The Godly mans Choyce .

EVery end hath its proper way and means appertaining to it . All ways will not equally alike lead to the same end ; there is a contrary way that will never bring thee to it . There is a crooked and indirect way , that may perhaps , but with much trouble and labour ; but then there is a streight and direct way , and this is that way , which will both with ease and pleasure , bring thee to thy desired end . This is the way which all men grope after , but few can find it .

Now if to marry , and to marry in the Lord , a wife and a good wife , one with whom thou mayst begin thy dayes with joy , continue them in quiet , and end them with comfort , if this be the end of thy thoughts , then surely the most direct and streight way to obtain it , will be to seek her of God . Not a few are the inducements to move us to this course .

1. Because hee is best able to guide and direct you to the finding of her ; she is a flower that growes not in every garden , an hearb that is not in every field , she is not to be found in every house ; you may seek long enough ere you find , and finding be deceived , unlesse God direct you .

2. She cannot be had from any other but from him , he it is , who is the great Patron , in whose family are all the prudent , wise , vertuous , religious persons that are to be desired ; and if thou wouldest have one of these , apply thy self to obtain his favour , so shalt thou find a good wife , Pro. 18. 22. In other families no doubt thou mayst find a rich wife , a beautifull wife , but a prudent wife is from the Lord , Pro. 19. 14.

3. It is the easiest way to find her . Mercies ( though great ) yet when they cannot but with great difficulty be obtained , it either disheartens us in the pursuit of them , or els abates the sweetnesse in the enjoyment of them ; but with how much content and delight is the heart filled when it apprehendeth a great mercy , tumbling into his lap ? Wouldst thou obtain a good wife , ( which of temporall mercies is the greatest ) lo , this is the most compendious way : sit thou still , doe but seek and wait , and at length thou shalt as it were behold God bringing her in his hand , and offering her to thee : we see Adam slept while God brought Eve unto him , Gen. 2. 21.

4. Never any found , that did not thus seek ; many indeed have wandred & roved over this wide world , seeking in every place , casting their eyes in every corner , through Citie & Country , Town and Village , but after the most diligent scrutinie , what have they at length found ? Peradventure riches . Alas ! that 's vanishing . It may be , honour , that 's a burden ; perchance beauty , that 's vanity , at the best ; or civility , & that is but guilded impiety ; yea , should they at length stumble on a good wife , yet if not thus sought , they shall either not long enjoy her , or else not so comfortably , because of many bitter ingredients which God will cast into it , which otherwise might have been a sweet portion .

5. Otherwise in stead of finding a blessing , thou mayst find a curse ; what greater blessing then to enjoy a meet help , one who may rejoyce thy heart in this thy pilgrimage , one who may accompany thee , and cheer thee up in the way , when thou art treading many a weary step to the land of rest ? But on the contrary , what heavier curse canst thou groan under , to what soarer vexation canst thou be yoak't to , then to an unequall yoak-fellow ? It is that which wil imbitter all thy comforts , bereave thee of all thy delights , rob thee of all thy contentments , yea make thy life wearisome , and death uncomfortable .

6. Hence it is , that they who otherwise seek , inherit so much anxiety and trouble in their seeking , who in stead of imploring Gods aid and assistance , imploy their owne wits in contriving how to accomplish their desires : and if their ends faile , and their expectations are crossed , how are they disturbed with the thought of it , their spirits being dull and stupid , their minds altogether lost in that which they desire to find , consume and weare out all their comfort and content in the pursuit of that which now they become uncapable to attain : being bereaved of themselves , their comforts , and peradventure their wits all at once : so at length make themselvs fitter for Bedlam then the mariage bed ; when as on the contrary , those who set themselves to seek her of God , enjoy much pleasure and quiet in seeking , contentment in finding , and comfort in the possessing .

7. Hereby shalt thou yeeld unto him due obeisance , acknowledging him to be thy supream governour , going to him as children to the Parent , for guidance and direction in all their affaires ; a thing well-pleasing unto him . But if on the contrary , we will rush into such weighty businesses , and venture our selves upon things of so great concernment , without acquainting him with it , or seeking to him for it , or imploring his aid and assistance for the accomplishing of it : what is it but to pluck our neckes from his yoak , casting off all obedience and subjection to him , as if wee had no dependance on him ; and therefore would slight all direction from him ?

