CHRISTIAN
COUNSELL
,
applyed
to
the
Maried
Estate
.
1.
MAriage
is
an
estate
honourable
in
all
;
[a](A64571-e1280-b)
And
they
fall
below
the
nature
and
worth
of
men
,
(
and
much
more
of
Christians
)
who
quarrell
that
estate
which
God
hath
ordained
for
the
comfort
,
benefit
,
and
increase
of
mankind
.
2.
The
honour
of
the
maried
estate
is
preserved
,
while
the
bed
is
kept
without
being
defiled
either
by
falseness
or
filthiness
.
3.
But
the
duty
of
the
estate
is
as
difficult
as
the
dignity
is
great
,
and
a
businesse
it
is
of
far
greater
vertue
for
any
to
acquit
himself
in
the
maried
,
then
in
the
single
estate
.
4.
A
single
and
solitary
estate
is
the
touchstone
of
sincerity
,
and
they
are
surely
good
that
wisdom
,
patience
,
and
zeal
,
society
is
the
truest
triall
.
5.
Of
zeal
in
regard
of
competent
time
,
and
therein
,
to
come
before
God
with
a
clear
heart
in
the
multitude
and
number
of
worldly
businesses
,
will
undoubtedly
make
Christians
to
bestir
themselves
.
6.
And
of
patience
also
7.
It
s
true
that
divers
occasions
of
disturbance
and
distemper
,
may
by
providence
,
and
prudence
be
prevented
;
and
our
little
stock
of
patience
bespeaks
the
best
assistance
of
that
providence
;
but
to
avoid
&
discharge
our selves
of
all
,
is
no
more
in
our
power
,
then
to
command
the
course
of
providence
,
[b](A64571-e1560-b)
or
to
alter
the
nature
and
dispositions
of
people
.
8.
We
have
need
of
patience
therefore
,
that
what
we
are
not
able
to
prevent
we
may
be
willing
to
endure
.
9.
Nor
doth
patience
doubling
of
our
disturbance
.
10.
And
consider
here
(
to
make
patience
more
precious
)
that
perturbations
of
spirit
are
great
molesters
of
piety
,
and
interrupt
our
society
with
God
;
for
the
wrath
of
man
worketh
not
the
righteousnesse
of
God
,
[c](A64571-e1690-b)
that
is
,
a
wrathfull
person
,
(
especially
in
a
wrathfull
passion
)
is
very
unfit
to
do
the
will
of
God
,
either
in
works
of
Religion
,
that
require
a
quiet
and
peaceable
heart
;
[d](A64571-e1700-b)
or
in
works
of
Righteousnesse
,
that
require
an
equal
and
dispassionated
judgement
,
2
Chron.
16.
10.
11.
Wrathfull
distempers
with
men
:
Needs
must
others
less
comfortably
come
near
us
,
and
we
less
honourably
converse
with
them
,
if
we
shall
(
though
but
in
some
degrees
)
resemble
that
Nabal
who
was
so
froward
(
as
his
Servants
said
,
and
none
is
able
to
shake
off
what
Servants
say
truly
,
Job
31.
13.
)
that
a
man
could
not
tell
how
to
speak
to
him
,
1
Sam
25.
17.
12.
Adde
to
this
,
that
with
our selves
,
and
our
own
Consciences
is
hindred
while
we
give
way
to
those
passionate
words
and
carriages
wherewith
the
Conscience
,
upon
serious
and
sober
consideration
cannot
choose
but
be
much
grieved
,
1
Sam.
25.
31.
13.
Now
why
should
we
have
any
fellowship
with
that
which
darkens
and
disturbs
all
fellowship
both
with
God
,
and
Men
,
and
with
our
own
Consciences
?
14.
Not
that
all
comfort
to
God
that
are
very
unpleasant
and
troublesome
to
M●n
.
God
hath
some
knotty
timber
in
his
Carmel
;
All
that
serve
him
are
not
like
his
Servant
Moses
,
[a](A64571-e1910-b)
(
you
may
find
me●ker
men
on
Earth
,
(
haply
)
in
Hell
too
,
in
regard
of
natural
meeknesse
)
but
some
as
[b](A64571-e1920-b)
Jonah
.
And
yet
to
speak
the
truth
(
not
to
protect
Perverseness
,
but
to
support
those
that
groan
under
the
Burthen
of
it
)
the
harshest
Good-Christian
is
better
than
the
sweetest
either
Heathen
or
Hypocrite
;
and
the
worst
Childe
God
hath
is
better
than
the
best
the
Devil
hath
.
15.
But
though
sincerity
of
Heart
,
and
sowrnesse
of
Carriage
may
stand
together
,
yet
they
stand
as
two
Enemies
in
the
Field
,
and
many
sad
Fights
there
be
in
that
divided-heart
that
is
the
seat
of
that
War
,
the
reason
whereof
is
,
because
the
one
Enemy
,
I
mean
a
crooked
nature
,
is
so
unweariable
;
and
the
other
,
that
is
,
the
[c](A64571-e2010-b)
divine
nature
,
the
grace
of
God
,
the
Rose
among
the
Thornes
,
is
so
unconquerable
,
and
so
irreconcileable
.
16.
This
combate
,
hard
as
it
is
,
is
often
the
best
hold
that
a
Christian
hath
,
and
is
so
necessary
a
fruit
of
Sincerity
,
that
they
never
feared
God
truly
that
endured
their
inordinate
passions
patiently
.
Impatience
,
with
others
is
their
fault
,
to
bee
impatient
with
themselves
for
it
,
is
their
comfort
.
17.
Yet
trouble
with
our
Frowardness
is
the
more
uncomfortable
part
of
our
Comfort
;
To
God
all
things
are
possible
▪
and
,
howsoever
we
can
no
more
quite
put
off
our
Naughtiness
here
,
than
our
Natures
,
yet
by
prayer
18.
To
this
cure
,
it
conduceth
much
;
First
,
seriously
to
consider
Gods
providence
.
Secondly
,
to
call
to
mind
our
own
faults
.
And
Thirdly
,
to
commune
with
our
own
hearts
.
19.
