







 
   
     
       
         The world runnes on vvheeles: or oddes, betwixt carts and coaches
         Taylor, John, 1580-1653.
      
       
         
           1623
        
      
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         99837785
         99837785
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             The world runnes on vvheeles: or oddes, betwixt carts and coaches
             Taylor, John, 1580-1653.
          
           [18] leaves
           
             Printed by E. A[llde] for Henry Gosson,
             London :
             1623.
          
           
             By John Taylor.
             Printer's name from STC.
             With woodcut title vignette.
             Some print faded and show-through; pages marked, stained and torn; leaves tightly bound.
             Reproduction of original in the British Library.
          
        
      
    
     
       
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         eng
      
       
         
           Carriages and carts -- Early works to 1800.
        
      
    
     
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           The
           meaning
           of
           the
           Embleme
           .
        
         
           THe
           Deuill
           ,
           the
           Flesh
           ,
           the
           World
           doth
           Man
           oppos●
        
         
           And
           are
           his
           mighty
           and
           his
           mortall
           foes
           :
        
         
           The
           Deuill
           and
           the
           whorish
           Flesh
           drawes
           still
           ,
        
         
           The
           World
           on
           Wheeles
           runs
           after
           with
           good
           wille
        
         
           For
           that
           which
           wee
           the
           World
           may
           iustly
           call
        
         
           (
           I
           meane
           the
           lower
           Globe
           Terrestriall
           )
        
         
           Is
           (
           as
           the
           Deuill
           ,
           and
           a
           Whore
           doth
           please
           )
        
         
           Drawne
           here
           and
           there
           ,
           and
           euery
           where
           ,
           with
           ease
        
         
           Those
           that
           their
           Liues
           to
           vertue
           heere
           doe
           frame
           ,
        
         
           Are
           in
           the
           World
           ,
           but
           yet
           not
           of
           the
           same
           .
        
         
           Some
           such
           there
           are
           ,
           whom
           neither
           Flesh
           or
           Deuill
        
         
           Can
           wilfully
           drawe
           on
           to
           any
           euill
           :
        
         
           But
           for
           the
           World
           ,
           as
           't
           is
           the
           World
           ,
           you
           see
        
         
           It
           
             Runnes
             on
             Wheeles
          
           ,
           and
           who
           the
           Palfreys
           bee
           ▪
        
         
           Which
           Embleme
           ,
           to
           the
           Reader
           doth
           display
        
         
           The
           Deuill
           and
           th●
           Flesh
           runnes
           swift
           away
           .
        
         
           The
           Chayn'd
           ensnared
           World
           doth
           follow
           fast
           ▪
        
         
           Till
           All
           into
           Perditions
           pit
           be
           cast
           .
        
         
           The
           Picture
           topsie-turuie
           stands
           kew
           waw
           :
        
         
           The
           World
           turn'd
           vpside
           downe
           ,
           as
           all
           men
           kn●●
        
      
       
         
         
           The
           World
           runnes
           on
           VVheeles
           :
           Or
           Oddes
           ,
           betwixt
           Carts
           and
           Coaches
           .
        
         
         
           LONDON
           Printed
           by
           
             E.
             A.
          
           for
           
             Henry
             Gosson
          
           .
           1623.
           
        
      
       
         
         
         
           ¶
           To
           the
           noble
           Company
           of
           Cordwainers
           ,
           the
           worshipfull
           Company
           of
           Sadlers
           &
           Woodmongers
           ;
           To
           the
           worthy
           ,
           honest
           and
           lawdable
           Company
           of
           Water-men
           ,
           And
           to
           the
           Sacred
           Society
           of
           Hackney-men
           ,
           And
           finally
           ,
           to
           as
           many
           as
           are
           grieued
           ,
           and
           vniustly
           impouerished
           ,
           and
           molested
           ,
           with
           The
           Worlds
           Running
           on
           Wheeles
           .
        
         
           GEntlemen
           and
           Yeomen
           ,
           maruell
           not
           that
           I
           writ
           this
           Pamphlet
           in
           Prose
           now
           ,
           hauing
           before
           times
           set
           forth
           so
           many
           Bookes
           in
           verse
           ;
           The
           First
           Reason
           that
           mooued
           me
           to
           write
           thus
           ,
           was
           because
           I
           was
           Lame
           ,
           and
           durst
           not
           write
           Verses
           for
           feare
           they
           should
           be
           infected
           with
           my
           Griefe
           ,
           &
           be
           lame
           too
           .
           The
           Second
           Reason
           is
           ,
           because
           that
           I
           finde
           no
           good
           rime
           for
           a
           Coach
           but
           
             Broach
             ,
             Roach
             Encroach
          
           ,
           or
           such
           like
           :
           And
           you
           knowe
           that
           the
           Coach
           hath
           ouer-throwne
           the
           good
           
           vse
           of
           the
           Broach
           &
           Broch-turner
           ,
           turning
           the
           one
           to
           Rackes
           and
           the
           other
           to
           Iackes
           ,
           quite
           through
           the
           Kingdome
           :
           The
           Roach
           is
           a
           drie
           Fish
           ,
           much
           like
           the
           vnprofitable
           profit
           of
           a
           Coach
           :
           It
           will
           cost
           more
           the
           dressing
           and
           Appurtnances
           then
           't
           is
           worth
           :
           For
           the
           word
           Encroach
           I
           thinke
           that
           best
           befits
           it
           ,
           for
           I
           think
           neuer
           such
           an
           impudent
           ,
           prowd
           sawcie
           Intruder
           or
           Encroacher
           came
           into
           the
           world
           as
           a
           Coach
           is
           :
           for
           it
           hath
           driuen
           many
           honest
           Families
           out
           of
           their
           Houses
           ,
           many
           Knights
           to
           Beggers
           ,
           Corporations
           to
           pouerty
           ,
           Almes
           deedes
           to
           all
           misdeedes
           ,
           Hospitality
           to
           extortion
           ,
           Plenty
           to
           famine
           ,
           Humility
           to
           pride
           ,
           Compassion
           to
           oppression
           ,
           and
           all
           Earthly
           goodnes
           almost
           to
           an
           vtter
           confusion
           .
        
         
           These
           haue
           beene
           the
           causes
           why
           I
           writ
           this
           Booke
           in
           Prose
           ,
           and
           Dedicated
           it
           to
           all
           your
           good
           Companies
           ,
           knowing
           that
           you
           haue
           borne
           a
           heauy
           share
           in
           the
           Calamitie
           which
           these
           hyred
           Hackney
           hell-Carts
           haue
           
           put
           this
           Common-wealth
           vnto
           :
           For
           in
           all
           my
           whole
           Discourse
           ,
           I
           doe
           not
           enueigh
           against
           any
           Coaches
           that
           belong
           to
           Persons
           of
           worth
           or
           qualitie
           ,
           but
           onely
           against
           the
           Catterpiller
           swarme
           of
           hyrelings
           ;
           they
           haue
           vndone
           my
           poore
           Trade
           ,
           whereof
           I
           am
           a
           Member
           ,
           and
           though
           I
           looke
           for
           no
           reformation
           ,
           yet
           I
           expect
           the
           benefit
           of
           an
           old
           Prouerbe
           (
           
             Giue
             the
             loosers
             leaue
             to
             speake
             :
          
           )
           I
           haue
           Imbroadered
           it
           with
           mirth
           ,
           Quilted
           it
           with
           materiall
           stuffe
           ,
           Lac'd
           it
           with
           similitudes
           ;
           Sowed
           it
           with
           comparisons
           ,
           and
           in
           a
           word
           ,
           so
           playd
           the
           Taylor
           with
           it
           ,
           that
           I
           thinke
           it
           will
           fitte
           the
           wearing
           of
           any
           honest
           mans
           Reading
           ,
           Attention
           ,
           and
           Liking
           :
           But
           howsoeuer
           ,
           I
           leaue
           both
           it
           and
           my selfe
           to
           remayne
        
         
           
             Yours
             as
             you
             are
             mine
             :
             
               Iohn
               Taylor
            
             .
          
        
      
    
     
       
         
         
         
           ¶
           The
           VVorld
           runnes
           on
           Wheeles
           .
        
         
           WHat
           a
           Murraine
           ,
           what
           piece
           of
           work
           haue
           we
           here
           ?
           
             The
             WORLD
             runs
             a
             Wheeles
          
           ?
           On
           my
           Conscience
           my
           Dung-cart
           will
           be
           most
           vnsauourly
           offended
           with
           it
           :
           Ihaue
           heard
           the
           wordes
           often
           ▪
           
             The
             World
             runs
             on
             Wheeles
          
           ;
           what
           ,
           like
           Pompeies
           Bridge
           at
           Ostend
           ?
           The
           great
           Gridyron
           in
           Christ-church
           ,
           The
           Landskips
           of
           China
           ,
           or
           the
           new
           found
           Instrument
           that
           goes
           by
           winding
           vp
           like
           a
           Iacke
           ,
           that
           a
           Gentleman
           entreated
           a
           Musitian
           to
           Rost
           him
           Sele●●ers
           Round
           vpon
           it
           ?
           Ha!
           how
           can
           you
           make
           this
           good
           Master
           Poet
           ?
           I
           haue
           heard
           that
           the
           World
           stands
           stock
           still
           ,
           &
           neuer
           stirres
           ,
           but
           at
           an
           Earth-quake
           ;
           and
           then
           it
           trembles
           at
           the
           wickednes
           of
           the
           Inhabitants
           ,
           and
           like
           an
           olde
           Mother
           ,
           groanes
           vnder
           the
           misery
           of
           her
           vngracious
           Children
           :
           well
           ,
           I
           will
           buy
           this
           volume
           of
           nuention
           for
           my
           Boyes
           to
           read
           at
           home
           in
           an
           Euening
           when
           they
           come
           from
           Schoole
           ,
           there
           may
           be
           some
           goodnes
           in
           it
           ;
           I
           promise
           you
           truely
           I
           haue
           found
           in
           some
           of
           these
           Bookes
           very
           shrewd
           Items
           ;
           yea
           ,
           and
           
           by
           your
           leaue
           ,
           somewhat
           is
           found
           in
           them
           now
           and
           then
           ,
           which
           the
           wisest
           of
           vs
           all
           may
           be
           the
           better
           for
           :
           though
           you
           call
           them
           Pamphlets
           ,
           to
           tell
           you
           true
           ,
           I
           like
           em
           better
           that
           are
           plaine
           and
           merrily
           written
           to
           a
           good
           intent
           ,
           then
           those
           who
           are
           purposely
           stuffed
           and
           studyed
           ,
           to
           deceiue
           the
           world
           ,
           &
           vndo
           a
           Country
           ,
           That
           tells
           vs
           of
           Proiects
           beyond
           the
           Moone
           ,
           of
           Golden
           Mines
           ,
           of
           Deuices
           to
           make
           the
           Thames
           run
           on
           the
           North
           side
           of
           London
           (
           which
           may
           very
           easily
           be
           done
           ,
           by
           remouing
           London
           to
           the
           Banke-side
           )
           of
           planting
           the
           I
           le
           of
           Dogs
           with
           
             Whiblins
             ,
             Corwhichets
             ,
             Mushromes
          
           &
           Tobacco
           .
           Tut
           I
           like
           none
           of
           these
           ,
           Let
           me
           see
           ,
           as
           I
           take
           it
           ,
           it
           is
           an
           inuectiue
           against
           Coaches
           ,
           or
           a
           proofe
           or
           tryall
           of
           the
           Antiquitie
           of
           Carts
           and
           Coaches
           ,
           T
           is
           so
           ,
           and
           Gods
           blessing
           light
           on
           his
           heart
           that
           wrote
           it
           ,
           for
           I
           thinke
           neuer
           since
           Phaeton
           brake
           his
           necke
           ,
           neuer
           Land
           hath
           endured
           more
           trouble
           &
           molestation
           then
           this
           hath
           ,
           by
           the
           cōtinual
           rumbling
           of
           these
           vpstart
           4.
           wheel'd
           Tortoyses
           ,
           as
           you
           may
           perhaps
           find
           anone
           :
           For
           as
           concerning
           the
           Antiquity
           of
           the
           Cart
           ,
           I
           think
           it
           beyond
           the
           limmits
           of
           Record
           or
           writing
           ,
           Besides
           ,
           it
           hath
           a
           Reference
           or
           allusion
           to
           the
           Motion
           of
           the
           Heauens
           ,
           which
           turnes
           vpon
           the
           Equinoctiall
           Axeltree
           ,
           the
           two
           wheeles
           being
           the
           Articke
           and
           Antarticke
           Poles
           .
           Moreouer
           ,
           though
           it
           be
           Poetically
           feygned
           ,
           that
           the
           Sunne
           (
           whom
           I
           could
           haue
           called
           
             Phoebus
             ,
             Tytan
             ,
             Apollo
             ,
             Soll
             ,
          
           or
           Hiperion
           )
           is
           drawne
           by
           his
           foure
           hot
           and
           headstrong
           Horses
           (
           whose
           names
           as
           I
           take
           it
           are
           )
           
             Aeolus
             ,
             Aethon
             ,
             Phlegon
          
           ,
           and
           Pyrois
           ,
           Yet
           doe
           I
           not
           finde
           that
           Triumphant
           ,
           Refulgent
           extinguisher
           of
           darknes
           is
           Coach'd
           ,
           
           but
           that
           he
           is
           continually
           Carted
           through
           the
           twelue
           signes
           of
           the
           Zodiaque
           .
        
