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         Taylor, John, 1580-1653.
      
       
         
           1631
        
      
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         26360
         
           
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             The complaint of Christmas, and the teares of Twelfetyde by Iohn Taylor.
             Taylor, John, 1580-1653.
          
           [8], 26, [5] p.
           
             Printed for Iames Boler, dwelling at the signe of the Marigold in Pauls Church-yard,
             London :
             1631.
          
           
             Signatures: A-E⁴.
             Includes: A Christmas carroll, to the tune of Poore Tom.
             Imperfect: stained with print show-through.
             Reproduction of original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery.
          
        
      
    
     
       
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         eng
      
       
         
           Christmas.
        
      
    
     
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           THE
           COMPLAINT
           OF
           CHRISTMAS
           ▪
           AND
           THE
           TEARES
           OF
           TWELFETYDE
           .
        
         
           By
           IOHN
           TAYLOR
           .
        
         
         
           LONDON
           :
        
         
           Printed
           for
           IAMES
           BOLER
           ,
           dwelling
           at
           the
           signe
           of
           the
           Marigold
           in
           Pauls
           Church-yard
           .
           1631.
           
        
      
       
         
         
         
           To
           the
           most
           mighty
           ,
           much
           vnworthy
           honored
           ,
           and
           to
           the
           
             Right
             Rich-worshipped
             disworshipped
             ,
             &
             to
             the
             al-to-much
             powerfull
             and
             respected
             ;
             the
             miserable
             Money-mongers
             &
             Mammonists
             ,
             whose
             hatefull
             habitations
             are
             within
             the
             bounds
             of
          
           Europe
           
             or
             the
             Pales
             of
          
           Christendome
           ;
           Christmas
           
             sends
             Greeting
          
           .
        
         
           TAke
           it
           as
           you
           please
           you
           Almighty
           makers
           of
           Beggers
           ,
           you
           prouokers
           of
           Theeues
           
           and
           encreasers
           of
           Vagabōds
           ;
           I
           ,
           I
           my selfe
           ,
           old
           Christmas
           (
           without
           feare
           or
           flattery
           ,
           proclaimes
           your
           base
           entertainment
           ,
           are
           you
           all
           turn'd
           Fox-fur'd
           ,
           Goldfinches
           Wolues
           ,
           Cormorants
           ,
           Caterpillers
           ,
           &
           Curmudgeans
           ?
           Hath
           the
           diuel
           &
           the
           world
           so
           besotted
           and
           bewitched
           you
           ,
           that
           you
           will
           wilfully
           spend
           your
           dayes
           miserably
           ,
           to
           end
           your
           liues
           detestedly
           ?
           will
           you
           liue
           poore
           to
           dye
           rich
           ?
           will
           you
           empty
           your
           consciences
           ,
           to
           fill
           your
           bagges
           ?
           and
           will
           you
           pinch
           your
           bellies
           to
           starue
           yoursoules
           ?
           Hee
           that
           should
           haue
           told
           mee
           for
           
           fiue
           hundred
           yeares
           ago
           ,
           that
           Christmas
           and
           Hospitalitie
           should
           haue
           bin
           thus
           vnregarded
           and
           sleighted
           ,
           I
           shold
           haue
           held
           him
           for
           a
           lying
           Prophet
           ,
           and
           a
           false
           Prognosticator
           .
           Oh
           mad
           and
           brutish
           age
           ,
           wherein
           the
           auarice
           of
           one
           is
           the
           preiudice
           of
           thousands
           ;
           when
           the
           Coach
           eates
           vp
           the
           Cart
           ,
           the
           Backe
           robs
           the
           Belly
           ,
           when
           the
           Perfumes
           ,
           crewels
           ,
           cullisses
           and
           the
           Castingbottle
           ,
           makes
           a
           warme
           Chamber
           and
           a
           cold
           Kitchin
           ;
           Know
           you
           thick
           skin'd
           Hide-bound
           
           Chuffes
           ,
           that
           you
           are
           hared
           of
           God
           &
           men
           ,
           yea
           your
           owne
           childrē
           or
           heires
           (
           for
           whom
           you
           rake
           and
           rauine
           )
           doe
           inwardly
           curse
           &
           hate
           you
           ,
           and
           know
           ,
           that
           what
           most
           vilely
           you
           get
           ouer
           the
           diuels
           backe
           ,
           your
           inheritours
           will
           as
           wickedly
           spend
           vnder
           his
           Dammes
           belly
           .
           What
           a
           shame
           it
           is
           (
           if
           you
           had
           the
           grace
           to
           see
           it
           )
           that
           you
           shold
           giue
           your
           mindes
           to
           liue
           vpon
           the
           vnnaturall
           lecherie
           and
           engendring
           of
           money
           ,
           that
           all
           the
           meate
           you
           eate
           in
           your
           
           owne
           houses
           is
           the
           accursed
           spawnes
           of
           oppression
           ,
           extortion
           ,
           bribery
           ,
           and
           insatiat
           couetousnes
           :
           and
           yet
           some
           of
           you
           keepe
           no
           houses
           at
           all
           ,
           but
           pinch
           your
           owne
           and
           your
           families
           guttes
           at
           home
           ,
           when
           at
           other
           mens
           boords
           you
           are
           tirants
           ,
           where
           you
           turne
           the
           old
           custome
           backeward
           ,
           and
           instead
           of
           keeping
           Christmas
           ,
           you
           (
           like
           droues
           )
           make
           Christmas
           keepe
           you
           ;
           but
           take
           it
           for
           a
           warning
           ,
           let
           me
           not
           finde
           it
           so
           the
           next
           yeere
           ;
           for
           if
           I
           do
           ,
           I
           will
           send
           you
           such
           guests
           as
           shall
           neuer
           forsake
           you
           ;
           
           as
           the
           Dropsie
           ,
           Gout
           ,
           collick
           ,
           the
           Stone
           ,
           &
           the
           like
           kinde
           tokens
           of
           my
           iust
           anger
           ,
           which
           you
           shall
           receiue
           as
           most
           worthy
           &
           deserued
           New-yeeres-guifts
           .
        
         
           
             Your
             friend
             or
             foe
             ,
             as
             you
             hereafter
             vse
             him
             ,
             Chritmas
             .
          
        
      
       
         
         
           
             To
             the
             most
             Right
             and
             truely
             honorable
             ,
             to
             the
             Rightly
             approued
             and
             deseruinglie
             beloued
             ,
             right
             Worshipfull
             ,
             and
             to
             the
             Rest
             of
             the
             smal
             number
             of
             Liberall
             and
             Charitable
             Houskeepers
             of
             Christendome
          
           ;
           old
           Christmas
           
             sēds
             louing
             Commendations
          
           .
        
         
           
             YOU
             that
             are
             thicke
             sowne
             and
             
             thin
             come
             vp
             ,
             as
             if
             the
             world
             were
             barren
             of
             vertue
             ,
             or
             past
             breeding
             of
             Goodnesse
             :
             you
             that
             are
             as
             rare
             as
          
           Phenixes
           ,
           
             as
             scare
             as
             black
             Swans
             or
             white
          
           Negroes
           ,
           
             and
             as
             much
             to
             be
             held
             in
             admiration
             as
             Snow
             in
          
           Iuly
           ,
           
             Strawberries
             in
          
           December
           ,
           
             the
             Sunshine
             at
          
           Midnight
           ,
           
             or
             a
             blazing
             Starre
             at
             Noone
             :
             I
             assure
             you
             my
             braue
             worthy
             Benefactors
             ,
             that
             I
             your
             ancient
             and
             yeerly
             Guest
          
           (
           Christmas
           ,
           )
           
             am
             heartily
             sorry
             to
             see
             your
             quondam
             number
             so
             much
             shrunke
             in
             the
             wetting
             ;
             and
             although
             you
             are
             falne
             into
             that
             lamentable
             consumption
             
             that
             I
             with
             my
             friends
             fauourers
             and
             followers
             can
             scarcely
             finde
             the
             tithe
             of
             my
             former
             entertainment
             :
             yet
             (
             to
             shew
             my
             thankefull
             memory
             to
             your
             worthy
             predecessors
             ,
             )
             with
             my
             gratefulnesse
             to
             you
             (
             too
             few
             )
             that
             are
             suruiuers
             ,
             and
             to
             encourage
             a
             fruitfull
             Spring
             ,
             enease
             or
             multiplication
             of
             your
             successors
             .
             I
             send
             to
             you
             this
             my
             louing
             &
             friendly
             Epistle
             .
             
               You
            
             in
             your
             discetions
             ,
             hold
             the
             commendable
             and
             golden
             meane
             way
             betwixt
             the
             two
             extreame
             
             Gulphs
             of
             Niggerality
             and
             prodegality
             ,
             betwixt
             Hunger
             &
             Gluttony
             ,
             betwixt
          
           Hide
           all
           &
           Spend
           all
           ,
           
             betwixt
             wilful
             Slauery
             and
             wastefull
             Brauery
             .
             I
             wish
             most
             vnfeignedly
             that
             the
             dew
             of
             Heauen
             may
             descend
             blessedly
             ,
             that
             you
             may
             fructifie
             ,
             multiply
             fruitfully
             ,
             encrease
             and
             ampliffe
             ,
             like
             the
             tree
             which
          
           Nabuchadnezar
           
             drempt
             of
             ,
             whose
             toppe
             reach'd
             to
             Heauen
             ,
             and
             whose
             branches
             extended
             and
             stretch'd
             to
             the
             ends
             of
             the
             Earth
             :
             you
             haue
             the
             Celestiall
             Graces
             ;
             your
          
           Hope
           
             is
             constant
             ,
             
             your
          
           Faith
           
             is
             feruent
             ,
             your
          
           Charity
           
             is
             frequent
             :
             your
          
           Hope
           
             is
             in
             assurance
             of
             that
             neuer
             faiing
             possession
             wherein
             the
             vnblasted
             tree
             of
             your
          
           Faith
           
             is
             firmely
             fixed
             and
             rooted
             ;
             and
             your
             Charity
             is
             the
             pious
             fruit
             which
             springs
             from
             that
             faithfull
             Tree
             .
             And
             he
             that
             with
             his
             Grace
             doth
             plant
             it
             ,
             water
             it
             ,
             and
             cause
             it
             to
             increase
             ,
             will
             crowne
             his
             own
             gifts
             on
             your
             heads
             ,
             that
             are
             his
             beloued
             instruments
             ;
             not
             onely
             here
             ,
             with
             blessings
             transitory
             and
             temporall
             ,
             but
             hereafter
             with
             that
             vnspeakable
             
             glory
             which
             was
             ,
             is
             ,
             and
             shall
             bee
             permanent
             and
             Eternall
             .
          
        
         
           
             Yours
             in
             the
             best
             of
             friendship
             ,
             Christmas
             .
          
        
      
       
         
         
           To
           the
           Profuse
           Sardanapallitanians
           ,
           most
           famous
           Infamous
           Heliogabalonians
           ,
           the
           compleat
           companie
           of
           Cockbrain'd
           whimsie-pated
           Gul-Gallants
           ,
           the
           intēperate
           prodigals
           and
           abusiuely
           nick-nam'd
           and
           cald
           either
           Honorable
           ,
           worshipful
           honest
           ,
           wise
           ,
           or
           any
           stile
           or
           title
           that
           hath
           a
           relish
           of
           Commendations
           .
        
         
           
             BRaue
             Sparks
             haue
             amōgst
             you
             ,
             though
          
           
           Christmas
           
             be
             old
             ,
             yet
             you
             shall
             perceiue
             that
             hee
             neither
             feares
             your
             Toledoes
             ,
             Bilboes
             ,
             or
             
               Steelettoes
            
             ;
             I
             know
             that
             each
             of
             you
             haue
             more
             shadow
             than
             substāce
             ,
             more
             tongue
             than
             truth
             ,
             and
             more
             haire
             than
             wit
             ,
             though
             many
             of
             you
             be
             bald
             or
             beardlesse
             .
             You
             that
             haue
             
               Ror'd
            
             away
             your
             Land
             ,
             Whor'd
             away
             your
             money
             ,
             and
             Scor'd
             away
             your
             credits
             ;
             that
             with
             often
             vnnaturall
             going
             to
             bed
             at
             Sun-rising
             ,
             and
             rising
             at
             supper
             time
             to
             breakefast
             ,
             by
             turning
             the
             course
             of
             time
             out
             of
             his
             natural
             circumuolution
             ;
             as
             the
             day
             into
             night
             ,
             and
             the
             night
             into
             day
             ,
             like
             Owles
             ,
             Bats
             ,
             
             and
             Glowormes
             ,
             are
             monsters
             against
             nature
             ,
             that
             pay
             more
             for
             the
             maring
             of
             your
             clothes
             ,
             then
             for
             the
             making
             ,
             giuing
             twice
             as
             much
             for
             the
             cutting
             as
             for
             the
             sowing
             ;
             whose
             exercise
             is
             drinking
             and
             dicing
             ,
             and
             whose
             grace
             is
             swearing
             ;
             who
             entertaine
             old
          
           Christmas
           
             with
             Gluttony
             and
             Ebriety
             ,
             with
             the
             ill
             gotten
             expences
             of
             thieuery
             ,
             cheating
             ,
             vnthristy
             borrowing
             ,
             vnmeasurable
             exhausting
             ,
             vnmercifull
             oppressing
             ,
             or
             any
             vnlawfull
             obtaining
             ;
             Know
             ,
             all
             the
             whole
             kennell
             
             or
             litter
             of
             you
             ,
             that
             I
             scorne
             you
             and
             your
             surfeiting
             welcome
             :
             let
             me
             perswade
             you
             to
             be
             wiser
             hereafter
             ,
             and
             not
             to
             keepe
             mee
             company
             in
             such
             prodigall
             manner
             ,
             that
             you
             must
             be
             forced
             to
             fare
             the
             worse
             all
             the
             yeere
             after
             :
             Let
             it
             not
             bee
             imputed
             to
             mee
             ,
             that
             I
             and
             my
             company
             did
             in
             twelue
             dayes
             ,
             eate
             vp
             that
             which
             shold
             haue
             lasted
             365.
             
             The
             old
             Prouerb
             saith
          
           Enough
           is
           a
           feast
           ,
           
             and
             as
             you
             loue
             to
             feast
             ,
             so
             haue
             no
             more
             then
             enough
             ,
             lest
             to
             much
             feasting
             perforce
             ,
             doe
             
             breed
             and
             engender
             to
             much
             fasting
             spight
             of
             your
             teeth
             .
             Finally
             ,
             Know
             ,
             that
             I
             doe
             come
             euery
             yeere
             in
             memory
             of
             a
             great
             blessing
             ,
             and
             I
             would
             not
             haue
             your
             wastefull
             profusenesse
             to
             turne
             that
             blessed
          
           time
           
             of
             Remembrance
             into
             an
             accursed
             vse
             of
             impious
             blasphemie
             ,
             and
             worse
             then
             Heathenish
             ,
             Paganish
             ,
             Bacchanalliall
             Beastiallitie
             .
             So
             wishing
             euery
             of
             you
             to
             vse
             your
             best
             endeuours
             each
             one
             to
             mend
             one
             ,
             I
             leaue
             you
             till
             the
             next
             yeere
             ,
             in
             small
             hope
             to
             haue
             
             my
             request
             granted
             .
          