8. Then lastly how ever it fal out , thou mayst find comfort in it : Bee she vertuous or vicious ; if vertuous , then comfort will flow in , on every side ; great comfort wil redound to thee , that God was graciously pleased to bend his eare unto thee , and give thee so favourable a pledge of his loving kindnesse . Every time thou casts thine eye upō her , thou mayest wth rejoicing cast up thine eyes to God , and say , Lo , this is the wife that thou hast given me , and blesse him in that thou hast so goodly an heritage . If vitious , yet if thou hast the inward testimony of thy conscience , bearing thee witnesse , that thou didst sincerely commit thy way unto the Lord , and roll thy selfe upon him for direction in it : Lo here thou mayst assuredly take comfort that all shall be for thy good : he who brought thee to this condition , shall support thee in it ; he wil either lighten the weight of thy burden , or strengthen the weaknesse of thy shoulders . But now if this web of trouble hath been of thine owne weaving , if by thine own negligence thou hast been much wanting in thy duty to God , and by indirect meanes hast haled this crosse upon thee , and God not cast it on thee , then lay thy hand upon thy mouth , patiently submit , repentance is fitter for thee then comfort .

Now , who wil not but easily be convinced , that no course is like this , for the procurement of a good wife ? It were well if our hearts could as easily be brought to subject to the practice of it , as our minds brought to submit to the truth of it .

But here it may be demanded , how or in what manner must God be sought , and dealt withall , by those who desire this blessing ?

The only way as for this , so for all other mercies , is prayer ; a means , under which may well be written , Probatum est : for seldome any who diligently applied themselvs to this way , ever failed of their end ; therefore let it be your study in the best manner you are able , to direct your supplications to him to this purpose .

1. That he would give you wisdome and understanding in your choyce ( for only the wise in choice seale to their joyes ) that when any one is presented to your view , that your heart might not be taken either with their beauty or riches , or naturall endowments , so as to be carelesse and negligent in seeking and searching after that , which is the main : That grace in her heart may be the only orient pearle that shines so bright in your eyes . Had we indeed nothing but a corporal substance , then beauty , riches , honour , and the like , might be chiefly desired & most sought after , as things most agreeable and delightfull unto sense : but we are endowed with a most noble soule , too high born to feed on such husks ; all these will afford no more relish , then the white of an egge . Therefore other dainties must be provided , other qualifications must be sought for , which may be more sutable to this noble faculty : And what can that be but grace ? that alone is the dainties with which the soule thrives : shall therefore the chiefest of our desires , and the greatest of our endevours be laid out for that which will nourish the body , but poyson the soule ; which will feed the slave , but starve the child ? God forbid : yet thus many doe , and thus shall we do if God withdraw from us his wisedome , and deliver us up to our owne folly .

2. Again , beg of God , that he would never knit thy affections to any whose affections he hath not knit to himselfe ; that thy love might never be sincere to them , whose love is not sincere to God . And because we many times see that there may be a rotten karkasse under a faire Sepulcher , and deadly poyson under a smooth skin , that there may be gall and bitternesse in their hearts , whose mouthes drop as the hony , and the hony comb : that there may be loathsome hypocrisie under the faire shewes of sincerity : And because God alone searcheth the heart , and trieth the reines , we can judge only by outward appearance : therefore desire of him , that he would search and try them ; and see if there be any way of iniquity found in them , and discover it to you , that so your affections might not be as some mens eyes , led astray with false fire .

3. Now if upon discovery it evidently appeares , that as yet the truth of grace is not wrought in her heart : then earnestly beg of God , that he would withdraw thy affections , and take away the edge of them : for it is to be questioned , whether thy heart be sincerely gracious , if thy affections can be sincere to them which are graceless . Fling not the reins of thy love upon the neck of thy affections , but beg of God that he who subdueth all things to himselfe , would subdue thy affections , & bring them into subjection to his will , that they might be like the Captains servant , to goe and come at his pleasure .

