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         Poor Robin.
      
       
         
           1675
        
      
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         A66704
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         ESTC R26428
         09459283
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         43177
         
           
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             Poor Robins character of an honest drunken curr with a relation of the frollicks of his life and conversation and his epitaph.
             Poor Robin.
             Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698.
          
           8 p.
           
             Printed by E.C. for C. Huffey,
             London :
             1675.
          
           
             "With permission"
             William Winstanley is usually credited with authorship of the Poor Robin pamphlets--NUC pre-l956 imprints.
             Reproduction of original in the Harvard University Library.
          
        
      
    
     
       
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         eng
      
       
         
           Alcoholism -- Anecdotes
        
      
    
     
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           Poor
           Robins
           CHARACTER
           ,
           Of
           an
           Honest
           Drunken
           Curr
           :
           With
           a
           Relation
           of
           the
           Frollicks
           of
           his
           Life
           ,
           and
           Conversation
           AND
           HIS
           EPITAPH
           .
        
         
           
             With
             Permission
          
           .
        
         
           London
           ,
           Printed
           by
           
             E.
             C.
          
           for
           
             C.
             Hussey
          
           ,
           at
           the
           Bible
           in
           
             Iewen
             street
          
           .
           1675.
           
        
         
      
    
     
       
         
         
           Poor
           Robins
           CHARACTER
           ,
           Of
           an
           Honest
           Drunken
           Curr
           .
        
         
           HE
           's
           a
           Pickel'd
           Youth
           to
           be
           sure
           ,
           for
           he
           always
           lyes
           steep'd
           in
           his
           own
           Liquor
           ;
           of
           which
           like
           a
           Whale
           ,
           he
           carries
           so
           much
           about
           him
           ,
           that
           when
           ever
           he
           Disgorges
           ,
           he
           may
           Swim
           away
           in
           his
           own
           Flood
           .
           Clap
           but
           a
           good
           Sucker
           into
           his
           Belly
           ,
           and
           he
           makes
           an
           excellent
           Parish
           Pump
           :
           and
           if
           you
           add
           but
           a
           Pipe
           to
           his
           Muzle
           ,
           he
           may
           pass
           for
           a
           Water
           Engine
           ,
           and
           do
           good
           service
           in
           time
           of
           Fire
           ;
           you
           need
           not
           fear
           Drawing
           him
           dry
           ,
           so
           long
           as
           all
           the
           Ale-houses
           ,
           and
           Taverns
           in
           Town
           ,
           like
           little
           Rivulets
           ,
           supply
           the
           decrease
           ;
           He
           contains
           about
           as
           much
           as
           those
           in
           Churches
           ;
           but
           is
           so
           uncooth
           a
           Trough
           ,
           he
           's
           twice
           as
           hard
           to
           be
           Gauged
           :
           yet
           by
           frequent
           experience
           ,
           he
           can
           guess
           his
           Measure
           to
           a
           Pint
           ,
           specially
           if
           you
           except
           
           Leakage
           :
           His
           Veins
           are
           so
           thronged
           ,
           and
           his
           Blood
           so
           tainted
           with
           Scurvey
           ,
           Gout
           ,
           and
           Dropsie
           ,
           (
           and
           a
           smatch
           of
           the
           French-man
           to
           boot
           ,
           which
           he
           got
           when
           he
           was
           Drunk
           ,
           and
           does
           not
           know
           who
           to
           lay
           it
           too
           .
           )
           That
           he
           defies
           the
           intrusion
           of
           any
           other
           Distemper
           :
           wherefore
           he
           Stalks
           in
           as
           much
           State
           through
           a
           Pestilence
           ;
           as
           a
           well
           Arm'd
           Souldier
           through
           a
           shower
           of
           Bullets
           ,
           for
           his
           forementioned
           Diseases
           have
           taken
           such
           large
           Possession
           of
           his
           Body
           ,
           that
           there
           's
           no
           room
           left
           for
           Infection
           .
        
         
           He
           has
           drunk
           himself
           into
           a
           Jelly
           ,
           and
           is
           so
           moist
           ,
           that
           if
           you
           squeese
           him
           ,
           he
           drops
           like
           an
           Orange
           .
        