That
divers
molestations
divine
providence
,
wherein
(
therefore
)
a
perverse
Impatience
amounts
to
this
,
the
▪
charging
of
God
foolishly
▪
[d](A64571-e2250-b)
That
which
is
crocked
cannot
be
made
streight
,
[c](A64571-e2280-b)
the
more
need
had
we
to
set
our selves
streight
,
for
if
they
be
crooked
and
we
too
,
though
God
can
make
their
Crookednesse
end
in
his
glory
,
yet
ours
will
end
in
our
own
smart
.
20.
Besides
that
,
they
that
can
bear
nothing
forget
why
they
were
born
,
for
,
Man
is
born
to
trouble
as
the
sparks
flie
upward
,
Job
5.
7.
21.
Withall
,
our
own
22.
As
the
considering
on
our
Beds
,
and
in
cool
blood
,
for
then
Reason
is
the
Iudge
;
then
God
is
the
Judge
,
and
it
is
for
Patience
that
he
passes
Sentence
;
He
is
not
in
these
windes
and
earthquakes
,
and
fires
,
but
in
a
soft
and
still
voice
,
1
King.
19.
11
,
12.
They
that
commune
with
their
own
hearts
most
,
are
like
to
chide
least
,
for
the
upshot
of
that
is
,
Be
still
,
Ps.
4.
4.
23.
To
these
may
be
may
not
last
;
Passion
is
but
the
turning
of
Reason
out
of
office
.
Now
as
the
Flatterer
takes
part
with
the
Beast
in
Man
,
and
the
sensual
part
,
so
doth
a
true
Friend
with
the
understanding
part
,
[*](A64571-e2710-b)
and
a
Christian
Friend
with
the
regenerate
part
.
Hence
,
(
by
his
help
)
Reason
and
Grace
is
restored
,
and
Passion
expelled
.
True
it
is
,
that
Patience
is
an
hard
task
in
a
cholerick
temper
;
the
more
need
had
such
of
greater
care
,
and
wiser
company
,
and
(
to
say
all
)
to
make
the
more
earnest
Prayers
,
and
as
faithfull
Hitherto
shalt
thou
go
,
and
no
further
,
and
here
shall
thy
proud
waves
be
stayed
?
Job
38.
11.
24.
But
as
Society
tries
25.
And
as
concerning
26.
Religious
exercises
are
as
necessary
as
it
is
to
depend
upon
God
for
the
prosperous
cariage
of
our
affairs
;
for
God
will
be
depended
upon
in
his
own
way
;
It
is
the
base
and
atheistical
opinion
that
people
have
of
having
to
do
with
God
(
as
if
it
were
but
so
much
labour
lost
)
that
makes
them
grudge
the
time
for
holy
Duties
,
and
make
as
if
a
day
of
humiliation
would
undo
them
.
Look
upon
prayer
as
a
familiar
communing
with
the
most
glorious
God
;
[a](A64571-e2910-b)
as
the
Supplyer
of
all
wants
;
[b](A64571-e2920-b)
as
a
Shelter
from
all
dangers
;
[c](A64571-e2930-b)
as
the
Setler
,
Sanctifier
,
and
Prosperer
of
all
Businesses
;
[d](A64571-e2940-b)
and
is
it
possible
to
neglect
it
?
Worthy
thoughts
of
better
things
will
shift
for
time
,
and
devise
wayes
whereby
to
enjoy
them
,
onely
Infidelity
abandons
Duty
.
27.
Let
it
be
the
shame
therefore
of
those
that
professe
themselves
Believers
,
to
think
that
Piety
is
against
Profit
,
and
that
there
is
no
gain
in
Godlynesse
;
yet
times
for
our
general
and
particular
Calling
should
be
discreetly
divided
;
religious
[e](A64571-e3000-b)
not
so
simple
and
insufficient
as
that
they
that
have
understanding
cannot
relish
them
;
[f](A64571-e3010-b)
not
so
long
as
that
the
weak
cannot
bear
them
;
[g](A64571-e3020-b)
nor
so
short
and
overly
as
to
nourish
Security
,
and
to
accommodate
Unghostly
men
in
their
aversnes
from
holy
Duties
by
the
sleightnesse
and
cursorinesse
of
them
.
28.
As
for
Christian
exhort
one
another
daily
;
[h](A64571-e3060-b)
and
the
character
and
mark
of
men
fearing
God
,
who
speak
often
one
to
another
,
Mal.
3.
16.
29.
Yet
difference
is
to
be
made
between
Persons
and
Persons
;
Some
be
Superiours
in
age
,
abilities
,
office
,
before
whom
it
becomes
Inferiours
rather
to
offer
things
to
consideration
,
than
to
affirm
;
Some
are
weaker
,
and
of
better
hearts
,
others
wiser
and
of
better
parts
;
good
and
ghostly
things
will
be
accepted
of
those
,
but
wiser
things
as
well
as
better
must
be
brought
to
these
,
for
though
they
approve
all
holy
things
,
yet
they
relish
higher
.
Again
.
Some
are
willing
and
able
to
speak
of
better
things
,
(
and
haply
not
able
to
speak
well
of
other
things
)
to
these
come
purposely
to
talk
of
God
and
Heaven
,
and
do
it
plentifully
;
but
give
not
Weaklings
more
of
Spiritual
conference
than
they
are
able
to
accept
;
rather
mix
(
as
Sawces
)
civil
,
moral
,
pleasant
,
(
but
some
way
profitable
)
speeches
;
yea
,
if
men
be
so
unghostly
and
Ungodly
,
that
religious
conference
will
not
be
admitted
,
joyn
with
them
in
civil
,
to
prevent
prophane
.
30.
And
distinguish
also
between
Times
and
Times
;
between
a
private
visit
,
(
wherein
Christians
shall
do
well
to
sit
together
on
Earth
as
Saints
in
Heaven
,
and
to
poure
forth
themselves
one
to
another
in
the
fulnesse
of
Spiritual
discourse
)
and
a
common
feast
,
wherein
though
they
ought
principally
to
intend
Gods
glory
,
[a](A64571-e3270-b)
yet
they
are
permitted
also
to
chear
up
themselves
with
such
things
and
words
as
are
suitable
for
〈◊〉
refreshing
of
the
out●ard
man
in
an
human
〈◊〉
:
[b](A64571-e3280-b)
Not
but
that
●…en
in
such
meetings
●…ere
should
be
a
greater
measure
.