4. But now if thou hast so far ingaged thy self , that it is neither able nor lawfull for thee to withdraw thy affections , and yet canst not evidently perceive that there is truth of grace in her heart , then double thy requests before God , pray , and pray earnestly , that he would bestow on her his distinguishing mercies , that he would implant the seeds of saving grace in her heart , and make them to appeare in her life ; give not over night or day ; give not sleep to thine eyes , nor slumber to thy eye lids , till thou hast obtained this for her ; what fellowship hath light with darkness , or Christ with Belial ? yea enlarge thy requests unto God , that he would first unite her unto Christ , before he joynes her unto thee : that he would first marry her unto his Son , before he marries her unto thee ; that he would make her one with him , before he make her one with thee ; that he would make you members of one head , before he make you one body ; that yee might be both one spirit , before ye are one flesh ; that he would first joyn your hearts , and then joyne your hands .

5. Now if by diligent search it doth manifestly appeare , that God hath done more then ordinarily for her soule , that there are the impressions of a new creature stampt upon her , and that the pangs of the new birth are over , then the chiefe , but yet not all thy work is done : thou mayst not presently sit down and conclude , This is a wife for me and I will be an husband for her . No , there is yet a further inquiry to be made : for as thou mayst not make choice of any who is not godly , so neither mayst thou chuse of every one that is ; she may be good , yet not good for thee , she may be a fit wife , yet not fit for thee . Further therefore inlarge thy requests , that God would provide for thee not only a good wife , but a meet wife , meet in every respect .

1. In regard of age , a green head will not suit with gray haires , neither do we usually graft young plants upon old stocks : to see youth joyn'd to age , is a thing no lesse ridiculous to others , then incongruous in it self ; such matches never please any but the parties ; yea and them but for a while .

2. A meetnesse not only in regard of age , but parentage would be convenient : let birds of a feather flock together , pares cum paribus . The Eagle will not joyn herselfe with a Sparrow , neither is it fit for an Asse to associate with a Lion , they seldome joyne without confusion , which is commonly the event of such unequall matches , being begun with the discord of parents , and end for the most part in the dissention of parties .

3. Seek a meetnesse in regard of estate in some equall proportion* ; though meanes ought not chiefly to be sought , so neither altogether to be neglected .

1. Marry not one that hath nought , lest she be set at nought by thee , or by thy friends . Rachel was not so much despised for her barren womb , as many now are for their barren purse .

2. Againe , seeke not one whose estate doth far surpasse thine , Jerem. 45. 5. * Indeed if God by his providence cast such an one upon thee , thou mayst embrace it ; but it is one thing to seek it , and another thing to have it cast upon thee . But this is the Haven which most men desire , and here lieth the rock on which many men are split . Some are so desirous of riches , that no competent portion will serve their turne , but having many large proffers , yet remain unsatisfied , and so while they covet all , at length perhaps lose all ; so that there is danger in seeking , what is there then in finding a wife richly laden ? Surely that saying is true : Non videmus idmanticae quod in tergo est , we see not that part of the wallet that is behind , we view the fore-part of her wallet laden wth wealth , and there we fix our eyes , without either care or desire to looke further : But had we wisedome to cast our eyes into that part , which is behind , we should behold it fil'd with sorrow and trouble in full measure , thrust downe , heapt up ; yea , if not running over . How many inconveniences attend such marriages , they best know who feele the weight of them , and groan under the burden of them ; yet some there are , whi●h reason and daily experience inform us of ; as first , thou dost incur the danger of losing all thy right of respect that 's due unto thee , who in stead of reverencing thee , will disrespect thee , in stead of making thee her head , will set thee at her feet : and because in riches she weighes most , therefore she will look in authority to sway most : she whose desire should be to thee , now thine must be to her ; and because she hath brought thee thy estate , therefore will she take upon her , without controlment , to consume thy estate . And if by words or actions thou any way shew thy dislike , thou shalt soon find it , to the losse of thy peace , and the increase of thy daily trouble and vexation : yea , to an higher pitch will this flame arise , if there be not grace to qualifie it .

3. There should be a respect had to her constitution , and disposition ; two passionate natures will not well agree : much like the meeting of two mill-stones , when there is no corn between , it endāgers the firing of the whole Mill : litle peace and great trouble is the portion of that family where such meet . Neither will two melancholy bodies sute well ; when any crosse or trouble befalls them , how will they be able to bear one anothers burden , or comfort one another , when as melancholy , the nourisher of grief , is as much predominant in the one as in the other ?