        
         
           
             No
             way
             your
             friend
             ,
             till
             you
             mend
             your
             manners
             ,
             Christmas
             .
          
        
      
    
     
       
         
         
           THE
           COMPLAINT
           OF
           CHRISTMAS
           .
        
         
           ABout
           that
           time
           of
           the
           yeare
           when
           Skiegilding
           ,
           and
           Earth-polishing
           
             Don
             Phoebus
          
           had
           (
           like
           a
           skilfull
           Clothworker
           )
           stretch'd
           the
           nights
           vpon
           the
           longest
           Tenterhookes
           of
           time
           ,
           and
           
             curtold
          
           the
           dayes
           to
           the
           coldest
           abreuiation
           ,
           or
           a
           briefe
           coldnesse
           ,
           (
           an
           embleme
           of
           frozen
           charity
           :
           )
           I
           ,
           Christmas
           ,
           according
           to
           my
           old
           custome
           of
           1600.
           yeares
           standing
           ,
           visited
           the
           world
           ;
           and
           like
           a
           quick
           Post
           ,
           riding
           vpon
           the
           wings
           of
           full
           speed
           ,
           in
           ten
           dayes
           space
           I
           haunted
           the
           most
           Kingdomes
           and
           Climates
           of
           the
           Christian
           world
           .
           I
           was
           in
           the
           stewing-Stoues
           of
           Russia
           ,
           Muscouia
           ,
           Pollonia
           ,
           Sweauia
           ,
           Hungaria
           ,
           Austria
           ,
           Bohemia
           ,
           Germania
           ,
           and
           so
           many
           other
           num-cold
           teeth-gnashing
           Regions
           ,
           that
           if
           I
           should
           name
           them
           all
           ,
           I
           should
           strike
           the
           Readers
           into
           such
           a
           shiuering
           ,
           and
           indanger
           their
           wits
           and
           bounties
           with
           a
           perpetuall
           dead
           palfie
           or
           Apoplexie
           :
           In
           the
           most
           of
           these
           places
           my
           cheere
           and
           entertainment
           was
           Pilchards
           ,
           Anchouies
           ,
           Pickled-Herring
           ,
           white
           and
           red
           dried
           Sprats
           ,
           Neats
           tongues
           ,
           Stock
           fish
           ,
           hang'd
           Beefe
           ,
           Mutton
           ,
           raw
           Bacon
           ,
           Brand-wine
           ,
           (
           alias
           Aqua
           vitae
           )
           Tantablins
           ,
           durty
           Puddings
           ,
           and
           Flapdraggons
           sowsd
           and
           carowsd
           
           with
           Balderdash
           .
           Indeed
           most
           of
           their
           diet
           is
           so
           well
           seasoned
           ,
           that
           the
           men
           doe
           naturally
           sweat
           salt
           ,
           and
           the
           women
           doe
           weepe
           brine
           :
           and
           I
           noted
           that
           they
           neuer
           watered
           either
           their
           saltest
           fish
           or
           flesh
           in
           any
           other
           vessels
           than
           their
           bellies
           ,
           which
           was
           an
           exceeding
           policie
           to
           vent
           their
           Mault
           ,
           and
           a
           stratagem
           to
           make
           Saltpeeter
           of
           their
           Vrin.
           
        
         
           In
           Spain
           and
           Italy
           I
           was
           welcom'd
           in
           many
           great
           Dons
           and
           Magnificoes
           houses
           ,
           with
           three
           Alphabets
           of
           sallads
           at
           one
           meale
           ,
           but
           all
           the
           meat
           vpon
           fiue
           of
           their
           tables
           would
           scarce
           giue
           a
           zealous
           Puritan
           his
           supper
           on
           good
           Friday
           .
           I
           haue
           seene
           a
           hungry
           Signeor
           or
           Clarissimo
           eat
           a
           trusse
           of
           Sampheir
           ,
           with
           his
           forke
           like
           a
           Prenge
           or
           Pitchsorke
           tossing
           it
           into
           the
           hay-loft
           of
           his
           chaps
           ,
           as
           if
           his
           mouth
           had
           beene
           an
           Hostry
           :
           In
           a
           word
           ,
           I
           perceiued
           that
           what
           either
           the
           Italian
           or
           Spaniard
           doth
           want
           in
           glu●tony
           and
           drunkennesse
           ,
           he
           takes
           out
           his
           share
           in
           pride
           and
           lechery
           with
           more
           extortion
           than
           threescore
           in
           the
           hundred
           .
           So
           (
           amongst
           their
           multiplicity
           of
           sawces
           )
           I
           leaue
           them
           like
           sawcie
           companions
           .
        
         
           Being
           at
           Rome
           I
           was
           mightily
           feasted
           ,
           for
           they
           thought
           nothing
           too
           hot
           ,
           too
           heauy
           ,
           or
           too
           deare
           for
           me
           :
           I
           met
           there
           with
           no
           sects
           of
           dull
           or
           cinicall
           
             Diogenasses
          
           ,
           there
           was
           no
           parsimonious
           banquets
           ,
           or
           Phylosophicall
           kinde
           of
           feasting
           ,
           I
           found
           not
           a
           man
           that
           was
           not
           halfe
           a
           Doctor
           ,
           and
           was
           well
           skild
           in
           Kitching
           Physicke
           ,
           and
           they
           knew
           that
           roots
           and
           fountaine
           water
           would
           breed
           Crudities
           ,
           therefore
           if
           they
           eat
           any
           ,
           it
           was
           Potatoes
           ,
           Skerrets
           ,
           or
           Eringoes
           ,
           bak'd
           with
           the
           lushious
           pulpe
           ,
           p●●
           or
           linings
           of
           the
           marrow-bones
           of
           hee
           Goats
           ,
           or
           lusty
           Rammes
           .
        
         
           Vitellius
           or
           
             Helliogabalus
          
           could
           not
           haue
           bid
           mee
           better
           welcome
           than
           those
           charitable
           minded
           men
           did
           :
           I
           mused
           at
           it
           ;
           but
           at
           last
           I
           considered
           that
           his
           holinesse
           with
           all
           his
           Cardinals
           and
           Clergie
           ,
           were
           like
           Millers
           ,
           and
           had
           toll
           out
           of
           all
           the
           kingdomes
           of
           Christendome
           ,
           and
           that
           they
           had
           Mines
           of
           gold
           and
           siluer
           in
           Purgatory
           ,
           (
           and
           it
           is
           thought
           
           that
           the
           Philosophers
           stone
           is
           there
           ,
           )
           which
           was
           more
           safely
           brought
           into
           the
           treasury
           ,
           than
           the
           King
           of
           Spaines
           Ships
           can
           come
           from
           the
           West
           Indies
           ,
           (
           for
           Purgatory
           is
           a
           Country
           which
           the
           Sea-sowsd
           pickled
           Hollander
           neuer
           yet
           discouered
           .
           )
           Indeed
           we
           did
           out-Epicure
           the
           Epicure
           ,
           and
           made
           Epicurisme
           seeme
           sobriety
           ,
           both
           in
           meat
           ,
           musicke
           ,
           perfumes
           ,
           masques
           ,
           or
           any
           thing
           that
           might
           with
           delight
           fill
           the
           fiue
           senses
           ,
           or
           cinque-ports
           of
           man.
           
        
         
           For
           recreation
           I
           went
           to
           visit
           the
           leane
           Carthusian
           Friers
           ,
           whom
           I
           no
           sooner
           beheld
           ,
           but
           me
           thought
           I
           saw
           so
           many
           Deaths
           heads
           ,
           or
           
             Memento
             mories
          
           ,
           a
           man
           might
           haue
           told
           their
           ribs
           like
           so
           many
           ragged
           laths
           ,
           their
           looks
           were
           almost
           as
           sharp
           as
           a
           hatchet
           ;
           a
           good
           Anatomist
           might
           haue
           discerned
           them
           onely
           by
           the
           eye
           without
           incision
           :
           For
           how
           could
           it
           be
           otherwise
           with
           them
           ,
           that
           all
           their
           whole
           life
           time
           feed
           vpon
           flegmaticke
           fish
           ;
           fish
           ,
           fish
           ,
           nothing
           but
           fish
           .
           Sometimes
           perhaps
           they
           tasted
           Cauiare
           ,
           
             Potathoes
          
           ,
           or
           Anchouies
           ,
           which
           they
           renc'd
           downe
           with
           the
           suds
           of
           Sacke
           :
           Then
           they
           had
           Almond
           Butter
           ,
           a
           few
           blew
           Figges
           ,
           and
           Reisins
           of
           the
           Sunne
           to
           make
           vp
           a
           starueling
           meale
           ;
           but
           I
           obseru'd
           one
           thing
           in
           this
           Frier
           whom
           I
           fasted
           withall
           ,
           he
           would
           eat
           no
           poore
           Iohn
           ,
           or
           offer
           to
           catch
           a
           Ling
           by
           the
           Pole
           ,
           but
           he
           lou'd
           a
           well
           growne
           Place
           exceeding
           well
           ▪
           prouided
           ,
           it
           were
           well
           buttered
           :
           he
           neuer
           would
           goe
           to
           bed
           without
           a
           Cods
           head
           ,
           for
           Maids
           hee
           fed
           hungerly
           vpon
           them
           ,
           but
           as
           for
           Soles
           hee
           trod
           them
           vnder
           his
           fect
           .
           Hee
           gaue
           me
           a
           dish
           of
           fish
           ,
           drest
           (
           as
           he
           said
           )
           with
           the
           same
           oyle
           that
           was
           made
           of
           the
           Oliues
           that
           grew
           vpon
           Mount
           Oliuet
           the
           last
           time
           my
           great
           Lord
           and
           Master
           was
           there
           ▪
           which
           I
           beleeu'd
           to
           be
           as
           true
           as
           Saint
           
             Iohn
             Baptist
          
           had
           two
           heads
           ,
           or
           Saint
           Dennis
           hauing
           his
           owne
           head
           cut
           off
           ,
           did
           take
           it
           vp
           in
           his
           hands
           and
           carry
           it
           more
           than
           a
           mile
           .
           I
           gaue
           my
           Frier
           the
           hearing
           ,
           and
           the
           eating
           of
           some
           of
           his
           fish
           to
           boot
           ,
           but
           I
           was
           very
           parsimonious
           and
           frugall
           of
           beleefe
           ,
           and
           indeed
           I
           could
           not
           spare
           or
           affoord
           him
           any
           .
        
         
         
           At
           last
           I
           grew
           so
           bold
           with
           him
           ,
           with
           whom
           I
           dined
           that
           day
           ,
           as
           to
           aske
           him
           the
           reason
           why
           he
           and
           the
           rest
           of
           his
           order
           did
           neuer
           eat
           flesh
           ;
           he
           answered
           me
           ,
           that
           it
           was
           in
           honour
           of
           S.
           Peter
           ,
           because
           he
           was
           a
           fisher-man
           :
           by
           the
           same
           substantiall
           reason
           ,
           I
           repli'd
           you
           might
           (
           for
           the
           honor
           of
           S.
           Paul
           )
           dwell
           in
           Tents
           ,
           for
           he
           was
           a
           tent-maker
           .
           But
           there
           is
           a
           great
           mystery
           ,
           or
           misery
           in
           it
           ,
           that
           men
           should
           hold
           opinion
           that
           a
           man
           cannot
           go
           towards
           heauen
           with
           as
           good
           a
           conscience
           hauing
           the
           leg
           or
           wing
           of
           a
           Capon
           in
           his
           belly
           ,
           as
           he
           might
           doe
           with
           the
           Cob
           of
           a
           red
           Herring
           .
           For
           Reuerend
           Sir
           ,
           quoth
           I
           ,
           you
           are
           a
           carnall
           man
           though
           you
           eat
           nothing
           but
           fish
           ,
           for
           you
           must
           vnderstand
           that
           there
           is
           
             a
             flesh
             of
             fishes
          
           :
           besides
           ,
           as
           there
           are
           beasts
           on
           the
           land
           ,
           so
           
           there
           is
           a
           Sea-horse
           ,
           a
           Sea-calfe
           ,
           a
           Sea-oxe
           ,
           and
           the
           like
           ;
           and
           further
           you
           know
           ,
           
             That
             whatsoeuer
             goes
             into
             the
             mouth
             doth
             not
             defile
             the
             man
             :
          
           but
           he
           would
           not
           heare
           on
           that
           side
           ,
           but
           praied
           me
           to
           feed
           and
           stop
           my
           mouth
           of
           such
           as
           the
           blessed
           Virgin
           and
           the
           Saints
           had
           sent
           him
           ,
           (
           indeed
           I
           heard
           him
           not
           talke
           of
           God
           at
           all
           .
           )
           So
           my
           belly
           being
           more
           full
           of
           his
           talke
           than
           his
           cheere
           ,
           I
           tooke
           my
           leaue
           thankfully
           of
           him
           ,
           bidding
           him
           heartily
           farewell
           ,
           which
           he
           could
           hardly
           do●
           hauing
           no
           better
           diet
           .
        
         
           In
           France
           I
           found
           a
           great
           deale
           more
           meat
           and
           lese
           sawce
           ,
           but
           the
           most
           part
           of
           the
           Mounsiers
           were
           sawcie
           enough
           of
           themselues
           .
           Indeed
           the
           entertainment
           I
           had
           there
           ,
           made
           me
           halfe
           amazed
           ;
           for
           I
           thought
           the
           people
           themselues
           had
           beene
           so
           many
           sacrifices
           to
           me
           ,
           the
           men
           (
           for
           the
           most
           part
           )
           the
           Gallants
           I
           meane
           ,
           were
           in
           the
           most
           bitterest
           of
           winter
           cut
           and
           slash'd
           and
           carbonadoed
           into
           Rashers
           ,
           Collops
           ,
           Steakes
           ,
           and
           Spitchcocks
           ;
           that
           it
           was
           no
           more
           but
           cast
           a
           handfull
           of
           salt
           vpon
           a
           Gentleman
           ,
           and
           hee
           was
           ready
           for
           the
           broyling
           .
           Their
           Pride
           would
           haue
           out-fac'd
           the
           cold
           of
           Caucausus
           ;
           nay
           ,
           had
           they
           beene
           vnder
           the
           frozen
           Zone
           ,
           they
           would
           haue
           shewed
           their
           linnen
           thorow
           the
           sippers
           of
           their
           sleeues
           ,
           breasts
           and
           sholders
           ,
           the
           heat
           of
           the
           fashion
           warm'd
           them
           ,
           although
           their
           teeth
           chatterd
           in
           their
           heads
           .
        
         
         
           The
           women
           were
           well-fac'd
           creatures
           ,
           (
           but
           like
           our
           melancholly
           Gentlemen
           ,
           who
           are
           in
           danger
           of
           a
           man-catching
           Serieant
           )
           they
           seem'd
           afraid
           to
           shew
           their
           faces
           ,
           and
           therefore
           they
           hid
           their
           heads
           in
           blacke
           bagges
           ,
           like
           Lawyers
           declarations
           ;
           the
           difference
           is
           ,
           that
           the
           Ladies
           bagge
           is
           silke
           ,
           and
           the
           Lawyers
           Buckrum
           .
        
