bethel, or, a forme for families in which all sorts of both sexes, are soe squarde and framde [sic] by the word, as they may best serue in theire seuerall places, for usefull peices in gods buildinge / by mathew griffith. griffith, matthew, 1599?-1665. 1634 approx. 1 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-iv tiff page image. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2008-09 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a02235 stc 12370a estc s2697 24512933 ocm 24512933 27748 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a02235) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 27748) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1475-1640 ; 1852:25) bethel, or, a forme for families in which all sorts of both sexes, are soe squarde and framde [sic] by the word, as they may best serue in theire seuerall places, for usefull peices in gods buildinge / by mathew griffith. griffith, matthew, 1599?-1665. [1+] p. printed for ro. allott and hen. taunton, and are to be sold at their shops at ye black beare in paules churchyard & in st. dunstons churchyard fleetstreete, london : 1634. imperfect: lacks all but engraved t.p. reproduction of original in the bodleian library. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng family -religious life. 2007-08 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2007-10 aptara keyed and coded from proquest page images 2007-11 elspeth healey sampled and proofread 2007-11 elspeth healey text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion b'ethel : or a forme for families , in which all sorts of both sexes , are soe squarde , and framde by the word , as they may best serue in theire seuerall places , for usefull peices in god's buildinge . by mathew griffith , wee are labourers together with god. 1. corinth's . 3. 9. london printed , for ro : allott and hen : taunton and are to be sold at their shops at the black beare in paules churchyard & in st. dunsons churchyard fleet streete 1634. mr. baxters rules & directions for family duties shewing how every one ought to behave himself in a christian behaviour, suitable to that relation in which god hath placed him : wherein is set forth the duty of parents (required of god) towards their children, likewise childrens duty to their parents, husbands to their wives, and wives to their husbands, masters to their servants, and servants duty to their masters ... baxter, richard, 1615-1691. 1681 approx. 16 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 3 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2006-02 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a27012 wing b1379 estc r6732 12324373 ocm 12324373 59513 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a27012) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 59513) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 201:15) mr. baxters rules & directions for family duties shewing how every one ought to behave himself in a christian behaviour, suitable to that relation in which god hath placed him : wherein is set forth the duty of parents (required of god) towards their children, likewise childrens duty to their parents, husbands to their wives, and wives to their husbands, masters to their servants, and servants duty to their masters ... baxter, richard, 1615-1691. 1 sheet ([1] p.) printed by h. brugis for j. conyers ..., [s.l.] : [1681] extract from the "christian directory". cf. bm. date of publication from wing. imperfect: bottom of page cropped. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng family -early works to 1800. christian life -early works to 1800. broadsides -england -17th century. 2005-07 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2005-09 apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images 2005-11 emma (leeson) huber sampled and proofread 2005-11 emma (leeson) huber text and markup reviewed and edited 2006-01 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion mr. baxters rules & directions for family duties . shewing how every one ought to behave himself in a christian behaviour , suitable to that relation in which god hath placed him . wherein is set forth the duty of parents ( required of god ) towards their children ; likewise childrens duty to their parents . husbands to their wives , and wives to their husbands . masters to servants , and servants duty to their masters . a work of great use , the serious practise thereof would establish peace and prosperity in all families , and promote the power of godliness throughout the nation . and necessary to be set up in every house . josh . 24. chap. 15. ver . as for mee and my house , we will serve the lord , psal . 50. 23. to him that ordereth his conversation aright , will i shew the salvation of the lord. the obligations and duty of parents required of god towards their children , in their educating of them in godliness . be sure in the first place , that you do your part in entring them at first into the baptismal covenant ; 1. see that you be true to your covenant your self , for the promise is made to the true christians and their seed , eph. 2 ch. 13. gen. 17 ch. 4. 13. 14. 2ly , do not think that his bare being the child of godly parents , is his full condition of right to the benefits of the covenant , that is but the fundamental part ; but you must actually dedicate him to god in baptism , ( deut. 29. ch . 11. 12. ver . rom. 11 ch . 16 , john 3. ch . 2. 5. ) the child of a believer actually offered or dedicated to god , is a rightfull receiver of baptism and its benefits . 3ly . teach them therefore to know what covenant they have made , and then cease not till you have brought them heartily to consent to it at age themselves : and then bring them to the minister of the church , that he may solemnly own the covenant made in his baptism , and so may be admitted into the number of adult communicating members in a regular way . teach them the words of the covenant , 2 tim. 1 ch . 13. and also the creed , the lords prayer , and the commandements , and the catechism , teach them the meaning of them , and the way of practising all labour to possess them with the greatest reverence of god and the holy scriptures : then shew them the word of god , for all that you would teach them to know or do . 2ly . never speak to them of god and holy things , but with the greatest gravity and reverence : for if they are used once to slight , or jest , or play with holy things , they are hardened and undone . use often to take an account of what they know and what they do , both in their open and secret practise ; leave them not carelesly to themselves , but narrowly watch over them . 3ly . use all your skill and diligence by word and deed to make a holy life appear to them , as it is the most honourable , profitable , safe , and pleasant life in the world , that it may be their constant delight ; make good things pleasant to them , keep them from feeling religion as burthensom , or unpleasant , or a needless thing . first , begin with the easiest parts , as scripture histories , and then church histories : let them read the lives of holy men , written by mr. samuel clark and his martyroligy , and the lives of mr. bolton , and mr. joseph allir , mr. janeway ; dr. beards theatre of gods judgments , speak much to them of the praise of ancient and latter holy men ; be much in opening to them the riches of grace , and the joyes of glory : exercise them much in psalms and praising god ; let your discourse with them be much in the disgrace of sensuality , pride , and wordlyness : tell them how pride is the devils sin , which cast him from heaven , when others tell them of riches , honours , and preferments , do you tell them these are the devils baites to allure and steal thy heart from god that they may be damned , make them often read , luk 12 ch . 16. 18. ver jam. 14 ch . 5. ver . rom. 8 ch . 12. ver . matt. 5 ch . 21. 6. ver . wisely break them of their own wills , and let them know that they must obey and like gods will and yours . let their apparell be plain and decent , not gaudy ; be sure when they come to years of ripen , that you keep them from opportunity , nearness , or familiarity with tempting persons of another sex. be sure you ingage your children in good company , and keep them as much as possible out of bad : wicked children will infact them before you are aware , as to drink , to swear , to game , to talk filthily , to lying , and to make a mock of godliness and sobriety . teach them to know the value of precious time , and the shortness of this life , and to set death still before their eyes ; use them to read good books , let your correction of them be wisely used as they need it , not too severely as to disaffect them to you , nor so little as to leave them in a course of sin and disobedience , let it be alwayes in love . pray earnestly for them , and commit them by faith to christ , into whose covenant you did ingage them . go before them by a holy life : let your practice tell them what you would have them be , especially in representing godliness delightful , and in living in the joyful hopes of heaven . choose such trades for them that have least dangerous temptations , and when marriagable , provide such for them as are truly suitable , and stay not till lust and folly insnate them . these are the counsels which i earnestly recommend to you in this important work , for your childrens souls are so precious , and the difference between the good and bad so great , that all this must not seem too much , for i take the due education of children for the needfullest and excellent work in the world , especially for mothers . the duties of husbands to their wives , and wives to their husbands . the common duty of husband and wife is to love each other , ( eph. 5 ch . 25. ver . husbands love your wives even as christ loved his church , ) and therefore choose one that is truly , lovely , and proceed in your choice , with great deliberation , and avoid all things as tend to quench love. 2ly . dwell together and enjoy each other , 1 cor. 7 ch . 29. ver . and faithfully joyn together in the education of your children , the government of your family , and the management of your worldly business . 3ly . especially to be helpers of each others salvation , to stir up each other to faith , love , and obedience , and good works , to warn and help each other against sin and all temptations , to joyn in gods worship in the family and in private , to prepare each other for the approach of death , and comfort each other in the hopes of life eternal . 4ly . to avoid all dissentions , and to bear with those infirmities in each other which you cannot cure : to asswage , and not to provoke unruly passions , and in lawful things to please each other . 5ly . to keep continual chastity and fidelity , and to avoid all unseemly and immodest carriage with any other , which may stir up jealousie , and yet to avoid jealousie which is unjust . 6ly . to help each other to bear their burthens ( and not by impatience to make them greater ) in poverty , crosses , sickness , and dangers , to comfort and to support each other , and to be delightful companions in holy love and heavenly hopes and duties , when all other outward comforts faile . the more special duties of husbands are to exercise love and authority together , ( never seperated ) to his wife . 2ly . to be chief teacher and governour of the family , and provider for its maintainance , to excell the wife in knowledge and patience , and to be her teacher and guide in the matters of god , and to keep up the wives authority & honour in the family over inferiors . the special duties of wives are , to excell in love , and 2ly . be obedient to their husbands , and examples therein to the rest of the family , submissively to learn of their husbands , ( that can teach them ) and not to be self conceited , talktive , or imperious , to subdue their passions , not to tempt their husband to satisfie their vain desire in pride , excess , revenge , or any evil ; not to rob god and the poor by a proud wastfull humour . 5ly . to govern their tongues , that their words be few , and grave , and sober . 6ly . to be contented in every condition , to avoid the childish vanity of gaudy apparel , and following of vain fashions of the prouder sort . 7ly . to help on the maintainance of the family by frugality , not to dispose of her husbands estate without his consent . 8ly . above all to be constant helpers for the holy education of their children ; for this is the most eminent service that women can do in the world ; she must daily catechise them , and teach them to know god , and mind them of the world to come , and teach them to pray . the duty of children to parents is to love them dearly , and to be thankfull for all that love & care which they can never requite , 2ly . to learn of them submisively , especially the doctrine of salvation . 3ly . to obey them diligently in all lawful things in obedience to god. 4ly . to honour them in thought , words , and actions , and to avoid all appearance of slighting , dishonour , and contempt . 5ly . to be contented with their parents allowance and provisions , and willing and ready to such labour or imployment as they command them . 6ly . to take patiently the reprooffs and corrections of their parents , and to confess their faults with humble penitence , and to amend . 7ly . to use such company as their parents command them , and not to run into the company of vain and tempting persons . 8ly . to be content with such a calling as their parents choose for them . 9ly . to marry by their parents choice or consent only . 10ly . to relieve their parents if they need . gen. 9. ch . 22. prov. 30 ch . 17. 13. 24. prov. 6 ch . 20 ver . col. 3 ch . 20 ver . a short prayer for children . let thy blessing o lord , be upon my parents and governours , cause them to instruct and educate me in thy fear , cause mee with thankfulness to receive their instruction , and to love , honour , and obey them in obedience to thee : keep mee from the snares of evil company , temptations , and yotuhful pleasures , and let mee be a companion of those that fear god ; let my daily delight be to meditate on thy law , and let me never have the mark of the ungodly , to be a lover of pleasure more than of god ; furnish my youth with those treasures of wisdom and holiness which may be daily increased and used to thy glory . all this i beg and hope for on the account and merits of jesus christ my saviour , saying , as he hath taught me , our father which art in heaven , hallowed be thy name , &c. the duty of masters towards their servants . is to rule them with that gentleness as becometh fellow christians , and yet with such authority , as that they be not encouraged to contempt . 2ly . to restrain them from sinning against god. 3ly . to instruct them in the doctrine of salvation , and pray with them , and go before them by the example of a sober life . 4ly . to keep them from evil company , and temptations , and opportunity 〈◊〉 sinning . 5ly . to set them upon meet labours , to keep no idle serving men , nor yet to over-labour them to the injury of their health , nor command them any unlawfull thing . 6ly . to provide them such food and lodging as is wholesome and meet for them ; and to pay them what wages is due to them by promise or desert . 7ly . to bear patiently with their daily infirmities , and such frailties as must be expected in mankind , eph. 6 ch . 9. 10 ver . col. 4. ch . 12. 3. ver . the duty of servants to their masters . first , to honour and reverence them , and obey them in all lawful things belonging to their places to command , and to avoid all words and carriage , which savour of dishonour , contempt , or disobedience . 2ly . to perform all labour willingly which they undertake , and is required of them , and that without grudging : and to be as faithful behind their masters backs as before their faces . 3ly . to be trusty in word and deed , and abhor lying and deceit , not to wrong their masters in buying or selling , or by stealing any thing that is theirs , no not meat nor drink against their will : but being as thrifty and carefull for their masters profit , as if it were their own , not to murmer at the means of ●ood that is wholesome , nor to desire a life of fulness , ease , and idleness . 5ly . to be more careful to do their duty to their masters , then how their masters shall use them , because ●in is worse than suffering . 6ly . not to reveale the secrets of the family abroad , to strangers or neighbours . 7ly . thankfully to receive instructions , and to learn god's word , and to observe the lords day , and seriously joyn in publick and private worshipping of god. 8ly . to bear patiently reprooff and due correction , and to confess faults and to amend . 9ly . to pray daily for a blessing on the family , on their labours and themselves . 10ly . to do all this in true obedience to god , expecting their reward from him , 1 pet. 2. ch . 18. tit. 2 ch . 9. ver . 1 tim. 6 chap. 12 ver . col. 3 ch . 22. 2● eph. 6 ch . 5 ver . matt. 10 ch . 24 ver . the servants prayer . o lord , as thou hast made mee a servant , make mee co●sionable and faithful in my place , trusty and carefull 〈◊〉 my masters goods and business , as i would be if it 〈◊〉 my own ; make me submissive and obedient to my govern●● 〈◊〉 keep mee from self-will and pride , from murmuring and 〈◊〉 iterant speeches , from falshood sloathfulness & all deceit , that 〈◊〉 be not an eye servant pleasing my lust & fleshly appetite 〈◊〉 may chearfully and willingly do my duty , as believing that 〈◊〉 art the revenger of all unfaithfulness and may 〈…〉 not only as unto man , but as unto the lord , expecting from 〈◊〉 my chief reward . all this i beg on the account of the 〈◊〉 of my dear saviour jesus christ , concluding in the 〈…〉 hath taught us , our father which art in heaven , &c. printed by 〈◊〉 for j. conyers in duck lane , 〈…〉 there is lately printed a most exellent sheet , called si●●s groans , or the distressed state of the 〈◊〉 church . a sermon of the absolute necessity of family-duties preached to the united parishes of st. mary woolnoth & st. mary woolchurch-haw in lombard-street / by david jones ... jones, david, 1663-1724? 1692 approx. 65 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 20 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2007-10 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a47028 wing j936 estc r11711 12715585 ocm 12715585 66181 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a47028) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 66181) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 358:18) a sermon of the absolute necessity of family-duties preached to the united parishes of st. mary woolnoth & st. mary woolchurch-haw in lombard-street / by david jones ... jones, david, 1663-1724? [1], 35, [1] p. printed for thomas parkhurst ... and brab. aylmer ..., london : 1692. reproduction of original in huntington library. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng family -biblical teaching. sermons, english -17th century. 2005-12 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2005-12 aptara keyed and coded from proquest page images 2006-11 taryn hakala sampled and proofread 2006-11 taryn hakala text and markup reviewed and edited 2007-02 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion a sermon of the absolute necessity of family-duties , preached to the united parishes of st. mary woolnoth , & st. mary woolchurch-haw in lombard-street . by david jones student of christ-church . oxon. jer . 10. 25. pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not , and upon the families that call not upon thy name : for they have eaten up jacob , and devoured him , and consumed him , and have made his habitation desolate . london , printed for thomas parkhurst at the bible and three crowns in cheap-side ; and brab . aylmer at the three pigeons in corn-hill , 1692. josh . 24. 15. if it seem evil to you to serve the lord , chuse you this day whom you will serve : but , as for me and my house , we will serve the lord. these words were spoken by joshua to the children of israel ; and they do acquaint us , first of all , that the service of god may have a great many prejudices and objections rais'd against it : for , it may seem evil to some men to serve the lord. secondly , they inform us , that though the service of god may have so many prejudices and objections rais'd against it ; yet , its excellence is so far beyond all things in the world , that it may be safely put to any mans choice , whether he will serve god or no. the difference between religion and irreligion is so great , that no reasonable man can be at a stand which to chuse : god is sure which way the choice will go . and therefore he says , chuse you this day whom you will serve . and therefore they give us to understand , thirdly , that , if notwithstanding the excellence of religion , men will be so wilfully blind , as to chuse irreligion before it ; yet , it is the duty of every joshua , it is the duty of every master of a family , to ingage both himself and his family , to serve god against all opposition to the contrary . for , if it seem evil to you to serve the lord , chuse you this day whom you will serve : but , as for me and my house , we will serve the lord. these three heads of discourse would take me up four sermons at least . and therefore , the next lords-day being the last time that i shall preach from this place ; i shall now treat only of the last proposition , which is most vseful for , and most neglected by most men. in treating of which , i shall shew you from joshua's example , that , every master of a family is indispensably bound in conscience to bring up his family in the service of god. and the reasons of this are such as these . first of all . the law tells us , deut. 20. 5. that every man was bound to dedicate , or to consecrate , or to sanctifie his house unto the lord. and the reason of the thing tells us , that it being impossible to sanctifie the walls of a house , there being no sanctification , properly so called , in stone , brick and timber : therefore , to sanctifie a house unto the lord , is nothing else , but to be careful for the instruction of a man's family , and to bring it up in the service of god ; that so , his house may be god's house , his children god's children , and his servants god's servants . for indeed , if a man does not instruct his family at home all the week long , their going to church on the lord's-day does them little or no good : for , the master does them as much and more harm in his own house , than the minister did them good in god's house . the masters bad example out-does the preachers good preaching , though he preaches with the tongues of men and angels . the master 's customary swearing and drinking , and cheating in his way of trade , every day in the week , out-does a little short florid sermon , only once or twice a week . and that too perhaps , design'd only to please a few itching ears , and not to sink down deep enough , and to work upon their hearts and consciences . the masters neglect of family-duties which the minister presses so home , and upon his conscience in church , makes the servant imagin , that the minister is some precise , rigid puritan , that would fain oblige men to such things as god never obliged them to . for else says the servant , my master who is reckon'd such a grave , prudent and just man in all other things , would never be so unjust to god , as to deny him the small tribute of family-duties , if he thought they were any way due to him . and by this means , the master infects his servant , and the servant infects his servant when he has one ; and so on to the end of the world. and thus , as i take it , the case now stands at this present time ; i would to god i were mistaken in it ! this evil of neglecting family-duties , is come to so great a head , that partly by the strength of custom and prescription , which some men impudently pretend for it : partly , by the general corruption of manners : and partly , for want of frequent and affectionate preaching against it , it will be a very hard matter to convince men of their duty in this case . and therefore , notwithstanding it is my usual way to spend much time in the application of my discourses to the hearts of men , yet at this time , i shall be forced to apply my self wholly to your judgments , by endeavouring to convince them of the absolute necessity of family-duties , without ever applying my self to raise and to stir up your affections , which must be reserved to some other opportunity , and some other hand . secondly the character that god gave abraham was this : i know him ; that is , i approve of him , i commend him for what i know in him : i know him that he will command his children and his houshold after him , and they shall keep the way of the lord to do justice and judgment , gen. 18. 19. this was one of our father abraham's greatest commendations . and therefore without all doubt , it made up the greatest , or at least , a very considerable part of his bounden duty and service . and therefore also , if ever we will be the true sons of our father abraham , we must do the works of our father abraham ; and among the rest , we are more especially bound to do this work of his , we are to command our children and our houshold after us . we are to take care for them against that time , when we shall be dead and gone , lest our memory should stink and rot among men. we are in our life-time to take care what shall become of them after our death . we are to command them to keep the way of the lord , to do justice and judgment . and we are to bring them up in the service of god. and therefore we find , that when christ had converted zaccheus , he said , this day is salvation come to this house , forasmuch as he also is the son of abraham , luke 19. 9. mark it all you masters of families : christ does not say , this day is salvation come to this man himself : but , it is come to this man's house also ; his whole house , as well as himself was to be saved by his salvation . and if you would know the reason of it , he tells you in the very next words , that the reason of it was this ; the master of that house was the son of abraham ; and therefore , he was bound to bring up his family in the service of god , as his father abraham had done before him . for , if peter , or any one else that is chief or head of a place , do fall away from his duty ; then , others also ; yea , a very barnabas himself will be drawn away too . and therefore , tho he himself discharge his own duty well enough ; yet , if he takes not care , that all under him discharge theirs also , he is guilty of their sin. god never increaseth a man's family , but at the same time he increaseth his charge and his care too . it is not enough for a master of a family to do the duty of a man ; but he must also do the duty of a master of a family . and thus , it is not enough for a constable , or a church-warden , or a justice of peace to do the duty of a master of a family , and to look after his own affairs at home ; but he must also do the respective duties of constable , church-warden , or justice of peace . thirdly . the fourth commandment commands every master of a family to take care of his son and daughter ; his man-servant and maid-servant ; yea , and even of the very cattle and strangers that are within his gates , that is , within his jurisdiction or protection . and certainly ; that god , who commands every master of a family to take care of his servants , does much more command him to take care of his children . and that god , who commands every master of a family to take care of his cattle and his strangers , that is , his lodgers and his sojourners , does much more command him to take care of his servants . for , a christian servant is really more than a servant , he is above a servant , he is a brother beloved , philem. 16. yea rather , there is no difference between either bond or free : for , we are all but one in christ jesus , gal. 3. 28. fourthly . every master of a family is bound to do as much good as he can in his generation : or , as the scripture speaketh , of the patriarch david , he is bound to serve his generation . and whoever that master of a family is , who does not bring up his family in the service of god , he does not bring it up to serve his generation : but , he is so far from serving it , that he does it all the disservice imaginable . for , as aristotle observeth in his politicks , families are the first societies in nature , and they are the ground and original of all the rest . families are the nurseries and the seminaries of a common-wealth . they are the same to a kingdom , that a fountain is to the streams that flow from it : or that a cause is to the effects that come from it . and as the streams can never be good when the fountain is bad ; and as the effects can never be good when the cause is bad : so likewise , no kingdom can ever be good as long as the families of the earth are out of course . and therefore , the best , and indeed , the only way to make godly parishes , and godly countries , and godly kingdoms , is , to being where we ought to begin . it is in the first place , to make godly families . and therefore , a minister is not only bound to teach his people in publick , but he is also to teach them in private : he is not only to go and meet them in god's house , but he is also to go and meet them in their own houses , if he may be admitted without any extraordinary rudeness offered to his person and message : he is to go from house to house , and to set up a godly , and a strict discipline in their families . and let no man imagin that he has not authority enough to do this . for , st. paul did it , acts 20. 20. and what he did , is written for our instruction , that we might do so too . assure your selves , every minister has as much power to demand god's rent out of every house , that is , to call them to an account for the improvement of their spiritual talents , as any gentleman's steward has to call for , and demand his masters rents from his tenants , matth. 21. 24. and wo be to us if we do not exercise this power ! and wo be to them that will not suffer us to put it in execution ! but serve us , as those wicked and barbarous husbandmen served the lord's servants , who went to demand the fruits of their lord's vineyard , either beat us , or stone us , or kill us , or send us away empty , and cast us out of the vineyard , ver . 35 , 39. from the families it is , that vertue or vice , a good or a bad example , does first arise , and spead it self both far and near . and therefore , the families are to be carefully looked after in the first place . one atheistical family is enough to infect the whole neighbourhood . it sendeth a son into one house , a daughter into another , a servant into another , and some body or other almost into every house . and every one of them , like so many infected persons , do poyson and infect all those with whom they converse . but what do i say , that one atheistical family is enough to infect the whole neighbourhood ? when it is plain , that one man , one jeroboam , is enough to infect the whole church and state , and to make all israel to sin , even for many ages after his death . one achan troubled all israel , and brought a severe judgment upon them all by his own single trespass , josh . 7. throughout the chapter . one incestuous corinthian made all the church of corinth to be puffed up , and involved them all in his fault , because they had him not excommunicated , 1 cor. 5. 2. one infected member infects all the rest . and we christians are all of us but so many members one of another : and therefore , the care of one , ought to reach to , and affect us all , rom. 12. 5. 15. fifthly , no master of a family can have any assurance of his own goodness , unless he endeavour to make all his family good as well as himself . he can have no sure sign of grace in himself , unless he endeavour to make all about him to grow in grace . for , even nature teacheth us , that if a needle be but touched with a loadstone , it will draw others along with it . and the very birds of the air teach us the same lesson . and why should not i send you to them for instruction , as solomon sends the sluggard to the ant for good husbandry ? the very birds of the air teach us the same lesson : for , they no sooner find a little heap of corn themselves , but they presently chirp and call their fellows to come and partake with them . and therefore we find , that god does frequently make this to be the mark of a sound christian that is himself thoroughly converted , when his care reacheth unto his family , and he endeavours to convert that as well as himself . for , the mark of abraham's goodness was , that he would command his children and his houshold after him . the mark of joshua's goodness was , that he and his house would serve the lord against all opposition . the mark of zaccheus his goodness was , that he would save his house as well as himself . the mark of cornelius the centurion's goodness was , that he was a devout man , and one that feared god with all his house . the mark of lydia and the jaylor's goodness was , that they and their housholds were baptized . the mark of crispus the chief ruler of the synagogue's goodness was , that he believed on the lord , with all his house . yea , and the mark of the noble-man of capernaum's goodness was , that he himself believed and his whole house . neither men nor women , neither rich nor poor , neither noble-men , nor rulers , nor jaylors , no , nor yet the very soldiers of those times , thought it below them to look after , and to instruct their families in the fear of god. yea , and holy david , though he were a king , did not think it below him to perform the same good office to his family ▪ for , so careful was he upon this account , that he has left us the whole 101 psalm as a pattern for all masters of families to walk by . and yet alas ! how much is this duty neglected by all sorts of men now-a-days , which was heretofore so much , if not vniversally practic'd . but however , let the neglect of it be what it will , yet sure it is , if thou dost not do all thou canst to make thy whole house good as well as thy self , thou hast no good assurance that thou thy self art a good man. and therefore we find in exod. 12. 48. that no proselyte might presume to come to the passover , unless his whole house as well as himself were circumcised , and professed the jewish religion . and how few then should now come to the holy sacrament , if this law , as well as its equity were still in force ? and we find also , that god would have killed moses in the inn , in his way to egypt , because he had not circumcised his son , exod. 4. 24. the great concern of his embassage , and the great haste it requir'd , could not possibly have prevented his death , if his wife had not presently circumcised his son. god never trusts them with any publick affairs , who are negligent in their private capacities . and we find further in deut. 30. 2 , 3. that the israelites had no hope of ever returning from captivity , unless their children as well as themselves would return unto the lord , and obey his voice . but these you 'll say , are all of them old testament proofs ; and what do those affect you who are not under the severe discipline of a school-masters rod , but the milder dispensation of the gospel of christ ? but thanks be to god for it , neither christ nor his gospel do in the least disingage you from family duties , but do rather much more confirm and establish them . for , st. paul is express , 1 tim. 3. 4 , 5. that no man may be made a bishop or a priest , but one that ruleth well his own house , having his children in subjection with all gravity . for , if a man know not how to rule his own house , how shall he take care of the church of god ? nay , and what 's a great deal more than all this , st. paul tell us plainly , 1 tim. 5. 8. that if any provide not for his own , though they be abroad and gone from him ; and especially for those of his own house , that are at home with him , he hath denied the faith , and is worse than an infidel . and if a man have denied the faith , and be worse than an infidel , that does not provide food and raiment for his family , and take care for the welfare of their bodies only : how bad then is that man that does not provide for the souls of his family ? for , is it not worse to starve the soul , than to starve the body ? and is not eternal death far worse than temporal death ? and are not the gnawings of the never-dying worm , far more intolerable , than the cravings of an empty stomach ? certainly , as much as the soul exceeds the body , so much the worse is that man that neglects the souls of his family , than he that neglects their bodies . and yet , if he that only neglects their bodies , have denied the faith , and be worse than an infidel : then judge you your selves , what name is bad enough for that man that neglects their souls ? and now , let any master of a family , that does not bring up his house in the service of god , tell me and this congregation , how he can pretend to be a christian , when st. paul tells him here to his face , that he hath denied the faith , and is worse than an infidel . and if any of you shall be pleased to call me rash , censorious , positive , peremptory , and i know not what , for passing such a severe judgment upon you that are guilty of this sin , ( if any of you are guilty of it , ) do but remember it is not my judgment , but st. paul's : and then , if you must needs find fault , find fault with him ; and let him answer for it , and not i. and with him , not to say with us , it is a very small thing that we should be judged of you , or of mans judgment : he that judgeth us is the lord , 1 cor. 4. 3 , 4. and therefore , do you say what you will , i do conclude notwithstanding , that no master of a family can have any assurance of his own faith ; for , he hath denyed that : and consequently , he can have no assurance of his own salvation neither , unless he endeavour to make all his family good as well as himself . he can have no sure sign of grace in himself , unless he endeavour to make all about him to grow in grace . sixthly . a bad master of a family makes all his family bad ; or at least , he is not wanting on his part , as far as his bad example will go . an adulterous master makes all his family to serve his lust , and prompts them to uncleanness . a drunken , swearing master , provokes all his family to give themselves to drinking and swearing : and a covetous master brings the very root of all evil into his family , and infects them all with a stingy penurious humour , which eats up the very vitals and bowels of christianity . and shall not a good master of a family be as careful to make his family good , as a bad master is to make his family bad ? shall not the good be as true to god , as the bad is to the devil ? shall not heaven ingage the good to make as many converts , as hell does ingage the bad ? and shall not everlasting joys be as strong and prevailing motives , as everlasting torments ? oh how will the devil insult over thee for this at the day of judgment ! how will he then accuse thee for this , which he now provokes thee to , and commends thee for ! and how will he then upbraid thee for having promoted his kingdom of darkness , more than thou didst the kingdom of christ ? me , thinks i hear , and i even tremble to hear him plead against thee after some such manner as this ! this man was thine by creation , o'christ ; but he has made himself mine by his own choice : he was thine whether he would or no ; he could not hinder his creation ; but he became mine by his own voluntary act and deed. thou didst redeem him ; but he presently sold himself to me for a trifle , for nothing , for worse than nothing ; for death , for eternal death . thou didst dye for him ; but he served me , and lived and died in my service ; in the drudgery and slavery of sin. and yet for all this , i gave him nothing , and i promised him nothing , save only the burden of a surseit , or the vanity of fame , or the filthy pleasure of a night , or the joys of madness , or the delights of a disease , or the comfortable entertainment of horror , anguish and despair . i never sweated great drops of blood for him ; i never hanged upon the cross for him ; only , when he was thine by the merit of thy precious death , he became mine by his own base ingratitude . he swore in his baptism to be thy soldier , and he has forsworn himself a thousand times over to fight my battles . he ought to have made his house a houshold of faith , but he has made it a den of thieves , and a cage of every unclean thing . none of my servants do serve me thus : my servants are all true and faithful to me ; they take care that nothing be seen or heard in their houses all the year long , but drinking , and swearing , and gaming , and whoring , and backbiting , and such like extravagant frolicks . and yet , does this master of a family pretend to be thy servant , and serve me all the while , and suffer his house to be full of all manner of sinners , yea , and prefer sinners to his acquaintance , to his table , to his bosom , to his very bed , before those which his own conscience cannot but tell him to be good and honest men. and this , or some such invidious accusation , the accuser of the brethren , the devil , will certainly bring against thee at the day of judgment . and therefore , as thou wouldst avoid it then ; so , be thou now sure to bring up thy family in the service of god : which is the only thing that will be able to stop the devil's mouth against thee at that great and terrible day of the lord. and here now i am presently aware of a middling sort of men , who are neither notorious ill livers , nor notorious good livers : who neither drink nor swear , nor whore , nor keep any bad hours in their families . and these men content themselves with a negative sort of religion . they think it enough to eschew evil , and they never think of doing good. they think it enough to haue their families at home , and to give them good ordinary food and raiment , and to keep them in pretty good order for their credit and their trade's sake ; and they never think of providing for their immortal souls , for god's sake , tho they do much more deserve , and do much more stand in need of their utmost assistance . they call them to an exact account for every farthing that they entrust them with ; and they never call them to any account at all for those innumerable talents that god hath committed to their charge . they enquire of them diligently what news they have heard abroad ; and they never enquire of them what good sermon they have heard at church , and how much the better they are for having heard it . they ask them , whether such a strong place , or such a fortress be taken or surrendred ; and they never ask them whether such a thorn be taken out of their flesh , or such a sin taken captive , or such a jericho demolished , or such a lust mortified , or such earthly members crucified to the cross of christ . they take on mightily , and lay on unmercifully , if they be not always at home to wait on them at their tables , and they never are at all concern'd whether ever they wait at god's table , and go to his altar to receive the blessed sacrament . and thus these middling sort of men do keep their families at home indeed , but they do not make them do any good at home . they keep them from the grosser acts of sin , but they do not bring them up to vertue . they keep them from drinking , and swearing , and whoring , ( and 't were well if all would but do so much ) but they do not bring them up to read and to pray , and to sing psalms ; and they do not instruct them in the principles of religion , by catechizing them , and reading and expounding the scriptures to them , as far as they are able . sure i am , these and such like godly exercises were constantly used in those late times , which some men have learned to call hypocritical . but how deservedly , let them look to it . for , none is able to distinguish a hypocrite from an honest man , unless he can do as god does , search the heart . and if our religion does not exceed , yet , does not equal , that of the hypocrites , good god , what will become of us ! let us have a care lest our portion be not as good as theirs ! let us not deceive our selves ! the close hypocrite does not do the church of god so much harm as the profane person . the hypocrite commends religion . for , none counterfeits that which is bad . but the profane person lives in open defiance to it , and proclaims war against heaven , and dares the almighty to his face . ahab's hypocritical repentance procured him a great temporal blessing , even from god himself . but we never read of any blessing that god bestows upon a man for his profaneness . and therefore ▪ first of all , do not thou call any times hypocritical . for , thou dost not know which are so , and which are not so . and then ▪ secondly , do not thou presume to neglect family-duties , because they were most practiced in those times , which thou thinkest most hypocritical . the very hypocrite's practice of them , both justifies and commends them . for , he is never at the pains to counterfeit ought but what is good . the devil transforms himself only into an angel of light , or at least , something else that is better than himself . let us not therefore thus pitifully deceive our selves any longer . the hypocrite's practice of family-duties will not justifie , but condemn us , and aggravate our condemnation for their neglect . god neither is , nor will , nor can be mocked by you . your sins of omission are damnable as well as your sins of commission . your omitting family-duties is damnable , as well as your committing family-sins . men shall be damned for doing nothing , as well as for doing somthing that is bad . idleness is mortal as well as sinfulness ▪ and the slothful napkiner of his talent is accountable for that , as well as he that spends his estate upon ease , luxury and pomp. men shall be damned not only for cheating , and oppressing , and grinding the face of the poor ; but also , for not assisting , and not relieving the poor ; for not giving them meat , drink , cloathing and lodging when they stand in need of it , as too many of them do in this cold season of the year , as you heard this morning from his majesty's gracious letter to the lord bishop and the lord mayor of london , on the behalf of the poor in and about this city . which i would have you all effectually to lay to heart . and therefore ▪ i beseech thee , yea , i beg of thee for christ his sake , and for thine own sake too , that when thou hast taken so much care to keep thy self from sins of commission , do not suffer thy self to be damned for sins of omission . thou that hast kept thy self from doing evil , do not suffer thy self to be undone for not doing good. thou that hast kept thy family from sin , do not suffer thy self to perish for not bringing it up to vertue . it is the height of misery to have watched for the bridegroom till he was just coming , and then in the very nick of time to fall asleep , and to be shut out for ever from the marriage-feast . it is the utmost disappointment to fall short of the prize within a step of the races end . there are proverbs made on 't . 't is a disappointment beyond expression , beyond thought , beyond all things , to go to the devil in the sight of god , and to be tumbled into hell from heaven-gates . and therefore , thou that hast taken so much care with thy family , do not make thy self eternally miserable for not taking a little more care with it . thou that hast gone so far , do not damn thy self for not going one step farther . do not forfeit heaven for one bad action . do not forfeit eternity for nothing , for one sin of omission , the omission of family-duties . seventhly , self-love and self-preservation oblige a man to bring up his family in the service of god , tho he himself has not god in all his thoughts . for , self-preservation obliges a man to avoid a pest-house , or an house infected with the plague : it obliges him to avoid all violent torments , such as the rack , the wheel , and the gallows ; and it never makes him over-fond either of sword , fire , or faggot . and yet , the very same principle that obliges a man to avoid these and such like fatal messengers of god's wrath , does much more oblige him to bring up his family in the service of god , and to empty his house of all bad livers . for , if thy servant be sick of any catching distemper , dost not thou presently get him out of thy house , lest thou , and thy wife , and thy children , and the rest of thy family should catch that distemper ? and yet , is there any distemper half so catching , and half so mischievous , as that of sin ? and wilt not thou then much more get rid of a sinful , than a sick servant ? especially , seeing all his sickness is only the effect of his sinfulness ; and it is charity , and perhaps thy duty , to entertain thy sick servant , which thou art never bound to do to thy sinful servant . dost thou harbor a company of thieves or robbers in thy house , if thou hast any thing by thee that is worth their stealing ? dost thou harbor a company of adulterers or fornicators in thy house , if thou hast either a chaste wife , or a chaste daughter , or a chaste maid living with thee ? and yet , wilt thou harbor a company of wicked servants in thy house , that will rob thee of thy very soul , and will bring the curse and the plague of god upon thee and all thy family ? yea , wilt thou harbor a company of incarnate devils in thy house ? for , what our saviour said of judas , i have chosen twelve disciples , and behold one of them is a devil , is but too true of every other wicked man , he is a devil ; he is led , or rather violently hurried on , by the same spirit that the devil himself is led by . and art not thou afraid to keep a company of incarnate devils in thy house , when a little fire or water , or a few thieves shall be ready to make thee at thy wits end ? eighthly , self-interest obliges a man to bring up his family in the service of god , though he himself careth not for god. and interest certainly will do much in such a place as this , when all other things fail . where robbing of orphans , oppressing widows , grinding the face of the poor , griping vsury , and suing out pardons from the state for extortion : where these and such like abominable sins do reign at such a rate ; certainly interest , yea , the very name of it , will pass for a stronger argument than all the power and demonstration of the spirit . and therefore , methinks , that this place of all others should be most remarkable for family-duties , which advance their interest even to an hundred-fold . for , if a man be bad himself , yet if he have but a good servant , god will bless that bad man for the sake of his good servant . for , notwithstanding potiphar was an idolater , and notwithstanding his wife was an adultress , and would have committed a rape upon her chast servant , that preferred the members of christ before the members of such a lewd harlot : notwithstanding all these villanies that were enough to have undone a whole kingdom , and much more one house : yet still , the holy ghost is express , that the lord blessed the egyptians house for joseph's sake . and again , the lord blessed the house of obed-edom , for the arks sake , and again , the lord blessed laban for his servant jacob's sake . and again , the lord cured naaman the syrian of his leprosie , for his little hebrew maids sake . and again , the lord saved all the men that were with paul in the ship , for paul's sake . and again , the lord would have saved all sodom and gomorrha for the sake of ten righteous men. and in one word , whatever a good servant putteth his hand to , the lord will prosper it in his hand , psal . 1. 3. and who then would be without a good servant , or some other good man in his family , if he might be had either for love or mony , if he might be had at any rate ? especially , seeing that even self-interest obliges a man to get him such a one . and therefore , though a man should be never so bad himself , yet even his interest would oblige him , one would think , to bring up his family in the service of god , though he , like the unjust judge in the gospel , cared neither for god nor man , nor did at all value either heaven or hell. lastly , good manners , and good breeding , and common civility , oblige a man to bring up his family in the service of god , though he himself has no religion at all . for , there is no man so ill-bred , as to invite a friend to take a commons with him , and yet provide him nothing but what he knows he hath a perfect antipathy against , and what he hates in his heart , and what will make him swoon away at the very sight of it . no man is so ill-bred as to serve his friend thus . and i believe , that no man is so ill-bred as to invite a friend to a place , where he can neither see , nor hear , nor speak to any but what are his mortal enemies , and what have murdered his best and his only friend , and what would murder him also , if ever they meet him . no man certainly is so ill-bred as this comes to . and yet we all know , there is scarce a wicked man upon earth , but what prays in his house at some time or other , or at least sends for the minister to pray with him at the point of death . then at least , once in his life-time , the minister , that diminitive creature he so often laugh'd at , and libell'd in all places , the minister is thought sit for his company , when he himself is fit for no bodies else . and what is it for a man to pray to god in his house ? is it any thing else , but to desire god to come into , and to bless his house , and to enter under his roof , and to dwell in the temple of his body , and to sup with him , and to translate him from death to life , and from earth to heaven ? is a family-prayer any thing else ? and yet shall that wicked man invite god to come into that place , that place of sin , that dunghil of filth , his own house , which he knows that god hates , and loaths and abhors ? shall that wicked man invite god to come into the company of those wicked servants of his , who have crucified his only begotten son , and trampled upon the lord of life , and counted his blood an unholy thing , and done despite to his spirit of grace ? shall that wicked man invite a jealous god to come into the company of whoremongers and adulterers , whom he himself will judge to eternal scorchings in hell ▪ fire ? shall that wicked man invite god to come into that place where he shall hear himself cursed and sworn against , and his name blasphemed to his face ? where he shall see a swinish lust preferr'd before him , and a drunken cup preferr'd before the cup of blessing , and a painted jezabel preferr'd before the charms of the immaculate jesus that has neither spot nor wrinkle ? would any man that has either good manners , or good breeding , or any common civility left him ; would any man at all serve a friend at such a rate , such a barbarous rate as this ? what , send for a friend to abuse and affront him in his own house , and to buffet and to spit upon him , and to turn him out of doors assoon as he comes , wounded , mangled , bleeding , gasping , dead , dead with the death of the cross ? and yet , at this and a far worse rate does every man serve god , who invites him to come into his house , where he can neither see nor hear any thing , but what wounds and stabs him to the heart , and pierces his bleeding sides , and crucifies him afresh , and puts him again to an open shame . and now canst thou possibly find in thy heart to serve god thus ? what has god done that he should deserve this at thy hands ? the very abjects of the people that came about , and the drunkards that made songs , and jested upon holy david , did not serve him so ill as thou dost god. nay , and ev'n balaam himself did not serve his very ass so ill as thou dost god : he presently saw his error , but thou goest on still in thine , and wilt not see it . tell me seriously , wherein has god offended thee so much , that thou dost thus use him ? is not god thy creator , thy preserver , thy redeemer , thy saviour , thy all ? if yet thou hast any share at all in him . and which of all these unspeakable mercies makes thee so much his enemy ? 't is greatly to be feared , that thou hast not the least interest in god. thou hast not the least interest in that house which thou thy self dost wilfully set on fire . thou hast not the least interest in that ship which thou thy self dost help to sink . thou art not the right owner of that child which thou thy self dost cause to be divided , and killed in it's mother's presence . and if it be against all good manners to invite god to come into your houses that you may affront him to his face : then , no man that pretends to love god may presume to keep company with bad men , where god is daily affronted , without forfeiting all claims to good breeding . for , can i possibly go into that company , and can i take any pleasure in that society , which abuses , and kills my friend , that i love as my own soul ? yea , is it not far worse for me to take pleasure in bad men's company , than it is for me to be a bad man my self ? is it not worse for me to love a fornicator , than it is for me to be a fornicator ? yea verily . for says st. paul speaking of fornicators , and the haters of god , they knowing the judgment of god ( that they which commit such things are worthy of death ) not only do the same , but have pleasure in them that do them , rom. 1. 32. from whence it is plain , that to take pleasure in those men's company that do bad things , is far worse than for a man to be bad himself . and therefore for the future , take special care what men and women's company you take delight in , and become one flesh with . do not find fault with those men that bear their testimony against these things . and do not reckon those men proud , who are resolved , by god's grace , to live and die according to these rules , and to avoid all familiarity with all god's enemies , as far as they know them . for , how canst thou possibly pretend to be the spouse of christ , and yet take her for thy wife , or him for thy husband , who takes the members of christ and makes them the members of an harlot ? from all which it is plain . that tho thou pretendest to no great share of religion : yet , thou pretendest to good manners , and good breeding , and common civility ; and these very motives , if there were none besides oblige thee to bring up thy family in the service of god. and yet alas ! these very men that pretend most to good breeding and good manners , do treat god the most unmannerly and the most rudely of all others . for , their houses have the least devotion in them . there it is , that reading the scripture , and praying , and singing of psalms , and repeating of sermons , and examining and instructing of families are the least observed . the richer those men are , the more careless they are in family-duties . that is in plain english , the more kind god is to them , the more unkind , and the more ungrateful they are to him . those very blessings that should oblige them to bring god's service into their families , are used as arguments to banish it out of all their dwellings . their very greatness . their honour , which should oblige them to honour god most , for having honoured them so much above their fellows , makes them to think it below them to condescend so far as to instruct their own children , and much less their servants . they did not think it below them to beget their children in sin , and consequently to serve the devil ; and yet , they think it below them to bring up their children in the service of the living god. they did not think it beneath them to make their children the firebrands of hell , and the children of wrath ; and yet , they think it beneath them to make their children the children of light , and the heirs of heaven . and here now , i know very well , that these gentile-men , as they think themselves , do charge us with ill-breeding for telling them of theirs so publickly . but , whatever they think of it , we know otherwise . we know whom we have believed . we know our selves guilty of as great a fault , in not telling them of their faults , as they are in committing them . and therefore we are forc'd to tell them further , that , this is not all the rudeness and incivility that these civil men , these men of good manners , and good breeding are guilty of . for , it is not enough for them to think it below them-themselves to bring religion into their families , but they would have all others think it so too . they would have all others to run into the same excess of riot with themselves . they neither go to heaven themselves , nor suffer others to go thither , by their good will. but , if their cups , their roaring , their revelling , and clamorous balling and quarrelling do perhaps permit them at sometime to over-hear their godly neighbours either a praying or a singing of psalms , or a doing any other christian duty in their families , the least they say , is , that they are disturbed by them , and that they can have no quiet in their houses for their silly whining ; and in plain terms , that they are a company of rank hypocrites and fanaticks . but oh good god , what times are we now fall'n into , when sobriety , gravity , and family-duties , shall be enough to un-church a man ! what times are we now fall'n into ! when men are counted sinners for following the example of the blessed jesus , who expounded all those things to his family in private , which he had taught them in publick , mark 4. 34. what an age is this that we now live in ! when men are counted sinners for doing as the primitive christians did ; for making their houses to be the houses of god , and for turning them into so many little churches and assemblies of the saints of god , rom. 16. 5. 1 cor. 16. 19. col. 4. 15. philem. 2. and you do not know but that in one of these little hutts , your lot , the pawn of your peace , the pledge of your safety , and the hostage of your security , your lot may dwell . once more . what an age is this that we now live in ! when men shall be counted hypocrites for doing those family-duties , and making such a necessary provision for the souls of their children and their servants , which if they do not make , st. paul tells them expresly , they deny the faith , and are worse than infidels ! and if men are grown to such an extravagant , and such a monstrous height of impiety , as to reckon that to be no breach of duty , but rather a commendable action , which makes them denyers of their faith , yea , and makes them worse than the very worst infidels . good god! what will the end of these things be ? and thus i have done . but do not you think , that you also have done with what you have now heard . your work does but begin , when mine is ended . your work is to do and practise what i have deliver'd according to god's word , and not to judge , and to censure it . for , if thou judge the law , thou art not a doer of the law , but a judge , jam. 4. 11. your work is to do , and not only to hear . do you therefore make a solemn vow unto the lord : but make it now : make it before you stir from hence . joshua gives you , and the thing it self requires no longer time to consider of it . for says he , chuse you this day whom you will serve . if you will chuse at all , you must chuse out of hand , you must chuse to day , even now. now therefore do you all make a solemn vow unto the lord , that , if you have neglected family-duties hitherto , you will never neglect them for the time to come . but , whatever others may do in their families , as for vs , as for all vs that are here present , we and our families will serve the lord ; yea , we will serve him against all opposition to the contrary . and let all the people say , amen , lord jesu , amen and amen . postscript . this discourse was made , preached , and printed for the benefit of all men , whether they dissent from , or conform to the excellent order of the church of england . which end that it may the better obtain , i am to acquaint you with a question proposed to me since i preached it , and the answer that i gave my friend that proposed it . the question was this . how i would have family-duties performed , by the common-prayer-book , or by a prayer of ones own making , or any ones else ? and the answer was this . the church of england had not decided either way ; and consequently had left it indifferent ; and accordingly i had done so too . and therefore , so it were but gravely , devoutly and affectionately performed , it was not very material whether the one way or the other . and the reasons of this answer are these . first of all , there is no learned and sober dissenter , that i can hear of , who reckons the common-prayer-book or any other set-form of prayer , of itself simply unlawful , so the matter of it be good , and the expressions plain , full and significant . for otherwise , so many learned and pious men among them had never printed any family-prayers , nor had the directory been ever made . and therefore , even according to the dissenters themselves , a set-form is lawful as well as a prayer of ones own making . secondly , the authors of the common-prayer-book did never design it for the use of private families . for otherwise , a form of prayer to be used in private houses every morning and evening , had never been printed with our bibles after the singing psalms . and bishop patrick is express in the preface to his devout christian , that the reverence due to the common-prayer-book will be best preserved , by imploying it only in the publick divine service ; or in the private , where there is a priest to officiate . and therefore , even according to the church of england it self , a prayer of any ones making may be as well , if not better used in private families , than even the common-prayer-book it self . thirdly , the 55 canon does command all ministers before their sermons , to move the people to joyne with them in prayer , not only in that form there prescribed , but also to that effect , as briefly as conveniently they may . and if the church commands us to do so in publick , much more does it allow us to do so in private . and therefore , even according to the church of england it self , a prayer of ones own making may be lawfully used in private families , as well as a set-form . and therefore , seeing these things are so ; i do first of all , make this humble request to all dissenters : seeing the most learned and the most pious authors of your perswasion have printed , and thereby have allowed the use of set-forms of prayer for family-duties : and seeing that all among you have not the gift of ex tempore prayer : therefore be pleased to pray to god by a set-form , rather than not pray to him at all . when you cannot make a prayer of your own , be pleased to make use of one already made to your hands : or to make use of your own comparison , take crutches when you cannot go without them . take the help of others , when you cannot help your selves . and that this is no unreasonable request is plain , from this following instance . an ingenious and a pious merchant of this city , my good friend , lodged in his youth in a considerable dissenters house : and after some observation , he perceived that he and his family never went to prayers . upon which , he very fairly took his landlord aside , and asked him the reason why he had no family-duties in his house ? and his landlord gave him this ingenuous answer . iown my self guilty of sin in doing as i do , and i do not know how i can possibly avoid it . for , i cannot pray ex tempore ; and i reckon it unlawful to pray any other way . and let all unlearned men of that perswasion lay their hands to their hearts , and see whether this be not more or less their own condition ? and that 's my first request . and my second request is to the church of england-men , and 't is this . seeing the church does not oblige you to use the common-prayer-book in your families : yea , seeing it does rather oblige you to use some other prayers , unless you have a priest to officiate : yea , farther , seeing its canons do leave you at liberty to use a set-form , or else , to make a prayer of your own to the same effect , as conveniently as you may : yea and further yet , seeing it gives you this liberty even in publick before your sermons ; then , do not you be as superstitiously for , as some few others are superstitiously against set-forms . let not those that pray ex tempore despise them that pray by a form : and let not those that pray by a form judge them that pray ex tempore . for , i do not in the least doubt but they both do it to the lord. and i do not in the least doubt neither , but the lord hath received them both . the only misery on 't is this . we both agree very well when we understand one anothers meaning . but we scarce ever vouchsafe to give one another a meeting , that we may understand one another . let then the dissenters be but pleased to pray by a form in our families , and we will come and pray ex tempore in theirs . or if they cannot condescend to this , let them but be of the same heart , tho they cannot be of the same mind with us . let us love one another , and freely converse together without any jealousie or suspicion . and then , tho we should chance to be like christs coat of divers colours , and various judgments : yet , we may be like it also , seamless , and all of a piece , knit together in one common bond of charity . we may hold the faith in vnity of spirit , in the land of peace , and in righteousness of life . and that this is no unreasonable request neither , is plain from this following instance . about three or four years ago , i was acquainted with a learned , a sober , and a wealthy country-gentleman of the church of england . and upon some assurances that he gave me of his friendship , both by word of mouth , and by letter , i took him to be my friend . and one night being in his house , and being desired to read prayers , i readily complyed with so good a motion . but , finding the second lesson to be a difficult chapter in the epistle to the hebrews , which i my self did not well understand , i exchanged it for another , against the vanity of apparel , as i thought , of more edification to some persons who were there present . but the gentleman , belike , took it ill , that i should offer to change the chapter , and asked me the reason why i durst do so . to which i gave these answers . first , i did not well understand that chapter my self , and 't was not very likely that his family could understand it better . secondly , if i had understood it better , i would not have read it notwithstanding : because , another was more useful for some persons there present , who were , in my judgment , but too vain and light in their apparel : adding , that where-ever i should chance to be , i would always do that , which would do most good to my hearers , tho it were to my great disadvantage in this world. thirdly , i had the express order of the church for what i did : for , the admonition to all ministers ecclesiastical , printed before the homilies , has these words , where it may so chance some one or other chapter of the old testament to fall in order to be read upon the sundays or holydays , which were better to be changed for some other of the new testament of more edification , it shall be well done to spend your time to consider well of such chapters before-hand , whereby your prudence and diligence in your office may appear ; so that your people may have cause to glorify god for you , and be the readier to embrace your labors , to your better commendation , to the discharge of your consciences and their own . and yet for all this , and a great deal more to the same purpose that i then said to him , he so stifly and so obstinately stuck to the kalendar , that he wholly disregarded the edification of his family , the breach of friendship , and the excellent order of the church . from both which instances , not to give you any more , i humbly conceive , that both my requests are not at all unreasonable or unseasonable . and god of his infinit mercy grant that they may be both duly weighed , and conscientiously practiced . and god grant also , that the rigid and high-flown men of both sides may be disallowed and discountenanced ! and that the moderate and sober men of both sides may be only approved and encouraged ! that so , our moderation may be known unto all men , and that our jerusalem may be a city that is at peace and unity with its self ! and oh how willingly would i go and meet them half way ! yea , how willingly would i go and meet them to their own houses ! and god grant all men may be of the same mind for christ his sake ! amen , amen . and besides these things that do equally concern my conforming and non-conforming brethren : i have one thing more which i humbly crave leave to offer to the consideration of my brethren the clergy of the church of england in particular , because i conceive it will very much further the observation of family-duties : and 't is this . the chief things which family-duties consist of , are reading the scripture , praying and catechizing . and the rubrick obliges all ministers to read , in their respective churches , morning and evening-prayer , every day , as well as every lord's-day throughout the year . and the rubrick and the 59th canon oblige them also to catechize every lords-day , and every holy-day , ( and not only in leant-time , ) in the afternoon for half an hour or more , either before evening-prayer , or after the second lesson . and this they oblige them to upon pain of sharp reproof for the first fault , suspension for the second , and ex-communication for the third . now if parish-ministers will not do this of themselvs ; and if the bishops will not make them do it , by putting the laws in execution against them : then , how can it be expected , that the people will do it in their private houses , when the clergy themselves will not do it in the church of god ? how can it be expected , that the people should pray and catechize in their families , when the ministers dare not press them to do so , for fear of betraying their own carelessness and breach of subscription ? no man can heartily preach against that sin , which he himself is guilty of , but his conscience must needs fly in his face : and if he do preach against it after some sort or other no , man can scarce believe a word of what he says , seeing his own practice is quite contrary , and his example confutes his preaching . god knows my heart ▪ i do not say this to cast any contempt upon the clergy : but , it possible , to wipe away some of that which , i am afraid , is but too deservedly cast upon too many of us. which god of his infinite mercy grant , for christ his sake . amen , amen . finis . advertisement . there are two scurrilous and scandalous pamphlets maliciously and industriously spread about concerning me , to the hindrance of my ministerial office , and the blasting of my reputation : which , if any man of common honesty dare but own , and set his name to , and acquaint the world with the place of his abode , shall be shortly answer'd to the full . in the mean time , silence and pity shall be all my reply ; and in the words of my saviour , who suffered many such contradictions of sinners , i do heartily pray to god , father forgive them ; for they do not know what they do , luke 23. 34. since which , there being a friendly vindication of my farewel-sermon , printed in a sheet and a half , by a person wholly unknown to me , i do here publickly return him my hearty thanks , and i am ready to do so in private too , when-ever he shall be pleased to make himself known to me . and there being an abusive vindication , printed in half a sheet , and pretended to be writ by my self , and to be published by my own book-sellers , to make it go off the better ; i do here openly declare , that i never writ it , and that my book-sellers never published it , nor knew any thing of it . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a47028-e280 reason 1. reason 2. reason 3. reason 4. reason 5. obj. answ . reason 6. reason 7. reason 8. reason 9. notes for div a47028-e4310 quest . answ . reason 1. reason 2. reason 3. the way to true honour and happiness a friendly address to all parents, masters of families, and landlords, the persons most capable to honour ... , and to gain honour to themselves, by beginning and carrying on a rational reformation. to which is added, [a] memorandum for mothers. by john mitchell, m.a. mitchell, john, fl. 1697. 1697 approx. 68 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 25 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2003-01 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a51033 wing m2287b estc r221889 99833134 99833134 37609 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a51033) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 37609) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 2191:15) the way to true honour and happiness a friendly address to all parents, masters of families, and landlords, the persons most capable to honour ... , and to gain honour to themselves, by beginning and carrying on a rational reformation. to which is added, [a] memorandum for mothers. by john mitchell, m.a. mitchell, john, fl. 1697. 48 p. printed by i. dawks, for b. barker by the fountain-ta... at the foot of the hay-market, near pell-mell; sold by r. baldwin in warwick-lane, london : 1697. gathered in 4's. copy tightly bound with loss of title and text. reproduction of the original in the lambeth palace library, london. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng repentance -early works to 1800. christian life -early works to 1800. family -religious life -early works to 1800. women -conduct of life -early works to 1800. mother and child -religious aspects -early works to 1800. 2000-00 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2001-11 aptara keyed and coded from proquest page images 2002-02 tcp staff (oxford) sampled and proofread 2002-02 tcp staff (oxford) text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-03 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion the way to true honour and happiness . a friendly ●ddress to all ●arents , 〈…〉 ters of families , and ●andlords , 〈◊〉 persons most capable to honour 〈◊〉 and to gain honour to them 〈…〉 by beginning and carrying on a 〈…〉 ional reformation . to which is added , 〈…〉 emorandum for mothers , 〈◊〉 iohn mitchell , m. a. london , 〈◊〉 i. dawks , for b. barker by the fountain-ta 〈…〉 the foot of the hay-market , near pell-mell ; 〈…〉 d by r. baldwin in warwick-lane , 1697. price stitch't , 4 d , it is earnestly desired , that magistrates , landlords , and other rich people , would distribute some copies of this little book , among their tenants and servants , and among poor people , that many may be awakened to a sense of their duty , and may concur and unite their endeavours for carrying on that glorious reformation , which all sober persons are longing and praying for . dan. 12. 3. they that turn many to righteousness shall shine . a friendly address to all parents , ●asters of families , and land lords , &c. dear friends , ●n reading the new testament , you may 〈◊〉 see , that the practice of christianity is 〈◊〉 degenerated ; and in observing the ways 〈◊〉 of men , you do see , that the nation is 〈…〉 rupted . vice abounds , and wickedness 〈…〉 ails . almost none walking in the ways 〈…〉 ety and vertue , and very few walking in 〈◊〉 ways of civility or honesty . all fami●● all persons have corrupted their ways ; most are vitious and all are negligent ; there is none righteous , no not one . the justice of the eternal majesty is provoked , his laws contemned , his mercy despised , his grace abused , his promises and threatnings disregarded , and all the methods of his p●●vidence neglected . and what shall be the end thereof ? the word of god gives us ground to hope , that a real and speedy re●ormation may be a mean to prevent deserved condemnation , isa. 55. 6 , 7. but without this , let none presumptuously expect mercy . for the righteous judge of the world is unchangeably just and holy , and will not , yea , cannot pardon impenitent sinners : for it were against the declarations of his eternal truth , which is firmer than the pillars of heaven and earth . for tho' the mercies of god and the merits of christ ar● infinite , yet neither of these can save one impenitent sinner ; for he who cannot lye , hath said , luke 13. 3 , 5. except ye repent , ye shall likewise perish , mat. 18. 3. so that true repentance and a thorow re●ormation is the only door of hope , and way to escape . quest. but how shall this reformation be done ? who shall begin and promote it ? answ. some person must beg●n it , otherwise it cannot be done ; and who is so capable ●s you , my friends ? indeed magistrates and 〈…〉 s●ers may do much , but they cannot do all . 〈◊〉 so ●it as you ( masters of families and 〈…〉 lords ) to reform the nation , and to reap 〈◊〉 honour and reward of so noble and glo 〈…〉 a work. the whole nation depends 〈◊〉 you , and lodges within your doors ; and 〈◊〉 can say with good resolution , courage 〈◊〉 zeal , as that good man said , ios. 24. 15. 〈◊〉 for me and my house , we will serve the lord : 〈◊〉 may you signalize your selves for men of 〈…〉 our , and gain the honour due to conque 〈…〉 , over the power of darkness . and tho' 〈◊〉 meet with opposition and discouragement 〈◊〉 , yet after wards , when men are inlight 〈…〉 and made sensible of their own good , the 〈…〉 ole nation will respect and honour you , yea 〈…〉 ren and earth will smile upon you , and join 〈◊〉 you in songs of everlasting joy and 〈…〉 mph . object . alas ! what can we do ? we need 〈…〉 ormation as well as others . most of us are 〈…〉 orant , and all of us are guilty : we know 〈◊〉 what to do ; we cannot re●orm our selves , 〈◊〉 less others . answ. it is true , you have neither skill , 〈…〉 ll nor power , to reform others , until your 〈…〉 res be new creatures ; you cannot direct o 〈…〉 rs in the way which you know not , and you 〈◊〉 not assist others in the work which you 〈◊〉 not ; you cannot lead others , while your 〈◊〉 are blind , nor strengthen others , while 〈◊〉 selves are weak in grace . therefore self-reformation must go before family-reformation ; you must first learn before you can teach . and for your assistance , this method is humbly offered to each of you . 1. retire from the world for some time , and remove from thy mind all thoughts of it , and all concerns about it , that there may be room for spiritual meditation . 2. consider that thou hast a faculty or power of thinking , whereby thou art capable to know spiritual things , and to converse with spiritual beings : and that this spiritual part of thee , is out of its element , and acting contrary to its nature , when it is employed about earthly things . 3. consider that thou gavest not being to thy self ; for thou canst not make thy self wiser nor taller ; thou canst not give to thy self the things which thou wantest ; thou canst not add one finger to thy hand , nor one joint to thy body ; neither can any other creature give them to thee . and this will oblige thee to believe , that there is a supream being , which made all things , and upon whom all do depend . 4. being convinced that there is a god , or a supream being , who made and maintains all things , and to whom all are accountable ; surely there must be some acknowledgments of dependance upon him , and of duty towards him ; and this will oblige thee to enquire after his will , laws and commands . 5. and since his will and laws are to be 〈◊〉 no where so likely , as in that book which 〈…〉 lled the bible , and which is commonly 〈…〉 ed for his word , thou wilt think it thy 〈◊〉 to enquire diligently and seriously into 〈◊〉 book , and remark every thing contained 〈…〉 ein , which will wonderfully inform thy 〈◊〉 and direct thy judgment , and shew thee 〈◊〉 his will and ways , and thy state and duty . 〈…〉 particularly , this holy book will teach thee 〈◊〉 six things ; without the knowledge 〈…〉 ereof thou art not safe , and canst not be 〈…〉 ppy . 1. that man was created innocent and ho 〈…〉 endued with the image of god , whereby 〈…〉 was admirably furnished and fitly qualifyed 〈…〉 glorify and enjoy god. 2. that god the creator made a covenant 〈…〉 man , including all his posterity , promi 〈…〉 g them life and happiness upon their obe 〈…〉 ence ; and threatning them with death and 〈…〉 isery , upon their disobedience . 3. that man did disobey , and rebelled a●●inst his maker , and turned away from him , 〈…〉 made himself and all his posterity , 〈◊〉 〈…〉 miserable ; so that the holy nature of god 〈…〉 orred him , the righteous law of god con 〈…〉 ned him , and the honour and justice of 〈…〉 , required , that the curse of the law should 〈…〉 inflicted upon him . 4. man being thus become abominable and 〈…〉 serable , he was altogether unable to restore himself to his former state ; he had no power to satisfy the justice of god , no skill to intreat his mercy , and no merit to procure his favour . yea , he had no creature in heaven not earth to befriend him , nor to interceed for him . 5. in this extremity of misery , the infinitely wise and gracious god , was pleased to pity mankind , and did promise , and in due time sent a saviour to redeem him , and to restore him to favour , and that without any necessity , merit or motive , but only of his own free love and abundant grace , gen. 3. 15. io. 3. 16. 6. that in and through this saviour , god was graciously pleased to enter into new terms with man , to make a covenant o● grace with him , promising life and salvation to those who believe , and receive him upon the terms that he is offered ; and denouncing death and damnation to those who believe not , but despise and reject this saviour , io. 3. 18 , 36. quest. what needs all this ? is sin so great an evil as to offend god , and make man so miserable ? answ. sin is the greatest evil in the world 〈…〉 and the only cause of all other evil , because i 〈…〉 is contrary to the nature and will of the● greatest good. it is the only thing in the world that god hates , yea , he must abhor and● spunish it , because it is contrary to his purity and holiness , and the violation of his laws● which are holy , just and good , hab. 1. 23. so that as the law of god is violated by 〈…〉 , it must be repaired by suffering , either in 〈…〉 sinner or his surety . for the honour of 〈…〉 d is concerned to vindicate his justice , and 〈…〉 justice is concerned to maintain his law. quest. adam sinned , and must i suffer ? what ●th his sin affect me ? answ. adam being the natural and federal 〈…〉 ent to all mankind , his guilt is reckoned 〈…〉 e , his punishment is due to thee , his cor 〈…〉 ted nature is inherent in thee , and many 〈…〉 of rebellion and transgression like unto 〈…〉 ● have been committed by thee . and if 〈◊〉 did most justly condemn the whole world 〈…〉 one sin , he may likewise most justly con 〈…〉 n thee for many sins . quest. what way then can i be saved ? answ. there is salvation to be obtained . 〈…〉 d if thou diligently studiest two books , thou 〈…〉 be thereby disposed to look and long for 〈…〉 saviour , and gladly accept of him , being of 〈…〉 d unto thee . ● . seriously study the book of god's law , 〈…〉 be firmly persuaded , that all the precepts 〈…〉 eof are holy , just and good , and do oblige 〈…〉 inward as well as the outward man , the 〈…〉 rt and affections as well as words and 〈…〉 ions ; and declareth every one accursed 〈…〉 o continueth not in every thing written in 〈…〉 law to do the same , deut. 27. 26. gal. 3. 10 , the law cannot pass by a transgression , nor 〈…〉 give a sin. ● diligently acquaint thy self with the book of thine own conscience , that thou may 〈◊〉 know thy self ; and thou wilt find , that thou ● art a sinner , and a transgressor of the holy ● laws of god , both in thoughts , words and ● actions . yea , thou wilt find , that in thy natural and unregenerate state , thou dost nothing● but sin , heb. 11. 6. rom. 8. 7 , 8. and in thy renewed state , thou dost nothing without 〈◊〉 eccles. 7. 20. 1 io. 1. 8. thou wilt find , that naturally thou art destitute of the image of god ; that thou a● dead in trespasses and sins , and art by natu●● a child of wrath , and lyable to the just judgments of god , rom. 5. 18. ephes. 2. 1 , 3. that thy whole man is corrupted , and treasures of wickedness in every faculty of thy sou● 1. thy understanding is full of darkne● and error , great ignorance of god and of sp●ritual things , and yet thou would be accounte● wise , but art negligent in seeking after use●● knowledge , eph. 4. 18. 2. thy will is obstinate , perverse and co●●trary to good , rebelling and fighting again●● god and his law , and wholly inclined to ev●● and vanity , io. 5. 40. 3. the conscience is perverted , corrupted an● de●iled , full of treachery , deceit and lies , apt 〈…〉 call evil good , and good evil , and to flatter t 〈…〉 soul with formal pretences and shadows , wit● out sincerity or reality , 1 tim. 4. 2. tit. 1. 1● 4. the memory is corrupted and vain , a 〈…〉 to forget god , dependance upon him , and eve● ●●ty towards him , both as to matter and 〈…〉 er , substance and quality . it is apt to re 〈…〉 wickedness , vanity and trifles , but to let 〈…〉 seful and necessary truths . 5. the affections and passions are all cor 〈…〉 ed and abused ; our admiration , our love , 〈…〉 anger , our hatred , our desire , our fear , our 〈…〉 , our grief , our anger , &c. are often em 〈…〉 ed and exercised about things quite con 〈…〉 y to the appointment of god's law. 〈◊〉 that the heart of man is become a very 〈◊〉 generate thing , a sink of sin and mass of cor 〈…〉 ion , full of malice , impiety and impurity , 〈…〉 ereby the spiritual and heaven-born soul is 〈…〉 ome despicable , base and miserable , a slave 〈◊〉 own servants , yea even to its greatest 〈…〉 mies , under the dominion of sin , satan , the 〈…〉 rld and the flesh. and yet the greatest misery of all is , that 〈◊〉 is not sensible of this his miserable condi 〈…〉 , he knows it not , he is not affected with it ; 〈…〉 goes light under his load , and is chearful 〈…〉 is chains , fancying himself safe , happy and 〈◊〉 rev. 3. 17. and why ? because his mind 〈…〉 nded , and his heart hardned . for it is of 〈◊〉 nature of sin to blind the mind and harden 〈◊〉 heart , as well as to de●ile the conscience 〈◊〉 pollute the soul. that very sin which 〈…〉 es the man guilty , makes him likewise past 〈…〉 ng , eph. 4. 18 , 19. ●oe is me ! is this my condition ? am i one 〈…〉 hese miserable creatures ? am i yet in a natural and unregenerate state ? i am not safe . what shall i do ? if thou art truly awakened from thy lethargy , and convinced of thy sin and misery ; if thou art deeply humbled under a sense of the same ; if thou art perswaded , that thou canst not be saved by thy own power , thy skill , thy duties , nor thy merits ; if thou art so humble , that thou art willing to be beholden to another for help and safety ; yea , if thou hast hungring and thirsting desires after salvation , and art glad to submit to any terms to escape sin and misery , and to obtain happiness and glory : then ( and not till then ) art thou fit to hear of christ the saviour , and to receive that comfortable invitation , mat. 11. 28. come unto me , &c. isaiah 55. 1 , 2. christ came to seek and to save such lost sinners , as despair of salvation any other way ; he will be a physitian to such sick souls . behold the terms of the gospel-covenant . if thou truly and sincerely repentest of sin , so that thou inwardly loathest and abhorrest it , and thy self , for being guilty of it . if thou truly and sincerely believest in christ , so as to prize him above all things ; if thou receivest and acceptest of him upon the terms of the covenant of grace , as he is offered in the gospel , for thy prophet and teacher , for thy priest and peace-maker , for thy king and ruler , for thy lord , and law-giver , as well as thy saviour and redeemer ; if thou submittest 〈◊〉 committest thy self unto him , and art as 〈…〉 ing to give obedience to him as to receive 〈…〉 ation from him , to be sanctified by his spi●●s well as to be saved by his merits , and 〈…〉 ly resolvest to continue stedfast in this hap 〈…〉 〈…〉 emper of mind to the end of thy life ; then 〈…〉 sin is pardoned , thy soul regenerated , thy 〈…〉 re sanctified , and thy salvation infallible , 〈…〉 8. 1. io. 6. 35 , 37. io. 5. 24. io. 3. 18 , 36. 〈◊〉 after thou hast laid the firm foundation of 〈◊〉 faith in the lord jesus christ , thou dili●●ly addest to thy faith , vertue , knowledge , 〈…〉 perance , patience , godliness , brotherly 〈…〉 dness , charity , and the rest of those heaven●● graces and holy vertues , which are fruits 〈◊〉 effects of faith ; and dost abound in all 〈…〉 se , acting all graces , practising all ver●ues , 〈◊〉 performing all duties ; and yet 〈…〉 ting in 〈…〉 ce of them , but only in jesus christ for sal●●ion ; then art thou as sure to be eternally 〈◊〉 , as thou art sure that thy repentance is 〈◊〉 , thy faith true , and thy obedience sincere , 〈◊〉 . 5. 4. act. 3. 19. mark 16. 16. act. 16. 〈…〉 heb. 5. 9. 2 pet. 1. 5 , 10 , 11. be carefull still , to use humble and hearty 〈…〉 yers , as the mean to procure all this , mat. 〈…〉 . and still apply unto , and depend upon 〈◊〉 holy spirit , as the effectual worker of all 〈◊〉 , rom. 8. 26. io. 15. 5. 2 cor. 3. 5. now , my friends , this is the way , walk ye 〈◊〉 . if ye know these things , happy are ye , if 〈…〉 o , and teach them . be not content to go to heaven alone , but take compassion upon other● and help them forward in this good way . per●swade your selves , that christ's command ob●liges you , luke 22. 32. when you are converted , strengthen you brethren , especially your children , servant and all within your gates , and under you● charge . god's command is your duty , and bin● you to obedience in this particular , mat. 22. 39● thou shalt love thy neighbour as thy self . quest. what method shall we use in reform●ing our families ? answ. having brought your mind to a ser●●ous frame , and being perswaded of the nece●sity and excellency of holiness , and havin● learned the duties of humility and self-d●●nyal ; then follow this method . 