the transformation of philip jettan georgette heyer _bibliographical note_ first publication: mills & boon, london, 1923 the original edition was published with the subtitle _a comedy of manners_, and the author used the pseudonym stella martin. the book was later published as _powder and patch_, with chapter twenty deleted. one the house of jettan if you searched among the downs in sussex, somewhere between midhurst and brighthelmstone, inland a little, and nestling in modest seclusion between two waves of hills, you would find little fittledean, a village round which three gentlemen had built their homes. one chose the north side, half a mile away, and on the slope of the downs. he was mr. winton, a dull man with no wife, but two children, james and jennifer. the second built his house west of the village, not far from the london road and great fittledean. he was one sir thomas jettan. he chose his site carefully, beside a wood, and laid out gardens after the dutch style. that was way back in the last century when charles the second was king, and what had then been a glaring white erection, stark-naked and blatant in its sylvan setting, was now, some seventy years later, a fair place, creeper-hung, and made kindly by the passing of the years. the jettan who built it became inordinately proud of the house. never a day passed but he would strut round the grounds, looking at the nude structure from a hundred different points of vantage. it was to be the country seat of the jettans in their old age; they were to think of it almost as they would think of their children. it was never to be sold; it was to pass from father to son and from son to grandson through countless ages. nor must it accrue to a female heir, be she never so direct, for old tom determined that the name of jettan should always be associated with the house. old tom propounded these notions to the whole countryside. all his friends and his acquaintances were shown the white house and told the tale of its owner's past misdemeanours and his present virtue--a virtue due, he assured them, to the possession of so fair an estate. no more would he pursue the butterfly existence that all his ancestors had pursued before him. this house was his anchor and his interest; he would rear his two sons to reverence it, and it might even be that the tradition which held every jettan to be a wild fellow at heart should be broken at last. the neighbours laughed behind their hands at old tom's childishness. they dubbed the hitherto unnamed house "tom's pride," in good-humoured raillery. tom jettan was busy thinking out a suitable name for his home when the countryside's nickname came to his ears. he was not without humour in spite of his vanity, and when the sobriquet had sunk into his brain, he chuckled deep in his chest, and slapped his knee in appreciation. not a month later the neighbours were horrified to find, cunningly inserted in the wrought-iron gates of the white house, a gilded scroll bearing the legend, "jettan's pride." no little apprehension was felt amongst them at having their secret joke thus discovered and utilised, and those who next waited on tom did so with an air of ashamed nervousness. but tom soon made it clear that, far from being offended, he was grateful to them for finding an appropriate name for his home. his hopeful prophecy concerning the breaking of tradition was not realised in either of his sons. the elder, maurice, sowed all the wild oats of which he was capable before taking up his abode at the pride; the other, thomas, never ceased sowing wild oats, and showed no love for the house whatsoever. when old tom died he left a will which gave maurice to understand that if, by the time he was fifty years of age, he still refused to settle down at the pride, it was to pass to his brother and his brother's heirs. thomas counselled maurice to marry and produce some children. "for damme if i do, my boy! the old man must have lost his faculties to expect a jettan to live in this hole! i tell ye flat, maurice, i'll not have the place. 'tis you who are the elder, and you must assume the--the responsibilities!" at that he fell a-chuckling, for he was an irrepressible scamp. "certainly i shall live here," answered maurice. "three months here, and nine months--not here. what's to stop me?" "does the will allow it?" asked tom doubtfully. "it does not forbid it. and i shall get me a wife." at that tom burst out laughing, but checked himself hurriedly as he met his brother's reproving eye. "god save us, and the old gentleman but three days dead! not that i meant any disrespect, y'know. faith, the old man 'ud be the first to laugh with me, stap me if he wouldn't!" he stifled another laugh, and shrugged his shoulders. "or he would before he went crazy-pious over this devilish great barn of a house. you'll never have the money to keep it, maurry," he added cheerfully, "let alone a wife." maurice twirled his eyeglass, frowning. "my father has left even more than i expected," he said. "oh ay! but it'll be gone after a week's play! god ha' mercy, maurry, do ye hope to husband it?" "nay, i hope to husband a wife. the rest i'll leave to her." tom came heavily to his feet. he stared at his brother, round-eyed. "blister me, but i believe the place is turning you like the old gentleman! now, maurry, maurry, stiffen your back, man!" maurice smiled. "it'll take more than the pride to reform me, tom. i'm thinking that the place is too good to sell or throw away." "if i could lay my hand on two thousand guineas," said tom, "anyone could have the pride for me!" maurice looked up quickly. "why, tom, all i've got's yours, you know very well! take what you want--two thousand or twenty." "devilish good of you, maurry, but i'll not sponge on you yet. no, don't start to argue with me, for my head's not strong enough what with one thing and another. tell me more of this wife of yours. who is it to be?" "i haven't decided," replied maurice. he yawned slightly. "there are so many to choose from." "ay--you're an attractive devil--'pon my word you are! what d'ye say to lucy farmer?" maurice shuddered. "spare me. i had thought of marianne tempest." "what, old castlehill's daughter? she'd kill you in a month, lad." "but she is not--dowerless." "no. but think of it, maurry! think of it! a shrew at twenty!" "then what do you think of jane butterfield?" thomas pulled at his lip, irresolute. "i'm not decrying the girl, maurice, but lord! could you live with her?" "i've not essayed it," answered maurice. "no, and marriage is so damned final! 'tisn't as though ye could live together for a month or so before ye made up your minds. i doubt the girl would not consent to that." "and if she did consent, one would not desire to wed her," remarked maurice. "a pity. no, i believe i could not live with jane." thomas sat down again. "the truth of it is, maurry, we jettans must marry for love. there's not one of us ever married without it, whether for money or no." "'tis so unfashionable," objected maurice. "one marries for convenience. one may have fifty different loves." "what! all at once? i think you'd find that a trifle inconvenient, maurry! lord! just fancy fifty loves, oh, the devil! and three's enough to drive one crazed, bruise me if 'tis not." maurice's thin lips twitched responsively. "gad no! fifty loves spread over a lifetime, and you're not bound to one of them. there's bliss, tom, you rogue!" thomas shook a wise finger at him, his plump, good-humoured face solemn all at once. "and not one of them's the true love, maurry. for if she were, faith, she'd not be one of fifty! now, you take my advice, lad, and wait. damme, we'll not spoil the family record! "a rakish youth, says the jettan adage, marriage for love, and a staid old age. "i don't know that it's true about the staid old age, though. maybe 'tis only those who wed for love who acquire virtue. anyway, you'll not break the second maxim, maurry." "oh?" smiled maurice. "what's to prevent me?" thomas had risen again. now he slipped his arm in his brother's. "if it comes to prevention, old sobersides, i'm game. i'll make an uproar in the church and carry off the bride. gad, but 'twould be amusing! carry off one's brother's bride, under his stern nose. devil take it, maurry, that's just what your nose is! i never thought on't before--stern, grim, old--now, steady, tom, my boy, or you'll be laughing again with the old gentleman not yet underground!" maurice waited for his brother's mirth to abate. "but, tom, 'tis very well for you to counsel me not to wed without love! i must marry, for 'tis certain you'll not, and we must have heirs. what's to be done, i'd like to know?" "wait, lad, wait! you're not so old that you can't afford to hold back yet awhile." "i'm thirty-five, tom." "then you have fifteen years to run before you need settle down. take my advice, and wait!" the end of it was that maurice did wait. for four years he continued to rove through europe, amusing himself in the usual way of gentlemen of his day, but in 1729 he wrote a long letter from paris to his brother in london, declaring himself in love, and the lady an angel of goodness, sweetness, amiability, and affection. he said much more in this vein, all of which tom had to read, yawning and chuckling by turns. the lady was one maria marchant. she brought with her a fair dowry and a placid disposition. so tom wrote off to maurice at once, congratulating him, and bestowing his blessing on the alliance. he desired his dear old maurry to quit travelling, and to come home to his affectionate brother tom. in a postscript he added that he dropped five hundred guineas at newmarket, only to win fifteen hundred at dice the very next week, so that had it not been for his plaguey ill-luck in the matter of a small wager with harry besham, he would to-day be the most care-free of mortals, instead of a jaded creature, creeping about in terror of the bailiffs from hour to hour. after that there was no more correspondence. neither brother felt that there was anything further to be said, and they were not men to waste their time writing to one another for no urgent matter. thomas thought very little more about maurice's marriage. he supposed that the wedding would take place in england before many months had gone by; possibly maurice would see fit to return at once, as he, tom, had suggested. in the meantime, there was nothing to be done. tom laid his brother's letter aside, and went on with his ordinary occupations. he lived in half-moon street. his house was ruled by his cook, the wife of moggat, his valet-footman. she also ruled the hapless moggat. moggat retaliated by ruling his jovial master as far as he was able, so one might really say mrs. moggat ruled them all. as tom was quite unaware of this fact, it troubled him not a whit. a month after he had answered his brother's letter, tom was disturbed one morning while he sipped his chocolate with the news that a gentleman wished to speak to him. tom was in his bed-chamber, his round person swathed in a silken wrapper of astonishing brightness. he had not yet doffed his nightcap, and his wig lay on the dressing-table. the lean, long moggat crept in at the door, which he seemed hardly to open, and ahem'd directly behind his master. tom was in the act of swallowing his chocolate, and as he had not heard moggat's slithering approach, the violent clearing of that worthy's throat startled him not a little, and he choked. tenderly solicitous, moggat patted him on the back until the coughs and splutters had abated. tom bounced round in his chair to face the man. "damn and curse it, moggat! what d'ye mean by it? what d'ye mean by it, i say? crawling into a room to make a noise at me just as i'm drinking! yes, sir! just as i'm drinking! devil take you! d'ye hear me? devil take you!" moggat listened in mournful silence. when tom ceased for want of breath, he bowed, and continued as though there had been no interruption. "there is a gentleman below, sir, as desires to have speech with you." "a gentleman? don't you know that gentlemen don't come calling at this hour, ye ninny-pated jackass? bring me some more chocolate!" "yes, sir, a gentleman." "i tell you no gentleman would disturb another at this hour! have done now, moggat!" "and although i told the gentleman, sir, as how my master was not yet robed and accordingly could not see any visitors, he said it was of no consequence to him whatsoever, and he would be obliged to you to ask him upstairs at once, sir. so i--" "confound his impudence!" growled tom. "what's his name?" "the gentleman, sir, on my asking what name i was to tell you, gave me to understand that it was of no matter." "devil take him! show him out, moggat! like as not 'tis one of these cursed bailiffs. why, you fool, what d'ye mean by letting him in?" moggat sighed in patient resignation. "if you will allow me to say so, sir, this gentleman is not a bailiff." "well, who is he?" "i regret, sir, i do not know." "you're a fool! what's this fellow like?" "the gentleman"--moggat laid ever so little stress on the word--"is tall, sir, and--er--slim. he is somewhat dark as regards eyes and brows, and he is dressed, if i may say so, exceedingly modishly, with a point-edged hat, and very full-skirted puce coat, laced, french fashion, with--" tom snatched his nightcap off and threw it at moggat. "numskull! d'ye think i want a list of his clothes? show him out, the swarthy rogue! show him out!" moggat picked up the nightcap, and smoothed it sadly. "the gentleman seems anxious to see you, sir." "ay! trying to dun me, the rascal! don't i know it! blustering and--" "no, sir," said moggat firmly. "i could not truthfully say that the gentleman blustered. indeed, sir, if i may say so, i think him a singularly quiet, cool gentleman. very soft-spoken, sir--oh, very soft-spoken!" "take him away!" shouted tom. "i tell you i'll not be pestered at this hour! i might be asleep, damme! tell the fellow to come again at a godly time--not at dawn! now, don't try to argue, moggat! i tell you, if it were my brother himself, i'd not see him!" moggat bowed again. "i will hinform the gentleman, sir." when the door closed behind moggat, tom leaned back in his chair and picked up one of his letters. not five minutes later the door creaked again. tom turned, to find moggat at his elbow. "eh? what d'ye want?" "hif you please, sir, the gentleman says as how he is your brother," said moggat gently. tom jumped as though he had been shot. "what? my brother? what d'ye mean? my brother?" "sir maurice, sir." up flew tom, catching at his wig and cramming it on his head all awry. "thunder an' turf! maurry! here, you raving wooden-pate! how dare you leave my brother downstairs? how dare you, i say?" he wrapped himself more tightly in his robe than ever, and dashed headlong out of the room, down the stairs to where maurice awaited him. sir maurice was standing by the window in the library, drumming his fingers on the sill. at his brother's tempestuous entrance he turned and bowed. "a nice welcome you give me, tom! 'tell him to come again at a godly time--i'd not see him if 'twere my brother himself,' forsooth!" thomas hopped across the room and seized both maurice's long, thin hands in his plump, chubby ones. "my dear maurry! my dear old fellow! i'd no notion 'twas you! my dolt of a lackey--but there! when did you arrive in england?" "a week ago. i have been at the pride." "a week? what a plague d'ye mean by not coming to me till now, ye rogue?" as he spoke, tom thrust maurice into a chair, and himself sat down opposite him, beaming with pleasure. maurice leaned back, crossing his legs. a little smile flickered across his mouth, but his eyes were solemn as he answered. "i had first to see my wife installed in her new home," he said. for a moment tom stared at him. "wife? tare an' 'ouns, ye don't waste your time! where and when did you marry the lady?" "three weeks ago, at paris. now i have come home to fulfil the last part of the jettan adage." "god ha' mercy!" ejaculated thomas. "not a staid old age, lad! not you?" "something like it," nodded maurice. "wait till you have seen my wife!" "ay, i'm waiting," said tom. "what's to do now, then? the country squire, and half a dozen children?" the grey eyes twinkled. "tom, i'll thank you not to be so coarse." "coarse? _coarse?_ gad, maurice, what's come over you?" "i am a married man," replied maurice. "as such i have--er--learned to guard my tongue. my wife--" "maurry, couldn't ye call the lady by her name?" begged tom. "faith, i can't bear those two words so often, proud though ye may be of them." maurice flushed slightly and smiled. "maria, then. she is a very--sweet, delicate lady." "lord! i'd made up my mind you'd wed a bold, strapping wench with a saucy smile, maurry!" "i? good god, no! my w--maria is gentle, and meek, and--" "ay, ay, maurry, i know!" hastily interrupted thomas. "i must see her for myself, so don't spoil the surprise for me, there's a good fellow! now have you breakfasted? no? then come upstairs with me. where's that rascal moggat? moggat! moggat! ah, there you are! go and prepare breakfast at once, man! and bring some more chocolate to my room." he wrapped the voluminous robe about him once more, and, seizing his brother by the arm, led him forth to the staircase. * * * * * thus it was that maurice jettan brought home his bride. she was a gentle lady, with a sweet disposition; she adored her handsome husband, and duly presented him with a son, philip. when the babe was shown to him, tom discovered that he was a true jettan, with all their characteristics. his father confessed that he saw no resemblance either to himself or to anyone, but he was nevertheless gratified by his brother's remarks. tom chuckled mightily and prophesied that young philip would prove himself a jettan in more ways than one. he hinted at a youth which should surpass his father's in brilliancy, and maurice smiled, looking proudly down at the red, crumpled face. "and," concluded tom, "he'll have a papa who can advise him in all matters of fashion better than any man i know. why, maurice, you will show him the fashionable world! you must take care you do not stagnate here. you must not fall out of society." maurice was still smiling down at his offspring. "no. i must not fall out, tom. the youngster will need me later on." * * * * * for five years he continued to take his place in london society, but he found that the desire for excitement and gaiety was growing less and less within him. the death of maria gave this desire the _coup de grã¢ce_. maurice took his small son down to the pride as soon as he had recovered from the first shock of bereavement, and after that for some years he rarely visited london, except sometimes to see his brother or his tailor. then he seemed to grow restless again, and started to spend more time with tom. bit by bit he re-entered the world he had quitted, yet never did he give himself up to it as once he had done. the pride seemed to call him, and little philip held his heart with both hands. thereafter he spent his time between london and the pride. when he felt restless, he packed his bags and flitted either to london or to paris; when the restlessness had passed, back he came to the pride, there to spend two or three peaceful months. when philip was eighteen, he took him to london. philip was very thoroughly bored. sir maurice concluded that he was too young to be introduced into society, and he sent him back to the country, thinking that in two or three years' time the lad would be only too anxious to leave it. but the years slipped by, and philip showed no desire to follow in his father's footsteps. he refused to go on the grand tour; he cared nothing for dress or fashionable manners; he despised the life of courts; he preferred to remain in the country, usurping, to a great extent, his father's position as squire. he was now some twenty-three years old, tall and handsome, but, as his father told his uncle, "an unpolished cub." two in which is presented mistress cleone charteris a while back i spoke of three gentlemen who built their homes round little fittledean. of one i said but little, of the second i spoke at length and to the tune of one whole chapter. it now behoves me to mention the third gentleman, who chose his site on the outskirts of the village, some two miles from jettan's pride, and to the east. to reach it you must walk along the main street until the cottages grow sparse and yet more sparse, and the cobblestones and pavement cease altogether. the street turns then into a lane with trees flanking it and grass growing to the sides. a few steps further, and the moss-covered roof of sharley house peeps above a high holly hedge which screens the place from the passer-by. there lived mr. charteris, and his father and grandfather before him. mr. charteris was the happy possessor of a wife and a daughter. it is with the daughter that i am most concerned. her name was cleone, and she was very lovely. she had thick gold curls, eyes of cornflower blue, and a pair of red lips that pouted or smiled in equal fascination. she was just eighteen, and the joy and despair of all the young men of the countryside. particularly was she the despair of mr. philip jettan. philip was head over ears in love with cleone. he had been so ever since she returned from the convent where she had received a slight education. before her departure for this convent, she and philip, james and jennifer winton, had played together and quarrelled together since any of them could walk. then cleone went away to acquire polish, and the two boys thought very little more about her, until she returned, and then they thought of nothing else but her. the romping playfellow was gone for ever, but in her place was a vision. philip and james began to eye one another askance. delighted by the new state of affairs, cleone queened it right royally, and played one young man against the other. but it was not long before she found herself thinking far more about mr. jettan than was seemly. he began to haunt her dreams, and when he came to visit the house her heart fluttered a little and showed a tendency to jump into her throat. cleone was stern with her heart, for there was much in mr. jettan that did not meet with her approval. however masterful and handsome he might be--and philip was both--he was distressingly boorish in many ways. before her return to sharley house cleone had spent a few months with her aunt, who lived in town. several men had made very elegant love to her and showered compliments about her golden head. she had not cared the snap of her fingers for any one of them, but their graceful homage was very gratifying. philip's speech was direct and purposeful, and his compliments were never neat. his clothes also left much to be desired. cleone had an eye for colour and style; she liked her cavaliers to be _ã  la mode_. sir matthew trelawney, for instance, had affected the most wonderful stockings, clocked with butterflies; frederick king wore so excellently fitting a coat that, it was said, he required three men to ease him into it. philip's coat was made for comfort; he would have scorned the stockings of matthew trelawney. he even refused to buy a wig, but wore his own brown hair brushed back from his face and tied loosely at his neck with a piece of black ribbon. no powder, no curls, unpolished nails, and an unpainted face--guiltless, too, of even the smallest patch--it was, thought cleone, enough to make one weep. nevertheless, she did not weep, because, for one thing, it would have made her eyes red, and another, it would be of very little use. philip must be reformed, since she--well, since she did not dislike him. at the present time philip had just returned from town, whither he had been sent by his father, ostensibly to transact some business concerning the estate, but really that his unfashionable soul might succumb to the delights of town. philip was not aware of this secret purpose, but cleone knew all about it. she was very fond of sir maurice, and he of her. when sir maurice saw which way philip looked for a wife, he was pleased enough, although a jettan might have cast his eyes much higher. but sir maurice, mindful of the old adage, was content to let things run their course. all that worried him was the apparent obduracy of his son in the matter of the first prophecy. he loved philip, he did not wish to lose him, he liked his companionship, but--"by god, sir, you are a damned dull dog!" at that young philip's straight brows drew close over the bridge of his nose, only to relax again as he smiled. "well, sir, i hold two gay dogs in the family to be enough." sir maurice's mouth quivered responsively. "what's that, philip? do you seek to reprove me?" "not a whit, sir. you are you, but i--am i." "so it seems," said his father. "and you being yourself have fallen in love with a mighty pretty child; still being yourself, you are like to be left disconsolate." philip had flushed slightly at the reference to cleone. the end of the sentence left him frowning. "what mean you, sir?" the shrewd grey eyes, so like his own, regarded him pityingly. "little mistress cleone will have none of you an you fail to mend your ways, my son. do you not know it? what has that dainty piece to do with a raw clodhopper like yourself?" philip answered low. "if mistress cleone gives me her love it will be for me as i am. she is worthy a man, not a powdered, ruffled beau." "a man! _sacrã© tonnerre_, 'tis what you are, _hein_? philip, child, get you to town to your uncle and buy a wig." "no, sir, i thank you. i shall do very well without a wig." sir maurice drove his cane downwards at the floor in exasperation. "_mille diables!_ you'll to town as i say, defiant boy! you may finish the business with that scoundrel jenkins while you are about it!" philip nodded. "that i will do, sir, since you wish it." "bah!" retorted his father. * * * * * he had gone; now he had come back, the business details settled to his satisfaction, but with no wig. sir maurice was pleased to see him again, more pleased than he appeared, as philip was well aware. he listened to what his son had to tell him of tom jettan, failed to glean any of the latest society gossip, and dismissed philip from his presence. half an hour later philip rode in at the gates of sharley house, sitting straight in his saddle, a pulse in his throat throbbing in anticipation. cleone saw him coming. she was seated in the parlour window, embroidering in a languid fashion. truth to tell, she was tired of her own company and not at all averse from seeing philip. as he passed the window she bent forward a little, smiling down at him. philip saw her at once; indeed, he had been eyeing every window of the warm, red house in the hope that she might be sitting in one. he reined in his horse and bowed to her, hat in hand. cleone opened the casement wider, leaning over the sill, her golden curls falling forward under the strings of her cap. "why, sir, are you back already?" she asked, dimpling. "already!" he echoed. "it has been years! ten years, cleone!" "pooh!" she said. "ten days--not a moment more!" "is that all it has seemed to you?" he said. cleone's cheek became faintly tinged with pink. "what more?" she retorted. "'tis all it is!" into philip's eyes came a gleam of triumph. "aha! you've counted, then! oh, cleone!" the roguish look fled. "oh!" cried cleone, pouting. "how--how--monstrous--" "monstrous what, dear cleone?" "impudent!" she ended. "i declare i won't see you!" as if to add weight to this statement, she shut the casement and moved away into the room. presently, however, she relented, and tripped downstairs to the withdrawing-room, where she found mr. jettan paying his respects to her mamma. she curtseyed very demurely, allowed him to kiss the tips of her fingers, and seated herself beside madam charteris. madam patted her hand. "well, child, here is philip returned from town with not a word to tell us of his gaiety!" cleone raised her eyes to survey philip. "mamma, there is naught to tell. philip is such a staid, sober person." "tut-tut!" said her mother. "now, philip, tell us all! did you not meet _one_ beauty to whom you lost your heart?" "no, madam," answered philip. "the painted society dames attract me not at all." his eyes rested on cleone as he spoke. "i dare say you've not yet heard the news?" cleone said, after a slight pause. "or did sir maurice tell you?" "no--that is, i do not know. what is it? good news?" "it remains to be seen," she replied. "'tis that mr. bancroft is to return! what think you of that?" philip stiffened. "bancroft? sir harold's son?" "yes, henry bancroft. is it not exciting? only think--he has been away nigh on eight years! why, he must be--" she began to count on her rosy-tipped fingers "--twenty-six, or twenty-seven. oh, a man! i do so wonder what he is like now!" "h'm!" remarked philip. his voice held no enthusiasm. "what does he want here?" cleone's long lashes fluttered down to hide the laugh in her eyes. "to see his papa, of course. after so many years!" philip gave vent to a sound very like a snort. "i'll wager there's a more potent reason! else had he come home ere now." "well, i will tell you. papa rode over to great fittledean two days ago, and he found sir harold mightily amused, did he not, mamma?" madam charteris assented vaguely. she was stitching at a length of satin, content to drop out of the conversation. "yes. it seems that henry--" "who?" philip straightened in his chair. "mr. bancroft," said cleone. a smile trembled on her lips. "it seems that mr. bancroft has had occasion to fight a duel. is it not too dreadful?" philip agreed with more heartiness than he had yet shown. "i am sure i do not know why gentlemen must fight. 'tis very terrible, i think. but, of course, 'tis monstrous gallant and exciting. and poor mr. bancroft has been advised to leave london for a while, because some great personage is angered. papa did not say who was the gentleman he fought, but sir harold was vastly amused." she glanced up at philip, in time to catch sight of the scornful frown on his face. "oh, philip, do _you_ know? have you perhaps heard?" "no one who has been in town this last week could fail to have heard," said philip shortly. then, very abruptly, he changed the subject. * * * * * when philip came back to the pride it was close on the dinner hour. he walked slowly upstairs to change his clothes, for on that point sir maurice was obdurate. he would not allow buckskins or riding-boots at his table. he himself was fastidious to a fault. every evening he donned stiff satins and velvets; his thin face was painted, powdered and patched; his wig tied with great precision in the nape of his neck. he walked now with a stick, but his carriage was still fairly upright. the stick was, as philip told him, a mere affectation. philip was rather silent during the first part of the meal, but when the lackeys left the room, and sir maurice pushed the port towards him, he spoke suddenly, as if the words had hovered on his tongue for some time. "father, do you hear that bancroft is to return?" sir maurice selected a nut from the dish before him, cracking it between his long, white fingers. "i believe someone told me. what of it?" "you said nothing of it to me." the grey eyes lifted. "is he a friend of yours? i did not know." "a friend!" philip set his glass down with a snap. "hardly, sir!" "now what's to do?" asked his father. "why the scorn?" "sir, if you could but hear the gossip about him!" "i have no doubt i should be vastly entertained," said sir maurice. "what's the tale?" "the fellow is for ever embroiling himself in some low quarrel. this time it is lady marchand. faugh!" "lady marchand? not dolly marchand?" "i believe so. why, sir, do you know her?" "i--er--knew her mother. tell me, is she as charming?" "as i know neither her mother, nor lady marchand--" sir maurice sighed. "no. of course not. go on." "it's a damned sordid tale, sir, and i'll spare you the details. lord marchand and bancroft fought out at ipswich. bancroft wounded him in the lung, and 'tis said he'll not recover." "clumsy," remarked sir maurice. "so bancroft retires?" "the prince of wales is furious, as well he might be. and bancroft brings himself and his morals here." a faint smile hovered on sir maurice's lips. "and mr. jettan is righteously indignant. from which i gather that mistress cleone is prepared to welcome this slayer of hearts. you'd best have bought a wig, philip." in spite of himself, philip laughed. "sir, you are incorrigible!" "_faute de mieux._ and whence, if i may ask, did you glean all this--sordid information, oh my righteous son?" "from tom, of course. he could talk of nothing else." "alack! the saint is still upon his pedestal. in fact, the story was forced upon you. philip, you enrage me." he looked up and met his son's amused glance. "yes, child, i am enraged. pass the wine." philip pushed the decanter towards him. his rather stern eyes were twinkling. "i'll swear no one ever before possessed so outrageous a sire," he said. "i've heard of some who disinherited their sons for disreputable behaviour, but it seems you are like to disinherit me for irreproachable conduct." "it's a _piquante_ situation," agreed sir maurice. "but i shan't disinherit you." "no?" "where's the use? with no money you could not hope to--ah--follow in my footsteps. i've a mind to turn you out of the house, though." "half a mind," corrected philip. "the other half, sir, rejoices in my unblemished reputation." "does it?" sir maurice was mildly interested. "faith, i did not know that." "sir, were i to break away and become as flighty as you wish, no one would be more aghast than yourself." "you infer, my son, that i desire you to follow not in my footsteps, but in--let us say, bancroft's. nothing could more thoroughly disgust me." "ah!" philip leaned forward eagerly. "you admit that?" sir maurice sipped his wine. "certainly. i abhor clumsiness in an _affaire_." he watched philip draw back. "an _affaire_ of the heart should be daintily conducted. a jettan should bear in mind that for him there can be only one love; the others," he waved his hand, "should be treated with the delicacy that they deserve. above all, they should end lightly. i would have no woman the worse for you, child, but i would have you know women and the world. i would have you experience the pleasures and the displeasures of polite society; i would have you taste the joys of hazard, and the exhilaration of your sword against another's; i would have you take pains in the selection of a cravat, or the designing of a vest; i would have you learn the way to turn a neat compliment and a pretty phrase; above all, i would have you know yourself, your fellow-men, and the world." he paused, studying his son. then he smiled. "well? what have you to say to my peroration?" philip answered simply, and in admiration. "why, sir, that i am spellbound by your fluency. in truth, father, you have a remarkably beautiful voice." "bah!" snapped sir maurice. three mr. bancroft brings trouble into little fittledean on a particularly sunny morning, some five or six days after mr. jettan's return from london town, the main street of little fittledean was made brighter still by the passage of an apparition. the apparition wore a coat of palest apricot cloth, with a flowered vest of fine brocade, and startling white small-clothes. red-heeled shoes were on his feet, and his stockings were adorned by sprawling golden clocks. he carried an amber-clouded cane and a jewelled snuff-box, while ever and anon he raised a cobwebby handkerchief to his aristocratic nose. he minced down the street towards the market-place, followed by the awe-stricken glances of an amazed population. the inhabitants of the village had never seen anything so wonderful or so remarkable as this gorgeous gentleman. they watched the high red heels click along the road, and admired the beautiful set of the apparition's coat. a group of children stopped playing to stare, open-mouthed. the apparition heeded them not. it may have been that he was oblivious of their existence. not even when a piping treble requested "john" to "look'ee now at them shoes!" did he show that he realised the presence of anyone but himself in the village. he minced on, very languid, and suitably bored. further down the street a gentleman had reined in his horse to speak to a curtseying dame, who plucked shyly at her apron, smiling up at him. presently he, too, became aware of the sound of clicking heels. even as the buxom dame gazed past him with wide eyes, he looked up and saw the apparition. i would not have you think that the apparition noticed him. on he went, swinging his cane and yawning. sir maurice turned in his saddle the better to see those pearly small-clothes. his horse cocked both ears inquiringly and blew down his nostrils. "well, i'm damned!" said sir maurice beneath his breath. "puppy!" mr. bancroft proceeded leisurely towards the market-place. he was very, very bored, and he had walked over from great fittledean in search of possible amusement. he almost despaired of finding it, but fate favoured him. crossing the market-place, a basket on her arm and a very becoming hat tied over her curls, was mistress cleone. she was tripping along quite unconcernedly, her cheeks just tinged with colour, and her big eyes bluer than ever. mr. bancroft lost a little of his languor. it might almost be said that his eye brightened. cleone was coming towards him, and it was markedly evident that mr. bancroft made no attempt to step aside. on the contrary, he appeared to be engrossed in the contemplation of a cat right away on his left. cleone was peeping inside her basket; she did not perceive mr. bancroft until she had walked into him. then she gave a startled cry, fell back, and stared. mr. bancroft was profuse in his apologies. he swept off his hat and made her a low bow, sinking back and back on his bent left leg. "oh!" gasped cleone, becomingly flustered. "gracious! is it you, mr. bancroft?" mr. bancroft said that it was. he was very modest about it, and he dubbed himself a clodhopping oaf so to have discommoded cleone. cleone dimpled, curtseyed, and prepared to go on her way. this, however, mr. bancroft would not allow. he insisted on taking her basket, which, he protested, was monstrous heavy for her fair hands to support. cleone looked up at him provocatively. "sir, i fear i am a stranger to you!" "a stranger! why, madam, is it likely that once i had seen i could ever forget your sweet face?" cried mr. bancroft. "those blue eyes, madam, left a deep imprint on my soul; those soft lips--" "but," interrupted cleone, blushing, "my name escaped your memory. confess, mr. bancroft, it is indeed so?" mr. bancroft waved his handkerchief with a superb gesture. "a name--bah! what is it? 'tis the face that remains with me. names do, indeed, escape me. how could a mere name conjure up this fair image?" he bowed slightly. "your name should be venus, madam." "sir!" cleone was shocked. "i am cleone charteris, mr. bancroft," she said primly. mr. bancroft was quite equal to the occasion. "my dear," he said fondly, "do you think i did not know it?" cleone shook her head. "you did not know it. and, indeed, i am prodigiously hurt and offended that you should have forgot me." "forgot you?" mr. bancroft was derisive. "forget the little nymph who so tormented me in my youth? fie on you, madam!" "oh, i did not! how can you say so, sir? 'twas you who were always so provoking! do you remember how we played? you and jennifer and i and philip--oh, and james." "the games i remember," he answered. "but jennifer, no. and who are philip and james?" "you've a monstrous short memory," reproved cleone. "of course you remember philip jettan?" "how could i hope to remember anyone but your fair self?" he protested. "could i be sensible of another's presence when you were there?" cleone giggled. she found mr. bancroft's compliments very entertaining and novel. "you are quite ridiculous, sir. and this is my home." "alas!" sighed mr. bancroft. "i would it were a mile away." he opened the gate and held it for her, bowing. "may i pay my respects to madam charteris?" he begged. "if you please, sir," said cleone, eyes cast down. they found madam in the hall, speaking to one of the servants. when she saw the resplendent mr. bancroft she gasped, and fell back a pace. bancroft stepped forward, hat in hand. "i dare not hope for recognition, madam," he bowed. "henry bancroft begs you will allow him to kiss your hand." madam charteris extended it weakly. "henry bancroft? gracious heaven, is it indeed you?" bancroft kissed the tips of her fingers, holding them lightly to his mouth with two fingers and a thumb. "i met mistress cleone in the market-place," he told her. "conceive my surprise, madam, my joyful ecstasy!" "indeed!" stammered madam. "in the market-place--to be sure." "mr. bancroft was so kind as to relieve me of my basket," explained her daughter. "he pretends that he had not forgot me, mamma! but he cannot deceive me." "he never sought to deceive you, mistress cleone. he spoke sooth when he said your image had remained with him throughout." "take him into the garden, cleone," begged madam. "he will wish to see your papa." it had not occurred to mr. bancroft, but he swallowed it with a good grace. "will you conduct me thither, mistress cleone?" he bowed, one arm extended. cleone laid the tips of her fingers on the arm. "certainly, sir. we shall find papa among the roses." they walked to the door. "the roses!" sighed mr. bancroft. "a fit setting for your beauty, dear cleone." cleone gave a little gurgle of laughter. "'tis papa's beauty they frame, sir, not mine," she replied. twenty minutes later sir maurice walked into the rose-garden to find bancroft and cleone seated in an arbour engaged in close converse, while mr. charteris nipped off the dead flowers nearby. mr. charteris welcomed his visitor with a wave of his large scissors. "good day, sir maurice! what a very pleasant, warm day it is, to be sure! did you ride over to see us?" sir maurice drew him apart. "i met that--that rainbow in the village. what a plague is it? what does he do here?" mr. charteris' chubby countenance was wreathed in a great, sly smile, suspiciously like a grin. "have you ever seen aught to equal it?" he chuckled. "'tis young bancroft--in seclusion." "i guessed as much. in seclusion, is he? puppy!" mr. charteris held up his hands. "oh, but sir maurice! a mighty soft-spoken youth--a polished gentleman, i assure you." "polished coxcomb!" snapped sir maurice. "confound his impudence!" he turned and walked towards the arbour. cleone rose and came forward. "why, sir maurice! i did not see you!" sir maurice raised both her hands to his lips. "you were otherwise engaged, my dear. will you present your cavalier?" cleone frowned upon him. "sir maurice--! this is mr. bancroft, sir. mr. bancroft, sir maurice jettan." mr. bancroft's hat swept the ground. his powdered head was bent. "i am delighted to renew my acquaintance with you, sir." sir maurice inclined his head. "i hear you intend to honour fittledean for some few weeks?" he said. an inward laugh seemed to shake him. "you must meet my son, philip." "nothing could give me more pleasure," bancroft assured him. "i shall hope to do so at once. i am transported to meet such old friends, and to find that one"--he bowed to cleone--"had not forgot me." "h'm!" said sir maurice cryptically. suddenly he smiled upon the younger man. "i have ridden over to beg mr. charteris to honour me at dinner on wednesday--" "delighted, delighted!" nodded charteris, who had joined them. "--with madam and cleone. you'll come, my dear? i have already spoken to your mamma." cleone slipped her hand in his arm. "why, it's very kind of you, sir maurice. thank you very much." he patted the little hand. then he again transferred his attention to mr. bancroft. "i trust you too will honour us, sir?" "it is prodigious amiable of you, sir. i hasten to accept. on wednesday, i think you said? with all the pleasure on earth!" "cleone, my dear, give me your arm as far as that rose-bush. you shall choose me a button-hole, if you will. no, no, charteris, with her own fair fingers!" he bore cleone away to the other end of the garden, leaving mr. bancroft disconsolate. when they were out of hearing sir maurice looked down into the roguish blue eyes. "my dear, you are a minx." cleone dimpled charmingly. "i don't know why you should say so, sir." "of course not," agreed sir maurice. "now what is the game? it's to make philip jealous, eh?" "sir! how can you?" "my love, i know all about you, for i am an old man. make philip jealous by all means." "i'm sure i never--" "of course not. but i think, with you, that it would be a very good plan. the boy is too stolid and cock-sure." "cock--oh, indeed!" "so if you shake philip up from his toes to his head--you'll earn a father's blessing." cleone controlled a trembling lip. "sir--you are--a very naughty--conspirator." "we'll leave it at that," said sir maurice. "now choose me a rose, little witch. gad, if i were ten years younger i'd make philip jealous myself!" cleone tip-toed, her hands on his shoulders. "you are very, very wicked," she told him gravely. sir maurice kissed her. "so are you, minx, and i want you for my daughter. we are so well suited." cleone blushed fiery red and hid her face in his coat. * * * * * sir maurice rode home wrapped in thought. now and again he chuckled softly to himself, but when later he met his son he was as solemn as ever. philip came into the library, riding-whip in hand. he had been on the fields all the morning, and sir maurice eyed his boots with disfavour. philip sank into a chair. "two of the big meadows are cut, sir. we should finish by next week." he glanced anxiously out of the window. "i hope the rain holds off." "oh, it will," replied his father placidly. "i am not so sure. last summer the hay was black. did you--er--did you ride into the village?" "i did." "and--and did you go to--sharley house?" "ay." "are they--did they accept?" philip played with his whip, feigning unconcern. "they did. i met that fellow bancroft." "oh!" said philip. "where?" "in the rose-garden," yawned sir maurice. the whip fell to the ground. "what? in the rose-garden? whose rose-garden?" "at sharley house, of course." "where--was--what was he doing there?" "he was sitting in the arbour, talking to cleone." "confound him!" growled philip, as if his worst fears were realised. "what's he like?" sir maurice glanced across at him. "he is about your height--perhaps a little taller. he--ah--seems to have a soft tongue and an engaging manner." "oh, has he?" philip's voice was startlingly grim. "he and cleone were renewing their old friendship." "oh, were they? what old friendship? he was never our friend!" "no, i suppose not," said sir maurice innocently. "he is some six or seven years older than you, is he not?" "five!" said philip emphatically. "only five? of course, he looks and seems older, but he has seen more of the world, which accounts for it." to this philip vouchsafed no answer at all, but he looked at his father with some suspicion. sir maurice allowed two or three minutes to elapse before he spoke again. "by the way, philip, bancroft dines with us on wednesday." up sprang philip in great annoyance. "what's that, sir? dines here, and on wednesday? surely you did not invite the fellow?" "but i did," answered sir maurice blandly. "why not?" "why not? what do we want with him?" "it remains to be seen." sir maurice hid a smile. "bancroft is most desirous of meeting you." philip made a sound betwixt a grunt and a snort. "more like he wishes to pursue his acquaintance with cl--mistress cleone," he retorted. "well, she's a pretty piece," said his father. philip glared at him. "if i find him annoying cleone with his damned officious attentions, i'll--i'll--" "oh, i do not think she is annoyed," replied sir maurice. at that philip stalked out of the room, leaving his father a prey to indecent mirth. four the trouble comes to a head at half-past five on wednesday mr. henry bancroft was ushered into the withdrawing-room at the pride. he was, as he had intended he should be, the last to arrive. sir maurice stood in front of the empty grate, talking to mr. charteris; madam sat on a couch, her daughter beside her, and philip nearby. they all looked up as mr. bancroft was announced, and philip rose, for the first time in his life acutely conscious of an ill-fitting coat and unpowdered hair. mr. bancroft was a dream of lilac and rose. he might have been dressed for a ball, thought cleone. diamonds and rubies flashed from his buckles, and from his cravat; a diamond clasp was above the riband that tied his wig. he minced forward daintily and bowed, one be-ringed hand over his heart. sir maurice came forward, very stately in black with touches of purple. "ah, mr. bancroft! i need not present you to the ladies, i know." he paused to allow bancroft to throw a languishing glance towards the couch. "i think you and my son are not altogether unknown to one another?" bancroft turned on his heel to face philip. he bowed again, slightly flourishing his handkerchief. "my playmate of long ago," he murmured. "your very obedient, mr. jettan." philip returned the bow awkwardly. "i am very pleased to meet you again, sir," he said, determined to be polite to this most obnoxious guest. "do you--er--intend to make a long stay?" bancroft raised his shoulders and spread out his hands. "i had thought not, sir, but now"--another glance was cast at cleone--"i think--perhaps--!" he smiled, running quick, appraising eyes over philip's person. "do you know, sir, i swear i'd not have known you. you have grown prodigiously." cleone broke into the conversation. "you were so much older than philip or james or me, mr. bancroft!" instantly he swept round. "i thank you for the past tense, mistress cleone! at least, i am no longer so aged." "why, sir, have you lost your years?" she asked. "in your company, yes, madam. can you wonder?" "oh, i am monstrous flattered, sir!" cleone spread out her fan and held it before her face. "not flattered, mistress cleone; justly appreciated." "la!" said madam charteris. "how can you say such things, mr. bancroft? i declare you will make my daughter vain!" "vanity, madam, mates not with such beauty as that of your daughter," he retaliated. to the right he could see philip, glowering, and his mischievous soul laughed. then sir maurice claimed his attention, and he turned away. philip walked to the couch and stood behind it, resting his arm on the back. he leaned over cleone with an air of possession. "pranked out mummer!" he muttered in her ear. cleone smiled up at him. "why, sir, are you at variance with him in the matter of my looks?" she asked, and thereby bereft him of speech. her smile turned to a look of reproach. "'tis your cue, sir; am i to be slighted?" a dull red crept to the roots of philip's hair. he spoke lower still. "you know--what i think of you, cleone. i cannot--mouth what i feel--in pretty phrases." a strangely tender light came into her eyes. "you might try, philip," she said. "what, here? not i! i am not one to sing your charms in public." he laughed shortly. "so that is what you desire?" the tender light died. "no, sir. i desire you will not lean so close. you inconvenience me." philip straightened at once, but he still stood behind her. bancroft met his eyes and was quick to read the challenge they held. he smiled, twirling his eyeglass. when dinner was announced, cleone was talking to bancroft. it was but natural that he should offer her his arm, but to philip it seemed a most officious, impudent action. sir maurice led madam charteris into the dining-room; mr. charteris and philip brought up the rear. from philip's point of view the meal was not a success. seated side by side, cleone and bancroft exchanged a flood of conversation. philip, at the foot of the table, had on his right mr. bancroft, and on his left mr. charteris. to the latter he made grave conversation. occasionally bancroft dragged him into a discussion; once or twice madam charteris and sir maurice appealed to him. but cleone seemed unaware of his existence. she was very gay, too; her eyes sparkled and shone, her cheeks were faintly flushed. she answered mr. bancroft's sallies with delightful little laughs and applause. as the dinner proceeded, philip was made to feel more than ever his own shortcomings. when he looked at mr. bancroft's white hands with their highly polished nails, and many rings, he compared them with his strong brown ones, tanned and--coarse? covertly he inspected them; no, they were better hands than that nincompoop's, but his nails ... bah! only fops such as this puppy polished their nails!... the lilac satin of mr. bancroft's coat shimmered in the light of the candles. how tightly it fitted him across the shoulders! how heavily it was laced, and how full were its skirts! a coat for a drawing-room! unconsciously philip squared his shoulders. all that foaming lace ... more suited to a woman than to a man. the quizzing-glass ... abominable affectation! the jewels ... flaunting them in the country! patched and painted, mincing, prattling puppy-dog! how could cleone bear him so near, with his fat, soft hands, and his person reeking of some sickly scent?... now he was talking of town and its allure, toying with the names of first one celebrity and then another. and cleone drinking in the silly, smug talk!... now hints at conquests made--veiled allusions to his own charms. ape!--truckling, overdressed ape! suddenly philip wanted to throw his glass at bancroft. he choked down the mad impulse, and strove to listen to mr. charteris. back in the withdrawing-room again it was worse. sir maurice asked cleone to sing, and she went to the spinet. bancroft followed, to choose her music, to turn the pages, to gaze at her in frank admiration. damn him, damn him, damn him! * * * * * the party came to an end at last; philip was alone with his father. sir maurice leaned his chin in his hand, watching him amusedly. for a long while philip said nothing, but presently he brought his eyes away from the window and looked at his father. "and that," he said bitingly, "is what you would have me. a conceited, painted puppy, fawning and leering on every woman that crosses his path!" "not at all." sir maurice took out his snuff-box and opened it. "'tis the last thing in the world i would have you." "you said--" "i said i would have you a very perfect gentleman, knowing the world and its ways." "well?--" "you perhaps conceive mr. bancroft a perfect gentleman?" "not i! 'tis you who--" sir maurice raised one delicate hand. "pardon me! you choose to assume that i thought it. mr. bancroft is, as you so truly remark, a conceited, painted puppet. but he apes, so far as he is able, the thing that i am; that i wish you to become. you are a country-bumpkin, my dear; he is a coddled doll. strive to become something betwixt the two." "i had sooner be what i am!" "which is a conceited oaf." "sir!" sir maurice rose, leaning on his cane. "remain what you are, my son, but bethink you--which will cleone prefer? him who gives her graceful homage, and charms her ears with honeyed words, or him who is tongue-tied before her, who is careless of his appearance, and who treats her, not as a young and beautiful girl, but as his inevitable possession?" philip answered quickly. "cleone, sir, will--give herself where she pleases, but she is not one to over-rate the tricks of such as bancroft." "or to under-rate the discomforts of tying herself to one who is tied to the soil and his own pleasure," said sir maurice softly. the grey eyes met his, a trifle hurt. "i am selfish, father? because i will not become the thing i despise?" "and narrow, philip, to despise what you do not know." "thank you!" the young voice was exceedingly bitter. "i am to be a painted popinjay! i tell you, sir, cleone must take me as i am." "or leave you as you are," said sir maurice gently. "a warning, sir?" "that's for you to judge, child. and now i'll to bed." he paused, looking at his son. philip went to him. "good night, sir." sir maurice smiled, holding out his hand. "good night, my son." philip kissed his fingers. followed a week of disturbing trivialities. mr. bancroft was more often in little fittledean than at home, and most often at sharley house. he there met philip, not once, but many times, hostile and possessive. he laughed softly, and sought to engage philip in a war of wits, but philip's tongue was stiff and reluctant. so mr. bancroft made covert sport of him and renewed his attentions to cleone. cleone herself was living in a strange whirl. there was much in mr. bancroft that displeased her; i do not think she ever had it in her mind to wed him, which was perhaps fortunate, as mr. bancroft certainly had it not in his. but homage is grateful to women, and ardent yet dainty love-making fascinating to the young. she played with mr. bancroft, but thought no less of philip. yet philip contrived to irritate her. his air of ownership, his angry, reproachful looks, fired the spirit of coquetry within her. mastery thrilled her, but a mastery that offered to take all, giving nothing, annoyed her. that philip loved her to distraction, she knew; also she knew that philip would expect her to bend before his will. he would not change, it would be she who must conform to his pleasure. philip was determined to remain as he was, faithful but dull. she wanted all that he despised: life, gaiety, society, and frivolity. she weighed the question carefully, a little too carefully for a maid in love. she wanted philip and she did not want him. as he was, she would have none of him; as she wished him to be, he might have her. but for the present she was no man's, and no man had the right to chide her. philip had made a mistake in his wooing in showing her how much his own he thought her. all unwitting, he was paving the way to his own downfall. despite the lisping conceit of mr. bancroft, his polished phrases and his elegancy when compared with philip's brusqueness threw philip in the shade. mr. bancroft could taunt and gibe at philip, sure of triumph; philip tied his tongue in knots and relapsed into silence, leaving mr. bancroft to shine in his victory. the man cleone chose to wed must be a match for all, with words or swords. cleone continued to smile upon mr. bancroft. at the end of the week the trouble came to a head. in the garden of sharley house, before cleone, mr. bancroft threw veiled taunts at philip, and very thinly veiled sneers. he continued to hold the younger man's lack of polish up to scorn, always smiling and urbane. cleone recognised the gleam in philip's eye. she was a little frightened and sought to smooth over the breach. but when she presently retired to the house, philip arrested mr. bancroft, who was following. "a word with you, sir." bancroft turned, brows raised, lips curled almost sneeringly. philip stood very straight, shoulders squared. "you have seen fit to mock at me, sir--" "i?" interpolated bancroft languidly. "my dear sir!" "--and i resent it. there is that in your manner to which i object." bancroft's brows rose higher. "to--which--you--object...." he echoed softly. "i trust i make myself clear?" snapped philip. bancroft raised his eyeglass. through it he studied philip from his toes to his head. "is it possible that you want satisfaction?" he drawled. "more than that," retorted philip. "it is certain." once again he was scrutinised. mr. bancroft's smile grew. "i do not fight with schoolboys," he said. the colour flooded philip's face. "perhaps because you are afraid," he said quickly, guarding his temper. "perhaps," nodded bancroft. "yet i have not the reputation of a coward." swift as a hawk philip pounced. "you have, sir, as i well know, the reputation of a libertine!" it was bancroft's turn to flush. "i--beg--your--pardon?" "it is necessary," bowed philip, enjoying himself now for the first time in many days. "you--impudent boy!" gasped bancroft. "i would sooner be that, sir, than an impudent, painted puppy." under his powder bancroft was fiery red. "i see you will have it, mr. jettan. i will meet you when and where you will." philip patted his sword-hilt, and bancroft observed for the first time that he was wearing a sword. "i have noticed, mr. bancroft, that you habitually don your sword. so i took the precaution of wearing mine. 'when' is now, and 'where' is yonder!" he pointed above the hedge that encircled the garden to the copse beyond. it was a very fine theatrical effect, and he was pleased with it. bancroft sneered at him. "a trifle countrified, mr. jettan. do you propose to dispense with such needless formalities as seconds?" "i think we can trust each other," said philip grandly. "then pray lead the way," bowed bancroft. what followed was not so fine. bancroft was proficient in the art of the duello; philip had never fought in his life. fencing had never interested him, and sir maurice had long since despaired of teaching him anything more than the rudiments. however, he was very angry and very reckless, while bancroft thought to play with him. he thrust so wildly and so insanely that bancroft was taken unawares and received a fine slash across the arm. after that he fenced more carefully, and in a very short time pinked philip neatly and artistically above the elbow of his sword arm. as philip's blade wavered and fell, he wiped his own on his handkerchief, sheathed it, and bowed. "let this be a lesson to you, sir," he said, and walked away before philip could pick up his sword. twenty minutes later philip walked into the hall of sharley house, a handkerchief tied tightly round his arm, and asked for mistress cleone. on being told that she was in the parlour, he stalked in upon her. cleone's eyes flew to his crooked arm. "oh!" she cried, and half rose. "what--what have you done? you are hurt!" "it is less than nothing, i thank you," replied philip. "i want you to answer me plainly, cleone. what is that fellow to you?" cleone sat down again. her eyes flashed; philip was nearer than ever to his downfall. "i entirely fail to understand you, sir," she answered. "do you love that--that prancing ninny?" asked philip. "i consider such a question an--an impertinence!" cried cleone. "what right have you to ask me such a thing?" philip's brows met across the bridge of his nose. "you do love him?" "no, i don't! i mean--oh, how dare you?" philip came closer. the frown faded. "cleone--do you--could you--love me?" cleone was silent. closer still came philip, and spoke rather huskily. "will you--marry me, cleone?" still silence, but the blue eyes were downcast. "cleone," blundered philip, "you--don't want a--mincing, powdered--beau." "i do not want a--a--raw--country-bumpkin," she said cruelly. philip drew himself up. "that is what you think me, cleone?" something in his voice brought tears to her eyes. "i--no--i--oh, philip, i _could_ not marry you as you are!" "no?" philip spoke very evenly. "but if i became--your ideal--you could marry me?" "i--oh, you should not--ask such questions!" "as i am--you'll none of me. you do not want--an honest man's love. you want the pretty compliments of a doll. if i will learn to be--a doll--you'll wed me. well, i will learn. you shall not be--annoyed--by an honest man's love--any longer. i will go to london--and one day i'll return. farewell, cleone." "oh--goodness--are you--going to town?" she gasped. "since that is your desire, yes," he answered. she held out her hand, and when he kissed it her fingers clung for an instant. "come back to me, philip," she whispered. he bowed, still holding her hand, and then, without a word, released it, and marched out, very dignified. it was another fine tragic effect, but cleone, when the door closed behind him, broke into an hysterical laugh. she was rather amazed, and a little apprehensive. five in which philip finds that his uncle is more sympathetic than his father home went philip, a prey to conflicting emotions. he was angry with cleone, and hurt at what he termed her fickleness, but she was very lovely, and still wholly desirable. never until now had he realised how necessary she was to his happiness. she would not marry him unless he reformed, learned to behave like bancroft--that was what she meant. she did not love him as he was; she wanted polish, and frills and furbelows. philip's lips tightened. she should have them--but he was very, very angry. then he thought of his father, and the anger grew. what right had these two to seek to change him into something that was utterly insincere, trifling, and unmanly? his father would be rejoiced to hear that he was going "to become a gentleman." even he had no use for philip as he was. well, they should have what they wanted--and then perhaps they would be sorry. in a wave of self-pity he considered how dearly he loved these two people. he wanted neither to change, he loved them for what they were; but they.... he felt very sore and ill-used. something else there was that troubled him. he had set about the task of punishing mr. bancroft, and mr. bancroft had ended by punishing him. no pleasant thought, that. bancroft was master not only of words but of swords; he, philip, was master of neither. he brooded over the question, chafed and irritable. and so came home to sir maurice. he found him seated on the terrace, reading juvenal. sir maurice, glancing up, observed philip's sling. he said nothing, but his eyes gleamed an instant. philip threw himself down upon a bench. "well, sir, bancroft and i have met." "i thought it would come," nodded his father. "i'm no match for him. he--pinked me with some ease." again sir maurice nodded. "also"--philip spoke with difficulty--"cleone--will have none of me--as i am." he looked across at his father with some bitterness. "as you prophesied, sir, she prefers the attentions of such as bancroft." "and so--?" philip was silent. "and so mr. jettan withdraws from the lists. very fine," added sir maurice. "have i said so, sir?" philip spoke sharply. "cleone desires a beau--she shall have one! i have told her that i shall not come to her until i am what--she thinks--is her desire! i will show her and you that i am not the dull-witted bumpkin you think me, fit for nothing better than"--he mimicked his father's tone--"to till the earth! i'll learn to be the painted fop you'd like to see me! neither you nor she shall be offended longer by the sight of me as i am!" "now, here's a heat!" remarked sir maurice. "so you'll to london, boy? to your uncle?" philip shrugged. "as well to him as any other. i care not." "that's the wrong spirit for your emprise," said sir maurice, a laugh in his eyes. "you must enter into your venture heart and soul." philip flung out his arm. "my heart's here, sir, at home!" "it's also at sharley house," said his father dryly, "or why do you go to london?" "ay, it's there! and i have the felicity of knowing that cleone cares not one snap of her fingers for me! she trifles with me, and makes sport of me for her amusement!" "tra-la-la-la!" said sir maurice. "then why go to london?" "to show her that i am not the brainless oaf she thinks me!" answered philip, and marched off. sir maurice returned to juvenal. not until his arm was healed did philip set forth to london town. he parted amicably enough from his father, who gave him much advice, many introductions, and his blessing. cleone he did not see at all, but when he had gone she went up to the pride and held sir maurice's hand very tightly. she shed a few tears; also she laughed a little. as for sir maurice--well, he chided himself for a sentimental old fool, but with philip's departure had come a void which could only be filled by philip's return. * * * * * tom was breakfasting when his nephew was announced. it was noon, but tom had spent a strenuous night. philip walked into the room, under the gloomy eye of moggat, travel-stained and stiff from the saddle. he was quite unexpected, but his uncle showed no surprise at seeing him. "well met, philip, my boy! what's to do now?" philip sank into a chair. "i'll tell you when i'm fed," he grinned. "that sirloin pleases my eye." "not an artistic colour," said tom, studying it, "but appetising, i grant you." "artistic be damned!" said philip, attacking it. then he frowned. "h'm! no, tom, 'tis a displeasing blend--red and brown." tom looked at him in surprise. "what's colour to you, philip?" "naught, god help me," answered philip, and fell to with a will. "i echo that sentiment," said tom. "how does your father?" "well enough; he sends you his love." tom thereupon buried himself in the mass of correspondence that lay by his plate. when he came to the end, philip had finished his repast. tom pushed back his chair. "well, philip, what brings you here? moggat, you rascal, away with you!" philip waited until the door had closed upon moggat's reluctant back. "i've--to learn to be--a gentleman," he said. tom stared at him. then he burst out laughing. "god ha' mercy, philip, has it come to that?" "i do not take your meaning," said philip crossly. "what! it's not a petticoat?" "tom, i'll thank you to--to--be quiet!" tom choked his laughter. "oh, i'm dumb! how do you propose to set about the task?" "'tis what i want to know, tom." "and i'm to teach you?" philip hesitated. "is it perhaps--a thing i can best learn alone?" he asked, surprisingly diffident. "what is it exactly you want to learn?" "to become a gentleman. have i not said it?" "odd rot, what are ye now?" philip's lips curled. "i have it on the best authority, tom, that i am a clumsy, witless clodhopper." his uncle regarded him with some kindliness. "little vixen," he remarked sapiently. "i beg your pardon?" philip was cold. "not at all," said tom hastily. "so maurice has been at you again, eh? now, philip, lad, come off your pinnacle and be sensible, for god's sake! what do ye want?" "i want, or rather, they--he--wants me to learn how to dress, how to walk across a room, how to play with words, how to make love to women, how to bow, how to--" "oh, stop, stop!" cried tom. "i have the whole picture! and it's no easy task, my boy. it will take you years to learn." "why, i trust you're pessimistic, sir," said philip, "for i intend to acquire all these arts--within a year." "well, i like your spirit," acknowledged tom. "take some more ale, lad, and let me have the whole story." this advice philip saw fit to follow. in a very short time he found that he had unburdened his sore heart to an astonishingly sympathetic uncle. tom forbore to laugh--although now and then he was seized by an inward paroxysm which he had much ado to choke down. when philip came to the end of his recital and stared gloomily across at him, he tapped his teeth with one polished finger-nail and looked exceeding wise. "my opinion is, philip, that you are the best of all us jettans, but that's neither here nor there. now it seems to me that the folk at home don't appreciate your sterling qualities--" "oh, 'tis not my qualities they object to! 'tis my lack of vice." "don't interrupt my peroration, lad. they think you a noble--what was the word you used?--clodhopper. 'tis marvellously apt. they doubt your ability to shine in society. 'tis for us to prove them to be mistaken. you must surprise them." "i doubt i shall," said philip, with the glimmering of a smile. tom was wrapped in thought; his eyes ran over his nephew's form appraisingly. "ye've a fine figure, and good legs. your hands?" philip extended them, laughing. "um! a little attention, and i'd not wish to see better. like all the jettans, you are passable of countenance, not to say handsome." "am i?" philip was startled. "i never knew that before!" "then ye know it now. you're the spit of your father in his young days. gad, what days they were! before i grew fat," he added sadly. "but i wander, i wander. maurice and the petticoat--what's the girl's name?" "i don't see why you should assu--" "don't be a fool, lad! it's that fair chit, eh? charlotte--no, damn it, some heathenish name!" "cleone," supplied philip, submitting. "ay, that's it--cleone. well, maurice and cleone think that ye'll gain a little polish and some style. what you must do is excel. excel!" "i doubt i could not," said philip. "and, indeed, i've no mind to." "then i've done with you." tom leaned back in his chair with an air of finality. "no, no, tom! you must help me!" a stern eye was fixed on him. "ye must put yourself in my hands, then." "ay, but--" "completely," said tom inexorably. philip collapsed. "oh, very well!" the round, good-tempered face lost its unaccustomed severity. tom was again wrapped in thought. "paris," he said at length, to the bewilderment of his nephew. "you must go there," he explained. philip was horrified. "what! i? to paris? never!" "then i wash my--" "but, tom, consider! i know so little french!" "the more reason." "but--but--damn it, i say i will not!" tom yawned. "as ye will." philip became more and more unhappy. "why should i go to paris?" he growled. "you're like a surly bear," reproved tom. "where else would you go?" "can't i--surely i can learn all i want here?" "ay, and have all your friends nudging each other as you transform from what you are to what you are to become!" philip had not thought of that. he relapsed into sulky silence. "to paris," resumed tom, "within the week. luckily, you've more money than is good for you. you've no need to pinch and scrape. i'll take you, clothe you, and introduce you." philip brightened. "will you? that's devilish good of you, tom!" "it is," agreed tom. "but i dare swear i'll find entertainment there." he chuckled. "and not a word to your father or to anyone. you'll vanish, and when you reappear no one will know you." this dazzling prospect did not appear to allure philip. he sighed heavily. "i suppose i must do it. but--" he rose and walked to the window. "it's all that i despise and that i detest. mere love--does not suffice. well, we shall see." he thrust his hands deep in his pockets. "the thing they want me to be is neither noble nor estimable. they--he--they--don't care what may be a man's reputation or his character! he must speak them softly, and charm their ears with silly compliments, and their eyes with pretty silks and satins. naught else is of consequence. faugh!" "ay, you're taking it hard," nodded his uncle. "but they're all the same, lad--bless 'em!" "i thought--this one--was different." "more fool you," said tom cynically. six the beginning of the transformation philip stood in the middle of the floor, expostulating. a sleek valet was kneeling before him, coaxing his gold-clocked stockings over the knee of his small-clothes, and a middle-aged exquisite was arranging his mechlin cravat for the seventh time, a frown crinkling his forehead, and french oaths proceeding from his tinted lips. mr. thomas jettan was giving the nails of philip's right hand a last, lingering polish. and philip, supremely miserable, expostulated in vain. franã§ois sat back on his heels and eyed philip's legs adoringly. "but of an excellence, m'sieur! so perfect a calf, m'sieur! so vairy fine a laig," he explained in english. philip tried to squint down at them, and was rewarded by an impatient exclamation from the gentleman who was wrestling with his cravat. "_tais--toi, imbã©cile!_ 'ow is it zat i shall arrange your cravat if you tweest and turn like zis? lift your chin, philippe!" "_mais, monsieur, je--je--cela me donne--mal au cou._" "_il faut souffrir pour ãªtre bel_," replied the marquis severely. "so it seems," said philip irritably. "tom, for god's sake, have done!" his uncle chuckled. "i've finished, never fear. jean, that is wonderful!" le marquis de chã¢teau-banvau stepped back to view his handiwork. "i am not altogether satisfied," he said musingly. philip warded him off. "no, no, m'sieur! i am sure it is perfection!" the marquis disregarded him. once more his nimble fingers busied themselves amongst the folds of soft lace. his eyes gleamed suddenly. "it is well! franã§ois, the sapphire pin! quickly!" the valet held it out. he and tom watched anxiously as the marquis' hand hovered, uncertain. philip felt that this was a supreme moment; he held his breath. then the pin was fixed with one unerring movement, and the two onlookers drew deep breaths of relief. the marquis nodded. "yes, tom, you are right. it is a triumph. sit down, philippe." philip sank into a chair by the dressing-table. "what now? have you nearly finished?" "now the rouge. franã§ois, haste!" philip tried to rebel. "i will not be painted and powdered!" the marquis fixed him with a cold eye. "_plaã®t--il?_" "m'sieur--i--i will not!" "philippe--if it were not for the love i bear your papa, i would leave you zis minute. you will do as i say, _hein_?" "but, m'sieur, can i not go without paint?" "you can not." philip smiled ruefully. "then do your worst!" "it is not my worst, _ingrat_. it is my best!" "your best, then. i am really very grateful, sir." the marquis' lips twitched. he signed to franã§ois. under his deft hands philip squirmed and screwed up his face. he complained that the haresfoot tickled him, and he winced when the marquis pressed two patches on his face. when franã§ois dusted his cheeks with powder he sneezed, and when a single sapphire ear-ring was placed in his left ear he scowled and muttered direfully. but the supreme torture was to come. he discovered that it required the united energies of the three men to coax him into his coat. when at last it was on he assured them it would split across the shoulders if he so much as moved a finger. the marquis found him _fort amusant_, but troublesome. "forget it, little fool!" "forget it?" cried philip. "how can i forget it when it prevents my moving?" "_quelle absurditã©!_ the sword, tom!" "how can i dance in a sword?" protested philip. "it is _de rigueur_," said the marquis. philip fingered the jewelled hilt. "a pretty plaything," he said. "i have never spent so much money on fripperies before." franã§ois arranged the full skirts of his coat about the sword, and tom slipped rings on to philip's fingers. a point-edged hat was put into his hand, an enamelled snuff-box, and a handkerchief. thomas looked at the marquis, the marquis nodded complacently. he led philip to a long glass. "well, my friend?" but philip said never a word. he stared and stared again at his reflection. he could not believe that it was himself. he saw a tall, slight figure dressed in a pale blue satin coat, and white small-clothes, flowered waistcoat, and gold-clocked stockings. high red-heeled shoes, diamond-buckled, were on his feet, lace foamed over his hands and at his neck, while a white wig, marvellously curled and powdered, replaced his shorn locks. unconsciously he drew himself up, tilting his chin a little, and shook out his handkerchief. "well!" the marquis grew impatient. "you have nothing to say?" philip turned. "_c'est merveilleux!_" he breathed. the marquis beamed, but he shook his head. "in time, yes. at present, a thousand times no! _c'est gauche, c'est impossible!_" unwontedly humble, philip begged to be made less _gauche_. "it is my intention," said the marquis. "a month or so and i shall be proud of my pupil." "faith, i'm proud of ye now!" cried tom. "why, lad, you'll be more modish than ever maurice was!" philip flushed beneath his powder. a ruby on his finger caught his eye. he regarded it for a moment, frowning, then he took it off. "oh?" queried the marquis. "why?" "i don't like it." "you don't like it? why not?" "i don't know. i'll only wear sapphires and diamonds." "by heaven, the boy's right!" exclaimed tom. "he should be all blue!" "in a month--two months--i shall present you at versailles," decided the marquis. "franã§ois, remove that abominable ruby. and now--_en avant_!" and so went philip to his first ball. * * * * * at the end of the month tom went home to london, having set his nephew's feet on the path he was to tread. he left him in charge of m. de chã¢teau-banvau, who had by now developed a lively interest in him. after that first ball philip threw off the last shreds of rebellion; he played his part well, and he became very busy. every morning he fenced with an expert until he had acquired some skill with a small-sword; he spoke nothing but french from morn to night; he permitted the marquis to introduce him into society; he strove to loosen his tongue, and he paid flippant court to several damsels who ogled him for his fine appearance, until his light conversation grew less forced and uncomfortable. for a while he took no interest in his tailoring, allowing tom or franã§ois to garb him as they pleased. but one day, when franã§ois extended a pair of cream stockings to his gaze, he eyed them through his quizzing-glass for a long moment. then he waved them aside. franã§ois was hurt; he liked those stockings. would not m'sieur consider them? m'sieur most emphatically would not. if franã§ois admired pink clocks on a cream ground, let him take the stockings. m'sieur would not wear them; they offended him. before very long "le jeune anglais" was looked for and welcomed. ladies liked him for his firm chin, and his palpable manliness; men liked him for his modesty and his money. he was invited to routs and _bals masquã©s_, and to card-parties and _soirã©es_. philip began to enjoy himself; he was tasting the delights of popularity. bit by bit he grew to expect invitations from these new acquaintances. but still m. le marquis was dissatisfied. it was all very well, but not well enough for him. however, it was quite well enough for thomas, and he departed, chuckling and elated. he left philip debating over two wigs and the arrangement of his jewels. * * * * * hardly a fortnight later philip made secure his position in polite society by fighting a duel with a jealous husband. lest you should be shocked at this sudden depravity, i will tell you that there was little enough cause for fighting, as philip considered the lady as he might consider an aunt. happily she was unaware of this. philip's friends did not hold back; he had no difficulty in finding seconds, and the _affaire_ ended in a neat thrust which pinked the husband, and a fresh wave of popularity for philip. the marquis told his pupil that he was a gay dog, and was met by a chilling stare. "i--beg--your pardon?" said philip stiffly. "but what a modesty!" cried the marquis, much amused. "is it conceivable that you think me attracted by the smiles of madame de foli-martin?" "but yes! of course i think it!" "permit me to enlighten you," said philip. "my affections are with a lady--at home." "oh, la, la!" deplored the marquis. "a lady of the country? a simple country wench?" "i thank god, yes," said philip. he depressed his friend, who had hoped for better things of him. but he thought it wiser to change the subject. "philip, i will take you to court." philip crossed one elegantly breeched leg over the other. he was, if anything, a little bored. "yes? next week, perhaps? i am very much engaged until then." the shrewd eyes twinkled. "the manner is excellent, my friend. you will like to make your bow to the king." philip shrugged. "certainly. i trust the king will consider himself sufficiently honoured." "_sans doute_," bowed the marquis. "but i counsel you, slayer of hearts, to cast your eyes away from la pompadour." "m'sieur, i have already told you--" "oh, yes. but you have now the name for--slaying of hearts." philip dropped his affectation. "good gad! do you say so, sir? i?" "it is very fashionable," said the marquis mischievously. "you become a figure." "but i--" he checked himself, and relapsed into languor. "they fatigue me." and he yawned. "what! even la salã©vier?" "the woman with the enormous wig--oh--ah! she is well enough, but _passã©e, mon cher marquis, passã©e_!" "_sangdieu_, you are fastidious of a sudden! is the little country chit so lovely?" "your pardon, marquis, but i prefer to leave that lady's name out of this or any discussion." "or i shall have a small-sword through my heart, _hein_?" philip smiled. "that is absurd, sir." * * * * * that night he gave a card-party. the play was high and the bottles numerous. he lost some money, won a little, and was put to bed by his valet long after dawn. he awoke later with a splitting headache, but he considered himself a man. that was in september. seven mr. bancroft comes to paris and is annoyed in february came mr. bancroft to paris. philip's departure from little fittledean had been closely followed by his own, for he found that cleone no longer smiled. also, the spice of wooing her was gone when there was no jealous lover to flout. he waited until his _affaire_ had blown over, and then he went back to london. now, very blasã©, he came to paris in search of new pastimes. it was not long before he met philip. and the manner of the meeting was delightfully sensational. under the auspices of his friend, m. de chambert, he attended a rout at the hotel of the duchesse de maugry. he was presented to one mademoiselle de chaucheron, a sprightly little lady, with roguish black eyes. mr. bancroft was content to form one of the small court she held. several old acquaintances he met, for he was not unknown in paris. conversation flourished for some time. but suddenly mademoiselle cried out, clapping her hands: "_le voilã , notre petit philippe! eh bien, petit anglais?_" a slight gentleman in peach-coloured satin, powdered, painted, perfumed, came quickly through the group and went down on one knee before her. "at thy most exquisite feet, my lady!" delighted, she gave him her hand to kiss. "and where have you been this long while, _vaurien_?" philip kissed the tips of her fingers, one by one. "languishing in outer darkness, _chã©rie_." "the darkness of the court!" laughed the comte de saint-dantin. "philippe, i know you for a rogue and a trifler!" philip looked up, still holding mademoiselle's hand. "someone has maligned me. of what am i accused?" mademoiselle rapped his knuckles with her fan. "_voyons!_ have you finished with my hand?" instantly he turned back to her. "i have lost count! now i must begin again. one moment, comte, i am much occupied!" gravely he kissed each rosy finger a second time. "and one for the lovely whole. _voilã !_" "you are indeed a rogue," she told him. "for you care--not one jot!" "if that were true i were a rogue beyond reprieve," he answered gaily. "you don't deceive me, _le petit philippe_!... so sweet, so amiable, so great a flatterer--with no heart to lose!" "rumour hath it that 'tis already lost," smiled de bergeret. "eh, philippe?" "lost an hundred times," mourned philip, "and retrieved never!" "oh!" mademoiselle started back in mock-anger. "wretch that thou art, and so fickle! rise! i'll no more of you!" "alack!" philip came to his feet, and dusted his knee with his handkerchief. "i give you thanks, _mignonne_, 'twas very hard." "but you do not say! how is she, la pompadour?" cried de salmy. philip pressed a hand to his forehead. "la pompadour? i do not know; i have forgotten. she has blue eyes, not black." mademoiselle promptly hid behind her fan. mr. bancroft was staring at philip as one in a trance. at that moment philip looked his way. the grey eyes held no recognition and passed on. "good heavens!" exclaimed bancroft. '"tis never mr. jettan?" "_que lui dit-il?_" asked mademoiselle, for bancroft had spoken in english. philip bowed distantly. "m'sieur?" "you've not forgotten me? bancroft?" "ah--mr. bancroft! i remember. your servant, sir." he bowed again. "gad, i could scarce credit mine eyes! _nom de dieu!_" "aha, that i understand!" said mademoiselle relievedly. "it is one of your friends, philippe?" she smiled upon mr. bancroft with more warmth, and extended her hand. "_l'ami de philippe_--ah, but you should have said!" mr. bancroft was not elated at being classed as philip's friend, but he bowed over mademoiselle's hand with a good grace. "i had no notion of finding him here, mademoiselle. the last time we met was--in a wood." "tell!" besought the lady. philip threw out his hands. "ah, no, _chã©rie_! that meeting was so disastrous to my vanity!" "_raison de plus_," decided mademoiselle. "tell me about it!" "mr. bancroft and i had some slight difference in opinion which we settled in a wood. i was very easily worsted." "_you?_" cried mademoiselle. "impossible!" "on the contrary, _bien aimã©e_; i was, in those days, a very sorry spectacle, was i not, sir?" "not so long since," said mr. bancroft. "six months," nodded philip, and turned to speak to the comte de saint-dantin. mademoiselle was still incredulous. "a sorry spectacle? philippe?" "i scent an intrigue," said a little vicomte. "clothilde, make him tell!" "of course," she said. "philippe!" philip swung neatly round to face her. "_chã¨re clothilde?_" "come here! i want you to tell me what you mean by a sorry spectacle. if you refuse--_bien_! i shall ask mr. bancroft!" "oh, i'll give away no man's secrets!" simpered bancroft. philip raised his eyeglass. he observed mr. bancroft dispassionately. then he shrugged, and turned back to clothilde. "_petite ange_, it's a sad tale. six months ago i lived in the country, and i was a very churlish bumpkin. then i was made to see the folly of my ways, and now--_me voici_!" "i said that i scented an intrigue," said the vicomte tranquilly. "but wait, wait! _you_ in the country, philippe? you jest!" "on my honour, no, _chã©rie_! i came to paris to learn the ways of polite society." "six months ago?" de bergeret was astonished. "it is your first visit? you learned all this in so short a time?" "i have a natural aptitude," smiled philip. "now are you satisfied?" "_je n'en reviendrai jamais!_" mademoiselle spoke emphatically. "_jamais, jamais, jamais!_" "i am not at all satisfied." philip cocked one eyebrow at the dainty vicomte. "what more would you have?" "i would know of what like she is." "she?" "the lady to whom your heart is lost." "that's an hundred she's," replied philip airily. "and they are all different!" "i dare swear i could enlighten m. de ravel," drawled bancroft. all eyes turned his way. philip seated himself beside mademoiselle. he was smiling faintly. "proceed, _mon ami_. who is this lady that i have forgotten?" "forgotten? oh, come now, jettan!" philip played with clothilde's fan; he was still smiling, but the bright grey eyes that met bancroft's held a challenge. "if it transpired, m'sieur, that i had not forgotten it is possible that i might resent any liberties you or others thought to take with that lady's name," he said softly. there was a sudden silence. no one could mistake the menacing note in philip's smooth voice. saint-dantin made haste to fill the breach. "the little philippe is ready to fight us all, but it cannot be permitted. we'll not plague him, for he is very devilish when he is roused, i assure you!" he laughed easily and offered bancroft snuff. "he is very fastidious," sneered bancroft. m. le comte closed his snuff-box and stepped back. he became politely bored. "the subject grows somewhat tedious, i think. mademoiselle, will you dance?" bancroft flushed. mademoiselle sprang up. "i am promised to jules!" she nodded, smiling, to de bergeret. together they walked away from the little group. saint-dantin linked arms with philip. "come with me to the card-room, philippe. unless you wish to lead out la salã©vier?" he nodded to where an opulent beauty stood. "it's too fatiguing," said philip. "i'll come." "who is he, the ill-disposed gentleman in pink?" inquired the comte, when they were out of earshot. "a creature of no importance," shrugged philip. "so i see. yet he contrives to arouse your anger?" "yes," admitted philip. "i do not like the colour of his coat." "you may call upon me," said saint-dantin at once. "i do not like anything about him. he was here before--last year. his conversation lacks _finesse_. he is tolerated in london, _hein_?" "i don't know. i trust not." "_hã©, hã©!_ so he interfered between you and the lady?" philip withdrew his arm. "saint-dantin!" "oh, yes, yes, i know! we all know that in the background lurks--a lady! else why your so chaste and cold demeanour?" "am i cold?" "at the bottom, yes. is it not so?" "certainly it is so. it's unfashionable to possess a heart." "oh, philippe, thou art a rogue." "so i have been told. presumably because i am innocent of the slightest indiscretion. curious. no one dubs you rogue who so fully merit the title. but i, whose reputation is spotless, am necessarily a wicked one and a deceiver. i shall write a sonnet on the subject." "ah, no!" begged saint-dantin in alarm. "your sonnets are vile, philippe! so let us have no more verse from you, i pray! all else you can do, but, _sacrã© nom de dieu_, your verse--!" "alas!" sighed philip, "'tis my only ambition. i shall persevere." saint-dantin paused, a hand on the curtain that shut off the card-room. "your only ambition, philippe?" "for the moment," answered philip sweetly. "all things pall on one after a time." "save the greatest ambition?" saint-dantin's eyes were purely mischievous. "you are as inquisitive as a monkey," said philip, and propelled him into the card-room. * * * * * "for how long has that fellow lorded it here?" asked bancroft of his friend. m. de chambert flicked one great cuff with his handkerchief. "oh, some months! he is refreshing, is it not so? so young, so lovable." "lovable be damned!" said bancroft. de chambert looked at him in surprise. "you don't like our little philippe?" "no, i do not. conceited young upstart!" "con--ah, but no! you misunderstand him! he pretends, and it is very amusing, but he is not conceited; he is just a _bã©bã©_." "damn it, is he everyone's pet?" "_c'est le dernier cri de paris._ there are some who are jealous, naturally, but all who know him like him too much to be jealous." "jealous!" bancroft snorted. "jealous of that sprig!" de chambert cast him a shrewd glance. "a word in your ear, m'sieu'! do not speak your dislike too widely. _le petit philippe_ has powerful friends. you will be frowned upon if you sneer at him." bancroft struggled for words. "i'll--not conceal from you, de chambert, that i've a grudge against your little philippe. i punished him once before for impudence." "aha? i don't think you were well advised to do so again. he would have no lack of friends, and with a small-sword he is a veritable devil. it would not be wise to show your enmity, for you will meet him everywhere, and he is the ladies' darling. that says much, _hein_?" "and when i saw him last," spluttered bancroft, "he was clad in a coat i'd not give a lackey, and had as much conversation as a scarecrow!" "yes? i heard some talk of that. he is a marvel, our philippe." "curse all marvels!" said bancroft fervently. eight in which philip delivers himself of a rondeau m. le comte de saint-dantin gave a select dinner and card-party some few weeks after the coming of mr. bancroft. only his chosen intimates were invited, and amongst them was philip. at half-past five all the guests, save one, were assembled in the library, and saint-dantin was comparing his chronometer with the clock on the mantelpiece. "now what comes to philippe?" he inquired of no one in particular. "where is the child?" "he was at the ball last night," said m. de chatelin, smoothing his ruffles. "he left early and in great haste." he raised his eyes and they were twinkling. "the pearl that hung from mademoiselle de marcherand's right ear inspired him and he fled." "fled? why?" "i believe, to compose a ballade in its honour." saint-dantin flung up his hands. "may the devil fly away with philippe and his verse! i dare swear it's that that keeps him now." paul de vangrisse turned his head. "do you speak of philippe? i thought i heard his name?" "but yes! henri declares he is possessed of an inspiration for a ballade to julie de marcherand's pearl." de vangrisse came towards them, stiff silks rustling. "alas, it is too true. i visited him this morning and found him _en dã©shabillã©_, clasping his brow. he seized on me and demanded a rhyme to some word which i have forgot. so i left him." "can no one convince philippe that he is not a poet?" asked de bergeret plaintively. de vangrisse shook his head. "one may tell him that he is no swordsman, and no true _cavalier_; one may decry all his graces and he will laugh with one; but one may not say that he will never be a poet. he will not believe it." "oh, he believes it, _au fond_," answered saint-dantin. "it amuses him to pretend. ah, here he is!" into the room came philip, a vision in shades of yellow. he carried a rolled sheet of parchment, tied with an amber ribbon. he walked with a spring, and his eyes sparkled with pure merriment. he waved the parchment roll triumphantly. saint-dantin went forward to greet him. "but of a lateness, philippe," he cried, holding out his hands. "a thousand pardons, louis! i was consumed of a rondeau until an hour ago." "a rondeau?" said de vangrisse. "this morning it was a ballade!" "this morning? bah! that was a year ago. since then it has been a sonnet!" "_a dieu ne plaise!_" exclaimed saint-dantin devoutly. "of course," agreed philip. "the theme demanded a rondeau. at three this afternoon i discovered that it was so. did you come to see me this morning, paul?" "you asked me for a rhyme," de vangrisse reminded him. "so i did! a rhyme for _tout_ and _fou_, and you gave me _chou_!" "whereupon you threw your wig at me, and i fled." "_chou!_" repeated philip with awful scorn. "_chou!_" gently but firmly saint-dantin took the parchment from him. "you shall read it to us later," he promised. "but now you will dine." "it goes well before meat," pleaded philip. he was answered by ribald protests. "i'll not listen to your verse on an empty stomach," declared the vicomte. "belike i shall appreciate it when in my cups." "you have no soul," said philip sadly. "but i have a stomach, _petit anglais_, and it cries aloud for sustenance." "i weep for you," said philip. "why do i waste my poetic gems upon you?" saint-dantin took him by the elbow and led him to the door. "_parbleu_, philippe, it's what we wish to know. you shall expound to us at dinner." * * * * * midway through the meal the vicomte remembered something. he nodded across the table to philip, who was engaged in a lively and witty argument with de bergeret. "_a propos_, philippe. your so dear friend has been talking about you!" "which so dear friend?" asked philip. "jules, if you maintain in the face of my exposition that jeanne de fontenay can rival la salã©vier in the matter of--" "but attend!" insisted the vicomte. "the englishman--the bancroft--_peste_, what a name for my tongue!" philip broke off in the middle of his discourse. his eyes gleamed in the candlelight. "bancroft? what does he say of me?" "a great deal, if all i hear is true." philip set down his glass. "indeed! now, what might you have heard, de ravel?" "it would appear that _ce cher_ bancroft feels no love for you, _mon pauvre_. if de graune is to be believed, he resents your presence here. he says he has been deceived in you. it is all very sad." "yes," said philip. he frowned. "very sad. but what does he say?" "he divulges your close-guarded secret," said the vicomte solemnly. "oh!" philip turned in his chair and leaned his elbows on the table. "it is possible that i shall have a word to say to m. bancroft. continue, charles!" "he speaks of a lady in 'leetle feeteldean' who has blue, blue eyes, and--" "shall we pass over her eyes?" smiled philip. "but certainly! her hair--" "and her hair? in fact, shall we pass over all her attractions?" "he is very much in love," loudly whispered de bergeret. philip flashed a smile at him. "very much, jules. proceed, vicomte." the vicomte sipped his wine. "m. bancroft, he told of your--ah--infatuation. he described the lady--oh, fully!" the thin lips were growing into a straight, smiling line, tightly compressed. philip nodded. "_allons! allons!_" "vicomte, does the gossip of the gaming-halls amuse you?" asked saint-dantin sharply. but the vicomte was a mischief-loving soul. he disregarded the rebuke. "a pretty piece, he called her, but no more than a simple country wench. by name--" "oh, have done!" exclaimed saint-dantin impatiently. "but no!" philip waved him aside. "i am very interested in what m'sieur has to say." "by name, cleone. we have it from m. bancroft that she falls in love with him for his _beaux yeux_ and his so charming manner." "ah!" philip's chin sank into his cupped palms. "_et puis?_" "it is further recorded that one m. philippe jettan importuned her with his clumsy attentions, so that m. bancroft was compelled to teach this m. philippe a sharp lesson. and when one asks, 'what of the pretty cleone?' he shrugs his shoulders and replies, very superbly, that he wearied of her as of all others." saint-dantin's crisp voice cut into the sudden silence. "philippe, fill your glass. paul here tells me of a pass he conceived in his duel with mardry last month. a--" "i will ask paul to show me that pass," said philip. he leaned back in his chair and laughed softly. a moment later he had resumed his interrupted discussion with de bergeret. afterwards saint-dantin took him aside. "philippe, i would not have had that happen at my table! charles is incorrigible!" "on the contrary, i am grateful to him," replied philip. "i might not have heard else. now i will shut that fellow's mouth." "how?" asked saint-dantin blankly. philip made an imaginary pass in the air. "short of killing him," objected saint-dantin, "i don't see--" "kill him? not i! i may count on you to--uphold me?" "of course. but what do you mean to do?" "first i will reverse the tables. i will punish him. then i will assure him that my friends will espouse my cause if he again mentions my lady's name in public." saint-dantin nodded. "i'll vouch for those here to-night." "wait! any mention of her name will be reported to me, and i shall send franã§ois to administer a little beating. it is well." the comte laughed outright. "oh, philippe, thou art a young hot-head! is this cleone of so great account?" philip drew himself up. "she is the lady whom i hope one day to make my wife." "_comment?_ your wife? _ah, voyons! cela change l'affaire!_ i did not know that. stop his talk, by all means." "it's what i am going to do," said philip. "_scã©lã©rat!_" "with a vile taste for pink, _hein_? you'll call upon me?" "if you please. and, i think, de bergeret." "saint-dantin, a wager!" called de vangrisse. "what are you talking of so earnestly?" "of pink coats," answered philip. "oh, my rondeau! where is it?" "devil take your rondeau!" cried the vicomte. "come and hazard a throw with me." "_a l'instant!_" philip untied the ribbon about his rondeau and spread out the parchment. "i insist that you shall listen to this product of my brain!" he mounted a chair amid derisive cheers, and bowed right and left in mock solemnity. "to the pearl that trembles in her ear. "_cette petite perle qui tremblotte_ _au bout ton oreille, et qui chuchotte_ _je ne sais quoi de tendre et de malin._ _a l'air ã  la fois modeste et coquin,_ _si goguenarde est elle et si dã©vote._ "_a regarder c'est toute une gavotte_ _oã¹ l'on s'avance, se penche, et pivote,_ _lors que tu branles d'un movement fin_ _cette petite perle._ "_c'est une ã©toile dans le ciel qui flotte--_ _un vif ã©clair qui luit dans une grotte--_ _un feu follet qui hors de mon chemin_ _m'attire, m'ã©blouit, m'ã©gare--_" philip paused for his final effect. arose saint-dantin, and like a flash interjected: "_enfin,_ _elle m'embãªte--saperlipopette!--_ _cette petite perle._" outraged, philip threw the parchment at his head. nine mr. bancroft is enraged "philippe, do you go to de farraud's to-night?" asked de bergeret suddenly. he was lounging on the couch in philip's room, watching philip adjust his patches. "de farraud's? i'd not thought of it. whom shall i meet there?" "your very obedient," said de bergeret, flourishing his hat. "the prospect does not entice me," answered philip. "no, don't retort! don't speak. don't move!" he leaned forward, shifting a candle to throw its light on his face, and frowned at his reflection. the white hand that held the haresfoot wavered an instant, and then alighted at the corner of his mouth. philip sat back, studying the effect. "whom else shall i meet, jules?" "the usual people, i fancy. and some others, no doubt." "de farraud's friends are so very mixed," deplored philip. "do you suppose that de chambert will be present?" "nothing is more certain," yawned de bergeret. "but it will be amusing, and the play will be high, which is all that matters." "but de chambert wears puce small-clothes," objected philip. "does he? _mordieu_, i'd like to see that! puce small-clothes, forsooth! and what does our philippe wear?" philip glanced lovingly down at his pearl-grey breeches. "grey, and palest pink, with lacings of silver." he slipped out of his gaily-hued robe, and stood up. de bergeret levelled his eyeglass at him. "_parbleu, philippe!_ grey lace!" philip shook out his ruffles. "a sweet conceit, _hein_? but wait! franã§ois, my vest!" his valet brought it, and helped philip to put it on. it was a very exquisite confection of pink and silver brocade. de bergeret was interested. "i'll swear you designed that, philippe! now for the coat!" when philip had at last succeeded in entering into the coat it was some ten minutes later. franã§ois stepped back, panting; philip arranged his sword to his satisfaction. "a careless sprinkling of rubies, _hein_? one in the cravat, one here, another in my wig. and on my fingers, so!..." "perfect!" applauded de bergeret. "_tonnerre de dieu_, pink hummingbirds on your stockings!" franã§ois beamed and clasped his hands, gazing in rapt admiration at philip's startlingly clocked legs. philip laughed. "do they please your artistic soul, jules? and are they to be wasted on de farraud? i had intended to go to the saint-clamond rout, where i know i shall meet clothilde. come with me!" de bergeret shook his head. "i promised de vangrisse i'd be at de farraud's some time to-night. forget the lovely clothilde, philippe. bethink you, your so dear friend bancroft will come to farraud's in de chambert's train!" philip was fixing a long ruby ear-ring in his right ear, but he stopped suddenly, and looked over his shoulder at de bergeret. "_comment?_" "why, you leap to my bait!" said de bergeret, amused. "i thought you could not resist so great an attraction!" philip fixed the ruby and swept round for his cloak and hat. "faith, that can i not. i come, jules, i come! franã§ois, thou rogue, my snuff-box! would that he may be wearing that salmon-pink! franã§ois, my cane! jules, you are sitting on my cloak! _sangdieu!_ my new cloak!" he swept de bergeret off the coat, and shook out the soft, rose-lined folds. "god be praised, it is unhurt!" with a deft movement he swung it over his shoulders and fastened it. "my hat! jules, what think you of my hat?" "a grey hat! philippe, what an audacity! you are really coming to de farraud's?" "to meet the so dear m. bancroft. _en avant, jules!_" de bergeret went to the glass. "cultivate a more restful manner, _mon petit_! i am not to be hurried. do you like this mixture of violet and cream?" "i like everything you have on, even the so badly arranged cravat! i am consumed with impatience! come!" "but why? are you hasting to see the unspeakable bancroft?" "but yes! whom else? i will explain _en route_." de bergeret suffered himself to be led to the door. "philippe, it is not _convenable_ to display such enthusiasm. languor is now the fashion." "i am a fashion unto myself, then. i am an original. and i go to call out m. bancroft!" de bergeret stopped short. "what! a brawl? no, then, i'll not come!" "a brawl? is it possible? i shall conduct the affair with great _douceur_, i assure you! you and saint-dantin are to be my seconds." "_misã©ricorde!_ philippe, you become more and more tiresome!" expostulated his friend. "why must you fight this fellow?" "an old quarrel--the settling of an unpaid score! _allons!_" * * * * * "oh, the devil," muttered bancroft. "_oã¹ donc?_" inquired le vallon, who was sitting next to him and who understood english. bancroft shot an angry glance towards the door. le vallon turned to see what had excited his wrath. talking to de farraud, with many quick gestures and smiles, was philip. he had just arrived, and he was apologizing for his lateness, throwing all the blame on de bergeret, who accepted it meekly. "oh, the little englishman!" said le vallon scornfully. "always late, always eccentric. and grey lace! what an affectation!" philip cast a swift glance round the room. his eyes rested an instant on bancroft's face, then they passed on. two or three men called to him, and he presently went to dice with de vangrisse. but when le vallon left bancroft to join a faro group, philip swept up his dice, and with a laughing word to de vangrisse, promising to return, he walked over to bancroft's table, and sat down in le vallon's chair with a swirl of his full skirts. bancroft was about to rise. astonished at philip's sudden advent, he sank back again. "to what do i owe this honour?" he demanded. philip dealt out the cards. "i will tell you. a hand of piquet? you will declare?" bancroft sorted his hand rather sullenly. not until he had declared and played his card did philip speak again. then he took the trick and leaned forward. "it comes to my ears that you have been bandying a certain lady's name about paris in a way that does not please me. you understand, yes?" "what the devil is it to you?" cried bancroft, crimson-faced. "sh, sh! not so loud, if you please! go on playing! i am informed that you speak of this lady as a pretty piece! it is not how i will have you speak of her. also, you say that she fell in love with you _en dã©sespã©rã©_. _eh bien_, i say that you lie in your throat!" "sir!" "_doucement, doucement._ further, i say that if so be you again mention this lady's name in public i shall send my lackeys to punish you. it is understood?" "you--you--you impudent young cockerel! i shall know how to answer this! what's cleone to you, eh?" the pleasant smile died. philip leaned forward. "that name i will not have spoken, m'sieur. strive to bear it in mind. i have many friends, and they will tell me if you speak of the lady when i am not by. and of the rest i have warned you." "ye can understand this, mr. jettan--i'll speak of her how and when i like!" philip shrugged. "you talk foolishly. there is no question of refusal to comply with my wishes. if i so please i can make paris ve-ry uncomfortable for you. you know that, i think." bancroft was speechless with rage. "there is another matter," continued philip amiably. "once before i had occasion to complain of your manner. i do so again. and i find the colour of your ribbons most distasteful to mine eye." bancroft sprang up, his chair grating on the polished floor. "perhaps you'll have the goodness to name your friends, sir?" he choked. philip bowed. "this time, yes. it is a little debt i have to pay. m. le comte de saint-dantin and m. de bergeret will act for me. or de vangrisse yonder, or m. le duc de vally-martin." "the first named will suffice," snapped bancroft. "my friends will wait on them as soon as may be." with that he flounced away to the other end of the room. philip walked back to de vangrisse and perched on the arm of his chair. de bergeret cast his dice and nodded at philip. "the deed is done?" "most satisfactorily," answered philip. "throw, paul, you can beat that." "not i! jules has the devil's own luck to-night. if it is not an impertinence, are you to meet m. bancroft?" "of course. oh, _peste_!"--as de vangrisse cast his dice. "what did i tell you? may i second you?" "a thousand thanks, paul. but saint-dantin and jules have consented to act for me." "well, i shall come as a spectator," said de vangrisse. "jules, another hundred! i'll not be beaten by you!" * * * * * le vallon, who had watched the brief encounter between his friend and philip with great curiosity, now edged across to where bancroft was standing. bancroft turned. "come apart a moment," he said. his voice was still trembling with passion. he and le vallon drew near to the window. "you saw that damned fellow come up to me just now?" "but yes! i watched very closely. what did he want with you?" "he came to impose his will--his will!--on mine. curse his impudence!" "why? what did he say?" asked le vallon inquisitively. bancroft did not answer. "i want you to act for me," he said abruptly. "he--insulted me, and i've sworn to teach him a lesson." le vallon drew back a little. "what? you seek to kill him? kill _le petit anglais_?" his tone was dubious. "no, not quite that. i've no wish for trouble. he has too many friends. i'll teach him to leave me alone!" "oh, yes! but..." le vallon pursed his lips. "but what?" barked bancroft. "it is said that he is a not-to-be-despised swordsman. he pinked armand de sedlamont with great ease." "pooh!" said bancroft. "six months ago--" "i know, i know, but he has changed." bancroft scowled. "well, will you act for me or not?" le vallon drew himself up. "m'sieur, i do not entirely appreciate your manner." bancroft laughed uneasily. "oh, come, le vallon! don't take offence! that puppy has so annoyed me that i can scarce keep my temper. where's de chambert?" "playing at lansquenet with de farraud. and i think we had best mingle with the others. i do not care to appear conspicuous." bancroft caught at his arm. "but you will second me?" "i shall be honoured," bowed le vallon. "and i hope you will succeed in showing my fine gentleman his place." later in the evening saint-dantin sauntered over to where philip sat, perched on the edge of the table, toasting some of his friends. saint-dantin joined the gathering and laid a hand on philip's shoulder. philip, who was drinking, choked. "_malã©diction!_ oh, 'tis you, louis! what now?" "there is a rumour that you go to fight _ce cher_ bancroft, philippe." "already?" philip was startled. "who told you?" "_personne._" saint-dantin smiled. "it is whispered here and there. and bancroft looks so black at you. it's true?" "of course it's true! did i not say i should do it? his seconds are to wait upon you and jules." "how very fatiguing!" sighed saint-dantin. "but quite amusing. one jubilates. bancroft is not at all liked. he is so _entreprenant_. an' i mistake not, you will have an audience," he chuckled. "what?" philip gripped his wrist. "i won't have an audience!" saint-dantin blinked, loosening the clasp on his wrist. "_pas si ã©clatant_, philippe," he said. "you twist and turn like a puppet on wires! i only know that at least five here to-night swear they'll see the fight." "but it is monstrous!" objected philip. "i forbid you to divulge the whereabouts of the meeting." "oh, _entendu_! but the secret will out." "how am i to keep a steady wrist with a dozen ogling fools watching?" demanded philip. "you must keep it steady," said de chatelin. "my money's for you, _petit anglais_!" philip looked genuinely perturbed. "henri, it is iniquitous! it is not a public exhibition that i engage in! one would say we were gladiators!" "_reste tranquille_," grinned de vangrisse. "we are all backing you, _mon petit_." "i trust you'll not forget to inform his majesty of the rendezvous," said philip, resorting to bitter sarcasm. "and have you engaged a fiddler to enliven the meeting?" "_philippe se fã¢che_," teased de chatelin. "quiet, little fighting cock!" "i shall write an ode!" threatened philip direfully. "ah no, that is too much!" cried de vangrisse with feeling. "and i shall read it to you before i engage. well?" "it is a heavy price to pay," answered paul, "but not too heavy for the entertainment." ten in which a letter is read cleone sat on a stool at sir maurice's knee and sighed. so did sir maurice, and knew that they sighed for the same thing. "well, my dear," he said, trying to speak cheerfully, "how is your mamma?" "the same as ever, i thank you," answered cleone. sir maurice patted her hand. "and how is little cleone?" "oh, sir, can you ask? i am very well," she said, with great sprightliness. "and you?" sir maurice was more honest. "to tell the truth, my dear, i miss that young scamp." cleone played with her fingers, her head bent. "do you, sir? he should be home again ere long. do you--do you yet know where he is?" "no. that does not worry me. my family does not write letters." "mr. tom--has not told you, i suppose." "no. i've not seen tom for some time.... the boy has been away six months now. gad, but i'd like to see him walk in at that door!" cleone's head sank a little lower. "do you think--harm could have come to him, sir?" "no. else had i heard. faith, it's our own fault, cleone, and we are grumbling!" "i never--" "my dear, don't pretend to me! do you think i don't know?" cleone was silent. "we sent philip to acquire polish. heaven knows what has happened to him! would you care greatly if he returned--without the polish, child?" "no!" whispered cleone. "nor should i. strange! but i should prefer it, i confess." "do you think--do you think he--he will be--very elegant, sir maurice?" he smiled. "i fear not, cleone. can you see our philip tricked up in town clothes, apeing town ways?" "n--no." there was silence for a few minutes. "sir maurice." "my dear?" "mamma has a letter from my aunt, lady malmerstoke." "so? and what does she say therein?" "she--she wants me to go to her for the season." sir maurice looked down at her. "and you are going?" "i don't--know. i--do not wish to leave you, sir." "that is very kind of you, child. but i'd not have you stay for my sake." "it's no such thing, sir. i do not want to go." "why, cleone, not for the season? think of the balls and the routs." "i don't--care about it." it was a forlorn little voice, and sir maurice patted her hand again. "tut-tut, my love!" another silence. "i do not think it is very kind in philip to stay away from you for so long a time," said cleone wistfully. "you forget, dear. i sent him. he is but obeying me." "and--and me." sir maurice found nothing to say to that. "was i--perhaps--very wicked--to--to--do what he said--i did?" "what was that, cleone?" "th--throw away--an honest man's love for--for--oh, you know the things he said!" "silly young fool! you gave him his just deserts, cleone. and you may vouch for it that he will be back here at your feet in a very short while." cleone glanced up through her lashes. "do you really think so?" she asked eagerly. "of course i do!" he answered stoutly. just then a bell clanged somewhere in the distance. cleone jumped up and ran to the window which looked out on the avenue. she tip-toed, craning her neck to see who stood in the porch. "why, it is sir harold bancroft!" she exclaimed. "plague take him, then!" said sir maurice, disagreeably. "i can't stand the fellow or his sprig of a son!" cleone blushed and continued to stand with her back to the room until footsteps sounded along the passage, and the door opened to admit the visitor. sir maurice rose. "give ye good den, bancroft. it's good of you to come to visit me this cold day." bancroft wrung the thin hand, pressing sir maurice's rings into his fingers. he bowed jerkily to the curtseying cleone, and blurted forth his errand. "'tis a joke i must have you share! 'twill be the death of you, i vow. you knew my son was in paris?" sir maurice put forward a chair. "really? no, i did not know." "well, he is. and"--a chuckle escaped him--"so is yours!" "oh!" it was a smothered exclamation from cleone. sir maurice smiled. "i guessed as much," he said, quite untruthfully. "have you news from henry?" "no, not i! but i've a letter from an old friend of mine--satterthwaite. do ye know him?" sir maurice shook his head. having seen his guest into a chair, he sat down on the couch, and beckoned cleone to his side. "no. he, too, is in paris?" "ay. now wait while i find the letter! you'll split o' laughter when you've heard me read it!" he rummaged in his capacious pockets, and drew forth two or three crumpled sheets. these he spread out, and proceeded to find the place. "'i trust....' no, that's not it! 'we are' ... hum, hum, hum! ah, here we have it! just listen to this!" he held the parchment close to his nose and began to read: "'... whom should i meet but your boy, henry! i had no notion he was in paris, or i should have sought him out, you may depend. the manner of my meeting with him was most singular, as you will agree, and it is the more interesting as the occasion affords the subject for the latest joke of paris, nay, i may almost say scandal, though to be sure i mean not our meeting, but that which i am about to relate....' a bit involved, that," remarked bancroft, frowning. "not at all," said sir maurice. "i understand perfectly." "well, it's more than i do! however: 'i came upon moosoo de chã¢teau-banvau the other day....'" "chã¢teau-banvau!" "eh? do ye know him?" "do i know him! as i know my brother!" "fancy! there's a coincidence! but there's more to come! where was i? oh, yes--'came upon moosoo de chã¢teau-banvau the other day and found him in great amusement, which he offered me to share, and the which i agreed to. he propounded me the joke that we were to see, and one in which his _protã©gã©_, a mr. philip jettan, was the part cause of and your son, henry, the other!' gad, that's a fine sentence! are ye listening to me, jettan?" there was no need to ask that question. both his auditors had their whole attention fixed on him. satisfied, he continued: "'this young jettan is, so says the marquis, the craze of fashionable paris, the ladies' darling'--do ye hear that now?--'and the maddest young scamp that you could wish for. then the marquis further told me that henry was in paris and engaged to fight a duel with this jettan.'" "oh, heavens!" cried cleone. "ye may well say so, my dear! now, wait a while--the joke's against me, i confess, but i had to tell you--'the cause whereof, it is rumoured, is some lady whom both are enamoured of, some french wench, i think.'" cleone was rigid. her fingers tightened unconsciously on sir maurice's arm. "'jettan being a great favourite among the young sparks here, they all, having got wind of the affair, combined among themselves, laying wagers about the fight, the most of the money being laid on jettan, as i hear. then to bait him, or what-not, they conspired to be present at the meeting despite jettan's protests. the marquis laughed mightily here, and said that jettan threatened to read them an ode should they appear, which he seemed to find vastly entertaining on account of some joke or other concerning jettan's poetry.'" "philip's _poetry_?..." said sir maurice faintly. "proceed, bancroft." "ay, wait a bit! here we are: 'the marquis was going to be present, having heard of the rumour, and swore to take me along with him. the which i did consent to, as you may imagine. well, we came out to neuilly in due course at half-after eight one morning, and mighty cold it was, but that's neither here nor there. there we found a fair gathering of young rakes with their horses or chariots, some half dozen in all, laying wagers and all mightily amused. and, stap me, if there was not a fiddler scraping away as if his life depended on it. soon after we were come, up drives a coach and out jumps three men, the first in great disorder at finding so many there assembled. this was jettan, and prodigious elegant and finicky he was, too, all patched and painted, and tricked up in velvets and silks and i don't know what. he fell into a great rage, though he was laughing half the time, and, indeed, 'twas a ridiculous situation, and he could scarce help but to be tickled by it. he turns to his seconds and rates them, but they were too amused to do aught but to hold their sides. then young jettan orders us all off and especially begs the marquis to exert his influence, which he would not do. then jettan appealed to us to withdraw, whereat they were all the more entertained, and adjured him to _se taire_, as they call it, calling him _petit philippe_ and the like. then jettan started to laugh himself and pulls out a roll of parchment from his pocket, and was for declaiming some ode he had writ, but that three of them took it from him. then he says, "at least, send that damned fiddler away!" and they replied, "all in good time," but 'twas himself had asked for him. before he could say more, which he was about to do, up comes another coach, and out gets your boy, henry, and his seconds. when they saw what was toward they were mightily put out, as you may imagine, and, indeed, henry was white and purple with rage, saying this was an insult and he was not to be so mocked, and the like. his seconds spoke apart with young jettan's, and i give you my word, they were dancing with fury, at least one was, but the little one seemed more entertained. then up comes jettan, very solemn and dignified, and bows to henry. "i ask you to believe, moosoo," says he, "that this is none of my designing. i desire," says he, "to offer you my apologies for my friends' ill-timed pleasantry." henry could scarce mouth forth a word, so enraged was he, and was for retiring at once, saying that he had borne much, but this was too much. the fiddler was ordered to stop his scraping now, and the onlookers all vowed they had come with serious intent to watch the fight, and would not go until they had done so. jettan offers to meet henry another day, when and where he will, but i could see henry was burning to run him through. "since we are here," says he, "let us go on with it. i await your convenience," he says, and, "i thank you," replies jettan and stands back. henry's seconds were all for retiring, but he'd have none of it, and bids them go to and choose the ground. at last all was prepared, and the two stripped off their coats and vests. everyone was becomingly sober now, and, indeed, mighty anxious for young jettan, who is the smaller of the two, and henry looking murder as he was. henry fought devilish hard, and, indeed, is a cunning fencer, as you no doubt apprehend, but young jettan was like a bit of quicksilver, in and out with his sword most finicky and dainty. soon we saw that henry was no match for him at all, and, indeed, could have been run through the body a score of times, jettan playing with him very pretty to see, but i was sore distressed to see henry so put to it. he gave jettan but the faintest scratch, and before we knew what was to do, there was henry reeling back and his sword on the ground. at which jettan bows very polite, and but a mite out of breath, and picks up the sword and hands it to henry. henry was for continuing, and a brave lad he is, but the seconds would have none of it, and 'twas all over. "i trust you are satisfied, sir?" says jettan. "satisfied be damned!" pants henry, clutching at his shoulder. "of the other matter between us," says jettan, "i can only counsel you to remember, for i meant what i said." then he walks off and we rode away.'" bancroft stopped. "i saw the joke was against me. what do ye think of that, sir maurice?" sir maurice drew a deep breath. "my god, i would i had been there!" he said fervently. "ay, 'twould have been a fine sight, i vow! but did ye ever hear the like of it? philip and the petticoats, eh? these lads, sir maurice! these lads! satterthwaite says he writes madrigals and what-not to the ladies' eyelashes!" bancroft went off into a long chuckle. "and so ruffled my young hot-head, who had always a way with the petticoats!" cleone rose and walked to the window. she opened it, cooling her hot cheeks. and there she stayed, seated on the low couch that ran under the window, until bancroft finally took his departure. when sir maurice returned from seeing his guest out of the house, he found her pale again, and very stiff. "ahem!" said sir maurice. then, brusquely: "pack o' lies!" "do you think so?" said cleone hopefully. "of course i do! the boy is but doing what i told him to do--acquiring polish and _savoir faire_ with your sex, my dear." cleone sprang up. "you told him to--oh, how could you, sir?" "my dear, it's less than nothing, i dare swear. but philip worsting bancroft like that! philip the pet of society! gad, i never hoped for this!" "nor i," said cleone bitterly. "and--and 'tis my own--f-fault--for--s-sending him away--s-so c-cruelly, but--but--oh, how _dare_ he?" sir maurice was silent. "he--he--i thought he--" she broke off, biting her lip. after a slight pause she spoke again, with would-be lightness. "i--do you know, i think i shall go to my aunt after all?" "will you, my dear?" said sir maurice. * * * * * that evening he was moved to write to his brother, an infrequent proceeding. the outcome of that letter was a brief note from tom, which reached philip a week later. "dear nephew,--the devil's in it now and no mistake. old satterthwaite was present at your crazy duel, and has writ the whole tale to harry bancroft, who, curse him for an interfering old fool, read it to your father and cleone. the tale is that you and b. quarrelled over some french minx, which may be true for all i know. in any case, cleone is monstrous put out, and comes to towne to her aunt, old sally malmerstoke. maurice writes me this and demands your return, being upset for the girl's sake, but secretly delighted at the story, if i read his letter aright. do as you please, dear boy, but i warn you, cleone is in the mood for any madness, as is the way when a maid thinks herself slighted. and she is a prodigious pretty chit. my love to chã¢teau-banvau and to yr self.--tom." eleven philip astonishes his uncle thomas, deep in the latest copy of the _rambler_, was aroused by the sound of wheels drawing up outside the house. he rose and stretched himself, wondering who could choose such a day wherein to visit him. he strolled to the window and peered out into the foggy street. he was surprised to see, not a light town-chariot, but a large travelling coach, top-heavy with baggage, and drawn by four steaming horses. as he watched, the door of the vehicle was thrown open and a slight gentleman sprang out, not waiting for the steps to be let down. he was muffled in a many-caped overcoat of parisian cut, and shining leather boots were on his feet. tom was puzzled. then, from out the coach, issued two other men, evidently servants, the one small and wiry, the other lank and cadaverous. both seemed depressed. the man in the well-cut cloak waved his hands at them and appeared to shoot forth a number of instructions. the little man, scarcely visible beneath the bandboxes that he carried, nodded, shivered, and rounded on the lean man. then the man in the cloak turned, and ran up the steps to tom's front door. a long bell-peal sounded through the house. tom walked to the fire and stood with his back to it. possibly this was his friend mainwaring come to visit him, but why did he bring so much baggage? tom rather hoped that the unknown guest had come to his house in mistake for another's. but a quick tread came across the hall and the door of the library was swept open. hat in hand, the visitor stood before tom, bowing. "revered uncle, i kiss your hands!" and he proceeded to do so. "god ha' mercy, it's philip!" gasped tom. "i never expected you for another week, lad!" philip tossed his hat and gloves on to the table and wriggled out of his cloak. "i am _de trop_, no?" "never in your life!" tom assured him. "stand up, child, and let me look at you!" then, as philip clicked his heels together and faced him, laughing, his eyes widened, and his lips formed a soundless whistle. "by the lord harry, philip, it's marvellous! how could you do it in six months----!" philip rustled over to the fire and stooped, warming his hands. "fog, cold, damp! brrh! the unspeakable climate! tom, it is permitted that i stay with you until i find an abode?" with difficulty his uncle withdrew his gape from philip's claret-coloured coat of fine cloth, laced with gold. "can you ask? stay as long as you will, lad, you're a joy to behold!" "_merci du compliment!_" smiled philip. "you perhaps admire the mixture of claret and biscuit as i wear it?" tom's eyes travelled down to the creaseless biscuit-coloured small-clothes. "ay. i admire everything. the boots most of all. the boots--philip, where did you obtain them?" philip glanced carelessly down at his shapely leg. "they were made for me. me, i am not satisfied with them. i shall give them to franã§ois." "give them to franã§ois?" cried his uncle. "ye wicked boy! where is the fellow?" "he and jacques are struggling with my baggage and moggat." he stretched out a detaining hand as tom started forward to the door. "ah, do not disturb yourself. i have spoken with _ce bon_ moggat, and all is well. he will arrange everything." tom came back. "he will be in a frenzy, philip! all that baggage!" "all--that baggage?" philip spoke with uplifted brows. "it has arrived?" he went to the window and looked out. "but no, not yet." "b--but--is there more to come?" asked tom. "but of course! the bulk follows me." tom sat down weakly. "and you who six months ago thought yourself rich in the possession of three coats." philip came back to the fire. he made a little grimace of distaste. "those far-off days! that is ended--completely!" tom cast him a shrewd glance. "what, all of it? cleone?" "ah!" philip smiled. "that is--another--matter. i have to thank you for your letter, tom." "it brought you back?" "_en partie._ she is here?" "ay, with sally malmerstoke. she is already noticed. sally takes her everywhere. she is now looked for--and courted." his eyes twinkled. "oho!" said philip. he poured out a glass of burgundy from the decanter that stood on a small table. "so she is furious with me, yes?" "so i believe. satterthwaite wrote that you and bancroft fought over the fair name of some french lass. did you?" philip sipped his wine. "not a whit. 'twas her own fair name, _ã  vrai dire_." "oh! you'll tell her that, of course?" "not at all." tom stared. "what then? have you some deep game in mind, philip?" "perhaps. oh, i don't know! i thank her for reforming me, but, being human, i am hurt and angry! _le petit philippe se fã¢che_," he said, smiling suddenly. "he would see whether it is himself she loves, or--a painted puppet. it's foolish, but what would you?" "so you are now a painted puppet?" said tom politely. "what else?" "dear me!" said tom, and relapsed into profound meditation. "i want to have her love me for--myself, and not for my clothes, or my airs and graces. it's incomprehensible?" "not entirely," answered tom. "i understand your feelings. what's to do?" "merely my baggage," said philip, with another glance towards the window. "it is the coach that you hear." "no, not that." tom listened. voices raised in altercation sounded in the hall. philip laughed. "that is the inimitable franã§ois. i do not think that moggat finds favour in his eyes." "i'll swear he does not find favour in moggat's eyes! who is the other one?" "jacques, my groom and _homme ã  tout faire_!" "faith, ye've a retinue!" "what would you?" shrugged philip. he sat down opposite his uncle, and stretched his legs to the fire. "heigh-ho! i do not like this weather." "nor anyone else. what are you going to do, now that you have returned?" "who knows? i make my bow to london society, i amuse myself a little--ah yes! and i procure a house." "do you make your bow to cleone?" an impish smile danced into philip's eyes. "i present myself to cleone--as she would have had me. a drawling, conceited, and mincing fop. which i am not, believe me!" tom considered him. "no, you're not. you don't drawl." "i shall drawl," promised philip. "and i shall be very languid." "it's the fashion, of course. you did not adopt it?" "it did not entice me. i am _le petit sans repos_, and _le petit_ philippe _au c[oe]ur perdu_, and _petit original_. _hã©, hã©_, i shall be homesick! it is inevitable." "are you so much at home in paris?" asked tom, rather surprised. "you liked the frenchies?" "liked them! could i have disliked them?" "i should have thought it possible--for you. did you make many friends?" "_a revendre!_ they took me to their bosoms." "did they indeed! who do you count amongst your intimates?" "saint-dantin--you know him?" "i've met him. tall and dark?" "ay. paul de vangrisse, jules de bergeret, henri de chatelin--oh, i can't tell you! they are all charming!" "and the ladies?" "also charming. did you ever meet clothilde de chaucheron, or julie de marcherand? _ah, voilã  ce qui fait ressouvenir!_ i count that _rondeau_ one of my most successful efforts. you shall hear it some time or other." "that _what_?" ejaculated tom, sitting upright in his surprise. "a _rondeau_: 'to the pearl that trembles in her ear.' i would you could have seen it." "which? the _rondeau_?" "the pearl, man! the _rondeau_ you shall most assuredly see." "merciful heaven!" gasped tom. "a _rondeau_! philip--poet! _sacr-rã© mille petits cochons!_" * * * * * "monsieur dines at home this evening?" asked franã§ois. philip sat at his dressing-table, busy with many pots and his face. he nodded. "the uncle of monsieur receives, without doubt?" "a card-party," said philip, tracing his eyebrows with a careful hand. franã§ois skipped to the wardrobe and flung it open. with a finger to his nose he meditated aloud. "the blue and silver ... _un peu trop soignã©_. the orange ... _peu convenable_. the purple the purple _essayons_!" philip opened the rouge-jar. "the grey i wore at de flaubert's last month." franã§ois clapped a hand to his head. "_ah, sot!_" he apostrophised himself. "_voilã  qui est trã¨s bien._" he dived into the wardrobe, emerging presently with the required dress. he laid it on the bed, stroking it lovingly, and darted away to a large chest. from it he brought forth the pink and silver waistcoat that de bergeret had admired, and the silver lace. then he paused. "_les bas?... les bas aux oiseaux-mouches ... oã¹ sont-ils?_" he peered into a drawer, turning over neat piles of stockings. a convulsion of fury seemed to seize him, and he sped to the door. "ah, _sapristi! coquin! jacques!_" in answer to his frenzied call came the cadaverous one, shivering. franã§ois seized him by the arm and shook him. "thou misbegotten son of a toad!" he raved. "where is the small box i bade you guard with your life? where is it, i say. thou--" "i gave it into your hands," said jacques sadly. "into your hands, your very hands, in this room here by the door! i swear it." "swear it? what is it to me, your swear? i say i have not seen the box! at dover, what did i do? _nom d'un nom_, did i not say to you, lose thy head sooner than that box?" his voice rose higher and higher. "and now, where is it?" "i tell you i gave it you! it is this bleak country that has warped your brain. never did the box leave my hands until i gave it into yours!" "and i say you did not! _saperlipopette_, am i a fool that i should forget? now listen to what you have done! you have lost the stockings of monsieur! by your incalculable stupidity, the stupidity of a pig, an ass--" "_sacrã© nom de dieu!_ am i to be disturbed by your shrieking?" philip had flung down the haresfoot. he slewed round in his chair. "shut the door! is it that you wish to annoy my uncle that you shout and scream in his house?" his voice was thunderous. franã§ois spread out his hands. "m'sieur, i ask pardon! it is this _ã¢ne_, this careless _gaillard_--" "_mais, m'sieur!_" protested jacques. "it is unjust; it is false!" "_ecoutez donc, m'sieur!_" begged franã§ois, as the stern grey eyes went from his face to that of the unhappy jacques. "it is the band-box that contains your stockings--the stockings _aux oiseaux-mouches_! ah, would that i had carried it myself! would that--" "would that you would be quiet!" said philip severely. "if either of you have lost those stockings ..." he paused, and once more his eyes travelled from one to the other. "i shall seek another valet." franã§ois became tearful. "ah, no, no, m'sieur! it is this _imbã©cile_, this _crapaud_--" "_m'sieu, je vous implore_--" philip pointed dramatically across the room. both men looked fearfully in the direction of that accusing finger. "ah!" franã§ois darted forward. "_la voilã !_ what did i say?" he clasped the box to his breast. "what did i say?" "but it is not so!" cried jacques. "what did you say? you said you had not seen the box! what did _i_ say? i said--" "enough!" commanded philip. "i will not endure this bickering! be quiet, franã§ois! little monkey that you are!" "_m'sieur!_" franã§ois was hurt. his sharp little face fell into lines of misery. "little monkey," continued philip inexorably, "with more thought for your chattering than for my welfare." "ah, no, no, m'sieur! i swear it is not so! by the--" "i do not want your oaths," said philip cruelly. "am i to wait all night for my cravat, while you revile the good jacques?" franã§ois cast the box from him. "ah, _misã©rable_! the cravat! _malheureux_, get thee gone!" he waved agitated hands at jacques. "you hinder me! you retard me! you upset monsieur! _va-t-en!_" jacques obeyed meekly, and philip turned back to the mirror. to him came franã§ois, wreathed once more in smiles. "he means well, _ce bon jacques_," he said, busy with the cravat. "but he is _sot_, you understand, _trã¨s sot_!" he pushed philip's chin up with a gentle hand. "he annoys m'sieur, _ah oui_! but he is a good _garã§on_, when all is said." "it is you who annoy me," answered philip. "not so tight, not so tight! do you wish to choke me?" "_pardon_, m'sieur! no, it is not franã§ois who annoys you! _ah, mille fois non!_ franã§ois--perhaps he is a little monkey, if m'sieur says so, but he is a very good valet, _n'est-ce pas_? a monkey, if m'sieur pleases, but very clever with a cravat. m'sieur has said it himself." "you are a child," said philip. "yes, that is very fair." he studied his reflection. "i am pleased with it." "aha!" franã§ois clasped his hands delightedly. "m'sieur is no longer enraged! _voyons_, i go to fetch the vest of m'sieur!" presently, kneeling before his master and adjusting his stockings, he volunteered another piece of information. "me, i have been in this country before. i understand well the ways of it. i understand the english, oh, _de part en part_! i know them for a foolish race, _en somme_--saving always m'sieur, who is more french than english--but never, never have i had the misfortune to meet so terrible an englishman as this servant of m'sieur's uncle, this moggat. _si entãªtã©, si impoli!_ he looks on me with a suspicion! i cannot tell m'sieur of his so churlish demeanour! he thinks, perhaps, that i go to take his fine coat. bah! i spit upon it! i speak to him as m'sieur has bid me--_trã¨s doucement_. he pretends he cannot understand what it is i say! me, who speak english _aussi bien que le franã§ais_! deign to enter into these shoes, m'sieur! i tell him i hold him in contempt! he makes a _reniflement_ in his nose, and he mutters 'damned leetle frog-eater!' _grand dieu_, i could have boxed his ears, the impudent!" "i hope you did not?" said philip anxiously. "ah, bah! would i so demean myself, m'sieur? it is i who am of a peaceable nature, _n'est-ce pas_? but jacques--_voyons, c'est autre chose_! he is possessed of the hot temper, _ce pauvre_ jacques. i fear for that moggat if he enrages our jacques." he shook his head solemnly, and picked up the grey satin coat. "if m'sieur would find it convenient to rise? ah, _bien_!" he coaxed philip into the coat, bit by bit. "i say to you, m'sieur, i am consumed of an anxiety. jacques, he is a veritable fire-eater when he is roused, not like me, who am always _doux comme un enfant_. i think, perhaps, he will refuse to remain in the house with this pig of a moggat." philip shook out his ruffles. "i have never noticed that jacques showed signs of a so violent temper," he remarked. "but no! of a surety, he would not exhibit his terrible passion to m'sieur! is it that i should permit him?" "well," philip slipped a ring on to his finger, "i am sorry for jacques, but he must be patient. soon i shall go to a house of my own." franã§ois' face cleared as if by magic. "m'sieur is kind! a house of his own. _je me rangerai bien!_ m'sieur contemplates a _mariage_, perhaps?" philip dropped his snuff-box. "_que diable--?_" he began, and checked himself. "mind your own business, franã§ois!" "_ah, pardon, m'sieur!_" replied the irrepressible franã§ois. "i but thought that m'sieur had the desire to wed, that he should return to england so hurriedly!" "hold your tongue!" said philip sharply. "understand me, franã§ois, i'll have no meddling _bavardage_ about me either to my face or below stairs! _c'est entendu?_" "but yes, m'sieur," said franã§ois, abashed. "it is that my tongue runs away with me." "you'd best keep a guard over it," answered philip curtly. "yes, m'sieur!" meekly he handed philip his cane and handkerchief. then, as his master still frowned, "m'sieur is still enraged?" he ventured. philip glanced down at him. at the sight of franã§ois' anxious, naã¯ve expression, the frown faded, and he laughed. "you are quite ridiculous," he said. franã§ois broke into responsive smiles at once. * * * * * but when philip had rustled away to join his uncle, the little valet nodded shrewdly to himself and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "_en vã©ritã©, c'est une femme_," he remarked. "_c'est ce que j'ai cru._" twelve philip plays a dangerous game franã§ois endured the detestable moggat for a week. he was then rewarded for his patience by the news that philip was shortly to move into a small house in curzon street, which belonged to a friend of tom. this gentleman consented to let his house for the space of two months, as he was going abroad for that time. philip went to inspect the prospective abode, and found it to be furnished in excellent style. he closed with its owner and went back to half-moon street to break the joyful news to franã§ois. from that moment the excitable valet's spirits soared high. he would manage the affairs of the house for m'sieur; he would find m'sieur a _chef_. philip was content to waive responsibility. franã§ois sallied forth with the air of one about to conquer, to find, so he told philip, the son of his aunt, a very fair _chef_ and a good _garã§on_. philip had no idea that franã§ois possessed any relations, much less one in london. when he said this, franã§ois looked very waggish, and admitted that he himself had forgotten the existence of this cousin until the moment when m'sieur told him of the new home. "then, _subitement_, i remember, for m'sieur will require a _chef_ is it not so?" "assuredly," said philip. "but your cousin may not wish to take service with me, in which case i shall seek an english cook." "an english cook? ah, bah! is it that i would permit m'sieur to be so ill served? no! m'sieur shall have a french _chef, bien sã»r_. what does an englishman know of the _cuisine_? is m'sieur to be insulted by the tasteless, watery vegetables of such as the wife of moggat? no! i go to find my cousin!" "very well," said philip. "and then we have a household _bien tenu_. it is our poor jacques who could not support an englishman in the house." "i hope i am not to be excluded?" smiled philip. "_m'sieur se moque de moi!_ is it that m'sieur is english? m'sieur is _tout comme un franã§ais_." he bustled away, full of importance. the cousin was forthcoming, a stout, good-tempered soul, who rejoiced in the name of marie-guillaume. franã§ois exhibited him with pride, and he was engaged. that ended all philip's responsibility. franã§ois gathered up the reins of government, and in a week they were installed in curzon street. philip had done no more than say that he wished to enter his new abode on thursday. on thursday he went out to ranelagh; when he returned to half-moon street he found that his baggage had gone. he took his leave of tom, and walked up the road and round the corner, into curzon street. his house was as neat as a new pin; his baggage was unpacked; franã§ois was complacent. they might have lived in the house for months; there was no disorder, no fuss, none of the slow settling down. franã§ois, jacques and marie-guillaume had fitted into their respective niches in one short hour. philip was moved to inform franã§ois that he was a treasure. that evening he went to a ball given by the duchess of queensberry. and there he met cleone, for the first time since his return to england. the duchess welcomed him effusively, for already philip was a _persona grata_ in society, and much sought after by hostesses. tom had lost no time in introducing him to the fashionable world. the ladies were captivated by his french air, and ogled him shamelessly. then men found that he was, for all his graces, singularly modest and unaffected at heart, and they extended the hand of friendship towards him. people began to look for him, and to be disappointed if he were absent. until now, however, philip had seen nothing of cleone, but on all sides he had heard of her. she was, he learned, london's newest beauty. * * * * * she was dancing when philip saw her first, smiling up at her partner with blue eyes that seemed bluer than ever, and lips that lay in a happy curve. her golden hair was unpowdered and piled in curls upon the top of her head. philip thought she was more beautiful than ever. he stood apart, watching her. she had not seen him; she was not even thinking of him; those eyes were clear and joyous. who was her partner? brainless-looking fool! simpering ninny! ay, that was all she cared for! philip's hand clenched slowly on his snuff-box. "aha, jettan! you have espied the lovely cleone?" philip turned. lord charles fairfax stood at his elbow. "yes," he said. "but how stern and forbidding!" exclaimed fairfax. "what ails you?" philip's mouth lost its hard line. "i am struck dumb," he answered gaily. "can you wonder at it?" "so are we all. she is very beautiful, is she not?" "ravishing!" agreed philip. he saw cleone's partner lead her to a chair. "will you present me?" "what! and destroy my own chances? we have heard of your killing ways with the fair sex!" "i protest i have been maligned!" cried philip. "i do implore your mercy! present me!" "against my will, then!" said his lordship roguishly. he walked forward to where cleone sat. "mistress cleone, have you no smile for the humblest of your admirers?" cleone turned her head. "oh, lord charles! give you good even, sir! do you know you have not been near me the whole evening? i am monstrous hurt, i assure you!" "dear lady, how was i to come near you?" protested fairfax. "until this moment you have been surrounded." cleone gave a happy little laugh. "i am sure 'tis untrue, sir! you delight in teasing me!" her eyes wandered past him to philip. fairfax drew him forward. "mistress cleone, may i present one who is newly come from paris, and is, he swears, struck dumb by your beauty? mr. jettan, of whom we all know some naughty tales!" the colour drained from cleone's cheeks. she felt faint all at once, and her fingers gripped together over her fan. for one moment she thought she must be mistaken. this was not philip, this foppish gentleman who stood bowing so profoundly! heavens, he was speaking! it _was_ philip! how could she mistake that square chin? "mademoiselle, this is a scarce-hoped-for honour," he said. "i have watched and i have hungered. lord charles took pity on me, for which i shall never cease to thank him." cleone tried to answer, and failed. dazedly she stared at him, from the powdered curls of his wig to the diamond buckles on his shoes. philip! _philip!_ philip in stiff silks and laces! philip patched and painted! philip with jewels scattered about his person, and polished nails! was she dreaming? this foppish gentleman her blunt philip? it was incredible, impossible! what was he saying now? "i little thought to find you here, mademoiselle! you are with madame charteris, no doubt?" cleone collected her scattered wits. an awful numbness was stealing over her. "no, i--i am with my aunt, lady malmerstoke," she answered. "lady malmerstoke?..." philip raised his quizzing-glass with one delicate white hand, and through it scanned the room. "ah yes, the lady in the apple-green toilette! i remember her well, that lady." "oh--do you--do you know her?" asked cleone. she could not drag her eyes from his face. "i had the felicity of meeting her some nights ago. i forget where." "r--really?" cleone decided that this was a nightmare. philip sat down beside her. "you have been long in town, mademoiselle? you find all this very fatiguing, no doubt?" he waved a languid hand. indignation was dispersing the numbness. how dared philip drawl at her like this? how dared he behave as though they were strangers? "i have been in london nigh on a month. i do not find it fatiguing at all. i enjoy it." slowly the straight brows rose. "but how refreshing!" said philip. "when everyone is _ennuyã©_ ã  _l'agonie_, how delightful to meet one who frankly enjoys." he looked at her admiringly. "and enjoyment becomes you better than boredom becomes other women." cleone felt that she was drifting further and further into the nightmare. "i am happy to find favour in your eyes, sir. when did you return from paris?" "a fortnight since. in a fog which chilled me to the marrow. almost i fled back to france. but now"--he bowed gracefully--"i thank a kindly fate which forbade me to retreat thus precipitately." "indeed?" said cleone tartly. "how do you find sir maurice?" "as yet i have not found him," replied philip. there was a laugh at the back of his eyes. how dared he laugh at her? "i have written to beg him to honour my house with his presence." "you do not propose to go to him?" cleone's voice trembled. philip started. "mademoiselle speaks _en plaisantant_? the country in this weather?" he shuddered. "i see," said cleone, and thought that she spoke the truth. her foot tapped the ground angrily. philip eyed it through his glass. "that little foot ..." he said softly. it was withdrawn. "ah, cruel! it inspired me with--i think--a madrigal. cased in silver satin.... ah!" "it pleases you to make merry of my foot, sir?" "_jamais de ma vie!_" philip threw out his hands. "it is neither food for merriment nor sighs. it is food for pure joy. my eye, _chã¨re mademoiselle_, is susceptible to beauty, be it beauty of face, or beauty of foot; the eye whispers to the brain, and a madrigal blossoms. i dare swear you have listened to an hundred such? everywhere i have heard tell of your conquests until i am nigh dead with jealousy." "how very absurd!" tittered cleone. "absurd? ah, if i could think that!" "i do not understand you, sir!" "i can only beg that i, too, may worship at those little feet." "mr. jettan, i can only beg that you will cease to make yourself ridiculous." "if it is ridiculous to adore, then must i refuse to obey you, fairest. for the sake of one smile, all would i do, save that which is without my power." cleone's eyes glittered. "you have become very adept at flattery, sir." "but no! flattery shall never be among my accomplishments, even were it necessary, which here"--he smiled ardently--"it most assuredly is not." "you surprise me, sir! i thought paris to be the home of flattery." "_on l'a diffamã©e._ paris teaches appreciation." "la!" cleone, too, could be affected. "you go too deep for me, mr. jettan! i fear i am no match for your wit. i am but newly come from the country." the words bit. "it is almost inconceivable," he said, studying her with the air of a connoisseur. "almost as inconceivable as the fact that little more than six months ago you despised all this!" she made a gesture with her fan towards his shimmering coat. "was it only six months? it seems to belong to another life. you remember so well, mademoiselle." "i?" cleone saw her mistake, and made haste to cover it. "no, sir. it is dear sir maurice who remembers." her eyes sought his face for some change of expression. but not an eyelash flickered; mr. jettan was still smiling. "now i am desolated!" he sighed. "mademoiselle cleone does not remember the manner of my going? but i see that it is so. she is blessed with forgetfulness." cleone's heart leaped. was there a note of _pique_, of hurt, in the smooth voice? "my memory is not of the longest either, mademoiselle, but i am sure that i am indebted to you." "really? i think you must be mistaken, sir." "it is possible," he bowed. "yet i seem to recollect that 'twas you who bade me go--to learn to be a gentleman." cleone laughed carelessly. "did i?--it is so long ago, i have forgotten. and--and here is mr. winton come to claim me!" philip glanced round quickly. young james winton was threading his way towards them. philip sprang up. "james!" he held out his hands to the puzzled youth. "you have forgotten, james? and it is, so mademoiselle tells me, but six months since i saw you every day." winton stared. then suddenly he grasped philip's jewelled hand. "jettan--philip! merciful heavens, man, is it indeed you?" "he is quite transformed, is he not?" said cleone lightly. a little barb was piercing her heart that philip should show such pleasure at seeing james, and merely bored affectation with her. philip's gay laugh rang out. "i shall write a sonnet in melancholy vein," he promised. "a sonnet to "friends who knew me not." it will be a _chef-d'[oe]uvre_, and i shall send it you tied with a sprig of myrtle." winton stepped back the better to observe him. "thunder and turf, tis marvellous! what's this about a sonnet? don't tell me ye have turned poet!" "in paris they do not love my verses," mourned philip. "they would say, 'no, _le petit philippe se trompe_.' but you shall see! where are you staying?" "with darchit--in jermyn street. i came to london in my lady's train." he bowed to cleone. philip's eyes narrowed. "aha! james, you will come to a card-party that i am giving to-morrow? i am at 14 curzon street." "thank you very much, i shall be delighted. have you set up a house of your own?" "sir humphrey grandcourt has hired his house to me for a month or so. my _mã©nage_ will amuse you. i am ruled by my valet, the redoubtable franã§ois." "a french valet!" "but yes! he would allow no english servant to insult me with his boorishness, so i have his cousin for _chef_." he threw a laughing glance at cleone. "you would smile, mademoiselle, could you but hear his so fierce denunciation of the english race." cleone forced a laugh. "i suppose he does not regard you as english, mr. jettan?" "if i suggest such a thing he accuses me of mocking him. ah, there is miss florence who beckons me! mademoiselle will excuse me?" he bowed with a great flourish. "i shall hope to be allowed to wait on madame, your aunt. james, do not forget! to-morrow at 14 curzon street!" he swept round on his heel and went quickly to where mistress florence farmer was seated. cleone watched him kiss the lady's plump hand, and saw the ogling glances that florence sent him. desperately she sought to swallow the lump in her throat. she started to flirt with the adoring james. out of the corner of his eye philip watched her. * * * * * scalding tears dropped on to cleone's pillow that night. philip had returned, indifferent, _blasã©_, even scornful! philip who had once loved her so dearly, philip who had once been so strong and masterful, was now a dainty, affected court gallant. why, why had she sent him away? and, oh, how dared he treat her with that mocking admiration? suddenly cleone sat up. "i hate him!" she told the bed-post. "i hate him, and hate him, and hate him." * * * * * philip was smiling when franã§ois disrobed him, a smile that held much of tenderness. "_cela marche_," decided franã§ois. "i go to have a mistress." thirteen sir maurice comes to town a tall gentleman rang the bell of mr. thomas jettan's house with some vigour. the door was presently opened by the depressed moggat. "where's your master, moggat?" demanded the visitor abruptly. moggat held the door wide. "in the library, sir. will you step inside?" sir maurice swept in. he gave his cloak and hat to moggat and walked to the library door. moggat watched him somewhat fearfully. it was not often that sir maurice showed signs of perturbation. "by the way--" sir maurice paused, looking back. "my baggage follows me." "very good, sir." sir maurice opened the door and disappeared. * * * * * thomas was seated at his desk, but at the sound of the opening door he turned. "why, maurry!" he sprang up. "gad, this is a surprise! how are ye, lad?" he wrung his brother's hand. sir maurice flung a sheet of paper on to the table. "what the devil's the meaning of _that_?" he demanded. "why the heat?" asked the surprised thomas. "read that--that impertinence!" ordered sir maurice. tom picked up the paper and spread it open. at sight of the writing he smiled. "oh, philip!" he remarked. "philip? philip write me that letter? it's no more philip than--than a cock-robin!" tom sat down. "oh, yes it is!" he said. "i recognise his hand. now don't tramp up and down like that, maurry! sit down!" he glanced down the sheet and smothered a laugh. "'my very dear papa,'" he read aloud. "'i do trust that you are enjoying your customary good health and that these fogs and bitter winds have not permeated so far as to little fittledean. as you will observe by the above written address, i have returned to this most barbarous land. for how long i shall allow myself to be persuaded to remain i cannot tell you, but after the affinity of paris and the charm of the parisians, london is quite insupportable. but for the present i remain, _malgrã© tout_. you will forgive me, i know, that i do not come to visit you at the pride. the mere thought of the country at this season fills me with incalculable dismay. so i suggest, dear father, that you honour me by enlivening with your presence this house that i have acquired from sir humphrey grandcourt. some small entertainment i can promise you, and my friends assure me that the culinary efforts of my _chef_ are beyond compare. an exaggeration, believe me, which one who has tasted the wonders of a paris _cuisine_ will easily descry. i have to convey to you the compliments of m. de chã¢teau-banvau and others. i would write more but that i am in labour with an ode. believe me, dear father, thy most devoted, humble, and obedient son,--philippe.'" tom folded the paper. "very proper," he remarked. "what's amiss?" sir maurice had stalked to the window. now he turned. "what's amiss? everything's amiss! that philip--my son philip!--should write me a--an impertinent letter like that! it's--it's monstrous!" "for god's sake, sit down, maurry! you're as bad as philip himself for restlessness! now i take this as a very dutiful, filial letter." "dutiful be damned!" snorted sir maurice. "has the boy no other feelings than he shows in that letter? why did he not come down to see me?" tom re-opened the letter. "the mere thought of the country at this season appalled him. what's wrong with that? you have said the same." "i? i? what matters it what i should have said? i thought philip cared for me! he trusts i will enliven his house with my presence! i'm more like to break my stick across his back!" "not a whit," said tom, cheerfully. "you sent philip away to acquire polish, and i don't know what besides. he has obeyed you. is it likely that, being what he now is, he'll fly back to the country? what's the matter with you, maurice? are you grumbling because he has obeyed your behests?" sir maurice sank on to the couch. "if you but knew how i have missed him and longed for him," he began, and checked himself. "i am well served," he said bitterly. "i should have been content to have him as he was." "so i thought at the time, but i've changed my opinion." "i cannot bear to think of philip as being callous, flippant, and--a mere fop!" "'twould be your own fault if he were," said tom severely. "but he's not. something inside him has blossomed forth. philip is now pure joy." sir maurice grunted. "it's true, lad. that letter--oh, ay! he's a young rascal, but 'twas to avenge his injured feelings, i take it. he was devilish hurt when you and cleone sent him away betwixt you. he's still hurt that you should have done it. i can't fathom the workings of his mind, but he assures me they are very complex. he is glad that you sent him, but he wants you to be sorry. or rather, cleone. the lad is very forgiving to you"--tom laughed--"but that letter is a piece of devilry--he has plenty of it, i warn you! he hoped you'd be as angry as you are and wish your work undone. there's no lack of affection." sir maurice looked up. "he's--the same philip?" "never think it! in a way he's the same, but there's more of him--ay, and a score of affectations. in about ten minutes"--he glanced at the clock--"he'll be here. so you'll see for yourself." sir maurice straightened himself. he sighed. "an old fool, eh, tom? but it cut me to the quick, that letter." "of course it did, the young devil! oh, maurry, maurry, ye never saw the like of our philip!" "is he so remarkable? i heard about that absurd duel, as i told you. there'll be a reckoning between him and cleone." "ay. that's what i don't understand. the pair of them are playing a queer game. old sally malmerstoke told me that cleone vows she hates philip. the chit is flirting outrageously with every man who comes--always under philip's nose. and philip laughs. yet i'll swear he means to have her. i don't interfere. they must work out their own quarrel." "clo doesn't hate philip," said sir maurice. "she was pining for him until that fool bancroft read us satterthwaite's letter. was it true that philip fought over some french hussy?" "no, over clo herself. but he says naught, and if the truth were told, i believe it's because he has had _affaires_ in paris, even if that was not one. he's too dangerously popular." "so it seemed from satterthwaite's account. is he so popular? i cannot understand it." "he's novel, y'see. i'd a letter from chã¢teau-banvau the other day, mourning the loss of _ce cher petit_ philippe, and demanding whether he had found his heart or no!" sir maurice drove his cane downwards. "by gad, if philip's so great a success, it's--it's more than ever i expected," he ended lamely. "wait till you see him!" smiled thomas. "the boy's for all the world like a bit o' quicksilver. he splutters out french almost every time he opens his mouth, and--here he is!" a door banged loudly outside, and a clear, crisp voice floated into the library from the hall. "_mordieu_, what a climate! moggat, you rogue, am i not depressed enough without your glum face to make me more so? smile, _vieux crã©tin_, for the love of god!" "were i to call moggat one-half of the names philip bestows on him, he'd leave me," remarked tom. "with him, philip can do no wrong. now what's to do?" "_doucement, malheureux!_ gently, i say! do you wish to pull my arms off with the coat? _ah, voilã !_ spread it to dry, moggat, and take care not to crease it. yes, that is well!" then came moggat's voice, very self-conscious. "_c'est comme moosoo dã©sire?_" there was a sound of hand-clapping, and an amused laugh. "_voyons, c'est fameux!_ quite the french scholar, eh, moggat? where's my uncle? in the library?" came a quick step across the hall. philip swirled into the room. "much have i borne in silence, tom, but this rain--" he broke off. the next moment he was on one knee before his father, sir maurice's thin hands pressed to his lips. "father!" tom coughed and walked to the window. sir maurice drew his hands away. he took philip's chin in his long fingers and forced his head up. silently he scrutinised his son's face. then he smiled. "you patched and painted puppy-dog," he mimicked softly. philip laughed. his hands found sir maurice's again and gripped hard. "alack, too true! father, you're looking older." "impudent young scapegrace! what would you? i have but one son." "and you missed him?" "a little," acknowledged sir maurice. philip rose to his feet. "ah, but i am glad! and you are sorry you sent him away?" "not now. but when i received this--very." sir maurice held out the sheet of paper. "that! bah!" philip sent it whirling into the fire. "for that i apologise. if you had not been hurt--oh, heaven knows what i should have done! where is your baggage, father?" "here by now." "here? but no, no! it must go to curzon street!" "my dear son, i thank you very much, but an old man is better with an old man." tom wheeled round. "what's that? who are you calling an old man, maurry? i'm as young as ever i was!" "in any case, it is to curzon street that you come, father." "as often as you wish, dear boy, but i'll stay with tom." then, as philip prepared to argue the point, "no, philip, my mind is made up. sit down and tell me the tale of your ridiculous duel with bancroft." "oh, that!" philip laughed. "it was amusing, but scandalous. my sympathies were with my adversary." "and what was the ode you threatened to read?" "an ode to importunate friends, especially composed for the occasion. they took it from me--paul and louis--oh, and henri de chatelin! they do not like my verse." sir maurice lay back in his seat and laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks. "gad, philip, but i wish i'd been there! to hear you declaim an ode of your own making! faith, is it really my blunt, brusque, impossible philip?" "not at all! it is your elegant, smooth, and wholly possible philip!" sir maurice sat up again. "ah! and does this philip contemplate marriage?" "that," said his son, "is on the knees of the gods." "i see. is it woe unto him who seeks to interfere?" "_parfaitement!_" bowed philip. "i play now--a little game." "and cleone?" "cleone ... i don't know. it is what i wish to find out. lady malmerstoke stands my friend." "trust sally," said tom. philip's eyes sparkled. "ah, tom, tom, art a rogue! father, he is in love with her ladyship!" "he always has been," answered sir maurice. "even before old malmerstoke died." tom cleared his throat. "i--" "then why do you not wed her?" demanded philip. "she would not. now she says--perhaps. we are very good friends," he added contentedly. "i doubt neither of us is at the age when one loves with heat." "philip, how do you like paris?" interrupted sir maurice. "i cannot tell you, sir! my feeling for paris and my paris friends is beyond all words." "ay. i thought the same. but in the end one is glad to come home." "may it please heaven, then, to make the end far, far away," said philip. "when i go back, you will go with me, father." "ah, i am too old for that now," answered sir maurice. he smiled reminiscently. "too old? _quelle absurditã©!_ m. de chã¢teau-banvau has made me swear to bring you. m. de richelieu asked when he was to see your face again. a score--" "de richelieu? where did you meet him, boy?" "at versailles. he was very kind to me for your sake." "ay, he would be. so you went to versailles, then!" "often." "philip, i begin to think you are somewhat of a rake. what attracted you to versailles?" "many things," parried philip. "female things?" "what curiosity! sometimes, yes, but not _au sã©rieux_." "little philip without a heart, eh?" "who told you that?" philip leaned forward. "satterthwaite wrote it, or something like it." "_le petit_ philippe au _c[oe]ur perdu_. most of them would give their eyes to know who the fair unknown may be!" "is it still cleone?" sir maurice looked sharply across at him. "it has--never been anyone else," answered philip simply. "i am glad. i want you to marry her, philip." "sir," said philip superbly, "i have every intention of so doing." fourteen the strange behaviour of mistress cleone "franã§ois, there is one below who desires m'sieu." franã§ois shook out a fine lace ruffle. "_qui est-ce?_" "_le pã¨re de m'sieur_," answered jacques gloomily. franã§ois cast the ruffle aside. "_le pã¨re de m'sieur!_ i go at once." he vanished out of the door and scuttled downstairs to the library. sir maurice was startled by his sudden entrance, and raised his eyeglass the better to observe this very abrupt, diminutive creature. franã§ois bowed very low. "m'sieu, eet ees zat my mastaire 'e ees wiz hees _barbier_. eef m'sieu would come up to ze chamber of my mastaire?" sir maurice smiled. "_assurã©ment. vous allez marcher en tãªte?_" franã§ois' face broke into a delighted smile. "_ah, m'sieur parle franã§ais! si m'sieur veut me suivre?_" "_m'sieur veut bien_," nodded sir maurice. he followed franã§ois upstairs to philip's luxurious bedroom. franã§ois put forward a chair. "m'sieur will be graciously pleased to seat himself? m'sieur philippe will come very soon. it is the visit of the barber, you understand." "a serious matter," agreed sir maurice. "m'sieur understands well. me, i am valet of m'sieur philippe." "i had guessed it. you are franã§ois?" "yes, m'sieur. it is perhaps that m'sieur philippe has spoken of me?" he looked anxiously at sir maurice. "certainly he has spoken of you," smiled sir maurice. "it is perhaps--that he tell you i am _un petit singe_?" "no, he said no such thing," answered sir maurice gravely. "he told me he possessed a veritable treasure for a valet." "ah!" franã§ois clapped his hands. "it is true, m'sieur. i am a very good valet--oh, but very good!" he skipped to the bed and picked up an embroidered satin vest. this he laid over a chair-back. "the vest of m'sieur philippe," he said reverently. "so i see," said sir maurice. "what's he doing, lying abed so late?" "_ah, non, m'sieur!_ he does not lie abed late! oh, but never, never. it is that the barber is here, and the tailor--imbeciles, both! they put m'sieur philippe in a bad humour with their so terrible stupidity. he spends an hour explaining what it is that he wishes." franã§ois cast up his eyes. "and they do not understand, no! they are of so great a density! m'sieur philippe he become much enraged, naturally." "monsieur philippe is very particular, eh?" franã§ois beamed. he was opening various pots in readiness for his master. "yes, m'sieur. m'sieur philippe must have everything just as he likes it." at that moment philip walked in, wrapped in a gorgeous silk robe, and looking thunderous. when he saw his father his brow cleared. "you, sir? have you waited long?" "no, only ten minutes or so. have you strangled the tailor?" philip laughed. "_de prã¨s! franã§ois_, i will be alone with m'sieur." franã§ois bowed. he went out with his usual hurried gait. philip sat down before his dressing-table. "what do you think of the incomparable franã§ois?" he asked. "he startled me at first," smiled sir maurice. "a droll little creature." "but quite inimitable. you're out early this morning, sir?" "my dear philip, it is close on noon! i have been to see cleone." philip picked up a nail-polisher and passed it gently across his fingers. "ah?" "philip, i am worried." "yes?" philip was intent on his nails. "and why?" "i don't understand the child! i could have sworn she was dying for you to return!" philip glanced up quickly. "that is true?" "i thought so. at home--yes, i am certain of it! but now she seems a changed being." he frowned, looking at his son. philip was again occupied with his hands. "she is in excellent spirits; she tells me that she enjoys every moment of every day. she was in ecstasies! i spoke of you and she was quite indifferent. what have you done to make her so, philip?" "i do not quite know. i have become what she would have had me. to test her, i aped the mincing extravagance of the typical town-gallant. she was surprised at first, and then angry. that pleased me. i thought: cleone does not like the thing i am; she would prefer the real me. then i waited on lady malmerstoke. cleone was there. she was, as you say, quite changed. i suppose she was charming; it did not seem so to me. she laughed and flirted with her fan; she encouraged me to praise her beauty; she demanded the madrigal i had promised her. when i read it she was delighted. she asked her aunt if i were not a dreadful, flattering creature. then came young winton, who is, i take it, _amoureux ã  en perdre la tãªte_. to him she was all smiles, behaving like some court miss. since then she has always been the same. she is kind to every man who comes her way, and to me. you say you do not understand? nor do i. she is not the cleone i knew, and not the cleone i love. she makes herself as--clothilde de chaucheron. _charmante, spirituelle_, one to whom a man makes trifling love, but not the one a man will wed." he spoke quietly, and with none of his usual sparkle. sir maurice leaned forward, striking his fist on his knee. "but she is not that type of woman, philip! that's what i can't understand!" philip shrugged slightly. "she is not, you say? i wonder now whether that is so. she flirted before, you remember, with bancroft." "ay! to tease you!" "_cela se peut._ this time it is not to tease me. that i know." "but, philip, if it is not for that, why does she do it?" "presumably because she so wishes. it is possible that the adulation she receives has flown to her head. it is almost as though she sought to captivate me." "cleone would never do such a thing!" "well, sir, you will see. come with us this afternoon. tom and i are bidden to take a dish of bohea with her ladyship." "sally has already asked me. i shall certainly come. _mordieu_, what ails the child?" philip rubbed some rouge on to his cheeks. "if you can tell me the answer to that riddle, sir, i shall--thank you." "you do care, philip? still?" he watched philip pick up the haresfoot with fingers that trembled a little. "care?" said philip. "i--yes, sir. i care--greatly." * * * * * lady malmerstoke glanced critically at her niece. "you are very gay, clo," she remarked. "gay?" cried cleone. "how could i be sober, aunt sally? i am enjoying myself so much!" lady malmerstoke pushed a bracelet farther up one plump arm. "h'm!" she said. "it's very unfashionable, my dear, not to say _bourgeois_." "oh, fiddle!" answered cleone. "who thinks that?" "i really don't know. it is what one says. to be in the mode you must be fatigued to death." "then i am not in the mode," laughed cleone. "don't forget, aunt, that i am but a simple country-maid!" she swept a mock curtsey. "no," said her ladyship placidly. "one is not like to forget it." "what do you mean?" demanded cleone. "don't eat me," sighed her aunt. "'tis your principal charm--freshness." "oh!" said cleone doubtfully. "or it was," added lady malmerstoke, folding her hands and closing her eyes. "was! aunt sally, i insist that you tell me what it is you mean!" "my love, you know very well what i mean." "no, i do not! i--i--aunt sally, wake up!" her ladyship's brown eyes opened. "well, my dear, if you must have it, 'tis this--you make yourself cheap by your flirtatious ways." cleone's cheeks flamed. "i--oh, i don't f--flirt! i--auntie, how can you say so?" "quite easily," said her ladyship. "else had i left it unsaid. since this mr. philip jettan has returned you have acquired all the tricks of the sex. i do not find it becoming in you, but mayhap i am wrong." "it has nothing to do with ph--mr. jettan!" "i beg your pardon, my dear, i thought it had. but if you wish to attract him--" "aunt!" almost shrieked cleone. "i wish you would not interrupt," complained lady malmerstoke wearily. "i said if you wish to attract him you should employ less obvious methods." "h--how _dare_ you, aunt sally! i wish to attract him? i hate him! i hate the very sight of him!" the sleepy brown eyes grew more alert. "is that the way the wind lies?" murmured lady malmerstoke. "what's he done?" she added, ever practical. "he hasn't done anything. he--i--" "then what hasn't he done?" "aunt sally--aunt sally--you--i won't answer! he--nothing at all! 'tis merely that i do not like him." "it's not apparent in your manner," remarked her ladyship. "are you determined that he shall fall in love with you?" "of course i never thought of such a thing! i--why should i?" "for the pleasure of seeing him at your feet, and then kicking him away. revenge, my love, revenge." "how dare you say such things, aunt! it--it isn't true!" lady malmerstoke continued to pursue her own line of thought. "from all i can see of this philip, he's not the man to be beaten by a chit of a girl. i think he is in love with you. have a care, my dear. men with chins like his are not safe. i've had experience, and i know. he'll win in the end, if he has a mind to do so." "mind!" cleone was scornful. "he has no mind above clothes or poems!" lady malmerstoke eyed her lazily. "who told you that, clo?" "no one. i can see for myself." "there is nothing blinder than a very young woman," philosophised her ladyship. "one lives and one learns. your philip--" "he isn't my philip!" cried cleone, nearly in tears. "you put me out," complained her aunt. "your philip is no fool. he's dangerous. on account of that chin, you understand. don't have him, my dear; he's one of your masterful men. they are the worst; old jeremy fletcher was like that. dear me, what years ago that was!" "he--he's no more masterful than--than his uncle!" "no, thank heaven, tom's an easy-going creature," agreed her aunt. "a pity philip is not the same." "but i tell you he is! if--if he were more masterful i should like him better! i like a man to be a man and not--a--a pranked-out doll!" "how you have changed!" sighed her aunt. "i thought that was just what you did not want. didn't you send your philip away to become a beau?" "he is not my philip--aunt! i--no, of course i did--didn't. and if i d-did, it was very st-stupid of me, and now i'd rather have a--a masterful man." "ay, we're all like that in our youth," nodded her aunt. "when you grow older you'll appreciate the milder sort. i nearly married jerry fletcher. luckily i changed my mind and had malmerstoke. god rest his soul, poor fellow! now i shall have tom, i suppose." cleone broke into a hysterical laugh. "aunt, you are incorrigible! how can you talk so?" "dreadful, isn't it? but i was always like that. very attractive, you know. i never was beautiful, but i made a great success. i quite shocked my poor mother. but it was all a pose, of course. it made me noticed. i was so amusing and novel--like you, my love, but in a different way. all a pose." "why, is it still a pose, aunt?" "oh, now it's a habit. so much less fatiguing, my dear. but to return to what i was saying, you--" "don't--don't let's talk--about me," begged cleone unsteadily. "i--hardly know what possesses me, but--oh, there's the bell!" lady malmerstoke dragged herself up. "already? clo, is my wig on straight? drat the men, i've not had a wink of sleep the whole afternoon. a nice hag i shall look to-night. which of them is it, my dear?" cleone was peering out of the window. "'tis james and jennifer, aunt." she came back into the room. "it seems an age since i saw jenny." lady malmerstoke studied herself in her little mirror. "is she the child who lives down in the country?" "yes--jenny winton, such a sweet little thing. she has come up with mr. winton for a few weeks. i am so glad she managed to induce him to bring her!" cleone ran forward as the two wintons were ushered in. "jenny, dear!" jennifer was half a head shorter than cleone, a shy child with soft grey eyes and mouse-coloured hair. she flung her arms round cleone's neck. "oh, clo, how prodigious elegant you look!" she whispered. "and oh, jenny, how pretty you look!" retorted cleone. "aunt sally, this is my dear jennifer!" jennifer curtseyed. "how do you do, ma'am?" she said in a voice fluttering with nervousness. "i am very well, child. come and sit down beside me." she patted the couch invitingly. "is this your first visit to town, my dear?" jennifer sat down on the edge of the couch. she stole an awed glance at lady malmerstoke's powdered wig. "yes, ma'am. it is so exciting." "i'll warrant it is! and have you been to many balls, yet?" "n-no." the little face clouded over. "papa does not go out very much," she explained. cleone sank on to a stool beside them, her silks swirling about her. "oh, auntie, please take jenny to the dering ball next week!" she said impulsively. "you will come, won't you, sweet?" jennifer blushed and stammered. "to be sure," nodded her ladyship. "of course she will come! james, sit down! you should know by now how the sight of anyone on their feet fatigues me, silly boy! dear me, child, how like you are to your brother! are you looking at my wig? monstrous, isn't it?" jennifer was covered with confusion. "oh, no, ma'am, i--" her ladyship chuckled. "of course you were. how could you help it? cleone tells me it is a ridiculous creation, don't you, my love?" "i do, and i truly think it!" answered cleone, her eyes dancing. "'tis just a little more impossible than the last." "there!" lady malmerstoke turned back to jennifer. "she is an impertinent hussy, is she not?" "could she be impertinent?" asked james fondly. "very easily she could, and is," nodded her ladyship. "a minx." "oh!" jennifer was shocked. "don't attend to her!" besought cleone. "sometimes she is very ill-natured, as you see." jennifer ventured a very small laugh. she had resolutely dragged her eyes from the prodigious wig, and was now gazing at cleone. "you--you seem quite different," she told her. cleone shook her golden head. "'tis only that aunt sally has tricked me out in fine clothes," she replied. "i'm--oh, i am the same!" she laughed, but not very steadily. "am i not, james?" "always the same," he said ardently. "always beautiful." "i will not have it," said lady malmerstoke severely. "you'll turn the child's head, if 'tis not turned already." "oh, it is, it is!" cried cleone. "i am quite too dreadfully vain! and there is the bell again! james, who is it? it's vastly bad-mannered to peep, but you may do it. quick!" james went to the window. "too late," he said. "they are in, whoever they are." "'twill be thomas," decided lady malmerstoke. "i wonder if he is any fatter?" jennifer giggled. she had never met anything quite like this queer, voluminous old lady before. "is--is sir maurice coming?" she inquired. "i told him to be sure to come," answered her ladyship. "you know him, don't you?" "oh, yes!" breathed jennifer. "sah maurice and mr. jettan," announced the little black page. "drat!" said her ladyship. she rose. "where's your son?" she demanded, shaking her finger at sir maurice. sir maurice kissed her hand. "sally, you grow ruder and ruder," he reproved her. "maurice," she retorted, "you were ever a punctilious ramrod. philip's the only one of you i want to see. he says such audacious things," she explained. "so gratifying to an old woman. well, tom?" thomas bowed very low. "well, sally?" "that's not polite," she said. "you can see i am very well. i declare you are growing thinner!" thomas drew himself up sheepishly. "am i, my dear?" her ladyship gave a little crow of delight. "you've been taking exercise!" she exclaimed. "if you continue at this rate--i vow i'll marry you in a month!" "i wish you would, my dear," said tom seriously. "oh, i shall one day, never fear!" she caught sight of jennifer's astonished expression and chuckled. "now, tom, behave yourself! you are shocking the child!" she whispered. "i? what have i done? she's shocked at your forwardness!" sir maurice had walked over to cleone. she held out her hands, and he made as if to kiss them. she snatched them back. "oh, no, no!" she cried. "sir maurice!" he smiled down at her upturned face. "in truth, my dear, you've so changed from the little cleone i know that i dare take no liberties." her mouth quivered suddenly; she caught at the lapels of his coat. "no, no, don't say it, sir! i am the same! oh, i am, i am!" "what's cleone doing?" inquired lady malmerstoke. "kissing maurice? now who's forward?" cleone smiled through her tears. "you are, aunt sally. and you are in a very teasing humour!" sir maurice pressed her hands gently. he turned to the curtseying jennifer. "why, jenny? this is a surprise! how are you, child?" "very well, i thank you, sir," she answered. "very happy to be in london." "the first visit! where are you staying?" "with grandmamma, out at kensington," she said. lady malmerstoke clutched tom's arm. "kensington, poor child!" she murmured. "for heaven's sake everyone sit down! no, maurice, that chair is too low for me. i'll take the couch." she proceeded to do so. as a matter of course, tom sat down beside her. the others arranged themselves in two pairs, sir maurice leading jennifer to a chair near the fire, and cleone going to the window-seat with the admiring james. five minutes later the bell rang for the third time, and jennifer received the worst shock of the afternoon. the page announced mr. philip jettan, and philip came into the room. sir maurice felt jennifer's start of surprise, and saw her stare past him as though she saw at least three ghosts. philip went to his hostess and dropped on one knee to kiss her hand. he was dressed in puce and old gold. jennifer thought she had never seen anything so gorgeous, or so astonishing. she did not believe for a moment that it was her old playfellow, philip. "madame, i am late!" said philip. "i ask a thousand pardons." "and you are sure you'll receive them!" chuckled her ladyship. "i'd give them, but that it would fatigue me so. where's that ode? don't tell me you've forgotten it!" "forgotten it! never! it is a very beautiful ode, too, in my best style. _le voici!_" he handed her a rolled parchment sheet, tied with mauve ribbons, and with violets cunningly inserted. "you delightful boy!" cried her ladyship, inspecting it. "violets! how did you know they were my favourite flowers?" "i knew instinctively," answered philip solemnly. "of course you did! but how charming of you! i declare i daren't untie it till the violets are dead. look, tom, is it not pretty? and isn't philip sweet to write me an ode?" "i am looking," said tom gloomily. "ye rascal, how dare you try to steal my lady's heart away from me?" "i should be more than human an i did not!" replied philip promptly. lady malmerstoke was showing the dainty roll to sir maurice. "an ode to my wig," she told him. "written in french." "an ode to your what?" asked thomas. "my wig, tom, my wig! you were not here when we discussed it. cleone thought it a prodigious ugly wig, but philip would have none of it. he said such pretty things about it, and promised me an ode for it! philip, did i thank you?" philip was bowing over cleone's hand. he turned. "with your eyes, madame, eloquently! but i need no thanks; it was an honour and a joy." "think of that!" nodded my lady, looking from tom to sir maurice. "philip, come and be presented to mistress jennifer. or do you know her?" philip released cleone's hand, and swung round. "jennifer! of course i know her!" he went across the room. "why, jenny, where do you spring from? how are you?" jennifer gazed up at him with wide eyes. "philip? is--is it really--you?" she whispered. "you didn't know me? jenny, how unkind! surely i haven't changed as much as that?" "y-you have," she averred. "more!" "i have not, i swear i have not! father, go away! let me sit here and talk to jennifer!" only too glad to obey, sir maurice rose. "he is very peremptory and autocratic, isn't he, my dear?" he smiled. philip sank into the vacated chair. "i--i feel i ought to call you mr. jettan!" said jennifer. "jenny! if you dare to do such a thing i shall--i shall--" "what will you do?" "write a canzonet to your big eyes!" he laughed. jennifer blushed, and her lips trembled into a smile. "will you really? i should like that, i think, mr. jettan." "it shall be ready by noon to-morrow," said philip at once, "if you will promise not to misname me!" "but--" "jenny, i vow i have not changed so much! 'tis only my silly clothes!" "that's--what clo said when i told her _she_ had changed." "oh!" philip shot a glance towards the unconscious cleone. "did she say that?" "yes. but i think she has changed, don't you?" "_de tãªte en pieds_," said philip slowly. "what is that?" jennifer looked rather alarmed. philip turned back to her. "that is a foolish habit, jenny. they say i chatter french all day. which is very affected." "french? do you talk french now? how wonderful!" breathed jennifer. "say something else! please!" "_la lumiã¨re de tes beaux yeux me pã©nã¨tre jusqu'au c[oe]ur._" he bowed, smiling. "oh! what does that mean?" "it wouldn't be good for you to know," answered philip gravely. "oh! but i would like to know, i think," she said naã¯vely. "i said that--you have very beautiful eyes." "did you? how--how dreadful of you! and you won't forget the--the can--can--what you were going to write for me, will you?" "the canzonet. no, i think it must be a sonnet. and the flower--alas, your flower is out of season!" "is it? what is my flower?" "a daisy." she considered this. "i do not like daisies very much. haven't i another flower?" "yes, a snowdrop." "oh, that is pretty!" she clapped her hands. "is it too late for snowdrops?" "i defy it to be too late!" said philip. "you shall have them if i have to fly to the ends of the earth for them!" jennifer giggled. "but you couldn't, could you? cleone! cleone!" cleone came across the room. "yes, jenny? has mr. jettan been saying dreadfully flattering things to you?" "n--yes, i think he has! and he says i must still call him philip. and oh! he is going to write a--a sonnet to my eyes, tied with snowdrops! mr. j--philip, what is cleone's flower?" philip had risen. he put a chair forward for cleone. "can you ask, jenny? what but a rose?" cleone sat down. her lips smiled steadily. "a rose? surely it's a flaunting flower, sir?" "ah, mademoiselle, it must be that you have never seen a rose just bursting from the bud!" "oh, la! i am overcome, sir! and i have not yet thanked you for the bouquet you sent me this morning!" philip's eyes travelled to the violets at her breast. "i did not send violets," he said mournfully. cleone's eyes flashed. "no. these"--she touched the flowers caressingly--"i have from sir deryk brenderby." "he is very fortunate, mademoiselle. would that i were also!" "i think you are, sir. mistress ann nutley wore your carnations yesterday the whole evening." cleone found that she was looking straight into his eyes. hurriedly she looked away, but a pulse was beating in her throat. for one fleeting instant she had seen the old philip, grave, honest, a little appealing. if only--if only-"mr. jett--i mean philip! will you teach me to say something in french?" "why, of course, _chã©rie_. what would you say?" the pulse stopped its excited beating; the blue eyes lost their wistful softness. cleone turned to james, who stood at her elbow. fifteen lady malmerstoke on husbands "and he brought it himself, yesterday morning, tied with snowdrops. i don't know how he got them, for they are over, are they not, clo? but there they were, with the prettiest verse you can imagine. it said my eyes were twin pools of grey! isn't that beautiful?" cleone jerked one shoulder. "it is not very original," she said. "don't you like it?" asked jennifer reproachfully. cleone was ashamed of her flash of ill-humour. "yes, dear, of course i do. so mr. jettan brought it to you himself, did he?" "indeed, yes! and stayed a full hour, talking to papa and to me. what do you think? he has begged me to be sure and dance with him on wednesday! is it not kind of him?" "very," said cleone dully. "i cannot imagine why he should want them," jennifer prattled on. "jamie says he is at mistress nutley's feet. is she very lovely, clo?" "i don't know. yes, i suppose she is." "philip is teaching me to speak french. it is so droll, and he laughs at my accent. can you speak french, clo?" "a little. no doubt he would laugh at my accent if he ever heard it." "oh, i do not think so! he could not, could he? clo, i asked if he did not think you were very beautiful, and he said--" "jenny, you must not ask things like that!" "he did not mind! truly, he did not! he just laughed--he is always laughing, clo!--and said that there was no one who did not think so. was not that neat?" "very," said cleone. jennifer drew nearer. "cleone, may i tell you a secret?" a fierce pain shot through cleone. "a secret? what is it?" she asked quickly. "why, clo, how strange you look! 'tis only that i know james to be in love with--you!" cleone sank back. she started to laugh from sheer relief. "i do not see that it is funny," said jennifer, hurt. "no, no, dear! it--it is not that--i mean, of course, of course, i knew that james was--was--fond of me." "did you? oh--oh, are you going to marry him?" jennifer's voice squeaked with excitement. "jenny, you ask such dreadful questions! no, i am not." "but--but he loves you, clo! don't you love him?" "not like that. james only thinks he loves me. he's too young. i--tell me about your dress, dear!" "for the ball?" jennifer sat up, nothing loth. "'tis of white silk--" "sir deryk brenderby!" jennifer started. "oh, dear!" she said regretfully. a tall, loose-limbed man came in. "fair mistress cleone! i am happy, indeed, to have found you in! i kiss your hands, dear lady!" cleone drew them away, smiling. "mistress jennifer winton, sir deryk." brenderby seemed to become suddenly aware of jenny's presence. he bowed. jennifer curtseyed demurely, and took refuge behind her friend. sir deryk lowered himself into a chair. "mistress cleone, can you guess why i have come?" "to see me!" said cleone archly. "that is the obvious, fair tormentor! another reason had i." "the first should be enough, sir," answered cleone, with downcast eyes. "and is, most beautiful. but the other reason concerns you also." "la! you intrigue me, sir! pray, what is it?" "to beg, on my knees, that you will dance with me on wednesday!" "oh, i don't know!" cleone shook her head. "i doubt all the dances are gone." "ah, no, dearest lady! not all!" "indeed, i think so! i cannot promise anything." "but you give me hope?" "i will not take it from you," said cleone. "perhaps jennifer will give you a dance." sir deryk did not look much elated. but he bowed to jennifer. "may that happiness be mine, madam?" "th--thank you," stammered jennifer. "if you please!" sir deryk bowed again and straightway forgot her existence. "you wear my primroses, fairest!" he said to cleone. "i scarce dared to hope so modest a posy would be so honoured." cleone glanced down at the pale yellow blooms. "oh, are they yours? i had forgot," she said cruelly. "ah, cleone!" cleone raised her brows. "my name, sir?" "mistress cleone," corrected brenderby, bowing. lady malmerstoke chose that moment at which to billow into the room. she leaned on the arm of one mr. jettan. "philip, you are a sad fellow! you do not mean one word of what you say! oh, lud! i have chanced on a reception. give ye good den, jenny, my dear. sir deryk? thus early in the morning? i think you know mr. jettan?" the two men bowed. "i have the pleasure, lady malmerstoke," said brenderby. "i did not see you last night, jettan? you were not at gregory's card-party?" "last night?--last night? no, i was at white's with my father. mademoiselle, your very obedient! _et la petite!_" "_bonjour, monsieur!_" ventured jennifer shyly. philip swept her a leg. "_mademoiselle a fait des grands progrã¨s_," he said. she wrinkled her brow. "great--progress?" she hazarded. "of course! and how is mademoiselle?" "very well, i thank you, sir." lady malmerstoke sank into a large armchair. "well, i trust i don't intrude?" she remarked. "clo, where is my embroidery?" she turned to her guests. "i never set a stitch, of course. it would fatigue me too much. but it looks industrious to have it by me, doesn't it?" cleone and brenderby had walked to the table in search of the missing embroidery. cleone looked over her shoulder. "you must not believe what she says," she told them. "aunt sarah embroiders beautifully. she is not nearly as lazy as she would have you think." "not lazy, my love--indolent. a much nicer word. thank you, my dear." she received her stitchery and laid it down. "i will tell you all a secret. oh, philip knows! philip, you need not listen." philip was perched on a chair-arm. "a million thanks, aunt!" "that is very unkind of you!" she reproached him. "you tell my secret before ever i have time to say a word!" "_eh bien!_ you should not have suggested that i did not want to listen to your voice." "when i am, indeed, your aunt, i shall talk to you very seriously about flattering old women," she said severely. cleone clapped her hands. "oh, aunt sally! you are going to wed mr. jettan?" "one of them," nodded her aunt. "i gather that this one"--she smiled up at philip--"is going to wed someone else. and i do not think i would have him in any case." "and now who is unkind?" cried philip. "i've a mind to run away with you as you enter the church!" cold fear was stealing through cleone. mechanically she congratulated her aunt. through a haze she heard brenderby's voice and jennifer's. so philip was going to marry someone else? no doubt it was ann nutley, the designing minx! when philip came presently to her side she was gayer than ever, sparkling with merriment, and seemingly without a care in the world. she drew sir deryk into the conversation, flirting outrageously. she parried all philip's sallies and laughed at sir deryk's witticisms. then philip went to talk to jennifer. a pair of hungry, angry, jealous, and would-be careless blue eyes followed him and grew almost hard. when the guests had gone cleone felt as though her head were full of fire. her cheeks burned, her eyes were glittering. lady malmerstoke looked at her. "you are hot, my love. open the window." cleone obeyed, cooling her cheeks against the glass panes. "how very shy that child is!" remarked my lady. "jenny? yes. very, is she not?" "i thought sir deryk might have noticed her a little more than he did." "he had no chance, had he? she was quite monopolised." her ladyship cast a shrewd glance towards the back of cleone's head. she smiled unseen. "well, my love, to turn to other matters, which is it to be--philip or sir deryk?" cleone started. "what do you mean, aunt? which is it to _be_?" "which are you going to smile upon? you have given both a deal of encouragement. i don't count young james, of course. he's a babe." "please, please--" "i don't like sir deryk. no, i don't like him at all. he has no true politeness, or he would have talked a little more to me, or to jenny. which do you intend to wed, my dear?" "neither?" "my dear cleone!" her ladyship was shocked. "then why do you encourage them to make love to you? now be advised by me! have sir deryk!" cleone gave a trembling laugh. "i thought you did not like him?" "no more i do. but that's not to say he'd make a bad husband. on the contrary. he'd let you do as you please, and he'd not be for ever pestering you with his presence." "for these very reasons i'll none of him!" "then that leaves philip?" cleone whirled about. "whom i would not marry were he the last man in the world!" "luckily he is not. don't be so violent, my dear." cleone stood for a moment, irresolute. then she burst into tears and ran out of the room. lady malmerstoke leaned back against the cushions and closed her eyes. "there's hope for you yet, philip," she remarked, and prepared to go to sleep. it was not to be. barely five minutes later sir maurice was ushered into the room. her ladyship sat up, a hand to her wig. "really, maurice, you should know better than to take a woman unawares!" she said severely. "your family has been in and out the house all the morning. what's the matter now?" sir maurice kissed her hand. "first, my heartiest congratulations, sarah! i have just seen tom." if a lady could grin, sarah malmerstoke grinned then. "thank you, maurice. and how did you find tom?" "quite incoherent," said sir maurice. "he has talked a deal of nonsense about love-passions belonging only to the young, but i never saw a man so madly elated in my life." "how nice!" sighed my lady blissfully. "and what's your second point?" sir maurice walked to the fire and stared into it. "sally, it's cleone." "dear me! what's to do?" "if anyone can help me, it's you," he began. her ladyship held up her hands. "no, maurice, no! you're too old!" "you ridiculous woman!" he smiled a little. "does she care for philip, or does she not?" "well"--my lady bit her finger--"i've been asking her that question, or one like it, myself." "what did she say?" "that she wouldn't marry him were he the last man in the world." sir maurice looked at her wretchedly. "what's come over her? i thought--she said nothing more?" "not a word. she burst into tears and fled." his face brightened. "surely that augurs well for him?" "very well," nodded my lady. "but--" "but what? tell me, sally!" "you're very anxious," she observed. "of course i am anxious! i tell you philip is head over ears in love with the child! and she--" "and she," finished her ladyship deliberately, "will need a deal of convincing that it is so. we are told that philip is in love with ann nutley. we know that philip trifled elegantly with various french ladies. we see him being kind to little jennifer. and so on." "but he means nothing! you know that!" "i? does it matter what i know? it is what cleone knows, but there's naught under the sun so unreasonable as a maid in love." "but if philip assures her--" "pho!" said her ladyship, and snapped her fingers. "pho!" "she wouldn't believe it?" "she might. but she might not choose to show it." "but it's ridiculous! it's--" "of course. all girls are ridiculous." "sally, don't be tiresome! what's to be done?" "leave 'em alone," counselled her ladyship. "there's no good to be got out of interfering. philip must play his own game." "he intends to. but he does not know whether she loves him or not!" "you can tell him from me that there is hope, but that he must go carefully. and now i'm going to sleep. good bye, maurice." sixteen mistress cleone finds there is no safety in numbers when philip entered the ballroom of my lady dering's house, on wednesday evening, lady malmerstoke had already arrived. cleone was dancing with sir deryk; jennifer was sitting beside her ladyship, looking very shy and very bewildered. as soon as he could do so, philip made his way to that end of the room. lady malmerstoke welcomed him with a laugh. "good even, philip! have you brought your papa?" philip shook his head. "he preferred to go to white's with tom. jenny, you'll dance with me, will you not? remember, you promised!" jennifer raised her eyes. "i--i doubt i--cannot. i--i have danced so few times, sir." "don't tell me those little feet cannot dance, _chã©rie_!" jennifer glanced down at them. "it's monstrous kind of you, philip--but--but are you sure you want to lead me out?" philip offered her his arm. "i see you are in a very teasing mood, jenny," he scolded. jennifer rose. "well, i will--but--oh, i am very nervous! i expect you dance so well." "i don't think i do, but i am sure you under-rate your dancing. let us essay each other!" * * * * * from across the room cleone saw them. she promptly looked away, but contrived, nevertheless, to keep an eye on their movements. she saw philip presently lead jenny to a chair and sit talking to her. then he hailed a passing friend and presented him to jennifer. cleone watched him walk across the room to a knot of men. he returned to jennifer with several of them. unreasoning anger shook cleone. why did philip care what happened to jennifer? why was he so assiduous in his attentions? she told herself she was an ill-natured cat, but she was still angry. from jennifer philip went to ann nutley. sir deryk stopped fanning cleone. "there he goes! i declare, philip jettan makes love to every pretty woman he meets! just look at them!" cleone was looking. her little teeth were tightly clenched. "mr. jettan is a flatterer," she said. "always so abominably french, too. mistress ann seems amused. i believe jettan is a great favourite with the ladies of paris." suddenly cleone remembered that duel that philip had fought "over the fair name of some french maid." "yes?" she said carelessly. "of course, he is very handsome." "do you think so? oh, here he comes! evidently the lovely ann does not satisfy him.... your servant, sir!" philip smiled and bowed. "mademoiselle, may i have the honour of leading you out?" he asked. above all, she must not show philip that she cared what he did. "oh, i have but this instant sat down!" she said. "i protest i am fatigued and very hot!" "i know of a cool withdrawing-room," said brenderby at once. "let me take you to it, fairest!" "it's very kind, sir deryk, but i do not think i will go. if i might have a glass of ratafia?" she added plaintively, looking at philip. for once he was backward in responding. sir deryk bowed. "at once, dear lady! i go to procure it!" "oh, thank you, sir!" this was not what cleone wanted at all. "well, mr. jettan, you have not yet fled to paris?" philip sat down beside her. "no, mademoiselle, not yet. to-night will decide whether i go or stay." his voice was rather stern. "indeed? how vastly exciting!" "is it not! i am going to ask you a plain question, cleone. will you marry me?" cleone gasped in amazement. unreasoning fury shook her. that philip should dare to come to her straight from the smiles of ann nutley! she glanced at him. he was quite solemn. could it be that he mocked her? she forced herself to speak lightly. "i can hardly suppose that you are serious, sir!" "i am in earnest, cleone, never more so. we have played at cross-purposes long enough." his voice sent a thrill through her. almost he was the philip of little fittledean. cleone forced herself to remember that he was not. "cross-purposes, sir? i fail to understand you!" "yes? have you ever been honest with me, cleone?" "have you ever been honest with me, mr. jettan?" she said sharply. "yes, cleone. before you sent me away i was honest with you. when i came back, no. i wished to see whether you wanted me as i was, or as i pretended to be. you foiled me. now i am again honest with you. i say that i love you, and i want you to be my wife." * * * * * "you say that you love me...." cleone tapped her fan on her knee. "perhaps you will continue to be honest with me, sir. am i the only one you have loved?" "you are the only one." the blue eyes flashed. "and what of the ladies of the french court, mr. jettan? what of a certain duel you fought with a french husband? you can explain that, no doubt?" philip was silent for a moment, frowning. "so the news of that absurd affair reached you, cleone?" she laughed, clenching her teeth. "oh, yes, sir! it reached me. a pity, was it not?" "a great pity, cleone, if on that gossip you judge me." "ah! there was no truth in the tale?" suppressed eagerness was in her voice. "i will be frank with you. a certain measure of truth there was. m. de foli-martin thought himself injured. it was not so." "and why should he think so, sir?" "presumably because i paid court to madame, his wife." "yes?" cleone spoke gently, dangerously. "you paid court to madame. no doubt she was very lovely?" "very." philip was nettled. "as lovely, perhaps, as mademoiselle de marcherand, of whom i have heard, or as mistress ann nutley yonder? or as lovely as jennifer?" philip took a false step. "cleone, surely you are not jealous of little jenny?" he cried. she drew herself up. "jealous? what right have i to be jealous? you are nothing to me, mr. jettan! i confess that once i--liked you. you have changed since then. you cannot deny that you have made love to a score of beautiful women since you left home. i do not blame you for that. you are free to do as you please. what i will not support is that you should come to me with your proposal, having shown me during the time that you have spent in england that i am no more to you than ann nutley, or julie de marcherand. 'to the pearl that trembles in her ear,' was it not? very pretty, sir. and now i intrigue you for the moment. i cannot consider myself flattered, mr. jettan." philip had grown pale under his paint. "cleone, you wrong me! it is true that i have trifled harmlessly with those ladies. it is the fashion--the fashion you bade me follow. there has never been aught serious betwixt any woman and me. that i swear!" "you probably swore the same to m. de foli-martin?" "when i had given him the satisfaction he craved, yes." "i suppose he believed you?" "no." philip bit his lip. "no? then will you tell me, sir, how it is that you expect me to believe what m. de foli-martin--closely concerned--would not believe?" philip looked straight into her eyes. "i can only give you my word, cleone." still she fought on, wishing to be defeated. "so you have never trifled with any of these women, sir?" philip was silent again. "you bring me"--cleone's voice trembled--"a tarnished reputation. i've no mind to it, sir. you have made love to a dozen other women. perhaps you have kissed them. and--and now you offer me--your kisses! i like unspoilt wares, sir." philip rose, very stiff and stern. "i am sorry that you consider yourself insulted by my offer, cleone." her hand half flew towards him and fell again. couldn't he understand that she wanted him to beat down her resistance? did he care no more than that? if only he would deny everything and master her! "i hasten to relieve you of my obnoxious presence. your servant, mademoiselle." philip bowed. he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving cleone stricken. her fan dropped unheeded to the ground. philip had gone! he had not understood that she wanted to be overruled, overcome. he had gone, and he would never come back. in those few minutes he had been the philip she loved, not the flippant gallant of the past weeks. tears came into cleone's eyes. why, why had he been so provoking? and oh, why had she let him go? she knew now beyond question that he was the only man she could ever love, or had ever loved. now he had left her, and would go back to paris. nothing mattered, she did not care what became of her once she had lost philip. james winton, never far away, came to her side and sat down. cleone greeted him mechanically and proceeded to follow out her own line of dismal thought. through a haze of misery she heard james' voice. it sounded rather shy, and very anxious. she had not the faintest idea of what he was saying, but she felt vaguely annoyed by his persistency. presently these words filtered through to her brain: "say yes, cleone! say yes! oh, say yes, cleone!" how importunate he was! cleone turned impatiently. "oh, yes, yes! what is it?" as james had been blurting out a carefully-worded proposal of marriage, he was not flattered by this answer. he rose, hurt to the bottom of his youthful soul. "it is evident that you have not heard a word of what i said, cleone!" "oh, don't worry me, james! i've said yes. what is it? you are so persistent, and i wish to be quiet!" james bowed. "i will leave you, madam. i offered you my hand and my heart." with that he walked off, a picture of outraged dignity. cleone broke into hysterical laughter. up came sir deryk. "you seem vastly entertained, lady fair. may i share the pleasantry?" cleone sprang up. "take me away from this!" she begged. "i--i am nigh fainting from the heat! i--oh, i must be quiet! the fiddling goes through and through my head. i--oh, take me somewhere cool!" sir deryk was surprised, but he did not show it. "why, of course, dearest! i know of a small withdrawing-room nearby. take my arm, it's stifling in here!" he led her across the room to where a heavy curtain hung, shutting off a small, dimly-lighted apartment. meanwhile philip had gone to lady malmerstoke's side. he sat down, frowning gloomily. her ladyship eyed him speculatively. "well?" she demanded. philip laughed bitterly. "oh, i have been rebuffed! do i conceal it so admirably?" "no, you do not," said her ladyship. "you must have played your cards monstrously badly. trust a man." "oh, no! tis merely that your niece does not love me." "fiddle! don't tell me that. d'you think i'm a fool, philip?" "she objects, madam, to my--tarnished reputation. she was quite final." "you thought she was quite final. now, don't be stately, child! what happened?" "i asked her to marry me--and she flung my wretched paris _affaires_ in my face." "of course, you denied everything?" "no, i did not. how could i? there was a certain measure of tr--" lady malmerstoke leaned back disgustedly. "god preserve me from young men! you admitted it?" "no--that is, i was frank with her." "great heavens, philip! frank with a woman? god help you, then! and what next? did you tell cleone not to be a fool? did you insist that she should listen to you?" "how could i? she--" "you didn't. you walked off when you should have mastered her. i'll wager my best necklet she was waiting for you to assert yourself. and now she's probably miserable. serve her right, and you too." "but, lady malmerstoke--" "not but what i don't sympathise with the child," continued her ladyship inexorably. "of course, she is a fool, but so are all girls. a woman of my age don't inquire too closely into a man's past--we've learned wisdom. cleone knows that you have trifled with a dozen other women. bless you, she don't think the worse of you for that!" "she does! she said--" "for goodness' sake, don't try to tell me what she said, philip! what's that to do with it?" "but you don't understand! cleone said--" "so she may have. that does not mean that she meant it, does it?" asked her ladyship in great scorn. "_mais_--" "don't start talking french at me, child, for i can't bear it! you should know by now that no woman means what she says when it's to a man." "oh, stop, stop! lady malmerstoke, you don't understand! cleone does think the worse of me for those intrigues! she is very angry!" "of course she is. what do you expect?" philip clasped his head. "_mais, voyons!_ just now you said that she does _not_ think the worse of me for it!" "who said she did? can't one think two things at the same time?" "but surely not two such--such contradictory things! i have never done so in my life!" "you! you're only a man! you've not our gifts! i can tell you!" my lady spread out her fan. "why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all of them contradictory!" she nodded at him complacently. "it's ridiculous! it's impossible! are women's brains so--so incoherent?" "most of 'em," answered her ladyship. "they jump, you see." "jump?" philip was thoroughly bewildered. "jump. from one thing to another. you'll arrive at a new thought by degrees, and you'll know how you got there. women don't think like that. cleone could not tell you why she thinks well and ill of you at once, but she does." "but surely if she reasons with herself she'll see how absurd--" "if she what?" "reasons. i mean--" "you're mad," said lady malmerstoke with conviction. "women don't reason. that's a man's part. why, do you suppose that if cleone thought as you think, and had a brain like a man's, you'd be in love with her? of course you'd not. you'd not be able to feel your superiority over her. don't tell me!" "i don't feel--" her ladyship chuckled. "oh, don't you, philip? you think that clo is reasonable-minded, and able to care for herself, needing no master?" "i--no, i don't!" "that's what i say. goodness me, how blind you are! if you didn't consider that you had to care for cleone and guard her from everyone else and herself, you wouldn't love her. now don't be foolish!" philip laughed ruefully. "you're a fount of wisdom, lady sally!" "well, i should be at my age. i've had experience, you see, and i never was a fool." "then--tell me what i am to do?" lady malmerstoke wagged an impressive finger at him. "take that girl and shake her. tell her you'll not be flouted. tell her she's a little fool, and kiss her. and if she protests, go on kissing her. dear me, what things i do say!" "yes, but, dear lady sally, how am i to kiss her when she's as cold as ice--and--and so unapproachable?" "and why is she cold?" said her ladyship. "tell me that!" "because she--thinks me naught but an elegant trifler!" "not a bit of it. because you treat her gently and politely, and let her flout you. god bless my soul, women don't want gentle politeness! not cleone, at all events! they like a man to be brutal!" "brutal?" "well, not exactly. they like to feel he'll stand no airs and graces. oh, they want gentleness, never fear! but they want to feel helpless. they want mastering, most of 'em. when you kiss the tips of clo's fingers, and treat her as though you thought she was made o' porcelain, she thinks you're no man, and don't care for her." "she cannot! she--" "she don't know it, of course, but it's true. be advised by me, philip, and insist on having your way with her. don't be finicky!" "it's very well, but she doesn't love me!" "oh, drat the man!" said her ladyship. "you fatigue me! go your own road, but don't blame me when everything goes awry. if you have made clo miserable she'll do something mad. and now i've warned you. oh, here is james, looking like a sulky bear! james, my good boy, i've left my handkerchief in another room. will you fetch it for me, please? over there, behind the curtain. yes, shocking, isn't it? but 'twas only old fotheringham, so you can tell your uncle, philip." he rose and laughed down at her. "and will he master you, my lady?" "not he," said lady malmerstoke placidly. "i'm past the age of wanting that nonsense. not that i ever wanted it, but i was always unusual. be off with you!" philip took james by the arm. "we are summarily dismissed! come, jamie, we'll find her handkerchief, and she'll smile again." in the withdrawing-room cleone was dicing with sir deryk. a very unmaidenly proceeding. she had just lost the rose at her breast to brenderby, and he was trying to undo the pin that held it in place. failing in that, he grasped the stem firmly, and broke off the bloom. but with the rose he had clutched a thin blue riband from which hung a locket. it snapped, and the trinket rolled on to the floor. cleone was already overwrought. she sprang up. "oh, my locket!" and searched wildly on the floor. surprised at her earnestness, brenderby went down on his knees, and presently retrieved the locket just as cleone had seen it. he rose, and was about to present it to her when she clasped agitated hands and demanded that it should be given her at once! this aroused sir deryk's curiosity. he withheld it. "why so anxious, cleone? what secret does it hide?" "naught! oh, give it me, give it me!" sir deryk held fast to the trophy. "not so fast, cleone! i'll swear there's some mystery here! i've a mind to peep inside!" "i forbid you!" said cleone. "sir deryk--" she controlled herself. "please give it me!" "and so i will, fairest, but first i must see what is inside!" "oh, no, no! there's naught! i could not bear you to look! besides, it's--it's empty. i--oh, give it me!" she stamped angrily. brenderby's eyes were alight with impish laughter. "i'll make a bargain, sweetest! you shall play me for it." he picked up the dice-box. "if you beat my throw, i will give you the locket unopened. if you lose you shall pay a price for it." "i don't understand! what do you mean?" "you shall kiss me for it. one hard-earned kiss. come, you must admit my terms are generous!" "i won't! how dare you, sir! and it is _my_ locket! you have no right to it!" "what i find i keep! come! the odds are equal, and in neither case do i open the locket." "i--i thought you a gentleman!" "so i am, clo. were i not--i'd take the price and then the locket. there's no one to see, and no one need know. cleone--you lovely creature!" cleone wrung her hands. "i should die of shame! oh, sir deryk, please be kind!" "why should i be kind when you are not? you'll none of my terms? very well!" he made as if to open the locket. "no, no, no!" almost shrieked cleone. "i'll do anything, anything! only don't open it!" "you'll play me?" cleone drew a deep breath. "yes. i will. and i'll never, never, never speak to you again!" he laughed. "oh, i trust you'll change your mind! now!" he cast the dice. "aha! can you beat that?" cleone took the box in a firm clasp, and shook it long and violently. her cheeks were burning, her eyes tight shut. she threw the dice. brenderby bent over the table. "alack!" her eyes flew open. "i've won? oh, i have won!" "no. i was grieving for you, fairest, not for myself. you have lost." tears glistened on the end of her long lashes. "sir deryk--p-please be gen-generous now! i don't want to--kiss you!" "what! you cry off? shame, cleone!" he teased. "you are monstrous unk-kind! it's my locket, and i d-don't want to kiss you! i don't, i don't! i hate you!" "that adds spice, my dear. must i take the price?" she choked down a sob. "very well. kiss me." she stood where she was, face upturned, with the resignation of a martyr. he laid his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her. "by god, cleone, you're damnably beautiful!" he said thickly. "you've played with fire to-night--but i won't burn you too much!" he bent his head till his lips met hers. at that inauspicious moment james and philip walked into the room. "no, it was here she said, philip. i re--" with a cry of horror cleone sprang away from sir deryk, her cheeks flaming. her wide eyes went from james' face of frozen astonishment to philip's pale, furious countenance. philip took a half-step forward, his hand wrenching at his sword-hilt. then he checked and slammed the sword back into the scabbard. cleone had not struggled in brenderby's embrace. what could he do? he had always thought her in love with the fellow. and on the top of his own proposal.... he swept a magnificent bow. "_mille pardons, mademoiselle!_ it seems that i intrude." cleone winced at the biting sarcasm in his voice. she tried to speak, and failed. what could she say? james came out of his stupor. he strode forward. "what in thunder--" "i don't kn-know!" quavered cleone. "oh--oh, heaven!" quickly brenderby stepped to her side. he took her hand in his, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "gentlemen, you have the honour of addressing my affianced wife," he said haughtily. philip's hand was on the curtain. it clenched slowly. he stood very still, his eyes on cleone's face. "oh!" cried cleone. "oh, i--" she stopped helplessly. heavens, what a position she was in! if she denied that she was betrothed to brenderby, what could philip think? what must he think? he had seen her in sir deryk's arms; the only excuse was a betrothal. and she had accused philip of loose behaviour! whatever happened, he must not think her a light woman! but, oh! how could she say she was betrothed to another when she desired nothing better than to fly to him for protection? she compromised. "i--oh, i think i am about--to faint!" she said. sir deryk drew her hand through his arm. "no, no, my love! tell these gentlemen that it is as i say." cleone looked at philip. was he sneering? she couldn't bear it. "yes," she said. "it is." philip seemed to stiffen. he bowed again. "permit me to offer my felicitations," he said, but his voice was not quite steady. james hurried forward, furious. "your pardon, sir! i beg leave to contradict that statement!" they all stared at him in amazement. philip eyed him through his quizzing-glass. "i--beg--your--pardon?" drawled brenderby. "i am betrothed to her myself!" shouted james. cleone's hands flew to her cheeks. "oh!" she fluttered. "oh--oh, i _am_ going to faint!" brenderby's eyes twinkled. "bear up a little longer, dear! of course, i know there is no truth in what mr. winton says!" "it is true!" james danced in his fury. "cleone promised to wed me, only a little while back! you can't deny it, clo! you did!" "i did not!" "you did! you said yes! you know you did!" cleone leaned on the nearest thing to her for support. it chanced to be sir deryk, but she was past caring. "james, you know i--never meant it!" suddenly philip's lips twitched. brenderby was bubbling over with ill-suppressed merriment. "my dear, this is most serious! did you, indeed, accept mr. winton's proposal?" "yes, but he knows i did not mean it! i--" "cleone, do you tell me you accepted him and--" "yes, she did! and i hold her to her promise!" cleone's knees threatened to give way. "james, i can't marry you! i won't marry you!" "i hold you to your promise!" repeated james, almost beside himself. "and i." sir deryk passed his arm round cleone's waist. "i hold cleone to the promise she has given me!" philip interposed. "probably the lady would be glad of a chair," he suggested evenly. "james, brenderby--let your future wife sit down!" sir deryk's shoulders shook. he led cleone to the couch, and she sank on to it, hiding her face. philip swung the curtain aside. "permit me to withdraw. decidedly i am _de trop_. mademoiselle, messieurs!" he went out, and the curtain fell back into place. "oh, oh, oh!" moaned cleone. james bent over her. "come, clo! let me take you back to your aunt!" brenderby stepped to cleone's other side. "cleone needs no other escort than that of her affianced husband, sir!" "and that is i!" "on the contrary, it is i! cleone, sweet, come!" cleone sprang up. "it's neither of you! don't--touch me! oh, that i should be so humiliated! i will not marry you, james! you know that i never heard what you said!" james set his chin stubbornly. "i'll not release you from your promise," he said. "and nor will i." sir deryk was enjoying himself. "you must release me, james!" cried cleone. "i--i am going to wed--sir deryk!" she dissolved into tears. "oh, what shall i do? what shall i do? how--how dreadful it is! let me go! i hate you both!" she fled from them and was at her aunt's side before either had time to follow her. "good gracious, child, what's amiss?" exclaimed lady malmerstoke. "you're as white as my wig!" "take me home!" begged cleone. "i am b-betrothed to sir deryk and james! oh, for heaven's sake, take me home!" seventeen mistress cleone at her wits' end sir maurice and his brother were sitting at breakfast next morning when philip burst in on them. tom jumped up and swore. "damn you, philip! at this hour!" philip paid not the slightest heed to him. he grasped his father by the shoulder. "father, you must to lady malmerstoke's house at once!" sir maurice ate another mouthful of beef. "sit down, my son, and be calm. what's to do?" "god alone knows!" cried philip. he sank into a chair and rejected his uncle's offer of breakfast. "breakfast? what have i to do with food when i'm nigh demented?" "drink's the thing," agreed tom placidly. he pushed a tankard of ale towards his nephew. "what ails you, lad?" "cleone's betrothed to brenderby," announced philip wretchedly. "no!" tom was dumbfounded. "and to winton." philip sought to drown his troubles in the tankard. "what!" sir maurice dropped his knife. "betrothed to brenderby _and_ winton? you're raving!" "would to god i were!" philip emerged from the tankard, and wiped his lips with his fathers napkin. "i asked her to marry me at the ball last night. she refused; i won't tell you her exact words. half an hour later i found her kissing _ce scã©lã©rat_ brenderby in a secluded corner!" he laughed savagely. "you mean that brenderby kissed her?" suggested tom. "no, i do not! _voyons_, would he be alive now had he dared embrace cleone against her will? she submitted--she wished it!" "i'll not believe that!" exclaimed sir maurice. "you must believe it. she is betrothed to him. she said it herself. james was with me. he interposed, saying that she was already promised to him." tom gave a chuckle. "faith, the child is rich in--" he caught philips eye and subsided. "oh, ay, ay! go on." "i know no more. i deemed it time for me to withdraw." "the proper thing to have done," said tom solemnly, "was to have struck an attitude and said, 'not so! the girl is mine!'" "what right had i? i was not amongst the favoured ones." "don't sneer, philip," interposed sir maurice. "there must be something behind all this." philip turned to him. "that's what i hope and trust! you must go at once to lady malmerstoke's!" his head sank into his hands and he gave way to a gust of laughter. "oh, gad! neither would give way an inch. both held clo to her promise!" "ye seem monstrous light-hearted about it," said his uncle. philip sprang up. "because i thought that--for one moment--she looked at me for help!" "which you declined to give?" asked sir maurice dryly. "_mon cher pã¨re_, i have my own game to play. now go to lady malmerstoke's, i implore you!" sir maurice rose. "i'll go at once. what madness can have seized cleone?" philip almost pushed him out of the room. "that is what i want to know. quickly, father!" the little black page swung open the door of my lady's boudoir. "sah maurice jettan!" "the very man i wish to see!" exclaimed lady malmerstoke. "maurry, never were you more opportune!" sir maurice kissed her hand with punctilious politeness. he then smiled at cleone, who stood by the table, pale and wan-looking. "i hope i see you well, cleone?" "very well, thank you, sir," said cleone dully. lady malmerstoke sat down. "clo has disgraced me," she said comfortably. "is it not exciting?" cleone turned her head away. sir maurice saw her lips tremble. "please, aunt--please don't--don't--i shall wed--sir deryk." "and what's to happen to t'other? you can't wed two men, my dear. i'm not sure that i shall consent to your marrying either." "sir deryk--has my word." "but so has james." "what's this?" sir maurice spoke with well-feigned astonishment. "cleone, you are not betrothed, surely?" "to two men," nodded her aunt. "i have never been so amused in my life. i always considered myself to be flighty, but i'll swear i never was engaged to two men at one and the same time!" cleone sat down, staring out of the window and biting her lips. "what!" cried sir maurice in liveliest horror. "engaged to two men? cleone!" the golden head was bowed. a great sob shook cleone. "but--good heavens, my dear! this is dreadful! how could such a thing have come to pass?" "of course it's dreadful," said her ladyship. "think of the scandal when it is known. and that'll be soon, i'll wager. brenderby will never keep such a piece of spice to himself." as she spoke, one of her eyelids flickered. sir maurice smiled, unseen by cleone. "you--forget, aunt. i am going to--wed--sir deryk." a shudder ran through her at the thought. "but i don't understand! tell me how it happened, cleone!" "yes, tell him, clo. mayhap he can help you." "no one can help me," said cleone miserably. "i must bear the pain of my own folly. i--oh, i have been so wicked!" "now, cleone? why? what happened?" "i may as well tell you. it will be all over town by to-night--everyone will know me for a flirtatious, flighty woman. i--" "you won't have a shred of reputation left," said her aunt maliciously. cleone started. "rep--oh, and i said--!" "said what, my love?" "naught. i--i--oh, sir maurice, sir maurice, i am so unhappy!" cleone burst into tears. sir maurice patted one heaving shoulder. "there, there, cleone! tell me all about it!" "it--it was at the ball last n-night. i--i--no, first james proposed--to me, and i said yes, but i didn't mean it!" "you said yes, but you didn't mean it?" "i didn't hear what he said--i--i said yes because he worried so! and--and he knew i didn't mean it, for he walked away. then i--i--went with sir deryk to a room apart--" "cle-one!" "oh, i know, i know! it was terrible of me, but i was so upset--i hardly cared what i did!" "but why were you upset? because james had proposed?" "no--i--i--something--else--i can't tell you! anyway--sir deryk took me to this room, and--and taught me to--to dice--yes, i know it was horrid! and--and i lost my rose to him, and when he--was taking it, he broke the string of my locket, and he wouldn't give it me, but said he must see what was inside, and i _couldn't_ let him! i _couldn't_!" "what was inside?" asked sir maurice. "for heaven's sake, don't ask her that!" begged lady malmerstoke. "it sets her off into floods of tears!" "aunt, _please_! and--and so i played him--for it--and i lost and had to--to kiss him--for it. don't, don't look at me! and then--and then _he_ came--with james--and saw! what he must _think_ of me! and i said that he--oh, he must--" "who is 'he'?" asked sir maurice innocently. he watched a tell-tale blush steal up under cleone's fingers. "mr.--mr. jettan--i--he--saw me kiss--sir deryk! then--then--i think, to spare me--sir deryk said i was his betrothed wife. i could not say i was not, could i? it was too dreadful! and phil--mr. jettan congratulated us! but james suddenly said he was going to marry me because i had said yes to him--by mistake! of course i said i was not, but he wouldn't release me from my word, and nor would sir deryk! then--then he--ph--i mean mr. jettan--just bowed and went away, but i could see what he--thought of--of me. oh, what shall i do? neither will let me go! i am betrothed to two gentlemen, and--oh, _what_ shall i do?" sir maurice took a pinch of snuff. a smile hovered about his mouth. he shut the box with a snap. "it seems, my dear, that the situation calls for a third gentleman," he said, and picked up his hat. cleone sprang to her feet. "oh--oh, what are you going to do?" she cried. sir maurice walked to the door. "it needs a masterful hand to extricate you from your delicate position," he said. "i go in search of such a hand." cleone ran to him, clasping his arm. "no, no, no! oh, for heaven's sake, sir maurice, stop!" he laid a hand over her clutching fingers. "my dear, do you want a scandal?" "no, oh no! but i must persuade james!" "and do you want to marry this brenderby?" "i--am going to marry him." "cleone, answer me! do you want to marry him?" "i don't want to marry anyone! i wish i were dead!" "well, child, you are not dead. i refuse to see you fall into brenderby's clutches, and i refuse to countenance the scandal that would arise if you rejected him. i am too old to serve you, but i know of one who is not." "sir maurice, i implore you, do not speak to him! you don't understand! you--oh, stop, stop!" sir maurice had disengaged himself. he opened the door. "you need not fear that the third gentleman will cause you any annoyance, my dear. i can vouch for his discretion." cleone tried to hold him back. "sir maurice, you don't understand! you must not ask ph--your son to--to--help me! i--i didn't tell you all! i--oh, come back!" the door closed behind sir maurice. "a very prompt, wise man," commented lady malmerstoke. "now i am to be baulked of the scandal. hey-dey!" cleone paced to and fro. "i can't face him! i can't, i can't! what must he _think_ of me? what must he think? aunt, you don't know all!" "oh, yes, i do," retorted her ladyship. "no, no, you do not! philip asked me to marry him--and--i refused! i--i--told him--i would not marry a man with a tarnished reputation! i--i said that--and worse! i accused him of trifling and--and--oh, it's too awful! that he should have been the one to see! how he must scorn me. oh, aunt, aunt, can't you say something?" "ay, one thing. that you will have to be very humble to master philip. at least, he was never betrothed twice in one night." cleone collapsed on to the couch. "i'll not see him! i--oh, i must go home at once! i must, i must! everything is all my fault! i ought never to have--sent him away! and now--and now he despises me!" "who says so?" "i--how could he do else? don't--don't you realise how dreadful i have been? and--and his face--when--when he--heard everything! he'll never never believe--the truth!" "what matters it?" asked my lady carelessly. "since you do not love him--" "oh, i do, i do, i do!" wept cleone. * * * * * franã§ois admitted sir maurice. his round face was perturbed. it cleared somewhat at the sight of sir maurice. "_ah, m'sieur, entrez donc!_ m'sieur philippe he is like one mad!--he rage, he go up and down the room like a caged beast! it is a woman, without doubt it is a woman! i have known it _depuis longtemps_! something terrible has happened! m'sieur is _hors de lui-mãªme_!" sir maurice laughed. "poor franã§ois! i go to reassure m'sieur." "ah, if m'sieur can do that!" "i can--most effectively. where is he?" franã§ois pointed to the library door. * * * * * philip literally pounced on his father. "well? you have seen her? is she in love with brenderby? is she to wed him? what did she tell you?" sir maurice pushed him away. "you are the second distracted lover who has clutched me to-day. have done." philip danced with impatience. "but speak, father! speak!" sir maurice sat down leisurely and crossed his legs. "at the present moment cleone is betrothed. very much so," he added, chuckling. "i am about to put the whole matter into your hands." "my hands? she wants my help?" "not at all. she is insistent that you shall not be appealed to. in fact, she was almost frantic when i suggested it." "then does she not want to marry brenderby?" "certainly not. but she will do if you fail to intervene." philip flung out his hands. "but tell me, sir! what happened last night?" "sit down and be quiet," said sir maurice severely. "i am on the point of telling you." philip obeyed meekly. "and don't interrupt." sir maurice proceeded to relate all that he had heard from cleone.... "and she was so upset that she went with brenderby, not caring what happened. that is the whole story," he ended. "upset? but--was she upset--because i had offered and been rejected?" "presumably. now she is so hopelessly compromised that she daren't face you." philip sank his head into his hands and gave way to a long peal of laughter. "_sacrã© nom de dieu_, the tables are turned, indeed. oh, clo, clo, you wicked little hussy! and what was in that locket?" "that you will have to ask her yourself," answered sir maurice. philip jumped up. "and i shall. _mordieu_, never did i dream of such a solution to my difficulties!" "perhaps she still will not have you, philip," warned sir maurice. philip flung back his head. "thunder of god, she will have me now if i have to force her to the altar! _ciel_, you have taken a load off my mind, sir! i thought she cared for brenderby! she smiled on him so consistently. and now for _ce cher_ brenderby! i am going to enjoy myself." "remember, philip! no breath of scandal!" "am i so clumsy? not a whisper shall there be! franã§ois, franã§ois! my hat, my cloak, my boots, and my sword!" eighteen philip takes charge of the situation sir deryk's valet came to him, bowing. "there is a gentleman below who desires speech with you, sir." "oh? who is he?" "mr. philip jettan, sir." sir deryk raised his eyebrows. "jettan? what can he want with me? ay, i'll come." he rose and went languidly downstairs. "this is an unexpected honour, jettan! come in!" he led philip into a large room. "is it a mere friendly visit?" "anything but that," said philip. "i have come to tell you that you will not be able to wed mistress cleone charteris." "oh?" brenderby laughed. "why do you say that?" "because," philip smiled a little, "i am going to wed her myself." "you? oh, gad, you make the third!" "and there is, as you know, luck in odd numbers. are you satisfied?" "satisfied? damme, no! the girl's lovely! i've a mind to her." "even though i tell you that she desires to be released?" "even though she told it me herself!" "i trust you will allow me to persuade you?" philip patted his sword-hilt lovingly. a light sprang to brenderby's eyes. "is it a fight you're wanting? by gad, no man has ever had need to challenge me twice! here? now? help me push the table back!" "one moment! you love a hazard, i think? i fight you for the right to wed mistress cleone. if i win you relinquish all claim upon her, and you swear never to breathe a word of what passed last night. if you win--oh, if you win, you do as you please!" "ay, aught you will! i've been pining for a fight for many a long day. you're a man after my heart, stap me if you're not! here, wait while i fetch my sword!" he hurried out of the room, returning in a very short time with a rapier. "i've told my man that you have come to fence with me. but we'll lock the door in case of accidents. how does my sword measure with yours?" philip compared them. "very well." his eyes danced suddenly. "_dieu!_ i never thought to fight so strange a duel!" he pulled off his boots. "we'll fight in wigs, yes? one is so displeasing without a hair to one's head." "a dozen, if you like!" brenderby struggled out of his coat and vest. "you know, you are shorter than i am. we're not fair matched." philip laughed, tucking up his ruffles. "no matter. you see, i must win!" "why?" brenderby made an imaginary pass in the air. "so much depends on it," explained philip. "is the light fair to both?" "fair enough," said brenderby. "you are ready, then? _eh bien!_" the blades met and hissed together. opening in quarte, brenderby seemed at first to be the better of the two. philip stayed on the defensive, parrying deftly and allowing brenderby to expend his energies. once brenderby's blade flashed out and all but pinked philip, but he managed to recover his opposition in time. his eyes opened wider; he became more cautious. suddenly he descried an opening and lunged forward. there was a moment's scuffle, and brenderby put the murderous point aside. then philip seemed to quicken. when brenderby began to pant, philip changed his tactics, and gave back thrust for thrust. his wrist was like flexible steel; his footwork was superb; the whole style of his fencing was different from that of brenderby. all at once brenderby saw an opening. he thrust in quinte, steel scraped against steel, and philip's point flashed into his right arm above the elbow. brenderby staggered back, clutched at his arm, and tried to raise his sword again. but philip was at his side, supporting him. "it's only a flesh wound--painful now--_bien sã»r_. it will--heal quickly. i do not--mistake," he gasped. "damme--i'm not done for--yet!" "but yes! i fight--no more. you cannot--keep your blade--steady--now! sit down!" he lowered brenderby into a chair, and whisked out his handkerchief. he bound up sir deryk's wound and fetched him a glass of wine from a decanter on the sideboard. "thanks!" sir deryk gulped it down. "but where are my manners? pour some for yourself, jettan! gad, but you pinked me neatly!" he seemed to slip back into his habitual drawl. "as pretty a piece of sword-play as i wish to see. but you fence french-fashion." philip drank some wine. "yes. it was at paris that i learned. with guillaume corvoisier." "no!" brenderby heaved himself up. "corvoisier, forsooth! no wonder you're so quick!" philip smiled and bowed. "you frightened me more than once, sir." "faith, it wasn't apparent then! you were so intent on winning?" "it means so much, you see," said philip simply. "my whole life's happiness." "what! you really intend to wed cleone?" again philip bowed. "i have always intended to wed her." "you?" brenderby stared. "i never knew that! what of that young sprig winton?" "oh, i think i can persuade james!" "like this?" brenderby glanced down at his arm. "no, not like that. tell me, sir, did you intend to wed mademoiselle?" "heaven forbid! i've no mind to tie myself up yet awhile. your entrance last night forced me to say what i did to spare the lady's blushes. i'd no notion of continuing the comedy, until young winton thrust in with his prior claim. gad, but 'twas amusing! did you not find it so?" "i? no. but i was closely concerned in the affair, you see. i may take it that you will say naught of last night's work?" "of course not. 'twas a mad jest, but i'd not let it go so far as to damage a lady's reputation. and you may tell mistress cleone that i apologise--for what happened before. she's too damnably beautiful." philip worked himself into his coat. "'damnably' is not the word i should employ, but _n'importe_." he sat down and started to pull on his boots. "i have enjoyed myself. i said i should." "tare an' 'ouns, so have i! it's an age since i've had a sword in my hand. i am indebted to you, sir." "yes, you are out of practice. i thank the kind fates for that!" "ay, i'd have kept you at it longer, but i don't know that the issue would have been different. you must go?" philip picked up his hat. "i must. i have to thank you for--" "oh, stuff! i'd no notion of holding cleone to her promise, but i could not resist the offer of a fight. i wish you could see how monstrous amusing it was, though!" philip laughed. "had it been anyone but cleone i might have been able to appreciate the humour of the situation! i trust the wound will heal quickly." "oh, that's naught! a mere prick, but i was winded. fare ye well, jettan. my felicitations! you felicitated me last night, did you not?" he laughed. "with black murder in my heart!" nodded philip. "i do not say good bye, but _au revoir_!" "here's my hand on it then--my left hand, alack!" philip grasped it. brenderby accompanied him to the front door and waved to him as he ran down the steps. "_bonne chance_, as you'd say yourself! _au 'voir!_" philip waved back at him and turned to hail a passing chair. he instructed the bearers to carry him to jermyn street. it seemed that the luck was indeed with him, for he arrived just as james was descending the steps of his house. philip sprang out, paid the chairmen, and took winton's arm. "my friend, a word with you!" "yes?" said james. "you seem excited, philip." "it's what i am, then. i've come to speak to you of cleone." james stiffened. "i'll not give her up to that fellow brenderby!" he said fiercely. "it's more than flesh and blood can bear." "assuredly. but will you give her up to me?" james turned to stare at him. "you? but she is to wed brenderby!" "ah, but no! that is at an end. brenderby releases her. he is not so bad a man as you think. _en effet_, i like him." "i loathe the sight of him, drawling fop!" "to-day i have seen him in another light. but that is not what i have to say. cleone does not wish to marry you, _mon enfant_, and it is churlish to persist." "i know she'll never marry me," answered james gloomily. "i only held her to her word because i thought she'd have brenderby if i did not." "i understand. you'll release her--for me?" "i suppose so. why did you say naught last night?" "there were reasons. they no longer exist. come, jamie, don't look so glum! you are young yet." "it's easy to say that. oh, i knew i never had a chance with her! i congratulate you, philip." philip pressed his arm. "my thanks. you're very generous! and now i must fly!" "where? may i accompany you?" "again many thanks, but no! i have an engagement. _au revoir, mon cher!_" nineteen philip justifies his chin once more lady malmerstoke's page went up to the boudoir. "mistah philip jettan is below, m'lady!" up started cleone. "i will not see him! aunt sarah, i beg you will go to him! please spare me this--humiliation!" lady malmerstoke waved her aside. "admit him, sambo. yes, here. cleone, control yourself!" "i can't see him! i can't! i can't! how _can_ i face him?" "turn your back, then," said her unsympathetic aunt. "i wonder what he has done?" "d-do you think he--could have--arranged everything?" asked cleone, with a gleam of hope. "from what i have seen of him, i should say yes. a masterful young man, my dear. else why that chin?" she moved to the door. philip came in, immaculate as ever. "ah, philip!" philip shot a look past her. cleone had fled to the window. he bent and kissed lady malmerstoke's hand. "_bonjour, madame!_" he held open the door and bowed. her ladyship laughed. "what! turning me from my own boudoir?" "if you please, madame." "aunt--sarah!" the whisper came from the window. philip smiled faintly. "madame...." "oh, that chin!" said her ladyship, and patted it. she went out and philip closed the door behind her. cleone's fingers clasped one another desperately. her heart seemed to have jumped into her throat. it almost choked her. she dared not look round. she heard the rustle of philip's coat-skirts. never, never had she felt so ashamed, or so frightened. "your devoted servant, mademoiselle!" cleone could not speak. she stood where she was, trembling uncontrollably. "i have the honour of informing you, mademoiselle, that you are released from your engagements." was there a note of laughter in the prim voice? "i--thank you--sir," whispered cleone. her teeth clenched in an effort to keep back the tears. she was blinded by them, and her bosom was heaving. there was a slight pause. why did he not go? did he wish to see her still more humiliated? "i have also to offer, on sir deryk's behalf, his apologies for the happenings of last night, mademoiselle." "th--thank--you, sir." again the nerve-killing silence. if only he would go before she broke down! "cleone...." said philip gently. the tears were running down her cheeks, but she kept her head turned away. "please--go!" she begged huskily. he was coming across the room towards her.... cleone gripped her hands. "cleone ... dearest!" a heartbroken sob betrayed her. philip took her in his arms. "my sweetheart! crying? oh no, no! there is naught now to distress you." the feel of his arms about her was sheer bliss; their strength was like a haven of refuge. yet cleone tried to thrust him away. "what--must you--think of me!" she sobbed. he drew her closer, till her head rested against his shoulder. "why, that you are a dear, foolish, naughty little cleone. _chã©rie_, don't cry. it is only your philip--your own philip, who has always loved you, and only you. look up, my darling, look up!" cleone gave way to the insistence of his arms. "oh, philip--forgive me!" she wept. "i have--been mad!" she raised her head and philips arms tightened still more. he bent over her and kissed her parted lips almost fiercely. * * * * * later, seated beside him on the couch, her head on his shoulder, and his arm about her, cleone gave a great sigh. "but why--why did you treat me so--hatefully--when you--came back, philip?" "i was hurt, darling, and wished to see whether you wanted the real me--or a painted puppet. but then you changed suddenly--and i knew not what to think." cleone nestled closer. "because i thought you--did not care! but oh, philip, philip, i have been so unhappy!" philip promptly kissed her. "and--last night--philip, you don't think i--" "sweetheart! is it likely that i'd believe ill of you?" she hid her face. "i--i believed--ill--of you," she whispered. "but you do not believe it now, sweetheart?" "no, oh no! but--but--that duel with mr. bancroft. was it--was it--some--french lady?" philip was silent for a moment. "no, cleone. that is all i can say." "was it"--her voice was breathless--"was it--me?" philip did not answer. "it was! how wonderful!" philip was startled. "you are pleased, cleone? pleased?" "of course i am! i--oo!" she gave a little wriggle of delight. "why did you not tell me?" "it is not--one of the things one tells one's lady-love," said philip. "oh! and to-day? how did you--persuade sir deryk?" "through the arm. but he had no intention of holding you to your word." cleone grew rather rigid. "oh--indeed? in-deed?" philip was mystified. "you did not want to be held to it, did you, _chã©rie_?" "n-no. but--i don't like him, philip." "i did not, i confess. i think i do now." "do you? and what of james?" "oh, james! he will recover." there was a pause while cleone digested this. "philip?" "cleone?" "you--you--don't care for jenny, do you?" "jenny? cleone, for shame! because i was polite--" "more than that, philip!" "well, dearest, no one paid any heed to her or was kind. what would you?" "it was only that? i thought--i thought--" "cleone, you think too much," he chided her. "next you will accuse me of loving ann nutley!" it was a master-stroke, and he knew it. "you didn't? not a tiny bit?" "not an atom!" "and no one--in paris?" "no one. i have pretended, but they all knew that i had already lost my heart." "you pretended?... oh!" "one must, sweetest." "but--" he drew her closer. "but never, most beautiful, did i become engaged--twice in one evening!" he stifled the cry that rose to her lips. "philip, that is ungallant, and--and hateful!" he laughed. "is it not? ah, cleone! tell me, my dearest, what is in your locket?" "something i meant to burn," she murmured. "but did not?" "no--i could not." she fumbled at her bosom and drew out the trinket. "see for yourself, philip." he opened it. a rolled lock of brown hair fell out and a torn scrap of parchment. philip turned it over. "yours till death, philip," he read. "cleone, my love." she buried her face on his shoulder. "your--hair--your poor hair!" she said. "all gone! look up, cleone!" she lifted her face. he gazed down at her, rapt. "oh, cleone--i shall write a sonnet to your wonderful eyes!" he breathed. twenty mademoiselle de chaucheron rings down the curtain sir maurice jettan stood in the withdrawing-room of the hotel cleone and studied himself in the glass. he smiled a little and straightened his shoulders. there came a swish of skirts in the passage without, and the door opened. in walked cleone, a fair vision in a gown of pure white satin and lace. sir maurice turned. he raised his quizzing-glass the better to inspect his daughter-in-law. "upon my soul, cleone!" he ejaculated. cleone swept him a curtsey, laughing. "is it not ridiculous? philip insisted. wait till you see him!" she ran to the mirror. "do you like the way my hair is dressed, father?" "i am struck dumb by the whole effect!" answered sir maurice. "yes, i like that white rose in your hair." "oh, you must tell philip that! he spent hours and hours trying to place it to his entire satisfaction! it has been terrible, _je t'assure_. yes, i am beginning to acquire an accent, am i not? philip nearly tore his beautiful wig in his anxiety!" she re-arranged the roses at her breast. "at one time i expected him to summon franã§ois to his assistance. but he refrained, and here am i!" sir maurice sat down. "has he been dressing you, my dear?" "has he--! for the past three hours, sir! he has driven my maid distracted." she started to count on her fingers. "he spent half an hour superintending my hair-dressing and another half an hour placing this rose and the pearls. then half an hour went to my patches--this is when he nearly tore his wig!--he could not decide where to put them. the arrangement of my gown occupied quite an hour in all. and then he was much put out over my jewels." she held up her fingers. "i vow they are red and sore, sir! i have had rings pushed on them, and dragged off them, until i was nigh screaming with impatience! but now i am dressed--and i have been told on pain of philip's direst wrath to _n'y toucher pas_!" she sat down on the couch beside sir maurice and slipped her hand in his. "is he not absurd? and oh, i am prodigious nervous!" "why, my dear? what should make you so?" "you see, it is my first appearance in paris--it is to be my first ball--and i am so afraid i shall not understand what is said to me, or--or something mortifying!" "not understand? nonsense, clo! why, you have talked hardly any english since you have been married." "yes, but i am not at all fluent. philip says everyone will be most amiable, but--oh, dear!" at that moment franã§ois darted into the room, a harassed frown on his face. "ah, _pardon, madame! pardon, m'sieu'! je cherche la tabatiã¨re de m'sieu' philippe!_" "_laquelle?_" asked cleone. sir maurice was amused by her serious air. "the one with the pearls?" "_mais oui, madame._ it is this fool of a jacques who has lost it, _sans doute_! ah, _la voilã _!" he seized the errant box and skipped out again. cleone breathed a sigh of relief. "how terrible if it had been really lost!" she said. sir maurice laughed. "would it have been so great a catastrophe?" "but of course! it matches his dress, you understand." "i see." sir maurice smothered another laugh. "my dear, do you know that it is three years since last i was in this city of cities?" "is it? don't you think it is a wonderful place? philip took me for a walk yesterday, and i was enchanted! and this house--i know i shall never bear to leave it! philip says that the hotel cleone will be the most fashionable one in paris! i was so surprised when he brought me here! i had no idea that there was a house waiting for me. he and franã§ois got all ready the week before our marriage! i've never been so happy in my life! and to-night i am to see philip in what he calls his milieu. he tells me he was never at home in london." "philip in his milieu. paris." sir maurice smiled down at her. "when i think of what philip was not quite a year ago...." "it seems impossible, doesn't it? but oh, i am glad now that i sent him away. he is quite, quite perfect!" "h'm!" said sir maurice. cleone laughed at him. "you pretend! i know how proud you are!" "minx! i confess i am curious to see philip in his parisian society. no one knows that he is here?" "not a soul. he insisted on guarding the secret until he could make a really dramatic appearance at the duchesse de sauverin's ball to-night. he is mad, you know, quite mad! oh, here he is!" philip came into the room with a rustle of stiff silks. sir maurice started at him. "good god, philip, what audacity!" from head to foot his son was clad in white. the only splash of colour was the red heels of his shoes; his only jewels were pearls and diamonds; on the lapel of his coat he wore a single white rose. "isn't it ridiculous?" said cleone. "but doesn't he look beautiful?" "stand up, child, and let me see you side by side.... yes. what audacity! had i known, i would have attired myself in black--the old man at the ball." "'twould have made an excellent foil," agreed philip. "but no matter. cleone, you have re-arranged your roses!" cleone backed, warding him off. "i cry your pardon, sir! oh no, let me be!" philip came to her, and with deft fingers pulled the flowers into position. "one of them must kiss your skin, so! to show that it is no whiter than the skin. _voilã , c'est bien!_" "who is likely to be at the ball to-night, philip?" asked his father. "_tout le monde._ one always goes to madame de sauverin's balls. it is de rigueur." "we shall be late!" warned cleone. "oh, we are late now!" "that is also de rigueur," said philip. "sir maurice, _m'sieu', et madame jettan_!" announced the lackey. there was a sudden hush. all eyes turned to the late-comers. in the doorway stood a tall gentleman, at his side two dazzling visions in white. madame de sauverin stared for a moment in wonderment. then she hurried forward, hands outstretched. "philippe!" "philippe! _le petit_ philippe!" a score of voices took up the cry. nearly everyone there surged forward. philip kissed madame's hand. "_chã¨re madame!_ i may present my wife? my father you know." cleone curtseyed low. "your--wife!" madame took cleone's hands. "_voyons, voyons, notre petit philippe s'est_ ã©spousã©! _et maurice!_" philip and cleone were at the centre of a welcoming throng. cleone's hand was kissed a dozen times. delighted questions were shot at philip. saint-dantin grasped his hand. "_mon cher petit!_ you have returned at last? _et madame!_" he bowed to the blushing cleone. "there is no need to ask who is, _madame_." he smiled at her. "it is evident that her name is cleone!" de vangrisse pressed forward. "the mysterious cleone! _madame, votre serviteur!_ we have all longed to see the lady who so consistently held philip's heart!" "philippe, how long have you been in paris?" demanded de chatelin. "you are going to remain? _ah bon!_" "philippe, have you an ode for the occasion?" asked another laughing voice. clothilde de chaucheron pushed through the ring. "_le petit philippe au c[oe]ur perdu!_" she cried. philip disengaged himself from the clutches of saint-dantin and took his wife's hand. "_mademoiselle de chaucheron, chã©rie_," he said, and bowed. clothilde gazed at cleone for a moment. then she swept a deep curtsey. "_je me trompe_," she said, smiling. "_le petit philippe au c[oe]ur trouvã©._" by al haines. persuasion by jane austen (1818) chapter 1 sir walter elliot, of kellynch hall, in somersetshire, was a man who, for his own amusement, never took up any book but the baronetage; there he found occupation for an idle hour, and consolation in a distressed one; there his faculties were roused into admiration and respect, by contemplating the limited remnant of the earliest patents; there any unwelcome sensations, arising from domestic affairs changed naturally into pity and contempt as he turned over the almost endless creations of the last century; and there, if every other leaf were powerless, he could read his own history with an interest which never failed. this was the page at which the favourite volume always opened: "elliot of kellynch hall. "walter elliot, born march 1, 1760, married, july 15, 1784, elizabeth, daughter of james stevenson, esq. of south park, in the county of gloucester, by which lady (who died 1800) he has issue elizabeth, born june 1, 1785; anne, born august 9, 1787; a still-born son, november 5, 1789; mary, born november 20, 1791." precisely such had the paragraph originally stood from the printer's hands; but sir walter had improved it by adding, for the information of himself and his family, these words, after the date of mary's birth-"married, december 16, 1810, charles, son and heir of charles musgrove, esq. of uppercross, in the county of somerset," and by inserting most accurately the day of the month on which he had lost his wife. then followed the history and rise of the ancient and respectable family, in the usual terms; how it had been first settled in cheshire; how mentioned in dugdale, serving the office of high sheriff, representing a borough in three successive parliaments, exertions of loyalty, and dignity of baronet, in the first year of charles ii, with all the marys and elizabeths they had married; forming altogether two handsome duodecimo pages, and concluding with the arms and motto:--"principal seat, kellynch hall, in the county of somerset," and sir walter's handwriting again in this finale:-"heir presumptive, william walter elliot, esq., great grandson of the second sir walter." vanity was the beginning and the end of sir walter elliot's character; vanity of person and of situation. he had been remarkably handsome in his youth; and, at fifty-four, was still a very fine man. few women could think more of their personal appearance than he did, nor could the valet of any new made lord be more delighted with the place he held in society. he considered the blessing of beauty as inferior only to the blessing of a baronetcy; and the sir walter elliot, who united these gifts, was the constant object of his warmest respect and devotion. his good looks and his rank had one fair claim on his attachment; since to them he must have owed a wife of very superior character to any thing deserved by his own. lady elliot had been an excellent woman, sensible and amiable; whose judgement and conduct, if they might be pardoned the youthful infatuation which made her lady elliot, had never required indulgence afterwards.--she had humoured, or softened, or concealed his failings, and promoted his real respectability for seventeen years; and though not the very happiest being in the world herself, had found enough in her duties, her friends, and her children, to attach her to life, and make it no matter of indifference to her when she was called on to quit them.--three girls, the two eldest sixteen and fourteen, was an awful legacy for a mother to bequeath, an awful charge rather, to confide to the authority and guidance of a conceited, silly father. she had, however, one very intimate friend, a sensible, deserving woman, who had been brought, by strong attachment to herself, to settle close by her, in the village of kellynch; and on her kindness and advice, lady elliot mainly relied for the best help and maintenance of the good principles and instruction which she had been anxiously giving her daughters. this friend, and sir walter, did not marry, whatever might have been anticipated on that head by their acquaintance. thirteen years had passed away since lady elliot's death, and they were still near neighbours and intimate friends, and one remained a widower, the other a widow. that lady russell, of steady age and character, and extremely well provided for, should have no thought of a second marriage, needs no apology to the public, which is rather apt to be unreasonably discontented when a woman does marry again, than when she does not; but sir walter's continuing in singleness requires explanation. be it known then, that sir walter, like a good father, (having met with one or two private disappointments in very unreasonable applications), prided himself on remaining single for his dear daughters' sake. for one daughter, his eldest, he would really have given up any thing, which he had not been very much tempted to do. elizabeth had succeeded, at sixteen, to all that was possible, of her mother's rights and consequence; and being very handsome, and very like himself, her influence had always been great, and they had gone on together most happily. his two other children were of very inferior value. mary had acquired a little artificial importance, by becoming mrs charles musgrove; but anne, with an elegance of mind and sweetness of character, which must have placed her high with any people of real understanding, was nobody with either father or sister; her word had no weight, her convenience was always to give way--she was only anne. to lady russell, indeed, she was a most dear and highly valued god-daughter, favourite, and friend. lady russell loved them all; but it was only in anne that she could fancy the mother to revive again. a few years before, anne elliot had been a very pretty girl, but her bloom had vanished early; and as even in its height, her father had found little to admire in her, (so totally different were her delicate features and mild dark eyes from his own), there could be nothing in them, now that she was faded and thin, to excite his esteem. he had never indulged much hope, he had now none, of ever reading her name in any other page of his favourite work. all equality of alliance must rest with elizabeth, for mary had merely connected herself with an old country family of respectability and large fortune, and had therefore given all the honour and received none: elizabeth would, one day or other, marry suitably. it sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before; and, generally speaking, if there has been neither ill health nor anxiety, it is a time of life at which scarcely any charm is lost. it was so with elizabeth, still the same handsome miss elliot that she had begun to be thirteen years ago, and sir walter might be excused, therefore, in forgetting her age, or, at least, be deemed only half a fool, for thinking himself and elizabeth as blooming as ever, amidst the wreck of the good looks of everybody else; for he could plainly see how old all the rest of his family and acquaintance were growing. anne haggard, mary coarse, every face in the neighbourhood worsting, and the rapid increase of the crow's foot about lady russell's temples had long been a distress to him. elizabeth did not quite equal her father in personal contentment. thirteen years had seen her mistress of kellynch hall, presiding and directing with a self-possession and decision which could never have given the idea of her being younger than she was. for thirteen years had she been doing the honours, and laying down the domestic law at home, and leading the way to the chaise and four, and walking immediately after lady russell out of all the drawing-rooms and dining-rooms in the country. thirteen winters' revolving frosts had seen her opening every ball of credit which a scanty neighbourhood afforded, and thirteen springs shewn their blossoms, as she travelled up to london with her father, for a few weeks' annual enjoyment of the great world. she had the remembrance of all this, she had the consciousness of being nine-and-twenty to give her some regrets and some apprehensions; she was fully satisfied of being still quite as handsome as ever, but she felt her approach to the years of danger, and would have rejoiced to be certain of being properly solicited by baronet-blood within the next twelvemonth or two. then might she again take up the book of books with as much enjoyment as in her early youth, but now she liked it not. always to be presented with the date of her own birth and see no marriage follow but that of a youngest sister, made the book an evil; and more than once, when her father had left it open on the table near her, had she closed it, with averted eyes, and pushed it away. she had had a disappointment, moreover, which that book, and especially the history of her own family, must ever present the remembrance of. the heir presumptive, the very william walter elliot, esq., whose rights had been so generously supported by her father, had disappointed her. she had, while a very young girl, as soon as she had known him to be, in the event of her having no brother, the future baronet, meant to marry him, and her father had always meant that she should. he had not been known to them as a boy; but soon after lady elliot's death, sir walter had sought the acquaintance, and though his overtures had not been met with any warmth, he had persevered in seeking it, making allowance for the modest drawing-back of youth; and, in one of their spring excursions to london, when elizabeth was in her first bloom, mr elliot had been forced into the introduction. he was at that time a very young man, just engaged in the study of the law; and elizabeth found him extremely agreeable, and every plan in his favour was confirmed. he was invited to kellynch hall; he was talked of and expected all the rest of the year; but he never came. the following spring he was seen again in town, found equally agreeable, again encouraged, invited, and expected, and again he did not come; and the next tidings were that he was married. instead of pushing his fortune in the line marked out for the heir of the house of elliot, he had purchased independence by uniting himself to a rich woman of inferior birth. sir walter had resented it. as the head of the house, he felt that he ought to have been consulted, especially after taking the young man so publicly by the hand; "for they must have been seen together," he observed, "once at tattersall's, and twice in the lobby of the house of commons." his disapprobation was expressed, but apparently very little regarded. mr elliot had attempted no apology, and shewn himself as unsolicitous of being longer noticed by the family, as sir walter considered him unworthy of it: all acquaintance between them had ceased. this very awkward history of mr elliot was still, after an interval of several years, felt with anger by elizabeth, who had liked the man for himself, and still more for being her father's heir, and whose strong family pride could see only in him a proper match for sir walter elliot's eldest daughter. there was not a baronet from a to z whom her feelings could have so willingly acknowledged as an equal. yet so miserably had he conducted himself, that though she was at this present time (the summer of 1814) wearing black ribbons for his wife, she could not admit him to be worth thinking of again. the disgrace of his first marriage might, perhaps, as there was no reason to suppose it perpetuated by offspring, have been got over, had he not done worse; but he had, as by the accustomary intervention of kind friends, they had been informed, spoken most disrespectfully of them all, most slightingly and contemptuously of the very blood he belonged to, and the honours which were hereafter to be his own. this could not be pardoned. such were elizabeth elliot's sentiments and sensations; such the cares to alloy, the agitations to vary, the sameness and the elegance, the prosperity and the nothingness of her scene of life; such the feelings to give interest to a long, uneventful residence in one country circle, to fill the vacancies which there were no habits of utility abroad, no talents or accomplishments for home, to occupy. but now, another occupation and solicitude of mind was beginning to be added to these. her father was growing distressed for money. she knew, that when he now took up the baronetage, it was to drive the heavy bills of his tradespeople, and the unwelcome hints of mr shepherd, his agent, from his thoughts. the kellynch property was good, but not equal to sir walter's apprehension of the state required in its possessor. while lady elliot lived, there had been method, moderation, and economy, which had just kept him within his income; but with her had died all such right-mindedness, and from that period he had been constantly exceeding it. it had not been possible for him to spend less; he had done nothing but what sir walter elliot was imperiously called on to do; but blameless as he was, he was not only growing dreadfully in debt, but was hearing of it so often, that it became vain to attempt concealing it longer, even partially, from his daughter. he had given her some hints of it the last spring in town; he had gone so far even as to say, "can we retrench? does it occur to you that there is any one article in which we can retrench?" and elizabeth, to do her justice, had, in the first ardour of female alarm, set seriously to think what could be done, and had finally proposed these two branches of economy, to cut off some unnecessary charities, and to refrain from new furnishing the drawing-room; to which expedients she afterwards added the happy thought of their taking no present down to anne, as had been the usual yearly custom. but these measures, however good in themselves, were insufficient for the real extent of the evil, the whole of which sir walter found himself obliged to confess to her soon afterwards. elizabeth had nothing to propose of deeper efficacy. she felt herself ill-used and unfortunate, as did her father; and they were neither of them able to devise any means of lessening their expenses without compromising their dignity, or relinquishing their comforts in a way not to be borne. there was only a small part of his estate that sir walter could dispose of; but had every acre been alienable, it would have made no difference. he had condescended to mortgage as far as he had the power, but he would never condescend to sell. no; he would never disgrace his name so far. the kellynch estate should be transmitted whole and entire, as he had received it. their two confidential friends, mr shepherd, who lived in the neighbouring market town, and lady russell, were called to advise them; and both father and daughter seemed to expect that something should be struck out by one or the other to remove their embarrassments and reduce their expenditure, without involving the loss of any indulgence of taste or pride. chapter 2 mr shepherd, a civil, cautious lawyer, who, whatever might be his hold or his views on sir walter, would rather have the disagreeable prompted by anybody else, excused himself from offering the slightest hint, and only begged leave to recommend an implicit reference to the excellent judgement of lady russell, from whose known good sense he fully expected to have just such resolute measures advised as he meant to see finally adopted. lady russell was most anxiously zealous on the subject, and gave it much serious consideration. she was a woman rather of sound than of quick abilities, whose difficulties in coming to any decision in this instance were great, from the opposition of two leading principles. she was of strict integrity herself, with a delicate sense of honour; but she was as desirous of saving sir walter's feelings, as solicitous for the credit of the family, as aristocratic in her ideas of what was due to them, as anybody of sense and honesty could well be. she was a benevolent, charitable, good woman, and capable of strong attachments, most correct in her conduct, strict in her notions of decorum, and with manners that were held a standard of good-breeding. she had a cultivated mind, and was, generally speaking, rational and consistent; but she had prejudices on the side of ancestry; she had a value for rank and consequence, which blinded her a little to the faults of those who possessed them. herself the widow of only a knight, she gave the dignity of a baronet all its due; and sir walter, independent of his claims as an old acquaintance, an attentive neighbour, an obliging landlord, the husband of her very dear friend, the father of anne and her sisters, was, as being sir walter, in her apprehension, entitled to a great deal of compassion and consideration under his present difficulties. they must retrench; that did not admit of a doubt. but she was very anxious to have it done with the least possible pain to him and elizabeth. she drew up plans of economy, she made exact calculations, and she did what nobody else thought of doing: she consulted anne, who never seemed considered by the others as having any interest in the question. she consulted, and in a degree was influenced by her in marking out the scheme of retrenchment which was at last submitted to sir walter. every emendation of anne's had been on the side of honesty against importance. she wanted more vigorous measures, a more complete reformation, a quicker release from debt, a much higher tone of indifference for everything but justice and equity. "if we can persuade your father to all this," said lady russell, looking over her paper, "much may be done. if he will adopt these regulations, in seven years he will be clear; and i hope we may be able to convince him and elizabeth, that kellynch hall has a respectability in itself which cannot be affected by these reductions; and that the true dignity of sir walter elliot will be very far from lessened in the eyes of sensible people, by acting like a man of principle. what will he be doing, in fact, but what very many of our first families have done, or ought to do? there will be nothing singular in his case; and it is singularity which often makes the worst part of our suffering, as it always does of our conduct. i have great hope of prevailing. we must be serious and decided; for after all, the person who has contracted debts must pay them; and though a great deal is due to the feelings of the gentleman, and the head of a house, like your father, there is still more due to the character of an honest man." this was the principle on which anne wanted her father to be proceeding, his friends to be urging him. she considered it as an act of indispensable duty to clear away the claims of creditors with all the expedition which the most comprehensive retrenchments could secure, and saw no dignity in anything short of it. she wanted it to be prescribed, and felt as a duty. she rated lady russell's influence highly; and as to the severe degree of self-denial which her own conscience prompted, she believed there might be little more difficulty in persuading them to a complete, than to half a reformation. her knowledge of her father and elizabeth inclined her to think that the sacrifice of one pair of horses would be hardly less painful than of both, and so on, through the whole list of lady russell's too gentle reductions. how anne's more rigid requisitions might have been taken is of little consequence. lady russell's had no success at all: could not be put up with, were not to be borne. "what! every comfort of life knocked off! journeys, london, servants, horses, table--contractions and restrictions every where! to live no longer with the decencies even of a private gentleman! no, he would sooner quit kellynch hall at once, than remain in it on such disgraceful terms." "quit kellynch hall." the hint was immediately taken up by mr shepherd, whose interest was involved in the reality of sir walter's retrenching, and who was perfectly persuaded that nothing would be done without a change of abode. "since the idea had been started in the very quarter which ought to dictate, he had no scruple," he said, "in confessing his judgement to be entirely on that side. it did not appear to him that sir walter could materially alter his style of living in a house which had such a character of hospitality and ancient dignity to support. in any other place sir walter might judge for himself; and would be looked up to, as regulating the modes of life in whatever way he might choose to model his household." sir walter would quit kellynch hall; and after a very few days more of doubt and indecision, the great question of whither he should go was settled, and the first outline of this important change made out. there had been three alternatives, london, bath, or another house in the country. all anne's wishes had been for the latter. a small house in their own neighbourhood, where they might still have lady russell's society, still be near mary, and still have the pleasure of sometimes seeing the lawns and groves of kellynch, was the object of her ambition. but the usual fate of anne attended her, in having something very opposite from her inclination fixed on. she disliked bath, and did not think it agreed with her; and bath was to be her home. sir walter had at first thought more of london; but mr shepherd felt that he could not be trusted in london, and had been skilful enough to dissuade him from it, and make bath preferred. it was a much safer place for a gentleman in his predicament: he might there be important at comparatively little expense. two material advantages of bath over london had of course been given all their weight: its more convenient distance from kellynch, only fifty miles, and lady russell's spending some part of every winter there; and to the very great satisfaction of lady russell, whose first views on the projected change had been for bath, sir walter and elizabeth were induced to believe that they should lose neither consequence nor enjoyment by settling there. lady russell felt obliged to oppose her dear anne's known wishes. it would be too much to expect sir walter to descend into a small house in his own neighbourhood. anne herself would have found the mortifications of it more than she foresaw, and to sir walter's feelings they must have been dreadful. and with regard to anne's dislike of bath, she considered it as a prejudice and mistake arising, first, from the circumstance of her having been three years at school there, after her mother's death; and secondly, from her happening to be not in perfectly good spirits the only winter which she had afterwards spent there with herself. lady russell was fond of bath, in short, and disposed to think it must suit them all; and as to her young friend's health, by passing all the warm months with her at kellynch lodge, every danger would be avoided; and it was in fact, a change which must do both health and spirits good. anne had been too little from home, too little seen. her spirits were not high. a larger society would improve them. she wanted her to be more known. the undesirableness of any other house in the same neighbourhood for sir walter was certainly much strengthened by one part, and a very material part of the scheme, which had been happily engrafted on the beginning. he was not only to quit his home, but to see it in the hands of others; a trial of fortitude, which stronger heads than sir walter's have found too much. kellynch hall was to be let. this, however, was a profound secret, not to be breathed beyond their own circle. sir walter could not have borne the degradation of being known to design letting his house. mr shepherd had once mentioned the word "advertise," but never dared approach it again. sir walter spurned the idea of its being offered in any manner; forbad the slightest hint being dropped of his having such an intention; and it was only on the supposition of his being spontaneously solicited by some most unexceptionable applicant, on his own terms, and as a great favour, that he would let it at all. how quick come the reasons for approving what we like! lady russell had another excellent one at hand, for being extremely glad that sir walter and his family were to remove from the country. elizabeth had been lately forming an intimacy, which she wished to see interrupted. it was with the daughter of mr shepherd, who had returned, after an unprosperous marriage, to her father's house, with the additional burden of two children. she was a clever young woman, who understood the art of pleasing--the art of pleasing, at least, at kellynch hall; and who had made herself so acceptable to miss elliot, as to have been already staying there more than once, in spite of all that lady russell, who thought it a friendship quite out of place, could hint of caution and reserve. lady russell, indeed, had scarcely any influence with elizabeth, and seemed to love her, rather because she would love her, than because elizabeth deserved it. she had never received from her more than outward attention, nothing beyond the observances of complaisance; had never succeeded in any point which she wanted to carry, against previous inclination. she had been repeatedly very earnest in trying to get anne included in the visit to london, sensibly open to all the injustice and all the discredit of the selfish arrangements which shut her out, and on many lesser occasions had endeavoured to give elizabeth the advantage of her own better judgement and experience; but always in vain: elizabeth would go her own way; and never had she pursued it in more decided opposition to lady russell than in this selection of mrs clay; turning from the society of so deserving a sister, to bestow her affection and confidence on one who ought to have been nothing to her but the object of distant civility. from situation, mrs clay was, in lady russell's estimate, a very unequal, and in her character she believed a very dangerous companion; and a removal that would leave mrs clay behind, and bring a choice of more suitable intimates within miss elliot's reach, was therefore an object of first-rate importance. chapter 3 "i must take leave to observe, sir walter," said mr shepherd one morning at kellynch hall, as he laid down the newspaper, "that the present juncture is much in our favour. this peace will be turning all our rich naval officers ashore. they will be all wanting a home. could not be a better time, sir walter, for having a choice of tenants, very responsible tenants. many a noble fortune has been made during the war. if a rich admiral were to come in our way, sir walter--" "he would be a very lucky man, shepherd," replied sir walter; "that's all i have to remark. a prize indeed would kellynch hall be to him; rather the greatest prize of all, let him have taken ever so many before; hey, shepherd?" mr shepherd laughed, as he knew he must, at this wit, and then added-"i presume to observe, sir walter, that, in the way of business, gentlemen of the navy are well to deal with. i have had a little knowledge of their methods of doing business; and i am free to confess that they have very liberal notions, and are as likely to make desirable tenants as any set of people one should meet with. therefore, sir walter, what i would take leave to suggest is, that if in consequence of any rumours getting abroad of your intention; which must be contemplated as a possible thing, because we know how difficult it is to keep the actions and designs of one part of the world from the notice and curiosity of the other; consequence has its tax; i, john shepherd, might conceal any family-matters that i chose, for nobody would think it worth their while to observe me; but sir walter elliot has eyes upon him which it may be very difficult to elude; and therefore, thus much i venture upon, that it will not greatly surprise me if, with all our caution, some rumour of the truth should get abroad; in the supposition of which, as i was going to observe, since applications will unquestionably follow, i should think any from our wealthy naval commanders particularly worth attending to; and beg leave to add, that two hours will bring me over at any time, to save you the trouble of replying." sir walter only nodded. but soon afterwards, rising and pacing the room, he observed sarcastically-"there are few among the gentlemen of the navy, i imagine, who would not be surprised to find themselves in a house of this description." "they would look around them, no doubt, and bless their good fortune," said mrs clay, for mrs clay was present: her father had driven her over, nothing being of so much use to mrs clay's health as a drive to kellynch: "but i quite agree with my father in thinking a sailor might be a very desirable tenant. i have known a good deal of the profession; and besides their liberality, they are so neat and careful in all their ways! these valuable pictures of yours, sir walter, if you chose to leave them, would be perfectly safe. everything in and about the house would be taken such excellent care of! the gardens and shrubberies would be kept in almost as high order as they are now. you need not be afraid, miss elliot, of your own sweet flower gardens being neglected." "as to all that," rejoined sir walter coolly, "supposing i were induced to let my house, i have by no means made up my mind as to the privileges to be annexed to it. i am not particularly disposed to favour a tenant. the park would be open to him of course, and few navy officers, or men of any other description, can have had such a range; but what restrictions i might impose on the use of the pleasure-grounds, is another thing. i am not fond of the idea of my shrubberies being always approachable; and i should recommend miss elliot to be on her guard with respect to her flower garden. i am very little disposed to grant a tenant of kellynch hall any extraordinary favour, i assure you, be he sailor or soldier." after a short pause, mr shepherd presumed to say-"in all these cases, there are established usages which make everything plain and easy between landlord and tenant. your interest, sir walter, is in pretty safe hands. depend upon me for taking care that no tenant has more than his just rights. i venture to hint, that sir walter elliot cannot be half so jealous for his own, as john shepherd will be for him." here anne spoke-"the navy, i think, who have done so much for us, have at least an equal claim with any other set of men, for all the comforts and all the privileges which any home can give. sailors work hard enough for their comforts, we must all allow." "very true, very true. what miss anne says, is very true," was mr shepherd's rejoinder, and "oh! certainly," was his daughter's; but sir walter's remark was, soon afterwards-"the profession has its utility, but i should be sorry to see any friend of mine belonging to it." "indeed!" was the reply, and with a look of surprise. "yes; it is in two points offensive to me; i have two strong grounds of objection to it. first, as being the means of bringing persons of obscure birth into undue distinction, and raising men to honours which their fathers and grandfathers never dreamt of; and secondly, as it cuts up a man's youth and vigour most horribly; a sailor grows old sooner than any other man. i have observed it all my life. a man is in greater danger in the navy of being insulted by the rise of one whose father, his father might have disdained to speak to, and of becoming prematurely an object of disgust himself, than in any other line. one day last spring, in town, i was in company with two men, striking instances of what i am talking of; lord st ives, whose father we all know to have been a country curate, without bread to eat; i was to give place to lord st ives, and a certain admiral baldwin, the most deplorable-looking personage you can imagine; his face the colour of mahogany, rough and rugged to the last degree; all lines and wrinkles, nine grey hairs of a side, and nothing but a dab of powder at top. 'in the name of heaven, who is that old fellow?' said i to a friend of mine who was standing near, (sir basil morley). 'old fellow!' cried sir basil, 'it is admiral baldwin. what do you take his age to be?' 'sixty,' said i, 'or perhaps sixty-two.' 