, but to emphasize what humans should do alongside with any dualism that exists and may come to the future (T. Anderson, 1993; T. C. Anderson, 2002; Weberman, 2011). Page | 75 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 For humans, freedom is the main ontological condition that is a permanent quality of them. It consists of the freedom of consciousness. Then, Sartre appears with the second type of human freedom that is dissimilar from ontological freedom, it might be called as practical freedom (Sartre, 1993; Weberman, 2011). It is necessary for every human to value practical freedom, whether it is his or her own practical freedom or someone else’s. Rather than escaping the human condition, humans should just accept, follow, and embrace it. Existentialism consists both clarification of the human existence and an effort to appeal or attract each of us to live our existence to the fullest, openly, and most importantly authentic (T. Anderson, 1993; Bialystok, 2014; Weberman, 2011). The main idea of this line of philosophy is to be aware of anything as matter of active consciousness. People should always nod to anything, they have to be aware and respond to anything that appears to them like epiphanies (Greve & Wentura, 2003; Lindholm, 2013; Sartre, 1993). Therefore, existentialism also put emphasis on how own responsibility works in everyday life. Authenticity is the most important existentialism virtue (Lindholm, 2013; Sartre, 1993). It begins with the statement that everyone should never avoid the entity’s own freedom. If that person does the otherwise and make it into a habit, that means the individual is involved in “bad faith” (Gardner, 2009; Heter, 2006). It is stated first as denials, then the lies are habituated, then those become truths. Once things are believed to be truths, those become unescapable without any provided alternatives. Active consciousness then is slowly eroded and shifted by total obedience (Bialystok, 2014; Detmer, 2008; Greve & Wentura, 2003). The faith somehow could be reasonably good, but it becomes bad when it is unescapable at all. Bad faith is widely seen as a kind of lying to oneself, it can also view as a way that ruins or hinder people from accepting authentic freedom and responsibility. Bad faith or mauvaise foi requires individuals to know the truth while also not know it, so that people could be deceived genuinely (Cox, 2008; Detmer, 2008; Santoni, 1995). It might seems like it does not make any sense, since it is improbable to know about something yet not know it at the same time. It is because bad faith needs an Page | 76 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 explanation since the existence of it are both impossible and undeniable at the same time (Detmer, 2008; Gusman, 2020; Webber, 2010). If individuals know it, they will change the way they see it. They will shape again their authenticities so that their identities are meaningful to them again. If they do not know about that, they still could be authentic since people could not be blamed for things that they never know (Cox, 2008; Lindholm, 2013). It is not the same with ignorance since this one is totally rational as any representation understood by people limited only to certain contexts. The concept of bad faith is enclosed with idea of self-definition. In definite cases, humans with their self-reflective ability will never stop asking about who they really are as practice of finding self-determination (Soenens & Vansteenkiste, 2010; van Halen et al., 2020). They must do it to define themselves that should be unique or at least being different from other persons. Moreover, ideas of themselves being their own are contested with actual and ideal self-concept. This idea is accompanied with understanding of identity formation that will make such self-definition meaningful. Personal identity is indeed must be as authentic as possible as it relates widely towards self-image, self-consistency, and self-esteem (Mruk, 1995; Soenens & Vansteenkiste, 2010). Self-image is how someone sees himself/herself through own eyes or from others’ perspectives. Self-consistency is indicated in how embracing identities are actualized through abundant growing over practices (Mruk, 1995; van Halen et al., 2020). Self-esteem is much similar to self-confidence in which every side of someone’s understanding to himself/herself is defined in the best condition of certain continuations. Those three are not separated from one to another, but intertwine through matter of identity formation. If someone is not sure about what and how he/she performs his/her identity, doubt may arise and anxiety will come to surface (Mruk, 1995; Pollard & Welch, 2006). On a hand, that anxiety may indicate that there possible identities that could be explored furthermore. Any possible aspect is such idea that may result to better condition. On the other hand, once someone is questioning his/her self, that situation includes both asking whether his/her self-definition is right or not. It may include ideas between unity versus disparity, public versus private, aspired versus real, and past or future versus present. Page | 77 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 He/she will have three main choices as results; accepting as it is, refusing it, and finding other alternatives such as pretending to do it casually while keep protesting it (Mruk, 1995; Pollard & Welch, 2006). The Laugher and Its Bitter Authenticity The character in the short story faces alienated aspects in his life. He is totally authentic as his occupation is like no other. However, his authenticity brings in ongoing problems that never make his own life calm and peaceful (Howells, 1992; Levy, 2011). He must see himself in question every single time. He constantly asks whether his job is true or not. He doubts himself being authentic as his laugh is always set for certain occasions. His relations with his wife and families are also quite awkward since he is always told as a silent and pessimist person (Böll, 1988). While laughing means to get involved in happiness, his life is thick of bitterness. Being hurt has been his staple food every day since being original for him is being demanded. The first sentence of the story speaks, “When someone asks me what