1. presently set ●p , and zealously keep up th● worship of god in your families , use prayer● praises , and reading of the scriptures twice ●●very day at least , in presence of all the family ●let nothing be an ordinary hindrance of thes● daily sacrifices each day ; and on the lord day , let these duties be doubled , as the ol● sacrifices were , numb . 28. 9 , 10. 2. spend one hour at least , in instructin● and examining your children and servants , i● explaining difficulties , and opening the mean●ing of the scriptures to them . at first you ma● set them tasks in some fit books of question● and answers , till their capacity be enlarged . 〈…〉 ecially be careful to teach them to know 〈…〉 selves , what they are in their natural and 〈…〉 state , and what the effects , consequents 〈…〉 wages of sin are ; and this will make your 〈…〉 er-work more easy . for if you can tho●ly convince them , that they are sinners , 〈…〉 that the wages of every sin is death and 〈…〉 ation , and that there is no safety but in 〈…〉 christ , and that in him is perfect righ 〈…〉 sness and plenteous redemption to all that 〈…〉 receive him as he is offered ; then it will 〈…〉 asy to perswade them to learn to know 〈…〉 st and the method of salvation by him . 〈…〉 ey will be glad to be directed to the city 〈…〉 refuge , when they see themselves pursued 〈…〉 the justice of the sin-revenging god , and 〈…〉 ble to all the curses of his law. whereas without the knowledge of them●●es and their own state , they will not desire 〈…〉 knowledge of christ , nor submit to chri 〈…〉 duties . what are all the physitians in 〈…〉 wn to a man in health and vigour , or all 〈…〉 places of refuge to a man that thinks 〈…〉 self honest and innocent . 3. allow them time , and exhort them to 〈…〉 prove it in secret prayer , reading the scrip●●es , meditation , and examining their own 〈…〉 rts ; and give them directions how to do 〈…〉 se things to good purpose . 4. let your holy example be their constant 〈…〉 ern , and your watchful eye their constant 〈…〉 itor , and your frequent and familiar conferences with them , be their constant encouragement . occasional advices and pious directions insinuated and dropt into them a● vvork , or at meals , will wonderfully advanc● and set forward your solemn teachings . 5. neglect not to use meekness and patience , love and kindness in all your dealing with them , in matters of religion , that the● may be convinced , that you chiefly intend th● good of their souls . 6. let no stubborn despisers of piety remain within your doors , lest they poison th● rest , and render your labours fruitless . 7. encourage the tractable and diligent , a● first , with little rewards , till they come t● feel the sweetness of holiness , the power o● grace , and the habits of vertue ; till they b● acquainted with the teachings of the holy spirit , and then your work will be pleasant and delightful , your scholars will then become teachers . if you doubt of your duty , and think that this is more than is required of you , then consider these arguments to prove your obligation . 1. it is the express command , and positive● law of the great king of heaven , the loving and gracious god , that you should teach and instruct your families ; and therefore it is your indispensible duty : and you cannot neglect it without rebellion against your creator , your father and soveraign . take your bible , read 〈◊〉 consider these texts , deut. 6. 4. deut. 〈…〉 .19 . deut. 4. 10 eph. 6. 4. 〈…〉 god 's faithful children and servants 〈…〉 carefully performed this duty . christ 〈…〉 ed with and instructed his family , luke 〈…〉 mark 4. 10 , 14. cornelius feared god 〈…〉 all his house , act. 10. 2. abraham's pur 〈…〉 s approved of the lord , gen. 18. 19. and 〈…〉 lord tells you , io. 8. 39. if ye were abra 〈…〉 children , ye would do the works of abra 〈…〉 ; that is , if ye had faith , ye would imi 〈…〉 his example . 〈…〉 holy david's practice be your daily 〈…〉 ern , psal. 101. 2 sam. 6. 20. 〈…〉 the law of nature obligeth you to this 〈◊〉 ; your children are pieces of your selves , your servants stand in a near relation to 〈◊〉 you feed and cloath their bodies , and 〈…〉 it your duty to do so , it is unnatural 〈…〉 ty to neglect and starve the soul , and suf 〈…〉 to perish for want of knowledge and good 〈…〉 ation . they cannot serve you without 〈◊〉 , but with the whole man ; therefore 〈…〉 ght to take care of the whole man , and 〈…〉 t your greatest care upon the better 〈◊〉 ; otherwise many birds and beasts are 〈…〉 ng behind with you . let your religion reason appear , in taking more care of the 〈…〉 t s of the most high god , than of your 〈…〉 and horses . 〈…〉 the oath of god is upon you by your 〈…〉 smal engagements , that you will keep god's holy vvill and commandments all the days of your life ; and you daily pray , that the vvill of god may be done on earth as it is in heaven . and since it is the command and will o● god , that you worship him in your families and oblige all that are under your charge to d● the sam● , you mock god , if you act not according to your promise and prayers , and yo● give your selves the lye , when you do not a● you s●y . 5. god hath intrusted you with the charg● of your f●milies , as his vicegerent and deputy and hath invested you with christ's three o●●fices , to enable you to discharge that trust. 1. of a prophet , to instruct and teach all u●●der your charge , to make known to them t●● mind of god. 2. of a priest , to offer up to god the sacr●●fices of prayer and praises , with and for the●● 3. of a king , to rule , govern , and keep goo● order in your family ; to rebuke and puni 〈…〉 error and vice , and to encourage and rewa 〈…〉 piety and vertue . and since you must give account of this yo● charge and stewardship to the righteo 〈…〉 judge , be careful so to manage and dischar 〈…〉 it , that neither the law of god , the gospel 〈◊〉 christ , your own conscience , nor any in yo 〈…〉 family , may accuse or condemn you at that da 〈…〉 6. seriously consider the bad and dread 〈…〉 effects of the neglect of family-piety , solom 〈…〉 〈…〉 you , prov. 22. 6. train up a child in the 〈◊〉 where in he should go , and when he is old , he 〈◊〉 not depart from it . so that all the enor 〈…〉 es and impieties that every where abound , 〈◊〉 the miserable and unhappy consequences 〈◊〉 your neglect and carelesness . and when all 〈…〉 ese iniquities are charged upon your score , 〈…〉 at a dreadful r●ckoning will it make ? no 〈…〉 nks to you , that england is yet 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 doth not suffer like sodom . 7. consider the glorious and com●ortable ●ffects that will attend your diligent and faith 〈…〉 ● discharge of family-duties , and that in a 〈…〉 reesold respect . 1. in respect of the publick . your fami 〈…〉 are the nurseries and se●inaries both of ●hurch and state. parishes , towns , cities ●nd societies are made up of them , and all ●e 〈…〉 ions flow from them . therefore to make families good and reli●ious , is the most ready way to make good ●●gistrates , good subjects , good 〈◊〉 , ●ood church members , good husbands , good ●ives , good masters , good servants , good ●iends and good neighbours . so that if your families be schools of piety 〈◊〉 vertue , both church and commonwealth ●ill reap the fruits of your labours , and ●weetly commemorate your commendation . neither magistrates nor ministers are ●o ●a●●ble to do this as you are , because your 〈◊〉 are contin●ally under your ●ye , and do more immediately depend upon you , and ar● more awed by you . b● this your religious care and diligence● ye mi●ht be very helpful both to magistrate● and ministers , and make their offices pleasant and delightful , which now are comfortl●ss and toilsom . particularly you would greatly assist and encourage ministers , by preparing ●he ground wherein they might sow 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , by laying a good foundation o● 〈◊〉 and solid principles , whereupon they 〈◊〉 ●uild by preaching ; whereas now by 〈◊〉 neg●●ct , their labour is lost , and their p●ins unprofitable . mo●eover , were your families reformed a●d made sanctuaries for the vvorship and service of god , good ministers would take pleasure to visit you , to assist and encourage you : vvhereas now they are afraid to come near you , lest they be flattered , ●louted or vainly diverted by your carnal conversation . for i verily suppose , that much of the fault lyes in you , that they do not practice that ant●●nt and laudable custom of teaching from house to house , whereby they might do more good ●o souls in one year , than perhaps they can do by publick preaching in seven . 2. in respect of your selves , the effects of your religious care of your families will be g●●at . vvhen the inhabitants of your house become the children and servants of the great king of h●aven , your families will be happy 〈…〉 ourable ; the rich blessings of the boun 〈…〉 god will be multiplyed unto them , as la 〈…〉 as blest for iacob's sake , and potiphar 〈…〉 sephs . moreover , they will be more active , 〈◊〉 and faithful in serving you , when they 〈…〉 m their duties in the fear of the lord , 〈…〉 om a principle of good conscience . piety 〈…〉 ays the best policy . the fruits of your religious care will be 〈◊〉 , with respect to your children and ser 〈…〉 themselves , both as to time and eter 〈…〉 your holy care may be a mean to make 〈…〉 happy , both here and hereafter . you may 〈…〉 r●ments of preventing and preserving 〈◊〉 from many miscarriages , misfortunes and 〈…〉 ies , which the want of good education , 〈◊〉 vitious course exposes them to , and of 〈…〉 ying them from eternal damnation . 〈…〉 now , my friends , what greater honour , 〈…〉 ess and comfort can you desire , than 〈◊〉 employ and signalize your selves , in 〈…〉 e honourable and happy instruments 〈…〉 orifying god , and of reforming both 〈…〉 h and kingdom , of promoting religio● , 〈…〉 eating the designs of satan , of prevent 〈…〉 〈…〉 d removing much wickedness , and 〈…〉 g many souls to eternal happiness . 〈…〉 efore zealously ply your work , and 〈…〉 ntly expect your reward , from him 〈…〉 at h promised , 1 sam. 2. 30. them that 〈◊〉 ●e , will i honour , &c. dan. 12. 3. they 〈◊〉 many to righteousness , shall shine as the stars , for ever and ever , james 5. 20. he th●● converteth a sinner from the evil of his way , sh●● save a soul from death , and shall hide a mult●tude of sins , psal. 112. 6. the righteous shall in everlasting remembrance , mat. 25. 46. t●● righteous shall go into life eternal . let this encourage your diligence , that yo●● satisfaction and comfort will be great in th●● life , your memory will be sweet to posteri●● and your reward will be everlasting glory . not withstanding all that hath been sa●● wicked men and hypocrites will be apt 〈◊〉 make several objections , to excuse themselv●● from this noble and excellent work ; un●● which i shall subjoin proper answers , as 〈◊〉 many arguments and motives , to encoura●● your labour and excite your diligence . 1 object . if we should instruct our famili●● we may make them hypocrites , we cann●● make them christians ; it 's god alone th●● can change the heart . answ. god ordinarily worketh by mea● and bestoweth his grace in the use of the o●●dinances which he hath appointed . vvhatev●● god worketh in us or , for us , he ordinar● doth by us , and with us ; and what he promiseth to us as blessings , he requireth of us as d●ties , ezek. 36. 26. ezek. 18. 31. 2 object . the work is impossible , the case 〈◊〉 desperate ; wickedness is become so univers●● that it is folly to attempt a reformation . answ. god and his servants can do ●● 〈◊〉 phil. 4. 13. god hath promised his ho 〈…〉 it to all those who ask him , luke 11. 13. 〈…〉 a spirit of wisdom , couns●l and power , 〈…〉 if you sincerely use the means of his ap 〈…〉 ment , he will guide you into all truth , 〈…〉 ill help your infirmities , he will encourage 〈◊〉 hearts , direct your judgments , and as 〈…〉 your endeavours . ● object . we have not time nor leasure to 〈…〉 ct our families every day , and to call 〈…〉 to account , to pray with them , and read ●hem , &c. answ. you will ●ind time to eat , drink , 〈◊〉 , and to enjoy your sensual pleasures , and 〈◊〉 not to mind spiritual pleasures , which are 〈…〉 e noble ? you will ●ind time to die , and 〈◊〉 be judged , and why not to prepare for the 〈…〉 e ? your only business in the world is to honour 〈◊〉 glorify god , and to work out your salva 〈…〉 ; this is the one thing needful : ●f this be 〈…〉 glected , all other business is to no purpose . be careful to redeem your time from these 〈◊〉 great robbers , and you will have leasure 〈…〉 ough for spiritual concerns : to wit , from , 〈◊〉 vain recreations , 2. vain discou●ses , 3. vain 〈…〉 houghts , 4. immoderate sleepi●g , eating 〈…〉 d drinking ; and 5. immoderate care about 〈…〉 orldly business . there is nothing can hinder your minding 〈…〉 spiritual concerns of your selves and fami 〈…〉 , but the vanities of the vvorld , or the lusts of the flesh ; and these ye have renounced in your baptism , and vowed a perpetual vvar against them ; so that you are perjured if you suffer your selves to be entangled an● hindred by them , mat. 16. 26. 1 io. 2. 15 , 16. 4 object . it is below us to stoop to so mea● an office , as to teach children and servant● the first principles of religion ; we can employ our selves more nobly in the tavern or alehouse , in playing at cards , or conversing with our friends . answ. this is rather the language of practice , than of the tongue . christ our lord was of another mind , who went about doing good , and hath left us an example that we should follow his steps . he took delight , and counted it his meat and his drink , to do the vvill of his heavenly father ; and so should we , prov. 11. 30. he that winneth souls , is wise . lewis ix . king of france , was found teaching a kitchen-boy : and being asked why he stoopt to so mean an office ? he said , the meanest child of adam has as pretious a soul as mine , and bought with the same pretious blood of christ , and must shine in heaven , or fry in hell for ever . the ●irst step to christianity , is a profound humility . a proud christian is a painted devil . 5 object . vve are ashamed to begin that exercise , which we have often intermitted , or long neglected . answ. if thou art ashamed to repent and 〈…〉 d , and to own christ and his service , pre 〈…〉 thee to receive that sentence , depart from 〈…〉 ye workers of iniquity , luke 13. ●7 . mark 〈…〉 8. christ rejoiced to take our nature● that 〈◊〉 night die , to redeem us . vve should re 〈…〉 to have our nature renewed , that we 〈…〉 become like him , and be made partakers 〈◊〉 salvation , 2 cor. 5. 17. rom. 8. 9. ● object . vve are wllling to set up the wor 〈…〉 of god , and to reform our families , but 〈…〉 e loath to begin yet ; we would have 〈◊〉 to shew us the way , and bring this exer 〈…〉 into custom . 〈…〉 sw . all delays are dangerous , but here 〈◊〉 are damnable , because contrary to god's 〈…〉 mands , heb. 3. 7 , 8. 2 cor. 6. 2. if you 〈…〉 se your selves , and postpone , decline and 〈◊〉 this great and necessary work , god may 〈◊〉 remove you out of the way , and raise up 〈…〉 rs , who may be instruments of a great and 〈…〉 ious reformation , which you may never 〈◊〉 the happiness to see . for the glorious 〈◊〉 will be glorified , and his holy name shall 〈…〉 llowed ; and happy they who shall be in 〈…〉 ents of it . let a holy ambition always 〈…〉 s your souls , and covet that honour 〈◊〉 cometh from god. if you desire the 〈…〉 est honour and reward , do not decline 〈…〉 rdest vvork . ● object . vve shall be jeered and laughed 〈◊〉 i● we be singular , and differ from our 〈…〉 ghbours . answ. sober singularity , is safer than joint ●●mpiety . it is better to walk alone in god'●● way , than with company in the devils . as th●● world goes now , none can get to heaven , wh 〈…〉 go not contrary to its course . let ioshuah'● resolution be your example , ios. 24. 15. a● for me and my house , we will serve the lord 〈◊〉 yea , the great god commands you to be singu●lar , exod. 23. 2. thou shalt not follow a multi●tude to do evil , rom. 12. 2. be not conformed t● this world . yea , you need not be altogether● singular ; join counsels with some hones● neighbours , and encourage and assist one ano●ther . 8 object . if we shall spend so much time a●bout religio●s matters as is requisite to ac●complish these ends , we shall neglect our em●ployments , lose our custom , and so becom● poor . answ. that is the suggestion of satan , an● the distrustfulness of thy corrupt heart . god'● promises are a sure portion , mat. 6. 33. luk● 12. 31 , 32. psal. 84. 11. psal. 37. 3. moderate your worldly desires and sensu●● appeti●es ; deny the extravagant cravings o● your corrupt nature , and be contented , if yo 〈…〉 have food and rayment ; then you are as ric 〈…〉 as you desire to be , and no man is more . if your greatest care be for the better part● you will find by experience , that a few thought● of holy faith , hope and trust , will save you 〈◊〉 great many thoughts , cares and fears for you ●emporal life . notice these texts , prov. 〈…〉 . 2 , 3 , 4 , 22. psal. 34. 10 , 22. ● object . if we sh●ll addict our selves to a 〈…〉 ligious life , then we shall be dull , mopish 〈…〉 melancholy , and never have a joyful day 〈…〉 pleasant hour . answ. mistake not the shadow for the sub 〈…〉 ce ; carnal pleasures are transient and vain , 〈◊〉 spiritual pleasures are satisfying and dura 〈…〉 , iob 20. 5. the triumphing of the wicked is 〈◊〉 , and the joy of the hypocrite is but for a 〈…〉 nt , psal. 37. 35 , 36. you may read , iob 〈…〉 iob 20 , iob 21. prov. 24. 20. how unsa 〈…〉 ing and uncertain the pleasures of the 〈…〉 ed are . ●arthly pleasures may for a season gratify 〈◊〉 earthly part of us , the bodily appetites , 〈◊〉 they can never fill the unlimited d●sires of 〈◊〉 spiritual substance the soul , which those 〈◊〉 have been under trouble of mind , do 〈◊〉 by experience . 〈…〉 deed , sensual and ●arthly-minded persons , 〈…〉 se souls are dead , and consciences asleep , 〈…〉 seem to rejoice and be merry , when they 〈◊〉 the objects of their desires ; but their 〈◊〉 is both shallow and short , prov. 14. 13. even ●ughter the heart is sorrowful , and the end 〈…〉 t mirth is heaviness . 〈◊〉 is true , the children of god may ●ave 〈◊〉 sad and sorrowful hours , before they be 〈…〉 ed of their reconciliation with god ; the 〈◊〉 and sense of their corrupt nature , their sinful state and sinful practices , their estrangement from god , and the sense of his displeasure against sin , their daily rebelling corruptions , and restless enemies , do cost them many groans , sighs and tears , much sorrow and lamentation ; yet the end of that heaviness is joy , psal. 30. 5. weeping may endure for a night , but joy cometh in the morning . in the midst of all their sorrows and sufferings , the faithful servants of god can draw present comfort , solid joy , and spiritual rejoycing , from these five springs which never fail . 1. from the fountain of god's bounty and goodness , who gives to all men liberally . they recounting the great mercies and many blessings which they enjoy , and finding that they far exceed the troubles they undergo , their hearts are filled with praise and thanksgiving , whereby their minds are eased , and their souls comforted , so that they can joyfully serve the god of their mercies , even when he seems to frown upon them , iob 1. 21. and 2. 10. and 13. 15. 2. they find the spirit of god carrying on the work of sanctification in their souls , in his ordinary method , first humbling the soul , and breaking the heart , exciting to mourning , contrition and repentance , before he intimate pardon and forgiveness . and they know , that he who is now a sancti●ier and worker of grace , will e're long , appear to be a comforter and 〈…〉 ne●s of grace , mat. 5. 4. psal. 126. 5 , 6. rom. 〈…〉 16. they know that the penitent have 〈…〉 omise of pardon ; and finding repentance 〈…〉 rking in their hearts , by their hatred and 〈…〉 hing of sin ; in hope of pardon of sin , 〈…〉 ce with god , and inheritance among them 〈…〉 t are sanctified , they joy in the lord , and 〈…〉 oice in the god of their salvation . 3. the vvord of god assures them , that 〈◊〉 are spiritual pleasures sufficient to fill the 〈…〉 res of the soul , io. 16. 24. 1 io. 1. 4. ps 〈…〉 11. and their spirits do experimentally 〈…〉 est this truth ; so that they are filled with 〈…〉 oy and peace in believin● rom. 15. 13. and 〈…〉 glory even in tribul 〈…〉 n , rom. 5. 2 , 3. 4. the promises of god are an overflowing 〈…〉 ntain of joy , peace and comfort to all the 〈…〉 ithful . the child of god esteems them 〈…〉 etious , and would not part with them for 〈◊〉 whole world , 2 pet. 1. 4. psal. 110. 72. these promises do fully assure us , that sor 〈…〉 and mourning shall come to an end , and 〈…〉 joy , peace and com●ort , shall succeed , and 〈…〉 ure for ever , io. 16. 20. isaiah 51. 11. 〈…〉 . 21. 4. 5. the children of god do rejoice , and 〈…〉 re inward comfort in their union with 〈…〉 i st , and conformity to him . since he who their head , did live here a life of sorrows 〈◊〉 sufferings , and then entred into his glo 〈…〉 they rejoice to suffer with him , that they 〈…〉 be glorified together with him , 1 pet. 4. 〈…〉 . rom. 8. 17. so you see , and you ought to believe , that if you sincerely love and serve god , you may have solid joy and continual comfort from these five grounds : 1. from god's love and goodness . 2. from the workings and witness of the glorious spirit . 3. from the truth of god. 4. from his gracious promises . and , 5. from your interest in christ , and likeness to him . yea , prayer and meditation will never fail to refresh the soul , and chear the heart . so that it is your great mistake to think , that religion yields no pleasure , but is a dull and melancholy state ; ●it is great ignorance and delusion , that makes ●s ●en to think or speak so , contrary to god's word , and his childrens experience , prov. 3. 17. all her ways are ways of pleasantness , and all his paths are peace , psal. 34. 8. o taste , and see that god is good ; blessed is the man that trusteth in him , psal. 63. 5. my soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness , and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips. yea , there is no true pleasure in the world but in the ways of religion , because none else can satisfy the soul. all earthly pleasures are brutish and ●it for the body , that earthly part of us , and are common to us with the brutes , and which some of them enjoy in a larger measure than we do . only spiritual pleasures are fit for spiritual beings . if this be your temper , that you take more pleasure in earthly things and bodily concerns , than in religious exercises and the divine promises : besure , you are yet in your ●atural and sinful state , and cannot be sa●ed , till you be renewed , regenerated and ●orn again , rom. 8. 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 13. io. 3. 3. 10 object . our consciences tell us , and we confess ingenuously , that the chief cause o● our neglect of these duties , is our sloth and lazi●ess , prov. 15. 19. answ. this is as dangerous , deadly and ●mning a sin as you can be guilty of , and will ●ore slily and as effectually undo you , as the ●ost heinous crimes , mat. 25. 26 , 30. the ●thful and unprofitable servant is condemned as ●ll as the wicked , prov. 18. 9. every omission of a duty , is the commission ●f a sin , iam. 4. 17. rom. 12. 11. now , my friends , i am perswaded , that ●●st of you will approve of , and assent unto , ●hat is here proposed ; and you will own , that ●is every ones duty and interest to help for●ard a reformation . you do faintly wish , o ●at the world were better ! o that people ●ere more honest and faithful ! o that my ●hildren were good and tractable ! o that my 〈…〉 vants were more honest and trusty ! o that ●eighbours were more kind and friendly ! ●c . but wishes are vain , where e●deavour●●e wanting , prov. 13. 4. prov. 21. 25. therefore since your judgment approves , and your conscience consents , let not your will gainsay , and your practice contradict . but agree with your self , be all of one piece ; let all the faculties of your soul and powers of your body , be employed in carrying on one design , to wit , the glory and honour of god , and the eternal happiness of souls , 1 cor. 10. 31. phil. 2. 4. let not not this paper be a witness against you , nor a mean to condemn you , but rather a motive to excite you , and an instrument to perswade you . let your conscience be so informed and exercised now , that you may not be afraid nor asham'd of its testimony at the day of judgment . take heed to your selves , what conscience you have , for conscience will damn , and conscience will save . a memorandum for mothers , and those who expect to be so . honoured and loving friends , you being reasonable creatures , and called by the noble name of christians , 〈…〉 supposed and taken for granted , that you 〈◊〉 well informed in your judgment , and firm 〈…〉 persuaded in your conscience , that the glo 〈…〉 os and wise creator of all things , hath 〈…〉 ed and appointed you to bring forth , and 〈…〉 g up children for his honour and service , prepare members of his church on earth , 〈…〉 partakers of his glory in heaven . and it 〈◊〉 be thought , that all of you are ambitious ● this honour , to be instrumental causes of a 〈…〉 oly seed and blessed off-spring , which may ●ake up the church of christ in the world , and replenish heaven with saints , to shine in glory , and celebrate the praises of the eternal king. i believe all of you are desirous of dignity , and ambitious of honour , and here is honour indeed , to be the mothers and nurses of little angels , children of the most high , that may reign in glory , and shin● in heaven for ever . i believe none of you will say , that you are willing to gratify satan to bring forth and educate children to be his slaves , and subjects of hi● kingdom ; who being enemies to god and his ways , may carry on the devil's work in the world , and then 〈◊〉 tormented with him , and howl in hell for ever . surely , you will not affirm , that you are willing to go to that place of torment your selves , nor to have any of your children so unhappy and miserable , as to remain in the burning bottomless pit to all eternity . and yet woful experience doth plainly shew , that many imprudent and fond parents ( especially mothers ) are the greatest enemies to their own children , and do further their ruine and misery more than the devil , or any other enemy can do , by gratifying their sens●al appetites , pleasing their foolish fancies , satisfying their unreasonable desires , pampering their corrupt nature , encouraging them in vanity and folly , and perhaps by shewing them bad examples ; in a word , by giving them their own will , and with-holding from them that ●ecessary instruction and seasonable correction , ●hich is requisite to the renewing of their co●rup●ed nature , and bringing them out of a 〈…〉 ate of sin and vice , into a state of holiness ●d vertue . and by this means , they are fit●ed for satan's service , and prepared to com●ly with most of his temptations . it is most certain , that neither the devil nor ●e world , can tempt children , until they be ●apable of yielding and giving their consent . now if the fi●st buddings of vice and wicked●ess springing from the root of corrupt na●●re , were timely suppressed and removed , the root would languish and decay , and satan ●ould find nothing in them whereupon to fa●en his temptations , io. 14. 30. and if the seeds of true knowledge , piety and vertue , ●ere timely and carefully sown , and duly and diligently watered , the● would be sufficiently ●●rnished against his assaults , and quali●ied to resist his greatest temptations , eph. 6. 11 , 13. now since children are born ignorant ( tho' ●ot innocent ) they must be taught and in●●ructed , they must know their duty before they can do it ; and who can so properly do this as parents , especially you mothers , who have the immediate management of them i● their tender age , who are oftenest with them , have greatest influence upon them , and are most capable to oblige and prevail with them . you who are the causes of their being , are most obliged to contribute to their well-being . quest. what means shall we use ? what method shall we take ? answ. 1. being entred into a married state , and having diligently and faithfully acquainted your selves with the duties incumbent upon you in that state ( which god's word and other good books do teach ; ) let your chief design be to honour and glorify god in that holy state which he hath ordained . and by humble supplication beg his blessing on the means of his own appointment , that your seed and off-spring may be instruments of his glory , and subjects of his kingdom ; and imitate holy hannah , 1 sam. 1. 11. dedicate unto the lord what he lends unto you ; and pray that his grace may sanctifie and prepare it for his service . 2. when your child is born , renew your oblation , dedicate and offer it up to god as a living holy-sacrifice , to be employed in his service , to live to his honour , and to be under his protection all the days of its life , exod. 34. 19. 3. at the time of the child 's solemn and publick dedication or christning , instead of foolish feasting , flattering and pratling , call together some christian friends , who may join with you in praising god , for adding a new member to his church , and for making you the happy instrument of it ; and in praying to god for the preservation , sanctification and salvation of the child . 4. if it be possible , carefully nurse the child ●our self , and let it take its nourishment ●hence it derived its substance , that it may be ●holly yours . you may read your duty in ●his particular , in ier. taylor 's doctrine con●●rning the virgin mary's nursing the holy child jesus , in his book called , the great examplar . and in the section concerning wives , in the book called , the ladies calling . 5. when the dawnings of reason appears , ●●d nature begins to shew it self in the child , ●●en bestir your self , and apply great care and ●iligence in prayer and pains , to have the cor●apt nature rectified , the image of satan re●oved , and the divine nature and image of god renewed in it . quest. are children destitute of god's 〈…〉 age , and a new nature ? answ. yes ; all the posterity of rebelliou● adam , are guilty a●d polluted , void of good , 〈…〉 d full of evil , psal. 51. 5. they are shapen in ●quity and conceived in sin , job . 14. 4. they are 〈…〉 clean branches of a corrupt root , jo. 3. 6. that ●●ich is born of the flesh , is flesh ; that is , unholy ●●d corrupt , rom. 8. 8. they that are in the ●lesh , cannot please god , because they are not 〈…〉 ke him , they are not pure and holy . you find , col. 3. 10. eph. 4. 24. that th●●●age of god consists in knowledge , righte●sness and true holiness . now you see , that children are altogether ●estitute of these qualifications , and are very averse and backward to learn or acquire them , which teachers of youth find by experience . quest. have children the image of satan , and a corrupt nature ? answ. yes ; all adam's posterity are not only destitute of righteousness , but inclined to all iniquity , gen. 6. 5. a subject capable of two contrary qualities , must have one of them ; the air must be either dark or light , wax must be either hard or soft . the heart of mankind must be either good and holy , or else bad and wicked , it must be ei●her for god or against him . now god's word tells us , rom. 8. 7. the carnal mind is enmity against god , and is no● subject to his law. and indeed no worse can● be in the devil , than enmity against god , and rebellion against his laws . we are not only strangers , but enemies to god , psal. 58. 3. rom. 5. 10. but the depraved and corrupted nature in children , appears in several particulars . 1. they are altogether ignorant and destitute of knowledge , a thick cloud of darkness overspreads their understanding , eph. 4. 18. they are wholly unacquainted with the natural as well as the positive law of god , and unwilling to use means , or take pains to know the same . 2. pride and self-conceit appears very early in them ; they love to be flattered , to be called good and pretty ; they are apt to value 〈…〉 emselves upon account of their great or rich 〈…〉 ents , their fine ornaments or gay cloath● &c. now pride is said to be the first sin 〈…〉 he devil , and is most contrary to the na 〈…〉 e of god , and abominable in his sight , 〈…〉 pet. 5. 5. 3. all know how children are generally in●ined to lying , dissimulation and falshood , 〈…〉 ich plainly shews , that they have too much 〈…〉 the nature and image of him who is the 〈…〉 ther of lyes , io. 8. 44. 4. all their passions and affections are cor●pted and distempered , and far from that 〈…〉 nd , which was in the lord jesus , and must 〈…〉 in every disciple of his , before they can 〈◊〉 saved , phil. 2. 5. io. 3. 3. mat. 18. how 〈…〉 ward are children to anger , hatred , ma●e , envy , revenge , quarreling , fighting , 〈…〉 enging themselves on those that wrong 〈…〉 m , domineering over those they can con●er ? how much are they inclined to sensual 〈…〉 tish pleasures , vanity , folly and trifling ? 〈…〉 w prone are they to fretting , murmuring , 〈…〉 ishness and discontent , if their humours 〈◊〉 not pleased , and their appetites satisfied ? 〈◊〉 these are plain indications , that their na●e is wholly evil , and directly contrary to 〈◊〉 innocent , patient , meek , humble and holy 〈…〉 ure , which appeared in our lord jesus 〈…〉 rist , mat. 11. 29. 1 pet. 2. 21 , 22 , 23. 5. that faculty the will , is basely 〈…〉 rupted and and depraved , which plainly appears in children , by their stubbornness , perverseness , wilfulness , untractableness , unplyableness and disobedience . if childrens will were not restrained by something without them , they would soon run into ruine . 6. their memory ( that treasury of the soul , ) is corrupted and vitiated . how soon do they forget good instructions , admonitions and advices ; yea , their own promises and resolutions ? how apt are they to remember trifles , folly , play and vanity ? 7. their continuing in this black and miserable state , when they come to years , their willingness to squander away time in idleness , play or wickedness , and their backwardness to go to school , to yield or hearken to the instructions of parents and teachers ; their unwillingness to go to church , and their unattentiveness there , doth plainly declare , that they are not only under the dominion of sin and satan , but that they are willing slaves to that ●oul spirit ; and delight to do the devil's drudgery , rather than to serve the high and holy god in spirit and truth . doth not all this shew , that children have need of early care and diligent education ? now if you , parents , patiently permit them to run on in their natural course , and do not timely and diligently use means to convert and reclaim them , you consent to their sin and wickedness , and declare your willingness , tha● they be miserable for ever . but if you en●ourage them in their vices , and smile upon 〈…〉 eir follies ; if you feed their lusts and please 〈…〉 eir humours , if you give them their will 〈…〉 nd approve their cunning , if you pamper and 〈…〉 eck their bodies , put mony in their pockets , & 〈…〉 ovide portions for them , to feed their sensual 〈…〉 esires ; then you forward their damnation , 〈…〉 ou side with satan to make them miserable , 〈…〉 d you put weapons in their hands , whereby 〈…〉 ey may rebel against the king of heaven . tho' you do not think this , nor believe it 〈…〉 hen it is told you , yet your practice speaks it , 〈…〉 d the event often declares it . and it is not 〈…〉 obable , that you can be acquitted , when you 〈…〉 tribute so much to the condemnation of 〈…〉 ur children . many of you complain much of your chil●ens ignorance , negligence , idleness , diso 〈…〉 dience and extravangancy . truly , when i 〈…〉 sider their education , i nothing wonder 〈…〉 t they walk in the way which they have 〈…〉 en accustomed to , and obey that master whose 〈…〉 ice they love best , ier. 13. 23. io. 8. 44. if your children prove your cross and af 〈…〉 tion , blame your selves , who are the prin 〈…〉 al causes , by neglecting timely instruction 〈…〉 prudent correction , and perhaps by gi 〈…〉 g them bad example . and if you smart 〈…〉 der the rod of your own preparing and 〈…〉 serving , do not complain , but seriously re 〈…〉 t and speedily amend . for as you are the causes of your childrens being , so should you be of their well-being ; as you contribute to their natural life , so should you to their spiritual : as god has made them yours by natural generation , so should you endeavour to make them his by vertuous and religious education . they are a trust committed to your charge by our heavenly father , who will surely call you to account . as for you , whose children have more years than vertue , and do follow their own will more than the will of god , i leave you to the advice of spiritual guides , or civil magistrates , according to the command , deut. 21. 18. but as for you who have , or may have young children , be careful to observe these rules , and you may easily rule them , and reap good fruit and comfort for your labour . 1. speak truth and no lies to your children ; that is , whatever you teach them , see that you practice it your selves ; otherwise they will not believe that you are in earnest , nor listen to your dictates . few words will suffice , where there is a continual good example . therefore let every christian duty as well as moral vertue , be your daily practice . 2. love your children prudently , and do not hate them effectually . fond and foolish love , proves to be the greatest hatred , prov. 13. 24. away with that fond and foolish , hurtful and childish flattering , hugging , caressing and dandling of children , that is usual , which lessens your authority , tickles their fancy , and feeds their folly. make not idols of your children ; they are god's gifts , make them not his rivals ; set them not up in his throne , lest he pull them down , and punish you , either by taking them from you , or making them your cross and scourge . therefore love your children piously , and let the fruits and effects of it , appear in promoting their spiritual good. 3. feed , but do not poison your children . god has given them sive senses , but has left it to you to regulate the objects . let them neither see nor hear any thing , that may corrupt their mind or fancy . do not poison their eyes with seeing any base , wicked or foolish action , till they be fortified against it , and capable to reprove and abhor it . do not poison their ears with hearing any wicked , vain or idle words , till they be able to tes●i●ie against them , and r●buke the tongue that speaks them . for children are capable to think as soon as to see , and to form idea's as soon as to hearken . they are capable to remember , before they can judge or determine . therefore let them hear none speak , who have not learned the language of canaan ; and let them converse with none , but those who are acquainted with the lord jesus , and can help to make them so . let the streets and publick places be an abomination unto them , until holiness to the lord be written on the foreheads of all who walk there . 4. seasonably and gently bow their ironsinew , before it become too strong ; that is , make their will plyable . teach them to be denyed , and to deny themselves : let them not know , that you give them their will in any thing : humour them not in any thing they cry for : and let them have what is fit at another time , rather than when they call for it . if you let them have their own will , they will soon torment you , and ruine themselves . an unbridled will , makes an ungovernable person . but when you have effectually and prudently brought the will into good subjection and order , more than the half of your work is done . 5. throw water on their wild fire , that is , let not passions prevail : let frowns , rebukes and rods , curb , restrain and suppress their immoderate passions and irregular desires : let discipline chastise and keep in order these wild beasts , till reason be able to tame them : let them know by your countenance and behaviour , that patience , meekness and sobriety , are lovely and commendable vertues . beware of giving bad example here . 6. regulate their diet ; nourish their bodies , but do not pamper them : let them know that temperance is a vertue , and that fasting is physick : let their food be course and plain , for strength and nourishment , not for pleasing the sensual appetite : and as soon as possible , let them gain their bread by the sweat of their brow , according the command , gen. 3. 19. 2 thes. 3. 10. 7. moderate their apparel , and do not feed their ●ide : adorn their minds before you deck their bodies : ●●ch them the use of ●loaching , and let gaudiness be 〈◊〉 abomination to them : suffer them not to be proud 〈◊〉 that which covers their shame . 8. moderate their recreations ; let them never be ●e , and let every thing they do be useful and instructive , ●●pen their reason and inform their judgment . 9. when they are capable of being instructed , then ●ch them first by the ear , before you make a book ●ir burden : let them have a good treasure of sound 〈◊〉 useful truths in their memory , and be able to answer ●any questions , before you ●ix their eyes upon a let● 〈◊〉 and that ye may build them high in faith and ho●●ss , be careful to lay a sure and solid foundation : 〈◊〉 therefore , let humility be the first vertue that you ●●t in them . and for this end , make them acquaint●●ith themselves : let them know , that they are 〈◊〉 degenerate off-spring o● sinful adam ; shew them the ●●ption of their nature in all the parts of it ; what 〈◊〉 ought to have been , and what they are in their cor●ed state. make known to them the purity and ho●●ss of god's nature and law , and that every sin is an ●ence against god , and a transgression of his law : 〈◊〉 them the evil of sin , and the dreadful consequents 〈◊〉 , that every sin deserves death and damnation , and 〈◊〉 this is due to them , because they are sinners , guilty 〈◊〉 unclean creatures , enemies to god by nature , and ●●els against his just and holy laws : let them know , ●t whatever good they receive and enjoy , is purely 〈◊〉 god's free grace and bounty , and not of their own ●●●ving ; and that it is of god's great mercy , patience 〈◊〉 long-suffering , that they are not thrown into hell ●ady . 10. when you have thus awakened their minds , con●●ed their judgments , humbled their hearts , and sof●● their spirits , then ●ou may make known to them , 〈◊〉 lord jesus christ , the only saviour , his person , his ●●ures , mediation and offices , and what way he is given for mankind , offered unto them , and must be received by them , in order to their reconciliation with god : shew them the doctrine of the covenant of grace , and the method and terms of salvation , and what is the nature and extent of that holiness , which is absolutely necessary to fit them for glory and happiness , heb. 12. 14. teach them to understand the person , the offices , the dictates , motions and operations of the holy ghost the sanctifier and comforter . teach them to understand the nature and manner of the temptations of their spiritual enemies , and how to resist and overcome them . make them acquainted with the doctrine and duty of prayer ; and oblige them to pray by themselves , not by a formal repeating of words , but expressing the humble and hearty desires of their souls , from a sense of their own wants of god's goodness and gracious promises , of christ's merits and mediation , and of the holy spirit 's assistance and intercession ; and teach them to trust in god , and wait for a return of their prayers ; and in every thing to be thankful to him . particularly teach them to believe in , to prize , esteem and love the lord jesus christ , as the fountain and foundation of all the blessings and benefits which they enjoy and expect , io. 14. 6. and that they are bound in covenant with him by their baptism . 11. being thus instructed and prepared , it will be easy for you to teach them to read ; and to understand the word preached , for their further edification , and to inform their judgment , and excite their practice in all the parts of publick worship . and when they are examined and approved by the governours of the church , they may be admitted to renew their covenant with god publickly and solemnly at the lord's table . 12. when they are thus prepared , fenced and fortified , by the pious care and faithful diligence of parents , and especially of you mothers , then may they go abroad , and be sent to school to learn languages , arts and sciences , and such accomplishments as are requisite and useful for them ; which they will easily attain to , 〈◊〉 the mind is so enlightned in the knowledge of 〈◊〉 ● there i shall leave them to the conduct of faith●●chers : but do not you leave them , while life lasts . 〈◊〉 however you may be pleased with your childrens ●●●●dings , yet never flatter them ; never commend 〈◊〉 , till they really deserve it : never call them good , 〈◊〉 be effectually so ; tell them that perfection is 〈◊〉 duty , and that yet they are far from it , but must ●●rance to higher degrees of grace and holiness . now , mothers , these are some hints of that 〈◊〉 you ought to do for the sanctification and salva● of your children . this is no matter of indifferency , 〈◊〉 your indispensable duty , ( prov. 1. 8. and 6. 20. ) ●●●ore neglect it not ; it cannot be done in a short time , 〈◊〉 little pains , therefore delay it not ; but begin 〈◊〉 , and proceed diligently ; and endeavour to obtain 〈◊〉 honour of being the happy instruments of a glori●●● reformation in england ; and may all your endea●●●● be crowned with happy success . 〈◊〉 it is not good to burthen children , and break 〈◊〉 spirits with too much religion ; it raises prejudi●●● in them , and gives them false notions and apprehen●● of god and religion . 〈◊〉 surely , this language proceeds from the devil this greatest instruments , because it is so directly con●y to the dictates of god's holy spirit , prov. 22. 6. 〈◊〉 a child in the way he should go , and when he is old , 〈◊〉 depart from it , eccl. 12. 1. remember thy grea●● the days of thy youth , &c. 2 tim. 3. 15. timothy i●●●mended for knowing the holy scriptures from a 〈◊〉 , whereby he was made wise unto salvation . 〈◊〉 . we have not leisure to take all this care and 〈◊〉 upon our children . 〈◊〉 . you find leisure to beger , nurse , feed and cloath 〈◊〉 ; to take care of the body ; and will you neglect 〈◊〉 soul ? he who gives you time , and all that you en 〈…〉 appoints you this work , and will reward you ac●●ing to your management of it . therefore let nothing be a hindrance now , which cannot excuse you at that ● of account . yea , let compassion to the fruit of your ● dies , be a forcible motive to excite your diligent ● zealous endeavour , for its sanctification and salvat ● and when you have done your utmost , still acknowle●●● your selves unprofitabls servants , and that all you'● done , is to no purpose , without the sanctifying grac● 〈◊〉 the holyspirit . therefore continue your earnest sup●cations to the good and gracious god , the giver of ev● good gift , that he would give his holy spirit , to m● your labours successful and effectual ; and the rig●ousness of his beloved son , to make your endeavour● 〈◊〉 ceptable with him . therefore , tho' you ought , and 〈◊〉 obliged to use every mean of his appointment , yet 〈◊〉 to no mean , rely upon none of your performances , 〈◊〉 all your dependance be upon the lord jesus christ ; beg the spirit of christ for your assistance , and the 〈◊〉 rits of christ for your acceptance : and in every th● give thanks and praise to god the father , son 〈◊〉 holy ghost . finis . secret and family prayers with brief helps for the more devout receiving of the lords-supper and better observation of the lords-day, as also to further the needfull duties of catechizing, visiting the sick, and personal instruction. fitted for the use and benefit of the inhabitants of cartmel in lancashire. armstrong, john, 1634 or 5-1698. 1677 approx. 141 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 56 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2006-02 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a25834 wing a3708a estc r214879 99826932 99826932 31344 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a25834) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 31344) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 1901:14) secret and family prayers with brief helps for the more devout receiving of the lords-supper and better observation of the lords-day, as also to further the needfull duties of catechizing, visiting the sick, and personal instruction. fitted for the use and benefit of the inhabitants of cartmel in lancashire. armstrong, john, 1634 or 5-1698. [14], 97, [1] p. printed by j. hayes, for the author, cambridge : 1677. attributed in wing to john armstrong. signed on p. [14]: j.a. reproduction of original in the cambridge university library. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng family -prayer-books and devotions -early works to 1800. prayer -early works to 1800. 2005-08 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2005-09 apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images 2005-12 john latta sampled and proofread 2005-12 john latta text and markup reviewed and edited 2006-01 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion secret and family prayers with brief helps for the more devout receiving of the lords-supper . and better observation of the lords-day , as also to further the needfull duties of catechizing , visiting the sick , and personal instruction . fitted for the use and benefit of the inhabitants of cartmel in lancashire . if ye know these things , happy are ye if ye do them , s. john 13. 17. cambridge , printed by j. hayes , for the author . 1677. june 15. 1677. imprimatur , tho. page procan . ri. minshull . theoph. dillingham . rad. cudworth . the preface and epistle to my loving neighbours and pastoral charge . having now for a long time observed not only your frugal , charitable , and industrious way of living as to the world , but moreover in reference to many of you , your more pious care for the good education of your children , and your own spiritual welfare ; as also your maintaining order and unity above many others in the worship of god : this hath been unto me , and i hope shall continue to be the cause of no little joy and contentment of heart . yet having withall seen some among us hitherto not so diligent as they ought to be , either in keeping holy the lords day , or in receiving the sacrament of the lords supper , or in sending for the minister to visit them when sick , or in improving when in health the duty of catechising and personal instruction , that both themselves and those who live with or under them might be better informed in the ways of god : i have in the ensuing book as to each of these respects , hinted those things , which if duely considered , may prove a sutable and seasonable remedy . and particularly because as to the promoting of religion in each houshold , there is a more general want of family-prayers , too easie to be taken notice of , i have herein especially endeavoured to make provision for the performance of that part of your duty . there are i hope but few so negligent of their own welfare , as not to consider how natural and necessary it is for all reasonable creatures by prayer and thanksgiving to acknowledge god in al● their ways , and to give him the glory du● unto his name for all the benefits they receive from him , and to seek his blessing upon what ever they undertake , and daily to recommend themselves and all their concerns to his continued grace and good providence . there may be more who having helps put into their hands for this purpose , will not so much as find leasure to make use of them ; as if this would not indeed rather further then hinder their lawfull affairs ; or as if they could have any greater and weightier business then thus to seek the lord while he may be found , and call upon him while he is near ; or as if , when the most in a family will both find time and get together twice a day for set meals for their bodies , they should not much rather strive to do so , once at the least , for set and solemn prayer in order to their souls eternal happiness . if your estate be more plentifull you may spare the more time ; if your condition be meaner on earth , you have more need to seek by christ a treasure in heaven . say not therefore , you are to provide for wife and family , and so have no time to regard your soul by a solemn and serious performance of duties ; but remember that the same god who commands you to follow your particular callings as men , injoins you likewise to follow your general callings as christians , and that in the first place . seek first the kingdom of god , and the righteousness ousness thereof , and all other things shall be added unto you . and also with the greatest labour . s. john 6. 27. labour not ( i. e. not only ) for the food that perisheth , but ( chiefly ) for the food that endureth to everlasting life . should we pray to god every day in the week not once or twice but many times , for eternall blessedness , and continue to do so with greatest earnestness , while our life and breath is continued , if but once this petition at last be granted us , will it not be richly worth our pains , and fully requite all that we have done ? or having every work-day in the week 23 hours and an half to eat and drink and work and sleep in , is it any great matter to redeem half an hour or a quarter of an hours time , wherein to work out our salvation , to prepare our souls for death , judgement and eternity , to read some portion of gods word , and to praise him for the mercies we have received , and to pray unto him for such as we have need of ? if a mans house were in a flame he would not let it burn , and say , i have no time to quench it . if a neighbour call us to sit at our doors , to talk or dine with them we can find leasure for it . when therefore the blessed god calls upon us to be diligent this way among others to make our calling and election sure , should we foolishly say , that we have no time for this , though indeed one of the main works which we were sent into the world about ! oh let not such vain excuses keep us from our duty , lest the righteous god for our pretending now want of time to serve him in , be provoked at last to give us an eternity to suffer in . others , i fear , will be ready to make light of these helps because of their groundless prejudices against all book-prayers , not rightly understanding either their benefit or lawfulness , but i beseech you let it be well considered , how many christian duties and vertues we may be daily put in mind of by these prayers , which if we strive to follow with answerable practices , as we ought to do , and as we hereby beg of god to enable us to do ; surely this course must in all reason be allowed to have a very considerable influence into our more holy and circumspect walking . besides you know how natural it is to all mankind when they have any petitions or thanks to prefer but to an earthly king , to take good advice beforehand that they may be delivered in as decent and grave form of words , and as reverent a manner as may be ; certainly then christians in this respect should be much more carefull , if possible , how they present the desires of their hearts to the most high god , the eternal majesty of heaven and earth . but alas with many , such have been the licentious rambles of their fancy in suddain prayer , so bold and rude have their descriptions been of almighty god , so rash their sayings concerning him , or concerning themselves , and so many untrue or doubtfull things have they uttered ; that they have not only shamed that way of address to god , but dishonoured and hindered true christian devotion , which hath suffered extremely in the thoughts of many by such extravagance . and some , as experience hath shewn , finding that they could not pray in their families ex tempore or on the sudden as they have been urged , without many vain repetitions and broken impertinent expressions , have quite left off the duty it self . t is true some few may attain an habit of uttering their desires freely and becomingly upon any occasion ; yet the most , though well-minded people , are so defective both in their conceptions and utterance , that they greatly need the assistance which is here offered them , and ought by no means to be discouraged from performing thus safely and piously their known duty towards god ; especially considering , that when we pray for such things as are contained in the scriptures which are from the spirit of god ; and when by the same blessed spirit helping our infirmities , we are enabled to pray for those things fervently and sincerely , we do truly pray by the gift or assistance of the spirit , whether the prayer we use be written in a book , or imprinted in the memory , or suddenly uttered ; and such a prayer is acceptable unto god who looks not at the outward varied expressions of the tongue , but the inward holy affections of the heart . and so our saviour pray'd in or by the spirit , when he repeated the same requests at several times ; and so still do all plain and honest-hearted people , when they devoutly use that form of prayer which he hath taught us , or any other after that manner judiciously composed . the prayers , directions , and catechisms of the following book , i have for the most part collected out of several approved authours of great judgement , learning , piety , and christian experience , only fitting them with needfull alterations and additions for your easier use and benefit . and in the whole you have comprehended those things which make for your greater holiness here and happiness hereafter ; which are often more fully explained by the publick ministry of the word ; and which agree with the sense of the most and best christians in the truly catholick or universall church , beginning at jerusalem , and dispersed throughout the whole christian world. yet i doubt not but many deceivers and deceived who have cast off the ordinances of christ , and lately taken up a new religion of their own devising , building their altars of false worship besides the altar of the lord , these will be ready to revile me for my pains , to call me deceiver , as some did the apostles themselves , to prate maliciously against me , and to oppose and gainsay what i am doing , that they may hinder your being benefited thereby . but i beseech you , do you hold fast the form of sound words or christian doctrine which you have received in faith and love which is in christ jesus ; adhere to the spirit , ministry , and ordinances of christ ; keep in the communion of his saints and people ; and as you have the true religion , so be true unto your religion by living accordingly , and my soul for yours , by the grace of god , you shall not miscarry . be not offended at the bad lives of some , there will be tares among the good wheat 'till the harvest . be not offended at the errours and heresies of others , of your own selves ( says the apostle ) shall men arise speaking perverse things to draw away disciples after them . and again , there must be heresies among you , that they which be approved may be made manifest among you . there will be unstable and unlearned people who will boldly wrest the scriptures to their own destruction . but remember how god hath given pastours and teachers for the work of the ministry , &c. that we henceforth be no more children tossed to and fro , and carried about with every wind of doctrine , by the sleight of men and cunning craftiness , whereby they lie in wait to deceive . therefore be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines , for it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace . hold fast the profession of your faith without wavering . mark them that cause divisions and avoid them . let not your soul come into their secret out of curiosity , least when you forsake his ways , god justly forsake your understandings , and leave you to your selves , and so you be led by your corrupt natures , to close sooner with that which is evil then with that which is good . and if at any time you cannot fully answer such objections as cunning deceivers may make against any thing contained in this book , or in our holy religion , do not ( as some have done ) therefore presently turn to them without any more ado ; do not think that because you cannot answer them , that no body else can ; do not suffer your selves and your religion to be so soon , so sadly and shamefully parted ; but in the name of god i most humbly and most earnestly beseech you , take the pains to acquaint me with them , or with my consent and assistance to consult such faithfull and able ministers of christ , as will help you most clearly to see the weakness and falshood of those arguments which so much puzled you before . remember i beseech you , that this is the advice of one whom god by his gracious providence and holy spirit hath made your overseer and the guide of your souls ; of one who hath the same care for your salvation that he hath for his own ; who can as truly rejoyce to see the fruit of his labours in your holy walking ; as you can to reap a plentifull harvest after your labours , or to see your children do well according to your care and trouble about them . of one concerning whom with others christ hath said , he that heareth you heareth me , and he that despiseth you despiseth me . remember that this is the advice of one who is always near you , and is in some measure acquainted with your condition and is ever ready to direct and assist you as your necessities shall require . remember that this is the advice of one who is devoted to the work of the ministry and the service of your souls , and so may more reasonably then others that are not so set apart , expect , ( as it is his daily prayer ) to be led of god in the ways of truth and holiness that he may lead you in them to , and to be blessed of god that he may be made a comfort and a blessing unto you . remember further that this is the advice of one who having lived long among you , sincerely loves you , and hath no other design upon you , but by all good means to promote your happiness , and to prevent your utter undoing ; of one lastly , who is ready to spare neither cost nor pains for your real good , as in other things , so in helping you to practice what is contained in this book , which i intreat you to accept of and to use as a testimony of my unfeigned desires of your eternal welfare , recommending both it and you to the blessing and protection of almighty god , and ever remaining your servant for christs sake j. a. eph. 6. 18 , 19. praying always , with all prayer and supplication in the spirit , and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints . and for me , &c. s. mat. 26. 41. watch and pray , that ye enter not into temptation . jer. 10. 25. pour out thy fury upon the heathen that have not known thee , and upon the families that call not on thy name . s. mat. 6. 6. but thou when thou prayest , enter into thy closet , and when thou hast shut thy door , pray to thy father which is in secret , and thy father who seeth in secret , shall reward thee openly . 1 cor. 11. 26 , 27 , 28. for as often as ye eat this bread and drink this cup , ye do shew the lords death till he come . wherefore , whosoever shall eat this bread and drink this cup unworthily , shall be guilty of the body and blood of the lord. but let a man examine himself , and so let him eat of that bread and drink of that cup. s. luke 22. 19 , 20. and he took bread , and gave thanks , and brake it , and gave unto them , saying , this is my body which is given for you , this do in remembrance of me . likewise also the cup after supper , saying , this cup is the new testament in my blood , which is shed for you . we may sometime begin our closet prayers admiring with s. augustine gods glorious perfections . what art thou o my god ? what art thou i beseech thee , but the lord my god ? for who is lord besides our lord , or who is god besides our god ? o thou supreme , most powerfull , most mercifull , most just , most secret , most present , most beautifull , most incomprehensible ; most constant and yet changing all things ; immutable , never new , and never old , and yet renewing all things , ever in action , yet ever at rest , heaping up , yet needing nothing ; creating , upholding , filling , protecting , nourishing , and perfecting all things . thou lovest , and yet thou art not transported ; thou art angry , yet never art unquiet ; thou art jealous , yet void of fear ; thou dost repent , yet art thou free from sorrow ; thou requirest profit at our hands , yet who hath any thing but of thy gift ? thou payest debts when thou owest nothing ; thou forgivest debts and yet thou loosest nothing . and what shall i say , o my god , my life , my joy , my holy dear delight ? or what can any man say when he speaketh of thee ? and wo be to them that speak not of thee , but are silent in thy praise ; for even they who speak most of thee , may be accounted to be but dumb . have mercy upon me o lord , that i may speak unto thee , and praise thy name . amen . a prayer for all conditions of men. note that one alone may say , we , and our , and us , as usually in the lords prayer , because of the communion of saints . o god the creator and preserver of all mankind , we humbly beseech thee for all sorts and conditions of men , that thou wouldest be pleased to make thy ways known unto them , thy saving health unto all nations . more especially we pray for the good estate of the catholick church ; that it may be so guided and governed by thy good spirit , that all who profess and call themselves christians , may be led into the way of truth , and hold the faith in unity of spirit , in the bond of peace , and in righteousness of life . and we also commend unto thy fatherly goodness all those who are any ways afflicted or distressed in mind , body , or estate , that it may please thee to comfort and relieve them according to their severall necessities , giving them patience under their sufferings , and an happy issue out of all their afflictions , and this we beg for jesus christ his sake . amen . a prayer for the king and kingdom . and that in one blessing we may all of us be blest , i beseech thee , o thou who art the maker and saviour of all kings and nations of the earth , to bless our dread soveraign lord king charles with the richest blessings of thy grace . strengthen him with the faith of abraham , endue him with the mildness of moses , arm him with the magnanimity of joshua , exalt him with the humility of david , assist him with the counsel of hushai , beautifie him with the wisdom of solomon , and replenish him with the goodness and holiness of them all ; that so he may be a powerfull protector of his people , a religious defender of thy sacred faith , a bountifull comforter of thy holy church , a glorious triumpher over all his enemies , a gracious governour of all his subjects , and a happy father of children to rule this nation by succession in all ages . o let his reign be prosperous , and his days many ; let peace and plenty , love and piety , justice and truth , and all christian vertues flourish in his time . let his people serve him with honour and obedience ; and let him so love and serve thee here on earth , that he may hereafter everlastingly reign with thee in heaven through jesus christ our lord. here may be added the prayers or thanks-givings in the book of common prayer upon their severall occasions . sometimes also the creed may be repeated with that pithy ejaculation said before it , [ lord i believe help my unbelief ] and the ten commandments , with that short prayer after them , lord have mercy upon us , and write all these thy laws in our hearts we beseech thee . here also may be said the morning or evening collect respectively , on our own , and the behalf of those that belong to us . o lord our heavenly father , almighty and everlasting god , who hast safely brought us to the beginning of this day , defend us in the same with thy mighty power , and grant that this day we fall into no sin , neither run into any kind of danger , but that all our doings may be ordered by thy governance , to do alwaies that which is righteous in thy sight through jesus christ our lord. amen . lighten our darkness we beseech thee , o lord , and by thy great mercy defend us from all perils and dangers of this night for the love of thy son , our saviour jesus christ . amen . a general thanksgiving . o most gracious god , i give thee humble and hearty thanks for all thy goodness and loving kindness to me and to all men . i bless thee for my creation , preservation , and all the blessings of this life ; but above all for thine inestimable love in the redemption of the world by our lord jesus christ ; for the means of grace and for the hope of glory . and i beseech thee give me that due sense of all thy mercies , that my heart may be unfeignedly thankfull , and that i may set forth thy praise , not only with my lips , but in my life , by giving up my self to thy service , and by walking before thee in holiness and righteousness all my days , through jesus christ my lord ; to whom with thee and the holy ghost be all honour and glory , world without end . amen . a devout prayer which may be used at any time by one alone . grant me o gracious lord in what lawfull undertaking soever , a pure intention of heart , and a stedfast regard of thy glory ; let christ be my pattern , thy word my rule , and thy spirit my guide in all that i do . possess ( i beseech thee ) and ravish my mind continually with thy love , and let my delight always be to be embraced in the arms of thy protection . be thou , o holy god , light unto mine eyes , musick to mine ears , sweetness to my tast , and a full contentment to my heart . be thou my sunshine in the day , my food at the table , my repose in the night , my cloathing in nakedness , and my succour in all necessities . o lord jesus , i give thee my body , my soul , my substance , my fame , my friends , my liberty , and my life ; dispose of me and all that is mine , as it seemeth best to thee , and to the glory of thy blessed name . i am not now mine but thine , therefore claim me as thy right , and love me as thy child , and keep me as thy charge , and defend me against those that would deal injuriously with me . my lord my god , i beseech thee to give me patience in troubles , humility in comforts , constancy in temptation , and victory over all my ghostly enemies . grant me sorrow for my sins , thankfulness for thy benefits , fear of thy judgements , love of thy mercies , and mindfulness of thy presence for evermore . make me observant of my superiours , courteous to my inferiours , friendly to my equals , loving to my friends , and charitable to my enemies ; make me ready to pleasure all , and loth to offend any . give me chastness in my affections , modesty in my countenance , gravity in my behaviour , deliberation in my speech , holiness in my thoughts , and righteousness in all my ways . let thy mercy through christ cleanse me from the guilt of my transgressions , and let thy grace bring forth in me the fruits of everlasting life . lord let me be obedient without arguing , humble without feigning , patient without grudging , pure without corruption , merry without lightness , sad without mistrust , sober without dulness , true without doubleness , fearing thee without desperation , and trusting in thee without presumption . let me be joyfull for nothing but that which pleaseth thee , nor sorrowfull for any thing but that which doth displease thee . let my labour be my delight which is for thee , and let all rest weary me which is not in thee . give me an awaking spirit , and a diligent soul , that i may seek to know thy will ; and when i know it truly , may perform it faithfully to the honour and glory of thy ever blessed name ; for these and for all other needfull mercies , which thou , o god , wouldst have me to pray , or to praise thee , i continue to say , as christ our lord hath taught us . our father which art , &c. the blessing . let thy peace , o god , which passeth all understanding ; let the blessing of the holy undivided trinity , the father , son , and holy ghost ; let the vertue of christs blessed cross and passion be with me , and remain with me and mine , now , and at the hour of death , and to eternall ages . amen , amen . they that have more leasure may oftner use the foregoing devotions alone morning , or evening , or at any time of the day when they best can . such also may make use of this following morning prayer for a family on the week-days , as many as can well be spared being present . a family-prayer for the morning on work-days . o most holy and ever blessed lord god , we thine unworthy servants do here acknowledge , that as we were born in sin , so we have lived in iniquity , and broken thy righteous laws in thought , word , and deed , following too much the desires of our own will , and not caring as we ought to be governed by thy holy word and spirit ; but o gracious father , we beseech thee for the merits of thy dear son to forgive us all our sins , and not to inflict upon us those punishments which are due unto us for them . and do thou we pray thee sanctifie us throughout in body , soul , and spirit , and lead us in the ways of truth and holiness , and make us in every respect such as thou wouldest have us to be . and here , o lord , from the bottom of our hearts we praise thy name for all thy blessings bestowed upon us , concerning this or a better life ; particularly we praise thee for the mercies of the last night and this morning ; that thou hast preserved us from such dangers as might have fallen upon any of us ; and for our refreshment by moderate rest and sleep . oh that this day we may be kept from the evil of sin , and so , if it may be thy will , from the evil of punishment . enable us to watch over our thoughts , that good meditations only may enter into our minds , and holy desires and purposes into our hearts . help us to set a watch before our mouths , and to keep the door of our lips that we offend not with our tongues . help us also to watch over all our actions , that we may do hurt to none , but all the good we can to all , as we would have others deal with us , that in all we do thy word may be our rule , thy spirit our guide , our saviour our pattern , and thy glory our end . that we may be wise and modest in our carriage , temperate and sober in our diet , diligent and chearfull in our business ; that we may abide with thee in our particular places and callings by a conscientious performance of the duties thereof ; that we may undertake nothing upon which we may not desire thy blessing , and wherein we may not expect thy direction and assistance . that we may be crucified to the world , and the world unto us , by the cross of christ ; that we may be content with such things as we have , and not use any unlawfull means for our own relief , knowing thou hast promised , never to leave us nor forsake us . that we may so pass through the things of this life , that finally we loose not everlasting life and happiness in the enjoyment of thy self . and all we beg upon the account of christ , in whose name we continue to pray unto thee , saying , our father , &c. but because the busie countrey life usually on the week-days calls and disperses most in families early in the morning to their several works and imployments ; it is very needfull ( especially when morning family-prayers cannot be had conveniently ) that each one grown to years of understanding before they go out of their chambers , or before they begin their work , should kneel down by themselves , and in short beg gods blessing and presence with them the following day ; which they may do by the collect for the morning it is set down gotten by heart , saying after it the page the 6. the lords-prayer understandingly , devoutly , and deliberately . or this . prevent us , o lord , in all our doings by thy most gracious favour , and further us with thy continual help ; that in all our works begun , continued and ended in thee , we may glorifie thy holy name , and finally by thy mercy obtain everlasting life through jesus christ our lord. our father which art in heaven , &c. or in the morning on the week-days you may pray by your self thus . o most gracious god , and mercifull father , i thine unworthy servant do here acknowledge , that as i was born in sin , so i have lived in iniquity , and broken thy righteous laws in thought word and deed , following too much the desires of my own will , and not caring as i ought to be governed by thy holy word and spirit ; and am therefore liable to all shame and misery both in this life , and that which is to come . but o heavenly father , i beseech thee for the merits of thy dear son to forgive me all my sins , and not to inflict that punishment which is due unto me for them . and send thy holy spirit into my heart , which may assure me , that thou art my reconciled father , and that thou lovest me with an unchangeable love. and let the same thy good spirit lead me in the ways of truth and righteousness , and crucifie in me more and more all worldly and carnall lusts . * and here , o lord , from the bottom of my heart , i thank thee for all thy blessings bestowed upon my soul or body . * [ particularly for any measure of refreshment given unto me the night past , and that thou hast brought me safe to the light of another day . ] * o lord , i pray thee continue to be gracious unto me ; let thy fear be always before my eyes , and thy grace so rule in my heart , that whatever i shall think , speak , or do , may tend to thy glory , the good of others , and the peace of my own conscience . i now recommend my self , and all my concerns , together with all near relations and those that belong unto me , to thy mercifull direction and protection , intreating thee to keep us from all evil , and to give a blessing to all our honest and lawfull endeavours , and to make all thy providences towards us to work together for our good . * bless , o lord , the kings majesty and all the royal family , with all inferiour magistrates under him. bless the bishops and pastors of the church . comfort all that are sick and comfortless . and o lord , keep me in a continual readiness by faith and repentance for my last end , that whether i live or die , i may be thine , accepted of thee through christ jesus my only saviour , in whose prevailing name i sue for these and all other needfull graces and mercies , & continue to pray unto thee , as he himself hath taught me , saying , our father , &c. praying alone , unless removed out of the hearing of others , speak with a whispering rather then a loud voice , as hannah did 1 sam. 1. 13. she spake in her heart , onely her lips moved , but her voice was not heard . thus , not being heard of others , they cannot suspect you to affect any vain glory in what you do . yet you will find this way usefull both to stir up your affections , and to help your attention of mind , by keeping you from many wandring and distracting thoughts which you would otherwise be liable unto . note further , that when alone in secret you may sometimes makeless use of a set form of prayer , and take more freedom in opening your heart and particular condition unto god as he shall enable you . he knows , and will graciously answer your humble and sincere desires . greater heed is to be taken for method and expression when we pray with others that they may joyn with us to their edification . at evening on the week-days when the family is come together , at the fittest time before they go to their rest , let the governours themselves , or some child or servant whom they shall appoint , reading first some portion of scripture if they have time , distinctly and leasurely read one of the two following prayers . a family-prayer for the evening on the week-days . o lord , the creator of the world , and the redeemer of mankind , who knowest all things , and canst do what thou pleasest , and hast done us very much good already , and promised to do more for us , if we be obedient , then we can ask or think ; we here fall down before thee in the lowest manner , to express our fear and reverence to thy almighty power ; our admiration of and submission to thy unsearchable wisdom ; our hearty love , and thankfull acknowledgment of thy wondrous goodness ; our trust and confidence in thy faithfull promises ; with our ready and sincere purposes to perform all obedience to thy holy commands . there is nothing , o lord , so afflictive to us , as the remembrance that we have at any time offended thy sovereign authority . we are heartily sorry for the breaking any of thy righteous and good laws , and therefore beseech thee for the sake of christ to pardon the same unto us , and that we may abhor the thoughts of doing so again , ever resolving by thy assistance to deny all ungodliness and worldly lusts , and to live righteously , soberly , and godly in this present world ; and to strive to be like our saviour christ in meekness and lowliness of spirit , in purity and zeal for thy worship and glory , and in being ready as we have opportunity , to take the more pains that we may do the more good in the world. oh do thou , we pray thee , strengthen in us these resolutions which thou hast inspired us withall , and ever further them by thy continued grace , that no sudden desires , ineffectual purposes , or partial performances , may deceive or lead us into a false opinion of our selves ; but that we may bring forth actually , and with a constant spirit , all the fruits of righteousness which are by christ jesus , to the praise and glory of thee our god. o let us be so sensible of thy great kindness to us , & of our many engagements unto thee , that we may love thee our god and saviour with all our heart , soul , and strength ; that we may strive to credit our religion , and glorifie thy name all the ways we are able , with all that we are , have , or can do ; that not only by the special duties of thy worship , but also by the right management of our outward affairs , and our moderate use of the good things of this life , we may serve thee , and be brought nearer unto thee . thus we pray thee let religion be the very business of our lives , and let our greatest pleasure be to please thee in every thing , and our highest design to attain that blessed immortality which christ jesus hath promised . lift up our affections , we intreat thee , more and more to those things above where he is ; that heaven may have our hearts while this world hath our bodies ; and we may have perfect contentment of mind in well-doing , and patient suffering ; and the good hope we have of being eternally beloved of thee the lord of heaven and earth , may make us rejoyce evermore . free us , o lord , from all inordinate cares for the things of this life ; from all distrust of thy good providence ; from all repining at any thing that befalls us ; and enable us in every thing to give thanks ; believing that all things are ordered by the greatest wisdom , and shall work together for the good of those that love thee . we doubt not of thy fatherly affection to those that study in all sincerity to approve themselves unto thee ; and therefore still resolve to leave our selves entirely to thy wise counsels , that thou mayst dispose us into such a condition as thou seest best in this world. oh remember us but of our duty ; quicken and excite us to it ; strengthen us in the doing of it ; support us under all discouragements ; advise us in all difficult cases ; and comfort us with a stedfast belief of thy holy word ; and we shall ever be giving thanks and praise unto thee who dealest so bountifully with us . moreover with our selves we desire , o lord , the good of all mankind , especially that thou wouldest be mercifull to thy whole church , and particularly that thou wouldest bless that part of it which is planted in these nations wherein we live ; inclining the hearts of all ranks and degrees of men amongst us to follow after things which make for peace , unity , and godliness . but o gracious god , as we are in duty bound in a more peculiar manner , we do most earnestly beseech thee , on the behalf of this place of our abode , that our minister being directed and assisted by thee , may be made a blessing and a comfort unto us ; and that we likewise having our conversation as becomes the gospel of christ , may be a blessing and an encouragement unto him . give , we pray thee , repentance unto sinners , and increase of grace and strength to all thy faithfull servants ; reduce those among us that wander out of the way ; raise up those that are fallen ; confirm and settle those that stand , and grant them a stedfast resolution to persevere in faith , love , and obedience . relieve and comfort all those that are in any distress ; make the earth to bring forth her increase in due season ; and let all honest and industrious people be succeeded and blessed in their labours . remember all those who are nearly related to us , or to whom we are indebted for our birth , education , instruction , or promotion ; thou who art rich in mercy reward and recompence their care and love . grant forgiveness and charity to all our enemies ; continue good will among all our kind neighbours . assist those that are dying and leaving this world , and fit their souls for a better place ; and let us also with them after our own last sickness , in due time through christ , obtain a glorious resurrection and eternal life . and here , o lord , we do from our very souls render unto thee most humble and hearty thanks for all thy blessings and benefits bestowed upon us concerning this life and that which is to come ; but more especially we praise thee for the mercies of this day ; for any measure of success thou hast given us in our lawfull endeavours ; that thou hast defended us from such dangers as might have fallen upon us . we beseech thee likewise of thine infinite goodness and mercy , to defend and protect us and all that belong unto us this night ; and let us be refreshed with moderate rest and sleep , and so raised the next day more able and willing to set forth thy glory , in the conscionable duties of our places and callings . these and all other needfull mercies , we ask of thee for the alone merits of jesus christ , in whose name we continue to pray unto thee as he himself hath taught us , saying , our father , which art in heaven , hallowed be thy name , thy kingdom come , thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven , give us this day our daily bread , and forgive us our trespasses , as we forgive them that trespass against us , and lead us not into temptation , but deliver us from evil , for thine is the kingdom , and the power , and the glory for ever and ever . thy grace , o lord jesus christ , thy love o heavenly father , thy comfort and consolation o holy and blessed spirit be with us , and remain with us this night and for evermore , amen . another family-prayer for the evening on the week-days , saturday especially . o most blessed and eternall god , thou alone art the fountain of our happiness , and the rest and satisfaction of our souls . thou art infinitely more great and glorious in thy wisdom , power , and goodness , then either our words can declare , or our hearts can conceive . we therefore thine unworthy servants do here most humbly adore and worship thine incomprehensible majesty ; acknowledging that we were not only born in sin , but in the course of our lives have violated thy sacred laws , and many ways transgressed our duty as to thee , our neighbours , and our selves ; so that if thou shouldest deal with us according to the strictness of thy justice and our own deservings , we could expect nothing but shame and misery , both in this life and that which is to come . but , o god , we beseech thee do thou help us penitently and believingly to cast our selves upon thy mercy , and the merits of jesus christ ; and for his sake graciously forgive unto us the sinfulness of all our thoughts , words , and ways , and let thy spirit witness with ours the comfortable assurance of that forgiveness . and for the future , let us not be tempted by the allurements or discouragements of the world , wilfully to allow our selves in the omission of any the least known duty , or in the commission of any the least known sin. and because this is thy will even our sanctification , we beseech thee , o lord , that thou wouldest sanctifie our understandings , that being renewed in the spirit of our minds , we may have a spiritual discerning of the things of thee our god ; that we may know what it is that thou requirest of us , in those several places , conditions and relations thou art pleased to set us in . that thou wouldest likewise enable us to submit our wills to thy blessed will in all things ; and to make it our daily care and exercise to keep our consciences clear and unreproveable in thy sight . that thou wouldest help us to set our affections upon things above ; that we may love thee the lord our god with all our heart , and with all our soul , and with all our strength ; and that christ may be the chiefest of ten thousands unto us , him whom our soul loves . that we may present our bodies a living sacrifice , holy and acceptable unto thee , which is but our reasonable service . that so being sanctified throughout , we may be whatsoever thou wouldest have us to be ; that we may leave whatsoever thou wouldest have us to forsake ; that we may patiently suffer whatsoever thou layest upon us to endure ; that we may freely , cheerfully , and readily do whatsoever thy command obligeth us to do . and because thou requirest that we should grow in grace by all those means of grace and salvation which thou art pleased so plentifully to vouchsafe unto us , oh that thou wouldest help us to walk yet more holily in respect of thee our god then ever ; that we may be more fearfull of offending thee , and more solicitous to please thee then ever we have yet been ; being more wisely zealous and active for thy glory , and more reverent in the use of all things that relate unto thee . that thou wouldest give us an universal good will towards others in the world ; that we may love our neighbours as our selves , and love even our enemies for thy sake ; and be more carefull that we do hurt unto none , but deal justly and mercifully towards all , as we would that they should do unto us . that thou wouldest help us to perform more and better then ever those duties which we owe unto our selves ; that we may live yet more in the exercise of meekness , of humility , of temperance and contentedness of mind . thus , o lord , that thou wouldest help us to serve thee all our days in the uptightness of our hearts , improving all opportunities of doing and receiving good ; preparing for our great change from time to eternity ; and in every respect , by a constant watchfulness over all our thoughts , words , and actions , so behaving our selves , as those that know and stedfastly believe , that we have thee an everliving god to serve , that we have precious and immortal souls to save , that we have endless woes to avoid , and everlasting happiness to seek after . and , o god , with us , we beseech thee likewise to bless all those that desire or stand in need of our prayers ; and to communicate of thy grace and mercy according to their and our severall wants and necessities . oh do thou enlarge the church and kingdom of christ , weaken and destroy the power of sin , and antichrist ; be favourable in particular to these nations wherein we live , vouchsafing to us those mercies we stand in need of , and turning from us those judgements which our sins may cry for . bless our magistrates and ministers ; bless those that are near unto us by the bonds of nature , with all such as suffer sickness or any other affliction or misery . bless this place , and grant that real godliness , saving knowledge , peace , and truth , may flourish here more and more . accept of praise for all thy mercies hitherto vouchsafed unto us . continue , we pray thee , thy mercifull protection over us this night ; keep us from sin , and the dangers that a night may bring forth , let us be refreshed and raised the next day more able and willing to serve thee in the duties of it . these and all other needfull mercies we humbly beg for the sake of christ , continuing further to pray unto thee as he himself hath taught us , saying , our father which art in heaven , &c. concerning the lords-day . let it always be remembred before it comes , to prepare for it ; and when it is come , to keep it holy. it hath been honoured 1 by god the father , forming thereupon the elements of the world , 2 by god the son , rising from the dead , and appearing several times after his resurrection , 3 by god the holy ghost descending with his miraculous gifts and graces upon the apostles and others , 4 by the christian church making it the time of her solemn assemblies . let us not therefore profane any part of it , but be now as carefull for the welfare of our souls , as we are upon other days for our bodily sustenance . excepting such time as is for works of absolute necessity , which cannot be done the day before or the day following ; let us with chearfulness spend it wholly in hearing the word of god read and taught ; in private devotion and publick prayers , which are both for the morning and after-noon ; in acknowledgment of our offences to god , and amendment of the same ; in reconciling our selves charitably to our neighbours where displeasure hath been ; in often receiving the communion of the body and blood of christ ; in visiting of the poor and sick , and using all good and sober conversation . thus we shall please the will of god , and conscientiously obey our civil and ecclesiastical governours , who strictly enjoyn the same by their power derived from god. thus we shall have a more deep and lasting sense of god and religion imprest upon our hearts , and so live more holily the week following . besides prudent and good men have observed their outward worldly affairs most prospered that week , which they began with a diligent and religious observation of the lords-day . but however that is , most certainly , if we duly sanctifie this day of rest here , we shall celebrate an everlasting rest and sabbath hereafter . if now we sincerely and willingly joyn with the congregations of gods people , to worship him as we ought to do , we shall in due time joyn with the blessed company of saints and angels above to sing his praises for evermore . psal . 