'forty,' replied sir basil, 'forty, and no more.' picture to yourselves my amazement; i shall not easily forget admiral baldwin. i never saw quite so wretched an example of what a sea-faring life can do; but to a degree, i know it is the same with them all: they are all knocked about, and exposed to every climate, and every weather, till they are not fit to be seen. it is a pity they are not knocked on the head at once, before they reach admiral baldwin's age." "nay, sir walter," cried mrs clay, "this is being severe indeed. have a little mercy on the poor men. we are not all born to be handsome. the sea is no beautifier, certainly; sailors do grow old betimes; i have observed it; they soon lose the look of youth. but then, is not it the same with many other professions, perhaps most other? soldiers, in active service, are not at all better off: and even in the quieter professions, there is a toil and a labour of the mind, if not of the body, which seldom leaves a man's looks to the natural effect of time. the lawyer plods, quite care-worn; the physician is up at all hours, and travelling in all weather; and even the clergyman--" she stopt a moment to consider what might do for the clergyman;--"and even the clergyman, you know is obliged to go into infected rooms, and expose his health and looks to all the injury of a poisonous atmosphere. in fact, as i have long been convinced, though every profession is necessary and honourable in its turn, it is only the lot of those who are not obliged to follow any, who can live in a regular way, in the country, choosing their own hours, following their own pursuits, and living on their own property, without the torment of trying for more; it is only their lot, i say, to hold the blessings of health and a good appearance to the utmost: i know no other set of men but what lose something of their personableness when they cease to be quite young." it seemed as if mr shepherd, in this anxiety to bespeak sir walter's good will towards a naval officer as tenant, had been gifted with foresight; for the very first application for the house was from an admiral croft, with whom he shortly afterwards fell into company in attending the quarter sessions at taunton; and indeed, he had received a hint of the admiral from a london correspondent. by the report which he hastened over to kellynch to make, admiral croft was a native of somersetshire, who having acquired a very handsome fortune, was wishing to settle in his own country, and had come down to taunton in order to look at some advertised places in that immediate neighbourhood, which, however, had not suited him; that accidentally hearing--(it was just as he had foretold, mr shepherd observed, sir walter's concerns could not be kept a secret,)--accidentally hearing of the possibility of kellynch hall being to let, and understanding his (mr shepherd's) connection with the owner, he had introduced himself to him in order to make particular inquiries, and had, in the course of a pretty long conference, expressed as strong an inclination for the place as a man who knew it only by description could feel; and given mr shepherd, in his explicit account of himself, every proof of his being a most responsible, eligible tenant. "and who is admiral croft?" was sir walter's cold suspicious inquiry. mr shepherd answered for his being of a gentleman's family, and mentioned a place; and anne, after the little pause which followed, added-"he is a rear admiral of the white. he was in the trafalgar action, and has been in the east indies since; he was stationed there, i believe, several years." "then i take it for granted," observed sir walter, "that his face is about as orange as the cuffs and capes of my livery." mr shepherd hastened to assure him, that admiral croft was a very hale, hearty, well-looking man, a little weather-beaten, to be sure, but not much, and quite the gentleman in all his notions and behaviour; not likely to make the smallest difficulty about terms, only wanted a comfortable home, and to get into it as soon as possible; knew he must pay for his convenience; knew what rent a ready-furnished house of that consequence might fetch; should not have been surprised if sir walter had asked more; had inquired about the manor; would be glad of the deputation, certainly, but made no great point of it; said he sometimes took out a gun, but never killed; quite the gentleman. mr shepherd was eloquent on the subject; pointing out all the circumstances of the admiral's family, which made him peculiarly desirable as a tenant. he was a married man, and without children; the very state to be wished for. a house was never taken good care of, mr shepherd observed, without a lady: he did not know, whether furniture might not be in danger of suffering as much where there was no lady, as where there were many children. a lady, without a family, was the very best preserver of furniture in the world. he had seen mrs croft, too; she was at taunton with the admiral, and had been present almost all the time they were talking the matter over. "and a very well-spoken, genteel, shrewd lady, she seemed to be," continued he; "asked more questions about the house, and terms, and taxes, than the admiral himself, and seemed more conversant with business; and moreover, sir walter, i found she was not quite unconnected in this country, any more than her husband; that is to say, she is sister to a gentleman who did live amongst us once; she told me so herself: sister to the gentleman who lived a few years back at monkford. bless me! what was his name? at this moment i cannot recollect his name, though i have heard it so lately. penelope, my dear, can you help me to the name of the gentleman who lived at monkford: mrs croft's brother?" but mrs clay was talking so eagerly with miss elliot, that she did not hear the appeal. "i have no conception whom you can mean, shepherd; i remember no gentleman resident at monkford since the time of old governor trent." "bless me! how very odd! i shall forget my own name soon, i suppose. a name that i am so very well acquainted with; knew the gentleman so well by sight; seen him a hundred times; came to consult me once, i remember, about a trespass of one of his neighbours; farmer's man breaking into his orchard; wall torn down; apples stolen; caught in the fact; and afterwards, contrary to my judgement, submitted to an amicable compromise. very odd indeed!" after waiting another moment-"you mean mr wentworth, i suppose?" said anne. mr shepherd was all gratitude. "wentworth was the very name! mr wentworth was the very man. he had the curacy of monkford, you know, sir walter, some time back, for two or three years. came there about the year ---5, i take it. you remember him, i am sure." "wentworth? oh! ay,--mr wentworth, the curate of monkford. you misled me by the term gentleman. i thought you were speaking of some man of property: mr wentworth was nobody, i remember; quite unconnected; nothing to do with the strafford family. one wonders how the names of many of our nobility become so common." as mr shepherd perceived that this connexion of the crofts did them no service with sir walter, he mentioned it no more; returning, with all his zeal, to dwell on the circumstances more indisputably in their favour; their age, and number, and fortune; the high idea they had formed of kellynch hall, and extreme solicitude for the advantage of renting it; making it appear as if they ranked nothing beyond the happiness of being the tenants of sir walter elliot: an extraordinary taste, certainly, could they have been supposed in the secret of sir walter's estimate of the dues of a tenant. it succeeded, however; and though sir walter must ever look with an evil eye on anyone intending to inhabit that house, and think them infinitely too well off in being permitted to rent it on the highest terms, he was talked into allowing mr shepherd to proceed in the treaty, and authorising him to wait on admiral croft, who still remained at taunton, and fix a day for the house being seen. sir walter was not very wise; but still he had experience enough of the world to feel, that a more unobjectionable tenant, in all essentials, than admiral croft bid fair to be, could hardly offer. so far went his understanding; and his vanity supplied a little additional soothing, in the admiral's situation in life, which was just high enough, and not too high. "i have let my house to admiral croft," would sound extremely well; very much better than to any mere mr--; a mr (save, perhaps, some half dozen in the nation,) always needs a note of explanation. an admiral speaks his own consequence, and, at the same time, can never make a baronet look small. in all their dealings and intercourse, sir walter elliot must ever have the precedence. nothing could be done without a reference to elizabeth: but her inclination was growing so strong for a removal, that she was happy to have it fixed and expedited by a tenant at hand; and not a word to suspend decision was uttered by her. mr shepherd was completely empowered to act; and no sooner had such an end been reached, than anne, who had been a most attentive listener to the whole, left the room, to seek the comfort of cool air for her flushed cheeks; and as she walked along a favourite grove, said, with a gentle sigh, "a few months more, and he, perhaps, may be walking here." chapter 4 he was not mr wentworth, the former curate of monkford, however suspicious appearances may be, but a captain frederick wentworth, his brother, who being made commander in consequence of the action off st domingo, and not immediately employed, had come into somersetshire, in the summer of 1806; and having no parent living, found a home for half a year at monkford. he was, at that time, a remarkably fine young man, with a great deal of intelligence, spirit, and brilliancy; and anne an extremely pretty girl, with gentleness, modesty, taste, and feeling. half the sum of attraction, on either side, might have been enough, for he had nothing to do, and she had hardly anybody to love; but the encounter of such lavish recommendations could not fail. they were gradually acquainted, and when acquainted, rapidly and deeply in love. it would be difficult to say which had seen highest perfection in the other, or which had been the happiest: she, in receiving his declarations and proposals, or he in having them accepted. a short period of exquisite felicity followed, and but a short one. troubles soon arose. sir walter, on being applied to, without actually withholding his consent, or saying it should never be, gave it all the negative of great astonishment, great coldness, great silence, and a professed resolution of doing nothing for his daughter. he thought it a very degrading alliance; and lady russell, though with more tempered and pardonable pride, received it as a most unfortunate one. anne elliot, with all her claims of birth, beauty, and mind, to throw herself away at nineteen; involve herself at nineteen in an engagement with a young man, who had nothing but himself to recommend him, and no hopes of attaining affluence, but in the chances of a most uncertain profession, and no connexions to secure even his farther rise in the profession, would be, indeed, a throwing away, which she grieved to think of! anne elliot, so young; known to so few, to be snatched off by a stranger without alliance or fortune; or rather sunk by him into a state of most wearing, anxious, youth-killing dependence! it must not be, if by any fair interference of friendship, any representations from one who had almost a mother's love, and mother's rights, it would be prevented. captain wentworth had no fortune. he had been lucky in his profession; but spending freely, what had come freely, had realized nothing. but he was confident that he should soon be rich: full of life and ardour, he knew that he should soon have a ship, and soon be on a station that would lead to everything he wanted. he had always been lucky; he knew he should be so still. such confidence, powerful in its own warmth, and bewitching in the wit which often expressed it, must have been enough for anne; but lady russell saw it very differently. his sanguine temper, and fearlessness of mind, operated very differently on her. she saw in it but an aggravation of the evil. it only added a dangerous character to himself. he was brilliant, he was headstrong. lady russell had little taste for wit, and of anything approaching to imprudence a horror. she deprecated the connexion in every light. such opposition, as these feelings produced, was more than anne could combat. young and gentle as she was, it might yet have been possible to withstand her father's ill-will, though unsoftened by one kind word or look on the part of her sister; but lady russell, whom she had always loved and relied on, could not, with such steadiness of opinion, and such tenderness of manner, be continually advising her in vain. she was persuaded to believe the engagement a wrong thing: indiscreet, improper, hardly capable of success, and not deserving it. but it was not a merely selfish caution, under which she acted, in putting an end to it. had she not imagined herself consulting his good, even more than her own, she could hardly have given him up. the belief of being prudent, and self-denying, principally for his advantage, was her chief consolation, under the misery of a parting, a final parting; and every consolation was required, for she had to encounter all the additional pain of opinions, on his side, totally unconvinced and unbending, and of his feeling himself ill used by so forced a relinquishment. he had left the country in consequence. a few months had seen the beginning and the end of their acquaintance; but not with a few months ended anne's share of suffering from it. her attachment and regrets had, for a long time, clouded every enjoyment of youth, and an early loss of bloom and spirits had been their lasting effect. more than seven years were gone since this little history of sorrowful interest had reached its close; and time had softened down much, perhaps nearly all of peculiar attachment to him, but she had been too dependent on time alone; no aid had been given in change of place (except in one visit to bath soon after the rupture), or in any novelty or enlargement of society. no one had ever come within the kellynch circle, who could bear a comparison with frederick wentworth, as he stood in her memory. no second attachment, the only thoroughly natural, happy, and sufficient cure, at her time of life, had been possible to the nice tone of her mind, the fastidiousness of her taste, in the small limits of the society around them. she had been solicited, when about two-and-twenty, to change her name, by the young man, who not long afterwards found a more willing mind in her younger sister; and lady russell had lamented her refusal; for charles musgrove was the eldest son of a man, whose landed property and general importance were second in that country, only to sir walter's, and of good character and appearance; and however lady russell might have asked yet for something more, while anne was nineteen, she would have rejoiced to see her at twenty-two so respectably removed from the partialities and injustice of her father's house, and settled so permanently near herself. but in this case, anne had left nothing for advice to do; and though lady russell, as satisfied as ever with her own discretion, never wished the past undone, she began now to have the anxiety which borders on hopelessness for anne's being tempted, by some man of talents and independence, to enter a state for which she held her to be peculiarly fitted by her warm affections and domestic habits. they knew not each other's opinion, either its constancy or its change, on the one leading point of anne's conduct, for the subject was never alluded to; but anne, at seven-and-twenty, thought very differently from what she had been made to think at nineteen. she did not blame lady russell, she did not blame herself for having been guided by her; but she felt that were any young person, in similar circumstances, to apply to her for counsel, they would never receive any of such certain immediate wretchedness, such uncertain future good. she was persuaded that under every disadvantage of disapprobation at home, and every anxiety attending his profession, all their probable fears, delays, and disappointments, she should yet have been a happier woman in maintaining the engagement, than she had been in the sacrifice of it; and this, she fully believed, had the usual share, had even more than the usual share of all such solicitudes and suspense been theirs, without reference to the actual results of their case, which, as it happened, would have bestowed earlier prosperity than could be reasonably calculated on. all his sanguine expectations, all his confidence had been justified. his genius and ardour had seemed to foresee and to command his prosperous path. he had, very soon after their engagement ceased, got employ: and all that he had told her would follow, had taken place. he had distinguished himself, and early gained the other step in rank, and must now, by successive captures, have made a handsome fortune. she had only navy lists and newspapers for her authority, but she could not doubt his being rich; and, in favour of his constancy, she had no reason to believe him married. how eloquent could anne elliot have been! how eloquent, at least, were her wishes on the side of early warm attachment, and a cheerful confidence in futurity, against that over-anxious caution which seems to insult exertion and distrust providence! she had been forced into prudence in her youth, she learned romance as she grew older: the natural sequel of an unnatural beginning. with all these circumstances, recollections and feelings, she could not hear that captain wentworth's sister was likely to live at kellynch without a revival of former pain; and many a stroll, and many a sigh, were necessary to dispel the agitation of the idea. she often told herself it was folly, before she could harden her nerves sufficiently to feel the continual discussion of the crofts and their business no evil. she was assisted, however, by that perfect indifference and apparent unconsciousness, among the only three of her own friends in the secret of the past, which seemed almost to deny any recollection of it. she could do justice to the superiority of lady russell's motives in this, over those of her father and elizabeth; she could honour all the better feelings of her calmness; but the general air of oblivion among them was highly important from whatever it sprung; and in the event of admiral croft's really taking kellynch hall, she rejoiced anew over the conviction which had always been most grateful to her, of the past being known to those three only among her connexions, by whom no syllable, she believed, would ever be whispered, and in the trust that among his, the brother only with whom he had been residing, had received any information of their short-lived engagement. that brother had been long removed from the country and being a sensible man, and, moreover, a single man at the time, she had a fond dependence on no human creature's having heard of it from him. the sister, mrs croft, had then been out of england, accompanying her husband on a foreign station, and her own sister, mary, had been at school while it all occurred; and never admitted by the pride of some, and the delicacy of others, to the smallest knowledge of it afterwards. with these supports, she hoped that the acquaintance between herself and the crofts, which, with lady russell, still resident in kellynch, and mary fixed only three miles off, must be anticipated, need not involve any particular awkwardness. chapter 5 on the morning appointed for admiral and mrs croft's seeing kellynch hall, anne found it most natural to take her almost daily walk to lady russell's, and keep out of the way till all was over; when she found it most natural to be sorry that she had missed the opportunity of seeing them. this meeting of the two parties proved highly satisfactory, and decided the whole business at once. each lady was previously well disposed for an agreement, and saw nothing, therefore, but good manners in the other; and with regard to the gentlemen, there was such an hearty good humour, such an open, trusting liberality on the admiral's side, as could not but influence sir walter, who had besides been flattered into his very best and most polished behaviour by mr shepherd's assurances of his being known, by report, to the admiral, as a model of good breeding. the house and grounds, and furniture, were approved, the crofts were approved, terms, time, every thing, and every body, was right; and mr shepherd's clerks were set to work, without there having been a single preliminary difference to modify of all that "this indenture sheweth." sir walter, without hesitation, declared the admiral to be the best-looking sailor he had ever met with, and went so far as to say, that if his own man might have had the arranging of his hair, he should not be ashamed of being seen with him any where; and the admiral, with sympathetic cordiality, observed to his wife as they drove back through the park, "i thought we should soon come to a deal, my dear, in spite of what they told us at taunton. the baronet will never set the thames on fire, but there seems to be no harm in him."--reciprocal compliments, which would have been esteemed about equal. the crofts were to have possession at michaelmas; and as sir walter proposed removing to bath in the course of the preceding month, there was no time to be lost in making every dependent arrangement. lady russell, convinced that anne would not be allowed to be of any use, or any importance, in the choice of the house which they were going to secure, was very unwilling to have her hurried away so soon, and wanted to make it possible for her to stay behind till she might convey her to bath herself after christmas; but having engagements of her own which must take her from kellynch for several weeks, she was unable to give the full invitation she wished, and anne though dreading the possible heats of september in all the white glare of bath, and grieving to forego all the influence so sweet and so sad of the autumnal months in the country, did not think that, everything considered, she wished to remain. it would be most right, and most wise, and, therefore must involve least suffering to go with the others. something occurred, however, to give her a different duty. mary, often a little unwell, and always thinking a great deal of her own complaints, and always in the habit of claiming anne when anything was the matter, was indisposed; and foreseeing that she should not have a day's health all the autumn, entreated, or rather required her, for it was hardly entreaty, to come to uppercross cottage, and bear her company as long as she should want her, instead of going to bath. "i cannot possibly do without anne," was mary's reasoning; and elizabeth's reply was, "then i am sure anne had better stay, for nobody will want her in bath." to be claimed as a good, though in an improper style, is at least better than being rejected as no good at all; and anne, glad to be thought of some use, glad to have anything marked out as a duty, and certainly not sorry to have the scene of it in the country, and her own dear country, readily agreed to stay. this invitation of mary's removed all lady russell's difficulties, and it was consequently soon settled that anne should not go to bath till lady russell took her, and that all the intervening time should be divided between uppercross cottage and kellynch lodge. so far all was perfectly right; but lady russell was almost startled by the wrong of one part of the kellynch hall plan, when it burst on her, which was, mrs clay's being engaged to go to bath with sir walter and elizabeth, as a most important and valuable assistant to the latter in all the business before her. lady russell was extremely sorry that such a measure should have been resorted to at all, wondered, grieved, and feared; and the affront it contained to anne, in mrs clay's being of so much use, while anne could be of none, was a very sore aggravation. anne herself was become hardened to such affronts; but she felt the imprudence of the arrangement quite as keenly as lady russell. with a great deal of quiet observation, and a knowledge, which she often wished less, of her father's character, she was sensible that results the most serious to his family from the intimacy were more than possible. she did not imagine that her father had at present an idea of the kind. mrs clay had freckles, and a projecting tooth, and a clumsy wrist, which he was continually making severe remarks upon, in her absence; but she was young, and certainly altogether well-looking, and possessed, in an acute mind and assiduous pleasing manners, infinitely more dangerous attractions than any merely personal might have been. anne was so impressed by the degree of their danger, that she could not excuse herself from trying to make it perceptible to her sister. she had little hope of success; but elizabeth, who in the event of such a reverse would be so much more to be pitied than herself, should never, she thought, have reason to reproach her for giving no warning. she spoke, and seemed only to offend. elizabeth could not conceive how such an absurd suspicion should occur to her, and indignantly answered for each party's perfectly knowing their situation. "mrs clay," said she, warmly, "never forgets who she is; and as i am rather better acquainted with her sentiments than you can be, i can assure you, that upon the subject of marriage they are particularly nice, and that she reprobates all inequality of condition and rank more strongly than most people. and as to my father, i really should not have thought that he, who has kept himself single so long for our sakes, need be suspected now. if mrs clay were a very beautiful woman, i grant you, it might be wrong to have her so much with me; not that anything in the world, i am sure, would induce my father to make a degrading match, but he might be rendered unhappy. but poor mrs clay who, with all her merits, can never have been reckoned tolerably pretty, i really think poor mrs clay may be staying here in perfect safety. one would imagine you had never heard my father speak of her personal misfortunes, though i know you must fifty times. that tooth of her's and those freckles. freckles do not disgust me so very much as they do him. i have known a face not materially disfigured by a few, but he abominates them. you must have heard him notice mrs clay's freckles." "there is hardly any personal defect," replied anne, "which an agreeable manner might not gradually reconcile one to." "i think very differently," answered elizabeth, shortly; "an agreeable manner may set off handsome features, but can never alter plain ones. however, at any rate, as i have a great deal more at stake on this point than anybody else can have, i think it rather unnecessary in you to be advising me." anne had done; glad that it was over, and not absolutely hopeless of doing good. elizabeth, though resenting the suspicion, might yet be made observant by it. the last office of the four carriage-horses was to draw sir walter, miss elliot, and mrs clay to bath. the party drove off in very good spirits; sir walter prepared with condescending bows for all the afflicted tenantry and cottagers who might have had a hint to show themselves, and anne walked up at the same time, in a sort of desolate tranquillity, to the lodge, where she was to spend the first week. her friend was not in better spirits than herself. lady russell felt this break-up of the family exceedingly. their respectability was as dear to her as her own, and a daily intercourse had become precious by habit. it was painful to look upon their deserted grounds, and still worse to anticipate the new hands they were to fall into; and to escape the solitariness and the melancholy of so altered a village, and be out of the way when admiral and mrs croft first arrived, she had determined to make her own absence from home begin when she must give up anne. accordingly their removal was made together, and anne was set down at uppercross cottage, in the first stage of lady russell's journey. uppercross was a moderate-sized village, which a few years back had been completely in the old english style, containing only two houses superior in appearance to those of the yeomen and labourers; the mansion of the squire, with its high walls, great gates, and old trees, substantial and unmodernized, and the compact, tight parsonage, enclosed in its own neat garden, with a vine and a pear-tree trained round its casements; but upon the marriage of the young 'squire, it had received the improvement of a farm-house elevated into a cottage, for his residence, and uppercross cottage, with its veranda, french windows, and other prettiness, was quite as likely to catch the traveller's eye as the more consistent and considerable aspect and premises of the great house, about a quarter of a mile farther on. here anne had often been staying. she knew the ways of uppercross as well as those of kellynch. the two families were so continually meeting, so much in the habit of running in and out of each other's house at all hours, that it was rather a surprise to her to find mary alone; but being alone, her being unwell and out of spirits was almost a matter of course. though better endowed than the elder sister, mary had not anne's understanding nor temper. while well, and happy, and properly attended to, she had great good humour and excellent spirits; but any indisposition sunk her completely. she had no resources for solitude; and inheriting a considerable share of the elliot self-importance, was very prone to add to every other distress that of fancying herself neglected and ill-used. in person, she was inferior to both sisters, and had, even in her bloom, only reached the dignity of being "a fine girl." she was now lying on the faded sofa of the pretty little drawing-room, the once elegant furniture of which had been gradually growing shabby, under the influence of four summers and two children; and, on anne's appearing, greeted her with-"so, you are come at last! i began to think i should never see you. i am so ill i can hardly speak. i have not seen a creature the whole morning!" "i am sorry to find you unwell," replied anne. "you sent me such a good account of yourself on thursday!" "yes, i made the best of it; i always do: but i was very far from well at the time; and i do not think i ever was so ill in my life as i have been all this morning: very unfit to be left alone, i am sure. suppose i were to be seized of a sudden in some dreadful way, and not able to ring the bell! so, lady russell would not get out. i do not think she has been in this house three times this summer." anne said what was proper, and enquired after her husband. "oh! charles is out shooting. i have not seen him since seven o'clock. he would go, though i told him how ill i was. he said he should not stay out long; but he has never come back, and now it is almost one. i assure you, i have not seen a soul this whole long morning." "you have had your little boys with you?" "yes, as long as i could bear their noise; but they are so unmanageable that they do me more harm than good. little charles does not mind a word i say, and walter is growing quite as bad." "well, you will soon be better now," replied anne, cheerfully. "you know i always cure you when i come. how are your neighbours at the great house?" "i can give you no account of them. i have not seen one of them to-day, except mr musgrove, who just stopped and spoke through the window, but without getting off his horse; and though i told him how ill i was, not one of them have been near me. it did not happen to suit the miss musgroves, i suppose, and they never put themselves out of their way." "you will see them yet, perhaps, before the morning is gone. it is early." "i never want them, i assure you. they talk and laugh a great deal too much for me. oh! anne, i am so very unwell! it was quite unkind of you not to come on thursday." "my dear mary, recollect what a comfortable account you sent me of yourself! you wrote in the cheerfullest manner, and said you were perfectly well, and in no hurry for me; and that being the case, you must be aware that my wish would be to remain with lady russell to the last: and besides what i felt on her account, i have really been so busy, have had so much to do, that i could not very conveniently have left kellynch sooner." "dear me! what can you possibly have to do?" "a great many things, i assure you. more than i can recollect in a moment; but i can tell you some. i have been making a duplicate of the catalogue of my father's books and pictures. i have been several times in the garden with mackenzie, trying to understand, and make him understand, which of elizabeth's plants are for lady russell. i have had all my own little concerns to arrange, books and music to divide, and all my trunks to repack, from not having understood in time what was intended as to the waggons: and one thing i have had to do, mary, of a more trying nature: going to almost every house in the parish, as a sort of take-leave. i was told that they wished it. but all these things took up a great deal of time." "oh! well!" and after a moment's pause, "but you have never asked me one word about our dinner at the pooles yesterday." "did you go then? i have made no enquiries, because i concluded you must have been obliged to give up the party." "oh yes! i went. i was very well yesterday; nothing at all the matter with me till this morning. it would have been strange if i had not gone." "i am very glad you were well enough, and i hope you had a pleasant party." "nothing remarkable. one always knows beforehand what the dinner will be, and who will be there; and it is so very uncomfortable not having a carriage of one's own. mr and mrs musgrove took me, and we were so crowded! they are both so very large, and take up so much room; and mr musgrove always sits forward. so, there was i, crowded into the back seat with henrietta and louisa; and i think it very likely that my illness to-day may be owing to it." a little further perseverance in patience and forced cheerfulness on anne's side produced nearly a cure on mary's. she could soon sit upright on the sofa, and began to hope she might be able to leave it by dinner-time. then, forgetting to think of it, she was at the other end of the room, beautifying a nosegay; then, she ate her cold meat; and then she was well enough to propose a little walk. "where shall we go?" said she, when they were ready. "i suppose you will not like to call at the great house before they have been to see you?" "i have not the smallest objection on that account," replied anne. "i should never think of standing on such ceremony with people i know so well as mrs and the miss musgroves." "oh! but they ought to call upon you as soon as possible. they ought to feel what is due to you as my sister. however, we may as well go and sit with them a little while, and when we have that over, we can enjoy our walk." anne had always thought such a style of intercourse highly imprudent; but she had ceased to endeavour to check it, from believing that, though there were on each side continual subjects of offence, neither family could now do without it. to the great house accordingly they went, to sit the full half hour in the old-fashioned square parlour, with a small carpet and shining floor, to which the present daughters of the house were gradually giving the proper air of confusion by a grand piano-forte and a harp, flower-stands and little tables placed in every direction. oh! could the originals of the portraits against the wainscot, could the gentlemen in brown velvet and the ladies in blue satin have seen what was going on, have been conscious of such an overthrow of all order and neatness! the portraits themselves seemed to be staring in astonishment. the musgroves, like their houses, were in a state of alteration, perhaps of improvement. the father and mother were in the old english style, and the young people in the new. mr and mrs musgrove were a very good sort of people; friendly and hospitable, not much educated, and not at all elegant. their children had more modern minds and manners. there was a numerous family; but the only two grown up, excepting charles, were henrietta and louisa, young ladies of nineteen and twenty, who had brought from school at exeter all the usual stock of accomplishments, and were now like thousands of other young ladies, living to be fashionable, happy, and merry. their dress had every advantage, their faces were rather pretty, their spirits extremely good, their manner unembarrassed and pleasant; they were of consequence at home, and favourites abroad. anne always contemplated them as some of the happiest creatures of her acquaintance; but still, saved as we all are, by some comfortable feeling of superiority from wishing for the possibility of exchange, she would not have given up her own more elegant and cultivated mind for all their enjoyments; and envied them nothing but that seemingly perfect good understanding and agreement together, that good-humoured mutual affection, of which she had known so little herself with either of her sisters. they were received with great cordiality. nothing seemed amiss on the side of the great house family, which was generally, as anne very well knew, the least to blame. the half hour was chatted away pleasantly enough; and she was not at all surprised, at the end of it, to have their walking party joined by both the miss musgroves, at mary's particular invitation. chapter 6 anne had not wanted this visit to uppercross, to learn that a removal from one set of people to another, though at a distance of only three miles, will often include a total change of conversation, opinion, and idea. she had never been staying there before, without being struck by it, or without wishing that other elliots could have her advantage in seeing how unknown, or unconsidered there, were the affairs which at kellynch hall were treated as of such general publicity and pervading interest; yet, with all this experience, she believed she must now submit to feel that another lesson, in the art of knowing our own nothingness beyond our own circle, was become necessary for her; for certainly, coming as she did, with a heart full of the subject which had been completely occupying both houses in kellynch for many weeks, she had expected rather more curiosity and sympathy than she found in the separate but very similar remark of mr and mrs musgrove: "so, miss anne, sir walter and your sister are gone; and what part of bath do you think they will settle in?" and this, without much waiting for an answer; or in the young ladies' addition of, "i hope we shall be in bath in the winter; but remember, papa, if we do go, we must be in a good situation: none of your queen squares for us!" or in the anxious supplement from mary, of--"upon my word, i shall be pretty well off, when you are all gone away to be happy at bath!" she could only resolve to avoid such self-delusion in future, and think with heightened gratitude of the extraordinary blessing of having one such truly sympathising friend as lady russell. the mr musgroves had their own game to guard, and to destroy, their own horses, dogs, and newspapers to engage them, and the females were fully occupied in all the other common subjects of housekeeping, neighbours, dress, dancing, and music. she acknowledged it to be very fitting, that every little social commonwealth should dictate its own matters of discourse; and hoped, ere long, to become a not unworthy member of the one she was now transplanted into. with the prospect of spending at least two months at uppercross, it was highly incumbent on her to clothe her imagination, her memory, and all her ideas in as much of uppercross as possible. she had no dread of these two months. mary was not so repulsive and unsisterly as elizabeth, nor so inaccessible to all influence of hers; neither was there anything among the other component parts of the cottage inimical to comfort. she was always on friendly terms with her brother-in-law; and in the children, who loved her nearly as well, and respected her a great deal more than their mother, she had an object of interest, amusement, and wholesome exertion. charles musgrove was civil and agreeable; in sense and temper he was undoubtedly superior to his wife, but not of powers, or conversation, or grace, to make the past, as they were connected together, at all a dangerous contemplation; though, at the same time, anne could believe, with lady russell, that a more equal match might have greatly improved him; and that a woman of real understanding might have given more consequence to his character, and more usefulness, rationality, and elegance to his habits and pursuits. as it was, he did nothing with much zeal, but sport; and his time was otherwise trifled away, without benefit from books or anything else. he had very good spirits, which never seemed much affected by his wife's occasional lowness, bore with her unreasonableness sometimes to anne's admiration, and upon the whole, though there was very often a little disagreement (in which she had sometimes more share than she wished, being appealed to by both parties), they might pass for a happy couple. they were always perfectly agreed in the want of more money, and a strong inclination for a handsome present from his father; but here, as on most topics, he had the superiority, for while mary thought it a great shame that such a present was not made, he always contended for his father's having many other uses for his money, and a right to spend it as he liked. as to the management of their children, his theory was much better than his wife's, and his practice not so bad. "i could manage them very well, if it were not for mary's interference," was what anne often heard him say, and had a good deal of faith in; but when listening in turn to mary's reproach of "charles spoils the children so that i cannot get them into any order," she never had the smallest temptation to say, "very true." one of the least agreeable circumstances of her residence there was her being treated with too much confidence by all parties, and being too much in the secret of the complaints of each house. known to have some influence with her sister, she was continually requested, or at least receiving hints to exert it, beyond what was practicable. "i wish you could persuade mary not to be always fancying herself ill," was charles's language; and, in an unhappy mood, thus spoke mary: "i do believe if charles were to see me dying, he would not think there was anything the matter with me. i am sure, anne, if you would, you might persuade him that i really am very ill--a great deal worse than i ever own." mary's declaration was, "i hate sending the children to the great house, though their grandmamma is always wanting to see them, for she humours and indulges them to such a degree, and gives them so much trash and sweet things, that they are sure to come back sick and cross for the rest of the day." and mrs musgrove took the first opportunity of being alone with anne, to say, "oh! miss anne, i cannot help wishing mrs charles had a little of your method with those children. they are quite different creatures with you! but to be sure, in general they are so spoilt! it is a pity you cannot put your sister in the way of managing them. they are as fine healthy children as ever were seen, poor little dears! without partiality; but mrs charles knows no more how they should be treated--! bless me! how troublesome they are sometimes. i assure you, miss anne, it prevents my wishing to see them at our house so often as i otherwise should. i believe mrs charles is not quite pleased with my not inviting them oftener; but you know it is very bad to have children with one that one is obligated to be checking every moment; "don't do this," and "don't do that;" or that one can only keep in tolerable order by more cake than is good for them." she had this communication, moreover, from mary. "mrs musgrove thinks all her servants so steady, that it would be high treason to call it in question; but i am sure, without exaggeration, that her upper house-maid and laundry-maid, instead of being in their business, are gadding about the village, all day long. i meet them wherever i go; and i declare, i never go twice into my nursery without seeing something of them. if jemima were not the trustiest, steadiest creature in the world, it would be enough to spoil her; for she tells me, they are always tempting her to take a walk with them." and on mrs musgrove's side, it was, "i make a rule of never interfering in any of my daughter-in-law's concerns, for i know it would not do; but i shall tell you, miss anne, because you may be able to set things to rights, that i have no very good opinion of mrs charles's nursery-maid: i hear strange stories of her; she is always upon the gad; and from my own knowledge, i can declare, she is such a fine-dressing lady, that she is enough to ruin any servants she comes near. mrs charles quite swears by her, i know; but i just give you this hint, that you may be upon the watch; because, if you see anything amiss, you need not be afraid of mentioning it." again, it was mary's complaint, that mrs musgrove was very apt not to give her the precedence that was her due, when they dined at the great house with other families; and she did not see any reason why she was to be considered so much at home as to lose her place. and one day when anne was walking with only the musgroves, one of them after talking of rank, people of rank, and jealousy of rank, said, "i have no scruple of observing to you, how nonsensical some persons are about their place, because all the world knows how easy and indifferent you are about it; but i wish anybody could give mary a hint that it would be a great deal better if she were not so very tenacious, especially if she would not be always putting herself forward to take place of mamma. nobody doubts her right to have precedence of mamma, but it would be more becoming in her not to be always insisting on it. it is not that mamma cares about it the least in the world, but i know it is taken notice of by many persons." how was anne to set all these matters to rights? she could do little more than listen patiently, soften every grievance, and excuse each to the other; give them all hints of the forbearance necessary between such near neighbours, and make those hints broadest which were meant for her sister's benefit. in all other respects, her visit began and proceeded very well. her own spirits improved by change of place and subject, by being removed three miles from kellynch; mary's ailments lessened by having a constant companion, and their daily intercourse with the other family, since there was neither superior affection, confidence, nor employment in the cottage, to be interrupted by it, was rather an advantage. it was certainly carried nearly as far as possible, for they met every morning, and hardly ever spent an evening asunder; but she believed they should not have done so well without the sight of mr and mrs musgrove's respectable forms in the usual places, or without the talking, laughing, and singing of their daughters. she played a great deal better than either of the miss musgroves, but having no voice, no knowledge of the harp, and no fond parents, to sit by and fancy themselves delighted, her performance was little thought of, only out of civility, or to refresh the others, as she was well aware. she knew that when she played she was giving pleasure only to herself; but this was no new sensation. excepting one short period of her life, she had never, since the age of fourteen, never since the loss of her dear mother, known the happiness of being listened to, or encouraged by any just appreciation or real taste. in music she had been always used to feel alone in the world; and mr and mrs musgrove's fond partiality for their own daughters' performance, and total indifference to any other person's, gave her much more pleasure for their sakes, than mortification for her own. the party at the great house was sometimes increased by other company. the neighbourhood was not large, but the musgroves were visited by everybody, and had more dinner-parties, and more callers, more visitors by invitation and by chance, than any other family. they were more completely popular. the girls were wild for dancing; and the evenings ended, occasionally, in an unpremeditated little ball. there was a family of cousins within a walk of uppercross, in less affluent circumstances, who depended on the musgroves for all their pleasures: they would come at any time, and help play at anything, or dance anywhere; and anne, very much preferring the office of musician to a more active post, played country dances to them by the hour together; a kindness which always recommended her musical powers to the notice of mr and mrs musgrove more than anything else, and often drew this compliment;--"well done, miss anne! very well done indeed! lord bless me! how those little fingers of yours fly about!" so passed the first three weeks. michaelmas came; and now anne's heart must be in kellynch again. a beloved home made over to others; all the precious rooms and furniture, groves, and prospects, beginning to own other eyes and other limbs! she could not think of much else on the 29th of september; and she had this sympathetic touch in the evening from mary, who, on having occasion to note down the day of the month, exclaimed, "dear me, is not this the day the crofts were to come to kellynch? i am glad i did not think of it before. how low it makes me!" the crofts took possession with true naval alertness, and were to be visited. mary deplored the necessity for herself. "nobody knew how much she should suffer. she should put it off as long as she could;" but was not easy till she had talked charles into driving her over on an early day, and was in a very animated, comfortable state of imaginary agitation, when she came back. anne had very sincerely rejoiced in there being no means of her going. she wished, however to see the crofts, and was glad to be within when the visit was returned. they came: the master of the house was not at home, but the two sisters were together; and as it chanced that mrs croft fell to the share of anne, while the admiral sat by mary, and made himself very agreeable by his good-humoured notice of her little boys, she was well able to watch for a likeness, and if it failed her in the features, to catch it in the voice, or in the turn of sentiment and expression. mrs croft, though neither tall nor fat, had a squareness, uprightness, and vigour of form, which gave importance to her person. she had bright dark eyes, good teeth, and altogether an agreeable face; though her reddened and weather-beaten complexion, the consequence of her having been almost as much at sea as her husband, made her seem to have lived some years longer in the world than her real eight-and-thirty. her manners were open, easy, and decided, like one who had no distrust of herself, and no doubts of what to do; without any approach to coarseness, however, or any want of good humour. anne gave her credit, indeed, for feelings of great consideration towards herself, in all that related to kellynch, and it pleased her: especially, as she had satisfied herself in the very first half minute, in the instant even of introduction, that there was not the smallest symptom of any knowledge or suspicion on mrs croft's side, to give a bias of any sort. she was quite easy on that head, and consequently full of strength and courage, till for a moment electrified by mrs croft's suddenly saying,-"it was you, and not your sister, i find, that my brother had the pleasure of being acquainted with, when he was in this country." anne hoped she had outlived the age of blushing; but the age of emotion she certainly had not. "perhaps you may not have heard that he is married?" added mrs croft. she could now answer as she ought; and was happy to feel, when mrs croft's next words explained it to be mr wentworth of whom she spoke, that she had said nothing which might not do for either brother. she immediately felt how reasonable it was, that mrs croft should be thinking and speaking of edward, and not of frederick; and with shame at her own forgetfulness applied herself to the knowledge of their former neighbour's present state with proper interest. the rest was all tranquillity; till, just as they were moving, she heard the admiral say to mary-"we are expecting a brother of mrs croft's here soon; i dare say you know him by name." he was cut short by the eager attacks of the little boys, clinging to him like an old friend, and declaring he should not go; and being too much engrossed by proposals of carrying them away in his coat pockets, &c., to have another moment for finishing or recollecting what he had begun, anne was left to persuade herself, as well as she could, that the same brother must still be in question. she could not, however, reach such a degree of certainty, as not to be anxious to hear whether anything had been said on the subject at the other house, where the crofts had previously been calling. the folks of the great house were to spend the evening of this day at the cottage; and it being now too late in the year for such visits to be made on foot, the coach was beginning to be listened for, when the youngest miss musgrove walked in. that she was coming to apologize, and that they should have to spend the evening by themselves, was the first black idea; and mary was quite ready to be affronted, when louisa made all right by saying, that she only came on foot, to leave more room for the harp, which was bringing in the carriage. "and i will tell you our reason," she added, "and all about it. i am come on to give you notice, that papa and mamma are out of spirits this evening, especially mamma; she is thinking so much of poor richard! and we agreed it would be best to have the harp, for it seems to amuse her more than the piano-forte. i will tell you why she is out of spirits. when the crofts called this morning, (they called here afterwards, did not they?), they happened to say, that her brother, captain wentworth, is just returned to england, or paid off, or something, and is coming to see them almost directly; and most unluckily it came into mamma's head, when they were gone, that wentworth, or something very like it, was the name of poor richard's captain at one time; i do not know when or where, but a great while before he died, poor fellow! and upon looking over his letters and things, she found it was so, and is perfectly sure that this must be the very man, and her head is quite full of it, and of poor richard! so we must be as merry as we can, that she may not be dwelling upon such gloomy things." the real circumstances of this pathetic piece of family history were, that the musgroves had had the ill fortune of a very troublesome, hopeless son; and the good fortune to lose him before he reached his twentieth year; that he had been sent to sea because he was stupid and unmanageable on shore; that he had been very little cared for at any time by his family, though quite as much as he deserved; seldom heard of, and scarcely at all regretted, when the intelligence of his death abroad had worked its way to uppercross, two years before. he had, in fact, though his sisters were now doing all they could for him, by calling him "poor richard," been nothing better than a thick-headed, unfeeling, unprofitable dick musgrove, who had never done anything to entitle himself to more than the abbreviation of his name, living or dead. he had been several years at sea, and had, in the course of those removals to which all midshipmen are liable, and especially such midshipmen as every captain wishes to get rid of, been six months on board captain frederick wentworth's frigate, the laconia; and from the laconia he had, under the influence of his captain, written the only two letters which his father and mother had ever received from him during the whole of his absence; that is to say, the only two disinterested letters; all the rest had been mere applications for money. in each letter he had spoken well of his captain; but yet, so little were they in the habit of attending to such matters, so unobservant and incurious were they as to the names of men or ships, that it had made scarcely any impression at the time; and that mrs musgrove should have been suddenly struck, this very day, with a recollection of the name of wentworth, as connected with her son, seemed one of those extraordinary bursts of mind which do sometimes occur. she had gone to her letters, and found it all as she supposed; and the re-perusal of these letters, after so long an interval, her poor son gone for ever, and all the strength of his faults forgotten, had affected her spirits exceedingly, and thrown her into greater grief for him than she had known on first hearing of his death. mr musgrove was, in a lesser degree, affected likewise; and when they reached the cottage, they were evidently in want, first, of being listened to anew on this subject, and afterwards, of all the relief which cheerful companions could give them. to hear them talking so much of captain wentworth, repeating his name so often, puzzling over past years, and at last ascertaining that it might, that it probably would, turn out to be the very same captain wentworth whom they recollected meeting, once or twice, after their coming back from clifton--a very fine young man--but they could not say whether it was seven or eight years ago, was a new sort of trial to anne's nerves. she found, however, that it was one to which she must inure herself. since he actually was expected in the country, she must teach herself to be insensible on such points. and not only did it appear that he was expected, and speedily, but the musgroves, in their warm gratitude for the kindness he had shewn poor dick, and very high respect for his character, stamped as it was by poor dick's having been six months under his care, and mentioning him in strong, though not perfectly well-spelt praise, as "a fine dashing felow, only two perticular about the schoolmaster," were bent on introducing themselves, and seeking his acquaintance, as soon as they could hear of his arrival. the resolution of doing so helped to form the comfort of their evening. chapter 7 a very few days more, and captain wentworth was known to be at kellynch, and mr musgrove had called on him, and come back warm in his praise, and he was engaged with the crofts to dine at uppercross, by the end of another week. it had been a great disappointment to mr musgrove to find that no earlier day could be fixed, so impatient was he to shew his gratitude, by seeing captain wentworth under his own roof, and welcoming him to all that was strongest and best in his cellars. but a week must pass; only a week, in anne's reckoning, and then, she supposed, they must meet; and soon she began to wish that she could feel secure even for a week. captain wentworth made a very early return to mr musgrove's civility, and she was all but calling there in the same half hour. she and mary were actually setting forward for the great house, where, as she afterwards learnt, they must inevitably have found him, when they were stopped by the eldest boy's being at that moment brought home in consequence of a bad fall. the child's situation put the visit entirely aside; but she could not hear of her escape with indifference, even in the midst of the serious anxiety which they afterwards felt on his account. his collar-bone was found to be dislocated, and such injury received in the back, as roused the most alarming ideas. it was an afternoon of distress, and anne had every thing to do at once; the apothecary to send for, the father to have pursued and informed, the mother to support and keep from hysterics, the servants to control, the youngest child to banish, and the poor suffering one to attend and soothe; besides sending, as soon as she recollected it, proper notice to the other house, which brought her an accession rather of frightened, enquiring companions, than of very useful assistants. her brother's return was the first comfort; he could take best care of his wife; and the second blessing was the arrival of the apothecary. till he came and had examined the child, their apprehensions were the worse for being vague; they suspected great injury, but knew not where; but now the collar-bone was soon replaced, and though mr robinson felt and felt, and rubbed, and looked grave, and spoke low words both to the father and the aunt, still they were all to hope the best, and to be able to part and eat their dinner in tolerable ease of mind; and then it was, just before they parted, that the two young aunts were able so far to digress from their nephew's state, as to give the information of captain wentworth's visit; staying five minutes behind their father and mother, to endeavour to express how perfectly delighted they were with him, how much handsomer, how infinitely more agreeable they thought him than any individual among their male acquaintance, who had been at all a favourite before. how glad they had been to hear papa invite him to stay dinner, how sorry when he said it was quite out of his power, and how glad again when he had promised in reply to papa and mamma's farther pressing invitations to come and dine with them on the morrow--actually on the morrow; and he had promised it in so pleasant a manner, as if he felt all the motive of their attention just as he ought. and in short, he had looked and said everything with such exquisite grace, that they could assure them all, their heads were both turned by him; and off they ran, quite as full of glee as of love, and apparently more full of captain wentworth than of little charles. the same story and the same raptures were repeated, when the two girls came with their father, through the gloom of the evening, to make enquiries; and mr musgrove, no longer under the first uneasiness about his heir, could add his confirmation and praise, and hope there would be now no occasion for putting captain wentworth off, and only be sorry to think that the cottage party, probably, would not like to leave the little boy, to give him the meeting. "oh no; as to leaving the little boy," both father and mother were in much too strong and recent alarm to bear the thought; and anne, in the joy of the escape, could not help adding her warm protestations to theirs. charles musgrove, indeed, afterwards, shewed more of inclination; "the child was going on so well, and he wished so much to be introduced to captain wentworth, that, perhaps, he might join them in the evening; he would not dine from home, but he might walk in for half an hour." but in this he was eagerly opposed by his wife, with "oh! no, indeed, charles, i cannot bear to have you go away. only think if anything should happen?" the child had a good night, and was going on well the next day. it must be a work of time to ascertain that no injury had been done to the spine; but mr robinson found nothing to increase alarm, and charles musgrove began, consequently, to feel no necessity for longer confinement. the child was to be kept in bed and amused as quietly as possible; but what was there for a father to do? this was quite a female case, and it would be highly absurd in him, who could be of no use at home, to shut himself up. his father very much wished him to meet captain wentworth, and there being no sufficient reason against it, he ought to go; and it ended in his making a bold, public declaration, when he came in from shooting, of his meaning to dress directly, and dine at the other house. "nothing can be going on better than the child," said he; "so i told my father, just now, that i would come, and he thought me quite right. your sister being with you, my love, i have no scruple at all. you would not like to leave him yourself, but you see i can be of no use. anne will send for me if anything is the matter." husbands and wives generally understand when opposition will be vain. mary knew, from charles's manner of speaking, that he was quite determined on going, and that it would be of no use to teaze him. she said nothing, therefore, till he was out of the room, but as soon as there was only anne to hear-"so you and i are to be left to shift by ourselves, with this poor sick child; and not a creature coming near us all the evening! i knew how it would be. this is always my luck. if there is anything disagreeable going on men are always sure to get out of it, and charles is as bad as any of them. very unfeeling! i must say it is very unfeeling of him to be running away from his poor little boy. talks of his being going on so well! how does he know that he is going on well, or that there may not be a sudden change half an hour hence? i did not think charles would have been so unfeeling. so here he is to go away and enjoy himself, and because i am the poor mother, i am not to be allowed to stir; and yet, i am sure, i am more unfit than anybody else to be about the child. my being the mother is the very reason why my feelings should not be tried. i am not at all equal to it. you saw how hysterical i was yesterday." "but that was only the effect of the suddenness of your alarm--of the shock. you will not be hysterical again. i dare say we shall have nothing to distress us. i perfectly understand mr robinson's directions, and have no fears; and indeed, mary, i cannot wonder at your husband. nursing does not belong to a man; it is not his province. a sick child is always the mother's property: her own feelings generally make it so." "i hope i am as fond of my child as any mother, but i do not know that i am of any more use in the sick-room than charles, for i cannot be always scolding and teazing the poor child when it is ill; and you saw, this morning, that if i told him to keep quiet, he was sure to begin kicking about. i have not nerves for the sort of thing." "but, could you be comfortable yourself, to be spending the whole evening away from the poor boy?" "yes; you see his papa can, and why should not i? jemima is so careful; and she could send us word every hour how he was. i really think charles might as well have told his father we would all come. i am not more alarmed about little charles now than he is. i was dreadfully alarmed yesterday, but the case is very different to-day." "well, if you do not think it too late to give notice for yourself, suppose you were to go, as well as your husband. leave little charles to my care. mr and mrs musgrove cannot think it wrong while i remain with him." "are you serious?" cried mary, her eyes brightening. "dear me! that's a very good thought, very good, indeed. to be sure, i may just as well go as not, for i am of no use at home--am i? and it only harasses me. you, who have not a mother's feelings, are a great deal the properest person. you can make little charles do anything; he always minds you at a word. it will be a great deal better than leaving him only with jemima. oh! i shall certainly go; i am sure i ought if i can, quite as much as charles, for they want me excessively to be acquainted with captain wentworth, and i know you do not mind being left alone. an excellent thought of yours, indeed, anne. i will go and tell charles, and get ready directly. you can send for us, you know, at a moment's notice, if anything is the matter; but i dare say there will be nothing to alarm you. i should not go, you may be sure, if i did not feel quite at ease about my dear child." the next moment she was tapping at her husband's dressing-room door, and as anne followed her up stairs, she was in time for the whole conversation, which began with mary's saying, in a tone of great exultation-"i mean to go with you, charles, for i am of no more use at home than you are. if i were to shut myself up for ever with the child, i should not be able to persuade him to do anything he did not like. anne will stay; anne undertakes to stay at home and take care of him. it is anne's own proposal, and so i shall go with you, which will be a great deal better, for i have not dined at the other house since tuesday." "this is very kind of anne," was her husband's answer, "and i should be very glad to have you go; but it seems rather hard that she should be left at home by herself, to nurse our sick child." anne was now at hand to take up her own cause, and the sincerity of her manner being soon sufficient to convince him, where conviction was at least very agreeable, he had no farther scruples as to her being left to dine alone, though he still wanted her to join them in the evening, when the child might be at rest for the night, and kindly urged her to let him come and fetch her, but she was quite unpersuadable; and this being the case, she had ere long the pleasure of seeing them set off together in high spirits. they were gone, she hoped, to be happy, however oddly constructed such happiness might seem; as for herself, she was left with as many sensations of comfort, as were, perhaps, ever likely to be hers. she knew herself to be of the first utility to the child; and what was it to her if frederick wentworth were only half a mile distant, making himself agreeable to others? she would have liked to know how he felt as to a meeting. perhaps indifferent, if indifference could exist under such circumstances. he must be either indifferent or unwilling. had he wished ever to see her again, he need not have waited till this time; he would have done what she could not but believe that in his place she should have done long ago, when events had been early giving him the independence which alone had been wanting. her brother and sister came back delighted with their new acquaintance, and their visit in general. there had been music, singing, talking, laughing, all that was most agreeable; charming manners in captain wentworth, no shyness or reserve; they seemed all to know each other perfectly, and he was coming the very next morning to shoot with charles. he was to come to breakfast, but not at the cottage, though that had been proposed at first; but then he had been pressed to come to the great house instead, and he seemed afraid of being in mrs charles musgrove's way, on account of the child, and therefore, somehow, they hardly knew how, it ended in charles's being to meet him to breakfast at his father's. anne understood it. he wished to avoid seeing her. he had inquired after her, she found, slightly, as might suit a former slight acquaintance, seeming to acknowledge such as she had acknowledged, actuated, perhaps, by the same view of escaping introduction when they were to meet. the morning hours of the cottage were always later than those of the other house, and on the morrow the difference was so great that mary and anne were not more than beginning breakfast when charles came in to say that they were just setting off, that he was come for his dogs, that his sisters were following with captain wentworth; his sisters meaning to visit mary and the child, and captain wentworth proposing also to wait on her for a few minutes if not inconvenient; and though charles had answered for the child's being in no such state as could make it inconvenient, captain wentworth would not be satisfied without his running on to give notice. mary, very much gratified by this attention, was delighted to receive him, while a thousand feelings rushed on anne, of which this was the most consoling, that it would soon be over. and it was soon over. in two minutes after charles's preparation, the others appeared; they were in the drawing-room. her eye half met captain wentworth's, a bow, a curtsey passed; she heard his voice; he talked to mary, said all that was right, said something to the miss musgroves, enough to mark an easy footing; the room seemed full, full of persons and voices, but a few minutes ended it. charles shewed himself at the window, all was ready, their visitor had bowed and was gone, the miss musgroves were gone too, suddenly resolving to walk to the end of the village with the sportsmen: the room was cleared, and anne might finish her breakfast as she could. "it is over! it is over!" she repeated to herself again and again, in nervous gratitude. "the worst is over!" mary talked, but she could not attend. she had seen him. they had met. they had been once more in the same room. soon, however, she began to reason with herself, and try to be feeling less. eight years, almost eight years had passed, since all had been given up. how absurd to be resuming the agitation which such an interval had banished into distance and indistinctness! what might not eight years do? events of every description, changes, alienations, removals--all, all must be comprised in it, and oblivion of the past-how natural, how certain too! it included nearly a third part of her own life. alas! with all her reasoning, she found, that to retentive feelings eight years may be little more than nothing. now, how were his sentiments to be read? was this like wishing to avoid her? and the next moment she was hating herself for the folly which asked the question. on one other question which perhaps her utmost wisdom might not have prevented, she was soon spared all suspense; for, after the miss musgroves had returned and finished their visit at the cottage she had this spontaneous information from mary:-"captain wentworth is not very gallant by you, anne, though he was so attentive to me. henrietta asked him what he thought of you, when they went away, and he said, 'you were so altered he should not have known you again.'" mary had no feelings to make her respect her sister's in a common way, but she was perfectly unsuspicious of being inflicting any peculiar wound. "altered beyond his knowledge." anne fully submitted, in silent, deep mortification. doubtless it was so, and she could take no revenge, for he was not altered, or not for the worse. she had already acknowledged it to herself, and she could not think differently, let him think of her as he would. no: the years which had destroyed her youth and bloom had only given him a more glowing, manly, open look, in no respect lessening his personal advantages. she had seen the same frederick wentworth. "so altered that he should not have known her again!" these were words which could not but dwell with her. yet she soon began to rejoice that she had heard them. they were of sobering tendency; they allayed agitation; they composed, and consequently must make her happier. frederick wentworth had used such words, or something like them, but without an idea that they would be carried round to her. he had thought her wretchedly altered, and in the first moment of appeal, had spoken as he felt. he had not forgiven anne elliot. she had used him ill, deserted and disappointed him; and worse, she had shewn a feebleness of character in doing so, which his own decided, confident temper could not endure. she had given him up to oblige others. it had been the effect of over-persuasion. it had been weakness and timidity. he had been most warmly attached to her, and had never seen a woman since whom he thought her equal; but, except from some natural sensation of curiosity, he had no desire of meeting her again. her power with him was gone for ever. it was now his object to marry. he was rich, and being turned on shore, fully intended to settle as soon as he could be properly tempted; actually looking round, ready to fall in love with all the speed which a clear head and a quick taste could allow. he had a heart for either of the miss musgroves, if they could catch it; a heart, in short, for any pleasing young woman who came in his way, excepting anne elliot. this was his only secret exception, when he said to his sister, in answer to her suppositions:-"yes, here i am, sophia, quite ready to make a foolish match. anybody between fifteen and thirty may have me for asking. a little beauty, and a few smiles, and a few compliments to the navy, and i am a lost man. should not this be enough for a sailor, who has had no society among women to make him nice?" he said it, she knew, to be contradicted. his bright proud eye spoke the conviction that he was nice; and anne elliot was not out of his thoughts, when he more seriously described the woman he should wish to meet with. "a strong mind, with sweetness of manner," made the first and the last of the description. "that is the woman i want," said he. "something a little inferior i shall of course put up with, but it must not be much. if i am a fool, i shall be a fool indeed, for i have thought on the subject more than most men." chapter 8 from this time captain wentworth and anne elliot were repeatedly in the same circle. they were soon dining in company together at mr musgrove's, for the little boy's state could no longer supply his aunt with a pretence for absenting herself; and this was but the beginning of other dinings and other meetings. whether former feelings were to be renewed must be brought to the proof; former times must undoubtedly be brought to the recollection of each; they could not but be reverted to; the year of their engagement could not but be named by him, in the little narratives or descriptions which conversation called forth. his profession qualified him, his disposition lead him, to talk; and "that was in the year six;" "that happened before i went to sea in the year six," occurred in the course of the first evening they spent together: and though his voice did not falter, and though she had no reason to suppose his eye wandering towards her while he spoke, anne felt the utter impossibility, from her knowledge of his mind, that he could be unvisited by remembrance any more than herself. there must be the same immediate association of thought, though she was very far from conceiving it to be of equal pain. they had no conversation together, no intercourse but what the commonest civility required. once so much to each other! now nothing! there had been a time, when of all the large party now filling the drawing-room at uppercross, they would have found it most difficult to cease to speak to one another. with the exception, perhaps, of admiral and mrs croft, who seemed particularly attached and happy, (anne could allow no other exceptions even among the married couples), there could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved. now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted. it was a perpetual estrangement. when he talked, she heard the same voice, and discerned the same mind. there was a very general ignorance of all naval matters throughout the party; and he was very much questioned, and especially by the two miss musgroves, who seemed hardly to have any eyes but for him, as to the manner of living on board, daily regulations, food, hours, &c., and their surprise at his accounts, at learning the degree of accommodation and arrangement which was practicable, drew from him some pleasant ridicule, which reminded anne of the early days when she too had been ignorant, and she too had been accused of supposing sailors to be living on board without anything to eat, or any cook to dress it if there were, or any servant to wait, or any knife and fork to use. from thus listening and thinking, she was roused by a whisper of mrs musgrove's who, overcome by fond regrets, could not help saying-"ah! miss anne, if it had pleased heaven to spare my poor son, i dare say he would have been just such another by this time." anne suppressed a smile, and listened kindly, while mrs musgrove relieved her heart a little more; and for a few minutes, therefore, could not keep pace with the conversation of the others. when she could let her attention take its natural course again, she found the miss musgroves just fetching the navy list (their own navy list, the first that had ever been at uppercross), and sitting down together to pore over it, with the professed view of finding out the ships that captain wentworth had commanded. "your first was the asp, i remember; we will look for the asp." "you will not find her there. quite worn out and broken up. i was the last man who commanded her. hardly fit for service then. reported fit for home service for a year or two, and so i was sent off to the west indies." the girls looked all amazement. "the admiralty," he continued, "entertain themselves now and then, with sending a few hundred men to sea, in a ship not fit to be employed. but they have a great many to provide for; and among the thousands that may just as well go to the bottom as not, it is impossible for them to distinguish the very set who may be least missed." "phoo! phoo!" cried the admiral, "what stuff these young fellows talk! never was a better sloop than the asp in her day. for an old built sloop, you would not see her equal. lucky fellow to get her! he knows there must have been twenty better men than himself applying for her at the same time. lucky fellow to get anything so soon, with no more interest than his." "i felt my luck, admiral, i assure you;" replied captain wentworth, seriously. "i was as well satisfied with my appointment as you can desire. it was a great object with me at that time to be at sea; a very great object, i wanted to be doing something." "to be sure you did. what should a young fellow like you do ashore for half a year together? if a man had not a wife, he soon wants to be afloat again." "but, captain wentworth," cried louisa, "how vexed you must have been when you came to the asp, to see what an old thing they had given you." "i knew pretty well what she was before that day;" said he, smiling. "i had no more discoveries to make than you would have as to the fashion and strength of any old pelisse, which you had seen lent about among half your acquaintance ever since you could remember, and which at last, on some very wet day, is lent to yourself. ah! she was a dear old asp to me. she did all that i wanted. i knew she would. i knew that we should either go to the bottom together, or that she would be the making of me; and i never had two days of foul weather all the time i was at sea in her; and after taking privateers enough to be very entertaining, i had the good luck in my passage home the next autumn, to fall in with the very french frigate i wanted. i brought her into plymouth; and here another instance of luck. we had not been six hours in the sound, when a gale came on, which lasted four days and nights, and which would have done for poor old asp in half the time; our touch with the great nation not having much improved our condition. four-and-twenty hours later, and i should only have been a gallant captain wentworth, in a small paragraph at one corner of the newspapers; and being lost in only a sloop, nobody would have thought about me." anne's shudderings were to herself alone; but the miss musgroves could be as open as they were sincere, in their exclamations of pity and horror. "and so then, i suppose," said mrs musgrove, in a low voice, as if thinking aloud, "so then he went away to the laconia, and there he met with our poor boy. charles, my dear," (beckoning him to her), "do ask captain wentworth where it was he first met with your poor brother. i always forgot." "it was at gibraltar, mother, i know. dick had been left ill at gibraltar, with a recommendation from his former captain to captain wentworth." "oh! but, charles, tell captain wentworth, he need not be afraid of mentioning poor dick before me, for it would be rather a pleasure to hear him talked of by such a good friend." charles, being somewhat more mindful of the probabilities of the case, only nodded in reply, and walked away. the girls were now hunting for the laconia; and captain wentworth could not deny himself the pleasure of taking the precious volume into his own hands to save them the trouble, and once more read aloud the little statement of her name and rate, and present non-commissioned class, observing over it that she too had been one of the best friends man ever had. "ah! those were pleasant days when i had the laconia! how fast i made money in her. a friend of mine and i had such a lovely cruise together off the western islands. poor harville, sister! you know how much he wanted money: worse than myself. he had a wife. excellent fellow. i shall never forget his happiness. he felt it all, so much for her sake. i wished for him again the next summer, when i had still the same luck in the mediterranean." "and i am sure, sir," said mrs musgrove, "it was a lucky day for us, when you were put captain into that ship. we shall never forget what you did." her feelings made her speak low; and captain wentworth, hearing only in part, and probably not having dick musgrove at all near his thoughts, looked rather in suspense, and as if waiting for more. "my brother," whispered one of the girls; "mamma is thinking of poor richard." "poor dear fellow!" continued mrs musgrove; "he was grown so steady, and such an excellent correspondent, while he was under your care! ah! it would have been a happy thing, if he had never left you. i assure you, captain wentworth, we are very sorry he ever left you." there was a momentary expression in captain wentworth's face at this speech, a certain glance of his bright eye, and curl of his handsome mouth, which convinced anne, that instead of sharing in mrs musgrove's kind wishes, as to her son, he had probably been at some pains to get rid of him; but it was too transient an indulgence of self-amusement to be detected by any who understood him less than herself; in another moment he was perfectly collected and serious, and almost instantly afterwards coming up to the sofa, on which she and mrs musgrove were sitting, took a place by the latter, and entered into conversation with her, in a low voice, about her son, doing it with so much sympathy and natural grace, as shewed the kindest consideration for all that was real and unabsurd in the parent's feelings. they were actually on the same sofa, for mrs musgrove had most readily made room for him; they were divided only by mrs musgrove. it was no insignificant barrier, indeed. mrs musgrove was of a comfortable, substantial size, infinitely more fitted by nature to express good cheer and good humour, than tenderness and sentiment; and while the agitations of anne's slender form, and pensive face, may be considered as very completely screened, captain wentworth should be allowed some credit for the self-command with which he attended to her large fat sighings over the destiny of a son, whom alive nobody had cared for. personal size and mental sorrow have certainly no necessary proportions. a large bulky figure has as good a right to be in deep affliction, as the most graceful set of limbs in the world. but, fair or not fair, there are unbecoming conjunctions, which reason will patronize in vain--which taste cannot tolerate--which ridicule will seize. the admiral, after taking two or three refreshing turns about the room with his hands behind him, being called to order by his wife, now came up to captain wentworth, and without any observation of what he might be interrupting, thinking only of his own thoughts, began with-"if you had been a week later at lisbon, last spring, frederick, you would have been asked to give a passage to lady mary grierson and her daughters." "should i? i am glad i was not a week later then." the admiral abused him for his want of gallantry. he defended himself; though professing that he would never willingly admit any ladies on board a ship of his, excepting for a ball, or a visit, which a few hours might comprehend. "but, if i know myself," said he, "this is from no want of gallantry towards them. it is rather from feeling how impossible it is, with all one's efforts, and all one's sacrifices, to make the accommodations on board such as women ought to have. there can be no want of gallantry, admiral, in rating the claims of women to every personal comfort high, and this is what i do. i hate to hear of women on board, or to see them on board; and no ship under my command shall ever convey a family of ladies anywhere, if i can help it." this brought his sister upon him. "oh! frederick! but i cannot believe it of you.--all idle refinement!--women may be as comfortable on board, as in the best house in england. i believe i have lived as much on board as most women, and i know nothing superior to the accommodations of a man-of-war. i declare i have not a comfort or an indulgence about me, even at kellynch hall," (with a kind bow to anne), "beyond what i always had in most of the ships i have lived in; and they have been five altogether." "nothing to the purpose," replied her brother. "you were living with your husband, and were the only woman on board." "but you, yourself, brought mrs harville, her sister, her cousin, and three children, round from portsmouth to plymouth. where was this superfine, extraordinary sort of gallantry of yours then?" "all merged in my friendship, sophia. i would assist any brother officer's wife that i could, and i would bring anything of harville's from the world's end, if he wanted it. but do not imagine that i did not feel it an evil in itself." "depend upon it, they were all perfectly comfortable." "i might not like them the better for that perhaps. such a number of women and children have no right to be comfortable on board." "my dear frederick, you are talking quite idly. pray, what would become of us poor sailors' wives, who often want to be conveyed to one port or another, after our husbands, if everybody had your feelings?" "my feelings, you see, did not prevent my taking mrs harville and all her family to plymouth." "but i hate to hear you talking so like a fine gentleman, and as if women were all fine ladies, instead of rational creatures. we none of us expect to be in smooth water all our days." "ah! my dear," said the admiral, "when he had got a wife, he will sing a different tune. when he is married, if we have the good luck to live to another war, we shall see him do as you and i, and a great many others, have done. we shall have him very thankful to anybody that will bring him his wife." "ay, that we shall." "now i have done," cried captain wentworth. "when once married people begin to attack me with,--'oh! you will think very differently, when you are married.' i can only say, 'no, i shall not;' and then they say again, 'yes, you will,' and there is an end of it." he got up and moved away. "what a great traveller you must have been, ma'am!" said mrs musgrove to mrs croft. "pretty well, ma'am in the fifteen years of my marriage; though many women have done more. i have crossed the atlantic four times, and have been once to the east indies, and back again, and only once; besides being in different places about home: cork, and lisbon, and gibraltar. but i never went beyond the streights, and never was in the west indies. we do not call bermuda or bahama, you know, the west indies." mrs musgrove had not a word to say in dissent; she could not accuse herself of having ever called them anything in the whole course of her life. "and i do assure you, ma'am," pursued mrs croft, "that nothing can exceed the accommodations of a man-of-war; i speak, you know, of the higher rates. when you come to a frigate, of course, you are more confined; though any reasonable woman may be perfectly happy in one of them; and i can safely say, that the happiest part of my life has been spent on board a ship. while we were together, you know, there was nothing to be feared. thank god! i have always been blessed with excellent health, and no climate disagrees with me. a little disordered always the first twenty-four hours of going to sea, but never knew what sickness was afterwards. the only time i ever really suffered in body or mind, the only time that i ever fancied myself unwell, or had any ideas of danger, was the winter that i passed by myself at deal, when the admiral (captain croft then) was in the north seas. i lived in perpetual fright at that time, and had all manner of imaginary complaints from not knowing what to do with myself, or when i should hear from him next; but as long as we could be together, nothing ever ailed me, and i never met with the smallest inconvenience." "aye, to be sure. yes, indeed, oh yes! i am quite of your opinion, mrs croft," was mrs musgrove's hearty answer. "there is nothing so bad as a separation. i am quite of your opinion. i know what it is, for mr musgrove always attends the assizes, and i am so glad when they are over, and he is safe back again." the evening ended with dancing. on its being proposed, anne offered her services, as usual; and though her eyes would sometimes fill with tears as she sat at the instrument, she was extremely glad to be employed, and desired nothing in return but to be unobserved. it was a merry, joyous party, and no one seemed in higher spirits than captain wentworth. she felt that he had every thing to elevate him which general attention and deference, and especially the attention of all the young women, could do. the miss hayters, the females of the family of cousins already mentioned, were apparently admitted to the honour of being in love with him; and as for henrietta and louisa, they both seemed so entirely occupied by him, that nothing but the continued appearance of the most perfect good-will between themselves could have made it credible that they were not decided rivals. if he were a little spoilt by such universal, such eager admiration, who could wonder? these were some of the thoughts which occupied anne, while her fingers were mechanically at work, proceeding for half an hour together, equally without error, and without consciousness. once she felt that he was looking at herself, observing her altered features, perhaps, trying to trace in them the ruins of the face which had once charmed him; and once she knew that he must have spoken of her; she was hardly aware of it, till she heard the answer; but then she was sure of his having asked his partner whether miss elliot never danced? the answer was, "oh, no; never; she has quite given up dancing. she had rather play. she is never tired of playing." once, too, he spoke to her. she had left the instrument on the dancing being over, and he had sat down to try to make out an air which he wished to give the miss musgroves an idea of. unintentionally she returned to that part of the room; he saw her, and, instantly rising, said, with studied politeness-"i beg your pardon, madam, this is your seat;" and though she immediately drew back with a decided negative, he was not to be induced to sit down again. anne did not wish for more of such looks and speeches. his cold politeness, his ceremonious grace, were worse than anything. chapter 9 captain wentworth was come to kellynch as to a home, to stay as long as he liked, being as thoroughly the object of the admiral's fraternal kindness as of his wife's. he had intended, on first arriving, to proceed very soon into shropshire, and visit the brother settled in that country, but the attractions of uppercross induced him to put this off. there was so much of friendliness, and of flattery, and of everything most bewitching in his reception there; the old were so hospitable, the young so agreeable, that he could not but resolve to remain where he was, and take all the charms and perfections of edward's wife upon credit a little longer. it was soon uppercross with him almost every day. the musgroves could hardly be more ready to invite than he to come, particularly in the morning, when he had no companion at home, for the admiral and mrs croft were generally out of doors together, interesting themselves in their new possessions, their grass, and their sheep, and dawdling about in a way not endurable to a third person, or driving out in a gig, lately added to their establishment. hitherto there had been but one opinion of captain wentworth among the musgroves and their dependencies. it was unvarying, warm admiration everywhere; but this intimate footing was not more than established, when a certain charles hayter returned among them, to be a good deal disturbed by it, and to think captain wentworth very much in the way. charles hayter was the eldest of all the cousins, and a very amiable, pleasing young man, between whom and henrietta there had been a considerable appearance of attachment previous to captain wentworth's introduction. he was in orders; and having a curacy in the neighbourhood, where residence was not required, lived at his father's house, only two miles from uppercross. a short absence from home had left his fair one unguarded by his attentions at this critical period, and when he came back he had the pain of finding very altered manners, and of seeing captain wentworth. mrs musgrove and mrs hayter were sisters. they had each had money, but their marriages had made a material difference in their degree of consequence. mr hayter had some property of his own, but it was insignificant compared with mr musgrove's; and while the musgroves were in the first class of society in the country, the young hayters would, from their parents' inferior, retired, and unpolished way of living, and their own defective education, have been hardly in any class at all, but for their connexion with uppercross, this eldest son of course excepted, who had chosen to be a scholar and a gentleman, and who was very superior in cultivation and manners to all the rest. the two families had always been on excellent terms, there being no pride on one side, and no envy on the other, and only such a consciousness of superiority in the miss musgroves, as made them pleased to improve their cousins. charles's attentions to henrietta had been observed by her father and mother without any disapprobation. "it would not be a great match for her; but if henrietta liked him,"-and henrietta did seem to like him. henrietta fully thought so herself, before captain wentworth came; but from that time cousin charles had been very much forgotten. which of the two sisters was preferred by captain wentworth was as yet quite doubtful, as far as anne's observation reached. henrietta was perhaps the prettiest, louisa had the higher spirits; and she knew not now, whether the more gentle or the more lively character were most likely to attract him. mr and mrs musgrove, either from seeing little, or from an entire confidence in the discretion of both their daughters, and of all the young men who came near them, seemed to leave everything to take its chance. there was not the smallest appearance of solicitude or remark about them in the mansion-house; but it was different at the cottage: the young couple there were more disposed to speculate and wonder; and captain wentworth had not been above four or five times in the miss musgroves' company, and charles hayter had but just reappeared, when anne had to listen to the opinions of her brother and sister, as to which was the one liked best. charles gave it for louisa, mary for henrietta, but quite agreeing that to have him marry either could be extremely delightful. charles "had never seen a pleasanter man in his life; and from what he had once heard captain wentworth himself say, was very sure that he had not made less than twenty thousand pounds by the war. here was a fortune at once; besides which, there would be the chance of what might be done in any future war; and he was sure captain wentworth was as likely a man to distinguish himself as any officer in the navy. oh! it would be a capital match for either of his sisters." "upon my word it would," replied mary. "dear me! if he should rise to any very great honours! if he should ever be made a baronet! 'lady wentworth' sounds very well. that would be a noble thing, indeed, for henrietta! she would take place of me then, and henrietta would not dislike that. sir frederick and lady wentworth! it would be but a new creation, however, and i never think much of your new creations." it suited mary best to think henrietta the one preferred on the very account of charles hayter, whose pretensions she wished to see put an end to. she looked down very decidedly upon the hayters, and thought it would be quite a misfortune to have the existing connection between the families renewed--very sad for herself and her children. "you know," said she, "i cannot think him at all a fit match for henrietta; and considering the alliances which the musgroves have made, she has no right to throw herself away. i do not think any young woman has a right to make a choice that may be disagreeable and inconvenient to the principal part of her family, and be giving bad connections to those who have not been used to them. and, pray, who is charles hayter? nothing but a country curate. a most improper match for miss musgrove of uppercross." her husband, however, would not agree with her here; for besides having a regard for his cousin, charles hayter was an eldest son, and he saw things as an eldest son himself. "now you are talking nonsense, mary," was therefore his answer. "it would not be a great match for henrietta, but charles has a very fair chance, through the spicers, of getting something from the bishop in the course of a year or two; and you will please to remember, that he is the eldest son; whenever my uncle dies, he steps into very pretty property. the estate at winthrop is not less than two hundred and fifty acres, besides the farm near taunton, which is some of the best land in the country. i grant you, that any of them but charles would be a very shocking match for henrietta, and indeed it could not be; he is the only one that could be possible; but he is a very good-natured, good sort of a fellow; and whenever winthrop comes into his hands, he will make a different sort of place of it, and live in a very different sort of way; and with that property, he will never be a contemptible man--good, freehold property. no, no; henrietta might do worse than marry charles hayter; and if she has him, and louisa can get captain wentworth, i shall be very well satisfied." "charles may say what he pleases," cried mary to anne, as soon as he was out of the room, "but it would be shocking to have henrietta marry charles hayter; a very bad thing for her, and still worse for me; and therefore it is very much to be wished that captain wentworth may soon put him quite out of her head, and i have very little doubt that he has. she took hardly any notice of charles hayter yesterday. i wish you had been there to see her behaviour. and as to captain wentworth's liking louisa as well as henrietta, it is nonsense to say so; for he certainly does like henrietta a great deal the best. but charles is so positive! i wish you had been with us yesterday, for then you might have decided between us; and i am sure you would have thought as i did, unless you had been determined to give it against me." a dinner at mr musgrove's had been the occasion when all these things should have been seen by anne; but she had staid at home, under the mixed plea of a headache of her own, and some return of indisposition in little charles. she had thought only of avoiding captain wentworth; but an escape from being appealed to as umpire was now added to the advantages of a quiet evening. as to captain wentworth's views, she deemed it of more consequence that he should know his own mind early enough not to be endangering the happiness of either sister, or impeaching his own honour, than that he should prefer henrietta to louisa, or louisa to henrietta. either of them would, in all probability, make him an affectionate, good-humoured wife. with regard to charles hayter, she had delicacy which must be pained by any lightness of conduct in a well-meaning young woman, and a heart to sympathize in any of the sufferings it occasioned; but if henrietta found herself mistaken in the nature of her feelings, the alteration could not be understood too soon. charles hayter had met with much to disquiet and mortify him in his cousin's behaviour. she had too old a regard for him to be so wholly estranged as might in two meetings extinguish every past hope, and leave him nothing to do but to keep away from uppercross: but there was such a change as became very alarming, when such a man as captain wentworth was to be regarded as the probable cause. he had been absent only two sundays, and when they parted, had left her interested, even to the height of his wishes, in his prospect of soon quitting his present curacy, and obtaining that of uppercross instead. it had then seemed the object nearest her heart, that dr shirley, the rector, who for more than forty years had been zealously discharging all the duties of his office, but was now growing too infirm for many of them, should be quite fixed on engaging a curate; should make his curacy quite as good as he could afford, and should give charles hayter the promise of it. the advantage of his having to come only to uppercross, instead of going six miles another way; of his having, in every respect, a better curacy; of his belonging to their dear dr shirley, and of dear, good dr shirley's being relieved from the duty which he could no longer get through without most injurious fatigue, had been a great deal, even to louisa, but had been almost everything to henrietta. when he came back, alas! the zeal of the business was gone by. louisa could not listen at all to his account of a conversation which he had just held with dr shirley: she was at a window, looking out for captain wentworth; and even henrietta had at best only a divided attention to give, and seemed to have forgotten all the former doubt and solicitude of the negotiation. "well, i am very glad indeed: but i always thought you would have it; i always thought you sure. it did not appear to me that--in short, you know, dr shirley must have a curate, and you had secured his promise. is he coming, louisa?" one morning, very soon after the dinner at the musgroves, at which anne had not been present, captain wentworth walked into the drawing-room at the cottage, where were only herself and the little invalid charles, who was lying on the sofa. the surprise of finding himself almost alone with anne elliot, deprived his manners of their usual composure: he started, and could only say, "i thought the miss musgroves had been here: mrs musgrove told me i should find them here," before he walked to the window to recollect himself, and feel how he ought to behave. "they are up stairs with my sister: they will be down in a few moments, i dare say," had been anne's reply, in all the confusion that was natural; and if the child had not called her to come and do something for him, she would have been out of the room the next moment, and released captain wentworth as well as herself. he continued at the window; and after calmly and politely saying, "i hope the little boy is better," was silent. she was obliged to kneel down by the sofa, and remain there to satisfy her patient; and thus they continued a few minutes, when, to her very great satisfaction, she heard some other person crossing the little vestibule. she hoped, on turning her head, to see the master of the house; but it proved to be one much less calculated for making matters easy--charles hayter, probably not at all better pleased by the sight of captain wentworth than captain wentworth had been by the sight of anne. she only attempted to say, "how do you do? will you not sit down? the others will be here presently." captain wentworth, however, came from his window, apparently not ill-disposed for conversation; but charles hayter soon put an end to his attempts by seating himself near the table, and taking up the newspaper; and captain wentworth returned to his window. another minute brought another addition. the younger boy, a remarkable stout, forward child, of two years old, having got the door opened for him by some one without, made his determined appearance among them, and went straight to the sofa to see what was going on, and put in his claim to anything good that might be giving away. there being nothing to eat, he could only have some play; and as his aunt would not let him tease his sick brother, he began to fasten himself upon her, as she knelt, in such a way that, busy as she was about charles, she could not shake him off. she spoke to him, ordered, entreated, and insisted in vain. once she did contrive to push him away, but the boy had the greater pleasure in getting upon her back again directly. "walter," said she, "get down this moment. you are extremely troublesome. i am very angry with you." "walter," cried charles hayter, "why do you not do as you are bid? do not you hear your aunt speak? come to me, walter, come to cousin charles." but not a bit did walter stir. in another moment, however, she found herself in the state of being released from him; some one was taking him from her, though he had bent down her head so much, that his little sturdy hands were unfastened from around her neck, and he was resolutely borne away, before she knew that captain wentworth had done it. her sensations on the discovery made her perfectly speechless. she could not even thank him. she could only hang over little charles, with most disordered feelings. his kindness in stepping forward to her relief, the manner, the silence in which it had passed, the little particulars of the circumstance, with the conviction soon forced on her by the noise he was studiously making with the child, that he meant to avoid hearing her thanks, and rather sought to testify that her conversation was the last of his wants, produced such a confusion of varying, but very painful agitation, as she could not recover from, till enabled by the entrance of mary and the miss musgroves to make over her little patient to their cares, and leave the room. she could not stay. it might have been an opportunity of watching the loves and jealousies of the four--they were now altogether; but she could stay for none of it. it was evident that charles hayter was not well inclined towards captain wentworth. she had a strong impression of his having said, in a vext tone of voice, after captain wentworth's interference, "you ought to have minded me, walter; i told you not to teaze your aunt;" and could comprehend his regretting that captain wentworth should do what he ought to have done himself. but neither charles hayter's feelings, nor anybody's feelings, could interest her, till she had a little better arranged her own. she was ashamed of herself, quite ashamed of being so nervous, so overcome by such a trifle; but so it was, and it required a long application of solitude and reflection to recover her. chapter 10 other opportunities of making her observations could not fail to occur. anne had soon been in company with all the four together often enough to have an opinion, though too wise to acknowledge as much at home, where she knew it would have satisfied neither husband nor wife; for while she considered louisa to be rather the favourite, she could not but think, as far as she might dare to judge from memory and experience, that captain wentworth was not in love with either. they were more in love with him; yet there it was not love. it was a little fever of admiration; but it might, probably must, end in love with some. charles hayter seemed aware of being slighted, and yet henrietta had sometimes the air of being divided between them. anne longed for the power of representing to them all what they were about, and of pointing out some of the evils they were exposing themselves to. she did not attribute guile to any. it was the highest satisfaction to her to believe captain wentworth not in the least aware of the pain he was occasioning. there was no triumph, no pitiful triumph in his manner. he had, probably, never heard, and never thought of any claims of charles hayter. he was only wrong in accepting the attentions (for accepting must be the word) of two young women at once. after a short struggle, however, charles hayter seemed to quit the field. three days had passed without his coming once to uppercross; a most decided change. he had even refused one regular invitation to dinner; and having been found on the occasion by mr musgrove with some large books before him, mr and mrs musgrove were sure all could not be right, and talked, with grave faces, of his studying himself to death. it was mary's hope and belief that he had received a positive dismissal from henrietta, and her husband lived under the constant dependence of seeing him to-morrow. anne could only feel that charles hayter was wise. one morning, about this time charles musgrove and captain wentworth being gone a-shooting together, as the sisters in the cottage were sitting quietly at work, they were visited at the window by the sisters from the mansion-house. it was a very fine november day, and the miss musgroves came through the little grounds, and stopped for no other purpose than to say, that they were going to take a long walk, and therefore concluded mary could not like to go with them; and when mary immediately replied, with some jealousy at not being supposed a good walker, "oh, yes, i should like to join you very much, i am very fond of a long walk;" anne felt persuaded, by the looks of the two girls, that it was precisely what they did not wish, and admired again the sort of necessity which the family habits seemed to produce, of everything being to be communicated, and everything being to be done together, however undesired and inconvenient. she tried to dissuade mary from going, but in vain; and that being the case, thought it best to accept the miss musgroves' much more cordial invitation to herself to go likewise, as she might be useful in turning back with her sister, and lessening the interference in any plan of their own. "i cannot imagine why they should suppose i should not like a long walk," said mary, as she went up stairs. "everybody is always supposing that i am not a good walker; and yet they would not have been pleased, if we had refused to join them. when people come in this manner on purpose to ask us, how can one say no?" just as they were setting off, the gentlemen returned. they had taken out a young dog, who had spoilt their sport, and sent them back early. their time and strength, and spirits, were, therefore, exactly ready for this walk, and they entered into it with pleasure. could anne have foreseen such a junction, she would have staid at home; but, from some feelings of interest and curiosity, she fancied now that it was too late to retract, and the whole six set forward together in the direction chosen by the miss musgroves, who evidently considered the walk as under their guidance. anne's object was, not to be in the way of anybody; and where the narrow paths across the fields made many separations necessary, to keep with her brother and sister. her pleasure in the walk must arise from the exercise and the day, from the view of the last smiles of the year upon the tawny leaves, and withered hedges, and from repeating to herself some few of the thousand poetical descriptions extant of autumn, that season of peculiar and inexhaustible influence on the mind of taste and tenderness, that season which had drawn from every poet, worthy of being read, some attempt at description, or some lines of feeling. she occupied her mind as much as possible in such like musings and quotations; but it was not possible, that when within reach of captain wentworth's conversation with either of the miss musgroves, she should not try to hear it; yet she caught little very remarkable. it was mere lively chat, such as any young persons, on an intimate footing, might fall into. he was more engaged with louisa than with henrietta. louisa certainly put more forward for his notice than her sister. this distinction appeared to increase, and there was one speech of louisa's which struck her. after one of the many praises of the day, which were continually bursting forth, captain wentworth added:-"what glorious weather for the admiral and my sister! they meant to take a long drive this morning; perhaps we may hail them from some of these hills. they talked of coming into this side of the country. i wonder whereabouts they will upset to-day. oh! it does happen very often, i assure you; but my sister makes nothing of it; she would as lieve be tossed out as not." "ah! you make the most of it, i know," cried louisa, "but if it were really so, i should do just the same in her place. if i loved a man, as she loves the admiral, i would always be with him, nothing should ever separate us, and i would rather be overturned by him, than driven safely by anybody else." it was spoken with enthusiasm. "had you?" cried he, catching the same tone; "i honour you!" and there was silence between them for a little while. anne could not immediately fall into a quotation again. the sweet scenes of autumn were for a while put by, unless some tender sonnet, fraught with the apt analogy of the declining year, with declining happiness, and the images of youth and hope, and spring, all gone together, blessed her memory. she roused herself to say, as they struck by order into another path, "is not this one of the ways to winthrop?" but nobody heard, or, at least, nobody answered her. winthrop, however, or its environs--for young men are, sometimes to be met with, strolling about near home--was their destination; and after another half mile of gradual ascent through large enclosures, where the ploughs at work, and the fresh made path spoke the farmer counteracting the sweets of poetical despondence, and meaning to have spring again, they gained the summit of the most considerable hill, which parted uppercross and winthrop, and soon commanded a full view of the latter, at the foot of the hill on the other side. winthrop, without beauty and without dignity, was stretched before them; an indifferent house, standing low, and hemmed in by the barns and buildings of a farm-yard. mary exclaimed, "bless me! here is winthrop. i declare i had no idea! well now, i think we had better turn back; i am excessively tired." henrietta, conscious and ashamed, and seeing no cousin charles walking along any path, or leaning against any gate, was ready to do as mary wished; but "no!" said charles musgrove, and "no, no!" cried louisa more eagerly, and taking her sister aside, seemed to be arguing the matter warmly. charles, in the meanwhile, was very decidedly declaring his resolution of calling on his aunt, now that he was so near; and very evidently, though more fearfully, trying to induce his wife to go too. but this was one of the points on which the lady shewed her strength; and when he recommended the advantage of resting herself a quarter of an hour at winthrop, as she felt so tired, she resolutely answered, "oh! no, indeed! walking up that hill again would do her more harm than any sitting down could do her good;" and, in short, her look and manner declared, that go she would not. after a little succession of these sort of debates and consultations, it was settled between charles and his two sisters, that he and henrietta should just run down for a few minutes, to see their aunt and cousins, while the rest of the party waited for them at the top of the hill. louisa seemed the principal arranger of the plan; and, as she went a little way with them, down the hill, still talking to henrietta, mary took the opportunity of looking scornfully around her, and saying to captain wentworth-"it is very unpleasant, having such connexions! but, i assure you, i have never been in the house above twice in my life." she received no other answer, than an artificial, assenting smile, followed by a contemptuous glance, as he turned away, which anne perfectly knew the meaning of. the brow of the hill, where they remained, was a cheerful spot: louisa returned; and mary, finding a comfortable seat for herself on the step of a stile, was very well satisfied so long as the others all stood about her; but when louisa drew captain wentworth away, to try for a gleaning of nuts in an adjoining hedge-row, and they were gone by degrees quite out of sight and sound, mary was happy no longer; she quarrelled with her own seat, was sure louisa had got a much better somewhere, and nothing could prevent her from going to look for a better also. she turned through the same gate, but could not see them. anne found a nice seat for her, on a dry sunny bank, under the hedge-row, in which she had no doubt of their still being, in some spot or other. mary sat down for a moment, but it would not do; she was sure louisa had found a better seat somewhere else, and she would go on till she overtook her. anne, really tired herself, was glad to sit down; and she very soon heard captain wentworth and louisa in the hedge-row, behind her, as if making their way back along the rough, wild sort of channel, down the centre. they were speaking as they drew near. louisa's voice was the first distinguished. she seemed to be in the middle of some eager speech. what anne first heard was-"and so, i made her go. i could not bear that she should be frightened from the visit by such nonsense. what! would i be turned back from doing a thing that i had determined to do, and that i knew to be right, by the airs and interference of such a person, or of any person i may say? no, i have no idea of being so easily persuaded. when i have made up my mind, i have made it; and henrietta seemed entirely to have made up hers to call at winthrop to-day; and yet, she was as near giving it up, out of nonsensical complaisance!" "she would have turned back then, but for you?" "she would indeed. i am almost ashamed to say it." "happy for her, to have such a mind as yours at hand! after the hints you gave just now, which did but confirm my own observations, the last time i was in company with him, i need not affect to have no comprehension of what is going on. i see that more than a mere dutiful morning visit to your aunt was in question; and woe betide him, and her too, when it comes to things of consequence, when they are placed in circumstances requiring fortitude and strength of mind, if she have not resolution enough to resist idle interference in such a trifle as this. your sister is an amiable creature; but yours is the character of decision and firmness, i see. if you value her conduct or happiness, infuse as much of your own spirit into her as you can. but this, no doubt, you have been always doing. it is the worst evil of too yielding and indecisive a character, that no influence over it can be depended on. you are never sure of a good impression being durable; everybody may sway it. let those who would be happy be firm. here is a nut," said he, catching one down from an upper bough, "to exemplify: a beautiful glossy nut, which, blessed with original strength, has outlived all the storms of autumn. not a puncture, not a weak spot anywhere. this nut," he continued, with playful solemnity, "while so many of his brethren have fallen and been trodden under foot, is still in possession of all the happiness that a hazel nut can be supposed capable of." then returning to his former earnest tone--"my first wish for all whom i am interested in, is that they should be firm. if louisa musgrove would be beautiful and happy in her november of life, she will cherish all her present powers of mind." he had done, and was unanswered. it would have surprised anne if louisa could have readily answered such a speech: words of such interest, spoken with such serious warmth! she could imagine what louisa was feeling. for herself, she feared to move, lest she should be seen. while she remained, a bush of low rambling holly protected her, and they were moving on. before they were beyond her hearing, however, louisa spoke again. "mary is good-natured enough in many respects," said she; "but she does sometimes provoke me excessively, by her nonsense and pride--the elliot pride. she has a great deal too much of the elliot pride. we do so wish that charles had married anne instead. i suppose you know he wanted to marry anne?" after a moment's pause, captain wentworth said-"do you mean that she refused him?" "oh! yes; certainly." "when did that happen?" "i do not exactly know, for henrietta and i were at school at the time; but i believe about a year before he married mary. i wish she had accepted him. we should all have liked her a great deal better; and papa and mamma always think it was her great friend lady russell's doing, that she did not. they think charles might not be learned and bookish enough to please lady russell, and that therefore, she persuaded anne to refuse him." the sounds were retreating, and anne distinguished no more. her own emotions still kept her fixed. she had much to recover from, before she could move. the listener's proverbial fate was not absolutely hers; she had heard no evil of herself, but she had heard a great deal of very painful import. she saw how her own character was considered by captain wentworth, and there had been just that degree of feeling and curiosity about her in his manner which must give her extreme agitation. as soon as she could, she went after mary, and having found, and walked back with her to their former station, by the stile, felt some comfort in their whole party being immediately afterwards collected, and once more in motion together. her spirits wanted the solitude and silence which only numbers could give. charles and henrietta returned, bringing, as may be conjectured, charles hayter with them. the minutiae of the business anne could not attempt to understand; even captain wentworth did not seem admitted to perfect confidence here; but that there had been a withdrawing on the gentleman's side, and a relenting on the lady's, and that they were now very glad to be together again, did not admit a doubt. henrietta looked a little ashamed, but very well pleased;--charles hayter exceedingly happy: and they were devoted to each other almost from the first instant of their all setting forward for uppercross. everything now marked out louisa for captain wentworth; nothing could be plainer; and where many divisions were necessary, or even where they were not, they walked side by side nearly as much as the other two. in a long strip of meadow land, where there was ample space for all, they were thus divided, forming three distinct parties; and to that party of the three which boasted least animation, and least complaisance, anne necessarily belonged. she joined charles and mary, and was tired enough to be very glad of charles's other arm; but charles, though in very good humour with her, was out of temper with his wife. mary had shewn herself disobliging to him, and was now to reap the consequence, which consequence was his dropping her arm almost every moment to cut off the heads of some nettles in the hedge with his switch; and when mary began to complain of it, and lament her being ill-used, according to custom, in being on the hedge side, while anne was never incommoded on the other, he dropped the arms of both to hunt after a weasel which he had a momentary glance of, and they could hardly get him along at all. this long meadow bordered a lane, which their footpath, at the end of it was to cross, and when the party had all reached the gate of exit, the carriage advancing in the same direction, which had been some time heard, was just coming up, and proved to be admiral croft's gig. he and his wife had taken their intended drive, and were returning home. upon hearing how long a walk the young people had engaged in, they kindly offered a seat to any lady who might be particularly tired; it would save her a full mile, and they were going through uppercross. the invitation was general, and generally declined. the miss musgroves were not at all tired, and mary was either offended, by not being asked before any of the others, or what louisa called the elliot pride could not endure to make a third in a one horse chaise. the walking party had crossed the lane, and were surmounting an opposite stile, and the admiral was putting his horse in motion again, when captain wentworth cleared the hedge in a moment to say something to his sister. the something might be guessed by its effects. "miss elliot, i am sure you are tired," cried mrs croft. "do let us have the pleasure of taking you home. here is excellent room for three, i assure you. if we were all like you, i believe we might sit four. you must, indeed, you must." anne was still in the lane; and though instinctively beginning to decline, she was not allowed to proceed. the admiral's kind urgency came in support of his wife's; they would not be refused; they compressed themselves into the smallest possible space to leave her a corner, and captain wentworth, without saying a word, turned to her, and quietly obliged her to be assisted into the carriage. yes; he had done it. she was in the carriage, and felt that he had placed her there, that his will and his hands had done it, that she owed it to his perception of her fatigue, and his resolution to give her rest. she was very much affected by the view of his disposition towards her, which all these things made apparent. this little circumstance seemed the completion of all that had gone before. she understood him. he could not forgive her, but he could not be unfeeling. though condemning her for the past, and considering it with high and unjust resentment, though perfectly careless of her, and though becoming attached to another, still he could not see her suffer, without the desire of giving her relief. it was a remainder of former sentiment; it was an impulse of pure, though unacknowledged friendship; it was a proof of his own warm and amiable heart, which she could not contemplate without emotions so compounded of pleasure and pain, that she knew not which prevailed. her answers to the kindness and the remarks of her companions were at first unconsciously given. they had travelled half their way along the rough lane, before she was quite awake to what they said. she then found them talking of "frederick." "he certainly means to have one or other of those two girls, sophy," said the admiral; "but there is no saying which. he has been running after them, too, long enough, one would think, to make up his mind. ay, this comes of the peace. if it were war now, he would have settled it long ago. we sailors, miss elliot, cannot afford to make long courtships in time of war. how many days was it, my dear, between the first time of my seeing you and our sitting down together in our lodgings at north yarmouth?" "we had better not talk about it, my dear," replied mrs croft, pleasantly; "for if miss elliot were to hear how soon we came to an understanding, she would never be persuaded that we could be happy together. i had known you by character, however, long before." "well, and i had heard of you as a very pretty girl, and what were we to wait for besides? i do not like having such things so long in hand. i wish frederick would spread a little more canvass, and bring us home one of these young ladies to kellynch. then there would always be company for them. and very nice young ladies they both are; i hardly know one from the other." "very good humoured, unaffected girls, indeed," said mrs croft, in a tone of calmer praise, such as made anne suspect that her keener powers might not consider either of them as quite worthy of her brother; "and a very respectable family. one could not be connected with better people. my dear admiral, that post! we shall certainly take that post." but by coolly giving the reins a better direction herself they happily passed the danger; and by once afterwards judiciously putting out her hand they neither fell into a rut, nor ran foul of a dung-cart; and anne, with some amusement at their style of driving, which she imagined no bad representation of the general guidance of their affairs, found herself safely deposited by them at the cottage. chapter 11 the time now approached for lady russell's return: the day was even fixed; and anne, being engaged to join her as soon as she was resettled, was looking forward to an early removal to kellynch, and beginning to think how her own comfort was likely to be affected by it. it would place her in the same village with captain wentworth, within half a mile of him; they would have to frequent the same church, and there must be intercourse between the two families. this was against her; but on the other hand, he spent so much of his time at uppercross, that in removing thence she might be considered rather as leaving him behind, than as going towards him; and, upon the whole, she believed she must, on this interesting question, be the gainer, almost as certainly as in her change of domestic society, in leaving poor mary for lady russell. she wished it might be possible for her to avoid ever seeing captain wentworth at the hall: those rooms had witnessed former meetings which would be brought too painfully before her; but she was yet more anxious for the possibility of lady russell and captain wentworth never meeting anywhere. they did not like each other, and no renewal of acquaintance now could do any good; and were lady russell to see them together, she might think that he had too much self-possession, and she too little. these points formed her chief solicitude in anticipating her removal from uppercross, where she felt she had been stationed quite long enough. her usefulness to little charles would always give some sweetness to the memory of her two months' visit there, but he was gaining strength apace, and she had nothing else to stay for. the conclusion of her visit, however, was diversified in a way which she had not at all imagined. captain wentworth, after being unseen and unheard of at uppercross for two whole days, appeared again among them to justify himself by a relation of what had kept him away. a letter from his friend, captain harville, having found him out at last, had brought intelligence of captain harville's being settled with his family at lyme for the winter; of their being therefore, quite unknowingly, within twenty miles of each other. captain harville had never been in good health since a severe wound which he received two years before, and captain wentworth's anxiety to see him had determined him to go immediately to lyme. he had been there for four-and-twenty hours. his acquittal was complete, his friendship warmly honoured, a lively interest excited for his friend, and his description of the fine country about lyme so feelingly attended to by the party, that an earnest desire to see lyme themselves, and a project for going thither was the consequence. the young people were all wild to see lyme. captain wentworth talked of going there again himself, it was only seventeen miles from uppercross; though november, the weather was by no means bad; and, in short, louisa, who was the most eager of the eager, having formed the resolution to go, and besides the pleasure of doing as she liked, being now armed with the idea of merit in maintaining her own way, bore down all the wishes of her father and mother for putting it off till summer; and to lyme they were to go--charles, mary, anne, henrietta, louisa, and captain wentworth. the first heedless scheme had been to go in the morning and return at night; but to this mr musgrove, for the sake of his horses, would not consent; and when it came to be rationally considered, a day in the middle of november would not leave much time for seeing a new place, after deducting seven hours, as the nature of the country required, for going and returning. they were, consequently, to stay the night there, and not to be expected back till the next day's dinner. this was felt to be a considerable amendment; and though they all met at the great house at rather an early breakfast hour, and set off very punctually, it was so much past noon before the two carriages, mr musgrove's coach containing the four ladies, and charles's curricle, in which he drove captain wentworth, were descending the long hill into lyme, and entering upon the still steeper street of the town itself, that it was very evident they would not have more than time for looking about them, before the light and warmth of the day were gone. after securing accommodations, and ordering a dinner at one of the inns, the next thing to be done was unquestionably to walk directly down to the sea. they were come too late in the year for any amusement or variety which lyme, as a public place, might offer. the rooms were shut up, the lodgers almost all gone, scarcely any family but of the residents left; and, as there is nothing to admire in the buildings themselves, the remarkable situation of the town, the principal street almost hurrying into the water, the walk to the cobb, skirting round the pleasant little bay, which, in the season, is animated with bathing machines and company; the cobb itself, its old wonders and new improvements, with the very beautiful line of cliffs stretching out to the east of the town, are what the stranger's eye will seek; and a very strange stranger it must be, who does not see charms in the immediate environs of lyme, to make him wish to know it better. the scenes in its neighbourhood, charmouth, with its high grounds and extensive sweeps of country, and still more, its sweet, retired bay, backed by dark cliffs, where fragments of low rock among the sands, make it the happiest spot for watching the flow of the tide, for sitting in unwearied contemplation; the woody varieties of the cheerful village of up lyme; and, above all, pinny, with its green chasms between romantic rocks, where the scattered forest trees and orchards of luxuriant growth, declare that many a generation must have passed away since the first partial falling of the cliff prepared the ground for such a state, where a scene so wonderful and so lovely is exhibited, as may more than equal any of the resembling scenes of the far-famed isle of wight: these places must be visited, and visited again, to make the worth of lyme understood. the party from uppercross passing down by the now deserted and melancholy looking rooms, and still descending, soon found themselves on the sea-shore; and lingering only, as all must linger and gaze on a first return to the sea, who ever deserved to look on it at all, proceeded towards the cobb, equally their object in itself and on captain wentworth's account: for in a small house, near the foot of an old pier of unknown date, were the harvilles settled. captain wentworth turned in to call on his friend; the others walked on, and he was to join them on the cobb. they were by no means tired of wondering and admiring; and not even louisa seemed to feel that they had parted with captain wentworth long, when they saw him coming after them, with three companions, all well known already, by description, to be captain and mrs harville, and a captain benwick, who was staying with them. captain benwick had some time ago been first lieutenant of the laconia; and the account which captain wentworth had given of him, on his return from lyme before, his warm praise of him as an excellent young man and an officer, whom he had always valued highly, which must have stamped him well in the esteem of every listener, had been followed by a little history of his private life, which rendered him perfectly interesting in the eyes of all the ladies. he had been engaged to captain harville's sister, and was now mourning her loss. they had been a year or two waiting for fortune and promotion. fortune came, his prize-money as lieutenant being great; promotion, too, came at last; but fanny harville did not live to know it. she had died the preceding summer while he was at sea. captain wentworth believed it impossible for man to be more attached to woman than poor benwick had been to fanny harville, or to be more deeply afflicted under the dreadful change. he considered his disposition as of the sort which must suffer heavily, uniting very strong feelings with quiet, serious, and retiring manners, and a decided taste for reading, and sedentary pursuits. to finish the interest of the story, the friendship between him and the harvilles seemed, if possible, augmented by the event which closed all their views of alliance, and captain benwick was now living with them entirely. captain harville had taken his present house for half a year; his taste, and his health, and his fortune, all directing him to a residence inexpensive, and by the sea; and the grandeur of the country, and the retirement of lyme in the winter, appeared exactly adapted to captain benwick's state of mind. the sympathy and good-will excited towards captain benwick was very great. "and yet," said anne to herself, as they now moved forward to meet the party, "he has not, perhaps, a more sorrowing heart than i have. i cannot believe his prospects so blighted for ever. he is younger than i am; younger in feeling, if not in fact; younger as a man. he will rally again, and be happy with another." they all met, and were introduced. captain harville was a tall, dark man, with a sensible, benevolent countenance; a little lame; and from strong features and want of health, looking much older than captain wentworth. captain benwick looked, and was, the youngest of the three, and, compared with either of them, a little man. he had a pleasing face and a melancholy air, just as he ought to have, and drew back from conversation. captain harville, though not equalling captain wentworth in manners, was a perfect gentleman, unaffected, warm, and obliging. mrs harville, a degree less polished than her husband, seemed, however, to have the same good feelings; and nothing could be more pleasant than their desire of considering the whole party as friends of their own, because the friends of captain wentworth, or more kindly hospitable than their entreaties for their all promising to dine with them. the dinner, already ordered at the inn, was at last, though unwillingly, accepted as a excuse; but they seemed almost hurt that captain wentworth should have brought any such party to lyme, without considering it as a thing of course that they should dine with them. there was so much attachment to captain wentworth in all this, and such a bewitching charm in a degree of hospitality so uncommon, so unlike the usual style of give-and-take invitations, and dinners of formality and display, that anne felt her spirits not likely to be benefited by an increasing acquaintance among his brother-officers. "these would have been all my friends," was her thought; and she had to struggle against a great tendency to lowness. on quitting the cobb, they all went in-doors with their new friends, and found rooms so small as none but those who invite from the heart could think capable of accommodating so many. anne had a moment's astonishment on the subject herself; but it was soon lost in the pleasanter feelings which sprang from the sight of all the ingenious contrivances and nice arrangements of captain harville, to turn the actual space to the best account, to supply the deficiencies of lodging-house furniture, and defend the windows and doors against the winter storms to be expected. the varieties in the fitting-up of the rooms, where the common necessaries provided by the owner, in the common indifferent plight, were contrasted with some few articles of a rare species of wood, excellently worked up, and with something curious and valuable from all the distant countries captain harville had visited, were more than amusing to anne; connected as it all was with his profession, the fruit of its labours, the effect of its influence on his habits, the picture of repose and domestic happiness it presented, made it to her a something more, or less, than gratification. captain harville was no reader; but he had contrived excellent accommodations, and fashioned very pretty shelves, for a tolerable collection of well-bound volumes, the property of captain benwick. his lameness prevented him from taking much exercise; but a mind of usefulness and ingenuity seemed to furnish him with constant employment within. he drew, he varnished, he carpentered, he glued; he made toys for the children; he fashioned new netting-needles and pins with improvements; and if everything else was done, sat down to his large fishing-net at one corner of the room. anne thought she left great happiness behind her when they quitted the house; and louisa, by whom she found herself walking, burst forth into raptures of admiration and delight on the character of the navy; their friendliness, their brotherliness, their openness, their uprightness; protesting that she was convinced of sailors having more worth and warmth than any other set of men in england; that they only knew how to live, and they only deserved to be respected and loved. they went back to dress and dine; and so well had the scheme answered already, that nothing was found amiss; though its being "so entirely out of season," and the "no thoroughfare of lyme," and the "no expectation of company," had brought many apologies from the heads of the inn. anne found herself by this time growing so much more hardened to being in captain wentworth's company than she had at first imagined could ever be, that the sitting down to the same table with him now, and the interchange of the common civilities attending on it (they never got beyond), was become a mere nothing. the nights were too dark for the ladies to meet again till the morrow, but captain harville had promised them a visit in the evening; and he came, bringing his friend also, which was more than had been expected, it having been agreed that captain benwick had all the appearance of being oppressed by the presence of so many strangers. he ventured among them again, however, though his spirits certainly did not seem fit for the mirth of the party in general. while captains wentworth and harville led the talk on one side of the room, and by recurring to former days, supplied anecdotes in abundance to occupy and entertain the others, it fell to anne's lot to be placed rather apart with captain benwick; and a very good impulse of her nature obliged her to begin an acquaintance with him. he was shy, and disposed to abstraction; but the engaging mildness of her countenance, and gentleness of her manners, soon had their effect; and anne was well repaid the first trouble of exertion. he was evidently a young man of considerable taste in reading, though principally in poetry; and besides the persuasion of having given him at least an evening's indulgence in the discussion of subjects, which his usual companions had probably no concern in, she had the hope of being of real use to him in some suggestions as to the duty and benefit of struggling against affliction, which had naturally grown out of their conversation. for, though shy, he did not seem reserved; it had rather the appearance of feelings glad to burst their usual restraints; and having talked of poetry, the richness of the present age, and gone through a brief comparison of opinion as to the first-rate poets, trying to ascertain whether marmion or the lady of the lake were to be preferred, and how ranked the giaour and the bride of abydos; and moreover, how the giaour was to be pronounced, he showed himself so intimately acquainted with all the tenderest songs of the one poet, and all the impassioned descriptions of hopeless agony of the other; he repeated, with such tremulous feeling, the various lines which imaged a broken heart, or a mind destroyed by wretchedness, and looked so entirely as if he meant to be understood, that she ventured to hope he did not always read only poetry, and to say, that she thought it was the misfortune of poetry to be seldom safely enjoyed by those who enjoyed it completely; and that the strong feelings which alone could estimate it truly were the very feelings which ought to taste it but sparingly. his looks shewing him not pained, but pleased with this allusion to his situation, she was emboldened to go on; and feeling in herself the right of seniority of mind, she ventured to recommend a larger allowance of prose in his daily study; and on being requested to particularize, mentioned such works of our best moralists, such collections of the finest letters, such memoirs of characters of worth and suffering, as occurred to her at the moment as calculated to rouse and fortify the mind by the highest precepts, and the strongest examples of moral and religious endurances. captain benwick listened attentively, and seemed grateful for the interest implied; and though with a shake of the head, and sighs which declared his little faith in the efficacy of any books on grief like his, noted down the names of those she recommended, and promised to procure and read them. when the evening was over, anne could not but be amused at the idea of her coming to lyme to preach patience and resignation to a young man whom she had never seen before; nor could she help fearing, on more serious reflection, that, like many other great moralists and preachers, she had been eloquent on a point in which her own conduct would ill bear examination. chapter 12 anne and henrietta, finding themselves the earliest of the party the next morning, agreed to stroll down to the sea before breakfast. they went to the sands, to watch the flowing of the tide, which a fine south-easterly breeze was bringing in with all the grandeur which so flat a shore admitted. they praised the morning; gloried in the sea; sympathized in the delight of the fresh-feeling breeze--and were silent; till henrietta suddenly began again with-"oh! yes,--i am quite convinced that, with very few exceptions, the sea-air always does good. there can be no doubt of its having been of the greatest service to dr shirley, after his illness, last spring twelve-month. he declares himself, that coming to lyme for a month, did him more good than all the medicine he took; and, that being by the sea, always makes him feel young again. now, i cannot help thinking it a pity that he does not live entirely by the sea. i do think he had better leave uppercross entirely, and fix at lyme. do not you, anne? do not you agree with me, that it is the best thing he could do, both for himself and mrs shirley? she has cousins here, you know, and many acquaintance, which would make it cheerful for her, and i am sure she would be glad to get to a place where she could have medical attendance at hand, in case of his having another seizure. indeed i think it quite melancholy to have such excellent people as dr and mrs shirley, who have been doing good all their lives, wearing out their last days in a place like uppercross, where, excepting our family, they seem shut out from all the world. i wish his friends would propose it to him. i really think they ought. and, as to procuring a dispensation, there could be no difficulty at his time of life, and with his character. my only doubt is, whether anything could persuade him to leave his parish. he is so very strict and scrupulous in his notions; over-scrupulous i must say. do not you think, anne, it is being over-scrupulous? do not you think it is quite a mistaken point of conscience, when a clergyman sacrifices his health for the sake of duties, which may be just as well performed by another person? and at lyme too, only seventeen miles off, he would be near enough to hear, if people thought there was anything to complain of." anne smiled more than once to herself during this speech, and entered into the subject, as ready to do good by entering into the feelings of a young lady as of a young man, though here it was good of a lower standard, for what could be offered but general acquiescence? she said all that was reasonable and proper on the business; felt the claims of dr shirley to repose as she ought; saw how very desirable it was that he should have some active, respectable young man, as a resident curate, and was even courteous enough to hint at the advantage of such resident curate's being married. "i wish," said henrietta, very well pleased with her companion, "i wish lady russell lived at uppercross, and were intimate with dr shirley. i have always heard of lady russell as a woman of the greatest influence with everybody! i always look upon her as able to persuade a person to anything! i am afraid of her, as i have told you before, quite afraid of her, because she is so very clever; but i respect her amazingly, and wish we had such a neighbour at uppercross." anne was amused by henrietta's manner of being grateful, and amused also that the course of events and the new interests of henrietta's views should have placed her friend at all in favour with any of the musgrove family; she had only time, however, for a general answer, and a wish that such another woman were at uppercross, before all subjects suddenly ceased, on seeing louisa and captain wentworth coming towards them. they came also for a stroll till breakfast was likely to be ready; but louisa recollecting, immediately afterwards that she had something to procure at a shop, invited them all to go back with her into the town. they were all at her disposal. when they came to the steps, leading upwards from the beach, a gentleman, at the same moment preparing to come down, politely drew back, and stopped to give them way. they ascended and passed him; and as they passed, anne's face caught his eye, and he looked at her with a degree of earnest admiration, which she could not be insensible of. she was looking remarkably well; her very regular, very pretty features, having the bloom and freshness of youth restored by the fine wind which had been blowing on her complexion, and by the animation of eye which it had also produced. it was evident that the gentleman, (completely a gentleman in manner) admired her exceedingly. captain wentworth looked round at her instantly in a way which shewed his noticing of it. he gave her a momentary glance, a glance of brightness, which seemed to say, "that man is struck with you, and even i, at this moment, see something like anne elliot again." after attending louisa through her business, and loitering about a little longer, they returned to the inn; and anne, in passing afterwards quickly from her own chamber to their dining-room, had nearly run against the very same gentleman, as he came out of an adjoining apartment. she had before conjectured him to be a stranger like themselves, and determined that a well-looking groom, who was strolling about near the two inns as they came back, should be his servant. both master and man being in mourning assisted the idea. it was now proved that he belonged to the same inn as themselves; and this second meeting, short as it was, also proved again by the gentleman's looks, that he thought hers very lovely, and by the readiness and propriety of his apologies, that he was a man of exceedingly good manners. he seemed about thirty, and though not handsome, had an agreeable person. anne felt that she should like to know who he was. they had nearly done breakfast, when the sound of a carriage, (almost the first they had heard since entering lyme) drew half the party to the window. it was a gentleman's carriage, a curricle, but only coming round from the stable-yard to the front door; somebody must be going away. it was driven by a servant in mourning. the word curricle made charles musgrove jump up that he might compare it with his own; the servant in mourning roused anne's curiosity, and the whole six were collected to look, by the time the owner of the curricle was to be seen issuing from the door amidst the bows and civilities of the household, and taking his seat, to drive off. "ah!" cried captain wentworth, instantly, and with half a glance at anne, "it is the very man we passed." the miss musgroves agreed to it; and having all kindly watched him as far up the hill as they could, they returned to the breakfast table. the waiter came into the room soon afterwards. "pray," said captain wentworth, immediately, "can you tell us the name of the gentleman who is just gone away?" "yes, sir, a mr elliot, a gentleman of large fortune, came in last night from sidmouth. dare say you heard the carriage, sir, while you were at dinner; and going on now for crewkherne, in his way to bath and london." "elliot!" many had looked on each other, and many had repeated the name, before all this had been got through, even by the smart rapidity of a waiter. "bless me!" cried mary; "it must be our cousin; it must be our mr elliot, it must, indeed! charles, anne, must not it? in mourning, you see, just as our mr elliot must be. how very extraordinary! in the very same inn with us! anne, must not it be our mr elliot? my father's next heir? pray sir," turning to the waiter, "did not you hear, did not his servant say whether he belonged to the kellynch family?" "no, ma'am, he did not mention no particular family; but he said his master was a very rich gentleman, and would be a baronight some day." "there! you see!" cried mary in an ecstasy, "just as i said! heir to sir walter elliot! i was sure that would come out, if it was so. depend upon it, that is a circumstance which his servants take care to publish, wherever he goes. but, anne, only conceive how extraordinary! i wish i had looked at him more. i wish we had been aware in time, who it was, that he might have been introduced to us. what a pity that we should not have been introduced to each other! do you think he had the elliot countenance? i hardly looked at him, i was looking at the horses; but i think he had something of the elliot countenance, i wonder the arms did not strike me! oh! the great-coat was hanging over the panel, and hid the arms, so it did; otherwise, i am sure, i should have observed them, and the livery too; if the servant had not been in mourning, one should have known him by the livery." "putting all these very extraordinary circumstances together," said captain wentworth, "we must consider it to be the arrangement of providence, that you should not be introduced to your cousin." when she could command mary's attention, anne quietly tried to convince her that their father and mr elliot had not, for many years, been on such terms as to make the power of attempting an introduction at all desirable. at the same time, however, it was a secret gratification to herself to have seen her cousin, and to know that the future owner of kellynch was undoubtedly a gentleman, and had an air of good sense. she would not, upon any account, mention her having met with him the second time; luckily mary did not much attend to their having passed close by him in their earlier walk, but she would have felt quite ill-used by anne's having actually run against him in the passage, and received his very polite excuses, while she had never been near him at all; no, that cousinly little interview must remain a perfect secret. "of course," said mary, "you will mention our seeing mr elliot, the next time you write to bath. i think my father certainly ought to hear of it; do mention all about him." anne avoided a direct reply, but it was just the circumstance which she considered as not merely unnecessary to be communicated, but as what ought to be suppressed. the offence which had been given her father, many years back, she knew; elizabeth's particular share in it she suspected; and that mr elliot's idea always produced irritation in both was beyond a doubt. mary never wrote to bath herself; all the toil of keeping up a slow and unsatisfactory correspondence with elizabeth fell on anne. breakfast had not been long over, when they were joined by captain and mrs harville and captain benwick; with whom they had appointed to take their last walk about lyme. they ought to be setting off for uppercross by one, and in the meanwhile were to be all together, and out of doors as long as they could. anne found captain benwick getting near her, as soon as they were all fairly in the street. their conversation the preceding evening did not disincline him to seek her again; and they walked together some time, talking as before of mr scott and lord byron, and still as unable as before, and as unable as any other two readers, to think exactly alike of the merits of either, till something occasioned an almost general change amongst their party, and instead of captain benwick, she had captain harville by her side. "miss elliot," said he, speaking rather low, "you have done a good deed in making that poor fellow talk so much. i wish he could have such company oftener. it is bad for him, i know, to be shut up as he is; but what can we do? we cannot part." "no," said anne, "that i can easily believe to be impossible; but in time, perhaps--we know what time does in every case of affliction, and you must remember, captain harville, that your friend may yet be called a young mourner--only last summer, i understand." "ay, true enough," (with a deep sigh) "only june." "and not known to him, perhaps, so soon." "not till the first week of august, when he came home from the cape, just made into the grappler. i was at plymouth dreading to hear of him; he sent in letters, but the grappler was under orders for portsmouth. there the news must follow him, but who was to tell it? not i. i would as soon have been run up to the yard-arm. nobody could do it, but that good fellow" (pointing to captain wentworth.) "the laconia had come into plymouth the week before; no danger of her being sent to sea again. he stood his chance for the rest; wrote up for leave of absence, but without waiting the return, travelled night and day till he got to portsmouth, rowed off to the grappler that instant, and never left the poor fellow for a week. that's what he did, and nobody else could have saved poor james. you may think, miss elliot, whether he is dear to us!" anne did think on the question with perfect decision, and said as much in reply as her own feeling could accomplish, or as his seemed able to bear, for he was too much affected to renew the subject, and when he spoke again, it was of something totally different. mrs harville's giving it as her opinion that her husband would have quite walking enough by the time he reached home, determined the direction of all the party in what was to be their last walk; they would accompany them to their door, and then return and set off themselves. by all their calculations there was just time for this; but as they drew near the cobb, there was such a general wish to walk along it once more, all were so inclined, and louisa soon grew so determined, that the difference of a quarter of an hour, it was found, would be no difference at all; so with all the kind leave-taking, and all the kind interchange of invitations and promises which may be imagined, they parted from captain and mrs harville at their own door, and still accompanied by captain benwick, who seemed to cling to them to the last, proceeded to make the proper adieus to the cobb. anne found captain benwick again drawing near her. lord byron's "dark blue seas" could not fail of being brought forward by their present view, and she gladly gave him all her attention as long as attention was possible. it was soon drawn, perforce another way. there was too much wind to make the high part of the new cobb pleasant for the ladies, and they agreed to get down the steps to the lower, and all were contented to pass quietly and carefully down the steep flight, excepting louisa; she must be jumped down them by captain wentworth. in all their walks, he had had to jump her from the stiles; the sensation was delightful to her. the hardness of the pavement for her feet, made him less willing upon the present occasion; he did it, however. she was safely down, and instantly, to show her enjoyment, ran up the steps to be jumped down again. he advised her against it, thought the jar too great; but no, he reasoned and talked in vain, she smiled and said, "i am determined i will:" he put out his hands; she was too precipitate by half a second, she fell on the pavement on the lower cobb, and was taken up lifeless! there was no wound, no blood, no visible bruise; but her eyes were closed, she breathed not, her face was like death. the horror of the moment to all who stood around! captain wentworth, who had caught her up, knelt with her in his arms, looking on her with a face as pallid as her own, in an agony of silence. "she is dead! she is dead!" screamed mary, catching hold of her husband, and contributing with his own horror to make him immoveable; and in another moment, henrietta, sinking under the conviction, lost her senses too, and would have fallen on the steps, but for captain benwick and anne, who caught and supported her between them. "is there no one to help me?" were the first words which burst from captain wentworth, in a tone of despair, and as if all his own strength were gone. "go to him, go to him," cried anne, "for heaven's sake go to him. i can support her myself. leave me, and go to him. rub her hands, rub her temples; here are salts; take them, take them." captain benwick obeyed, and charles at the same moment, disengaging himself from his wife, they were both with him; and louisa was raised up and supported more firmly between them, and everything was done that anne had prompted, but in vain; while captain wentworth, staggering against the wall for his support, exclaimed in the bitterest agony-"oh god! her father and mother!" "a surgeon!" said anne. he caught the word; it seemed to rouse him at once, and saying only-"true, true, a surgeon this instant," was darting away, when anne eagerly suggested-"captain benwick, would not it be better for captain benwick? he knows where a surgeon is to be found." every one capable of thinking felt the advantage of the idea, and in a moment (it was all done in rapid moments) captain benwick had resigned the poor corpse-like figure entirely to the brother's care, and was off for the town with the utmost rapidity. as to the wretched party left behind, it could scarcely be said which of the three, who were completely rational, was suffering most: captain wentworth, anne, or charles, who, really a very affectionate brother, hung over louisa with sobs of grief, and could only turn his eyes from one sister, to see the other in a state as insensible, or to witness the hysterical agitations of his wife, calling on him for help which he could not give. anne, attending with all the strength and zeal, and thought, which instinct supplied, to henrietta, still tried, at intervals, to suggest comfort to the others, tried to quiet mary, to animate charles, to assuage the feelings of captain wentworth. both seemed to look to her for directions. "anne, anne," cried charles, "what is to be done next? what, in heaven's name, is to be done next?" captain wentworth's eyes were also turned towards her. "had not she better be carried to the inn? yes, i am sure: carry her gently to the inn." "yes, yes, to the inn," repeated captain wentworth, comparatively collected, and eager to be doing something. "i will carry her myself. musgrove, take care of the others." by this time the report of the accident had spread among the workmen and boatmen about the cobb, and many were collected near them, to be useful if wanted, at any rate, to enjoy the sight of a dead young lady, nay, two dead young ladies, for it proved twice as fine as the first report. to some of the best-looking of these good people henrietta was consigned, for, though partially revived, she was quite helpless; and in this manner, anne walking by her side, and charles attending to his wife, they set forward, treading back with feelings unutterable, the ground, which so lately, so very lately, and so light of heart, they had passed along. they were not off the cobb, before the harvilles met them. captain benwick had been seen flying by their house, with a countenance which showed something to be wrong; and they had set off immediately, informed and directed as they passed, towards the spot. shocked as captain harville was, he brought senses and nerves that could be instantly useful; and a look between him and his wife decided what was to be done. she must be taken to their house; all must go to their house; and await the surgeon's arrival there. they would not listen to scruples: he was obeyed; they were all beneath his roof; and while louisa, under mrs harville's direction, was conveyed up stairs, and given possession of her own bed, assistance, cordials, restoratives were supplied by her husband to all who needed them. louisa had once opened her eyes, but soon closed them again, without apparent consciousness. this had been a proof of life, however, of service to her sister; and henrietta, though perfectly incapable of being in the same room with louisa, was kept, by the agitation of hope and fear, from a return of her own insensibility. mary, too, was growing calmer. the surgeon was with them almost before it had seemed possible. they were sick with horror, while he examined; but he was not hopeless. the head had received a severe contusion, but he had seen greater injuries recovered from: he was by no means hopeless; he spoke cheerfully. that he did not regard it as a desperate case, that he did not say a few hours must end it, was at first felt, beyond the hope of most; and the ecstasy of such a reprieve, the rejoicing, deep and silent, after a few fervent ejaculations of gratitude to heaven had been offered, may be conceived. the tone, the look, with which "thank god!" was uttered by captain wentworth, anne was sure could never be forgotten by her; nor the sight of him afterwards, as he sat near a table, leaning over it with folded arms and face concealed, as if overpowered by the various feelings of his soul, and trying by prayer and reflection to calm them. louisa's limbs had escaped. there was no injury but to the head. it now became necessary for the party to consider what was best to be done, as to their general situation. they were now able to speak to each other and consult. that louisa must remain where she was, however distressing to her friends to be involving the harvilles in such trouble, did not admit a doubt. her removal was impossible. the harvilles silenced all scruples; and, as much as they could, all gratitude. they had looked forward and arranged everything before the others began to reflect. captain benwick must give up his room to them, and get another bed elsewhere; and the whole was settled. they were only concerned that the house could accommodate no more; and yet perhaps, by "putting the children away in the maid's room, or swinging a cot somewhere," they could hardly bear to think of not finding room for two or three besides, supposing they might wish to stay; though, with regard to any attendance on miss musgrove, there need not be the least uneasiness in leaving her to mrs harville's care entirely. mrs harville was a very experienced nurse, and her nursery-maid, who had lived with her long, and gone about with her everywhere, was just such another. between these two, she could want no possible attendance by day or night. and all this was said with a truth and sincerity of feeling irresistible. charles, henrietta, and captain wentworth were the three in consultation, and for a little while it was only an interchange of perplexity and terror. "uppercross, the necessity of some one's going to uppercross; the news to be conveyed; how it could be broken to mr and mrs musgrove; the lateness of the morning; an hour already gone since they ought to have been off; the impossibility of being in tolerable time." at first, they were capable of nothing more to the purpose than such exclamations; but, after a while, captain wentworth, exerting himself, said-"we must be decided, and without the loss of another minute. every minute is valuable. some one must resolve on being off for uppercross instantly. musgrove, either you or i must go." charles agreed, but declared his resolution of not going away. he would be as little incumbrance as possible to captain and mrs harville; but as to leaving his sister in such a state, he neither ought, nor would. so far it was decided; and henrietta at first declared the same. she, however, was soon persuaded to think differently. the usefulness of her staying! she who had not been able to remain in louisa's room, or to look at her, without sufferings which made her worse than helpless! she was forced to acknowledge that she could do no good, yet was still unwilling to be away, till, touched by the thought of her father and mother, she gave it up; she consented, she was anxious to be at home. the plan had reached this point, when anne, coming quietly down from louisa's room, could not but hear what followed, for the parlour door was open. "then it is settled, musgrove," cried captain wentworth, "that you stay, and that i take care of your sister home. but as to the rest, as to the others, if one stays to assist mrs harville, i think it need be only one. mrs charles musgrove will, of course, wish to get back to her children; but if anne will stay, no one so proper, so capable as anne." she paused a moment to recover from the emotion of hearing herself so spoken of. the other two warmly agreed with what he said, and she then appeared. "you will stay, i am sure; you will stay and nurse her;" cried he, turning to her and speaking with a glow, and yet a gentleness, which seemed almost restoring the past. she coloured deeply, and he recollected himself and moved away. she expressed herself most willing, ready, happy to remain. "it was what she had been thinking of, and wishing to be allowed to do. a bed on the floor in louisa's room would be sufficient for her, if mrs harville would but think so." one thing more, and all seemed arranged. though it was rather desirable that mr and mrs musgrove should be previously alarmed by some share of delay; yet the time required by the uppercross horses to take them back, would be a dreadful extension of suspense; and captain wentworth proposed, and charles musgrove agreed, that it would be much better for him to take a chaise from the inn, and leave mr musgrove's carriage and horses to be sent home the next morning early, when there would be the farther advantage of sending an account of louisa's night. captain wentworth now hurried off to get everything ready on his part, and to be soon followed by the two ladies. when the plan was made known to mary, however, there was an end of all peace in it. she was so wretched and so vehement, complained so much of injustice in being expected to go away instead of anne; anne, who was nothing to louisa, while she was her sister, and had the best right to stay in henrietta's stead! why was not she to be as useful as anne? and to go home without charles, too, without her husband! no, it was too unkind. and in short, she said more than her husband could long withstand, and as none of the others could oppose when he gave way, there was no help for it; the change of mary for anne was inevitable. anne had never submitted more reluctantly to the jealous and ill-judging claims of mary; but so it must be, and they set off for the town, charles taking care of his sister, and captain benwick attending to her. she gave a moment's recollection, as they hurried along, to the little circumstances which the same spots had witnessed earlier in the morning. there she had listened to henrietta's schemes for dr shirley's leaving uppercross; farther on, she had first seen mr elliot; a moment seemed all that could now be given to any one but louisa, or those who were wrapt up in her welfare. captain benwick was most considerately attentive to her; and, united as they all seemed by the distress of the day, she felt an increasing degree of good-will towards him, and a pleasure even in thinking that it might, perhaps, be the occasion of continuing their acquaintance. captain wentworth was on the watch for them, and a chaise and four in waiting, stationed for their convenience in the lowest part of the street; but his evident surprise and vexation at the substitution of one sister for the other, the change in his countenance, the astonishment, the expressions begun and suppressed, with which charles was listened to, made but a mortifying reception of anne; or must at least convince her that she was valued only as she could be useful to louisa. she endeavoured to be composed, and to be just. without emulating the feelings of an emma towards her henry, she would have attended on louisa with a zeal above the common claims of regard, for his sake; and she hoped he would not long be so unjust as to suppose she would shrink unnecessarily from the office of a friend. in the meanwhile she was in the carriage. he had handed them both in, and placed himself between them; and in this manner, under these circumstances, full of astonishment and emotion to anne, she quitted lyme. how the long stage would pass; how it was to affect their manners; what was to be their sort of intercourse, she could not foresee. it was all quite natural, however. he was devoted to henrietta; always turning towards her; and when he spoke at all, always with the view of supporting her hopes and raising her spirits. in general, his voice and manner were studiously calm. to spare henrietta from agitation seemed the governing principle. once only, when she had been grieving over the last ill-judged, ill-fated walk to the cobb, bitterly lamenting that it ever had been thought of, he burst forth, as if wholly overcome-"don't talk of it, don't talk of it," he cried. "oh god! that i had not given way to her at the fatal moment! had i done as i ought! but so eager and so resolute! dear, sweet louisa!" anne wondered whether it ever occurred to him now, to question the justness of his own previous opinion as to the universal felicity and advantage of firmness of character; and whether it might not strike him that, like all other qualities of the mind, it should have its proportions and limits. she thought it could scarcely escape him to feel that a persuadable temper might sometimes be as much in favour of happiness as a very resolute character. they got on fast. anne was astonished to recognise the same hills and the same objects so soon. their actual speed, heightened by some dread of the conclusion, made the road appear but half as long as on the day before. it was growing quite dusk, however, before they were in the neighbourhood of uppercross, and there had been total silence among them for some time, henrietta leaning back in the corner, with a shawl over her face, giving the hope of her having cried herself to sleep; when, as they were going up their last hill, anne found herself all at once addressed by captain wentworth. in a low, cautious voice, he said:-"i have been considering what we had best do. she must not appear at first. she could not stand it. i have been thinking whether you had not better remain in the carriage with her, while i go in and break it to mr and mrs musgrove. do you think this is a good plan?" she did: he was satisfied, and said no more. but the remembrance of the appeal remained a pleasure to her, as a proof of friendship, and of deference for her judgement, a great pleasure; and when it became a sort of parting proof, its value did not lessen. when the distressing communication at uppercross was over, and he had seen the father and mother quite as composed as could be hoped, and the daughter all the better for being with them, he announced his intention of returning in the same carriage to lyme; and when the horses were baited, he was off. (end of volume one.) chapter 13 the remainder of anne's time at uppercross, comprehending only two days, was spent entirely at the mansion house; and she had the satisfaction of knowing herself extremely useful there, both as an immediate companion, and as assisting in all those arrangements for the future, which, in mr and mrs musgrove's distressed state of spirits, would have been difficulties. they had an early account from lyme the next morning. louisa was much the same. no symptoms worse than before had appeared. charles came a few hours afterwards, to bring a later and more particular account. he was tolerably cheerful. a speedy cure must not be hoped, but everything was going on as well as the nature of the case admitted. in speaking of the harvilles, he seemed unable to satisfy his own sense of their kindness, especially of mrs harville's exertions as a nurse. "she really left nothing for mary to do. he and mary had been persuaded to go early to their inn last night. mary had been hysterical again this morning. when he came away, she was going to walk out with captain benwick, which, he hoped, would do her good. he almost wished she had been prevailed on to come home the day before; but the truth was, that mrs harville left nothing for anybody to do." charles was to return to lyme the same afternoon, and his father had at first half a mind to go with him, but the ladies could not consent. it would be going only to multiply trouble to the others, and increase his own distress; and a much better scheme followed and was acted upon. a chaise was sent for from crewkherne, and charles conveyed back a far more useful person in the old nursery-maid of the family, one who having brought up all the children, and seen the very last, the lingering and long-petted master harry, sent to school after his brothers, was now living in her deserted nursery to mend stockings and dress all the blains and bruises she could get near her, and who, consequently, was only too happy in being allowed to go and help nurse dear miss louisa. vague wishes of getting sarah thither, had occurred before to mrs musgrove and henrietta; but without anne, it would hardly have been resolved on, and found practicable so soon. they were indebted, the next day, to charles hayter, for all the minute knowledge of louisa, which it was so essential to obtain every twenty-four hours. he made it his business to go to lyme, and his account was still encouraging. the intervals of sense and consciousness were believed to be stronger. every report agreed in captain wentworth's appearing fixed in lyme. anne was to leave them on the morrow, an event which they all dreaded. "what should they do without her? they were wretched comforters for one another." and so much was said in this way, that anne thought she could not do better than impart among them the general inclination to which she was privy, and persuaded them all to go to lyme at once. she had little difficulty; it was soon determined that they would go; go to-morrow, fix themselves at the inn, or get into lodgings, as it suited, and there remain till dear louisa could be moved. they must be taking off some trouble from the good people she was with; they might at least relieve mrs harville from the care of her own children; and in short, they were so happy in the decision, that anne was delighted with what she had done, and felt that she could not spend her last morning at uppercross better than in assisting their preparations, and sending them off at an early hour, though her being left to the solitary range of the house was the consequence. she was the last, excepting the little boys at the cottage, she was the very last, the only remaining one of all that had filled and animated both houses, of all that had given uppercross its cheerful character. a few days had made a change indeed! if louisa recovered, it would all be well again. more than former happiness would be restored. there could not be a doubt, to her mind there was none, of what would follow her recovery. a few months hence, and the room now so deserted, occupied but by her silent, pensive self, might be filled again with all that was happy and gay, all that was glowing and bright in prosperous love, all that was most unlike anne elliot! an hour's complete leisure for such reflections as these, on a dark november day, a small thick rain almost blotting out the very few objects ever to be discerned from the windows, was enough to make the sound of lady russell's carriage exceedingly welcome; and yet, though desirous to be gone, she could not quit the mansion house, or look an adieu to the cottage, with its black, dripping and comfortless veranda, or even notice through the misty glasses the last humble tenements of the village, without a saddened heart. scenes had passed in uppercross which made it precious. it stood the record of many sensations of pain, once severe, but now softened; and of some instances of relenting feeling, some breathings of friendship and reconciliation, which could never be looked for again, and which could never cease to be dear. she left it all behind her, all but the recollection that such things had been. anne had never entered kellynch since her quitting lady russell's house in september. it had not been necessary, and the few occasions of its being possible for her to go to the hall she had contrived to evade and escape from. her first return was to resume her place in the modern and elegant apartments of the lodge, and to gladden the eyes of its mistress. there was some anxiety mixed with lady russell's joy in meeting her. she knew who had been frequenting uppercross. but happily, either anne was improved in plumpness and looks, or lady russell fancied her so; and anne, in receiving her compliments on the occasion, had the amusement of connecting them with the silent admiration of her cousin, and of hoping that she was to be blessed with a second spring of youth and beauty. when they came to converse, she was soon sensible of some mental change. the subjects of which her heart had been full on leaving kellynch, and which she had felt slighted, and been compelled to smother among the musgroves, were now become but of secondary interest. she had lately lost sight even of her father and sister and bath. their concerns had been sunk under those of uppercross; and when lady russell reverted to their former hopes and fears, and spoke her satisfaction in the house in camden place, which had been taken, and her regret that mrs clay should still be with them, anne would have been ashamed to have it known how much more she was thinking of lyme and louisa musgrove, and all her acquaintance there; how much more interesting to her was the home and the friendship of the harvilles and captain benwick, than her own father's house in camden place, or her own sister's intimacy with mrs clay. she was actually forced to exert herself to meet lady russell with anything like the appearance of equal solicitude, on topics which had by nature the first claim on her. there was a little awkwardness at first in their discourse on another subject. they must speak of the accident at lyme. lady russell had not been arrived five minutes the day before, when a full account of the whole had burst on her; but still it must be talked of, she must make enquiries, she must regret the imprudence, lament the result, and captain wentworth's name must be mentioned by both. anne was conscious of not doing it so well as lady russell. she could not speak the name, and look straight forward to lady russell's eye, till she had adopted the expedient of telling her briefly what she thought of the attachment between him and louisa. when this was told, his name distressed her no longer. lady russell had only to listen composedly, and wish them happy, but internally her heart revelled in angry pleasure, in pleased contempt, that the man who at twenty-three had seemed to understand somewhat of the value of an anne elliot, should, eight years afterwards, be charmed by a louisa musgrove. the first three or four days passed most quietly, with no circumstance to mark them excepting the receipt of a note or two from lyme, which found their way to anne, she could not tell how, and brought a rather improving account of louisa. at the end of that period, lady russell's politeness could repose no longer, and the fainter self-threatenings of the past became in a decided tone, "i must call on mrs croft; i really must call upon her soon. anne, have you courage to go with me, and pay a visit in that house? it will be some trial to us both." anne did not shrink from it; on the contrary, she truly felt as she said, in observing-"i think you are very likely to suffer the most of the two; your feelings are less reconciled to the change than mine. by remaining in the neighbourhood, i am become inured to it." she could have said more on the subject; for she had in fact so high an opinion of the crofts, and considered her father so very fortunate in his tenants, felt the parish to be so sure of a good example, and the poor of the best attention and relief, that however sorry and ashamed for the necessity of the removal, she could not but in conscience feel that they were gone who deserved not to stay, and that kellynch hall had passed into better hands than its owners'. these convictions must unquestionably have their own pain, and severe was its kind; but they precluded that pain which lady russell would suffer in entering the house again, and returning through the well-known apartments. in such moments anne had no power of saying to herself, "these rooms ought to belong only to us. oh, how fallen in their destination! how unworthily occupied! an ancient family to be so driven away! strangers filling their place!" no, except when she thought of her mother, and remembered where she had been used to sit and preside, she had no sigh of that description to heave. mrs croft always met her with a kindness which gave her the pleasure of fancying herself a favourite, and on the present occasion, receiving her in that house, there was particular attention. the sad accident at lyme was soon the prevailing topic, and on comparing their latest accounts of the invalid, it appeared that each lady dated her intelligence from the same hour of yestermorn; that captain wentworth had been in kellynch yesterday (the first time since the accident), had brought anne the last note, which she had not been able to trace the exact steps of; had staid a few hours and then returned again to lyme, and without any present intention of quitting it any more. he had enquired after her, she found, particularly; had expressed his hope of miss elliot's not being the worse for her exertions, and had spoken of those exertions as great. this was handsome, and gave her more pleasure than almost anything else could have done. as to the sad catastrophe itself, it could be canvassed only in one style by a couple of steady, sensible women, whose judgements had to work on ascertained events; and it was perfectly decided that it had been the consequence of much thoughtlessness and much imprudence; that its effects were most alarming, and that it was frightful to think, how long miss musgrove's recovery might yet be doubtful, and how liable she would still remain to suffer from the concussion hereafter! the admiral wound it up summarily by exclaiming-"ay, a very bad business indeed. a new sort of way this, for a young fellow to be making love, by breaking his mistress's head, is not it, miss elliot? this is breaking a head and giving a plaster, truly!" admiral croft's manners were not quite of the tone to suit lady russell, but they delighted anne. his goodness of heart and simplicity of character were irresistible. "now, this must be very bad for you," said he, suddenly rousing from a little reverie, "to be coming and finding us here. i had not recollected it before, i declare, but it must be very bad. but now, do not stand upon ceremony. get up and go over all the rooms in the house if you like it." "another time, sir, i thank you, not now." "well, whenever it suits you. you can slip in from the shrubbery at any time; and there you will find we keep our umbrellas hanging up by that door. a good place is not it? but," (checking himself), "you will not think it a good place, for yours were always kept in the butler's room. ay, so it always is, i believe. one man's ways may be as good as another's, but we all like our own best. and so you must judge for yourself, whether it would be better for you to go about the house or not." anne, finding she might decline it, did so, very gratefully. "we have made very few changes either," continued the admiral, after thinking a moment. "very few. we told you about the laundry-door, at uppercross. that has been a very great improvement. the wonder was, how any family upon earth could bear with the inconvenience of its opening as it did, so long! you will tell sir walter what we have done, and that mr shepherd thinks it the greatest improvement the house ever had. indeed, i must do ourselves the justice to say, that the few alterations we have made have been all very much for the better. my wife should have the credit of them, however. i have done very little besides sending away some of the large looking-glasses from my dressing-room, which was your father's. a very good man, and very much the gentleman i am sure: but i should think, miss elliot," (looking with serious reflection), "i should think he must be rather a dressy man for his time of life. such a number of looking-glasses! oh lord! there was no getting away from one's self. so i got sophy to lend me a hand, and we soon shifted their quarters; and now i am quite snug, with my little shaving glass in one corner, and another great thing that i never go near." anne, amused in spite of herself, was rather distressed for an answer, and the admiral, fearing he might not have been civil enough, took up the subject again, to say-"the next time you write to your good father, miss elliot, pray give him my compliments and mrs croft's, and say that we are settled here quite to our liking, and have no fault at all to find with the place. the breakfast-room chimney smokes a little, i grant you, but it is only when the wind is due north and blows hard, which may not happen three times a winter. and take it altogether, now that we have been into most of the houses hereabouts and can judge, there is not one that we like better than this. pray say so, with my compliments. he will be glad to hear it." lady russell and mrs croft were very well pleased with each other: but the acquaintance which this visit began was fated not to proceed far at present; for when it was returned, the crofts announced themselves to be going away for a few weeks, to visit their connexions in the north of the county, and probably might not be at home again before lady russell would be removing to bath. so ended all danger to anne of meeting captain wentworth at kellynch hall, or of seeing him in company with her friend. everything was safe enough, and she smiled over the many anxious feelings she had wasted on the subject. chapter 14 though charles and mary had remained at lyme much longer after mr and mrs musgrove's going than anne conceived they could have been at all wanted, they were yet the first of the family to be at home again; and as soon as possible after their return to uppercross they drove over to the lodge. they had left louisa beginning to sit up; but her head, though clear, was exceedingly weak, and her nerves susceptible to the highest extreme of tenderness; and though she might be pronounced to be altogether doing very well, it was still impossible to say when she might be able to bear the removal home; and her father and mother, who must return in time to receive their younger children for the christmas holidays, had hardly a hope of being allowed to bring her with them. they had been all in lodgings together. mrs musgrove had got mrs harville's children away as much as she could, every possible supply from uppercross had been furnished, to lighten the inconvenience to the harvilles, while the harvilles had been wanting them to come to dinner every day; and in short, it seemed to have been only a struggle on each side as to which should be most disinterested and hospitable. mary had had her evils; but upon the whole, as was evident by her staying so long, she had found more to enjoy than to suffer. charles hayter had been at lyme oftener than suited her; and when they dined with the harvilles there had been only a maid-servant to wait, and at first mrs harville had always given mrs musgrove precedence; but then, she had received so very handsome an apology from her on finding out whose daughter she was, and there had been so much going on every day, there had been so many walks between their lodgings and the harvilles, and she had got books from the library, and changed them so often, that the balance had certainly been much in favour of lyme. she had been taken to charmouth too, and she had bathed, and she had gone to church, and there were a great many more people to look at in the church at lyme than at uppercross; and all this, joined to the sense of being so very useful, had made really an agreeable fortnight. anne enquired after captain benwick. mary's face was clouded directly. charles laughed. "oh! captain benwick is very well, i believe, but he is a very odd young man. i do not know what he would be at. we asked him to come home with us for a day or two: charles undertook to give him some shooting, and he seemed quite delighted, and, for my part, i thought it was all settled; when behold! on tuesday night, he made a very awkward sort of excuse; 'he never shot' and he had 'been quite misunderstood,' and he had promised this and he had promised that, and the end of it was, i found, that he did not mean to come. i suppose he was afraid of finding it dull; but upon my word i should have thought we were lively enough at the cottage for such a heart-broken man as captain benwick." charles laughed again and said, "now mary, you know very well how it really was. it was all your doing," (turning to anne.) "he fancied that if he went with us, he should find you close by: he fancied everybody to be living in uppercross; and when he discovered that lady russell lived three miles off, his heart failed him, and he had not courage to come. that is the fact, upon my honour. mary knows it is." but mary did not give into it very graciously, whether from not considering captain benwick entitled by birth and situation to be in love with an elliot, or from not wanting to believe anne a greater attraction to uppercross than herself, must be left to be guessed. anne's good-will, however, was not to be lessened by what she heard. she boldly acknowledged herself flattered, and continued her enquiries. "oh! he talks of you," cried charles, "in such terms--" mary interrupted him. "i declare, charles, i never heard him mention anne twice all the time i was there. i declare, anne, he never talks of you at all." "no," admitted charles, "i do not know that he ever does, in a general way; but however, it is a very clear thing that he admires you exceedingly. his head is full of some books that he is reading upon your recommendation, and he wants to talk to you about them; he has found out something or other in one of them which he thinks--oh! i cannot pretend to remember it, but it was something very fine--i overheard him telling henrietta all about it; and then 'miss elliot' was spoken of in the highest terms! now mary, i declare it was so, i heard it myself, and you were in the other room. 'elegance, sweetness, beauty.' oh! there was no end of miss elliot's charms." "and i am sure," cried mary, warmly, "it was a very little to his credit, if he did. miss harville only died last june. such a heart is very little worth having; is it, lady russell? i am sure you will agree with me." "i must see captain benwick before i decide," said lady russell, smiling. "and that you are very likely to do very soon, i can tell you, ma'am," said charles. "though he had not nerves for coming away with us, and setting off again afterwards to pay a formal visit here, he will make his way over to kellynch one day by himself, you may depend on it. i told him the distance and the road, and i told him of the church's being so very well worth seeing; for as he has a taste for those sort of things, i thought that would be a good excuse, and he listened with all his understanding and soul; and i am sure from his manner that you will have him calling here soon. so, i give you notice, lady russell." "any acquaintance of anne's will always be welcome to me," was lady russell's kind answer. "oh! as to being anne's acquaintance," said mary, "i think he is rather my acquaintance, for i have been seeing him every day this last fortnight." "well, as your joint acquaintance, then, i shall be very happy to see captain benwick." "you will not find anything very agreeable in him, i assure you, ma'am. he is one of the dullest young men that ever lived. he has walked with me, sometimes, from one end of the sands to the other, without saying a word. he is not at all a well-bred young man. i am sure you will not like him." "there we differ, mary," said anne. "i think lady russell would like him. i think she would be so much pleased with his mind, that she would very soon see no deficiency in his manner." "so do i, anne," said charles. "i am sure lady russell would like him. he is just lady russell's sort. give him a book, and he will read all day long." "yes, that he will!" exclaimed mary, tauntingly. "he will sit poring over his book, and not know when a person speaks to him, or when one drops one's scissors, or anything that happens. do you think lady russell would like that?" lady russell could not help laughing. "upon my word," said she, "i should not have supposed that my opinion of any one could have admitted of such difference of conjecture, steady and matter of fact as i may call myself. i have really a curiosity to see the person who can give occasion to such directly opposite notions. i wish he may be induced to call here. and when he does, mary, you may depend upon hearing my opinion; but i am determined not to judge him beforehand." "you will not like him, i will answer for it." lady russell began talking of something else. mary spoke with animation of their meeting with, or rather missing, mr elliot so extraordinarily. "he is a man," said lady russell, "whom i have no wish to see. his declining to be on cordial terms with the head of his family, has left a very strong impression in his disfavour with me." this decision checked mary's eagerness, and stopped her short in the midst of the elliot countenance. with regard to captain wentworth, though anne hazarded no enquiries, there was voluntary communication sufficient. his spirits had been greatly recovering lately as might be expected. as louisa improved, he had improved, and he was now quite a different creature from what he had been the first week. he had not seen louisa; and was so extremely fearful of any ill consequence to her from an interview, that he did not press for it at all; and, on the contrary, seemed to have a plan of going away for a week or ten days, till her head was stronger. he had talked of going down to plymouth for a week, and wanted to persuade captain benwick to go with him; but, as charles maintained to the last, captain benwick seemed much more disposed to ride over to kellynch. there can be no doubt that lady russell and anne were both occasionally thinking of captain benwick, from this time. lady russell could not hear the door-bell without feeling that it might be his herald; nor could anne return from any stroll of solitary indulgence in her father's grounds, or any visit of charity in the village, without wondering whether she might see him or hear of him. captain benwick came not, however. he was either less disposed for it than charles had imagined, or he was too shy; and after giving him a week's indulgence, lady russell determined him to be unworthy of the interest which he had been beginning to excite. the musgroves came back to receive their happy boys and girls from school, bringing with them mrs harville's little children, to improve the noise of uppercross, and lessen that of lyme. henrietta remained with louisa; but all the rest of the family were again in their usual quarters. lady russell and anne paid their compliments to them once, when anne could not but feel that uppercross was already quite alive again. though neither henrietta, nor louisa, nor charles hayter, nor captain wentworth were there, the room presented as strong a contrast as could be wished to the last state she had seen it in. immediately surrounding mrs musgrove were the little harvilles, whom she was sedulously guarding from the tyranny of the two children from the cottage, expressly arrived to amuse them. on one side was a table occupied by some chattering girls, cutting up silk and gold paper; and on the other were tressels and trays, bending under the weight of brawn and cold pies, where riotous boys were holding high revel; the whole completed by a roaring christmas fire, which seemed determined to be heard, in spite of all the noise of the others. charles and mary also came in, of course, during their visit, and mr musgrove made a point of paying his respects to lady russell, and sat down close to her for ten minutes, talking with a very raised voice, but from the clamour of the children on his knees, generally in vain. it was a fine family-piece. anne, judging from her own temperament, would have deemed such a domestic hurricane a bad restorative of the nerves, which louisa's illness must have so greatly shaken. but mrs musgrove, who got anne near her on purpose to thank her most cordially, again and again, for all her attentions to them, concluded a short recapitulation of what she had suffered herself by observing, with a happy glance round the room, that after all she had gone through, nothing was so likely to do her good as a little quiet cheerfulness at home. louisa was now recovering apace. her mother could even think of her being able to join their party at home, before her brothers and sisters went to school again. the harvilles had promised to come with her and stay at uppercross, whenever she returned. captain wentworth was gone, for the present, to see his brother in shropshire. "i hope i shall remember, in future," said lady russell, as soon as they were reseated in the carriage, "not to call at uppercross in the christmas holidays." everybody has their taste in noises as well as in other matters; and sounds are quite innoxious, or most distressing, by their sort rather than their quantity. when lady russell not long afterwards, was entering bath on a wet afternoon, and driving through the long course of streets from the old bridge to camden place, amidst the dash of other carriages, the heavy rumble of carts and drays, the bawling of newspapermen, muffin-men and milkmen, and the ceaseless clink of pattens, she made no complaint. no, these were noises which belonged to the winter pleasures; her spirits rose under their influence; and like mrs musgrove, she was feeling, though not saying, that after being long in the country, nothing could be so good for her as a little quiet cheerfulness. anne did not share these feelings. she persisted in a very determined, though very silent disinclination for bath; caught the first dim view of the extensive buildings, smoking in rain, without any wish of seeing them better; felt their progress through the streets to be, however disagreeable, yet too rapid; for who would be glad to see her when she arrived? and looked back, with fond regret, to the bustles of uppercross and the seclusion of kellynch. elizabeth's last letter had communicated a piece of news of some interest. mr elliot was in bath. he had called in camden place; had called a second time, a third; had been pointedly attentive. if elizabeth and her father did not deceive themselves, had been taking much pains to seek the acquaintance, and proclaim the value of the connection, as he had formerly taken pains to shew neglect. this was very wonderful if it were true; and lady russell was in a state of very agreeable curiosity and perplexity about mr elliot, already recanting the sentiment she had so lately expressed to mary, of his being "a man whom she had no wish to see." she had a great wish to see him. if he really sought to reconcile himself like a dutiful branch, he must be forgiven for having dismembered himself from the paternal tree. anne was not animated to an equal pitch by the circumstance, but she felt that she would rather see mr elliot again than not, which was more than she could say for many other persons in bath. she was put down in camden place; and lady russell then drove to her own lodgings, in rivers street. chapter 15 sir walter had taken a very good house in camden place, a lofty dignified situation, such as becomes a man of consequence; and both he and elizabeth were settled there, much to their satisfaction. anne entered it with a sinking heart, anticipating an imprisonment of many months, and anxiously saying to herself, "oh! when shall i leave you again?" a degree of unexpected cordiality, however, in the welcome she received, did her good. her father and sister were glad to see her, for the sake of shewing her the house and furniture, and met her with kindness. her making a fourth, when they sat down to dinner, was noticed as an advantage. mrs clay was very pleasant, and very smiling, but her courtesies and smiles were more a matter of course. anne had always felt that she would pretend what was proper on her arrival, but the complaisance of the others was unlooked for. they were evidently in excellent spirits, and she was soon to listen to the causes. they had no inclination to listen to her. after laying out for some compliments of being deeply regretted in their old neighbourhood, which anne could not pay, they had only a few faint enquiries to make, before the talk must be all their own. uppercross excited no interest, kellynch very little: it was all bath. they had the pleasure of assuring her that bath more than answered their expectations in every respect. their house was undoubtedly the best in camden place; their drawing-rooms had many decided advantages over all the others which they had either seen or heard of, and the superiority was not less in the style of the fitting-up, or the taste of the furniture. their acquaintance was exceedingly sought after. everybody was wanting to visit them. they had drawn back from many introductions, and still were perpetually having cards left by people of whom they knew nothing. here were funds of enjoyment. could anne wonder that her father and sister were happy? she might not wonder, but she must sigh that her father should feel no degradation in his change, should see nothing to regret in the duties and dignity of the resident landholder, should find so much to be vain of in the littlenesses of a town; and she must sigh, and smile, and wonder too, as elizabeth threw open the folding-doors and walked with exultation from one drawing-room to the other, boasting of their space; at the possibility of that woman, who had been mistress of kellynch hall, finding extent to be proud of between two walls, perhaps thirty feet asunder. but this was not all which they had to make them happy. they had mr elliot too. anne had a great deal to hear of mr elliot. he was not only pardoned, they were delighted with him. he had been in bath about a fortnight; (he had passed through bath in november, in his way to london, when the intelligence of sir walter's being settled there had of course reached him, though only twenty-four hours in the place, but he had not been able to avail himself of it;) but he had now been a fortnight in bath, and his first object on arriving, had been to leave his card in camden place, following it up by such assiduous endeavours to meet, and when they did meet, by such great openness of conduct, such readiness to apologize for the past, such solicitude to be received as a relation again, that their former good understanding was completely re-established. they had not a fault to find in him. he had explained away all the appearance of neglect on his own side. it had originated in misapprehension entirely. he had never had an idea of throwing himself off; he had feared that he was thrown off, but knew not why, and delicacy had kept him silent. upon the hint of having spoken disrespectfully or carelessly of the family and the family honours, he was quite indignant. he, who had ever boasted of being an elliot, and whose feelings, as to connection, were only too strict to suit the unfeudal tone of the present day. he was astonished, indeed, but his character and general conduct must refute it. he could refer sir walter to all who knew him; and certainly, the pains he had been taking on this, the first opportunity of reconciliation, to be restored to the footing of a relation and heir-presumptive, was a strong proof of his opinions on the subject. the circumstances of his marriage, too, were found to admit of much extenuation. this was an article not to be entered on by himself; but a very intimate friend of his, a colonel wallis, a highly respectable man, perfectly the gentleman, (and not an ill-looking man, sir walter added), who was living in very good style in marlborough buildings, and had, at his own particular request, been admitted to their acquaintance through mr elliot, had mentioned one or two things relative to the marriage, which made a material difference in the discredit of it. colonel wallis had known mr elliot long, had been well acquainted also with his wife, had perfectly understood the whole story. she was certainly not a woman of family, but well educated, accomplished, rich, and excessively in love with his friend. there had been the charm. she had sought him. without that attraction, not all her money would have tempted elliot, and sir walter was, moreover, assured of her having been a very fine woman. here was a great deal to soften the business. a very fine woman with a large fortune, in love with him! sir walter seemed to admit it as complete apology; and though elizabeth could not see the circumstance in quite so favourable a light, she allowed it be a great extenuation. mr elliot had called repeatedly, had dined with them once, evidently delighted by the distinction of being asked, for they gave no dinners in general; delighted, in short, by every proof of cousinly notice, and placing his whole happiness in being on intimate terms in camden place. anne listened, but without quite understanding it. allowances, large allowances, she knew, must be made for the ideas of those who spoke. she heard it all under embellishment. all that sounded extravagant or irrational in the progress of the reconciliation might have no origin but in the language of the relators. still, however, she had the sensation of there being something more than immediately appeared, in mr elliot's wishing, after an interval of so many years, to be well received by them. in a worldly view, he had nothing to gain by being on terms with sir walter; nothing to risk by a state of variance. in all probability he was already the richer of the two, and the kellynch estate would as surely be his hereafter as the title. a sensible man, and he had looked like a very sensible man, why should it be an object to him? she could only offer one solution; it was, perhaps, for elizabeth's sake. there might really have been a liking formerly, though convenience and accident had drawn him a different way; and now that he could afford to please himself, he might mean to pay his addresses to her. elizabeth was certainly very handsome, with well-bred, elegant manners, and her character might never have been penetrated by mr elliot, knowing her but in public, and when very young himself. how her temper and understanding might bear the investigation of his present keener time of life was another concern and rather a fearful one. most earnestly did she wish that he might not be too nice, or too observant if elizabeth were his object; and that elizabeth was disposed to believe herself so, and that her friend mrs clay was encouraging the idea, seemed apparent by a glance or two between them, while mr elliot's frequent visits were talked of. anne mentioned the glimpses she had had of him at lyme, but without being much attended to. "oh! yes, perhaps, it had been mr elliot. they did not know. it might be him, perhaps." they could not listen to her description of him. they were describing him themselves; sir walter especially. he did justice to his very gentlemanlike appearance, his air of elegance and fashion, his good shaped face, his sensible eye; but, at the same time, "must lament his being very much under-hung, a defect which time seemed to have increased; nor could he pretend to say that ten years had not altered almost every feature for the worse. mr elliot appeared to think that he (sir walter) was looking exactly as he had done when they last parted;" but sir walter had "not been able to return the compliment entirely, which had embarrassed him. he did not mean to complain, however. mr elliot was better to look at than most men, and he had no objection to being seen with him anywhere." mr elliot, and his friends in marlborough buildings, were talked of the whole evening. "colonel wallis had been so impatient to be introduced to them! and mr elliot so anxious that he should!" and there was a mrs wallis, at present known only to them by description, as she was in daily expectation of her confinement; but mr elliot spoke of her as "a most charming woman, quite worthy of being known in camden place," and as soon as she recovered they were to be acquainted. sir walter thought much of mrs wallis; she was said to be an excessively pretty woman, beautiful. "he longed to see her. he hoped she might make some amends for the many very plain faces he was continually passing in the streets. the worst of bath was the number of its plain women. he did not mean to say that there were no pretty women, but the number of the plain was out of all proportion. he had frequently observed, as he walked, that one handsome face would be followed by thirty, or five-and-thirty frights; and once, as he had stood in a shop on bond street, he had counted eighty-seven women go by, one after another, without there being a tolerable face among them. it had been a frosty morning, to be sure, a sharp frost, which hardly one woman in a thousand could stand the test of. but still, there certainly were a dreadful multitude of ugly women in bath; and as for the men! they were infinitely worse. such scarecrows as the streets were full of! it was evident how little the women were used to the sight of anything tolerable, by the effect which a man of decent appearance produced. he had never walked anywhere arm-in-arm with colonel wallis (who was a fine military figure, though sandy-haired) without observing that every woman's eye was upon him; every woman's eye was sure to be upon colonel wallis." modest sir walter! he was not allowed to escape, however. his daughter and mrs clay united in hinting that colonel wallis's companion might have as good a figure as colonel wallis, and certainly was not sandy-haired. "how is mary looking?" said sir walter, in the height of his good humour. "the last time i saw her she had a red nose, but i hope that may not happen every day." "oh! no, that must have been quite accidental. in general she has been in very good health and very good looks since michaelmas." "if i thought it would not tempt her to go out in sharp winds, and grow coarse, i would send her a new hat and pelisse." anne was considering whether she should venture to suggest that a gown, or a cap, would not be liable to any such misuse, when a knock at the door suspended everything. "a knock at the door! and so late! it was ten o'clock. could it be mr elliot? they knew he was to dine in lansdown crescent. it was possible that he might stop in his way home to ask them how they did. they could think of no one else. mrs clay decidedly thought it mr elliot's knock." mrs clay was right. with all the state which a butler and foot-boy could give, mr elliot was ushered into the room. it was the same, the very same man, with no difference but of dress. anne drew a little back, while the others received his compliments, and her sister his apologies for calling at so unusual an hour, but "he could not be so near without wishing to know that neither she nor her friend had taken cold the day before," &c. &c; which was all as politely done, and as politely taken, as possible, but her part must follow then. sir walter talked of his youngest daughter; "mr elliot must give him leave to present him to his youngest daughter" (there was no occasion for remembering mary); and anne, smiling and blushing, very becomingly shewed to mr elliot the pretty features which he had by no means forgotten, and instantly saw, with amusement at his little start of surprise, that he had not been at all aware of who she was. he looked completely astonished, but not more astonished than pleased; his eyes brightened! and with the most perfect alacrity he welcomed the relationship, alluded to the past, and entreated to be received as an acquaintance already. he was quite as good-looking as he had appeared at lyme, his countenance improved by speaking, and his manners were so exactly what they ought to be, so polished, so easy, so particularly agreeable, that she could compare them in excellence to only one person's manners. they were not the same, but they were, perhaps, equally good. he sat down with them, and improved their conversation very much. there could be no doubt of his being a sensible man. ten minutes were enough to certify that. his tone, his expressions, his choice of subject, his knowing where to stop; it was all the operation of a sensible, discerning mind. as soon as he could, he began to talk to her of lyme, wanting to compare opinions respecting the place, but especially wanting to speak of the circumstance of their happening to be guests in the same inn at the same time; to give his own route, understand something of hers, and regret that he should have lost such an opportunity of paying his respects to her. she gave him a short account of her party and business at lyme. his regret increased as he listened. he had spent his whole solitary evening in the room adjoining theirs; had heard voices, mirth continually; thought they must be a most delightful set of people, longed to be with them, but certainly without the smallest suspicion of his possessing the shadow of a right to introduce himself. if he had but asked who the party were! the name of musgrove would have told him enough. "well, it would serve to cure him of an absurd practice of never asking a question at an inn, which he had adopted, when quite a young man, on the principal of its being very ungenteel to be curious. "the notions of a young man of one or two and twenty," said he, "as to what is necessary in manners to make him quite the thing, are more absurd, i believe, than those of any other set of beings in the world. the folly of the means they often employ is only to be equalled by the folly of what they have in view." but he must not be addressing his reflections to anne alone: he knew it; he was soon diffused again among the others, and it was only at intervals that he could return to lyme. his enquiries, however, produced at length an account of the scene she had been engaged in there, soon after his leaving the place. having alluded to "an accident," he must hear the whole. when he questioned, sir walter and elizabeth began to question also, but the difference in their manner of doing it could not be unfelt. she could only compare mr elliot to lady russell, in the wish of really comprehending what had passed, and in the degree of concern for what she must have suffered in witnessing it. he staid an hour with them. the elegant little clock on the mantel-piece had struck "eleven with its silver sounds," and the watchman was beginning to be heard at a distance telling the same tale, before mr elliot or any of them seemed to feel that he had been there long. anne could not have supposed it possible that her first evening in camden place could have passed so well! chapter 16 there was one point which anne, on returning to her family, would have been more thankful to ascertain even than mr elliot's being in love with elizabeth, which was, her father's not being in love with mrs clay; and she was very far from easy about it, when she had been at home a few hours. on going down to breakfast the next morning, she found there had just been a decent pretence on the lady's side of meaning to leave them. she could imagine mrs clay to have said, that "now miss anne was come, she could not suppose herself at all wanted;" for elizabeth was replying in a sort of whisper, "that must not be any reason, indeed. i assure you i feel it none. she is nothing to me, compared with you;" and she was in full time to hear her father say, "my dear madam, this must not be. as yet, you have seen nothing of bath. you have been here only to be useful. you must not run away from us now. you must stay to be acquainted with mrs wallis, the beautiful mrs wallis. to your fine mind, i well know the sight of beauty is a real gratification." he spoke and looked so much in earnest, that anne was not surprised to see mrs clay stealing a glance at elizabeth and herself. her countenance, perhaps, might express some watchfulness; but the praise of the fine mind did not appear to excite a thought in her sister. the lady could not but yield to such joint entreaties, and promise to stay. in the course of the same morning, anne and her father chancing to be alone together, he began to compliment her on her improved looks; he thought her "less thin in her person, in her cheeks; her skin, her complexion, greatly improved; clearer, fresher. had she been using any thing in particular?" "no, nothing." "merely gowland," he supposed. "no, nothing at all." "ha! he was surprised at that;" and added, "certainly you cannot do better than to continue as you are; you cannot be better than well; or i should recommend gowland, the constant use of gowland, during the spring months. mrs clay has been using it at my recommendation, and you see what it has done for her. you see how it has carried away her freckles." if elizabeth could but have heard this! such personal praise might have struck her, especially as it did not appear to anne that the freckles were at all lessened. but everything must take its chance. the evil of a marriage would be much diminished, if elizabeth were also to marry. as for herself, she might always command a home with lady russell. lady russell's composed mind and polite manners were put to some trial on this point, in her intercourse in camden place. the sight of mrs clay in such favour, and of anne so overlooked, was a perpetual provocation to her there; and vexed her as much when she was away, as a person in bath who drinks the water, gets all the new publications, and has a very large acquaintance, has time to be vexed. as mr elliot became known to her, she grew more charitable, or more indifferent, towards the others. his manners were an immediate recommendation; and on conversing with him she found the solid so fully supporting the superficial, that she was at first, as she told anne, almost ready to exclaim, "can this be mr elliot?" and could not seriously picture to herself a more agreeable or estimable man. everything united in him; good understanding, correct opinions, knowledge of the world, and a warm heart. he had strong feelings of family attachment and family honour, without pride or weakness; he lived with the liberality of a man of fortune, without display; he judged for himself in everything essential, without defying public opinion in any point of worldly decorum. he was steady, observant, moderate, candid; never run away with by spirits or by selfishness, which fancied itself strong feeling; and yet, with a sensibility to what was amiable and lovely, and a value for all the felicities of domestic life, which characters of fancied enthusiasm and violent agitation seldom really possess. she was sure that he had not been happy in marriage. colonel wallis said it, and lady russell saw it; but it had been no unhappiness to sour his mind, nor (she began pretty soon to suspect) to prevent his thinking of a second choice. her satisfaction in mr elliot outweighed all the plague of mrs clay. it was now some years since anne had begun to learn that she and her excellent friend could sometimes think differently; and it did not surprise her, therefore, that lady russell should see nothing suspicious or inconsistent, nothing to require more motives than appeared, in mr elliot's great desire of a reconciliation. in lady russell's view, it was perfectly natural that mr elliot, at a mature time of life, should feel it a most desirable object, and what would very generally recommend him among all sensible people, to be on good terms with the head of his family; the simplest process in the world of time upon a head naturally clear, and only erring in the heyday of youth. anne presumed, however, still to smile about it, and at last to mention "elizabeth." lady russell listened, and looked, and made only this cautious reply:--"elizabeth! very well; time will explain." it was a reference to the future, which anne, after a little observation, felt she must submit to. she could determine nothing at present. in that house elizabeth must be first; and she was in the habit of such general observance as "miss elliot," that any particularity of attention seemed almost impossible. mr elliot, too, it must be remembered, had not been a widower seven months. a little delay on his side might be very excusable. in fact, anne could never see the crape round his hat, without fearing that she was the inexcusable one, in attributing to him such imaginations; for though his marriage had not been very happy, still it had existed so many years that she could not comprehend a very rapid recovery from the awful impression of its being dissolved. however it might end, he was without any question their pleasantest acquaintance in bath: she saw nobody equal to him; and it was a great indulgence now and then to talk to him about lyme, which he seemed to have as lively a wish to see again, and to see more of, as herself. they went through the particulars of their first meeting a great many times. he gave her to understand that he had looked at her with some earnestness. she knew it well; and she remembered another person's look also. they did not always think alike. his value for rank and connexion she perceived was greater than hers. it was not merely complaisance, it must be a liking to the cause, which made him enter warmly into her father and sister's solicitudes on a subject which she thought unworthy to excite them. the bath paper one morning announced the arrival of the dowager viscountess dalrymple, and her daughter, the honourable miss carteret; and all the comfort of no. --, camden place, was swept away for many days; for the dalrymples (in anne's opinion, most unfortunately) were cousins of the elliots; and the agony was how to introduce themselves properly. anne had never seen her father and sister before in contact with nobility, and she must acknowledge herself disappointed. she had hoped better things from their high ideas of their own situation in life, and was reduced to form a wish which she had never foreseen; a wish that they had more pride; for "our cousins lady dalrymple and miss carteret;" "our cousins, the dalrymples," sounded in her ears all day long. sir walter had once been in company with the late viscount, but had never seen any of the rest of the family; and the difficulties of the case arose from there having been a suspension of all intercourse by letters of ceremony, ever since the death of that said late viscount, when, in consequence of a dangerous illness of sir walter's at the same time, there had been an unlucky omission at kellynch. no letter of condolence had been sent to ireland. the neglect had been visited on the head of the sinner; for when poor lady elliot died herself, no letter of condolence was received at kellynch, and, consequently, there was but too much reason to apprehend that the dalrymples considered the relationship as closed. how to have this anxious business set to rights, and be admitted as cousins again, was the question: and it was a question which, in a more rational manner, neither lady russell nor mr elliot thought unimportant. "family connexions were always worth preserving, good company always worth seeking; lady dalrymple had taken a house, for three months, in laura place, and would be living in style. she had been at bath the year before, and lady russell had heard her spoken of as a charming woman. it was very desirable that the connexion should be renewed, if it could be done, without any compromise of propriety on the side of the elliots." sir walter, however, would choose his own means, and at last wrote a very fine letter of ample explanation, regret, and entreaty, to his right honourable cousin. neither lady russell nor mr elliot could admire the letter; but it did all that was wanted, in bringing three lines of scrawl from the dowager viscountess. "she was very much honoured, and should be happy in their acquaintance." the toils of the business were over, the sweets began. they visited in laura place, they had the cards of dowager viscountess dalrymple, and the honourable miss carteret, to be arranged wherever they might be most visible: and "our cousins in laura place,"--"our cousin, lady dalrymple and miss carteret," were talked of to everybody. anne was ashamed. had lady dalrymple and her daughter even been very agreeable, she would still have been ashamed of the agitation they created, but they were nothing. there was no superiority of manner, accomplishment, or understanding. lady dalrymple had acquired the name of "a charming woman," because she had a smile and a civil answer for everybody. miss carteret, with still less to say, was so plain and so awkward, that she would never have been tolerated in camden place but for her birth. lady russell confessed she had expected something better; but yet "it was an acquaintance worth having;" and when anne ventured to speak her opinion of them to mr elliot, he agreed to their being nothing in themselves, but still maintained that, as a family connexion, as good company, as those who would collect good company around them, they had their value. anne smiled and said, "my idea of good company, mr elliot, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what i call good company." "you are mistaken," said he gently, "that is not good company; that is the best. good company requires only birth, education, and manners, and with regard to education is not very nice. birth and good manners are essential; but a little learning is by no means a dangerous thing in good company; on the contrary, it will do very well. my cousin anne shakes her head. she is not satisfied. she is fastidious. my dear cousin" (sitting down by her), "you have a better right to be fastidious than almost any other woman i know; but will it answer? will it make you happy? will it not be wiser to accept the society of those good ladies in laura place, and enjoy all the advantages of the connexion as far as possible? you may depend upon it, that they will move in the first set in bath this winter, and as rank is rank, your being known to be related to them will have its use in fixing your family (our family let me say) in that degree of consideration which we must all wish for." "yes," sighed anne, "we shall, indeed, be known to be related to them!" then recollecting herself, and not wishing to be answered, she added, "i certainly do think there has been by far too much trouble taken to procure the acquaintance. i suppose" (smiling) "i have more pride than any of you; but i confess it does vex me, that we should be so solicitous to have the relationship acknowledged, which we may be very sure is a matter of perfect indifference to them." "pardon me, dear cousin, you are unjust in your own claims. in london, perhaps, in your present quiet style of living, it might be as you say: but in bath; sir walter elliot and his family will always be worth knowing: always acceptable as acquaintance." "well," said anne, "i certainly am proud, too proud to enjoy a welcome which depends so entirely upon place." "i love your indignation," said he; "it is very natural. but here you are in bath, and the object is to be established here with all the credit and dignity which ought to belong to sir walter elliot. you talk of being proud; i am called proud, i know, and i shall not wish to believe myself otherwise; for our pride, if investigated, would have the same object, i have no doubt, though the kind may seem a little different. in one point, i am sure, my dear cousin," (he continued, speaking lower, though there was no one else in the room) "in one point, i am sure, we must feel alike. we must feel that every addition to your father's society, among his equals or superiors, may be of use in diverting his thoughts from those who are beneath him." he looked, as he spoke, to the seat which mrs clay had been lately occupying: a sufficient explanation of what he particularly meant; and though anne could not believe in their having the same sort of pride, she was pleased with him for not liking mrs clay; and her conscience admitted that his wishing to promote her father's getting great acquaintance was more than excusable in the view of defeating her. chapter 17 while sir walter and elizabeth were assiduously pushing their good fortune in laura place, anne was renewing an acquaintance of a very different description. she had called on her former governess, and had heard from her of there being an old school-fellow in bath, who had the two strong claims on her attention of past kindness and present suffering. miss hamilton, now mrs smith, had shewn her kindness in one of those periods of her life when it had been most valuable. anne had gone unhappy to school, grieving for the loss of a mother whom she had dearly loved, feeling her separation from home, and suffering as a girl of fourteen, of strong sensibility and not high spirits, must suffer at such a time; and miss hamilton, three years older than herself, but still from the want of near relations and a settled home, remaining another year at school, had been useful and good to her in a way which had considerably lessened her misery, and could never be remembered with indifference. miss hamilton had left school, had married not long afterwards, was said to have married a man of fortune, and this was all that anne had known of her, till now that their governess's account brought her situation forward in a more decided but very different form. she was a widow and poor. her husband had been extravagant; and at his death, about two years before, had left his affairs dreadfully involved. she had had difficulties of every sort to contend with, and in addition to these distresses had been afflicted with a severe rheumatic fever, which, finally settling in her legs, had made her for the present a cripple. she had come to bath on that account, and was now in lodgings near the hot baths, living in a very humble way, unable even to afford herself the comfort of a servant, and of course almost excluded from society. their mutual friend answered for the satisfaction which a visit from miss elliot would give mrs smith, and anne therefore lost no time in going. she mentioned nothing of what she had heard, or what she intended, at home. it would excite no proper interest there. she only consulted lady russell, who entered thoroughly into her sentiments, and was most happy to convey her as near to mrs smith's lodgings in westgate buildings, as anne chose to be taken. the visit was paid, their acquaintance re-established, their interest in each other more than re-kindled. the first ten minutes had its awkwardness and its emotion. twelve years were gone since they had parted, and each presented a somewhat different person from what the other had imagined. twelve years had changed anne from the blooming, silent, unformed girl of fifteen, to the elegant little woman of seven-and-twenty, with every beauty except bloom, and with manners as consciously right as they were invariably gentle; and twelve years had transformed the fine-looking, well-grown miss hamilton, in all the glow of health and confidence of superiority, into a poor, infirm, helpless widow, receiving the visit of her former protegee as a favour; but all that was uncomfortable in the meeting had soon passed away, and left only the interesting charm of remembering former partialities and talking over old times. anne found in mrs smith the good sense and agreeable manners which she had almost ventured to depend on, and a disposition to converse and be cheerful beyond her expectation. neither the dissipations of the past--and she had lived very much in the world--nor the restrictions of the present, neither sickness nor sorrow seemed to have closed her heart or ruined her spirits. in the course of a second visit she talked with great openness, and anne's astonishment increased. she could scarcely imagine a more cheerless situation in itself than mrs smith's. she had been very fond of her husband: she had buried him. she had been used to affluence: it was gone. she had no child to connect her with life and happiness again, no relations to assist in the arrangement of perplexed affairs, no health to make all the rest supportable. her accommodations were limited to a noisy parlour, and a dark bedroom behind, with no possibility of moving from one to the other without assistance, which there was only one servant in the house to afford, and she never quitted the house but to be conveyed into the warm bath. yet, in spite of all this, anne had reason to believe that she had moments only of languor and depression, to hours of occupation and enjoyment. how could it be? she watched, observed, reflected, and finally determined that this was not a case of fortitude or of resignation only. a submissive spirit might be patient, a strong understanding would supply resolution, but here was something more; here was that elasticity of mind, that disposition to be comforted, that power of turning readily from evil to good, and of finding employment which carried her out of herself, which was from nature alone. it was the choicest gift of heaven; and anne viewed her friend as one of those instances in which, by a merciful appointment, it seems designed to counterbalance almost every other want. there had been a time, mrs smith told her, when her spirits had nearly failed. she could not call herself an invalid now, compared with her state on first reaching bath. then she had, indeed, been a pitiable object; for she had caught cold on the journey, and had hardly taken possession of her lodgings before she was again confined to her bed and suffering under severe and constant pain; and all this among strangers, with the absolute necessity of having a regular nurse, and finances at that moment particularly unfit to meet any extraordinary expense. she had weathered it, however, and could truly say that it had done her good. it had increased her comforts by making her feel herself to be in good hands. she had seen too much of the world, to expect sudden or disinterested attachment anywhere, but her illness had proved to her that her landlady had a character to preserve, and would not use her ill; and she had been particularly fortunate in her nurse, as a sister of her landlady, a nurse by profession, and who had always a home in that house when unemployed, chanced to be at liberty just in time to attend her. "and she," said mrs smith, "besides nursing me most admirably, has really proved an invaluable acquaintance. as soon as i could use my hands she taught me to knit, which has been a great amusement; and she put me in the way of making these little thread-cases, pin-cushions and card-racks, which you always find me so busy about, and which supply me with the means of doing a little good to one or two very poor families in this neighbourhood. she had a large acquaintance, of course professionally, among those who can afford to buy, and she disposes of my merchandise. she always takes the right time for applying. everybody's heart is open, you know, when they have recently escaped from severe pain, or are recovering the blessing of health, and nurse rooke thoroughly understands when to speak. she is a shrewd, intelligent, sensible woman. hers is a line for seeing human nature; and she has a fund of good sense and observation, which, as a companion, make her infinitely superior to thousands of those who having only received 'the best education in the world,' know nothing worth attending to. call it gossip, if you will, but when nurse rooke has half an hour's leisure to bestow on me, she is sure to have something to relate that is entertaining and profitable: something that makes one know one's species better. one likes to hear what is going on, to be au fait as to the newest modes of being trifling and silly. to me, who live so much alone, her conversation, i assure you, is a treat." anne, far from wishing to cavil at the pleasure, replied, "i can easily believe it. women of that class have great opportunities, and if they are intelligent may be well worth listening to. such varieties of human nature as they are in the habit of witnessing! and it is not merely in its follies, that they are well read; for they see it occasionally under every circumstance that can be most interesting or affecting. what instances must pass before them of ardent, disinterested, self-denying attachment, of heroism, fortitude, patience, resignation: of all the conflicts and all the sacrifices that ennoble us most. a sick chamber may often furnish the worth of volumes." "yes," said mrs smith more doubtingly, "sometimes it may, though i fear its lessons are not often in the elevated style you describe. here and there, human nature may be great in times of trial; but generally speaking, it is its weakness and not its strength that appears in a sick chamber: it is selfishness and impatience rather than generosity and fortitude, that one hears of. there is so little real friendship in the world! and unfortunately" (speaking low and tremulously) "there are so many who forget to think seriously till it is almost too late." anne saw the misery of such feelings. the husband had not been what he ought, and the wife had been led among that part of mankind which made her think worse of the world than she hoped it deserved. it was but a passing emotion however with mrs smith; she shook it off, and soon added in a different tone-"i do not suppose the situation my friend mrs rooke is in at present, will furnish much either to interest or edify me. she is only nursing mrs wallis of marlborough buildings; a mere pretty, silly, expensive, fashionable woman, i believe; and of course will have nothing to report but of lace and finery. i mean to make my profit of mrs wallis, however. she has plenty of money, and i intend she shall buy all the high-priced things i have in hand now." anne had called several times on her friend, before the existence of such a person was known in camden place. at last, it became necessary to speak of her. sir walter, elizabeth and mrs clay, returned one morning from laura place, with a sudden invitation from lady dalrymple for the same evening, and anne was already engaged, to spend that evening in westgate buildings. she was not sorry for the excuse. they were only asked, she was sure, because lady dalrymple being kept at home by a bad cold, was glad to make use of the relationship which had been so pressed on her; and she declined on her own account with great alacrity--"she was engaged to spend the evening with an old schoolfellow." they were not much interested in anything relative to anne; but still there were questions enough asked, to make it understood what this old schoolfellow was; and elizabeth was disdainful, and sir walter severe. "westgate buildings!" said he, "and who is miss anne elliot to be visiting in westgate buildings? a mrs smith. a widow mrs smith; and who was her husband? one of five thousand mr smiths whose names are to be met with everywhere. and what is her attraction? that she is old and sickly. upon my word, miss anne elliot, you have the most extraordinary taste! everything that revolts other people, low company, paltry rooms, foul air, disgusting associations are inviting to you. but surely you may put off this old lady till to-morrow: she is not so near her end, i presume, but that she may hope to see another day. what is her age? forty?" "no, sir, she is not one-and-thirty; but i do not think i can put off my engagement, because it is the only evening for some time which will at once suit her and myself. she goes into the warm bath to-morrow, and for the rest of the week, you know, we are engaged." "but what does lady russell think of this acquaintance?" asked elizabeth. "she sees nothing to blame in it," replied anne; "on the contrary, she approves it, and has generally taken me when i have called on mrs smith." "westgate buildings must have been rather surprised by the appearance of a carriage drawn up near its pavement," observed sir walter. "sir henry russell's widow, indeed, has no honours to distinguish her arms, but still it is a handsome equipage, and no doubt is well known to convey a miss elliot. a widow mrs smith lodging in westgate buildings! a poor widow barely able to live, between thirty and forty; a mere mrs smith, an every-day mrs smith, of all people and all names in the world, to be the chosen friend of miss anne elliot, and to be preferred by her to her own family connections among the nobility of england and ireland! mrs smith! such a name!" mrs clay, who had been present while all this passed, now thought it advisable to leave the room, and anne could have said much, and did long to say a little in defence of her friend's not very dissimilar claims to theirs, but her sense of personal respect to her father prevented her. she made no reply. she left it to himself to recollect, that mrs smith was not the only widow in bath between thirty and forty, with little to live on, and no surname of dignity. anne kept her appointment; the others kept theirs, and of course she heard the next morning that they had had a delightful evening. she had been the only one of the set absent, for sir walter and elizabeth had not only been quite at her ladyship's service themselves, but had actually been happy to be employed by her in collecting others, and had been at the trouble of inviting both lady russell and mr elliot; and mr elliot had made a point of leaving colonel wallis early, and lady russell had fresh arranged all her evening engagements in order to wait on her. anne had the whole history of all that such an evening could supply from lady russell. to her, its greatest interest must be, in having been very much talked of between her friend and mr elliot; in having been wished for, regretted, and at the same time honoured for staying away in such a cause. her kind, compassionate visits to this old schoolfellow, sick and reduced, seemed to have quite delighted mr elliot. he thought her a most extraordinary young woman; in her temper, manners, mind, a model of female excellence. he could meet even lady russell in a discussion of her merits; and anne could not be given to understand so much by her friend, could not know herself to be so highly rated by a sensible man, without many of those agreeable sensations which her friend meant to create. lady russell was now perfectly decided in her opinion of mr elliot. she was as much convinced of his meaning to gain anne in time as of his deserving her, and was beginning to calculate the number of weeks which would free him from all the remaining restraints of widowhood, and leave him at liberty to exert his most open powers of pleasing. she would not speak to anne with half the certainty she felt on the subject, she would venture on little more than hints of what might be hereafter, of a possible attachment on his side, of the desirableness of the alliance, supposing such attachment to be real and returned. anne heard her, and made no violent exclamations; she only smiled, blushed, and gently shook her head. "i am no match-maker, as you well know," said lady russell, "being much too well aware of the uncertainty of all human events and calculations. i only mean that if mr elliot should some time hence pay his addresses to you, and if you should be disposed to accept him, i think there would be every possibility of your being happy together. a most suitable connection everybody must consider it, but i think it might be a very happy one." "mr elliot is an exceedingly agreeable man, and in many respects i think highly of him," said anne; "but we should not suit." lady russell let this pass, and only said in rejoinder, "i own that to be able to regard you as the future mistress of kellynch, the future lady elliot, to look forward and see you occupying your dear mother's place, succeeding to all her rights, and all her popularity, as well as to all her virtues, would be the highest possible gratification to me. you are your mother's self in countenance and disposition; and if i might be allowed to fancy you such as she was, in situation and name, and home, presiding and blessing in the same spot, and only superior to her in being more highly valued! my dearest anne, it would give me more delight than is often felt at my time of life!" anne was obliged to turn away, to rise, to walk to a distant table, and, leaning there in pretended employment, try to subdue the feelings this picture excited. for a few moments her imagination and her heart were bewitched. the idea of becoming what her mother had been; of having the precious name of "lady elliot" first revived in herself; of being restored to kellynch, calling it her home again, her home for ever, was a charm which she could not immediately resist. lady russell said not another word, willing to leave the matter to its own operation; and believing that, could mr elliot at that moment with propriety have spoken for himself!--she believed, in short, what anne did not believe. the same image of mr elliot speaking for himself brought anne to composure again. the charm of kellynch and of "lady elliot" all faded away. she never could accept him. and it was not only that her feelings were still adverse to any man save one; her judgement, on a serious consideration of the possibilities of such a case was against mr elliot. though they had now been acquainted a month, she could not be satisfied that she really knew his character. that he was a sensible man, an agreeable man, that he talked well, professed good opinions, seemed to judge properly and as a man of principle, this was all clear enough. he certainly knew what was right, nor could she fix on any one article of moral duty evidently transgressed; but yet she would have been afraid to answer for his conduct. she distrusted the past, if not the present. the names which occasionally dropt of former associates, the allusions to former practices and pursuits, suggested suspicions not favourable of what he had been. she saw that there had been bad habits; that sunday travelling had been a common thing; that there had been a period of his life (and probably not a short one) when he had been, at least, careless in all serious matters; and, though he might now think very differently, who could answer for the true sentiments of a clever, cautious man, grown old enough to appreciate a fair character? how could it ever be ascertained that his mind was truly cleansed? mr elliot was rational, discreet, polished, but he was not open. there was never any burst of feeling, any warmth of indignation or delight, at the evil or good of others. this, to anne, was a decided imperfection. her early impressions were incurable. she prized the frank, the open-hearted, the eager character beyond all others. warmth and enthusiasm did captivate her still. she felt that she could so much more depend upon the sincerity of those who sometimes looked or said a careless or a hasty thing, than of those whose presence of mind never varied, whose tongue never slipped. mr elliot was too generally agreeable. various as were the tempers in her father's house, he pleased them all. he endured too well, stood too well with every body. he had spoken to her with some degree of openness of mrs clay; had appeared completely to see what mrs clay was about, and to hold her in contempt; and yet mrs clay found him as agreeable as any body. lady russell saw either less or more than her young friend, for she saw nothing to excite distrust. she could not imagine a man more exactly what he ought to be than mr elliot; nor did she ever enjoy a sweeter feeling than the hope of seeing him receive the hand of her beloved anne in kellynch church, in the course of the following autumn. chapter 18 it was the beginning of february; and anne, having been a month in bath, was growing very eager for news from uppercross and lyme. she wanted to hear much more than mary had communicated. it was three weeks since she had heard at all. she only knew that henrietta was at home again; and that louisa, though considered to be recovering fast, was still in lyme; and she was thinking of them all very intently one evening, when a thicker letter than usual from mary was delivered to her; and, to quicken the pleasure and surprise, with admiral and mrs croft's compliments. the crofts must be in bath! a circumstance to interest her. they were people whom her heart turned to very naturally. "what is this?" cried sir walter. "the crofts have arrived in bath? the crofts who rent kellynch? what have they brought you?" "a letter from uppercross cottage, sir." "oh! those letters are convenient passports. they secure an introduction. i should have visited admiral croft, however, at any rate. i know what is due to my tenant." anne could listen no longer; she could not even have told how the poor admiral's complexion escaped; her letter engrossed her. it had been begun several days back. "february 1st. "my dear anne,--i make no apology for my silence, because i know how little people think of letters in such a place as bath. you must be a great deal too happy to care for uppercross, which, as you well know, affords little to write about. we have had a very dull christmas; mr and mrs musgrove have not had one dinner party all the holidays. i do not reckon the hayters as anybody. the holidays, however, are over at last: i believe no children ever had such long ones. i am sure i had not. the house was cleared yesterday, except of the little harvilles; but you will be surprised to hear they have never gone home. mrs harville must be an odd mother to part with them so long. i do not understand it. they are not at all nice children, in my opinion; but mrs musgrove seems to like them quite as well, if not better, than her grandchildren. what dreadful weather we have had! it may not be felt in bath, with your nice pavements; but in the country it is of some consequence. i have not had a creature call on me since the second week in january, except charles hayter, who had been calling much oftener than was welcome. between ourselves, i think it a great pity henrietta did not remain at lyme as long as louisa; it would have kept her a little out of his way. the carriage is gone to-day, to bring louisa and the harvilles to-morrow. we are not asked to dine with them, however, till the day after, mrs musgrove is so afraid of her being fatigued by the journey, which is not very likely, considering the care that will be taken of her; and it would be much more convenient to me to dine there to-morrow. i am glad you find mr elliot so agreeable, and wish i could be acquainted with him too; but i have my usual luck: i am always out of the way when any thing desirable is going on; always the last of my family to be noticed. what an immense time mrs clay has been staying with elizabeth! does she never mean to go away? but perhaps if she were to leave the room vacant, we might not be invited. let me know what you think of this. i do not expect my children to be asked, you know. i can leave them at the great house very well, for a month or six weeks. i have this moment heard that the crofts are going to bath almost immediately; they think the admiral gouty. charles heard it quite by chance; they have not had the civility to give me any notice, or of offering to take anything. i do not think they improve at all as neighbours. we see nothing of them, and this is really an instance of gross inattention. charles joins me in love, and everything proper. yours affectionately, "mary m---. "i am sorry to say that i am very far from well; and jemima has just told me that the butcher says there is a bad sore-throat very much about. i dare say i shall catch it; and my sore-throats, you know, are always worse than anybody's." so ended the first part, which had been afterwards put into an envelope, containing nearly as much more. "i kept my letter open, that i might send you word how louisa bore her journey, and now i am extremely glad i did, having a great deal to add. in the first place, i had a note from mrs croft yesterday, offering to convey anything to you; a very kind, friendly note indeed, addressed to me, just as it ought; i shall therefore be able to make my letter as long as i like. the admiral does not seem very ill, and i sincerely hope bath will do him all the good he wants. i shall be truly glad to have them back again. our neighbourhood cannot spare such a pleasant family. but now for louisa. i have something to communicate that will astonish you not a little. she and the harvilles came on tuesday very safely, and in the evening we went to ask her how she did, when we were rather surprised not to find captain benwick of the party, for he had been invited as well as the harvilles; and what do you think was the reason? neither more nor less than his being in love with louisa, and not choosing to venture to uppercross till he had had an answer from mr musgrove; for it was all settled between him and her before she came away, and he had written to her father by captain harville. true, upon my honour! are not you astonished? i shall be surprised at least if you ever received a hint of it, for i never did. mrs musgrove protests solemnly that she knew nothing of the matter. we are all very well pleased, however, for though it is not equal to her marrying captain wentworth, it is infinitely better than charles hayter; and mr musgrove has written his consent, and captain benwick is expected to-day. mrs harville says her husband feels a good deal on his poor sister's account; but, however, louisa is a great favourite with both. indeed, mrs harville and i quite agree that we love her the better for having nursed her. charles wonders what captain wentworth will say; but if you remember, i never thought him attached to louisa; i never could see anything of it. and this is the end, you see, of captain benwick's being supposed to be an admirer of yours. how charles could take such a thing into his head was always incomprehensible to me. i hope he will be more agreeable now. certainly not a great match for louisa musgrove, but a million times better than marrying among the hayters." mary need not have feared her sister's being in any degree prepared for the news. she had never in her life been more astonished. captain benwick and louisa musgrove! it was almost too wonderful for belief, and it was with the greatest effort that she could remain in the room, preserve an air of calmness, and answer the common questions of the moment. happily for her, they were not many. sir walter wanted to know whether the crofts travelled with four horses, and whether they were likely to be situated in such a part of bath as it might suit miss elliot and himself to visit in; but had little curiosity beyond. "how is mary?" said elizabeth; and without waiting for an answer, "and pray what brings the crofts to bath?" "they come on the admiral's account. he is thought to be gouty." "gout and decrepitude!" said sir walter. "poor old gentleman." "have they any acquaintance here?" asked elizabeth. "i do not know; but i can hardly suppose that, at admiral croft's time of life, and in his profession, he should not have many acquaintance in such a place as this." "i suspect," said sir walter coolly, "that admiral croft will be best known in bath as the renter of kellynch hall. elizabeth, may we venture to present him and his wife in laura place?" "oh, no! i think not. situated as we are with lady dalrymple, cousins, we ought to be very careful not to embarrass her with acquaintance she might not approve. if we were not related, it would not signify; but as cousins, she would feel scrupulous as to any proposal of ours. we had better leave the crofts to find their own level. there are several odd-looking men walking about here, who, i am told, are sailors. the crofts will associate with them." this was sir walter and elizabeth's share of interest in the letter; when mrs clay had paid her tribute of more decent attention, in an enquiry after mrs charles musgrove, and her fine little boys, anne was at liberty. in her own room, she tried to comprehend it. well might charles wonder how captain wentworth would feel! perhaps he had quitted the field, had given louisa up, had ceased to love, had found he did not love her. she could not endure the idea of treachery or levity, or anything akin to ill usage between him and his friend. she could not endure that such a friendship as theirs should be severed unfairly. captain benwick and louisa musgrove! the high-spirited, joyous-talking louisa musgrove, and the dejected, thinking, feeling, reading, captain benwick, seemed each of them everything that would not suit the other. their minds most dissimilar! where could have been the attraction? the answer soon presented itself. it had been in situation. they had been thrown together several weeks; they had been living in the same small family party: since henrietta's coming away, they must have been depending almost entirely on each other, and louisa, just recovering from illness, had been in an interesting state, and captain benwick was not inconsolable. that was a point which anne had not been able to avoid suspecting before; and instead of drawing the same conclusion as mary, from the present course of events, they served only to confirm the idea of his having felt some dawning of tenderness toward herself. she did not mean, however, to derive much more from it to gratify her vanity, than mary might have allowed. she was persuaded that any tolerably pleasing young woman who had listened and seemed to feel for him would have received the same compliment. he had an affectionate heart. he must love somebody. she saw no reason against their being happy. louisa had fine naval fervour to begin with, and they would soon grow more alike. he would gain cheerfulness, and she would learn to be an enthusiast for scott and lord byron; nay, that was probably learnt already; of course they had fallen in love over poetry. the idea of louisa musgrove turned into a person of literary taste, and sentimental reflection was amusing, but she had no doubt of its being so. the day at lyme, the fall from the cobb, might influence her health, her nerves, her courage, her character to the end of her life, as thoroughly as it appeared to have influenced her fate. the conclusion of the whole was, that if the woman who had been sensible of captain wentworth's merits could be allowed to prefer another man, there was nothing in the engagement to excite lasting wonder; and if captain wentworth lost no friend by it, certainly nothing to be regretted. no, it was not regret which made anne's heart beat in spite of herself, and brought the colour into her cheeks when she thought of captain wentworth unshackled and free. she had some feelings which she was ashamed to investigate. they were too much like joy, senseless joy! she longed to see the crofts; but when the meeting took place, it was evident that no rumour of the news had yet reached them. the visit of ceremony was paid and returned; and louisa musgrove was mentioned, and captain benwick, too, without even half a smile. the crofts had placed themselves in lodgings in gay street, perfectly to sir walter's satisfaction. he was not at all ashamed of the acquaintance, and did, in fact, think and talk a great deal more about the admiral, than the admiral ever thought or talked about him. the crofts knew quite as many people in bath as they wished for, and considered their intercourse with the elliots as a mere matter of form, and not in the least likely to afford them any pleasure. they brought with them their country habit of being almost always together. he was ordered to walk to keep off the gout, and mrs croft seemed to go shares with him in everything, and to walk for her life to do him good. anne saw them wherever she went. lady russell took her out in her carriage almost every morning, and she never failed to think of them, and never failed to see them. knowing their feelings as she did, it was a most attractive picture of happiness to her. she always watched them as long as she could, delighted to fancy she understood what they might be talking of, as they walked along in happy independence, or equally delighted to see the admiral's hearty shake of the hand when he encountered an old friend, and observe their eagerness of conversation when occasionally forming into a little knot of the navy, mrs croft looking as intelligent and keen as any of the officers around her. anne was too much engaged with lady russell to be often walking herself; but it so happened that one morning, about a week or ten days after the croft's arrival, it suited her best to leave her friend, or her friend's carriage, in the lower part of the town, and return alone to camden place, and in walking up milsom street she had the good fortune to meet with the admiral. he was standing by himself at a printshop window, with his hands behind him, in earnest contemplation of some print, and she not only might have passed him unseen, but was obliged to touch as well as address him before she could catch his notice. when he did perceive and acknowledge her, however, it was done with all his usual frankness and good humour. "ha! is it you? thank you, thank you. this is treating me like a friend. here i am, you see, staring at a picture. i can never get by this shop without stopping. but what a thing here is, by way of a boat! do look at it. did you ever see the like? what queer fellows your fine painters must be, to think that anybody would venture their lives in such a shapeless old cockleshell as that? and yet here are two gentlemen stuck up in it mightily at their ease, and looking about them at the rocks and mountains, as if they were not to be upset the next moment, which they certainly must be. i wonder where that boat was built!" (laughing heartily); "i would not venture over a horsepond in it. well," (turning away), "now, where are you bound? can i go anywhere for you, or with you? can i be of any use?" "none, i thank you, unless you will give me the pleasure of your company the little way our road lies together. i am going home." "that i will, with all my heart, and farther, too. yes, yes we will have a snug walk together, and i have something to tell you as we go along. there, take my arm; that's right; i do not feel comfortable if i have not a woman there. lord! what a boat it is!" taking a last look at the picture, as they began to be in motion. "did you say that you had something to tell me, sir?" "yes, i have, presently. but here comes a friend, captain brigden; i shall only say, 'how d'ye do?' as we pass, however. i shall not stop. 'how d'ye do?' brigden stares to see anybody with me but my wife. she, poor soul, is tied by the leg. she has a blister on one of her heels, as large as a three-shilling piece. if you look across the street, you will see admiral brand coming down and his brother. shabby fellows, both of them! i am glad they are not on this side of the way. sophy cannot bear them. they played me a pitiful trick once: got away with some of my best men. i will tell you the whole story another time. there comes old sir archibald drew and his grandson. look, he sees us; he kisses his hand to you; he takes you for my wife. ah! the peace has come too soon for that younker. poor old sir archibald! how do you like bath, miss elliot? it suits us very well. we are always meeting with some old friend or other; the streets full of them every morning; sure to have plenty of chat; and then we get away from them all, and shut ourselves in our lodgings, and draw in our chairs, and are as snug as if we were at kellynch, ay, or as we used to be even at north yarmouth and deal. we do not like our lodgings here the worse, i can tell you, for putting us in mind of those we first had at north yarmouth. the wind blows through one of the cupboards just in the same way." when they were got a little farther, anne ventured to press again for what he had to communicate. she hoped when clear of milsom street to have her curiosity gratified; but she was still obliged to wait, for the admiral had made up his mind not to begin till they had gained the greater space and quiet of belmont; and as she was not really mrs croft, she must let him have his own way. as soon as they were fairly ascending belmont, he began-"well, now you shall hear something that will surprise you. but first of all, you must tell me the name of the young lady i am going to talk about. that young lady, you know, that we have all been so concerned for. the miss musgrove, that all this has been happening to. her christian name: i always forget her christian name." anne had been ashamed to appear to comprehend so soon as she really did; but now she could safely suggest the name of "louisa." "ay, ay, miss louisa musgrove, that is the name. i wish young ladies had not such a number of fine christian names. i should never be out if they were all sophys, or something of that sort. well, this miss louisa, we all thought, you know, was to marry frederick. he was courting her week after week. the only wonder was, what they could be waiting for, till the business at lyme came; then, indeed, it was clear enough that they must wait till her brain was set to right. but even then there was something odd in their way of going on. instead of staying at lyme, he went off to plymouth, and then he went off to see edward. when we came back from minehead he was gone down to edward's, and there he has been ever since. we have seen nothing of him since november. even sophy could not understand it. but now, the matter has taken the strangest turn of all; for this young lady, the same miss musgrove, instead of being to marry frederick, is to marry james benwick. you know james benwick." "a little. i am a little acquainted with captain benwick." "well, she is to marry him. nay, most likely they are married already, for i do not know what they should wait for." "i thought captain benwick a very pleasing young man," said anne, "and i understand that he bears an excellent character." "oh! yes, yes, there is not a word to be said against james benwick. he is only a commander, it is true, made last summer, and these are bad times for getting on, but he has not another fault that i know of. an excellent, good-hearted fellow, i assure you; a very active, zealous officer too, which is more than you would think for, perhaps, for that soft sort of manner does not do him justice." "indeed you are mistaken there, sir; i should never augur want of spirit from captain benwick's manners. i thought them particularly pleasing, and i will answer for it, they would generally please." "well, well, ladies are the best judges; but james benwick is rather too piano for me; and though very likely it is all our partiality, sophy and i cannot help thinking frederick's manners better than his. there is something about frederick more to our taste." anne was caught. she had only meant to oppose the too common idea of spirit and gentleness being incompatible with each other, not at all to represent captain benwick's manners as the very best that could possibly be; and, after a little hesitation, she was beginning to say, "i was not entering into any comparison of the two friends," but the admiral interrupted her with-"and the thing is certainly true. it is not a mere bit of gossip. we have it from frederick himself. his sister had a letter from him yesterday, in which he tells us of it, and he had just had it in a letter from harville, written upon the spot, from uppercross. i fancy they are all at uppercross." this was an opportunity which anne could not resist; she said, therefore, "i hope, admiral, i hope there is nothing in the style of captain wentworth's letter to make you and mrs croft particularly uneasy. it did seem, last autumn, as if there were an attachment between him and louisa musgrove; but i hope it may be understood to have worn out on each side equally, and without violence. i hope his letter does not breathe the spirit of an ill-used man." "not at all, not at all; there is not an oath or a murmur from beginning to end." anne looked down to hide her smile. "no, no; frederick is not a man to whine and complain; he has too much spirit for that. if the girl likes another man better, it is very fit she should have him." "certainly. but what i mean is, that i hope there is nothing in captain wentworth's manner of writing to make you suppose he thinks himself ill-used by his friend, which might appear, you know, without its being absolutely said. i should be very sorry that such a friendship as has subsisted between him and captain benwick should be destroyed, or even wounded, by a circumstance of this sort." "yes, yes, i understand you. but there is nothing at all of that nature in the letter. he does not give the least fling at benwick; does not so much as say, 'i wonder at it, i have a reason of my own for wondering at it.' no, you would not guess, from his way of writing, that he had ever thought of this miss (what's her name?) for himself. he very handsomely hopes they will be happy together; and there is nothing very unforgiving in that, i think." anne did not receive the perfect conviction which the admiral meant to convey, but it would have been useless to press the enquiry farther. she therefore satisfied herself with common-place remarks or quiet attention, and the admiral had it all his own way. "poor frederick!" said he at last. "now he must begin all over again with somebody else. i think we must get him to bath. sophy must write, and beg him to come to bath. here are pretty girls enough, i am sure. it would be of no use to go to uppercross again, for that other miss musgrove, i find, is bespoke by her cousin, the young parson. do not you think, miss elliot, we had better try to get him to bath?" chapter 19 while admiral croft was taking this walk with anne, and expressing his wish of getting captain wentworth to bath, captain wentworth was already on his way thither. before mrs croft had written, he was arrived, and the very next time anne walked out, she saw him. mr elliot was attending his two cousins and mrs clay. they were in milsom street. it began to rain, not much, but enough to make shelter desirable for women, and quite enough to make it very desirable for miss elliot to have the advantage of being conveyed home in lady dalrymple's carriage, which was seen waiting at a little distance; she, anne, and mrs clay, therefore, turned into molland's, while mr elliot stepped to lady dalrymple, to request her assistance. he soon joined them again, successful, of course; lady dalrymple would be most happy to take them home, and would call for them in a few minutes. her ladyship's carriage was a barouche, and did not hold more than four with any comfort. miss carteret was with her mother; consequently it was not reasonable to expect accommodation for all the three camden place ladies. there could be no doubt as to miss elliot. whoever suffered inconvenience, she must suffer none, but it occupied a little time to settle the point of civility between the other two. the rain was a mere trifle, and anne was most sincere in preferring a walk with mr elliot. but the rain was also a mere trifle to mrs clay; she would hardly allow it even to drop at all, and her boots were so thick! much thicker than miss anne's; and, in short, her civility rendered her quite as anxious to be left to walk with mr elliot as anne could be, and it was discussed between them with a generosity so polite and so determined, that the others were obliged to settle it for them; miss elliot maintaining that mrs clay had a little cold already, and mr elliot deciding on appeal, that his cousin anne's boots were rather the thickest. it was fixed accordingly, that mrs clay should be of the party in the carriage; and they had just reached this point, when anne, as she sat near the window, descried, most decidedly and distinctly, captain wentworth walking down the street. her start was perceptible only to herself; but she instantly felt that she was the greatest simpleton in the world, the most unaccountable and absurd! for a few minutes she saw nothing before her; it was all confusion. she was lost, and when she had scolded back her senses, she found the others still waiting for the carriage, and mr elliot (always obliging) just setting off for union street on a commission of mrs clay's. she now felt a great inclination to go to the outer door; she wanted to see if it rained. why was she to suspect herself of another motive? captain wentworth must be out of sight. she left her seat, she would go; one half of her should not be always so much wiser than the other half, or always suspecting the other of being worse than it was. she would see if it rained. she was sent back, however, in a moment by the entrance of captain wentworth himself, among a party of gentlemen and ladies, evidently his acquaintance, and whom he must have joined a little below milsom street. he was more obviously struck and confused by the sight of her than she had ever observed before; he looked quite red. for the first time, since their renewed acquaintance, she felt that she was betraying the least sensibility of the two. she had the advantage of him in the preparation of the last few moments. all the overpowering, blinding, bewildering, first effects of strong surprise were over with her. still, however, she had enough to feel! it was agitation, pain, pleasure, a something between delight and misery. he spoke to her, and then turned away. the character of his manner was embarrassment. she could not have called it either cold or friendly, or anything so certainly as embarrassed. after a short interval, however, he came towards her, and spoke again. mutual enquiries on common subjects passed: neither of them, probably, much the wiser for what they heard, and anne continuing fully sensible of his being less at ease than formerly. they had by dint of being so very much together, got to speak to each other with a considerable portion of apparent indifference and calmness; but he could not do it now. time had changed him, or louisa had changed him. there was consciousness of some sort or other. he looked very well, not as if he had been suffering in health or spirits, and he talked of uppercross, of the musgroves, nay, even of louisa, and had even a momentary look of his own arch significance as he named her; but yet it was captain wentworth not comfortable, not easy, not able to feign that he was. it did not surprise, but it grieved anne to observe that elizabeth would not know him. she saw that he saw elizabeth, that elizabeth saw him, that there was complete internal recognition on each side; she was convinced that he was ready to be acknowledged as an acquaintance, expecting it, and she had the pain of seeing her sister turn away with unalterable coldness. lady dalrymple's carriage, for which miss elliot was growing very impatient, now drew up; the servant came in to announce it. it was beginning to rain again, and altogether there was a delay, and a bustle, and a talking, which must make all the little crowd in the shop understand that lady dalrymple was calling to convey miss elliot. at last miss elliot and her friend, unattended but by the servant, (for there was no cousin returned), were walking off; and captain wentworth, watching them, turned again to anne, and by manner, rather than words, was offering his services to her. "i am much obliged to you," was her answer, "but i am not going with them. the carriage would not accommodate so many. i walk: i prefer walking." "but it rains." "oh! very little, nothing that i regard." after a moment's pause he said: "though i came only yesterday, i have equipped myself properly for bath already, you see," (pointing to a new umbrella); "i wish you would make use of it, if you are determined to walk; though i think it would be more prudent to let me get you a chair." she was very much obliged to him, but declined it all, repeating her conviction, that the rain would come to nothing at present, and adding, "i am only waiting for mr elliot. he will be here in a moment, i am sure." she had hardly spoken the words when mr elliot walked in. captain wentworth recollected him perfectly. there was no difference between him and the man who had stood on the steps at lyme, admiring anne as she passed, except in the air and look and manner of the privileged relation and friend. he came in with eagerness, appeared to see and think only of her, apologised for his stay, was grieved to have kept her waiting, and anxious to get her away without further loss of time and before the rain increased; and in another moment they walked off together, her arm under his, a gentle and embarrassed glance, and a "good morning to you!" being all that she had time for, as she passed away. as soon as they were out of sight, the ladies of captain wentworth's party began talking of them. "mr elliot does not dislike his cousin, i fancy?" "oh! no, that is clear enough. one can guess what will happen there. he is always with them; half lives in the family, i believe. what a very good-looking man!" "yes, and miss atkinson, who dined with him once at the wallises, says he is the most agreeable man she ever was in company with." "she is pretty, i think; anne elliot; very pretty, when one comes to look at her. it is not the fashion to say so, but i confess i admire her more than her sister." "oh! so do i." "and so do i. no comparison. but the men are all wild after miss elliot. anne is too delicate for them." anne would have been particularly obliged to her cousin, if he would have walked by her side all the way to camden place, without saying a word. she had never found it so difficult to listen to him, though nothing could exceed his solicitude and care, and though his subjects were principally such as were wont to be always interesting: praise, warm, just, and discriminating, of lady russell, and insinuations highly rational against mrs clay. but just now she could think only of captain wentworth. she could not understand his present feelings, whether he were really suffering much from disappointment or not; and till that point were settled, she could not be quite herself. she hoped to be wise and reasonable in time; but alas! alas! she must confess to herself that she was not wise yet. another circumstance very essential for her to know, was how long he meant to be in bath; he had not mentioned it, or she could not recollect it. he might be only passing through. but it was more probable that he should be come to stay. in that case, so liable as every body was to meet every body in bath, lady russell would in all likelihood see him somewhere. would she recollect him? how would it all be? she had already been obliged to tell lady russell that louisa musgrove was to marry captain benwick. it had cost her something to encounter lady russell's surprise; and now, if she were by any chance to be thrown into company with captain wentworth, her imperfect knowledge of the matter might add another shade of prejudice against him. the following morning anne was out with her friend, and for the first hour, in an incessant and fearful sort of watch for him in vain; but at last, in returning down pulteney street, she distinguished him on the right hand pavement at such a distance as to have him in view the greater part of the street. there were many other men about him, many groups walking the same way, but there was no mistaking him. she looked instinctively at lady russell; but not from any mad idea of her recognising him so soon as she did herself. no, it was not to be supposed that lady russell would perceive him till they were nearly opposite. she looked at her however, from time to time, anxiously; and when the moment approached which must point him out, though not daring to look again (for her own countenance she knew was unfit to be seen), she was yet perfectly conscious of lady russell's eyes being turned exactly in the direction for him--of her being, in short, intently observing him. she could thoroughly comprehend the sort of fascination he must possess over lady russell's mind, the difficulty it must be for her to withdraw her eyes, the astonishment she must be feeling that eight or nine years should have passed over him, and in foreign climes and in active service too, without robbing him of one personal grace! at last, lady russell drew back her head. "now, how would she speak of him?" "you will wonder," said she, "what has been fixing my eye so long; but i was looking after some window-curtains, which lady alicia and mrs frankland were telling me of last night. they described the drawing-room window-curtains of one of the houses on this side of the way, and this part of the street, as being the handsomest and best hung of any in bath, but could not recollect the exact number, and i have been trying to find out which it could be; but i confess i can see no curtains hereabouts that answer their description." anne sighed and blushed and smiled, in pity and disdain, either at her friend or herself. the part which provoked her most, was that in all this waste of foresight and caution, she should have lost the right moment for seeing whether he saw them. a day or two passed without producing anything. the theatre or the rooms, where he was most likely to be, were not fashionable enough for the elliots, whose evening amusements were solely in the elegant stupidity of private parties, in which they were getting more and more engaged; and anne, wearied of such a state of stagnation, sick of knowing nothing, and fancying herself stronger because her strength was not tried, was quite impatient for the concert evening. it was a concert for the benefit of a person patronised by lady dalrymple. of course they must attend. it was really expected to be a good one, and captain wentworth was very fond of music. if she could only have a few minutes conversation with him again, she fancied she should be satisfied; and as to the power of addressing him, she felt all over courage if the opportunity occurred. elizabeth had turned from him, lady russell overlooked him; her nerves were strengthened by these circumstances; she felt that she owed him attention. she had once partly promised mrs smith to spend the evening with her; but in a short hurried call she excused herself and put it off, with the more decided promise of a longer visit on the morrow. mrs smith gave a most good-humoured acquiescence. "by all means," said she; "only tell me all about it, when you do come. who is your party?" anne named them all. mrs smith made no reply; but when she was leaving her said, and with an expression half serious, half arch, "well, i heartily wish your concert may answer; and do not fail me to-morrow if you can come; for i begin to have a foreboding that i may not have many more visits from you." anne was startled and confused; but after standing in a moment's suspense, was obliged, and not sorry to be obliged, to hurry away. chapter 20 sir walter, his two daughters, and mrs clay, were the earliest of all their party at the rooms in the evening; and as lady dalrymple must be waited for, they took their station by one of the fires in the octagon room. but hardly were they so settled, when the door opened again, and captain wentworth walked in alone. anne was the nearest to him, and making yet a little advance, she instantly spoke. he was preparing only to bow and pass on, but her gentle "how do you do?" brought him out of the straight line to stand near her, and make enquiries in return, in spite of the formidable father and sister in the back ground. their being in the back ground was a support to anne; she knew nothing of their looks, and felt equal to everything which she believed right to be done. while they were speaking, a whispering between her father and elizabeth caught her ear. she could not distinguish, but she must guess the subject; and on captain wentworth's making a distant bow, she comprehended that her father had judged so well as to give him that simple acknowledgement of acquaintance, and she was just in time by a side glance to see a slight curtsey from elizabeth herself. this, though late, and reluctant, and ungracious, was yet better than nothing, and her spirits improved. after talking, however, of the weather, and bath, and the concert, their conversation began to flag, and so little was said at last, that she was expecting him to go every moment, but he did not; he seemed in no hurry to leave her; and presently with renewed spirit, with a little smile, a little glow, he said-"i have hardly seen you since our day at lyme. i am afraid you must have suffered from the shock, and the more from its not overpowering you at the time." she assured him that she had not. "it was a frightful hour," said he, "a frightful day!" and he passed his hand across his eyes, as if the remembrance were still too painful, but in a moment, half smiling again, added, "the day has produced some effects however; has had some consequences which must be considered as the very reverse of frightful. when you had the presence of mind to suggest that benwick would be the properest person to fetch a surgeon, you could have little idea of his being eventually one of those most concerned in her recovery." "certainly i could have none. but it appears--i should hope it would be a very happy match. there are on both sides good principles and good temper." "yes," said he, looking not exactly forward; "but there, i think, ends the resemblance. with all my soul i wish them happy, and rejoice over every circumstance in favour of it. they have no difficulties to contend with at home, no opposition, no caprice, no delays. the musgroves are behaving like themselves, most honourably and kindly, only anxious with true parental hearts to promote their daughter's comfort. all this is much, very much in favour of their happiness; more than perhaps--" he stopped. a sudden recollection seemed to occur, and to give him some taste of that emotion which was reddening anne's cheeks and fixing her eyes on the ground. after clearing his throat, however, he proceeded thus-"i confess that i do think there is a disparity, too great a disparity, and in a point no less essential than mind. i regard louisa musgrove as a very amiable, sweet-tempered girl, and not deficient in understanding, but benwick is something more. he is a clever man, a reading man; and i confess, that i do consider his attaching himself to her with some surprise. had it been the effect of gratitude, had he learnt to love her, because he believed her to be preferring him, it would have been another thing. but i have no reason to suppose it so. it seems, on the contrary, to have been a perfectly spontaneous, untaught feeling on his side, and this surprises me. a man like him, in his situation! with a heart pierced, wounded, almost broken! fanny harville was a very superior creature, and his attachment to her was indeed attachment. a man does not recover from such a devotion of the heart to such a woman. he ought not; he does not." either from the consciousness, however, that his friend had recovered, or from other consciousness, he went no farther; and anne who, in spite of the agitated voice in which the latter part had been uttered, and in spite of all the various noises of the room, the almost ceaseless slam of the door, and ceaseless buzz of persons walking through, had distinguished every word, was struck, gratified, confused, and beginning to breathe very quick, and feel an hundred things in a moment. it was impossible for her to enter on such a subject; and yet, after a pause, feeling the necessity of speaking, and having not the smallest wish for a total change, she only deviated so far as to say-"you were a good while at lyme, i think?" "about a fortnight. i could not leave it till louisa's doing well was quite ascertained. i had been too deeply concerned in the mischief to be soon at peace. it had been my doing, solely mine. she would not have been obstinate if i had not been weak. the country round lyme is very fine. i walked and rode a great deal; and the more i saw, the more i found to admire." "i should very much like to see lyme again," said anne. "indeed! i should not have supposed that you could have found anything in lyme to inspire such a feeling. the horror and distress you were involved in, the stretch of mind, the wear of spirits! i should have thought your last impressions of lyme must have been strong disgust." "the last hours were certainly very painful," replied anne; "but when pain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure. one does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering, which was by no means the case at lyme. we were only in anxiety and distress during the last two hours, and previously there had been a great deal of enjoyment. so much novelty and beauty! i have travelled so little, that every fresh place would be interesting to me; but there is real beauty at lyme; and in short" (with a faint blush at some recollections), "altogether my impressions of the place are very agreeable." as she ceased, the entrance door opened again, and the very party appeared for whom they were waiting. "lady dalrymple, lady dalrymple," was the rejoicing sound; and with all the eagerness compatible with anxious elegance, sir walter and his two ladies stepped forward to meet her. lady dalrymple and miss carteret, escorted by mr elliot and colonel wallis, who had happened to arrive nearly at the same instant, advanced into the room. the others joined them, and it was a group in which anne found herself also necessarily included. she was divided from captain wentworth. their interesting, almost too interesting conversation must be broken up for a time, but slight was the penance compared with the happiness which brought it on! she had learnt, in the last ten minutes, more of his feelings towards louisa, more of all his feelings than she dared to think of; and she gave herself up to the demands of the party, to the needful civilities of the moment, with exquisite, though agitated sensations. she was in good humour with all. she had received ideas which disposed her to be courteous and kind to all, and to pity every one, as being less happy than herself. the delightful emotions were a little subdued, when on stepping back from the group, to be joined again by captain wentworth, she saw that he was gone. she was just in time to see him turn into the concert room. he was gone; he had disappeared, she felt a moment's regret. but "they should meet again. he would look for her, he would find her out before the evening were over, and at present, perhaps, it was as well to be asunder. she was in need of a little interval for recollection." upon lady russell's appearance soon afterwards, the whole party was collected, and all that remained was to marshal themselves, and proceed into the concert room; and be of all the consequence in their power, draw as many eyes, excite as many whispers, and disturb as many people as they could. very, very happy were both elizabeth and anne elliot as they walked in. elizabeth arm in arm with miss carteret, and looking on the broad back of the dowager viscountess dalrymple before her, had nothing to wish for which did not seem within her reach; and anne--but it would be an insult to the nature of anne's felicity, to draw any comparison between it and her sister's; the origin of one all selfish vanity, of the other all generous attachment. anne saw nothing, thought nothing of the brilliancy of the room. her happiness was from within. her eyes were bright and her cheeks glowed; but she knew nothing about it. she was thinking only of the last half hour, and as they passed to their seats, her mind took a hasty range over it. his choice of subjects, his expressions, and still more his manner and look, had been such as she could see in only one light. his opinion of louisa musgrove's inferiority, an opinion which he had seemed solicitous to give, his wonder at captain benwick, his feelings as to a first, strong attachment; sentences begun which he could not finish, his half averted eyes and more than half expressive glance, all, all declared that he had a heart returning to her at least; that anger, resentment, avoidance, were no more; and that they were succeeded, not merely by friendship and regard, but by the tenderness of the past. yes, some share of the tenderness of the past. she could not contemplate the change as implying less. he must love her. these were thoughts, with their attendant visions, which occupied and flurried her too much to leave her any power of observation; and she passed along the room without having a glimpse of him, without even trying to discern him. when their places were determined on, and they were all properly arranged, she looked round to see if he should happen to be in the same part of the room, but he was not; her eye could not reach him; and the concert being just opening, she must consent for a time to be happy in a humbler way. the party was divided and disposed of on two contiguous benches: anne was among those on the foremost, and mr elliot had manoeuvred so well, with the assistance of his friend colonel wallis, as to have a seat by her. miss elliot, surrounded by her cousins, and the principal object of colonel wallis's gallantry, was quite contented. anne's mind was in a most favourable state for the entertainment of the evening; it was just occupation enough: she had feelings for the tender, spirits for the gay, attention for the scientific, and patience for the wearisome; and had never liked a concert better, at least during the first act. towards the close of it, in the interval succeeding an italian song, she explained the words of the song to mr elliot. they had a concert bill between them. "this," said she, "is nearly the sense, or rather the meaning of the words, for certainly the sense of an italian love-song must not be talked of, but it is as nearly the meaning as i can give; for i do not pretend to understand the language. i am a very poor italian scholar." "yes, yes, i see you are. i see you know nothing of the matter. you have only knowledge enough of the language to translate at sight these inverted, transposed, curtailed italian lines, into clear, comprehensible, elegant english. you need not say anything more of your ignorance. here is complete proof." "i will not oppose such kind politeness; but i should be sorry to be examined by a real proficient." "i have not had the pleasure of visiting in camden place so long," replied he, "without knowing something of miss anne elliot; and i do regard her as one who is too modest for the world in general to be aware of half her accomplishments, and too highly accomplished for modesty to be natural in any other woman." "for shame! for shame! this is too much flattery. i forget what we are to have next," turning to the bill. "perhaps," said mr elliot, speaking low, "i have had a longer acquaintance with your character than you are aware of." "indeed! how so? you can have been acquainted with it only since i came to bath, excepting as you might hear me previously spoken of in my own family." "i knew you by report long before you came to bath. i had heard you described by those who knew you intimately. i have been acquainted with you by character many years. your person, your disposition, accomplishments, manner; they were all present to me." mr elliot was not disappointed in the interest he hoped to raise. no one can withstand the charm of such a mystery. to have been described long ago to a recent acquaintance, by nameless people, is irresistible; and anne was all curiosity. she wondered, and questioned him eagerly; but in vain. he delighted in being asked, but he would not tell. "no, no, some time or other, perhaps, but not now. he would mention no names now; but such, he could assure her, had been the fact. he had many years ago received such a description of miss anne elliot as had inspired him with the highest idea of her merit, and excited the warmest curiosity to know her." anne could think of no one so likely to have spoken with partiality of her many years ago as the mr wentworth of monkford, captain wentworth's brother. he might have been in mr elliot's company, but she had not courage to ask the question. "the name of anne elliot," said he, "has long had an interesting sound to me. very long has it possessed a charm over my fancy; and, if i dared, i would breathe my wishes that the name might never change." such, she believed, were his words; but scarcely had she received their sound, than her attention was caught by other sounds immediately behind her, which rendered every thing else trivial. her father and lady dalrymple were speaking. "a well-looking man," said sir walter, "a very well-looking man." "a very fine young man indeed!" said lady dalrymple. "more air than one often sees in bath. irish, i dare say." "no, i just know his name. a bowing acquaintance. wentworth; captain wentworth of the navy. his sister married my tenant in somersetshire, the croft, who rents kellynch." before sir walter had reached this point, anne's eyes had caught the right direction, and distinguished captain wentworth standing among a cluster of men at a little distance. as her eyes fell on him, his seemed to be withdrawn from her. it had that appearance. it seemed as if she had been one moment too late; and as long as she dared observe, he did not look again: but the performance was recommencing, and she was forced to seem to restore her attention to the orchestra and look straight forward. when she could give another glance, he had moved away. he could not have come nearer to her if he would; she was so surrounded and shut in: but she would rather have caught his eye. mr elliot's speech, too, distressed her. she had no longer any inclination to talk to him. she wished him not so near her. the first act was over. now she hoped for some beneficial change; and, after a period of nothing-saying amongst the party, some of them did decide on going in quest of tea. anne was one of the few who did not choose to move. she remained in her seat, and so did lady russell; but she had the pleasure of getting rid of mr elliot; and she did not mean, whatever she might feel on lady russell's account, to shrink from conversation with captain wentworth, if he gave her the opportunity. she was persuaded by lady russell's countenance that she had seen him. he did not come however. anne sometimes fancied she discerned him at a distance, but he never came. the anxious interval wore away unproductively. the others returned, the room filled again, benches were reclaimed and repossessed, and another hour of pleasure or of penance was to be sat out, another hour of music was to give delight or the gapes, as real or affected taste for it prevailed. to anne, it chiefly wore the prospect of an hour of agitation. she could not quit that room in peace without seeing captain wentworth once more, without the interchange of one friendly look. in re-settling themselves there were now many changes, the result of which was favourable for her. colonel wallis declined sitting down again, and mr elliot was invited by elizabeth and miss carteret, in a manner not to be refused, to sit between them; and by some other removals, and a little scheming of her own, anne was enabled to place herself much nearer the end of the bench than she had been before, much more within reach of a passer-by. she could not do so, without comparing herself with miss larolles, the inimitable miss larolles; but still she did it, and not with much happier effect; though by what seemed prosperity in the shape of an early abdication in her next neighbours, she found herself at the very end of the bench before the concert closed. such was her situation, with a vacant space at hand, when captain wentworth was again in sight. she saw him not far off. he saw her too; yet he looked grave, and seemed irresolute, and only by very slow degrees came at last near enough to speak to her. she felt that something must be the matter. the change was indubitable. the difference between his present air and what it had been in the octagon room was strikingly great. why was it? she thought of her father, of lady russell. could there have been any unpleasant glances? he began by speaking of the concert gravely, more like the captain wentworth of uppercross; owned himself disappointed, had expected singing; and in short, must confess that he should not be sorry when it was over. anne replied, and spoke in defence of the performance so well, and yet in allowance for his feelings so pleasantly, that his countenance improved, and he replied again with almost a smile. they talked for a few minutes more; the improvement held; he even looked down towards the bench, as if he saw a place on it well worth occupying; when at that moment a touch on her shoulder obliged anne to turn round. it came from mr elliot. he begged her pardon, but she must be applied to, to explain italian again. miss carteret was very anxious to have a general idea of what was next to be sung. anne could not refuse; but never had she sacrificed to politeness with a more suffering spirit. a few minutes, though as few as possible, were inevitably consumed; and when her own mistress again, when able to turn and look as she had done before, she found herself accosted by captain wentworth, in a reserved yet hurried sort of farewell. "he must wish her good night; he was going; he should get home as fast as he could." "is not this song worth staying for?" said anne, suddenly struck by an idea which made her yet more anxious to be encouraging. "no!" he replied impressively, "there is nothing worth my staying for;" and he was gone directly. jealousy of mr elliot! it was the only intelligible motive. captain wentworth jealous of her affection! could she have believed it a week ago; three hours ago! for a moment the gratification was exquisite. but, alas! there were very different thoughts to succeed. how was such jealousy to be quieted? how was the truth to reach him? how, in all the peculiar disadvantages of their respective situations, would he ever learn of her real sentiments? it was misery to think of mr elliot's attentions. their evil was incalculable. chapter 21 anne recollected with pleasure the next morning her promise of going to mrs smith, meaning that it should engage her from home at the time when mr elliot would be most likely to call; for to avoid mr elliot was almost a first object. she felt a great deal of good-will towards him. in spite of the mischief of his attentions, she owed him gratitude and regard, perhaps compassion. she could not help thinking much of the extraordinary circumstances attending their acquaintance, of the right which he seemed to have to interest her, by everything in situation, by his own sentiments, by his early prepossession. it was altogether very extraordinary; flattering, but painful. there was much to regret. how she might have felt had there been no captain wentworth in the case, was not worth enquiry; for there was a captain wentworth; and be the conclusion of the present suspense good or bad, her affection would be his for ever. their union, she believed, could not divide her more from other men, than their final separation. prettier musings of high-wrought love and eternal constancy, could never have passed along the streets of bath, than anne was sporting with from camden place to westgate buildings. it was almost enough to spread purification and perfume all the way. she was sure of a pleasant reception; and her friend seemed this morning particularly obliged to her for coming, seemed hardly to have expected her, though it had been an appointment. an account of the concert was immediately claimed; and anne's recollections of the concert were quite happy enough to animate her features and make her rejoice to talk of it. all that she could tell she told most gladly, but the all was little for one who had been there, and unsatisfactory for such an enquirer as mrs smith, who had already heard, through the short cut of a laundress and a waiter, rather more of the general success and produce of the evening than anne could relate, and who now asked in vain for several particulars of the company. everybody of any consequence or notoriety in bath was well know by name to mrs smith. "the little durands were there, i conclude," said she, "with their mouths open to catch the music, like unfledged sparrows ready to be fed. they never miss a concert." "yes; i did not see them myself, but i heard mr elliot say they were in the room." "the ibbotsons, were they there? and the two new beauties, with the tall irish officer, who is talked of for one of them." "i do not know. i do not think they were." "old lady mary maclean? i need not ask after her. she never misses, i know; and you must have seen her. she must have been in your own circle; for as you went with lady dalrymple, you were in the seats of grandeur, round the orchestra, of course." "no, that was what i dreaded. it would have been very unpleasant to me in every respect. but happily lady dalrymple always chooses to be farther off; and we were exceedingly well placed, that is, for hearing; i must not say for seeing, because i appear to have seen very little." "oh! you saw enough for your own amusement. i can understand. there is a sort of domestic enjoyment to be known even in a crowd, and this you had. you were a large party in yourselves, and you wanted nothing beyond." "but i ought to have looked about me more," said anne, conscious while she spoke that there had in fact been no want of looking about, that the object only had been deficient. "no, no; you were better employed. you need not tell me that you had a pleasant evening. i see it in your eye. i perfectly see how the hours passed: that you had always something agreeable to listen to. in the intervals of the concert it was conversation." anne half smiled and said, "do you see that in my eye?" "yes, i do. your countenance perfectly informs me that you were in company last night with the person whom you think the most agreeable in the world, the person who interests you at this present time more than all the rest of the world put together." a blush overspread anne's cheeks. she could say nothing. "and such being the case," continued mrs smith, after a short pause, "i hope you believe that i do know how to value your kindness in coming to me this morning. it is really very good of you to come and sit with me, when you must have so many pleasanter demands upon your time." anne heard nothing of this. she was still in the astonishment and confusion excited by her friend's penetration, unable to imagine how any report of captain wentworth could have reached her. after another short silence-"pray," said mrs smith, "is mr elliot aware of your acquaintance with me? does he know that i am in bath?" "mr elliot!" repeated anne, looking up surprised. a moment's reflection shewed her the mistake she had been under. she caught it instantaneously; and recovering her courage with the feeling of safety, soon added, more composedly, "are you acquainted with mr elliot?" "i have been a good deal acquainted with him," replied mrs smith, gravely, "but it seems worn out now. it is a great while since we met." "i was not at all aware of this. you never mentioned it before. had i known it, i would have had the pleasure of talking to him about you." "to confess the truth," said mrs smith, assuming her usual air of cheerfulness, "that is exactly the pleasure i want you to have. i want you to talk about me to mr elliot. i want your interest with him. he can be of essential service to me; and if you would have the goodness, my dear miss elliot, to make it an object to yourself, of course it is done." "i should be extremely happy; i hope you cannot doubt my willingness to be of even the slightest use to you," replied anne; "but i suspect that you are considering me as having a higher claim on mr elliot, a greater right to influence him, than is really the case. i am sure you have, somehow or other, imbibed such a notion. you must consider me only as mr elliot's relation. if in that light there is anything which you suppose his cousin might fairly ask of him, i beg you would not hesitate to employ me." mrs smith gave her a penetrating glance, and then, smiling, said-"i have been a little premature, i perceive; i beg your pardon. i ought to have waited for official information. but now, my dear miss elliot, as an old friend, do give me a hint as to when i may speak. next week? to be sure by next week i may be allowed to think it all settled, and build my own selfish schemes on mr elliot's good fortune." "no," replied anne, "nor next week, nor next, nor next. i assure you that nothing of the sort you are thinking of will be settled any week. i am not going to marry mr elliot. i should like to know why you imagine i am?" mrs smith looked at her again, looked earnestly, smiled, shook her head, and exclaimed-"now, how i do wish i understood you! how i do wish i knew what you were at! i have a great idea that you do not design to be cruel, when the right moment occurs. till it does come, you know, we women never mean to have anybody. it is a thing of course among us, that every man is refused, till he offers. but why should you be cruel? let me plead for my--present friend i cannot call him, but for my former friend. where can you look for a more suitable match? where could you expect a more gentlemanlike, agreeable man? let me recommend mr elliot. i am sure you hear nothing but good of him from colonel wallis; and who can know him better than colonel wallis?" "my dear mrs smith, mr elliot's wife has not been dead much above half a year. he ought not to be supposed to be paying his addresses to any one." "oh! if these are your only objections," cried mrs smith, archly, "mr elliot is safe, and i shall give myself no more trouble about him. do not forget me when you are married, that's all. let him know me to be a friend of yours, and then he will think little of the trouble required, which it is very natural for him now, with so many affairs and engagements of his own, to avoid and get rid of as he can; very natural, perhaps. ninety-nine out of a hundred would do the same. of course, he cannot be aware of the importance to me. well, my dear miss elliot, i hope and trust you will be very happy. mr elliot has sense to understand the value of such a woman. your peace will not be shipwrecked as mine has been. you are safe in all worldly matters, and safe in his character. he will not be led astray; he will not be misled by others to his ruin." "no," said anne, "i can readily believe all that of my cousin. he seems to have a calm decided temper, not at all open to dangerous impressions. i consider him with great respect. i have no reason, from any thing that has fallen within my observation, to do otherwise. but i have not known him long; and he is not a man, i think, to be known intimately soon. will not this manner of speaking of him, mrs smith, convince you that he is nothing to me? surely this must be calm enough. and, upon my word, he is nothing to me. should he ever propose to me (which i have very little reason to imagine he has any thought of doing), i shall not accept him. i assure you i shall not. i assure you, mr elliot had not the share which you have been supposing, in whatever pleasure the concert of last night might afford: not mr elliot; it is not mr elliot that--" she stopped, regretting with a deep blush that she had implied so much; but less would hardly have been sufficient. mrs smith would hardly have believed so soon in mr elliot's failure, but from the perception of there being a somebody else. as it was, she instantly submitted, and with all the semblance of seeing nothing beyond; and anne, eager to escape farther notice, was impatient to know why mrs smith should have fancied she was to marry mr elliot; where she could have received the idea, or from whom she could have heard it. "do tell me how it first came into your head." "it first came into my head," replied mrs smith, "upon finding how much you were together, and feeling it to be the most probable thing in the world to be wished for by everybody belonging to either of you; and you may depend upon it that all your acquaintance have disposed of you in the same way. but i never heard it spoken of till two days ago." "and has it indeed been spoken of?" "did you observe the woman who opened the door to you when you called yesterday?" "no. was not it mrs speed, as usual, or the maid? i observed no one in particular." "it was my friend mrs rooke; nurse rooke; who, by-the-bye, had a great curiosity to see you, and was delighted to be in the way to let you in. she came away from marlborough buildings only on sunday; and she it was who told me you were to marry mr elliot. she had had it from mrs wallis herself, which did not seem bad authority. she sat an hour with me on monday evening, and gave me the whole history." "the whole history," repeated anne, laughing. "she could not make a very long history, i think, of one such little article of unfounded news." mrs smith said nothing. "but," continued anne, presently, "though there is no truth in my having this claim on mr elliot, i should be extremely happy to be of use to you in any way that i could. shall i mention to him your being in bath? shall i take any message?" "no, i thank you: no, certainly not. in the warmth of the moment, and under a mistaken impression, i might, perhaps, have endeavoured to interest you in some circumstances; but not now. no, i thank you, i have nothing to trouble you with." "i think you spoke of having known mr elliot many years?" "i did." "not before he was married, i suppose?" "yes; he was not married when i knew him first." "and--were you much acquainted?" "intimately." "indeed! then do tell me what he was at that time of life. i have a great curiosity to know what mr elliot was as a very young man. was he at all such as he appears now?" "i have not seen mr elliot these three years," was mrs smith's answer, given so gravely that it was impossible to pursue the subject farther; and anne felt that she had gained nothing but an increase of curiosity. they were both silent: mrs smith very thoughtful. at last-"i beg your pardon, my dear miss elliot," she cried, in her natural tone of cordiality, "i beg your pardon for the short answers i have been giving you, but i have been uncertain what i ought to do. i have been doubting and considering as to what i ought to tell you. there were many things to be taken into the account. one hates to be officious, to be giving bad impressions, making mischief. even the smooth surface of family-union seems worth preserving, though there may be nothing durable beneath. however, i have determined; i think i am right; i think you ought to be made acquainted with mr elliot's real character. though i fully believe that, at present, you have not the smallest intention of accepting him, there is no saying what may happen. you might, some time or other, be differently affected towards him. hear the truth, therefore, now, while you are unprejudiced. mr elliot is a man without heart or conscience; a designing, wary, cold-blooded being, who thinks only of himself; whom for his own interest or ease, would be guilty of any cruelty, or any treachery, that could be perpetrated without risk of his general character. he has no feeling for others. those whom he has been the chief cause of leading into ruin, he can neglect and desert without the smallest compunction. he is totally beyond the reach of any sentiment of justice or compassion. oh! he is black at heart, hollow and black!" anne's astonished air, and exclamation of wonder, made her pause, and in a calmer manner, she added, "my expressions startle you. you must allow for an injured, angry woman. but i will try to command myself. i will not abuse him. i will only tell you what i have found him. facts shall speak. he was the intimate friend of my dear husband, who trusted and loved him, and thought him as good as himself. the intimacy had been formed before our marriage. i found them most intimate friends; and i, too, became excessively pleased with mr elliot, and entertained the highest opinion of him. at nineteen, you know, one does not think very seriously; but mr elliot appeared to me quite as good as others, and much more agreeable than most others, and we were almost always together. we were principally in town, living in very good style. he was then the inferior in circumstances; he was then the poor one; he had chambers in the temple, and it was as much as he could do to support the appearance of a gentleman. he had always a home with us whenever he chose it; he was always welcome; he was like a brother. my poor charles, who had the finest, most generous spirit in the world, would have divided his last farthing with him; and i know that his purse was open to him; i know that he often assisted him." "this must have been about that very period of mr elliot's life," said anne, "which has always excited my particular curiosity. it must have been about the same time that he became known to my father and sister. i never knew him myself; i only heard of him; but there was a something in his conduct then, with regard to my father and sister, and afterwards in the circumstances of his marriage, which i never could quite reconcile with present times. it seemed to announce a different sort of man." "i know it all, i know it all," cried mrs smith. "he had been introduced to sir walter and your sister before i was acquainted with him, but i heard him speak of them for ever. i know he was invited and encouraged, and i know he did not choose to go. i can satisfy you, perhaps, on points which you would little expect; and as to his marriage, i knew all about it at the time. i was privy to all the fors and againsts; i was the friend to whom he confided his hopes and plans; and though i did not know his wife previously, her inferior situation in society, indeed, rendered that impossible, yet i knew her all her life afterwards, or at least till within the last two years of her life, and can answer any question you may wish to put." "nay," said anne, "i have no particular enquiry to make about her. i have always understood they were not a happy couple. but i should like to know why, at that time of his life, he should slight my father's acquaintance as he did. my father was certainly disposed to take very kind and proper notice of him. why did mr elliot draw back?" "mr elliot," replied mrs smith, "at that period of his life, had one object in view: to make his fortune, and by a rather quicker process than the law. he was determined to make it by marriage. he was determined, at least, not to mar it by an imprudent marriage; and i know it was his belief (whether justly or not, of course i cannot decide), that your father and sister, in their civilities and invitations, were designing a match between the heir and the young lady, and it was impossible that such a match should have answered his ideas of wealth and independence. that was his motive for drawing back, i can assure you. he told me the whole story. he had no concealments with me. it was curious, that having just left you behind me in bath, my first and principal acquaintance on marrying should be your cousin; and that, through him, i should be continually hearing of your father and sister. he described one miss elliot, and i thought very affectionately of the other." "perhaps," cried anne, struck by a sudden idea, "you sometimes spoke of me to mr elliot?" "to be sure i did; very often. i used to boast of my own anne elliot, and vouch for your being a very different creature from--" she checked herself just in time. "this accounts for something which mr elliot said last night," cried anne. "this explains it. i found he had been used to hear of me. i could not comprehend how. what wild imaginations one forms where dear self is concerned! how sure to be mistaken! but i beg your pardon; i have interrupted you. mr elliot married then completely for money? the circumstances, probably, which first opened your eyes to his character." mrs smith hesitated a little here. "oh! those things are too common. when one lives in the world, a man or woman's marrying for money is too common to strike one as it ought. i was very young, and associated only with the young, and we were a thoughtless, gay set, without any strict rules of conduct. we lived for enjoyment. i think differently now; time and sickness and sorrow have given me other notions; but at that period i must own i saw nothing reprehensible in what mr elliot was doing. 