31.
Such
cautions
being
observed
,
they
that
fear
God
do
like
themselves
in
speaking
often
one
to
another
.
[c](A64571-e3360-b)
But
often
is
not
all
;
Christians
must
be
good
and
wise
;
Goodnesse
speaks
much
,
and
Wisedom
speaks
well
;
and
very
well
it
should
be
,
because
when
they
that
fear
God
speak
often
,
God
still
stands
by
with
his
book
of
remembrance
;
[d](A64571-e3470-b)
and
how
wise
should
the
Speaker
be
when
God
himself
is
the
Noter
.
32.
That
Christians
may
admonish
one
another
,
the
word
of
God
must
dwell
in
them
;
[e](A64571-e3520-b)
It
s
the
great
fault
(
I
do
not
say
of
Christan
but
of
)
Christians
-
conference
,
that
they
speak
out
of
their
own
heads
,
without
their
books
or
their
guide
,
their
Bible
or
their
Pastor
,
and
of
those
things
most
whereof
the
Scripture
speaks
least
;
indeed
of
things
curious
and
disputable
,
rather
than
necessary
and
profitable
:
A
thing
the
more
to
be
both
marked
and
feared
,
because
the
spending
and
ingaging
of
mens
time
and
talk
,
and
wits
,
and
zeal
in
niceties
and
more
refined
Speculations
,
tends
—
1.
to
a
sleighting
and
a
kind
of
loathing
of
the
plaine
and
maine
things
of
Scripture
,
as
●oo
low
for
so
great
Proficients
to
look
upon
:
and
2.
to
a
separating
from
●he
Churches
of
God
,
as
●oo
corrupt
for
men
so
ghostly
to
abide
in
.
33.
To
prevent
this
the
better
,
as
the
word
of
God
must
dwell
in
us
,
so
it
must
dwell
in
us
richly
,
that
we
may
not
need
to
rove
other
where
to
make
our selves
rich
in
Religion
.
Now
because
men
may
talke
much
of
Scripture
,
and
yet
talke
but
little
Scripture
;
(
for
Scripture
is
not
it self
unless
taken
and
spoken
▪
in
its
right
sense
)
therefore
▪
the
word
of
God
must
not
only
dwell
in
us
richly
,
but
rightly
,
and
in
all
wisedom
,
[f](A64571-e3640-b)
that
is
,
with
a
right
and
judicious
interpretation
and
apprehension
,
that
so
we
may
the
better
,
when
we
meet
together
,
teach
and
admonish
one
another
.
34.
Withall
,
Christian
35.
He
that
builds
clear
the
soile
,
that
is
,
get
some
rights
and
interests
,
some
good
affections
and
estimations
among
them
to
whom
he
speaks
;
or
(
at
least
)
be
able
to
produce
a
good
calling
,
that
he
may
not
be
diverted
with
this
sad
and
sowre
demand
,
upon
what
acquaintance
or
title
do
you
make
so
bold
as
to
build
here
.
36.
Next
,
he
must
lay
a
good
foundation
;
and
not
reare
a
high
and
weighty
frame
(
such
as
Zeale
is
willing
to
make
)
upon
such
sand
and
soluble
matter
as
will
not
abide
a
Storm
.
Good
things
had
need
to
be
so
much
the
better
laid
,
by
how
much
they
are
worse
lov'd
,
and
he
that
would
speak
hopefully
in
things
not
pleasing
to
nature
,
is
put
to
it
to
speak
convincingly
,
for
men
will
never
receive
things
against
their
will
and
their
reason
too
.
37.
A
sound
foundation
38.
The
manner
of
Building
is
a
material
some
must
be
saved
with
Fear
,
[a](A64571-e3940-b)
whether
they
like
it
or
no
,
for
its
sure
(
if
they
be
saved
)
they
will
like
it
;
others
(
happily
)
are
so
meekned
and
made
ready
by
the
grace
and
hand
of
God
,
that
there
's
no
cause
why
hammer
or
axe
,
or
any
iron
or
harder
toole
should
be
heard
,
[b](A64571-e3960-b)
and
if
it
be
so
,
he
hath
a
hard
heart
that
will
strike
but
one
needless
stroke
,
on
such
have
compassion
,
Jude
v.
22
,
23.
39.
As
for
the
fashion
of
the
Building
,
wisedom
is
a
winner
,
[c](A64571-e4020-b)
and
the
commendation
of
a
Spiritual
builder
is
,
to
raise
upon
a
good
foundation
,
a
substantial
frame
,
in
an
amiable
form
;
amiable
,
and
yet
variable
.
All
men
love
not
to
have
their
Houses
built
alike
:
Some
love
higher
Houses
,
and
delight
that
others
should
set
up
in
their
hearts
,
a
most
spiritual
and
heavenly
structure
:
others
love
a
lower
piece
,
and
cannot
be
abstracted
from
the
world
,
and
from
affairs
,
yet
in
truth
they
are
:
and
upon
Meditation
,
but
not
in
such
a
height
,
and
with
such
devotion
,
either
because
of
the
necessity
of
their
Calling
,
or
the
propension
of
their
minds
to
secular
imployments
and
engagements
:
in
which
respect
something
must
be
yielded
,
and
they
that
would
edifie
,
must
(
as
our
Saviour
speaks
)
tell
them
of
earthly
things
[d](A64571-e4120-b)
that
is
,
speak
of
heavenly
things
in
a
more
human
and
rational
,
rather
than
in
a
more
ghostly
and
spiritual
way
;
and
(
withall
)
so
limit
their
Christian
discourse
,
as
to
let
them
see
that
as
they
be
willing
to
advantage
them
in
regard
of
their
Souls
:
So
they
be
loath
to
prejudice
them
in
regard
of
their
Affairs
.