118. 24. this is the day which the lord hath made , we will rejoyce and be glad in it . v. 20. this is the gate of the lord , the righteous shall enter into it . psal . 122. 1. i was glad when they said unto me , let us go into the house of the lord. revel . 1. 10 , i was in the spirit on the lords-day . acts 20. 7. and upon the first day of the week , when the disciples came together to break bread , paul preached unto them . 1 cor. 16. 2. upon the first day of the week , let every one of you lay by him in store as god hath prospered him . a morning prayer for the lords-day which may be used by more together , or by one alone for the reason mentioned page . 4 praised be thy holy name , o god , for all thy favours and benefits bestowed upon us from time to time , concerning this , or a better life . blessed be thy goodness for the mercies of the last night , and this morning ; that thou hast brought us to the beginning of another christian sabbath . oh let not our former unfruitfulness hinder thy present blessing and assistance in what we have to do ; but do thou we pray thee in christ jesus pardon and mend us both at once . and help us now so to remember and esteem this thy day , as to lay aside all secular businesses and diversions , and to apply our selves to all those private and publick duties which concern the sanctification thereof ; not doint after our own ways , nor finding our own pleasures , nor speaking our own words ; but consecrating our own selves and services to thy more especial worship ; spending the whole day in works of religion , necessity and mercy . be graciously present with all those assemblies of thy saints which do on this day meet together for thy worship and service . more especially be pleased to direct and assist the minister to whose charge we belong ; that he may speak to the consciences and conditions of this people . and do thou remove from us all irreverence , distraction , dulness , prejudice , and unbelief in hearing of thy word , that having the same accompanied by the power of thy spirit , it may be effectual for the further enlightning of our minds , the quickening of our affections , the bettering of our hearts , and the amendment of our lives . and let us think we have done nothing in hearing , reading , praying , receiving , singing of psalms , confering , meditating , till in all we have glorified thee our creator , redeemer and sanctifier , till our souls be brought something nearer unto heaven , unto thy self ; and all we beg upon the account of christ , saying further as he hath taught us , our father , &c. a family prayer for the evening on the lords-day . oeternal god , and most gracious father , we thine unworthy servants do here cast down our selves at the footstool of thy grace , acknowledging that we were conceived in sin , and have actually in thought word and deed transgressed thy holy and righteous precepts ; so that if thou shouldest look upon us as in our selves , we could not expect any thing but thy wrath and our own condemnation . but , o holy father , for jesus christ thy dear sons sake , for the merits of his obedience and bloodshed , we beseech thee to have mercy upon us , pardoning to us all our sins , and freeing us from the shame and confusion which is due unto us for them . and we pray thee inspire thy holy spirit into our hearts , that by his illumination and effectual working , we may have the inward sight and feeling of our sins and natural corruptions , and not through custom be blinded or hardened in them . that we may more and more loath them , and be heartily grieved for them , endeavouring by the use of all good means to overcome , and to get out of them . oh let us feel the power of christs death killing sin in our mortal bodies , and the vertue of his resurrection raising up our souls unto newness of life ; that living in thy fear unto thy glory , we may die in thy favour , and in thine appointed time , attain unto the blessed resurrection of the just , unto eternal life . in the mean while , o lord , increase our faith in the sweet promises of the gospel , and our repentance from dead works ; the assurance of our hope ; and our love unto thy self , and thy children , especially those whom we shall see to stand in need of our help and comfort ; that so by the fruits of piety and a righteous life , we may be assured that thy holy spirit doth dwell in us , and that we are thy children by grace and adoption . and grant us , good father , the continuance of health , peace , maintenance , and all other outward things , so far forth , as thy divine wisdome shall think meet and necessary for us . and we beseech thee , o lord , to be mercifull likewise to thy whole church , and particularly to these kingdoms wherein we live , vouchsafing to us those mercies we stand in need of , and turning from us those judgements which our sins may cry for . preserve the kings majesty , bless all the royal family ; bless our magistrates and ministers , this place , those that are near unto us by kindred or neighbourhood ; be graciously present with all our christian brethren that suffer sickness or any other affliction or misery ; grant them patience to bear thy cross , and deliverance when , and which way it shall seem best unto thee . and o lord , let us not forget our last end , and those accounts which then we must render unto thee . in health and prosperity make us mindfull of sickness , and the evil day that is behind ; that these things may not overtake us as a snare , but that we may in good measure , like wise virgins , be found prepared for the coming of christ to call us by death unto judgement . and here , o lord , we do from our very souls , render unto thee most humble and hearty thanks , for all thy blessings bestowed upon us , concerning this life and that which is to come . we praise thee especially for christ the fountain and foundation of all thy mercies we ever yet received , or hope hereafter to receive from thee . in him we praise thee for the mercies thou hast this day bestowed upon us , or given us occasion to remember , whether concerning the creation of the world , or the redemption of mankind . we praise thee for thy holy word and sacraments , and seasons of grace yet vouchsafed unto us . we praise thee that by thy good providence we have been preserved and provided for to this very moment ; intreating thee likewise to continue thy mercifull protection over us this night . and , o lord , we beseech thee let those saving truths which have been delivered unto us , sink down into our hearts , and spring up in our conversations . let us keep up such holy purposes and heavenly affections as may have been wrought in any of us whilst attending upon thee . let our lives be in some measure answerable to the means we enjoy . let the fruit of this day appear in us the week following , and all the days of our lives following . henceforth let our resolution of pleasing thee , and doing good in our generation be more confirmed ; let the felicities of heaven be more esteemed ; let our desires of earthly things be more abated ; let the breathings of our souls after a fuller enjoyment of thy self be more enlarged ; let our sins , those of our holy things , be pardodoned , our persons and performances accepted , and our souls eternally saved ; and al upon the alone account of jesus christ , it whose prevailing name we continue to pray unto thee , saying , our father , &c. as for those who are furnished with bibles and the book of common prayer , i shall direct them if they desire it , how to use part of the morning and evening service according to the liturgy by themselves , or with their families . but because many pious divines are of opinion that the reverence due to the book of common prayer , is best preserved by imploying it only in the publick divine service ; or in private where there is one in holy orders to officiate : and because we should always strive to be present at the publick service of the church on any holy day , especially on the lords-day , and such festivals as are in remembrance of our saviour christ ; you have to the former here added one prayer more which you may use on any such festival in remembrance of our blessed saviour , that is to say , on the days of his incarnation , birth , circumcision , epiphanie , presenting in the temple , passion , resurrection , ascension , and mission of the holy ghost . a prayer upon any of the foresaid festivals in remembrance of our blessed lord and saviour . o most glorious god , the father of our lord jesus christ , the father of lights , from whom cometh every good and perfect gift ; it is our bounden duty and our great priviledge , constantly to acknowledge thee with joy and exaltation of spirit , in remembrance of thy infinite bounty to us , and to all the world. every day tells us how good thou art , and every one of thy creatures calls upon us to magnifie , love , and serve thee , who hast made so many of them to serve us . but this day gives us occasion to remember thy more special and extraordinary kindness to us the children of men , which calls for our highest praises to be joyned with those of the blessed company above , who are never weary of giving honour , glory , blessing , and thanks to thee our mercifull god and saviour . o how great was that love which an angel came to give notice of ! and which a multitude of an heavenly host celebrated with songs of praise , when thou sentest thy dear son in the likeness of sinfull flesh , and in the form of a servant , to minister to our necessities , to relieve our misery , and to be the way to everlasting life ! oh the riches of thy grace , that after mankind had forfeited all the rights of thy creatures , and had contemned and despitefully used many of thy messengers , thou wouldest in such mercy create us again unto good works ; and for that end appear thy self most gloriously among us in the person of jesus christ ! we thank thee , o lord , that thou hast assumed our nature unto such a nearness to thee , as we are not able to understand . we thank thee , for the glad tidings which jesus hath brought us from heaven , that thou wilt be reconciled unto us , and admit us again into thy favour : and that he hath observed the whole law , and fulfilled all righteousness ; and shewn us in our likeness , what thou wouldest have us to do , and to be . we thank thee for the redemption which he hath wrought for us by his blood and meritorious passion . we rejoyce in the victory which he hath gotten over hell and the grave by his resurrection from the dead ; and in his glorious triumph , when he ascended up on high , and led captivity captive ; and in his royal power wherewith he was invested , when he sat down on the right hand of the majesty on high ; and in those gifts which he received for men , even for the rebellious also , that the lord god might dwell among them . blessed be thy eternal goodness which hath made him a most mercifull and compassionate high priest , and given us so great assurance , that he is become the author of eternal salvation to all them that obey him . blessed be thy goodness , which hath sent the holy ghost , and continued to us a succession of pastours and teachers , to be the guides of our souls , and to minister to us those pledges of thy love which our saviour left us , in the communion of his body and blood. o god , that our hearts enflamed with ardent love to thee , who hast loved us in such a wonderfull manner , could ascend up to heaven in these devout meditations , and not come down again but with desires left in them still aspiring thitherwards ! oh touch our souls so powerfully with a sense of these things , that with an hearty zealous affection they may ever look towards thee , and our dear lord and saviour jesus christ . oh fix our eyes on him , as he was here on earth , that we may learn of him , his humble and meek obedience to thy commands ; and as he is now in heaven , that we may trust him for the performance of his precious promises , and patiently wait till he carry us also to that glorious place . since he appeared among us to destroy the works of the devil , and died to redeem us from all sin , and rose again that he might bless us in turning every one of us from our iniquities , and is made lord of all , that he may govern us by his laws , and reward or punish us according to our works ; preserve in our minds , we beseech thee , a constant and lively sense of this great end of his whole undertaking for us ; that he may see the fruit of the travell of his soul in us , and our whole life may be a serious study and endeavour to imitate him , by purifying our selves as he is pure . oh that thy fear and love may keep us from abusing any of the good things which thou hast allowed us for our bodily refreshment ; grant that we may receive them thankfully as from thy hand , and enjoy them moderately as in thy presence , with bowels of mercy to those who are in need , with a tast of better spiritual delights , and heavenly joyes , and with hunger and thirst after the fulness and perfection of those joyes , when our lord jesus shall come to shew us his glory , and entertain us with eternal satisfaction in his incomprehensible love. amen . here you may add the collect for the morning or evening respectively set down page 6. concluding always with the lords prayer . the following prayer for the sacrament may be used by one alone after a private prayer ; or by more after a family-prayer ; at convenient times before receiving . and as for those of us in this ( place ) or ( family ) who intend to receive the sacrament of christs body and blood , pardon , lord , we pray thee our former not hungering and thirsting after it , our not preparing for it , not partaking of it so often as our necessities and opportunities have required . enable us now , we earnestly beseech thee , being duly prepared , to come as worthy and welcome guests unto thy table . give us a lively sight and sense of our sins and imperfections , of our wants and weaknesses , that we may hunger and thirst after christ and his righteousness , expecting from his fulness to be supplied in whatsoever our souls may stand in need of . let us be enabled rightly to discern the lords body , and feelingly to understand the relation between the signs , and things signified , applying both unto our selves in their proper use . to this end , enlighten our minds more and more with the knowledge of jesus christ , and of his gospel ; especially of the great work of our redemption by his blood , and his unspeakable love shining forth therein ; as also of the covenant of grace , and seals annexed thereunto . work in us an unfeigned repentance , bewailing our sins past , and resolving to leave them for the time to come , and to serve thee in righteousness and holiness all the days of our life . endue us also with a true and lively faith , that we may not only receive the outward elements of bread and wine ; but inwardly partake of the spiritual blessings and benefits of our saviours death ; that so we may be assured of the forgiveness of all our forepast sins , and be better enabled to withstand temptations for the time to come , that thereby our souls may be enriched with all saving graces , strengthened unto all good duties , and nourished unto everlasting life . inflame our hearts with most fervent love towards thee , and our neighbours ; yea , even our enemies , for thy sake ; and link our hearts together in an holy communion , as it becometh the true members of jesus christ . and being thus in some measure prepared , let us yet look up to thee , to pardon our unpreparedness ; let us still continue our dependance upon christ for his assistance , as knowing that we are not sufficient of our selves , so much as to think any thing , but our sufficiency is of god. and when we come to thy table , let us not coldly and formally perform this high and holy service ; but with the exercise of faith , love , repentance , reverence , with the renewal of our purposes of better obedience , with inward fervency and devotion , in some such manner as may be pleasing unto thee , honourable unto christ , and comfortable to our selves . let us so shew forth the precious death of our dearest redeemer , that in remembring the same , we may be unfeignedly thankfull , and sincerely praise thee the blessed trinity in unity , unto whom be ascribed and given all honour and obedience now and for ever . amen . another prayer which may be used in secret some time before the sacrament . o eternal and blessed god , i prostrate my self with humble reverence before thee the searcher of hearts , not to excuse but aggravate my faults ; for i confess i have not given thee that honour , worship , and service which i owe to my almighty creator . nor laid to heart , as i ought , thine infinite love in christ my redeemer : nor duly followed the godly motions of thy holy spirit , which thou hast sent to renew and sanctifie my affections , and draw me to thine obedience . i have not lived up to the faith which i profess , but behaved my self too often as if i neither dreaded the threatned punishments , nor duly valued the promised glorious rewards of my lord christ , who will judge the world in righteousness , and render to every one according to their works . o lord , i have done so much evil , and so little good ; been so eager in the pursuit of the things of this world , and so cold and unconcerned many times about those of eternity ; so unmindfull of my promises , unthankfull for thy benefits , and unfruitfull in the knowledge of christ , that it is a wonder of thy patience and goodness , that i am still alive , and not cut down like a barren tree that cumbers the ground ; that i am not lamenting these follies in weeping and gnashing of teeth , which i now mention with so little sorrow and bitterness of spirit . for ever adored be thy forbearing mercy , which hath so long spared me an unprofitable servant , who have so many ways in thought , word , and deed , offended thy divine majesty . * oh continue i beseech thee to be gracious unto me , and for jesus his sake give me a truly penitent and believing heart ; and by the vertue of that sacrifice of himself , which he offered once for the sins of the world , let all my sins be done away and remembred no more . and for this and all other thy great mercies , i resolve to offer unto thee by christ , the sacrifice of continual praise and thanksgiving , and i present my body a living sacrifice , holy , acceptable unto thee , which is my reasonable service ; and i dedicate my self absolutely to thy obedience ; oh therefore give me grace ever to fear thee , and to walk humbly with thee , and to preserve a tender sense of my duty towards thee . o lord , i purpose by thy assistance , that hereafter i will never willingly depart from thy precepts ; oh do thou strengthen me to perform what i have purposed ; that i may never be so unreasonable as to return to those sins which are the burden of my heart ; and grieve thy holy spirit ; which rent the flesh , and shed the blood of the lord jesus ; and which i have so often , and so solemnly protested against . and now that i am going to thy holy table to commemorate the sacrifice of my saviour , to remember his love in dying for me ; to give thee further testimonies of my love to thee ; and receive new tokens of thy love to me : o lord , vouchsafe to make thy self powerfully present to my mind . represent thy self , and thy son jesus so lively to my thoughts in all wisdom , power , goodness , holiness , and truth ; that i may never forget thee any more ; but more seriously reverence thee , and love thee , and rejoyce in thee , and trust thee , and obey thee , all the days of my life . imprint the very image of thy son upon me ; that i may carry him ever in my heart , and have his life and death continually before mine eyes ; and in all things conform my self to his will , and fashion my self after his holy example . come , lord jesus , and possess thy self of my whole man. purifie me from all remaining filthiness either of the flesh or spirit . bring in all thy heavenly graces along with thee into my soul. and be my perpetual defence , by giving me a fuller communication of thy holy spirit , and more mighty aides to do my duty towards thee , and towards all men. and for that end , compose my unsetled thoughts before i approach to receive the holy mysteries ; that i may attend thee with a full and clear conception of their meaning ; with an actual belief of thy whole gospel ; with most sensible love to thee , and desire to be more like thee ; with thy high praises in my mouth , and joy unspeakable in my heart . may i presume most gracious father , to ask such tasts and relishes of thy wondrous love in christ jesus , that i may never be able to delight in any thing so much , as in the remembrance of it . but mine eyes may be ever towards the lord ; and i may hunger and thirst perpetually after thy righteousness , 'till i am rendred meet to be translated to that high and holy place , where i shall see thee , not as now in mysterious representations ; but openly and as it were face to face . amen . lord jesus ; who art able to save to the uttermost all them that come to god by thee ; in thy most blessed name and words i continue my humble prayers , our father , &c. i would intreat those who have never yet received , or but seldom , to read at their leasure , and with good deliberation , the doctrine of the sacrament in the church catechism : as also the whole order of the administration thereof set down in the book of common prayer ; by which , together with what is contained in the two foregoing prayers , may be learnt , in good measure , what is needfull both in our preparing for , and partaking of that holy ordinance . and yet to further your more profitable and comfortable receivimg , you may use these following helps . some brief helps to meditation in receiving the sacrament of the lords-supper . first , when the sermon is ended , and thou art adressing thy self to the banquet of the lords supper , meditate how lovingly thou art invited to be a guest at this holy table . hoe , every one that thirsteth , come ye to the waters ; come , buy wine and milk without money , and without price : eat ye that which is good , and let your soul delight it self in fatness . take , eat , this is my body which is broken for you ; drink ye all of this ; for this is my blood which was shed for the remission of sins . secondly , as abraham when he went up to the mount to sacrifice isaac his son , left his servants beneath in the valley : so when thou comest to the spiritual commemorative sacrifice of the lords-supper , lay aside all earthly thoughts and cogitations , that thou mayest wholly contemplate of christ , and offer up thy soul to him , who sacrificed both his soul and body for thee . thirdly , set thy self as in the presence of god , with awfull and reverent thoughts of thy crucified lord. if the blessed apostle s. peter , seeing but a glimpse of christs almighty power , thought himself unworthy to stand in the same boat with him ? how unworthy art thou to sit with christ at the same table , where thou mayest behold so much of his infinite grace and mercy displayed ? yet if thou comest humbly , in faith , repentance and charity , abhorring thy sins past , and purposing unfeignedly to amend thy life henceforth , let not thy former sins affright thee , for they shall never be laid to thy charge ; and this sacrament shall seal to thy soul , that all thy sins are fully pardoned , and clean washed away by the blood of christ . for this sacrament was not ordained for them who are perfect ; but to help penitent sinners towards perfection . christ came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance . and he saith , that the whole need not the physician , but they that are sick . bathe thou therefore thy soul in this fountain of christs blood ; and doubtless , according to the promise , zech. 13. 1. thou shalt be healed of all thy sins and uncleannesses . not sinners , but they who are unwilling to repent of their sins , are debarred this holy ordinance . fourthly , when the minister begins to read the sentences of scripture before the offertory , let them be considered by thee to stirr up thy charity to the poor . let gods bounty to thee in spirituals , provoke thy mercy to others in temporals . hoping to be refreshed with the saving benefits of christs death ; be willing to thy power to refresh the bowels of his poor members : what we do to them , we do to christ ; and who would not thus relieve christ , who made himself poor to make us rich in the best things ? and now the sacrament being begun to be administred , apply thy self with diligent attention , and fervent devotion to go along with the minister in all actions , rites , prayers , confessions , readings , exhortations , or thanksgivings , which are used in , and about the holy sacrament . when therefore thou seest the minister putting apart bread and wine on the lords table , and consecrating them by prayers , and rehearsal of the words of christs institution , to be an holy sacrament of the blessed body and blood of christ ; then meditate , how god the father , of his meer love to mankind , did set apart and seal his only begotten son , to be the all-sufficient means , and only mediator to redeem us from sin , and to reconcile us to himself , and to bring us to glory . when thou seest him break the bread ; meditate how jesus christ was put to death as to his humane nature ; and his blessed body wounded and pierced , and both soul and body , as we may say , broken asunder for our sins ; and withall , call to mind the hainousness of them , and the greatness of gods hatred against them , seeing his justice could not be satisfied but by such a sacrifice . when he is drawing towards thee with the consecrated bread , and offering it unto thee , then meditate , that christ himself cometh unto thee , and both offereth , and giveth indeed unto thy faith , himself , and all the merits of his death and passion , to feed thy soul unto eternal life . the bread of the lord is given by the minister ; but the bread which is the lord is given by christ himself . ejaculations and meditations which we may use while the minister is giving the bread and wine to others . 1. o holy jesus , i behold thee stretched upon the cross , with thy arms spread , ready to embrace and receive all mankind into thy bosom . 2. i see the symbols , the holy bread , and the blessed cup , but i also think of thy authority ordaining these rites ; of thy voice blessing these symbols , of thy mercy reaching out my pardon , thy holy spirit sanctifying my spirit , thy blessed self making intercession for me at the eternall altar in heaven . 3. thy infinite arms of mercy are reached unto us , and our arm of faith reacheth unto thee : blessed be jesus who will be joyned unto servants . 4. i am helped by these outward signs , blessed saviour , to remember thy body and thy blood ; but by these i do not feel thy wounds . my lord had the smart , but we the ease ; his were the sufferings , but ours the mercy ; and after he had paid the price , we got the purchase . oh that my heart therefore by love and desire might reach out after him , and by joy and delight ever rest in him ! 5. i desire to know nothing , but jesus and him crucified . o let the power of thy cross prevail against all the powers of darkness . let the peace of thy cross give me peace with god , and in my own conscience : let the victory of thy cross mortifie all my evil and corrupt affections . let the triumph of thy cross lead me on to a state of holiness . and let the wisdom of thy cross make me wise unto salvation . 6. thou wilt not dwell in a polluted house ; make my soul clean , and do thou consecrate it into a temple , o theu great bishop of our souls , by the indwelling of thy holy spirit : and let the members of christ never become the instruments of unrighteousness . 7. o god my god , assist me now and ever greatly , and graciously : grant that i may not receive bread onely , nor wine onely , for man cannot live by that ; but that i may eat christ , not by papal transubstantiation , but by sacramental participation . 8. i am nothing , i have nothing , i desire nothing , but jesus my saviour ; make haste , o lord , behold my heart is ready , thou hast opened my heart to receive thee into the seat of love ; come lord jesus , come quickly . as thou eatest the bread , thankfully praise god for the saving benefits of christs death . and further think with thy self , as verily as i now cat this bread , so verily was christs body broken for the sins of the world ; and if i sincerely believe in him , as i now desire to do ( unfeignedly devoting my self unto him , relying upon gods mercy in and through him , being willing to be guided by his word , and sanctified by his spirit ) so verily are my sins pardoned for the merits of his precious death . here before the cup be brought to thee thou mayest use one or more of the foregoing ejaculations . thou mayest also have time to bless god for the death of christ ; to meditate upon his sufferings ; to admire the greatness of his love in dying for thee , resolving to take the cup of salvation , and to pledge his love with love ; to renew thy covenants with god , to reinforce thy purposes of better obedience ; to beg of god strength to performe such duties as thou hast formerly neglected , against such sins and temptations as have too easily prevailed against thee ; to pray also for all patience under such troubles and afflictions as may befall thee before another sacrament day come about . having received the cup at the ministers hand , in the instant of drinking , and as soon after it as may be , meditate on christs hanging and bleeding upon the cross ; giving him hearly thanks for his love in dying for us . and having poured the sacramental wine into thy stomach , say with thy self , as verily as i have received this wine , so certainly christs blood was shed for the sins of the world ; and if i sincerely believe in him , as i now desire to do , ( unfeignedly devoting my self unto him , relying upon gods mercies and his merits , and being willing to be guided by his laws and sanctified by his spirit ; and resolving to continue in his love and service to the end ) so certainly are my sins forgiven , by the vertue of his obedience and bloodshed . and now having received the sacrament of christs blessed body and blood , out of a conscientious respect to his command , with a desire thankfully to remember his precious death : consider , that he who hath given thee his son , will with him give thee all things else ; so far as will be for thy true good. therefore now , thou mayest here further represent unto god through christ , all thy needs , and the needs of thy relations , signifie to him the condition of thy soul ; complain of thy infirmities ; pray for help against the enemies of thy salvation , tell him of thy griefs , represent thy fears , thy hopes , and thy desires ; look up to god to make the blood of christ unto thee , a quickening , comforting , strengthening , justifying , sanctifying blood. and as thou feelest the sacramental wine which thou hast drunk , warming thy cold stomach ; so endeavour to feel the holy ghost cherishing thy soul with the joyfull assurance of thy being reconciled to god , and accepted unto eternal life . furthermore , because it is said 1 cor. 16. 17. the cup of blessing which we bless , is it not the communion of the blood of christ ? the bread which we break , is it not the communion of the body of christ ? for we being many , are one bread , and one body ; for we are all partakers of that one bread. it must be remembred by thee , that though all the faithfull are many ; yet they are all but one mystical body , whereof christ is head. and therefore thou must love every christian , especially those receiving with thee , as thy self , and a member of that body . when the minister hath given the bread and wine to all the communicants be ready to joyn with him again in the remaining prayers and praises . and after you have given thanks , and finished your private , and publick devotions ; go home , but do not presently forget what you have been doing in this solemn ordinance . they that as soon as the office is performed , part with christ , and carry their mind away presently to worldly interests , or to sensual merriments , these may be suspected to be too indifferent as to the things of god. they have ( as one says ) brought their lord into the house , and themselves slip out at the back-door . otherwise doth the spouse entertain her beloved lord. cant. 3. 4. i found him whom my soul loveth , i held him , and would not let him go . spend therefore the remaining part of the day , partly in the entertainment of thy lord , with acts of love and delight , with thanks and praise unto him for his favours ; partly in after-examination , in reflecting upon thy behaviour when thou wert before the lord ; and partly in strengthening of thy purposes , and confirming thy resolutions of better obedience , that so there may be some fruit seen of this day , in many other days that follow , till the solemnity shall return again . remember thy promises renewed unto god , bind thee to watch against sin , and unto holiness all thy life , as much as upon the sacrament day . moses coming from the mount where he had been conversing with god , his face did shine , exod. 34. 30. when thou goest from the table where thou hast had sweet communion with thy god , the face of thy conversation must shine so with holiness , that others may take notice of it . it is said of the high priest and elders , that observing the language and carriage of the apostles peter and john , they marvelled , and took knowledge of them that they had been with jesus , acts 4. 13. so thy words should be so gracious , and thy works so exemplary after a sacrament , that all those who behold thee , may take knowledge , that thou hast been with jesus ; that at his table thou didst sup with christ , and christ with thee . a prayer after the sacrament . bless the lord , o my soul ; and all that is within me , bless his holy name . bless the lord , o my soul : and forget not all his benefits . who forgiveth all thine iniquities , and satisfieth thy soul with good things . who redeemeth thy life from destruction ; who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies . o mercifull lord , i humbly thank thee for christ the fountain and foundation of all thy mercies vouchsafed unto me from day to day . o gracious redeemer i yield thee all possible thanks , that thou hast this day refreshed my soul with the sacrament of thy precious body and blood. seeing o god , that thou hast so loved me as to give thy son , and that thou , o saviour , hast so loved me , as to give thy self to die for me ; help me , i pray thee to pledge thy love with love , henceforth hating and forbearing what thou forbiddest , loving and practising what thou commandest . oh that my prevailing love to thee may quench and kill in me all inordinate love of the world and the vanities thereof . oh that walking in the strength of that heavenly food which i have now received , i may overcome the difficulties of this life , and perform better the duties of my place and calling , and withstand more constantly the temptations which i am most liable unto . o god , seeing thou hast not withholden thy only son , how shalt thou not with him , as i humbly desire , freely give all needfull blessings to me , and all that i am especially bound to pray for . * and whereas i have this day renewed my covenant with thee , and my purposes of better obedience ; strengthen me , i beseech thee , that i may pay the vows which i have made , and do as i have purposed . oh that whatever is in me vicious , and contrary to thy holy will , may by vertue of this sacrament be rooted out of me , so that my heart may become thereby a fit habitation for thy spirit . let it be to me a seal of the pardon of my sins , the confirmation of my faith , the provision of my pilgrimage , and the joy of my soul , let it be my peace and support in the time of affliction , and my comfort and strength in the day of my dissolution . let me hereafter walk more evenly and closely with thee , in the performance of my duty , with a contented mind , whatever trials or troubles befal me before another sacrament come about . grant that i may still hunger and thirst after this bread of life and cup of salvation , and that i may with a pure mind and chaste affection receive it often , so as to grow in grace and godliness , and be preserved in body and soul to everlasting life through jesus christ , in whose name and words i further continue to pray unto thee . our father , &c. an expedient to further peoples often and orderly receiving the holy communion in the parish of cartmel . in the order for the administration of the holy communion , we have , among others , this rule both pious and reasonable , viz. that every parishioner ( that is , all above sixteen years old ) shall communicate , or receive the sacrament at least three times in the year , of which easter is to be one ; for the better observation whereof , let it be remembred . 1. that by gods assistance , if no great inconvenience hinder it , there will be a sacrament at the church upon the first lords days of ( december , april , august , ) especially for the inhabitants of stavely division , or the west of broughton , and part of allithwait , that is , the inhabitants of stavely , farigge , hasslerigge , field-end , over-carke , wood-broughton , ainsome , and part of the church-town to headless-cross , or of any other place in that part of the parish . and that the sunday before each of these three sacrament-days , there will be a sermon at stavely chappel in the after noon . 2. that there will likewise be a sacrament upon the first lords days of ( january , may , september ) especially for the inhabitants of cartmelfell , or the east of broughton division , that is to say , the inhabitants of cartmel-fell , ayside , the greaves , barbar-green , field-broughton , hampsfield , and the grange , or of any other place in that part of the parish . and that the sunday before each of these three sacrament days , there will be a sermon at cartmelfell-chappel in the after noon . 3. that there will be a sacrament on the three first lords-days of ( february , june , october ) especially for the inhabitants of allithwait division , that is to say , the inhabitants of birkby , allithwait , templand , kentsbank , kirket end , lindal , and both the newtons , or of any other place in that part of the parish . and that the sunday before each of these three sacrament days , there will be a sermon at lindal-chappel in the after-noon . 4. that there will be a sacrament on the first lords days of ( november , march , july , ) especially for the inhabitants of holker or walton division , that is to say , the inhabitants of browedge , backbarrow , speel-bank , origge , beckside , burnses , walton , part of the church-town , holker , carke , flookborough , or any other place in that division . and that the sunday before each of these three sacrament days , there will be a sermon at flookborough-chappel in the after-noon . concerning catechising . that we may believe and live as we ought to do , and that the lords table may be furnished with more knowing and worthy communicants ; parents , family-governours , and teachers of publick or private schools are intreated , as the laws of god and the constitutions of the church require , to be carefull to instruct those under their tuition and charge ; and particularly in the church catechism , that they may be able to give an account of the same when thereunto called . the church catechism . question . what is your name ? answer . n. or m. quest . who gave you this name ? ans . my godfathers and godmothers in my baptism , wherein i was made a member of christ , the child of god , and an inheritour of the kingdom of heaven . quest . what did your godfathers and godmothers then for you ? ans . they did promise and vow three things in my name . first , that i should renounce the devil and all his works , the pomps and vanity of this wicked world , and all the sinfull lusts of the flesh . secondly , that i should believe all the articles of the christian faith. and thirdly , that i should keep gods holy will and commandments , and walk in the same all the days of my life . quest . dost thou not think that thou art bound to believe , and to do , as they have promised for thee ? ans . yes verily ; and by gods help so i will : and i heartily thank our heavenly father , that he hath called me to this state of salvation , through jesus christ our saviour . and i pray unto god to give me his grace , that i may continue in the same unto my lives end . cat. rehearse the articles of thy belief . ans . i believe in god the father almighty , maker of heaven and earth ; and in jesus christ his onely son our lord , who was conceived by the holy ghost , born of the virgin mary , suffered under pontius pilate , was crucified , dead and buried , he descended into hell , the third day he rose again from the dead . he ascended into heaven , and sitteth at the right hand of god the father almighty : from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead . i believe in the holy ghost , the holy catholick church , the communion of saints , the forgiveness of sins , the resurrection of the body , and the life everlasting . amen . quest . what dost thou chiefly learn in these articles of thy belief ? ans . first , i learn to believe in god the father , who hath made me , and all the world . secondly , in god the son , who hath redeemed me , and all mankind . thirdly , in god the holy ghost , who sanctifieth me , and all the elect people of god. quest . you said that your godfathers and godmothers did promise for you , that you should keep gods commandments . tell me now how many there be ? ans . ten. quest . which be they ? ans . the same which god spake in the twentieth chapter of exodus , saying , i am the lord thy god , who brought thee out of the land of egypt , out of the house of bondage . i. thou shalt have none other gods , but me. ii. thou shalt not make to thy self any graven image , nor the likeness of any thing that is in heaven above , or in the earth beneath , or in the water under the earth . thou shalt not bow down to them nor worship them . for i the lord thy god am a jealous god , and visit the sins of the fathers upon the children , unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me , and shew mercy unto thousands in them that love me and keep my commandments . iii. thou shalt not take the name of the lord thy god in vain , for the lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain . iv. remember that thou keep holy the sabbath day . six days shalt thou labour , and do all that thou hast to do : but the seventh day is the sabbath of the lord thy god. in it thou shalt do no manner of work , thou , and thy son , and thy daughter , thy man-servant , and thy maid-servant , thy cattel , and the stranger that is within thy gates . for in six days the lord made heaven and earth , the sea , and all that in them is , and rested the seventh day : wherefore the lord blessed the seventh day and hallowed it . v. honour thy father and thy mother , that thy days may be long in the land which the lord thy god giveth thee . vi. thou shalt do no murder . vii . thou shalt not commit adultery . viii . thou shalt not steal . ix . thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour . x. thou shalt not covet thy neighbours house , thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife , nor his servant , nor his maid , nor his ox , nor his ass , nor any thing that is his . quest . what dost thou chiefly learn by these commandments ? ans . i learn two things ; my duty towards god , and my duty towards my neighbour . quest . what is thy duty towards god ? ans . my duty towards god , is to believe in him , to fear him , and love him with all my heart , with all my mind , with all my soul , and with all my strength ; to worship him , to give him thanks , to put my whole trust in him , to call upon him , to honour his holy name and his word ; and to serve him truly all the days of my life . quest . what is thy duty towards thy neighbour ? ans . my duty towards my neighbour , is to love him as my self , and to do to all men as i would they should do to me . to love , honour , and succour my father and mother . to honour and obey the king and all that are put in authority under him . to submit my self to all my governours , teachers , spiritual pastours and masters . to order my self lowly and reverently to all my betters . to hurt no body by word , or deed . to be true and just in all my dealings . to bear no malice nor hatred in my heart . to keep my hands from picking and stealing , and my tongue from evil speaking , lying and slandering . to keep my body in temperance , soberness , and chastity . not to covet nor desire other mens goods ; but to learn and labour truly to get mine own living , and to do my duty in that state of life , unto which it shall please god to call me . cat. my good child , know this , that thou art not able to do these things of thy self , nor to walk in the commandments of god , and to serve him , without his special grace , which thou must learn at all times to call for by diligent prayer . let me hear therefore if thou canst say the lords prayer . ans . our father which art in heaven , hallowed be thy name . thy kingdome come . thy will be done in earth , as it is in heaven . give us this day our daily bread. and forgive us our trespasses , as we forgive them that trespass against us . and lead us not into temptation : but deliver us from evil . amen . quest . what desirest thou of god in this prayer ? ans . i desire my lord god our heavenly father , who is the giver of all goodness , to send his grace unto me , and to all people , that we may worship him , serve him , and obey him as we ought to do . and i pray unto god , that he will send us all things that be needfull both for our souls and bodies ; and that he will be mercifull unto us , and forgive us our sins ; and that it will please him to save and defend us in all dangers ghostly and bodily ; and that he will keep us from all sin and wickedness , and from our ghostly enemy , and from everlasting death . and this i trust he will do of his mercy and goodness , through our lord jesus christ . and therefore i say , amen . so be it . quest . how many sacraments hath christ ordained in his church ? ans . two only , as generally necessary to salvation , that is to say , baptism , and the supper of the lord. quest . what meanest thou by this word sacrament ? ans . i mean an outward visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace , given unto us , ordained by christ himself , as a means whereby we receive the same , and a pledge to assure us thereof . quest . how many parts are there in a sacrament ? ans . two : the outward visible sign , and the inward spiritual grace . quest . what is the outward visible sign , or form in baptism ? ans . water : wherein the person is baptized , in the name of the father , and of the son , and of the holy ghost . quest . what is the inward and spiritual grace ? ans . a death unto sin , and a new birth unto righteousness : for being by nature born in sin , and the children of wrath , we are hereby made the children of grace . quest . what is required of persons to be baptized ? ans . repentance , whereby they forsake sin ; and faith , whereby they stedfastly believe the promises of god , made to them in that sacrament . quest . why then are infants baptized , when by reason of their tender age they cannot perform them ? ans . because they promise them both by their sureties : which promise , when they come to age , themselves are bound to perform . quest . why was the sacrament of the lords-supper ordained ? ans . for the continual remembrance of the sacrifice of the death of christ , and of the benefits which we receive thereby . quest . what is the outward part or sign of the lords-supper ? ans . bread and wine , which the lord hath commanded to be received . quest . what is the inward part , or thing signified ? ans . the body and blood of christ , which are indeed taken and received by the faithfull in the lords supper . quest . what are the benefits whereof we are partakers thereby ? ans . the strengthning and refreshing of our souls by the body and blood of christ , as our bodies are by the bread and wine . quest . what is required of them who come to the lords supper ? ans . to examine themselves , whether they repent them truly of their former sins , stedfastly purposing to lead a new life ; have a lively faith in gods mercy through christ , with a thankfull remembrance of his death ; and be in charity with all men . when the sacrament comes every fourth moneth to be administred for any of the divisions above mentioned * , the respective church and chappel-wardens thereof are desired to give timely notice unto a fitting number of servants and children within the same , to be catechised on the sacrament day for the said division , or on some other day of that moneth . thus the care of this needfull exercise will be more equally shared among them , and the duty it self more constantly performed . and the better to observe an order in thus calling the youth to catechizing in the said divisions , it may be convenient to begin in the higher end of each of them , and so to go by house-rows as much as may be through the whole , taking a convenient number of families at a time . concerning personal instruction . the like course , so far as it shall be found convenient , may be used concerning personal instruction , whereby , as the younger sort in several families , come to the church to be catechized ; so the elder people in the same , or the like number of families , may come to the ministers house , or he go to theirs , to discourse with him in a plain familiar way , of the most necessary gospel truths , and christian duties , which most nearly concern gods honour and worship and our eternal salvation . to this purpose we may improve the church catechism , or the following profession of faith , and catechism consisting but of 12 questions and answers ; endeavouring fully to understand , and to practice the things therein cantained , though the very words be not by each one so fully remembred . inhabitants that are most knowing , grave and vertuous , should be forward thus to entertain holy christian conference with their ministers about such weighty and excellent things , because in this respect by their godly examples they may do very much good in drawing on others who need it . for by this means , truth may often be defended , errour avoided , sin and wickedness hindred , piety and goodness promoted and encouraged ; thus peoples mistakes may be rectified , their doubts removed , and that hurtfull strangeness that is too often between them and their ministers taken away . moreover , thus the weak and ignorant may be better informed , the careless and secure awakened and converted , the wavering confirmed and settled , and the publick ministry of the word and sacraments , made more effectual and profitable . in short , by this means none shall be hurt or shamed , but all that are willing to it , and sincere in it , shall ( god assisting ) be bettered , credited , comforted , edified , and greatly furthered by a consciencious improving their present opportunites , and the precious time of this life , in order to an happy eternity . bishop taylor in a preface of his to his treatise of repentance . i hope ( says he of himself ) i have received many of the mercies of a repenting sinner , and have felt the turnings and varieties of spiritual intercourses , and have been taught something of the secret of souls . and i have ( says he ) often observed the advantages in ministring to others , and am confident that the greatest benefits of our office may with best effect be communicated to souls in personal and particular ministrations . m r thorndyke speaking of some persons neglecting formerly to administer the sacrament , the way ( says he ) to have reformed us , should not have been to leave off communions , but to make them more frequent , and to endeavour that there might be more personal instruction , by which people might be better fitted for frequent communion . d r h. hammond of the power of the keys cap. 4. sect. 104. there will ( says he ) be little matter of doubt or controversie , but that private , frequent , spiritual conference betwixt fellow christians , but espicially ( and in matters of high concernment and difficulty ) between the presbyter and those of his charge , even in the time of health ; and peculiarly that part of it , which is spent in the discussion of every mans special sin , and infirmities , and inclinations , may prove very usefull and advantageous ( in order to special directions , reproof , and comfort ) to the making the man of god perfect . and to tell truth , if the pride and self-conceit of some , the wretchlesness of others , the bashfulness of a third sort , the nauseating and instant satiety of any good in the fourth , the follies of men , and artifices of satan had not put this practice out of fashion among us , there is no doubt but more good might be done by ministers this way , then is now done by any other means separated from the use of this ; particularly , then by that of publick preaching ( which yet need not be neglected the more when this is used ) which hath now the fate to be cried up , and almost solely depended on ; it being the likelier way , as quintilian saith , ( comparing publick and private teaching of youth ) to fill narrow mouth'd bottles ( and such are the most of us ) by taking them single in the hand , and pouring water into each , then by setting them altogether , and throwing never so many bottles of water on them . m r baxter in one of his prefaces to his reformed pastor : my advice to you is this . see that you obey your faithfull teachers , and improve their help for your salvation while you have it ; and take heed that you refuse not to learn when they would teach you . and in particular , see that you refuse not to submit to them in this duty of private instruction . go to them when they desire you , and be thankfull for their help . yea , at other times when you need their advice , go to them of your own accord , and ask it . their office is to be your guides in the way of life . if you seek not their direction , it seems you either despise salvation it self , or else you are so proud as to think your selves sufficient to be your own directors . shall god in mercy send you leaders to teach and conduct you in the way to glory , and will you stoutly send them back , or refuse their assistance , and say , we have no need of their direction ? is it ( says he ) for their own ease or gain that they trouble you , or is it for your own everlasting gain ? remember that christ hath said to his messengers , he that despiseth you , despiseth me . if your obstinate refusal of their instruction do put any of them to bear witness against you in judgement , and to say ( lord , i would have taught these , and admonished them better , but they would not so much as come to me , or speak with me ) look you to it , and answer it as you can , for my part i would not be then in your case for all the world. m r gurnall says of many , if the minister stay for them till they send for him to instruct them , he may sooner hear the bell go for them , then any messenger come for him . you must ( says he of such ) seek them out , and not expect that they will come to you . i confess ( says he ) it is no small unhappiness to some of us , who have to do with a multitude , that we have neither time nor strength to make our addresses to every particular person in our congregations , and attend on them as their needs require ; and yet cannot well satisfie our consciences otherwise . but let us look to it , that though we cannot do to the height of what we should , we be not found wanting in what we may . let not the difficulty of our province make us like some , who when they see they have more work upon their hands , then they can well dispatch , grow sick of it , and sit down out of a lazy despondency , and do just nothing . o , if once our hearts were but filled with zeal for god , and compassion to our peoples souls , we would up and be doing , though we could but lay a brick a day , and god would be with us . in the sixth general council at trull in constantinople it is thus decreed can. 78. that they that are baptized ought to learn the belief , and on the first day of the week to say it over to the bishop or presbyter . it would be endless to reckon up the sayings and exhortations of eminent divines to this purpose ; let it suffice to add further our warrant from god in holy scripture . acts 20. 20 , 28 , 31. and how i kept back nothing that was profitable unto you , but have shewed you , and have taught you publickly , and from house to house , take heed therefore to your selves , and to all the flock over which the holy ghost hath made you overseers , to feed the church of god , which he hath purchased with his own blood. by the space of three years i ceased not to warn every one , both night and day with tears . s. luke 12. 42. who then is that faithfull and wise steward , whom his lord shall make ruler over his houshold , to give them their portion of meat in due season ? col. 1. 28. whom we preach ; warning every man , and teaching every man in all wisdom , that we may present every man perfect in christ jesus . mal. 2. 7. for the priests lips should keep knowledge , and they should seek the law at his mouth ; for he is the messenger of the lord of hosts . s. mark 4. 34. and when they were alone he expounded all things to his disciples . hebr. 5. 12. ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of god , and are become such as have need of milk , and not of strong meat . 1 cor. 4 1. let a man so account of us as of the ministers of christ , and stewards of the mysteries of god. hebr. 13. 17. obey them that have the rule over you , and submit your selves ; for they watch for your souls , as they that must give an account ; that they may do it with joy , and not with grief ; for that is unprofitable for you . 1 thess . 5. 12 , 13. we beseech you brethren , to know them which labour among you , and are over you in the lord , and admonish you ; and to esteem them very highly in love for their works sake , and be at peace among your selves . a brief explication or profession of our faith , taken out of scripture , for the better understanding , and improvement of the apostles creed . i believe that there is one only true god , who is a spirit infinitely glorious , and being one in nature , is yet three in persons ; the father , the son , and the holy ghost ; which are three and one after a wonderfull and mysterious manner . the father god , the son god , and the holy ghost god , and yet not three gods , but one god infinite in being , wisdom , power , and goodness : the maker , preserver and disposer of all things ; the must just and most mercifull lord of all . i believe that mankind being fallen by sin from god and happiness , under the wrath of god , the curse of his law , and the power of the devil , god so loved the world , that he gave his only son to be their redeemer ; who being god , and one with the father , became man also in the same person , by taking to him our nature ; as to which he was conceived by the holy ghost of the virgin mary , and born of her without sin , and named jesus christ ; and having lived on earth without sin , and wrought many miracles for a witness of his truth , he gave up himself a sacrifice for our sins , and a ransom for us , in suffering death on the cross : and being buried , he rose again the third day , and afterward ascended into heaven , where he is lord of all , in glory with the father . and having ordained and appointed that all that truly repent , and believe in him , and love him above all things , and sincerely obey him , and that to the death , shall be saved ; and that they that will not shall be damned ; and commanded his ministers to publish thus much , and to preach the gospel to the world ; he will come again , and raise the bodies of all men from death , and will judge all men according to what they have done in the body . i believe that god the holy ghost , the spirit proceeding from the father and the son , was sent by them to inspire and guide the prophets and apostles , that they might fully reveal the doctrine of christ , and by multitudes of evident miracles to be the great witness of christ , and of the truth of his holy word ; and also to dwell and work in all that are drawn to believe ; that being first joyned unto christ their head , and into one church , which is his body , and so pardoned and made the sons of god , they may be a peculiar people sanctified to christ , and may overcome the world , the flesh , and the devil ; and being zealous of good works , may serve god in holiness and righteousness , and may live in the special love and communion of the saints , and in hope of christs appearing , and of everlasting life . i do heartily take this one god in the trinity of persons , for my only god , and my chief good ; and this jesus christ for my only lord-redeemer and saviour ; and this holy ghost for my sanctifier and comforter ; and the doctrine by him revealed , and witnessed by his miracles , and now contained in the holy scriptures , i do take for the law of god , and the rule of my faith and life . and repenting unfeignedly of my sins , i do resolve , through the grace of god , sincerely to obey him , both in holiness to god , righteousness to men , and in special love to the saints , and in communion with them , against all the temptations of the devil , flesh , or world , and this to death . the catechism , or christian doctrine and practice . note that the first eight questions and answers contain the foregoing profession ; and the four last do express the particulars contained in the two words holiness and righteousness , and in the ten commandments . question 1. what do you believe concerning god ? there is one only god in three persons , the father , the son , and the holy ghost who is infinite in being , power , wisdom , and goodness : the maker , preserver , and disposer of all things , and the most just and mercifull lord of all . 1 cor. 8. 4 , 6 1 john 5. 7. 1 tim. 1. 17. psal . 139. 7 , 8 , 9 isa . 40. 17. revel . 4. 8. psal . 147. 5. nehem . 9. 6. psal . 135. 6. revel . 15. 3. exod. 34. 6. quest . 2. how did god make man , and who law did he give him ? god made man for himself , after his own image , in righteousness and true holiness and gave him a righteous law , requiring perfect obedience upon pain of death . prov. 16. 4. gen. 1. 26 , 27. & 2. 16 , 17. rom. 6. 23. deut. 27. 26. gal. 3. 10. quest . 3. did man keep or break this law ? man being tempted by satan , did wilfully sin ; and so fall from god and happiness , under the wrath of god , the curse of the law , and the power of the devil : so that we are by nature dead in sin , and prone to do more evil continually , and to grow worse , and to depart yet further from god. gen. 3. rom. 5. 12 , 18. & 3. 23. & 6. 23. eph. 2. 12. hos . 14. 1. eph. 2. 2 , 3 , 5. gal. 3. 10 , 13. acts 26. 18. gen. 6. 5. 2 tim. 3. 13. hos . 13. 2. 2 tim. 2. 16. quest . 4. how was man redeemed ? god so loved the world , that he gave his only begotten son to be their redeemer ; who , being god , and one with the father , did take to him our nature , and became man , being conceived by the holy ghost of the virgin mary , and born of her , and called jesus christ , and having lived on earth without sin , and wrought many miracles for a witness of his truth ; he gave up himself a sacrifice for our sins , in suffering death on the cross , and being buried , he rose again the third day , and afterward ascended into heaven , where he is lord of all in glory with the father . john 3. 16 , 17. 1 john 2. 2. john 4. 42. rom. 9. 5. john 10. 30. & 17. 11. heb. 2. 3 , 4. & 4. 15. & ● . 14. 6. 1 tim. 2. 5. luke 1. 27 , 31 , 35. mat. 1. 18 , 20 , 23. heb. 4. 15. & 7. 26. acts 2. 22. & 7. 36. 1 tim. 2. 6. mat. 27. 31 , 35 , 60. tit. 2. 14. heb. 9. 26. 1 cor. 15. 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 12. acts 1 9 , 11. eph. 4. 8 , 9 , 10 , 11. acts 10. 36. & 2. 36. rom. 14. 9. mat. 28. 18. eph. 1. 20 , 21 , 22. quest . 5. how , and on what terms is salvation offered in the gospel ? our lord jesus christ hath ordained in his testament , that all they that receive him by a true effectual faith , and that by repentance forsake the devil , and all his works , the pomps and vanities of the world , and the sinfull lusts of the flesh , and heartily turn from them unto god , shall freely receive the pardon of their sins , and become the sons of god and heirs of everlasting life ; and that if they sincerely love and obey him unto death , they shall be glorified . and that they that will not do all this , shall be damned . and this he hath commanded his ministers to preach to all the world. 1. cor. 9. 14. heb. 9. 15. col. 2. 6. john 1. 12. mark 16. 15 , 16. gal. 5. 6. jam. 2. 24. acts 26. 18. luke 24. 47. acts 5. 31. & 11. 18. & 20. 21. & 3. 19. & 2. 28. & 8. 22. & 26. 20. luke 13. 3. mark 4. 12. isa . 55. 7. & 1. 16. ezek. 18. 21 to 32. & 33. 11. to 20. mat. 19. 27 , 29. & 10. 37. luke 14. 26 , 27 , 33. tit. 3. 5 , 7. heb. 3. 14. col. 1. 23. john 15. 1. to 12. & 8. 31. rom. 11. 22. heb. 10. 26 , 38. rev. 3. 12. 2 thes . 2. 12. mark 16. 15 , 16. mat. 28. 19 , 20 , 21. quest . 6. how did christ reveal and prove his doctrine . the holy ghost was sent by the father and the son , to inspire and guide the prophets and apostles and evangelists , that they might truly and fully reveal the doctrine of christ , and deliver it in scripture to the church , as the rule of our faith and life : and by multitudes of evident uncontrolled miracles , to be the great witness of christ , and of the truth of his holy word . joh. 14. 26. & 15. 26. 1 pet. 1. 10 , 11 , 12. & 2 pet. 1. 21. 2 tim. 3. 16. joh. 16. 13. eph. 3. 3 , 5. & 2. 20. & 4. 11 , 12 , 13. mat. 28. 20. 1 tim. 6. 14. isa . 8. 20. rev. 22. 18 , 19. heb. 3. 2 , 3. & 2. 3 , 4. acts 2. 22 & 19. 11. to 19. gal. 3. 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5. john 14. 12. & 3. 2. & 10. 25 , 37 , 38. 1 cor. 14. quest . 7. how are men brought to partake of christ and life ? the same holy spirit doth by the word enlighten mens understandings , and soften and open their hearts , and turn them from the power of satan unto god , by faith in christ : that being joyned to christ the head , and into one church which is his body , and freely justified , and made the children of god , they may be a peculiar people unto him , zealous of good works , serving god in holiness and righteousness , and living in special love and communion of the saints , and in hope of christs coming , and of everlasting life . acts 26. 18. joh. 6. 44. rom. 8. 9 , 10 , 11. acts 16. 14. ezek. 36. 26. acts 15. 9. 1 cor. 6. 11 , 19. col. 1. 18. & 2. 19. eph. 5. 30 , 31 , 32. & 3. 17. 1 cor. 12. 13 , 27. rom. 3 24. gal. 4. 6. joh. 1. 12. gal. 3. 26. tit. 2. 14. 1 pet. 2. 9. rom. 8. 1. to 14. gal. 5. 17 , 24. 1 joh. 2. 15. gal. 6. 14. 1 joh. 3. 8. luke 1. 74 , 75. 1 pet. 1. 22. joh. 12. 34 , 35. eph. 2. 19. heb. 10. 25. 1 cor. 1. 7. 2 pet. 3. 11 , 12. tit. 1. 2. & 3. 7. quest . 8. what shall be the end of the righteous and of the wicked ? the lord jesus christ will come again at the end of this world , and will raise the bodies of all men from the dead , and judge all men according to their works : and the righteous shall go into everlasting life , and the rest into everlasting punishment . acts 1. 11. 1 cor. 15. 1 thes . 4. 16 , 17 , 18. joh. 5. 22 , 27. 2 cor. 5. 10. rom. 2. 6 , 7. mat. 25. 2 thes . 1. 8 , 9 , 10. & 2. 12. 2 tim. 4. 8 , 18. luke 10. 11. joh. 17. 24. & 12. 26. mat. 13. 40. to 43. quest . 9. what are the publick means which christ hath appointed to salvation ? christ hath appointed that fit men shall be ordained bishops and pastors in his church to disciple the uncalled , and baptize all that are disciples in the name of the father , son , and holy ghost , and to congregate his disciples , and to oversee and guide the several congregations , and each member thereof . particularly to teach them the word of god , to pray and praise god with them and for them ; to administer the lords supper in remembrance of him ; and to bless them in the name of the lord : especially on the lords-day , which he hath appointed for holy communion in such works : also to rebuke with authority the scandalous and unruly , and to reject those that are obstinately impenitent and unreformed . it is therefore the peoples duty to joyn with such churches in the foresaid worship of god ; and to know , hear , submit to , and obey these their guides that are over them in the lord , and to avoid discord and division , and to live in unity , love and peace . mat. 28. 19 , 20. mark 16. 15. rom. 10. 7 , 8 , 14 , 15. 1 tim. 3. 1 , 2. 2 tim. 2. 2. acts 14. 23. acts 2. 42. & 20. 7 , 28. eph. 4. 11 , 12 , 14. ezek. 3. 17 , 18 , 21. mal. 2. 7. 1 cor. 12. 17 , 28 , 29. col. 1. 28. acts 26. 18. jam. 5. 14. neh. 11. 17. & 9. 5. & 8. 4 , 5 , 6 , 8. 1 cor. 10. 16. & 9. 13 , 14. & 11. 24. num. 6. 23 , 24. deut. 10. 8. 1 chr. 23. 13. heb. 7. 7 , 8 , 9 , 10. 1 cor. 9. 1 cor. 4. 1. 1 tim. 4 13 , 14 , 15. rev. 1. 10. acts 20. 7. 1 cor. 16. 2. mark 1● . 2 , 9. joh. 20 1 , 19. tit. 2. 15. & 1 9 , 11. 1 tim. 5. 1 , 19 , 20. & 3. 5. tit. 3. 10. 1 cor. 5. 4 , 5 , 11 , 13. acts 2. 42. heb. 13. 7 , 17 , 24. 1 thes . 5. 17. 1 cor. 16. 16. luke 12. 42. & 10. 16. 1 cor. 1. 10. & 3. 3. rom. 16. 17. eph. 4. 2 , 15 , 16. col. 2. 2. 2 cor. 13. 11. quest . 10. what are the secret holy duties which every one must use . the secret duties of holiness are frequent and serious meditation of god , and his word and works , of our own sin and danger , of our redemption , of our duty , of our death , judgement , and the endless joy or torment after it : the diligent examination of our own hearts , and watching over our thoughts , affections , words , and actions : the mortifying of our sins , especially unbelief , error , hardness of heart , pride , worldliness , sensuality , and hypocrisie : the exercise of all graces ; watching against temptations , and resolute resisting them : and secret prayer unto god. psal . 104. 34. & 119. 97 , 99. & 1. 2. & 63. 6. & 77. 12. & 143. 5. & 119. 59. hag. 1. 5. deut. 32. 29. psal . 50. 22. 2 cor. 13. 5. psal . 4. 4. prov. 4. 23. mat. 5. 28. & 12. 34 & 15. 18 , 19. psal . 119. 113. & 39. 1. mar. 13. 33. luke 21. 8 , 34. 1 cor. 10. 12. col. 3. 5. heb. 3. 12 , 13 , 14. mat. 24. 4. luke 12. 15. rom. 13. 13 , 14. mat. 6. 6 , 16. 1 cor. 3. 18. jer. 17. 9. 1 pet. 2. 1. 2 tim. 1. 6. & 4. 7. acts 24. 16 , mat. 26. 41. 1 cor. 16. 13. eph. 6. 11. to 19. 1 thes . 5. 17. acts 10. 9. luke 6. 12. quest . 11. what private duties of holiness must be performed with others ? the private duties of holiness to be performed with others , are these ; parents and masters must teach their children and servants the word , and fear of god , and pray with them , and for them ; and hinder them from sin . children and servants must willingly learn and obey . husbands and wives must be loving , faithfull , and helpfull to each other , especially in the best things which concern their eternal welfare . we must seek advice in the matters of salvation : especially of our teachers : we must friendly , prudently and faithfully admonish and exhort one another ; using gracious and edifying conference , and a winning conversation . eph. 6. 4. deut. 6. 7. & 11. 18. josh . 24. 15. psal . 101. 2 , 3. acts 10. 30. gen. 18. 19. prov. 22. 6 , 15. & 25. 13. 1 sam. 2. 23 , 29. col. 3. eph. 6. 1 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8. deut. 21. 18 , 20. mal. 2. 7. jer. 6. 16. & 50. 5. 1 cor. 14. 35. acts 2. 37. & 16. 30. rom. 15. 14. heb. 3. 13. eph. 4. 29. 1 pet. 3. 1 , 2. jam. 3. 13. acts 12. 5 , 12. col. 1. 3. & 4. 3. 1 thess . 3. 10. quest . 12. what are the necessary duties of righteousness and mercy towards men ? the necessary duties of righteousness and mercy towards men are such as these ; superiours must rule for god , and the common-good , with justice and mercy : inferiours must willingly obey them in the lord. we must deal truly , and be diligent in our places and callings ; we must love our neighbours as our selves ; and do as we would be done by ; behaving our selves to all men in meekness , harmlesness , sobriety and truth : not wronging any in their bodies , chastity , estates , or names , no not in desire , but forbearing and forgiving one another , loving our very enemies ; and doing good to all according to our power . deut. 1. 17. 2 chr. 19. 6 , 7. deut. 17. 18 , 19. josh . 1. 8. isa . 56. 1. zach. 7. 9. rom. 13. 1 , 2 , 3. 1 pet. 2. 13. eph. 6. 1 , 5. 1 cor. 7. 20 , 21. col. 3. 20 , 22 , 23 , 24. mat. 19. 19. & 22. 39. & 7. 12. eph. 4. 2. phil. 2. 3 , 15. mat. 10. 16. eph. 4. 25. tit. 2. 12. col. 3. 25. 1 cor. 6. 7 , 8. mat. 5. 21 , 22 , 23 , 24 , 25 , 27 , 28 , 39 , 44 , 45. eph. 4. 28. exod. 20. 16. psal . 15. 3. col. 3. 13. eph. 4. 2. mat. 5. 44. gal. 6. 10. heb. 13. 16. mat. 25. phil. 2. 4 , 20 , 21. 2 cor. 8. 11 , 12. concerning the sick. first , when thou findest thy self visited with sickness , thou art presently to remember that it is god who with rebukes doth chasten man for sin , and therefore let thy first care be to find out what it is that provokes him to smite thee ; and to that purpose examine diligently thine own heart and ways , and confess thy sins humbly and penitently unto god , begging most earnestly his mercy and pardon in christ jesus , and putting on sincere and zealous resolutions of forsaking every evil way for the rest of that time which god shall spare thee . secondly , that your own heart deceive you not in this so weighty a business which is for eternity , it will be your wisdom , before your disease prevail too much upon you , to send for some godly divine , your own minister especially , under whose care you live , and who may be best acquainted with your condition ; using his help to settle your conscience aright , and to make your peace with god. and to that end , open your heart so freely unto him that he may be able to judge , whether your repentance be such , as may give you confidence to appear before gods dreadfull tribunal ; and if it be not , that he may help you what he can towards the making of it so . thirdly , let it be remembred , that there is also a private communion of the sick , which people generally are so far from seeking after , that though we often , and earnestly desire them , they are but few comparatively , who , as s. james enjoyns ch. 5. 14. call or send for the elders of the church , or ministers of religion , to pray with or over them , and to perform such other duties belonging to the visitation of the sick , as may fit them if they recover , for a more holy life ; or if they die for a more happy death . lastly , take notice that i have not here set down any prayers for the sick , as is usually done in such books of devotion , because i would have neighbours oftner to acquaint me with their sickness , in order to my visiting of them ; and then as occasion shall require , i shall be ready to help them to such prayers and meditations as may be sutable to their condition , which they may make use of in my absence . grace before meat . o god be mercifull unto us , and bless us ; and injoying of these thy gifts , give them strength to nourish us , and us grace to serve and please thee , through jesus christ our lord. amen . after meat . gods holy name be blessed and praised , for these and all other his benefits vouchsafed unto us ; he save his church , our king , queen , and these realms ; comfort the afflicted , and send us peace in jesus christ our lord. amen . a short grace before meat . o god bless these thy good creatures unto our use , and us unto thy service , through jesus christ our lord. amen . after meat . we praise thee , o god , for these and all other thy mercies bestowed upon us , through jesus christ our lord. amen . or this . enable us , o , god , with thankfull hearts to live in the strength of these thy mercies , to thy praise and glory , through jesus christ our lord. amen . children or servants may be taught to say the larger , or at least , the shorter of these graces , when parents or family-guides please not to do it themselves . it is a duty of daily practice to own and praise god as being the authour and giver of all our outward enjoyments , and to crave his blessing upon them . it is very unseemly for christians to go to their meals like brute creatures , we are taught better by the holy scriptures . s. mat. 14. 19. s. john 6. 9 , 10 , 11. acts 27. 35. 1 tim. 4. 3 , 4 , 5. finis . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a25834-e280 s. mat. 6. 33. ph. 2. 12. s. luke 24. 47. 2 cor. 6. 8. acts 20. 30. 1 cor. 11. 19. 2 pet. 3. 16. eph. 4. 12 , 14. heb. 13. 9. heb. 10. 23. notes for div a25834-e1600 conf. l. 1 c. 4. if in the morning . if in the evening . here thou mayst confess to god those sins thou art most guilty of . * here beg strength against those sins thou are especially in danger of . * here praise god for special blessings concerning thy self or others . * leaving out the three last lines , and saying ( particularly for the mercies of the day past ) it will also be a prayer for the evening . * here thou mayst pray for special mercies for thy self or others . see the lords prayer and blessing , page 23. notes for div a25834-e3430 canon 13. of those 103. vide late act for the lords-day . * here reckon up those particular sins which thou art conscious of . notes for div a25834-e5870 psal . 103. * here make thy special requests for thy self and others . notes for div a25834-e6460 * page 62 , 63. christian oeconomie: or, a short survey of the right manner of erecting and ordering a familie according to the scriptures. first written in latine by the author m. w. perkins, and now set forth in the vulgar tongue, for more common vse and benefit, by tho. pickering bachelar of diuinitie. perkins, william, 1558-1602. 1609 approx. 211 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 104 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; 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(eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a09377) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 2719) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1475-1640 ; 1113:02) christian oeconomie: or, a short survey of the right manner of erecting and ordering a familie according to the scriptures. first written in latine by the author m. w. perkins, and now set forth in the vulgar tongue, for more common vse and benefit, by tho. pickering bachelar of diuinitie. perkins, william, 1558-1602. pickering, thomas, d. 1625. aut [16], 175, [1] p. imprinted by felix kyngston, and are to be sold by edmund weauer, at london : 1609. running title reads: of christian oeconomie, or household gouernment. some print faded and show-through; m8 torn, affecting page number. reproduction of the original in the british library. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng family -religious life -early works to 1800. 2004-07 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2004-07 aptara keyed and coded from proquest page images 2004-08 rachel losh sampled and proofread 2004-08 rachel losh text and markup reviewed and edited 2004-10 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion christian oeconomie : or , a short svrvey of the right manner of erecting and ordering a familie , according to the scriptures . first written in latine by the author m. w. perkins , and now set forth in the vulgar tongue , for more common vse and benefit , by tho. pickering bachelar of diuinitie . prov . 24. 3 , 4. through wisdome is an house builded , and with vnderstanding it is established . and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches . at london imprinted by felix kyngston , and are to be sold by edmund weauer . 1609. to the right honorable robert lord rich , baron of leeze , &c. right honorable ; among al the societies & states , wherof the whole world of mankinde from the first calling of adam in paradise , vnto this day , hath consisted , the first and most ancient is the familie . for if we looke into the scriptures ; the writings of moses , which in time goe beyond all the histories and records of men , doe euidently declare , it was the will of god , to sanctifie that first coniunction of adam and eue , as the roote wherein mans whole posteritie was virtually contained , and whence in the ages succeeding , both church and common-weale should spring and grow to their perfection . and all those nations and countries before the flood , the heads whereof lineally descended frō the two first houses of seth and cain , had no outward forme of ciuill gouernment , by which they were ruled , nor any visible face of a church whereto they had relation , but the whole frame of their policie both ciuill and ecclesiasticall was confined within the precincts of priuate families . and from the flood , the house of noah became the common mother , in which the other two states were included , and out of whose bowels they issued afterward in the multiplication of posteritie , for number , equall to the starres of the skie , and the sands by the sea shore . answerable to the voice of the scripture , hath been the verdict of the heathen in this point . some of the * learned among them , haue called the familie , the first societie in nature , and the ground of all the rest . some againe haue compared it to the bee-hiue , which we call the stock , wherein are bred many swarmes , which thence doe flie abroad into the world , to the raising and maintaining of other states . others do not vnfitlie resemble the same to a metropolis , or mother citie , which first traineth vp her natiue inhabitants , and then * remoueth some of them to other places of abode , where they may bee framed as members , to liue in obedience to the lawes of their head. vpon this condition of the familie , being the seminarie of all other societies , it followeth , that the holie and righteous gouernment thereof , is a direct meane for the good ordering , both of church and common-wealth ; yea that the lawes thereof being rightly informed and religiously obserued , are auaileable to prepare and dispose men to the keeping of order in other gouernements . hence it is , that the holie ghost in the booke of the scriptures , hath in great wisedome commended both rules for direction , and examples for imitation , to husbands and wiues , to parents and children , to masters and seruants in euerie point of christian carriage touching god and man. for this first societie , is as it were the schoole , wherein are taught and learned the principles of authoritie and subiection . and look as the superiour that faileth in his priuate charge , will proue vncapable of publike employment ; so the inferiour , who is not framed to a course of oeconomicall subiection , will hardly vndergoe the yoke of ciuill obedience . againe , the corruption or declination of this first gouernment , must of necessitie giue way to the ruinating of the rest . for an error in the foundation , puts the bodie and parts of the whole building in apparent hazard . in the old world , before the flood , though all flesh had corrupted their waies ; yet the first ground of that vniuersall ouerflow of sinne , issued out of the state oeconomicall , and thence was deriued into the whole earth . it was the fault of the priuate gouernment of eli the priest , that made his sonnes hophni and phinehas , of vngratious children , vngodlie church-men . it was the error of dauid in the administration and guidance of his owne house , which incouraged absalom and adoniah his sonnes , vpon presumption of their fathers indulgēce , to become ill common-wealths men , to aspire , and vsurpe the kingdom by plots and practises of rebellion . to forbeare further matter of instance in this kinde ; by the due consideration of the premisses , i hold it a thing both necessarie and behoofefull for al estates , to be throughly informed of the right manner of erecting and ordering the priuate condition of the familie , whereby they may be furnished with fit grounds for the commō good in more publike and open courses . for which end this present discourse of christian oeconomie , was first contriued by the author , and now thought fit to be set foorth , for the instruction and edification of y e multitude . which as it commendeth it selfe by the shortnes and perspicuitie , both which being applied to vnderstanding and memorie , may giue contentment to euerie well-disposed reader ; so it carrieth a kinde of eminencie aboue other treatises of this nature before published , in sundrie regards . first , whereas experience teacheth , that the questions of conscience in matrimoniall affaires , are very many in number , and difficult in nature ; here we shall finde either direct answeres to some of them , or at least the grounds of resolution in diuers cases , warranted by the word , in such sort , as little or nothing will appeare , vpon the triall , to be vntouched , making for the readers satisfaction . secondlie , the maine scope of the author in the seuerall branches hereof , is , to make plaine this truth in particular , that no familie can bee interessed in the blessing and fauour of god , which is not founded in his feare , and ordered according to his reuealed will. for though the heathen in their writings of the like argument , doe shew , that nature by her dimme light may affoord some good directions to this purpose , and that men meerely natural , haue prospered in the practise of oeconomicall vertues ; yet the true happines of houses and inhabitants wholly dependeth vpon the speciall grace of god , and issueth out of his promise ; and that is directed onely to them that feare him and walke in his waies ; it being godlinesse alone which hath the promises of this life and the life to come . therefore to dreame of a blessing in any other state , which is not seasoned with godlinesse , and ordered by direction of diuine lawe , is but a witlesse presumption ; considering that the familie it selfe from whence they grow , hath no further assurance of blessednesse , then it hath right and title in the promise . lastly , it containeth here and there , some speciall grounds of trueth , tending to the discouerie of diuers errors of popish doctrine in points appertaining to mariage ; as namely these ; i. that this estate is free to all men , euen to such as haue the gift of continencie ▪ and for those who haue not the power to abstaine , it is expressely enioyned by god as necessarie . which discouereth that error of absolute inhibition thereof to some sorts of men , without the least exception of abilitie to forbeare . and in this case , though the church of rome prescribeth an helpe by prayer and indeuour , where the gift is wanting ; yet herein , she addeth two more absurdities to the former ; imposing a necessitie of containing , by her lawes , where god hath giuen libertie , by his word ; and causing to flee from that onely remedie which himselfe hath sanctified , to another , whereunto hee neither giueth charge by his will , nor incouragement by promise . ii. that marriages consummate without the free and aduised consent of parents , either explicite in tearmes , or implicite by conniuence , are in the court of conscience , meere nullities . a doctrine cleered in this booke , both by scriptures , and by consent of antiquitie . wherein is challenged the iesuites proposition , that the sole consent of the parties is sufficient , ad matrimonium firmum ac ratum efficiendum . as also that decree of the councell of trent , which professeth a detestation of clandestine contracts , and yet with the same breath pronounceth the curse of anathema vpon them , who affirme that parents may ratifie or make voide mariages contracted by their children , without their allowance . iii. that matrimonie lawfullie begun and consummate , is made voide onely by way of diuorce in the case of adulterie . so saith our sauiour ; whosoeuer shall put away his wife , ( except it be for fornication , &c. ) and this liberty granted by christ both to dissolue , and to marrie againe , cannot be restrained or cut off by any humane ordinance . a point directlie impugned by two other rules of that councell . one , that the church of rome erreth not , when she teacheth ( as they professe , iuxta euangelicam & apostolicam doctrinam , but in truth expressely contradictory thereunto ) that the knot of mariage cannot be broken because of adulterie , and that neither partie may vndertake to be maried againe , during the life of the other , after the dismission . the other , that the vow of chastitie and entring into holy orders , is of force to loose the bond of mariage . and in this case , separation is made and allowed de facto , by the sole authoritie of the pope , notwithstanding the refusall of the setled partie to yeeld consent . iv. that the iudgement and determination of causes matrimoniall , as of contracts and their impediments , of degrees of kinred , of diuorces , &c. resteth originally in the ciuill magistrate , in whose power it is , to ordaine and establish lawes touching them , agreeable to gods word , and to cause them to be put in execution . for this purpose , in doubtfull and difficult cases , the a ancient church hath not absolutely rested in her owne decrees , but hath made recourse to the seate of iustice , specially vnder christian magistrates , submitting her selfe to their lawes and constitutions in that kinde . whereas the b church of rome hath determined , that these causes doe simplie and only appertaine to ecclesiasticall iudges ; and therefore hath concluded mariage to be a sacrament ; that the definition of cases coniugall , becomming , vpon this ground , an action of a spirituall nature , might be transferred from the ciuill to their spirituall courts . the soueraigntie whereof ; in these affaires , by their owne constitutions , is greatly inlarged . for though they admit , that politike princes haue some interest in them ; yet they must hold it , with subordination to the autoritie of the church-magistrate ; and when the rector of the prouince maketh a law hereof , hee must doe it approbante principe ecclesiastico , by the allowance of the pope ; otherwise his lawes are meere nullities . and among their reasons of policie , this is one of the principall , that they might by this meanes raise a commoditie to the sea of rome , by the sale of their dispensations . now these points , together with the substance of this small discourse , i willingly commend vnto your lordship , desiring that vnder the wings of your honourable protection , it may safelie walke abroad in the world , to the view and benefit of others . the true report of your ancient loue of the truth , and fauourable inclination to the ministers and dispensers thereof , hath giuen mee incouragement in this action ; the rather , for that the argument fitteth in some sort your present estate , whose house god hath adorned with oliue plants , a vertuous and hopefull issue , whose young yeeres being seasoned therein , by the sweete sauour of their fathers vertues , may yeeld in time a plentifull increase of honour in this common-wealth ; and consequentlie aduance your name in themselues and their posteritie . to this may be added mine own desire to giue some testimonie of dutie to your lordship , as holding it your due , to be had in honourable tearmes with men , whose care hath been to maintaine the honour of the highest by your constant profession and practise of religion . and thus emboldening my selfe vpon the perswasion of your lordships fauour and acceptance , i humblie take my leaue , and commend you to the grace of god , who is able to build you vp further , and giue you an inheritance among them which are sanctified . finching-field , septemb . 26. 1609. your lordships to be commanded in all christian dutie , tho. pickering . a short svrvey of the right manner of erecting and ordering a familie , according to the scriptures . chap. i. of christian oeconomie , and of the familie . christian oeconomie , is a doctrine of the right ordring of a familie . the onely rule of ordering the family , is the written word of god. by it dauid resolued to gouerne his house , whē he saith , i will walke in the vprightnesse of my heart in the midst of my house , psal. 101. 2. and salomon affirmeth , that through wisdome an house is builded , and with vnderstanding it is established , prou. 24. 3. a familie , is a naturall and simple societie of certaine persons , hauing mutuall relation one to another , vnder the priuate gouernement of one . these persons must be at the least three ; because two cannot make a societie . and aboue three vnder the same head , there may be a thousand in one familie , as it is in the households of princes , and men of state in the world . chap. 2. of the household seruice of god. a family , for the good estate of it selfe , is bound to the performance of two duties ; one to god , the other to it selfe . the dutie vnto god , is the priuate worship and seruice of god , which must be established and setled in euery family . and the reasons hereof are these . first , because this duty standeth by the expresse commandement of god , who by his apostle willeth men to pray ●●ery where , lifting vp pure hands , without ●●rath or doubting , 1. tim. 2. 8. againe , it is confirmed by the cu●●ome and practise of holy men in their ●mes ; i know ( saith the lord touching abraham ) that he will commaund his sonnes and his household after him , that ●hey keepe the way of the lord to doe righ●●eousnesse and iudgement , that the lord may bring vpon abraham , that which he hath spoken to him , ●en . 18. 19. to the same purpose speaketh ioshua ; if it seeme euill vnto you to serue the lord , chuse this day whom yee will serue , whether the gods whom your fathers serued ( that were beyond the floud ) or the gods of the amorites in whose land ye dwell : but i and my house will serue the lord , iosh. 24. 15. and cornelius is reported to haue been a deuout man , and one that feared god with all his household , act. 10. 