# bib

id: A28301
author: Blackmore, Richard, Sir, d. 1729.
title: A satyr against wit
date: 1700.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 4022
sentence: 211
flesch: 81
cache: cache/A28301.xml
txt: txt/A28301.txt
summary:
  What to discharge it can we hope to raise From D — fy's , or from Poet D — n — 's Plays , Or G — th's Lampoon with little in 't but Praise ? O S — er , T — bot , D — set , M — gue , Gr — y , Sh — ld , C — d — sh , P — ke , V — n , you Who in Parnassus have Imperial Sway , Whom all the Muses Subjects here obey , Are in your Service and receive your Pay ; Exert your Soveraign Power , in Judgment sit To regulate the Nation 's Grievance , Wit. The Plague of Wit prevails , I fear 't is vain Now to attempt its Fury to restrain .


id: A66814
author: Frith, John.
date: 1673.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 5315
sentence: 93
flesch: 43
cache: cache/A66814.xml
txt: txt/A66814.txt
title:
  The witty jests and mad pranks of John Frith commonly called, the merry-conceited-mason, brother and fellow-traveller : with Captain James Hinde the famous high-way-man.

summary:
  How he served one Anthony Topley which led a Bear about the Countrey . ONe Anthony Topley that lived once a Bisley , having a small parcel of Land lett him by his Father , sold the same , and bought with that moneys a great Year , and a Bear-dog , and hired a man to travel with him ; one time , lodging by a Market-town in the night ▪ his bear brake into the Ale-Cellar , and drank as long as he could find the way up into a Chamber or loft finds a bed , lies down upon it , and falls asleep ; it hapned that a man and two women lay in that bed ; they wak'd , feeling so heavy a weight upon their feet , and having such strong puffings , put forth their hands to feel what it was , and by the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and roughness , their actions being 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 concluded it to be the devil , and so 〈◊〉 all 〈…〉 cross the house ; and 〈◊〉 being 〈◊〉 , cried out in a most horrible manner The devil , the devil , the devil , help Neighbors , good Neighbors help ; John that was su●pected to let the bear loose ▪ bring● in the Watch , where they found 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 drunk , and the three in the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 rehearsed ▪ all three was sent to Bridewel ●o beat hemp . How he found the aforesaid Topley with his Bear. FRith , as is before rehearsed , being taxed for letting the bear loose , sought revenge on Topley , and so dissembled the m●●●er , that he pro●●r'd assistance to 〈◊〉 , and travelling from Stableforth to Nottingham in hot weather , between Bramcote and Hemlock-hills , his bear being lazy , went into a Pond , and was hard to be gotten forth again : John with his three Gentlemen , riding 〈◊〉 after , 〈◊〉 the Bear laid down at the end of he fallow lands , where the husbandmen were plowing , perswades him to have him drawn by horses , immediately appear a kennel of hounds hunting the Hare on Bramcote-hills with open cry : Anthony fearing his bear would be torn in pieces by the hounds , gave a shilling to the Plough-men , they clapt on their Plough-chains on the bears collar , lashes their horses , John and his men hollow , the bear roars and foams , the horse● hearing so hideous a noise , smelling such a terrible stink , run a full mile towards Lenton , then stopt at a gate that goes into Lenton fields , just opposite to Woollerton-Hall , which is said to have as many windows in it as there are days in the year ; but coming up to the bear they found him as dead as all herring , his head pluckt clear from his shoulders , but John rid strait away to Nottingham ; upon this the free-school-boys made these verses following , Anthony Topley that unluckie heir , Sold his land and bought a bear ; He went to Nottingham to tan his skin , To make a bag to beg bread in .


id: A85877
author: Gayton, Edmund, 1608-1666.
date: 1659.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 5873
sentence: 170
flesch: 67
cache: cache/A85877.xml
txt: txt/A85877.txt
title:
  Walk knaves, walk. A discourse intended to have been spoken at court and now publish'd for the satisfaction of all those that have participated of the svveetness of publike employments. By Hodg Tvrbervil, chaplain to the late Lord Hevvson.