'to do the best for himself,' passed as a duty." "but was not she a very low woman?" "yes; which i objected to, but he would not regard. money, money, was all that he wanted. her father was a grazier, her grandfather had been a butcher, but that was all nothing. she was a fine woman, had had a decent education, was brought forward by some cousins, thrown by chance into mr elliot's company, and fell in love with him; and not a difficulty or a scruple was there on his side, with respect to her birth. all his caution was spent in being secured of the real amount of her fortune, before he committed himself. depend upon it, whatever esteem mr elliot may have for his own situation in life now, as a young man he had not the smallest value for it. his chance for the kellynch estate was something, but all the honour of the family he held as cheap as dirt. i have often heard him declare, that if baronetcies were saleable, anybody should have his for fifty pounds, arms and motto, name and livery included; but i will not pretend to repeat half that i used to hear him say on that subject. it would not be fair; and yet you ought to have proof, for what is all this but assertion, and you shall have proof." "indeed, my dear mrs smith, i want none," cried anne. "you have asserted nothing contradictory to what mr elliot appeared to be some years ago. this is all in confirmation, rather, of what we used to hear and believe. i am more curious to know why he should be so different now." "but for my satisfaction, if you will have the goodness to ring for mary; stay: i am sure you will have the still greater goodness of going yourself into my bedroom, and bringing me the small inlaid box which you will find on the upper shelf of the closet." anne, seeing her friend to be earnestly bent on it, did as she was desired. the box was brought and placed before her, and mrs smith, sighing over it as she unlocked it, said-"this is full of papers belonging to him, to my husband; a small portion only of what i had to look over when i lost him. the letter i am looking for was one written by mr elliot to him before our marriage, and happened to be saved; why, one can hardly imagine. but he was careless and immethodical, like other men, about those things; and when i came to examine his papers, i found it with others still more trivial, from different people scattered here and there, while many letters and memorandums of real importance had been destroyed. here it is; i would not burn it, because being even then very little satisfied with mr elliot, i was determined to preserve every document of former intimacy. i have now another motive for being glad that i can produce it." this was the letter, directed to "charles smith, esq. tunbridge wells," and dated from london, as far back as july, 1803:-"dear smith,--i have received yours. your kindness almost overpowers me. i wish nature had made such hearts as yours more common, but i have lived three-and-twenty years in the world, and have seen none like it. at present, believe me, i have no need of your services, being in cash again. give me joy: i have got rid of sir walter and miss. they are gone back to kellynch, and almost made me swear to visit them this summer; but my first visit to kellynch will be with a surveyor, to tell me how to bring it with best advantage to the hammer. the baronet, nevertheless, is not unlikely to marry again; he is quite fool enough. if he does, however, they will leave me in peace, which may be a decent equivalent for the reversion. he is worse than last year. "i wish i had any name but elliot. i am sick of it. the name of walter i can drop, thank god! and i desire you will never insult me with my second w. again, meaning, for the rest of my life, to be only yours truly,--wm. elliot." such a letter could not be read without putting anne in a glow; and mrs smith, observing the high colour in her face, said-"the language, i know, is highly disrespectful. though i have forgot the exact terms, i have a perfect impression of the general meaning. but it shows you the man. mark his professions to my poor husband. can any thing be stronger?" anne could not immediately get over the shock and mortification of finding such words applied to her father. she was obliged to recollect that her seeing the letter was a violation of the laws of honour, that no one ought to be judged or to be known by such testimonies, that no private correspondence could bear the eye of others, before she could recover calmness enough to return the letter which she had been meditating over, and say-"thank you. this is full proof undoubtedly; proof of every thing you were saying. but why be acquainted with us now?" "i can explain this too," cried mrs smith, smiling. "can you really?" "yes. i have shewn you mr elliot as he was a dozen years ago, and i will shew him as he is now. i cannot produce written proof again, but i can give as authentic oral testimony as you can desire, of what he is now wanting, and what he is now doing. he is no hypocrite now. he truly wants to marry you. his present attentions to your family are very sincere: quite from the heart. i will give you my authority: his friend colonel wallis." "colonel wallis! you are acquainted with him?" "no. it does not come to me in quite so direct a line as that; it takes a bend or two, but nothing of consequence. the stream is as good as at first; the little rubbish it collects in the turnings is easily moved away. mr elliot talks unreservedly to colonel wallis of his views on you, which said colonel wallis, i imagine to be, in himself, a sensible, careful, discerning sort of character; but colonel wallis has a very pretty silly wife, to whom he tells things which he had better not, and he repeats it all to her. she in the overflowing spirits of her recovery, repeats it all to her nurse; and the nurse knowing my acquaintance with you, very naturally brings it all to me. on monday evening, my good friend mrs rooke let me thus much into the secrets of marlborough buildings. when i talked of a whole history, therefore, you see i was not romancing so much as you supposed." "my dear mrs smith, your authority is deficient. this will not do. mr elliot's having any views on me will not in the least account for the efforts he made towards a reconciliation with my father. that was all prior to my coming to bath. i found them on the most friendly terms when i arrived." "i know you did; i know it all perfectly, but--" "indeed, mrs smith, we must not expect to get real information in such a line. facts or opinions which are to pass through the hands of so many, to be misconceived by folly in one, and ignorance in another, can hardly have much truth left." "only give me a hearing. you will soon be able to judge of the general credit due, by listening to some particulars which you can yourself immediately contradict or confirm. nobody supposes that you were his first inducement. he had seen you indeed, before he came to bath, and admired you, but without knowing it to be you. so says my historian, at least. is this true? did he see you last summer or autumn, 'somewhere down in the west,' to use her own words, without knowing it to be you?" "he certainly did. so far it is very true. at lyme. i happened to be at lyme." "well," continued mrs smith, triumphantly, "grant my friend the credit due to the establishment of the first point asserted. he saw you then at lyme, and liked you so well as to be exceedingly pleased to meet with you again in camden place, as miss anne elliot, and from that moment, i have no doubt, had a double motive in his visits there. but there was another, and an earlier, which i will now explain. if there is anything in my story which you know to be either false or improbable, stop me. my account states, that your sister's friend, the lady now staying with you, whom i have heard you mention, came to bath with miss elliot and sir walter as long ago as september (in short when they first came themselves), and has been staying there ever since; that she is a clever, insinuating, handsome woman, poor and plausible, and altogether such in situation and manner, as to give a general idea, among sir walter's acquaintance, of her meaning to be lady elliot, and as general a surprise that miss elliot should be apparently, blind to the danger." here mrs smith paused a moment; but anne had not a word to say, and she continued-"this was the light in which it appeared to those who knew the family, long before you returned to it; and colonel wallis had his eye upon your father enough to be sensible of it, though he did not then visit in camden place; but his regard for mr elliot gave him an interest in watching all that was going on there, and when mr elliot came to bath for a day or two, as he happened to do a little before christmas, colonel wallis made him acquainted with the appearance of things, and the reports beginning to prevail. now you are to understand, that time had worked a very material change in mr elliot's opinions as to the value of a baronetcy. upon all points of blood and connexion he is a completely altered man. having long had as much money as he could spend, nothing to wish for on the side of avarice or indulgence, he has been gradually learning to pin his happiness upon the consequence he is heir to. i thought it coming on before our acquaintance ceased, but it is now a confirmed feeling. he cannot bear the idea of not being sir william. you may guess, therefore, that the news he heard from his friend could not be very agreeable, and you may guess what it produced; the resolution of coming back to bath as soon as possible, and of fixing himself here for a time, with the view of renewing his former acquaintance, and recovering such a footing in the family as might give him the means of ascertaining the degree of his danger, and of circumventing the lady if he found it material. this was agreed upon between the two friends as the only thing to be done; and colonel wallis was to assist in every way that he could. he was to be introduced, and mrs wallis was to be introduced, and everybody was to be introduced. mr elliot came back accordingly; and on application was forgiven, as you know, and re-admitted into the family; and there it was his constant object, and his only object (till your arrival added another motive), to watch sir walter and mrs clay. he omitted no opportunity of being with them, threw himself in their way, called at all hours; but i need not be particular on this subject. you can imagine what an artful man would do; and with this guide, perhaps, may recollect what you have seen him do." "yes," said anne, "you tell me nothing which does not accord with what i have known, or could imagine. there is always something offensive in the details of cunning. the manoeuvres of selfishness and duplicity must ever be revolting, but i have heard nothing which really surprises me. i know those who would be shocked by such a representation of mr elliot, who would have difficulty in believing it; but i have never been satisfied. i have always wanted some other motive for his conduct than appeared. i should like to know his present opinion, as to the probability of the event he has been in dread of; whether he considers the danger to be lessening or not." "lessening, i understand," replied mrs smith. "he thinks mrs clay afraid of him, aware that he sees through her, and not daring to proceed as she might do in his absence. but since he must be absent some time or other, i do not perceive how he can ever be secure while she holds her present influence. mrs wallis has an amusing idea, as nurse tells me, that it is to be put into the marriage articles when you and mr elliot marry, that your father is not to marry mrs clay. a scheme, worthy of mrs wallis's understanding, by all accounts; but my sensible nurse rooke sees the absurdity of it. 'why, to be sure, ma'am,' said she, 'it would not prevent his marrying anybody else.' and, indeed, to own the truth, i do not think nurse, in her heart, is a very strenuous opposer of sir walter's making a second match. she must be allowed to be a favourer of matrimony, you know; and (since self will intrude) who can say that she may not have some flying visions of attending the next lady elliot, through mrs wallis's recommendation?" "i am very glad to know all this," said anne, after a little thoughtfulness. "it will be more painful to me in some respects to be in company with him, but i shall know better what to do. my line of conduct will be more direct. mr elliot is evidently a disingenuous, artificial, worldly man, who has never had any better principle to guide him than selfishness." but mr elliot was not done with. mrs smith had been carried away from her first direction, and anne had forgotten, in the interest of her own family concerns, how much had been originally implied against him; but her attention was now called to the explanation of those first hints, and she listened to a recital which, if it did not perfectly justify the unqualified bitterness of mrs smith, proved him to have been very unfeeling in his conduct towards her; very deficient both in justice and compassion. she learned that (the intimacy between them continuing unimpaired by mr elliot's marriage) they had been as before always together, and mr elliot had led his friend into expenses much beyond his fortune. mrs smith did not want to take blame to herself, and was most tender of throwing any on her husband; but anne could collect that their income had never been equal to their style of living, and that from the first there had been a great deal of general and joint extravagance. from his wife's account of him she could discern mr smith to have been a man of warm feelings, easy temper, careless habits, and not strong understanding, much more amiable than his friend, and very unlike him, led by him, and probably despised by him. mr elliot, raised by his marriage to great affluence, and disposed to every gratification of pleasure and vanity which could be commanded without involving himself, (for with all his self-indulgence he had become a prudent man), and beginning to be rich, just as his friend ought to have found himself to be poor, seemed to have had no concern at all for that friend's probable finances, but, on the contrary, had been prompting and encouraging expenses which could end only in ruin; and the smiths accordingly had been ruined. the husband had died just in time to be spared the full knowledge of it. they had previously known embarrassments enough to try the friendship of their friends, and to prove that mr elliot's had better not be tried; but it was not till his death that the wretched state of his affairs was fully known. with a confidence in mr elliot's regard, more creditable to his feelings than his judgement, mr smith had appointed him the executor of his will; but mr elliot would not act, and the difficulties and distress which this refusal had heaped on her, in addition to the inevitable sufferings of her situation, had been such as could not be related without anguish of spirit, or listened to without corresponding indignation. anne was shewn some letters of his on the occasion, answers to urgent applications from mrs smith, which all breathed the same stern resolution of not engaging in a fruitless trouble, and, under a cold civility, the same hard-hearted indifference to any of the evils it might bring on her. it was a dreadful picture of ingratitude and inhumanity; and anne felt, at some moments, that no flagrant open crime could have been worse. she had a great deal to listen to; all the particulars of past sad scenes, all the minutiae of distress upon distress, which in former conversations had been merely hinted at, were dwelt on now with a natural indulgence. anne could perfectly comprehend the exquisite relief, and was only the more inclined to wonder at the composure of her friend's usual state of mind. there was one circumstance in the history of her grievances of particular irritation. she had good reason to believe that some property of her husband in the west indies, which had been for many years under a sort of sequestration for the payment of its own incumbrances, might be recoverable by proper measures; and this property, though not large, would be enough to make her comparatively rich. but there was nobody to stir in it. mr elliot would do nothing, and she could do nothing herself, equally disabled from personal exertion by her state of bodily weakness, and from employing others by her want of money. she had no natural connexions to assist her even with their counsel, and she could not afford to purchase the assistance of the law. this was a cruel aggravation of actually straitened means. to feel that she ought to be in better circumstances, that a little trouble in the right place might do it, and to fear that delay might be even weakening her claims, was hard to bear. it was on this point that she had hoped to engage anne's good offices with mr elliot. she had previously, in the anticipation of their marriage, been very apprehensive of losing her friend by it; but on being assured that he could have made no attempt of that nature, since he did not even know her to be in bath, it immediately occurred, that something might be done in her favour by the influence of the woman he loved, and she had been hastily preparing to interest anne's feelings, as far as the observances due to mr elliot's character would allow, when anne's refutation of the supposed engagement changed the face of everything; and while it took from her the new-formed hope of succeeding in the object of her first anxiety, left her at least the comfort of telling the whole story her own way. after listening to this full description of mr elliot, anne could not but express some surprise at mrs smith's having spoken of him so favourably in the beginning of their conversation. "she had seemed to recommend and praise him!" "my dear," was mrs smith's reply, "there was nothing else to be done. i considered your marrying him as certain, though he might not yet have made the offer, and i could no more speak the truth of him, than if he had been your husband. my heart bled for you, as i talked of happiness; and yet he is sensible, he is agreeable, and with such a woman as you, it was not absolutely hopeless. he was very unkind to his first wife. they were wretched together. but she was too ignorant and giddy for respect, and he had never loved her. i was willing to hope that you must fare better." anne could just acknowledge within herself such a possibility of having been induced to marry him, as made her shudder at the idea of the misery which must have followed. it was just possible that she might have been persuaded by lady russell! and under such a supposition, which would have been most miserable, when time had disclosed all, too late? it was very desirable that lady russell should be no longer deceived; and one of the concluding arrangements of this important conference, which carried them through the greater part of the morning, was, that anne had full liberty to communicate to her friend everything relative to mrs smith, in which his conduct was involved. chapter 22 anne went home to think over all that she had heard. in one point, her feelings were relieved by this knowledge of mr elliot. there was no longer anything of tenderness due to him. he stood as opposed to captain wentworth, in all his own unwelcome obtrusiveness; and the evil of his attentions last night, the irremediable mischief he might have done, was considered with sensations unqualified, unperplexed. pity for him was all over. but this was the only point of relief. in every other respect, in looking around her, or penetrating forward, she saw more to distrust and to apprehend. she was concerned for the disappointment and pain lady russell would be feeling; for the mortifications which must be hanging over her father and sister, and had all the distress of foreseeing many evils, without knowing how to avert any one of them. she was most thankful for her own knowledge of him. she had never considered herself as entitled to reward for not slighting an old friend like mrs smith, but here was a reward indeed springing from it! mrs smith had been able to tell her what no one else could have done. could the knowledge have been extended through her family? but this was a vain idea. she must talk to lady russell, tell her, consult with her, and having done her best, wait the event with as much composure as possible; and after all, her greatest want of composure would be in that quarter of the mind which could not be opened to lady russell; in that flow of anxieties and fears which must be all to herself. she found, on reaching home, that she had, as she intended, escaped seeing mr elliot; that he had called and paid them a long morning visit; but hardly had she congratulated herself, and felt safe, when she heard that he was coming again in the evening. "i had not the smallest intention of asking him," said elizabeth, with affected carelessness, "but he gave so many hints; so mrs clay says, at least." "indeed, i do say it. i never saw anybody in my life spell harder for an invitation. poor man! i was really in pain for him; for your hard-hearted sister, miss anne, seems bent on cruelty." "oh!" cried elizabeth, "i have been rather too much used to the game to be soon overcome by a gentleman's hints. however, when i found how excessively he was regretting that he should miss my father this morning, i gave way immediately, for i would never really omit an opportunity of bringing him and sir walter together. they appear to so much advantage in company with each other. each behaving so pleasantly. mr elliot looking up with so much respect." "quite delightful!" cried mrs clay, not daring, however, to turn her eyes towards anne. "exactly like father and son! dear miss elliot, may i not say father and son?" "oh! i lay no embargo on any body's words. if you will have such ideas! but, upon my word, i am scarcely sensible of his attentions being beyond those of other men." "my dear miss elliot!" exclaimed mrs clay, lifting her hands and eyes, and sinking all the rest of her astonishment in a convenient silence. "well, my dear penelope, you need not be so alarmed about him. i did invite him, you know. i sent him away with smiles. when i found he was really going to his friends at thornberry park for the whole day to-morrow, i had compassion on him." anne admired the good acting of the friend, in being able to shew such pleasure as she did, in the expectation and in the actual arrival of the very person whose presence must really be interfering with her prime object. it was impossible but that mrs clay must hate the sight of mr elliot; and yet she could assume a most obliging, placid look, and appear quite satisfied with the curtailed license of devoting herself only half as much to sir walter as she would have done otherwise. to anne herself it was most distressing to see mr elliot enter the room; and quite painful to have him approach and speak to her. she had been used before to feel that he could not be always quite sincere, but now she saw insincerity in everything. his attentive deference to her father, contrasted with his former language, was odious; and when she thought of his cruel conduct towards mrs smith, she could hardly bear the sight of his present smiles and mildness, or the sound of his artificial good sentiments. she meant to avoid any such alteration of manners as might provoke a remonstrance on his side. it was a great object to her to escape all enquiry or eclat; but it was her intention to be as decidedly cool to him as might be compatible with their relationship; and to retrace, as quietly as she could, the few steps of unnecessary intimacy she had been gradually led along. she was accordingly more guarded, and more cool, than she had been the night before. he wanted to animate her curiosity again as to how and where he could have heard her formerly praised; wanted very much to be gratified by more solicitation; but the charm was broken: he found that the heat and animation of a public room was necessary to kindle his modest cousin's vanity; he found, at least, that it was not to be done now, by any of those attempts which he could hazard among the too-commanding claims of the others. he little surmised that it was a subject acting now exactly against his interest, bringing immediately to her thoughts all those parts of his conduct which were least excusable. she had some satisfaction in finding that he was really going out of bath the next morning, going early, and that he would be gone the greater part of two days. he was invited again to camden place the very evening of his return; but from thursday to saturday evening his absence was certain. it was bad enough that a mrs clay should be always before her; but that a deeper hypocrite should be added to their party, seemed the destruction of everything like peace and comfort. it was so humiliating to reflect on the constant deception practised on her father and elizabeth; to consider the various sources of mortification preparing for them! mrs clay's selfishness was not so complicate nor so revolting as his; and anne would have compounded for the marriage at once, with all its evils, to be clear of mr elliot's subtleties in endeavouring to prevent it. on friday morning she meant to go very early to lady russell, and accomplish the necessary communication; and she would have gone directly after breakfast, but that mrs clay was also going out on some obliging purpose of saving her sister trouble, which determined her to wait till she might be safe from such a companion. she saw mrs clay fairly off, therefore, before she began to talk of spending the morning in rivers street. "very well," said elizabeth, "i have nothing to send but my love. oh! you may as well take back that tiresome book she would lend me, and pretend i have read it through. i really cannot be plaguing myself for ever with all the new poems and states of the nation that come out. lady russell quite bores one with her new publications. you need not tell her so, but i thought her dress hideous the other night. i used to think she had some taste in dress, but i was ashamed of her at the concert. something so formal and _arrangã©_ in her air! and she sits so upright! my best love, of course." "and mine," added sir walter. "kindest regards. and you may say, that i mean to call upon her soon. make a civil message; but i shall only leave my card. morning visits are never fair by women at her time of life, who make themselves up so little. if she would only wear rouge she would not be afraid of being seen; but last time i called, i observed the blinds were let down immediately." while her father spoke, there was a knock at the door. who could it be? anne, remembering the preconcerted visits, at all hours, of mr elliot, would have expected him, but for his known engagement seven miles off. after the usual period of suspense, the usual sounds of approach were heard, and "mr and mrs charles musgrove" were ushered into the room. surprise was the strongest emotion raised by their appearance; but anne was really glad to see them; and the others were not so sorry but that they could put on a decent air of welcome; and as soon as it became clear that these, their nearest relations, were not arrived with any views of accommodation in that house, sir walter and elizabeth were able to rise in cordiality, and do the honours of it very well. they were come to bath for a few days with mrs musgrove, and were at the white hart. so much was pretty soon understood; but till sir walter and elizabeth were walking mary into the other drawing-room, and regaling themselves with her admiration, anne could not draw upon charles's brain for a regular history of their coming, or an explanation of some smiling hints of particular business, which had been ostentatiously dropped by mary, as well as of some apparent confusion as to whom their party consisted of. she then found that it consisted of mrs musgrove, henrietta, and captain harville, beside their two selves. he gave her a very plain, intelligible account of the whole; a narration in which she saw a great deal of most characteristic proceeding. the scheme had received its first impulse by captain harville's wanting to come to bath on business. he had begun to talk of it a week ago; and by way of doing something, as shooting was over, charles had proposed coming with him, and mrs harville had seemed to like the idea of it very much, as an advantage to her husband; but mary could not bear to be left, and had made herself so unhappy about it, that for a day or two everything seemed to be in suspense, or at an end. but then, it had been taken up by his father and mother. his mother had some old friends in bath whom she wanted to see; it was thought a good opportunity for henrietta to come and buy wedding-clothes for herself and her sister; and, in short, it ended in being his mother's party, that everything might be comfortable and easy to captain harville; and he and mary were included in it by way of general convenience. they had arrived late the night before. mrs harville, her children, and captain benwick, remained with mr musgrove and louisa at uppercross. anne's only surprise was, that affairs should be in forwardness enough for henrietta's wedding-clothes to be talked of. she had imagined such difficulties of fortune to exist there as must prevent the marriage from being near at hand; but she learned from charles that, very recently, (since mary's last letter to herself), charles hayter had been applied to by a friend to hold a living for a youth who could not possibly claim it under many years; and that on the strength of his present income, with almost a certainty of something more permanent long before the term in question, the two families had consented to the young people's wishes, and that their marriage was likely to take place in a few months, quite as soon as louisa's. "and a very good living it was," charles added: "only five-and-twenty miles from uppercross, and in a very fine country: fine part of dorsetshire. in the centre of some of the best preserves in the kingdom, surrounded by three great proprietors, each more careful and jealous than the other; and to two of the three at least, charles hayter might get a special recommendation. not that he will value it as he ought," he observed, "charles is too cool about sporting. that's the worst of him." "i am extremely glad, indeed," cried anne, "particularly glad that this should happen; and that of two sisters, who both deserve equally well, and who have always been such good friends, the pleasant prospect of one should not be dimming those of the other--that they should be so equal in their prosperity and comfort. i hope your father and mother are quite happy with regard to both." "oh! yes. my father would be well pleased if the gentlemen were richer, but he has no other fault to find. money, you know, coming down with money--two daughters at once--it cannot be a very agreeable operation, and it streightens him as to many things. however, i do not mean to say they have not a right to it. it is very fit they should have daughters' shares; and i am sure he has always been a very kind, liberal father to me. mary does not above half like henrietta's match. she never did, you know. but she does not do him justice, nor think enough about winthrop. i cannot make her attend to the value of the property. it is a very fair match, as times go; and i have liked charles hayter all my life, and i shall not leave off now." "such excellent parents as mr and mrs musgrove," exclaimed anne, "should be happy in their children's marriages. they do everything to confer happiness, i am sure. what a blessing to young people to be in such hands! your father and mother seem so totally free from all those ambitious feelings which have led to so much misconduct and misery, both in young and old. i hope you think louisa perfectly recovered now?" he answered rather hesitatingly, "yes, i believe i do; very much recovered; but she is altered; there is no running or jumping about, no laughing or dancing; it is quite different. if one happens only to shut the door a little hard, she starts and wriggles like a young dab-chick in the water; and benwick sits at her elbow, reading verses, or whispering to her, all day long." anne could not help laughing. "that cannot be much to your taste, i know," said she; "but i do believe him to be an excellent young man." "to be sure he is. nobody doubts it; and i hope you do not think i am so illiberal as to want every man to have the same objects and pleasures as myself. i have a great value for benwick; and when one can but get him to talk, he has plenty to say. his reading has done him no harm, for he has fought as well as read. he is a brave fellow. i got more acquainted with him last monday than ever i did before. we had a famous set-to at rat-hunting all the morning in my father's great barns; and he played his part so well that i have liked him the better ever since." here they were interrupted by the absolute necessity of charles's following the others to admire mirrors and china; but anne had heard enough to understand the present state of uppercross, and rejoice in its happiness; and though she sighed as she rejoiced, her sigh had none of the ill-will of envy in it. she would certainly have risen to their blessings if she could, but she did not want to lessen theirs. the visit passed off altogether in high good humour. mary was in excellent spirits, enjoying the gaiety and the change, and so well satisfied with the journey in her mother-in-law's carriage with four horses, and with her own complete independence of camden place, that she was exactly in a temper to admire everything as she ought, and enter most readily into all the superiorities of the house, as they were detailed to her. she had no demands on her father or sister, and her consequence was just enough increased by their handsome drawing-rooms. elizabeth was, for a short time, suffering a good deal. she felt that mrs musgrove and all her party ought to be asked to dine with them; but she could not bear to have the difference of style, the reduction of servants, which a dinner must betray, witnessed by those who had been always so inferior to the elliots of kellynch. it was a struggle between propriety and vanity; but vanity got the better, and then elizabeth was happy again. these were her internal persuasions: "old fashioned notions; country hospitality; we do not profess to give dinners; few people in bath do; lady alicia never does; did not even ask her own sister's family, though they were here a month: and i dare say it would be very inconvenient to mrs musgrove; put her quite out of her way. i am sure she would rather not come; she cannot feel easy with us. i will ask them all for an evening; that will be much better; that will be a novelty and a treat. they have not seen two such drawing rooms before. they will be delighted to come to-morrow evening. it shall be a regular party, small, but most elegant." and this satisfied elizabeth: and when the invitation was given to the two present, and promised for the absent, mary was as completely satisfied. she was particularly asked to meet mr elliot, and be introduced to lady dalrymple and miss carteret, who were fortunately already engaged to come; and she could not have received a more gratifying attention. miss elliot was to have the honour of calling on mrs musgrove in the course of the morning; and anne walked off with charles and mary, to go and see her and henrietta directly. her plan of sitting with lady russell must give way for the present. they all three called in rivers street for a couple of minutes; but anne convinced herself that a day's delay of the intended communication could be of no consequence, and hastened forward to the white hart, to see again the friends and companions of the last autumn, with an eagerness of good-will which many associations contributed to form. they found mrs musgrove and her daughter within, and by themselves, and anne had the kindest welcome from each. henrietta was exactly in that state of recently-improved views, of fresh-formed happiness, which made her full of regard and interest for everybody she had ever liked before at all; and mrs musgrove's real affection had been won by her usefulness when they were in distress. it was a heartiness, and a warmth, and a sincerity which anne delighted in the more, from the sad want of such blessings at home. she was entreated to give them as much of her time as possible, invited for every day and all day long, or rather claimed as part of the family; and, in return, she naturally fell into all her wonted ways of attention and assistance, and on charles's leaving them together, was listening to mrs musgrove's history of louisa, and to henrietta's of herself, giving opinions on business, and recommendations to shops; with intervals of every help which mary required, from altering her ribbon to settling her accounts; from finding her keys, and assorting her trinkets, to trying to convince her that she was not ill-used by anybody; which mary, well amused as she generally was, in her station at a window overlooking the entrance to the pump room, could not but have her moments of imagining. a morning of thorough confusion was to be expected. a large party in an hotel ensured a quick-changing, unsettled scene. one five minutes brought a note, the next a parcel; and anne had not been there half an hour, when their dining-room, spacious as it was, seemed more than half filled: a party of steady old friends were seated around mrs musgrove, and charles came back with captains harville and wentworth. the appearance of the latter could not be more than the surprise of the moment. it was impossible for her to have forgotten to feel that this arrival of their common friends must be soon bringing them together again. their last meeting had been most important in opening his feelings; she had derived from it a delightful conviction; but she feared from his looks, that the same unfortunate persuasion, which had hastened him away from the concert room, still governed. he did not seem to want to be near enough for conversation. she tried to be calm, and leave things to take their course, and tried to dwell much on this argument of rational dependence:--"surely, if there be constant attachment on each side, our hearts must understand each other ere long. we are not boy and girl, to be captiously irritable, misled by every moment's inadvertence, and wantonly playing with our own happiness." and yet, a few minutes afterwards, she felt as if their being in company with each other, under their present circumstances, could only be exposing them to inadvertencies and misconstructions of the most mischievous kind. "anne," cried mary, still at her window, "there is mrs clay, i am sure, standing under the colonnade, and a gentleman with her. i saw them turn the corner from bath street just now. they seemed deep in talk. who is it? come, and tell me. good heavens! i recollect. it is mr elliot himself." "no," cried anne, quickly, "it cannot be mr elliot, i assure you. he was to leave bath at nine this morning, and does not come back till to-morrow." as she spoke, she felt that captain wentworth was looking at her, the consciousness of which vexed and embarrassed her, and made her regret that she had said so much, simple as it was. mary, resenting that she should be supposed not to know her own cousin, began talking very warmly about the family features, and protesting still more positively that it was mr elliot, calling again upon anne to come and look for herself, but anne did not mean to stir, and tried to be cool and unconcerned. her distress returned, however, on perceiving smiles and intelligent glances pass between two or three of the lady visitors, as if they believed themselves quite in the secret. it was evident that the report concerning her had spread, and a short pause succeeded, which seemed to ensure that it would now spread farther. "do come, anne," cried mary, "come and look yourself. you will be too late if you do not make haste. they are parting; they are shaking hands. he is turning away. not know mr elliot, indeed! you seem to have forgot all about lyme." to pacify mary, and perhaps screen her own embarrassment, anne did move quietly to the window. she was just in time to ascertain that it really was mr elliot, which she had never believed, before he disappeared on one side, as mrs clay walked quickly off on the other; and checking the surprise which she could not but feel at such an appearance of friendly conference between two persons of totally opposite interest, she calmly said, "yes, it is mr elliot, certainly. he has changed his hour of going, i suppose, that is all, or i may be mistaken, i might not attend;" and walked back to her chair, recomposed, and with the comfortable hope of having acquitted herself well. the visitors took their leave; and charles, having civilly seen them off, and then made a face at them, and abused them for coming, began with-"well, mother, i have done something for you that you will like. i have been to the theatre, and secured a box for to-morrow night. a'n't i a good boy? i know you love a play; and there is room for us all. it holds nine. i have engaged captain wentworth. anne will not be sorry to join us, i am sure. we all like a play. have not i done well, mother?" mrs musgrove was good humouredly beginning to express her perfect readiness for the play, if henrietta and all the others liked it, when mary eagerly interrupted her by exclaiming-"good heavens, charles! how can you think of such a thing? take a box for to-morrow night! have you forgot that we are engaged to camden place to-morrow night? and that we were most particularly asked to meet lady dalrymple and her daughter, and mr elliot, and all the principal family connexions, on purpose to be introduced to them? how can you be so forgetful?" "phoo! phoo!" replied charles, "what's an evening party? never worth remembering. your father might have asked us to dinner, i think, if he had wanted to see us. you may do as you like, but i shall go to the play." "oh! charles, i declare it will be too abominable if you do, when you promised to go." "no, i did not promise. i only smirked and bowed, and said the word 'happy.' there was no promise." "but you must go, charles. it would be unpardonable to fail. we were asked on purpose to be introduced. there was always such a great connexion between the dalrymples and ourselves. nothing ever happened on either side that was not announced immediately. we are quite near relations, you know; and mr elliot too, whom you ought so particularly to be acquainted with! every attention is due to mr elliot. consider, my father's heir: the future representative of the family." "don't talk to me about heirs and representatives," cried charles. "i am not one of those who neglect the reigning power to bow to the rising sun. if i would not go for the sake of your father, i should think it scandalous to go for the sake of his heir. what is mr elliot to me?" the careless expression was life to anne, who saw that captain wentworth was all attention, looking and listening with his whole soul; and that the last words brought his enquiring eyes from charles to herself. charles and mary still talked on in the same style; he, half serious and half jesting, maintaining the scheme for the play, and she, invariably serious, most warmly opposing it, and not omitting to make it known that, however determined to go to camden place herself, she should not think herself very well used, if they went to the play without her. mrs musgrove interposed. "we had better put it off. charles, you had much better go back and change the box for tuesday. it would be a pity to be divided, and we should be losing miss anne, too, if there is a party at her father's; and i am sure neither henrietta nor i should care at all for the play, if miss anne could not be with us." anne felt truly obliged to her for such kindness; and quite as much so for the opportunity it gave her of decidedly saying-"if it depended only on my inclination, ma'am, the party at home (excepting on mary's account) would not be the smallest impediment. i have no pleasure in the sort of meeting, and should be too happy to change it for a play, and with you. but, it had better not be attempted, perhaps." she had spoken it; but she trembled when it was done, conscious that her words were listened to, and daring not even to try to observe their effect. it was soon generally agreed that tuesday should be the day; charles only reserving the advantage of still teasing his wife, by persisting that he would go to the play to-morrow if nobody else would. captain wentworth left his seat, and walked to the fire-place; probably for the sake of walking away from it soon afterwards, and taking a station, with less bare-faced design, by anne. "you have not been long enough in bath," said he, "to enjoy the evening parties of the place." "oh! no. the usual character of them has nothing for me. i am no card-player." "you were not formerly, i know. you did not use to like cards; but time makes many changes." "i am not yet so much changed," cried anne, and stopped, fearing she hardly knew what misconstruction. after waiting a few moments he said, and as if it were the result of immediate feeling, "it is a period, indeed! eight years and a half is a period." whether he would have proceeded farther was left to anne's imagination to ponder over in a calmer hour; for while still hearing the sounds he had uttered, she was startled to other subjects by henrietta, eager to make use of the present leisure for getting out, and calling on her companions to lose no time, lest somebody else should come in. they were obliged to move. anne talked of being perfectly ready, and tried to look it; but she felt that could henrietta have known the regret and reluctance of her heart in quitting that chair, in preparing to quit the room, she would have found, in all her own sensations for her cousin, in the very security of his affection, wherewith to pity her. their preparations, however, were stopped short. alarming sounds were heard; other visitors approached, and the door was thrown open for sir walter and miss elliot, whose entrance seemed to give a general chill. anne felt an instant oppression, and wherever she looked saw symptoms of the same. the comfort, the freedom, the gaiety of the room was over, hushed into cold composure, determined silence, or insipid talk, to meet the heartless elegance of her father and sister. how mortifying to feel that it was so! her jealous eye was satisfied in one particular. captain wentworth was acknowledged again by each, by elizabeth more graciously than before. she even addressed him once, and looked at him more than once. elizabeth was, in fact, revolving a great measure. the sequel explained it. after the waste of a few minutes in saying the proper nothings, she began to give the invitation which was to comprise all the remaining dues of the musgroves. "to-morrow evening, to meet a few friends: no formal party." it was all said very gracefully, and the cards with which she had provided herself, the "miss elliot at home," were laid on the table, with a courteous, comprehensive smile to all, and one smile and one card more decidedly for captain wentworth. the truth was, that elizabeth had been long enough in bath to understand the importance of a man of such an air and appearance as his. the past was nothing. the present was that captain wentworth would move about well in her drawing-room. the card was pointedly given, and sir walter and elizabeth arose and disappeared. the interruption had been short, though severe, and ease and animation returned to most of those they left as the door shut them out, but not to anne. she could think only of the invitation she had with such astonishment witnessed, and of the manner in which it had been received; a manner of doubtful meaning, of surprise rather than gratification, of polite acknowledgement rather than acceptance. she knew him; she saw disdain in his eye, and could not venture to believe that he had determined to accept such an offering, as an atonement for all the insolence of the past. her spirits sank. he held the card in his hand after they were gone, as if deeply considering it. "only think of elizabeth's including everybody!" whispered mary very audibly. "i do not wonder captain wentworth is delighted! you see he cannot put the card out of his hand." anne caught his eye, saw his cheeks glow, and his mouth form itself into a momentary expression of contempt, and turned away, that she might neither see nor hear more to vex her. the party separated. the gentlemen had their own pursuits, the ladies proceeded on their own business, and they met no more while anne belonged to them. she was earnestly begged to return and dine, and give them all the rest of the day, but her spirits had been so long exerted that at present she felt unequal to more, and fit only for home, where she might be sure of being as silent as she chose. promising to be with them the whole of the following morning, therefore, she closed the fatigues of the present by a toilsome walk to camden place, there to spend the evening chiefly in listening to the busy arrangements of elizabeth and mrs clay for the morrow's party, the frequent enumeration of the persons invited, and the continually improving detail of all the embellishments which were to make it the most completely elegant of its kind in bath, while harassing herself with the never-ending question, of whether captain wentworth would come or not? they were reckoning him as certain, but with her it was a gnawing solicitude never appeased for five minutes together. she generally thought he would come, because she generally thought he ought; but it was a case which she could not so shape into any positive act of duty or discretion, as inevitably to defy the suggestions of very opposite feelings. she only roused herself from the broodings of this restless agitation, to let mrs clay know that she had been seen with mr elliot three hours after his being supposed to be out of bath, for having watched in vain for some intimation of the interview from the lady herself, she determined to mention it, and it seemed to her there was guilt in mrs clay's face as she listened. it was transient: cleared away in an instant; but anne could imagine she read there the consciousness of having, by some complication of mutual trick, or some overbearing authority of his, been obliged to attend (perhaps for half an hour) to his lectures and restrictions on her designs on sir walter. she exclaimed, however, with a very tolerable imitation of nature:-"oh! dear! very true. only think, miss elliot, to my great surprise i met with mr elliot in bath street. i was never more astonished. he turned back and walked with me to the pump yard. he had been prevented setting off for thornberry, but i really forget by what; for i was in a hurry, and could not much attend, and i can only answer for his being determined not to be delayed in his return. he wanted to know how early he might be admitted to-morrow. he was full of 'to-morrow,' and it is very evident that i have been full of it too, ever since i entered the house, and learnt the extension of your plan and all that had happened, or my seeing him could never have gone so entirely out of my head." chapter 23 one day only had passed since anne's conversation with mrs smith; but a keener interest had succeeded, and she was now so little touched by mr elliot's conduct, except by its effects in one quarter, that it became a matter of course the next morning, still to defer her explanatory visit in rivers street. she had promised to be with the musgroves from breakfast to dinner. her faith was plighted, and mr elliot's character, like the sultaness scheherazade's head, must live another day. she could not keep her appointment punctually, however; the weather was unfavourable, and she had grieved over the rain on her friends' account, and felt it very much on her own, before she was able to attempt the walk. when she reached the white hart, and made her way to the proper apartment, she found herself neither arriving quite in time, nor the first to arrive. the party before her were, mrs musgrove, talking to mrs croft, and captain harville to captain wentworth; and she immediately heard that mary and henrietta, too impatient to wait, had gone out the moment it had cleared, but would be back again soon, and that the strictest injunctions had been left with mrs musgrove to keep her there till they returned. she had only to submit, sit down, be outwardly composed, and feel herself plunged at once in all the agitations which she had merely laid her account of tasting a little before the morning closed. there was no delay, no waste of time. she was deep in the happiness of such misery, or the misery of such happiness, instantly. two minutes after her entering the room, captain wentworth said-"we will write the letter we were talking of, harville, now, if you will give me materials." materials were at hand, on a separate table; he went to it, and nearly turning his back to them all, was engrossed by writing. mrs musgrove was giving mrs croft the history of her eldest daughter's engagement, and just in that inconvenient tone of voice which was perfectly audible while it pretended to be a whisper. anne felt that she did not belong to the conversation, and yet, as captain harville seemed thoughtful and not disposed to talk, she could not avoid hearing many undesirable particulars; such as, "how mr musgrove and my brother hayter had met again and again to talk it over; what my brother hayter had said one day, and what mr musgrove had proposed the next, and what had occurred to my sister hayter, and what the young people had wished, and what i said at first i never could consent to, but was afterwards persuaded to think might do very well," and a great deal in the same style of open-hearted communication: minutiae which, even with every advantage of taste and delicacy, which good mrs musgrove could not give, could be properly interesting only to the principals. mrs croft was attending with great good-humour, and whenever she spoke at all, it was very sensibly. anne hoped the gentlemen might each be too much self-occupied to hear. "and so, ma'am, all these thing considered," said mrs musgrove, in her powerful whisper, "though we could have wished it different, yet, altogether, we did not think it fair to stand out any longer, for charles hayter was quite wild about it, and henrietta was pretty near as bad; and so we thought they had better marry at once, and make the best of it, as many others have done before them. at any rate, said i, it will be better than a long engagement." "that is precisely what i was going to observe," cried mrs croft. "i would rather have young people settle on a small income at once, and have to struggle with a few difficulties together, than be involved in a long engagement. i always think that no mutual--" "oh! dear mrs croft," cried mrs musgrove, unable to let her finish her speech, "there is nothing i so abominate for young people as a long engagement. it is what i always protested against for my children. it is all very well, i used to say, for young people to be engaged, if there is a certainty of their being able to marry in six months, or even in twelve; but a long engagement--" "yes, dear ma'am," said mrs croft, "or an uncertain engagement, an engagement which may be long. to begin without knowing that at such a time there will be the means of marrying, i hold to be very unsafe and unwise, and what i think all parents should prevent as far as they can." anne found an unexpected interest here. she felt its application to herself, felt it in a nervous thrill all over her; and at the same moment that her eyes instinctively glanced towards the distant table, captain wentworth's pen ceased to move, his head was raised, pausing, listening, and he turned round the next instant to give a look, one quick, conscious look at her. the two ladies continued to talk, to re-urge the same admitted truths, and enforce them with such examples of the ill effect of a contrary practice as had fallen within their observation, but anne heard nothing distinctly; it was only a buzz of words in her ear, her mind was in confusion. captain harville, who had in truth been hearing none of it, now left his seat, and moved to a window, and anne seeming to watch him, though it was from thorough absence of mind, became gradually sensible that he was inviting her to join him where he stood. he looked at her with a smile, and a little motion of the head, which expressed, "come to me, i have something to say;" and the unaffected, easy kindness of manner which denoted the feelings of an older acquaintance than he really was, strongly enforced the invitation. she roused herself and went to him. the window at which he stood was at the other end of the room from where the two ladies were sitting, and though nearer to captain wentworth's table, not very near. as she joined him, captain harville's countenance re-assumed the serious, thoughtful expression which seemed its natural character. "look here," said he, unfolding a parcel in his hand, and displaying a small miniature painting, "do you know who that is?" "certainly: captain benwick." "yes, and you may guess who it is for. but," (in a deep tone,) "it was not done for her. miss elliot, do you remember our walking together at lyme, and grieving for him? i little thought then--but no matter. this was drawn at the cape. he met with a clever young german artist at the cape, and in compliance with a promise to my poor sister, sat to him, and was bringing it home for her; and i have now the charge of getting it properly set for another! it was a commission to me! but who else was there to employ? i hope i can allow for him. i am not sorry, indeed, to make it over to another. he undertakes it;" (looking towards captain wentworth,) "he is writing about it now." and with a quivering lip he wound up the whole by adding, "poor fanny! she would not have forgotten him so soon!" "no," replied anne, in a low, feeling voice. "that i can easily believe." "it was not in her nature. she doted on him." "it would not be the nature of any woman who truly loved." captain harville smiled, as much as to say, "do you claim that for your sex?" and she answered the question, smiling also, "yes. we certainly do not forget you as soon as you forget us. it is, perhaps, our fate rather than our merit. we cannot help ourselves. we live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us. you are forced on exertion. you have always a profession, pursuits, business of some sort or other, to take you back into the world immediately, and continual occupation and change soon weaken impressions." "granting your assertion that the world does all this so soon for men (which, however, i do not think i shall grant), it does not apply to benwick. he has not been forced upon any exertion. the peace turned him on shore at the very moment, and he has been living with us, in our little family circle, ever since." "true," said anne, "very true; i did not recollect; but what shall we say now, captain harville? if the change be not from outward circumstances, it must be from within; it must be nature, man's nature, which has done the business for captain benwick." "no, no, it is not man's nature. i will not allow it to be more man's nature than woman's to be inconstant and forget those they do love, or have loved. i believe the reverse. i believe in a true analogy between our bodily frames and our mental; and that as our bodies are the strongest, so are our feelings; capable of bearing most rough usage, and riding out the heaviest weather." "your feelings may be the strongest," replied anne, "but the same spirit of analogy will authorise me to assert that ours are the most tender. man is more robust than woman, but he is not longer lived; which exactly explains my view of the nature of their attachments. nay, it would be too hard upon you, if it were otherwise. you have difficulties, and privations, and dangers enough to struggle with. you are always labouring and toiling, exposed to every risk and hardship. your home, country, friends, all quitted. neither time, nor health, nor life, to be called your own. it would be hard, indeed" (with a faltering voice), "if woman's feelings were to be added to all this." "we shall never agree upon this question," captain harville was beginning to say, when a slight noise called their attention to captain wentworth's hitherto perfectly quiet division of the room. it was nothing more than that his pen had fallen down; but anne was startled at finding him nearer than she had supposed, and half inclined to suspect that the pen had only fallen because he had been occupied by them, striving to catch sounds, which yet she did not think he could have caught. "have you finished your letter?" said captain harville. "not quite, a few lines more. i shall have done in five minutes." "there is no hurry on my side. i am only ready whenever you are. i am in very good anchorage here," (smiling at anne,) "well supplied, and want for nothing. no hurry for a signal at all. well, miss elliot," (lowering his voice,) "as i was saying we shall never agree, i suppose, upon this point. no man and woman, would, probably. but let me observe that all histories are against you--all stories, prose and verse. if i had such a memory as benwick, i could bring you fifty quotations in a moment on my side the argument, and i do not think i ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman's inconstancy. songs and proverbs, all talk of woman's fickleness. but perhaps you will say, these were all written by men." "perhaps i shall. yes, yes, if you please, no reference to examples in books. men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. education has been theirs in so much higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands. i will not allow books to prove anything." "but how shall we prove anything?" "we never shall. we never can expect to prove any thing upon such a point. it is a difference of opinion which does not admit of proof. we each begin, probably, with a little bias towards our own sex; and upon that bias build every circumstance in favour of it which has occurred within our own circle; many of which circumstances (perhaps those very cases which strike us the most) may be precisely such as cannot be brought forward without betraying a confidence, or in some respect saying what should not be said." "ah!" cried captain harville, in a tone of strong feeling, "if i could but make you comprehend what a man suffers when he takes a last look at his wife and children, and watches the boat that he has sent them off in, as long as it is in sight, and then turns away and says, 'god knows whether we ever meet again!' and then, if i could convey to you the glow of his soul when he does see them again; when, coming back after a twelvemonth's absence, perhaps, and obliged to put into another port, he calculates how soon it be possible to get them there, pretending to deceive himself, and saying, 'they cannot be here till such a day,' but all the while hoping for them twelve hours sooner, and seeing them arrive at last, as if heaven had given them wings, by many hours sooner still! if i could explain to you all this, and all that a man can bear and do, and glories to do, for the sake of these treasures of his existence! i speak, you know, only of such men as have hearts!" pressing his own with emotion. "oh!" cried anne eagerly, "i hope i do justice to all that is felt by you, and by those who resemble you. god forbid that i should undervalue the warm and faithful feelings of any of my fellow-creatures! i should deserve utter contempt if i dared to suppose that true attachment and constancy were known only by woman. no, i believe you capable of everything great and good in your married lives. i believe you equal to every important exertion, and to every domestic forbearance, so long as--if i may be allowed the expression--so long as you have an object. i mean while the woman you love lives, and lives for you. all the privilege i claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one; you need not covet it), is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone." she could not immediately have uttered another sentence; her heart was too full, her breath too much oppressed. "you are a good soul," cried captain harville, putting his hand on her arm, quite affectionately. "there is no quarrelling with you. and when i think of benwick, my tongue is tied." their attention was called towards the others. mrs croft was taking leave. "here, frederick, you and i part company, i believe," said she. "i am going home, and you have an engagement with your friend. to-night we may have the pleasure of all meeting again at your party," (turning to anne.) "we had your sister's card yesterday, and i understood frederick had a card too, though i did not see it; and you are disengaged, frederick, are you not, as well as ourselves?" captain wentworth was folding up a letter in great haste, and either could not or would not answer fully. "yes," said he, "very true; here we separate, but harville and i shall soon be after you; that is, harville, if you are ready, i am in half a minute. i know you will not be sorry to be off. i shall be at your service in half a minute." mrs croft left them, and captain wentworth, having sealed his letter with great rapidity, was indeed ready, and had even a hurried, agitated air, which shewed impatience to be gone. anne knew not how to understand it. she had the kindest "good morning, god bless you!" from captain harville, but from him not a word, nor a look! he had passed out of the room without a look! she had only time, however, to move closer to the table where he had been writing, when footsteps were heard returning; the door opened, it was himself. he begged their pardon, but he had forgotten his gloves, and instantly crossing the room to the writing table, he drew out a letter from under the scattered paper, placed it before anne with eyes of glowing entreaty fixed on her for a time, and hastily collecting his gloves, was again out of the room, almost before mrs musgrove was aware of his being in it: the work of an instant! the revolution which one instant had made in anne, was almost beyond expression. the letter, with a direction hardly legible, to "miss a. e.--," was evidently the one which he had been folding so hastily. while supposed to be writing only to captain benwick, he had been also addressing her! on the contents of that letter depended all which this world could do for her. anything was possible, anything might be defied rather than suspense. mrs musgrove had little arrangements of her own at her own table; to their protection she must trust, and sinking into the chair which he had occupied, succeeding to the very spot where he had leaned and written, her eyes devoured the following words: "i can listen no longer in silence. i must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. you pierce my soul. i am half agony, half hope. tell me not that i am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. i offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. i have loved none but you. unjust i may have been, weak and resentful i have been, but never inconstant. you alone have brought me to bath. for you alone, i think and plan. have you not seen this? can you fail to have understood my wishes? i had not waited even these ten days, could i have read your feelings, as i think you must have penetrated mine. i can hardly write. i am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. you sink your voice, but i can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. too good, too excellent creature! you do us justice, indeed. you do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in f. w. "i must go, uncertain of my fate; but i shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. a word, a look, will be enough to decide whether i enter your father's house this evening or never." such a letter was not to be soon recovered from. half an hour's solitude and reflection might have tranquillized her; but the ten minutes only which now passed before she was interrupted, with all the restraints of her situation, could do nothing towards tranquillity. every moment rather brought fresh agitation. it was overpowering happiness. and before she was beyond the first stage of full sensation, charles, mary, and henrietta all came in. the absolute necessity of seeming like herself produced then an immediate struggle; but after a while she could do no more. she began not to understand a word they said, and was obliged to plead indisposition and excuse herself. they could then see that she looked very ill, were shocked and concerned, and would not stir without her for the world. this was dreadful. would they only have gone away, and left her in the quiet possession of that room it would have been her cure; but to have them all standing or waiting around her was distracting, and in desperation, she said she would go home. "by all means, my dear," cried mrs musgrove, "go home directly, and take care of yourself, that you may be fit for the evening. i wish sarah was here to doctor you, but i am no doctor myself. charles, ring and order a chair. she must not walk." but the chair would never do. worse than all! to lose the possibility of speaking two words to captain wentworth in the course of her quiet, solitary progress up the town (and she felt almost certain of meeting him) could not be borne. the chair was earnestly protested against, and mrs musgrove, who thought only of one sort of illness, having assured herself with some anxiety, that there had been no fall in the case; that anne had not at any time lately slipped down, and got a blow on her head; that she was perfectly convinced of having had no fall; could part with her cheerfully, and depend on finding her better at night. anxious to omit no possible precaution, anne struggled, and said-"i am afraid, ma'am, that it is not perfectly understood. pray be so good as to mention to the other gentlemen that we hope to see your whole party this evening. i am afraid there had been some mistake; and i wish you particularly to assure captain harville and captain wentworth, that we hope to see them both." "oh! my dear, it is quite understood, i give you my word. captain harville has no thought but of going." "do you think so? but i am afraid; and i should be so very sorry. will you promise me to mention it, when you see them again? you will see them both this morning, i dare say. do promise me." "to be sure i will, if you wish it. charles, if you see captain harville anywhere, remember to give miss anne's message. but indeed, my dear, you need not be uneasy. captain harville holds himself quite engaged, i'll answer for it; and captain wentworth the same, i dare say." anne could do no more; but her heart prophesied some mischance to damp the perfection of her felicity. it could not be very lasting, however. even if he did not come to camden place himself, it would be in her power to send an intelligible sentence by captain harville. another momentary vexation occurred. charles, in his real concern and good nature, would go home with her; there was no preventing him. this was almost cruel. but she could not be long ungrateful; he was sacrificing an engagement at a gunsmith's, to be of use to her; and she set off with him, with no feeling but gratitude apparent. they were on union street, when a quicker step behind, a something of familiar sound, gave her two moments' preparation for the sight of captain wentworth. he joined them; but, as if irresolute whether to join or to pass on, said nothing, only looked. anne could command herself enough to receive that look, and not repulsively. the cheeks which had been pale now glowed, and the movements which had hesitated were decided. he walked by her side. presently, struck by a sudden thought, charles said-"captain wentworth, which way are you going? only to gay street, or farther up the town?" "i hardly know," replied captain wentworth, surprised. "are you going as high as belmont? are you going near camden place? because, if you are, i shall have no scruple in asking you to take my place, and give anne your arm to her father's door. she is rather done for this morning, and must not go so far without help, and i ought to be at that fellow's in the market place. he promised me the sight of a capital gun he is just going to send off; said he would keep it unpacked to the last possible moment, that i might see it; and if i do not turn back now, i have no chance. by his description, a good deal like the second size double-barrel of mine, which you shot with one day round winthrop." there could not be an objection. there could be only the most proper alacrity, a most obliging compliance for public view; and smiles reined in and spirits dancing in private rapture. in half a minute charles was at the bottom of union street again, and the other two proceeding together: and soon words enough had passed between them to decide their direction towards the comparatively quiet and retired gravel walk, where the power of conversation would make the present hour a blessing indeed, and prepare it for all the immortality which the happiest recollections of their own future lives could bestow. there they exchanged again those feelings and those promises which had once before seemed to secure everything, but which had been followed by so many, many years of division and estrangement. there they returned again into the past, more exquisitely happy, perhaps, in their re-union, than when it had been first projected; more tender, more tried, more fixed in a knowledge of each other's character, truth, and attachment; more equal to act, more justified in acting. and there, as they slowly paced the gradual ascent, heedless of every group around them, seeing neither sauntering politicians, bustling housekeepers, flirting girls, nor nursery-maids and children, they could indulge in those retrospections and acknowledgements, and especially in those explanations of what had directly preceded the present moment, which were so poignant and so ceaseless in interest. all the little variations of the last week were gone through; and of yesterday and today there could scarcely be an end. she had not mistaken him. jealousy of mr elliot had been the retarding weight, the doubt, the torment. that had begun to operate in the very hour of first meeting her in bath; that had returned, after a short suspension, to ruin the concert; and that had influenced him in everything he had said and done, or omitted to say and do, in the last four-and-twenty hours. it had been gradually yielding to the better hopes which her looks, or words, or actions occasionally encouraged; it had been vanquished at last by those sentiments and those tones which had reached him while she talked with captain harville; and under the irresistible governance of which he had seized a sheet of paper, and poured out his feelings. of what he had then written, nothing was to be retracted or qualified. he persisted in having loved none but her. she had never been supplanted. he never even believed himself to see her equal. thus much indeed he was obliged to acknowledge: that he had been constant unconsciously, nay unintentionally; that he had meant to forget her, and believed it to be done. he had imagined himself indifferent, when he had only been angry; and he had been unjust to her merits, because he had been a sufferer from them. her character was now fixed on his mind as perfection itself, maintaining the loveliest medium of fortitude and gentleness; but he was obliged to acknowledge that only at uppercross had he learnt to do her justice, and only at lyme had he begun to understand himself. at lyme, he had received lessons of more than one sort. the passing admiration of mr elliot had at least roused him, and the scenes on the cobb and at captain harville's had fixed her superiority. in his preceding attempts to attach himself to louisa musgrove (the attempts of angry pride), he protested that he had for ever felt it to be impossible; that he had not cared, could not care, for louisa; though till that day, till the leisure for reflection which followed it, he had not understood the perfect excellence of the mind with which louisa's could so ill bear a comparison, or the perfect unrivalled hold it possessed over his own. there, he had learnt to distinguish between the steadiness of principle and the obstinacy of self-will, between the darings of heedlessness and the resolution of a collected mind. there he had seen everything to exalt in his estimation the woman he had lost; and there begun to deplore the pride, the folly, the madness of resentment, which had kept him from trying to regain her when thrown in his way. from that period his penance had become severe. he had no sooner been free from the horror and remorse attending the first few days of louisa's accident, no sooner begun to feel himself alive again, than he had begun to feel himself, though alive, not at liberty. "i found," said he, "that i was considered by harville an engaged man! that neither harville nor his wife entertained a doubt of our mutual attachment. i was startled and shocked. to a degree, i could contradict this instantly; but, when i began to reflect that others might have felt the same--her own family, nay, perhaps herself--i was no longer at my own disposal. i was hers in honour if she wished it. i had been unguarded. i had not thought seriously on this subject before. i had not considered that my excessive intimacy must have its danger of ill consequence in many ways; and that i had no right to be trying whether i could attach myself to either of the girls, at the risk of raising even an unpleasant report, were there no other ill effects. i had been grossly wrong, and must abide the consequences." he found too late, in short, that he had entangled himself; and that precisely as he became fully satisfied of his not caring for louisa at all, he must regard himself as bound to her, if her sentiments for him were what the harvilles supposed. it determined him to leave lyme, and await her complete recovery elsewhere. he would gladly weaken, by any fair means, whatever feelings or speculations concerning him might exist; and he went, therefore, to his brother's, meaning after a while to return to kellynch, and act as circumstances might require. "i was six weeks with edward," said he, "and saw him happy. i could have no other pleasure. i deserved none. he enquired after you very particularly; asked even if you were personally altered, little suspecting that to my eye you could never alter." anne smiled, and let it pass. it was too pleasing a blunder for a reproach. it is something for a woman to be assured, in her eight-and-twentieth year, that she has not lost one charm of earlier youth; but the value of such homage was inexpressibly increased to anne, by comparing it with former words, and feeling it to be the result, not the cause of a revival of his warm attachment. he had remained in shropshire, lamenting the blindness of his own pride, and the blunders of his own calculations, till at once released from louisa by the astonishing and felicitous intelligence of her engagement with benwick. "here," said he, "ended the worst of my state; for now i could at least put myself in the way of happiness; i could exert myself; i could do something. but to be waiting so long in inaction, and waiting only for evil, had been dreadful. within the first five minutes i said, 'i will be at bath on wednesday,' and i was. was it unpardonable to think it worth my while to come? and to arrive with some degree of hope? you were single. it was possible that you might retain the feelings of the past, as i did; and one encouragement happened to be mine. i could never doubt that you would be loved and sought by others, but i knew to a certainty that you had refused one man, at least, of better pretensions than myself; and i could not help often saying, 'was this for me?'" their first meeting in milsom street afforded much to be said, but the concert still more. that evening seemed to be made up of exquisite moments. the moment of her stepping forward in the octagon room to speak to him: the moment of mr elliot's appearing and tearing her away, and one or two subsequent moments, marked by returning hope or increasing despondency, were dwelt on with energy. "to see you," cried he, "in the midst of those who could not be my well-wishers; to see your cousin close by you, conversing and smiling, and feel all the horrible eligibilities and proprieties of the match! to consider it as the certain wish of every being who could hope to influence you! even if your own feelings were reluctant or indifferent, to consider what powerful supports would be his! was it not enough to make the fool of me which i appeared? how could i look on without agony? was not the very sight of the friend who sat behind you, was not the recollection of what had been, the knowledge of her influence, the indelible, immoveable impression of what persuasion had once done--was it not all against me?" "you should have distinguished," replied anne. "you should not have suspected me now; the case is so different, and my age is so different. if i was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety, not of risk. when i yielded, i thought it was to duty, but no duty could be called in aid here. in marrying a man indifferent to me, all risk would have been incurred, and all duty violated." "perhaps i ought to have reasoned thus," he replied, "but i could not. i could not derive benefit from the late knowledge i had acquired of your character. i could not bring it into play; it was overwhelmed, buried, lost in those earlier feelings which i had been smarting under year after year. i could think of you only as one who had yielded, who had given me up, who had been influenced by any one rather than by me. i saw you with the very person who had guided you in that year of misery. i had no reason to believe her of less authority now. the force of habit was to be added." "i should have thought," said anne, "that my manner to yourself might have spared you much or all of this." "no, no! your manner might be only the ease which your engagement to another man would give. i left you in this belief; and yet, i was determined to see you again. my spirits rallied with the morning, and i felt that i had still a motive for remaining here." at last anne was at home again, and happier than any one in that house could have conceived. all the surprise and suspense, and every other painful part of the morning dissipated by this conversation, she re-entered the house so happy as to be obliged to find an alloy in some momentary apprehensions of its being impossible to last. an interval of meditation, serious and grateful, was the best corrective of everything dangerous in such high-wrought felicity; and she went to her room, and grew steadfast and fearless in the thankfulness of her enjoyment. the evening came, the drawing-rooms were lighted up, the company assembled. it was but a card party, it was but a mixture of those who had never met before, and those who met too often; a commonplace business, too numerous for intimacy, too small for variety; but anne had never found an evening shorter. glowing and lovely in sensibility and happiness, and more generally admired than she thought about or cared for, she had cheerful or forbearing feelings for every creature around her. mr elliot was there; she avoided, but she could pity him. the wallises, she had amusement in understanding them. lady dalrymple and miss carteret--they would soon be innoxious cousins to her. she cared not for mrs clay, and had nothing to blush for in the public manners of her father and sister. with the musgroves, there was the happy chat of perfect ease; with captain harville, the kind-hearted intercourse of brother and sister; with lady russell, attempts at conversation, which a delicious consciousness cut short; with admiral and mrs croft, everything of peculiar cordiality and fervent interest, which the same consciousness sought to conceal; and with captain wentworth, some moments of communications continually occurring, and always the hope of more, and always the knowledge of his being there. it was in one of these short meetings, each apparently occupied in admiring a fine display of greenhouse plants, that she said-"i have been thinking over the past, and trying impartially to judge of the right and wrong, i mean with regard to myself; and i must believe that i was right, much as i suffered from it, that i was perfectly right in being guided by the friend whom you will love better than you do now. to me, she was in the place of a parent. do not mistake me, however. i am not saying that she did not err in her advice. it was, perhaps, one of those cases in which advice is good or bad only as the event decides; and for myself, i certainly never should, in any circumstance of tolerable similarity, give such advice. but i mean, that i was right in submitting to her, and that if i had done otherwise, i should have suffered more in continuing the engagement than i did even in giving it up, because i should have suffered in my conscience. i have now, as far as such a sentiment is allowable in human nature, nothing to reproach myself with; and if i mistake not, a strong sense of duty is no bad part of a woman's portion." he looked at her, looked at lady russell, and looking again at her, replied, as if in cool deliberation-"not yet. but there are hopes of her being forgiven in time. i trust to being in charity with her soon. but i too have been thinking over the past, and a question has suggested itself, whether there may not have been one person more my enemy even than that lady? my own self. tell me if, when i returned to england in the year eight, with a few thousand pounds, and was posted into the laconia, if i had then written to you, would you have answered my letter? would you, in short, have renewed the engagement then?" "would i!" was all her answer; but the accent was decisive enough. "good god!" he cried, "you would! it is not that i did not think of it, or desire it, as what could alone crown all my other success; but i was proud, too proud to ask again. i did not understand you. i shut my eyes, and would not understand you, or do you justice. this is a recollection which ought to make me forgive every one sooner than myself. six years of separation and suffering might have been spared. it is a sort of pain, too, which is new to me. i have been used to the gratification of believing myself to earn every blessing that i enjoyed. i have valued myself on honourable toils and just rewards. like other great men under reverses," he added, with a smile. "i must endeavour to subdue my mind to my fortune. i must learn to brook being happier than i deserve." chapter 24 who can be in doubt of what followed? when any two young people take it into their heads to marry, they are pretty sure by perseverance to carry their point, be they ever so poor, or ever so imprudent, or ever so little likely to be necessary to each other's ultimate comfort. this may be bad morality to conclude with, but i believe it to be truth; and if such parties succeed, how should a captain wentworth and an anne elliot, with the advantage of maturity of mind, consciousness of right, and one independent fortune between them, fail of bearing down every opposition? they might in fact, have borne down a great deal more than they met with, for there was little to distress them beyond the want of graciousness and warmth. sir walter made no objection, and elizabeth did nothing worse than look cold and unconcerned. captain wentworth, with five-and-twenty thousand pounds, and as high in his profession as merit and activity could place him, was no longer nobody. he was now esteemed quite worthy to address the daughter of a foolish, spendthrift baronet, who had not had principle or sense enough to maintain himself in the situation in which providence had placed him, and who could give his daughter at present but a small part of the share of ten thousand pounds which must be hers hereafter. sir walter, indeed, though he had no affection for anne, and no vanity flattered, to make him really happy on the occasion, was very far from thinking it a bad match for her. on the contrary, when he saw more of captain wentworth, saw him repeatedly by daylight, and eyed him well, he was very much struck by his personal claims, and felt that his superiority of appearance might be not unfairly balanced against her superiority of rank; and all this, assisted by his well-sounding name, enabled sir walter at last to prepare his pen, with a very good grace, for the insertion of the marriage in the volume of honour. the only one among them, whose opposition of feeling could excite any serious anxiety was lady russell. anne knew that lady russell must be suffering some pain in understanding and relinquishing mr elliot, and be making some struggles to become truly acquainted with, and do justice to captain wentworth. this however was what lady russell had now to do. she must learn to feel that she had been mistaken with regard to both; that she had been unfairly influenced by appearances in each; that because captain wentworth's manners had not suited her own ideas, she had been too quick in suspecting them to indicate a character of dangerous impetuosity; and that because mr elliot's manners had precisely pleased her in their propriety and correctness, their general politeness and suavity, she had been too quick in receiving them as the certain result of the most correct opinions and well-regulated mind. there was nothing less for lady russell to do, than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong, and to take up a new set of opinions and of hopes. there is a quickness of perception in some, a nicety in the discernment of character, a natural penetration, in short, which no experience in others can equal, and lady russell had been less gifted in this part of understanding than her young friend. but she was a very good woman, and if her second object was to be sensible and well-judging, her first was to see anne happy. she loved anne better than she loved her own abilities; and when the awkwardness of the beginning was over, found little hardship in attaching herself as a mother to the man who was securing the happiness of her other child. of all the family, mary was probably the one most immediately gratified by the circumstance. it was creditable to have a sister married, and she might flatter herself with having been greatly instrumental to the connexion, by keeping anne with her in the autumn; and as her own sister must be better than her husband's sisters, it was very agreeable that captain wentworth should be a richer man than either captain benwick or charles hayter. she had something to suffer, perhaps, when they came into contact again, in seeing anne restored to the rights of seniority, and the mistress of a very pretty landaulette; but she had a future to look forward to, of powerful consolation. anne had no uppercross hall before her, no landed estate, no headship of a family; and if they could but keep captain wentworth from being made a baronet, she would not change situations with anne. it would be well for the eldest sister if she were equally satisfied with her situation, for a change is not very probable there. she had soon the mortification of seeing mr elliot withdraw, and no one of proper condition has since presented himself to raise even the unfounded hopes which sunk with him. the news of his cousin anne's engagement burst on mr elliot most unexpectedly. it deranged his best plan of domestic happiness, his best hope of keeping sir walter single by the watchfulness which a son-in-law's rights would have given. but, though discomfited and disappointed, he could still do something for his own interest and his own enjoyment. he soon quitted bath; and on mrs clay's quitting it soon afterwards, and being next heard of as established under his protection in london, it was evident how double a game he had been playing, and how determined he was to save himself from being cut out by one artful woman, at least. mrs clay's affections had overpowered her interest, and she had sacrificed, for the young man's sake, the possibility of scheming longer for sir walter. she has abilities, however, as well as affections; and it is now a doubtful point whether his cunning, or hers, may finally carry the day; whether, after preventing her from being the wife of sir walter, he may not be wheedled and caressed at last into making her the wife of sir william. it cannot be doubted that sir walter and elizabeth were shocked and mortified by the loss of their companion, and the discovery of their deception in her. they had their great cousins, to be sure, to resort to for comfort; but they must long feel that to flatter and follow others, without being flattered and followed in turn, is but a state of half enjoyment. anne, satisfied at a very early period of lady russell's meaning to love captain wentworth as she ought, had no other alloy to the happiness of her prospects than what arose from the consciousness of having no relations to bestow on him which a man of sense could value. there she felt her own inferiority very keenly. the disproportion in their fortune was nothing; it did not give her a moment's regret; but to have no family to receive and estimate him properly, nothing of respectability, of harmony, of good will to offer in return for all the worth and all the prompt welcome which met her in his brothers and sisters, was a source of as lively pain as her mind could well be sensible of under circumstances of otherwise strong felicity. she had but two friends in the world to add to his list, lady russell and mrs smith. to those, however, he was very well disposed to attach himself. lady russell, in spite of all her former transgressions, he could now value from his heart. while he was not obliged to say that he believed her to have been right in originally dividing them, he was ready to say almost everything else in her favour, and as for mrs smith, she had claims of various kinds to recommend her quickly and permanently. her recent good offices by anne had been enough in themselves, and their marriage, instead of depriving her of one friend, secured her two. she was their earliest visitor in their settled life; and captain wentworth, by putting her in the way of recovering her husband's property in the west indies, by writing for her, acting for her, and seeing her through all the petty difficulties of the case with the activity and exertion of a fearless man and a determined friend, fully requited the services which she had rendered, or ever meant to render, to his wife. mrs smith's enjoyments were not spoiled by this improvement of income, with some improvement of health, and the acquisition of such friends to be often with, for her cheerfulness and mental alacrity did not fail her; and while these prime supplies of good remained, she might have bid defiance even to greater accessions of worldly prosperity. she might have been absolutely rich and perfectly healthy, and yet be happy. her spring of felicity was in the glow of her spirits, as her friend anne's was in the warmth of her heart. anne was tenderness itself, and she had the full worth of it in captain wentworth's affection. his profession was all that could ever make her friends wish that tenderness less, the dread of a future war all that could dim her sunshine. she gloried in being a sailor's wife, but she must pay the tax of quick alarm for belonging to that profession which is, if possible, more distinguished in its domestic virtues than in its national importance. finis (http://www.girlebooks.com), marc d'hooghe (http://www.freeliterature.org) the black moth a romance of the xviii century by georgette heyer contents prologue chapter xvi chapter i chapter xvii chapter ii chapter xviii chapter iii chapter xix chapter iv chapter xx chapter v chapter xxi chapter vi chapter xxii chapter vii chapter xxiii chapter viii chapter xxiv chapter ix chapter xxv chapter x chapter xxvi chapter xi chapter xxvii chapter xii chapter xxviii chapter xiii chapter xxix chapter xiv epilogue chapter xv prologue clad in his customary black and silver, with raven hair unpowdered and elaborately dressed, diamonds on his fingers and in his cravat, hugh tracy clare belmanoir, duke of andover, sat at the escritoire in the library of his town house, writing. he wore no rouge on his face, the almost unnatural pallor of which seemed designedly enhanced by a patch set beneath his right eye. brows and lashes were black, the former slanting slightly up at the corners, but his narrow, heavy-lidded eyes were green and strangely piercing. the thin lips curled a little, sneering, as one dead-white hand travelled to and fro across the paper. ... but it seems that the fair lady has a brother, who, finding me enamoured, threw down the gauntlet. i soundly whipt the presumptuous child, and so the affair ends. now, as you, my dear frank, also took some interest in the lady, i write for the express purpose of informing you that at my hands she has received no hurt, nor is not like to. this i in part tell you that you shall not imagine yr self in honor bound again to call me out, which purpose, an i mistake not, i yesterday read in yr eyes. i should be exceeding loth to meet you in a second time, when i should consider it my duty to teach you an even severer lesson than before. this i am not wishful of doing for the liking i bear you. "so in all friendship believe me, frank, "your most obedient, humble "devil." his grace of andover paused, pen held in mid-air. a mocking smile dawned in his eyes, and he wrote again. "in the event of any desire on yr part to hazard yr luck with my late paramour, permit me to warn you 'gainst the bantam brother, who is in very truth a fire-eater, and would wish to make of you, as of me, one mouthfull. i shall hope to see you at the queensberry rout on thursday, when you may once more strive to direct mine erring footsteps on to the thorny path of virtue." his grace read the postscript through with another satisfied, sardonic smile. then he folded the letter, and affixing a wafer, peremptorily struck the hand-bell at his side. and the honourable frank fortescue, reading the postscript half-an-hour later, smiled too, but differently. also he sighed and put the letter into the fire. "and so ends another _affaire_. ... i wonder if you'll go insolently to the very end?" he said softly, watching the paper shrivel and flare up. "i would to god you might fall honestly in love--and that the lady might save you from yourself--my poor devil!" chapter i at the chequers inn, fallowfield chadber was the name of the host, florid of countenance, portly of person, and of manner pompous and urbane. solely within the walls of the chequers lay his world, that inn having been acquired by his great-grandfather as far back as the year 1667, when the jovial stuart king sat on the english throne, and the hanoverian electors were not yet dreamed of. a tory was mr. chadber to the backbone. none so bitter 'gainst the little german as he, and surely none had looked forward more eagerly to the advent of the gallant charles edward. if he confined his patriotism to drinking success to prince charlie's campaign, who shall blame him? and if, when sundry whig gentlemen halted at the chequers on their way to the coast, and, calling for a bottle of rhenish, bade him toss down a glass himself with a health to his majesty, again who shall blame mr. chadber for obeying? what was a health one way or another when you had rendered active service to two of his stuart highness's adherents? it was mr. chadber's boast, uttered only to his admiring tory neighbours, that he had, at the risk of his own life, given shelter to two fugitives of the disastrous 'forty-five, who had come so far out of their way as quiet fallowfield. that no one had set eyes on either of the men was no reason for doubting an honest landlord's word. but no one would have thought of doubting any statement that mr. chadber might make. mine host of the chequers was a great personage in the town, being able both to read and to write, and having once, when young, travelled as far north as london town, staying there for ten days and setting eyes on no less a person than the great duke of marlborough himself when that gentleman was riding along the strand on his way to st. james's. also, it was a not-to-be-ignored fact that mr. chadber's home-brewed ale was far superior to that sold by the landlord of the rival inn at the other end of the village. altogether he was a most important character, and no one was more aware of his importance than his worthy self. to "gentlemen born," whom, he protested, he could distinguish at a glance, he was almost obsequiously polite, but on clerks and underlings, and men who bore no signs of affluence about their persons, he wasted none of his deference. thus it was that, when a little green-clad lawyer alighted one day from the mail coach and entered the coffee-room at the chequers, he was received with pomposity and scarce-veiled condescension. he was nervous, it seemed, and more than a little worried. he offended mr. chadber at the outset, when he insinuated that he was come to meet a gentleman who might perhaps be rather shabbily clothed, rather short of purse, and even of rather unsavoury repute. very severely did mr. chadber give him to understand that guests of that description were entirely unknown at the chequers. there was an air of mystery about the lawyer, and it appeared almost as though he were striving to probe mine host. mr. chadber bridled, a little, and became aloof and haughty. when the lawyer dared openly to ask if he had had any dealings with highwaymen of late, he was properly and thoroughly affronted. the lawyer became suddenly more at ease. he eyed mr. chadber speculatively, holding a pinch of snuff to one thin nostril. "perhaps you have staying here a certain--ah--sir--anthony--ferndale?" he hazarded. the gentle air of injury fell from mr. chadber. certainly he had, and come only yesterday a-purpose to meet his solicitor. the lawyer nodded. "i am he. be so good as to apprise sir anthony of my arrival." mr. chadber bowed exceeding low, and implored the lawyer not to remain in the draughty coffee-room. sir anthony would never forgive him an he allowed his solicitor to await him there. would he not come to sir anthony's private parlour? the very faintest of smiles creased the lawyer's thin face as he walked along the passage in mr. chadber's wake. he was ushered into a low-ceilinged, pleasant chamber looking out on to the quiet street, and left alone what time mr. chadber went in search of sir anthony. the room was panelled and ceilinged in oak, with blue curtains to the windows and blue cushions on the high-backed settle by the fire. a table stood in the centre of the floor, with a white table-cloth thereon and places laid for two. another smaller table stood by the fireplace, together with a chair and a stool. the lawyer took silent stock of his surroundings, and reflected grimly on the landlord's sudden change of front. it would appear that sir anthony was a gentleman of some standing at the chequers. yet the little man was plainly unhappy, and fell to pacing to and fro, his chin sunk low on his breast, and his hands clasped behind his back. he was come to seek the disgraced son of an earl, and he was afraid of what he might find. six years ago lord john carstares, eldest son of the earl of wyncham, had gone with his brother, the hon. richard, to a card party, and had returned a dishonoured man. that jack carstares should cheat was incredible, ridiculous, and at first no one had believed the tale that so quickly spread. but he had confirmed that tale himself, defiantly and without shame, before riding off, bound, men said, for france and the foreign parts. brother richard was left, so said the countryside, to marry the lady they were both in love with. nothing further had been heard of lord john, and the outraged earl forbade his name to be mentioned at wyncham, swearing to disinherit the prodigal. richard espoused the fair lady lavinia and brought her to live at the great house, strangely forlorn now without lord john's magnetic presence; but, far from being an elated bridegroom, he seemed to have brought gloom with him from the honeymoon, so silent and so unhappy was he. six years drifted slowly by without bringing any news of lord john, and then, two months ago, journeying from london to wyncham, richard's coach had been waylaid, and by a highwayman who proved to be none other than the scapegrace peer. richard's feelings may be imagined. lord john had been singularly unimpressed by anything beyond the humour of the situation. that, however, had struck him most forcibly, and he had burst out into a fit of laughter that had brought a lump into richard's throat, and a fresh ache into his heart. upon pressure john had given his brother the address of the inn, "in case of accidents," and told him to ask for "sir anthony ferndale" if ever he should need him. then with one hearty handshake, he had galloped off into the darkness.... the lawyer stopped his restless pacing to listen. down the passage was coming the tap-tap of high heels on the wooden floor, accompanied by a slight rustle as of stiff silks. the little man tugged suddenly at his cravat. supposing--supposing debonair lord john was no longer debonair? supposing--he dared not suppose anything. nervously he drew a roll of parchment from his pocket and stood fingering it. a firm hand was laid on the door-handle, turning it cleanly round. the door opened to admit a veritable apparition, and was closed again with a snap. the lawyer found himself gazing at a slight, rather tall gentleman who swept him a profound bow, gracefully flourishing his smart three-cornered hat with one hand and delicately clasping cane and perfumed handkerchief with the other. he was dressed in the height of the versailles fashion, with full-skirted coat of palest lilac laced with silver, small-clothes and stockings of white, and waistcoat of flowered satin. on his feet he wore shoes with high red heels and silver buckles, while a wig of the latest mode, marvellously powdered and curled and smacking greatly of paris, adorned his shapely head. in the foaming lace of his cravat reposed a diamond pin, and on the slim hand, half covered by drooping laces, glowed and flashed a huge emerald. the lawyer stared and stared again, and it was not until a pair of deep blue, rather wistful eyes met his in a quizzical glance, that he found his tongue. then a look of astonishment came into his face, and he took a half step forward. "master jack!" he gasped. "master--_jack_!" the elegant gentleman came forward and held up a reproving hand. the patch at the corner of his mouth quivered, and the blue eyes danced. "i perceive that you are not acquainted with me, mr. warburton," he said, amusement in his pleasant, slightly drawling voice. "allow me to present myself: sir anthony ferndale, _a vous servir_!" a gleam of humour appeared in the lawyer's own eyes as he clasped the outstretched hand. "i think you are perhaps not acquainted with yourself, my lord," he remarked drily. lord john laid his hat and cane on the small table, and looked faintly intrigued. "what's your meaning, mr. warburton?" "i am come, my lord, to inform you that the earl, your father, died a month since." the blue eyes widened, grew of a sudden hard, and narrowed again. "is that really so? well, well! apoplexy, i make no doubt?" the lawyer's lips twitched uncontrollably. "no, master jack; my lord died of heart failure." "say you so? dear me! but will you not be seated, sir? in a moment my servant will have induced the _chef_ to serve dinner. you will honour me, i trust?" the lawyer murmured his thanks and sat down on the settle, watching the other with puzzled eyes. the earl drew up a chair for himself and stretched his foot to the fire. "six years, eh? i protest 'tis prodigious good to see your face again, mr. warburton.... and i'm the earl? earl and high toby, by gad!" he laughed softly. "i have here the documents, my lord...." carstares eyed the roll through his quizzing glass. "i perceive them. pray return them to your pocket, mr. warburton." "but there are certain legal formalities, my lord--" "exactly. pray do not let us mention them!" "but, sir!" then the earl smiled, and his smile was singularly sweet and winning. "at least, not until after dinner, warburton! instead, you shall tell me how you found me?" "mr. richard directed me where to come, sir." "ah, of course! i had forgot that i told him my--_pied-à-terre_ when i waylaid him." the lawyer nearly shuddered at this cheerful, barefaced mention of his lordship's disreputable profession. "er--indeed, sir. mr. richard is eager for you to return." the handsome young face clouded over. my lord shook his head. "impossible, my dear warburton. i am convinced dick never voiced so foolish a suggestion. come now, confess! 'tis your own fabrication?" warburton ignored the bantering tone and spoke very deliberately. "at all events, my lord, i believe him anxious to make--amends." carstares shot an alert, suspicious glance at him. "ah!" "yes, sir. amends." my lord studied his emerald with half-closed eyelids. "but why--amends, warburton?" he asked. "is not that the word, sir?" "i confess it strikes me as inapt. doubtless i am dull of comprehension." "you were not wont to be, my lord." "no? but six years changes a man, warburton. pray, is mr. carstares well?" "i believe so, sir," replied the lawyer, frowning at the deft change of subject. "and lady lavinia?" "ay." mr. warburton looked searchingly across at him, seeing which, my lord's eyes danced afresh, brim full with mischief. "i am delighted to hear it. pray present my compliments to mr. carstares and beg him to use wyncham as he wills." "sir! master jack! i implore you!" burst from the lawyer, and he sprang up, moving excitedly away, his hands twitching, his face haggard. my lord stiffened in his chair. he watched the other's jerky movements anxiously, but his voice when he spoke was even and cold. "well, sir?" mr. warburton wheeled and came back to the fireplace, looking hungrily down at my lord's impassive countenance. with an effort he seemed to control himself. "master jack, i had better tell you what you have already guessed. i know." up went one haughty eyebrow. "you know what, mr. warburton?" "that you are innocent!" "of what, mr. warburton?" "of cheating at cards, sir!" my lord relaxed, and flicked a speck of dust from his great cuff. "i regret the necessity of having to disillusion you, mr. warburton." "my lord, do not fence with me, i beg! you can trust me, surely?" "certainly, sir." "then do not keep up this pretence with me; no, nor look so hard neither! i've watched you grow up right from the cradle, and master dick too, and i know you both through and through. i _know_ you never cheated at colonel dare's nor anywhere else! i could have sworn it at the time--ay, when i saw master dick's face, i knew at once that he it was who had played foul, and you had but taken the blame!" "no!" "i know better! can you, master jack, look me in the face and truthfully deny what i have said? can you? can you?" my lord sat silent. with a sigh, warburton sank on to the settle once more. he was flushed, and his eyes shone, but he spoke calmly again. "of course you cannot. i have never known you lie. you need not fear i shall betray you. i kept silence all these years for my lord's sake, and i will not speak now until you give me leave." "which i never shall." "master jack, think better of it, i beg of you! now that my lord is dead--" "it makes no difference." "no difference? 'twas not for his sake? 'twas not because you knew how he loved master dick?" "no." "then 'tis lady lavinia--" "no." "but--" my lord smiled sadly. "ah, warburton! and you averred you knew us through and through! for whose sake should it be but his own?" "i feared it!" the lawyer made a hopeless gesture with his hands. "you will not come back?" "no, warburton, i will not; dick may manage my estates. i remain on the road." warburton made one last effort. "my lord!" he cried despairingly, "will you not at least think of the disgrace to the name an you be caught?" the shadows vanished from my lord's eyes. "mr. warburton, i protest you are of a morbid turn of mind! do you know, i had not thought of so unpleasant a contingency? i swear i was not born to be hanged!" the lawyer would have said more, had not the entrance of a servant, carrying a loaded tray, put an end to all private conversation. the man placed dishes upon the table, lighted candles, and arranged two chairs. "dinner is served, sir," he said. my lord nodded, and made a slight gesture toward the windows. instantly the man went over to them and drew the heavy curtains across. my lord turned to mr. warburton. "what say you, sir? shall it be burgundy or claret, or do you prefer sack?" warburton decided in favour of claret. "claret, jim," ordered carstares, and rose to his feet. "i trust the drive has whetted your appetite, warburton, for honest chadber will be monstrous hurt an you do not justice to his capons." "i shall endeavour to spare his feelings," replied the lawyer with a twinkle, and seated himself at the table. whatever might be mr. chadber's failings, he possessed an excellent cook. mr. warburton dined very well, beginning on a fat duck, and continuing through the many courses that constituted the meal. when the table was cleared, the servant gone, and the port before them, he endeavoured to guide the conversation back into the previous channels. but he reckoned without my lord, and presently found himself discussing the pretender's late rebellion. he sat up suddenly. "there were rumours that you were with the prince, sir." carstares set down his glass in genuine amazement. "i?" "indeed, yes. i do not know whence the rumour came, but it reached wyncham. my lord said nought, but i think mr. richard hardly credited it." "i should hope not! why should they think me turned rebel, pray?" mr. warburton frowned. "rebel, sir?" "rebel, mr. warburton. i have served under his majesty." "the carstares were ever tories, master jack, true to their rightful king." "my dear warburton, i owe nought to the stuart princes. i was born in king george the first's reign, and i protest i am a good whig." warburton shook his head disapprovingly. "there has never been a whig in the wyncham family, sir." "and you hope there never will be again, eh? what of dick? is he faithful to the pretender?" "i think mr. richard does not interest himself in politics, sir." carstares raised his eyebrows, and there fell a silence. after a minute or two mr. warburton cleared his throat. "i--i suppose, sir--you have no idea of--er--discontinuing your--er--profession?" my lord gave an irrepressible little laugh. "faith, mr. warburton, i've only just begun!" "only--but a year ago, mr. richard--" "i held him up? ay, but to tell the truth, sir, i've not done much since then!" "then, sir, you are not--er--notorious?" "good gad, no! notorious, forsooth! confess, warburton, you thought me some heroic figure? 'gentleman harry', perhaps?" warburton blushed. "well, sir--i--er--wondered." "i shall have to disappoint you, i perceive. i doubt bow street has never heard of me--and--to tell the truth--'tis not an occupation which appeals vastly to my senses." "then why, my lord, do you continue?" "i must have some excuse for roaming the country," pleaded jack. "i could not be idle." "you are not--compelled to--er--rob, my lord?" carstares wrinkled his brow inquiringly. "compelled? ah--i take your meaning. no, warburton, i have enough for my wants--now; time was--but that is past. i rob for amusement's sake." warburton looked steadily across at him. "i am surprised, my lord, that you, a carstares, should find it--amusing." john was silent for a moment, and when he at length spoke it was defiantly and with a bitterness most unusual in him. "the world, mr. warburton, has not treated me so kindly that i should feel any qualms of conscience. but, an it gives you any satisfaction to know it, i will tell you that my robberies are few and far between. you spoke a little while ago of my probable--ah--fate--on tyburn tree. i think you need not fear to hear of that." "i--it gives me great satisfaction, my lord, i confess," stammered the lawyer, and found nothing more to say. after a long pause he again produced the bulky roll of parchment and laid it down before the earl with the apologetic murmur of: "business, my lord!" carstares descended from the clouds and eyed the packet with evident distaste. he proceeded to fill his and his companion's glass very leisurely. that done, he heaved a lugubrious sigh, caught mr. warburton's eye, laughed in answer to its quizzical gleam, and broke the seal. "since you _will_ have it, sir--business!" * * * * * mr. warburton stayed the night at the chequers and travelled back to wyncham next day by the two o'clock coach. he played piquet and ecarte with my lord all the evening, and then retired to bed, not having found an opportunity to argue his mission as he had hoped to do. whenever he had tried to turn the conversation that way he had been gently but firmly led into safer channels, and somehow had found it impossible to get back. my lord was the gayest and most charming of companions, but talk "business" he would not. he regaled the lawyer with spicy anecdotes and tales of abroad, but never once allowed mr. warburton to speak of his home or of his brother. the lawyer retired to rest in a measure reassured by the other's good spirits, but at the same time dispirited by his failure to induce carstares to return to wyncham. next morning, although he was not up until twelve, he was before my lord, who only appeared in time for lunch, which was served as before in the oak parlour. he entered the room in his usual leisurely yet decided fashion and made mr. warburton a marvellous leg. then he bore him off to inspect his mare, jenny, of whom he was inordinately proud. by the time they returned to the parlour luncheon was served, and mr. warburton realised that he had scarcely any time left in which to plead his cause. my lord's servant hovered continually about the room, waiting on them, until his master bade him go to attend to the lawyer's valise. when the door had closed on his retreating form, carstares leaned back in his chair, and, with a rather dreary little smile, turned to his companion. "you want to reason with me, i know, mr. warburton, and, indeed, i will listen an i must. but i would so much rather that you left the subject alone, believe me." warburton sensed the finality in his voice, and wisely threw away his last chance. "i understand 'tis painful, my lord, and i will say no more. only remember--and think on it, i beg!" the concern in his face touched my lord. "you are too good to me, mr. warburton, i vow. i can only say that i appreciate your kindness--and your forbearance. and i trust that you will forgive my seeming churlishness and believe that i am indeed grateful to you." "i wish i might do more for you, master jack!" stammered warburton, made miserable by the wistful note in his favourite's voice. there was no time for more; the coach already awaited him, and his valise had been hoisted up. as they stood together in the porch, he could only grip my lord's hand tightly and say good-bye. then he got hurriedly into the coach, and the door was slammed behind him. my lord made his leg, and watched the heavy vehicle move forward and roll away down the street. then with a stifled sigh he turned and walked towards the stables. his servant saw him coming and went at once to meet him. "the mare, sir?" "as you say, jim--the mare. in an hour." he turned and would have strolled back. "sir--your honour!" he paused, looking over his shoulder. "well?" "they're on the look-out, sir. best be careful." "they always are, jim. but thanks." "ye--ye wouldn't take me with ye, sir?" pleadingly. "take you? faith, no! i've no mind to lead you into danger. and you serve me best by remaining to carry out my orders." the man fell back. "ay, sir; but--but--" "there are none, jim." "no, sir--but ye _will_ have a care?" "i will be the most cautious of men." he walked away on the word, and passed into the house. in an hour he was a very different being. gone was the emerald ring, the foppish cane; the languid air, too, had disappeared, leaving him brisk and businesslike. he was dressed for riding, with buff coat and buckskin breeches, and shining top boots. a sober brown wig replaced the powdered creation, and a black tricorne was set rakishly atop. he stood in the deserted porch, watching jim strap his baggage to the saddle, occasionally giving a curt direction. presently mr. chadber appeared with the stirrup-cup, which he drained and handed back with a word of thanks and a guinea at the bottom. someone called lustily from within, and the landlord, bowing very low, murmured apologies and vanished. jim cast a last glance at the saddle-girths, and, leaving the mare quietly standing in the road, came up to his master with gloves and whip. carstares took them silently and fell to tapping his boot, his eyes thoughtfully on the man's face. "you will hire a coach, as usual," he said at length, "and take my baggage to--" (he paused, frowning)--"lewes. you will engage a room at the white hart and order dinner. i shall wear--apricot and--h'm!" "blue, sir?" ventured jim, with an idea of being helpful. his master's eyes crinkled at the corners. "you are a humorist, salter. apricot and cream. cream? yes, 'tis a pleasing thought--cream. that is all--jenny!" the mare turned her head, whinnying as he came towards her. "good lass!" he mounted lightly and patted her glossy neck. then he leaned sideways in the saddle to speak again to salter, who stood beside him, one hand on the bridle. "the cloak?" "behind you, sir." "my wig?" "yes, sir." "pistols?" "ready primed, sir." "good. i shall be in lewes in time for dinner--with luck." "yes, sir. ye--ye will have a care?" anxiously. "have i not told you?" he straightened in the saddle, touched the mare with his heel, and bestowing a quick smile and a nod on his man, trotted easily away. chapter ii my lord at the white hart "sir anthony ferndale" sat before the dressing-table in his room at the white hart, idly polishing his nails. a gorgeous silk dressing gown lay over the back of his chair, and, behind him, jim was attending to his wig, at the same time hovering anxiously over the coat and waistcoat that were waiting to be donned. carstares left off polishing his nails, yawned, and leaned back in his chair, a slim, graceful figure in cambric shirt and apricot satin breeches. he studied his cravat for some moments in the mirror, and lifted a hand to it. salter held his breath. with extreme deliberation the hand moved a diamond and emerald pin the fraction of an inch to one side, and fell to his side again. salter drew a relieved breath, which brought his master's eyes round to himself. "no trouble, jim?" "none at all, sir." "neither had i. 'twas most surprisingly easy. the birds had no more fight in them than sparrows. two men in a coach--one a bullying rascal of a merchant, the other his clerk. gad! but i was sorry for that little man!" he paused, his hand on the rouge pot. salter looked an inquiry. "yes," nodded carstares. "very sorry. the fat man would appear to bully and browbeat him after the manner of his kind; he even blamed him for my advent, the greasy coward! yes, jim, you are right--he did not appeal to me, _ce m. fudby_. so--" ingenuously, "i relieved him of his cash-box and two hundred guineas. a present for the poor of lewes." jim jerked his shoulder, frowning. "if ye give away all ye get, sir, why do ye rob at all?" he asked bluntly. his whimsical little smile played about my lord's mouth. "'tis an object for my life, jim: a noble object. and i believe it amuses me to play robin hood--take from the rich to give to the poor," he added, for salter's benefit. "but to return to my victims--you would have laughed had you but seen my little man come tumbling out of the coach when i opened the door!" "tumble, sir? why should he do that?" "he was at pains to explain the reason. it seems he had been commanded to hold the door to prevent my entering--so when i jerked it open, sooner than loose his hold, he fell out on to the road. of course, i apologised most abjectly--and we had some conversation. quite a nice little man.... it made me laugh to see him sprawling on the road, though!" "wish i could have seen it, your honour. i would ha' liked fine to ha' been beside ye." he looked down at the lithe form with some pride. "i'd give something to see ye hold up a coach, sir!" haresfoot in hand, jack met his admiring eyes in the glass, and laughed. "i make no doubt you would.... i have cultivated a superb voice, a trifle thick and beery, a little loud, perhaps--ah, something to dream of o' nights! i doubt they do, too," he added reflectively, and affixed the patch at the corner of his mouth. "so? a little low, you think? but 'twill suffice--what's toward?" down below in the street there was a great stirring and bustling: horses' hoofs, shouts from the ostlers, and the sound of wheels on the cobble-stones. jim went to the window and looked down, craning his neck to see over the balcony. "'tis a coach arrived, sir." "that much had i gathered," replied my lord, busy with the powder. "yes, sir. o lord, sir!" he was shaken with laughter. "what now?" "'tis the curiousest sight, sir! two gentlemen, one fat and t'other small! one's all shrivelled-looking, like a spider, while t'other--" "resembles a hippopotamus--particularly in the face?" "well yes, sir. he do rather. and he be wearing purple." "heavens, yes! purple, and an orange waistcoat!" jim peered afresh. "so it is, sir! but how did you know?" even as he put the question, understanding flashed into jim's eyes. "i rather think that i have had the honour of meeting these gentlemen," replied my lord placidly. "my buckle, jim.... is't a prodigious great coach with wheels picked out in yellow?" "ay, your honour. the gentlemen seem a bit put out, too." "that is quite probable. does the smaller gentleman wear somewhat--ah--muddied garments?" "i can't see, sir; he stands behind the fat gentleman." "mr. bumble bee.... jim!" "sir!" jim turned quickly at the sound of the sharp voice. he found that my lord had risen, and was holding up a waistcoat of pea-green pattern on a bilious yellow ground, between a disgusted finger and thumb. before his severe frown jim dropped his eyes and stood looking for all the world like a schoolboy detected in some crime. "you put this--this monstrosity--out for _me_ to wear?" in awful tones. jim eyed the waistcoat gloomily and nodded. "yes, sir." "did i not specify cream ground?" "yes, sir. i thought--i thought that 'twas cream!" "my good friend, it is--it is--i cannot say what it is. and pea-green!" he shuddered. "remove it." jim hurried forward and disposed of the offending garment. "and bring me the broidered satin. yes, that is it. it is particularly pleasing to the eye." "yes, sir," agreed the abashed jim. "you are excused this time," added my lord, with a twinkle in his eye. "what are our two friends doing?" salter went back to the window "they've gone into the house, sir. no, here's the spider gentleman! he do seem in a hurry, your honour!" "ah!" murmured his lordship. "you may assist me into this coat. thanks." with no little difficulty, my lord managed to enter into the fine satin garment, which, when on, seemed moulded to his back, so excellently did it fit. he shook out his ruffles and slipped the emerald ring on to his finger with a slight frown. "i believe i shall remain here some few days," he remarked presently. "to--ah--allay suspicion." he looked across at his man as he spoke, through his lashes. it was not in jim's nature to inquire into his master's affairs, much less to be surprised at anything he might do or say. he was content to receive and promptly execute his orders, and to worship carstares with a dog-like devotion, following blindly in his wake, happy as long as he might serve him. carstares had found him in france, very down upon his luck, having been discharged from the service of his late master owing to the penniless condition of that gentleman's pocket. he had engaged him as his own personal servant, and the man had remained with him ever since, proving an invaluable acquisition to my lord john. despite a singularly wooden countenance, he was by no means a fool, and he had helped carstares out of more than one tight corner during his inglorious and foolhardy career as highwayman. he probably understood his somewhat erratic master better than anyone else, and he now divined what was in his mind. he returned that glance with a significant wink. "'twas them gentlemen ye held up to-day, sir?" he asked, jerking an expressive thumb towards the window. "m'm. mr. bumble bee and friend. it would almost appear so. i think i do not fully appreciate mr. bumble bee. i find his conduct rather tiresome. but it is just possible that he thinks the same of me. i will further my acquaintance with him." jim grunted scornfully, and an inquiring eye was cocked at him. "you do not admire our friend? pray, do not judge him by his exterior. he may possess a beautiful mind. but i do not think so. n-no, i really do not think so." he chuckled a little. "do you know, jim, i believe i am going to enjoy myself to-night!" "i don't doubt it, your honour. 'twere child's play to trick the fat gentleman." "probably. but it is not with the fat gentleman that i shall have to deal. 'tis with all the officials of this charming town, an i mistake not. do i hear the small spider returning?" salter stepped back to the window. "ay, sir--with three others." "pre-cisely. be so good as to hand me my snuff-box. and my cane. thank you. i feel the time has now come for me to put in an appearance. pray, bear in mind that i am new come from france and journey by easy stages to london. and cultivate a stupid expression. yes, that will do excellently." jim grinned delightedly; he had assumed no expression of stupidity, and was consequently much pleased with this pleasantry. he swung open the door with an air, and watched "sir anthony" mince along the passage to the stairs. in the coffee-room the city merchant, mr. fudby by name, was relating the story of his wrongs, with many an impressive pause, and much emphasis, to the mayor, town-clerk, and beadle of lewes. all three had been fetched by mr. chilter, his clerk, in obedience to his orders, for the bigger the audience the better pleased was mr. fudby. he was now enjoying himself quite considerably, despite the loss of his precious cash-box. so was not mr. hedges, the mayor. he was a fussy little man who suffered from dyspepsia; he was not interested in the affair, and he did not see what was to be done for mr. fudby. further, he had been haled from his dinner, and he was hungry; and, above all, he found mr. fudby very unattractive. still, a highroad robbery was serious matter enough, and some course of action must be thought out; so he listened to the story with an assumption of interest, looking exceedingly wise, and, at the proper moments, uttering sounds betokening concern. the more he saw and heard of mr. fudby, the less he liked him. neither did the town-clerk care for him. there was that about mr. fudby that did not endear him to his fellow-men, especially when they chanced to be his inferiors in the social scale. the beadle did not think much about anything. having decided (and rightly) that the affair had nothing whatever to do with him, he leaned back in his chair and stared stolidly up at the ceiling. the tale mr. fudby was telling bore surprisingly little resemblance to the truth. it was a much embellished version, in which he himself had behaved with quite remarkable gallantry. it had been gradually concocted during the journey to lewes. he was still holding forth when my lord entered the room. carstares raised his glass languidly to survey the assembled company, bowed slightly, and walked over to the fire. he seated himself in an armchair and took no further notice of anybody. mr. hedges had recognised at a glance that here was some _grand seigneur_ and wished that mr. fudby would not speak in so loud a voice. but that individual, delighted at having a new auditor, continued his tale with much relish and in a still louder tone. my lord yawned delicately and took a pinch of snuff. "yes, yes," fussed mr. hedges. "but, short of sending to london for the runners, i do not see what i can do. if i send to london, it must, of course, be at your expense, sir." mr. fudby bristled. "at _my_ expense, sir? do ye say at _my_ expense? i am surprised! i repeat--i am surprised!" "indeed, sir? i can order the town-crier out, describing the horse, and--er--offering a reward for the capture of any man on such an animal. but--" he shrugged and looked across at the town-clerk--"i do not imagine that 'twould be of much use--eh, mr. brand?" the clerk pursed his lips and spread out his hands. "i fear not; i very much fear not. i would advise mr. fudby to have a proclamation posted up round the country." he sat back with the air of one who has contributed his share to the work, and does not intend to offer any more help. "ho!" growled mr. fudby. he blew out his cheeks. "'twill be a grievous expense, though i suppose it must be done, and i cannot but feel that if it had not been for your deplorably cowardly conduct, chilter--yes, cowardly conduct, i say--i might never have been robbed of my two hundred!" he snuffled a little, and eyed the flushed but silent chilter with mingled reproach and scorn. "however, my coachman assures me he could swear to the horse again, although he cannot remember much about the man himself. chilter! how did he describe the horse?" "oh--er--chestnut, mr. fudby--chestnut, with a half-moon of white on its forehead, and one white foreleg." jack perceived that it was time he took a hand in the game. he half turned in his chair and levelled his quizzing-glass at mr. chilter. "i beg your pardon?" he drawled. mr. fudby's eye brightened. the fine gentleman was roused to an expression of interest at last. he launched forth into his story once more for my lord's benefit. carstares eyed him coldly, seeing which, mr. hedges came hurriedly to the rescue. "er--yes, mr. fudby--quite so! your pardon, sir, i have not the honour of knowing your name?" "ferndale," supplied jack, "sir anthony ferndale." "er--yes--" mr. hedges bowed. "pray pardon my importuning you with our--" "not at all," said my lord. "no--quite so--the fact is, these--er--gentlemen have had the--er--misfortune to be waylaid on their journey here." sir anthony's glass was again levelled at the group. his expression betokened mild surprise. "_all_ these gentlemen?" he inquired blandly. "dear, dear!" "oh, no, no, no, sir! not all--only mr.--er--" "fudby," said that worthy, and discovered that sir anthony was bowing frigidly. at once he rose, and resting his knuckles on the table before him, bent his body slowly and painfully. sir anthony inclined his head. whereupon, to the delight of all the rest, mr. fudby bowed again with even greater stateliness than before. mr. hedges observed sir anthony's lips to twitch convulsively. he waited for mr. fudby to subside, and then continued: "yes--mr. fudby and mr.--" "my clerk!" snapped fudby. sir anthony favoured mr. chilter with his peculiarly sweet smile, and turned again to mr. hedges. "i see. a _daylight_ robbery, you say?" "broad daylight!" boomed mr. fudby. "er--yes, yes," interposed the mayor, fearing a fresh outbreak from that quarter. "i wonder if you have seen anything of such an animal as mr.--er--chilter--described?" "'tis a most extraordinary thing," said carstares slowly, "but i have just bought such an one." he glanced round with an inquiring smile and one eyebrow lifted. "well!" ejaculated mr. fudby. "well!" "dear me, sir, what a strange coincidence! may i ask where you bought it, and from whom?" "she has not been in my possession over two hours. i bought her from an out-at-elbows ruffian, on my way hither. i thought at one time that 'twas strange that the man should possess such a mare--pure bred, i vow--and wondered why he was so eager to be rid of her." "he was eager because he knew he would be recognised by her," explained mr. fudby kindly. "without doubt. perhaps you would like to see her? i will send my man--" "oh no, no!" cried the mayor. "we would not dream of so inconveniencing you--" "'twere a pleasure," bowed jack, devoutly hoping that mr. fudby would not require to see jenny, who, he felt sure, would betray him by her very evident affection. "no, no, sir anthony, 'tis quite unnecessary, i assure you, but i thank you for all that. mr. fudby, if you would describe the man himself, i will see to the proclamation." "describe him, chilter!" ordered mr. fudby, who was becoming rather grumpy. mr. chilter smiled suddenly. "certainly, sir!" he said with alacrity. "'twas a great ruffianly fellow, monstrous tall--" "how tall?" interrupted the town-clerk. "six feet?" "oh, quite!" lied mr. chilter. "and fat." jack's shoulders shook. "fat, you say?" he asked gently. "very fat," affirmed mr. chilter. "and prodigious rough, swearing dreadfully in his speech." "you could not see his face, i suppose?" mr. chilter hesitated. "i could see his mouth and chin," he said, "and i remarked a long scar running from his under-lip to the--er--bottom of his face." involuntarily carstares' hand caressed his perfectly smooth chin. either the little clerk was a born romancer, or for some reason or other he did not want the highwayman to be taken. "well, sir anthony?" the mayor was saying. "does that description fit your man?" my lord frowned thoughtfully. "tall," he said slowly, "and fat--you said fat, i think, mr. chilter?" rather anxiously mr. chilter reiterated this statement. "ah! and with a long scar--yes, that is undoubtedly he. furthermore," he added audaciously, "he has a squint in his left eye. 'tis a most ill-favoured rogue in all." "it would appear so, sir anthony," remarked the mayor drily. he did not in the least believe the story of the squint, and imagined that the fine court gentleman was amusing himself at their expense. nevertheless, he had no intention of remonstrating; the sooner he could withdraw from this very tiresome affair the better. so he gravely took down all the absurd particulars, remarked that the man should be easy to find, and made ready to depart. the town-clerk rose, and tapped the beadle on the shoulder, whereupon that worthy, with a grunt, abandoned his pose of masterly inactivity and followed the mayor out of the room. mr. fudby rose. "i doubt i shall never see my money again," he said pettishly. "if you, chilter had not been so--" "allow me to offer you some snuff, mr. chilter," interposed my lord gently, extending his jewelled box. "doubtless, sir, you would wish to see my mare?" "i know nought of horses," snorted mr. fudby. "'tis my clerk who appears to have remarked all the details." he sneered terrifically. "then pray, do me the honour of walking as far as the stables, mr. chilter. 'twere as well to be certain about the mare. mr.-ah--fudby, your servant." * * * * * "and now, mr. chilter, i have a grudge against you," said carstares, as they walked across the little garden. "me, sir? oh--er--have you, sir anthony?" he looked up and perceived that the gentleman was laughing. "yes, mr. chilter, a very serious grudge: you have described me as fat!" chilter nearly fainted. "_you_, sir," he gasped, and stared in amazement. "also that i swear dreadfully in my speech, and that i have a scar running from my mouth to my chin." mr. chilter stood stock-still in the middle of the path. "it was you, sir, all the time? _you_ held us up? were _you_ the man who wrenched open the door?" "i was that infamous scoundrel. i beg leave once more to apologise for my carelessness in opening that same door. now tell me, why did you take such pains to throw dust in their sleepy eyes?" they resumed their walk slowly. the little clerk flushed. "i scarce know, sir, save that i--that i liked you, and--and--" "i see. 'twas prodigious good of you, mr. chilter. i wonder if there is anything that i can do to show my gratitude?" again the clerk flushed and lifted his head proudly. "i thank you, sir, but there is nought." by now they had reached the stable. carstares opened the door and they entered. "then will you accept this in token of my regard, sir?" mr. chilter gazed at the emerald ring that glowed and winked at him from the palm of my lord's hand. he looked up into the blue eyes and stammered a little. "indeed, sir--i--i--" "'tis honestly come by!" pleadingly. "come, mr. chilter, you'll not hurt my feelings by refusing? you will keep it in remembrance of a man--a fat man, mr. chilter--who rudely jerked you on to the road?" the clerk took it with unsteady fingers. "i thank you most--" "nay, i beg of you. 'tis i thank you for aiding me so kindly.... come and see my jenny! well, lass?" for the mare at the first sound of his voice had turned in her loose-box, and was whinnying and pawing the ground eagerly. "i do not understand, sir, anything: how it is that you are a highwayman, or why you have honoured me with your confidence--why you should trust me. but--thank you." as he spoke, mr. chilter placed his hand in my lord's, and for the second time in his life, felt the pressure of those firm, kindly fingers. "why, your honour! ye've lost your emerald!" "no, jim. i gave it away." "ye--ye _gave_ it away, sir?" "m'm. to the small spider." "b-but--" "and he called me fat, too." "called ye fat, sir?" asked the man, bewildered. "yes. very fat. by the way, let me tell you that i bought jenny at fittering to-day from the naughty ruffian who waylaid mr. bumble bee." he proceeded to give jim a sketch of what had transpired below. when he had finished the man shook his head severely. "i doubt ye'll never learn wisdom, sir," he scolded. "i? what have i done?" "what did ye want to tell it all to the spider man for, sir? 'twas most incautious of ye. like as not, he'll split to the fat gentleman, and we'll have the whole town at our heels." "which just shows all you know of the small spider," replied his master calmly. "hand me the powder." chapter iii introducing the hon. richard carstares wyncham! a stately old house with mullioned windows, standing high on its stone terraces, half-covered by creepers; a house surrounded by lawns, rolling down on the one side to a river that rippled and murmured its way along beneath overhanging trees and a blue sky, over boulders and rocks, so clear and sparkling that the myriad pebbles could be seen deep down on its bed. in the other direction, the velvet lawns stretched away till they met the orchards and the quiet meadowland. on two sides the house had its terraces, very white in the sunshine, with stone steps leading down to a miniature lake where water-lilies grew, and where the tiny fish darted to and fro unconcernedly. flagged walks there were, running between flower beds a riot of colour, and solemn old trees that had stood there through all the years. cool woodland lay beyond the little river, carpeted with dark moss, where in spring the primroses grew. so thick was the foliage of the trees that the sun but penetrated in uneven patches. up the terrace walls crept roses, yellow and red, pink and white, and tossed their trailing sprays across the parapet. over the walls of the house they climbed, mingling with purple clematis, jasmine, and sickly honeysuckle. the air was heavy with their united perfumes, while, wafted from a bed below, came the smoky scent of lavender. the old house seemed half asleep, basking in the sunlight. save for a peacock preening its feathers on the terrace steps, there was no sign of life.... the old place had harboured generations of carstares. earl had succeeded earl and reigned supreme, and it was only now that there was no earl living there. no one knew where he was. scarce a month ago one died, but the eldest son was not there to take his place. for six years he had been absent, and none dared breathe his name, for he disgraced that name, and the old earl cast him off and forbade all mention of him. but the poor folk of the countryside remembered him. they would tell one another tales of his reckless courage; his sweet smile and his winning ways; his light-heartedness and his never-failing kindness and good-humour. what a rider he was! to see him sit his horse! what a swordsman! do ye mind the time he fought young mr. welsh over yonder in the spinney with half the countryside watching? ah, he was a one, was master jack! do ye mind how he knocked the sword clean out o' mr. welsh's hand, and then stood waiting for him to pick it up? and do ye mind the way his eyes sparkled, and how he laughed, just for the sheer joy o' living? endless anecdotes would they tell, and the old gaffers would shake their heads and sigh, and long for the sight of him again. and they would jerk their thumbs towards the manor and shrug their old shoulders significantly. who wanted mr. richard for squire? not they, at least. they knew he was a good squire and a kindly man, but give them master john, who would laugh and crack a joke and never wear the glum looks that mr. richard affected. in the house, richard carstares paced to and fro in his library, every now and again pausing to glance wretchedly up at the portrait of his brother hanging over his desk. the artist had managed to catch the expression of those blue eyes, and they smiled down at richard in just the way that john was always wont to smile--so gaily, and withal so wistfully. richard was twenty-nine, but already he looked twice his age. he was very thin, and there were deep lines on his good-looking countenance. his grey eyes bore a haunted, care-worn look, and his mouth, though well-shaped, was curiously lacking in determination. he was dressed soberly, and without that touch of smartness that had characterised him six years ago. he wore black in memory of his father, and it may have been that severity, only relieved by the lace at his throat, that made his face appear so prematurely aged. there was none of his brother's boyishness about him; even his smile seemed forced and tired, and his laughter rarely held merriment. he pulled out his chronometer, comparing it with the clock on the mantelpiece. his pacing took him to the door, and almost nervously he pulled it open, listening. no sound came to his ears. back again, to and fro across the room, eagerly awaiting the clanging of a bell. it did not come, but presently a footfall sounded on the passage without, and someone knocked at the door. in two strides richard was by it, and had flung it wide. warburton stood there. richard caught his hand. "warburton! at last! i have been waiting this hour and more!" mr. warburton disengaged himself, bowing. "i regret i was not able to come before, sir," he said primly. "i make no doubt you travelled back as quickly as possible--come in, sir." he led the lawyer into the room and shut the door. "sit down, warburton--sit down. you--you found my brother?" again warburton bowed. "i had the felicity of seeing his lordship, sir." "he was well? in good spirits? you thought him changed--yes? aged perhaps, or--" "his lordship was not greatly changed, sir." richard almost stamped in his impatience. "come, warburton, come! tell me everything. what did he say? will he take the revenues? will he--" "his lordship, sir, was reluctant to take anything, but upon maturer consideration, he--ah--consented to accept his elder son's portion. the revenues of the estate he begs you will make use of." "ah! but you told him that i would touch nought belonging to him?" "i tried to persuade his lordship, sir. to no avail. he desires you to use wyncham as you will." "i'll not touch his money!" warburton gave the faintest of shrugs. "that is as you please, sir." something in the suave voice made richard, from his stand by the desk, glance sharply down at the lawyer. suspicion flashed into his eyes. he seemed about to speak, when warburton continued: "i believe i may set your mind at rest on one score, mr. carstares: his lordship's situation is tolerably comfortable. he has ample means." "but--but he lives by--robbery!" warburton's thin lips curled a little. "does he not?" persisted carstares. "so he would have us believe, sir." "'tis true! he--waylaid me!" "and robbed you, sir?" "rob me? he could not rob his own brother, warburton!" "your pardon, mr. carstares--you are right: his lordship could not rob a brother. yet have i known a man do such a thing." for a long minute there was no word spoken. the suspicion that had dwelt latent in carstares' eyes sprang up again. some of the colour drained from his cheeks, and twice he passed his tongue between his lips. the fingers of his hand, gripping a chair-back, opened and shut spasmodically. rather feverishly his eyes searched the lawyer's face, questioning. "john told you--told you--" he started, and floundered hopelessly. "his lordship told me nothing, sir. he was singularly reticent. but there was nothing he could tell me that i did not already know." "what do you mean, warburton? why do you look at me like that? why do you fence with me? in plain words, what do you mean?" warburton rose, clenching his hands. "i know you, master richard, for what you are!" "ah!" carstares flung out his hand as if to ward off a blow. another tense silence. with a great effort warburton controlled himself, and once more the mask of impassivity seemed to descend upon him. after that one tortured cry richard became calm again. he sat down; on his face a look almost of relief, coming after a great strain. "you learnt the truth ... from john. he ... will expose me?" "no, sir. i have not learnt it from him. and he will never expose you." richard turned his head. his eyes, filled now with a species of dull pain, looked full into warburton's. "oh?" he said. "then you...?" "nor i, sir. i have pledged my word to his lordship. i would not speak all these years for your father's sake--now it is for his." he choked. "you ... are fond of john?" still the apathetic, weary voice. "fond of him--? good god, master dick, i love him!" "and i," said richard, very low. he received no reply, and looked up. "you don't believe me?" "once, sir, i was certain of it. now--!" he shrugged. "yet 'tis true, warburton. i would give all in my power to undo that night's work." "you cannot expect me to believe that, sir. it rests with you alone whether his name be cleared or not. and you remain silent." "warburton, i--oh, do you think it means nothing to me that john is outcast?" before the misery in those grey eyes some of warburton's severity fell away from him. "master richard, i want to think the best i can of you. master jack would tell me nothing. will you not--can you not explain how it came that you allowed him to bear the blame of your cheat?" richard shuddered. "there's no explanation--no excuse. i forced it on him! on jack, my brother! because i was mad for love of lavinia--oh, my god, the thought of it is driving me crazed! i thought i could forget; and then--and then--i met him! the sight of him brought it all back to me. ever since that day i have not known how to live and not shriek the truth to everyone! and i never shall! i never shall!" "tell me, sir," pleaded warburton, touched in spite of himself. richard's head sunk into his hands. "the whole scene is a nightmare.... i think i must have been mad.... i scarce knew what i was about. i--" "gently, sir. remember i know hardly anything. what induced you to mark the cards?" "that debt to gundry. my father would not meet it; i had to find the money. i could not face the scandal--i tell you i was mad for lavinia! i could think of nought else. i ceased to care for john because i thought him in love with her. i could not bear to think of the disgrace which would take her from me.... then that night at dare's. i was losing; i knew i could not pay. gad! but i can see my notes of hand under milward's elbow, growing... growing. "jack had played milward before me, and he had won. i remember they laughed at him, saying his luck had turned at last--for he always lost at cards. milward and i played with the same pack that they had used.... there was another table, i think. dare was dicing with fitzgerald; someone was playing faro with jack behind me. i heard jack say his luck was out again--i heard them laugh.... and all the time i was losing ... losing. "the pin of my cravat fell out on to my knee. i think no one saw it. as i picked it up the thought that i should mark the cards seemed to flash into my mind--oh, it was despicable, i know! i held the ace of clubs in my hand: i scratched it with that pin--in one corner. it was easily done. by degrees i marked all four, and three of the kings. "no one noticed, but i was nervous--i dared do no more. i replaced that pin. soon i began to win--not very much. then tracy belmanoir came across the room to watch our play. from that moment everything seemed to go awry. it was the beginning of the trouble. "tracy stood behind me watching.... i could feel him there, like some black moth, hovering.... i don't know how long he stayed like that--it seemed hours. i could feel his eyes.... i could have shrieked--i'll swear my hands were trembling. "suddenly he moved. i had played the ace of hearts. he said: 'one moment!' in that soft, sinister voice of his. "milward was surprised. i tried to tell myself that devil had noticed nothing.... the mark on that card was so faint that i could scarce see it myself. i thought it impossible that he, a mere onlooker, should discover it. he stepped forward. i remember he brushed my shoulder. i remember how the light caught the diamonds he was wearing. i think my brain was numbed. i could only repeat to myself: 'extravagant devil! extravagant devil!' and stare at those winking jewels. then i thought: 'he is lavinia's brother, but i do not like him; i do not like him...' --little foolish things like that--and my throat was dry--parched. "he bent over the table ... stretched out his white, white hand ... turned over the ace ... lifted his quizzing glass ... and stared down at the card. then he dropped the glass and drew out his snuff-box.... it had aphrodite enamelled on the lid. i remember it so distinctly.... i heard tracy ask milward to examine the ace. i wanted to spring up and strangle him.... i could scarce keep my hands still." richard paused. he drew his hand across his eyes, shuddering. "milward saw the scratch. he cried out that the cards were marked! suddenly everyone seemed to be gathered about our table--all talking! jack had his hand on my shoulder; he and dare were running through the pack. but all the while i could look at no one but tracy--andover. he seemed so sinister, so threatening, in those black clothes of his. his eyes were almost shut--his face so white. and he was looking at me! he seemed to be reading my very soul.... for an instant i thought he knew! i wanted to shout out that he was wrong! i wanted to shriek to him to take his eyes away! heaven knows what i should have done!... but he looked away--at jack, with that sneering smile on his damned mask of a face! i could have killed him for that smile! i think jack understood it--he dropped the cards, staring at tracy. "everyone was watching them ... no one looked at me. if they had they must surely have learnt the truth; but they were hanging on andover's lips, looking from him to jack and back again.... i remember fitzgerald dropped his handkerchief--i was absurdly interested in that. i was wondering why he did not pick it up, when andover spoke again.... 'and carstares' luck turned...?' like that, warburton! with just that faint, questioning in his voice. "before jack could speak there was an outcry. dare cried 'shame!' to andover. they laughed at him, as well they might. but i saw them exchange glances--they were wondering.... it was suspicious that jack should have had that run of luck--and that he should lose as soon as he left that table. "milward--poor, silly milward--gaped at tracy and stuttered that surely 'twas another pack we had used. i could hardly breathe! then andover corrected him--how did he _know_? no one else remembered, or thought of noticing--only he! "i can see jack now, standing there so stiffly, with his head thrown up, and those blue eyes of his flashing. "'do i understand you to accuse me, belmanoir?' he said. oh, but he was furious! "tracy never said a word. only his eyes just flickered to my face and away again. "jack's hand was gripping my shoulder hard. i could feel his anger.... dare called out that the suggestion was preposterous. that john should cheat! "tracy asked him if the cards were his. gad! i can hear his soft, mocking voice now! "dare went purple--you know his way, warburton. "'opened in your presence on this table!' he cried. "'by carstares!' smiled tracy. "it was true. but why should tracy remember it, and none other? they stared at him, amazed. dare turned to jack for corroboration. he nodded. i think he never looked haughtier.... "you know how fond of jack dare was? he tried to bluster it off--tried to get control over the affair. it was to no avail. we were puppets, worked by that devil, belmanoir! one man managing that ghastly scene.... he pointed out that only three of us had used that pack: jack, milward and i. "jack laughed. "'next you will accuse dick!' he snapped scornfully. "'one of you, certainly,' smiled andover. 'or milward.' "then everyone realised that one of us three must have marked the cards. milward was upset, but no one suspected him. it was jack--or me. "as long as i live i shall never forget the horror of those moments. if i were exposed it meant the end of everything between lavinia and me. i tell you, warburton, i would have committed any sin at that moment! nothing would have been too black--i could not bear to lose her. you don't know what she meant to me!" "i can guess, sir," said the lawyer, gravely. "no, no! no one could imagine the depths of my love for her! i think not even jack.... i felt his hand leave my shoulder.... the truth had dawned on him. i heard the way the breath hissed between his teeth as he realised.... somehow i got to my feet, clutching at the table, facing him. i don't excuse myself--i know my conduct was beyond words dastardly. i looked across at him--just said his name, as though i could scarce believe my ears. so all those watching thought. but jack knew better. he knew i was imploring him to save me. he understood all that i was trying to convey to him. for an instant he stared at me. i thought--i thought--god forgive me, i prayed that he might take the blame on himself. then he smiled. coward though i was, when i saw that hurt, wistful little smile on his lips, i nearly blurted out the whole truth. not quite.... i suppose i was too mean-spirited for that. "jack bowed to the room and again to dare. he said: 'i owe you an apology, sir.' "dare sprang forward, catching him by the shoulder--crying out that it could not be true! when jack laughed--he fell away from him as from the plague. and all of them! my god, to see them drawing away--not looking at jack! and jack's face--growing paler and harder ... every moment.... all his friends... turning their backs to him. davenant--even jim davenant walked away to the fireplace with evans. "i could not look at jack. i dared not. i could not go to him--stand by him! i had not the right. i had to leave him there--in the middle of the room--alone. the awful hurt in his eyes made me writhe. the room was whirling round--i felt sick--i know i fell back into my chair, hiding my face. i hardly cared whether they suspected me or not. but they did not. they knew how great was the love between us, and they were not surprised that i broke down. "i heard andover's soft voice ... he was telling some tale to dare. oh, they were well-bred those men! they skimmed over the unpleasant little episode--ignored jack! "jack spoke again. i could guess how bravely he was keeping a proud front. i know word for word what he said: 'mr. dare, your grace, gentlemen--my apologies for being the cause of so unpleasant an incident. pray give me leave.' "they paid no heed. i heard him walk to the door--heard him open it. i could not look at him. he--he paused ... and said just one word: 'dick!' quite softly. heaven knows how i got to him! i know i overturned my chair. that drew dare's attention. he said: 'you are not going, dick?' i shouted 'yes,' at him, and then jack took my arm, leading me out. "and--and all he said was: 'poor old dick!'... he--he had no word of blame for me. he would not allow me to go back and tell the truth--as i would have done. ay, warburton, when jack called me to him, i could have cried it aloud--but--he would not have it.... he said: 'for lavinia's sake.'..." warburton blew his nose violently. his fingers were trembling. "you know what happened afterwards. you know how my father turned jack out penniless--you know how his friends shunned him--you know my poor mother's grief. and you know that he went away--that we could not find him when--my mother died.... his last words to me--were: 'make lavinia-happy--and try to forget--all this.' forget it! heavens! try as i might, i could hear nothing further of him until two months ago, when he--waylaid me. then i was half-dazed at the suddenness of it. he--he grasped my hand--and--laughed! it was so dark, i could scarce see him. i only had time to demand his address, and then--he was off--galloping away over the heath. i think--even then--he bore no malice." "he does not now!" said warburton sharply. "but, master dick, if all this is true, why do you not even now clear him? surely--" richard turned his head slowly. "now i may not drag my wife's name through the mud. by clearing him--i ruin her." warburton could find nothing to say. only after some time did he clear his throat and say that he was honoured by carstares' confidence. "you--ah--you dwell on the part played by his grace on that evening. surely your--shall we say--overwrought imagination magnified that?" richard was disinterested. "i suppose so. mayhap 'twas his extraordinary personality dominating me. he cannot have pulled the wires as i thought he did. not even belmanoir could make me act as i did. but--but at the time i felt that he was pushing--pushing--compelling me to accuse jack. oh, doubtless i was mad!" warburton eyed the dejected figure compassionately. then he seemed to harden himself and to regain some of his lost primness of manner. "you--ah--you are determined not to accept the revenues, sir?" "i have not yet sunk so low, mr. warburton." "his lordship leaves wyncham and all appertaining to it at your disposal. he would be grieved at your refusal." "i will not touch it." the lawyer nodded. "i confess, mr. carstares, i am relieved to hear you say that. it will not be necessary again to communicate with his lordship. i think he does not desire any intercourse with--his family. he finds it too painful. but he wished to be remembered to you, sir. also to her ladyship." "thank you.... you could--ascertain nothing of his situation? he did not confide in you?" "he was very reticent, sir. i think he is not unhappy." "and not--embittered?" "certainly not that, sir." mr. warburton rose, plainly anxious to be gone. reluctantly richard followed his example. "you--have nothing further to tell me of him?" "i regret, sir--nothing." richard went slowly to the door, and opened it. "you must allow me to thank you, sir, for your goodness in undertaking what i know must have been a painful task. i am very grateful." mr. warburton bowed low. "i beg you will not mention it, sir. nothing i might do for the carstares could be aught but a pleasure." again he bowed, and the next instant was gone. chapter iv introducing the lady lavinia carstares richard went slowly back to his chair. after a moment he sat down, staring blankly out of the window, his hands loosely clasped on the desk before him. so he remained for a long while, immobile. at last, with the faintest of sighs, he moved and picked up a quill. he dipped it in the ink, and, with his other hand, drew towards him a sheaf of papers. presently he was writing steadily. for perhaps twenty minutes the quill travelled to and fro across the pages; then it paused, and richard looked up towards the door. it opened to admit lady lavinia. she came rustling into the room with her embroidery in her hand. she dropped her husband a mock curtsey and went over to a high-backed armchair, stretching out a dimpled hand to draw it forward. but even as her fingers touched it she had changed her mind, and fluttered over to the couch, there to seat herself with much swirling of brocades and arrangement of skirts. she then proceeded to occupy herself with her work, plying her needle hurriedly and jerkily. richard watched her in silence, following each turn of the pretty hand and each movement of her fair head. the silence was evidently not to my lady's taste, for she presently began to beat an impatient tattoo on the floor with one slender foot. still he said nothing, and she raised her pure china-blue eyes to his face. "why so glum, dick? why do you not talk to me?" her voice was rather high-pitched and childish, and she had a curious way of ending each sentence with an upward lilt and a long drawn-out accent, very fascinating to listen to. richard smiled with an obvious effort. "am i, my dear? i crave your pardon. warburton has just been." her face clouded over instantly, and the full-lipped mouth drooped petulantly. "he has seen him." "oh?" she made the word twice its length, and filled it with disinterest. "yes. jack will have none of it. he asks me to be his steward and to use wyncham as i will. he is very generous." "yes, oh yes. and you will, richard?" he ignored the question. "he--warburton--says he is not much changed." "oh?" again the long-drawn monosyllable, accompanied by a tiny yawn. "he says he does not think--jack--bears me ill-will--" he paused, as if expecting her to speak, but she was absorbed in arranging two flowers--culled from a bowl at her side--at her breast, and took no notice. carstares turned his head away wearily. "if it were not for you, my dear, i would tell the truth. i believe i shall go crazed an i do not." "dick!" ... she dropped the flowers on the floor and thought no more about them. "dick!" "oh, you need have no fear! i do not suppose," bitterly, "that i have the courage to face them all now--after six years." lavinia moved restlessly, brushing her hand along the couch. "you will not do it, richard? promise! you _will_ not? i could not bear the disgrace of it; promise me you will never do it?" "no," he said slowly, not looking at her. "no, i cannot promise that." she sprang to her feet, flinging her broidery from her carelessly, and waved fierce, agitated little hands. "that means you will do it. you _want_ to disgrace me! you do not _care_ how you hurt me by holding this threat over my head so cruelly! you--" "lavinia, for heaven's sake!" he implored, pushing back his chair. "calm yourself!" he knew she was about to fly into one of her sudden passions, and frowned with acute vexation. "i will not! oh yes, yes! you think me a shrew! i know! i know! but you need not frown on me, sir, for you are worse! no, i will not hush. i am a horrid woman, yes, but you are a cheat--a cheat--a cheat!" carstares strode over to her. "lavinia!" "no--no! leave me alone! you make me miserable! you refuse me everything that i want most, and then you threaten to disgrace me--" "that is untrue!" cried richard, goaded into replying. "i will not promise, that is all. what have i refused you that was within my means to give you? god knows you try your best to ruin me--" "there! there! 'tis _i_ who am to blame! pray, did you not induce my lord to leave his money to john when you knew he would have willed it all to you an you had kept silence? you took no thought to me--" "for heaven's sake, lavinia, be still! you do not know what you are saying!" she pressed her hands to her hot cheeks. "no--i am unreasonable! i know it, but don't _tell_ me so, for i cannot bear it! and don't look reproach at me, richard! you drive me mad, i tell you!" she was sweeping up and down the room like some caged animal, lashing herself to a worse fury. "say something, richard! _do_ something! don't stand there so quietly! oh, you should never have married me! i displease you, and you make me worse; and you do not see how 'tis that i cannot live without pleasure, and money! i am despicable? yes, yes, but what are you? oh, why did you tell me you cheated _after_ you had wedded me?" angry sobs escaped her; her handkerchief was in shreds upon the floor. carstares turned his back to her, that she might not see how she had contrived to hurt him, and the movement drove her to fresh fury. "don't do that! don't! don't! you make me worse by your dreadful silence! oh, if you really loved me!" "you cannot doubt that!" he cried out, wheeling suddenly round. "you know how i love you! don't you?" he gripped her by the shoulders and swung her to face him. she trembled and gave a sobbing little laugh. as suddenly as it had come, her anger left her. "oh, yes, yes! you do love me, dicky?" she twined her arms about his neck and shrank closer. "god help me, yes!" he groaned, thrusting her away. "and you--you care for no one save yourself!" "no! no!" she cried, pressing up to him again. "do not say that, dick. indeed, i love you, but i cannot live without gaiety--you know i cannot. oh, i do not doubt but what i am very selfish, but 'tis the way i am fashioned, and i cannot change my nature. and now i have hurt you, and i did not mean to! i did not mean to!" "my dear, i know you did not; but try to be less a child, i beg of you! you are so uncontrolled, so--" "i knew you would say that," she answered in a dead voice. "you do not understand me. you expect me to be good, and patient, and forbearing, and i tell you 'tis not in my nature." "but, lavinia, you can control your passions," he said gently. "no! i cannot! we belmanoirs--as god made us, so we are--and he made us spendthrift, and pleasure-loving, and mad!" she walked slowly to the door. "but you do not understand, and you try to make me staid, and thoughtful, and a good mother, when i am dying for _life_, and excitement, and care not that for housewifery!" she opened the door slowly. "and now my head aches, and you look grave and say 'tis my wicked temper, when i want you to be sorry, and to be ready to do anything to comfort me. why can you not take me to london, when you know how i long to be there, instead of in this gloomy house with nought to do, save mind my child and my needle? i am so tired of it all! so very tired of it all!" she would have left the room then, but he detained her. "wait, lavinia! you say you are unhappy?" she released the door handle and fluttered her hands expressively. "unhappy? no, i am dull. i am ill-tempered. i am discontented. i am aught you please, so do not be sad, richard. i cannot bear you to be solemn. oh, why do we quarrel?" with one of her impulsive movements she was again at his side, with her beautiful face upturned. "love me, richard! take me to london and never mind an i _do_ squander your money. say you do not care! say that nothing matters so long as i am happy! why do you not say it? does anything matter? don't be prudent, dicky! be wild! be reckless! be anything rather than grave and old!" her arms crept up to his coaxingly. "take me to london!" carstares smoothed the soft hair back from her forehead, very tenderly, but his eyes were worried. "my dear, i will take you, but not just yet. there is so much to be done here. if you will wait a little longer--" "ah, if i will wait! if i will be patient and good! but i cannot! oh, you don't understand, dicky--you don't understand!" "i am sorry, dear. i promise i will take you as soon as possible, and we will stay as long as you please." her arms fell away. "i want to go now!" "dear--" "very well--very well. we will go presently. only don't reason with me." he looked at her concernedly. "you are overwrought, my love--and tired." "yes," she agreed listlessly. "oh yes; i will go now and rest. forgive me, dick!" she kissed her finger-tips and extended them to him. "i will be good one day." she turned and hurried out of the room and up the stairs, leaving the door open behind her. richard stayed for a moment looking round at the signs of her late presence. mechanically he stooped to pick up her embroidery and the pieces of her handkerchief. the two flowers were broken off short, and he threw them away. then he left the room and went out on to the sunny terrace, gazing across the beautiful gardens into the blue distance. across the lawn came a child of four or five, waving a grimy hand. "father!" richard looked down at him and smiled. "well, john?" the boy climbed up the terrace steps, calling his news all the way. "'tis uncle andrew, sir. he has rid over to see you, and is coming through the garden to find you." "is he? has he left his horse at the stables?" "ay, sir. so i came to tell you." "quite right. will you come with me to meet him?" the little rosy face lighted up with pleasure. "oh, may i?" he cried and slipped his hand in richard's. together they descended the steps and made their way across the lawn. "i have run away from betty," announced john with some pride. "there's uncle andrew, sir!" he bounded away towards the approaching figure. lord andrew belmanoir was richard's brother-in-law, brother to the present duke. he came up with john in his arms and tumbled him to the ground. "good day, dick! 'tis a spoilt child you have here!" "ay. he is but now escaped from his nurse." "splendid! come, john, you shall walk with us, and we'll confound fat betty!" he slipped his arm through richard's as he spoke. "come, dick! there's a deal i have to say to you." he grimaced ruefully. the child ran on ahead towards the woods, a great bull-mastiff at his heels. "what's to do now?" asked richard, looking round into the mobile, dissipated countenance. "the devil's in it this time, and no mistake," answered his lordship with a rueful shake of his head. "debts?" "lord, yes! i was at delaby's last night, and the stakes were high. altogether i've lost about three thousand--counting what i owe carew. and devil take me an i know where 'tis to come from! here's tracy turned saint and swears he'll see me damned before he hands me another penny. i doubt he means it, too." tracy was the duke. richard smiled a little cynically; he had already had to lend his grace a thousand guineas to pay off some "trifling debt." "he means it right enough. i believe it would puzzle him to find it." "do you say so? why, 'tis impossible man! tracy was in town scarce a fortnight since, and he had a run of the devil's own luck. i tell you dick, i saw him walk off with a cool five thousand one night! and then he denies me a paltry three! lord, what a brother! and all with the air of an angel, as if _he_ had never lost at dice. and a homily thrown in! anyone would think i had cheated, instead of--ahem!... dick, i'm confoundedly sorry! damned thoughtless of me--never thought about jo--about what i was saying--i'm a fool!" for richard had winced. "you cannot help that," he said, forcing a laugh. "have done with your apologies, and continue." they had come to the stream by now, and crossed the little bridge into the wood. "oh, there's not much more. 'tis only that something must be done, for carew won't wait, and stap me if i'd ask him, the lean-faced scarecrow!--so i came to you, dick." he let go richard's arm and flung himself down on a fallen tree-trunk, regardless of velvet and laces. "you're a good fellow, and you don't lecture a man as tracy does, devil take him! and you play high yourself, or you did, though 'tis an age since i saw you win or lose enough to wink at. and, after all, you're lavvy's husband, and--oh, damn it all, dick, 'tis monstrous hard to ask you!" carstares, leaning against a tree, surveyed the youthful rake amusedly. "'tush, andrew!" he reassured him. "you're welcome to ask, but the lord knows where i'm to find it! gad, what a life! here's lavinia keeps buying silks, and i don't know what all, and--" "she was ever a spendthrift jade," said andrew with a mighty frown. richard laughed at him. "you're a thrifty fellow yourself, of course!" andrew looked round for something to throw at him, and finding nothing, relapsed once more into deepest despondency. "you're in the right of't. we're a worthless lot. 'tis the old man's blood in us, i doubt not, with a smattering of her grace. you never knew my mother, richard. she was french--lavvy's the spit of her. there's tracy--stap me, but tracy's the very devil! have you ever seen a face like his? no, i'll swear you've not! what with his sneering mouth and his green eyes--oh, 'tis enough to make a fellow go to the dogs to have a brother like it, 'pon my soul it is! ay, you laugh, but i tell you 'tis serious!" "ay, go on!" "well next there's bob--damn it all, but i'm sorry for bob! 'tis a beggarly pittance they give one in the army, and he was never one to pinch and scrape. well, as i say, there's bob, and i never see him, but what it's: 'lend me a hundred, andy!' or the like. and all to buy his mistress some gewgaw. that's what sickens me! why, bob's for ever in some scrape with a petticoat, and as for tracy! gad, how they can! then there's lavinia, but i should think you know her by now, and lastly, there's your humble servant. and i tell you, dick, what with the racing, and the cards, and the bottle, i shall be a ruined man before you can turn round! and the pother is i'll never be any different. 'tis in the blood, so where's the use in trying?" he made a rueful grimace, and rose. "come on, young rip! we're going back." john, engaged in the task of hunting for tadpoles in the water some yards distant, nodded and ran on. "i fear my lady is indisposed," said richard hesitatingly. "you wished to see her?" andrew winked knowingly. "tantrums, eh? oh, i know her. no, i do not care an i do not see her; 'tis little enough she cares for me, though she's as thick as thieves with tracy--oh, ay, i'll be dumb." they walked slowly back to the house, andrew, silent for once, twirling his gold-mounted cane. "you shall have the money, of course. when do you want it?" said richard presently. "'pon honour, you're a devilish good fellow, dick! but if 'tis like to put you to any--" "nonsense. when do you need it?" "i should pay carew as soon as may be. markham can wait over if--" "no, no! wednesday?" "'twill do excellently well. dick, you're a--" "oh, pshaw! 'tis nought. i want your opinion on the bay mare i bought last week. you'll maybe think her a trifle long in the leg, but she's a fine animal." john had run indoors, and the two men proceeded to the stables alone, andrew discoursing all the way, recounting for his brother-in-law's benefit the choicest morsels of scandal that were circulating town at the moment. that his auditor but attended with half an ear affected him not at all; he never paused for an answer, and, in any case, was far too good-natured to care if he received none. by the time they had duly inspected the mare and walked back to the house, it was nearly four o'clock, and, not altogether to carstares' surprise, lavinia was awaiting them on the terrace, clad in a totally different gown, and with her hair freshly arranged and curled. "'twould appear that lavinia has recovered," remarked andrew as they mounted the steps. "she was ever thus--not two minutes the same. well, lavvy?" "well, andrew?" she gave him a careless hand to kiss, but smiled sweetly up at her husband. "my headache is so much better," she told him, "and they said that andrew was come to see you. so i came downstairs." she turned eagerly to her brother. "tell me, andrew, is tracy at home?" "lord, yes! he arrived yesterday, devil take him! do you want him?" "oh, yes," she nodded. "i want to see him again. i've not set eyes on him for an age. i want you to take me back with you." "surely, my dear, 'tis a trifle late in the day for such a drive?" demurred richard, trying to conceal his annoyance. "can you not wait until to-morrow?" "faith, you'll have to, lavvy, for i'll not take you to-day, that's certain. i'm riding to fletcher's when i leave here. tracy can visit you to-morrow an he chooses." "will he?" she asked doubtfully. andrew clapped his hand to his vest pocket. "if i had not forgot!" he exclaimed. "i've a letter from him for you. he intends waiting on you to-morrow, in any case. lord, what it is to have a scatter brain like mine!" he pulled a handful of papers from his pocket and selected one, sealed, and addressed in a sloping italian handwriting. lavinia pounced upon it joyfully, and tore it open. andrew restored the rest of the documents to his pocket with yet another rueful laugh. "duns, richard! duns!" "give them to me," answered the other, holding out his hand. "oh, no! but many thanks, dick. these are quite unimportant." "why not pay them all, and start afresh?" urged carstares. "lord, no! why, i should be so damned elated that before the day was out there'd be a score of fresh debts staring me in the face!" "let me lend you a thousand to begin on? could you not keep out of debt?" "i keep out of debt? impossible! don't look so solemn, dick; i told you 'twas in the blood. we never have a penny to bless ourselves with, but what's the odds? i shall have a run of luck soon--a man can't always lose. then i shall be able to repay you, but, of course, i shan't. it'll all go at the next table. _i_ know!" he spoke so ingenuously that richard could not be angry with him. there was a certain frankness about him that pleased, and though he might be spendthrift and heedless, and colossally selfish, richard felt a genuine affection for him. he would have liked to argue the point further, but lavinia came forward, refolding her letter. "tracy is coming to-morrow afternoon," she told her husband. "'twill be prodigiously agreeable, will it not?" he assented, but with a lack of warmth that did not fail to strike her ears. "and he will stay to dine with us!" she cried challengingly. "certainly, my love." "look pleased, dicky, look pleased! why don't you like tracy? he is my own brother; you _must_ like him!" "of course i like him, lavinia. pray, do not be foolish." "oh, i am not! don't be cross, dicky dear!" "well, if you like him, i'm surprised," broke in andrew. "i can't bear him! ay, flash your eyes at me, lavvy; i don't mind." lavinia opened her mouth to retaliate, but richard hastily interposed. their bickering was more than he could bear, and he never understood how lavinia could stoop to quarrel with the boisterous youth, who tried so palpably to rouse her. he bore them both off to the house, feeling much like a nursemaid with two recalcitrant children. chapter v his grace of andover lady lavinia dressed herself with even more than her usual care next afternoon, and well-nigh drove her maid distracted by her flashes of temper and impatient, contradictory orders. so lengthy was the toilet that she was only just in her boudoir when his grace of andover was announced. she had no time to tell the footman that she would receive his grace, for almost before the words were out of james' mouth, he stood bowing in the doorway, sure of his welcome. he was curiously like his sister, this man, and at the same time curiously unlike. hers were the high cheek-bones and pinched, aristocratic nostrils, but the mouth with its thin lips, and the heavy-lidded green eyes, were totally different. his grace's brows slanted up at the corners, and his eyes, though piercing and bright, were constantly veiled by the black-lashed lids. he wore his own black hair, unpowdered, and that, together with the black and silver garments that he always affected, greatly enhanced the natural pallor of his countenance. altogether it was a very striking figure that stood just before the closed white door and bowed to my lady. lavinia took an eager step towards him, swinging her pearl-grey brocades. "oh, tracy!" she cooed, holding out both hands. his grace advanced into the room and bent low over them. "i rejoice to find you within, lavinia," he said, a faint tinge of sarcasm running through his smooth tones. "as you perceive, i rode over." he made a gesture towards his high boots with their wicked-looking spurs. "no doubt andrew forgot to give you my letter?" "no," she said, slipping her hand in his arm. "he remembered in time, and--oh, tracy, i was so vastly delighted to have it!" "i am indeed honoured," he replied. "i am come on a sufficiently important matter." "oh!" she pulled her hand away disappointedly. "money!" "you are really wonderful, my dear. as you so crudely remark--money! will you not be seated?" she sank down on the couch dejectedly and watched him take a chair opposite her. "your most noble lord and master lent me a trifling sum the other day, but very trifling. i am, as usual, hard-pressed. and that young fool andrew must needs fall into debt." my lady opened wide her eyes in surprise. "do you tell me you need money from richard to pay andrew's debts?" she asked, frankly incredulous. "i do not. is it likely? the remark was purely by the way." "well, in any case, andrew borrowed three thousand from poor dick only yesterday. i know, because i heard him speak of it." his grace raised his black brows in patient exasperation. "how unnecessary of andrew! and how typical! so 'poor dick' has been squeezed already?" "don't speak like that, tracy!" she cried. "dicky is good to me!" she met his piercing look unflinchingly. "now this becomes interesting," drawled the duke. "since when have you come to that conclusion? and why this sudden loyalty?" "i have _always_ been loyal to him, tracy! you know i have! i worry him--and indeed he is very forbearing." "but how charming of him!" "no, do not sneer, tracy! he has promised to take me to london for the whole winter--" his grace leant back in his chair again. "now i understand," he said placidly. "i was at a loss before." "'tis not that, tracy! indeed i realise how kind he is to me. and we have quarrelled again. we are always quarrelling, and i know 'tis all my fault." "what a comfortable conviction, my dear!" "no, no! 'tis not comfortable, tracy! for somehow i cannot change my disposition, though i _mean_ to be patient and sweet. tracy, i hate wyncham!" "you hate wyncham? there was a time--" "i know, i know! but i never meant to live here always like this! i want to go to london!" "i thought you said you were going?" "yes, i am! but i want to go with someone who is gay-not--not--" "in fact, you want distraction, and not with the amiable richard? well, i can conceive that life with him might prove uninspiring. safe, my dear, but not exciting." "i knew you would understand! you see, he does not like me to play at cards, because i cannot stop! and he cannot see how 'tis that i care nought for what he calls 'home-life' when there are routs, and the play, and _real_ life. he--he is so--so--so _staid,_ tracy, and careful!" "a good trait in a husband, lavinia," replied his grace cynically. "'tis because i do not possess it that i am single now." her lips curled scornfully at this, for well she knew her brother. "no, tracy, that is not so! it is because you are a devil! no woman would marry you!" "that is most interesting, my dear," purred his grace. "but pray strive to be a little more original. continue your analysis of richard's sterling character." "'tis only that we are so different," she sighed. "i always desire to do things quickly--if i think of something, i want it at once--at once! you know, tracy! and he likes to wait and think on it, and--oh, 'tis so tiresome, and it puts me in a bad humour, and i behave like a hysterical bourgeoise!" she got up swiftly, clasping her nervous little hands. "when he speaks to me in that gentle, reasoning way, i could scream, tracy! do you think i am mad?" she laughed unmusically. "no," he replied, "but the next thing to it: a belmanoir. perhaps it was a pity you ever married richard. but there is always the money." "there is not," she cried out sharply. "not? what mean you?" "tracy, 'tis of this that i wanted to speak! you think my lord left his money to dick?" "certainly. he should be stupendously wealthy." "he is not!" "but, my good girl, the revenue must be enormous. he has the land, surely?" "no! no! he has not the land! oh, but i am angry whenever i think on it! he induced my lord to leave it to john. _he_ has but his younger son's portion!" "i still fail to understand. you informed me that the earl left all to richard?" "he changed his will, tracy!" "he--changed--his--will! then, my dear, must you have played your cards very badly!" "'twas not my fault, tracy--indeed 'twas not! i knew nought until the will was read. richard never spoke a word to me about it! and now we are comparatively poor!" her voice trembled with indignation, but his grace only whistled beneath his breath. "i always knew, of course, that dick was a fool, but i never guessed how much so till now!" at that she flared up. "he is not a fool! he is an honest man, and 'tis we_--we_, i tell you--who are mean and despicable and mercenary!" "undoubtedly, lavinia, but pray do not excite yourself over it. i suppose he is still devoted to that young hothead?" "yes, yes--'tis all jack, jack, jack, until i am sick to death of the sound of his name--and--" she broke off, biting her lip. "and what?" "oh, nought! but 'tis all so disagreeable, tracy!" "it certainly is slightly disturbing. you had better have chosen john, in spite of all, it seems." she stamped angrily. "oh, where's the good in being flippant?" "my dear lavinia, where's the good in being anything else? the situation strikes me as rather amusing. to think of the worthy richard so neatly overturning all my plans!" "if it had not been for you, i might never have married him. why did you throw them both in my way? why did i ever set eyes on either?" "it should have been a good match, my dear, and, if i remember rightly, no one was more alive to that fact than yourself." she pouted angrily and turned her shoulder to him. "still," he continued reflectively, "i admit that for the smart lot we are, we do seem rather to have bungled the affair." lavinia swept round upon him. "oh, do you care no more than that? how can you be so casual! does it affect you not at all?" he wrinkled his thin nose expressively. "i shall not weep over it, lavinia, but 'tis a plaguey nuisance. but we must see what can be done. and that brings me back to the original subject. despite these upsetting revelations, i still require that money." "oh, dear! how much must you have, tracy?" "five hundred might suffice." "tracy, do not the estates bring in anything?" she asked petulantly. "and andrew told us you had a run of marvellous luck not a fortnight since?" "since then, my dear, i have had three runs of marvellous ill-luck. as to the estates, they are mortgaged up to the hilt, as you very well know. what little there is is between three. and robert is extravagant." "i hate robert!" "i am not partial to him myself, but it makes no odds." "i wish he might die!--oh no, no! now i am become ill-natured again--i don't wish it--only i am so tired of everything. you shall have that money as soon as possible; but be careful, tracy--please be careful! 'tis not easy to get money from dick!" "no, i should imagine not. however, we have managed rather well up to the present, take it all in all." "up to the present he has had all the money he wanted. my lord denied him nought!" "well, 'tis unfortunate, as i said before, but it must be endured. where is dick?" "i know not. you will stay to dinner, tracy?" "thank you. i shall be charmed." "yes, yes--oh, how prodigiously pleasant it is to see you again! soon i shall come to andover. will you let me stay a few days?" "the question is, will richard allow you to stay so long in my contaminating presence?" "richard would never keep me away, tracy!" she replied proudly. "he _could_ not. oh, why is it that i don't love him more? why do i not care for him as much as i care for you even?" "my dear lavinia, like all belmanoirs, you care first for yourself and secondly for the man who masters you. that, alas! richard has not yet succeeded in doing." "but i _do_ love richard. i do, i do, yet--" "exactly. 'yet!' the 'grand passion' has not yet touched you, my dear, and you are quite self-absorbed." "self-absorbed! those are hard words." "but not too hard for the case. you think solely of yourself, your own pleasure, your own character, your own feelings. if you could cast yourself into the background a little, you would be less excitable and considerably less discontented." "how dare you, tracy! pray, what of you? are you so selfless?" "not at all. i am precisely the same. i was merely suggesting that you might be happier an you could depose 'self.'" "you had best do the same yourself!" "my dear lavinia, when i feel the need of greater happiness, i most undoubtedly shall. at present i am quite content." "you are unkind!" she protested. "and you sneer at me." "pray, accept my heartfelt apologies! you shall come to andover if the worthy richard permits." her face cleared as by magic. "oh, tracy! oh, i am so desirous to be gay once more! i cannot even receive now, on account of this mourning! but when i am at andover--oh, we will not worry over anything, and i can be bad-tempered without feeling that someone is being hurt by me! oh, come to dicky at once--at once!" he rose leisurely. "i can imagine that you try richard's patience somewhat," he remarked. "happily, your impetuosity in no way disturbs me. we will go in search of richard." half-way down the great staircase she perceived her husband, and flew to meet him. "richard, i was coming in search of you! tracy has invited me to andover for a week--he purposes to ask several people to stay, and there will be parties--and entertainment! you will let me go? say yes, dicky--say yes, quickly!" carstares bowed to his grace, who stood watching them from the stairs. the bow was returned with exaggerated flourish. carstares looked down at his wife. "so soon, lavinia?" he remonstrated, and indicated her mourning. she shook his hand off impatiently. "oh, dicky, does it matter? what can it signify? i do not ask you to come--" "no," he said half-sadly, half-amusedly. "i notice that, my dear." "no, no! i did not mean to be unkind--you must not think that! you _don't_ think it, do you, dick?" "oh, no," he sighed. "good dicky!" she patted his cheek coaxingly. "then you will allow me to go--ah, but yes, yes, you must listen! you know how dull i am, and how silly--'tis because i need a change, and i _want_ to go to andover. i _want_ to go!" "yes, dear, i know. but my father is not yet dead six weeks, and i cannot think it seemly--" "please, dick, please! please do not say no! 'twill make me so unhappy! oh, you will not be so unkind? you will not forbid me to go?" "i ask you not to, lavinia. if you need a change, i will take you quietly to bath, or where you will. do not pain me by going to andover just now." "bath! bath! what do i want with bath at this time of the year? oh, 'tis kind in you to offer, but i want to go to andover! i want to see all the old friends again. and i want to get away from everything here--'tis all so gloomy--after--after my lord's death!" "dearest, of course you shall go away--but if only you would remember that you are in mourning--" "but 'tis what i wish to forget! oh, dicky, don't, don't, don't be unkind." "very well, dear. if you must go--go." she clapped her hands joyfully. "oh thank you, dicky! and you are not angry with me?" "no, dear, of course not." "ah! now i am happy! 'tis sweet of you, dicky, but confess you are secretly thankful to be rid of me for a week! now are you not?" she spread out her fan in the highest good-humour and coquetted behind it. richard was induced to smile. "i fear i shall miss you too sadly, dear." "oh!" she dropped the fan. "but think how you will look forward to seeing me again, and i you. why, i shall be so thankful to be back after a week away, that i shall be good for months!" his face lightened, and he caught her hands in his. "darling, if i thought you would miss me--" "but of course i shall miss you, dick--oh, _pray_, mind my frock! shall i not miss him, tracy?" richard suddenly remembered his brother-in-law's presence. he turned and went to the foot of the stairs. "so you are determined to wrest my wife from me?" he smiled. tracy descended leisurely, opening his snuff-box. "yes, i require a hostess," he said. "and i have"--he paused--"induced her to honour andover with her presence. shall we have the felicity of seeing you at any time?" "i thank you, no. i am not, you will understand, in the mood for the gaiety for which my poor lavinia craves." the duke bowed slightly, and they all three went out on to the terrace, lavinia laughing and talking as richard had not heard her laugh or talk for days. she was the life and soul of the little dinner-party, flirting prettily with her husband and exerting herself to please him in every way. she had won her point; therefore she was in excellent spirits with all the world, and not even the spilling of some wine on her new silk served to discompose her. chapter vi bath: 29 queen square the autumn and the winter passed smoothly, and april found the carstares installed at bath, whither lady lavinia had teased her husband into going, despite his desire to return to wyncham and john. she herself did not care to be with the child, and was perfectly content that richard should journey occasionally to wyncham to see that all was well with him. on the whole, she had enjoyed the winter, for she had induced richard to open wyncham house, mayfair, the earl's town residence, where she had been able to hold several entirely successful routs, and many select little card-parties. admirers she had a-many, and nothing so pleased her vain little heart as masculine adulation. carstares never entered his home without stumbling against some fresh flame of hers, but as they mostly consisted of what he rudely termed the lap-dog type, he was conscious of no jealous qualms, and patiently submitted to their inundation of his house. he was satisfied that lavinia was happy, and, as he assured himself at times when he was most tried, nothing else signified. the only flaw to lavinia's content was the need of money. not that she was stinted, or ever refused anything that he could in reason give her; but her wants were never reasonable. she would demand a new town chariot, upholstered in pale blue, not because her own was worn or shabby, but because she was tired of its crimson cushions. or she would suddenly take a fancy to some new, and usually fabulously expensive toy, and having acquired it, weary of it in a week. without a murmur, richard gave her lap-dogs (of the real kind), black pages, jewels, and innumerable kickshaws, for which she rewarded him with her brightest smiles and tenderest caresses. but when she required him to refurnish wyncham house in the style of the french court, throwing away all the present queen anne furniture, the tapestries, and the countless old trappings that were one and all so beautiful and so valuable, he put his foot down with a firmness that surprised her. not for any whim of hers was jack's house to be spoiled. neither her coaxing nor her tears had any effect upon richard, and when she reverted to sulks, he scolded her so harshly that she was frightened, and in consequence silenced. for a week she thought and dreamt of nothing but gilded french chairs, and then abruptly, as all else, the fancy left her, and she forgot all about it. her mantua-maker's bills were enormous, and caused richard many a sleepless night, but she was always so charmingly penitent that he could not find it in his heart to be angry; and, after all, he reflected, he would rather have his money squandered on her adornment than on that of her brothers. she was by turns passionate and cold to him: one day enrapturing him by some pretty blandishment, the next snapping peevishly when he spoke to her. at the beginning of the season he dutifully conducted her to routs and _bals masqués_, but soon she began to go always with either andrew or robert, both of whom were in town, and whose casual chaperonage she much preferred to richard's solicitous care. tracy was rarely in london for more than a few days at a time, and the carstares, greatly to richard's relief, saw but little of him. carstares disliked colonel lord robert belmanoir, but the duke he detested, not only for his habitual sneer towards him, but for the influence that he undoubtedly held over lavinia. richard was intensely jealous of this, and could sometimes hardly bring himself to be civil when his grace visited my lady. whether justly or not, he inwardly blamed tracy for all lavinia's crazy whims and periodical fits of ill-temper. it did not take his astute grace long to discover this, and with amused devilry he played upon it, encouraging lavinia in her extravagance, and making a point of calling on her whenever he was in town. carstares never knew when not to expect to find him there; he came and went to and from london with no warning whatsoever. no one ever knew where he was for more than a day at a time, and no one was in the least surprised if he happened to be seen in london when he should, according to all accounts, have been in paris. they merely shrugged their shoulders, and exchanged glances, murmuring: "devil belmanoir!" and wondering what fresh intrigue he was in. so altogether richard was not sorry when my lady grew suddenly sick of town and was seized with a longing for bath. he had secretly hoped that she might return to wyncham, but when she expressed no such wish, he stifled his own longing for home, shut up the london house, and took her and all her baggage to bath, installing her in queen square in one of the most elegantly furnished houses in the place. lady lavinia was at first charmed to be there again; delighted with the house, and transported over the excellencies of the new french milliner she had discovered. but the milliner's bills proved monstrous, and the drawing-room of her house not large enough for the routs she contemplated giving. the air was too relaxing for her, and she was subject to constant attacks of the vapours that were as distressing to her household as they were to herself. the late hours made her head ache as it never ached in london, and the damp gave her a cold. furthermore, the advent of an attractive and exceedingly wealthy little widow caused her many a bitter hour, to the considerable detriment of her good-temper. she was lying on a couch in her white and gilt drawing room one afternoon--alas! the craze for french furniture was o'er-smelling-bottle in hand and a _bona fide_ ache in her head, when the door opened and tracy walked into the room. "good heavens!" she said faintly, and uncorked her salts. it was his grace's first appearance since she had come to bath, and the fact that he had politely declined an invitation that she had sent to him still rankled in her mind. he bowed over the limp hand that she extended, and looked her up and down. "i regret to find you thus indisposed, my dear sister," he said smoothly. "'tis nought. only one of my stupid headaches. i am never well here, and this house is stuffy," she answered fretfully. "you should take the waters," he said, scrutinising, through his eyeglass, the chair to which she had waved him. "it has an unstable appearance, my dear; i believe i prefer the couch." he moved to a smaller sofa and sat down. "pray, how long have you been in bath?" she demanded. "i arrived last tuesday week." lady lavinia started up. "last tuesday week? then you have been here ten days and not visited me until now!" he appeared to be examining the whiteness of his hands through the folds of black lace that drooped over them. "i believe i had other things to do," he said coolly. a book of sermons that she had been trying to peruse slid to the ground as lavinia jerked a cushion into place. "and you come to me when it suits you? how could you be so unkind as to refuse my invitation?" there was a rising, querulous note in her voice which gave warning of anger. "my dear lavinia, if you exhibit your deplorable temper to me, i shall leave you, so have a care. i thought you would understand that your good husband's society, improving though it may be, would be altogether too oppressive for my taste. in fact, i was surprised at your letter." "you might have come for my sake," she answered peevishly, sinking back again. "i suppose you have been dancing attendance on the molesly woman? lud! but i think you men have gone crazed." understanding came to his grace, and he smiled provokingly. "is that what upsets you? i wondered." "no, 'tis not!" she flashed. "and i do not see why you should think so! for my part, i cannot see that she is even tolerable, and the way the men rave about her is disgusting! disgusting! but 'tis always the same when a woman is unattached and wealthy. well! well! why do you not say something? do you find her so lovely?" "to tell the truth, my dear, i have barely set eyes on the lady. i have been otherwise engaged, and i have done with all women, for the time, save one." "so i have heard you say before. do you contemplate marriage? lud! but i pity the girl." she gave a jeering little laugh, but it was evident that she was interested. his grace was not in the least degree ruffled. "i do not contemplate marriage, lavinia, so your sympathies are wasted. i have met a girl--a mere child, for sure--and i will not rest until i have her." "lord! another farmer's chit?" "no, my dear sister, not another farmer's chit. a lady." "god help her! who is she? where does she live?" "she lives in sussex. her name i shall not tell you." her ladyship kicked an offending cushion on to the floor, and snapped at him. "oh, as you please! i shall not die of curiosity!" "ah!" the cynical lips curled annoyingly, and lady lavinia was seized with a mad desire to hurl her smelling-bottle at him. but she knew that it was worse than useless to be angry with tracy, so she yawned ostentatiously, and hoped that she irritated him. if she did, she got no satisfaction from it, for he continued, quite imperturbably: "she is the daintiest piece ever a man saw, and i'll swear there's blood and fire beneath the ice!" "is it possible the girl will have none of your grace?" wondered lavinia in mock amazement, and had the pleasure of seeing him frown. the thin brows met over his arched nose, and the eyes glinted a little, while she caught a glimpse of cruel white teeth closing on a sensual under-lip. she watched his hand clench on his snuff-box, and exulted silently at having roused him. it was a very brief joy, however, for the next moment the frown had disappeared, the hand unclenched, and he was smiling again. "at present she is cold," he admitted, "but i hope that in time she will become more plastic. i think, lavinia, i have some experience with your charming, if capricious sex." "i don't doubt you have. where did you meet this perverse beauty?" "in the pump room." "lud! pray, describe her." "i shall be delighted. she is taller than yourself, and dark. her hair is like a dusky cloud of black, and it ripples off her brow and over her little ears in a most damnably alluring fashion. her eyes are brown, but there are lights in them that are purest amber, and yet they are dark and velvety--" my lady had recourse to the smelling-bottle. "but i perceive i weary you. a man in love, my dear lavinia--" she was up again at that. "in love? you? nonsense! nonsense! nonsense! you do not know what the word means. you are like a--like a fish, with no more of love in you than a fish, and no more heart than a fish, and--" "spare me the rest, i beg. i am very clammy, i make no doubt, but you will at least accord me more brain than a fish?" "oh, you have brain enough!" she raged. "brain for evil! i grant you that!" "it is really very kind of you--" "the passion you feel now is not _love_. it is--it is--" "your pardon, my dear, but at the present moment i am singularly devoid of all strenuous emotions, so your remark is--" "oh, tracy, tracy, i am even quarrelling with you!" she cried wretchedly. "oh, why?--why?" "you are entirely mistaken, my dear. this is but the interchange of compliments. pray, do not let me hinder you in the contribution of your share!" her lip trembled. "go on, tracy, go on." "very well. i had described her eyes, i think?" "very tediously." "i will strive to be brief. her lips are the most kissable that i have ever seen--" "and, as you remarked, you have experience," she murmured. he bowed ironically. "altogether she's as spirited a filly as you could wish for. all she needs is bringing to heel." "does one bring a filly to heel? i rather thought--" "as usual, my dear lavinia, you are right: one does not. one breaks in a filly. i beg leave to thank you for correcting my mixed metaphor." "oh, pray do not mention it." "i will cease to do so. she needs breaking in. it should be amusing to tame her." "should it?" she looked curiously at him. "vastly. and i am persuaded it can be done. i will have her." "but what if she'll none of you?" suddenly the heavy lids were raised. "she will have no choice." lady lavinia shivered and sat up. "la, tracy! will you have no sense of decency?" she cried. "i suppose," she sneered, "you think to kidnap the girl?" "exactly," he nodded. she gasped at the effrontery of it. "heavens, are you mad? kidnap a lady! this is no peasant girl, remember. tracy, tracy, pray do not be foolish! how _can_ you kidnap her?" "that, my dear, is a point which i have not yet decided. but i do not anticipate much trouble." "but goodness gracious me! has the child no protectors? no brothers? no father?" "there is a father," said tracy slowly. "he was here at the beginning of their stay. he does not signify, and, which is important, he is of those that truckle. were _i_ to make myself known to him, i believe i might marry the girl within an hour. but i do not want that. at least--not yet." "good god, tracy! do you think you are living in the dark ages? one cannot do these things now, i tell you! will you not at least remember that you represent our house? 'twill be a pretty thing an there is a scandal!" she broke off hopelessly and watched him flick a remnant of snuff from his cravat. "oh, tracy! 'tis indeed a dangerous game you play. pray consider!" "really, lavinia, you are most entertaining. i trust i am capable of caring for myself and mine own honour." "oh, don't sneer--don't sneer!" she cried. "sometimes i think i quite hate you!" "you would be the more amusing, my dear." she swept the back of her hand across her eyes in a characteristic movement. "how cross i am!" she said, and laughed waveringly. "you must bear with me, tracy. indeed, i am not well." "you should take the waters," he repeated. "oh, i do!--i do! and that reminds me that i must look for your beauty." "she is not like to be there," he answered. "'tis only very seldom that she appears." "what! is she then _religieuse_?" "_religieuse_! why, in heaven's name?" "but not to walk in the rooms--!" "she is staying here with her aunt, who has been ill. they do not mix much in society." "how very dreadful! yet she used to walk in the rooms, for you met her there?" "yes," he admitted coolly. "'tis for that reason that she now avoids them." "oh, tracy, the poor child!" exclaimed his sister in a sudden fit of pity. "how can you persecute her, if she dislikes you?" "she does not." "not! then--" "rather, she fears me. but she is intrigued, for all that. i persecute her, as you call it, for her own (and my) ultimate good. but they quit bath in a few days, and then, _nous verrons_!" he rose. "what of honest dick?" "don't call him by that odious name! i will not have it!" "odious, my dear? odious? you would have reason an i called him _dis_honest dick." "don't! don't!" she cried, covering her ears. his grace laughed softly. "oh, lavinia, you must get the better of these megrims of yours, for there is nought that sickens a man sooner, believe me." "oh, go away!--go away!" she implored. "you tease me and tease me until i cannot bear it, and indeed i do not _mean_ to be shrewish! please go!" "i am on the point of doing so, my dear. i trust you will have in a measure recovered when next i see you. pray bear my respects to hon--to the honourable richard." she stretched out her hand. "come again soon!" she begged. "i shall be better to-morrow! 'tis only to-day that my head aches till i could shriek with the worry and the pain of it! come again!" "unfortunately i anticipate leaving bath within a day or two. but nothing would have given me greater pleasure than to comply with your wishes." he kissed her hand punctiliously, and took his leave. at the door he paused, and looked back mockingly. "by the way--her name is--diana." he bowed again and swept out, as lavinia buried her face in the cushions and burst into tears. it was thus that richard found her, twenty minutes later, and his concern was so great that it in part restored her spirits, and she spent a quiet and, for him, blissful evening, playing at piquet. in the middle of a game she suddenly flung down her hand and caught at his wrist. "dicky, dicky--i will go home!" "go home? what do you mean? not--" "yes, yes--wyncham! why not?" "my dear, do you mean it?" his voice quivered with joyful surprise, and the cards slipped from his hands. "yes, i mean it! but take me quickly before i change my mind! i can sleep at wyncham, and here i lie awake all night, and my head aches. take me home and i will try to be a better wife! oh, dicky, have i been tiresome and exacting? i did not mean to be! why do you let me?" she came quickly round the table and knelt at his side, giving no heed to the crumpling of her billowing silks. "i have been a wicked, selfish woman!" she said vehemently. "but indeed i will be better. you must not _let_ me be bad--you _must_ not, i tell you!" he flung his arm about her plump shoulders and drew her tightly to him. "when i get you home at wyncham, i promise you i will finely hector you, sweetheart," he said, laughing to conceal his deeper feelings. "i shall make you into a capital housewife!" "and i will learn to make butter," she nodded. "then i must wear a dimity gown with a muslin apron and cap. oh, yes, yes-a dimity gown!" she sprang up and danced to the middle of the room. "shall i not be charming, richard?" "very charming, lavinia!" "of course! oh, we will go home at once--at once! but first i must procure some new gowns from marguerite!" "to make butter in, dear?" he protested. she was not attending. "a dimity gown--or shall it be of tiffany with a quilted petticoat? or both?" she chanted. "dicky, i shall set a fashion in country toilettes!" dicky sighed. chapter vii introducing sundry new characters not twenty minutes' walk from lady lavinia's house in queen square resided a certain madam thompson--a widow--who had lived in bath for nearly fifteen years. with her was staying miss elizabeth beauleigh and her niece, diana. madam thompson had been at a seminary with miss elizabeth when both were girls, and they had ever afterwards kept up their friendship, occasionally visiting one another, but more often contenting themselves with the writing of lengthy epistles, full of unimportant scraps of news and much gossip, amusing only on miss elizabeth's side, and on the widow's uninteresting and rambling. it was a great joy to madam thompson when she received a letter from miss beauleigh begging that she and her niece might be allowed to pay a visit to her house in bath, and to stay at least three weeks. the good lady was delighted at having her standing invitation at last accepted, and straightway wrote back a glad assent. she prepared her very best bedchamber for miss beauleigh, who, she understood, was coming to bath principally for a change of air and scene after a long and rather trying illness. in due course the two ladies arrived, the elder very small and thin, and birdlike in her movements; the younger moderately tall, and graceful as a willow tree, with great candid brown eyes that looked fearlessly out on to the world, and a tragic mouth that belied a usually cheerful disposition, and hinted at a tendency to look on the gloomy side of life. madam thompson, whose first meeting with diana this was, remarked on the sad mouth to miss elizabeth, or betty as she was more often called, as they sat over the fire on the first night, diana herself having retired to her room. miss betty shook her head darkly and prophesied that her precious di would one day love some man as no man in _her_ opinion deserved to be loved! "and she'll have love badly," she said, clicking her knitting-needles energetically. "_i_ know these temperamental children!" "she looks so melancholy," ventured the widow. "well there you are wrong!" replied miss betty. "'tis the sunniest-tempered child, and the sweetest-natured in the whole wide world, bless her! but i don't deny that she can be miserable. far from it. why, i've known her weep her pretty eyes out over a dead puppy even! but usually she is gay enough." "i fear this house will be dull and stupid for her," said madam thompson regretfully. "if only my dear son george were at home to entertain her--" "my love, pray do not put yourself out! i assure you diana will not at all object to a little quiet after the life she has been leading in town this winter with her friend's family." whatever diana thought of the quiet, she at least made no complaint, and adapted herself to her surroundings quite contentedly. in the morning they would all walk as far as the assembly rooms, and miss betty would drink the waters in the old pump room, pacing sedately up and down with her friend on one side and her niece on the other. madam thompson had very few acquaintances in bath, and the people she did know were all of her own age and habits, rarely venturing as far as the crowded fashionable quarter; so diana had to be content with the society of the two old ladies, who gossiped happily enough together, but whose conversation she could not but find singularly uninteresting. she watched the _monde_ with concealed wistfulness, seeing beau nash strut about among the ladies, bowing with his extreme gallantry, always impeccably garbed, and in spite of his rapidly increasing age and bulk still absolute monarch of bath. she saw fine painted madams in enormous hoops, and with their hair so extravagantly curled and powdered that it appeared quite grotesque, mincing along with their various cavaliers; elderly beaux with coats padded to hid their shrunken shoulders, and paint to fill the wrinkles on their faces; young rakes; stout dowagers with their demure daughters; old ladies who had come to bath for their health's sake; titled folk of fashion, and plain gentry from the country--all parading before her eyes. one or two young bucks tried to ogle her, and received such indignant glances from those clear eyes, that they never dared annoy her again, but for the most part no one paid any heed to the unknown and plainly clad girl. then came his grace of andover upon the stage. he drew diana's attention from the first moment that he entered the pump room--a black moth amongst the gaily-hued butterflies. he had swept a comprehensive glance round the scene and at once perceived diana. somehow, exactly how she could never afterwards remember, he had introduced himself to her aunt and won that lady's good will by his smoothness of manner and polished air. madam thompson, who, left to herself, never visited the assembly rooms, could not be expected to recognise devil belmanoir in the simple mr. everard who presented himself. as he had told his sister, diana was cold. there was something about his grace that repelled her, even while his mesmeric personality fascinated. he was right when he said that she feared him; she was nervous, and the element of fear gave birth to curiosity. she was intrigued, and began to look forward to his daily appearance in the pump room with mingled excitement and apprehension. she liked his flattering attention, and his grand air. often she would watch him stroll across the floor, bowing to right and left with that touch of insolence that characterised him, and rejoiced in the knowledge that he was coming straight to her, and that the painted beauties who so palpably ogled and invited him to their sides could not alter his course. she felt her power with a thrill of delight, and smiled upon mr. everard, giving him her hand to kiss, and graciously permitting him to sit with her beside her aunt. he would point out all the celebrities of town and bath for her edification, recalling carefully chosen and still more carefully censured anecdotes of each one. she discovered that mr. everard was an entertaining and harmless enough companion, and even expanded a little, allowing him a glimpse of her whimsical nature with its laughter and its hint of tears. his grace of andover saw enough to guess at the unsounded depths in her soul, and he became lover-like. diana recoiled instinctively, throwing up a barrier of reserve between them. it was not what he said that alarmed her, but it was the way in which he said it, and the vague something in the purring, faintly sinister voice that she could not quite define, that made her heart beat unpleasantly fast, and the blood rush to her temples. she began first to dread the morning promenade, and then to avoid it. one day she had a headache; the next her foot was sore; another time she wanted to work at her fancy stitchery, until her aunt, who knew how she disliked her needle, and how singularly free from headaches and all petty ailments she was wont to be, openly taxed her with no longer wishing to walk abroad. they were in the girl's bedroom at the time, diana seated before her dressing-table, brushing out her hair for the night. when her aunt put the abrupt question she hesitated, caught a long strand in her comb, and pretended to be absorbed in its disentanglement. the clouds of rippling hair half hid her face, but miss betty observed how her fingers trembled, and repeated her question. then came the confession. mr. everard was unbearable; his attentions were odious; his continued presence revolting to mistress di. she was afraid of him, afraid of his dreadful green eyes and of his soft voice. she wished they had never come to bath, and still more that they had not met him. he looked at her as if--as if--oh, in short, he was hateful! miss betty was horrified. "you cannot mean it! dear, dear, dear! here was i thinking what a pleasant gentleman he was, and all the time he was persecuting my poor di, the wretch! _i_ know the type, my love, and i feel inclined to give him a good piece of my mind!" "oh, no--no!" implored diana. "indeed, you must do no such thing, auntie! he has said nought that i could possibly be offended at--'tis but his _manner_, and the--and the way he looked at me. indeed, indeed, you must not!" "tut, child! of course i shall say nought. but it makes me so monstrous angry to think of my poor lamb being tormented by such as he that i declare i could tear his eyes out! yes, my dear, i could! thank goodness we are leaving bath next week!" "yes," sighed diana. "i cannot help being glad, though madam thompson is very amiable! 'tis so very different when there is no man with one!" "you are quite right, my love. we should have insisted on your father's staying with us instead of allowing him to fly back to his fusty, musty old volumes. i shall not be so foolish another time, i can assure you. but we need not go to the assembly rooms again." "i need not go," corrected diana gently. "of course you and madam thompson will continue to." "to tell the truth, my love," confessed miss betty, "i shall not be sorry for an excuse to stay away. 'tis doubtless most ill-natured of me, but i cannot but think that hester has altered sadly since last i saw her. she is always talking of sermons and good works!" diana twisted her luxuriant hair into a long plait, and gave a gurgling little laugh. "oh, auntie, is it not depressing? i wondered how you could tolerate it! she is so vastly solemn, poor dear thing!" "well," said miss betty charitably, "she has seen trouble, has hester thompson, and i have my doubts about this george of hers. a worthless young man, i fear, from all accounts. but, unkind though it may be, i shall be glad to find myself at home again, and that's the truth!" she rose and picked up her candle. "in fact, i find bath not half so amusing as i was told 'twould be." diana walked with her to the door. "'tis not amusing at all when one has no friends; but last year, when my cousins were with us and papa took a house for the season on the north parade, 'twas most enjoyable. i wish you had been there, instead of with that disagreeable aunt jennifer!" she kissed her relative most affectionately and lighted her across the landing to her room. then she returned to her room and shut the door, giving a tired little yawn. it was at about that moment that his grace of andover was ushered into the already crowded card-room of my lord avon's house in catharine place, and was greeted with ribald cries of "oho, belmanoir!", and "where's the lady, devil?" he walked coolly forward into the full light of a great pendant chandelier, standing directly beneath it, the diamond order on his breast burning and winking like a living thing. the diamonds in his cravat and on his fingers glittered every time he moved, until he seemed to be carelessly powdered with iridescent gems. as usual, he was clad in black, but it would have been difficult to find any other dress in the room more sumptuous or more magnificent than his sable satin with its heavy silver lacing, and shimmering waistcoat. silver lace adorned his throat and fell in deep ruffles over his hands, and in defiance of fashion, which decreed that black alone should be worn to tie the hair, he displayed long silver ribands, very striking against his unpowdered head. he raised his quizzing glass and looked round the room with an air of surprised hauteur. lord avon, leaning back in his chair at one of the tables, shook a reproving finger at him. "belmanoir, belmanoir, we have seen her and we protest she is too charming for you!" "in truth, we think we should be allowed a share in the lady'th thmileth," lisped one from behind him, and his grace turned to face dainty, effeminate little viscount fotheringham, who stood at his elbow, resplendent in salmon-pink satin and primrose velvet, with skirts so full and stiffly whaleboned that they stood out from his person, and heels so high that instead of walking he could only mince. tracy made a low leg. "surely shall you have a share in her smiles an she wills it so," he purred, and a general laugh went up which caused the fop to flush to the ears, as he speedily effaced himself. he had been one of those who had tried to accost diana, and gossip-loving will stapely, with him at the time, had related the story of his discomfiture to at least half-a-dozen men, who immediately told it to others, vastly amused at the pertinacious viscount's rebuff. "what was it selwyn said?" drawled sir gregory markham, shuffling cards at lord avon's table. davenant looked across at him inquiringly. "george? of belmanoir? when?" "oh, at white's one night--i forget--jack cholmondely was there--he would know; and horry walpole. 'twas of devil and his light o' loves--quite apt, on the whole." cholmondely looked up. "did i hear my name?" "ay. what was it george said of belmanoir at white's the night gilly made that absurd bet with ffolliott?" "when gilly--oh, yes, i remember. 'twas but an old hexameter tag, playing on his name: '_est bellum bellis bellum bellare puellis_.' he seemed to think it a fitting motto for a ducal house." there was another general laugh at this. markham broke in on it: "who is she, tracy?" his grace turned. "who is who?" he asked languidly. lord avon burst out laughing. "oh, come now, belmanoir, that won't do! it really will not! who is she, indeed!" "ay, belmanoir, who is the black-haired beauty, and where did you find her?" cried tom wilding, pressing forward with a glass in one hand and a bottle of port in the other. "i thought you were captivated by cynthia evans?" tracy looked bewildered for the moment, and then a light dawned on him. "evans! ah, yes! the saucy widow who lived in kensington, was it not? i remember." "he had forgotten!" cried avon, and went off into another of the noisy laughs that had more than once caused mr. nash to shudder and to close his august eyes. "you'll be the death of me, devil! gad! but you will!" "oh, i trust not. thank you, wilding." he accepted the glass that tom offered, and sipped delicately. "but you've not answered!" reminded fortescue from another table. he dealt the cards round expertly. "is it hands off, perhaps?" "certainly," replied his grace. "it generally is, frank, as you know." "to my cost!" was the laughing rejoinder, and fortescue rubbed his sword arm as if in memory of some hurt. "you pinked me finely, tracy!" "clumsily, frank, clumsily. it might have been quicker done." the viscount, who had been a second at the meeting, tittered amiably. "neatetht thing i ever thaw, 'pon my honour. all over in leth than a minute, avon! give you my word!" "never knew you had fought devil, frank? what possessed you?" "i was more mad than usual, i suppose," replied fortescue in his low, rather dreamy voice, "and i interfered between tracy and his french singer. he objected most politely, and we fought it out in hyde park." "gad, yes!" exclaimed his partner, lord falmouth. "why, i was devil's second! but it was ages ago!" "two years," nodded fortescue, "but i have not forgotten, you see!" "lord, i had! and 'twas the funniest fight i ever saw, with you as furious as could be and devil cool as a cucumber. you were never much of a swordsman, frank, but that morning you thrust so wildly that stap me if i didn't think devil would run you through. 'stead of that he pinks you neatly through the sword-arm, and damme if you didn't burst out laughing fit to split! and then we all walked off to breakfast with you, frank, as jolly as sandboys. heavens, yes. that was a fight!" "it was amusing," admitted tracy at fortescue's elbow. "don't play, frank." fortescue flung his cards face downwards on the table. "curse you, tracy, you've brought bad luck!" he said entirely without rancour. "i had quite tolerable hands before you came." "belmanoir, i will thtake my chestnut mare 'gaintht your new grey," lisped the viscount, coming up to the table, dice-box in hand. "stap me, but that is too bad!" cried wilding. "don't take him, devil! have you seen the brute?" the four players had finished their card-playing and were quite ready for the dice. "trust in your luck, belmanoir, and take him!" advised pritchard, who loved hazarding other men's possessions, but kept a tight hold on his own. "ay, take him!" echoed falmouth. "don't," said fortescue. "of course i shall take him," answered his grace tranquilly. "my grey against your chestnut and the best of three. will you throw?" the viscount rattled his box with a flourish. two threes and a one turned up. with a hand on fortescue's shoulder, and one foot on the rung of his chair, tracy leaned forward and cast his own dice on to the table. he had beaten the viscount's throw by five. the next toss fotheringham won, but the last fell to his grace. "damnathion!" said the viscount cheerfully. "will you thtake your grey againtht my terror?" "thunder and turf, fotheringham! you'll lose him!" cried nettlefold warningly. "don't stake the terror!" "nonthenth! do you take me, belmanoir?" "certainly," said the duke, and threw. "oh, an you are in a gaming mood, i will play you for the right to try my hand with the dark beauty!" called markham across the room. "against what?" asked fortescue. "oh, what he wills!" the viscount had cast and lost, and his grace won the second throw. "it appears my luck is in," he remarked. "i will stake my beauty against your estates, markham." sir gregory shook his head, laughing. "no, no! keep the lady!" "i intend to, my dear fellow. she is not your style. i begin to wonder whether she altogether suits my palate." he drew out his snuff-box and offered it to his host, and the other men finding that he was proof against their railing, allowed the subject to drop. in the course of the evening his grace won three thousand guineas--two at ombre and one at dice--lost his coveted grey hunter and won him back again from wilding, to whom he had fallen. he came away at three o'clock in company with fortescue, both perfectly cool-headed, although his grace, for his part, had imbibed a considerable quantity of burgundy, and more punch than any ordinary man could take without afterwards feeling very much the worse for wear. as my lord avon's door closed behind them, tracy turned to his friend: "shall we walk, frank?" "since our ways lie together, yes," replied fortescue, linking his arm in the duke's. "down brock street and across the circus is our quickest way." they strolled down the road for a few moments in silence, passing a linkman on the way. fortescue bade him a cheery good-night, which was answered in a very beery voice, but the duke said nothing. frank looked into his dark-browed face thoughtfully. "you've had the luck, to-night, tracy." "moderately. i hoped entirely to repair last week's losses." "you are in debt, i suppose?" "i believe so." "to what extent, tracy?" "my dear fellow, i neither have, nor wish to have, the vaguest notion. pray do not treat me to a sermon!" "i shall not. i've said all i have to say on the subject." "many times." "yes--many times. and it has had no more effect upon you than if i had not spoken." "less." "i daresay. i wish it were not so, for there's good in you somewhere, tracy." "by what strange process of reasoning do you arrive at that?" "well," said fortescue laughing, "there's nearly always some good in the very worst of men. i count on that--and your kindness to me." "i should be interested to know when i have been kind to you--beyond the time when i was compelled to teach you to leave me and my affairs alone." "i was not referring to that occasion," was the dry answer. "i had not seen your act in that light. i meant well over the episode." "you could not damn yourself more effectually than by saying that," said his grace calmly. "but we wander from the point. when have i done you an act of kindness?" "you know very well. when you extricated me from that cursed sponging-house." "i remember now. yes, that _was_ good of me. i wonder why i did it?" "'tis what i want to know." "i suppose i must have had some sort of an affection for you. i would certainly never have done such a thing for anyone else." "not even for your own brother!" said frank sharply. they had crossed the circus and were walking down gay street now. "least of all for them," came the placid response. "you are thinking of andrew's tragic act? most entertaining, was it not?" "you evidently found it so." "i did. i wanted to prolong the sensation, but my esteemed brother-in-law came to the young fool's rescue." "would you have assisted him?" "in the end i fear i should have had to." "i believe there must be a kink in your brain!" cried fortescue. "i cannot else account for your extraordinary conduct!" "we belmanoirs are all half-mad," replied tracy sweetly, "but i think that in my case it is merely concentrated evil." "i will not believe it! you have shown that you can behave differently! you do not try to strip me of all i possess--why all those unfortunate youths you play with?" "you see, you possess so little," the duke excused himself. "neither do you sneer at me in your loathsome fashion. why?" "because i have hardly ever any desire to. i like you." "tare an' ouns! you must like someone else in the world besides me?" "i can think of no one. and i do not exactly worship the ground _you_ tread on. the contemplation of my brothers appals me. i have loved various women, and shall no doubt love many more--" "no, tracy," interposed fortescue, "you have never loved a woman in your life. 'tis that that might save you. i do not allude to the lustful passion you indulge in, but real love. for god's sake belmanoir, live clean!" "pray do not distress yourself, frank. i am not worth it." "i choose to think that you are. i cannot but feel that if you had been loved as a boy--your mother--" "did you ever see my mother?" inquired his grace lazily. "no--but--" "have you ever seen my sister?" "er--yes--" "in a rage?" "really, i--" "because, if you have, you have seen my mother. only she was ten times more violent. in fact, we were a pleasant party when we were all at home." "i understand." "good gad! i believe you are sorry for me?" cried tracy scornfully. "i am. is it a presumption on my part?" "my dear frank, when i am sorry for myself you may be sorry too. until then--" "when that day comes i shall no longer pity you." "very deep, frank! you think i shall be on the road to recovery? a pretty conceit. luckily, the happy moment has not yet come--and i do not think it is like to. we appear to have arrived." they were standing outside one of the tall houses where fortescue lodged. he turned and grasped his friend's shoulders. "tracy, give up this mad life you lead! give up the women and the drink, and the excessive gaming; for one day, believe me, you will overstep yourself and be ruined!" the duke disengaged himself. "i very much object to being man-handled in the street," he complained. "i suppose you still _mean_ well. you should strive to conquer the tendency." "i wonder if you know how insolent is your tone, belmanoir?" asked fortescue steadily. "naturally. i should not have attained such perfection in the art else. but pray accept my thanks for your good advice. you will forgive me an i do not avail myself of it, i am sure. i prefer the crooked path." "evidently," sighed the other. "if you will not try the straight and narrow way, i can only hope that you will fall very deeply and very honestly in love; and that the lady will save you from yourself." "i will inform you of it when it comes to pass," promised his grace. "and now: good-night!" "good-night!" frank returned the low bow with a curt nod. "i shall see you to-morrow--that is, this morning--at the baths?" "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof," was the smiling rejoinder. "sleep soundly, frank!" he waved an ironic farewell and crossed the road to his own lodgings, which stood almost directly opposite. "and i suppose _you_ will sleep as soundly as if you had not a stain on your conscience--and had not tried your uttermost to alienate the regard of the only friend you possess," remarked frank bitterly to the darkness. "damn you, tracy, for the villain you are!" he walked up the steps to his own front door and turned the key in the lock. he looked over his shoulder as a door slammed across the street. "poor devil!" he said. "oh, you poor devil!" chapter viii the biter bit with john carstares the winter had passed quite uneventfully. he continued his highway robbery, but he made two bad blunders--not from the point of view of a thief, but from that of the gentleman in him. the first was when he stopped an opulent-looking chariot, which he found to contain two ladies, their maid and their jewels, and the second when the occupant of a large travelling coach chanced to be an old gentleman who possessed far greater courage than physical strength. on the first occasion my lord's dismay had been ludicrous, and he had hastily retired after tendering a naive apology. the old gentleman in the second episode had defied him so gallantly that he had impulsively offered him the butt end of one of his pistols. the old man was so surprised that he allowed the weapon to fall to the ground, where it exploded quite harmlessly, sending up a cloud of dust and smoke. carstares then begged his pardon most humbly, assisted him back into his coach, and rode off before the astonished mr. dunbar had time to collect his wits. the robbing was not carried out in a very scientific manner, for, as has been seen, carstares could not bring himself to terrorise women or old men, and there only remained the young and the middle-aged gentlemen, one of whom jack offered to fight for the possession of his jewels. his challenge was promptly accepted by the man, who happened to possess a strong sense of humour, and probably saw a chance of saving his belongings in the offer. he had been speedily worsted, but carstares was so pleased with a particularly neat thrust which he had executed, that he forwent half the booty, and the pair of them divided the contents of the jewel-box by the roadside, the sporting gentleman keeping his most valued belongings and giving jack the surplus. they parted on the very best of terms, and all carstares got out of the episode was a little sword practice and a few trinkets. when day came he was patrolling the west side of sussex, beyond midhurst, not because he thought it a profitable part, but because he knew and loved the country. one late afternoon towards the end of the month he rode gaily into one of the small villages that nestle amongst the downs, and made his way down the quaint main street to the george inn, where he drew rein and dismounted. at his call an aged ostler hobbled out of a side door, chewing an inevitable straw, and after eyeing the newcomer and his steed for an appreciable length of time, evidently decided that they were worthy of his attention, for he came forward, remarking that it had been a pleasant day. carstares agreed with him, and volunteered the information that it would be another fine day to-morrow, if the sunset were to be trusted. to this the ostler replied that he, for one, never trusted to no red sunsets, and added darkly that there warn't nothing so deceitful to his manner o' thinking. he'd known it be such a red sunset as never was, and yet be a-pouring with rain all next day.... should he take the mare? carstares shook his head. "no, i thank you. i remain here but a few moments. i doubt she's thirsty though--eh, jenny?" "water, sir?" "for her, yes. for myself i fancy a tankard of your home-brewed ale. stand, jenny!" he turned away and walked up the steps to the inn door. "be you a-going to leave her there, sir--a-standing all by herself?" inquired the man, surprised. "why, yes! she's docile enough." "well! seems to me a risky thing to leave a hoss--and a skittish hoss at that--a-standing loose in the road. ye won't be tying her to a post, master?" carstares leaned his arms on the balustrade and looked down at them. "i will not. she'd be very hurt at such treatment, wouldn't you, lass?" jenny tossed her head playfully, as if in agreement, and the ostler scratched his head, looking from her to my lord: "a'most seems as if she understands what you be a-saying to her, sir!" "of course she understands! don't i tell you 'tis a clever little lady? if i call her now she'll come up these steps to me, and not all the ostlers in christendom could stop her." "don't'ee go for to do it, sir!" urged the old man, backing. "she must be uncommon fond o' ye?" "she'd be a deal fonder of you if you'd fetch her a drink," hinted jack broadly. "ay, sir! i be a-going this werry instant!" and with many an anxious glance over his shoulder at the perfectly quiet mare, he disappeared through an open doorway into the yard. when carstares, tankard of ale in hand, emerged from the inn and sat himself down on one of the benches that stood against the wall, the mare was drinking thirstily from a bucket which the ancient one held for her. "'tis a wunnerful fine mare, sir," he remarked at length, after a careful inspection of her points. carstares nodded pleasantly, and surveyed jenny through half-shut eyes. "i think so every time i look at her," he said. "i should think she could get a bit of a pace on her, sir? mebbe ye've tried her racing?" "no, she wasn't brought up to that. but she's fast enough." "ay, sir. no vices?" "lord, no!" "don't kick neither?" "not with me." "ah! they allus knows who'll stand it and who won't." jack drained his tankard, and setting it down on the bench beside him, rose to his feet. "she'd not dream of kicking a friend. jenny!" the ostler watched her pick her way towards her master, coquetting with her head, and sidling round him in the most playful manner possible. a slow smile dawned on the man's face. "ah, it be a purty sight to watch her--so it be!" he said, and received a guinea from jack, who never tired of listening to praise of his beloved jenny. carstares remounted, nodded farewell to the ostler and rode leisurely on down the street, soon branching off to the right into a typical sussex lane, where he trotted between uneven hedges, sweet with blossom and with may, and placid fields rolling away on either side, upwards until they merged into the undulating hills, barely discernible in the gloom, that are the downs. it was a wonderfully calm evening, with only a gentle west wind blowing, and the moon already shining faintly in the dark sky. there was nothing beyond the sound of the mare's hoofs to break the beautiful stillness of it all. he rode for some way without meeting a soul, and when at the end of an hour someone did chance along the road it was only a labourer returning home to his supper after a long day in the fields. john bade him a cheery good evening and watched him pass on down the road humming. after that he met no one. he rode easily along for miles, into the fast-gathering darkness. he was frowning as he rode, thinking. curiously enough, it was on his penniless days in france that his mind dwelt this evening. he had resolutely thrust that dark time behind him, determined to forget it, but there were still days when, try as he might, he could not prevent his thoughts flying back to it. with clenched teeth he recalled the days when he, the son of an earl, had taught fencing in paris for a living.... suddenly he laughed harshly, and at the unusual sound the mare pricked up her ears and sidled uneasily across the road. for once no notice was taken of her, and she quickened her pace with a flighty toss of her head.... he thought how he, the extravagant john, had pinched and scraped and saved rather than go under; how he had lived in one of the poorer _quartiers_ of the city, alone, without friends--nameless. then, cynically now, he reviewed the time when he had taken to drinking, heavily and systematically, and had succeeded in pulling himself up at the very brink of the pit he saw yawning before him. next the news of his mother's death.... john passed over that quickly. even now the thought of it had the power of rousing in him all the old misery and impotent resentment. his mind sped on to his italian days. on his savings he had travelled to florence, and from there he went gradually south, picking up all the latest arts and subtleties of fence on the way. the change of scene and of people did much to restore his spirits. his devil-may-care ways peeped out again; he started to gamble on the little money he had left. for once fortune proved kind; he doubled and trebled and quadrupled the contents of his purse. then it was that he met jim salter, whom he engaged as his servant. this was the first friend since he had left england. together they travelled about europe, john gambling his way, jim keeping a relentless hand on the exchequer. it was entirely owing to his watchfulness and care that john was not ruined, for his luck did not always hold good, and there were days when he lost with distressing steadiness. but jim guarded the winnings jealously, and there was always something to fall back on. at last the longing for england and english people grew so acute that john made up his mind to return. but he found that things in england were very different from what they had been abroad. here he was made to feel acutely that he was outcast. it was impossible to live in town under an assumed name, as he would like to have done, for too many people knew jack carstares, and would remember him. he saw that he must either live secluded, or--and the idea of becoming a highwayman occurred to him. a hermit's existence he knew to be totally unsuited to a man of his temperament, but the free, adventurous spirit of the road appealed to him. the finding of his mare--j. the third, as he laughingly dubbed her--decided the point; he forthwith took on himself the role of quixotic highwayman, roaming his beloved south country, happier than he had been since he first left england; bit by bit regaining his youth and spirits, which last, not all the trouble he had been through had succeeded in extinguishing.... clip-clap, clip-clop.... with a jerk he came back to earth and reined-in his mare, the better to listen. along the road came the unmistakable sound of horses' hoofs, and the scrunch-scrunch of swiftly-revolving wheels on the sandy surface. by now the moon was right out, but owing to the fact that she was playing at hide-and-seek in and out of the clouds, it was fairly dark. nevertheless, jack fastened his mask over his face with quick, deft fingers, and pulled his hat well over his eyes. his ears told him that the vehicle, whatever it was, was coming towards him, so he drew into the side of the road, and taking a pistol from its holster, sat waiting, his eyes on the bend in the road. nearer and nearer came the horses, until the leader swung round the corner. carstares saw that it was an ordinary travelling chariot, and levelled his pistol. "halt, or i fire!" he had to repeat the command before it was heard, and to ride out from the shadow of the hedge. the chariot drew up and the coachman leaned over the side to see who it was bidding them to stop in so peremptory a manner. "what d'ye want? who are ye? is there aught amiss?" he cried testily, and found himself staring at a long-nosed pistol. "throw down your arms!" "i ain't got none, blast ye!" "on your honour?" jack dismounted. "ay! wish i had, and i'd see ye damned afore i'd throw 'em down!" at this moment the door of the coach opened and a gentleman leapt lightly down on to the road. he was big and loose-limbed as far as carstares could see, and carried himself with an easy grace. my lord presented his pistol. "stand!" he ordered gruffly. the moon peeped coyly out from behind a cloud and shed her light upon the little group as if to see what all the fuss was about. the big man's face was in the shadow, but jack's pistol was not. into its muzzle the gentleman gazed, one hand deep in the pocket of his heavy cloak, the other holding a small pistol. "me very dear friend," he said in a rich brogue, "perhaps ye are not aware that that same pistol ye are pointing at me is unloaded? don't move; i have ye covered!" jack's arm fell to his side, and the pistol he held clattered to the ground. but it was not surprise at jim's defection that caused him that violent start. it was something far more overwhelming. for the voice that proceeded from the tall gentleman belonged to one whom, six years ago, he had counted, next to richard, his greatest friend on earth. the man moved a little, and the moonlight shone full on his face, clearly outlining the large nose and good-humoured mouth, and above, the sleepy grey eyes. miles! miles o'hara! for once jack could find nothing amusing in the situation. it was too inconceivably hideous that he should meet his friend in this guise, and, further, be unable to reveal himself. a great longing to tear off his mask and to grasp miles' hand assailed him. with an effort he choked it down and listened to what o'hara was saying: "if ye will be so kind as to give me your word of honour ye'll not be afther trying to escape, i should be greatly obliged. but i tell ye first that if ye attempt to move, i shall shoot." jack made a hopeless gesture with his hand. he felt dazed. the whole thing was ridiculous; how miles would laugh afterwards. he went cold. there would be no "afterwards".... miles would never know.... he would be given over to the authorities, and miles would never know that he had helped jack carstares to the scaffold.... perhaps, too, he would not mind so very much, now that he, jack, was so disgraced. one could never tell; even if he risked everything now, and told his true identity, miles might turn away from him in disgust; miles, who could never stoop to a dishonourable act. carstares felt that he would bear anything sooner than face this man's scorn.... "never tell me 'tis a dumb man ye are, for i heard ye shout meself! do ye give me your word of honour, or must i have ye bound?" carstares pulled himself together and set his teeth as he faced the inevitable. escape was impossible; miles would shoot, he felt sure, and then his disguise would be torn away and his friend would see that jack carstares was nothing but a common highwayman. whatever happened, that must not be, for the sake of the name and richard. so he quietly held out his hands. "ay, i give my word, but ye can bind me if ye choose." it was his highwayman voice: raucous, and totally unlike his own. but o'hara's eyes were fixed on the slender white hands held out to him. in his usual haphazard fashion, jack had quite forgotten to grime his hands. they were shapely and white, and carefully manicured. miles took either wrist in his large hands and turned them palm upwards in the moonlight. "singularly white hands ye have, for one in your profession," he drawled, and tightened his hold as jack tried to draw them away. "no, ye do not! now be so good as to step within, me friend." jack held back an instant. "my mare?" he asked, and o'hara noted the anxiety in his voice. "ye need not be after worrying about her," he said. "george!" the footman sprang forward. "yessir?" "ye see that mare? i want ye to ride her home. can ye do it?" "yessir!" "i doubt it," murmured jack. so did jenny. she refused point blank to allow this stranger to mount her. her master had left her in one spot, and there she would stand until he chose to bid her move. in vain did the groom coax and coerce. she ran round him and seemed a transformed creature. she laid her ears flat and gnashed at the bit, ready to lash out furiously at the first opportunity. jack watched the man's futile struggles with the ghost of a smile about his lips. "jenny!" he said quietly, and o'hara looked round at him sharply, frowning. unconsciously, he had spoken naturally, and the voice was faintly familiar. jenny twitched the bridle from the perspiring groom and minced up to the prisoner. "would ye allow me to have a hand free--sir?" he asked. "mebbe i can manage her." without a word miles released him, and he caught the bridle, murmuring something unintelligible to the now quiet animal. o'hara watched the beautiful hand stroke her muzzle reassuringly, and frowned again. no ordinary highwayman this. "mount her now, will 'ee?" jack flung at the groom, and kept a warning hand on the rein as the man obeyed. with a final pat he turned away. "she'll do now, sir." o'hara nodded. "ye've trained her well. get in, please." jack obeyed, and in a minute or two o'hara jumped in after him, and the coach began to move forward. for a while there was silence, carstares keeping himself well under control. it was almost unbearable to think that after this brief drive he would never set eyes on his friend again, and he wanted so badly to turn and grasp that strong hand.... miles turned in his seat and tried to see the masked face in the darkness. "ye are a gentleman?" he asked, going straight to the point. jack was prepared for this. "me, sir? lor' no, sir!" "i do not believe ye. don't be forgettin' i've seen your hands!" "hands, sir?" in innocent bewilderment. "sure, ye don't think i'd be believing ye an ordinary rogue, with hands like that?" "i don't rightly understand ye, sir?" "bejabers then, ye'll be understanding me tomorrow!" "to-morrow, sir?" "certainly. ye may as well tell me now as then. i'm not such a daft fool as i look, and i know a gentleman when i see one, even an he does growl at me as you do!" he chuckled. "and i'd an odd feeling i knew ye when ye spoke to the mare. i'd be loth to send a friend to the gallows." how well jack knew that soft, persuasive voice. his hands clenched as he forced himself to answer: "i don't think i've ever seen ye afore, sir." "maybe ye have not. we shall see to-morrow." "what do ye mean by to-morrow, sir?" ventured carstares uneasily. "sure, ye will have the honour of appearing before me, me friend." "before _you_, sir?" "why not? i'm a justice of the peace, heaven save the mark!" there was a breathless pause, and then at last the funny side of it struck jack, and his shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. the exquisite irony of it was almost too much for him. he, the earl of wyncham, was to be formally questioned by his friend sir miles o'hara, j.p.! "what ails ye now, man? ye find it amusing?" asked miles, surprised. "oh, lud, yes!" gasped jack, and collapsed into his corner. chapter ix lady o'hara intervenes lady o'hara found that her big, indolent husband was unusually silent next morning at breakfast. she had not been married long enough to consent to being practically ignored, no matter what the time of day, but she had been married quite long enough to know that before she took any direct action against him, she must first allow him to assuage his appetite. accordingly she plied him with coffee and eggs, and with a satisfied and slightly motherly air, watched him attack a sirloin of beef. she was a pretty, birdlike little lady, with big eyes, and soft brown curls escaping from under a demure but very becoming mob cap. she measured five foot nothing in her stockings, and was sometimes referred to by her large husband as the midget. needless to say, this flippant appellation was in no wise encouraged by the lady. she decided that miles had come to the end of his repast, and, planting two dimpled elbows on the table, she rested her small chin in her hands and looked across at him with something of the air of an inquisitive kitten. "miles!" o'hara leaned back in his chair, and at the sight of her fresh prettiness his brow cleared and he smiled. "well, asthore?" a reproachful finger was raised and a pair of red lips pouted adorably. "now, miles, confess you've been vastly disagreeable this morning. twice have i spoken to you and you've not troubled to answer me--nay, let me finish! and once you growled at me like a nasty bear! yes, sir, you did!" "did i now, molly? 'tis a surly brute you're after thinking me, then? troth, and i've been sore perplexed, me dear." lady o'hara got up and sidled round to him. "have you so, miles?" he flung an arm about her and drew her on to his knee. "sure, yes, molly." "well then, miles, had you not better tell me what it is that troubles you?" she coaxed, laying a persuasive hand on his shoulder. he smiled up at her. "'tis just an inquisitive puss you are!" again the pout. "and ye should not pout your pretty lips at me if ye are not wanting me to kiss them!" he added, suiting the action to the word. "but of course i do!" cried my lady, returning the kiss with fervour. "nay, miles, tell me." "i see ye mean to have the whole tale out of me, so--" "to be sure i do!" she nodded. he laid a warning finger on her lips and summoned up a mighty frown. "now will ye be done interrupting, me lady?" not a whit abashed, she bit the finger, pushed it away, and folding her hands in her lap, cast her eyes meekly heavenwards. with a twinkle in his own eyes the irishman continued: "well, alanna, ye must know that yesterday evening i was at kilroy's on a matter of business--and that reminds me, molly, we had a hand or two at faro and the like before i left, and i had very distressing luck--" on a sudden my lady's demure air vanished. "is that so, miles? i make no doubt the stakes were prodigious high? pray, how much have you lost?" "whisht, darlin', 'tis a mere thrifle, i assure you.... well, as i was saying, on me way home, what should happen but that we be held up by one of these highwaymen--" my lady's eyes widened in horror, and two little hands clutched at his coat. "oh, miles!" his arm tightened round her waist. "sure, asthore, i'm still alive to tell the tale, though 'tis not far i'll be getting with you interrupting at every moment!" "but, miles, how terrible! you might have been killed! and you never told me! 'twas monstrous wicked of you, darling!" "faith, molly, how should i be telling you when 'twas yourself that was fast asleep? now will you whisht?" she nodded obediently, and dimpled. "well, as i say, here was this man standing in the road, pointing his pistol at me. but will ye believe me, me love, when i tell you that that same pistol was as empty as--my own?" here he was shaken with laughter. "lud, molly, 'twas the drollest thing! i had me pistol in me hand, knowing 'twas unloaded, and wondering what the devil, saving your presence, was to do next, when the idea struck me that i should try to bluff me fine sir. so i cried out that his pistol was unloaded, and completely took him by surprise! sure he hadn't time to ask himself how the devil i should be knowing that! he dropped it on the road. afther--" "miles, you are becoming very irish!" "never say so, alanna. _after_ that 'twas simple enough, and me lord gave in. he held out his hands for me to bind--and here's where 'tis puzzling, molly--i saw that they were a prodigious sight too white and fine for an ordinary highwayman. so i taxed him with it--" "'twas a gentleman in disguise! how splendid, miles!" "will ye hold your tongue, asthore, and not be spoiling me story on me?" "oh, indeed i am sorry! i will be good!" "--and he started and seemed monstrous put out. what's more, me dear, i heard him speak to his mare in an ordinary, gentleman's voice. molly, ye never saw the like of that same mare! the sweetest--" "pray, never mind the mare, dear! i am all agog to hear about the gentleman-highwayman!" "very well, me love, though 'twas a prodigious fine mare--when i heard him speak, it flashed across me brain that i knew him--no, ye don't, molly!" his hand was over her mouth as he spoke, and her eyes danced madly. "but i could not for the life of me think where i had heard that voice: 'twas but the one word i heard him speak, ye understand, and when i held his wrists i felt that 'twas no stranger. and yet 'tis impossible. when i got him within the coach--" "how imprudent! he might have--" "whisht now! when i got him within the coach i tried to worm his identity out of him, but 'twas to no avail. but when i told him he would have to appear before me to-day, he went off into a fit of laughing, till i wondered what he was at, at all. and not another word could i get out of him after beyond 'yes, sir,' and 'no, sir.' still, i felt that 'twas a gentleman all the same, so i--" he was enveloped in a rapturous embrace. "you dear miles! you let him escape?" "sure, alanna, is it meself that would be doing the like? and me a justice of the peace withal? i told them not to handcuff me lord." "oh, i do so wish you had let him escape! but if 'tis really a gentleman, you will?" "i will not then, asthore. i'll be sending him to await the assizes." "you are very cruel, then." "but, me darlin'--" "and i wish to get off your knee." he drew her close. "i'll see what can be done for your protege, molly. but don't be forgetting he tried to kill the only husband you have!" he watched the effect of this with that humorous twinkle in his eye. but my lady was not to be put off. "with an empty pistol? fie on you, miles! and may i hide behind the screen while you question him?" "ye may not." "but i wish so much to see him!" o'hara shook his head with an air of finality she knew full well. however easy-going and good-natured her husband might be, there were times when he was impervious to all blandishments. so after darkly hinting that she would be nearer than he imagined, she gave up the contest to go and visit young master david in his nursery. * * * * * for some time in lock-up carstares had cudgelled his brain to think out a possible mode of escape next day, but try as he might he could light on nothing. if only miles were not to question him! it was hardly likely that he would be allowed to retain his mask, yet therein lay his only chance of preserving his incognito. he prayed that by some merciful providence o'hara would either fail to recognise him or would at least pretend that he did not. having decided that there was nothing further to be done in the matter he lay down on his extremely hard pallet, and went to sleep as if he had not a care in the world. next morning, after a long and wordy argument with the head gaoler on the subject of masks, he was haled in triumph to the house. as the little cavalcade was about to ascend the steps that led to the front door, my lady o'hara came gaily forth carrying a basket and a pair of scissors, and singing a snatch of song. at the sight of the highwayman the song broke off and her red lips formed a long-drawn "oh!" she stood quite still on the top step, gazing down at my lord. the two gaolers stood aside to allow her to come down, just as a greyhound darted up the steps and flung itself against her in an exuberance of joy. my lady, none too securely balanced, reeled; the basket fell from her arm, her foot missed the next step, and she tumbled headlong down. but in the flash of an eyelid carstares had sprung forward and received her in his arms. he lowered her gently to the ground. "i trust you are not hurt, madam?" he asked, and retrieved her basket, handing it to her. molly took it with a smile. "i thank you sir, not at all; though i fear i should have injured myself quite considerably had you not been so swift in catching me. 'twas most kind of you, i am sure!" she extended her small hand, and her eyes devoured him. for a moment my lord hesitated, and then, sweeping off his hat, he bowed low over the hand. "'twas less than nothing, madam," he said in his own cultivated voice. "i beg you will dismiss it from your mind." he straightened himself as the gaolers came forward, and put on his hat again. lady o'hara stepped aside and watched them disappear into the house. her cheeks were rather flushed, and her eyes suspiciously bright. suddenly she nodded her head decisively, and throwing away her luckless basket, hurried across the lawn and entered the house through a long window. my lord was conducted to the library, where o'hara sat awaiting him, and slouched forward with his hands thrust deep into his pockets and his hat still on his head. the head gaoler eyed him gloomily, and looked pained when carstares with studied boorishness leaned carelessly against a fine carved table. "we 'ave refrained from 'andcuffin' pris'ner, sir, at your horders," he said, in a tone that warned o'hara that should harm come of it, on his head be the blame. miles nodded. "quite right," he said pleasantly, and glanced at the cloaked and masked figure before him with more suspicion than ever. "but i regrets to 'ave to report very hobstinate be'aviour on part of pris'ner, sir," added the gaoler impressively. "indeed?" said miles gravely. "how so?" jack controlled an insane desire to laugh, and listened to the gaoler's complaint. "you see the pris'ner, sir, with that great mask on 'is face? afore we set out to come 'ere, i told 'im to take it hoff. and 'e refoosed, sir. seeing as 'ow you gave no horders, i did not force 'im to hobey." "ah! ... your name, please?" "john smith, sir," answered carstares promptly and hoarsely. o'hara wrote it down with a sceptical smile on his lips that jack did not quite like. "perhaps ye will have the goodness to unmask?" there was a momentary silence. "why, sir, i thought ye might allow me to keep it on?" "did ye now? i will not be allowing any such thing." "but, sir--" "'tis impossible. off with it!" "sir--" "if ye don't take it off, i shall ask these men to assist ye," warned miles. "may i not speak with ye alone, sir?" pleaded jack. by now o'hara was greatly intrigued. "ye may not. unmask!" he was leaning half across the table, his eyes fixed on jack's face. with a quaint little laugh that made o'hara's brows contract swiftly, my lord shrugged his shoulders french fashion and obeyed. the mask and hat were tossed lightly on to the table, and miles found himself gazing into a pair of blue eyes that met his half defiantly, half imploringly. he drew in his breath sharply and the thin ivory rule he held snapped suddenly between his fingers. and at that crucial moment a door behind him that had stood ajar was pushed open, and my lady o'hara came tripping into the room. the two gaolers and her husband turned at once to see who it was, while jack, who had recognised her, but had not the least idea who she was, fell to dusting his boots with his handkerchief. o'hara rose, and for once looked severe. "what--" he began, and stopped, for without so much as a glance at him, my lady ran towards the prisoner, crying: "harry! oh, harry!" jack gathered that he was the person addressed, and instantly made her an elaborate leg. the next moment she was tugging at the lapels of his coat, with her face upturned to his. "harry, you wicked boy!" she cried, and added beneath her breath: "my name is molly!" a laugh sprang to my lord's eyes and his beautiful smile appeared. in a stupefied fashion o'hara watched him steal an arm about her waist, and place a hand beneath her chin. the next instant a kiss was planted full on the little lady's lips, and he heard jack carstares' voice exclaim: "fie on you, molly, for a spoil-sport! here had i fooled miles to the top of my bent--and 'pon rep.! he scarce knows me yet!" my lady disengaged herself, blushing. "oh, miles, you do know harry--my cousin harry?" o'hara collected his scattered wits and rose nobly to the occasion. "of course i do, me dear, though at first he gave me such a shock, i was near dumbfounded. ye are a mad, scatter-brained fellow to play such a thrick upon us, devil take ye!" he laid his hands on jack's shoulders. "pray, what did ye do it for, boy?" jack's brain worked swiftly. "why, miles, never tell me you've forgot our wager! did i not swear i'd have you at a disadvantage--to be even with you for that night at jasper's? but what must you do but see my pistol was unloaded and make me lose my wager! still, 'twas worth that and a night in gaol to see your face when i unmasked!" o'hara shook him slightly, laughing, and turned to the two amazed gaolers. the senior gaoler met his humorous glance with a cold and indignant stare, and gave a prodigious sniff. "me good fellows," drawled miles, "i'm mighty sorry ye've been worried over me young cousin here. he's fooled us all it appears, but now there's nought to be done in the matter, though i've a mind to send him to await the next sessions!" he slipped a guinea into each curiously ready palm, and replied to the head gaoler's haughty bow with a pleasant nod. in silence he watched them leave the room shaking their heads over the incomprehensible ways of the gentry. then he turned and looked across at carstares. chapter x lady o'hara retires for a long minute silence reigned, all three actors in the little comedy listening to the heavy footsteps retreating down the passage, carstares with one arm still around my lady's waist and a rather strained look on his face. molly instinctively felt that something beyond her ken was in the air, and glanced fearfully up at the white face above her. the expression in the blue eyes fixed on her husband made her turn sharply to look at him. she found that he was staring at my lord as though he saw a ghost: she wanted to speak, to relieve the tension, but all words stuck in her throat, and she could only watch the _denouement_ breathlessly. at last o'hara moved, coming slowly towards them, reading john's countenance. some of the wonder went out of his face, and, as if he sensed the other's agony of mind, he smiled suddenly and laid his hands once more on the straight, stiff shoulders. "jack, ye rascal, what do ye mean by hugging and kissing me wife under me very eyes?" molly all at once remembered the position of her "cousin harry's" arm, and gave a little gasp, whisking herself away. my lord put out his hands and strove to thrust his friend off. "miles, don't forget--don't forget--what i am!" the words were forced out, but his head was held high. "tare an' ouns, man! and is it meself that'll be caring what ye may or may not be? oh, jack, jack, i'm so pleased to see ye, that i can scarce realise 'tis yourself i am looking at! when did ye come to england, and what-a-plague are you doing in that costume?" he jerked his head to where john's mask lay, and wrung the hand he held as though he would never stop. "i've been in england a year. as to the mask--!" he shrugged and laughed. lady o'hara pushed in between them. "but please i do not understand!" she said plaintively. carstares bowed over her hand. "may i be permitted to thank you for your kindly intervention, my lady? and to congratulate miles on his marriage?" she dimpled charmingly and curtsied. her husband caught her round the waist. "ay, the saucy minx! oh, me cousin harry, forsooth! if it had been anyone but jack i should be angry with ye, asthore, for 'twas a wicked thrick to play entirely!" she patted his hand and smiled across at jack. "of course, i would never have done such a forward thing had i not known that he was indeed a gentleman--and had he not saved me from sudden death!" she added as an afterthought. miles looked sharply round at her and then at carstares. "what's this?" "my lady exaggerates," smiled my lord. "'tis merely that i had the honour to catch her as she fell down the steps this morning." o'hara looked relieved. "ye are not hurt, alanna?" "gracious, no! but i had to do something to show my gratitude--and i was sure that you would never expose _my_ fraud--so i--but," as a sudden thought struck her, "you seem to _know_ my highwayman!" "sure an' i do, molly. 