2. thirdly , common reason and equitie sheweth it to be a necessarie dutie ; for the happie and prosperous estate of the familie , which consisteth in the mutuall loue and agreement of the man and wife , in the dutifull obedience of children to their parents , and in the faithfull seruice of seruants to their masters , wholly dependeth vpon the grace and blessing of god , and this blessing is annexed to his worship : for 1. tim. 4. 8. godlinesse hath the promises of this life , and the life to come . psalm . 127. 1. except the lord builde the house , they labour in vaine that builde ; except the lord keepe the citie , the keeper watcheth in vaine . vers. 2. it is in vaine for you to rise early , and to lie downe late , and eate the bread of sorrow , but he will surely giue rest to his beloued . vers. 3. beholde , children are the inheritance of iehouah , and the fruite of the wombe his rewarde . psalm . 128. 1. blessed is euery one that feareth the lord , and walketh in his waies . vers. 2. when thou eatest the labours of thy hands thou shalt be blessed , and it shall bee well with thee . vers. 3. thy wife shall be as the fruitefull vine vpon the sides of thy house , and thy children like oliue plants round about thy table . vers. 6. yea , thou shalt see thy childrens children , and peace vpon israel . 1. sam. 1. 27. i prayed ( saith hannah ) for this childe , and the lord hath giuen mee my desire which i asked of him . the household seruice of god hath two parts ; the first is a conference vpon the word of god , for the edification of all the members thereof , to eternall life . the second is , inuocation of the name of god , with giuing of thankes for his benefits ; both these are commended in the scriptures . deut. 6. 6. these words which i command thee this day , shall be in thy heart . vers. 7. and thou shalt whet them vpon thy children , & talke of thē whē thou tariest in thine house , & as thou walkest by the way , and when thou liest downe , and when thou risest vp . vers. 20. when thy sonne shall aske thee in time to come , saying , what meane these testimonies , and ordinances , and lawes , which the lord our god hath commanded you ? vers. 21. then thou shalt say vnto thy son , we were pharaohs bondmē in egypt , but the lord brought vs out of egypt with a mightie hand . vers. 24. therefore the lord hath commanded vs to do all these ordināces , & to fear the lord our god. psal. 14. 1. the foole hath said in his heart , there is no god. v. 4. they cal not vpō god. the times of this seruice are these : the morning , in which the familie comming together in one place , is to call vpon the name of the lord , before they begin the workes of their callings . the euening also is another time to be vsed in prayer , because the familie hath seene the blessing of god vpon their labours the day before , and now the time or rest draweth on , in which euery one is to commend his body and soule into the protection of the lord ; for no man knoweth what shall befall him before he rise again , neither knoweth any whether euer he shal rise againe or not , it is therefore a desperate boldnesse without praying to go to rest . besides this , there be other times also wherein to performe this dutie , as before and after meales ; for meats and drinkes are blessed to the receiuers , by the word and prayer . 1. tim. 4. 4. whatsoeuer god hath created is good , neither is any thing to be refused , if it be taken with thankesgiuing , for it is sanctified by the word of god and prayer . now these times , the word of god approueth . deut. 6. 6. thou shalt talke of them , when thou liest downe , aud when thou risest vp . psalm . 55. 18. euening and morning and at noone , i will pray and make a noise , and he wil heare my voice . psa. 127. 1. it is in vaine to rise earely , and to lie downe late , and eate the bread of sorrow , except the lord vouchsafe a blessing , who will surely giue rest to his beloued . to these may sometimes be added the exercise of fasting , which is ( as occasiō serueth ) to be vsed both publikely & priuately , especially when they of the familie be therunto called by some present or imminent calamitie . hest. 4. 16. go and assemble all the iewes that are found in shusan , and fast yee for mee , and eate not , nor drinke in three daies , day nor night : i also and my maids will fast likewise , and so will i go in to the king , which is not according to the law ; and if i perish , i perish . zachar. 12. 11. and in that day shall there be a great mourning in ierusalem , and the land shall bewaile , euery familie apart , the family of the house of dauid apart , and their wiues apart , the family of the house of nathan apart , and their wiues apart , &c. wherefore , those families wherein this seruice of god is performed , are , as it were , little churches , yea euen a kind of paradise vpon earth . and for this purpose s. paul writing to philemon , greeteth the church that is in his house , philem. 1. 2. and in like manner , he sendeth salutations to the church of corinth , from aquila and priscilla , and the church which was in their house , 1. cor. 16. 19. on the otherside , where this dutie of gods seruice is not vsed , but either for the most part , or altogether neglected , a man may tearme those families , no better then companies of prophane and gracelesse atheists , who as they deny god in their harts , so they are knowne by this note , that they doe not call vpon the name of the lord , psalm . 14. 4. yea such families are fitly compared to an heard of swine , which are alwaies feeding vpon the maste with greedinesse , but neuer looke vp to the hand that beateth it downe , nor to the tree from whence it falleth . the other dutie concerning the house it selfe , is , that euery member in the familie , according to their abilitie , employ themselues in some honest and profitable businesse , to maintaine the temporall estate and life of the whole . gen. 3. 19. in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread , till thou returne to the earth , for out of it wast thou taken ; for dust thou art , and to dust shalt thou returne . 1. cor. 7. 20. let euery man abide in the same vocation wherein he was called . now if any one in the familie starteth aside out of his calling , and inticeth another to idolatrie , he is to be reuealed , deut. 13. 6. and againe , their case is very fearefull that do nothing in their houses , but go finely and faire daintily from day to day . this is the blacke marke that the scripture sets vpon the rich glutton , luk. 16. 19. there was a certaine rich man , which was cloathed in purple aud fine linen , and fared deliciously euery day . chap. 3. of maried folkes . a familie is distinguished into sundry combinations or couples of persons . a couple , is that wherby two persons standing in mutuall relation to each other , are combined together as it were in one . and of these two , the one is alwaies higher , and beareth rule , the other is lower , and yeeldeth subiection . couples are of two sorts ; principall , or lesse principall . the principall , is the combination of maried folkes ; and these are so termed in respect of mariage . mariage is the lawfull coniunction of the two maried persons ; that is , of one man , and one woman into one flesh . so was the first institution of mariage , gen. 2. 21. which is expounded by our sauiour christ , matth. 19. 6. therfore they are no more two , but one flesh . and also by paul , ephes. 5. 31. for this cause shall a man leaue father and mother , and shall * cleaue vnto his wife , ( as two boords are ioyned together with glue ) and they which were two , shall be one flesh . wherefore this is an eternal law of mariage , that two , and not three or foure , shall be one flesh . and for this cause , the fathers , who had many wiues and concubines , it may be that through custome they sinned of ignorance , yet they are not in any wise to be excused . mariage of it selfe is a thing indifferent , and the kingdome of god stands no more in it , then in meats and drinks ; and yet it is a state in it selfe , farre more excellent , then the condition of single life . for first , it was ordained by god in paradise , aboue and before all other states of life , in adams innocencie before the fall . againe , it was instituted vpon a most serious and solemne consultation among the three persons in the holy trinitie . genes . 1. 26. let vs make man in our image , according to our likenesse , and let them rule ouer , &c. gen. 2. 18. iehouah elohim said , it is not good that the man should be himselfe alone , i will make him an helpe meete for him . thirdly , the manner of this coniunction was excellent , for god ioyned our first parents adam and eue together immediately . fourthly , god gaue a large blessing vnto the estate of mariage , saying , increase and multiplie and fill the earth . lastly , mariage was made & appointed by god himselfe , to be the fountaine and seminarie of all other sorts & kinds of life , in the common-wealth and in the church . now if mankind had continued in that vprightnes and integritie which it had by creation , the state of single life had been of no price and estimation amongst men , neither should it haue had any place in the world , without great contempt of gods ordinance and blessing . neuerthelesse , since the fall , to some men who haue the gift of continencie , it is in many respects farre better then mariage , yet not simplie , but only by accident , in regard of sundrie calamities which came into the world by sin . for , first it freeth a man from many and great cares of houshold affaires . againe , it maketh him much more fit & disposed to meditate of heauenly things , without distraction of mind . besides that , when dangers are either present , or imminent , in matters belonging to this life , the single person is in this case happie , because he and his are more secure and safe , then others be who are in maried state . 1. cor. 7. 8. therefore i say to the vnmaried and widowes , it is good for them if they abide euen as i do . vers . 26. i suppose then this to be good for the present necessitie , i meane , that it is good for a man so to be , vers . 28. but if thou takest a wife thou sinnest not , and if a virgin marrie she sinneth not ; neuerthelesse such shall haue trouble in the flesh , vers . 32. and i would haue you without care . the end of mariage is fourefold . the first is , procreation of children , for the propagation and continuance of the seed and posteritie of man vpon the earth , gen. 1. 28. bringforth fruit multiplie , fill the earth , and subdue it , genes . 9. 1. 1. tim. 5. 14. the second is the procreation of an holy seed , wherby the church of god may be kept holy and chaste , and there may alwaies be a holy company of men , that may worship and serue god in the church from age to age , malach. 2. 15. and did not he make one ? yet had hee abundance of spirit ; and wherefore one ? because he sought a godly seed . the third is , that after the fall of mankind , it might be a soueraigne meanes to auoid fornication , and consequently to subdue and slake the burning lusts of the flesh , 1. cor. 7. 2. neuerthelesse for the auoiding of fornication , let euery man haue his wife , and euery woman haue her husband . vers . 9. but if they cannot abstaine , let them marrie ; for it is better to marrie , then to burne . and for this cause , some schoolemen doe erre , who hold that the secret comming together of man and wife , cannot be without sinne , vnlesse it be done for procreation of children . lombard the master of the sentences saith the contrarie , namely , that mariage before the fall was only a dutie , but now since the fall it is also remedie . the fourth end is , that the parties married may thereby performe the duties of their callings , in better and more comfortable manner . prou. 31. 11. the heart of her husband trusteth her , and hee shall haue no need of spoile . vers . 13. she seeketh wooll , and flaxe , and laboureth cheerefully with her hands . mariage is free to al orders , and sorts of men without exception , euen to those that haue the gift of contimencie ; but for them which cannot abstaine , it ●s , by the expresse commandement of god , necessarie . hebr. 13. 4. mariage is honorable amongst all men , and the bed vndefiled . 1 cor. 7. 9. but if they cannot abstaine , let them marrie . by which it appeareth to be a cleare case , that the commandement of the pope of rome , whereby he forbiddeth mariage of certaine persons , as namely , of clergie men , is meerely diabolicall ; for so writeth the apostle , 1. tim. 4. 1. the spirit speaketh euidently , that in the latter times some shall depart frō the faith , and shall giue heed vnto spirits of error , and doctrines of diuels , vers . 3. forbidding to marrie . but against this doctrine sundrie things are alleaged . obiect . 1. the apostle commandeth the married among the corinthes , to abstaine with consent for a time , that they might giue themselues to fasting and praier , 1. cor. 7. 5. i answere , that paul speakes not in that place of daily and common seruice of god in prayer , but of the solemne and extraordinarie exercise therof , which was ioyned with fasting and abstinence , in common dangers and calamities . obiect . 2. 1. cor. 7. 32. he that is vnmarried careth for the things of the lord , how he may please the lord ; but the married person careth for the things of the world . answ. the place is not generally to be vnderstood of all , but indefinitely of those married persons that are carnall and fleshly . and he that is married , is to bee so carefull for the things of the world , as that he ought , and may haue also a special regard of those things that concerne god and his kingdome . obiect . 3. 1. tim. 5. 11. the yonger widowes ( saith the apostle ) will marrie , hauing damnation because they haue broken the first faith . answ. by the first faith , paul vnderstandeth that promise and vow which they made vnto christ , when they were baptised ; and they are there said to begin to waxe wanton against christ , by denying or renouncing that faith , and not otherwise . obiect . 4. he that doth earnestly and from his heart , craue the gift of continencie , god will giue it him , and therfore he need not marrie . answ. the gifts of god are of two sorts , some are generall , some are proper generall gifts are such as god giueth generally to all , and these may be obtained , if they be asked according to gods word , lawfully , iam. 1. 5. if any of you lacke wisedome , let him aske it of god , who giueth to all men liberally , and reprocheth no man , and it shall bee giuen him . vers . 6. but let him aske in faith , and wauer not . proper gifts , are those which are giuen only to some certaine men ; of which sort is the gift of continencie and such like , which though they bee often and earnestly asked , yet they are seldome or neuer granted vnto some men ; as appeareth in pauls example , who being buffetted by satan , saith of himselfe , for this thing i besought the lord thrice , that it might depart from me ; but he said vnto me , my grace is sufficient for thee , 2. cor. 12. 8. 9. chap. 4. of the contract . marriage hath two distinct parts , the first is the beginning ; the second , the accomplishment or consummation thereof . the beginning , is the contract or espousals ; the end or accomplishmēt , is the solemne manifestation of the contract , by that which properly we call mariage . deut. 20. 7. what man is there that hath betrothed a wife , and hath not taken her ? let him go and returne againe vnto his house , lest he die in battell , and another man take her . matth. 1. 18. when his mother marie was betrothed to ioseph , before they came together , she was found with child of the holy ghost . betweene the contract and marriage , there ought to bee some certaine space or distance of time . the reasons whereof may be these : first , a businesse of so great importance as this is , would not be rashly or vnaduisedly attempted , but should rather be done by degrees in processe of time , according to that saying , not so ancient as true . * actions of weight , before resolution , require mature deliberation , secondly , that during such a space , inquirie may be made , whether there be any iust cause , which may hinder the consummation of marriage : considering that before the parties come and conuerse together , what is amisse may be remedied and amended , which to do afterward will be too late . thirdly , in these cases , persons espoused must haue regard of honestie , as well as of necessitie ; not presently vpon the contract , seeking to satisfie their own fleshly desires , after the manner of bruit beasts , but proceeding therein vpon mature deliberation . the contract is a mention or mutuall promise of future mariage , before fit and competent iudges and witnesses . the best manner of giuing this promise , is , to make it * in words touching the present time , and simplie without any exception or condition expressed or conceiued . for by this meanes it comes to passe , that the bond is made the surer , and the ground or foundation of future mariage the better laid . and hence alone it is , that the persons betrothed in scripture are termed man and wife . iacob speaking of rahel , who was only betrothed vnto him , saith to laban , giue me my wife , genes . 29. 21. deut. 22. 23. if a maid bee betrothed to a husband , and a man find her in the towne , and lie with her , then shall yee bring them both out vnto the gates of the citie , and shall stone them with stones to death , the maid , because she cried not being in the citie , and the man , because hee hath humbled his neighbours wife . matth. 1. 20. ioseph feare not to take mary thy wife . now if the promise bee vttered in words , * for time to come , it doth not precisely bind the parties to performance . for example , if one of them saith to the other ; n. i will take thee , &c. and not , n. i do take thee , &c. by this forme of speech the match is not made , but only promised to bee made afterward . but if on the other side it be said , n. i do take thee , and not , i will take thee ; by these termes , the mariage at that very instant is begun , * not in regard of fact , yet in regard of right and intrest , which the parties haue each in another in deed and in truth . and this is the common opinion of the learned . yet notwithstanding , if the parties contracting shall say each to other , i will take thee to , &c. with intention to bind themselues at the present ; the bond is in conscience precisely made before god , and so the contract is indeed made * for the present time before god. true it is , that he which standeth to his promise made , as much as in him lieth , doth well : yet if the promise hath or conceiueth some iust cause , why hee should afterward change his purpose , the contract expressed in termes for time to come , though it were formerly made , & confirmed by oath , must notwithstanding giue place to the contract made for time present . those espousals , which are made vpon condition , which is honest , possible , and belonging to mariage , doe cease or depend : so far forth as the condition annexed ceaseth or dependeth . for example ; if the one partie promiseth to marry the other vpon cōdition , that his or her kinsman will yeeld consent to the match ; or vpon condition of a dowrie that shee shall bring vnto him , sutable to her education , and the familie whereof she commeth : these conditions being kept or not kept , the promise doth likewise stand , or not stand . but those conditions which are necessarily vnderstood , or which may certainly be kept and come to passe , do neither hinder nor suspend marriage . as this : i promise thee mariage , if i liue ; or , i promise to marie thee , if the sunne rise to morrow . againe , conditions that are either impossible or dishonest , are not to bee accounted as promises annexed * in way of marriage . of which sort are these , i will be thy wife , if thou willt take vnto thee wings and flie , or , if thou wilt bring an vntimely birth . furthermore , if the parties betrothed , do lie together before the condition ( though honest & appertaining to mariage ) be performed ; then the contract for time to come is , without further controuersie , sure and certaine . for where there hath been a carnall vse of each others bodie , it is alwaies presupposed , that a mutuall consent , as touching mariage , hath gone before . chap. 5. of the choise of persons fit for marriage . for the making of a cōtract , two things are requisite : first the choice , & then the consent of the parties . choice is an enquirie after persons mariageable . persons mariageable , are such as be fit and able for the maried state . this fitnes or abilitie is knowne and discerned by certaine signes ; which are either essentiall to the contract , or accidentall . an essentiall signe is that , without which the contract in hand becomes a meere nullitie . and of this sort there are principally fiue . the first is the distinction of the sex , which is either male , or female . the male is man of a superiour sexe , fit for procreation . the female is woman of an inferiour sexe , fit to conceiue and beare children . 1. cor. 11. 7. the man ought not to couer his head ; for as much as he is the image and glorie of god ; but the woman is the glorie of the man. 1. tim. 2. 12. i permit not the woman to teach , neither to vsurpe authoritie ouer the man , but to be in silence . by this distinction is condemned , that vnnatural and monstrous sin of vncleannes betweene parties of the same sexe , commonly termed sodomie ; as also the confusion of the * kinds of creatures , when one kind commits filthinesse and abomination with another . the second signe , is , the iust & lawf●ll distance of blood . distance of blood is then iust and lawfull , when neither of the persons that are to be married , do come neare to the kindred of their flesh , or to the flesh of their flesh , for so the scripture speaketh , leuit 18. 6. no man shall come neare to any of the flesh of his flesh : or to the * kindred of his flesh . where it is to be obserued , that by a mans flesh is meant that substance which is of himselfe , or whereof himselfe consisteth . and by the flesh of his flesh , that which next and immediately issueth out of that flesh whereof he consisteth . whereupon it followeth , that the touching or comming neare of flesh to flesh , is not spoken of strangers , but of those only that are of kindred . kindred is of two sorts , consanguinitie , or affinitie . kindred in consanguinitie , are those which issue from out , & the same common blood or stocke . and there be certaine degrees , whereby kinsmen of this sort are distinguished one from another . a degree is a generation or descent betweene two persons that are of the same blood . for one person cannot make a degree , vnlesse he be considered relatiuely in regard of generation . now many degrees continued or deriued from one and the same head , do make a line ; and a line is twofold , the right line , or the ouerthwart , cōmonly termed collaterall . in the right line , looke how manie persons there are , so many degrees there be , that only excepted , which vpon occasion offered , is in question , and from which we begin the account . abraham . isaac . iacob . ioseph . heere ioseph is distant three degrees from abraham , iacob two , isaac one , or the first . the right line is either ascending or descending . the right line ascending , is the race of all the ancestors ; and it hath sundrie degrees . of the first whereof is , the father and the mother ; of the second , the grand-father both by the father and mothers side , that is , the father of my father , and the father of my mother ; and the grand-mother , that is to say , my fathers and my mothers mother . of the third , is , the great grand-father , or the father of my grand-father ; and the great grand-mother , or the mother of my grand-father . of the fourth , is the great grand-fathers father , and the great grand-fathers , or grand-mothers mother . of the fift , is the great grand-fathers grand-father , & the great grand-fathers , or great grand-mothers grand-mother . of the sixt , is the great great grand-fathers grand-father ; & the great great grand-fathers , or great great grand-mothers grand-mother . the right line descending , is the race of a mans owne posteritie . and that also hath sundrie degrees . the first wherof is , the sonne and the daughter ; the second , the nephew , and the neece ; the third , the nephewes sonne , and the neeces daughter . the fourth is the nephewes nephew , or the sonne in the fourth degree of lineall descent , & the neeces neece , or the daughter in the same degree of descent . the fift is hee and she that are three lineall descents from the childs child . and so are the rest in their order , by what names soeuer they be called and knowne . now in this right line , whether ascending or descending , the person , of whom the case or question is moued , commeth neere to the kindred of his flesh . and therefore mariages in this line are prohibited infinitly , without any limitation ; so as if adam himselfe were now aliue , he could not marry by the law of god , because hee should come neare to the kindred of his owne flesh , as moses speaketh . the reason hereof is , because in the right line , superiours and inferiours are to each other as parents and children ; and the kindred betweene parents & children , being the first and nearest of all other , their coniuction in marriage must needs bee most vncleane , and repugnant vnto nature . the collaterall or crooked line , is that , which walketh by the sides of the right line , whether ascending or descending , in the row of the kindred . and it is either vnequall or equall . the vnequall is that , whereby the person in question and his kinsman , are vnequally distant from the common stocke , or head of the kindred . and in this line , looke how many degrees the kinsman that is furthest off from the common stock , is distant from the same , so many is he and his kinsman in question distant one from the other . for example , thare . abraham — nachor bethuel laban . heere laban being remoued furthest off , to wit , three degrees from the common stock thare ; is likewise three degrees distant frō abraham , his great vnckle , and abraham so many from him . furthermore , kinsmen in this line are of two sorts ; some are superiours to the person in question , some are inferiours to him . superiours are such , as are a kinne to his father , and mother , of some side ; and that either nearer , or further off . those that are of neare kin to them , bee these . i. the vncle of the fathers side , or the fathers brother ; the aunt of the fathers side , or fathers sister . the vncle of the mothers side , or the mothers brother ; the aunt of the mothers side , or the mothers sister . ii. the great vncle , or grand-fathers brother ; the great aunt , or grand-fathers sister . the great vncle , or grand-mothers brother , and the great aunt , or grand-mothers sister . iii. the great vncle by the fathers side , or great grand-fathers brother ; and the great aunt by the fathers side , or great grand-fathers sister . the great vncle by the mothers side , or the great grand-mothers brother ; and the great aunt by the mothers side , or the great grand-mothers sister . iv. the great grand-vncle by the fathers side , or great grand-fathers fathers brother : and the great grand-aunt by the same side , or the great grand-fathers fathers sister . the great grand-vncle by the mothers side , or great grand-mothers mothers brother : and the great grand-aunt by the same side , or the great grād-mothers mothers sister . now these in regard of their inferiours , are in stead of parents , and therefore do come neare to the kindred of their flesh . those superiours which are of kindred to parents on the one side , a farre off , are these . i. the sonne and daughter of the great vncle or aunt by the fathers side ; or of the great vncle or aunt by the mothers side . ii. the nephew and neece of the great vncle or aunt by the fathers side , or of the great vncle or aunt by the mothers side , neare to the cozin germane . and these as they stand in comparison with their inferiours , doe not come neare to the kindred of their flesh . the equall collaterall line , is that , whereby kinsmen are equally distant from their head . kinsmen of this line , are , i. whole brothers , that is , brothers by the same father and mother , or halfe brothers , that is , brethren by the same father , but not by the same mother . againe whole sisters by the same father or mother , or halfe sisters by one of them and not by both . ii. the brothers children or cousin germans ; that is , the vncles sons or daughters , or the aunts sonnes or daughters . the sisters children , or cousin germans ; that is , the aunts sonnes or daughters , which are the children of two sisters . iii. the cousin german , the son of the great vncle by the fathers or mothers side , and the cousin german the son of the great aunt , by the fathers or mothers side . the cousin-german the daughter of the great vncle , by the fathers or mothers side , and the cousin german , the daughter of the great aunt by the same sides . in this line , looke how many degrees the partie in question is remoued from the common stocke , by so many twice-told , is he remoued from his kinsman in question . put the case betweene bethuel and isaac , as in this example . thare abraham — isaac . nachor bethuel . heere bethuel being two degrees remoued from thare , is foure degrees distant from isaac . now he that is in the second degree of this line , comes neare to the kindred of his flesh ; and for that cause the mariages of brethren , and sisters are vnlawfull , and forbidden . but against this , sundrie things are alledged . obiect . 1. the sons of adam , who were the first brethren in the world , married their sisters ; marriages therefore in this degree may seeme to bee lawfull . answ. the case of those persons in those times , was a case of necessitie , which could not be auoided , and therupon was warranted by diuine dispensation . for god had giuen them his owne expresse commandement in this behalfe ; beare fruits and multiplie , gen. 1. 28. besides that , there were then no other women in the world , by whom they might haue issue and posteritie , but only by their sisters . whereupon it is manifest , that gods will was , to permit them to take euen their sisters to their wiues . but now out of this speciall dispensation from god , such matching is vtterly vnlawfull , being an apparent breach of another expresse commandement giuen afterward by god himselfe , leuit. 18. 9. 11. to this purpose saith augustine in way of answere to the example propounded . the practise of those first times , then backed by vrgent ne-nessitie ; the more ancient it was , the more damnable it proued afterward , when it was restrained by gods commandement . obiect . 2. sarah was abrahams sister , and yet abraham tooke her to wife . gen. 20. 12. yet in very deed she is my sister , for she is the daughter of my father , but not the daughter of my mother , and shee is my wife . gen. 11. 29. abraham and nahor tooke them wiues , and the name of abrahams wife was sarah . answ. touching this instance , there are sundrie opinions . the iewes doe grant thus much , that she was called by a name common to all kinsfolke of that sexe , to wit , a sister ; yet indeed shee was abrahams neece , the sister of lot , and the daughter of haran , abrahams brother , which moses elsewhere calleth iischa , genes . 11. 29. others thinke , that shee was daughter in law to thare , abrahams father ; because abraham himselfe saith , she is the daughter of my father , not of my mother . others are of opinion , that she was harans daughter in law , and after his death was translated into the family of terah , her grand-father ; who was also in ste●d of her father being dead , and thence shee was termed his daughter now howsoeuer in this varietie of iudgements , it is hard to find certaintie of truth , yet this is out of doubt , that god in those daies tolerated many things , which notwithstanding he did not altogether approue . obiect . 3. 2. sam. 13. 13. thamar saies to her brother amnon ; speake i pray thee to the king , and he will not denie mee vnto thee . ans. the speech of thamar is not simplie to be taken , as if she desired that which she said , or as if it were lawfull to be done , which she wished him to do ; but only that she sought to put him off , by giuing him this counsell , in respect of her owne deliuerance from that present danger ; wherein shee was . or at least it way be said , that she erroniously supposed it was lawfull for the king to grant such a sute , if it had bin made vnto him by her brother amnon . whether way soeuer this speech bee taken , there can no such thing bee gathered thence , as is pretended . now out of the second degree of the equal collateral line , it should seeme that those who are ioyned one to another in mariage , do not touch the kindred of their flesh ; and therefore the law of god forbiddeth not cōsobrines or cousin-germans , that is , brothers and sisters children to marrie . yea if examples be of force for this purpose , the scripture approueth such mariages . for thus it is written , that iacob married rahel the daughter of laban , his mothers brother , genes . 28. 2. againe , that mahlah , tirzah , and hoglah , milcah and noah the daughters of zelophehad , were married vnto their fathers brothers sonnes , numb . 36. 11. and othniel the sonne of kenaz , the cousin of caleb , tooke kiriath-sepher ; and hee gaue him acsah his daughter to wife , ios. 15. 17. howbeit in this case , the rule of the apostle is to be followed ; that nothing be done , euen in things that are otherwise lawfull , whereby a mans brother may stumble , or bee offended , or made weake , rom. 14. 21. wherefore it is conuenient , that such mariages should not be , because sometimes they may giue offence in regard of the law of the magistrate ; and because they come somewhat neare to the bonds and termes of blood and stocke , which god hath set downe in his word . augustine in his 15. booke , de ciuitate dei , chap. 16. saith to this purpose , experti autem sumus , &c. that is , we haue found by experience , that in regard of that neerenesse of blood , which cousin-germans haue vnto the degrees of brothers and sisters , how rarely custome hath admitted those mariages , which were warrantable by lawes , because the law of god hath not forbidden them , nor as yet the law of man. neuerthelesse the practise lawfull in it selfe , was forborne the rather , because it came neare to that which was vnlawfull , and therfore mariage with the cousin-german , seemed in a manner to be marriage with a mans own brother or sister , &c. howbeit , there is no question , but in these times it hath been well prouided by lawes , that such mariages should not be vndertaken . for as the multiplication of alliance is hindered thereby , so this inconuenience also groweth from them , that friendship and loue which is procured by affinitie , betweene men that are strangers ; cannot be enlarged and encreased , where men goe not out of the limits , and termes of their owne blood ; yea , there is naturally in man a commendable measure of shamefastnesse , whereby vpon consideration of nearenesse in blo●d , hee acknowledgeth a due debt of modestie and honor to his next kindred , and consequently estraineth himself in regard of them from he occasions and actions of concupiscence , whereunto hee is inclinable in respect of others . and hence it is , that generally the modestie that ought to be in those which intend mariage , auoideth as much as may be , these and such like coniunctions . the same is the iudgement of ambrose in one of his epistles to his friend paternus , wherin he disswadeth him frō marrying his sonne with his cousin-g●rman , vpon the grounds before alledged by augustine adding this withall , that though it were in it selfe lawfull , being no where forbidden by god , yet in sundrie respects being inexpedient , it ought not to bee done , according to the saying of the apostle , all things are lawfull for me , but all things are not expedient . but it is auouched to the contrarie , that god by expresse law forbiddeth mariage with the aunt , the fathers sister leuit. 18. 12. and with the mothers sister ▪ vers . 13. and with the fathers brother wife , which is also the aunt , vers . 14. therefore by the law of proportion , ● forbiddeth matching with the childr●● of these persons . for in nature it is a ruled case : if a man may not marrie th● mother , much lesse may he marrie the daughter . answ. the argument is faultie , and concludes nothing to the purpose . for there is not the same reason of both . in the right line of consanguinitie , those which are sisters to father and mother , stand in the place and stead of parents ; and their nephewes and neeces are to them as children , therefore mariages among them can stand by no law , either of god , of nature , or by the positiue lawes of nations . it is not so with cousin germans . for hauing no such relation , there is not in their mariages , by the law of moses , any discouerie of shame , or breach of ciuil honestie . the blessing of god vpon some of them mentioned in scripture , as vpon iacob and rahel , and such like , doe euidently shew that they were lawfull in themselues , and pleasing vnto him . and thus much touching kindred by blood or consanguinitie . kindred in affinitie , is that , whereby the termes of two kindreds , are brought into the societie of one and the same familie ; or whereby persons that are not of blood , are by marriage allied each to other . hence it is termed affinitie , because it maketh an vnitie of termes in kindred , which before were distant . affinity or alliance groweth by mixtion or participation of blood , in the coupling of man and wife together in lawfull mariage . for a bare and simple contract , maketh not alliance betweene partie and partie properly , but mariage after the contract finished and consummate . againe , the same alliance ceaseth and determineth vpon the death of either partie espoused or maried ; yet so as the prohibition of coniunction remaines , and stands in force , for the preseruation of publike honestie . now there is a kind of resemblance and proportion betweene kindred of blood , and kindred by mariage , not only in regard of degrees and line , but also in respect of the prohibition of degrees . those that are of alliance , are commonly reduced to these heads . i. the father in law , or the husbands or wiues father . the mother in law , or the husbands or wiues mother . ii. the mothers husband , or step father to them that come by another man. the fathers wife , or step-mother to those that come by another woman . iii. the wiues fathers father , or grand-father , and the wiues mothers mother , or grand-mother ; or the grand-father and grand-mother of the wife . iv. the sonne in law , or daughters husband , and the daughter in law , or sons wife . v. the neeces husband , & the nephewes wife . vi. the step-son , or son in law , that is , the son of a man by another wife , or of a woman by another husband . the step-daughter , or daughter in law , that is , the daughter of a man by another wife , or of a woman by another husband . vii . the step-sons son , or his son who comes of a man by another woman , or of a woman by another mā . and the step-daughters daughter , or her daughter who comes of a man by another woman , or of the woman by another husband viii . the husbāds or wiues brother , & the husbāds sister , or brothers wife . ix . the sisters husband , and the brothers wife . concerning affinitie , i propound these rules . i. looke in what degree a man is of consanguinity to ones wife , in the same degree of affinitie hee is to the wiues husbād . and cōtrariwise for example . isaac esau. iacob . ioseph — ioseph samuel aaron . eli. maria. leui. heere , if mar●e iosephs wife , be distant from esau iosephs vncle by the fathers side , two degrees , then also is ioseph himself distant from aaron the brother of eli his father in law , two degrees . if marie the wife , be distant from her own father eli one degree , and from her grand-father samuel two ; then also is her husband distant from eli his father in law , one degree , and from samuel his wiues grand-father , two . another example . herod . herod . philip , whose wife is herodias . heere herod being in the first degree of consanguinitie with his brother philip ; herodias his brothers wife is in the first degree of affinitie to him . ii. rule . cousins by mariage within the degrees , both of the right and collaterall line , doe come neere to the kindred of their flesh , in the same manner that cousins by bloud doe , in the same lines ; and the like degrees in both are forbidden . therefore in the right line of affinitie , it is as well vnlawful for the father in law to marrie the daughter in law , or the sonne in law to marry the mother in law ; as it is for the father to marrie the daughter , or the sonne the mother . againe , in the collaterall , it is as vnlawful for the vncle by the mothers side , to marrie the wife of his sisters son , and so in other degrees , as it is for him to match in the same degrees of cōsanguinitie . the reason is , because in these lines , as well as in those of consanguinitie , superiours and inferiours , are each to other as parents and children . from hence amongst other things , it may bee gathered , that it is in no sort lawful for a man , when his wife is dead , to marrie her sister , leuit. 18. 16. thou shalt not discouer the shame of thy brothers wife ; for it is thy brothers shame . and leuit . 20. 21. the man that taketh his brothers wife , committeth filthines , because he hath vncouered his brothers shame . against this doctrine it is obiected . first , that god commandeth not to take a wife with her sister , during her life , leuit. 18. 18. in which place , hee doth not simplie forbid a man to marry two sisters one after another , but to marrie them both together , and therefore after the wife is dead , a man may marrie her sister . ans. the place is a flat prohibition of the sin of polygamie . for to take a wife to her sister in the hebrew phrase , is nothing else but to take two wiues one to another . the like forme of speech is vsed otherwhere by moses , as exo. 26. 3. fiue curtaines shall bee coupled together , [ the woman to her sister ] that is , one to another ; and the other fiue curtaines shall be coupled [ the woman to her sister ] that is , the one to the other . ezech. 1. 9. the foure beasts were ioyned with their wings , [ the woman to her sister ] that is , the one to the other . againe , moses himselfe there alledgeth two reasons against polygamie : the one is , because the man is to loue , cherish and comfort this wife ; whereas , if he should take vnto him another besides her , he should greatly vex his first lawfull wife . the other , because by that meanes he should vncouer the shame of his wife ; that is , he should play a very dishonest part with her , to whom he was before lawfully married . obiect . 2 the lord commanded by a speciall law , that the brother , in case his brother died without issue , should take his wife , and raise vp seede vnto him , deut. 25. 5. answ. the words of moses are a speciall exception of a generall law propounded in leuit. 18. 16. thou shalt not discouer the shame of thy brothers wife ; for it is thy brothers shame . and they are peculiarly directed to the israelites , vpon speciall cause ; that , when the elder brother died without seed the name of the first borne might not be extinct , but the familie might bee preserued in that name , by raising vp of seed vnto him , which being a priuiledge proper to the israelites , vpon that speciall consideration , it must not bee enlarged to any other sort of men whatsoeuer . neither is the text to be vnderstood of cousins remoued only , as some thinke , but also of the next of the kindred by blood ; as appeareth plainly by the historie of ruth , chap. i. vers . ii. in these words of naomi to her daughters in law , turne againe , my daughters ; for what cause will you go with me ? are there any moe sonnes in my wombe , that they may bee your husbands ? turne againe , my daughters , go your way , for i am too old to haue a husband , &c. iii. rule . the wiues kinsman by blood , is of affinitie to her husband only ; but vnto his kindred by blood , the said kinsman hath no affinitie at all . so on the contrarie it is true , that though the husbands kinsman by blood , be allied to his wife , yet he hath no alliance to those that are kinsmen of blood vnto her . the reason is , because betweene the kindred of blood on the mans side , and the kindred of blood on the womans side , there is no affinitie . for the prohibition of the degrees of affinitie , hath force in those only which are the cause thereof , and goeth no further . now the cause being only in the married persons themselues , the effect may not in reason be enlarged , to them that are of the same blood with either of them . from this rule it followeth , that the kindred of both married persons by blood , may lawfully match together . the sonne in law , may match with the daughter of his mother in law . the father and the son by another wife , may marrie the mother and the daughter . two brothers may lawfully match with two sisters . iv. rule . kindred of affinitie to the wife , are also kindred of affinitie to her husband ; but how ? not properly , but only after a sort , and as it were , of affinitie . so on the contrarie . kindred of alliance to the husband , are , as it were , of alliance to his wife . for example . the wife of my father in law , which is not my wiues owne mother , but her step-mother , is , as it were , my mother in law , for she is ( as it were ) of affinitie to me , because she is indeed of affinitie to my wife . those which are of affinitie only after a sort , cannot conueniently match one with another . and therefore the sonne in law may not marrie with his wiues step-mother ; because being of affinitie to his wife , shee is in stead of a mother in law to him . neither may the daughter in law match with her husbands step-father , because hee is ( as it were ) a step-father to her . againe , my sisters husband may not marry my brothers wife ; for they are after a sort , brother and sister each to other . the reason hereof is , because the wife is holden in law a * part of her husband , and therfore if affinitie hinders mariage with one of the married couples , it hindreth as well in the like case and respect , mariage with the other . and thus much touching the distance of blood , which in the choice of persons fit for mariage , is most necessarily to be obserued . for in the 18. chapter of leuiticus , there are sixteene seuerall sorts of persons with whom mariage is forbidden . the first is the mother . the second is the step-mother . the thid , the sister by the same father and mother . the fourth , the half-sister , by one of the parents only . the fifth is the neece by the sonne . the sixth , the neece by the daughter . the seuenth , the fathers sister . the eight , the vncles , that is , the fathers brothers wife . the ninth , the mothers sister . the tenth , the daughter in law , or sons wife . the eleuenth , the brothers wife . the twelfth , the wiues mother . the thirteenth , the step-daughter , or the wiues daughter by another husbād , or husbāds daughter by a former wife . the fourteenth , is the step-sonnes daughter , that is , his daughter who was the wiues sonne by another husbād . the fifteenth , the step-daughters daughter . the sixteenth , is the wiues sister . and not only these , but all other answerable to them , either in the same or like degree , are by equall proportion forbidden to be had in mariage . it is alledged , that the prohibitions mentioned in that chapter , are meerely mosaicall , that is , ceremoniall , and therefore doe not bind vs now in the new testament . answ. it is a flat vntruth ; as shall appeare by these reasons . first , the cananites long before these lawes were giuen by moses to the israelites , were grieuously afflicted for the breach and contempt of the same , as may bee gathered by that which is written in the same chapter of leuiticus , vers . 3. according to the workes of the land of canaan , yee shall not do , neither walke in their ordinances . and vers . 24. you shall not defile your selues in any of these things : for in all these the nations are defiled , which i will cast out before you . vers . 25. and the land is defiled ; therefore i will visite the wickednes thereof vpon it , and the land shall vomit out her inhabitants . secondly , the prophets themselues after moses , are wont to account these prohibitions not ceremonial , but morall . ezech. 22. 10. in thee , haue they discouered their fathers shame ; in thee haue they vexed her , that was polluted in her flowers . amos 2. 7. a man and his father will go in to a maid , to prophane the name of my holinesse . thirdly , the same lawes are also vrged in the new testament , wherin legal ceremonies were determined , and had their end . mark. 6. 18. iohn said to herod , it is not lawfull for thee to haue thy brothers wife . 1. cor. 5. 1. it is heard certainly , that there is fornication among you , and such fornication , as is not once named among the gentiles , that one should haue his fathers wife . fourthly , nature it selfe by proper instinct , abhorreth such kind of coniunctions , & the prohibitions of them , haue sufficient ground , euen from her principles . for to this purpose it is , that not only the lawes of the romane emperours , but also the ciuill canons and constitutions of men , very skilfull in that kind , haue in all ages expresly bin made against such persons , as haue offended in those societies forbidden by the law of moses . fiftly , the lord himselfe hath denounced many and great punishments to be inflicted vpon the breach of the same lawes . leuit. 20. 11. the man that lieth with his fathers wife , because hee hath vncouered his fathers shame , they shall both die ; their blood shal be vpon them . vers . 12. the man that lieth with his daughter in law , they both shall die the death ; they haue wrought abomination ; their blood shall bee vpon them . vers . 14. he that takes a wife and her mother , committeth wickednesse ; they shall burne him and them with fire . vers . 16. the man that taketh his sister , his fathers daughter , or his mothers daughter , and seeth her shame , and she seeth his shame ; it is villanie : therefore they shall be cut off in the sight of their people . vers . 20. the man that lieth with his fathers brothers wife , and vncouereth his vncles shame , they shall beare their iniquitie , & shall die childlesse . deut. 23. 2. a bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the lord , euen to his tenth generation . deut. 27. 20. cursed be he that lieth with his fathers wife . the third essential signe of a person mariageable , is abilitie and fitnesse for procreation . and this in an holy and modest sort is alwaies supposed to bee in the partie contracted , vnlesse the cōtrarie be manifestly knowne , & discerned by some apparent infirmitie in the bodie . hence i gather , that it is vnlawful to make a contract with such a person , as is vnfit for the vse of mariage , either by naturall constitution of bodie , or by accident . for example ; in regard of sicknesse , or of frigiditie , or of the palsie vncurable , or lastly of the depriuation of the parts belonging to generation . these and such like impediments are of force , though a contract should alreadie be made , yet to make it a meere nullitie , considering that god maketh knowne his will in them , that hee approoueth not of such espousals , but would haue them to be dissolued . againe , that which is made betweene two persons that are * vnder age , is to bee holden and accounted as vnlawfull . and though it should be done by consent , or cōmandement of parents , yet it is of no moment . this alwaies remembred ; except it bee ratified by a new consent of the parties after they be come to age ; or that they in the meane time haue had priuate and carnall copulation one with another . againe , put the case two be espoused , whereof the one is vnder age , the other of full age ; the partie that is of full age , ought to tarrie and expect the time , wherein the issue of the espousals formerly made , may bee manifested . and the vnder-aged may not break off consent , either before , or when they be come to perfect yeares , but must rest in expectation of the accomplishment of the contract , when hee or she shall be out of their minoritie . the fourth essential signe , is a sound and healthfull constitution of bodie , free from diseases incurablie contagious . whereupon it followeth , that a promise of mariage made betweene those , whereof the one hath a disease so lothsome , as that the other vpon good ground cannot possiblie endure familiar societie and companie with him ; though it do not wholly hinder the vse of the bodie , is vtterly vnlawfull . of this sort is the leprosie , the frēch poxe and such like . for seeing there cannot be any matrimonial vse of them that are tainted with such contagious diseases , without apparent danger of infecting each other , and those also , which haue societie with them , and others ; yea and by this meanes the issue of their bodies , growing of a corrupted seed , are euen borne to perpetual miserie , and to the great hurt and hinderance of the common-wealth ; the case is plaine , that such mariages cannot be vndertaken with good conscience . now if the one party haue a disease , though not contagious , yet either incurable , or so * lothsome , as the other hath iust cause to abhor his companie ; for example , if he be sicke of a lethargie , of the falling sicknes , or such like diseases ; then , though it be lawfull to match with him , because such a contract is not expressely forbidden , neither is it apparantly hurtfull to the cōmon-wealth , yet is it not expedient , because the disease being lothsome to the sound partie , the mariage also will become vnprofitable , and the partie in danger of breaking the commandemēt of the morall law , wherein god forbiddeth to commit adulterie . the fifth essentiall signe of a person mariageable , is freedome from mariage ; whereby both the parties which enter contract , are so at libertie , that neither the man hath in present another wife , or is promised to another ; nor the woman hath another husband , or is promised to another . the reason is , because god himselfe esteemeth that mariage only lawfull , wherein one man is ioyned to one woman , and they both into one flesh ; & consequently iudgeth it vnlawfull , as for one man to haue more wiues ; so for one woman at the same time to haue more husbands . hence it followeth , that it is against the law of god , and the first institution of mariage , that a contract should bee made betweene such persons , whereof the one is formerly betrothed to another . for so long as the first promise stands in force , the man can no more be betrothed to two women , then he may be the husband of two wiues ; because the spouse by the bond of her promise to the man , becomes a wife ; and the man by the bond of his promise to the woman , becomes an husband , deut. 22. 23. 24. againe , there can bee no sure-making , and consequently no mariage with such a one , as either hath been diuorced without a sufficient cause , or hath wrongfully forsaken and reiected a lawfull mate before . to this purpose saith our sauiour christ , matth. 19. 9. i say vnto you , that whosoeuer shall put away his wife , except it be for whoredome , & marieth another , committeth adulterie ; and whosoeuer marrieth her which is diuorced , committeth adulterie . and saint paul , 1. cor. 7. 11. but & if she depart , let her remaine vnmarried , or be reconciled vnto her husband , and let not the husband put away his wife . hitherto i haue treated of essentiall markes , which belong to the being of mariage . now i come to those that are accidentall . an accidentall marke of a person fit for mariage , is that , which belongeth not to the being , but to the well being , that is , to the holines and puritie of that estate . and of this sort , there be three that are the principall . the first is paritie or equality , in regard of christian religion ; for in mariage , there is a speciall care to be had , that belieuers be matched with belieuers , and christians with christians ; not belieuers with infidels , or christians with pagans . for the former sort are only and alwaies to be made and kept , and the latter to be auoided , yea inhibited by positiue lawes and constitutions , the breach whereof in such cases is seuerely to be punished . the neglect of this point was one principall cause of the destructiō of the old world by the floud . gen. 6. 2. the sons of god saw the daughters of men , that they were faire , and they tooke them wiues of all that they liked . abraham obserued it in the mariage of isaac his sonne , and for that purpose tooke an oath of his seruant . gen. 24. 3. i will make thee sweare by the lord god of heauen , and god of the earth , that thou shalt not take a wife vnto my son , of the daughters of the cananites among whom i dwell . and in imitation of that holy example , isaac also giues a charge vnto iacob his son , that he should not take a wife of the daughters of canaan , gen. 28. 1. afterward there was an expresse law of god giuen by moses , touching the gentiles that liued in that land . exod. 34. 15. beware that thou make not a couenant with the inhabitants of the land , &c. vers . 16. and take of their daughters vnto thy sonnes , and their daughters go a whoring after their gods ; and make thy sonnes goe a whoring after their gods . and the same law was vrged by ezra the priest in his time . ezra 10. 11. separate your selues from the people of the land , and from the strange wiues . lastly , s. paul exhorteth the corinthiās , 2. cor. 6. 14. be not vnequally yoked with the infidels . and titus 3. 10. reiect him that is an heretike , after once or twice admonition . but suppose it falleth out , that the espousals be past , and that both parties at the first were belieuers , or one of thē only ; or that at first both were vnbelieuers , and yet afterward one of them is conuerted to the faith ; or further , admit that both were belieuers at the contract , yet within some time after , the one becomes an infidell , that is to say , a iew , a turke , or an obstinate heretike , that denies the faith , and razeth euen the very foundation of religion ; in this case what is to be done ? surely euē such espousals once made and ended , if there be no other impediments but these , are to stand & continue firme and vnchangeable ; so long as the vnbelieuing partie doth willingly yeeld , and submit him or her selfe to the performance of mariage duties , properly belonging to man and wife . my reason is , the speech of paul , who saith ; if any brother haue a wife , that beleeueth not , if she be content to dwell with him , let him not forsake her . againe , the woman which hath an husband that belieueth not , if he be content to dwell with her , let her not forsake him , 1. cor. 7. 12. 13. if it be heere alledged , that the sin of adulterie dissolues the bond both of contract and mariage , and therefore much more doth idolatrie or infidelity , which is a sinne farre more detestable then adulterie : i answere , that the questiō is not , whether of these is the greater sin , or more hainous in the sight of god ; for infidelitie in both respects far exceedeth the other ; but whether of them is more repugnant to the nature and condition of wedlocke . now the sinne of adulterie is that alone , which breakes the bond , and renounceth the troth plighted in mariage , and is the proper cause of a diuorce , and not idolatrie or infidelitie . the second note , is parity or equalitie in regard of age and condition . first of age ; because though the mariage of persons , whose yeares are farre vnequall , is not expresly forbidden in the word ; yet is it agreeable to the rules of expediencie and decencie , that the aged should match with the aged , the yonger with the yonger . reasons are these . first , because the comforts of this societie in likelihood will by this meanes alwaies be equall , and consequently bring the more contentment to either partie . secondly , these vnequall mariages are often times offensiue to others . thirdly , they cannot but in some cases proue offensiue euen to themselues . for when a man of great yeares matcheth with a woman very yong , or a yong stripling marrieth an aged woman ; the elder partie growing weake and impotent , may the sooner come to be vnfit for mariage duties ; and the yonger being of greater strēgth and abilitie , , the more in danger of being exposed to incontinencie , and that in the highest degree , vnlesse he be restrained by gods speciall grace . for this cause it was a great fault , wherewith one apuleius was iustly charged , that being but a very yong man , he was married to a wife of 60. yeares of age . secondly , of condition and estate . for this also is answerable vnto the apostles rule , who exhorteth men to thinke of , and to do those things which are true , iust , commendable , and of good report , philip. 4. 8. thus it is a seemely and commendable practise , that , the prince , the noble man , the free-man , the gentleman , the yeoman , &c. should be ioyned in societie with them , that are of the same or like condition with themselues , and not otherwise . for this cause are the auncient romans greatly to be commended , who ( as we reade in their stories ) had such a carefull respect of their mariages in this behalfe , that they made lawes and constitutions for the restraining of inequalitie of worldly estate in such societies , by this meanes preuenting much confusion and disturbance in families , and other orders of men . whereunto agrees that of tertullian , who saith , that if a free woman had affianced her selfe to him that was a bond-man to another , and being thrice admonished thereof , by him that had authoritie ouer her , did notwithstanding perseuere in her purpose ; she should , according to the law , lose her freedome . the third note is publike honestie and credit , whereby the contract made becomes a matter of good report , well thought and spoken of abroad . whatsoeuer things are of good report , thinke on them . philip. 4. 8. from hence i gather , i. that it is an vnseemely thing for a mā to make promise of mariage to such a woman , as hath bin formerly deflowred , or hath and is , or may beconuinced of adulterie & vncleannes . nay i adde further , that a cōtract made with such a one , as himself hath before deflowred , is by the law of god vnlawfull . for the adulterer and the adulteresse , by diuine law should be put to death , and be cut off from humane societie , leuit. 20. 10. ii. it is altogether inexpedient , that a woman should be married to such a man , as hath a concubine , vnlesse hee formerly renounce her , and testifie the same by true and vnfeined repentance . the reason is plaine . such a mariage cannot be vndertaken in the lord. and the partie himselfe , being before polluted with his concubine , becomes now by mariage to another , an adulterer ; and she that is maried vnto him , by this her act yeelds consent vnto his adulterie . iii. that no man professing christian religion , much lesse a minister of the word , ought to take to himselfe in mariage a harlot , a defamed woman , or one that comes of infamous parents , though she be repentant . leuit. 21. 7. the priest shall not take to wife one that is a whore , or prophaned , that is to say , which hath an euill name , or comes of ignominious parents . which law , though it was in part ceremonial and leuitical , and so far forth abrogate ; yet hauing in it some moralitie , in as much as the reason therof ( to wit , because it is reprochfull to a christian , but specially to a minister ) is still in force , it is to be holden perpetuall . for christian profession , and the ecclesiasticall ministrie is principally to be respected , and whatsoeuer may preiudice the dignitie and credit thereof , to be auoided . obiect . 1. the prophet hosea was commanded to take vnto him a wife of fornication , that is , an harlot , hosea 1. 2. answ. hosea did it not in deed , but in type and resemblance . for god commanded him in his prophecie , to take vpon him ( as it were ) the person of a fornicator , that by this meanes hee might the more effectually charge and cōuince the israelites of their vncleane and vnchast conuersation . obiect . 2. the lord also forbiddeth the priest to marrie a widow , leuit. 21. 14. it may seeme therefore vnexpedient for a minister so to do . answ. the law concerning the mariage of a virgin , and not a widow , was not enioyned to all priests , but only to the chiefe priest , leuit . 21. 10. and hee also might marrie a widow , but such a one only , as had bin the widow of a priest , and not any other , ezech. 44. 22. now this was commanded them vpon speciall consideration . for the high priest was a type of christ , and christ was in time to come to call his church , the elect , among the gentiles , and to marrie them as a virgin espoused vnto himselfe . yea he was also to marrie his church as a widow , but the widow of a priest only , because he was to gather to himselfe the remnant of the church of the iewes ; howbeit not all of them , but such only as came of the holy fathers , and were israelites , not according to the flesh , but according to the promise . iv. that it is not meete for a man to be contracted to the sister of her that is alreadie affianced vnto him . and so much of the first point , required to the making of a contract , namely , the choice of a person fit for mariage . chap. 6. of consent in the contract . the second thing required to the making of a contract , is the free and full consent of the parties , which is indeed the very soule and life of the contract . and this consent standeth in the approbation , or ( as wee commonly call it ) the sure-making of the parties contracted . consent in this case is twofold , either of the man and the woman , or of their parents . touching the first ; that the man and the woman may yeeld free consent each to other , it is necessarie that , in respect of vnderstanding , their iudgemēt should be sound ; and in regard of will , their choice should be free . and here sundrie cases are to be resolued . i. case . when the contract flowes not from the wil and good liking of the parties , but is forced and compelled , what is then to be done ? ans. if the espousals haue bin made through force , or feare ; i meane , such as may befall a constant , and resolute man , and which hath bin wrought , vpon good knowledge , and cōsideration ; then are they of no moment , & in truth meere nullities ; because there is wanting to them the free and voluntarie accord , and assent of both parties . neuerthelesse , if afterward they shall grow to a new consent , or both yeeld to an after-acceptation of that which was formerly made , the espousals shall then stand in force ; without further exception , or contradiction . ii. case . but how if consent bee past , and in processe of time it appeares to the espoused persons , that they haue erred , either in choice , or consent , or both ? answ. there is a three-fold error in consent ; the one of the person , the other of the abilitie , or estate of the person ; the third of the qualitie . error in respect of the person , is , whē one person is taken for another ; or whē the contract is made betweene two , whereof the one was taken to be such a partie , as afterwards he proued not to be . now where this error is committed , it is a plaine case , there was no consent ; and therefore the contract , vpon certaine knowledge therof , is quite frustrate . for the knowledge of the partie is the ground of consent , and belongs consequently to the very substance of mariage . neuerthelesse , if , the error being once knowne , the parties haue had secret societie one with another ; & haue either againe consented , or growen to an after-acceptation of the consent before made , the contract may and doth stand in full force . for example : iacob , by the deceit of laban , had taken leah for rachel , to his wife ; so saith the text , when the euening was come , laban tooke leah his daughter , and brought her to him , and he went in vnto her , gen. 29 ▪ 23. but when the morning was come , behold it was leah , 25. now by the iudgement of the best diuines , iacob might iustly haue renounced leah , if he would , because laban had giuen her vnto him for rachel , and so deceiued him ; yet hee would not vse extremitie , but kept her as his wife . if it be said , there was an error in the person , therefore no consent , and so leah was not his lawfull wife , but rachel . i answere , that iacob did renue his cōsent afterward , & that renued cōsent following vpon their knowing one of another , made her his wife , though in extremity & rigor she was not . againe , rachel was indeed the partie to whom he was espoused , by the former cōtract ; and therfore , vpon their mutuall agreement afterward , she also became his wife . so saith the holy ghost , vers . 27. fulfill seuen yeares for her , and we will also giue thee rachel for thy seruice , &c. v. 28. then iacob did so , and laban gaue him rachel his daughter to be his wife . error of the ability or estate is , when one of the parties to whom cōsent was giuen by the other , being taken for rich and wealthie , in the issue proues to haue been very poore , and not sufficient to maintaine that state of life . touching this error , it is to be considered , whether the cōtract was made absolute , for the time present , & so for euer afterward , or conditional for time to come only . if it were absolute , that is , conceiued in termes of the present time , then though the deceit bee verie offensiue to the partie deluded , and vpon his complaint ought in equitie to be punished by the magistrate ; yet it is not of force to breake off the contract ; because the abilitie of either or both parties belongs not to the essence of mariage . but if it were for time to come and conditionate , then he or she that made promise vpon this condition , is free and not bound in conscience to fulfill the promise ; vnlesse the condition expressed aforehand be kept , and performed . error of the qualitie of the person , is , when she which was in the espousals taken to bee a virgin , is afterward found to be with child by another , before they come together . by this error the couenant is made void , and becomes a meere nullitie ; so as the man cannot be compelled , vpon true and certaine knowledge thereof , to marrie the woman ; but may renounce her , vnlesse both parties come to a new agreement , or haue priuately knowne each other vpon mutuall consent . for first , god did in expresse tearmes command the iewes , that such a woman should be stoned to death : deut. 22. 20. if the maid ( that was giuen to wife ) be not found a virgin , vers . 21. then shall they bring the maid to the doore of her fathers house , and the men of her citie shal stone her with stones to death , because she hath wrought folly in israel , by playing the whore in her fathers house . therefore it was not the will of god , that she should be retained as a wife , but vtterly reiected and forsaken . againe , this was so vsual a practise in israel vpon gods commandement , that godly and righteous men , vpon the discouerie of this error , would not in conscience be perswaded , to marry thē to whom they had been betrothed , matth. 1. 18. ioseph her husband ( hauing found , before marie and he came together , that she was with child ) being a iust man , and not willing to make her a publike example , was minded to put her away secretly . iii. case . what shall we thinke of the espousals of such , as are furious , and franticke ? answ. we must distinguish of these diseases . for madnes is , either perpetuall , or by fits only with intermission . if it be perpetuall , the case is cleere , that whether one of the parties only , or both be franticke , the contract made betweene them , is altogether vnprofitable & vaine . for such know not what they do whē they make a promise , and the consent which passeth betwixt thē cannot be free , full and perfect , but must needs be hindred and preiudiced by the heate and violence of their disease . now although perpetuall madnesse be a iust impediment of mariage , and a sufficient cause to dissolue a contract , yet it is meet that there be a conuenient space of time agreed vpon , wherein all meanes may be vsed for the curing of this disease , to the end that gods wil touching their amendment may be the more euidently knowne ; and both the parties themselues , and their friends may giue testimonie to the world , that they haue had a carefull respect of the contract before made . againe , if it be not continuall , but by * fits , so as they haue some good daies , and quiet intermissiō , the case is otherwise . for the contract shall be ratified , and stand in force : prouided , that it was manifestly knowne , that the said parties were both in their right wits , before they plight their troth each to other ; and themselues be willing afterwards to confirme their promise forme●ly made , by renuing their consent . consent of the parents , is that act whereby they giue their word and promise , to bestow their children in mariage , and in regard of right , doe indeed presently bestow them . therefore priuate contracts , that are made without free and lawfull consent of parents , are not only vnprofitable and vnlawfull , but euen by the law of god meere nullities . reasons . i. they are contrarie to the expresse will and commandement of god : exod. 20. honor thy father and thy mother . ii. they are flat repugnant to naturall equitie ; which teacheth , that he who hath not power , nor right ouer himselfe , cannot bind himselfe by promise to another . now children haue not power ouer themselues , but are vnder the gouernment , & at the disposition of their parents ; therefore the couenants which they make , are not made and appointed of god , and those which god maketh not , are in deed and truth none at all . chap. 7. of reiection , or refusall of the contract . contrary to a complete and lawful cōtract , is reiection , wherby the contract is dissolued , or broken off . a lawfull contract is then dissolued , when some great and hainous fault followeth immediately vpō it , in either of the parties espoused . and from hēce arise diuers and sundrie cases to be set downe and resolued . the first is this . what is to be done , when some disease befals one of the parties immediately after the contract made ? answ. those diseases which take away the vse of the bodie , and altogether disable the partie from the performance of the promise made , in respect of mariage duties , are very iust impediments of mariage , and consequently do break off the contract . of which sort are vncurable palsies , frigiditie , and such like , whereof i haue spoken before . neuerthelesse a couenāt once made , is not suddenly to bee renounced , for feare of breeding offence . and therefore some longer respite is to be taken from the time of the contract , in which they are to rest in expectation of amēdment , before the said diseases be publikely and solemnely declared to be incurable , and consequently that the couenant made is become void . now , if the disease do not for the present take away the vse of the body , and yet in time proues incurablie contagious , and so lothsome , that the one may iustly feare to keepe and conuerse with the other ; as it falleth out when one is tainted with leprosie ; then the contract is vtterly to be dissolued , as if god himself should haue commanded it , though the promise was formerlie made , & the parties themselues should be vnwilling . god hath ordained matrimonie to helpe , not to hurt either the persons themselues , or others . where therefore these diseases be , which may infect , hurt , or destroy others , there god hath , as it were , testified from heauen , that the act done is not pleasing vnto him , and that presently it ought to be frustrate . the contract being thus once dissolued , the sounder partie shall be at his , or her libertie to marrie againe . but the diseased is by the magistrates authoritie , to be forbidden societie with any other in way of mariage , and commanded to lead his life , where he may conueniently from companie , for feare of infection . and withal he is for his owne part , to sue vnto god by prayer in faith for the gift of continencie . for certaine it is , that he to whom god hath denied the power of vsing mariage with good conscience , is thereby euen called to continencie and single life . but if the disease be not contagious , yet either incurable , or so nastie , that either of the espoused hath iust cause to be afraid of the others companie ; then both are to be aduised , not to claime their right , but willingly to surrender it each to other by mutuall consent , that they may be free againe , & not bound by any former promise to liue together as man and wife . considering that they haue no hope mutually to conuerse together , with comfort & contentment , while they so remaine . vpon this aduice giuen by their lawfull pastor , or some in his stead ; if they both yeeld , or one of them at the least desires to be at his owne libertie , the espousals are forthwith to be brokē off . but if neither will consent to a separation , but rather proceed as they haue begun , and in probability the one haue no iust cause to hold the other in suspition , in respect of contagion ; they are not to be hindered from the consummation of their mariage . furthermore , though one of them should haue a disease , which is continuall without intermission , & yet curable , or any other incōuenience should befall either of them , after the sure-making , wherby they become lame , deafe , or dumbe , &c. yet this is not a sufficient cause to moue them to renounce , and dissolue the contract . a second case . what if it falleth out , that after the finishing of the contract , one of the espoused persons bee long absent from the other , so as the absence bee preiudiciall to the mariage , that should ensue vpon the contract ? answ. inquirie must be made , whether this absence be voluntarie , or against the will of the partie . if it be voluntarie . for example ; if the man vpon an honest and iust cause , the woman also being priuie thereunto , shall go beyond seas , and being admonished of his dutie before hand , shal notwithstanding stay a whole yeare or more , and will not returne , but further wilfully absent himselfe ; then may it be lawfull to the woman , to craue of the publike magistrate a dissolution of the couenant made , & consequently marry another man , vnlesse the former , to whom she was contracted , be heard of . if he be , then shall it be lawfull for him to pleade for himselfe , and tendring no iust cause of his refusall , he shall be forced by the magistrates authoritie to stand to his promise , and take the woman for his wife . and the same order is to be taken in the wilfull absence of the woman , after she is contracted . if againe , the man or woman shall vpon an euill mind , and with purpose to deceiue each other , absent thēselues , and depart ; meanes must be vsed , that they may be admonished of their dutie . that being done , or at least vndertaken , and yet the partie offending will not appeare , if the other that is present , vpon certaine knowledge of his , or her want in respect of continencie , shall sue to the magistrate ; after publike and solemne notice giuen , the contract may be broken . but if on the other side , either of them be absent against their wil , and intendeth no fraud or deceit , but is violently detained , by captiuitie , imprisonment , sicknes , force , banishment , transportation or such like ; then the partie present being desirous of the consummation of the mariage , ought either to make meanes vnto him , and expect his returne , or haue certaine notice of his death , before she promise , or haue to do with any other in way of mariage . a third case . what if after the contract , one of the parties becomes furious , or madde ? answ. if the disease be continuall , without intermission , in all equitie and likelihood , the espousals are to be dissolued , vnlesse both parties after knowledge and experience of the disease , haue knowne one another : yet in this , and all such like cases , it is fit that all good meanes be tried and vsed , and sufficient time be giuen for the restoring of the diseased , to their former good estate , and for the accomplishment of the mariage lawfully begun , as before . chap. 8. of mariage . mariage is that , wherby the coniunction formerly begunne in the contract , is solemnely manifested , and brought to perfection . mariage is consummate by three sorts of actions ; one of the parents of the bride and bridegroome , the other of the minister in publike , the third of the persons coupled together . the action of the parents is vpon the mariage-day , to bring the bride , and deliuer her to the bride-groome , that they two may become actually man and wife , and performe each to other all matrimoniall duties . and where the mariage is complete , in any other manner , so as the parents vpon sound iudgement and deliberation , shall deny their full and free consent , either in expresse words , or by cōniuence and silence , and that vpon iust and lawfull cause ; there , though in the ciuill courts of men , it may stand , and the children borne therein bee legitimate before men , yet the truth is , before god it is of no force , but a meere nullitie . and because this doctrine , touching consent of parents in these cases , is of great vse , and auaileth much to the supporting and mai●●●ining of families ; i will first open the truth thereof , and then proue it by reasons . vnder the name of parents are comprehended ; first , the father and mother . secondly , all tutors and guardians , who haue the proper & sole charge of wards , or others vnder yeares of discretion . thirdly , all such as are kindred of blood , who are in stead of parents to childrē , as the vncle by the fathers side , the vncle by the mothers side , and such like . now touching the consent of parents , that is , of father and mother , i hold it requisite of necessitie to marriage : for the authoritie of parents must not be resisted , or violated . as for tutors , and such as haue the place of parents , their consent is not required of necessitie , but * of honestie at least , because the power and authoritie of the parent , though it be not taken away , yet it is lessened , when it is either transferred to another person , or in part resteth in the child alreadie bestowed . secondly , by parents consent , i vnderstand that which they giue , not rashly , vnaduisedlie , or foolishlie , but out of good & wise consideration , and vpon true and sound iudgement , of the businesse in hand : for otherwise , as much as in them lieth , they make the mariage void and of none effect . and they are then thought to carrie a right iudgement of the thing , when they be able to yeeld a iust cause of yeelding , or denying their consent . for example ; if a father denies to bestow his daughter iulia vpon sempronius , because hee knowes him to be an arrian , a pelagian , or of any other sort of heretikes ; he withholdeth his consent vpon a good ground , & he doth that which he doth , of iudgement . yet further i adde , that where the parents do dissent , and can yeeld no probable cause thereof ; the mariage consummate without their consent , ought to be confirmed and ratified by the authoritie of the magistrate , who is pater patriae . and this seemes to be the most equall course , both for the auoiding of greater scandals , & for the preuenting of wrong , that may otherwise be done in some particular case , as to a woman that is defloured and reiected . thirdly , consent of parents is either expressed , or implied ; expressed , when it is giuen by words ; implied , when it is yeelded by silence . for it standeth with most equitie and indifferencie , to thinke that those parents do giue consent , who do not by word expresly denie the same . fourthly , children are either subiect to the authoritie of their parents in the familie ; or at their owne libertie , & out of their parents subiection . those that are at liberty , are tied necessarily to subiection in respect of mariage ; but the other being still of the familie , and vnder iurisdiction , are bound to be ordered , by their parents in the bestowing of themselues . this is briefly the meaning of the question in hand . now , for proofe of this point , i will propound three sorts of arguments , wherof some are drawne from the law of god , some from the light of nature , and some from the iudgement of the ancient church . for the first sort . according to the law of god , mariage is not only a ciuill and politike , but also a diuine and spirituall coniunction , the author and ordainer whereof , vpon speciall cause , was god himselfe : this our sauiour christ witnesseth , when he saith , those whom god hath ioyned together , let no man separate , matth. 19. 6. that therefore mariages may be soundly ratified and confirmed , the authoritie and power of god himselfe is necessarily to be interposed . if it be asked , how god that is in heauen , should bring and ioyne together man and wife vpon the earth ? i answere , that he doth it not immediately by himselfe , as he brought euah vnto adam , but in & by some solemne and lawful meanes . and this meane , is that great and ancient power and prerogatiue of parēts . and the law of god hath giuen them this power , not in ciuill contracts and compositions alone , but euen in the beginning and accomplishing of mariages . deut. 7. 3. thou shalt not giue thy daughter vnto his sonne , nor take his daughter vnto thy son . ierem. 29. 6. take wiues for your sonnes , and giue your daughters vnto husbands , that they may beare sonnes and daughters . 1. cor. 7. 36. but if any man thinke that it is vncomlie for his virgin , if shee passe the flower of her age , and need so require , let him doe what he will , he sinneth not , let them be maried . hence it was , that abraham by right of this authoritie , gaue order what wife his seruant should prouide for his son ; thou shalt not take a wife to my sonne of the daughters of the canaanites ; but thou shalt go vnto my countrie , and to my kindred , and take a wife vnto my sonne isaac , gen. 24. 3. 4. sampson , though he was inflamed with the loue of the womā in timnath , whom he saw to be beautifull in his eyes , yet hee durst not take her to his wife , till she was giuen him of his parents , iudg. 14. it was an expresse law of god , that if a man intised a maid that was not betrothed , and lay with her , hee should endow her , and take her to his wife : but how ? marke in what manner the holy ghost proceedeth , if her father refuse to giue her to him , he shall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins , exod. 22. 16. 17. deut. 22. 28. 29. in which text , moses plainly teacheth , that the consent of the two parties is not sufficient , no not though they haue had societie together , vnlesse they haue the free cōsent of their parents also . in like maner it was ordained by god , numb . 30. 4. 5. 6. that if a woman vowed a vow vnto the lord , being in her fathers house , & her father hearing it , holdeth his peace concerning her , that is , approueth her vow by winking at it , her vow shall stand . but if her father disallow her , that is , giueth no approbation or consent vnto the vow made , it shall be of no value , and the lord wil forgiue her , because her father consented not . now , if the vow of children made vnto god , and pertaining to his worship , cannot be ratified without the parents approbation ; of how much lesse force shall any priuate contract or mariage be , without their allowance ? the second argument is taken from the light of nature , and it is gathered by proportion on this manner : a son priuilie alienateth and selleth away his fathers lands , either in whole or in part . the question is , whether this alienation be good in law , yea or no ? answere is , no. and why ? because the land did not belong to the son , but was part of his fathers substance . in like manner , a son alienates himselfe , and is betrothed to a woman , to marrie her without his parents knowledge : is this act of the son warrantable and sound ? by no meanes ; for the son in respect of his body , is part of the fathers goods , and may not be alienated from him without consent . a notable reason hereof we find in iob 1. for when god had giuen satan power to destroy and spoile all iobs goods , and whatsoeuer he had , the diuell doth not only touch the wealth of iob , but his children also , as a part of his substance . in this respect the iewes were permitted by god to sell their children . exodus 21. 7. againe , for the accomplishment of mariage , there must needs be a mutuall donation , betweene the spouse and the espoused . and what is that which is mutually giuen ? surely their persons , or rather their bodies each to other , for so paul saith , 1. cor. 7. 2. let euery man haue his wife , and let euery woman haue her owne husband . but by whom is this donation to be made ? by sons and daughters that are in the familie , vnder the iurisdiction of their parents ? it may not be ; for nature her selfe taketh it for granted , that he which is not at his own libertie , cannot yeeld to the giuing of himselfe . the donation therefore remaines in the right of the parent , in as much as the wil & consent of the child , ought to depend vpon his wil and consent , to whom god hath giuen power and authoritie in this behalfe . in the third place , let the iudgement of the ancient church be obserued . ambrose , in his first booke of the patriarch abraham , chap. 9. requires this consent in mariages , which he saith is so equall and agreeable to nature , that euē the poets acknowledged the same . for which purpose he reciteth two verses out of the grecian poet euripides , in his tragedie called andromacha , wherin in when orestes desired to marrie hermion , she frames him this answere , that the matter of her mariage wholly depended vpon the pleasure and authoritie of her father , & was not in her owne power or libertie . innocentius , who was both a pope and martyr , in his decretall epistles , so strictly requireth consent of parents , as where it is wanting , he concludes the mariage to be void . in the coūcell of lateran , it was decreed that clandestine contracts & secret mariages , made and vndertaken betweene partie and partie , should be holden as vnlawfull as mariages in those degrees of consanguinitie and affinitie , which are forbidden by god. tertullian saith , that in this world the sonne cannot * rightly and lawfully marrie without the allowance of his father . basil in an epistle to amphilochius bishop of iconium , affirmeth ; that mariages which are made without them which haue power ouer the parties , are fornications , and therefore that they which are ioyned together in mariage , while their parents or masters liue , are in no sort free from imputation of sin , vntill they haue approbation from them , for then mariage is ratified & confirmed , when they haue yeelded allowance thereunto . the second action touching the consummation of mariage , is the action of the minister . and that is the blessing or sanctification thereof , which is a solemne worke , wherby the minister pronouncing the parties contracted to be man and wife before the whole congregation , commendeth them and their estate vnto god by solemne prayer . this solemne sanctification is grounded vpon the practise of god himselfe , who hauing giuen euah to adam , blessed them , saying , increase and multiplie , gen. 2. 22. and 1. 27. for that which god then gaue , the minister standing in his roome , now prayeth may be giuen to the man and wife . yea it is agreeable to the generall rule of the apostle , let all things bee done decently and in order , 1. cor. 14. 40. now that this action is to be approued and vsed in the church , appeares by these reasons . i. mariage as it is a publike action , so it is after a sort a spirituall and diuine ordinance , whereby it differeth from the contract : for the contract being meerely ciuill , as it standeth by consent of men , so by the same consent , it may bee broken and dissolued , but with mariage it is otherwise . ii. marriage is the seminarie of the church and common-wealth . iii. it was the practise of y e primitiue church . tertullian speaking of the marriage of christians with christians , acknowledgeth himselfe not to bee able sufficiently to declare the happines of that coniunction which is made by the church , consecrated by prayers & * solemne seruice , witnessed by the angels , and ratified by god himselfe . nicephorus reporteth of one synesius , who auouched that god & the lawes , and the holy hand of thesphylus had giuen him a wife . ambrose saith , that mariage ought to be sāctified , with the vaile wherewith the priest was wont to couer the bride and the bride-groome in the publike congregation , and with his blessing . the third and last action belonging to the accomplishment of this estate , is , that of the parties themselues , whereby the bride is in decent and modest manner , brought vnto the house and home of the bride-groome . it is the law of this estate published by god himselfe in paradise , that the man , euen in respect of habitation , should leaue father and mother and cleaue to his wife , gen. 2. 24 , heere question is moued , whether mariage is to be solemnized with mirth and feasting . answ. i. it is lawfull and warrantable to vse feasting and mirth at mariages , because these be things indifferent , and wee haue examples thereof in the scriptures . laban made a feast at the wedding of iacob and rachel , and inuited all the men of the place to it , gen. 29. 22. christ himselfe did approue the resort of people to the mariage at cana in galilee , both by his presence , and by that honorable gift of sixe water-pots of the best wine , ioh. 2. 2. 7. 8. ii. it is not only lawfull , but conuenient and fit to be done , if there be abilitie ; according to the commendable custome of the place & countrie wherin men do dwell ; so as in the vse thereof , these cautions bee obserued . first , that in mirth and merry-making , there be care had that nothing be done which is dishonest , prophane , or of ill report . philip. 