PORTAL Journal of Multidisciplinary International Studies Vol. 17, No. 1/2 Jan 2021 © 2021 by the author(s). This is an Open Access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) License (https:// creativecommons.org/ licenses/by/4.0/), allowing third parties to copy and redistribute the material in any medium or format and to remix, transform, and build upon the material for any purpose, even commercially, provided the original work is properly cited and states its license. Citation: Ilongo, F. N. 2021. COVID-19 Angst. PORTAL Journal of Multidisciplinary International Studies, 17:1/2, 127–133. http://dx.doi. org/10.5130/pjmis.v17i1- 2.7530 ISSN 1449-2490 | Published by UTS ePRESS | http://epress. lib.uts.edu.au/ojs/index.php/ portal CULTURAL WORK COVID-19 Angst Ilongo Fritz Ngale Corresponding author: Ilongo Fritz Ngale, Senior Lecturer Faculty of Education, Department of Adult Education, University of Eswatini, Private Bag 4, Eswatini. nfilongo@uniswa.sz DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.5130/pjmis.v17i1-2.7530 Article History: Received 12/09/2020; Accepted 05/11/2020; Published 28/01/2021 Abstract The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted traditional physical, social, psychological reference points and perspectives, through immediate lockdown, discontinuity of supply, exacerbation of demand and the generation of fear, uncertainty and panic. The latter scenarios could be reframed and reviewed through a creative and poetic lens as the matrix for creative reinterpretation by highlighting the impacts of COVID-19 on space, time, mind, consciousness, emotions, thinking, and behaviour, as seen through ‘space implosion,’ ‘the matrix of creativity,’ ‘I and I,’ ‘technological kinship’ and ‘time explosion.’ Keywords Matrix; Space; Time; Introjection; Lockdown; COVID-19 Understanding our sense of place and space Space Implosion Minds are akimbo Caught in limbo The traditional impression of forward movement Is suddenly backpedalling now From expansion to contraction, Projection to introjection And even introspection, With the sudden lockdown DECLARATION OF CONFLICTING INTEREST The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article. FUNDING The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article. 127 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ http://dx.doi.org/10.5130/pjmis.v17i1-2.7530 http://dx.doi.org/10.5130/pjmis.v17i1-2.7530 http://dx.doi.org/10.5130/pjmis.v17i1-2.7530 mailto:nfilongo@uniswa.sz http://dx.doi.org/10.5130/pjmis.v17i1-2.7530 Clamping down on freedom of movement Dampening the motivation to explore, Radical coping demanding a return to basic environment That of family, Reactivating the nuclear cell As the last refuge From space implosion through COVID-19. The boundaries are tight Getting tighter by the day Especially psychologically, As thought returns to self, The ego becoming the effect Of its boomeranging cognitions Becoming more and more morbid, Finding few outlets at first In its thirst for wider spaces, Forced now to drink At pool of contracted mental routines, Surrounded by same faces and tasks Which quickly become irritants, Cues for constant stress reactions Stressing the point That there is space implosion following COVID-19. It’s like people have become manacled Shackled by visible and invisible chains, Causing pains in minds and bodies Both hemmed in by physical walls And government instructions, Veritable stalls in which are crouching the interned Internalizing their unexpressed thoughts Stunning their creators By spinning in vicious circles Of hopelessness and despair, The pall of contracting scope Difficult to cope with And even the impulse to elope Finding no response, There being nowhere to escape to Thanks to the imprisoning implosion of space. * Lockdown and creation of art and knowledge Ilongo PORTAL Journal of Multidisciplinary International Studies, Vol. 17, No. 1/2 January 2021128 The Matrix of Creativity Forms are crumbling Some are grumbling Minds are fumbling Decisions are bungling Fates are dangling Spaces are contracting Time is fragmenting Wills are freezing, Fauna are flourishing Flora are blooming Nature is breathing Humankind is masking, Part is returning to chaos The other is u-turning to bliss, The crucible is waiting Ready to bring forth new creation From the matrix of creativity. The mix up is fertile ground The soil of infinite possibilities Making impossible not-a-thing, Meaning all is now possible, As all return to the base matter That which is not yet materialized But is materializable For the courageous Who will look within To perceive the hidden ideas, Soul seeds waiting for conception And formulation by positive imagination, To then burst forth As jewels of beauty Through the matrix of creativity. Artists are in demand More than they can supply, But they need their supply to flow To be in infinite demand The way to flourish If they can polish their art, To become part of the renaissance Rebirth of artistic magic Beyond the sense of the tragic, To open up new horizons Beyond the omnipresent horizontal lockdown, Ilongo PORTAL Journal of Multidisciplinary International Studies, Vol. 17, No. 1/2 January 2021129 To initiate the way to the take-off To higher and higher dimensions Thanks to the matrix of creativity. * Emotional responses