         
           And
           if
           Copernicus
           his
           opinion
           were
           to
           be
           allowed
           ,
           that
           the
           Firmament
           with
           the
           Orbs
           and
           Planets
           did
           stand
           vnmoueable
           ,
           and
           that
           onely
           the
           Terrestriall
           Globe
           turnes
           round
           daily
           according
           to
           the
           motion
           of
           Time
           ,
           yet
           could
           the
           World
           haue
           no
           resemblance
           of
           a
           foure-wheel'd
           Coach
           ;
           but
           in
           all
           reason
           it
           must
           whirle
           round
           vpon
           but
           One
           Axeltree
           ,
           like
           a
           two
           wheeld
           Cart.
           
        
         
           Nor
           can
           the
           searching
           eye
           ,
           or
           most
           admirable
           Art
           of
           Astronomie
           ,
           euer
           yet
           finde
           ,
           that
           a
           Coach
           could
           attaine
           to
           that
           high
           exaltation
           of
           honour
           ,
           as
           to
           be
           placed
           in
           the
           Firmament
           :
           It
           is
           apparently
           seene
           ,
           that
           Charles
           his
           Cart
           (
           which
           we
           by
           custome
           call
           Charles
           his
           Waine
           )
           is
           most
           gloriously
           stellifide
           ,
           where
           in
           the
           large
           Circumserence
           of
           Heauen
           ,
           it
           is
           a
           most
           vsefull
           &
           beneficiall
           Sea-marke
           (
           and
           somtimes
           a
           Land-marke
           too
           )
           guiding
           and
           directing
           in
           the
           right
           way
           ,
           such
           as
           trauaile
           on
           Neptunes
           waylesse
           Bosome
           ,
           and
           many
           which
           are
           often
           benighted
           in
           wilde
           and
           desert
           passages
           ,
           as
           my selfe
           can
           witnesse
           vpon
           Newmarket
           heath
           ,
           where
           if
           that
           good
           Waine
           had
           not
           Carted
           me
           to
           my
           Lodging
           ,
           I
           &
           my
           Horse
           might
           haue
           wandred
           I
           know
           not
           whither
           .
        
         
           Moreouer
           ,
           as
           Man
           is
           the
           most
           noblest
           of
           all
           Creatures
           ,
           and
           all
           foure-footed
           Beasts
           are
           ordayned
           for
           his
           vse
           and
           seruice
           ;
           so
           a
           Cart
           is
           the
           Embleme
           of
           a
           Man
           ,
           and
           a
           Coach
           is
           the
           Figure
           of
           a
           Beast
           ;
           For
           as
           Man
           hath
           two
           legges
           ,
           a
           Cart
           hath
           two
           wheeles
           :
           The
           Coach
           being
           (
           in
           the
           like
           sense
           )
           the
           true
           resemblance
           
           of
           a
           Beast
           ,
           by
           which
           is
           Parabollically
           demonstrated
           vnto
           vs
           ,
           that
           as
           much
           as
           Men
           are
           superior
           to
           Beasts
           ,
           so
           much
           are
           honest
           and
           needfull
           Carts
           more
           nobly
           to
           be
           regarded
           and
           esteemed
           ,
           aboue
           needlesse
           ,
           vpstart
           ,
           fantasticall
           ,
           and
           Time-troubling
           Coaches
           .
        
         
           And
           as
           necessities
           and
           things
           whose
           commodious
           vses
           cannot
           be
           wanted
           ,
           are
           to
           be
           respected
           before
           Toyes
           and
           trifles
           (
           whose
           beginning
           is
           Folly
           ,
           continuance
           Pride
           ,
           and
           whose
           end
           is
           Ruine
           )
           I
           say
           as
           necessity
           is
           to
           be
           preferred
           before
           superfluity
           ,
           so
           is
           the
           Cart
           before
           the
           
             Coach
             ▪
          
           For
           Stones
           ,
           Timber
           ,
           Corne
           ,
           Wine
           ,
           Beere
           ,
           or
           any
           thing
           that
           wants
           life
           ,
           there
           is
           a
           necessity
           they
           should
           be
           caried
           ,
           because
           they
           are
           dead
           things
           and
           cannot
           goe
           on
           foot
           ,
           which
           necessity
           the
           honest
           Cart
           doth
           supply
           :
           But
           the
           Coach
           like
           a
           superfluous
           Bable
           ,
           or
           an
           vncharitable
           Mizer
           ,
           doth
           sildome
           or
           neuer
           cary
           or
           help
           any
           dead
           or
           helplesse
           thing
           ;
           but
           on
           the
           contrary
           it
           helps
           those
           that
           can
           help
           themselues
           (
           like
           Scoggin
           when
           he
           greazd
           the
           fat
           Sow
           on
           the
           Butt-end
           )
           and
           carries
           men
           and
           women
           ,
           who
           are
           able
           to
           goe
           or
           run
           ;
           Ergo
           the
           Cart
           is
           necessary
           ,
           and
           the
           Coach
           superfluous
           .
        
         
           Besides
           ,
           I
           am
           verily
           perswaded
           ,
           that
           the
           proudest
           Coxcombe
           that
           euer
           was
           iolted
           in
           a
           Coach
           ,
           will
           not
           be
           so
           impudent
           but
           will
           confesse
           that
           humility
           is
           to
           be
           preferred
           before
           pride
           ;
           which
           being
           granted
           ,
           note
           the
           affability
           and
           lowlines
           of
           the
           Cart
           ,
           and
           the
           pride
           and
           insoleney
           of
           the
           Coach
           ,
           For
           the
           Carman
           humbly
           paces
           it
           on
           foot
           ,
           as
           his
           Beast
           doth
           ,
           whilst
           the
           Coachmā
           is
           mounted
           (
           his
           fellow-horses
           &
           himself
           being
           all
           in
           a
           
             liuery
          
           )
           with
           as
           many
           varieties
           of
           Laces
           ,
           facings
           ,
           
           Cloath
           and
           Colours
           as
           are
           in
           the
           Rainebowe
           ,
           like
           a
           Motion
           or
           Pageant
           rides
           in
           state
           ,
           &
           loades
           the
           poore
           Beast
           ,
           which
           the
           Carman
           doth
           not
           ;
           and
           if
           the
           Carmens
           horse
           be
           melancholly
           or
           dull
           with
           hard
           and
           heauy
           labour
           ,
           then
           will
           he
           like
           a
           kinde
           Piper
           whistle
           him
           a
           fit
           of
           mirth
           ,
           to
           any
           tune
           from
           aboue
           Eela
           to
           belowe
           Gammoth
           ,
           of
           which
           generosity
           and
           courtesie
           your
           Coachman
           is
           altogether
           ignorant
           ,
           for
           he
           neuer
           whistles
           ,
           but
           all
           his
           musicke
           is
           to
           rap
           out
           an
           oath
           ,
           or
           blurt
           out
           a
           curse
           against
           his
           Teame
           .
        
         
           The
           word
           Carmen
           (
           as
           I
           finde
           it
           in
           the
           Dictionarie
           )
           doth
           signifie
           a
           Verse
           ,
           or
           a
           Song
           ,
           and
           betwixt
           Carmen
           and
           Carmen
           ,
           there
           is
           some
           good
           correspondencie
           ,
           for
           Versing
           ,
           Singing
           ,
           and
           Whistling
           ,
           are
           all
           three
           Musicall
           ,
           besides
           the
           Carthorse
           is
           a
           more
           learned
           beast
           then
           the
           Coachhorse
           ,
           for
           scarce
           any
           Coach-horse
           in
           the
           world
           doth
           know
           any
           letter
           in
           the
           Book
           ,
           when
           as
           euery
           Carthorse
           doth
           know
           the
           letter
           G.
           very
           vnderstandingly
           .
        
         
           If
           Adultery
           or
           Fornication
           bee
           committed
           in
           a
           Coach
           ,
           it
           may
           be
           grauely
           and
           discreetely
           punished
           in
           a
           Cart
           ,
           for
           as
           by
           this
           meanes
           the
           Coach
           may
           be
           a
           running
           Bawdy-house
           of
           abhomination
           ,
           so
           the
           Cart
           may
           ,
           (
           and
           often
           is
           )
           the
           sober
           ,
           modest
           ,
           and
           ciuill
           pac'd
           Instrument
           of
           Reformation
           :
           so
           as
           the
           Coach
           may
           be
           vices
           infection
           ,
           the
           Cart
           often
           is
           vices
           correction
           .
        
         
           It
           was
           a
           time
           of
           famous
           memorable
           misery
           ,
           when
           the
           Danes
           had
           tyrannicall
           insulting
           domination
           in
           this
           lard
           :
           for
           the
           flauery
           of
           the
           English
           was
           so
           insupportable
           ,
           that
           he
           must
           Plowe
           ,
           Sowe
           ,
           Reape
           ,
           Thrash
           
           Winnow
           ,
           Grinde
           ,
           Sift
           ,
           Leauen
           ,
           Knead
           ,
           and
           Bake
           ,
           and
           the
           domineering
           Dane
           would
           doe
           nothing
           but
           sleepe
           ,
           play
           ,
           and
           eate
           the
           fruit
           of
           the
           English
           mans
           labour
           ;
           which
           well
           may
           be
           alluded
           to
           the
           carefull
           
             Cart
             ▪
          
           for
           let
           it
           plough
           ,
           carrie
           &
           recarrie
           ,
           early
           or
           late
           ,
           all
           times
           &
           weathers
           ,
           yet
           the
           hungry
           Coach
           gnawes
           him
           to
           the
           very
           bones
           :
           Oh
           beware
           of
           a
           Coach
           as
           you
           would
           doe
           of
           a
           Tyger
           ,
           a
           Woolfe
           ,
           or
           a
           Leuiathan
           ,
           I
           'le
           assure
           you
           it
           eates
           more
           (
           though
           it
           drinkes
           lesse
           )
           then
           the
           Coachman
           and
           his
           whole
           Teeme
           ,
           it
           hath
           a
           mouth
           gaping
           on
           each
           side
           like
           a
           monster
           ,
           with
           which
           they
           haue
           swallowed
           all
           the
           good
           housekeeping
           in
           England
           :
           It
           lately
           (
           like
           a
           most
           insatiable
           deuouring
           beast
           )
           did
           eate
           vp
           a
           Knight
           ,
           a
           neighbour
           of
           mine
           ,
           in
           the
           County
           of
           N.
           a
           Wood
           of
           aboue
           400.
           