4. 8. whatsoeuer things are honestpure of good report , thinke on these things . secondly , that ioy in them be mixed and moderated with the feare of god , without which laughter and reioycing is meere madnesse , eccles. 2. 2. thirdly , that it bee performed in a moderate and sober vse of the creatures , without riot & excesse . thus we reade that at the great feast of ahashuerosh , it was appointed by the king himself , that they should drink orderly , & none might compel another to drinke more then he thought conuenient , ester 1. 8. and where weddings are kept contrary to these directions , they are not feasts celebrated vnto god , but vnto y e diuell ; which also may be said of all other festiuall meetings . and so much touching the point of mariage , in which this is to be remembred for a cōclusion , that where there is generally a nullitie in the contract , or a separation following vpon it , there is also a nullity in regard of the consummation of mariage . chap. 9. of the duties of married persons . thus farre haue we proceeded in the doctrine of marriage ; and now we come to the duties which they who bee maried are to performe each to other . these are principally two : cohabitation , and communion . cohabitation is their quiet and comfortable dwelling together in one place , for the better performance of mutuall duties . 1. cor. 7. 10. and to the married command i , not i but the lord , let not the wife separate her selfe from her husband : vers . 12. but to the remnant i say , not the lord , if any brother haue an vnbeleeuing wife , and she be content to dwell with him , let him not forsake her : vers . 13. and the wife which hath an vnbeleeuing husband , which is content to dwell with her , let her not forsake him . 1. pet. 3. 7. likewise let the men dwell together , as becōmeth them that haue knowledge ; giuing honor to the woman as to the weaker vessell , euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life , that your prayers be not interrupted . this dutie must bee kept especiallie the first yeare of mariage , deut. 24. 5. when a man taketh a wife , hee shall not go on warfare , neither shall be charged with any busines , but shall bee free at home one yeare , & reioyce with his wife which he hath taken . and the ground of this commandement , no doubt , is , that they might learne to know one anothers cōditions , and that they might worke a setled affection one towards another , which afterward vpon no occasion might bee changed . yet they may bee absent each from other in two cases : first , vpon mutuall consent for a time , for the performing of some busines , that is requisite for the familie , prou. 7. 19. for mine husband is not at home , he is gone a far iourney : at the appointed time he will returne againe . secondly , the like absence is allowed , when some great and weightie affaires either in the church or common-wealth are in hand , 2. sam. 11. 9. 10. but vriah slept at the doore of the kings palace , with all the seruants of his lord , and went not downe to his house ? v. ii. then vriah answered dauid ; the arke , and israel , and iudah dwell in tents , and my lord ioab , and all the seruants of my lord abide in the open field ; shall i then go into my house to eate , and drinke , and lie with my wife ? by thy life , and by the life of my soule , i will not do this thing . hence ariseth a question : what if after mariage consummate , there grow vpon one of the parties a contagious disease that cannot be cured , but is so lothsome , that the other whole partie cannot endure cohabitation at all ? answ. both the mariage it selfe , and the dutie of dwelling together , ought to continue firme and sure notwithstanding : yet so as the sound partie neither may , nor ought in good conscience , to desire coniunction with the other , whereby he , or she may bring infection vpon themselues , and consequently hurt their children , and indanger the common-wealth . but if either of the parties haue not the gift of continencie , nor cannot abstaine ; they must sue for it vnto god in earnest prayer , who will giue it vnto them . for there god hath called a man or woman to continencie , where they be necessarily hindred from the vse of the ordinarie and lawfull remedie of the contract . the contrarie to cohabitation is desertion . desertion is , when one of the married folkes , vpon a wilfull , and obstinate mind of their owne head , departeth from the other , without a iust , and necessarie cause . touching this point , there bee sundrie cases expounded . i. case . suppose that an husband which is an vnbeleeuer , or an heretike in the foundation , of his owne accord , vpon detestation of true religion , quite forsakes the beleeuing wife , and denies any more to dwell with her ; what is to be done ? answ. all good meanes must bee first vsed to bring the infected partie to repentance ; and when none will succeed , but the case remaineth desperate , then mariage is dissolued on his part , and the beleeuing wife is free to marrie another . so saith the apostle , 1. cor. 7. 15. if the vnbeleeuing partie depart , let him depart ; a brother or a sister is not in subiection in such things ; but god hath called vs vnto peace . in which words obserue a twofold reason : i. he that is at libertie may marrie another ; now the beleeuing partie forsaken , is at libertie ; because hee is not in subiection in such things : therefore he may marrie another . ii. god hath called vs vnto peace , saith paul , and this peace cannot be kept , if the beleeuing partie forsaken cannot containe , vnlesse he marrie . ambrose vpon the place saith , that mariage cannot stand firme , which is separated from the worship and seruice of god ; and therefore it is no sinne in the partie that is for saken for gods cause , to be married to another ; and the vnbeleeuer departing , sinneth both against god , and against the law of wedlock , because he denies to remain in that estate , in regard of religion . therefore hee breakes the couenant of mariage , and the other is not bound in this case to keepe touch with him . the master of the sentences , saith , that the beleeuing partie in this case , is not bound to follow the vnbeleeuer when hee departeth , but while hee liues may marrie another . augustine affirmeth , that euen the wife which is ioyned to her husband in lawfull societie , if shee will not abide with her christian husband , because he is a christian , may be forsaken and left , without sin . and it is far better that the couenant should be dissolued , that man and wife haue made each with other , then that the couenant which man hath made with god. the people of israel being in affliction , were constrained to break the former made with strange women , that they might keepe the latter , ezra 10. 11. 19. it is alledged , that the vnbeleeuing partie may haply repent , and then to make a dissolution is in vaine . but i say , that it is as likely that he will neuer repent , and therefore there is cause that the knot should be dissolued . againe , it is lawfull ( say some ) to make a diuorce out of the case of adulterie . answ. the belieuing partie which is forsaken , is not the cause of the diuorce , but is a patient of the separation , wrongfully made by the vnbeleeuer . and christ where he mentioneth the case of adulterie , matth. 19. speaketh of an equall mariage , whereas paul speakes of an vnequall . ii. case . what if there fall out a desertion betweene two married folkes , which are both beleeuers ? answ. the faultie person , who is the cause of this desertion , is to be forced by course of ciuill , and ecclesiasticall censure , to performe his , or her dutie . vpon which proceeding , if he remaine obstinate and peruerse in will ; the other must in patience , & earnest prayer vnto god , waite the time , vntill his mind may be changed , and he made to relent by the order of the magistrate . but if the one of them , by iust occasion of feare , be compelled to depart from the other ; and cannot returne againe without apparent danger of life ; in this case they are not bound to returne ; but the delinquent partie is to remaine solitarie , till they be instructed and made willing to doe their duties : and in the meane while , the partie innocent must be resolued that god hath called him or her to single life . againe , be it that the one is resolutely vnwilling to dwell with the other , and thereupon flies away without any fault of the other ; if the thing after a long space bee sufficiently knowne before-hand , and all possible meanes haue been vsed , to reclaime the guiltie person ; yea being called , he doth not personally appeare before the iudge , to yeeld a reason of the fact ; after publike and solemne declaration made , the minister vpon such desertion , may pronounce the mariage to be dissolued . for he that vpon malice flieth away from his mate , is to bee holden in the same termes with an vnbelieuer , who departs vpon detestation of religion , and the seruice of god , 1. tim. 5. 8. howbeit , if the place whither he is fled , be vnknowne , and vpon his flight there be found some fault in the plaintiffe , she is not to be heard , or set at libertie by the iudge in this case , though shee pretend want of the gift of continencie . but suppose he that fled come againe vnlooked for , and requires his spouse ; then in case the former course hath not bin taken , nor iudgement giuen against him , they may be reconciled and come together againe . if it hath , and matters be concluded , hee is not vpon his returne to bee heard , but rather seuerely punished . like vnto desertion , is malicious and spitefull dealing of married folkes one with the other . malicious dealing is , when dwelling together , they require each of other intolerable conditions : and when the one doth not regard nor relieue the other , being in danger or extremity , as is meet . for this is as much as to betray one anothers estate and life to their vtter enemies . heere it may be demanded , what a belieuer should do , who is in certaine and imminent danger , either of losse of life , or breach of conscience , if they both abide together ? answ. i. this certaine danger hath his originall , either from one that is a stranger , or from one of the parties : if from a stranger , then the husband either takes vpon him the defence of his belieuing wife , or not ; if he doth , then she ought to abide with him . if not , she may depart and prouide for her owne safetie . ii. againe , if the husband threatneth hurt , the belieuing wife may flie in this case ; and it is all one , as if the vnbelieuing man should depart . for to depart from one , and driue one away by threats , are aequipollent . neither may this seeme strange vnto any , that the belieuer in such case is allowed to depart . for a husband that is a christian is married two waies : first with christ , and secondly with his wife . the former mariage is made in baptisme , and is a more holy coniunction , then is the latter . therfore when these two cannot stand together , but one of them must needs be dissolued ; the latter must rather be left then the former . againe , if the belieuer should remaine with the vnbelieuer , she should haplie be vrged sometimes , in case of danger vpon infirmitie , to deny christ , & make ship wracke of faith and good conscience ; which may in no sort be done of either partie : and therefore separation is to be made rather in this society , then that the cōiunction with christ should not stand firme , and continue . it is alledged , that if this be so , then the belieuing wife forsakes the vnbelieuing husband , which she may not do . answ. she forsakes him not finally , but leaues him for a time . againe , the desertion is not made by the person , which giueth place for the time , but by him in whom is the cause of the desertion ; euen as he is not to be termed a schismatike , which separateth himself , but hee in whom is the cause of the schisme . againe , it is obiected , that he which flieth leaues his calling ; and euery man must abide in his calling ; according to the rule of the apostle , 1. cor. 7. 20. answ. there is a double calling ; the generall , standing in the worship of god ; the particular , as the calling of mariage , or of single life . when these two callings cannot stand together , the latter must giue place to the former , luk. 14. 26. if any man come to me , & hate not his father , and mother , and wife , and children , and brethren , and sisters ; yea and his owne life also , he cannot be my disciple . iii. case . when the husband is perpetually absent from the wife , what is to be done ? answ. if he be absent either because he is in captiuitie , or vpon malice , or feare , or any such like cause ; the wife must rest in expectation of his returne , till she hath notice of his death , either by sufficient testimonie , or by apparant likelihoods . now in the want of testimonies , and coniectures in this behalfe , if the partie forsaken cannot certainly determine , that the absence was made vpon an euill mind ; some haue thought that it behoueth her to expect his comming again for the space of foure years ; others of fiue ; some of seuen , some of ten yeares ; after which time , she is free , and may marrie another man. and if the partie do haplie returne againe after some long space of time , who was probablie thought to haue been dead , the latter ma●iage vndertaken vpon necessarie ignorance of such an euent , may be dissolued ; and it shall not be imputed to either partie , considering it fell out not by their fault , but only by accident . now if the question bee of wilfull and affected absence , the same is to be determined concerning that , which hath bin said before touching the point of desertion . chap. 10. of the communion of married folkes , and of due beneuolence . the cōmunion of man & wife , is that dutie , whereby they do mutually and willingly communicate , both their persons , & goods each to other , for their mutuall helpe , necessitie and comfort , ephes. 5. 28. so ought mē to loue their wiues as their own bodies ; he that loueth his wife , loueth himselfe . this dutie consisteth principally in the performance of special beneuolēce one to another , & that not of courtesie , but of due debt , 1. cor. 7. 3. let the husband giue vnto the wife due beneuolence , and likewise also the wife vnto the husband . due beneuolence must be shewed with a singular and entire affection one towards another ; and that three waies principally . first , by the right and lawfull vse of their bodies , or of the marriage-bed , which is indeed an essentiall dutie of mariage . the mariage-bed signifieth that solitarie and secret societie , that is betweene man and wife alone . and it is a thing of it owne nature indifferent ; neither good nor bad ; and so paul numbereth it amongst indifferent things , 1. cor. 7. 27. art thou bound vnto a wife ? seeke not to be loosed : art thou loosed from a wife ? seeke not a wife . wherfore the church of rome erreth two contrarie waies . first , in that it maketh mariage to be a sacrament , and so euerie action of it , to be of the owne nature good . secondly , in that they prohibite mariage of certaine parties , and the reason of the prohibition may seeme to be this ; that they thinke this secret comming together of man and wife to be filthines . this was the sentence of syricius , that filthie pope of rome ; who determined that mariage was the vncleannesse of the flesh , and to that purpose abused the words of the apostle , rom. 8. 8. affirming , that they which are in the flesh , that is , in the estate of matrimonie , cannot please god. yea and after that mariage was condemned by them , some began to detest and hate women , as ephraim the syrian , of whō ecclesiasticall stories make mention . and the councell of trent is of the same iudgement . for whereas it opposeth mariage and chastitie ; it plainly determineth that in mariage there is no chastitie . this comming together of man and wife , although it be indifferent , yet by the holy vsage thereof , it is made a holy and vndefiled action , hebr. 13. 4. mariage is honorable among all , and the bedde vndefiled . and it is ( as all other creatures and ordinances of god are ) sanctified by the word & praier , 1. tim. 4. 3. — forbidding to marry , &c. v. 4. — and nothing ought to be refused : — for it is sanctified by the word of god , & praier . in which place it is to be obserued , how the apostle applieth the point of sanctification directly to mariage . the word of god giueth direction to married folkes two wayes . first , by giuing them warrant , that they may lawfully do this action ; because whatsoeuer is not done of faith ( which faith must be grounded on gods word ) is a sin . secondly , by prescribing the right and holy manner of doing the same . the holy maner stands in these particulars . first , that it be done in moderation . for euen in wedlocke excesse in lusts is no better then plaine adulterie before god. this is the iudgement of the ancient church , that intemperance , that is , immoderate desire euen betweene man and wife , is fornication . secondly , that it be vsed in an holy abstinence . abstinence from this secret societie , must be vsed in two cases . first , while the woman is in her flowers , leuit. 18. 19. thou shalt not go to a woman to vncouer her shame , as long as shee is put apart for her disease . and it is made one of the properties of a good man , not to lie with a menstruous woman , ezek. 18. 6. secondly , in the time of a solemne fast , when some grieuous calamitie is imminent . then they are to giue themselues ( by mutuall consent ) to fasting and prayer , 1. cor. 7. 5. defraud not one another , except it be with consent for a time , that you may giue your selues to fasting and prayer : and againe come together , that satan tempt you not for your incontinencie . 2. sam. 11. 11. then vriah answered dauid , the arke , and israel , and iudah dwell intents : and my lord ioab , and the seruants of my lord abide in the open fields : shall i then go into mine house to eate and drinke , and lie with my wife ? by thy life , and by the life of thy soule , i will not do this thing . zach. 12. 12. the familie of the house of dauid shall mourne apart , and their wiues apart ; the familie of the house of nathan apart , and their wiues apart , &c. next vnto the word , this action may be sanctified by prayer , for a blessing vpon it . children are the gift of god , and therfore married folkes are not only to vse the meanes , but also to pray for the obtaining of them , psal. 113. 9. he maketh the barren woman to dwell with a familie , and to be a ioyfull mother of children . psal. 127. 3. behold children are the inheritance of the lord , and the fruit of the wombe his reward . examples for this purpose are these , gen. 25. 21. isaac prayed vnto the lord for his wife , because shee was barren , and the lord was intreated of him ; and rebekah his wife conceiued . 1. sam. 1. 26. 27. and she said , oh my lord , as thy soule liueth , my lord , i am the woman that stood with thee here , praying vnto the lord. vers . 27. i prayed for this child , and the lord hath giuen me my desire , which i asked of him . now the fruits , which are reaped and inioyed by this holy vsage of the mariage bed , are three . i. the hauing of a blessed seed . deut. 28. 1. if thou shalt obey diligently the voice of the lord thy god , &c. blessed shall be the fruit of thy bodie , and the fruit of thy ground . which also is called the seed of god , being begot in an holy maner , mal. 2. 15. and did not he make one ? yet had he abundance of spirit : and wherefore one ? because he sought a seed of god : therefore keepe your selues in your spirit , and let none trespasse against the wife of his youth . ii. the preseruation of the bodie in cleannesse , that it may be a fit temple for the holy ghost to dwell in , 1. thess. 4. 3. 4. this is the will of god , euen your sanctification , that euery one of you should know how to possesse his vessell in holines and honor , and not in the lust of concupiscence , euen as the gentiles that know not god. iii. the holy estate of marriage is a liuely type of christ and his church , and this communion of married persons , is also a figure of the coniunction that is betweene him , and the faithfull , hos. 2. 19. i will marrie thee vnto me , for euer ; yea i will marrie the vnto me in righteousnes , in iudgement , in mercie and in cōpassion : i will euen marrie thee vnto me in faithfulnes , and thou shalt know the lord. ephes. 5. 23. for the husband is the wiues head , euen as christ is the head of the church , and the same is the sauiour of his bodie . heere some questions are to be resolued . case . i. whether may mariage be dissolued in the case of barrennesse ? answ. no. for barrennesse is an hidden infirmitie for the most part , and which god hath many times cured , euen when it seemed to be desperate , as in sarah . again , the fruit of the wombe is gods blessing ; and wholly dependeth vpon him . hee therefore that in want of children , reiecteth his wife , whom he hath receiued at the hands of god , offereth wrong euen to god himselfe . case ii. what if either of the married folkes commit fornication , or any sinne of the same kind greater then fornication , as incest , sodomie , lying with beasts , or such like . answ. adulterie and fornication are most grieuous and open crimes , which do breake the very bond and couenant of mariage , prou. 2. 17. and therfore when they are certainly knowne by such persons , they are at no hand to be winked at , but the magistrate is presently to be informed of them . howbeit , if the innocent partie be willing to receiue the adulterer againe , in regard of his repentance ; lest hee should seeme to fauour and maintaine sin , and to bee himselfe a practiser of vncleannesse , he is to repaire to the congregation , and declare the whole matter to the minister , that he may vnderstand the parties repentance , and desire of forgiuenesse . and if the adulteresse hath conceiued , and is in trauell , the husband to auoid the imputation of hauing an heire in bastardie , is to make relation to the church of the repentance of the adulteresse ; or to acquaint some certaine persons therewith , not to the end that she should be punished for the fact , but that they may take notice of a child cōceiued in adultery , whom afterward he may lawfully put off , as none of his . the matter being knowne , the innocent partie may require a diuorcement . for adulterie is such a sin , as doth quite break off not only the vse , but the bond and couenant of mariage , matth. 19. 9. i say therefore vnto you , that whosoeuer shall put away his wife , except it be for whoredome , and marrie another , committeth adulterie , &c. and yet the same bond may be continued , and grow vp againe by the good will and consent of the partie innocent , and consequently they may be reconciled , and dwell together still . 1. sam. 25. 44. now saul had giuen michal his daughter dauids wife , to phalti the sonne of laish , which was of gallim . 2. sam. 3. 14. then dauid sent messengers to ishbosheth sauls sonne , saying , deliuer me my wife michal , which i married for an hundred foreskins of the philistims . the same course may be taken in like cases by the innocent , specially vpon the repentance of the guiltie person . but yet euery man must be left to his owne conscience , and none is to bee compelled to take another , from whom hee may iustly bee separated against his will. now in requiring of a diuorce , there is an equall right and power in both parties , so as the woman may require it as well as the man ; and he as wel as she . the reason is , because they are equally bound each to other , and haue also the same interest in one anothers bodie ; prouided alwaies , that the man is to maintaine his superioritie , and the woman to obserue that modestie which beseemeth her towards the man. after the diuorcement made , it shal be lawful for the harmelesse partie , not hauing the gift of continencie , vpon leaue obtained of the church , and the christian magistrate , to marrie againe . but what then shall become of the partie offending ? answ. if vpon the hazard of his conscience in want of the remedie , any libertie of second mariage , bee to bee granted vnto him by the church or ciuill magistrate ; ( as indeed here in england there is not ; ) diuers restraints , in this case , must be obserued . first , no such libertie is to be granted , so long as the matter remaines vncertaine , whether they may be reconciled , specially while the partie innocent liueth in single life . secondly , it must euidently appeare , that the said offending partie hath earnestly rpented him of his sin , before he can either be receiued into the church , or admitted to a second mariage . thirdly , this liberty is not to be granted him either presently , or vnaduisedly ; but vpon frequent and serious admonition , rather to giue himselfe to mourning and lamentation , and still to remaine alone , then to desire againe to enioy the benefit of that state , which he hath alreadie so shamefully abused . so much of the first way of performance of due beneuolence . the second way is , by cherishing one another : ephes. 5. 29. no man euer hated his owne flesh , but nourisheth and cherisheth it , as christ also doth the church . this cherishing is the performing of any duties , that tend to the preseruing of the liues one of another . wherefore they are freely to cōmunicate their goods , their coūsel , their labors each to other ; for the good of themselues and theirs . the third way is , by an holy kind of reioicing and solacing themselues each with other , in a mutuall declaration of the signes and tokens of loue and kindnesse . prou. 5. 18. reioyce with the wife of thy youth : vers . 19. let her be as the louing hind , and pleasant wild goat : let her breasts satisfie thee at all times , and delight in her loue continually . cantic . 1. 1. let him kisse me with the kisses of his mouth , for thy loue is better them wine . gen. 26. 8. so after he had bin there a long time , abimelek king of the philistims , looked out at a window , and loe , hee saw isaak sporting with rebekah his wife : then abimelek called isaak and said ; loe , shee is of a suretie thy wife . esay 62. 7. as a yong man marrieth a virgin , so shall thy sonnes marrie thee ; and as a bridegroome is glad of the bride , so shall thy god reioyce ouer thee . this reioycing and delight is more permitted to the man , then to the woman ; and to them both , more in their yong yeares , then in their old age . chap. 11. of the husband . married folkes are either husbād or wife . the husband is he which hath authoritie ouer the wife ; hereupon in scripture he is called the guide of her youth , prou. 2. 17. and they twaine being but one flesh , he is also the head ouer his wife . the duties of the husband towards the wife , are these : i. to loue her as himselfe : eph. 5. 33. let euery one loue his wife euen as himselfe . gen. 24. 67. afterward isaak brought her vnto the tent of sarah his mother ; and hee tooke rebekah and she was his wife , and he loued her : so isaak left mourning for his mother . note , how the loue of the husband to the wife , mitigates sorrow for the death of the mother . he is to shew this loue in two things : first in protecting her from danger , gen. 20. 16. and vnto sarah he said , behold i haue giuen 1000. shekels of siluer vnto thy brother : behold he is the couering of thine eies amongst all that are with thee . let it be knowne amongst all , & be thou instructed . 1. sam. 30. 5. dauids two wiues were taken prisoners also , ahinoam the izreelite , and abigail the wife of nabal the carmelite : v. 8. then dauid asked counsell of the lord saying ; shall i follow after this companie , ? shall i ouertake them ? and hee answered him , follow , for thou shalt surely ouertake them , and recouer all . secondly , in regarding her estate as his owne , and prouiding maintenance for her , both for his life time , and as much as he may , for time to come after his death . ephes. 5. 28. so ought men to loue their wiues , as their owne bodies : he that loueth his wife loueth himselfe ; vers . 29. for no man yet hated his owne flesh , but nourisheth it , &c. exod. 21. 10. if he take him another wife , he shall not diminish her food , her rayment , and recompence of her virginitie . ruth . 3. 9. vnto whom he said , who art thou ? which said ; i am ruth thine handmaid , spread therefore the wing of thy garment ouer thine handmaid ; for thou art the kinsman . ii. to honor his wife : 1. pet. 3. 7. giuing honor to the woman . this honor stands in three things : first , in making account of her , as his companion , or yoke-fellow . for this cause , the woman , when she was created , was not takē out of the mans head , because she was not made to rule ouer him ; nor out of his feet , because god did not make her subiect to him as a seruant ; but out of his side , to the end that man should take her as his mate . secōdly , in a wise & patiēt bearing or couering of her infirmities , as anger , waywardnes and such like , in respect of the weaknes of her sexe , 1. pet. 3. 7. giuing honor to the woman , as vnto the weaker vessell , seeing yee are heires together of the grace of life , that your prayers bee not hindred . thirdly , by suffering himselfe sometimes to be admonished or aduised by her . it was gods commandement to abraham concerning sarah his wife ; let it not be grieuous in thy sight for the child , and for thy bond-woman : in all that sarah shall say vnto thee , heare her voice ; for in isaak shall thy seed be called , gen. 21. 12. thus elkanah was willing to subscribe vnto his wife annaes aduice , for her tarrying at home till the child was weaned , 1. sam. 1. 23. and elkanah her husband said vnto her , do what seemeth thee best : tarrie vntill thou hast weaned him : only the lord accomplish his word . hereupon the heathen philosopher said , that the master of the familie exerciseth ( after a sort ) a power tyrannical ouer his seruants , a power regall ouer his children ; because kings are fathers of their cōmon-weales : but in respect of his wife , he exerciseth a power aristocraticall , not after his owne will , but agreeable to the honor and dignitie of the married estate ; and consequently , that he ought not in modestie to challenge the priuiledge of prescribing and aduertising his wife in al matters domesticall , but in some to leaue her , to her owne will and iudgement . heere question is moued , whether the husband may correct the wife ? answ. though the husband be the wiues head , yet it seemeth he hath no power nor libertie granted him in this regard . for we reade not in the scriptures , any precept or example to warrant such practise of his authoritie . he may reproue & admonish her in word only , if he seeth her in fault . for , thus we reade , that iacob censured his wife , being impatient , euen in anger , gen. 30. 2. am i in gods stead , which hath withholden from thee , the fruit of the wombe ? and iob reproued his wife , iob 2. 10. thou speakest like a foolish woman . what ? shall we receiue good at the hand of god , and not receiue euill ? but hee may not chastise her either with stripes , or stroks . the reason is plaine ; wiues are their husbands mates ; and they two be one flesh . and no man will hate , much lesse beat his owne flesh , but nourisheth and cherisheth it , ephes. 5. 29. againe , it is the commandement of god , that man should not trespasse against the wife of his youth , malac. 2. 15. chrysostome saith , it is the greatest reproch for any man , that can bee , to beate his wife . plutarch in the life of cato the censor , affirmeth , that he which smiteth his wife , doth all one , as if he should lay violent hands vpon the sacred images of the gods , which was counted an high degree of offence among the heathen . it is alledged , husbands are cōmanded so to loue their wiues , as christ doth his church ; now christ chastiseth his church , with strokes ; & therefore so may the husband his wife . answ. as christ doth entirely loue his church , so hee may also chastise the same , because hee is not only the husband , but also absolute lord and king of his church : so is not the husband absolute ouer the wife . but his authority ouer the wife , is after a sort ciuill , as is the authoritie of the magistrate ouer his people . ans. it is not so . for the magistrate hath in his hand the power of the sword , by which power he inflicteth punishment in case of offence . but the husband can challenge to himselfe no such power : yea it is flatly forbidden in the ciuil law , that he should scourge or strike his wife . neuerthelesse , if she grow to extremities , and be desperately peruerse , so as there be no hope of amendment ; then the magistrate may be informed , who to preuent scandals , and to prouide for publike peace , both ought and may assigne vnto her necessary correction , and punishment according to her desert . now the husband that hath a wife so stubborne and peeuish , must beare it , if it may be borne , as the portion of his crosse laid vpon him by god. and in this case , if he be impatient , he may in some sort be pardoned and pitied , but he is not wholly to be excused . chap. 12. of the wife . the wife is the other married person , who being subiect to her husband , yeeldeth obedience vnto him . touching the subiection of the wife , the word of god mētioneth it in sundrie places . rom. 7. 2. the woman which is in subiection to the man , is bound by the law to the man , while he liueth . ephes. 5. 24. as the church is in subiection to christ , euen so let the wiues bee to their husbands in euery thing . colos. 3. 18. wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands , as it is comely in the lord. 1. tim. 2. 12. i permit not a woman — to vsurpe authoritie ouer the man. and it was a law established by god immediately after the fal , gen. 3. 16. vnto the woman he said , i wil greatly increase , &c. and thy desire shal be subiect to thine husband , and he shall rule ouer thee . indeed the daughter , according to the ciuill law , euen when shee is married is * in the power of her father , and not of her husband . but this is directly against the law of moses , and crosseth the law of nature , leuit. 22. 12. 13. numb . 30. 13. now the duties of the wife , are principally two . the first is , to submit her selfe to her husband ; and to acknowledge and reuerence him as her head in all things . gen. 20. 16. likewise abimelech said vnto sarah ; behold thy brother , that is , thy husband , whom thou callest thy brother , is the vaile of thine eyes to all that are with thee . as if he should say , thy husband is thy head , and hath power ouer thee , and thou oughtest to reuerence him . for of ancient times , the wife was couered with a vaile in the presence of her husband , in token of subiection to him . thus rebekah at the sight of isaak tooke a vaile , and couered her head therewith , gen. 24. 65. 1. cor. 11. 3. the man is the womans head . ephes. 5. 22. wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands , as vnto the lord ; for the husband is the wiues head , euen as christ is the head of his church . the reason hereof is good . for the wife enioyeth the priuiledges of her husband , and is graced by his honor and estimation amongst men . his nobilitie maketh her noble , though otherwise shee is base and meane ; as contrariwise , his basenesse and low degree , causeth her , though shee bee by birth noble and honorable , to bee by estate base and meane . the second dutie is , to be obedient vnto her husband in all things ; that is , wholly to depend vpon him , both in iudgement and will. for looke as the church yeelds obedience to christ her head , and yeelds her selfe to be commanded , gouerned , and directed by him , so ought the woman to the man. so sarah is said to obey abraham , and to giue him the termes of obedience , shee called him lord , or sir , 1. pet. 3. 6. hence it followeth , that the woman is not to take libertie of wandring , and straying abroad from her owne house , without the mans knowledge & cōsent . 2. king. 4. 22. then she called to her husband and said , send with me , i pray thee , one of the yong men , and one of the asses ; for i will haste to the man of god , and come againe . againe , that shee is to follow her husband , when hee flitteth or departeth from place to place , vnlesse hee forsake either her or christ. to this purpose paul saith hee had power to lead about a wife , being a sister , as well as the rest of the apostles , 1. cor. 9. 5. thus sarah went with abraham into egypt , gen. 12. 11. and out of egypt , gen. 13. 1. and to gerar to soiourne there , gen. 20. 1. 2. 3. thus the wiues of iacob departed with him , from their father laban , gen. 31. 17. contrary to these duties , are the sins of wiues ; to be proud , to be vnwilling to beare the authority of their husbāds ; to chide and braule with bitternes ; to forsake their houses , &c. prou. 27. 15. a continuall dropping in the day of raine , and a contentious woman are alike . vers . 16. he that hideth her , hideth the winde , & she is as the oyle in his right hand , that vttereth it selfe . exod. 4. 26. then zipporah said , o bloodie husband ; because of the circumcision . it was the fault of the leuites concubine , iudg. 19. 2. who played the whore , and went away from him vnto her fathers house to bethlem iudah , and there continued the space of foure moneths . it was the sinne of queene vashi , who refused to come at the kings word , which he had giuen in charge to the eunuches : therefore the king was verie angrie , and his warth kindled in him , ester 1. 12. lastly , to be a cause of griefe to their kindred . thus the proud wiues of esau , the daughters of the hittites , were a griefe of mind to isaak and rebekah , gen. 26. 35. & 27. 46. chap. 13. of the parent . hitherto hath been treated of the first couple , whereof the family cōsisteth , namely , of married folkes . now follow the other ; and they are of two sorts ; either such as , whereby the familie is increased , and multiplied ; or such as are helpes thereunto . those whereby the familie is inlarged , are also of two sorts ; parents and children . parents are they which haue power and authoritie ouer children . the duties of parents are especially two ; one to bring vp their children ; the other to bestow them , when they haue brought them vp . touching education or bringing vp of children , the parents care must bee , both that they may liue , and also that they may liue well , ephes. 6. 4. touching the preseruation of the life of the child , there are many duties required of the parents , specially foure . first , the mother is her selfe to giue the infant sucke , and to wrap it vp in swadling clothes . paul cōmends it for a note of a good wife , to nurse her owne children , 1. tim. 5. 10. thus sarah gaue sucke to isaak , gen. 21. 7. anna nursed samuel , 1. sam. 1. 22. dauid in likelihood was nursed by his mother , psal. 22. 9. thou gauest me hope euen at my mothers breasts . and our sauiour christ was also nursed by marie his mother , luk. 11. 27. and swadled , luk. 2. 7. now the reason hereof is plaine . god hath giuen milke to women that beare children , & hath so appointed , that no meat is more naturall to the child , then the mothers milke . and nature it selfe teacheth this in the course of other creatures . the earth nourisheth that which it bringeth forth . the fruit which the tree beareth is fed by the sap that comes from the root therof . yea amongst the bruit beasts , euen those that be most sauage , as the tigres , do giue sucke vnto the yong ones which they bring forth . yet in case of want of health , or abilitie , or any other iust impediment , the mother may in equity beforborne , and the child committed vnto a nurse . and so we reade that rebekah the daughter of bethuel , and afterward the wife of isaak had a nurse , genes . 24. 59. whose name was deborah , gen. 35. 8. and pharaohs daughter in a case of necessitie , committed moses to be nursed of an hebrew woman , whom she tooke not to be his mother , but a stranger ; and her fact was allowed by god , exod. 2. 7. 9. the second dutie of the parent is , to prouide for his child meate , drinke , and clothing . our sauiour christ saith , that parents euen by the light of nature , though they be euill , will not denie or withhold necessarie food from their children : mat. 7. 9. 10. what man is there among you , that if his son aske him bread , will giue him a stone , or if he aske a fish , will giue him a scorpion ? and paul saith , if there be any that prouideth not for his owne , and namely for them of his houshold , hee denieth the faith , and is worse then an infidell , 1. tim. 5. 8. the third dutie is , when god giueth abilitie & meanes , to lay vp some thing for the future maintenance of the child . 2. cor. 12. 14. — for the children ought not to lay vp for the fathers , but the fathers for the children . prou. 19. 14. house and riches are the inheritance of the fathers . the fourth is , to obserue both the inclination , and the naturall gifts of bodie and mind that are in the child , and accordingly to bestow it in some honest calling & course of life . prou. 20. 11. a child is knowne by his actions , whether his worke be pure and right . in the ecclesiasticall historie , written by ruffinus , it is recorded , that alexander bishop of alexandria , saw a far off , in a place neare to the sea , a companie of children playing together , and in their play imitating himselfe in sundrie ministeriall actions . and whē he had a while viewed them , he perceiued that they examined & baptised one another , according to the solemne order vsed in y ● cōgregation : which thing , whē he had made some of his clergie acquainted withall , and taken order that the children should be sent for , and brought before him , he demanded of them , what sport they vsed , and in what manner they played one with another . the children at first , for feare , denied what they had done , yet vpon further examination they confessed , that they had made athanasius ( who afterward became bishop of the place ) their bishop , and that hee instructed and baptised sundrie of their companie . he further asked both athanasius himselfe , and those which were said to haue been baptised , what questions he asked them , and what answeres they gaue ; and perceiuing by their speeches , that they had framed themselues , though in sporting maner , to the church-proceedings in those actions ; vpon conference had with his clergie , hee determined , that those which had first been asked , and had giuen answere fully , according to the forme vsed in that church , and thereupon baptised , should not be rebaptised . and for athanasius and the other children , which had done the part of ministers in their kind , he sent for their parents , and gaue them great charge that they should be brought vp in learning and religion , that so they might in time be fit for the publike ministerie . the like course we reade to haue been taken by the heathen , for iudgement of the inclination and towardnesse of their children . the athenians made a law , that before children were bestowed in any calling , they should bee first brought into a publike place , where instruments belonging to all sorts of trades were laid ; and look in what kind of instrument any of them tooke most delight , the child was thought to bee most fit for the trade , whereunto that instrument belonged , and afterward applied to the same with good successe . now the parents first and principall care must be for the church ; that those of their children which haue the most pregnant wit , and be indued with the best gifts , be consecrated vnto god , and brought vp in the studie of the scriptures , to serue afterward in the ministerie of the church . thus anna dedicated samuel her son vnto god by vow , 1. sam. 1. 11. and shee vowed a vow , and said , o lord of hostes , if thou wilt — giue vnto thine handmaid a man-child , thē i wil giue him vnto the lord all the daies of his life . and she did according to her vow , and the lord blessed samuel her sonne , who in processe of time became a great prophet . the next point of education of children , is to prouide that they may liue well , and lead a godly life . to this purpose parents must do three things . first , they are to be carefull , that the child , so soone as may bee , after it is borne , bee admitted into the true church of god by baptisme , and haue a fit name giuen vnto it . secondly , they are to endeuour to sow the seeds of godlinesse and religion in the heart of the child , so soone as it comes to the vse of reason and vnderstanding ; and as it growes in yeares , so care must be had that it grow in knowledge and grace . to this purpose is the vow and promise made in baptisme , which parents are bound to call vpon the child to remember , when it comes to yeares . it was the godly care of timothies parents , 2. tim. 3. 14. but continue thou in the things which thou hast learned , knowing of whom thou hast learned them , vers . 15. and that thou hast knowne the holy scriptures of a child , which are able to make thee wise vnto saluation , through the faith which is in christ iesus . this was the commandement of god to the parents of his people , deut. 6. 7. thou shalt rehearse these words which i command thee continually to thy children , and shalt talke of them whē thou tarriest in the house . and vers . 20. when thy sonne shall aske thee in time to come , saying ; what meane these testimonies , and ordinances , and lawes , which the lord our god hath commanded you ? then thou shalt say vnto thy sonne ; we were pharaohs bondmen in egypt , &c. this was obserued by the israelites in the ages ●cceeding : psal. 44. 1. we haue heard with our eares , o god : our fathers haue told vs the workes that thou hast done in their daies in old time . thirdly , the first instruction of children in learning & religion , must be so ordered , that they may take it with delight . for which purpose , they may be sometimes allowed in moderate maner to play , and solace themselues in recreatiōs fitting for their yeares . and if they do amisse in either , they are to bee restrained by the bridle of discipline . first by reproofe in word , and when that wil not helpe , by the rodde of correction . zach. 8. 5. the streets of the citie shall bee full of boyes and girles , playing in the streets thereof . prou. 29. 15. the rod and correction giue wisdome , but a child set at libertie makes his mother ashamed . vers . 17. correct thy son , and he will giue thee rest , and giue pleasures to thy soule . hebr. 12. 9. we haue had the fathers of our bodies which correct vs , and we gaue them reuerence . yet in this point , two extreames are carefully to be auoided ; that the parent be not either too seuere , or too indulgent to the child . for seue●itie paul giues his rule , ephes. 6. 3. parents prouoke not your children to anger , that is , by too much austeritie in gouernmēt . for lenitie , we haue old eli his example , 1. sam. 2. 23. and he said vnto them , why do yee such things ? for of all this people , i heare euill reports of you . doe no more my sonnes , &c. so much for education . the second general dutie of parents , is the bestowing of their children ; this bestowing is , when they knowing their children fit for mariage , not to haue the gift of continencie , do vse their best indeuour to prouide matches for them in time , or at least , do aduise them therunto by themselues or by their friends : 1. cor. 7. 36. if any man thinke it vncomelie for his virgin to passe the flower of her age , and need so require — let them bee married . vers . 38. he that giueth her to mariage , doth well . ierem. 26. 6. take yee wiues — and take wiues for your sonnes , and giue your daughters to husbands , &c. gen. 28. 1. isaak called iacob and blessed him , and charged him and said vnto him ; take not a wife of the daughters of canaan : arise , get thee to padan aram — and thence take thee a wife of the daughters of laban thy mothers brother . iudg. 14. 2. sampson came and told his father and his mother , and said , i haue seene a woman in timnah of the daughters of the philistims ; now therefore giue me her to wife . this dutie is now adaies carelessely neglected of parents ; and the fruit therof is dangerous . for hence it comes to passe , that their children oftentimes do either commit whoredome , or vndertake wicked and vngodly mariages . in the choice of a husband or wife , the parents ought to haue a greater respect vnto pietie and wisedome , then vnto beautie and riches , or any other outward blessings . yet where they all concurre , the partie so qualified is the more thankfully to be entertained . vpon these grounds the priest of prince of midian , gaue his daughter zipporah to moses , and moses agreed to take her , exod. 2. 19. a man of egypt deliuered vs from the philistims , and also drew vs water enough , & watered the sheepe — and moses agreed to dwell with the man , who gaue vnto moses zipporah his daughter . iosu. 15. 16. then caleb said , he that smiteth kiriath-sepher , and taketh it , euen to him will i giue achsah my daughter to wife . yea it is a sinne to marrie only for beautie , without consideration of the better things . thus the old world sinned , whē the sonnes of god saw the daughters of men that they were faire , and tooke them wiues of all that they liked , gen. 6. 2. and sampson , who only vpon the sight of the woman in timnah , of the daughters of the philistims , without further inquirie , desired that she might be giuen him for his wife , iudg. 14. 2. againe , it is meet that parēts should deale moderately with their children in this case , and not vndertake at any hand to force and compel them to marrie this or that partie . this was the iust commendation of rebekahs parents , who though they were idolaters , yet had that regard of equity , that they first called her and asked her consent , before they sent her away with abrahams seruant , to be maried to isaak , gen. 24. 58. now in case the parents faile in their dutie in this regard , the son or daughter may lawfully declare the matter first to their kinsfolke , and afterward ( if need be ) to the minister , or magistrate , and sue for redresse by their means and direction . chap. 14. of the sonne . the sonne is he , who is in subiection to his parents . the duties of a son to bee performed to his parents , are principally two . first to yeeld them obedience , whether they be his naturall parents or otherwise , as his step-father & step-mother , and that while he liueth . eph. 6. 1. children obey your parents in the lord ; for this is right . luke 2. 51. then hee went downe with them , and came to nazareth , and was subiect to them . exod. 18. 19. moses father in law said vnto him , heare now my voice , i will giue thee counsell , and god shall be with thee . ruth 3. 5. and ruth said vnto naomi her mother in law , all that thou biddest me , i wil do . iob 1. 5. and whē the daies of their bāquetting were gone about , iob sent and sanctified them . this obedience must shew it selfe in two things . first in the choyce of a lawfull calling , wherein the child is to be ordered and appointed at the discretion of the parent . secondly in mariage : for in that , the parent is the principall agent and disposer of the child . now although his authoritie be not so great , as that the child is to be forced and compelled by him ; yet the reuerent and dutifull respect which the child ought to beare towards him , ought to be a strong inducement , not to dissent , or renounce his aduice , without great and waightie cause . yea the child must endeuour by all manner of dutifull cariage to ouercome , or at least to mitigate his parents seueritie in that behalfe . now for the daughters : they must yeeld obedience to their parents in all domesticall labours , that they may be skilfull in houshold affaires . thus did the seuen daughters of the priest of midian , accustome themselues to draw water , and fill the troughes to water their fathers sheepe , exod. 2. 16. thus rebekah was seene to come out of her fathers house , with her pitcher vpon her shoulder , and to go downe with it to the well to fill it , and giue drinke to her fathers camels , gen. 24. 16. 17. the second dutie of the sonne , is to recompence his fathers loue , and care ouer him , by relieuing him in case of want , if god giue abilitie , with food and rayment , and other necessaries . herein children must deale with their parents , as the brood of the storke is reported to do with her , by feeding her when she is old ; wherein they doe no more but what shee before hath done vnto them . it is pauls counsell , that childred & nephewes should recompence the kindnes of their kindred in the first place , 1. tim. 5. 4. and therefore to their parents , the head & foūdation of their kindred . when ioseph was in prosperitie , and his father iacob in want , he first gaue him corne freely ; and afterwards sent for him to egypt , and there prouided for him ; in so much as the text saith of him , that he nourished his father and his brethren , and all his fathers house-hold with bread , euen as the mother puts meat into the childs mouth , gen. 47. 12. when naomi the step-mother of ruth was of great yeares , and her strength spent , ruth gathered corne in the haruest for reliefe of them both . yea when boaz gaue her to eate and to drinke , she reserued part of her victuals , & brought it home with her gleanes to refresh her mother , ruth 2. 14. 18. the necessitie of the performance of these duties is so great , that if the sonne neglecteth them , and doth the contrarie , by ill vsage of his parent , either in word or deed , he is worthie of death , euen by moses law : exod. 21. 15. he that smiteth his father or his mother , shall die the death . the law of the first borne of a mans children , that he should haue a greater portion of his fathers goods , then any of the rest of his brethren , is perpetuall , and admits no exception , but only in the case of notorious wickednes . deut. 21. 17. he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the first borne , & giue him a double portion of all that he hath , for he is the first of his strength , and to him belongeth the right of the first borne . this was the law ; yet we reade that ruben lost this prerogatiue , by reason of his incest , and iudah the fourth sonne of iacob had the dignitie of the first borne , gen. 49. 8. thou iudah , thy brethren shall prayse thee — thy fathers sonnes shall bow downe vnto thee . in the church of the old testament , the priuiledge of the first borne was three-fold ; the first of gouernment and royaltie , the second of priesthood , the third of the double portion . and it is probable that this was for the most part ceremoniall , and was accomplished and determined in christ , who was the image of the inuisible god , & the first borne of euery creature , colos. 1. 15. heere two questions are propounded . quest. i. whether is it lawfull for the sonne to make a vow belonging either to religion , or to ciuill conuersation , without the consent of the parent ? answ. a vow so made is not of force to bind the child , but by the law of nature & common equitie , is to be made void . for it is a ruled case , that he which is not his owne man , that is to say , at his owne libertie , but vnder the power of another , cannot bind himselfe . againe , the authoritie of the parent by the law of god is great ; for it alloweth the father to make void the vow of the child pertaining to gods worship , numb . 30. 6. quest. ii. whether is the consent of the parents to be required in the second mariages of their children ? answ. 1. of ancient times , both by * ciuill lawes , & also by imperial constitutions , it was prouided that no widowes , though made free by their former mariages , should make any contract againe , without the good will of their parents . 2. consent in this case , though it be not absolutely necessarie , yet it is to be thought fit and conuenient , because children in some regards exempted from parents authoritie , doe owe notwithstanding the dutie of honor vnto them , by gods expresse commandement , exod. 20. 12. and consequently ought to testifie the same , by being ordered and aduised by them in some sort , euen at the after-bestowing of themselues . hence it is , that * later diuines haue holden vpon good ground ; that the espousals of widowes , who haue some more libertie , then the child first married , being made without their parents knowledge , cannot but incurre iust reprehension , howsoeuer they may stand in force without it . chap. 15. of the master . next vnto parents and children , wherby the family is increased , is a second sort of couples , which are helpes therunto . and they are masters and seruants . the master is a member in the familie , which hath power and beareth rule ouer the seruant . and his dutie stands principally in three things . first , to make a good choice of his seruants ; which is then done , when he inquireth first after such as feare god , and be willing to serue him . paul makes the seruice and feare of god the maine ground of true obedience in seruants , ephes. 6. 5. 6. 7. colos. 3. 22. it was the rule of dauids choice , psal. 101. 6. hee that walketh in the perfect way , he shall serue me . abrahams chiefe seruāt of his house , was a man that feared god , as appeareth , in that he made conscience of his oath , gen. 24. 2. 3. and prayed also for successe in the busines whereabout he was sent . gen. 24. 12. o lord god of my master abraham , i beseech thee send mee good speed this day , and shew mercie to my master abraham . cornelius of caesarea , the captaine of the italian band , had a souldier that daily attended on him , who feared god , and seruants also beside him , to whom hee made knowne the heauenly vision which hee saw , act. 10. 7. secondly , to enioyne them labour , and not to require more of them , then their strength will beare . the master is to rule ouer the seruant in iustice . and then is his cōmandement vniust , whē it will not stād with the course of nature , with the abilitie of his seruant , or with the word of god. therefore he is to require labour at their hāds proportionable to their strength , & yeeld thē sometimes intercession & rest . leuit. 25. 46. ouer your brethen the children of israel , ye shall not rule ouer one another with crueltie . 1. pet. 3. 8. bee pitifull , bee courteous , one beare with another . and for the furtherance of busines , it is conuenient that the master be oftentimes present with the seruāts in their works . prou. 27. 23. be diligent to know the state of thy flock , and take heed to thy heards . the good matron ouerseeth the waies of her houshold , prou. 31. 27. a man of libya being asked , what it was that might make a horse fat ; he answered , the masters eye . thirdly , to recompence the diligence and paines of his seruant , and that three waies . first , by giuing him his due of meat and drinke for the present . the good matron giueth the portion to her houshold , and the ordinary to her maids , prou. 31. 15. secondly , by paying him his hire in the end of his seruice : the labourer is worthie of his wages . luk. 10. 7. well done , good seruant and faithfull ; thou hast been faithfull in little , i will make thee ruler ouer much ; enter into thy masters ioy . mat. 25. 21. heere three caueats are to be obserued . i. that the wages be proportionable to the work . ii. that it be paid in due time , without deferring . so the master of the vine-yard , when euen was come , called his seruants together , to giue thē their hire , mat. 20. 8. iii. that the seruāt be not defrauded of any part of his due . for this is a crying sin ; deut. 24. 15. thou shalt giue him his hire for his day , neither shall the sunne go downe vpon it — lest hee crie against thee vnto the lord , and it bee sinne vnto thee . iam. 5. 4. behold , the hire of the labourers which haue reaped your fields , which is kept backe by fraud , crieth , and the cries of them which haue reaped , are entred into the eares of the lord of hosts . thirdly , if the seruant in time of his seruice be sicke , the masters care must be by all means possible to procure his recouery . equitie must be the rule in these cases ; and masters are to do to their seruants that which is iust and equall . col. 4. 1. now the seruant haplie falles sicke by and in his seruice , and his health yeelds not only profit to his master , but incouragement also to himselfe . the good centurion in case of his seruants sicknesse , tooke the best course to haue him restored , matth. 8. 6. chap. 16. of the seruant . the seruant , is a person in the family subiect vnto his master . the dutie of a seruāt is , faithfully and diligētly to demeane himselfe in the affaires of his master , and to doe seruice vnto him as vnto christ , though he be froward and hard-harted . titus 2. 9. let seruants be subiect to their masters , and please them in all things , not answering againe . ephes. 6. 5. seruants , be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh , with feare & trembling , in singlenes of your hearts , as vnto christ. col. 3. 22. thus iacob serued laban , gen. 31. 38. this twentie yeares haue i bin with thee ; thine ewes and thy goates haue not cast their yong , and the rammes of the flocke haue i not eaten , &c. contrariwise , the seruant must take heed that he doe not his masters businesse negligently , or for fashion sake , or with eye-seruice as a man-pleaser ; that in case of rebuke or controlement , he answere not againe ; lastly , that hee be trustie & withhold his hands from picking , and his heart from deceiuing his master . seruants are of two sorts ; either free , or bond-seruants . a free-seruant is he , whom his master hireth for wages to do him seruice . to him belongs the iust paiment of his hire , and in case of offence , them master hath authoritie to censure and correct him , prouided that in the execution thereof , respect bee had vnto his age , and the correction be vsed with moderation , as if hee were his sonne . a bond-seruant , is a seruant bought for money , and is commonly called a slaue . touching this sort , a question is moued , whether a christian may with safe conscience , haue and vse a man as his slaue ? answ. the power & right of hauing bond-men , in those countries where it is established by positiue lawes , may stand with good cōscience , if it be vsed with moderation . that authoritie in this behalfe is moderate , wherein these seuen caueats be obserued . i. that the master haue not ouer his seruant the power of life and death ; for this takes away the lawful power of the magistrate , to whom only the lord hath committed the sword of iustice . ii. that there be not libertie granted him , to vse his seruant at his owne will and pleasure in all things ; for this was not granted by the law of god to his owne people : exod. 21. 26. if a man smite his seruant or his maid in the eye , and hath perished it , he shall let him go free for his eye : also if he smite out his seruants or his maids tooth , he shall let him go out free for his tooth . iii. that the power be not enlarged to the commanding of things against piety or iustice ; for in these cases a man must rather obey god then man , act. 4. 19. iv. that masters do not take libertie to make separation of those their seruants that be married , the one from the other , or of those that be parents from their children ; considering that god himselfe hath made these societies , and ioyned such persons together , and therefore man may not separate them . v. that the masters do not take libertie to put ouer their seruants to vngodly and vnbelieuing masters , for that is an vnkind and cruell libertie , & may be an apparāt occasion to make the seruant fall away from religion , and renounce the true god. vi. that they do not bind them to perpetuall slauery , & neuer make them free . exo. 21. 5. but if the seruant say thus , i loue my master , my wife and my children , i will not go out free . vii . that the seruitude be not procured and retained by force ; for it is a more grieuous crime to spoile a man of his libertie , then of his riches . now y t the same power limited with these cautions , is lawfull & warrantable in cōsciēce , it appears by these reasons . i. god hath ordained & allowed it , euen by warrant of his owne law : the posteritie of cham was cursed by noah , and condemned to slauerie , gen. 9. 25. and he said , cursed be cham , a seruant of seruants shal he be to his brethren . so were the gibeonites by ioshua , ios. 9. 23. now therefore yee are cursed , and there shall none of you be freed from being bond-men , and hewers of wood , & drawers of water , for the house of my god. so was the theefe , exo. 22. 3. if he had not wherewith to make restitution , then hee should bee sold for his theft . again , those that are ouercome in war may be held captiue , and it is lawful for the conquerer to kill them , & therefore to make them slaues : and if being takē , they be saued from death , they owe all that they haue to them by whom they are saued . ii. the law of god gaue libertie to any mā that would , to make sale of himselfe to another . leuit. 25. 45. of the children of the strangers that are soiourners among you , of them shal ye buy , & of their families that are with you , which they begat in your land , these shall be your possessiō . deut. 15. 12. if thy brother an hebrew sell himself to thee , or an hebrewesse , and serue thee six yeares , euē in the seuenth yeare thou shalt let him go free from thee : and vers . 17. thou shalt take an aule , & pierce his eare through against the doore , and he shall be thy seruant for euer . iii. the mā that is ransommed frō his enemie , is bound to serue as a slaue in liew of thankfulnesse . iv. the examples of the godly in the scriptures . abraham had seruants whom he bought for siluer , gen. 17. 12. euerie manchild of eight daies old among you , shal be circumcised in your generations , as well he that is borne in thine house , as he that is bough with money of any stranger , which is not of thy seed . gen. 24. 35. the lord hath blessed my master abraham wōderfully — for he hath giuen him sheep and beeues , and siluer and gold , & men-seruants and maid-seruants , and camels and asses . v. the apostles do not disallow of such seruāts , but cōmand thē being seruants , & called to the professiō of christianitie in that state , not to change , but to abide in their calling . 1. cor. 7. 21. art thou called being a seruant ? care not for it . it is alledged that such seruitude is against the law of nature . ans. it is indeed against the law of intire nature , as it was before the fall , but against the law of corrupted nature since the fall , it is not . but christ hath purchased liberty to belieuers , coloss. 5. 11. ans. only a spirituall libertie in this life ; & a corporal only in the life to come . for though y ● seruant in regard of faith & the inner man be equal to his master , because in christ iesus there is neither master nor seruāt , bond nor free ; yet in regard of the outward man & ciuill order amongst men , the master is aboue the seruant , and the seruant is , & must be subiect to the master . neuerthelesse where this kind of seruitude is abolished , it is not to be againe receiued or intertained amongst christians , specially considering , it is a far more milde and moderate course to haue hired seruants . if it be said againe , that the heathen philosopher holdeth seruitude to be naturall , wherby some are by birth bond , and others free . i answere , that seruitude proceedeth not of nature , but hath his originall from the lawes of nations , and is a consequent of the fall . for all men by nature are equally & indifferētly free , none more or lesse then others . chap. 17. of the master of the familie or goodman of the house . thus much touching the diuers and seuerall combinations or couples belonging to the state oeconomicall . frō which do arise two persons of a mixt or compounded nature and condition , cōmonly called the goodman , & the goodwife of y e house . the good man or master of the familie , is a person , in whom resteth the priuate and proper gouernment of the whole houshold , and he comes not vnto it by election , as it falleth out in other states , but by the ordinance of god , setled euen in the order of nature . the husbād indeed naturally beares rule ouer the wife ; parents ouer their childrē , masters ouer their seruāts : but that person who by the prouidence of god , hath y e place of an husband , a father , a master in his house , the same also by the light of nature , hath the principality & soueraigntie therein , and he is paterfamilias , the father and chiefe head of the familie : to him therefore the true right and power ouer all matters domestical , of right appertaineth . the duties of the master of the familie , are specially fiue . i. to beare the chiefe stroke , and to be the principal agent , directer and furtherer of the worship of god within his familie . ios. 24. 15. i and my household wil serue the lord. and this he doth partly by praying for & with his houshold , and partly by instructing thē in the holy scriptures , and in the grounds of religiō , that they may grow in knowledge and reape benefit by the publike ministerie . thus god commanded the men of israel to walke in their families . deut. 6. 7. thou shalt rehearse them continually vnto thy children , and shalt talke of them , when thou tariest in thine house , — & when thou liest downe , & when thou risest vp . againe , vers . 20. when thy sonne shall aske thee , — what meane these testimonies , and ordināces & lawes , which the lord our god commanded you ? then thou shalt say vnto thy son , we were pharaohs bondmen in egypt , but the lord brought vs out of egypt , with a mightie hand . this testimony god gaue of abraham before the law was giuen , gen. 18. 19. for i know abraham that he will command his sons , and his houshold after him , that they keepe the way of the lord. and this houshold of abraham was very large , for the holy ghost saies long before , that he had three hundred and eighteene , * that were borne and brought vp in his house , gen. 14. 14. it was in likelihood y e course of salomon which he had learned of his father dauid , and giuen for a rule to al masters of families . prou. 4. 1. heare o children the instruction of a father , and giue eare to learne vnderstanding — for i was my fathers sonne , deare and tender in the sight of my mother , when he taught me and said vnto me , let thine heart hold fast my words . the company of the disciples were the household of christ , and he himselfe did administer all parts of the seruice of god with them and among them . luk. 22. 15. to this purpose * augustine saith , that the master of the familie , doth after a sort , and in his measure performe the dutie of a churchman , or bishop within his house . ii. to bring his familie to y e church or congregation on the sabbath day , to looke that they do religiously there behaue themselues , & after the publike exercises ended , & the congregation is dismissed , to take account of that which they haue heard , that they may profit in knowledge and obedience . act. 10. 24. the day after , they entred into caesarea ; now cornelius waited for them , & had called together his kinsmen & special friends . vers . 33. now therefore ( saith cornelius to peter ) are we all heere present before god , to heare all things that are commanded thee of god. iob 1. 5. and when the daies of their banqueting were gone about , iob sent and sanctified them , & rose vp early in the morning , & offred burnt offerings , &c. 2. king. 4. 23. and he said , wherefore wilt thou go to him to day ? it is neither new moone nor sabbath . for this very cause the fourth cōmandement is giuen first of all & principally to the master of the familie , that he might see the sabbath kept , and be a principal doer in all parts of gods worship therein . exod. 20. 10. in it thou shalt not do any worke , thou nor thy son , nor thy daughter , thy man-seruant , nor thy maid , nor thy cattel , nor thy stranger that is within thy gates . neither is this his care tied only to the sabbath , but vpon other daies besides it , he ought to cause them of his houshold , as much as in him lieth , to repaire to places , where the word of god is preached . commendable was the practise of marie the sister of martha , in this case , who when christ came to her house is said , to sit at his feete and attend vnto his preaching , luk 10. 39. iii. to prouide for his family meat , drinke and clothing , and that they may liue a quiet & peaceable life , 1. tim. 5. 8. pro. 27. 26. the lambs are for thy clothing , and the goats for the price of thy field . v. 27. and let the milke of thy goats be sufficient for thy food , for the food of thy familie , and for the sustenance of thy maids . 1. cor. 9. 9. thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the oxe , that treadeth out the corne : doth god care for oxen ? either saith he it not altogether for our sakes ? matth. 13. 52. euery scribe which is taught vnto the kingdome of heauen is like vnto an housholder , that brings forth out of his treasurie , things both new and old . iv. to keepe order , and to exercise discipline in his house , and that in this manner : in case of offence , when a capitall crime is committed , which incurreth publike censure ; he is not to punish it himselfe , but to bring the offender to the ciuill magistrate , to informe of his fault , that he may haue his desert : it was a course established by the iudicial law , which god gaue vnto moses for his direction in causes criminall among the israelites : deut. 21. 18. 19. 20. if any man hath a son that is stubborne , & disobedient , which wil not hearken vnto the voice of his father , nor the voice of his mother , and they haue chastened him ; then shal his father and his mother take him , and bring him out , vnto the elders of his citie , and vnto the gate of the place where he dwelleth , and shall say vnto the elders of his citie ; this our son is stubborne , and disobedient , and he will not obey our admonition : hee is a rioter , and a drunkard . againe , deut. 13. 6. if thy brother the son of thy mother , or thine own son , or thy daughter , or the wife that lieth in thy bosome , or thy friend which is as thine owne soul , entise thee secretly saying , let vs go and serue other gods ( which thou hast not known , thou , i say , nor thy fathers ) thou shalt not consent vnto him , nor heare , neither shal thine eye pitie , nor shew mercie , nor keepe him secret . zach. 13. 3. and when any shall yet prophesie , his father and his mother that begate him shall say vnto him , thou shalt not liue : for thou speakest lies in the name of the lord : and his father , and his mother that begate him , shall thrust him thorough when he prophesieth . if the fault be of an inferiour nature , and lesser in comparison ; the master of the familie ought to proceed by priuate censure vpon the delinquent partie , sometimes by admonitiō , otherwhiles by correction , and chastisement , according to the quality of the offence , & the condition & state of the person . leuit. 19. 17. thou shalt plainly rebuke thy neighbour , and not suffer him to sin . mat. 1● . 15. if thy brother sinne against thee , go and tell him his fault betweene him and thee alone : if he heare thee not , take yet with thee one or two . prou. 29. 17. correct thy sonne , and he will giue thee rest , and will giue pleasures to thy soule . when admonitions and corrections will not preuaile , the partie must bee brought before the ministers , and gouernours of the church , that they may censure him . matth. 18. 17. if he will not heare them , tell it vnto the church . and the apostle iames giueth order that the ministers of the church should come to those that are sicke , and pray for them , iames 5. 14. which if they doe in case of infirmitie ; then they are also to be sought vnto , in case of errour and offence committed , for redresse . but when none of all these meanes will do good ; if the partie be a seruant , his master may , and ought to remoue him . psal. 101. 7. there shall no deceitfull person dwell within mine house ; he that telleth lies shall not remaine in my sight . ioh. 8. 35. the seruant abideth not in the house for euer . v. to giue intertainment to those that are strangers , & not of the familie , if they be christians , and belieuers ; but specially to the ministers of the word . rom. 12. 13. giuing your selues to hospitalitie . hebr. 13. 2. be not forgetfull to lodge strangers : for hereby some haue receiued angels into their houses vnawares . this duty the woman of shunem & her husband performed vnto the prophet elisha , 2. king. 4. 10. let vs make him a little chāber , i pray thee , with walles , and let vs set him a bed there , and a table , and a stoole , and a candlesticke , that he may turne in hither , when he commeth to vs. these are the duties . heere if it be demanded , whether the master of a familie is alway , and necessarily bound in his owne person to doe all these things ? i answere , that if there be iust and necessarie cause , either in respect of his owne inabilitie , or in regard of publike imployment , vpon a lawfull calling , whereby he is hindred , so as he cannot do any of them himselfe , at some times ; it is lawfull for him to haue , and vse a deputie . this our sauiour christ teacheth in effect , when he saith , who then is a faithfull seruant , and wise , whom his master hath made ruler ouer his houshold , to giue them meate in season ? mat. 24. 25. thus abraham had a steward of his house , eliezer of damascus , gen. 15. 2. and he performed the waightiest matters , that concerned the establishment , and continuance of familie , not by himselfe , but by his steward , as namely the choice of a wife for his sonne isaak , gen. 24. 2. therefore abraham said vnto his eldest seruant of his house , which had the rule ouer all that hee had ; put now thine hand vnder my thigh , &c. thus pharaoh king of egypt had ioseph , gen. 39. 4. so ioseph found fauour in his sight , and serued him , and hee made him ruler of his house , and put all that he had in his hands . chap. 18. of the mistresse of the familie , or goodwife of the house . the goodwife or mistresse of the house , is a person which yeeldeth helpe and assistance in gouernmēt to the master of the familie . for he is , as it were , the prince and chiece ruler ; she is the associate , not only in office and authoritie , but also in aduise , and counsell vnto him . 1. king. 17. 17. and after these things , the sonne of the woman , which was wife , or * mistresse of the house , was sicke . her dutie is two-fold . first to gouerne the house , as much as concerneth her , in her place . 1. tim. 5. 14. i will therefore that the yonger women marrie , and gouerne the house . and that she doth three waies . i. by exercising her selfe in some profitable employments , for the good of her charge , prou. 31. 13. she seeketh wooll , and flax , and laboureth cheerefully with her hands . ii. by appointing her maids their worke , and ouerseeing them therein . vers. 15. she riseth whiles it is yet night , and giueth the portion to her houshold , and the ordinary to her maids . iii. by ordering her children and seruants in wisdome ; partly by instruction , partly by admonition , whē there is need . vers. 26. shee openeth her mouth with wisdome , and the law of grace is in her tongue . vers . 28. her children rise vp , and call her blessed , &c. tit. 2. 5. that they be discreet , chast , keeping at home , &c. act. 18. 26. priscilla in her house , with aquila , instructed apollos , in that wherin he was wanting , expounding vnto him the way of god more perfectly . gregorie nazianzen in an oration made for his father , saith , that his mother was not only an helper , but also a teacher or instructer , and guide vnto his father in matters of religion & godlines . the second dutie is , to giue the portion of food vnto her familie , or cause it to be giuen in due season . prou. 31. 15. she riseth whiles it is yet night , and giueth the portiō , or meat to her houshold . thus did rebekah in her house . gen. 27. 9. get thee now to the flock , & bring me thēce two good kids of the goats , that i may make pleasant meat of thē for thy father , such as he loueth . quest. whether may the goodwife , without the consent of the goodman , giue and bestow the goods belonging to the familie ? ans. i. there are some things which are proper to her selfe , and not part of her dowry which she brought vnto her husband . and these she may claime as her owne , because either they were reserued vpon the match made betweene them , or else are peculiar vnto her by their mutuall consent , and of them she may lawfully giue , without her husbands knowledge . ii. the goods which are common to them both , are of another nature ; and these shee may not bestow , without his allowance , either expresse or at least general and implicite , specially when the giuing of them doth or may grow in likelihood , to the hinderance , and preiudice of the state of the familie . finis . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a09377-e130 * 〈…〉 〈…〉 xenoph. ibid. * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . cic. 3. de nat. deor. 1. tim. 3. 5 gen. 6. 12. 1. sam. 2. 12. 23 , 24 , 25. 2. sam. 14 33. 1. king. 5. 6. 2. sam. 15 1. king. 1. aristot. politic. xenoph. in oecon. psal. 128. 1 1. tim. 4. 8 1. cor. 7. 1. 2. 8. 9. bellarm. de matrim . sacram. libr. c. 19. concil . trident. sess. 24. decreto de clandest . matrim . matth. 5. 32. concil . trid. sess. 24. can. 7. a see the code in sundrie places . lib. 5. tit . 4 de nuptijs , tit . 5. de incesto , &c. b concil . trid. sess . 24. can . 12. bellarm. de matrim . sacram. cap. 32. psal. 128. 3. act. 20. 32 notes for div a09377-e840 * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * diu deliberandum quod s●mel sta●uendum . * in ver●is de 〈…〉 . * in futurum . * non de facto , de ●ure . * de praesenti . * jn sauorem matrimony . rom. 1. 26 * species . leuit. 18 22. 23. * ebr. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sobriuo propior . de ciuit . dei. lib. 1● . ca. 16. epist●l . li. 〈◊〉 66. 1. cor. 6. beza de repudijs . 82. * cuius nuptias in●re non licet , eius nec coniu●is licet . chap. 18. * impuberes . * turpi . tertul. ad vxor . li. 2. * dilucida interualla . gal. 4. 1. repudium . * de honestate . sub innocent . 3. canon . 51. tertul. lib. ad vxorem , 2. ad finem . * ritè & iure . basil. epist. 1. ad amphiloch . canon , 42. lib. 2. ad vxorem . * oblationem sic exponit beatus rhenanus . niceph. lib. 14. cap. 55. ambros. epistolar . lib. 9. epist. 70. ad vigilium . ambros. in 1. cor. 7. 15. libr. 4. dist . 39. lib. de fide & operib . cap. 1● . canon . proposuisti , distinct . 82. sozomen . lib. 3. cap. 16. sess. 8. canon . 9. 10. ambros. lib. de philosoph . citat . ab august . contr . iulianum . lib. 2. arist. ethic . lib. 8. in 1. cor. 11. homil . 26. 〈…〉 * in potestate patris . ruffin . eccles . hist. lib. 1. c. 14. nazianz. epist. ad eudoxam . * c. de nuptijs . l. vidua , & l. in cōiunctione . * beza de repud . & diuort . sect . de spōsalibus absque consensu parfactis . arist. oeconom . 7. theodor ▪ orat. 8. aristot. polit . lib. 1. * [ ethchanicau ] suos initiatos . * in ioan. tract . 51. in fine . * [ bagnalath babbaijth . ] domina domus . a new family-book, or, the true interest of families being directions to parents and children, and to those who are instead of parents : shewing them their several duties, and how they may be happy in one another : together with several prayers for families and children, and graces before and after meat : to which is annexed a discourse about the right way of improving our time / by james kirkwood ... ; with a preface, by dr. horneck. kirkwood, james, 1650?-1709. 1693 approx. 313 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 146 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2005-12 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a47513 wing k647 estc r15399 12209336 ocm 12209336 56224 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a47513) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 56224) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 765:10) a new family-book, or, the true interest of families being directions to parents and children, and to those who are instead of parents : shewing them their several duties, and how they may be happy in one another : together with several prayers for families and children, and graces before and after meat : to which is annexed a discourse about the right way of improving our time / by james kirkwood ... ; with a preface, by dr. horneck. kirkwood, james, 1650?-1709. horneck, anthony, 1641-1697. the second editon, corrected and much enlarged. 252 p., 1 leaf of plates. printed for j. taylor ..., and j. everingham ..., london : 1693. reproduction of original in huntington library. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with 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reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng family -england. family -religious life. parent and child -early works to 1800. 2005-03 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2005-03 aptara keyed and coded from proquest page images 2005-04 judith siefring sampled and proofread 2005-04 judith siefring text and markup reviewed and edited 2005-10 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion m vendor ●ucht scul : printed for j taylor & j. eueringham a new family-book ; or , the true interest of families . being directions to parents and children , and to those who are instead of parents ; shewing them their several duties , and how they may be happy in one another . together with several prayers for families and children , and graces before and after meat . to which is annexed a discourse about the right way of improving our time , by james kirkwood rector of astwick in bedfordshire . with a preface , by dr. horneck . the second edition corrected and much enlarged . london : printed for j. taylor at the ship-in st. paul's church-yard , and j. everingham , at the star in ludgate-street . 1693. to my honoured friend and patron , thomas brown of arlsey esq and to mrs. mary brown his wife . all who have a right sense of things , and understand but a little of the state of religion in the world , cannot but see and lament the great decay thereof every where amongst us . atheism and irreligion are become too much in fashion , and have too many votaries and followers . it has not been known in any age , that such sort of men ( or rather monsters , for man is too honourable a name for them ) have been so numerous , so daring and impudent , and so successful . who could imagine that in a christian state there should be such persons , who are at great pains to propagate atheism , and to run down , if they were able , our most holy religion ! as the neglect of educating children aright , contributes too much to this degeneracy ; so the most likely remedy of this dangerous and spreading distemper , is , a due care in parents and others who have the charge of children , to train them up in the knowledge , fear , and love of god ; to do what in them lies , to fortifie their minds against those snares and temptations to which they are exposed ; and to shine before them , in the practice of sincere piety themselves . tho' too many , on whom god has bestowed children , are so far from doing their duty for their souls , that they corrupt and utterly ruin them , which * one of the ancients calls a greater cruelty , than if they killed their bodies . yet , blessed be god , there are some , who consider it as their main business , with relation to their children , to make them wise and good , lovers of god , and haters of every evil thing . amongst those who are governed by this religious principle , god hath made you , my most honoured friends , great patterns . as he hath blessed you with a numerous offspring , so he hath given you of the wisdom from above , to know how to train them up in piety and virtue . the happy mixture of kindness and severity which you use towards them , makes them not only to stand in awe of you , but to love you . i might be allowed , on this occasion , to say somewhat in commendation of those excellent qualities which god has blessed you with , and which appear not only in your way and manner of educating your children , but in other things likewise . the many and great expressions of your kindness for me , ever since i had the honour to be known to you , require the most publick testimony of my grateful resentment thereof . but 't is one of your virtues , that you chuse rather to be concealed , than to make any great noise in the world. i shall therefore restrain my self from what otherwise not only gratitude , but the great and just esteem and affection i have for you , do mightily tempt me unto ; and shall conclude this address with my prayers to god for you , that he would increase his grace in you more and more , that you may abound in all the fruits of righteousness and true holiness , until you obtain the end of your faith , the salvation of your souls . i am , tour most affectionate friend , and most faithful servant . james kirkwood . the preface . the author of the ensuing treatise , having thought fit to recommend his papers to my perusal , i was willing to usher them into the world , with some remarks upon his pious design . the welfare of a common wealth doth in a great measure depend upon the duties of the relatives here treated of , and did parents and children conscientiously discharge all the ob●igations incumbent upon them by the law of god , and nature , the world could not be so wicked as it is . education makes the first impressions upon the souls of men , and were care taken , that the ground be impregnated with good seed , such a harvest might be expected from it , that posterity might be the better for it . i am sensible that conversation and the humour of the age , is apt to make strange alterations in the principles we imb●be , yet something will stick , and when the thoughts are cool , and men come to reflect , the principles they have learned when the wax was soft , will recoil , and oblige them to return to their duty . of this we have experience ; and though there is no rule so general , but admits of exceptions , yet it 's enough that this effect doth frequently appear , which is no inconsiderable motive to the serious consideration of a thing of this importance . it was a wise answer , which one of the lxxii . interpreters gave to ptolemaeus philadelphus , who asked him , what was the greatest negligence ? the neglect , saith he , of the good education of children . it is so , and the hurt that 's done by it , both to them , and to the publick , is unspeakable . whence is it that there are so many prodigals , that so many come to an untimely end ? that so many run into excesses , which destroy both soul and body ? from want of pious education . it was a severe censure , which carneades the philosopher passed upon the children of rich men , that they learned nothing but to ride well . indeed it is to be wondered , that rational creatures should be so careful to breed up their progeny to sensuality , and neglect the cultivation of that which makes them differ from bruits , and shews , they are creatures of a nobler extract : can any thing be more reasonable , than virtue and the fear of god ? is not this it , which both scripture and philosophy teaches ? do not we our selves confess so much , and do not most men acknowledge it when they come to dye ? and yet that we should make this the least part of our care in the education of youth , is wondrous strange ! some seem to fancy , that sending their children to school , or to teach them their catechism , is all the care that is incumbent upon them . though i cannot say , but that this is a duty , yet it is so imperfect , that i can scarce honour it with the title of doing it by halves , it being but the beginning , or the least part of it . instruction , precept , and example are the mighty engines and instruments in the promoting and accomplishing this work ; and perhaps nothing hath a greater influence than example ; for all the moral precepts of the parents , are like water spilt upon the ground , where example doth not concomitate the instruction . how shall the child learn sobriety , where the father is often drunk ? or how is it possible , the young man should be meek and patient , where the father is cholerick , and hath no command of his passion ? i do not restrain the grace of god , and am sensible , that the very impiety of the parents hath sometimes contrary effects upon certain children , and they learn to be good by the wickedness of their superiors ; but this is an extraordinary providence , which god exerts sometimes to manifest his omnipotence , and to let men see that he can bring light out of darkness , but the ordinary way of edifying those under our charge , is to teach them by example . and though even this proves ineffectual sometimes , yet it 's enough that it is our duty , and that we have discharged it , and have taken that way which was most rational , and of god's prescription . i am so pleased with st. jerom's advice to laeta concerning the education of her daughter , that i cannot forbear to transcribe part of it . i will let you see , saith he , what education you are to give to a daughter , whose soul ought to be the temple of god. let her hear nothing , learn nothing , speak nothing , but what may inspire the fear of god into her . let her not listen to prophane discourses , nor be enamoured with love songs or am●rous ditties . let her use her self at certain hours , to sing psalms ; let none be about her , but sober servants , and keep her from running into company light and vain , where she will learn more ill than good . use her to reading , and to work , and labour , and promise her rewards , and incite her to emulation ; excite her to virtue by praises and commendations , and make her ambitious to excel others in virtue and good works . let her learn scripture sentences by heart , and chuse her a master , that may not only teach her to read , but instruct her in good manners . give her a nurse neither debaucht nor tatling , nor given to strong liquors ; and let her habit be modest , and such as becomes her christian profession . let her not bore holes in her ears for pendants , neither let her use any paint or wash to beautifie her self . let her not be nice in ordering the hair of her head , neither suffer her to adorn her self with gold or pearls , or precious stones , except you design her for hell fire : when she comes to riper age , let her go with her parents to the temple , but let her not return to the gayeties of the world. advise her to keep her self in her chamber , and let her not go to feasts , and merry meetings . i would not have her use too much fasting and abstinence , which may hurt her health , at least till she be stronger , and better able to bear it . let her use god's creatures for necessity , and not for voluptuousness sake . suffer her not to be at musical concerts , nor to be fond of fiddles , and lutes , and harps , but let her repeat every day some passages out of the word of god. let her not go abroad any where without her mother , nor be very familiar , or enter into intreagues with any servant . appoint her a governess that 's sage and wise , and who may teach her to rise at midnight , to sing praises to her god. let her pray and work day and night . teach her to handle her needle , to spin and to exercise her self in turning the spindle . suffer her not to imploy her self in imbroideries of gold and silver . let her cloaths be plain and decent , and let her eat soberly and temperately , and let her not take pleasure in common baths . i know what will be objected here , that this is the advice of a hermit , and to teach a daughter how to be a nun. but still i appeal to any unprejudiced person , whether this be not the most likely way to salvation , and whether these precepts be not agreeable to the gospel of christ ? and though i will grant , that all are not under the same circumstances , and all cannot give the same education ; yet as to the principal part of the advice , which is to teach children by word and example , how to die to sin and to the world , it must be granted it 's very practicable . this age indeed hath learnt to shake off these stricter rules , but they should shew us too , what warrant they have from the word of god to do so . it was judiciously observed of fabius , that a soft and effeminate education , breaks the strength of body and mind , and whilst we breed up children to all the arts of vanity and luxury , they continue strangers to god and to themselves . the vine grows wild , if it be not cut ; so doth youth , if they be not betimes curbed in things which war against the soul. vnderstand this , ye parents , and be instructed , ye to whom god hath committed the care of education ; ye are god's stewards , and your children are the goods you are to manage to your master's glory . their blood god will require at your hands . have not ye read the curse god pronounced against eli for his negligence , and are not ye afraid of the same judgment ? ye are the persons by whom your children must be taught to serve god in their generation ; ye are the persons from whom they are to learn their duty to god and man ; at your door the fault will lie , if they miscarry through your carelesness . are their souls so contemptible in your eyes , that you will let them perish for want of admonition ? did christ think them worth purchasing with his own blood , and will ye let them lie without fence or wall , or cultivation ? you take care that they may live comfortably in this world : is it not a greater duty to bestir your selves , that they may enjoy god for ever ? it is joy to you to see them do well here , and ought it not to be a greater joy to find , that they are like to reign with christ and his saints in a better world ? you love them , but how doth it appear you do , while you let their souls die ? is this your love , to provide for their flesh , and to neglect enriching their better part with religious principles ? you would have them go to heaven when they die ; but how is it possible they should , when you are loth to be at the trouble to shew them the way that leads to that paradise ? was ever any man saved without holiness , and do you hope they will be , without this qualification ? if you teach them not by word and example to practise that holiness , how can you or they hope to ascend into the mount of god , or dwell on the everlasting hills ? do you believe a future account , and do not ye enquire , whether you discharge your duty to your children ? or is this no part of the account ye are to give ? ye are the persons who are to breath● goodness into them , and to give them life and happiness . ye are their gods , as it were , and from you they receive their motion ; and their spiritual as well as their natural life must begin from you . ye are magistrates in your families , and it is your province to be a terrour to evil-doers , and encouragers of those that do well . if by your indulgence they sin , and by your connivence they grow wicked , will not the supreme judge be avenged on such officers ? you blame governours of a commonwealth , if they do not animadvert on offenders , or are regardless of the reins of justice ; and do not you blame your selves , who are commanders in your families , for suffering the fear of god to decay there , which is the only thing that can make them happy ? how is it , that you will not understand your interest ? is it not your interest to educate them into the practice of virtue , and goodness , and self denial ? if they love god , they must needs love you , that love will constrain them to express their duty to you . the presence of god will over-awe them , and they 'll obey you , not with eye-service , but when your eye is off from them . the fear of god will make them conscientious of obeying your commands in secret ; and if your good counsels and examples prevail with them , they will be not only your children , but the children of god ; and you will have this satisfaction , that you do not only love them , but that god loves them , and dwells in them , and they in him . remember this , ye that are children , and let this encourage you to a faithful discharge of your duty . your parents , that under god gave you life , have a just right to your services and obedience . you are born servants to them , and to be at their beck and command is the obligation you bring with you into the world. as the authority of parents was the first government in the world , so your subjection to them is the first service that was ever known in the world. can you think any thing too good for them , who are the great instruments of conveying to you all the goods you possess , and all the endowments you are invested with ? if you follow not their good instructions and admonitions , ye are the greatest rebels in the world , and the sin is as great a treason in the family you live in , as sedition in a kingdom is against the state. you have the noblest promises made you to reward your obedience ; and though it is a natural duty bound up with your very being , yet god will reward it as if it were a deliberate self-denial ; and because you shall not stay for the recompence , god will bless you here , and your lives shall be comfortable on this side heaven . it is the first commandment in the law with promise ; and to let you see how god delights in your honouring your parents , and obeying their wholsom counsels , he hath singled out that precept , and dress'd it with more than ordinary encouragements . but then , the honour you shew them , must not spend it self in some outward civilities , but must be expressed in actions , in speeches , and in patience , according to the advice of the son of syrach , ecclesiastic . 