By this then it may plainly appeare , that it is a businesse of great importance ; wisedome is not more necessarie and beneficial , neither is rashnesse more obnoxious in any thing then in this : * For being once done , it cannot be undone . Why is it , that every corner almost ecchoes with these or the like complaints ? One will say , I would I had never seen thy face ; another will say , I never enjoyed merry day since I knew thee ; a third , I would I were unmarried again . Some bewailing their condition with teares , others railing with oathes , and a third raging with curses : All which is nothing else but the fruit of an indiscreet and unadvised brain , which leapt before they lookt , and so run headlong upon their own ruine .

But now if by thy diligent prayers God hath been so gracious to thee , as to bring to thy view , and to thy proffer , one endowed with all those qualifications before mentioned , and so every way fit for thee , yet before thou setlest thy selfe to wooe her , wooe both thy friends and her friends , labour to obtaine their free wil and consent unto it ; you know the proverb , Stoln goods will not prosper , if thou takest her , without her friends consent , shee 's no better then stoln , for thou violently takest from them , that which they doe not willingly give thee : and how canst thou expect a blessing should accompany this thievish match ? Again , if thou givest thy self to her , without thy friends consent , thou robbest them of their priviledge , and becom'st thine own carver , a thing contrary to the rules of reason , and Gods word . Against the rules of reason : for what more reasonable then for a man to dispose of his owne , and what more his own then his children ? They are the parents right , they brought them into the world , they came out of their own loyns , and were bred up at their own breasts ; they have suffered much , and done much for them : How many sick sits , and weak faintings were they subject to in their conception ? How many terrible pangs and painfull dolours did accompany their production ? With what diligent care and fervent pains , and frequent cost were they at for their education ? How many a wakeful night , and wearisome rest , and tedious thoughts , and dolefull teares , and earnest prayers , have they poured out for them ? Let not him be worthy the name of a child , who having received thus much from their parents , will not with all possible subjection acknowledge it . And what better testimony of thy acknowledgement canst thou give , then in this , to submit thy selfe to him , who ( under God ) hath been the cause of thy being , and so earnestly seeks after thy well-being ? It is a part of the parents duty seasonably and carefully to provide in this kind for their children . Thus did Abraham for his son Isaac , Gen. 24. 2. 3. And Isaac for his son Jacob , Gen. 28. 12. And Hagar for her sonne Ismael , Gen. 21. 21. And as the sons , so the daughters were at the parents disposing , therefore saith Caleb , I will give thee Achsah my daughter to wife , Josh. 15. 17. And Saul gave David Michol his daughter to wife , 1 Sam. 18. 27. yea Naomi was carefull to provide for Ruth , her daughter in law , Ruth 1. 2. And is it not then the childrens duty to submit to their parents providing ? Yea surely : for so did Jacob , Gen. 28. 6 , 7. Nay , it is observable , that the parents consent amongst the heathen , is a thing requisite in marriage , Gen. 34. 4. Therefore said Shechem to his father Hamar , Get me this maid to wife , implying that unlesse his Father would get her , he could not take her . And what doe they but heap up woe to themselves , and sorrow and griefe upon the gray haires of their aged parents , who do otherwise ? Gen. 26. 34 , 35. Therefore seeing it is the Parents duty to provide , and thine to submit , beg of God that he would direct the hearts of thy parents to pitch upon one who may be every way qualified and meet for thee , as before mentioned , that their hearts may not be so carried away with some particular object , at which they look most , and like best , be it beauty or honour , or friends , or riches , or the like : ( for with these many are so taken , that if they see these attend her , be there else never so much unfitness and incongruity , yet they are resolute , none but she shall have their consent , ) but that their affections might be taken most with that which deserves it best : and then desire that thy affections may be pliable to his , that he would bring them into a submissive frame ; and not like some whose affections having taken an head , run themselves upon this desperate resolution , that what ever become of it , they are resolved , fall back or fall edge , like or dislike , none shall stop them , none shall hinder them ; certainly where such unbridled resolutions meet in either , it plainly argues that God was sought of neither ; neither of the parent for the child , nor of the child for himselfe . But surely this is the fruit of prayer , and here is the finger of God , when the thoughts , intentions , and affections of both sweetly and harmoniously meet , and conjoyne in one . The building up of this match will be like the building up of the Temple , 1 Kings 6. 7. wherein was heard neither the voyce of the Hammer or the axe : so here all things shall come forward so prosperously and so easily , that there shall not need an hammer to drive them , and all obstacles shall be so dissolved , that there shall be no need of an Axe to hew them asunder .