         
           There
           euery
           Peasant
           keepes
           his
           wife
           like
           a
           Hawke
           (
           for
           they
           all
           weare
           Hoods
           )
           and
           a
           paire
           of
           old
           English
           Boots
           will
           hood
           a
           brace
           of
           them
           from
           generation
           to
           generation
           :
           and
           I
           obseru'd
           that
           the
           miserable
           Country
           people
           durst
           not
           eat
           their
           o
           wne
           Beefe
           or
           Mutton
           (
           except
           the
           tripes
           and
           offall
           )
           for
           there
           is
           a
           penalty
           laid
           vpon
           them
           if
           they
           bring
           not
           their
           best
           to
           the
           Markets
           ,
           either
           of
           Beast
           or
           Bird
           ;
           the
           Gallant
           Mounsiers
           haue
           a
           prerogatiue
           to
           haue
           all
           the
           Geese
           ,
           Guls
           ,
           and
           Woodcocks
           that
           the
           Country
           yeelds
           ,
           the
           Buzzards
           ,
           Widgeons
           ,
           and
           Cuckooes
           are
           for
           the
           Cities
           diet
           onely
           ,
           but
           the
           Partridge
           ,
           Pheasant
           and
           Peacocke
           are
           Courtiers
           .
        
         
           I
           had
           almost
           forgotten
           some
           particularities
           which
           I
           obferued
           in
           Germany
           ,
           for
           I
           perceiued
           they
           had
           beene
           mad
           Gamesters
           at
           vi'd
           Ruffe
           almost
           ouer
           all
           the
           Empire
           :
           the
           most
           of
           them
           had
           wrangled
           and
           played
           foule
           play
           ,
           for
           Hypocrisie
           ,
           and
           Cruelty
           cut
           ,
           Ambition
           rubd
           ,
           and
           Oppression
           wonne
           the
           game
           ,
           whilest
           Royall
           and
           reall
           Vertues
           were
           meerely
           cheated
           and
           abused
           :
           Clubs
           being
           trump
           wanne
           the
           Sett
           by
           fraud
           and
           force
           ,
           the
           Spades
           and
           Diamonds
           assisting
           them
           ,
           so
           that
           the
           Harts
           onely
           suffered
           ,
           whilest
           Kingdomes
           ,
           Principalities
           ,
           and
           many
           faire
           Lordships
           lay
           at
           stake
           for
           't
           .
        
         
           Descending
           into
           the
           Low-Countries
           ,
           or
           Netherlands
           ,
           the
           Dutch
           States
           feasted
           mee
           in
           state
           ;
           and
           comming
           to
           Amsterdam
           ,
           where
           there
           are
           almost
           as
           many
           heresies
           as
           Nations
           ,
           I
           was
           indifferently
           bid
           welcome
           by
           most
           of
           the
           Sectaries
           ,
           but
           I
           was
           most
           villainously
           vs'd
           (
           rather
           abus'd
           )
           by
           a
           prick-ear'd
           Puritan
           ,
           whose
           beard
           was
           warp'd
           like
           greene
           Wainscot
           ,
           or
           a
           capitall
           S.
           (
           I
           thinke
           it
           stood
           as
           many
           wayes
           as
           a
           Sea-mans
           Compasse
           .
           )
           Hee
           was
           a
           Cobler
           on
           
           Translater
           by
           his
           trade
           ;
           and
           comming
           to
           him
           I
           found
           his
           shop
           open
           ,
           and
           he
           a
           mending
           of
           a
           bad
           or
           wicked
           soale
           of
           a
           zealous
           sisters
           who
           had
           often
           trod
           awry
           ,
           and
           his
           brotherly
           function
           was
           to
           patch
           or
           peece
           her
           vpright
           ;
           but
           in
           sincerity
           I
           perceiued
           the
           Cobler
           was
           crafty
           ,
           and
           wrought
           altogether
           to
           his
           owne
           ends
           .
           I
           mused
           at
           his
           little
           respect
           of
           me
           ,
           because
           he
           was
           at
           worke
           ,
           and
           telling
           him
           that
           I
           was
           come
           to
           dine
           with
           him
           ,
           and
           keepe
           Holy-day
           :
           hee
           ask'd
           me
           my
           name
           ,
           and
           I
           told
           him
           my
           name
           was
           Christmas
           .
           At
           the
           very
           name
           of
           Masse
           ,
           he
           leap'd
           from
           me
           like
           a
           Squirrell
           ,
           as
           nimbly
           as
           if
           he
           had
           had
           neither
           gut
           in
           his
           belly
           ,
           or
           stone
           in
           his
           breech
           .
           And
           hauing
           recouered
           himselfe
           ,
           hee
           stop'd
           both
           his
           eares
           ,
           for
           feare
           my
           name
           the
           second
           time
           should
           strike
           him
           :
           hee
           told
           me
           that
           the
           Masse
           was
           prophane
           ,
           and
           so
           were
           all
           the
           dayes
           in
           the
           yeare
           that
           ended
           with
           the
           word
           Masse
           ,
           as
           Candle
           -
           masse
           ,
           Lam
           -
           
             masse
             ,
             Michael
             -
             
               masse
               ,
            
             ,
             Martle-masse
             ,
          
           and
           that
           some
           Papist
           had
           beene
           my
           Godfather
           ;
           therefore
           he
           would
           haue
           nothing
           to
           doe
           with
           mee
           .
           It
           is
           abomination
           (
           said
           he
           )
           and
           the
           mimicke
           solemnizing
           of
           this
           hell-borne
           superstition
           was
           borrowed
           (
           or
           stolne
           )
           from
           the
           Heathens
           ;
           therefore
           there
           was
           one
           said
           well
           when
           hee
           called
           the
           Synagogue
           ,
           or
           finfull
           Assembly
           ,
           or
           frie
           of
           Friers
           at
           the
           Masse
           ,
           the
           kingdome
           of
           Apes
           ,
           for
           there
           is
           such
           mopping
           and
           mowing
           ,
           such
           crossing
           and
           creeping
           ,
           such
           ducking
           and
           nodding
           ,
           that
           any
           reasonable
           man
           would
           thinke
           they
           
             were
          
           mad
           ;
           besides
           ,
           the
           Priest
           hath
           more
           postures
           than
           six
           Fencers
           ,
           as
           if
           he
           were
           at
           quarter-staffe
           with
           his
           Breaden
           god
           ,
           that
           I
           am
           perswaded
           the
           God
           of
           heauen
           hold
           them
           in
           derision
           ,
           and
           their
           Seruice
           to
           be
           rather
           masquing
           or
           mummery
           than
           Diuine
           ;
           therefore
           ,
           I
           say
           ,
           the
           Masse
           is
           prophane
           ,
           and
           so
           art
           thou
           ,
           therefore
           with
           me
           thou
           gett'st
           no
           entertainment
           .
        
         
           Thus
           was
           poore
           Christmas
           welcom'd
           like
           
             Iacke
             Drum
          
           and
           thrust
           out
           of
           doores
           ;
           yet
           I
           suspected
           his
           hypocriticality
           spake
           at
           us
           inuectiuely
           against
           the
           Masse
           ,
           that
           he
           might
           (
           with
           the
           more
           cunning
           and
           lesse
           suspect
           )
           defend
           what
           was
           
           ill
           in
           himselfe
           and
           be
           held
           the
           more
           deuout
           ,
           (
           much
           like
           as
           one
           Whore
           or
           Theefe
           should
           reuile
           and
           scandall
           another
           )
           for
           howsoeuer
           he
           prated
           ,
           I
           thought
           him
           a
           Rascall
           ,
           that
           would
           imploy
           himselfe
           about
           his
           trade
           on
           such
           a
           day
           as
           was
           celebrated
           in
           the
           memory
           of
           the
           birth
           of
           our
           glorious
           Redeemer
           ,
           God
           and
           Man
           ,
           
             Iesus
             Christ
          
           ,
           which
           was
           the
           happiest
           day
           that
           mortality
           euer
           beheld
           :
           for
           in
           our
           Creation
           God
           shewed
           his
           power
           ,
           but
           in
           our
           Redemption
           his
           vnspeakeable
           loue
           and
           mercy
           :
           therefore
           this
           day
           should
           bee
           kept
           holy
           in
           remembrance
           of
           him
           that
           is
           the
           Holy
           of
           Holiest
           .
        
         
           That
           day
           wee
           haue
           escaped
           any
           danger
           ,
           we
           celebrate
           with
           all
           ioy
           and
           mirth
           ,
           and
           shall
           this
           day
           bee
           put
           to
           prophane
           vses
           whereon
           our
           inestimable
           ransome
           was
           giuen
           vs
           ,
           that
           on
           this
           day
           put
           on
           mortality
           to
           make
           vs
           immortall
           ,
           that
           on
           this
           blessed
           day
           did
           put
           off
           his
           vnspeakable
           glory
           ,
           and
           put
           on
           our
           insupportable
           misery
           ,
           thereby
           to
           make
           vs
           eternally
           glorious
           ;
           that
           on
           this
           day
           came
           to
           conquer
           and
           confound
           the
           power
           of
           our
           conquerors
           ,
           Sinne
           ,
           Death
           ,
           and
           Hell
           ,
           and
           to
           free
           vs
           from
           perpetuall
           malediction
           .
        
         
           Saint
           Austin
           (
           that
           blessed
           
             Lamb
          
           ,
           and
           Angelicall
           Doctor
           of
           the
           Church
           )
           did
           with
           great
           thankfulnes
           celebrate
           his
           birth-day
           ,
           saying
           ,
           
             Let
             vs
             so
             celebrate
             the
             day
             of
             our
             births
             ,
             that
             wee
             may
             giue
             thankes
             to
             God
             who
             :
             would
             haue
             vs
             to
             be
             borne
             that
             wee
             might
             be
             consecrated
             to
             himselfe
             .
          
        
         
           Also
           Pharaoh
           and
           Herod
           did
           not
           omit
           the
           celebration
           of
           the
           dayes
           of
           their
           natiuities
           .
           At
           the
           birth
           of
           a
           young
           Prince
           the
           Bels
           doe
           clamour
           the
           ioy
           of
           the
           people
           ,
           the
           great
           Ordnance
           doe
           thunder
           out
           their
           reioycings
           ,
           the
           Bonefires
           doe
           manifest
           mens
           feruent
           affections
           :
           Why
           not
           then
           on
           this
           happiest
           day
           ,
           whereon
           our
           chiefest
           happinesse
           came
           ,
           this
           great
           day
           when
           the
           Angell
           of
           the
           great
           Counsell
           came
           to
           make
           our
           eternall
           peace
           betweene
           God
           and
           man
           ;
           oh
           let
           vs
           then
           for
           his
           sake
           be
           merry
           in
           God
           ,
           and
           charitable
           to
           our
           neighbours
           ,
           let
           vs
           feast
           with
           thankfulnesse
           ,
           and
           
             releeue
          
           
           with
           alacrity
           those
           impouerish'd
           members
           ,
           of
           whom
           our
           gloriour
           Redeemer
           is
           the
           head
           .
        
         
           But
           you
           Master
           Confusion
           the
           Puritan
           ,
           who
           are
           a
           Weathercocke
           ,
           Shittlecocke
           ,
           a
           right
           Laodician
           ,
           neither
           hot
           or
           cold
           ,
           fit
           to
           be
           cast
           out
           of
           all
           good
           society
           of
           Christendome
           ,
           or
           to
           be
           perpetually
           Amster-damnified
           into
           Holland
           ;
           your
           sincerity
           being
           void
           of
           verity
           ;
           your
           Faith
           vnfruitfull
           of
           good
           works
           ,
           your
           Hope
           Innouation
           ,
           your
           Charity
           Inuifible
           ,
           or
           like
           a
           
             Noune
             Adiectiue
          
           ,
           not
           to
           be
           seene
           ,
           felt
           ,
           heard
           ,
           or
           vnderstood
           .
        
         
           I
           arriued
           in
           England
           the
           25.
           of
           December
           ,
           about
           one
           of
           the
           clocke
           in
           the
           morning
           ,
           where
           I
           was
           no
           sooner
           landed
           ,
           but
           (
           as
           old
           as
           I
           was
           )
           I
           cut
           a
           caper
           for
           ioy
           ,
           assuring
           my selfe
           that
           I
           was
           now
           in
           my
           ancient
           Harbour
           or
           heauen
           of
           happinesse
           ,
           in
           the
           Eden
           of
           the
           Earth
           ,
           the
           Paradice
           of
           Terrestriall
           Peace
           ,
           Plenty
           and
           Pleasure
           ,
           the
           most
           fruitfull
           Garden
           of
           the
           rotundious
           Globe
           ,
           the
           comfortable
           Canaan
           ,
           that
           flowest
           with
           Milke
           and
           Hony.
           And
           as
           thou
           (
           O
           England
           )
           hast
           euer
           giuen
           old
           Christmas
           (
           with
           his
           twelue
           Holy-day
           Seruingmen
           )
           good
           entertainment
           ,
           with
           such
           cheere
           ,
           hospitality
           ,
           and
           welcome
           ,
           as
           the
           Christian
           world
           neuer
           hath
           done
           the
           like
           .
           So
           (
           I
           obseruing
           the
           ancient
           Prouerbe
           )
           where
           I
           was
           wont
           to
           fare
           well
           am
           come
           againe
           .
        
         
           I
           hauing
           beene
           foure
           houres
           wrapt
           in
           this
           extasie
           of
           ioy
           of
           my
           safe
           landing
           ,
           at
           last
           I
           heard
           Master
           Chantecleere
           (
           the
           nights
           liuing
           Clocke
           ,
           or
           Cocke
           ,
           and
           the
           dayes
           dyall
           )
           with
           the
           care-piercing
           clang
           of
           his
           Horne-trumpet
           ,
           crow
           out
           a
           Proclamation
           of
           the
           approach
           of
           Aurora
           ;
           which
           I
           was
           glad
           to
           heare
           ,
           for
           poore
           Christmas
           was
           as
           cold
           as
           a
           Snow-ball
           .
           Day
           being
           risen
           out
           of
           his
           orientall
           bed
           (
           the
           blacke
           Curtaines
           of
           the
           night
           being
           drawne
           )
           I
           look'd
           vp
           and
           downe
           the
           Country
           to
           see
           into
           which
           house
           I
           should
           goe
           first
           ,
           for
           I
           saw
           many
           faire
           houses
           which
           I
           had
           often
           beene
           well
           entertained
           at
           ;
           but
           I
           could
           perceiue
           no
           doores
           open
           no
           lights
           thorow
           the
           windowes
           ,
           or
           smoake
           from
           the
           Chimnies
           ,
           which
           made
           mee
           doubtfull
           where
           I
           was
           .
           My
           
           poore
           twelue
           old
           fellowes
           were
           halfe
           frozen
           with
           feare
           and
           amazement
           ,
           till
           (
           by
           meere
           fortune
           )
           I
           spi'd
           a
           swarme
           of
           Beggers
           ,
           who
           made
           towards
           vs
           ,
           bidding
           vs
           very
           welcome
           ,
           saying
           ,
           they
           had
           mist
           vs
           long
           ,
           acknowledging
           themselues
           beholding
           to
           vs
           all
           ,
           but
           chiefly
           to
           me
           .
        