3. 12 , 13 , 14. in actions , so as to execute their lawful commands with great alacrity and fidelity , to labour , and to take pains for their mainnteance and support , if they are fallen to decay , and to relieve their necessities , according to your ability . in words , and speeches , so as to speak honourably of them , to answer them with humility , to comfort them when they are in trouble , and to pacifie them with soft language , when they are angry and displeased . in patience , so as to bear their anger patiently , and to endure their frowardness and pettishness without contradiction ; to receive their severer commands , and such as are contrary to your genius and inclination , with gentleness , and to do them without murmuring . these are duties which draw more than ordinary blessings upon you , god that sees you do so , will have thoughts of peace towards you ; he will be concerned for you , and you may be confident , he will not leave you , nor forsake you . in honouring your parents , you honour your selves . it 's that which will not only procure you favour with god , but with men too . it 's upon this account , that wise men have recorded the dutifulness of some excellent children , and make them immortal by their writings ; and there are such examples of this filial respect , even among the heathen , that it would be odious and dreadful , if the children of christians should fall short of their duty . god lays so great a stress upon it that as he promises the kindest things to it , so he threatens as severe punishments , where it is neglected ; and that he doth not only threaten , but execute these judgments , any man may see , that will take notice of his providences . but all this the reader will be more fully convinced of , by reading the following discourse , which , that god may bless with success and edification , shall be my hearty prayer . a. horneck . the contents of advice to parents . part i. the introduction , shewing the great importance of the right education of children . pag. 1 how parents ought to be affected , while children are yet in the womb. 2 how they ought to be affected when their children are born . 3 the duties of parents for their childrens souls . 1. duty , to consecrate them to god in baptism . 4 the right of children to baptism . 8 2. duty , to season their minds betimes with good impressions . 13 children are to be acquainted with scripture histories . 14 3. duty , to teach them to pray . 18 4. duty , to observe carefully their temper and disposition , and to endeavour to reform what is amiss therein . 22 what is to be done if they are sturdy and proud . 22 if they be given to lying . 23 if they are cunning and deceitful . 24 if they are peevish and passionate . 25 if they are revengeful and malicious . 26 if they are jealous and suspicious . 28 if they are too credulous . 28 if they are envious . 29 if they are very impatient 30 if they love their belly too well . 32 if they discover any tendency to vnchast and immodest actions . 33 if they are very changeable and vnconstant . 36 if they are surly and morose . 37 if they are disrespectful to aged persons . 39 if they quarrel much with one another . 40 if they are over curious to know their lot and fortune in the world. 42 if they are unthankful to those who do them good and kind offices . 46 if they are of too prodigal a temper . 49 if they are covetous . 50 if they are naturally melancholly . 51 if they are of too gay and airy a temper . 51 if they are rash and froward . 52 5. duty , to see that they be taught to read. 55 about keeping them at school . 56 great care ought to be taken , what books they read . 61 6. duty , to bring them to the place of publick worship , so soon as they are fit for it . 64 what they should do before they go to church . 65 how they should carry themselves at church . ib. what they should do when they come from church . 66 why the lord's day ought to be kept . 67 children are to be possessed with a great regard for the ministers of the gospel . 68 7. duty , to make them understand their baptismal covenant . 73 8. duty , to encourage them to come to the lord's table . 77 9. duty , to take care that they accustom themselves to self-examination . 79 10. duty , to observe what providences they meet with , and to acquaint them therewith in due time , as also with some of the most remarkable providences , which either they ( to wit the parents ) themselves , or others have met with . 86 some directions to parents , how to render their endeavours effectual . 95 1. they must give their children good example . 95 2. they must chuse good company for them . 98 the great danger that children are in from flatterers . 99 advice to those who send their children abroad to travel . 102 3. they must , as need requires , reprove and chasten their children , and how ? 106 parents ought in correcting their children , to follow the example of our heavenly father . 111 parents must be careful not to oppose one another , when they correct and reprove their children . 112 4. they must carefully improve the time of their childrens sickness , or of any other afflictions they meet with , towards the making of them wiser and better . 113 5. they must daily pray to god for them . 115 against those who curse their children . 118 some motives to excite parents to do these things . 1. motive from the divine command . 120 2. motive , from its being a work worthy of the utmost care and pains of parents . 122 3. motive , from the rewards which attend those , who faithfully do these things . 123 4. motive , from the great benefit which comes both to church and state by the good education of children . 127 5. motive , from the sad effects which attend the neglect of these duties . 135 part ii. the duties of parents as to their childrens bodies . 1. dvty , it belongs to the mother to give suck to her children . 141 2. duty , about childrens diet. 145 3. duty , about childrens apparel . 146 the duty of parents as to the outward estate of their children . 1. duty , to chuse a fit trade for them . 148 advice to those who have great estates and riches , to bestow on their children . 150 advice to those , who intend to set apart one or more of their children for the holy ministry . 157 2. duty , about disposing of them in marriage . 162 the sad effects of marrying very leud and profligate persons . 164 3. duty , about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the world. 167 great prudence and caution ought to be used in bestowing their worldly goods on their children . 172 4. duty , to have their will and testament in readiness . 174 the great inconvenience of delay in this matter . 174 great care to be taken in the choice of guardians for children . 178 the above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to parents . 180 concerning the duty of parents when god removeth their children by death . 1. they ought to consider that it is the lord who does it . 187 2. they ought to consider that their children were born mortal . 189 3. they should consider from whence , and whither they are gone . 197 4. they should consider that there will be a resurrection . 202 5. they should consider that their giving way to excessive grief and mourning , can do no good , but will certainly do a great deal of hurt . 205 the duty of parents on their death-bed . 209 1. duty , to give their children good advice . 210 2. duty , to pray to god for them . 212 3. duty , to commend them to some faithful friends . 212 concerning the duties of step-fathers and step-mothers . 214 some motives to stir them up to do their duty . 218 the duties of guardians . 223 some motives to excite guardians to do their duty . 225 a morning prayer for parents , or masters of families , with their family . 232 an evening prayer for parents , or masters of families , with their family . 237 a short prayer for the morning or evening , when through extraordinary occasions there is not time for the other . 242 a prayer to be taught children , when hey begin to speak . 245 a prayer for children when they come to be four or five years old . 246 a prayer for children , when they come to twelve or fourteen years of age ; sooner or later , according to the ripeness of their understanding . 247 grace before meat . 251 after meat . 252 errata . pag. 16. line 26. read intelligible . p. 22. l. 22. for when , r. whom . p. 44. l. 9. r. infallibly . p. 45. l. 2. for having , r. have . p. 68. l. 22. r. ministrations . p. 87. l. 24. r. stir up . p. 97. l. 22. r. and besides the influence . p. 101. l. 21. r. attia . p. 126. l. 12 r. lustre p. 154. l. 1. r. of . p. 159. l. 13. point thus ; early and late , to be . p. 178. l. 7. for are , r. is . p. 187. l. 25. point thus ; sees fit . he is the great potter , and. p. 193. l. 28. for hath , r. had . p. 215. l. 1 , point thus ; account : they. p. 238. l. 4. point thus ; counsels , and despised . as to some other mistakes in the printing , they will not much hinder the reader . errata in advice to children . pag. 3. l. 18. r. disposition . p. 9. l. 12 and 13. r. tho canaan . l. 29. for ye , r. thee . p. 29. l. 16. for cat , r. cock. p. 114. l. 5. r. servant . p. 139. l. 4. r. hath called . p. 150. l. 15. and 16. r. according . advice to parents . part i. it has been always reckoned by the best and wisest men , a thing absolutely necessary towards a reformation in the world , to begin with the instruction and education of children ; those of elder years being ordinarily so rooted and hardned in their sinful habits , that , for the most part , there 's very little can be done to reform them , and make them better . so sensible were some ancient states of this , that they made particular laws for educating children ; thinking it too great a trust , to leave it altogether in the power of parents , to train up their children according to their humour and fancy . amongst christians , there are few restraints upon parents ; in most countries it being in their power to educate their children as they think good : it is therefore of no small importance for them to know what their duty is , that they may approve themselves to god , in doing whatever he requires towards their children , for their souls , their bodies , and their outward estate . the design of this treatise , is , to furnish those , who want such helps , with some plain and easie directions , that they may know how to act the part of christian parents . first , while children are yet in the womb , it is the duty of parents , to endeavour to bring their mind to an indifferency , as to the sex which shall be born ; not to prescribe to god , by their impatient desires , and their bold asking of him , a child of this or that sex ; but to leave it entirely to his will and pleasure , to do what he thinks best . the happiness of parents does not consist in having children of this or that sex : sometimes sons ( who are most desired ordinarily ) may prove useless in the world , yea very hurtful in many regards ; they may occasion great grief of heart , and lasting anguish and vexation to their parents , by their mad and foolish courses , and wicked doings : and on the other hand , daughters may prove great blessings in the world , great comforts to their parents , and great examples of piety and of zeal for the honour of god : on which accounts parents ought to resign their will to god , and be ready with all gratitude to accept whatever he bestows . secondly , when a child is born , parents ought with all thankfulness to return praise to god , who hath bestowed such a blessing upon them , giving them a living child , sound and perfect in all its parts and proportions , without either defect of necessary parts , or excess and deformity thereof . they ought to admire and adore the powerful and wise providence of god , which appears in framing and fashioning their infant , so curiously and wonderfully in the womb ; in preserving it , and making it grow up from a very small and imperfect beginning , to such a bigness , with all those comely shapes and proportions which they behold ; and at last in bringing it safely from the womb , which is one of the great and wonderful works of the power and goodness of god ; tho it be little regarded , because it is so common . they ought to look upon their children as given them of god , to be taken care of both as to their souls and bodies ; to be bred up in his fear , for his honour and glory ; to be made fit to serve him here , and to live with him for ever hereafter . the soul being the chiefest part o● the charge committed to parents , ● shall first shew what they ought to d● for their childrens souls . the first duty of parents for the souls of their children , is , to consecrat● them to god in baptism . first , they ought to consecrate their children to god in baptism , so soon as conveniently they can : they cannot better express their gratitude to god for blessing them with children , than by presenting them to him again in this holy ordinance ; that he may set his seal upon them , and admit them into his house and family ; that he may bestow upon them the priviledges of his children , and give them a right and title to the blessedness , the grace and glory purchased by jesus christ. it is for this end that baptism is instituted ; not only to be a ceremony of admission into the church , but to seal unto us the pardon of our sins , to assure us of the divine favour , to make us members of christ , heirs of god , and inheritours of the kingdom of heaven , if we by wilful impenitency and unbelief , do not afterwards hinder and frustrate the virtue thereof . it is not necessary for parents to enquire how such things are done by baptism ; it is enough for them to know , that god hath appointed baptism for those ends , and we are sure that he appoints nothing in vain : our saviour is said , eph. 5. 26. to sanctify and cleanse his church with the washing of water by the word . and , tit. 3. 5. he is said to save us by the washing of regeneration , and renewing of the holy ghost . and in the 22 d. of the acts and the 16. it is said by ananias unto paul , arise and ●e baptized , and wash away thy sins : and st. peter , having spoken of noahs being saved with his family in the ark , he adds , 1 epist. 3 21. the like figure whereunto , even baptism doth now also save us . and st. paul tells us , 1 cor. 12. 12 , 13. for as the body is one , and hath many members , and all the members of that one body , being many , are one body ; so also is christ. for by one spirit are we all baptized into one body . and gal. 3. 26 , 27. he saith , for ye are all the children of god by faith in christ jesus . for as many of you as have been baptized into christ , have put on christ : which words import not only our owning and acknowledging him as the saviour of the world , who alone is able to wash and cleanse us with his blood , but also our professing our resolution to live holy lives , to walk in newness of life according to his example ; in token of which in the ancient church , they who were baptized , were presently cloathed with white rayment , to testify their resolution to live in holiness , and to put off the old man , that is , all their former wicked deeds and customs , and filthy practices . likewise , rom. 6. 3 , and 4. it is thus written , know ye not that so many of us as were baptized into jesus christ , were baptized into his death ? therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death , that like as christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the father ; even so we also should walk in newness of life . these words import not only our belief of a crucified saviour , who dyed and was buried for sin , to save us from it ; but also our repentance , whereby we renounce sin , as dead and buried to it for the time to come . the general design of this sacrament , being sufficiently plain and clear from these and other scriptures ; it is to little purpose , ( and oftentimes it proves to very ill purpose ) to enquire any further as to particulars ; for by so doing , a great many persons judging of divine things by their own weak and foolish apprehensions , have reasoned themselves ( if i may so speak ) both out of their reason and religion . as to the right of children to baptism , it will appear , if you consider , that the covenant blessing of god's being the god of abraham and of his seed , gen. 17. 7. is not only continued , to those of the jewish nation who are converted to christianity , ( for if the first fruit be holy , the lump is holy ; and if the root be holy , so are the branches , rom. 11. 16. ) but is likewise extended to the gentiles , who by faith in christ are made one body with the jews , and so have a right to the blessings promised to abraham and to his children rom. 4. 9 , 10 , 11 , 12. cometh this blessedness upon the circumcision onely , or upon the uncircumcision also ? for we say , that faith was reckoned to abraham for righteousness . how was it then reckoned ? when he was in circumcision , or in uncircumcision ? not in circumcision , but in uncircumcision ? and he received the sign of circumcision , a seal of the righteousness of the faith , which he had yet being uncircumcised : that he might be the father of them that believe , tho they be not circumcised , that righteousness might be imputed unto them also : and the father of circumcision , to them who are not of the circumcision only , but also walk in the steps of that faith of our father abraham , which he had being yet uncircumcised . from which words it appears , that all who believe , not only jews or persons circumcised , but gentiles also , or persons uncircumcised , are accounted the children of abraham , and capable to partake of that happiness and salvation , which was promised to him as the father of the faithful . to the same purpose saith the apostle , writing to the galatians , chap. 3. 9. they which be of faith , are blessed with faithful abraham . and v. 29. if ye be christ's , then are ye abraham 's seed , and heirs according to the promise . again , 1 cor. 7. 14. he saith , the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife , and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband : else were your children unclean , but now are they holy. which intimates , that the children of all believers , whether they be jews or gentiles , are within god's covenant , and have a right to those favours and priviledges which he hath annexed thereto . likewise , acts 2. 39. 't is said , the promise is unto you , and to your children , and to all that are afar off , even as many as the lord our god shall call . so that , all who are called by the preaching of the gospel , and do believe in the lord jesus , are both themselves and their children within the covenant of grace . if it were not so , then the blessing of abraham , were not come on the gentiles , through jesus christ , as it affirmed , gal. 3. 14. for how could the same blessing be come on the gentiles ; if their children were not comprehended within the covenant of grace , which was a part of the blessing of abraham ? and how could christians be heirs according to the promise , if their children have no right to it , as abraham's children had ? or can it be imagined , that the condition of believers under the gospel , is worse than the condition of those who believed under the law ? are god's mercies and favours to mankind impaired , by christ's coming into the world ? has the great lover of souls , the redeemer of the world , been the occasion of our loseing great and considerable priviledges , by his tabernacling amongst us ? and yet all this must needs follow , if now under the gospel the children of believers are excluded from the covenant of grace , which they were admitted to under the law ; which is very inconsistent with the divine goodness , and contrary to the love of our lord jesus , which he manifested in his blessed gospel ; where we find , he commanded the children to be brought unto him , and blamed those who would have kept them from him ; he took them into his arms , laid his hands upon them , and blessed them , and declared that he accounted them heirs of the kingdom of heaven . mat. 19. 13 , 14 , 15. and mark 10. 13 , 14 , 15. 16. from all which , both words and deeds of our saviour , we may see very plainly , he was far from hindering their being admitted members of his church and kingdom . the right of infants to baptism will further appear , if you consider more particularly the institution of baptism . the jews were wont to admit into their church , not only aged persons who were converted to paganism , but likewise their children , which they did by circumcision , sacrifice , and baptism . our saviour being to determine the manner of admitting disciples and proselytes into his church that he might make his yoke : easie to those who would come after him , laid aside circumcision , ( which was a painful rite ) and sacrifices , ( which were very costly ) and only retained baptism , to be the sacrament of initiation or admission of disciples into his church . go ye , said he to his apostles , mat. 28. 19. and teach ( or , as the words may be translated , disciple or make disciples of ) all nations , baptizing them in the name of the father , and of the son , and of the holy ghost . now , this command being given to men , who knew that the infants of those who were converted , were admitted into the jewish church , as well as the parents themselves , is there the least ground to imagine any other , but that our saviour's design was , that the children of believers should still be admitted into his church , as well as formerly into the jewish ? and no doubt , if he had thought fit to discontinue the jewish practice , he would have expresly signified his mind about it , to prevent an otherwise unavoidable mistake . to all which might be added , that the catholick or universal church , not only at this day , but in former ages , has observed this custom , of baptizing the children of christian parents . now , if children have so good a right to baptism , what shall be said of those parents , who ●light and neglect it , and so deprive their poor children of that which god , their heavenly father , hath ordained for so great and excellent purposes ? we see how careful parents are , if their children have a title to houses and lands , or other temporal things , to use their utmost endeavours , to make their title as sure unto them as is possible . and yet how sad is it to think , that they are not at all careful , to have their children baptized , tho' god has appointed this sacrament , to be the seal of his covenant , and an evidence of that right which believers and their children have to the kingdom of heaven . 2. duty , to feason their minds betimes with good impressions . secondly , when children begin to speak and to discover some dawnings of reason , it is fit to season their minds with some good thoughts , with some divine impressions , that religion betimes may catch hold of their tender and innocent minds , before they are corrupted and defiled with bad principles , and vain and unreasonable opinions , which they are apt to learn too soon from evil company . teach them who made them ; who dyed for them ; for what end they were made ; whither good children go when they dye , and whither naughty children go ; what a place heaven is , and hell , &c. amongst other things , 't will be very useful to tell children , some of the most remarkable histories in scripture , as so many arguments and motives to excite them to be good children , and to avoid all wicked and naughty courses : for example , tell them the story of the deluge , how god punished the old world , because they were wicked , but saved noah . thereby take occasion , to shew them the danger of being wicked ; that sinning with company , will not preserve from punishment ; what a happy thing it is to be good ; and how kind the lord is to such who keep his commandments , as noah did . to this purpose tell them also the story of sodom and gomorrah , &c. how those cities were consumed by fire from heaven , for their great wickedness ; and how lot was preserved from that dreadful destruction . tell them the history of david and goliah , that they may learn not to be proud of their strength , but may put their trust in god , who is able to save them from their mightiest enemies . tell them the story of the naughty children at bethel , how they mocked the old prophet elijah , and how 42 of them were torn in pieces by two bears . by this example shew them , what a dangerous thing it is to be in the company of naughty children ; and what an evil thing it is to be mockers and scorners , especially of holy men , of aged persons , or of god's ministers . tell them what happened to ananias and saphira for their lying ; that they may be afraid to lye . tell them how daniel was preserved , when he was cast into the den of lions : and how the three children were preserved in the fiery furnace . that thereby they may learn , never to be afraid to do the will of god , tho' by doing it they should be exposed to never so great dangers . tell them how daniel , hananiah , mishacl and azariah chose to eat pulse only , and to drink water , and yet , by the blessing of god on their plain diet , their countenances appeared fairer and fatter in flesh , than all the children that did ●at the portion of the king's meat . that thereby they may learn to be well pleased with the most plain and ordinary fare , and may consider that the blessing of god is able to make the coursest diet very sweet , refreshing and nourishing , even beyond the greatest delicacies . in this manner 't is sit to entertain your children sometimes , according to their age and capacity , with such scripture histories , as tend to make the most lively impressions upon them . in teaching children such matters , it is necessary to condescend to their weak capacity , to speak to them softly and gently , and in a plain and intellgible manner . it is not fit to talk with them of such things at all times , nor yet to say too much to them at any one time : such instructions are to be dropt into their minds leisurely and by degrees , so as not to oppress them , but to recreate them ; not to be a burden to them , but a pleasure . it cannot be expressed how great advantages attend such early instructions ; these are the seeds of virtue , which take root infensibly , and spring up sometimes very unexpectedly ; the impressions which they make continue a great while , as earthen vessels retain the favour of that liquor which was first put into them a long time after : so powerful are these f●r●t instructions , that they are able to conq●●r even nature it self . † the famous lycurgus made this appear , by bringing into the market-place two dogs of one litter , and presenting before them a pot of pottage and a hare ; one of them ( which was trained up in hunting ) run after the hare ; and the other ( which was brought up in the house ) sell to the pottage . what a wonderful power may we daily observe in those early impressions which are made on mens minds ? thereby in comes to pass , that the most abs●●d and extravagant opinions , which have been suck'd in , when one was young , can hardly be removed by the clearest and strongest reasonings . 3. duty , to teach them to pray . thirdly , teach them , so soon as may be , to pray to god morning and evening ; to say after you , or others whom you appoint for that purpose , two or three short petitions , which are easie to be understood ; and as their understanding and capacity increaseth , teach them the lord's prayer ; and after that some larger form of prayer , which they may say after you , till they can read it themselves , or get it by heart . you are to have a special care , that they perform their devotions in as grave and serious a manner as their years can admit : you are to keep them from all sorts of indecent actions and postures , when they say their prayers : for this end , you are to teach them who it is they speak to when they pray , and what those things mean , which the pray for . chuse the sittest times for them , wherein to say their prayers : as in the morning , when-ever they arise ; while their spirits are most vigorous , and their thoughts most free . at night let them say their prayers rather before supper than after ; because after supper , they are more apt to be very dull and sleepy , and thereby less fit for such a performance . god is not to be served with the refuse of our thoughts , and with sluggish sleepy desires ; but with our best and most lively affections , and with the strength and fervour of our desires . you are to prevent their omitting their prayers at any one time ; because doing so once or twice , they are apt to neglect them wholly , or to return to them with great aversness : whereas custom and constancy in performing their devotions , will make them much more easie and pleasant to them . when they are possessed with more perfect and solid thoughts about religion , with stronger and more lively impressions of divine things , and are able without great difficulty to express the sense of their souls ; they may do what they find serves best the great purposes of devotion : if praying without restraining themselves to any particular form of words , contribute more to their fervency and elevation of mind in prayer , let them pray without using a form : but , if they find that their minds are more stayed and fixed , and their fervency and devotion greater in the use of a form than without it , let them do that which they find best . when they pray for outward and temporal things , teach them to do it with an entire submission to the will of god , who hath promised perishing things conditionally , that is , so far as he sees the bestowing of them will be for his glory , and the good of his children : therefore they must not be peremptory , vehement , and importunate in their desires and prayers for such things , but ought to pray for them with great humility and resignation to the divine will. as for spiritual blessings , to wit , the pardon of sin , the direction and assistance of the spirit of god , his grace to help them in time of need , power and strength to fight against the devil , the world , and the flesh , &c. these things are to be prayed for with all the importunity and earnestness that is possible . the more vehement and fervent their desires and prayers are for such things , the more acceptable are they to god , and the more likely to obtain from him the desires of their souls ; for he hath promised , to satisfie the longing soul with good things . as it is the duty of parents to teach their children to pray morning and evening , so they ought to teach them , always to bless god before and after meals . you ought at first , when they begin to speak , to cause them to say after you , or after those who attend them , two or three words , before and after meat . and when they come to greater capacity , teach them a larger form. this will , in due time , be a means to excite in their minds a sense of the power and goodness of god , of their dependance upon him for all needful things , both for soul and body , and of their own weakness and indigence . 4. duty , to observe carefully their temper and disposition , and to endeavour to reform what is amiss therein . fourthly , observe carefully their temper and disposition , what vices they are most inclined to ; if they are sturdy and proud , peevish and passionate , malicious and revengeful , false and deceitful , rash and unadvised , &c. endeavour , all you can , to reform them , and to bend their minds the right way . for example , if they are sturdy and proud , strive to humble them , to break them , to tame their proud spirits ; accustom them to the doing acts of humility ; do not gratifie them in those things which are apt to make them proud ; cause them to yield and submit to your will , or to the will of others whom you think fit they should obey . accustom them , now and then , to a refusal of what they would have , especially when you see them too eager to have it . this you may do in small matters , which they may be without very safely : by which means you will prepare them to bear with a refusal in things of greater moment , ( which are either inconvenient for them to have , or for you to give ) and to be willing to have them , or want them , as you shall think fit . if once this foundation is laid , it will make the rest of your work a great deal more easie , in the education of your children . if you once take their will from them , you may then do with them what you please . but if , instead of this , you gratifie them in whatever they have a mind to , and suffer them to live according to their own will and humour , whether it be right or wrong , you may then expect , that when they are grown up , they will improve to their own hurt and your grief , the excessive liberty they had when they were young . as then you left them to do their own will , so now they will do it , whether you will or not . if they be given to lying , shew them the evil of it , that a lying tongue is an abomination to the lord , prov. 6. 16 , 17. and ch. 12. 22. that the devil is the father of lyars ; and that they are in the number of those that are shut out of the new jerusalem , and have their part in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone , rev. 21. 8. and 22. 15. shew them how great hurt it will do them , and what shame it will bring upon them ; that if they be found lyars , people will not believe them , even when they speak truth . encourage them to confess their faults , if they have done any thing amiss ; be apt to pardon them when they confess , and tell the truth ; and commend them for doing so : but if you find them in a lye , be sure to chastise them for it , especially if they have done it oftner than once . nothing tends more to the spoiling of children , than their getting into such a habit : this is a vice that grows up apace , if not timely cured by good education ; thereby they learn to grow so false and disingenuous , that they are not fit to be trusted or employed . if you observe them to be cunning , and full of little arts and wiles , to deceive those who are simple and good natur'd ; strive to temper this wisdom of the serpent , with the harmlesness and innocence of the dove . teach them to use their wisdom , in doing their duty as well as they can ; in carrying on such good and useful designs , as are suitable to their age ; and in taking heed lest others deceive them . endeavour to make them understand , that golden rule , which our saviour gives us , mat. 7. 12. all things whatsoever you would that men should do to you , do ye even so to them . shew them , that , at last , honesty will be found to be the best policy . that they that walk uprightly , walk surely . prov. 10. 9. that god will be a buckler to them that walk uprightly , ( prov. 2. 7. ) that is , he will protect such persons , and save them from mischief and destruction . endeavour , all that is possible , to make them lovers of sincerity and of godly simplicity ; and strive to possess them with a just abhorrence of any thing that looks like cheating and deceiving . if they are of a peevish and passionate temper , easily put out of humour with every little thing , and apt to fly out into passion for a small matter ; endeavour to make them of a calm and mild temper , meek and gentle , and of a well governed and composed spirit . teach them to bridle their passion , to restrain the inward boyling of their anger , and not to suffer it to break forth into indecent words and actions . shew them , what an excellent thing it is , for one to rule his spirit , which , solomon says , is better than to take a city , prov. 16. 32. shew them , what sad consequences attend an unruly passion ; and what mad and foolish things some have done , when they were angry . 't will not be amiss , to take occasion to shew them , how one looks , and what he does , when he is transported by his passion ; and endeavour thereby , to possess them with a great abhorrence of this vice , which renders those who are guilty of it , such sad and deformed spectacles . often suggest to them the example of our blessed master ; who , when he was reviled , reviled not again ; who , endured the contradiction of sinners against himself ; and who commanded us , to learn of him , who was meek and lowly , mat. 11. 29. if you perceive them to be naturally very revengeful and malicious , ready to do all manner of mischief to those , who have cross'd them or vex'd them in any thing ; endeavour all that you can , to deliver them from so woful and unhappy a temper ; and to make them love those , who have done or said somewhat that was uneasie to them , and to embrace all occasions of doing them kind offices , that so they may learn to overcome evil with good . do not encourage them to say ill of those , who have said ill of them ; for this were to feed and cherrish their revengeful humour . shew them the example of our blessed saviour , who loved his enemies , yea died for them ; and requires of all his followers , to love their enemies . shew them , what a noble victory it is over an enemy , to overcome him with the weapons of kindness , by doing him good offices ; and what happy effects attend this christian temper . acquaint them likewise , with the many sad consequences of revenge , whereby such persons who give way thereto , seldom fail to bring upon themselves , if not their whole family , utter ruin and destruction . parents ought so much the more , to strive to beget a mighty sense of this duty upon their childrens minds , because it seems , most of all other thing to be neglected by the generality 〈◊〉 christians . if you find your ch●●dren apt to be very jealo●● and suspicious , endeavo● to free them from so bad temper , which will lay the foundatio● of perpetual uneasiness and disquiet , 〈◊〉 it be not speedily cured . strive 〈◊〉 make them think favourably , and 〈◊〉 hope and believe the best of ever●●body . shew them , how much bett● it is , to be mistaken often in their f●●vourable construction , than to jud● amiss of any body , tho' but once ; th● this is a sin , which the other is not . but tho' parents oug● thus , to endeavour to fr● their children from th● jealous and uncharitable temper , y● care must be taken , that they be n● too credulous , apt to believe whateve● is spoken , without any regard to th● authority and credibility , the trut● and sincerity of the speaker : for , 〈◊〉 being of such a temper as this , th● are in danger perpetually of being imposed upon , and betrayed to a gre● many inconveniences , both in the● words and actions : any body who has but wit enough , to find out their temper , may very easily make a prey of them , and by false relations , and cunning insinuations , may occasion their saying and doing a great many things , very hurtful to themselves or others , or at least very silly and impertinent , which will expose them to a great deal of contempt and scorn . parents therefore , ought to look upon it as a matter of no small importance , to preserve their children from being too credulous ; they ought to teach them to enquire into the truth of what is spoken , and to consider who the person is that speaketh . for if it be manifest , that he who speaketh , is ordinarily given to lying , and that he makes no conscience of his words ; it is so far from being a fault , not to believe him ; that , on the contrary , 't is a piece of very great silliness , to make any account of what he says , until it be confirmed by persons of known truth , and of unquestioned integrity . if they are of an envious temper , and cannot endure that others be loved as well as they , or that others should have better and fine things than they , or ev'n as good : endeavour to cure them of this distemper , by all such arguments and methods , as their years are capable of shew them how great mischief thei● envy does them ; how it robs them o● the happiness and comfort of their lives , and eats out all that sweetness and pleasure they might otherwise ta●● in what they enjoy . shew them , what a foolish thing their envy is ; it cannot affect or hurt others , it only hurt● themselves , which it does with a witness ; for , as solomon says , prov. 14. 30. envy is the rottenness of the bones ; that is , it wasts and consumes to the very bones , those who entertain so unlucky a guest ; it makes their life most miserable . if you perceive them to be very impatient , when they have not presently what they desire , or when any uneasie thing happeneth unto them ; for example , when their head akes a little , or when any other part of their body is affected , more or less , with somewhat that is painful and smarting , &c. endeavour to make them of a patient spirit ; teach them to bear their burthen without much complaining or making an indecent noise . make them sensible , that all those things , which are so painful and afflictive to them , are order'd by the wise and just providence of god , to try them , to humble them , to raise their hearts to heaven , to purifie them from their dross , to prepare them for greater sufferings , to stir them up to call upon him , and to learn to depend upon him , and to resign themselves entirely to his holy will and pleasure . shew them , that whatever they suffer , is far less than they deserve ; that a great many excellent and holy persons , have endured much more severe things without complaining or murmuring ; yea , that ev'n some heathens have , with great firmness and constancy of mind , endured a great deal of pain and torture . above all , suggest unto them , what our blessed lord and master suffered , in his soul , and in his body ; and how , for our sakes , he endured all with wonderful patience , and with an entire submission to the will of his father ; how , he was led as a sheep to the slaughter ; how , he was oppressed and afflicted , and yet opened not his mouth . shew the● , how it becometh them , who by profession are christ's followers , to run with patience the race set before them , looking unto jesus . encourage them also , with the hopes of an exceeding and eternal weight of glory , which attends those who endure these ligh● afflictions which last but for a moment . if you see that they love their belly too well , and are apt to eat and drink more than is meet , and that they are too desirous of such food as is most costly and chargeable ; endeavour to restrain their gluttonous appetite , and to keep them within the bounds of moderation and sobriety ; * teach them , to be well pleased with plain and ordinary fare ; to consider , that any thing , tho' never so course , is better than they deserve ; that a great many excellent persons have been reduced to such straits , as to think it a feast , to have enough of bread and water . tell them , how meanly a great many people , both young and old , live at this very instant ; and therefore , that they ought to be content with such food as is provided for them , to use it soberly , and to be heartily thankful to god , from whom they have meat and drink , and all other things , which are for the comfort and conveniency of their lives . if you observe in them any thing that looks like a tendency to an unchaste behaviour , delay not to admonish them ; shew them the evil of such things , and the dreadful consequences thereof , both to soul and body . endeavour to prevent their falling into so horrible a pit , out of which very few escape , who have once fal'n thereinto ; and of which , the wiseman says , prov. 22. 14. he that is abhorred of the lord , shall fall therein ; and again , ch . 2. 18 , 19. speaking of the adulteress or whore , he saith ; her house inclineth unto death , and her paths unto the dead ; none that go unto her return again , neither take they hold of the paths of life . shew them , into how great shame and disgrace , and into how much misery , such persons ordinarily bring themselves . sugge● to them , how many other sins attend this vice , as its inseparable companions ; whereby the soul is so deeply corrupted , as to lose all sense of any thing that is truly excellent , and worthy of a rational creature . strive to make them sensible , of the miserable bondage of those , who are under the power and tyranny of their unruly lusts and appetites , who are enslaved to the pleasures of the flesh. endeavour to make them tast of those solid and manly delights , which are only to be found in the ways of true vertue and unfeigned piety , which are infinitely more pure and lasting , than those brutish pleasures which sensualists pursue and do what in you lies to preserve them from seeing and hearing any thing that is unchaste and impure , * or has the appearance of it . if you find that at any time they curse and swear , and take the name of god in vain , endeavour to rescue them from so horrid and dangerous a sin. shew them , that they who practise this vice , have no profit nor pleasure to tempt them thereto ; that they sell their souls to the devil for nothing ; and that they are so far from having any real gain thereby , that they must needs , at some time or other , find no small inconvenience by it , as to their temporal concerns ; for they that are wise , and have any sence of religion , cannot chuse but avoid having much dealings with them , whom they see to be utterly void of the fear of god * shew them what a great dishonour 't is to god , their great lord and master , their creator and preserver , for poor worms thus to dare to rend and tear , as it were , his most sacred and blessed name ; and how much he is provoked thereby , to inflict his most heavy and severe judgments upon such bold sinners , he will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain . ex. 20. 7. that is , tho' men pass by such offenders , and do not punish them , yet god will look after them , he will call them to an account , and be avenged upon them ; he will not fail to punish them . this is reckoned up , hos. 4. 1 , 2 , 3. as one of the crying sins , for which god had a controversie with the israelites , and for which he threatened that their land should mourn , and that every one that dwelt therein should languish , &c. if they are of a very unconstant and unsetled temper , so that they can never fix at any thing , nor continue in their purpose and resolution ; strive to fix them and to render them of a more staid and setled mind . if what they have resolved or ▪ begun to do , be not contrary to the laws of god and men , nor any way ▪ prejudicial to themselves or others ; it is very adviseable for you , now and then , to keep them close to their resolution or undertaking . though the thing be not worth a rush in it self , which they purpose or undertake , yet their being accustomed to do what they have once resolved , disposeth them to be constant and firm in more useful and excellent purposes ▪ and designs ; and besides , it makes the performance of any thing a great deal more easie , when the spirits can fix at it , until it be accomplished . whereas , if way be given to a fickle and changeable humour , it gets strength daily , and at last grows so very powerful and tyrannical , that they who are under its unhappy influence , are like a feather driven to and fro with the wind ; they are never able to settle to any thing , tho' never so necessary and important , and so , very ordinarily , prove good for nothing . if you perceive them to be surly , of a rough and morose , an uncivil and disobling carriage : strive to cure them of such an unhappy temper . teach them to be courteous and affable , civil and obliging to every body , and carefully to avoid whatever looks like neglect and contempt . shew them how useful and serviceable , or how hurtful and dangerous , the meanest person may be to them , at some time or other . * tell them the fable of the lion and the mouse , how , when the mouse troubled the sleeping lion , and disturbed him , the lion was ready in great wrath to have torn it in pieces ; but the mouse begged of him to spare him , for he was but a poor mouse , not worthy of his wrath , and might live to do him some service . the lion was prevailed with to let him go : afterwards it happened , that the lion was intangled in a net , out of which , as great and mighty as he was , he could not deliver himself . but the mouse , remembring the lion's generosity , ate a●under the net , and so set him at liberty . hence you may infer to them , how fit and advantageous it is , by a courteous and civil behaviour , to oblige the poorest and most inconsiderable person , who once in seven years , may be able to do them , either a very great kindness , or a great deal of mischief . as you ought to take care , that your children be very civil and courteous to all , so in a more especial manner to aged persons , whom god has commanded to be honoured and respected , levit. 19. 32. thou shalt rise up before the hoary head , and honour the face of the old man. parents ought to consider , that they may live till they be old , if they be not so already ; and therefore they ought to teach their children to honour aged persons , lest by permitting them to carry themselves disrespectfully and insolently towards them , they themselves should meet with neglect and contempt from them ; which falls out but too often . how worthy of praise were the noble spartans , who honoured all aged persons very much ? * one of them being asked , why their young people rose up to the aged , gave this answer ; that , by being accustomed thus to honour others , they might so much the more honour their own parents . and here i cannot but mention another very notable instance , concerning these spartans ; which is this . * when an old man came to see the olympick games , he went about to look for a seat ; but the graecians neglected and mocked him , till at last coming where the spartans fate , all the children rose up to him , and several more aged persons gave place to him . when the rest of the graecians , ( who had been themselves disrespectful towards him ) applauded the custom of the spartans , and highly commended them for it ; the old man stroking down his beard , said , alas ! what a sad thing is this ? all the graecians know what is good and honourable , but the spartans only practise it . if you observe your children , to be very apt to quarrel and contend with one another , and to fall by the ears together ; be careful to remove their debates , and to make them love one another . by no means wink at their contentions , especially if they be grown up a little . when such relations are at variance together , they are of all others the most violent in their hatred against one another . witness the rage and fury of cain against abel , of esau against jacob , of joseph's brethren against him . a brother offended , saith solomon , prov. 18. 19. is harder to be won than a strong city , and their contentions are like the bars of a castle . the learned philosopher and historian plutarch , * reckons it among the things which are next to impossible , for brethren once at variance , to be afterwards throughly reconciled to one another . as one member of the body , torn or cut off from the other , can hardly be glued and joyned together again ; so , says he , when brethren have once fallen from their natural affection , and are possessed with bitterness and wrath against one another , they seldom unite closely any more ; their reconciliation is ordinarily but skinned over ; whereas , there still remains under the appearance of friendship , a grievous sore ready to break out . how much is it therefore your duty , to prevent all manner of strife and division among your children , and if debates arise among them , to do your utmost to remove them . teach them to yield and to condescend to one another , to take pleasure in gratifying , rather than in overcoming one another , to rejoice in the company of one another , to be mightily concerned for one another's happiness and welfare , to be upon all occasions ready to help and assist one another , to sympathize very tenderly with one another , in any pain , grief , or loss ; and in a loving and friendly manner , to tell one another of their faults , without publishing of them . do not encourage them to speak ill of one another , and to report every little thing , whereby they think to lessen one another in your esteem and affection . such things use to be the seeds of discord and contention amongst children , and therefore wise parents ought to prevent them , as much as may be . if you find them over curious to know what may be their lot and fortune , as 't is called , in the world , and therefore apt to hearken to gypsies and fortune-tellers , to consult with divinatory books , and to use such other wicked , tho' but too common arts , for gratifying their curiosity ; do what in your lyes , to deliver them from such dangerous and unlawful practices . shew them what is written , levit. 20. 6. the soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits , and after wizards , to go a whoring after them , i will even set my fave against that soul , and will ●ut him off from among his people . and isa. 8. 19. when they shall say unto you , seek unto them that have familiar spirits , and unto wizards that peep and that mutter : should not a people seek unto their god ? likewise , deut. 18. 10 , 11. there shall not be found among you any one that useth divination a , or an observer of times b , or an inchanter , or a witch , or a charmer , or a consulter with familiar spirits c , or a wizard , or a necromancer d . for all that do these things are an abomination unto the lord. shew them , that they who follow such courses , do thereby provoke god to leave them , and to deliver them over to the wicked one , that he may bring upon them those calamities and judgments which they deserve , and which perhaps they were told should happen to them : not , as if those pretenders to prophecy did infallibl● know what would come to pass , which most certainly they do not ; but god in his righteous judgment , doth often punish with some remarkable stroke , such curious persons , who presume to enquire into those things which he has thought fit to conceal from them : 't is said of saul , 1 chron. 10. 13 , 14. that , he died for his transgression , and also for asking counsel of one that had a familiar spirit , to enquire of it , and enquired not of the lord : therefore he slew him . and tho' they who have been guilty of such impious enquiries , shall be delivered from eternal condemnation , and possibly from some great punishments in this life , if they sincerely repent of their sin , and folly ; yet oftentimes , they suffer not a little from the impressions which are made on their fancy , by their having heard that some tragical thing or other should befall them . how many , even good people , having found unspeakable uneasiness , almost all their life time , only by having heard it said , without their own asking , by such impious pretenders to divination , that thus or thus it should happen to them : tho' they abhorred and despised such things , and did what they could to be delivered from having any reflections upon them , yet now and then , of a sudden , their fancy has been struck therewith , which did not a little disquiet and disturb them . from all which , it appears , how necessary it is for parents , to prevent their childrens doing such things . shew them , that their only safe way , is , to be always careful to do what is good and right , to make the laws of god their rule , to seek his glory as their chief end , to depend on him for direction and assistance , never to be anxious about what is to come , but to leave all events to his wise and good providence ; humbly to resign themselves to his holy will and pleasure , and to be always ready to be disposed of as he shall see fit . tell them , ( which you may do with great assurance ) that if they do these things , they may be confident , that all shall be well ; for god will not fail , according to his promise , to make all things , even the greatest afflictions , work together for good to them that love him . rom. 8. 28. if you perceive them to be unthankful for favours and benefits , so as not to take notice of those who help and assist them , and who have done them , or are always ready to do them good offices ; endeavour to cure them of this very ill quality . cause them to thank those who are kind and serviceable to them ; strive to make them retain a lasting sense of kindnesses , and to be ready when there is an opportunity , to make some fit acknowledgment and return : for which end , 't will be convenient now and then , to give them some small matter , according to your quality , for a present to those who have been at some pains to serve them , or who have been very bountiful or generous to them . and when they make an acknowledgment for favors received , advise them to do it with a chearful countenance , so as to express thereby the inward sense of their minds , that they , to whom they make the return of kindness , may see how hearty and real they are , that they do it , not grudgingly , but very willingly . there is the greater need , to instil into your childrens minds , principles of gratitude , because 't is so very common amongst men to be unthankful . for , what is there more common , than to see those neglected and slighted , who have been very kind and serviceable ? how many root up those , by whom themselves have been planted ? how many basely betray their truest friends and greatest benefactors ? how many think it a disparagement , to be so much as thought to be beholden to others , tho' their obligations be very great ? now , what can there be more base and abominable , than such a temper as this ? what villany and wickedness seem they not likely to commit , who have no sense of benefits ? the apostle paul reckoneth unthankfulness amongst the great sins , which make the last days perilous and difficult . 2 tim. 3. 2. to excite your children to be thankful ; shew them , how great an abhorrence the very heathens had of ingratitude ; they thought it one of the worst things you could say of them , to call them unthankful * ; they reckoned that this name , included all the bad things that could be imagined ; that unthankfulness was the fountain , from whence the greatest vices did spring . see sen. de benef. l. 1. c. 10. 't was a very excellent and commendable custom amongst the persians * , , that they who were over their children , amongst other things , taught them gratitude ; so that if any of the boys was able to make a grateful return , but did it not , they punished him severely ; for they judged , that they who were unthankful , would also neglect their duty to god , to their parents , their country , and friends . amongst other things to be suggested to your children , to stir them up to be thankful , you may represent to them , what a shame it is for them to be unthankful , when the very beasts , both tame ( as may be seen every day ) and wild , ( as several authors * tell us ) do things which look like a grateful acknowledgment to their benefactors . if you find them to be of too prodigal a temper , apt to be too profuse in their expences ; ready to throw away their money upon trifles , and when there is no reasonable occasion for it ; you ought by all prudent and proper methods to endeavour to make them a little more discreet and careful ; that they waste nothing in vain , that may be of use to poor people ; that they do not throw away that which may do good at some time or other . suggest often to them , that we are stewards of whatever god bestows upon us , that he will call us to an account ; and that therefore we ought to employ to good purpose all those good things he gives us . shew them what our saviour said to his disciples , after he had fed five thousand men with five loaves and two fishes , joh. 6. 12. when they were filled , he said unto his disciples , gather up the fragments that remain , that nothing be lost . he would not have any thing lost , 〈◊〉 thrown away unnecessarily , whi● might be useful afterwards to one 〈◊〉 other . if you find them of a covetous temper ; endeavou● to enlarge their thoughts b● the principles of christian charity shew them what an excellent thi● it is to do good ; to shew mercy an● kindness ; to make peoples hearts glad● accustom them to the doing such kin● and charitable offices ; for which en● give them now and then money , an● other things , to bestow on those wh● are poor and needy . shew them th● evil of covetousness ; that it 's the ro● of all evil , * that it take● the heart off from god , an● rendereth it unfit for th● consideration of divin● things , and for all worthy and useful designs ; that it disposeth● man for the basest and vilest action● and undertakings , as it did judas to betray his lord ; that it bereaves him of true repose and satisfaction of mind , and pierceth him through with many sorrows . 1 tim. 6. 9. 10. if you perceive them to be naturally melancholy , and fearful of every little thing , endeavour to chear up their spirits : suggest to them such considerations , and possess them with such maxims and principles , as tend to fortifie their minds against those things which are apt to make them uneasie , and are the occasion of their fear . if their distemper proceed from some bodily indisposition , as oft-times it does , use such helps as are necessary : when such evil habits of body are once rooted and strongly fixed , and when the blood and spirits are deeply infected therewith , they are a very grievous clog to the soul , and a great hindrance to that chearfulness and liberty of spirit , wherewith people ought always to endeavour to serve god. if you see them to be of too gay and airy a temper , so that they cannot fix and be stayed at any time ; you are to use a great deal of prudence and discretion to compose and settle their spirits ; see that they use their wit and fancy without giving offence , and that they hurt no body by indecent reflections : let them by no means take liberty to indulge their humour in jesting about things that are sacred , or that have any relation thereto . but you are to take heed lest your endeavouring to cure one fault , occasion another ; lest your striving to deliver them from one extream , drive them to the contrary ; that is , lest instead of their being too gay , you make them melancholy and dull : their wit and spirit is not to be rooted out , but reformed and rightly managed ; for this may be of use , for seasoning and sweetning conversation . if you observe them to be rash and forward , ready to speak and act without due consideration ; strive to make them more cautious and circumspect ; to reflect and think a little more , on what they say and do ; lest otherwise , they fall into a habit of speaking and acting impertinently and indiscreetly . when they say or do a foolish thing , for lack of consideration , then take occasion to make them sensible what a shame it is for them to do so ; what a reproach to those who are reasonable creatures , to speak and act like fools without reason and understanding : shew them some of the bad consequences which attend speaking and acting in this manner . particularly , that such persons not only expose themselves to contempt and scorn , but likewise to a great deal of danger and trouble . tell them , how a great many , by their rash and unadvised , though not ill intended , speeches and actions , have not only highly exasperated their enemies , but also provoked their friends , and forfeited their kindness , which thereby has been changed sometimes into the utmost indignation and hatred . shew them , how some , by this means , have lost their estate , their honour , and life it self : and not only have ruined themselves by their rashness and folly , but likewise a great many of their best friends and dearest relations . a due sense of these things ought to excite all parents to do what they can , to render their children very considerate and wary in whatever they say or do . and because , for lack of knowledge and experience , they are in hazard to fall into many miscarriages , and to commit great absurdities , if they govern themselves wholly by their own fancy and apprehension , or by their inclinations and desires , therefore direct them to ask you , or to ask others , whom you recommend to them , whether it be fit for them to do this or that , which they have a mind to do . it will be of unspeakable advantage to them all their life long , to learn this piece of wisdom betimes , to wit , to be jealous , and not too confident of their own apprehensions and opinions , and to have a great regard for the judgment and opinion of others . solomon makes this a distinguishing mark betwixt a wise man and a fool , that the way of a fool is right in his own eyes , ( and therefore he scorns to ask the opinion , or to follow the advice of others ; ) but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise . prov. 12. 15. thus you are to make it your business to watch over your children , and to consider what are their defects and faults , and to do all that you can to cure them thereof , and to direct them in the ways of wisdom and virtue . you are careful to pluck up the weeds in your gardens , while they are yet young , and not deeply rooted , lest otherwise the good seeds should be choak'd up with them . how much more careful ought you to be , lest the souls of your children should be over-run with vicious qualities ? if your childrens limbs are crooked and very deform'd , you are at great pains and sometimes at no small charge likewise , so long as there is hopes of success , to make them straight and comly . ought you not to be at as much pains at least for their souls ? ought you not to do what in you lies , to shape and frame them to virtue and piety , that they may become amiable and acceptable in the sight of god ? 5. duty , to see that they be taught to read. fifthly , when once they are of an age fit for it , see that they be taught to read . and if you have not leisure , or perhaps have not skill to teach them your selves , you must be careful to make choice of a skilful and discreet person to do it ; who by his teaching and example , may train them up both in knowledge and virtue ; who may not only tea● them to know the letters , to spel● exactly , to read distinctly , to write well , &c. but also to know themselves to remember their creator in the days 〈◊〉 their youth , to hate every evil way , and to take delight in the ways of god's holy commandments . if a careful choice be made of a wise and faithful● school-master for your children , i● will render your work so much the mor● easie . having sent your children to school , you must keep them there , and not by your too great fondness make them long to be at home , and grow weary and uneasie at school . a great many indiscreet parents ruin their children by immoderate kindness ; they cannot endure that they should be out of their sight one day . they are afraid , lest they that teach them should correct them , and therefore they give them a strict charge not to do it ; and if they do it never so gently and discreetly , without more ado they remove their children from them , and discharge their passion against them as the greatest tyrants in the world. 't is true , some , who have the charge of children , are very indiscreet in correcting them , they pass beyond all bounds of moderation ; and by their tyrannical carriage towards them , they do them a world of mischief in many respects . as for such school-masters , parents ought , if it be possible , to avoid sending of their children unto them . but when once they have made choice of those , who are not only pious , but wise and discreet persons , who are skilful in the way of teaching , and are of a calm and mild spirit ; they ought to be so far from restraining them , that they should rather encourage them to correct them whenever there is any necessity for it . and if , at any time , their children complain to them of their having been corrected , they ought to let them know , that they are very well pleased that they have been corrected for their faults , and that they will thank their school-master for having done so . unless such a power as this be given to those who teach children , there is no great probability of their doing much good to th● far greatest part of them : for , as solomon says , prov. 22. 15. foolishness 〈◊〉 bound in the heart of a child , and therefore there is need of the rod of correction to drive it far from him . ' t● but too manifest , that children wh● know their parents fondness , prove unruly and untractable , and do generall● become very wicked and naughty . when once they find themselves a liberty , and see that they are in 〈◊〉 great danger of being curb'd and restrain'd , they are apt to follow th● biass of their corrupt inclinations ▪ and then it often cometh to pass what is said by the wise man , prov. 29 15. a child left to himself bringeth 〈◊〉 mother to shame . the mother only 〈◊〉 mentioned , because ordinarily , she 〈◊〉 more apt to exceed just bounds in he● indulgence , and consequently has 〈◊〉 great hand in spoiling her child : an● besides , when her child brings hurt an● disgrace upon himself , by his wicked and foolish courses , she useth to be more deeply affected therewith , through the tenderness of her nature , and the strength and violence of her affection and passion . now , to stir up parents to take care their children be taught to read , at least the holy bible ; let them consider , that this sacred book will instruct them in the art of being happy ; how to be saved ; how to obtain a crown of glory ; how to purchase an enduring substance , a pearl of great price , and a kingdom which cannot be shaken : it will teach them true wisdom ; how to avoid sin , and to escape danger ; how to resist the devil , to stand against his wiles , to quench his fiery darts ; how to overcome the world , and to mortifie the flesh with its affections and lusts ; how to subdue their natural corruption , and to conquer all their wicked habits and customs ; how to redeem the time ; how to carry themselves as they ought to do in their several capacities and relations , wherein god hath placed them in the world ; how to enjoy satisfaction and contentment in every state and condition of life ; how to use aright the things of this world ; how to improve prosperity , and how to reap advantage from adversity ; how to dwell at ease , and to enjoy real peace and comfort amidst the greatest vexations and confusions that can happen . all these things the holy scriptures will teach both you and them , if they are read as they ought to be , to wit , with a serious and humble mind , with an earnest desire to know the will of god , and with a firm and sincere resolution to do it . and therefore , how careful ought you to be , in so considerable a part of your duty towards your children ? if your condition in the world is such , as disables you from doing much for them as to their outward estate , yet if you do this , it may prove ( unless it be their own fault ) of unspeakable advantage to them , and , in some sense , better than a great portion , or than a gainful trade , as may appear from what has been said . when once they can read tollerably well in the holy bible , be careful that they do it more or less every day : see that they do it with great reverence , as being the word of god : cause them to consider who it is that speaketh to them therein ; and what it is that he commands , promises , or threatens ; direct them at first to read such places , as are most easie to be understood , and which are apt to make the deepest impressions : after they have read , see what they remember ; cause them to tell you what they can call to mind : explain to them so far as you are able , what they do not know ; especially in such things as are most useful to make them wiser and better . appoint them now and then a verse or two , to get by heart ; cause them to repeat them with due gravity ; let them not do it in a trifling manner , as if they were telling a silly story . do not appoint them too many things to be got by heart , for this will do more hurt than good : a few things well understood do better than a great many by rote . be careful lest they read any books which tend to poyson their minds , to fill them with false opinions , or to lead them to bad practices : their tender minds are apt very quickly to be corrupted by such treatises . even they who are of a more fixed and solid virtue , are in danger of receiving hurt by reading such books ; especially when they are writ with great art , and when their notions are represented in fair and beautiful colours ; they are apt to impress on the fancy some images of no good consequence to the soul : how great need therefore have parents to restrain their children from reading such books as tend to pollute their innocent and chaste minds , which are capable of receiving any sort of impressions either good or bad ? as for books of devotion ; great care is to be taken , that only such be put into their hands as are writ in a plain and easie style ; which treat of things fit and needful to be known by them ; and which are most likely to make them wise and good. they are to be accustomed to the writings of those who are men of greatest moderation ; who do not impose their own conceits , as necessary rules of devotion ; who do not require such things as absolutely needful to be done , which god hath not declared to be so ; nor yet who shorten the rule , by cutting off such things as god hath injoyned us : all books which lead men to extreams , are carefully to be avoided ; and such treatises are to be made use of , as contain the plain and necessary doctrines of christianity ; which tend to inspire men with the spirit of purity , of truth , of peace and love ; which promote sincerity , justice , temperance , charity , meekness , humility , patience , resignation to the will of god in all things , zeal for his honour and glory , a firm belief and trust in him , &c. when it is requisite to acquaint them with the different opinions amongst protestants , that their minds may not be unfixed and unsettled , when they go abroad into the world ; be sure not to put into their hands such tracts as are writ with a fiery uncharitable spirit , and in a dogmatick and magisterial manner ; but such as are writ with great temper and moderation ; which tend to heal the church of all contentions and divisions , and not to kindle and increase them ; which do not load mens opinions with unjust , extravagant , and impious consequences , which never entred into the minds of those who vouched them ; but such as make fair and favourable constructions , and just allowances . such treatises are chiefly to be chosen for them , which dispose men to be humble and modest ; not to be stiff and pertinacious in their own private sentiments ; not rashly and severely to condemn others who have different thoughts ; and never on the account of any such particular opinions to break the peace of christian society ; nor to grow more cold in their respect and affection towards those who have not the same thoughts with themselves in lesser matters . they are , as it were , to feed upon books of this sort , and carefully to digest them . 6. duty , to bring them to the place of publick worship so soon as they are fit for it . sixthly , you are to bring them to the place of publick worship so soon as they are fit for it , that they may have the benefit of the prayers of god's people , and may learn , as they are capable , somewhat that may make them wiser and better . thus we find , when joshua read the law before the congregation ; the little ones are mentioned as present amongst the men and women . josh. 8. 35. teach them to pray to god before they go to church , and to beg of him that he would fit them and assist them , to joyn in the publick worship with unfeigned devotion , and to hear the word in a right manner . teach them also to pray for all those whom god employs to preach his word , and particularly for his servant whom they are to hear ; that he would sanctifie him , and direct and enable him to teach others the true way to life and blessedness . and as you ought to direct them what to do before they go to church , so you must take heed how they carry themselves in the house of god , that it be with all possible silence and reverence ; and that they perform their publick devotions in a decent manner . see that they do not spend their time in gazing upon others , in observing their dresses and modes , their looks and gestures ; nor yet in bowing and making courtesies to every body of their acquaintance they happen to see in the midst of their prayers . though this be too common a practice , yet it ought carefully to be avoided , as unsuitable to that seriousness , that fear and reverence , that fervency and devotion , which true worshippers of god ought to be possessed with , when in the most solemn manner they are , or ought to be employed , either in paying their homage to the king of heaven and earth , their lord , their maker , and saviour ; or in hearing the message that is delivered in his name , by his ambassadors . when they come from church , see what they remember ; if they have got any thing by heart , encourage them : if they remember nothing , you may tell them somewhat or other of the sermon which is fit for them to learn. stir them up so soon as their years are fit for it , to meditate more or less on what they have heard , that so the word of god may profit them . shew them , that as their food cannot nourish them , if their stomach do not concoct and digest what they eat and drink , so neither will the word of god nourish , quicken , and strengthen their souls , if they do not , by serious meditation , digest what they read and hear . endeavour by their constant attendance on the publick worship , to beget in them a mighty regard thereto , as being one great means appointed of god to increase in them true knowledge and piety . let them not spend the rest of the lords day in rambling about ; but , so far as their age can bear it , let them be imployed usefully . shew them why they should observe this day , to wit , because on it our blessed lord jesus christ , rose from the grave , triumphed over death , and finished the work of our redemption . as he was delivered ( and died ) for our offences , so he was raised again for our justification . rom. 4. 25. to us the lord's day , saith one of the ancients , * is therefore venerable , and to be observed in a solemn manner , because thereon our saviour , as the rising sun , having dispelled the darkness of death , shone forth by the light of his resurrection . 't will not be unfit , to acquaint them with some instances of god's righteous and dreadful judgments , against prophaners of this day ; and particularly , how a great many , who have come to an untimely end , confessed and acknowledged , before their death , that their slighting and profaneing this day , made way for all those villanies , and impieties , which at last brought god's heavy judgments upon them . that your children may attend the publick devotions of the church , and the preaching of the gospel , with greater profit and advantage ; 't is necessary that you endeavour to possess them with a great regard , for those whom god employs in so holy a service , that they may esteem them very highly in love for their works sake . 1 thes. 5. 13. when the persons employed in divine ministraitons are loved and esteemed , their doctrine is apt to make the greater impression , and to be the more successful : whereas , if people are prejudic'd against them , tho' never so unjustly , what they say will be slighted , or very little regarded for most part , even tho' what is spoken be most excellent in it self , and expressed in such a manner , as might otherwise very much affect and excite the dullest hearers . the truth of this , did not only appear in the holy prophets , but in our most blessed master himself , who , tho' he spake as never man spake , yet what he said was but very little regarded by most part of the jews , and ev'n by his own brethren and kinsmen , who were possess'd with most unjust and groundless prejudices against him . the consideration of this , ought to make you careful , to beget in your children a due sense of the dignity and excellency of the pastoral office , and likewise a just value for the persons themselves , whom god makes use of to minister unto him in holy things , whom he calls to be the guides of souls and stewards of the mysteries of god. if men have a great respect for ministers of state , and for the ambassadors of earthly princes , who are employ'd to manage the concerns of the kingdoms or principalities of this world ; shall they account the ministers and ambassadors of jesus christ , unworthy of the least regard and esteem ? whom the king of kings and lord of lords , hath chosen out of the rest of mankind , and whom he hath set apart for his own immediate service , to publish his will , and to offer life and salvation to the sons of men , to rescue them from their evil courses , to direct them what they must do to be saved , and to shew them , not only by their doctrine but example , the way wherein they ought to go . and tho' some of those who are of this sacred employment , are far from being what they should , yet you must be careful what you say concerning them before your children ; you ought to keep from their knowledge , such faults and blemishes as are not obvious and notorious . beware of taking occasion of reproaching them , and thinking meanly of them , for their infirmities . and when their miscarriages are very heinous and such as cannot be concealed , you ought to take care , not to aggravate them or make them worse , but to speak of them so , as your children may see , you are only enemies to their vices , and not to their persons or holy office. that you may fortifie your children against the danger they are in from such sad examples , shew them , that our holy religion is not the worse , because some of those who are ministers do not live suitably to their calling and profession ; that it is men ( the best of whom are imperfect and sinful , and subject to the like passions with others ) and not angels , who are put by god in the office of the ministry : that amongst the twelve apostles of our blessed master and saviour , one of them was a thief and a traitor ; that the holy doctrine which such persons preach , is not in it self the less excellent , and worthy of acceptation , because it is delivered by those who do not live as they preach ; that there were many such teachers in the days of our saviour , and yet he for had not the jews to hear them , only he gave them a caution to beware of their ill example . the scribes and pharisees , says he , mat. 23. 2 , 3. sit in moses seat , and therefore whatever they bid you observe , that observe and do ; but do not ye after their works , for they say , and do not . i thought it so much the more necessary to suggest this direction , because 't is none of the least sins of this age and kingdom , that too many are very apt to despise and speak ill of the ministers of jesus christ ; to listen to all reports which are to their disadvantage , to believe them too readily , and to repeat them in all companies , and even before their children with a great deal of pleasure . and there want not those who have a very fruitful invention on this subject , who contrive a great many stories , to bespatter them , and to lessen and destroy their reputation ; whereby they too successfully promote the kingdom of satan , and shew themselves to be his ministers . when once the great enemy of souls has gain'd this point , to make the persons of ministers contemptible , 't will be no hard matter for him to make men undervalue and despise the very office it self : and what can be the consequence of this , but the rise and growth of heresies , of factions , and schisms , of atheism and irreligion , and of all that can be thought of , that is any way dishonourable to god , and destructive to the souls of men ? of all which there are but too many sad instances at this day , which are a most certain evidence of the great decay of real piety and christi●nity , and that there is but very little of true religion to be found amongst us . and as this so common contempt of the clergy is a sign of the great wickedness of the age , so it is a presage of heavy judgments . when the messengers of god were mocked , and his words despised , and his prophets abused , the wrath of the lord arose against his people , till there was no remedy . 2 chron. 36. 16. 7. duty , to make them understand their baptismal covenant . seventhly , do all that you can to make them understand their baptismal covenant ; and if there be opportunity to own and renew it publickly and solemnly , fail not to encourage their doing it . it 's of great importance for them , to make a solemn profession of their faith , and to declare their resolution of performing their baptismal promise : it is of great advantage to them , at such an occasion , to have the prayers of the church , and particularly of those , who are appointed of god , to bless the people . it is true , the great abuses which have been committed in the performance of this ancient ceremony , have made many people to slight and neglect it ; but 〈◊〉 confirmation were performed with that care and seriousness , which ought to be used on such an occasion , it is a custom which might be of marvellous benefit in the church ; both to stir up parents to instruct their children , and ministers to chatechise them , and acquaint them with those things that are needful for them to know , to believe , and to do . the careful and religious use of it , would tie children more strictly to mind the great concerns of their souls ; it would afford them occasion to consider what it is to have been baptised , and to be a christian : it would work in them a more powerful sense of the obligations of christianity ; and make them more careful to live up to that holy religion , whereof they made so publick a profession : it would make them more afraid to do bad things , against which they had protested so solemnly . and not only fear , but shame in this case , would restrain them from doing wickedly . this would be to young people a great defence against temptations : bad men would not so boldly ask them to sin , if they knew they had openly and solemnly disowned and renounced them , and all their wicked courses ; and if they were tempted , they would be more apt to say in their own minds , shall we do such wicked things , and run the hazard of being covenant-breakers , and perjured persons ? shall we commit such villanies , and practice such abominations , and thereby break our solemn vow and engagement ? shall we by our folly and impiety give occasion of offence and scandal to the church of christ , which he hath purchased with his blood ? shall we renounce the captain of our salvation , and prove deserters , who have so lately vowed to renounce the devil and all his works ? what a mighty defence would this be to your children , when assaulted by the fiery darts of the devil , the vanities of the world ▪ and the lusts of their own deceitful hearts ? to consider , that by their own actual consent , they have renounced all these , and given up themselves into the hands of god , to be kept by his mighty power , through faith unto salvation ; they have vowed , and they ought to perform it , to keep his righteous judgments . these things being impartially considered , should mightily excite parents to see that their children do openly and solemnly pro●ess their faith in christ crucified ; their resolution to obey him , to serve him , and love him , to fight under his banner , against sin , the devil , and the world , and to continue his faithful souldiers and servants unto their lives end . is not this your glory , that your children are christians ? and do you think it a shame or dishonour for you or them , if they make a solemn profession of their christianity ; that they avo● their religion , and will by god's help make good the promise which was made in their name in baptism ? of so great importance is this custom , that the greatest men amongst the reformers did highly commend it , and did earnestly wish that it might be restored as a thing of great use towards the reviving the true spirit of christianity . 