To
go
on
,
Some
there
be
that
like
a
Wide
house
,
and
to
be
left
wholly
to
that
large
room
which
the
Scripture
puts
them
into
in
its
general
rules
;
others
love
lesser
rooms
,
and
to
have
the
generalities
of
Scripture
drawn
down
for
a
regular
and
strict
course
in
all
particulars
;
for
where
grace
is
lesse
advantaged
by
natural
abilities
,
it
had
need
be
more
assisted
and
incouraged
by
outward
observances
.
Thus
there
being
a
latitude
in
Religion
,
and
God
being
pleased
to
dwell
in
Houses
of
different
Forms
;
[a](A64571-e4170-b)
Building-Christians
may
not
contend
to
have
all
as
one
,
neither
stand
with
men
that
are
truly
willing
,
that
with
them
Christ
should
have
a
house
to
put
his
head
in
,
about
the
fashion
of
the
building
;
onely
the
foundation
,
the
materials
,
and
the
maine
parts
of
the
building
must
be
alike
in
all
.
40.
Generally
,
As
the
Constitution
of
the
Patient
regulates
the
Physicians
Prescript
;
So
we
should
observe
in
all
religious
Communications
what
will
take
,
and
how
much
:
Give
Christians
leave
to
leave
with
an
appetite
,
even
when
the
Conference
is
pleasing
;
and
if
(
haply
)
it
be
less
gratefull
,
and
carry
a
reproof
with
it
,
then
,
as
the
maine
project
of
the
Physician
is
to
preserve
nature
,
and
to
maintain
himself
a
party
,
in
the
body
of
the
Patient
;
so
ever
look
to
this
,
to
preserve
love
:
Be
so
wise
at
one
time
as
to
be
welcome
at
another
,
yea
so
sweet
at
one
time
as
to
be
sem
for
at
another
.
41.
As
Christian
wisdome
[a](A64571-e4400-b)
Nor
is
due
and
just
estimation
to
be
entertained
onely
,
but
(
as
there
is
occasion
)
to
be
declared
;
for
as
outward
expressions
without
inward
and
real
respects
are
reputed
a
Flattery
;
so
an
inward
estimation
,
not
seconded
by
outward
and
answerable
acknowledgements
,
is
in
danger
to
be
reckoned
a
Dissimulation
.
The
heart
is
the
treasury
of
good
affections
,
not
the
prison
.
42.
Yet
Ministers
require
no
such
respect
as
to
debarre
their
People
from
being
their
private
and
modest
Remembrancers
,
whether
of
defects
or
faults
;
[b](A64571-e4480-b)
for
as
People
have
from
Pastors
a
ministerial
,
so
Pastors
have
from
People
a
christian
assistance
;
but
its
sufficient
when
they
have
to
do
with
Ministers
and
men
apprehensive
▪
to
intimate
the
former
;
and
while
they
have
to
do
with
men
consciencious
and
tender
,
to
touch
the
latter
.
Not
that
things
not
justifiable
should
be
favoured
in
any
:
but
Men
look
to
have
so
much
right
done
them
as
not
to
be
worse
thought
of
than
they
are
.
Now
a
frequent
and
importunate
Monitor
,
reports
himself
to
have
either
a
dull
or
an
hard-hearted
▪
hearer
.
43.
Christian
Remembrances
from
People
to
their
Pastor
,
as
they
ever
require
due
observance
,
so
do
they
relish
best
,
when
they
are
tendred
to
them
(
and
so
it
is
when
they
are
tendred
to
any
other
)
as
acts
of
obedience
and
conscience
,
proceeding
from
them
not
as
men
affecting
such
an
office
,
but
as
not
daring
to
omit
such
a
duty
:
its
one
thing
to
speak
of
things
amiss
(
especially
to
Superiors
)
as
those
that
are
bound
to
do
it
,
another
thing
to
speak
as
those
that
are
bent
to
do
it
.
44.
It
s
good
also
to
be
sure
things
are
amisse
before
a
man
signifie
it
,
else
he
must
needs
discover
a
want
either
of
a
good
judgement
,
or
of
good
will
,
which
,
though
the
wisedome
and
humility
of
Ministers
and
good
Christians
will
and
should
cover
,
yet
People
should
provide
not
to
discover
.
Two
things
are
due
to
all
good
People
,
in
particular
;
to
a
Pastor
,
Love
and
Honour
:
Love
covers
a
multitude
of
things
that
are
truly
blameable
:
but
Honour
will
not
so
much
as
mention
that
that
is
questionable
.
45.
Such
things
as
these
are
requisite
,
in
point
of
prudence
between
People
and
their
Pastor
:
but
the
best
wisedome
of
a
Hearer
is
,
to
make
the
best
use
of
his
Minister
,
for
which
purpose
Disciples
shall
do
well
to
propound
,
and
Ministers
to
accept
and
countenance
,
usefull
Questions
:
but
propounded
they
should
be
at
fit
times
without
molestation
,
and
urged
with
modesty
,
as
by
those
whose
meaning
is
not
to
maintain
an
Argument
(
there
's
difference
between
a
Disciple
and
a
Disputant
)
but
to
obtain
an
Answer
.
46.
Upon
such
Proposals
,
Ministers
do
for
present
(
as
need
requires
,
and
as
occasions
permit
)
debate
the
matter
,
and
perhaps
deliver
their
judgements
,
which
people
are
reverently
to
receive
,
and
to
entertain
,
as
those
that
are
willing
to
take
resolution
as
well
as
to
seek
it
;
not
but
that
they
may
examine
any
mans
judgements
(
as
the
Bereans
did
Pauls
Sermon
)
by
Scripture
,
or
by
Reason
;
but
not
oppose
it
by
mere
opinion
.
I
grant
indeed
there
may
be
some
belonging
to
a
Ministers
charge
of
extraordinary
parts
,
knowledge
,
and
judgement
,
to
whom
therefore
more
is
to
be
granted
;
but
(
to
speak
of
that
which
is
ordinary
)
it
is
not
equal
nor
modest
(
when
Teachers
and
Scholars
conferre
together
,
)
for
the
Scholar
and
Disciple
to
oppose
judgement
with
judgement
,
nor
to
be
high
and
peremptory
,
(
though
with
some
shew
of
reason
)
for
if
the
Teacher
have
not
better
reason
for
the
present
,
yet
he
may
have
.