         
           Not
           much
           to
           me
           (
           quoth
           I
           )
           but
           I
           remember
           there
           is
           a
           Lords
           of
           the
           Mannours
           house
           at
           the
           end
           of
           this
           Village
           ,
           I
           will
           goe
           thither
           ,
           and
           doe
           you
           come
           after
           me
           ,
           and
           anon
           I
           will
           giue
           you
           your
           bellies
           full
           of
           good
           cheere
           .
           So
           the
           Beggers
           and
           I
           parted
           ,
           and
           I
           with
           my
           men
           went
           to
           the
           Lords
           house
           ,
           where
           finding
           the
           gate
           shut
           ,
           I
           peep'd
           in
           at
           the
           Key-hole
           ,
           saw
           an
           old
           poore
           halfe-staru'd
           Seruingman
           leane
           against
           the
           wall
           ,
           bewailing
           the
           miseries
           of
           the
           time
           present
           ,
           and
           grieuing
           at
           the
           alterations
           of
           the
           time
           past
           ,
           despairing
           of
           the
           amendment
           of
           the
           time
           to
           come
           .
           I
           was
           halfe
           afraid
           of
           him
           dreading
           that
           instead
           of
           better
           meat
           he
           would
           fall
           aboord
           of
           mee
           and
           my
           troope
           ;
           at
           last
           ,
           seeing
           me
           retreat
           backe
           ,
           he
           beckened
           to
           me
           ,
           and
           watering
           euery
           word
           with
           a
           teare
           ,
           he
           spake
           to
           mee
           as
           followeth
           :
        
         
           Oh
           Christmas
           ,
           old
           reuerend
           Christmas
           !
           whither
           art
           
           thou
           going
           ?
           What
           haste
           art
           thou
           now
           making
           to
           this
           house
           ,
           where
           hospitality
           had
           once
           her
           habitation
           ;
           where
           the
           poore
           man
           was
           relieued
           ,
           the
           stranger
           succoured
           ,
           the
           traueller
           refresh'd
           ,
           and
           all
           men
           bid
           welcome
           ?
           Why
           art
           thou
           making
           such
           haste
           now
           ?
           Now
           it
           is
           decayed
           ,
           ruined
           ,
           sunke
           .
           This
           house
           that
           from
           the
           Conquest
           hath
           beene
           famour
           for
           Hospitality
           ,
           is
           now
           buried
           in
           her
           owne
           ruins
           .
           Looke
           round
           about
           thee
           ,
           where
           are
           now
           those
           high
           woods
           that
           did
           shelter
           this
           house
           from
           the
           winds
           violence
           ?
           Now
           they
           are
           low
           enough
           ,
           the
           woodmans
           axe
           hath
           humbled
           their
           proud
           heads
           .
           Looke
           into
           the
           Parks
           :
           Deere
           may
           be
           deare
           now
           ,
           for
           there
           are
           very
           sew
           there
           :
           My
           young
           Master
           not
           long
           fince
           closed
           them
           in
           a
           Paste
           Pale
           ,
           in
           a
           Tauerne
           ,
           where
           they
           were
           hunted
           by
           a
           company
           of
           fawning
           flattering
           hounds
           .
           Looke
           into
           
           the
           Meddowes
           ,
           dost
           thou
           see
           an
           Oxe
           there
           ?
           No
           ,
           no
           ;
           they
           are
           all
           driuen
           to
           the
           Citie
           .
           Is
           there
           a
           Calfe
           or
           Sheepe
           in
           the
           Pastures
           ?
           no
           ,
           they
           are
           all
           knockt
           on
           the
           head
           ,
           and
           houe
           their
           throats
           cut
           ,
           hauing
           Parchment
           made
           of
           their
           skinnes
           to
           make
           him
           bonds
           after
           hee
           had
           sold
           their
           flesh
           .
           Looke
           into
           the
           Garden
           ,
           is
           there
           a
           Bee-hiue
           there
           ?
           no
           ,
           all
           the
           honey-birds
           are
           fled
           ,
           and
           the
           Waxe
           spent
           in
           sealing
           Bonds
           for
           Commodities
           .
           Looke
           about
           the
           Yard
           ,
           there
           is
           not
           a
           Ducke
           ,
           Chicken
           ,
           Hen
           or
           Capon
           to
           be
           seene
           ?
           not
           a
           Goose
           to
           be
           had
           ?
           they
           are
           all
           pluckt
           ,
           and
           haue
           pens
           made
           of
           their
           quils
           to
           set
           his
           hand
           to
           his
           vndoing
           .
           Looke
           into
           the
           Barne
           ,
           there
           is
           not
           so
           many
           Eares
           to
           be
           found
           there
           as
           there
           are
           on
           a
           common
           Bailies
           head
           ;
           or
           so
           much
           Corne
           in
           the
           Garners
           as
           will
           breakfast
           a
           Chicken
           .
           O
           
             Christmas
             ,
             Christmas
          
           ,
           my
           old
           eyes
           are
           almost
           bloodshot
           with
           weeping
           at
           the
           follies
           of
           my
           yong
           Master
           ,
           who
           iustead
           of
           making
           his
           Chymneyes
           smoake
           in
           the
           Countrey
           ,
           makes
           his
           nose
           smoake
           in
           a
           Tobaceo-shop
           in
           the
           Citie
           .
           His
           Predecessours
           was
           wont
           to
           inuite
           his
           Tenants
           to
           dinner
           ,
           but
           now
           he
           hath
           more
           neede
           to
           be
           inuited
           himselfe
           ;
           which
           his
           Quondam
           Tenants
           are
           not
           able
           todoe
           ,
           for
           their
           new
           Landlord
           hath
           vsed
           them
           like
           Traytors
           ,
           and
           set
           them
           on
           the
           Racke
           .
           Instead
           of
           keeping
           a
           good
           house
           in
           the
           Countrey
           ,
           some
           blinde
           house
           in
           the
           City
           keepes
           him
           :
           Instead
           of
           keeping
           a
           kennell
           of
           hounds
           ,
           he
           is
           afraid
           to
           be
           fed
           on
           by
           hounds
           ;
           hee
           dares
           not
           looke
           a
           Serieant
           in
           the
           face
           ,
           for
           feare
           he
           should
           bite
           him
           by
           the
           shoulder
           .
           Instead
           of
           keeping
           a
           faire
           Stable
           of
           horse
           ,
           hee
           keepes
           a
           foule
           Table
           of
           —
           Rauenous
           beasts
           that
           at
           one
           riotous
           supper
           will
           deuoure
           more
           than
           the
           Paris-Garden
           dogs
           .
           Instead
           of
           keeping
           a
           proper
           Seruing-men
           ,
           he
           hath
           much
           adoe
           to
           keepe
           himselfe
           ;
           and
           whereas
           hee
           should
           walke
           in
           his
           owne
           gardens
           in
           the
           Country
           ,
           he
           walks
           the
           Temple
           garden
           in
           the
           City
           :
           and
           last
           of
           all
           he
           thinks
           Milford-lane
           as
           safe
           a
           harbour
           for
           him
           as
           Milford
           Hauen
           .
           Oh
           
           Christmas
           ,
           is
           it
           not
           pitty
           that
           such
           an
           ancient
           house
           as
           this
           where
           Hospitality
           ,
           the
           Romans
           houshold
           God
           dwel●●
           ▪
           should
           thus
           decay
           ?
           An
           old
           Vserer
           in
           the
           deepe
           whi●●epit
           of
           his
           ill
           conscience
           ,
           hath
           deuoured
           my
           young
           Masters
           house
           and
           lands
           .
           Thus
           haue
           I
           vnballanced
           my selfe
           of
           that
           burthen
           of
           griefe
           I
           was
           laden
           with
           ,
           if
           you
           will
           not
           beleeue
           me
           draw
           nigh
           the
           house
           ;
           the
           doore
           is
           open
           for
           this
           old
           penny-father
           (
           whom
           I
           am
           forced
           to
           serue
           )
           need
           feares
           no
           theeues
           ,
           for
           they
           rather
           feare
           him
           :
           for
           if
           they
           see
           any
           thing
           in
           this
           house
           now
           worth
           carrying
           away
           ,
           they
           haue
           better
           eyes
           than
           euer
           I
           had
           .
        
         
           The
           complaint
           of
           this
           poore
           Seruingman
           was
           but
           an
           ill
           breakfast
           for
           me
           and
           my
           company
           that
           cold
           morning
           ;
           yet
           I
           and
           my
           Comrades
           went
           along
           with
           him
           thorow
           
           the
           yard
           ,
           which
           look'd
           much
           of
           his
           complexion
           ,
           very
           leane
           ;
           and
           I
           no
           sooner
           was
           in
           the
           house
           but
           I
           fell
           into
           a
           swound
           :
           so
           that
           had
           it
           not
           beene
           for
           those
           that
           were
           about
           me
           I
           had
           departed
           ;
           for
           they
           gaue
           me
           hot
           waters
           ,
           and
           rubb'd
           my
           temples
           ,
           and
           at
           last
           ,
           with
           much
           adoe
           ,
           brought
           me
           to
           my selfe
           ;
           so
           that
           then
           I
           purposed
           ,
           what
           sight
           soeuer
           should
           poyson
           my
           eyes
           ,
           I
           would
           make
           a
           full
           suruey
           of
           all
           the
           chiefe
           parts
           of
           the
           house
           .
        
         
           The
           wide
           roome
           that
           I
           first
           set
           my
           foot
           in
           ,
           was
           rather
           
           like
           the
           hole
           of
           some
           lothsome
           Iaile
           ,
           than
           the
           Hall
           of
           an
           House
           :
           
           Indeed
           it
           rather
           was
           a
           hell
           where
           a
           damnable
           extorting
           Diuell
           dwelt
           with
           a
           few
           spirits
           about
           him
           .
           I
           may
           properly
           call
           them
           spirits
           ,
           for
           they
           had
           little
           flesh
           about
           them
           .
           There
           was
           not
           so
           much
           fire
           in
           the
           Chimney
           as
           would
           broyle
           a
           Pilcher
           ,
           for
           his
           Harth
           was
           as
           cold
           as
           my
           heart
           .
        
         
           The
           Blacke-Iacke
           whom
           euery
           Seruingman
           in
           the
           
           house
           was
           wont
           to
           wring
           by
           the
           eare
           ,
           for
           being
           too
           sawcie
           with
           them
           ,
           (
           for
           hee
           often
           would
           fling
           them
           into
           the
           fire
           ,
           and
           make
           them
           quarrell
           without
           without
           cause
           )
           was
           cast
           aside
           in
           a
           blinde
           corner
           .
           This
           spright
           of
           the
           Buttery
           ,
           (
           that
           would
           runne
           foaming
           at
           the
           mouth
           vp
           and
           downe
           
           the
           house
           as
           being
           weary
           of
           trauelling
           )
           was
           lamentably
           abused
           ;
           this
           leather-suited
           Seruingman
           (
           whom
           the
           Butler
           had
           often
           pitch'd
           ouer
           the
           Barre
           )
           I
           saw
           lye
           in
           a
           darke
           corner
           on
           his
           belly
           ,
           with
           his
           mouth
           wide
           open
           like
           a
           Canon
           ,
           as
           it
           were
           gaping
           for
           that
           full
           Charge
           hee
           was
           wont
           to
           haue
           in
           his
           old
           Master's
           time
           .
           Thus
           lay
           he
           sleeping
           in
           a
           hole
           that
           had
           made
           many
           sleepe
           .
           
        
         
           The
           Tables
           (
           that
           were
           wont
           to
           be
           spread
           with
           cleane
           Linnen
           ,
           Diaper
           and
           Damaske
           for
           the
           rich
           ,
           and
           home-spunne
           for
           the
           poore
           ,
           )
           were
           now
           couered
           with
           dust
           ,
           and
           a
           company
           of
           staru'd
           Mice
           and
           Rats
           ,
           that
           for
           want
           of
           crummes
           were
           scarce
           able
           to
           crawle
           out
           of
           their
           nests
           ,
           supplyed
           the
           places
           of
           many
           guests
           ,
           that
           were
           wont
           to
           fill
           them
           ,
           in
           the
           time
           of
           bounteous
           house-keepers
           .
        
         
           I
           haue
           knowne
           the
           time
           when
           I
           haue
           seene
           a
           Gentleman
           Sewer
           (
           that
           Captainelike
           led
           a
           company
           of
           Seruingmen
           bare
           ,
           or
           bare
           Seruingmen
           )
           armed
           with
           full
           dishes
           of
           meat
           ,
           and
           the
           Clerke
           of
           the
           Kitching
           ,
           the
           Clerke
           of
           that
           stomackfull
           Band
           bringing
           vp
           the
           Reare
           ,
           that
           in
           a
           quarter
           of
           an
           houres
           warning
           ,
           would
           performe
           a
           braue
           peece
           of
           seruice
           ,
           and
           spite
           of
           hunger
           and
           famine
           place
           the
           right
           worshipfull
           sur-loyne
           at
           the
           vpper
           end
           of
           the
           Table
           ,
           attended
           by
           two
           sawcers
           of
           Vineger
           and
           Pepper
           ,
           that
           waited
           on
           him
           like
           his
           Pages
           .
           I
           had
           almost
           forgot
           the
           
           stiffe-neck'd
           colerick
           Coller
           of
           Brawn
           ,
           that
           boldly
           charg'd
           on
           the
           Front
           with
           his
           sprig
           of
           Rosemary
           on
           his
           head
           ,
           instead
           of
           a
           white
           feather
           ,
           like
           a
           Bride-bush
           :
           but
           if
           these
           stout
           Captaines
           ,
           Brawne
           and
           burly
           Beefe
           could
           not
           take
           downe
           the
           stomackes
           of
           those
           that
           did
           assault
           them
           with
           their
           sleighted
           blades
           ,
           instantly
           vpon
           the
           Reare
           would
           come
           whole
           troopes
           of
           hot
           souldiers
           ,
           ss
           Capons
           ,
           Hens
           ,
           Lambe
           ,
           Mutton
           and
           Veale
           to
           their
           rescue
           ,
           and
           after
           them
           whole
           compani●s
           of
           wilde-fowle
           would
           come
           flying
           to
           their
           succour
           ;
           many
           tender-hearted
           Chicken
           haue
           I
           seene
           torne
           in
           peeces
           in
           these
           terrible
           conflicts
           ,
           
           many
           plumpe
           Partriges
           and
           Quailes
           that
           could
           not
           quaile
           their
           stomacks
           .
        
