item: #1 of 21 id: 1213 author: Twain, Mark title: The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg date: None words: 18367 flesch: 84 summary: Said he: Sho, _that's_ not the point! It's already gone, sir. _Gone_? keywords: burgess; chair; edward; goodson; hadleyburg; house; man; mary; money; night; remark; richards; sack; stranger; thing; town cache: 1213.txt plain text: 1213.txt item: #2 of 21 id: 13709 author: Lewis, Alfred Henry title: Wolfville Nights date: None words: 86086 flesch: 83 summary: An' I'm driven to concede that the put-back work of said party is like a romance; puttin' back's his speshulty. He can argue that the cattle kills themse'fs--sort o' commits sooicide inadvertent--an' if we-all trades up on him with the beef, he insists on his innocence, an' puts it up that his cuttin' in on the play after said cattle done slays themse'fs injures nobody but coyotes. keywords: aaron; ag'in; away; bar; bein; bill; black; boggs; bowlaigs; camp; cattle; cherokee; cloud; colonel; coyote; dan; dave; day; days; doc; dog; drink; easy; enright; evenin; eyes; folks; foot; game; gent; gets; goin'; good; gun; half; hand; head; heap; high; himse'f; hoss; injuns; jack; jennie; jerry; jest; lance; light; little; looks; loose; major; makes; man; mebby; mighty; moment; myse'f; nell; nothin'; onder; party; peets; phil; play; plenty; plumb; raven; red; round; sech; sharp; shore; silver; sort; squaw; stands; texas; thar; time; tom; trail; tucson; turns; war; way; white; wolfville; yere cache: 13709.txt plain text: 13709.txt item: #3 of 21 id: 13784 author: Dunne, Finley Peter title: Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen date: None words: 50258 flesch: 92 summary: Th' prayers f'r th' occasion, printed on negotyable paper, is disthributed among th' guests. Th' pathrites wint up again a band iv Kansas sojers, that was wanst heroes befure they larned th' hay-foot-sthraw-foot, an' is now arnin' th' wages iv a good harvest hand all th' year ar-round, an' 'd rather fight than ate th' ar-rmy beef, an' ye know what happened. keywords: ads; afther th; anny; befure; bein; big; cap; come; coort; counthry; cud; d'ye; day; divvle; donahue; dooley; dure; f'r th; fr'm; fr'm th; frind; gin'ral; goin'; good; hand; head; hinnissy; hogan; home; house; iv th; iv thim; ivry; jawn; long; man; mckenna; men; mike; mind; nawthin; night; niver; ol'; on'y; people; polis; prisident; road; run; sthreet; thim; thin; time; tin; tis; tis th; twas; twinty; wan; wan iv; wanst; way; whin th; wint; wurruld; ye'er; ye're cache: 13784.txt plain text: 13784.txt item: #4 of 21 id: 14684 author: Dunne, Finley Peter title: Mr. Dooley Says date: None words: 44368 flesch: 88 summary: Lave it on th' flure f'r th' boy that sweeps up, oh, son iv a tailor,' he says, an' he gives a nod an' fr'm behind a curtain comes Jawn Johnson with little on him, an' th' next thing ye hear iv th' faithless minister is a squeak an' a splash. Th' historyan says, go up; th' bi-ographer says, come down among us. keywords: afther; anny; annything; befure; bein; counthry; cud; day; days; dhrink; dooley; f'r th; f'r ye; fellow; fine; fr'm; fr'm th; frind; goin'; good; hand; head; hennessy; hinnissy; hogan; home; house; iv th; iv thim; iv ye'er; ivry; kind; ladies; life; long; look; man; men; money; nawthin; new; niver; on'y; people; read; right; says; shud; sir; thim; thin; time; tis; wan; wan iv; war; way; whin th; wife; wint; wud; wudden't; wurruk; wurruld; ye'er; ye'll; years cache: 14684.txt plain text: 14684.txt item: #5 of 21 id: 1805 author: Henry, O. title: The Gentle Grafter date: None words: 45549 flesch: 86 summary: Said he was thinking of buying some stock. [Illustration: 'Think of 'em sending a letter like that to ME!'] 