         
           His
           Body
           a
           perfect
           Still
           ,
           which
           he
           Fuells
           with
           Brandy
           ,
           instead
           of
           Char-coal
           ;
           being
           throughly
           heated
           ,
           you
           may
           discern
           the
           sweaty
           Distilation
           tricle
           from
           his
           face
           ,
           as
           from
           the
           Lid
           of
           a
           Limbick
           ,
           and
           if
           any
           chance
           to
           drop
           on
           his
           Nose
           ,
           you
           may
           hear
           it
           hiz
           as
           if
           it
           fell
           upon
           heated
           Bricks
           .
           In
           fine
           though
           he
           always
           lives
           Joakingly
           and
           Merry
           ,
           he
           hates
           nothing
           more
           then
           a
           dry
           Jest
           .
        
         
           Thus
           having
           acquainted
           you
           with
           his
           Constitution
           ,
           I
           shall
           only
           consider
           him
           in
           his
           Conversation
           ,
           and
           Friendship
           ,
           and
           so
           leave
           him
           to
           sleep
           out
           his
           nap
           .
        
         
           And
           first
           for
           his
           Conversation
           ,
           to
           take
           him
           in
           the
           Morning
           (
           for
           who
           can
           find
           him
           all
           the
           Day
           after
           )
           he
           prevents
           his
           Pray'rs
           with
           a
           Pipe
           of
           Tobacco
           ,
           and
           Smoaks
           at
           such
           a
           Rate
           as
           if
           he
           pr●fer'd
           Sacrifice
           to
           Devotion
           .
           A
           Tinder-box
           is
           as
           necessary
           to
           him
           ,
           as
           a
           green
           Bagg
           to
           an
           Atturney's
           Clark
           ,
           with
           which
           he
           seems
           as
           ravish'd
           as
           Alexander
           with
           the
           Odisses
           ,
           for
           he
           cannot
           sleep
           unless
           it
           lye
           under
           his
           Pillow
           .
           In
           that
           little
           night
           he
           makes
           ,
           he
           cannot
           so
           properly
           said
           to
           sleep
           ,
           as
           to
           chew
           the
           Cudd
           〈…〉
           
           often
           disturbs
           the
           repose
           of
           a
           Family
           ,
           with
           Muttering
           a
           Repetition
           of
           his
           Oaths
           ,
           and
           Healths
           when
           he
           awakes
           ,
           he
           stares
           about
           with
           such
           wild
           Curiosity
           ,
           as
           one
           would
           fancy
           Adam
           did
           immediately
           after
           his
           Creation
           ;
           for
           he
           generally
           makes
           himself
           so
           Drunk
           over
           Night
           ,
           drowning
           his
           past
           actions
           in
           Liquor
           and
           Oblivion
           ,
           that
           he
           scarcely
           knows
           the
           Morning
           from
           the
           Resurrection
           ,
           and
           is
           hardly
           perswaded
           that
           ever
           he
           lived
           before
           .
        
         
           But
           after
           he
           is
           convine'd
           of
           the
           affirmative
           spends
           about
           a
           quarter
           of
           an
           Hour
           in
           examining
           the
           Bed-posts
           and
           Windows
           ,
           before
           he
           discovers
           whether
           he
           be
           in
           his
           own
           Lodging
           :
           And
           afterward
           remains
           as
           doubtful
           how
           he
           got
           thither
           .
        
         
           Then
           Bed-staves
           ,
           and
           Slip-shoo's
           go
           to
           Wrack
           ,
           for
           clattering
           on
           the
           Bed-stead
           ,
           like
           Boys
           at
           the
           Bear-Garden
           ;
           he
           calls
           up
           the
           People
           as
           Country
           Wenches
           do
           Swine
           ,
           by
           knocking
           ;
           and
           after
           a
           Petition
           for
           a
           Cup
           of
           Settle-Brain
           ,
           begs
           them
           to
           resolve
           his
           Quaerie
           :
           Whereupon
           they
           tell
           him
           the
           truth
           ,
           which
           indeed
           is
           that
           either
           he
           came
           the
           old
           Porterly
           way
           ,
           Crutch'd
           with
           a
           brace
           of
           Watch-men
           ;
           or
           else
           the
           Modern
           and
           more
           Genteel
           way
           ,
           viz.
           On
           Pick-pack
           ,
           instead
           of
           a
           Sadan
           .
        
