Impossibilities. Or, A matter of no thing, yet some thing youle finde I know in the reading, will pleasure your minde, then heare it I pray, and when you have done, you'le say that the thread is handsomely spunne. To the tune of, I sigh, I sob, &c. E. F. (Edward Ford), fl. 1630?-1660. 1635 Approx. 8 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-IV TIFF page image. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2009-10 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1). B00047 STC 11153 Interim Tract Supplement Guide C.20.f.7[164] 99893064 ocm99893064 183006 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. B00047) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 183006) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books; Tract supplement ; A5:1[88]) Impossibilities. Or, A matter of no thing, yet some thing youle finde I know in the reading, will pleasure your minde, then heare it I pray, and when you have done, you'le say that the thread is handsomely spunne. To the tune of, I sigh, I sob, &c. E. F. (Edward Ford), fl. 1630?-1660. 1 sheet ([1] p.) : ill. Printed for Edward Wright, dwelling at Christs-Church gate., London : [ca. 1635] Signed: E.F. [i.e. Edward Ford]. Verse: "Imprimis, when men doe beginne ..." Publication date suggested by STC. In two parts, separated for mounting; woodcuts at head of each part. Reproduction of original in the British Library. Created by converting TCP files to TEI P5 using tcp2tei.xsl, TEI @ Oxford. Re-processed by University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. 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Keying and markup guidelines are available at the Text Creation Partnership web site . eng Ballads, English -- 17th century. 2008-08 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2008-10 SPi Global Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2008-11 John Pas Sampled and proofread 2008-11 John Pas Text and markup reviewed and edited 2009-02 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion Impossibilities , OR , A matter of nothing , yet some thing you le finde I know in the reading , will pleasure your minde , Then heare it I pray , and when you have done , You 'le say that the thread is handsomely spunne . To the tune of , I sigh , I sob , &c. IMprimis , When men doe beginne , To follow vertue , leaue off sinne : When women thinke it no disdaine , To doe indéede the very same , Then you may say , and justly too , The old world now is turned a-new . When Newgate is a place for Nuns , And through Cheapside a riuer runs , When Charing-Crosse has such a face , To iustle Pauls out of her place : Then you may say ; and not till then , The world is full of honest men . When wood doth hew into the sea , And coaches doe the horses draw : When darknesse doth out-shine the light , And Snailes surpasse the arrowes flight : Then you may say , &c. When Lucipher an Angell turnes , And when in hell no fire burnes : When stars as thicke as haile doe fall , And new Bride well no hospitall : Then you may say , &c. When men are proned to such good will , That they to no one doe no ill : When ships doe saile on rocks of stone , And when the Whale has nere a bone : Then you may say , &c. When what is worst doth turne to best , When Crabs with Swallows build their nest : And when Musicians scornes to vse , Such crotchets as they should refuse , Then you may say , &c. When morning dew doth fall at night , And men lift crutches with a slight : When little children yet vnborne , Doe say that many weares the horne : Then you may say , and not till then , The world is full of honest men . When Westminster doth eastward stand , And touches neither sea nor land : And when therein you cannot see , A Lawyer that will take his fée , Then you may say , and justly too , The old world now is turned a-new . When Vsurers will gratis lend , And euery one their liues doe mend : When the Moore has washt him cleane , and Turnbull stréet has nere a queane : Then you may say , &c. When Hens tread Cocks , & Cocks tread Géese , And ganders kitten like cats and mise : When as the earth doth beare no Moles , And little Foxes haue no holes : Then you may say , ctc. When oyle and water doe agrée , And deadly foes attoned will bee : When Smithfield is a field of grasse , And when the Oxe doth ride the Asse . Then you may say , &c. When Sorcerers doe leaue their charme , When spiders doe the fly no harme : And when the Black-bird leaues to sing , And likewise Serpents for to sting : Then you may say , &c. The second part to the same tune . WWhen men their chiefest care doe make , To féed the poore for pitties sake : And when tradesmen doe apply , To doe as they would be done by : Then you may say , and not till then , The world is full of honest men . When Letchers they doe leaue their lust , And doe those things are good and iust : When Harlots doe Susanna's proue , And none but husbands dearely loue , Then you may say , &c. When the blasphemer leaues to sweare , And vnto goodnesse doth repaire : When old men doe incounter youth , And lyers speake the very truth , Then you may say , &c. When louers they doe constant proue , And neuer daine for to remoue : When little vailies top tall hills , And bad men leaue their wonted ills : Then may you say , &c. When rich men doe estéeme the poore , And feast 'em till they cry no more : And when the stréets you may passe frée , And yet not scarce a begger sée : Then you may say , &c. When seruants doe their Masters sway , And blinde men lead the ready way : When dumb men talke with eloquence , And lame men run with eminence : Then you may say , &c. When Gunpowder doth leaue his force , And euery Pharoah féeles remorse : And when no sessions néeds to be , Because all men loues honestie : Then you may say , &c. When all the prisons here about , Haue iustled all their prisoners out : Because indéede they haue no cause , To kéepe 'em in by common lawes : Then you may say , &c. When birds in waters déepe doe lie , And fishes in the aire doe flie : When water burnes and fire doth fréeze , And oysters grow as fruits on trees : Then you may say , and justly too , The old world now is turned a-new . When as the spruce and courtiour too , Shall bid to complements a dew : When little Bées shall castles beare , And flie so with 'em through the ayre : Then you may say , &c. When as Zacheus shall restore , His ill got goods vnto the poore : And when the Camell shall espy , A way to passe the nedles eye : Then you may say , &c. When snow falls blacke , and crowes be white , And all things that are wrong turne right : When silly lambs doe causes plead , And weare long gownes of melted lead : Then you may say , &c. When Turkes doe leaue their Mahomet , And all day long in churches set : When Pagans doe beléeue in God , And likewise feare his direfull rod : Then you may say , &c. When men with pearle do fatten hogs , And coward déere doe menace dogs : When men on sands their séeds doe sow , And peare trées they doe downward grow : Then you may say , &c. When Phoebus spreads his beames by night , And Cynthia doth by day giue light : When God in mercy is resolued , That this same world shall be dissolued : Then you may say , and justly too , The old world now is turned a-new . E. F. FINIS . London Printed for Edward Wright , dwelling at Christs-Church gate .