business I am in, I am seized with embarrassment; I blush and stammer, I who am otherwise known as a man of poise.” (Böll, 1988). This idea underlines how he always avoids the question of being authentic. He knows that he is original, but he is annoyed since his job is not usual for people. Common people only know that laughter in television and any other media is quite original (Gusman, 2020; Howells, 1992; Rae, 2011). They do not know that it is set and done by the main character. That is why he must remain silent about his job so that the originality of the laughter will never fade away. Interestingly, that first sentence continues to the very end of the story. The quotation is the following; “So I laugh in many different ways, but my own laughter I have never heard.” (Böll, 1988). He shows that he is capable to laugh professionally as he does it in many times. However, he never hears his own laugh. He laughs to work and his work is to laugh, nothing else. This sentence captures steep dissimilarities between what he usually does and his own life. His laughter does not go deep down to shape happiness in his life. The laughter colors his life but Page | 78 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 only to the surface. He must still fight with abundant considerations to show himself to public or to hide it (Howells, 1992; Lawler & Ashman, 2012). He also has to think more about catching happiness out of his pity sadness, even though he deeply understands the laughter and how to do it perfectly. Indications of authenticity is never without ending. It is an ongoing process in which every steps in it could be problematic and contradictive as well (Levy, 2011; Plesa, 2021). This is what happens to the main character of the story. He understands his condition but somehow he feels constant discomfort inside his life. He is stated in being authentic, but he could not even find his own self. The man produces laughter and indeed it is authentic since it could trigger another laughter either (Böll, 1988). Yet, what he believes to be original must be hidden from others. His job requires more explanations in which he really hates. The idea of make a living through being authentic actually brings in problems to his life (Lawler & Ashman, 2012; Poellner, 2015). He speaks of commercially living, but his truthful everyday life tells out of having advantages to it. The way that the main character tells about being authentic is seen from both subjective and objective sides. He is being objectified every time he laughs. It is done for the job but not for his own life. In the term of spontaneous laughing, people laugh from inside to the outside (Howells, 1992; Rae, 2011). People do not care if the laughter is perfect since it is instant emotion that comes out. The main character feels the opposite. His laugh must be heard perfectly as its purpose is to trigger another laughter. It must be objective or his laugh will fail to do its main purpose. There is quite far distance between the laughter and himself and that condition is not felt by common people (Böll, 1988). He is defined not by his own self but from how he perfectly produces his laughter constantly. The same idea also happens to the subjective side. He knows that he is authentic, but he is displeased when he must speak about his job. It is quite clear that he is not quite proud about his job. He is an artist, a good one that has skill to laugh and provoke another as well (Böll, 1988). The understanding of his own skill is well known by himself and he knows how to make money out of it. His infectious laughter is a gift, but others may never understand it well. Others will also think that Page | 79 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 as quite spontaneous, but actually, he is required to do it. He is thoughtful about how he must laugh in carefully timed and it works every time. The way he sees himself and how others see him is quite in problematic tension (Levy, 2011; Lindholm, 2013). However, that tension is only seen from his own side as it is a feeling from the subject that does the deed. In this case, while being authentic requires balance between own self and others, the reality is always different since it contains thick discontent in between. As a subject, self-identities exist through various human conditions. The condition is constructed socially and individually but not naturally (Cox, 2009; Howells, 1992). The natural part is merely about the departing point, but not through the process that is more complex in advance. This idea of being subject is to be own self throughout freedom. What the main character feels is that his freedom is limited. This is indeed in line with the principle of human right that must be limited by own deeds and restricted by others’ (Levy, 2011; Rae, 2011). It is not infinite and will surely come to point of being alienated. His freedom exists in how he maintains his laughter to the public. He must stay as a genuine artist in which he must produce constant great laughter. The skill that he has will be perfectly practiced to many occasions. Even in his limited freedom, he could not be totally free like other artists who make art every time they like (Cox, 2009; Levy, 2011). He is demanded to do so and he must be perfect every time he performs his laughter. It could be told that his condition is being hindered. He has his freedom but he knows his restriction as well. The freedom exists but he could not act that freely (Cox, 2009; Lindholm, 2013; Santoni, 1995). Another aspect of authenticity is about truth. The main character speaks; “For a long time, in order to avoid tiresome explanations, I called myself an actor, but my talents in the field of mime and elocution are so meager that I felt this designation to be too far from the truth: I love the truth, and the truth is: I am a laugher.” (Böll, 1988). He understands the real truth that he really likes. Then, he knows how it tastes; bitter. He knows he is quite authentic, but he must always hide his occupation. The truth must be hidden both to avoid further explanation and to keep his laughter perfect to the stage. He embraces the truth that he could not be Page | 80 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 otherwise than himself, that is a