Now having successively wooed thy parents , then proceed to obtain the good will of the party ; but first be sure she be one to whom thy affections can be entirely knit . Let no riches entice thee , nor beauty allure thee , nor friends perswade thee , no nor grace move thee to make any thy wife , where thou dost not find thine affections equally drawing thee to it : for where entire love begins not the match , there jarring discords for the most part will end it . First , be sure that thy affections are on her ; and then labour to get her affections unto thee : This mutuall love is the foundation on which this marriage structure must be built , and the pillars which must continually support it . Indeed it is the very kernell of the businesse ; he who will attempt it without this , must expect that it cannot stand firm , but will ere long shatter about his eares .

And as thy care must be to get her good will , so how thou gettest it : for herein many bewray abundance of weaknesse , and a bundle of folly .

1. Some will declare their kindred , from what a noble stock they are derived , how nobly descended , what royall blood runs in their veines : Thus they seek by honour to win their wives .

2. Others will unlock their Treasuries , lay open their riches , spread before them their revenues , declare unto them the length and breadth of their possessions , with large proffers and promises , that the quintessence of them all shall be extracted for their use and service . Thus riches shall be a net to entrap their affections .

3. Some will acquaint them what large priviledges they shall obtain , what liberty they shall enjoy , what ever is in the house , or in the field , or in the purse , shall be at their disposing , that without controllment they shall come and goe , walk and ride at their own pleasure . These pretend liberty , but intend to bind them sure to themselvs .

4. Others there be who will spend their time and studies in frequenting the Muses , that so by their aid they may compose some curious Poems , & Anagrams , deckt with many quaint expressions , and fawning flatteries , thinking by these to ravish the affections of their silly sweet-hearts .

5. Some againe will seek to win their affections not with words , but actions , they will heap on them , many rare presents , and present them with many gifts , and give them many tokens , nay how will they strain their purses , and stretch their wits , as it were on the tenters , to contrive what gifts will be most acceptable , and what presents may be the best load-stone to draw their affections ?

6. Others there be , who will ●pply themselves by base flatterings and enticings accompanied with many foolish gestures , fond & unseemly carriages , the fruits of a weak brain , and a light behaviour , as if they had to deale with a simple child , and not a wise maiden .

7. And if this will not take effect , some there be who will set their hellish thoughts awork , how to accomplish , so as to have their lustfull will upon her , thinking that then all will be sure , as if they had to deale with a prostitute quean , and not a chast Virgin .

There are many other wayes and methods , which to the wisest are unknown . The way of a young man with a maid , is one of those foure hidden things , Prov. 30. 19. But it is to be feared , that among the many wayes that so many persons tread , there are but few that hit upon the right : Surely I should think this course best : it is most sure and lesse chargeable , a way wherein abundance of comfort and contentment may be brought in , and not any the least expended or laid out : seeking in another method , many spend abundance of rest and contentment , and at length misse of their aime , but in this way they shall gain abundance of peace and comfort , and seldome or never fail of their end .

Goe to God , and earnestly intreat him , that as he hath afforded thee his assistance hitherto , in guiding and directing thee to pitch thy thoughts only on one who is religiously and vertuously disposed , one who is every way qualified and fitted for thee ; and as he hath been gracious unto thee , so as to afford thee the free will and consent of parents , and removed all difficulties and rubbs that might lie in the way ; that so now there is a smooth and plain passage open for thee to her , and her to thee : desire him , that as he hath begun , that so he would finish the work : that he would guide thee and direct thee to pitch upon such a course , to obtain her affections , as may be most prosperous in it self , and best pleasing to him : Tell him thou knowest , that neither thine own nor her affections , are at each others own , but at his disposing ; he is able to turne them and wind them as he pleaseth : therefore i●treat him to knit and unite your affections one towards another in an unsep●rable bond that might never be broken ; in a knot so firm , that nothing but death may dissolve it : and not like some , who after their affections have been setled , and the match even almost concluded , I know not whether by their parents , for some triviall businesse , or mony matter ; or by the parties themselves for some small jarre or prejudice , entertained perhaps onely through the aspersion of some , malevolent to their future happinesse , they have rashly broke off all , which for the present , though they have swallowed downe , yet perhaps never throughly digested , and so it hath bred in them a distempered head , a disquieted mind , and a discontented heart .