summary:
  Buy ye waxed Boots . Now because the times are bad , and the winter approaches , therefore buy ye wax'd Boots .


id: A13376
author: Tarlton, Richard, d. 1588, attributed name.
date: 1638.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 12387
sentence: 524
flesch: 81
cache: cache/A13376.xml
txt: txt/A13376.txt
title:
  Tarltons jests Drawne into these three parts. 1 His court-witty iests. 2 His sound city iests. 3 His countrey pretty iests. Full of delight, wit, and honest mirth.

summary:
  A Wag-halter Boy met Tarlton in the stréet , and said , Master Tarlton , who liues longest ? Mary Boy , saies Tarlton , he that dies latest : and why dye men so fast , said the Boy ? Because they want breath , said Tarlton : no , rather said the Boy , because their time is come : thē thy time is come , said Tarlton , sée who comes yonder : Who ? said the Boy ? Mary , said Tarlton , Bull the Hangman : or one that would willingly be thy hangman : Nay , hang me thē , if I imploy him at this time , said the Boy . When euery one returned home , some at Supper commended his Hound , others his Hawke , and shée aboue all , her Horse : and , said she , I loue no liuing creature so well ( at this instant ) as my gallant horse : yes Lady , a man better , saies Tarlton .


id: A59997
author: Shirley, James, 1596-1666.
date: 1648.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 12050
sentence: 1452
flesch: 94
cache: cache/A59997.xml
txt: txt/A59997.txt
title:
  VVits labyrinth, or, A briefe and compendious abstract of most witty, ingenious, wise, and learned sentences and phrases together with some hundreds of most pithy, facetious and patheticall complementall expressions / collected, compiled and set forth for the benefit, pleasure or delight of all, but principally the English nobility and gentry by J.S., gent.

summary:
  The next is for the benefit , pleasure , or delight of the Reader , especially now in these sad and disconsolate times , it being a great refreshment , and recreation to the minde of man , ( by way of divertion ) to take him off from the consideration of these danger-threatning times , and entertaine his thoughts , sometimes with sweete variety of matter , according to that saying : Interpone tuis , interdum gaudea curis , Heaven is the object of the soule of man .


id: A13520
author: Taylor, John, 1580-1653.
date: 1628.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 14257
sentence: 363
flesch: 66
cache: cache/A13520.xml
txt: txt/A13520.txt
title:
  Wit and mirth chargeably collected out of tauernes, ordinaries, innes, bowling greenes, and allyes, alehouses, tobacco shops, highwaies, and water-passages : made vp, and fashioned into clinches, bulls, quirkes, yerkes, quips, and ierkes : apothegmatically bundled vp and garbled at the request of old Iohn Garrets ghost / by Iohn Taylor, water-poet.

summary:
  ( 113 ) A 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 eye chanced to 〈◊〉 a man in the field , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hath 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , the other man 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 , whereat the 〈◊〉 man suddenly cast downe his Rapier 〈◊〉 Buenas noches , which in the Spanish tongue is goodnight . 〈◊〉 after they 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 of an houre , no man 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 any man knowing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : at 〈◊〉 a young man that neuer 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , said , Gentlemen , it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 speake


id: A20101
author: Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632.
date: 1607.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 22275
sentence: 468
flesch: 56
cache: cache/A20101.xml
txt: txt/A20101.txt
title:
  Iests to make you merie with the coniuring vp of Cock VVatt, (the walking spirit of Newgate) to tell tales. Vnto which is added, the miserie of a prison, and a prisoner. And a paradox in praise of serieants. Written by T.D. and George Wilkins.