'tis none other than jack carstares of whom ye've often heard me speak!" she turned round eyes of wonderment upon my lord. "can it be--is it possible that you are my husband's dearest friend--lord john?" jack flushed and bowed. "i was once--madam," he said stiffly. "once!" she scoffed. "oh, if you could but hear him speak of you! but i'll let you hear him speak _to_ you, which perhaps you'll enjoy more. i know you've a prodigious great deal to say to one another, so i shall run away and leave you alone." she smiled graciously upon him, blew an airy kiss to her husband and went quickly out of the room. carstares closed the door behind her and came back to o'hara, who had flung himself back into his chair, trying, manlike, to conceal the excitement he was feeling. "come, sit ye down, jack, and let me have the whole story!" my lord divested himself of his long cloak and shook out his hitherto tucked-up ruffles. from the pocket of his elegant scarlet riding coat he drew a snuff-box, which he opened languidly. with his eyes resting quizzically on o'hara's face, he took a delicate pinch of snuff and minced across the room. miles laughed. "what's this?" "this, my dear friend, is sir anthony ferndale, bart.!" he bowed with great flourish. "ye look it. but come over here, sir anthony ferndale, bart., and tell me everything." jack perched on the edge of the desk and swung his leg. "well really, i do not think there is much to tell that you do not already know, miles. you know all about dare's card-party, for instance, precisely six years ago?" "'tis just exactly what i do not know!" retorted o'hara. "you surprise me! i thought the tale was rife." "now, jack, will ye have done drawling at me? don't be forgetting i'm your friend--" "but are you? if you know the truth about me, do you feel inclined to call me friend?" "there never was a time when i would not have been proud to call ye friend, as ye would very well have known, had ye been aught but a damned young hothead! i heard that crazy tale about the card-party, but do ye think i believed it?" "it was the obvious thing to do." "maybe, but i fancy i know ye just a little too well to believe any cock-and-bull story i'm told about ye. and even if i had been fool enough to have believed it, do ye think i'd be going back on ye? sure, 'tis a poor friend i'd be!" jack stared down at the toe of his right boot in silence. "i know something more than we guessed happened at that same party, and i have me suspicions, but 'tis your affair, and whatever ye did ye had your reasons for. but, jack, why in the name of wonder must ye fly off to the devil alone knows where, without so much as a good-bye to anyone?" carstares never raised his eyes from the contemplation of that boot. he spoke with difficulty. "miles--in my place--would you not have done the same?" "well--" "you know you would. was it likely that i should inflict myself on you at such a time? what would you have thought of me had i done so?" o'hara brought his hand down smartly on the other's knee. "i'd have thought ye less of a young fool! i would have gone away with ye, and nothing would have stopped me!" jack looked up and met his eyes. "i know," he said. "'twas the thought of that--and--and--i could not be sure. how should i know whether you would even receive me? last night--last night--i was horribly afraid...." the hand on his knee tightened. "ye foolish boy! ye foolish boy!" bit by bit he drew the story of the past six years out of carstares, and though it was a very modified version, miles understood his friend well enough to read between the lines. "and now," said jack, when the recital was over, "tell me about yourself. when did you marry the attractive lady whom i have just been kissing?" "ye rogue! i married molly three years ago. 'tis a real darling she is, isn't she? and upstairs there's a little chap--your godson." "you lucky fellow! my godson, you say? could you not find anyone more worthy for that? i want to see him." "so ye shall presently. have ye seen richard?" "a year ago i held up his coach. 'twas dark, and i could scarce see him, but i thought he seemed aged." "aged! ye wouldn't be afther knowing him! 'tis an old man he is. though i swear 'tis no wonder with that hussy about the house! lord, jack, you were well out of that affair with her ladyship!" carstares nursed his foot reflectively. "lavinia? what ails her?" "nought that i know of, save it be her shrewish temper. 'tis a dog's life she leads poor dick." "do you mean to say she does not love dick?" "i cannot say--sometimes she's as affectionate as you please, but at others she treats him to a fine exhibition of rage. and the money she spends! of course, she married him for what she could get. there was never anything else to count with her." jack sat very still. "and anyone but a young fool like yourself would have seen that!" a gleam of amusement shot into the wistful blue eyes. "probably. yourself, for instance?" o'hara chuckled. "oh, ay, i knew! 'twas the money she was after all along; and now there's not so much, it seems, as dick won't touch a penny that belongs to you." "m'm. warburton told me. foolish of him." a grunt was the sole response. jack's eyes narrowed a little as he gazed out of the window. "so lavinia never cared? lord, what a mix-up! and dick?" "i'm afraid he still does." "poor old dick! devil take the woman! does she bully him? i know what he is--always ready to give in." "i am not so sure. yet i'll swear if 'twere not for john his life would be a misery. he misses you, jack." "who is john?" "did not warburton tell you? john is the hope of the house. he's four and a half, and as spoilt a little rascal as you could wish for." "dick's child? good lord!" "ay, dick's child and your nephew." he broke off and looked into the other's face. "jack, cannot this mystery be cleared up? couldn't ye go back?" he was clasping jack's hand, but it was withdrawn, and the eyes looking down into his were suddenly bored and a little cold. "i know of no mystery," said carstares. "jack, old man, will ye be afther shutting me out of your confidence?" a faint, sweet smile curved the fine lips. "let us talk of the weather, miles, or my mare. anything rather than this painful subject." with an impatient movement o'hara flung back his chair and strode over to the window with his back to my lord. jack's eyes followed him seriously. "if ye cannot trust me, sure i've no more to say, thin!" flashed o'hara. "it seems ye do not value your friends too highly!" my lord said never a word. but the hand that rested on the desk clenched suddenly. o'hara wheeled about and came back to his side. "sure, jack, i never meant that! forgive me bad temper!" carstares slipped off the table and straightened himself, linking his arm in the irishman's. "whisht, miles, as you'd say yourself," he laughed, "i know that. 'tis not that i don't trust you, but--" "i understand. i'll not ask ye any more about it at all. instead, answer me this: what made ye come out with unloaded pistols?" the laugh died out of carstares' face. "oh, just carelessness!" he answered shortly, and he thought of the absent jim with a tightening of the lips. "'twas that very same reason with meself thin!" jack stared at him. "miles, don't tell me yours were unloaded, too?" "'deed an' they were! ecod, jack! 'tis the best joke i've heard for a twelvemonth." they both started to laugh. "sure 'twas bluff on my part, jack, when i told ye yours was unloaded. and me lady was determined to set you free from the moment i told her all about it this morning. we were sure ye were no ordinary highwayman, though i was a fool not to have known ye right away. but now i have found ye out, ye'll stay with us--cousin harry?" "i cannot thank you enough, miles, but i will not do that. i must get back to jim." "and who the devil is jim?" "my servant. he'll be worried nigh to death over me. nay, do not press me, i could not stay here, miles. you must see for yourself 'tis impossible--jack carstares does not exist; only anthony ferndale is left." "jack, dear man, can i not--" "no, miles, you can do nothing, though 'tis like you to want to help, and i do thank you. but--oh well! ... what about my mare?" "plague take me if i'd not forgotten! jack, that scoundrel of mine let her strain her fetlock. i'm demmed sorry." "poor jenny! i'll swear she gave him an exciting ride, though." "i'll be trying to buy her off ye, jack, if i see much of her. 'tis a little beauty she is." "i'm not selling, though i intended to ask you to keep her, if--" a quick pressure on his arm arrested him. "that will do! i'm too heavy for her anyway." "so was that devil of a groom you put on her." "ay. i'm a fool." "i always knew that." "whisht now, jack! ye'll have to take one of my nags while she heals, if ye won't stay with us. can ye trust her to me for a week, do ye suppose?" "i don't know. it seems as though i must--oh, i retract, i retract. you are altogether too large, the day is too hot, and my cravat too nicely tied--egad, miles! i wish--oh, i _wish_ we were boys again, and--yes. when may i see your son and heir?" "sure, ye may come now and find molly, who'll be aching for the sight of you. afther you, sir anthony ferndale, bart!" chapter xi my lord turns rescuer and comes nigh ending his life late that afternoon carstares left thurze house on one of his friend's horses. he waved a very regretful farewell to o'hara and his lady, promising to let them know his whereabouts and to visit them again soon. o'hara had extracted a solemn promise that if ever he got into difficulties he would let him know: "for i'm not letting ye drift gaily out of me life again, and that's flat." jack had assented gladly enough--to have a friend once more was such bliss--and had given miles the name of the inn and the village where he would find him, for o'hara had insisted on bringing the mare over himself. so carstares rode off to trencham and to jim, with the memory of a very hearty handshake in his mind. he smiled a little as he thought of his friend's words when he had shown himself reluctant to give the required promise: "ye obstinate young devil, ye'll do as i say, and no nonsense, or ye don't leave this house!" for six years no one had ordered him to obey; it had been he who had done all the ordering. somehow it was very pleasant to be told what to do, especially by miles. he turned down a lane and wondered what jim was thinking. that he was waiting at the green man, he was certain, for those had been his orders. he was annoyed with the man over the incident of the pistols, for he had inspected them and discovered that they were indeed unloaded. had his captor been other than o'hara, on whom he could not fire, such carelessness might have proved his undoing. apart from that, culpable negligence always roused his wrath. a rather warm twenty minutes was in store for salter. for quite an hour carstares proceeded on his way with no mishaps nor adventures, and then, suddenly, as he rounded a corner of a deserted road--little more than a cart-track--an extraordinary sight met his eyes. in the middle of the road stood a coach, and by it, covering the men on the box with two large pistols, was a seedy-looking ruffian, while two others were engaged in what appeared to be a life-and-death struggle at the coach-door. jacked reined-in his horse and rose in his stirrups to obtain a better view. then his eyes flashed, and he whistled softly to himself. for the cause of all the turmoil was a slight, graceful girl of not more than nineteen or twenty. she was frenziedly resisting the efforts of her captors to drag her to another coach, further up the road. jack could see that she was dark and very lovely. another, elderly lady, was most valiantly impeding operations by clawing and striking at one of the men's arms, scolding and imploring all in one breath. jack's gaze went from her to a still, silent figure at the side of the road in the shadow of the hedge, evidently the stage-manager. "it seems i must take a hand in this," he told himself, and laughed joyously as he fixed on his mask and dismounted. he tethered his mount to a young sapling, took a pistol from its holster, and ran softly and swiftly under the lea of the hedge up to the scene of disaster, just as the man who covered the unruly and vociferous pair on the box made ready to fire. jack's bullet took him neatly in the neck, and without a sound he crumpled up, one of his pistols exploding harmlessly as it fell to earth. with an oath the silent onlooker wheeled round to face the point of my lord's gleaming blade. carstares drew in his breath sharply in surprise as he saw the white face of his grace of andover. "damn you!" said tracy calmly, and sprang back, whipping out his own rapier. "certainly," agreed jack pleasantly. "on guard, m. le duc!" tracy's lips curled back in a snarl. his eyes were almost shut. over his shoulder he ordered curtly: "keep watch over the girl. i will attend to this young jackanapes." on the word the blades clashed. jack's eyes danced with the sheer joy of battle, and his point snicked in and out wickedly. he knew tracy of old for an expert swordsman, and he began warily. the girl's persecutors retained a firm hold on either arm, but all their thoughts were centred on the duel. the men on the box got out their blunderbuss, ready to fire should the need arise, and the girl herself watched breathlessly, red lips apart, and eyes aglow with fright, indignation, and excitement. as for the old lady, she positively bobbed up and down shrieking encouragement to carstares. the blades hissed continuously against one another; time after time the duke thrust viciously, and ever his point was skilfully parried. he was absolutely calm, and his lips sneered. who it was that he was fighting, he had not the faintest idea; he only knew that his opponent had recognised him, and must be speedily silenced. therefore he fought with deadly grimness and purpose. carstares, on the other hand, had no intention of killing his grace. he had never liked him in the old days, but he was far too good-natured to contemplate any serious bloodshed. he was so used to tracy's little affairs that he had not been filled with surprise when he discovered who the silent figure was. he did not like interfering with belmanoir, but, on the other hand, he could no more stand by and see a woman assaulted than he could fly. so he fought on with the idea of disarming his grace, so as to have him at a disadvantage and to be able to command his withdrawal from the scene. once he feinted cleverly, and lunged, and a little blood trickled down over the duke's hand. no sign made belmanoir, except that his eyelids flickered a moment and his play became more careful. once the duke thrust in tierce and jack's sword arm wavered an instant, and a splash of crimson appeared on his sleeve. he, for the most part, remained on the defensive, waiting for the duke to tire. soon his grace's breath began to come unevenly and fast, and beads of moisture started on his forehead. yet never did the sneer fade nor his temper go; he had himself well in hand, and although his face was livid, and his brain on fire with fury, no trace of it showed itself in his sword-play. then carstares changed his tactics, and began to put into practice all the arts and subtleties of fence that he had learnt abroad. he seemed made of steel and set on wires, so agile and untireable was he. time after time he leapt nimbly aside, evading some wicked thrust, and all the while he was driving his grace back and back. he was not panting, and now and again he laughed softly and happily. the blood from the wound on his arm was dripping steadily on to the ground, yet it seemed to tracy to affect him not at all. but jack himself knew that he was losing strength rapidly, and must make an end. suddenly he feinted, and fell back. tracy saw his advantage and pressed forward within the wavering sword-point. the next instant his sword was whirled from his grasp, and he lay on the ground, unhurt but helpless, gazing up at the masked face and at the shortened rapier. how he had been thrown he did not know, but that his opponent was a past master in the art of fence he was perfectly sure. my lord gave a little chuckle and twisted a handkerchief about his wounded arm. "i am aware, m'sieur, that this is most unusual--and, in duels--forbidden. but i am sure that milor' will agree that the circumstances are also--most unusual--and the odds--almost overwhelming!" he turned his head to the two men, one of whom released his hold on the girl's arm and started forward. "oh, no!" drawled my lord, shaking his head. "another step and i spit your master where he lies." "stand," said his grace calmly. "_bien_! throw your arms down here at my feet, and--ah--release mademoiselle!" they made no move to obey, and my lord shrugged deprecatingly, lowering his point to tracy's throat. "_eh bien!_" they still hesitated, casting anxious glances at their master. "obey," ordered the duke. each man threw down a pistol, eyeing jack furtively, while the girl ran to her aunt, who began to soothe and fuss over her. jack stifled a yawn. "it is not my intention to remain here all night. neither am i a child--or a fool. _dépêchez!_" belmanoir saw that the coachman had his blunderbuss ready and was only too eager to fire it, and he knew that the game was up. he turned his head towards the reluctant bullies who looked to him for orders. "throw down everything!" he advised. two more pistols and two daggers joined their comrades. "a thousand thanks!" bowed my lord, running a quick eye over the men. "m. le duc, i pray you be still. now, you with the large nose--yes, _mon ami_, you--go pick up the pistol our defunct friend dropped." the man indicated slouched over to the dead body and flung another pistol on to the heap. my lord shook his head impatiently. "_mais non_. have i not said that i am not entirely a fool? the unexploded pistol, please. you will place it here, _doucement._ very good." his eye travelled to the men on the box. the coachman touched his hat and cried: "i'm ready, sir!" "it is very well. be so good as to keep these gentlemen covered, but do not fire until i give the order. and now, m. le duc, have i your parole that you will return swiftly from whence you came, leaving this lady unmolested, an i permit you to rise?" tracy moved his head impatiently. "i have no choice." "monsieur, that is not an answer. have i your parole?" "yes, curse you!" "but certainly," said jack politely. "pray rise." he rested his sword-point on the ground, and watched tracy struggle to his feet. for an instant the duke stood staring at him, with face slightly out-thrust. "i almost think i know you," he said softly, caressingly. jack's french accent became a shade more pronounced. "it is possible. i at least have the misfortune to know monsieur by sight." tracy ignored the insult, and continued very, very silkily: "one thing is certain: i shall know you again--if i meet you!" even as the words left his mouth jack saw the pistol in his hand and sprang quickly to one side, just in time to escape a shot that would have gone straight through his head. as it was, it caught him in his left shoulder. "do not fire!" he called sharply to the coachman, and bowed to his grace. "as i was saying, m'sieu--do not let me detain you, i beg." the duke's green eyes flashed venom for a minute, and then the heavy lids descended over them again, and he returned the bow exaggeratedly. "_au revoir_, monsieur," he smiled, and bent to pick up his sword. "it will--not be necessary for--m'sieu to--take his sword," said jack. "i have a--desire to keep--it as a--souvenir. yes." "as you will, monsieur," replied tracy carelessly, and walked away to his coach, his men following close on his heels. my lord stood leaning heavily on his sword, watching them go, and not until the coach had swung out of sight did he give way to the weakness that was overwhelming him. then he reeled and would have fallen, had it not been for two cool hands that caught his, steadying him. a tremulous, husky voice sounded in his ears: "you are hurt! ah, sir, you are hurt for my sake!" with a great effort jack controlled the inclination to swoon, and lifted the girl's hand shakily to his lips. "it is a--pleasure--mademoiselle," he managed to gasp. "now--you may--i think--proceed--in safety." diana slipped an arm under his shoulder and cast an anxious glance at the footman, hurrying towards them. "quick!" she commanded. "sir, you are faint! you must allow my servant to assist you to the coach." jack forced a smile. "it is--nothing--i assure you--pray do not--i--" and he fainted comfortably away into stout thomas's arms. "carry him into the coach, thomas!" ordered the girl. "mind his arm, and--oh! his poor shoulder. aunt, have you something to bind his wounds with?" miss betty hurried forward. "my darling child, what an escape! the dear, brave gentleman! do have a care, thomas! yes, lay him on the seat." my lord was lowered gently on to the cushions, and miss betty fluttered over to him like a distracted hen. then diana told thomas to take charge of my lord's horse that they could see, quietly nibbling the grass further down the road, stooped and picked up his grace of andover's sword, with its curiously wrought hilt, and jumped into the coach to help miss betty to attend to jack's wounds. the slash on the arm was not serious, but where the pistol had taken him was very ugly-looking. while she saw to that, miss betty loosened the cravat and removed my lord's mask. "di, see what a handsome boy 'tis! the poor, brave gentleman! what a lucky thing he came up! if only this bleeding would stop!" so she ran on, hunting wildly for her salts. diana looked up as her aunt finished, and studied the pale face lying against the dark cushions. she noted the firm, beautifully curved mouth, the aristocratic nose and delicately pencilled eyebrows, with a little thrill. the duel had set her every nerve tingling; she was filled with admiration for her preserver, and the sight of his sensitive, handsome countenance did nothing to dispel that admiration. she held the salts to his nostrils and watched eagerly for some sign of life. but none was forthcoming, and she had to be content with placing cushions beneath his injured shoulder, and guarding him as best she might from the jolts caused by the uneven surface of the road. miss betty bustled about and did all she could to stanch the bleeding, and when they had comfortably settled my lord, she sat down upon the seat opposite and nodded decisively. "we can do no more, my dear--but, yes--certainly bathe his forehead with your lavender water. dear me, what an escape! i must say i would never have thought it of mr. everard! one would say we were living in the stone age! the wretch!" diana shuddered. "i knew he was dreadful, but never _how_ dreadful! how can he have found out when we were to leave bath--and why did he waylay us so near home? oh, i shall never be safe again!" "nonsense, my dear! fiddlesticks! you saw how easily he was vanquished. depend upon it, he will realise that he has made a bad mistake to try to abduct you, and we shall not be worried with him again." with this comfortable assurance, she nodded again and leant back against the cushions, watching her niece's ministrations with a professional and slightly amused air. chapter xii my lord dictates a letter and receives a visitor my lord came sighing back to life. he opened his eyes wearily, and turned his head. a faint feeling of surprise stole over him. he was in a room he had never been in before, and by the window, busy with some needlework, sat a little old lady who was somehow vaguely familiar. "who--are--you?" he asked, and was annoyed to find his voice so weak. the little lady jumped, and came across to him. "praise be to god!" she ejaculated. "likewise, bless the boy! the fever is passed." she laid a thin hand on his brow, and smiled down into his wondering eyes. "as cool as a cucumber, dear boy. what a mercy!" it was a long time since anyone had called jack dear, or boy. he returned the smile feebly and closed his eyes. "i--do not--understand--anything," he murmured drowsily. "never trouble your head then. just go to sleep." he considered this gravely for a moment. it seemed sensible enough, and he was so very, very tired. he shut his eyes with a little sigh. * * * * * when he awoke again it was morning of the next day, and the sun streamed in the window, making him blink. someone rustled forward, and he saw it was the lady who had called him dear and bidden him go to sleep. he smiled, and a very thin hand came out of the bedclothes. "but who are you?" he demanded a little querulously. miss betty patted his hand gently. "still worrying your poor head over that? i am di's aunt betty--though, to be sure, you don't know who di is!" remembrance was coming back to my lord. "why--why--you are the lady in the coach!--tracy--i remember!" "well, i know nought of tracy, but i'm the lady in the coach." "and the other--" "that was diana beauleigh, my niece--the pet. you will see her when you are better." "but--but--where am i, madam?" "now don't get excited, dear boy!" "i'm thirty!" protested jack with a wicked twinkle. "i should not have thought it, but thirty's a boy to me, in any case!" retorted miss betty, making him laugh. "you are in mr. beauleigh's house--di's father, and my brother. and here you will stay until you are quite recovered!" jack raised himself on his elbow, grimacing at the pain the movement caused him. "egad, madam! have i been here long?" he demanded. very firmly was he pushed back on to his pillows. "will you be still? a nice thing 'twould be if you were to aggravate that wound of yours! you will have been here a week to-morrow. bless my heart, what ails the boy?" for jack's face took on an expression of incredulous horror. "a _week_, madam? never say so!" "'tis as true as i stand here. and a nice fright you have given us, what with nearly dying, and raving about your dicks and your jims!" my lord glanced up sharply. "oh! so i--talked?" "talk? well, yes, if you can call all that mixture of foreign jargon talking. now you must be still and wait till the doctor comes again." for a while carstares lay in silence. he thought of jim and smiled a little. "i could not have thought of a better punishment had i tried," he told himself, and then frowned. "poor fellow! he'll be off his head with fright over me. miss--er--betty?" "well, and are you not asleep yet?" "asleep, madam? certainly not!" he said with dignity. "i must write a letter." "'deed, an' you shall not!" "but i must! 'tis monstrous important, madam." she shook her head resolutely. "not until mr. jameson gives permission," she said firmly. jack struggled up, biting his lip. "then i shall get up!" he threatened. in an instant she was by his side. "no, no! now lie down and be good!" "i will not lie down and be good!" "then i shan't let you touch a pen for weeks!" jack became very masterful and frowned direfully upon her. "madam, i insist on being allowed to write that letter!" "sir, i insist on your lying down!" he controlled a twitching lip. "woe betide you unless you bring me pen and paper, miss betty!" "but, dear boy, reflect! you could not use your arm." "i will use it!" replied jack indomitably, but he sank back on to the pillows with his eyes closed and a tiny furrow of pain between his straight brows. "i told you so!" scolded miss betty, not without a note of triumph in her voice, and proceeded to rearrange the disorderly coverlet. the blue eyes opened wide, pleadingly. "madam, indeed 'tis very important." she could not withstand that look. "well," she compromised, "i'll not let you write yourself, that's certain--but could you not dictate to me?" jack brightened, and caught her hand to his lips. "miss betty, you are an angel!" he told her. "ah now, get along with you!" she hurried away to fetch paper and ink. when she returned she found him plucking impatiently at the sheet, and frowning. "i am ready," she said. "thank you, madam. 'tis very kind in you--" "nonsense!" he laughed weakly. "i want you to write to my servant, to bid him bring my baggage to the nearest inn--" "that will i not! i shall tell him to bring it here." "but, miss betty, i cannot possibly trespass upon--" "will you have done? trespass indeed!" "i perceive i shall be much put upon," sighed jack, and watched her lightning smile. "you boy! will you dictate?" "very well, ma'am. no, i have changed my mind. i'll have it writ to a friend, please: 'dear miles.... true to my promise.... i write to you.... in case ... you should be worried ... over my disappearance ... be it known ... that i am at'--pray, madam, where am i?" "horton manor, littledean," she replied, writing it down. "thank you. 'i had the misfortune to injure my shoulder in a--" "'and arm,'" put in the scribe, inexorably. "'and arm, in a fight ... and a certain very ... kind lady--'" "i refuse to write that rubbish! 'one of the ladies whom i rescued--'" "good heavens, madam, you've not put that?" cried jack horrified. she smiled reassuringly. "i have not. i have put: 'my nurse is writing this for me.'" "madam, you are of a teasing disposition," reproved my lord. "m--yes--'when you take jenny--over to trencham ... will you please tell jim to bring my baggage ... here at once?' have you that, miss betty?" "yes." "remember me to lady ... molly, i beg ... and accept my apologies ... and thanks.'" he paused. "will you sign it j.c., please, and address it to sir miles o'hara, thurze house, maltby?" "sir miles o'hara! is he your friend, mr.--mr.--i do not know your name." "car--" began jack, and stopped, biting his lip. "carr," he continued imperturbably, "john carr. do you know o'hara, miss betty?" "me? no! will he come to see you, do you think?" "if you let him in, madam!" "gracious! well, well! i'll tell thomas to ride over with this at once." "miss betty, you are marvellously good. i vow i can never thank--" "bless the boy! and what about yourself, pray? i shudder to think of what might have happened to di if you had not come up! 'tis we can never thank you enough." jack reddened boyishly and uncomfortably. "indeed, you exaggerate--" "tut, tut! well, go to sleep, and never worry about anything till i return. and you won't try and get up?" he shook with laughter. "i swear i will not! even an you never return, i will lie here, wasting away--" but he spoke to space, for with a delighted laugh she had left the room. it was not until late that afternoon that o'hara arrived, and he was conducted, after a brief conversation with diana and her father, to my lord's room, where miss betty received him with her cheery smile and jerky curtsey. "you'll not excite mr. carr?" she said, but was interrupted by my lord's voice from within, weak but very gay. "come in, miles, and never listen to miss betty! she is a tyrant and denies me my wig!" o'hara laughed in answer to miss betty's quizzical smile, and strode over to the bed. he gripped my lord's thin hand and frowned down at him with an assumption of anger. "young good-for-nought! could ye find nought better to do than to smash yourself up and well-nigh drive your man crazy with fright?" "oh, pshaw! did you find jim?" o'hara looked round and saw that miss betty had discreetly vanished. he sat gingerly down on the edge of the bed. "ay. i took the mare over as soon as i had your letter--and a fine scare you gave me, jack, i can tell you! she recognised him, and i accosted him." "i'll swear you did not get much satisfaction from jim!" said my lord. "did he look very foolish?" "to tell ye the truth, i thought the man was half daft, and wondered whether i'd been after making a mistake. but in the end i got him to believe what i was trying to tell him, and he has taken the mare, and will bring your baggage along this evening. by the way, john, i told him of our little meeting, and of your pistols being unloaded. he said 'twas his fault, and ye never saw aught to touch his face! put out was not the word for it." "i suppose so. look here, miles, this is a damned funny affair!" "what happened to you exactly?" "'tis what i am about to tell you. after i had left you, i rode on quite quietly for about an hour, and then came upon miss beauleigh's coach stopped by three blackguards who were trying to drag her to another coach belonging to the gentleman who conducted the affair. so, of course, i dismounted, and went to see what was to be done." "you _would_ be after poking your nose into what didn't concern ye. four men, and ye had the audacity to tackle them all? 'tis mad ye are entirely!" "of course, if you had been in my place you would have ridden off in another direction--or aided the scoundrels?" was the scathing reply. o'hara chuckled. "well, go on, jack. i'm not saying i don't wish i had been with ye." "'twould have been superb. i suppose miss beauleigh has told you most of the tale, but there is one thing that she could not have told you, for she did not know it: the man i fought with was belmanoir." "thunder and turf! not the duke?" "yes. tracy." "zounds! did he know ye?" "i cannot be certain. i was masked, of course, but he said he thought he did. 'twas at that moment he fired his pistol at me." "the dirty scoundrel!" "m'm--yes. 'tis that which makes me think he did not know me. damn it all, miles, even tracy would not do a thing like that!" "would he not? if ye ask me, i say that tracy is game enough for any kind of devilry." "but, my dear fellow, that is too black! he could not try to kill in cold blood a man he had hunted with, and fenced with-and--and--no man could!" o'hara looked extremely sceptical. "because ye could not yourself, is not to say that a miserable spalpeen like belmanoir could not." "i don't believe it of him. we were always quite friendly--if it had been robert now--but i am not going to believe it. and don't say anything to these people, o'hara, because they do not know devil. i gather from what miss betty says, that he calls himself everard. he met the girl--diana--at bath; you know his way. she'd none of him: hence the abduction." "heavens, but 'tis a foul mind the man's got!" "where women are concerned, yes. otherwise--'tis not such a bad fellow, miles." "i've no use for that kind of dirt myself, jack." "oh, i don't know. i daresay we are none of us exactly saints." he changed the subject abruptly. "how is jenny?" "rather off her feed; missing you, i expect. i left her with your man. he should be arriving soon, i should think. i don't fancy he'll waste much time." "neither do i. poor fellow, he must have worried terribly over his worthless master." "sure, his face was as white as your own when i told him ye were wounded!" carstares turned his head quickly. "what's this about my face? just be so kind as to hand me that mirror, miles." o'hara laughed and obeyed, watching my lord's close scrutiny of his countenance with some surprise. "interesting pallor, my dear friend, interesting pallor. nevertheless, i am glad that jim is on his way." he met o'hara's eyes as he looked up, and his lips quivered irrepressibly. "you think me very vain, miles?" "is it a pose of yours, john? is it sir anthony ferndale, bart?" "no. i believe it is myself. you see, when one has but one's self to live for and think for--one makes the most of one's self! hence my vanity. take the mirror away, please--the sight of my countenance offends me!" "sure, ye are free with your orders, me lord!" said o'hara, putting the glass down on the table. "and, while i think of it--what might your name be now?" "john carr--a slip of the tongue on my part, stopped in time. i hear my mentor returning--and--miles!" "well?" "come again!" "come again! my dear boy, ye'll be sick of the sight of me soon! i shall be here every day." "thanks! it will take a good deal to sicken me, i think." he bit his lip, turning his head away as miss betty came into the room. "i'm afraid that you ought to leave my patient now, sir miles," she said. "he has had enough excitement for one day, and should sleep." she glanced at the averted head inquiringly. "i doubt he is tired?" jack turned and smiled at her. "no, miss betty, i'm not. but i know you will refuse to believe me." "my dear boy, do you know you have black lines beneath your eyes?" "more remarks about my face!" he sighed, and glanced at o'hara, who had risen. "you are quite right, miss beauleigh, i must go. may i come again to-morrow?" "surely," she beamed. "we shall be delighted to welcome you." o'hara bent over the bed. "then _au revoir_, jack. my lady sent her love to her 'cousin harry'--the saucy puss!" "did she? how prodigious kind of her, miles! and you'll give her mine, and kiss her--" "yes?" said o'hara with dangerous calm. "i'll kiss her what?" "her hand for me!" ended carstares, bubbling over. "good-bye, and thank you--" "that will suffice!" said miles, cutting him short. he bowed to miss betty and left the room. the business-like little lady fluttered over to the bedside and rearranged the pillows. "well, and are you satisfied?" "madam, most extraordinarily so, i thank you. i shall be getting up soon." "h'm!" was all she vouchsafed, and left him to his meditations. as she had foreseen, he dozed a little, but his shoulder would not allow him to sleep. he lay in a semi-comatose condition, his eyes shut, and a deep furrow, telling of pain, between his brows. the sound of a shutting door made him open his eyes; he turned his head slightly and saw that jim salter was standing in the middle of the room looking at him anxiously. my lord returned his gaze crossly, and jim waited for the storm to break. carstares' heart melted, and he managed to smile. "i'm monstrous glad to see you, jim," he said. "you--you can't mean that, sir! 'twas i left your pistols unloaded." "i know. damned careless of you, but it's the sort of thing i should do myself, after all." jim advanced to the bedside. "do you mean you forgive me, sir?" "why, of course! i could not have fired on my best friend in any case." "no, sir, but that don't make it any better." "it doesn't, of course, and i was rather annoyed at the time--oh, devil take you, jim, don't look at me like that! i'm not dead yet!" "if--if you had been killed, sir--'twould have been my fault." "rubbish! i'd a sword, hadn't i? for heaven's sake don't worry about it any more! have you brought all my baggage?" "yes, sir. it shan't occur again, sir." "certainly not. jenny is well?" "splendid, sir. will you still trust me with your pistols, sir?" carstares groaned. "will you have done? 'twas an accident, and i have forgotten it. here's my hand on it!" he grasped jim's as he spoke, and seemed to brush the whole subject aside. "have you disposed of that horrible coat you tried to make me wear the other day?" "i gave it to the landlord, sir." "i should have burned it, but perhaps he liked it." "he did, sir. will you try to go to sleep now?" "if you had a shoulder on fire and aching as mine does, you wouldn't ask such a ridiculous question," answered jack snappishly. "i'm sorry, sir. is there aught i can do?" "you can change the bandages, if you like. these are prodigious hot and uncomfortable." without another word salter set about easing his master, and he was so painstaking and so careful not to hurt the ugly wound, and his face expressed so much concern, that carstares controlled a desire to swear when he happened to touch a particularly tender spot, and at the end rewarded him with a smile and a sigh of content. "that is much better," he said. "you have such a light touch, jim." the man's face reddened with pleasure, but he said nothing, and walked away to the window to draw the curtains. chapter xiii my lord makes his bow after jim's arrival my lord recovered quickly, each day making great progress, much to the doctor's satisfaction, who never tired of telling mr. beauleigh and miss betty that it was entirely owing to his treatment that the patient had recovered at all. as his idea of treatment mainly consisted of copiously bleeding john, which process miss betty very soon put an end to, he and she had many arguments on the subject, in which he was completely routed. she held that mr. carr was well on the strength of her nursing and his own constitution--and very probably she was right. in any case, hardly a fortnight after o'hara's first visit, my lord was standing before his mirror, surveying himself, with his head speculatively on one side and a worried look in his eyes. salter watched him anxiously, knowing this to be a critical moment. his master was somewhat of an enigma to him; the important things in life never appeared to affect him, but over a question of two cravats as opposed to each other, or some equally trivial matter, he would become quite harassed. after contemplating his appearance for several moments, carstares frowned and looked over his shoulder. "i have changed my mind, jim. i will wear blue after all." salter sighed despairingly. "ye look very well in what ye have on, sir," he grunted. jack sat down obstinately. "i have conceived a dislike--nay, a veritable hatred--for puce. i will wear blue." "now, sir, do ha' done changing your clothes! ye'll be tired out before ever ye get downstairs, and ye know what the doctor said." my lord consigned the doctor and his words of wisdom to a place of great heat. "ay, sir, but--" "the doctor is a worthy individual, jim, but he knows even less of the art of dressing than you do. he does not understand the soul-agony of a man who makes his first appearance in puce." "but--" "the blue coat laced with gold." "sir--" "i order it! i insist; the blue coat or nought!" "very well, sir." resignedly jim walked to the cupboard. when at length his lordship was dressed to his entire satisfaction it was midway through the hot june afternoon, and miss betty was tapping at the door, wishing to know whether mr. carr was coming down, or whether he was not. carstares shifted his sling, and taking up his hat, moved just a little shakily to the door. salter opened it, and cast a triumphant glance at miss betty, as though he were showing off all my lord's graces. he proffered an arm. "shall i help ye, sir?" miss betty curtsied low. "la, mr. carr!" john bowed profoundly. "give ye good den, madam," he said. "i am just about to descend. thank you, jim." he leaned heavily on the man's arm. miss betty walked round him admiringly. "lud! 'tis mighty elegant, i vow! but i protest, i am shy!" "egad, miss betty! and why?" "you are not so young as i imagined," she replied candidly. "bear in mind, madam, that i never sought to deceive you. i am an aged man." "thirty!" she scoffed, and went on ahead. "come, child, and mind the first step!" at the bottom of the staircase stood mr. beauleigh, a man of medium height, thin-lipped and grey-eyed. he came forward with one hand outstretched. "i am delighted to see you so much better, sir. i trust your shoulder no longer pains you?" my lord pushed jim gently to one side and placed his hand in mr. beauleigh's. "i thank you, sir, it is almost well. but for miss betty, who, i fear, has the makings of a true tyrant, i should not wear this obnoxious sling." mr. beauleigh smiled a little. "ah, yes, she keeps us all in order, does betty. pray, will you not walk a little in the garden? there are chairs on the lawn--and here is my daughter." he waved to the door, and carstares, turning, beheld diana. she stood framed by the dark wood, gowned in amber silk, with old lace falling from her elbows and over the bosom of her dress. her hair was dark as night, with little tendrils curling over her broad, white brow. one rolling curl fell over her shoulder, the rest were gathered up under a small lace cap, which was secured by means of a riband passed beneath her chin. jack gazed, and gazed again, and in her turn diana studied him with wide brown eyes of almost childlike innocence. then her lids fluttered and curling lashes veiled the glorious depths, as a slow blush mounted to her cheeks. my lord recovered his manners and made his most approved leg as her father presented him. "my love, this is mr. carr--" diana sank into a curtsey. "--and, mr. carr, this is my daughter, diana." "i am delighted to make miss beauleigh's acquaintance," said john, and raised her hand to his lips. the delicate, tapering fingers trembled a little in his hold, and tremulous lips parted in the shyest and most adorable smile that he had ever seen. "indeed, sir, we are already acquainted. i am not like to forget my rescuer." "i am happy to think that i was able to be of some service to you, mademoiselle. believe me, it was an honour to fight in your cause." his eyes were on the fascinating dimple that played about her mouth. "'tis very kind of you to say so, sir. i fear we greatly incommoded you--and--" she made a gesture towards his sling. "that, mademoiselle, is less than nothing. all the obligation is on my side." miss betty bustled forward. "now that will do! i never heard such a foolish set of compliments! you are looking tired, mr. carr; come into the garden and rest." salter stepped forward, but diana stayed him with uplifted finger. "if mr. carr will accept my arm?" she hazarded. jack flushed. "indeed, no, miss beauleigh--i can--" "oh, tut-tut!" cried miss betty. "have done dilly-dallying! take him out, di!" mr. beauleigh had already disappeared. his world lay in his library, and he was never far from it for any length of time. now he had seized the moment when his sister was not looking to withdraw quietly, and, when she turned round, she was only in time to see the library door close softly. "your papa has gone again," she remarked to her niece. "what a trying man he is, to be sure!" she followed the pair out on to the lawn, and helped to make carstares seat himself in a long chair under a great elm. a cushion was placed under his wounded shoulder and another at his back. "and are you sure that you are quite comfortable?" inquired miss betty, anxiously bending over him. jack laughed up at her. "quite sure, thank you, madam. but where will you sit?" "i shall sit in this chair, and di will sit on a cushion"--throwing one down--"at my feet--so." "i see that you are all ruled with a rod of iron, mademoiselle," he said, and watched the dimple tremble into being. "indeed, yes, sir. 'tis very sad." miss betty chuckled, and unrolled a packet of silks which she threw into her niece's lap. "will you have the goodness to sort those for me, love?" she asked, taking out her embroidery. "pray allow me to assist!" pleaded john. diana rose and planted her cushion down beside his chair. she then knelt down upon it and emptied the multi-coloured strands on to his knee. "very well! you must be very careful to separate the different pinks, though. see, we will have the rose here, the salmon here, the deeper rose here, the pale pink over there, and the reds--there is no more room--we will put the reds in this paper." "certainly," agreed carstares. "are we to leave the other colours until the pinks are sorted?" she nodded and bent her head over the silks. "is sir miles coming this afternoon, mr. carr?" "why yes, miss betty--now you mention it, i remember that he is. miss beauleigh, i defy you to put that one on the rose pile; 'tis a shade too deep." "i am sure 'tis not! where is one to compare with it?" carstares produced a long thread and held it next to hers. the two heads were bent close over it. diana sighed. "you are right; i can just see the difference. but 'tis _very_ slight!" miss betty peeped over their shoulders. "gracious, what an eye you must have! i can detect no difference." her eye ran along the row of silks laid out on my lord's white satin leg. "mr. carr," said diana suddenly, "i want to ask you something--something that has been puzzling me." "faith, what is it, miss beauleigh?" "just this: why did you call mr. everard m. le duc?" there was a tiny pause. my lord looked down into the gold-flecked eyes and frowned a little. "did i call him that?" "yes, i remember it distinctly. was it just--a manner of speaking?" "just a manner of speaking.... you may call it that, mademoiselle. do you not think that he looks rather ducal?" "i tried not to think of him at all. i hate him!" "almost i begin to pity this mr. everard," quoth jack. the dimple peeped out. "then 'tis most ungallant of you, sir!" she reproved. "do you know mr. everard?" "i have certainly seen him before, madam." diana sat back on her heels and eyed him wonderingly. "i believe you do not wish to answer me," she said slowly. "tell me, is 'everard' that man's real name?" my lord twisted the ring on his finger uneasily. he did not feel himself at liberty to expose belmanoir, and if he should reveal his true identity, it was quite possible that mr. beauleigh might seek him out, in which case he himself might be recognised. he looked up. "pardon me, mademoiselle, but whence this cross-examination?" diana nodded placidly. "i thought you would refuse, but i have discovered something that will confound you, sir!" she rose to her feet. "i will go and get it." she walked gracefully away towards the house, and my lord watched her go. "now _i_ am going to ask a question," broke in miss betty's voice. he threw out an imploring hand. "madam, i beg you will consider my feeble condition. am i fit to bear the strain, think you?" "i do!--is it usual for gentlemen to ride masked, as you were?" at that he laughed. "no, madam, but for the gentlemen of the high toby, it is _de régie_." she paused, with her needle held in mid-air: "now, what mean you by that?" "just that i am a common highwayman, miss betty." she stared at him for a moment, and then resumed her work. "you look it." john cast a startled glance down his slim person. "is that so, madam? and i rather flattered myself i did not!" "i was only laughing at you. you do not expect me to believe that fabrication--surely?" "i fear i do," he sighed. "'tis very true, alack!" "oh, indeed? also a friend of sir miles o'hara, _j.p_.--and of mr. everard?" "at least the last-named is not an acquaintance to be proud of," he retorted. "perhaps not. my di says he is some great gentleman." "i perceive that your di is by nature suspicious. why does she think that?" "you will see. di, love, here is mr. carr trying to make me believe that he is a highwayman!" diana came up to them smiling. "i fear he teases you, aunt. do you remember this, sir?" into jack's hands she put his grace of andover's sword. carstares took it, surprised, and glanced casually at the hilt. then he started up. "why, 'tis his sword. and i thought 'twas left on the roadside. can it be--did _you_ bring it, mademoiselle?" she dropped him a curtsey, and laughed. "you are surprised, sir? you demanded the sword, so i naturally supposed that you required it. therefore i brought it home." "'twas monstrous thoughtful of you then. i dared not hope that it had not been forgotten. i am very grateful--" "then pray show your gratitude by sitting down again!" advised the elder miss beauleigh. "remember that this is your first day up, and have a care!" john subsided obediently, turning the sword over in his hands. diana pointed to the wrought gold hilt with an accusing finger. "an i mistake not, sir, that is a coronet." my lord's eyes followed the pink-tipped finger and rested wrathfully upon the arms of andover. it was like tracy to flaunt them on his sword-hilt, he reflected. "it certainly has that appearance," he admitted cautiously. "also, those are not paste, but real diamonds, and that is a ruby." "i do not dispute it, madam," he answered meekly. "and i believe that that big stone is an emerald." "i am very much afraid that it is." "an expensive toy!" she said, and looked sharply at him. "ornate, i agree, but as true a piece of steel as ever i saw," replied my lord blandly, balancing the rapier on one finger. "a very expensive toy!" she repeated sternly. john sighed. "true, madam--true." then with a brightened air: "perhaps mr. everard has expensive tastes?" "it is very possible. and i think that mr. everard must have been more than a simple country gentleman to indulge those tastes." carstares bit his lip to hide a smile at the thought of tracy in the light of a simple country gentleman, and shook his head sadly. "do you infer that he came by this sword dishonestly, madam?" the dimple quivered and was gone. "sir, i believe that you are playing with me," she said with great dignity. "madam, i am abashed." "i am very glad to hear it, then. i infer that mr. everard was something more than he pretended to be." "in truth, a sorry rogue to deceive a lady." "and i want to know if i am right. is he, perhaps, some grand gentleman?" "i can assure you, madam, that there is very little of the gentleman about mr. everard." miss betty began to laugh. "have done, my dear! 'tis of no avail, and 'tis impolite to press mr. carr too hard." diana pouted. "he is monstrous provoking, i think," she said, and eyed him reproachfully. "i am desolated," mourned jack, but his eyes danced. "and now you are laughing!" "but then, mademoiselle, so are you!" she shook her head, resolutely repressing the dimple. "then i am inconsolable." the brown eyes sparkled and her lips parted in spite of her efforts to keep them in a stern line. "oh, but you are ridiculous!" she cried, and sprang to her feet. "and here is sir miles!" o'hara came across the lawn towards them, bowed to the ladies, and glanced inquiringly from one to the other. "is it a joke ye have?" he asked. diana answered him. "indeed no, sir. 'tis mr. carr who is so provoking." "provoking, is it? and what has he been doing?" "i'll tell you the whole truth, miles," interposed the maligned one. "'tis mistress diana who is so inquisitive!" "oh!" diana blushed furiously "i protest you are unkind, sir!" "sure, 'tis no gentleman he is, at all!" "'twas on the subject of gentlemen that we--" "quarrelled," supplied her aunt. "disagreed," amended his lordship. "disagreed," nodded diana. "i asked him whether mr. everard was not some grand gentleman, and he evaded the point." "i vow 'tis slander!" cried jack. "i merely said that everard was no gentleman at all." "there! and was not that evading the point, sir miles?" "was it? sure, i'm inclined to agree with him." "i declare you are both in league against me!" she cried, with greater truth than she knew. "i mean, was he perhaps a _titled_ gentleman?" "but how should jack know that?" "because i am sure he knows him--or, at least, of him." "listen, mistress di," broke in my lord, shooting a warning glance at o'hara. "i will tell you all about mr. everard, and i hope you will be satisfied with my tale." he paused and seemed to cudgel his brain. "first he is, of course, titled--let me see--yes, he is a duke. oh, he is certainly a duke--and i am not sure but what he is royal--he--" "now you are ridiculous!" cried miss betty. "you are very teasing," said diana, and tried to frown. "first you pretend to know nothing about mr. everard, and then you tell me foolish stories about him. a duke, indeed! i believe you _really_ do know nothing about him!" as carstares had hoped, she refused to believe the truth. "he is playing with ye, child," said o'hara, who had listened to jack's tale with a face of wonder. "i warrant he knows no everard--eh, jack?" "no, i cannot say that i do," laughed his lordship. "but--but--you said--" "never mind what he said, miss di. 'tis a scurvy fellow he is." she regarded him gravely. "indeed, i almost think so." but the dimple peeped out for all that! the next instant it was gone, and diana turned a face of gloom to her aunt, pouting her red lips adorably, so thought my lord. "mr. bettison," she said in accents of despair. at these mystic words, jack saw miss betty frown, and heard her impatient remark: "drat the man!" he looked towards the house, and perceived a short, rather stout, young man to be walking with a peculiar strutting gait towards them. the boy was good-looking, carstares acknowledged to himself, but his eyes were set too close. and he did not like his style. no, certainly he did not like his style, nor the proprietary way in which he kissed diana's hand. "how agreeable it is to see you again, mr. bettison!" said miss betty with much affability. "i declare 'tis an age since we set eyes on you!" "oh, no, aunt," contradicted diana sweetly. "why, it was only a very short while ago that mr. bettison was here, _surely_!" she withdrew the hand that the young man seemed inclined to hold fast to, and turned to john. "i think you do not know mr. bettison, mr. carr?" she said. "mr. bettison, allow me to present you to mr. carr. sir miles i think you know?" the squire bowed with a great deal of stiff hostility. carstares returned the bow. "you will excuse my not rising, i beg," he smiled. "as you perceive--i have had an accident." light dawned on bettison. this was the man who had rescued diana, confound his impudence! "ah, yes, sir! your arm, was it not? my faith, i should be proud of such a wound!" it seemed to carstares that he smiled at diana in a damned familiar fashion, devil take his impudence! "it was indeed a great honour, sir. mistress di, i have finished sorting your green silks." diana sank down on the cushion again, and shook some more strands out on to his knee. "how quick you have been! now we will do the blue ones." bettison glared. this fellow seemed prodigious intimate with diana, devil take him! he sat down beside miss betty, and addressed my lord patronisingly. "let me see--er--mr. carr. have i met you in town, i wonder? at tom's, perhaps?" this country bumpkin _would_ belong to tom's, reflected john savagely, for no reason at all. aloud he said: "i think it extremely unlikely, sir. i have been abroad some years." "oh, indeed, sir? the 'grand tour,' i suppose?" mr. bettison's tone was not the tone of one who supposes any such thing. john smiled. "not this time," he said, "that was seven years ago." mr. bettison had heard rumours of this fellow who, it was murmured, was nought but a common highwayman. "really? after cambridge, perhaps?" "oxford," corrected carstares gently. curse his audacity! thought mr. bettison. "seven years ago--let me think. george must have been on the tour then--selwyn, i mean, miss beauleigh." jack, who had made the tour with several other young bucks fresh down from college, accompanied as far as paris by the famous wit himself, held his peace. mr. bettison then launched forth into anecdotes of his own tour, and seeing that his friend was entirely engrossed with miss diana and her silks, o'hara felt it incumbent on him to draw the enemy's fire, and, taking his own departure, to bear the squire off with him. for which he received a grateful smile from my lord, and a kiss blown from the tips of her fingers from mistress di, with whom he was on the best of terms. chapter xiv mistress diana is unmaidenly the idyllic summer days passed quickly by, and every time that my lord spoke of leaving, the outcry was so indignant and so firm that he hastily subsided and told himself he would stay just another few days. his shoulder, having mended up to a certain point, refused quite to heal, and exertion brought the pain back very swiftly. so his time was for the most part spent with mistress di out of doors, helping her with her gardening and her chickens--for diana was an enthusiastic poultry farmer on a small scale--and ministering to her various pets. if fido had a splinter in his paw, it was to mr. carr that he was taken; if nellie, the spaniel, caught a live rabbit, mr. carr would assuredly know what to do for it, and the same with all the other animals. the young pair grew closer and closer together, while miss betty and o'hara watched from afar, the former filled with pride of her darling, and satisfaction, and the latter with apprehension. o'hara knew that his friend was falling unconsciously in love, and he feared the time when john should realise it. he confided these fears to his wife, who, with young david, was staying at her mother's house in kensington, in a long and very irish letter. she replied that he must try and coax my lord into coming to stay with them, when her charms would at once eclipse mistress diana's, though to be sure, she could not understand why miles should not wish him to fall in love, for as he well knew, 'twas a prodigious pleasant sensation. if he did not know it, then he was indeed most disagreeable. and had he ever heard of anything so wonderful?--david had drawn a picture of a horse! yes, really, it was a horse! was he not a clever child? further, would her dearest miles please come and fetch her home, for although mamma was prodigious amiable, and wanted her to stay several weeks, she positively could not live without her husband an instant longer than was necessary! as soon as o'hara read the last part of the letter he brushed carstares and his love affairs to one side, and posted straight to london to obey the welcome summons. bit by bit my lord discovered that he was very much in love with diana. at first his heart gave a great bound, and then seemed to stop with a sickening thud. he remembered that he could not ask her to marry him, disgraced as he was, and he immediately faced the situation, realising that he must go away at once. his first move was to mr. beauleigh, to tell him of his decision. on being asked why he must so suddenly leave horton house, he explained that he loved diana and could not in honour speak of love to her. at which mr. beauleigh gasped and demanded to know the reason. carstares told him that he was by profession a highwayman, and watched him bridle angrily. before so agreeable and so smiling, mr. beauleigh now became frigidly polite. he quite understood mr. carr's position, and--er--yes, he honoured him for the course on which he had decided. but mr. beauleigh was very, very cold. carstares gave jim orders to pack immediately, that he might depart next day, and reluctantly informed miss betty of his going. she was startled and bewildered. she had imagined that he would spend all june with them. circumstances, he regretted, willed otherwise. he should always remember her great kindness to him, and hoped that she would forgive the brusque nature of his departure. when he told diana her eyes opened very wide and she laughed, pointing an accusing finger at him. "you are teasing, mr. carr!" she cried, and ran into the house. that evening miss betty confirmed jack's words, and seeing the hurt look in the girl's eyes, wisely held her peace. next morning in the pleasaunce diana came across my lord, and went up to him, gravely questioning. "you are really leaving us to-day, mr. carr?" "i am afraid i must, mistress di." "so suddenly? then you were not teasing yesterday?" "no, mademoiselle--i was not. i fear i have tarried too long, taking advantage of your kindness." "oh, no, no!" she assured him. "indeed, you have not! must you _really_ go?" looking down into her big eyes, john read the answering love in them, and grew pale. it was worse to think that she cared, too. if only he thought she was indifferent, parting would not seem so unbearable. "mademoiselle--you overwhelm me--i must go." "oh, but i am sorry. your being here has been such a pleasure! i--" she stopped, and looked away across the flowers. "you?" prompted jack before he could check himself. with a tiny laugh she brought her gaze back. "i am sorry you must leave us, naturally." she sat down beneath an arbour of roses, and patted the place beside her invitingly, with just the same unconscious friendliness that she had always shown him. my lord stayed where he was, with one hand on a tree trunk and the other fidgeting with his quizzing glass. "mistress di--i think it only right that i should tell you what i have told your father, and what i told your aunt some time ago, when she refused to believe me. to some extent i am here under false pretences. i am not what you think me." diana laced and unlaced her fingers, and thought that she understood. "oh, no, mr. carr!" "i am afraid yes, mademoiselle. i am--a common felon ... a highwayman!" he bit the words out, not looking at her. "but i knew that," she said softly. "you _knew_ it?" "why, yes! i remember when you told aunt betty." "you believed me?" "you see," she apologised, "i always wondered why you were masked." "and yet you permitted me to stay--" "how silly of you, mr. carr! of course i do not care what you are! i owe so much to you!" he wheeled round at that, and faced her. "madam, i can bear anything rather than gratitude! is it only that which has made you tolerate me all this time?" her fingers gripped one another. "why, sir--why, sir--" the flame died out of his eyes, and he drew himself up stiffly, speaking with a curtness that surprised her. "i crave your pardon. i should be whipped at the cart-tail for asking such an impertinent question. forget it, i beg." diana looked up at the stern face, half amazed, half affronted. "i do not think i quite understand you, sir." "there is nought to understand, mademoiselle," he answered with dry lips. "'twere merely that i was coxcomb enough to hope that you liked me a little for mine own sake." she glanced again at his averted head with a wistful little smile. "oh!" she murmured. "_oh!_"--and--"it is very dreadful to be a highwayman!" she sighed. "yes, mademoiselle." "but surely you could cease to be one?" coaxingly. he did not trust himself to answer. "i know you could. please do!" "that is not all," he forced himself to say. "there is worse." "_is_ there?" she asked wide-eyed. "what else have you done, mr. carr?" "i--once--" heavens, how hard it was to say! "i once ... cheated ... at cards." it was out. now she would turn from him in disgust. he shut his eyes in anticipation of her scorn, his head turned away. "only _once_?" came the soft voice, filled with awed admiration. his eyes flew open. "mademoiselle--!" she drooped her head mournfully. "i'm afraid i always cheat," she confessed. "i had no idea 'twas so wicked, although auntie gets very cross and vows she will not play with me." he could not help laughing. "'tis not wicked in you, child. you do not play for money." "oh, did you?" "yes, child." "then that _was_ horrid of you," she agreed. he stood silent, fighting the longing to tell her the truth. "but--but--do not look so solemn, sir," the pleading voice went on. "i am sure you must have had a very strong excuse?" "none." "and now you are letting it spoil your life?" she asked reproachfully. "it does not wait for my permission," he answered bitterly. "ah, but what a pity! must one moment's indiscretion interfere with all else in life? that is ridiculous. you have--what is the word?--expiated! yes, that is it--expiated it, i know." "the past can never be undone, madam." "that, of course, is true," she nodded, with the air of a sage, "but it can be forgotten." his hand flew out eagerly and dropped back to his side. it was hopeless. he could not tell her the truth and ask her to share his disgrace; he must bear it alone, and, above all, he must not whine. he had chosen to take richard's blame and he must abide by the consequences. it was not a burden to be cast off as soon as it became too heavy for him. it was for ever--for ever. he forced his mind to grasp that fact. all through his life he must be alone against the world; his name would never be cleared; he could never ask this sweet child who sat before him with such a wistful, pleading look on her lovely face, to wed him. he looked down at her sombrely, telling himself that she did not really care: that it was his own foolish imagination. now she was speaking: he listened to the liquid voice that repeated: "could it not be forgotten?" "no, mademoiselle. it will always be there." "to all intents and purposes, might it not be forgotten?" she persisted. "it will always stand in the way, mademoiselle." he supposed that mechanical voice was his own. through his brain thrummed the thought: "it is for dick's sake ... for dick's sake. for dick's sake you must be silent." resolutely he pulled himself together. "it will stand in the way--of what?" asked diana. "i can never ask a woman to be my wife," he replied. diana wantonly stripped a rose of its petals, letting each fragrant leaf flutter slowly to the ground. "i do not see why you cannot, sir." "no woman would share my disgrace." "no?" "no." "you seem very certain, mr. carr. pray have you asked the lady?" "no, madam." carstares was as white as she was red, but he was holding himself well in hand. "then--" the husky voice was very low, "then--why don't you?" the slim hand against the tree trunk was clenched tightly, she observed. in his pale face the blue eyes burnt dark. "because, madam, 'twere the action of a--of a--" "of a what, mr. carr?" "a cur! a scoundrel! a blackguard!" another rose was sharing the fate of the first. "i have heard it said that some women like--curs, and-and--and scoundrels; even blackguards," remarked that provocative voice. through her lashes its owner watched my lord's knuckles gleam white against the tree-bark. "not the lady i love, madam." "oh? but are you sure?" "i am sure. she must marry a man whose honour is spotless; who is not--a nameless outcast, and who lives--not--by dice--and highway robbery." he knew that the brown eyes were glowing and sparkling with unshed tears, but he kept his own turned inexorably the other way. there was no doubting now that she cared, and that she knew that he did also. he could not leave her to think that her love had been slighted. she must not be hurt, but made to understand that he could not declare his love. but how hard it was, with her sorrowful gaze upon him and the pleading note in her voice. it was quivering now: "must she, sir?" "yes, madam." "but supposing--supposing the lady did not care? supposing she--loved you--and was willing to share your disgrace?" the ground at her feet was strewn with crimson petals, and all around and above her roses nodded and swayed. a tiny breeze was stirring her curls and the lace of her frock, but john would not allow himself to look, lest the temptation to catch her in his arms should prove too great for him. she was ready to give herself to him; to face anything, only to be with him. in the plainest language she offered herself to him, and he had to reject her. "it is inconceivable that the lady would sacrifice herself in such a fashion, madam," he said. "sacrifice!" she caught her breath. "you call it that!" "what else?" "i ... i ... i do not think that you are very wise, mr. carr. nor ... that you ... understand women ... very well. she might not call it by that name." "it would make no difference what she called it, madam. she would ruin her life, and that must never be." a white rose joined its fallen brethren, pulled to pieces by fingers that trembled pitifully. "mr. carr, if the lady ... loved you ... is it quite fair to her--to say nothing?" there was a long silence, and then my lord lied bravely. "i hope that she will--in time--forget me," he said. diana sat very still. no more roses were destroyed; the breeze wafted the fallen petals over her feet, lightly, almost playfully. somewhere in the hedge a bird was singing, a full-throated sobbing plaint, and from all around came an incessant chirping and twittering. the sun sent its bright rays all over the garden, bathing it in gold and happiness; but for the two in the pleasaunce the light had gone out, and the world was very black. "i see," whispered diana at last. "poor lady!" "i think it was a cursed day that saw me come into her life," he groaned. "perhaps it was," her hurt heart made answer. he bowed his head. "i can only hope that she will not think too hardly of me," he said, very low. "and that she will find it in her heart to be sorry--for me--also." she rose and came up to him, her skirts brushing gently over the grass, holding out her hands imploringly. "mr. carr...." he would not allow himself to look into the gold-flecked eyes.... he must remember dick--his brother dick! in his hand he took the tips of her fingers, and bowing, kissed them. then he turned on his heel and strode swiftly away between the hedges towards the quiet woods, with a heart aflame with passion, and with rebellion and impotent fury. he would go somewhere quite alone and fight the devil that was prompting him to cry the truth aloud and to throw aside his burden for love, forgetting duty. but diana remained standing among the scattered flowers, very still, very cold, with a look of hopeless longing in her eyes and a great hurt. chapter xv o'hara's mind is made up jim salter folded one of my lord's waistcoats, and placed it carefully in an open valise; then he picked up a coat, and spread it on the bed preparatory to folding it in such wise that no crease should afterwards mar its smoothness. all about him my lord's clothing was strewn; mechlin ruffles and cravats adorned one chair, silk hose another; gorgeous coats hung on their backs; shoes of every description, red-heeled and white, riding boots and slippers, stood in a row awaiting attention; wigs perched coquettishly on handy projections, and piles of white cambric shirts peeped out from an almost finished bag. jim laid the coat tenderly in the valise, coaxing it into decorous folds, and wondering at the same time where his master was. he had been out all the morning, and on his return had looked so ill that jim had been worried, and wished that they were not leaving horton house quite so soon. a little while ago my lord had been closeted with his host; jim supposed he must still be there. he reached out his hand for another waistcoat, but before his fingers had touched it, he stopped, and lifted his head, listening. hasty, impetuous footsteps sounded on the stairs, and came furiously along the corridor. the door was twisted open, and my lord stood on the threshold. jim scanned the tired face anxiously, and noted with a sinking heart that the blue eyes were blazing and the fine lips set in a hard, uncompromising line. the slender hand gripping the door-handle twitched in a way that jim knew full well; evidently my lord was in an uncertain mood. "have you finished?" rapped out carstares. "not quite, sir." "i wish to leave this year and not next, if 'tis all the same to you!" "yes, sir. i didn't know you was in a hurry, sir." there was no reply to this. my lord advanced into the room and cast one glance at his scattered baggage and another all round him. "where is my riding dress?" jim shivered in his luckless shoes. "i--er--'tis packed, sir. do ye want it?" "of course i want it! do you suppose that i am going to ride in what i have on?" "i rather thought ye were driving, your honour." "i am not. the scarlet suit at once, please." he flung himself down in a chair before his dressing-table and picked up a nail-file. salter eyed his reflection in the glass dismally, and made no movement to obey. after a moment my lord swung round. "well! what are you standing there for? didn't you hear me?" "ay, sir, i did, but--your pardon, sir--but do ye think 'tis wise to ride to-day for--for the first time?" the file slammed down on to the table. "i am riding to horley this afternoon!" said his master dangerously. "'tis a matter of fifteen miles or so, your honour. hadn't ye better--" "damn you, jim, be quiet!" salter gave it up. "very well, sir," he said, and unearthed the required dress. "i'll see the baggage goes by coach, and saddle the mare and peter." "not peter. you go in the coach." "no, sir." "_what!_" my lord stared at him. there had been a note of finality in the respectful tone. my lord became icy. "you forget yourself, salter." "i ask your pardon, sir." "you will travel in charge of my things, as usual." jim compressed his lips, and stowed a shoe away in one corner of the bag. "you understand me?" "i understand ye well enough, sir." "then that is settled." "no, sir." my lord dropped his eye-glass. "what the devil do you mean--'no, sir'?" "i ask your pardon, sir, an i presume, but i can't and won't let ye ride alone with your wound but just healed." there was not a hint of defiance or impertinence in the quiet voice, but it held a great determination. "you won't, eh? do you imagine i am a child?" "no, sir." "or unable to take care of myself?" "i think ye are weaker than ye know, sir." "oh, you do, do you?" jim came up to him. "ye'll let me ride with ye, sir? i won't trouble ye, and i can ride behind, but i can't let ye go alone. ye might faint--sir--" "i can assure you i am not like to be a pleasant companion!" said carstares with a savage little laugh. "why, sir, i understand there's something troubling ye. will ye let me come?" my lord scowled up at him, then relented suddenly. "as you please." "thank ye, sir." salter returned to his packing, cording one bag and placing it near the door, and quickly filling another. the piles of linen grew steadily smaller until they disappeared, and he retired into a cupboard to reappear with a great armful of coats and small-clothes. for a long while my lord sat silent staring blankly before him. he walked to the window and stood with his back to the room, looking out, then he turned and came back to his chair. jim, watching him covertly, noted that the hard glitter had died out of his eyes, and that he looked wearier than ever. carstares studied his nails for a moment in silence. presently he spoke: "jim." "yes, sir?" "i shall be--going abroad again shortly." if carstares had remarked that it was a fine day the man could not have shown less surprise. "shall we, sir?" john looked across at him, smiling faintly. "you'll come, jim?" "i would go anywhere with ye, sir." "and what about that little girl at fittering?" salter blushed and stammered hopelessly. "my dear fellow, since when have i been blind? did you think i did not know?" "why, sir--well, sir--er--yes, sir!" "of course i knew! can you leave her to come with me?" "i couldn't leave ye to stay with her, sir." "are you sure? i do not want you to come against your inclinations." "women ain't everything, sir." "are they not? i think they are ... a great deal," said my lord wistfully. "i'm mighty fond o' mary, but she knows i must go with you." "does she? but is it quite fair to her? and i believe i am not minded to drag you 'cross continent again." "ye won't leave me behind, sir? ye couldn't do that! sir-ye're never thinking of going by yourself? i--i--i won't let ye!" "i am afraid i cannot spare you. but if you should change your mind, tell me. is it a promise?" "ay, sir. if i _should_ change my mind." salter's smile was grimly sarcastic. "i am selfish enough to hope you'll not change. i think no one else would bear with my vile temper as you do. help me out of this coat, will you?" "i'll never change, sir. and as to tempers--as if i minded!" "no. you are marvellous. my breeches. thanks." he shed his satin small-clothes, and proceeded to enter into white buckskins. "not those boots, jim, the other pair." he leaned against the table as he spoke, drumming his fingers on a chair-back. a knock fell on the door, at which he frowned and signed to jim, who walked across and opened it, slightly. "is your master here?" inquired a well-known voice, and at the sound of it my lord's face lighted up, and salter stood aside. "come in, miles!" the big irishman complied and cast a swift glance round the disordered room. he raised his eyebrows at sight of jack's riding boots and looked inquiringly across at him. my lord pushed a chair forward with his foot. "sit down, man! i thought you were in london?" "i was. i brought molly home yesterday, the darlint, and i heard that ye were leaving here this afternoon." "ah?" "and as i'm not going to let ye slip through me fingers again, i thought i would come and make sure of ye. ye are a deal too slippery, jack." "yet i was coming to see you again whatever happened." "of course. ye are coming now--to stay." "oh no!" o'hara placed his hat and whip on the table, and stretched his legs with a sigh. "sure, 'tis stiff i am! jim, i've a chaise outside for the baggage, so ye may take it down as soon as may be." "leave it where it is, jim. miles, 'tis monstrous good of you, but--" "keep your buts to yourself, jack. me mind's made up." "and so is mine! i really cannot--" "me good boy, ye are coming to stay with us until ye are recovered, if i have to knock ye senseless and then carry ye!" the lightning smile flashed into jack's eyes. "how ferocious! but pray do not be ridiculous over a mere scratch. recovered, indeed!" "ye still look ill. nay, jack, take that frown off your face; 'tis of no avail, i am determined." the door closed softly behind jim as carstares shook his head. "i can't, miles. you must see 'tis impossible." "pooh! no one who comes to thurze house knows ye or anything about ye. ye need not see a soul, but come ye must!" "but, miles--" "jack, don't be a fool! i want ye, and so does molly. 'tis no trap, so ye need not look so scared." "i'm not. indeed, i am very grateful, but--i cannot. i am going abroad almost at once." "what?" "yes. i mean it." o'hara sat up. "so it has come! i knew it would!" "what mean you?" "ye've found out that ye love mistress di." "nonsense!" "and she you." jack looked at him. "oh, ay! i'm a tactless oaf, i know, and me manners are atrocious to be for trying to break through the barriers ye've put up round yourself. but, i tell ye, jack, it hurts to be kept at the end of a pole! i don't want to force your confidence, but for god's sake don't be treating me as if i were a stranger!" "i beg your pardon, miles. it's confoundedly hard to confide in anyone after six years' solitude." he struggled into his coat as he spoke, and settled his cravat. "if you want to know the whole truth, 'tis because of diana that i am going." "of course. ye are in love with her?" "it rather points that way, does it not?" "then why the divil don't ye ask her to marry ye?" "why don't i ask her? because i will not offer her a smirched name! because i love her so much that--" he broke off with a shaky, furious laugh. "how can you ask me such a question? i am a desirable _parti, hein? nom d'un nom_! for what do you take me?" o'hara looked up, calmly studying the wrathful countenance. "chivalrous young fool," he drawled. again the short, angry laugh. "it is so likely that i should ask her to marry me, is it not? 'mademoiselle, you see in me an improvident fool: i began life by cheating at cards, and since then--' oh, i shall believe it myself ere long! i seem to have told it to so many people. and i lay myself open to the impertinences of--" he checked himself, thinking of the interview downstairs with mr. beauleigh. "rubbish, jack." "'tis not rubbish. i have one recommendation--only one." "faith, have ye as much? what is it?" my lord laughed bitterly. "i dress rather well." "and fence better, as far as i remember." "i have reason to. that is but another point to damn me. what woman would marry a fencing-master? oh, my god! what a mess i have made of my life." he tried to laugh and failed miserably. "i rather fancy mistress di would." "she will not be asked thus to demean herself," was the proud answer. "my dear jack, ye forget ye are the earl of wyncham." "a pretty earl! no thank you, miles. richard's son will be earl--no son of mine." o'hara brought his fist down on the table with a crash. "damn richard and his son!" my lord picked up a jewelled pin and, walking to the glass, proceeded to fasten it in his cravat. the other followed him with smouldering eyes. "retired into your shell again?" he growled. carstares, with his head slightly on one side, considered the effect of the pin. then he came back to his friend. "my dear miles, the long and short of it is that i am an unreasonable grumbler. i made my bed, and i suppose i must-on it." "and will ye be afther telling me who helped ye in the making of it?" carstares sat down and started to pull on one boot. "i foresee we shall be at one another's throats ere long," he prophesied cheerfully. "did i tell you that i informed mr. beauleigh of my--er--profession to-day?" miles forgot his anger in surprise. "ye never told him ye were a highwayman?" he cried. "yes, i did. why not?" "why not? why wot? god help us all! are ye daft, man? do ye intend to tell every other person ye meet what ye are? bedad, 'tis mad ye are entirely!" carstares sighed. "i was afraid you would not understand." "'twould take a wizard to understand ye! another chivalrous impulse, i doubt not?" "chiv--! no. it is just that i could not let him think me an honourable gentleman. he took it well, on the whole, and is now frigidly polite." "polite! i should hope so! the ould scarecrow, after ye'd saved his daughter on him, too! and 'twas he made ye so furious?" carstares laughed. "he and myself. you see--he--lectured me--oh! quite kindly--on the error of my ways, and--it hurt." "'tis as well ye are coming to me then, the way things are with ye at present." my lord opened his mouth to speak, encountered a fiery glance, and shut it again. "anything to say?" inquired o'hara with a threatening gleam in his eye. "no, sir," replied jack meekly. "ye will come?" "please." o'hara sprang up joyfully. "good lad! lud! but i was afraid at one time--put on your other boot while i go and look for that rascal of yours!" he hurried out of the room to find jim, who, having foreseen the result of the contest, was already stowing the luggage away on the chaise. half-an-hour later, his _adieux_ made, jim and the baggage following, my lord rode out with o'hara on his way to thurze house. for some time there was silence between the two men, with only a perfunctory remark or two on the fineness of the day and the freshness of the mare to break it. carstares' mind was, as his friend well knew, dwelling on all that he had left behind him. his parting with diana had been quite ordinary, she at least making no sign that he was anything beyond a chance acquaintance; indeed, it had almost seemed to him that her attitude was slightly aloof, as if she had drawn a little into herself. her hand when he had kissed it had been lifeless and cold, her smile sweetly remote. he knew that he had held the hand a fraction of a minute longer than was strictly in accordance with the rules of good manners, and he feared that he had clasped it in most unseemly wise, pressing it hard against his lips. he wondered whether she had remarked it. he little guessed that long after he had ridden out of sight, she continued to feel that pressure. if he could have seen her passionately kissing each finger separately for fear her lips might pass over the exact spot his had touched, his heart might have been lighter. it was true that she had retired into her shell, a little hurt at what she termed his man's blind obstinacy. she had laid her heart bare for him to read; she had offered herself to him as plainly as if she had spoken in terms less general than in the pleasaunce; she had fought desperately for her happiness, thrusting aside all thought of maiden modesty, and when she afterwards had realised what she had done, and tried to imagine what he must think of her, she had blushed dark, and mentally flayed herself for her lack of proper pride and manners. terrified that he might think her immodest, overwhelmed with sudden shyness, she had been colder in her attitude towards him, than she had intended, even in her anxiety not to appear forward. but in spite of her coldness, how intensely had she hoped that he would sense her love and all that she wanted him to know! incomprehensible the ways of women! not endowed with feminine perspicacity or intuition, how could john hope to understand her dual feelings? he only knew that he had hurt her, and that she had drawn back that she might not lay herself open to more. he could not hope to understand her when she did not fully understand herself. reflecting on the swiftness with which love had come to them, he believed that with a like swiftness it might fade, at least from diana's memory. he told himself that he hoped for that end, but he was honest enough to know that it was the last thing in the world he wanted. the mere thought of diana indifferent to him, or worse, another man's bride, made him bite on his underlip and tighten his hold on the rein. o'hara cast many a surreptitious glance at the stern young profile beside him, wondering whether his lordship would last out the tedious ride or no. he knew enough of carstares' indomitable courage to believe that he would, but he feared that it would prove too great a strain on him in his present weakened condition. very wisely he made no attempt to draw carstares out of his abstraction, but continued to push on in silence, past fields knee-deep in grass, soon to be hay, with sorrel and poppies growing apace, along lanes with hedges high above their heads on either side, over hill and down dale--always in silence. presently o'hara fell a little to the rear that he might study his friend without palpably turning to do so. he thought he had never seen jack's face wear such a black look. the fine brows almost met over his nose with only two sharp furrows to separate them; the mouth was compressed, the chin a little prominent, and the eyes, staring ahead between jenny's nervous ears, seemed to see all without absorbing anything. one hand at his hip was clenched on his riding-whip, the other mechanically guided the mare. o'hara found himself admiring the lithe grace of the man, with his upright carriage and splendid seat. suddenly, as if aware that he was being studied, my lord half turned his head and met o'hara's eyes. he gave a tiny shrug and with it seemed to throw off his oppression. the frown vanished, and he smiled. "i beg your pardon, miles. i am a surly fellow." "mayhap your shoulder troubles you," suggested o'hara tactfully. "n-no, i am barely conscious of it. i've no excuse beyond bad manners and a worse temper." from thence onward he set himself to entertain his friend, and if his laugh was sometimes rather forced, at least his wit was enough to keep o'hara in a pleasurable state of amusement for some miles. by the time they arrived at thurze house, carstares was suspiciously white about the mouth, and there was once more a furrow--this time of pain--between his brows. but he was able to greet my lady o'hara with fitting elegance and to pay her at least three neat, laughing compliments before o'hara took him firmly by the arm and marched him to his room, there to rest and recover before the dinner hour. shortly after, jim arrived, highly contented with his new surroundings, and able to give a satisfactory verdict on jenny's stalling. he had quite accepted o'hara as a friend, after some jealous qualms, and was now well pleased that his master should be in his house instead of roaming the countryside. at five o'clock, as the gong rang, my lord descended the stairs resplendent in old gold and silver trimmings, determined to be as gay and light-hearted as the occasion demanded, as though there had never been a diana to upset the whole course of a man's life. not for nothing had he fought against the world for six long years. their teaching had been to hide all feeling beneath a perpetual mask of nonchalance and wit; never for an instance to betray a hurt, and never to allow it to appear that he was anything but the most care-free of men. the training stood him in good stead now, and even o'hara wondered to see him in such spirits after all that had passed. lady molly was delighted with her guest, admiring his appearance, his fine, courtly manners, and falling an easy victim to his charm. o'hara, watching them, saw with content that his capricious little wife was really attracted to my lord. it was a high honour, for she was hard to please, and many of o'hara's acquaintances had been received, if not with actual coldness, at least not with any degree of warmth. at the end of the meal she withdrew with the warning that they were not to sit too long over their wine, and that miles was not to fatigue his lordship. o'hara pushed the decanter towards his friend. "i've a piece of news i daresay will interest ye!" he remarked. carstares looked at him inquiringly. "ay. 'tis that his grace of andover has withdrawn his precious person to paris." carstares raised one eyebrow. "i suppose he would naturally wish to remain in the background after our little fracas." "does he ever wish to be in the background?" "you probably know him better than i do. does he?" "he does not. 'tis always in front he is, mighty prominent. damn him!" my lord was faintly surprised. "why that? has he ever interfered with you?" "he has interfered with me best friend to some purpose." "i fear the boot was on the other leg!" "well, i know something of how he interferes with dick." carstares put down his glass, all attention now. "with dick? how?" o'hara seemed to regret having spoken "oh, well--i've no sympathy with _him_." "what has tracy done to him?" "'tis nothing of great moment. merely that he and that worthless brother of his seek to squeeze him dry." "robert?" "andrew. i know very little of robert." "andrew! but he was a child--" "well, he's grown up now, and as rakish a young spendthrift as ye could wish for. dick seems to pay their debts." "devil take him! why?" "heaven knows! i suppose lavinia insists. we all knew that 'twas for that reason tracy flung you both in her way." "nonsense! we went of our own accord. she had but returned from school." "exactly. and whose doing was that but tracy's?" carstares opened his eyes rather wide and leant both arms on the table, crooking his fingers round the stem of his wine glass. "do the debts amount to much?" "i can't tell ye that. 'twas but by chance i found it out at all. the belmanoirs were never moderate in their manner of living." "nor were any of us. don't be so hard on them, miles!... i knew, of course, that the belmanoir estate was mortgaged, but i did not guess to what extent." "i don't know that either, but dick's money does not go to pay it off. 'tis all frittered away on gambling and pretty women." my lord's brow darkened ominously. "ye-s. i think i shall have a little score to settle with tracy on that subject--some day." miles said nothing. "but how does dick manage without touching my money?" "i do not know." o'hara's tone implied that he cared less. "i hope he is not in debt himself," mused carstares, "'tis like enough he is in some muddle. i wish i might persuade him to accept the revenue." he frowned and drummed his fingers on the table. o'hara exploded. "sure, 'twould be like you to be doing the same. let the man alone for the lord's sake, and don't be after worrying your head over a miserable spalpeen that did ye more harm than--" "miles, i cannot allow you to speak so of dick! you do not understand." "i understand well enough. 'tis too christian ye are entirely. and let us have an end of this farce of yours! i know that dick cheated as well as you do, and i say 'tis unnatural for you to be wanting him to take your money after he's done you out of honour and all else!" carstares sipped his wine quietly, waiting for miles' anger to evaporate, as it presently did, leaving him to glower balefully. then he started to laugh. "oh, miles, let me go my own road! i'm a sore trial to you, i know." then suddenly sobering: "but i want you not to think so hardly of dick. you know enough of him to understand a little how it all came about. you know how extravagant he was and how often in debt--can you not pardon the impulse of a mad moment?" "that i could pardon. what i cannot forgive is his--unutterable meanness in letting you bear the blame." "o'hara, he was in love with lavinia--" "so were you." "not so deeply. with me 'twas a boy's passion, but with him 'twas serious." o'hara remained silent, his mouth unusually hard. "put yourself in his place," pleaded jack. "if you--" "thank you!" o'hara laughed unpleasantly. "no, jack, we shall not agree on this subject, and we had best leave it alone. i do not think you need worry about him, though. i believe he is not in debt." "does he have fair luck with his racing and his--" o'hara smiled grimly. "dick is a very changed man, john. he does not keep racehorses, neither does he play cards, save for appearance's sake." "dick not play! what then does he do?" "manages your estates and conducts his wife to routs. when in town," bitterly, "he inhabits your house." "well, there is none else to use it. but i cannot imagine dick turned sober!" "'tis easy to be righteous after the evil is done, i'm thinking!" my lord ignored this remark. a curious smile played about his mouth. "egad, miles, 'tis very entertaining! i, the erstwhile sober member--what is the matter?--am now the profligate: i dice, i gamble, i rob. dick the ne'er-do-weel is a saint. he--er--lives a godly and righteous life, and--er--is robbed by his wife's relations. after all, i do not think i envy him overmuch." "at least, you enjoy life more than he does," said o'hara, grinning. "for ye have no conscience to reckon with." carstares' face was inscrutable. he touched his lips with his napkin and smiled. "as you say, i enjoy life the more--but as to conscience, i do not think it is that." o'hara glanced at him sitting sideways in his chair, one arm flung over its back. "will ye be offended if i ask ye a question?" "of course not." "then--do ye intend to go back to this highroad robbery?" "i do not." "what then will you do?" the shadows vanished, and my lord laughed. "to tell you the truth, miles, i've not yet settled that point. fate will decide--not i." chapter xvi mr. bettison proposes mr. bettison could make nothing of diana of late. her demeanour, at first so charming and so cheerful, had become listless, and even chilling. she seemed hardly to listen to some of his best tales, and twice she actually forgot to laugh at what was surely a most witty pleasantry. it struck him that she regarded him with a resentful eye, as if she objected to his presence at horton house, and had no desire to be courted. but mr. bettison was far too egotistic to believe such a thing, and he brushed the incredible suspicion away, deciding that her coldness was due to a very proper shyness. he continued his visits until they became so frequent that scarce a day passed without his strutting step being heard approaching the house and his voice inquiring for the miss beauleighs. mr. beauleigh, who secretly hoped for mr. bettison as a son-in-law, would not permit the ladies to deny themselves, and he further counselled miss betty to absent herself after the first few moments, leaving the young couple together. thus it was that it so continually fell to diana's lot to receive the squire and to listen to his never-ending monologues. she persistently snubbed him, hoping to ward off the impending proposal, but either her snubs were not severe enough, or mr. bettison's skin was too thick to feel them; for not a fortnight after my lord's departure, he begged her hand in marriage. it was refused him with great firmness, but, taking the refusal for coquettishness, he pressed his suit still more amorously, and with such a self-assured air that mistress di became indignant. "sir," she cried, "it seems you have indeed misread my attitude towards you!" mr. bettison was struck dumb with amazement. it had never entered his brain that diana could seriously refuse him. he could hardly believe his ears at this quite unmistakable tone of voice, and sat gaping. "i must beg," continued diana, "i must beg that you will discontinue your all-too-frequent visits here. please do not deem me unkind, but your persecution of me--i can call it nothing else--is wearying--and--you will forgive the word--tiresome. i confess i am surprised that you had not perceived your attentions to be distasteful to me." "distasteful!" cried mr. bettison, recovering after two or three unsuccessful attempts from his speechlessness. "do you mean what you say, miss diana? that you will not wed me?" she nodded. "yes, mr. bettison, i do." "and that my attentions are displeasing to you! well, miss beauleigh! well, indeed!" diana softened a little. "i am indeed sorry that you should have misconstrued--" "no misconstruction, madam!" snapped the squire, who was fast losing control over his temper. "do you dare aver that you did not encourage me to visit you?" "i do, most emphatically!" "oh, i see what 'tis! you cannot hoodwink me. 'twas never thus with you before that fellow came!" "mr. bettison, i am entirely at a loss, but i desire you to leave this room before you say aught you may afterwards regret." he disregarded her. "you are infatuated by that over-dressed popinjay--that insufferable carr, who, from all i hear, is but a shady fellow, and who--" with a sweeping movement diana had risen and walked to the bell-rope. she now pulled it with such vigour that a great peal sounded throughout the house. she stood perfectly still, a statue of disdain, tall, beautiful and furious, with compressed lips and head held high. mr. bettison broke off and mopped his brow, glaring at her. startled thomas appeared at the door. "did you ring, madam?" "show mr. bettison out," was the proud answer. the squire got up awkwardly. "i am sure i apologise if i said aught that was untrue," he mumbled. "i hope you will not take my words amiss--" "i shall try to forget your insults, sir," she replied. "the door, thomas!" mr. bettison went out, and his step had lost some of its self-confident swagger. for a full minute after the great front door had shut behind him, diana stood where she was, and then the colour suddenly flamed in her cheeks, and she turned and ran out of the room, up the stairs, to her own chamber, where she indulged in a luxurious fit of crying. from this enjoyable occupation she was interrupted by a rap on the door, and miss betty's voice desiring to know if she was within. she instantly started up and with hasty fingers straightened her tumbled curls. "pray enter!" she called, trying to sound jaunty. to complete the illusion, she started to hum. her aunt entered. "i came to see if you had my broidery. i cannot find it, and i am sure 'twas you brought it in from the garden this morning." "yes--oh, yes--i am so sorry! 'tis in that corner on the chair, i think," replied diana, keeping her face averted. miss betty cast a shrewd glance at her, and sat down on the sofa with the air of one who means to stay. "what is it, my love?" she demanded. diana pretended to search for something in a cupboard. "nothing, aunt! what should there be?" "i do not know. 'tis what i want to find out," answered miss betty placidly. "there is nought amiss, i assure you!" to prove the truth of this statement, diana essayed a laugh. it was a poor attempt, and wavered pitifully into a sob. "my pet, don't tell me! you are crying!" "i--i'm n-not!" avowed diana, hunting wildly for her pocket-handkerchief. "'tis a cold in the head i have had these three days." "indeed, my love? longer than that, i fear." "yes--perhaps so--i--what do you mean?" "i doubt but what you caught it the day that mr. carr left us." diana started. "p-pray, do not be ridiculous, auntie!" "no, my dear. come and sit beside me and tell me all about it," coaxed miss betty. diana hesitated, gave a damp sniff, and obeyed. miss betty drew her head down on to her shoulder soothingly. "there, there! don't cry, my sweet! what has happened?" "'tis that odious mr. bettison!" sobbed diana "he--he had the audacity to ask me to m-marry him!" "you don't say so, my love! i thought i heard him arrive. so you sent him about his business?" "n-not before he had time to insult m-me!" "insult you? di!" "he--he dared to insinuate--oh no! he accused me outright--of being infatuated by mr. carr! infatuated!" over her head miss betty opened her eyes at her own reflection in the glass. "the brute! but, of course, 'tis true?" no answer. "is it not?" the sobs came faster. "of--of course 'tis true, but h-how dared he say so?" "di, my love, you really are in love with that boy?" "i--i--i asked him to marry me--and he wouldn't!" "good gracious heavens!" miss betty was genuinely horrified. "my dear diana!" "n-not outright--b-but he understood--and--he loves me! and i'd do it again to-morrow, if i could--immodest or no! so there!" "yes, yes," soothed miss betty hastily. "tell me all about it." diana lifted her head. "that's all. and he loves me--he does--he does!" "did he say so?" "n-no--but i could tell. and i love him"--sob--"and i'd sooner die than live without him, and he won't ask me b-because he has not got a spotless p-past, and he'd be a cur, and horrid things, and my husband must not be an--an--outcast, and-and--and i don't care!" her bewildered aunt unravelled this with difficulty. "he'd be a cur if he asked you to marry him?" she asked, with knitted brows. "yes. because he's a highwayman." "a highwayman! then 'twas true what he said? well, well! i should never have thought it! that nice boy!" diana disengaged herself; in her eyes was a threatening gleam. "don't dare say a word against him!" "no, no--of course not! i was only surprised. but i am thankfully glad he did not ask you, for all that!" "glad? how can you be so cruel?" "my dear, you could not possibly marry--a--a--" "common felon!" sobbed diana. "i can--i can!" "and heaven alone knows what else he may have done! why, child, he said himself that he had a--a spotty past!" at this her niece gave a tearful giggle. "la! what ails you now, di?" "h-he never said--spotty." miss betty smiled reluctantly. "a doubtful past, then." "i don't believe it!" her aunt pursed up her lips. "i won't believe it. he couldn't be wicked. you forget he saved me!" miss betty relented. "no, i do not, my love; and, to be sure, i think he is a dear boy, but i also think 'twas very right of him to go away." she was enveloped in a rapturous embrace. "auntie, you know you love him almost as much as i do?" "no, that i do not!" was the grim retort. "_i_ am not like to want to marry him!" there was another watery giggle at this, and diana went over to the dressing-table to tidy her hair. "i doubt i shall never see him again," she said wretchedly. "oh, auntie, if you could but have seen his dear, unhappy eyes!" "stuff and nonsense! not see him again, forsooth! he will call upon us in town. 'tis but common politeness." "you forget he is a highwayman, and not like to come nigh us again." "well, my dear, if he cares for you as you say he does, he will see to it that he takes up some decent occupation. mayhap, he will go into the army, or what not. then wait and see if he does not come to you." "do you think so?" doubtfully. "of course i do, sweetheart! and if he does not try to mend his ways, and you see him no more--why then, snap your fingers at him, my love, for he will not be worth one tear!" diana sighed and poured out some water to bathe her face with. "is not that sensible?" coaxed her aunt. she raised her head and looked unutterable scorn. "i think 'tis remarkable silly," she answered. then her dignity fell from her. "oh, are all men such big stupids?" she cried. "most of 'em," nodded her aunt. "but can't he tell that i shall be--oh, so miserable, and that i should not ruin my life if i married him?" "my dear, once a man gets an idea into his head, 'tis the very devil to get it out of him! not but what i think master jack is right, mind you. and your dear papa and i had looked higher for you. after all--what is mr. carr?" "he is the only man i will ever marry! so you may cease looking higher for me! i suppose you want me to marry that great gaby, sir denis fabian, you are for ever inviting to the house? or, perhaps, this gallant mr. bettison? or mr. everard? how _can_ you be so unkind?" "i am not. but i could not bear to see you throw yourself away on a highwayman, my dear." diana ran to her, putting her arms round her neck. "dearest auntie, forgive my rudeness! i know you did not mean to be unkind! but you do not understand--i _love_ him." "i always said you'd take it badly," nodded miss betty gloomily. "take what badly?" "love. and no man is worth one tear-drop, sweet." the confident, tender little laugh that answered this statement made her look at her suddenly changed niece in surprise. "you don't know," said diana. her eyes were soft and luminous. "you just do not know." before miss betty could think of a suitable retort, a knock fell on the door. it was opened, and thomas was found to be without. "my lady o'hara is below, madam." for an instant the two ladies stared at one another. then: "la and drat!" said miss betty. "with the drawing-room in a muddle after cleaning!" diana nodded to the man. "we will come, thomas." then as soon as he had withdrawn, she stared again at her aunt. "lady o'hara! but why?" "i suppose she felt she must call after sir miles had been here so often. but why, for goodness' sake, must she choose the one day that the drawing-room is all untidy? drat again, i say!" diana was powdering her little nose, and anxiously looking to see if the tear-stains had quite vanished. "'tis not untidy, aunt betty. oh, i am quite eager to see her--i think she must be charming, from all sir miles said. do hurry, aunt!" miss betty stuck a pin into her hair and smoothed out her dress. "and me in this old taffeta!" she grumbled. diana swirled round, her own peach-coloured silk rustling fashionably. "never mind, dear--you look very sweet. but _do_ be quick!" miss betty suffered herself to be led to the door. "'tis all very fine for you, my love, with a new gown fresh on to-day! will you just take a look at my petticoat, though?" "nonsense, you are beautiful! come!" together they descended the stairs, and went into the drawing-room. a dainty, very diminutive little lady arose from a chair at their entry, and came forward with outstretched hands, and such a fascinating smile that miss betty's ill-humour vanished, and she responded to her visitor's deep curtsy with one of her best jerky dips. "i am vastly delighted to welcome you, madam," she said primly. "'tis good in you to come this long way to see us." she drew a chair forward for my lady, and presented her niece. lady o'hara gave the girl a swift, scrutinising glance, and curtsied again. "'tis a great pleasure to me to meet you at last, miss beauleigh," she smiled. "my husband has told me so much of you, i declare i was all agog to meet you!" diana warmed instantly to the little lady's charm. "indeed, madam, we, too, have heard much of you from sir miles. _we_ have wanted to meet _you_!" lady o'hara seated herself and nodded briskly. "i expect he told you some dreadful tales of me," she said happily. "i must ask your pardon for not having visited you before, but, as i daresay you know, i have been away, and, gracious me, when i returned everything seemed topsy-turvy!" she laughed across at miss betty. "i promise you i have had my hands full putting things to rights, miss beauleigh!" miss betty drew her chair closer, and in a minute they were deep in truly feminine conversation: the prodigious extravagance of the servants; the helplessness of men-folk when left to themselves, and then london, its shops, its parks, the newest play. lady o'hara was begged to take a dish of miss betty's precious bohea--a very high honour indeed--and when mr. beauleigh came into the room he found his sister and daughter seated on either side of a pretty, animated little lady whom he had never before seen, talking hard, and partaking of tay and angel cakes. whereupon he retired hastily and shut himself up in his library. chapter xvii lady o'hara wins her point lady o'hara looked across at her sleeping husband with no little severity in her glance. he was stretched in a chair beneath a giant oak, and she was busied with some needlework a few paces from him. o'hara's eyes were shut and his mouth open. my lady frowned and coughed. she rasped her throat quite considerably, but it was not without effect; her spouse shut his mouth and opened one lazy eyelid. immediately my lady assumed an air of gentle mournfulness, and the eye regarding her twinkled a little, threatening to close. molly looked reproachful, and began to speak in an aggrieved tone: "indeed, and i do not think it at all kind in you to go to sleep when i want to talk, sir." o'hara hastily opened the other eye. "why, my love, i was not asleep! i was--er--thinking!" "do you say so, sir? and do you usually think with your mouth open--_snoring_?" o'hara started up. "i'll swear i did not snore!" he cried. "molly, 'tis a wicked tease ye are!" "miles, 'tis a big baby you are!" she mimicked. "there is a caterpillar on your wig, and 'tis on crooked." "the caterpillar?" asked o'hara, bewildered. "no, stupid, the wig. i had best straighten it for you, i suppose." she rose and stooped over him, settling the wig and removing the caterpillar by means of two leaves, judiciously wielded. then she dropped a kiss on her husband's brow and sat down at his feet. "first, you have never asked me where i was gone to all yesterday afternoon." o'hara had been carefully broken in, and he now knew what was expected of him, and put on an expression of great interest. "where _did_ ye go, my lady?" "i went to call on miss beauleigh and her niece, sir!" she looked up at him triumphantly and a little challengingly. "the devil ye did!" "certainly, sir. i knew that there was something in the air, and i remembered your letter to me saying that jack was in love with diana. so i thought i would go and see her for myself." miles looked down at her half indulgently, half vexedly. "did you, puss?" "i did. and i found that she was in love with him as well as he with her--of course." "of course?" "who could help falling in love with him? he's so monstrous captivating, i would like to marry him myself." she bent her head to hide the roguish smile that had sprung to her lips. "i beg your pardon?" asked o'hara, startled. my lady traced patterns on his knee. "provided, of course, that i had not already married you, miles." but o'hara had seen the smile. he heaved a great sigh, and said in lugubrious tones: "there is always the river, madam." my lady's finger wavered and stopped, and her hand tucked itself away into his. "that is not a nice joke, miles." he laughed, and tweaked one of her curls. "sure, and did ye not ask for it, asthore?" "of course i did not. but about jack, dear--" "i thought it _was_ about jack?" "miles, will you be quiet and attend?" "yes, m'dear." "very well, then. as i have told you, i drove over to littledean yesterday afternoon, and made the acquaintance of the miss beauleighs." "and what did ye think of them?" "i thought diana was wonderfully beautiful--such eyes, miles!--and such hair! miss beauleigh is very amiable, and so droll! i drank a dish of tay with them, and i spoke of jack--" "madcap, never tell me ye called him carstares?" "no, you great gaby! of course i did not. as it chanced, miss beauleigh mentioned him first, and she called him mr. carr. so i did, too. and i noticed that diana said scarce a word about him, and when she did 'twas of the coolest. that, of course, made me all the more certain that she loved him." o'hara was plainly puzzled. "but why should you be certain if she did not speak of him, alanna?" "'tis what you'll never understand, my dear, because you are but a man. but no matter--i knew. i quite adored diana, and determined to talk to her alone. so i admired the roses, and she offered to escort me round the garden, which was what i wanted. we went out together. i think diana must have liked me, for--" "nonsense!" "be quiet, miles!--for she dropped her ice and became quite friendly. and i talked a lot." she was aware of a convulsive movement above her, and a suppressed cough. she raised inquiring eyebrows. "well, sir?" "nothing, asthore--nothing. go on with the tale--you were saying--" "that i talked a lot." she paused, and her eyes dared him; then she dimpled and dropped her lashes over them. "i shan't tell you all i said--" a relieved sigh interrupted her. "and if you continue to behave in this disagreeable fashion i shall not say another word about anything!" having satisfied herself that he was not going to venture a retort, she continued: "we had a long chat, and i gathered, from all she said and left unsaid, that jack, for some foolish reason, will not ask her to marry him." "foolish reason, asthore?" he interrupted. "oh, i know you consider it a remarkable fine reason, but i tell you, 'tis rank cruelty to that poor child. as if she cared about highwaymen!" "'twas not so much that, i take it, as--" "yes, but he could tell her he was innocent--oh, miles, do not look so provoking! of course he could! i vow if you had treated me so, i would never have let you go until you had truly repented! i am of a mind to speak to jack." "'twould be an entertaining sight, but ye'll kindly have a care how you touch him, my lady." "he does not understand. i _know_ she would be proud to marry him--" "and ye'd think it a fine thing in jack to ask her, the way things are with him at present?" "i--oh, i don't know!" "no, me love. jack is right: he must first clear his name." "then, gracious goodness me, why does he not?" cried molly, exasperated. this time it was o'hara's turn to look superior. "well, alanna, that's a question ye cannot hope to understand--because ye are but a woman." lady o'hara ignored the challenge. "but what is to be done?" "nought. he will have to work it out himself. he bound me to secrecy some time ago, or i would be tempted to speak to richard." "i quite _hate_ richard!" she cried. "he must be a selfish, unkind person. and now jack swears he must go away almost at once--and, oh! you should have seen diana's face of despair when i mentioned that he was going abroad again. miles, we must keep him here as long as ever we can! oh, dear! 'tis all very worrying." she broke off as o'hara pressed her hand warningly. my lord was coming across the lawn towards them. "i am in dire disgrace," he said. "i was left with your ferocious baby, molly, and to quiet him, i gave him a string of beads that you had left on the table." "my precious indian wooden beads!" "yes--i believe so. anyway, the paint came off, and when jane returned, david looked as though he had some horrible disease. she was most annoyed about it." he sat down in molly's lately vacated chair, and carefully wiped a daub of green from his forefinger. molly laughed. "poor jane! she will have such a task to clean him. but you've arrived most opportunely. we were talking of you." o'hara groaned inwardly, and tried to frown her down. "you were? i am flattered! may i ask what you were saying?" "why, that we do not want you to go back to france." o'hara breathed again. "that is very kind of you, my lady. i regret the necessity myself." "are you sure it is necessary? you might just as well live in a nice place near here, with a dear old woman to keep house for you--and--and jim--and--lots of pleasant things." my lord shook his head. "no, thank you!" "yes, yes! and later on you could choose a wife!" she continued audaciously. "not at all. there would be no choice; i should be made to marry the dear old woman. you would bully me into it." she laughed. "seriously, jack, could you not settle down near here?" "not with that old woman, molly." "never mind her; won't you consider it? no one need know you--in fact, you need see no one--and--oh, jack! don't look like that. miles, is he not ridiculous?" "sure, alanna, 'tis a dreary life he'd be leading," chuckled o'hara. "i see what it is, molly. you have planned to make me a recluse, _and_ to marry me to my housekeeper. i protest, 'tis great ill-usage!" molly eyed him doubtfully. "would you _much_ object to the life, john?" "madam," he replied solemnly, "you would find my corpse in the garden at the end of the first week." "of course i should not like that," she pondered. "but i do not see what else we can do for you. oh, and that reminds me! i drove over to littledean yesterday--miles, my love, will you be so kind as to fetch me my hat? i protest, the sun--" "we will move more into the shade," said her disobliging husband. "oh, well! 'tis of no account, though i did hear that brown was wanting to speak to you about the new cob--" "'tis prodigious thoughtful of you, molly, but i met brown some time ago." lady o'hara gave it up. "well, as i was saying, jack, i went to call at horton house. dear me, what a beautiful girl diana is, to be sure!" carstares tried to think of something to say, and failing, made a non-committal sound. "yes. they both sent their kind wishes, and hoped you were better. goodness! 'tis very close here. i wonder if you will give me your arm round the garden? and would _you_ fetch me my hat? i left it in the hall, i think. thank you very much!" she waited until he was out of earshot before she turned to her husband. "now, miles, you must please to stay where you are. i am not going to do anything indiscreet." "molly, i can't have ye worry him--" "no such thing! i am going to coax him to stay here instead of going abroad. i feel sure that if we can but persuade him to stay, something will happen." "what will happen?" "something!" "how do ye know?" "i don't know; i only feel it." "very well, asthore. if you can tease jack into staying, i'll bless ye." "that will be most enjoyable, i make no doubt!" she answered, and stepped back out of reach. "oh, thank you, john!" she tied the hat over her curls, and placed her hand on my lord's arm. "lazy miles is going to sleep again!" she said. "and i so dislike to hear him snore, so let's go a long way away--into the rose garden!" "don't go so far as all that!" drawled miles, closing his eyes. "you will tire yourselves." "do you allow him to make these ribald remarks?" inquired jack, waiting for her to extricate a stone from her shoe. "not usually," she answered. "he takes advantage when you are here." she dropped the pebble on top of o'hara and strolled away with my lord. as soon as they had rounded a corner in the shrubbery, she commenced the attack. "i want to speak to you of miles," she confided. "he is so worried." "is he, molly? faith, i hadn't noticed it!" she reflected that neither had she, but continued, nothing daunted: "ah, but he is!" "what worries him?" "you," sighed the lady mournfully. "'tis the thought of your leaving us. i feel it myself." "why--" "he had hoped you would be with us for a long time--as i had." "'tis monstrous good of you both, but--" "i am sure i do not know what i shall do with miles when you are gone. he was so looking forward to having you with him." "molly--" "and, indeed, it has come as a great disappointment to both of us to hear you talk of leaving. won't you think better of it?" "molly, you overwhelm me.... how can i remain here indefinitely?" "if only you would! you don't know how happy it would make us. i declare miles will worry himself quite ill if you persist in being so unkind." "oh, molly, you rogue!" she could not repress a smile, but checked it almost at once. "i mean it, jack." "what! that miles is worrying himself ill over me? fie!" "perhaps not as bad as that," she admitted. "but, indeed, he is much perturbed ... and, oh! i wish that you would not make us so unhappy." she dabbed at her eyes with a wispy handkerchief, but managed to watch his face all the same. "david loves you so, the pet! and miles is so delighted to have found you again--and _i_ like you--and--and--and i think 'twill be indeed rude and horrid if you do go--besides being so silly!" "do you, molly? you make me feel i should be an ungrateful boor to refuse--" the handkerchief was whisked away. "then, of course you won't try to refuse! you'll stay? promise!" "i cannot thank you enough--" "oh, you nice jack! till the autumn? promise!" "molly, i really--" "promise! i shall cry if you do not!" "i cannot! how could i prey upon your hospitality for so--" "what rubbish, jack! as if miles had not spent months and months at wyncham when you were boys--" "that was different--" "--when you were boys, and now you are so proud that you refuse to stay three miserable little months with us--" "no, no, molly; indeed, 'tis not that!" "confess, if miles were a bachelor, you would not hesitate?" he was silent, nonplussed. "you see! and just because he has a wife you are disagreeable and proud. you feel you cannot bear to stay with me--" "i swear i do not!" "then why do you refuse?" she triumphed. "molly--really, i--" he broke off, laughing. "you little wretch, you leave me nothing to say!" "then you will stay, as i ask?" "you are quite sure--" "quite." "thank you very much, i will stay. 'tis monstrous good of you, i vow. when you are tired of me, say so." "i will," she promised. "oh, but we shall do famously! how pleased miles will be! by the way," she continued, airily, "i asked the miss beauleighs to honour us on wednesday, but, unfortunately, they could not. still, perhaps some other d--" she stopped, a little frightened, for he was standing before her, gripping her shoulders in a very elder-brotherly fashion. "listen to me, molly. i know that you have discovered that i love diana, and i know that you think to be very kind and to bring us together. but i tell you that 'twill not be kind at all, only very cruel to us both. if you worry her to come here, i must go. do you see?" molly looked into the stern eyes, and her lip trembled. "i'm very--sorry!" she faltered. jack drew her arm through his once more. "'tis nothing to be sorry about; and, indeed, i am very grateful to you for trying to make me happy. but please do not!" "no, i promise i will not. but--but do you think you are being quite fair to--" "molly, tell me this: do you think you are being quite good to disobey your husband?" the blue eyes were dancing. she smiled doubtfully. "what do you mean, jack?" "do you tell me that miles did not expressly forbid you to mention this subject to me?" she pulled her hand away, her mouth forming a soundless "oh!" "well--well--well, how horrid of you!" she cried, and shook her fist at him. "i'm going now!" later, she found her husband in the library, and ran into his arms. "do you mind holding me tightly?" she asked. "i've--i've been put in the corner!" "what?" o'hara drew her on to his knee. "yes--figuratively--by jack. i think, perhaps, i shouldn't like to marry him after all!" "what has he done?" "n-nothing. i'm _afraid_," polishing one of his buttons with an assiduous finger, "i'm _afraid_ that it was rather my own fault!" "oh!" "yes--but i only said _very_ little about the miss beauleighs, and he suddenly turned into an iceberg and made me feel like a naughty little girl. but he is going to stay, all the same; so kiss me, miles!" chapter xviii enter captain harold lovelace at the end of august, after having spent a moderately quiet summer in the country, lady lavinia was again seized with a longing for town and its attractions. she would not listen to richard's warnings of the atrocious condition of the roads, declaring that she cared not one jot, and go to london she must. after that one protest he desisted, and promised to take her there the following week, secretly counting himself lucky to have kept her so long at wyncham in comparative cheerfulness of spirits. lavinia was overjoyed, kissed him again and again, scolded herself for being such a wicked tease, and set about making her preparations for the journey. the roads proved even worse than richard had prophesied, and twice the coach nearly upset, and times without number stuck fast in the mire, causing the inmates much inconvenience. carstares rode by the side of the heavy vehicle, in which were his wife, her maid, her tiny dog, and countless bandboxes and small parcels. in spite of the worry the constant stoppages entailed, he quite enjoyed the journey, for lavinia was in excellent spirits, and made light of their mishaps, receiving each fresh one with roguish laughter and some witty remark. even when the chimney of her bed-chamber, at one of the inns at which they halted, smoked most vilely, she did not, as richard quite expected she would, fly into a rage and refuse to spend another moment in the house, but after looking extremely doleful, cheered up and told dear dicky that she would have his room while he should have hers. then in the morning she would find him all dried up and _smoked_! in high good humour she went down to dinner with him, voted the partridges excellent, the pasties quite french, and the wine marvellously tolerable for such an out-of-the-way place, and kept him laughing at her antics until bed-time. the journey was, of necessity, very slow, not only on account of the bad roads, but because whenever my lady caught sight of wild roses growing on the hedges, she must stop to pluck some. then she and richard would stroll along for some way, he leading his horse, the coach following at a walking pace. all of which was very idyllic, and had the effect of sending richard to the seventh heaven of content. when at length they arrived at wyncham house, mayfair, they found that the servants had arrived a week before, and had made good use of their time. never, declared lavinia, had the house looked so inviting--so spick and span. one of her black pages proffered a small monkey with much bowing and grinning, and the murmur of: "massa's present." lady lavinia flew to embrace her dicky. how did he guess that she had for so long yearned for a monkey? surely she had but once or twice mentioned it? oh, he was the very best of husbands! she danced off to her apartments in a state of ecstasy. the _beau monde_ was returning to town, and when, a few days later, carstares conducted his wife to ranelagh, they found the gardens fairly crowded and very gay. lamps hung from tree branches, although it was still quite light; the fiddlers scraped away almost without a pause; fireworks shot up from one end; the summer-houses had all been freshly painted, and the pavilion was a blaze of light. consciousness of her beauty and the smartness of her georgia silk gown, with its petticoat covered in gold net, considerably added to lavinia's enjoyment. her hair she wore powdered and elaborately curled down on both sides with dainty escalloped lace half concealing it, and a grey _capuchin_ over all. her tippet was gold-laced to match her petticoat, and to fasten it she wore a brooch composed of clustered rubies. rubies also hung in her earrings, which last were of such length that the other ladies turned to stare in envy, and the bracelets that she wore over her long gloves flashed also with the great red stones. she was well-pleased with richard's appearance, and reflected that, when he chose, he could be very fashionable indeed. the claret-coloured velvet he was wearing was most distinguished, and the gold clocks to his hose quite ravishing. they had not been in the gardens ten minutes before a little crowd of men had gathered around them, professing themselves enraptured to behold the fair lady lavinia once more. one of them fetched her a chair, another a glass of negus, and the rest hovered eagerly about her. becomingly flushed with triumph, my lady gave her little hand to mr. selwyn, who had been once a very ardent admirer, laughed at his neat compliment, and declared that he was a dreadful flattering demon, and positively she would not listen to him! sir gregory markham, who brought her the negus, she discovered to have just returned from paris. on hearing this, she broke off in the middle of a conversation with an enchanted french chevalier and turned to him, raising her china-blue eyes to his face and clasping tight-gloved hands. "oh, sir gregory! paris? then tell me--please, tell me--have you seen my darling devil?" "why, yes, madam," responded markham, handing her the glass he held. she sipped the negus, and gave it to the chevalier to take care of. "i declare, i quite love you then!" she exclaimed. "what is he doing, and, oh! _when_ will he return to england?" sir gregory smiled. "how can i say?" he drawled. "i fear _monsieur s'amuse_!" she flirted her fan before her face. "dreadful creature!" she cried. "how dare you say such things?" "belmanoir?" inquired lord d'egmont, twirling his cane. "enamoured of the pompadour, is he not--saving your presence, lady lavvy!" lavinia let fall her fan. "the pompadour! he had best have a care!" "i believe there has already been some unpleasantness between his majesty and the fair jeanne on the subject of devil. since then she is supposed to have turned on him a cold shoulder." "_i_ heard 'twas he wearied of madame," said markham. "well, whichever it was, i am glad the episode is closed," decided lavinia. "'tis too dangerous a game to play with louis' mistresses. oh, mon cher chevalier! if i had not forgot your presence! but i am sure you say dreadful ill-natured things of our george, now don't you? oh, and have you held my negus all this time? how monstrous good of you! there, i will drink it, and julian shall take the glass away.... _voila_!" she handed it to d'egmont and rapped mr. selwyn's knuckles with her fan, looking archly up at him as he stood behind her chair. "naughty man! will you have done whispering in my ear? i vow i will not listen to your impudences! no, nor laugh at them neither! sir gregory, you have given me no answer. when will tracy return? for the cavendish rout on wednesday week? ah, say yes!" "certainly i will say yes, fair tormentor! but, to tell the truth, tracy said no word of coming to london when i saw him." she pouted. "now i hate you, sir gregory! and he has been absent since may! oh, julian, back already? you shall escort me to the fireworks then. oh, my fan! where is it? i know i dropped it on the ground--selwyn, if you have taken it--oh, dicky, you have it! thank you! see, i am going with julian, and you may ogle mrs. clive, whom i see walking over there--yes, positively you may, and i shall not be jealous! very well, julian, i am coming! chevalier, i shall hope to see you at the rout on wednesday week, but you must wait upon me before then." the frenchman brightened. "madame is too good. i may then call at wyncham 'ouse? _vraiment_, i shall but exist until then!" in a perfectly audible whisper, he confided to wilding that "_miladi etait ravissante! mais ravissante!_" lady lavinia went off on her gratified cavalier's arm, encountering many bows and much admiration as she passed down the walk, leaving her husband not to ogle the beautiful kitty, as she had advised, but to saunter away in the direction of the pavilion in company with tom wilding and markham. d'egmont guided my lady into one of the winding alleys, and they presently came out on a large lawn, dotted over with people of all conditions. towards them was coming lavinia's brother--colonel lord robert belmanoir--very richly clad and rakish in appearance. when he saw his sister, a look of surprise came into his florid face, and he made her a sweeping leg. "'pon my honour--lavinia!" my lady was not fond of her brother, and acknowledged the salutation with a brief nod. "i am delighted to see you, robert," she said primly. "the mere word 'delighted' in no way expresses my sensations," replied the colonel in the drawling, rather unpleasant voice peculiar both to him and to the duke. "your servant, d'egmont. i imagined, lavvy, that you were in the country?" "richard brought me to town last tuesday," she answered. "how unwise of him!" taunted the colonel. "or had he no choice?" she tossed her head angrily. "if you are minded to be disagreeable, robert, pray do not let me detain you!" she flashed. d'egmont was quite unembarrassed by this interchange of civilities. he knew the belmanoir family too well to be made uncomfortable by their bickerings. "shall we leave him?" he asked lavinia, smiling. "yes," she pouted. "he is determined to be unpleasant." "my dear sister! on the contrary, i believe i can offer you some amusement. lovelace is in town." "captain _harold_?" she cried incredulously. "the same." "oh, bob!" impulsively she withdrew her hand from julian's arm, transferring it to the colonel's. "i must see him at once! to think he is returned after all these years! quick, julian, dear lad--go and find him--and tell him 'tis i, lavinia, who want him! you know him, do you not? yes--i thought you did. send him to me at once!--at once!" d'egmont looked very crestfallen at having his walk with the goddess thus cut short, but he had perforce to kiss her hand and to obey. "yes. i thought you would be pleased," remarked lord robert, and chuckled. "allow me to point out to you that there is a chair--two chairs--in fact, quite a number of chairs--immediately behind you." she sat down, chattering excitedly. "why, 'tis nigh on five years since i saw harry! has he changed? lud! but he will deem me an old woman! is he like to be in town for long, i wonder?--dear me, bob, look at the two ladies over behind that seat!--gracious! what extraordinary _coifs_, to be sure! and cherry ribbons, too!... tell me, bob, where did you meet harry lovelace?" the colonel, who, far from attending to her monologue, had been sending amorous glances across to a palpably embarrassed girl, who hung on her papa's arm while that gentleman stopped to speak to a stout dowager, brought his gaze reluctantly back to his sister. "what's that you say, lavvy?" "how provoking of you not to listen to me! i asked where you met harold." "where i met him? let me see--where did i meet him? oh, i remember! at the cocoa-tree, a fortnight since." "and he is altered?" "not in any way, dear sister. he is the same mad, reckless rake-hell as ever. and unmarried." "how delightful! oh, i shall be so glad to see him again!" "you must present him to richard," sneered the colonel, "as an old flame." "i must, indeed," she agreed, his sarcasm passing over her head. "oh, i see him! look! coming across the grass!" she rose to meet the tall, fair young guardsman who came swiftly towards her, curtsying as only lady lavinia could curtsy, with such stateliness and coquetry. "captain lovelace!"--she put forward both her hands. lovelace caught them in his, and bent his head over them so that the soft, powdered curls of his loose wig fell all about his face. "lady lavinia!--enchantress!--i can find no words! i am dumb!" "and i!" "in that case," drawled the colonel, "you are not like to be very entertaining company. pray give me leave!" he bowed and sauntered away down the path with a peculiarly malicious smile on his lips. lavinia and lovelace found two chairs, slightly apart from the rest, and sat down, talking eagerly. "captain lovelace, i believe you had forgot me?" she rallied him. "never!" he answered promptly. "not though you well-nigh broke my heart!" "no, no! i did not do that. i never meant to hurt you." he shook his head disbelievingly. "you rejected me to marry some other man: do you say you did not mean to?" "you naughty harry!... you never married yourself?" "i?" the delicate features expressed a species of hurt horror. "i marry? no! i was ever faithful to my first love." she unfurled her fan, fluttering it delightedly. "oh! oh! _always_, harold? now speak the truth!" "nearly always," he amended. "disagreeable man! you admit you had lapses then?" "so very trivial, my dear," he excused himself. "and i swear my first action on coming to london was to call at wyncham house. imagine my disappointment--my incalculable gloom (on the top of having already dropped a thousand at faro) when i found the shell void, and venus--" she stopped him, her fan held ready for chastisement. "sir! you said your _first_ action was to call upon me!" he smiled, shaking back his curls. "i should have said: my first action of any importance." "you do not deem losing a thousand guineas important?" she asked wistfully. "well--hardly. one must enjoy life, and what's a thousand, after all? i had my pleasure out of it." "yes!" she breathed, her eyes sparkling. "that is how i think! what pleasure can one get if one neither hazards nor spends one's money? oh, well!" she shrugged one shoulder, dismissing the subject. "have you seen tracy of late?" "he was at a court ball i attended at versailles, but i did not have a chance of speaking with him. i heard he was very popular at paris." "ay!" she said proudly. "he has the french air.... i so desire to see him again, but i fear he does not think of returning. i know he was promised for the duchess of devonshire's rout months ago--before even the date was fixed, she so dotes on him--but i do not expect to see him there." she sighed and drummed on the ground with her diamond-buckled shoe. "harry, i am chilled! take me to the pavilion! i doubt they are dancing--and dicky will be there." "dicky?" he repeated. "dicky! lavinia, do not tell me there is another claimant to your heart?" "wicked, indelicate creature! 'tis my husband!" "your _husband_! enfin--" she cast him a sidelong glance of mingled coquetry and reproof. "your mind is at rest again, i trust?" "of course! a husband? pooh, a bagatelle, no more!" "my husband is not a bagatelle!" she laughed. "i am very fond of him." "this grows serious," he frowned. "'tis very unfashionable, surely?" she met his teasing eyes and cast down her lashes. "captain lovelace, you may take me to the pavilion." "sweet tormentor, not until you cease so to misname me." "harold, i am indeed chilly!" she said plaintively and snatched her hand from his lips. "no, no! people will stare--look, there is my odious brother returning! i declare i will not stay to listen to his hateful, sneering remarks!... come!" they walked across the grass together, keeping up a running fire of raillery, punctuated on his side by extravagant compliments filled with classical allusions, all more or less erroneous, and on hers by delighted little laughs and mock scoldings. so they came to the pavilion, where the musicians fiddled for those who wished to dance, and where most of the company had assembled now that it was growing chilly without. down one end of the hall, card-tables were set out, where members of both sexes diced and gambled, drinking glasses of burgundy or negus, the men toasting the ladies, and very often the ladies returning the toasts with much archness and low curtseying. lavinia cast off her _capuchin_ and plumed her feathers, giving a surreptitious shake to her ruched skirts and smoothing her ruffles. she rustled forward with great stateliness, fan unfurled, head held high, her gloved fingers resting lightly on lovelace's velvet-clad arm. richard, hearing the little stir caused by her entry, glanced up, and perceived her. he did not recognise her companion, but the sparkle in her eyes and the happy curve to her full lips were quite enough to tell him that it was someone whom she was very contented to have met. he had ample opportunity for studying lovelace as the good-looking pair drew near, and he could not but admire the delicate, handsome face with the grey eyes that held a laugh in them, the pleasure-loving, well-curved mouth, and the chin that spoke of determination. here was not one of lavinia's lisping, painted puppy-dogs, for in spite of the effeminate curls, it was easy to see that this man had character and a will of his own, and, above all, a great charm of manner. he saw lavinia blush and rap the captain's knuckles in answer to some remark, and his heart sank. he rose and came to meet them. lady lavinia smiled sweetly upon him, and patted his arm with a possessive little air. "dicky dear, i have found an old friend--a very old friend! is it not agreeable? captain lovelace--mr. carstares." the two men bowed, richard with reluctancy, the captain with easy _bonhomie_. "sir, i claim to be a worshipper at the shrine of which you, i believe, are high priest!" he said impudently, and bowed again, this time to my lady. "you are one of many, sir," smiled richard. lady devereux came tripping up to them, and kissed lavinia with a great show of affection. "my dearest life! my sweet lavinia!" lady lavinia presented a powdered cheek. "dearest fanny, how charming to see you again!" she cooed. through her lashes she gazed at her friend's enormous headdress, with its rolls of powdered curls and the imitation flowers perched upon the top of the erection. "but, my angel!" exclaimed lady fanny, stepping back to view her, "surely you have been ill?" "how strange!" smiled lavinia. "i was about to ask you that same question, my dear! 'tis age, i doubt not. do we both look such dreadful hags?" she turned her bewitching little countenance to the men, and smiled appealingly. compliments showered upon her, and lady devereux, who was conscious that her own sallow countenance, in spite of rouge and powder, must appear even more sallow beside lavinia's pink-and-whiteness, flushed in annoyance and turned away, begging her dearest lavvy to come to the faro with her. but lavinia, it appeared, was going to watch the dicing at richard's table: she vowed she should bring him monstrous good luck. "i don't doubt it, my dear," replied her husband, "but i am not playing to-night. will you not take your luck to bob?" he nodded to where the colonel was lounging, dice-box in hand. lavinia pouted. "no, i want you to play!" "'tis of no avail, lady lavinia!" drawled sir gregory. "richard is the very devil to-night." selwyn, rattling his dice, paused, and looked round at markham with a face of innocent surprise. then he turned slowly and stared at carstares' grave, almost stern countenance, with even more surprise. he started to rattle the dice again, and shifted back to face his opponent, with pursed lips. "is he?" he inquired with studied depression. even lavinia joined in the general laugh, not so much at the wit's words as at his comic expression, and the extreme deliberation with which he had enacted the little scene. someone cried a bet to lovelace, which was promptly accepted, and lavinia's eyes glowed afresh as she followed the captain to a table. richard went to fetch her some refreshment, and on his return, found her leaning over lovelace's chair, her hand on his shoulder, eagerly casting the dice on to the table. he was in time to see her clap her hands and to hear her cry of: "my luck! oh, my luck is in! i will throw again!" glancing round she caught sight of her husband, and her face fell. "do you _mind_, dicky?" she pleaded. he did mind, but he could not appear churlish before all these men; so he laughed and shook his head, and went to her elbow to watch her play. when she at length ceased, her luck had run out, and she had lost her much-prized ruby earring to mr. selwyn, who placed it carefully in his vest pocket, vowing he should wear it next his heart for ever. then, and then only, did she consent to leave the gaming tables for the dancing hall, and for another hour richard had the felicity of watching her tread the minuet with various young bloods, but most often with her new-found harry lovelace. chapter xix the reappearance of his grace of andover it seemed to richard in the days that followed, that captain lovelace was never out of his house. if he went to his wife's boudoir, there was lovelace, hanging over her while she played upon the spinet or glanced through the pages of the _rambler_. if lavinia went to a ball or masquerade, the captain was always amongst the favoured ones admitted to her chamber for the express purpose of watching her don her gown and judiciously place her patches. if carstares begged his wife's company one morning, she was full of regrets: harry was calling to take her to vauxhall or to spring gardens. when he entered his door, the first sight that met his eyes was the captain's amber-clouded cane and point-edged hat; and when he looked out of the window, it was more often to see a chair draw up at the house and lovelace alight. after patiently enduring a week of his continued presence, carstares remonstrated with his wife: she must not encourage her friend to spend all his time at grosvenor square. at first she had looked reproachful, and then she inquired his reason. his reluctant answer was that it was not seemly. at that her eyes had opened wide, and she demanded to know what could be more seemly than the visits of such an old friend? with a gleam of humour, richard replied that it was not captain harold's age that he objected to, but, on the contrary, his youth. on which she accused him of being jealous. it was true enough, but he indignantly repudiated the suggestion. very well, then, he was merely stupid! he must not be cross; harry was her very good friend, and did not richard admire the new device for her hair? richard was not to be cajoled: did she clearly understand that lovelace's visits must cease? she only understood one thing, and that was that dicky was marvellous ill-tempered and ridiculous to-day. and he must not tease her! yes, she would be very good, but so must he! and now she was going shopping, and she would require at least twenty guineas. in spite of her promise to "be good," she made no attempt to discourage lovelace's attentions, always smiling charmingly upon him and beckoning him to her side. it was the morning of the duchess of devonshire's rout that carstares again broached the subject. my lady was in bed, her fair hair unpowdered and streaming all about her shoulders, her chocolate on a small table at her side and countless _billets doux_ from admirers scattered on the sheet. in her hand she held a bouquet of white roses with a card attached bearing, in bold, sprawling characters, the initials "h. l." perhaps it was the sight of those incriminating letters that roused richard's anger. at all events, with a violence quite unlike his usual gentle politeness, he snatched the flowers from her hand, and sent them whizzing into a corner. "let there be an end to all this folly!" he cried. lavinia raised herself on one elbow, astonished. "h-how _dare_ you?" she gasped. "it has come to that!" he answered. "how dare i, your husband, try to control your actions in any way? i tell you, lavinia, i have had enough of your antics, and i will not longer put up with them!" "you--you--what in heaven's name ails you, richard?" "this! i will not countenance that puppy's invasion of my house!" he made a furious gesture towards the wilted bouquet. "neither will i permit you to make yourself the talk of london through him!" "i? i? _i_ make myself the talk of london? how dare you? oh! how dare you?" "i beg you will cease that foolishness. there is no question of my daring. how dare _you_ disobey me, as you have been doing all this past week?" she cowered away from him. "dicky!" "'tis very well to cry 'dicky,' and to smile, but i have experienced that before. sometimes i think you are utterly without heart!--a selfish, vain, extravagant woman!" the childish lips trembled. lady lavinia buried her face in the pillows, sobbing. carstares' face softened. "i beg your pardon, my dear. mayhap that was unjust." "and cruel! and cruel!" "and cruel. forgive me." she twined white, satiny arms about his neck. "you did not _mean_ it?" "no. i mean that i will not allow lovelace to dangle after you, however." she flung away from him. "you have no right to speak like that. i knew harry long before i ever set eyes on _you_!" he winced. "you infer that he is more to you than i am?" "no! though you try to make me hate you. no! i love you best. but i will not send harry away!" "not if i order it?" "order it? order it? no! no! a thousand times no!" "i do order it!" "and i refuse to listen to you!" "by god, madam, you need a lesson!" he flamed. "i am minded to take you back to wyncham this very day! and i promise you that, an you do not obey me in this, to wyncham you _shall_ go!" he stamped out of the room as he spoke, and she sank back amongst her pillows, white and trembling with fury. as soon as she was dressed, she flounced downstairs, bent on finishing the quarrel. but carstares had gone out some time since, and was not expected to return until late. for a moment lavinia was furious, but the timely arrival of a box from her mantua-maker's chased away the frowns and wreathed her face in smiles. richard did not return until it was time to prepare for the rout, and on entering the house he went straight to his chamber, putting himself into the hands of his valet. he submitted to the delicate tinting of his finger-nails, the sprinkling of his linen with rosewater and the stencilling of his brows. he was arrayed in puce and gold, rings slipped on to his fingers, his legs coaxed into hose with marvellous clocks splashed on their sides, and a diamond buckle placed above the large black bow of his tie-wig. then, powdered, painted and patched, he went slowly across to his wife's room. lavinia, who had by now quite forgotten the morning's _contretemps_, greeted him with a smile. she sat before the mirror in her under-gown, with a loose _déshabillé_ thrown over her shoulders. the _coiffeur_ had departed, and her hair, thickly powdered, was dressed high above her head over cushions, twisted into curls over her ears and allowed to fall in more curls over her shoulders. on top of the creation were poised ostrich feathers, scarlet and white, and round her throat gleamed a great necklet of diamonds. the room was redolent of some heavy perfume; discarded ribbons, laces, slippers and gloves strewed the floor; over the back of a chair hung a brilliant scarlet domino, and tenderly laid out on the bed was her gown, a mass of white satin and brocade, with full ruffles over the hips and quantities of foaming lace falling from the corsage and from the short sleeves. beside it reposed her fan, her soft lace gloves, her mask and her tiny reticule. carstares gingerly sat down on the extreme edge of a chair and watched the maid tint his wife's already perfect cheeks. "i shall break hearts to-night, shall i not?" she asked gaily, over her shoulder. "i do not doubt it," he answered shortly. "and you, dicky?" she turned round to look at him. "puce... 'tis not the colour i should have chosen, but 'tis well enough. a new wig, surely?" "ay." her eyes questioned his coldness, and she suddenly remembered the events of the morning. so he was sulky? very well! monsieur should see! someone knocked at the door; the maid went to open it. "sir douglas faversham, sir gregory markham, moosso le chevalier and captain lovelace are below, m'lady." a little devil prompted lavinia. "oh, la-la! so many? well, i cannot see all, 'tis certain. admit sir gregory and captain lovelace." louisa communicated this to the lackey and shut the door. richard bit his lip angrily. "are you sure i am not _de trop_?" he asked, savagely sarcastic. lady lavinia cast aside her _déshabillé_ and stood up. "oh, 'tis no matter--i am ready for my gown, louisa." there came more knocking at the door, and this time it was carstares who rose to open it. there entered markham, heavily handsome in crimson and gold, and lovelace, his opposite, fair and delicately pretty in palest blue and silver. as usual, he wore his loose wig, and in it sparkled three sapphire pins. he made my lady a marvellous leg. "i am prostrated by your beauty, fairest!" sir gregory was eyeing lavinia's white slippers through his quizzing glass. "jewelled heels, 'pon my soul!" he drawled. she pirouetted gracefully, her feet flashing as they caught the light. "was it not well thought on?" she demanded. "but i must not waste time--the dress! now, markham--now harry--you will see the creation!" lovelace sat down on a chair, straddle-wise, his arms over the back, and his chin sunk in his hands. markham leant against the _garde-robe_ and watched through his glass. when the dress was at last arranged, the suggested improvements in the matter of lace, ribbons, and the adjustment of a brooch thoroughly discussed, bracelets fixed on her arms and the flaming domino draped about her, it was full three-quarters of an hour later, and carstares was becoming impatient. it was not in his nature to join with the two men in making fulsome compliments, and their presence at the toilette filled him with annoyance. he hated that lavinia should admit them, but it was the _mode_, and he knew he must bow the head under it. my lady was at last ready to start; her gilded chair awaited her in the light of the _flambeaux_ at the door, and with great difficulty she managed to enter it, taking absurd pains that her silks should not crush, nor the nodding plumes of her huge head-dress become disordered by unseemly contact with the roof. then she found that she had left her fan in her room, and lovelace and markham must needs vie with one another in the fetching of it. while they wrangled wittily for the honour, richard went quietly indoors and presently emerged with the painted chicken-skin, just as lovelace was preparing to ascend the steps. at last lavinia was shut in and the bearers picked up the poles. off went the little cavalcade down the long square, the chair in the middle. lovelace walked close beside it on the right, and richard and markham on the left. so they proceeded through the uneven streets, carefully picking their way through the dirtier parts, passing other chairs and pedestrians, all coming from various quarters into south audley street. they were remarkably silent: markham from habitual laziness, lovelace because he sensed richard's antagonism, and richard himself on account of his extremely worried state of mind. in fact, until they reached curzon street no one spoke, and then it was only markham, who, glancing behind him at the shuttered windows of the great corner house, casually remarked that chesterfield was still at wells. an absent assent came from carstares, and the conversation came to an end. in clarges street they were joined by sir john fortescue, an austere patrician, and although some years his senior, a close friend of richard's. they fell behind the chair, and fortescue took richard's proffered arm. "i did not see you at white's to-day, john?" "no. i had some business with my lawyer. i suppose you did not stumble across my poor brother?" "frank? i did not--but why the 'poor'?" fortescue shrugged slightly. "i think the lad is demented," he said. "he was to have made one of march's supper-party last night, but at four o'clock received a communication from heaven knows whom which threw him into a state of unrest. what must he do but hurry off without a word of explanation. since then i have not set eyes on him, but his man tells me he went to meet a friend. damned unusual of him is all i have to say." "very strange. do you expect to see him to-night?" "i should hope so! my dear carstares, who is the man walking by your lady's chair?" "markham?" "the other." "lovelace." "lovelace? and who the devil is he?" "i cannot tell you--beyond a captain in the guards." "that even is news to me. i saw him at goosetree's the other night, and wondered. somewhat of a rake-hell, i surmise." "i daresay. i do not like him." they were entering the gates of devonshire house now, and had to part company, for the crush was so great that it was almost impossible to keep together. carstares stayed by lavinia's chair, and the other men melted away into the crowd. chairs jostled one another in the effort to get to the door, town coaches rolled up, and having let down their fair burdens, passed out again slowly, pushing through the throng. when the carstares' chair at last drew near the house, it was quite a quarter of an hour later. the ball-room was already full and a blaze of riotous colour. lavinia was almost immediately borne off by an infatuated youth for whom she cherished a motherly affection that would have caused the unfortunate to tear his elegant locks, had he known it. richard distinguished lord andrew belmanoir, one of a group of bucks gathered about the newest beauty, miss gunning, who, with her sister elizabeth, had taken fashionable london by storm. andrew wore a mask, but he was quite unmistakable by his length of limb and carelessly rakish appearance. wilding, across the room, beckoned to richard, and on his approach, dragged him to the card-room to play at lansquenet with march, selwyn and himself. carstares found the earl in great good-humour, due, so selwyn remarked, to the finding of an opera singer even more lovely than the last. from lansquenet they very soon passed to dice and betting, with others who strolled up to the table. then carstares excused himself and went back to the ball-room. he presently found himself by the side of one isabella fanshawe, a sprightly widow, greatly famed for her wittiness and good looks. carstares had met her but once before, and was now rather surprised that she motioned him to her side, patting the couch with an inviting, much be-ringed hand. "come and sit by me, mr. carstares. i have wanted to speak with you this long time." she lowered her mask as she spoke and closely scrutinised his face with her bright, humorous eyes. "why, madam, i am flattered," bowed richard. she cut him short. "i am not in the mood for compliments, sir. nor am i desirous of making or hearing clever speeches. you are worrying me." richard sat down, intrigued and attracted by this downright little woman. "i, madam?" "you, sir. that is, your face worries me." seeing his surprise, she laughed, fanning herself. "'tis comely enough, i grant you! i mean there is such a strong likeness to--a friend of mine." richard smiled politely and relieved her of the fan. "indeed, madam?" "yes. i knew--this other gentleman in vienna, three years ago. i should judge him younger than you, i think. his eyes were blue, but very similar to yours. his nose was almost identical with yours, but the mouth--n-no. yet the whole expression--" she broke off, noticing her companion's sudden pallor. "but you are unwell, sir?" "no, madam, no! what was your friend's name?" "ferndale," she answered. "anthony ferndale." the fan stopped its swaying for a moment. "ah!" said richard. "do you know him?" she inquired eagerly. "many years ago, madam, i was--acquainted with him. can you tell me--was he in good spirits when last you saw him?" she pursed her lips thoughtfully. "if you mean was he gay, was he witty--yes. but sometimes i thought--mr. carstares, when he was silent, his eyes were so sad--! indeed, i do not know why i tell you this." "you may be sure, madam, your confidence is safe with me. i had--a great regard for this gentleman." he opened and shut her fan as he spoke, fidgeting with the slender sticks. "you, too, were interested in him, madam?" "i do not think ever anyone knew him and was not, sir. it was something in his manner, his personality--i cannot explain--that endeared him to one. and he once--aided me--when i was in difficulties." richard, remembering scraps of gossip concerning the widow's past, merely bowed his head. she was silent for a time, staring down at her hands, but presently she looked up smiling, and took her fan away from him. "i cannot abide a fidget, sir!" she told him. "and i see lord fotheringham approaching. i am promised to him this dance." she rose, but richard detained her. "mrs. fanshawe, will you permit me to call upon you? i would hear more of--your friend. you, mayhap, think it strange--but--" "no," she answered. "i do not. certainly call upon me, sir. i lodge in mount street with my sister--no. 16." "i protest, madam, you are too good--" "again, no. i have told you, i like a man to talk as a man and not as an affected woman. i shall be pleased to welcome you." she curtsied and went away on the viscount's arm. at the same moment a voice at richard's elbow drawled: "do i see you at the vivacious widow's feet, my good dick?" carstares turned to face his brother-in-law, colonel belmanoir. "is not all london?" he smiled. "oh, no! not since the beautiful gunnings' arrival. but i admit she is a dainty piece. and lavinia? will she break her heart, i wonder?" he laughed beneath his breath as he saw richard's eyes flash. "i trust not," replied carstares. "are you all here to-night?" "our illustrious head is absent, i believe. andrew is flirting with the fletcher girl in the blue salon; i am here, and lavinia is amusing herself with lovelace. yes, richard, lovelace! be careful!" with another sneering laugh he walked on, bowing to elizabeth gunning, who passed by on the arm of her partner, his grace of hamilton, most palpably _épris_. at that moment two late-comers entered the room and made their way towards their hostess, who appeared delighted to see them, especially the taller of the two, whose hand she slapped with good-humoured raillery. the shorter gentleman wore no mask, and the colonel recognised frank fortescue. his eyes travelled to the other, who, unlike most of the men who only held their masks, had fastened his across his eyes, and they widened in surprise. the purple domino, worn carelessly open, revealed black satin encrusted with silver and diamonds. the natural hair was raven-black, the nostrils were pinched and the lips thin. "the devil!" ejaculated robert, and strolled over to him. fortescue walked away when he saw who approached, and his grace of andover turned slowly towards his brother. "i rather thought you were in paris," yawned the colonel. "i am always sorry to disillusion you," bowed his grace. "not at all; i am transported with joy at seeing you. as is lavinia, it appears." lady lavinia, on recognising his grace, had dropped her partner's hand and fled incontinent towards him. "you, tracy!" she clasped delighted hands on his arm. "this is very touching," sneered robert. "it only needs andrew to complete the happy reunion. pray excuse me!" "with pleasure," replied the duke gently, and bowed as if to a stranger. "he grows tedious," he remarked, as soon as the colonel was out of earshot. "oh, bob! i take no account of _him_! but, tracy, how is it you have come to-day? i thought--" "my dear lavinia, do i wear an air of mystery? i imagined you knew i was promised to dolly cavendish to-night?" "yes, but--oh, what matters it? i am so charmed to see you again, dear!" "you flatter me, lavinia." "and now that you have come, i want to hear why you ever went! tracy, take me into the room behind us. i know 'tis empty." "very well, child, as you will." he held back the curtain for her and followed her into the deserted chamber. "you want to know why i went?" he began, seating himself at her side. "i counsel you, my dear, to cast your mind back to the spring--at bath." "your _affaire_! of course! so the lady proved unkind?" "no. but i bungled it." "_you_? tell me at once!--at once!" his grace stretched out his leg and surveyed his shoe-buckle through half-closed lids. "i had arranged everything," he said, "and all would have been well but for an interfering young jackanapes who chanced along the track and saw fit to espouse madam diana's cause." he paused. "he tripped me up by some trick, and then--_que veux-tu_?" "who was it?" "how should i know? at first he seemed familiar. at all events, he knew me. he may be dead by now. i hope he is." "gracious! did you wound him?" "i managed to fire at him, but he was too quick, and the bullet took him in the shoulder. it may, however, have been mortal." "and so you went to paris?" "ay. to forget her." "and have you forgotten?" "i have not. she is never out of my thoughts. i plan again." his sister sighed. "she is then more beautiful than the pompadour?" she asked meaningly. tracy turned his head. "the pompadour?" "ay! we heard you contrived to amuse yourself in a pretty fashion, tracy!" "really? i had no idea people were so interested in my affairs. but 'amuse' is an apt word." "ah? you were not then _épris_?" "i? with that low-born cocotte? my dear lavinia!" she laughed at his haughty tone. "you've not always been so nice, tracy! but what of your diana? an you are so infatuated, you had best wed her." "why, so i think." lady lavinia gasped. "tracy! you do not mean it? goodness me, but a marriage!" "why not, lavinia?" "oh, a respectable married man, forsooth! and how long will the passion last?" "i cannot be expected to foretell that, surely? i hope, for ever." "and you'll tie yourself up for the sake of one chit? lud!" "i can conceive a worse fate for a man." "can you? well, tell me more! 'tis monstrous exciting. do you intend to court her?" "at this stage of the proceedings? that were somewhat tactless, my dear. i must abduct her, but i must be more careful. once i have her, i can propitiate papa." "tracy, 'tis the maddest scheme ever i heard! what will the others say?" "do you really suppose i care?" "no, i suppose not. oh, will not bob be furious, though!" "it were almost worth while--just for the sake of foiling him. he would so like to succeed me. but i really do not think he must." his elbow was on his knee, his chin in his hand, and a peculiar smile on his lips. "can you imagine him stepping into my ducal shoes, lavinia?" "very easily!" she cried. "oh, yes, yes, tracy! marry the girl!" "if she will." "why, 'tis not like you to underrate your persuasive powers!" his grace's thin nostrils wrinkled up in a curious grimace. "i believe one cannot force a girl to the altar," he said. "unless she is a fool, she'll have you." "her parent would be influenced by my dukedom, but she, no. not even if she knew of it." "does she not know?" "certainly not. i am mr. everard." "how wise of you, tracy! so you've nought to fear?" "fear?" he snapped his fingers. "i?" the heavy curtain swung noiselessly aside. richard carstares stood in the opening. tracy turned his head and scrutinised him languidly. then he put up his hand and removed his mask. "is it possible the husband scented an intrigue? it seems i am doomed to disappoint to-night." lavinia, smarting from her morning's wrongs, laughed savagely. "more probable he mistook me for someone else!" she snapped. richard bowed, his hand on the curtain. he had shown no surprise at seeing the duke. "far more probable, my dear. i thought you lady charlwood! pray give me leave." he was gone on the word. tracy replaced his mask, chuckling. "honest dick grows cold, eh? but what a snub, lavinia!" her little hand clenched. "oh, how dare he! how dare he insult me so?" "my dear sister, in all justice to him, you must admit the boot was rather on the other leg." "oh, i know--i know! but he is so provoking!--so jealous!--so unreasonable!" "jealous? and why?" with an impatient twitch at her petticoat she made answer, not looking at him. "oh, i do not know! nor he! take me back to the ball-room." "certainly, my dear." he rose and led her out. "i shall do myself the honour of waiting on you--to-morrow." "yes? how delightful 'twill be! come to dine, tracy! richard is promised to the fortescues." "in that case, i have much pleasure in accepting your invitation.... in heaven's name, who is this?" lovelace was bearing down upon them. "lavinia! i have been seeking you everywhere!--ah--your servant, sir!" he bowed to his grace, and took lavinia's hand. "oh--oh, harold!--you remember tracy?" she said nervously. "tracy! i did not know you masked! i saw you last in paris." "really? i regret i was not aware of your presence. it is a good many years since i had the honour of seeing you." "five," nodded lovelace, and sent a smiling, amorous glance at lavinia. "exactly," bowed his grace. "you have, i perceive, renewed your acquaintance with my sister." when they were gone he caressed his chin, thoughtfully. "lovelace ... and richard is so jealous, so unreasonable. now i do hope lavinia will do nothing indiscreet--yes, frank, i was talking to myself; a bad habit." fortescue, who had come up behind him, took his arm. "a sign of lunacy, my dear. jim cavendish demands you." "does he? may i ask why?" "he is in the card-room. there is some bet on, i believe." "in that case i shall have to go. you had best accompany me, frank." "very well. you have seen lady lavinia?" beneath the mask his grace's eyes narrowed. "i have seen lavinia. also i have seen an old friend--lovelace by name." "the captain with the full-bottomed wig? your friend, you say?" "did i say so? i should correct myself: a friend of my sister's." "indeed? yes, i believe i have seen him in her company." tracy smiled enigmatically. "i daresay." "and what of you, tracy?" "well? _what_ of me?" "you told me this morning that you had at last fallen in love. it is true? you are honestly in love?" "honestly? how do i know? i only know that i have felt this passion for four months, and now it is stronger than ever. it sounds like love." "then, an she is a good woman, i hope she will consent to take you, such as you are, and make of you such as she can!" "now that is very neat, frank. i congratulate you. of course she will take me; as to the rest--i think not." "tare an' ouns, tracy! but an that is the tone you take with her, she'll have none of you!" "i have never found it unsuccessful." "with your common trollops, no! but if your diana is a lady, she will dispatch you about your business! woo her, man! forget your own damned importance, for i think you will need to humble yourself to the dust if all that you tell me has passed between you is true!" they had paused outside the card-room. a curtain shut it off from the ball-room, and with his hand on it, tracy stared arrogantly down at his friend. "humble myself? 'fore gad, you must be mad!" "belike i am; but i tell you, tracy, that if your passion is love, 'tis a strange one that puts yourself first. i would not give the snap of a finger for it! you want this girl, not for her happiness, but for your own pleasure. that is not the love i once told you would save you from yourself. when it comes, you will count yourself as nought; you will realise your own insignificance, and above all, be ready to make any sacrifice for her sake. yes, even to the point of losing her!" his grace's lips sneered. "your eloquence is marvellous," he remarked. "i have not been so amused since i left paris." chapter xx his grace of andover takes a hand in the game when the duke of andover dined next day at grosvenor square, he contrived, by subtle means, to make his sister feel inexplicably ill at ease. he let fall pleasant little remarks concerning her friendship with captain lovelace, in which she read disapproval and a sinister warning. she was afraid of him, as she was not of her husband, and she knew that if he ever guessed at the depths of her affection for the old flame, he would take very effective measures towards stopping her intercourse with him. it was, then, entirely owing to his return that she told lovelace that he must not so palpably adore her. neither must he visit her so frequently. they were both in her boudoir at the time, one morning, and no doubt lavinia looked very lovely and very tempting in her wrapper, with her golden curls free from powder and loosely dressed beneath her escalloped lace ruffle. at all events, lovelace abandoned his daintily bantering pose and seized her in his arms, nearly smothering her with fierce, passionate caresses. her ladyship struggled, gave a faint shriek, and started to cry. as his kisses seemed to aggravate her tears, he picked her up, and carrying her to a chair, lowered her gently into it. then, having first dusted the floor with his handkerchief, he knelt down beside her and possessed himself of both her hands. "lavinia! goddess! i adore you!" bethinking herself that tears were ruinous to her complexion, lady lavinia pulled her hands away and dabbed at her eyes. "oh, harold!" she reproached him. "i have offended you! wretch that i am--" "oh, no, no!" lady lavinia gave him her hand again. "but 'twas wicked of you, harry! you must never, never do it again!" his arm crept round her waist. "but i love you, sweetheart!" "oh! oh! think of dicky!" he released her at that, and sprang to his feet. "why should i think of him? 'tis of you and myself i think! only a week ago you vowed he was unkind--" "you are monstrous wicked to remind me of that! we were both cross--and then we were both sorry. i am very fond of poor dicky." "fond of him! ay, so you may be, but you do not love him! not as a woman loves a man--do you?" "harold!" "of course you do not! you used to love me--no, do not shake your head, 'tis true! you would have married me had it not been for tracy." "oh, harry! how can you say so? what had he to do with it?" "what, indeed! whose fault was it that i was time after time refused admittance at andover? whose fault was it that you were induced to marry carstares?" "not tracy's. 'twas my own wish." "fostered by his influence?" "oh, no!" "you never loved carstares--" "i did! i do!" "you may think so, but i know better. why, he is not even suited to you! you were made for life and pleasure and hazard! with me you would have had all that; with him--" she had risen to her feet and drawn nearer to him, her eyes sparkling, but now she covered her ears with her hands and stamped pettishly. "i will not listen! i will not, i tell you! oh, you are unkind to plague me so!" lovelace took her into his arms once more, and drawing down her hands, kissed her again and again. she resisted, trying to thrust him off, but she was crushed against him, and he would have kissed her again, had not there come an interruption. a knock fell on the door, and the footman announced: "his grace of andover, m'lady!" the guilty pair sprang apart in the nick of time, she fiery red, he pale, but composed. his grace stood in the doorway, his quizzing glass raised inquiringly. his eyes went swiftly from one to the other and widened. he bowed elaborately. "my dear lavinia! captain lovelace, your very obedient!" lovelace returned the bow with much flourish. "your grace!" "dear me, tracy!" cried lavinia, advancing. "what an unexpected visit!" "i trust i have not arrived at an inopportune moment, my dear?" "oh, no!" she assured him. "i am quite charmed to see you! but at such an early hour--! i confess, it quite astonishes me!" she brought him to a chair, chattering like a child, and so innocent was his expression, so smiling his attitude towards the captain, that she imagined that he suspected nothing, and had not noticed her blushes. it was only when lovelace had departed that she was undeceived. then, when his grace moved to a chair opposite her, she saw that he was frowning slightly. "you--you are put out over something, tracy?" she asked nervously. the frown deepened. "n-no. i am not 'put out.' i merely anticipate the sensation." "i--i don't understand. what mean you?" "at present, nothing." "tracy, please do not be mysterious! are you like to be put out?" "i trust not, lavinia." "but what annoys you?" instead of answering, he put a question: "i hope you amused yourself well--last night, my dear sister?" she flushed. last night had been lady davenant's masquerade, to which lord robert had conducted her. she had danced almost exclusively with lovelace the whole evening, but as they were both masked, she was rather surprised at the question. "i enjoyed myself quite tolerably, thank you. you were there?" "no, lavinia, i was not there." "then how do you kn--" she stopped in confusion, biting her lips. for an instant she caught a glimpse of his eyes, piercing and cold. "how do i know?" smoothly finished his grace "one hears things, lavinia. also--" he glanced round the room, "one sees things." "i--i don't understand you!" she shot out, twisting the lace of her gown with restless, uneasy fingers. "no? must i then be more explicit?" "yes! yes! i should be glad!" "then let me beg of you, my dear lavinia, that you will commit no indiscretion." her cheeks flamed. "you mean--" "i mean that you have grown too friendly with harold lovelace." "well! what of it?" his grace put up his eye-glass, faintly astonished. "what of it? pray think a moment, lavinia!" "'tis not likely that _i_ shall be the one to disgrace the name, tracy!" "i sincerely hope not. i give you my word i should do all in my power to prevent any foolhardy action on your part. pray do not forget it." she sat silent, biting her lips. "it is, my child, unwise to play with fire. sooner or later one gets burnt. and remember that your gallant captain has not one half of richard's wealth." up she sprang, kicking her skirts as she always did when angered. "money! money!--always money!" she cried. "i do not care one rap for it! and richard is not wealthy!" "richard is heir to wealth," replied his grace calmly. "and even an you are so impervious to its charms, i, my dear, am not. richard is extremely useful to me. i beg you will not leave him for any such mad rake as lovelace, who would be faithful to you for perhaps three months, certainly not longer." "tracy, i will not have you speak to me like this! how dare you insult me so? i have given you no cause! i did not say i had any desire to run away with him--and he _would_ be faithful to me! he has been faithful all these years!" his grace smiled provokingly. "my dear--!" "oh, i know there have been episodes--indiscretions. do you think i count him the worse for that?" "evidently not." "there has never been another serious love with him! i hate you!" "you are overfree with your emotions, my dear. so you do indeed contemplate an elopement?" "no, no, no! i do not! i am _fond_ of dicky!" "dear me!" "of course i shall not leave him!" "why then, i am satisfied," he answered, and rose to his feet. "i shall look to see captain lovelace more out of your company." he picked up his hat and cane and stood directly in front of her. one dead white hand, on which blazed a great ruby seal ring, took her little pointed chin in a firm clasp and tilted her head up until she was forced to meet his eyes. they held hers inexorably, scorchingly. "you understand me?" he asked harshly. lavinia's eyes filled with tears and her soft underlip trembled. "yes," she fluttered, and gave a tiny sob. "oh, yes, tracy!" the eyes lost something of their menacing gleam, and he smiled, for once without a sneer, and releasing her chin, patted her cheek indulgently. "bear in mind, child, that i am fifteen years your senior, and i have more worldly wisdom in my little finger than you have in the whole of your composition. i do not wish to witness your ruin." the tears brimmed over, and she caught his handkerchief from him, dabbing at her eyes with one heavily-laced corner. "you do love me, tracy?" "in the recesses of my mind i believe i cherish some affection for you," he replied coolly, rescuing his handkerchief. "i used to class you with your deplorable brothers, but i think perhaps i was wrong." she gave an hysterical laugh. "tracy, how can you be so disagreeable? lud! but i pity diana an she marries you!" to her surprise he flushed a little. "diana, an she marries me, will have all that her heart could desire," he answered stiffly, and took his leave. once outside in the square he looked for a sedan, and not seeing one, walked away towards audley street. he went quickly, but his progress was somewhat retarded by two ladies, who, passing in their chairs down the street, perceived him and beckoned him to their sides. escaping presently from them, he turned into curzon street, and from thence down half moon street, where he literally fell into the arms of tom wilding, who had much to say on the subject of march's last bet with edgecumbe. his grace affected interest, politely declined wilding's proffered escort, and hurried down into piccadilly, walking eastwards towards st. james's square, where was the andover town house. he was fated to be again detained, for as he walked along arlington street, mr. walpole was on the point of descending the steps of no. 5. he also had much to say to his grace. he had no idea that belmanoir had returned from paris. a week ago he had arrived? well, he, walpole, had been out of town all the week--at twickenham. he hoped bel. would honour him with his company at the small card-party he was giving there on thursday. george was coming, and dick edgecumbe; he had asked march and gilly williams, but the lord knew whether both would be induced to appear! bel. had heard of gilly's absurd jealousy? wilding was promised, and markham; several other answers he was awaiting. andover accepted gracefully and parted from mr. walpole. he made the rest of his journey in peace, and on arriving at his house, went straight to the library, where sat a sleek, eminently respectable-looking individual, dressed like a groom. he stood up as his grace entered, and bowed. belmanoir nodded shortly and sat down at his desk. "i have work for you, harper." "yes, sir--your grace, i should say." "do you know sussex?" "well, your grace, i don't know as how--" "_do you know sussex?_" "no, your grace--er--yes, your grace! i should say, not well, your grace!" "have you heard of a place called littledean?" "no, s--your grace." "midhurst?" "oh, yes, your grace." "good. littledean is seven miles west of it. you will find that out--also an inn called, i think, 'the pointing finger.' there you will lodge." "yes, your grace, certainly." "at a very little distance from there is a house--horton house, where lives a certain mr. beauleigh, with his sister and daughter. you are to watch the comings and goings of these people with the utmost care. eventually you will become groom to mr. beauleigh." "b-but, your grace!" feebly protested the astonished harper. "you will approach their present groom, and you will insinuate that i, andover, am in need of a second groom. you will tell him that i pay handsomely--treble what mr. beauleigh gives him. if i know human nature, he will apply for the post. you then step in. if mr. beauleigh asks for some recommendation, you are to refer him to sir hugh grandison, white's chocolate house, st. james's street. when you are engaged i will send further instructions." the man gaped, shut his mouth, and gaped again. "do you fully understand me?" asked belmanoir calmly. "er--er--yes, your grace!" "repeat what i have said, then." harper stumbled through it and mopped his brow unhappily. "very well. in addition, i pay you twice as much as mr. beauleigh gives you, and, at the end, if you serve me well--fifty guineas. are you satisfied?" harper brightened considerably. "yes, your grace! thank you, sir!" tracy laid twenty guineas before him. "that is for your expenses. remember this: the sooner the thing is done, the more certain are your fifty guineas. that is all. have you any questions to ask?" harper cudgelled his still dazed brain, and finding none, shook his head. "no, your grace." "then you may go." the man bowed himself out, clutching his guineas. he was comparatively a newcomer in his grace's service, and he was by no means accustomed to the duke's lightning method of conducting his affairs. he was not sure that he quite appreciated it. but fifty guineas were fifty guineas. chapter xxi mrs. fanshawe lights a fire and o'hara fans the flame richard carstares very soon availed himself of mrs. fanshawe's permission to call upon her, and duly put in an appearance at no. 16, mount street. he found the house very tastefully appointed, the sister elderly and good-natured, and the widow herself an excellent hostess. the first time he called he was not the only visitor; two ladies whom he did not know and a young cousin were already there, and later, a bowing acquaintance, mr. standish, also arrived. seeing that he would have no opportunity to talk with the widow on the subject of his brother, he very soon took his leave, promising to wait upon her again at no very distant date. when, three days later, he again sent in his name and was admitted, he found the lady alone, and was gratified to hear her order the servant to deny her to all other visitors. he bowed over her hand and hoped she was well. mrs. fanshawe drew him down beside her on the settee. "i am very well, mr. carstares. and you?" "also," he smiled, but his looks belied his words. she told him so, laughing, and he pleaded a worried week. "well, sir, i presume you did not come to talk to me about your health, but about my friend--eh?" "i assure--" "remember, no vapid compliments!" she besought. "then, madam, yes. i want to hear about--ferndale. you see, i--like you--took a great interest in him." she sent him a shrewd glance, and nodded. "of course. i will tell you all i know, mr. carstares, but it is not very much, and maybe you will be disappointed. but i only knew him the short time we were both in vienna, and--he was not very communicative." "ah!--he did not confide in you, madam?" "no. if one attempted to draw his confidence, he became a polite iceberg." "nevertheless, madam, please tell me all that you know." "it will not take long, i fear. i met him in '48 at vienna, in the prater, where i was walking with my husband, who had come to vienna for his health. i chanced to let fall my reticule when sir anthony was passing us, and he picked it up, speaking the most execrable german." she smiled a little at the remembrance. "mr. fanshawe, who had the greatest dislike for all foreigners, was overjoyed to hear the english accent. he induced sir anthony to continue his walk with us, and afterwards he called at our lodgings. i think he, too, was glad to meet a fellow-countryman, for he came often, and once when i had been talking with him for some time he let fall--what shall i say?--his reserve--his guard--and told me that he had scarcely spoken his own language for four years. afterwards he seemed to regret having said even that much, and turned the subject." she paused and looked up to see if her auditor was interested. "yes, yes?" urged richard. "and then?" "i do not remember. he came, as i said, often, mostly to talk to my husband, who was a great invalid, but sometimes to see me. he would hardly ever speak of england--i think he did not trust himself. he never mentioned any relations or any english friends, and when i spoke of home, he would shut his mouth very tightly, and look terribly sad. i saw that for some reason the subject pained him, so i never spoke of it if i could help it. "he was a most entertaining companion, mr. carstares; he used to tell my husband tales that made him laugh as i had not heard him laugh for months. he was very lively, very witty, and almost finickingly well dressed, but what his occupation was i could not quite ascertain. he said he was a gentleman of leisure, but i do not think he was at all wealthy. he frequented all the gaming houses, and i heard tales of his marvellous luck, so one day i taxed him with it, and he laughed and said he lived by chance--he meant dice. yet i know, for i once had conversation with his servant, that his purse was at times very, very slender." "the time he aided you, mrs. fanshawe, when was that?" she flushed. "that was a few months after we first met him. i was--foolish; my married life was not--very happy, and i was--or, rather, i fancied myself--in love with an austrian nobleman, who--who--well, sir, suffice it that i consented to dine with him one evening. i found then that he was not the _galant homme_ i had thought him, but something quite different. i do not know what i should have done had not sir anthony arrived." "he did arrive then?" "yes. you see, he knew that this austrian had asked me to dine--i told him--and he counselled me to refuse. but i--well, sir, i have told you, i was young and very foolish--i would not listen. when he called at our house and found that i was out, he at once guessed where i had gone, and he followed me to the count's house, gave an austrian name, and was announced just as the count tried to--tried to--kiss me. i think i shall never forget the relief of that moment! he was so safe, and so english! the count was furious, and at first i thought he would have his lackeys throw anthony out. but when he heard all that anthony had to say, he realised that it was useless to try to detain me--and i was taken home. anthony was very kind--he did not scold, neither had he told my husband. two days after, he and the count fought a duel, and the count was wounded in the lung. that was all. but it made me very grateful to him and interested in his affairs. mr. fanshawe left vienna a few weeks after that, and i have never seen my _preux chevalier_ since." she sighed and looked steadily across at carstares. "and you--you are so like him!" "you think so, madam?" was all he could find to say. "i do, sir. and something more, which, perhaps, you will deem an impertinence. is anthony your brother?" the suddenness of the attack threw carstares off his guard. he went white. "madam!" "please be not afraid that mine is the proverbial woman's tongue, sir. it does not run away with me, i assure you. when i saw you the other night for the first time, i was struck by the resemblance, and i asked my partner, mr. stapely, who you were. he told me, and much more beside, which i was not at the time desirous of hearing." "trust will stapely!" exclaimed richard, and mentally cursed the amiable gossip-monger. "among other things he told me of your elder brother-who--who--in fact, he told me the whole story. of course, my mind instantly leapt to my poor sir anthony, despite that in appearance he is younger than you. was i right?" richard rose to his feet and walked away to the window, standing with his back to her. "ay!" "i was sure of it," she nodded. "so that was why he would not speak of england? poor boy!" richard's soul writhed under the lash of her pity. "so he will always be outcast," she continued. "alone, unhappy, without friends--" "no!" he cried, turning. "'fore gad, no, madam!" "will society--cruel, hard society--receive him, then?" she asked. "society will--one day--receive him, mrs. fanshawe. you will see." "i long for that day," she sighed. "i wish i had it in my power to help him--to repay in part the debt i owe him." at that he lifted his head. "my brother, madam, would count it not a debt, but an honour," he answered proudly. "yes," she smiled. "you are like him; when you speak like that you might almost be he." "he is worth a thousand of me, mrs. fanshawe!" he replied vehemently, and broke off, staring down at the table. "and his name?" she asked softly. "john anthony st. ervine delaney carstares," he said, "earl of wyncham." "so the anthony was real! i am so glad, for he would always be anthony to me." there was a long silence, broken at last by the lady. "i fear i have made you sad, mr. carstares. you will drink a dish of bohea with me, before you go? and we will not speak of this again." "you are very good, madam. believe me, i am grateful to you for telling me all that you have. i beg you will allow me to wait on you again ere long?" "i shall be honoured, sir. i am nearly always at home to my friends." her sister entered the room soon after, and private conversation came to an end. carstares lay awake long that night, hearing the hours toll by and the owls screech in the square. the widow's words had sunk deep into his ever-uneasy conscience, and he could not sleep for the thought of john, "alone, unhappy, without friends." ... time after time had he argued this question with himself: john or lavinia? ... he fell to wondering where his brother now was; whether he was still roaming the south country, a highwayman. no one would ever know how he, richard, dreaded each fresh capture made by the military. every time he expected john to be among the prisoners, and he visited newgate so often that his friends twitted him on it, vowing he had selwyn's love of horrors. he would argue that the matter rested in john's own hands: if he were minded to come back to society, he would do so; but deep within himself he knew that such a decision was unworthy of one even so debased as was he. then his mind went to lavinia, who alternately enchanted and exasperated him. only a week ago she had defied him openly in the matter of her friendship with lovelace, yet had she not afterwards apologised, and thrust the captain aside for his sake? she was so sweetly naughty, so childishly unreasonable. selfish? yes, he supposed so, but he loved her!--loved her so greatly that it were a pleasure to him to die for her sake. yet john--john was his brother--the adored elder brother, and by obeying lavinia he was wronging him, hurting him. if only lavinia would consent to the truth being told! it always came back to that point: if only she would consent. and she never would. she insisted that, having married her under false pretences, he had no right to disgrace her now. she was right, he knew, but he wished she could be for once unselfish. so he worried on through the night, tossing to and fro in his great bed, a weight on his mind, a ceaseless ache in his heart. towards dawn he fell asleep and did not wake again until his chocolate was brought to him. bitterly he reflected that at least john had no conscience to prey upon him; he did not fall asleep with his brain seething with conflicting arguments, and awake with the decision as far off as ever. to-day his head ached unbearably, and he stayed in bed for some time contemplating the grey morning. a fog hung over the square, and through it the trees, with their withered autumn leaves, loomed dismally before the windows. there was something infinitely depressing about the dull outlook, and presently he rose and allowed his valet to dress him, not able to stand the inaction any longer. his headache was better by the time he had visited his wife in her room, and listened to her enthusiastic account of last night's rout, and, going out into the square, he called a chair, ordering the men to carry him to white's, where he intended to write two letters. somehow, wyncham house was too poignantly full of memories of john to-day, and he was thankful to be out of it. white's was crowded even at that hour of the morning, and the noise seemed to cut through his head. men hailed him from all sides, offering him bets; someone tried to tell him some piece of scandal; they would not let him alone, and at last his jagged nerves would no longer support it, and he left the house to go further down the street to his other club, the cocoa-tree, which he hoped to find less rowdy. it was fuller than he expected, but many of the men had come as he had, to write letters and to be quiet. very little gaming was as yet in swing. richard wrote steadily for perhaps an hour, and sealed his last letter preparatory to leaving. as he affixed the wafer, he was conscious of a stir behind him, and heard exclamations of: "where in thunder did you spring from?" "gad, 'tis an age since i've seen you!" "lord, 'tis o'hara!" then came the soft irish voice in answer, and he slewed round in his chair to face them all. miles o'hara was the centre of a little group of interested and welcoming clubmen, explaining his arrival. "sure, i was in town on a matter of business, and i thought i must come to the club to see ye all while i was here, for 'tis not often i get the chance--" richard rose, gathering up his letters and stared across at this man who had been jack's greatest friend. he took a step towards him. as he did so, o'hara turned and caught sight of him. richard was about to hail him, when he suddenly noticed the change in his expression. the good humour died out of the irishman's eyes and left them hard and scornful. his pleasant mouth curved into a disdainful line. carstares stood still, one hand on the back of a chair, his eyes rivetted to o'hara's face, reading all the reproach, the red-hot anger that miles was trying to convey to him. o'hara achieved a sneer and turned his shoulder, continuing to address his friends. richard's head swam. o'hara was ignoring him, would not speak to him.... o'hara knew the truth! he walked blindly to the door, and groped for the handle.... o'hara knew! he was in the passage, on the front steps, in the road, shuddering. o'hara knew, and he had looked at him as if--as if--again he shuddered, and seeing an empty chair, hailed it, bidding the men carry him to grosvenor square.... o'hara despised him!--reproached him! then jack was in trouble? he had seen him and learnt the truth? god, but his brain was reeling! ... chapter xxii developments after the encounter with o'hara, whatever peace of mind richard had had, left him. he knew not a moment's quiet; all day, and sometimes all night, his brain worried round and round the everlasting question: john or lavinia? he had quite decided that it must be either the one or the other; the idea that he might conceivably retain his wife _and_ confess the truth, never occurred to him. so often had lavinia assured him that he had no right to expect her to share his disgrace, that now he believed it. he thought that she would elope with lovelace, whom, his tortured mind decided, she really loved. any attempt to frustrate such an action would, he supposed wretchedly, be the essence of selfishness. of course he was not himself, and his brain was not working normally or rationally; had he but known it, he was mentally ill, and if lavinia had thought to examine him closely she could not have failed to observe the fever spots on each cheek, the unnaturally bright eyes and the dark rings encircling them. richard wore the look of one goaded beyond endurance, and utterly tired and overwrought. as he told mrs. fanshawe, when she exclaimed at his appearance--he could not rest; he must always be moving, thinking. she saw that he was not entirely himself, and counselled him to consult a doctor. his half-angry repudiation of all illness did not surprise her, but she was considerably startled when, in answer to her pleading that he should have a care for himself, he vehemently said: "if i could die, i should be glad!" she wondered what his wife was about not to see his condition, and wished that she might do something. but she was not acquainted with lady lavinia, and she felt it would be a piece of gross presumption on her part to speak to her of richard. if she had thought his malady to be physical, she reflected, she might venture a word, but as she perceived it to be mental, she could only hope that it would pass in time, and that he would recover from his run-down condition. lady lavinia was pursuing her butterfly existence, heeding nothing but her own pleasure, bent on enjoying herself. she succeeded very well, on the whole, but she could not help wishing that dicky were a little more cheerful and wishful to join in her gaiety. of late he was worse than ever, and although he supplied her wants uncomplainingly, she would almost rather he had refused her and shown a little life, than give way to her with this dreadful apathy. lovelace was out of town for a week, and lavinia was surprised to find how little she missed him. to be sure, playing with fire was very pleasant, but when it was removed out of her reach, it really made no odds. she missed harry's adulation and his passionate love-making, for she was one of those women who must always have admiration and excitement, but she was not made miserable by his absence. she continued to flutter round to all the entertainments of the season with one or other of her brothers, and when lovelace returned he was disturbed by her casual welcome. however, she was undoubtedly pleased to see him, and soon fell more or less under his spell, allowing him to be by her side when tracy was not near, and to charm her ears with compliments and gallantry. to do him justice, captain harold was really in love with her and was quite ready to relinquish his commission if only she would run away with him. he had private means of his own, and promised her that her every whim should be satisfied. but lavinia scolded him and shook her head. apart from any ulterior consideration, richard was, after all, her husband; he, too, loved her, and she was very, very fond of him, although she did plague him dreadfully. lovelace assured her that her husband did not love her nearly as much as he, and when she smiled her disbelief, lost his temper and cried that all the town knew carstares to be at mrs. fanshawe's feet! lavinia stiffened. "harold!" "i am only surprised that you have been blind to it," he continued. "where do you think he goes every day for so long? white's? no. to 16, mount street! stapely called there and met him; another day lady davenant saw him with her; wilding has also met him at her house. he spends nearly every afternoon with her!" lavinia was a belmanoir, and she had all the belmanoir pride. rising to her feet she drew her cloak about her with her most queenly air. "you forget yourself, harold," she said haughtily. "never dare to speak to me of my husband again in that tone! you may take me at once to my brother." he was very penitent, wording his apology most cleverly, smoothing her ruffled plumage, withdrawing his words, but at the same time contriving to leave their sting behind. she forgave him, yes, but he must never offend her so again. although she had indignantly refused to believe the scandal, it nevertheless rankled, and she found herself watching her husband with jealous eyes, noticing his seeming indifference towards her and his many absences from home. then came a day when she caused her chair to be borne down mount street at the very moment when richard was coming out of no. 16. that was enough for lavinia. so he was indeed tired of her! he loved another woman!--some wretched widow! for the first time a real worry plagued her. she stayed at home that evening and exerted all her arts to captivate her husband. but richard, seeing john unhappy, reproachful, every way he turned, his head on fire, his brain seething with conflicting arguments, hardly noticed her, and as soon as he might politely do so, left her, to pace up and down the library floor, trying to make up his mind what to do. lady lavinia was stricken with horror. she had sickened him by her megrims, as tracy had prophesied she would! he no longer cared for her! _this_ was why he continually excused himself from accompanying her when she went out! for once in her life she faced facts, and the prospect alarmed her. if it was not already too late, she must try to win back his love, and to do this she realised she must cease to tease him for money, and also cease to snap at him whenever she felt at all out of sorts. she must charm him back to her. she had no idea how much she cared for him until now that she thought he did not care for her. it was dreadful: she had always been so sure of dicky! whatever she did, however exasperating she might be, he would always adore her. and all the time, richard, far from making love to mrs. fanshawe, was hearing anecdotes of his brother from her, little details of his appearance, things he had said. he drank in all the information, clutching eagerly at each fresh scrap of gossip, greedy to hear it if it in any way concerned john. his brain was absorbed with this one subject, and he never saw when lavinia smiled upon him, nor did he seem to hear her coaxing speeches. when she remarked, as she presently did, on his pallor, he almost snapped at her, and left the room. once she put her arms about him and kissed him on the lips; he put her gently aside, too worried to respond to the caress, but, had she known it--grateful for it. his grace of andover meeting his sister at ranelagh gardens, thought her face looked pinched, and her eyes unhappy. he inquired the reason, but lady lavinia refused to confide even in him, and pleaded a headache. andover, knowing her, imagined that she had been refused some kickshaw, and thought no more about it. he himself was very busy. only two days before a groom had presented himself at st. james's square, bearing a missive from harper, very illegible and ill-spelt, but to the point: "yr. grace, "i have took the liberty of engageing this man, douglas, in yr. name. i hope i shall soon be able to have carrid out the rest of yr. grace's instructions, and trust my connduct will met with yr. grace's approvall. very obed'tly, m. harper." * * * * * tracy confirmed the engagement and straightway dispatched the man to andover, where the head groom would undoubtedly find work for him to do. he was amused at the blind way in which the man had walked into his trap, and meditated cynically on the frailty of human nature, which will always follow the great god mammon. not three days later came another letter, this time from mr. beauleigh, addressed to him at white's, under the name of sir hugh grandison. it asked for the man harper's character. his grace of andover answered it in the library of his own home, and smiled sarcastically as he wrote harper down "exceeding honest and trustworthy, as i have always found." he was in the middle of the letter when the door was unceremoniously pushed open and andrew lounged into the room. his grace looked up frowning. not a whit dismayed by the coolness of his reception, his brother kicked the door to and lowered his long limbs into a chair. "may i ask to what i owe the honour of this intrusion?" smiled tracy dangerously. "richard," was the cheerful reply, "richard." "as i am not interested in either him or his affairs--" "how truly amiable you are to-day! but i think you'll be interested in this, 'tis so vastly mysterious." "indeed? what is the matter?" "just what i want to know!" tracy sighed wearily. "pray come to the point, andrew--if point there be. i have no time to waste." "lord! busy? working? god ha' mercy!" the young rake stretched his legs out before him and cast his eyes down their shapeliness. then he stiffened and sat up, staring at one white-stockinged ankle. "now, damn and curse it! where did that come from?" he expostulated mildly. "where did _what_ come from?" "that great splash of mud on my leg. brand new on this morning, and i've scarce set my nose without doors. damn it, i say! a brand new--" "leg?" "hey? what's that you say?" "nought. when you have quite finished your eulogy, perhaps you would consent to tell me your errand?" "oh, ay!--but twenty shillings the pair! think of it! ... well, the point--there is one, you see--is this: it is richard's desire that you honour him with your presence at wyncham on friday week, at three in the afternoon exactly. to which effect he sends you this." he tossed a letter on to the desk. "you are like to have the felicity of meeting me there." tracy ripped open the packet and spread the single sheet on the desk before him. he read it through very deliberately, turned it over, as if in search of more, re-read it, folded it, and dropped it into the wastebasket at his side. he then picked up his quill and dipped it in the ink again. "what think you?" demanded andrew, impatiently. his grace wrote tranquilly on to the end of the line. "what think i of what?" "why, the letter, of course! what ails the man? 'something of great import to impart to us,' forsooth! what means he?" "yes, i noticed 'twas very badly worded," commented tracy. "i have not the vaguest notion as to his meaning." "but what do you make of it? lord, tracy, don't be such a fish! dick is summoning quite a party!" "you appear to be in his confidence, my dear andrew. allow me to congratulate you. no doubt we shall know more--ah--on friday week, at three o'clock." "oh, you'll go, then?" "quite possibly." he went on writing unconcernedly. "and you've no idea of what 'tis about? dick is very strange. he hardly listens to what one has to say, and fidget--lord!" "ah!" "i think he looks ill, an' 'pon my soul, so does lavvy! do you suppose there is aught amiss?" "i really have no idea. pray do not let me detain you." andrew hoisted himself out of his chair. "oh, i'm not staying, never fear! ... i suppose you cannot oblige me with--say--fifty guineas?" "i should be loth to upset your suppositions," replied his grace sweetly. "you will not? well, i didn't think you would somehow! but i wish you might contrive to let me have it, tracy. i've had prodigious ill-luck of late, and the lord knows 'tis not much i get from you! i don't want to ask dick again." "i should not let the performance grow monotonous, certainly," agreed the other. "fifty, you said?" "forty-five would suffice." "oh, you may have it!" shrugged his grace. "at once?" "blister me, but that's devilish good of you, tracy! at once would be convenient to _me_!" his grace produced a key from his vest pocket and unlocked a drawer in the desk. from it he took a small box. he counted out fifty guineas, and added another to the pile. andrew stared at it. "what's that for?" he inquired. "the stockings," replied tracy, with a ghost of a smile. andrew burst out laughing. "that's good! gad! but you're devilish amusing, 'pon rep. you are!" he thanked his grace profusely and gathering up the money, left the room. outside he gave vent to a low whistle of astonishment. "tare an' ouns! he must be monstrous well-pleased over something!" he marvelled. "i shall awaken soon, i doubt not." he chuckled a little as he descended the staircase, but his face was full of wonderment. * * * * * lovelace called nearly every day at wyncham house, but was always refused admittance, as lady lavinia deemed it prudent not to see him. there came a day, however, when he would not be gainsaid, and was ushered into her drawing-room. he kissed her hands lingeringly, holding them for a long while in his. "lavinia! cruel fair one!" she drew her hands away, not too well pleased at his intrusion. "how silly, harold! i cannot have you tease me every day!" she allowed him to sit by her on the window seat, and he again possessed himself of her hands. did she love him? she hoped he was not going to be foolish. of course not. he did not believe her, and started to plead his suit, imploring her to come away with him. in vain lady lavinia begged him to be quiet; she had stirred up a blaze, and it threatened to consume her. he was so insistent that, expecting richard at any moment, and terrified lest there should be a disturbance, she promised to give him an answer next evening, at the theatre. she managed to be rid of him in this way, and, with a relieved sigh, watched him walk down the square. she was very fond of dear harry, but really, he was dreadfully tiresome at times. she brought her tiny mirror out from her pocket and surveyed her reflection critically, giving a tweak to one curl, and smoothing another back. she was afraid she was looking rather old this evening, and hoped that richard would not think so. she glanced up at the clock, wondering where he was; surely he should be in by now? then she arranged a chair invitingly, pushed a stool up to it and sat down opposite. with a sigh, she reflected that it was an entirely new departure for her to strive to please and captivate her husband, and she fell a-thinking of how he must have waited on her in the old days, waiting as she was waiting now--hoping for her arrival. lady lavinia was beginning to realise that perhaps dick's life had not been all roses with her as wife. the door opened and richard came into the room. deep lines were between his brows, but his mouth was for once set firmly. he looked sombrely down at her, thinking how very beautiful she was. lady lavinia smiled and nodded towards the chair she had prepared. "sit down, dicky! i am so glad you have come! i was monstrous dull and lonely, i assure you!" "were you?" he said, fidgeting with her scissors. "no, i will not sit down. i have something to say to you, lavinia. something to tell you." "oh, _have_ you?" she asked. "something nice, dicky?" "i fear you will hardly think so. i am about to make an end." "oh--oh, are you? of _what_?" "of this--this deceitful life i am leading--have been leading. i--i--i am going to confess the whole truth." "rich-ard!" he let fall the scissors and paced restlessly away down the room. "i--i tell you, lavinia, i cannot endure it! i cannot! i cannot! the thought of what john may be bearing is driving me crazy! i must speak!" "you--you can't!" she gasped. "after seven years! dicky, for heaven's sake--!" the colour ebbed and flowed in her cheeks. "i cannot continue any longer this living of a lie--i have been feeling it more and more ever since--ever since i met--jack--that time on the road. and now i can no longer stand it. everywhere i go i seem to see him--looking at me--you don't understand--" lavinia cast aside her work. "no! no! i do not! 'pon rep., but you should have thought of this before, dick!" "i know it. nothing can excuse my cowardice--my weakness. i know all that, but it is not too late even now to make amends. in a week they will all know the truth." "what--what do you mean?" "i have requested all whom it concerns to come to wyncham the friday after this." "good heavens! dick, dick, _think_!" "i have thought. god! _how_ i have thought!" "it is not fair to me! oh, think of your honour--wyncham!" "my honour is less than nothing. 'tis of his that i think." she sprang up, clutching at his arm, shaking him. "richard, you are mad! you must not do this! you must not, i say!" "i implore you, lavinia, not to try to make me change my decision. it is of no use. nothing you can say will make any difference." she flew into a passion, flinging away from him, her good resolutions forgotten. "you have no right to disgrace me! if you do it, i will never forgive you! i won't stay with you--i--" he broke in--this was what he had expected; he must not whine; this was retribution. "i know. i have faced that." she was breathless for a moment. he knew! he had faced it! he had taken her seriously--he always expected her to leave him! oh, he must indeed be tired of her, and wanted her to go! what was he saying? "i know that you love lovelace. i--i have known it for some time." lavinia sank into the nearest chair. to what depths had her folly led her? "i shall put no obstacle in the way of your flight, of course...." this was dreadful! lady lavinia buried her face in her hands and burst into tears. it was true then--he did not love her--he loved mrs. fanshawe--_she_ was to elope. she sobbed pitifully as the full horror of the situation struck her. the temptation to gather her into his arms almost overmastered richard, but he managed to choke it down. if he allowed himself to kiss her, she would try to break his resolution--mayhap, she would succeed. so he looked away from her, tortured by the sound of her crying. lavinia wept on, longing to feel his arms about her, ready to consent to anything if only he would show that he loved her. but when he made no movement towards her, pride came back, and flicking her handkerchief across her eyes, she rose to her feet. "you are cruel!--cruel!--cruel! if you do this thing i _shall_ leave you!" now surely he would say something--contradict her! with an immense effort, richard controlled himself. "i am--sorry--lavinia," he said in a queer, constrained voice. it was of no avail. she had killed his love, and he was longing to be rid of her. she walked to the door, and turned. "i see that you do not love me," she said, with deadly calmness. "i understand perfectly." then, as she wrenched the handle round: "i hate you!" she cried, and fled, her silken skirts rustling furiously down the corridor. a door slammed in the distance, and there was silence. carstares stood very still, staring down at her crumpled broidery. presently he stooped to pick it up, and her violet scent was wafted up to him. he carried it to his lips, passionately. if lavinia had been able to see him, it would have changed the whole state of affairs; as it was she locked herself into her room and continued her cry in private. when she had no more tears to shed, she sat up and tried to think that she wanted to elope. harold would be very good to her, she was sure, and she would doubtless lead a very exciting life, but--somehow the more she thought of it, the less she wanted to elope. then she remembered that dicky--why had she never realised how much she cared for him?--was in love with some horrid widow, and did not want her to remain with him. the idea was not to be borne, she was not going to be the unwanted wife. she would have to go away, though not with lovelace. dicky should _not_ force her to elope with another man. she would go somewhere alone--she had forgotten--she had no money. the dowry that had been hers was spent years ago. she was utterly dependent on her husband. that settled it: she _must_ elope with harry! "oh, was anyone ever so beset!" she sobbed as her misery swept in upon her with full force. "why should i run away if i don't want to?" chapter xxiii lady lavinia goes to the play richard was away from home all next day, and his wife had plenty of time in which to meditate upon her situation. she had quite come to the conclusion that she must elope with lovelace, and was only waiting for to-night to tell him so. she would never, never ask richard to let her stay with him now that she knew he loved another. truly a most trying predicament. the carstares were going to-night to drury lane to see garrick play one of his most successful comedies: the _beaux' stratagem_. the _monde_ that would flock to see the inimitable archer was likely to be a very distinguished one, especially as the cast held the added attraction of mrs. clive, and ordinarily lady lavinia would have looked forward with much excitement to seeing the piece. to-day, however, she felt that she would far rather go to bed and cry. but lovelace had to be answered, and besides that, she had invited two cousins, new come from scotland, to accompany her, and she could not fail them. so that evening saw her seated in her box, wonderfully gowned as usual, scanning the house. behind her stood her husband--when she thought that this was the last time she would ever go with him to the theatre she had much ado to keep from bursting into tears before them all--and in the chair at her side was the cousin, mrs. fleming. mr. fleming stood with his hands behind his back, exclaiming every now and then as his kinsman, young charles holt, pointed out each newcomer of note. he was a short, tubby little man, dressed in sober brown, very neat as regards his wrists and neckband, but attired, so thought lavinia, for the country, and not for town. his dark suit contrasted strangely with mr. holt's rather garish mixture of apple-green and pink, with waistcoat of yellow, and richard's quieter, but far more handsome apricot and silver. his wig, too, was not at all modish, being of the scratch type that country gentlemen affected. his wife was the reverse of smart, but she was loud in her admiration of her more affluent cousin's stiff silks and laces. she had married beneath her, had mrs. fleming, and the belmanoirs had never quite forgiven the shocking _mesalliance_. william fleming was nought but a simple scotsman, whose father--even now the family shuddered at the thought--had been a farmer! lavinia was not over-pleased that they should have elected to visit london, and still less pleased that they should evince such an affection for the hon. richard and his wife. "well, to be sure, lavvy, 'tis pleasant to sit here and admire all the people!" exclaimed mrs. fleming, for perhaps the twentieth time. "i declare i am grown positively old-fashioned from having lived for so long in the country!--yes, my dear, positively old-fashioned! ... i cannot but marvel at the great hoops everyone is wearing! i am sure mine is not half the size of yours, and the lady down there in the stage-box has one even larger!" lavinia directed her gaze towards the box in question. at any other time she would have been annoyed to see that the occupant was lady carlyle, her pet rival in all matters of fashion. now she felt that nothing signified, and merely remarked that she considered those absurd garlands of roses on the dress quite grotesque. behind, holt was directing mr. fleming's attention to a box at the back of the house. "'pon my soul, william! 'tis the duchess of queensberry and her son--march, you know. i assure you there is no one more amiable in town. when i last visited her--" "charles knows well-nigh everyone here," remarked mrs. fleming ingenuously, and wondered why her cousin laughed. when the curtain rose on the first act, lovelace was nowhere to be seen, and lavinia tried to interest herself in the play. but it is difficult to be interested in anything when one's whole mind is occupied with something else far more overwhelming. she was not the only one of the party that garrick failed to amuse. richard sat wretchedly in the shadow of the box, thinking how, in a short while, he would never again conduct his wife to the theatre and never again sit at her side watching her every change of expression. in the first interval lovelace had still not arrived, but many other acquaintances had arrived and called to see the carstares. markham, wilding, devereux, sir john fortescue--all came into the box at different times, paid homage to lavinia, were introduced to mrs. fleming, laughed and cracked jokes with the men, and drifted away again. how was it she had never before realised how much she enjoyed her life? wondered lavinia. she settled down to listen to the second act, and garrick's skill caught her interest and held it. for a moment she forgot her woes and clapped as heartily as anyone, laughing as gaily. the next instant she remembered again, and sank back into unutterable gloom. but richard had heard her merry laugh, and his heart was even gloomier than hers. there was no help for it: lavinia was delighted at the thought of leaving him. as the curtain fell, mrs. fleming suddenly demanded if it was not tracy seated in the box over on the other side. lavinia turned to look. in the box, alone, sat his grace, seemingly unaware of her presence. "is it not tracy?" persisted mrs. fleming. "i remember his face so well." "yes," nodded lavinia, and waved to him. andover rose, bowed, and left his box. in a few moments he was in their own, kissing his cousin's hand. lavinia now caught sight of lovelace standing on the floor of the theatre looking up at her. he, too, disappeared from view, and she guessed that he was coming to speak with her. he had evidently failed to perceive the duke, who was just a little behind her in the shadow. richard and mr. fleming had left the box, and only charles holt remained, engaging mrs. fleming's whole attention. if only tracy would go! how was she ever to give lovelace her answer with him sitting there so provokingly. captain lovelace knocked at the door. carelessly she bade him enter, and affected surprise on seeing him. his grace looked at her through narrowed lids, and shot a swift glance at lovelace, whose discomfiture at finding him there was palpable. not a trace of emotion was visible on that impassive countenance, but lavinia felt her brother's attitude to be sinister, as if he divined her wishes and was determined to frustrate them. she watched him smile on lovelace and beg him to be seated. whether by accident or design, she was not sure which, he had so placed the chairs that he himself was between her and the captain. skilfully he drew mrs. fleming into the conversation, and rearranged his stage. lavinia found herself listening to the amiable mr. holt, and out of the tail of her eye observed that lovelace had fallen a victim to her cousin. she could find no way of speaking to him, and dared not even signal, so adroitly was his grace stage-managing the scene. lavinia was now quite certain that he was managing it. somehow he had guessed that she had arranged to speak to lovelace to-night, and was determined to prevent her. how he had found out, she could not imagine, but she was too well acquainted with him to be surprised. he would never let her disgrace herself if he could help it--she knew that. in whatever manner he himself might behave, his sister's conduct must be above reproach; he would find some means of separating them until he could cause lovelace to be removed. she did not in the least know how he would contrive to do this, but she never doubted that he could and would. and then she would have to stay with richard--richard, who did not want her. if only tracy would go! ah! he was rising! his grace of andover begged captain lovelace to bear him company in his box. he would brook no refusal. he bore his captive off in triumph. a minute later mr. fleming re-entered the box. the third act had just begun when richard re-appeared, and softly took his seat. on went the play. neither tracy nor lovelace came to the box during the next interval, and from her point of vantage lavinia could see that andrew had been introduced to the latter. she could guess how cleverly his grace was keeping the captain by him.... lord avon, who had only a week ago returned from bath, came to pay his respects. he had much to tell dear lady lavinia. how cholmondely and falmouth had dared to fight a duel in crescent fields, and had been arrested. how furious the beau was, but how his age was beginning to tell on him, and how it was whispered that his power was waning. all of which at any ordinary time would have interested my lady quite prodigiously, but now bored and even annoyed her. on went the play. scrub and boniface kept the house in a roar; all but richard and his wife were enthralled. the incomparable kitty failed to hold lavinia's attention. would lovelace manage to speak to her in the last interval? a solicitous enquiry from mrs. fleming roused her, and she had perforce to smile--to own to a slight headache, and to evince some interest in the play. one more interval: would he come? she became aware of a hand laid on her shoulder. richard's voice, gravely courteous, sounded in her ears. "you are heated, my dear. will you walk outside a little?" she felt a mad desire to cling to his hand, and suppressed it forcibly. she rose, hesitating. mrs. fleming decided the point. "the very thing. how considerate of you, mr. carstares! i shall like to walk amongst all the people, to be sure! here is charles offering to escort us, too! what say you, lavvy?" "i--oh, i shall be pleased to do what suits you best, cousin," she answered. "then let us go, my love. charles has an arm for each, so we may leave our husbands to chat." they went out into the broad passage and walked towards the foyer. there lord march espied lavinia, who was always a favourite with him, and came forward, offering his arm. lavinia took it, thankful to escape from mr. holt's vapid conversation. she let march conduct her to where his mother was sitting, with mr. selwyn at her elbow. someone fetched her a glass of ratafie, and montagu came to talk to her. stepping out of his box, richard fell into the arms of his grace of andover. "ah! dick!" richard eyed him coldly. "you wanted me?" tracy saw mr. fleming approaching "only to ask if i may return with you to grosvenor square. i have something important to say." "certainly," bowed richard, and turned aside. lovelace, who had succeeded in escaping from the belmanoir claws, hurried in search of lavinia. not finding her in her box, he gathered she must be in the foyer and made his way towards it. as soon as she saw him coming she set down her glass and rose to her feet. "oh, captain lovelace! have you come to fetch me back to my seat? i have scarce set eyes on you this evening. no, markham, you may _not_ come! no, nor you, my lord! madam--" she curtsied low to the old duchess and walked away on harold's arm. when they were once in the deserted passage behind the boxes, he turned eagerly towards her. "well, my dearest? well?" lady lavinia's mouth drooped miserably. "yes," she said, "i shall have to come with you." the tone was damping, to say the least of it, but he did not seem to notice it. "lavinia! you mean it?" "yes," she assented, still more dejectedly. "my beautiful love! you will really come? when? at once?" "at--oh, no, no!" "darling, the sooner the better. i understand 'tis a great step to expect you to take in a hurry, but i assure you 'tis wisest. can you come to-morrow?" her big eyes dilated. "no! no! i--oh, i cannot leave dicky so soon!" she ended with a sob. "but, lavinia, my dearest! you surely do not want to _stay_ with him?" he cried. "yes i do!" she answered. "i--i don't want ever to leave him!" this blighting speech left him gasping. "you--but--heavens! what are you saying? you love _me_!" "no, i don't!" she contradicted. "i always s-said i d-didn't. i love my husband!" "you are distraught!" he exclaimed. "if you love him, why do you consent to elope with me?" she looked at him reproachfully. "there is no one else," she said mournfully. "good lord! what--" "i have to elope with someone--because--dick--d-doesn't love me any more--you see. i will come with you, and i will try to be good." he kissed her hand quickly "sweetheart! ... i still think you are not yourself. you will think differently to-morrow--you do not really love carstares." she shut her mouth obstinately, tilting her regal little head. he watched her anxiously. "if you really do love him, 'tis ridiculous to elope with me," he said. her fingers tightened on his wrist. "but i must! you don't understand, harry! you _must_ take me! don't you want me?" "of course i do, but not if you are longing to be somewhere else all the time. the whole thing seems preposterous!" "'tis all dreadful!--dreadful! i have never been so unhappy in my life! i--oh, i wish i had not been so heedless and selfish!" lovelace pondered for a moment, as they stood outside her box; then, seeing that people were returning to their seats, he opened the door and took her in. "listen, dear! this is the maddest scheme ever i heard; but if you are determined, you shall carry it through. come to my lodgings to-morrow evening! bring as little baggage as possible; i will have all ready, and we will post at once to dover. then in time i hope you will forget richard and come to care for me a little." "you are very, very good, harry! yes, i will do just as you say and, oh, i am sorry to put you out like this! i am nought but a plague to everyone, and i wish i were dead! you don't really love me, and i shall be a burden!" "i do indeed love you!" he assured her, but within himself he could not help wishing that he had not fallen quite so passionately in love with her. "i'll leave you now, sweet, for your husband will be returning at any moment." he kissed her hands lightly "_a demain_, fairest!" how she sat through the last act lavinia could never afterwards imagine. she was longing to be at home--so soon to be home no longer--and quiet. her head ached now as richard's had ached for weeks. more than anything did she want to rest it against her husband's shoulder, so temptingly near, and to feel his sheltering arms about her. but dick was in love with isabella fanshawe, and she must sit straight and stiff in her chair and smile at the proper places. at last the play was ended! the curtain descended on the bowing archer, and the house stamped and clapped its appreciation. the curtain rose again--what! not finished yet? ah, no! it was but garrick leading mrs. clive forward. would they never have done? mrs. fleming was standing; she supposed they were going, and got up. someone put her cloak about her shoulders; richard--for the last time. mr. holt escorted her to her coach, and put her and her cousin into it. he and mr. fleming had their chairs; so only richard and tracy went with the ladies. the flemings were staying with friends in brook street, just off grosvenor square, so that when they had put harriet down, only a few more yards remained to be covered. lavinia wondered dully why tracy had elected to come with them. what did he want? was he going to warn dick of her intended flight? he little knew the true state of affairs! at the foot of the staircase at wyncham house she turned to say good-night. she merely nodded to tracy, but to dick she extended her hand. he took it in his, kissing it, and she noticed how cold were his fingers, how burning hot his lips. then he released her, and she went slowly up the stairs to her room. his grace watched her through his eyeglass. when she was out of sight he turned and surveyed richard critically. "if that is the way you kiss a woman, lavinia has my sympathies," he remarked. richard's lips tightened. he picked up a stand of lighted candles and ushered his grace into the drawing-room. "i presume you did not come to tell me that?" he asked. "your presumption is correct, richard. i have come to open your eyes." "you are too kind." his grace laid his hat on the table, and sat down on the arm of a chair. "i think perhaps i am. it may interest you to hear that lavinia intends to elope with our gallant friend the captain." richard bowed. "you knew it?" "certainly." andover looked him over. "may i ask what steps you are taking to prevent her?" "none." his grace's expression was quite indescribable. for a moment he was speechless, and then he reverted to heavy sarcasm. "pray remember to be at hand--to conduct her to her chair!" he drawled. "upon my soul, you sicken me! "i am grieved. there is a remedy," replied carstares significantly. tracy ignored the suggestion. "i suppose it is nothing to you that you lose her? no; it is nothing to you that she disgraces her name? oh, no!" "_my_ name, i think." "our name! is it possible for her to disgrace yours?" richard went white and his hand flew instinctively to his sword hilt. tracy looked at him. "do you think i would soil my blade with you?" he asked, very softly. richard's hand fell from the hilt: his eyes searched the other's face. "you know?" he asked at last, quite calmly. "you fool," answered his grace gently. "you fool, do you think i have not always known?" richard leaned against the mantel-shelf. "you never thought i was innocent? you knew that night? you guessed?" the duke sneered. "knowing both, could i suspect other than you?" he asked insultingly. "oh, my god!" cried carstares suddenly. "why could you not have said so before?" the duke's eyes opened wide. "it has chafed you--eh? i knew it would. i've watched you." he chuckled beneath his breath. "and those fools never looked beneath the surface. one and all, they believed that john would cheat. john! they swallowed it tamely and never even guessed at the truth." "you, at least, did not believe?" "i? hardly. knowing you for a weak fool and him for a quixotic fool, i rather jumped to conclusions." "instead, you tried to throw the blame on him. i would to god you had exposed me!" "so you have remarked. i confess i do not understand this heroic attitude. why should i interfere in what was none of my business? what proof had i?" "why did you raise no demur? what motive had you?" "i should have thought it fairly obvious." richard stared at him, puzzled. "gad, richard! but you are singularly obtuse. have i not pointed out that john was a quixotic fool? when did i say he was a weak one?" "you mean--you mean you wanted lavinia to marry me--because you thought to squeeze me as you willed?" asked carstares slowly. his grace's thin nostrils wrinkled up. "you are so crude," he complained. "it suited you that jack should be disgraced? you thought i should seize his money. you--you--" "rogue? but you will admit that i at least am an honest rogue. you are--er--a dishonest saint. i would sooner be what i am." "i know there is nothing on god's earth more vile than i am!" replied carstares, violently. his grace sneered openly. "very pretty, richard, but a little tardy, methinks." he paused, and something seemed to occur to him. "'tis why you purpose to let lavinia go, i suppose? you confess the truth on friday--eh?" richard bowed his head. "i have not the right to stop her. she--chooses her own road." "she knows?" sharply. "she has always known." "the jade! and i never guessed it!" he paused. "yes, i understand your heroic attitude. i am sorry i cannot pander to it. in spite of all this, i cannot permit my sister to ruin herself." "she were as effectually ruined an she stayed with me." "pshaw! after seven years, who is like to care one way or the other which of you cheated? play the man for once and stop her!" "she _loves_ lovelace, i tell you!" "what of it? she will recover from that." "no--i cannot ask her to stay with me--'twould be damnably selfish." his grace appeared exasperated. "'fore gad, you are a fool! ask her! _ask_ her! force her! kick lovelace from your house and abandon the heroic pose, i beg of you!" "do you suppose i want to lose her?" cried carstares. "'tis because i love her so much that i will not stand in the way of her happiness!" the duke flung round and picked up his hat. "i am sorry i cannot join with you in your heroics. i must take the matter into my own hands, as usual, it seems. lord, but you should have learnt to make her obey you, my good dick! she has led you by the nose ever since she married you, and she was a woman who wanted mastering!" he went over to the door and opened it. "i will call upon you to-morrow, when i shall hope to find you more sane. they do not purpose to leave until late, i know, for lovelace is promised to mallaby at three o'clock. there is time in which to act." "i shall not interfere," repeated richard. his grace sneered. "so you have remarked. it remains for me to do. good-night." chapter xxiv richard plays the man lady lavinia's frame of mind when she awoke next morning was hardly befitting one who contemplated an elopement. a weight seemed to rest on her chest, hopeless misery was gathered about her head. she could not bring herself to drink her chocolate, and, feeling that inaction was the worst of all, she very soon crawled out of bed and allowed her maid to dress her. then she went with dragging steps to her boudoir, wondering all the time where richard was and what he was doing. she seated herself at her window and looked out on to the square, biting the edge of her handkerchief in the effort to keep back her tears. richard was in a no more cheerful mood. he, too, left his chocolate untouched, and went presently down to the breakfast table and looked at the red sirloin with a feeling of acute nausea. he managed to drink a cup of coffee, and immediately afterwards left the room and made his way to his wife's boudoir. he told himself he was acting weakly, and had far better avoid her, but in the end he gave way to his longing to see her, and knocked on one white panel. lavinia's heart leapt. how well she knew that knock! "come in!" she called, and tried to compose her features. richard entered and shut the door behind him. "oh--oh--good-morning!" she smiled. "you--wanted to speak with me--dick?" "i--yes--that is--er--have you the carlyles' invitation?" it was, perhaps, an unlucky excuse. lavinia turned away and fought against her tears. "i--i believe--'tis in my--escritoire," she managed to say. "i--i will look for it." she rose and unlocked the bureau, standing with her back to him. "'tis no matter," stammered carstares. "i--only--'twas but that i could not find it. pray do not disturb yourself!" "oh--not--at all," she answered, scattering a handful of letters before her. "yes--here 'tis." she came up to him with the note in her hand, extending it. carstares looked down at the golden head, and at the little face with its eyes cast down, and red mouth set so wistfully. heavens, how could he bear to live without her! mechanically he took the letter. lavinia turned away, and as she stepped from him something snapped in richard's brain. the luckless invitation was flung down. "no, by god you shall not!" he cried suddenly. lavinia stopped, trembling. "oh--oh, what do you mean?" she fluttered. the mists were gone from his mind now, everything was clear. lavinia should not elope with lovelace. in two strides he was at her side, had caught her by the shoulders and swung her to face him. "you shall not leave me! do you understand? i cannot live without you!" lavinia gave a little cry full of relief, joy and wonderment, and shrank against him. "oh, please, please forgive me and keep me with you!" she cried, and clung to the lapels of his coat. carstares swept her right off the ground in the violence of his embrace, but she did not mind, although the crushing was ruinous to her silks. silks were no longer uppermost in her brain. she returned his kisses eagerly, sobbing a little. when carstares was able to say anything beyond how he loved her, he demanded if she did not love him? "of course i do!" she cooed. "i always, always did, only i was so selfish and so careless!" he carried her to the sofa and sat down with her on his knee, trying to look into her face. but she had somehow contrived to hide it on his shoulder, and he did not succeed. "then you never loved that puppy?" he asked, amazed. one hand crept up to his other shoulder. "oh, dicky, no! and--and you--you don't love that horrid mrs. fanshawe, do you?" he was still more amazed. "mrs. fanshawe? great heavens, no! you never thought that, surely?" "i did--i did! since you were always at her house, and so cold to me--how could i help it?" "cold to _you_? my dearest, surely not?" "you were--you truly were--and i was so miserable--i--i thought i had been so unreasonable and so horrid that you had ceased to i-love me--and i did not know what to do. and--and then you told me that you were going to--to confess--and i lost my temper and said i would n-not stay with you--but i never, never meant it--and when you seemed to expect me to go--i--i did not know what to do again!" he patted her shoulder comfortingly. "sweetheart, don't cry! i had no idea of all this--why, i was sure that you loved lovelace--i never doubted it--why in the world did you not tell me the truth?" she sat up at that, and looked at him. "why, how could i?" she demanded. "i was quite certain that you loved isabella fanshawe. i felt i had to go away, and i could not do it alone--so--so--so, of course i had to elope. and i told harold last night that i would go with him--and i'm afraid he didn't quite want me when he heard that i loved you. oh, dicky darling, you'll tell him that i won't go with him, won't you?" he could not help laughing. "ay, i'll tell him. 'pon rep., sweetheart, i can find it in me to be sorry for him!" "oh, he will not mind for long," she said philosophically. "he loves so _easily_, you see! but you, dick--why did you go so often--so _very_ often to see mrs. fanshawe?" his face grew solemn. "she knew--jack--in vienna--i--i wanted to hear all she could tell me of him--i could think of nothing else." "oh, dicky! how--how wickedly foolish i have been! and 'twas that that made you so cold--and i thought--oh, dear!" he drew her head down on to his shoulder again. "my poor love! why, 'tis the kindest lady imaginable, but as to loving her--!" he kissed her hand lingeringly. "i love--and have always loved--a far different being: a naughty, wilful, captivating little person, who--" lady lavinia clasped her arms about his neck. "you make me feel so very, very dreadful! i have indeed been naughty--i--" "and you'll be so many times again," he told her, laughing. "no, no! i--will--try to be good!" "i do not want you good!" richard assured her. "i want you to be your own dear self!" ... lady lavinia disengaged herself with a contented little sigh, and stood up. "how charming it is to be happy again, to be sure!" she remarked naively. "to think that only half an hour ago i was wishing to be dead!" she went over to the glass and straightened her hair. richard looked at her rather anxiously. "lavinia--you--you quite understand, i am going to tell everyone the truth--next friday?" he asked. "yes, i do, of course--'tis dreadfully disagreeable of you, but i suppose you will do it. i do _hope_ people will not refuse to recognise us, though." "no one would ever refuse to recognise you, dearest." she brightened. "do you really think so? well, perhaps after all, 'twill not be so _very_ horrid. and--and you will like to have jack again, won't you? yes--i knew you would. oh, 'twill all be quite comfortable after a little while, i make no doubt!" * * * * * his grace of andover arose betimes, and early sallied forth into the street. he called a chair, and drove to an address in the strand, where lodged a certain colonel shepherd. half-an-hour did he spend with the colonel, and when he at length emerged from the house the curl of his lip betokened satisfaction. he did not at once hail a chair, but walked along in the direction of st. james's, entering the park in company with one dare, who, seven years before, had given a certain memorable card-party. dare was pleasantly intrigued over richard's latest oddity. "have you an idea what 'tis about, belmanoir?" he inquired. "has he written you to come as well?" "i believe i did receive some communication from carstares; yes--i remember, andrew brought it." "well, what does it mean? fortescue is bidden, and davenant. 'tis very curious." "my dear dare, i am not in richard's confidence. we shall doubtless hear all that there is to hear at the given time. mysteries do not interest me. but 'twill be a pleasant reunion.... fortescue and davenant, you say? strange! i have heard that evans and milward have also received their sum--invitations. it should be most entertaining." "'tis prodigious curious," repeated dare. "no one can imagine what 'tis all about!" "ah?" his grace's thin lips twitched. midway through the afternoon he repaired to wyncham house and was ushered into the library. richard sat writing, but rose on seeing him, and came forward. it struck his grace that carstares was looking quite happy. "you seem cheerful, richard!" "i am," smiled his brother-in-law. "i am much relieved to hear it. i have seen shepherd." "shepherd?" interrogated carstares. "lovelace's colonel, my dear richard. you may count on captain harold's departure--on an important mission--in, say, forty-eight hours." "you may count on captain harold's departure in very much less, tracy," said carstares, a twinkle in his eye. the duke started forward. "she has gone?" he almost hissed. "gone? no! she is in the drawing-room with him." "with lovelace! and you permit it? you stand by and watch another man--" "say farewell to my wife. but i am not watching it, as you see." the anger died out of his grace's eyes. "farewell? do you tell me you at last came to your senses?" "we found that we both laboured under a delusion," replied carstares pleasantly. "i am delighted to hear you say so. i hope you will for the future keep a stricter hold over lavinia." "do you?" "i do. i think i will not undo what i have done; lovelace were perhaps better out of the way for a time." "why, i have no objection to that," bowed richard. his grace nodded shortly and picked up his hat. "then there remains nothing more to be done in the matter." he looked piercingly across at carstares. "she did not love him?" richard gave a happy little sigh. "she loves me." the heavy lids drooped again. "you cannot conceive my delight. if she indeed loves you, she is safe. i thought she had not got it in her. pray bear my respects to her." his hand was on the door-knob, when something seemed to occur to him. "i take it my presence at wyncham on friday will not be necessary?" he said cynically. richard flushed. "it will not be necessary." "then i am sure you will excuse me an i do not appear. i have other, more important affairs on hand.....but i shall be loth to miss the heroics," he added pensively, and chuckled. "_au revoir,_ my good richard!" richard bowed him out thankfully. presently the front door opened and shut again, and looking out of the window he saw that captain harold lovelace had taken his departure. he was now awaiting mr. warburton, whom he had sent in search of john some days ago. he should have been here by now, he thought, but perhaps he had been detained. richard was aching to hear news of his brother, longing to see him once more. but at the same time he was dreading the meeting; he shrank from the thought of looking into jack's eyes, cold--even scornful. it was not possible, so he reasoned, that jack should feel no resentment.... "mr. warburton, sir." carstares turned and came eagerly forward to greet the newcomer. "well? well?" mr. warburton spread out deprecating hands. "alas! mr. carstares." richard caught his arm. "what mean you? he is not--dead?" "i do not know, sir." "you could not find him? quick! tell me?" "alas! no, sir." "but the chequers--he said--surely they knew something?" "nought, mr. carstares." out came mr. warburton's snuff-box. very deliberately he took a pinch, shaking the remains from his finger-tips. "the host, chadber--an honest man, though lacking in humour--has not set eyes on my lord for well-nigh six months. not since i went to advise my lord of the earl's death." "but warburton, he cannot be far? he is not dead! oh, surely not that?" "no, no, master dick," soothed the lawyer. "we should have heard of it had he been killed. i fear he has gone abroad once more. it seems he often spoke of travelling again." "abroad? god! don't let me lose him again!" he sank into a chair, his head in his arms. "tut! i implore you, mr. carstares! do not despair yet. we have no proof that he has left the country. i daresay we shall find him almost at once. chadber thinks it likely he will visit the inn again ere long. calm yourself, master dick!" he walked up to the man and laid a hand on one heaving shoulder. "we shall find him, never fear! but do not--i know 'twould grieve him to see you so upset, master dick--pray, do not--!" "if i could only make amends!" groaned richard. "well, sir, are you not about to? he would not wish you to distress yourself like this! he was so fond of you! pray, pray do not!" carstares rose unsteadily and walked to the window. "i crave your pardon, mr. warburton--you must excuse me--i have been--living in hell--this last week." warburton came over to his side. "master dick--i--you know i have never cared for you-as--well--as--" "you cared for him." "er--yes, sir, exactly!--and of late years i may, perhaps, have been hard. i would desire to--er--apologise for any unjust--er--thoughts i may have harboured against you. i--i--possibly, i never quite understood. that is all, sir." he blew his nose rather violently, and then his hand found richard's. * * * * * richard carstares had plenty to occupy him for the rest of the week. arrangements had to be made, a house acquired for lavinia, wyncham house to be thoroughly cleaned and put in order, awaiting its rightful owner. once she had made up her mind to face the inevitable, lavinia quite enjoyed all the preparations. the new house in great jermyn street she voted charming, and she straightway set to work to buy very expensive furniture for it, and to superintend all the alterations. in her present penitent mood she would even have accompanied her husband to wyncham on monday, to stand by him on the fateful friday; but this he would not allow, insisting that she remain in town until his return. so she fluttered contentedly from grosvenor square to jermyn street, very busy and quite happy. carstares was to travel to wyncham on monday, arriving there the following evening in company with andrew, whom he was taking as far as andover. his lordship had lately embroiled himself in a quarrel over a lady when deep in his cups, and owing to the subsequent duel at barn elms and the almost overpowering nature of his debts, he deemed it prudent to go into seclusion for a spell. tracy disappeared from town in the middle of the week, whither no one knew, but it was universally believed that he had gone to scotland on a visit. monday at length dawned fair and promising. after bidding his wife a very tender farewell, and gently drying her wet eyelashes with his own handkerchief, richard set out with his brother-in-law in the big travelling chaise soon after noon. andrew had quite recovered his hitherto rather dampened spirits, and produced a dice-box from one pocket and a pack of cards from the other wherewith to beguile the tedium of the journey. chapter xxv his grace of andover captures the queen diana stood in the old oak porch, riding-whip in hand, and the folds of her voluminous gown over her arm. miss betty stood beside her, surveying her with secret pride. diana's eyes seemed darker than ever, she thought, and the mouth more tragic. she knew that the girl was, to use her own expression, "moping quite prodigiously for that mr. carr." not all that she could do to entertain diana entirely chased away the haunting sadness in her face; for a time she would be gay, but afterwards the laughter died away and she was silent. many times had miss betty shaken her fist at the absent john. presently diana gave a tiny sigh, and looked down at her aunt, smiling. "you would be surprised how excellently well harper manages the horses," she said. "he is quite a godsend. so much nicer than that stupid william." "indeed, yes," agreed miss betty. "only think, my dear, he was groom to sir hugh grandison--i saw the letter sir hugh writ your papa--a remarkable elegant epistle, i assure you, my love." diana nodded and watched the new groom ride up, leading her mount. he jumped down, and, touching his hat, stood awaiting his mistress's pleasure. diana went up to the cob, patting his glossy neck. "we are going towards ashley to-day, aunt," she said. "i am so anxious to find some berries, and harper tells me they grow in profusion not far from here." "now, my dear, pray do not tire yourself by going too far--i doubt it will rain before long and you will catch your death of cold!" diana laughed at her. "oh, no, aunt! why, the sky is almost cloudless! but we shall not be long, i promise you. only as far as crossdown woods and back again." she gave her foot to the groom just as mr. beauleigh came out to watch her start. "really, my dear, i must ride with you to-morrow," he told her. "'tis an age since we have been out together." "why, papa, will you not accompany me this afternoon?" cried diana eagerly. "i should so like it!" it struck her aunt that harper awaited the answer to this question rather anxiously. she watched him, puzzled. however, when mr. beauleigh had refused she could not see any change in his expression, and concluded that she must have been mistaken. so with a wave of her hand, diana rode away, the groom following at a respectful distance. yet somehow miss betty was uneasy. a presentiment of evil seemed to touch her, and when the riders had disappeared round a bend in the road she felt an insane desire to run after them and call her niece back. she gave herself a little shake, saying that she was a fond old woman, over-anxious about diana. nevertheless, she laid a detaining hand on her brother's arm as he was about to go indoors. "wait, horace! you--you _will_ ride with di more frequently, will you not?" he looked surprised. "you are uneasy, betty?" "oh--uneasy--! well, yes--a little. i do not like her to go alone with a groom, and we do not know this man." "my dear! i had the very highest references from sir hugh grandison, who, i am sure, would never recommend anyone untrustworthy. why, you saw the letter yourself!" "yes, yes. doubtless i am very stupid. but you _will_ ride with her after to-day, will you not?" "certainly i will accompany my daughter when i can spare the time," he replied with dignity, and with that she had to be content. diana rode leisurely along the lane, beside great trees and hedges that were a blaze of riotous colour. autumn had turned the leaves dull gold and flame, mellow brown and deepest red, with flaming orange intermingled, and touches of copper here and there where some beech tree stood. the lane was like a fairy picture, too gorgeous to be real; the trees, meeting overhead, but let the sunlight through in patches, so that the dusty road beneath was mottled with gold. the hedges retained their greenness, and where there was a gap a vista of fields presented itself. and then they came upon a clump of berries, black and red, growing the other side of the little stream that meandered along the lane in a ditch. diana drew up and addressed her companion. "see, harper--there are berries! we need go no further." she changed the reins to her right hand and made as if to spring down. "the place i spoke of is but a short way on, miss," ventured the man, keeping his seat. she paused. "but why will these not suffice?" "well, miss, if you like. but those others were a deal finer. it seems a pity not to get some." diana looked doubtfully along the road. "'tis not far?" "no, miss; but another quarter of a mile, and then down the track by the wood." still she hesitated. "i do not want to be late," she demurred. "no, miss, of course not. i only thought as how we might come back by way of chorly fields." "round by the mill? h'm...." "yes, miss. then as soon as we get past it there is a clear stretch of turf almost up to the house." her eye brightened. "a gallop? very well! but let us hurry on." she touched the cob with her heel, and they trotted on briskly out of the leafy canopy along the road with blue sky above and pasture land around. after a little while the wood came in sight, and in a minute they were riding down the track at right angles to the road. harper was at diana's heels, drawing nearer. half unconsciously she quickened her pace. there was not a soul in sight. they were coming to a bend in the road, and now harper was alongside. choking a ridiculous feeling of frightened apprehension, diana drew rein. "i do not perceive those berries!" she said lightly. "no, miss," was the immediate response. "they are just a step into the wood. if you care to dismount here i can show you." nothing could be more respectful than the man's tone. diana shook off her nervous qualms and slipped down. harper, already on the ground, took the cob's rein and tied both horses to a tree. diana gathered her skirts over her arm and picked her way through the brambles to where he had pointed. the blackberry hedges he held back for her entrance swung back after they had passed, completely shutting out all view of the road. there were no berries. diana's heart was beating very fast, all her suspicions springing to life again, but she showed no sign of fear as she desired him to hold the brambles back again for her to pass out. "for there are no berries here, as you can see for yourself." she swept round and walked calmly towards the bushes. then, how she could never quite remember, she was seized from behind, and before she had time to move, a long piece of silk was flung over her head and drawn tight across her mouth, while an arm, as of steel, held and controlled her. fighting madly, she managed to get one arm free, and struck out furiously with her slender crop. there was a brief struggle, and it was twisted from her grasp, and her hands tied behind her, despite all her efforts to be free. then her captor swung her writhing into his arms, and strode away through the wood without a word. diana was passive now, reserving her strength for when it might avail her something, but above the gag her eyes blazed with mingled fright and fury. she noticed that she was being carried not into the wood, but along it, and was not surprised when they emerged on to the road where it had rounded the bend. with a sick feeling of terror, she saw a coach standing in the road, and guessed, even before she knew, what was her fate. through a haze she saw a man standing at the door, and then she was thrust into the coach and made to sit down on the softly-cushioned seat. all her energies were concentrated in fighting against the faintness that threatened to overcome her. she won gradually, and strained her ears to catch what was being said outside. she caught one sentence in a familiar, purring voice: "set them loose and tie this to the pummel." then there was silence. presently she heard footsteps returning. an indistinguishable murmur from harper, and the door opened to allow his grace of andover to enter the coach. it gave a lurch and rumbled on. tracy looked down with a slight smile into the gold-flecked eyes that blazed so indignantly into his. "a thousand apologies, miss beauleigh! allow me to remove this scarf." as he spoke he untied the knot, and the silk fell away from her face. for a moment she was silent, struggling for words wherewith to give vent to her fury; then the red lips parted and the small, white teeth showed, clenched tightly together. "you cur!" she flung at him in a panting undertone. "oh, you cur!--you coward! undo my hands!" "with pleasure." he bowed and busied himself with this tighter knot. "pray, accept my heartfelt apologies for incommoding you so grievously. i am sure that you will admit the necessity." "oh, that there were a _man_ here to avenge me!" she raged. his grace tugged at the stubborn knot. "there are three outside," he answered blandly. "but i do not think they are like to oblige you." he removed her bonds and sat back in the corner, enjoying her. his eyes fell on her bruised wrists, and at once his expression changed, and he frowned, leaning forward. "believe me, i did not mean that," he said, and touched her hands. she flung him off. "do not touch me!" "i beg your pardon, my dear." he leaned back again nonchalantly. "where are you taking me?" she demanded, trying to conceal the fear in her voice. "home," replied his grace. "home!" incredulously she turned to look at him, hope in her eyes. "home," he reiterated. "_our_ home." the hope died out. "you are ridiculous, sir." "'tis an art, my dear, most difficult to acquire." "sir--mr. everard--whoever you are--if you have any spark of manliness in you, of chivalry, if you care for me at all, you will this instant set me down!" never had she seemed more beautiful, more desirable. her eyes shone with unshed tears, soft and luminous, and the tragic mouth pleaded, even trying to smile. "it would appear that none of these attributes belongs to me," murmured his grace, and wondered if she would weep. he had never a taste for a weeping woman. but diana was proud. she realised that tears, prayers and all would avail her nothing, and she was determined not to break down, at least in his presence. tracy was surprised to see her arrange her skirts and settle back against the cushions in the most unconcerned manner possible. "then, since you are so ungallant, sir, pray tell me what you purpose doing with me?" the tone was light, even bantering, but with his marvellous, almost uncanny perspicacity, he sensed the breathless terror behind it. "why, my dear, i had planned to marry you," he answered, bowing. the knuckles gleamed white on her clenched hand. "and if i refuse?" "i do not _think_ you will refuse, my dear." she could not repress a shiver. "i do refuse!" she cried sharply. the smile with which he received this statement drove the blood cold in her veins. "wait. i think you will be glad to marry me--in the end," he drawled. her great eyes were hunted, desperate, and her face was very white. the dry lips parted. "i think--you will be--very sorry--when my father--comes." the indulgent sneer brought the blood racing back to her cheeks. "and he will come!" his grace was politely interested. "really? but i do not doubt it, diana, an he knows where to come." "he will find a way, never fear!" she laughed with a confidence she was far from feeling. "i do not fear--not in the least--i shall be delighted to welcome him," promised his grace. "i do not anticipate a refusal of your hand from him." "no?" diana, too, could sneer. "no, my dear. not after a little--persuasion." "who are you?" she shot at him. his shoulders shook in the soundless laugh peculiar to him. "i am several people, child." "so i apprehend," she retorted smoothly. "sir hugh grandison amongst them?" "ah, you have guessed that?" "it rather leaps to the eye, sir." she spoke in what was almost an exact imitation of his sarcastic tone. "true. it was neatly done, i flatter myself." "quite marvellous, indeed." he was enjoying her as he had rarely enjoyed a woman before. others had sobbed and implored, railed and raved; he had never till now met one who returned him word for word, using his own weapons against him. "who else have you the honour to be?" she asked, stifling a yawn. "i am mr. everard, child, and duke of andover." then she turned her head and looked at him with glittering eyes. "i have heard of you, sir," she said, evenly. "you are like to hear more, my dear." "that is as may be, your grace." now she understood the elaborate hilt of the mysterious sword with the coronet on it, wrought in jewels. she wondered whether jack had it still, wherever he was. if only some wonderful providence would bring him to her now in her dire need! there was no one to strike a blow for her; she was entirely at the mercy of a ruthless libertine, whose reputation she knew well, and whose presence filled her with dread and a speechless loathing. she felt very doubtful that her father would succeed in finding her. if only jack were in england! he would come to her, she knew. his grace leaned towards her, laying a thin, white hand on her knee. "my dear, be reasonable. i am not such a bad bargain after all." the tenderness in his voice filled her with horror. he felt her shrink away. "take your hand away!" she commanded throbbingly. "do not touch me!" he laughed softly and at the sound of it she controlled her terrors and dropped again to the mocking tone she had adopted. "what? ungallant still, your grace? pray keep your distance!" the pistol holster on the wall at her side caught her attention. instantly she looked away, hoping he had not observed her. very little escaped his grace. "i am desolated to have to disappoint you, my dear. it is empty." she laid a careless hand on the holster, verifying his statement. "this? oh, i guessed it, your grace!" he admired her spirit more and more. was there ever such a girl? "my name is tracy," he remarked. she considered it with her head tilted to one side. "i do not like your name, sir," she answered. "'there was no thought of pleasing you when i was christened,'" he quoted lazily. "hardly, sir," she said. "you might be my father." it was a master stroke, and for an instant his brows drew together. then he laughed. "_merci du compliment, mademoiselle_! i admire your wit." "i protest i am overwhelmed. may i ask when we are like to arrive at our destination?" "we should reach andover soon after eight, my dear." so it was some distance he was taking her? "i suppose you had the wit to provide food for the journey?" she yawned. "you will not wish to exhibit me at an inn, i take it?" he marvelled at her indomitable courage "we shall halt at an inn certainly, and my servant will bring you refreshment. that will be in about an hour." "so long?" she frowned. "then, pray excuse me an i compose myself to sleep a little. i am like to find the journey somewhat tedious, i fear." she shifted farther into the corner, leaned her head back against the cushions and closed her eyes. thus outwitting his grace. for it is impossible to be passionate with a girl who feigns sleep when she should be struggling to escape from you. so tracy, who, whatever else he might lack, possessed a keen sense of humour, settled himself in his corner and followed her example. so they jogged on.... arrived at length at the inn, the coach pulled up slowly. diana opened her eyes with a great assumption of sleepiness. "already?" she marvelled. "i trust you have slept well," said his grace suavely. "excellently well, i thank you, sir," was the unblushing reply. "i am relieved to hear you say so, my dear. i had thought you unable to--your mouth kept shut so admirably. doubtless you have schooled your jaw not to drop when you sleep sitting up? i wish i might do the same." the triumph in his voice was thinly veiled. she found nothing to say. he rose. "with your leave, i will go to procure you some refreshment, child. do not think me uncivil if i remind you that a servant stands without either door." "i thank you for the kind thought," she smiled, but her heart was sick within her. he disappeared, returning a few moments later with a glass of wine and some little cakes. "i deplore the scanty nature of your repast," he said. "but i do not wish to waste time. you shall be more fittingly entertained when we reach andover." diana drank the wine gratefully, and it seemed to put new life into her. the food almost choked her, but rather than let him see it, she broke a cake in half and started to eat it, playing to gain time: time in which to allow her father a chance of overtaking them before it was too late. she affected to dislike the cake, and rather petulantly demanded a 'maid of honour.' tracy's eyes gleamed. "i fear i cannot oblige you, my dear. when we are married you can go to richmond, and you shall have maids of honour in plenty." he relieved her of her glass, taking it from hands that trembled pitifully. the rest of the journey was as some terrible nightmare. she felt that she dared no longer feign sleep. she was terrified at what his grace might do, and kept him at arm's length by means of her tongue and all her woman's wit. as a matter of fact, andover had himself well in hand, and had no intention of letting his passion run away with him. but as the time went on and the light went, some of diana's control seemed to slip from her, and she became a little less the self-possessed woman, and a little more the trapped and frightened child. when they at last reached andover court, and his grace assisted her to alight her legs would barely carry her up the steps to the great iron-clamped door. she trembled anew as he took her hand. on the threshold he paused and bowed very low. "welcome to your future home, my queen," he murmured, and led her in, past wooden-faced footmen who stared over her head, to his private room, where a table was set for two. he would have taken her in his arms then, but she evaded him and slipped wearily into a chair. "i protest," she managed to say, "i protest, i am faint through want of food." andover, looking at her white lips, believed her. he took a seat opposite. two footmen came to wait on them, and although her very soul was shamed that they should see her there, she was thankful for their restraining presence. chapter xxvi my lord rides to frustrate his grace my lord yawned most prodigiously and let fall the _spectator._ his eyes roved towards the clock, and noted with disgust that the hands pointed to half after five. he sighed and picked up the _rambler_. his host and hostess were visiting some miles distant, and were not likely to be back until late, so my lord had a long dull evening in front of him, which he relished not at all. lady o'hara had tried to induce him to accompany them, promising that he would meet no one he knew, but he had for once been prudent and refused steadfastly. so my lady, after pouting crossly at him and assuring him that he was by far the most obstinate and disagreeable man that she had ever come across, not excepting her husband, who, to be sure, had been quite prodigiously annoying all day, relented, told him she understood perfectly, and even offered to kiss him to make up for her monstrous ill-humour. jack accepted the offer promptly, waved farewell to her from the porch, and returned to the empty drawing-room to while away the time with two numbers of the _spectator_ and his own thoughts till dinner, which was to be later than usual to-day, on account of an attack of vapours which had seized the cook. his thoughts were too unpleasant to be dwelt on; everything in his world seemed to have gone awry. so he occupied himself with what seemed to him a particularly uninteresting number of the _spectator_. the sun had almost disappeared, and very soon it became too dark to read; no candles having been brought as yet, my lord, very unromantically, went to sleep in his chair. whether he would have eventually snored is not known, for not more than a quarter of an hour afterwards the butler roused him with the magic words: "dinner is served, sir." carstares turned his head lazily. "what's that you say, james?" "dinner is served, sir," repeated the man, and held the door wide for him to pass out. "faith! i'm glad to hear it!" my lord rose leisurely and pulled his cravat more precisely into position. although he was to be alone, he gave his costume a touch here and there, and flicked a speck of dust from one great cuff with his elegant lace handkerchief. he strolled across the old panelled hall to the dining-room, and sat down at the table. the curtains were drawn across the windows, and clusters of candles in graceful silver holders were arranged on the table, shedding a warm light on to the white damask and the shining covers. the footmen presented a fish, and my lord permitted a little to be put on his plate. the butler desired to know if mr. carr would drink claret or burgundy, or ale? mr. carr would drink claret. a sirloin of beef next made its appearance, and went away considerably smaller. then before my lord was spread an array of dishes. partridges flanked one end, a pasty stood next, a cream, two chickens, a duck, and a ham of noble proportions. my lord went gently through. the butler desired to know if mr. carr would drink a glass of burgundy? he exhibited a dusty bottle. my lord considered it through his eyeglass and decided in favour. he sipped reflectively and waved the ham away. sweetmeats appeared before him and a soup, while plump pigeons were uncovered at his elbow. one was whipped deftly on to his plate, and as he took up his knife and fork to carve it, a great scuffling sounded without, angry voices being raised in expostulation, and, above all, a breathless, insistent appeal for mr. carr or sir miles. my lord laid down the knife and fork and came to his feet. "it appears i am demanded," he said, and went to the door. it was opened for him at once, and he stepped out into the hall to find mr. beauleigh trying to dodge the younger footman, who was refusing to let him pass. at the sight of carstares he stepped back respectfully. mr. beauleigh, hot, distraught, breathless, fell upon my lord. "thank god you are here, sir!" he cried. carstares observed him with some surprise. mr. beauleigh had been so very frigid when last they had met. "i am glad to be at your service, sir," he bowed. "you have commands for me?" "we are in terrible trouble," almost moaned the other. "betty bade me come to find you, or failing you, sir miles, for none other can help us!" carstares' glance grew sharper. "trouble? not--but i forget my manners--we shall talk more at ease in here." he led mr. beauleigh into the morning-room. beauleigh thrust a paper into his hands. "diana went riding this afternoon, and only her horse returned--with this attached to the pommel! read it, sir! read it!" "diana!" carstares strode over to the light, and devoured the contents of the single sheet, with eager eyes. they were not long, and they were very much to the point: "mr. beauleigh may haply recall to mind a certain 'mr. everard,' of bath, whose addresses to miss beauleigh were cruelly repulsed. he regrets having now to take the matter into his own hands, and trusts to further his acquaintance with mr. beauleigh at some future date, when miss beauleigh shall, he trusts, have become 'mrs. everard.'" jack crumpled the paper furiously in his hand, grinding out a startling oath. "--insolent cur!" "yes, yes, sir! but what will that avail my daughter? i have come straight to you, for my sister is convinced you know this everard, and can tell me where to seek them!" carstares clapped a hand on his shoulder. "never fear, mr. beauleigh! i pledge you my word she shall be found this very night!" "you know where he has taken her? you do? you are sure?" "back to his earth, i'll lay my life; 'tis ever his custom." he strode to the door, flung it wide and shot clear, crisp directions at the footman. "see to it that my mare is saddled in ten minutes and blue devil harnessed to your master's curricle! don't stand staring--go! and send salter to me!" the footman scuttled away, pausing only to inform my lord that salter was not in. carstares remembered that he had given jim leave to visit his mary at fittering, and crushed out another oath. he sprang up the stairs, mr. beauleigh following breathlessly. in his room, struggling with his boots, he put a few questions. mr. beauleigh related the whole tale, dwelling mournfully on the excellent references for harper he had received from sir hugh grandison. jack hauled at his second boot. "tracy himself, of course!" he fumed, adjusting his spurs. "pray, mr. carr, who is this scoundrel? is it true that you know him?" "andover," answered jack from the depths of the garde-robe. "damn the fellow, where has he put my cloak?" this to the absent jim, and not the duke. "andover! not--surely not the duke?" cried mr. beauleigh. "i know of none other. at last!" he emerged and tossed a heavy, many-caped coat on to the bed. "now, sir, your attention for one moment." he was buckling on his sword as he spoke, and not looking at the other man. "tracy will have borne di--miss beauleigh off to andover court, seven miles beyond wyncham, to the south-west. your horse, i take it, is not fresh," (he knew mr. beauleigh's horse). "i have ordered the curricle for you. i will ride on at once by short cuts, for there is not a moment to be lost--" "the duke of andover!" interrupted mr. beauleigh. "the duke of andover! why, do you think he purposes to marry my daughter?" jack gave a short, furious laugh. "ay! as he married all the others!" mr. beauleigh winced. "sir! pray why should you say so?" "i perceive you do not know his grace. perchance you have heard of devil belmanoir?" then the little man paled. "good god, mr. carr, 'tis not he?" carstares caught up his hat and whip. "ay, mr. beauleigh, 'tis indeed he. now perhaps you appreciate the necessity for haste?" mr. beauleigh's eyes were open at last. "for god's sake, mr. carr, after them!" "'tis what i intend, sir. you will follow as swiftly as possible?" "yes, yes, but do not wait for anything! can you reach andover--in time?" "i reach andover to-night," was the grim answer. "and you, sir? you know the road?" "i will find out. only go, mr. carr! do not waste time, i implore you!" jack struggled into his riding coat, clapped his hat on to his head, and with his grace of andover's sword tucked beneath his arm, went down the stairs three and four at a time, and hurried out on to the drive, where the groom stood waiting with jenny's bridle over his arm. carstares cast a hasty glance at the girths and sprang up. the mare sidled and fidgeted, fretting to be gone, but was held in with a hand of iron while her master spoke to the groom. "you must drive mr. beauleigh to andover court as fast as you can. it is a matter of life and death. you know the way?" the amazed groom collected his wits with difficulty. "roughly, sir." "that will do--mr. beauleigh will know. drive your damnedest, man--sir miles won't mind. you understand?" jack's word was law in the o'hara household. "yes, sir," answered the man, and touched his hat. on the word, he saw the beautiful straining mare leap forward, and the next moment both horse and rider were swallowed in the gloom. "well i'm--darned," exploded the groom, and turned to fetch the curricle. across the stretch of moorland went jack at a gallop, jenny speeding under him like the wind, and seeming to catch something of her master's excitement. low over her neck he bent, holding the duke's sword across his saddle-bows with one hand and with the other guiding her. so he covered some three miles. he reined in then, and forced her to a canter, saving her strength for the long distance ahead of them. she was in splendid condition, glorying in the unrestrained gallop across the turf, and although she was too well-mannered to pull on the rein, carstares could see by the eager twitching of her ears how she longed to be gone over the ground. he spoke soothingly to her and guided her on to the very lane where diana had ridden that afternoon. she fell into a long, easy stride that seemed to eat up the ground. now they were off the lane, riding over a field to join another road, leading west. a hedge cut them off, but the mare gathered her legs beneath her and soared over, alighting as gracefully as a bird, and skimming on again up the road. her responsive ears flickered as he praised her, and pulled her up. "easy now, jenny, easy!" she was trembling with excitement, but she yielded to his will and trotted quietly for perhaps another half-hour. carstares rose and fell rhythmically in the saddle, taking care to keep his spurred heels from her glossy sides. he guessed the time to be about seven o'clock, and his brows drew together worriedly. jenny was made of steel and lightning, but would she manage it? he had never tested her powers as he was about to now, and he dared not allow her much breathing space. every minute was precious if he were to reach andover before it was too late. assuming that tracy had captured diana at four, or thereabouts, he reckoned that it should take a heavy coach four hours or more to reach andover. jenny might manage it in two and a half hours, allowing for short cuts, in which case he ought to arrive not long after the others. he was tortured by the thought of diana at the mercy of a man of tracy's calibre; diana in terror; diana despairing. unconsciously he pressed his knees against the smooth flank and once more jenny fell into that long, swift stride. she seemed to glide over the ground with never a jar nor a stumble. carstares was careful not to irk her in any way, only keeping a guiding, restraining hand on the rein, and for the rest letting her go as she willed. on and on they sped, as the time lagged by, sometimes through leafy lanes, at others over fields and rough tracks. not for nothing had carstares roamed this country for two years; almost every path was familiar to him; he never took a wrong turn, never swerved, never hesitated. on and on, past sleeping villages and lonely homesteads, skirting woods, riding up hill and down dale, never slackening his hold on the rein, never taking his eyes off the road before him, except now and then to throw a glance to the side on the look-out for some hidden by-path. after the first hour a dull pain in his shoulder reminded him of his wound, still troublesome. he set his teeth and pressed on still faster. the mare caught her foot on a loose stone and stumbled. his hand held her together, the muscles standing out like ribbed steel, his voice encouraged her, and he made her walk again. this time she did not fret against the restraint. he shifted the sword under his bridle hand, and passed the right down her steaming neck, crooning to her softly beneath his breath. she answered with a low, throbbing whinny. she could not understand why he desired her to gallop on, braving unknown terrors in the dark; all she could know was that it was his wish. it seemed also that he was pleased with her. she would have cantered on again, but he made her walk for, perhaps, another five minutes, until they were come to a stretch of common he knew well. it was getting late, and he pressed her with his knee, adjuring her to do her best, and urging her to a gallop, leaning right forward, the better to pierce the darkness ahead. a gorse bush loomed before them, and jenny shied at it, redoubling her pace. with hand and voice he soothed her, and on they sped. he judged the time to be now about half-past eight, and knew that they must make the remaining miles in an hour. even now the coach might have arrived, and beyond that he dared not think. another half-hour crept by, and he could feel the mare's breath coming short and fast, and reined in again, this time to a canter. he was off the moor now, on a road he remembered well, and knew himself to be not ten miles from wyncham. five more miles as the crow flies.... he knew he must give jenny another rest, and pulled up, dismounting and going to her head. her legs were trembling, and the sweat rolled off her satin skin. she dropped her nose into his hand, sobbingly. he rubbed her ears and patted her, and she lipped his cheek lovingly, breathing more easily. up again then, and forward once more, skimming over the ground. leaving wyncham on his right, carstares cut west and then north-west, on the highroad now, leading to andover. only two more miles to go.... jenny stumbled again and broke into a walk. her master tapped her shoulder, and she picked up her stride again. she was almost winded, and he knew it, but he had to force her onwards. she responded gallantly to his hand, although her breath came sobbingly and her great, soft eyes were blurred. at last the great iron gates were in view; he could see them through the dusk, firmly shut. he pulled up and walked on, looking for a place in the hedge where jenny might push through. chapter xxvii my lord enters by the window his grace of andover made a sign to the footmen, and with a sinking heart diana watched them leave the room, discreetly closing the door behind them. she affected to eat a peach, skinning it with fingers that were stiff and wooden. tracy leaned back in his chair, surveying her through half-shut eyelids. he watched her eat her peach and rise to her feet standing with her hand on the back of the high, carved chair. she addressed him nervously and with would-be lightness. "well, sir, i have eaten, and i protest i am fatigued. pray have the goodness to conduct me to your housekeeper." "my dear," he drawled, "nothing would give me greater pleasure--always supposing that i possessed one." she raised her eyebrows haughtily. "i presume you have at least a maidservant," she inquired. "if i am to remain here, i would retire." "you shall, child, all in good time. but do not be in a hurry to deprive me of your fair company." he rose as he spoke, and taking her hand, led her dumbly to a low-backed settee at the other end of the great room. "if you have aught to say to me, your grace, i beg that you will reserve it until to-morrow. i am not in the humour to-night." he laughed at her. "still so cold, child?" "i am not like to be different, sir." his eyes glinted. "you think so? i shall show you that you are wrong, my dear. you may loathe me, you may love me, but i think you will lose something of that icy indifference. allow me to point out to you that there is a couch behind you." "i perceive it, sir." "then be seated." "it is not worth the while, sir. i am not staying." he advanced one step towards her with that in his face that made her sink hurriedly on to the couch. he nodded smiling. "you are wise, diana." "why so free with my name, sir?" this with icy sweetness. tracy flung himself down beside her, his arm over the back of the settee and the fingers of his drooping hand just touching her shoulder. it was all the girl could do to keep from screaming. she felt trapped and helpless, and her nerve was in pieces. "nay, sweet! an end to this quibbling. bethink you, is it worth your while to anger me?" she sat rigid and silent. "i love you--ay, you shudder. one day you will not do that." "you call this love, your grace?" she cried out, between scorn and misery. "something near it," he answered imperturbably. "god help you then!" she shivered, thinking of one other who had loved her so differently. "belike he will," was the pleasant rejoinder. "but we wander from the point. it is this: you shall retire to your chamber at once--er--armed with the key--an you will swear to marry me to-morrow." very white, she made as if to rise. the thin fingers closed over her shoulders, forcing her to remain. "no, my dear. sit still." her self-control was slipping away from her; she struggled to be free of that hateful hand. "oh, you brute, you brute! let me go!" "when you have given me your answer, sweetheart." "it is no!" she cried. "a thousand times no!" "think...." "i have thought! i would rather die than wed you!" "very possibly. but death will not be your lot, my pretty one," purred the sinister voice in her ear. "think carefully before you answer; were it not better to marry me with all honour than to--" "you devil!" she panted, and looked wildly round for some means of escape. the long window was open, she knew, for the curtain blew out into the room. but his grace was between it and her. "you begin to think better of it, child? remember, to-morrow will be too late. this is your chance, now. in truth," he took a pinch of snuff, "in truth, it matters not to me whether you will be a bride or no." with a sudden movement she wrenched herself free and darted to the window. in a flash he was up and had caught her as she reached it, swinging her round to face him. "not so fast, my dear. you do not escape me so." his arm was about her waist, drawing her irresistibly towards him. sick with fear, she struck madly at the face bent close to hers. "let me go! how dare you insult me so? oh, for god's sake let me go!" he was pressing her against him, one hand holding her wrists behind her in a grip of iron, his other arm about her shoulders. "for my own sake i will keep you," he smiled, and looked gloatingly down at her beautiful, agonised countenance, with its wonderful eyes gazing imploringly at him, and the sensitive mouth a-quiver. for one instant he held her so, and then swiftly bent his head and pressed his lips to hers. she could neither struggle nor cry out. a deadly faintness assailed her, and she could scarcely breathe. "by god, it is too late!" he swore. "you had best give in, madam--nought can avail you now." and then the unexpected happened. even as in her last desperate effort to free herself she moaned the name of him whom she deemed hundreds of miles away across the sea, a crisp voice, vibrating with a species of cold fury, sounded directly behind them. "you delude yourself, belmanoir," it said with deadly quiet. with an oath tracy released the girl and wheeled to face the intruder. framed by the dark curtains, drawn sword in hand, murder in his blue eyes, stood my lord. tracy's snarl died slowly away as he stared, and a look of blank amazement took its place. diana, almost unable to believe her eyes, dizzy with the suddenness of it all, stumbled blindly towards him, crying: "thank god! thank god! oh, jack!" he caught her in his arms, drawing her gently to the couch. "dear heart, you never doubted i should come?" "i thought you in france!" she sobbed, and sank down amongst the cushions. carstares turned to meet his grace. tracy had recovered from the first shock of surprise and was eyeing him though his quizzing glass. "this is an unexpected pleasure, my lord," he drawled with easy insolence. diana started at the mode of address and looked up at carstares, bewildered. "i perceive your sword in the corner behind you, your grace!" snapped jack, and flung over to the door, twisting the key round in the lock and slipping it into his breeches pocket. to diana he was as a stranger, with no laugh in the glittering blue eyes, and none of the almost finicking politeness that usually characterised his bearing. he was very white, with lips set in a hard straight line, and his nostrils slightly expanded. his grace shrugged a careless refusal. "my dear carstares, why should i fight you?" he inquired, seemingly not in the least annoyed by the other's intrusion. "i had anticipated that answer, your grace. so i brought _this_!" as he spoke jack drove the sword he held into the wood floor, where it stayed, quivering. nonchalantly tracy took it in his hand and glanced at the hilt. his fingers tightened on it convulsively, and he shot a piercing glance at jack. "i am entirely at your service," he said very smoothly, and laid the sword on the table. some of the glare died out of my lord's eyes, and a little triumphant smile curved the corners of his mouth. quickly he divested himself of his fine velvet coat, his waistcoat and his scabbard, and pulled off the heavy riding boots, caked with mud. he proceeded to tuck up his ruffles, awaiting his grace's convenience. as one in a dream, diana saw the table pushed back, the paces measured, and heard the ring of steel against steel. my lord opened the attack after a few moments' cautious circling, lunging swiftly and recovering, even as the duke countered and delivered a lightning _riposte en quinte_. my lord parried gracefully in tierce, and chuckled softly to himself. with parted lips and wide eyes, the girl on the couch watched each fresh lunge. a dozen times it seemed as though carstares must be run through, but each time, by some miraculous means, he regained his opposition, and the duke's blade met steel. once, indeed, thrusting in _quarte_, tracy's point, aimed too high, flashed above the other's guard and ripped the cambric shirt at the sleeve. my lord retired his foot nimbly, parried, and _riposted_ with a straight thrust, wrist held high, before tracy could recover his opposition. the blades clashed as forte met foible, and my lord lunged straight at his opponent's breast. diana shut her eyes, expecting every moment to hear the dull thud of tracy's body as it should fall to the ground. it did not come, but instead there sounded a confused stamping, and scraping of blades, and she looked again to find the duke disengaging over my lord's supple wrist and being parried with the utmost ease and dexterity. carstares knew that he would not be able to last long, however. his shoulder, fretted by the long ride, was aching intolerably, and his wrist seemed to have lost some of its cunning. he was conscious of a singing in his head which he tried, in vain, to ignore. but his eyes glowed and sparkled with the light of battle and the primitive lust to kill. the duke was fencing with almost superhuman skill, moving heavily and deliberately, seemingly tireless. carstares, on the other hand, was as swift and light as a panther, grace in every turn of his slim body. he feinted suddenly inside the arm, deceiving the parade of tierce. his grace fell back a pace, parrying in _quarte_, and as john with a quick twist changed to _quarte_ also and the blades crossed, tracy lunged forward the length of his arm, and a deep red splash stained the whiteness of my lord's sleeve at the shoulder. diana gave a choked cry, knowing it to be the old wound, and the duke's blade came to rest upon the ground. "you are--satisfied?" he asked coolly, but panting a little. my lord reeled slightly, controlled himself and brushed his left hand across his eyes. "on guard!" was all he replied, ignoring a pleading murmur from the girl. tracy shrugged, meeting carstares' blade with his, and the fight went on. tracy's eyes were almost shut, it appeared to diana, his chin thrust forward, his teeth gripping the thin lower lip. to her horror she saw that carstares was breathing in gasps, and that his face was ashen in hue. it was torture to her to sit impotent, but she held herself in readiness to fly to his rescue should the need arise. suddenly my lord feinted on both sides of the arm and ripped open the duke's sleeve, causing a steady trickle of blood to drip down on to the floor. tracy took no notice, but countered so deftly that john's blade wavered, and he staggered back. for an instant it seemed as though the end had come, but somehow he steadied himself, recovering his guard. diana was on her feet now, nearly as white as her lover, her hands pressed to her breast. she saw that john's point was no longer so purposeful, and the smile had gone from his lips. they were parted now, the upper one rigid, and a deep furrow cut into his brow. then, startling in the stillness of the great house, came the clanging of a bell, pulled with some violence. carstares' white lips moved soundlessly, and diana, guessing it to be her father, moved, clinging to the wall, towards the door. a moment later along the passage came the sound of steps; a gay, boisterous voice was raised, followed by a deeper, graver one. his grace's face became devilish in its expression, but carstares took no notice, seeming not to hear. only he thrust with such skill that his grace was forced to fall back a pace. the loud voices demanded to know what was toward in the locked room, and diana, knowing that my lord was nearly spent, beat upon the panels. "quickly, quickly!" she cried. "break through, for heaven's sake, whoever you are! 