47.
But
whatever
Pastors
and
Teachers
say
for
the
present
,
yet
as
preaching
is
a
Ministers
principal
task
,
so
is
it
a
Hearers
highest
help
;
what
Hearers
propound
,
Ministers
do
(
perhaps
)
more
observe
than
answer
when
they
propound
it
,
and
choose
rather
to
speak
better
in
publick
,
than
more
in
private
;
and
publick
Sermon-solutions
are
absolutely
best
,
(
unlesse
in
some
private
and
personal
Cases
)
as
being
—
1.
more
general
;
what
more
effectual
;
[a](A64571-e4930-b)
and
with
the
prayers
of
the
Minister
and
the
whole
Congregation
that
that
blessing
may
be
bestowed
.
48.
Yet
the
occasions
,
gifts
,
and
dispositions
of
men
being
different
,
and
some
being
more
addicted
to
Discourse
than
Meditation
,
(
and
more
happy
in
it
also
)
nothing
can
be
here
certainly
defined
,
nor
is
it
needfull
;
for
the
wise
and
carefull
Christian
will
quickly
see
what
he
may
have
,
and
how
he
may
best
have
it
,
and
accordingly
manage
the
matter
so
as
to
obtain
his
own
best
assistance
,
with
his
Pastors
best
acceptance
.
49.
Next
to
the
Minister
,
50.
With
those
that
are
truly
good
,
we
shall
do
well
to
converse
—
1.
with
more
familiarity
and
openesse
of
heart
,
as
being
of
one
houshold
,
[b](A64571-e5080-b)
however
Un-united
by
external
allyances
;
—
2.
with
intireness
of
affection
as
being
children
of
one
Father
,
[c](A64571-e5130-b)
whatever
outward
distances
there
be
;
[*](A64571-e5140-b)
—
3.
with
respect
to
edification
,
as
being
Servants
part
regenerate
,
and
that
according
to
that
good
and
perfect
,
and
acceptable
will
of
God
,
whereby
the
renewed
mind
ought
to
be
guided
.
[d](A64571-e5210-b)
A
thing
the
rather
to
be
marked
,
that
our
Zeale
in
the
pressing
of
Persons
well
affected
,
may
be
imployed
with
respect
to
Duty
,
not
Phansie
▪
so
as
to
nourish
grace
in
them
,
not
humour
;
and
so
as
to
beat
down
sinne
in
them
,
not
civility
and
humanity
:
In
brief
,
that
that
is
contrary
to
Gods
word
,
not
our
way
.
51.
As
for
those
that
are
Un-called
,
the
rule
is
,
to
carry
our selves
towards
them
wisely
;
[e](A64571-e5330-b)
It
sufficeth
(
in
a
sort
)
to
carry
our selves
towards
the
good
innocently
,
but
as
for
those
that
be
without
,
as
all
Un-converted
persons
are
in
a
true
and
a
sad
sence
;
[f](A64571-e5360-b)
Innocency
needs
Wisedoms
assistance
for
the
avoiding
of
any
thing
blameable
,
though
but
in
appearance
.
[g](A64571-e5370-b)
It
belongs
to
our
Sanctity
and
Sincerity
,
not
to
be
Faulty
,
but
to
our
Wisedom
,
not
to
seem
so
.
52.
Particularly
,
we
shall
do
well
before
unregenerate
Neighbours
and
Friends
,
to
carry
our
[h](A64571-e5440-b)
then
may
we
the
better
hope
to
winne
them
.
[i](A64571-e5450-b)
—
2.
Meekly
,
for
if
they
be
bad
,
so
were
[k](A64571-e5520-b)
—
3.
Kindly
,
if
Barbarians
shew
no
small
kindness
to
Christians
,
[l](A64571-e5570-b)
shall
Christians
shew
no
great
kindnesse
to
Barbarians
,
and
Persons
unacquainted
with
religion
?
if
those
that
we
wish
were
good
were
found
to
be
very
neighbourly
,
shall
we
harden
them
in
their
Condition
by
being
behind
with
them
in
Kindnesse
?
—
against
Conscience
,
but
against
natural
Disposition
,
and
the
bent
of
our
Spirits
;
which
must
be
so
far
ordered
and
mastered
,
as
that
we
withdraw
not
from
Neighbours
and
Friends
,
as
those
that
be
loath
to
look
upon
them
;
that
's
against
humanity
:
nor
be
sowre
towards
them
,
that
's
against
civility
:
nor
refrain
causlesly
commō
meetings
with
them
,
that
's
against
the
laws
of
love
and
humane
society
.
53.
But
Friends
and
54.
Therein
(
haply
)
some
are
Equals
;
and
toward
[c](A64571-e5710-b)
and
chearfully
,
not
dully
and
lumpishly
;
one
Friend
is
not
to
be
a
Stone
to
another
,
out
of
which
nothing
can
be
gotten
;
but
a
whet
stone
,
[d](A64571-e5740-b)
to
sharpen
and
quicken
to
such
conference
and
converse
as
is
both
pious
and
profitable
,
both
for
the
advantage
of
their
Souls
and
their
affairs
.
55.
Others
in
the
Family
are
Inferiours
,
towards
that
that
is
equal
;
[f](A64571-e5840-b)
trembling
to
abuse
their
power
and
preheminence
to
oppression
.
[g](A64571-e5850-b)
—
3.
Patience
and
condescending
,
[h](A64571-e5900-b)
56
The
nearest
Family-relation
,
and
the
dearest
,
is
that
of
man
and
wife
,
[i](A64571-e5960-b)
to
the
husband
as
the
Worthier
,
to
the
wife
as
the
Weaker
;
as
a
costly
piece
of
Plate
is
laid
up
choycely
,
and
a
curious
Glasse
handled
tenderly
;
the
one
because
of
the
value
,
the
other
because
of
the
beauty
and
bricklenesse
.
57.
It
s
an
easie
matter
for
the
Wife
that
is
the
lesse
and
the
tenderer
,
to
love
the
Husband
;
but
58.