8. duty , to encourage them to come to the lord's table . eightly , when they are fit for it , you should encourage them to come to the table of the lord , that they may be strengthened in their most holy faith , and further assured of the love of god ; that they may make a publick profession of their christianity , of their love to their lord and master jesus , of their charity to all men , and of their sincere affection to those who are christ's members and followers : they ought to make use of this holy sacrament , that their love to their dearest lord and saviour may be kindled and enflamed , by remembring his love , and shewing forth his death ; that they may bind themselves more strictly to serve and obey him , and to fulfil their baptismal engagement . how glad should parents be to see their children advanced to this honour , to eat and drink at their lord's table , to partake of so great a testimony of his kindness and friendship ? how earnestly should they encourage them to embrace this opportunity , of renewing their covenant with the lord , to live and to die his faithful servants ? do you not desire to have them saved , to have them delivered from their lusts and passions , their pride and vanity , their bitterness and wrath , their malice and envy , and from all manner of sin and folly ? to be made pure and clean in heart and life ; to be made meet for that holy place , where no unclean thing can enter ? do you not desire that their sins may be blotted out , that they may be washed with the blood of their saviour ? and yet do you not advise and entreat them , for their souls health and safety , to come to the holy communion ? which is designed as a means for these excellent and great ends and purposes , to as many as are qualified according to the terms of the gospel , that is , who unfeignedly repent of their sins , and believe in the lord jesus with all their heart . but , alas ! how far are too many parents from doing this for their children ? how many do either wholly , or for the most part , neglect and slight this holy ordinance themselves , as if our lord had without any just or necessary ground appointed it ? how can such persons expect the precious fruits of the death of christ , who will not remember his death , when he so lovingly and kindly calls and invites them to do it ? do this , says he , in remembrance of me . what a great argument is it , of a wonderful decay of true piety and religion in the world , when men do thus despise and set at naught the kindness of their lord and saviour ? when they refuse to do a thing , so just and reasonable , and so easie as this is ; which tends so much to his glory , and their own true happiness and welfare , both here and hereafter . 9. duty , to take care that they accustom themselves to self-examination . ninthly , when they are fit for it , see that they accustom themselves to self-examination , that they spend a few moments every night ( if another time of the day be not more convenient for them to do it in , ) in calling themselves to an account ; that they may see what good or what evil they have done ; that they may give praise and thanks unto god for any thing they have done , which was good and right ; and that they may confess their sins and follies , begging his gracious pardon , and renewing their purposes and resolutions to do better for the time to come . but besides these daily short reviews of their heart and life , 't is fit to call ●pon them , when they are well advanced i● years , to a more strict and solemn examination of themselves ; to prayer and fasting , as their age and strength can bear it . this may be done at first once a month , or once i● two months , or once a quarter at least ; but after some time , it may be done oftner , according as your necessary affairs and your circumstances in the world will permit . they who are great and rich , ought so much the more frequently , to call upon their children to those private extraordinary excrcises of devotion , because their outward estate in the world does , ordinarily , afford them enough of time and leisure for such performances , if they will but redeem it from idleness , and from a great many vain and unnecessary actions . as to their abstinence from food on such days , there 's no rule can be given to serve all persons ; if they can fast one meal or two it is well ; if not , then they may eat less at a time , and of such things as are less apt to be a hinderance to their devotion : that is to be done that serves most to render them fit for prayer and meditation . it will be convenient , in order to their doing this to good purpose , to be directed to a method , that so their thoughts may not wander and be unfixed : for which end , it will be of good use , to have the direction of their minister , if he be a discreet and good man , or of some other pr●dent serious christian friend : or you may recommend to them some plain and easie short treatise on this subject , such as you shall find written discreetly with due moderation of spirit . there is not any one method can be prescribed for all persons , nor fit for all times : but in general , upon such days , it 's fit for them to begin with prayer to god , humbly begging the divine assistance and direction ; that he would open their eyes , to see their sin and folly , and to discover his mercy and kindness , his long suffering and patience towards them , that they may be thereby led to repentance . they may next enquire particularly and strictly into their ways and doings ; which they may do , by considering what have been their thoughts , their words and deeds ; each of which they are to examine according to the rule of god's word : or , ( which comes to the same thing ) they may go over the commandments , and see wherein they have broken any of them : wherein they find themselves guilty , they are with unfeigned sorrow and inward contrition , to confess it , to mourn for it , and earnestly to beg forgiveness of god ; resolving with full purpose of heart , to do so no more ; but to cease from evil , and to learn to do well . they are to consider what temptations they are most in danger of ; that they may avoid them : they are also to consider what course they must take , and what christian methods they must use , to overcome their evil inclinations and ●oolish and bad customs ; and they are to resolve to govern themselves accordingly ; and sincerely to endeavour to go on unto perfection . after this , they may reflect on the kind providences they have met with ; that their souls may be filled with a grateful sense thereof ; that they may return all praise and thanks to god for his mercy and love ; and may be excited for the time to come , to trust more firmly in him , and to depend upon him . they may particularly consider , wherein god hath been pleased to answer their prayers , and to grant them the good things they have asked of him for their souls and bodies , for themselves or for others ; that their piety and love to god may be thereby the more kindled , and their devotion excited ; that their faith and hope may be made more strong and lively . they may take notice likewise of the corrections and chastisements , wherewith god hath thought fit to exercise them ; that thereby they may be awakened from sin , and made wiser and better for the time to come . it will be very useful for them to have a note in writing of those various particulars ; that they may on such days review them , and with the more ease make such reflections on them , as tend to their improvement in real piety . besides these acts of devotion , which concern themselves immediately ; it will be fit on such days to make earnest and hearty prayers to god for all mankind ; for the conversion of jews , turks , and pagans , for the reformation of those christian countries that are corrupted with superstition and idolatry ; for union amongst those that are divided in their opinions about lesser matters ; for deliverance to those who are persecuted for righteousness sake ; and for these lands , ( that god may inspire us with a spirit of peace , of love , and of true piety ; ) for our king and queen ; for all judges and magistrates ; for all the ministers of the gospel ; for all their friends and relations ; for all their enemies ; and for all who desire their prayers , of whom it is not unfit to keep a particular note in writing , that this christian office may be performed towards them with all faithfulness and kindness . they are next to consider , what may be done by them for the honour of god and the good of men ; and are to resolve to do some act or other of piety or charity , which may be of real advantage to mens souls or bodies . one thing more i shall mention , which may be very useful on such days ; and that is , that they consider what are the things wherein they desire more earnestly the divine assistance and direction ; which they may write down distinctly , that they may renew their petitions therein every day . and thereafter , especially on such days as they appoint for more solemn reflection and humiliation , they may consider what answers god has been pleased to afford them . these are a few general heads on this subject , which may be of great advantage , in order to the promoting of true devotion . but the designed brevity of this treatise does not permit the enlarging upon them . 10. duty , to observe what providences they meet with , and to acquaint them therewith in due time , as also with some of the most remarkable providences , which either they ( to wit the parents ) themselves , or others have met with . lastly , consider what providences they meet with , what signal mercies and favours their merciful father bestoweth upon them ; what dangers and hazards they have escaped ; wherein god's kindness and mighty power has appeared towards them , in preserving them , and keeping them alive : keep a note thereof in writing ; that so when they come to age , you may acquaint them therewith , that they may therein read the loving kindness and tender mercies of the lord , and his wonderful goodness and favour towards them ; and may be excited to be thankful , and to put their trust and confidence in him , whose mercies are over all his works . but , alas ! how far are most parents from doing this ? very few do any such thing for themselves ; the mercies of god are renewed to them every morning , they live at his cost and charge , he gives them richly all things to enjoy ; all their good things are from him alone : but how little do they consider , and take notice of the hand of god , in those many and great benefits he loads them with every hour and moment ? they do not reflect upon the great and marvellous things that he does for them ; they live as if they were altogether insensible of god's mercies and loving kindnesses ; and no wonder , if they take little thought to possess their children with any impressions of that , whereof they have no sense themfelves . but if parents did , as they ought , acquaint their children with god's providences towards them in their infancy , and in the days of their youth , when they were not so capable themselves to reflect thereupon , it would have a great force upon ingenuous minds , to stir in them pious and religious dispositions . it would likewise very much serve this end , if parents would often reflect on god's kind providences to selves , and now and then talk * of them to their children , and acquaint them sometimes with one instance of god's care and kindness towards them , and sometimes with another ; this would insensibly make an impression on tender minds , and in due time might bring forth good fruits . shew your children therefore , how god was pleased to provide for you , when you were in great necessity and want ; how he raised up friends to help you , in the day of your distress ; how he preserved you from danger ; how he delivered you out of many and great afflictions and troubles : how he comforted you in the days of your mourning ; how he raised you up , when you were brought very low ; how he defeated the designs of your malicious adversaries ; how he disposed a great many uneasie and afflictive things , sometimes for your temporal , and always for your spiritual advantage ; how he assisted and seconded your endeavours to serve him , with great and unexpected success ; how he rewarded and blessed you , when you did those things which were good and right before him ; and how he punished and chastened you , when you omitted your duty , or did and said a bad and wicked thing ; how he heard your prayers , and granted you the desires of your souls ; how he prevented you with his loving kindness and tender mercy ; how he satisfied your longing souls with good things ; and how he deals with you , exceeding abundantly above all that you could think or ask . in this manner , according as you have met with particular instances of the good and kind providence of god , you ought , at some times , when you find it most likely to do good , to talk thereof to your children , that thereby they may be awakened to observe and consider the powerful , just , wise , and kind providence of god ; and may be excited , together with you , to bless his holy name , for his great , his marvellous , and undeserved love towards you . you ought also , to discourse sometimes to them , concerning some of the most signal instances of divine providence towards others , which either you have observed your selves , or which you have received an account of from persons of very good authority : for example , shew them , how god has brought down proud and lofty persons , when their hearts were lifted up ; how he covered them with shame and reproach , and made them loathsome , vile , and contemptible , almost to every body ; and how he raised up humble and lowly persons ; how he followed them with the expressions of his mercy and love ; how he turned peoples hearts towards them , inclining them to love and honour them , and to do them many good and kind offices . this will tend to teach your children humility , and to restrain them from pride and self-conceit . tell them , what has befallen many passionate and impatient men ; how they have run into the pit of destruction , when they gave up themselves to to the conduct of their own violent and unruly passions ; and how the meek and patient ones have been directed , assisted , and preserved by the good providence of god ; and how they have enjoyed a great deal of peace , joy , and happiness , amidst the many afflictions and troubles they met with in the world. this will tend to teach them to be meek , to restrain their passion , and to beware of impatience . tell them , how god has punished those who have got wealth and riches by false , unjust , and indirect means ; how he has cursed their estates , and sent a moth into them , which has in a short time insensibly wasted and consumed them ; and how he hath blessed the estate and substance of those , who have got their wealth by honest and lawful means . this will tend to make them honest and sincere in their dealings in the world , and to hate false and crooked ways . tell them , how god has punished cursers and vain and false swearers , how the curse has followed them , how often it has happened to such persons according to their mad and horrid imprecations . tell them , how god , by very unexpected and surprising ways and means , has discovered and cut off traitors , murtherers , adulterers , thieves , and robbers , false witnesses , &c. tell them , how he has appeared , sooner or later , in behalf of his servants and children ; how he has wonderfully defended and preserved sincere and upright men ; how he has avenged innocent blood ; how he has defended the widow and fatherless ; how he has heard the cry of the stranger , of the desolate and oppressed , &c. such things as these , being seaso●●bly and frequently suggested to children , may , at some time or other , work upon their minds , and cause thee to take notice of the power , wisdom , mercy , and justice of god ; which they cannot do in good earnest , but th●● must needs be thereby stirred up to fear him , to love him , to obey him , and to walk in his ways . and tho' these things do not produce their effect at the very time when they are told , yet some time or other they may catch hold of the minds of your children ▪ and have a very powerful and lasting influence upon them . the example of faithful abraham ought to excite you to do these things . for this end did god acquaint him with what he intended to do to sodom , because he knew that he would improve all his providences , that he would not smother them in his own breast , but acquaint his children and family therewith , that thereby they also might learn to be wiser and better ; that they might see the terribleness of the divine justice against incorrigible sinners ; and his infinite compassion towards those who fear and love him ; that they might know the power and efficacy of prayer , and see how ready the lord is to hear all those who call upon him in earnest , not only for themselves , but also in behalf of others . and the lord said , ( gen. 18. 17. ) shall i hide from abraham that thing which i do ? and v. 19. for i know him , that he will command ( or instruct , as the word is used sometimes ) his children , and his houshold after him , and they shall keep the way of the lord to do justice and judgment , &c. suitably to this example , we find a general command given to the jews , deut. 4. 9 , 10. take heed to thy self , and keep thy soul diligently , lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen , and left they depart from thine heart all the days of thy life ; but teach them thy sons and thy sons sons : especially the day that thou stoodest before the lord thy god in horeb , &c. to the same purpose we find a direction given them touching the passover , ex. 13. 8. thou shalt shew thy son in that day , saying , this is done because of that which the lord did unto me , when i came forth out of egypt , &c. and v. 14. and it shall be when thy son asketh thee in time to come , saying , what is this ? ( to wit , that is said about setting apart unto the lord the first-born ) that thou shalt say unto him , by strength of hand the lord brought us out from egypt , from the house of bondage . and it came to pass when pharaoh would hardly let us go , that the lord slew all the first-born in the land of egypt . — therefore i sacrifice to the lord all that openeth the matrix , but all the first-born of my children i redeem . likewise josh. 4 6 , 7. 't is said , when your children ask their fathers in time to come , saying , what mean you by these stones ? then ye shall answer them , that the waters of jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the lord , when it passed over jordan . — and these stones shall be a memorial unto the children of israel for ever . see also exod. 10. 1 , 2. joel . 1. 2 , 3 , 4. from all which it appears , how important and necessary a duty it is , for parents to acquaint their children with the providences of god ; a due sense whereof will , above all other things , tend to make them wise and good . some directions to parents , how to render their endeavours effectual . now , to render your admonitions and all other endeavours effectual , for the good of your children ; first , you must give them good example ; when you bid them read , or pray , or partake of the holy sacrament , or attend the publick worship , you must ( so far as is needful and fit ) do the same things your selves : when you exhort them to be humble , to be of a mild and gentle temper , to bear patiently uneasie things , to be sober and temperate , to be charitable to the poor , to judge favourably of those who differ from them in small matters , not to be unkind or uncivil to any , tho' they agree not in their opinion with them in some lesser points of religion , but to love all those who fear and love god , and who are followers of jesus christ. i say , when you direct and exhort your children to do such things , you must joyn with your instructions a suitable example ; let it appear to them that you your selves are humble , mild , patient , sober , charitable , kind , and loving to all who are sincerely pious and virtuous , without making any difference on the account of indifferent things , i mean such things which god hath neither commanded nor forbidden . this is the only way to make your instructions and admonitions successful , when in this manner you go before them your selves , in the way wherein you desire them to walk . children learn more by the eye than by the ear , if they see you do contrary to what you advise them , they will be apt to think you do not believe what you say ; or that you are very cruel and unmerciful towards them , to bind heavy burdens upon them , and not to touch them your selves . and if you should constrain your children to do what you do not your selves ; what would it signifie ? it would only make them hypocrites and dissemblers , to do that which they have no heart unto , and which they are not perswaded to be their duty . such children , when once the restraint and force which is upon them is removed , will be sure to give themselves the full swing in all manner of folly ; they will do those things which they have seen in you , and learned by your example . but if you shine before your children in the constant practice of true piety , walking in the fear of god , and in obedience to all his holy commandments , your example will propagate religion more effectually than all the admonitions and instructions in the world. and besides , the influence which your pious example is apt to have on your childrens lives , this is the way for you to entail a blessing on your posterity . the just man , saith solomon , prov. 20. 7. walketh in his integrity , his children are blessed after him . and psal. 112. 2. 't is said , his seed shall be mighty upon earth , the generation of the vpright shall blessed . and ex. 20. 6. god hath pr●●mised to shew mercy unto thousands 〈◊〉 them that love him , and keep his co●●mandments . 2dly . chuse good co●●pany for your childre● ( so far as you have oppo●●tunity and ability to 〈◊〉 it , ) otherwise , neither your admo●●tions nor examples will signifie muc●● their ordinary company , if naught● will pull down faster than you are a●● to build : corrupt nature is eas● drawn away by the example and a●●lurements of sinners ; this is like g●●ing down hill , which is easie , conside●●ing mens natural bent an● inclination * : where●● self-denyal and mortifyin● our lusts and passions , 〈◊〉 more difficult , especially at first , 〈◊〉 going up hill . when therefore yo● see your children falling into the acquaintance of vicious and foolish persons , delay not to rescue them fro● the snare ; to break off their famili●●rity , that they be not corrupted there●by , and utterly ruined . we see ho● careful people are to keep their children from those who have the small pox , or any other infectious distemper ; and yet what a strange madness is it for them to trust them to the society of those , whose lives and manners are full of the deadly poyson of sin , which infects and kills the soul. as you ought to do all you can , to preserve your children from all sorts of vicious company , so particularly from flatterers . endeavour to save them from this dangerous snare , than which there can be nothing of more dreadful consequence unto them . such vile and servile society will very quickly pull down all that you have built ; they will utterly corrupt your children , and render their condition desperate . for when once they are under the power of flatterers , the gate is thenceforth shut against truth , and against plain and upright dealing ; when their delight is only in those who praise and commend them in all they do or say ; when such who admire them , and who study nothing but to please them in every thing , right or wrong , are their only favourites , to be sure they who are their best and wisest , and most faithful friends , who tell them the truth , and speak not so much what may be pleasing as what may be profitable unto them , will not be very welcome or acceptable to them . and because such flatterers are found often amongst servants , who in hope● of serving their covetous or ambitious , or perhaps other base and wicked designs , do make it their business , by all sorts of vile compliances , to gain the favour and love of the children of richer or more honourable persons . therefore 't is not only the duty , but the interest of parents , to be very careful what servants they receive into their family , or what persons they admit to stay in their house , knowing that , according to the proverb , one scabbed sheep will infect the whole flock . the example of the psalmist ought to be a rule in this matter , psal. 101. 6 , 7. mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land , that they may dwell with me : he that walketh in a perfect way , he shall serve me . he that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house ; he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight . 't will not be unfit in this place to mention what a * famous author reports of the ancient romans . 't was their custom to make choice of an elderly kinswoman , of whose probity and discretion they had good assurance , to whom they committed the charge of the children . her business was to keep them from hearing and seeing whatever tended to corrupt their manners ; to direct them in such little studies and exercises , as were proper to their years ; and to see that their recreations and divertisements were harmless and innocent , and that they were used and managed modestly and inoffensively . this course cornelia took , says this author , with her sons the gracchi , aurelia with her son caesar , and artia with her son augustus . the fruit and effect of which method was this , the spirits of the children being kept pure and sincere , straight and upright , they were thereby made the more capable to receive noble and excellent impressions , which way soever they applied their minds , whether to military arts , to the knowledge of the laws , or the study of eloquence . but now ( says he , speaking of the age in which he lived ) children are entrusted to the care of a grecian girl ; and to one or other of the servants , of most base and servile qualities , by whose words and actions they are quite spoiled and utterly ruined . neither are there any in the family who make account what they say or do before them : and no wonder , says he , for the parents themselves are so far from training them up to modesty and probity , that they accustom them to wantonness and extravagant liberty , by which means they grow impudent and impetuous , in the pursuit of their wild and foolish humours and inclinations . as this rule of chusing good company for children , is necessary to be followed at all times , so especially when parents send their children into foreign countries , when they are fit to travel ; how careful should they be not to trust them to every body ? but to the conduct of those who not only may be useful to advance them in the knowledge of the world , to assist them in their journeyings , to take care about their lodging and diet , to wait on them to visit great men , to see fine places , curious fabricks , famous monuments , and ancient inscriptions , to learn the language of the country , and the different modes and fashions , the government and policy , and such like : but who likewise ( through the blessing of god on their endeavours , ) may preserve them from the vices of those countries where they travel ; from those bad customs to which they have a great inclination : who may make it their business to season their minds with deeper and more lively impressions of virtue ; to possess them with a mighty regard for such excellent examples as they have occasion now and then to see ; to fortifie them against the many wicked and dangerous opinions and practices they meet with ; to acquaint them chiefly with the wisest and best men , by whose conversation they may be improved in wisdom and virtue ; that they may return into their own country with their minds furnished with useful notions , with solid principles , and wise observations ; that they may be able either in a more private way , or in a publick capacity , to do somewhat , not unworthy of those who have had such good occasions for improving themselves in those things which are excellent . to serve this design , parents are to be careful of two things ; one is , that their children travel under the conduct of a person who is wise and prudent , and is of a sincere and solid piety : if he be one that is either foolish , or prophane and atheistical , his company must needs be very hurtful and dangerous ; it may utterly 〈◊〉 the young persons who are intrusted to him , tho' they have very good ●●clinations , and have been happy in a religious education . we see that a straight twig , tied to that which is crooked , and stronger than it self , grows crooked also . what an unaccountable thing is it to think , that men who are careful to have a skilful groom to look to their horses , should be so mad , as to venture their children ( who are their chiefest possession , and the principal objects of their care and kindness ) into the hands of those who have little discretion , and less piety ? the second thing that parents ought to be careful of , in this matter , is , that their children do not travel till they are come to somewhat of stayedness , and solidity of judgment ; till their understanding and discretion is such , as may give ground to hope that their travelling shall do them no hurt , but good . it is none of the wisest parts in some parents , to send their children too soon into foreign countries , before their judgment is prepared , and made fit to make useful reflections and observations on the world ; before their minds are possessed with solid principles of virtue , and with a deep sense of religion ; so as not to be in great danger from the temptations which they are sure to meet with in most places : before they know any thing at home , it is too soon to send them abroad : before they know themselves a little , it is not advisable to send them into the wide world , to know a vast multitude of other things : hence it too often comes to pass , that a great many return , after their travels , greater fools than they went ; they bring back nothing but a load 〈◊〉 the vices and vanities of other countries . thirdly , let not over-great fondness blind your eyes , so as not to see the faults of your children ▪ nor cause you to stop your ears against just complaints it 's true , there are some wicked people who love to sow discord ▪ to kindle strife and contention ; to divide the nearest relations : but all a●● not so very wicked ; you cannot bu● know some who love you and your children sincerely ; and when such persons tell you of their faults , you ought to do the part of those who are wise , as well as kind parents ; that i● you ought to do all you can to reform their faults , and make them better and withal you ought to be heartil● thankful to those who do not flatter you and your children , to the hurt bot● of you and them . in order to their reformation , try first all gentle methods to make them better : endeavour to conquer them with the weapons of kindness and affection ; endeavour by instructions and admonitions to make them sensible of their faults ; use promises and encouragements to allure them to do what they ought ; if these gentler methods do not succeed , 't is fit to use reproof , to rebuke them sharply : reproofs of instruction , saith solomon , prov. 6. 23. are the way of life . when threatnings are necessary , make use of them likewise ; and if they do not serve the turn , then try the rod ; chasten thy son , says solomon , prov. 19. 18. while there is hope , and let not thy soul spare for his crying . and ch. 13. 24. he saith , he that spareth his rod , hateth his son , but he that loveth him , chasteneth him betimes . but let this be always the last remedy , after you have in vain attempted their reformation by milder and gentler methods . and when you use severity , do it with due moderation , not exceeding the quality of the fault : beware of using great severity , when the fault is very small and inconsiderable . respect must also be had to the age , temper , and disposition of your children ; if they are very young and tender , your correction must be the more gentle and moderate ; and if they are of a flexible and ingenuous temper , you must be the more favourable towards them . beware of correcting them when you find your anger very hot , for then you are apt to do more hurt than good . your passion will hurry you , if you restrain it not , into somewhat or other very wicked , as well as indiscreet ; it will make you do and say a great many things very unworthy of a christian. always therefore be careful , that your reason , and not your passion , direct you in so important a matter as this is ▪ ●f once you fall into the rough , severe , and violent method of dealing with your children , there are a great many disadvantages will attend it . first , you discourage your children , you break their spirits , you make them unfit for any useful thing ; you tempt them to do such things as are hurtful to themselves , and may prove grievous to you . if oppression makes a wise man mad ; 't is no wonder if a child , or young person , is sadly disordered , and made half mad by cruel and tyrann●c●l usage : tho' it be a fault in children to be so ; yet parents ought to be careful not to provoke them overmuch to wrath , by a severe , unmerciful carriage towards them . 't is not the less important and true , because it is a common observation , to wit , that a tender sprig which grows crooked , may be made straight by little and little , if you bend it and handle it gently ; but if you bend it with great force and violence , you may quickly break it . thus it is with children generally , who discover very early somewhat of crookedness in their nature , which is increased by evil example ; if you use mild and gentle methods to reform them , temper'd now and then , as need shall require , with a little severity , there is hopes , that , by degrees , they will be reformed , and made straight ; but if , instead of this moderate course , you use cruel methods , and deal rigidly and unmercifully with them , you cannot expect any other , but that their spirits should be broken or hardened , and so lose all sense of ingenuity . secondly , you kindle your own passions , you disorder your minds , and accustom your selves to a fiery temper , you become fierce , barbarous , and savage ; whereby you turn one of your great temporal comforts into a grievous cross , and heavy burden . thirdly , you hereby likewise teach your children , through your example , to be of a passionate and violent spirit ; and so you do them more hurt , than all your corrections and instructions can do them good : never think to cure them of their faults , by your committing as bad your selves : you must not do evil that good may come of it : the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of god. fourthly , you make your children care less for your corrections , than otherwise they would do : when you are always beating them in your passion , and tormenting them , they must needs think , that you do so , not so much for any fault they are guilty of , as because you are very passionate , and therefore must give your passion a vent one way or other . if therefore you would chasten your children to good purpose , do it when your spirits are cool , when your reason is at hand to direct you , and to keep you within bounds , and not when you have lost your selves , by being under the power of a violent passion . if you are careful to follow this christian method , you may then expect that god's kind providence will second you in your endeavours for reforming your children . either they will grow better ; or however , you will find peace and comfort , when in this manner you govern your selves by the laws of religion , and are not led by your unruly passion . that parents may the better perform their duty in correcting their children , they ought to observe and imitate the example of our heavenly father , who , tho' whom he loveth , he chasteneth , heb. 12. 6. yet he doth not afflict willingly , nor grieve the children of men. lam. 3. 33. he does not make use of the rod , but when it is necessary , when his mercy and kindness do not prevail . and when he does correct , in the midst of wrath , he remembreth mercy . when he visits the transgressions of his children , with the rod , and their iniquity with stripes : nevertheless , his loving kindness he does not take utterly from them , nor suffer his faithfulness to fail . ps. 89. 32 , 33. he is always ready to receive his penitent children , to have mercy upon them . he does not keep his anger for ever . a due consideration of these things will direct parents how to correct their children both as to time and measure . to what hath been said , it will not be unfit to add , that , to render reproof , and correction the more effectual , it is necessary that both parents concur therein ; not as if it were proper for them both together , or one after another , to reprove or chasten their children , for the same fault , for this would be rather very improper for the most part : but when one of the parents chides of corrects their children , the other ought so far to concur , as to approve what is done , and shew their displeasure towards those children who have done that which deserves chastisement . they must not oppose one another in this matter ; when one reproves , the other must not approve and commend ; when one condemns , the other must not justifie ; when one endeavours to correct , the other must not hinder it ; otherwise , the children will be lost ; for it is not likely they will amend their faults , if they see that either of their parents is their patron , to encourage and defend them , or to excuse and extenuate what they do amiss . they who are wise parents , ought to be so far from doing this , that tho' one of them should happen to reprove or chasten a child when there is no very great necessity for so doing , yet the other parent , whether father or mother , ought to conceal their present thoughts , and wait a fit occasion to discourse the matter together , that such unnecessary reproofs and chastisements may be prevented for the future . if parents do not carefully observe this rule , their children will be sure to take notice of their indiscretion , and to make a very bad use of it , so as to despise their reproofs and chastenings , when they are more just and necessary . fourthly , when it pleaseth god to visit them with sickness , or any other adversity ; be sure to do all that you can , to bear in upon their minds , a sense of those things you are most desirous to have them touched with , and which in time of their health they made but very little account of . affliction is the time , in which god useth to work upon the hearts of people most powerfully and effectually ; then he awakeneth them , and convinceth them of their sad and dangerous state ; he casts them down , that being made sensible of their sin and danger , he may again raise them up , and speak comfortably to them . i will allure her , and bring her into the wilderness , and speak comfortably to her , hos. 2. 4. therefore all they who sincerely desire to reclaim their children , or others , from their bad and foolish courses , ought to take the opportunity of their sickness , their pain and grief , their losses and disappointments , and of any other sorts of troubles and afflictions wherein they are , that then they may suggest to them such counsels and advices as are proper for their instruction , their conviction and amendment . at other times , there are a great many things which are apt to hinder good counsel from entring into the mind , or from making any deep impression thereon ; pleasures and vanities are apt to choak the good seed : but when they are afflicted , and humbled a little by some outward pressure , or bodily distemper ; they are thereby somewhat better disposed to hear friendly admonitions and counsels , and to think a little more seriously of their ways and doings . it is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth ; he sitteth alone and keepeth silence , &c. lam. 3. 27 , 28. when it hath pleased god to restore your children to health , or to deliver them from any other affliction , fail not to put them in mind of their afflicted estate , and of god's goodness towards them when they were in adversity : endeavour to make them sensible for what end god hath been so kind to them , to wit , that they may amend their lives , and bring forth fruits meet for repentance . strive to keep them mindful of their purposes and resolutions , and press them to the fulfilling of them . stir them up to be thankful to god for his mercy , and to be very watchful , lest satan prevail over them any more . fifthly , be earnest in your prayers to god daily for them ; that he would make them what he requires them to be , his dutiful and obedient children and servants ; that he would give them his holy spirit to sanctifie and cleanse them , to enlighten and direct them , and to assist and strengthen them ; that he would season their hearts with his fear and love ; that he would turn them from sin and folly ; and incline their hearts to keep his precepts always , even unto the end ; that he would hold up their goings in his paths , that their footsteps may not slide ; that he would be their god and guide , their sun and shield , and their portion for ever ; that he would give every one of them those things which be best and most needful for them ; that he would sanctifie every state and condition of life , wherein his providence doth place them . if they are in a healthful and prosperous state , pray to god to make them sensible of , and thankful for his undeserved goodness , and that he would preserve them from the snares and dangers to which prosperity does expose them . you see what was job's constant course at the end of his childrens feasting . job . 1. 5. he sent and sanctified them , and rose up early in the morning , and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all . for he said , it may be my sons have sinned , and cursed god in their hearts , &c. again , if they are in sickness , or any other adversity ; beg of god to sanctifie their afflictions , to make them blessed and happy means of their reformation , or of their improvement in true piety . when you are about to instruct , to admonish , to reprove , or to correct your children , pray to god to direct you by his good spirit , to do your duty in an acceptable manner ; and that he would incline and dispose them to their duty , and make them gainers by what you do or say for their good . 't is not always necessary for you , in every particular admonition or reproof , &c. which you use towards your children , to make a solemn prayer , by retiring into your closet ; this ought to be done upon extraordinary occasions ; but ordinarily , it will suffice , if you lift up your hearts unto god , in a short and fervent ejaculation , for his direction and blessing in what you are to do or say to your children . you have great encouragement to do this ; because you are assured that god heareth prayer ; he hath said , every one that asketh , receiveth . so that either he will grant your children what you beg for them , or if they render themselves unworthy of the mercy and kindness of god , by their perverseness and stubbornness ; yet you are sure of one thing , that your prayers are not lost ; they shall return into your bosom : god will plentifully reward your piety , your charity , and zeal , with more grace here , and glory hereafter . now if it be the duty of parents , in this manner , to pray for their children , what shall be said of those , who , instead of praying for their children , curse them , and use fearful imprecations against them ! how dreadful a thing is it for those to whom it belongs to bless their children , instead of doing this , to curse them ! how unnatural a thing is it , instead of contributing to their happiness , to do their utmost to make them eternally miserable ! 't is true , some children are very perverse and wicked , guilty of great stubbornness and disobedience , and of great contempt aud neglect of their parents : but yet for all this , parents ought never to give over praying for them ; and if at any time , their passion and discontent occasion in their minds any thing that looks like a tendency to evil wishes or imprecations against their children , let them with as great care endeavour to be delivered therefrom , as they would from fire , if it broke forth in their houses . and indeed , if they who have the worst children , did but consider what woful effects do often attend such rash curses † , they would beware of using them , though never so much provoked : it is very observable , that god often in his wrath and vengeance heareth such imprecations , when uttered by parents * , whereby he sheweth his just displeasure and indignation both against them and their children . from what hath been said , parents may see what they must do , to render their admonitions , and all their other endeavours effectual , for the good of their children . some motives to excite parents to do these things . now to stir you up to perform these things ; consider , first , it is the will of god that you bring up your children in his fear , and acquaint them with his holy laws and commandments . he who made you , requires you to do this ; he who preserves you and keeps you alive ; he who is your king and lord , who has a right to your service , to all that you are able to do ; who is your father in heaven ; who daily takes care of you , and loads you with his benefits ; who is the god of your salvation ; who hath sent his son into the world to die for you : it is even he who saith , deut. 6. 6 , 7. and these words which i command thee this day , shall be in thine heart . and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children , and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house , and when thou walkest by the way , and when thou liest down , and when thou risest up . and , eph. 6. 4. and ye fathers , provoke not your children to wrath , but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the lord. 't is he who established a testimony in jacob , and appointed a law in israel : which he commanded our fathers , that they should make them known to their children : that the generation to come might know them , even the children that should be born : who should arise and declare them to their children . that they might set their hope in god , and not forget the works of god ; but keep his commandments : and might not be as their fathers , a stubborn and rebellious generation , a generation that set not their heart aright , and whose spirit was not stedfast with god. psal. 78. 5 , 6 , 7 , 8. if you then be the subjects , the servants , and the children of the great god ; if you love and fear him , as you ought to do , you will be sure to make it your business to train up your children in true virtue and piety ; to make them what god requires them to be , holy , as he who hath called them is holy , in all manner of conversation ; you will excite them to strive to enter in at the strait gate ; to work out their salvation with fear and trembling ; to remember their creator in the days of their youth ; t● seek god while he may be found , and to call upon him while he is near ; to love the lord with all their heart , and the● neighbours as themselves ; to endeavour to follow the example of our blessed master , to learn of him to be meek and lowly , to take up their cross and to bear it patiently , to be zealous for the glory of god , to abound in the work of the lord , not to be weary in well-doing , but to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our lord and saviour jesus christ. secondly , is not this a work worthy of all your care and pains , to save the souls of those , who are parts of your selves , who derive their being from you ? you are the instruments not only of their being , but the means of conveying unto them natural defilement and corruption : and therefore you ought with a great deal of zeal to endeavour to have their pollutions washed off by true unfeigned repentance , and a hearty turning from sin unto god ; by their putting off the works of darkness , and putting on the armour of light ; by their putting on the lord jesus christ , and walking as he walked . are you ready to do all that you can to make your children rich and wealthy , great and honourable in the world ; and yet are you at so little pains to do that for them ▪ which tends to make them rich in faith , and heirs of a glorious inheritance ? you endeavour to acquaint them with those who may be useful to them in their worldly affairs and concerns ; and why do you not strive to acquaint them with god , their greatest and best friend , who is sure to stand by them , to take them up , and to take care of them , when all forsake them , and turn their backs upon them ? why do you not with greater earnestness endeavour to procure unto them his friendship and love , who is infinitely powerful , and infinitely good and kind ; and therefore not only can , but will do for them exceeding abundantly above all that either you or they can think or ask ? thirdly , the doing of this is attended with great rewards , not only in another world ▪ but even in this life . you cannot but find unspeakable joy and comfort , when you behold your children walking in the fear of god , going from strength to strength , and from grace to grace , that at last they may come and appear before the lord in sion . it will free you from a great many anxious thoughts about them for the time to come , when you know that they have god for their friend , who will be a guide and buckler to them : what a great satisfaction will it afford you , to think that they , for whom you make so great provision , and are at so much pains , are good and wise , and in all probability , will make good use of what is given them , or designed for them ? when you see them humble , of a mild and gentle temper , ap● to bear uneasie things meekly and patiently ; when you see them sober and temperate , charitable and compassionate , just and upright , true and faithful , wise and prudent , devout and religious , zealous for the honour of god , and studying daily to grow up in all virtue and piety ; how will this fill you with a pleasure that cannot be expressed ? so true is it that is said by the wise man , prov. 15. and 20. a wise son maketh a glad father . and ch. 23. v. 24 , 25. the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoyce , and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him . thy father and thy mother shall be glad , and she that bare thee shall rejoyce . they who plant an orchard , are mightily pleased to see the young trees prosper , grow regularly , and bear a great deal of good fruit , this makes them reflect upon all their cost and pains with much satisfaction . how much greater must their pleasure be , upon whom god hath bestowed children , when they see them growing in grace as they grow in years ? when they behold them straight and upright in their lives , pure and undefiled in the way , walking in the law of the lord , having respect unto all his commandments , flourishing in the courts of the lord , bringing forth the fruits of righteousness and true holiness . doubtless there is no pleasure in any earthly thing comparable to this of religious parents , when they are happy in pious and virtuous children . and as such children are a great comfort , and afford a mighty pleasur● to their parents , so they are a great honour , and a lasting ornament unto them . what can be more for th● glory of parents , than to have thei● children adorned with the image o● god , cloathed with virtue and goodness as with a garment ? this doth reflect somewhat of its lusture and beauty upon the parents themselves , who have been , under god , the instruments of making their children lovers and followers of that which is good . all wise and good people , who observe the truth and faithfulness , the justice and uprightness , the meekness and modesty , the prudence and discretion , and the other virtues which appear in children , must needs conceive and entertain very respectful thoughts of the parents themselves , by whose means the children have been so virtuously and religiously formed and educated . but besides all that has been said , good and virtuous children afford manifold advantages to their parents . the psalmist ( psal. 128. 3. ) compares them to olive plants round about the table of their parents ; that is , as olive plants are not only for ornament , but of great use to those who possess them ; so good children are not only ornaments to their parents , but very useful and profitable to them in many regards ; for example , they serve their parents , they assist and help them in their employment , they stand by them in their danger , and defend them , they provide for them in their want , they pray for them , and do many important offices to them ; so that no wonder if the psalmist saith , psal. 127. 5. happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them ; they shall not be ashamed , but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate . that is , it makes parents couragious , it encourages them to appear in publick in their own just defence , when they have worthy children to attend them , and to assist them against those who endeavour to wrong them . fourthly , the benefit of the good education of children , is not confined to the parents alone , but is extended both to church and state , families being the nurseries both of one and t'other . 1 st . as to the church , when children are rightly educated in the knowledge and practice of true religion , they will then be sure to observe all such things as tend to peace , unity , and edification ; they will readily and gladly joyn in religious assemblies , and carefully avoid whatever tends to unnecessary separation . neither will they only joyn outwardly in christian assemblies , but will be careful likewise to do it sincerely , to worship god in spirit and in truth ; and to hear his word with great reverence and attention , with a great desire to know the divine will , and with a real and hearty design to do it . they will also observe all other sacred institutions , without consulting with flesh and blood. and as they will do those things themselves , so they will do what they can to engage others to do the like . and not only will they carry themselves as christians in publick ; but likewise , in their several relations and capacities , wherein god hath placed them in the world , they will be careful to adorn their christian profession ; they will study to avoid whatever is contrary to true piety ; they will zealously endeavour to do all the good they can in the world : for which end , they will watch the most fit occasions of doing good to the souls of those they are acquainted with , and will be sure to comply with any favourable opportunity of serving them , in those things which are for their everlasting happiness , which tend to make them wiser and better . how great a blessing would it be to the church , to have many such persons of her society ? and therefore , as the sense of this ought to excite parents to do their utmost to educate their children in the fear and love of god : so it ought to stir up the guides of the church , to employ themselves vigorously in dealing with younger persons , to make them wise and good , in endeavouring all they can to beget in their minds a true sense of religion and virtue , to possess them with the knowledge and love of god , to fortifie them against the many temptations to sin and folly to which they are exposed : and , in a word , to make the● followers of christ in true holines● in this world , and fit to live an● reign with him in glory in the wor● to come . all who have dealt with mankind about the concerns of another life must needs lament , that very litt● can be done for reforming aged people , who are hardned in evil habits and therefore , there is the greater nee● to deal in good earnest with young persons , to prevent their being corrupted , and to lay in them the foundatio● of solid piety for the time to come . 2 dly . as to the state , it would likewise reap no small benefit by th● right education of children . for 〈◊〉 as to those who are to rule a●● govern others , whether in an highe● or more subordinate quality , if the● are happy in a pious and virtuous education , if their minds are season● with religious principles , if they a●● possessed with a great love to th● which is good , and with a great abhorrence and detestation of th● which is evil ; if they are trained 〈◊〉 in the daily practice of modesty an● humility , of meekness and patience , of truth and faithfulness , of justice and uprightness , of brotherly kindness and charity , and of temperance and sobriety , &c. i say , if they who are to rule others , are educated in this manner , there is great reason to hope , that they will prove great blessings , in those publick capacities , to which it shall please god to call them . such persons are likely to minister justice impartially , to encourage piety and virtue where-ever they see it , and to curb and restrain whatever is dishonourable to god , and unsuitable to the christian profession . whereas , on the contrary , when they who are to rule others , are bred up in idleness and luxury , are gratified in their vanity and folly , are cherished in their passions and extravagancies , are accustomed to no society but of trifling or atheistical persons , and are not employed in any useful sort of business . i say , when they who are to rule others have such woful education , what can be expected from them , but such things only , as are dishonourable to god , scandalous to religion , and in many regards prejudicial to mankind ? 2 dly . as for those of lower quality , when once they are inspir'd with the knowledge of christian principles , and when these have taken deep root in them , and have a due influence upon them , they will not only teach them , but also engage them to honour and obey their rulers , and that not only for fear , but also for conscience sake . as christianity will make them give unto god the things that be god's , so it will cause them to give unto caesar the things that be caesar ' s. it will likewise make them true and sincere in all their words , just and upright in all their deeds , faithful and constant in all their lawful undertakings , and charitable and compassionate to every body in distress ; studious of purity and chastity , of temperance and sobriety , and of peace and concord : it will cause them , as much as is possible , to live peaceably with all men , to seek peace , and to pursue it , to be zealous peace-makers , and to be ready to overcome ▪ evil with good ; it will direct them when their neighbour or friend is overtaken with a fault , to restore him with the spirit of meekness ; it will make them , not to seek their own things only , but likewise their neighbours good as well as their own ; it will not only restrain them from what is manifestly evil , but will also make them careful to avoid every appearance of it , to shun the very thoughts and desire of wickedness ; it will cause them to be content with what god bestows upon them , and not to envy others , not to covet their goods , nor wrong them by word or deed . and , ●in a word , the lively impressions of religion will make them careful to keep their consciences void of offence both towards god and towards men. now , if these rules of our holy religion had their due influence on the minds of people , what a blessed and happy society would there be in the world ! how easie would every man be ? how well-pleased ? how safe and secure from hurt and danger ? how confident in his friends , neighbours , and acquaintance ? knowing , and being well assured , that they fear and love god , and therefore will do no wrong . as the consideration of these things , ought to make parents very careful to do all that ever they can towards the right education of their children , so i● ought mightily to excite all christian rulers and governours , to do their part in this matter , particularly to take care that there be schools every where , and that such persons be chosen to educate children at school , as not only are skilful to teach them to read , write , &c. but who may contribute likewise towards the seasoning their minds with religious principles , who will look upon it as one great part of their business to endeavour to possess them with the fear and love of god. how worthy of christian magistrates were it also , to take care that all schools and colleges be visited often by fit persons , that the diligent may be encouraged , and that the remiss and negligent , or the vicious and prophane , may be discouraged by all just and lawful means . these things cannot be look'd upon as forreign to the magistrates office , if it be but duely considered , how much benefit comes to the state by the good education of children , and how much mischief cometh thereto , by the neglect of their education . * of old the persians , lacedemonians , cretians , and others , thought it their interest to see to the right education of children ; they did not think it safe , to leave so great a trust wholly in the hands of parents , who through partiality , fondness , or indiscretion , might utterly spoil them , and thereby do unspeakable mischief to the state. and no doubt , till once all christian rulers and governours , both in church and state , make it more their business to see to the right education of children , there is no great hopes of ever seeing any considerable reformation in the world. fifthly , if you neglect to do these things for the souls of your children , and leave them to themselves to do as they list , then you may expect that their sins and follies , their pride and passion , their gluttony and drunkenness , their cursing and swearing , their lying and deceiving , their malice and revenge , their chambering and wantonness , their atheism and irreligion , will not only prove tragical to them , but occasion great uneasiness , vexation , and grief of mind to you . prov. 10. 1. a foolish son is a heaviness to his mother , and chap. 17. 21. he that begetteth a fool , doth it to his sorrow , and the father of a fool hath no joy. 't is true , 't is not in the power of parents to infuse good qualities into the minds of their children ; some are so very perverse , that all that can be said or done by parents , is altogether slighted , and neglected by them : we know that abraham had an ishmael as well as an isaac ; and isaac an esau as well as a jacob ; and jacob a reuben as well as a joseph . however , such parents who have the affliction of sad and wretched children , have some comfort and satisfaction in having done their duty for them , and in endeavouring to approve themselves unto god , who will accept of their honest and sincere endeavours ; and will crown them with glorious rewards . but it is otherwise , when children prove bad through the too great indulgence , or the negligence , and bad example of parents . what a deep wound must it needs give them , when they begin to consider that they did not their part to make their children good , and were so far from it , that they corrupted and ruined them by their bad example , and over great kindness and indulgence ? such parents do often eat the fruits of their cruel fondness , and feel the sad effects of their own bad example , by means of their prophane and graceless children . as god doth often visit the iniquity of the parents upon the children ; so when children are suffered to go on in their foolish and wicked courses , through the indiscreet gentleness and kindness of parents , who , perhaps , are in other respects good people ; the lord doth sometimes punish such parents , and bring temporal judgments upon them . ely was a great instance of this , 1 sam. 2. and 22. he heard all that his sons did unto all israel ; which were things of a very vile nature , whereby , as it 's said chap. 3. and 13. they made themselves vile , that is , hateful to god , and base and contemptible to all the people , by their lewd and abominable practices . ely did reprove them , but it was too coldly and gently . chap. 2. 23 , 24 and he said unto them , why do you such things , for i hear of your evil dealings by all this people : nay , my sons ; for it is no good report that i hear ; you make the lord's people to transgress . besides his reproof , he ought to have restrained them , ch. 3. and 13. as being high priest , a judge , and chief governour amongst the people : he ought to have put them out of the priesthood , as accurssed persons , and executed the laws of god against them . which because he did not , therefore god denounced very dreadful judgments against him by a prophet , whom he sent unto him , chap. 2. 31 , 3● , 33 , 34 , 36. and chap. 3. 13 , 14. and in chap. 4. we find his two sons hoph●● and phineas were slain in battel by the philistines , and the ark of god was taken ; upon the news whereof , the old man fell from off his seat backwards , and his neck brake , and he died . we see likewise in david , what was the effect of his too great indulgence to some of his children ; especially absalom and adonijah , who not only wrought their own destruction , but proved great crosses to their aged father . here it will not be unfit to relate what st. augustin tells us of the sad effects of leaving a child to himself , and not endeavouring to educate him aright . the story is this . * there was one cyril , a citizen of hippo , who having one only son , was so fond of him , that he avoided doing or saying any thing that tended to make his son uneasie : the young man finding himself at liberty ( through his father's indulgence ) to live as ▪ he thought good , gave up himself to all manner of folly , particularly to drunkenness . notwithstanding this , his father still continued to be as fond as ever , and would not do any thing to restrain him from doing what he had a mind to . the consequence whereof was very dreadful and terrible ; for a little time after , this wretched son coming home very drunk , killed his father , as also his mother then big with child ; he attempted to have ravished his sisters , of whom two were mortally wounded by him . such sad examples as these ought to awaken parents to do what they can to educate their children in the fear of god , to train them up in the study and practice of true piety , and to restrain them by all due means from sin and folly. which things if they fail to do , they may expect sooner or later , to reap the bitter and cursed fruits of so sad a neglect . advice to parents . part ii. the duties of parents as to their childrens bodies . having treated of the duty of parents towards their children , as to their souls , the better part ; i shall next shew what their duties are , as to the bodies of their children . first , it belongs to the mother to give suck to her children ; unless some bodily imperfection , great weakness , or sickness , or her circumstances in the world , make it impossible , or very dangerous and inconvenient both for her and the children , or for either . for this end it is that god hath given breasts unto women , and caused the milk to flow into them , that there may be nourishment suitable to the tender infants , in a readiness for them . neither can we suppose any other body capable of shewing equal care and love to the children , with that which it is natural for the mother to express to the fruit of her own womb. besides this , it cannot well be imagined , that the milk of any other body can be so fit for the child as its own mothers , if she be but in tollerable health . we see that sarah did not think that the greatness of her quality , or her great age , did excuse her from this natural obligation , of giving suck unto her child . gen. 21. 7. and she said , who would have said unto abraham , that sarah should have given children suck ? for i have born him a son in my old age. which words suppose it to be the unquestionable duty , as well as common practice of mothers , to give suck to their children . when god chose a nurse for moses , ( exod. 2. 8. ) he led the handmaid of pharaoh's daughter to the child's mother . we find that amongst other characters of a woman , that was fit to be taken into the number of widows , there was this , if she hath brought up children , ( 1 tim. 5. 10. ) or , as the words may be translated , if she has nourished or fed her children . it was reckoned as a sign of god's wrath , hos. 9. 14. to have dry breasts . and therefore , they cannot be accounted innocent , who , without apparent necessity , dry up their breasts , and so deprive their children of that food and nourishment which nature designed for them . the words of the psalmist david , psal. 22. 9. do not only imply that his mother gave him suck , but they also shew , that it was the practice of all mothers , to do the like to their children . thou didst make me hope , saith he , when i was upon my mother's breasts . solomon likewise takes it for granted , that children of the same womb , should suck of the same breasts . cant. 8. 1. o that thou wert as my brother , that sucked the breasts of my mother . to all which might be added , the words of the woman to our saviour , luke 11. 27. blessed is the womb that bare thee , and the paps which thou hast sucked . which words suppose , that she who bare him , did also give him suck . we find that amongst the very heathens , they were accounted but half mothers , who neglected to give suck to their children . one of their ancient authors * speaking on this subject , saith , how unnatural a thing is this , how imperfect , and only to be a mother by halves , having brought forth a child , presently to throw it away ? having nourished in her womb somewhat that she could not see , not now to nourish it with her milk , when she sees it alive , and calling for her assistance ? we see likewise , that nature hath impressed on the most savage and wild creatures , a readiness to draw out their breasts to their young , lam. 4. 3. even the sea monsters draw out the breast , they give suck to their young ones . and shall women degenerate into such unnatural barbarity towards their young , as is not to be met with amongst the most savage creatures ? shall they , whose love and tenderness has been so noted and admired , prove unkind and cruel to the fruit of their own womb ? 2 dly . when children are fit for stronger food , parents are not to indulge them too much , in gratifying the curiosity and daintiness of their palate , which not only is apt to make them too soft and tender ; but likewise disposeth them to gluttony and sensuality ; to make their belly their god. it is fit to accustom them to a plain and simple diet ; which is generally more wholsome than that sort of food which is very artificially prepared . the state of all humane things is very uncertain ; they who have at present all manner of things in greatest plenty and variety , may meet with changes and vicissitudes : it 's therefore a part of the wisdom of parents , to accustom their children ( so far as their health and strength can bear it ) to eat any sort of food ; that so , if god sees fit to change their outward condition and circumstances , they may be the more fit and able to endure such an alteration . thirdly , as to the● habit and apparel : parents ought to cloath● them decently , but not gorgeously : fineries and gayeties 〈◊〉 apparel are apt to make people ▪ especially younger persons , vain 〈◊〉 conceited , to value themselves upo● their gay cloathing . it is fit ofte● to suggest to them , that their cloath● and apparel are but borrowed feathers ; and therefore that it is a grea● folly to be proud of that which is 〈◊〉 their own , but which they owe to th● sheep or goats , to the worms 〈◊〉 bowels of the earth . it is not fit for parents to make too great distinction among their children , as to their apparel ; because this is apt to cause discontent● and jealousies , hatred and envy ▪ contentions and quarrellings among●● them . joseph's coat of many colours which his old father jacob gave him caused his brethren to hate and en●● him , and at last to conspire most wickedly against him , gen. 37. 3 , 4 , &c. the same is to be said as to their diet , and other things , wherein it is no small part of the wisdom of parents , not to shew too much fondness to one above all the rest . this does not hinder , but that parents may , to very good purpose , give rewards to their children for their acts of virtue , for their ready and chearful obedience to their commands ; for their diligence and care in performing what was appointed them , &c. whereby they who do such things are encouraged , and they who do not , but are careless and negligent , are punished , and spurred up to amend their faults . but when such marks of favour are bestowed , 't is fit to let the rest know , that if they do as well , they also shall have a reward : by which means they will see that virtue and goodness are the things which their parents love and esteem most ; and for which they are ready to bestow the marks of their affection . the duty of parents as to the outward estate of their children . a third thing that belongs to the care of parents , is , the outward estate of their children . first , when they are fit for a trade , they ought to chuse an honest employment for them : to suffer them to live in idleness , is to ruin them : if they have not some useful thing or other to take up their thoughts , they are in great hazard of finding somewhat to do which is bad , and hurtful both to themselves and others . the devil is always at hand to furnish occasions to idle people , for employing themselves to their own destruction . the athenians ( who for a great while were reckoned amongst the wisest people in the world , ) were so sensible of the necessity and importance of childrens being bred up to some lawful trade and employment , that by their laws * they obliged them to maintain their parents , and to supply them in their old age , only upon this supposition , that their parents had been careful to teach them an honest trade : otherwise by their laws , children were not bound to provide for them . tho' this is not to be brought into practice amongst christians , it being contrary to christian principles , for children upon any pretence whatsoever to neglect their parents in distress . yet this example sheweth , how great a crime it was reckoned amongst the wiser heathens , for parents not to breed up their children to some honest employment . as to the particular kind of employment , wherein children are to spend their days , it is to be left to the discretion and prudence of parents : they are so to instruct and dispose the minds of their children , that they may be ready to be determined to any trade or manner of life that 's honest , which their parents think best and meetest for them to follow : but yet a great regard is to be had to the particular genius and inclination of children , which ordinarily disposeth them more for one sort of employment than another : it will make them more diligent in learning their trade , when they have a delight in it : otherwise , if they are put forth to a trade against their minds , they are more likely to neglect it , or to break off from it . seldom do such persons attain unto great perfection in their employment , who follow it against the grain . as for those whose great and plentiful estate in the world doth raise them above the necessity of putting forth their children to a trade , they ought notwithstanding to be careful to bring them up , not in idleness and vanity , but in such studies and exercises , as are most proper for them , and which tend to make them serviceable in their generation * . when god created adam after his own image , and placed him in the garden of eden , which , no doubt , was the most honourable state that ever man was in upon earth , yet he did not suffer him to live in idleness , he appointed him an employment , to wit , to dress and keep the garden . the greater that mens possessions are , they ought to be so much the more concerned in the right education of their children , that so they may be made the more fit to inherit their wealth and riches . how much reason had the philosopher crates to say , * that if he might , he would go up unto the highest place of the city , and there bespeak the citizens in this manner . o men ! what mean ye to be 〈◊〉 so much pains , and so incessantly to busie your thoughts , how to heap up wealth and riches ; and yet to take so little care of your children , to whom you are to leave all these things ! upon which , plutarch hath this wise reflection : that such parents are very like those foolish people , who have a great deal of care of their shoe , but none at all of their foot. great and rich men , therefore , ought to be very careful that their children be well educated ; that they be instructed in useful arts and sciences , which may not only afford pleasure and delight unto their minds , but may be of use and advantage to them in their conversation in the world. above all , they ought to endeavour , that their childrens minds be possessed with a lively sense of religion , with sincere love to god , with a fervent zeal for his glory , with a great delight in all those things which are truly noble and worthy , which tend to the honour of god , and the benefit of mankind , and with an utter abhorrence and detestation of all wicked practices , of prophane and atheistical company , and of every appearance of evil ; they ought to train them up in useful and pious actions and designs , which may be of advantage to church or state , that so they may prove a blessing to the world , and pillars of that society to which they belong . great care ought to be taken , to make them understand the vanity of riches and honour , the great uncertainty and mutability of the things of this world , and the many tentations and vexations which attend a plentiful estate and great fortune . endeavour to make them sensible , that no earthly enjoyments are capable to satisfie their desires ; that , as the wise man saith , eccles. 5. 10. he that loveth silver , shall not be satisfied with silver ; nor he that loveth abundance , with increase : and that they are so far from satisfying the mind , that they distract it , and oftentimes fill it with greater uneasiness ; that they occasion cares , and fears , and temptations and sorrows . shew them likewise , that these outward and perishing things add nothing of real worth unto them , that a hundred or a thousand a year cannot make them one whit either wiser or better ; that their estates cannot keep off sickness or pain , nor sad and sudden accidents ; and that they cannot defend them so much as one moment , from the approaches of the king of terrors . shew them , what was the psalmist's opinion of outward greatness , himself being one of the greatest men of his time , and therefore able to judge o● the matter : surely , says he , psal. 62 9. men of high degree are a lye ; to be laid in the ballance , they are altogether lighter than vanity . grea● me● are a lye ; that is , they are not either what their own vanity would make them , or what foolish people imagine them to be , to wit , another sort of beings than other men. thi● is but a lye , for they are the same thing with the poorest beggar , they are of the same mould , they have the same passions , they are subject to the same distempers , they are liable to the same accidents and mischances , they are exposed to most part of the same temptations , and to a great many more , which made agur in his prayer ▪ prov. 30. 8 , 9. to say , give me 〈◊〉 riches , lest i be full , and deny thee , 〈◊〉 say , who is the lord. shew them likewise , for what 〈◊〉 it is that god bestoweth riches a●● honour upon them , that it is not 〈◊〉 gratifie their lusts and passions , to indulge themselves in vanity and folly , an● to have wherewith to give themselves the full swing in whatever is suitable to thei● corrupt inclinations ; that it is not 〈◊〉 take to themselves a liberty to wo● wickedness , to trample upon whatever is sacred , to countenance and patronize those who are prophane mockers of religion , who scof● at the most sacred things thereof . shew them that it is for better purposes , that the great lord of the world bestows riches , power , and honour on the sons of men , even that they may employ themselves , and all they have , for his honour and glory . shew them , that to whom much is given , of them much shall be required ; that god doth expect greater service from those , upon whom he bestows greater encouragements : and therefore , that they ought to employ themselves as much as they can , in doing his will , and glorifying his holy name ; that they ought to encourage religion , to countenance those who are pious and devout , to set a mark of respect upon those who fear and love god , and to testifie their dislike of those who are prophane and irreligious , to endeavour to curb and restrain them , so far as they are able ; and that they ought to make it appear , that there is no way for any body to recommend themselves so effectually to their ●●vour and esteem , as by their behaving themselves as the followers of jesus christ ought to do . shew them also , how much persons of meaner quality are influenced and led by the example of those who are great and noble , whose actions are generally of greater force than laws are with them * : that therefore , they ought to shine before them in all the actions of true piety and virtue , that others , by seeing their good works , may be excited to imitate them , and so to glorifie their father that is in heaven . lastly , shew them , that if they are wicked and prophane , and so by their bad example defile and corrupt others , then god will require at their hands the blood of those many souls , who perish by following their foot-steps , and walking after them in their ungodly ways . in this manner , they who are rich , great , and honourable , who have no need to chuse a trade for their children , ought nevertheless to teach them , ( and that so much the more carefully ) such things as may make them truly wise and good . as for those who intend to set apart one or more of their children for the holy ministry , they ought , 1 st . to be careful to serve god with the best they have . for cursed be the deceiver , which hath in his flock a male , and voweth and sacrificeth unto the lord a corrupt thing . mal. 1. 14. they ought to consecrate to this sacred office those of their children who are most worthy in all respects , who have not only good parts , but who have also good inclinations , and are apt to receive religious impressions . 't is an argument they very little understand the greatness and difficulty of the pastoral office , and have very little sense of religion , who think that god may be put off with any thing , and that the refuse of the flock is sufficient to be an offering to him . how great ingratitude is there in this ? have not parents received from god freely and undeservedly , all the good things they enjoy , and particularly their children ? when therefore they design to bestow one or other of them for his more immediate service , they ought to give him the best , and not such a one as is unfit to be employed in any other ordinary business , which requires a person of tolerable sense and discretion . 2dly . they ought to have a single eye to the glory of god , and not to govern themselves by worldly and carnal respects and considerations . they must not look upon the ministry , as if it were only a trade to get wealth and riches , or as a way to come to honour , and to obtain preferment in the world. they ought to look upon this holy office with another eye , to wit , as it is appointed of god for divine and spiritual ends , to guide and direct men in the way to happiness , to shew them what they must do to obtain everlasting happiness , and to avoid hell and destruction , to teach them how to fight the good fight of faith , how to resist the devil , how to overcome the world , and how to be preserved from their deceitful and desperately wicked hearts . they ought to consider , that christ's ministers are appointed to be shepherds and watchmen , to feed and to watch over the flock , which he hath purchased with his blood ; to acquaint people with their danger ; to call upon them early and late ; to be upon their guard , to quit themselves like men , to be strong in the lord and in the power of his might . they must consider that it belongs to the ministers of the gospel to deal impartially with all sorts of people , and not to suffer sin upon them , but to reprove them plainly , to exhort them seriously to repent and amend ; and to direct them what they are to do for the time to come , lest they fall again into the same evil practices and customs . when therefore parents design a child for the holy ministry , they should at the same time consider , that he is to spend himself in the work of the gospel , that is , he must study , and pray , and watch , and preach , and visit , and converse , and do ▪ all other things which are needful to save souls ; he must be instant in season and out of season ; he must often and seriously consider what is farther to be done to convert sinners , to instruct the ignorant , to comfort the afflicted , to relieve the poor , to excite the remiss and negligent , to encourage the diligent , to strengthen the weak , to confirm the strong , to direct the zealous , to reclaim the erroneous , to convince gainsayers , to put to silence the ignorance of foolish men : and besides all this , he must be ready and willing to sacrifice his life in the service of his great master , if he be called thereto ; he must count nothing too dear , that he may finish his course with joy , and approve himself to the great shepherd and bishop of souls . thus parents , when they design any of their children for the holy ministry , ought to consider that they are to be employed in the greatest , the most painful , and most dangerous work in the world , and therefore , 3 dly . they ought to do all that in them lies , to fit and prepare such children , that they may undertake this sacred employment as they ought to do . more than ordinary care is to be taken that their minds be furnished with good impressions , that they be inspired with a great love to god , and with a mighty zeal for his honour and glory . they must be daily trained up in the practice of humility , of meekness , of patience , of temperance , of charity , and of all other virtues and graces ; they must be kept from seeing and hearing bad things , so far as may be ; their minds must be strongly fortified against temptations : and all that is possible must be done , to keep them from the danger that comes from evil company , and corrupt example . they must be entrusted to the good conduct of excellent and worthy persons , by whose means they may be formed to as high a sense of true piety as may be , that so , when they come abroad into the world , their light may shine before others . if parents , who dedicate their children to the holy ministry , would , in this manner , endeavour to act the part of men who have a lively sense of god upon their souls , who are possessed with a mighty zeal for his glory , and are earnestly desirous to promote the kingdom of jesus christ , we might hope to see very speedily the blessed effects of their pious endeavours , religion would flourish more than it does at this day , and impiety and irreligion would not so much triumph as , alas ! they do . secondly , when they are fit for marriage , parents are so to dispose of them , as that in all likelyhood they may be happy in such a state of life : * they are not to constrain then to marry against their will ; for such marriages are seldom happy ; they end too often in somewhat or other very tragical and calamitous , to one or t'other party , if not to both . great care is to be taken , that there be not too great inequality of outward state and condition ; for that occasions often neglect and contempt of the person that is inferiour to the other in some external advantages : nor yet too great inequality of years ; for that doth likewise , sooner or later , cause an abatement and decay , and sometimes an utter extinction of that respect and love which is necessary to make those who are married happy . parents are not , in disposing of their children in marriage , to govern themselves wholly by their respect to riches and honour ; but are to have a regard to virtue and goodness , so far , as to prefer one who is discreet and wise , of a virtuous and good disposition , to another that is foolish , or indiscreet , and prophane and atheistical , tho' attended with greater degrees of wealth and earthly honour . * 't is reported of themistocles , a famous athenian captain , that when several young men came i● suit of his daughter , he preferred one who was a wise and virtuous person , to another that was very rich. when some people wondered at this choice , he told them , he had rather have a man without money , than money without a man. what a great reproach is it to our religion , to think that so many parents , in disposing of their children , only consider how much wealth they may have , and what friends and alliances they may make , by marrying into such a family ? or what profits and preferments may be expected thereby ? as for any other thing , they do not much trouble their heads about it : they know no other happiness but in the things of this life , and therefore they seek nothing else for their children , but to make them great and wealthy ; * by which means it often comes to pass that they bring their children into a most miserable and unhappy state of life , in which they must pine away their days in sorrow and grief , in the company of foolish and wicked wretches , who are often in a fury and rage , who spend their time in gaming and drinking , in cursing and swearing , in quarrelling and fighting , in whoring and ranting and such like woful doings ; which cannot but prove to those , who have any the least degree of real goodness , so very uneasie and afflictive , that wealth and riches can make no amends for them . such unfortunate persons cannot but often envy ▪ the happiness of those who are in a very poor and low estate and condition , but yet live in peace and quietness , in love and concord , and in the fear of cod ; and so enjoy real satisfaction and contentment , and have a great deal of comfort to sweeten their outward wants and necessities . for as the wise man says , prov. 15. 16 , 17. better is little with the fear of the lord ; than great treasure , and trouble therewith . better is a dinner of herbs where love is , than a stalled ox , and hatred therewith . but besides all this , it too often falls out , that they who are given in marriage to vicious and profligate persons , are , sooner or later , involved in those judgments , which are caused by the sins and follies of the persons to whom they are matched . 't is true , such persons have a great deal to support their spirits , if they have not been partakers with them in their works of darkness : in this case , there is no doubt but their merciful and gracious god will order what they suffer for their good . but , alas ! it too often comes to pass , that they who are unequally yoked , either with persons of a false religion , or of a wicked life , do by degrees degenerate from their strict and virtuous education : tho' formerly they seemed to have a right sense of religion , and a great inclination to the best things , yet sooner or later , by the example and perswasions of their irreligious and atheistical relatives , they lose all sense of god , and give up themselves to all manner of wickedness . 't is said of jehoram , who was educated under a religious father , jehosaphat , 2 chron. 21. 6. that he walked in the way of the kings of israel , like as did the house of ahab , for he had the daughter of ahab to wife , &c. where 't is very observable , that this unequal marriage of jehoram , is noted as the cause of his great wickedness . and from the following verses it appears , how many heavy judgments fell upon him for his impiety . to what hath been said may be added , that the hurt and inconvenience attending such marriages , does not only affect the married persons themselves , but likewise extends to their off-spring and posterity , who are in great danger of being corrupted , as to their religion and manners , by the influence and example of their parents . 't is observed as one principal cause of the wickedness of rehoboam , ( 1 kings 14. 