           Akers
           ,
           as
           if
           it
           had
           beene
           but
           a
           bunch
           of
           Radish
           :
           of
           another
           ,
           it
           deuoured
           a
           whole
           Castle
           ,
           as
           it
           had
           beene
           a
           Marchpane
           ;
           scarcely
           allowing
           the
           Knight
           and
           his
           Lady
           halfe
           a
           colde
           shoulder
           of
           Mutton
           to
           their
           suppers
           on
           a
           Thursday
           night
           ;
           out
           of
           which
           reuersion
           the
           Coachman
           and
           the
           Footeman
           could
           picke
           but
           hungry
           Vailes
           :
           in
           another
           place
           (
           passing
           through
           a
           Parke
           )
           it
           could
           not
           be
           content
           to
           eate
           vp
           all
           the
           Deere
           ,
           and
           other
           grazing
           Cattell
           ,
           but
           it
           bit
           vp
           all
           the
           Oakes
           that
           stoode
           bareheaded
           ,
           there
           to
           doe
           homage
           to
           their
           Lord
           and
           Maister
           euer
           since
           the
           conquest
           ,
           crushing
           their
           olde
           sides
           as
           easily
           as
           one
           of
           our
           fine
           Dames
           (
           with
           a
           poysoned
           breath
           )
           will
           snap
           a
           Cinamon
           stick
           ;
           or
           with
           as
           much
           facility
           as
           a
           Bawde
           will
           eate
           a
           Pippin
           Tart
           ,
           or
           swallow
           a
           stewed
           Pruine
           .
        
         
           For
           (
           what
           call
           you
           the
           Towne
           )
           where
           the
           great
           
           Oysters
           come
           from
           ?
           there
           it
           hath
           eaten
           vp
           a
           Church
           ,
           Chauncell
           ,
           Steeple
           ,
           Bells
           and
           all
           ,
           and
           it
           threatens
           a
           great
           Common
           that
           lyes
           neere
           ,
           which
           in
           
             diebus
             illis
          
           hath
           relieued
           thousands
           of
           poore
           people
           ;
           nay
           ,
           so
           hungry
           it
           is
           ,
           that
           it
           will
           scarcely
           endure
           ,
           in
           a
           Gentlemans
           house
           ,
           a
           poore
           neighbours
           childe
           so
           much
           as
           to
           turne
           a
           Spit
           ;
           nor
           a
           Yeomans
           sonne
           to
           enter
           the
           house
           ,
           though
           but
           in
           good
           will
           to
           the
           Chamber-maide
           ,
           who
           anciently
           from
           16.
           to
           36.
           was
           wont
           to
           haue
           his
           breeding
           either
           in
           the
           Buttry
           ,
           Celler
           ,
           Stable
           ,
           or
           Larder
           ,
           and
           to
           bid
           good
           man
           Hobs
           ,
           good-wife
           Grub
           ,
           or
           the
           youth
           of
           the
           parish
           welcome
           at
           a
           Christmasse
           time
           ;
           but
           those
           dayes
           are
           gone
           ,
           and
           their
           fellowes
           are
           neuer
           like
           to
           be
           seene
           about
           any
           of
           our
           top-gallant-houses
           .
           There
           was
           a
           Knight
           (
           an
           acquaintance
           of
           mine
           (
           whose
           whole
           meanes
           in
           the
           world
           was
           but
           threescore
           pounds
           a
           yeare
           ,
           and
           aboue
           20.
           of
           the
           same
           went
           for
           his
           Wiues
           Coach-hire
           ;
           now
           (
           perhaps
           )
           you
           shall
           haue
           an
           Irish
           Footman
           with
           a
           Iacket
           cudgell'd
           downe
           the
           shoulders
           and
           skirts
           ,
           with
           yellow
           or
           Orenge
           tawny
           Lace
           ,
           may
           trot
           from
           London
           3.
           or
           4.
           score
           miles
           to
           one
           of
           those
           decayed
           Mansions
           ,
           when
           the
           simpring
           scornfull
           Pusse
           ,
           the
           supposed
           Mistresse
           of
           the
           house
           (
           with
           a
           mischiefe
           )
           who
           is
           (
           indeed
           )
           a
           kinde
           of
           creature
           retired
           for
           a
           while
           into
           the
           Countrey
           to
           escape
           the
           whip
           in
           the
           Citie
           )
           she
           demaunds
           out
           of
           the
           window
           scarce
           ready
           ,
           and
           dressing
           her selfe
           in
           a
           glasse
           at
           noone
           :
           Fellow
           what
           is
           thine
           Errand
           ,
           hast
           thou
           letters
           to
           me
           ?
           and
           if
           it
           be
           about
           di●ner
           ,
           a
           man
           may
           sooner
           blow
           vp
           the
           Gates
           of
           
             Bergen
             ap
             Zome
          
           ,
           with
           a
           Charme
           then
           get
           entrance
           ,
           
           within
           the
           bounds
           of
           their
           Barr'd
           ,
           Bolted
           ,
           and
           Barracadoed
           Wicket
           :
           About
           2.
           a
           Clocke
           ,
           it
           may
           be
           after
           walking
           an
           houre
           or
           twaine
           ,
           Sir
           Sellall
           comes
           downe
           ,
           vntrust
           with
           a
           Pipe
           of
           Tobacco
           in
           his
           fist
           to
           know
           your
           businesse
           ,
           hauing
           first
           peeped
           through
           a
           broken
           pane
           of
           Glasse
           ,
           to
           see
           whether
           you
           come
           to
           demaund
           any
           money
           ,
           or
           olde
           debt
           ,
           or
           not
           ,
           when
           after
           a
           few
           hollow
           dry
           complements
           (
           without
           drinke
           )
           he
           turnes
           you
           out
           at
           the
           gate
           ,
           his
           worship
           returning
           to
           his
           Stove
           :
           What
           Townes
           are
           layde
           waste
           ?
           what
           fields
           lye
           vntilled
           ?
           what
           goodly
           houses
           are
           turn'd
           to
           the
           habitations
           of
           
             Howlets
             ,
             Dawes
          
           ,
           and
           Hobgoblins
           ?
           what
           numbers
           of
           poore
           are
           encreased
           ?
           yea
           examine
           this
           last
           yeare
           but
           the
           Register
           bookes
           of
           burials
           ,
           of
           our
           greatest
           Townes
           and
           Parishes
           of
           the
           land
           ,
           as
           Winondham
           in
           
             Norfolke
             ,
             White
             Chappell
          
           neere
           London
           ,
           and
           many
           other
           ,
           and
           see
           how
           many
           haue
           beene
           buried
           weekely
           ,
           that
           haue
           meerely
           perished
           for
           want
           of
           bread
           ;
           whilst
           Pride
           and
           Luxurie
           dam
           vp
           our
           streetes
           ,
           Barracado
           our
           high
           wayes
           ,
           and
           are
           ready
           euen
           to
           driue
           ouer
           their
           Graues
           ,
           whom
           their
           vnmercifull
           Pride
           hath
           farnished
           .
        
         
           Whence
           comes
           Leather
           to
           be
           so
           deare
           ,
           but
           by
           reason
           (
           or
           as
           I
           should
           say
           against
           reason
           )
           of
           the
           multitude
           of
           Coaches
           ,
           and
           Carroaches
           ,
           who
           consume
           and
           take
           vp
           the
           best
           Hides
           that
           can
           be
           gotten
           in
           our
           Kingdome
           ,
           insomuch
           that
           I
           cannot
           buy
           a
           payre
           of
           Boores
           for
           my selfe
           vnder
           an
           Angell
           ,
           nor
           my
           Wife
           a
           payre
           of
           Shooes
           (
           though
           her
           foote
           be
           vnder
           the
           seauenteenes
           )
           vnder
           eight
           groates
           or
           three
           shillings
           ;
           by
           which
           meanes
           many
           honest
           Shoomakers
           are
           either
           
           vndone
           or
           vndoing
           ,
           and
           infinite
           numbers
           of
           poore
           Christians
           ,
           are
           enforced
           to
           goe
           barefooted
           in
           the
           colde
           Winters
           ,
           till
           with
           very
           benummednesse
           ,
           some
           their
           toes
           ,
           and
           some
           their
           feete
           are
           rotted
           off
           ,
           to
           the
           numberlesse
           encrease
           of
           crooched
           Cripples
           ,
           and
           wooden
           legg'd
           beggers
           ,
           of
           which
           sort
           of
           miserable
           dismembred
           wretches
           ,
           euery
           streete
           is
           plentifully
           stored
           with
           ,
           to
           the
           scorne
           of
           other
           Nations
           ,
           and
           the
           shame
           and
           obloquy
           of
           our
           owne
           .
        
         
           The
           Saddlers
           (
           being
           an
           ancient
           ,
           a
           worthy
           and
           a
           vsefull
           Company
           )
           they
           haue
           almost
           ouerthrowne
           the
           whole
           trade
           ,
           to
           the
           vndoing
           of
           many
           honest
           Families
           ;
           For
           whereas
           within
           our
           memories
           ,
           our
           Nobility
           and
           Gentry
           would
           tide
           well
           mounted
           (
           and
           sometimes
           walke
           on
           foot
           )
           gallantly
           attended
           with
           three
           or
           foure
           score
           braue
           fellowes
           in
           blew
           coates
           ,
           which
           was
           a
           glory
           to
           our
           Nation
           ;
           and
           gaue
           more
           content
           to
           the
           beholders
           ,
           then
           forty
           of
           your
           Leather
           Tumbrels
           :
           Then
           men
           preseru'd
           their
           bodies
           strong
           and
           able
           by
           walking
           ,
           riding
           ,
           and
           other
           manly
           exercises
           :
           then
           Sadlers
           were
           a
           good
           Trade
           ,
           and
           the
           name
           of
           a
           Coach
           was
           Heathen-Greeke
           .
           Who
           euer
           saw
           (
           but
           vpon
           extraordinary
           occasions
           )
           Sir
           
             Philip
             Sidney
          
           ,
           Sir
           
             Francis
             Drake
          
           ,
           Sir
           
             Iohn
             Norris
          
           ,
           Sir
           
             William
             Winter
          
           ,
           Sir
           
             Roger
             Williams
          
           ,
           or
           (
           whom
           I
           should
           haue
           nam'd
           first
           )
           the
           famous
           Lord
           Gray
           ,
           and
           Willoughby
           ,
           with
           the
           renowned
           George
           Earle
           of
           Cumberland
           ,
           or
           Robert
           Eatle
           of
           Essex
           :
           These
           sonnes
           of
           Mars
           ,
           who
           in
           their
           times
           were
           the
           glorious
           Brooches
           of
           our
           Nation
           ,
           and
           an
           admirable
           terrour
           to
           our
           Enemies
           :
           these
           I
           say
           did
           make
           small
           vse
           of
           Coaches
           ,
           and
           there
           
           were
           two
           maine
           reasons
           for
           it
           ,
           the
           one
           was
           that
           there
           were
           but
           few
           Coaches
           in
           most
           of
           their
           times
           :
           and
           the
           second
           reason
           is
           ,
           they
           were
           deadly
           foes
           to
           all
           sloath
           and
           effeminacie
           :
           The
           like
           was
           Sir
           
             Francis
             Vere
          
           ,
           with
           thousands
           others
           :
           but
           what
           should
           I
           talke
           further
           ?
           this
           is
           the
           ratling
           ,
           rowling
           ,
           rumbling
           age
           ,
           and
           
             The
             World
             runnes
             on
             Wheeles
          
           .
           The
           Hackney-men
           who
           were
           wont
           to
           haue
           furnished
           Trauellers
           in
           all
           places
           ,
           with
           fitting
           and
           seruiceable
           Horses
           for
           any
           iourney
           ,
           (
           by
           the
           multitude
           of
           Coaches
           )
           are
           vndone
           by
           the
           dozens
           ,
           and
           the
           whole
           Common-wealth
           most
           abhominably
           Iaded
           ,
           that
           in
           many
           places
           a
           man
           had
           as
           good
           to
           ride
           vpon
           a
           wodden
           Post
           ,
           as
           to
           Post
           it
           vpon
           one
           of
           those
           poore
           hunger-staru'd
           hirelings
           :
           which
           enormity
           can
           be
           imputed
           to
           nothing
           ,
           but
           the
           Coaches
           intrusion
           ,
           is
           the
           Hackney-mans
           confusion
           .
        