Again , tell him , thou dost not attempt by any indirect wayes of thine owne , or by any unlawfull enterprises of others to insinuate thy selfe into her affections , or to draw her affections unto thee , but thou leavest it to him : And , as many do , sometimes make choyce of some speciall friend to imploy in this businesse of wooing for them ; so thou dost make choyce of him , as thy most especiall friend , into whose hands thou dost wholly commit thy selfe , intrusting him with the whole businesse , desiring him to doe all thy works for thee .

Now if he should seem to put thee off , as not willing to undertake for thee , thou mayst tell him , it is contrary to his practice of old , he was wont to invite his servants and children , that when they had any great businesse to do , they should come and cast the burden of it on him , Psal. 55. 22. Tell him he is immutable , he is God and changeth not , therefore he cannot shake thee off . Tell him thou dost trust him with it , and presse him with his promise wherein he hath said , He will never faile any that put their trust in him , Deut. 31. 6. Psal. 9. 10. and then thou mayst be sure he will not begin with thee . Tell him thou wilt stay his leasure , and wait upon him , knowing that he that beleeveth , maketh not hast ; tell him thou knowest that none can so easily unite your affections as he can ; if he do but speake the word , it shall be done ; and if he doe but once unite them , they are united to the purpose , nothing shall be able to loose them ; neither sicknesse nor poverty , or misery , or persecution , or imprisonment , or what ever it be that may separate their bodies , nothing shall separate their affections ; yea further desire him , that he would in such a way , and in such a manner draw your affections together , so as you may see , it is his hand alone that knits them : so shalt thou be encouraged to fasten them on her , as on one which he hath provided for you : yea , let him know , that as there are many prayers put up unto him , so there are many prayers wait upon him ; and if hee will successively accomplish the desires of his people , he shall most willingly inhabit the praises of his people . Surely , whoever doth apply himselfe in these wayes , hee shall find them very prosperous ; God doth usually crowne them with successe , thou shalt find more then an ordinary providence going along with thee , and doing for thee ; yea , it may be , beyond thy expectation , thou shalt see and feel such a sweet conjunction of heart and affection , the very contemplation of it will exceedingly please and delight thee .

When you or your friend for you , do make the motion to her friend or friends , under whose power she is , or if ( she being in her own power ) it be made to her selfe , you must then deal truly , doe not dare by any means , to circumvent them to gain your desire , either by seeming to be more religious , or better then you indeed are , or by making your condition , or estate , seeme better then it is , conceale nothing from them , the knowledge whereof after marriage , may cause griefe unto them ; or may give them cause to say , that you dealt falsly and deceitfully with them .

9. When you make & prosecute your sute to her , be serious , free , ingenuous , and discreet , with all kindnesse , yet doe not pretend more love then indeed you beare unto her .

10. Now if at last God hath answered thy praiers , and fulfilled thy desires , and hath given thee a vertuous wife , hath given thee her friends and thy friends consent , and hath most firmely united your affections in a sweet and inviolable bond of love , so that now the match is struck , and thou enjoyest thy hearts desire ; then forget not thy former serious resolutions , and intentions : Didst thou not resolve when thou wast in the multitude of thy thoughts , entangled in thy affections , surprised with feares , and doubtfull of thy hopes , that if God would be pleased to quiet thy thoughts , settle thy affections , banish thy feares , and make sure thy hopes , that then thou wouldst with all thankfull acknowledgement , return to him the glory of it . Remember therefore what hath gone out of thy mouth ; and as he hath turned thy petition into fruition ; so doe thou turn thy resolution into action , and presently fall a blessing of him .