'tis locked!" "good gad! 'tis a woman!" exclaimed the voice. "listen, dick!--why--why--'tis a fight!" "oh, be _quick_!" implored poor diana. and then came the deeper voice: "stand away, madam, we will burst the lock." she moved quickly aside, turning her attention once more to the duel by the window, as andrew flung his shoulder against the stout wood. at the third blow the lock gave, the door flew wide, and lord andrew was precipitated into the room. and the two by the window fought on unheeding, faster and faster. "well, i'm damned!" said andrew, surveying them. he walked forward interestedly, and at the same moment caught sight of jack's face. he stared in amazement, and called to richard. "good lord! here! dick! come here! surely it's--_who_ is that man?" diana saw the tall gentleman, so like her lover in appearance, step forward to the young rake's side. the next events happened in a flash. she heard a great cry, and before she had time to know what he was doing, richard had whipped his sword from its scabbard and had struck up the two blades. in that moment the years rolled back, and, recognising his brother, jack gasped furiously: "damn--you--dick! out--of--the way!" tracy stood leaning on his sword, watching, his breath coming in gasps, but still with that cynical smile on his lips. richard, seeing that his brother would fly at the duke again, closed with him, struggling to wrest the rapier from his weakened grasp. "you fool, john, leave go! leave go, i say!" with a twist he had the sword in his hand and sent it spinning across the room as without a sound my lord crumpled up and fell with a thud to the floor. chapter xxviii in which what threatened to be tragedy turns to comedy with a smothered cry diana flew across the room to where my lord lay in a pitiful little heap, but before her was richard. he fell on his knees beside the still figure, feeling for the wound. diana, on the other side, looked across at him. "'tis his shoulder, sir--an old wound. oh, he is not--he cannot be--_dead_?" richard shook his head dumbly and gently laid bare the white shoulder. the wound was bleeding very slightly, and they bound it deftly betwixt them, with their united handkerchiefs and a napkin seized from the table. "'tis exhaustion, i take it," frowned richard, his hand before the pale lips. "he is breathing still." over her shoulder diana shot an order: "one of you men, please fetch water and cognac!" "at once, madam!" responded andrew promptly, and hurried out. she bent once more over my lord, gazing anxiously into his face. "he will live? you--are sure? he--he must have rid all the way from maltby--for me!" she caught her breath on a sob, pressing one lifeless hand to her lips. "for you, madam?" richard looked an inquiry. she blushed. "yes--he--we--i--" "i see," said richard gravely. she nodded. "yes, and--and the duke--caught me, and--brought me here--and--and then _he_ came--and saved me!" the air blowing in from the window stirred the ruffles of my lord's shirt, and blew a strand of her dark hair across diana's face. she caught it back and stared at richard with a puzzled air. "pardon me, sir--but you are so like him!" "i am his brother," answered richard shortly. her eyes grew round with surprise. "his _brother_, sir? i never knew mr. carr had a brother!" "mr.--who?" asked richard. "carr. it is not his name, is it? i heard the duke call him carstares--and--my lord." "he is the earl of wyncham," answered richard, stretching out a hand to relieve andrew of the jug of water he was proffering. "good--gracious!" gasped diana. "b-but he said he was a highwayman!" "quite true, madam." "true? but how--how ridiculous--and how like him!" she soaked a handkerchief in the water, and bathed my lord's forehead. "he is not coming to in the least," she said nervously. "you are sure 'tis not--not--" "quite. he'll come round presently. you said he had ridden far?" "he must have, sir--i wish he were not so pale--he was staying with the o'haras at maltby." "what? the o'haras?" "yes--and he must have ridden from there--and his wound still so tender!" again she kissed the limp hand. over by the window his grace, his breath recovered, was eyeing andrew through his quizzing-glass. "may i inquire what brings you here?" he asked sweetly. "and why you saw fit to bring the saintly richard?" "i came because it suited me to do so. i never dreamed you were here--'pon my soul, i did not!" "where then did you think i was?" "never thought about you at all, my dear fellow. i'm not your squire." "why is richard here?" "lord, what a catechism! he is here because he brought me with him on his way to wyncham. have you any objection?" "it would be useless," shrugged tracy. "have i killed that young fool?" andrew looked him over in disgust. "no, you have not. you have barely touched him, thanks be." "dear me! why this sudden affection for carstares?" andrew swung round on his heel, remarking over his shoulder: "he may be a cheat, but he's a damned fine fellow. by gad! he nearly pinked you as i entered!" he chuckled at the memory of that glorious moment. "he nearly pinked me a dozen times," replied tracy, binding his arm round more tightly. "he fights like ten devils. but he was fatigued." he followed andrew across the room and stood looking down at his unconscious foe. diana's eyes challenged him. "stand back, your grace! you have no more to do here!" he drew out his snuff-box and took a pinch. "so that is how the matter lies, my dear. i did not know that." "you pretend that it would have made a difference in your treatment of me?" "not the slightest, child," he replied, shutting the box with a snap. "it has merely come as a slight surprise to me. it seems he has the luck this round." he walked away again as another great bell-peal sounded through the house. andrew, pouring cognac into a glass, paused with bottle held in mid-air. "thunder and turf! we are like to be a party! who now?" he set the glass down and lounged out of the room, bottle in hand. they heard him give an astonished cry and a loud laugh, and the next moment o'hara strode into the room, booted and spurred and enveloped in a heavy surcoat. he came swiftly upon the little group about my lord and went down on one knee beside him. his eyes seemed to take in everyone at a glance. then he looked across at richard. "is he alive?" richard nodded, not meeting the hard, anxious gaze. o'hara bent over his friend. "he has been wounded?" diana answered this. "only slightly, sir miles, but 'twas his shoulder again. he was tired after the ride--mr. carstares thinks he has fainted from exhaustion." o'hara very gently slipped one arm beneath my lord's shoulders and the other under his knees, rising with him as easily as if he were carrying a baby. he walked over to the couch, lowering his burden on to the cushions that diana placed to receive him. "he will be easier there," he said, and looked across at her. "ye are quite safe, child?" "quite--quite--he came just in time--and fought for me." she dabbed openly at her eyes. "i--i love him so, sir miles--and now i hear that he is an earl!" she sighed. "well, child, 'twill make no difference, i take it. i hope he'll make ye happy." she smiled through her tears very confidently. o'hara turned and faced richard, who was standing a little in the rear, watching his brother's face. he met o'hara's scathing look squarely. "well?" "nought," answered the irishman cuttingly, and walked over to where lord andrew was arguing hotly with his brother. carstares returned to my lord's side and stood looking silently down at him. diana suddenly gave a little joyful cry. "he is coming round! he moved his head! oh, jack, my dear one, look at me!" she bent over him with eyes alight with love. my lord's eyelids flickered and opened. for a moment he stared at her. "why--diana!" she took his head between her hands and kissed him full on the mouth. then she raised his head to look into the blue eyes. my lord's arm crept round her and held her tight against him. after a moment she disengaged herself and stood aside. jack's eyes, still a little bewildered, fell upon his brother. he struggled up on his elbow. "am i dreaming? _dick_!" his voice was full of a great joy. richard went quickly to him, trying to put him back on the cushions. "my dear jack--no, no--lie still!" "lie still?" cried my lord, swinging his feet to the ground. "not a bit of it! i am well enough, but a trifle dizzy. how in thunder did you come here? surely 'twas you knocked up my sword? yes? interfering young cub! give me your arm a minute!" "but why do you want to get up?" pleaded a soft voice in his ear. "so that i can take you in my arms, sweetheart," he answered, and proceeded to do so. then his glance, wandering round the room, alighted on the heated group by the table; andrew vociferously indignant, tracy coolly sarcastic, and o'hara furious. "tare an' ouns!" ejaculated my lord. "where _did_ they all spring from?" "i don't quite know!" laughed diana. "sir miles came a few minutes ago--the other gentleman came with mr. carstares." "ay, i remember him--'tis andrew, eh, dick? zounds! how he has grown! but what in the world are they all fighting over? miles! miles, i say!" o'hara wheeled round, surprised. "oho! ye are up, are ye." he crossed to his side. "then sit down!" "since you are all so insistent, i will. how did you come here?" o'hara went round to the back of the couch to arrange a cushion beneath the hurt shoulder, and leaned his arms upon the back, looking down with a laugh in his eyes. "faith, i rode!" "but how did you know? where--" "'twas all on account of that young rascal david," he said. "molly fretted and fumed all the way to the frasers, vowing the child would be neglected, and what not, and we'd not been in the house above an hour or so, when up she jumps and says she knows that _something_ has happened at home, and nothing will suffice but that i must drive her back. we arrived just as beauleigh was setting out. he told us the whole tale, and of course i had blue peter saddled in the twinkling of an eye and was off after ye. but, what with taking wrong turns and me horse not happening to be made of lightning, i couldn't arrive until now." "you cannot have been so long after me," said jack. "for i wasted full half-an-hour outside here, trying to find an opening in the hedge for jenny to get through. she is now stalled in a shed at the bottom of the lawn with my cloak over her. i'll swear she's thirsty, too." "i'll see to that," promised o'hara. andrew came across the room and bowed awkwardly to my lord, stammering a little. carstares held out his hand. "lord, andy! i scarce knew you!" after a moment's hesitation, andrew took the outstretched hand and answered, laughingly. but my lord had not failed to notice the hesitation, short though it had been. "i--beg your pardon. i had forgot," he said stiffly. andrew sat down beside him, rather red about the ears. "oh, stuff, jack! i'm a clumsy fool, but i did not mean that!" richard stepped forward into the full light of the candles. "if you will all listen to me one moment, i shall be greatly obliged," he said steadily. lord john started forward. "dick!" he cried, warningly, and would have gone to him, but for o'hara's hand on his shoulder, dragging him back. "ah, now, be aisy," growled miles. "let the man say it!" "hold your tongue, o'hara! dick, wait one moment! i want to speak to you!" richard never glanced at him. "i am about to tell you something that should have been told--seven years ago--" "once and for all, i forbid it!" snapped my lord, trying to disengage himself from o'hara's grip. miles leant over him. "see here, me boy, if ye don't keep a still tongue in your head, it's meself that'll be gagging you, and that's that!" my lord swore at him. diana laid a gentle hand on his arm. "please, john! please be still! why should not mr. carstares speak?" "you don't know what he would do!" fumed jack. "in fact, miss beauleigh, sir miles and andrew are completely in the dark," drawled the duke. "shall i tell the tale, richard?" "thank you, i shall not require your assistance," was the cold rejoinder. "but i must ask you to be quiet, john." "i will not! you must n--" "that will do," decided o'hara, and placed a relentless hand over his mouth. "go on, carstares!" "for the sake of miss beauleigh, i will tell you that seven years ago my brother and i went to a card-party. i cheated. he took the blame. he has borne it ever since because i was too much a coward to confess. that is all i have to say." "'twas for that ye wanted to see me on friday?" shot out o'hara. richard nodded, dully. "yes, i was going to tell you then." "h'm! i'm glad ye had decided to play the man's part for once!" with a furious oath jack wrenched himself free and rounded on his friend. "you take too much upon yourself, o'hara!" he rose unsteadily and walked to richard's side. "dick has told you much, but not all. you none of you know the reasons we had for acting as we did. but you know him well enough to believe that it needed very strong reasons to induce him to allow me take the blame. if anyone has aught to say in the matter, i shall be glad if he will say it to me--now!" his eyes flashed menacingly as they swept the company, and rested for an instant on o'hara's unyielding countenance. then he turned and held out his hand to his brother with his own peculiarly wistful smile. "can you bear to speak to me?" muttered richard, with face averted. "gad, dick, don't be ridiculous!" he grasped the unwilling hand. "you would have done the same for me!" andrew pressed forward. "well, i can see no use in raking up old scores! after all, what does it matter? it's buried and finished. here's my hand on it, dick! lord! i couldn't turn my back on the man i've lived on for years!" he laughed irrepressibly, and wrung richard's hand. my lord's eyes were on o'hara, pleading. reluctantly the irishman came forward. "'tis only fair to tell you, richard, that i can't see eye to eye with andrew, here. however, i'm not denying that i think a good deal better of ye now than i did--seven years ago." richard looked up eagerly. "you never believed him guilty?" o'hara laughed. "hardly!" "you knew 'twas i?" "i had me suspicions, of course." "i wish--oh, how i wish you had voiced them!" o'hara raised his eyebrows, and there fell a little silence. his grace of andover broke it, coming forward in his inimitable way. he looked round the room at each member of the company. "one, two, three--four, five--" he counted. "andrew, tell them to lay covers for five in the dining-room." "aren't you staying?" asked his brother, surprised. "i have supped," replied tracy coolly. for a moment o'hara's mouth twitched, and then he burst out laughing. everyone looked at him inquiringly. "ecod!" he gasped. "oh, sink me an i ever came across a more amusing villain! 'lay covers for five!' oh, damme!" "or should i have said six?" continued his grace imperturbably. "am i not to have the honour of mr. beauleigh's company?" o'hara checked his mirth. "no, ye are not! he was content to let me manage the business, and went back to littledean." "i am sorry," bowed his grace, and turned to my lord, who, with his arm about diana's waist, was watching him arrogantly. "i see how the land lies," he remarked. "i congratulate you, john. i cannot help wishing that i had finished you that day in the road. permit me to say that you fence rather creditably." my lord bowed stiffly. "of course," continued his grace smoothly, "you also wish you had disposed of me. i sympathise. but, however much you may inwardly despise and loathe me, you cannot show it--unless you choose to make yourself and me the talk of town--not forgetting mistress diana. also i abhor bad tragedy. so i trust you will remain here to-night as my guest--er, andrew, pray do not omit to order bed-chambers to be prepared--afterwards you need never come near me again--in fact, i hope that you will not." my lord could not entirely repress a smile. "i thank your grace for your hospitality, which i fear," he glanced down at diana's tired face, "i shall be compelled to accept. as to the rest--i agree. like you, i dislike bad tragedy." diana gave a tiny laugh. "you are all so stiff!" she said _i_ shall go to bed!" "i will take you to the stairs then," said jack promptly, and led her forward. she stopped as they were about to pass his grace, and faced him. tracy bowed very low. "good-night, madam. carstares will know which room i had assigned to you. you will find a servant there." "thank you," she said steadily. "i shall try to forget the happenings of this day, your grace. i see the truth in what you say--we cannot afford to let the world see that we are at enmity, lest it should talk. and, i confess it freely, i find it less hard to forgive you the insults of--of to-day, since they brought--jack--to me. an i had not been in such dire straits, i might never have seen him again." "in fact," bowed his grace, "everything has been for the best!" "i would not say that, sir," she replied, and went out. for a moment there was silence in the room. no one quite knew what to say. as usual, it was tracy who came to the rescue, breaking an uncomfortable pause. "i suggest that we adjourn to the dining-room," he said. "i gather we may have to wait some time before his lordship reappears. o'hara, after you!" "one moment," replied miles. "jack's mare is in a shed somewhere. i said i would see to her." "andrew!" called his grace. "when you have finished superintending the laying of the supper, give orders concerning carstares' mare!" a casual assent came from outside, and immediately afterwards lord andrew's voice was heard shouting instructions to someone, evidently some way off. on the whole, the supper-party passed off quite smoothly. his grace was smilingly urbane, andrew boisterous and amusing, and o'hara bent on keeping the conversation up. richard sat rather silent, but my lord, already deliriously happy, soon let fall his armour and joined in the talk, anxious to hear all the news of town for the last six years. o'hara was several times hard put to it to keep from laughing out loud at his thoughts. the humour of the situation struck him forcibly. after fighting as grimly as these men fought, and after all that had transpired, that they should both sit down to supper as they were doing, appealed to him strongly. he had quite thought that my lord would incline to tragedy and refuse to stay an instant longer in the duke's house. it was not until midnight, when everyone else had gone to bed, that the brothers came face to face, alone. the dining-room was very quiet now, and the table bore a dissipated look with the remains of supper left on it. my lord stood absently playing with the long-handled punch spoon, idly stirring the golden dregs at the bottom of the bowl. the candles shed their light full on his face, and richard, standing opposite in the shadow, had ample opportunity of studying it. it seemed to him that he could not look long enough. unconsciously his eyes devoured every detail of the loved countenance and watched each movement of the slender hand. he found john subtly changed, but quite how he could not define. he had not aged much, and he was still the same laughter-loving jack of the old days, with just that intangible difference. o'hara had felt it, too: a slight impenetrability, a reserve. it was my lord who broke the uncomfortable silence. as if he felt the other's eyes upon him, he looked up with his appealing, whimsical smile. "devil take it, dick, we're as shy as two schoolboys!" richard did not smile, and his brother came round the table to his side. "there's nought to be said betwixt us two, dick. 'twould be so damned unnecessary. after all--we always shared in one another's scrapes!" he stood a moment with his hand on richard's shoulder; then richard turned to him "what you must _think_ of me!" he burst out. "my god, when i realise--" "i know. believe me, dick, i know just what you must have felt. but pray forget it! it's over now, and buried." there was another long silence. lord john withdrew his hand at last, and perched on the edge of the table, smiling across at richard. "i'd well-nigh forgot that you were a middle-aged papa! a son?" "ay--john--after you." "i protest i am flattered. lord, to think of you with a boy of your own!" he laughed, twirling his eyeglass. at last richard smiled. "to think of you an uncle!" he retorted, and suddenly all vestige of stiffness had fled. * * * * * next morning richard went on to wyncham, and diana, jack and o'hara travelled back to sussex. jack would not go home yet. he protested that he was going to be married first, and would then bring home his countess. but he had several instructions to give his brother concerning the preparation of his house. the last thing he requested richard to do was to seek out a certain city merchant, fudby by name, and to rescue a clerk, chilter, from him, bearing him off to wyncham. all this he called from the coach window, just before they set off. richard led jenny, whom he was to ride home, up to the door of the vehicle, and expostulated. "but what in thunder am i to do with the man?" "give him to warburton," advised jack flippantly. "i know he needs a clerk--he always did!" "but perhaps he will not desire to come--" "you do as i tell you!" laughed his brother. "i shall expect to find him at wyncham when i arrive! _au revoir_!" he drew his head in, and the coach rumbled off. chapter xxix lady o'hara is triumphant after spending a restless night, starting at every sound, and hearing the hours strike slowly away, lady o'hara arose not a whit refreshed and considerably more ill at ease than she had been before. during the night she had imagined all sorts of impossible horrors to have befallen her husband, and if, when the reassuring daylight had come, the horrors had somewhat dispersed, enough remained to cause her an anxious morning as she alternated between the hall window and the gate. no less worried was jim salter. he had returned from fittering last night to find his master and sir miles gone, lady o'hara in a state of frightened bewilderment, and the house in a whirl. no one, least of all poor molly, seemed to know exactly where the two men had gone. all she knew was that they had come back upon a scene of turmoil, with mr. beauleigh in the midst of a small crowd of excited servants. her husband had elbowed his way through, and into his ears had mr. beauleigh poured his story. then o'hara seemed to catch the excitement, and she had been hurried into the house with the hasty explanation that jack was off after devil, who had caught diana, and he must to the rescue. ten minutes after, she had an alarming vision of him galloping off down the drive, his sword at his side and pistols in the saddle-holsters. the poor little lady had sent an imploring cry after him, checked almost before it had left her lips. afterwards she wished it had never been uttered, and rather hoped that it had escaped o'hara's ears. salter arrived not half-an-hour later, and his feelings when told that his beloved master had ridden off in search of a fight, may be more easily imagined than described. he was all for setting out in his wake, but her ladyship strongly vetoed the plan, declaring that sir miles would be rescue enough, and she was not going to be left entirely without protectors. jim was far too respectful to point out that there were five able-bodied men, not counting himself, in the house, but as his master had left no instructions for him, he capitulated. he proved nought but a job's comforter next day, for when my lady pessimistically premised that both carstares _and_ her husband were undoubtedly hurt, he did not, as she expected he would, strive to reassure her, but gave a gloomy assent. whereupon she cast an indignant glance in his direction, and turned her back. at four in the afternoon they were both in the hall, anxiously watching the drive. "to be sure, 'tis monstrous late!" remarked molly, with wide, apprehensive eyes. "yes, my lady." "if--if nought were amiss, they should have been back by now, surely?" "yes indeed, my lady." lady o'hara stamped her foot. "don't say jes!" she cried. jim was startled. "i beg pardon, m'lady?" "you are not to say yes! after all, they may have gone a long way--they--er--they may be tired! jenny may have gone lame--anything--anything may have happened!" "yes, m'--i mean certainly, your ladyship!" hastily amended jim. "in fact, i should not be surprised an they were not at all hurt!" he shook his head despondently, but luckily for him the lady failed to notice it, and continued with airy cheerfulness: "for my husband has _often_ told me what an excellent swordsman mr. carstares is, and--" "your ladyship forgets his wound." what she might have been constrained to reply to this is not known, for at that moment came the sound of coach-wheels on the gravel. with one accord she and salter flew to the door, and between them, wrenched it open, just as a gentleman's travelling coach, postillioned by men in gold and black, and emblazoned with the wyncham arms, drew up at the door. my lady was down the steps in the twinkling of an eye, almost before one of the grooms had opened the door to offer an arm to my lord. carstares sprang lightly out, followed by o'hara, seemingly none the worse for wear. molly ran straight into her husband's arms, regardless of the servants, hugging him. jim salter hurried up to my lord. "ye are not hurt, sir?" he cried. carstares handed him his hat and cloak. "nought to speak of, jim. but 'everard' well-nigh finished me for all that!" he laughed at jim's face of horror, and turned to molly, who, having satisfied herself that her husband was quite uninjured and had never once been in danger of his life, had come towards him, full of solicitude for his shoulder. "oh, my dear jack! miles tells me you have hurt your poor shoulder again! and pray what has been done for it? i dare swear not one of you great men had the wit to summon a doctor, as indeed you should have, for--" "whist now, asthore!" adjured her husband. "'tis but a clean scratch after all. take him into the house and give him something to drink! i'll swear 'tis what he needs most!" molly pouted, laughed and complied. over the ale jack related the whole escapade up to the moment when he had parted from diana at littledean. then o'hara took up the tale with a delightful chuckle. "sure, molly, ye never saw anything to equal poor old beauleigh when his daughter had told him jack's name! faith, he didn't know what to do at all, he was so excited! and miss betty i thought would have the vapours from the way she flew from di to jack and back again, in such a state of mind as ye can't imagine!" molly, who had listened with round eyes, drew a deep ecstatic breath. then she bounced up, clapping her hands, and proclaimed that she was right after all! "what will ye be meaning, alanna?" inquired o'hara. "pray, sir, did i not say _over_ and _over_ again that if i could only induce jack to stay with us everything would come right? now, miles, you know i did!" "i remember ye said something like it once," admitted her spouse. "once, indeed! i was always sure of it. and i did coax you to stay, did i not, jack?" she appealed. "you did," he agreed. "you assured me that if i was churlish enough to leave, miles would slowly sicken and pine away!" she ignored her husband's ribald appreciation of this. "then you see that 'tis all owing to me that--" she broke off to shake o'hara, and the meeting ended in riotous hilarity. when he went to change his clothes, carstares found jim already in his room awaiting him. he hailed him gaily, and sat down before his dressing-table. "i require a very festive costume to-night, jim. rose velvet and cream brocade, i think." "very good, your lordship," was the prim reply. jack slewed round. "what's that?" "i understand your lordship is an earl," said poor jim. "now who was the tactless idiot who told you that? i had intended to break the news myself. i suppose now, you know my--story?" "yes, si--my lord. i--i suppose ye won't be requiring my services any longer?" "in heaven's name, why not? do you wish to leave me?" "wish to--! no, sir--my lord--i--i thought ye'd maybe want a smarter valet--and--not me." my lord turned back to the mirror and withdrew the pin from his cravat. "don't be a fool." this cryptic remark seemed greatly to reassure jim. "ye mean it, sir?" "of course i do. i should be lost without you after all this time. marry that nice girl at fittering, and she shall maid my lady. for i'm to be married as soon as may be!" "ay, s--my lord! i'm sure i'm very glad, s--your lordship. rose, sir? with the silver lacing?" "i think so, jim. and a cream--very pale cream waistcoat, broidered in with rose. there is one, i know." "yes, sir--your lordship." my lord eyed him despondently. "er--jim!" "yes--your lordship?" "i'm sorry, but i cannot endure it." "i beg pardon, my lord?" "i can't have you call me 'your lordship,' after every second word--i really cannot." "why, sir--may i still call you 'sir'?" "i would much rather you did." "ay, sir--thank you...." in the middle of tying the bow to his master's wig jim paused, and in the mirror jack saw his face fall. "what's amiss now? and what have you done with my patches?" "in that little box, sir--yes--that one. i was just thinking--here's the haresfoot, sir--that i shall never be able to see ye hold up a coach now!" my lord, striving to affix the patch in just the right spot at the corner of his mouth, tried to control his features, failed, and went off into a peal of laughter that reached o'hara in the room across the landing, and caused him to grin delightedly. he had not heard that laugh for many a long day. epilogue his grace of andover sat at the window of his lodgings at venice, looking down at a letter in his hand. the writing was his sister's. after a moment he drew a deep breath and broke the seal, spreading the sheets out upon the broad sill. "my very dear tracy, "so you have gone again with no farewell to yr. poor sister, sir! i am indeed very offended, but i understand yr. reason. as soon as i sett mine eyes on diana i knew the truth and recognised yr. dark beauty. i am monstrous grieved for you, dear. i quite love her myself, altho' she is very tiresomely lovely, but perhaps as she is dark and i am fair, we shall not clash. "the home-coming was prodigious exciting. andrew was present, dicky, of course, and me. mrs. fanshawe, too, was there, for she knew jack abroad, and a monstrous queer old man, who was vastly fidgetty and overcome to see jack. then sir miles and his wife came, who i thought quite agreeable nice people, and diana's father and aunt, rather bourgeois, but, on the whole, presentable. "everyone knows the truth now, but most people have been prodigious kind and i scarce notice a difference in our reception. dearest dicky is gayer than he was wont to be and more darling, and i almost enjoy being a social outcast. "when diana is properly gowned, as should suit her position (but i grieve to say that she prefers to dress plainly), she will make a prodigious elegantt countess. i have promised to connduct her to my own mantua maker, which is very sacrificing, as i am sure you will agree. i know london will go crazy about her, and, indeed, those who have allready seen her, which is avon and falmouth, are positively foolish. i make no doubtt 'twill be very mortifying, but i suppose it must be borne. "she and jack are prodigious happy together; it is most unfashionable, but so am i happy with dick, so there are a pair of us, and we had best _sett_ fashion. "pray, return soon, my dear tracy, you cannot conceive how i miss you. i was surprised you went away with mr. fortescue, i had no notion you were so friendly. "with dearest love, "yr. sister "lavinia. "p.s.--'twill interest you to hear that miss gunning is to marry coventry. 'tis all over town this last week." * * * * * slowly his grace put the sheets together and handed them to fortescue, who had just come into the room. "these, from my sister, may possibly interest you, frank." fortescue read the letter through, and at the end folded it and handed it back in silence. tracy laid it down on the table at his elbow. "i began--wrongly," he said. "yes," assented his friend. "she was not--that kind of girl." "but having begun wrongly--i could not undo the wrong." "so you made it worse," said fortescue gently. "i would have married her in all honour--" "in your own arrogant fashion, tracy." "as you say--in my own arrogant fashion, frank. if i could go back a year--but where's the use? i am not whining. presently i shall return to england and make my bow to--the countess of wyncham. possibly, i shall not feel one jealous qualm. one never knows. at all events--i'll make that bow." "you will?" frank looked sharply down at him. "nothing more, tracy! you do not purpose--" "nothing more. you see, frank--i love her." "i crave your pardon. yes--she would not take you, but she has, i think, made you. as i once told you, when love came you would count yourself as nought, and her happiness as everything." for a moment his grace was silent, and then back came the old smile, still cynical, yet with less of the sneer in it. "how very pleasant it must be, frank, to have one's prophecies so happily verified!" he purred. "allow me to felicitate you!" the end special thanks are due to sharon partridge for extensive proofreading and correction of this etext. sense and sensibility by jane austen (1811) chapter 1 the family of dashwood had long been settled in sussex. their estate was large, and their residence was at norland park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance. the late owner of this estate was a single man, who lived to a very advanced age, and who for many years of his life, had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister. but her death, which happened ten years before his own, produced a great alteration in his home; for to supply her loss, he invited and received into his house the family of his nephew mr. henry dashwood, the legal inheritor of the norland estate, and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it. in the society of his nephew and niece, and their children, the old gentleman's days were comfortably spent. his attachment to them all increased. the constant attention of mr. and mrs. henry dashwood to his wishes, which proceeded not merely from interest, but from goodness of heart, gave him every degree of solid comfort which his age could receive; and the cheerfulness of the children added a relish to his existence. by a former marriage, mr. henry dashwood had one son: by his present lady, three daughters. the son, a steady respectable young man, was amply provided for by the fortune of his mother, which had been large, and half of which devolved on him on his coming of age. by his own marriage, likewise, which happened soon afterwards, he added to his wealth. to him therefore the succession to the norland estate was not so really important as to his sisters; for their fortune, independent of what might arise to them from their father's inheriting that property, could be but small. their mother had nothing, and their father only seven thousand pounds in his own disposal; for the remaining moiety of his first wife's fortune was also secured to her child, and he had only a life-interest in it. the old gentleman died: his will was read, and like almost every other will, gave as much disappointment as pleasure. he was neither so unjust, nor so ungrateful, as to leave his estate from his nephew;--but he left it to him on such terms as destroyed half the value of the bequest. mr. dashwood had wished for it more for the sake of his wife and daughters than for himself or his son;--but to his son, and his son's son, a child of four years old, it was secured, in such a way, as to leave to himself no power of providing for those who were most dear to him, and who most needed a provision by any charge on the estate, or by any sale of its valuable woods. the whole was tied up for the benefit of this child, who, in occasional visits with his father and mother at norland, had so far gained on the affections of his uncle, by such attractions as are by no means unusual in children of two or three years old; an imperfect articulation, an earnest desire of having his own way, many cunning tricks, and a great deal of noise, as to outweigh all the value of all the attention which, for years, he had received from his niece and her daughters. he meant not to be unkind, however, and, as a mark of his affection for the three girls, he left them a thousand pounds a-piece. mr. dashwood's disappointment was, at first, severe; but his temper was cheerful and sanguine; and he might reasonably hope to live many years, and by living economically, lay by a considerable sum from the produce of an estate already large, and capable of almost immediate improvement. but the fortune, which had been so tardy in coming, was his only one twelvemonth. he survived his uncle no longer; and ten thousand pounds, including the late legacies, was all that remained for his widow and daughters. his son was sent for as soon as his danger was known, and to him mr. dashwood recommended, with all the strength and urgency which illness could command, the interest of his mother-in-law and sisters. mr. john dashwood had not the strong feelings of the rest of the family; but he was affected by a recommendation of such a nature at such a time, and he promised to do every thing in his power to make them comfortable. his father was rendered easy by such an assurance, and mr. john dashwood had then leisure to consider how much there might prudently be in his power to do for them. he was not an ill-disposed young man, unless to be rather cold hearted and rather selfish is to be ill-disposed: but he was, in general, well respected; for he conducted himself with propriety in the discharge of his ordinary duties. had he married a more amiable woman, he might have been made still more respectable than he was:--he might even have been made amiable himself; for he was very young when he married, and very fond of his wife. but mrs. john dashwood was a strong caricature of himself;--more narrow-minded and selfish. when he gave his promise to his father, he meditated within himself to increase the fortunes of his sisters by the present of a thousand pounds a-piece. he then really thought himself equal to it. the prospect of four thousand a-year, in addition to his present income, besides the remaining half of his own mother's fortune, warmed his heart, and made him feel capable of generosity.-"yes, he would give them three thousand pounds: it would be liberal and handsome! it would be enough to make them completely easy. three thousand pounds! he could spare so considerable a sum with little inconvenience."-he thought of it all day long, and for many days successively, and he did not repent. no sooner was his father's funeral over, than mrs. john dashwood, without sending any notice of her intention to her mother-in-law, arrived with her child and their attendants. no one could dispute her right to come; the house was her husband's from the moment of his father's decease; but the indelicacy of her conduct was so much the greater, and to a woman in mrs. dashwood's situation, with only common feelings, must have been highly unpleasing;--but in her mind there was a sense of honor so keen, a generosity so romantic, that any offence of the kind, by whomsoever given or received, was to her a source of immovable disgust. mrs. john dashwood had never been a favourite with any of her husband's family; but she had had no opportunity, till the present, of shewing them with how little attention to the comfort of other people she could act when occasion required it. so acutely did mrs. dashwood feel this ungracious behaviour, and so earnestly did she despise her daughter-in-law for it, that, on the arrival of the latter, she would have quitted the house for ever, had not the entreaty of her eldest girl induced her first to reflect on the propriety of going, and her own tender love for all her three children determined her afterwards to stay, and for their sakes avoid a breach with their brother. elinor, this eldest daughter, whose advice was so effectual, possessed a strength of understanding, and coolness of judgment, which qualified her, though only nineteen, to be the counsellor of her mother, and enabled her frequently to counteract, to the advantage of them all, that eagerness of mind in mrs. dashwood which must generally have led to imprudence. she had an excellent heart;--her disposition was affectionate, and her feelings were strong; but she knew how to govern them: it was a knowledge which her mother had yet to learn; and which one of her sisters had resolved never to be taught. marianne's abilities were, in many respects, quite equal to elinor's. she was sensible and clever; but eager in everything: her sorrows, her joys, could have no moderation. she was generous, amiable, interesting: she was everything but prudent. the resemblance between her and her mother was strikingly great. elinor saw, with concern, the excess of her sister's sensibility; but by mrs. dashwood it was valued and cherished. they encouraged each other now in the violence of their affliction. the agony of grief which overpowered them at first, was voluntarily renewed, was sought for, was created again and again. they gave themselves up wholly to their sorrow, seeking increase of wretchedness in every reflection that could afford it, and resolved against ever admitting consolation in future. elinor, too, was deeply afflicted; but still she could struggle, she could exert herself. she could consult with her brother, could receive her sister-in-law on her arrival, and treat her with proper attention; and could strive to rouse her mother to similar exertion, and encourage her to similar forbearance. margaret, the other sister, was a good-humored, well-disposed girl; but as she had already imbibed a good deal of marianne's romance, without having much of her sense, she did not, at thirteen, bid fair to equal her sisters at a more advanced period of life. chapter 2 mrs. john dashwood now installed herself mistress of norland; and her mother and sisters-in-law were degraded to the condition of visitors. as such, however, they were treated by her with quiet civility; and by her husband with as much kindness as he could feel towards anybody beyond himself, his wife, and their child. he really pressed them, with some earnestness, to consider norland as their home; and, as no plan appeared so eligible to mrs. dashwood as remaining there till she could accommodate herself with a house in the neighbourhood, his invitation was accepted. a continuance in a place where everything reminded her of former delight, was exactly what suited her mind. in seasons of cheerfulness, no temper could be more cheerful than hers, or possess, in a greater degree, that sanguine expectation of happiness which is happiness itself. but in sorrow she must be equally carried away by her fancy, and as far beyond consolation as in pleasure she was beyond alloy. mrs. john dashwood did not at all approve of what her husband intended to do for his sisters. to take three thousand pounds from the fortune of their dear little boy would be impoverishing him to the most dreadful degree. she begged him to think again on the subject. how could he answer it to himself to rob his child, and his only child too, of so large a sum? and what possible claim could the miss dashwoods, who were related to him only by half blood, which she considered as no relationship at all, have on his generosity to so large an amount. it was very well known that no affection was ever supposed to exist between the children of any man by different marriages; and why was he to ruin himself, and their poor little harry, by giving away all his money to his half sisters? "it was my father's last request to me," replied her husband, "that i should assist his widow and daughters." "he did not know what he was talking of, i dare say; ten to one but he was light-headed at the time. had he been in his right senses, he could not have thought of such a thing as begging you to give away half your fortune from your own child." "he did not stipulate for any particular sum, my dear fanny; he only requested me, in general terms, to assist them, and make their situation more comfortable than it was in his power to do. perhaps it would have been as well if he had left it wholly to myself. he could hardly suppose i should neglect them. but as he required the promise, i could not do less than give it; at least i thought so at the time. the promise, therefore, was given, and must be performed. something must be done for them whenever they leave norland and settle in a new home." "well, then, let something be done for them; but that something need not be three thousand pounds. consider," she added, "that when the money is once parted with, it never can return. your sisters will marry, and it will be gone for ever. if, indeed, it could be restored to our poor little boy--" "why, to be sure," said her husband, very gravely, "that would make great difference. the time may come when harry will regret that so large a sum was parted with. if he should have a numerous family, for instance, it would be a very convenient addition." "to be sure it would." "perhaps, then, it would be better for all parties, if the sum were diminished one half.--five hundred pounds would be a prodigious increase to their fortunes!" "oh! beyond anything great! what brother on earth would do half so much for his sisters, even if really his sisters! and as it is--only half blood!--but you have such a generous spirit!" "i would not wish to do any thing mean," he replied. "one had rather, on such occasions, do too much than too little. no one, at least, can think i have not done enough for them: even themselves, they can hardly expect more." "there is no knowing what they may expect," said the lady, "but we are not to think of their expectations: the question is, what you can afford to do." "certainly--and i think i may afford to give them five hundred pounds a-piece. as it is, without any addition of mine, they will each have about three thousand pounds on their mother's death--a very comfortable fortune for any young woman." "to be sure it is; and, indeed, it strikes me that they can want no addition at all. they will have ten thousand pounds divided amongst them. if they marry, they will be sure of doing well, and if they do not, they may all live very comfortably together on the interest of ten thousand pounds." "that is very true, and, therefore, i do not know whether, upon the whole, it would not be more advisable to do something for their mother while she lives, rather than for them--something of the annuity kind i mean.--my sisters would feel the good effects of it as well as herself. a hundred a year would make them all perfectly comfortable." his wife hesitated a little, however, in giving her consent to this plan. "to be sure," said she, "it is better than parting with fifteen hundred pounds at once. but, then, if mrs. dashwood should live fifteen years we shall be completely taken in." "fifteen years! my dear fanny; her life cannot be worth half that purchase." "certainly not; but if you observe, people always live for ever when there is an annuity to be paid them; and she is very stout and healthy, and hardly forty. an annuity is a very serious business; it comes over and over every year, and there is no getting rid of it. you are not aware of what you are doing. i have known a great deal of the trouble of annuities; for my mother was clogged with the payment of three to old superannuated servants by my father's will, and it is amazing how disagreeable she found it. twice every year these annuities were to be paid; and then there was the trouble of getting it to them; and then one of them was said to have died, and afterwards it turned out to be no such thing. my mother was quite sick of it. her income was not her own, she said, with such perpetual claims on it; and it was the more unkind in my father, because, otherwise, the money would have been entirely at my mother's disposal, without any restriction whatever. it has given me such an abhorrence of annuities, that i am sure i would not pin myself down to the payment of one for all the world." "it is certainly an unpleasant thing," replied mr. dashwood, "to have those kind of yearly drains on one's income. one's fortune, as your mother justly says, is not one's own. to be tied down to the regular payment of such a sum, on every rent day, is by no means desirable: it takes away one's independence." "undoubtedly; and after all you have no thanks for it. they think themselves secure, you do no more than what is expected, and it raises no gratitude at all. if i were you, whatever i did should be done at my own discretion entirely. i would not bind myself to allow them any thing yearly. it may be very inconvenient some years to spare a hundred, or even fifty pounds from our own expenses." "i believe you are right, my love; it will be better that there should be no annuity in the case; whatever i may give them occasionally will be of far greater assistance than a yearly allowance, because they would only enlarge their style of living if they felt sure of a larger income, and would not be sixpence the richer for it at the end of the year. it will certainly be much the best way. a present of fifty pounds, now and then, will prevent their ever being distressed for money, and will, i think, be amply discharging my promise to my father." "to be sure it will. indeed, to say the truth, i am convinced within myself that your father had no idea of your giving them any money at all. the assistance he thought of, i dare say, was only such as might be reasonably expected of you; for instance, such as looking out for a comfortable small house for them, helping them to move their things, and sending them presents of fish and game, and so forth, whenever they are in season. i'll lay my life that he meant nothing farther; indeed, it would be very strange and unreasonable if he did. do but consider, my dear mr. dashwood, how excessively comfortable your mother-in-law and her daughters may live on the interest of seven thousand pounds, besides the thousand pounds belonging to each of the girls, which brings them in fifty pounds a year a-piece, and, of course, they will pay their mother for their board out of it. altogether, they will have five hundred a-year amongst them, and what on earth can four women want for more than that?--they will live so cheap! their housekeeping will be nothing at all. they will have no carriage, no horses, and hardly any servants; they will keep no company, and can have no expenses of any kind! only conceive how comfortable they will be! five hundred a year! i am sure i cannot imagine how they will spend half of it; and as to your giving them more, it is quite absurd to think of it. they will be much more able to give you something." "upon my word," said mr. dashwood, "i believe you are perfectly right. my father certainly could mean nothing more by his request to me than what you say. i clearly understand it now, and i will strictly fulfil my engagement by such acts of assistance and kindness to them as you have described. when my mother removes into another house my services shall be readily given to accommodate her as far as i can. some little present of furniture too may be acceptable then." "certainly," returned mrs. john dashwood. "but, however, one thing must be considered. when your father and mother moved to norland, though the furniture of stanhill was sold, all the china, plate, and linen was saved, and is now left to your mother. her house will therefore be almost completely fitted up as soon as she takes it." "that is a material consideration undoubtedly. a valuable legacy indeed! and yet some of the plate would have been a very pleasant addition to our own stock here." "yes; and the set of breakfast china is twice as handsome as what belongs to this house. a great deal too handsome, in my opinion, for any place they can ever afford to live in. but, however, so it is. your father thought only of them. and i must say this: that you owe no particular gratitude to him, nor attention to his wishes; for we very well know that if he could, he would have left almost everything in the world to them." this argument was irresistible. it gave to his intentions whatever of decision was wanting before; and he finally resolved, that it would be absolutely unnecessary, if not highly indecorous, to do more for the widow and children of his father, than such kind of neighbourly acts as his own wife pointed out. chapter 3 mrs. dashwood remained at norland several months; not from any disinclination to move when the sight of every well known spot ceased to raise the violent emotion which it produced for a while; for when her spirits began to revive, and her mind became capable of some other exertion than that of heightening its affliction by melancholy remembrances, she was impatient to be gone, and indefatigable in her inquiries for a suitable dwelling in the neighbourhood of norland; for to remove far from that beloved spot was impossible. but she could hear of no situation that at once answered her notions of comfort and ease, and suited the prudence of her eldest daughter, whose steadier judgment rejected several houses as too large for their income, which her mother would have approved. mrs. dashwood had been informed by her husband of the solemn promise on the part of his son in their favour, which gave comfort to his last earthly reflections. she doubted the sincerity of this assurance no more than he had doubted it himself, and she thought of it for her daughters' sake with satisfaction, though as for herself she was persuaded that a much smaller provision than 7000l would support her in affluence. for their brother's sake, too, for the sake of his own heart, she rejoiced; and she reproached herself for being unjust to his merit before, in believing him incapable of generosity. his attentive behaviour to herself and his sisters convinced her that their welfare was dear to him, and, for a long time, she firmly relied on the liberality of his intentions. the contempt which she had, very early in their acquaintance, felt for her daughter-in-law, was very much increased by the farther knowledge of her character, which half a year's residence in her family afforded; and perhaps in spite of every consideration of politeness or maternal affection on the side of the former, the two ladies might have found it impossible to have lived together so long, had not a particular circumstance occurred to give still greater eligibility, according to the opinions of mrs. dashwood, to her daughters' continuance at norland. this circumstance was a growing attachment between her eldest girl and the brother of mrs. john dashwood, a gentleman-like and pleasing young man, who was introduced to their acquaintance soon after his sister's establishment at norland, and who had since spent the greatest part of his time there. some mothers might have encouraged the intimacy from motives of interest, for edward ferrars was the eldest son of a man who had died very rich; and some might have repressed it from motives of prudence, for, except a trifling sum, the whole of his fortune depended on the will of his mother. but mrs. dashwood was alike uninfluenced by either consideration. it was enough for her that he appeared to be amiable, that he loved her daughter, and that elinor returned the partiality. it was contrary to every doctrine of hers that difference of fortune should keep any couple asunder who were attracted by resemblance of disposition; and that elinor's merit should not be acknowledged by every one who knew her, was to her comprehension impossible. edward ferrars was not recommended to their good opinion by any peculiar graces of person or address. he was not handsome, and his manners required intimacy to make them pleasing. he was too diffident to do justice to himself; but when his natural shyness was overcome, his behaviour gave every indication of an open, affectionate heart. his understanding was good, and his education had given it solid improvement. but he was neither fitted by abilities nor disposition to answer the wishes of his mother and sister, who longed to see him distinguished--as--they hardly knew what. they wanted him to make a fine figure in the world in some manner or other. his mother wished to interest him in political concerns, to get him into parliament, or to see him connected with some of the great men of the day. mrs. john dashwood wished it likewise; but in the mean while, till one of these superior blessings could be attained, it would have quieted her ambition to see him driving a barouche. but edward had no turn for great men or barouches. all his wishes centered in domestic comfort and the quiet of private life. fortunately he had a younger brother who was more promising. edward had been staying several weeks in the house before he engaged much of mrs. dashwood's attention; for she was, at that time, in such affliction as rendered her careless of surrounding objects. she saw only that he was quiet and unobtrusive, and she liked him for it. he did not disturb the wretchedness of her mind by ill-timed conversation. she was first called to observe and approve him farther, by a reflection which elinor chanced one day to make on the difference between him and his sister. it was a contrast which recommended him most forcibly to her mother. "it is enough," said she; "to say that he is unlike fanny is enough. it implies everything amiable. i love him already." "i think you will like him," said elinor, "when you know more of him." "like him!" replied her mother with a smile. "i feel no sentiment of approbation inferior to love." "you may esteem him." "i have never yet known what it was to separate esteem and love." mrs. dashwood now took pains to get acquainted with him. her manners were attaching, and soon banished his reserve. she speedily comprehended all his merits; the persuasion of his regard for elinor perhaps assisted her penetration; but she really felt assured of his worth: and even that quietness of manner, which militated against all her established ideas of what a young man's address ought to be, was no longer uninteresting when she knew his heart to be warm and his temper affectionate. no sooner did she perceive any symptom of love in his behaviour to elinor, than she considered their serious attachment as certain, and looked forward to their marriage as rapidly approaching. "in a few months, my dear marianne." said she, "elinor will, in all probability be settled for life. we shall miss her; but she will be happy." "oh! mama, how shall we do without her?" "my love, it will be scarcely a separation. we shall live within a few miles of each other, and shall meet every day of our lives. you will gain a brother, a real, affectionate brother. i have the highest opinion in the world of edward's heart. but you look grave, marianne; do you disapprove your sister's choice?" "perhaps," said marianne, "i may consider it with some surprise. edward is very amiable, and i love him tenderly. but yet--he is not the kind of young man--there is something wanting--his figure is not striking; it has none of that grace which i should expect in the man who could seriously attach my sister. his eyes want all that spirit, that fire, which at once announce virtue and intelligence. and besides all this, i am afraid, mama, he has no real taste. music seems scarcely to attract him, and though he admires elinor's drawings very much, it is not the admiration of a person who can understand their worth. it is evident, in spite of his frequent attention to her while she draws, that in fact he knows nothing of the matter. he admires as a lover, not as a connoisseur. to satisfy me, those characters must be united. i could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own. he must enter into all my feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both. oh! mama, how spiritless, how tame was edward's manner in reading to us last night! i felt for my sister most severely. yet she bore it with so much composure, she seemed scarcely to notice it. i could hardly keep my seat. to hear those beautiful lines which have frequently almost driven me wild, pronounced with such impenetrable calmness, such dreadful indifference!" "he would certainly have done more justice to simple and elegant prose. i thought so at the time; but you would give him cowper." "nay, mama, if he is not to be animated by cowper!--but we must allow for difference of taste. elinor has not my feelings, and therefore she may overlook it, and be happy with him. but it would have broke my heart, had i loved him, to hear him read with so little sensibility. mama, the more i know of the world, the more am i convinced that i shall never see a man whom i can really love. i require so much! he must have all edward's virtues, and his person and manners must ornament his goodness with every possible charm." "remember, my love, that you are not seventeen. it is yet too early in life to despair of such a happiness. why should you be less fortunate than your mother? in one circumstance only, my marianne, may your destiny be different from hers!" chapter 4 "what a pity it is, elinor," said marianne, "that edward should have no taste for drawing." "no taste for drawing!" replied elinor, "why should you think so? he does not draw himself, indeed, but he has great pleasure in seeing the performances of other people, and i assure you he is by no means deficient in natural taste, though he has not had opportunities of improving it. had he ever been in the way of learning, i think he would have drawn very well. he distrusts his own judgment in such matters so much, that he is always unwilling to give his opinion on any picture; but he has an innate propriety and simplicity of taste, which in general direct him perfectly right." marianne was afraid of offending, and said no more on the subject; but the kind of approbation which elinor described as excited in him by the drawings of other people, was very far from that rapturous delight, which, in her opinion, could alone be called taste. yet, though smiling within herself at the mistake, she honoured her sister for that blind partiality to edward which produced it. "i hope, marianne," continued elinor, "you do not consider him as deficient in general taste. indeed, i think i may say that you cannot, for your behaviour to him is perfectly cordial, and if that were your opinion, i am sure you could never be civil to him." marianne hardly knew what to say. she would not wound the feelings of her sister on any account, and yet to say what she did not believe was impossible. at length she replied: "do not be offended, elinor, if my praise of him is not in every thing equal to your sense of his merits. i have not had so many opportunities of estimating the minuter propensities of his mind, his inclinations and tastes, as you have; but i have the highest opinion in the world of his goodness and sense. i think him every thing that is worthy and amiable." "i am sure," replied elinor, with a smile, "that his dearest friends could not be dissatisfied with such commendation as that. i do not perceive how you could express yourself more warmly." marianne was rejoiced to find her sister so easily pleased. "of his sense and his goodness," continued elinor, "no one can, i think, be in doubt, who has seen him often enough to engage him in unreserved conversation. the excellence of his understanding and his principles can be concealed only by that shyness which too often keeps him silent. you know enough of him to do justice to his solid worth. but of his minuter propensities, as you call them you have from peculiar circumstances been kept more ignorant than myself. he and i have been at times thrown a good deal together, while you have been wholly engrossed on the most affectionate principle by my mother. i have seen a great deal of him, have studied his sentiments and heard his opinion on subjects of literature and taste; and, upon the whole, i venture to pronounce that his mind is well-informed, enjoyment of books exceedingly great, his imagination lively, his observation just and correct, and his taste delicate and pure. his abilities in every respect improve as much upon acquaintance as his manners and person. at first sight, his address is certainly not striking; and his person can hardly be called handsome, till the expression of his eyes, which are uncommonly good, and the general sweetness of his countenance, is perceived. at present, i know him so well, that i think him really handsome; or at least, almost so. what say you, marianne?" "i shall very soon think him handsome, elinor, if i do not now. when you tell me to love him as a brother, i shall no more see imperfection in his face, than i now do in his heart." elinor started at this declaration, and was sorry for the warmth she had been betrayed into, in speaking of him. she felt that edward stood very high in her opinion. she believed the regard to be mutual; but she required greater certainty of it to make marianne's conviction of their attachment agreeable to her. she knew that what marianne and her mother conjectured one moment, they believed the next--that with them, to wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect. she tried to explain the real state of the case to her sister. "i do not attempt to deny," said she, "that i think very highly of him--that i greatly esteem, that i like him." marianne here burst forth with indignation-"esteem him! like him! cold-hearted elinor! oh! worse than cold-hearted! ashamed of being otherwise. use those words again, and i will leave the room this moment." elinor could not help laughing. "excuse me," said she; "and be assured that i meant no offence to you, by speaking, in so quiet a way, of my own feelings. believe them to be stronger than i have declared; believe them, in short, to be such as his merit, and the suspicion--the hope of his affection for me may warrant, without imprudence or folly. but farther than this you must not believe. i am by no means assured of his regard for me. there are moments when the extent of it seems doubtful; and till his sentiments are fully known, you cannot wonder at my wishing to avoid any encouragement of my own partiality, by believing or calling it more than it is. in my heart i feel little--scarcely any doubt of his preference. but there are other points to be considered besides his inclination. he is very far from being independent. what his mother really is we cannot know; but, from fanny's occasional mention of her conduct and opinions, we have never been disposed to think her amiable; and i am very much mistaken if edward is not himself aware that there would be many difficulties in his way, if he were to wish to marry a woman who had not either a great fortune or high rank." marianne was astonished to find how much the imagination of her mother and herself had outstripped the truth. "and you really are not engaged to him!" said she. "yet it certainly soon will happen. but two advantages will proceed from this delay. i shall not lose you so soon, and edward will have greater opportunity of improving that natural taste for your favourite pursuit which must be so indispensably necessary to your future felicity. oh! if he should be so far stimulated by your genius as to learn to draw himself, how delightful it would be!" elinor had given her real opinion to her sister. she could not consider her partiality for edward in so prosperous a state as marianne had believed it. there was, at times, a want of spirits about him which, if it did not denote indifference, spoke of something almost as unpromising. a doubt of her regard, supposing him to feel it, need not give him more than inquietude. it would not be likely to produce that dejection of mind which frequently attended him. a more reasonable cause might be found in the dependent situation which forbade the indulgence of his affection. she knew that his mother neither behaved to him so as to make his home comfortable at present, nor to give him any assurance that he might form a home for himself, without strictly attending to her views for his aggrandizement. with such a knowledge as this, it was impossible for elinor to feel easy on the subject. she was far from depending on that result of his preference of her, which her mother and sister still considered as certain. nay, the longer they were together the more doubtful seemed the nature of his regard; and sometimes, for a few painful minutes, she believed it to be no more than friendship. but, whatever might really be its limits, it was enough, when perceived by his sister, to make her uneasy, and at the same time, (which was still more common,) to make her uncivil. she took the first opportunity of affronting her mother-in-law on the occasion, talking to her so expressively of her brother's great expectations, of mrs. ferrars's resolution that both her sons should marry well, and of the danger attending any young woman who attempted to draw him in; that mrs. dashwood could neither pretend to be unconscious, nor endeavor to be calm. she gave her an answer which marked her contempt, and instantly left the room, resolving that, whatever might be the inconvenience or expense of so sudden a removal, her beloved elinor should not be exposed another week to such insinuations. in this state of her spirits, a letter was delivered to her from the post, which contained a proposal particularly well timed. it was the offer of a small house, on very easy terms, belonging to a relation of her own, a gentleman of consequence and property in devonshire. the letter was from this gentleman himself, and written in the true spirit of friendly accommodation. he understood that she was in need of a dwelling; and though the house he now offered her was merely a cottage, he assured her that everything should be done to it which she might think necessary, if the situation pleased her. he earnestly pressed her, after giving the particulars of the house and garden, to come with her daughters to barton park, the place of his own residence, from whence she might judge, herself, whether barton cottage, for the houses were in the same parish, could, by any alteration, be made comfortable to her. he seemed really anxious to accommodate them and the whole of his letter was written in so friendly a style as could not fail of giving pleasure to his cousin; more especially at a moment when she was suffering under the cold and unfeeling behaviour of her nearer connections. she needed no time for deliberation or inquiry. her resolution was formed as she read. the situation of barton, in a county so far distant from sussex as devonshire, which, but a few hours before, would have been a sufficient objection to outweigh every possible advantage belonging to the place, was now its first recommendation. to quit the neighbourhood of norland was no longer an evil; it was an object of desire; it was a blessing, in comparison of the misery of continuing her daughter-in-law's guest; and to remove for ever from that beloved place would be less painful than to inhabit or visit it while such a woman was its mistress. she instantly wrote sir john middleton her acknowledgment of his kindness, and her acceptance of his proposal; and then hastened to shew both letters to her daughters, that she might be secure of their approbation before her answer were sent. elinor had always thought it would be more prudent for them to settle at some distance from norland, than immediately amongst their present acquaintance. on that head, therefore, it was not for her to oppose her mother's intention of removing into devonshire. the house, too, as described by sir john, was on so simple a scale, and the rent so uncommonly moderate, as to leave her no right of objection on either point; and, therefore, though it was not a plan which brought any charm to her fancy, though it was a removal from the vicinity of norland beyond her wishes, she made no attempt to dissuade her mother from sending a letter of acquiescence. chapter 5 no sooner was her answer dispatched, than mrs. dashwood indulged herself in the pleasure of announcing to her son-in-law and his wife that she was provided with a house, and should incommode them no longer than till every thing were ready for her inhabiting it. they heard her with surprise. mrs. john dashwood said nothing; but her husband civilly hoped that she would not be settled far from norland. she had great satisfaction in replying that she was going into devonshire.--edward turned hastily towards her, on hearing this, and, in a voice of surprise and concern, which required no explanation to her, repeated, "devonshire! are you, indeed, going there? so far from hence! and to what part of it?" she explained the situation. it was within four miles northward of exeter. "it is but a cottage," she continued, "but i hope to see many of my friends in it. a room or two can easily be added; and if my friends find no difficulty in travelling so far to see me, i am sure i will find none in accommodating them." she concluded with a very kind invitation to mr. and mrs. john dashwood to visit her at barton; and to edward she gave one with still greater affection. though her late conversation with her daughter-in-law had made her resolve on remaining at norland no longer than was unavoidable, it had not produced the smallest effect on her in that point to which it principally tended. to separate edward and elinor was as far from being her object as ever; and she wished to show mrs. john dashwood, by this pointed invitation to her brother, how totally she disregarded her disapprobation of the match. mr. john dashwood told his mother again and again how exceedingly sorry he was that she had taken a house at such a distance from norland as to prevent his being of any service to her in removing her furniture. he really felt conscientiously vexed on the occasion; for the very exertion to which he had limited the performance of his promise to his father was by this arrangement rendered impracticable.-the furniture was all sent around by water. it chiefly consisted of household linen, plate, china, and books, with a handsome pianoforte of marianne's. mrs. john dashwood saw the packages depart with a sigh: she could not help feeling it hard that as mrs. dashwood's income would be so trifling in comparison with their own, she should have any handsome article of furniture. mrs. dashwood took the house for a twelvemonth; it was ready furnished, and she might have immediate possession. no difficulty arose on either side in the agreement; and she waited only for the disposal of her effects at norland, and to determine her future household, before she set off for the west; and this, as she was exceedingly rapid in the performance of everything that interested her, was soon done.--the horses which were left her by her husband had been sold soon after his death, and an opportunity now offering of disposing of her carriage, she agreed to sell that likewise at the earnest advice of her eldest daughter. for the comfort of her children, had she consulted only her own wishes, she would have kept it; but the discretion of elinor prevailed. her wisdom too limited the number of their servants to three; two maids and a man, with whom they were speedily provided from amongst those who had formed their establishment at norland. the man and one of the maids were sent off immediately into devonshire, to prepare the house for their mistress's arrival; for as lady middleton was entirely unknown to mrs. dashwood, she preferred going directly to the cottage to being a visitor at barton park; and she relied so undoubtingly on sir john's description of the house, as to feel no curiosity to examine it herself till she entered it as her own. her eagerness to be gone from norland was preserved from diminution by the evident satisfaction of her daughter-in-law in the prospect of her removal; a satisfaction which was but feebly attempted to be concealed under a cold invitation to her to defer her departure. now was the time when her son-in-law's promise to his father might with particular propriety be fulfilled. since he had neglected to do it on first coming to the estate, their quitting his house might be looked on as the most suitable period for its accomplishment. but mrs. dashwood began shortly to give over every hope of the kind, and to be convinced, from the general drift of his discourse, that his assistance extended no farther than their maintenance for six months at norland. he so frequently talked of the increasing expenses of housekeeping, and of the perpetual demands upon his purse, which a man of any consequence in the world was beyond calculation exposed to, that he seemed rather to stand in need of more money himself than to have any design of giving money away. in a very few weeks from the day which brought sir john middleton's first letter to norland, every thing was so far settled in their future abode as to enable mrs. dashwood and her daughters to begin their journey. many were the tears shed by them in their last adieus to a place so much beloved. "dear, dear norland!" said marianne, as she wandered alone before the house, on the last evening of their being there; "when shall i cease to regret you!--when learn to feel a home elsewhere!--oh! happy house, could you know what i suffer in now viewing you from this spot, from whence perhaps i may view you no more!--and you, ye well-known trees!--but you will continue the same.--no leaf will decay because we are removed, nor any branch become motionless although we can observe you no longer!--no; you will continue the same; unconscious of the pleasure or the regret you occasion, and insensible of any change in those who walk under your shade!--but who will remain to enjoy you?" chapter 6 the first part of their journey was performed in too melancholy a disposition to be otherwise than tedious and unpleasant. but as they drew towards the end of it, their interest in the appearance of a country which they were to inhabit overcame their dejection, and a view of barton valley as they entered it gave them cheerfulness. it was a pleasant fertile spot, well wooded, and rich in pasture. after winding along it for more than a mile, they reached their own house. a small green court was the whole of its demesne in front; and a neat wicket gate admitted them into it. as a house, barton cottage, though small, was comfortable and compact; but as a cottage it was defective, for the building was regular, the roof was tiled, the window shutters were not painted green, nor were the walls covered with honeysuckles. a narrow passage led directly through the house into the garden behind. on each side of the entrance was a sitting room, about sixteen feet square; and beyond them were the offices and the stairs. four bed-rooms and two garrets formed the rest of the house. it had not been built many years and was in good repair. in comparison of norland, it was poor and small indeed!--but the tears which recollection called forth as they entered the house were soon dried away. they were cheered by the joy of the servants on their arrival, and each for the sake of the others resolved to appear happy. it was very early in september; the season was fine, and from first seeing the place under the advantage of good weather, they received an impression in its favour which was of material service in recommending it to their lasting approbation. the situation of the house was good. high hills rose immediately behind, and at no great distance on each side; some of which were open downs, the others cultivated and woody. the village of barton was chiefly on one of these hills, and formed a pleasant view from the cottage windows. the prospect in front was more extensive; it commanded the whole of the valley, and reached into the country beyond. the hills which surrounded the cottage terminated the valley in that direction; under another name, and in another course, it branched out again between two of the steepest of them. with the size and furniture of the house mrs. dashwood was upon the whole well satisfied; for though her former style of life rendered many additions to the latter indispensable, yet to add and improve was a delight to her; and she had at this time ready money enough to supply all that was wanted of greater elegance to the apartments. "as for the house itself, to be sure," said she, "it is too small for our family, but we will make ourselves tolerably comfortable for the present, as it is too late in the year for improvements. perhaps in the spring, if i have plenty of money, as i dare say i shall, we may think about building. these parlors are both too small for such parties of our friends as i hope to see often collected here; and i have some thoughts of throwing the passage into one of them with perhaps a part of the other, and so leave the remainder of that other for an entrance; this, with a new drawing room which may be easily added, and a bed-chamber and garret above, will make it a very snug little cottage. i could wish the stairs were handsome. but one must not expect every thing; though i suppose it would be no difficult matter to widen them. i shall see how much i am before-hand with the world in the spring, and we will plan our improvements accordingly." in the mean time, till all these alterations could be made from the savings of an income of five hundred a-year by a woman who never saved in her life, they were wise enough to be contented with the house as it was; and each of them was busy in arranging their particular concerns, and endeavoring, by placing around them books and other possessions, to form themselves a home. marianne's pianoforte was unpacked and properly disposed of; and elinor's drawings were affixed to the walls of their sitting room. in such employments as these they were interrupted soon after breakfast the next day by the entrance of their landlord, who called to welcome them to barton, and to offer them every accommodation from his own house and garden in which theirs might at present be deficient. sir john middleton was a good looking man about forty. he had formerly visited at stanhill, but it was too long for his young cousins to remember him. his countenance was thoroughly good-humoured; and his manners were as friendly as the style of his letter. their arrival seemed to afford him real satisfaction, and their comfort to be an object of real solicitude to him. he said much of his earnest desire of their living in the most sociable terms with his family, and pressed them so cordially to dine at barton park every day till they were better settled at home, that, though his entreaties were carried to a point of perseverance beyond civility, they could not give offence. his kindness was not confined to words; for within an hour after he left them, a large basket full of garden stuff and fruit arrived from the park, which was followed before the end of the day by a present of game. he insisted, moreover, on conveying all their letters to and from the post for them, and would not be denied the satisfaction of sending them his newspaper every day. lady middleton had sent a very civil message by him, denoting her intention of waiting on mrs. dashwood as soon as she could be assured that her visit would be no inconvenience; and as this message was answered by an invitation equally polite, her ladyship was introduced to them the next day. they were, of course, very anxious to see a person on whom so much of their comfort at barton must depend; and the elegance of her appearance was favourable to their wishes. lady middleton was not more than six or seven and twenty; her face was handsome, her figure tall and striking, and her address graceful. her manners had all the elegance which her husband's wanted. but they would have been improved by some share of his frankness and warmth; and her visit was long enough to detract something from their first admiration, by shewing that, though perfectly well-bred, she was reserved, cold, and had nothing to say for herself beyond the most common-place inquiry or remark. conversation however was not wanted, for sir john was very chatty, and lady middleton had taken the wise precaution of bringing with her their eldest child, a fine little boy about six years old, by which means there was one subject always to be recurred to by the ladies in case of extremity, for they had to enquire his name and age, admire his beauty, and ask him questions which his mother answered for him, while he hung about her and held down his head, to the great surprise of her ladyship, who wondered at his being so shy before company, as he could make noise enough at home. on every formal visit a child ought to be of the party, by way of provision for discourse. in the present case it took up ten minutes to determine whether the boy were most like his father or mother, and in what particular he resembled either, for of course every body differed, and every body was astonished at the opinion of the others. an opportunity was soon to be given to the dashwoods of debating on the rest of the children, as sir john would not leave the house without securing their promise of dining at the park the next day. chapter 7 barton park was about half a mile from the cottage. the ladies had passed near it in their way along the valley, but it was screened from their view at home by the projection of a hill. the house was large and handsome; and the middletons lived in a style of equal hospitality and elegance. the former was for sir john's gratification, the latter for that of his lady. they were scarcely ever without some friends staying with them in the house, and they kept more company of every kind than any other family in the neighbourhood. it was necessary to the happiness of both; for however dissimilar in temper and outward behaviour, they strongly resembled each other in that total want of talent and taste which confined their employments, unconnected with such as society produced, within a very narrow compass. sir john was a sportsman, lady middleton a mother. he hunted and shot, and she humoured her children; and these were their only resources. lady middleton had the advantage of being able to spoil her children all the year round, while sir john's independent employments were in existence only half the time. continual engagements at home and abroad, however, supplied all the deficiencies of nature and education; supported the good spirits of sir john, and gave exercise to the good breeding of his wife. lady middleton piqued herself upon the elegance of her table, and of all her domestic arrangements; and from this kind of vanity was her greatest enjoyment in any of their parties. but sir john's satisfaction in society was much more real; he delighted in collecting about him more young people than his house would hold, and the noisier they were the better was he pleased. he was a blessing to all the juvenile part of the neighbourhood, for in summer he was for ever forming parties to eat cold ham and chicken out of doors, and in winter his private balls were numerous enough for any young lady who was not suffering under the unsatiable appetite of fifteen. the arrival of a new family in the country was always a matter of joy to him, and in every point of view he was charmed with the inhabitants he had now procured for his cottage at barton. the miss dashwoods were young, pretty, and unaffected. it was enough to secure his good opinion; for to be unaffected was all that a pretty girl could want to make her mind as captivating as her person. the friendliness of his disposition made him happy in accommodating those, whose situation might be considered, in comparison with the past, as unfortunate. in showing kindness to his cousins therefore he had the real satisfaction of a good heart; and in settling a family of females only in his cottage, he had all the satisfaction of a sportsman; for a sportsman, though he esteems only those of his sex who are sportsmen likewise, is not often desirous of encouraging their taste by admitting them to a residence within his own manor. mrs. dashwood and her daughters were met at the door of the house by sir john, who welcomed them to barton park with unaffected sincerity; and as he attended them to the drawing room repeated to the young ladies the concern which the same subject had drawn from him the day before, at being unable to get any smart young men to meet them. they would see, he said, only one gentleman there besides himself; a particular friend who was staying at the park, but who was neither very young nor very gay. he hoped they would all excuse the smallness of the party, and could assure them it should never happen so again. he had been to several families that morning in hopes of procuring some addition to their number, but it was moonlight and every body was full of engagements. luckily lady middleton's mother had arrived at barton within the last hour, and as she was a very cheerful agreeable woman, he hoped the young ladies would not find it so very dull as they might imagine. the young ladies, as well as their mother, were perfectly satisfied with having two entire strangers of the party, and wished for no more. mrs. jennings, lady middleton's mother, was a good-humoured, merry, fat, elderly woman, who talked a great deal, seemed very happy, and rather vulgar. she was full of jokes and laughter, and before dinner was over had said many witty things on the subject of lovers and husbands; hoped they had not left their hearts behind them in sussex, and pretended to see them blush whether they did or not. marianne was vexed at it for her sister's sake, and turned her eyes towards elinor to see how she bore these attacks, with an earnestness which gave elinor far more pain than could arise from such common-place raillery as mrs. jennings's. colonel brandon, the friend of sir john, seemed no more adapted by resemblance of manner to be his friend, than lady middleton was to be his wife, or mrs. jennings to be lady middleton's mother. he was silent and grave. his appearance however was not unpleasing, in spite of his being in the opinion of marianne and margaret an absolute old bachelor, for he was on the wrong side of five and thirty; but though his face was not handsome, his countenance was sensible, and his address was particularly gentlemanlike. there was nothing in any of the party which could recommend them as companions to the dashwoods; but the cold insipidity of lady middleton was so particularly repulsive, that in comparison of it the gravity of colonel brandon, and even the boisterous mirth of sir john and his mother-in-law was interesting. lady middleton seemed to be roused to enjoyment only by the entrance of her four noisy children after dinner, who pulled her about, tore her clothes, and put an end to every kind of discourse except what related to themselves. in the evening, as marianne was discovered to be musical, she was invited to play. the instrument was unlocked, every body prepared to be charmed, and marianne, who sang very well, at their request went through the chief of the songs which lady middleton had brought into the family on her marriage, and which perhaps had lain ever since in the same position on the pianoforte, for her ladyship had celebrated that event by giving up music, although by her mother's account, she had played extremely well, and by her own was very fond of it. marianne's performance was highly applauded. sir john was loud in his admiration at the end of every song, and as loud in his conversation with the others while every song lasted. lady middleton frequently called him to order, wondered how any one's attention could be diverted from music for a moment, and asked marianne to sing a particular song which marianne had just finished. colonel brandon alone, of all the party, heard her without being in raptures. he paid her only the compliment of attention; and she felt a respect for him on the occasion, which the others had reasonably forfeited by their shameless want of taste. his pleasure in music, though it amounted not to that ecstatic delight which alone could sympathize with her own, was estimable when contrasted against the horrible insensibility of the others; and she was reasonable enough to allow that a man of five and thirty might well have outlived all acuteness of feeling and every exquisite power of enjoyment. she was perfectly disposed to make every allowance for the colonel's advanced state of life which humanity required. chapter 8 mrs. jennings was a widow with an ample jointure. she had only two daughters, both of whom she had lived to see respectably married, and she had now therefore nothing to do but to marry all the rest of the world. in the promotion of this object she was zealously active, as far as her ability reached; and missed no opportunity of projecting weddings among all the young people of her acquaintance. she was remarkably quick in the discovery of attachments, and had enjoyed the advantage of raising the blushes and the vanity of many a young lady by insinuations of her power over such a young man; and this kind of discernment enabled her soon after her arrival at barton decisively to pronounce that colonel brandon was very much in love with marianne dashwood. she rather suspected it to be so, on the very first evening of their being together, from his listening so attentively while she sang to them; and when the visit was returned by the middletons' dining at the cottage, the fact was ascertained by his listening to her again. it must be so. she was perfectly convinced of it. it would be an excellent match, for he was rich, and she was handsome. mrs. jennings had been anxious to see colonel brandon well married, ever since her connection with sir john first brought him to her knowledge; and she was always anxious to get a good husband for every pretty girl. the immediate advantage to herself was by no means inconsiderable, for it supplied her with endless jokes against them both. at the park she laughed at the colonel, and in the cottage at marianne. to the former her raillery was probably, as far as it regarded only himself, perfectly indifferent; but to the latter it was at first incomprehensible; and when its object was understood, she hardly knew whether most to laugh at its absurdity, or censure its impertinence, for she considered it as an unfeeling reflection on the colonel's advanced years, and on his forlorn condition as an old bachelor. mrs. dashwood, who could not think a man five years younger than herself, so exceedingly ancient as he appeared to the youthful fancy of her daughter, ventured to clear mrs. jennings from the probability of wishing to throw ridicule on his age. "but at least, mama, you cannot deny the absurdity of the accusation, though you may not think it intentionally ill-natured. colonel brandon is certainly younger than mrs. jennings, but he is old enough to be my father; and if he were ever animated enough to be in love, must have long outlived every sensation of the kind. it is too ridiculous! when is a man to be safe from such wit, if age and infirmity will not protect him?" "infirmity!" said elinor, "do you call colonel brandon infirm? i can easily suppose that his age may appear much greater to you than to my mother; but you can hardly deceive yourself as to his having the use of his limbs!" "did not you hear him complain of the rheumatism? and is not that the commonest infirmity of declining life?" "my dearest child," said her mother, laughing, "at this rate you must be in continual terror of my decay; and it must seem to you a miracle that my life has been extended to the advanced age of forty." "mama, you are not doing me justice. i know very well that colonel brandon is not old enough to make his friends yet apprehensive of losing him in the course of nature. he may live twenty years longer. but thirty-five has nothing to do with matrimony." "perhaps," said elinor, "thirty-five and seventeen had better not have any thing to do with matrimony together. but if there should by any chance happen to be a woman who is single at seven and twenty, i should not think colonel brandon's being thirty-five any objection to his marrying her." "a woman of seven and twenty," said marianne, after pausing a moment, "can never hope to feel or inspire affection again, and if her home be uncomfortable, or her fortune small, i can suppose that she might bring herself to submit to the offices of a nurse, for the sake of the provision and security of a wife. in his marrying such a woman therefore there would be nothing unsuitable. it would be a compact of convenience, and the world would be satisfied. in my eyes it would be no marriage at all, but that would be nothing. to me it would seem only a commercial exchange, in which each wished to be benefited at the expense of the other." "it would be impossible, i know," replied elinor, "to convince you that a woman of seven and twenty could feel for a man of thirty-five anything near enough to love, to make him a desirable companion to her. but i must object to your dooming colonel brandon and his wife to the constant confinement of a sick chamber, merely because he chanced to complain yesterday (a very cold damp day) of a slight rheumatic feel in one of his shoulders." "but he talked of flannel waistcoats," said marianne; "and with me a flannel waistcoat is invariably connected with aches, cramps, rheumatisms, and every species of ailment that can afflict the old and the feeble." "had he been only in a violent fever, you would not have despised him half so much. confess, marianne, is not there something interesting to you in the flushed cheek, hollow eye, and quick pulse of a fever?" soon after this, upon elinor's leaving the room, "mama," said marianne, "i have an alarm on the subject of illness which i cannot conceal from you. i am sure edward ferrars is not well. we have now been here almost a fortnight, and yet he does not come. nothing but real indisposition could occasion this extraordinary delay. what else can detain him at norland?" "had you any idea of his coming so soon?" said mrs. dashwood. "i had none. on the contrary, if i have felt any anxiety at all on the subject, it has been in recollecting that he sometimes showed a want of pleasure and readiness in accepting my invitation, when i talked of his coming to barton. does elinor expect him already?" "i have never mentioned it to her, but of course she must." "i rather think you are mistaken, for when i was talking to her yesterday of getting a new grate for the spare bedchamber, she observed that there was no immediate hurry for it, as it was not likely that the room would be wanted for some time." "how strange this is! what can be the meaning of it! but the whole of their behaviour to each other has been unaccountable! how cold, how composed were their last adieus! how languid their conversation the last evening of their being together! in edward's farewell there was no distinction between elinor and me: it was the good wishes of an affectionate brother to both. twice did i leave them purposely together in the course of the last morning, and each time did he most unaccountably follow me out of the room. and elinor, in quitting norland and edward, cried not as i did. even now her self-command is invariable. when is she dejected or melancholy? when does she try to avoid society, or appear restless and dissatisfied in it?" chapter 9 the dashwoods were now settled at barton with tolerable comfort to themselves. the house and the garden, with all the objects surrounding them, were now become familiar, and the ordinary pursuits which had given to norland half its charms were engaged in again with far greater enjoyment than norland had been able to afford, since the loss of their father. sir john middleton, who called on them every day for the first fortnight, and who was not in the habit of seeing much occupation at home, could not conceal his amazement on finding them always employed. their visitors, except those from barton park, were not many; for, in spite of sir john's urgent entreaties that they would mix more in the neighbourhood, and repeated assurances of his carriage being always at their service, the independence of mrs. dashwood's spirit overcame the wish of society for her children; and she was resolute in declining to visit any family beyond the distance of a walk. there were but few who could be so classed; and it was not all of them that were attainable. about a mile and a half from the cottage, along the narrow winding valley of allenham, which issued from that of barton, as formerly described, the girls had, in one of their earliest walks, discovered an ancient respectable looking mansion which, by reminding them a little of norland, interested their imagination and made them wish to be better acquainted with it. but they learnt, on enquiry, that its possessor, an elderly lady of very good character, was unfortunately too infirm to mix with the world, and never stirred from home. the whole country about them abounded in beautiful walks. the high downs which invited them from almost every window of the cottage to seek the exquisite enjoyment of air on their summits, were a happy alternative when the dirt of the valleys beneath shut up their superior beauties; and towards one of these hills did marianne and margaret one memorable morning direct their steps, attracted by the partial sunshine of a showery sky, and unable longer to bear the confinement which the settled rain of the two preceding days had occasioned. the weather was not tempting enough to draw the two others from their pencil and their book, in spite of marianne's declaration that the day would be lastingly fair, and that every threatening cloud would be drawn off from their hills; and the two girls set off together. they gaily ascended the downs, rejoicing in their own penetration at every glimpse of blue sky; and when they caught in their faces the animating gales of a high south-westerly wind, they pitied the fears which had prevented their mother and elinor from sharing such delightful sensations. "is there a felicity in the world," said marianne, "superior to this?--margaret, we will walk here at least two hours." margaret agreed, and they pursued their way against the wind, resisting it with laughing delight for about twenty minutes longer, when suddenly the clouds united over their heads, and a driving rain set full in their face.-chagrined and surprised, they were obliged, though unwillingly, to turn back, for no shelter was nearer than their own house. one consolation however remained for them, to which the exigence of the moment gave more than usual propriety; it was that of running with all possible speed down the steep side of the hill which led immediately to their garden gate. they set off. marianne had at first the advantage, but a false step brought her suddenly to the ground; and margaret, unable to stop herself to assist her, was involuntarily hurried along, and reached the bottom in safety. a gentleman carrying a gun, with two pointers playing round him, was passing up the hill and within a few yards of marianne, when her accident happened. he put down his gun and ran to her assistance. she had raised herself from the ground, but her foot had been twisted in her fall, and she was scarcely able to stand. the gentleman offered his services; and perceiving that her modesty declined what her situation rendered necessary, took her up in his arms without farther delay, and carried her down the hill. then passing through the garden, the gate of which had been left open by margaret, he bore her directly into the house, whither margaret was just arrived, and quitted not his hold till he had seated her in a chair in the parlour. elinor and her mother rose up in amazement at their entrance, and while the eyes of both were fixed on him with an evident wonder and a secret admiration which equally sprung from his appearance, he apologized for his intrusion by relating its cause, in a manner so frank and so graceful that his person, which was uncommonly handsome, received additional charms from his voice and expression. had he been even old, ugly, and vulgar, the gratitude and kindness of mrs. dashwood would have been secured by any act of attention to her child; but the influence of youth, beauty, and elegance, gave an interest to the action which came home to her feelings. she thanked him again and again; and, with a sweetness of address which always attended her, invited him to be seated. but this he declined, as he was dirty and wet. mrs. dashwood then begged to know to whom she was obliged. his name, he replied, was willoughby, and his present home was at allenham, from whence he hoped she would allow him the honour of calling tomorrow to enquire after miss dashwood. the honour was readily granted, and he then departed, to make himself still more interesting, in the midst of a heavy rain. his manly beauty and more than common gracefulness were instantly the theme of general admiration, and the laugh which his gallantry raised against marianne received particular spirit from his exterior attractions.-marianne herself had seen less of his mama the rest, for the confusion which crimsoned over her face, on his lifting her up, had robbed her of the power of regarding him after their entering the house. but she had seen enough of him to join in all the admiration of the others, and with an energy which always adorned her praise. his person and air were equal to what her fancy had ever drawn for the hero of a favourite story; and in his carrying her into the house with so little previous formality, there was a rapidity of thought which particularly recommended the action to her. every circumstance belonging to him was interesting. his name was good, his residence was in their favourite village, and she soon found out that of all manly dresses a shooting-jacket was the most becoming. her imagination was busy, her reflections were pleasant, and the pain of a sprained ankle was disregarded. sir john called on them as soon as the next interval of fair weather that morning allowed him to get out of doors; and marianne's accident being related to him, he was eagerly asked whether he knew any gentleman of the name of willoughby at allenham. "willoughby!" cried sir john; "what, is he in the country? that is good news however; i will ride over tomorrow, and ask him to dinner on thursday." "you know him then," said mrs. dashwood. "know him! to be sure i do. why, he is down here every year." "and what sort of a young man is he?" "as good a kind of fellow as ever lived, i assure you. a very decent shot, and there is not a bolder rider in england." "and is that all you can say for him?" cried marianne, indignantly. "but what are his manners on more intimate acquaintance? what his pursuits, his talents, and genius?" sir john was rather puzzled. "upon my soul," said he, "i do not know much about him as to all that. but he is a pleasant, good humoured fellow, and has got the nicest little black bitch of a pointer i ever saw. was she out with him today?" but marianne could no more satisfy him as to the colour of mr. willoughby's pointer, than he could describe to her the shades of his mind. "but who is he?" said elinor. "where does he come from? has he a house at allenham?" on this point sir john could give more certain intelligence; and he told them that mr. willoughby had no property of his own in the country; that he resided there only while he was visiting the old lady at allenham court, to whom he was related, and whose possessions he was to inherit; adding, "yes, yes, he is very well worth catching i can tell you, miss dashwood; he has a pretty little estate of his own in somersetshire besides; and if i were you, i would not give him up to my younger sister, in spite of all this tumbling down hills. miss marianne must not expect to have all the men to herself. brandon will be jealous, if she does not take care." "i do not believe," said mrs. dashwood, with a good humoured smile, "that mr. willoughby will be incommoded by the attempts of either of my daughters towards what you call catching him. it is not an employment to which they have been brought up. men are very safe with us, let them be ever so rich. i am glad to find, however, from what you say, that he is a respectable young man, and one whose acquaintance will not be ineligible." "he is as good a sort of fellow, i believe, as ever lived," repeated sir john. "i remember last christmas at a little hop at the park, he danced from eight o'clock till four, without once sitting down." "did he indeed?" cried marianne with sparkling eyes, "and with elegance, with spirit?" "yes; and he was up again at eight to ride to covert." "that is what i like; that is what a young man ought to be. whatever be his pursuits, his eagerness in them should know no moderation, and leave him no sense of fatigue." "aye, aye, i see how it will be," said sir john, "i see how it will be. you will be setting your cap at him now, and never think of poor brandon." "that is an expression, sir john," said marianne, warmly, "which i particularly dislike. i abhor every common-place phrase by which wit is intended; and 'setting one's cap at a man,' or 'making a conquest,' are the most odious of all. their tendency is gross and illiberal; and if their construction could ever be deemed clever, time has long ago destroyed all its ingenuity." sir john did not much understand this reproof; but he laughed as heartily as if he did, and then replied, "ay, you will make conquests enough, i dare say, one way or other. poor brandon! he is quite smitten already, and he is very well worth setting your cap at, i can tell you, in spite of all this tumbling about and spraining of ankles." chapter 10 marianne's preserver, as margaret, with more elegance than precision, styled willoughby, called at the cottage early the next morning to make his personal enquiries. he was received by mrs. dashwood with more than politeness; with a kindness which sir john's account of him and her own gratitude prompted; and every thing that passed during the visit tended to assure him of the sense, elegance, mutual affection, and domestic comfort of the family to whom accident had now introduced him. of their personal charms he had not required a second interview to be convinced. miss dashwood had a delicate complexion, regular features, and a remarkably pretty figure. marianne was still handsomer. her form, though not so correct as her sister's, in having the advantage of height, was more striking; and her face was so lovely, that when in the common cant of praise, she was called a beautiful girl, truth was less violently outraged than usually happens. her skin was very brown, but, from its transparency, her complexion was uncommonly brilliant; her features were all good; her smile was sweet and attractive; and in her eyes, which were very dark, there was a life, a spirit, an eagerness, which could hardily be seen without delight. from willoughby their expression was at first held back, by the embarrassment which the remembrance of his assistance created. but when this passed away, when her spirits became collected, when she saw that to the perfect good-breeding of the gentleman, he united frankness and vivacity, and above all, when she heard him declare, that of music and dancing he was passionately fond, she gave him such a look of approbation as secured the largest share of his discourse to herself for the rest of his stay. it was only necessary to mention any favourite amusement to engage her to talk. she could not be silent when such points were introduced, and she had neither shyness nor reserve in their discussion. they speedily discovered that their enjoyment of dancing and music was mutual, and that it arose from a general conformity of judgment in all that related to either. encouraged by this to a further examination of his opinions, she proceeded to question him on the subject of books; her favourite authors were brought forward and dwelt upon with so rapturous a delight, that any young man of five and twenty must have been insensible indeed, not to become an immediate convert to the excellence of such works, however disregarded before. their taste was strikingly alike. the same books, the same passages were idolized by each--or if any difference appeared, any objection arose, it lasted no longer than till the force of her arguments and the brightness of her eyes could be displayed. he acquiesced in all her decisions, caught all her enthusiasm; and long before his visit concluded, they conversed with the familiarity of a long-established acquaintance. "well, marianne," said elinor, as soon as he had left them, "for one morning i think you have done pretty well. you have already ascertained mr. willoughby's opinion in almost every matter of importance. you know what he thinks of cowper and scott; you are certain of his estimating their beauties as he ought, and you have received every assurance of his admiring pope no more than is proper. but how is your acquaintance to be long supported, under such extraordinary despatch of every subject for discourse? you will soon have exhausted each favourite topic. another meeting will suffice to explain his sentiments on picturesque beauty, and second marriages, and then you can have nothing farther to ask."-"elinor," cried marianne, "is this fair? is this just? are my ideas so scanty? but i see what you mean. i have been too much at my ease, too happy, too frank. i have erred against every common-place notion of decorum; i have been open and sincere where i ought to have been reserved, spiritless, dull, and deceitful--had i talked only of the weather and the roads, and had i spoken only once in ten minutes, this reproach would have been spared." "my love," said her mother, "you must not be offended with elinor--she was only in jest. i should scold her myself, if she were capable of wishing to check the delight of your conversation with our new friend."-marianne was softened in a moment. willoughby, on his side, gave every proof of his pleasure in their acquaintance, which an evident wish of improving it could offer. he came to them every day. to enquire after marianne was at first his excuse; but the encouragement of his reception, to which every day gave greater kindness, made such an excuse unnecessary before it had ceased to be possible, by marianne's perfect recovery. she was confined for some days to the house; but never had any confinement been less irksome. willoughby was a young man of good abilities, quick imagination, lively spirits, and open, affectionate manners. he was exactly formed to engage marianne's heart, for with all this, he joined not only a captivating person, but a natural ardour of mind which was now roused and increased by the example of her own, and which recommended him to her affection beyond every thing else. his society became gradually her most exquisite enjoyment. they read, they talked, they sang together; his musical talents were considerable; and he read with all the sensibility and spirit which edward had unfortunately wanted. in mrs. dashwood's estimation he was as faultless as in marianne's; and elinor saw nothing to censure in him but a propensity, in which he strongly resembled and peculiarly delighted her sister, of saying too much what he thought on every occasion, without attention to persons or circumstances. in hastily forming and giving his opinion of other people, in sacrificing general politeness to the enjoyment of undivided attention where his heart was engaged, and in slighting too easily the forms of worldly propriety, he displayed a want of caution which elinor could not approve, in spite of all that he and marianne could say in its support. marianne began now to perceive that the desperation which had seized her at sixteen and a half, of ever seeing a man who could satisfy her ideas of perfection, had been rash and unjustifiable. willoughby was all that her fancy had delineated in that unhappy hour and in every brighter period, as capable of attaching her; and his behaviour declared his wishes to be in that respect as earnest, as his abilities were strong. her mother too, in whose mind not one speculative thought of their marriage had been raised, by his prospect of riches, was led before the end of a week to hope and expect it; and secretly to congratulate herself on having gained two such sons-in-law as edward and willoughby. colonel brandon's partiality for marianne, which had so early been discovered by his friends, now first became perceptible to elinor, when it ceased to be noticed by them. their attention and wit were drawn off to his more fortunate rival; and the raillery which the other had incurred before any partiality arose, was removed when his feelings began really to call for the ridicule so justly annexed to sensibility. elinor was obliged, though unwillingly, to believe that the sentiments which mrs. jennings had assigned him for her own satisfaction, were now actually excited by her sister; and that however a general resemblance of disposition between the parties might forward the affection of mr. willoughby, an equally striking opposition of character was no hindrance to the regard of colonel brandon. she saw it with concern; for what could a silent man of five and thirty hope, when opposed to a very lively one of five and twenty? and as she could not even wish him successful, she heartily wished him indifferent. she liked him--in spite of his gravity and reserve, she beheld in him an object of interest. his manners, though serious, were mild; and his reserve appeared rather the result of some oppression of spirits than of any natural gloominess of temper. sir john had dropped hints of past injuries and disappointments, which justified her belief of his being an unfortunate man, and she regarded him with respect and compassion. perhaps she pitied and esteemed him the more because he was slighted by willoughby and marianne, who, prejudiced against him for being neither lively nor young, seemed resolved to undervalue his merits. "brandon is just the kind of man," said willoughby one day, when they were talking of him together, "whom every body speaks well of, and nobody cares about; whom all are delighted to see, and nobody remembers to talk to." "that is exactly what i think of him," cried marianne. "do not boast of it, however," said elinor, "for it is injustice in both of you. he is highly esteemed by all the family at the park, and i never see him myself without taking pains to converse with him." "that he is patronised by you," replied willoughby, "is certainly in his favour; but as for the esteem of the others, it is a reproach in itself. who would submit to the indignity of being approved by such a woman as lady middleton and mrs. jennings, that could command the indifference of any body else?" "but perhaps the abuse of such people as yourself and marianne will make amends for the regard of lady middleton and her mother. if their praise is censure, your censure may be praise, for they are not more undiscerning, than you are prejudiced and unjust." "in defence of your protege you can even be saucy." "my protege, as you call him, is a sensible man; and sense will always have attractions for me. yes, marianne, even in a man between thirty and forty. he has seen a great deal of the world; has been abroad, has read, and has a thinking mind. i have found him capable of giving me much information on various subjects; and he has always answered my inquiries with readiness of good-breeding and good nature." "that is to say," cried marianne contemptuously, "he has told you, that in the east indies the climate is hot, and the mosquitoes are troublesome." "he would have told me so, i doubt not, had i made any such inquiries, but they happened to be points on which i had been previously informed." "perhaps," said willoughby, "his observations may have extended to the existence of nabobs, gold mohrs, and palanquins." "i may venture to say that his observations have stretched much further than your candour. but why should you dislike him?" "i do not dislike him. i consider him, on the contrary, as a very respectable man, who has every body's good word, and nobody's notice; who, has more money than he can spend, more time than he knows how to employ, and two new coats every year." "add to which," cried marianne, "that he has neither genius, taste, nor spirit. that his understanding has no brilliancy, his feelings no ardour, and his voice no expression." "you decide on his imperfections so much in the mass," replied elinor, "and so much on the strength of your own imagination, that the commendation i am able to give of him is comparatively cold and insipid. i can only pronounce him to be a sensible man, well-bred, well-informed, of gentle address, and, i believe, possessing an amiable heart." "miss dashwood," cried willoughby, "you are now using me unkindly. you are endeavouring to disarm me by reason, and to convince me against my will. but it will not do. you shall find me as stubborn as you can be artful. i have three unanswerable reasons for disliking colonel brandon; he threatened me with rain when i wanted it to be fine; he has found fault with the hanging of my curricle, and i cannot persuade him to buy my brown mare. if it will be any satisfaction to you, however, to be told, that i believe his character to be in other respects irreproachable, i am ready to confess it. and in return for an acknowledgment, which must give me some pain, you cannot deny me the privilege of disliking him as much as ever." chapter 11 little had mrs. dashwood or her daughters imagined when they first came into devonshire, that so many engagements would arise to occupy their time as shortly presented themselves, or that they should have such frequent invitations and such constant visitors as to leave them little leisure for serious employment. yet such was the case. when marianne was recovered, the schemes of amusement at home and abroad, which sir john had been previously forming, were put into execution. the private balls at the park then began; and parties on the water were made and accomplished as often as a showery october would allow. in every meeting of the kind willoughby was included; and the ease and familiarity which naturally attended these parties were exactly calculated to give increasing intimacy to his acquaintance with the dashwoods, to afford him opportunity of witnessing the excellencies of marianne, of marking his animated admiration of her, and of receiving, in her behaviour to himself, the most pointed assurance of her affection. elinor could not be surprised at their attachment. she only wished that it were less openly shewn; and once or twice did venture to suggest the propriety of some self-command to marianne. but marianne abhorred all concealment where no real disgrace could attend unreserve; and to aim at the restraint of sentiments which were not in themselves illaudable, appeared to her not merely an unnecessary effort, but a disgraceful subjection of reason to common-place and mistaken notions. willoughby thought the same; and their behaviour at all times, was an illustration of their opinions. when he was present she had no eyes for any one else. every thing he did, was right. every thing he said, was clever. if their evenings at the park were concluded with cards, he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. if dancing formed the amusement of the night, they were partners for half the time; and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances, were careful to stand together and scarcely spoke a word to any body else. such conduct made them of course most exceedingly laughed at; but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them. mrs. dashwood entered into all their feelings with a warmth which left her no inclination for checking this excessive display of them. to her it was but the natural consequence of a strong affection in a young and ardent mind. this was the season of happiness to marianne. her heart was devoted to willoughby, and the fond attachment to norland, which she brought with her from sussex, was more likely to be softened than she had thought it possible before, by the charms which his society bestowed on her present home. elinor's happiness was not so great. her heart was not so much at ease, nor her satisfaction in their amusements so pure. they afforded her no companion that could make amends for what she had left behind, nor that could teach her to think of norland with less regret than ever. neither lady middleton nor mrs. jennings could supply to her the conversation she missed; although the latter was an everlasting talker, and from the first had regarded her with a kindness which ensured her a large share of her discourse. she had already repeated her own history to elinor three or four times; and had elinor's memory been equal to her means of improvement, she might have known very early in their acquaintance all the particulars of mr. jennings's last illness, and what he said to his wife a few minutes before he died. lady middleton was more agreeable than her mother only in being more silent. elinor needed little observation to perceive that her reserve was a mere calmness of manner with which sense had nothing to do. towards her husband and mother she was the same as to them; and intimacy was therefore neither to be looked for nor desired. she had nothing to say one day that she had not said the day before. her insipidity was invariable, for even her spirits were always the same; and though she did not oppose the parties arranged by her husband, provided every thing were conducted in style and her two eldest children attended her, she never appeared to receive more enjoyment from them than she might have experienced in sitting at home;--and so little did her presence add to the pleasure of the others, by any share in their conversation, that they were sometimes only reminded of her being amongst them by her solicitude about her troublesome boys. in colonel brandon alone, of all her new acquaintance, did elinor find a person who could in any degree claim the respect of abilities, excite the interest of friendship, or give pleasure as a companion. willoughby was out of the question. her admiration and regard, even her sisterly regard, was all his own; but he was a lover; his attentions were wholly marianne's, and a far less agreeable man might have been more generally pleasing. colonel brandon, unfortunately for himself, had no such encouragement to think only of marianne, and in conversing with elinor he found the greatest consolation for the indifference of her sister. elinor's compassion for him increased, as she had reason to suspect that the misery of disappointed love had already been known to him. this suspicion was given by some words which accidentally dropped from him one evening at the park, when they were sitting down together by mutual consent, while the others were dancing. his eyes were fixed on marianne, and, after a silence of some minutes, he said, with a faint smile, "your sister, i understand, does not approve of second attachments." "no," replied elinor, "her opinions are all romantic." "or rather, as i believe, she considers them impossible to exist." "i believe she does. but how she contrives it without reflecting on the character of her own father, who had himself two wives, i know not. a few years however will settle her opinions on the reasonable basis of common sense and observation; and then they may be more easy to define and to justify than they now are, by any body but herself." "this will probably be the case," he replied; "and yet there is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions." "i cannot agree with you there," said elinor. "there are inconveniences attending such feelings as marianne's, which all the charms of enthusiasm and ignorance of the world cannot atone for. her systems have all the unfortunate tendency of setting propriety at nought; and a better acquaintance with the world is what i look forward to as her greatest possible advantage." after a short pause he resumed the conversation by saying,-"does your sister make no distinction in her objections against a second attachment? or is it equally criminal in every body? are those who have been disappointed in their first choice, whether from the inconstancy of its object, or the perverseness of circumstances, to be equally indifferent during the rest of their lives?" "upon my word, i am not acquainted with the minutiae of her principles. i only know that i never yet heard her admit any instance of a second attachment's being pardonable." "this," said he, "cannot hold; but a change, a total change of sentiments--no, no, do not desire it; for when the romantic refinements of a young mind are obliged to give way, how frequently are they succeeded by such opinions as are but too common, and too dangerous! i speak from experience. i once knew a lady who in temper and mind greatly resembled your sister, who thought and judged like her, but who from an inforced change--from a series of unfortunate circumstances"-here he stopt suddenly; appeared to think that he had said too much, and by his countenance gave rise to conjectures, which might not otherwise have entered elinor's head. the lady would probably have passed without suspicion, had he not convinced miss dashwood that what concerned her ought not to escape his lips. as it was, it required but a slight effort of fancy to connect his emotion with the tender recollection of past regard. elinor attempted no more. but marianne, in her place, would not have done so little. the whole story would have been speedily formed under her active imagination; and every thing established in the most melancholy order of disastrous love. chapter 12 as elinor and marianne were walking together the next morning the latter communicated a piece of news to her sister, which in spite of all that she knew before of marianne's imprudence and want of thought, surprised her by its extravagant testimony of both. marianne told her, with the greatest delight, that willoughby had given her a horse, one that he had bred himself on his estate in somersetshire, and which was exactly calculated to carry a woman. without considering that it was not in her mother's plan to keep any horse, that if she were to alter her resolution in favour of this gift, she must buy another for the servant, and keep a servant to ride it, and after all, build a stable to receive them, she had accepted the present without hesitation, and told her sister of it in raptures. "he intends to send his groom into somersetshire immediately for it," she added, "and when it arrives we will ride every day. you shall share its use with me. imagine to yourself, my dear elinor, the delight of a gallop on some of these downs." most unwilling was she to awaken from such a dream of felicity to comprehend all the unhappy truths which attended the affair; and for some time she refused to submit to them. as to an additional servant, the expense would be a trifle; mama she was sure would never object to it; and any horse would do for him; he might always get one at the park; as to a stable, the merest shed would be sufficient. elinor then ventured to doubt the propriety of her receiving such a present from a man so little, or at least so lately known to her. this was too much. "you are mistaken, elinor," said she warmly, "in supposing i know very little of willoughby. i have not known him long indeed, but i am much better acquainted with him, than i am with any other creature in the world, except yourself and mama. it is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;--it is disposition alone. seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others. i should hold myself guilty of greater impropriety in accepting a horse from my brother, than from willoughby. of john i know very little, though we have lived together for years; but of willoughby my judgment has long been formed." elinor thought it wisest to touch that point no more. she knew her sister's temper. opposition on so tender a subject would only attach her the more to her own opinion. but by an appeal to her affection for her mother, by representing the inconveniences which that indulgent mother must draw on herself, if (as would probably be the case) she consented to this increase of establishment, marianne was shortly subdued; and she promised not to tempt her mother to such imprudent kindness by mentioning the offer, and to tell willoughby when she saw him next, that it must be declined. she was faithful to her word; and when willoughby called at the cottage, the same day, elinor heard her express her disappointment to him in a low voice, on being obliged to forego the acceptance of his present. the reasons for this alteration were at the same time related, and they were such as to make further entreaty on his side impossible. his concern however was very apparent; and after expressing it with earnestness, he added, in the same low voice,--"but, marianne, the horse is still yours, though you cannot use it now. i shall keep it only till you can claim it. when you leave barton to form your own establishment in a more lasting home, queen mab shall receive you." this was all overheard by miss dashwood; and in the whole of the sentence, in his manner of pronouncing it, and in his addressing her sister by her christian name alone, she instantly saw an intimacy so decided, a meaning so direct, as marked a perfect agreement between them. from that moment she doubted not of their being engaged to each other; and the belief of it created no other surprise than that she, or any of their friends, should be left by tempers so frank, to discover it by accident. margaret related something to her the next day, which placed this matter in a still clearer light. willoughby had spent the preceding evening with them, and margaret, by being left some time in the parlour with only him and marianne, had had opportunity for observations, which, with a most important face, she communicated to her eldest sister, when they were next by themselves. "oh, elinor!" she cried, "i have such a secret to tell you about marianne. i am sure she will be married to mr. willoughby very soon." "you have said so," replied elinor, "almost every day since they first met on high-church down; and they had not known each other a week, i believe, before you were certain that marianne wore his picture round her neck; but it turned out to be only the miniature of our great uncle." "but indeed this is quite another thing. i am sure they will be married very soon, for he has got a lock of her hair." "take care, margaret. it may be only the hair of some great uncle of his." "but, indeed, elinor, it is marianne's. i am almost sure it is, for i saw him cut it off. last night after tea, when you and mama went out of the room, they were whispering and talking together as fast as could be, and he seemed to be begging something of her, and presently he took up her scissors and cut off a long lock of her hair, for it was all tumbled down her back; and he kissed it, and folded it up in a piece of white paper; and put it into his pocket-book." for such particulars, stated on such authority, elinor could not withhold her credit; nor was she disposed to it, for the circumstance was in perfect unison with what she had heard and seen herself. margaret's sagacity was not always displayed in a way so satisfactory to her sister. when mrs. jennings attacked her one evening at the park, to give the name of the young man who was elinor's particular favourite, which had been long a matter of great curiosity to her, margaret answered by looking at her sister, and saying, "i must not tell, may i, elinor?" this of course made every body laugh; and elinor tried to laugh too. but the effort was painful. she was convinced that margaret had fixed on a person whose name she could not bear with composure to become a standing joke with mrs. jennings. marianne felt for her most sincerely; but she did more harm than good to the cause, by turning very red and saying in an angry manner to margaret, "remember that whatever your conjectures may be, you have no right to repeat them." "i never had any conjectures about it," replied margaret; "it was you who told me of it yourself." this increased the mirth of the company, and margaret was eagerly pressed to say something more. "oh! pray, miss margaret, let us know all about it," said mrs. jennings. "what is the gentleman's name?" "i must not tell, ma'am. but i know very well what it is; and i know where he is too." "yes, yes, we can guess where he is; at his own house at norland to be sure. he is the curate of the parish i dare say." "no, that he is not. he is of no profession at all." "margaret," said marianne with great warmth, "you know that all this is an invention of your own, and that there is no such person in existence." "well, then, he is lately dead, marianne, for i am sure there was such a man once, and his name begins with an f." most grateful did elinor feel to lady middleton for observing, at this moment, "that it rained very hard," though she believed the interruption to proceed less from any attention to her, than from her ladyship's great dislike of all such inelegant subjects of raillery as delighted her husband and mother. the idea however started by her, was immediately pursued by colonel brandon, who was on every occasion mindful of the feelings of others; and much was said on the subject of rain by both of them. willoughby opened the piano-forte, and asked marianne to sit down to it; and thus amidst the various endeavours of different people to quit the topic, it fell to the ground. but not so easily did elinor recover from the alarm into which it had thrown her. a party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from barton, belonging to a brother-in-law of colonel brandon, without whose interest it could not be seen, as the proprietor, who was then abroad, had left strict orders on that head. the grounds were declared to be highly beautiful, and sir john, who was particularly warm in their praise, might be allowed to be a tolerable judge, for he had formed parties to visit them, at least, twice every summer for the last ten years. they contained a noble piece of water; a sail on which was to a form a great part of the morning's amusement; cold provisions were to be taken, open carriages only to be employed, and every thing conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure. to some few of the company it appeared rather a bold undertaking, considering the time of year, and that it had rained every day for the last fortnight;--and mrs. dashwood, who had already a cold, was persuaded by elinor to stay at home. chapter 13 their intended excursion to whitwell turned out very different from what elinor had expected. she was prepared to be wet through, fatigued, and frightened; but the event was still more unfortunate, for they did not go at all. by ten o'clock the whole party was assembled at the park, where they were to breakfast. the morning was rather favourable, though it had rained all night, as the clouds were then dispersing across the sky, and the sun frequently appeared. they were all in high spirits and good humour, eager to be happy, and determined to submit to the greatest inconveniences and hardships rather than be otherwise. while they were at breakfast the letters were brought in. among the rest there was one for colonel brandon;--he took it, looked at the direction, changed colour, and immediately left the room. "what is the matter with brandon?" said sir john. nobody could tell. "i hope he has had no bad news," said lady middleton. "it must be something extraordinary that could make colonel brandon leave my breakfast table so suddenly." in about five minutes he returned. "no bad news, colonel, i hope;" said mrs. jennings, as soon as he entered the room. "none at all, ma'am, i thank you." "was it from avignon? i hope it is not to say that your sister is worse." "no, ma'am. it came from town, and is merely a letter of business." "but how came the hand to discompose you so much, if it was only a letter of business? come, come, this won't do, colonel; so let us hear the truth of it." "my dear madam," said lady middleton, "recollect what you are saying." "perhaps it is to tell you that your cousin fanny is married?" said mrs. jennings, without attending to her daughter's reproof. "no, indeed, it is not." "well, then, i know who it is from, colonel. and i hope she is well." "whom do you mean, ma'am?" said he, colouring a little. "oh! you know who i mean." "i am particularly sorry, ma'am," said he, addressing lady middleton, "that i should receive this letter today, for it is on business which requires my immediate attendance in town." "in town!" cried mrs. jennings. "what can you have to do in town at this time of year?" "my own loss is great," he continued, "in being obliged to leave so agreeable a party; but i am the more concerned, as i fear my presence is necessary to gain your admittance at whitwell." what a blow upon them all was this! "but if you write a note to the housekeeper, mr. brandon," said marianne, eagerly, "will it not be sufficient?" he shook his head. "we must go," said sir john.--"it shall not be put off when we are so near it. you cannot go to town till tomorrow, brandon, that is all." "i wish it could be so easily settled. but it is not in my power to delay my journey for one day!" "if you would but let us know what your business is," said mrs. jennings, "we might see whether it could be put off or not." "you would not be six hours later," said willoughby, "if you were to defer your journey till our return." "i cannot afford to lose one hour."-elinor then heard willoughby say, in a low voice to marianne, "there are some people who cannot bear a party of pleasure. brandon is one of them. he was afraid of catching cold i dare say, and invented this trick for getting out of it. i would lay fifty guineas the letter was of his own writing." "i have no doubt of it," replied marianne. "there is no persuading you to change your mind, brandon, i know of old," said sir john, "when once you are determined on anything. but, however, i hope you will think better of it. consider, here are the two miss careys come over from newton, the three miss dashwoods walked up from the cottage, and mr. willoughby got up two hours before his usual time, on purpose to go to whitwell." colonel brandon again repeated his sorrow at being the cause of disappointing the party; but at the same time declared it to be unavoidable. "well, then, when will you come back again?" "i hope we shall see you at barton," added her ladyship, "as soon as you can conveniently leave town; and we must put off the party to whitwell till you return." "you are very obliging. but it is so uncertain, when i may have it in my power to return, that i dare not engage for it at all." "oh! he must and shall come back," cried sir john. "if he is not here by the end of the week, i shall go after him." "ay, so do, sir john," cried mrs. jennings, "and then perhaps you may find out what his business is." "i do not want to pry into other men's concerns. i suppose it is something he is ashamed of." colonel brandon's horses were announced. "you do not go to town on horseback, do you?" added sir john. "no. only to honiton. i shall then go post." "well, as you are resolved to go, i wish you a good journey. but you had better change your mind." "i assure you it is not in my power." he then took leave of the whole party. "is there no chance of my seeing you and your sisters in town this winter, miss dashwood?" "i am afraid, none at all." "then i must bid you farewell for a longer time than i should wish to do." to marianne, he merely bowed and said nothing. "come colonel," said mrs. jennings, "before you go, do let us know what you are going about." he wished her a good morning, and, attended by sir john, left the room. the complaints and lamentations which politeness had hitherto restrained, now burst forth universally; and they all agreed again and again how provoking it was to be so disappointed. "i can guess what his business is, however," said mrs. jennings exultingly. "can you, ma'am?" said almost every body. "yes; it is about miss williams, i am sure." "and who is miss williams?" asked marianne. "what! do not you know who miss williams is? i am sure you must have heard of her before. she is a relation of the colonel's, my dear; a very near relation. we will not say how near, for fear of shocking the young ladies." then, lowering her voice a little, she said to elinor, "she is his natural daughter." "indeed!" "oh, yes; and as like him as she can stare. i dare say the colonel will leave her all his fortune." when sir john returned, he joined most heartily in the general regret on so unfortunate an event; concluding however by observing, that as they were all got together, they must do something by way of being happy; and after some consultation it was agreed, that although happiness could only be enjoyed at whitwell, they might procure a tolerable composure of mind by driving about the country. the carriages were then ordered; willoughby's was first, and marianne never looked happier than when she got into it. he drove through the park very fast, and they were soon out of sight; and nothing more of them was seen till their return, which did not happen till after the return of all the rest. they both seemed delighted with their drive; but said only in general terms that they had kept in the lanes, while the others went on the downs. it was settled that there should be a dance in the evening, and that every body should be extremely merry all day long. some more of the careys came to dinner, and they had the pleasure of sitting down nearly twenty to table, which sir john observed with great contentment. willoughby took his usual place between the two elder miss dashwoods. mrs. jennings sat on elinor's right hand; and they had not been long seated, before she leant behind her and willoughby, and said to marianne, loud enough for them both to hear, "i have found you out in spite of all your tricks. i know where you spent the morning." marianne coloured, and replied very hastily, "where, pray?"-"did not you know," said willoughby, "that we had been out in my curricle?" "yes, yes, mr. impudence, i know that very well, and i was determined to find out where you had been to.-i hope you like your house, miss marianne. it is a very large one, i know; and when i come to see you, i hope you will have new-furnished it, for it wanted it very much when i was there six years ago." marianne turned away in great confusion. mrs. jennings laughed heartily; and elinor found that in her resolution to know where they had been, she had actually made her own woman enquire of mr. willoughby's groom; and that she had by that method been informed that they had gone to allenham, and spent a considerable time there in walking about the garden and going all over the house. elinor could hardly believe this to be true, as it seemed very unlikely that willoughby should propose, or marianne consent, to enter the house while mrs. smith was in it, with whom marianne had not the smallest acquaintance. as soon as they left the dining-room, elinor enquired of her about it; and great was her surprise when she found that every circumstance related by mrs. jennings was perfectly true. marianne was quite angry with her for doubting it. "why should you imagine, elinor, that we did not go there, or that we did not see the house? is not it what you have often wished to do yourself?" "yes, marianne, but i would not go while mrs. smith was there, and with no other companion than mr. willoughby." "mr. willoughby however is the only person who can have a right to shew that house; and as he went in an open carriage, it was impossible to have any other companion. i never spent a pleasanter morning in my life." "i am afraid," replied elinor, "that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety." "on the contrary, nothing can be a stronger proof of it, elinor; for if there had been any real impropriety in what i did, i should have been sensible of it at the time, for we always know when we are acting wrong, and with such a conviction i could have had no pleasure." "but, my dear marianne, as it has already exposed you to some very impertinent remarks, do you not now begin to doubt the discretion of your own conduct?" "if the impertinent remarks of mrs. jennings are to be the proof of impropriety in conduct, we are all offending every moment of our lives. i value not her censure any more than i should do her commendation. i am not sensible of having done anything wrong in walking over mrs. smith's grounds, or in seeing her house. they will one day be mr. willoughby's, and--" "if they were one day to be your own, marianne, you would not be justified in what you have done." she blushed at this hint; but it was even visibly gratifying to her; and after a ten minutes' interval of earnest thought, she came to her sister again, and said with great good humour, "perhaps, elinor, it was rather ill-judged in me to go to allenham; but mr. willoughby wanted particularly to shew me the place; and it is a charming house, i assure you.--there is one remarkably pretty sitting room up stairs; of a nice comfortable size for constant use, and with modern furniture it would be delightful. it is a corner room, and has windows on two sides. on one side you look across the bowling-green, behind the house, to a beautiful hanging wood, and on the other you have a view of the church and village, and, beyond them, of those fine bold hills that we have so often admired. i did not see it to advantage, for nothing could be more forlorn than the furniture,--but if it were newly fitted up--a couple of hundred pounds, willoughby says, would make it one of the pleasantest summer-rooms in england." could elinor have listened to her without interruption from the others, she would have described every room in the house with equal delight. chapter 14 the sudden termination of colonel brandon's visit at the park, with his steadiness in concealing its cause, filled the mind, and raised the wonder of mrs. jennings for two or three days; she was a great wonderer, as every one must be who takes a very lively interest in all the comings and goings of all their acquaintance. she wondered, with little intermission what could be the reason of it; was sure there must be some bad news, and thought over every kind of distress that could have befallen him, with a fixed determination that he should not escape them all. "something very melancholy must be the matter, i am sure," said she. "i could see it in his face. poor man! i am afraid his circumstances may be bad. the estate at delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything sadly involved. i do think he must have been sent for about money matters, for what else can it be? i wonder whether it is so. i would give anything to know the truth of it. perhaps it is about miss williams and, by the bye, i dare say it is, because he looked so conscious when i mentioned her. may be she is ill in town; nothing in the world more likely, for i have a notion she is always rather sickly. i would lay any wager it is about miss williams. it is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances now, for he is a very prudent man, and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time. i wonder what it can be! may be his sister is worse at avignon, and has sent for him over. his setting off in such a hurry seems very like it. well, i wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart, and a good wife into the bargain." so wondered, so talked mrs. jennings. her opinion varying with every fresh conjecture, and all seeming equally probable as they arose. elinor, though she felt really interested in the welfare of colonel brandon, could not bestow all the wonder on his going so suddenly away, which mrs. jennings was desirous of her feeling; for besides that the circumstance did not in her opinion justify such lasting amazement or variety of speculation, her wonder was otherwise disposed of. it was engrossed by the extraordinary silence of her sister and willoughby on the subject, which they must know to be peculiarly interesting to them all. as this silence continued, every day made it appear more strange and more incompatible with the disposition of both. why they should not openly acknowledge to her mother and herself, what their constant behaviour to each other declared to have taken place, elinor could not imagine. she could easily conceive that marriage might not be immediately in their power; for though willoughby was independent, there was no reason to believe him rich. his estate had been rated by sir john at about six or seven hundred a year; but he lived at an expense to which that income could hardly be equal, and he had himself often complained of his poverty. but for this strange kind of secrecy maintained by them relative to their engagement, which in fact concealed nothing at all, she could not account; and it was so wholly contradictory to their general opinions and practice, that a doubt sometimes entered her mind of their being really engaged, and this doubt was enough to prevent her making any inquiry of marianne. nothing could be more expressive of attachment to them all, than willoughby's behaviour. to marianne it had all the distinguishing tenderness which a lover's heart could give, and to the rest of the family it was the affectionate attention of a son and a brother. the cottage seemed to be considered and loved by him as his home; many more of his hours were spent there than at allenham; and if no general engagement collected them at the park, the exercise which called him out in the morning was almost certain of ending there, where the rest of the day was spent by himself at the side of marianne, and by his favourite pointer at her feet. one evening in particular, about a week after colonel brandon left the country, his heart seemed more than usually open to every feeling of attachment to the objects around him; and on mrs. dashwood's happening to mention her design of improving the cottage in the spring, he warmly opposed every alteration of a place which affection had established as perfect with him. "what!" he exclaimed--"improve this dear cottage! no. that i will never consent to. not a stone must be added to its walls, not an inch to its size, if my feelings are regarded." "do not be alarmed," said miss dashwood, "nothing of the kind will be done; for my mother will never have money enough to attempt it." "i am heartily glad of it," he cried. "may she always be poor, if she can employ her riches no better." "thank you, willoughby. but you may be assured that i would not sacrifice one sentiment of local attachment of yours, or of any one whom i loved, for all the improvements in the world. depend upon it that whatever unemployed sum may remain, when i make up my accounts in the spring, i would even rather lay it uselessly by than dispose of it in a manner so painful to you. but are you really so attached to this place as to see no defect in it?" "i am," said he. "to me it is faultless. nay, more, i consider it as the only form of building in which happiness is attainable, and were i rich enough i would instantly pull combe down, and build it up again in the exact plan of this cottage." "with dark narrow stairs and a kitchen that smokes, i suppose," said elinor. "yes," cried he in the same eager tone, "with all and every thing belonging to it;--in no one convenience or inconvenience about it, should the least variation be perceptible. then, and then only, under such a roof, i might perhaps be as happy at combe as i have been at barton." "i flatter myself," replied elinor, "that even under the disadvantage of better rooms and a broader staircase, you will hereafter find your own house as faultless as you now do this." "there certainly are circumstances," said willoughby, "which might greatly endear it to me; but this place will always have one claim of my affection, which no other can possibly share." mrs. dashwood looked with pleasure at marianne, whose fine eyes were fixed so expressively on willoughby, as plainly denoted how well she understood him. "how often did i wish," added he, "when i was at allenham this time twelvemonth, that barton cottage were inhabited! i never passed within view of it without admiring its situation, and grieving that no one should live in it. how little did i then think that the very first news i should hear from mrs. smith, when i next came into the country, would be that barton cottage was taken: and i felt an immediate satisfaction and interest in the event, which nothing but a kind of prescience of what happiness i should experience from it, can account for. must it not have been so, marianne?" speaking to her in a lowered voice. then continuing his former tone, he said, "and yet this house you would spoil, mrs. dashwood? you would rob it of its simplicity by imaginary improvement! and this dear parlour in which our acquaintance first began, and in which so many happy hours have been since spent by us together, you would degrade to the condition of a common entrance, and every body would be eager to pass through the room which has hitherto contained within itself more real accommodation and comfort than any other apartment of the handsomest dimensions in the world could possibly afford." mrs. dashwood again assured him that no alteration of the kind should be attempted. "you are a good woman," he warmly replied. "your promise makes me easy. extend it a little farther, and it will make me happy. tell me that not only your house will remain the same, but that i shall ever find you and yours as unchanged as your dwelling; and that you will always consider me with the kindness which has made everything belonging to you so dear to me." the promise was readily given, and willoughby's behaviour during the whole of the evening declared at once his affection and happiness. "shall we see you tomorrow to dinner?" said mrs. dashwood, when he was leaving them. "i do not ask you to come in the morning, for we must walk to the park, to call on lady middleton." he engaged to be with them by four o'clock. chapter 15 mrs. dashwood's visit to lady middleton took place the next day, and two of her daughters went with her; but marianne excused herself from being of the party, under some trifling pretext of employment; and her mother, who concluded that a promise had been made by willoughby the night before of calling on her while they were absent, was perfectly satisfied with her remaining at home. on their return from the park they found willoughby's curricle and servant in waiting at the cottage, and mrs. dashwood was convinced that her conjecture had been just. so far it was all as she had foreseen; but on entering the house she beheld what no foresight had taught her to expect. they were no sooner in the passage than marianne came hastily out of the parlour apparently in violent affliction, with her handkerchief at her eyes; and without noticing them ran up stairs. surprised and alarmed they proceeded directly into the room she had just quitted, where they found only willoughby, who was leaning against the mantel-piece with his back towards them. he turned round on their coming in, and his countenance shewed that he strongly partook of the emotion which over-powered marianne. "is anything the matter with her?" cried mrs. dashwood as she entered--"is she ill?" "i hope not," he replied, trying to look cheerful; and with a forced smile presently added, "it is i who may rather expect to be ill--for i am now suffering under a very heavy disappointment!" "disappointment?" "yes, for i am unable to keep my engagement with you. mrs. smith has this morning exercised the privilege of riches upon a poor dependent cousin, by sending me on business to london. i have just received my dispatches, and taken my farewell of allenham; and by way of exhilaration i am now come to take my farewell of you." "to london!--and are you going this morning?" "almost this moment." "this is very unfortunate. but mrs. smith must be obliged;--and her business will not detain you from us long i hope." he coloured as he replied, "you are very kind, but i have no idea of returning into devonshire immediately. my visits to mrs. smith are never repeated within the twelvemonth." "and is mrs. smith your only friend? is allenham the only house in the neighbourhood to which you will be welcome? for shame, willoughby, can you wait for an invitation here?" his colour increased; and with his eyes fixed on the ground he only replied, "you are too good." mrs. dashwood looked at elinor with surprise. elinor felt equal amazement. for a few moments every one was silent. mrs. dashwood first spoke. "i have only to add, my dear willoughby, that at barton cottage you will always be welcome; for i will not press you to return here immediately, because you only can judge how far that might be pleasing to mrs. smith; and on this head i shall be no more disposed to question your judgment than to doubt your inclination." "my engagements at present," replied willoughby, confusedly, "are of such a nature--that--i dare not flatter myself"-he stopt. mrs. dashwood was too much astonished to speak, and another pause succeeded. this was broken by willoughby, who said with a faint smile, "it is folly to linger in this manner. i will not torment myself any longer by remaining among friends whose society it is impossible for me now to enjoy." he then hastily took leave of them all and left the room. they saw him step into his carriage, and in a minute it was out of sight. mrs. dashwood felt too much for speech, and instantly quitted the parlour to give way in solitude to the concern and alarm which this sudden departure occasioned. elinor's uneasiness was at least equal to her mother's. she thought of what had just passed with anxiety and distrust. willoughby's behaviour in taking leave of them, his embarrassment, and affectation of cheerfulness, and, above all, his unwillingness to accept her mother's invitation, a backwardness so unlike a lover, so unlike himself, greatly disturbed her. one moment she feared that no serious design had ever been formed on his side; and the next that some unfortunate quarrel had taken place between him and her sister;--the distress in which marianne had quitted the room was such as a serious quarrel could most reasonably account for, though when she considered what marianne's love for him was, a quarrel seemed almost impossible. but whatever might be the particulars of their separation, her sister's affliction was indubitable; and she thought with the tenderest compassion of that violent sorrow which marianne was in all probability not merely giving way to as a relief, but feeding and encouraging as a duty. in about half an hour her mother returned, and though her eyes were red, her countenance was not uncheerful. "our dear willoughby is now some miles from barton, elinor," said she, as she sat down to work, "and with how heavy a heart does he travel?" "it is all very strange. so suddenly to be gone! it seems but the work of a moment. and last night he was with us so happy, so cheerful, so affectionate? and now, after only ten minutes notice--gone too without intending to return!--something more than what he owned to us must have happened. he did not speak, he did not behave like himself. you must have seen the difference as well as i. what can it be? can they have quarrelled? why else should he have shewn such unwillingness to accept your invitation here?"-"it was not inclination that he wanted, elinor; i could plainly see that. he had not the power of accepting it. i have thought it all over i assure you, and i can perfectly account for every thing that at first seemed strange to me as well as to you." "can you, indeed!" "yes. i have explained it to myself in the most satisfactory way;--but you, elinor, who love to doubt where you can--it will not satisfy you, i know; but you shall not talk me out of my trust in it. i am persuaded that mrs. smith suspects his regard for marianne, disapproves of it, (perhaps because she has other views for him,) and on that account is eager to get him away;--and that the business which she sends him off to transact is invented as an excuse to dismiss him. this is what i believe to have happened. he is, moreover, aware that she does disapprove the connection, he dares not therefore at present confess to her his engagement with marianne, and he feels himself obliged, from his dependent situation, to give into her schemes, and absent himself from devonshire for a while. you will tell me, i know, that this may or may not have happened; but i will listen to no cavil, unless you can point out any other method of understanding the affair as satisfactory at this. and now, elinor, what have you to say?" "nothing, for you have anticipated my answer." "then you would have told me, that it might or might not have happened. oh, elinor, how incomprehensible are your feelings! you had rather take evil upon credit than good. you had rather look out for misery for marianne, and guilt for poor willoughby, than an apology for the latter. you are resolved to think him blameable, because he took leave of us with less affection than his usual behaviour has shewn. and is no allowance to be made for inadvertence, or for spirits depressed by recent disappointment? are no probabilities to be accepted, merely because they are not certainties? is nothing due to the man whom we have all such reason to love, and no reason in the world to think ill of? to the possibility of motives unanswerable in themselves, though unavoidably secret for a while? and, after all, what is it you suspect him of?" "i can hardly tell myself. but suspicion of something unpleasant is the inevitable consequence of such an alteration as we just witnessed in him. there is great truth, however, in what you have now urged of the allowances which ought to be made for him, and it is my wish to be candid in my judgment of every body. willoughby may undoubtedly have very sufficient reasons for his conduct, and i will hope that he has. but it would have been more like willoughby to acknowledge them at once. secrecy may be advisable; but still i cannot help wondering at its being practiced by him." "do not blame him, however, for departing from his character, where the deviation is necessary. but you really do admit the justice of what i have said in his defence?--i am happy--and he is acquitted." "not entirely. it may be proper to conceal their engagement (if they are engaged) from mrs. smith--and if that is the case, it must be highly expedient for willoughby to be but little in devonshire at present. but this is no excuse for their concealing it from us." "concealing it from us! my dear child, do you accuse willoughby and marianne of concealment? this is strange indeed, when your eyes have been reproaching them every day for incautiousness." "i want no proof of their affection," said elinor; "but of their engagement i do." "i am perfectly satisfied of both." "yet not a syllable has been said to you on the subject, by either of them." "i have not wanted syllables where actions have spoken so plainly. has not his behaviour to marianne and to all of us, for at least the last fortnight, declared that he loved and considered her as his future wife, and that he felt for us the attachment of the nearest relation? have we not perfectly understood each other? has not my consent been daily asked by his looks, his manner, his attentive and affectionate respect? my elinor, is it possible to doubt their engagement? how could such a thought occur to you? how is it to be supposed that willoughby, persuaded as he must be of your sister's love, should leave her, and leave her perhaps for months, without telling her of his affection;--that they should part without a mutual exchange of confidence?" "i confess," replied elinor, "that every circumstance except one is in favour of their engagement; but that one is the total silence of both on the subject, and with me it almost outweighs every other." "how strange this is! you must think wretchedly indeed of willoughby, if, after all that has openly passed between them, you can doubt the nature of the terms on which they are together. has he been acting a part in his behaviour to your sister all this time? do you suppose him really indifferent to her?" "no, i cannot think that. he must and does love her i am sure." "but with a strange kind of tenderness, if he can leave her with such indifference, such carelessness of the future, as you attribute to him." "you must remember, my dear mother, that i have never considered this matter as certain. i have had my doubts, i confess; but they are fainter than they were, and they may soon be entirely done away. if we find they correspond, every fear of mine will be removed." "a mighty concession indeed! if you were to see them at the altar, you would suppose they were going to be married. ungracious girl! but i require no such proof. nothing in my opinion has ever passed to justify doubt; no secrecy has been attempted; all has been uniformly open and unreserved. you cannot doubt your sister's wishes. it must be willoughby therefore whom you suspect. but why? is he not a man of honour and feeling? has there been any inconsistency on his side to create alarm? can he be deceitful?" "i hope not, i believe not," cried elinor. "i love willoughby, sincerely love him; and suspicion of his integrity cannot be more painful to yourself than to me. it has been involuntary, and i will not encourage it. i was startled, i confess, by the alteration in his manners this morning;--he did not speak like himself, and did not return your kindness with any cordiality. but all this may be explained by such a situation of his affairs as you have supposed. he had just parted from my sister, had seen her leave him in the greatest affliction; and if he felt obliged, from a fear of offending mrs. smith, to resist the temptation of returning here soon, and yet aware that by declining your invitation, by saying that he was going away for some time, he should seem to act an ungenerous, a suspicious part by our family, he might well be embarrassed and disturbed. in such a case, a plain and open avowal of his difficulties would have been more to his honour i think, as well as more consistent with his general character;--but i will not raise objections against any one's conduct on so illiberal a foundation, as a difference in judgment from myself, or a deviation from what i may think right and consistent." "you speak very properly. willoughby certainly does not deserve to be suspected. though we have not known him long, he is no stranger in this part of the world; and who has ever spoken to his disadvantage? had he been in a situation to act independently and marry immediately, it might have been odd that he should leave us without acknowledging everything to me at once: but this is not the case. it is an engagement in some respects not prosperously begun, for their marriage must be at a very uncertain distance; and even secrecy, as far as it can be observed, may now be very advisable." they were interrupted by the entrance of margaret; and elinor was then at liberty to think over the representations of her mother, to acknowledge the probability of many, and hope for the justice of all. they saw nothing of marianne till dinner time, when she entered the room and took her place at the table without saying a word. her eyes were red and swollen; and it seemed as if her tears were even then restrained with difficulty. she avoided the looks of them all, could neither eat nor speak, and after some time, on her mother's silently pressing her hand with tender compassion, her small degree of fortitude was quite overcome, she burst into tears and left the room. this violent oppression of spirits continued the whole evening. she was without any power, because she was without any desire of command over herself. the slightest mention of anything relative to willoughby overpowered her in an instant; and though her family were most anxiously attentive to her comfort, it was impossible for them, if they spoke at all, to keep clear of every subject which her feelings connected with him. chapter 16 marianne would have thought herself very inexcusable had she been able to sleep at all the first night after parting from willoughby. she would have been ashamed to look her family in the face the next morning, had she not risen from her bed in more need of repose than when she lay down in it. but the feelings which made such composure a disgrace, left her in no danger of incurring it. she was awake the whole night, and she wept the greatest part of it. she got up with a headache, was unable to talk, and unwilling to take any nourishment; giving pain every moment to her mother and sisters, and forbidding all attempt at consolation from either. her sensibility was potent enough! when breakfast was over she walked out by herself, and wandered about the village of allenham, indulging the recollection of past enjoyment and crying over the present reverse for the chief of the morning. the evening passed off in the equal indulgence of feeling. she played over every favourite song that she had been used to play to willoughby, every air in which their voices had been oftenest joined, and sat at the instrument gazing on every line of music that he had written out for her, till her heart was so heavy that no farther sadness could be gained; and this nourishment of grief was every day applied. she spent whole hours at the pianoforte alternately singing and crying; her voice often totally suspended by her tears. in books too, as well as in music, she courted the misery which a contrast between the past and present was certain of giving. she read nothing but what they had been used to read together. such violence of affliction indeed could not be supported for ever; it sunk within a few days into a calmer melancholy; but these employments, to which she daily recurred, her solitary walks and silent meditations, still produced occasional effusions of sorrow as lively as ever. no letter from willoughby came; and none seemed expected by marianne. her mother was surprised, and elinor again became uneasy. but mrs. dashwood could find explanations whenever she wanted them, which at least satisfied herself. "remember, elinor," said she, "how very often sir john fetches our letters himself from the post, and carries them to it. we have already agreed that secrecy may be necessary, and we must acknowledge that it could not be maintained if their correspondence were to pass through sir john's hands." elinor could not deny the truth of this, and she tried to find in it a motive sufficient for their silence. but there was one method so direct, so simple, and in her opinion so eligible of knowing the real state of the affair, and of instantly removing all mystery, that she could not help suggesting it to her mother. "why do you not ask marianne at once," said she, "whether she is or she is not engaged to willoughby? from you, her mother, and so kind, so indulgent a mother, the question could not give offence. it would be the natural result of your affection for her. she used to be all unreserve, and to you more especially." "i would not ask such a question for the world. supposing it possible that they are not engaged, what distress would not such an enquiry inflict! at any rate it would be most ungenerous. i should never deserve her confidence again, after forcing from her a confession of what is meant at present to be unacknowledged to any one. i know marianne's heart: i know that she dearly loves me, and that i shall not be the last to whom the affair is made known, when circumstances make the revealment of it eligible. i would not attempt to force the confidence of any one; of a child much less; because a sense of duty would prevent the denial which her wishes might direct." elinor thought this generosity overstrained, considering her sister's youth, and urged the matter farther, but in vain; common sense, common care, common prudence, were all sunk in mrs. dashwood's romantic delicacy. it was several days before willoughby's name was mentioned before marianne by any of her family; sir john and mrs. jennings, indeed, were not so nice; their witticisms added pain to many a painful hour;--but one evening, mrs. dashwood, accidentally taking up a volume of shakespeare, exclaimed, "we have never finished hamlet, marianne; our dear willoughby went away before we could get through it. we will put it by, that when he comes again...but it may be months, perhaps, before that happens." "months!" cried marianne, with strong surprise. "no--nor many weeks." mrs. dashwood was sorry for what she had said; but it gave elinor pleasure, as it produced a reply from marianne so expressive of confidence in willoughby and knowledge of his intentions. one morning, about a week after his leaving the country, marianne was prevailed on to join her sisters in their usual walk, instead of wandering away by herself. hitherto she had carefully avoided every companion in her rambles. if her sisters intended to walk on the downs, she directly stole away towards the lanes; if they talked of the valley, she was as speedy in climbing the hills, and could never be found when the others set off. but at length she was secured by the exertions of elinor, who greatly disapproved such continual seclusion. they walked along the road through the valley, and chiefly in silence, for marianne's mind could not be controlled, and elinor, satisfied with gaining one point, would not then attempt more. beyond the entrance of the valley, where the country, though still rich, was less wild and more open, a long stretch of the road which they had travelled on first coming to barton, lay before them; and on reaching that point, they stopped to look around them, and examine a prospect which formed the distance of their view from the cottage, from a spot which they had never happened to reach in any of their walks before. amongst the objects in the scene, they soon discovered an animated one; it was a man on horseback riding towards them. in a few minutes they could distinguish him to be a gentleman; and in a moment afterwards marianne rapturously exclaimed, "it is he; it is indeed;--i know it is!"--and was hastening to meet him, when elinor cried out, "indeed, marianne, i think you are mistaken. it is not willoughby. the person is not tall enough for him, and has not his air." "he has, he has," cried marianne, "i am sure he has. his air, his coat, his horse. i knew how soon he would come." she walked eagerly on as she spoke; and elinor, to screen marianne from particularity, as she felt almost certain of its not being willoughby, quickened her pace and kept up with her. they were soon within thirty yards of the gentleman. marianne looked again; her heart sunk within her; and abruptly turning round, she was hurrying back, when the voices of both her sisters were raised to detain her; a third, almost as well known as willoughby's, joined them in begging her to stop, and she turned round with surprise to see and welcome edward ferrars. he was the only person in the world who could at that moment be forgiven for not being willoughby; the only one who could have gained a smile from her; but she dispersed her tears to smile on him, and in her sister's happiness forgot for a time her own disappointment. he dismounted, and giving his horse to his servant, walked back with them to barton, whither he was purposely coming to visit them. he was welcomed by them all with great cordiality, but especially by marianne, who showed more warmth of regard in her reception of him than even elinor herself. to marianne, indeed, the meeting between edward and her sister was but a continuation of that unaccountable coldness which she had often observed at norland in their mutual behaviour. on edward's side, more particularly, there was a deficiency of all that a lover ought to look and say on such an occasion. he was confused, seemed scarcely sensible of pleasure in seeing them, looked neither rapturous nor gay, said little but what was forced from him by questions, and distinguished elinor by no mark of affection. marianne saw and listened with increasing surprise. she began almost to feel a dislike of edward; and it ended, as every feeling must end with her, by carrying back her thoughts to willoughby, whose manners formed a contrast sufficiently striking to those of his brother elect. after a short silence which succeeded the first surprise and enquiries of meeting, marianne asked edward if he came directly from london. no, he had been in devonshire a fortnight. "a fortnight!" she repeated, surprised at his being so long in the same county with elinor without seeing her before. he looked rather distressed as he added, that he had been staying with some friends near plymouth. "have you been lately in sussex?" said elinor. "i was at norland about a month ago." "and how does dear, dear norland look?" cried marianne. "dear, dear norland," said elinor, "probably looks much as it always does at this time of the year. the woods and walks thickly covered with dead leaves." "oh," cried marianne, "with what transporting sensation have i formerly seen them fall! how have i delighted, as i walked, to see them driven in showers about me by the wind! what feelings have they, the season, the air altogether inspired! now there is no one to regard them. they are seen only as a nuisance, swept hastily off, and driven as much as possible from the sight." "it is not every one," said elinor, "who has your passion for dead leaves." "no; my feelings are not often shared, not often understood. but sometimes they are."--as she said this, she sunk into a reverie for a few moments;--but rousing herself again, "now, edward," said she, calling his attention to the prospect, "here is barton valley. look up to it, and be tranquil if you can. look at those hills! did you ever see their equals? to the left is barton park, amongst those woods and plantations. you may see the end of the house. and there, beneath that farthest hill, which rises with such grandeur, is our cottage." "it is a beautiful country," he replied; "but these bottoms must be dirty in winter." "how can you think of dirt, with such objects before you?" "because," replied he, smiling, "among the rest of the objects before me, i see a very dirty lane." "how strange!" said marianne to herself as she walked on. "have you an agreeable neighbourhood here? are the middletons pleasant people?" "no, not all," answered marianne; "we could not be more unfortunately situated." "marianne," cried her sister, "how can you say so? how can you be so unjust? they are a very respectable family, mr. ferrars; and towards us have behaved in the friendliest manner. have you forgot, marianne, how many pleasant days we have owed to them?" "no," said marianne, in a low voice, "nor how many painful moments." elinor took no notice of this; and directing her attention to their visitor, endeavoured to support something like discourse with him, by talking of their present residence, its conveniences, &c. extorting from him occasional questions and remarks. his coldness and reserve mortified her severely; she was vexed and half angry; but resolving to regulate her behaviour to him by the past rather than the present, she avoided every appearance of resentment or displeasure, and treated him as she thought he ought to be treated from the family connection. chapter 17 mrs. dashwood was surprised only for a moment at seeing him; for his coming to barton was, in her opinion, of all things the most natural. her joy and expression of regard long outlived her wonder. he received the kindest welcome from her; and shyness, coldness, reserve could not stand against such a reception. they had begun to fail him before he entered the house, and they were quite overcome by the captivating manners of mrs. dashwood. indeed a man could not very well be in love with either of her daughters, without extending the passion to her; and elinor had the satisfaction of seeing him soon become more like himself. his affections seemed to reanimate towards them all, and his interest in their welfare again became perceptible. he was not in spirits, however; he praised their house, admired its prospect, was attentive, and kind; but still he was not in spirits. the whole family perceived it, and mrs. dashwood, attributing it to some want of liberality in his mother, sat down to table indignant against all selfish parents. "what are mrs. ferrars's views for you at present, edward?" said she, when dinner was over and they had drawn round the fire; "are you still to be a great orator in spite of yourself?" "no. i hope my mother is now convinced that i have no more talents than inclination for a public life!" "but how is your fame to be established? for famous you must be to satisfy all your family; and with no inclination for expense, no affection for strangers, no profession, and no assurance, you may find it a difficult matter." "i shall not attempt it. i have no wish to be distinguished; and have every reason to hope i never shall. thank heaven! i cannot be forced into genius and eloquence." "you have no ambition, i well know. your wishes are all moderate." "as moderate as those of the rest of the world, i believe. i wish as well as every body else to be perfectly happy; but, like every body else it must be in my own way. greatness will not make me so." "strange that it would!" cried marianne. "what have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness?" "grandeur has but little," said elinor, "but wealth has much to do with it." "elinor, for shame!" said marianne, "money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it. beyond a competence, it can afford no real satisfaction, as far as mere self is concerned." "perhaps," said elinor, smiling, "we may come to the same point. your competence and my wealth are very much alike, i dare say; and without them, as the world goes now, we shall both agree that every kind of external comfort must be wanting. your ideas are only more noble than mine. come, what is your competence?" "about eighteen hundred or two thousand a year; not more than that." elinor laughed. "two thousand a year! one is my wealth! i guessed how it would end." "and yet two thousand a-year is a very moderate income," said marianne. "a family cannot well be maintained on a smaller. i am sure i am not extravagant in my demands. a proper establishment of servants, a carriage, perhaps two, and hunters, cannot be supported on less." elinor smiled again, to hear her sister describing so accurately their future expenses at combe magna. "hunters!" repeated edward--"but why must you have hunters? every body does not hunt." marianne coloured as she replied, "but most people do." "i wish," said margaret, striking out a novel thought, "that somebody would give us all a large fortune apiece!" "oh that they would!" cried marianne, her eyes sparkling with animation, and her cheeks glowing with the delight of such imaginary happiness. "we are all unanimous in that wish, i suppose," said elinor, "in spite of the insufficiency of wealth." "oh dear!" cried margaret, "how happy i should be! i wonder what i should do with it!" marianne looked as if she had no doubt on that point. "i should be puzzled to spend so large a fortune myself," said mrs. dashwood, "if my children were all to be rich without my help." "you must begin your improvements on this house," observed elinor, "and your difficulties will soon vanish." "what magnificent orders would travel from this family to london," said edward, "in such an event! what a happy day for booksellers, music-sellers, and print-shops! you, miss dashwood, would give a general commission for every new print of merit to be sent you--and as for marianne, i know her greatness of soul, there would not be music enough in london to content her. and books!--thomson, cowper, scott--she would buy them all over and over again: she would buy up every copy, i believe, to prevent their falling into unworthy hands; and she would have every book that tells her how to admire an old twisted tree. should not you, marianne? forgive me, if i am very saucy. but i was willing to shew you that i had not forgot our old disputes." "i love to be reminded of the past, edward--whether it be melancholy or gay, i love to recall it--and you will never offend me by talking of former times. you are very right in supposing how my money would be spent--some of it, at least--my loose cash would certainly be employed in improving my collection of music and books." "and the bulk of your fortune would be laid out in annuities on the authors or their heirs." "no, edward, i should have something else to do with it." "perhaps, then, you would bestow it as a reward on that person who wrote the ablest defence of your favourite maxim, that no one can ever be in love more than once in their life--your opinion on that point is unchanged, i presume?" "undoubtedly. at my time of life opinions are tolerably fixed. it is not likely that i should now see or hear any thing to change them." "marianne is as steadfast as ever, you see," said elinor, "she is not at all altered." "she is only grown a little more grave than she was." "nay, edward," said marianne, "you need not reproach me. you are not very gay yourself." "why should you think so!" replied he, with a sigh. "but gaiety never was a part of my character." "nor do i think it a part of marianne's," said elinor; "i should hardly call her a lively girl--she is very earnest, very eager in all she does--sometimes talks a great deal and always with animation--but she is not often really merry." "i believe you are right," he replied, "and yet i have always set her down as a lively girl." "i have frequently detected myself in such kind of mistakes," said elinor, "in a total misapprehension of character in some point or other: fancying people so much more gay or grave, or ingenious or stupid than they really are, and i can hardly tell why or in what the deception originated. sometimes one is guided by what they say of themselves, and very frequently by what other people say of them, without giving oneself time to deliberate and judge." "but i thought it was right, elinor," said marianne, "to be guided wholly by the opinion of other people. i thought our judgments were given us merely to be subservient to those of neighbours. this has always been your doctrine, i am sure." "no, marianne, never. my doctrine has never aimed at the subjection of the understanding. all i have ever attempted to influence has been the behaviour. you must not confound my meaning. i am guilty, i confess, of having often wished you to treat our acquaintance in general with greater attention; but when have i advised you to adopt their sentiments or to conform to their judgment in serious matters?" "you have not been able to bring your sister over to your plan of general civility," said edward to elinor. "do you gain no ground?" "quite the contrary," replied elinor, looking expressively at marianne. "my judgment," he returned, "is all on your side of the question; but i am afraid my practice is much more on your sister's. i never wish to offend, but i am so foolishly shy, that i often seem negligent, when i am only kept back by my natural awkwardness. i have frequently thought that i must have been intended by nature to be fond of low company, i am so little at my ease among strangers of gentility!" "marianne has not shyness to excuse any inattention of hers," said elinor. "she knows her own worth too well for false shame," replied edward. "shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other. if i could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful, i should not be shy." "but you would still be reserved," said marianne, "and that is worse." edward started--"reserved! am i reserved, marianne?" "yes, very." "i do not understand you," replied he, colouring. "reserved!--how, in what manner? what am i to tell you? what can you suppose?" elinor looked surprised at his emotion; but trying to laugh off the subject, she said to him, "do not you know my sister well enough to understand what she means? do not you know she calls every one reserved who does not talk as fast, and admire what she admires as rapturously as herself?" edward made no answer. his gravity and thoughtfulness returned on him in their fullest extent--and he sat for some time silent and dull. chapter 18 elinor saw, with great uneasiness the low spirits of her friend. his visit afforded her but a very partial satisfaction, while his own enjoyment in it appeared so imperfect. it was evident that he was unhappy; she wished it were equally evident that he still distinguished her by the same affection which once she had felt no doubt of inspiring; but hitherto the continuance of his preference seemed very uncertain; and the reservedness of his manner towards her contradicted one moment what a more animated look had intimated the preceding one. he joined her and marianne in the breakfast-room the next morning before the others were down; and marianne, who was always eager to promote their happiness as far as she could, soon left them to themselves. but before she was half way upstairs she heard the parlour door open, and, turning round, was astonished to see edward himself come out. "i am going into the village to see my horses," said he, "as you are not yet ready for breakfast; i shall be back again presently." *** edward returned to them with fresh admiration of the surrounding country; in his walk to the village, he had seen many parts of the valley to advantage; and the village itself, in a much higher situation than the cottage, afforded a general view of the whole, which had exceedingly pleased him. this was a subject which ensured marianne's attention, and she was beginning to describe her own admiration of these scenes, and to question him more minutely on the objects that had particularly struck him, when edward interrupted her by saying, "you must not enquire too far, marianne--remember i have no knowledge in the picturesque, and i shall offend you by my ignorance and want of taste if we come to particulars. i shall call hills steep, which ought to be bold; surfaces strange and uncouth, which ought to be irregular and rugged; and distant objects out of sight, which ought only to be indistinct through the soft medium of a hazy atmosphere. you must be satisfied with such admiration as i can honestly give. i call it a very fine country--the hills are steep, the woods seem full of fine timber, and the valley looks comfortable and snug--with rich meadows and several neat farm houses scattered here and there. it exactly answers my idea of a fine country, because it unites beauty with utility--and i dare say it is a picturesque one too, because you admire it; i can easily believe it to be full of rocks and promontories, grey moss and brush wood, but these are all lost on me. i know nothing of the picturesque." "i am afraid it is but too true," said marianne; "but why should you boast of it?" "i suspect," said elinor, "that to avoid one kind of affectation, edward here falls into another. because he believes many people pretend to more admiration of the beauties of nature than they really feel, and is disgusted with such pretensions, he affects greater indifference and less discrimination in viewing them himself than he possesses. he is fastidious and will have an affectation of his own." "it is very true," said marianne, "that admiration of landscape scenery is become a mere jargon. every body pretends to feel and tries to describe with the taste and elegance of him who first defined what picturesque beauty was. i detest jargon of every kind, and sometimes i have kept my feelings to myself, because i could find no language to describe them in but what was worn and hackneyed out of all sense and meaning." "i am convinced," said edward, "that you really feel all the delight in a fine prospect which you profess to feel. but, in return, your sister must allow me to feel no more than i profess. i like a fine prospect, but not on picturesque principles. i do not like crooked, twisted, blasted trees. i admire them much more if they are tall, straight, and flourishing. i do not like ruined, tattered cottages. i am not fond of nettles or thistles, or heath blossoms. i have more pleasure in a snug farm-house than a watch-tower--and a troop of tidy, happy villages please me better than the finest banditti in the world." marianne looked with amazement at edward, with compassion at her sister. elinor only laughed. the subject was continued no farther; and marianne remained thoughtfully silent, till a new object suddenly engaged her attention. she was sitting by edward, and in taking his tea from mrs. dashwood, his hand passed so directly before her, as to make a ring, with a plait of hair in the centre, very conspicuous on one of his fingers. "i never saw you wear a ring before, edward," she cried. "is that fanny's hair? i remember her promising to give you some. but i should have thought her hair had been darker." marianne spoke inconsiderately what she really felt--but when she saw how much she had pained edward, her own vexation at her want of thought could not be surpassed by his. he coloured very deeply, and giving a momentary glance at elinor, replied, "yes; it is my sister's hair. the setting always casts a different shade on it, you know." elinor had met his eye, and looked conscious likewise. that the hair was her own, she instantaneously felt as well satisfied as marianne; the only difference in their conclusions was, that what marianne considered as a free gift from her sister, elinor was conscious must have been procured by some theft or contrivance unknown to herself. she was not in a humour, however, to regard it as an affront, and affecting to take no notice of what passed, by instantly talking of something else, she internally resolved henceforward to catch every opportunity of eyeing the hair and of satisfying herself, beyond all doubt, that it was exactly the shade of her own. edward's embarrassment lasted some time, and it ended in an absence of mind still more settled. he was particularly grave the whole morning. marianne severely censured herself for what she had said; but her own forgiveness might have been more speedy, had she known how little offence it had given her sister. before the middle of the day, they were visited by sir john and mrs. jennings, who, having heard of the arrival of a gentleman at the cottage, came to take a survey of the guest. with the assistance of his mother-in-law, sir john was not long in discovering that the name of ferrars began with an f. and this prepared a future mine of raillery against the devoted elinor, which nothing but the newness of their acquaintance with edward could have prevented from being immediately sprung. but, as it was, she only learned, from some very significant looks, how far their penetration, founded on margaret's instructions, extended. sir john never came to the dashwoods without either inviting them to dine at the park the next day, or to drink tea with them that evening. on the present occasion, for the better entertainment of their visitor, towards whose amusement he felt himself bound to contribute, he wished to engage them for both. "you must drink tea with us to night," said he, "for we shall be quite alone--and tomorrow you must absolutely dine with us, for we shall be a large party." mrs. jennings enforced the necessity. "and who knows but you may raise a dance," said she. "and that will tempt you, miss marianne." "a dance!" cried marianne. "impossible! who is to dance?" "who! why yourselves, and the careys, and whitakers to be sure.--what! you thought nobody could dance because a certain person that shall be nameless is gone!" "i wish with all my soul," cried sir john, "that willoughby were among us again." this, and marianne's blushing, gave new suspicions to edward. "and who is willoughby?" said he, in a low voice, to miss dashwood, by whom he was sitting. she gave him a brief reply. marianne's countenance was more communicative. edward saw enough to comprehend, not only the meaning of others, but such of marianne's expressions as had puzzled him before; and when their visitors left them, he went immediately round her, and said, in a whisper, "i have been guessing. shall i tell you my guess?" "what do you mean?" "shall i tell you." "certainly." "well then; i guess that mr. willoughby hunts." marianne was surprised and confused, yet she could not help smiling at the quiet archness of his manner, and after a moment's silence, said, "oh, edward! how can you?--but the time will come i hope...i am sure you will like him." "i do not doubt it," replied he, rather astonished at her earnestness and warmth; for had he not imagined it to be a joke for the good of her acquaintance in general, founded only on a something or a nothing between mr. willoughby and herself, he would not have ventured to mention it. chapter 19 edward remained a week at the cottage; he was earnestly pressed by mrs. dashwood to stay longer; but, as if he were bent only on self-mortification, he seemed resolved to be gone when his enjoyment among his friends was at the height. his spirits, during the last two or three days, though still very unequal, were greatly improved--he grew more and more partial to the house and environs--never spoke of going away without a sigh--declared his time to be wholly disengaged--even doubted to what place he should go when he left them--but still, go he must. never had any week passed so quickly--he could hardly believe it to be gone. he said so repeatedly; other things he said too, which marked the turn of his feelings and gave the lie to his actions. he had no pleasure at norland; he detested being in town; but either to norland or london, he must go. he valued their kindness beyond any thing, and his greatest happiness was in being with them. yet, he must leave them at the end of a week, in spite of their wishes and his own, and without any restraint on his time. elinor placed all that was astonishing in this way of acting to his mother's account; and it was happy for her that he had a mother whose character was so imperfectly known to her, as to be the general excuse for every thing strange on the part of her son. disappointed, however, and vexed as she was, and sometimes displeased with his uncertain behaviour to herself, she was very well disposed on the whole to regard his actions with all the candid allowances and generous qualifications, which had been rather more painfully extorted from her, for willoughby's service, by her mother. his want of spirits, of openness, and of consistency, were most usually attributed to his want of independence, and his better knowledge of mrs. ferrars's disposition and designs. the shortness of his visit, the steadiness of his purpose in leaving them, originated in the same fettered inclination, the same inevitable necessity of temporizing with his mother. the old well-established grievance of duty against will, parent against child, was the cause of all. she would have been glad to know when these difficulties were to cease, this opposition was to yield,--when mrs. ferrars would be reformed, and her son be at liberty to be happy. but from such vain wishes she was forced to turn for comfort to the renewal of her confidence in edward's affection, to the remembrance of every mark of regard in look or word which fell from him while at barton, and above all to that flattering proof of it which he constantly wore round his finger. "i think, edward," said mrs. dashwood, as they were at breakfast the last morning, "you would be a happier man if you had any profession to engage your time and give an interest to your plans and actions. some inconvenience to your friends, indeed, might result from it--you would not be able to give them so much of your time. but (with a smile) you would be materially benefited in one particular at least--you would know where to go when you left them." "i do assure you," he replied, "that i have long thought on this point, as you think now. it has been, and is, and probably will always be a heavy misfortune to me, that i have had no necessary business to engage me, no profession to give me employment, or afford me any thing like independence. but unfortunately my own nicety, and the nicety of my friends, have made me what i am, an idle, helpless being. we never could agree in our choice of a profession. i always preferred the church, as i still do. but that was not smart enough for my family. they recommended the army. that was a great deal too smart for me. the law was allowed to be genteel enough; many young men, who had chambers in the temple, made a very good appearance in the first circles, and drove about town in very knowing gigs. but i had no inclination for the law, even in this less abstruse study of it, which my family approved. as for the navy, it had fashion on its side, but i was too old when the subject was first started to enter it--and, at length, as there was no necessity for my having any profession at all, as i might be as dashing and expensive without a red coat on my back as with one, idleness was pronounced on the whole to be most advantageous and honourable, and a young man of eighteen is not in general so earnestly bent on being busy as to resist the solicitations of his friends to do nothing. i was therefore entered at oxford and have been properly idle ever since." "the consequence of which, i suppose, will be," said mrs. dashwood, "since leisure has not promoted your own happiness, that your sons will be brought up to as many pursuits, employments, professions, and trades as columella's." "they will be brought up," said he, in a serious accent, "to be as unlike myself as is possible. in feeling, in action, in condition, in every thing." "come, come; this is all an effusion of immediate want of spirits, edward. you are in a melancholy humour, and fancy that any one unlike yourself must be happy. but remember that the pain of parting from friends will be felt by every body at times, whatever be their education or state. know your own happiness. you want nothing but patience--or give it a more fascinating name, call it hope. your mother will secure to you, in time, that independence you are so anxious for; it is her duty, and it will, it must ere long become her happiness to prevent your whole youth from being wasted in discontent. how much may not a few months do?" "i think," replied edward, "that i may defy many months to produce any good to me." this desponding turn of mind, though it could not be communicated to mrs. dashwood, gave additional pain to them all in the parting, which shortly took place, and left an uncomfortable impression on elinor's feelings especially, which required some trouble and time to subdue. but as it was her determination to subdue it, and to prevent herself from appearing to suffer more than what all her family suffered on his going away, she did not adopt the method so judiciously employed by marianne, on a similar occasion, to augment and fix her sorrow, by seeking silence, solitude and idleness. their means were as different as their objects, and equally suited to the advancement of each. elinor sat down to her drawing-table as soon as he was out of the house, busily employed herself the whole day, neither sought nor avoided the mention of his name, appeared to interest herself almost as much as ever in the general concerns of the family, and if, by this conduct, she did not lessen her own grief, it was at least prevented from unnecessary increase, and her mother and sisters were spared much solicitude on her account. such behaviour as this, so exactly the reverse of her own, appeared no more meritorious to marianne, than her own had seemed faulty to her. the business of self-command she settled very easily;--with strong affections it was impossible, with calm ones it could have no merit. that her sister's affections were calm, she dared not deny, though she blushed to acknowledge it; and of the strength of her own, she gave a very striking proof, by still loving and respecting that sister, in spite of this mortifying conviction. without shutting herself up from her family, or leaving the house in determined solitude to avoid them, or lying awake the whole night to indulge meditation, elinor found every day afforded her leisure enough to think of edward, and of edward's behaviour, in every possible variety which the different state of her spirits at different times could produce,--with tenderness, pity, approbation, censure, and doubt. there were moments in abundance, when, if not by the absence of her mother and sisters, at least by the nature of their employments, conversation was forbidden among them, and every effect of solitude was produced. her mind was inevitably at liberty; her thoughts could not be chained elsewhere; and the past and the future, on a subject so interesting, must be before her, must force her attention, and engross her memory, her reflection, and her fancy. from a reverie of this kind, as she sat at her drawing-table, she was roused one morning, soon after edward's leaving them, by the arrival of company. she happened to be quite alone. the closing of the little gate, at the entrance of the green court in front of the house, drew her eyes to the window, and she saw a large party walking up to the door. amongst them were sir john and lady middleton and mrs. jennings, but there were two others, a gentleman and lady, who were quite unknown to her. she was sitting near the window, and as soon as sir john perceived her, he left the rest of the party to the ceremony of knocking at the door, and stepping across the turf, obliged her to open the casement to speak to him, though the space was so short between the door and the window, as to make it hardly possible to speak at one without being heard at the other. "well," said he, "we have brought you some strangers. how do you like them?" "hush! they will hear you." "never mind if they do. it is only the palmers. charlotte is very pretty, i can tell you. you may see her if you look this way." as elinor was certain of seeing her in a couple of minutes, without taking that liberty, she begged to be excused. "where is marianne? has she run away because we are come? i see her instrument is open." "she is walking, i believe." they were now joined by mrs. jennings, who had not patience enough to wait till the door was opened before she told her story. she came hallooing to the window, "how do you do, my dear? how does mrs. dashwood do? and where are your sisters? what! all alone! you will be glad of a little company to sit with you. i have brought my other son and daughter to see you. only think of their coming so suddenly! i thought i heard a carriage last night, while we were drinking our tea, but it never entered my head that it could be them. i thought of nothing but whether it might not be colonel brandon come back again; so i said to sir john, i do think i hear a carriage; perhaps it is colonel brandon come back again"-elinor was obliged to turn from her, in the middle of her story, to receive the rest of the party; lady middleton introduced the two strangers; mrs. dashwood and margaret came down stairs at the same time, and they all sat down to look at one another, while mrs. jennings continued her story as she walked through the passage into the parlour, attended by sir john. mrs. palmer was several years younger than lady middleton, and totally unlike her in every respect. she was short and plump, had a very pretty face, and the finest expression of good humour in it that could possibly be. her manners were by no means so elegant as her sister's, but they were much more prepossessing. she came in with a smile, smiled all the time of her visit, except when she laughed, and smiled when she went away. her husband was a grave looking young man of five or six and twenty, with an air of more fashion and sense than his wife, but of less willingness to please or be pleased. he entered the room with a look of self-consequence, slightly bowed to the ladies, without speaking a word, and, after briefly surveying them and their apartments, took up a newspaper from the table, and continued to read it as long as he staid. mrs. palmer, on the contrary, who was strongly endowed by nature with a turn for being uniformly civil and happy, was hardly seated before her admiration of the parlour and every thing in it burst forth. "well! what a delightful room this is! i never saw anything so charming! only think, mama, how it is improved since i was here last! i always thought it such a sweet place, ma'am! (turning to mrs. dashwood) but you have made it so charming! only look, sister, how delightful every thing is! how i should like such a house for myself! should not you, mr. palmer?" mr. palmer made her no answer, and did not even raise his eyes from the newspaper. "mr. palmer does not hear me," said she, laughing; "he never does sometimes. it is so ridiculous!" this was quite a new idea to mrs. dashwood; she had never been used to find wit in the inattention of any one, and could not help looking with surprise at them both. mrs. jennings, in the meantime, talked on as loud as she could, and continued her account of their surprise, the evening before, on seeing their friends, without ceasing till every thing was told. mrs. palmer laughed heartily at the recollection of their astonishment, and every body agreed, two or three times over, that it had been quite an agreeable surprise. "you may believe how glad we all were to see them," added mrs. jennings, leaning forward towards elinor, and speaking in a low voice as if she meant to be heard by no one else, though they were seated on different sides of the room; "but, however, i can't help wishing they had not travelled quite so fast, nor made such a long journey of it, for they came all round by london upon account of some business, for you know (nodding significantly and pointing to her daughter) it was wrong in her situation. i wanted her to stay at home and rest this morning, but she would come with us; she longed so much to see you all!" mrs. palmer laughed, and said it would not do her any harm. "she expects to be confined in february," continued mrs. jennings. lady middleton could no longer endure such a conversation, and therefore exerted herself to ask mr. palmer if there was any news in the paper. "no, none at all," he replied, and read on. "here comes marianne," cried sir john. "now, palmer, you shall see a monstrous pretty girl." he immediately went into the passage, opened the front door, and ushered her in himself. mrs. jennings asked her, as soon as she appeared, if she had not been to allenham; and mrs. palmer laughed so heartily at the question, as to show she understood it. mr. palmer looked up on her entering the room, stared at her some minutes, and then returned to his newspaper. mrs. palmer's eye was now caught by the drawings which hung round the room. she got up to examine them. "oh! dear, how beautiful these are! well! how delightful! do but look, mama, how sweet! i declare they are quite charming; i could look at them for ever." and then sitting down again, she very soon forgot that there were any such things in the room. when lady middleton rose to go away, mr. palmer rose also, laid down the newspaper, stretched himself and looked at them all around. "my love, have you been asleep?" said his wife, laughing. he made her no answer; and only observed, after again examining the room, that it was very low pitched, and that the ceiling was crooked. he then made his bow, and departed with the rest. sir john had been very urgent with them all to spend the next day at the park. mrs. dashwood, who did not chuse to dine with them oftener than they dined at the cottage, absolutely refused on her own account; her daughters might do as they pleased. but they had no curiosity to see how mr. and mrs. palmer ate their dinner, and no expectation of pleasure from them in any other way. they attempted, therefore, likewise, to excuse themselves; the weather was uncertain, and not likely to be good. but sir john would not be satisfied--the carriage should be sent for them and they must come. lady middleton too, though she did not press their mother, pressed them. mrs. jennings and mrs. palmer joined their entreaties, all seemed equally anxious to avoid a family party; and the young ladies were obliged to yield. "why should they ask us?" said marianne, as soon as they were gone. "the rent of this cottage is said to be low; but we have it on very hard terms, if we are to dine at the park whenever any one is staying either with them, or with us." "they mean no less to be civil and kind to us now," said elinor, "by these frequent invitations, than by those which we received from them a few weeks ago. the alteration is not in them, if their parties are grown tedious and dull. we must look for the change elsewhere." chapter 20 as the miss dashwoods entered the drawing-room of the park the next day, at one door, mrs. palmer came running in at the other, looking as good humoured and merry as before. she took them all most affectionately by the hand, and expressed great delight in seeing them again. "i am so glad to see you!" said she, seating herself between elinor and marianne, "for it is so bad a day i was afraid you might not come, which would be a shocking thing, as we go away again tomorrow. we must go, for the westons come to us next week you know. it was quite a sudden thing our coming at all, and i knew nothing of it till the carriage was coming to the door, and then mr. palmer asked me if i would go with him to barton. he is so droll! he never tells me any thing! i am so sorry we cannot stay longer; however we shall meet again in town very soon, i hope." they were obliged to put an end to such an expectation. "not go to town!" cried mrs. palmer, with a laugh, "i shall be quite disappointed if you do not. i could get the nicest house in the world for you, next door to ours, in hanover-square. you must come, indeed. i am sure i shall be very happy to chaperon you at any time till i am confined, if mrs. dashwood should not like to go into public." they thanked her; but were obliged to resist all her entreaties. "oh, my love," cried mrs. palmer to her husband, who just then entered the room--"you must help me to persuade the miss dashwoods to go to town this winter." her love made no answer; and after slightly bowing to the ladies, began complaining of the weather. "how horrid all this is!" said he. "such weather makes every thing and every body disgusting. dullness is as much produced within doors as without, by rain. it makes one detest all one's acquaintance. what the devil does sir john mean by not having a billiard room in his house? how few people know what comfort is! sir john is as stupid as the weather." the rest of the company soon dropt in. "i am afraid, miss marianne," said sir john, "you have not been able to take your usual walk to allenham today." marianne looked very grave and said nothing. "oh, don't be so sly before us," said mrs. palmer; "for we know all about it, i assure you; and i admire your taste very much, for i think he is extremely handsome. we do not live a great way from him in the country, you know. not above ten miles, i dare say." "much nearer thirty," said her husband. "ah, well! there is not much difference. i never was at his house; but they say it is a sweet pretty place." "as vile a spot as i ever saw in my life," said mr. palmer. marianne remained perfectly silent, though her countenance betrayed her interest in what was said. "is it very ugly?" continued mrs. palmer--"then it must be some other place that is so pretty i suppose." when they were seated in the dining room, sir john observed with regret that they were only eight all together. "my dear," said he to his lady, "it is very provoking that we should be so few. why did not you ask the gilberts to come to us today?" "did not i tell you, sir john, when you spoke to me about it before, that it could not be done? they dined with us last." "you and i, sir john," said mrs. jennings, "should not stand upon such ceremony." "then you would be very ill-bred," cried mr. palmer. "my love you contradict every body," said his wife with her usual laugh. "do you know that you are quite rude?" "i did not know i contradicted any body in calling your mother ill-bred." "ay, you may abuse me as you please," said the good-natured old lady, "you have taken charlotte off my hands, and cannot give her back again. so there i have the whip hand of you." charlotte laughed heartily to think that her husband could not get rid of her; and exultingly said, she did not care how cross he was to her, as they must live together. it was impossible for any one to be more thoroughly good-natured, or more determined to be happy than mrs. palmer. the studied indifference, insolence, and discontent of her husband gave her no pain; and when he scolded or abused her, she was highly diverted. "mr. palmer is so droll!" said she, in a whisper, to elinor. "he is always out of humour." elinor was not inclined, after a little observation, to give him credit for being so genuinely and unaffectedly ill-natured or ill-bred as he wished to appear. his temper might perhaps be a little soured by finding, like many others of his sex, that through some unaccountable bias in favour of beauty, he was the husband of a very silly woman,--but she knew that this kind of blunder was too common for any sensible man to be lastingly hurt by it.-it was rather a wish of distinction, she believed, which produced his contemptuous treatment of every body, and his general abuse of every thing before him. it was the desire of appearing superior to other people. the motive was too common to be wondered at; but the means, however they might succeed by establishing his superiority in ill-breeding, were not likely to attach any one to him except his wife. "oh, my dear miss dashwood," said mrs. palmer soon afterwards, "i have got such a favour to ask of you and your sister. will you come and spend some time at cleveland this christmas? now, pray do,--and come while the westons are with us. you cannot think how happy i shall be! it will be quite delightful!--my love," applying to her husband, "don't you long to have the miss dashwoods come to cleveland?" "certainly," he replied, with a sneer--"i came into devonshire with no other view." "there now,"--said his lady, "you see mr. palmer expects you; so you cannot refuse to come." they both eagerly and resolutely declined her invitation. "but indeed you must and shall come. i am sure you will like it of all things. the westons will be with us, and it will be quite delightful. you cannot think what a sweet place cleveland is; and we are so gay now, for mr. palmer is always going about the country canvassing against the election; and so many people came to dine with us that i never saw before, it is quite charming! but, poor fellow! it is very fatiguing to him! for he is forced to make every body like him." elinor could hardly keep her countenance as she assented to the hardship of such an obligation. "how charming it will be," said charlotte, "when he is in parliament!--won't it? how i shall laugh! it will be so ridiculous to see all his letters directed to him with an m.p.--but do you know, he says, he will never frank for me? he declares he won't. don't you, mr. palmer?" mr. palmer took no notice of her. "he cannot bear writing, you know," she continued--"he says it is quite shocking." "no," said he, "i never said any thing so irrational. don't palm all your abuses of languages upon me." "there now; you see how droll he is. this is always the way with him! sometimes he won't speak to me for half a day together, and then he comes out with something so droll--all about any thing in the world." she surprised elinor very much as they returned into the drawing-room, by asking her whether she did not like mr. palmer excessively. "certainly," said elinor; "he seems very agreeable." "well--i am so glad you do. i thought you would, he is so pleasant; and mr. palmer is excessively pleased with you and your sisters i can tell you, and you can't think how disappointed he will be if you don't come to cleveland.--i can't imagine why you should object to it." elinor was again obliged to decline her invitation; and by changing the subject, put a stop to her entreaties. she thought it probable that as they lived in the same county, mrs. palmer might be able to give some more particular account of willoughby's general character, than could be gathered from the middletons' partial acquaintance with him; and she was eager to gain from any one, such a confirmation of his merits as might remove the possibility of fear from marianne. she began by inquiring if they saw much of mr. willoughby at cleveland, and whether they were intimately acquainted with him. "oh dear, yes; i know him extremely well," replied mrs. palmer;--"not that i ever spoke to him, indeed; but i have seen him for ever in town. somehow or other i never happened to be staying at barton while he was at allenham. mama saw him here once before;--but i was with my uncle at weymouth. however, i dare say we should have seen a great deal of him in somersetshire, if it had not happened very unluckily that we should never have been in the country together. he is very little at combe, i believe; but if he were ever so much there, i do not think mr. palmer would visit him, for he is in the opposition, you know, and besides it is such a way off. i know why you inquire about him, very well; your sister is to marry him. i am monstrous glad of it, for then i shall have her for a neighbour you know." "upon my word," replied elinor, "you know much more of the matter than i do, if you have any reason to expect such a match." "don't pretend to deny it, because you know it is what every body talks of. i assure you i heard of it in my way through town." "my dear mrs. palmer!" "upon my honour i did.--i met colonel brandon monday morning in bond-street, just before we left town, and he told me of it directly." "you surprise me very much. colonel brandon tell you of it! surely you must be mistaken. to give such intelligence to a person who could not be interested in it, even if it were true, is not what i should expect colonel brandon to do." "but i do assure you it was so, for all that, and i will tell you how it happened. when we met him, he turned back and walked with us; and so we began talking of my brother and sister, and one thing and another, and i said to him, 'so, colonel, there is a new family come to barton cottage, i hear, and mama sends me word they are very pretty, and that one of them is going to be married to mr. willoughby of combe magna. is it true, pray? for of course you must know, as you have been in devonshire so lately.'" "and what did the colonel say?" "oh--he did not say much; but he looked as if he knew it to be true, so from that moment i set it down as certain. it will be quite delightful, i declare! when is it to take place?" "mr. brandon was very well i hope?" "oh! yes, quite well; and so full of your praises, he did nothing but say fine things of you." "i am flattered by his commendation. he seems an excellent man; and i think him uncommonly pleasing." "so do i.--he is such a charming man, that it is quite a pity he should be so grave and so dull. mama says he was in love with your sister too.-i assure you it was a great compliment if he was, for he hardly ever falls in love with any body." "is mr. willoughby much known in your part of somersetshire?" said elinor. "oh! yes, extremely well; that is, i do not believe many people are acquainted with him, because combe magna is so far off; but they all think him extremely agreeable i assure you. nobody is more liked than mr. willoughby wherever he goes, and so you may tell your sister. she is a monstrous lucky girl to get him, upon my honour; not but that he is much more lucky in getting her, because she is so very handsome and agreeable, that nothing can be good enough for her. however, i don't think her hardly at all handsomer than you, i assure you; for i think you both excessively pretty, and so does mr. palmer too i am sure, though we could not get him to own it last night." mrs. palmer's information respecting willoughby was not very material; but any testimony in his favour, however small, was pleasing to her. "i am so glad we are got acquainted at last," continued charlotte.--"and now i hope we shall always be great friends. you can't think how much i longed to see you! it is so delightful that you should live at the cottage! nothing can be like it, to be sure! and i am so glad your sister is going to be well married! i hope you will be a great deal at combe magna. it is a sweet place, by all accounts." "you have been long acquainted with colonel brandon, have not you?" "yes, a great while; ever since my sister married.-he was a particular friend of sir john's. i believe," she added in a low voice, "he would have been very glad to have had me, if he could. sir john and lady middleton wished it very much. but mama did not think the match good enough for me, otherwise sir john would have mentioned it to the colonel, and we should have been married immediately." "did not colonel brandon know of sir john's proposal to your mother before it was made? had he never owned his affection to yourself?" "oh, no; but if mama had not objected to it, i dare say he would have liked it of all things. he had not seen me then above twice, for it was before i left school. however, i am much happier as i am. mr. palmer is the kind of man i like." chapter 21 the palmers returned to cleveland the next day, and the two families at barton were again left to entertain each other. but this did not last long; elinor had hardly got their last visitors out of her head, had hardly done wondering at charlotte's being so happy without a cause, at mr. palmer's acting so simply, with good abilities, and at the strange unsuitableness which often existed between husband and wife, before sir john's and mrs. jennings's active zeal in the cause of society, procured her some other new acquaintance to see and observe. in a morning's excursion to exeter, they had met with two young ladies, whom mrs. jennings had the satisfaction of discovering to be her relations, and this was enough for sir john to invite them directly to the park, as soon as their present engagements at exeter were over. their engagements at exeter instantly gave way before such an invitation, and lady middleton was thrown into no little alarm on the return of sir john, by hearing that she was very soon to receive a visit from two girls whom she had never seen in her life, and of whose elegance,--whose tolerable gentility even, she could have no proof; for the assurances of her husband and mother on that subject went for nothing at all. their being her relations too made it so much the worse; and mrs. jennings's attempts at consolation were therefore unfortunately founded, when she advised her daughter not to care about their being so fashionable; because they were all cousins and must put up with one another. as it was impossible, however, now to prevent their coming, lady middleton resigned herself to the idea of it, with all the philosophy of a well-bred woman, contenting herself with merely giving her husband a gentle reprimand on the subject five or six times every day. the young ladies arrived: their appearance was by no means ungenteel or unfashionable. their dress was very smart, their manners very civil, they were delighted with the house, and in raptures with the furniture, and they happened to be so doatingly fond of children that lady middleton's good opinion was engaged in their favour before they had been an hour at the park. she declared them to be very agreeable girls indeed, which for her ladyship was enthusiastic admiration. sir john's confidence in his own judgment rose with this animated praise, and he set off directly for the cottage to tell the miss dashwoods of the miss steeles' arrival, and to assure them of their being the sweetest girls in the world. from such commendation as this, however, there was not much to be learned; elinor well knew that the sweetest girls in the world were to be met with in every part of england, under every possible variation of form, face, temper and understanding. sir john wanted the whole family to walk to the park directly and look at his guests. benevolent, philanthropic man! it was painful to him even to keep a third cousin to himself. "do come now," said he--"pray come--you must come--i declare you shall come--you can't think how you will like them. lucy is monstrous pretty, and so good humoured and agreeable! the children are all hanging about her already, as if she was an old acquaintance. and they both long to see you of all things, for they have heard at exeter that you are the most beautiful creatures in the world; and i have told them it is all very true, and a great deal more. you will be delighted with them i am sure. they have brought the whole coach full of playthings for the children. how can you be so cross as not to come? why they are your cousins, you know, after a fashion. you are my cousins, and they are my wife's, so you must be related." but sir john could not prevail. he could only obtain a promise of their calling at the park within a day or two, and then left them in amazement at their indifference, to walk home and boast anew of their attractions to the miss steeles, as he had been already boasting of the miss steeles to them. when their promised visit to the park and consequent introduction to these young ladies took place, they found in the appearance of the eldest, who was nearly thirty, with a very plain and not a sensible face, nothing to admire; but in the other, who was not more than two or three and twenty, they acknowledged considerable beauty; her features were pretty, and she had a sharp quick eye, and a smartness of air, which though it did not give actual elegance or grace, gave distinction to her person.-their manners were particularly civil, and elinor soon allowed them credit for some kind of sense, when she saw with what constant and judicious attention they were making themselves agreeable to lady middleton. with her children they were in continual raptures, extolling their beauty, courting their notice, and humouring their whims; and such of their time as could be spared from the importunate demands which this politeness made on it, was spent in admiration of whatever her ladyship was doing, if she happened to be doing any thing, or in taking patterns of some elegant new dress, in which her appearance the day before had thrown them into unceasing delight. fortunately for those who pay their court through such foibles, a fond mother, though, in pursuit of praise for her children, the most rapacious of human beings, is likewise the most credulous; her demands are exorbitant; but she will swallow any thing; and the excessive affection and endurance of the miss steeles towards her offspring were viewed therefore by lady middleton without the smallest surprise or distrust. she saw with maternal complacency all the impertinent encroachments and mischievous tricks to which her cousins submitted. she saw their sashes untied, their hair pulled about their ears, their work-bags searched, and their knives and scissors stolen away, and felt no doubt of its being a reciprocal enjoyment. it suggested no other surprise than that elinor and marianne should sit so composedly by, without claiming a share in what was passing. "john is in such spirits today!" said she, on his taking miss steeles's pocket handkerchief, and throwing it out of window--"he is full of monkey tricks." and soon afterwards, on the second boy's violently pinching one of the same lady's fingers, she fondly observed, "how playful william is!" "and here is my sweet little annamaria," she added, tenderly caressing a little girl of three years old, who had not made a noise for the last two minutes; "and she is always so gentle and quiet--never was there such a quiet little thing!" but unfortunately in bestowing these embraces, a pin in her ladyship's head dress slightly scratching the child's neck, produced from this pattern of gentleness such violent screams, as could hardly be outdone by any creature professedly noisy. the mother's consternation was excessive; but it could not surpass the alarm of the miss steeles, and every thing was done by all three, in so critical an emergency, which affection could suggest as likely to assuage the agonies of the little sufferer. she was seated in her mother's lap, covered with kisses, her wound bathed with lavender-water, by one of the miss steeles, who was on her knees to attend her, and her mouth stuffed with sugar plums by the other. with such a reward for her tears, the child was too wise to cease crying. she still screamed and sobbed lustily, kicked her two brothers for offering to touch her, and all their united soothings were ineffectual till lady middleton luckily remembering that in a scene of similar distress last week, some apricot marmalade had been successfully applied for a bruised temple, the same remedy was eagerly proposed for this unfortunate scratch, and a slight intermission of screams in the young lady on hearing it, gave them reason to hope that it would not be rejected.-she was carried out of the room therefore in her mother's arms, in quest of this medicine, and as the two boys chose to follow, though earnestly entreated by their mother to stay behind, the four young ladies were left in a quietness which the room had not known for many hours. "poor little creatures!" said miss steele, as soon as they were gone. "it might have been a very sad accident." "yet i hardly know how," cried marianne, "unless it had been under totally different circumstances. but this is the usual way of heightening alarm, where there is nothing to be alarmed at in reality." "what a sweet woman lady middleton is!" said lucy steele. marianne was silent; it was impossible for her to say what she did not feel, however trivial the occasion; and upon elinor therefore the whole task of telling lies when politeness required it, always fell. she did her best when thus called on, by speaking of lady middleton with more warmth than she felt, though with far less than miss lucy. "and sir john too," cried the elder sister, "what a charming man he is!" here too, miss dashwood's commendation, being only simple and just, came in without any eclat. she merely observed that he was perfectly good humoured and friendly. "and what a charming little family they have! i never saw such fine children in my life.--i declare i quite doat upon them already, and indeed i am always distractedly fond of children." "i should guess so," said elinor, with a smile, "from what i have witnessed this morning." "i have a notion," said lucy, "you think the little middletons rather too much indulged; perhaps they may be the outside of enough; but it is so natural in lady middleton; and for my part, i love to see children full of life and spirits; i cannot bear them if they are tame and quiet." "i confess," replied elinor, "that while i am at barton park, i never think of tame and quiet children with any abhorrence." a short pause succeeded this speech, which was first broken by miss steele, who seemed very much disposed for conversation, and who now said rather abruptly, "and how do you like devonshire, miss dashwood? i suppose you were very sorry to leave sussex." in some surprise at the familiarity of this question, or at least of the manner in which it was spoken, elinor replied that she was. "norland is a prodigious beautiful place, is not it?" added miss steele. "we have heard sir john admire it excessively," said lucy, who seemed to think some apology necessary for the freedom of her sister. "i think every one must admire it," replied elinor, "who ever saw the place; though it is not to be supposed that any one can estimate its beauties as we do." "and had you a great many smart beaux there? i suppose you have not so many in this part of the world; for my part, i think they are a vast addition always." "but why should you think," said lucy, looking ashamed of her sister, "that there are not as many genteel young men in devonshire as sussex?" "nay, my dear, i'm sure i don't pretend to say that there an't. i'm sure there's a vast many smart beaux in exeter; but you know, how could i tell what smart beaux there might be about norland; and i was only afraid the miss dashwoods might find it dull at barton, if they had not so many as they used to have. but perhaps you young ladies may not care about the beaux, and had as lief be without them as with them. for my part, i think they are vastly agreeable, provided they dress smart and behave civil. but i can't bear to see them dirty and nasty. now there's mr. rose at exeter, a prodigious smart young man, quite a beau, clerk to mr. simpson, you know, and yet if you do but meet him of a morning, he is not fit to be seen.-i suppose your brother was quite a beau, miss dashwood, before he married, as he was so rich?" "upon my word," replied elinor, "i cannot tell you, for i do not perfectly comprehend the meaning of the word. but this i can say, that if he ever was a beau before he married, he is one still for there is not the smallest alteration in him." "oh! dear! one never thinks of married men's being beaux--they have something else to do." "lord! anne," cried her sister, "you can talk of nothing but beaux;--you will make miss dashwood believe you think of nothing else." and then to turn the discourse, she began admiring the house and the furniture. this specimen of the miss steeles was enough. the vulgar freedom and folly of the eldest left her no recommendation, and as elinor was not blinded by the beauty, or the shrewd look of the youngest, to her want of real elegance and artlessness, she left the house without any wish of knowing them better. not so the miss steeles.--they came from exeter, well provided with admiration for the use of sir john middleton, his family, and all his relations, and no niggardly proportion was now dealt out to his fair cousins, whom they declared to be the most beautiful, elegant, accomplished, and agreeable girls they had ever beheld, and with whom they were particularly anxious to be better acquainted.-and to be better acquainted therefore, elinor soon found was their inevitable lot, for as sir john was entirely on the side of the miss steeles, their party would be too strong for opposition, and that kind of intimacy must be submitted to, which consists of sitting an hour or two together in the same room almost every day. sir john could do no more; but he did not know that any more was required: to be together was, in his opinion, to be intimate, and while his continual schemes for their meeting were effectual, he had not a doubt of their being established friends. to do him justice, he did every thing in his power to promote their unreserve, by making the miss steeles acquainted with whatever he knew or supposed of his cousins' situations in the most delicate particulars,--and elinor had not seen them more than twice, before the eldest of them wished her joy on her sister's having been so lucky as to make a conquest of a very smart beau since she came to barton. "'twill be a fine thing to have her married so young to be sure," said she, "and i hear he is quite a beau, and prodigious handsome. and i hope you may have as good luck yourself soon,--but perhaps you may have a friend in the corner already." elinor could not suppose that sir john would be more nice in proclaiming his suspicions of her regard for edward, than he had been with respect to marianne; indeed it was rather his favourite joke of the two, as being somewhat newer and more conjectural; and since edward's visit, they had never dined together without his drinking to her best affections with so much significancy and so many nods and winks, as to excite general attention. the letter f--had been likewise invariably brought forward, and found productive of such countless jokes, that its character as the wittiest letter in the alphabet had been long established with elinor. the miss steeles, as she expected, had now all the benefit of these jokes, and in the eldest of them they raised a curiosity to know the name of the gentleman alluded to, which, though often impertinently expressed, was perfectly of a piece with her general inquisitiveness into the concerns of their family. but sir john did not sport long with the curiosity which he delighted to raise, for he had at least as much pleasure in telling the name, as miss steele had in hearing it. "his name is ferrars," said he, in a very audible whisper; "but pray do not tell it, for it's a great secret." "ferrars!" repeated miss steele; "mr. ferrars is the happy man, is he? what! your sister-in-law's brother, miss dashwood? a very agreeable young man to be sure; i know him very well." "how can you say so, anne?" cried lucy, who generally made an amendment to all her sister's assertions. "though we have seen him once or twice at my uncle's, it is rather too much to pretend to know him very well." elinor heard all this with attention and surprise. "and who was this uncle? where did he live? how came they acquainted?" she wished very much to have the subject continued, though she did not chuse to join in it herself; but nothing more of it was said, and for the first time in her life, she thought mrs. jennings deficient either in curiosity after petty information, or in a disposition to communicate it. the manner in which miss steele had spoken of edward, increased her curiosity; for it struck her as being rather ill-natured, and suggested the suspicion of that lady's knowing, or fancying herself to know something to his disadvantage.--but her curiosity was unavailing, for no farther notice was taken of mr. ferrars's name by miss steele when alluded to, or even openly mentioned by sir john. chapter 22 marianne, who had never much toleration for any thing like impertinence, vulgarity, inferiority of parts, or even difference of taste from herself, was at this time particularly ill-disposed, from the state of her spirits, to be pleased with the miss steeles, or to encourage their advances; and to the invariable coldness of her behaviour towards them, which checked every endeavour at intimacy on their side, elinor principally attributed that preference of herself which soon became evident in the manners of both, but especially of lucy, who missed no opportunity of engaging her in conversation, or of striving to improve their acquaintance by an easy and frank communication of her sentiments. lucy was naturally clever; her remarks were often just and amusing; and as a companion for half an hour elinor frequently found her agreeable; but her powers had received no aid from education: she was ignorant and illiterate; and her deficiency of all mental improvement, her want of information in the most common particulars, could not be concealed from miss dashwood, in spite of her constant endeavour to appear to advantage. elinor saw, and pitied her for, the neglect of abilities which education might have rendered so respectable; but she saw, with less tenderness of feeling, the thorough want of delicacy, of rectitude, and integrity of mind, which her attentions, her assiduities, her flatteries at the park betrayed; and she could have no lasting satisfaction in the company of a person who joined insincerity with ignorance; whose want of instruction prevented their meeting in conversation on terms of equality, and whose conduct toward others made every shew of attention and deference towards herself perfectly valueless. "you will think my question an odd one, i dare say," said lucy to her one day, as they were walking together from the park to the cottage--"but pray, are you personally acquainted with your sister-in-law's mother, mrs. ferrars?" elinor did think the question a very odd one, and her countenance expressed it, as she answered that she had never seen mrs. ferrars. "indeed!" replied lucy; "i wonder at that, for i thought you must have seen her at norland sometimes. then, perhaps, you cannot tell me what sort of a woman she is?" "no," returned elinor, cautious of giving her real opinion of edward's mother, and not very desirous of satisfying what seemed impertinent curiosity-"i know nothing of her." "i am sure you think me very strange, for enquiring about her in such a way," said lucy, eyeing elinor attentively as she spoke; "but perhaps there may be reasons--i wish i might venture; but however i hope you will do me the justice of believing that i do not mean to be impertinent." elinor made her a civil reply, and they walked on for a few minutes in silence. it was broken by lucy, who renewed the subject again by saying, with some hesitation, "i cannot bear to have you think me impertinently curious. i am sure i would rather do any thing in the world than be thought so by a person whose good opinion is so well worth having as yours. and i am sure i should not have the smallest fear of trusting you; indeed, i should be very glad of your advice how to manage in such an uncomfortable situation as i am; but, however, there is no occasion to trouble you. i am sorry you do not happen to know mrs. ferrars." "i am sorry i do not," said elinor, in great astonishment, "if it could be of any use to you to know my opinion of her. but really i never understood that you were at all connected with that family, and therefore i am a little surprised, i confess, at so serious an inquiry into her character." "i dare say you are, and i am sure i do not at all wonder at it. but if i dared tell you all, you would not be so much surprised. mrs. ferrars is certainly nothing to me at present--but the time may come--how soon it will come must depend upon herself--when we may be very intimately connected." she looked down as she said this, amiably bashful, with only one side glance at her companion to observe its effect on her. "good heavens!" cried elinor, "what do you mean? are you acquainted with mr. robert ferrars? can you be?" and she did not feel much delighted with the idea of such a sister-in-law. "no," replied lucy, "not to mr. robert ferrars--i never saw him in my life; but," fixing her eyes upon elinor, "to his eldest brother." what felt elinor at that moment? astonishment, that would have been as painful as it was strong, had not an immediate disbelief of the assertion attended it. she turned towards lucy in silent amazement, unable to divine the reason or object of such a declaration; and though her complexion varied, she stood firm in incredulity, and felt in no danger of an hysterical fit, or a swoon. "you may well be surprised," continued lucy; "for to be sure you could have had no idea of it before; for i dare say he never dropped the smallest hint of it to you or any of your family; because it was always meant to be a great secret, and i am sure has been faithfully kept so by me to this hour. not a soul of all my relations know of it but anne, and i never should have mentioned it to you, if i had not felt the greatest dependence in the world upon your secrecy; and i really thought my behaviour in asking so many questions about mrs. ferrars must seem so odd, that it ought to be explained. and i do not think mr. ferrars can be displeased, when he knows i have trusted you, because i know he has the highest opinion in the world of all your family, and looks upon yourself and the other miss dashwoods quite as his own sisters."--she paused. elinor for a few moments remained silent. her astonishment at what she heard was at first too great for words; but at length forcing herself to speak, and to speak cautiously, she said, with calmness of manner, which tolerably well concealed her surprise and solicitude-"may i ask if your engagement is of long standing?" "we have been engaged these four years." "four years!" "yes." elinor, though greatly shocked, still felt unable to believe it. "i did not know," said she, "that you were even acquainted till the other day." "our acquaintance, however, is of many years date. he was under my uncle's care, you know, a considerable while." "your uncle!" "yes; mr. pratt. did you never hear him talk of mr. pratt?" "i think i have," replied elinor, with an exertion of spirits, which increased with her increase of emotion. "he was four years with my uncle, who lives at longstaple, near plymouth. it was there our acquaintance begun, for my sister and me was often staying with my uncle, and it was there our engagement was formed, though not till a year after he had quitted as a pupil; but he was almost always with us afterwards. i was very unwilling to enter into it, as you may imagine, without the knowledge and approbation of his mother; but i was too young, and loved him too well, to be so prudent as i ought to have been.-though you do not know him so well as me, miss dashwood, you must have seen enough of him to be sensible he is very capable of making a woman sincerely attached to him." "certainly," answered elinor, without knowing what she said; but after a moment's reflection, she added, with revived security of edward's honour and love, and her companion's falsehood--"engaged to mr. edward ferrars!--i confess myself so totally surprised at what you tell me, that really--i beg your pardon; but surely there must be some mistake of person or name. we cannot mean the same mr. ferrars." "we can mean no other," cried lucy, smiling. "mr. edward ferrars, the eldest son of mrs. ferrars, of park street, and brother of your sister-in-law, mrs. john dashwood, is the person i mean; you must allow that i am not likely to be deceived as to the name of the man on who all my happiness depends." "it is strange," replied elinor, in a most painful perplexity, "that i should never have heard him even mention your name." "no; considering our situation, it was not strange. our first care has been to keep the matter secret.-you knew nothing of me, or my family, and, therefore, there could be no occasion for ever mentioning my name to you; and, as he was always particularly afraid of his sister's suspecting any thing, that was reason enough for his not mentioning it." she was silent.--elinor's security sunk; but her self-command did not sink with it. "four years you have been engaged," said she with a firm voice. "yes; and heaven knows how much longer we may have to wait. poor edward! it puts him quite out of heart." then taking a small miniature from her pocket, she added, "to prevent the possibility of mistake, be so good as to look at this face. it does not do him justice, to be sure, but yet i think you cannot be deceived as to the person it was drew for.--i have had it above these three years." she put it into her hands as she spoke; and when elinor saw the painting, whatever other doubts her fear of a too hasty decision, or her wish of detecting falsehood might suffer to linger in her mind, she could have none of its being edward's face. she returned it almost instantly, acknowledging the likeness. "i have never been able," continued lucy, "to give him my picture in return, which i am very much vexed at, for he has been always so anxious to get it! but i am determined to set for it the very first opportunity." "you are quite in the right," replied elinor calmly. they then proceeded a few paces in silence. lucy spoke first. "i am sure," said she, "i have no doubt in the world of your faithfully keeping this secret, because you must know of what importance it is to us, not to have it reach his mother; for she would never approve of it, i dare say. i shall have no fortune, and i fancy she is an exceeding proud woman." "i certainly did not seek your confidence," said elinor; "but you do me no more than justice in imagining that i may be depended on. your secret is safe with me; but pardon me if i express some surprise at so unnecessary a communication. you must at least have felt that my being acquainted with it could not add to its safety." as she said this, she looked earnestly at lucy, hoping to discover something in her countenance; perhaps the falsehood of the greatest part of what she had been saying; but lucy's countenance suffered no change. "i was afraid you would think i was taking a great liberty with you," said she, "in telling you all this. i have not known you long to be sure, personally at least, but i have known you and all your family by description a great while; and as soon as i saw you, i felt almost as if you was an old acquaintance. besides in the present case, i really thought some explanation was due to you after my making such particular inquiries about edward's mother; and i am so unfortunate, that i have not a creature whose advice i can ask. anne is the only person that knows of it, and she has no judgment at all; indeed, she does me a great deal more harm than good, for i am in constant fear of her betraying me. she does not know how to hold her tongue, as you must perceive, and i am sure i was in the greatest fright in the world t'other day, when edward's name was mentioned by sir john, lest she should out with it all. you can't think how much i go through in my mind from it altogether. i only wonder that i am alive after what i have suffered for edward's sake these last four years. every thing in such suspense and uncertainty; and seeing him so seldom--we can hardly meet above twice a-year. i am sure i wonder my heart is not quite broke." here she took out her handkerchief; but elinor did not feel very compassionate. "sometimes." continued lucy, after wiping her eyes, "i think whether it would not be better for us both to break off the matter entirely." as she said this, she looked directly at her companion. "but then at other times i have not resolution enough for it.-i cannot bear the thoughts of making him so miserable, as i know the very mention of such a thing would do. and on my own account too--so dear as he is to me--i don't think i could be equal to it. what would you advise me to do in such a case, miss dashwood? what would you do yourself?" "pardon me," replied elinor, startled by the question; "but i can give you no advice under such circumstances. your own judgment must direct you." "to be sure," continued lucy, after a few minutes silence on both sides, "his mother must provide for him sometime or other; but poor edward is so cast down by it! did you not think him dreadful low-spirited when he was at barton? he was so miserable when he left us at longstaple, to go to you, that i was afraid you would think him quite ill." "did he come from your uncle's, then, when he visited us?" "oh, yes; he had been staying a fortnight with us. did you think he came directly from town?" "no," replied elinor, most feelingly sensible of every fresh circumstance in favour of lucy's veracity; "i remember he told us, that he had been staying a fortnight with some friends near plymouth." she remembered too, her own surprise at the time, at his mentioning nothing farther of those friends, at his total silence with respect even to their names. "did not you think him sadly out of spirits?" repeated lucy. "we did, indeed, particularly so when he first arrived." "i begged him to exert himself for fear you should suspect what was the matter; but it made him so melancholy, not being able to stay more than a fortnight with us, and seeing me so much affected.-poor fellow!--i am afraid it is just the same with him now; for he writes in wretched spirits. i heard from him just before i left exeter;" taking a letter from her pocket and carelessly showing the direction to elinor. "you know his hand, i dare say, a charming one it is; but that is not written so well as usual.--he was tired, i dare say, for he had just filled the sheet to me as full as possible." elinor saw that it was his hand, and she could doubt no longer. this picture, she had allowed herself to believe, might have been accidentally obtained; it might not have been edward's gift; but a correspondence between them by letter, could subsist only under a positive engagement, could be authorised by nothing else; for a few moments, she was almost overcome--her heart sunk within her, and she could hardly stand; but exertion was indispensably necessary; and she struggled so resolutely against the oppression of her feelings, that her success was speedy, and for the time complete. "writing to each other," said lucy, returning the letter into her pocket, "is the only comfort we have in such long separations. yes, i have one other comfort in his picture, but poor edward has not even that. if he had but my picture, he says he should be easy. i gave him a lock of my hair set in a ring when he was at longstaple last, and that was some comfort to him, he said, but not equal to a picture. perhaps you might notice the ring when you saw him?" "i did," said elinor, with a composure of voice, under which was concealed an emotion and distress beyond any thing she had ever felt before. she was mortified, shocked, confounded. fortunately for her, they had now reached the cottage, and the conversation could be continued no farther. after sitting with them a few minutes, the miss steeles returned to the park, and elinor was then at liberty to think and be wretched. [at this point in the first and second editions, volume 1 ends.] chapter 23 however small elinor's general dependence on lucy's veracity might be, it was impossible for her on serious reflection to suspect it in the present case, where no temptation could be answerable to the folly of inventing a falsehood of such a description. what lucy had asserted to be true, therefore, elinor could not, dared not longer doubt; supported as it was too on every side by such probabilities and proofs, and contradicted by nothing but her own wishes. their opportunity of acquaintance in the house of mr. pratt was a foundation for the rest, at once indisputable and alarming; and edward's visit near plymouth, his melancholy state of mind, his dissatisfaction at his own prospects, his uncertain behaviour towards herself, the intimate knowledge of the miss steeles as to norland and their family connections, which had often surprised her, the picture, the letter, the ring, formed altogether such a body of evidence, as overcame every fear of condemning him unfairly, and established as a fact, which no partiality could set aside, his ill-treatment of herself.--her resentment of such behaviour, her indignation at having been its dupe, for a short time made her feel only for herself; but other ideas, other considerations, soon arose. had edward been intentionally deceiving her? had he feigned a regard for her which he did not feel? was his engagement to lucy an engagement of the heart? no; whatever it might once have been, she could not believe it such at present. his affection was all her own. she could not be deceived in that. her mother, sisters, fanny, all had been conscious of his regard for her at norland; it was not an illusion of her own vanity. he certainly loved her. what a softener of the heart was this persuasion! how much could it not tempt her to forgive! he had been blamable, highly blamable, in remaining at norland after he first felt her influence over him to be more than it ought to be. in that, he could not be defended; but if he had injured her, how much more had he injured himself; if her case were pitiable, his was hopeless. his imprudence had made her miserable for a while; but it seemed to have deprived himself of all chance of ever being otherwise. she might in time regain tranquillity; but he, what had he to look forward to? could he ever be tolerably happy with lucy steele; could he, were his affection for herself out of the question, with his integrity, his delicacy, and well-informed mind, be satisfied with a wife like her--illiterate, artful, and selfish? the youthful infatuation of nineteen would naturally blind him to every thing but her beauty and good nature; but the four succeeding years--years, which if rationally spent, give such improvement to the understanding, must have opened his eyes to her defects of education, while the same period of time, spent on her side in inferior society and more frivolous pursuits, had perhaps robbed her of that simplicity which might once have given an interesting character to her beauty. if in the supposition of his seeking to marry herself, his difficulties from his mother had seemed great, how much greater were they now likely to be, when the object of his engagement was undoubtedly inferior in connections, and probably inferior in fortune to herself. these difficulties, indeed, with a heart so alienated from lucy, might not press very hard upon his patience; but melancholy was the state of the person by whom the expectation of family opposition and unkindness, could be felt as a relief! as these considerations occurred to her in painful succession, she wept for him, more than for herself. supported by the conviction of having done nothing to merit her present unhappiness, and consoled by the belief that edward had done nothing to forfeit her esteem, she thought she could even now, under the first smart of the heavy blow, command herself enough to guard every suspicion of the truth from her mother and sisters. and so well was she able to answer her own expectations, that when she joined them at dinner only two hours after she had first suffered the extinction of all her dearest hopes, no one would have supposed from the appearance of the sisters, that elinor was mourning in secret over obstacles which must divide her for ever from the object of her love, and that marianne was internally dwelling on the perfections of a man, of whose whole heart she felt thoroughly possessed, and whom she expected to see in every carriage which drove near their house. the necessity of concealing from her mother and marianne, what had been entrusted in confidence to herself, though it obliged her to unceasing exertion, was no aggravation of elinor's distress. on the contrary it was a relief to her, to be spared the communication of what would give such affliction to them, and to be saved likewise from hearing that condemnation of edward, which would probably flow from the excess of their partial affection for herself, and which was more than she felt equal to support. from their counsel, or their conversation, she knew she could receive no assistance, their tenderness and sorrow must add to her distress, while her self-command would neither receive encouragement from their example nor from their praise. she was stronger alone, and her own good sense so well supported her, that her firmness was as unshaken, her appearance of cheerfulness as invariable, as with regrets so poignant and so fresh, it was possible for them to be. much as she had suffered from her first conversation with lucy on the subject, she soon felt an earnest wish of renewing it; and this for more reasons than one. she wanted to hear many particulars of their engagement repeated again, she wanted more clearly to understand what lucy really felt for edward, whether there were any sincerity in her declaration of tender regard for him, and she particularly wanted to convince lucy, by her readiness to enter on the matter again, and her calmness in conversing on it, that she was no otherwise interested in it than as a friend, which she very much feared her involuntary agitation, in their morning discourse, must have left at least doubtful. that lucy was disposed to be jealous of her appeared very probable: it was plain that edward had always spoken highly in her praise, not merely from lucy's assertion, but from her venturing to trust her on so short a personal acquaintance, with a secret so confessedly and evidently important. and even sir john's joking intelligence must have had some weight. but indeed, while elinor remained so well assured within herself of being really beloved by edward, it required no other consideration of probabilities to make it natural that lucy should be jealous; and that she was so, her very confidence was a proof. what other reason for the disclosure of the affair could there be, but that elinor might be informed by it of lucy's superior claims on edward, and be taught to avoid him in future? she had little difficulty in understanding thus much of her rival's intentions, and while she was firmly resolved to act by her as every principle of honour and honesty directed, to combat her own affection for edward and to see him as little as possible; she could not deny herself the comfort of endeavouring to convince lucy that her heart was unwounded. and as she could now have nothing more painful to hear on the subject than had already been told, she did not mistrust her own ability of going through a repetition of particulars with composure. but it was not immediately that an opportunity of doing so could be commanded, though lucy was as well disposed as herself to take advantage of any that occurred; for the weather was not often fine enough to allow of their joining in a walk, where they might most easily separate themselves from the others; and though they met at least every other evening either at the park or cottage, and chiefly at the former, they could not be supposed to meet for the sake of conversation. such a thought would never enter either sir john or lady middleton's head; and therefore very little leisure was ever given for a general chat, and none at all for particular discourse. they met for the sake of eating, drinking, and laughing together, playing at cards, or consequences, or any other game that was sufficiently noisy. one or two meetings of this kind had taken place, without affording elinor any chance of engaging lucy in private, when sir john called at the cottage one morning, to beg, in the name of charity, that they would all dine with lady middleton that day, as he was obliged to attend the club at exeter, and she would otherwise be quite alone, except her mother and the two miss steeles. elinor, who foresaw a fairer opening for the point she had in view, in such a party as this was likely to be, more at liberty among themselves under the tranquil and well-bred direction of lady middleton than when her husband united them together in one noisy purpose, immediately accepted the invitation; margaret, with her mother's permission, was equally compliant, and marianne, though always unwilling to join any of their parties, was persuaded by her mother, who could not bear to have her seclude herself from any chance of amusement, to go likewise. the young ladies went, and lady middleton was happily preserved from the frightful solitude which had threatened her. the insipidity of the meeting was exactly such as elinor had expected; it produced not one novelty of thought or expression, and nothing could be less interesting than the whole of their discourse both in the dining parlour and drawing room: to the latter, the children accompanied them, and while they remained there, she was too well convinced of the impossibility of engaging lucy's attention to attempt it. they quitted it only with the removal of the tea-things. the card-table was then placed, and elinor began to wonder at herself for having ever entertained a hope of finding time for conversation at the park. they all rose up in preparation for a round game. "i am glad," said lady middleton to lucy, "you are not going to finish poor little annamaria's basket this evening; for i am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight. and we will make the dear little love some amends for her disappointment to-morrow, and then i hope she will not much mind it." this hint was enough, lucy recollected herself instantly and replied, "indeed you are very much mistaken, lady middleton; i am only waiting to know whether you can make your party without me, or i should have been at my filigree already. i would not disappoint the little angel for all the world: and if you want me at the card-table now, i am resolved to finish the basket after supper." "you are very good, i hope it won't hurt your eyes--will you ring the bell for some working candles? my poor little girl would be sadly disappointed, i know, if the basket was not finished tomorrow, for though i told her it certainly would not, i am sure she depends upon having it done." lucy directly drew her work table near her and reseated herself with an alacrity and cheerfulness which seemed to infer that she could taste no greater delight than in making a filigree basket for a spoilt child. lady middleton proposed a rubber of casino to the others. no one made any objection but marianne, who with her usual inattention to the forms of general civility, exclaimed, "your ladyship will have the goodness to excuse me--you know i detest cards. i shall go to the piano-forte; i have not touched it since it was tuned." and without farther ceremony, she turned away and walked to the instrument. lady middleton looked as if she thanked heaven that she had never made so rude a speech. "marianne can never keep long from that instrument you know, ma'am," said elinor, endeavouring to smooth away the offence; "and i do not much wonder at it; for it is the very best toned piano-forte i ever heard." the remaining five were now to draw their cards. "perhaps," continued elinor, "if i should happen to cut out, i may be of some use to miss lucy steele, in rolling her papers for her; and there is so much still to be done to the basket, that it must be impossible i think for her labour singly, to finish it this evening. i should like the work exceedingly, if she would allow me a share in it." "indeed i shall be very much obliged to you for your help," cried lucy, "for i find there is more to be done to it than i thought there was; and it would be a shocking thing to disappoint dear annamaria after all." "oh! that would be terrible, indeed," said miss steele-"dear little soul, how i do love her!" "you are very kind," said lady middleton to elinor; "and as you really like the work, perhaps you will be as well pleased not to cut in till another rubber, or will you take your chance now?" elinor joyfully profited by the first of these proposals, and thus by a little of that address which marianne could never condescend to practise, gained her own end, and pleased lady middleton at the same time. lucy made room for her with ready attention, and the two fair rivals were thus seated side by side at the same table, and, with the utmost harmony, engaged in forwarding the same work. the pianoforte at which marianne, wrapped up in her own music and her own thoughts, had by this time forgotten that any body was in the room besides herself, was luckily so near them that miss dashwood now judged she might safely, under the shelter of its noise, introduce the interesting subject, without any risk of being heard at the card-table. chapter 24 in a firm, though cautious tone, elinor thus began. "i should be undeserving of the confidence you have honoured me with, if i felt no desire for its continuance, or no farther curiosity on its subject. i will not apologize therefore for bringing it forward again." "thank you," cried lucy warmly, "for breaking the ice; you have set my heart at ease by it; for i was somehow or other afraid i had offended you by what i told you that monday." "offended me! how could you suppose so? believe me," and elinor spoke it with the truest sincerity, "nothing could be farther from my intention than to give you such an idea. could you have a motive for the trust, that was not honourable and flattering to me?" "and yet i do assure you," replied lucy, her little sharp eyes full of meaning, "there seemed to me to be a coldness and displeasure in your manner that made me quite uncomfortable. i felt sure that you was angry with me; and have been quarrelling with myself ever since, for having took such a liberty as to trouble you with my affairs. but i am very glad to find it was only my own fancy, and that you really do not blame me. if you knew what a consolation it was to me to relieve my heart speaking to you of what i am always thinking of every moment of my life, your compassion would make you overlook every thing else i am sure." "indeed, i can easily believe that it was a very great relief to you, to acknowledge your situation to me, and be assured that you shall never have reason to repent it. your case is a very unfortunate one; you seem to me to be surrounded with difficulties, and you will have need of all your mutual affection to support you under them. mr. ferrars, i believe, is entirely dependent on his mother." "he has only two thousand pounds of his own; it would be madness to marry upon that, though for my own part, i could give up every prospect of more without a sigh. i have been always used to a very small income, and could struggle with any poverty for him; but i love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him, perhaps, of all that his mother might give him if he married to please her. we must wait, it may be for many years. with almost every other man in the world, it would be an alarming prospect; but edward's affection and constancy nothing can deprive me of i know." "that conviction must be every thing to you; and he is undoubtedly supported by the same trust in your's. if the strength of your reciprocal attachment had failed, as between many people, and under many circumstances it naturally would during a four years' engagement, your situation would have been pitiable, indeed." lucy here looked up; but elinor was careful in guarding her countenance from every expression that could give her words a suspicious tendency. "edward's love for me," said lucy, "has been pretty well put to the test, by our long, very long absence since we were first engaged, and it has stood the trial so well, that i should be unpardonable to doubt it now. i can safely say that he has never gave me one moment's alarm on that account from the first." elinor hardly knew whether to smile or sigh at this assertion. lucy went on. "i am rather of a jealous temper too by nature, and from our different situations in life, from his being so much more in the world than me, and our continual separation, i was enough inclined for suspicion, to have found out the truth in an instant, if there had been the slightest alteration in his behaviour to me when we met, or any lowness of spirits that i could not account for, or if he had talked more of one lady than another, or seemed in any respect less happy at longstaple than he used to be. i do not mean to say that i am particularly observant or quick-sighted in general, but in such a case i am sure i could not be deceived." "all this," thought elinor, "is very pretty; but it can impose upon neither of us." "but what," said she after a short silence, "are your views? or have you none but that of waiting for mrs. ferrars's death, which is a melancholy and shocking extremity?--is her son determined to submit to this, and to all the tediousness of the many years of suspense in which it may involve you, rather than run the risk of her displeasure for a while by owning the truth?" "if we could be certain that it would be only for a while! but mrs. ferrars is a very headstrong proud woman, and in her first fit of anger upon hearing it, would very likely secure every thing to robert, and the idea of that, for edward's sake, frightens away all my inclination for hasty measures." "and for your own sake too, or you are carrying your disinterestedness beyond reason." lucy looked at elinor again, and was silent. "do you know mr. robert ferrars?" asked elinor. "not at all--i never saw him; but i fancy he is very unlike his brother--silly and a great coxcomb." "a great coxcomb!" repeated miss steele, whose ear had caught those words by a sudden pause in marianne's music.