         
           Often
           haue
           I
           seene
           the
           dogges
           (
           that
           could
           doe
           more
           than
           many
           Knights
           of
           the
           Post
           )
           fall
           together
           by
           the
           eares
           for
           bones
           ,
           the
           well
           fill'd
           guests
           haue
           slung
           vnder
           the
           Tables
           to
           them
           .
           I
           haue
           seene
           the
           wide
           throated
           Vsher
           of
           the
           Hall
           ,
           that
           tooke
           no
           small
           pride
           to
           cry
           Gentlemen
           and
           Yeomen
           to
           the
           Dresser
           ,
           fill
           the
           Almes
           .
           basket
           with
           meat
           and
           bread
           well
           sopp'd
           with
           the
           fat
           of
           wholesome
           powder
           Beefe
           .
           I
           haue
           seene
           these
           windowes
           stucke
           full
           of
           Holly
           and
           luy
           ;
           but
           now
           the
           laborious
           Spider
           ,
           that
           most
           skilfull
           Spinner
           and
           Weauer
           ,
           that
           in
           his
           nets
           intraps
           the
           silly
           Flie
           ,
           as
           artificially
           as
           the
           Spider-like
           Trades-man
           doth
           the
           young
           Gentleman
           ,
           hath
           his
           Loomb-worke
           hanging
           in
           euery
           window
           ,
           not
           fearing
           the
           house
           wiues
           Broome
           .
        
         
           Last
           of
           all
           ,
           this
           Hall
           haue
           I
           seene
           strewed
           with
           rushes
           ,
           a
           signe
           of
           the
           soft
           and
           kinde
           entertainment
           the
           guests
           should
           haue
           :
           I
           haue
           seene
           a
           Lord
           of
           Misrule
           ,
           that
           with
           his
           honest
           mirth
           hath
           made
           old
           Christmas
           laugh
           :
           I
           haue
           seene
           Armour
           ,
           Swords
           ,
           and
           Pikes
           adorne
           this
           Hall
           ,
           which
           seemed
           to
           defend
           and
           ayd
           Hospitality
           ,
           but
           now
           there
           is
           no
           such
           Starre
           appeares
           ,
           no
           such
           sight
           seene
           ,
           and
           I
           feare
           ,
           I
           am
           growne
           so
           old
           and
           dimme
           ,
           that
           I
           shell
           neuer
           see
           it
           againe
           .
        
         
           From
           the
           Hall
           ,
           I
           made
           a
           step
           into
           the
           Buttery
           ,
           but
           
           the
           thirsty
           Butler
           could
           not
           make
           me
           drinke
           ;
           he
           could
           not
           entertaine
           me
           as
           a
           man
           would
           doe
           a
           dogge
           ,
           which
           is
           with
           a
           crust
           .
           But
           the
           Seruingman
           told
           me
           ,
           because
           his
           Master
           would
           not
           be
           thought
           prodigall
           ,
           bought
           his
           Beere
           and
           Bread
           at
           the
           next
           Alehouse
           .
           Instead
           of
           Plate
           ,
           I
           saw
           a
           company
           of
           old
           Peuterpots
           ,
           which
           (
           though
           they
           had
           no
           leakes
           )
           very
           seldome
           did
           hold
           any
           Beere
           in
           them
           .
           The
           Bynne
           grew
           musty
           for
           want
           of
           vse
           ,
           and
           the
           Chipping-knife
           rusty
           for
           want
           of
           exercise
           .
           The
           Butler
           was
           not
           many
           crums
           the
           better
           for
           all
           the
           Bread
           that
           came
           into
           
           the
           house
           in
           a
           weeke
           ,
           for
           he
           had
           not
           so
           many
           chippins
           to
           his
           fees
           ,
           as
           would
           breakfast
           a
           Mouse
           ;
           or
           so
           much
           waste
           Beere
           ,
           as
           would
           dround
           a
           flye
           .
        
         
           As
           for
           Cards
           and
           Dice
           that
           were
           wont
           to
           be
           as
           good
           to
           the
           Butler
           as
           a
           ten
           pound
           Coppy-hold
           ,
           the
           Master
           held
           prophane
           :
           for
           hee
           held
           the
           one
           were
           the
           Diuels
           Bookes
           ,
           the
           other
           Witches
           bones
           ;
           therefore
           vnlawfull
           to
           be
           read
           ,
           or
           followed
           .
           I
           was
           going
           downe
           into
           the
           Celler
           ,
           but
           I
           thought
           it
           in
           vaine
           to
           descend
           so
           loe
           ,
           seeing
           so
           little
           drinke
           stirring
           aboue
           .
        
         
           Seeing
           I
           could
           not
           quench
           my
           thirst
           in
           the
           Buttery
           ,
           I
           made
           bold
           to
           see
           if
           I
           could
           breake
           my
           fast
           in
           the
           Kitchin
           ,
           
           which
           had
           not
           so
           many
           Seacoles
           or
           Wood
           mit
           as
           would
           rost
           three
           ribbes
           of
           a
           racke
           of
           Mutton
           :
           then
           saw
           I
           the
           Master
           Cooke
           (
           that
           now
           was
           not
           able
           to
           licke
           his
           owne
           fingers
           )
           turne
           the
           leane
           spit
           ;
           so
           that
           now
           he
           was
           both
           Cooke
           and
           Scullion
           .
           The
           Dripping
           pannes
           and
           Kettles
           ●●apt
           many
           a
           scouring
           ,
           which
           indeede
           was
           good
           husbandry
           in
           their
           owner
           ,
           for
           too
           much
           vse
           would
           make
           the
           Kettles
           looke
           thinne
           ,
           and
           too
           much
           scouring
           the
           Spits
           to
           sharpe
           .
           The
           Ouen
           that
           had
           wont
           to
           looke
           as
           blacke
           in
           the
           mouth
           as
           a
           Tobacco
           pipe
           ,
           and
           as
           hot
           as
           a
           
             Maquanella
          
           that
           drinkes
           nothing
           but
           Aquavitae
           ,
           was
           now
           coole
           enough
           ;
           hee
           could
           not
           now
           complaine
           of
           any
           hart-burning
           ,
           or
           of
           the
           vnkindnesse
           of
           the
           Cooke
           that
           oftentimes
           did
           surfet
           him
           with
           filling
           his
           belly
           to
           full
           ,
           and
           cramming
           him
           vp
           to
           the
           mouth
           with
           Pasties
           ,
           and
           bak'd
           meats
           .
           The
           Dresser-boord
           look'd
           as
           leane
           as
           a
           cookes
           shop
           in
           the
           time
           of
           the
           forty
           fasting
           dayes
           .
           The
           Collericke
           Cooke
           that
           in
           times
           past
           would
           out
           of
           his
           fury
           scald
           the
           breakfast
           beggers
           ,
           as
           they
           stood
           cutting
           slices
           of
           roast
           Beefe
           off
           from
           the
           Spit
           ,
           and
           boyld
           out
           of
           the
           pot
           ,
           now
           was
           as
           tame
           as
           a
           Water-man
           in
           a
           great
           frost
           ,
           as
           a
           Player
           in
           a
           great
           plague
           .
           Hee
           told
           me
           that
           hee
           had
           not
           one
           quarter
           of
           Beefe
           in
           the
           Kitchin
           ,
           for
           a
           quarter
           of
           a
           yeare
           together
           ;
           so
           that
           now
           he
           could
           not
           be
           beholding
           
           to
           the
           Butler
           for
           his
           Ladle
           of
           Beere
           ,
           or
           the
           Butler
           to
           him
           for
           a
           trencher
           of
           meat
           :
           for
           the
           one
           was
           almost
           chok'd
           for
           want
           of
           liquor
           ,
           and
           the
           other
           staru'd
           for
           want
           of
           meat
           .
           
        
         
           There
           was
           one
           sight
           did
           much
           afflict
           mee
           ,
           and
           that
           was
           the
           Iacke
           ,
           which
           in
           former
           times
           did
           rule
           the
           roast
           ,
           and
           hindred
           many
           poore
           mens
           children
           from
           the
           warme
           office
           of
           turne-broches
           .
           It
           neuer
           was
           a
           bountifull
           time
           since
           a
           Dogge
           in
           the
           wheele
           ,
           and
           the
           Iacke
           in
           the
           Mantle-tree
           began
           to
           turne
           the
           Spit
           ;
           for
           they
           began
           first
           to
           turne
           Hospitality
           out
           of
           doores
           .
           But
           the
           fault
           is
           in
           our
           English
           Brewers
           ,
           that
           Dutch-men
           haue
           such
           deuices
           in
           their
           sconces
           ,
           for
           if
           they
           did
           not
           tunne
           vp
           so
           many
           barrels
           of
           our
           Brittanian
           Barly-broth
           in
           their
           buckingtub
           -
           bellies
           ,
           their
           Geometricall
           pates
           could
           neuer
           finde
           out
           such
           vncharitable
           Engines
           .
        
         
           Being
           weary
           of
           the
           Kitcken
           ,
           I
           tooke
           
             Lazanello
             de
             Coquo
          
           by
           the
           fingers
           and
           bad
           him
           be
           of
           good
           cheere
           (
           if
           hee
           could
           get
           any
           meate
           to
           his
           dinner
           )
           and
           I
           went
           into
           the
           Larder
           ,
           that
           was
           wont
           to
           looke
           as
           fat
           as
           a
           Tripe-wife
           ;
           
           but
           now
           ,
           the
           coppy
           of
           that
           louely
           complexion
           was
           changed
           ,
           for
           I
           haue
           knowne
           when
           the
           smell
           of
           it
           (
           as
           a
           man
           past
           by
           )
           would
           haue
           giuen
           him
           his
           breakfast
           ,
           but
           now
           would
           not
           yeeld
           so
           much
           as
           would
           stay
           a
           mans
           stomacke
           while
           dinner
           time
           :
           It
           was
           falne
           much
           away
           since
           I
           saw
           it
           last
           ,
           by
           reason
           of
           his
           thin
           dyet
           :
           so
           I
           forsooke
           the
           Larder
           ,
           and
           went
           into
           the
           Dairie
           ,
           
        
         
           As
           soone
           as
           I
           came
           in
           I
           saw
           the
           Boles
           whelm'd
           vpon
           each
           other
           backes
           ,
           like
           so
           many
           men
           that
           lay
           heapt
           vp
           in
           one
           graue
           in
           a
           time
           of
           Pestilence
           :
           They
           lay
           on
           the
           ground
           as
           if
           they
           mourn'd
           for
           their
           emptinesse
           .
           The
           Cherme
           stood
           behinde
           the
           doore
           ,
           as
           if
           it
           were
           asham'd
           of
           it selfe
           ;
           for
           whereas
           hee
           was
           wont
           to
           haue
           his
           mouth
           butter'd
           more
           then
           any
           Flemmings
           ,
           now
           he
           was
           as
           
             leane
             as
             any
             Spaniards
          
           .
           The
           Cheese-presse
           ,
           that
           like
           a
           Cockney
           loued
           to
           feede
           on
           Curds
           and
           congeal'd
           milke
           into
           
           Welchmens
           roastmeate
           ,
           stood
           close
           against
           the
           wall
           ,
           as
           if
           it
           had
           beene
           loath
           I
           should
           haue
           seene
           it
           :
           and
           to
           be
           plaine
           with
           you
           ,
           there
           was
           not
           so
           much
           Cheese
           to
           be
           seene
           as
           would
           baite
           a
           Moustrap
           ,
           or
           so
           much
           Butter
           as
           would
           make
           a
           toste
           for
           a
           Citizens
           sonne
           .
           There
           was
           not
           a
           timerous
           fearefull
           Custard
           to
           be
           seene
           ,
           whose
           nature
           is
           to
           quake
           if
           your
           teeth
           doe
           but
           water
           at
           him
           .
        
         
           Thus
           looking
           into
           euery
           corner
           of
           the
           house
           beloestaires
           (
           as
           narrowly
           as
           if
           I
           had
           beene
           some
           enquiring
           Constable
           ,
           and
           had
           warrant
           for
           the
           search
           )
           but
           finding
           no
           such
           thing
           as
           I
           expected
           ,
           vp
           staires
           went
           I
           and
           all
           my
           sorrowfull
           associates
           ,
           and
           looking
           into
           a
           withdrawing-Chamber
           I
           saw
           the
           old
           Mammon
           himselfe
           sitting
           ouer
           a
           
           few
           Cinders
           to
           warme
           his
           gowtie
           tooes
           ,
           for
           no
           other
           part
           did
           neede
           the
           comfort
           of
           a
           fire
           ,
           for
           from
           head
           to
           foot
           ,
           he
           was
           furr'd
           like
           a
           Muscouite
           .
           Instead
           of
           a
           Bible
           he
           had
           a
           Bond
           in
           his
           hand
           ,
           which
           hee
           was
           diligently
           perusing
           to
           see
           if
           it
           were
           forfeit
           or
           no
           :
           his
           face
           very
           seldome
           did
           looke
           vpward
           ,
           for
           his
           dull
           melancholy
           eyes
           was
           most
           commonly
           fix'd
           on
           the
           earth
           ,
           as
           if
           he
           were
           looking
           out
           for
           a
           Myne
           :
           He
           kept
           his
           keyes
           continually
           tack'd
           at
           his
           girdie
           ,
           one
           hand
           alwayes
           on
           them
           ,
           as
           if
           he
           feard
           they
           would
           runne
           from
           him
           and
           vnlocke
           his
           Chest
           for
           those
           that
           would
           doe
           more
           good
           with
           his
           bagges
           ,
           than
           he
           himselfe
           euer
           had
           .
           He
           was
           like
           the
           Poets
           Euclio
           that
           feard
           euery
           man
           that
           did
           but
           looke
           towards
           his
           house
           ,
           came
           to
           rob
           it
           :
           for
           he
           no
           sooner
           cast
           his
           Ospray
           eyes
           on
           me
           and
           my
           company
           ,
           but
           hee
           cried
           ,
           Theeues
           ,
           Theeues
           ,
           as
           lowd
           as
           his
           hoarse
           throat
           could
           creake
           it
           out
           ,
           brauing
           his
           poore
           seruants
           ,
           telling
           them
           they
           had
           let
           in
           fellowes
           to
           rob
           him
           :
           so
           to
           stop
           this
           Hell-hounds
           mouth
           ,
           I
           spake
           to
           him
           as
           followeth
           .
        
         
           Sir
           ,
           feare
           not
           ,
           there
           are
           none
           here
           that
           intend
           to
           hurt
           you
           :
           if
           you
           catch
           any
           it
           must
           be
           your selfe
           that
           must
           doe
           it
           to
           your selfe
           ,
           and
           not
           we
           .
           My
           name
           is
           Christmas
           ,
           these
           gray
           hair'd
           men
           that
           are
           with
           me
           ,
           are
           men
           of
           my
           neere
           
           and
           deere
           acquaintance
           ,
           these
           poore
           men
           in
           their
           patch'd
           cloaks
           ,
           poore
           people
           that
           wish
           well
           to
           me
           :
           all
           true
           men
           ,
           though
           poore
           men
           ;
           and
           we
           come
           to
           you
           for
           a
           few
           daies
           ,
           hoping
           of
           a
           free
           entertainment
           :
           if
           it
           is
           not
           your
           pleasure
           to
           welcome
           vs
           as
           your
           Guests
           ,
           it
           is
           not
           our
           part
           to
           force
           it
           .
        
