SAJSM  vOl 23  NO. 1  2011                                                                                                                     31

IF… A tendon parody by Jon Patricios
(with apologies to Rudyard Kipling, Jill Cook & Hakan Alfredson)

If you can get your head around a tendon
That wears and tears and hurts when it’s a bendin’
If you can trust yourself to make Achilles new
But make allowance for frustration too;
If you can wait but not be idle waiting,
But teach and guide and empathise,
Don’t mind being hated, or cry anticipating,
At times not look too good nor seem too wise: 

If you can dream of healing that is faster,
But know that symptoms too will wax and wane;
Accept the days of Triumph and Disaster
And understand each course may just not be the same;
If you can bear to hear the moans being spoken
By athletes often keen to break the rules,
And picture collagen that has been broken
But slowly mends again with all your tools:

If you don’t hinge your hopes on single fixes
Nor risk it all on just one consultation
(They’ll leave and seek some other weird elixirs
And worse – not pay you any consolation!)
If you can diagnose then educate
That injuries evolve over a time,
You’ll start a path to which you both relate
Of organising collagen in line.

If you can learn from Cook the art of loading
And hear from Alfredson how to inject,
Incorporate some shock waves ‘spite the loathing,
The ‘opathy may still be conquered yet!
If you can front this unforgiving tissue 
With load that challenges but is still fun,
They’ll rehab well and not make cost an issue
And – which is more – your athlete will then run!