-"oh, they are talking of their favourite beaux, i dare say." "no sister," cried lucy, "you are mistaken there, our favourite beaux are not great coxcombs." "i can answer for it that miss dashwood's is not," said mrs. jennings, laughing heartily; "for he is one of the modestest, prettiest behaved young men i ever saw; but as for lucy, she is such a sly little creature, there is no finding out who she likes." "oh," cried miss steele, looking significantly round at them, "i dare say lucy's beau is quite as modest and pretty behaved as miss dashwood's." elinor blushed in spite of herself. lucy bit her lip, and looked angrily at her sister. a mutual silence took place for some time. lucy first put an end to it by saying in a lower tone, though marianne was then giving them the powerful protection of a very magnificent concerto-"i will honestly tell you of one scheme which has lately come into my head, for bringing matters to bear; indeed i am bound to let you into the secret, for you are a party concerned. i dare say you have seen enough of edward to know that he would prefer the church to every other profession; now my plan is that he should take orders as soon as he can, and then through your interest, which i am sure you would be kind enough to use out of friendship for him, and i hope out of some regard to me, your brother might be persuaded to give him norland living; which i understand is a very good one, and the present incumbent not likely to live a great while. that would be enough for us to marry upon, and we might trust to time and chance for the rest." "i should always be happy," replied elinor, "to show any mark of my esteem and friendship for mr. ferrars; but do you not perceive that my interest on such an occasion would be perfectly unnecessary? he is brother to mrs. john dashwood--that must be recommendation enough to her husband." "but mrs. john dashwood would not much approve of edward's going into orders." "then i rather suspect that my interest would do very little." they were again silent for many minutes. at length lucy exclaimed with a deep sigh, "i believe it would be the wisest way to put an end to the business at once by dissolving the engagement. we seem so beset with difficulties on every side, that though it would make us miserable for a time, we should be happier perhaps in the end. but you will not give me your advice, miss dashwood?" "no," answered elinor, with a smile, which concealed very agitated feelings, "on such a subject i certainly will not. you know very well that my opinion would have no weight with you, unless it were on the side of your wishes." "indeed you wrong me," replied lucy, with great solemnity; "i know nobody of whose judgment i think so highly as i do of yours; and i do really believe, that if you was to say to me, 'i advise you by all means to put an end to your engagement with edward ferrars, it will be more for the happiness of both of you,' i should resolve upon doing it immediately." elinor blushed for the insincerity of edward's future wife, and replied, "this compliment would effectually frighten me from giving any opinion on the subject had i formed one. it raises my influence much too high; the power of dividing two people so tenderly attached is too much for an indifferent person." "'tis because you are an indifferent person," said lucy, with some pique, and laying a particular stress on those words, "that your judgment might justly have such weight with me. if you could be supposed to be biased in any respect by your own feelings, your opinion would not be worth having." elinor thought it wisest to make no answer to this, lest they might provoke each other to an unsuitable increase of ease and unreserve; and was even partly determined never to mention the subject again. another pause therefore of many minutes' duration, succeeded this speech, and lucy was still the first to end it. "shall you be in town this winter, miss dashwood?" said she with all her accustomary complacency. "certainly not." "i am sorry for that," returned the other, while her eyes brightened at the information, "it would have gave me such pleasure to meet you there! but i dare say you will go for all that. to be sure, your brother and sister will ask you to come to them." "it will not be in my power to accept their invitation if they do." "how unlucky that is! i had quite depended upon meeting you there. anne and me are to go the latter end of january to some relations who have been wanting us to visit them these several years! but i only go for the sake of seeing edward. he will be there in february, otherwise london would have no charms for me; i have not spirits for it." elinor was soon called to the card-table by the conclusion of the first rubber, and the confidential discourse of the two ladies was therefore at an end, to which both of them submitted without any reluctance, for nothing had been said on either side to make them dislike each other less than they had done before; and elinor sat down to the card table with the melancholy persuasion that edward was not only without affection for the person who was to be his wife; but that he had not even the chance of being tolerably happy in marriage, which sincere affection on her side would have given, for self-interest alone could induce a woman to keep a man to an engagement, of which she seemed so thoroughly aware that he was weary. from this time the subject was never revived by elinor, and when entered on by lucy, who seldom missed an opportunity of introducing it, and was particularly careful to inform her confidante, of her happiness whenever she received a letter from edward, it was treated by the former with calmness and caution, and dismissed as soon as civility would allow; for she felt such conversations to be an indulgence which lucy did not deserve, and which were dangerous to herself. the visit of the miss steeles at barton park was lengthened far beyond what the first invitation implied. their favour increased; they could not be spared; sir john would not hear of their going; and in spite of their numerous and long arranged engagements in exeter, in spite of the absolute necessity of returning to fulfill them immediately, which was in full force at the end of every week, they were prevailed on to stay nearly two months at the park, and to assist in the due celebration of that festival which requires a more than ordinary share of private balls and large dinners to proclaim its importance. chapter 25 though mrs. jennings was in the habit of spending a large portion of the year at the houses of her children and friends, she was not without a settled habitation of her own. since the death of her husband, who had traded with success in a less elegant part of the town, she had resided every winter in a house in one of the streets near portman square. towards this home, she began on the approach of january to turn her thoughts, and thither she one day abruptly, and very unexpectedly by them, asked the elder misses dashwood to accompany her. elinor, without observing the varying complexion of her sister, and the animated look which spoke no indifference to the plan, immediately gave a grateful but absolute denial for both, in which she believed herself to be speaking their united inclinations. the reason alleged was their determined resolution of not leaving their mother at that time of the year. mrs. jennings received the refusal with some surprise, and repeated her invitation immediately. "oh, lord! i am sure your mother can spare you very well, and i do beg you will favour me with your company, for i've quite set my heart upon it. don't fancy that you will be any inconvenience to me, for i shan't put myself at all out of my way for you. it will only be sending betty by the coach, and i hope i can afford that. we three shall be able to go very well in my chaise; and when we are in town, if you do not like to go wherever i do, well and good, you may always go with one of my daughters. i am sure your mother will not object to it; for i have had such good luck in getting my own children off my hands that she will think me a very fit person to have the charge of you; and if i don't get one of you at least well married before i have done with you, it shall not be my fault. i shall speak a good word for you to all the young men, you may depend upon it." "i have a notion," said sir john, "that miss marianne would not object to such a scheme, if her elder sister would come into it. it is very hard indeed that she should not have a little pleasure, because miss dashwood does not wish it. so i would advise you two, to set off for town, when you are tired of barton, without saying a word to miss dashwood about it." "nay," cried mrs. jennings, "i am sure i shall be monstrous glad of miss marianne's company, whether miss dashwood will go or not, only the more the merrier say i, and i thought it would be more comfortable for them to be together; because, if they got tired of me, they might talk to one another, and laugh at my old ways behind my back. but one or the other, if not both of them, i must have. lord bless me! how do you think i can live poking by myself, i who have been always used till this winter to have charlotte with me. come, miss marianne, let us strike hands upon the bargain, and if miss dashwood will change her mind by and bye, why so much the better." "i thank you, ma'am, sincerely thank you," said marianne, with warmth: "your invitation has insured my gratitude for ever, and it would give me such happiness, yes, almost the greatest happiness i am capable of, to be able to accept it. but my mother, my dearest, kindest mother,--i feel the justice of what elinor has urged, and if she were to be made less happy, less comfortable by our absence--oh! no, nothing should tempt me to leave her. it should not, must not be a struggle." mrs. jennings repeated her assurance that mrs. dashwood could spare them perfectly well; and elinor, who now understood her sister, and saw to what indifference to almost every thing else she was carried by her eagerness to be with willoughby again, made no farther direct opposition to the plan, and merely referred it to her mother's decision, from whom however she scarcely expected to receive any support in her endeavour to prevent a visit, which she could not approve of for marianne, and which on her own account she had particular reasons to avoid. whatever marianne was desirous of, her mother would be eager to promote--she could not expect to influence the latter to cautiousness of conduct in an affair respecting which she had never been able to inspire her with distrust; and she dared not explain the motive of her own disinclination for going to london. that marianne, fastidious as she was, thoroughly acquainted with mrs. jennings' manners, and invariably disgusted by them, should overlook every inconvenience of that kind, should disregard whatever must be most wounding to her irritable feelings, in her pursuit of one object, was such a proof, so strong, so full, of the importance of that object to her, as elinor, in spite of all that had passed, was not prepared to witness. on being informed of the invitation, mrs. dashwood, persuaded that such an excursion would be productive of much amusement to both her daughters, and perceiving through all her affectionate attention to herself, how much the heart of marianne was in it, would not hear of their declining the offer upon her account; insisted on their both accepting it directly; and then began to foresee, with her usual cheerfulness, a variety of advantages that would accrue to them all, from this separation. "i am delighted with the plan," she cried, "it is exactly what i could wish. margaret and i shall be as much benefited by it as yourselves. when you and the middletons are gone, we shall go on so quietly and happily together with our books and our music! you will find margaret so improved when you come back again! i have a little plan of alteration for your bedrooms too, which may now be performed without any inconvenience to any one. it is very right that you should go to town; i would have every young woman of your condition in life acquainted with the manners and amusements of london. you will be under the care of a motherly good sort of woman, of whose kindness to you i can have no doubt. and in all probability you will see your brother, and whatever may be his faults, or the faults of his wife, when i consider whose son he is, i cannot bear to have you so wholly estranged from each other." "though with your usual anxiety for our happiness," said elinor, "you have been obviating every impediment to the present scheme which occurred to you, there is still one objection which, in my opinion, cannot be so easily removed." marianne's countenance sunk. "and what," said mrs. dashwood, "is my dear prudent elinor going to suggest? what formidable obstacle is she now to bring forward? do let me hear a word about the expense of it." "my objection is this; though i think very well of mrs. jennings's heart, she is not a woman whose society can afford us pleasure, or whose protection will give us consequence." "that is very true," replied her mother, "but of her society, separately from that of other people, you will scarcely have any thing at all, and you will almost always appear in public with lady middleton." "if elinor is frightened away by her dislike of mrs. jennings," said marianne, "at least it need not prevent my accepting her invitation. i have no such scruples, and i am sure i could put up with every unpleasantness of that kind with very little effort." elinor could not help smiling at this display of indifference towards the manners of a person, to whom she had often had difficulty in persuading marianne to behave with tolerable politeness; and resolved within herself, that if her sister persisted in going, she would go likewise, as she did not think it proper that marianne should be left to the sole guidance of her own judgment, or that mrs. jennings should be abandoned to the mercy of marianne for all the comfort of her domestic hours. to this determination she was the more easily reconciled, by recollecting that edward ferrars, by lucy's account, was not to be in town before february; and that their visit, without any unreasonable abridgement, might be previously finished. "i will have you both go," said mrs. dashwood; "these objections are nonsensical. you will have much pleasure in being in london, and especially in being together; and if elinor would ever condescend to anticipate enjoyment, she would foresee it there from a variety of sources; she would, perhaps, expect some from improving her acquaintance with her sister-in-law's family." elinor had often wished for an opportunity of attempting to weaken her mother's dependence on the attachment of edward and herself, that the shock might be less when the whole truth were revealed, and now on this attack, though almost hopeless of success, she forced herself to begin her design by saying, as calmly as she could, "i like edward ferrars very much, and shall always be glad to see him; but as to the rest of the family, it is a matter of perfect indifference to me, whether i am ever known to them or not." mrs. dashwood smiled, and said nothing. marianne lifted up her eyes in astonishment, and elinor conjectured that she might as well have held her tongue. after very little farther discourse, it was finally settled that the invitation should be fully accepted. mrs. jennings received the information with a great deal of joy, and many assurances of kindness and care; nor was it a matter of pleasure merely to her. sir john was delighted; for to a man, whose prevailing anxiety was the dread of being alone, the acquisition of two, to the number of inhabitants in london, was something. even lady middleton took the trouble of being delighted, which was putting herself rather out of her way; and as for the miss steeles, especially lucy, they had never been so happy in their lives as this intelligence made them. elinor submitted to the arrangement which counteracted her wishes with less reluctance than she had expected to feel. with regard to herself, it was now a matter of unconcern whether she went to town or not, and when she saw her mother so thoroughly pleased with the plan, and her sister exhilarated by it in look, voice, and manner, restored to all her usual animation, and elevated to more than her usual gaiety, she could not be dissatisfied with the cause, and would hardly allow herself to distrust the consequence. marianne's joy was almost a degree beyond happiness, so great was the perturbation of her spirits and her impatience to be gone. her unwillingness to quit her mother was her only restorative to calmness; and at the moment of parting her grief on that score was excessive. her mother's affliction was hardly less, and elinor was the only one of the three, who seemed to consider the separation as any thing short of eternal. their departure took place in the first week in january. the middletons were to follow in about a week. the miss steeles kept their station at the park, and were to quit it only with the rest of the family. chapter 26 elinor could not find herself in the carriage with mrs. jennings, and beginning a journey to london under her protection, and as her guest, without wondering at her own situation, so short had their acquaintance with that lady been, so wholly unsuited were they in age and disposition, and so many had been her objections against such a measure only a few days before! but these objections had all, with that happy ardour of youth which marianne and her mother equally shared, been overcome or overlooked; and elinor, in spite of every occasional doubt of willoughby's constancy, could not witness the rapture of delightful expectation which filled the whole soul and beamed in the eyes of marianne, without feeling how blank was her own prospect, how cheerless her own state of mind in the comparison, and how gladly she would engage in the solicitude of marianne's situation to have the same animating object in view, the same possibility of hope. a short, a very short time however must now decide what willoughby's intentions were; in all probability he was already in town. marianne's eagerness to be gone declared her dependence on finding him there; and elinor was resolved not only upon gaining every new light as to his character which her own observation or the intelligence of others could give her, but likewise upon watching his behaviour to her sister with such zealous attention, as to ascertain what he was and what he meant, before many meetings had taken place. should the result of her observations be unfavourable, she was determined at all events to open the eyes of her sister; should it be otherwise, her exertions would be of a different nature--she must then learn to avoid every selfish comparison, and banish every regret which might lessen her satisfaction in the happiness of marianne. they were three days on their journey, and marianne's behaviour as they travelled was a happy specimen of what future complaisance and companionableness to mrs. jennings might be expected to be. she sat in silence almost all the way, wrapt in her own meditations, and scarcely ever voluntarily speaking, except when any object of picturesque beauty within their view drew from her an exclamation of delight exclusively addressed to her sister. to atone for this conduct therefore, elinor took immediate possession of the post of civility which she had assigned herself, behaved with the greatest attention to mrs. jennings, talked with her, laughed with her, and listened to her whenever she could; and mrs. jennings on her side treated them both with all possible kindness, was solicitous on every occasion for their ease and enjoyment, and only disturbed that she could not make them choose their own dinners at the inn, nor extort a confession of their preferring salmon to cod, or boiled fowls to veal cutlets. they reached town by three o'clock the third day, glad to be released, after such a journey, from the confinement of a carriage, and ready to enjoy all the luxury of a good fire. the house was handsome, and handsomely fitted up, and the young ladies were immediately put in possession of a very comfortable apartment. it had formerly been charlotte's, and over the mantelpiece still hung a landscape in coloured silks of her performance, in proof of her having spent seven years at a great school in town to some effect. as dinner was not to be ready in less than two hours from their arrival, elinor determined to employ the interval in writing to her mother, and sat down for that purpose. in a few moments marianne did the same. "i am writing home, marianne," said elinor; "had not you better defer your letter for a day or two?" "i am not going to write to my mother," replied marianne, hastily, and as if wishing to avoid any farther inquiry. elinor said no more; it immediately struck her that she must then be writing to willoughby; and the conclusion which as instantly followed was, that, however mysteriously they might wish to conduct the affair, they must be engaged. this conviction, though not entirely satisfactory, gave her pleasure, and she continued her letter with greater alacrity. marianne's was finished in a very few minutes; in length it could be no more than a note; it was then folded up, sealed, and directed with eager rapidity. elinor thought she could distinguish a large w in the direction; and no sooner was it complete than marianne, ringing the bell, requested the footman who answered it to get that letter conveyed for her to the two-penny post. this decided the matter at once. her spirits still continued very high; but there was a flutter in them which prevented their giving much pleasure to her sister, and this agitation increased as the evening drew on. she could scarcely eat any dinner, and when they afterwards returned to the drawing room, seemed anxiously listening to the sound of every carriage. it was a great satisfaction to elinor that mrs. jennings, by being much engaged in her own room, could see little of what was passing. the tea things were brought in, and already had marianne been disappointed more than once by a rap at a neighbouring door, when a loud one was suddenly heard which could not be mistaken for one at any other house, elinor felt secure of its announcing willoughby's approach, and marianne, starting up, moved towards the door. every thing was silent; this could not be borne many seconds; she opened the door, advanced a few steps towards the stairs, and after listening half a minute, returned into the room in all the agitation which a conviction of having heard him would naturally produce; in the ecstasy of her feelings at that instant she could not help exclaiming, "oh, elinor, it is willoughby, indeed it is!" and seemed almost ready to throw herself into his arms, when colonel brandon appeared. it was too great a shock to be borne with calmness, and she immediately left the room. elinor was disappointed too; but at the same time her regard for colonel brandon ensured his welcome with her; and she felt particularly hurt that a man so partial to her sister should perceive that she experienced nothing but grief and disappointment in seeing him. she instantly saw that it was not unnoticed by him, that he even observed marianne as she quitted the room, with such astonishment and concern, as hardly left him the recollection of what civility demanded towards herself. "is your sister ill?" said he. elinor answered in some distress that she was, and then talked of head-aches, low spirits, and over fatigues; and of every thing to which she could decently attribute her sister's behaviour. he heard her with the most earnest attention, but seeming to recollect himself, said no more on the subject, and began directly to speak of his pleasure at seeing them in london, making the usual inquiries about their journey, and the friends they had left behind. in this calm kind of way, with very little interest on either side, they continued to talk, both of them out of spirits, and the thoughts of both engaged elsewhere. elinor wished very much to ask whether willoughby were then in town, but she was afraid of giving him pain by any enquiry after his rival; and at length, by way of saying something, she asked if he had been in london ever since she had seen him last. "yes," he replied, with some embarrassment, "almost ever since; i have been once or twice at delaford for a few days, but it has never been in my power to return to barton." this, and the manner in which it was said, immediately brought back to her remembrance all the circumstances of his quitting that place, with the uneasiness and suspicions they had caused to mrs. jennings, and she was fearful that her question had implied much more curiosity on the subject than she had ever felt. mrs. jennings soon came in. "oh! colonel," said she, with her usual noisy cheerfulness, "i am monstrous glad to see you--sorry i could not come before--beg your pardon, but i have been forced to look about me a little, and settle my matters; for it is a long while since i have been at home, and you know one has always a world of little odd things to do after one has been away for any time; and then i have had cartwright to settle with-lord, i have been as busy as a bee ever since dinner! but pray, colonel, how came you to conjure out that i should be in town today?" "i had the pleasure of hearing it at mr. palmer's, where i have been dining." "oh, you did; well, and how do they all do at their house? how does charlotte do? i warrant you she is a fine size by this time." "mrs. palmer appeared quite well, and i am commissioned to tell you, that you will certainly see her to-morrow." "ay, to be sure, i thought as much. well, colonel, i have brought two young ladies with me, you see--that is, you see but one of them now, but there is another somewhere. your friend, miss marianne, too--which you will not be sorry to hear. i do not know what you and mr. willoughby will do between you about her. ay, it is a fine thing to be young and handsome. well! i was young once, but i never was very handsome--worse luck for me. however, i got a very good husband, and i don't know what the greatest beauty can do more. ah! poor man! he has been dead these eight years and better. but colonel, where have you been to since we parted? and how does your business go on? come, come, let's have no secrets among friends." he replied with his accustomary mildness to all her inquiries, but without satisfying her in any. elinor now began to make the tea, and marianne was obliged to appear again. after her entrance, colonel brandon became more thoughtful and silent than he had been before, and mrs. jennings could not prevail on him to stay long. no other visitor appeared that evening, and the ladies were unanimous in agreeing to go early to bed. marianne rose the next morning with recovered spirits and happy looks. the disappointment of the evening before seemed forgotten in the expectation of what was to happen that day. they had not long finished their breakfast before mrs. palmer's barouche stopped at the door, and in a few minutes she came laughing into the room: so delighted to see them all, that it was hard to say whether she received most pleasure from meeting her mother or the miss dashwoods again. so surprised at their coming to town, though it was what she had rather expected all along; so angry at their accepting her mother's invitation after having declined her own, though at the same time she would never have forgiven them if they had not come! "mr. palmer will be so happy to see you," said she; "what do you think he said when he heard of your coming with mama? i forget what it was now, but it was something so droll!" after an hour or two spent in what her mother called comfortable chat, or in other words, in every variety of inquiry concerning all their acquaintance on mrs. jennings's side, and in laughter without cause on mrs. palmer's, it was proposed by the latter that they should all accompany her to some shops where she had business that morning, to which mrs. jennings and elinor readily consented, as having likewise some purchases to make themselves; and marianne, though declining it at first was induced to go likewise. wherever they went, she was evidently always on the watch. in bond street especially, where much of their business lay, her eyes were in constant inquiry; and in whatever shop the party were engaged, her mind was equally abstracted from every thing actually before them, from all that interested and occupied the others. restless and dissatisfied every where, her sister could never obtain her opinion of any article of purchase, however it might equally concern them both: she received no pleasure from anything; was only impatient to be at home again, and could with difficulty govern her vexation at the tediousness of mrs. palmer, whose eye was caught by every thing pretty, expensive, or new; who was wild to buy all, could determine on none, and dawdled away her time in rapture and indecision. it was late in the morning before they returned home; and no sooner had they entered the house than marianne flew eagerly up stairs, and when elinor followed, she found her turning from the table with a sorrowful countenance, which declared that no willoughby had been there. "has no letter been left here for me since we went out?" said she to the footman who then entered with the parcels. she was answered in the negative. "are you quite sure of it?" she replied. "are you certain that no servant, no porter has left any letter or note?" the man replied that none had. "how very odd!" said she, in a low and disappointed voice, as she turned away to the window. "how odd, indeed!" repeated elinor within herself, regarding her sister with uneasiness. "if she had not known him to be in town she would not have written to him, as she did; she would have written to combe magna; and if he is in town, how odd that he should neither come nor write! oh! my dear mother, you must be wrong in permitting an engagement between a daughter so young, a man so little known, to be carried on in so doubtful, so mysterious a manner! i long to inquire; and how will my interference be borne." she determined, after some consideration, that if appearances continued many days longer as unpleasant as they now were, she would represent in the strongest manner to her mother the necessity of some serious enquiry into the affair. mrs. palmer and two elderly ladies of mrs. jennings's intimate acquaintance, whom she had met and invited in the morning, dined with them. the former left them soon after tea to fulfill her evening engagements; and elinor was obliged to assist in making a whist table for the others. marianne was of no use on these occasions, as she would never learn the game; but though her time was therefore at her own disposal, the evening was by no means more productive of pleasure to her than to elinor, for it was spent in all the anxiety of expectation and the pain of disappointment. she sometimes endeavoured for a few minutes to read; but the book was soon thrown aside, and she returned to the more interesting employment of walking backwards and forwards across the room, pausing for a moment whenever she came to the window, in hopes of distinguishing the long-expected rap. chapter 27 "if this open weather holds much longer," said mrs. jennings, when they met at breakfast the following morning, "sir john will not like leaving barton next week; 'tis a sad thing for sportsmen to lose a day's pleasure. poor souls! i always pity them when they do; they seem to take it so much to heart." "that is true," cried marianne, in a cheerful voice, and walking to the window as she spoke, to examine the day. "i had not thought of that. this weather will keep many sportsmen in the country." it was a lucky recollection, all her good spirits were restored by it. "it is charming weather for them indeed," she continued, as she sat down to the breakfast table with a happy countenance. "how much they must enjoy it! but" (with a little return of anxiety) "it cannot be expected to last long. at this time of the year, and after such a series of rain, we shall certainly have very little more of it. frosts will soon set in, and in all probability with severity. in another day or two perhaps; this extreme mildness can hardly last longer--nay, perhaps it may freeze tonight!" "at any rate," said elinor, wishing to prevent mrs. jennings from seeing her sister's thoughts as clearly as she did, "i dare say we shall have sir john and lady middleton in town by the end of next week." "ay, my dear, i'll warrant you we do. mary always has her own way." "and now," silently conjectured elinor, "she will write to combe by this day's post." but if she did, the letter was written and sent away with a privacy which eluded all her watchfulness to ascertain the fact. whatever the truth of it might be, and far as elinor was from feeling thorough contentment about it, yet while she saw marianne in spirits, she could not be very uncomfortable herself. and marianne was in spirits; happy in the mildness of the weather, and still happier in her expectation of a frost. the morning was chiefly spent in leaving cards at the houses of mrs. jennings's acquaintance to inform them of her being in town; and marianne was all the time busy in observing the direction of the wind, watching the variations of the sky and imagining an alteration in the air. "don't you find it colder than it was in the morning, elinor? there seems to me a very decided difference. i can hardly keep my hands warm even in my muff. it was not so yesterday, i think. the clouds seem parting too, the sun will be out in a moment, and we shall have a clear afternoon." elinor was alternately diverted and pained; but marianne persevered, and saw every night in the brightness of the fire, and every morning in the appearance of the atmosphere, the certain symptoms of approaching frost. the miss dashwoods had no greater reason to be dissatisfied with mrs. jennings's style of living, and set of acquaintance, than with her behaviour to themselves, which was invariably kind. every thing in her household arrangements was conducted on the most liberal plan, and excepting a few old city friends, whom, to lady middleton's regret, she had never dropped, she visited no one to whom an introduction could at all discompose the feelings of her young companions. pleased to find herself more comfortably situated in that particular than she had expected, elinor was very willing to compound for the want of much real enjoyment from any of their evening parties, which, whether at home or abroad, formed only for cards, could have little to amuse her. colonel brandon, who had a general invitation to the house, was with them almost every day; he came to look at marianne and talk to elinor, who often derived more satisfaction from conversing with him than from any other daily occurrence, but who saw at the same time with much concern his continued regard for her sister. she feared it was a strengthening regard. it grieved her to see the earnestness with which he often watched marianne, and his spirits were certainly worse than when at barton. about a week after their arrival, it became certain that willoughby was also arrived. his card was on the table when they came in from the morning's drive. "good god!" cried marianne, "he has been here while we were out." elinor, rejoiced to be assured of his being in london, now ventured to say, "depend upon it, he will call again tomorrow." but marianne seemed hardly to hear her, and on mrs. jennings's entrance, escaped with the precious card. this event, while it raised the spirits of elinor, restored to those of her sister all, and more than all, their former agitation. from this moment her mind was never quiet; the expectation of seeing him every hour of the day, made her unfit for any thing. she insisted on being left behind, the next morning, when the others went out. elinor's thoughts were full of what might be passing in berkeley street during their absence; but a moment's glance at her sister when they returned was enough to inform her, that willoughby had paid no second visit there. a note was just then brought in, and laid on the table. "for me!" cried marianne, stepping hastily forward. "no, ma'am, for my mistress." but marianne, not convinced, took it instantly up. "it is indeed for mrs. jennings; how provoking!" "you are expecting a letter, then?" said elinor, unable to be longer silent. "yes, a little--not much." after a short pause. "you have no confidence in me, marianne." "nay, elinor, this reproach from you--you who have confidence in no one!" "me!" returned elinor in some confusion; "indeed, marianne, i have nothing to tell." "nor i," answered marianne with energy, "our situations then are alike. we have neither of us any thing to tell; you, because you do not communicate, and i, because i conceal nothing." elinor, distressed by this charge of reserve in herself, which she was not at liberty to do away, knew not how, under such circumstances, to press for greater openness in marianne. mrs. jennings soon appeared, and the note being given her, she read it aloud. it was from lady middleton, announcing their arrival in conduit street the night before, and requesting the company of her mother and cousins the following evening. business on sir john's part, and a violent cold on her own, prevented their calling in berkeley street. the invitation was accepted; but when the hour of appointment drew near, necessary as it was in common civility to mrs. jennings, that they should both attend her on such a visit, elinor had some difficulty in persuading her sister to go, for still she had seen nothing of willoughby; and therefore was not more indisposed for amusement abroad, than unwilling to run the risk of his calling again in her absence. elinor found, when the evening was over, that disposition is not materially altered by a change of abode, for although scarcely settled in town, sir john had contrived to collect around him, nearly twenty young people, and to amuse them with a ball. this was an affair, however, of which lady middleton did not approve. in the country, an unpremeditated dance was very allowable; but in london, where the reputation of elegance was more important and less easily attained, it was risking too much for the gratification of a few girls, to have it known that lady middleton had given a small dance of eight or nine couple, with two violins, and a mere side-board collation. mr. and mrs. palmer were of the party; from the former, whom they had not seen before since their arrival in town, as he was careful to avoid the appearance of any attention to his mother-in-law, and therefore never came near her, they received no mark of recognition on their entrance. he looked at them slightly, without seeming to know who they were, and merely nodded to mrs. jennings from the other side of the room. marianne gave one glance round the apartment as she entered: it was enough--he was not there--and she sat down, equally ill-disposed to receive or communicate pleasure. after they had been assembled about an hour, mr. palmer sauntered towards the miss dashwoods to express his surprise on seeing them in town, though colonel brandon had been first informed of their arrival at his house, and he had himself said something very droll on hearing that they were to come. "i thought you were both in devonshire," said he. "did you?" replied elinor. "when do you go back again?" "i do not know." and thus ended their discourse. never had marianne been so unwilling to dance in her life, as she was that evening, and never so much fatigued by the exercise. she complained of it as they returned to berkeley street. "aye, aye," said mrs. jennings, "we know the reason of all that very well; if a certain person who shall be nameless, had been there, you would not have been a bit tired: and to say the truth it was not very pretty of him not to give you the meeting when he was invited." "invited!" cried marianne. "so my daughter middleton told me, for it seems sir john met him somewhere in the street this morning." marianne said no more, but looked exceedingly hurt. impatient in this situation to be doing something that might lead to her sister's relief, elinor resolved to write the next morning to her mother, and hoped by awakening her fears for the health of marianne, to procure those inquiries which had been so long delayed; and she was still more eagerly bent on this measure by perceiving after breakfast on the morrow, that marianne was again writing to willoughby, for she could not suppose it to be to any other person. about the middle of the day, mrs. jennings went out by herself on business, and elinor began her letter directly, while marianne, too restless for employment, too anxious for conversation, walked from one window to the other, or sat down by the fire in melancholy meditation. elinor was very earnest in her application to her mother, relating all that had passed, her suspicions of willoughby's inconstancy, urging her by every plea of duty and affection to demand from marianne an account of her real situation with respect to him. her letter was scarcely finished, when a rap foretold a visitor, and colonel brandon was announced. marianne, who had seen him from the window, and who hated company of any kind, left the room before he entered it. he looked more than usually grave, and though expressing satisfaction at finding miss dashwood alone, as if he had somewhat in particular to tell her, sat for some time without saying a word. elinor, persuaded that he had some communication to make in which her sister was concerned, impatiently expected its opening. it was not the first time of her feeling the same kind of conviction; for, more than once before, beginning with the observation of "your sister looks unwell to-day," or "your sister seems out of spirits," he had appeared on the point, either of disclosing, or of inquiring, something particular about her. after a pause of several minutes, their silence was broken, by his asking her in a voice of some agitation, when he was to congratulate her on the acquisition of a brother? elinor was not prepared for such a question, and having no answer ready, was obliged to adopt the simple and common expedient, of asking what he meant? he tried to smile as he replied, "your sister's engagement to mr. willoughby is very generally known." "it cannot be generally known," returned elinor, "for her own family do not know it." he looked surprised and said, "i beg your pardon, i am afraid my inquiry has been impertinent; but i had not supposed any secrecy intended, as they openly correspond, and their marriage is universally talked of." "how can that be? by whom can you have heard it mentioned?" "by many--by some of whom you know nothing, by others with whom you are most intimate, mrs. jennings, mrs. palmer, and the middletons. but still i might not have believed it, for where the mind is perhaps rather unwilling to be convinced, it will always find something to support its doubts, if i had not, when the servant let me in today, accidentally seen a letter in his hand, directed to mr. willoughby in your sister's writing. i came to inquire, but i was convinced before i could ask the question. is every thing finally settled? is it impossible to-? but i have no right, and i could have no chance of succeeding. excuse me, miss dashwood. i believe i have been wrong in saying so much, but i hardly know what to do, and on your prudence i have the strongest dependence. tell me that it is all absolutely resolved on, that any attempt, that in short concealment, if concealment be possible, is all that remains." these words, which conveyed to elinor a direct avowal of his love for her sister, affected her very much. she was not immediately able to say anything, and even when her spirits were recovered, she debated for a short time, on the answer it would be most proper to give. the real state of things between willoughby and her sister was so little known to herself, that in endeavouring to explain it, she might be as liable to say too much as too little. yet as she was convinced that marianne's affection for willoughby, could leave no hope of colonel brandon's success, whatever the event of that affection might be, and at the same time wished to shield her conduct from censure, she thought it most prudent and kind, after some consideration, to say more than she really knew or believed. she acknowledged, therefore, that though she had never been informed by themselves of the terms on which they stood with each other, of their mutual affection she had no doubt, and of their correspondence she was not astonished to hear. he listened to her with silent attention, and on her ceasing to speak, rose directly from his seat, and after saying in a voice of emotion, "to your sister i wish all imaginable happiness; to willoughby that he may endeavour to deserve her,"--took leave, and went away. elinor derived no comfortable feelings from this conversation, to lessen the uneasiness of her mind on other points; she was left, on the contrary, with a melancholy impression of colonel brandon's unhappiness, and was prevented even from wishing it removed, by her anxiety for the very event that must confirm it. chapter 28 nothing occurred during the next three or four days, to make elinor regret what she had done, in applying to her mother; for willoughby neither came nor wrote. they were engaged about the end of that time to attend lady middleton to a party, from which mrs. jennings was kept away by the indisposition of her youngest daughter; and for this party, marianne, wholly dispirited, careless of her appearance, and seeming equally indifferent whether she went or staid, prepared, without one look of hope or one expression of pleasure. she sat by the drawing-room fire after tea, till the moment of lady middleton's arrival, without once stirring from her seat, or altering her attitude, lost in her own thoughts, and insensible of her sister's presence; and when at last they were told that lady middleton waited for them at the door, she started as if she had forgotten that any one was expected. they arrived in due time at the place of destination, and as soon as the string of carriages before them would allow, alighted, ascended the stairs, heard their names announced from one landing-place to another in an audible voice, and entered a room splendidly lit up, quite full of company, and insufferably hot. when they had paid their tribute of politeness by curtsying to the lady of the house, they were permitted to mingle in the crowd, and take their share of the heat and inconvenience, to which their arrival must necessarily add. after some time spent in saying little or doing less, lady middleton sat down to cassino, and as marianne was not in spirits for moving about, she and elinor luckily succeeding to chairs, placed themselves at no great distance from the table. they had not remained in this manner long, before elinor perceived willoughby, standing within a few yards of them, in earnest conversation with a very fashionable looking young woman. she soon caught his eye, and he immediately bowed, but without attempting to speak to her, or to approach marianne, though he could not but see her; and then continued his discourse with the same lady. elinor turned involuntarily to marianne, to see whether it could be unobserved by her. at that moment she first perceived him, and her whole countenance glowing with sudden delight, she would have moved towards him instantly, had not her sister caught hold of her. "good heavens!" she exclaimed, "he is there--he is there--oh! why does he not look at me? why cannot i speak to him?" "pray, pray be composed," cried elinor, "and do not betray what you feel to every body present. perhaps he has not observed you yet." this however was more than she could believe herself; and to be composed at such a moment was not only beyond the reach of marianne, it was beyond her wish. she sat in an agony of impatience which affected every feature. at last he turned round again, and regarded them both; she started up, and pronouncing his name in a tone of affection, held out her hand to him. he approached, and addressing himself rather to elinor than marianne, as if wishing to avoid her eye, and determined not to observe her attitude, inquired in a hurried manner after mrs. dashwood, and asked how long they had been in town. elinor was robbed of all presence of mind by such an address, and was unable to say a word. but the feelings of her sister were instantly expressed. her face was crimsoned over, and she exclaimed, in a voice of the greatest emotion, "good god! willoughby, what is the meaning of this? have you not received my letters? will you not shake hands with me?" he could not then avoid it, but her touch seemed painful to him, and he held her hand only for a moment. during all this time he was evidently struggling for composure. elinor watched his countenance and saw its expression becoming more tranquil. after a moment's pause, he spoke with calmness. "i did myself the honour of calling in berkeley street last tuesday, and very much regretted that i was not fortunate enough to find yourselves and mrs. jennings at home. my card was not lost, i hope." "but have you not received my notes?" cried marianne in the wildest anxiety. "here is some mistake i am sure--some dreadful mistake. what can be the meaning of it? tell me, willoughby; for heaven's sake tell me, what is the matter?" he made no reply; his complexion changed and all his embarrassment returned; but as if, on catching the eye of the young lady with whom he had been previously talking, he felt the necessity of instant exertion, he recovered himself again, and after saying, "yes, i had the pleasure of receiving the information of your arrival in town, which you were so good as to send me," turned hastily away with a slight bow and joined his friend. marianne, now looking dreadfully white, and unable to stand, sunk into her chair, and elinor, expecting every moment to see her faint, tried to screen her from the observation of others, while reviving her with lavender water. "go to him, elinor," she cried, as soon as she could speak, "and force him to come to me. tell him i must see him again--must speak to him instantly.-i cannot rest--i shall not have a moment's peace till this is explained--some dreadful misapprehension or other.-oh go to him this moment." "how can that be done? no, my dearest marianne, you must wait. this is not the place for explanations. wait only till tomorrow." with difficulty however could she prevent her from following him herself; and to persuade her to check her agitation, to wait, at least, with the appearance of composure, till she might speak to him with more privacy and more effect, was impossible; for marianne continued incessantly to give way in a low voice to the misery of her feelings, by exclamations of wretchedness. in a short time elinor saw willoughby quit the room by the door towards the staircase, and telling marianne that he was gone, urged the impossibility of speaking to him again that evening, as a fresh argument for her to be calm. she instantly begged her sister would entreat lady middleton to take them home, as she was too miserable to stay a minute longer. lady middleton, though in the middle of a rubber, on being informed that marianne was unwell, was too polite to object for a moment to her wish of going away, and making over her cards to a friend, they departed as soon the carriage could be found. scarcely a word was spoken during their return to berkeley street. marianne was in a silent agony, too much oppressed even for tears; but as mrs. jennings was luckily not come home, they could go directly to their own room, where hartshorn restored her a little to herself. she was soon undressed and in bed, and as she seemed desirous of being alone, her sister then left her, and while she waited the return of mrs. jennings, had leisure enough for thinking over the past. that some kind of engagement had subsisted between willoughby and marianne she could not doubt, and that willoughby was weary of it, seemed equally clear; for however marianne might still feed her own wishes, she could not attribute such behaviour to mistake or misapprehension of any kind. nothing but a thorough change of sentiment could account for it. her indignation would have been still stronger than it was, had she not witnessed that embarrassment which seemed to speak a consciousness of his own misconduct, and prevented her from believing him so unprincipled as to have been sporting with the affections of her sister from the first, without any design that would bear investigation. absence might have weakened his regard, and convenience might have determined him to overcome it, but that such a regard had formerly existed she could not bring herself to doubt. as for marianne, on the pangs which so unhappy a meeting must already have given her, and on those still more severe which might await her in its probable consequence, she could not reflect without the deepest concern. her own situation gained in the comparison; for while she could esteem edward as much as ever, however they might be divided in future, her mind might be always supported. but every circumstance that could embitter such an evil seemed uniting to heighten the misery of marianne in a final separation from willoughby--in an immediate and irreconcilable rupture with him. chapter 29 before the house-maid had lit their fire the next day, or the sun gained any power over a cold, gloomy morning in january, marianne, only half dressed, was kneeling against one of the window-seats for the sake of all the little light she could command from it, and writing as fast as a continual flow of tears would permit her. in this situation, elinor, roused from sleep by her agitation and sobs, first perceived her; and after observing her for a few moments with silent anxiety, said, in a tone of the most considerate gentleness, "marianne, may i ask-?" "no, elinor," she replied, "ask nothing; you will soon know all." the sort of desperate calmness with which this was said, lasted no longer than while she spoke, and was immediately followed by a return of the same excessive affliction. it was some minutes before she could go on with her letter, and the frequent bursts of grief which still obliged her, at intervals, to withhold her pen, were proofs enough of her feeling how more than probable it was that she was writing for the last time to willoughby. elinor paid her every quiet and unobtrusive attention in her power; and she would have tried to sooth and tranquilize her still more, had not marianne entreated her, with all the eagerness of the most nervous irritability, not to speak to her for the world. in such circumstances, it was better for both that they should not be long together; and the restless state of marianne's mind not only prevented her from remaining in the room a moment after she was dressed, but requiring at once solitude and continual change of place, made her wander about the house till breakfast time, avoiding the sight of every body. at breakfast she neither ate, nor attempted to eat any thing; and elinor's attention was then all employed, not in urging her, not in pitying her, nor in appearing to regard her, but in endeavouring to engage mrs. jennings's notice entirely to herself. as this was a favourite meal with mrs. jennings, it lasted a considerable time, and they were just setting themselves, after it, round the common working table, when a letter was delivered to marianne, which she eagerly caught from the servant, and, turning of a death-like paleness, instantly ran out of the room. elinor, who saw as plainly by this, as if she had seen the direction, that it must come from willoughby, felt immediately such a sickness at heart as made her hardly able to hold up her head, and sat in such a general tremour as made her fear it impossible to escape mrs. jennings's notice. that good lady, however, saw only that marianne had received a letter from willoughby, which appeared to her a very good joke, and which she treated accordingly, by hoping, with a laugh, that she would find it to her liking. of elinor's distress, she was too busily employed in measuring lengths of worsted for her rug, to see any thing at all; and calmly continuing her talk, as soon as marianne disappeared, she said, "upon my word, i never saw a young woman so desperately in love in my life! my girls were nothing to her, and yet they used to be foolish enough; but as for miss marianne, she is quite an altered creature. i hope, from the bottom of my heart, he won't keep her waiting much longer, for it is quite grievous to see her look so ill and forlorn. pray, when are they to be married?" elinor, though never less disposed to speak than at that moment, obliged herself to answer such an attack as this, and, therefore, trying to smile, replied, "and have you really, ma'am, talked yourself into a persuasion of my sister's being engaged to mr. willoughby? i thought it had been only a joke, but so serious a question seems to imply more; and i must beg, therefore, that you will not deceive yourself any longer. i do assure you that nothing would surprise me more than to hear of their being going to be married." "for shame, for shame, miss dashwood! how can you talk so? don't we all know that it must be a match, that they were over head and ears in love with each other from the first moment they met? did not i see them together in devonshire every day, and all day long; and did not i know that your sister came to town with me on purpose to buy wedding clothes? come, come, this won't do. because you are so sly about it yourself, you think nobody else has any senses; but it is no such thing, i can tell you, for it has been known all over town this ever so long. i tell every body of it and so does charlotte." "indeed, ma'am," said elinor, very seriously, "you are mistaken. indeed, you are doing a very unkind thing in spreading the report, and you will find that you have though you will not believe me now." mrs. jennings laughed again, but elinor had not spirits to say more, and eager at all events to know what willoughby had written, hurried away to their room, where, on opening the door, she saw marianne stretched on the bed, almost choked by grief, one letter in her hand, and two or three others laying by her. elinor drew near, but without saying a word; and seating herself on the bed, took her hand, kissed her affectionately several times, and then gave way to a burst of tears, which at first was scarcely less violent than marianne's. the latter, though unable to speak, seemed to feel all the tenderness of this behaviour, and after some time thus spent in joint affliction, she put all the letters into elinor's hands; and then covering her face with her handkerchief, almost screamed with agony. elinor, who knew that such grief, shocking as it was to witness it, must have its course, watched by her till this excess of suffering had somewhat spent itself, and then turning eagerly to willoughby's letter, read as follows: "bond street, january. "my dear madam, "i have just had the honour of receiving your letter, for which i beg to return my sincere acknowledgments. i am much concerned to find there was anything in my behaviour last night that did not meet your approbation; and though i am quite at a loss to discover in what point i could be so unfortunate as to offend you, i entreat your forgiveness of what i can assure you to have been perfectly unintentional. i shall never reflect on my former acquaintance with your family in devonshire without the most grateful pleasure, and flatter myself it will not be broken by any mistake or misapprehension of my actions. my esteem for your whole family is very sincere; but if i have been so unfortunate as to give rise to a belief of more than i felt, or meant to express, i shall reproach myself for not having been more guarded in my professions of that esteem. that i should ever have meant more you will allow to be impossible, when you understand that my affections have been long engaged elsewhere, and it will not be many weeks, i believe, before this engagement is fulfilled. it is with great regret that i obey your commands in returning the letters with which i have been honoured from you, and the lock of hair, which you so obligingly bestowed on me. "i am, dear madam, "your most obedient "humble servant, "john willoughby." with what indignation such a letter as this must be read by miss dashwood, may be imagined. though aware, before she began it, that it must bring a confession of his inconstancy, and confirm their separation for ever, she was not aware that such language could be suffered to announce it; nor could she have supposed willoughby capable of departing so far from the appearance of every honourable and delicate feeling--so far from the common decorum of a gentleman, as to send a letter so impudently cruel: a letter which, instead of bringing with his desire of a release any professions of regret, acknowledged no breach of faith, denied all peculiar affection whatever--a letter of which every line was an insult, and which proclaimed its writer to be deep in hardened villainy. she paused over it for some time with indignant astonishment; then read it again and again; but every perusal only served to increase her abhorrence of the man, and so bitter were her feelings against him, that she dared not trust herself to speak, lest she might wound marianne still deeper by treating their disengagement, not as a loss to her of any possible good but as an escape from the worst and most irremediable of all evils, a connection, for life, with an unprincipled man, as a deliverance the most real, a blessing the most important. in her earnest meditations on the contents of the letter, on the depravity of that mind which could dictate it, and probably, on the very different mind of a very different person, who had no other connection whatever with the affair than what her heart gave him with every thing that passed, elinor forgot the immediate distress of her sister, forgot that she had three letters on her lap yet unread, and so entirely forgot how long she had been in the room, that when on hearing a carriage drive up to the door, she went to the window to see who could be coming so unreasonably early, she was all astonishment to perceive mrs. jennings's chariot, which she knew had not been ordered till one. determined not to quit marianne, though hopeless of contributing, at present, to her ease, she hurried away to excuse herself from attending mrs. jennings, on account of her sister being indisposed. mrs. jennings, with a thoroughly good-humoured concern for its cause, admitted the excuse most readily, and elinor, after seeing her safe off, returned to marianne, whom she found attempting to rise from the bed, and whom she reached just in time to prevent her from falling on the floor, faint and giddy from a long want of proper rest and food; for it was many days since she had any appetite, and many nights since she had really slept; and now, when her mind was no longer supported by the fever of suspense, the consequence of all this was felt in an aching head, a weakened stomach, and a general nervous faintness. a glass of wine, which elinor procured for her directly, made her more comfortable, and she was at last able to express some sense of her kindness, by saying, "poor elinor! how unhappy i make you!" "i only wish," replied her sister, "there were any thing i could do, which might be of comfort to you." this, as every thing else would have been, was too much for marianne, who could only exclaim, in the anguish of her heart, "oh! elinor, i am miserable, indeed," before her voice was entirely lost in sobs. elinor could no longer witness this torrent of unresisted grief in silence. "exert yourself, dear marianne," she cried, "if you would not kill yourself and all who love you. think of your mother; think of her misery while you suffer: for her sake you must exert yourself." "i cannot, i cannot," cried marianne; "leave me, leave me, if i distress you; leave me, hate me, forget me! but do not torture me so. oh! how easy for those, who have no sorrow of their own to talk of exertion! happy, happy elinor, you cannot have an idea of what i suffer." "do you call me happy, marianne? ah! if you knew!--and can you believe me to be so, while i see you so wretched!" "forgive me, forgive me," throwing her arms round her sister's neck; "i know you feel for me; i know what a heart you have; but yet you are--you must be happy; edward loves you--what, oh what, can do away such happiness as that?" "many, many circumstances," said elinor, solemnly. "no, no, no," cried marianne wildly, "he loves you, and only you. you can have no grief." "i can have no pleasure while i see you in this state." "and you will never see me otherwise. mine is a misery which nothing can do away." "you must not talk so, marianne. have you no comforts? no friends? is your loss such as leaves no opening for consolation? much as you suffer now, think of what you would have suffered if the discovery of his character had been delayed to a later period--if your engagement had been carried on for months and months, as it might have been, before he chose to put an end to it. every additional day of unhappy confidence, on your side, would have made the blow more dreadful." "engagement!" cried marianne, "there has been no engagement." "no engagement!" "no, he is not so unworthy as you believe him. he has broken no faith with me." "but he told you that he loved you." "yes--no--never absolutely. it was every day implied, but never professedly declared. sometimes i thought it had been--but it never was." "yet you wrote to him?"-"yes--could that be wrong after all that had passed?-but i cannot talk." elinor said no more, and turning again to the three letters which now raised a much stronger curiosity than before, directly ran over the contents of all. the first, which was what her sister had sent him on their arrival in town, was to this effect. berkeley street, january. "how surprised you will be, willoughby, on receiving this; and i think you will feel something more than surprise, when you know that i am in town. an opportunity of coming hither, though with mrs. jennings, was a temptation we could not resist. i wish you may receive this in time to come here to-night, but i will not depend on it. at any rate i shall expect you to-morrow. for the present, adieu. "m.d." her second note, which had been written on the morning after the dance at the middletons', was in these words:- "i cannot express my disappointment in having missed you the day before yesterday, nor my astonishment at not having received any answer to a note which i sent you above a week ago. i have been expecting to hear from you, and still more to see you, every hour of the day. pray call again as soon as possible, and explain the reason of my having expected this in vain. you had better come earlier another time, because we are generally out by one. we were last night at lady middleton's, where there was a dance. i have been told that you were asked to be of the party. but could it be so? you must be very much altered indeed since we parted, if that could be the case, and you not there. but i will not suppose this possible, and i hope very soon to receive your personal assurance of its being otherwise. "m.d." the contents of her last note to him were these:- "what am i to imagine, willoughby, by your behaviour last night? again i demand an explanation of it. i was prepared to meet you with the pleasure which our separation naturally produced, with the familiarity which our intimacy at barton appeared to me to justify. i was repulsed indeed! i have passed a wretched night in endeavouring to excuse a conduct which can scarcely be called less than insulting; but though i have not yet been able to form any reasonable apology for your behaviour, i am perfectly ready to hear your justification of it. you have perhaps been misinformed, or purposely deceived, in something concerning me, which may have lowered me in your opinion. tell me what it is, explain the grounds on which you acted, and i shall be satisfied, in being able to satisfy you. it would grieve me indeed to be obliged to think ill of you; but if i am to do it, if i am to learn that you are not what we have hitherto believed you, that your regard for us all was insincere, that your behaviour to me was intended only to deceive, let it be told as soon as possible. my feelings are at present in a state of dreadful indecision; i wish to acquit you, but certainty on either side will be ease to what i now suffer. if your sentiments are no longer what they were, you will return my notes, and the lock of my hair which is in your possession. "m.d." that such letters, so full of affection and confidence, could have been so answered, elinor, for willoughby's sake, would have been unwilling to believe. but her condemnation of him did not blind her to the impropriety of their having been written at all; and she was silently grieving over the imprudence which had hazarded such unsolicited proofs of tenderness, not warranted by anything preceding, and most severely condemned by the event, when marianne, perceiving that she had finished the letters, observed to her that they contained nothing but what any one would have written in the same situation. "i felt myself," she added, "to be as solemnly engaged to him, as if the strictest legal covenant had bound us to each other." "i can believe it," said elinor; "but unfortunately he did not feel the same." "he did feel the same, elinor--for weeks and weeks he felt it. i know he did. whatever may have changed him now, (and nothing but the blackest art employed against me can have done it), i was once as dear to him as my own soul could wish. this lock of hair, which now he can so readily give up, was begged of me with the most earnest supplication. had you seen his look, his manner, had you heard his voice at that moment! have you forgot the last evening of our being together at barton? the morning that we parted too! when he told me that it might be many weeks before we met again--his distress--can i ever forget his distress?" for a moment or two she could say no more; but when this emotion had passed away, she added, in a firmer tone, "elinor, i have been cruelly used; but not by willoughby." "dearest marianne, who but himself? by whom can he have been instigated?" "by all the world, rather than by his own heart. i could rather believe every creature of my acquaintance leagued together to ruin me in his opinion, than believe his nature capable of such cruelty. this woman of whom he writes--whoever she be--or any one, in short, but your own dear self, mama, and edward, may have been so barbarous to bely me. beyond you three, is there a creature in the world whom i would not rather suspect of evil than willoughby, whose heart i know so well?" elinor would not contend, and only replied, "whoever may have been so detestably your enemy, let them be cheated of their malignant triumph, my dear sister, by seeing how nobly the consciousness of your own innocence and good intentions supports your spirits. it is a reasonable and laudable pride which resists such malevolence." "no, no," cried marianne, "misery such as mine has no pride. i care not who knows that i am wretched. the triumph of seeing me so may be open to all the world. elinor, elinor, they who suffer little may be proud and independent as they like--may resist insult, or return mortification--but i cannot. i must feel--i must be wretched--and they are welcome to enjoy the consciousness of it that can." "but for my mother's sake and mine--" "i would do more than for my own. but to appear happy when i am so miserable--oh! who can require it?" again they were both silent. elinor was employed in walking thoughtfully from the fire to the window, from the window to the fire, without knowing that she received warmth from one, or discerning objects through the other; and marianne, seated at the foot of the bed, with her head leaning against one of its posts, again took up willoughby's letter, and, after shuddering over every sentence, exclaimed-"it is too much! oh, willoughby, willoughby, could this be yours! cruel, cruel--nothing can acquit you. elinor, nothing can. whatever he might have heard against me--ought he not to have suspended his belief? ought he not to have told me of it, to have given me the power of clearing myself? 'the lock of hair, (repeating it from the letter,) which you so obligingly bestowed on me'--that is unpardonable. willoughby, where was your heart when you wrote those words? oh, barbarously insolent!--elinor, can he be justified?" "no, marianne, in no possible way." "and yet this woman--who knows what her art may have been?--how long it may have been premeditated, and how deeply contrived by her!--who is she?--who can she be?--whom did i ever hear him talk of as young and attractive among his female acquaintance?--oh! no one, no one--he talked to me only of myself." another pause ensued; marianne was greatly agitated, and it ended thus. "elinor, i must go home. i must go and comfort mama. can not we be gone to-morrow?" "to-morrow, marianne!" "yes, why should i stay here? i came only for willoughby's sake--and now who cares for me? who regards me?" "it would be impossible to go to-morrow. we owe mrs. jennings much more than civility; and civility of the commonest kind must prevent such a hasty removal as that." "well then, another day or two, perhaps; but i cannot stay here long, i cannot stay to endure the questions and remarks of all these people. the middletons and palmers--how am i to bear their pity? the pity of such a woman as lady middleton! oh, what would he say to that!" elinor advised her to lie down again, and for a moment she did so; but no attitude could give her ease; and in restless pain of mind and body she moved from one posture to another, till growing more and more hysterical, her sister could with difficulty keep her on the bed at all, and for some time was fearful of being constrained to call for assistance. some lavender drops, however, which she was at length persuaded to take, were of use; and from that time till mrs. jennings returned, she continued on the bed quiet and motionless. chapter 30 mrs. jennings came immediately to their room on her return, and without waiting to have her request of admittance answered, opened the door and walked in with a look of real concern. "how do you do my dear?"--said she in a voice of great compassion to marianne, who turned away her face without attempting to answer. "how is she, miss dashwood?--poor thing! she looks very bad.-no wonder. ay, it is but too true. he is to be married very soon--a good-for-nothing fellow! i have no patience with him. mrs. taylor told me of it half an hour ago, and she was told it by a particular friend of miss grey herself, else i am sure i should not have believed it; and i was almost ready to sink as it was. well, said i, all i can say is, that if this be true, he has used a young lady of my acquaintance abominably ill, and i wish with all my soul his wife may plague his heart out. and so i shall always say, my dear, you may depend on it. i have no notion of men's going on in this way; and if ever i meet him again, i will give him such a dressing as he has not had this many a day. but there is one comfort, my dear miss marianne; he is not the only young man in the world worth having; and with your pretty face you will never want admirers. well, poor thing! i won't disturb her any longer, for she had better have her cry out at once and have done with. the parrys and sandersons luckily are coming tonight you know, and that will amuse her." she then went away, walking on tiptoe out of the room, as if she supposed her young friend's affliction could be increased by noise. marianne, to the surprise of her sister, determined on dining with them. elinor even advised her against it. but "no, she would go down; she could bear it very well, and the bustle about her would be less." elinor, pleased to have her governed for a moment by such a motive, though believing it hardly possible that she could sit out the dinner, said no more; and adjusting her dress for her as well as she could, while marianne still remained on the bed, was ready to assist her into the dining room as soon as they were summoned to it. when there, though looking most wretchedly, she ate more and was calmer than her sister had expected. had she tried to speak, or had she been conscious of half mrs. jennings's well-meant but ill-judged attentions to her, this calmness could not have been maintained; but not a syllable escaped her lips; and the abstraction of her thoughts preserved her in ignorance of every thing that was passing before her. elinor, who did justice to mrs. jennings's kindness, though its effusions were often distressing, and sometimes almost ridiculous, made her those acknowledgments, and returned her those civilities, which her sister could not make or return for herself. their good friend saw that marianne was unhappy, and felt that every thing was due to her which might make her at all less so. she treated her therefore, with all the indulgent fondness of a parent towards a favourite child on the last day of its holidays. marianne was to have the best place by the fire, was to be tempted to eat by every delicacy in the house, and to be amused by the relation of all the news of the day. had not elinor, in the sad countenance of her sister, seen a check to all mirth, she could have been entertained by mrs. jennings's endeavours to cure a disappointment in love, by a variety of sweetmeats and olives, and a good fire. as soon, however, as the consciousness of all this was forced by continual repetition on marianne, she could stay no longer. with a hasty exclamation of misery, and a sign to her sister not to follow her, she directly got up and hurried out of the room. "poor soul!" cried mrs. jennings, as soon as she was gone, "how it grieves me to see her! and i declare if she is not gone away without finishing her wine! and the dried cherries too! lord! nothing seems to do her any good. i am sure if i knew of any thing she would like, i would send all over the town for it. well, it is the oddest thing to me, that a man should use such a pretty girl so ill! but when there is plenty of money on one side, and next to none on the other, lord bless you! they care no more about such things!--" "the lady then--miss grey i think you called her--is very rich?" "fifty thousand pounds, my dear. did you ever see her? a smart, stylish girl they say, but not handsome. i remember her aunt very well, biddy henshawe; she married a very wealthy man. but the family are all rich together. fifty thousand pounds! and by all accounts, it won't come before it's wanted; for they say he is all to pieces. no wonder! dashing about with his curricle and hunters! well, it don't signify talking; but when a young man, be who he will, comes and makes love to a pretty girl, and promises marriage, he has no business to fly off from his word only because he grows poor, and a richer girl is ready to have him. why don't he, in such a case, sell his horses, let his house, turn off his servants, and make a thorough reform at once? i warrant you, miss marianne would have been ready to wait till matters came round. but that won't do now-a-days; nothing in the way of pleasure can ever be given up by the young men of this age." "do you know what kind of a girl miss grey is? is she said to be amiable?" "i never heard any harm of her; indeed i hardly ever heard her mentioned; except that mrs. taylor did say this morning, that one day miss walker hinted to her, that she believed mr. and mrs. ellison would not be sorry to have miss grey married, for she and mrs. ellison could never agree."-"and who are the ellisons?" "her guardians, my dear. but now she is of age and may choose for herself; and a pretty choice she has made!--what now," after pausing a moment--"your poor sister is gone to her own room, i suppose, to moan by herself. is there nothing one can get to comfort her? poor dear, it seems quite cruel to let her be alone. well, by-and-by we shall have a few friends, and that will amuse her a little. what shall we play at? she hates whist i know; but is there no round game she cares for?" "dear ma'am, this kindness is quite unnecessary. marianne, i dare say, will not leave her room again this evening. i shall persuade her if i can to go early to bed, for i am sure she wants rest." "aye, i believe that will be best for her. let her name her own supper, and go to bed. lord! no wonder she has been looking so bad and so cast down this last week or two, for this matter i suppose has been hanging over her head as long as that. and so the letter that came today finished it! poor soul! i am sure if i had had a notion of it, i would not have joked her about it for all my money. but then you know, how should i guess such a thing? i made sure of its being nothing but a common love letter, and you know young people like to be laughed at about them. lord! how concerned sir john and my daughters will be when they hear it! if i had my senses about me i might have called in conduit street in my way home, and told them of it. but i shall see them tomorrow." "it would be unnecessary i am sure, for you to caution mrs. palmer and sir john against ever naming mr. willoughby, or making the slightest allusion to what has passed, before my sister. their own good-nature must point out to them the real cruelty of appearing to know any thing about it when she is present; and the less that may ever be said to myself on the subject, the more my feelings will be spared, as you my dear madam will easily believe." "oh! lord! yes, that i do indeed. it must be terrible for you to hear it talked of; and as for your sister, i am sure i would not mention a word about it to her for the world. you saw i did not all dinner time. no more would sir john, nor my daughters, for they are all very thoughtful and considerate; especially if i give them a hint, as i certainly will. for my part, i think the less that is said about such things, the better, the sooner 'tis blown over and forgot. and what does talking ever do you know?" "in this affair it can only do harm; more so perhaps than in many cases of a similar kind, for it has been attended by circumstances which, for the sake of every one concerned in it, make it unfit to become the public conversation. i must do this justice to mr. willoughby--he has broken no positive engagement with my sister." "law, my dear! don't pretend to defend him. no positive engagement indeed! after taking her all over allenham house, and fixing on the very rooms they were to live in hereafter!" elinor, for her sister's sake, could not press the subject farther, and she hoped it was not required of her for willoughby's; since, though marianne might lose much, he could gain very little by the enforcement of the real truth. after a short silence on both sides, mrs. jennings, with all her natural hilarity, burst forth again. "well, my dear, 'tis a true saying about an ill-wind, for it will be all the better for colonel brandon. he will have her at last; aye, that he will. mind me, now, if they an't married by mid-summer. lord! how he'll chuckle over this news! i hope he will come tonight. it will be all to one a better match for your sister. two thousand a year without debt or drawback--except the little love-child, indeed; aye, i had forgot her; but she may be 'prenticed out at a small cost, and then what does it signify? delaford is a nice place, i can tell you; exactly what i call a nice old fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner! lord! how charlotte and i did stuff the only time we were there! then, there is a dove-cote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and every thing, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so 'tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along. oh! 'tis a nice place! a butcher hard by in the village, and the parsonage-house within a stone's throw. to my fancy, a thousand times prettier than barton park, where they are forced to send three miles for their meat, and have not a neighbour nearer than your mother. well, i shall spirit up the colonel as soon as i can. one shoulder of mutton, you know, drives another down. if we can but put willoughby out of her head!" "ay, if we can do that, ma'am," said elinor, "we shall do very well with or without colonel brandon." and then rising, she went away to join marianne, whom she found, as she expected, in her own room, leaning, in silent misery, over the small remains of a fire, which, till elinor's entrance, had been her only light. "you had better leave me," was all the notice that her sister received from her. "i will leave you," said elinor, "if you will go to bed." but this, from the momentary perverseness of impatient suffering, she at first refused to do. her sister's earnest, though gentle persuasion, however, soon softened her to compliance, and elinor saw her lay her aching head on the pillow, and as she hoped, in a way to get some quiet rest before she left her. in the drawing-room, whither she then repaired, she was soon joined by mrs. jennings, with a wine-glass, full of something, in her hand. "my dear," said she, entering, "i have just recollected that i have some of the finest old constantia wine in the house that ever was tasted, so i have brought a glass of it for your sister. my poor husband! how fond he was of it! whenever he had a touch of his old colicky gout, he said it did him more good than any thing else in the world. do take it to your sister." "dear ma'am," replied elinor, smiling at the difference of the complaints for which it was recommended, "how good you are! but i have just left marianne in bed, and, i hope, almost asleep; and as i think nothing will be of so much service to her as rest, if you will give me leave, i will drink the wine myself." mrs. jennings, though regretting that she had not been five minutes earlier, was satisfied with the compromise; and elinor, as she swallowed the chief of it, reflected, that though its effects on a colicky gout were, at present, of little importance to her, its healing powers, on a disappointed heart might be as reasonably tried on herself as on her sister. colonel brandon came in while the party were at tea, and by his manner of looking round the room for marianne, elinor immediately fancied that he neither expected nor wished to see her there, and, in short, that he was already aware of what occasioned her absence. mrs. jennings was not struck by the same thought; for soon after his entrance, she walked across the room to the tea-table where elinor presided, and whispered-"the colonel looks as grave as ever you see. he knows nothing of it; do tell him, my dear." he shortly afterwards drew a chair close to hers, and, with a look which perfectly assured her of his good information, inquired after her sister. "marianne is not well," said she. "she has been indisposed all day, and we have persuaded her to go to bed." "perhaps, then," he hesitatingly replied, "what i heard this morning may be--there may be more truth in it than i could believe possible at first." "what did you hear?" "that a gentleman, whom i had reason to think--in short, that a man, whom i knew to be engaged--but how shall i tell you? if you know it already, as surely you must, i may be spared." "you mean," answered elinor, with forced calmness, "mr. willoughby's marriage with miss grey. yes, we do know it all. this seems to have been a day of general elucidation, for this very morning first unfolded it to us. mr. willoughby is unfathomable! where did you hear it?" "in a stationer's shop in pall mall, where i had business. two ladies were waiting for their carriage, and one of them was giving the other an account of the intended match, in a voice so little attempting concealment, that it was impossible for me not to hear all. the name of willoughby, john willoughby, frequently repeated, first caught my attention; and what followed was a positive assertion that every thing was now finally settled respecting his marriage with miss grey--it was no longer to be a secret--it would take place even within a few weeks, with many particulars of preparations and other matters. one thing, especially, i remember, because it served to identify the man still more:--as soon as the ceremony was over, they were to go to combe magna, his seat in somersetshire. my astonishment!--but it would be impossible to describe what i felt. the communicative lady i learnt, on inquiry, for i stayed in the shop till they were gone, was a mrs. ellison, and that, as i have been since informed, is the name of miss grey's guardian." "it is. but have you likewise heard that miss grey has fifty thousand pounds? in that, if in any thing, we may find an explanation." "it may be so; but willoughby is capable--at least i think"--he stopped a moment; then added in a voice which seemed to distrust itself, "and your sister--how did she--" "her sufferings have been very severe. i have only to hope that they may be proportionately short. it has been, it is a most cruel affliction. till yesterday, i believe, she never doubted his regard; and even now, perhaps--but i am almost convinced that he never was really attached to her. he has been very deceitful! and, in some points, there seems a hardness of heart about him." "ah!" said colonel brandon, "there is, indeed! but your sister does not--i think you said so--she does not consider quite as you do?" "you know her disposition, and may believe how eagerly she would still justify him if she could." he made no answer; and soon afterwards, by the removal of the tea-things, and the arrangement of the card parties, the subject was necessarily dropped. mrs. jennings, who had watched them with pleasure while they were talking, and who expected to see the effect of miss dashwood's communication, in such an instantaneous gaiety on colonel brandon's side, as might have become a man in the bloom of youth, of hope and happiness, saw him, with amazement, remain the whole evening more serious and thoughtful than usual. chapter 31 from a night of more sleep than she had expected, marianne awoke the next morning to the same consciousness of misery in which she had closed her eyes. elinor encouraged her as much as possible to talk of what she felt; and before breakfast was ready, they had gone through the subject again and again; and with the same steady conviction and affectionate counsel on elinor's side, the same impetuous feelings and varying opinions on marianne's, as before. sometimes she could believe willoughby to be as unfortunate and as innocent as herself, and at others, lost every consolation in the impossibility of acquitting him. at one moment she was absolutely indifferent to the observation of all the world, at another she would seclude herself from it for ever, and at a third could resist it with energy. in one thing, however, she was uniform, when it came to the point, in avoiding, where it was possible, the presence of mrs. jennings, and in a determined silence when obliged to endure it. her heart was hardened against the belief of mrs. jennings's entering into her sorrows with any compassion. "no, no, no, it cannot be," she cried; "she cannot feel. her kindness is not sympathy; her good-nature is not tenderness. all that she wants is gossip, and she only likes me now because i supply it." elinor had not needed this to be assured of the injustice to which her sister was often led in her opinion of others, by the irritable refinement of her own mind, and the too great importance placed by her on the delicacies of a strong sensibility, and the graces of a polished manner. like half the rest of the world, if more than half there be that are clever and good, marianne, with excellent abilities and an excellent disposition, was neither reasonable nor candid. she expected from other people the same opinions and feelings as her own, and she judged of their motives by the immediate effect of their actions on herself. thus a circumstance occurred, while the sisters were together in their own room after breakfast, which sunk the heart of mrs. jennings still lower in her estimation; because, through her own weakness, it chanced to prove a source of fresh pain to herself, though mrs. jennings was governed in it by an impulse of the utmost goodwill. with a letter in her outstretched hand, and countenance gaily smiling, from the persuasion of bringing comfort, she entered their room, saying, "now, my dear, i bring you something that i am sure will do you good." marianne heard enough. in one moment her imagination placed before her a letter from willoughby, full of tenderness and contrition, explanatory of all that had passed, satisfactory, convincing; and instantly followed by willoughby himself, rushing eagerly into the room to inforce, at her feet, by the eloquence of his eyes, the assurances of his letter. the work of one moment was destroyed by the next. the hand writing of her mother, never till then unwelcome, was before her; and, in the acuteness of the disappointment which followed such an ecstasy of more than hope, she felt as if, till that instant, she had never suffered. the cruelty of mrs. jennings no language, within her reach in her moments of happiest eloquence, could have expressed; and now she could reproach her only by the tears which streamed from her eyes with passionate violence--a reproach, however, so entirely lost on its object, that after many expressions of pity, she withdrew, still referring her to the letter of comfort. but the letter, when she was calm enough to read it, brought little comfort. willoughby filled every page. her mother, still confident of their engagement, and relying as warmly as ever on his constancy, had only been roused by elinor's application, to intreat from marianne greater openness towards them both; and this, with such tenderness towards her, such affection for willoughby, and such a conviction of their future happiness in each other, that she wept with agony through the whole of it. all her impatience to be at home again now returned; her mother was dearer to her than ever; dearer through the very excess of her mistaken confidence in willoughby, and she was wildly urgent to be gone. elinor, unable herself to determine whether it were better for marianne to be in london or at barton, offered no counsel of her own except of patience till their mother's wishes could be known; and at length she obtained her sister's consent to wait for that knowledge. mrs. jennings left them earlier than usual; for she could not be easy till the middletons and palmers were able to grieve as much as herself; and positively refusing elinor's offered attendance, went out alone for the rest of the morning. elinor, with a very heavy heart, aware of the pain she was going to communicate, and perceiving, by marianne's letter, how ill she had succeeded in laying any foundation for it, then sat down to write her mother an account of what had passed, and entreat her directions for the future; while marianne, who came into the drawing-room on mrs. jennings's going away, remained fixed at the table where elinor wrote, watching the advancement of her pen, grieving over her for the hardship of such a task, and grieving still more fondly over its effect on her mother. in this manner they had continued about a quarter of an hour, when marianne, whose nerves could not then bear any sudden noise, was startled by a rap at the door. "who can this be?" cried elinor. "so early too! i thought we had been safe." marianne moved to the window-"it is colonel brandon!" said she, with vexation. "we are never safe from him." "he will not come in, as mrs. jennings is from home." "i will not trust to that," retreating to her own room. "a man who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his intrusion on that of others." the event proved her conjecture right, though it was founded on injustice and error; for colonel brandon did come in; and elinor, who was convinced that solicitude for marianne brought him thither, and who saw that solicitude in his disturbed and melancholy look, and in his anxious though brief inquiry after her, could not forgive her sister for esteeming him so lightly. "i met mrs. jennings in bond street," said he, after the first salutation, "and she encouraged me to come on; and i was the more easily encouraged, because i thought it probable that i might find you alone, which i was very desirous of doing. my object--my wish--my sole wish in desiring it--i hope, i believe it is--is to be a means of giving comfort;--no, i must not say comfort--not present comfort--but conviction, lasting conviction to your sister's mind. my regard for her, for yourself, for your mother--will you allow me to prove it, by relating some circumstances which nothing but a very sincere regard--nothing but an earnest desire of being useful--i think i am justified--though where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that i am right, is there not some reason to fear i may be wrong?" he stopped. "i understand you," said elinor. "you have something to tell me of mr. willoughby, that will open his character farther. your telling it will be the greatest act of friendship that can be shewn marianne. my gratitude will be insured immediately by any information tending to that end, and hers must be gained by it in time. pray, pray let me hear it." "you shall; and, to be brief, when i quitted barton last october,--but this will give you no idea--i must go farther back. you will find me a very awkward narrator, miss dashwood; i hardly know where to begin. a short account of myself, i believe, will be necessary, and it shall be a short one. on such a subject," sighing heavily, "can i have little temptation to be diffuse." he stopt a moment for recollection, and then, with another sigh, went on. "you have probably entirely forgotten a conversation--(it is not to be supposed that it could make any impression on you)--a conversation between us one evening at barton park--it was the evening of a dance--in which i alluded to a lady i had once known, as resembling, in some measure, your sister marianne." "indeed," answered elinor, "i have not forgotten it." he looked pleased by this remembrance, and added, "if i am not deceived by the uncertainty, the partiality of tender recollection, there is a very strong resemblance between them, as well in mind as person. the same warmth of heart, the same eagerness of fancy and spirits. this lady was one of my nearest relations, an orphan from her infancy, and under the guardianship of my father. our ages were nearly the same, and from our earliest years we were playfellows and friends. i cannot remember the time when i did not love eliza; and my affection for her, as we grew up, was such, as perhaps, judging from my present forlorn and cheerless gravity, you might think me incapable of having ever felt. hers, for me, was, i believe, fervent as the attachment of your sister to mr. willoughby and it was, though from a different cause, no less unfortunate. at seventeen she was lost to me for ever. she was married--married against her inclination to my brother. her fortune was large, and our family estate much encumbered. and this, i fear, is all that can be said for the conduct of one, who was at once her uncle and guardian. my brother did not deserve her; he did not even love her. i had hoped that her regard for me would support her under any difficulty, and for some time it did; but at last the misery of her situation, for she experienced great unkindness, overcame all her resolution, and though she had promised me that nothing--but how blindly i relate! i have never told you how this was brought on. we were within a few hours of eloping together for scotland. the treachery, or the folly, of my cousin's maid betrayed us. i was banished to the house of a relation far distant, and she was allowed no liberty, no society, no amusement, till my father's point was gained. i had depended on her fortitude too far, and the blow was a severe one--but had her marriage been happy, so young as i then was, a few months must have reconciled me to it, or at least i should not have now to lament it. this however was not the case. my brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly. the consequence of this, upon a mind so young, so lively, so inexperienced as mrs. brandon's, was but too natural. she resigned herself at first to all the misery of her situation; and happy had it been if she had not lived to overcome those regrets which the remembrance of me occasioned. but can we wonder that, with such a husband to provoke inconstancy, and without a friend to advise or restrain her (for my father lived only a few months after their marriage, and i was with my regiment in the east indies) she should fall? had i remained in england, perhaps--but i meant to promote the happiness of both by removing from her for years, and for that purpose had procured my exchange. the shock which her marriage had given me," he continued, in a voice of great agitation, "was of trifling weight--was nothing to what i felt when i heard, about two years afterwards, of her divorce. it was that which threw this gloom,--even now the recollection of what i suffered--" he could say no more, and rising hastily walked for a few minutes about the room. elinor, affected by his relation, and still more by his distress, could not speak. he saw her concern, and coming to her, took her hand, pressed it, and kissed it with grateful respect. a few minutes more of silent exertion enabled him to proceed with composure. "it was nearly three years after this unhappy period before i returned to england. my first care, when i did arrive, was of course to seek for her; but the search was as fruitless as it was melancholy. i could not trace her beyond her first seducer, and there was every reason to fear that she had removed from him only to sink deeper in a life of sin. her legal allowance was not adequate to her fortune, nor sufficient for her comfortable maintenance, and i learnt from my brother that the power of receiving it had been made over some months before to another person. he imagined, and calmly could he imagine it, that her extravagance, and consequent distress, had obliged her to dispose of it for some immediate relief. at last, however, and after i had been six months in england, i did find her. regard for a former servant of my own, who had since fallen into misfortune, carried me to visit him in a spunging-house, where he was confined for debt; and there, in the same house, under a similar confinement, was my unfortunate sister. so altered--so faded--worn down by acute suffering of every kind! hardly could i believe the melancholy and sickly figure before me, to be the remains of the lovely, blooming, healthful girl, on whom i had once doted. what i endured in so beholding her--but i have no right to wound your feelings by attempting to describe it--i have pained you too much already. that she was, to all appearance, in the last stage of a consumption, was--yes, in such a situation it was my greatest comfort. life could do nothing for her, beyond giving time for a better preparation for death; and that was given. i saw her placed in comfortable lodgings, and under proper attendants; i visited her every day during the rest of her short life: i was with her in her last moments." again he stopped to recover himself; and elinor spoke her feelings in an exclamation of tender concern, at the fate of his unfortunate friend. "your sister, i hope, cannot be offended," said he, "by the resemblance i have fancied between her and my poor disgraced relation. their fates, their fortunes, cannot be the same; and had the natural sweet disposition of the one been guarded by a firmer mind, or a happier marriage, she might have been all that you will live to see the other be. but to what does all this lead? i seem to have been distressing you for nothing. ah! miss dashwood--a subject such as this--untouched for fourteen years--it is dangerous to handle it at all! i will be more collected--more concise. she left to my care her only child, a little girl, the offspring of her first guilty connection, who was then about three years old. she loved the child, and had always kept it with her. it was a valued, a precious trust to me; and gladly would i have discharged it in the strictest sense, by watching over her education myself, had the nature of our situations allowed it; but i had no family, no home; and my little eliza was therefore placed at school. i saw her there whenever i could, and after the death of my brother, (which happened about five years ago, and which left to me the possession of the family property,) she visited me at delaford. i called her a distant relation; but i am well aware that i have in general been suspected of a much nearer connection with her. it is now three years ago (she had just reached her fourteenth year,) that i removed her from school, to place her under the care of a very respectable woman, residing in dorsetshire, who had the charge of four or five other girls of about the same time of life; and for two years i had every reason to be pleased with her situation. but last february, almost a twelvemonth back, she suddenly disappeared. i had allowed her, (imprudently, as it has since turned out,) at her earnest desire, to go to bath with one of her young friends, who was attending her father there for his health. i knew him to be a very good sort of man, and i thought well of his daughter--better than she deserved, for, with a most obstinate and ill-judged secrecy, she would tell nothing, would give no clue, though she certainly knew all. he, her father, a well-meaning, but not a quick-sighted man, could really, i believe, give no information; for he had been generally confined to the house, while the girls were ranging over the town and making what acquaintance they chose; and he tried to convince me, as thoroughly as he was convinced himself, of his daughter's being entirely unconcerned in the business. in short, i could learn nothing but that she was gone; all the rest, for eight long months, was left to conjecture. what i thought, what i feared, may be imagined; and what i suffered too." "good heavens!" cried elinor, "could it be--could willoughby!"-"the first news that reached me of her," he continued, "came in a letter from herself, last october. it was forwarded to me from delaford, and i received it on the very morning of our intended party to whitwell; and this was the reason of my leaving barton so suddenly, which i am sure must at the time have appeared strange to every body, and which i believe gave offence to some. little did mr. willoughby imagine, i suppose, when his looks censured me for incivility in breaking up the party, that i was called away to the relief of one whom he had made poor and miserable; but had he known it, what would it have availed? would he have been less gay or less happy in the smiles of your sister? no, he had already done that, which no man who can feel for another would do. he had left the girl whose youth and innocence he had seduced, in a situation of the utmost distress, with no creditable home, no help, no friends, ignorant of his address! he had left her, promising to return; he neither returned, nor wrote, nor relieved her." "this is beyond every thing!" exclaimed elinor. "his character is now before you; expensive, dissipated, and worse than both. knowing all this, as i have now known it many weeks, guess what i must have felt on seeing your sister as fond of him as ever, and on being assured that she was to marry him: guess what i must have felt for all your sakes. when i came to you last week and found you alone, i came determined to know the truth; though irresolute what to do when it was known. my behaviour must have seemed strange to you then; but now you will comprehend it. to suffer you all to be so deceived; to see your sister--but what could i do? i had no hope of interfering with success; and sometimes i thought your sister's influence might yet reclaim him. but now, after such dishonorable usage, who can tell what were his designs on her. whatever they may have been, however, she may now, and hereafter doubtless will turn with gratitude towards her own condition, when she compares it with that of my poor eliza, when she considers the wretched and hopeless situation of this poor girl, and pictures her to herself, with an affection for him so strong, still as strong as her own, and with a mind tormented by self-reproach, which must attend her through life. surely this comparison must have its use with her. she will feel her own sufferings to be nothing. they proceed from no misconduct, and can bring no disgrace. on the contrary, every friend must be made still more her friend by them. concern for her unhappiness, and respect for her fortitude under it, must strengthen every attachment. use your own discretion, however, in communicating to her what i have told you. you must know best what will be its effect; but had i not seriously, and from my heart believed it might be of service, might lessen her regrets, i would not have suffered myself to trouble you with this account of my family afflictions, with a recital which may seem to have been intended to raise myself at the expense of others." elinor's thanks followed this speech with grateful earnestness; attended too with the assurance of her expecting material advantage to marianne, from the communication of what had passed. "i have been more pained," said she, "by her endeavors to acquit him than by all the rest; for it irritates her mind more than the most perfect conviction of his unworthiness can do. now, though at first she will suffer much, i am sure she will soon become easier. have you," she continued, after a short silence, "ever seen mr. willoughby since you left him at barton?" "yes," he replied gravely, "once i have. one meeting was unavoidable." elinor, startled by his manner, looked at him anxiously, saying, "what? have you met him to--" "i could meet him no other way. eliza had confessed to me, though most reluctantly, the name of her lover; and when he returned to town, which was within a fortnight after myself, we met by appointment, he to defend, i to punish his conduct. we returned unwounded, and the meeting, therefore, never got abroad." elinor sighed over the fancied necessity of this; but to a man and a soldier she presumed not to censure it. "such," said colonel brandon, after a pause, "has been the unhappy resemblance between the fate of mother and daughter! and so imperfectly have i discharged my trust!" "is she still in town?" "no; as soon as she recovered from her lying-in, for i found her near her delivery, i removed her and her child into the country, and there she remains." recollecting, soon afterwards, that he was probably dividing elinor from her sister, he put an end to his visit, receiving from her again the same grateful acknowledgments, and leaving her full of compassion and esteem for him. chapter 32 when the particulars of this conversation were repeated by miss dashwood to her sister, as they very soon were, the effect on her was not entirely such as the former had hoped to see. not that marianne appeared to distrust the truth of any part of it, for she listened to it all with the most steady and submissive attention, made neither objection nor remark, attempted no vindication of willoughby, and seemed to shew by her tears that she felt it to be impossible. but though this behaviour assured elinor that the conviction of this guilt was carried home to her mind, though she saw with satisfaction the effect of it, in her no longer avoiding colonel brandon when he called, in her speaking to him, even voluntarily speaking, with a kind of compassionate respect, and though she saw her spirits less violently irritated than before, she did not see her less wretched. her mind did become settled, but it was settled in a gloomy dejection. she felt the loss of willoughby's character yet more heavily than she had felt the loss of his heart; his seduction and desertion of miss williams, the misery of that poor girl, and the doubt of what his designs might once have been on herself, preyed altogether so much on her spirits, that she could not bring herself to speak of what she felt even to elinor; and, brooding over her sorrows in silence, gave more pain to her sister than could have been communicated by the most open and most frequent confession of them. to give the feelings or the language of mrs. dashwood on receiving and answering elinor's letter would be only to give a repetition of what her daughters had already felt and said; of a disappointment hardly less painful than marianne's, and an indignation even greater than elinor's. long letters from her, quickly succeeding each other, arrived to tell all that she suffered and thought; to express her anxious solicitude for marianne, and entreat she would bear up with fortitude under this misfortune. bad indeed must the nature of marianne's affliction be, when her mother could talk of fortitude! mortifying and humiliating must be the origin of those regrets, which she could wish her not to indulge! against the interest of her own individual comfort, mrs. dashwood had determined that it would be better for marianne to be any where, at that time, than at barton, where every thing within her view would be bringing back the past in the strongest and most afflicting manner, by constantly placing willoughby before her, such as she had always seen him there. she recommended it to her daughters, therefore, by all means not to shorten their visit to mrs. jennings; the length of which, though never exactly fixed, had been expected by all to comprise at least five or six weeks. a variety of occupations, of objects, and of company, which could not be procured at barton, would be inevitable there, and might yet, she hoped, cheat marianne, at times, into some interest beyond herself, and even into some amusement, much as the ideas of both might now be spurned by her. from all danger of seeing willoughby again, her mother considered her to be at least equally safe in town as in the country, since his acquaintance must now be dropped by all who called themselves her friends. design could never bring them in each other's way: negligence could never leave them exposed to a surprise; and chance had less in its favour in the crowd of london than even in the retirement of barton, where it might force him before her while paying that visit at allenham on his marriage, which mrs. dashwood, from foreseeing at first as a probable event, had brought herself to expect as a certain one. she had yet another reason for wishing her children to remain where they were; a letter from her son-in-law had told her that he and his wife were to be in town before the middle of february, and she judged it right that they should sometimes see their brother. marianne had promised to be guided by her mother's opinion, and she submitted to it therefore without opposition, though it proved perfectly different from what she wished and expected, though she felt it to be entirely wrong, formed on mistaken grounds, and that by requiring her longer continuance in london it deprived her of the only possible alleviation of her wretchedness, the personal sympathy of her mother, and doomed her to such society and such scenes as must prevent her ever knowing a moment's rest. but it was a matter of great consolation to her, that what brought evil to herself would bring good to her sister; and elinor, on the other hand, suspecting that it would not be in her power to avoid edward entirely, comforted herself by thinking, that though their longer stay would therefore militate against her own happiness, it would be better for marianne than an immediate return into devonshire. her carefulness in guarding her sister from ever hearing willoughby's name mentioned, was not thrown away. marianne, though without knowing it herself, reaped all its advantage; for neither mrs. jennings, nor sir john, nor even mrs. palmer herself, ever spoke of him before her. elinor wished that the same forbearance could have extended towards herself, but that was impossible, and she was obliged to listen day after day to the indignation of them all. sir john, could not have thought it possible. "a man of whom he had always had such reason to think well! such a good-natured fellow! he did not believe there was a bolder rider in england! it was an unaccountable business. he wished him at the devil with all his heart. he would not speak another word to him, meet him where he might, for all the world! no, not if it were to be by the side of barton covert, and they were kept watching for two hours together. such a scoundrel of a fellow! such a deceitful dog! it was only the last time they met that he had offered him one of folly's puppies! and this was the end of it!" mrs. palmer, in her way, was equally angry. "she was determined to drop his acquaintance immediately, and she was very thankful that she had never been acquainted with him at all. she wished with all her heart combe magna was not so near cleveland; but it did not signify, for it was a great deal too far off to visit; she hated him so much that she was resolved never to mention his name again, and she should tell everybody she saw, how good-for-nothing he was." the rest of mrs. palmer's sympathy was shewn in procuring all the particulars in her power of the approaching marriage, and communicating them to elinor. she could soon tell at what coachmaker's the new carriage was building, by what painter mr. willoughby's portrait was drawn, and at what warehouse miss grey's clothes might be seen. the calm and polite unconcern of lady middleton on the occasion was a happy relief to elinor's spirits, oppressed as they often were by the clamorous kindness of the others. it was a great comfort to her to be sure of exciting no interest in one person at least among their circle of friends: a great comfort to know that there was one who would meet her without feeling any curiosity after particulars, or any anxiety for her sister's health. every qualification is raised at times, by the circumstances of the moment, to more than its real value; and she was sometimes worried down by officious condolence to rate good-breeding as more indispensable to comfort than good-nature. lady middleton expressed her sense of the affair about once every day, or twice, if the subject occurred very often, by saying, "it is very shocking, indeed!" and by the means of this continual though gentle vent, was able not only to see the miss dashwoods from the first without the smallest emotion, but very soon to see them without recollecting a word of the matter; and having thus supported the dignity of her own sex, and spoken her decided censure of what was wrong in the other, she thought herself at liberty to attend to the interest of her own assemblies, and therefore determined (though rather against the opinion of sir john) that as mrs. willoughby would at once be a woman of elegance and fortune, to leave her card with her as soon as she married. colonel brandon's delicate, unobtrusive enquiries were never unwelcome to miss dashwood. he had abundantly earned the privilege of intimate discussion of her sister's disappointment, by the friendly zeal with which he had endeavoured to soften it, and they always conversed with confidence. his chief reward for the painful exertion of disclosing past sorrows and present humiliations, was given in the pitying eye with which marianne sometimes observed him, and the gentleness of her voice whenever (though it did not often happen) she was obliged, or could oblige herself to speak to him. these assured him that his exertion had produced an increase of good-will towards himself, and these gave elinor hopes of its being farther augmented hereafter; but mrs. jennings, who knew nothing of all this, who knew only that the colonel continued as grave as ever, and that she could neither prevail on him to make the offer himself, nor commission her to make it for him, began, at the end of two days, to think that, instead of midsummer, they would not be married till michaelmas, and by the end of a week that it would not be a match at all. the good understanding between the colonel and miss dashwood seemed rather to declare that the honours of the mulberry-tree, the canal, and the yew arbour, would all be made over to her; and mrs. jennings had, for some time ceased to think at all of mrs. ferrars. early in february, within a fortnight from the receipt of willoughby's letter, elinor had the painful office of informing her sister that he was married. she had taken care to have the intelligence conveyed to herself, as soon as it was known that the ceremony was over, as she was desirous that marianne should not receive the first notice of it from the public papers, which she saw her eagerly examining every morning. she received the news with resolute composure; made no observation on it, and at first shed no tears; but after a short time they would burst out, and for the rest of the day, she was in a state hardly less pitiable than when she first learnt to expect the event. the willoughbys left town as soon as they were married; and elinor now hoped, as there could be no danger of her seeing either of them, to prevail on her sister, who had never yet left the house since the blow first fell, to go out again by degrees as she had done before. about this time the two miss steeles, lately arrived at their cousin's house in bartlett's buildings, holburn, presented themselves again before their more grand relations in conduit and berkeley streets; and were welcomed by them all with great cordiality. elinor only was sorry to see them. their presence always gave her pain, and she hardly knew how to make a very gracious return to the overpowering delight of lucy in finding her still in town. "i should have been quite disappointed if i had not found you here still," said she repeatedly, with a strong emphasis on the word. "but i always thought i should. i was almost sure you would not leave london yet awhile; though you told me, you know, at barton, that you should not stay above a month. but i thought, at the time, that you would most likely change your mind when it came to the point. it would have been such a great pity to have went away before your brother and sister came. and now to be sure you will be in no hurry to be gone. i am amazingly glad you did not keep to your word." elinor perfectly understood her, and was forced to use all her self-command to make it appear that she did not. "well, my dear," said mrs. jennings, "and how did you travel?" "not in the stage, i assure you," replied miss steele, with quick exultation; "we came post all the way, and had a very smart beau to attend us. dr. davies was coming to town, and so we thought we'd join him in a post-chaise; and he behaved very genteelly, and paid ten or twelve shillings more than we did." "oh, oh!" cried mrs. jennings; "very pretty, indeed! and the doctor is a single man, i warrant you." "there now," said miss steele, affectedly simpering, "everybody laughs at me so about the doctor, and i cannot think why. my cousins say they are sure i have made a conquest; but for my part i declare i never think about him from one hour's end to another. 'lord! here comes your beau, nancy,' my cousin said t'other day, when she saw him crossing the street to the house. my beau, indeed! said i--i cannot think who you mean. the doctor is no beau of mine." "aye, aye, that is very pretty talking--but it won't do--the doctor is the man, i see." "no, indeed!" replied her cousin, with affected earnestness, "and i beg you will contradict it, if you ever hear it talked of." mrs. jennings directly gave her the gratifying assurance that she certainly would not, and miss steele was made completely happy. "i suppose you will go and stay with your brother and sister, miss dashwood, when they come to town," said lucy, returning, after a cessation of hostile hints, to the charge. "no, i do not think we shall." "oh, yes, i dare say you will." elinor would not humour her by farther opposition. "what a charming thing it is that mrs. dashwood can spare you both for so long a time together!" "long a time, indeed!" interposed mrs. jennings. "why, their visit is but just begun!" lucy was silenced. "i am sorry we cannot see your sister, miss dashwood," said miss steele. "i am sorry she is not well--" for marianne had left the room on their arrival. "you are very good. my sister will be equally sorry to miss the pleasure of seeing you; but she has been very much plagued lately with nervous head-aches, which make her unfit for company or conversation." "oh, dear, that is a great pity! but such old friends as lucy and me!--i think she might see us; and i am sure we would not speak a word." elinor, with great civility, declined the proposal. her sister was perhaps laid down upon the bed, or in her dressing gown, and therefore not able to come to them. "oh, if that's all," cried miss steele, "we can just as well go and see her." elinor began to find this impertinence too much for her temper; but she was saved the trouble of checking it, by lucy's sharp reprimand, which now, as on many occasions, though it did not give much sweetness to the manners of one sister, was of advantage in governing those of the other. chapter 33 after some opposition, marianne yielded to her sister's entreaties, and consented to go out with her and mrs. jennings one morning for half an hour. she expressly conditioned, however, for paying no visits, and would do no more than accompany them to gray's in sackville street, where elinor was carrying on a negotiation for the exchange of a few old-fashioned jewels of her mother. when they stopped at the door, mrs. jennings recollected that there was a lady at the other end of the street on whom she ought to call; and as she had no business at gray's, it was resolved, that while her young friends transacted their's, she should pay her visit and return for them. on ascending the stairs, the miss dashwoods found so many people before them in the room, that there was not a person at liberty to tend to their orders; and they were obliged to wait. all that could be done was, to sit down at that end of the counter which seemed to promise the quickest succession; one gentleman only was standing there, and it is probable that elinor was not without hope of exciting his politeness to a quicker despatch. but the correctness of his eye, and the delicacy of his taste, proved to be beyond his politeness. he was giving orders for a toothpick-case for himself, and till its size, shape, and ornaments were determined, all of which, after examining and debating for a quarter of an hour over every toothpick-case in the shop, were finally arranged by his own inventive fancy, he had no leisure to bestow any other attention on the two ladies, than what was comprised in three or four very broad stares; a kind of notice which served to imprint on elinor the remembrance of a person and face, of strong, natural, sterling insignificance, though adorned in the first style of fashion. marianne was spared from the troublesome feelings of contempt and resentment, on this impertinent examination of their features, and on the puppyism of his manner in deciding on all the different horrors of the different toothpick-cases presented to his inspection, by remaining unconscious of it all; for she was as well able to collect her thoughts within herself, and be as ignorant of what was passing around her, in mr. gray's shop, as in her own bedroom. at last the affair was decided. the ivory, the gold, and the pearls, all received their appointment, and the gentleman having named the last day on which his existence could be continued without the possession of the toothpick-case, drew on his gloves with leisurely care, and bestowing another glance on the miss dashwoods, but such a one as seemed rather to demand than express admiration, walked off with a happy air of real conceit and affected indifference. elinor lost no time in bringing her business forward, was on the point of concluding it, when another gentleman presented himself at her side. she turned her eyes towards his face, and found him with some surprise to be her brother. their affection and pleasure in meeting was just enough to make a very creditable appearance in mr. gray's shop. john dashwood was really far from being sorry to see his sisters again; it rather gave them satisfaction; and his inquiries after their mother were respectful and attentive. elinor found that he and fanny had been in town two days. "i wished very much to call upon you yesterday," said he, "but it was impossible, for we were obliged to take harry to see the wild beasts at exeter exchange; and we spent the rest of the day with mrs. ferrars. harry was vastly pleased. this morning i had fully intended to call on you, if i could possibly find a spare half hour, but one has always so much to do on first coming to town. i am come here to bespeak fanny a seal. but tomorrow i think i shall certainly be able to call in berkeley street, and be introduced to your friend mrs. jennings. i understand she is a woman of very good fortune. and the middletons too, you must introduce me to them. as my mother-in-law's relations, i shall be happy to show them every respect. they are excellent neighbours to you in the country, i understand." "excellent indeed. their attention to our comfort, their friendliness in every particular, is more than i can express." "i am extremely glad to hear it, upon my word; extremely glad indeed. but so it ought to be; they are people of large fortune, they are related to you, and every civility and accommodation that can serve to make your situation pleasant might be reasonably expected. and so you are most comfortably settled in your little cottage and want for nothing! edward brought us a most charming account of the place: the most complete thing of its kind, he said, that ever was, and you all seemed to enjoy it beyond any thing. it was a great satisfaction to us to hear it, i assure you." elinor did feel a little ashamed of her brother; and was not sorry to be spared the necessity of answering him, by the arrival of mrs. jennings's servant, who came to tell her that his mistress waited for them at the door. mr. dashwood attended them down stairs, was introduced to mrs. jennings at the door of her carriage, and repeating his hope of being able to call on them the next day, took leave. his visit was duly paid. he came with a pretence at an apology from their sister-in-law, for not coming too; "but she was so much engaged with her mother, that really she had no leisure for going any where." mrs. jennings, however, assured him directly, that she should not stand upon ceremony, for they were all cousins, or something like it, and she should certainly wait on mrs. john dashwood very soon, and bring her sisters to see her. his manners to them, though calm, were perfectly kind; to mrs. jennings, most attentively civil; and on colonel brandon's coming in soon after himself, he eyed him with a curiosity which seemed to say, that he only wanted to know him to be rich, to be equally civil to him. after staying with them half an hour, he asked elinor to walk with him to conduit street, and introduce him to sir john and lady middleton. the weather was remarkably fine, and she readily consented. as soon as they were out of the house, his enquiries began. "who is colonel brandon? is he a man of fortune?" "yes; he has very good property in dorsetshire." "i am glad of it. he seems a most gentlemanlike man; and i think, elinor, i may congratulate you on the prospect of a very respectable establishment in life." "me, brother! what do you mean?" "he likes you. i observed him narrowly, and am convinced of it. what is the amount of his fortune?" "i believe about two thousand a year." "two thousand a-year;" and then working himself up to a pitch of enthusiastic generosity, he added, "elinor, i wish with all my heart it were twice as much, for your sake." "indeed i believe you," replied elinor; "but i am very sure that colonel brandon has not the smallest wish of marrying me." "you are mistaken, elinor; you are very much mistaken. a very little trouble on your side secures him. perhaps just at present he may be undecided; the smallness of your fortune may make him hang back; his friends may all advise him against it. but some of those little attentions and encouragements which ladies can so easily give will fix him, in spite of himself. and there can be no reason why you should not try for him. it is not to be supposed that any prior attachment on your side--in short, you know as to an attachment of that kind, it is quite out of the question, the objections are insurmountable--you have too much sense not to see all that. colonel brandon must be the man; and no civility shall be wanting on my part to make him pleased with you and your family. it is a match that must give universal satisfaction. in short, it is a kind of thing that"--lowering his voice to an important whisper--"will be exceedingly welcome to all parties." recollecting himself, however, he added, "that is, i mean to say--your friends are all truly anxious to see you well settled; fanny particularly, for she has your interest very much at heart, i assure you. and her mother too, mrs. ferrars, a very good-natured woman, i am sure it would give her great pleasure; she said as much the other day." elinor would not vouchsafe any answer. "it would be something remarkable, now," he continued, "something droll, if fanny should have a brother and i a sister settling at the same time. and yet it is not very unlikely." "is mr. edward ferrars," said elinor, with resolution, "going to be married?" "it is not actually settled, but there is such a thing in agitation. he has a most excellent mother. mrs. ferrars, with the utmost liberality, will come forward, and settle on him a thousand a year, if the match takes place. the lady is the hon. miss morton, only daughter of the late lord morton, with thirty thousand pounds. a very desirable connection on both sides, and i have not a doubt of its taking place in time. a thousand a-year is a great deal for a mother to give away, to make over for ever; but mrs. ferrars has a noble spirit. to give you another instance of her liberality:--the other day, as soon as we came to town, aware that money could not be very plenty with us just now, she put bank-notes into fanny's hands to the amount of two hundred pounds. and extremely acceptable it is, for we must live at a great expense while we are here." he paused for her assent and compassion; and she forced herself to say, "your expenses both in town and country must certainly be considerable; but your income is a large one." "not so large, i dare say, as many people suppose. i do not mean to complain, however; it is undoubtedly a comfortable one, and i hope will in time be better. the enclosure of norland common, now carrying on, is a most serious drain. and then i have made a little purchase within this half year; east kingham farm, you must remember the place, where old gibson used to live. the land was so very desirable for me in every respect, so immediately adjoining my own property, that i felt it my duty to buy it. i could not have answered it to my conscience to let it fall into any other hands. a man must pay for his convenience; and it has cost me a vast deal of money." "more than you think it really and intrinsically worth." "why, i hope not that. i might have sold it again, the next day, for more than i gave: but, with regard to the purchase-money, i might have been very unfortunate indeed; for the stocks were at that time so low, that if i had not happened to have the necessary sum in my banker's hands, i must have sold out to very great loss." elinor could only smile. "other great and inevitable expenses too we have had on first coming to norland. our respected father, as you well know, bequeathed all the stanhill effects that remained at norland (and very valuable they were) to your mother. far be it from me to repine at his doing so; he had an undoubted right to dispose of his own property as he chose, but, in consequence of it, we have been obliged to make large purchases of linen, china, &c. to supply the place of what was taken away. you may guess, after all these expenses, how very far we must be from being rich, and how acceptable mrs. ferrars's kindness is." "certainly," said elinor; "and assisted by her liberality, i hope you may yet live to be in easy circumstances." "another year or two may do much towards it," he gravely replied; "but however there is still a great deal to be done. there is not a stone laid of fanny's green-house, and nothing but the plan of the flower-garden marked out." "where is the green-house to be?" "upon the knoll behind the house. the old walnut trees are all come down to make room for it. it will be a very fine object from many parts of the park, and the flower-garden will slope down just before it, and be exceedingly pretty. we have cleared away all the old thorns that grew in patches over the brow." elinor kept her concern and her censure to herself; and was very thankful that marianne was not present, to share the provocation. having now said enough to make his poverty clear, and to do away the necessity of buying a pair of ear-rings for each of his sisters, in his next visit at gray's his thoughts took a cheerfuller turn, and he began to congratulate elinor on having such a friend as mrs. jennings. "she seems a most valuable woman indeed--her house, her style of living, all bespeak an exceeding good income; and it is an acquaintance that has not only been of great use to you hitherto, but in the end may prove materially advantageous.--her inviting you to town is certainly a vast thing in your favour; and indeed, it speaks altogether so great a regard for you, that in all probability when she dies you will not be forgotten.-she must have a great deal to leave." "nothing at all, i should rather suppose; for she has only her jointure, which will descend to her children." "but it is not to be imagined that she lives up to her income. few people of common prudence will do that; and whatever she saves, she will be able to dispose of." "and do you not think it more likely that she should leave it to her daughters, than to us?" "her daughters are both exceedingly well married, and therefore i cannot perceive the necessity of her remembering them farther. whereas, in my opinion, by her taking so much notice of you, and treating you in this kind of way, she has given you a sort of claim on her future consideration, which a conscientious woman would not disregard. nothing can be kinder than her behaviour; and she can hardly do all this, without being aware of the expectation it raises." "but she raises none in those most concerned. indeed, brother, your anxiety for our welfare and prosperity carries you too far." "why, to be sure," said he, seeming to recollect himself, "people have little, have very little in their power. but, my dear elinor, what is the matter with marianne?-she looks very unwell, has lost her colour, and is grown quite thin. is she ill?" "she is not well, she has had a nervous complaint on her for several weeks." "i am sorry for that. at her time of life, any thing of an illness destroys the bloom for ever! hers has been a very short one! she was as handsome a girl last september, as i ever saw; and as likely to attract the man. there was something in her style of beauty, to please them particularly. i remember fanny used to say that she would marry sooner and better than you did; not but what she is exceedingly fond of you, but so it happened to strike her. she will be mistaken, however. i question whether marianne now, will marry a man worth more than five or six hundred a-year, at the utmost, and i am very much deceived if you do not do better. dorsetshire! i know very little of dorsetshire; but, my dear elinor, i shall be exceedingly glad to know more of it; and i think i can answer for your having fanny and myself among the earliest and best pleased of your visitors." elinor tried very seriously to convince him that there was no likelihood of her marrying colonel brandon; but it was an expectation of too much pleasure to himself to be relinquished, and he was really resolved on seeking an intimacy with that gentleman, and promoting the marriage by every possible attention. he had just compunction enough for having done nothing for his sisters himself, to be exceedingly anxious that everybody else should do a great deal; and an offer from colonel brandon, or a legacy from mrs. jennings, was the easiest means of atoning for his own neglect. they were lucky enough to find lady middleton at home, and sir john came in before their visit ended. abundance of civilities passed on all sides. sir john was ready to like anybody, and though mr. dashwood did not seem to know much about horses, he soon set him down as a very good-natured fellow: while lady middleton saw enough of fashion in his appearance to think his acquaintance worth having; and mr. dashwood went away delighted with both. "i shall have a charming account to carry to fanny," said he, as he walked back with his sister. "lady middleton is really a most elegant woman! such a woman as i am sure fanny will be glad to know. and mrs. jennings too, an exceedingly well-behaved woman, though not so elegant as her daughter. your sister need not have any scruple even of visiting her, which, to say the truth, has been a little the case, and very naturally; for we only knew that mrs. jennings was the widow of a man who had got all his money in a low way; and fanny and mrs. ferrars were both strongly prepossessed, that neither she nor her daughters were such kind of women as fanny would like to associate with. but now i can carry her a most satisfactory account of both." chapter 34 mrs. john dashwood had so much confidence in her husband's judgment, that she waited the very next day both on mrs. jennings and her daughter; and her confidence was rewarded by finding even the former, even the woman with whom her sisters were staying, by no means unworthy her notice; and as for lady middleton, she found her one of the most charming women in the world! lady middleton was equally pleased with mrs. dashwood. there was a kind of cold hearted selfishness on both sides, which mutually attracted them; and they sympathised with each other in an insipid propriety of demeanor, and a general want of understanding. the same manners, however, which recommended mrs. john dashwood to the good opinion of lady middleton did not suit the fancy of mrs. jennings, and to her she appeared nothing more than a little proud-looking woman of uncordial address, who met her husband's sisters without any affection, and almost without having anything to say to them; for of the quarter of an hour bestowed on berkeley street, she sat at least seven minutes and a half in silence. elinor wanted very much to know, though she did not chuse to ask, whether edward was then in town; but nothing would have induced fanny voluntarily to mention his name before her, till able to tell her that his marriage with miss morton was resolved on, or till her husband's expectations on colonel brandon were answered; because she believed them still so very much attached to each other, that they could not be too sedulously divided in word and deed on every occasion. the intelligence however, which she would not give, soon flowed from another quarter. lucy came very shortly to claim elinor's compassion on being unable to see edward, though he had arrived in town with mr. and mrs. dashwood. he dared not come to bartlett's buildings for fear of detection, and though their mutual impatience to meet, was not to be told, they could do nothing at present but write. edward assured them himself of his being in town, within a very short time, by twice calling in berkeley street. twice was his card found on the table, when they returned from their morning's engagements. elinor was pleased that he had called; and still more pleased that she had missed him. the dashwoods were so prodigiously delighted with the middletons, that, though not much in the habit of giving anything, they determined to give them--a dinner; and soon after their acquaintance began, invited them to dine in harley street, where they had taken a very good house for three months. their sisters and mrs. jennings were invited likewise, and john dashwood was careful to secure colonel brandon, who, always glad to be where the miss dashwoods were, received his eager civilities with some surprise, but much more pleasure. they were to meet mrs. ferrars; but elinor could not learn whether her sons were to be of the party. the expectation of seeing her, however, was enough to make her interested in the engagement; for though she could now meet edward's mother without that strong anxiety which had once promised to attend such an introduction, though she could now see her with perfect indifference as to her opinion of herself, her desire of being in company with mrs. ferrars, her curiosity to know what she was like, was as lively as ever. the interest with which she thus anticipated the party, was soon afterwards increased, more powerfully than pleasantly, by her hearing that the miss steeles were also to be at it. so well had they recommended themselves to lady middleton, so agreeable had their assiduities made them to her, that though lucy was certainly not so elegant, and her sister not even genteel, she was as ready as sir john to ask them to spend a week or two in conduit street; and it happened to be particularly convenient to the miss steeles, as soon as the dashwoods' invitation was known, that their visit should begin a few days before the party took place. their claims to the notice of mrs. john dashwood, as the nieces of the gentleman who for many years had had the care of her brother, might not have done much, however, towards procuring them seats at her table; but as lady middleton's guests they must be welcome; and lucy, who had long wanted to be personally known to the family, to have a nearer view of their characters and her own difficulties, and to have an opportunity of endeavouring to please them, had seldom been happier in her life, than she was on receiving mrs. john dashwood's card. on elinor its effect was very different. she began immediately to determine, that edward who lived with his mother, must be asked as his mother was, to a party given by his sister; and to see him for the first time, after all that passed, in the company of lucy!--she hardly knew how she could bear it! these apprehensions, perhaps, were not founded entirely on reason, and certainly not at all on truth. they were relieved however, not by her own recollection, but by the good will of lucy, who believed herself to be inflicting a severe disappointment when she told her that edward certainly would not be in harley street on tuesday, and even hoped to be carrying the pain still farther by persuading her that he was kept away by the extreme affection for herself, which he could not conceal when they were together. the important tuesday came that was to introduce the two young ladies to this formidable mother-in-law. "pity me, dear miss dashwood!" said lucy, as they walked up the stairs together--for the middletons arrived so directly after mrs. jennings, that they all followed the servant at the same time--"there is nobody here but you, that can feel for me.--i declare i can hardly stand. good gracious!--in a moment i shall see the person that all my happiness depends on--that is to be my mother!"-elinor could have given her immediate relief by suggesting the possibility of its being miss morton's mother, rather than her own, whom they were about to behold; but instead of doing that, she assured her, and with great sincerity, that she did pity her--to the utter amazement of lucy, who, though really uncomfortable herself, hoped at least to be an object of irrepressible envy to elinor. mrs. ferrars was a little, thin woman, upright, even to formality, in her figure, and serious, even to sourness, in her aspect. her complexion was sallow; and her features small, without beauty, and naturally without expression; but a lucky contraction of the brow had rescued her countenance from the disgrace of insipidity, by giving it the strong characters of pride and ill nature. she was not a woman of many words; for, unlike people in general, she proportioned them to the number of her ideas; and of the few syllables that did escape her, not one fell to the share of miss dashwood, whom she eyed with the spirited determination of disliking her at all events. elinor could not now be made unhappy by this behaviour.-a few months ago it would have hurt her exceedingly; but it was not in mrs. ferrars' power to distress her by it now;--and the difference of her manners to the miss steeles, a difference which seemed purposely made to humble her more, only amused her. she could not but smile to see the graciousness of both mother and daughter towards the very person-for lucy was particularly distinguished--whom of all others, had they known as much as she did, they would have been most anxious to mortify; while she herself, who had comparatively no power to wound them, sat pointedly slighted by both. but while she smiled at a graciousness so misapplied, she could not reflect on the mean-spirited folly from which it sprung, nor observe the studied attentions with which the miss steeles courted its continuance, without thoroughly despising them all four. lucy was all exultation on being so honorably distinguished; and miss steele wanted only to be teazed about dr. davies to be perfectly happy. the dinner was a grand one, the servants were numerous, and every thing bespoke the mistress's inclination for show, and the master's ability to support it. in spite of the improvements and additions which were making to the norland estate, and in spite of its owner having once been within some thousand pounds of being obliged to sell out at a loss, nothing gave any symptom of that indigence which he had tried to infer from it;--no poverty of any kind, except of conversation, appeared--but there, the deficiency was considerable. john dashwood had not much to say for himself that was worth hearing, and his wife had still less. but there was no peculiar disgrace in this; for it was very much the case with the chief of their visitors, who almost all laboured under one or other of these disqualifications for being agreeable--want of sense, either natural or improved--want of elegance--want of spirits--or want of temper. when the ladies withdrew to the drawing-room after dinner, this poverty was particularly evident, for the gentlemen had supplied the discourse with some variety--the variety of politics, inclosing land, and breaking horses--but then it was all over; and one subject only engaged the ladies till coffee came in, which was the comparative heights of harry dashwood, and lady middleton's second son william, who were nearly of the same age. had both the children been there, the affair might have been determined too easily by measuring them at once; but as harry only was present, it was all conjectural assertion on both sides; and every body had a right to be equally positive in their opinion, and to repeat it over and over again as often as they liked. the parties stood thus: the two mothers, though each really convinced that her own son was the tallest, politely decided in favour of the other. the two grandmothers, with not less partiality, but more sincerity, were equally earnest in support of their own descendant. lucy, who was hardly less anxious to please one parent than the other, thought the boys were both remarkably tall for their age, and could not conceive that there could be the smallest difference in the world between them; and miss steele, with yet greater address gave it, as fast as she could, in favour of each. elinor, having once delivered her opinion on william's side, by which she offended mrs. ferrars and fanny still more, did not see the necessity of enforcing it by any farther assertion; and marianne, when called on for hers, offended them all, by declaring that she had no opinion to give, as she had never thought about it. before her removing from norland, elinor had painted a very pretty pair of screens for her sister-in-law, which being now just mounted and brought home, ornamented her present drawing room; and these screens, catching the eye of john dashwood on his following the other gentlemen into the room, were officiously handed by him to colonel brandon for his admiration. "these are done by my eldest sister," said he; "and you, as a man of taste, will, i dare say, be pleased with them. i do not know whether you have ever happened to see any of her performances before, but she is in general reckoned to draw extremely well." the colonel, though disclaiming all pretensions to connoisseurship, warmly admired the screens, as he would have done any thing painted by miss dashwood; and on the curiosity of the others being of course excited, they were handed round for general inspection. mrs. ferrars, not aware of their being elinor's work, particularly requested to look at them; and after they had received gratifying testimony of lady middletons's approbation, fanny presented them to her mother, considerately informing her, at the same time, that they were done by miss dashwood. "hum"--said mrs. ferrars--"very pretty,"--and without regarding them at all, returned them to her daughter. perhaps fanny thought for a moment that her mother had been quite rude enough,--for, colouring a little, she immediately said, "they are very pretty, ma'am--an't they?" but then again, the dread of having been too civil, too encouraging herself, probably came over her, for she presently added, "do you not think they are something in miss morton's style of painting, ma'am?--she does paint most delightfully!--how beautifully her last landscape is done!" "beautifully indeed! but she does every thing well." marianne could not bear this.--she was already greatly displeased with mrs. ferrars; and such ill-timed praise of another, at elinor's expense, though she had not any notion of what was principally meant by it, provoked her immediately to say with warmth, "this is admiration of a very particular kind!--what is miss morton to us?--who knows, or who cares, for her?--it is elinor of whom we think and speak." and so saying, she took the screens out of her sister-in-law's hands, to admire them herself as they ought to be admired. mrs. ferrars looked exceedingly angry, and drawing herself up more stiffly than ever, pronounced in retort this bitter philippic, "miss morton is lord morton's daughter." fanny looked very angry too, and her husband was all in a fright at his sister's audacity. elinor was much more hurt by marianne's warmth than she had been by what produced it; but colonel brandon's eyes, as they were fixed on marianne, declared that he noticed only what was amiable in it, the affectionate heart which could not bear to see a sister slighted in the smallest point. marianne's feelings did not stop here. the cold insolence of mrs. ferrars's general behaviour to her sister, seemed, to her, to foretell such difficulties and distresses to elinor, as her own wounded heart taught her to think of with horror; and urged by a strong impulse of affectionate sensibility, she moved after a moment, to her sister's chair, and putting one arm round her neck, and one cheek close to hers, said in a low, but eager, voice, "dear, dear elinor, don't mind them. don't let them make you unhappy." she could say no more; her spirits were quite overcome, and hiding her face on elinor's shoulder, she burst into tears. every body's attention was called, and almost every body was concerned.--colonel brandon rose up and went to them without knowing what he did.--mrs. jennings, with a very intelligent "ah! poor dear," immediately gave her her salts; and sir john felt so desperately enraged against the author of this nervous distress, that he instantly changed his seat to one close by lucy steele, and gave her, in a whisper, a brief account of the whole shocking affair. in a few minutes, however, marianne was recovered enough to put an end to the bustle, and sit down among the rest; though her spirits retained the impression of what had passed, the whole evening. "poor marianne!" said her brother to colonel brandon, in a low voice, as soon as he could secure his attention,-"she has not such good health as her sister,--she is very nervous,--she has not elinor's constitution;--and one must allow that there is something very trying to a young woman who has been a beauty in the loss of her personal attractions. you would not think it perhaps, but marianne was remarkably handsome a few months ago; quite as handsome as elinor.-now you see it is all gone." chapter 35 elinor's curiosity to see mrs. ferrars was satisfied.-she had found in her every thing that could tend to make a farther connection between the families undesirable.-she had seen enough of her pride, her meanness, and her determined prejudice against herself, to comprehend all the difficulties that must have perplexed the engagement, and retarded the marriage, of edward and herself, had he been otherwise free;--and she had seen almost enough to be thankful for her own sake, that one greater obstacle preserved her from suffering under any other of mrs. ferrars's creation, preserved her from all dependence upon her caprice, or any solicitude for her good opinion. or at least, if she did not bring herself quite to rejoice in edward's being fettered to lucy, she determined, that had lucy been more amiable, she ought to have rejoiced. she wondered that lucy's spirits could be so very much elevated by the civility of mrs. ferrars;--that her interest and her vanity should so very much blind her as to make the attention which seemed only paid her because she was not elinor, appear a compliment to herself--or to allow her to derive encouragement from a preference only given her, because her real situation was unknown. but that it was so, had not only been declared by lucy's eyes at the time, but was declared over again the next morning more openly, for at her particular desire, lady middleton set her down in berkeley street on the chance of seeing elinor alone, to tell her how happy she was. the chance proved a lucky one, for a message from mrs. palmer soon after she arrived, carried mrs. jennings away. "my dear friend," cried lucy, as soon as they were by themselves, "i come to talk to you of my happiness. could anything be so flattering as mrs. ferrars's way of treating me yesterday? so exceeding affable as she was!--you know how i dreaded the thoughts of seeing her;--but the very moment i was introduced, there was such an affability in her behaviour as really should seem to say, she had quite took a fancy to me. now was not it so?-you saw it all; and was not you quite struck with it?" "she was certainly very civil to you." "civil!--did you see nothing but only civility?-i saw a vast deal more. such kindness as fell to the share of nobody but me!--no pride, no hauteur, and your sister just the same--all sweetness and affability!" elinor wished to talk of something else, but lucy still pressed her to own that she had reason for her happiness; and elinor was obliged to go on.-"undoubtedly, if they had known your engagement," said she, "nothing could be more flattering than their treatment of you;--but as that was not the case"-"i guessed you would say so,"--replied lucy quickly--"but there was no reason in the world why mrs. ferrars should seem to like me, if she did not, and her liking me is every thing. you shan't talk me out of my satisfaction. i am sure it will all end well, and there will be no difficulties at all, to what i used to think. mrs. ferrars is a charming woman, and so is your sister. they are both delightful women, indeed!--i wonder i should never hear you say how agreeable mrs. dashwood was!" to this elinor had no answer to make, and did not attempt any. "are you ill, miss dashwood?--you seem low--you don't speak;--sure you an't well." "i never was in better health." "i am glad of it with all my heart; but really you did not look it. i should be sorry to have you ill; you, that have been the greatest comfort to me in the world!--heaven knows what i should have done without your friendship."-elinor tried to make a civil answer, though doubting her own success. but it seemed to satisfy lucy, for she directly replied, "indeed i am perfectly convinced of your regard for me, and next to edward's love, it is the greatest comfort i have.--poor edward!--but now there is one good thing, we shall be able to meet, and meet pretty often, for lady middleton's delighted with mrs. dashwood, so we shall be a good deal in harley street, i dare say, and edward spends half his time with his sister--besides, lady middleton and mrs. ferrars will visit now;--and mrs. ferrars and your sister were both so good to say more than once, they should always be glad to see me.-they are such charming women!--i am sure if ever you tell your sister what i think of her, you cannot speak too high." but elinor would not give her any encouragement to hope that she should tell her sister. lucy continued. "i am sure i should have seen it in a moment, if mrs. ferrars had took a dislike to me. if she had only made me a formal courtesy, for instance, without saying a word, and never after had took any notice of me, and never looked at me in a pleasant way--you know what i mean--if i had been treated in that forbidding sort of way, i should have gave it all up in despair. i could not have stood it. for where she does dislike, i know it is most violent." elinor was prevented from making any reply to this civil triumph, by the door's being thrown open, the servant's announcing mr. ferrars, and edward's immediately walking in. it was a very awkward moment; and the countenance of each shewed that it was so. they all looked exceedingly foolish; and edward seemed to have as great an inclination to walk out of the room again, as to advance farther into it. the very circumstance, in its unpleasantest form, which they would each have been most anxious to avoid, had fallen on them.--they were not only all three together, but were together without the relief of any other person. the ladies recovered themselves first. it was not lucy's business to put herself forward, and the appearance of secrecy must still be kept up. she could therefore only look her tenderness, and after slightly addressing him, said no more. but elinor had more to do; and so anxious was she, for his sake and her own, to do it well, that she forced herself, after a moment's recollection, to welcome him, with a look and manner that were almost easy, and almost open; and another struggle, another effort still improved them. she would not allow the presence of lucy, nor the consciousness of some injustice towards herself, to deter her from saying that she was happy to see him, and that she had very much regretted being from home, when he called before in berkeley street. she would not be frightened from paying him those attentions which, as a friend and almost a relation, were his due, by the observant eyes of lucy, though she soon perceived them to be narrowly watching her. her manners gave some re-assurance to edward, and he had courage enough to sit down; but his embarrassment still exceeded that of the ladies in a proportion, which the case rendered reasonable, though his sex might make it rare; for his heart had not the indifference of lucy's, nor could his conscience have quite the ease of elinor's. lucy, with a demure and settled air, seemed determined to make no contribution to the comfort of the others, and would not say a word; and almost every thing that was said, proceeded from elinor, who was obliged to volunteer all the information about her mother's health, their coming to town, &c. which edward ought to have inquired about, but never did. her exertions did not stop here; for she soon afterwards felt herself so heroically disposed as to determine, under pretence of fetching marianne, to leave the others by themselves; and she really did it, and that in the handsomest manner, for she loitered away several minutes on the landing-place, with the most high-minded fortitude, before she went to her sister. when that was once done, however, it was time for the raptures of edward to cease; for marianne's joy hurried her into the drawing-room immediately. her pleasure in seeing him was like every other of her feelings, strong in itself, and strongly spoken. she met him with a hand that would be taken, and a voice that expressed the affection of a sister. "dear edward!" she cried, "this is a moment of great happiness!--this would almost make amends for every thing!" edward tried to return her kindness as it deserved, but before such witnesses he dared not say half what he really felt. again they all sat down, and for a moment or two all were silent; while marianne was looking with the most speaking tenderness, sometimes at edward and sometimes at elinor, regretting only that their delight in each other should be checked by lucy's unwelcome presence. edward was the first to speak, and it was to notice marianne's altered looks, and express his fear of her not finding london agree with her. "oh, don't think of me!" she replied with spirited earnestness, though her eyes were filled with tears as she spoke, "don't think of my health. elinor is well, you see. that must be enough for us both." this remark was not calculated to make edward or elinor more easy, nor to conciliate the good will of lucy, who looked up at marianne with no very benignant expression. "do you like london?" said edward, willing to say any thing that might introduce another subject. "not at all. i expected much pleasure in it, but i have found none. the sight of you, edward, is the only comfort it has afforded; and thank heaven! you are what you always were!" she paused--no one spoke. "i think, elinor," she presently added, "we must employ edward to take care of us in our return to barton. in a week or two, i suppose, we shall be going; and, i trust, edward will not be very unwilling to accept the charge." poor edward muttered something, but what it was, nobody knew, not even himself. but marianne, who saw his agitation, and could easily trace it to whatever cause best pleased herself, was perfectly satisfied, and soon talked of something else. "we spent such a day, edward, in harley street yesterday! so dull, so wretchedly dull!--but i have much to say to you on that head, which cannot be said now." and with this admirable discretion did she defer the assurance of her finding their mutual relatives more disagreeable than ever, and of her being particularly disgusted with his mother, till they were more in private. "but why were you not there, edward?--why did you not come?" "i was engaged elsewhere." "engaged! but what was that, when such friends were to be met?" "perhaps, miss marianne," cried lucy, eager to take some revenge on her, "you think young men never stand upon engagements, if they have no mind to keep them, little as well as great." elinor was very angry, but marianne seemed entirely insensible of the sting; for she calmly replied, "not so, indeed; for, seriously speaking, i am very sure that conscience only kept edward from harley street. and i really believe he has the most delicate conscience in the world; the most scrupulous in performing every engagement, however minute, and however it may make against his interest or pleasure. he is the most fearful of giving pain, of wounding expectation, and the most incapable of being selfish, of any body i ever saw. edward, it is so, and i will say it. what! are you never to hear yourself praised!--then you must be no friend of mine; for those who will accept of my love and esteem, must submit to my open commendation." the nature of her commendation, in the present case, however, happened to be particularly ill-suited to the feelings of two thirds of her auditors, and was so very unexhilarating to edward, that he very soon got up to go away. "going so soon!" said marianne; "my dear edward, this must not be." and drawing him a little aside, she whispered her persuasion that lucy could not stay much longer. but even this encouragement failed, for he would go; and lucy, who would have outstaid him, had his visit lasted two hours, soon afterwards went away. "what can bring her here so often?" said marianne, on her leaving them. "could not she see that we wanted her gone!--how teazing to edward!" "why so?--we were all his friends, and lucy has been the longest known to him of any. it is but natural that he should like to see her as well as ourselves." marianne looked at her steadily, and said, "you know, elinor, that this is a kind of talking which i cannot bear. if you only hope to have your assertion contradicted, as i must suppose to be the case, you ought to recollect that i am the last person in the world to do it. i cannot descend to be tricked out of assurances, that are not really wanted." she then left the room; and elinor dared not follow her to say more, for bound as she was by her promise of secrecy to lucy, she could give no information that would convince marianne; and painful as the consequences of her still continuing in an error might be, she was obliged to submit to it. all that she could hope, was that edward would not often expose her or himself to the distress of hearing marianne's mistaken warmth, nor to the repetition of any other part of the pain that had attended their recent meeting--and this she had every reason to expect. chapter 36 within a few days after this meeting, the newspapers announced to the world, that the lady of thomas palmer, esq. was safely delivered of a son and heir; a very interesting and satisfactory paragraph, at least to all those intimate connections who knew it before. this event, highly important to mrs. jennings's happiness, produced a temporary alteration in the disposal of her time, and influenced, in a like degree, the engagements of her young friends; for as she wished to be as much as possible with charlotte, she went thither every morning as soon as she was dressed, and did not return till late in the evening; and the miss dashwoods, at the particular request of the middletons, spent the whole of every day in conduit street. for their own comfort they would much rather have remained, at least all the morning, in mrs. jennings's house; but it was not a thing to be urged against the wishes of everybody. their hours were therefore made over to lady middleton and the two miss steeles, by whom their company, in fact was as little valued, as it was professedly sought. they had too much sense to be desirable companions to the former; and by the latter they were considered with a jealous eye, as intruding on their ground, and sharing the kindness which they wanted to monopolize. though nothing could be more polite than lady middleton's behaviour to elinor and marianne, she did not really like them at all. because they neither flattered herself nor her children, she could not believe them good-natured; and because they were fond of reading, she fancied them satirical: perhaps without exactly knowing what it was to be satirical; but that did not signify. it was censure in common use, and easily given. their presence was a restraint both on her and on lucy. it checked the idleness of one, and the business of the other. lady middleton was ashamed of doing nothing before them, and the flattery which lucy was proud to think of and administer at other times, she feared they would despise her for offering. miss steele was the least discomposed of the three, by their presence; and it was in their power to reconcile her to it entirely. would either of them only have given her a full and minute account of the whole affair between marianne and mr. willoughby, she would have thought herself amply rewarded for the sacrifice of the best place by the fire after dinner, which their arrival occasioned. but this conciliation was not granted; for though she often threw out expressions of pity for her sister to elinor, and more than once dropt a reflection on the inconstancy of beaux before marianne, no effect was produced, but a look of indifference from the former, or of disgust in the latter. an effort even yet lighter might have made her their friend. would they only have laughed at her about the doctor! but so little were they, anymore than the others, inclined to oblige her, that if sir john dined from home, she might spend a whole day without hearing any other raillery on the subject, than what she was kind enough to bestow on herself. all these jealousies and discontents, however, were so totally unsuspected by mrs. jennings, that she thought it a delightful thing for the girls to be together; and generally congratulated her young friends every night, on having escaped the company of a stupid old woman so long. she joined them sometimes at sir john's, sometimes at her own house; but wherever it was, she always came in excellent spirits, full of delight and importance, attributing charlotte's well doing to her own care, and ready to give so exact, so minute a detail of her situation, as only miss steele had curiosity enough to desire. one thing did disturb her; and of that she made her daily complaint. mr. palmer maintained the common, but unfatherly opinion among his sex, of all infants being alike; and though she could plainly perceive, at different times, the most striking resemblance between this baby and every one of his relations on both sides, there was no convincing his father of it; no persuading him to believe that it was not exactly like every other baby of the same age; nor could he even be brought to acknowledge the simple proposition of its being the finest child in the world. i come now to the relation of a misfortune, which about this time befell mrs. john dashwood. it so happened that while her two sisters with mrs. jennings were first calling on her in harley street, another of her acquaintance had dropt in--a circumstance in itself not apparently likely to produce evil to her. but while the imaginations of other people will carry them away to form wrong judgments of our conduct, and to decide on it by slight appearances, one's happiness must in some measure be always at the mercy of chance. in the present instance, this last-arrived lady allowed her fancy to so far outrun truth and probability, that on merely hearing the name of the miss dashwoods, and understanding them to be mr. dashwood's sisters, she immediately concluded them to be staying in harley street; and this misconstruction produced within a day or two afterwards, cards of invitation for them as well as for their brother and sister, to a small musical party at her house. the consequence of which was, that mrs. john dashwood was obliged to submit not only to the exceedingly great inconvenience of sending her carriage for the miss dashwoods, but, what was still worse, must be subject to all the unpleasantness of appearing to treat them with attention: and who could tell that they might not expect to go out with her a second time? the power of disappointing them, it was true, must always be hers. but that was not enough; for when people are determined on a mode of conduct which they know to be wrong, they feel injured by the expectation of any thing better from them. marianne had now been brought by degrees, so much into the habit of going out every day, that it was become a matter of indifference to her, whether she went or not: and she prepared quietly and mechanically for every evening's engagement, though without expecting the smallest amusement from any, and very often without knowing, till the last moment, where it was to take her. to her dress and appearance she was grown so perfectly indifferent, as not to bestow half the consideration on it, during the whole of her toilet, which it received from miss steele in the first five minutes of their being together, when it was finished. nothing escaped her minute observation and general curiosity; she saw every thing, and asked every thing; was never easy till she knew the price of every part of marianne's dress; could have guessed the number of her gowns altogether with better judgment than marianne herself, and was not without hopes of finding out before they parted, how much her washing cost per week, and how much she had every year to spend upon herself. the impertinence of these kind of scrutinies, moreover, was generally concluded with a compliment, which though meant as its douceur, was considered by marianne as the greatest impertinence of all; for after undergoing an examination into the value and make of her gown, the colour of her shoes, and the arrangement of her hair, she was almost sure of being told that upon "her word she looked vastly smart, and she dared to say she would make a great many conquests." with such encouragement as this, was she dismissed on the present occasion, to her brother's carriage; which they were ready to enter five minutes after it stopped at the door, a punctuality not very agreeable to their sister-in-law, who had preceded them to the house of her acquaintance, and was there hoping for some delay on their part that might inconvenience either herself or her coachman. the events of this evening were not very remarkable. the party, like other musical parties, comprehended a great many people who had real taste for the performance, and a great many more who had none at all; and the performers themselves were, as usual, in their own estimation, and that of their immediate friends, the first private performers in england. as elinor was neither musical, nor affecting to be so, she made no scruple of turning her eyes from the grand pianoforte, whenever it suited her, and unrestrained even by the presence of a harp, and violoncello, would fix them at pleasure on any other object in the room. in one of these excursive glances she perceived among a group of young men, the very he, who had given them a lecture on toothpick-cases at gray's. she perceived him soon afterwards looking at herself, and speaking familiarly to her brother; and had just determined to find out his name from the latter, when they both came towards her, and mr. dashwood introduced him to her as mr. robert ferrars. he addressed her with easy civility, and twisted his head into a bow which assured her as plainly as words could have done, that he was exactly the coxcomb she had heard him described to be by lucy. happy had it been for her, if her regard for edward had depended less on his own merit, than on the merit of his nearest relations! for then his brother's bow must have given the finishing stroke to what the ill-humour of his mother and sister would have begun. but while she wondered at the difference of the two young men, she did not find that the emptiness of conceit of the one, put her out of all charity with the modesty and worth of the other. why they were different, robert exclaimed to her himself in the course of a quarter of an hour's conversation; for, talking of his brother, and lamenting the extreme gaucherie which he really believed kept him from mixing in proper society, he candidly and generously attributed it much less to any natural deficiency, than to the misfortune of a private education; while he himself, though probably without any particular, any material superiority by nature, merely from the advantage of a public school, was as well fitted to mix in the world as any other man. "upon my soul," he added, "i believe it is nothing more; and so i often tell my mother, when she is grieving about it. 'my dear madam,' i always say to her, 'you must make yourself easy. the evil is now irremediable, and it has been entirely your own doing. why would you be persuaded by my uncle, sir robert, against your own judgment, to place edward under private tuition, at the most critical time of his life? if you had only sent him to westminster as well as myself, instead of sending him to mr. pratt's, all this would have been prevented.' this is the way in which i always consider the matter, and my mother is perfectly convinced of her error." elinor would not oppose his opinion, because, whatever might be her general estimation of the advantage of a public school, she could not think of edward's abode in mr. pratt's family, with any satisfaction. "you reside in devonshire, i think,"--was his next observation, "in a cottage near dawlish." elinor set him right as to its situation; and it seemed rather surprising to him that anybody could live in devonshire, without living near dawlish. he bestowed his hearty approbation however on their species of house. "for my own part," said he, "i am excessively fond of a cottage; there is always so much comfort, so much elegance about them. and i protest, if i had any money to spare, i should buy a little land and build one myself, within a short distance of london, where i might drive myself down at any time, and collect a few friends about me, and be happy. i advise every body who is going to build, to build a cottage. my friend lord courtland came to me the other day on purpose to ask my advice, and laid before me three different plans of bonomi's. i was to decide on the best of them. 'my dear courtland,' said i, immediately throwing them all into the fire, 'do not adopt either of them, but by all means build a cottage.' and that i fancy, will be the end of it. "some people imagine that there can be no accommodations, no space in a cottage; but this is all a mistake. i was last month at my friend elliott's, near dartford. lady elliott wished to give a dance. 'but how can it be done?' said she; 'my dear ferrars, do tell me how it is to be managed. there is not a room in this cottage that will hold ten couple, and where can the supper be?' i immediately saw that there could be no difficulty in it, so i said, 'my dear lady elliott, do not be uneasy. the dining parlour will admit eighteen couple with ease; card-tables may be placed in the drawing-room; the library may be open for tea and other refreshments; and let the supper be set out in the saloon.' lady elliott was delighted with the thought. we measured the dining-room, and found it would hold exactly eighteen couple, and the affair was arranged precisely after my plan. so that, in fact, you see, if people do but know how to set about it, every comfort may be as well enjoyed in a cottage as in the most spacious dwelling." elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition. as john dashwood had no more pleasure in music than his eldest sister, his mind was equally at liberty to fix on any thing else; and a thought struck him during the evening, which he communicated to his wife, for her approbation, when they got home. the consideration of mrs. dennison's mistake, in supposing his sisters their guests, had suggested the propriety of their being really invited to become such, while mrs. jennings's engagements kept her from home. the expense would be nothing, the inconvenience not more; and it was altogether an attention which the delicacy of his conscience pointed out to be requisite to its complete enfranchisement from his promise to his father. fanny was startled at the proposal. "i do not see how it can be done," said she, "without affronting lady middleton, for they spend every day with her; otherwise i should be exceedingly glad to do it. you know i am always ready to pay them any attention in my power, as my taking them out this evening shews. but they are lady middleton's visitors. how can i ask them away from her?" her husband, but with great humility, did not see the force of her objection. "they had already spent a week in this manner in conduit street, and lady middleton could not be displeased at their giving the same number of days to such near relations." fanny paused a moment, and then, with fresh vigor, said, "my love i would ask them with all my heart, if it was in my power. but i had just settled within myself to ask the miss steeles to spend a few days with us. they are very well behaved, good kind of girls; and i think the attention is due to them, as their uncle did so very well by edward. we can ask your sisters some other year, you know; but the miss steeles may not be in town any more. i am sure you will like them; indeed, you do like them, you know, very much already, and so does my mother; and they are such favourites with harry!" mr. dashwood was convinced. he saw the necessity of inviting the miss steeles immediately, and his conscience was pacified by the resolution of inviting his sisters another year; at the same time, however, slyly suspecting that another year would make the invitation needless, by bringing elinor to town as colonel brandon's wife, and marianne as their visitor. fanny, rejoicing in her escape, and proud of the ready wit that had procured it, wrote the next morning to lucy, to request her company and her sister's, for some days, in harley street, as soon as lady middleton could spare them. this was enough to make lucy really and reasonably happy. mrs. dashwood seemed actually working for her, herself; cherishing all her hopes, and promoting all her views! such an opportunity of being with edward and his family was, above all things, the most material to her interest, and such an invitation the most gratifying to her feelings! it was an advantage that could not be too gratefully acknowledged, nor too speedily made use of; and the visit to lady middleton, which had not before had any precise limits, was instantly discovered to have been always meant to end in two days' time. when the note was shown to elinor, as it was within ten minutes after its arrival, it gave her, for the first time, some share in the expectations of lucy; for such a mark of uncommon kindness, vouchsafed on so short an acquaintance, seemed to declare that the good-will towards her arose from something more than merely malice against herself; and might be brought, by time and address, to do every thing that lucy wished. her flattery had already subdued the pride of lady middleton, and made an entry into the close heart of mrs. john dashwood; and these were effects that laid open the probability of greater. the miss steeles removed to harley street, and all that reached elinor of their influence there, strengthened her expectation of the event. sir john, who called on them more than once, brought home such accounts of the favour they were in, as must be universally striking. mrs. dashwood had never been so much pleased with any young women in her life, as she was with them; had given each of them a needle book made by some emigrant; called lucy by her christian name; and did not know whether she should ever be able to part with them. [at this point in the first and second editions, volume ii ended.] chapter 37 mrs. palmer was so well at the end of a fortnight, that her mother felt it no longer necessary to give up the whole of her time to her; and, contenting herself with visiting her once or twice a day, returned from that period to her own home, and her own habits, in which she found the miss dashwoods very ready to resume their former share. about the third or fourth morning after their being thus resettled in berkeley street, mrs. jennings, on returning from her ordinary visit to mrs. palmer, entered the drawing-room, where elinor was sitting by herself, with an air of such hurrying importance as prepared her to hear something wonderful; and giving her time only to form that idea, began directly to justify it, by saying, "lord! my dear miss dashwood! have you heard the news?" "no, ma'am. what is it?" "something so strange! but you shall hear it all.-when i got to mr. palmer's, i found charlotte quite in a fuss about the child. she was sure it was very ill--it cried, and fretted, and was all over pimples. so i looked at it directly, and, 'lord! my dear,' says i, 'it is nothing in the world, but the red gum--' and nurse said just the same. but charlotte, she would not be satisfied, so mr. donavan was sent for; and luckily he happened to just come in from harley street, so he stepped over directly, and as soon as ever mama, he said just as we did, that it was nothing in the world but the red gum, and then charlotte was easy. and so, just as he was going away again, it came into my head, i am sure i do not know how i happened to think of it, but it came into my head to ask him if there was any news. so upon that, he smirked, and simpered, and looked grave, and seemed to know something or other, and at last he said in a whisper, 'for fear any unpleasant report should reach the young ladies under your care as to their sister's indisposition, i think it advisable to say, that i believe there is no great reason for alarm; i hope mrs. dashwood will do very well.'" "what! is fanny ill?" "that is exactly what i said, my dear. 'lord!' says i, 'is mrs. dashwood ill?' so then it all came out; and the long and the short of the matter, by all i can learn, seems to be this. mr. edward ferrars, the very young man i used to joke with you about (but however, as it turns out, i am monstrous glad there was never any thing in it), mr. edward ferrars, it seems, has been engaged above this twelvemonth to my cousin lucy!--there's for you, my dear!--and not a creature knowing a syllable of the matter, except nancy!--could you have believed such a thing possible?-there is no great wonder in their liking one another; but that matters should be brought so forward between them, and nobody suspect it!--that is strange!--i never happened to see them together, or i am sure i should have found it out directly. well, and so this was kept a great secret, for fear of mrs. ferrars, and neither she nor your brother or sister suspected a word of the matter;--till this very morning, poor nancy, who, you know, is a well-meaning creature, but no conjurer, popt it all out. 'lord!' thinks she to herself, 'they are all so fond of lucy, to be sure they will make no difficulty about it;' and so, away she went to your sister, who was sitting all alone at her carpet-work, little suspecting what was to come--for she had just been saying to your brother, only five minutes before, that she thought to make a match between edward and some lord's daughter or other, i forget who. so you may think what a blow it was to all her vanity and pride. she fell into violent hysterics immediately, with such screams as reached your brother's ears, as he was sitting in his own dressing-room down stairs, thinking about writing a letter to his steward in the country. so up he flew directly, and a terrible scene took place, for lucy was come to them by that time, little dreaming what was going on. poor soul! i pity her. and i must say, i think she was used very hardly; for your sister scolded like any fury, and soon drove her into a fainting fit. nancy, she fell upon her knees, and cried bitterly; and your brother, he walked about the room, and said he did not know what to do. mrs. dashwood declared they should not stay a minute longer in the house, and your brother was forced to go down upon his knees too, to persuade her to let them stay till they had packed up their clothes. then she fell into hysterics again, and he was so frightened that he would send for mr. donavan, and mr. donavan found the house in all this uproar. the carriage was at the door ready to take my poor cousins away, and they were just stepping in as he came off; poor lucy in such a condition, he says, she could hardly walk; and nancy, she was almost as bad. i declare, i have no patience with your sister; and i hope, with all my heart, it will be a match in spite of her. lord! what a taking poor mr. edward will be in when he hears of it! to have his love used so scornfully! for they say he is monstrous fond of her, as well he may. i should not wonder, if he was to be in the greatest passion!--and mr. donavan thinks just the same. he and i had a great deal of talk about it; and the best of all is, that he is gone back again to harley street, that he may be within call when mrs. ferrars is told of it, for she was sent for as soon as ever my cousins left the house, for your sister was sure she would be in hysterics too; and so she may, for what i care. i have no pity for either of them. i have no notion of people's making such a to-do about money and greatness. there is no reason on earth why mr. edward and lucy should not marry; for i am sure mrs. ferrars may afford to do very well by her son, and though lucy has next to nothing herself, she knows better than any body how to make the most of every thing; i dare say, if mrs. ferrars would only allow him five hundred a-year, she would make as good an appearance with it as any body else would with eight. lord! how snug they might live in such another cottage as yours--or a little bigger--with two maids, and two men; and i believe i could help them to a housemaid, for my betty has a sister out of place, that would fit them exactly." here mrs. jennings ceased, and as elinor had had time enough to collect her thoughts, she was able to give such an answer, and make such observations, as the subject might naturally be supposed to produce. happy to find that she was not suspected of any extraordinary interest in it; that mrs. jennings (as she had of late often hoped might be the case) had ceased to imagine her at all attached to edward; and happy above all the rest, in the absence of marianne, she felt very well able to speak of the affair without embarrassment, and to give her judgment, as she believed, with impartiality on the conduct of every one concerned in it. she could hardly determine what her own expectation of its event really was; though she earnestly tried to drive away the notion of its being possible to end otherwise at last, than in the marriage of edward and lucy. what mrs. ferrars would say and do, though there could not be a doubt of its nature, she was anxious to hear; and still more anxious to know how edward would conduct himself. for him she felt much compassion;--for lucy very little--and it cost her some pains to procure that little;--for the rest of the party none at all. as mrs. jennings could talk on no other subject, elinor soon saw the necessity of preparing marianne for its discussion. no time was to be lost in undeceiving her, in making her acquainted with the real truth, and in endeavouring to bring her to hear it talked of by others, without betraying that she felt any uneasiness for her sister, or any resentment against edward. elinor's office was a painful one.--she was going to remove what she really believed to be her sister's chief consolation,--to give such particulars of edward as she feared would ruin him for ever in her good opinion,-and to make marianne, by a resemblance in their situations, which to her fancy would seem strong, feel all her own disappointment over again. but unwelcome as such a task must be, it was necessary to be done, and elinor therefore hastened to perform it. she was very far from wishing to dwell on her own feelings, or to represent herself as suffering much, any otherwise than as the self-command she had practised since her first knowledge of edward's engagement, might suggest a hint of what was practicable to marianne. her narration was clear and simple; and though it could not be given without emotion, it was not accompanied by violent agitation, nor impetuous grief.--that belonged rather to the hearer, for marianne listened with horror, and cried excessively. elinor was to be the comforter of others in her own distresses, no less than in theirs; and all the comfort that could be given by assurances of her own composure of mind, and a very earnest vindication of edward from every charge but of imprudence, was readily offered. but marianne for some time would give credit to neither. edward seemed a second willoughby; and acknowledging as elinor did, that she had loved him most sincerely, could she feel less than herself! as for lucy steele, she considered her so totally unamiable, so absolutely incapable of attaching a sensible man, that she could not be persuaded at first to believe, and afterwards to pardon, any former affection of edward for her. she would not even admit it to have been natural; and elinor left her to be convinced that it was so, by that which only could convince her, a better knowledge of mankind. her first communication had reached no farther than to state the fact of the engagement, and the length of time it had existed.--marianne's feelings had then broken in, and put an end to all regularity of detail; and for some time all that could be done was to soothe her distress, lessen her alarms, and combat her resentment. the first question on her side, which led to farther particulars, was,-"how long has this been known to you, elinor? has he written to you?" "i have known it these four months. when lucy first came to barton park last november, she told me in confidence of her engagement." at these words, marianne's eyes expressed the astonishment which her lips could not utter. after a pause of wonder, she exclaimed-"four months!--have you known of this four months?" elinor confirmed it. "what!--while attending me in all my misery, has this been on your heart?--and i have reproached you for being happy!"-"it was not fit that you should then know how much i was the reverse!" "four months!"--cried marianne again.--"so calm!--so cheerful!--how have you been supported?"-"by feeling that i was doing my duty.--my promise to lucy, obliged me to be secret. i owed it to her, therefore, to avoid giving any hint of the truth; and i owed it to my family and friends, not to create in them a solicitude about me, which it could not be in my power to satisfy." marianne seemed much struck. "i have very often wished to undeceive yourself and my mother," added elinor; "and once or twice i have attempted it;--but without betraying my trust, i never could have convinced you." "four months!--and yet you loved him!"-"yes. but i did not love only him;--and while the comfort of others was dear to me, i was glad to spare them from knowing how much i felt. now, i can think and speak of it with little emotion. i would not have you suffer on my account; for i assure you i no longer suffer materially myself. i have many things to support me. i am not conscious of having provoked the disappointment by any imprudence of my own, i have borne it as much as possible without spreading it farther. i acquit edward of essential misconduct. i wish him very happy; and i am so sure of his always doing his duty, that though now he may harbour some regret, in the end he must become so. lucy does not want sense, and that is the foundation on which every thing good may be built.--and after all, marianne, after all that is bewitching in the idea of a single and constant attachment, and all that can be said of one's happiness depending entirely on any particular person, it is not meant--it is not fit--it is not possible that it should be so.-edward will marry lucy; he will marry a woman superior in person and understanding to half her sex; and time and habit will teach him to forget that he ever thought another superior to her."-"if such is your way of thinking," said marianne, "if the loss of what is most valued is so easily to be made up by something else, your resolution, your self-command, are, perhaps, a little less to be wondered at.--they are brought more within my comprehension." "i understand you.--you do not suppose that i have ever felt much.--for four months, marianne, i have had all this hanging on my mind, without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature; knowing that it would make you and my mother most unhappy whenever it were explained to you, yet unable to prepare you for it in the least.-it was told me,--it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself, whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects; and told me, as i thought, with triumph.-this person's suspicions, therefore, i have had to oppose, by endeavouring to appear indifferent where i have been most deeply interested;--and it has not been only once;--i have had her hopes and exultation to listen to again and again.-i have known myself to be divided from edward for ever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection.--nothing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me.-i have had to contend against the unkindness of his sister, and the insolence of his mother; and have suffered the punishment of an attachment, without enjoying its advantages.-and all this has been going on at a time, when, as you know too well, it has not been my only unhappiness.-if you can think me capable of ever feeling--surely you may suppose that i have suffered now. the composure of mind with which i have brought myself at present to consider the matter, the consolation that i have been willing to admit, have been the effect of constant and painful exertion;--they did not spring up of themselves;--they did not occur to relieve my spirits at first.-no, marianne.--then, if i had not been bound to silence, perhaps nothing could have kept me entirely--not even what i owed to my dearest friends--from openly shewing that i was very unhappy."-marianne was quite subdued.-"oh! elinor," she cried, "you have made me hate myself for ever.--how barbarous have i been to you!--you, who have been my only comfort, who have borne with me in all my misery, who have seemed to be only suffering for me!--is this my gratitude?--is this the only return i can make you?--because your merit cries out upon myself, i have been trying to do it away." the tenderest caresses followed this confession. in such a frame of mind as she was now in, elinor had no difficulty in obtaining from her whatever promise she required; and at her request, marianne engaged never to speak of the affair to any one with the least appearance of bitterness;--to meet lucy without betraying the smallest increase of dislike to her;--and even to see edward himself, if chance should bring them together, without any diminution of her usual cordiality.-these were great concessions;--but where marianne felt that she had injured, no reparation could be too much for her to make. she performed her promise of being discreet, to admiration.--she attended to all that mrs. jennings had to say upon the subject, with an unchanging complexion, dissented from her in nothing, and was heard three times to say, "yes, ma'am."--she listened to her praise of lucy with only moving from one chair to another, and when mrs. jennings talked of edward's affection, it cost her only a spasm in her throat.--such advances towards heroism in her sister, made elinor feel equal to any thing herself. the next morning brought a farther trial of it, in a visit from their brother, who came with a most serious aspect to talk over the dreadful affair, and bring them news of his wife. "you have heard, i suppose," said he with great solemnity, as soon as he was seated, "of the very shocking discovery that took place under our roof yesterday." they all looked their assent; it seemed too awful a moment for speech. "your sister," he continued, "has suffered dreadfully. mrs. ferrars too--in short it has been a scene of such complicated distress--but i will hope that the storm may be weathered without our being any of us quite overcome. poor fanny! she was in hysterics all yesterday. but i would not alarm you too much. donavan says there is nothing materially to be apprehended; her constitution is a good one, and her resolution equal to any thing. she has borne it all, with the fortitude of an angel! she says she never shall think well of anybody again; and one cannot wonder at it, after being so deceived!--meeting with such ingratitude, where so much kindness had been shewn, so much confidence had been placed! it was quite out of the benevolence of her heart, that she had asked these young women to her house; merely because she thought they deserved some attention, were harmless, well-behaved girls, and would be pleasant companions; for otherwise we both wished very much to have invited you and marianne to be with us, while your kind friend there, was attending her daughter. and now to be so rewarded! 'i wish, with all my heart,' says poor fanny in her affectionate way, 'that we had asked your sisters instead of them.'" here he stopped to be thanked; which being done, he went on. "what poor mrs. ferrars suffered, when first fanny broke it to her, is not to be described. while she with the truest affection had been planning a most eligible connection for him, was it to be supposed that he could be all the time secretly engaged to another person!--such a suspicion could never have entered her head! if she suspected any prepossession elsewhere, it could not be in that quarter. 'there, to be sure,' said she, 'i might have thought myself safe.' she was quite in an agony. we consulted together, however, as to what should be done, and at last she determined to send for edward. he came. but i am sorry to relate what ensued. all that mrs. ferrars could say to make him put an end to the engagement, assisted too as you may well suppose by my arguments, and fanny's entreaties, was of no avail. duty, affection, every thing was disregarded. i never thought edward so stubborn, so unfeeling before. his mother explained to him her liberal designs, in case of his marrying miss morton; told him she would settle on him the norfolk estate, which, clear of land-tax, brings in a good thousand a-year; offered even, when matters grew desperate, to make it twelve hundred; and in opposition to this, if he still persisted in this low connection, represented to him the certain penury that must attend the match. his own two thousand pounds she protested should be his all; she would never see him again; and so far would she be from affording him the smallest assistance, that if he were to enter into any profession with a view of better support, she would do all in her power to prevent him advancing in it." here marianne, in an ecstasy of indignation, clapped her hands together, and cried, "gracious god! can this be possible!" "well may you wonder, marianne," replied her brother, "at the obstinacy which could resist such arguments as these. your exclamation is very natural." marianne was going to retort, but she remembered her promises, and forbore. "all this, however," he continued, "was urged in vain. edward said very little; but what he did say, was in the most determined manner. nothing should prevail on him to give up his engagement. he would stand to it, cost him what it might." "then," cried mrs. jennings with blunt sincerity, no longer able to be silent, "he has acted like an honest man! i beg your pardon, mr. dashwood, but if he had done otherwise, i should have thought him a rascal. i have some little concern in the business, as well as yourself, for lucy steele is my cousin, and i believe there is not a better kind of girl in the world, nor one who more deserves a good husband." john dashwood was greatly astonished; but his nature was calm, not open to provocation, and he never wished to offend anybody, especially anybody of good fortune. he therefore replied, without any resentment, "i would by no means speak disrespectfully of any relation of yours, madam. miss lucy steele is, i dare say, a very deserving young woman, but in the present case you know, the connection must be impossible. and to have entered into a secret engagement with a young man under her uncle's care, the son of a woman especially of such very large fortune as mrs. ferrars, is perhaps, altogether a little extraordinary. in short, i do not mean to reflect upon the behaviour of any person whom you have a regard for, mrs. jennings. we all wish her extremely happy; and mrs. ferrars's conduct throughout the whole, has been such as every conscientious, good mother, in like circumstances, would adopt. it has been dignified and liberal. edward has drawn his own lot, and i fear it will be a bad one." marianne sighed out her similar apprehension; and elinor's heart wrung for the feelings of edward, while braving his mother's threats, for a woman who could not reward him. "well, sir," said mrs. jennings, "and how did it end?" "i am sorry to say, ma'am, in a most unhappy rupture:-edward is dismissed for ever from his mother's notice. he left her house yesterday, but where he is gone, or whether he is still in town, i do not know; for we of course can make no inquiry." "poor young man!--and what is to become of him?" "what, indeed, ma'am! it is a melancholy consideration. born to the prospect of such affluence! i cannot conceive a situation more deplorable. the interest of two thousand pounds--how can a man live on it?--and when to that is added the recollection, that he might, but for his own folly, within three months have been in the receipt of two thousand, five hundred a-year (for miss morton has thirty thousand pounds,) i cannot picture to myself a more wretched condition. we must all feel for him; and the more so, because it is totally out of our power to assist him." "poor young man!" cried mrs. jennings, "i am sure he should be very welcome to bed and board at my house; and so i would tell him if i could see him. it is not fit that he should be living about at his own charge now, at lodgings and taverns." elinor's heart thanked her for such kindness towards edward, though she could not forbear smiling at the form of it. "if he would only have done as well by himself," said john dashwood, "as all his friends were disposed to do by him, he might now have been in his proper situation, and would have wanted for nothing. but as it is, it must be out of anybody's power to assist him. and there is one thing more preparing against him, which must be worse than all--his mother has determined, with a very natural kind of spirit, to settle that estate upon robert immediately, which might have been edward's, on proper conditions. i left her this morning with her lawyer, talking over the business." "well!" said mrs. jennings, "that is her revenge. everybody has a way of their own. but i don't think mine would be, to make one son independent, because another had plagued me." marianne got up and walked about the room. "can anything be more galling to the spirit of a man," continued john, "than to see his younger brother in possession of an estate which might have been his own? poor edward! i feel for him sincerely." a few minutes more spent in the same kind of effusion, concluded his visit; and with repeated assurances to his sisters that he really believed there was no material danger in fanny's indisposition, and that they need not therefore be very uneasy about it, he went away; leaving the three ladies unanimous in their sentiments on the present occasion, as far at least as it regarded mrs. ferrars's conduct, the dashwoods', and edward's. marianne's indignation burst forth as soon as he quitted the room; and as her vehemence made reserve impossible in elinor, and unnecessary in mrs. jennings, they all joined in a very spirited critique upon the party. chapter 38 mrs. jennings was very warm in her praise of edward's conduct, but only elinor and marianne understood its true merit. they only knew how little he had had to tempt him to be disobedient, and how small was the consolation, beyond the consciousness of doing right, that could remain to him in the loss of friends and fortune. elinor gloried in his integrity; and marianne forgave all his offences in compassion for his punishment. but though confidence between them was, by this public discovery, restored to its proper state, it was not a subject on which either of them were fond of dwelling when alone. elinor avoided it upon principle, as tending to fix still more upon her thoughts, by the too warm, too positive assurances of marianne, that belief of edward's continued affection for herself which she rather wished to do away; and marianne's courage soon failed her, in trying to converse upon a topic which always left her more dissatisfied with herself than ever, by the comparison it necessarily produced between elinor's conduct and her own. she felt all the force of that comparison; but not as her sister had hoped, to urge her to exertion now; she felt it with all the pain of continual self-reproach, regretted most bitterly that she had never exerted herself before; but it brought only the torture of penitence, without the hope of amendment. her mind was so much weakened that she still fancied present exertion impossible, and therefore it only dispirited her more. nothing new was heard by them, for a day or two afterwards, of affairs in harley street, or bartlett's buildings. but though so much of the matter was known to them already, that mrs. jennings might have had enough to do in spreading that knowledge farther, without seeking after more, she had resolved from the first to pay a visit of comfort and inquiry to her cousins as soon as she could; and nothing but the hindrance of more visitors than usual, had prevented her going to them within that time. the third day succeeding their knowledge of the particulars, was so fine, so beautiful a sunday as to draw many to kensington gardens, though it was only the second week in march. mrs. jennings and elinor were of the number; but marianne, who knew that the willoughbys were again in town, and had a constant dread of meeting them, chose rather to stay at home, than venture into so public a place. an intimate acquaintance of mrs. jennings joined them soon after they entered the gardens, and elinor was not sorry that by her continuing with them, and engaging all mrs. jennings's conversation, she was herself left to quiet reflection. she saw nothing of the willoughbys, nothing of edward, and for some time nothing of anybody who could by any chance whether grave or gay, be interesting to her. but at last she found herself with some surprise, accosted by miss steele, who, though looking rather shy, expressed great satisfaction in meeting them, and on receiving encouragement from the particular kindness of mrs. jennings, left her own party for a short time, to join their's. mrs. jennings immediately whispered to elinor, "get it all out of her, my dear. she will tell you any thing if you ask. you see i cannot leave mrs. clarke." it was lucky, however, for mrs. jennings's curiosity and elinor's too, that she would tell any thing without being asked; for nothing would otherwise have been learnt. "i am so glad to meet you;" said miss steele, taking her familiarly by the arm--"for i wanted to see you of all things in the world." and then lowering her voice, "i suppose mrs. jennings has heard all about it. is she angry?" "not at all, i believe, with you." "that is a good thing. and lady middleton, is she angry?" "i cannot suppose it possible that she should be." "i am monstrous glad of it. good gracious! i have had such a time of it! i never saw lucy in such a rage in my life. she vowed at first she would never trim me up a new bonnet, nor do any thing else for me again, so long as she lived; but now she is quite come to, and we are as good friends as ever. look, she made me this bow to my hat, and put in the feather last night. there now, you are going to laugh at me too. but why should not i wear pink ribbons? i do not care if it is the doctor's favourite colour. i am sure, for my part, i should never have known he did like it better than any other colour, if he had not happened to say so. my cousins have been so plaguing me! i declare sometimes i do not know which way to look before them." she had wandered away to a subject on which elinor had nothing to say, and therefore soon judged it expedient to find her way back again to the first. "well, but miss dashwood," speaking triumphantly, "people may say what they chuse about mr. ferrars's declaring he would not have lucy, for it is no such thing i can tell you; and it is quite a shame for such ill-natured reports to be spread abroad. whatever lucy might think about it herself, you know, it was no business of other people to set it down for certain." "i never heard any thing of the kind hinted at before, i assure you," said elinor. "oh, did not you? but it was said, i know, very well, and by more than one; for miss godby told miss sparks, that nobody in their senses could expect mr. ferrars to give up a woman like miss morton, with thirty thousand pounds to her fortune, for lucy steele that had nothing at all; and i had it from miss sparks myself. and besides that, my cousin richard said himself, that when it came to the point he was afraid mr. ferrars would be off; and when edward did not come near us for three days, i could not tell what to think myself; and i believe in my heart lucy gave it up all for lost; for we came away from your brother's wednesday, and we saw nothing of him not all thursday, friday, and saturday, and did not know what was become of him. once lucy thought to write to him, but then her spirits rose against that. however this morning he came just as we came home from church; and then it all came out, how he had been sent for wednesday to harley street, and been talked to by his mother and all of them, and how he had declared before them all that he loved nobody but lucy, and nobody but lucy would he have. and how he had been so worried by what passed, that as soon as he had went away from his mother's house, he had got upon his horse, and rid into the country, some where or other; and how he had stayed about at an inn all thursday and friday, on purpose to get the better of it. and after thinking it all over and over again, he said, it seemed to him as if, now he had no fortune, and no nothing at all, it would be quite unkind to keep her on to the engagement, because it must be for her loss, for he had nothing but two thousand pounds, and no hope of any thing else; and if he was to go into orders, as he had some thoughts, he could get nothing but a curacy, and how was they to live upon that?--he could not bear to think of her doing no better, and so he begged, if she had the least mind for it, to put an end to the matter directly, and leave him shift for himself. i heard him say all this as plain as could possibly be. and it was entirely for her sake, and upon her account, that he said a word about being off, and not upon his own. i will take my oath he never dropt a syllable of being tired of her, or of wishing to marry miss morton, or any thing like it. but, to be sure, lucy would not give ear to such kind of talking; so she told him directly (with a great deal about sweet and love, you know, and all that--oh, la! one can't repeat such kind of things you know)--she told him directly, she had not the least mind in the world to be off, for she could live with him upon a trifle, and how little so ever he might have, she should be very glad to have it all, you know, or something of the kind. so then he was monstrous happy, and talked on some time about what they should do, and they agreed he should take orders directly, and they must wait to be married till he got a living. and just then i could not hear any more, for my cousin called from below to tell me mrs. richardson was come in her coach, and would take one of us to kensington gardens; so i was forced to go into the room and interrupt them, to ask lucy if she would like to go, but she did not care to leave edward; so i just run up stairs and put on a pair of silk stockings and came off with the richardsons." "i do not understand what you mean by interrupting them," said elinor; "you were all in the same room together, were not you?" "no, indeed, not us. la! miss dashwood, do you think people make love when any body else is by? oh, for shame!--to be sure you must know better than that. (laughing affectedly.)--no, no; they were shut up in the drawing-room together, and all i heard was only by listening at the door." "how!" cried elinor; "have you been repeating to me what you only learnt yourself by listening at the door? i am sorry i did not know it before; for i certainly would not have suffered you to give me particulars of a conversation which you ought not to have known yourself. how could you behave so unfairly by your sister?" "oh, la! there is nothing in that. i only stood at the door, and heard what i could. and i am sure lucy would have done just the same by me; for a year or two back, when martha sharpe and i had so many secrets together, she never made any bones of hiding in a closet, or behind a chimney-board, on purpose to hear what we said." elinor tried to talk of something else; but miss steele could not be kept beyond a couple of minutes, from what was uppermost in her mind. "edward talks of going to oxford soon," said she; "but now he is lodging at no. --, pall mall. what an ill-natured woman his mother is, an't she? and your brother and sister were not very kind! however, i shan't say anything against them to you; and to be sure they did send us home in their own chariot, which was more than i looked for. and for my part, i was all in a fright for fear your sister should ask us for the huswifes she had gave us a day or two before; but, however, nothing was said about them, and i took care to keep mine out of sight. edward have got some business at oxford, he says; so he must go there for a time; and after that, as soon as he can light upon a bishop, he will be ordained. i wonder what curacy he will get!--good gracious! (giggling as she spoke) i'd lay my life i know what my cousins will say, when they hear of it. they will tell me i should write to the doctor, to get edward the curacy of his new living. i know they will; but i am sure i would not do such a thing for all the world.-'la!' i shall say directly, 'i wonder how you could think of such a thing? i write to the doctor, indeed!'" "well," said elinor, "it is a comfort to be prepared against the worst. you have got your answer ready." miss steele was going to reply on the same subject, but the approach of her own party made another more necessary. "oh, la! here come the richardsons. i had a vast deal more to say to you, but i must not stay away from them not any longer. i assure you they are very genteel people. he makes a monstrous deal of money, and they keep their own coach. i have not time to speak to mrs. jennings about it myself, but pray tell her i am quite happy to hear she is not in anger against us, and lady middleton the same; and if anything should happen to take you and your sister away, and mrs. jennings should want company, i am sure we should be very glad to come and stay with her for as long a time as she likes. i suppose lady middleton won't ask us any more this bout. good-by; i am sorry miss marianne was not here. remember me kindly to her. la! if you have not got your spotted muslin on!--i wonder you was not afraid of its being torn." such was her parting concern; for after this, she had time only to pay her farewell compliments to mrs. jennings, before her company was claimed by mrs. richardson; and elinor was left in possession of knowledge which might feed her powers of reflection some time, though she had learnt very little more than what had been already foreseen and foreplanned in her own mind. edward's marriage with lucy was as firmly determined on, and the time of its taking place remained as absolutely uncertain, as she had concluded it would be;--every thing depended, exactly after her expectation, on his getting that preferment, of which, at present, there seemed not the smallest chance. as soon as they returned to the carriage, mrs. jennings was eager for information; but as elinor wished to spread as little as possible intelligence that had in the first place been so unfairly obtained, she confined herself to the brief repetition of such simple particulars, as she felt assured that lucy, for the sake of her own consequence, would choose to have known. the continuance of their engagement, and the means that were able to be taken for promoting its end, was all her communication; and this produced from mrs. jennings the following natural remark. "wait for his having a living!--ay, we all know how that will end:--they will wait a twelvemonth, and finding no good comes of it, will set down upon a curacy of fifty pounds a-year, with the interest of his two thousand pounds, and what little matter mr. steele and mr. pratt can give her.--then they will have a child every year! and lord help 'em! how poor they will be!--i must see what i can give them towards furnishing their house. two maids and two men, indeed!--as i talked of t'other day.--no, no, they must get a stout girl of all works.-betty's sister would never do for them now." the next morning brought elinor a letter by the two-penny post from lucy herself. it was as follows: "bartlett's building, march. "i hope my dear miss dashwood will excuse the liberty i take of writing to her; but i know your friendship for me will make you pleased to hear such a good account of myself and my dear edward, after all the troubles we have went through lately, therefore will make no more apologies, but proceed to say that, thank god! though we have suffered dreadfully, we are both quite well now, and as happy as we must always be in one another's love. we have had great trials, and great persecutions, but however, at the same time, gratefully acknowledge many friends, yourself not the least among them, whose great kindness i shall always thankfully remember, as will edward too, who i have told of it. i am sure you will be glad to hear, as likewise dear mrs. jennings, i spent two happy hours with him yesterday afternoon, he would not hear of our parting, though earnestly did i, as i thought my duty required, urge him to it for prudence sake, and would have parted for ever on the spot, would he consent to it; but he said it should never be, he did not regard his mother's anger, while he could have my affections; our prospects are not very bright, to be sure, but we must wait, and hope for the best; he will be ordained shortly; and should it ever be in your power to recommend him to any body that has a living to bestow, am very sure you will not forget us, and dear mrs. jennings too, trust she will speak a good word for us to sir john, or mr. palmer, or any friend that may be able to assist us.--poor anne was much to blame for what she did, but she did it for the best, so i say nothing; hope mrs. jennings won't think it too much trouble to give us a call, should she come this way any morning, 'twould be a great kindness, and my cousins would be proud to know her.--my paper reminds me to conclude; and begging to be most gratefully and respectfully remembered to her, and to sir john, and lady middleton, and the dear children, when you chance to see them, and love to miss marianne, "i am, &c." as soon as elinor had finished it, she performed what she concluded to be its writer's real design, by placing it in the hands of mrs. jennings, who read it aloud with many comments of satisfaction and praise. "very well indeed!--how prettily she writes!--aye, that was quite proper to let him be off if he would. that was just like lucy.--poor soul! i wish i could get him a living, with all my heart.--she calls me dear mrs. jennings, you see. she is a good-hearted girl as ever lived.--very well upon my word. that sentence is very prettily turned. yes, yes, i will go and see her, sure enough. how attentive she is, to think of every body!--thank you, my dear, for shewing it me. it is as pretty a letter as ever i saw, and does lucy's head and heart great credit." chapter 39 the miss dashwoods had now been rather more than two months in town, and marianne's impatience to be gone increased every day. she sighed for the air, the liberty, the quiet of the country; and fancied that if any place could give her ease, barton must do it. elinor was hardly less anxious than herself for their removal, and only so much less bent on its being effected immediately, as that she was conscious of the difficulties of so long a journey, which marianne could not be brought to acknowledge. she began, however, seriously to turn her thoughts towards its accomplishment, and had already mentioned their wishes to their kind hostess, who resisted them with all the eloquence of her good-will, when a plan was suggested, which, though detaining them from home yet a few weeks longer, appeared to elinor altogether much more eligible than any other. the palmers were to remove to cleveland about the end of march, for the easter holidays; and mrs. jennings, with both her friends, received a very warm invitation from charlotte to go with them. this would not, in itself, have been sufficient for the delicacy of miss dashwood;--but it was inforced with so much real politeness by mr. palmer himself, as, joined to the very great amendment of his manners towards them since her sister had been known to be unhappy, induced her to accept it with pleasure. when she told marianne what she had done, however, her first reply was not very auspicious. "cleveland!"--she cried, with great agitation. "no, i cannot go to cleveland."-"you forget," said elinor gently, "that its situation is not...that it is not in the neighbourhood of..." "but it is in somersetshire.--i cannot go into somersetshire.--there, where i looked forward to going...no, elinor, you cannot expect me to go there." elinor would not argue upon the propriety of overcoming such feelings;--she only endeavoured to counteract them by working on others;--represented it, therefore, as a measure which would fix the time of her returning to that dear mother, whom she so much wished to see, in a more eligible, more comfortable manner, than any other plan could do, and perhaps without any greater delay. from cleveland, which was within a few miles of bristol, the distance to barton was not beyond one day, though a long day's journey; and their mother's servant might easily come there to attend them down; and as there could be no occasion of their staying above a week at cleveland, they might now be at home in little more than three weeks' time. as marianne's affection for her mother was sincere, it must triumph with little difficulty, over the imaginary evils she had started. mrs. jennings was so far from being weary of her guests, that she pressed them very earnestly to return with her again from cleveland. elinor was grateful for the attention, but it could not alter her design; and their mother's concurrence being readily gained, every thing relative to their return was arranged as far as it could be;--and marianne found some relief in drawing up a statement of the hours that were yet to divide her from barton. "ah! colonel, i do not know what you and i shall do without the miss dashwoods;"--was mrs. jennings's address to him when he first called on her, after their leaving her was settled--"for they are quite resolved upon going home from the palmers;--and how forlorn we shall be, when i come back!--lord! we shall sit and gape at one another as dull as two cats." perhaps mrs. jennings was in hopes, by this vigorous sketch of their future ennui, to provoke him to make that offer, which might give himself an escape from it;--and if so, she had soon afterwards good reason to think her object gained; for, on elinor's moving to the window to take more expeditiously the dimensions of a print, which she was going to copy for her friend, he followed her to it with a look of particular meaning, and conversed with her there for several minutes. the effect of his discourse on the lady too, could not escape her observation, for though she was too honorable to listen, and had even changed her seat, on purpose that she might not hear, to one close by the piano forte on which marianne was playing, she could not keep herself from seeing that elinor changed colour, attended with agitation, and was too intent on what he said to pursue her employment.-still farther in confirmation of her hopes, in the interval of marianne's turning from one lesson to another, some words of the colonel's inevitably reached her ear, in which he seemed to be apologising for the badness of his house. this set the matter beyond a doubt. she wondered, indeed, at his thinking it necessary to do so; but supposed it to be the proper etiquette. what elinor said in reply she could not distinguish, but judged from the motion of her lips, that she did not think that any material objection;--and mrs. jennings commended her in her heart for being so honest. they then talked on for a few minutes longer without her catching a syllable, when another lucky stop in marianne's performance brought her these words in the colonel's calm voice,-"i am afraid it cannot take place very soon." astonished and shocked at so unlover-like a speech, she was almost ready to cry out, "lord! what should hinder it?"--but checking her desire, confined herself to this silent ejaculation. "this is very strange!--sure he need not wait to be older." this delay on the colonel's side, however, did not seem to offend or mortify his fair companion in the least, for on their breaking up the conference soon afterwards, and moving different ways, mrs. jennings very plainly heard elinor say, and with a voice which shewed her to feel what she said, "i shall always think myself very much obliged to you." mrs. jennings was delighted with her gratitude, and only wondered that after hearing such a sentence, the colonel should be able to take leave of them, as he immediately did, with the utmost sang-froid, and go away without making her any reply!--she had not thought her old friend could have made so indifferent a suitor. what had really passed between them was to this effect. "i have heard," said he, with great compassion, "of the injustice your friend mr. ferrars has suffered from his family; for if i understand the matter right, he has been entirely cast off by them for persevering in his engagement with a very deserving young woman.-have i been rightly informed?--is it so?--" elinor told him that it was. "the cruelty, the impolitic cruelty,"--he replied, with great feeling,--"of dividing, or attempting to divide, two young people long attached to each other, is terrible.-mrs. ferrars does not know what she may be doing--what she may drive her son to. i have seen mr. ferrars two or three times in harley street, and am much pleased with him. he is not a young man with whom one can be intimately acquainted in a short time, but i have seen enough of him to wish him well for his own sake, and as a friend of yours, i wish it still more. i understand that he intends to take orders. will you be so good as to tell him that the living of delaford, now just vacant, as i am informed by this day's post, is his, if he think it worth his acceptance--but that, perhaps, so unfortunately circumstanced as he is now, it may be nonsense to appear to doubt; i only wish it were more valuable.-it is a rectory, but a small one; the late incumbent, i believe, did not make more than 200 l per annum, and though it is certainly capable of improvement, i fear, not to such an amount as to afford him a very comfortable income. such as it is, however, my pleasure in presenting it to him, will be very great. pray assure him of it." elinor's astonishment at this commission could hardly have been greater, had the colonel been really making her an offer of his hand. the preferment, which only two days before she had considered as hopeless for edward, was already provided to enable him to marry;--and she, of all people in the world, was fixed on to bestow it!--her emotion was such as mrs. jennings had attributed to a very different cause;--but whatever minor feelings less pure, less pleasing, might have a share in that emotion, her esteem for the general benevolence, and her gratitude for the particular friendship, which together prompted colonel brandon to this act, were strongly felt, and warmly expressed. she thanked him for it with all her heart, spoke of edward's principles and disposition with that praise which she knew them to deserve; and promised to undertake the commission with pleasure, if it were really his wish to put off so agreeable an office to another. but at the same time, she could not help thinking that no one could so well perform it as himself. it was an office in short, from which, unwilling to give edward the pain of receiving an obligation from her, she would have been very glad to be spared herself;-but colonel brandon, on motives of equal delicacy, declining it likewise, still seemed so desirous of its being given through her means, that she would not on any account make farther opposition. edward, she believed, was still in town, and fortunately she had heard his address from miss steele. she could undertake therefore to inform him of it, in the course of the day. after this had been settled, colonel brandon began to talk of his own advantage in securing so respectable and agreeable a neighbour, and then it was that he mentioned with regret, that the house was small and indifferent;--an evil which elinor, as mrs. jennings had supposed her to do, made very light of, at least as far as regarded its size. "the smallness of the house," said she, "i cannot imagine any inconvenience to them, for it will be in proportion to their family and income." by which the colonel was surprised to find that she was considering mr. ferrars's marriage as the certain consequence of the presentation; for he did not suppose it possible that delaford living could supply such an income, as anybody in his style of life would venture to settle on--and he said so. "this little rectory can do no more than make mr. ferrars comfortable as a bachelor; it cannot enable him to marry. i am sorry to say that my patronage ends with this; and my interest is hardly more extensive. if, however, by an unforeseen chance it should be in my power to serve him farther, i must think very differently of him from what i now do, if i am not as ready to be useful to him then as i sincerely wish i could be at present. what i am now doing indeed, seems nothing at all, since it can advance him so little towards what must be his principal, his only object of happiness. his marriage must still be a distant good;--at least, i am afraid it cannot take place very soon.--" such was the sentence which, when misunderstood, so justly offended the delicate feelings of mrs. jennings; but after this narration of what really passed between colonel brandon and elinor, while they stood at the window, the gratitude expressed by the latter on their parting, may perhaps appear in general, not less reasonably excited, nor less properly worded than if it had arisen from an offer of marriage. chapter 40 "well, miss dashwood," said mrs. jennings, sagaciously smiling, as soon as the gentleman had withdrawn, "i do not ask you what the colonel has been saying to you; for though, upon my honour, i tried to keep out of hearing, i could not help catching enough to understand his business. and i assure you i never was better pleased in my life, and i wish you joy of it with all my heart." "thank you, ma'am," said elinor. "it is a matter of great joy to me; and i feel the goodness of colonel brandon most sensibly. there are not many men who would act as he has done. few people who have so compassionate a heart! i never was more astonished in my life." "lord! my dear, you are very modest. i an't the least astonished at it in the world, for i have often thought of late, there was nothing more likely to happen." "you judged from your knowledge of the colonel's general benevolence; but at least you could not foresee that the opportunity would so very soon occur." "opportunity!" repeated mrs. jennings--"oh! as to that, when a man has once made up his mind to such a thing, somehow or other he will soon find an opportunity. well, my dear, i wish you joy of it again and again; and if ever there was a happy couple in the world, i think i shall soon know where to look for them." "you mean to go to delaford after them i suppose," said elinor, with a faint smile. "aye, my dear, that i do, indeed. and as to the house being a bad one, i do not know what the colonel would be at, for it is as good a one as ever i saw." "he spoke of its being out of repair." "well, and whose fault is that? why don't he repair it?--who should do it but himself?" they were interrupted by the servant's coming in to announce the carriage being at the door; and mrs. jennings immediately preparing to go, said,-"well, my dear, i must be gone before i have had half my talk out. but, however, we may have it all over in the evening; for we shall be quite alone. i do not ask you to go with me, for i dare say your mind is too full of the matter to care for company; and besides, you must long to tell your sister all about it." marianne had left the room before the conversation began. "certainly, ma'am, i shall tell marianne of it; but i shall not mention it at present to any body else." "oh! very well," said mrs. jennings rather disappointed. "then you would not have me tell it to lucy, for i think of going as far as holborn to-day." "no, ma'am, not even lucy if you please. one day's delay will not be very material; and till i have written to mr. ferrars, i think it ought not to be mentioned to any body else. i shall do that directly. it is of importance that no time should be lost with him, for he will of course have much to do relative to his ordination." this speech at first puzzled mrs. jennings exceedingly. why mr. ferrars was to have been written to about it in such a hurry, she could not immediately comprehend. a few moments' reflection, however, produced a very happy idea, and she exclaimed;-"oh, ho!--i understand you. mr. ferrars is to be the man. well, so much the better for him. ay, to be sure, he must be ordained in readiness; and i am very glad to find things are so forward between you. but, my dear, is not this rather out of character? should not the colonel write himself?--sure, he is the proper person." elinor did not quite understand the beginning of mrs. jennings's speech, neither did she think it worth inquiring into; and therefore only replied to its conclusion. "colonel brandon is so delicate a man, that he rather wished any one to announce his intentions to mr. ferrars than himself." "and so you are forced to do it. well that is an odd kind of delicacy! however, i will not disturb you (seeing her preparing to write.) you know your own concerns best. so goodby, my dear. i have not heard of any thing to please me so well since charlotte was brought to bed." and away she went; but returning again in a moment, "i have just been thinking of betty's sister, my dear. i should be very glad to get her so good a mistress. but whether she would do for a lady's maid, i am sure i can't tell. she is an excellent housemaid, and works very well at her needle. however, you will think of all that at your leisure." "certainly, ma'am," replied elinor, not hearing much of what she said, and more anxious to be alone, than to be mistress of the subject. how she should begin--how she should express herself in her note to edward, was now all her concern. the particular circumstances between them made a difficulty of that which to any other person would have been the easiest thing in the world; but she equally feared to say too much or too little, and sat deliberating over her paper, with the pen in her hand, till broken in on by the entrance of edward himself. he had met mrs. jennings at the door in her way to the carriage, as he came to leave his farewell card; and she, after apologising for not returning herself, had obliged him to enter, by saying that miss dashwood was above, and wanted to speak with him on very particular business. elinor had just been congratulating herself, in the midst of her perplexity, that however difficult it might be to express herself properly by letter, it was at least preferable to giving the information by word of mouth, when her visitor entered, to force her upon this greatest exertion of all. her astonishment and confusion were very great on his so sudden appearance. she had not seen him before since his engagement became public, and therefore not since his knowing her to be acquainted with it; which, with the consciousness of what she had been thinking of, and what she had to tell him, made her feel particularly uncomfortable for some minutes. he too was much distressed; and they sat down together in a most promising state of embarrassment.--whether he had asked her pardon for his intrusion on first coming into the room, he could not recollect; but determining to be on the safe side, he made his apology in form as soon as he could say any thing, after taking a chair. "mrs. jennings told me," said he, "that you wished to speak with me, at least i understood her so--or i certainly should not have intruded on you in such a manner; though at the same time, i should have been extremely sorry to leave london without seeing you and your sister; especially as it will most likely be some time--it is not probable that i should soon have the pleasure of meeting you again. i go to oxford tomorrow." "you would not have gone, however," said elinor, recovering herself, and determined to get over what she so much dreaded as soon as possible, "without receiving our good wishes, even if we had not been able to give them in person. mrs. jennings was quite right in what she said. i have something of consequence to inform you of, which i was on the point of communicating by paper. i am charged with a most agreeable office (breathing rather faster than usual as she spoke.) colonel brandon, who was here only ten minutes ago, has desired me to say, that understanding you mean to take orders, he has great pleasure in offering you the living of delaford now just vacant, and only wishes it were more valuable. allow me to congratulate you on having so respectable and well-judging a friend, and to join in his wish that the living--it is about two hundred a-year--were much more considerable, and such as might better enable you to--as might be more than a temporary accommodation to yourself--such, in short, as might establish all your views of happiness." what edward felt, as he could not say it himself, it cannot be expected that any one else should say for him. he looked all the astonishment which such unexpected, such unthought-of information could not fail of exciting; but he said only these two words, "colonel brandon!" "yes," continued elinor, gathering more resolution, as some of the worst was over, "colonel brandon means it as a testimony of his concern for what has lately passed--for the cruel situation in which the unjustifiable conduct of your family has placed you--a concern which i am sure marianne, myself, and all your friends, must share; and likewise as a proof of his high esteem for your general character, and his particular approbation of your behaviour on the present occasion." "colonel brandon give me a living!--can it be possible?" "the unkindness of your own relations has made you astonished to find friendship any where." "no," replied he, with sudden consciousness, "not to find it in you; for i cannot be ignorant that to you, to your goodness, i owe it all.--i feel it--i would express it if i could--but, as you well know, i am no orator." "you are very much mistaken. i do assure you that you owe it entirely, at least almost entirely, to your own merit, and colonel brandon's discernment of it. i have had no hand in it. i did not even know, till i understood his design, that the living was vacant; nor had it ever occurred to me that he might have had such a living in his gift. as a friend of mine, of my family, he may, perhaps--indeed i know he has, still greater pleasure in bestowing it; but, upon my word, you owe nothing to my solicitation." truth obliged her to acknowledge some small share in the action, but she was at the same time so unwilling to appear as the benefactress of edward, that she acknowledged it with hesitation; which probably contributed to fix that suspicion in his mind which had recently entered it. for a short time he sat deep in thought, after elinor had ceased to speak;--at last, and as if it were rather an effort, he said, "colonel brandon seems a man of great worth and respectability. i have always heard him spoken of as such, and your brother i know esteems him highly. he is undoubtedly a sensible man, and in his manners perfectly the gentleman." "indeed," replied elinor, "i believe that you will find him, on farther acquaintance, all that you have heard him to be, and as you will be such very near neighbours (for i understand the parsonage is almost close to the mansion-house,) it is particularly important that he should be all this." edward made no answer; but when she had turned away her head, gave her a look so serious, so earnest, so uncheerful, as seemed to say, that he might hereafter wish the distance between the parsonage and the mansion-house much greater. "colonel brandon, i think, lodges in st. james street," said he, soon afterwards, rising from his chair. elinor told him the number of the house. "i must hurry away then, to give him those thanks which you will not allow me to give you; to assure him that he has made me a very--an exceedingly happy man." elinor did not offer to detain him; and they parted, with a very earnest assurance on her side of her unceasing good wishes for his happiness in every change of situation that might befall him; on his, with rather an attempt to return the same good will, than the power of expressing it. "when i see him again," said elinor to herself, as the door shut him out, "i shall see him the husband of lucy." and with this pleasing anticipation, she sat down to reconsider the past, recall the words and endeavour to comprehend all the feelings of edward; and, of course, to reflect on her own with discontent. when mrs. jennings came home, though she returned from seeing people whom she had never seen before, and of whom therefore she must have a great deal to say, her mind was so much more occupied by the important secret in her possession, than by anything else, that she reverted to it again as soon as elinor appeared. "well, my dear," she cried, "i sent you up the young man. did not i do right?--and i suppose you had no great difficulty--you did not find him very unwilling to accept your proposal?" "no, ma'am; that was not very likely." "well, and how soon will he be ready?--for it seems all to depend upon that." "really," said elinor, "i know so little of these kind of forms, that i can hardly even conjecture as to the time, or the preparation necessary; but i suppose two or three months will complete his ordination." "two or three months!" cried mrs. jennings; "lord! my dear, how calmly you talk of it; and can the colonel wait two or three months! lord bless me!--i am sure it would put me quite out of patience!--and though one would be very glad to do a kindness by poor mr. ferrars, i do think it is not worth while to wait two or three months for him. sure somebody else might be found that would do as well; somebody that is in orders already." "my dear ma'am," said elinor, "what can you be thinking of?-why, colonel brandon's only object is to be of use to mr. ferrars." "lord bless you, my dear!--sure you do not mean to persuade me that the colonel only marries you for the sake of giving ten guineas to mr. ferrars!" the deception could not continue after this; and an explanation immediately took place, by which both gained considerable amusement for the moment, without any material loss of happiness to either, for mrs. jennings only exchanged one form of delight for another, and still without forfeiting her expectation of the first. "aye, aye, the parsonage is but a small one," said she, after the first ebullition of surprise and satisfaction was over, "and very likely may be out of repair; but to hear a man apologising, as i thought, for a house that to my knowledge has five sitting rooms on the ground-floor, and i think the housekeeper told me could make up fifteen beds!--and to you too, that had been used to live in barton cottage!-it seems quite ridiculous. but, my dear, we must touch up the colonel to do some thing to the parsonage, and make it comfortable for them, before lucy goes to it." "but colonel brandon does not seem to have any idea of the living's being enough to allow them to marry." "the colonel is a ninny, my dear; because he has two thousand a-year himself, he thinks that nobody else can marry on less. take my word for it, that, if i am alive, i shall be paying a visit at delaford parsonage before michaelmas; and i am sure i shan't go if lucy an't there." elinor was quite of her opinion, as to the probability of their not waiting for any thing more. chapter 41 edward, having carried his thanks to colonel brandon, proceeded with his happiness to lucy; and such was the excess of it by the time he reached bartlett's buildings, that she was able to assure mrs. jennings, who called on her again the next day with her congratulations, that she had never seen him in such spirits before in her life. her own happiness, and her own spirits, were at least very certain; and she joined mrs. jennings most heartily in her expectation of their being all comfortably together in delaford parsonage before michaelmas. so far was she, at the same time, from any backwardness to give elinor that credit which edward would give her, that she spoke of her friendship for them both with the most grateful warmth, was ready to own all their obligation to her, and openly declared that no exertion for their good on miss dashwood's part, either present or future, would ever surprise her, for she believed her capable of doing any thing in the world for those she really valued. as for colonel brandon, she was not only ready to worship him as a saint, but was moreover truly anxious that he should be treated as one in all worldly concerns; anxious that his tithes should be raised to the utmost; and scarcely resolved to avail herself, at delaford, as far as she possibly could, of his servants, his carriage, his cows, and his poultry. it was now above a week since john dashwood had called in berkeley street, and as since that time no notice had been taken by them of his wife's indisposition, beyond one verbal enquiry, elinor began to feel it necessary to pay her a visit.--this was an obligation, however, which not only opposed her own inclination, but which had not the assistance of any encouragement from her companions. marianne, not contented with absolutely refusing to go herself, was very urgent to prevent her sister's going at all; and mrs. jennings, though her carriage was always at elinor's service, so very much disliked mrs. john dashwood, that not even her curiosity to see how she looked after the late discovery, nor her strong desire to affront her by taking edward's part, could overcome her unwillingness to be in her company again. the consequence was, that elinor set out by herself to pay a visit, for which no one could really have less inclination, and to run the risk of a tete-a-tete with a woman, whom neither of the others had so much reason to dislike. mrs. dashwood was denied; but before the carriage could turn from the house, her husband accidentally came out. he expressed great pleasure in meeting elinor, told her that he had been just going to call in berkeley street, and, assuring her that fanny would be very glad to see her, invited her to come in. they walked up stairs in to the drawing-room.--nobody was there. "fanny is in her own room, i suppose," said he:--"i will go to her presently, for i am sure she will not have the least objection in the world to seeing you.-very far from it, indeed. now especially there cannot be--but however, you and marianne were always great favourites.--why would not marianne come?"-elinor made what excuse she could for her. "i am not sorry to see you alone," he replied, "for i have a good deal to say to you. this living of colonel brandon's--can it be true?--has he really given it to edward?--i heard it yesterday by chance, and was coming to you on purpose to enquire farther about it." "it is perfectly true.--colonel brandon has given the living of delaford to edward." "really!--well, this is very astonishing!--no relationship!--no connection between them!--and now that livings fetch such a price!--what was the value of this?" "about two hundred a year." "very well--and for the next presentation to a living of that value--supposing the late incumbent to have been old and sickly, and likely to vacate it soon--he might have got i dare say--fourteen hundred pounds. and how came he not to have settled that matter before this person's death?--now indeed it would be too late to sell it, but a man of colonel brandon's sense!--i wonder he should be so improvident in a point of such common, such natural, concern!--well, i am convinced that there is a vast deal of inconsistency in almost every human character. i suppose, however--on recollection--that the case may probably be this. edward is only to hold the living till the person to whom the colonel has really sold the presentation, is old enough to take it.--aye, aye, that is the fact, depend upon it." elinor contradicted it, however, very positively; and by relating that she had herself been employed in conveying the offer from colonel brandon to edward, and, therefore, must understand the terms on which it was given, obliged him to submit to her authority. "it is truly astonishing!"--he cried, after hearing what she said--"what could be the colonel's motive?" "a very simple one--to be of use to mr. ferrars." "well, well; whatever colonel brandon may be, edward is a very lucky man.--you will not mention the matter to fanny, however, for though i have broke it to her, and she bears it vastly well,--she will not like to hear it much talked of." elinor had some difficulty here to refrain from observing, that she thought fanny might have borne with composure, an acquisition of wealth to her brother, by which neither she nor her child could be possibly impoverished. "mrs. ferrars," added he, lowering his voice to the tone becoming so important a subject, "knows nothing about it at present, and i believe it will be best to keep it entirely concealed from her as long as may be.-when the marriage takes place, i fear she must hear of it all." "but why should such precaution be used?--though it is not to be supposed that mrs. ferrars can have the smallest satisfaction in knowing that her son has money enough to live upon,--for that must be quite out of the question; yet why, upon her late behaviour, is she supposed to feel at all?--she has done with her son, she cast him off for ever, and has made all those over whom she had any influence, cast him off likewise. surely, after doing so, she cannot be imagined liable to any impression of sorrow or of joy on his account--she cannot be interested in any thing that befalls him.-she would not be so weak as to throw away the comfort of a child, and yet retain the anxiety of a parent!" "ah! elinor," said john, "your reasoning is very good, but it is founded on ignorance of human nature. when edward's unhappy match takes place, depend upon it his mother will feel as much as if she had never discarded him; and, therefore every circumstance that may accelerate that dreadful event, must be concealed from her as much as possible. mrs. ferrars can never forget that edward is her son." "you surprise me; i should think it must nearly have escaped her memory by this time." "you wrong her exceedingly. mrs. ferrars is one of the most affectionate mothers in the world." elinor was silent. "we think now,"--said mr. dashwood, after a short pause, "of robert's marrying miss morton." elinor, smiling at the grave and decisive importance of her brother's tone, calmly replied, "the lady, i suppose, has no choice in the affair." "choice!--how do you mean?" "i only mean that i suppose, from your manner of speaking, it must be the same to miss morton whether she marry edward or robert." "certainly, there can be no difference; for robert will now to all intents and purposes be considered as the eldest son;--and as to any thing else, they are both very agreeable young men: i do not know that one is superior to the other." elinor said no more, and john was also for a short time silent.--his reflections ended thus. "of one thing, my dear sister," kindly taking her hand, and speaking in an awful whisper,--"i may assure you;--and i will do it, because i know it must gratify you. i have good reason to think--indeed i have it from the best authority, or i should not repeat it, for otherwise it would be very wrong to say any thing about it--but i have it from the very best authority--not that i ever precisely heard mrs. ferrars say it herself--but her daughter did, and i have it from her--that in short, whatever objections there might be against a certain--a certain connection--you understand me--it would have been far preferable to her, it would not have given her half the vexation that this does. i was exceedingly pleased to hear that mrs. ferrars considered it in that light--a very gratifying circumstance you know to us all. 'it would have been beyond comparison,' she said, 'the least evil of the two, and she would be glad to compound now for nothing worse.' but however, all that is quite out of the question--not to be thought of or mentioned--as to any attachment you know--it never could be--all that is gone by. but i thought i would just tell you of this, because i knew how much it must please you. not that you have any reason to regret, my dear elinor. there is no doubt of your doing exceedingly well--quite as well, or better, perhaps, all things considered. has colonel brandon been with you lately?" elinor had heard enough, if not to gratify her vanity, and raise her self-importance, to agitate her nerves and fill her mind;--and she was therefore glad to be spared from the necessity of saying much in reply herself, and from the danger of hearing any thing more from her brother, by the entrance of mr. robert ferrars. after a few moments' chat, john dashwood, recollecting that fanny was yet uninformed of her sister's being there, quitted the room in quest of her; and elinor was left to improve her acquaintance with robert, who, by the gay unconcern, the happy self-complacency of his manner while enjoying so unfair a division of his mother's love and liberality, to the prejudice of his banished brother, earned only by his own dissipated course of life, and that brother's integrity, was confirming her most unfavourable opinion of his head and heart. they had scarcely been two minutes by themselves, before he began to speak of edward; for he, too, had heard of the living, and was very inquisitive on the subject. elinor repeated the particulars of it, as she had given them to john; and their effect on robert, though very different, was not less striking than it had been on him. he laughed most immoderately. the idea of edward's being a clergyman, and living in a small parsonage-house, diverted him beyond measure;--and when to that was added the fanciful imagery of edward reading prayers in a white surplice, and publishing the banns of marriage between john smith and mary brown, he could conceive nothing more ridiculous. elinor, while she waited in silence and immovable gravity, the conclusion of such folly, could not restrain her eyes from being fixed on him with a look that spoke all the contempt it excited. it was a look, however, very well bestowed, for it relieved her own feelings, and gave no intelligence to him. he was recalled from wit to wisdom, not by any reproof of hers, but by his own sensibility. "we may treat it as a joke," said he, at last, recovering from the affected laugh which had considerably lengthened out the genuine gaiety of the moment--"but, upon my soul, it is a most serious business. poor edward! he is ruined for ever. i am extremely sorry for it--for i know him to be a very good-hearted creature; as well-meaning a fellow perhaps, as any in the world. you must not judge of him, miss dashwood, from your slight acquaintance.--poor edward!--his manners are certainly not the happiest in nature.--but we are not all born, you know, with the same powers,--the same address.-poor fellow!--to see him in a circle of strangers!--to be sure it was pitiable enough!--but upon my soul, i believe he has as good a heart as any in the kingdom; and i declare and protest to you i never was so shocked in my life, as when it all burst forth. i could not believe it.-my mother was the first person who told me of it; and i, feeling myself called on to act with resolution, immediately said to her, 'my dear madam, i do not know what you may intend to do on the occasion, but as for myself, i must say, that if edward does marry this young woman, i never will see him again.' that was what i said immediately.-i was most uncommonly shocked, indeed!--poor edward!--he has done for himself completely--shut himself out for ever from all decent society!--but, as i directly said to my mother, i am not in the least surprised at it; from his style of education, it was always to be expected. my poor mother was half frantic." "have you ever seen the lady?" "yes; once, while she was staying in this house, i happened to drop in for ten minutes; and i saw quite enough of her. the merest awkward country girl, without style, or elegance, and almost without beauty.-i remember her perfectly. just the kind of girl i should suppose likely to captivate poor edward. i offered immediately, as soon as my mother related the affair to me, to talk to him myself, and dissuade him from the match; but it was too late then, i found, to do any thing, for unluckily, i was not in the way at first, and knew nothing of it till after the breach had taken place, when it was not for me, you know, to interfere. but had i been informed of it a few hours earlier--i think it is most probable--that something might have been hit on. i certainly should have represented it to edward in a very strong light. 'my dear fellow,' i should have said, 'consider what you are doing. you are making a most disgraceful connection, and such a one as your family are unanimous in disapproving.' i cannot help thinking, in short, that means might have been found. but now it is all too late. he must be starved, you know;--that is certain; absolutely starved." he had just settled this point with great composure, when the entrance of mrs. john dashwood put an end to the subject. but though she never spoke of it out of her own family, elinor could see its influence on her mind, in the something like confusion of countenance with which she entered, and an attempt at cordiality in her behaviour to herself. she even proceeded so far as to be concerned to find that elinor and her sister were so soon to leave town, as she had hoped to see more of them;--an exertion in which her husband, who attended her into the room, and hung enamoured over her accents, seemed to distinguish every thing that was most affectionate and graceful. chapter 42 one other short call in harley street, in which elinor received her brother's congratulations on their travelling so far towards barton without any expense, and on colonel brandon's being to follow them to cleveland in a day or two, completed the intercourse of the brother and sisters in town;--and a faint invitation from fanny, to come to norland whenever it should happen to be in their way, which of all things was the most unlikely to occur, with a more warm, though less public, assurance, from john to elinor, of the promptitude with which he should come to see her at delaford, was all that foretold any meeting in the country. it amused her to observe that all her friends seemed determined to send her to delaford;--a place, in which, of all others, she would now least chuse to visit, or wish to reside; for not only was it considered as her future home by her brother and mrs. jennings, but even lucy, when they parted, gave her a pressing invitation to visit her there. very early in april, and tolerably early in the day, the two parties from hanover square and berkeley street set out from their respective homes, to meet, by appointment, on the road. for the convenience of charlotte and her child, they were to be more than two days on their journey, and mr. palmer, travelling more expeditiously with colonel brandon, was to join them at cleveland soon after their arrival. marianne, few as had been her hours of comfort in london, and eager as she had long been to quit it, could not, when it came to the point, bid adieu to the house in which she had for the last time enjoyed those hopes, and that confidence, in willoughby, which were now extinguished for ever, without great pain. nor could she leave the place in which willoughby remained, busy in new engagements, and new schemes, in which she could have no share, without shedding many tears. elinor's satisfaction, at the moment of removal, was more positive. she had no such object for her lingering thoughts to fix on, she left no creature behind, from whom it would give her a moment's regret to be divided for ever, she was pleased to be free herself from the persecution of lucy's friendship, she was grateful for bringing her sister away unseen by willoughby since his marriage, and she looked forward with hope to what a few months of tranquility at barton might do towards restoring marianne's peace of mind, and confirming her own. their journey was safely performed. the second day brought them into the cherished, or the prohibited, county of somerset, for as such was it dwelt on by turns in marianne's imagination; and in the forenoon of the third they drove up to cleveland. cleveland was a spacious, modern-built house, situated on a sloping lawn. it had no park, but the pleasure-grounds were tolerably extensive; and like every other place of the same degree of importance, it had its open shrubbery, and closer wood walk, a road of smooth gravel winding round a plantation, led to the front, the lawn was dotted over with timber, the house itself was under the guardianship of the fir, the mountain-ash, and the acacia, and a thick screen of them altogether, interspersed with tall lombardy poplars, shut out the offices. marianne entered the house with a heart swelling with emotion from the consciousness of being only eighty miles from barton, and not thirty from combe magna; and before she had been five minutes within its walls, while the others were busily helping charlotte to show her child to the housekeeper, she quitted it again, stealing away through the winding shrubberies, now just beginning to be in beauty, to gain a distant eminence; where, from its grecian temple, her eye, wandering over a wide tract of country to the south-east, could fondly rest on the farthest ridge of hills in the horizon, and fancy that from their summits combe magna might be seen. in such moments of precious, invaluable misery, she rejoiced in tears of agony to be at cleveland; and as she returned by a different circuit to the house, feeling all the happy privilege of country liberty, of wandering from place to place in free and luxurious solitude, she resolved to spend almost every hour of every day while she remained with the palmers, in the indulgence of such solitary rambles. she returned just in time to join the others as they quitted the house, on an excursion through its more immediate premises; and the rest of the morning was easily whiled away, in lounging round the kitchen garden, examining the bloom upon its walls, and listening to the gardener's lamentations upon blights, in dawdling through the green-house, where the loss of her favourite plants, unwarily exposed, and nipped by the lingering frost, raised the laughter of charlotte,--and in visiting her poultry-yard, where, in the disappointed hopes of her dairy-maid, by hens forsaking their nests, or being stolen by a fox, or in the rapid decrease of a promising young brood, she found fresh sources of merriment. the morning was fine and dry, and marianne, in her plan of employment abroad, had not calculated for any change of weather during their stay at cleveland. with great surprise therefore, did she find herself prevented by a settled rain from going out again after dinner. she had depended on a twilight walk to the grecian temple, and perhaps all over the grounds, and an evening merely cold or damp would not have deterred her from it; but a heavy and settled rain even she could not fancy dry or pleasant weather for walking. their party was small, and the hours passed quietly away. mrs. palmer had her child, and mrs. jennings her carpet-work; they talked of the friends they had left behind, arranged lady middleton's engagements, and wondered whether mr. palmer and colonel brandon would get farther than reading that night. elinor, however little concerned in it, joined in their discourse; and marianne, who had the knack of finding her way in every house to the library, however it might be avoided by the family in general, soon procured herself a book. nothing was wanting on mrs. palmer's side that constant and friendly good humour could do, to make them feel themselves welcome. the openness and heartiness of her manner more than atoned for that want of recollection and elegance which made her often deficient in the forms of politeness; her kindness, recommended by so pretty a face, was engaging; her folly, though evident was not disgusting, because it was not conceited; and elinor could have forgiven every thing but her laugh. the two gentlemen arrived the next day to a very late dinner, affording a pleasant enlargement of the party, and a very welcome variety to their conversation, which a long morning of the same continued rain had reduced very low. elinor had seen so little of mr. palmer, and in that little had seen so much variety in his address to her sister and herself, that she knew not what to expect to find him in his own family. she found him, however, perfectly the gentleman in his behaviour to all his visitors, and only occasionally rude to his wife and her mother; she found him very capable of being a pleasant companion, and only prevented from being so always, by too great an aptitude to fancy himself as much superior to people in general, as he must feel himself to be to mrs. jennings and charlotte. for the rest of his character and habits, they were marked, as far as elinor could perceive, with no traits at all unusual in his sex and time of life. he was nice in his eating, uncertain in his hours; fond of his child, though affecting to slight it; and idled away the mornings at billiards, which ought to have been devoted to business. she liked him, however, upon the whole, much better than she had expected, and in her heart was not sorry that she could like him no more;--not sorry to be driven by the observation of his epicurism, his selfishness, and his conceit, to rest with complacency on the remembrance of edward's generous temper, simple taste, and diffident feelings. of edward, or at least of some of his concerns, she now received intelligence from colonel brandon, who had been into dorsetshire lately; and who, treating her at once as the disinterested friend of mr. ferrars, and the kind confidante of himself, talked to her a great deal of the parsonage at delaford, described its deficiencies, and told her what he meant to do himself towards removing them.--his behaviour to her in this, as well as in every other particular, his open pleasure in meeting her after an absence of only ten days, his readiness to converse with her, and his deference for her opinion, might very well justify mrs. jennings's persuasion of his attachment, and would have been enough, perhaps, had not elinor still, as from the first, believed marianne his real favourite, to make her suspect it herself. but as it was, such a notion had scarcely ever entered her head, except by mrs. jennings's suggestion; and she could not help believing herself the nicest observer of the two;--she watched his eyes, while mrs. jennings thought only of his behaviour;--and while his looks of anxious solicitude on marianne's feeling, in her head and throat, the beginning of a heavy cold, because unexpressed by words, entirely escaped the latter lady's observation;--she could discover in them the quick feelings, and needless alarm of a lover. two delightful twilight walks on the third and fourth evenings of her being there, not merely on the dry gravel of the shrubbery, but all over the grounds, and especially in the most distant parts of them, where there was something more of wildness than in the rest, where the trees were the oldest, and the grass was the longest and wettest, had--assisted by the still greater imprudence of sitting in her wet shoes and stockings--given marianne a cold so violent as, though for a day or two trifled with or denied, would force itself by increasing ailments on the concern of every body, and the notice of herself. prescriptions poured in from all quarters, and as usual, were all declined. though heavy and feverish, with a pain in her limbs, and a cough, and a sore throat, a good night's rest was to cure her entirely; and it was with difficulty that elinor prevailed on her, when she went to bed, to try one or two of the simplest of the remedies. chapter 43 marianne got up the next morning at her usual time; to every inquiry replied that she was better, and tried to prove herself so, by engaging in her accustomary employments. but a day spent in sitting shivering over the fire with a book in her hand, which she was unable to read, or in lying, weary and languid, on a sofa, did not speak much in favour of her amendment; and when, at last, she went early to bed, more and more indisposed, colonel brandon was only astonished at her sister's composure, who, though attending and nursing her the whole day, against marianne's inclination, and forcing proper medicines on her at night, trusted, like marianne, to the certainty and efficacy of sleep, and felt no real alarm. a very restless and feverish night, however, disappointed the expectation of both; and when marianne, after persisting in rising, confessed herself unable to sit up, and returned voluntarily to her bed, elinor was very ready to adopt mrs. jennings's advice, of sending for the palmers' apothecary. he came, examined his patient, and though encouraging miss dashwood to expect that a very few days would restore her sister to health, yet, by pronouncing her disorder to have a putrid tendency, and allowing the word "infection" to pass his lips, gave instant alarm to mrs. palmer, on her baby's account. mrs. jennings, who had been inclined from the first to think marianne's complaint more serious than elinor, now looked very grave on mr. harris's report, and confirming charlotte's fears and caution, urged the necessity of her immediate removal with her infant; and mr. palmer, though treating their apprehensions as idle, found the anxiety and importunity of his wife too great to be withstood. her departure, therefore, was fixed on; and within an hour after mr. harris's arrival, she set off, with her little boy and his nurse, for the house of a near relation of mr. palmer's, who lived a few miles on the other side of bath; whither her husband promised, at her earnest entreaty, to join her in a day or two; and whither she was almost equally urgent with her mother to accompany her. mrs. jennings, however, with a kindness of heart which made elinor really love her, declared her resolution of not stirring from cleveland as long as marianne remained ill, and of endeavouring, by her own attentive care, to supply to her the place of the mother she had taken her from; and elinor found her on every occasion a most willing and active helpmate, desirous to share in all her fatigues, and often by her better experience in nursing, of material use. poor marianne, languid and low from the nature of her malady, and feeling herself universally ill, could no longer hope that tomorrow would find her recovered; and the idea of what tomorrow would have produced, but for this unlucky illness, made every ailment severe; for on that day they were to have begun their journey home; and, attended the whole way by a servant of mrs. jennings, were to have taken their mother by surprise on the following forenoon. the little she said was all in lamentation of this inevitable delay; though elinor tried to raise her spirits, and make her believe, as she then really believed herself, that it would be a very short one. the next day produced little or no alteration in the state of the patient; she certainly was not better, and, except that there was no amendment, did not appear worse. their party was now farther reduced; for mr. palmer, though very unwilling to go as well from real humanity and good-nature, as from a dislike of appearing to be frightened away by his wife, was persuaded at last by colonel brandon to perform his promise of following her; and while he was preparing to go, colonel brandon himself, with a much greater exertion, began to talk of going likewise.--here, however, the kindness of mrs. jennings interposed most acceptably; for to send the colonel away while his love was in so much uneasiness on her sister's account, would be to deprive them both, she thought, of every comfort; and therefore telling him at once that his stay at cleveland was necessary to herself, that she should want him to play at piquet of an evening, while miss dashwood was above with her sister, &c. she urged him so strongly to remain, that he, who was gratifying the first wish of his own heart by a compliance, could not long even affect to demur; especially as mrs. jennings's entreaty was warmly seconded by mr. palmer, who seemed to feel a relief to himself, in leaving behind him a person so well able to assist or advise miss dashwood in any emergence. marianne was, of course, kept in ignorance of all these arrangements. she knew not that she had been the means of sending the owners of cleveland away, in about seven days from the time of their arrival. it gave her no surprise that she saw nothing of mrs. palmer; and as it gave her likewise no concern, she never mentioned her name. two days passed away from the time of mr. palmer's departure, and her situation continued, with little variation, the same. mr. harris, who attended her every day, still talked boldly of a speedy recovery, and miss dashwood was equally sanguine; but the expectation of the others was by no means so cheerful. mrs. jennings had determined very early in the seizure that marianne would never get over it, and colonel brandon, who was chiefly of use in listening to mrs. jennings's forebodings, was not in a state of mind to resist their influence. he tried to reason himself out of fears, which the different judgment of the apothecary seemed to render absurd; but the many hours of each day in which he was left entirely alone, were but too favourable for the admission of every melancholy idea, and he could not expel from his mind the persuasion that he should see marianne no more. on the morning of the third day however, the gloomy anticipations of both were almost done away; for when mr. harris arrived, he declared his patient materially better. her pulse was much stronger, and every symptom more favourable than on the preceding visit. elinor, confirmed in every pleasant hope, was all cheerfulness; rejoicing that in her letters to her mother, she had pursued her own judgment rather than her friend's, in making very light of the indisposition which delayed them at cleveland; and almost fixing on the time when marianne would be able to travel. but the day did not close so auspiciously as it began.-towards the evening marianne became ill again, growing more heavy, restless, and uncomfortable than before. her sister, however, still sanguine, was willing to attribute the change to nothing more than the fatigue of having sat up to have her bed made; and carefully administering the cordials prescribed, saw her, with satisfaction, sink at last into a slumber, from which she expected the most beneficial effects. her sleep, though not so quiet as elinor wished to see it, lasted a considerable time; and anxious to observe the result of it herself, she resolved to sit with her during the whole of it. mrs. jennings, knowing nothing of any change in the patient, went unusually early to bed; her maid, who was one of the principal nurses, was recreating herself in the housekeeper's room, and elinor remained alone with marianne. the repose of the latter became more and more disturbed; and her sister, who watched, with unremitting attention her continual change of posture, and heard the frequent but inarticulate sounds of complaint which passed her lips, was almost wishing to rouse her from so painful a slumber, when marianne, suddenly awakened by some accidental noise in the house, started hastily up, and, with feverish wildness, cried out,-"is mama coming?--" "not yet," cried the other, concealing her terror, and assisting marianne to lie down again, "but she will be here, i hope, before it is long. it is a great way, you know, from hence to barton." "but she must not go round by london," cried marianne, in the same hurried manner. "i shall never see her, if she goes by london." elinor perceived with alarm that she was not quite herself, and, while attempting to soothe her, eagerly felt her pulse. it was lower and quicker than ever! and marianne, still talking wildly of mama, her alarm increased so rapidly, as to determine her on sending instantly for mr. harris, and despatching a messenger to barton for her mother. to consult with colonel brandon on the best means of effecting the latter, was a thought which immediately followed the resolution of its performance; and as soon she had rung up the maid to take her place by her sister, she hastened down to the drawing-room, where she knew he was generally to be found at a much later hour than the present. it was no time for hesitation. her fears and her difficulties were immediately before him. her fears, he had no courage, no confidence to attempt the removal of:--he listened to them in silent despondence;--but her difficulties were instantly obviated, for with a readiness that seemed to speak the occasion, and the service pre-arranged in his mind, he offered himself as the messenger who should fetch mrs. dashwood. elinor made no resistance that was not easily overcome. she thanked him with brief, though fervent gratitude, and while he went to hurry off his servant with a message to mr. harris, and an order for post-horses directly, she wrote a few lines to her mother. the comfort of such a friend at that moment as colonel brandon--or such a companion for her mother,--how gratefully was it felt!--a companion whose judgment would guide, whose attendance must relieve, and whose friendship might soothe her!--as far as the shock of such a summons could be lessened to her, his presence, his manners, his assistance, would lessen it. he, meanwhile, whatever he might feel, acted with all the firmness of a collected mind, made every necessary arrangement with the utmost despatch, and calculated with exactness the time in which she might look for his return. not a moment was lost in delay of any kind. the horses arrived, even before they were expected, and colonel brandon only pressing her hand with a look of solemnity, and a few words spoken too low to reach her ear, hurried into the carriage. it was then about twelve o'clock, and she returned to her sister's apartment to wait for the arrival of the apothecary, and to watch by her the rest of the night. it was a night of almost equal suffering to both. hour after hour passed away in sleepless pain and delirium on marianne's side, and in the most cruel anxiety on elinor's, before mr. harris appeared. her apprehensions once raised, paid by their excess for all her former security; and the servant who sat up with her, for she would not allow mrs. jennings to be called, only tortured her more, by hints of what her mistress had always thought. marianne's ideas were still, at intervals, fixed incoherently on her mother, and whenever she mentioned her name, it gave a pang to the heart of poor elinor, who, reproaching herself for having trifled with so many days of illness, and wretched for some immediate relief, fancied that all relief might soon be in vain, that every thing had been delayed too long, and pictured to herself her suffering mother arriving too late to see this darling child, or to see her rational. she was on the point of sending again for mr. harris, or if he could not come, for some other advice, when the former--but not till after five o'clock--arrived. his opinion, however, made some little amends for his delay, for though acknowledging a very unexpected and unpleasant alteration in his patient, he would not allow the danger to be material, and talked of the relief which a fresh mode of treatment must procure, with a confidence which, in a lesser degree, was communicated to elinor. he promised to call again in the course of three or four hours, and left both the patient and her anxious attendant more composed than he had found them. with strong concern, and with many reproaches for not being called to their aid, did mrs. jennings hear in the morning of what had passed. her former apprehensions, now with greater reason restored, left her no doubt of the event; and though trying to speak comfort to elinor, her conviction of her sister's danger would not allow her to offer the comfort of hope. her heart was really grieved. the rapid decay, the early death of a girl so young, so lovely as marianne, must have struck a less interested person with concern. on mrs. jennings's compassion she had other claims. she had been for three months her companion, was still under her care, and she was known to have been greatly injured, and long unhappy. the distress of her sister too, particularly a favourite, was before her;--and as for their mother, when mrs. jennings considered that marianne might probably be to her what charlotte was to herself, her sympathy in her sufferings was very sincere. mr. harris was punctual in his second visit;--but he came to be disappointed in his hopes of what the last would produce. his medicines had failed;--the fever was unabated; and marianne only more quiet--not more herself--remained in a heavy stupor. elinor, catching all, and more than all, his fears in a moment, proposed to call in further advice. but he judged it unnecessary: he had still something more to try, some more fresh application, of whose success he was as confident as the last, and his visit concluded with encouraging assurances which reached the ear, but could not enter the heart of miss dashwood. she was calm, except when she thought of her mother; but she was almost hopeless; and in this state she continued till noon, scarcely stirring from her sister's bed, her thoughts wandering from one image of grief, one suffering friend to another, and her spirits oppressed to the utmost by the conversation of mrs. jennings, who scrupled not to attribute the severity and danger of this attack to the many weeks of previous indisposition which marianne's disappointment had brought on. elinor felt all the reasonableness of the idea, and it gave fresh misery to her reflections. about noon, however, she began--but with a caution--a dread of disappointment which for some time kept her silent, even to her friend--to fancy, to hope she could perceive a slight amendment in her sister's pulse;--she waited, watched, and examined it again and again;--and at last, with an agitation more difficult to bury under exterior calmness, than all her foregoing distress, ventured to communicate her hopes. mrs. jennings, though forced, on examination, to acknowledge a temporary revival, tried to keep her young friend from indulging a thought of its continuance;--and elinor, conning over every injunction of distrust, told herself likewise not to hope. but it was too late. hope had already entered; and feeling all its anxious flutter, she bent over her sister to watch--she hardly knew for what. half an hour passed away, and the favourable symptom yet blessed her. others even arose to confirm it. her breath, her skin, her lips, all flattered elinor with signs of amendment; and marianne fixed her eyes on her with a rational, though languid, gaze. anxiety and hope now oppressed her in equal degrees, and left her no moment of tranquillity till the arrival of mr. harris at four o'clock;--when his assurances, his felicitations on a recovery in her sister even surpassing his expectation, gave her confidence, comfort, and tears of joy. marianne was in every respect materially better, and he declared her entirely out of danger. mrs. jennings, perhaps satisfied with the partial justification of her forebodings which had been found in their late alarm, allowed herself to trust in his judgment, and admitted, with unfeigned joy, and soon with unequivocal cheerfulness, the probability of an entire recovery. elinor could not be cheerful. her joy was of a different kind, and led to any thing rather than to gaiety. marianne restored to life, health, friends, and to her doting mother, was an idea to fill her heart with sensations of exquisite comfort, and expand it in fervent gratitude;--but it led to no outward demonstrations of joy, no words, no smiles. all within elinor's breast was satisfaction, silent and strong. she continued by the side of her sister, with little intermission the whole afternoon, calming every fear, satisfying every inquiry of her enfeebled spirits, supplying every succour, and watching almost every look and every breath. the possibility of a relapse would of course, in some moments, occur to remind her of what anxiety was--but when she saw, on her frequent and minute examination, that every symptom of recovery continued, and saw marianne at six o'clock sink into a quiet, steady, and to all appearance comfortable, sleep, she silenced every doubt. the time was now drawing on, when colonel brandon might be expected back. at ten o'clock, she trusted, or at least not much later her mother would be relieved from the dreadful suspense in which she must now be travelling towards them. the colonel, too!--perhaps scarcely less an object of pity!--oh!--how slow was the progress of time which yet kept them in ignorance! at seven o'clock, leaving marianne still sweetly asleep, she joined mrs. jennings in the drawing-room to tea. of breakfast she had been kept by her fears, and of dinner by their sudden reverse, from eating much;--and the present refreshment, therefore, with such feelings of content as she brought to it, was particularly welcome. mrs. jennings would have persuaded her, at its conclusion, to take some rest before her mother's arrival, and allow her to take her place by marianne; but elinor had no sense of fatigue, no capability of sleep at that moment about her, and she was not to be kept away from her sister an unnecessary instant. mrs. jennings therefore attending her up stairs into the sick chamber, to satisfy herself that all continued right, left her there again to her charge and her thoughts, and retired to her own room to write letters and sleep. the night was cold and stormy. the wind roared round the house, and the rain beat against the windows; but elinor, all happiness within, regarded it not. marianne slept through every blast; and the travellers--they had a rich reward in store, for every present inconvenience. the clock struck eight. had it been ten, elinor would have been convinced that at that moment she heard a carriage driving up to the house; and so strong was the persuasion that she did, in spite of the almost impossibility of their being already come, that she moved into the adjoining dressing-closet and opened a window shutter, to be satisfied of the truth. she instantly saw that her ears had not deceived her. the flaring lamps of a carriage were immediately in view. by their uncertain light she thought she could discern it to be drawn by four horses; and this, while it told the excess of her poor mother's alarm, gave some explanation to such unexpected rapidity. never in her life had elinor found it so difficult to be calm, as at that moment. the knowledge of what her mother must be feeling as the carriage stopt at the door--of her doubt--her dread--perhaps her despair!--and of what she had to tell!--with such knowledge it was impossible to be calm. all that remained to be done was to be speedy; and, therefore staying only till she could leave mrs. jennings's maid with her sister, she hurried down stairs. the bustle in the vestibule, as she passed along an inner lobby, assured her that they were already in the house. she rushed to the drawing-room,--she entered it,--and saw only willoughby. chapter 44 elinor, starting back with a look of horror at the sight of him, obeyed the first impulse of her heart in turning instantly to quit the room, and her hand was already on the lock, when its action was suspended by his hastily advancing, and saying, in a voice rather of command than supplication, "miss dashwood, for half an hour--for ten minutes--i entreat you to stay." "no, sir," she replied with firmness, "i shall not stay. your business cannot be with me. the servants, i suppose, forgot to tell you that mr. palmer was not in the house." "had they told me," he cried with vehemence, "that mr. palmer and all his relations were at the devil, it would not have turned me from the door. my business is with you, and only you." "with me!"--in the utmost amazement--"well, sir,--be quick--and if you can--less violent." "sit down, and i will be both." she hesitated; she knew not what to do. the possibility of colonel brandon's arriving and finding her there, came across her. but she had promised to hear him, and her curiosity no less than her honor was engaged. after a moment's recollection, therefore, concluding that prudence required dispatch, and that her acquiescence would best promote it, she walked silently towards the table, and sat down. he took the opposite chair, and for half a minute not a word was said by either. "pray be quick, sir,"--said elinor, impatiently;--"i have no time to spare." he was sitting in an attitude of deep meditation, and seemed not to hear her. "your sister," said he, with abruptness, a moment afterwards--"is out of danger. i heard it from the servant. god be praised!--but is it true? is it really true?" elinor would not speak. he repeated the inquiry with yet greater eagerness. "for god's sake tell me, is she out of danger, or is she not?" "we hope she is." he rose up, and walked across the room. "had i known as much half an hour ago--but since i am here,"--speaking with a forced vivacity as he returned to his seat--"what does it signify?--for once, miss dashwood--it will be the last time, perhaps--let us be cheerful together.--i am in a fine mood for gaiety.-tell me honestly"--a deeper glow overspreading his cheeks--"do you think me most a knave or a fool?" elinor looked at him with greater astonishment than ever. she began to think that he must be in liquor;--the strangeness of such a visit, and of such manners, seemed no otherwise intelligible; and with this impression she immediately rose, saying, "mr. willoughby, i advise you at present to return to combe--i am not at leisure to remain with you longer.-whatever your business may be with me, it will be better recollected and explained to-morrow." "i understand you," he replied, with an expressive smile, and a voice perfectly calm; "yes, i am very drunk.-a pint of porter with my cold beef at marlborough was enough to over-set me." "at marlborough!"--cried elinor, more and more at a loss to understand what he would be at. "yes,--i left london this morning at eight o'clock, and the only ten minutes i have spent out of my chaise since that time procured me a nuncheon at marlborough." the steadiness of his manner, and the intelligence of his eye as he spoke, convincing elinor, that whatever other unpardonable folly might bring him to cleveland, he was not brought there by intoxication, she said, after a moment's recollection, "mr. willoughby, you ought to feel, and i certainly do--that after what has passed--your coming here in this manner, and forcing yourself upon my notice, requires a very particular excuse.--what is it, that you mean by it?"-"i mean,"--said he, with serious energy--"if i can, to make you hate me one degree less than you do now. i mean to offer some kind of explanation, some kind of apology, for the past; to open my whole heart to you, and by convincing you, that though i have been always a blockhead, i have not been always a rascal, to obtain something like forgiveness from ma--from your sister." "is this the real reason of your coming?" "upon my soul it is,"--was his answer, with a warmth which brought all the former willoughby to her remembrance, and in spite of herself made her think him sincere. "if that is all, you may be satisfied already,--for marianne does--she has long forgiven you." "has she?"--he cried, in the same eager tone.-"then she has forgiven me before she ought to have done it. but she shall forgive me again, and on more reasonable grounds.--now will you listen to me?" elinor bowed her assent. "i do not know," said he, after a pause of expectation on her side, and thoughtfulness on his own,--"how you may have accounted for my behaviour to your sister, or what diabolical motive you may have imputed to me.-perhaps you will hardly think the better of me,--it is worth the trial however, and you shall hear every thing. when i first became intimate in your family, i had no other intention, no other view in the acquaintance than to pass my time pleasantly while i was obliged to remain in devonshire, more pleasantly than i had ever done before. your sister's lovely person and interesting manners could not but please me; and her behaviour to me almost from the first, was of a kind--it is astonishing, when i reflect on what it was, and what she was, that my heart should have been so insensible! but at first i must confess, my vanity only was elevated by it. careless of her happiness, thinking only of my own amusement, giving way to feelings which i had always been too much in the habit of indulging, i endeavoured, by every means in my power, to make myself pleasing to her, without any design of returning her affection." miss dashwood, at this point, turning her eyes on him with the most angry contempt, stopped him, by saying, "it is hardly worth while, mr. willoughby, for you to relate, or for me to listen any longer. such a beginning as this cannot be followed by any thing.-do not let me be pained by hearing any thing more on the subject." "i insist on you hearing the whole of it," he replied, "my fortune was never large, and i had always been expensive, always in the habit of associating with people of better income than myself. every year since my coming of age, or even before, i believe, had added to my debts; and though the death of my old cousin, mrs. smith, was to set me free; yet that event being uncertain, and possibly far distant, it had been for some time my intention to re-establish my circumstances by marrying a woman of fortune. to attach myself to your sister, therefore, was not a thing to be thought of;--and with a meanness, selfishness, cruelty--which no indignant, no contemptuous look, even of yours, miss dashwood, can ever reprobate too much--i was acting in this manner, trying to engage her regard, without a thought of returning it.--but one thing may be said for me: even in that horrid state of selfish vanity, i did not know the extent of the injury i meditated, because i did not then know what it was to love. but have i ever known it?--well may it be doubted; for, had i really loved, could i have sacrificed my feelings to vanity, to avarice?--or, what is more, could i have sacrificed hers?-but i have done it. to avoid a comparative poverty, which her affection and her society would have deprived of all its horrors, i have, by raising myself to affluence, lost every thing that could make it a blessing." "you did then," said elinor, a little softened, "believe yourself at one time attached to her?" "to have resisted such attractions, to have withstood such tenderness!--is there a man on earth who could have done it?--yes, i found myself, by insensible degrees, sincerely fond of her; and the happiest hours of my life were what i spent with her when i felt my intentions were strictly honourable, and my feelings blameless. even then, however, when fully determined on paying my addresses to her, i allowed myself most improperly to put off, from day to day, the moment of doing it, from an unwillingness to enter into an engagement while my circumstances were so greatly embarrassed. i will not reason here--nor will i stop for you to expatiate on the absurdity, and the worse than absurdity, of scrupling to engage my faith where my honour was already bound. the event has proved, that i was a cunning fool, providing with great circumspection for a possible opportunity of making myself contemptible and wretched for ever. at last, however, my resolution was taken, and i had determined, as soon as i could engage her alone, to justify the attentions i had so invariably paid her, and openly assure her of an affection which i had already taken such pains to display. but in the interim--in the interim of the very few hours that were to pass, before i could have an opportunity of speaking with her in private--a circumstance occurred--an unlucky circumstance, to ruin all my resolution, and with it all my comfort. a discovery took place,"--here he hesitated and looked down.--"mrs. smith had somehow or other been informed, i imagine by some distant relation, whose interest it was to deprive me of her favour, of an affair, a connection--but i need not explain myself farther," he added, looking at her with an heightened colour and an enquiring eye--"your particular intimacy--you have probably heard the whole story long ago." "i have," returned elinor, colouring likewise, and hardening her heart anew against any compassion for him, "i have heard it all. and how you will explain away any part of your guilt in that dreadful business, i confess is beyond my comprehension." "remember," cried willoughby, "from whom you received the account. could it be an impartial one? i acknowledge that her situation and her character ought to have been respected by me. i do not mean to justify myself, but at the same time cannot leave you to suppose that i have nothing to urge--that because she was injured she was irreproachable, and because i was a libertine, she must be a saint. if the violence of her passions, the weakness of her understanding--i do not mean, however, to defend myself. her affection for me deserved better treatment, and i often, with great self-reproach, recall the tenderness which, for a very short time, had the power of creating any return. i wish--i heartily wish it had never been. but i have injured more than herself; and i have injured one, whose affection for me--(may i say it?) was scarcely less warm than hers; and whose mind--oh! how infinitely superior!"-"your indifference, however, towards that unfortunate girl--i must say it, unpleasant to me as the discussion of such a subject may well be--your indifference is no apology for your cruel neglect of her. do not think yourself excused by any weakness, any natural defect of understanding on her side, in the wanton cruelty so evident on yours. you must have known, that while you were enjoying yourself in devonshire pursuing fresh schemes, always gay, always happy, she was reduced to the extremest indigence." "but, upon my soul, i did not know it," he warmly replied; "i did not recollect that i had omitted to give her my direction; and common sense might have told her how to find it out." "well, sir, and what said mrs. smith?" "she taxed me with the offence at once, and my confusion may be guessed. the purity of her life, the formality of her notions, her ignorance of the world--every thing was against me. the matter itself i could not deny, and vain was every endeavour to soften it. she was previously disposed, i believe, to doubt the morality of my conduct in general, and was moreover discontented with the very little attention, the very little portion of my time that i had bestowed on her, in my present visit. in short, it ended in a total breach. by one measure i might have saved myself. in the height of her morality, good woman! she offered to forgive the past, if i would marry eliza. that could not be--and i was formally dismissed from her favour and her house. the night following this affair--i was to go the next morning--was spent by me in deliberating on what my future conduct should be. the struggle was great--but it ended too soon. my affection for marianne, my thorough conviction of her attachment to me--it was all insufficient to outweigh that dread of poverty, or get the better of those false ideas of the necessity of riches, which i was naturally inclined to feel, and expensive society had increased. i had reason to believe myself secure of my present wife, if i chose to address her, and i persuaded myself to think that nothing else in common prudence remained for me to do. a heavy scene however awaited me, before i could leave devonshire;--i was engaged to dine with you on that very day; some apology was therefore necessary for my breaking this engagement. but whether i should write this apology, or deliver it in person, was a point of long debate. to see marianne, i felt, would be dreadful, and i even doubted whether i could see her again, and keep to my resolution. in that point, however, i undervalued my own magnanimity, as the event declared; for i went, i saw her, and saw her miserable, and left her miserable--and left her hoping never to see her again." "why did you call, mr. willoughby?" said elinor, reproachfully; "a note would have answered every purpose.-why was it necessary to call?" "it was necessary to my own pride. i could not bear to leave the country in a manner that might lead you, or the rest of the neighbourhood, to suspect any part of what had really passed between mrs. smith and myself--and i resolved therefore on calling at the cottage, in my way to honiton. the sight of your dear sister, however, was really dreadful; and, to heighten the matter, i found her alone. you were all gone i do not know where. i had left her only the evening before, so fully, so firmly resolved within my self on doing right! a few hours were to have engaged her to me for ever; and i remember how happy, how gay were my spirits, as i walked from the cottage to allenham, satisfied with myself, delighted with every body! but in this, our last interview of friendship, i approached her with a sense of guilt that almost took from me the power of dissembling. her sorrow, her disappointment, her deep regret, when i told her that i was obliged to leave devonshire so immediately--i never shall forget it--united too with such reliance, such confidence in me!--oh, god!--what a hard-hearted rascal i was!" they were both silent for a few moments. elinor first spoke. "did you tell her that you should soon return?" "i do not know what i told her," he replied, impatiently; "less than was due to the past, beyond a doubt, and in all likelihood much more than was justified by the future. i cannot think of it.--it won't do.--then came your dear mother to torture me farther, with all her kindness and confidence. thank heaven! it did torture me. i was miserable. miss dashwood, you cannot have an idea of the comfort it gives me to look back on my own misery. i owe such a grudge to myself for the stupid, rascally folly of my own heart, that all my past sufferings under it are only triumph and exultation to me now. well, i went, left all that i loved, and went to those to whom, at best, i was only indifferent. my journey to town--travelling with my own horses, and therefore so tediously--no creature to speak to--my own reflections so cheerful--when i looked forward every thing so inviting!--when i looked back at barton, the picture so soothing!--oh, it was a blessed journey!" he stopped. "well, sir," said elinor, who, though pitying him, grew impatient for his departure, "and this is all?" "ah!--no,--have you forgot what passed in town?-that infamous letter--did she shew it you?" "yes, i saw every note that passed." "when the first of hers reached me (as it immediately did, for i was in town the whole time,) what i felt is--in the common phrase, not to be expressed; in a more simple one--perhaps too simple to raise any emotion--my feelings were very, very painful.--every line, every word was--in the hackneyed metaphor which their dear writer, were she here, would forbid--a dagger to my heart. to know that marianne was in town was--in the same language--a thunderbolt.--thunderbolts and daggers!--what a reproof would she have given me!--her taste, her opinions--i believe they are better known to me than my own,--and i am sure they are dearer." elinor's heart, which had undergone many changes in the course of this extraordinary conversation, was now softened again;--yet she felt it her duty to check such ideas in her companion as the last. "this is not right, mr. willoughby.--remember that you are married. relate only what in your conscience you think necessary for me to hear." "marianne's note, by assuring me that i was still as dear to her as in former days, that in spite of the many, many weeks we had been separated, she was as constant in her own feelings, and as full of faith in the constancy of mine as ever, awakened all my remorse. i say awakened, because time and london, business and dissipation, had in some measure quieted it, and i had been growing a fine hardened villain, fancying myself indifferent to her, and chusing to fancy that she too must have become indifferent to me; talking to myself of our past attachment as a mere idle, trifling business, shrugging up my shoulders in proof of its being so, and silencing every reproach, overcoming every scruple, by secretly saying now and then, 'i shall be heartily glad to hear she is well married.'-but this note made me know myself better. i felt that she was infinitely dearer to me than any other woman in the world, and that i was using her infamously. but every thing was then just settled between miss grey and me. to retreat was impossible. all that i had to do, was to avoid you both. i sent no answer to marianne, intending by that to preserve myself from her farther notice; and for some time i was even determined not to call in berkeley street;--but at last, judging it wiser to affect the air of a cool, common acquaintance than anything else, i watched you all safely out of the house one morning, and left my name." "watched us out of the house!" "even so. you would be surprised to hear how often i watched you, how often i was on the point of falling in with you. i have entered many a shop to avoid your sight, as the carriage drove by. lodging as i did in bond street, there was hardly a day in which i did not catch a glimpse of one or other of you; and nothing but the most constant watchfulness on my side, a most invariably prevailing desire to keep out of your sight, could have separated us so long. i avoided the middletons as much as possible, as well as everybody else who was likely to prove an acquaintance in common. not aware of their being in town, however, i blundered on sir john, i believe, the first day of his coming, and the day after i had called at mrs. jennings's. he asked me to a party, a dance at his house in the evening.--had he not told me as an inducement that you and your sister were to be there, i should have felt it too certain a thing, to trust myself near him. the next morning brought another short note from marianne--still affectionate, open, artless, confiding--everything that could make my conduct most hateful. i could not answer it. i tried--but could not frame a sentence. but i thought of her, i believe, every moment of the day. if you can pity me, miss dashwood, pity my situation as it was then. with my head and heart full of your sister, i was forced to play the happy lover to another woman!--those three or four weeks were worse than all. well, at last, as i need not tell you, you were forced on me; and what a sweet figure i cut!--what an evening of agony it was!-marianne, beautiful as an angel on one side, calling me willoughby in such a tone!--oh, god!--holding out her hand to me, asking me for an explanation, with those bewitching eyes fixed in such speaking solicitude on my face!--and sophia, jealous as the devil on the other hand, looking all that was--well, it does not signify; it is over now.-such an evening!--i ran away from you all as soon as i could; but not before i had seen marianne's sweet face as white as death.--that was the last, last look i ever had of her;--the last manner in which she appeared to me. it was a horrid sight!--yet when i thought of her to-day as really dying, it was a kind of comfort to me to imagine that i knew exactly how she would appear to those, who saw her last in this world. she was before me, constantly before me, as i travelled, in the same look and hue." a short pause of mutual thoughtfulness succeeded. willoughby first rousing himself, broke it thus: "well, let me make haste and be gone. your sister is certainly better, certainly out of danger?" "we are assured of it." "your poor mother, too!--doting on marianne." "but the letter, mr. willoughby, your own letter; have you any thing to say about that?" "yes, yes, that in particular. your sister wrote to me again, you know, the very next morning. you saw what she said. i was breakfasting at the ellisons,--and her letter, with some others, was brought to me there from my lodgings. it happened to catch sophia's eye before it caught mine--and its size, the elegance of the paper, the hand-writing altogether, immediately gave her a suspicion. some vague report had reached her before of my attachment to some young lady in devonshire, and what had passed within her observation the preceding evening had marked who the young lady was, and made her more jealous than ever. affecting that air of playfulness, therefore, which is delightful in a woman one loves, she opened the letter directly, and read its contents. she was well paid for her impudence. she read what made her wretched. her wretchedness i could have borne, but her passion--her malice--at all events it must be appeased. and, in short--what do you think of my wife's style of letter-writing?