'Lot's of good men get 'em,' says Andy. keywords: andy; atterbury; away; bassett; bill; blue; buck; business; caligula; city; colonel; come; company; day; dollars; door; farmer; fine; gold; good; graft; half; hand; hotel; house; illustration; jeff; kind; line; look; man; mayor; men; mind; money; morning; mrs; murkison; new; office; peters; pocket; president; right; room; rufe; scheme; sir; stock; street; table; thing; time; town; train; tucker; way; work; world; years; york cache: 1805.txt plain text: 1805.txt item: #6 of 21 id: 19484 author: Twain, Mark title: Editorial Wild Oats date: None words: 10021 flesch: 76 summary: We refer to Mr. J. Cæsar, the Emperor-elect. And amid it all, great Cæsar stood with his back against the statue, like a lion at bay, and fought his assailants weaponless and hand to hand, with the defiant bearing and the unwavering courage which he had shown before on many a bloody field. keywords: chief; cæsar; day; editor; friend; good; head; item; left; man; nicodemus; paper; time; way; window cache: 19484.txt plain text: 19484.txt item: #7 of 21 id: 22537 author: Dunne, Finley Peter title: Mr. Dooley in Peace and in War date: None words: 46567 flesch: 91 summary: Th' ol' la-ad met us at th' dure. Th' cinter rush iv th' Saint Aloysiuses took a runnin' jump at th' left lung iv wan iv th' Christyan Brothers, an' wint to th' grass with him. keywords: afther; anny; bein; come; counthry; cud; day; dooley; f'r th; face; father; fr'm; fr'm th; frind; george; gin'ral; goin'; good; hand; head; hear; hennessy; hinnissy; hogan; home; house; iv th; iv thim; iv ye'er; ivry; know; lave; life; little; look; mack; man; men; mike; miles; money; nawthin; new; night; niver; ol'; on'y; people; run; sthreet; they'se; thim; thin; time; tis; twas; wan; wan iv; wanst; war; way; whin th; wint; woman; ye'er; ye're; year cache: 22537.txt plain text: 22537.txt item: #8 of 21 id: 26528 author: Ford, Sewell title: Odd Numbers Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabe date: None words: 74022 flesch: 90 summary: It bound me to find board and lodging and provide clothes and incidentals for Hermy for the period of one year; and in consideration of which, and all that, I am to be the manager and sole business representative of said Hermy for the term of fifteen years from date, entitled to a fair and equal division of whatsoever profits, salary, or emoluments which may be received by the party of the second part, payable to me, my heirs, or assigns forever. It's goin' some in the lid line, says I. I expect that's a mighty stylish article, though, says he. keywords: 'em; aunt; away; bein; bob; business; case; cornelia; couple; course; day; door; dyke; end; eyes; face; fact; folks; gent; gettin; girl; goin'; good; guess; hair; half; hand; harold; havin'; head; heiney; help; hermy; home; house; jarvis; kind; lady; life; little; look; lookin; lot; maizie; man; marmaduke; mccabe; mind; minute; miss; mrs; new; party; pinckney; place; pyramid; real; right; room; run; sadie; shorty; sir; snick; sort; spotty; story; talk; thing; thought; time; tutwater; vincent; wa'n't; way; week; work cache: 26528.txt plain text: 26528.txt item: #9 of 21 id: 29485 author: Lewis, Alfred Henry title: Faro Nell and Her Friends: Wolfville Stories date: None words: 69463 flesch: 84 summary: He's p'intin' in from over Red Dog way, but I savvys from the wonderin' faces of them Red Dog sports that he's as new to them as us. 'Said banquet,' he explains, 'bein' in the nacher of a lunch to be held at high noon. keywords: ag'in; annalinda; bark; bein; bird; black; bland; boggs; book; bug; calls; camp; cherokee; chief; day; dead; doc; dog; drink; enright; evenin; eyes; feelin; folks; game; gent; goin'; good; gun; half; hand; havin'; head; heap; himse'f; house; jack; jennie; jest; licker; light; looks; love; makes; man; mebby; mighty; mike; missis; monte; moore; nell; nothin'; old; ontil; party; peets; person; plenty; plumb; professor; red; returns; round; rucker; sech; shore; shot; stage; texas; thar; time; track; tucson; turkey; turner; tutt; way; whar; wife; wolfville; yere cache: 29485.txt plain text: 29485.txt item: #10 of 21 id: 31659 author: Ford, Sewell title: Side-stepping with Shorty date: None words: 80008 flesch: 92 summary: What did Hank have to say? Said he was a friend of yours, and if you didn't have nothin' better on the hook he'd like to see you around the Wisteria, says Swifty. Sure as ever, says I. Well, says he, I'm secretary to Mr. Fletcher Dawes. keywords: 'em; act; aunt; bein; bentley; big; bishop; business; come; comin; couple; course; day; doin'; door; eyes; face; ferdy; folks; gettin; girl; goin'; good; guess; half; hand; hank; havin'; head; help; home; house; inside; isabella; job; kind; know; lady; langdon; left; let; life; look; lookin; lot; love; man; mind; minute; miss; mrs; new; nothin'; open; pair; pinckney; place; purdy; right; room; run; rusty; sadie; shorty; sir; somethin'; starts; story; swifty; tell; thing; thought; time; tryin; way; white; wilbur; word; york