summary:
  Now to our Foysts , alias , pickpocket , alias cutpurse , he has as many alias as a good gentleman of Wales ▪ and indéede is as good a benefactor to the alehouse hee consists of an army of three strong ▪ namely , foystes and snaps , his common wealth to liue in , or ground to encamp in , is the antient great grand father Powles , & all other little churches his children , besides Parish garden , or rather ( places of more benefit ) publick , & by your leaue priuat play houses Westminster hall is his good soyle , the dark entry going to the Six clarcks office , in chancary lau● his in the tearme time his deere and speciall good friend , London bridge his bountifull benefactor , all markets are his pur●eiors , and carefully prouide for him all faires his diligent factors , that bring him in his prouision in abundance , all pockets his exchequor , that are neuer shut against him , progr●sses his true paymaisters , though they pay seldome-in y ● Court or cock-pit , though the King himselfe be there , he dare incounter , he pri●e●●●ges no person , nor no place exempt with him , only the Exchange excepted , for saies he , where merchants méete , is no méeting for vs , If they once take vs , we are sure tog● to the old turn , for they are men deale all with great store of money , & very little mercy , the times when his skirmishes are hottest , is y ● time when they run attilt , is the day the Lord Mayor takes his oath , a new play , or whē some great cause is hard at the Star Chamber , now for the person himselfe that dus pick the pocket , and his ministers about him that giue furtherance to the action . if it bee seasoned with iudgement : but if with too much tar●ness● , it is hardly disgested but turne to quarrel .


id: A18367
author: A. S.
date: 1636.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 26280
sentence: 1077
flesch: 79
cache: cache/A18367.xml
txt: txt/A18367.txt
title:
  The Booke of bulls, baited with two centuries of bold jests, and nimble-lies, or, A Combat betweene sence and non-sence, being at strife who shall infuse most myrth into the gentle-reader a treatise in variety of pleasure second to none ever yet printed in the English-tongue : wherein is contained nothing alreadie published / collected by A.S. Gent.

summary:
  Two comming through a field where formes of men are cut in Ewe , the one demanded what such an Image was ; why , quoth the other it is Cain , & the other demanding why Abel was not there also : marry , repli'd his companion , because he kil'd his brother . 133. One who dwelt in Kingstone was asked what good companions lived there ; faith answered he , except I. P. there is not one worth the hanging , as though hee had spoken much in his cōmendations . Well , the day being come , and the company met ; one of the Gentlemen longing to tast it cut a great slash , but the first bit was no sooner in his mouth , then hee spit it out againe , and threw the dish with the meat over his head , crying out with as loude a voyce as men doe fire : I willed the salt Bitch , said hee , to corne mee well a Legge of Porke , and she hath served in a limme of Lots wife .


id: A68702
author: Boorde, Andrew, 1490?-1549.
date: 1626.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 26105
sentence: 950
flesch: 80
cache: cache/A68702.xml
txt: txt/A68702.txt
title:
  The first and best part of Scoggins iests full of witty mirth and pelasant shifts, done by him in France, and other places: being a preseruatiue against melancholy. Gathered by Andrew Boord, Doctor of Physicke.

summary:
  THere is nothing beside the goodnesse of God , that preserue health so much , as honest mirth , especially mirth vsed at dinner and supper , and mirth toward bed , as it doth plainly appeare in the Directions for health : Therefore considering this matter , that mirth is so necessary a thing for man , I published this Booke , named , The Iests of Scogin , to make men merrie : for amongst diuers other Bookes of graue matters that I haue made , my delight hath beene to recreate my mind in making something merrie . Yea , said Scogin . Then said the Scholler , would God ich were , vor dis is able to comber any mans wits aliue .