--delicate--tender--truly feminine--was it not?" "your wife!--the letter was in your own hand-writing." "yes, but i had only the credit of servilely copying such sentences as i was ashamed to put my name to. the original was all her own--her own happy thoughts and gentle diction. but what could i do!--we were engaged, every thing in preparation, the day almost fixed--but i am talking like a fool. preparation!--day!--in honest words, her money was necessary to me, and in a situation like mine, any thing was to be done to prevent a rupture. and after all, what did it signify to my character in the opinion of marianne and her friends, in what language my answer was couched?--it must have been only to one end. my business was to declare myself a scoundrel, and whether i did it with a bow or a bluster was of little importance.-'i am ruined for ever in their opinion--' said i to myself--'i am shut out for ever from their society, they already think me an unprincipled fellow, this letter will only make them think me a blackguard one.' such were my reasonings, as, in a sort of desperate carelessness, i copied my wife's words, and parted with the last relics of marianne. her three notes--unluckily they were all in my pocketbook, or i should have denied their existence, and hoarded them for ever--i was forced to put them up, and could not even kiss them. and the lock of hair--that too i had always carried about me in the same pocket-book, which was now searched by madam with the most ingratiating virulence,--the dear lock--all, every memento was torn from me." "you are very wrong, mr. willoughby, very blamable," said elinor, while her voice, in spite of herself, betrayed her compassionate emotion; "you ought not to speak in this way, either of mrs. willoughby or my sister. you had made your own choice. it was not forced on you. your wife has a claim to your politeness, to your respect, at least. she must be attached to you, or she would not have married you. to treat her with unkindness, to speak of her slightingly is no atonement to marianne--nor can i suppose it a relief to your own conscience." "do not talk to me of my wife," said he with a heavy sigh.-"she does not deserve your compassion.--she knew i had no regard for her when we married.--well, married we were, and came down to combe magna to be happy, and afterwards returned to town to be gay.--and now do you pity me, miss dashwood?--or have i said all this to no purpose?-am i--be it only one degree--am i less guilty in your opinion than i was before?--my intentions were not always wrong. have i explained away any part of my guilt?" "yes, you have certainly removed something--a little.-you have proved yourself, on the whole, less faulty than i had believed you. you have proved your heart less wicked, much less wicked. but i hardly know--the misery that you have inflicted--i hardly know what could have made it worse." "will you repeat to your sister when she is recovered, what i have been telling you?--let me be a little lightened too in her opinion as well as in yours. you tell me that she has forgiven me already. let me be able to fancy that a better knowledge of my heart, and of my present feelings, will draw from her a more spontaneous, more natural, more gentle, less dignified, forgiveness. tell her of my misery and my penitence--tell her that my heart was never inconstant to her, and if you will, that at this moment she is dearer to me than ever." "i will tell her all that is necessary to what may comparatively be called, your justification. but you have not explained to me the particular reason of your coming now, nor how you heard of her illness." "last night, in drury lane lobby, i ran against sir john middleton, and when he saw who i was--for the first time these two months--he spoke to me.--that he had cut me ever since my marriage, i had seen without surprise or resentment. now, however, his good-natured, honest, stupid soul, full of indignation against me, and concern for your sister, could not resist the temptation of telling me what he knew ought to--though probably he did not think it would--vex me horridly. as bluntly as he could speak it, therefore, he told me that marianne dashwood was dying of a putrid fever at cleveland--a letter that morning received from mrs. jennings declared her danger most imminent--the palmers are all gone off in a fright, &c.--i was too much shocked to be able to pass myself off as insensible even to the undiscerning sir john. his heart was softened in seeing mine suffer; and so much of his ill-will was done away, that when we parted, he almost shook me by the hand while he reminded me of an old promise about a pointer puppy. what i felt on hearing that your sister was dying--and dying too, believing me the greatest villain upon earth, scorning, hating me in her latest moments--for how could i tell what horrid projects might not have been imputed? one person i was sure would represent me as capable of any thing-what i felt was dreadful!--my resolution was soon made, and at eight o'clock this morning i was in my carriage. now you know all." elinor made no answer. her thoughts were silently fixed on the irreparable injury which too early an independence and its consequent habits of idleness, dissipation, and luxury, had made in the mind, the character, the happiness, of a man who, to every advantage of person and talents, united a disposition naturally open and honest, and a feeling, affectionate temper. the world had made him extravagant and vain--extravagance and vanity had made him cold-hearted and selfish. vanity, while seeking its own guilty triumph at the expense of another, had involved him in a real attachment, which extravagance, or at least its offspring, necessity, had required to be sacrificed. each faulty propensity in leading him to evil, had led him likewise to punishment. the attachment, from which against honour, against feeling, against every better interest he had outwardly torn himself, now, when no longer allowable, governed every thought; and the connection, for the sake of which he had, with little scruple, left her sister to misery, was likely to prove a source of unhappiness to himself of a far more incurable nature. from a reverie of this kind she was recalled at the end of some minutes by willoughby, who, rousing himself from a reverie at least equally painful, started up in preparation for going, and said-"there is no use in staying here; i must be off." "are you going back to town?" "no--to combe magna. i have business there; from thence to town in a day or two. good bye." he held out his hand. she could not refuse to give him hers;--he pressed it with affection. "and you do think something better of me than you did?"--said he, letting it fall, and leaning against the mantel-piece as if forgetting he was to go. elinor assured him that she did;--that she forgave, pitied, wished him well--was even interested in his happiness--and added some gentle counsel as to the behaviour most likely to promote it. his answer was not very encouraging. "as to that," said he, "i must rub through the world as well as i can. domestic happiness is out of the question. if, however, i am allowed to think that you and yours feel an interest in my fate and actions, it may be the means--it may put me on my guard--at least, it may be something to live for. marianne to be sure is lost to me for ever. were i even by any blessed chance at liberty again--" elinor stopped him with a reproof. "well,"--he replied--"once more good bye. i shall now go away and live in dread of one event." "what do you mean?" "your sister's marriage." "you are very wrong. she can never be more lost to you than she is now." "but she will be gained by some one else. and if that some one should be the very he whom, of all others, i could least bear--but i will not stay to rob myself of all your compassionate goodwill, by shewing that where i have most injured i can least forgive. good bye,--god bless you!" and with these words, he almost ran out of the room. chapter 45 elinor, for some time after he left her, for some time even after the sound of his carriage had died away, remained too much oppressed by a crowd of ideas, widely differing in themselves, but of which sadness was the general result, to think even of her sister. willoughby, he, whom only half an hour ago she had abhorred as the most worthless of men, willoughby, in spite of all his faults, excited a degree of commiseration for the sufferings produced by them, which made her think of him as now separated for ever from her family, with a tenderness, a regret, rather in proportion, as she soon acknowledged within herself--to his wishes than to his merits. she felt that his influence over her mind was heightened by circumstances which ought not in reason to have weight; by that person of uncommon attraction, that open, affectionate, and lively manner which it was no merit to possess; and by that still ardent love for marianne, which it was not even innocent to indulge. but she felt that it was so, long, long before she could feel his influence less. when at last she returned to the unconscious marianne, she found her just awaking, refreshed by so long and sweet a sleep to the extent of her hopes. elinor's heart was full. the past, the present, the future, willoughby's visit, marianne's safety, and her mother's expected arrival, threw her altogether into an agitation of spirits which kept off every indication of fatigue, and made her only fearful of betraying herself to her sister. short was the time, however, in which that fear could affect her, for within half an hour after willoughby's leaving the house, she was again called down stairs by the sound of another carriage.--eager to save her mother from every unnecessary moment's horrible suspense, she ran immediately into the hall, and reached the outward door just in time to receive and support her as she entered it. mrs. dashwood, whose terror as they drew near the house had produced almost the conviction of marianne's being no more, had no voice to inquire after her, no voice even for elinor; but she, waiting neither for salutation nor inquiry, instantly gave the joyful relief;--and her mother, catching it with all her usual warmth, was in a moment as much overcome by her happiness, as she had been before by her fears. she was supported into the drawing-room between her daughter and her friend;--and there, shedding tears of joy, though still unable to speak, embraced elinor again and again, turning from her at intervals to press colonel brandon's hand, with a look which spoke at once her gratitude, and her conviction of his sharing with herself in the bliss of the moment. he shared it, however, in a silence even greater than her own. as soon as mrs. dashwood had recovered herself, to see marianne was her first desire; and in two minutes she was with her beloved child, rendered dearer to her than ever by absence, unhappiness, and danger. elinor's delight, as she saw what each felt in the meeting, was only checked by an apprehension of its robbing marianne of farther sleep;--but mrs. dashwood could be calm, could be even prudent, when the life of a child was at stake, and marianne, satisfied in knowing her mother was near her, and conscious of being too weak for conversation, submitted readily to the silence and quiet prescribed by every nurse around her. mrs. dashwood would sit up with her all night; and elinor, in compliance with her mother's entreaty, went to bed. but the rest, which one night entirely sleepless, and many hours of the most wearing anxiety seemed to make requisite, was kept off by irritation of spirits. willoughby, "poor willoughby," as she now allowed herself to call him, was constantly in her thoughts; she would not but have heard his vindication for the world, and now blamed, now acquitted herself for having judged him so harshly before. but her promise of relating it to her sister was invariably painful. she dreaded the performance of it, dreaded what its effect on marianne might be; doubted whether after such an explanation she could ever be happy with another; and for a moment wished willoughby a widower. then, remembering colonel brandon, reproved herself, felt that to his sufferings and his constancy far more than to his rival's, the reward of her sister was due, and wished any thing rather than mrs. willoughby's death. the shock of colonel brandon's errand at barton had been much softened to mrs. dashwood by her own previous alarm; for so great was her uneasiness about marianne, that she had already determined to set out for cleveland on that very day, without waiting for any further intelligence, and had so far settled her journey before his arrival, that the careys were then expected every moment to fetch margaret away, as her mother was unwilling to take her where there might be infection. marianne continued to mend every day, and the brilliant cheerfulness of mrs. dashwood's looks and spirits proved her to be, as she repeatedly declared herself, one of the happiest women in the world. elinor could not hear the declaration, nor witness its proofs without sometimes wondering whether her mother ever recollected edward. but mrs. dashwood, trusting to the temperate account of her own disappointment which elinor had sent her, was led away by the exuberance of her joy to think only of what would increase it. marianne was restored to her from a danger in which, as she now began to feel, her own mistaken judgment in encouraging the unfortunate attachment to willoughby, had contributed to place her;--and in her recovery she had yet another source of joy unthought of by elinor. it was thus imparted to her, as soon as any opportunity of private conference between them occurred. "at last we are alone. my elinor, you do not yet know all my happiness. colonel brandon loves marianne. he has told me so himself." her daughter, feeling by turns both pleased and pained, surprised and not surprised, was all silent attention. "you are never like me, dear elinor, or i should wonder at your composure now. had i sat down to wish for any possible good to my family, i should have fixed on colonel brandon's marrying one of you as the object most desirable. and i believe marianne will be the most happy with him of the two." elinor was half inclined to ask her reason for thinking so, because satisfied that none founded on an impartial consideration of their age, characters, or feelings, could be given;--but her mother must always be carried away by her imagination on any interesting subject, and therefore instead of an inquiry, she passed it off with a smile. "he opened his whole heart to me yesterday as we travelled. it came out quite unawares, quite undesignedly. i, you may well believe, could talk of nothing but my child;--he could not conceal his distress; i saw that it equalled my own, and he perhaps, thinking that mere friendship, as the world now goes, would not justify so warm a sympathy--or rather, not thinking at all, i suppose--giving way to irresistible feelings, made me acquainted with his earnest, tender, constant, affection for marianne. he has loved her, my elinor, ever since the first moment of seeing her." here, however, elinor perceived,--not the language, not the professions of colonel brandon, but the natural embellishments of her mother's active fancy, which fashioned every thing delightful to her as it chose. "his regard for her, infinitely surpassing anything that willoughby ever felt or feigned, as much more warm, as more sincere or constant--which ever we are to call it--has subsisted through all the knowledge of dear marianne's unhappy prepossession for that worthless young man!--and without selfishness--without encouraging a hope!--could he have seen her happy with another--such a noble mind!--such openness, such sincerity!--no one can be deceived in him." "colonel brandon's character," said elinor, "as an excellent man, is well established." "i know it is,"--replied her mother seriously, "or after such a warning, i should be the last to encourage such affection, or even to be pleased by it. but his coming for me as he did, with such active, such ready friendship, is enough to prove him one of the worthiest of men." "his character, however," answered elinor, "does not rest on one act of kindness, to which his affection for marianne, were humanity out of the case, would have prompted him. to mrs. jennings, to the middletons, he has been long and intimately known; they equally love and respect him; and even my own knowledge of him, though lately acquired, is very considerable; and so highly do i value and esteem him, that if marianne can be happy with him, i shall be as ready as yourself to think our connection the greatest blessing to us in the world. what answer did you give him?--did you allow him to hope?" "oh! my love, i could not then talk of hope to him or to myself. marianne might at that moment be dying. but he did not ask for hope or encouragement. his was an involuntary confidence, an irrepressible effusion to a soothing friend--not an application to a parent. yet after a time i did say, for at first i was quite overcome--that if she lived, as i trusted she might, my greatest happiness would lie in promoting their marriage; and since our arrival, since our delightful security, i have repeated it to him more fully, have given him every encouragement in my power. time, a very little time, i tell him, will do everything;--marianne's heart is not to be wasted for ever on such a man as willoughby.-his own merits must soon secure it." "to judge from the colonel's spirits, however, you have not yet made him equally sanguine." "no.--he thinks marianne's affection too deeply rooted for any change in it under a great length of time, and even supposing her heart again free, is too diffident of himself to believe, that with such a difference of age and disposition he could ever attach her. there, however, he is quite mistaken. his age is only so much beyond hers as to be an advantage, as to make his character and principles fixed;--and his disposition, i am well convinced, is exactly the very one to make your sister happy. and his person, his manners too, are all in his favour. my partiality does not blind me; he certainly is not so handsome as willoughby--but at the same time, there is something much more pleasing in his countenance.-there was always a something,--if you remember,--in willoughby's eyes at times, which i did not like." elinor could not remember it;--but her mother, without waiting for her assent, continued, "and his manners, the colonel's manners are not only more pleasing to me than willoughby's ever were, but they are of a kind i well know to be more solidly attaching to marianne. their gentleness, their genuine attention to other people, and their manly unstudied simplicity is much more accordant with her real disposition, than the liveliness--often artificial, and often ill-timed of the other. i am very sure myself, that had willoughby turned out as really amiable, as he has proved himself the contrary, marianne would yet never have been so happy with him, as she will be with colonel brandon." she paused.--her daughter could not quite agree with her, but her dissent was not heard, and therefore gave no offence. "at delaford, she will be within an easy distance of me," added mrs. dashwood, "even if i remain at barton; and in all probability,--for i hear it is a large village,--indeed there certainly must be some small house or cottage close by, that would suit us quite as well as our present situation." poor elinor!--here was a new scheme for getting her to delaford!--but her spirit was stubborn. "his fortune too!--for at my time of life you know, everybody cares about that;--and though i neither know nor desire to know, what it really is, i am sure it must be a good one." here they were interrupted by the entrance of a third person, and elinor withdrew to think it all over in private, to wish success to her friend, and yet in wishing it, to feel a pang for willoughby. chapter 46 marianne's illness, though weakening in its kind, had not been long enough to make her recovery slow; and with youth, natural strength, and her mother's presence in aid, it proceeded so smoothly as to enable her to remove, within four days after the arrival of the latter, into mrs. palmer's dressing-room. when there, at her own particular request, for she was impatient to pour forth her thanks to him for fetching her mother, colonel brandon was invited to visit her. his emotion on entering the room, in seeing her altered looks, and in receiving the pale hand which she immediately held out to him, was such, as, in elinor's conjecture, must arise from something more than his affection for marianne, or the consciousness of its being known to others; and she soon discovered in his melancholy eye and varying complexion as he looked at her sister, the probable recurrence of many past scenes of misery to his mind, brought back by that resemblance between marianne and eliza already acknowledged, and now strengthened by the hollow eye, the sickly skin, the posture of reclining weakness, and the warm acknowledgment of peculiar obligation. mrs. dashwood, not less watchful of what passed than her daughter, but with a mind very differently influenced, and therefore watching to very different effect, saw nothing in the colonel's behaviour but what arose from the most simple and self-evident sensations, while in the actions and words of marianne she persuaded herself to think that something more than gratitude already dawned. at the end of another day or two, marianne growing visibly stronger every twelve hours, mrs. dashwood, urged equally by her own and her daughter's wishes, began to talk of removing to barton. on her measures depended those of her two friends; mrs. jennings could not quit cleveland during the dashwoods' stay; and colonel brandon was soon brought, by their united request, to consider his own abode there as equally determinate, if not equally indispensable. at his and mrs. jennings's united request in return, mrs. dashwood was prevailed on to accept the use of his carriage on her journey back, for the better accommodation of her sick child; and the colonel, at the joint invitation of mrs. dashwood and mrs. jennings, whose active good-nature made her friendly and hospitable for other people as well as herself, engaged with pleasure to redeem it by a visit at the cottage, in the course of a few weeks. the day of separation and departure arrived; and marianne, after taking so particular and lengthened a leave of mrs. jennings, one so earnestly grateful, so full of respect and kind wishes as seemed due to her own heart from a secret acknowledgment of past inattention, and bidding colonel brandon farewell with a cordiality of a friend, was carefully assisted by him into the carriage, of which he seemed anxious that she should engross at least half. mrs. dashwood and elinor then followed, and the others were left by themselves, to talk of the travellers, and feel their own dullness, till mrs. jennings was summoned to her chaise to take comfort in the gossip of her maid for the loss of her two young companions; and colonel brandon immediately afterwards took his solitary way to delaford. the dashwoods were two days on the road, and marianne bore her journey on both, without essential fatigue. every thing that the most zealous affection, the most solicitous care could do to render her comfortable, was the office of each watchful companion, and each found their reward in her bodily ease, and her calmness of spirits. to elinor, the observation of the latter was particularly grateful. she, who had seen her week after week so constantly suffering, oppressed by anguish of heart which she had neither courage to speak of, nor fortitude to conceal, now saw with a joy, which no other could equally share, an apparent composure of mind, which, in being the result as she trusted of serious reflection, must eventually lead her to contentment and cheerfulness. as they approached barton, indeed, and entered on scenes of which every field and every tree brought some peculiar, some painful recollection, she grew silent and thoughtful, and turning away her face from their notice, sat earnestly gazing through the window. but here, elinor could neither wonder nor blame; and when she saw, as she assisted marianne from the carriage, that she had been crying, she saw only an emotion too natural in itself to raise any thing less tender than pity, and in its unobtrusiveness entitled to praise. in the whole of her subsequent manner, she traced the direction of a mind awakened to reasonable exertion; for no sooner had they entered their common sitting-room, than marianne turned her eyes around it with a look of resolute firmness, as if determined at once to accustom herself to the sight of every object with which the remembrance of willoughby could be connected.--she said little, but every sentence aimed at cheerfulness, and though a sigh sometimes escaped her, it never passed away without the atonement of a smile. after dinner she would try her piano-forte. she went to it; but the music on which her eye first rested was an opera, procured for her by willoughby, containing some of their favourite duets, and bearing on its outward leaf her own name in his hand-writing.--that would not do.--she shook her head, put the music aside, and after running over the keys for a minute, complained of feebleness in her fingers, and closed the instrument again; declaring however with firmness as she did so, that she should in future practice much. the next morning produced no abatement in these happy symptoms. on the contrary, with a mind and body alike strengthened by rest, she looked and spoke with more genuine spirit, anticipating the pleasure of margaret's return, and talking of the dear family party which would then be restored, of their mutual pursuits and cheerful society, as the only happiness worth a wish. "when the weather is settled, and i have recovered my strength," said she, "we will take long walks together every day. we will walk to the farm at the edge of the down, and see how the children go on; we will walk to sir john's new plantations at barton cross, and the abbeyland; and we will often go to the old ruins of the priory, and try to trace its foundations as far as we are told they once reached. i know we shall be happy. i know the summer will pass happily away. i mean never to be later in rising than six, and from that time till dinner i shall divide every moment between music and reading. i have formed my plan, and am determined to enter on a course of serious study. our own library is too well known to me, to be resorted to for any thing beyond mere amusement. but there are many works well worth reading at the park; and there are others of more modern production which i know i can borrow of colonel brandon. by reading only six hours a-day, i shall gain in the course of a twelve-month a great deal of instruction which i now feel myself to want." elinor honoured her for a plan which originated so nobly as this; though smiling to see the same eager fancy which had been leading her to the extreme of languid indolence and selfish repining, now at work in introducing excess into a scheme of such rational employment and virtuous self-control. her smile however changed to a sigh when she remembered that promise to willoughby was yet unfulfilled, and feared she had that to communicate which might again unsettle the mind of marianne, and ruin at least for a time this fair prospect of busy tranquillity. willing therefore to delay the evil hour, she resolved to wait till her sister's health were more secure, before she appointed it. but the resolution was made only to be broken. marianne had been two or three days at home, before the weather was fine enough for an invalid like herself to venture out. but at last a soft, genial morning appeared; such as might tempt the daughter's wishes and the mother's confidence; and marianne, leaning on elinor's arm, was authorised to walk as long as she could without fatigue, in the lane before the house. the sisters set out at a pace, slow as the feebleness of marianne in an exercise hitherto untried since her illness required;--and they had advanced only so far beyond the house as to admit a full view of the hill, the important hill behind, when pausing with her eyes turned towards it, marianne calmly said, "there, exactly there,"--pointing with one hand, "on that projecting mound,--there i fell; and there i first saw willoughby." her voice sunk with the word, but presently reviving she added, "i am thankful to find that i can look with so little pain on the spot!--shall we ever talk on that subject, elinor?"--hesitatingly it was said.--"or will it be wrong?--i can talk of it now, i hope, as i ought to do."-elinor tenderly invited her to be open. "as for regret," said marianne, "i have done with that, as far as he is concerned. i do not mean to talk to you of what my feelings have been for him, but what they are now.--at present, if i could be satisfied on one point, if i could be allowed to think that he was not always acting a part, not always deceiving me;--but above all, if i could be assured that he never was so very wicked as my fears have sometimes fancied him, since the story of that unfortunate girl"-she stopt. elinor joyfully treasured her words as she answered, "if you could be assured of that, you think you should be easy." "yes. my peace of mind is doubly involved in it;--for not only is it horrible to suspect a person, who has been what he has been to me, of such designs,--but what must it make me appear to myself?--what in a situation like mine, but a most shamefully unguarded affection could expose me to"-"how then," asked her sister, "would you account for his behaviour?" "i would suppose him,--oh, how gladly would i suppose him, only fickle, very, very fickle." elinor said no more. she was debating within herself on the eligibility of beginning her story directly, or postponing it till marianne were in stronger health;--and they crept on for a few minutes in silence. "i am not wishing him too much good," said marianne at last with a sigh, "when i wish his secret reflections may be no more unpleasant than my own. he will suffer enough in them." "do you compare your conduct with his?" "no. i compare it with what it ought to have been; i compare it with yours." "our situations have borne little resemblance." "they have borne more than our conduct.--do not, my dearest elinor, let your kindness defend what i know your judgment must censure. my illness has made me think-it has given me leisure and calmness for serious recollection. long before i was enough recovered to talk, i was perfectly able to reflect. i considered the past: i saw in my own behaviour, since the beginning of our acquaintance with him last autumn, nothing but a series of imprudence towards myself, and want of kindness to others. i saw that my own feelings had prepared my sufferings, and that my want of fortitude under them had almost led me to the grave. my illness, i well knew, had been entirely brought on by myself by such negligence of my own health, as i had felt even at the time to be wrong. had i died,--it would have been self-destruction. i did not know my danger till the danger was removed; but with such feelings as these reflections gave me, i wonder at my recovery,--wonder that the very eagerness of my desire to live, to have time for atonement to my god, and to you all, did not kill me at once. had i died,--in what peculiar misery should i have left you, my nurse, my friend, my sister!--you, who had seen all the fretful selfishness of my latter days; who had known all the murmurings of my heart!--how should i have lived in your remembrance!--my mother too! how could you have consoled her!--i cannot express my own abhorrence of myself. whenever i looked towards the past, i saw some duty neglected, or some failing indulged. every body seemed injured by me. the kindness, the unceasing kindness of mrs. jennings, i had repaid with ungrateful contempt. to the middletons, to the palmers, the steeles, to every common acquaintance even, i had been insolent and unjust; with a heart hardened against their merits, and a temper irritated by their very attention.--to john, to fanny,--yes, even to them, little as they deserve, i had given less than their due. but you,--you above all, above my mother, had been wronged by me. i, and only i, knew your heart and its sorrows; yet to what did it influence me?--not to any compassion that could benefit you or myself.--your example was before me; but to what avail?--was i more considerate of you and your comfort? did i imitate your forbearance, or lessen your restraints, by taking any part in those offices of general complaisance or particular gratitude which you had hitherto been left to discharge alone?--no;--not less when i knew you to be unhappy, than when i had believed you at ease, did i turn away from every exertion of duty or friendship; scarcely allowing sorrow to exist but with me, regretting only that heart which had deserted and wronged me, and leaving you, for whom i professed an unbounded affection, to be miserable for my sake." here ceased the rapid flow of her self-reproving spirit; and elinor, impatient to soothe, though too honest to flatter, gave her instantly that praise and support which her frankness and her contrition so well deserved. marianne pressed her hand and replied, "you are very good.--the future must be my proof. i have laid down my plan, and if i am capable of adhering to it--my feelings shall be governed and my temper improved. they shall no longer worry others, nor torture myself. i shall now live solely for my family. you, my mother, and margaret, must henceforth be all the world to me; you will share my affections entirely between you. from you, from my home, i shall never again have the smallest incitement to move; and if i do mix in other society, it will be only to shew that my spirit is humbled, my heart amended, and that i can practise the civilities, the lesser duties of life, with gentleness and forbearance. as for willoughby--to say that i shall soon or that i shall ever forget him, would be idle. his remembrance can be overcome by no change of circumstances or opinions. but it shall be regulated, it shall be checked by religion, by reason, by constant employment." she paused--and added in a low voice, "if i could but know his heart, everything would become easy." elinor, who had now been for some time reflecting on the propriety or impropriety of speedily hazarding her narration, without feeling at all nearer decision than at first, heard this; and perceiving that as reflection did nothing, resolution must do all, soon found herself leading to the fact. she managed the recital, as she hoped, with address; prepared her anxious listener with caution; related simply and honestly the chief points on which willoughby grounded his apology; did justice to his repentance, and softened only his protestations of present regard. marianne said not a word.--she trembled, her eyes were fixed on the ground, and her lips became whiter than even sickness had left them. a thousand inquiries sprung up from her heart, but she dared not urge one. she caught every syllable with panting eagerness; her hand, unknowingly to herself, closely pressed her sister's, and tears covered her cheeks. elinor, dreading her being tired, led her towards home; and till they reached the door of the cottage, easily conjecturing what her curiosity must be though no question was suffered to speak it, talked of nothing but willoughby, and their conversation together; and was carefully minute in every particular of speech and look, where minuteness could be safely indulged. as soon as they entered the house, marianne with a kiss of gratitude and these two words just articulate through her tears, "tell mama," withdrew from her sister and walked slowly up stairs. elinor would not attempt to disturb a solitude so reasonable as what she now sought; and with a mind anxiously pre-arranging its result, and a resolution of reviving the subject again, should marianne fail to do it, she turned into the parlour to fulfill her parting injunction. chapter 47 mrs. dashwood did not hear unmoved the vindication of her former favourite. she rejoiced in his being cleared from some part of his imputed guilt;--she was sorry for him;--she wished him happy. but the feelings of the past could not be recalled.--nothing could restore him with a faith unbroken--a character unblemished, to marianne. nothing could do away the knowledge of what the latter had suffered through his means, nor remove the guilt of his conduct towards eliza. nothing could replace him, therefore, in her former esteem, nor injure the interests of colonel brandon. had mrs. dashwood, like her daughter, heard willoughby's story from himself--had she witnessed his distress, and been under the influence of his countenance and his manner, it is probable that her compassion would have been greater. but it was neither in elinor's power, nor in her wish, to rouse such feelings in another, by her retailed explanation, as had at first been called forth in herself. reflection had given calmness to her judgment, and sobered her own opinion of willoughby's deserts;--she wished, therefore, to declare only the simple truth, and lay open such facts as were really due to his character, without any embellishment of tenderness to lead the fancy astray. in the evening, when they were all three together, marianne began voluntarily to speak of him again;--but that it was not without an effort, the restless, unquiet thoughtfulness in which she had been for some time previously sitting--her rising colour, as she spoke,--and her unsteady voice, plainly shewed. "i wish to assure you both," said she, "that i see every thing--as you can desire me to do." mrs. dashwood would have interrupted her instantly with soothing tenderness, had not elinor, who really wished to hear her sister's unbiased opinion, by an eager sign, engaged her silence. marianne slowly continued-"it is a great relief to me--what elinor told me this morning--i have now heard exactly what i wished to hear."--for some moments her voice was lost; but recovering herself, she added, and with greater calmness than before--"i am now perfectly satisfied, i wish for no change. i never could have been happy with him, after knowing, as sooner or later i must have known, all this.--i should have had no confidence, no esteem. nothing could have done it away to my feelings." "i know it--i know it," cried her mother. "happy with a man of libertine practices!--with one who so injured the peace of the dearest of our friends, and the best of men!--no--my marianne has not a heart to be made happy with such a man!--her conscience, her sensitive conscience, would have felt all that the conscience of her husband ought to have felt." marianne sighed, and repeated, "i wish for no change." "you consider the matter," said elinor, "exactly as a good mind and a sound understanding must consider it; and i dare say you perceive, as well as myself, not only in this, but in many other circumstances, reason enough to be convinced that your marriage must have involved you in many certain troubles and disappointments, in which you would have been poorly supported by an affection, on his side, much less certain. had you married, you must have been always poor. his expensiveness is acknowledged even by himself, and his whole conduct declares that self-denial is a word hardly understood by him. his demands and your inexperience together, on a small, very small income, must have brought on distresses which would not be the less grievous to you, from having been entirely unknown and unthought of before. your sense of honour and honesty would have led you, i know, when aware of your situation, to attempt all the economy that would appear to you possible: and, perhaps, as long as your frugality retrenched only on your own comfort, you might have been suffered to practice it, but beyond that--and how little could the utmost of your single management do to stop the ruin which had begun before your marriage?-beyond that, had you endeavoured, however reasonably, to abridge his enjoyments, is it not to be feared, that instead of prevailing on feelings so selfish to consent to it, you would have lessened your own influence on his heart, and made him regret the connection which had involved him in such difficulties?" marianne's lips quivered, and she repeated the word "selfish?" in a tone that implied--"do you really think him selfish?" "the whole of his behaviour," replied elinor, "from the beginning to the end of the affair, has been grounded on selfishness. it was selfishness which first made him sport with your affections; which afterwards, when his own were engaged, made him delay the confession of it, and which finally carried him from barton. his own enjoyment, or his own ease, was, in every particular, his ruling principle." "it is very true. my happiness never was his object." "at present," continued elinor, "he regrets what he has done. and why does he regret it?--because he finds it has not answered towards himself. it has not made him happy. his circumstances are now unembarrassed--he suffers from no evil of that kind; and he thinks only that he has married a woman of a less amiable temper than yourself. but does it follow that had he married you, he would have been happy?--the inconveniences would have been different. he would then have suffered under the pecuniary distresses which, because they are removed, he now reckons as nothing. he would have had a wife of whose temper he could make no complaint, but he would have been always necessitous--always poor; and probably would soon have learned to rank the innumerable comforts of a clear estate and good income as of far more importance, even to domestic happiness, than the mere temper of a wife." "i have not a doubt of it," said marianne; "and i have nothing to regret--nothing but my own folly." "rather say your mother's imprudence, my child," said mrs. dashwood; "she must be answerable." marianne would not let her proceed;--and elinor, satisfied that each felt their own error, wished to avoid any survey of the past that might weaken her sister's spirits; she, therefore, pursuing the first subject, immediately continued, "one observation may, i think, be fairly drawn from the whole of the story--that all willoughby's difficulties have arisen from the first offence against virtue, in his behaviour to eliza williams. that crime has been the origin of every lesser one, and of all his present discontents." marianne assented most feelingly to the remark; and her mother was led by it to an enumeration of colonel brandon's injuries and merits, warm as friendship and design could unitedly dictate. her daughter did not look, however, as if much of it were heard by her. elinor, according to her expectation, saw on the two or three following days, that marianne did not continue to gain strength as she had done; but while her resolution was unsubdued, and she still tried to appear cheerful and easy, her sister could safely trust to the effect of time upon her health. margaret returned, and the family were again all restored to each other, again quietly settled at the cottage; and if not pursuing their usual studies with quite so much vigour as when they first came to barton, at least planning a vigorous prosecution of them in future. elinor grew impatient for some tidings of edward. she had heard nothing of him since her leaving london, nothing new of his plans, nothing certain even of his present abode. some letters had passed between her and her brother, in consequence of marianne's illness; and in the first of john's, there had been this sentence:-"we know nothing of our unfortunate edward, and can make no enquiries on so prohibited a subject, but conclude him to be still at oxford;" which was all the intelligence of edward afforded her by the correspondence, for his name was not even mentioned in any of the succeeding letters. she was not doomed, however, to be long in ignorance of his measures. their man-servant had been sent one morning to exeter on business; and when, as he waited at table, he had satisfied the inquiries of his mistress as to the event of his errand, this was his voluntary communication-"i suppose you know, ma'am, that mr. ferrars is married." marianne gave a violent start, fixed her eyes upon elinor, saw her turning pale, and fell back in her chair in hysterics. mrs. dashwood, whose eyes, as she answered the servant's inquiry, had intuitively taken the same direction, was shocked to perceive by elinor's countenance how much she really suffered, and a moment afterwards, alike distressed by marianne's situation, knew not on which child to bestow her principal attention. the servant, who saw only that miss marianne was taken ill, had sense enough to call one of the maids, who, with mrs. dashwood's assistance, supported her into the other room. by that time, marianne was rather better, and her mother leaving her to the care of margaret and the maid, returned to elinor, who, though still much disordered, had so far recovered the use of her reason and voice as to be just beginning an inquiry of thomas, as to the source of his intelligence. mrs. dashwood immediately took all that trouble on herself; and elinor had the benefit of the information without the exertion of seeking it. "who told you that mr. ferrars was married, thomas?" "i see mr. ferrars myself, ma'am, this morning in exeter, and his lady too, miss steele as was. they was stopping in a chaise at the door of the new london inn, as i went there with a message from sally at the park to her brother, who is one of the post-boys. i happened to look up as i went by the chaise, and so i see directly it was the youngest miss steele; so i took off my hat, and she knew me and called to me, and inquired after you, ma'am, and the young ladies, especially miss marianne, and bid me i should give her compliments and mr. ferrars's, their best compliments and service, and how sorry they was they had not time to come on and see you, but they was in a great hurry to go forwards, for they was going further down for a little while, but howsever, when they come back, they'd make sure to come and see you." "but did she tell you she was married, thomas?" "yes, ma'am. she smiled, and said how she had changed her name since she was in these parts. she was always a very affable and free-spoken young lady, and very civil behaved. so, i made free to wish her joy." "was mr. ferrars in the carriage with her?" "yes, ma'am, i just see him leaning back in it, but he did not look up;--he never was a gentleman much for talking." elinor's heart could easily account for his not putting himself forward; and mrs. dashwood probably found the same explanation. "was there no one else in the carriage?" "no, ma'am, only they two." "do you know where they came from?" "they come straight from town, as miss lucy--mrs. ferrars told me." "and are they going farther westward?" "yes, ma'am--but not to bide long. they will soon be back again, and then they'd be sure and call here." mrs. dashwood now looked at her daughter; but elinor knew better than to expect them. she recognised the whole of lucy in the message, and was very confident that edward would never come near them. she observed in a low voice, to her mother, that they were probably going down to mr. pratt's, near plymouth. thomas's intelligence seemed over. elinor looked as if she wished to hear more. "did you see them off, before you came away?" "no, ma'am--the horses were just coming out, but i could not bide any longer; i was afraid of being late." "did mrs. ferrars look well?" "yes, ma'am, she said how she was very well; and to my mind she was always a very handsome young lady--and she seemed vastly contented." mrs. dashwood could think of no other question, and thomas and the tablecloth, now alike needless, were soon afterwards dismissed. marianne had already sent to say, that she should eat nothing more. mrs. dashwood's and elinor's appetites were equally lost, and margaret might think herself very well off, that with so much uneasiness as both her sisters had lately experienced, so much reason as they had often had to be careless of their meals, she had never been obliged to go without her dinner before. when the dessert and the wine were arranged, and mrs. dashwood and elinor were left by themselves, they remained long together in a similarity of thoughtfulness and silence. mrs. dashwood feared to hazard any remark, and ventured not to offer consolation. she now found that she had erred in relying on elinor's representation of herself; and justly concluded that every thing had been expressly softened at the time, to spare her from an increase of unhappiness, suffering as she then had suffered for marianne. she found that she had been misled by the careful, the considerate attention of her daughter, to think the attachment, which once she had so well understood, much slighter in reality, than she had been wont to believe, or than it was now proved to be. she feared that under this persuasion she had been unjust, inattentive, nay, almost unkind, to her elinor;--that marianne's affliction, because more acknowledged, more immediately before her, had too much engrossed her tenderness, and led her away to forget that in elinor she might have a daughter suffering almost as much, certainly with less self-provocation, and greater fortitude. chapter 48 elinor now found the difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event, however certain the mind may be told to consider it, and certainty itself. she now found, that in spite of herself, she had always admitted a hope, while edward remained single, that something would occur to prevent his marrying lucy; that some resolution of his own, some mediation of friends, or some more eligible opportunity of establishment for the lady, would arise to assist the happiness of all. but he was now married; and she condemned her heart for the lurking flattery, which so much heightened the pain of the intelligence. that he should be married soon, before (as she imagined) he could be in orders, and consequently before he could be in possession of the living, surprised her a little at first. but she soon saw how likely it was that lucy, in her self-provident care, in her haste to secure him, should overlook every thing but the risk of delay. they were married, married in town, and now hastening down to her uncle's. what had edward felt on being within four miles from barton, on seeing her mother's servant, on hearing lucy's message! they would soon, she supposed, be settled at delaford.--delaford,--that place in which so much conspired to give her an interest; which she wished to be acquainted with, and yet desired to avoid. she saw them in an instant in their parsonage-house; saw in lucy, the active, contriving manager, uniting at once a desire of smart appearance with the utmost frugality, and ashamed to be suspected of half her economical practices;--pursuing her own interest in every thought, courting the favour of colonel brandon, of mrs. jennings, and of every wealthy friend. in edward--she knew not what she saw, nor what she wished to see;--happy or unhappy,--nothing pleased her; she turned away her head from every sketch of him. elinor flattered herself that some one of their connections in london would write to them to announce the event, and give farther particulars,--but day after day passed off, and brought no letter, no tidings. though uncertain that any one were to blame, she found fault with every absent friend. they were all thoughtless or indolent. "when do you write to colonel brandon, ma'am?" was an inquiry which sprung from the impatience of her mind to have something going on. "i wrote to him, my love, last week, and rather expect to see, than to hear from him again. i earnestly pressed his coming to us, and should not be surprised to see him walk in today or tomorrow, or any day." this was gaining something, something to look forward to. colonel brandon must have some information to give. scarcely had she so determined it, when the figure of a man on horseback drew her eyes to the window. he stopt at their gate. it was a gentleman, it was colonel brandon himself. now she could hear more; and she trembled in expectation of it. but--it was not colonel brandon--neither his air--nor his height. were it possible, she must say it must be edward. she looked again. he had just dismounted;--she could not be mistaken,--it was edward. she moved away and sat down. "he comes from mr. pratt's purposely to see us. i will be calm; i will be mistress of myself." in a moment she perceived that the others were likewise aware of the mistake. she saw her mother and marianne change colour; saw them look at herself, and whisper a few sentences to each other. she would have given the world to be able to speak--and to make them understand that she hoped no coolness, no slight, would appear in their behaviour to him;--but she had no utterance, and was obliged to leave all to their own discretion. not a syllable passed aloud. they all waited in silence for the appearance of their visitor. his footsteps were heard along the gravel path; in a moment he was in the passage, and in another he was before them. his countenance, as he entered the room, was not too happy, even for elinor. his complexion was white with agitation, and he looked as if fearful of his reception, and conscious that he merited no kind one. mrs. dashwood, however, conforming, as she trusted, to the wishes of that daughter, by whom she then meant in the warmth of her heart to be guided in every thing, met with a look of forced complacency, gave him her hand, and wished him joy. he coloured, and stammered out an unintelligible reply. elinor's lips had moved with her mother's, and, when the moment of action was over, she wished that she had shaken hands with him too. but it was then too late, and with a countenance meaning to be open, she sat down again and talked of the weather. marianne had retreated as much as possible out of sight, to conceal her distress; and margaret, understanding some part, but not the whole of the case, thought it incumbent on her to be dignified, and therefore took a seat as far from him as she could, and maintained a strict silence. when elinor had ceased to rejoice in the dryness of the season, a very awful pause took place. it was put an end to by mrs. dashwood, who felt obliged to hope that he had left mrs. ferrars very well. in a hurried manner, he replied in the affirmative. another pause. elinor resolving to exert herself, though fearing the sound of her own voice, now said, "is mrs. ferrars at longstaple?" "at longstaple!" he replied, with an air of surprise.-"no, my mother is in town." "i meant," said elinor, taking up some work from the table, "to inquire for mrs. edward ferrars." she dared not look up;--but her mother and marianne both turned their eyes on him. he coloured, seemed perplexed, looked doubtingly, and, after some hesitation, said,-"perhaps you mean--my brother--you mean mrs.--mrs. robert ferrars." "mrs. robert ferrars!"--was repeated by marianne and her mother in an accent of the utmost amazement;--and though elinor could not speak, even her eyes were fixed on him with the same impatient wonder. he rose from his seat, and walked to the window, apparently from not knowing what to do; took up a pair of scissors that lay there, and while spoiling both them and their sheath by cutting the latter to pieces as he spoke, said, in a hurried voice, "perhaps you do not know--you may not have heard that my brother is lately married to--to the youngest--to miss lucy steele." his words were echoed with unspeakable astonishment by all but elinor, who sat with her head leaning over her work, in a state of such agitation as made her hardly know where she was. "yes," said he, "they were married last week, and are now at dawlish." elinor could sit it no longer. she almost ran out of the room, and as soon as the door was closed, burst into tears of joy, which at first she thought would never cease. edward, who had till then looked any where, rather than at her, saw her hurry away, and perhaps saw--or even heard, her emotion; for immediately afterwards he fell into a reverie, which no remarks, no inquiries, no affectionate address of mrs. dashwood could penetrate, and at last, without saying a word, quitted the room, and walked out towards the village--leaving the others in the greatest astonishment and perplexity on a change in his situation, so wonderful and so sudden;--a perplexity which they had no means of lessening but by their own conjectures. chapter 49 unaccountable, however, as the circumstances of his release might appear to the whole family, it was certain that edward was free; and to what purpose that freedom would be employed was easily pre-determined by all;--for after experiencing the blessings of one imprudent engagement, contracted without his mother's consent, as he had already done for more than four years, nothing less could be expected of him in the failure of that, than the immediate contraction of another. his errand at barton, in fact, was a simple one. it was only to ask elinor to marry him;--and considering that he was not altogether inexperienced in such a question, it might be strange that he should feel so uncomfortable in the present case as he really did, so much in need of encouragement and fresh air. how soon he had walked himself into the proper resolution, however, how soon an opportunity of exercising it occurred, in what manner he expressed himself, and how he was received, need not be particularly told. this only need be said;--that when they all sat down to table at four o'clock, about three hours after his arrival, he had secured his lady, engaged her mother's consent, and was not only in the rapturous profession of the lover, but, in the reality of reason and truth, one of the happiest of men. his situation indeed was more than commonly joyful. he had more than the ordinary triumph of accepted love to swell his heart, and raise his spirits. he was released without any reproach to himself, from an entanglement which had long formed his misery, from a woman whom he had long ceased to love;--and elevated at once to that security with another, which he must have thought of almost with despair, as soon as he had learnt to consider it with desire. he was brought, not from doubt or suspense, but from misery to happiness;--and the change was openly spoken in such a genuine, flowing, grateful cheerfulness, as his friends had never witnessed in him before. his heart was now open to elinor, all its weaknesses, all its errors confessed, and his first boyish attachment to lucy treated with all the philosophic dignity of twenty-four. "it was a foolish, idle inclination on my side," said he, "the consequence of ignorance of the world--and want of employment. had my mother given me some active profession when i was removed at eighteen from the care of mr. pratt, i think--nay, i am sure, it would never have happened; for though i left longstaple with what i thought, at the time, a most unconquerable preference for his niece, yet had i then had any pursuit, any object to engage my time and keep me at a distance from her for a few months, i should very soon have outgrown the fancied attachment, especially by mixing more with the world, as in such case i must have done. but instead of having any thing to do, instead of having any profession chosen for me, or being allowed to chuse any myself, i returned home to be completely idle; and for the first twelvemonth afterwards i had not even the nominal employment, which belonging to the university would have given me; for i was not entered at oxford till i was nineteen. i had therefore nothing in the world to do, but to fancy myself in love; and as my mother did not make my home in every respect comfortable, as i had no friend, no companion in my brother, and disliked new acquaintance, it was not unnatural for me to be very often at longstaple, where i always felt myself at home, and was always sure of a welcome; and accordingly i spent the greatest part of my time there from eighteen to nineteen: lucy appeared everything that was amiable and obliging. she was pretty too--at least i thought so then; and i had seen so little of other women, that i could make no comparisons, and see no defects. considering everything, therefore, i hope, foolish as our engagement was, foolish as it has since in every way been proved, it was not at the time an unnatural or an inexcusable piece of folly." the change which a few hours had wrought in the minds and the happiness of the dashwoods, was such--so great--as promised them all, the satisfaction of a sleepless night. mrs. dashwood, too happy to be comfortable, knew not how to love edward, nor praise elinor enough, how to be enough thankful for his release without wounding his delicacy, nor how at once to give them leisure for unrestrained conversation together, and yet enjoy, as she wished, the sight and society of both. marianne could speak her happiness only by tears. comparisons would occur--regrets would arise;--and her joy, though sincere as her love for her sister, was of a kind to give her neither spirits nor language. but elinor--how are her feelings to be described?--from the moment of learning that lucy was married to another, that edward was free, to the moment of his justifying the hopes which had so instantly followed, she was every thing by turns but tranquil. but when the second moment had passed, when she found every doubt, every solicitude removed, compared her situation with what so lately it had been,--saw him honourably released from his former engagement, saw him instantly profiting by the release, to address herself and declare an affection as tender, as constant as she had ever supposed it to be,--she was oppressed, she was overcome by her own felicity;--and happily disposed as is the human mind to be easily familiarized with any change for the better, it required several hours to give sedateness to her spirits, or any degree of tranquillity to her heart. edward was now fixed at the cottage at least for a week;--for whatever other claims might be made on him, it was impossible that less than a week should be given up to the enjoyment of elinor's company, or suffice to say half that was to be said of the past, the present, and the future;--for though a very few hours spent in the hard labor of incessant talking will despatch more subjects than can really be in common between any two rational creatures, yet with lovers it is different. between them no subject is finished, no communication is even made, till it has been made at least twenty times over. lucy's marriage, the unceasing and reasonable wonder among them all, formed of course one of the earliest discussions of the lovers;--and elinor's particular knowledge of each party made it appear to her in every view, as one of the most extraordinary and unaccountable circumstances she had ever heard. how they could be thrown together, and by what attraction robert could be drawn on to marry a girl, of whose beauty she had herself heard him speak without any admiration,--a girl too already engaged to his brother, and on whose account that brother had been thrown off by his family--it was beyond her comprehension to make out. to her own heart it was a delightful affair, to her imagination it was even a ridiculous one, but to her reason, her judgment, it was completely a puzzle. edward could only attempt an explanation by supposing, that, perhaps, at first accidentally meeting, the vanity of the one had been so worked on by the flattery of the other, as to lead by degrees to all the rest. elinor remembered what robert had told her in harley street, of his opinion of what his own mediation in his brother's affairs might have done, if applied to in time. she repeated it to edward. "that was exactly like robert,"--was his immediate observation.--"and that," he presently added, "might perhaps be in his head when the acquaintance between them first began. and lucy perhaps at first might think only of procuring his good offices in my favour. other designs might afterward arise." how long it had been carrying on between them, however, he was equally at a loss with herself to make out; for at oxford, where he had remained for choice ever since his quitting london, he had had no means of hearing of her but from herself, and her letters to the very last were neither less frequent, nor less affectionate than usual. not the smallest suspicion, therefore, had ever occurred to prepare him for what followed;--and when at last it burst on him in a letter from lucy herself, he had been for some time, he believed, half stupified between the wonder, the horror, and the joy of such a deliverance. he put the letter into elinor's hands. "dear sir, "being very sure i have long lost your affections, i have thought myself at liberty to bestow my own on another, and have no doubt of being as happy with him as i once used to think i might be with you; but i scorn to accept a hand while the heart was another's. sincerely wish you happy in your choice, and it shall not be my fault if we are not always good friends, as our near relationship now makes proper. i can safely say i owe you no ill-will, and am sure you will be too generous to do us any ill offices. your brother has gained my affections entirely, and as we could not live without one another, we are just returned from the altar, and are now on our way to dawlish for a few weeks, which place your dear brother has great curiosity to see, but thought i would first trouble you with these few lines, and shall always remain, "your sincere well-wisher, friend, and sister, "lucy ferrars. "i have burnt all your letters, and will return your picture the first opportunity. please to destroy my scrawls--but the ring with my hair you are very welcome to keep." elinor read and returned it without any comment. "i will not ask your opinion of it as a composition," said edward.--"for worlds would not i have had a letter of hers seen by you in former days.--in a sister it is bad enough, but in a wife!--how i have blushed over the pages of her writing!--and i believe i may say that since the first half year of our foolish--business--this is the only letter i ever received from her, of which the substance made me any amends for the defect of the style." "however it may have come about," said elinor, after a pause,--"they are certainly married. and your mother has brought on herself a most appropriate punishment. the independence she settled on robert, through resentment against you, has put it in his power to make his own choice; and she has actually been bribing one son with a thousand a-year, to do the very deed which she disinherited the other for intending to do. she will hardly be less hurt, i suppose, by robert's marrying lucy, than she would have been by your marrying her." "she will be more hurt by it, for robert always was her favourite.--she will be more hurt by it, and on the same principle will forgive him much sooner." in what state the affair stood at present between them, edward knew not, for no communication with any of his family had yet been attempted by him. he had quitted oxford within four and twenty hours after lucy's letter arrived, and with only one object before him, the nearest road to barton, had had no leisure to form any scheme of conduct, with which that road did not hold the most intimate connection. he could do nothing till he were assured of his fate with miss dashwood; and by his rapidity in seeking that fate, it is to be supposed, in spite of the jealousy with which he had once thought of colonel brandon, in spite of the modesty with which he rated his own deserts, and the politeness with which he talked of his doubts, he did not, upon the whole, expect a very cruel reception. it was his business, however, to say that he did, and he said it very prettily. what he might say on the subject a twelvemonth after, must be referred to the imagination of husbands and wives. that lucy had certainly meant to deceive, to go off with a flourish of malice against him in her message by thomas, was perfectly clear to elinor; and edward himself, now thoroughly enlightened on her character, had no scruple in believing her capable of the utmost meanness of wanton ill-nature. though his eyes had been long opened, even before his acquaintance with elinor began, to her ignorance and a want of liberality in some of her opinions--they had been equally imputed, by him, to her want of education; and till her last letter reached him, he had always believed her to be a well-disposed, good-hearted girl, and thoroughly attached to himself. nothing but such a persuasion could have prevented his putting an end to an engagement, which, long before the discovery of it laid him open to his mother's anger, had been a continual source of disquiet and regret to him. "i thought it my duty," said he, "independent of my feelings, to give her the option of continuing the engagement or not, when i was renounced by my mother, and stood to all appearance without a friend in the world to assist me. in such a situation as that, where there seemed nothing to tempt the avarice or the vanity of any living creature, how could i suppose, when she so earnestly, so warmly insisted on sharing my fate, whatever it might be, that any thing but the most disinterested affection was her inducement? and even now, i cannot comprehend on what motive she acted, or what fancied advantage it could be to her, to be fettered to a man for whom she had not the smallest regard, and who had only two thousand pounds in the world. she could not foresee that colonel brandon would give me a living." "no; but she might suppose that something would occur in your favour; that your own family might in time relent. and at any rate, she lost nothing by continuing the engagement, for she has proved that it fettered neither her inclination nor her actions. the connection was certainly a respectable one, and probably gained her consideration among her friends; and, if nothing more advantageous occurred, it would be better for her to marry you than be single." edward was, of course, immediately convinced that nothing could have been more natural than lucy's conduct, nor more self-evident than the motive of it. elinor scolded him, harshly as ladies always scold the imprudence which compliments themselves, for having spent so much time with them at norland, when he must have felt his own inconstancy. "your behaviour was certainly very wrong," said she; "because--to say nothing of my own conviction, our relations were all led away by it to fancy and expect what, as you were then situated, could never be." he could only plead an ignorance of his own heart, and a mistaken confidence in the force of his engagement. "i was simple enough to think, that because my faith was plighted to another, there could be no danger in my being with you; and that the consciousness of my engagement was to keep my heart as safe and sacred as my honour. i felt that i admired you, but i told myself it was only friendship; and till i began to make comparisons between yourself and lucy, i did not know how far i was got. after that, i suppose, i was wrong in remaining so much in sussex, and the arguments with which i reconciled myself to the expediency of it, were no better than these:--the danger is my own; i am doing no injury to anybody but myself." elinor smiled, and shook her head. edward heard with pleasure of colonel brandon's being expected at the cottage, as he really wished not only to be better acquainted with him, but to have an opportunity of convincing him that he no longer resented his giving him the living of delaford--"which, at present," said he, "after thanks so ungraciously delivered as mine were on the occasion, he must think i have never forgiven him for offering." now he felt astonished himself that he had never yet been to the place. but so little interest had he taken in the matter, that he owed all his knowledge of the house, garden, and glebe, extent of the parish, condition of the land, and rate of the tithes, to elinor herself, who had heard so much of it from colonel brandon, and heard it with so much attention, as to be entirely mistress of the subject. one question after this only remained undecided, between them, one difficulty only was to be overcome. they were brought together by mutual affection, with the warmest approbation of their real friends; their intimate knowledge of each other seemed to make their happiness certain--and they only wanted something to live upon. edward had two thousand pounds, and elinor one, which, with delaford living, was all that they could call their own; for it was impossible that mrs. dashwood should advance anything; and they were neither of them quite enough in love to think that three hundred and fifty pounds a-year would supply them with the comforts of life. edward was not entirely without hopes of some favourable change in his mother towards him; and on that he rested for the residue of their income. but elinor had no such dependence; for since edward would still be unable to marry miss morton, and his chusing herself had been spoken of in mrs. ferrars's flattering language as only a lesser evil than his chusing lucy steele, she feared that robert's offence would serve no other purpose than to enrich fanny. about four days after edward's arrival colonel brandon appeared, to complete mrs. dashwood's satisfaction, and to give her the dignity of having, for the first time since her living at barton, more company with her than her house would hold. edward was allowed to retain the privilege of first comer, and colonel brandon therefore walked every night to his old quarters at the park; from whence he usually returned in the morning, early enough to interrupt the lovers' first tete-a-tete before breakfast. a three weeks' residence at delaford, where, in his evening hours at least, he had little to do but to calculate the disproportion between thirty-six and seventeen, brought him to barton in a temper of mind which needed all the improvement in marianne's looks, all the kindness of her welcome, and all the encouragement of her mother's language, to make it cheerful. among such friends, however, and such flattery, he did revive. no rumour of lucy's marriage had yet reached him:--he knew nothing of what had passed; and the first hours of his visit were consequently spent in hearing and in wondering. every thing was explained to him by mrs. dashwood, and he found fresh reason to rejoice in what he had done for mr. ferrars, since eventually it promoted the interest of elinor. it would be needless to say, that the gentlemen advanced in the good opinion of each other, as they advanced in each other's acquaintance, for it could not be otherwise. their resemblance in good principles and good sense, in disposition and manner of thinking, would probably have been sufficient to unite them in friendship, without any other attraction; but their being in love with two sisters, and two sisters fond of each other, made that mutual regard inevitable and immediate, which might otherwise have waited the effect of time and judgment. the letters from town, which a few days before would have made every nerve in elinor's body thrill with transport, now arrived to be read with less emotion than mirth. mrs. jennings wrote to tell the wonderful tale, to vent her honest indignation against the jilting girl, and pour forth her compassion towards poor mr. edward, who, she was sure, had quite doted upon the worthless hussy, and was now, by all accounts, almost broken-hearted, at oxford.-"i do think," she continued, "nothing was ever carried on so sly; for it was but two days before lucy called and sat a couple of hours with me. not a soul suspected anything of the matter, not even nancy, who, poor soul! came crying to me the day after, in a great fright for fear of mrs. ferrars, as well as not knowing how to get to plymouth; for lucy it seems borrowed all her money before she went off to be married, on purpose we suppose to make a show with, and poor nancy had not seven shillings in the world;--so i was very glad to give her five guineas to take her down to exeter, where she thinks of staying three or four weeks with mrs. burgess, in hopes, as i tell her, to fall in with the doctor again. and i must say that lucy's crossness not to take them along with them in the chaise is worse than all. poor mr. edward! i cannot get him out of my head, but you must send for him to barton, and miss marianne must try to comfort him." mr. dashwood's strains were more solemn. mrs. ferrars was the most unfortunate of women--poor fanny had suffered agonies of sensibility--and he considered the existence of each, under such a blow, with grateful wonder. robert's offence was unpardonable, but lucy's was infinitely worse. neither of them were ever again to be mentioned to mrs. ferrars; and even, if she might hereafter be induced to forgive her son, his wife should never be acknowledged as her daughter, nor be permitted to appear in her presence. the secrecy with which everything had been carried on between them, was rationally treated as enormously heightening the crime, because, had any suspicion of it occurred to the others, proper measures would have been taken to prevent the marriage; and he called on elinor to join with him in regretting that lucy's engagement with edward had not rather been fulfilled, than that she should thus be the means of spreading misery farther in the family.-he thus continued: "mrs. ferrars has never yet mentioned edward's name, which does not surprise us; but, to our great astonishment, not a line has been received from him on the occasion. perhaps, however, he is kept silent by his fear of offending, and i shall, therefore, give him a hint, by a line to oxford, that his sister and i both think a letter of proper submission from him, addressed perhaps to fanny, and by her shewn to her mother, might not be taken amiss; for we all know the tenderness of mrs. ferrars's heart, and that she wishes for nothing so much as to be on good terms with her children." this paragraph was of some importance to the prospects and conduct of edward. it determined him to attempt a reconciliation, though not exactly in the manner pointed out by their brother and sister. "a letter of proper submission!" repeated he; "would they have me beg my mother's pardon for robert's ingratitude to her, and breach of honour to me?--i can make no submission--i am grown neither humble nor penitent by what has passed.--i am grown very happy; but that would not interest.--i know of no submission that is proper for me to make." "you may certainly ask to be forgiven," said elinor, "because you have offended;--and i should think you might now venture so far as to profess some concern for having ever formed the engagement which drew on you your mother's anger." he agreed that he might. "and when she has forgiven you, perhaps a little humility may be convenient while acknowledging a second engagement, almost as imprudent in her eyes as the first." he had nothing to urge against it, but still resisted the idea of a letter of proper submission; and therefore, to make it easier to him, as he declared a much greater willingness to make mean concessions by word of mouth than on paper, it was resolved that, instead of writing to fanny, he should go to london, and personally intreat her good offices in his favour.-"and if they really do interest themselves," said marianne, in her new character of candour, "in bringing about a reconciliation, i shall think that even john and fanny are not entirely without merit." after a visit on colonel brandon's side of only three or four days, the two gentlemen quitted barton together.-they were to go immediately to delaford, that edward might have some personal knowledge of his future home, and assist his patron and friend in deciding on what improvements were needed to it; and from thence, after staying there a couple of nights, he was to proceed on his journey to town. chapter 50 after a proper resistance on the part of mrs. ferrars, just so violent and so steady as to preserve her from that reproach which she always seemed fearful of incurring, the reproach of being too amiable, edward was admitted to her presence, and pronounced to be again her son. her family had of late been exceedingly fluctuating. for many years of her life she had had two sons; but the crime and annihilation of edward a few weeks ago, had robbed her of one; the similar annihilation of robert had left her for a fortnight without any; and now, by the resuscitation of edward, she had one again. in spite of his being allowed once more to live, however, he did not feel the continuance of his existence secure, till he had revealed his present engagement; for the publication of that circumstance, he feared, might give a sudden turn to his constitution, and carry him off as rapidly as before. with apprehensive caution therefore it was revealed, and he was listened to with unexpected calmness. mrs. ferrars at first reasonably endeavoured to dissuade him from marrying miss dashwood, by every argument in her power;--told him, that in miss morton he would have a woman of higher rank and larger fortune;--and enforced the assertion, by observing that miss morton was the daughter of a nobleman with thirty thousand pounds, while miss dashwood was only the daughter of a private gentleman with no more than three; but when she found that, though perfectly admitting the truth of her representation, he was by no means inclined to be guided by it, she judged it wisest, from the experience of the past, to submit--and therefore, after such an ungracious delay as she owed to her own dignity, and as served to prevent every suspicion of good-will, she issued her decree of consent to the marriage of edward and elinor. what she would engage to do towards augmenting their income was next to be considered; and here it plainly appeared, that though edward was now her only son, he was by no means her eldest; for while robert was inevitably endowed with a thousand pounds a-year, not the smallest objection was made against edward's taking orders for the sake of two hundred and fifty at the utmost; nor was anything promised either for the present or in future, beyond the ten thousand pounds, which had been given with fanny. it was as much, however, as was desired, and more than was expected, by edward and elinor; and mrs. ferrars herself, by her shuffling excuses, seemed the only person surprised at her not giving more. with an income quite sufficient to their wants thus secured to them, they had nothing to wait for after edward was in possession of the living, but the readiness of the house, to which colonel brandon, with an eager desire for the accommodation of elinor, was making considerable improvements; and after waiting some time for their completion, after experiencing, as usual, a thousand disappointments and delays from the unaccountable dilatoriness of the workmen, elinor, as usual, broke through the first positive resolution of not marrying till every thing was ready, and the ceremony took place in barton church early in the autumn. the first month after their marriage was spent with their friend at the mansion-house; from whence they could superintend the progress of the parsonage, and direct every thing as they liked on the spot;--could chuse papers, project shrubberies, and invent a sweep. mrs. jennings's prophecies, though rather jumbled together, were chiefly fulfilled; for she was able to visit edward and his wife in their parsonage by michaelmas, and she found in elinor and her husband, as she really believed, one of the happiest couples in the world. they had in fact nothing to wish for, but the marriage of colonel brandon and marianne, and rather better pasturage for their cows. they were visited on their first settling by almost all their relations and friends. mrs. ferrars came to inspect the happiness which she was almost ashamed of having authorised; and even the dashwoods were at the expense of a journey from sussex to do them honour. "i will not say that i am disappointed, my dear sister," said john, as they were walking together one morning before the gates of delaford house, "that would be saying too much, for certainly you have been one of the most fortunate young women in the world, as it is. but, i confess, it would give me great pleasure to call colonel brandon brother. his property here, his place, his house, every thing is in such respectable and excellent condition!--and his woods!--i have not seen such timber any where in dorsetshire, as there is now standing in delaford hanger!--and though, perhaps, marianne may not seem exactly the person to attract him--yet i think it would altogether be advisable for you to have them now frequently staying with you, for as colonel brandon seems a great deal at home, nobody can tell what may happen--for, when people are much thrown together, and see little of anybody else--and it will always be in your power to set her off to advantage, and so forth;--in short, you may as well give her a chance--you understand me."-but though mrs. ferrars did come to see them, and always treated them with the make-believe of decent affection, they were never insulted by her real favour and preference. that was due to the folly of robert, and the cunning of his wife; and it was earned by them before many months had passed away. the selfish sagacity of the latter, which had at first drawn robert into the scrape, was the principal instrument of his deliverance from it; for her respectful humility, assiduous attentions, and endless flatteries, as soon as the smallest opening was given for their exercise, reconciled mrs. ferrars to his choice, and re-established him completely in her favour. the whole of lucy's behaviour in the affair, and the prosperity which crowned it, therefore, may be held forth as a most encouraging instance of what an earnest, an unceasing attention to self-interest, however its progress may be apparently obstructed, will do in securing every advantage of fortune, with no other sacrifice than that of time and conscience. when robert first sought her acquaintance, and privately visited her in bartlett's buildings, it was only with the view imputed to him by his brother. he merely meant to persuade her to give up the engagement; and as there could be nothing to overcome but the affection of both, he naturally expected that one or two interviews would settle the matter. in that point, however, and that only, he erred;--for though lucy soon gave him hopes that his eloquence would convince her in time, another visit, another conversation, was always wanted to produce this conviction. some doubts always lingered in her mind when they parted, which could only be removed by another half hour's discourse with himself. his attendance was by this means secured, and the rest followed in course. instead of talking of edward, they came gradually to talk only of robert,--a subject on which he had always more to say than on any other, and in which she soon betrayed an interest even equal to his own; and in short, it became speedily evident to both, that he had entirely supplanted his brother. he was proud of his conquest, proud of tricking edward, and very proud of marrying privately without his mother's consent. what immediately followed is known. they passed some months in great happiness at dawlish; for she had many relations and old acquaintances to cut--and he drew several plans for magnificent cottages;--and from thence returning to town, procured the forgiveness of mrs. ferrars, by the simple expedient of asking it, which, at lucy's instigation, was adopted. the forgiveness, at first, indeed, as was reasonable, comprehended only robert; and lucy, who had owed his mother no duty and therefore could have transgressed none, still remained some weeks longer unpardoned. but perseverance in humility of conduct and messages, in self-condemnation for robert's offence, and gratitude for the unkindness she was treated with, procured her in time the haughty notice which overcame her by its graciousness, and led soon afterwards, by rapid degrees, to the highest state of affection and influence. lucy became as necessary to mrs. ferrars, as either robert or fanny; and while edward was never cordially forgiven for having once intended to marry her, and elinor, though superior to her in fortune and birth, was spoken of as an intruder, she was in every thing considered, and always openly acknowledged, to be a favourite child. they settled in town, received very liberal assistance from mrs. ferrars, were on the best terms imaginable with the dashwoods; and setting aside the jealousies and ill-will continually subsisting between fanny and lucy, in which their husbands of course took a part, as well as the frequent domestic disagreements between robert and lucy themselves, nothing could exceed the harmony in which they all lived together. what edward had done to forfeit the right of eldest son, might have puzzled many people to find out; and what robert had done to succeed to it, might have puzzled them still more. it was an arrangement, however, justified in its effects, if not in its cause; for nothing ever appeared in robert's style of living or of talking to give a suspicion of his regretting the extent of his income, as either leaving his brother too little, or bringing himself too much;--and if edward might be judged from the ready discharge of his duties in every particular, from an increasing attachment to his wife and his home, and from the regular cheerfulness of his spirits, he might be supposed no less contented with his lot, no less free from every wish of an exchange. elinor's marriage divided her as little from her family as could well be contrived, without rendering the cottage at barton entirely useless, for her mother and sisters spent much more than half their time with her. mrs. dashwood was acting on motives of policy as well as pleasure in the frequency of her visits at delaford; for her wish of bringing marianne and colonel brandon together was hardly less earnest, though rather more liberal than what john had expressed. it was now her darling object. precious as was the company of her daughter to her, she desired nothing so much as to give up its constant enjoyment to her valued friend; and to see marianne settled at the mansion-house was equally the wish of edward and elinor. they each felt his sorrows, and their own obligations, and marianne, by general consent, was to be the reward of all. with such a confederacy against her--with a knowledge so intimate of his goodness--with a conviction of his fond attachment to herself, which at last, though long after it was observable to everybody else--burst on her--what could she do? marianne dashwood was born to an extraordinary fate. she was born to discover the falsehood of her own opinions, and to counteract, by her conduct, her most favourite maxims. she was born to overcome an affection formed so late in life as at seventeen, and with no sentiment superior to strong esteem and lively friendship, voluntarily to give her hand to another!--and that other, a man who had suffered no less than herself under the event of a former attachment, whom, two years before, she had considered too old to be married,--and who still sought the constitutional safeguard of a flannel waistcoat! but so it was. instead of falling a sacrifice to an irresistible passion, as once she had fondly flattered herself with expecting,--instead of remaining even for ever with her mother, and finding her only pleasures in retirement and study, as afterwards in her more calm and sober judgment she had determined on,--she found herself at nineteen, submitting to new attachments, entering on new duties, placed in a new home, a wife, the mistress of a family, and the patroness of a village. colonel brandon was now as happy, as all those who best loved him, believed he deserved to be;--in marianne he was consoled for every past affliction;--her regard and her society restored his mind to animation, and his spirits to cheerfulness; and that marianne found her own happiness in forming his, was equally the persuasion and delight of each observing friend. marianne could never love by halves; and her whole heart became, in time, as much devoted to her husband, as it had once been to willoughby. willoughby could not hear of her marriage without a pang; and his punishment was soon afterwards complete in the voluntary forgiveness of mrs. smith, who, by stating his marriage with a woman of character, as the source of her clemency, gave him reason for believing that had he behaved with honour towards marianne, he might at once have been happy and rich. that his repentance of misconduct, which thus brought its own punishment, was sincere, need not be doubted;--nor that he long thought of colonel brandon with envy, and of marianne with regret. but that he was for ever inconsolable, that he fled from society, or contracted an habitual gloom of temper, or died of a broken heart, must not be depended on--for he did neither. he lived to exert, and frequently to enjoy himself. his wife was not always out of humour, nor his home always uncomfortable; and in his breed of horses and dogs, and in sporting of every kind, he found no inconsiderable degree of domestic felicity. for marianne, however--in spite of his incivility in surviving her loss--he always retained that decided regard which interested him in every thing that befell her, and made her his secret standard of perfection in woman;--and many a rising beauty would be slighted by him in after-days as bearing no comparison with mrs. brandon. mrs. dashwood was prudent enough to remain at the cottage, without attempting a removal to delaford; and fortunately for sir john and mrs. jennings, when marianne was taken from them, margaret had reached an age highly suitable for dancing, and not very ineligible for being supposed to have a lover. between barton and delaford, there was that constant communication which strong family affection would naturally dictate;--and among the merits and the happiness of elinor and marianne, let it not be ranked as the least considerable, that though sisters, and living almost within sight of each other, they could live without disagreement between themselves, or producing coolness between their husbands. the end transcriber's note: the table of contents is not part of the original book. the illustration on page 290 is missing from the book. the introduction ends abruptly. seems incomplete. [illustration: _mr. dashwood introduced him._--p. 219.] sense & sensibility by jane austen with an introduction by austin dobson illustrated by hugh thomson london: macmillan and co., limited new york: the macmillan company 1902 _first edition with hugh thomson's illustrations_ 1896 * * * * * contents introduction list of illustrations chapter i chapter ii chapter iii chapter iv chapter v chapter vi chapter vii chapter viii chapter ix chapter x chapter xi chapter xii chapter xiii chapter xiv chapter xv chapter xvi chapter xvii chapter xviii chapter xix chapter xx chapter xxi chapter xxii chapter xxiii chapter xxiv chapter xxv chapter xxvi chapter xxvii chapter xxviii chapter xxix chapter xxx chapter xxxi chapter xxxii chapter xxxiii chapter xxxiv chapter xxxv chapter xxxvi chapter xxxvii chapter xxxviii chapter xxxix chapter xl chapter xli chapter xlii chapter xliii chapter xliv chapter xlv chapter xlvi chapter xlvii chapter xlviii chapter xlix chapter l * * * * * introduction with the title of _sense and sensibility_ is connected one of those minor problems which delight the cummin-splitters of criticism. in the _cecilia_ of madame d'arblay--the forerunner, if not the model, of miss austen--is a sentence which at first sight suggests some relationship to the name of the book which, in the present series, inaugurated miss austen's novels. 'the whole of this unfortunate business'--says a certain didactic dr. lyster, talking in capitals, towards the end of volume three of _cecilia_--'has been the result of pride and prejudice,' and looking to the admitted familiarity of miss austen with madame d'arblay's work, it has been concluded that miss austen borrowed from _cecilia_, the title of her second novel. but here comes in the little problem to which we have referred. _pride and prejudice_ it is true, was written and finished before _sense and sensibility_--its original title for several years being _first impressions_. then, in 1797, the author fell to work upon an older essay in letters _à la_ richardson, called _elinor and marianne_, which she re-christened _sense and sensibility._ this, as we know, was her first published book; and whatever may be the connection between the title of _pride and prejudice_ and the passage in _cecilia_, there is an obvious connection between the title of _pride and prejudice_ and the _title of sense and sensibility_. if miss austen re-christened _elinor and marianne_ before she changed the title of _first impressions_, as she well may have, it is extremely unlikely that the name of _pride and prejudice_ has anything to do with _cecilia_ (which, besides, had been published at least twenty years before). upon the whole, therefore, it is most likely that the passage in madame d'arblay is a mere coincidence; and that in _sense and sensibility_, as well as in the novel that succeeded it in publication, miss austen, after the fashion of the old morality plays, simply substituted the leading characteristics of her principal personages for their names. indeed, in _sense and sensibility_ the sense of elinor, and the sensibility (or rather _sensiblerie_) of marianne, are markedly emphasised in the opening pages of the book but miss austen subsequently, and, as we think, wisely, discarded in her remaining efforts the cheap attraction of an alliterative title. _emma_ and _persuasion, northanger abbey_ and _mansfield park_, are names far more in consonance with the quiet tone of her easy and unobtrusive art. _elinor and marianne_ was originally written about 1792. after the completion--or partial completion, for it was again revised in 1811--of _first impressions_ (subsequently _pride and prejudice_), miss austen set about recasting _elinor and marianne_, then composed in the form of letters; and she had no sooner accomplished this task, than she began _northanger abbey_. it would be interesting to know to what extent she remodelled _sense and sensibility_ in 1797-98, for we are told that previous to its publication in 1811 she again devoted a considerable time to its preparation for the press, and it is clear that this does not mean the correction of proofs alone, but also a preliminary revision of ms. especially would it be interesting if we could ascertain whether any of its more finished passages, _e.g._ the admirable conversation between the miss dashwoods and willoughby in chapter x., were the result of those fallow and apparently barren years at bath and southampton, or whether they were already part of the second version of 1797-98. but upon this matter the records are mute. a careful examination of the correspondence published by lord brabourne in 1884 only reveals two definite references to _sense and sensibility_ and these are absolutely unfruitful in suggestion. in april 1811 she speaks of having corrected two sheets of 's and s,' which she has scarcely a hope of getting out in the following june; and in september, an extract from the diary of another member of the family indirectly discloses the fact that the book had by that time been published. this extract is a brief reference to a letter which had been received from cassandra austen, begging her correspondent not to mention that aunt jane wrote _sense and sensibility._ beyond these minute items of information, and the statement--already referred to in the introduction to _pride and prejudice_--that she considered herself overpaid for the labour she had bestowed upon it, absolutely nothing seems to have been preserved by her descendants respecting her first printed effort. in the absence of particulars some of her critics have fallen to speculate upon the reason which made her select it, and not _pride and prejudice_, for her début; and they have, perhaps naturally, found in the fact a fresh confirmation of that traditional blindness of authors to their own best work, which is one of the commonplaces of literary history. but this is to premise that she _did_ regard it as her masterpiece, a fact which, apart from this accident of priority of issue, is, as far as we are aware, nowhere asserted. a simpler solution is probably that, of the three novels she had written or sketched by 1811, _pride and prejudice_ was languishing under the stigma of having been refused by one bookseller without the formality of inspection, while _northanger abbey_ was lying _perdu_ in another bookseller's drawer at bath. in these circumstances it is intelligible that she should turn to _sense and sensibility_, when, at length--upon the occasion of a visit to her brother in london in the spring of 1811--mr. t. egerton of the 'military library,' whitehall, dawned upon the horizon as a practicable publisher. by the time _sense and sensibility_ left the press, miss austen was again domiciled at chawton cottage. for those accustomed to the swarming reviews of our day, with their babel of notices, it may seem strange that there should be no record of the effect produced, seeing that, as already stated, the book sold well enough to enable its putter-forth to hand over to its author what mr. gargery, in _great expectations_, would have described as 'a cool £150.' surely mr. egerton, who had visited miss austen at sloane street, must have later conveyed to her some intelligence of the way in which her work had been welcomed by the public. but if he did, it is no longer discoverable. mr. austen leigh, her first and best biographer, could find no account either of the publication or of the author's feelings thereupon. as far as it is possible to judge, the critical verdicts she obtained were mainly derived from her own relatives and intimate friends, and some of these latter--if one may trust a little anthology which she herself collected, and from which mr. austen leigh prints extracts--must have been more often exasperating than sympathetic. the long chorus of intelligent approval by which she was afterwards greeted did not begin to be really audible before her death, and her 'fit audience' during her lifetime must have been emphatically 'few,' of two criticisms which came out in the _quarterly_ early in the century, she could only have seen one, that of 1815; the other, by archbishop whately, the first which treated her in earnest, did not appear until she had been three years dead. dr. whately deals mainly with _mansfield park_ and _persuasion_; his predecessor professed to review _emma_, though he also gives brief summaries of _sense and sensibility_ and _pride and prejudice_. mr. austen leigh, we think, speaks too contemptuously of this initial notice of 1815. if, at certain points, it is half-hearted and inadequate, it is still fairly accurate in its recognition of miss austen's supreme merit, as contrasted with her contemporaries--to wit, her skill in investing the fortunes of ordinary characters and the narrative of common occurrences with all the sustained excitement of romance. the reviewer points out very justly that this kind of work, 'being deprived of all that, according to bayes, goes "to elevate and surprise," must make amends by displaying depth of knowledge and dexterity of execution.' and in these qualities, even with such living competitors of her own sex as miss edgeworth and miss brunton (whose _self-control_ came out in the same year as _sense and sensibility_), he does not scruple to declare that 'miss austen stands almost alone.' if he omits to lay stress upon her judgment, her nice sense of fitness, her restraint, her fine irony, and the delicacy of her artistic touch, something must be allowed for the hesitations and reservations which invariably beset the critical pioneer. to contend, however, for a moment that the present volume is miss austen's greatest, as it was her first published, novel, would be a mere exercise in paradox. there are, who swear by _persuasion_; there are, who prefer _emma_ and _mansfield park_; there is a large contingent for _pride and prejudice_; and there is even a section which advocates the pre-eminence of _northanger abbey_. but no one, as far as we can remember, has ever put _sense and sensibility_ first, nor can we believe that its author did so herself. and yet it is she herself who has furnished the standard by which we judge it, and it is by comparison with _pride and prejudice_, in which the leading characters are also two sisters, that we assess and depress its merit. the elinor and marianne of _sense and sensibility_ are only inferior when they are contrasted with the elizabeth and jane of _pride and prejudice_; and even then, it is probably because we personally like the handsome and amiable jane bennet rather better than the obsolete survival of the sentimental novel represented by marianne dashwood. darcy and bingley again are much more 'likeable' (to use lady queensberry's word) than the colourless edward ferrars and the stiff-jointed colonel brandon. yet it might not unfairly be contended that there is more fidelity to what mr. thomas hardy has termed 'life's little ironies' in miss austen's disposal of the two miss dashwoods than there is in her disposal of the heroines of _pride and prejudice_. every one does not get a bingley, or a darcy (with a park); but a good many sensible girls like elinor pair off contentedly with poor creatures like edward ferrars, while not a few enthusiasts like marianne decline at last upon middle-aged colonels with flannel waistcoats. george eliot, we fancy, would have held that the fates of elinor and marianne were more probable than the fortunes of jane and eliza bennet. that, of the remaining characters, there is certainly none to rival mr. bennet, or lady catherine de bourgh, or the ineffable mr. collins, of _pride and prejudice_, is true; but we confess to a kindness for vulgar matchmaking mrs. jennings with her still-room 'parmaceti for an inward bruise' in the shape of a glass of old constantia; and for the diluted squire western, sir john middleton, whose horror of being alone carries him to the point of rejoicing in the acquisition of _two_ to the population of london. excellent again are mr. palmer and his wife; excellent, in their sordid veracity, the self-seeking figures of the miss steeles. but the pearls of the book must be allowed to be that egregious amateur in toothpick-cases, mr. robert ferrars (with his excursus in chapter xxxvi. on life in a cottage), and the admirably-matched mr. and mrs. john dashwood. miss austen herself has never done anything better than the inimitable and oft-quoted chapter wherein is debated between the last-named pair the momentous matter of the amount to be devoted to mrs. dashwood and her daughters; while the suggestion in chapters xxxiii. and xxxiv. that the owner of norland was once within some thousands of having to sell out at a loss, deserves to be remembered with that other memorable escape of sir roger de coverley's ancestor, who was only not killed in the civil wars because 'he was sent out of the field upon a private message, the day before the battle of worcester.' of local colouring there is as little in _sense and sensibility_ as in _pride and prejudice_. it is not unlikely that some memories of steventon may survive in norland; and it may be noted that there is actually a barton place to the north of exeter, not far from lord iddesleigh's well-known seat of upton pynes. it is scarcely possible, also, not to believe that, in mrs. jennings's description of delaford--'a nice place, i can tell you; exactly what i call a nice old-fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner!'--miss austen had in mind some real hampshire or devonshire country house. in any case, it comes nearer a picture than what we usually get from her pen. 'then there is a dovecote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and everything, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so 'tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along.' the last lines suggest those quaint 'gazebos' and alcoves, which, in the coaching days, were so often to be found perched at the roadside, where one might sit and watch the dover or canterbury stage go whirling by. of genteel accomplishments there is a touch in the 'landscape in coloured silks' which charlotte palmer had worked at school (chap, xxvi.); and of old remedies for the lost art of swooning, in the 'lavender drops' of chapter xxix. the mention of a dance as a 'little hop' in chapter ix. reads like a premature instance of middle victorian slang. but nothing is new--even in a novel--and 'hop,' in this sense, is at least as old as _joseph andrews_. * * * * * list of illustrations mr. dashwood introduced him _frontispiece_ his son's son, a child of four years old "i cannot imagine how they will spend half of it" so shy before company they sang together he cut off a long lock of her hair "i have found you out in spite of all your tricks" apparently in violent affliction begging her to stop came to take a survey of the guest "i declare they are quite charming" mischievous tricks drinking to her best affections amiably bashful "i can answer for it," said mrs. jennings at that moment she first perceived him "how fond he was of it!" offered him one of folly's puppies a very smart beau introduced to mrs. jennings mrs. jennings assured him directly that she should not stand upon ceremony mrs. ferrars drawing him a little aside in a whisper "you have heard, i suppose" talking over the business "she put in the feather last night" listening at the door both gained considerable amusement "of one thing i may assure you" showing her child to the housekeeper the gardener's lamentations opened a window-shutter "i entreat you to stay" "i was formally dismissed" "i have entered many a shop to avoid your sight" "and see how the children go on" "i suppose you know, ma'am, that mr. ferrars is married" it _was_ edward "everything in such respectable condition" * * * * * chapter i the family of dashwood had long been settled in sussex. their estate was large, and their residence was at norland park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance. the late owner of this estate was a single man, who lived to a very advanced age, and who for many years of his life, had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister. but her death, which happened ten years before his own, produced a great alteration in his home; for to supply her loss, he invited and received into his house the family of his nephew mr. henry dashwood, the legal inheritor of the norland estate, and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it. in the society of his nephew and niece, and their children, the old gentleman's days were comfortably spent. his attachment to them all increased. the constant attention of mr. and mrs. henry dashwood to his wishes, which proceeded not merely from interest, but from goodness of heart, gave him every degree of solid comfort which his age could receive; and the cheerfulness of the children added a relish to his existence. by a former marriage, mr. henry dashwood had one son: by his present lady, three daughters. the son, a steady respectable young man, was amply provided for by the fortune of his mother, which had been large, and half of which devolved on him on his coming of age. by his own marriage, likewise, which happened soon afterwards, he added to his wealth. to him therefore the succession to the norland estate was not so really important as to his sisters; for their fortune, independent of what might arise to them from their father's inheriting that property, could be but small. their mother had nothing, and their father only seven thousand pounds in his own disposal; for the remaining moiety of his first wife's fortune was also secured to her child, and he had only a life-interest in it. the old gentleman died: his will was read, and like almost every other will, gave as much disappointment as pleasure. he was neither so unjust, nor so ungrateful, as to leave his estate from his nephew; but he left it to him on such terms as destroyed half the value of the bequest. mr. dashwood had wished for it more for the sake of his wife and daughters than for himself or his son; but to his son, and his son's son, a child of four years old, it was secured, in such a way, as to leave to himself no power of providing for those who were most dear to him, and who most needed a provision by any charge on the estate, or by any sale of its valuable woods. the whole was tied up for the benefit of this child, who, in occasional visits with his father and mother at norland, had so far gained on the affections of his uncle, by such attractions as are by no means unusual in children of two or three years old; an imperfect articulation, an earnest desire of having his own way, many cunning tricks, and a great deal of noise, as to outweigh all the value of all the attention which, for years, he had received from his niece and her daughters. he meant not to be unkind, however, and, as a mark of his affection for the three girls, he left them a thousand pounds a-piece. mr. dashwood's disappointment was, at first, severe; but his temper was cheerful and sanguine; and he might reasonably hope to live many years, and by living economically, lay by a considerable sum from the produce of an estate already large, and capable of almost immediate improvement. but the fortune, which had been so tardy in coming, was his only one twelvemonth. he survived his uncle no longer; and ten thousand pounds, including the late legacies, was all that remained for his widow and daughters. his son was sent for as soon as his danger was known, and to him mr. dashwood recommended, with all the strength and urgency which illness could command, the interest of his mother-in-law and sisters. mr. john dashwood had not the strong feelings of the rest of the family; but he was affected by a recommendation of such a nature at such a time, and he promised to do every thing in his power to make them comfortable. his father was rendered easy by such an assurance, and mr. john dashwood had then leisure to consider how much there might prudently be in his power to do for them. [illustration: _his son's son, a child of four years old._] he was not an ill-disposed young man, unless to be rather cold hearted and rather selfish is to be ill-disposed: but he was, in general, well respected; for he conducted himself with propriety in the discharge of his ordinary duties. had he married a more amiable woman, he might have been made still more respectable than he was: he might even have been made amiable himself; for he was very young when he married, and very fond of his wife. but mrs. john dashwood was a strong caricature of himself; more narrow-minded and selfish. when he gave his promise to his father, he meditated within himself to increase the fortunes of his sisters by the present of a thousand pounds a-piece. he then really thought himself equal to it. the prospect of four thousand a-year, in addition to his present income, besides the remaining half of his own mother's fortune, warmed his heart, and made him feel capable of generosity. "yes, he would give them three thousand pounds: it would be liberal and handsome! it would be enough to make them completely easy. three thousand pounds! he could spare so considerable a sum with little inconvenience." he thought of it all day long, and for many days successively, and he did not repent. no sooner was his father's funeral over, than mrs. john dashwood, without sending any notice of her intention to her mother-in-law, arrived with her child and their attendants. no one could dispute her right to come; the house was her husband's from the moment of his father's decease; but the indelicacy of her conduct was so much the greater, and to a woman in mrs. dashwood's situation, with only common feelings, must have been highly unpleasing. but in _her_ mind there was a sense of honor so keen, a generosity so romantic, that any offence of the kind, by whomsoever given or received, was to her a source of immovable disgust. mrs. john dashwood had never been a favourite with any of her husband's family; but she had had no opportunity, till the present, of showing them with how little attention to the comfort of other people she could act when occasion required it. so acutely did mrs. dashwood feel this ungracious behaviour, and so earnestly did she despise her daughter-in-law for it, that, on the arrival of the latter, she would have quitted the house for ever, had not the entreaty of her eldest girl induced her first to reflect on the propriety of going, and her own tender love for all her three children determined her afterwards to stay, and for their sakes avoid a breach with their brother. elinor, this eldest daughter, whose advice was so effectual, possessed a strength of understanding, and coolness of judgment, which qualified her, though only nineteen, to be the counsellor of her mother, and enabled her frequently to counteract, to the advantage of them all, that eagerness of mind in mrs. dashwood which must generally have led to imprudence. she had an excellent heart; her disposition was affectionate, and her feelings were strong; but she knew how to govern them: it was a knowledge which her mother had yet to learn; and which one of her sisters had resolved never to be taught. marianne's abilities were, in many respects, quite equal to elinor's. she was sensible and clever; but eager in everything: her sorrows, her joys, could have no moderation. she was generous, amiable, interesting: she was everything but prudent. the resemblance between her and her mother was strikingly great. elinor saw, with concern, the excess of her sister's sensibility; but by mrs. dashwood it was valued and cherished. they encouraged each other now in the violence of their affliction. the agony of grief which overpowered them at first, was voluntarily renewed, was sought for, was created again and again. they gave themselves up wholly to their sorrow, seeking increase of wretchedness in every reflection that could afford it, and resolved against ever admitting consolation in future. elinor, too, was deeply afflicted; but still she could struggle, she could exert herself. she could consult with her brother, could receive her sister-in-law on her arrival, and treat her with proper attention; and could strive to rouse her mother to similar exertion, and encourage her to similar forbearance. margaret, the other sister, was a good-humored, well-disposed girl; but as she had already imbibed a good deal of marianne's romance, without having much of her sense, she did not, at thirteen, bid fair to equal her sisters at a more advanced period of life. chapter ii mrs. john dashwood now installed herself mistress of norland; and her mother and sisters-in-law were degraded to the condition of visitors. as such, however, they were treated by her with quiet civility; and by her husband with as much kindness as he could feel towards anybody beyond himself, his wife, and their child. he really pressed them, with some earnestness, to consider norland as their home; and, as no plan appeared so eligible to mrs. dashwood as remaining there till she could accommodate herself with a house in the neighbourhood, his invitation was accepted. a continuance in a place where everything reminded her of former delight, was exactly what suited her mind. in seasons of cheerfulness, no temper could be more cheerful than hers, or possess, in a greater degree, that sanguine expectation of happiness which is happiness itself. but in sorrow she must be equally carried away by her fancy, and as far beyond consolation as in pleasure she was beyond alloy. mrs. john dashwood did not at all approve of what her husband intended to do for his sisters. to take three thousand pounds from the fortune of their dear little boy would be impoverishing him to the most dreadful degree. she begged him to think again on the subject. how could he answer it to himself to rob his child, and his only child too, of so large a sum? and what possible claim could the miss dashwoods, who were related to him only by half blood, which she considered as no relationship at all, have on his generosity to so large an amount. it was very well known that no affection was ever supposed to exist between the children of any man by different marriages; and why was he to ruin himself, and their poor little harry, by giving away all his money to his half sisters? "it was my father's last request to me," replied her husband, "that i should assist his widow and daughters." "he did not know what he was talking of, i dare say; ten to one but he was light-headed at the time. had he been in his right senses, he could not have thought of such a thing as begging you to give away half your fortune from your own child." "he did not stipulate for any particular sum, my dear fanny; he only requested me, in general terms, to assist them, and make their situation more comfortable than it was in his power to do. perhaps it would have been as well if he had left it wholly to myself. he could hardly suppose i should neglect them. but as he required the promise, i could not do less than give it; at least i thought so at the time. the promise, therefore, was given, and must be performed. something must be done for them whenever they leave norland and settle in a new home." "well, then, _let_ something be done for them; but _that_ something need not be three thousand pounds. consider," she added, "that when the money is once parted with, it never can return. your sisters will marry, and it will be gone for ever. if, indeed, it could be restored to our poor little boy--" "why, to be sure," said her husband, very gravely, "that would make great difference. the time may come when harry will regret that so large a sum was parted with. if he should have a numerous family, for instance, it would be a very convenient addition." "to be sure it would." "perhaps, then, it would be better for all parties, if the sum were diminished one half. five hundred pounds would be a prodigious increase to their fortunes!" "oh! beyond anything great! what brother on earth would do half so much for his sisters, even if _really_ his sisters! and as it is--only half blood! but you have such a generous spirit!" "i would not wish to do any thing mean," he replied. "one had rather, on such occasions, do too much than too little. no one, at least, can think i have not done enough for them: even themselves, they can hardly expect more." "there is no knowing what _they_ may expect," said the lady, "but we are not to think of their expectations: the question is, what you can afford to do." "certainly; and i think i may afford to give them five hundred pounds a-piece. as it is, without any addition of mine, they will each have about three thousand pounds on their mother's death--a very comfortable fortune for any young woman." "to be sure it is; and, indeed, it strikes me that they can want no addition at all. they will have ten thousand pounds divided amongst them. if they marry, they will be sure of doing well, and if they do not, they may all live very comfortably together on the interest of ten thousand pounds." "that is very true, and, therefore, i do not know whether, upon the whole, it would not be more advisable to do something for their mother while she lives, rather than for them--something of the annuity kind i mean. my sisters would feel the good effects of it as well as herself. a hundred a year would make them all perfectly comfortable." his wife hesitated a little, however, in giving her consent to this plan. "to be sure," said she, "it is better than parting with fifteen hundred pounds at once. but, then, if mrs. dashwood should live fifteen years we shall be completely taken in." "fifteen years! my dear fanny; her life cannot be worth half that purchase." "certainly not; but if you observe, people always live for ever when there is an annuity to be paid them; and she is very stout and healthy, and hardly forty. an annuity is a very serious business; it comes over and over every year, and there is no getting rid of it. you are not aware of what you are doing. i have known a great deal of the trouble of annuities; for my mother was clogged with the payment of three to old superannuated servants by my father's will, and it is amazing how disagreeable she found it. twice every year these annuities were to be paid; and then there was the trouble of getting it to them; and then one of them was said to have died, and afterwards it turned out to be no such thing. my mother was quite sick of it. her income was not her own, she said, with such perpetual claims on it; and it was the more unkind in my father, because, otherwise, the money would have been entirely at my mother's disposal, without any restriction whatever. it has given me such an abhorrence of annuities, that i am sure i would not pin myself down to the payment of one for all the world." "it is certainly an unpleasant thing," replied mr. dashwood, "to have those kind of yearly drains on one's income. one's fortune, as your mother justly says, is _not_ one's own. to be tied down to the regular payment of such a sum, on every rent day, is by no means desirable: it takes away one's independence." "undoubtedly; and after all you have no thanks for it. they think themselves secure, you do no more than what is expected, and it raises no gratitude at all. if i were you, whatever i did should be done at my own discretion entirely. i would not bind myself to allow them any thing yearly. it may be very inconvenient some years to spare a hundred, or even fifty pounds from our own expenses." "i believe you are right, my love; it will be better that there should be no annuity in the case; whatever i may give them occasionally will be of far greater assistance than a yearly allowance, because they would only enlarge their style of living if they felt sure of a larger income, and would not be sixpence the richer for it at the end of the year. it will certainly be much the best way. a present of fifty pounds, now and then, will prevent their ever being distressed for money, and will, i think, be amply discharging my promise to my father." "to be sure it will. indeed, to say the truth, i am convinced within myself that your father had no idea of your giving them any money at all. the assistance he thought of, i dare say, was only such as might be reasonably expected of you; for instance, such as looking out for a comfortable small house for them, helping them to move their things, and sending them presents of fish and game, and so forth, whenever they are in season. i'll lay my life that he meant nothing farther; indeed, it would be very strange and unreasonable if he did. do but consider, my dear mr. dashwood, how excessively comfortable your mother-in-law and her daughters may live on the interest of seven thousand pounds, besides the thousand pounds belonging to each of the girls, which brings them in fifty pounds a year a-piece, and, of course, they will pay their mother for their board out of it. altogether, they will have five hundred a-year amongst them, and what on earth can four women want for more than that?--they will live so cheap! their housekeeping will be nothing at all. they will have no carriage, no horses, and hardly any servants; they will keep no company, and can have no expenses of any kind! only conceive how comfortable they will be! five hundred a year! i am sure i cannot imagine how they will spend half of it; and as to your giving them more, it is quite absurd to think of it. they will be much more able to give _you_ something." "upon my word," said mr. dashwood, "i believe you are perfectly right. my father certainly could mean nothing more by his request to me than what you say. i clearly understand it now, and i will strictly fulfil my engagement by such acts of assistance and kindness to them as you have described. when my mother removes into another house my services shall be readily given to accommodate her as far as i can. some little present of furniture too may be acceptable then." "certainly," returned mrs. john dashwood. "but, however, _one_ thing must be considered. when your father and mother moved to norland, though the furniture of stanhill was sold, all the china, plate, and linen was saved, and is now left to your mother. her house will therefore be almost completely fitted up as soon as she takes it." "that is a material consideration undoubtedly. a valuable legacy indeed! and yet some of the plate would have been a very pleasant addition to our own stock here." "yes; and the set of breakfast china is twice as handsome as what belongs to this house. a great deal too handsome, in my opinion, for any place _they_ can ever afford to live in. but, however, so it is. your father thought only of _them_ and i must say this: that you owe no particular gratitude to him, nor attention to his wishes; for we very well know that if he could, he would have left almost everything in the world to _them._" this argument was irresistible. it gave to his intentions whatever of decision was wanting before; and he finally resolved, that it would be absolutely unnecessary, if not highly indecorous, to do more for the widow and children of his father, than such kind of neighbourly acts as his own wife pointed out. chapter iii mrs. dashwood remained at norland several months; not from any disinclination to move when the sight of every well known spot ceased to raise the violent emotion which it produced for a while; for when her spirits began to revive, and her mind became capable of some other exertion than that of heightening its affliction by melancholy remembrances, she was impatient to be gone, and indefatigable in her inquiries for a suitable dwelling in the neighbourhood of norland; for to remove far from that beloved spot was impossible. but she could hear of no situation that at once answered her notions of comfort and ease, and suited the prudence of her eldest daughter, whose steadier judgment rejected several houses as too large for their income, which her mother would have approved. [illustration: "_i cannot imagine how they will spend half of it._"] mrs. dashwood had been informed by her husband of the solemn promise on the part of his son in their favour, which gave comfort to his last earthly reflections. she doubted the sincerity of this assurance no more than he had doubted it himself, and she thought of it for her daughters' sake with satisfaction, though as for herself she was persuaded that a much smaller provision than 7000l would support her in affluence. for their brother's sake, too, for the sake of his own heart, she rejoiced; and she reproached herself for being unjust to his merit before, in believing him incapable of generosity. his attentive behaviour to herself and his sisters convinced her that their welfare was dear to him, and, for a long time, she firmly relied on the liberality of his intentions. the contempt which she had, very early in their acquaintance, felt for her daughter-in-law, was very much increased by the farther knowledge of her character, which half a year's residence in her family afforded; and perhaps in spite of every consideration of politeness or maternal affection on the side of the former, the two ladies might have found it impossible to have lived together so long, had not a particular circumstance occurred to give still greater eligibility, according to the opinions of mrs. dashwood, to her daughters' continuance at norland. this circumstance was a growing attachment between her eldest girl and the brother of mrs. john dashwood, a gentlemanlike and pleasing young man, who was introduced to their acquaintance soon after his sister's establishment at norland, and who had since spent the greatest part of his time there. some mothers might have encouraged the intimacy from motives of interest, for edward ferrars was the eldest son of a man who had died very rich; and some might have repressed it from motives of prudence, for, except a trifling sum, the whole of his fortune depended on the will of his mother. but mrs. dashwood was alike uninfluenced by either consideration. it was enough for her that he appeared to be amiable, that he loved her daughter, and that elinor returned the partiality. it was contrary to every doctrine of her's that difference of fortune should keep any couple asunder who were attracted by resemblance of disposition; and that elinor's merit should not be acknowledged by every one who knew her, was to her comprehension impossible. edward ferrars was not recommended to their good opinion by any peculiar graces of person or address. he was not handsome, and his manners required intimacy to make them pleasing. he was too diffident to do justice to himself; but when his natural shyness was overcome, his behaviour gave every indication of an open, affectionate heart. his understanding was good, and his education had given it solid improvement. but he was neither fitted by abilities nor disposition to answer the wishes of his mother and sister, who longed to see him distinguished as--they hardly knew what. they wanted him to make a fine figure in the world in some manner or other. his mother wished to interest him in political concerns, to get him into parliament, or to see him connected with some of the great men of the day. mrs. john dashwood wished it likewise; but in the mean while, till one of these superior blessings could be attained, it would have quieted her ambition to see him driving a barouche. but edward had no turn for great men or barouches. all his wishes centered in domestic comfort and the quiet of private life. fortunately he had a younger brother who was more promising. edward had been staying several weeks in the house before he engaged much of mrs. dashwood's attention; for she was, at that time, in such affliction as rendered her careless of surrounding objects. she saw only that he was quiet and unobtrusive, and she liked him for it. he did not disturb the wretchedness of her mind by ill-timed conversation. she was first called to observe and approve him farther, by a reflection which elinor chanced one day to make on the difference between him and his sister. it was a contrast which recommended him most forcibly to her mother. "it is enough," said she; "to say that he is unlike fanny is enough. it implies everything amiable. i love him already." "i think you will like him," said elinor, "when you know more of him." "like him!" replied her mother with a smile. "i feel no sentiment of approbation inferior to love." "you may esteem him." "i have never yet known what it was to separate esteem and love." mrs. dashwood now took pains to get acquainted with him. her manners were attaching, and soon banished his reserve. she speedily comprehended all his merits; the persuasion of his regard for elinor perhaps assisted her penetration; but she really felt assured of his worth: and even that quietness of manner, which militated against all her established ideas of what a young man's address ought to be, was no longer uninteresting when she knew his heart to be warm and his temper affectionate. no sooner did she perceive any symptom of love in his behaviour to elinor, than she considered their serious attachment as certain, and looked forward to their marriage as rapidly approaching. "in a few months, my dear marianne," said she, "elinor will, in all probability be settled for life. we shall miss her; but _she_ will be happy." "oh! mamma, how shall we do without her?" "my love, it will be scarcely a separation. we shall live within a few miles of each other, and shall meet every day of our lives. you will gain a brother--a real, affectionate brother. i have the highest opinion in the world of edward's heart. but you look grave, marianne; do you disapprove your sister's choice?" "perhaps," said marianne, "i may consider it with some surprise. edward is very amiable, and i love him tenderly. but yet--he is not the kind of young man; there is something wanting--his figure is not striking; it has none of that grace which i should expect in the man who could seriously attach my sister. his eyes want all that spirit, that fire, which at once announce virtue and intelligence. and besides all this, i am afraid, mamma, he has no real taste. music seems scarcely to attract him, and though he admires elinor's drawings very much, it is not the admiration of a person who can understand their worth. it is evident, in spite of his frequent attention to her while she draws, that in fact he knows nothing of the matter. he admires as a lover, not as a connoisseur. to satisfy me, those characters must be united. i could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own. he must enter into all my feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both. oh! mama, how spiritless, how tame was edward's manner in reading to us last night! i felt for my sister most severely. yet she bore it with so much composure, she seemed scarcely to notice it. i could hardly keep my seat. to hear those beautiful lines which have frequently almost driven me wild, pronounced with such impenetrable calmness, such dreadful indifference!" "he would certainly have done more justice to simple and elegant prose. i thought so at the time; but you _would_ give him cowper." "nay, mamma, if he is not to be animated by cowper!--but we must allow for difference of taste. elinor has not my feelings, and therefore she may overlook it, and be happy with him. but it would have broke _my_ heart, had i loved him, to hear him read with so little sensibility. mama, the more i know of the world, the more am i convinced that i shall never see a man whom i can really love. i require so much! he must have all edward's virtues, and his person and manners must ornament his goodness with every possible charm." "remember, my love, that you are not seventeen. it is yet too early in life to despair of such a happiness. why should you be less fortunate than your mother? in one circumstance only, my marianne, may your destiny be different from her's!" chapter iv "what a pity it is, elinor," said marianne, "that edward should have no taste for drawing." "no taste for drawing!" replied elinor, "why should you think so? he does not draw himself, indeed, but he has great pleasure in seeing the performances of other people, and i assure you he is by no means deficient in natural taste, though he has not had opportunities of improving it. had he ever been in the way of learning, i think he would have drawn very well. he distrusts his own judgment in such matters so much, that he is always unwilling to give his opinion on any picture; but he has an innate propriety and simplicity of taste, which in general direct him perfectly right." marianne was afraid of offending, and said no more on the subject; but the kind of approbation which elinor described as excited in him by the drawings of other people, was very far from that rapturous delight, which, in her opinion, could alone be called taste. yet, though smiling within herself at the mistake, she honoured her sister for that blind partiality to edward which produced it. "i hope, marianne," continued elinor, "you do not consider him as deficient in general taste. indeed, i think i may say that you cannot, for your behaviour to him is perfectly cordial, and if _that_ were your opinion, i am sure you could never be civil to him." marianne hardly knew what to say. she would not wound the feelings of her sister on any account, and yet to say what she did not believe was impossible. at length she replied: "do not be offended, elinor, if my praise of him is not in every thing equal to your sense of his merits. i have not had so many opportunities of estimating the minuter propensities of his mind, his inclinations and tastes, as you have; but i have the highest opinion in the world of his goodness and sense. i think him every thing that is worthy and amiable." "i am sure," replied elinor, with a smile, "that his dearest friends could not be dissatisfied with such commendation as that. i do not perceive how you could express yourself more warmly." marianne was rejoiced to find her sister so easily pleased. "of his sense and his goodness," continued elinor, "no one can, i think, be in doubt, who has seen him often enough to engage him in unreserved conversation. the excellence of his understanding and his principles can be concealed only by that shyness which too often keeps him silent. you know enough of him to do justice to his solid worth. but of his minuter propensities, as you call them you have from peculiar circumstances been kept more ignorant than myself. he and i have been at times thrown a good deal together, while you have been wholly engrossed on the most affectionate principle by my mother. i have seen a great deal of him, have studied his sentiments and heard his opinion on subjects of literature and taste; and, upon the whole, i venture to pronounce that his mind is well-informed, enjoyment of books exceedingly great, his imagination lively, his observation just and correct, and his taste delicate and pure. his abilities in every respect improve as much upon acquaintance as his manners and person. at first sight, his address is certainly not striking; and his person can hardly be called handsome, till the expression of his eyes, which are uncommonly good, and the general sweetness of his countenance, is perceived. at present, i know him so well, that i think him really handsome; or at least, almost so. what say you, marianne?" "i shall very soon think him handsome, elinor, if i do not now. when you tell me to love him as a brother, i shall no more see imperfection in his face, than i now do in his heart." elinor started at this declaration, and was sorry for the warmth she had been betrayed into, in speaking of him. she felt that edward stood very high in her opinion. she believed the regard to be mutual; but she required greater certainty of it to make marianne's conviction of their attachment agreeable to her. she knew that what marianne and her mother conjectured one moment, they believed the next--that with them, to wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect. she tried to explain the real state of the case to her sister. "i do not attempt to deny," said she, "that i think very highly of him--that i greatly esteem, that i like him." marianne here burst forth with indignation-"esteem him! like him! cold-hearted elinor! oh! worse than cold-hearted! ashamed of being otherwise. use those words again, and i will leave the room this moment." elinor could not help laughing. "excuse me," said she; "and be assured that i meant no offence to you, by speaking, in so quiet a way, of my own feelings. believe them to be stronger than i have declared; believe them, in short, to be such as his merit, and the suspicion--the hope--of his affection for me may warrant, without imprudence or folly. but farther than this you must not believe. i am by no means assured of his regard for me. there are moments when the extent of it seems doubtful; and till his sentiments are fully known, you cannot wonder at my wishing to avoid any encouragement of my own partiality, by believing or calling it more than it is. in my heart i feel little--scarcely any doubt of his preference. but there are other points to be considered besides his inclination. he is very far from being independent. what his mother really is we cannot know; but, from fanny's occasional mention of her conduct and opinions, we have never been disposed to think her amiable; and i am very much mistaken if edward is not himself aware that there would be many difficulties in his way, if he were to wish to marry a woman who had not either a great fortune or high rank." marianne was astonished to find how much the imagination of her mother and herself had outstripped the truth. "and you really are not engaged to him!" said she. "yet it certainly soon will happen. but two advantages will proceed from this delay. i shall not lose you so soon, and edward will have greater opportunity of improving that natural taste for your favourite pursuit which must be so indispensably necessary to your future felicity. oh! if he should be so far stimulated by your genius as to learn to draw himself, how delightful it would be!" elinor had given her real opinion to her sister. she could not consider her partiality for edward in so prosperous a state as marianne had believed it. there was, at times, a want of spirits about him which, if it did not denote indifference, spoke of something almost as unpromising. a doubt of her regard, supposing him to feel it, need not give him more than inquietude. it would not be likely to produce that dejection of mind which frequently attended him. a more reasonable cause might be found in the dependent situation which forbade the indulgence of his affection. she knew that his mother neither behaved to him so as to make his home comfortable at present, nor to give him any assurance that he might form a home for himself, without strictly attending to her views for his aggrandizement. with such a knowledge as this, it was impossible for elinor to feel easy on the subject. she was far from depending on that result of his preference of her, which her mother and sister still considered as certain. nay, the longer they were together the more doubtful seemed the nature of his regard; and sometimes, for a few painful minutes, she believed it to be no more than friendship. but, whatever might really be its limits, it was enough, when perceived by his sister, to make her uneasy, and at the same time, (which was still more common,) to make her uncivil. she took the first opportunity of affronting her mother-in-law on the occasion, talking to her so expressively of her brother's great expectations, of mrs. ferrars's resolution that both her sons should marry well, and of the danger attending any young woman who attempted to _draw him in_, that mrs. dashwood could neither pretend to be unconscious, nor endeavor to be calm. she gave her an answer which marked her contempt, and instantly left the room, resolving that, whatever might be the inconvenience or expense of so sudden a removal, her beloved elinor should not be exposed another week to such insinuations. in this state of her spirits, a letter was delivered to her from the post, which contained a proposal particularly well timed. it was the offer of a small house, on very easy terms, belonging to a relation of her own, a gentleman of consequence and property in devonshire. the letter was from this gentleman himself, and written in the true spirit of friendly accommodation. he understood that she was in need of a dwelling; and though the house he now offered her was merely a cottage, he assured her that everything should be done to it which she might think necessary, if the situation pleased her. he earnestly pressed her, after giving the particulars of the house and garden, to come with her daughters to barton park, the place of his own residence, from whence she might judge, herself, whether barton cottage, for the houses were in the same parish, could, by any alteration, be made comfortable to her. he seemed really anxious to accommodate them and the whole of his letter was written in so friendly a style as could not fail of giving pleasure to his cousin; more especially at a moment when she was suffering under the cold and unfeeling behaviour of her nearer connections. she needed no time for deliberation or inquiry. her resolution was formed as she read. the situation of barton, in a county so far distant from sussex as devonshire, which, but a few hours before, would have been a sufficient objection to outweigh every possible advantage belonging to the place, was now its first recommendation. to quit the neighbourhood of norland was no longer an evil; it was an object of desire; it was a blessing, in comparison of the misery of continuing her daughter-in-law's guest; and to remove for ever from that beloved place would be less painful than to inhabit or visit it while such a woman was its mistress. she instantly wrote sir john middleton her acknowledgment of his kindness, and her acceptance of his proposal; and then hastened to show both letters to her daughters, that she might be secure of their approbation before her answer were sent. elinor had always thought it would be more prudent for them to settle at some distance from norland, than immediately amongst their present acquaintance. on _that_ head, therefore, it was not for her to oppose her mother's intention of removing into devonshire. the house, too, as described by sir john, was on so simple a scale, and the rent so uncommonly moderate, as to leave her no right of objection on either point; and, therefore, though it was not a plan which brought any charm to her fancy, though it was a removal from the vicinity of norland beyond her wishes, she made no attempt to dissuade her mother from sending a letter of acquiescence. chapter v no sooner was her answer dispatched, than mrs. dashwood indulged herself in the pleasure of announcing to her son-in-law and his wife that she was provided with a house, and should incommode them no longer than till every thing were ready for her inhabiting it. they heard her with surprise. mrs. john dashwood said nothing; but her husband civilly hoped that she would not be settled far from norland. she had great satisfaction in replying that she was going into devonshire. edward turned hastily towards her, on hearing this, and, in a voice of surprise and concern, which required no explanation to her, repeated, "devonshire! are you, indeed, going there? so far from hence! and to what part of it?" she explained the situation. it was within four miles northward of exeter. "it is but a cottage," she continued, "but i hope to see many of my friends in it. a room or two can easily be added; and if my friends find no difficulty in travelling so far to see me, i am sure i will find none in accommodating them." she concluded with a very kind invitation to mr. and mrs. john dashwood to visit her at barton; and to edward she gave one with still greater affection. though her late conversation with her daughter-in-law had made her resolve on remaining at norland no longer than was unavoidable, it had not produced the smallest effect on her in that point to which it principally tended. to separate edward and elinor was as far from being her object as ever; and she wished to show mrs. john dashwood, by this pointed invitation to her brother, how totally she disregarded her disapprobation of the match. mr. john dashwood told his mother again and again how exceedingly sorry he was that she had taken a house at such a distance from norland as to prevent his being of any service to her in removing her furniture. he really felt conscientiously vexed on the occasion; for the very exertion to which he had limited the performance of his promise to his father was by this arrangement rendered impracticable. the furniture was all sent around by water. it chiefly consisted of household linen, plate, china, and books, with a handsome pianoforte of marianne's. mrs. john dashwood saw the packages depart with a sigh: she could not help feeling it hard that as mrs. dashwood's income would be so trifling in comparison with their own, she should have any handsome article of furniture. mrs. dashwood took the house for a twelvemonth; it was ready furnished, and she might have immediate possession. no difficulty arose on either side in the agreement; and she waited only for the disposal of her effects at norland, and to determine her future household, before she set off for the west; and this, as she was exceedingly rapid in the performance of everything that interested her, was soon done. the horses which were left her by her husband had been sold soon after his death, and an opportunity now offering of disposing of her carriage, she agreed to sell that likewise at the earnest advice of her eldest daughter. for the comfort of her children, had she consulted only her own wishes, she would have kept it; but the discretion of elinor prevailed. _her_ wisdom too limited the number of their servants to three; two maids and a man, with whom they were speedily provided from amongst those who had formed their establishment at norland. the man and one of the maids were sent off immediately into devonshire, to prepare the house for their mistress's arrival; for as lady middleton was entirely unknown to mrs. dashwood, she preferred going directly to the cottage to being a visitor at barton park; and she relied so undoubtingly on sir john's description of the house, as to feel no curiosity to examine it herself till she entered it as her own. her eagerness to be gone from norland was preserved from diminution by the evident satisfaction of her daughter-in-law in the prospect of her removal; a satisfaction which was but feebly attempted to be concealed under a cold invitation to her to defer her departure. now was the time when her son-in-law's promise to his father might with particular propriety be fulfilled. since he had neglected to do it on first coming to the estate, their quitting his house might be looked on as the most suitable period for its accomplishment. but mrs. dashwood began shortly to give over every hope of the kind, and to be convinced, from the general drift of his discourse, that his assistance extended no farther than their maintenance for six months at norland. he so frequently talked of the increasing expenses of housekeeping, and of the perpetual demands upon his purse, which a man of any consequence in the world was beyond calculation exposed to, that he seemed rather to stand in need of more money himself than to have any design of giving money away. in a very few weeks from the day which brought sir john middleton's first letter to norland, every thing was so far settled in their future abode as to enable mrs. dashwood and her daughters to begin their journey. many were the tears shed by them in their last adieus to a place so much beloved. "dear, dear norland!" said marianne, as she wandered alone before the house, on the last evening of their being there; "when shall i cease to regret you!--when learn to feel a home elsewhere! oh! happy house, could you know what i suffer in now viewing you from this spot, from whence perhaps i may view you no more! and you, ye well-known trees!--but you will continue the same. no leaf will decay because we are removed, nor any branch become motionless although we can observe you no longer! no; you will continue the same; unconscious of the pleasure or the regret you occasion, and insensible of any change in those who walk under your shade! but who will remain to enjoy you?" chapter vi the first part of their journey was performed in too melancholy a disposition to be otherwise than tedious and unpleasant. but as they drew towards the end of it, their interest in the appearance of a country which they were to inhabit overcame their dejection, and a view of barton valley as they entered it gave them cheerfulness. it was a pleasant fertile spot, well wooded, and rich in pasture. after winding along it for more than a mile, they reached their own house. a small green court was the whole of its demesne in front; and a neat wicket gate admitted them into it. as a house, barton cottage, though small, was comfortable and compact; but as a cottage it was defective, for the building was regular, the roof was tiled, the window shutters were not painted green, nor were the walls covered with honeysuckles. a narrow passage led directly through the house into the garden behind. on each side of the entrance was a sitting room, about sixteen feet square; and beyond them were the offices and the stairs. four bedrooms and two garrets formed the rest of the house. it had not been built many years and was in good repair. in comparison of norland, it was poor and small indeed!--but the tears which recollection called forth as they entered the house were soon dried away. they were cheered by the joy of the servants on their arrival, and each for the sake of the others resolved to appear happy. it was very early in september; the season was fine, and from first seeing the place under the advantage of good weather, they received an impression in its favour which was of material service in recommending it to their lasting approbation. the situation of the house was good. high hills rose immediately behind, and at no great distance on each side; some of which were open downs, the others cultivated and woody. the village of barton was chiefly on one of these hills, and formed a pleasant view from the cottage windows. the prospect in front was more extensive; it commanded the whole of the valley, and reached into the country beyond. the hills which surrounded the cottage terminated the valley in that direction; under another name, and in another course, it branched out again between two of the steepest of them. with the size and furniture of the house mrs. dashwood was upon the whole well satisfied; for though her former style of life rendered many additions to the latter indispensable, yet to add and improve was a delight to her; and she had at this time ready money enough to supply all that was wanted of greater elegance to the apartments. "as for the house itself, to be sure," said she, "it is too small for our family, but we will make ourselves tolerably comfortable for the present, as it is too late in the year for improvements. perhaps in the spring, if i have plenty of money, as i dare say i shall, we may think about building. these parlors are both too small for such parties of our friends as i hope to see often collected here; and i have some thoughts of throwing the passage into one of them with perhaps a part of the other, and so leave the remainder of that other for an entrance; this, with a new drawing room which may be easily added, and a bed-chamber and garret above, will make it a very snug little cottage. i could wish the stairs were handsome. but one must not expect every thing; though i suppose it would be no difficult matter to widen them. i shall see how much i am before-hand with the world in the spring, and we will plan our improvements accordingly." in the mean time, till all these alterations could be made from the savings of an income of five hundred a-year by a woman who never saved in her life, they were wise enough to be contented with the house as it was; and each of them was busy in arranging their particular concerns, and endeavoring, by placing around them books and other possessions, to form themselves a home. marianne's pianoforte was unpacked and properly disposed of; and elinor's drawings were affixed to the walls of their sitting room. in such employments as these they were interrupted soon after breakfast the next day by the entrance of their landlord, who called to welcome them to barton, and to offer them every accommodation from his own house and garden in which theirs might at present be deficient. sir john middleton was a good looking man about forty. he had formerly visited at stanhill, but it was too long for his young cousins to remember him. his countenance was thoroughly good-humoured; and his manners were as friendly as the style of his letter. their arrival seemed to afford him real satisfaction, and their comfort to be an object of real solicitude to him. he said much of his earnest desire of their living in the most sociable terms with his family, and pressed them so cordially to dine at barton park every day till they were better settled at home, that, though his entreaties were carried to a point of perseverance beyond civility, they could not give offence. his kindness was not confined to words; for within an hour after he left them, a large basket full of garden stuff and fruit arrived from the park, which was followed before the end of the day by a present of game. he insisted, moreover, on conveying all their letters to and from the post for them, and would not be denied the satisfaction of sending them his newspaper every day. lady middleton had sent a very civil message by him, denoting her intention of waiting on mrs. dashwood as soon as she could be assured that her visit would be no inconvenience; and as this message was answered by an invitation equally polite, her ladyship was introduced to them the next day. [illustration: _so shy before company._] they were, of course, very anxious to see a person on whom so much of their comfort at barton must depend; and the elegance of her appearance was favourable to their wishes. lady middleton was not more than six or seven and twenty; her face was handsome, her figure tall and striking, and her address graceful. her manners had all the elegance which her husband's wanted. but they would have been improved by some share of his frankness and warmth; and her visit was long enough to detract something from their first admiration, by showing that, though perfectly well-bred, she was reserved, cold, and had nothing to say for herself beyond the most common-place inquiry or remark. conversation however was not wanted, for sir john was very chatty, and lady middleton had taken the wise precaution of bringing with her their eldest child, a fine little boy about six years old, by which means there was one subject always to be recurred to by the ladies in case of extremity, for they had to enquire his name and age, admire his beauty, and ask him questions which his mother answered for him, while he hung about her and held down his head, to the great surprise of her ladyship, who wondered at his being so shy before company, as he could make noise enough at home. on every formal visit a child ought to be of the party, by way of provision for discourse. in the present case it took up ten minutes to determine whether the boy were most like his father or mother, and in what particular he resembled either, for of course every body differed, and every body was astonished at the opinion of the others. an opportunity was soon to be given to the dashwoods of debating on the rest of the children, as sir john would not leave the house without securing their promise of dining at the park the next day. chapter vii barton park was about half a mile from the cottage. the ladies had passed near it in their way along the valley, but it was screened from their view at home by the projection of a hill. the house was large and handsome; and the middletons lived in a style of equal hospitality and elegance. the former was for sir john's gratification, the latter for that of his lady. they were scarcely ever without some friends staying with them in the house, and they kept more company of every kind than any other family in the neighbourhood. it was necessary to the happiness of both; for however dissimilar in temper and outward behaviour, they strongly resembled each other in that total want of talent and taste which confined their employments, unconnected with such as society produced, within a very narrow compass. sir john was a sportsman, lady middleton a mother. he hunted and shot, and she humoured her children; and these were their only resources. lady middleton had the advantage of being able to spoil her children all the year round, while sir john's independent employments were in existence only half the time. continual engagements at home and abroad, however, supplied all the deficiencies of nature and education; supported the good spirits of sir john, and gave exercise to the good breeding of his wife. lady middleton piqued herself upon the elegance of her table, and of all her domestic arrangements; and from this kind of vanity was her greatest enjoyment in any of their parties. but sir john's satisfaction in society was much more real; he delighted in collecting about him more young people than his house would hold, and the noisier they were the better was he pleased. he was a blessing to all the juvenile part of the neighbourhood, for in summer he was for ever forming parties to eat cold ham and chicken out of doors, and in winter his private balls were numerous enough for any young lady who was not suffering under the insatiable appetite of fifteen. the arrival of a new family in the country was always a matter of joy to him, and in every point of view he was charmed with the inhabitants he had now procured for his cottage at barton. the miss dashwoods were young, pretty, and unaffected. it was enough to secure his good opinion; for to be unaffected was all that a pretty girl could want to make her mind as captivating as her person. the friendliness of his disposition made him happy in accommodating those, whose situation might be considered, in comparison with the past, as unfortunate. in showing kindness to his cousins therefore he had the real satisfaction of a good heart; and in settling a family of females only in his cottage, he had all the satisfaction of a sportsman; for a sportsman, though he esteems only those of his sex who are sportsmen likewise, is not often desirous of encouraging their taste by admitting them to a residence within his own manor. mrs. dashwood and her daughters were met at the door of the house by sir john, who welcomed them to barton park with unaffected sincerity; and as he attended them to the drawing room repeated to the young ladies the concern which the same subject had drawn from him the day before, at being unable to get any smart young men to meet them. they would see, he said, only one gentleman there besides himself; a particular friend who was staying at the park, but who was neither very young nor very gay. he hoped they would all excuse the smallness of the party, and could assure them it should never happen so again. he had been to several families that morning in hopes of procuring some addition to their number, but it was moonlight and every body was full of engagements. luckily lady middleton's mother had arrived at barton within the last hour, and as she was a very cheerful agreeable woman, he hoped the young ladies would not find it so very dull as they might imagine. the young ladies, as well as their mother, were perfectly satisfied with having two entire strangers of the party, and wished for no more. mrs. jennings, lady middleton's mother, was a good-humoured, merry, fat, elderly woman, who talked a great deal, seemed very happy, and rather vulgar. she was full of jokes and laughter, and before dinner was over had said many witty things on the subject of lovers and husbands; hoped they had not left their hearts behind them in sussex, and pretended to see them blush whether they did or not. marianne was vexed at it for her sister's sake, and turned her eyes towards elinor to see how she bore these attacks, with an earnestness which gave elinor far more pain than could arise from such common-place raillery as mrs. jennings's. colonel brandon, the friend of sir john, seemed no more adapted by resemblance of manner to be his friend, than lady middleton was to be his wife, or mrs. jennings to be lady middleton's mother. he was silent and grave. his appearance however was not unpleasing, in spite of his being in the opinion of marianne and margaret an absolute old bachelor, for he was on the wrong side of five and thirty; but though his face was not handsome, his countenance was sensible, and his address was particularly gentlemanlike. there was nothing in any of the party which could recommend them as companions to the dashwoods; but the cold insipidity of lady middleton was so particularly repulsive, that in comparison of it the gravity of colonel brandon, and even the boisterous mirth of sir john and his mother-in-law was interesting. lady middleton seemed to be roused to enjoyment only by the entrance of her four noisy children after dinner, who pulled her about, tore her clothes, and put an end to every kind of discourse except what related to themselves. in the evening, as marianne was discovered to be musical, she was invited to play. the instrument was unlocked, every body prepared to be charmed, and marianne, who sang very well, at their request went through the chief of the songs which lady middleton had brought into the family on her marriage, and which perhaps had lain ever since in the same position on the pianoforte, for her ladyship had celebrated that event by giving up music, although by her mother's account, she had played extremely well, and by her own was very fond of it. marianne's performance was highly applauded. sir john was loud in his admiration at the end of every song, and as loud in his conversation with the others while every song lasted. lady middleton frequently called him to order, wondered how any one's attention could be diverted from music for a moment, and asked marianne to sing a particular song which marianne had just finished. colonel brandon alone, of all the party, heard her without being in raptures. he paid her only the compliment of attention; and she felt a respect for him on the occasion, which the others had reasonably forfeited by their shameless want of taste. his pleasure in music, though it amounted not to that ecstatic delight which alone could sympathize with her own, was estimable when contrasted against the horrible insensibility of the others; and she was reasonable enough to allow that a man of five and thirty might well have outlived all acuteness of feeling and every exquisite power of enjoyment. she was perfectly disposed to make every allowance for the colonel's advanced state of life which humanity required. chapter viii mrs. jennings was a widow with an ample jointure. she had only two daughters, both of whom she had lived to see respectably married, and she had now therefore nothing to do but to marry all the rest of the world. in the promotion of this object she was zealously active, as far as her ability reached; and missed no opportunity of projecting weddings among all the young people of her acquaintance. she was remarkably quick in the discovery of attachments, and had enjoyed the advantage of raising the blushes and the vanity of many a young lady by insinuations of her power over such a young man; and this kind of discernment enabled her soon after her arrival at barton decisively to pronounce that colonel brandon was very much in love with marianne dashwood. she rather suspected it to be so, on the very first evening of their being together, from his listening so attentively while she sang to them; and when the visit was returned by the middletons' dining at the cottage, the fact was ascertained by his listening to her again. it must be so. she was perfectly convinced of it. it would be an excellent match, for _he_ was rich, and _she_ was handsome. mrs. jennings had been anxious to see colonel brandon well married, ever since her connection with sir john first brought him to her knowledge; and she was always anxious to get a good husband for every pretty girl. the immediate advantage to herself was by no means inconsiderable, for it supplied her with endless jokes against them both. at the park she laughed at the colonel, and in the cottage at marianne. to the former her raillery was probably, as far as it regarded only himself, perfectly indifferent; but to the latter it was at first incomprehensible; and when its object was understood, she hardly knew whether most to laugh at its absurdity, or censure its impertinence, for she considered it as an unfeeling reflection on the colonel's advanced years, and on his forlorn condition as an old bachelor. mrs. dashwood, who could not think a man five years younger than herself, so exceedingly ancient as he appeared to the youthful fancy of her daughter, ventured to clear mrs. jennings from the probability of wishing to throw ridicule on his age. "but at least, mamma, you cannot deny the absurdity of the accusation, though you may not think it intentionally ill-natured. colonel brandon is certainly younger than mrs. jennings, but he is old enough to be _my_ father; and if he were ever animated enough to be in love, must have long outlived every sensation of the kind. it is too ridiculous! when is a man to be safe from such wit, if age and infirmity will not protect him?" "infirmity!" said elinor, "do you call colonel brandon infirm? i can easily suppose that his age may appear much greater to you than to my mother; but you can hardly deceive yourself as to his having the use of his limbs!" "did not you hear him complain of the rheumatism? and is not that the commonest infirmity of declining life?" "my dearest child," said her mother, laughing, "at this rate you must be in continual terror of _my_ decay; and it must seem to you a miracle that my life has been extended to the advanced age of forty." "mamma, you are not doing me justice. i know very well that colonel brandon is not old enough to make his friends yet apprehensive of losing him in the course of nature. he may live twenty years longer. but thirty-five has nothing to do with matrimony." "perhaps," said elinor, "thirty-five and seventeen had better not have any thing to do with matrimony together. but if there should by any chance happen to be a woman who is single at seven and twenty, i should not think colonel brandon's being thirty-five any objection to his marrying _her_ ." "a woman of seven and twenty," said marianne, after pausing a moment, "can never hope to feel or inspire affection again, and if her home be uncomfortable, or her fortune small, i can suppose that she might bring herself to submit to the offices of a nurse, for the sake of the provision and security of a wife. in his marrying such a woman therefore there would be nothing unsuitable. it would be a compact of convenience, and the world would be satisfied. in my eyes it would be no marriage at all, but that would be nothing. to me it would seem only a commercial exchange, in which each wished to be benefited at the expense of the other." "it would be impossible, i know," replied elinor, "to convince you that a woman of seven and twenty could feel for a man of thirty-five anything near enough to love, to make him a desirable companion to her. but i must object to your dooming colonel brandon and his wife to the constant confinement of a sick chamber, merely because he chanced to complain yesterday (a very cold damp day) of a slight rheumatic feel in one of his shoulders." "but he talked of flannel waistcoats," said marianne; "and with me a flannel waistcoat is invariably connected with aches, cramps, rheumatisms, and every species of ailment that can afflict the old and the feeble." "had he been only in a violent fever, you would not have despised him half so much. confess, marianne, is not there something interesting to you in the flushed cheek, hollow eye, and quick pulse of a fever?" soon after this, upon elinor's leaving the room, "mamma," said marianne, "i have an alarm on the subject of illness which i cannot conceal from you. i am sure edward ferrars is not well. we have now been here almost a fortnight, and yet he does not come. nothing but real indisposition could occasion this extraordinary delay. what else can detain him at norland?" "had you any idea of his coming so soon?" said mrs. dashwood. "i had none. on the contrary, if i have felt any anxiety at all on the subject, it has been in recollecting that he sometimes showed a want of pleasure and readiness in accepting my invitation, when i talked of his coming to barton. does elinor expect him already?" "i have never mentioned it to her, but of course she must." "i rather think you are mistaken, for when i was talking to her yesterday of getting a new grate for the spare bed-chamber, she observed that there was no immediate hurry for it, as it was not likely that the room would be wanted for some time." "how strange this is! what can be the meaning of it! but the whole of their behaviour to each other has been unaccountable! how cold, how composed were their last adieus! how languid their conversation the last evening of their being together! in edward's farewell there was no distinction between elinor and me: it was the good wishes of an affectionate brother to both. twice did i leave them purposely together in the course of the last morning, and each time did he most unaccountably follow me out of the room. and elinor, in quitting norland and edward, cried not as i did. even now her self-command is invariable. when is she dejected or melancholy? when does she try to avoid society, or appear restless and dissatisfied in it?" chapter ix the dashwoods were now settled at barton with tolerable comfort to themselves. the house and the garden, with all the objects surrounding them, were now become familiar, and the ordinary pursuits which had given to norland half its charms were engaged in again with far greater enjoyment than norland had been able to afford, since the loss of their father. sir john middleton, who called on them every day for the first fortnight, and who was not in the habit of seeing much occupation at home, could not conceal his amazement on finding them always employed. their visitors, except those from barton park, were not many; for, in spite of sir john's urgent entreaties that they would mix more in the neighbourhood, and repeated assurances of his carriage being always at their service, the independence of mrs. dashwood's spirit overcame the wish of society for her children; and she was resolute in declining to visit any family beyond the distance of a walk. there were but few who could be so classed; and it was not all of them that were attainable. about a mile and a half from the cottage, along the narrow winding valley of allenham, which issued from that of barton, as formerly described, the girls had, in one of their earliest walks, discovered an ancient respectable looking mansion which, by reminding them a little of norland, interested their imagination and made them wish to be better acquainted with it. but they learnt, on enquiry, that its possessor, an elderly lady of very good character, was unfortunately too infirm to mix with the world, and never stirred from home. the whole country about them abounded in beautiful walks. the high downs which invited them from almost every window of the cottage to seek the exquisite enjoyment of air on their summits, were a happy alternative when the dirt of the valleys beneath shut up their superior beauties; and towards one of these hills did marianne and margaret one memorable morning direct their steps, attracted by the partial sunshine of a showery sky, and unable longer to bear the confinement which the settled rain of the two preceding days had occasioned. the weather was not tempting enough to draw the two others from their pencil and their book, in spite of marianne's declaration that the day would be lastingly fair, and that every threatening cloud would be drawn off from their hills; and the two girls set off together. they gaily ascended the downs, rejoicing in their own penetration at every glimpse of blue sky; and when they caught in their faces the animating gales of a high south-westerly wind, they pitied the fears which had prevented their mother and elinor from sharing such delightful sensations. "is there a felicity in the world," said marianne, "superior to this?--margaret, we will walk here at least two hours." margaret agreed, and they pursued their way against the wind, resisting it with laughing delight for about twenty minutes longer, when suddenly the clouds united over their heads, and a driving rain set full in their face. chagrined and surprised, they were obliged, though unwillingly, to turn back, for no shelter was nearer than their own house. one consolation however remained for them, to which the exigence of the moment gave more than usual propriety,--it was that of running with all possible speed down the steep side of the hill which led immediately to their garden gate. they set off. marianne had at first the advantage, but a false step brought her suddenly to the ground; and margaret, unable to stop herself to assist her, was involuntarily hurried along, and reached the bottom in safety. a gentleman carrying a gun, with two pointers playing round him, was passing up the hill and within a few yards of marianne, when her accident happened. he put down his gun and ran to her assistance. she had raised herself from the ground, but her foot had been twisted in her fall, and she was scarcely able to stand. the gentleman offered his services; and perceiving that her modesty declined what her situation rendered necessary, took her up in his arms without farther delay, and carried her down the hill. then passing through the garden, the gate of which had been left open by margaret, he bore her directly into the house, whither margaret was just arrived, and quitted not his hold till he had seated her in a chair in the parlour. elinor and her mother rose up in amazement at their entrance, and while the eyes of both were fixed on him with an evident wonder and a secret admiration which equally sprung from his appearance, he apologized for his intrusion by relating its cause, in a manner so frank and so graceful that his person, which was uncommonly handsome, received additional charms from his voice and expression. had he been even old, ugly, and vulgar, the gratitude and kindness of mrs. dashwood would have been secured by any act of attention to her child; but the influence of youth, beauty, and elegance, gave an interest to the action which came home to her feelings. she thanked him again and again; and, with a sweetness of address which always attended her, invited him to be seated. but this he declined, as he was dirty and wet. mrs. dashwood then begged to know to whom she was obliged. his name, he replied, was willoughby, and his present home was at allenham, from whence he hoped she would allow him the honour of calling tomorrow to enquire after miss dashwood. the honour was readily granted, and he then departed, to make himself still more interesting, in the midst of a heavy rain. his manly beauty and more than common gracefulness were instantly the theme of general admiration, and the laugh which his gallantry raised against marianne received particular spirit from his exterior attractions. marianne herself had seen less of his person than the rest, for the confusion which crimsoned over her face, on his lifting her up, had robbed her of the power of regarding him after their entering the house. but she had seen enough of him to join in all the admiration of the others, and with an energy which always adorned her praise. his person and air were equal to what her fancy had ever drawn for the hero of a favourite story; and in his carrying her into the house with so little previous formality, there was a rapidity of thought which particularly recommended the action to her. every circumstance belonging to him was interesting. his name was good, his residence was in their favourite village, and she soon found out that of all manly dresses a shooting-jacket was the most becoming. her imagination was busy, her reflections were pleasant, and the pain of a sprained ankle was disregarded. sir john called on them as soon as the next interval of fair weather that morning allowed him to get out of doors; and marianne's accident being related to him, he was eagerly asked whether he knew any gentleman of the name of willoughby at allenham. "willoughby!" cried sir john; "what, is _he_ in the country? that is good news however; i will ride over tomorrow, and ask him to dinner on thursday." "you know him then," said mrs. dashwood. "know him! to be sure i do. why, he is down here every year." "and what sort of a young man is he?" "as good a kind of fellow as ever lived, i assure you. a very decent shot, and there is not a bolder rider in england." "and is that all you can say for him?" cried marianne, indignantly. "but what are his manners on more intimate acquaintance? what his pursuits, his talents, and genius?" sir john was rather puzzled. "upon my soul," said he, "i do not know much about him as to all _that._ but he is a pleasant, good humoured fellow, and has got the nicest little black bitch of a pointer i ever saw. was she out with him today?" but marianne could no more satisfy him as to the colour of mr. willoughby's pointer, than he could describe to her the shades of his mind. "but who is he?" said elinor. "where does he come from? has he a house at allenham?" on this point sir john could give more certain intelligence; and he told them that mr. willoughby had no property of his own in the country; that he resided there only while he was visiting the old lady at allenham court, to whom he was related, and whose possessions he was to inherit; adding, "yes, yes, he is very well worth catching i can tell you, miss dashwood; he has a pretty little estate of his own in somersetshire besides; and if i were you, i would not give him up to my younger sister, in spite of all this tumbling down hills. miss marianne must not expect to have all the men to herself. brandon will be jealous, if she does not take care." "i do not believe," said mrs. dashwood, with a good humoured smile, "that mr. willoughby will be incommoded by the attempts of either of _my_ daughters towards what you call _catching him._ it is not an employment to which they have been brought up. men are very safe with us, let them be ever so rich. i am glad to find, however, from what you say, that he is a respectable young man, and one whose acquaintance will not be ineligible." "he is as good a sort of fellow, i believe, as ever lived," repeated sir john. "i remember last christmas at a little hop at the park, he danced from eight o'clock till four, without once sitting down." "did he indeed?" cried marianne with sparkling eyes, "and with elegance, with spirit?" "yes; and he was up again at eight to ride to covert." "that is what i like; that is what a young man ought to be. whatever be his pursuits, his eagerness in them should know no moderation, and leave him no sense of fatigue." "aye, aye, i see how it will be," said sir john, "i see how it will be. you will be setting your cap at him now, and never think of poor brandon." "that is an expression, sir john," said marianne, warmly, "which i particularly dislike. i abhor every common-place phrase by which wit is intended; and 'setting one's cap at a man,' or 'making a conquest,' are the most odious of all. their tendency is gross and illiberal; and if their construction could ever be deemed clever, time has long ago destroyed all its ingenuity." sir john did not much understand this reproof; but he laughed as heartily as if he did, and then replied-"ay, you will make conquests enough, i dare say, one way or other. poor brandon! he is quite smitten already, and he is very well worth setting your cap at, i can tell you, in spite of all this tumbling about and spraining of ankles." chapter x marianne's preserver, as margaret, with more elegance than precision, styled willoughby, called at the cottage early the next morning to make his personal enquiries. he was received by mrs. dashwood with more than politeness; with a kindness which sir john's account of him and her own gratitude prompted; and every thing that passed during the visit tended to assure him of the sense, elegance, mutual affection, and domestic comfort of the family to whom accident had now introduced him. of their personal charms he had not required a second interview to be convinced. miss dashwood had a delicate complexion, regular features, and a remarkably pretty figure. marianne was still handsomer. her form, though not so correct as her sister's, in having the advantage of height, was more striking; and her face was so lovely, that when in the common cant of praise, she was called a beautiful girl, truth was less violently outraged than usually happens. her skin was very brown, but, from its transparency, her complexion was uncommonly brilliant; her features were all good; her smile was sweet and attractive; and in her eyes, which were very dark, there was a life, a spirit, an eagerness, which could hardily be seen without delight. from willoughby their expression was at first held back, by the embarrassment which the remembrance of his assistance created. but when this passed away, when her spirits became collected, when she saw that to the perfect good-breeding of the gentleman, he united frankness and vivacity, and above all, when she heard him declare, that of music and dancing he was passionately fond, she gave him such a look of approbation as secured the largest share of his discourse to herself for the rest of his stay. it was only necessary to mention any favourite amusement to engage her to talk. she could not be silent when such points were introduced, and she had neither shyness nor reserve in their discussion. they speedily discovered that their enjoyment of dancing and music was mutual, and that it arose from a general conformity of judgment in all that related to either. encouraged by this to a further examination of his opinions, she proceeded to question him on the subject of books; her favourite authors were brought forward and dwelt upon with so rapturous a delight, that any young man of five and twenty must have been insensible indeed, not to become an immediate convert to the excellence of such works, however disregarded before. their taste was strikingly alike. the same books, the same passages were idolized by each; or if any difference appeared, any objection arose, it lasted no longer than till the force of her arguments and the brightness of her eyes could be displayed. he acquiesced in all her decisions, caught all her enthusiasm; and long before his visit concluded, they conversed with the familiarity of a long-established acquaintance. "well, marianne," said elinor, as soon as he had left them, "for _one_ morning i think you have done pretty well. you have already ascertained mr. willoughby's opinion in almost every matter of importance. you know what he thinks of cowper and scott; you are certain of his estimating their beauties as he ought, and you have received every assurance of his admiring pope no more than is proper. but how is your acquaintance to be long supported, under such extraordinary despatch of every subject for discourse? you will soon have exhausted each favourite topic. another meeting will suffice to explain his sentiments on picturesque beauty, and second marriages, and then you can have nothing farther to ask." "elinor," cried marianne, "is this fair? is this just? are my ideas so scanty? but i see what you mean. i have been too much at my ease, too happy, too frank. i have erred against every common-place notion of decorum; i have been open and sincere where i ought to have been reserved, spiritless, dull, and deceitful:--had i talked only of the weather and the roads, and had i spoken only once in ten minutes, this reproach would have been spared." "my love," said her mother, "you must not be offended with elinor--she was only in jest. i should scold her myself, if she were capable of wishing to check the delight of your conversation with our new friend." marianne was softened in a moment. willoughby, on his side, gave every proof of his pleasure in their acquaintance, which an evident wish of improving it could offer. he came to them every day. to enquire after marianne was at first his excuse; but the encouragement of his reception, to which every day gave greater kindness, made such an excuse unnecessary before it had ceased to be possible, by marianne's perfect recovery. she was confined for some days to the house; but never had any confinement been less irksome. willoughby was a young man of good abilities, quick imagination, lively spirits, and open, affectionate manners. he was exactly formed to engage marianne's heart, for with all this, he joined not only a captivating person, but a natural ardour of mind which was now roused and increased by the example of her own, and which recommended him to her affection beyond every thing else. his society became gradually her most exquisite enjoyment. they read, they talked, they sang together; his musical talents were considerable; and he read with all the sensibility and spirit which edward had unfortunately wanted. in mrs. dashwood's estimation he was as faultless as in marianne's; and elinor saw nothing to censure in him but a propensity, in which he strongly resembled and peculiarly delighted her sister, of saying too much what he thought on every occasion, without attention to persons or circumstances. in hastily forming and giving his opinion of other people, in sacrificing general politeness to the enjoyment of undivided attention where his heart was engaged, and in slighting too easily the forms of worldly propriety, he displayed a want of caution which elinor could not approve, in spite of all that he and marianne could say in its support. marianne began now to perceive that the desperation which had seized her at sixteen and a half, of ever seeing a man who could satisfy her ideas of perfection, had been rash and unjustifiable. willoughby was all that her fancy had delineated in that unhappy hour and in every brighter period, as capable of attaching her; and his behaviour declared his wishes to be in that respect as earnest, as his abilities were strong. [illustration: _they sang together._] her mother too, in whose mind not one speculative thought of their marriage had been raised, by his prospect of riches, was led before the end of a week to hope and expect it; and secretly to congratulate herself on having gained two such sons-in-law as edward and willoughby. colonel brandon's partiality for marianne, which had so early been discovered by his friends, now first became perceptible to elinor, when it ceased to be noticed by them. their attention and wit were drawn off to his more fortunate rival; and the raillery which the other had incurred before any partiality arose, was removed when his feelings began really to call for the ridicule so justly annexed to sensibility. elinor was obliged, though unwillingly, to believe that the sentiments which mrs. jennings had assigned him for her own satisfaction, were now actually excited by her sister; and that however a general resemblance of disposition between the parties might forward the affection of mr. willoughby, an equally striking opposition of character was no hindrance to the regard of colonel brandon. she saw it with concern; for what could a silent man of five and thirty hope, when opposed to a very lively one of five and twenty? and as she could not even wish him successful, she heartily wished him indifferent. she liked him--in spite of his gravity and reserve, she beheld in him an object of interest. his manners, though serious, were mild; and his reserve appeared rather the result of some oppression of spirits than of any natural gloominess of temper. sir john had dropped hints of past injuries and disappointments, which justified her belief of his being an unfortunate man, and she regarded him with respect and compassion. perhaps she pitied and esteemed him the more because he was slighted by willoughby and marianne, who, prejudiced against him for being neither lively nor young, seemed resolved to undervalue his merits. "brandon is just the kind of man," said willoughby one day, when they were talking of him together, "whom every body speaks well of, and nobody cares about; whom all are delighted to see, and nobody remembers to talk to." "that is exactly what i think of him," cried marianne. "do not boast of it, however," said elinor, "for it is injustice in both of you. he is highly esteemed by all the family at the park, and i never see him myself without taking pains to converse with him." "that he is patronised by _you_," replied willoughby, "is certainly in his favour; but as for the esteem of the others, it is a reproach in itself. who would submit to the indignity of being approved by such a woman as lady middleton and mrs. jennings, that could command the indifference of any body else?" "but perhaps the abuse of such people as yourself and marianne will make amends for the regard of lady middleton and her mother. if their praise is censure, your censure may be praise, for they are not more undiscerning, than you are prejudiced and unjust." "in defence of your _protégé_ you can even be saucy." "my _protégé_, as you call him, is a sensible man; and sense will always have attractions for me. yes, marianne, even in a man between thirty and forty. he has seen a great deal of the world; has been abroad, has read, and has a thinking mind. i have found him capable of giving me much information on various subjects; and he has always answered my inquiries with readiness of good-breeding and good nature." "that is to say," cried marianne contemptuously, "he has told you, that in the east indies the climate is hot, and the mosquitoes are troublesome." "he _would_ have told me so, i doubt not, had i made any such inquiries, but they happened to be points on which i had been previously informed." "perhaps," said willoughby, "his observations may have extended to the existence of nabobs, gold mohrs, and palanquins." "i may venture to say that _his_ observations have stretched much further than _your_ candour. but why should you dislike him?" "i do not dislike him. i consider him, on the contrary, as a very respectable man, who has every body's good word, and nobody's notice; who, has more money than he can spend, more time than he knows how to employ, and two new coats every year." "add to which," cried marianne, "that he has neither genius, taste, nor spirit. that his understanding has no brilliancy, his feelings no ardour, and his voice no expression." "you decide on his imperfections so much in the mass," replied elinor, "and so much on the strength of your own imagination, that the commendation i am able to give of him is comparatively cold and insipid. i can only pronounce him to be a sensible man, well-bred, well-informed, of gentle address, and, i believe, possessing an amiable heart." "miss dashwood," cried willoughby, "you are now using me unkindly. you are endeavouring to disarm me by reason, and to convince me against my will. but it will not do. you shall find me as stubborn as you can be artful. i have three unanswerable reasons for disliking colonel brandon; he threatened me with rain when i wanted it to be fine; he has found fault with the hanging of my curricle, and i cannot persuade him to buy my brown mare. if it will be any satisfaction to you, however, to be told, that i believe his character to be in other respects irreproachable, i am ready to confess it. and in return for an acknowledgment, which must give me some pain, you cannot deny me the privilege of disliking him as much as ever." chapter xi little had mrs. dashwood or her daughters imagined when they first came into devonshire, that so many engagements would arise to occupy their time as shortly presented themselves, or that they should have such frequent invitations and such constant visitors as to leave them little leisure for serious employment. yet such was the case. when marianne was recovered, the schemes of amusement at home and abroad, which sir john had been previously forming, were put into execution. the private balls at the park then began; and parties on the water were made and accomplished as often as a showery october would allow. in every meeting of the kind willoughby was included; and the ease and familiarity which naturally attended these parties were exactly calculated to give increasing intimacy to his acquaintance with the dashwoods, to afford him opportunity of witnessing the excellencies of marianne, of marking his animated admiration of her, and of receiving, in her behaviour to himself, the most pointed assurance of her affection. elinor could not be surprised at their attachment. she only wished that it were less openly shown; and once or twice did venture to suggest the propriety of some self-command to marianne. but marianne abhorred all concealment where no real disgrace could attend unreserve; and to aim at the restraint of sentiments which were not in themselves illaudable, appeared to her not merely an unnecessary effort, but a disgraceful subjection of reason to common-place and mistaken notions. willoughby thought the same; and their behaviour at all times, was an illustration of their opinions. when he was present she had no eyes for any one else. every thing he did, was right. every thing he said, was clever. if their evenings at the park were concluded with cards, he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. if dancing formed the amusement of the night, they were partners for half the time; and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances, were careful to stand together and scarcely spoke a word to any body else. such conduct made them of course most exceedingly laughed at; but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them. mrs. dashwood entered into all their feelings with a warmth which left her no inclination for checking this excessive display of them. to her it was but the natural consequence of a strong affection in a young and ardent mind. this was the season of happiness to marianne. her heart was devoted to willoughby, and the fond attachment to norland, which she brought with her from sussex, was more likely to be softened than she had thought it possible before, by the charms which his society bestowed on her present home. elinor's happiness was not so great. her heart was not so much at ease, nor her satisfaction in their amusements so pure. they afforded her no companion that could make amends for what she had left behind, nor that could teach her to think of norland with less regret than ever. neither lady middleton nor mrs. jennings could supply to her the conversation she missed; although the latter was an everlasting talker, and from the first had regarded her with a kindness which ensured her a large share of her discourse. she had already repeated her own history to elinor three or four times; and had elinor's memory been equal to her means of improvement, she might have known very early in their acquaintance all the particulars of mr. jennings's last illness, and what he said to his wife a few minutes before he died. lady middleton was more agreeable than her mother only in being more silent. elinor needed little observation to perceive that her reserve was a mere calmness of manner with which sense had nothing to do. towards her husband and mother she was the same as to them; and intimacy was therefore neither to be looked for nor desired. she had nothing to say one day that she had not said the day before. her insipidity was invariable, for even her spirits were always the same; and though she did not oppose the parties arranged by her husband, provided every thing were conducted in style and her two eldest children attended her, she never appeared to receive more enjoyment from them than she might have experienced in sitting at home; and so little did her presence add to the pleasure of the others, by any share in their conversation, that they were sometimes only reminded of her being amongst them by her solicitude about her troublesome boys. in colonel brandon alone, of all her new acquaintance, did elinor find a person who could in any degree claim the respect of abilities, excite the interest of friendship, or give pleasure as a companion. willoughby was out of the question. her admiration and regard, even her sisterly regard, was all his own; but he was a lover; his attentions were wholly marianne's, and a far less agreeable man might have been more generally pleasing. colonel brandon, unfortunately for himself, had no such encouragement to think only of marianne, and in conversing with elinor he found the greatest consolation for the indifference of her sister. elinor's compassion for him increased, as she had reason to suspect that the misery of disappointed love had already been known to him. this suspicion was given by some words which accidentally dropped from him one evening at the park, when they were sitting down together by mutual consent, while the others were dancing. his eyes were fixed on marianne, and, after a silence of some minutes, he said, with a faint smile, "your sister, i understand, does not approve of second attachments." "no," replied elinor, "her opinions are all romantic." "or rather, as i believe, she considers them impossible to exist." "i believe she does. but how she contrives it without reflecting on the character of her own father, who had himself two wives, i know not. a few years however will settle her opinions on the reasonable basis of common sense and observation; and then they may be more easy to define and to justify than they now are, by any body but herself." "this will probably be the case," he replied; "and yet there is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions." "i cannot agree with you there," said elinor. "there are inconveniences attending such feelings as marianne's, which all the charms of enthusiasm and ignorance of the world cannot atone for. her systems have all the unfortunate tendency of setting propriety at nought; and a better acquaintance with the world is what i look forward to as her greatest possible advantage." after a short pause he resumed the conversation by saying-"does your sister make no distinction in her objections against a second attachment? or is it equally criminal in every body? are those who have been disappointed in their first choice, whether from the inconstancy of its object, or the perverseness of circumstances, to be equally indifferent during the rest of their lives?" "upon my word, i am not acquainted with the minutiæ of her principles. i only know that i never yet heard her admit any instance of a second attachment's being pardonable." "this," said he, "cannot hold; but a change, a total change of sentiments--no, no, do not desire it; for when the romantic refinements of a young mind are obliged to give way, how frequently are they succeeded by such opinions as are but too common, and too dangerous! i speak from experience. i once knew a lady who in temper and mind greatly resembled your sister, who thought and judged like her, but who from an enforced change--from a series of unfortunate circumstances--" here he stopped suddenly; appeared to think that he had said too much, and by his countenance gave rise to conjectures, which might not otherwise have entered elinor's head. the lady would probably have passed without suspicion, had he not convinced miss dashwood that what concerned her ought not to escape his lips. as it was, it required but a slight effort of fancy to connect his emotion with the tender recollection of past regard. elinor attempted no more. but marianne, in her place, would not have done so little. the whole story would have been speedily formed under her active imagination; and every thing established in the most melancholy order of disastrous love. chapter xii as elinor and marianne were walking together the next morning the latter communicated a piece of news to her sister, which in spite of all that she knew before of marianne's imprudence and want of thought, surprised her by its extravagant testimony of both. marianne told her, with the greatest delight, that willoughby had given her a horse, one that he had bred himself on his estate in somersetshire, and which was exactly calculated to carry a woman. without considering that it was not in her mother's plan to keep any horse, that if she were to alter her resolution in favour of this gift, she must buy another for the servant, and keep a servant to ride it, and after all, build a stable to receive them, she had accepted the present without hesitation, and told her sister of it in raptures. "he intends to send his groom into somersetshire immediately for it," she added, "and when it arrives we will ride every day. you shall share its use with me. imagine to yourself, my dear elinor, the delight of a gallop on some of these downs." most unwilling was she to awaken from such a dream of felicity to comprehend all the unhappy truths which attended the affair; and for some time she refused to submit to them. as to an additional servant, the expense would be a trifle; mamma she was sure would never object to it; and any horse would do for _him_; he might always get one at the park; as to a stable, the merest shed would be sufficient. elinor then ventured to doubt the propriety of her receiving such a present from a man so little, or at least so lately known to her. this was too much. "you are mistaken, elinor," said she warmly, "in supposing i know very little of willoughby. i have not known him long indeed, but i am much better acquainted with him, than i am with any other creature in the world, except yourself and mama. it is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone. seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others. i should hold myself guilty of greater impropriety in accepting a horse from my brother, than from willoughby. of john i know very little, though we have lived together for years; but of willoughby my judgment has long been formed." elinor thought it wisest to touch that point no more. she knew her sister's temper. opposition on so tender a subject would only attach her the more to her own opinion. but by an appeal to her affection for her mother, by representing the inconveniences which that indulgent mother must draw on herself, if (as would probably be the case) she consented to this increase of establishment, marianne was shortly subdued; and she promised not to tempt her mother to such imprudent kindness by mentioning the offer, and to tell willoughby when she saw him next, that it must be declined. she was faithful to her word; and when willoughby called at the cottage, the same day, elinor heard her express her disappointment to him in a low voice, on being obliged to forego the acceptance of his present. the reasons for this alteration were at the same time related, and they were such as to make further entreaty on his side impossible. his concern however was very apparent; and after expressing it with earnestness, he added, in the same low voice, "but, marianne, the horse is still yours, though you cannot use it now. i shall keep it only till you can claim it. when you leave barton to form your own establishment in a more lasting home, queen mab shall receive you." this was all overheard by miss dashwood; and in the whole of the sentence, in his manner of pronouncing it, and in his addressing her sister by her christian name alone, she instantly saw an intimacy so decided, a meaning so direct, as marked a perfect agreement between them. from that moment she doubted not of their being engaged to each other; and the belief of it created no other surprise than that she, or any of their friends, should be left by tempers so frank, to discover it by accident. margaret related something to her the next day, which placed this matter in a still clearer light. willoughby had spent the preceding evening with them, and margaret, by being left some time in the parlour with only him and marianne, had had opportunity for observations, which, with a most important face, she communicated to her eldest sister, when they were next by themselves. "oh, elinor!" she cried, "i have such a secret to tell you about marianne. i am sure she will be married to mr. willoughby very soon." "you have said so," replied elinor, "almost every day since they first met on high-church down; and they had not known each other a week, i believe, before you were certain that marianne wore his picture round her neck; but it turned out to be only the miniature of our great uncle." "but indeed this is quite another thing. i am sure they will be married very soon, for he has got a lock of her hair." "take care, margaret. it may be only the hair of some great uncle of _his_." "but, indeed, elinor, it is marianne's. i am almost sure it is, for i saw him cut it off. last night after tea, when you and mama went out of the room, they were whispering and talking together as fast as could be, and he seemed to be begging something of her, and presently he took up her scissors and cut off a long lock of her hair, for it was all tumbled down her back; and he kissed it, and folded it up in a piece of white paper; and put it into his pocket-book." for such particulars, stated on such authority, elinor could not withhold her credit; nor was she disposed to it, for the circumstance was in perfect unison with what she had heard and seen herself. margaret's sagacity was not always displayed in a way so satisfactory to her sister. when mrs. jennings attacked her one evening at the park, to give the name of the young man who was elinor's particular favourite, which had been long a matter of great curiosity to her, margaret answered by looking at her sister, and saying, "i must not tell, may i, elinor?" this of course made every body laugh; and elinor tried to laugh too. but the effort was painful. she was convinced that margaret had fixed on a person whose name she could not bear with composure to become a standing joke with mrs. jennings. [illustration: _he cut off a long lock of her hair._] marianne felt for her most sincerely; but she did more harm than good to the cause, by turning very red and saying in an angry manner to margaret-"remember that whatever your conjectures may be, you have no right to repeat them." "i never had any conjectures about it," replied margaret; "it was you who told me of it yourself." this increased the mirth of the company, and margaret was eagerly pressed to say something more. "oh! pray, miss margaret, let us know all about it," said mrs. jennings. "what is the gentleman's name?" "i must not tell, ma'am. but i know very well what it is; and i know where he is too." "yes, yes, we can guess where he is; at his own house at norland to be sure. he is the curate of the parish i dare say." "no, _that_ he is not. he is of no profession at all." "margaret," said marianne with great warmth, "you know that all this is an invention of your own, and that there is no such person in existence." "well, then, he is lately dead, marianne, for i am sure there was such a man once, and his name begins with an f." most grateful did elinor feel to lady middleton for observing, at this moment, "that it rained very hard," though she believed the interruption to proceed less from any attention to her, than from her ladyship's great dislike of all such inelegant subjects of raillery as delighted her husband and mother. the idea however started by her, was immediately pursued by colonel brandon, who was on every occasion mindful of the feelings of others; and much was said on the subject of rain by both of them. willoughby opened the piano-forte, and asked marianne to sit down to it; and thus amidst the various endeavours of different people to quit the topic, it fell to the ground. but not so easily did elinor recover from the alarm into which it had thrown her. a party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from barton, belonging to a brother-in-law of colonel brandon, without whose interest it could not be seen, as the proprietor, who was then abroad, had left strict orders on that head. the grounds were declared to be highly beautiful, and sir john, who was particularly warm in their praise, might be allowed to be a tolerable judge, for he had formed parties to visit them, at least, twice every summer for the last ten years. they contained a noble piece of water--a sail on which was to a form a great part of the morning's amusement; cold provisions were to be taken, open carriages only to be employed, and every thing conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure. to some few of the company it appeared rather a bold undertaking, considering the time of year, and that it had rained every day for the last fortnight; and mrs. dashwood, who had already a cold, was persuaded by elinor to stay at home. chapter xiii their intended excursion to whitwell turned out very different from what elinor had expected. she was prepared to be wet through, fatigued, and frightened; but the event was still more unfortunate, for they did not go at all. by ten o'clock the whole party was assembled at the park, where they were to breakfast. the morning was rather favourable, though it had rained all night, as the clouds were then dispersing across the sky, and the sun frequently appeared. they were all in high spirits and good humour, eager to be happy, and determined to submit to the greatest inconveniences and hardships rather than be otherwise. while they were at breakfast the letters were brought in. among the rest there was one for colonel brandon:--he took it, looked at the direction, changed colour, and immediately left the room. "what is the matter with brandon?" said sir john. nobody could tell. "i hope he has had no bad news," said lady middleton. "it must be something extraordinary that could make colonel brandon leave my breakfast table so suddenly." in about five minutes he returned. "no bad news, colonel, i hope;" said mrs. jennings, as soon as he entered the room. "none at all, ma'am, i thank you." "was it from avignon? i hope it is not to say that your sister is worse." "no, ma'am. it came from town, and is merely a letter of business." "but how came the hand to discompose you so much, if it was only a letter of business? come, come, this won't do, colonel; so let us hear the truth of it." "my dear madam," said lady middleton, "recollect what you are saying." "perhaps it is to tell you that your cousin fanny is married?" said mrs. jennings, without attending to her daughter's reproof. "no, indeed, it is not." "well, then, i know who it is from, colonel. and i hope she is well." "whom do you mean, ma'am?" said he, colouring a little. "oh! you know who i mean." "i am particularly sorry, ma'am," said he, addressing lady middleton, "that i should receive this letter today, for it is on business which requires my immediate attendance in town." "in town!" cried mrs. jennings. "what can you have to do in town at this time of year?" "my own loss is great," he continued, "in being obliged to leave so agreeable a party; but i am the more concerned, as i fear my presence is necessary to gain your admittance at whitwell." what a blow upon them all was this! "but if you write a note to the housekeeper, mr. brandon," said marianne, eagerly, "will it not be sufficient?" he shook his head. "we must go," said sir john. "it shall not be put off when we are so near it. you cannot go to town till tomorrow, brandon, that is all." "i wish it could be so easily settled. but it is not in my power to delay my journey for one day!" "if you would but let us know what your business is," said mrs. jennings, "we might see whether it could be put off or not." "you would not be six hours later," said willoughby, "if you were to defer your journey till our return." "i cannot afford to lose _one_ hour." elinor then heard willoughby say, in a low voice to marianne, "there are some people who cannot bear a party of pleasure. brandon is one of them. he was afraid of catching cold i dare say, and invented this trick for getting out of it. i would lay fifty guineas the letter was of his own writing." "i have no doubt of it," replied marianne. "there is no persuading you to change your mind, brandon, i know of old," said sir john, "when once you are determined on anything. but, however, i hope you will think better of it. consider, here are the two miss careys come over from newton, the three miss dashwoods walked up from the cottage, and mr. willoughby got up two hours before his usual time, on purpose to go to whitwell." colonel brandon again repeated his sorrow at being the cause of disappointing the party; but at the same time declared it to be unavoidable. "well, then, when will you come back again?" "i hope we shall see you at barton," added her ladyship, "as soon as you can conveniently leave town; and we must put off the party to whitwell till you return." "you are very obliging. but it is so uncertain, when i may have it in my power to return, that i dare not engage for it at all." "oh! he must and shall come back," cried sir john. "if he is not here by the end of the week, i shall go after him." "ay, so do, sir john," cried mrs. jennings, "and then perhaps you may find out what his business is." "i do not want to pry into other men's concerns. i suppose it is something he is ashamed of." colonel brandon's horses were announced. "you do not go to town on horseback, do you?" added sir john. "no. only to honiton. i shall then go post." "well, as you are resolved to go, i wish you a good journey. but you had better change your mind." "i assure you it is not in my power." he then took leave of the whole party. "is there no chance of my seeing you and your sisters in town this winter, miss dashwood?" "i am afraid, none at all." "then i must bid you farewell for a longer time than i should wish to do." to marianne, he merely bowed and said nothing. "come colonel," said mrs. jennings, "before you go, do let us know what you are going about." he wished her a good morning, and, attended by sir john, left the room. the complaints and lamentations which politeness had hitherto restrained, now burst forth universally; and they all agreed again and again how provoking it was to be so disappointed. "i can guess what his business is, however," said mrs. jennings exultingly. "can you, ma'am?" said almost every body. "yes; it is about miss williams, i am sure." "and who is miss williams?" asked marianne. "what! do not you know who miss williams is? i am sure you must have heard of her before. she is a relation of the colonel's, my dear; a very near relation. we will not say how near, for fear of shocking the young ladies." then, lowering her voice a little, she said to elinor, "she is his natural daughter." "indeed!" "oh, yes; and as like him as she can stare. i dare say the colonel will leave her all his fortune." when sir john returned, he joined most heartily in the general regret on so unfortunate an event; concluding however by observing, that as they were all got together, they must do something by way of being happy; and after some consultation it was agreed, that although happiness could only be enjoyed at whitwell, they might procure a tolerable composure of mind by driving about the country. the carriages were then ordered; willoughby's was first, and marianne never looked happier than when she got into it. he drove through the park very fast, and they were soon out of sight; and nothing more of them was seen till their return, which did not happen till after the return of all the rest. they both seemed delighted with their drive; but said only in general terms that they had kept in the lanes, while the others went on the downs. it was settled that there should be a dance in the evening, and that every body should be extremely merry all day long. some more of the careys came to dinner, and they had the pleasure of sitting down nearly twenty to table, which sir john observed with great contentment. willoughby took his usual place between the two elder miss dashwoods. mrs. jennings sat on elinor's right hand; and they had not been long seated, before she leant behind her and willoughby, and said to marianne, loud enough for them both to hear, "i have found you out in spite of all your tricks. i know where you spent the morning." marianne coloured, and replied very hastily, "where, pray?" "did not you know," said willoughby, "that we had been out in my curricle?" "yes, yes, mr. impudence, i know that very well, and i was determined to find out _where_ you had been to. i hope you like your house, miss marianne. it is a very large one, i know; and when i come to see you, i hope you will have new-furnished it, for it wanted it very much when i was there six years ago." marianne turned away in great confusion. mrs. jennings laughed heartily; and elinor found that in her resolution to know where they had been, she had actually made her own woman enquire of mr. willoughby's groom; and that she had by that method been informed that they had gone to allenham, and spent a considerable time there in walking about the garden and going all over the house. elinor could hardly believe this to be true, as it seemed very unlikely that willoughby should propose, or marianne consent, to enter the house while mrs. smith was in it, with whom marianne had not the smallest acquaintance. as soon as they left the dining-room, elinor enquired of her about it; and great was her surprise when she found that every circumstance related by mrs. jennings was perfectly true. marianne was quite angry with her for doubting it. "why should you imagine, elinor, that we did not go there, or that we did not see the house? is not it what you have often wished to do yourself?" "yes, marianne, but i would not go while mrs. smith was there, and with no other companion than mr. willoughby." [illustration: "_i have found you out in spite of all your tricks._"] "mr. willoughby however is the only person who can have a right to show that house; and as he went in an open carriage, it was impossible to have any other companion. i never spent a pleasanter morning in my life." "i am afraid," replied elinor, "that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety." "on the contrary, nothing can be a stronger proof of it, elinor; for if there had been any real impropriety in what i did, i should have been sensible of it at the time, for we always know when we are acting wrong, and with such a conviction i could have had no pleasure." "but, my dear marianne, as it has already exposed you to some very impertinent remarks, do you not now begin to doubt the discretion of your own conduct?" "if the impertinent remarks of mrs. jennings are to be the proof of impropriety in conduct, we are all offending every moment of our lives. i value not her censure any more than i should do her commendation. i am not sensible of having done anything wrong in walking over mrs. smith's grounds, or in seeing her house. they will one day be mr. willoughby's, and--" "if they were one day to be your own, marianne, you would not be justified in what you have done." she blushed at this hint; but it was even visibly gratifying to her; and after a ten minutes' interval of earnest thought, she came to her sister again, and said with great good humour, "perhaps, elinor, it _was_ rather ill-judged in me to go to allenham; but mr. willoughby wanted particularly to show me the place; and it is a charming house, i assure you. there is one remarkably pretty sitting room up stairs; of a nice comfortable size for constant use, and with modern furniture it would be delightful. it is a corner room, and has windows on two sides. on one side you look across the bowling-green, behind the house, to a beautiful hanging wood, and on the other you have a view of the church and village, and, beyond them, of those fine bold hills that we have so often admired. i did not see it to advantage, for nothing could be more forlorn than the furniture; but if it were newly fitted up--a couple of hundred pounds, willoughby says, would make it one of the pleasantest summer-rooms in england." could elinor have listened to her without interruption from the others, she would have described every room in the house with equal delight. chapter xiv the sudden termination of colonel brandon's visit at the park, with his steadiness in concealing its cause, filled the mind, and raised the wonder of mrs. jennings for two or three days; she was a great wonderer, as every one must be who takes a very lively interest in all the comings and goings of all their acquaintance. she wondered, with little intermission what could be the reason of it; was sure there must be some bad news, and thought over every kind of distress that could have befallen him, with a fixed determination that he should not escape them all. "something very melancholy must be the matter, i am sure," said she. "i could see it in his face. poor man! i am afraid his circumstances may be bad. the estate at delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything sadly involved. i do think he must have been sent for about money matters, for what else can it be? i wonder whether it is so. i would give anything to know the truth of it. perhaps it is about miss williams and, by the bye, i dare say it is, because he looked so conscious when i mentioned her. may be she is ill in town; nothing in the world more likely, for i have a notion she is always rather sickly. i would lay any wager it is about miss williams. it is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances _now_, for he is a very prudent man, and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time. i wonder what it can be! may be his sister is worse at avignon, and has sent for him over. his setting off in such a hurry seems very like it. well, i wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart, and a good wife into the bargain." so wondered, so talked mrs. jennings. her opinion varying with every fresh conjecture, and all seeming equally probable as they arose. elinor, though she felt really interested in the welfare of colonel brandon, could not bestow all the wonder on his going so suddenly away, which mrs. jennings was desirous of her feeling; for besides that the circumstance did not in her opinion justify such lasting amazement or variety of speculation, her wonder was otherwise disposed of. it was engrossed by the extraordinary silence of her sister and willoughby on the subject, which they must know to be peculiarly interesting to them all. as this silence continued, every day made it appear more strange and more incompatible with the disposition of both. why they should not openly acknowledge to her mother and herself, what their constant behaviour to each other declared to have taken place, elinor could not imagine. she could easily conceive that marriage might not be immediately in their power; for though willoughby was independent, there was no reason to believe him rich. his estate had been rated by sir john at about six or seven hundred a year; but he lived at an expense to which that income could hardly be equal, and he had himself often complained of his poverty. but for this strange kind of secrecy maintained by them relative to their engagement, which in fact concealed nothing at all, she could not account; and it was so wholly contradictory to their general opinions and practice, that a doubt sometimes entered her mind of their being really engaged, and this doubt was enough to prevent her making any inquiry of marianne. nothing could be more expressive of attachment to them all, than willoughby's behaviour. to marianne it had all the distinguishing tenderness which a lover's heart could give, and to the rest of the family it was the affectionate attention of a son and a brother. the cottage seemed to be considered and loved by him as his home; many more of his hours were spent there than at allenham; and if no general engagement collected them at the park, the exercise which called him out in the morning was almost certain of ending there, where the rest of the day was spent by himself at the side of marianne, and by his favourite pointer at her feet. one evening in particular, about a week after colonel brandon left the country, his heart seemed more than usually open to every feeling of attachment to the objects around him; and on mrs. dashwood's happening to mention her design of improving the cottage in the spring, he warmly opposed every alteration of a place which affection had established as perfect with him. "what!" he exclaimed, "improve this dear cottage! no. _that_ i will never consent to. not a stone must be added to its walls, not an inch to its size, if my feelings are regarded." "do not be alarmed," said miss dashwood, "nothing of the kind will be done; for my mother will never have money enough to attempt it." "i am heartily glad of it," he cried. "may she always be poor, if she can employ her riches no better." "thank you, willoughby. but you may be assured that i would not sacrifice one sentiment of local attachment of yours, or of any one whom i loved, for all the improvements in the world. depend upon it that whatever unemployed sum may remain, when i make up my accounts in the spring, i would even rather lay it uselessly by than dispose of it in a manner so painful to you. but are you really so attached to this place as to see no defect in it?" "i am," said he. "to me it is faultless. nay, more, i consider it as the only form of building in which happiness is attainable, and were i rich enough i would instantly pull combe down, and build it up again in the exact plan of this cottage." "with dark narrow stairs and a kitchen that smokes, i suppose," said elinor. "yes," cried he in the same eager tone, "with all and every thing belonging to it--in no one convenience or inconvenience about it, should the least variation be perceptible. then, and then only, under such a roof, i might perhaps be as happy at combe as i have been at barton." "i flatter myself," replied elinor, "that even under the disadvantage of better rooms and a broader staircase, you will hereafter find your own house as faultless as you now do this." "there certainly are circumstances," said willoughby, "which might greatly endear it to me; but this place will always have one claim of my affection, which no other can possibly share." mrs. dashwood looked with pleasure at marianne, whose fine eyes were fixed so expressively on willoughby, as plainly denoted how well she understood him. "how often did i wish," added he, "when i was at allenham this time twelvemonth, that barton cottage were inhabited! i never passed within view of it without admiring its situation, and grieving that no one should live in it. how little did i then think that the very first news i should hear from mrs. smith, when i next came into the country, would be that barton cottage was taken: and i felt an immediate satisfaction and interest in the event, which nothing but a kind of prescience of what happiness i should experience from it, can account for. must it not have been so, marianne?" speaking to her in a lowered voice. then continuing his former tone, he said, "and yet this house you would spoil, mrs. dashwood? you would rob it of its simplicity by imaginary improvement! and this dear parlour in which our acquaintance first began, and in which so many happy hours have been since spent by us together, you would degrade to the condition of a common entrance, and every body would be eager to pass through the room which has hitherto contained within itself more real accommodation and comfort than any other apartment of the handsomest dimensions in the world could possibly afford." mrs. dashwood again assured him that no alteration of the kind should be attempted. "you are a good woman," he warmly replied. "your promise makes me easy. extend it a little farther, and it will make me happy. tell me that not only your house will remain the same, but that i shall ever find you and yours as unchanged as your dwelling; and that you will always consider me with the kindness which has made everything belonging to you so dear to me." the promise was readily given, and willoughby's behaviour during the whole of the evening declared at once his affection and happiness. "shall we see you tomorrow to dinner?" said mrs. dashwood, when he was leaving them. "i do not ask you to come in the morning, for we must walk to the park, to call on lady middleton." he engaged to be with them by four o'clock. chapter xv mrs. dashwood's visit to lady middleton took place the next day, and two of her daughters went with her; but marianne excused herself from being of the party, under some trifling pretext of employment; and her mother, who concluded that a promise had been made by willoughby the night before of calling on her while they were absent, was perfectly satisfied with her remaining at home. on their return from the park they found willoughby's curricle and servant in waiting at the cottage, and mrs. dashwood was convinced that her conjecture had been just. so far it was all as she had foreseen; but on entering the house she beheld what no foresight had taught her to expect. they were no sooner in the passage than marianne came hastily out of the parlour apparently in violent affliction, with her handkerchief at her eyes; and without noticing them ran up stairs. surprised and alarmed they proceeded directly into the room she had just quitted, where they found only willoughby, who was leaning against the mantelpiece with his back towards them. he turned round on their coming in, and his countenance showed that he strongly partook of the emotion which overpowered marianne. "is anything the matter with her?" cried mrs. dashwood as she entered:--"is she ill?" "i hope not," he replied, trying to look cheerful; and with a forced smile presently added, "it is i who may rather expect to be ill--for i am now suffering under a very heavy disappointment!" "disappointment?" "yes, for i am unable to keep my engagement with you. mrs. smith has this morning exercised the privilege of riches upon a poor dependent cousin, by sending me on business to london. i have just received my dispatches, and taken my farewell of allenham; and by way of exhilaration i am now come to take my farewell of you." "to london!--and are you going this morning?" "almost this moment." [illustration: _apparently in violent affliction._] "this is very unfortunate. but mrs. smith must be obliged, and her business will not detain you from us long i hope." he coloured as he replied, "you are very kind, but i have no idea of returning into devonshire immediately. my visits to mrs. smith are never repeated within the twelvemonth." "and is mrs. smith your only friend? is allenham the only house in the neighbourhood to which you will be welcome? for shame, willoughby, can you wait for an invitation here?" his colour increased; and with his eyes fixed on the ground he only replied, "you are too good." mrs. dashwood looked at elinor with surprise. elinor felt equal amazement. for a few moments every one was silent. mrs. dashwood first spoke. "i have only to add, my dear willoughby, that at barton cottage you will always be welcome; for i will not press you to return here immediately, because you only can judge how far _that_ might be pleasing to mrs. smith; and on this head i shall be no more disposed to question your judgment than to doubt your inclination." "my engagements at present," replied willoughby, confusedly, "are of such a nature--that--i dare not flatter myself--" he stopped. mrs. dashwood was too much astonished to speak, and another pause succeeded. this was broken by willoughby, who said with a faint smile, "it is folly to linger in this manner. i will not torment myself any longer by remaining among friends whose society it is impossible for me now to enjoy." he then hastily took leave of them all and left the room. they saw him step into his carriage, and in a minute it was out of sight. mrs. dashwood felt too much for speech, and instantly quitted the parlour to give way in solitude to the concern and alarm which this sudden departure occasioned. elinor's uneasiness was at least equal to her mother's. she thought of what had just passed with anxiety and distrust. willoughby's behaviour in taking leave of them, his embarrassment, and affectation of cheerfulness, and, above all, his unwillingness to accept her mother's invitation--a backwardness so unlike a lover, so unlike himself--greatly disturbed her. one moment she feared that no serious design had ever been formed on his side; and the next that some unfortunate quarrel had taken place between him and her sister. the distress in which marianne had quitted the room was such as a serious quarrel could most reasonably account for, though when she considered what marianne's love for him was, a quarrel seemed almost impossible. but whatever might be the particulars of their separation, her sister's affliction was indubitable; and she thought with the tenderest compassion of that violent sorrow which marianne was in all probability not merely giving way to as a relief, but feeding and encouraging as a duty. in about half an hour her mother returned, and though her eyes were red, her countenance was not uncheerful. "our dear willoughby is now some miles from barton, elinor," said she, as she sat down to work, "and with how heavy a heart does he travel?" "it is all very strange. so suddenly to be gone! it seems but the work of a moment. and last night he was with us so happy, so cheerful, so affectionate? and now, after only ten minutes notice,--gone too without intending to return! something more than what he owned to us must have happened. he did not speak, he did not behave like himself. _you_ must have seen the difference as well as i. what can it be? can they have quarrelled? why else should he have shown such unwillingness to accept your invitation here?" "it was not inclination that he wanted, elinor; i could plainly see _that._ he had not the power of accepting it. i have thought it all over i assure you, and i can perfectly account for every thing that at first seemed strange to me as well as to you." "can you, indeed!" "yes. i have explained it to myself in the most satisfactory way; but you, elinor, who love to doubt where you can--it will not satisfy _you_, i know; but you shall not talk _me_ out of my trust in it. i am persuaded that mrs. smith suspects his regard for marianne, disapproves of it, (perhaps because she has other views for him,) and on that account is eager to get him away; and that the business which she sends him off to transact is invented as an excuse to dismiss him. this is what i believe to have happened. he is, moreover, aware that she _does_ disapprove the connection, he dares not therefore at present confess to her his engagement with marianne, and he feels himself obliged, from his dependent situation, to give into her schemes, and absent himself from devonshire for a while. you will tell me, i know, that this may or may _not_ have happened; but i will listen to no cavil, unless you can point out any other method of understanding the affair as satisfactory at this. and now, elinor, what have you to say?" "nothing, for you have anticipated my answer." "then you would have told me, that it might or might not have happened. oh, elinor, how incomprehensible are your feelings! you had rather take evil upon credit than good. you had rather look out for misery for marianne, and guilt for poor willoughby, than an apology for the latter. you are resolved to think him blamable, because he took leave of us with less affection than his usual behaviour has shown. and is no allowance to be made for inadvertence, or for spirits depressed by recent disappointment? are no probabilities to be accepted, merely because they are not certainties? is nothing due to the man whom we have all such reason to love, and no reason in the world to think ill of?--to the possibility of motives unanswerable in themselves, though unavoidably secret for a while? and, after all, what is it you suspect him of?" "i can hardly tell myself. but suspicion of something unpleasant is the inevitable consequence of such an alteration as we just witnessed in him. there is great truth, however, in what you have now urged of the allowances which ought to be made for him, and it is my wish to be candid in my judgment of every body. willoughby may undoubtedly have very sufficient reasons for his conduct, and i will hope that he has. but it would have been more like willoughby to acknowledge them at once. secrecy may be advisable; but still i cannot help wondering at its being practiced by him." "do not blame him, however, for departing from his character, where the deviation is necessary. but you really do admit the justice of what i have said in his defence?--i am happy--and he is acquitted." "not entirely. it may be proper to conceal their engagement (if they _are_ engaged) from mrs. smith; and if that is the case, it must be highly expedient for willoughby to be but little in devonshire at present. but this is no excuse for their concealing it from us." "concealing it from us! my dear child, do you accuse willoughby and marianne of concealment? this is strange indeed, when your eyes have been reproaching them every day for incautiousness." "i want no proof of their affection," said elinor; "but of their engagement i do." "i am perfectly satisfied of both." "yet not a syllable has been said to you on the subject, by either of them." "i have not wanted syllables where actions have spoken so plainly. has not his behaviour to marianne and to all of us, for at least the last fortnight, declared that he loved and considered her as his future wife, and that he felt for us the attachment of the nearest relation? have we not perfectly understood each other? has not my consent been daily asked by his looks, his manner, his attentive and affectionate respect? my elinor, is it possible to doubt their engagement? how could such a thought occur to you? how is it to be supposed that willoughby, persuaded as he must be of your sister's love, should leave her, and leave her perhaps for months, without telling her of his affection,--that they should part without a mutual exchange of confidence?" "i confess," replied elinor, "that every circumstance except _one_ is in favour of their engagement; but that _one_ is the total silence of both on the subject, and with me it almost outweighs every other." "how strange this is! you must think wretchedly indeed of willoughby, if, after all that has openly passed between them, you can doubt the nature of the terms on which they are together. has he been acting a part in his behaviour to your sister all this time? do you suppose him really indifferent to her?" "no, i cannot think that. he must and does love her i am sure." "but with a strange kind of tenderness, if he can leave her with such indifference, such carelessness of the future, as you attribute to him." "you must remember, my dear mother, that i have never considered this matter as certain. i have had my doubts, i confess; but they are fainter than they were, and they may soon be entirely done away. if we find they correspond, every fear of mine will be removed." "a mighty concession indeed! if you were to see them at the altar, you would suppose they were going to be married. ungracious girl! but i require no such proof. nothing in my opinion has ever passed to justify doubt; no secrecy has been attempted; all has been uniformly open and unreserved. you cannot doubt your sister's wishes. it must be willoughby therefore whom you suspect. but why? is he not a man of honour and feeling? has there been any inconsistency on his side to create alarm? can he be deceitful?" "i hope not, i believe not," cried elinor. "i love willoughby, sincerely love him; and suspicion of his integrity cannot be more painful to yourself than to me. it has been involuntary, and i will not encourage it. i was startled, i confess, by the alteration in his manners this morning; he did not speak like himself, and did not return your kindness with any cordiality. but all this may be explained by such a situation of his affairs as you have supposed. he had just parted from my sister, had seen her leave him in the greatest affliction; and if he felt obliged, from a fear of offending mrs. smith, to resist the temptation of returning here soon, and yet aware that by declining your invitation, by saying that he was going away for some time, he should seem to act an ungenerous, a suspicious part by our family, he might well be embarrassed and disturbed. in such a case, a plain and open avowal of his difficulties would have been more to his honour i think, as well as more consistent with his general character;--but i will not raise objections against any one's conduct on so illiberal a foundation, as a difference in judgment from myself, or a deviation from what i may think right and consistent." "you speak very properly. willoughby certainly does not deserve to be suspected. though _we_ have not known him long, he is no stranger in this part of the world; and who has ever spoken to his disadvantage? had he been in a situation to act independently and marry immediately, it might have been odd that he should leave us without acknowledging everything to me at once: but this is not the case. it is an engagement in some respects not prosperously begun, for their marriage must be at a very uncertain distance; and even secrecy, as far as it can be observed, may now be very advisable." they were interrupted by the entrance of margaret; and elinor was then at liberty to think over the representations of her mother, to acknowledge the probability of many, and hope for the justice of all. they saw nothing of marianne till dinner time, when she entered the room and took her place at the table without saying a word. her eyes were red and swollen; and it seemed as if her tears were even then restrained with difficulty. she avoided the looks of them all, could neither eat nor speak, and after some time, on her mother's silently pressing her hand with tender compassion, her small degree of fortitude was quite overcome, she burst into tears and left the room. this violent oppression of spirits continued the whole evening. she was without any power, because she was without any desire of command over herself. the slightest mention of anything relative to willoughby overpowered her in an instant; and though her family were most anxiously attentive to her comfort, it was impossible for them, if they spoke at all, to keep clear of every subject which her feelings connected with him. chapter xvi marianne would have thought herself very inexcusable had she been able to sleep at all the first night after parting from willoughby. she would have been ashamed to look her family in the face the next morning, had she not risen from her bed in more need of repose than when she lay down in it. but the feelings which made such composure a disgrace, left her in no danger of incurring it. she was awake the whole night, and she wept the greatest part of it. she got up with a headache, was unable to talk, and unwilling to take any nourishment; giving pain every moment to her mother and sisters, and forbidding all attempt at consolation from either. her sensibility was potent enough! when breakfast was over she walked out by herself, and wandered about the village of allenham, indulging the recollection of past enjoyment and crying over the present reverse for the chief of the morning. the evening passed off in the equal indulgence of feeling. she played over every favourite song that she had been used to play to willoughby, every air in which their voices had been oftenest joined, and sat at the instrument gazing on every line of music that he had written out for her, till her heart was so heavy that no farther sadness could be gained; and this nourishment of grief was every day applied. she spent whole hours at the pianoforte alternately singing and crying; her voice often totally suspended by her tears. in books too, as well as in music, she courted the misery which a contrast between the past and present was certain of giving. she read nothing but what they had been used to read together. such violence of affliction indeed could not be supported for ever; it sunk within a few days into a calmer melancholy; but these employments, to which she daily recurred, her solitary walks and silent meditations, still produced occasional effusions of sorrow as lively as ever. no letter from willoughby came; and none seemed expected by marianne. her mother was surprised, and elinor again became uneasy. but mrs. dashwood could find explanations whenever she wanted them, which at least satisfied herself. "remember, elinor," said she, "how very often sir john fetches our letters himself from the post, and carries them to it. we have already agreed that secrecy may be necessary, and we must acknowledge that it could not be maintained if their correspondence were to pass through sir john's hands." elinor could not deny the truth of this, and she tried to find in it a motive sufficient for their silence. but there was one method so direct, so simple, and in her opinion so eligible of knowing the real state of the affair, and of instantly removing all mystery, that she could not help suggesting it to her mother. "why do you not ask marianne at once," said she, "whether she is or she is not engaged to willoughby? from you, her mother, and so kind, so indulgent a mother, the question could not give offence. it would be the natural result of your affection for her. she used to be all unreserve, and to you more especially." "i would not ask such a question for the world. supposing it possible that they are not engaged, what distress would not such an enquiry inflict! at any rate it would be most ungenerous. i should never deserve her confidence again, after forcing from her a confession of what is meant at present to be unacknowledged to any one. i know marianne's heart: i know that she dearly loves me, and that i shall not be the last to whom the affair is made known, when circumstances make the revealment of it eligible. i would not attempt to force the confidence of any one; of a child much less; because a sense of duty would prevent the denial which her wishes might direct." elinor thought this generosity overstrained, considering her sister's youth, and urged the matter farther, but in vain; common sense, common care, common prudence, were all sunk in mrs. dashwood's romantic delicacy. it was several days before willoughby's name was mentioned before marianne by any of her family; sir john and mrs. jennings, indeed, were not so nice; their witticisms added pain to many a painful hour; but one evening, mrs. dashwood, accidentally taking up a volume of shakespeare, exclaimed-"we have never finished _hamlet_, marianne; our dear willoughby went away before we could get through it. we will put it by, that when he comes again--; but it may be months, perhaps, before _that_ happens." "months!" cried marianne, with strong surprise. "no--nor many weeks." mrs. dashwood was sorry for what she had said; but it gave elinor pleasure, as it produced a reply from marianne so expressive of confidence in willoughby and knowledge of his intentions. one morning, about a week after his leaving the country, marianne was prevailed on to join her sisters in their usual walk, instead of wandering away by herself. hitherto she had carefully avoided every companion in her rambles. if her sisters intended to walk on the downs, she directly stole away towards the lanes; if they talked of the valley, she was as speedy in climbing the hills, and could never be found when the others set off. but at length she was secured by the exertions of elinor, who greatly disapproved such continual seclusion. they walked along the road through the valley, and chiefly in silence, for marianne's _mind_ could not be controlled, and elinor, satisfied with gaining one point, would not then attempt more. beyond the entrance of the valley, where the country, though still rich, was less wild and more open, a long stretch of the road which they had travelled on first coming to barton, lay before them; and on reaching that point, they stopped to look around them, and examine a prospect which formed the distance of their view from the cottage, from a spot which they had never happened to reach in any of their walks before. amongst the objects in the scene, they soon discovered an animated one; it was a man on horseback riding towards them. in a few minutes they could distinguish him to be a gentleman; and in a moment afterwards marianne rapturously exclaimed-"it is he; it is indeed--i know it is!" and was hastening to meet him, when elinor cried out-"indeed, marianne, i think you are mistaken. it is not willoughby. the person is not tall enough for him, and has not his air." "he has, he has," cried marianne, "i am sure he has. his air, his coat, his horse. i knew how soon he would come." she walked eagerly on as she spoke; and elinor, to screen marianne from particularity, as she felt almost certain of its not being willoughby, quickened her pace and kept up with her. they were soon within thirty yards of the gentleman. marianne looked again; her heart sunk within her; and abruptly turning round, she was hurrying back, when the voices of both her sisters were raised to detain her; a third, almost as well known as willoughby's, joined them in begging her to stop, and she turned round with surprise to see and welcome edward ferrars. [illustration: _begging her to stop._] he was the only person in the world who could at that moment be forgiven for not being willoughby; the only one who could have gained a smile from her; but she dispersed her tears to smile on _him_, and in her sister's happiness forgot for a time her own disappointment. he dismounted, and giving his horse to his servant, walked back with them to barton, whither he was purposely coming to visit them. he was welcomed by them all with great cordiality, but especially by marianne, who showed more warmth of regard in her reception of him than even elinor herself. to marianne, indeed, the meeting between edward and her sister was but a continuation of that unaccountable coldness which she had often observed at norland in their mutual behaviour. on edward's side, more particularly, there was a deficiency of all that a lover ought to look and say on such an occasion. he was confused, seemed scarcely sensible of pleasure in seeing them, looked neither rapturous nor gay, said little but what was forced from him by questions, and distinguished elinor by no mark of affection. marianne saw and listened with increasing surprise. she began almost to feel a dislike of edward; and it ended, as every feeling must end with her, by carrying back her thoughts to willoughby, whose manners formed a contrast sufficiently striking to those of his brother elect. after a short silence which succeeded the first surprise and enquiries of meeting, marianne asked edward if he came directly from london. no, he had been in devonshire a fortnight. "a fortnight!" she repeated, surprised at his being so long in the same county with elinor without seeing her before. he looked rather distressed as he added, that he had been staying with some friends near plymouth. "have you been lately in sussex?" said elinor. "i was at norland about a month ago." "and how does dear, dear norland look?" cried marianne. "dear, dear norland," said elinor, "probably looks much as it always does at this time of the year--the woods and walks thickly covered with dead leaves." "oh," cried marianne, "with what transporting sensation have i formerly seen them fall! how have i delighted, as i walked, to see them driven in showers about me by the wind! what feelings have they, the season, the air altogether inspired! now there is no one to regard them. they are seen only as a nuisance, swept hastily off, and driven as much as possible from the sight." "it is not every one," said elinor, "who has your passion for dead leaves." "no; my feelings are not often shared, not often understood. but _sometimes_ they are." as she said this, she sunk into a reverie for a few moments; but rousing herself again, "now, edward," said she, calling his attention to the prospect, "here is barton valley. look up to it, and be tranquil if you can. look at those hills! did you ever see their equals? to the left is barton park, amongst those woods and plantations. you may see the end of the house. and there, beneath that farthest hill, which rises with such grandeur, is our cottage." "it is a beautiful country," he replied; "but these bottoms must be dirty in winter." "how can you think of dirt, with such objects before you?" "because," replied he, smiling, "among the rest of the objects before me, i see a very dirty lane." "how strange!" said marianne to herself as she walked on. "have you an agreeable neighbourhood here? are the middletons pleasant people?" "no, not all," answered marianne; "we could not be more unfortunately situated." "marianne," cried her sister, "how can you say so? how can you be so unjust? they are a very respectable family, mr. ferrars; and towards us have behaved in the friendliest manner. have you forgot, marianne, how many pleasant days we have owed to them?" "no," said marianne, in a low voice, "nor how many painful moments." elinor took no notice of this; and directing her attention to their visitor, endeavoured to support something like discourse with him, by talking of their present residence, its conveniences, &c. extorting from him occasional questions and remarks. his coldness and reserve mortified her severely; she was vexed and half angry; but resolving to regulate her behaviour to him by the past rather than the present, she avoided every appearance of resentment or displeasure, and treated him as she thought he ought to be treated from the family connection. chapter xvii mrs. dashwood was surprised only for a moment at seeing him; for his coming to barton was, in her opinion, of all things the most natural. her joy and expression of regard long outlived her wonder. he received the kindest welcome from her; and shyness, coldness, reserve could not stand against such a reception. they had begun to fail him before he entered the house, and they were quite overcome by the captivating manners of mrs. dashwood. indeed a man could not very well be in love with either of her daughters, without extending the passion to her; and elinor had the satisfaction of seeing him soon become more like himself. his affections seemed to reanimate towards them all, and his interest in their welfare again became perceptible. he was not in spirits, however; he praised their house, admired its prospect, was attentive, and kind; but still he was not in spirits. the whole family perceived it, and mrs. dashwood, attributing it to some want of liberality in his mother, sat down to table indignant against all selfish parents. "what are mrs. ferrars's views for you at present, edward?" said she, when dinner was over and they had drawn round the fire; "are you still to be a great orator in spite of yourself?" "no. i hope my mother is now convinced that i have no more talents than inclination for a public life!" "but how is your fame to be established? for famous you must be to satisfy all your family; and with no inclination for expense, no affection for strangers, no profession, and no assurance, you may find it a difficult matter." "i shall not attempt it. i have no wish to be distinguished; and have every reason to hope i never shall. thank heaven! i cannot be forced into genius and eloquence." "you have no ambition, i well know. your wishes are all moderate." "as moderate as those of the rest of the world, i believe. i wish as well as every body else to be perfectly happy; but, like every body else it must be in my own way. greatness will not make me so." "strange that it would!" cried marianne. "what have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness?" "grandeur has but little," said elinor, "but wealth has much to do with it." "elinor, for shame!" said marianne, "money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it. beyond a competence, it can afford no real satisfaction, as far as mere self is concerned." "perhaps," said elinor, smiling, "we may come to the same point. _your_ competence and _my_ wealth are very much alike, i dare say; and without them, as the world goes now, we shall both agree that every kind of external comfort must be wanting. your ideas are only more noble than mine. come, what is your competence?" "about eighteen hundred or two thousand a year; not more than _that._" elinor laughed. "_two_ thousand a year! _one_ is my wealth! i guessed how it would end." "and yet two thousand a-year is a very moderate income," said marianne. "a family cannot well be maintained on a smaller. i am sure i am not extravagant in my demands. a proper establishment of servants, a carriage, perhaps two, and hunters, cannot be supported on less." elinor smiled again, to hear her sister describing so accurately their future expenses at combe magna. "hunters!" repeated edward; "but why must you have hunters? every body does not hunt." marianne coloured as she replied, "but most people do." "i wish," said margaret, striking out a novel thought, "that somebody would give us all a large fortune a-piece!" "oh that they would!" cried marianne, her eyes sparkling with animation, and her cheeks glowing with the delight of such imaginary happiness. "we are all unanimous in that wish, i suppose," said elinor, "in spite of the insufficiency of wealth." "oh dear!" cried margaret, "how happy i should be! i wonder what i should do with it!" marianne looked as if she had no doubt on that point. "i should be puzzled to spend so large a fortune myself," said mrs. dashwood, "if my children were all to be rich without my help." "you must begin your improvements on this house," observed elinor, "and your difficulties will soon vanish." "what magnificent orders would travel from this family to london," said edward, "in such an event! what a happy day for booksellers, music-sellers, and print-shops! you, miss dashwood, would give a general commission for every new print of merit to be sent you--and as for marianne, i know her greatness of soul, there would not be music enough in london to content her. and books!--thomson, cowper, scott--she would buy them all over and over again: she would buy up every copy, i believe, to prevent their falling into unworthy hands; and she would have every book that tells her how to admire an old twisted tree. should not you, marianne? forgive me, if i am very saucy. but i was willing to show you that i had not forgot our old disputes." "i love to be reminded of the past, edward--whether it be melancholy or gay, i love to recall it--and you will never offend me by talking of former times. you are very right in supposing how my money would be spent; some of it, at least--my loose cash--would certainly be employed in improving my collection of music and books." "and the bulk of your fortune would be laid out in annuities on the authors or their heirs." "no, edward, i should have something else to do with it." "perhaps, then, you would bestow it as a reward on that person who wrote the ablest defence of your favourite maxim, that no one can ever be in love more than once in their life--for your opinion on that point is unchanged, i presume?" "undoubtedly. at my time of life opinions are tolerably fixed. it is not likely that i should now see or hear any thing to change them." "marianne is as steadfast as ever, you see," said elinor, "she is not at all altered." "she is only grown a little more grave than she was." "nay, edward," said marianne, "you need not reproach me. you are not very gay yourself." "why should you think so!" replied he, with a sigh. "but gaiety never was a part of _my_ character." "nor do i think it a part of marianne's," said elinor; "i should hardly call her a lively girl--she is very earnest, very eager in all she does--sometimes talks a great deal and always with animation--but she is not often really merry." "i believe you are right," he replied, "and yet i have always set her down as a lively girl." "i have frequently detected myself in such kind of mistakes," said elinor, "in a total misapprehension of character in some point or other: fancying people so much more gay or grave, or ingenious or stupid than they really are, and i can hardly tell why or in what the deception originated. sometimes one is guided by what they say of themselves, and very frequently by what other people say of them, without giving oneself time to deliberate and judge." "but i thought it was right, elinor," said marianne, "to be guided wholly by the opinion of other people. i thought our judgments were given us merely to be subservient to those of neighbours. this has always been your doctrine, i am sure." "no, marianne, never. my doctrine has never aimed at the subjection of the understanding. all i have ever attempted to influence has been the behaviour. you must not confound my meaning. i am guilty, i confess, of having often wished you to treat our acquaintance in general with greater attention; but when have i advised you to adopt their sentiments or to conform to their judgment in serious matters?" "you have not been able to bring your sister over to your plan of general civility," said edward to elinor, "do you gain no ground?" "quite the contrary," replied elinor, looking expressively at marianne. "my judgment," he returned, "is all on your side of the question; but i am afraid my practice is much more on your sister's. i never wish to offend, but i am so foolishly shy, that i often seem negligent, when i am only kept back by my natural awkwardness. i have frequently thought that i must have been intended by nature to be fond of low company, i am so little at my ease among strangers of gentility!" "marianne has not shyness to excuse any inattention of hers," said elinor. "she knows her own worth too well for false shame," replied edward. "shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other. if i could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful, i should not be shy." "but you would still be reserved," said marianne, "and that is worse." edward started. "reserved! am i reserved, marianne?" "yes, very." "i do not understand you," replied he, colouring. "reserved!--how, in what manner? what am i to tell you? what can you suppose?" elinor looked surprised at his emotion; but trying to laugh off the subject, she said to him, "do not you know my sister well enough to understand what she means? do not you know she calls every one reserved who does not talk as fast, and admire what she admires as rapturously as herself?" edward made no answer. his gravity and thoughtfulness returned on him in their fullest extent--and he sat for some time silent and dull. chapter xviii elinor saw, with great uneasiness the low spirits of her friend. his visit afforded her but a very partial satisfaction, while his own enjoyment in it appeared so imperfect. it was evident that he was unhappy; she wished it were equally evident that he still distinguished her by the same affection which once she had felt no doubt of inspiring; but hitherto the continuance of his preference seemed very uncertain; and the reservedness of his manner towards her contradicted one moment what a more animated look had intimated the preceding one. he joined her and marianne in the breakfast-room the next morning before the others were down; and marianne, who was always eager to promote their happiness as far as she could, soon left them to themselves. but before she was half way upstairs she heard the parlour door open, and, turning round, was astonished to see edward himself come out. "i am going into the village to see my horses," said he, "as you are not yet ready for breakfast; i shall be back again presently." * * * * * edward returned to them with fresh admiration of the surrounding country; in his walk to the village, he had seen many parts of the valley to advantage; and the village itself, in a much higher situation than the cottage, afforded a general view of the whole, which had exceedingly pleased him. this was a subject which ensured marianne's attention, and she was beginning to describe her own admiration of these scenes, and to question him more minutely on the objects that had particularly struck him, when edward interrupted her by saying, "you must not enquire too far, marianne: remember i have no knowledge in the picturesque, and i shall offend you by my ignorance and want of taste if we come to particulars. i shall call hills steep, which ought to be bold; surfaces strange and uncouth, which ought to be irregular and rugged; and distant objects out of sight, which ought only to be indistinct through the soft medium of a hazy atmosphere. you must be satisfied with such admiration as i can honestly give. i call it a very fine country,--the hills are steep, the woods seem full of fine timber, and the valley looks comfortable and snug,--with rich meadows and several neat farm houses scattered here and there. it exactly answers my idea of a fine country, because it unites beauty with utility--and i dare say it is a picturesque one too, because you admire it; i can easily believe it to be full of rocks and promontories, grey moss and brush wood, but these are all lost on me. i know nothing of the picturesque." "i am afraid it is but too true," said marianne; "but why should you boast of it?" "i suspect," said elinor, "that to avoid one kind of affectation, edward here falls into another. because he believes many people pretend to more admiration of the beauties of nature than they really feel, and is disgusted with such pretensions, he affects greater indifference and less discrimination in viewing them himself than he possesses. he is fastidious and will have an affectation of his own." "it is very true," said marianne, "that admiration of landscape scenery is become a mere jargon. every body pretends to feel and tries to describe with the taste and elegance of him who first defined what picturesque beauty was. i detest jargon of every kind, and sometimes i have kept my feelings to myself, because i could find no language to describe them in but what was worn and hackneyed out of all sense and meaning." "i am convinced," said edward, "that you really feel all the delight in a fine prospect which you profess to feel. but, in return, your sister must allow me to feel no more than i profess. i like a fine prospect, but not on picturesque principles. i do not like crooked, twisted, blasted trees. i admire them much more if they are tall, straight, and flourishing. i do not like ruined, tattered cottages. i am not fond of nettles or thistles, or heath blossoms. i have more pleasure in a snug farm-house than a watch-tower,--and a troop of tidy, happy villages please me better than the finest banditti in the world." marianne looked with amazement at edward, with compassion at her sister. elinor only laughed. the subject was continued no farther; and marianne remained thoughtfully silent, till a new object suddenly engaged her attention. she was sitting by edward, and in taking his tea from mrs. dashwood, his hand passed so directly before her, as to make a ring, with a plait of hair in the centre, very conspicuous on one of his fingers. "i never saw you wear a ring before, edward," she cried. "is that fanny's hair? i remember her promising to give you some. but i should have thought her hair had been darker." marianne spoke inconsiderately what she really felt; but when she saw how much she had pained edward, her own vexation at her want of thought could not be surpassed by his. he coloured very deeply, and giving a momentary glance at elinor, replied, "yes; it is my sister's hair. the setting always casts a different shade on it, you know." elinor had met his eye, and looked conscious likewise. that the hair was her own, she instantaneously felt as well satisfied as marianne; the only difference in their conclusions was, that what marianne considered as a free gift from her sister, elinor was conscious must have been procured by some theft or contrivance unknown to herself. she was not in a humour, however, to regard it as an affront, and affecting to take no notice of what passed, by instantly talking of something else, she internally resolved henceforward to catch every opportunity of eyeing the hair and of satisfying herself, beyond all doubt, that it was exactly the shade of her own. edward's embarrassment lasted some time, and it ended in an absence of mind still more settled. he was particularly grave the whole morning. marianne severely censured herself for what she had said; but her own forgiveness might have been more speedy, had she known how little offence it had given her sister. before the middle of the day, they were visited by sir john and mrs. jennings, who, having heard of the arrival of a gentleman at the cottage, came to take a survey of the guest. with the assistance of his mother-in-law, sir john was not long in discovering that the name of ferrars began with an f. and this prepared a future mine of raillery against the devoted elinor, which nothing but the newness of their acquaintance with edward could have prevented from being immediately sprung. but, as it was, she only learned, from some very significant looks, how far their penetration, founded on margaret's instructions, extended. sir john never came to the dashwoods without either inviting them to dine at the park the next day, or to drink tea with them that evening. on the present occasion, for the better entertainment of their visitor, towards whose amusement he felt himself bound to contribute, he wished to engage them for both. "you _must_ drink tea with us to night," said he, "for we shall be quite alone; and tomorrow you must absolutely dine with us, for we shall be a large party." mrs. jennings enforced the necessity. "and who knows but you may raise a dance," said she. "and that will tempt _you_, miss marianne." "a dance!" cried marianne. "impossible! who is to dance?" [illustration: _came to take a survey of the guest._] "who? why yourselves, and the careys, and whitakers to be sure. what! you thought nobody could dance because a certain person that shall be nameless is gone!" "i wish with all my soul," cried sir john, "that willoughby were among us again." this, and marianne's blushing, gave new suspicions to edward. "and who is willoughby?" said he, in a low voice, to miss dashwood, by whom he was sitting. she gave him a brief reply. marianne's countenance was more communicative. edward saw enough to comprehend, not only the meaning of others, but such of marianne's expressions as had puzzled him before; and when their visitors left them, he went immediately round her, and said, in a whisper, "i have been guessing. shall i tell you my guess?" "what do you mean?" "shall i tell you." "certainly." "well then; i guess that mr. willoughby hunts." marianne was surprised and confused, yet she could not help smiling at the quiet archness of his manner, and after a moment's silence, said-"oh, edward! how can you?--but the time will come i hope--i am sure you will like him." "i do not doubt it," replied he, rather astonished at her earnestness and warmth; for had he not imagined it to be a joke for the good of her acquaintance in general, founded only on a something or a nothing between mr. willoughby and herself, he would not have ventured to mention it. chapter xix edward remained a week at the cottage; he was earnestly pressed by mrs. dashwood to stay longer; but, as if he were bent only on self-mortification, he seemed resolved to be gone when his enjoyment among his friends was at the height. his spirits, during the last two or three days, though still very unequal, were greatly improved--he grew more and more partial to the house and environs--never spoke of going away without a sigh--declared his time to be wholly disengaged--even doubted to what place he should go when he left them--but still, go he must. never had any week passed so quickly--he could hardly believe it to be gone. he said so repeatedly; other things he said too, which marked the turn of his feelings and gave the lie to his actions. he had no pleasure at norland; he detested being in town; but either to norland or london, he must go. he valued their kindness beyond any thing, and his greatest happiness was in being with them. yet, he must leave them at the end of a week, in spite of their wishes and his own, and without any restraint on his time. elinor placed all that was astonishing in this way of acting to his mother's account; and it was happy for her that he had a mother whose character was so imperfectly known to her, as to be the general excuse for every thing strange on the part of her son. disappointed, however, and vexed as she was, and sometimes displeased with his uncertain behaviour to herself, she was very well disposed on the whole to regard his actions with all the candid allowances and generous qualifications, which had been rather more painfully extorted from her, for willoughby's service, by her mother. his want of spirits, of openness, and of consistency, were most usually attributed to his want of independence, and his better knowledge of mrs. ferrars's disposition and designs. the shortness of his visit, the steadiness of his purpose in leaving them, originated in the same fettered inclination, the same inevitable necessity of temporizing with his mother. the old well-established grievance of duty against will, parent against child, was the cause of all. she would have been glad to know when these difficulties were to cease, this opposition was to yield, when mrs. ferrars would be reformed, and her son be at liberty to be happy. but from such vain wishes she was forced to turn for comfort to the renewal of her confidence in edward's affection, to the remembrance of every mark of regard in look or word which fell from him while at barton, and above all to that flattering proof of it which he constantly wore round his finger. "i think, edward," said mrs. dashwood, as they were at breakfast the last morning, "you would be a happier man if you had any profession to engage your time and give an interest to your plans and actions. some inconvenience to your friends, indeed, might result from it--you would not be able to give them so much of your time. but (with a smile) you would be materially benefited in one particular at least--you would know where to go when you left them." "i do assure you," he replied, "that i have long thought on this point, as you think now. it has been, and is, and probably will always be a heavy misfortune to me, that i have had no necessary business to engage me, no profession to give me employment, or afford me any thing like independence. but unfortunately my own nicety, and the nicety of my friends, have made me what i am, an idle, helpless being. we never could agree in our choice of a profession. i always preferred the church, as i still do. but that was not smart enough for my family. they recommended the army. that was a great deal too smart for me. the law was allowed to be genteel enough; many young men, who had chambers in the temple, made a very good appearance in the first circles, and drove about town in very knowing gigs. but i had no inclination for the law, even in this less abstruse study of it, which my family approved. as for the navy, it had fashion on its side, but i was too old when the subject was first started to enter it; and, at length, as there was no necessity for my having any profession at all, as i might be as dashing and expensive without a red coat on my back as with one, idleness was pronounced on the whole to be most advantageous and honourable, and a young man of eighteen is not in general so earnestly bent on being busy as to resist the solicitations of his friends to do nothing. i was therefore entered at oxford and have been properly idle ever since." "the consequence of which, i suppose, will be," said mrs. dashwood, "since leisure has not promoted your own happiness, that your sons will be brought up to as many pursuits, employments, professions, and trades as columella's." "they will be brought up," said he, in a serious accent, "to be as unlike myself as is possible. in feeling, in action, in condition, in every thing." "come, come; this is all an effusion of immediate want of spirits, edward. you are in a melancholy humour, and fancy that any one unlike yourself must be happy. but remember that the pain of parting from friends will be felt by every body at times, whatever be their education or state. know your own happiness. you want nothing but patience--or give it a more fascinating name, call it hope. your mother will secure to you, in time, that independence you are so anxious for; it is her duty, and it will, it must ere long become her happiness to prevent your whole youth from being wasted in discontent. how much may not a few months do?" "i think," replied edward, "that i may defy many months to produce any good to me." this desponding turn of mind, though it could not be communicated to mrs. dashwood, gave additional pain to them all in the parting, which shortly took place, and left an uncomfortable impression on elinor's feelings especially, which required some trouble and time to subdue. but as it was her determination to subdue it, and to prevent herself from appearing to suffer more than what all her family suffered on his going away, she did not adopt the method so judiciously employed by marianne, on a similar occasion, to augment and fix her sorrow, by seeking silence, solitude and idleness. their means were as different as their objects, and equally suited to the advancement of each. elinor sat down to her drawing-table as soon as he was out of the house, busily employed herself the whole day, neither sought nor avoided the mention of his name, appeared to interest herself almost as much as ever in the general concerns of the family, and if, by this conduct, she did not lessen her own grief, it was at least prevented from unnecessary increase, and her mother and sisters were spared much solicitude on her account. such behaviour as this, so exactly the reverse of her own, appeared no more meritorious to marianne, than her own had seemed faulty to her. the business of self-command she settled very easily;--with strong affections it was impossible, with calm ones it could have no merit. that her sister's affections _were_ calm, she dared not deny, though she blushed to acknowledge it; and of the strength of her own, she gave a very striking proof, by still loving and respecting that sister, in spite of this mortifying conviction. without shutting herself up from her family, or leaving the house in determined solitude to avoid them, or lying awake the whole night to indulge meditation, elinor found every day afforded her leisure enough to think of edward, and of edward's behaviour, in every possible variety which the different state of her spirits at different times could produce,--with tenderness, pity, approbation, censure, and doubt. there were moments in abundance, when, if not by the absence of her mother and sisters, at least by the nature of their employments, conversation was forbidden among them, and every effect of solitude was produced. her mind was inevitably at liberty; her thoughts could not be chained elsewhere; and the past and the future, on a subject so interesting, must be before her, must force her attention, and engross her memory, her reflection, and her fancy. from a reverie of this kind, as she sat at her drawing-table, she was roused one morning, soon after edward's leaving them, by the arrival of company. she happened to be quite alone. the closing of the little gate, at the entrance of the green court in front of the house, drew her eyes to the window, and she saw a large party walking up to the door. amongst them were sir john and lady middleton and mrs. jennings, but there were two others, a gentleman and lady, who were quite unknown to her. she was sitting near the window, and as soon as sir john perceived her, he left the rest of the party to the ceremony of knocking at the door, and stepping across the turf, obliged her to open the casement to speak to him, though the space was so short between the door and the window, as to make it hardly possible to speak at one without being heard at the other. "well," said he, "we have brought you some strangers. how do you like them?" "hush! they will hear you." "never mind if they do. it is only the palmers. charlotte is very pretty, i can tell you. you may see her if you look this way." as elinor was certain of seeing her in a couple of minutes, without taking that liberty, she begged to be excused. "where is marianne? has she run away because we are come? i see her instrument is open." "she is walking, i believe." they were now joined by mrs. jennings, who had not patience enough to wait till the door was opened before she told _her_ story. she came hallooing to the window, "how do you do, my dear? how does mrs. dashwood do? and where are your sisters? what! all alone! you will be glad of a little company to sit with you. i have brought my other son and daughter to see you. only think of their coming so suddenly! i thought i heard a carriage last night, while we were drinking our tea, but it never entered my head that it could be them. i thought of nothing but whether it might not be colonel brandon come back again; so i said to sir john, i do think i hear a carriage; perhaps it is colonel brandon come back again--" elinor was obliged to turn from her, in the middle of her story, to receive the rest of the party; lady middleton introduced the two strangers; mrs. dashwood and margaret came down stairs at the same time, and they all sat down to look at one another, while mrs. jennings continued her story as she walked through the passage into the parlour, attended by sir john. mrs. palmer was several years younger than lady middleton, and totally unlike her in every respect. she was short and plump, had a very pretty face, and the finest expression of good humour in it that could possibly be. her manners were by no means so elegant as her sister's, but they were much more prepossessing. she came in with a smile, smiled all the time of her visit, except when she laughed, and smiled when she went away. her husband was a grave looking young man of five or six and twenty, with an air of more fashion and sense than his wife, but of less willingness to please or be pleased. he entered the room with a look of self-consequence, slightly bowed to the ladies, without speaking a word, and, after briefly surveying them and their apartments, took up a newspaper from the table, and continued to read it as long as he stayed. mrs. palmer, on the contrary, who was strongly endowed by nature with a turn for being uniformly civil and happy, was hardly seated before her admiration of the parlour and every thing in it burst forth. "well! what a delightful room this is! i never saw anything so charming! only think, mamma, how it is improved since i was here last! i always thought it such a sweet place, ma'am! (turning to mrs. dashwood) but you have made it so charming! only look, sister, how delightful every thing is! how i should like such a house for myself! should not you, mr. palmer?" mr. palmer made her no answer, and did not even raise his eyes from the newspaper. "mr. palmer does not hear me," said she, laughing; "he never does sometimes. it is so ridiculous!" this was quite a new idea to mrs. dashwood; she had never been used to find wit in the inattention of any one, and could not help looking with surprise at them both. mrs. jennings, in the meantime, talked on as loud as she could, and continued her account of their surprise, the evening before, on seeing their friends, without ceasing till every thing was told. mrs. palmer laughed heartily at the recollection of their astonishment, and every body agreed, two or three times over, that it had been quite an agreeable surprise. "you may believe how glad we all were to see them," added mrs. jennings, leaning forward towards elinor, and speaking in a low voice as if she meant to be heard by no one else, though they were seated on different sides of the room; "but, however, i can't help wishing they had not travelled quite so fast, nor made such a long journey of it, for they came all round by london upon account of some business, for you know (nodding significantly and pointing to her daughter) it was wrong in her situation. i wanted her to stay at home and rest this morning, but she would come with us; she longed so much to see you all!" mrs. palmer laughed, and said it would not do her any harm. "she expects to be confined in february," continued mrs. jennings. lady middleton could no longer endure such a conversation, and therefore exerted herself to ask mr. palmer if there was any news in the paper. "no, none at all," he replied, and read on. "here comes marianne," cried sir john. "now, palmer, you shall see a monstrous pretty girl." he immediately went into the passage, opened the front door, and ushered her in himself. mrs. jennings asked her, as soon as she appeared, if she had not been to allenham; and mrs. palmer laughed so heartily at the question, as to show she understood it. mr. palmer looked up on her entering the room, stared at her some minutes, and then returned to his newspaper. mrs. palmer's eye was now caught by the drawings which hung round the room. she got up to examine them. [illustration: "_i declare they are quite charming_."] "oh! dear, how beautiful these are! well! how delightful! do but look, mama, how sweet! i declare they are quite charming; i could look at them for ever." and then sitting down again, she very soon forgot that there were any such things in the room. when lady middleton rose to go away, mr. palmer rose also, laid down the newspaper, stretched himself and looked at them all around. "my love, have you been asleep?" said his wife, laughing. he made her no answer; and only observed, after again examining the room, that it was very low pitched, and that the ceiling was crooked. he then made his bow, and departed with the rest. sir john had been very urgent with them all to spend the next day at the park. mrs. dashwood, who did not choose to dine with them oftener than they dined at the cottage, absolutely refused on her own account; her daughters might do as they pleased. but they had no curiosity to see how mr. and mrs. palmer ate their dinner, and no expectation of pleasure from them in any other way. they attempted, therefore, likewise, to excuse themselves; the weather was uncertain, and not likely to be good. but sir john would not be satisfied--the carriage should be sent for them and they must come. lady middleton too, though she did not press their mother, pressed them. mrs. jennings and mrs. palmer joined their entreaties, all seemed equally anxious to avoid a family party; and the young ladies were obliged to yield. "why should they ask us?" said marianne, as soon as they were gone. "the rent of this cottage is said to be low; but we have it on very hard terms, if we are to dine at the park whenever any one is staying either with them, or with us." "they mean no less to be civil and kind to us now," said elinor, "by these frequent invitations, than by those which we received from them a few weeks ago. the alteration is not in them, if their parties are grown tedious and dull. we must look for the change elsewhere." chapter xx as the miss dashwoods entered the drawing-room of the park the next day, at one door, mrs. palmer came running in at the other, looking as good humoured and merry as before. she took them all most affectionately by the hand, and expressed great delight in seeing them again. "i am so glad to see you!" said she, seating herself between elinor and marianne, "for it is so bad a day i was afraid you might not come, which would be a shocking thing, as we go away again tomorrow. we must go, for the westons come to us next week you know. it was quite a sudden thing our coming at all, and i knew nothing of it till the carriage was coming to the door, and then mr. palmer asked me if i would go with him to barton. he is so droll! he never tells me any thing! i am so sorry we cannot stay longer; however we shall meet again in town very soon, i hope." they were obliged to put an end to such an expectation. "not go to town!" cried mrs. palmer, with a laugh, "i shall be quite disappointed if you do not. i could get the nicest house in world for you, next door to ours, in hanover-square. you must come, indeed. i am sure i shall be very happy to chaperon you at any time till i am confined, if mrs. dashwood should not like to go into public." they thanked her; but were obliged to resist all her entreaties. "oh, my love," cried mrs. palmer to her husband, who just then entered the room--"you must help me to persuade the miss dashwoods to go to town this winter." her love made no answer; and after slightly bowing to the ladies, began complaining of the weather. "how horrid all this is!" said he. "such weather makes every thing and every body disgusting. dullness is as much produced within doors as without, by rain. it makes one detest all one's acquaintance. what the devil does sir john mean by not having a billiard room in his house? how few people know what comfort is! sir john is as stupid as the weather." the rest of the company soon dropt in. "i am afraid, miss marianne," said sir john, "you have not been able to take your usual walk to allenham today." marianne looked very grave and said nothing. "oh, don't be so sly before us," said mrs. palmer; "for we know all about it, i assure you; and i admire your taste very much, for i think he is extremely handsome. we do not live a great way from him in the country, you know. not above ten miles, i dare say." "much nearer thirty," said her husband. "ah, well! there is not much difference. i never was at his house; but they say it is a sweet pretty place." "as vile a spot as i ever saw in my life," said mr. palmer. marianne remained perfectly silent, though her countenance betrayed her interest in what was said. "is it very ugly?" continued mrs. palmer--"then it must be some other place that is so pretty i suppose." when they were seated in the dining room, sir john observed with regret that they were only eight all together. "my dear," said he to his lady, "it is very provoking that we should be so few. why did not you ask the gilberts to come to us today?" "did not i tell you, sir john, when you spoke to me about it before, that it could not be done? they dined with us last." "you and i, sir john," said mrs. jennings, "should not stand upon such ceremony." "then you would be very ill-bred," cried mr. palmer. "my love you contradict every body," said his wife with her usual laugh. "do you know that you are quite rude?" "i did not know i contradicted any body in calling your mother ill-bred." "ay, you may abuse me as you please," said the good-natured old lady, "you have taken charlotte off my hands, and cannot give her back again. so there i have the whip hand of you." charlotte laughed heartily to think that her husband could not get rid of her; and exultingly said, she did not care how cross he was to her, as they must live together. it was impossible for any one to be more thoroughly good-natured, or more determined to be happy than mrs. palmer. the studied indifference, insolence, and discontent of her husband gave her no pain; and when he scolded or abused her, she was highly diverted. "mr. palmer is so droll!" said she, in a whisper, to elinor. "he is always out of humour." elinor was not inclined, after a little observation, to give him credit for being so genuinely and unaffectedly ill-natured or ill-bred as he wished to appear. his temper might perhaps be a little soured by finding, like many others of his sex, that through some unaccountable bias in favour of beauty, he was the husband of a very silly woman,--but she knew that this kind of blunder was too common for any sensible man to be lastingly hurt by it. it was rather a wish of distinction, she believed, which produced his contemptuous treatment of every body, and his general abuse of every thing before him. it was the desire of appearing superior to other people. the motive was too common to be wondered at; but the means, however they might succeed by establishing his superiority in ill-breeding, were not likely to attach any one to him except his wife. "oh, my dear miss dashwood," said mrs. palmer soon afterwards, "i have got such a favour to ask of you and your sister. will you come and spend some time at cleveland this christmas? now, pray do,--and come while the westons are with us. you cannot think how happy i shall be! it will be quite delightful!