A
Husbands
love
will
never
take
away
the
Wifes
fear
:
[a](A64571-e6040-b)
Vertue
begets
Reverence
(
especially
in
those
who
do
not
onely
behold
the
beauty
,
but
enjoy
the
benefit
of
it
)
and
love
is
the
Husbands
proper
Vertue
:
Familiarity
may
breed
Contempt
in
a
political
and
civil
distance
,
but
not
in
a
conjugal
;
which
is
not
like
the
head
politique
and
the
body
,
in
which
either
part
uses
too
much
to
shift
for
it self
,
that
to
maintain
an
honour
,
and
this
to
obtain
a
benefit
:
but
like
the
head
natural
,
and
the
members
that
are
so
indeared
,
that
the
head
is
never
in
dammage
of
contempt
for
dealing
kindly
with
the
inferiour
members
.
Besides
,
that
God
so
blesses
what
he
requires
in
the
Husband
,
that
is
,
intire
love
,
that
it
shall
never
hinder
him
of
what
the
same
God
requires
in
the
Wife
,
that
is
,
hearty
and
seemly
respect
.
59.
As
Love
must
be
the
Husbands
study
,
so
is
Subjection
the
Wives
duty
,
I
say
,
Subjection
;
a
sad
word
,
but
a
thing
not
only
easie
,
but
sweet
,
if
the
Husband
mind
his
duty
first
;
The
Husband
loves
,
the
Wife
serves
;
and
who
are
not
Servants
most
willingly
when
they
are
lov'd
most
dearly
?
Love
was
never
yet
known
to
be
a
Tyrant
.
Besides
,
in
him
that
guides
and
carries
things
by
his
Command
the
ability
is
required
,
and
by
him
the
adventure
is
born
;
the
Wife
hath
the
ease
to
walk
onely
in
the
way
chaulked
out
,
neither
cumbred
with
the
managing
of
the
business
,
if
it
be
difficult
,
nor
blamed
for
the
successe
,
if
it
be
disasterous
;
Adde
to
this
,
that
it
is
the
custome
of
Love
in
the
Husband
to
put
the
Wifes
counsel
into
his
own
Command
,
and
so
to
obey
him
,
is
to
please
her self
,
and
to
fulfill
her
own
mind
.
60.
If
it
so
fall
out
,
that
the
Husband
be
more
imperious
than
wise
,
and
have
more
mind
to
rule
than
to
love
,
it
sends
the
sad
Wife
to
see
why
she
chose
him
,
but
doth
not
privilege
her
to
disobey
him
;
here
her
Wisedome
must
facilitate
her
Subjection
,
which
in
stead
of
denying
Obedience
,
prevents
Commands
;
for
which
purpose
,
if
she
foresee
any
thing
unlawfull
,
her
piety
pleads
for
the
prevention
;
(
and
that
so
,
as
to
take
no
Nay
)
if
unreasonable
,
her
wit
;
if
unpleasing
,
her
interests
;
and
by
these
means
(
but
ever
with
prayer
to
God
,
for
though
it
do
not
belong
to
Wives
to
rule
their
Husbands
,
yet
to
God
it
doth
)
I
say
,
by
these
means
,
the
matter
is
like
to
be
well
amended
:
If
any
thing
be
yet
heavier
▪
that
will
not
make
Disobedience
lawfull
,
but
it
will
make
Obedience
laudable
,
and
much
more
thank-worthy
:
[b](A64571-e6330-b)
and
its
like
to
be
as
profitable
to
the
Wife
,
as
commenlable
in
her
,
the
doing
of
what
God
requires
of
her
,
being
the
onely
way
to
change
and
mollifie
her
hard
Husband
,
not
onely
because
meeknesse
and
submissiveness
hath
a
melting
quality
in
any
heart
that
can
relent
,
[c](A64571-e6340-b)
but
because
where
Gods
will
is
performed
,
Gods
power
(
that
is
able
to
alter
and
order
all
things
and
persons
[d](A64571-e6370-b)
)
is
more
hopefully
expected
,
and
the
more
like
sooner
or
later
)
to
be
obtained
.
60.
Nothing
more
alienates
Maried
▪
persons
than
the
studying
of
each
others
imperfections
and
errours
,
which
as
they
should
keep
as
much
as
may
be
from
others
eyes
,
so
from
their
own
thoughts
;
the
observation
of
them
is
too
much
for
others
,
the
meditation
for
themselves
.
62.
The
best
way
to
live
comfortably
(
therefore
)
is
,
for
the
Wife
or
Husband
to
look
upon
their
own
faults
,
but
upon
the
vertues
or
perfections
of
their
comfort
;
the
first
of
these
begets
Patience
;
the
later
maintains
Love.
63.
Wilfullness
is
a
fault
inexcusable
every
where
;
but
if
a
Wifes
Weakness
raise
up
stirs
and
debates
,
that
's
the
Husbands
fault
,
for
why
is
he
a
Man
(
indued
of
God
with
more
knowledge
)
but
that
he
should
dwell
with
his
wife
according
to
knowledge
,
[a](A64571-e6510-b)
that
is
,
according
to
that
knowledge
that
is
in
him
,
not
that
infirmity
that
is
in
her
,
using
his
wit
for
the
covering
of
her
weaknesse
?
or
why
is
he
a
Husband
,
but
to
put
a
veil
over
,
and
to
cast
an
honour
upon
the
weaker
part
of
himself
?
and
equal
it
is
that
he
should
be
a
covering
to
64.
To
summe
up
all
Man
and
Wife
should
live
together
as
Fellow
heirs
of
the
grace
of
life
,
[c](A64571-e6620-b)
and
those
that
stand
God-ward
,
and
Heaven-ward
,
in
an
equality
;
if
life
belongs
to
him
,
so
doth
it
to
her
;
if
grace
help
her
to
that
life
,
so
doth
it
him
;
if
he
be
an
heir
of
this
life
,
in
that
she
is
his
fellow
.
This
should
make
the
Wife
bear
her
Subjection
with
much
more
meekness
,
and
the
Husband
also
to
carry
his
Superioritie
with
much
modesty
and
mildness
.
65.