id: A20519
author: Dobson, George, attributed name.
title: Dobsons drie bobbes sonne and heire to Skoggin. Full of mirth and delightful recreation.
date: 1607.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 33790
sentence: 557
flesch: 37
cache: cache/A20519.xml
txt: txt/A20519.txt
summary:
  NOw is George Dobson taken from his mothers lappe , and left to the care and prouidence of his vnckle sir Thomas , who perceiuing his disposition knauish , thought good in time to hoope him in before hée fell to licking : and knowing , that while the twigge is yong and tender , it is also flexible , to kéepe him from other waggish turns , hée iudged it the best course to set him to the Schooles : and in regarde himselfe vsed to goe twice euery day vnto the Minster , hée could not so well attend him , as his wildnesse required : and fearing againe , that his foolish loue towardes him might induce him to forbeare correction when hée well deserued the same , and the neglect thereof was a certaine meane for euer to vndoe him , hée rather determined to send him to the Church of Saint Nicholas amongst other little children of the Cittie , where hée had not béene thrée dayes , but hée falling at variance with a Merchants sonne of the same towne that was his schoole fellow , he burst his lanthorne booke all to péeces , and the boyes forehead was so sore , that the blood ranne about his eares , neyther could they stay it , but conducted him home to his mother , who when shee sawe the blood of her little sonne , shée well-néere fell into a sowne , and had suncke to the earth , if shée had not béene supported by her husband , who after hee had well viewed it , assured her that the boy was nothing the worse , and then sending for a Surgeon , caused him to stay the bléeding , and to plaister the sore : but albeit there was hope of amendment , yet when the mother knew after what manner it was done , shée bitterly raged against poore Dobson , causing , not onely his Schoole maister seuerely to correct him , but attending sir Thomas his comming from the Cathedrall Church , who was to passe by her shoppe , shée made a grieuous complaint to him against his Nephew , bringing her sonne to the view , and shewed him the greatnesse of the sore , and after a womans manner , whose anger is implacable , and whose reuenge is measurelesse , she tolde sir Thomas , that vnlesse he did punish his nephew for the fact , shee would haue him debarred of comming any more to schoole there , either the maister , if he receiued him , she would haue extruded from his place . But she told him , no , that he should not , for she nothing doubted the fulfilling of his promise , and that shée did not seeke his affliction by way of reuenge , but that he might thereby be warned and deterred from doing so any more , and so séemed to request him to doe it discreetely and without bitternesse : sir Thomas made few more replies , but made haste home to welcome his new guest with the whippe : and though he were sory for the childes hurt , yet hée could not but laugh in his minde , at the knauery of his Nephew , and the chollericke stomacke of the Merchants wife , poore Dobson nothing at all thinking of further conflictes , lamenting onely the breaking of his booke , for which hée not a little sorrowed what answere to make to his vncle : to lie , he estéemed it the worst course that could be , for hée knew his vnckle would sift foorth the trueth , and if hée should be taken with a false report , he was assured to be purged thereof with no lesse than with the best bloud in his breath : so , not able to bethinke himselfe of a reasonable excuse , hée wept no lesse than for his beating receiued at his Maisters handes , exspecting a sharper penaunce .


id: A51187
author: Flatman, Thomas, 1637-1688.
date: 1661.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 33935
sentence: 739
flesch: 56
cache: cache/A51187.xml
txt: txt/A51187.txt
title:
  Don Juan Lamberto: or, a comical history of the late times. The first part. By Montelion Knight of the Oracle, &c.

summary:
  B●ing thus recon●●'d , the Gyant went on with his Proj●ct ; Quoth the Gyant then to himself , what is there that will abide in the Air ? Wherefore he caused great search to be made after a worthy Pedagogue : and at length one was found and brought unto him : To whom the Father of the stripling thus said , Sir Pedagogue , I have here a Son whom I woul● have thee to instruct , and bring up with great care ; the●efore if thou wilt take him , and keep him seven years , and give him such instruction as thou art able , I will after that greatly advance thee and thy generation .


id: A35190
author: Crouch, Humphrey, fl. 1635-1671.
date: 1693.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 34030
sentence: 1068
flesch: 71
cache: cache/A35190.xml
txt: txt/A35190.txt
title:
  England's jests refin'd and improv'd being a choice collection of the merriest jests, smartest repartees, wittiest sayings, and most notable bulls yet extant, with many new ones never before printed to which are added XIII ingenious characters drawn to the life / the whole work compil'd with great care and exactness, and may serve as the witty-man's companion, the busie-man's diversion and the melancholy man's physick and recreation, calculated for the innocent spending of the winter evenings by H.C.