         
           Nor
           haue
           we
           poore
           Watermen
           the
           least
           cause
           to
           complaine
           against
           this
           infernall
           swarme
           of
           Trade-spillers
           ,
           who
           like
           the
           Grashoppers
           or
           Caterpillers
           of
           Egipt
           haue
           so
           ouer-runne
           the
           land
           ,
           that
           we
           can
           get
           no
           liuing
           vpon
           the
           water
           ;
           for
           I
           dare
           truly
           affirme
           that
           euery
           day
           in
           any
           Tearme
           (
           especially
           if
           the
           Court
           be
           at
           Whitehall
           )
           they
           do
           rob
           vs
           of
           our
           liuings
           ,
           and
           carry
           560.
           fares
           daily
           from
           vs
           ,
           which
           numbers
           of
           passengers
           were
           wont
           to
           supply
           our
           necessities
           ,
           and
           enable
           vs
           sufficiently
           with
           meanes
           to
           doe
           our
           Prince
           and
           Countrey
           seruice
           :
           and
           all
           the
           whole
           fry
           of
           our
           famous
           Whores
           ,
           whose
           ancient
           Lodgings
           were
           neere
           S.
           Katherines
           ,
           the
           Bankside
           ,
           
             Lambeth-Marsh
             ,
             Westminster
             ,
             White
             Friers
             ,
             Coleharbar
             ,
          
           or
           
           any
           other
           place
           neere
           the
           Thames
           ,
           who
           were
           wont
           after
           they
           had
           any
           good
           Trading
           ,
           or
           reasonable
           commings
           in
           ,
           to
           take
           a
           Boate
           and
           ayre
           themselues
           vpon
           the
           water
           ,
           yea
           (
           and
           by
           your
           leaue
           )
           be
           very
           liberall
           to
           ,
           and
           I
           say
           as
           a
           Mercer
           said
           once
           ,
           A
           Whores
           money
           is
           as
           good
           as
           a
           Ladies
           ,
           and
           a
           Bawdes
           as
           current
           as
           a
           Midwiues
           :
           Tush
           those
           times
           are
           past
           ,
           and
           our
           Hackney
           Coaches
           haue
           hurried
           all
           our
           Hackney
           customers
           quite
           out
           of
           our
           reach
           towards
           the
           North
           parts
           of
           the
           Citie
           ,
           where
           they
           are
           daily
           practised
           in
           the
           Coach
           ,
           that
           by
           often
           iolting
           they
           may
           the
           better
           endure
           the
           Cart
           vpon
           any
           occasion
           ,
           and
           indeede
           many
           times
           a
           hired
           Coachman
           with
           a
           basket
           hilted
           blade
           hang'd
           or
           executed
           about
           his
           shoulders
           in
           a
           belt
           ,
           (
           with
           a
           cloake
           of
           some
           py●e
           colour
           ,
           with
           two
           or
           three
           change
           of
           Laces
           about
           )
           may
           man
           ,
           a
           brace
           or
           a
           Leash
           of
           these
           curu●tting
           Cockatrices
           to
           their
           places
           of
           recreation
           ,
           and
           so
           saue
           them
           the
           charge
           of
           maintaining
           a
           Sir
           Pandarus
           or
           an
           Apple-squire
           ,
           which
           seruice
           indeede
           to
           speake
           the
           truth
           ,
           a
           Waterman
           is
           altogether
           vnfit
           for
           ;
           and
           the
           worst
           is
           ,
           most
           of
           them
           are
           such
           Loggerheads
           ,
           that
           they
           either
           will
           not
           learne
           ,
           but
           as
           I
           thinke
           would
           scorne
           to
           be
           taught
           :
           so
           that
           if
           the
           Sculler
           had
           not
           bene
           paide
           when
           hee
           was
           paide
           ,
           it
           is
           to
           be
           doubted
           that
           he
           should
           neuer
           haue
           beene
           paide
           ,
           for
           the
           Coachman
           hath
           gotten
           all
           the
           custome
           from
           the
           Scullers
           pay-Mistris
           .
        
         
           This
           is
           one
           apparent
           reason
           ,
           why
           all
           the
           Whores
           haue
           forsaken
           vs
           ,
           and
           spend
           their
           Cash
           so
           free
           and
           frequent
           vpon
           those
           ingenious
           ,
           well
           practiz'd
           ,
           and
           seruiceable
           hired
           Coachmen
           :
           but
           (
           a
           Pox
           take
           em
           
           all
           )
           whither
           doth
           my
           wits
           runne
           after
           Whores
           and
           Knaues
           ?
           I
           pray
           you
           but
           note
           the
           streetes
           ,
           and
           the
           chambers
           or
           lodgings
           in
           
             Fleet
             streete
          
           ,
           or
           the
           Strand
           ,
           how
           they
           are
           pesterd
           with
           them
           ,
           especially
           after
           a
           Masque
           or
           a
           Play
           at
           the
           Court
           ,
           where
           euen
           the
           very
           earth
           quakes
           and
           trembles
           ,
           the
           Cazements
           shatter
           ,
           tatter
           and
           clatter
           ,
           and
           such
           a
           confused
           noyse
           is
           made
           ,
           as
           if
           all
           the
           deuils
           in
           hell
           were
           at
           Barly-breake
           ;
           so
           that
           a
           man
           can
           neither
           sleepe
           ,
           speake
           ,
           heare
           ,
           write
           ,
           or
           eate
           his
           dinner
           or
           supper
           quiet
           for
           them
           :
           besides
           ,
           their
           tumbling
           din
           (
           like
           a
           counterfeit
           Thunder
           )
           doth
           sowre
           Wine
           ,
           Ale
           and
           Beere
           most
           abhominably
           ,
           to
           the
           impairing
           of
           their
           healths
           that
           drinke
           it
           ,
           and
           the
           making
           of
           many
           a
           Victualer
           and
           Tapster
           Trade-falne
           .
        
         
           A
           Wheelewright
           or
           a
           maker
           of
           Carts
           ,
           is
           an
           ancient
           ,
           a
           profitable
           ,
           and
           a
           Trade
           ,
           which
           by
           no
           meanes
           can
           be
           wanted
           ;
           yet
           so
           poore
           it
           is
           ,
           that
           scarce
           the
           best
           amongst
           them
           can
           hardly
           euer
           attaine
           to
           better
           then
           a
           Calueskin
           sute
           ,
           or
           a
           piece
           of
           neck
           Beefe
           &
           Carret-rootes
           to
           dinner
           on
           a
           Sunday
           ;
           nor
           scarcely
           any
           of
           them
           is
           euer
           mounted
           to
           any
           Office
           aboue
           the
           degree
           of
           a
           Scauenger
           ,
           or
           a
           Tything
           man
           at
           the
           most
           .
           On
           the
           contrary
           ,
           your
           Coachmakers
           trade
           is
           the
           most
           gainefullest
           about
           the
           Towne
           ,
           they
           are
           apparelled
           in
           Sattens
           and
           Veluets
           ,
           are
           Maister
           of
           their
           Parish
           ,
           Vestry
           men
           ,
           who
           fare
           like
           the
           Emperours
           Heliogabalus
           ,
           or
           Sardanapalus
           ,
           seldom
           without
           their
           Mackeroones
           ,
           Parmisants
           ,
           Iellyes
           and
           Kickshawes
           ,
           with
           baked
           Swannes
           ,
           Pasties
           hote
           ,
           or
           c●ld
           red
           Deere
           Pyes
           ,
           which
           they
           haue
           from
           their
           Debtors
           worships
           
           in
           the
           Countrey
           :
           neither
           are
           these
           Coaches
           onely
           thus
           cumbersome
           by
           their
           Rumbling
           and
           Rutting
           ,
           as
           they
           are
           by
           their
           standing
           still
           ,
           and
           damming
           vp
           the
           streetes
           and
           lanes
           ,
           as
           the
           
             Blacke
             Friers
          
           ,
           and
           diuers
           other
           places
           can
           witnesse
           ,
           and
           against
           Coach-makers
           dores
           the
           streetes
           are
           so
           pesterd
           and
           clogg'd
           with
           them
           ,
           that
           neither
           Man
           ,
           Horse
           ,
           or
           Cart
           can
           passe
           for
           them
           ;
           in
           so
           much
           as
           my
           Lord
           Maior
           is
           highly
           to
           be
           commended
           for
           his
           care
           in
           this
           restraint
           ,
           sending
           in
           February
           last
           many
           of
           them
           to
           the
           Counter
           for
           their
           carelesnesse
           herein
           .
        
         
           They
           haue
           beene
           the
           vniuersall
           decay
           of
           almost
           all
           the
           best
           Ash
           Trees
           in
           the
           Kingdome
           ,
           for
           a
           young
           plant
           can
           no
           soouer
           peepe
           vp
           to
           any
           perfection
           ,
           but
           presently
           it
           is
           felled
           for
           the
           Coach
           :
           Nor
           a
           young
           Horse
           bred
           of
           any
           beauty
           or
           goodnesse
           ,
           but
           he
           is
           ordained
           from
           his
           foaling
           for
           the
           seruice
           of
           the
           Coach
           ;
           so
           that
           whereas
           in
           former
           ages
           ,
           both
           in
           peace
           and
           warres
           ,
           we
           might
           compare
           with
           any
           Nation
           in
           the
           world
           for
           the
           multitude
           and
           goodnes
           of
           our
           Horses
           :
           wee
           now
           thinke
           of
           no
           other
           imployment
           for
           them
           ,
           then
           to
           draw
           in
           a
           Coach
           ,
           and
           when
           they
           are
           either
           lamed
           by
           the
           negligence
           of
           the
           Coachman
           ,
           or
           worne
           out
           after
           many
           yeares
           with
           trotting
           to
           Playes
           and
           Bawdy
           houses
           ,
           then
           are
           they
           (
           like
           olde
           maymed
           Souldiers
           )
           after
           their
           wounds
           and
           scarres
           ,
           preferd
           to
           Woodmongers
           ,
           (
           where
           they
           are
           well
           Billited
           )
           or
           to
           Draymen
           ,
           where
           they
           turne
           Tapsters
           ,
           and
           draw
           Beere
           by
           whole
           Barrels
           ,
           and
           Hogsheads
           at
           once
           ;
           and
           there
           they
           weare
           out
           the
           Remainder
           of
           their
           dayes
           ,
           till
           new
           harnei●
           for
           others
           ,
           are
           made
           of
           their
           olde
           skins
           .
        
         
         
           The
           last
           Proclamations
           concerning
           the
           Retiring
           of
           the
           Gentry
           our
           of
           the
           Citty
           into
           their
           Countreyes
           ,
           although
           my selfe
           ,
           with
           many
           thousands
           more
           were
           much
           impouerished
           and
           hindred
           of
           our
           Liuings
           by
           their
           departure
           ;
           yet
           on
           the
           other
           side
           how
           it
           cleared
           the
           Streetes
           of
           these
           way-stopping
           Whirligiggs
           ,
           for
           a
           man
           now
           might
           walke
           without
           being
           
             stand
             vp
             hoe
          
           ,
           by
           a
           fellow
           that
           scarcely
           can
           either
           goe
           or
           stand
           himselfe
           .
           Prince
           ,
           Nobilitie
           ,
           and
           Gentlemen
           of
           worth
           ,
           Offices
           &
           Quality
           ,
           haue
           herein
           their
           priuiledge
           ,
           and
           are
           exempt
           ,
           may
           ride
           as
           their
           occasions
           or
           pleasures
           shall
           indite
           them
           ,
           as
           most
           meete
           they
           should
           ;
           but
           when
           euery
           
             Gill
             Turntripe
          
           ,
           Mrs.
           Fumkins
           ,
           Madame
           Polecat
           ,
           and
           my
           Lady
           
             Trash
             ,
             Froth
          
           the
           Tapster
           ,
           Bill
           the
           Taylor
           ,
           Lauender
           the
           Broker
           ,
           Whiff
           the
           Tobacco
           seller
           ,
           with
           their
           companion
           Trugs
           ,
           must
           be
           Coach'd
           to
           S.
           