         
           Now
           although
           my
           
             Honest
             Drunken
             Curr
          
           be
           guilty
           of
           many
           Vices
           ,
           which
           like
           Younger
           Brothers
           hang
           on
           this
           great
           one
           which
           has
           got
           possession
           :
           Yet
           
             (
             Give
             the
             Devil
             his
             aue
             )
          
           I
           think
           the
           World
           has
           Sully'd
           his
           Reputation
           with
           divers
           Scandals
           of
           which
           he
           is
           no
           wise
           Guilty
           :
           Wherefore
           because
           I
           only
           intend
           his
           Convertion
           not
           his
           Consumption
           ;
           Like
           an
           honest
           Historian
           (
           since
           I
           Write
           his
           Life
           )
           I
           ought
           not
           to
           see
           him
           wrong'd
           ,
           but
           rather
           to
           rescue
           him
           from
           those
           C
           〈…〉
           on
           him
           〈…〉
        
         
         
           The
           first
           imputation
           therefore
           that
           they
           impose
           on
           him
           is
           that
           he
           is
           proud
           ,
           
             And
             why
             forsooth
          
           ?
           but
           because
           when
           he
           has
           a
           
             D
             〈…〉
             op
             in
             his
             Eye
             ,
          
           he
           brags
           and
           vapours
           as
           if
           he
           were
           a
           better
           man
           than
           his
           Neighbours
           .
           A
           stout
           reason
           indeed
           ?
           as
           if
           any
           man
           might
           not
           do
           as
           much
           that
           were
           either
           Light-headed
           ,
           or
           in
           a
           Fevour
           ;
           Nay
           ,
           a
           Passion
           alone
           makes
           the
           wisest
           of
           us
           Bethlehems
           .
           But
           let
           us
           do
           as
           we
           would
           be
           done
           by
           ,
           and
           take
           him
           when
           he
           is
           himself
           ,
           (
           that
           is
           in
           a
           Morning
           ,
           )
           and
           then
           I
           am
           sure
           he
           is
           as
           free
           from
           Pride
           ,
           as
           a
           Quaker
           from
           good
           Minners
           or
           Ribbons
           :
           For
           would
           Custome
           admit
           ,
           I
           am
           confident
           he
           would
           never
           go
           to
           the
           Ale-house
           Naked
           ,
           than
           undergo
           the
           hard
           Pennance
           of
           Sobriety
           the
           while
           he
           dresses
           himself
           .
        
         
           Secondly
           ,
           They
           call
           him
           an
           Idle
           fellow
           ;
           a
           good
           fellow
           all
           the
           World
           knows
           he
           is
           ,
           but
           as
           for
           Idleness
           ,
           let
           me
           dye
           if
           I
           know
           any
           one
           more
           free
           from
           it
           than
           he
           ;
           What
           would
           they
           know
           of
           him
           trow
           ?
           he
           rises
           early
           ,
           sits
           up
           late
           ;
           and
           I
           dare
           Swear
           he
           grudges
           himself
           his
           very
           Sleep
           ,
           because
           it
           keeps
           him
           from
           his
           Businesse
           :
           When
           he
           is
           at
           it
           ,
           no
           man
           more
           expeditious
           than
           he
           ,
           for
           as
           if
           his
           minutes
           ,
           like
           his
           Estate
           ,
           ran
           away
           too
           fast
           ,
           you
           shall
           frequently
           see
           him
           with
           an
           Ale-Glass
           in
           one
           hand
           ,
           and
           a
           Looking-Glass
           in
           the
           other
           ,
           which
           betokens
           both
           speed
           and
           frugality
           .
        
         
           The
           third
           and
           most
           fallacious
           Accusation
           is
           that
           they
           say
           ,
           
             He
             's
             Prodigal
             ,
             and
             Pisses
             his
             Estate
             against
             the
             Wall.
          
           But
           I
           am
           confident
           he
           enriches
           nor
           Perfumes
           the
           Walls
           no
           more
           than
           others
           ;
           onely
           this
           I
           know
           he
           does
           ,
           that
           whereas
           Usurers
           use
           to
           hide
           their
           Riches
           in
           Earth
           Pots
           ,
           he
           puts
           his
           Estate
           in
           a
           Pewter
           one
           (
           which
           one
           would
           think
           were
           the
           safer
           Cabinet
           )
           so
           that
           it
           is
           not
           the
           
             Honest
             Drunken
             Cur
          
           ,
           but
           the
           Impudent
           Rogues
           ,
           Drawers
           ,
           and
           Tapsters
           ,
           that
           imbezle
           and
           make
           it
           away
           .
        