         
           This
           old
           Penny-father
           look'd
           as
           sowre
           on
           me
           ,
           as
           if
           I
           had
           brought
           him
           a
           Priuy-Seale
           to
           borrow
           money
           of
           him
           ,
           or
           a
           Subpaena
           out
           of
           the
           Exchequer
           for
           extortion
           :
           and
           in
           briefe
           told
           me
           ,
           that
           I
           was
           an
           imposture
           ,
           and
           onely
           came
           to
           entice
           the
           people
           to
           prodigality
           and
           expence
           :
           and
           as
           for
           the
           poore
           ,
           he
           had
           nothing
           to
           doe
           with
           them
           ,
           for
           he
           was
           poore
           himselfe
           .
        
         
           Poore
           your selfe
           ,
           said
           I
           ,
           't
           is
           true
           ;
           for
           how
           can
           you
           be
           
           rich
           ,
           that
           neuer
           thinke
           you
           haue
           enough
           .
           In
           this
           you
           shew
           your selfe
           most
           vnnaturall
           ,
           for
           Nature
           is
           content
           with
           a
           little
           ,
           but
           you
           with
           neuer
           so
           much
           .
           Therefore
           couetous
           rich
           men
           may
           well
           bee
           called
           the
           sonnes
           of
           the
           Earth
           because
           they
           hunt
           after
           nothing
           but
           earth
           .
           What
           need
           you
           be
           couetous
           ?
           Hath
           not
           God
           giuen
           you
           himselfe
           ,
           what
           need
           you
           haue
           any
           more
           ?
           If
           God
           cannot
           suffice
           you
           ,
           what
           can
           satisfie
           you
           ?
           As
           for
           externall
           riches
           they
           are
           more
           fugitiue
           than
           Chymists
           Quicksiluer
           ,
           or
           the
           most
           notorious
           Vagabond
           .
        
         
           He
           inherits
           nothing
           that
           loseth
           Christ
           ,
           hee
           loseth
           nothing
           that
           possesseth
           Christ.
           Will
           you
           possesse
           him
           ,
           let
           the
           poore
           possesse
           some
           of
           your
           wealth
           ?
           Wilt
           thou
           lose
           nothing
           ,
           then
           put
           it
           to
           a
           spirituall
           interest
           ,
           let
           the
           poore
           borrow
           some
           of
           thee
           ?
           Here
           on
           earth
           thou
           hast
           but
           eight
           for
           a
           hundred
           ,
           which
           is
           most
           finfull
           vse
           ;
           but
           with
           the
           poore
           thou
           shalt
           haue
           a
           hundred
           for
           eight
           ,
           which
           is
           a
           most
           heauenly
           interest
           .
           He
           that
           doth
           bestow
           his
           beneuolence
           on
           the
           poore
           ,
           doth
           not
           lose
           ,
           but
           get
           ;
           and
           by
           scattering
           his
           bread
           on
           the
           waters
           ,
           doth
           gather
           and
           increase
           .
           By
           keeping
           them
           you
           doe
           not
           possesse
           them
           ,
           or
           by
           dispersing
           them
           ,
           lose
           them
           .
           Gold
           and
           siluer
           are
           good
           ,
           not
           
           that
           they
           can
           make
           you
           good
           ,
           but
           that
           you
           may
           doe
           good
           .
           How
           can
           money
           be
           better
           lent
           than
           to
           the
           poore
           ,
           for
           my
           Lord
           and
           Master
           will
           be
           bound
           to
           see
           it
           payd
           in
           againe
           but
           he
           is
           a
           surety
           few
           Vserers
           will
           take
           .
           What
           
           is
           gold
           ,
           but
           yellow
           rubbish
           ?
           What
           is
           siluer
           ,
           but
           white
           drosse
           ?
           and
           nothing
           makes
           them
           precious
           but
           couetousnesse
           .
           Gold
           is
           a
           matter
           of
           labour
           ,
           his
           perill
           that
           doth
           possesse
           
           it
           :
           It
           is
           an
           ill
           master
           ,
           a
           worse
           seruant
           .
           Bee
           not
           a
           slaue
           then
           to
           your
           estate
           ,
           but
           entertaine
           mee
           with
           some
           part
           of
           it
           ,
           releeue
           those
           that
           follow
           me
           ,
           couer
           your
           boords
           and
           load
           them
           with
           well-fild
           dishes
           ▪
           so
           shall
           you
           crowne
           your selfe
           with
           all
           our
           blessings
           .
        
         
           My
           Oratory
           would
           doe
           no
           good
           ,
           my
           Physicke
           would
           not
           worke
           ;
           blessings
           he
           regarded
           as
           much
           as
           a
           true
           Protestant
           will
           the
           Anathema
           of
           the
           holy
           Father
           the
           Pope
           ▪
           for
           without
           any
           verball
           answer
           hee
           thrust
           mee
           and
           my
           company
           out
           of
           doores
           without
           saying
           Farewell
           .
        
         
           Thus
           was
           poore
           Christmas
           vsed
           ,
           which
           made
           me
           and
           my
           consorts
           looke
           very
           blanke
           vpon
           the
           matter
           :
           so
           we
           wandred
           vp
           and
           downe
           from
           house
           to
           house
           but
           found
           little
           comfort
           .
           Some
           would
           onely
           smile
           on
           me
           ,
           another
           aske
           me
           how
           I
           did
           ,
           and
           giue
           me
           a
           cup
           of
           small
           Beere
           and
           a
           crust
           ,
           and
           so
           farewell
           :
           a
           fourth
           ,
           that
           laid
           all
           on
           his
           backe
           ,
           would
           not
           looke
           on
           me
           ;
           so
           away
           went
           wee
           still
           iogging
           on
           .
           At
           last
           I
           cast
           vp
           my
           dimme
           eyes
           ,
           and
           I
           saw
           a
           house
           where
           for
           foure
           or
           fiue
           yeares
           together
           I
           had
           not
           beene
           bountifully
           ,
           but
           profusely
           entertained
           ,
           for
           the
           Master
           of
           it
           did
           almost
           surfeit
           me
           euery
           meale
           :
           A
           way
           went
           we
           thither
           ,
           and
           comming
           to
           the
           gate
           ,
           the
           grumbling
           Seruingman
           (
           that
           opened
           his
           mouth
           wider
           than
           a
           trap
           doore
           )
           told
           me
           ,
           there
           was
           no
           entertainment
           for
           me
           ,
           but
           began
           to
           raile
           at
           me
           ,
           and
           said
           ,
           that
           his
           Master
           was
           the
           worse
           for
           me
           by
           a
           thousand
           pound
           a
           yeare
           ,
           therefore
           bid
           me
           be
           gone
           ,
           for
           he
           had
           warrant
           from
           his
           Master
           to
           locke
           me
           ,
           out
           of
           doores
           ;
           telling
           mee
           moreouer
           ,
           if
           I
           would
           speake
           with
           his
           master
           I
           must
           to
           London
           ,
           for
           he
           was
           soiourning
           
           there
           ,
           not
           intending
           to
           returne
           while
           the
           Parliament
           was
           ended
           .
           Well
           ,
           thought
           I
           ,
           it
           were
           good
           if
           the
           Proclamation
           that
           summons
           all
           Country-Gentlemen
           to
           returne
           into
           the
           Countrey
           ,
           would
           ●ake
           hold
           of
           him
           and
           many
           others
           that
           lye
           lurking
           there
           because
           they
           would
           not
           be
           troubled
           in
           the
           Country
           with
           their
           poore
           nieghbours
           .
        
         
           As
           for
           thy
           Master
           ,
           that
           spent
           more
           in
           three
           or
           foure
           yeare
           ,
           than
           hee
           is
           able
           to
           get
           together
           againe
           in
           threescore
           ,
           I
           did
           not
           entice
           to
           that
           expence
           .
           Can
           I
           helpe
           his
           riot
           and
           excesse
           ?
           I
           desire
           to
           vndoe
           no
           man.
           I
           loue
           to
           see
           men
           bountifull
           ,
           not
           prodigall
           :
           I
           neuer
           enticed
           him
           to
           luxury
           ;
           I
           thought
           what
           would
           become
           of
           his
           prodigality
           .
           He
           was
           prodigall
           because
           hee
           would
           be
           accounted
           a
           good
           house-keeper
           .
           A
           good
           house-keeper
           ?
           Oh
           simplicity
           ▪
           that
           for
           keeping
           three
           or
           foure
           prodigall
           and
           fulsome
           feasts
           he
           should
           make
           himselfe
           a
           begger
           for
           euer
           after
           .
           I
           thinke
           indeed
           now
           that
           a
           good
           house
           is
           
             abler
          
           to
           keepe
           him
           ,
           than
           he
           a
           good
           house
           .
           No
           ,
           no
           ,
           they
           are
           the
           meanes
           that
           blesse
           ,
           no
           man
           can
           liue
           without
           them
           ,
           though
           few
           haue
           them
           .
           What
           cause
           had
           your
           Master
           to
           feast
           all
           the
           richest
           in
           the
           Country
           ,
           and
           at
           one
           sumptuous
           and
           sinfull
           supper
           ,
           to
           consume
           more
           than
           would
           releeue
           a
           Parish
           of
           poore
           folks
           a
           quarter
           ?
           Is
           this
           charity
           ?
           No
           ,
           no.
           But
           I
           thinke
           your
           Master
           doth
           scarce
           know
           where
           he
           may
           
             reade
          
           this
           .
           His
           fulsome
           ,
           gluttonous
           ,
           and
           Bacchanalian
           Feasts
           ,
           did
           presage
           of
           fasts
           .
           It
           grieved
           mee
           first
           to
           foresee
           it
           ,
           now
           to
           know
           it
           .
           Is
           it
           charity
           to
           lard
           and
           grease
           the
           fat
           Country
           Bores
           ,
           I
           meane
           the
           rich
           chuffes
           that
           haue
           enough
           in
           their
           Barnes
           to
           releeue
           themselues
           and
           their
           poore
           neighbours
           ?
           This
           kils
           ,
           not
           cures
           charity
           .
           Gluttonous
           Feasts
           cost
           much
           ,
           doe
           little
           good
           ,
           much
           hurt
           .
           They
           mingle
           Earth
           ,
           Heauen
           ,
           Sea
           ,
           and
           Fire
           in
           their
           bellies
           at
           one
           sitting
           .
           What
           Fowle
           soeuer
           flies
           in
           the
           Aire
           ,
           what
           Beast
           soeuer
           treads
           on
           the
           Earth
           ,
           what
           Fish
           soeuer
           swimmes
           in
           the
           Sea
           ,
           and
           what
           strange
           drinkes
           ,
           
           Wines
           ,
           and
           strong
           Waters
           soeuer
           ,
           (
           that
           are
           of
           fiery
           natures
           )
           we
           barrall
           vp
           in
           our
           bellies
           at
           one
           dinner
           or
           supper
           :
           So
           that
           the
           confusion
           of
           these
           Elements
           cannot
           choose
           but
           beget
           diuers
           tempests
           in
           vs
           ,
           which
           like
           earthquakes
           continually
           shake
           our
           bodies
           by
           the
           arising
           of
           hot
           and
           fiery
           vapours
           from
           our
           stomackes
           .
           So
           that
           if
           Nature
           could
           finde
           her
           tongue
           now
           ,
           as
           in
           the
           dayes
           of
           Ouid
           ,
           shee
           would
           complaine
           once
           more
           to
           Ioue
           of
           her
           wrongs
           :
           for
           is
           it
           not
           against
           Nature
           to
           see
           fishes
           that
           should
           swimme
           in
           the
           Seas
           ,
           first
           swimme
           in
           wine
           vinegar
           ,
           then
           in
           wine
           ,
           being
           so
           scorcht
           ,
           carbonadoed
           ,
           sows'd
           ,
           and
           so
           martyred
           ,
           that
           when
           it
           comes
           to
           the
           Table
           ,
           a
           man
           cannot
           iudge
           whether
           it
           be
           fish
           or
           flesh
           ?
           Then
           to
           haue
           another
           dish
           brought
           to
           the
           boord
           couer'd
           ouer
           with
           an
           inundation
           of
           Vinegar
           ,
           Oyle
           ,
           and
           Pepper
           ?
           Is
           it
           not
           against
           Nature
           to
           haue
           pounds
           of
           Butter
           rosted
           ,
           whose
           Cooking
           with
           white-bread
           ,
           Cinamond
           and
           Sugar
           will
           cost
           more
           than
           halfe
           a
           dozen
           Milch
           Kine
           will
           yeeld
           in
           a
           weeke
           ?
           Is
           it
           not
           against
           Nature
           to
           haue
           Mutton
           larded
           with
           Ambergreece
           ,
           and
           breaded
           with
           Ciuet
           ?
           To
           haue
           Birds
           come
           to
           the
           Table
           lim'd
           to
           the
           dish
           with
           viscous
           and
           clammy
           sawces
           ,
           faster
           than
           they
           were
           before
           in
           the
           Fowlers
           lime-twigs
           ?
           And
           to
           haue
           many
           of
           these
           inuented
           and
           made
           dishes
           come
           to
           a
           Table
           ,
           doe
           you
           thinke
           it
           would
           not
           make
           Nature
           complaine
           ?
           Yes
           ,
           yes
           ;
           for
           all
           this
           doth
           no
           good
           to
           Charity
           .
           And
           it
           is
           no
           wonder
           ,
           as
           the
           Philosopher
           faith
           ,
           why
           so
           suddenly
           we
           dye
           ,
           seeing
           we
           liue
           by
           
             Deathe
          
           .
           Some
           will
           out-Epicure
           Geta
           the
           Emperour
           ,
           that
           had
           his
           Table
           furnish'd
           with
           dishes
           according
           to
           the
           Alphabet
           :
           some
           againe
           almost
           as
           gluttonous
           as
           
             Theocritus
             
               Chius
            
          
           ,
           that
           hauing
           deuoured
           at
           one
           bit
           ,
           a
           liue
           fish
           ,
           said
           that
           hee
           had
           swallowed
           heauen
           :
           To
           whom
           one
           answered
           ,
           that
           he
           wanted
           one
           thing
           ,
           which
           was
           to
           drinke
           off
           the
           Sea
           at
           a
           draught
           ;
           now
           if
           hee
           had
           but
           remembred
           to
           bid
           him
           eat
           the
           earth
           instead
           of
           bread
           ,
           he
           had
           made
           a
           pretty
           meale
           of
           it
           .
           Alas
           ,
           alas
           ,
           this
           luxuriousnesse
           
           kils
           as
           many
           as
           Physicke
           .
           Let
           Christmas
           be
           at
           a
           feast
           where
           is
           good
           store
           of
           good
           cheere
           ,
           but
           not
           too
           dainty
           or
           costly
           ,
           but
           such
           as
           a
           mans
           
             owne
          
           yard
           or
           pasture
           affords
           :
           where
           the
           Tables
           are
           fill'd
           with
           guests
           ,
           not
           rich
           ,
           but
           poore
           :
           not
           so
           few
           as
           the
           Graces
           ,
           that
           are
           onely
           three
           ;
           or
           no
           more
           than
           the
           Muses
           ,
           nine
           ;
           for
           a
           feast
           ought
           to
           be
           absolute
           for
           all
           commers
           .
        