             Albones
             ,
             Burntwood
             ,
             Hockley
          
           in
           the
           
             Hole
             ,
             Croydon
             ,
             Windsor
             ,
             Vxbridge
             ,
          
           and
           many
           other
           places
           ,
           like
           wilde
           Haggards
           prancing
           vp
           and
           downe
           ,
           that
           what
           they
           get
           by
           cheating
           ,
           swearing
           ,
           and
           lying
           at
           home
           ,
           they
           spend
           in
           Ryot
           ,
           Whoring
           ,
           and
           Drunkennesse
           abroade
           .
           I
           say
           by
           my
           hallidome
           ,
           it
           is
           a
           burning
           shame
           ;
           I
           did
           lately
           write
           a
           Pamphlet
           called
           a
           Thiefe
           ,
           wherein
           I
           did
           a
           little
           touch
           vpon
           this
           point
           ;
           that
           seeing
           the
           Heard
           of
           Hireling
           Coaches
           are
           more
           then
           the
           Whirries
           on
           the
           Thames
           ,
           and
           that
           they
           make
           Leather
           so
           excessiue
           decre
           ,
           that
           it
           were
           good
           the
           order
           in
           Bohemia
           were
           obserued
           here
           ,
           which
           is
           ,
           that
           euery
           hired
           Coach
           should
           be
           drawne
           with
           Ropes
           ,
           and
           that
           all
           their
           Harnesse
           should
           be
           Hemp
           and
           Cordage
           :
           besides
           if
           the
           Couer
           and
           Bootes
           of
           them
           were
           of
           good
           
           Rosind
           or
           pitched
           Canuas
           ,
           it
           would
           bring
           downe
           the
           price
           of
           Leather
           ,
           and
           by
           that
           meanes
           a
           hired
           Coach
           would
           be
           knowne
           from
           a
           Princes
           ,
           a
           Noble
           mans
           ,
           Ladies
           ,
           or
           people
           of
           note
           ,
           account
           ,
           respect
           and
           quality
           .
        
         
           And
           if
           it
           be
           but
           considered
           in
           the
           right
           Kue
           ,
           a
           Coach
           or
           Carroach
           are
           meere
           Engines
           of
           Pride
           ,
           (
           which
           no
           man
           can
           denie
           to
           be
           one
           of
           the
           seauen
           deadly
           sinnes
           )
           for
           two
           Leash
           of
           Oyster-wiues
           hired
           a
           Coach
           on
           a
           Thursday
           after
           Whitsontide
           ,
           to
           carie
           them
           to
           the
           greene-Goose
           Faire
           at
           Stratford
           the
           Bowe
           ,
           and
           as
           they
           were
           hurried
           betwixt
           Algate
           and
           Mile-end
           ,
           they
           were
           so
           be-Madam'd
           ,
           be-Mistrist
           ,
           and
           Ladifide
           by
           the
           Beggers
           ,
           that
           the
           foolish
           women
           began
           to
           swell
           with
           a
           proud
           supposition
           or
           Imaginary
           greatnesse
           ,
           and
           gaue
           all
           their
           money
           to
           the
           mendicanting
           Canters
           ;
           insomuch
           that
           they
           were
           feigne
           to
           pawne
           their
           Gownes
           and
           Smocks
           the
           next
           day
           to
           buy
           Oysters
           ,
           or
           else
           their
           pride
           had
           made
           them
           Cry
           for
           want
           of
           what
           to
           Cry
           withall
           .
        
         
           Thus
           much
           I
           can
           speake
           by
           experience
           ;
           I
           doe
           partly
           know
           some
           of
           mine
           owne
           qualities
           ,
           and
           I
           doe
           know
           that
           I
           doe
           hate
           pride
           ,
           as
           I
           hate
           famine
           or
           surfetting
           ;
           and
           moreouer
           ,
           I
           know
           my selfe
           to
           be
           (
           at
           the
           best
           )
           but
           
             Iohn
             Taylor
          
           ,
           and
           a
           mechanicall
           Waterman
           ,
           yet
           it
           was
           but
           my
           chance
           once
           to
           be
           brought
           from
           Whitehall
           to
           the
           Tower
           in
           my
           Maister
           Sir
           
             William
             Waades
          
           Coach
           ,
           and
           before
           I
           had
           beene
           drawne
           twentie
           yards
           ,
           such
           a
           Timpany
           of
           pride
           puft
           me
           vp
           ,
           that
           I
           was
           ready
           to
           burst
           with
           the
           winde
           Chollick
           of
           vaine
           glory
           .
           In
           what
           state
           I
           would
           leane
           ouer
           the
           Boote
           ,
           
           and
           looke
           ,
           and
           pry
           if
           I
           saw
           any
           of
           my
           acquaintance
           ,
           and
           then
           I
           would
           stand
           vp
           ,
           vayling
           my
           Bonnet
           ,
           kissing
           my
           right
           clawe
           ,
           extending
           my
           armes
           as
           I
           had
           beene
           swimming
           ,
           with
           God
           saue
           your
           Lordship
           ,
           Worship
           ,
           or
           how
           doest
           thou
           honest
           neighbour
           or
           good-fellow
           ?
           in
           a
           word
           ,
           the
           Coach
           made
           me
           thinke
           my selfe
           better
           then
           my
           betters
           that
           went
           on
           foote
           ,
           and
           that
           I
           was
           but
           little
           inferiour
           to
           Tamberlaine
           ,
           being
           iolted
           thus
           in
           state
           by
           those
           pampered
           Iades
           of
           Belgia
           :
           all
           men
           of
           indifferent
           iudgement
           will
           confesse
           ,
           that
           a
           Cart
           is
           an
           instrument
           conformable
           to
           law
           ,
           order
           ,
           and
           discipline
           ;
           for
           it
           rests
           on
           the
           Sabaoth
           dayes
           ,
           and
           commonly
           all
           other
           Holy
           dayes
           ,
           and
           if
           it
           should
           by
           any
           meanes
           breake
           or
           transgresse
           against
           any
           of
           these
           good
           Iniunctions
           ,
           there
           are
           Informers
           that
           lye
           in
           ambush
           (
           like
           carefull
           Scowtes
           )
           to
           informe
           against
           the
           poore
           Cart
           ,
           that
           in
           conclusion
           my
           Lady
           Pecunia
           must
           become
           surety
           and
           take
           vp
           the
           matter
           ,
           or
           else
           there
           will
           be
           more
           stirre
           about
           the
           flesh
           then
           the
           Broath
           is
           worth
           :
           whereas
           (
           on
           the
           contrary
           )
           a
           Coach
           like
           a
           Pagan
           ,
           an
           Heathen
           ,
           an
           Infidel
           ,
           or
           Atheist
           ,
           obserues
           neither
           Sabaoth
           ,
           or
           holiday
           ,
           time
           or
           season
           ,
           ●obustiously
           breaking
           through
           the
           toyle
           or
           net
           of
           deuine
           and
           humane
           law
           ,
           order
           ,
           and
           authority
           ,
           and
           as
           it
           were
           contemning
           all
           Christian
           conformity
           ;
           like
           a
           dogge
           that
           lyes
           on
           a
           heape
           of
           Hay
           ,
           who
           will
           eate
           none
           of
           it
           himselfe
           ,
           nor
           suffer
           any
           other
           beast
           to
           eate
           any
           :
           euen
           so
           the
           Coach
           is
           not
           capable
           of
           hearing
           what
           a
           Preacher
           saith
           ,
           nor
           will
           it
           suffer
           men
           or
           women
           to
           heare
           that
           would
           heare
           ,
           for
           it
           makes
           such
           a
           hideous
           rumbling
           in
           the
           Streetes
           by
           many
           Church
           
           dores
           ,
           that
           peoples
           eares
           are
           stop'd
           with
           the
           noyse
           ,
           whereby
           they
           are
           debard
           of
           their
           edifying
           ,
           which
           makes
           faith
           so
           fruitlesse
           ,
           good
           workes
           so
           barren
           ,
           and
           charity
           as
           cold
           at
           Midsommer
           ,
           as
           if
           it
           were
           a
           great
           Frost
           ,
           and
           by
           this
           meanes
           soules
           are
           rob'd
           and
           starued
           of
           their
           heeuenly
           Manna
           ,
           and
           the
           Kingdome
           of
           darknesse
           replenished
           :
           to
           auoyd
           which
           ,
           they
           haue
           set
           vp
           a
           crosse
           post
           in
           Cheapside
           on
           Sundayes
           neere
           Woodstreet
           end
           ,
           which
           makes
           the
           Coaches
           rattle
           and
           iumble
           on
           the
           other
           side
           of
           the
           way
           further
           from
           the
           Church
           ,
           and
           from
           hindering
           of
           their
           hearing
           .
        
         
           The
           
             Nagaians
             ,
             Iughonians
          
           ,
           and
           the
           vngodly
           barbarous
           Tartarians
           ,
           who
           knew
           no
           God
           or
           deuill
           ,
           Heauen
           nor
           hell
           ,
           and
           who
           indeede
           are
           Nations
           that
           haue
           neither
           Townes
           ,
           Citties
           ,
           Villages
           ,
           or
           houses
           ;
           Their
           habitations
           are
           nothing
           but
           Coaches
           :
           in
           their
           Coaches
           they
           eate
           ,
           sleepe
           ,
           beget
           children
           ,
           who
           are
           also
           there
           borne
           ,
           and
           borne
           from
           place
           to
           place
           ,
           with
           them
           
             the
             World
             runnes
             on
             Wheeles
          
           continually
           ,
           for
           they
           are
           drawne
           in
           Droues
           or
           Heards
           20.
           30.
           or
           40000.
           together
           ,
           to
           any
           fruitfull
           place
           or
           Champion
           plaine
           ,
           where
           they
           and
           their
           beasts
           doe
           stay
           till
           they
           haue
           deuoured
           all
           manner
           of
           sustenance
           that
           may
           maintaine
           life
           ,
           and
           then
           they
           remoue
           to
           a
           fresh
           place
           doing
           the
           like
           ;
           thus
           wearing
           out
           their
           accursed
           liues
           like
           the
           broode
           of
           Caine
           ,
           they
           and
           their
           houses
           being
           perpetuall
           vagabonds
           ,
           and
           continuall
           runnagates
           vpon
           the
           face
           of
           the
           earth
           .
           They
           are
           so
           practized
           and
           inured
           in
           all
           kinde
           of
           Barbarisme
           ,
           that
           they
           will
           milke
           one
           Mare
           and
           let
           another
           blood
           ,
           and
           the
           blood
           and
           the
           milke
           they
           will
           Charne
           together
           
           in
           their
           Hats
           or
           Caps
           ,
           till
           they
           haue
           made
           fresh
           Cheese
           and
           Creame
           (
           which
           the
           deuill
           will
           scarce
           eate
           )
           from
           these
           people
           our
           Coaches
           had
           first
           originall
           ,
           and
           I
           doe
           wish
           with
           all
           my
           heart
           that
           the
           superfluous
           number
           of
           all
           our
           hireling
           Hackney
           carrie-Knaues
           and
           Hurrie-Whores
           ,
           with
           their
           makers
           and
           maintainers
           were
           there
           ,
           where
           they
           might
           neuer
           want
           continuall
           imployment
           .
        