Yea
,
both
of
them
to
use
Mariage-contentments
with
much
moderation
,
to
wit
,
as
those
that
are
to
live
together
but
for
a
while
here
,
but
hereafter
for
ever
;
and
that
after
another
fashion
;
for
the
fashion
of
this
world
passeth
away
,
[d](A64571-e6690-b)
&
no
estate
here
affords
any
other
than
a
perishing
com
for
t
;
and
a
poor
also
,
as
being
of
too
low
a
nature
to
be
heard
of
when
once
we
come
to
Heaven
,
[e](A64571-e6720-b)
and
why
should
we
that
are
appointed
to
heavenly
glory
,
engage
our
affections
in
those
pleasures
that
are
altogether
unworthy
that
place
,
and
not
rather
enter
(
as
much
as
may
be
)
into
acquaintance
with
those
comforts
which
we
shall
never
shake
hands
withall
,
but
have
a
full
fellowship
with
hereafter
?
Meat
and
Drink
,
and
Mariage
,
are
for
our
need
(
while
we
are
here
below
)
rather
than
for
our
honour
;
it
becomes
us
not
(
therefore
)
to
lye
down
,
and
wallow
in
them
,
but
to
lap
(
with
our
hands
)
and
leave
,
[f](A64571-e6780-b)
reserving
our
hearts
for
and
setling
them
upon
the
glories
of
that
place
,
wherein
,
they
neither
marry
,
nor
are
given
in
mariage
,
but
are
as
the
Angels
of
God.
66.
If
the
Family
,
be
blessed
with
Children
,
God
must
be
blessed
for
them
,
[g](A64571-e6830-b)
and
thankfullnesse
must
be
shewed
in
carrying
the
course
of
our
dealing
so
with
them
,
as
to
sit
them
for
67.
The
rule
of
this
Education
is
,
Teach
a
Childe
;
[h](A64571-e6870-b)
It
s
true
,
such
cannot
understand
what
is
taught
them
in
the
things
of
God
;
nor
did
Christs
Disciples
underderstand
divers
things
that
he
taught
them
while
he
was
amongst
them
;
[a](A64571-e6880-b)
It
s
well
that
the
seed
is
sown
,
and
good
things
lodged
in
the
heart
;
the
fruit
must
be
expected
;
and
when
the
Spirit
comes
(
that
quickeneth
all
things
)
it
will
be
produced
from
that
very
seed
that
in
Childhood
was
received
,
[b](A64571-e6890-b)
nor
shall
they
depart
from
that
very
teaching
when
they
be
old
,
whereof
they
seemed
to
take
no
notice
when
they
were
young
;
Not
but
that
(
divers
times
)
i●
falls
out
otherwise
:
but
the
course
(
for
all
that
)
is
Gods
course
,
which
he
will
make
effectual
according
to
his
own
counsel
,
and
which
(
if
it
reach
not
further
,
yet
prevails
ordinarily
for
some
good
restraint
,
2
King.
12.
2.
68.
The
best
time
and
wayes
of
instruction
,
Parents
themselves
(
that
mind
the
duty
)
will
well
discern
,
onely
the
thing
must
be
done
,
and
neither
idlenesse
and
dullness
,
nor
averseness
from
better
things
(
when
twice
so
much
time
is
spent
in
impertinencies
)
nor
an
indisposition
to
that
particular
duty
,
nor
worldlyness
and
business
(
which
is
so
presented
by
Satan
,
as
if
half
an
hours
Catechising
were
an
irrecoverable
impediment
)
I
say
,
neither
these
,
nor
any
the
like
things
should
hinder
the
bringing
up
of
Children
in
the
nurture
and
admonition
of
the
Lord.
69.
Unto
instruction
,
correction
must
be
added
,
that
puts
in
wisedome
,
this
drives
out
folly
[c](A64571-e7060-b)
;
of
this
Correction
there
must
be
,
—
1.
a
clear
cause
,
to
childes
foolishness
,
not
the
correctors
frowardness
;
—
2.
In
it
there
calme
heart
;
it
is
not
good
to
give
a
Medicine
scalding
hot
;
and
—
3.
ejaculations
prayers
to
God
do
well
with
correction
;
for
the
rod
is
not
onely
an
instrument
,
(
fit
in
reason
,
to
do
a
childe
good
)
but
an
ordinance
appointed
of
God
for
that
purpose
,
unto
which
also
God
hath
annexed
a
promise
that
it
shall
drive
out
and
scatter
,
even
Fast-boundfolly
;
[d](A64571-e7170-b)
now
every
promise
bespeaks
a
prayer
.
[e](A64571-e7180-b)
70.
It
belongs
to
Parents
to
lay
up
for
children
,
[f](A64571-e7210-b)
but
withall
,
to
make
them
able
(
in
a
way
wherein
they
shall
glorifie
God
and
profit
others
)
to
lay
up
for
themselves
;
This
is
done
by
disposing
them
into
a
sit
and
usefull
calling
,
with
respect
to
the
abilities
God
hath
bestowed
on
them
,
and
the
inclinations
he
hath
planted
in
them
:
for
their
condition
must
not
appoint
their
calling
,
but
their
Talent
;
A
man
must
not
seek
out
such
a
Calling
as
will
provide
best
for
him
,
but
wherein
he
shall
do
most
for
God
:
Not
but
that
a
man
may
look
to
live
by
his
Calling
,
and
according
to
the
charge
of
Children
he
hath
,
to
lay
up
with
it
:
but
first
seek
the
kingdom
of
God
,
and
the
glory
of
God
,
that
other
things
may
(
and
then
other
things
shall
)
be
ministred
and
added
.
[g](A64571-e7330-b)
71.
Disposition
in
mariage
is
(
for
Parents
)
the
highest
duty
,
and
for
Children
(
being
well
discharg'd
)
the
happiest
,
wherein
the
principal
thing
to
be
regarded
is
,
the
fear
of
God
:
for
let
the
World
esteem
or
disesteem
Religion
as
they
please
,
yet
this
is
the
Sentence
of
Scripture
,
Favour
is
deceitfull
,
and
Beauty
is
vain
,
but
a
woman
that
feareth
the
Lord
,
(
and
it
s
true
of
a
man
also
)
she
shall
be
praised
.