         
           I
           am
           of
           his
           minde
           ,
           for
           if
           I
           haue
           a
           moderate
           preparation
           of
           meat
           and
           drinke
           ,
           honest
           mirth
           ,
           good
           welcome
           ,
           and
           a
           cup
           of
           good
           Wine
           or
           Beere
           ;
           I
           care
           not
           for
           set
           Suppers
           ,
           high
           Musicke
           ,
           complementall
           Cringies
           .
           No
           ,
           no
           ,
           if
           your
           master
           had
           but
           began
           thus
           moderately
           ,
           he
           need
           not
           now
           to
           haue
           taken
           the
           City
           ouer
           his
           head
           to
           hide
           himselfe
           from
           me
           .
           But
           he
           is
           not
           the
           first
           that
           hath
           done
           so
           ,
           (
           though
           that
           bee
           no
           excuse
           for
           him
           )
           I
           would
           he
           might
           be
           the
           last
           ,
           for
           I
           and
           my
           followers
           fare
           the
           worse
           for
           him
           and
           such
           profuse
           Prodigals
           .
        
         
           So
           away
           went
           I
           and
           my
           traine
           ,
           hauing
           little
           comfort
           yet
           as
           you
           may
           perceiue
           ,
           but
           as
           wee
           were
           walking
           and
           talking
           of
           our
           bad
           fortune
           ,
           wee
           might
           perceiue
           a
           plaine
           Country
           man
           come
           towards
           vs
           :
           hee
           had
           high-shooes
           
           on
           that
           look'd
           as
           blacke
           as
           a
           Bullice
           ,
           white
           stockings
           made
           of
           the
           wooll
           of
           his
           owne
           Sheepe
           ,
           gray
           Trunke-hose
           ,
           with
           all
           accoutriments
           belonging
           to
           this
           Country
           plainenesse
           :
           As
           soone
           as
           hee
           came
           somewhat
           nigh
           mee
           ,
           he
           began
           to
           salute
           mee
           and
           bid
           mee
           welcome
           into
           the
           Country
           ,
           telling
           me
           if
           it
           pleased
           me
           I
           should
           be
           welcome
           to
           his
           house
           :
           So
           without
           many
           circumstances
           I
           tooke
           his
           proffer
           ,
           and
           with
           my
           (
           now
           )
           merry
           mates
           went
           toward
           his
           Farme
           ,
           which
           was
           not
           farre
           off
           .
           As
           soone
           as
           we
           came
           into
           the
           yard
           (
           well
           stored
           with
           Poultrey
           )
           the
           Farmer
           himselfe
           shooke
           me
           by
           the
           hand
           ,
           and
           bid
           all
           the
           rest
           welcome
           .
           The
           Dame
           of
           the
           house
           drest
           vp
           in
           her
           home-spunne
           Gowne
           ,
           came
           to
           meet
           me
           ;
           the
           Maid-seruants
           reioyced
           to
           see
           mee
           ,
           and
           the
           Plow-mens
           hearts
           leap'd
           in
           their
           straw-colour'd
           letherd
           Doublets
           for
           ioy
           
           of
           my
           approach
           .
           Then
           with
           all
           Country
           solemnity
           I
           was
           had
           into
           the
           Parlour
           and
           set
           downe
           by
           a
           good
           fire
           .
           I
           was
           presented
           with
           a
           cup
           of
           browne
           Ale
           ,
           seasoned
           with
           Sinamon
           ,
           Nutmegs
           ,
           and
           Sugar
           .
           When
           dinner
           was
           ready
           ,
           I
           was
           set
           at
           the
           vpper
           end
           of
           the
           Table
           ,
           my
           owne
           company
           set
           round
           about
           me
           ,
           and
           the
           rest
           eat
           with
           the
           seruants
           .
           We
           had
           Brawne
           of
           their
           owne
           feeding
           ,
           Beefe
           of
           their
           owne
           killing
           ;
           wee
           had
           braue
           plum
           broth
           in
           bole-dishes
           of
           a
           quart
           .
           The
           White-loafe
           ranne
           vp
           and
           downe
           the
           Table
           ,
           like
           a
           Bowle
           in
           an
           Alley
           ,
           euery
           man
           might
           haue
           a
           fling
           at
           him
           :
           the
           March
           Beere
           march'd
           vp
           and
           downe
           ,
           and
           wee
           were
           all
           merry
           without
           the
           helpe
           of
           any
           Musicians
           .
           We
           had
           good
           cheere
           ,
           and
           good
           welcome
           which
           was
           worth
           all
           :
           for
           the
           Good-man
           of
           the
           house
           did
           not
           looke
           with
           a
           sower
           or
           stoicall
           brow
           ,
           but
           was
           full
           of
           mirth
           and
           alacrity
           ,
           so
           that
           it
           made
           the
           house
           merry
           .
        
         
           A
           ,
           ha
           ,
           quoth
           I
           ,
           this
           is
           something
           like
           ,
           our
           dinner
           is
           better
           than
           our
           breakfast
           ,
           this
           is
           as
           Christmas
           would
           haue
           it
           ,
           here
           is
           neither
           too
           delicate
           cheere
           ,
           which
           doth
           cost
           much
           ,
           or
           will
           cause
           surfeits
           ,
           or
           too
           little
           or
           meane
           ,
           but
           such
           as
           will
           kill
           hunger
           .
           They
           are
           the
           best
           feasts
           where
           the
           poore
           are
           releeued
           ,
           the
           rich
           are
           able
           to
           helpe
           themselues
           .
        
         
           Dinner
           being
           done
           ,
           Grace
           being
           said
           ,
           the
           Cloth
           taken
           away
           ,
           the
           poore
           refresh'd
           ,
           wee
           went
           to
           the
           fire
           :
           before
           which
           ,
           lay
           store
           of
           Apples
           piping
           hot
           ,
           expecting
           a
           bole
           of
           Ale
           to
           coole
           themselues
           in
           .
           Euening
           Prayer
           drew
           nigh
           ,
           so
           we
           all
           repaired
           to
           Church
           ,
           where
           I
           heard
           my selfe
           much
           spoken
           of
           ,
           but
           after
           Seruice
           was
           done
           ,
           few
           respected
           me
           :
           some
           indeed
           ,
           inuited
           me
           to
           their
           houses
           ,
           but
           I
           thought
           my
           entertainment
           would
           not
           bee
           worth
           my
           labour
           ,
           considering
           my
           company
           :
           so
           went
           I
           home
           againe
           with
           my
           honest
           Hobnaile-wearer
           ,
           with
           whom
           I
           past
           the
           time
           away
           in
           discourse
           while
           supper
           ,
           which
           being
           ended
           ,
           wee
           went
           to
           Cards
           .
           Some
           sung
           Carrols
           ,
           
           merry
           songs
           ,
           some
           againe
           to
           waste
           the
           long
           nights
           ,
           would
           tell
           Winter-tales
           .
           At
           last
           came
           in
           a
           company
           of
           Maids
           with
           Wassell
           ,
           Wassell
           ,
           iolly
           Wassell
           :
           I
           tasted
           of
           their
           Cakes
           ,
           and
           sup'd
           of
           their
           Bole
           :
           and
           for
           my
           sake
           ,
           the
           White-loafe
           and
           Cheese
           were
           set
           before
           them
           ,
           with
           Minee-Pies
           ,
           and
           other
           meat
           .
           These
           being
           gone
           ,
           the
           iolly
           youths
           and
           plaine
           dealing
           Plow-swaines
           ,
           being
           weary
           of
           Cards
           ,
           fell
           to
           dancing
           ;
           from
           dancing
           to
           shew
           mee
           some
           Gambols
           .
           Some
           ventured
           the
           breaking
           of
           their
           shinnes
           to
           make
           mee
           sport
           ,
           some
           the
           scalding
           of
           their
           lippes
           to
           catch
           at
           Apples
           tyed
           at
           the
           end
           of
           a
           sticke
           ,
           hauing
           a
           lighted
           candle
           at
           the
           other
           ;
           some
           shod
           the
           wilde
           Mare
           ;
           some
           at
           hotcockles
           ,
           and
           the
           like
           .
           These
           Country
           reuels
           expiring
           with
           the
           night
           ,
           early
           in
           the
           morning
           we
           all
           tooke
           our
           leaue
           of
           them
           ,
           being
           loth
           to
           be
           too
           troublesome
           ;
           and
           rendring
           them
           vnfained
           thanks
           for
           our
           good
           cheere
           (
           who
           still
           desired
           that
           we
           would
           stay
           with
           them
           a
           little
           longer
           )
           wee
           instantly
           trauelled
           towards
           the
           City
           .
        
         
           Being
           entred
           into
           it
           ,
           we
           saw
           very
           few
           look
           with
           a
           smiling
           countenance
           on
           vs
           ,
           but
           a
           few
           Prentices
           or
           Iourneymen
           that
           were
           trick'd
           vp
           in
           their
           Holliday
           cloathes
           ;
           but
           we
           coniectured
           their
           Masters
           were
           not
           vp
           ,
           or
           else
           wee
           could
           not
           goe
           so
           farre
           vnbidden
           .
           At
           last
           the
           Bels
           began
           to
           ring
           ,
           euery
           house-holder
           began
           to
           bestirre
           himselfe
           ,
           the
           Maid-seruants
           wee
           saw
           run
           hurrying
           to
           the
           Cookes
           shops
           with
           Pies
           ,
           and
           the
           Iacks
           went
           as
           nimbly
           as
           any
           of
           the
           wiues
           tongues
           :
           and
           before
           we
           were
           aware
           ,
           whole
           Parishes
           of
           people
           came
           to
           inuite
           vs
           to
           dinner
           :
           Some
           tooke
           me
           by
           the
           hands
           and
           would
           haue
           me
           his
           guest
           ,
           another
           tooke
           Saint
           Stephen
           ;
           a
           third
           ,
           Saint
           Iohn
           ;
           a
           fourth
           ,
           Childermasse
           ;
           but
           New-yeares
           day
           was
           welcome
           to
           them
           all
           ,
           especially
           to
           the
           rich
           ;
           but
           all
           this
           while
           the
           poore
           was
           not
           look'd
           on
           ,
           they
           were
           not
           inuited
           :
           It
           grieued
           me
           ,
           as
           it
           did
           them
           (
           poore
           soules
           )
           and
           I
           spake
           as
           much
           as
           I
           could
           for
           them
           ;
           but
           I
           was
           answered
           ,
           the
           Parish
           had
           
           taken
           order
           for
           the
           poore
           already
           ,
           and
           that
           their
           houses
           were
           onely
           for
           their
           friends
           ,
           and
           not
           Beggers
           ;
           and
           for
           my
           part
           ,
           if
           I
           would
           stay
           with
           them
           for
           a
           weeke
           or
           so
           ,
           I
           should
           bee
           as
           welcome
           to
           them
           as
           any
           of
           their
           rich
           neighbours
           .
        
         
           Alas
           ,
           alas
           ,
           said
           I
           ,
           is
           Charity
           as
           well
           as
           Conscience
           banish'd
           out
           of
           your
           freedome
           ?
           How
           can
           you
           make
           me
           truly
           welcome
           ,
           except
           the
           poore
           feed
           with
           me
           ?
           It
           doth
           me
           more
           good
           to
           see
           a
           prisoner
           releas'd
           ,
           and
           the
           poore
           man
           relieued
           ,
           than
           taste
           of
           your
           daintiest
           meat
           .
           Yet
           I
           will
           confesse
           I
           haue
           scene
           many
           famous
           and
           memorable
           deeds
           done
           by
           well-disposed
           Citizens
           ;
           the
           Hospitals
           and
           other
           charitable
           houses
           can
           witnesse
           it
           ,
           and
           that
           some
           in
           these
           daies
           follow
           the
           foot-steps
           of
           their
           predecessors
           ;
           
             but
             the
             present
          
           compared
           to
           those
           past
           ,
           are
           no
           more
           in
           comparison
           than
           the
           least
           Starre
           to
           the
           Sunne
           ,
           or
           a
           Gloworme
           to
           a
           Starre
           .
           Charity
           in
           those
           times
           was
           in
           her
           youth
           ,
           in
           her
           prime
           ,
           in
           her
           perfect
           ripenesse
           ;
           now
           shee
           is
           old
           ,
           decrepit
           ,
           and
           lame
           :
           for
           she
           is
           seldome
           seene
           walking
           in
           the
           streets
           ,
           shee
           is
           now
           onely
           an
           Vmbra
           ,
           a
           Shadow
           ,
           a
           Ghost
           :
           her
           substance
           is
           vanish'd
           ;
           nay
           ,
           shee
           is
           dead
           :
           And
           will
           you
           know
           when
           shee
           died
           ?
           I
           will
           tell
           you
           ,
           When
           Prodigality
           ,
           Drunkennesse
           ,
           and
           Excesse
           began
           
           to
           liue
           ,
           then
           she
           died
           ;
           their
           generation
           was
           her
           destruction
           .
           When
           Prodigality
           spent
           as
           much
           one
           day
           as
           would
           keepe
           her
           a
           moneth
           ;
           when
           Pride
           wore
           as
           many
           cloathes
           on
           her
           backe
           as
           would
           cloath
           an
           Hospitall
           of
           fatherlesse
           children
           ;
           when
           Drunkennesse
           swallowed
           ,
           in
           the
           whirlepoole
           of
           his
           belly
           ,
           more
           drinke
           at
           one
           draught
           than
           would
           quench
           the
           thirsts
           of
           many
           poore
           children
           ;
           when
           Gluttony
           spent
           more
           at
           one
           meale
           than
           would
           content
           many
           hungry
           Lazars
           ;
           when
           Farmers
           began
           to
           make
           their
           sonnes
           Gentlemen
           ,
           and
           young
           Gentlemen
           began
           to
           be
           deuoured
           by
           Vsurers
           :
           then
           ,
           then
           ,
           Charity
           lay
           on
           her
           sicke-bed
           ,
           nay
           ,
           on
           her
           death-bed
           .
           Will
           you
           
           know
           when
           she
           was
           in
           her
           perfect
           health
           ?
           I
           will
           tell
           you
           .
           
           When
           Gentlemen
           did
           not
           know
           what
           a
           yard
           of
           Sattin
           ,
           Veluet
           ,
           Cloth
           of
           Gold
           ,
           or
           Tissue
           is
           worth
           ;
           when
           gold
           and
           siluer
           lace
           were
           not
           seen
           in
           Cheap-side
           ;
           when
           BeuerHats
           ,
           blew
           ,
           red
           ,
           yellow
           ,
           and
           greene
           Starch
           were
           not
           worne
           ;
           when
           Lords
           went
           in
           good
           Cloth
           ,
           and
           their
           Seruingmen
           in
           good
           Frize
           ,
           or
           Stuffe
           ;
           when
           the
           Gentry
           did
           not
           know
           what
           did
           belong
           to
           Tobacco
           ,
           Anchouies
           ,
           Chauiare
           ,
           and
           Pickled-Oysters
           ;
           when
           such
           walking-Spirits
           as
           Foot-boyes
           and
           Pages
           went
           inuisible
           ;
           when
           we
           went
           not
           hurrying
           along
           the
           streets
           in
           their
           French
           Carts
           ,
           as
           fast
           as
           if
           the
           Diuell
           had
           beene
           the
           Coach-man
           :
           then
           ,
           then
           .
           Charity
           was
           well
           ,
           was
           in
           health
           ,
           and
           look'd
           cheerefully
           .
        