         
           For
           their
           Antiquity
           in
           England
           ,
           I
           thinke
           it
           is
           in
           the
           memory
           of
           many
           men
           when
           in
           the
           whole
           Kingdome
           ,
           there
           was
           not
           one
           ,
           and
           there
           was
           another
           principall
           vertue
           ,
           as
           good
           as
           themselues
           came
           with
           them
           :
           for
           the
           Prouerbe
           saith
           ,
           That
           mischiefe
           or
           mischances
           seldome
           come
           alone
           :
           and
           it
           is
           a
           doubtfull
           question
           ,
           whether
           the
           deuill
           brought
           Tobacco
           into
           England
           in
           a
           Coach
           ,
           or
           else
           brought
           a
           Coach
           in
           a
           fogge
           or
           mist
           of
           Tobacco
           .
        
         
           For
           in
           the
           yeare
           1564.
           one
           
             William
             B●ouen
          
           a
           Dutchman
           brought
           first
           the
           vse
           of
           Coaches
           hither
           ,
           and
           the
           said
           Boonen
           was
           Queene
           Elizabeths
           Coachman
           ,
           for
           indeede
           a
           Coach
           was
           a
           strange
           Monster
           in
           those
           dayes
           ,
           and
           the
           fight
           of
           them
           put
           both
           horse
           and
           man
           into
           amazement
           :
           some
           said
           it
           was
           a
           great
           Crab-shell
           brought
           out
           of
           China
           ,
           and
           some
           imagin'd
           it
           to
           be
           one
           of
           the
           Pagan
           Temples
           ,
           in
           which
           the
           Canibals
           adored
           the
           deuill
           :
           but
           at
           last
           all
           those
           doubts
           were
           cleared
           ,
           and
           Coach-making
           became
           a
           substantiall
           Trade
           :
           So
           that
           now
           all
           the
           world
           may
           see
           ,
           they
           are
           as
           common
           as
           Whores
           ,
           and
           may
           be
           hired
           as
           easie
           as
           Knights
           of
           the
           Post.
           
        
         
           The
           Cart
           is
           an
           open
           transparent
           Engine
           ,
           that
           any
           
           man
           may
           perceiue
           the
           plaine
           honesty
           of
           it
           ;
           there
           is
           no
           part
           of
           it
           within
           or
           without
           ,
           but
           it
           is
           in
           the
           continuall
           view
           of
           all
           men
           :
           On
           the
           contrary
           ,
           the
           Coach
           is
           a
           close
           hipocrite
           ,
           for
           it
           hath
           a
           couer
           for
           any
           Knauery
           ,
           and
           Curtaines
           to
           vaile
           or
           shadow
           any
           wickednesse
           :
           besides
           ,
           like
           a
           perpetuall
           Cheater
           ,
           it
           weares
           two
           Bootes
           and
           no
           Spurres
           ,
           sometimes
           hauing
           two
           paire
           of
           legges
           in
           one
           Boote
           ,
           and
           often
           times
           (
           against
           nature
           )
           most
           preposterously
           it
           makes
           faire
           Ladies
           weare
           the
           Boote
           ;
           and
           if
           you
           note
           ,
           they
           are
           carried
           backe
           to
           backe
           ,
           like
           people
           surpriz'd
           by
           Pyrates
           ,
           to
           be
           tyed
           in
           that
           miserable
           manner
           ,
           and
           throwne
           ouer
           boord
           into
           the
           Sea.
           Moreouer
           ,
           it
           makes
           people
           imitate
           Sea
           Crabs
           ,
           in
           being
           drawne
           side-wayes
           ,
           as
           they
           are
           when
           they
           sit
           in
           the
           boote
           of
           the
           Coach
           ,
           and
           it
           is
           a
           dangerous
           kinde
           of
           Carriage
           for
           the
           Common-wealth
           ,
           if
           it
           be
           rightly
           considered
           ;
           for
           when
           a
           man
           shall
           be
           a
           Iustice
           of
           the
           Peace
           ,
           a
           Serieant
           ,
           or
           a
           Counsellour
           at
           Law
           ;
           what
           hope
           is
           it
           that
           all
           or
           many
           of
           them
           should
           vse
           vpright
           dealing
           ,
           that
           haue
           beene
           so
           often
           in
           their
           youth
           ,
           and
           daily
           in
           their
           maturer
           or
           riper
           age
           ,
           drawne
           aside
           continually
           in
           a
           Coach
           ,
           some
           to
           the
           right
           hand
           ,
           and
           some
           to
           the
           left
           ,
           for
           vse
           makes
           perfectnesse
           ,
           and
           often
           going
           aside
           willingly
           makes
           men
           forget
           to
           goe
           vpright
           naturally
           .
        
         
           The
           order
           of
           Knighthood
           is
           both
           of
           great
           Antiquity
           and
           very
           honourable
           ,
           yet
           within
           these
           later
           times
           there
           is
           a
           strange
           mysterie
           crept
           into
           in
           ,
           for
           I
           haue
           noted
           it
           that
           when
           a
           Gentleman
           hath
           the
           sword
           laid
           vpon
           his
           shoulder
           ,
           either
           by
           his
           Prince
           ,
           or
           his
           Deputy
           or
           Generall
           in
           the
           field
           ,
           although
           the
           blow
           
           with
           the
           sword
           ,
           be
           an
           honour
           to
           the
           man
           ,
           yet
           (
           by
           a
           kinde
           of
           inspiration
           )
           it
           cripples
           his
           wife
           ,
           though
           she
           be
           at
           that
           time
           300.
           miles
           from
           her
           husband
           ,
           for
           if
           you
           but
           note
           her
           ,
           you
           shall
           see
           her
           lamed
           for
           euer
           ,
           so
           that
           shee
           can
           by
           no
           meanes
           goe
           without
           leading
           vnder
           the
           arme
           ,
           or
           else
           shee
           must
           be
           carried
           in
           a
           Coach
           all
           her
           life
           time
           after
           ;
           forgetting
           in
           a
           manner
           to
           goe
           on
           her
           feete
           so
           much
           as
           to
           Church
           ,
           though
           it
           bee
           but
           two
           Quoytes
           cast
           ;
           for
           I
           haue
           heard
           of
           a
           Gentlewoman
           that
           was
           lamed
           in
           this
           manner
           ,
           who
           sent
           her
           man
           to
           Smithfield
           from
           Charing-Crosse
           ,
           to
           hire
           a
           Coach
           to
           carrie
           her
           to
           Whitehall
           ;
           another
           did
           the
           like
           from
           Ludgate
           hill
           ,
           to
           be
           carried
           to
           see
           a
           Play
           at
           the
           Blacke
           Friers
           :
           And
           in
           former
           times
           when
           they
           vsed
           to
           walke
           on
           foote
           ,
           and
           recreate
           themselues
           ,
           they
           were
           both
           strong
           and
           healthfull
           ;
           now
           all
           their
           exercise
           is
           priuately
           to
           Sawe
           Billets
           ,
           to
           hang
           in
           a
           Swinge
           ,
           or
           to
           rowle
           the
           great
           Rowler
           in
           the
           Alleyes
           of
           their
           Garden
           ,
           but
           to
           goe
           without
           leading
           ,
           or
           Riding
           in
           a
           Coach
           is
           such
           an
           impeachment
           and
           derogation
           to
           their
           Calling
           ,
           which
           flesh
           and
           blood
           can
           by
           no
           meanes
           endure
           .
        
         
           Euery
           man
           knowes
           ,
           that
           were
           it
           not
           for
           the
           Cart
           the
           Hay
           would
           Rot
           in
           the
           medowes
           ,
           the
           Corne
           perish
           in
           the
           fields
           ,
           the
           Markets
           be
           emptily
           furnished
           ,
           at
           the
           Courts
           remoue
           the
           King
           would
           bee
           vnseru'd
           ,
           and
           many
           a
           Gallant
           would
           bee
           enforced
           to
           bee
           his
           owne
           Sumpter-horse
           to
           carrie
           his
           luggage
           ,
           bag
           and
           baggage
           himselfe
           ;
           and
           finally
           ,
           were
           it
           not
           for
           the
           mannerly
           and
           courteous
           seruice
           of
           the
           Cart
           ,
           many
           a
           
           well
           deseruing
           ill
           condition'd
           braue
           fellow
           might
           goe
           on
           foote
           to
           the
           gallowes
           .
        
         
           A
           Cart
           (
           by
           the
           iudgement
           of
           an
           honourable
           and
           graue
           Lawyer
           )
           is
           elder
           brother
           to
           a
           Coach
           for
           antiquity
           ;
           and
           for
           vtility
           and
           profit
           ,
           all
           the
           world
           knows
           which
           is
           which
           ,
           yet
           so
           vnnaturall
           and
           vnmannerly
           a
           brother
           the
           Coach
           is
           ,
           that
           it
           will
           giue
           no
           way
           to
           the
           Cart
           ,
           but
           with
           pride
           ,
           contempt
           bitter
           curses
           and
           execrations
           ,
           the
           Coachman
           wishes
           all
           the
           Carts
           on
           fire
           ,
           or
           at
           the
           diuell
           ,
           and
           that
           Carmen
           were
           all
           hang'd
           ,
           when
           they
           cannot
           passe
           at
           their
           pleasures
           ,
           quite
           forgetting
           themselues
           to
           be
           sawcy
           vnprofitable
           intruders
           ,
           vp
           starts
           ,
           and
           Innouators
           .
        
         
           When
           I
           see
           a
           Coach
           put
           vp
           into
           a
           house
           (
           mee
           thinkes
           )
           the
           pole
           standing
           stiffely
           erected
           ,
           it
           lookes
           like
           the
           Image
           of
           Priapus
           ,
           whom
           the
           libidinous
           and
           leacherous
           Whores
           and
           Knaues
           of
           Egypt
           were
           wont
           to
           fall
           downe
           and
           worship
           ;
           and
           I
           pray
           you
           what
           hinderance
           hath
           it
           but
           it
           may
           vse
           the
           Paphean
           or
           Priapean
           game
           ?
           for
           it
           is
           neuer
           vnfurnished
           of
           a
           bed
           and
           curtaines
           ,
           with
           shop
           windowes
           of
           leather
           to
           buckle
           Bawdry
           vp
           as
           close
           in
           the
           midst
           of
           the
           street
           ,
           as
           it
           were
           in
           the
           Stewes
           ,
           or
           a
           Nunnery
           of
           Venus
           Votaries
           .
        