1. Bless him that ever hee put it into thy heart to fall upon this course of seeking of him ; when as others in all their thoughts , and amidst the variety of their wayes and contrivances , this is the least , yea , not any of them : To seek God in such a matter as this , they think it a thing as ridiculous , so unprosperous ; now that thou shouldst make choyce of this way above all others , which by experience thou hast found to be the best and surest , here is cause of blessing .

2. Again , bless him , that he hath given thee any wisedome in choosing , that hee hath restrained thee from hurrying thy affections headlong , as many do , without wit or discretion , upon any which their rude fancie , and roving eye is cast upon , giving the reines to their unbridled affections , to run unadvisedly upon any , where they see no other excellency , but only that which is in wealth , honour , beauty , parts , or the like : as for grace , they desire it not at all ; or if they do , only as the over-waight to so many pounds of Gold ; yea , some are so besotted , that where none of these are , yet there shall their affections be ; how then hast thou cause to bless God , that he hath given thee such spirituall wisedome , wherewithall to over-master thy affections , so as they are carryed out only there , where there are better motives to draw them ? as for Beauty , Riches , and the like , these thou desirest only as Adjuncts , as the shell : Grace , that is the substance , that is the kernell , for which thou takest so much pains to get , and being gotten , takest so much delight in enjoying .

3. Bless him , not only for applying thy minde to seek a vertuous and gracious mate ; but that he hath crowned thy seeking with finding , that thou hast found a Rose among the Thistles and a Lilly among the Thornes ; that among so many thousands , he hath , as it were , cull'd out one , whose gracious and godly disposition is every way answerable to thy desire ; and whose qualification is every way sutable to thy nature ; he hath not dealt so with every one , many have sought , but not found , and few have had their expectations answered in their enjoyments .

4. Again , bless him not only that thou hast found , but that thou hast found with so much facility and delight ; he hath made thy pains easie , and thy labours delightfull , thou hast obtained a great blessing with little cost ; shouldest thou have obtained her as many have done , with the undergoing of a troubled minde , a disquieted spirit , many tumultuous thoughts , & restless vexations , yet thou couldst not but bless ; nay , shouldest thou have been put to it with David , to obtain thy wife with the danger of thy life , by dint of sword , to slay an hundred Philistims , and bring their fore-skins for a dowrie , 1. Sam. 18. 25. or with Othniel , who won his wife with the hazard of his life , by smiting Ki●…athsepher , and taking it , Josuah 15. 17. yet there was cause to bless : but if thou hast been so far from undergoing such difficulties , as that thou hast with no danger , but a great deal of safety , and much felicity obtained her ; God having removed for thee even all those lesser impediments , that at any time did but lie in the way as rubs to hinder it ; and hath in all thy way made good that promise to thee , Isa. 26. 3. keeping thee in perfect peace , because thy mind was stayed on him ; Oh then what cause hast thou to bless !

5. Bless him that he did freely give thee the good will and consent of thine and her friends ; the procuring of which some have sought with many a sad thought , and turbulent minde , but could not obtain it , and those that have ventured so far , as to match themselves without it , have incurr'd the loss , not only of their friends favour , but of their own comfort .

6. And bless him , if hee hath weaned thy affections from any that formerly they were cast on ( now seeing Gods providence otherwise disposing of her ) thou wast hereby wrought , not to a malicious hatred against her , or to a fretting vexation in thy self , as many have been , who having been once crossed in their affections , have for the time to come , resolved irreconcileable hatred against the party , and rashly vowed perpetuall virginity to themselves , a thing not in their own power . But herein mayst thou bless , that thou didst willingly submit to God , as to that which was best for thee , still preserving thy affections towards her , so as to pray for , and desire her welfare , rejoyce in her prosperity , and mourn with her in adversitie . And for thy selfe didst patiently commit thy selfe unto the Lord , waiting till hee would provide for thee , who hath now answerably satisfied thy desire , and given thee such a blessing as that thou hast not lost by waiting .

7. And lastly , bless him , that hee hath so prospered all your enterprizes , that hee hath so heard your prayers ; as that now hee hath given you a ful and compleat fruition of them , hee having now knit your affections one towards another in a most firm and indissoluble union ; so that all your former distempered thoughts are now quieted , your affections setled , your fears banished , and your hopes ( respecting so great a temporall mercy ) enjoyed .

{non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} .