[h](A64571-e7390-b)
It
s
not
to
be
denyed
but
a
good
nature
(
if
any
nature
were
good
)
is
a
great
sweetner
of
Society
,
and
would
do
pretty
well
if
man
and
wife
were
to
live
together
onely
in
a
humane
way
,
(
wherein
vertuous
Heathens
will
compleatly
keep
them
company
)
but
being
that
they
are
to
live
together
,
as
Christian
and
Christian
,
that
they
are
to
walk
together
with
God
as
well
as
with
Man
,
and
with
one
another
,
yea
and
to
converse
together
as
Fellow-heirs
of
the
grace
of
life
;
[i](A64571-e7430-b)
what
's
a
good
nature
(
in
reference
to
these
things
)
but
the
white
of
an
egge
,
which
hath
this
in
it
,
that
it
offends
not
;
but
this
withall
,
that
it
relisheth
not
?
Let
it
be
the
praise
of
good
natures
,
that
they
contradict
not
goodness
,
but
is
not
this
a
deep
defect
that
they
contribute
nothing
to
it
?
Good
they
be
for
the
six
dayes
,
but
on
the
Lords
day
,
what
is
there
pleasant
in
them
but
their
Patience
?
It
s
true
that
a
fair
nature
rustles
with
religion
in
a
froward
,
and
seems
to
get
the
better
;
yet
to
them
that
love
to
live
in
a
course
beyond
nature
,
and
to
see
God
in
a
Companion
(
not
Cato
,
Socrates
,
Phocion
,
&c.
)
Grace
with
all
its
faults
will
be
better
than
refined
Nature
:
A
piece
of
Gold
is
better
though
it
needs
its
allowance
,
than
the
compleatest
piece
of
Silver
,
and
fretfull
Jonas
will
be
found
more
lovely
than
the
meekest
Mariner
,
or
the
sweetest
Nin●vite
.
72.
The
next
thing
to
be
looked
at
(
after
the
religion
of
a
Consort
)
is
the
good
discretion
;
for
Wisedom
exceeds
Folly
,
as
much
as
Light
exceeds
Darknesse
.
[a](A64571-e7630-b)
This
is
true
in
all
,
but
in
those
especially
of
better
parts
.
If
a
Daughter
be
to
be
disposed
of
(
of
more
worth
)
nothing
is
more
to
be
feared
(
next
to
an
Ungodly
)
than
an
Unworthy
Husband
;
for
the
duty
of
a
Wife
is
to
be
subject
,
and
with
what
patience
shall
wisedom
be
subject
to
Folly
?
It
may
better
be
born
if
there
be
eminency
of
gifts
on
the
Husbands
part
,
and
infirmity
on
the
Wives
;
and
yet
,
this
is
a
business
also
,
for
a
Husband
ought
to
love
his
Wife
,
and
there
's
such
a
distance
between
Wisedome
and
Weaknesse
,
that
there
will
be
work
enough
for
a
more
than
ordinary
Wisedom
to
love
(
with
a
Husbands
love
)
a
Woman
of
more
than
ordinary
Weakness
.
73.
After
this
,
Mariage-affection
requires
a
pleasing
person
,
I
say
after
this
discretion
,
which
is
of
the
greater
consequence
(
even
in
the
matter
of
affection
)
than
an
external
amiablenesse
is
;
for
this
is
the
difference
between
Discretion
and
Beauty
,
that
Discretion
is
a
thing
still
continuing
and
still
thriving
;
hence
the
love
grounded
upon
that
,
both
stayes
and
growes
:
but
Beauty
may
be
gone
suddenly
and
(
howsoever
)
is
going
continually
;
hereupon
,
the
affection
must
needs
fall
with
the
foundation
;
yet
it
combines
on
both
sides
(
in
her
especially
that
is
to
be
the
desire
of
a
mans
eye
,
[b](A64571-e7810-b)
)
of
no
small
importance
,
which
,
suppose
(
erelong
)
it
loose
its
lustre
:
yet
divers
things
that
will
not
abide
to
the
last
,
may
serve
for
the
rooting
and
setling
of
affection
at
the
first
.
74.
Nor
is
a
Patrimony
and
Portion
to
be
contemned
where
a
Family
and
Posterity
is
to
be
raised
;
Fathers
must
not
onely
lay
out
,
but
lay
up
for
their
Children
,
[c](A64571-e7880-b)
and
it
is
not
easie
,
nor
a
thing
so
likely
that
they
should
lay
up
much
who
begin
with
nothing
:
Besides
,
we
would
be
willing
to
live
so
,
as
to
expresse
Vertue
,
and
draw
a
just
reputation
from
others
by
the
beames
of
beneficence
dispers'd
from
our selves
;
now
though
Wisedome
and
Vertue
be
truly
,
yea
and
eminently
good
in
it self
;
yet
it
is
evidently
good
with
an
inheritance
,
[d](A64571-e7930-b)
in
which
regard
,
howsoever
a
worldly
portion
is
justly
reckoned
a
very
bad
Leader
,
yet
neglect
not
to
look
upon
it
as
a
usefull
Follower
.
75.
All
these
things
doe
in
special
manner
concern
the
Parties
themselves
that
are
towards
mariage
;
onely
Parents
are
to
see
that
they
doe
not
(
out
of
self
will
and
imperiousnesse
,
or
for
vain
and
worldly
ends
,
or
out
of
self-respects
)
hinder
their
Children
from
walking
in
,
but
rather
do
all
they
can
by
their
counsel
and
authoritie
,
to
guide
and
carry
them
in
a
right
and
regular
way
in
a
matter
of
so
great
importance
.
When
God
hath
given
Children
unto
them
,
as
his
Trustees
,
a
chief
part
of
their
care
lyes
in
this
,
to
take
●eed
how
they
give
them
away
,
and
into
what
hands
they
put
them
for
a
continual
,
and
perpetual
abode
.
76.
Mariage
being
according
to
these
(
and
the
like
)
Rules
religiously
managed
,
as
it
is
an
estate
honourable
in
it selfe
,
and
in
Gods
account
,
so
shall
it
be
FINIS
.