summary:
  It is the common Con●u●ption of the Afternoon , and the Murderer or Maker away of a Rainy Day . 1. APelles the Famous Painter , having drawn the Picture of Al●x●nder the Great on Horseback , and presented it to him , he gave it not that Praise that so exquisite a Piece deserved ; whereupon Apelles desired a Living Horse might be brought , who seeing the Picture , fell ●o ●awing and Neighing , taking it to be a real Rival :


id: A66812
author: Bacon, Francis, 1561-1626. Selections. 1669.
date: 1669.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 36137
sentence: 838
flesch: 58
cache: cache/A66812.xml
txt: txt/A66812.txt
title:
  Witty apophthegms delivered at several times, and upon several occasions by King James, King Charls, the Marquess of Worcester, Francis Lord Bacon, and Sir Thomas Moor ; collected and revised.

summary:
  Thirdly , it maketh men drunken , and light in the head ; so do the vanities of the world , men are drunken therewith . That Monarchicall Government by Secular Kings and Priests , is the only Ordinance of God , and the Republick only a depraved institution of man for depraved ends , as appears manifestly by the whole current of Scripture , even from Adam to the Primitive Church after Christ.


id: A65514
author: Person of quality.
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 39259
sentence: 1542
flesch: 84
cache: cache/A65514.xml
txt: txt/A65514.txt
title:
  Westminster-drollery, or, A choice collection of the newest songs & poems both at court and theaters by a person of quality ; with additions.

summary:
  Where Parents are slaves Their Brats cannot be any other ; Great Wits and great Braves Have alwayes a P●nk to their M●ther . 5. Then away with this Bugbear Vice , You are lost if that you fly me , In Ell●ium ( if you here are nice ) You never shall come nigh me :


id: A15606
author: Herbert, George, 1592-1637.
title: Wits recreations. Selected from the finest fancies of moderne muses
date: 1640.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 42344
sentence: 3219
flesch: 95
cache: cache/A15606.xml
txt: txt/A15606.txt
summary:
  Creta doth love her husband wondro●s well , It needs no proof , for every one can tell : So strong 's her love , tha● if I not mist ake , Yet Virgill for his strain was counted great , And Ovid for his love was bannished quite ; No marvell then if c●ur●ezie grow cold , When hare is prais'd and love it self control'd .


id: A43690
author: Hickes, William, fl. 1671.
date: 1686.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 46015
sentence: 1231
flesch: 70
cache: cache/A43690.xml
txt: txt/A43690.txt
title:
  Coffee-house jests. Refined and enlarged. By the author of the Oxford jests. The fourth edition, with large additions. This may be re-printed, Feb. 25. 1685. R.P.

summary:
  In former times , when first they wore high-crown'd Hatts , every one began to spend their Verdicts on it ; One said they were like Pyramids , a second like Sugar-loaves ; but a third told them plainly they were like Close-stool-pans ; and if the old Philosophers were alive , they 'd wonder to see men put their Heads where their Tails should be ; and therefore 't was certain t was no new Fashion : but Hats that came from their Predecessors , and so by consequence Intail'd Hatts ; and I think I ha 't now . No , Mother , says she , I beg your Pardon for that , for I see you don 't read the Bible often ; For we ought to look upon men from whence we came , and they on the ground from whence they came .


id: A50616
author: Mennes, John, Sir, 1599-1671.
date: 1654.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 61106
sentence: 3857
flesch: 92
cache: cache/A50616.xml
txt: txt/A50616.txt
title:
  Recreation for ingenious head-peeces, or, A pleasant grove for their wits to walk in of epigrams 700, epitaphs 200, fancies a number, fantasticks abundance : with their addition, multiplication, and division.