         
           What
           excessiue
           waste
           doe
           they
           make
           of
           our
           best
           broad-cloath
           of
           all
           colours
           ?
           and
           many
           times
           a
           young
           heire
           will
           put
           his
           old
           Fathers
           old
           Coach
           in
           a
           mourning
           Gowne
           of
           Cloth
           or
           Cotton
           ,
           when
           many
           of
           the
           poore
           distressed
           members
           of
           Christ
           ,
           goes
           naked
           ,
           staruing
           with
           cold
           ,
           not
           hauing
           any
           thing
           to
           hide
           their
           wretched
           carkasses
           ;
           and
           what
           spoyle
           of
           our
           
           Veluets
           ,
           Damaskes
           ,
           Taffataes
           ,
           Siluer
           and
           Gold
           Lace
           ,
           with
           Fringes
           of
           all
           sorts
           ,
           and
           how
           much
           consumed
           in
           guilding
           ,
           wherein
           is
           spent
           no
           small
           quantity
           of
           our
           best
           and
           finest
           gold
           :
           nor
           is
           the
           charge
           little
           of
           maintaining
           a
           Coach
           in
           reparation
           ,
           for
           the
           very
           mending
           of
           the
           Harnesse
           ,
           a
           Knights
           Coachman
           brought
           in
           a
           bill
           to
           his
           Master
           of
           25.
           pounds
           :
           besides
           there
           is
           vsed
           more
           care
           &
           diligence
           in
           matching
           the
           Horses
           and
           Mares
           ,
           then
           many
           fathers
           and
           mothers
           doe
           in
           the
           marriage
           of
           their
           sonnes
           and
           daughters
           :
           for
           many
           times
           a
           rich
           lubberly
           Clowne
           ,
           the
           sonne
           of
           some
           gowty
           extortioner
           ,
           or
           rent-racking
           Rascall
           ,
           (
           for
           his
           accursed
           muckes
           sake
           )
           may
           bee
           matched
           with
           a
           beatifull
           or
           propper
           well
           qualified
           and
           nobly
           descended
           Gentlewoman
           ,
           and
           a
           well
           fac'd
           handsome
           Esquire
           or
           Knights
           sonne
           and
           heire
           may
           be
           ioyn'd
           with
           a
           Ioyners
           puppet
           ,
           or
           the
           daughter
           of
           a
           Sexton
           ;
           but
           for
           the
           choyce
           of
           your
           Coach-horses
           there
           is
           another
           manner
           of
           prouidence
           to
           be
           vsed
           ,
           for
           they
           must
           be
           al
           of
           a
           colour
           ,
           longitude
           ,
           latitude
           ,
           Cressitude
           ,
           height
           ,
           length
           ,
           thicknesse
           ,
           breadth
           ,
           (
           I
           muse
           they
           doe
           not
           weigh
           them
           in
           a
           paire
           of
           Ballance
           )
           and
           being
           once
           matched
           with
           a
           great
           deale
           of
           care
           and
           cost
           ,
           if
           one
           of
           them
           chance
           to
           die
           (
           as
           by
           experience
           I
           know
           a
           Horse
           to
           bee
           a
           mortall
           beast
           )
           then
           is
           the
           Coach
           like
           a
           maimed
           cripple
           ,
           not
           able
           to
           trauell
           ,
           till
           after
           much
           diligent
           search
           ,
           a
           meete
           mate
           be
           found
           whose
           correspondency
           may
           be
           as
           equiualent
           to
           the
           suruiuing
           Palfrey
           ,
           and
           in
           all
           respects
           as
           like
           as
           a
           Broome
           to
           a
           Bee●ome
           ,
           Barme
           to
           Yeast
           ,
           or
           Quodlings
           to
           boyld
           Apples
           .
        
         
         
           The
           mischiefes
           that
           haue
           beene
           done
           by
           them
           are
           not
           to
           be
           numbred
           ,
           as
           breaking
           of
           legges
           and
           armes
           ,
           ouerthrowing
           downe
           hills
           ,
           ouer
           bridges
           .
           running
           ouer
           children
           ,
           lame
           and
           old
           people
           ,
           as
           Henrie
           the
           fourth
           of
           France
           ,
           (
           the
           father
           to
           the
           King
           that
           now
           reigneth
           )
           he
           and
           his
           Queene
           were
           once
           like
           to
           haue
           beene
           drowned
           ,
           the
           Coach
           ouerthrowing
           besides
           a
           bridge
           ,
           &
           to
           proue
           that
           a
           Coach
           owed
           him
           an
           vnfortunate
           tricke
           ,
           he
           was
           some
           few
           yeares
           after
           his
           first
           escape
           ,
           most
           inhumanely
           and
           traiterously
           murdred
           in
           one
           ,
           by
           Rauiliacke
           ,
           in
           the
           streets
           at
           Paris
           :
           but
           what
           neede
           I
           runne
           my
           inuention
           out
           of
           breath
           into
           forreigne
           countreys
           for
           examples
           ,
           when
           many
           of
           the
           chiefe
           Nobilitie
           and
           Gentrie
           of
           our
           owne
           Nation
           haue
           had
           some
           triall
           and
           sad
           experience
           of
           the
           truth
           of
           what
           I
           write
           ?
           sometimes
           the
           Coachman
           (
           it
           may
           be
           hath
           bin
           drunk
           ,
           or
           to
           speake
           more
           mannerly
           stolne
           a
           Manchet
           out
           of
           the
           Brewers
           Basket
           )
           hath
           tumbled
           besides
           his
           Box
           of
           state
           ,
           and
           Coach
           running
           ouer
           him
           hath
           kild
           him
           ,
           the
           whilst
           the
           horses
           (
           hauing
           the
           reines
           loose
           )
           haue
           runne
           away
           with
           their
           Rattle
           at
           their
           heeles
           (
           like
           dogges
           that
           had
           bladders
           of
           dryed
           Beanes
           ,
           or
           empty
           bottles
           at
           their
           tailes
           )
           as
           if
           the
           deuill
           had
           beene
           in
           them
           ,
           and
           sometimes
           in
           the
           full
           speed
           of
           their
           course
           a
           wheele
           breakes
           ,
           or
           the
           Naue
           slips
           off
           from
           the
           Axletree
           ,
           downe
           leapes
           the
           Coachman
           ,
           and
           away
           runs
           the
           horses
           ,
           throwing
           their
           carriage
           into
           bushes
           ,
           hedges
           ,
           and
           ditches
           ,
           neuer
           leauing
           their
           mad
           pace
           ,
           till
           they
           haue
           torne
           to
           tatters
           their
           tumbling
           Tumbrell
           ,
           to
           the
           manifest
           perill
           ,
           danger
           ,
           and
           vnrecouerable
           hurt
           to
           those
           whom
           they
           
           carry
           ,
           and
           to
           all
           men
           ,
           women
           ,
           children
           and
           cattell
           ,
           as
           Hogges
           ,
           Sheepe
           ,
           or
           whatsouer
           chanceth
           to
           be
           in
           their
           way
           :
           besides
           the
           great
           cost
           &
           charge
           of
           mending
           and
           Reparations
           of
           the
           Coach.
           
        
         
           There
           is
           almost
           nothing
           ,
           but
           when
           it
           is
           worne
           out
           ,
           it
           will
           serue
           for
           some
           vse
           ,
           either
           for
           profit
           or
           pleasure
           (
           except
           a
           Coach
           )
           of
           the
           bottome
           of
           an
           old
           Cart
           ,
           one
           may
           make
           a
           fence
           to
           stop
           a
           gap
           ,
           of
           the
           Raues
           one
           may
           make
           a
           Ladder
           for
           Hennes
           to
           goe
           to
           Roost
           :
           of
           an
           olde
           Bores
           Franke
           ,
           a
           new
           Dogge-kennell
           may
           be
           founded
           ;
           of
           a
           decayed
           Wherry
           or
           Boat
           ,
           a
           backe
           part
           of
           a
           house
           of
           office
           may
           be
           framed
           (
           as
           you
           may
           see
           euery
           where
           on
           the
           Bankside
           )
           of
           an
           old
           Barrell
           ,
           a
           bolting
           Hutch
           ,
           an
           ouer-worne
           old
           Whore
           will
           make
           a
           spick
           and
           span
           new
           Bawde
           ;
           and
           a
           rotte●
           Bawde
           may
           make
           a
           new
           Witch
           .
           I
           knew
           a
           neighbour
           of
           mine
           (
           an
           olde
           Iustice
           )
           that
           of
           the
           bald
           veluet
           lyning
           of
           his
           Cloake
           ,
           made
           him
           a
           paire
           of
           new
           Breeches
           ,
           and
           those
           Breeches
           being
           worne
           past
           the
           best
           ,
           with
           the
           best
           of
           them
           he
           made
           his
           wife
           a
           new
           French
           Hoode
           ;
           and
           when
           that
           was
           bare
           and
           past
           her
           wearing
           ,
           it
           made
           him
           facing
           for
           his
           new
           Boote
           tops
           :
           But
           an
           old
           Coach
           is
           good
           for
           nothing
           but
           to
           cousen
           and
           deceiue
           people
           ,
           as
           of
           the
           olde
           rotten
           Leather
           they
           make
           Vampies
           for
           high
           Shooes
           ,
           for
           honest
           Country
           Plow-men
           ,
           or
           Belts
           for
           Souldiers
           ,
           or
           inner
           lynings
           for
           Girdles
           ,
           Dogge-chollers
           for
           Mastiffes
           ,
           indeede
           the
           Box
           if
           it
           were
           bored
           thorow
           ,
           would
           be
           fittest
           for
           a
           close
           stoole
           ,
           and
           the
           body
           would
           (
           perhaps
           )
           serue
           for
           a
           Sow
           to
           pigge
           in
           .
        
         
           If
           the
           curses
           of
           people
           that
           are
           wrong'd
           by
           them
           
           might
           haue
           preuailed
           ,
           sure
           I
           thinke
           the
           most
           part
           of
           them
           had
           beene
           at
           the
           deuill
           many
           yeres
           agoe
           .
           Bu●●hers
           cannot
           passe
           with
           their
           cattell
           for
           them
           .
           Market
           folkes
           which
           bring
           prouision
           of
           victuals
           to
           the
           Citie
           ,
           are
           stop'd
           ,
           stay'd
           ,
           and
           hindred
           .
           Carts
           or
           Waynes
           with
           their
           necessary
           ladings
           are
           debard
           and
           letted
           :
           the
           Milke-maydes
           ware
           is
           often
           spilt
           in
           the
           dirt
           ▪
           and
           peoples
           guts
           like
           to
           be
           crushed
           out
           being
           crowded
           and
           shrowded
           vp
           against
           stalls
           ,
           &
           stoopes
           .
           whilst
           Mistres
           Siluerpin
           with
           her
           Pander
           ,
           and
           a
           paire
           of
           ●●amd
           Pullets
           ride
           grinning
           and
           deriding
           in
           their
           H●ll-Cart
           at
           their
           miseries
           who
           goe
           on
           foote
           :
           I
           my selfe
           haue
           beene
           so
           serued
           when
           I
           haue
           wished
           them
           all
           in
           the
           great
           Breach
           ,
           or
           on
           a
           light
           fire
           vpon
           Hownslow
           heath
           ,
           or
           Salisburie
           plaine
           :
           and
           their
           damming
           vp
           the
           streets
           in
           this
           manner
           ,
           where
           people
           are
           wedged
           together
           that
           they
           can
           hardly
           stirre
           ,
           is
           a
           maine
           and
           great
           aduantage
           to
           the
           most
           vertuous
           Mysterie
           of
           purse-cutring
           ,
           and
           for
           any
           thing
           I
           know
           the
           hired
           or
           hackney
           Coachman
           may
           ioyne
           in
           confederacy
           and
           share
           with
           the
           Cut-purse
           ,
           one
           to
           stop
           vp
           the
           way
           ,
           and
           the
           other
           to
           shift
           in
           the
           Crowd
           .
        
         
           The
           superfluous
           vse
           of
           Coaches
           hath
           been
           the
           occasions
           of
           many
           vile
           and
           odious
           crimes
           ,
           as
           murther
           ,
           theft
           ,
           cheating
           ,
           hangings
           ,
           whippings
           ,
           Pillories
           ,
           ●●ockes
           and
           cages
           ;
           for
           house-keeping
           neuer
           decaied
           〈◊〉
           Coaches
           came
           into
           England
           ,
           till
           which
           time
           those
           were
           accounted
           the
           best
           men
           who
           had
           most
           followers
           and
           retainers
           ;
           then
           land
           about
           or
           neere
           London
           was
           thought
           deere
           enough
           at
           an
           noble
           the
           Aker
           
           yearely
           ,
           and
           a
           ten-pound
           house-rent
           now
           ,
           was
           scarce
           twenty
           shillings
           then
           ,
           but
           the
           witchcraft
           of
           the
           Coach
           quickly
           mounted
           the
           price
           of
           all
           things
           (
           except
           poore
           mens
           labour
           )
           and
           withal
           transformed
           (
           in
           some
           places
           10.
           20.
           30.
           40.
           50.
           60.
           or
           100.
           proper
           Seruingmen
           ,
           into
           two
           or
           three
           Animals
           
             (
             videlicet
          
           )
           a
           Butterfly
           page
           ,
           a
           trotting
           footman
           ,
           a
           stiff-drinking
           Coachman
           ,
           a
           Cooke
           ,
           a
           Clarke
           ,
           a
           Steward
           ,
           and
           a
           Butler
           ,
           which
           hath
           enforced
           many
           a
           discarded
           tall
           fellow
           (
           through
           want
           of
           meanes
           to
           liue
           ,
           and
           grace
           to
           guide
           him
           in
           his
           pouertie
           )
           to
           fall
           into
           such
           mischieuous
           actions
           before
           named
           ,
           for
           which
           I
           thinke
           the
           Gallowses
           in
           England
           haue
           deuonred
           as
           many
           lusty
           valiant
           men
           within
           these
           30.
           or
           40.
           yeares
           ,
           as
           would
           haue
           beene
           a
           sufficient
           armie
           to
           beate
           the
           foes
           of
           Christ
           out
           of
           Christendome
           ,
           and
           marching
           to
           Constantinople
           ,
           haue
           pluck'd
           the
           great
           Turke
           by
           the
           Beard
           :
           but
           as
           is
           aforesaid
           ,
           this
           is
           the
           age
           wherien
           
             The
             World
             Runnes
             on
             Wheeles
          
           .
        