         
         
           Much
           more
           might
           be
           said
           of
           him
           both
           in
           his
           Vindication
           ,
           and
           in
           Commendation
           also
           :
           For
           he
           is
           one
           of
           the
           quietest
           Subjects
           his
           Majesty
           has
           ,
           and
           most
           submissive
           to
           Monarchyal
           Government
           :
           He
           would
           not
           be
           without
           a
           King
           ,
           if
           it
           were
           for
           no
           other
           Reason
           than
           meerly
           Drinking
           his
           Health
           .
           He
           hates
           Coffee
           as
           Mahomatizm
           ,
           and
           thinks
           it
           a
           Lesser
           sin
           to
           go
           to
           Bed
           Drunk
           ,
           than
           to
           Drink
           it
           to
           make
           him
           Sober
           .
        
         
           He
           hates
           a
           Studious
           man
           as
           Caeser
           did
           a
           Lean
           one
           ,
           and
           for
           the
           same
           Reason
           ,
           for
           he
           is
           so
           confident
           he
           's
           hatching
           of
           Treason
           ,
           that
           he
           could
           find
           in
           his
           Heart
           to
           impeach
           him
           at
           adventure
           .
        
         
           As
           for
           his
           Friends
           he
           never
           troubles
           his
           Head
           to
           pick
           and
           cull
           them
           ,
           but
           takes
           them
           as
           superannuated
           Maids
           do
           Husbands
           ,
           or
           Fish-women
           do
           Mackerel
           ,
           as
           they
           come
           next
           to
           hand
           :
           For
           fixing
           himself
           in
           the
           next
           Ale-house
           or
           Tavern
           he
           comes
           at
           ;
           at
           first
           he
           sits
           as
           sullenly
           as
           a
           degraded
           Courtier
           ,
           or
           an
           Insurer
           upon
           Advice
           of
           a
           Loss
           ▪
           And
           no
           less
           than
           a
           Quart
           of
           Purle-Royal
           ,
           or
           Two
           
             Kicks
             in
             the
             Guts
          
           can
           remove
           his
           Morosity
           .
           After
           he
           has
           digested
           either
           of
           them
           ,
           perchance
           he
           'l
           vouchsafe
           to
           bless
           you
           with
           a
           Smile
           ,
           especially
           if
           you
           will
           purchase
           it
           at
           the
           expence
           of
           a
           Bawdy
           Song
           ;
           to
           which
           you
           shall
           see
           him
           turn
           head
           ,
           and
           listen
           as
           heedfully
           as
           a
           Lynnet
           to
           a
           Flaijolet
           ,
           but
           infinitely
           more
           easie
           to
           be
           Taught
           .
        
         
           When
           you
           have
           done
           ,
           t
           is
           twenty
           to
           one
           but
           he
           comes
           and
           hugs
           you
           ;
           swearing
           you
           are
           the
           most
           accomplisht
           Gentleman
           that
           ever
           he
           met
           in
           his
           Life
           ;
           and
           tho
           he
           never
           saw
           you
           before
           ,
           from
           that
           time
           you
           may
           date
           his
           Friendship
           :
           He
           makes
           Friends
           faster
           than
           Children
           do
           Babies
           ;
           and
           like
           them
           too
           ,
           he
           often
           forgets
           where
           he
           has
           left
           them
           .
        
         
         
           His
           Reason
           like
           a
           bad
           Shop-keeper
           is
           seldom
           at
           home
           ,
           or
           rather
           like
           a
           Country
           Gentleman
           ,
           has
           left
           the
           Manour
           of
           his
           own
           Body
           ;
           and
           is
           gone
           to
           dwell
           in
           strange
           Lodgings
           :
           So
           that
           't
           is
           no
           wonder
           ,
           he
           's
           Hobgoblin'd
           by
           his
           fiery
           Nose
           to
           any
           Debauchery
           ,
           or
           that
           Men
           call
           him
           Beast
           ;
           since
           by
           giving
           Rains
           to
           his
           I
           Sensuality
           ,
           he
           makes
           so
           perfect
           a
           Swine
           of
           himself
           ,
           that
           he
           Drinks
           till
           he
           can
           hardly
           Grunt
           .
           However
           ,
           since
           the
           Church
           allows
           him
           Christian
           Burial
           ,
           I
           'le
           Hopkins
           and
           Sternhold
           him
           with
        
      
       
         
           An
           Epitaph
           .
        
         
           Here
           Lyes
           Drunken
           Tom
           ,
        
         
           VVhom
           Heav'n
           in
           mercy
           save
           ,
        
         
           He
           stumbel'd
           o're
           his
           Death
           ,
        
         
           And
           reel'd
           into
           his
           Grave
           .
        
         
      
       
         FINIS
         .
      
    
     
  