summary:
  One he fits drinking healthe to such a friend , Then to his Mistris he a health doth send : This publick Captain● health he next doth mean , And then in private to some nasty Que●n ; Nothing but health● of love is his pretence , Till he himselfe hath lost both health and sense . IF new , or old wit , please the Reader best , I 've hope , each man of wit , will be our Guest The new , was fram'd to humour some mens tast ▪ Which if they like not , they may carve the last ▪ Each dish hath sawce belongs to 't ; and you wil● By your dislike , censure the Authors skill ;


id: A95862
author: Burton, Robert, 1577-1640.
date: 1679.0
extension: .xml
mime: application/xml
words: 66131
sentence: 1674
flesch: 62
cache: cache/A95862.xml
txt: txt/A95862.txt
title:
  Versatile ingenium, The Wittie companion, or Jests of all sorts. From citie and countrie, court and universitie. : With an account of the life of the laughing philosopher Democritus of Abder̀a. / By Democritus Junior.

summary:
  The Book-seller to the Intelligent Reader . WEre there books written of the smallest matters , there would be hardly any use of experience ; says a great Person : for as reading is a converse with the wise , so action for the most part is a commerce with fools ; there being in human nature generally more of the fool than of the wise , upon which account those qualities or endowments which take the weaker part of mens minds are observed to prevale infinitly , if practis'd seasonably : such Books therefore are to be esteem'd not as altogether unprofitable that doe awaken our reason , subtilize our wits , and marshal our conceptions of things : a wittie conceit being oftentimes a good convoy of truth , which otherwise could not so handsomly be ferried over : and amidst affairs transacted in the world , it is a matter more politic than one would think smoothly to pass from Jeast to Earnest , and from Earnest to Jeast : yet let me advertise you by the by , that certain things there are which ought to be priviledged from Jeasts ; namely , Religion , Matters of State , great persons any mans present business of importance , and any case that deserveth pittie : tho the present collection being indeed as a Speculum Microcosmi , kind of prospect into the manners , humors and dispositions of men in general , may well be excus'd if in some few places it does not in every point so exactly quadrate to the intentions specified ; it may suffice that we here see what heretofore have been the subjects of human wit , and that we now know for the future what ought not to be , Having enriched themselves with the spoils of others , and not daring to stay any longer in that place , they secretly removed and took a house remote from the former to prevent discovery ; in this house they intended to sell all sorts of Liquors for the entertainment of men , and Women , and therefore the old one thought it requisite to appear in a Garb suitable to that profession , which was very plain , and that she might possess the People with an Opinion that she was ( as so drest ) an innocent harmless Cuckold she behaved her self so simply to her supposed Wife , that every one jndged him what he seemed , and thereupon made addresses to the young one at such convenient times as the old one went abroad on purpose , or was more than ordinary busie below ; by this means they had a very great Trade , especially by that Venery which was winkt at as aforesaid ; in this manner they continued a good while , and I have been credibly informed , that the Mother , ( and supposed Husband to her own Daughter ) when she had a desire to the same satisfactions she had pimpt for her Daughter , she would put on her own Female Habit , and sitting in the house as a customary Plyer , the Daughter frequently by way of a kind return , did play ▪ the Bawd for the Mother so long till they were apprehended , for keeping a disorderly house , and being carryed to a justice upon Examination were found guilty of what was alledged against them and so were committed to Bridewell , the Keeper viewing the Faces of them both very strictly imagin'd he had seen before the Face of the elder which personated the man , but could not for the present tell where ; at length he verily believed she had been formerly under his Jurisdiction , hereupon he seized her doublet , and striping it open , found by lier Breasts what he had suspected ; the former Justice was informed hereof , who sent for them both to appear before him , upon further examination the seeming man was found to be only a lusty woman , and Mother to that young woman she had marryed ; likewise it was proved against the young woman that she had frequently drest her self in mans apparel to enjoy her Amours with the greater security abroad , for which , they were both sent back again to Bridewell , where they were severely lasht for their cheating Metamorphosis .