         
           It
           is
           a
           most
           vneasie
           kinde
           of
           passage
           in
           Coaches
           on
           the
           paued
           streetes
           in
           London
           ,
           wherein
           men
           and
           women
           are
           so
           tost
           ,
           tumbled
           ,
           iumbled
           ,
           rumbled
           ,
           and
           crossing
           of
           kennels
           ,
           dunghills
           ,
           and
           vneuen-wayes
           ,
           which
           is
           enough
           to
           put
           all
           the
           guts
           in
           their
           bellies
           out
           of
           ioynt
           ,
           to
           make
           them
           haue
           the
           Palsey
           or
           Megrum
           ,
           or
           to
           cast
           their
           Gorges
           with
           continuall
           Rocking
           and
           Wallowing
           :
           to
           preuent
           which
           ,
           there
           was
           a
           gentleman
           of
           great
           note
           ,
           found
           fault
           with
           his
           Coach-horses
           ,
           because
           his
           Coach
           iolted
           him
           ,
           commanding
           his
           man
           to
           sell
           away
           those
           hard
           trotting
           Iades
           ,
           and
           to
           buy
           him
           a
           paire
           of
           Amblers
           ,
           that
           might
           draw
           him
           
           with
           more
           ease
           :
           another
           ,
           when
           hee
           saw
           one
           of
           his
           horses
           more
           lusty
           and
           free
           then
           his
           fellow
           ,
           hee
           commanded
           his
           Coachman
           to
           feede
           him
           onely
           with
           bread
           &
           water
           ,
           till
           he
           were
           as
           tame
           and
           quiet
           as
           the
           other
           ,
           which
           wise
           command
           was
           dutifully
           obserued
           .
        
         
           The
           best
           vse
           that
           euer
           was
           made
           of
           Coaches
           was
           in
           the
           old
           warres
           betwixt
           the
           Hungarians
           and
           the
           Turkes
           ,
           (
           for
           like
           so
           many
           land
           Gallies
           )
           they
           carried
           souldiers
           on
           each
           side
           with
           Crosbowes
           ,
           and
           other
           warlike
           engines
           ,
           and
           they
           serued
           for
           good
           vse
           being
           many
           thousands
           of
           them
           ,
           to
           disrowte
           their
           enemies
           ,
           breaking
           their
           rankes
           and
           order
           ,
           making
           free
           and
           open
           passage
           for
           their
           horse
           and
           foote
           amongst
           the
           scattered
           squadrons
           and
           regiments
           ,
           &
           vpon
           occasion
           they
           serued
           as
           a
           wall
           to
           Embarricado
           and
           fortifie
           their
           campe
           :
           this
           was
           a
           millitarie
           imployment
           for
           Coaches
           ,
           and
           in
           this
           sort
           onely
           I
           could
           wish
           all
           our
           hirelings
           to
           be
           vsed
           .
           It
           is
           to
           be
           supposed
           that
           Pharaohs
           Charriots
           which
           were
           drowned
           in
           the
           red
           sea
           ,
           were
           no
           other
           things
           in
           shape
           and
           fashion
           then
           our
           Coaches
           are
           at
           this
           time
           ,
           and
           what
           great
           pitty
           was
           it
           that
           the
           makers
           and
           memories
           of
           them
           had
           not
           been
           obliuiously
           swallowed
           in
           that
           Egiptian
           downfall
           ?
        
         
           Mowntaigne
           ,
           a
           learned
           and
           a
           noble
           French
           Writer
           ,
           doth
           relate
           in
           his
           booke
           of
           Essayes
           ,
           that
           the
           ancient
           Kings
           of
           Asia
           ,
           and
           the
           Easterne
           parts
           of
           Europe
           ,
           were
           wont
           to
           be
           drawne
           in
           their
           Coaches
           with
           foure
           Oxen
           ,
           and
           that
           
             Mark
             Anthony
          
           with
           a
           Whore
           with
           him
           was
           drawne
           with
           
             Lyons
             .
             Heliogabalus
          
           the
           Empero●r
           was
           drawne
           with
           foure
           naked
           Whores
           ,
           (
           himselfe
           being
           the
           Coachman
           )
           and
           the
           Coaches
           in
           
           these
           late
           times
           (
           to
           shew
           some
           sparke
           of
           gratitude
           or
           thankfulnes
           )
           in
           remembrance
           that
           naked
           Whores
           once
           drew
           〈◊〉
           of
           them
           ,
           they
           doe
           in
           requitall
           very
           often
           carrie
           Whores
           halfe
           naked
           to
           the
           belly
           ,
           and
           gallantly
           apparelled
           ;
           besides
           only
           but
           foure
           Whores
           drew
           one
           Coach
           ,
           and
           500.
           
           Coaches
           hath
           carried
           10000.
           of
           them
           for
           it
           :
           but
           sometimes
           they
           were
           drawne
           with
           Stagges
           ,
           as
           it
           is
           the
           vse
           in
           Lapland
           at
           this
           day
           .
           The
           Emperour
           Firmus
           was
           drawne
           with
           foure
           Estridges
           ,
           and
           to
           requite
           those
           fauours
           ,
           they
           doe
           now
           often
           carrie
           men
           as
           rauenous
           as
           Lyons
           ,
           as
           well
           headed
           as
           Oxen
           or
           Stagges
           ,
           and
           as
           the
           Estridges
           did
           once
           draw
           ,
           so
           the
           feathers
           of
           them
           doe
           daily
           ride
           in
           Plumes
           and
           Fannes
           .
        
         
           In
           the
           Citie
           of
           Antwerp
           in
           Brabant
           I
           haue
           seene
           little
           Coaches
           ,
           which
           men
           send
           their
           children
           to
           Schoole
           in
           ,
           each
           of
           them
           drawne
           by
           a
           Mastiffe
           dogge
           ,
           not
           hauing
           any
           guide
           :
           for
           the
           dogge
           himselfe
           doth
           exercise
           three
           offices
           at
           one
           time
           ,
           being
           as
           the
           Horse
           to
           draw
           ,
           the
           Coachman
           to
           direct
           ,
           and
           an
           honest
           labouring
           dogge
           besides
           .
        
         
           I
           remember
           that
           in
           one
           place
           aforesaid
           ,
           I
           haue
           written
           ,
           that
           Coaches
           doe
           seldome
           carrie
           any
           dead
           things
           ,
           as
           Stones
           ,
           Timber
           ,
           Wine
           ,
           Beere
           ,
           Corne
           ,
           &c.
           
           But
           ▪
           in
           so
           writing
           I
           finde
           that
           I
           haue
           done
           many
           of
           them
           great
           wrong
           ,
           for
           I
           perceiue
           that
           they
           carrie
           oftentimes
           diuers
           sorts
           of
           Rye
           ,
           as
           Knaue-Rye
           ,
           Foole-Rye
           ,
           Leache-Rye
           ,
           Rogue-Rye
           ,
           Vsue-Rye
           ,
           Bawde-Rye
           ,
           Braue-Rye
           ,
           Slaue-Rye
           ,
           and
           Begge-Rye
           .
           Sometimes
           (
           by
           chaunce
           )
           they
           may
           hap
           to
           carrie
           good
           Husband-Rye
           ,
           and
           Housewife-Rye
           ,
           but
           
           such
           burthens
           are
           as
           scarce
           ,
           as
           money
           or
           charity
           :
           and
           one
           thing
           more
           comes
           into
           my
           minde
           about
           their
           multitude
           ,
           for
           though
           a
           Coach
           doe
           〈◊〉
           to
           be
           a
           dead
           or
           sencelesse
           thing
           ,
           yet
           when
           I
           se
           〈…〉
           consider
           how
           they
           doe
           multiply
           and
           encrease
           :
           I
           am
           doubtfull
           but
           that
           they
           are
           male
           and
           female
           ,
           and
           vse
           the
           act
           of
           generation
           or
           begetting
           ,
           or
           else
           their
           procreation
           could
           neuer
           so
           haue
           ouer-spread
           our
           Nation
           .
        
         
           To
           conclude
           ,
           a
           Coach
           may
           fitly
           be
           compared
           to
           a
           Whore
           ,
           for
           a
           Coach
           is
           painted
           ,
           so
           is
           a
           Whore
           :
           a
           Coach
           is
           common
           ,
           so
           is
           a
           Whore
           :
           a
           Coach
           is
           costly
           ,
           so
           is
           a
           Whore
           ;
           a
           Coach
           is
           drawne
           with
           beasts
           ,
           a
           Whore
           is
           drawne
           away
           with
           beastly
           Knaues
           .
           A
           Coach
           hath
           loose
           Curtaines
           ,
           a
           Whore
           hath
           a
           loose
           Gowne
           ,
           a
           Coach
           is
           lac'd
           and
           fring'd
           ,
           so
           is
           a
           Whore
           :
           A
           Coach
           may
           be
           turn'd
           any
           way
           ,
           so
           may
           a
           Whore
           :
           A
           Coach
           hath
           Bosses
           ,
           Studs
           ,
           and
           guilded
           nailes
           to
           adorne
           it
           :
           a
           Whore
           hath
           Owches
           ,
           Brooches
           ,
           Bracelets
           ,
           Chaines
           and
           Iewels
           to
           set
           her
           forth
           :
           a
           Coach
           is
           alwaies
           out
           of
           reparations
           ,
           so
           is
           a
           Whore
           :
           a
           Coach
           hath
           need
           of
           mending
           still
           ,
           so
           hath
           a
           Whore
           :
           a
           Coach
           is
           vnprofitable
           ,
           so
           is
           a
           whore
           :
           a
           Coach
           is
           superfluous
           ,
           so
           is
           a
           Whore
           :
           a
           Coach
           is
           insatiate
           ,
           so
           is
           a
           Whore
           :
           A
           Coach
           breakes
           mens
           neckes
           :
           a
           Whore
           breakes
           mens
           backes
           :
           This
           oddes
           is
           betwixt
           a
           Coach
           and
           a
           Whore
           ,
           a
           man
           will
           lend
           his
           Coach
           to
           his
           friend
           ,
           so
           will
           hee
           not
           his
           Whore
           :
           but
           any
           mans
           Whore
           will
           saue
           him
           the
           labour
           of
           lending
           her
           ;
           for
           she
           will
           lend
           her selfe
           to
           whom
           shee
           pleaseth
           .
           And
           thus
           my
           Booke
           and
           comparisons
           end
           together
           ;
           for
           thus
           much
           I
           know
           ,
           that
           I
           haue
           but
           all
           this
           while
           bark'd
           at
           the
           Moone
           ,
           
           throwne
           feathers
           against
           the
           winde
           ,
           built
           vpon
           the
           〈…〉
           ●●ackmore
           ,
           and
           laboured
           in
           vaine
           :
           〈…〉
           or
           enormitie
           hath
           pleasure
           in
           it
           ,
           〈…〉
           profit
           ,
           and
           power
           to
           defend
           it
           ,
           〈…〉
           speake
           ,
           and
           weakenesse
           may
           babble
           of
           Reformation
           ,
           though
           to
           no
           end
           :
           and
           so
           I
           end
           .
        
         
           FINIS
           .
        
         
      
    
     
  