laugher. Here, the idea of truth for him must be in line with his responsibility (Lindholm, 2013; Salmela, 2005). If the truth comes out, it will be public, and his laughter will not make sense anymore. He must remain silent like a spy who has burden of secret on his shoulders. If he has to tell people about the truth, he must keep it only to several ones. The idea of silence is due to his truth in being authentic is not in line with any common openness (Rae, 2011; Webber, 2010). He must do it on set and he even forgets how to laugh instantly at home. His wife asks him to laugh but he could not do the authentic one beside what he does to the performance. Even he speaks that, “So our marriage is a quiet, peaceful one, because my wife has also forgotten how to laugh: now and again I catch her smiling, and I smile too.” (Böll, 1988). He realizes that he has not only infectious laughter, but also the silence one. The wife also becomes silent since she could not leave her husband without any conscience to laugh. It is quite sad seeing how someone could not really laugh in instance, but the smile is really authentic for them. The sincere smile is perfectly compared by the main character to the performance he does. The laughter must be like a blast that violently provokes others to yell either. However, a smile is a deeper emotion that works like a Morse signal to those who understand it (Plesa, 2021; Poellner, 2015). The main character also feels the bad faith. The concept is known from existentialism in which someone acts false values and states it as authenticity (Cox, 2009; Gusman, 2020; Plesa, 2021). The freedom is denied though the person knows that his or her freedom is beyond the current situation. The laugher as the main character underlines his skill to do a great laughter, but he even forgets how to do it spontaneously (Böll, 1988). He knows that it is in his hand, but he only uses it to the job, then he slowly drowns to forget unconsciously. He has to choose whether to be totally free without a job or having a job to totally laugh every time. Both have consequences he could not avoid socially and even individually (Poellner, 2015; Salmela, 2005). He could laugh spontaneously if he leaves his job, but he may lose his skill in future time. He may even get better happiness in his marriage either. In reverse, he works to laugh now, yet he gradually could not differentiate and define between true and set laughter (Böll, 1988). He must accept his condition of smiling Page | 81 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 rather than laughing in his everyday life. In other words, authenticity in his case negates another authenticity to come. His condition to be original is only limited to some aspects but not for all, yet it is not monolithic either. This is in line with idea of emotional authenticity in which context of being authentic is always psychological (Poellner, 2015; Salmela, 2005; Smith et al., 2023). The main character defines himself in doubt and anxiety. He understands that his job is to laugh but his laughter does not resemble his own authenticity. He denies his identity as a laugher. Indeed, his identity formation works as someone who laughs every time and he has abundant self-esteem yet self-confidence about it. However, he still asks who he really is (Shahar et al., 2003; van Halen et al., 2020). He keeps reflecting his meaning since his uniqueness brings in such disclaimer to his own life. His self-concept is not in static mode, but in volatile understanding. How he works professionally does not shape in line understanding with his personal condition. Therefore, his idea is about discontent of his own identity (Böll, 1988). Moreover, the self-image of the main character is known in two-faced perspective. As a professional, he does his job well. Meanwhile, for his wife and his siblings, his laugh is not intact (Böll, 1988). The difference between those ideas does not reflect such self-consistency in which actualization of practices over an identity does not totally embrace matter of self-identity itself. He is sure how to perform his identity, but doubt and anxiety still follow (Shahar et al., 2003; Soenens & Vansteenkiste, 2010). It is similar to himself wearing a mask to work while the mask slowly consumes him and makes him dissimilar to his own self. This kind of discontent indicates that his self-definition is not definite (Auerbach et al., 2005). It is still infinite since his protest to his difference between work and personal life still opens up to any desired result. In matter of unity versus disparity, the main character still doubts why his working atmosphere is not in line with his personal life. It is similar to his condition between being in public versus in private life since his own wife never meets his laugh even though his work is to laugh (Böll, 1988). His aspired status is not similar to his real one either since what is known by him in real life is actually so sad as the opposite of what he always does at work. He also remembers how his life before Page | 82 Ni Nyoman Sarmi LET: Linguistics, Literature and Language Teaching Journal Vol. 13 No. 1 2023 work is always better; therefore, he has anxiety in how his present time may affect his future afterwards. Because of those tensional oppositions, his choice to identity is not stable. He is not easily accepting or refusing it. He chooses to pretend to do it casually while keep protesting it (Böll, 1988). In other words, his discontent of being authentic is seen in how he wears mask of being a laugher in everyday life. CONCLUSION The above ideas assert that authenticity does not stand for itself in the life of human beings. It brings in its discontent since being authentic on a side requires being private, silent, or similar to others. The more authentic it seems, the more it evades common sense, and the less people understand about it. The job of the laugher is authentic but its uniqueness pushes more acknowledgments from its surroundings. Freedom even is not easy at it seems. The truth must be borne even if it is bitter and unlikely. The indication of the main character’s laughter must be heard as original but his own life is full of pessimistic conditions. 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