         
           The
           Roman
           Catholikes
           boast
           they
           haue
           Charity
           liuing
           with
           them
           (
           which
           they
           reuerence
           as
           much
           as
           they
           doe
           their
           Saints
           )
           by
           which
           ,
           with
           the
           helpe
           of
           good
           works
           they
           hope
           to
           merite
           .
           Alas
           ,
           alas
           ,
           they
           are
           deceiued
           ,
           their
           Charity
           will
           doe
           them
           little
           good
           ,
           except
           they
           haue
           the
           helpe
           of
           her
           elder
           sister
           ,
           Faith.
           Therefore
           I
           thinke
           it
           not
           amisse
           ,
           if
           the
           Romanists
           would
           borrow
           some
           of
           our
           Faith
           for
           some
           of
           their
           Charity
           and
           good
           deeds
           ,
           for
           wee
           wnnt
           one
           ,
           as
           much
           as
           they
           doe
           the
           other
           .
        
         
           But
           I
           beginne
           to
           bee
           weary
           with
           talking
           thus
           to
           no
           purpose
           :
           Therefore
           England
           ,
           beautifull
           ,
           fruitfull
           ,
           and
           yet
           blessed
           Land
           ,
           take
           heed
           lest
           thy
           Gluttony
           ,
           Pride
           ,
           and
           Excesse
           ,
           Couetousnesse
           ,
           Bribery
           ,
           and
           Extortion
           ,
           haue
           that
           Adamantine
           force
           to
           pull
           downe
           Heauens
           Iudgements
           on
           thee
           as
           they
           did
           on
           Sodome
           .
           Thou
           art
           as
           sumptuous
           as
           that
           City
           was
           ,
           be
           not
           thou
           so
           sinfull
           .
           Before
           it
           was
           burnt
           it
           was
           compared
           to
           a
           Garden
           ,
           nay
           ,
           to
           a
           Paradise
           for
           the
           neat
           and
           pleasant
           scituation
           ,
           and
           the
           happy
           plentifulnesse
           of
           all
           things
           :
           But
           now
           it
           is
           a
           place
           destitute
           of
           water
           and
           fruit
           ;
           onely
           ,
           there
           are
           such
           growing
           ,
           that
           onely
           delight
           the
           eye
           ,
           but
           deride
           the
           touch
           and
           taste
           :
           for
           on
           those
           stinking
           and
           burnt
           bankes
           ,
           grow
           Apples
           ,
           that
           being
           toucht
           fall
           in
           dust
           .
           Thou
           maist
           be
           so
           ,
           
           thou
           wilt
           be
           so
           ,
           except
           some
           of
           thy
           fulnesse
           haue
           vent
           toward
           the
           poore
           .
        
         
           Thou
           art
           such
           a
           fortunate
           Iland
           ,
           that
           Histrographers
           write
           of
           ,
           blest
           with
           an
           excellent
           temperature
           of
           Ayre
           ,
           and
           singular
           Clemencie
           of
           Heauen
           :
           where
           about
           March
           ,
           the
           Spring
           begins
           to
           cloath
           the
           earth
           in
           a
           Summer
           liuery
           .
           Heauen
           is
           bountifull
           and
           patient
           ,
           bee
           thou
           penitent
           and
           thankfull
           .
        
         
           But
           as
           I
           was
           going
           forward
           with
           my
           Admonition
           ,
           they
           stop'd
           my
           mouth
           by
           their
           entreating
           me
           to
           be
           their
           guest
           for
           three
           or
           foure
           daies
           :
           so
           for
           such
           a
           small
           quantity
           of
           time
           ,
           I
           bestowed
           my selfe
           among
           them
           .
           But
           I
           was
           the
           most
           royallest
           ,
           noblest
           ,
           and
           worthiliest
           entertained
           at
           Court
           ,
           Innes
           of
           Court
           and
           Temples
           ,
           where
           I
           was
           resident
           while
           Candlemas
           ,
           and
           then
           left
           this
           Land.
           
        
         
           FINIS
           .
        
      
    
     
       
         
         
           A
           Christmas
           CARROLL
           ,
        
         
           To
           the
           tune
           of
           Poore
           TOM
           .
        
         
           
             REioyce
             ,
             reioyce
             ,
             this
             day
             is
             come
          
           
             Saluation
             vnto
             Christendome
             :
          
           
             All
             that
             will
             heare
             their
             blest
             Redeemers
             voyce
             ,
          
           
             Let
             them
             all
             with
             mirth
             reioyce
             ,
             reioyce
             .
          
           
             The
             Sauiour
             of
             the
             world
             is
             borne
             ,
          
           
             To
             ransome
             vs
             that
             were
             forlorne
             :
          
           
             He
             left
             the
             Heauens
             ,
             and
             came
             to
             vs
             on
             earth
             ,
          
           
             And
             from
             a
             blessed
             Virgins
             wombe
             had
             birth
             .
          
           
             Here
             a
             mighty
             mystery
             well
             was
             wrought
             ,
          
           
             whose
             depth
             no
             man
             can
             gather
             ;
          
           
             A
             Mayden-mother
             pure
             ,
             a
             Sonne
             forth
             brought
             ,
          
           
             and
             no
             man
             was
             the
             father
             :
          
           
             God
             aboue
             ,
             with
             peace
             and
             loue
             ,
          
           
             The
             sinfull
             world
             possessed
          
           
             With
             heauenly
             treasure
             ,
             past
             all
             measure
             ,
          
           
             Who
             is
             euer
             blessed
             .
          
           
             He
             this
             day
             to
             Grace
             a
             feast
             ,
          
           
             sent
             his
             Sonne
             to
             be
             a
             Guest
             :
          
           
             Let
             vs
             then
             ,
             like
             thankfull
             men
          
           
             giue
             entertainment
             to
             him
             :
          
           
             And
             let
             vs
             still
             with
             heart
             and
             will
             ,
          
           
             our
             best
             of
             seruice
             doe
             him
             :
          
           
           
             Himselfe
             for
             vs
             he
             hath
             giuen
             ,
          
           
             to
             draw
             vs
             from
             earth
             to
             heauen
             .
          
           
             Therefore
             for
             all
             his
             paine
             ,
          
           
             let
             's
             giue
             him
             our selues
             againe
             .
          
        
         
           
             TO
             wipe
             away
             our
             sinnes
             great
             summes
             ,
          
           
             Gods
             Sonne
             and
             heire
             in
             person
             comes
             ;
          
           
             He
             left
             his
             glorious
             and
             Immortall
             throne
             ,
          
           
             and
             vnderneath
             his
             Fathers
             curse
             did
             
               groane
            
             :
          
           
             Downe
             from
             the
             heauens
             to
             the
             earth
             he
             came
             ,
          
           
             to
             honour
             vs
             he
             tooke
             our
             shame
             ;
          
           
             He
             suffer'd
             death
             that
             we
             might
             liue
             thereby
             ,
          
           
             and
             through
             his
             merits
             reigne
             eternally
             .
          
           
             Seeing
             he
             hath
             with
             his
             precious
             blood
          
           
             wash'd
             cleare
             our
             foule
             offences
             ,
          
           
             How
             can
             we
             render
             any
             thing
          
           
             that
             may
             be
             recompences
             ,
          
           
             Since
             we
             may
             not
             any
             way
          
           
             giue
             any
             thing
             worth
             taking
             ;
          
           
             Or
             all
             that
             can
             be
             done
             by
             man
             ,
          
           
             no
             satisfaction
             making
             :
          
           
             Let
             vs
             doe
             as
             Dauid
             sayes
             ,
          
           
             giue
             him
             honour
             ,
             laud
             and
             praise
             .
          
           
             Let
             Christmas
             day
             put
             vs
             in
             minde
             ,
          
           
             that
             Christ
             was
             borne
             this
             day
             :
          
           
             Let
             's
             entertaine
             him
             here
             ,
             that
             we
          
           
             may
             entertaine
             him
             aye
             .
          
           
             That
             we
             all
             with
             one
             heart
             and
             desire
             ,
          
           
             amidst
             the
             
               Celestiall
            
             Quire
          
           
             All
             honour
             and
             praise
             may
             sing
             ,
          
           
             to
             Christ
             our
             heauenly
             King.
             
          
        
         
           FINIS
           .
        
      
       
         
         
           A
           CATALOGVE
           OF
           ALL
           M
           r
           IOHN
           TAYLORS
           seuerall
           Bookes
           ,
           Printed
           together
           in
           one
           Volumne
           in
           Folio
           .
        
         
           TAylors
           Vrania
           .
        
         
           
             
               The
               first
               part
               of
               the
               troubles
               and
               destructions
               of
            
             Ierusalem
             .
          
           
             
               The
               second
               part
               and
               finall
               destruction
               of
            
             Ierusalem
             by
             Titus
             and
             Vespasian
             .
          
           
             
               The
               life
               and
               death
               of
               the
               most
               blessed
               amongst
               women
               ,
               the
               Virgin
            
             Mary
             ,
             
               the
               mother
               of
               our
               Lord
            
             Iesus
             Christ.
             
          
           
             Superbiae
             flagellum
             ,
             
               or
               the
               Whip
               of
               Pride
            
             .
          
           
             
               Against
               cursing
               and
               swearing
            
             .
          
           
             
               The
               fearefull
               Summer
            
             .
          
           
             
               The
               Trauels
               of
               tweluepence
            
             .
          
           
             
               The
               Armado
               ,
               or
               Nauy
               of
               Ships
               that
               saile
               as
               well
               by
               land
               as
               by
               sea
               .
            
          
           
             
               The
               Begger
               ,
               or
               the
               praise
               of
               Beggers
               beggery
               &
               begging
               .
            
          
           
             
               Taylors
               Goose.
            
             
          
           
             
               Iacke
               a
               Lent.
            
             
          
           
             
               Taylors
               pennilesse
               Pilgrimage
               ,
               or
               Iourney
               (
               without
               money
               )
               from
            
             London
             to
             Edenborough
             in
             Scotland
             ,
             
               and
               backe
               to
            
             London
             .
          
           
             
             
               The
               Acts
               and
               exploits
               of
            
             Wood
             
               the
               great
               Eater
               in
            
             Kent
             .
          
           
             
               Sir
               Gregory
               Nonsence
               ▪
            
          
           
             
               A
               very
               merry
               Wherry
               voyage
               from
            
             London
             to
             Yorke
             
               with
               a
               paire
               of
               Oares
            
             .
          
           
             
               A
               new
               Difcouery
               ,
               (
               by
               sea
               )
               with
               a
               Wherry
               ,
               from
            
             London
             to
             Salisbury
             .
          
           
             
               A
               Kicksie
               winsie
               ,
               or
               a
               Lerry
               
                 cum
              
               Twang
               .
            
          
           
             
               Taylors
               Motto
            
             .
          
           
             
               An
               Epicedium
               or
               mournfull
               death-song
               for
            
             Coriats
             
               supposed
               drowning
            
             .
          
           
             
               The
               eighth
               Wonder
               of
               the
               world
               ,
               or
            
             Coriats
             reuiuing
             .
          
           
             
               Laugh
               and
               be
               fat
            
             .
          
           
             Coriats
             
               Newes
               and
               Letter
               with
               the
               Authors
               paraphasing
               verses
               .
            
          
           
             
               A
               Bawd
               very
               modest
            
             .
          
           
             
               A
               Whore
               very
               honest
            
             .
          
           
             
               A
               Theese
               very
               true
            
             .
          
           
             
               A
               Hangman
               very
               necessary
            
             .
          
           
             
               The
               vnnaturall
               Father
            
             .
          
           
             
               Taylors
               Reuenge
               against
            
             Fenner
             .
          
           
             Fenners
             Defence
             .
          
           
             
               A
               Caft
               ouer
               the
               water
               to
            
             Fenner
             .
          
           
             
               The
               Water-mans
               suite
               concerning
               Players
            
             .
          
           
             
               Wit
               and
               mirth
            
             .
          
           
             
               A
               Dogge
               of
               Warre
            
             .
          
           
             
               The
               World
               runs
               on
               wheeles
            
             .
          
           
             
               The
               nipping
               or
               snipping
               of
               abuses
               .
            
          
           
             
               A
               briefe
               of
               the
               Chronicle
               from
            
             Brute
             
               to
               this
               present
               in
               Verse
            
             .
          
           
             
               A
               briefe
               of
               the
               Chronicle
               from
               the
               Norman
               Conquest
               to
               this
               present
               .
            
          
           
             
             
               A
               Farewell
               to
               the
               Towre
               bottles
               .
            
          
           
             
               The
               Marriage
               of
               the
               Princesse
            
             Elizabeth
             .
          
           
             
               A
               funerall
               Elegy
               for
               King
            
             Iames.
             
          
           
             
               A
               funerall
               Elegie
               for
               the
               Earle
               of
            
             Nottingham
             .
          
           
             
               A
               funerall
               Elegie
               for
               the
               Earle
               of
            
             Holdernesse
             .
          
           
             
               A
               funerall
               Elegie
               for
               the
               Bishop
               of
            
             Winchester
             .
          
           
             
               A
               funerall
               Elegie
               for
               the
               Duke
               of
            
             Richmond
             and
             Lenox
             .
          
           
             
               A
               funerall
               Elegie
               for
            
             Iohn
             Moray
             Esquire
             .
          
        
         
           
             These
             Bookes
             in
             number
             sixty
             three
             are
             heere
             ,
          
           
             Bound
             in
             one
             Volume
             ,
             scattred
             here
             and
             there
             :
          
           
             They
             stand
             not
             thus
             in
             order
             in
             the
             booke
             ,
          
           
             But
             any
             man
             may
             finde
             them
             that
             will
             looke
             .
          
        
         
           FINIS
           .
        
      
       
         Notes, typically marginal, from the original text
         
           Notes for div A13436-e600
           
             Corin.
             15.
             
          
           
             An
             old
             Seruingmans
             complaint
             to
             Christmas
             .
          
           
             Note
             .
          
           
             Christmas
             survey
             thorowout
             the
             house
             .
          
           
             The
             Hall.
             
          
           
             The
             Iacke
             .
          
           
             The
             Tables
             .
          
           
             Mince-pies
             were
             quite
             forgot
             ,
             also
             plum-broth
             
          
           
             Buttery
             .
          
           
             Kitchen
             .
          
           
             The
             Iacke
             on
             the
             Mantletree
             .
          
           
             Larder
             .
          
           
             Dairie
             .
          
           
             The
             discription
             of
             the
             Vserer
             .
          
           
             Christmas
             to
             the
             Curmudgion
             .
          
           
             Note
             .
          
           
             Anagram
             .
             Pecunia
             cui
             pena
             
          
           
             A
             Farmer
             .
          
           
             When
             Charity
             began
             to
             sicken
             .
          
           
             When
             in
             her
             prime
             .
          
        
      
    
  