21. ) that his mother was an ammonitess ; which is repeated , v. 31. to shew us that 't is a matter which deserves to be taken notice of . to the same purpose 't is said of ahaziah king of judah , ( 2 king. 8. 27. ) that he walked in the way of the house of ahab , and did evil in the sight of the lord , as did the house of ahab ; for he was the son in law of the house of ahab . thirdly , parents are to provide for them , if they can , somewhat that may be a foundation for their comfortable subsistance in the world ; which by the blessing of god on their callings , may be improved towards their living decently and honestly . for this end , they ought to keep within compass , and to avoid all vain and unnecessary expences . parents ought to lay up for the children , says the apostle , 2 cor. 12. 14. and 2 tim. 5. 8. he that provideth not for his own , is worse than an infidel . parents are not to propose to themselves , the rendring their children very great and rich : but as they themselves having food and rayment , are to be therewith content ; so , if they can get necessaries for their children , they ought to rest satisfied , and be thankful . our life ( that is , the happiness of our life ) doth not consist in the abundance of the things we possess , luke 12. 15. tho' you are to provide for your children , yet you are not , out of too great thoughtfulness about the time to come , to restrain your selves from doing all necessary offices of charity to the poor , who do now stand in need of your help : never neglect a present duty for fear of an uncertain inconvenience : you are forbid to take thought for the morrow , mat. 6. 34. but you are required to do good to all men , while you have opportunity , gal. 6. 10. to cast your bread upon the waters : to give a portion to seven , as also unto eight , because you know not what evil there may be in the earth , eccles. 11. 1 , 2. this is the way to lay up treasures for your children ; to entail upon them great blessings ; to make god their guardian ; to leave them to his merciful and kind providence , and to his almighty protection . psal. 37. 25 , 26. i have been young , and now am old ; yet have i not seen the righteous forsaken , nor his seed begging bread. he is ever merciful and lendeth , and his seed is blessed . so that by your bounty and charity , you bring your wares to a good market , you put forth your money into god's hands , who will not fail to repay it with usury . for as the wise man saith , he that hath pity upon the poor , lendeth unto the lord , and that which he hath given will he pay him again . prov. 19. 17. the liberal soul shall be made fat , and he that watereth , shall be watered also himself , prov. 11. 25. he that gives to the poor shall not lack , prov. 28. 27. and deut. 15. 10. it is written , thou shalt surely give him , ( to wit , thy poor brother ) and thy heart shall not be grieved , when th●● givest unto him ; because that for this thing , the lord thy god shall bless thee ▪ in all thy works , and in all that th●● puttest thine hands unto . and in the epistle to the hebrews , chap. 6. v. 10. it is said , god is not unrighteous to forget your work , and labour of love , which you have shewed towards his name , in that you have ministred to the saints , and do minister . from all which it appears , that charity and liberality are the best husbandry . as you are to beware , lest your care for your children , make you neglect necessary duties of charity ; so you are to take heed , lest you use any unlawful method to get wealth to bestow upon them : this is not a way to make them rich ; for such riches seldom prosper : there is a curse which attends all unlawful gain , and like a canker eats it out , and consumes it . all ages and places afford examples , which confirm this observation . wealth gotten by vanity , saith solomon , shall be diminished , prov. 13. 11. and again , prov. 10. 3. he saith , treasures of wickedness profit nothing . and jer. 17. 11. 't is said , as the partridge sitteth on eggs , and hatcheth them not , so be that getteth riches and not by right , shall leave them in the midst of his days , and at his end shall be a fool. a small estate got honestly , is a hundredfold better than a vast and plentiful estate purchased by unrighteous methods . a little , saith the psalmist , psal. 37. 16. that a righteous man hath , is better than the riches of many wicked . and , better , saith solomon , prov. 16. 8. is a little with righteousness , than great revenues without right . as it is the duty of parents by all honest and lawful ways , to provide somewhat for their children , and to preserve it for them ; so they ought in due time to bestow upon them more or less of what they have acquired and purchased , and not wholly to delay the doing of this until their own decease . they ought , so far as they can , to afford their children whatever their present necessities or their lawful occasions do require : and the more virtuous and industrious they see their children , they ought to give them so much the more liberally , that they may have not only what is absolutely necessary for them , but likewise , what they may improve for the bettering their estate in the world ; that they may live decently , and may also have somewhat wherewith to help and relieve others . how great a reproach is it to some persons , who have a great deal of wealth , out of a woful covetous temper to suffer their children to go in rags , and to depend upon the charity or good nature of others , for a piece of bread ! such parents must needs be very unnatural , whose bowels are not stirred with compassion towards their children , when they see them in distress and want ; and who do not all they can for their necessary supply and assistance . but , tho parents ought to give their children chearfully and seasonably more or less of their worldly goods , yet they must have a care , lest out of an indiscreet fondness , they give them more than their own circumstances will permit . how many sad examples are there of children , who have either wholly neglected their parents , or who have not cared for them as they ought to have done , so soon as they were put into the possession of their estate and fortune ? whereas formerly , they seemed to carry themselves with all possible duty and affection , no sooner did their parents bestow all they had ( or at least , the greatest part ) upon them , but they begun to grow insolent towards them , and went on to so great a height of undutifulness , that their poor parents were forced to leave them , and thenceforth to live in a very melancholly and mournful condition . 't is therefore the wisdom of parents , so to give their children , as still to reserve to themselves what is needful for their own support : they ought rather to keep their children in a dependance upon them , than that they should depend upon their children . to this purpose is the advice of the son of syrach , ecclesiasticus 33. 18 , 19 , &c. hear me , o ye great men of the people , and hearken with your ears , ye rulers of the congregation . give not thy son and wife , thy brother and friend , power over thee while thou livest , and give not thy goods to another , lest it repent thee , and thou intreat for the same again . as long as thou livest and hast breath in thee , give not thy self over to any . for better it is that thy children should seek to thee , than that thou shouldest stand to their courtesie . in all thy works keep to thy self the preeminence , leave not a stain in thine honour . at the time when thou shalt end thy days and finish thy life , distribute thy inheritance . 4 thly . 't is the duty of parents to have their will and testament in readiness . they ought , while they are in health , to determine the several proportions of their worldly goods , which they intend to bestow on their children , and not to leave the doing of this till the very immediate approach of death . a wise man ought so to dispose of his affairs in time , that when he comes to die , he may have as little work to do as is possible . 't is very unfit , on many accounts , to leave the ordering of those things which relate to a man's estate unto the last hour . for , 1. no man knows if he shall have a leisurely passage out of the world , so as to have time to settle his affairs ; a thousand accidents may prevent this ; of which see [ discourse about the right way of improving our time , motive 2 d. ] 2 dly . tho' you should have time on your death-bed , for ordering your temporal affairs , yet what signifies time ( considered abstractly and separately ) if you are not fit to use it ? for ought you know , your sickness then may so affect your head , that you shall not be able to act any longer as rational creatures , but must be governed and taken care of by others , as if you were children upon the breasts , or perhaps as persons in a much more sad and lamentable condition . now therefore , it is fit for all who are wise , to provide against such casualties , and not to delay so important and necessary a work to an uncertain moment . 3 dly . supposing you have a leisurely passage out of this life , together with the use of your reason all the while , yet consider , that you are likely to have enough to do in your last hours , tho' the ordering of your temporal concerns do not then lie upon your hands . your spiritual enemies will , very probably , at that time , muster up all their forces , and use their utmost effort , either to conquer you , or to frighten and disturb you : you will then find that all your preparation is little enough , that you may finish your course with joy : the sight of death will make you see a great many things , far otherwise than you saw them in time of health : the things of this life will then appear very little and inconsiderable , and eternity will appear as a vast and boundless ocean : your good actions will appear but very few and imperfect , and your sins and follies very many and great . thus it is generally with the best and most holy persons ; and therefore , 't is your wisest and safest course , to dispatch , not only as much of your great business as you can before the approach of death , but likewise to dispose of your worldly concerns in such a manner , that they may not prove a hindrance and a burthen to you at that time , when you are to have a sharp conflict with the king of terrors . but besides all these considerations , which ought to excite you to put your house in order , in time of your health ; consider farther , that by so doing , you will prevent a great deal of trouble and confusion , and of strife and division , which oft-times happen amongst children , when their several portions are not assigned them by the will of their parents . how sad is it to reflect upon so many instances of this kind , as have happened in our days ! it cannot but be look'd upon as a great reproach to our holy religion , to see brethren , and other near relations , contending , and going to law with one another , and thereby laying the foundation of lasting variance and discord , of bitterness and wrath , of anger and clamour , of malice and envy , &c. which too often are concluded , with the desolation and destruction of one or other of the contending parties , if not of the whole family . how needful therefore is it for parents to make their will in good time ? when they are in health , when their understanding is good , when their memory is perfect , when they are able to think of business , and to judge calmly and discreetly of what they do ; when they can call to mind what they owe , and what is owing to them . and because of the great falsehood and wickedness of the world , by which it often happens that the true sense of mens words are perverted , it is likewise very fit that parents , in setting their house in order , have the advice of those who are skilful , upright , and faithful persons , by whose assistance their will may be framed in such terms and expressions , as may ( so far as is possible ) prevent the cavils of crafty and ungodly men. as parents ought to use a great deal of caution and circumspection in all things relating to their last will , so particularly in the choice of guardians for their children , who , after their own decease , may act the part of parents towards them , and may promote their happiness and welfare , both in temporal and spiritual things . if you know amongst your near relations those who are wise and prudent , true and upright persons , who fear and love god , and of whose sincere kindness you have had long experience , 't is very reasonable to prefer them before strangers . * but if you have found others more sincere and upright , more prudent and discreet , more kind and loving , more constant in their friendship , and more faithful to your true interest , than your nearer relations have been , you ought rather to entrust your children to their care , than to those , who , tho' your kinsmen , have given you no great ground to expect much kindness and faithfulness at their hands towards your children . if they have not been very faithful to you , 't is but madness to expect that they should prove more faithful to them . tho' they may grow better , yet no wise man ought to trust so great and dear a concern to such an uncertainty . thus i have shewed you what are the principal duties you owe to the souls and bodies of your children , and what you are to do for them as to their outward estate . the above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to parents . from what hath been said you may see , what a weighty and difficult charge you have ; the sense whereof should excite you to beg of god earnestly every day , that he would direct and assist you , to perform the duties that belong to christian parents . that you may the better act your part ; 't is fit for you , when you call your selves to an account about your lives and conversations , to make enquiry particularly how you perform the duties of parents towards your children , as to their souls , their bodies , and outward concerns : and if , upon serious enquiry , you find that you sincerely endeavour to do whatever you know your selves to be bound to do for them ; then bless and praise god , who gives you both to will and to do according to his good pleasure : beg his pardon for those imperfections and defects that attend all humane actions , resolve to go on , and not to grow weary in your duty towards them ; that so they may be as happy in all respects , as is possible for you , by the help of god , to make them . but if upon inquiry , you find that you have been very negligent in your duty towards your children ; that you have done very little good for their souls , and not what you should , and might have done for their bodies and outward estate ; and that perhaps you have done them a great deal of hurt by your evil counsel , and prophane and wretched example ; that you have led them on in the broad way , which leads to the chambers of death , that you have robbed god , who bestowed them on you , of their service and obedience ; and have made them the servants of sin ; that you have contributed to the making them heirs of wrath , and children of disobedience , who were made by their baptism , children of god , and inheritors of the kingdom of heaven ; that you have done what tended to destroy eternally those souls and bodies , which god intrusted with you , that you might take care of them , and do what you could to make them happy . if , i say , upon enquiry into your hearts and lives , you find your selves guilty of those things , how great reason have you to be in bitterness and grief of heart , to weep and lament , to abhor your selves in dust and ashes , to confess and acknowledge your sins with great humility and contrition , to implore the divine mercy and forgiveness with all earnestness , for the sake of his dear son ; to resolve and purpose sincerely to amend your ways and doings ; to beg grace from god , that he would assist you , that he would compass you about with his salvation , and never leave you nor forsake you ; that he would give you his holy spirit to sanctifie you , to wash and cleanse you , to lead and guide you , to support and strengthen you , to revive and quicken you , to carry you from strength to strength , and from grace to grace , till you come and appear before him in sion . consider the particular things wherein you have hurt the souls of your children , and failed in your duty to them , as to their bodies and outward concerns : and the more you find you have done amiss , resolve so much the more to be zealous to do them good ; to double your diligence in promoting the welfare and happiness both of their souls and bodies . tell them so far as is meet , what you now see and feel ; let them know that you have been out of the way , that you have misled them , and brought both your selves and them in danger of being undone , and ruined eternally : tell them what you resolve to do , and what you and they ought to do , and must do , or else that you will certainly perish . delay not to do this one moment : fly like a bird out of the snare of the fowler . your souls lie at the stake , and therefore do what men use to do to save their lives ; skin for skin , and all that a man hath , will be give for his life . men are ready to part with any thing to save their lives ; they 'l part with house and lands , with silver and gold , with their whole estate and substance , to save their bodies alive , which must die at last , and , for ought they know , may die within a very few days or hours . how much more ought you , that you may save your own souls , and the souls of your children , to part with your ●ile and unruly lusts and passions , your vain foolish habits and customs , which are your reproach and dishonour , which are the worst things in the world , which can do you no good , if you hold them still , but will certainly do you a great deal of mischief ? they will prove the cause of your destruction ; they will deprive you of all that is good and excellent ; they will cut you off from the favour of god , the love of christ , and the fellowship of the blessed spirit ; they will likewise deprive you of the assistance and ministry of the holy angels , and the comfortable society of the saints departed ; they will exclude you for ever from the kingdom of heaven , the crown of righteousness , the peace , the joy , the love , and glory of the future state : all this your sins will deprive you of ; and instead thereof , they will expose you to the wrath of god , to the devouring fire , to everlasting burnings , to blackness of darkness , to weeping and gnashing of teeth , to the wretched and cursed company of devils and damned souls , to the worm which never dieth , which will gnaw you , and torment you for ever : and will you chuse all this rather than part with your lusts , that you may be for ever happy , and have fulness of joy and pleasures for evermore ? will you be so mad , as to prefer hell and death , everlasting misery and woe , to heaven and everlasting life , to blessedness and glory ? and will you still continue to be so cruel to your poor children , as to draw them along with you to the bottomless pit ? now is the time for you to become either happy or miserable ; if you repent and amend , and act the part of wise and religious parents , you may be happy ; for god will have mercy upon you . isa. 55. 7. let the wicked forsake his way , and the unrighteous man his thoughts : and let him return unto the lord , and he will have mercy upon him , and to our god , for he will abundantly pardon . follow therefore the example of the psalmist , psal. 119. 59 , 60. i thought on my ways , and turned my feet unto thy testimonies , i made haste and delayed not to keep thy commandments . resolve without delay to forsake your wicked customs and practices : begin in earnest to work out your own salvation : and do all that lies in your power to make your children wise and good . but if , instead of this , you continue in your sin and folly , setting at naught god's counsels , and despising his reproofs , putting the evil day far from you , promising your selves peace and safety , tho' you walk after your own hearts lusts ; making a mock at sin , and laughing at all that is sacred and serious ; and by your wicked example destroying the souls and bodies of your poor children ; then assure your selves god will not be mocked ; he will at last whet his sword and bend his bow , and make ready his arrows against his adversaries ; he will render to you according to your works ; he will in no wise clear the guilty . consider the terrible threatning which is mentioned , deut. 29. 19 , 20. against the man , who , when he heareth the words of the curse , does bless himself in his heart , saying , i shall have peace , tho' i walk in the imagination of my heart , to add drunkenness to thirst : [ the lord will not spar● him , but the anger of the lord and his jealousie shall smoke against that man ; and all the curses that are written in this book shall lie upon him , and the lord shall blot out his name from under heaven . ] concerning the duty of parents when god removeth their children by death . the death of children as well as aged persons , falls out so very often , that it cannot but be seasonable to a great many parents to suggest to them some plain and easie considerations , which they may sometimes reflect upon , and imprint on their minds , that so they may not be surprised with the death of their children , nor swallowed up of excessive and immoderate grief . parents ought to consider , when their children dye , first , that it is the lord who does it : he who is lord of life , who gave life to themselves and to their children , is also lord of death , and removes out of the world whom , and when , he sees fit , he is the great potter ; and man is the clay , which he hath formed and fashioned into a curious and beautiful shape ; and animated with an immortal soul : when he sees fit to break this brittle vessel in pieces , and to separate the soul from it , who can stay his hand ? or who dare say unto him , what dost thou ? may not he do with his own , what he thinks good ? or must he give an account of his actions , unto the work of his own hands ? he is infinitely great and powerful ; and therefore will do according to his own good pleasure : he is infinitely wise , and knows what 's best and fittest to be done : he is infinitely good and kind , and therefore will order all things for good : and he is infinitely just and righteous , and therefore can do no wrong . it 's fit therefore that parents , when god removes their children from them by death , submit chearfully to the will of him , who is infinitely powerful , wise , good , and just ; and that they adore him , and say with ely , 1 sam. 3. 18. it is the lord , let him do what seemeth him good . and with the royal psalmist , ps. 39. 9. i was dumb , i opened not my mouth ; because thou didst it . secondly , they should consider that their children were born mortal , frail by nature , subject to a necessity of dying , by their very composition and frame ; and also by the decree of heaven , heb. 9. 27. it is appointed for all men once to dye . and therefore when god sees fit to remove them by death , to make the house of clay fall down about their ears , parents ought not to be surprised . this is nothing but what falls out daily : some are going out of the world , and some are coming into it : some are a great while upon the stage , and some but a very short while ; some no sooner enter upon it , but presently they are gone , and are seen no more ; some take a few turns , and then they are withdrawn ; some tarry longer , and act a great part on the stage , for a considerable time , and give hopes of yet greater actions and performances ; but on a sudden they are gone likewise , as a shadow ; and all their own designs and projects , and the hopes and expectations of others fall to the ground . all this happens every day in the course of things here in the world ; and therefore parents have no reason to think it strange when they see their children dye . the thing that hath been , it is that which shall be ; and that which is done , is that which shall be done ; and there is no new thing under the sun , eccles. 1. 9. and as it is with men , so it is with all things else , which live upon the earth , or grow out of it : some live longer and some a shorter while than others of the same kind : some prosper and thrive , and others decay and perish . some things grow up in the morning , and are withered e're night : some things grow apace till they are very near the time of ripeness and perfection ; and then somewhat happeneth , which prevents the perfect growth , and makes the goodly appearance come to nothing : now , what are men ? moses in his prayer ( ps. 90. 5 , 6. ) tells us , in the morning they are like grass , which groweth up ; in the morning it flourisheth and groweth up : in the evening it is cut down and withereth . and to the same purpose the psalmist david speaketh , psal. 103. 15 , 16. as for man his days are as grass , as a flower of the field , so he flourisheth , for the wind passeth over it , and it is gone , and the place thereof shall know it no more . likewise esa. 40. 6 , 7. it is thus written , the voice said cry. and he said , what shall i cry ? all flesh is grass , and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field . the grass withereth , the flower fadeth , because the spirit of the lord bloweth upon it : surely the people is grass . by all which it appears what man is by nature , to wit , a very weak and vanishing thing , soon nipt and brought to nothing ; like the tender grass , and the flower of the field , which is more exposed to the winds and other inconveniences , than the flowers of the garden , which the gardiner preserves and secures . the consideration of these things , will tend mightily to quiet the minds of those who calmly and wisely reflect upon them , when god removes their children , or other relations from them by death . their case is not singular , it is that which is common and usual amongst men ; it is according to the course of nature for a mortal thing to die . plutarch reports of anaxagoras , an ancient philosopher , that when he was discoursing to his hearers concerning the causes of natural things , one brought him the news of his sons death ; upon which , after a little pause , he said to those who were present , i knew i begat a son that was mortal . the consideration of this did quiet the thoughts of this heathen . but what if the manner of the death of your children be somewhat extraordinary , by some sudden and unusual accident , or by some strange and odd distemper ; are you on this account to allow your selves in the excesses of sorrow and mourning ? no , in no ways : you are not therefore to be transported into immoderate grief and mourning . shall you be vexed and disquieted , because a worm did eat up your pleasant fruit , or because the stormy wind did blow away your lovely flowers ? are you therefore to be enraged and mad with anger against the worms , or against the winds ? what would it mend the matter , if you should give way to your passion and anger never so much in such a case ? this would only multiply your losses , by making you lose not only your fruit and your flowers , but your selves too : which they all do , who lose their patience , in which it is that we possess our souls . when therefore your children are removed from you by death , in some unusual and extraordinary manner , you ought to look beyond diseases , or accidents , unto the lord of life and death ; who by his providence ordereth not only their death , but the manner of it . if the sparrows fall not to the ground , that is , die not , without your father : you may be sure your children do not die by chance , or without the particular disposal of their heavenly father . as to the particular grounds and reasons , for which god does after such a manner see fit to put an end to your childrens days , you are not to be too curious and inquisitive . the counsels of god are a great deep : his ways are in the deep waters ; and none by searching can find him out unto perfection , job 11. 7. upon such occasions all ought to remember the words of our lord , when they told him of the galileans , whose blood pilate hath mingled with their sacrifices , luke 13. 2 , 3 , 4 , 5. suppose ye that these galileans were sinners above all the galileans , because they suffered such things ? i tell you , nay : but except ye repent , ye shall all likewise perish . or those eighteen upon whom the tower of si●oe fell , and slew them , think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in jerusalem ? i tell you , nay : but except ye repe●t , ye shall all likewise perish . we see what was aarons carriage , when god removed his two sons nadab and abihu by a very extraordinary stroke . levit. 10. 2. there went fire from the lord and devour'd them , &c. and v. 3. 't is said , that aaron 〈◊〉 his peace . he did not murmur against the justice of god , or complain as if he had been too severe . no , he was silent ; he submitted to the will 〈◊〉 god , and considered that the honour of god ought to be dearer to him tha● the lives of his two sons . in like manner we see how job carried himself , when god removed 〈◊〉 seven sons and three daughters , all at one blow , in an extraordinary manner , job 1. 18 , 19. thy sons and thy da●ghters were eating and drinking wine 〈◊〉 their eldest brothers house ; and 〈◊〉 there came a great wind from the wilderness , and smote the four corners 〈◊〉 the house , and it fell upon the young men , and they are dead . this was sad news to the good old man , who had ●●rd so much ill news before . but yet for all this , you see how patiently ●e hare his affliction . he fell down ●pon the ground and worshipped , and said , naked came i out of my mothers womb , and naked shall i return thither : the lord gave , and the lord hath taken 〈◊〉 , blessed be the name of the lord , job . 1. 20 , 21. this good man was so far from cursing god , which satan said ●e would do , that he humbly adored and worshipped him . he was so far from blasphemeing god , and from entertaining any dishonourable thoughts of him , as if he had done any thing which he ought not to have done , that , 〈◊〉 the contrary , he approved of all , he acquiesced in the divine pleasure ; he considered , that all that he once enjoyed , was a free and undeserved gift from god , which he so gave , as still to reserve to himself the supreme power of disposing of it , as he should think good ; and therefore , when all was taken away from him , he blessed the name of the lord ; he did not quarrel with the divine providence , but was heartily thankful , not only for the former mercies , but also for th● present correction and chastisement which he knew to proceed from infinite wisdom , goodness , and justice . to the abovementioned instances from scripture , might be added several examples of the patience and composedness of spirit , which some heathens discovered , when their children were suddenly snatched away by a violent and untimely death . i shall only mention two , related by plutarch . the 1 st is , of dio of syracuse , who , as he was busie in consulting with his friends about matters of importance , heard a great noise and tumult in the house , which occasioned his enquiring what the matter was ; and being told that his son was dead by a fall from the roof of the house , he received this sad news without discovering any perturbation of mind ; and having given orders that the dead body should be delivered into the hands of the women , that they might take care of it , and that it should be buried in the accustomed manner ; he went on in his design , to consult with his friends about the business that was before him . the other instance , is , of xenophon , who , when he was employed in offering sacrifice , received the news of his son 's being killed in battel ; at the hearing of which he pull'd off the garland from his head , wherewith it was then covered , and having askt the manner of his son's death , and being told that he died fighting valiantly for his country , he quickly brought his mind , which was a little disturb'd , into subjection to his reason , and again putting on the garland , he went on with his sacrifice , and told those who brought him the news of his son's death , i never pray'd the gods to make my son immortal , or very long liv'd ( it being very uncertain if that be expedient ) but to make him an honest man , and a lover of his country : and now , said he , i have my desire . thirdly , consider from whence , and whither they are gone . they were here in a life of vexation and trouble ; subject to innumerable vanities , temptations , snares , and dangers : they were compassed about with great and terrible enemies , the devil , the world , and the flesh : they were subject to daily necessities and wants . i● they had lived never so long , they would only have seen the same things in a continual succession and revolution : as for example , heat and cold , fair weather and foul , might and day , summer and winter , health and sickness , plenty and poverty , peace and war , prosperity and adversity , succeeding one to another : all things going round . but now they are delivered from all these ; they are at rest , they are subject to no more necessities and wants ; oppressed with no more troubles and vexations ; exposed to no more enemies , temptations , or dangers ; but exalted to a state of perfect peace , joy , love , and glory . they are as well and better than you can desire : you are not able to comprehend the happiness that they are admitted to . will you then be in continual sorrow and grief for your children , when they are exalted to a state of rest and glory ; when they are where you would rejoyce to be ; when their gracious father hath freed them from the vain company of the world , and translated them into the blessed society of angels , and of the spirits of just men made perfect ; when he hath put an end to their toil and labour , to their fighting and wrestling against their enemies , and bestowed on them a crown of glory , and an everlasting inheritance ; when he hath broken their bonds asunder , wherein they were held and kept in captivity and slavery , and hath put them into a state of perfect and glorious freedom ? the consideration of these things should mitigate and asswage your sorrow and grief , and fill you with unspeakable comfort and gladness . but some are apt to say , i should rejoyce , if i thought that my children , who are dead , were in heaven : but this i do not know . as to this , you are not to trouble your thoughts about it ; for god does not see fit to acquaint you with such things . secret things belong to god ; and things revealed to us and to our children , deut. 29. 29. if your children , while they were alive , minded good things ; and if you did your part to instruct them , and to make them what god requires them to be , you are not to be any further solicitous about their everlasting state : you are to hope that they are very happy , and you are to comfort your selves with these thoughts . others are apt to say , i am afraid that my children are not in a happy state ; they did very bad things , and used bad company ; and therefore i have cause to fear , and to be troubled about them , now that they are dead . as to such parents , who have had wretched children , they ought not to suffer their minds to be disordered , and oppressed with grief and sorrow , because their children , who died , were wicked . if they did their duty to make them better ; if they advised and admonished them ; if they reproved them , and , as was fitting , chastened them ; if they desired others to deal with them , to see what they could do towards the reclaiming of them ; if they prayed to god for them , and gave them a good example : they are not any further to be troubled and disquieted concerning them , when god takes them into his own hand ; he is wise and good , holy and just , he does all things well , for excellent and glorious ends ; and therefore parents ought to leave them to his disposal , who is the supreme governour of the world , and judge of the whole earth . whatever he does , whether in mercy or justice , is always best . the inhabitants of the other world , who are translated into a state of heavenly glory , are not under the power of such passions and partialities , as govern us here below . the glorified parents of damned children , are not under any uneasiness on that or any other account : the will of god and his glory is their all ; they know that whatever he does is most perfectly just and good , and for his honour ; and therefore all things afford them great pleasure and delight , true and lasting joy and satisfaction of mind . there 's nothing able to interrupt the happiness and joy of those in glory : they are perfectly and eternally delivered from all sort of evils , both of sin and punishment : they are placed above the reach of whatever may render them in the least uneasie . but there is a third sort ; of those who are troubled , not only because their children were bad and prophane , but because they were so through their example or neglect . as for such , i have already in general shewed them what they ought to do . i shall only add ; that since they have been so faulty and defective in their duty towards their deceased children , they ought to be the more careful of those who are yet alive , and to do all that is possible to make them what god requires them to be . as to those who have no more children left them , it would be very fit for them to take into their care one or more children , upon whom they may bestow all that pains and care which they should have bestowed in the right education of their own ; and endeavour , by god's help , to make them truly pious and religious , and patterns of all sorts of virtue to others . this is an office which will be very acceptable to god , and one of the best demonstrations which parents can make of the sincerity of their repentance , for their not having done their duty to their own children . fourthly , consider , that there will be a resurrection of all those that are dead . the mighty power of god , which made all things out of nothing , will also gather together the scattered dust of those who are deceased , and will reform and rebuild , as it were , their bodies which are fallen down , and consumed . he will raise them up again in a more excellent , perfect , and glorious manner . then shall you meet with your children and friends who died in the lord , and behold them after another manner ▪ than you saw them here in this world. instead of weak and diseased bodies , you shall see them strong , vigorous , and lively bodies : instead of frail and dying bodies , you shall see immortal and incorruptible bodies : instead of filthy and vile bodies , you shall see pure and glorious bodies : and you shall see them so as to be with them for ever , so as never any more to be separated from them by death , or any other thing ; for you and they shall die no more : 1 cor. 15. 42 , 43 , 44. so also is the resurrection of the dead . it is sown in corruption , it is raised in incorruption ; it is sown in dishonour , it is raised in glory . it is sown in weakness , it is raised in power . it is sown a natural body , it is raised a spiritual body : and , vers . 53. this corruptible must put on incorruption , and this mortal must put on immortality . how gladly would poor people part with their dearest children , if they could be assured of seeing them again in an honourable state and condition , exalted to great dignity and honour ? and will not you , who have the hopes of a glorious resurrection , be comforted in the absence of your children ? when their merciful god and father takes them away from you unto himself ; not to do them hurt , but good ; to make them happy and blessed with himself for ever ; to bestow upon them what eye hath not seen , nor ear heard , nor which hath entred into the heart of man to conceive ? consider the words of the apostle to the thessalonians , 1 epist. 4. 13 , 14. but i would not have you to be ignorant , brethren , concerning them which are asleep , that ye sorrow not , even as others which have no hope : for if we believe that jesus dyed and rose again , even so them , which sleep in jesus , will god bring with him . fifthly , your giving way to excessive grief and mourning , can do you no good , but will certainly do you a great deal of hurt and mischief in many respects . it cannot bring back your children that are dead . though you should break your hearts into a thousand pieces , by your weeping and mourning , and waste and consume your years in constant heaviness and sorrow ; tho' you should never henceforth allow your selves one moment of relaxation of mind ; after all , you must go to them , they shall not return to you . now what a folly is it for men to consume , to disquiet , and to torment themselves , where it is to no purpose at all to do so ? and not only do you thereby no good at all to your selves , but you do your selves a great deal of mischief and prejudice . you provoke god to anger against you , to bring upon you yet heavier and more grievous punishments , and to deprive you of other mercies and comforts , which you still enjoy . you do thereby no small hurt to your bodies ; you bring upon your selves very dangerous distempers , which will make you unfit for the actions of life , and the duties of your calling . you likewise do unspeakable mischief to your souls ; you deprive your selves of that vigour and chearfulness of spirit , that is needful to make you fit to serve god acceptably . you thereby weaken your memory , and darken and disorder your reason and understanding , and so expose your selves to all the sad consequences of a disordered and distracted mind . your example does also a great deal of hurt to others : your impatience and immoderate sorrow and mourning teacheth others to do so upon the like occasion . hereby you bring no small reproach upon our holy religion , as if it were not sufficient to support and fortifie us against our crosses and afflictions , and to comfort us amidst the uneasie things which god sees fit to exercise us with in this world. what an excellent example is david unto you in this matter ? when god struck his child , so that it was very sick , he fasted and prayed ; but when the child died , he arose from the earth , and washed and anointed himself , and changed his apparel , and c●me unto the house of the lord , and worshipped : then he came to his own house ; and when he required , they 〈◊〉 bread before him , and he did eat . then said his servants unto him , what thing is this that thou hast done ? thou didst fast and weep for the child , while it was alive ; but when the child was dead , thou didst rise and eat bread. and he said , while the child was yet alive , i fasted and wept ; for i said , who can tell , whether god will be gracious unto me , that the child may live ? but now he is dead , wherefore should i fast ? can i bring him again ? i shall go to him , but he shall not return to me , 2 sam. 12. 15 , 16 , &c. thus ought all parents to do , who fear god. when the lord layeth his hand upon your children , you ought to pray to god for them , and to use all lawful means for their recovery : but when he ●ees fit to take them away by death , you ought patiently to submit to his will ; this is your wisest course ; it is the way to make your selves happy , and to enjoy comfort and satisfaction of mind under your crosses . this is the likeliest and readiest way to obtain new mercies and favours from the lord , instead of those you are deprived of : thus you see the lord dealt with job : jam. 5. 11. ye have heard of the patience of job , and have seen the end of the lord : that the lord is very pitiful , and of tender mercy . and , job 42. 12 , 13. the lord blessed the latter end of job , more than his beginning . and , vers . 16 , 17. after this lived job an hundred and forty years , and saw his sons , and his sons sons , even four generations . so job dyed , being old and full of days . but if god see it more fit to withhold from you the blessings of the womb , and to bestow no more children upon you ; he can and will make up this want , with much greater and better blessings . what you want in temporals , you shall have in spirituals . as elkanah said to hannah , 1 sam. 1. 8. he will be better to you than ten sons . he will give you a name better than of sons and daughters , even an everlasting name , that shall not be cut off . isa. 56. 5. the duty of parents on their death-bed . the shortness and great uncertainty of your time , ought to make you very careful , while you are in health , to improve , as well as you can , the present opportunities of doing good to your children , both as to their spiritual and temporal concerns . there can be no greater folly , than to delay the doing whatever is needful for your childrens real happiness and welfare , meerly out of a vain expectation of having time enough to do every thing of this kind , when you lie upon your death-bed . 't is strange , that men who daily see the casualties which others do meet with , and who have power to consider the great dangers their own lives have been exposed to , should notwithstanding flatter themselves with such thoughts , and be so far bewitched thereby , as to neglect any duty of importance and necessity , which now they have sufficient opportunity to do . and therefore , while you are in health , fail not to do all the good you can to your children both for their souls and bodies , and for their outward estate . but , if it shall please god to afford you time and leisure , upon your death-bed , to do any thing for their benefit , neglect not at such a time to do whatever your weakness and sickness will permit . particularly , 1 st , give them your best advice : direct them according to their capacities : consider what their faults and defects most commonly have been , and suggest to them such things as god shall bring into your mind , to make them sensible of their faults , and to rescue them from their evil habits . consider what those things are , whereby they are most likely to be endangered , and strive to fortifie their minds with such wholesom precepts and maxims , as may tend to preserve them for the time to come . consider what good thing does appear in any of them , and endeavour to stablish their minds in virtue and goodness , in the fear and love of god. amongst other things , 't is 〈◊〉 to recommend to them unity and concord , that they love one another heartily , and be ready to assist and serve one another to the utmost of their power , that they be friendly monitors to one another , and take it kindly and thankfully when they are so deale with . then likewise you may advise them , to endeavour , as much as is possible , to live peaceably with all men ; to be careful , not to wrong any body by word or deed , but on the contrary to seek the welfare of others , to strive to do all the good they can in the world , and to make it as their necessary food to glorifie god. david's example is worthy of the imitation of all religious parents at such a time , of whom 't is said , 1 king. 2. 1 , 2 , 3 , 4. he charged solomon his son , saying , i go the way of all the earth : be thou strong therefore and shew thy self a man. and keep the charge of the lord thy god , to walk in his ways , to keep his statutes and his commandments , and his judgments , and his testimonies , as it is written in the law of moses , that thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest , and whithersoever thou turnest thy self : that the lord may confirm his word , which he spake concerning me , &c. 2 dly . pray to god to bless them , to sanctifie them , and to preserve them ; that he would never leave them nor forsake them , that he would be their god and guide , and their portion for ever , that he would possess them with his fear , and keep them in his love , and preserve them from sin , and from all their spiritual enemies , and that he would order all things for their good . the fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much at all times , but never more than when he is stepping into eternity , and going to his heavenly father . parents therefore , at this time , ought to be importunate with god , especially for spiritual blessings to their children , that he would grant them his grace , to walk in his ways , and to keep his commandments , and that his kind providence may be their inheritance . 3 dly . it will be very fit at such a time , to commend them to some of your friends , whom you have found true and faithful , sincere and upright , and kind and loving to you and yours . this is especially needful to be done for those children , who are less able to look to themselves . 't will be of unspeakable advantage to them , in many respects , to be directed and assisted by those who are their true friends , who by their counsel and advice , and by doing other good offices for them , will be as eyes , and hands , and feet unto them , and will prove a defence unto them against a great deal of danger and mischief , till such time as they are capable to mind their own business , and are fixt and settled in the world. having discoursed of the duties of natural parents , 't will not be amiss to say somewhat concerning the duty of those who are in the place of parents , such as step-fathers and step-mothers ( or fathers and mothers in law ) and guardians . and first , concerning the duties of step-fathers and step-mothers . the first and chief thing which belongs to the care of step-parents , is , to do all that they can for the benefit of their childrens souls . they ought to endeavour to season their tender minds with the fear and love of god , to reform what is amiss in their temper and humour by all kind and prudent methods , to teach them to worship god , to remember their creator in the days of their youth : they ought to see that they be taught to read ; that they spend the lord's day well , and that they frequent the place of publick worship : they ought to make them understand what was promised in their name at their baptism , and to encourage them to renew their baptismal covenant , if they have an opportunity : they ought to advise them to come to the lord's table so soon as they are fit for it , and then , as also at other times , to examine themselves , and to call themselves to a strict and serious account , they ought to observe what remarkable mercies and providences they meet with , and to acquaint them therewith so soon as they are capable to reflect on such things : they ought likewise , to talk to them often of the various providences which either they have met with themselves , or which they have observed in the world , that thereby the childrens minds may be affected with a due sense of the power , the greatness , the wisdom , the mercy , and the justice of god. to render all which endeavours effectual , they must be examples of piety to them : they must see what company they use , and do what they can to keep them out of ill company , and to acquaint them with those who have a sense of good things : they must reprove them when it is needful , but with great mildness and discretion : and as for correcting and chastening of them , they ought to leave that part to the natural parent , if alive ; but if the natural parent be dead , then they may correct them when it is necessary , according to their age : but in this great caution ought to be used , they must do it with the greatest gentleness and tenderness that is possible , not only out of conscience , but prudence , to prevent all occasion , which a great many are apt to take , to reflect upon them , and to censure them severely and unjustly , when they do any thing that looks like unkindness or sharpness to their step-children . 't is therefore very adviseable , when correction is necessary , to acquaint some of the childrens relations ( if they be not at too great a distance ) with their fault , and so to correct them by their advice , and , if possible , in their presence , that they may be , as it were , witnesses of their doing nothing but what is absolutely fit and needful to be done for the advantage of the children . step-parents ought also to take the opportunity of their childrens sickness , or of any other adversity they meet with , to set home upon their minds such admonitions and counsels as they were not so apt to mind when they were in health . and to all their other endeavours , they ought to joyn their daily prayers to god for them , that he would bless them , and make them his faithful and obedient children and servants . as step-parents ought principally to take care of the souls of their step-children , so they must not neglect their bodies . their duty as to this , is , in a word , to take care that they have necessary and convenient food and rayment . as to the outward estate of step-children , tho' parents are not obliged to give them any great portion of their worldly goods , especially if they have , or are like to have children of their own , to give such things to ; yet they ought to be careful , that the portions , which of right belong to their step-children , be preserved and improved for their use and advantage , according to the will of the deceased parent . when they are fit for a trade or any honest way of getting their livelyhood , they ought to assist them all they can , that they may be placed forth as happily and comfortably as may be . in like manner when they are fit for marriage , they ought to express a great deal of readiness and chearfulness to serve them to the utmost of their power ; they ought to assist them with their best advice and hearty counsel in a matter of so great importance . and , in a word , they ought not to be wanting to them in any thing that may be useful and beneficial to them , either as to their souls , or bodies , or as to their outward concerns . some motives to stir up step-parents to do these things . it cannot but excite step-parents , to perform the above-mentioned duties for the benefit of their children , both in their spiritual and temporal concerns , if they seriously consider , 1 st , the nature of their marriage relation , whereby they become one flesh with those to whom they are married . when god made the woman , and brought her to the man , gen. 2. 24. he said , therefore shall a man leave his father and mother , and cleave unto his wife , and they shall be one flesh. now , by virtue of this near relation and close union , they ought to have a tender regard for the interests and concerns of one another ; and the dearer any thing is to the one , the greater affection ought the other to have towards it . as therefore 't is past all doubt , that children are the dearest and most valued and beloved earthly thing that natural parents have , upon this account , it is very reasonable , that step-parents should express a great regard and affection for them . 2. this is the way to preserve and to increase that mutual love , which ought to be 'twixt man and wife . if a step-parent is kind and loving to the children , and careful to promote their happiness and welfare , it cannot but have an influence on the natural parent , so as to produce an increase of love and respect , which will render the lives of the married persons very easie and comfortable . whereas , on the other hand , if step-parents are rough , unkind , and unnatural to their step-children , it must needs cause a great deal of mischief ; it will certainly cool , if not quite alienate the affection of the natural parent , and when once this happens , there is thenceforth nothing but strife and contention , jealousies and suspicions , which are ordinarily attended with very sad and dreadful effects , to the utter ruin of one or t'other party , if not of both . 3. this is the way to make the children very respectful and kind , and very dutiful and obedient to them , when they use them kindly , are careful to seek their happiness and welfare , and carry themselves towards them in all respects , as they ought to do . whereas , on the contrary , by being unkind to them , and unconcerned for their happiness and welfare , they provoke them to hate them , and to prove disrespectful and disobedient to them . 4. this is the way to gain a great deal of love and respect from all those who are related to the deceased parents , who cannot chuse but resent it very kindly , when they see the children of their friends well used , and taken care of both as to their souls and bodies : this will make them ready upon all occasions to serve them , and to do them the best offices which are in their power : whereas , on the other hand , if they see the poor children of their deceased friends neglected and contemned , wrong'd and abus'd by unkind step-parents , they must needs take it in very ill part , and resent it heavily ; yea , and all other persons , who see or hear of such unkindness , severity , and injustice , towards poor children , cannot chuse but think very ill of those , who discover themselves to be altogether void , not only of religion , but of humanity also . from what hath been said , it appears how very just and reasonable it is , for step-parents to be heartily concerned both for the spiritual and temporal welfare and happiness of their children . and therefore , how much are they to be condemned , who make no conscience at all of doing any thing for the benefit of either their souls or bodies ? as to their souls , some step-parents are so far from endeavouring to season them with good impressions , and to fortifie them against tentations , that they themselves are their greatest tentation , and do them the greatest hurt and prejudice . as to their bodies , they grudge them necessary food and rayment , and seldom let them have any thing with good will. and as to their outward estate , they are so far from improving for their advantage , the portion of worldly goods that belongeth to them , that , on the contrary , they use their utmost policy to rob them , and to disinherit them , that they may build their own childrens fortune upon the others ruin ; for which end , they make it their business to alienate the affection of their natural parent ; they invent a great many wicked and malicious stories , which , with great boldness and impudence , they fasten upon them ; and they never give over working and undermining , till they have brought about their cruel and cursed devices . but surely he that sits in heaven , and beholds all their contrivances , even he who is the god of recompences , will in due time bring to light their hidden works of darkness , and will vindicate the cause of those poor children , and render to their cruel persecutors according to their works ; he will fooner or later cause them to feel the heavy load of his just and terrible indignation . the duties of guardians . guardians are either chosen by parents before their death , or by children themselves after their parents decease , or by the magistrate . which way soever they are chosen , their duty is , to do what they can for the benefit and advantage of their pupils , both in spiritual and temporal things . as to their souls , they must take care of their good education , according to their age and capacity . if they are not as yet taught to read , they ought to make choice of a skilful and prudent schoolmaster or tutor for them , of whose fitness for such a charge they are well assured . but they must not so intrust them to the care of such persons , as never to mind them more themselves : they ought to enquire after them now and then , and either by themselves or others more fit for it , make tryal of their proficiency , that so they may be able to judge and resolve what is further to be done for them . as for the way of training them up in true piety , the directions given to parents are to be observed and practised . as to their bodies , the former directions likewise to parents , concerning childrens diet and apparel , ought to be followed . as to their outward estate , when they are fit for a trade , or some sort of business , they ought to take care to settle them in good company , so far as is possible , and in such a way of living as is most agreeable to their genius and inclination , and which their friends and relations reckon most sutable and convenient for them . it will afford great peace and satisfaction to guardians , whatever be the event , if in this matter they have a due regard to childrens own inclination , and to the opinion of their friends and relations . as to their marriage , when it is time to dispose of them that way , they onght to do nothing by force and violence : they must not constrain them to marry , unless they have a mind themselves : and tho' they are not bound absolutely to approve of those whom their pupils fancy , without any regard to their fitness , yet they are obliged by the law of justice and equity , not to impose upon them such matches as they cannot like . as to their patrimony and inheritance , they ought to improve it , as much as may be , for the childrens good , and to employ it wholly for their use , except so far as the law does allow them their necessary charges , in which they ought to govern themselves , by that golden-rule , mat. 7. 12. all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you , do ye even so to them . some motives to excite guardians to do these things . the first thing , which should stir up guardians to perform their duty towards their pupils , is , a sense of justice . when they are chosen for this end , if they have no mind to undertake such a charge , or if they cannot attend it , they ought to declare so much , and peremptorily to refuse it , that so care may be taken to get some other body who will undertake it . but when once they have undertaken it , they ought to make conscience of it , and to do all that is in their power for the childrens welfare and happiness in every thing . 't is both their duty and interest to fulfill their ingagement , and to act that part which they have undertaken ; which if they perform wisely and faithfully , then they may expect the praise , love , and esteem , of not only the children themselves , and of their relations , but likewise of all good and worthy persons , who see or hear of their fidelity and carefulness for the benefit of their pupils . if care is not taken in this manner , to fulfill what is undertaken to be done , and if there is no respect had to covenants , trusts and ingagements , then the very foundation of the happiness of society is subverted . if there is no regard to truth and justice , what a miserable thing must it be to live in society ? to be united by any civil ●yes to those , whose promises and ingagements are worse than none at all ? 2. does not a sense of honour oblige guardians to be careful of their pupils , and true and faithful to them ? 't was the opinion of their kindness and faithfulness , and of their fitness and worthiness for such a charge , which made them be chosen before others . and therefore , if they have any thing in them of true worth , if they have any sense of honour , they must needs strive to answer the expectation of those who have testified so great a value and esteem for them . 3 dly , does not charity oblige guardians to do these things ? orphans have always been reckoned amongst the greatest objects of charity , especially when they are very young , and are not able , either in respect of body or mind , to do any thing for themselves . so great is god's compassion and tenderness towards such children , that he has been graciously pleased to declare himself to be , the father of the fatherless . 't is therefore the duty of all , who are followers of god as dear children , especially of those who are chosen to perform so charitable an office as this , i say it is their duty , to omit nothing that is needful to be done , for the benefit of fatherless children , both in their spiritual and temporal concerns . we see a very worthy president and example in mordecai , esth. 2. esther's father and mother being dead , mordecai took her , and she was to him as his own daughter . how careful was he both of her soul and body ? how well did he instruct her ? as may be easily gathered from her wise and pious carriage and behaviour . and when she was taken from him , we find he was still mindful of her , for , v. 11. 't is said , mordecai walked every day before the court of the womens house , to know how esther did , and what should become of her . we find him likewise , from time to time , giving her his best advice , how to carry her self , and how to glorifie god , in that honourable state , to which it had pleased him to raise her . how worthy is such an excellent pattern as this , of the imitation of all those who are called to be the guardians , the guides , and defenders of fatherless children ? and for their encouragement , let them consider how richly god did reward the charity and piety of mordecai , not only in raising him up to great honour by esthers means , but also by making her the instrument of preserving his life , and the lives of all the jews , who were in the provinces belonging to ahasuerus . from what hath been said , it appears how great reason there is , for guardians to be true and faithful to the interests of their pupils , and to do all that ever they can for their spiritual and temporal advantage . now , if it be their duty to do so , what shall be said of those , who are not only careless of seeking their good , but do likewise , too successfully , seek their hurt and ruine ? as to their souls , they corrupt and poyson them by their wicked example , and by atheistical principles which they instill into them ; they breed them up in all manner of licentiousness . as to their bodies , they either too far gratifie their vanity and folly ; or they are too niggardly towards them , in withholding from them not only conveniencies but necessaries . as to their outward estate , they either suffer them ▪ to live idly ; or they put them forth to some trade or other , very unfit and unsutable to them . and when they are fit for marriage , they force them to marry as they think good , according as they see it will best serve their own private and worldly , base , and vile interests , without ever regarding the happiness of their pupils . as for their patrimony and inheritance , they are so far from improving it , that they impair it wofully , and sometimes quite consume and waste it ; they study a great many arts and wiles to ruine the poor children , whom they have got into their merciless hands ; instead of proving their guardians , they prove their robbers ; instead of being as parents to them , they prove betrayers of them , and their most dangerous and cruel enemies . but shall they escape who do such things ? no : they shall not . he who is the helper of the fatherless , will plead their cause , and will avenge them of those treacherous and perfidious persons : for , he beholdeth mischief to requite it , ps. 10. 14. i shall conclude this advice with what is written , ex. 22. 22. &c. ye shall not afflict any fatherless child . if thou afflict them in any wise , and they cry at all unto me , i will surely hear their cry . and my wrath shall wax hot , and i will kill you with the sword : and your wives shall be widows , and your children fatherless . and , prov. 23. 10 , 11. enter not into the fields of the fatherless ; for their redeemer is mighty ; he shall plead their cause with thee . prayers for families . a morning prayer for parents , or masters of families , with their family . o most gracious and merciful lord god , who affords us , thy unworthy servants , the honour and liberty of drawing near unto thee , assist us by thy good spirit to worship thee with sincere devotion , to lift up holy hands without wrath and doubting . we acknowledge , o lord , we deserve not to appear in thy sight , for we are not only vile and sinful by nature , being the corrupt posterity of sinful parents ; but likewise we are guilty of a great many actual transgressions , in our thoughts , words , and deeds , whereby we have provoked thee to wrath against us . we have not only sinned through ignorance , but have sinned also against knowledge ; we have acted contrary to that light , which thou hast made to shine upon us . we have been very inconstant in good purposes and resolutions : we have often confessed our sins , and yet soon after returned to them . o lord have mercy upon us , and forgive us all our sins , for jesus christ's sake . thou who knowest the deceitfulness and desperate wickedness of our hearts , make us what thou requirest us to be ; put thy spirit within us , and cause us to walk in thy statutes , and to keep thy judgments , and do them . give us unfeigned repentance for all our past offences : work in us strong resolutions to observe thy laws for the time to come : make us watchful and circumspect in all our words and actions ; lord watch thou over us for good , and never leave us nor forsake us . make us sensible of thy power and faithfulness , that we may put our trust and confidence in thee : acquaint us more and more with our own hearts and lives , that the sense of our weakness and folly , of our manifold and great sins , may make us very humble , and careful to avoid those temptations which do so often and easily prevail over us . fortifie us with great measures of meekness and patience , that we may bear and endure all those uneasie things , which thou seest fit to exercise us with : possess us with a lively sense of thy wise and just providence , that in all things which befall us , we may say , good is the word of the lord. save us from the immoderate love of all earthly things , from all vain hopes and groundless fears . make us content and thankful in every condition of life ; faithful and just in all our dealings ; careful to do to others what we would have them do to us : and as much as in us lieth , to live peaceably with all men. set a watch before our lips , that we offend not with our tongues ; save us from lying and slandering , from foolish talking and sinful jesting , and from all manner of corrupt communication : and grant that our words , being seasoned with salt , may minister grace to the hearers . keep us mindful of thy all-seeing eye , that we may be in thy fear all the day long , that whether we eat or drink , or whatever else we do , we may do all to thy glory . lord be merciful to the many nations which sit in darkness , send the light of the gospel unto them . grant that all they upon whom this glorious light does shine , may walk as children of the light and of the day , that they may put off the works of darkness , and put on the armour of light. bless all rulers and governours , make them wise and good , just and merciful : let it be their chiefest care to encourage piety , and to restrain whatever is dishonourable to thee , the king of kings and lord of lords . have mercy on these sinful lands : bless and preserve our king and queen , and all the royal family . direct our judges and magistrates : sanctifie and assist all thy ministers . be gracious to all our friends every where ; and forgive those who wrong us by word or deed . let thy blessing be on this family . bless our children ; make them thy children ; put thy fear within them ; grant that as they grow in years they may grow in grace ; shed abroad thy love in their hearts , that they may never depart from thee ; save them from every evil thing . be favourable , o lord , to all others , for whom we are bound to pray on any account whatsoever ; bless them and us in our souls and bodies , and in all our affairs and concerns . we give thee our hearty thanks for preserving us , and watching over us and our habitation the last night , for affording us quiet repose , and for raising us up in health and safety this morning : be with us this day : assist and direct us in all our ways : give thy angels charge concerning us . lord make us ready to leave this vain world. let the sense of our frailty stir us up to redeem our time , and to give all dilligence to make our calling and election sure . grant that this day we may do somewhat worthy of christians , for thy glory , the advantage of others , and our own everlasting happiness and comfort . let it be our constant study and endeavour to follow the example of our blessed saviour , who went about doing good : in whose most blessed name and words we conclude our prayers . our father , &c. an evening prayer for parents , or masters of families , with their family . o lord our god , what shall we render unto thee for the many and great favours , which thou hast been pleased , from time to time , to bestow upon us . we bless thee for giving us a being ; for making us reasonable creatures , capable to know and love thee , and to live for ever with thee ; for preserving us in the world ; and for affording us all things needful for our support and comfort . but above all we bless thee , for thy love in christ jesus , whom thou hast sent into the world to visit us , to make his abode among us , to dye for us , that he might wash us from our sins in his blood. lord what is man that thou art mindful of him , or the son of man that thou doest , in this gracious manner , visit him ! tho' thou hast bestowed innumerable mercies upon us , and hast visited us with this great salvation , yet we have been very unthankful and undutiful to thee : we have abused thy goodness , and turned thy grace into wantonness : we have set at naught thy counsels and , despised thy reproofs ; we have trampled under foot the blood of our saviour ; we have quenched the motions of thy good spirit ; we have refused to obey thy commands , and to follow thy kind and gracious invitations ; we have not regarded thy promises , nor been afraid of thy threatnings ; we have been too often led by the sinful examples and manners of the world ; we have , in many things , gratified our lusts and rassions , we have drawn near to thee with our mouth , and honoured thee with our lips , when our hearts have been far from thee ; we have promised our selves peace and safety , in the broad way that leads to destruction . o lord , we have destroyed our selves ; but in thee is our help ; our only hopes are in thy infinite mercy , who hast hitherto spared us , notwithstanding our manifold and crying provocations . most gracious god , have mercy upon us : for jesus christ's sake pardon us all our sinful thoughts , words , and deeds ▪ renew and sanctifie us by thy holy spirit , that henceforth we may live thy faithful servants , and may be always ready to do , or to endure whatever is thy holy will and pleasure . thou knowest our weakness and inconstancy ; let thy grace continually prevent and follow us , that we may abhor that which is evil , and cleave to that which is good : make us faithful unto death , that at last we may obtain the crown of life . lord be gracious to all mankind ; pity those who are in a state of ignorance and barbarity , and send the glad tidings of salvation to them . grant that they who have this blessed light of the gospel , may walk honestly as in the day , that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee our heavenly father . lord cleanse thy church from the many and great sins which abound in her : let every one that nameth the name of christ depart from iniquity . have mercy on these sinful lands : give repentance to all sorts of persons amongst us , that all of us may search and try our ways , and turn again to thee . lord turn us that we may be turned ; and draw us , that we may run after thee , and follow thee fully . be gracious to our king and queen ; direct and prosper them in all their good designs ; make them the happy instruments of promoting religion amongst us . bless the rest of the royal family . guide ou● judges and magistrates ; grant that they may execute justice without respect of persons . sanctifie and assist all thy ministers ; make them diligent and faithful ; grant that their endeavours for the good of souls , may be attended with great success . raise up many faithful pastors to feed thy flock with wisdom and vnderstanding . shew thy pity upon all who are any ways afflicted or distressed in mind , body , or estate ; sanctifie their afflictions unto them , give them patience under them , and a happy issue out of them . let thy blessing be upon this family ; let no harm come near our dwelling this night , or at any time . lord bless our children , take them into thy gracious protection ; give them a heart to fear and love thee ; cause them to remember thee their creator in the days of their youth ; possess them with a deep sense of thy infinite power , wisdom , faithfulness , and love ; that they may walk before thee in holiness and righteousness all their days : be thou their god and guide , and portion for ever . bless all others , for whom we are obliged to pray to thee ; bless them and us in our souls and bodies , and in all our interests and concerns . blessed be thy name for bringing us safely through the past day , for preserving us from a great many dangers , and for bestowing upon us innumerable mercies : preserve in us an affectionate and grateful remembrance of all thy undeserved kindness to us . lord watch over us this night ; refresh us with comfortable rest and sleep ; defend us from all the powers of darkness ; save us from all vain and sinful thoughts , from all sad accidents , and from every evil thing . when thou seest fit to remove us out of this vain world , translate us into that blessed and happy state , which thou hast prepared for thy ransomed ones . and if thou art pleased to prolong our time , grant that we may spend it to good purpose , in such designs , words , and actions , as may tend to thy honour and glory , through jesus christ our lord. in whose blessed name and words , we continue to pray as he hath taught us , saying , our father , &c. a short prayer for the morning or evening , when through extraordinary occasions there is not time for the other . o lord our god , look down with an eye of pity upon us thy unworthy servants this * morning . pardon us the many sins whereof we are guilty before thee , in our thoughts , words , and deeds . have mercy upon us , and be reconciled to us , through jesus christ thy dear son. sanctifie and assist us by thy holy spirit , that for the time to come we may do thy will , and seek thy glory . we bless thy name for all thy mercies , especially for thy wonderful love in christ jesus , whom thou hast sent into the world to die for us , to purchase for us an everlasting kingdom . give us grace firmly to believe in him , heartily to love him , and constantly to obey him . grant that it may be our sincere endeavour to follow his blessed example , in all lowliness and self-denyal , in meekness and patience , in charity and compassion , in sincerity and vprightness , in temperance and soberness , in thankfulness and contentedness , in purity and holiness , in watchfulness and circumspectness , and in fervent and prudent zeal for thy honour and glory . o lord , we bless thee , for bringing us safely through the last night * ; watch over us this day † ; keep us mindful of thy all-seeing eye , that we may avoid every thing that is displeasing to thee . be gracious to all mankind : have mercy on these lands : bless and guide our rulers , and all thy ministers . be near to all who are in trouble , and sanctifie their afflictions to them . be with our friends and relations every where : bless them and us with all things needful for our souls and bodies . make us sensible of our frailty and mortality ; give us grace so to number our days , that we may apply our hearts to wisdom . when this vain and short life is at an end , make us partakers of everlasting life and happiness , through jesus christ our lord , who hath taught us when we pray to say , our father , &c. some forms of prayer which parents may teach their children according to their age. a morning prayer to be taught children , when they begin to speak . o lord , i praise thee for all thy mercies , and for thy care of me this night . watch over me this day . forgive me all my sins , and make me thy child for jesus christ's sake . this prayer may be used likewise at night , only changing that petition [ watch over me this day ] into [ watch over me this night . ] when children come to be four or five years old , the following prayer may be used . o lord my god , what shall i render unto thee for all thy mercies ! i bless thee for giving me life , and all things needful to keep me alive . but above all , i bless thee for sending christ to dye for me , that he might wash me with his blood , and make me fit for the kingdom of heaven . for his sake have mercy upon me , and forgive me all my sinful thoughts , words , and deeds . give me grace to serve thee as i ought to do ; that i may not do , nor say a naughty thing , lest thou be angry with me , and cast me into hell fire . lord bless and preserve my father and mother * and all my friends and relations . i praise thee , o god , for preserving me this night , watch over me this day ; save me from every evil thing . good lord hear me , and grant me whatever thou knowest to be best for me , for jesus christ's sake , in whose holy name and words , i pray , our father , &c. this prayer may be likewise used at night , by changing only two words , and saying , instead of [ preserving me this night ] [ preserving me this day ; ] and instead of [ watch over me this day ] [ watch over me this night . ] a morning prayer for children , when they come to twelve or fourteen years of age ; sooner or later , according to the ripeness of their understanding . lord teach and assist me by thy holy spirit , to worship thee as i ought to do ; lift up my heart unto thee . what shall i render unto thee , o most gracious god , and most merciful father , for all thy mercies to me , and to all the world ? i bless thee for making me a reasonable creature , and for affording me all things which be needful to support my life ; i bless thee for my health , liberty , and safety ; for my food and rayment ; for the use of my reason and vnderstanding , and of my senses ; for thy corrections and deliverances ; and for all the advantages i have had by good examples , and good instructions : but chiefly , i praise and bless thee for the redemption of mankind by the lord jesus christ : that i was born within thy church , where i was early given to thee in baptism ; that i have had the benefit of christian education ; that thou hast afforded me the means of grace , and called me to the hope of glory . but notwithstanding thy goodness and love , i have gone astray from thee ; i have not cared so much as i ought to have done , to know thee , and to do thy will , but have done my own will in many things , and followed my own foolish and sinful inclinations : i have broken many of thy most holy and just laws , in thought , word , and deed * , whereby i have deserved thy wrath and curse . father of mercies have mercy upon me , and forgive me all my sins for jesus christ his sake , who dyed for sinners . give me a true and hearty repentance for all mine iniquities ; that i may not wilfully break thy laws any more . make me always mindful of my baptismal covenant , to forsake the devil and all his works , to believe in god , and to serve him . lord never leave me , nor forsake me . hold up my goings in thy paths , that my footsteps may not slide . grant that hencesorth i may love thee with all my heart , and may be afraid to sin against thee : work in me a true faith , and a lively hope ; make me humble , meek , and patient , sober and temperate in all things , charitable and compassionate towards all that are in distress , true and faithful in my words , and sincere and upright in my actions , well content and thankful in every condition of life , and zealous for thy glory . grant that i may daily grow in grace and spiritual knowledge . create in me a clean heart , and renew a right spirit within me , and cause me to walk in thy ways . o lord send thy gospel through the world : pour out plentifully the blessings of thy holy spirit on all thy people : bless and preserve our king and queen . guide our judges and magistrates : sanctifie and assist the ministers of the gospel . be with all my friends and relations ; particularly bless and preserve my father and mother : reward them for their care and kindness towards me : make me a loving and dutiful child unto them . * comfort all that are in trouble , and sanctifie their afflictions to them . i thank thee , o lord , for thy care of me this night . watch over me this day . bless and direct me in all i do or say . keep me mindful that i am always in thy sight , that i may be in thy fear all the day long . cause me to remember that i mus● shortly dye and come to judgment ; th●● i may not mispend my precious time , but employ it in a constant ●●d chearful obedience to thy holy and righteous laws ; that when this vain and short life is at an end , i may be made partaker of everlasting li●● , through jesus christ our lord ; in wh●● holy name and words i pray , our father , &c. this prayer may serve likewise at night , until you come to the last part , which begins with these words , [ i thank thee , o lord , for thy care of me this night , &c. ] instead thereof , you may say as follows , [ i thank thee , o lord , for thy care of me this day ; watch over me this night , and grant me quiet repose ; save me from every evil thing , for the sake of thy dear son jesus christ , in whose holy name and words , i conclude my imperfect prayers , saying , our father , &c. ] a grace before meat . we bless thee , o lord , for making this provision for us , who are less than the least of thy mercies . grant that by a moderate use of these thy good creatures , we may be made more fit for thy service , through jesus christ our lord. amen . after meat . blessed be thy name , most gracious god , for all thy mercies freely bestowed upon us ; and for refreshing our bodies at this time with thy good creatures . cause us to hunger and thirst after righteousness : feed our souls with the bread of life : let it be our meat and drink to do thy will. provide for all in want , through jesus christ our lord. amen . finis . notes, typically marginal, from the original text notes for div a47513-e280 * chrysost. notes for div a47513-e690 plat. l. 2. de republ. aristot l. 6. politic. c. 1. hierom ep. 7. ad laetam . notes for div a47513-e2930 how parents ought to be affected while children are yet in the womb. how they ought to be affected when their children are born . the right of children to baptism . children are to be acquainted with scripture histories . † plutar● in lycurgo . what is to be done if they are sturdy and proud . if they be given to lying . if they are cunning and deceitful . if they are peevish and passionate . if they are revengeful and malicious . if they are jealous and suspitious . if they are too credulous . if they are envious . if they are very impatient . if they love their belly too well . * xenophon ●●lls us , that the dyet of the persian boys , till they were 16 or 17 years old , was bread and cresses ; their drink was water . paediae cyr. lib. 1. if they discover any tendency to vnchast and immodest actions . * nil dictu● f●dum visuq●e , haec limina ●angat , intra quae 〈◊〉 est . proc●● hinc proc●l inde 〈◊〉 l●●●num , & cantus per●●●●● parasit● . maxima debet●r p●ro reverentia , &c. juven . sat. 14. if they curse 〈…〉 . * pythagoras forbad his followers to swear by the gods , and required them 〈◊〉 to live , that they might be believed without an oath . diog. laert . in pythag. clinias , one of his followers , chose rather to pay a fine of 3 talents , than to violate the precept of his master , tho' he could have made oath very innocently . if they are very changeable and vaconstant . if they are surly and morose . * this way of instructing children by fables , was very much used in ancient times by the wisest nations ; see plato dialog . 2. de repub. & strabo , lib. 15. geograph . if they are disrespectful to aged persons . * plutarc . laco●● . apop●● . * plutarc . laco●● . ap●p●● . if they quarrel much with one another . * de fraterno amore. if they are over curious to know their lot and fortune in the world . a that is , who foretelleth what is to come , and discovereth what it secret , by unlawful arts. b that is , who judgeth one day lucky , and another dismal and unlucky , and therefore begins or forbears his designs accordingly . c one that being in covenant with evil spirits , calls upon them by certain words and rites , to get their assistance in some vain or bad design or other . d one that calleth upon the dead , and enquireth of them , as the witch of endor did . 1 sam. 28. 8 , 9. &c. if they are unthankful to those who do them good and kind offices . * dixeris maledicta cuncta cum ingratum hominem dixeris . see xenoph . paed. cyr. l. 1. * see plin. hist. l. 8. c. 16. & sen. de benef . l. 3. c. 19. aul. gel. l. 5. c. 14. if they are of too pr●digal a temper . if they are covetous . * inde fere scelerum causae . juven . sat. 14. if they are naturally melancholy . if they are of too gay and airy a temper . if they are rash and forward . about chusing a fit person to teach them to read . about keeping them at school . great care ought to be taken what books they read . what they should do before they go to church . how they should carry themselves at church . what they should do when they come from church . why the lord's day ought to be kept . * ambr. de pentec . ser. 61. children are to be possessed with a great regard for the ministers of the gospel . * they who joyn with us in the publick worship , ought to think of their obligation to this duty , when they hear these words of the litany , ●o god we have heard with our ears , and our fathers have declared unto us the noble works that thou didst in their days , and in the old time before them . see ps. 44. 1. 1. they must give their children good example . 2. they must chuse good company for them . * etiam sine magistro vitia discuntur . sen. the great danger that children are in from flatterers . * quintilian de causis corruptae eloquentiae . advice to parents who send their children abroad to travel . 3. they must , as need requires , reprove and chasten their children : and how ? parents ought in correcting their children , to follow the example of our heavenly father . parents must be careful not to oppose one another , when they c●rrect and reprove their children . 4. they must carefully improve the time of their childrens sickness , or of any other afflictions they meet with , towards the making of them wiser and better . 5. they must daily pray to god for them . against those who curse their children . † the blessing of the father establisheth the houses of children , but the curse of the mother rooteth out foundations . ecelus . 3. 9. * see augustin . de civ . dei , l. 22. c. ●8 . & plato de legg . l. 34. dial . 11. 1. motive , from the divine command . 2. motive , from its being a work worthy of the utmost care and pains of parents . 3. motive , from the rewards which attend those , who faithfully do these things . 4. motive , from the great benefit which comes both to church and state by the good education of children . * see plutarch in lycurgo . heraclid . de politiis . xenophon paed . cyr. lib. 1. 5. mo●ive , from the s●d effects which attend the neglect of these duties . * augustin . to. 10. ser. 33. 〈◊〉 fratres in eremo . notes for div a47513-e9690 1. duty , it belongs to the mother to give suck to her children . * aulus gellius . lib. 12. cap. 1. see likewise plutarch de educ . 2. duty , about childrens diet. 3. duty , about childrens apparel . 1. duty , to chuse a fit trade for them . * see plut. in solone . ●dvice to those who have great estates and riches , to bestow on their children . * 't was excellently said by agefilans king of ●acedemon , we must teach children what they should do when they are men. * plutarch . de educat . * antigonus used this as an argument to induce zeno the philosopher to come to him . you may , said he , be well assured , that , by teaching and instructing me , you will at the same time instruct all the macedonians : for he who contributes towards the making the king of macedon a virtuous person does in great measu●● disp se all his subjects for virtuous impressions : for such as rulers and princes be , such likewise ordinarily are they who depend upon the●● diog. laert. in zenone . advice to those , who intend to set apart one or more of their children for the holy ministry . 2. duty , about disposing of them in marriage . * callias the athenian , was highly commended by the greeks , because he gave his daughters leave to chuse what husbands themselves liked best . herodot . in erato . * plut. in themistocle . * the sad effects of marrying very leud and profligate persons . 3. duty , about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the world. great prudence and caution ought to be used in bestowing their worldly goods on their children . 4. duty to have their will and testament in readiness . the great inconvenience of delay in this matter . great care to be taken in the choice of guardians for children . * 't was an athenian law , that they should not be chose● guardians , who have a right to the childrens estate , after their decease . diog. laert. in solo●e . 1. they ought to consider that it is the lord who does it . 2. they ought to consider that their children were born mortal . 3. they should consider from whence , and whither they are gone . 4. they should consider that there will be a resurrection . 5. they should consider that their giving way to excessive grief and mourning , can do no good , but will certainly do a great deal of hurt . the duty of parents on their death-bed . 1. duty , to give their children good advice . 2. duty , to pray to god for them . 3. duty , to commend them to some faithful friends . concerning the duties of step-fathers and step-mothers , or fathers and mothers in law : some motives to stir them up to do their duty . the duties of guardians . some motives to excite guardians to do their duty . prayers for the morning and evening , to be used in families . * or evening . * or , the past day . † o● ▪ , this night . * if there be brothers and sisters let them pray for them likewise . * here they may make a particular confession of their sins . * if there be any brothers or sisters , he may pray for them , and for grandfather and grandmother , if they be alive .