cache: 31659.txt plain text: 31659.txt item: #11 of 21 id: 31884 author: Nye, Bill title: A Guest at the Ludlow, and Other Stories date: None words: 51149 flesch: 78 summary: He says it is quite a common thing for young women where he lives to marry young men for the purpose of saving them. Somehow, while here, I can not forget poor old man Dorrit, the Master of the Marshalsea, and how the Debtors' Prison preyed upon his mind till he didn't enjoy anything except to stand off and admire himself. keywords: boy; business; care; city; country; day; deal; feet; general; good; great; hair; half; hands; heart; home; house; illustration; kind; life; little; look; man; men; mind; money; new; night; nye; o'connor; office; order; page; paper; pay; people; place; president; property; red; riley; road; room; saw; street; summer; things; think; thought; time; town; train; water; way; week; wife; work; world; years cache: 31884.txt plain text: 31884.txt item: #12 of 21 id: 33432 author: Bangs, John Kendrick title: Mr. Munchausen  Being a True Account of Some of the Recent Adventures beyond the Styx of the Late Hieronymus Carl Friedrich, Sometime Baron Munchausen of Bodenwerder date: None words: 35126 flesch: 82 summary: In common with a large number of other great men in history Baron Munchausen has suffered because he is not understood. II THE SPORTING TOUR OF MR. MUNCHAUSEN Good morning, Mr. Munchausen, said the interviewer of the _Gehenna Gazette_ entering the apartment of the famous traveller at the Hotel Deville, where the late Baron had just arrived from his sporting tour in the Blue Hills of Cimmeria and elsewhere. keywords: ananias; angelica; baron; baron munchausen; beelzy; course; day; diavolo; fact; feet; good; house; jang; left; life; lion; man; miles; minutes; munchausen; people; right; sapphira; story; thing; thought; time; twins; uncle; water; way; wriggletto cache: 33432.txt plain text: 33432.txt item: #13 of 21 id: 35162 author: Lardner, Ring title: Gullible's Travels, Etc. date: None words: 45547 flesch: 96 summary: All the actors had been smuggled in from Europe and they wasn't none o' them that could talk English. You took the words out o' my mouth, says Bill. keywords: ast; bess; bessie; bishop; chance; come; day; dollars; evenin; garrett; gettin; goin'; good; hatch; home; look; man; messenger; missus; mrs; nothin'; people; play; right; room; round; set; somethin'; table; thought; time; w'ile; want; way; wife cache: 35162.txt plain text: 35162.txt item: #14 of 21 id: 37430 author: Connell, Richard Edward title: The Sin of Monsieur Pettipon, and other humorous tales date: None words: 67327 flesch: 87 summary: Mr. Pottle and Culture_ Out of the bathtub, rubicund and rotund, stepped Mr. Ambrose Pottle. Send for Matt Runkle, hissed Mr. Gulick, Junior. Send for Matt Runkle, echoed Mr. Pottle. keywords: addicks; ambrose; big; blossom; blue; bonticu; braddy; chester; chief; commissioner; cowdin; croly; day; deeley; dog; dollars; door; epps; eyes; face; gallup; good; gulick; hand; head; heart; home; horace; house; hydeman; job; life; little; look; lum; man; mealy; men; mildred; mind; monsieur; monsieur pantan; morning; mrs; new; night; old; pantan; pershing; peter; pettipon; place; pottle; president; room; second; steward; thing; thought; tidbury; time; voice; want; way; wife; words; work; years cache: 37430.txt plain text: 37430.txt item: #15 of 21 id: 5836 author: Twain, Mark title: Sketches New and Old, Part 1. date: None words: 19586 flesch: 75 summary: Une fois la femme du cure Walker fut tres malade pendant longtemps, il semblait qu'on ne la sauverait pas; mai un matin le cure arrive, et Smiley lui demande comment ella va et il dit qu'elle est bien mieux, grace a l'infinie misericorde tellement mieux qu'avec la benediction de la Providence elle s'en tirerait, et voila que, sans y penser, Smiley repond:--Eh bien! Whenever he read about a particularly good one he turned over quickly to the end to see what became of him, because he wanted