to lockdown I and I Previously I only knew my names But now I have come to a standstill, Thanks to enforced lockdown Forcing me to stay home, And not just that But to begin to perceive that The other parts of me That have been forgotten Thanks to countless distractions Which are now gone Are now getting attention, And I am woebegone Realizing that at last I have come to roost To become unwilling witness To the hidden dramas suppressed Now seeking expression Because COVID-19 has made me To face myself As I and I. A pall of fear arises And I realize My mind is in crises mode, For the mood is of anxiety As the subconscious tries to make conscious The repressed layers of myself That my ego rejects, But these echoes will not go away, And they start playing games With my thoughts and imagination Now run riot, Beginning to formulate terrors and horrors Hordes that threaten to drown My sense of being, And I remain tense Ilongo PORTAL Journal of Multidisciplinary International Studies, Vol. 17, No. 1/2 January 2021130 All the time and times, In this shrinking space Which is now my only scope Of restricted pacing, And it is beginning to seem I and I Are in some kind of permanent shadow boxing. I seem to be in a fight with myself Or other selves as me, Which now taunt and sneer And another part is gaunt from insomnia, What with these maniacs on my neck, And in despair I intend to react, And I fight back But this is no good, So I begin to take note Of my rejected parts, Slowly getting into conversations With the them in me, Gradually understanding their points of view Which seem new to me, But my perceptions too start changing, And so too does thinking about us-me, Creating new feelings, E-motions based on unification and forgiveness, To then release from negative complexes The power of harmony, And the hour of peace, The pieces now coming together Gathered into dynamic equilibrium, Source of authentic power From I and I reconciled. * Reimagining social relations and kinship when touching is restricted Technological Kinship Family links have shifted No longer now a function of blood ties, But of electronic interconnectedness, Creating new avenues For access and communication Based on ownership of technological appliances, Ilongo PORTAL Journal of Multidisciplinary International Studies, Vol. 17, No. 1/2 January 2021131 The new blood or life force Being data bundles, Determining availability for online dialogue, Possibilities of communication breakdown And information blackout real possibilities, Based on electronic connectivity And servers’ bandwidths Determining technological kinship size Through virtual, audio-visual interactions, Physical contact now anathema Thanks to COVID-19, Ushering in new family lineages Integrating all races, continents, and languages In pockets of quasi-universal clans Identified as new normal technological kinship. Behind the mechanical And technical masks In addition to the physical ones, Emotions are de-personalized Captured in and by emoji, Replacing previously shared laughter, Tears, fears, and joys, Sending across signals few can totally interpret, For technical mastery Might be different from real feelings Of hidden manipulators, Sending out cues Linked or not To their personal experiences, Expression taking precedence now, Expressing what it seems But what it means is another issue, As the masses slowly build up The tissue of technological kinship In numbers of followers, Platonic or knee-jerking compliant, Not to talk of the silent majority Seeing, hearing and doing nothing, Part of the invisible, passive And uncategorised members Of the technological kinship. * Perception of time through the crisis and in lockdown Ilongo PORTAL Journal of Multidisciplinary International Studies, Vol. 17, No. 1/2 January 2021132 Time Explosion Previously time seemed certain Running through the grooves Of unwavering routines, Set into mechanical gears even With business as usual the motto As conservative motor of most systems, Motivating repetition of the same In the name of stability and security Quickly becoming fixity Until the bombshell struck To fragment time into times Freezing the past out of sight Squeezing the present tight And scribbling the future with uncertainty graffiti, To be without clear cut features When the COVID-19 crisis caused time explosion. Pieces of senses fly off Accompanied by disoriented faculties, Those of thought, feeling, and will in disarray All trying to make sense Of the shifting contexts Caught in some disorientation ballet, As each and all try to cope To understand the scope Of the new paradigm Which tests minds to the extreme, Through extremes of adaptation and maladaptation In the ceaseless see-saw accompanying time explosion. The sun rises and it sets But really the past Has seemingly set forever, With face-to-face scenarios Now only memories, Distant histories of education Which is now beginning to tell the online stories In the company of other alternatives, The actors and actresses of yesteryears Having to readjust drastically, quickly For there’s no time to stand still, now In the ceaselessly moving kaleidoscope Of continuously contracting and widening scopes Difficult to cope with Following time explosion! Ilongo PORTAL Journal of Multidisciplinary International Studies, Vol. 17, No. 1/2 January 2021133