to travel thousands of miles and gaze on him; but it wasn't any use; that good little boy always died in the last chapter, and there was a picture of the funeral, with all his relations and the Sunday-school children standing around the grave in pantaloons that were too short, and bonnets that were too large, and everybody crying into handkerchiefs that had as much as a yard and a half of stuff in them. keywords: air; bet; bien; books; boy; boys; daniel; day; dog; frog; grenouille; jim; lightning; lui; man; pas; qu'il; que; rods; school; smiley; stranger; sunday; thing; time; une; vous; watch; way cache: 5836.txt plain text: 5836.txt item: #16 of 21 id: 5837 author: Twain, Mark title: Sketches New and Old, Part 2. date: None words: 14270 flesch: 78 summary: Any man has a right to protect his own wife from the advances of other men. At other times they drowse, or dreamily pore over exchanges, or droop limp and pensive over the chair-arms for an hour. keywords: beef; bill; child; congress; contract; corn; day; fisher; floyd; good; government; indians; man; new; night; office; time; wife cache: 5837.txt plain text: 5837.txt item: #17 of 21 id: 5838 author: Twain, Mark title: Sketches New and Old, Part 3. date: None words: 14794 flesch: 70 summary: The official report concerning this thing closed thus: Wherefore it appears that there were in old times two distinct species of this majestic fowl, the one being single and the other double. Said he: Give thanks for this stupendous thing which we have been permitted to witness. keywords: bug; chance; chinaman; discovery; earth; expedition; find; francisco; game; good; man; place; professor; right; riley; san; science; thing; time; tumble; way; woodlouse cache: 5838.txt plain text: 5838.txt item: #18 of 21 id: 5839 author: Twain, Mark title: Sketches New and Old, Part 4. date: None words: 15524 flesch: 80 summary: Then I tell you there is a general heaving up of old graves and kicking over of old monuments, and scampering of old skeletons for the trees! She was of mighty frame and stature; she was sixty years old, but her eye was undimmed and her strength unabated. keywords: conrad; dat; daughter; day; den; dey; duke; father; good; head; heart; jist; look; man; new; night; things; time; way; years; young cache: 5839.txt plain text: 5839.txt item: #19 of 21 id: 5840 author: Twain, Mark title: Sketches New and Old, Part 5. date: None words: 12408 flesch: 77 summary: Yet I purposely mixed that up with other things, hoping to make it obscure--and I did. As men, the Twins have not always lived in perfect accord; but still there has always been a bond between them which made them unwilling to go away from each other and dwell apart. keywords: chang; day; door; eng; face; good; hand; heart; john; laughter; life; love; man; new; night; paper; place; thing; time; world cache: 5840.txt plain text: 5840.txt item: #20 of 21 id: 5841 author: Twain, Mark title: Sketches New and Old, Part 6. date: None words: 8653 flesch: 76 summary: Said he went more on room than style, anyway in a last final container. What they write has to be written over again by other clerks sometimes; but when a man has done his best for his country, should his country complain? keywords: aurelia; cabinet; committee; corpse; day; good; government; hair; man; secretary; time; way cache: 5841.txt plain text: 5841.txt item: #21 of 21 id: 5842 author: Twain, Mark title: Sketches New and Old, Part 7. date: None words: 14716 flesch: 74 summary: We refer to Mr. J. Caesar, the Emperor-elect. It is said that when the immense majority for Caesar at the polls in the market was declared the other day, and the crown was offered to that gentleman, even his amazing unselfishness in refusing it three times was not sufficient to save him from the whispered insults of such men as Casca, of the Tenth Ward, and other hirelings of the disappointed candidate, hailing mostly from the Eleventh and Thirteenth and other outside districts, who were overheard speaking ironically and contemptuously of Mr. Caesar's conduct upon that occasion. keywords: caesar; case; cold; comet; day; dollars; gentleman; good; half; house; life; man; men; new; night; people; thing; thought; time; twain; way cache: 5842.txt plain text: 5842.txt