--my love," applying to her husband, "don't you long to have the miss dashwoods come to cleveland?" "certainly," he replied, with a sneer--"i came into devonshire with no other view." "there now,"--said his lady, "you see mr. palmer expects you; so you cannot refuse to come." they both eagerly and resolutely declined her invitation. "but indeed you must and shall come. i am sure you will like it of all things. the westons will be with us, and it will be quite delightful. you cannot think what a sweet place cleveland is; and we are so gay now, for mr. palmer is always going about the country canvassing against the election; and so many people came to dine with us that i never saw before, it is quite charming! but, poor fellow! it is very fatiguing to him! for he is forced to make every body like him." elinor could hardly keep her countenance as she assented to the hardship of such an obligation. "how charming it will be," said charlotte, "when he is in parliament!--won't it? how i shall laugh! it will be so ridiculous to see all his letters directed to him with an m.p. but do you know, he says, he will never frank for me? he declares he won't. don't you, mr. palmer?" mr. palmer took no notice of her. "he cannot bear writing, you know," she continued; "he says it is quite shocking." "no," said he, "i never said any thing so irrational. don't palm all your abuses of languages upon me." "there now; you see how droll he is. this is always the way with him! sometimes he won't speak to me for half a day together, and then he comes out with something so droll--all about any thing in the world." she surprised elinor very much as they returned into the drawing-room, by asking her whether she did not like mr. palmer excessively. "certainly," said elinor; "he seems very agreeable." "well--i am so glad you do. i thought you would, he is so pleasant; and mr. palmer is excessively pleased with you and your sisters i can tell you, and you can't think how disappointed he will be if you don't come to cleveland. i can't imagine why you should object to it." elinor was again obliged to decline her invitation; and by changing the subject, put a stop to her entreaties. she thought it probable that as they lived in the same county, mrs. palmer might be able to give some more particular account of willoughby's general character, than could be gathered from the middletons' partial acquaintance with him; and she was eager to gain from any one, such a confirmation of his merits as might remove the possibility of fear from marianne. she began by inquiring if they saw much of mr. willoughby at cleveland, and whether they were intimately acquainted with him. "oh dear, yes; i know him extremely well," replied mrs. palmer;--"not that i ever spoke to him, indeed; but i have seen him for ever in town. somehow or other i never happened to be staying at barton while he was at allenham. mama saw him here once before, but i was with my uncle at weymouth. however, i dare say we should have seen a great deal of him in somersetshire, if it had not happened very unluckily that we should never have been in the country together. he is very little at combe, i believe; but if he were ever so much there, i do not think mr. palmer would visit him, for he is in the opposition, you know, and besides it is such a way off. i know why you inquire about him, very well; your sister is to marry him. i am monstrous glad of it, for then i shall have her for a neighbour you know." "upon my word," replied elinor, "you know much more of the matter than i do, if you have any reason to expect such a match." "don't pretend to deny it, because you know it is what every body talks of. i assure you i heard of it in my way through town." "my dear mrs. palmer!" "upon my honour i did. i met colonel brandon monday morning in bond-street, just before we left town, and he told me of it directly." "you surprise me very much. colonel brandon tell you of it! surely you must be mistaken. to give such intelligence to a person who could not be interested in it, even if it were true, is not what i should expect colonel brandon to do." "but i do assure you it was so, for all that, and i will tell you how it happened. when we met him, he turned back and walked with us; and so we began talking of my brother and sister, and one thing and another, and i said to him, 'so, colonel, there is a new family come to barton cottage, i hear, and mama sends me word they are very pretty, and that one of them is going to be married to mr. willoughby of combe magna. is it true, pray? for of course you must know, as you have been in devonshire so lately.'" "and what did the colonel say?" "oh--he did not say much; but he looked as if he knew it to be true, so from that moment i set it down as certain. it will be quite delightful, i declare! when is it to take place?" "mr. brandon was very well i hope?" "oh! yes, quite well; and so full of your praises, he did nothing but say fine things of you." "i am flattered by his commendation. he seems an excellent man; and i think him uncommonly pleasing." "so do i. he is such a charming man, that it is quite a pity he should be so grave and so dull. mamma says _he_ was in love with your sister too. i assure you it was a great compliment if he was, for he hardly ever falls in love with any body." "is mr. willoughby much known in your part of somersetshire?" said elinor. "oh! yes, extremely well; that is, i do not believe many people are acquainted with him, because combe magna is so far off; but they all think him extremely agreeable i assure you. nobody is more liked than mr. willoughby wherever he goes, and so you may tell your sister. she is a monstrous lucky girl to get him, upon my honour; not but that he is much more lucky in getting her, because she is so very handsome and agreeable, that nothing can be good enough for her. however, i don't think her hardly at all handsomer than you, i assure you; for i think you both excessively pretty, and so does mr. palmer too i am sure, though we could not get him to own it last night." mrs. palmer's information respecting willoughby was not very material; but any testimony in his favour, however small, was pleasing to her. "i am so glad we are got acquainted at last," continued charlotte. "and now i hope we shall always be great friends. you can't think how much i longed to see you! it is so delightful that you should live at the cottage! nothing can be like it, to be sure! and i am so glad your sister is going to be well married! i hope you will be a great deal at combe magna. it is a sweet place, by all accounts." "you have been long acquainted with colonel brandon, have not you?" "yes, a great while; ever since my sister married. he was a particular friend of sir john's. i believe," she added in a low voice, "he would have been very glad to have had me, if he could. sir john and lady middleton wished it very much. but mama did not think the match good enough for me, otherwise sir john would have mentioned it to the colonel, and we should have been married immediately." "did not colonel brandon know of sir john's proposal to your mother before it was made? had he never owned his affection to yourself?" "oh, no; but if mama had not objected to it, i dare say he would have liked it of all things. he had not seen me then above twice, for it was before i left school. however, i am much happier as i am. mr. palmer is the kind of man i like." chapter xxi the palmers returned to cleveland the next day, and the two families at barton were again left to entertain each other. but this did not last long; elinor had hardly got their last visitors out of her head, had hardly done wondering at charlotte's being so happy without a cause, at mr. palmer's acting so simply, with good abilities, and at the strange unsuitableness which often existed between husband and wife, before sir john's and mrs. jennings's active zeal in the cause of society, procured her some other new acquaintance to see and observe. in a morning's excursion to exeter, they had met with two young ladies, whom mrs. jennings had the satisfaction of discovering to be her relations, and this was enough for sir john to invite them directly to the park, as soon as their present engagements at exeter were over. their engagements at exeter instantly gave way before such an invitation, and lady middleton was thrown into no little alarm on the return of sir john, by hearing that she was very soon to receive a visit from two girls whom she had never seen in her life, and of whose elegance--whose tolerable gentility even--she could have no proof; for the assurances of her husband and mother on that subject went for nothing at all. their being her relations too made it so much the worse; and mrs. jennings's attempts at consolation were therefore unfortunately founded, when she advised her daughter not to care about their being so fashionable; because they were all cousins and must put up with one another. as it was impossible, however, now to prevent their coming, lady middleton resigned herself to the idea of it, with all the philosophy of a well-bred woman, contenting herself with merely giving her husband a gentle reprimand on the subject five or six times every day. the young ladies arrived: their appearance was by no means ungenteel or unfashionable. their dress was very smart, their manners very civil, they were delighted with the house, and in raptures with the furniture, and they happened to be so doatingly fond of children that lady middleton's good opinion was engaged in their favour before they had been an hour at the park. she declared them to be very agreeable girls indeed, which for her ladyship was enthusiastic admiration. sir john's confidence in his own judgment rose with this animated praise, and he set off directly for the cottage to tell the miss dashwoods of the miss steeles' arrival, and to assure them of their being the sweetest girls in the world. from such commendation as this, however, there was not much to be learned; elinor well knew that the sweetest girls in the world were to be met with in every part of england, under every possible variation of form, face, temper and understanding. sir john wanted the whole family to walk to the park directly and look at his guests. benevolent, philanthropic man! it was painful to him even to keep a third cousin to himself. "do come now," said he--"pray come--you must come--i declare you shall come--you can't think how you will like them. lucy is monstrous pretty, and so good humoured and agreeable! the children are all hanging about her already, as if she was an old acquaintance. and they both long to see you of all things, for they have heard at exeter that you are the most beautiful creatures in the world; and i have told them it is all very true, and a great deal more. you will be delighted with them i am sure. they have brought the whole coach full of playthings for the children. how can you be so cross as not to come? why they are your cousins, you know, after a fashion. _you_ are my cousins, and they are my wife's, so you must be related." but sir john could not prevail. he could only obtain a promise of their calling at the park within a day or two, and then left them in amazement at their indifference, to walk home and boast anew of their attractions to the miss steeles, as he had been already boasting of the miss steeles to them. when their promised visit to the park and consequent introduction to these young ladies took place, they found in the appearance of the eldest, who was nearly thirty, with a very plain and not a sensible face, nothing to admire; but in the other, who was not more than two or three and twenty, they acknowledged considerable beauty; her features were pretty, and she had a sharp quick eye, and a smartness of air, which though it did not give actual elegance or grace, gave distinction to her person. their manners were particularly civil, and elinor soon allowed them credit for some kind of sense, when she saw with what constant and judicious attention they were making themselves agreeable to lady middleton. with her children they were in continual raptures, extolling their beauty, courting their notice, and humouring their whims; and such of their time as could be spared from the importunate demands which this politeness made on it, was spent in admiration of whatever her ladyship was doing, if she happened to be doing any thing, or in taking patterns of some elegant new dress, in which her appearance the day before had thrown them into unceasing delight. fortunately for those who pay their court through such foibles, a fond mother, though, in pursuit of praise for her children, the most rapacious of human beings, is likewise the most credulous; her demands are exorbitant; but she will swallow any thing; and the excessive affection and endurance of the miss steeles towards her offspring were viewed therefore by lady middleton without the smallest surprise or distrust. she saw with maternal complacency all the impertinent encroachments and mischievous tricks to which her cousins submitted. she saw their sashes untied, their hair pulled about their ears, their work-bags searched, and their knives and scissors stolen away, and felt no doubt of its being a reciprocal enjoyment. it suggested no other surprise than that elinor and marianne should sit so composedly by, without claiming a share in what was passing. "john is in such spirits today!" said she, on his taking miss steele's pocket handkerchief, and throwing it out of window--"he is full of monkey tricks." and soon afterwards, on the second boy's violently pinching one of the same lady's fingers, she fondly observed, "how playful william is!" [illustration: _mischievous tricks._] "and here is my sweet little annamaria," she added, tenderly caressing a little girl of three years old, who had not made a noise for the last two minutes; "and she is always so gentle and quiet--never was there such a quiet little thing!" but unfortunately in bestowing these embraces, a pin in her ladyship's head dress slightly scratching the child's neck, produced from this pattern of gentleness such violent screams, as could hardly be outdone by any creature professedly noisy. the mother's consternation was excessive; but it could not surpass the alarm of the miss steeles, and every thing was done by all three, in so critical an emergency, which affection could suggest as likely to assuage the agonies of the little sufferer. she was seated in her mother's lap, covered with kisses, her wound bathed with lavender-water, by one of the miss steeles, who was on her knees to attend her, and her mouth stuffed with sugar plums by the other. with such a reward for her tears, the child was too wise to cease crying. she still screamed and sobbed lustily, kicked her two brothers for offering to touch her, and all their united soothings were ineffectual till lady middleton luckily remembering that in a scene of similar distress last week, some apricot marmalade had been successfully applied for a bruised temple, the same remedy was eagerly proposed for this unfortunate scratch, and a slight intermission of screams in the young lady on hearing it, gave them reason to hope that it would not be rejected. she was carried out of the room therefore in her mother's arms, in quest of this medicine, and as the two boys chose to follow, though earnestly entreated by their mother to stay behind, the four young ladies were left in a quietness which the room had not known for many hours. "poor little creatures!" said miss steele, as soon as they were gone. "it might have been a very sad accident." "yet i hardly know how," cried marianne, "unless it had been under totally different circumstances. but this is the usual way of heightening alarm, where there is nothing to be alarmed at in reality." "what a sweet woman lady middleton is!" said lucy steele. marianne was silent; it was impossible for her to say what she did not feel, however trivial the occasion; and upon elinor therefore the whole task of telling lies when politeness required it, always fell. she did her best when thus called on, by speaking of lady middleton with more warmth than she felt, though with far less than miss lucy. "and sir john too," cried the elder sister, "what a charming man he is!" here too, miss dashwood's commendation, being only simple and just, came in without any éclat. she merely observed that he was perfectly good humoured and friendly. "and what a charming little family they have! i never saw such fine children in my life. i declare i quite doat upon them already, and indeed i am always distractedly fond of children." "i should guess so," said elinor, with a smile, "from what i have witnessed this morning." "i have a notion," said lucy, "you think the little middletons rather too much indulged; perhaps they may be the outside of enough; but it is so natural in lady middleton; and for my part, i love to see children full of life and spirits; i cannot bear them if they are tame and quiet." "i confess," replied elinor, "that while i am at barton park, i never think of tame and quiet children with any abhorrence." a short pause succeeded this speech, which was first broken by miss steele, who seemed very much disposed for conversation, and who now said rather abruptly, "and how do you like devonshire, miss dashwood? i suppose you were very sorry to leave sussex." in some surprise at the familiarity of this question, or at least of the manner in which it was spoken, elinor replied that she was. "norland is a prodigious beautiful place, is not it?" added miss steele. "we have heard sir john admire it excessively," said lucy, who seemed to think some apology necessary for the freedom of her sister. "i think every one _must_ admire it," replied elinor, "who ever saw the place; though it is not to be supposed that any one can estimate its beauties as we do." "and had you a great many smart beaux there? i suppose you have not so many in this part of the world; for my part, i think they are a vast addition always." "but why should you think," said lucy, looking ashamed of her sister, "that there are not as many genteel young men in devonshire as sussex?" "nay, my dear, i'm sure i don't pretend to say that there an't. i'm sure there's a vast many smart beaux in exeter; but you know, how could i tell what smart beaux there might be about norland; and i was only afraid the miss dashwoods might find it dull at barton, if they had not so many as they used to have. but perhaps you young ladies may not care about the beaux, and had as lief be without them as with them. for my part, i think they are vastly agreeable, provided they dress smart and behave civil. but i can't bear to see them dirty and nasty. now there's mr. rose at exeter, a prodigious smart young man, quite a beau, clerk to mr. simpson, you know, and yet if you do but meet him of a morning, he is not fit to be seen. i suppose your brother was quite a beau, miss dashwood, before he married, as he was so rich?" "upon my word," replied elinor, "i cannot tell you, for i do not perfectly comprehend the meaning of the word. but this i can say, that if he ever was a beau before he married, he is one still for there is not the smallest alteration in him." "oh! dear! one never thinks of married men's being beaux--they have something else to do." "lord! anne," cried her sister, "you can talk of nothing but beaux;--you will make miss dashwood believe you think of nothing else." and then to turn the discourse, she began admiring the house and the furniture. this specimen of the miss steeles was enough. the vulgar freedom and folly of the eldest left her no recommendation, and as elinor was not blinded by the beauty, or the shrewd look of the youngest, to her want of real elegance and artlessness, she left the house without any wish of knowing them better. not so the miss steeles. they came from exeter, well provided with admiration for the use of sir john middleton, his family, and all his relations, and no niggardly proportion was now dealt out to his fair cousins, whom they declared to be the most beautiful, elegant, accomplished, and agreeable girls they had ever beheld, and with whom they were particularly anxious to be better acquainted. and to be better acquainted therefore, elinor soon found was their inevitable lot, for as sir john was entirely on the side of the miss steeles, their party would be too strong for opposition, and that kind of intimacy must be submitted to, which consists of sitting an hour or two together in the same room almost every day. sir john could do no more; but he did not know that any more was required: to be together was, in his opinion, to be intimate, and while his continual schemes for their meeting were effectual, he had not a doubt of their being established friends. to do him justice, he did every thing in his power to promote their unreserve, by making the miss steeles acquainted with whatever he knew or supposed of his cousins' situations in the most delicate particulars,--and elinor had not seen them more than twice, before the eldest of them wished her joy on her sister's having been so lucky as to make a conquest of a very smart beau since she came to barton. "'twill be a fine thing to have her married so young to be sure," said she, "and i hear he is quite a beau, and prodigious handsome. and i hope you may have as good luck yourself soon,--but perhaps you may have a friend in the corner already." elinor could not suppose that sir john would be more nice in proclaiming his suspicions of her regard for edward, than he had been with respect to marianne; indeed it was rather his favourite joke of the two, as being somewhat newer and more conjectural; and since edward's visit, they had never dined together without his drinking to her best affections with so much significancy and so many nods and winks, as to excite general attention. the letter f had been likewise invariably brought forward, and found productive of such countless jokes, that its character as the wittiest letter in the alphabet had been long established with elinor. the miss steeles, as she expected, had now all the benefit of these jokes, and in the eldest of them they raised a curiosity to know the name of the gentleman alluded to, which, though often impertinently expressed, was perfectly of a piece with her general inquisitiveness into the concerns of their family. but sir john did not sport long with the curiosity which he delighted to raise, for he had at least as much pleasure in telling the name, as miss steele had in hearing it. "his name is ferrars," said he, in a very audible whisper; "but pray do not tell it, for it's a great secret." [illustration: _drinking to her best affections._] "ferrars!" repeated miss steele; "mr. ferrars is the happy man, is he? what! your sister-in-law's brother, miss dashwood? a very agreeable young man to be sure; i know him very well." "how can you say so, anne?" cried lucy, who generally made an amendment to all her sister's assertions. "though we have seen him once or twice at my uncle's, it is rather too much to pretend to know him very well." elinor heard all this with attention and surprise. "and who was this uncle? where did he live? how came they acquainted?" she wished very much to have the subject continued, though she did not choose to join in it herself; but nothing more of it was said, and for the first time in her life, she thought mrs. jennings deficient either in curiosity after petty information, or in a disposition to communicate it. the manner in which miss steele had spoken of edward, increased her curiosity; for it struck her as being rather ill-natured, and suggested the suspicion of that lady's knowing, or fancying herself to know something to his disadvantage. but her curiosity was unavailing, for no farther notice was taken of mr. ferrars's name by miss steele when alluded to, or even openly mentioned by sir john. chapter xxii marianne, who had never much toleration for any thing like impertinence, vulgarity, inferiority of parts, or even difference of taste from herself, was at this time particularly ill-disposed, from the state of her spirits, to be pleased with the miss steeles, or to encourage their advances; and to the invariable coldness of her behaviour towards them, which checked every endeavour at intimacy on their side, elinor principally attributed that preference of herself which soon became evident in the manners of both, but especially of lucy, who missed no opportunity of engaging her in conversation, or of striving to improve their acquaintance by an easy and frank communication of her sentiments. lucy was naturally clever; her remarks were often just and amusing; and as a companion for half an hour elinor frequently found her agreeable; but her powers had received no aid from education: she was ignorant and illiterate; and her deficiency of all mental improvement, her want of information in the most common particulars, could not be concealed from miss dashwood, in spite of her constant endeavour to appear to advantage. elinor saw, and pitied her for, the neglect of abilities which education might have rendered so respectable; but she saw, with less tenderness of feeling, the thorough want of delicacy, of rectitude, and integrity of mind, which her attentions, her assiduities, her flatteries at the park betrayed; and she could have no lasting satisfaction in the company of a person who joined insincerity with ignorance; whose want of instruction prevented their meeting in conversation on terms of equality, and whose conduct toward others made every show of attention and deference towards herself perfectly valueless. "you will think my question an odd one, i dare say," said lucy to her one day, as they were walking together from the park to the cottage--"but pray, are you personally acquainted with your sister-in-law's mother, mrs. ferrars?" elinor _did_ think the question a very odd one, and her countenance expressed it, as she answered that she had never seen mrs. ferrars. "indeed!" replied lucy; "i wonder at that, for i thought you must have seen her at norland sometimes. then, perhaps, you cannot tell me what sort of a woman she is?" "no," returned elinor, cautious of giving her real opinion of edward's mother, and not very desirous of satisfying what seemed impertinent curiosity; "i know nothing of her." "i am sure you think me very strange, for enquiring about her in such a way," said lucy, eyeing elinor attentively as she spoke; "but perhaps there may be reasons--i wish i might venture; but however i hope you will do me the justice of believing that i do not mean to be impertinent." elinor made her a civil reply, and they walked on for a few minutes in silence. it was broken by lucy, who renewed the subject again by saying, with some hesitation-"i cannot bear to have you think me impertinently curious. i am sure i would rather do any thing in the world than be thought so by a person whose good opinion is so well worth having as yours. and i am sure i should not have the smallest fear of trusting _you_; indeed, i should be very glad of your advice how to manage in such and uncomfortable situation as i am; but, however, there is no occasion to trouble _you._ i am sorry you do not happen to know mrs. ferrars." "i am sorry i do _not_," said elinor, in great astonishment, "if it could be of any use to _you_ to know my opinion of her. but really i never understood that you were at all connected with that family, and therefore i am a little surprised, i confess, at so serious an inquiry into her character." "i dare say you are, and i am sure i do not at all wonder at it. but if i dared tell you all, you would not be so much surprised. mrs. ferrars is certainly nothing to me at present--but the time _may_ come--how soon it will come must depend upon herself--when we may be very intimately connected." she looked down as she said this, amiably bashful, with only one side glance at her companion to observe its effect on her. "good heavens!" cried elinor, "what do you mean? are you acquainted with mr. robert ferrars? can you be?" and she did not feel much delighted with the idea of such a sister-in-law. "no," replied lucy, "not to mr. _robert_ ferrars--i never saw him in my life; but," fixing her eyes upon elinor, "to his eldest brother." what felt elinor at that moment? astonishment, that would have been as painful as it was strong, had not an immediate disbelief of the assertion attended it. she turned towards lucy in silent amazement, unable to divine the reason or object of such a declaration; and though her complexion varied, she stood firm in incredulity, and felt in no danger of an hysterical fit, or a swoon. "you may well be surprised," continued lucy; "for to be sure you could have had no idea of it before; for i dare say he never dropped the smallest hint of it to you or any of your family; because it was always meant to be a great secret, and i am sure has been faithfully kept so by me to this hour. not a soul of all my relations know of it but anne, and i never should have mentioned it to you, if i had not felt the greatest dependence in the world upon your secrecy; and i really thought my behaviour in asking so many questions about mrs. ferrars must seem so odd, that it ought to be explained. and i do not think mr. ferrars can be displeased, when he knows i have trusted you, because i know he has the highest opinion in the world of all your family, and looks upon yourself and the other miss dashwoods quite as his own sisters."--she paused. [illustration: _amiably bashful._] elinor for a few moments remained silent. her astonishment at what she heard was at first too great for words; but at length forcing herself to speak, and to speak cautiously, she said, with calmness of manner, which tolerably well concealed her surprise and solicitude--"may i ask if your engagement is of long standing?" "we have been engaged these four years." "four years!" "yes." elinor, though greatly shocked, still felt unable to believe it. "i did not know," said she, "that you were even acquainted till the other day." "our acquaintance, however, is of many years date. he was under my uncle's care, you know, a considerable while." "your uncle!" "yes; mr. pratt. did you never hear him talk of mr. pratt?" "i think i have," replied elinor, with an exertion of spirits, which increased with her increase of emotion. "he was four years with my uncle, who lives at longstaple, near plymouth. it was there our acquaintance begun, for my sister and me was often staying with my uncle, and it was there our engagement was formed, though not till a year after he had quitted as a pupil; but he was almost always with us afterwards. i was very unwilling to enter into it, as you may imagine, without the knowledge and approbation of his mother; but i was too young, and loved him too well, to be so prudent as i ought to have been. though you do not know him so well as me, miss dashwood, you must have seen enough of him to be sensible he is very capable of making a woman sincerely attached to him." "certainly," answered elinor, without knowing what she said; but after a moment's reflection, she added, with revived security of edward's honour and love, and her companion's falsehood--"engaged to mr. edward ferrars!--i confess myself so totally surprised at what you tell me, that really--i beg your pardon; but surely there must be some mistake of person or name. we cannot mean the same mr. ferrars." "we can mean no other," cried lucy, smiling. "mr. edward ferrars, the eldest son of mrs. ferrars, of park street, and brother of your sister-in-law, mrs. john dashwood, is the person i mean; you must allow that i am not likely to be deceived as to the name of the man on who all my happiness depends." "it is strange," replied elinor, in a most painful perplexity, "that i should never have heard him even mention your name." "no; considering our situation, it was not strange. our first care has been to keep the matter secret. you knew nothing of me, or my family, and, therefore, there could be no _occasion_ for ever mentioning my name to you; and, as he was always particularly afraid of his sister's suspecting any thing, _that_ was reason enough for his not mentioning it." she was silent. elinor's security sunk; but her self-command did not sink with it. "four years you have been engaged," said she with a firm voice. "yes; and heaven knows how much longer we may have to wait. poor edward! it puts him quite out of heart." then taking a small miniature from her pocket, she added, "to prevent the possibility of mistake, be so good as to look at this face. it does not do him justice, to be sure, but yet i think you cannot be deceived as to the person it was drew for. i have had it above these three years." she put it into her hands as she spoke; and when elinor saw the painting, whatever other doubts her fear of a too hasty decision, or her wish of detecting falsehood might suffer to linger in her mind, she could have none of its being edward's face. she returned it almost instantly, acknowledging the likeness. "i have never been able," continued lucy, "to give him my picture in return, which i am very much vexed at, for he has been always so anxious to get it! but i am determined to set for it the very first opportunity." "you are quite in the right," replied elinor calmly. they then proceeded a few paces in silence. lucy spoke first. "i am sure," said she, "i have no doubt in the world of your faithfully keeping this secret, because you must know of what importance it is to us, not to have it reach his mother; for she would never approve of it, i dare say. i shall have no fortune, and i fancy she is an exceeding proud woman." "i certainly did not seek your confidence," said elinor; "but you do me no more than justice in imagining that i may be depended on. your secret is safe with me; but pardon me if i express some surprise at so unnecessary a communication. you must at least have felt that my being acquainted with it could not add to its safety." as she said this, she looked earnestly at lucy, hoping to discover something in her countenance; perhaps the falsehood of the greatest part of what she had been saying; but lucy's countenance suffered no change. "i was afraid you would think i was taking a great liberty with you," said she, "in telling you all this. i have not known you long to be sure, personally at least, but i have known you and all your family by description a great while; and as soon as i saw you, i felt almost as if you was an old acquaintance. besides in the present case, i really thought some explanation was due to you after my making such particular inquiries about edward's mother; and i am so unfortunate, that i have not a creature whose advice i can ask. anne is the only person that knows of it, and she has no judgment at all; indeed, she does me a great deal more harm than good, for i am in constant fear of her betraying me. she does not know how to hold her tongue, as you must perceive, and i am sure i was in the greatest fright in the world t'other day, when edward's name was mentioned by sir john, lest she should out with it all. you can't think how much i go through in my mind from it altogether. i only wonder that i am alive after what i have suffered for edward's sake these last four years. every thing in such suspense and uncertainty; and seeing him so seldom--we can hardly meet above twice a-year. i am sure i wonder my heart is not quite broke." here she took out her handkerchief; but elinor did not feel very compassionate. "sometimes," continued lucy, after wiping her eyes, "i think whether it would not be better for us both to break off the matter entirely." as she said this, she looked directly at her companion. "but then at other times i have not resolution enough for it. i cannot bear the thoughts of making him so miserable, as i know the very mention of such a thing would do. and on my own account too--so dear as he is to me--i don't think i could be equal to it. what would you advise me to do in such a case, miss dashwood? what would you do yourself?" "pardon me," replied elinor, startled by the question; "but i can give you no advice under such circumstances. your own judgment must direct you." "to be sure," continued lucy, after a few minutes silence on both sides, "his mother must provide for him sometime or other; but poor edward is so cast down by it! did you not think him dreadful low-spirited when he was at barton? he was so miserable when he left us at longstaple, to go to you, that i was afraid you would think him quite ill." "did he come from your uncle's, then, when he visited us?" "oh, yes; he had been staying a fortnight with us. did you think he came directly from town?" "no," replied elinor, most feelingly sensible of every fresh circumstance in favour of lucy's veracity; "i remember he told us, that he had been staying a fortnight with some friends near plymouth." she remembered too, her own surprise at the time, at his mentioning nothing farther of those friends, at his total silence with respect even to their names. "did not you think him sadly out of spirits?" repeated lucy. "we did, indeed, particularly so when he first arrived." "i begged him to exert himself for fear you should suspect what was the matter; but it made him so melancholy, not being able to stay more than a fortnight with us, and seeing me so much affected. poor fellow!--i am afraid it is just the same with him now; for he writes in wretched spirits. i heard from him just before i left exeter;" taking a letter from her pocket and carelessly showing the direction to elinor. "you know his hand, i dare say, a charming one it is; but that is not written so well as usual. he was tired, i dare say, for he had just filled the sheet to me as full as possible." elinor saw that it _was_ his hand, and she could doubt no longer. this picture, she had allowed herself to believe, might have been accidentally obtained; it might not have been edward's gift; but a correspondence between them by letter, could subsist only under a positive engagement, could be authorised by nothing else; for a few moments, she was almost overcome--her heart sunk within her, and she could hardly stand; but exertion was indispensably necessary; and she struggled so resolutely against the oppression of her feelings, that her success was speedy, and for the time complete. "writing to each other," said lucy, returning the letter into her pocket, "is the only comfort we have in such long separations. yes, i have one other comfort in his picture, but poor edward has not even _that._ if he had but my picture, he says he should be easy. i gave him a lock of my hair set in a ring when he was at longstaple last, and that was some comfort to him, he said, but not equal to a picture. perhaps you might notice the ring when you saw him?" "i did," said elinor, with a composure of voice, under which was concealed an emotion and distress beyond any thing she had ever felt before. she was mortified, shocked, confounded. fortunately for her, they had now reached the cottage, and the conversation could be continued no farther. after sitting with them a few minutes, the miss steeles returned to the park, and elinor was then at liberty to think and be wretched. chapter xxiii however small elinor's general dependence on lucy's veracity might be, it was impossible for her on serious reflection to suspect it in the present case, where no temptation could be answerable to the folly of inventing a falsehood of such a description. what lucy had asserted to be true, therefore, elinor could not, dared not longer doubt; supported as it was too on every side by such probabilities and proofs, and contradicted by nothing but her own wishes. their opportunity of acquaintance in the house of mr. pratt was a foundation for the rest, at once indisputable and alarming; and edward's visit near plymouth, his melancholy state of mind, his dissatisfaction at his own prospects, his uncertain behaviour towards herself, the intimate knowledge of the miss steeles as to norland and their family connections, which had often surprised her, the picture, the letter, the ring, formed altogether such a body of evidence, as overcame every fear of condemning him unfairly, and established as a fact, which no partiality could set aside, his ill-treatment of herself. her resentment of such behaviour, her indignation at having been its dupe, for a short time made her feel only for herself; but other ideas, other considerations, soon arose. had edward been intentionally deceiving her? had he feigned a regard for her which he did not feel? was his engagement to lucy an engagement of the heart? no; whatever it might once have been, she could not believe it such at present. his affection was all her own. she could not be deceived in that. her mother, sisters, fanny, all had been conscious of his regard for her at norland; it was not an illusion of her own vanity. he certainly loved her. what a softener of the heart was this persuasion! how much could it not tempt her to forgive! he had been blamable, highly blamable, in remaining at norland after he first felt her influence over him to be more than it ought to be. in that, he could not be defended; but if he had injured her, how much more had he injured himself; if her case were pitiable, his was hopeless. his imprudence had made her miserable for a while; but it seemed to have deprived himself of all chance of ever being otherwise. she might in time regain tranquillity; but _he_, what had he to look forward to? could he ever be tolerably happy with lucy steele; could he, were his affection for herself out of the question, with his integrity, his delicacy, and well-informed mind, be satisfied with a wife like her--illiterate, artful, and selfish? the youthful infatuation of nineteen would naturally blind him to every thing but her beauty and good nature; but the four succeeding years--years, which if rationally spent, give such improvement to the understanding, must have opened his eyes to her defects of education, while the same period of time, spent on her side in inferior society and more frivolous pursuits, had perhaps robbed her of that simplicity which might once have given an interesting character to her beauty. if in the supposition of his seeking to marry herself, his difficulties from his mother had seemed great, how much greater were they now likely to be, when the object of his engagement was undoubtedly inferior in connections, and probably inferior in fortune to herself. these difficulties, indeed, with a heart so alienated from lucy, might not press very hard upon his patience; but melancholy was the state of the person by whom the expectation of family opposition and unkindness, could be felt as a relief! as these considerations occurred to her in painful succession, she wept for him, more than for herself. supported by the conviction of having done nothing to merit her present unhappiness, and consoled by the belief that edward had done nothing to forfeit her esteem, she thought she could even now, under the first smart of the heavy blow, command herself enough to guard every suspicion of the truth from her mother and sisters. and so well was she able to answer her own expectations, that when she joined them at dinner only two hours after she had first suffered the extinction of all her dearest hopes, no one would have supposed from the appearance of the sisters, that elinor was mourning in secret over obstacles which must divide her for ever from the object of her love, and that marianne was internally dwelling on the perfections of a man, of whose whole heart she felt thoroughly possessed, and whom she expected to see in every carriage which drove near their house. the necessity of concealing from her mother and marianne, what had been entrusted in confidence to herself, though it obliged her to unceasing exertion, was no aggravation of elinor's distress. on the contrary it was a relief to her, to be spared the communication of what would give such affliction to them, and to be saved likewise from hearing that condemnation of edward, which would probably flow from the excess of their partial affection for herself, and which was more than she felt equal to support. from their counsel, or their conversation, she knew she could receive no assistance, their tenderness and sorrow must add to her distress, while her self-command would neither receive encouragement from their example nor from their praise. she was stronger alone, and her own good sense so well supported her, that her firmness was as unshaken, her appearance of cheerfulness as invariable, as with regrets so poignant and so fresh, it was possible for them to be. much as she had suffered from her first conversation with lucy on the subject, she soon felt an earnest wish of renewing it; and this for more reasons than one. she wanted to hear many particulars of their engagement repeated again, she wanted more clearly to understand what lucy really felt for edward, whether there were any sincerity in her declaration of tender regard for him, and she particularly wanted to convince lucy, by her readiness to enter on the matter again, and her calmness in conversing on it, that she was no otherwise interested in it than as a friend, which she very much feared her involuntary agitation, in their morning discourse, must have left at least doubtful. that lucy was disposed to be jealous of her appeared very probable: it was plain that edward had always spoken highly in her praise, not merely from lucy's assertion, but from her venturing to trust her on so short a personal acquaintance, with a secret so confessedly and evidently important. and even sir john's joking intelligence must have had some weight. but indeed, while elinor remained so well assured within herself of being really beloved by edward, it required no other consideration of probabilities to make it natural that lucy should be jealous; and that she was so, her very confidence was a proof. what other reason for the disclosure of the affair could there be, but that elinor might be informed by it of lucy's superior claims on edward, and be taught to avoid him in future? she had little difficulty in understanding thus much of her rival's intentions, and while she was firmly resolved to act by her as every principle of honour and honesty directed, to combat her own affection for edward and to see him as little as possible; she could not deny herself the comfort of endeavouring to convince lucy that her heart was unwounded. and as she could now have nothing more painful to hear on the subject than had already been told, she did not mistrust her own ability of going through a repetition of particulars with composure. but it was not immediately that an opportunity of doing so could be commanded, though lucy was as well disposed as herself to take advantage of any that occurred; for the weather was not often fine enough to allow of their joining in a walk, where they might most easily separate themselves from the others; and though they met at least every other evening either at the park or cottage, and chiefly at the former, they could not be supposed to meet for the sake of conversation. such a thought would never enter either sir john or lady middleton's head; and therefore very little leisure was ever given for a general chat, and none at all for particular discourse. they met for the sake of eating, drinking, and laughing together, playing at cards, or consequences, or any other game that was sufficiently noisy. one or two meetings of this kind had taken place, without affording elinor any chance of engaging lucy in private, when sir john called at the cottage one morning, to beg, in the name of charity, that they would all dine with lady middleton that day, as he was obliged to attend the club at exeter, and she would otherwise be quite alone, except her mother and the two miss steeles. elinor, who foresaw a fairer opening for the point she had in view, in such a party as this was likely to be, more at liberty among themselves under the tranquil and well-bred direction of lady middleton than when her husband united them together in one noisy purpose, immediately accepted the invitation; margaret, with her mother's permission, was equally compliant, and marianne, though always unwilling to join any of their parties, was persuaded by her mother, who could not bear to have her seclude herself from any chance of amusement, to go likewise. the young ladies went, and lady middleton was happily preserved from the frightful solitude which had threatened her. the insipidity of the meeting was exactly such as elinor had expected; it produced not one novelty of thought or expression, and nothing could be less interesting than the whole of their discourse both in the dining parlour and drawing room: to the latter, the children accompanied them, and while they remained there, she was too well convinced of the impossibility of engaging lucy's attention to attempt it. they quitted it only with the removal of the tea-things. the card-table was then placed, and elinor began to wonder at herself for having ever entertained a hope of finding time for conversation at the park. they all rose up in preparation for a round game. "i am glad," said lady middleton to lucy, "you are not going to finish poor little annamaria's basket this evening; for i am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight. and we will make the dear little love some amends for her disappointment to-morrow, and then i hope she will not much mind it." this hint was enough, lucy recollected herself instantly and replied, "indeed you are very much mistaken, lady middleton; i am only waiting to know whether you can make your party without me, or i should have been at my filigree already. i would not disappoint the little angel for all the world: and if you want me at the card-table now, i am resolved to finish the basket after supper." "you are very good, i hope it won't hurt your eyes:--will you ring the bell for some working candles? my poor little girl would be sadly disappointed, i know, if the basket was not finished tomorrow, for though i told her it certainly would not, i am sure she depends upon having it done." lucy directly drew her work table near her and reseated herself with an alacrity and cheerfulness which seemed to infer that she could taste no greater delight than in making a filigree basket for a spoilt child. lady middleton proposed a rubber of casino to the others. no one made any objection but marianne, who with her usual inattention to the forms of general civility, exclaimed, "your ladyship will have the goodness to excuse _me_--you know i detest cards. i shall go to the piano-forte; i have not touched it since it was tuned." and without farther ceremony, she turned away and walked to the instrument. lady middleton looked as if she thanked heaven that _she_ had never made so rude a speech. "marianne can never keep long from that instrument you know, ma'am," said elinor, endeavouring to smooth away the offence; "and i do not much wonder at it; for it is the very best toned piano-forte i ever heard." the remaining five were now to draw their cards. "perhaps," continued elinor, "if i should happen to cut out, i may be of some use to miss lucy steele, in rolling her papers for her; and there is so much still to be done to the basket, that it must be impossible i think for her labour singly, to finish it this evening. i should like the work exceedingly, if she would allow me a share in it." "indeed i shall be very much obliged to you for your help," cried lucy, "for i find there is more to be done to it than i thought there was; and it would be a shocking thing to disappoint dear annamaria after all." "oh! that would be terrible, indeed," said miss steele. "dear little soul, how i do love her!" "you are very kind," said lady middleton to elinor; "and as you really like the work, perhaps you will be as well pleased not to cut in till another rubber, or will you take your chance now?" elinor joyfully profited by the first of these proposals, and thus by a little of that address which marianne could never condescend to practise, gained her own end, and pleased lady middleton at the same time. lucy made room for her with ready attention, and the two fair rivals were thus seated side by side at the same table, and, with the utmost harmony, engaged in forwarding the same work. the pianoforte at which marianne, wrapped up in her own music and her own thoughts, had by this time forgotten that any body was in the room besides herself, was luckily so near them that miss dashwood now judged she might safely, under the shelter of its noise, introduce the interesting subject, without any risk of being heard at the card-table. chapter xxiv in a firm, though cautious tone, elinor thus began. "i should be undeserving of the confidence you have honoured me with, if i felt no desire for its continuance, or no farther curiosity on its subject. i will not apologize therefore for bringing it forward again." "thank you," cried lucy warmly, "for breaking the ice; you have set my heart at ease by it; for i was somehow or other afraid i had offended you by what i told you that monday." "offended me! how could you suppose so? believe me," and elinor spoke it with the truest sincerity, "nothing could be farther from my intention than to give you such an idea. could you have a motive for the trust, that was not honourable and flattering to me?" "and yet i do assure you," replied lucy, her little sharp eyes full of meaning, "there seemed to me to be a coldness and displeasure in your manner that made me quite uncomfortable. i felt sure that you was angry with me; and have been quarrelling with myself ever since, for having took such a liberty as to trouble you with my affairs. but i am very glad to find it was only my own fancy, and that you really do not blame me. if you knew what a consolation it was to me to relieve my heart speaking to you of what i am always thinking of every moment of my life, your compassion would make you overlook every thing else i am sure." "indeed, i can easily believe that it was a very great relief to you, to acknowledge your situation to me, and be assured that you shall never have reason to repent it. your case is a very unfortunate one; you seem to me to be surrounded with difficulties, and you will have need of all your mutual affection to support you under them. mr. ferrars, i believe, is entirely dependent on his mother." "he has only two thousand pounds of his own; it would be madness to marry upon that, though for my own part, i could give up every prospect of more without a sigh. i have been always used to a very small income, and could struggle with any poverty for him; but i love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him, perhaps, of all that his mother might give him if he married to please her. we must wait, it may be for many years. with almost every other man in the world, it would be an alarming prospect; but edward's affection and constancy nothing can deprive me of i know." "that conviction must be every thing to you; and he is undoubtedly supported by the same trust in your's. if the strength of your reciprocal attachment had failed, as between many people, and under many circumstances it naturally would during a four years' engagement, your situation would have been pitiable, indeed." lucy here looked up; but elinor was careful in guarding her countenance from every expression that could give her words a suspicious tendency. "edward's love for me," said lucy, "has been pretty well put to the test, by our long, very long absence since we were first engaged, and it has stood the trial so well, that i should be unpardonable to doubt it now. i can safely say that he has never gave me one moment's alarm on that account from the first." elinor hardly knew whether to smile or sigh at this assertion. lucy went on. "i am rather of a jealous temper too by nature, and from our different situations in life, from his being so much more in the world than me, and our continual separation, i was enough inclined for suspicion, to have found out the truth in an instant, if there had been the slightest alteration in his behaviour to me when we met, or any lowness of spirits that i could not account for, or if he had talked more of one lady than another, or seemed in any respect less happy at longstaple than he used to be. i do not mean to say that i am particularly observant or quick-sighted in general, but in such a case i am sure i could not be deceived." "all this," thought elinor, "is very pretty; but it can impose upon neither of us." "but what," said she after a short silence, "are your views? or have you none but that of waiting for mrs. ferrars's death, which is a melancholy and shocking extremity?--is her son determined to submit to this, and to all the tediousness of the many years of suspense in which it may involve you, rather than run the risk of her displeasure for a while by owning the truth?" "if we could be certain that it would be only for a while! but mrs. ferrars is a very headstrong proud woman, and in her first fit of anger upon hearing it, would very likely secure every thing to robert, and the idea of that, for edward's sake, frightens away all my inclination for hasty measures." "and for your own sake too, or you are carrying your disinterestedness beyond reason." lucy looked at elinor again, and was silent. "do you know mr. robert ferrars?" asked elinor. "not at all--i never saw him; but i fancy he is very unlike his brother--silly and a great coxcomb." "a great coxcomb!" repeated miss steele, whose ear had caught those words by a sudden pause in marianne's music. "oh, they are talking of their favourite beaux, i dare say." "no sister," cried lucy, "you are mistaken there, our favourite beaux are _not_ great coxcombs." "i can answer for it that miss dashwood's is not," said mrs. jennings, laughing heartily; "for he is one of the modestest, prettiest behaved young men i ever saw; but as for lucy, she is such a sly little creature, there is no finding out who _she_ likes." [illustration: "_i can answer for it," said mrs. jennings._] "oh," cried miss steele, looking significantly round at them, "i dare say lucy's beau is quite as modest and pretty behaved as miss dashwood's." elinor blushed in spite of herself. lucy bit her lip, and looked angrily at her sister. a mutual silence took place for some time. lucy first put an end to it by saying in a lower tone, though marianne was then giving them the powerful protection of a very magnificent concerto-"i will honestly tell you of one scheme which has lately come into my head, for bringing matters to bear; indeed i am bound to let you into the secret, for you are a party concerned. i dare say you have seen enough of edward to know that he would prefer the church to every other profession; now my plan is that he should take orders as soon as he can, and then through your interest, which i am sure you would be kind enough to use out of friendship for him, and i hope out of some regard to me, your brother might be persuaded to give him norland living; which i understand is a very good one, and the present incumbent not likely to live a great while. that would be enough for us to marry upon, and we might trust to time and chance for the rest." "i should always be happy," replied elinor, "to show any mark of my esteem and friendship for mr. ferrars; but do you not perceive that my interest on such an occasion would be perfectly unnecessary? he is brother to mrs. john dashwood--_that_ must be recommendation enough to her husband." "but mrs. john dashwood would not much approve of edward's going into orders." "then i rather suspect that my interest would do very little." they were again silent for many minutes. at length lucy exclaimed with a deep sigh-"i believe it would be the wisest way to put an end to the business at once by dissolving the engagement. we seem so beset with difficulties on every side, that though it would make us miserable for a time, we should be happier perhaps in the end. but you will not give me your advice, miss dashwood?" "no," answered elinor, with a smile, which concealed very agitated feelings, "on such a subject i certainly will not. you know very well that my opinion would have no weight with you, unless it were on the side of your wishes." "indeed you wrong me," replied lucy, with great solemnity; "i know nobody of whose judgment i think so highly as i do of yours; and i do really believe, that if you was to say to me, 'i advise you by all means to put an end to your engagement with edward ferrars, it will be more for the happiness of both of you,' i should resolve upon doing it immediately." elinor blushed for the insincerity of edward's future wife, and replied, "this compliment would effectually frighten me from giving any opinion on the subject had i formed one. it raises my influence much too high; the power of dividing two people so tenderly attached is too much for an indifferent person." "'tis because you are an indifferent person," said lucy, with some pique, and laying a particular stress on those words, "that your judgment might justly have such weight with me. if you could be supposed to be biased in any respect by your own feelings, your opinion would not be worth having." elinor thought it wisest to make no answer to this, lest they might provoke each other to an unsuitable increase of ease and unreserve; and was even partly determined never to mention the subject again. another pause therefore of many minutes' duration, succeeded this speech, and lucy was still the first to end it. "shall you be in town this winter, miss dashwood?" said she with all her accustomary complacency. "certainly not." "i am sorry for that," returned the other, while her eyes brightened at the information, "it would have gave me such pleasure to meet you there! but i dare say you will go for all that. to be sure, your brother and sister will ask you to come to them." "it will not be in my power to accept their invitation if they do." "how unlucky that is! i had quite depended upon meeting you there. anne and me are to go the latter end of january to some relations who have been wanting us to visit them these several years! but i only go for the sake of seeing edward. he will be there in february, otherwise london would have no charms for me; i have not spirits for it." elinor was soon called to the card-table by the conclusion of the first rubber, and the confidential discourse of the two ladies was therefore at an end, to which both of them submitted without any reluctance, for nothing had been said on either side to make them dislike each other less than they had done before; and elinor sat down to the card table with the melancholy persuasion that edward was not only without affection for the person who was to be his wife; but that he had not even the chance of being tolerably happy in marriage, which sincere affection on _her_ side would have given, for self-interest alone could induce a woman to keep a man to an engagement, of which she seemed so thoroughly aware that he was weary. from this time the subject was never revived by elinor, and when entered on by lucy, who seldom missed an opportunity of introducing it, and was particularly careful to inform her confidante, of her happiness whenever she received a letter from edward, it was treated by the former with calmness and caution, and dismissed as soon as civility would allow; for she felt such conversations to be an indulgence which lucy did not deserve, and which were dangerous to herself. the visit of the miss steeles at barton park was lengthened far beyond what the first invitation implied. their favour increased; they could not be spared; sir john would not hear of their going; and in spite of their numerous and long arranged engagements in exeter, in spite of the absolute necessity of returning to fulfill them immediately, which was in full force at the end of every week, they were prevailed on to stay nearly two months at the park, and to assist in the due celebration of that festival which requires a more than ordinary share of private balls and large dinners to proclaim its importance. chapter xxv though mrs. jennings was in the habit of spending a large portion of the year at the houses of her children and friends, she was not without a settled habitation of her own. since the death of her husband, who had traded with success in a less elegant part of the town, she had resided every winter in a house in one of the streets near portman square. towards this home, she began on the approach of january to turn her thoughts, and thither she one day abruptly, and very unexpectedly by them, asked the elder misses dashwood to accompany her. elinor, without observing the varying complexion of her sister, and the animated look which spoke no indifference to the plan, immediately gave a grateful but absolute denial for both, in which she believed herself to be speaking their united inclinations. the reason alleged was their determined resolution of not leaving their mother at that time of the year. mrs. jennings received the refusal with some surprise, and repeated her invitation immediately. "oh, lord! i am sure your mother can spare you very well, and i _do_ beg you will favour me with your company, for i've quite set my heart upon it. don't fancy that you will be any inconvenience to me, for i shan't put myself at all out of my way for you. it will only be sending betty by the coach, and i hope i can afford _that._ we three shall be able to go very well in my chaise; and when we are in town, if you do not like to go wherever i do, well and good, you may always go with one of my daughters. i am sure your mother will not object to it; for i have had such good luck in getting my own children off my hands that she will think me a very fit person to have the charge of you; and if i don't get one of you at least well married before i have done with you, it shall not be my fault. i shall speak a good word for you to all the young men, you may depend upon it." "i have a notion," said sir john, "that miss marianne would not object to such a scheme, if her elder sister would come into it. it is very hard indeed that she should not have a little pleasure, because miss dashwood does not wish it. so i would advise you two, to set off for town, when you are tired of barton, without saying a word to miss dashwood about it." "nay," cried mrs. jennings, "i am sure i shall be monstrous glad of miss marianne's company, whether miss dashwood will go or not, only the more the merrier say i, and i thought it would be more comfortable for them to be together; because, if they got tired of me, they might talk to one another, and laugh at my old ways behind my back. but one or the other, if not both of them, i must have. lord bless me! how do you think i can live poking by myself, i who have been always used till this winter to have charlotte with me. come, miss marianne, let us strike hands upon the bargain, and if miss dashwood will change her mind by and bye, why so much the better." "i thank you, ma'am, sincerely thank you," said marianne, with warmth: "your invitation has insured my gratitude for ever, and it would give me such happiness, yes, almost the greatest happiness i am capable of, to be able to accept it. but my mother, my dearest, kindest mother,--i feel the justice of what elinor has urged, and if she were to be made less happy, less comfortable by our absence--oh! no, nothing should tempt me to leave her. it should not, must not be a struggle." mrs. jennings repeated her assurance that mrs. dashwood could spare them perfectly well; and elinor, who now understood her sister, and saw to what indifference to almost every thing else she was carried by her eagerness to be with willoughby again, made no farther direct opposition to the plan, and merely referred it to her mother's decision, from whom however she scarcely expected to receive any support in her endeavour to prevent a visit, which she could not approve of for marianne, and which on her own account she had particular reasons to avoid. whatever marianne was desirous of, her mother would be eager to promote--she could not expect to influence the latter to cautiousness of conduct in an affair respecting which she had never been able to inspire her with distrust; and she dared not explain the motive of her own disinclination for going to london. that marianne, fastidious as she was, thoroughly acquainted with mrs. jennings' manners, and invariably disgusted by them, should overlook every inconvenience of that kind, should disregard whatever must be most wounding to her irritable feelings, in her pursuit of one object, was such a proof, so strong, so full, of the importance of that object to her, as elinor, in spite of all that had passed, was not prepared to witness. on being informed of the invitation, mrs. dashwood, persuaded that such an excursion would be productive of much amusement to both her daughters, and perceiving through all her affectionate attention to herself, how much the heart of marianne was in it, would not hear of their declining the offer upon _her_ account; insisted on their both accepting it directly; and then began to foresee, with her usual cheerfulness, a variety of advantages that would accrue to them all, from this separation. "i am delighted with the plan," she cried, "it is exactly what i could wish. margaret and i shall be as much benefited by it as yourselves. when you and the middletons are gone, we shall go on so quietly and happily together with our books and our music! you will find margaret so improved when you come back again! i have a little plan of alteration for your bedrooms too, which may now be performed without any inconvenience to any one. it is very right that you _should_ go to town; i would have every young woman of your condition in life acquainted with the manners and amusements of london. you will be under the care of a motherly good sort of woman, of whose kindness to you i can have no doubt. and in all probability you will see your brother, and whatever may be his faults, or the faults of his wife, when i consider whose son he is, i cannot bear to have you so wholly estranged from each other." "though with your usual anxiety for our happiness," said elinor, "you have been obviating every impediment to the present scheme which occurred to you, there is still one objection which, in my opinion, cannot be so easily removed." marianne's countenance sunk. "and what," said mrs. dashwood, "is my dear prudent elinor going to suggest? what formidable obstacle is she now to bring forward? do let me hear a word about the expense of it." "my objection is this; though i think very well of mrs. jennings's heart, she is not a woman whose society can afford us pleasure, or whose protection will give us consequence." "that is very true," replied her mother, "but of her society, separately from that of other people, you will scarcely have any thing at all, and you will almost always appear in public with lady middleton." "if elinor is frightened away by her dislike of mrs. jennings," said marianne, "at least it need not prevent _my_ accepting her invitation. i have no such scruples, and i am sure i could put up with every unpleasantness of that kind with very little effort." elinor could not help smiling at this display of indifference towards the manners of a person, to whom she had often had difficulty in persuading marianne to behave with tolerable politeness; and resolved within herself, that if her sister persisted in going, she would go likewise, as she did not think it proper that marianne should be left to the sole guidance of her own judgment, or that mrs. jennings should be abandoned to the mercy of marianne for all the comfort of her domestic hours. to this determination she was the more easily reconciled, by recollecting that edward ferrars, by lucy's account, was not to be in town before february; and that their visit, without any unreasonable abridgement, might be previously finished. "i will have you _both_ go," said mrs. dashwood; "these objections are nonsensical. you will have much pleasure in being in london, and especially in being together; and if elinor would ever condescend to anticipate enjoyment, she would foresee it there from a variety of sources; she would, perhaps, expect some from improving her acquaintance with her sister-in-law's family." elinor had often wished for an opportunity of attempting to weaken her mother's dependence on the attachment of edward and herself, that the shock might be less when the whole truth were revealed, and now on this attack, though almost hopeless of success, she forced herself to begin her design by saying, as calmly as she could, "i like edward ferrars very much, and shall always be glad to see him; but as to the rest of the family, it is a matter of perfect indifference to me, whether i am ever known to them or not." mrs. dashwood smiled, and said nothing. marianne lifted up her eyes in astonishment, and elinor conjectured that she might as well have held her tongue. after very little farther discourse, it was finally settled that the invitation should be fully accepted. mrs. jennings received the information with a great deal of joy, and many assurances of kindness and care; nor was it a matter of pleasure merely to her. sir john was delighted; for to a man, whose prevailing anxiety was the dread of being alone, the acquisition of two, to the number of inhabitants in london, was something. even lady middleton took the trouble of being delighted, which was putting herself rather out of her way; and as for the miss steeles, especially lucy, they had never been so happy in their lives as this intelligence made them. elinor submitted to the arrangement which counteracted her wishes with less reluctance than she had expected to feel. with regard to herself, it was now a matter of unconcern whether she went to town or not, and when she saw her mother so thoroughly pleased with the plan, and her sister exhilarated by it in look, voice, and manner, restored to all her usual animation, and elevated to more than her usual gaiety, she could not be dissatisfied with the cause, and would hardly allow herself to distrust the consequence. marianne's joy was almost a degree beyond happiness, so great was the perturbation of her spirits and her impatience to be gone. her unwillingness to quit her mother was her only restorative to calmness; and at the moment of parting her grief on that score was excessive. her mother's affliction was hardly less, and elinor was the only one of the three, who seemed to consider the separation as any thing short of eternal. their departure took place in the first week in january. the middletons were to follow in about a week. the miss steeles kept their station at the park, and were to quit it only with the rest of the family. chapter xxvi elinor could not find herself in the carriage with mrs. jennings, and beginning a journey to london under her protection, and as her guest, without wondering at her own situation, so short had their acquaintance with that lady been, so wholly unsuited were they in age and disposition, and so many had been her objections against such a measure only a few days before! but these objections had all, with that happy ardour of youth which marianne and her mother equally shared, been overcome or overlooked; and elinor, in spite of every occasional doubt of willoughby's constancy, could not witness the rapture of delightful expectation which filled the whole soul and beamed in the eyes of marianne, without feeling how blank was her own prospect, how cheerless her own state of mind in the comparison, and how gladly she would engage in the solicitude of marianne's situation to have the same animating object in view, the same possibility of hope. a short, a very short time however must now decide what willoughby's intentions were; in all probability he was already in town. marianne's eagerness to be gone declared her dependence on finding him there; and elinor was resolved not only upon gaining every new light as to his character which her own observation or the intelligence of others could give her, but likewise upon watching his behaviour to her sister with such zealous attention, as to ascertain what he was and what he meant, before many meetings had taken place. should the result of her observations be unfavourable, she was determined at all events to open the eyes of her sister; should it be otherwise, her exertions would be of a different nature--she must then learn to avoid every selfish comparison, and banish every regret which might lessen her satisfaction in the happiness of marianne. they were three days on their journey, and marianne's behaviour as they travelled was a happy specimen of what future complaisance and companionableness to mrs. jennings might be expected to be. she sat in silence almost all the way, wrapt in her own meditations, and scarcely ever voluntarily speaking, except when any object of picturesque beauty within their view drew from her an exclamation of delight exclusively addressed to her sister. to atone for this conduct therefore, elinor took immediate possession of the post of civility which she had assigned herself, behaved with the greatest attention to mrs. jennings, talked with her, laughed with her, and listened to her whenever she could; and mrs. jennings on her side treated them both with all possible kindness, was solicitous on every occasion for their ease and enjoyment, and only disturbed that she could not make them choose their own dinners at the inn, nor extort a confession of their preferring salmon to cod, or boiled fowls to veal cutlets. they reached town by three o'clock the third day, glad to be released, after such a journey, from the confinement of a carriage, and ready to enjoy all the luxury of a good fire. the house was handsome, and handsomely fitted up, and the young ladies were immediately put in possession of a very comfortable apartment. it had formerly been charlotte's, and over the mantelpiece still hung a landscape in coloured silks of her performance, in proof of her having spent seven years at a great school in town to some effect. as dinner was not to be ready in less than two hours from their arrival, elinor determined to employ the interval in writing to her mother, and sat down for that purpose. in a few moments marianne did the same. "i am writing home, marianne," said elinor; "had not you better defer your letter for a day or two?" "i am _not_ going to write to my mother," replied marianne, hastily, and as if wishing to avoid any farther inquiry. elinor said no more; it immediately struck her that she must then be writing to willoughby; and the conclusion which as instantly followed was, that, however mysteriously they might wish to conduct the affair, they must be engaged. this conviction, though not entirely satisfactory, gave her pleasure, and she continued her letter with greater alacrity. marianne's was finished in a very few minutes; in length it could be no more than a note; it was then folded up, sealed, and directed with eager rapidity. elinor thought she could distinguish a large w in the direction; and no sooner was it complete than marianne, ringing the bell, requested the footman who answered it to get that letter conveyed for her to the two-penny post. this decided the matter at once. her spirits still continued very high; but there was a flutter in them which prevented their giving much pleasure to her sister, and this agitation increased as the evening drew on. she could scarcely eat any dinner, and when they afterwards returned to the drawing room, seemed anxiously listening to the sound of every carriage. it was a great satisfaction to elinor that mrs. jennings, by being much engaged in her own room, could see little of what was passing. the tea things were brought in, and already had marianne been disappointed more than once by a rap at a neighbouring door, when a loud one was suddenly heard which could not be mistaken for one at any other house, elinor felt secure of its announcing willoughby's approach, and marianne, starting up, moved towards the door. every thing was silent; this could not be borne many seconds; she opened the door, advanced a few steps towards the stairs, and after listening half a minute, returned into the room in all the agitation which a conviction of having heard him would naturally produce; in the ecstasy of her feelings at that instant she could not help exclaiming, "oh, elinor, it is willoughby, indeed it is!" and seemed almost ready to throw herself into his arms, when colonel brandon appeared. it was too great a shock to be borne with calmness, and she immediately left the room. elinor was disappointed too; but at the same time her regard for colonel brandon ensured his welcome with her; and she felt particularly hurt that a man so partial to her sister should perceive that she experienced nothing but grief and disappointment in seeing him. she instantly saw that it was not unnoticed by him, that he even observed marianne as she quitted the room, with such astonishment and concern, as hardly left him the recollection of what civility demanded towards herself. "is your sister ill?" said he. elinor answered in some distress that she was, and then talked of head-aches, low spirits, and over fatigues; and of every thing to which she could decently attribute her sister's behaviour. he heard her with the most earnest attention, but seeming to recollect himself, said no more on the subject, and began directly to speak of his pleasure at seeing them in london, making the usual inquiries about their journey, and the friends they had left behind. in this calm kind of way, with very little interest on either side, they continued to talk, both of them out of spirits, and the thoughts of both engaged elsewhere. elinor wished very much to ask whether willoughby were then in town, but she was afraid of giving him pain by any enquiry after his rival; and at length, by way of saying something, she asked if he had been in london ever since she had seen him last. "yes," he replied, with some embarrassment, "almost ever since; i have been once or twice at delaford for a few days, but it has never been in my power to return to barton." this, and the manner in which it was said, immediately brought back to her remembrance all the circumstances of his quitting that place, with the uneasiness and suspicions they had caused to mrs. jennings, and she was fearful that her question had implied much more curiosity on the subject than she had ever felt. mrs. jennings soon came in. "oh! colonel," said she, with her usual noisy cheerfulness, "i am monstrous glad to see you--sorry i could not come before--beg your pardon, but i have been forced to look about me a little, and settle my matters; for it is a long while since i have been at home, and you know one has always a world of little odd things to do after one has been away for any time; and then i have had cartwright to settle with. lord, i have been as busy as a bee ever since dinner! but pray, colonel, how came you to conjure out that i should be in town today?" "i had the pleasure of hearing it at mr. palmer's, where i have been dining." "oh, you did; well, and how do they all do at their house? how does charlotte do? i warrant you she is a fine size by this time." "mrs. palmer appeared quite well, and i am commissioned to tell you, that you will certainly see her to-morrow." "ay, to be sure, i thought as much. well, colonel, i have brought two young ladies with me, you see--that is, you see but one of them now, but there is another somewhere. your friend, miss marianne, too--which you will not be sorry to hear. i do not know what you and mr. willoughby will do between you about her. ay, it is a fine thing to be young and handsome. well! i was young once, but i never was very handsome--worse luck for me. however, i got a very good husband, and i don't know what the greatest beauty can do more. ah! poor man! he has been dead these eight years and better. but colonel, where have you been to since we parted? and how does your business go on? come, come, let's have no secrets among friends." he replied with his accustomary mildness to all her inquiries, but without satisfying her in any. elinor now began to make the tea, and marianne was obliged to appear again. after her entrance, colonel brandon became more thoughtful and silent than he had been before, and mrs. jennings could not prevail on him to stay long. no other visitor appeared that evening, and the ladies were unanimous in agreeing to go early to bed. marianne rose the next morning with recovered spirits and happy looks. the disappointment of the evening before seemed forgotten in the expectation of what was to happen that day. they had not long finished their breakfast before mrs. palmer's barouche stopped at the door, and in a few minutes she came laughing into the room: so delighted to see them all, that it was hard to say whether she received most pleasure from meeting her mother or the miss dashwoods again. so surprised at their coming to town, though it was what she had rather expected all along; so angry at their accepting her mother's invitation after having declined her own, though at the same time she would never have forgiven them if they had not come! "mr. palmer will be so happy to see you," said she; "what do you think he said when he heard of your coming with mamma? i forget what it was now, but it was something so droll!" after an hour or two spent in what her mother called comfortable chat, or in other words, in every variety of inquiry concerning all their acquaintance on mrs. jennings's side, and in laughter without cause on mrs. palmer's, it was proposed by the latter that they should all accompany her to some shops where she had business that morning, to which mrs. jennings and elinor readily consented, as having likewise some purchases to make themselves; and marianne, though declining it at first was induced to go likewise. wherever they went, she was evidently always on the watch. in bond street especially, where much of their business lay, her eyes were in constant inquiry; and in whatever shop the party were engaged, her mind was equally abstracted from every thing actually before them, from all that interested and occupied the others. restless and dissatisfied every where, her sister could never obtain her opinion of any article of purchase, however it might equally concern them both: she received no pleasure from anything; was only impatient to be at home again, and could with difficulty govern her vexation at the tediousness of mrs. palmer, whose eye was caught by every thing pretty, expensive, or new; who was wild to buy all, could determine on none, and dawdled away her time in rapture and indecision. it was late in the morning before they returned home; and no sooner had they entered the house than marianne flew eagerly up stairs, and when elinor followed, she found her turning from the table with a sorrowful countenance, which declared that no willoughby had been there. "has no letter been left here for me since we went out?" said she to the footman who then entered with the parcels. she was answered in the negative. "are you quite sure of it?" she replied. "are you certain that no servant, no porter has left any letter or note?" the man replied that none had. "how very odd!" said she, in a low and disappointed voice, as she turned away to the window. "how odd, indeed!" repeated elinor within herself, regarding her sister with uneasiness. "if she had not known him to be in town she would not have written to him, as she did; she would have written to combe magna; and if he is in town, how odd that he should neither come nor write! oh! my dear mother, you must be wrong in permitting an engagement between a daughter so young, a man so little known, to be carried on in so doubtful, so mysterious a manner! i long to inquire; and how will _my_ interference be borne." she determined, after some consideration, that if appearances continued many days longer as unpleasant as they now were, she would represent in the strongest manner to her mother the necessity of some serious enquiry into the affair. mrs. palmer and two elderly ladies of mrs. jennings's intimate acquaintance, whom she had met and invited in the morning, dined with them. the former left them soon after tea to fulfill her evening engagements; and elinor was obliged to assist in making a whist table for the others. marianne was of no use on these occasions, as she would never learn the game; but though her time was therefore at her own disposal, the evening was by no means more productive of pleasure to her than to elinor, for it was spent in all the anxiety of expectation and the pain of disappointment. she sometimes endeavoured for a few minutes to read; but the book was soon thrown aside, and she returned to the more interesting employment of walking backwards and forwards across the room, pausing for a moment whenever she came to the window, in hopes of distinguishing the long-expected rap. chapter xxvii "if this open weather holds much longer," said mrs. jennings, when they met at breakfast the following morning, "sir john will not like leaving barton next week; 'tis a sad thing for sportsmen to lose a day's pleasure. poor souls! i always pity them when they do; they seem to take it so much to heart." "that is true," cried marianne, in a cheerful voice, and walking to the window as she spoke, to examine the day. "i had not thought of that. this weather will keep many sportsmen in the country." it was a lucky recollection, all her good spirits were restored by it. "it is charming weather for _them_ indeed," she continued, as she sat down to the breakfast table with a happy countenance. "how much they must enjoy it! but" (with a little return of anxiety) "it cannot be expected to last long. at this time of the year, and after such a series of rain, we shall certainly have very little more of it. frosts will soon set in, and in all probability with severity. in another day or two perhaps; this extreme mildness can hardly last longer--nay, perhaps it may freeze tonight!" "at any rate," said elinor, wishing to prevent mrs. jennings from seeing her sister's thoughts as clearly as she did, "i dare say we shall have sir john and lady middleton in town by the end of next week." "ay, my dear, i'll warrant you we do. mary always has her own way." "and now," silently conjectured elinor, "she will write to combe by this day's post." but if she _did_, the letter was written and sent away with a privacy which eluded all her watchfulness to ascertain the fact. whatever the truth of it might be, and far as elinor was from feeling thorough contentment about it, yet while she saw marianne in spirits, she could not be very uncomfortable herself. and marianne was in spirits; happy in the mildness of the weather, and still happier in her expectation of a frost. the morning was chiefly spent in leaving cards at the houses of mrs. jennings's acquaintance to inform them of her being in town; and marianne was all the time busy in observing the direction of the wind, watching the variations of the sky and imagining an alteration in the air. "don't you find it colder than it was in the morning, elinor? there seems to me a very decided difference. i can hardly keep my hands warm even in my muff. it was not so yesterday, i think. the clouds seem parting too, the sun will be out in a moment, and we shall have a clear afternoon." elinor was alternately diverted and pained; but marianne persevered, and saw every night in the brightness of the fire, and every morning in the appearance of the atmosphere, the certain symptoms of approaching frost. the miss dashwoods had no greater reason to be dissatisfied with mrs. jennings's style of living, and set of acquaintance, than with her behaviour to themselves, which was invariably kind. every thing in her household arrangements was conducted on the most liberal plan, and excepting a few old city friends, whom, to lady middleton's regret, she had never dropped, she visited no one to whom an introduction could at all discompose the feelings of her young companions. pleased to find herself more comfortably situated in that particular than she had expected, elinor was very willing to compound for the want of much real enjoyment from any of their evening parties, which, whether at home or abroad, formed only for cards, could have little to amuse her. colonel brandon, who had a general invitation to the house, was with them almost every day; he came to look at marianne and talk to elinor, who often derived more satisfaction from conversing with him than from any other daily occurrence, but who saw at the same time with much concern his continued regard for her sister. she feared it was a strengthening regard. it grieved her to see the earnestness with which he often watched marianne, and his spirits were certainly worse than when at barton. about a week after their arrival, it became certain that willoughby was also arrived. his card was on the table when they came in from the morning's drive. "good god!" cried marianne, "he has been here while we were out." elinor, rejoiced to be assured of his being in london, now ventured to say, "depend upon it, he will call again tomorrow." but marianne seemed hardly to hear her, and on mrs. jennings's entrance, escaped with the precious card. this event, while it raised the spirits of elinor, restored to those of her sister all, and more than all, their former agitation. from this moment her mind was never quiet; the expectation of seeing him every hour of the day, made her unfit for any thing. she insisted on being left behind, the next morning, when the others went out. elinor's thoughts were full of what might be passing in berkeley street during their absence; but a moment's glance at her sister when they returned was enough to inform her, that willoughby had paid no second visit there. a note was just then brought in, and laid on the table. "for me!" cried marianne, stepping hastily forward. "no, ma'am, for my mistress." but marianne, not convinced, took it instantly up. "it is indeed for mrs. jennings; how provoking!" "you are expecting a letter, then?" said elinor, unable to be longer silent. "yes, a little--not much." after a short pause. "you have no confidence in me, marianne." "nay, elinor, this reproach from _you_--you who have confidence in no one!" "me!" returned elinor in some confusion; "indeed, marianne, i have nothing to tell." "nor i," answered marianne with energy, "our situations then are alike. we have neither of us any thing to tell; you, because you do not communicate, and i, because i conceal nothing." elinor, distressed by this charge of reserve in herself, which she was not at liberty to do away, knew not how, under such circumstances, to press for greater openness in marianne. mrs. jennings soon appeared, and the note being given her, she read it aloud. it was from lady middleton, announcing their arrival in conduit street the night before, and requesting the company of her mother and cousins the following evening. business on sir john's part, and a violent cold on her own, prevented their calling in berkeley street. the invitation was accepted; but when the hour of appointment drew near, necessary as it was in common civility to mrs. jennings, that they should both attend her on such a visit, elinor had some difficulty in persuading her sister to go, for still she had seen nothing of willoughby; and therefore was not more indisposed for amusement abroad, than unwilling to run the risk of his calling again in her absence. elinor found, when the evening was over, that disposition is not materially altered by a change of abode, for although scarcely settled in town, sir john had contrived to collect around him, nearly twenty young people, and to amuse them with a ball. this was an affair, however, of which lady middleton did not approve. in the country, an unpremeditated dance was very allowable; but in london, where the reputation of elegance was more important and less easily attained, it was risking too much for the gratification of a few girls, to have it known that lady middleton had given a small dance of eight or nine couple, with two violins, and a mere side-board collation. mr. and mrs. palmer were of the party; from the former, whom they had not seen before since their arrival in town, as he was careful to avoid the appearance of any attention to his mother-in-law, and therefore never came near her, they received no mark of recognition on their entrance. he looked at them slightly, without seeming to know who they were, and merely nodded to mrs. jennings from the other side of the room. marianne gave one glance round the apartment as she entered: it was enough--_he_ was not there--and she sat down, equally ill-disposed to receive or communicate pleasure. after they had been assembled about an hour, mr. palmer sauntered towards the miss dashwoods to express his surprise on seeing them in town, though colonel brandon had been first informed of their arrival at his house, and he had himself said something very droll on hearing that they were to come. "i thought you were both in devonshire," said he. "did you?" replied elinor. "when do you go back again?" "i do not know." and thus ended their discourse. never had marianne been so unwilling to dance in her life, as she was that evening, and never so much fatigued by the exercise. she complained of it as they returned to berkeley street. "aye, aye," said mrs. jennings, "we know the reason of all that very well; if a certain person who shall be nameless, had been there, you would not have been a bit tired: and to say the truth it was not very pretty of him not to give you the meeting when he was invited." "invited!" cried marianne. "so my daughter middleton told me, for it seems sir john met him somewhere in the street this morning." marianne said no more, but looked exceedingly hurt. impatient in this situation to be doing something that might lead to her sister's relief, elinor resolved to write the next morning to her mother, and hoped by awakening her fears for the health of marianne, to procure those inquiries which had been so long delayed; and she was still more eagerly bent on this measure by perceiving after breakfast on the morrow, that marianne was again writing to willoughby, for she could not suppose it to be to any other person. about the middle of the day, mrs. jennings went out by herself on business, and elinor began her letter directly, while marianne, too restless for employment, too anxious for conversation, walked from one window to the other, or sat down by the fire in melancholy meditation. elinor was very earnest in her application to her mother, relating all that had passed, her suspicions of willoughby's inconstancy, urging her by every plea of duty and affection to demand from marianne an account of her real situation with respect to him. her letter was scarcely finished, when a rap foretold a visitor, and colonel brandon was announced. marianne, who had seen him from the window, and who hated company of any kind, left the room before he entered it. he looked more than usually grave, and though expressing satisfaction at finding miss dashwood alone, as if he had somewhat in particular to tell her, sat for some time without saying a word. elinor, persuaded that he had some communication to make in which her sister was concerned, impatiently expected its opening. it was not the first time of her feeling the same kind of conviction; for, more than once before, beginning with the observation of "your sister looks unwell to-day," or "your sister seems out of spirits," he had appeared on the point, either of disclosing, or of inquiring, something particular about her. after a pause of several minutes, their silence was broken, by his asking her in a voice of some agitation, when he was to congratulate her on the acquisition of a brother? elinor was not prepared for such a question, and having no answer ready, was obliged to adopt the simple and common expedient, of asking what he meant? he tried to smile as he replied, "your sister's engagement to mr. willoughby is very generally known." "it cannot be generally known," returned elinor, "for her own family do not know it." he looked surprised and said, "i beg your pardon, i am afraid my inquiry has been impertinent; but i had not supposed any secrecy intended, as they openly correspond, and their marriage is universally talked of." "how can that be? by whom can you have heard it mentioned?" "by many--by some of whom you know nothing, by others with whom you are most intimate, mrs. jennings, mrs. palmer, and the middletons. but still i might not have believed it, for where the mind is perhaps rather unwilling to be convinced, it will always find something to support its doubts, if i had not, when the servant let me in today, accidentally seen a letter in his hand, directed to mr. willoughby in your sister's writing. i came to inquire, but i was convinced before i could ask the question. is every thing finally settled? is it impossible to-? but i have no right, and i could have no chance of succeeding. excuse me, miss dashwood. i believe i have been wrong in saying so much, but i hardly know what to do, and on your prudence i have the strongest dependence. tell me that it is all absolutely resolved on, that any attempt, that in short concealment, if concealment be possible, is all that remains." these words, which conveyed to elinor a direct avowal of his love for her sister, affected her very much. she was not immediately able to say anything, and even when her spirits were recovered, she debated for a short time, on the answer it would be most proper to give. the real state of things between willoughby and her sister was so little known to herself, that in endeavouring to explain it, she might be as liable to say too much as too little. yet as she was convinced that marianne's affection for willoughby, could leave no hope of colonel brandon's success, whatever the event of that affection might be, and at the same time wished to shield her conduct from censure, she thought it most prudent and kind, after some consideration, to say more than she really knew or believed. she acknowledged, therefore, that though she had never been informed by themselves of the terms on which they stood with each other, of their mutual affection she had no doubt, and of their correspondence she was not astonished to hear. he listened to her with silent attention, and on her ceasing to speak, rose directly from his seat, and after saying in a voice of emotion, "to your sister i wish all imaginable happiness; to willoughby that he may endeavour to deserve her,"--took leave, and went away. elinor derived no comfortable feelings from this conversation, to lessen the uneasiness of her mind on other points; she was left, on the contrary, with a melancholy impression of colonel brandon's unhappiness, and was prevented even from wishing it removed, by her anxiety for the very event that must confirm it. chapter xxviii nothing occurred during the next three or four days, to make elinor regret what she had done, in applying to her mother; for willoughby neither came nor wrote. they were engaged about the end of that time to attend lady middleton to a party, from which mrs. jennings was kept away by the indisposition of her youngest daughter; and for this party, marianne, wholly dispirited, careless of her appearance, and seeming equally indifferent whether she went or staid, prepared, without one look of hope or one expression of pleasure. she sat by the drawing-room fire after tea, till the moment of lady middleton's arrival, without once stirring from her seat, or altering her attitude, lost in her own thoughts, and insensible of her sister's presence; and when at last they were told that lady middleton waited for them at the door, she started as if she had forgotten that any one was expected. they arrived in due time at the place of destination, and as soon as the string of carriages before them would allow, alighted, ascended the stairs, heard their names announced from one landing-place to another in an audible voice, and entered a room splendidly lit up, quite full of company, and insufferably hot. when they had paid their tribute of politeness by curtsying to the lady of the house, they were permitted to mingle in the crowd, and take their share of the heat and inconvenience, to which their arrival must necessarily add. after some time spent in saying little or doing less, lady middleton sat down to cassino, and as marianne was not in spirits for moving about, she and elinor luckily succeeding to chairs, placed themselves at no great distance from the table. they had not remained in this manner long, before elinor perceived willoughby, standing within a few yards of them, in earnest conversation with a very fashionable looking young woman. she soon caught his eye, and he immediately bowed, but without attempting to speak to her, or to approach marianne, though he could not but see her; and then continued his discourse with the same lady. elinor turned involuntarily to marianne, to see whether it could be unobserved by her. at that moment she first perceived him, and her whole countenance glowing with sudden delight, she would have moved towards him instantly, had not her sister caught hold of her. "good heavens!" she exclaimed, "he is there--he is there--oh! why does he not look at me? why cannot i speak to him?" "pray, pray be composed," cried elinor, "and do not betray what you feel to every body present. perhaps he has not observed you yet." this however was more than she could believe herself; and to be composed at such a moment was not only beyond the reach of marianne, it was beyond her wish. she sat in an agony of impatience which affected every feature. [illustration: _at that moment she first perceived him._] at last he turned round again, and regarded them both; she started up, and pronouncing his name in a tone of affection, held out her hand to him. he approached, and addressing himself rather to elinor than marianne, as if wishing to avoid her eye, and determined not to observe her attitude, inquired in a hurried manner after mrs. dashwood, and asked how long they had been in town. elinor was robbed of all presence of mind by such an address, and was unable to say a word. but the feelings of her sister were instantly expressed. her face was crimsoned over, and she exclaimed, in a voice of the greatest emotion, "good god! willoughby, what is the meaning of this? have you not received my letters? will you not shake hands with me?" he could not then avoid it, but her touch seemed painful to him, and he held her hand only for a moment. during all this time he was evidently struggling for composure. elinor watched his countenance and saw its expression becoming more tranquil. after a moment's pause, he spoke with calmness. "i did myself the honour of calling in berkeley street last tuesday, and very much regretted that i was not fortunate enough to find yourselves and mrs. jennings at home. my card was not lost, i hope." "but have you not received my notes?" cried marianne in the wildest anxiety. "here is some mistake i am sure--some dreadful mistake. what can be the meaning of it? tell me, willoughby; for heaven's sake tell me, what is the matter?" he made no reply; his complexion changed and all his embarrassment returned; but as if, on catching the eye of the young lady with whom he had been previously talking, he felt the necessity of instant exertion, he recovered himself again, and after saying, "yes, i had the pleasure of receiving the information of your arrival in town, which you were so good as to send me," turned hastily away with a slight bow and joined his friend. marianne, now looking dreadfully white, and unable to stand, sunk into her chair, and elinor, expecting every moment to see her faint, tried to screen her from the observation of others, while reviving her with lavender water. "go to him, elinor," she cried, as soon as she could speak, "and force him to come to me. tell him i must see him again--must speak to him instantly. i cannot rest--i shall not have a moment's peace till this is explained--some dreadful misapprehension or other. oh, go to him this moment." "how can that be done? no, my dearest marianne, you must wait. this is not the place for explanations. wait only till tomorrow." with difficulty however could she prevent her from following him herself; and to persuade her to check her agitation, to wait, at least, with the appearance of composure, till she might speak to him with more privacy and more effect, was impossible; for marianne continued incessantly to give way in a low voice to the misery of her feelings, by exclamations of wretchedness. in a short time elinor saw willoughby quit the room by the door towards the staircase, and telling marianne that he was gone, urged the impossibility of speaking to him again that evening, as a fresh argument for her to be calm. she instantly begged her sister would entreat lady middleton to take them home, as she was too miserable to stay a minute longer. lady middleton, though in the middle of a rubber, on being informed that marianne was unwell, was too polite to object for a moment to her wish of going away, and making over her cards to a friend, they departed as soon as the carriage could be found. scarcely a word was spoken during their return to berkeley street. marianne was in a silent agony, too much oppressed even for tears; but as mrs. jennings was luckily not come home, they could go directly to their own room, where hartshorn restored her a little to herself. she was soon undressed and in bed, and as she seemed desirous of being alone, her sister then left her, and while she waited the return of mrs. jennings, had leisure enough for thinking over the past. that some kind of engagement had subsisted between willoughby and marianne she could not doubt, and that willoughby was weary of it, seemed equally clear; for however marianne might still feed her own wishes, _she_ could not attribute such behaviour to mistake or misapprehension of any kind. nothing but a thorough change of sentiment could account for it. her indignation would have been still stronger than it was, had she not witnessed that embarrassment which seemed to speak a consciousness of his own misconduct, and prevented her from believing him so unprincipled as to have been sporting with the affections of her sister from the first, without any design that would bear investigation. absence might have weakened his regard, and convenience might have determined him to overcome it, but that such a regard had formerly existed she could not bring herself to doubt. as for marianne, on the pangs which so unhappy a meeting must already have given her, and on those still more severe which might await her in its probable consequence, she could not reflect without the deepest concern. her own situation gained in the comparison; for while she could _esteem_ edward as much as ever, however they might be divided in future, her mind might be always supported. but every circumstance that could embitter such an evil seemed uniting to heighten the misery of marianne in a final separation from willoughby--in an immediate and irreconcilable rupture with him. chapter xxix before the housemaid had lit their fire the next day, or the sun gained any power over a cold, gloomy morning in january, marianne, only half dressed, was kneeling against one of the window-seats for the sake of all the little light she could command from it, and writing as fast as a continual flow of tears would permit her. in this situation, elinor, roused from sleep by her agitation and sobs, first perceived her; and after observing her for a few moments with silent anxiety, said, in a tone of the most considerate gentleness-"marianne, may i ask--" "no, elinor," she replied, "ask nothing; you will soon know all." the sort of desperate calmness with which this was said, lasted no longer than while she spoke, and was immediately followed by a return of the same excessive affliction. it was some minutes before she could go on with her letter, and the frequent bursts of grief which still obliged her, at intervals, to withhold her pen, were proofs enough of her feeling how more than probable it was that she was writing for the last time to willoughby. elinor paid her every quiet and unobtrusive attention in her power; and she would have tried to sooth and tranquilize her still more, had not marianne entreated her, with all the eagerness of the most nervous irritability, not to speak to her for the world. in such circumstances, it was better for both that they should not be long together; and the restless state of marianne's mind not only prevented her from remaining in the room a moment after she was dressed, but requiring at once solitude and continual change of place, made her wander about the house till breakfast time, avoiding the sight of every body. at breakfast she neither ate, nor attempted to eat any thing; and elinor's attention was then all employed, not in urging her, not in pitying her, nor in appearing to regard her, but in endeavouring to engage mrs. jennings's notice entirely to herself. as this was a favourite meal with mrs. jennings, it lasted a considerable time, and they were just setting themselves, after it, round the common working table, when a letter was delivered to marianne, which she eagerly caught from the servant, and, turning of a death-like paleness, instantly ran out of the room. elinor, who saw as plainly by this, as if she had seen the direction, that it must come from willoughby, felt immediately such a sickness at heart as made her hardly able to hold up her head, and sat in such a general tremor as made her fear it impossible to escape mrs. jennings's notice. that good lady, however, saw only that marianne had received a letter from willoughby, which appeared to her a very good joke, and which she treated accordingly, by hoping, with a laugh, that she would find it to her liking. of elinor's distress, she was too busily employed in measuring lengths of worsted for her rug, to see any thing at all; and calmly continuing her talk, as soon as marianne disappeared, she said-"upon my word, i never saw a young woman so desperately in love in my life! _my_ girls were nothing to her, and yet they used to be foolish enough; but as for miss marianne, she is quite an altered creature. i hope, from the bottom of my heart, he won't keep her waiting much longer, for it is quite grievous to see her look so ill and forlorn. pray, when are they to be married?" elinor, though never less disposed to speak than at that moment, obliged herself to answer such an attack as this, and, therefore, trying to smile, replied, "and have you really, ma'am, talked yourself into a persuasion of my sister's being engaged to mr. willoughby? i thought it had been only a joke, but so serious a question seems to imply more; and i must beg, therefore, that you will not deceive yourself any longer. i do assure you that nothing would surprise me more than to hear of their being going to be married." "for shame, for shame, miss dashwood! how can you talk so? don't we all know that it must be a match, that they were over head and ears in love with each other from the first moment they met? did not i see them together in devonshire every day, and all day long; and did not i know that your sister came to town with me on purpose to buy wedding clothes? come, come, this won't do. because you are so sly about it yourself, you think nobody else has any senses; but it is no such thing, i can tell you, for it has been known all over town this ever so long. i tell every body of it and so does charlotte." "indeed, ma'am," said elinor, very seriously, "you are mistaken. indeed, you are doing a very unkind thing in spreading the report, and you will find that you have though you will not believe me now." mrs. jennings laughed again, but elinor had not spirits to say more, and eager at all events to know what willoughby had written, hurried away to their room, where, on opening the door, she saw marianne stretched on the bed, almost choked by grief, one letter in her hand, and two or three others laying by her. elinor drew near, but without saying a word; and seating herself on the bed, took her hand, kissed her affectionately several times, and then gave way to a burst of tears, which at first was scarcely less violent than marianne's. the latter, though unable to speak, seemed to feel all the tenderness of this behaviour, and after some time thus spent in joint affliction, she put all the letters into elinor's hands; and then covering her face with her handkerchief, almost screamed with agony. elinor, who knew that such grief, shocking as it was to witness it, must have its course, watched by her till this excess of suffering had somewhat spent itself, and then turning eagerly to willoughby's letter, read as follows:-"bond street, january. "my dear madam, "i have just had the honour of receiving your letter, for which i beg to return my sincere acknowledgments. i am much concerned to find there was anything in my behaviour last night that did not meet your approbation; and though i am quite at a loss to discover in what point i could be so unfortunate as to offend you, i entreat your forgiveness of what i can assure you to have been perfectly unintentional. i shall never reflect on my former acquaintance with your family in devonshire without the most grateful pleasure, and flatter myself it will not be broken by any mistake or misapprehension of my actions. my esteem for your whole family is very sincere; but if i have been so unfortunate as to give rise to a belief of more than i felt, or meant to express, i shall reproach myself for not having been more guarded in my professions of that esteem. that i should ever have meant more you will allow to be impossible, when you understand that my affections have been long engaged elsewhere, and it will not be many weeks, i believe, before this engagement is fulfilled. it is with great regret that i obey your commands in returning the letters with which i have been honoured from you, and the lock of hair, which you so obligingly bestowed on me. i am, dear madam, your most obedient humble servant, "john willoughby." with what indignation such a letter as this must be read by miss dashwood, may be imagined. though aware, before she began it, that it must bring a confession of his inconstancy, and confirm their separation for ever, she was not aware that such language could be suffered to announce it; nor could she have supposed willoughby capable of departing so far from the appearance of every honourable and delicate feeling--so far from the common decorum of a gentleman, as to send a letter so impudently cruel: a letter which, instead of bringing with his desire of a release any professions of regret, acknowledged no breach of faith, denied all peculiar affection whatever;--a letter of which every line was an insult, and which proclaimed its writer to be deep in hardened villainy. she paused over it for some time with indignant astonishment; then read it again and again; but every perusal only served to increase her abhorrence of the man, and so bitter were her feelings against him, that she dared not trust herself to speak, lest she might wound marianne still deeper by treating their disengagement, not as a loss to her of any possible good but as an escape from the worst and most irremediable of all evils,--a connection, for life, with an unprincipled man, as a deliverance the most real, a blessing the most important. in her earnest meditations on the contents of the letter, on the depravity of that mind which could dictate it, and probably, on the very different mind of a very different person, who had no other connection whatever with the affair than what her heart gave him with every thing that passed, elinor forgot the immediate distress of her sister, forgot that she had three letters on her lap yet unread, and so entirely forgot how long she had been in the room, that when on hearing a carriage drive up to the door, she went to the window to see who could be coming so unreasonably early, she was all astonishment to perceive mrs. jennings's chariot, which she knew had not been ordered till one. determined not to quit marianne, though hopeless of contributing, at present, to her ease, she hurried away to excuse herself from attending mrs. jennings, on account of her sister being indisposed. mrs. jennings, with a thoroughly good-humoured concern for its cause, admitted the excuse most readily, and elinor, after seeing her safe off, returned to marianne, whom she found attempting to rise from the bed, and whom she reached just in time to prevent her from falling on the floor, faint and giddy from a long want of proper rest and food; for it was many days since she had any appetite, and many nights since she had really slept; and now, when her mind was no longer supported by the fever of suspense, the consequence of all this was felt in an aching head, a weakened stomach, and a general nervous faintness. a glass of wine, which elinor procured for her directly, made her more comfortable, and she was at last able to express some sense of her kindness, by saying, "poor elinor! how unhappy i make you!" "i only wish," replied her sister, "there were any thing i _could_ do, which might be of comfort to you." this, as every thing else would have been, was too much for marianne, who could only exclaim, in the anguish of her heart, "oh! elinor, i am miserable, indeed," before her voice was entirely lost in sobs. elinor could no longer witness this torrent of unresisted grief in silence. "exert yourself, dear marianne," she cried, "if you would not kill yourself and all who love you. think of your mother; think of her misery while _you_ suffer: for her sake you must exert yourself." "i cannot, i cannot," cried marianne; "leave me, leave me, if i distress you; leave me, hate me, forget me! but do not torture me so. oh! how easy for those, who have no sorrow of their own to talk of exertion! happy, happy elinor, _you_ cannot have an idea of what i suffer." "do you call _me_ happy, marianne? ah! if you knew! and can you believe me to be so, while i see you so wretched!" "forgive me, forgive me," throwing her arms round her sister's neck; "i know you feel for me; i know what a heart you have; but yet you are--you must be happy; edward loves you--what, oh what, can do away such happiness as that?" "many, many circumstances," said elinor, solemnly. "no, no, no," cried marianne wildly, "he loves you, and only you. you _can_ have no grief." "i can have no pleasure while i see you in this state." "and you will never see me otherwise. mine is a misery which nothing can do away." "you must not talk so, marianne. have you no comforts? no friends? is your loss such as leaves no opening for consolation? much as you suffer now, think of what you would have suffered if the discovery of his character had been delayed to a later period;--if your engagement had been carried on for months and months, as it might have been, before he chose to put an end to it. every additional day of unhappy confidence, on your side, would have made the blow more dreadful." "engagement!" cried marianne, "there has been no engagement." "no engagement!" "no, he is not so unworthy as you believe him. he has broken no faith with me." "but he told you that he loved you." "yes--no--never absolutely. it was every day implied, but never professedly declared. sometimes i thought it had been--but it never was." "yet you wrote to him?" "yes: could that be wrong after all that had passed? but i cannot talk." elinor said no more, and turning again to the three letters which now raised a much stronger curiosity than before, directly ran over the contents of all. the first, which was what her sister had sent him on their arrival in town, was to this effect:-"berkeley street, january. "how surprised you will be, willoughby, on receiving this; and i think you will feel something more than surprise, when you know that i am in town. an opportunity of coming hither, though with mrs. jennings, was a temptation we could not resist. i wish you may receive this in time to come here tonight, but i will not depend on it. at any rate i shall expect you to-morrow. for the present, adieu. m.d." her second note, which had been written on the morning after the dance at the middletons', was in these words:- "i cannot express my disappointment in having missed you the day before yesterday, nor my astonishment at not having received any answer to a note which i sent you above a week ago. i have been expecting to hear from you, and still more to see you, every hour of the day. pray call again as soon as possible, and explain the reason of my having expected this in vain. you had better come earlier another time, because we are generally out by one. we were last night at lady middleton's, where there was a dance. i have been told that you were asked to be of the party. but could it be so? you must be very much altered indeed since we parted, if that could be the case, and you not there. but i will not suppose this possible, and i hope very soon to receive your personal assurance of its being otherwise. m.d." the contents of her last note to him were these:- "what am i to imagine, willoughby, by your behaviour last night? again i demand an explanation of it. i was prepared to meet you with the pleasure which our separation naturally produced,--with the familiarity which our intimacy at barton appeared to me to justify. i was repulsed indeed! i have passed a wretched night in endeavouring to excuse a conduct which can scarcely be called less than insulting; but though i have not yet been able to form any reasonable apology for your behaviour, i am perfectly ready to hear your justification of it. you have perhaps been misinformed, or purposely deceived, in something concerning me, which may have lowered me in your opinion. tell me what it is, explain the grounds on which you acted, and i shall be satisfied, in being able to satisfy you. it would grieve me indeed to be obliged to think ill of you; but if i am to do it, if i am to learn that you are not what we have hitherto believed you, that your regard for us all was insincere, that your behaviour to me was intended only to deceive, let it be told as soon as possible. my feelings are at present in a state of dreadful indecision; i wish to acquit you, but certainty on either side will be ease to what i now suffer. if your sentiments are no longer what they were, you will return my notes, and the lock of my hair which is in your possession. m.d." that such letters, so full of affection and confidence, could have been so answered, elinor, for willoughby's sake, would have been unwilling to believe. but her condemnation of him did not blind her to the impropriety of their having been written at all; and she was silently grieving over the imprudence which had hazarded such unsolicited proofs of tenderness, not warranted by anything preceding, and most severely condemned by the event, when marianne, perceiving that she had finished the letters, observed to her that they contained nothing but what any one would have written in the same situation. "i felt myself," she added, "to be as solemnly engaged to him, as if the strictest legal covenant had bound us to each other." "i can believe it," said elinor; "but unfortunately he did not feel the same." "he _did_ feel the same, elinor--for weeks and weeks he felt it. i know he did. whatever may have changed him now, (and nothing but the blackest art employed against me can have done it), i was once as dear to him as my own soul could wish. this lock of hair, which now he can so readily give up, was begged of me with the most earnest supplication. had you seen his look, his manner, had you heard his voice at that moment! have you forgot the last evening of our being together at barton? the morning that we parted too! when he told me that it might be many weeks before we met again--his distress--can i ever forget his distress?" for a moment or two she could say no more; but when this emotion had passed away, she added, in a firmer tone-"elinor, i have been cruelly used; but not by willoughby." "dearest marianne, who but himself? by whom can he have been instigated?" "by all the world, rather than by his own heart. i could rather believe every creature of my acquaintance leagued together to ruin me in his opinion, than believe his nature capable of such cruelty. this woman of whom he writes--whoever she be--or any one, in short, but your own dear self, mama, and edward, may have been so barbarous to bely me. beyond you three, is there a creature in the world whom i would not rather suspect of evil than willoughby, whose heart i know so well?" elinor would not contend, and only replied, "whoever may have been so detestably your enemy, let them be cheated of their malignant triumph, my dear sister, by seeing how nobly the consciousness of your own innocence and good intentions supports your spirits. it is a reasonable and laudable pride which resists such malevolence." "no, no," cried marianne, "misery such as mine has no pride. i care not who knows that i am wretched. the triumph of seeing me so may be open to all the world. elinor, elinor, they who suffer little may be proud and independent as they like--may resist insult, or return mortification--but i cannot. i must feel--i must be wretched--and they are welcome to enjoy the consciousness of it that can." "but for my mother's sake and mine--" "i would do more than for my own. but to appear happy when i am so miserable--oh! who can require it?" again they were both silent. elinor was employed in walking thoughtfully from the fire to the window, from the window to the fire, without knowing that she received warmth from one, or discerning objects through the other; and marianne, seated at the foot of the bed, with her head leaning against one of its posts, again took up willoughby's letter, and, after shuddering over every sentence, exclaimed-"it is too much! oh, willoughby, willoughby, could this be yours! cruel, cruel--nothing can acquit you. elinor, nothing can. whatever he might have heard against me, ought he not to have suspended his belief? ought he not to have told me of it, to have given me the power of clearing myself? 'the lock of hair, (repeating it from the letter,) which you so obligingly bestowed on me'--that is unpardonable. willoughby, where was your heart when you wrote those words? oh, barbarously insolent!--elinor, can he be justified?" "no, marianne, in no possible way." "and yet this woman--who knows what her art may have been?--how long it may have been premeditated, and how deeply contrived by her!--who is she?--who can she be?--whom did i ever hear him talk of as young and attractive among his female acquaintance?--oh! no one, no one:--he talked to me only of myself." another pause ensued; marianne was greatly agitated, and it ended thus:-"elinor, i must go home. i must go and comfort mama. can not we be gone to-morrow?" "to-morrow, marianne!" "yes, why should i stay here? i came only for willoughby's sake--and now who cares for me? who regards me?" "it would be impossible to go to-morrow. we owe mrs. jennings much more than civility; and civility of the commonest kind must prevent such a hasty removal as that." "well then, another day or two, perhaps; but i cannot stay here long, i cannot stay to endure the questions and remarks of all these people. the middletons and palmers--how am i to bear their pity? the pity of such a woman as lady middleton! oh, what would _he_ say to that!" elinor advised her to lie down again, and for a moment she did so; but no attitude could give her ease; and in restless pain of mind and body she moved from one posture to another, till growing more and more hysterical, her sister could with difficulty keep her on the bed at all, and for some time was fearful of being constrained to call for assistance. some lavender drops, however, which she was at length persuaded to take, were of use; and from that time till mrs. jennings returned, she continued on the bed quiet and motionless. chapter xxx mrs. jennings came immediately to their room on her return, and without waiting to have her request of admittance answered, opened the door and walked in with a look of real concern. "how do you do my dear?" said she in a voice of great compassion to marianne, who turned away her face without attempting to answer. "how is she, miss dashwood? poor thing! she looks very bad. no wonder. ay, it is but too true. he is to be married very soon--a good-for-nothing fellow! i have no patience with him. mrs. taylor told me of it half an hour ago, and she was told it by a particular friend of miss grey herself, else i am sure i should not have believed it; and i was almost ready to sink as it was. well, said i, all i can say is, that if this be true, he has used a young lady of my acquaintance abominably ill, and i wish with all my soul his wife may plague his heart out. and so i shall always say, my dear, you may depend on it. i have no notion of men's going on in this way; and if ever i meet him again, i will give him such a dressing as he has not had this many a day. but there is one comfort, my dear miss marianne--he is not the only young man in the world worth having; and with your pretty face you will never want admirers. well, poor thing! i won't disturb her any longer, for she had better have her cry out at once and have done with. the parrys and sandersons luckily are coming tonight you know, and that will amuse her." she then went away, walking on tiptoe out of the room, as if she supposed her young friend's affliction could be increased by noise. marianne, to the surprise of her sister, determined on dining with them. elinor even advised her against it. but "no, she would go down; she could bear it very well, and the bustle about her would be less." elinor, pleased to have her governed for a moment by such a motive, though believing it hardly possible that she could sit out the dinner, said no more; and adjusting her dress for her as well as she could, while marianne still remained on the bed, was ready to assist her into the dining room as soon as they were summoned to it. when there, though looking most wretchedly, she ate more and was calmer than her sister had expected. had she tried to speak, or had she been conscious of half mrs. jennings's well-meant but ill-judged attentions to her, this calmness could not have been maintained; but not a syllable escaped her lips; and the abstraction of her thoughts preserved her in ignorance of every thing that was passing before her. elinor, who did justice to mrs. jennings's kindness, though its effusions were often distressing, and sometimes almost ridiculous, made her those acknowledgments, and returned her those civilities, which her sister could not make or return for herself. their good friend saw that marianne was unhappy, and felt that every thing was due to her which might make her at all less so. she treated her therefore, with all the indulgent fondness of a parent towards a favourite child on the last day of its holidays. marianne was to have the best place by the fire, was to be tempted to eat by every delicacy in the house, and to be amused by the relation of all the news of the day. had not elinor, in the sad countenance of her sister, seen a check to all mirth, she could have been entertained by mrs. jennings's endeavours to cure a disappointment in love, by a variety of sweetmeats and olives, and a good fire. as soon, however, as the consciousness of all this was forced by continual repetition on marianne, she could stay no longer. with a hasty exclamation of misery, and a sign to her sister not to follow her, she directly got up and hurried out of the room. "poor soul!" cried mrs. jennings, as soon as she was gone, "how it grieves me to see her! and i declare if she is not gone away without finishing her wine! and the dried cherries too! lord! nothing seems to do her any good. i am sure if i knew of any thing she would like, i would send all over the town for it. well, it is the oddest thing to me, that a man should use such a pretty girl so ill! but when there is plenty of money on one side, and next to none on the other, lord bless you! they care no more about such things!" "the lady then,--miss grey i think you called her,--is very rich?" "fifty thousand pounds, my dear. did you ever see her? a smart, stylish girl they say, but not handsome. i remember her aunt very well, biddy henshawe; she married a very wealthy man. but the family are all rich together. fifty thousand pounds! and by all accounts, it won't come before it's wanted; for they say he is all to pieces. no wonder! dashing about with his curricle and hunters! well, it don't signify talking; but when a young man, be who he will, comes and makes love to a pretty girl, and promises marriage, he has no business to fly off from his word only because he grows poor, and a richer girl is ready to have him. why don't he, in such a case, sell his horses, let his house, turn off his servants, and make a thorough reform at once? i warrant you, miss marianne would have been ready to wait till matters came round. but that won't do nowadays; nothing in the way of pleasure can ever be given up by the young men of this age." "do you know what kind of a girl miss grey is? is she said to be amiable?" "i never heard any harm of her; indeed i hardly ever heard her mentioned; except that mrs. taylor did say this morning, that one day miss walker hinted to her, that she believed mr. and mrs. ellison would not be sorry to have miss grey married, for she and mrs. ellison could never agree." "and who are the ellisons?" "her guardians, my dear. but now she is of age and may choose for herself; and a pretty choice she has made!--what now," after pausing a moment, "your poor sister is gone to her own room, i suppose, to moan by herself. is there nothing one can get to comfort her? poor dear, it seems quite cruel to let her be alone. well, by and by we shall have a few friends, and that will amuse her a little. what shall we play at? she hates whist i know; but is there no round game she cares for?" "dear ma'am, this kindness is quite unnecessary. marianne, i dare say, will not leave her room again this evening. i shall persuade her if i can to go early to bed, for i am sure she wants rest." "aye, i believe that will be best for her. let her name her own supper, and go to bed. lord! no wonder she has been looking so bad and so cast down this last week or two, for this matter i suppose has been hanging over her head as long as that. and so the letter that came today finished it! poor soul! i am sure if i had had a notion of it, i would not have joked her about it for all my money. but then you know, how should i guess such a thing? i made sure of its being nothing but a common love letter, and you know young people like to be laughed at about them. lord! how concerned sir john and my daughters will be when they hear it! if i had my senses about me i might have called in conduit street in my way home, and told them of it. but i shall see them to-morrow." "it would be unnecessary i am sure, for you to caution mrs. palmer and sir john against ever naming mr. willoughby, or making the slightest allusion to what has passed, before my sister. their own good-nature must point out to them the real cruelty of appearing to know any thing about it when she is present; and the less that may ever be said to myself on the subject, the more my feelings will be spared, as you my dear madam will easily believe." "oh! lord! yes, that i do indeed. it must be terrible for you to hear it talked of; and as for your sister, i am sure i would not mention a word about it to her for the world. you saw i did not all dinner time. no more would sir john, nor my daughters, for they are all very thoughtful and considerate; especially if i give them a hint, as i certainly will. for my part, i think the less that is said about such things, the better, the sooner 'tis blown over and forgot. and what does talking ever do you know?" "in this affair it can only do harm; more so perhaps than in many cases of a similar kind, for it has been attended by circumstances which, for the sake of every one concerned in it, make it unfit to become the public conversation. i must do _this_ justice to mr. willoughby--he has broken no positive engagement with my sister." "law, my dear! don't pretend to defend him. no positive engagement indeed! after taking her all over allenham house, and fixing on the very rooms they were to live in hereafter!" elinor, for her sister's sake, could not press the subject farther, and she hoped it was not required of her for willoughby's; since, though marianne might lose much, he could gain very little by the enforcement of the real truth. after a short silence on both sides, mrs. jennings, with all her natural hilarity, burst forth again. "well, my dear, 'tis a true saying about an ill wind, for it will be all the better for colonel brandon. he will have her at last; aye, that he will. mind me, now, if they an't married by mid-summer. lord! how he'll chuckle over this news! i hope he will come tonight. it will be all to one a better match for your sister. two thousand a year without debt or drawback--except the little love-child, indeed; aye, i had forgot her; but she may be 'prenticed out at a small cost, and then what does it signify? delaford is a nice place, i can tell you; exactly what i call a nice old fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner! lord! how charlotte and i did stuff the only time we were there! then, there is a dovecote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and every thing, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so 'tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along. oh! 'tis a nice place! a butcher hard by in the village, and the parsonage-house within a stone's throw. to my fancy, a thousand times prettier than barton park, where they are forced to send three miles for their meat, and have not a neighbour nearer than your mother. well, i shall spirit up the colonel as soon as i can. one shoulder of mutton, you know, drives another down. if we _can_ but put willoughby out of her head!" "ay, if we can do that, ma'am," said elinor, "we shall do very well with or without colonel brandon." and then rising, she went away to join marianne, whom she found, as she expected, in her own room, leaning, in silent misery, over the small remains of a fire, which, till elinor's entrance, had been her only light. "you had better leave me," was all the notice that her sister received from her. "i will leave you," said elinor, "if you will go to bed." but this, from the momentary perverseness of impatient suffering, she at first refused to do. her sister's earnest, though gentle persuasion, however, soon softened her to compliance, and elinor saw her lay her aching head on the pillow, and as she hoped, in a way to get some quiet rest before she left her. in the drawing-room, whither she then repaired, she was soon joined by mrs. jennings, with a wine-glass, full of something, in her hand. "my dear," said she, entering, "i have just recollected that i have some of the finest old constantia wine in the house that ever was tasted, so i have brought a glass of it for your sister. my poor husband! how fond he was of it! whenever he had a touch of his old colicky gout, he said it did him more good than any thing else in the world. do take it to your sister." "dear ma'am," replied elinor, smiling at the difference of the complaints for which it was recommended, "how good you are! but i have just left marianne in bed, and, i hope, almost asleep; and as i think nothing will be of so much service to her as rest, if you will give me leave, i will drink the wine myself." mrs. jennings, though regretting that she had not been five minutes earlier, was satisfied with the compromise; and elinor, as she swallowed the chief of it, reflected, that though its effects on a colicky gout were, at present, of little importance to her, its healing powers, on a disappointed heart might be as reasonably tried on herself as on her sister. colonel brandon came in while the party were at tea, and by his manner of looking round the room for marianne, elinor immediately fancied that he neither expected nor wished to see her there, and, in short, that he was already aware of what occasioned her absence. mrs. jennings was not struck by the same thought; for soon after his entrance, she walked across the room to the tea-table where elinor presided, and whispered, "the colonel looks as grave as ever you see. he knows nothing of it; do tell him, my dear." [illustration: "_how fond he was of it!_"] he shortly afterwards drew a chair close to her's, and, with a look which perfectly assured her of his good information, inquired after her sister. "marianne is not well," said she. "she has been indisposed all day, and we have persuaded her to go to bed." "perhaps, then," he hesitatingly replied, "what i heard this morning may be--there may be more truth in it than i could believe possible at first." "what did you hear?" "that a gentleman, whom i had reason to think--in short, that a man, whom i _knew_ to be engaged--but how shall i tell you? if you know it already, as surely you must, i may be spared." "you mean," answered elinor, with forced calmness, "mr. willoughby's marriage with miss grey. yes, we _do_ know it all. this seems to have been a day of general elucidation, for this very morning first unfolded it to us. mr. willoughby is unfathomable! where did you hear it?" "in a stationer's shop in pall mall, where i had business. two ladies were waiting for their carriage, and one of them was giving the other an account of the intended match, in a voice so little attempting concealment, that it was impossible for me not to hear all. the name of willoughby, john willoughby, frequently repeated, first caught my attention; and what followed was a positive assertion that every thing was now finally settled respecting his marriage with miss grey--it was no longer to be a secret--it would take place even within a few weeks, with many particulars of preparations and other matters. one thing, especially, i remember, because it served to identify the man still more:--as soon as the ceremony was over, they were to go to combe magna, his seat in somersetshire. my astonishment!--but it would be impossible to describe what i felt. the communicative lady i learnt, on inquiry,--for i stayed in the shop till they were gone,--was a mrs. ellison, and that, as i have been since informed, is the name of miss grey's guardian." "it is. but have you likewise heard that miss grey has fifty thousand pounds? in that, if in any thing, we may find an explanation." "it may be so; but willoughby is capable--at least i think--" he stopped a moment; then added in a voice which seemed to distrust itself, "and your sister,--how did she,--" "her sufferings have been very severe. i have only to hope that they may be proportionately short. it has been, it is a most cruel affliction. till yesterday, i believe, she never doubted his regard; and even now, perhaps--but _i_ am almost convinced that he never was really attached to her. he has been very deceitful! and, in some points, there seems a hardness of heart about him." "ah!" said colonel brandon, "there is, indeed! but your sister does not--i think you said so--she does not consider quite as you do?" "you know her disposition, and may believe how eagerly she would still justify him if she could." he made no answer; and soon afterwards, by the removal of the tea-things, and the arrangement of the card parties, the subject was necessarily dropped. mrs. jennings, who had watched them with pleasure while they were talking, and who expected to see the effect of miss dashwood's communication, in such an instantaneous gaiety on colonel brandon's side, as might have become a man in the bloom of youth, of hope and happiness, saw him, with amazement, remain the whole evening more serious and thoughtful than usual. chapter xxxi from a night of more sleep than she had expected, marianne awoke the next morning to the same consciousness of misery in which she had closed her eyes. elinor encouraged her as much as possible to talk of what she felt; and before breakfast was ready, they had gone through the subject again and again; and with the same steady conviction and affectionate counsel on elinor's side, the same impetuous feelings and varying opinions on marianne's, as before. sometimes she could believe willoughby to be as unfortunate and as innocent as herself, and at others, lost every consolation in the impossibility of acquitting him. at one moment she was absolutely indifferent to the observation of all the world, at another she would seclude herself from it for ever, and at a third could resist it with energy. in one thing, however, she was uniform, when it came to the point, in avoiding, where it was possible, the presence of mrs. jennings, and in a determined silence when obliged to endure it. her heart was hardened against the belief of mrs. jennings's entering into her sorrows with any compassion. "no, no, no, it cannot be," she cried; "she cannot feel. her kindness is not sympathy; her good-nature is not tenderness. all that she wants is gossip, and she only likes me now because i supply it." elinor had not needed this to be assured of the injustice to which her sister was often led in her opinion of others, by the irritable refinement of her own mind, and the too great importance placed by her on the delicacies of a strong sensibility, and the graces of a polished manner. like half the rest of the world, if more than half there be that are clever and good, marianne, with excellent abilities and an excellent disposition, was neither reasonable nor candid. she expected from other people the same opinions and feelings as her own, and she judged of their motives by the immediate effect of their actions on herself. thus a circumstance occurred, while the sisters were together in their own room after breakfast, which sunk the heart of mrs. jennings still lower in her estimation; because, through her own weakness, it chanced to prove a source of fresh pain to herself, though mrs. jennings was governed in it by an impulse of the utmost good-will. with a letter in her outstretched hand, and countenance gaily smiling, from the persuasion of bringing comfort, she entered their room, saying-"now, my dear, i bring you something that i am sure will do you good." marianne heard enough. in one moment her imagination placed before her a letter from willoughby, full of tenderness and contrition, explanatory of all that had passed, satisfactory, convincing; and instantly followed by willoughby himself, rushing eagerly into the room to enforce, at her feet, by the eloquence of his eyes, the assurances of his letter. the work of one moment was destroyed by the next. the hand writing of her mother, never till then unwelcome, was before her; and, in the acuteness of the disappointment which followed such an ecstasy of more than hope, she felt as if, till that instant, she had never suffered. the cruelty of mrs. jennings, no language, within her reach in her moments of happiest eloquence, could have expressed; and now she could reproach her only by the tears which streamed from her eyes with passionate violence;--a reproach, however, so entirely lost on its object, that after many expressions of pity, she withdrew, still referring her to the letter of comfort. but the letter, when she was calm enough to read it, brought little comfort. willoughby filled every page. her mother, still confident of their engagement, and relying as warmly as ever on his constancy, had only been roused by elinor's application, to entreat from marianne greater openness towards them both; and this, with such tenderness towards her, such affection for willoughby, and such a conviction of their future happiness in each other, that she wept with agony through the whole of it. all her impatience to be at home again now returned; her mother was dearer to her than ever; dearer through the very excess of her mistaken confidence in willoughby, and she was wildly urgent to be gone. elinor, unable herself to determine whether it were better for marianne to be in london or at barton, offered no counsel of her own except of patience till their mother's wishes could be known; and at length she obtained her sister's consent to wait for that knowledge. mrs. jennings left them earlier than usual; for she could not be easy till the middletons and palmers were able to grieve as much as herself; and positively refusing elinor's offered attendance, went out alone for the rest of the morning. elinor, with a very heavy heart, aware of the pain she was going to communicate, and perceiving, by marianne's letter, how ill she had succeeded in laying any foundation for it, then sat down to write her mother an account of what had passed, and entreat her directions for the future; while marianne, who came into the drawing-room on mrs. jennings's going away, remained fixed at the table where elinor wrote, watching the advancement of her pen, grieving over her for the hardship of such a task, and grieving still more fondly over its effect on her mother. in this manner they had continued about a quarter of an hour, when marianne, whose nerves could not then bear any sudden noise, was startled by a rap at the door. "who can this be?" cried elinor. "so early too! i thought we _had_ been safe." marianne moved to the window-"it is colonel brandon!" said she, with vexation. "we are never safe from _him._" "he will not come in, as mrs. jennings is from home." "i will not trust to _that_," retreating to her own room. "a man who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his intrusion on that of others." the event proved her conjecture right, though it was founded on injustice and error; for colonel brandon _did_ come in; and elinor, who was convinced that solicitude for marianne brought him thither, and who saw _that_ solicitude in his disturbed and melancholy look, and in his anxious though brief inquiry after her, could not forgive her sister for esteeming him so lightly. "i met mrs. jennings in bond street," said he, after the first salutation, "and she encouraged me to come on; and i was the more easily encouraged, because i thought it probable that i might find you alone, which i was very desirous of doing. my object--my wish--my sole wish in desiring it--i hope, i believe it is--is to be a means of giving comfort;--no, i must not say comfort--not present comfort--but conviction, lasting conviction to your sister's mind. my regard for her, for yourself, for your mother--will you allow me to prove it, by relating some circumstances which nothing but a _very_ sincere regard--nothing but an earnest desire of being useful--i think i am justified--though where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that i am right, is there not some reason to fear i may be wrong?" he stopped. "i understand you," said elinor. "you have something to tell me of mr. willoughby, that will open his character farther. your telling it will be the greatest act of friendship that can be shown marianne. _my_ gratitude will be insured immediately by any information tending to that end, and _hers_ must be gained by it in time. pray, pray let me hear it." "you shall; and, to be brief, when i quitted barton last october,--but this will give you no idea--i must go farther back. you will find me a very awkward narrator, miss dashwood; i hardly know where to begin. a short account of myself, i believe, will be necessary, and it _shall_ be a short one. on such a subject," sighing heavily, "can i have little temptation to be diffuse." he stopt a moment for recollection, and then, with another sigh, went on. "you have probably entirely forgotten a conversation--(it is not to be supposed that it could make any impression on you)--a conversation between us one evening at barton park--it was the evening of a dance--in which i alluded to a lady i had once known, as resembling, in some measure, your sister marianne." "indeed," answered elinor, "i have _not_ forgotten it." he looked pleased by this remembrance, and added-"if i am not deceived by the uncertainty, the partiality of tender recollection, there is a very strong resemblance between them, as well in mind as person. the same warmth of heart, the same eagerness of fancy and spirits. this lady was one of my nearest relations, an orphan from her infancy, and under the guardianship of my father. our ages were nearly the same, and from our earliest years we were playfellows and friends. i cannot remember the time when i did not love eliza; and my affection for her, as we grew up, was such, as perhaps, judging from my present forlorn and cheerless gravity, you might think me incapable of having ever felt. her's, for me, was, i believe, fervent as the attachment of your sister to mr. willoughby and it was, though from a different cause, no less unfortunate. at seventeen she was lost to me for ever. she was married--married against her inclination to my brother. her fortune was large, and our family estate much encumbered. and this, i fear, is all that can be said for the conduct of one, who was at once her uncle and guardian. my brother did not deserve her; he did not even love her. i had hoped that her regard for me would support her under any difficulty, and for some time it did; but at last the misery of her situation, for she experienced great unkindness, overcame all her resolution, and though she had promised me that nothing--but how blindly i relate! i have never told you how this was brought on. we were within a few hours of eloping together for scotland. the treachery, or the folly, of my cousin's maid betrayed us. i was banished to the house of a relation far distant, and she was allowed no liberty, no society, no amusement, till my father's point was gained. i had depended on her fortitude too far, and the blow was a severe one, but had her marriage been happy, so young as i then was, a few months must have reconciled me to it, or at least i should not have now to lament it. this however was not the case. my brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly. the consequence of this, upon a mind so young, so lively, so inexperienced as mrs. brandon's, was but too natural. she resigned herself at first to all the misery of her situation; and happy had it been if she had not lived to overcome those regrets which the remembrance of me occasioned. but can we wonder that, with such a husband to provoke inconstancy, and without a friend to advise or restrain her (for my father lived only a few months after their marriage, and i was with my regiment in the east indies) she should fall? had i remained in england, perhaps--but i meant to promote the happiness of both by removing from her for years, and for that purpose had procured my exchange. the shock which her marriage had given me," he continued, in a voice of great agitation, "was of trifling weight--was nothing to what i felt when i heard, about two years afterwards, of her divorce. it was _that_ which threw this gloom,--even now the recollection of what i suffered--" he could say no more, and rising hastily walked for a few minutes about the room. elinor, affected by his relation, and still more by his distress, could not speak. he saw her concern, and coming to her, took her hand, pressed it, and kissed it with grateful respect. a few minutes more of silent exertion enabled him to proceed with composure. "it was nearly three years after this unhappy period before i returned to england. my first care, when i _did_ arrive, was of course to seek for her; but the search was as fruitless as it was melancholy. i could not trace her beyond her first seducer, and there was every reason to fear that she had removed from him only to sink deeper in a life of sin. her legal allowance was not adequate to her fortune, nor sufficient for her comfortable maintenance, and i learnt from my brother that the power of receiving it had been made over some months before to another person. he imagined, and calmly could he imagine it, that her extravagance, and consequent distress, had obliged her to dispose of it for some immediate relief. at last, however, and after i had been six months in england, i _did_ find her. regard for a former servant of my own, who had since fallen into misfortune, carried me to visit him in a spunging-house, where he was confined for debt; and there, in the same house, under a similar confinement, was my unfortunate sister. so altered--so faded--worn down by acute suffering of every kind! hardly could i believe the melancholy and sickly figure before me, to be the remains of the lovely, blooming, healthful girl, on whom i had once doted. what i endured in so beholding her--but i have no right to wound your feelings by attempting to describe it--i have pained you too much already. that she was, to all appearance, in the last stage of a consumption, was--yes, in such a situation it was my greatest comfort. life could do nothing for her, beyond giving time for a better preparation for death; and that was given. i saw her placed in comfortable lodgings, and under proper attendants; i visited her every day during the rest of her short life: i was with her in her last moments." again he stopped to recover himself; and elinor spoke her feelings in an exclamation of tender concern, at the fate of his unfortunate friend. "your sister, i hope, cannot be offended," said he, "by the resemblance i have fancied between her and my poor disgraced relation. their fates, their fortunes, cannot be the same; and had the natural sweet disposition of the one been guarded by a firmer mind, or a happier marriage, she might have been all that you will live to see the other be. but to what does all this lead? i seem to have been distressing you for nothing. ah! miss dashwood--a subject such as this--untouched for fourteen years--it is dangerous to handle it at all! i _will_ be more collected--more concise. she left to my care her only child, a little girl, the offspring of her first guilty connection, who was then about three years old. she loved the child, and had always kept it with her. it was a valued, a precious trust to me; and gladly would i have discharged it in the strictest sense, by watching over her education myself, had the nature of our situations allowed it; but i had no family, no home; and my little eliza was therefore placed at school. i saw her there whenever i could, and after the death of my brother, (which happened about five years ago, and which left to me the possession of the family property,) she visited me at delaford. i called her a distant relation; but i am well aware that i have in general been suspected of a much nearer connection with her. it is now three years ago (she had just reached her fourteenth year,) that i removed her from school, to place her under the care of a very respectable woman, residing in dorsetshire, who had the charge of four or five other girls of about the same time of life; and for two years i had every reason to be pleased with her situation. but last february, almost a twelvemonth back, she suddenly disappeared. i had allowed her, (imprudently, as it has since turned out,) at her earnest desire, to go to bath with one of her young friends, who was attending her father there for his health. i knew him to be a very good sort of man, and i thought well of his daughter--better than she deserved, for, with a most obstinate and ill-judged secrecy, she would tell nothing, would give no clue, though she certainly knew all. he, her father, a well-meaning, but not a quick-sighted man, could really, i believe, give no information; for he had been generally confined to the house, while the girls were ranging over the town and making what acquaintance they chose; and he tried to convince me, as thoroughly as he was convinced himself, of his daughter's being entirely unconcerned in the business. in short, i could learn nothing but that she was gone; all the rest, for eight long months, was left to conjecture. what i thought, what i feared, may be imagined; and what i suffered too." "good heavens!" cried elinor, "could it be--could willoughby!"-"the first news that reached me of her," he continued, "came in a letter from herself, last october. it was forwarded to me from delaford, and i received it on the very morning of our intended party to whitwell; and this was the reason of my leaving barton so suddenly, which i am sure must at the time have appeared strange to every body, and which i believe gave offence to some. little did mr. willoughby imagine, i suppose, when his looks censured me for incivility in breaking up the party, that i was called away to the relief of one whom he had made poor and miserable; but _had_ he known it, what would it have availed? would he have been less gay or less happy in the smiles of your sister? no, he had already done that, which no man who _can_ feel for another would do. he had left the girl whose youth and innocence he had seduced, in a situation of the utmost distress, with no creditable home, no help, no friends, ignorant of his address! he had left her, promising to return; he neither returned, nor wrote, nor relieved her." "this is beyond every thing!" exclaimed elinor. "his character is now before you; expensive, dissipated, and worse than both. knowing all this, as i have now known it many weeks, guess what i must have felt on seeing your sister as fond of him as ever, and on being assured that she was to marry him: guess what i must have felt for all your sakes. when i came to you last week and found you alone, i came determined to know the truth; though irresolute what to do when it _was_ known. my behaviour must have seemed strange to you then; but now you will comprehend it. to suffer you all to be so deceived; to see your sister--but what could i do? i had no hope of interfering with success; and sometimes i thought your sister's influence might yet reclaim him. but now, after such dishonorable usage, who can tell what were his designs on her. whatever they may have been, however, she may now, and hereafter doubtless _will_, turn with gratitude towards her own condition, when she compares it with that of my poor eliza, when she considers the wretched and hopeless situation of this poor girl, and pictures her to herself, with an affection for him so strong, still as strong as her own, and with a mind tormented by self-reproach, which must attend her through life. surely this comparison must have its use with her. she will feel her own sufferings to be nothing. they proceed from no misconduct, and can bring no disgrace. on the contrary, every friend must be made still more her friend by them. concern for her unhappiness, and respect for her fortitude under it, must strengthen every attachment. use your own discretion, however, in communicating to her what i have told you. you must know best what will be its effect; but had i not seriously, and from my heart believed it might be of service, might lessen her regrets, i would not have suffered myself to trouble you with this account of my family afflictions, with a recital which may seem to have been intended to raise myself at the expense of others." elinor's thanks followed this speech with grateful earnestness; attended too with the assurance of her expecting material advantage to marianne, from the communication of what had passed. "i have been more pained," said she, "by her endeavors to acquit him than by all the rest; for it irritates her mind more than the most perfect conviction of his unworthiness can do. now, though at first she will suffer much, i am sure she will soon become easier. have you," she continued, after a short silence, "ever seen mr. willoughby since you left him at barton?" "yes," he replied gravely, "once i have. one meeting was unavoidable." elinor, startled by his manner, looked at him anxiously, saying-"what? have you met him to--" "i could meet him no other way. eliza had confessed to me, though most reluctantly, the name of her lover; and when he returned to town, which was within a fortnight after myself, we met by appointment, he to defend, i to punish his conduct. we returned unwounded, and the meeting, therefore, never got abroad." elinor sighed over the fancied necessity of this; but to a man and a soldier she presumed not to censure it. "such," said colonel brandon, after a pause, "has been the unhappy resemblance between the fate of mother and daughter! and so imperfectly have i discharged my trust!" "is she still in town?" "no; as soon as she recovered from her lying-in, for i found her near her delivery, i removed her and her child into the country, and there she remains." recollecting, soon afterwards, that he was probably dividing elinor from her sister, he put an end to his visit, receiving from her again the same grateful acknowledgments, and leaving her full of compassion and esteem for him. chapter xxxii when the particulars of this conversation were repeated by miss dashwood to her sister, as they very soon were, the effect on her was not entirely such as the former had hoped to see. not that marianne appeared to distrust the truth of any part of it, for she listened to it all with the most steady and submissive attention, made neither objection nor remark, attempted no vindication of willoughby, and seemed to show by her tears that she felt it to be impossible. but though this behaviour assured elinor that the conviction of this guilt _was_ carried home to her mind, though she saw with satisfaction the effect of it, in her no longer avoiding colonel brandon when he called, in her speaking to him, even voluntarily speaking, with a kind of compassionate respect, and though she saw her spirits less violently irritated than before, she did not see her less wretched. her mind did become settled, but it was settled in a gloomy dejection. she felt the loss of willoughby's character yet more heavily than she had felt the loss of his heart; his seduction and desertion of miss williams, the misery of that poor girl, and the doubt of what his designs might _once_ have been on herself, preyed altogether so much on her spirits, that she could not bring herself to speak of what she felt even to elinor; and, brooding over her sorrows in silence, gave more pain to her sister than could have been communicated by the most open and most frequent confession of them. to give the feelings or the language of mrs. dashwood on receiving and answering elinor's letter would be only to give a repetition of what her daughters had already felt and said; of a disappointment hardly less painful than marianne's, and an indignation even greater than elinor's. long letters from her, quickly succeeding each other, arrived to tell all that she suffered and thought; to express her anxious solicitude for marianne, and entreat she would bear up with fortitude under this misfortune. bad indeed must the nature of marianne's affliction be, when her mother could talk of fortitude! mortifying and humiliating must be the origin of those regrets, which _she_ could wish her not to indulge! against the interest of her own individual comfort, mrs. dashwood had determined that it would be better for marianne to be any where, at that time, than at barton, where every thing within her view would be bringing back the past in the strongest and most afflicting manner, by constantly placing willoughby before her, such as she had always seen him there. she recommended it to her daughters, therefore, by all means not to shorten their visit to mrs. jennings; the length of which, though never exactly fixed, had been expected by all to comprise at least five or six weeks. a variety of occupations, of objects, and of company, which could not be procured at barton, would be inevitable there, and might yet, she hoped, cheat marianne, at times, into some interest beyond herself, and even into some amusement, much as the ideas of both might now be spurned by her. from all danger of seeing willoughby again, her mother considered her to be at least equally safe in town as in the country, since his acquaintance must now be dropped by all who called themselves her friends. design could never bring them in each other's way: negligence could never leave them exposed to a surprise; and chance had less in its favour in the crowd of london than even in the retirement of barton, where it might force him before her while paying that visit at allenham on his marriage, which mrs. dashwood, from foreseeing at first as a probable event, had brought herself to expect as a certain one. she had yet another reason for wishing her children to remain where they were; a letter from her son-in-law had told her that he and his wife were to be in town before the middle of february, and she judged it right that they should sometimes see their brother. marianne had promised to be guided by her mother's opinion, and she submitted to it therefore without opposition, though it proved perfectly different from what she wished and expected, though she felt it to be entirely wrong, formed on mistaken grounds, and that by requiring her longer continuance in london it deprived her of the only possible alleviation of her wretchedness, the personal sympathy of her mother, and doomed her to such society and such scenes as must prevent her ever knowing a moment's rest. but it was a matter of great consolation to her, that what brought evil to herself would bring good to her sister; and elinor, on the other hand, suspecting that it would not be in her power to avoid edward entirely, comforted herself by thinking, that though their longer stay would therefore militate against her own happiness, it would be better for marianne than an immediate return into devonshire. her carefulness in guarding her sister from ever hearing willoughby's name mentioned, was not thrown away. marianne, though without knowing it herself, reaped all its advantage; for neither mrs. jennings, nor sir john, nor even mrs. palmer herself, ever spoke of him before her. elinor wished that the same forbearance could have extended towards herself, but that was impossible, and she was obliged to listen day after day to the indignation of them all. sir john, could not have thought it possible. "a man of whom he had always had such reason to think well! such a good-natured fellow! he did not believe there was a bolder rider in england! it was an unaccountable business. he wished him at the devil with all his heart. he would not speak another word to him, meet him where he might, for all the world! no, not if it were to be by the side of barton covert, and they were kept watching for two hours together. such a scoundrel of a fellow! such a deceitful dog! it was only the last time they met that he had offered him one of folly's puppies! and this was the end of it!" mrs. palmer, in her way, was equally angry. "she was determined to drop his acquaintance immediately, and she was very thankful that she had never been acquainted with him at all. she wished with all her heart combe magna was not so near cleveland; but it did not signify, for it was a great deal too far off to visit; she hated him so much that she was resolved never to mention his name again, and she should tell everybody she saw, how good-for-nothing he was." the rest of mrs. palmer's sympathy was shown in procuring all the particulars in her power of the approaching marriage, and communicating them to elinor. she could soon tell at what coachmaker's the new carriage was building, by what painter mr. willoughby's portrait was drawn, and at what warehouse miss grey's clothes might be seen. [illustration: _offered him one of folly's puppies._] the calm and polite unconcern of lady middleton on the occasion was a happy relief to elinor's spirits, oppressed as they often were by the clamorous kindness of the others. it was a great comfort to her to be sure of exciting no interest in _one_ person at least among their circle of friends: a great comfort to know that there was _one_ who would meet her without feeling any curiosity after particulars, or any anxiety for her sister's health. every qualification is raised at times, by the circumstances of the moment, to more than its real value; and she was sometimes worried down by officious condolence to rate good-breeding as more indispensable to comfort than good-nature. lady middleton expressed her sense of the affair about once every day, or twice, if the subject occurred very often, by saying, "it is very shocking, indeed!" and by the means of this continual though gentle vent, was able not only to see the miss dashwoods from the first without the smallest emotion, but very soon to see them without recollecting a word of the matter; and having thus supported the dignity of her own sex, and spoken her decided censure of what was wrong in the other, she thought herself at liberty to attend to the interest of her own assemblies, and therefore determined (though rather against the opinion of sir john) that as mrs. willoughby would at once be a woman of elegance and fortune, to leave her card with her as soon as she married. colonel brandon's delicate, unobtrusive enquiries were never unwelcome to miss dashwood. he had abundantly earned the privilege of intimate discussion of her sister's disappointment, by the friendly zeal with which he had endeavoured to soften it, and they always conversed with confidence. his chief reward for the painful exertion of disclosing past sorrows and present humiliations, was given in the pitying eye with which marianne sometimes observed him, and the gentleness of her voice whenever (though it did not often happen) she was obliged, or could oblige herself to speak to him. _these_ assured him that his exertion had produced an increase of good-will towards himself, and _these_ gave elinor hopes of its being farther augmented hereafter; but mrs. jennings, who knew nothing of all this, who knew only that the colonel continued as grave as ever, and that she could neither prevail on him to make the offer himself, nor commission her to make it for him, began, at the end of two days, to think that, instead of mid-summer, they would not be married till michaelmas, and by the end of a week that it would not be a match at all. the good understanding between the colonel and miss dashwood seemed rather to declare that the honours of the mulberry-tree, the canal, and the yew arbour, would all be made over to _her_; and mrs. jennings had, for some time ceased to think at all of mrs. ferrars. early in february, within a fortnight from the receipt of willoughby's letter, elinor had the painful office of informing her sister that he was married. she had taken care to have the intelligence conveyed to herself, as soon as it was known that the ceremony was over, as she was desirous that marianne should not receive the first notice of it from the public papers, which she saw her eagerly examining every morning. she received the news with resolute composure; made no observation on it, and at first shed no tears; but after a short time they would burst out, and for the rest of the day, she was in a state hardly less pitiable than when she first learnt to expect the event. the willoughbys left town as soon as they were married; and elinor now hoped, as there could be no danger of her seeing either of them, to prevail on her sister, who had never yet left the house since the blow first fell, to go out again by degrees as she had done before. about this time the two miss steeles, lately arrived at their cousin's house in bartlett's buildings, holborn, presented themselves again before their more grand relations in conduit and berkeley streets; and were welcomed by them all with great cordiality. elinor only was sorry to see them. their presence always gave her pain, and she hardly knew how to make a very gracious return to the overpowering delight of lucy in finding her _still_ in town. "i should have been quite disappointed if i had not found you here _still_," said she repeatedly, with a strong emphasis on the word. "but i always thought i _should_ i was almost sure you would not leave london yet awhile; though you _told_ me, you know, at barton, that you should not stay above a _month._ but i thought, at the time, that you would most likely change your mind when it came to the point. it would have been such a great pity to have went away before your brother and sister came. and now to be sure you will be in no _hurry_ to be gone. i am amazingly glad you did not keep to _your word._" elinor perfectly understood her, and was forced to use all her self-command to make it appear that she did _not._ "well, my dear," said mrs. jennings, "and how did you travel?" "not in the stage, i assure you," replied miss steele, with quick exultation; "we came post all the way, and had a very smart beau to attend us. dr. davies was coming to town, and so we thought we'd join him in a post-chaise; and he behaved very genteelly, and paid ten or twelve shillings more than we did." "oh, oh!" cried mrs. jennings; "very pretty, indeed! and the doctor is a single man, i warrant you." "there now," said miss steele, affectedly simpering, "everybody laughs at me so about the doctor, and i cannot think why. my cousins say they are sure i have made a conquest; but for my part i declare i never think about him from one hour's end to another. 'lord! here comes your beau, nancy,' my cousin said t'other day, when she saw him crossing the street to the house. my beau, indeed! said i--i cannot think who you mean. the doctor is no beau of mine." "aye, aye, that is very pretty talking--but it won't do--the doctor is the man, i see." "no, indeed!" replied her cousin, with affected earnestness, "and i beg you will contradict it, if you ever hear it talked of." mrs. jennings directly gave her the gratifying assurance that she certainly would _not_, and miss steele was made completely happy. "i suppose you will go and stay with your brother and sister, miss dashwood, when they come to town," said lucy, returning, after a cessation of hostile hints, to the charge. "no, i do not think we shall." "oh, yes, i dare say you will." elinor would not humour her by farther opposition. "what a charming thing it is that mrs. dashwood can spare you both for so long a time together!" "long a time, indeed!" interposed mrs. jennings. "why, their visit is but just begun!" [illustration: _a very smart beau._] lucy was silenced. "i am sorry we cannot see your sister, miss dashwood," said miss steele. "i am sorry she is not well--" for marianne had left the room on their arrival. "you are very good. my sister will be equally sorry to miss the pleasure of seeing you; but she has been very much plagued lately with nervous head-aches, which make her unfit for company or conversation." "oh, dear, that is a great pity! but such old friends as lucy and me!--i think she might see _us_; and i am sure we would not speak a word." elinor, with great civility, declined the proposal. her sister was perhaps laid down upon the bed, or in her dressing gown, and therefore not able to come to them. "oh, if that's all," cried miss steele, "we can just as well go and see _her._" elinor began to find this impertinence too much for her temper; but she was saved the trouble of checking it, by lucy's sharp reprimand, which now, as on many occasions, though it did not give much sweetness to the manners of one sister, was of advantage in governing those of the other. chapter xxxiii after some opposition, marianne yielded to her sister's entreaties, and consented to go out with her and mrs. jennings one morning for half an hour. she expressly conditioned, however, for paying no visits, and would do no more than accompany them to gray's in sackville street, where elinor was carrying on a negotiation for the exchange of a few old-fashioned jewels of her mother. when they stopped at the door, mrs. jennings recollected that there was a lady at the other end of the street on whom she ought to call; and as she had no business at gray's, it was resolved, that while her young friends transacted their's, she should pay her visit and return for them. on ascending the stairs, the miss dashwoods found so many people before them in the room, that there was not a person at liberty to tend to their orders; and they were obliged to wait. all that could be done was, to sit down at that end of the counter which seemed to promise the quickest succession; one gentleman only was standing there, and it is probable that elinor was not without hope of exciting his politeness to a quicker despatch. but the correctness of his eye, and the delicacy of his taste, proved to be beyond his politeness. he was giving orders for a toothpick-case for himself, and till its size, shape, and ornaments were determined, all of which, after examining and debating for a quarter of an hour over every toothpick-case in the shop, were finally arranged by his own inventive fancy, he had no leisure to bestow any other attention on the two ladies, than what was comprised in three or four very broad stares; a kind of notice which served to imprint on elinor the remembrance of a person and face, of strong, natural, sterling insignificance, though adorned in the first style of fashion. marianne was spared from the troublesome feelings of contempt and resentment, on this impertinent examination of their features, and on the puppyism of his manner in deciding on all the different horrors of the different toothpick-cases presented to his inspection, by remaining unconscious of it all; for she was as well able to collect her thoughts within herself, and be as ignorant of what was passing around her, in mr. gray's shop, as in her own bedroom. at last the affair was decided. the ivory, the gold, and the pearls, all received their appointment, and the gentleman having named the last day on which his existence could be continued without the possession of the toothpick-case, drew on his gloves with leisurely care, and bestowing another glance on the miss dashwoods, but such a one as seemed rather to demand than express admiration, walked off with a happy air of real conceit and affected indifference. elinor lost no time in bringing her business forward, was on the point of concluding it, when another gentleman presented himself at her side. she turned her eyes towards his face, and found him with some surprise to be her brother. [illustration: _introduced to mrs. jennings._] their affection and pleasure in meeting was just enough to make a very creditable appearance in mr. gray's shop. john dashwood was really far from being sorry to see his sisters again; it rather gave them satisfaction; and his inquiries after their mother were respectful and attentive. elinor found that he and fanny had been in town two days. "i wished very much to call upon you yesterday," said he, "but it was impossible, for we were obliged to take harry to see the wild beasts at exeter exchange; and we spent the rest of the day with mrs. ferrars. harry was vastly pleased. _this_ morning i had fully intended to call on you, if i could possibly find a spare half hour, but one has always so much to do on first coming to town. i am come here to bespeak fanny a seal. but tomorrow i think i shall certainly be able to call in berkeley street, and be introduced to your friend mrs. jennings. i understand she is a woman of very good fortune. and the middletons too, you must introduce me to _them_. as my mother-in-law's relations, i shall be happy to show them every respect. they are excellent neighbours to you in the country, i understand." "excellent indeed. their attention to our comfort, their friendliness in every particular, is more than i can express." "i am extremely glad to hear it, upon my word; extremely glad indeed. but so it ought to be; they are people of large fortune, they are related to you, and every civility and accommodation that can serve to make your situation pleasant might be reasonably expected. and so you are most comfortably settled in your little cottage and want for nothing! edward brought us a most charming account of the place: the most complete thing of its kind, he said, that ever was, and you all seemed to enjoy it beyond any thing. it was a great satisfaction to us to hear it, i assure you." elinor did feel a little ashamed of her brother; and was not sorry to be spared the necessity of answering him, by the arrival of mrs. jennings's servant, who came to tell her that his mistress waited for them at the door. mr. dashwood attended them down stairs, was introduced to mrs. jennings at the door of her carriage, and repeating his hope of being able to call on them the next day, took leave. [illustration: _mrs. jennings assured him directly that she should not stand upon ceremony._] his visit was duly paid. he came with a pretence at an apology from their sister-in-law, for not coming too; "but she was so much engaged with her mother, that really she had no leisure for going any where." mrs. jennings, however, assured him directly, that she should not stand upon ceremony, for they were all cousins, or something like it, and she should certainly wait on mrs. john dashwood very soon, and bring her sisters to see her. his manners to _them_, though calm, were perfectly kind; to mrs. jennings, most attentively civil; and on colonel brandon's coming in soon after himself, he eyed him with a curiosity which seemed to say, that he only wanted to know him to be rich, to be equally civil to _him._ after staying with them half an hour, he asked elinor to walk with him to conduit street, and introduce him to sir john and lady middleton. the weather was remarkably fine, and she readily consented. as soon as they were out of the house, his enquiries began. "who is colonel brandon? is he a man of fortune?" "yes; he has very good property in dorsetshire." "i am glad of it. he seems a most gentlemanlike man; and i think, elinor, i may congratulate you on the prospect of a very respectable establishment in life." "me, brother! what do you mean?" "he likes you. i observed him narrowly, and am convinced of it. what is the amount of his fortune?" "i believe about two thousand a year." "two thousand a-year;" and then working himself up to a pitch of enthusiastic generosity, he added, "elinor, i wish with all my heart it were _twice_ as much, for your sake." "indeed i believe you," replied elinor; "but i am very sure that colonel brandon has not the smallest wish of marrying _me._ "you are mistaken, elinor; you are very much mistaken. a very little trouble on your side secures him. perhaps just at present he may be undecided; the smallness of your fortune may make him hang back; his friends may all advise him against it. but some of those little attentions and encouragements which ladies can so easily give will fix him, in spite of himself. and there can be no reason why you should not try for him. it is not to be supposed that any prior attachment on your side--in short, you know as to an attachment of that kind, it is quite out of the question, the objections are insurmountable--you have too much sense not to see all that. colonel brandon must be the man; and no civility shall be wanting on my part to make him pleased with you and your family. it is a match that must give universal satisfaction. in short, it is a kind of thing that," lowering his voice to an important whisper, "will be exceedingly welcome to _all parties._" recollecting himself, however, he added, "that is, i mean to say--your friends are all truly anxious to see you well settled; fanny particularly, for she has your interest very much at heart, i assure you. and her mother too, mrs. ferrars, a very good-natured woman, i am sure it would give her great pleasure; she said as much the other day." elinor would not vouchsafe any answer. "it would be something remarkable, now," he continued, "something droll, if fanny should have a brother and i a sister settling at the same time. and yet it is not very unlikely." "is mr. edward ferrars," said elinor, with resolution, "going to be married?" "it is not actually settled, but there is such a thing in agitation. he has a most excellent mother. mrs. ferrars, with the utmost liberality, will come forward, and settle on him a thousand a year, if the match takes place. the lady is the hon. miss morton, only daughter of the late lord morton, with thirty thousand pounds. a very desirable connection on both sides, and i have not a doubt of its taking place in time. a thousand a-year is a great deal for a mother to give away, to make over for ever; but mrs. ferrars has a noble spirit. to give you another instance of her liberality:--the other day, as soon as we came to town, aware that money could not be very plenty with us just now, she put bank-notes into fanny's hands to the amount of two hundred pounds. and extremely acceptable it is, for we must live at a great expense while we are here." he paused for her assent and compassion; and she forced herself to say-"your expenses both in town and country must certainly be considerable; but your income is a large one." "not so large, i dare say, as many people suppose. i do not mean to complain, however; it is undoubtedly a comfortable one, and i hope will in time be better. the enclosure of norland common, now carrying on, is a most serious drain. and then i have made a little purchase within this half year; east kingham farm, you must remember the place, where old gibson used to live. the land was so very desirable for me in every respect, so immediately adjoining my own property, that i felt it my duty to buy it. i could not have answered it to my conscience to let it fall into any other hands. a man must pay for his convenience; and it _has_ cost me a vast deal of money." "more than you think it really and intrinsically worth." "why, i hope not that. i might have sold it again, the next day, for more than i gave: but, with regard to the purchase-money, i might have been very unfortunate indeed; for the stocks were at that time so low, that if i had not happened to have the necessary sum in my banker's hands, i must have sold out to very great loss." elinor could only smile. "other great and inevitable expenses too we have had on first coming to norland. our respected father, as you well know, bequeathed all the stanhill effects that remained at norland (and very valuable they were) to your mother. far be it from me to repine at his doing so; he had an undoubted right to dispose of his own property as he chose, but, in consequence of it, we have been obliged to make large purchases of linen, china, &c. to supply the place of what was taken away. you may guess, after all these expenses, how very far we must be from being rich, and how acceptable mrs. ferrars's kindness is." "certainly," said elinor; "and assisted by her liberality, i hope you may yet live to be in easy circumstances." "another year or two may do much towards it," he gravely replied; "but however there is still a great deal to be done. there is not a stone laid of fanny's green-house, and nothing but the plan of the flower-garden marked out." "where is the green-house to be?" "upon the knoll behind the house. the old walnut trees are all come down to make room for it. it will be a very fine object from many parts of the park, and the flower-garden will slope down just before it, and be exceedingly pretty. we have cleared away all the old thorns that grew in patches over the brow." elinor kept her concern and her censure to herself; and was very thankful that marianne was not present, to share the provocation. having now said enough to make his poverty clear, and to do away the necessity of buying a pair of ear-rings for each of his sisters, in his next visit at gray's his thoughts took a cheerfuller turn, and he began to congratulate elinor on having such a friend as mrs. jennings. "she seems a most valuable woman indeed--her house, her style of living, all bespeak an exceeding good income; and it is an acquaintance that has not only been of great use to you hitherto, but in the end may prove materially advantageous. her inviting you to town is certainly a vast thing in your favour; and indeed, it speaks altogether so great a regard for you, that in all probability when she dies you will not be forgotten. she must have a great deal to leave." "nothing at all, i should rather suppose; for she has only her jointure, which will descend to her children." "but it is not to be imagined that she lives up to her income. few people of common prudence will do _that_; and whatever she saves, she will be able to dispose of." "and do you not think it more likely that she should leave it to her daughters, than to us?" "her daughters are both exceedingly well married, and therefore i cannot perceive the necessity of her remembering them farther. whereas, in my opinion, by her taking so much notice of you, and treating you in this kind of way, she has given you a sort of claim on her future consideration, which a conscientious woman would not disregard. nothing can be kinder than her behaviour; and she can hardly do all this, without being aware of the expectation it raises." "but she raises none in those most concerned. indeed, brother, your anxiety for our welfare and prosperity carries you too far." "why, to be sure," said he, seeming to recollect himself, "people have little, have very little in their power. but, my dear elinor, what is the matter with marianne?--she looks very unwell, has lost her colour, and is grown quite thin. is she ill?" "she is not well, she has had a nervous complaint on her for several weeks." "i am sorry for that. at her time of life, any thing of an illness destroys the bloom for ever! her's has been a very short one! she was as handsome a girl last september, as i ever saw; and as likely to attract the man. there was something in her style of beauty, to please them particularly. i remember fanny used to say that she would marry sooner and better than you did; not but what she is exceedingly fond of _you_, but so it happened to strike her. she will be mistaken, however. i question whether marianne _now_, will marry a man worth more than five or six hundred a-year, at the utmost, and i am very much deceived if _you_ do not do better. dorsetshire! i know very little of dorsetshire; but, my dear elinor, i shall be exceedingly glad to know more of it; and i think i can answer for your having fanny and myself among the earliest and best pleased of your visitors." elinor tried very seriously to convince him that there was no likelihood of her marrying colonel brandon; but it was an expectation of too much pleasure to himself to be relinquished, and he was really resolved on seeking an intimacy with that gentleman, and promoting the marriage by every possible attention. he had just compunction enough for having done nothing for his sisters himself, to be exceedingly anxious that everybody else should do a great deal; and an offer from colonel brandon, or a legacy from mrs. jennings, was the easiest means of atoning for his own neglect. they were lucky enough to find lady middleton at home, and sir john came in before their visit ended. abundance of civilities passed on all sides. sir john was ready to like anybody, and though mr. dashwood did not seem to know much about horses, he soon set him down as a very good-natured fellow: while lady middleton saw enough of fashion in his appearance to think his acquaintance worth having; and mr. dashwood went away delighted with both. "i shall have a charming account to carry to fanny," said he, as he walked back with his sister. "lady middleton is really a most elegant woman! such a woman as i am sure fanny will be glad to know. and mrs. jennings too, an exceedingly well-behaved woman, though not so elegant as her daughter. your sister need not have any scruple even of visiting _her_, which, to say the truth, has been a little the case, and very naturally; for we only knew that mrs. jennings was the widow of a man who had got all his money in a low way; and fanny and mrs. ferrars were both strongly prepossessed, that neither she nor her daughters were such kind of women as fanny would like to associate with. but now i can carry her a most satisfactory account of both." chapter xxxiv mrs. john dashwood had so much confidence in her husband's judgment, that she waited the very next day both on mrs. jennings and her daughter; and her confidence was rewarded by finding even the former, even the woman with whom her sisters were staying, by no means unworthy her notice; and as for lady middleton, she found her one of the most charming women in the world! lady middleton was equally pleased with mrs. dashwood. there was a kind of cold hearted selfishness on both sides, which mutually attracted them; and they sympathised with each other in an insipid propriety of demeanor, and a general want of understanding. the same manners, however, which recommended mrs. john dashwood to the good opinion of lady middleton did not suit the fancy of mrs. jennings, and to _her_ she appeared nothing more than a little proud-looking woman of uncordial address, who met her husband's sisters without any affection, and almost without having anything to say to them; for of the quarter of an hour bestowed on berkeley street, she sat at least seven minutes and a half in silence. elinor wanted very much to know, though she did not choose to ask, whether edward was then in town; but nothing would have induced fanny voluntarily to mention his name before her, till able to tell her that his marriage with miss morton was resolved on, or till her husband's expectations on colonel brandon were answered; because she believed them still so very much attached to each other, that they could not be too sedulously divided in word and deed on every occasion. the intelligence however, which _she_ would not give, soon flowed from another quarter. lucy came very shortly to claim elinor's compassion on being unable to see edward, though he had arrived in town with mr. and mrs. dashwood. he dared not come to bartlett's buildings for fear of detection, and though their mutual impatience to meet, was not to be told, they could do nothing at present but write. edward assured them himself of his being in town, within a very short time, by twice calling in berkeley street. twice was his card found on the table, when they returned from their morning's engagements. elinor was pleased that he had called; and still more pleased that she had missed him. the dashwoods were so prodigiously delighted with the middletons, that, though not much in the habit of giving anything, they determined to give them--a dinner; and soon after their acquaintance began, invited them to dine in harley street, where they had taken a very good house for three months. their sisters and mrs. jennings were invited likewise, and john dashwood was careful to secure colonel brandon, who, always glad to be where the miss dashwoods were, received his eager civilities with some surprise, but much more pleasure. they were to meet mrs. ferrars; but elinor could not learn whether her sons were to be of the party. the expectation of seeing _her_, however, was enough to make her interested in the engagement; for though she could now meet edward's mother without that strong anxiety which had once promised to attend such an introduction, though she could now see her with perfect indifference as to her opinion of herself, her desire of being in company with mrs. ferrars, her curiosity to know what she was like, was as lively as ever. the interest with which she thus anticipated the party, was soon afterwards increased, more powerfully than pleasantly, by her hearing that the miss steeles were also to be at it. so well had they recommended themselves to lady middleton, so agreeable had their assiduities made them to her, that though lucy was certainly not so elegant, and her sister not even genteel, she was as ready as sir john to ask them to spend a week or two in conduit street; and it happened to be particularly convenient to the miss steeles, as soon as the dashwoods' invitation was known, that their visit should begin a few days before the party took place. their claims to the notice of mrs. john dashwood, as the nieces of the gentleman who for many years had had the care of her brother, might not have done much, however, towards procuring them seats at her table; but as lady middleton's guests they must be welcome; and lucy, who had long wanted to be personally known to the family, to have a nearer view of their characters and her own difficulties, and to have an opportunity of endeavouring to please them, had seldom been happier in her life, than she was on receiving mrs. john dashwood's card. on elinor its effect was very different. she began immediately to determine, that edward who lived with his mother, must be asked as his mother was, to a party given by his sister; and to see him for the first time, after all that passed, in the company of lucy!--she hardly knew how she could bear it! these apprehensions, perhaps, were not founded entirely on reason, and certainly not at all on truth. they were relieved however, not by her own recollection, but by the good will of lucy, who believed herself to be inflicting a severe disappointment when she told her that edward certainly would not be in harley street on tuesday, and even hoped to be carrying the pain still farther by persuading her that he was kept away by the extreme affection for herself, which he could not conceal when they were together. the important tuesday came that was to introduce the two young ladies to this formidable mother-in-law. "pity me, dear miss dashwood!" said lucy, as they walked up the stairs together--for the middletons arrived so directly after mrs. jennings, that they all followed the servant at the same time--"there is nobody here but you, that can feel for me. i declare i can hardly stand. good gracious!--in a moment i shall see the person that all my happiness depends on--that is to be my mother!"-elinor could have given her immediate relief by suggesting the possibility of its being miss morton's mother, rather than her own, whom they were about to behold; but instead of doing that, she assured her, and with great sincerity, that she did pity her--to the utter amazement of lucy, who, though really uncomfortable herself, hoped at least to be an object of irrepressible envy to elinor. mrs. ferrars was a little, thin woman, upright, even to formality, in her figure, and serious, even to sourness, in her aspect. her complexion was sallow; and her features small, without beauty, and naturally without expression; but a lucky contraction of the brow had rescued her countenance from the disgrace of insipidity, by giving it the strong characters of pride and ill nature. she was not a woman of many words; for, unlike people in general, she proportioned them to the number of her ideas; and of the few syllables that did escape her, not one fell to the share of miss dashwood, whom she eyed with the spirited determination of disliking her at all events. elinor could not _now_ be made unhappy by this behaviour. a few months ago it would have hurt her exceedingly; but it was not in mrs. ferrars' power to distress her by it now; and the difference of her manners to the miss steeles, a difference which seemed purposely made to humble her more, only amused her. she could not but smile to see the graciousness of both mother and daughter towards the very person--for lucy was particularly distinguished--whom of all others, had they known as much as she did, they would have been most anxious to mortify; while she herself, who had comparatively no power to wound them, sat pointedly slighted by both. but while she smiled at a graciousness so misapplied, she could not reflect on the mean-spirited folly from which it sprung, nor observe the studied attentions with which the miss steeles courted its continuance, without thoroughly despising them all four. lucy was all exultation on being so honorably distinguished; and miss steele wanted only to be teased about dr. davies to be perfectly happy. the dinner was a grand one, the servants were numerous, and every thing bespoke the mistress's inclination for show, and the master's ability to support it. in spite of the improvements and additions which were making to the norland estate, and in spite of its owner having once been within some thousand pounds of being obliged to sell out at a loss, nothing gave any symptom of that indigence which he had tried to infer from it; no poverty of any kind, except of conversation, appeared; but there, the deficiency was considerable. john dashwood had not much to say for himself that was worth hearing, and his wife had still less. but there was no peculiar disgrace in this; for it was very much the case with the chief of their visitors, who almost all laboured under one or other of these disqualifications for being agreeable--want of sense, either natural or improved--want of elegance--want of spirits--or want of temper. when the ladies withdrew to the drawing-room after dinner, this poverty was particularly evident, for the gentlemen _had_ supplied the discourse with some variety--the variety of politics, inclosing land, and breaking horses--but then it was all over; and one subject only engaged the ladies till coffee came in, which was the comparative heights of harry dashwood, and lady middleton's second son william, who were nearly of the same age. had both the children been there, the affair might have been determined too easily by measuring them at once; but as harry only was present, it was all conjectural assertion on both sides; and every body had a right to be equally positive in their opinion, and to repeat it over and over again as often as they liked. the parties stood thus:-the two mothers, though each really convinced that her own son was the tallest, politely decided in favour of the other. the two grandmothers, with not less partiality, but more sincerity, were equally earnest in support of their own descendant. lucy, who was hardly less anxious to please one parent than the other, thought the boys were both remarkably tall for their age, and could not conceive that there could be the smallest difference in the world between them; and miss steele, with yet greater address gave it, as fast as she could, in favour of each. elinor, having once delivered her opinion on william's side, by which she offended mrs. ferrars and fanny still more, did not see the necessity of enforcing it by any farther assertion; and marianne, when called on for her's, offended them all, by declaring that she had no opinion to give, as she had never thought about it. before her removing from norland, elinor had painted a very pretty pair of screens for her sister-in-law, which being now just mounted and brought home, ornamented her present drawing room; and these screens, catching the eye of john dashwood on his following the other gentlemen into the room, were officiously handed by him to colonel brandon for his admiration. "these are done by my eldest sister," said he; "and you, as a man of taste, will, i dare say, be pleased with them. i do not know whether you have ever happened to see any of her performances before, but she is in general reckoned to draw extremely well." the colonel, though disclaiming all pretensions to connoisseurship, warmly admired the screens, as he would have done any thing painted by miss dashwood; and on the curiosity of the others being of course excited, they were handed round for general inspection. mrs. ferrars, not aware of their being elinor's work, particularly requested to look at them; and after they had received gratifying testimony of lady middleton's approbation, fanny presented them to her mother, considerately informing her, at the same time, that they were done by miss dashwood. "hum"--said mrs. ferrars--"very pretty,"--and without regarding them at all, returned them to her daughter. perhaps fanny thought for a moment that her mother had been quite rude enough,--for, colouring a little, she immediately said-"they are very pretty, ma'am--an't they?" but then again, the dread of having been too civil, too encouraging herself, probably came over her, for she presently added, "do you not think they are something in miss morton's style of painting, ma'am?--she _does_ paint most delightfully!--how beautifully her last landscape is done!" "beautifully indeed! but _she_ does every thing well." marianne could not bear this. she was already greatly displeased with mrs. ferrars; and such ill-timed praise of another, at elinor's expense, though she had not any notion of what was principally meant by it, provoked her immediately to say with warmth-"this is admiration of a very particular kind! what is miss morton to us? who knows, or who cares, for her?--it is elinor of whom _we_ think and speak." and so saying, she took the screens out of her sister-in-law's hands, to admire them herself as they ought to be admired. [illustration: _mrs. ferrars._] mrs. ferrars looked exceedingly angry, and drawing herself up more stiffly than ever, pronounced in retort this bitter philippic, "miss morton is lord morton's daughter." fanny looked very angry too, and her husband was all in a fright at his sister's audacity. elinor was much more hurt by marianne's warmth than she had been by what produced it; but colonel brandon's eyes, as they were fixed on marianne, declared that he noticed only what was amiable in it, the affectionate heart which could not bear to see a sister slighted in the smallest point. marianne's feelings did not stop here. the cold insolence of mrs. ferrars's general behaviour to her sister, seemed, to her, to foretell such difficulties and distresses to elinor, as her own wounded heart taught her to think of with horror; and urged by a strong impulse of affectionate sensibility, she moved after a moment, to her sister's chair, and putting one arm round her neck, and one cheek close to hers, said in a low, but eager, voice-"dear, dear elinor, don't mind them. don't let them make _you_ unhappy." she could say no more; her spirits were quite overcome, and hiding her face on elinor's shoulder, she burst into tears. every body's attention was called, and almost every body was concerned. colonel brandon rose up and went to them without knowing what he did. mrs. jennings, with a very intelligent "ah! poor dear," immediately gave her her salts; and sir john felt so desperately enraged against the author of this nervous distress, that he instantly changed his seat to one close by lucy steele, and gave her, in a whisper, a brief account of the whole shocking affair. in a few minutes, however, marianne was recovered enough to put an end to the bustle, and sit down among the rest; though her spirits retained the impression of what had passed, the whole evening. "poor marianne!" said her brother to colonel brandon, in a low voice, as soon as he could secure his attention: "she has not such good health as her sister,--she is very nervous,--she has not elinor's constitution;--and one must allow that there is something very trying to a young woman who _has been_ a beauty in the loss of her personal attractions. you would not think it perhaps, but marianne _was_ remarkably handsome a few months ago; quite as handsome as elinor. now you see it is all gone." chapter xxxv elinor's curiosity to see mrs. ferrars was satisfied. she had found in her every thing that could tend to make a farther connection between the families undesirable. she had seen enough of her pride, her meanness, and her determined prejudice against herself, to comprehend all the difficulties that must have perplexed the engagement, and retarded the marriage, of edward and herself, had he been otherwise free;--and she had seen almost enough to be thankful for her _own_ sake, that one greater obstacle preserved her from suffering under any other of mrs. ferrars's creation, preserved her from all dependence upon her caprice, or any solicitude for her good opinion. or at least, if she did not bring herself quite to rejoice in edward's being fettered to lucy, she determined, that had lucy been more amiable, she _ought_ to have rejoiced. she wondered that lucy's spirits could be so very much elevated by the civility of mrs. ferrars;--that her interest and her vanity should so very much blind her as to make the attention which seemed only paid her because she was _not elinor_ appear a compliment to herself--or to allow her to derive encouragement from a preference only given her, because her real situation was unknown. but that it was so, had not only been declared by lucy's eyes at the time, but was declared over again the next morning more openly, for at her particular desire, lady middleton set her down in berkeley street on the chance of seeing elinor alone, to tell her how happy she was. the chance proved a lucky one, for a message from mrs. palmer soon after she arrived, carried mrs. jennings away. "my dear friend," cried lucy, as soon as they were by themselves, "i come to talk to you of my happiness. could anything be so flattering as mrs. ferrars's way of treating me yesterday? so exceeding affable as she was! you know how i dreaded the thoughts of seeing her; but the very moment i was introduced, there was such an affability in her behaviour as really should seem to say, she had quite took a fancy to me. now was not it so? you saw it all; and was not you quite struck with it?" "she was certainly very civil to you." "civil!--did you see nothing but only civility?--i saw a vast deal more. such kindness as fell to the share of nobody but me!--no pride, no hauteur, and your sister just the same--all sweetness and affability!" elinor wished to talk of something else, but lucy still pressed her to own that she had reason for her happiness; and elinor was obliged to go on. "undoubtedly, if they had known your engagement," said she, "nothing could be more flattering than their treatment of you;--but as that was not the case--" "i guessed you would say so," replied lucy quickly--"but there was no reason in the world why mrs. ferrars should seem to like me, if she did not, and her liking me is every thing. you shan't talk me out of my satisfaction. i am sure it will all end well, and there will be no difficulties at all, to what i used to think. mrs. ferrars is a charming woman, and so is your sister. they are both delightful women, indeed!--i wonder i should never hear you say how agreeable mrs. dashwood was!" to this elinor had no answer to make, and did not attempt any. "are you ill, miss dashwood?--you seem low--you don't speak;--sure you an't well." "i never was in better health." "i am glad of it with all my heart; but really you did not look it. i should be sorry to have _you_ ill; you, that have been the greatest comfort to me in the world!--heaven knows what i should have done without your friendship."-elinor tried to make a civil answer, though doubting her own success. but it seemed to satisfy lucy, for she directly replied-"indeed i am perfectly convinced of your regard for me, and next to edward's love, it is the greatest comfort i have. poor edward!--but now there is one good thing, we shall be able to meet, and meet pretty often, for lady middleton's delighted with mrs. dashwood, so we shall be a good deal in harley street, i dare say, and edward spends half his time with his sister--besides, lady middleton and mrs. ferrars will visit now;--and mrs. ferrars and your sister were both so good to say more than once, they should always be glad to see me. they are such charming women!--i am sure if ever you tell your sister what i think of her, you cannot speak too high." but elinor would not give her any encouragement to hope that she _should_ tell her sister. lucy continued. "i am sure i should have seen it in a moment, if mrs. ferrars had took a dislike to me. if she had only made me a formal courtesy, for instance, without saying a word, and never after had took any notice of me, and never looked at me in a pleasant way--you know what i mean--if i had been treated in that forbidding sort of way, i should have gave it all up in despair. i could not have stood it. for where she _does_ dislike, i know it is most violent." elinor was prevented from making any reply to this civil triumph, by the door's being thrown open, the servant's announcing mr. ferrars, and edward's immediately walking in. it was a very awkward moment; and the countenance of each showed that it was so. they all looked exceedingly foolish; and edward seemed to have as great an inclination to walk out of the room again, as to advance farther into it. the very circumstance, in its unpleasantest form, which they would each have been most anxious to avoid, had fallen on them. they were not only all three together, but were together without the relief of any other person. the ladies recovered themselves first. it was not lucy's business to put herself forward, and the appearance of secrecy must still be kept up. she could therefore only _look_ her tenderness, and after slightly addressing him, said no more. but elinor had more to do; and so anxious was she, for his sake and her own, to do it well, that she forced herself, after a moment's recollection, to welcome him, with a look and manner that were almost easy, and almost open; and another struggle, another effort still improved them. she would not allow the presence of lucy, nor the consciousness of some injustice towards herself, to deter her from saying that she was happy to see him, and that she had very much regretted being from home, when he called before in berkeley street. she would not be frightened from paying him those attentions which, as a friend and almost a relation, were his due, by the observant eyes of lucy, though she soon perceived them to be narrowly watching her. her manners gave some re-assurance to edward, and he had courage enough to sit down; but his embarrassment still exceeded that of the ladies in a proportion, which the case rendered reasonable, though his sex might make it rare; for his heart had not the indifference of lucy's, nor could his conscience have quite the ease of elinor's. lucy, with a demure and settled air, seemed determined to make no contribution to the comfort of the others, and would not say a word; and almost every thing that _was_ said, proceeded from elinor, who was obliged to volunteer all the information about her mother's health, their coming to town, &c. which edward ought to have inquired about, but never did. her exertions did not stop here; for she soon afterwards felt herself so heroically disposed as to determine, under pretence of fetching marianne, to leave the others by themselves; and she really did it, and _that_ in the handsomest manner, for she loitered away several minutes on the landing-place, with the most high-minded fortitude, before she went to her sister. when that was once done, however, it was time for the raptures of edward to cease; for marianne's joy hurried her into the drawing-room immediately. her pleasure in seeing him was like every other of her feelings, strong in itself, and strongly spoken. she met him with a hand that would be taken, and a voice that expressed the affection of a sister. "dear edward!" she cried, "this is a moment of great happiness!--this would almost make amends for every thing!" edward tried to return her kindness as it deserved, but before such witnesses he dared not say half what he really felt. again they all sat down, and for a moment or two all were silent; while marianne was looking with the most speaking tenderness, sometimes at edward and sometimes at elinor, regretting only that their delight in each other should be checked by lucy's unwelcome presence. edward was the first to speak, and it was to notice marianne's altered looks, and express his fear of her not finding london agree with her. "oh, don't think of me!" she replied with spirited earnestness, though her eyes were filled with tears as she spoke, "don't think of _my_ health. elinor is well, you see. that must be enough for us both." this remark was not calculated to make edward or elinor more easy, nor to conciliate the good will of lucy, who looked up at marianne with no very benignant expression. "do you like london?" said edward, willing to say any thing that might introduce another subject. "not at all. i expected much pleasure in it, but i have found none. the sight of you, edward, is the only comfort it has afforded; and thank heaven! you are what you always were!" she paused--no one spoke. "i think, elinor," she presently added, "we must employ edward to take care of us in our return to barton. in a week or two, i suppose, we shall be going; and, i trust, edward will not be very unwilling to accept the charge." poor edward muttered something, but what it was, nobody knew, not even himself. but marianne, who saw his agitation, and could easily trace it to whatever cause best pleased herself, was perfectly satisfied, and soon talked of something else. "we spent such a day, edward, in harley street yesterday! so dull, so wretchedly dull!--but i have much to say to you on that head, which cannot be said now." and with this admirable discretion did she defer the assurance of her finding their mutual relatives more disagreeable than ever, and of her being particularly disgusted with his mother, till they were more in private. "but why were you not there, edward?--why did you not come?" "i was engaged elsewhere." "engaged! but what was that, when such friends were to be met?" "perhaps, miss marianne," cried lucy, eager to take some revenge on her, "you think young men never stand upon engagements, if they have no mind to keep them, little as well as great." elinor was very angry, but marianne seemed entirely insensible of the sting; for she calmly replied-"not so, indeed; for, seriously speaking, i am very sure that conscience only kept edward from harley street. and i really believe he _has_ the most delicate conscience in the world; the most scrupulous in performing every engagement, however minute, and however it may make against his interest or pleasure. he is the most fearful of giving pain, of wounding expectation, and the most incapable of being selfish, of any body i ever saw. edward, it is so, and i will say it. what! are you never to hear yourself praised!--then you must be no friend of mine; for those who will accept of my love and esteem, must submit to my open commendation." the nature of her commendation, in the present case, however, happened to be particularly ill-suited to the feelings of two thirds of her auditors, and was so very unexhilarating to edward, that he very soon got up to go away. "going so soon!" said marianne; "my dear edward, this must not be." and drawing him a little aside, she whispered her persuasion that lucy could not stay much longer. but even this encouragement failed, for he would go; and lucy, who would have outstayed him, had his visit lasted two hours, soon afterwards went away. "what can bring her here so often?" said marianne, on her leaving them. "could not she see that we wanted her gone!--how teasing to edward!" "why so?--we were all his friends, and lucy has been the longest known to him of any. it is but natural that he should like to see her as well as ourselves." marianne looked at her steadily, and said, "you know, elinor, that this is a kind of talking which i cannot bear. if you only hope to have your assertion contradicted, as i must suppose to be the case, you ought to recollect that i am the last person in the world to do it. i cannot descend to be tricked out of assurances, that are not really wanted." she then left the room; and elinor dared not follow her to say more, for bound as she was by her promise of secrecy to lucy, she could give no information that would convince marianne; and painful as the consequences of her still continuing in an error might be, she was obliged to submit to it. all that she could hope, was that edward would not often expose her or himself to the distress of hearing marianne's mistaken warmth, nor to the repetition of any other part of the pain that had attended their recent meeting--and this she had every reason to expect. [illustration: _drawing him a little aside._] chapter xxxvi within a few days after this meeting, the newspapers announced to the world, that the lady of thomas palmer, esq. was safely delivered of a son and heir; a very interesting and satisfactory paragraph, at least to all those intimate connections who knew it before. this event, highly important to mrs. jennings's happiness, produced a temporary alteration in the disposal of her time, and influenced, in a like degree, the engagements of her young friends; for as she wished to be as much as possible with charlotte, she went thither every morning as soon as she was dressed, and did not return till late in the evening; and the miss dashwoods, at the particular request of the middletons, spent the whole of every day, in conduit street. for their own comfort they would much rather have remained, at least all the morning, in mrs. jennings's house; but it was not a thing to be urged against the wishes of everybody. their hours were therefore made over to lady middleton and the two miss steeles, by whom their company, in fact was as little valued, as it was professedly sought. they had too much sense to be desirable companions to the former; and by the latter they were considered with a jealous eye, as intruding on _their_ ground, and sharing the kindness which they wanted to monopolize. though nothing could be more polite than lady middleton's behaviour to elinor and marianne, she did not really like them at all. because they neither flattered herself nor her children, she could not believe them good-natured; and because they were fond of reading, she fancied them satirical: perhaps without exactly knowing what it was to be satirical; but _that_ did not signify. it was censure in common use, and easily given. their presence was a restraint both on her and on lucy. it checked the idleness of one, and the business of the other. lady middleton was ashamed of doing nothing before them, and the flattery which lucy was proud to think of and administer at other times, she feared they would despise her for offering. miss steele was the least discomposed of the three, by their presence; and it was in their power to reconcile her to it entirely. would either of them only have given her a full and minute account of the whole affair between marianne and mr. willoughby, she would have thought herself amply rewarded for the sacrifice of the best place by the fire after dinner, which their arrival occasioned. but this conciliation was not granted; for though she often threw out expressions of pity for her sister to elinor, and more than once dropt a reflection on the inconstancy of beaux before marianne, no effect was produced, but a look of indifference from the former, or of disgust in the latter. an effort even yet lighter might have made her their friend. would they only have laughed at her about the doctor! but so little were they, anymore than the others, inclined to oblige her, that if sir john dined from home, she might spend a whole day without hearing any other raillery on the subject, than what she was kind enough to bestow on herself. all these jealousies and discontents, however, were so totally unsuspected by mrs. jennings, that she thought it a delightful thing for the girls to be together; and generally congratulated her young friends every night, on having escaped the company of a stupid old woman so long. she joined them sometimes at sir john's, sometimes at her own house; but wherever it was, she always came in excellent spirits, full of delight and importance, attributing charlotte's well doing to her own care, and ready to give so exact, so minute a detail of her situation, as only miss steele had curiosity enough to desire. one thing _did_ disturb her; and of that she made her daily complaint. mr. palmer maintained the common, but unfatherly opinion among his sex, of all infants being alike; and though she could plainly perceive, at different times, the most striking resemblance between this baby and every one of his relations on both sides, there was no convincing his father of it; no persuading him to believe that it was not exactly like every other baby of the same age; nor could he even be brought to acknowledge the simple proposition of its being the finest child in the world. i come now to the relation of a misfortune, which about this time befell mrs. john dashwood. it so happened that while her two sisters with mrs. jennings were first calling on her in harley street, another of her acquaintance had dropt in--a circumstance in itself not apparently likely to produce evil to her. but while the imaginations of other people will carry them away to form wrong judgments of our conduct, and to decide on it by slight appearances, one's happiness must in some measure be always at the mercy of chance. in the present instance, this last-arrived lady allowed her fancy to so far outrun truth and probability, that on merely hearing the name of the miss dashwoods, and understanding them to be mr. dashwood's sisters, she immediately concluded them to be staying in harley street; and this misconstruction produced within a day or two afterwards, cards of invitation for them as well as for their brother and sister, to a small musical party at her house. the consequence of which was, that mrs. john dashwood was obliged to submit not only to the exceedingly great inconvenience of sending her carriage for the miss dashwoods, but, what was still worse, must be subject to all the unpleasantness of appearing to treat them with attention: and who could tell that they might not expect to go out with her a second time? the power of disappointing them, it was true, must always be her's. but that was not enough; for when people are determined on a mode of conduct which they know to be wrong, they feel injured by the expectation of any thing better from them. marianne had now been brought by degrees, so much into the habit of going out every day, that it was become a matter of indifference to her, whether she went or not: and she prepared quietly and mechanically for every evening's engagement, though without expecting the smallest amusement from any, and very often without knowing, till the last moment, where it was to take her. to her dress and appearance she was grown so perfectly indifferent, as not to bestow half the consideration on it, during the whole of her toilet, which it received from miss steele in the first five minutes of their being together, when it was finished. nothing escaped _her_ minute observation and general curiosity; she saw every thing, and asked every thing; was never easy till she knew the price of every part of marianne's dress; could have guessed the number of her gowns altogether with better judgment than marianne herself, and was not without hopes of finding out before they parted, how much her washing cost per week, and how much she had every year to spend upon herself. the impertinence of these kind of scrutinies, moreover, was generally concluded with a compliment, which though meant as its douceur, was considered by marianne as the greatest impertinence of all; for after undergoing an examination into the value and make of her gown, the colour of her shoes, and the arrangement of her hair, she was almost sure of being told that upon "her word she looked vastly smart, and she dared to say she would make a great many conquests." with such encouragement as this, was she dismissed on the present occasion, to her brother's carriage; which they were ready to enter five minutes after it stopped at the door, a punctuality not very agreeable to their sister-in-law, who had preceded them to the house of her acquaintance, and was there hoping for some delay on their part that might inconvenience either herself or her coachman. the events of this evening were not very remarkable. the party, like other musical parties, comprehended a great many people who had real taste for the performance, and a great many more who had none at all; and the performers themselves were, as usual, in their own estimation, and that of their immediate friends, the first private performers in england. as elinor was neither musical, nor affecting to be so, she made no scruple of turning her eyes from the grand pianoforte, whenever it suited her, and unrestrained even by the presence of a harp, and violoncello, would fix them at pleasure on any other object in the room. in one of these excursive glances she perceived among a group of young men, the very he, who had given them a lecture on toothpick-cases at gray's. she perceived him soon afterwards looking at herself, and speaking familiarly to her brother; and had just determined to find out his name from the latter, when they both came towards her, and mr. dashwood introduced him to her as mr. robert ferrars. he addressed her with easy civility, and twisted his head into a bow which assured her as plainly as words could have done, that he was exactly the coxcomb she had heard him described to be by lucy. happy had it been for her, if her regard for edward had depended less on his own merit, than on the merit of his nearest relations! for then his brother's bow must have given the finishing stroke to what the ill-humour of his mother and sister would have begun. but while she wondered at the difference of the two young men, she did not find that the emptiness of conceit of the one, put her out of all charity with the modesty and worth of the other. why they _were_ different, robert exclaimed to her himself in the course of a quarter of an hour's conversation; for, talking of his brother, and lamenting the extreme _gaucherie_ which he really believed kept him from mixing in proper society, he candidly and generously attributed it much less to any natural deficiency, than to the misfortune of a private education; while he himself, though probably without any particular, any material superiority by nature, merely from the advantage of a public school, was as well fitted to mix in the world as any other man. "upon my soul," he added, "i believe it is nothing more; and so i often tell my mother, when she is grieving about it. 'my dear madam,' i always say to her, 'you must make yourself easy. the evil is now irremediable, and it has been entirely your own doing. why would you be persuaded by my uncle, sir robert, against your own judgment, to place edward under private tuition, at the most critical time of his life? if you had only sent him to westminster as well as myself, instead of sending him to mr. pratt's, all this would have been prevented.' this is the way in which i always consider the matter, and my mother is perfectly convinced of her error." elinor would not oppose his opinion, because, whatever might be her general estimation of the advantage of a public school, she could not think of edward's abode in mr. pratt's family, with any satisfaction. "you reside in devonshire, i think,"--was his next observation, "in a cottage near dawlish." elinor set him right as to its situation; and it seemed rather surprising to him that anybody could live in devonshire, without living near dawlish. he bestowed his hearty approbation however on their species of house. "for my own part," said he, "i am excessively fond of a cottage; there is always so much comfort, so much elegance about them. and i protest, if i had any money to spare, i should buy a little land and build one myself, within a short distance of london, where i might drive myself down at any time, and collect a few friends about me, and be happy. i advise every body who is going to build, to build a cottage. my friend lord courtland came to me the other day on purpose to ask my advice, and laid before me three different plans of bonomi's. i was to decide on the best of them. 'my dear courtland,' said i, immediately throwing them all into the fire, 'do not adopt either of them, but by all means build a cottage.' and that i fancy, will be the end of it. "some people imagine that there can be no accommodations, no space in a cottage; but this is all a mistake. i was last month at my friend elliott's, near dartford. lady elliott wished to give a dance. 'but how can it be done?' said she; 'my dear ferrars, do tell me how it is to be managed. there is not a room in this cottage that will hold ten couple, and where can the supper be?' i immediately saw that there could be no difficulty in it, so i said, 'my dear lady elliott, do not be uneasy. the dining parlour will admit eighteen couple with ease; card-tables may be placed in the drawing-room; the library may be open for tea and other refreshments; and let the supper be set out in the saloon.' lady elliott was delighted with the thought. we measured the dining-room, and found it would hold exactly eighteen couple, and the affair was arranged precisely after my plan. so that, in fact, you see, if people do but know how to set about it, every comfort may be as well enjoyed in a cottage as in the most spacious dwelling." elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition. as john dashwood had no more pleasure in music than his eldest sister, his mind was equally at liberty to fix on any thing else; and a thought struck him during the evening, which he communicated to his wife, for her approbation, when they got home. the consideration of mrs. dennison's mistake, in supposing his sisters their guests, had suggested the propriety of their being really invited to become such, while mrs. jennings's engagements kept her from home. the expense would be nothing, the inconvenience not more; and it was altogether an attention which the delicacy of his conscience pointed out to be requisite to its complete enfranchisement from his promise to his father. fanny was startled at the proposal. "i do not see how it can be done," said she, "without affronting lady middleton, for they spend every day with her; otherwise i should be exceedingly glad to do it. you know i am always ready to pay them any attention in my power, as my taking them out this evening shows. but they are lady middleton's visitors. how can i ask them away from her?" her husband, but with great humility, did not see the force of her objection. "they had already spent a week in this manner in conduit street, and lady middleton could not be displeased at their giving the same number of days to such near relations." fanny paused a moment, and then, with fresh vigor, said-"my love i would ask them with all my heart, if it was in my power. but i had just settled within myself to ask the miss steeles to spend a few days with us. they are very well behaved, good kind of girls; and i think the attention is due to them, as their uncle did so very well by edward. we can ask your sisters some other year, you know; but the miss steeles may not be in town any more. i am sure you will like them; indeed, you _do_ like them, you know, very much already, and so does my mother; and they are such favourites with harry!" mr. dashwood was convinced. he saw the necessity of inviting the miss steeles immediately, and his conscience was pacified by the resolution of inviting his sisters another year; at the same time, however, slyly suspecting that another year would make the invitation needless, by bringing elinor to town as colonel brandon's wife, and marianne as _their_ visitor. fanny, rejoicing in her escape, and proud of the ready wit that had procured it, wrote the next morning to lucy, to request her company and her sister's, for some days, in harley street, as soon as lady middleton could spare them. this was enough to make lucy really and reasonably happy. mrs. dashwood seemed actually working for her, herself; cherishing all her hopes, and promoting all her views! such an opportunity of being with edward and his family was, above all things, the most material to her interest, and such an invitation the most gratifying to her feelings! it was an advantage that could not be too gratefully acknowledged, nor too speedily made use of; and the visit to lady middleton, which had not before had any precise limits, was instantly discovered to have been always meant to end in two days' time. when the note was shown to elinor, as it was within ten minutes after its arrival, it gave her, for the first time, some share in the expectations of lucy; for such a mark of uncommon kindness, vouchsafed on so short an acquaintance, seemed to declare that the good-will towards her arose from something more than merely malice against herself; and might be brought, by time and address, to do every thing that lucy wished. her flattery had already subdued the pride of lady middleton, and made an entry into the close heart of mrs. john dashwood; and these were effects that laid open the probability of greater. the miss steeles removed to harley street, and all that reached elinor of their influence there, strengthened her expectation of the event. sir john, who called on them more than once, brought home such accounts of the favour they were in, as must be universally striking. mrs. dashwood had never been so much pleased with any young women in her life, as she was with them; had given each of them a needle book made by some emigrant; called lucy by her christian name; and did not know whether she should ever be able to part with them. chapter xxxvii mrs. palmer was so well at the end of a fortnight, that her mother felt it no longer necessary to give up the whole of her time to her; and, contenting herself with visiting her once or twice a day, returned from that period to her own home, and her own habits, in which she found the miss dashwoods very ready to resume their former share. about the third or fourth morning after their being thus resettled in berkeley street, mrs. jennings, on returning from her ordinary visit to mrs. palmer, entered the drawing-room, where elinor was sitting by herself, with an air of such hurrying importance as prepared her to hear something wonderful; and giving her time only to form that idea, began directly to justify it, by saying-"lord! my dear miss dashwood! have you heard the news?" "no, ma'am. what is it?" "something so strange! but you shall hear it all. when i got to mr. palmer's, i found charlotte quite in a fuss about the child. she was sure it was very ill--it cried, and fretted, and was all over pimples. so i looked at it directly, and, 'lord! my dear,' says i, 'it is nothing in the world, but the red gum--' and nurse said just the same. but charlotte, she would not be satisfied, so mr. donavan was sent for; and luckily he happened to just come in from harley street, so he stepped over directly, and as soon as ever he saw the child, he said just as we did, that it was nothing in the world but the red gum, and then charlotte was easy. and so, just as he was going away again, it came into my head, i am sure i do not know how i happened to think of it, but it came into my head to ask him if there was any news. so upon that, he smirked, and simpered, and looked grave, and seemed to know something or other, and at last he said in a whisper, 'for fear any unpleasant report should reach the young ladies under your care as to their sister's indisposition, i think it advisable to say, that i believe there is no great reason for alarm; i hope mrs. dashwood will do very well.'" "what! is fanny ill?" [illustration: _in a whisper._] "that is exactly what i said, my dear. 'lord!' says i, 'is mrs. dashwood ill?' so then it all came out; and the long and the short of the matter, by all i can learn, seems to be this. mr. edward ferrars, the very young man i used to joke with you about (but however, as it turns out, i am monstrous glad there was never any thing in it), mr. edward ferrars, it seems, has been engaged above this twelvemonth to my cousin lucy! there's for you, my dear! and not a creature knowing a syllable of the matter, except nancy! could you have believed such a thing possible? there is no great wonder in their liking one another; but that matters should be brought so forward between them, and nobody suspect it! _that_ is strange! i never happened to see them together, or i am sure i should have found it out directly. well, and so this was kept a great secret, for fear of mrs. ferrars, and neither she nor your brother or sister suspected a word of the matter: till this very morning, poor nancy, who, you know, is a well-meaning creature, but no conjurer, popt it all out. 'lord!' thinks she to herself, 'they are all so fond of lucy, to be sure they will make no difficulty about it;' and so, away she went to your sister, who was sitting all alone at her carpet-work, little suspecting what was to come--for she had just been saying to your brother, only five minutes before, that she thought to make a match between edward and some lord's daughter or other, i forget who. so you may think what a blow it was to all her vanity and pride. she fell into violent hysterics immediately, with such screams as reached your brother's ears, as he was sitting in his own dressing-room down stairs, thinking about writing a letter to his steward in the country. so up he flew directly, and a terrible scene took place, for lucy was come to them by that time, little dreaming what was going on. poor soul! i pity _her._ and i must say, i think she was used very hardly; for your sister scolded like any fury, and soon drove her into a fainting fit. nancy, she fell upon her knees, and cried bitterly; and your brother, he walked about the room, and said he did not know what to do. mrs. dashwood declared they should not stay a minute longer in the house, and your brother was forced to go down upon _his_ knees too, to persuade her to let them stay till they had packed up their clothes. _then_ she fell into hysterics again, and he was so frightened that he would send for mr. donavan, and mr. donavan found the house in all this uproar. the carriage was at the door ready to take my poor cousins away, and they were just stepping in as he came off; poor lucy in such a condition, he says, she could hardly walk; and nancy, she was almost as bad. i declare, i have no patience with your sister; and i hope, with all my heart, it will be a match in spite of her. lord! what a taking poor mr. edward will be in when he hears of it! to have his love used so scornfully! for they say he is monstrous fond of her, as well he may. i should not wonder, if he was to be in the greatest passion!--and mr. donavan thinks just the same. he and i had a great deal of talk about it; and the best of all is, that he is gone back again to harley street, that he may be within call when mrs. ferrars is told of it, for she was sent for as soon as ever my cousins left the house, for your sister was sure _she_ would be in hysterics too; and so she may, for what i care. i have no pity for either of them. i have no notion of people's making such a to-do about money and greatness. there is no reason on earth why mr. edward and lucy should not marry; for i am sure mrs. ferrars may afford to do very well by her son, and though lucy has next to nothing herself, she knows better than any body how to make the most of every thing; i dare say, if mrs. ferrars would only allow him five hundred a-year, she would make as good an appearance with it as any body else would with eight. lord! how snug they might live in such another cottage as yours--or a little bigger--with two maids, and two men; and i believe i could help them to a housemaid, for my betty has a sister out of place, that would fit them exactly." here mrs. jennings ceased, and as elinor had had time enough to collect her thoughts, she was able to give such an answer, and make such observations, as the subject might naturally be supposed to produce. happy to find that she was not suspected of any extraordinary interest in it; that mrs. jennings (as she had of late often hoped might be the case) had ceased to imagine her at all attached to edward; and happy above all the rest, in the absence of marianne, she felt very well able to speak of the affair without embarrassment, and to give her judgment, as she believed, with impartiality on the conduct of every one concerned in it. she could hardly determine what her own expectation of its event really was; though she earnestly tried to drive away the notion of its being possible to end otherwise at last, than in the marriage of edward and lucy. what mrs. ferrars would say and do, though there could not be a doubt of its nature, she was anxious to hear; and still more anxious to know how edward would conduct himself. for _him_ she felt much compassion;--for lucy very little--and it cost her some pains to procure that little;--for the rest of the party none at all. as mrs. jennings could talk on no other subject, elinor soon saw the necessity of preparing marianne for its discussion. no time was to be lost in undeceiving her, in making her acquainted with the real truth, and in endeavouring to bring her to hear it talked of by others, without betraying that she felt any uneasiness for her sister, or any resentment against edward. elinor's office was a painful one. she was going to remove what she really believed to be her sister's chief consolation,--to give such particulars of edward as she feared would ruin him for ever in her good opinion,-and to make marianne, by a resemblance in their situations, which to _her_ fancy would seem strong, feel all her own disappointment over again. but unwelcome as such a task must be, it was necessary to be done, and elinor therefore hastened to perform it. she was very far from wishing to dwell on her own feelings, or to represent herself as suffering much, any otherwise than as the self-command she had practised since her first knowledge of edward's engagement, might suggest a hint of what was practicable to marianne. her narration was clear and simple; and though it could not be given without emotion, it was not accompanied by violent agitation, nor impetuous grief. _that_ belonged rather to the hearer, for marianne listened with horror, and cried excessively. elinor was to be the comforter of others in her own distresses, no less than in theirs; and all the comfort that could be given by assurances of her own composure of mind, and a very earnest vindication of edward from every charge but of imprudence, was readily offered. but marianne for some time would give credit to neither. edward seemed a second willoughby; and acknowledging as elinor did, that she _had_ loved him most sincerely, could she feel less than herself! as for lucy steele, she considered her so totally unamiable, so absolutely incapable of attaching a sensible man, that she could not be persuaded at first to believe, and afterwards to pardon, any former affection of edward for her. she would not even admit it to have been natural; and elinor left her to be convinced that it was so, by that which only could convince her, a better knowledge of mankind. her first communication had reached no farther than to state the fact of the engagement, and the length of time it had existed. marianne's feelings had then broken in, and put an end to all regularity of detail; and for some time all that could be done was to soothe her distress, lessen her alarms, and combat her resentment. the first question on her side, which led to farther particulars, was-"how long has this been known to you, elinor? has he written to you?" "i have known it these four months. when lucy first came to barton park last november, she told me in confidence of her engagement." at these words, marianne's eyes expressed the astonishment which her lips could not utter. after a pause of wonder, she exclaimed-"four months!--have you known of this four months?" elinor confirmed it. "what!--while attending me in all my misery, has this been on your heart?--and i have reproached you for being happy!"-"it was not fit that you should then know how much i was the reverse!" "four months!" cried marianne again. "so calm! so cheerful! how have you been supported?" "by feeling that i was doing my duty. my promise to lucy, obliged me to be secret. i owed it to her, therefore, to avoid giving any hint of the truth; and i owed it to my family and friends, not to create in them a solicitude about me, which it could not be in my power to satisfy." marianne seemed much struck. "i have very often wished to undeceive yourself and my mother," added elinor; "and once or twice i have attempted it; but without betraying my trust, i never could have convinced you." "four months! and yet you loved him!" "yes. but i did not love only him;--and while the comfort of others was dear to me, i was glad to spare them from knowing how much i felt. now, i can think and speak of it with little emotion. i would not have you suffer on my account; for i assure you i no longer suffer materially myself. i have many things to support me. i am not conscious of having provoked the disappointment by any imprudence of my own, i have borne it as much as possible without spreading it farther. i acquit edward of essential misconduct. i wish him very happy; and i am so sure of his always doing his duty, that though now he may harbour some regret, in the end he must become so. lucy does not want sense, and that is the foundation on which every thing good may be built. and after all, marianne, after all that is bewitching in the idea of a single and constant attachment, and all that can be said of one's happiness depending entirely on any particular person, it is not meant--it is not fit--it is not possible that it should be so. edward will marry lucy; he will marry a woman superior in person and understanding to half her sex; and time and habit will teach him to forget that he ever thought another superior to _her._" "if such is your way of thinking," said marianne, "if the loss of what is most valued is so easily to be made up by something else, your resolution, your self-command, are, perhaps, a little less to be wondered at. they are brought more within my comprehension." "i understand you. you do not suppose that i have ever felt much. for four months, marianne, i have had all this hanging on my mind, without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature; knowing that it would make you and my mother most unhappy whenever it were explained to you, yet unable to prepare you for it in the least. it was told me,--it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself, whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects; and told me, as i thought, with triumph. this person's suspicions, therefore, i have had to oppose, by endeavouring to appear indifferent where i have been most deeply interested;--and it has not been only once;--i have had her hopes and exultation to listen to again and again. i have known myself to be divided from edward for ever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection. nothing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me. i have had to contend against the unkindness of his sister, and the insolence of his mother; and have suffered the punishment of an attachment, without enjoying its advantages. and all this has been going on at a time, when, as you know too well, it has not been my only unhappiness. if you can think me capable of ever feeling, surely you may suppose that i have suffered _now._ the composure of mind with which i have brought myself at present to consider the matter, the consolation that i have been willing to admit, have been the effect of constant and painful exertion; they did not spring up of themselves; they did not occur to relieve my spirits at first. no, marianne. _then_, if i had not been bound to silence, perhaps nothing could have kept me entirely--not even what i owed to my dearest friends--from openly showing that i was _very_ unhappy."-marianne was quite subdued. "oh! elinor," she cried, "you have made me hate myself for ever. how barbarous have i been to you!--you, who have been my only comfort, who have borne with me in all my misery, who have seemed to be only suffering for me! is this my gratitude? is this the only return i can make you? because your merit cries out upon myself, i have been trying to do it away." the tenderest caresses followed this confession. in such a frame of mind as she was now in, elinor had no difficulty in obtaining from her whatever promise she required; and at her request, marianne engaged never to speak of the affair to any one with the least appearance of bitterness;--to meet lucy without betraying the smallest increase of dislike to her;--and even to see edward himself, if chance should bring them together, without any diminution of her usual cordiality. these were great concessions;--but where marianne felt that she had injured, no reparation could be too much for her to make. she performed her promise of being discreet, to admiration. she attended to all that mrs. jennings had to say upon the subject, with an unchanging complexion, dissented from her in nothing, and was heard three times to say, "yes, ma'am."--she listened to her praise of lucy with only moving from one chair to another, and when mrs. jennings talked of edward's affection, it cost her only a spasm in her throat. such advances towards heroism in her sister, made elinor feel equal to any thing herself. the next morning brought a farther trial of it, in a visit from their brother, who came with a most serious aspect to talk over the dreadful affair, and bring them news of his wife. "you have heard, i suppose," said he with great solemnity, as soon as he was seated, "of the very shocking discovery that took place under our roof yesterday." they all looked their assent; it seemed too awful a moment for speech. [illustration: "_you have heard, i suppose._"] "your sister," he continued, "has suffered dreadfully. mrs. ferrars too--in short it has been a scene of such complicated distress--but i will hope that the storm may be weathered without our being any of us quite overcome. poor fanny! she was in hysterics all yesterday. but i would not alarm you too much. donavan says there is nothing materially to be apprehended; her constitution is a good one, and her resolution equal to any thing. she has borne it all, with the fortitude of an angel! she says she never shall think well of anybody again; and one cannot wonder at it, after being so deceived!--meeting with such ingratitude, where so much kindness had been shown, so much confidence had been placed! it was quite out of the benevolence of her heart, that she had asked these young women to her house; merely because she thought they deserved some attention, were harmless, well-behaved girls, and would be pleasant companions; for otherwise we both wished very much to have invited you and marianne to be with us, while your kind friend there, was attending her daughter. and now to be so rewarded! 'i wish, with all my heart,' says poor fanny in her affectionate way, 'that we had asked your sisters instead of them.'" here he stopped to be thanked; which being done, he went on. "what poor mrs. ferrars suffered, when first fanny broke it to her, is not to be described. while she with the truest affection had been planning a most eligible connection for him, was it to be supposed that he could be all the time secretly engaged to another person!--such a suspicion could never have entered her head! if she suspected _any_ prepossession elsewhere, it could not be in _that_ quarter. '_there_ to be sure,' said she, 'i might have thought myself safe.' she was quite in an agony. we consulted together, however, as to what should be done, and at last she determined to send for edward. he came. but i am sorry to relate what ensued. all that mrs. ferrars could say to make him put an end to the engagement, assisted too as you may well suppose by my arguments, and fanny's entreaties, was of no avail. duty, affection, every thing was disregarded. i never thought edward so stubborn, so unfeeling before. his mother explained to him her liberal designs, in case of his marrying miss morton; told him she would settle on him the norfolk estate, which, clear of land-tax, brings in a good thousand a-year; offered even, when matters grew desperate, to make it twelve hundred; and in opposition to this, if he still persisted in this low connection, represented to him the certain penury that must attend the match. his own two thousand pounds she protested should be his all; she would never see him again; and so far would she be from affording him the smallest assistance, that if he were to enter into any profession with a view of better support, she would do all in her power to prevent him advancing in it." here marianne, in an ecstasy of indignation, clapped her hands together, and cried, "gracious god! can this be possible!" "well may you wonder, marianne," replied her brother, "at the obstinacy which could resist such arguments as these. your exclamation is very natural." marianne was going to retort, but she remembered her promises, and forbore. "all this, however," he continued, "was urged in vain. edward said very little; but what he did say, was in the most determined manner. nothing should prevail on him to give up his engagement. he would stand to it, cost him what it might." "then," cried mrs. jennings with blunt sincerity, no longer able to be silent, "he has acted like an honest man! i beg your pardon, mr. dashwood, but if he had done otherwise, i should have thought him a rascal. i have some little concern in the business, as well as yourself, for lucy steele is my cousin, and i believe there is not a better kind of girl in the world, nor one who more deserves a good husband." john dashwood was greatly astonished; but his nature was calm, not open to provocation, and he never wished to offend anybody, especially anybody of good fortune. he therefore replied, without any resentment-"i would by no means speak disrespectfully of any relation of yours, madam. miss lucy steele is, i dare say, a very deserving young woman, but in the present case you know, the connection must be impossible. and to have entered into a secret engagement with a young man under her uncle's care, the son of a woman especially of such very large fortune as mrs. ferrars, is perhaps, altogether a little extraordinary. in short, i do not mean to reflect upon the behaviour of any person whom you have a regard for, mrs. jennings. we all wish her extremely happy; and mrs. ferrars's conduct throughout the whole, has been such as every conscientious, good mother, in like circumstances, would adopt. it has been dignified and liberal. edward has drawn his own lot, and i fear it will be a bad one." marianne sighed out her similar apprehension; and elinor's heart wrung for the feelings of edward, while braving his mother's threats, for a woman who could not reward him. "well, sir," said mrs. jennings, "and how did it end?" "i am sorry to say, ma'am, in a most unhappy rupture:--edward is dismissed for ever from his mother's notice. he left her house yesterday, but where he is gone, or whether he is still in town, i do not know; for _we_ of course can make no inquiry." "poor young man!--and what is to become of him?" "what, indeed, ma'am! it is a melancholy consideration. born to the prospect of such affluence! i cannot conceive a situation more deplorable. the interest of two thousand pounds--how can a man live on it?--and when to that is added the recollection, that he might, but for his own folly, within three months have been in the receipt of two thousand, five hundred a-year (for miss morton has thirty thousand pounds,) i cannot picture to myself a more wretched condition. we must all feel for him; and the more so, because it is totally out of our power to assist him." "poor young man!" cried mrs. jennings, "i am sure he should be very welcome to bed and board at my house; and so i would tell him if i could see him. it is not fit that he should be living about at his own charge now, at lodgings and taverns." elinor's heart thanked her for such kindness towards edward, though she could not forbear smiling at the form of it. "if he would only have done as well by himself," said john dashwood, "as all his friends were disposed to do by him, he might now have been in his proper situation, and would have wanted for nothing. but as it is, it must be out of anybody's power to assist him. and there is one thing more preparing against him, which must be worse than all--his mother has determined, with a very natural kind of spirit, to settle _that_ estate upon robert immediately, which might have been edward's, on proper conditions. i left her this morning with her lawyer, talking over the business." [illustration: _talking over the business._] "well!" said mrs. jennings, "that is _her_ revenge. everybody has a way of their own. but i don't think mine would be, to make one son independent, because another had plagued me." marianne got up and walked about the room. "can anything be more galling to the spirit of a man," continued john, "than to see his younger brother in possession of an estate which might have been his own? poor edward! i feel for him sincerely." a few minutes more spent in the same kind of effusion, concluded his visit; and with repeated assurances to his sisters that he really believed there was no material danger in fanny's indisposition, and that they need not therefore be very uneasy about it, he went away; leaving the three ladies unanimous in their sentiments on the present occasion, as far at least as it regarded mrs. ferrars's conduct, the dashwoods', and edward's. marianne's indignation burst forth as soon as he quitted the room; and as her vehemence made reserve impossible in elinor, and unnecessary in mrs. jennings, they all joined in a very spirited critique upon the party. chapter xxxviii mrs. jennings was very warm in her praise of edward's conduct, but only elinor and marianne understood its true merit. _they_ only knew how little he had had to tempt him to be disobedient, and how small was the consolation, beyond the consciousness of doing right, that could remain to him in the loss of friends and fortune. elinor gloried in his integrity; and marianne forgave all his offences in compassion for his punishment. but though confidence between them was, by this public discovery, restored to its proper state, it was not a subject on which either of them were fond of dwelling when alone. elinor avoided it upon principle, as tending to fix still more upon her thoughts, by the too warm, too positive assurances of marianne, that belief of edward's continued affection for herself which she rather wished to do away; and marianne's courage soon failed her, in trying to converse upon a topic which always left her more dissatisfied with herself than ever, by the comparison it necessarily produced between elinor's conduct and her own. she felt all the force of that comparison; but not as her sister had hoped, to urge her to exertion now; she felt it with all the pain of continual self-reproach, regretted most bitterly that she had never exerted herself before; but it brought only the torture of penitence, without the hope of amendment. her mind was so much weakened that she still fancied present exertion impossible, and therefore it only dispirited her more. nothing new was heard by them, for a day or two afterwards, of affairs in harley street, or bartlett's buildings. but though so much of the matter was known to them already, that mrs. jennings might have had enough to do in spreading that knowledge farther, without seeking after more, she had resolved from the first to pay a visit of comfort and inquiry to her cousins as soon as she could; and nothing but the hindrance of more visitors than usual, had prevented her going to them within that time. the third day succeeding their knowledge of the particulars, was so fine, so beautiful a sunday as to draw many to kensington gardens, though it was only the second week in march. mrs. jennings and elinor were of the number; but marianne, who knew that the willoughbys were again in town, and had a constant dread of meeting them, chose rather to stay at home, than venture into so public a place. an intimate acquaintance of mrs. jennings joined them soon after they entered the gardens, and elinor was not sorry that by her continuing with them, and engaging all mrs. jennings's conversation, she was herself left to quiet reflection. she saw nothing of the willoughbys, nothing of edward, and for some time nothing of anybody who could by any chance whether grave or gay, be interesting to her. but at last she found herself with some surprise, accosted by miss steele, who, though looking rather shy, expressed great satisfaction in meeting them, and on receiving encouragement from the particular kindness of mrs. jennings, left her own party for a short time, to join their's. mrs. jennings immediately whispered to elinor-"get it all out of her, my dear. she will tell you any thing if you ask. you see i cannot leave mrs. clarke." it was lucky, however, for mrs. jennings's curiosity and elinor's too, that she would tell any thing _without_ being asked; for nothing would otherwise have been learnt. "i am so glad to meet you;" said miss steele, taking her familiarly by the arm--"for i wanted to see you of all things in the world." and then lowering her voice, "i suppose mrs. jennings has heard all about it. is she angry?" "not at all, i believe, with you." "that is a good thing. and lady middleton, is _she_ angry?" "i cannot suppose it possible that she should." "i am monstrous glad of it. good gracious! i have had such a time of it! i never saw lucy in such a rage in my life. she vowed at first she would never trim me up a new bonnet, nor do any thing else for me again, so long as she lived; but now she is quite come to, and we are as good friends as ever. look, she made me this bow to my hat, and put in the feather last night. there now, _you_ are going to laugh at me too. but why should not i wear pink ribbons? i do not care if it _is_ the doctor's favourite colour. i am sure, for my part, i should never have known he _did_ like it better than any other colour, if he had not happened to say so. my cousins have been so plaguing me! i declare sometimes i do not know which way to look before them." she had wandered away to a subject on which elinor had nothing to say, and therefore soon judged it expedient to find her way back again to the first. "well, but miss dashwood," speaking triumphantly, "people may say what they choose about mr. ferrars's declaring he would not have lucy, for it is no such thing i can tell you; and it is quite a shame for such ill-natured reports to be spread abroad. whatever lucy might think about it herself, you know, it was no business of other people to set it down for certain." "i never heard any thing of the kind hinted at before, i assure you," said elinor. [illustration: "_she put in the feather last night._"] "oh, did not you? but it _was_ said, i know, very well, and by more than one; for miss godby told miss sparks, that nobody in their senses could expect mr. ferrars to give up a woman like miss morton, with thirty thousand pounds to her fortune, for lucy steele that had nothing at all; and i had it from miss sparks myself. and besides that, my cousin richard said himself, that when it came to the point he was afraid mr. ferrars would be off; and when edward did not come near us for three days, i could not tell what to think myself; and i believe in my heart lucy gave it up all for lost; for we came away from your brother's wednesday, and we saw nothing of him not all thursday, friday, and saturday, and did not know what was become of him. once lucy thought to write to him, but then her spirits rose against that. however this morning he came just as we came home from church; and then it all came out, how he had been sent for wednesday to harley street, and been talked to by his mother and all of them, and how he had declared before them all that he loved nobody but lucy, and nobody but lucy would he have. and how he had been so worried by what passed, that as soon as he had went away from his mother's house, he had got upon his horse, and rid into the country, some where or other; and how he had stayed about at an inn all thursday and friday, on purpose to get the better of it. and after thinking it all over and over again, he said, it seemed to him as if, now he had no fortune, and no nothing at all, it would be quite unkind to keep her on to the engagement, because it must be for her loss, for he had nothing but two thousand pounds, and no hope of any thing else; and if he was to go into orders, as he had some thoughts, he could get nothing but a curacy, and how was they to live upon that?--he could not bear to think of her doing no better, and so he begged, if she had the least mind for it, to put an end to the matter directly, and leave him shift for himself. i heard him say all this as plain as could possibly be. and it was entirely for _her_ sake, and upon _her_ account, that he said a word about being off, and not upon his own. i will take my oath he never dropt a syllable of being tired of her, or of wishing to marry miss morton, or any thing like it. but, to be sure, lucy would not give ear to such kind of talking; so she told him directly (with a great deal about sweet and love, you know, and all that--oh, la! one can't repeat such kind of things you know)--she told him directly, she had not the least mind in the world to be off, for she could live with him upon a trifle, and how little so ever he might have, she should be very glad to have it all, you know, or something of the kind. so then he was monstrous happy, and talked on some time about what they should do, and they agreed he should take orders directly, and they must wait to be married till he got a living. and just then i could not hear any more, for my cousin called from below to tell me mrs. richardson was come in her coach, and would take one of us to kensington gardens; so i was forced to go into the room and interrupt them, to ask lucy if she would like to go, but she did not care to leave edward; so i just run up stairs and put on a pair of silk stockings and came off with the richardsons." "i do not understand what you mean by interrupting them," said elinor; "you were all in the same room together, were not you?" "no, indeed, not us. la! miss dashwood, do you think people make love when any body else is by? oh, for shame!--to be sure you must know better than that. (laughing affectedly.)--no, no; they were shut up in the drawing-room together, and all i heard was only by listening at the door." "how!" cried elinor; "have you been repeating to me what you only learnt yourself by listening at the door? i am sorry i did not know it before; for i certainly would not have suffered you to give me particulars of a conversation which you ought not to have known yourself. how could you behave so unfairly by your sister?" "oh, la! there is nothing in _that._ i only stood at the door, and heard what i could. and i am sure lucy would have done just the same by me; for a year or two back, when martha sharpe and i had so many secrets together, she never made any bones of hiding in a closet, or behind a chimney-board, on purpose to hear what we said." elinor tried to talk of something else; but miss steele could not be kept beyond a couple of minutes, from what was uppermost in her mind. [illustration: _listening at the door._] "edward talks of going to oxford soon," said she; "but now he is lodging at no. --, pall mall. what an ill-natured woman his mother is, an't she? and your brother and sister were not very kind! however, i shan't say anything against them to _you_; and to be sure they did send us home in their own chariot, which was more than i looked for. and for my part, i was all in a fright for fear your sister should ask us for the huswifes she had gave us a day or two before; but, however, nothing was said about them, and i took care to keep mine out of sight. edward have got some business at oxford, he says; so he must go there for a time; and after _that_, as soon as he can light upon a bishop, he will be ordained. i wonder what curacy he will get! good gracious! (giggling as she spoke) i'd lay my life i know what my cousins will say, when they hear of it. they will tell me i should write to the doctor, to get edward the curacy of his new living. i know they will; but i am sure i would not do such a thing for all the world. 'la!' i shall say directly, 'i wonder how you could think of such a thing? i write to the doctor, indeed!'" "well," said elinor, "it is a comfort to be prepared against the worst. you have got your answer ready." miss steele was going to reply on the same subject, but the approach of her own party made another more necessary. "oh, la! here come the richardsons. i had a vast deal more to say to you, but i must not stay away from them not any longer. i assure you they are very genteel people. he makes a monstrous deal of money, and they keep their own coach. i have not time to speak to mrs. jennings about it myself, but pray tell her i am quite happy to hear she is not in anger against us, and lady middleton the same; and if anything should happen to take you and your sister away, and mrs. jennings should want company, i am sure we should be very glad to come and stay with her for as long a time as she likes. i suppose lady middleton won't ask us any more this bout. good-bye; i am sorry miss marianne was not here. remember me kindly to her. la! if you have not got your spotted muslin on!--i wonder you was not afraid of its being torn." such was her parting concern; for after this, she had time only to pay her farewell compliments to mrs. jennings, before her company was claimed by mrs. richardson; and elinor was left in possession of knowledge which might feed her powers of reflection some time, though she had learnt very little more than what had been already foreseen and foreplanned in her own mind. edward's marriage with lucy was as firmly determined on, and the time of its taking place remained as absolutely uncertain, as she had concluded it would be;--every thing depended, exactly after her expectation, on his getting that preferment, of which, at present, there seemed not the smallest chance. as soon as they returned to the carriage, mrs. jennings was eager for information; but as elinor wished to spread as little as possible intelligence that had in the first place been so unfairly obtained, she confined herself to the brief repetition of such simple particulars, as she felt assured that lucy, for the sake of her own consequence, would choose to have known. the continuance of their engagement, and the means that were able to be taken for promoting its end, was all her communication; and this produced from mrs. jennings the following natural remark:-"wait for his having a living!--ay, we all know how _that_ will end:--they will wait a twelvemonth, and finding no good comes of it, will set down upon a curacy of fifty pounds a-year, with the interest of his two thousand pounds, and what little matter mr. steele and mr. pratt can give her. then they will have a child every year! and lord help 'em! how poor they will be!--i must see what i can give them towards furnishing their house. two maids and two men, indeed!--as i talked of t'other day. no, no, they must get a stout girl of all works. betty's sister would never do for them _now._" the next morning brought elinor a letter by the two-penny post from lucy herself. it was as follows: "bartlett's building, march. "i hope my dear miss dashwood will excuse the liberty i take of writing to her; but i know your friendship for me will make you pleased to hear such a good account of myself and my dear edward, after all the troubles we have went through lately, therefore will make no more apologies, but proceed to say that, thank god! though we have suffered dreadfully, we are both quite well now, and as happy as we must always be in one another's love. we have had great trials, and great persecutions, but however, at the same time, gratefully acknowledge many friends, yourself not the least among them, whose great kindness i shall always thankfully remember, as will edward too, who i have told of it. i am sure you will be glad to hear, as likewise dear mrs. jennings, i spent two happy hours with him yesterday afternoon, he would not hear of our parting, though earnestly did i, as i thought my duty required, urge him to it for prudence sake, and would have parted for ever on the spot, would he consent to it; but he said it should never be, he did not regard his mother's anger, while he could have my affections; our prospects are not very bright, to be sure, but we must wait, and hope for the best; he will be ordained shortly; and should it ever be in your power to recommend him to any body that has a living to bestow, am very sure you will not forget us, and dear mrs. jennings too, trust she will speak a good word for us to sir john, or mr. palmer, or any friend that may be able to assist us. poor anne was much to blame for what she did, but she did it for the best, so i say nothing; hope mrs. jennings won't think it too much trouble to give us a call, should she come this way any morning, 'twould be a great kindness, and my cousins would be proud to know her. my paper reminds me to conclude; and begging to be most gratefully and respectfully remembered to her, and to sir john, and lady middleton, and the dear children, when you chance to see them, and love to miss marianne, "i am, etc., etc." as soon as elinor had finished it, she performed what she concluded to be its writer's real design, by placing it in the hands of mrs. jennings, who read it aloud with many comments of satisfaction and praise. "very well indeed!--how prettily she writes!--aye, that was quite proper to let him be off if he would. that was just like lucy. poor soul! i wish i _could_ get him a living, with all my heart. she calls me dear mrs. jennings, you see. she is a good-hearted girl as ever lived. very well upon my word. that sentence is very prettily turned. yes, yes, i will go and see her, sure enough. how attentive she is, to think of every body!--thank you, my dear, for showing it me. it is as pretty a letter as ever i saw, and does lucy's head and heart great credit." chapter xxxix the miss dashwoods had now been rather more than two months in town, and marianne's impatience to be gone increased every day. she sighed for the air, the liberty, the quiet of the country; and fancied that if any place could give her ease, barton must do it. elinor was hardly less anxious than herself for their removal, and only so much less bent on its being effected immediately, as that she was conscious of the difficulties of so long a journey, which marianne could not be brought to acknowledge. she began, however, seriously to turn her thoughts towards its accomplishment, and had already mentioned their wishes to their kind hostess, who resisted them with all the eloquence of her good-will, when a plan was suggested, which, though detaining them from home yet a few weeks longer, appeared to elinor altogether much more eligible than any other. the palmers were to remove to cleveland about the end of march, for the easter holidays; and mrs. jennings, with both her friends, received a very warm invitation from charlotte to go with them. this would not, in itself, have been sufficient for the delicacy of miss dashwood;--but it was enforced with so much real politeness by mr. palmer himself, as, joined to the very great amendment of his manners towards them since her sister had been known to be unhappy, induced her to accept it with pleasure. when she told marianne what she had done, however, her first reply was not very auspicious. "cleveland!"--she cried, with great agitation. "no, i cannot go to cleveland."-"you forget," said elinor gently, "that its situation is not--that it is not in the neighbourhood of--" "but it is in somersetshire. i cannot go into somersetshire. there, where i looked forward to going;--no, elinor, you cannot expect me to go there." elinor would not argue upon the propriety of overcoming such feelings;--she only endeavoured to counteract them by working on others;--represented it, therefore, as a measure which would fix the time of her returning to that dear mother, whom she so much wished to see, in a more eligible, more comfortable manner, than any other plan could do, and perhaps without any greater delay. from cleveland, which was within a few miles of bristol, the distance to barton was not beyond one day, though a long day's journey; and their mother's servant might easily come there to attend them down; and as there could be no occasion of their staying above a week at cleveland, they might now be at home in little more than three weeks' time. as marianne's affection for her mother was sincere, it must triumph with little difficulty, over the imaginary evils she had started. mrs. jennings was so far from being weary of her guest, that she pressed them very earnestly to return with her again from cleveland. elinor was grateful for the attention, but it could not alter her design; and their mother's concurrence being readily gained, every thing relative to their return was arranged as far as it could be;--and marianne found some relief in drawing up a statement of the hours that were yet to divide her from barton. "ah! colonel, i do not know what you and i shall do without the miss dashwoods;"--was mrs. jennings's address to him when he first called on her, after their leaving her was settled--"for they are quite resolved upon going home from the palmers;--and how forlorn we shall be, when i come back!--lord! we shall sit and gape at one another as dull as two cats." perhaps mrs. jennings was in hopes, by this vigorous sketch of their future ennui, to provoke him to make that offer, which might give himself an escape from it; and if so, she had soon afterwards good reason to think her object gained; for, on elinor's moving to the window to take more expeditiously the dimensions of a print, which she was going to copy for her friend, he followed her to it with a look of particular meaning, and conversed with her there for several minutes. the effect of his discourse on the lady too, could not escape her observation, for though she was too honorable to listen, and had even changed her seat, on purpose that she might _not_ hear, to one close by the piano forte on which marianne was playing, she could not keep herself from seeing that elinor changed colour, attended with agitation, and was too intent on what he said to pursue her employment. still farther in confirmation of her hopes, in the interval of marianne's turning from one lesson to another, some words of the colonel's inevitably reached her ear, in which he seemed to be apologising for the badness of his house. this set the matter beyond a doubt. she wondered, indeed, at his thinking it necessary to do so; but supposed it to be the proper etiquette. what elinor said in reply she could not distinguish, but judged from the motion of her lips, that she did not think _that_ any material objection;--and mrs. jennings commended her in her heart for being so honest. they then talked on for a few minutes longer without her catching a syllable, when another lucky stop in marianne's performance brought her these words in the colonel's calm voice,-"i am afraid it cannot take place very soon." astonished and shocked at so unlover-like a speech, she was almost ready to cry out, "lord! what should hinder it?"--but checking her desire, confined herself to this silent ejaculation. "this is very strange!--sure he need not wait to be older." this delay on the colonel's side, however, did not seem to offend or mortify his fair companion in the least, for on their breaking up the conference soon afterwards, and moving different ways, mrs. jennings very plainly heard elinor say, and with a voice which showed her to feel what she said-"i shall always think myself very much obliged to you." mrs. jennings was delighted with her gratitude, and only wondered that after hearing such a sentence, the colonel should be able to take leave of them, as he immediately did, with the utmost sang-froid, and go away without making her any reply!--she had not thought her old friend could have made so indifferent a suitor. what had really passed between them was to this effect. "i have heard," said he, with great compassion, "of the injustice your friend mr. ferrars has suffered from his family; for if i understand the matter right, he has been entirely cast off by them for persevering in his engagement with a very deserving young woman. have i been rightly informed?--is it so?--" elinor told him that it was. "the cruelty, the impolitic cruelty,"--he replied, with great feeling,--"of dividing, or attempting to divide, two young people long attached to each other, is terrible. mrs. ferrars does not know what she may be doing--what she may drive her son to. i have seen mr. ferrars two or three times in harley street, and am much pleased with him. he is not a young man with whom one can be intimately acquainted in a short time, but i have seen enough of him to wish him well for his own sake, and as a friend of yours, i wish it still more. i understand that he intends to take orders. will you be so good as to tell him that the living of delaford, now just vacant, as i am informed by this day's post, is his, if he think it worth his acceptance--but _that_, perhaps, so unfortunately circumstanced as he is now, it may be nonsense to appear to doubt; i only wish it were more valuable. it is a rectory, but a small one; the late incumbent, i believe, did not make more than 200 l per annum, and though it is certainly capable of improvement, i fear, not to such an amount as to afford him a very comfortable income. such as it is, however, my pleasure in presenting him to it, will be very great. pray assure him of it." elinor's astonishment at this commission could hardly have been greater, had the colonel been really making her an offer of his hand. the preferment, which only two days before she had considered as hopeless for edward, was already provided to enable him to marry;--and _she_, of all people in the world, was fixed on to bestow it!--her emotion was such as mrs. jennings had attributed to a very different cause;--but whatever minor feelings less pure, less pleasing, might have a share in that emotion, her esteem for the general benevolence, and her gratitude for the particular friendship, which together prompted colonel brandon to this act, were strongly felt, and warmly expressed. she thanked him for it with all her heart, spoke of edward's principles and disposition with that praise which she knew them to deserve; and promised to undertake the commission with pleasure, if it were really his wish to put off so agreeable an office to another. but at the same time, she could not help thinking that no one could so well perform it as himself. it was an office in short, from which, unwilling to give edward the pain of receiving an obligation from _her_, she would have been very glad to be spared herself; but colonel brandon, on motives of equal delicacy, declining it likewise, still seemed so desirous of its being given through her means, that she would not on any account make farther opposition. edward, she believed, was still in town, and fortunately she had heard his address from miss steele. she could undertake therefore to inform him of it, in the course of the day. after this had been settled, colonel brandon began to talk of his own advantage in securing so respectable and agreeable a neighbour, and _then_ it was that he mentioned with regret, that the house was small and indifferent; an evil which elinor, as mrs. jennings had supposed her to do, made very light of, at least as far as regarded its size. "the smallness of the house," said she, "i cannot imagine any inconvenience to them, for it will be in proportion to their family and income." by which the colonel was surprised to find that _she_ was considering mr. ferrars's marriage as the certain consequence of the presentation; for he did not suppose it possible that delaford living could supply such an income, as anybody in his style of life would venture to settle on, and he said so. "this little rectory _can_ do no more than make mr. ferrars comfortable as a bachelor; it cannot enable him to marry. i am sorry to say that my patronage ends with this; and my interest is hardly more extensive. if, however, by an unforeseen chance it should be in my power to serve him farther, i must think very differently of him from what i now do, if i am not as ready to be useful to him then as i sincerely wish i could be at present. what i am now doing indeed, seems nothing at all, since it can advance him so little towards what must be his principal, his only object of happiness. his marriage must still be a distant good;--at least, i am afraid it cannot take place very soon." such was the sentence which, when misunderstood, so justly offended the delicate feelings of mrs. jennings; but after this narration of what really passed between colonel brandon and elinor, while they stood at the window, the gratitude expressed by the latter on their parting, may perhaps appear in general, not less reasonably excited, nor less properly worded than if it had arisen from an offer of marriage. chapter xl "well, miss dashwood," said mrs. jennings, sagaciously smiling, as soon as the gentleman had withdrawn, "i do not ask you what the colonel has been saying to you; for though, upon my honour, i _tried_ to keep out of hearing, i could not help catching enough to understand his business. and i assure you i never was better pleased in my life, and i wish you joy of it with all my heart." "thank you, ma'am," said elinor. "it is a matter of great joy to me; and i feel the goodness of colonel brandon most sensibly. there are not many men who would act as he has done. few people who have so compassionate a heart! i never was more astonished in my life." "lord! my dear, you are very modest. i an't the least astonished at it in the world, for i have often thought of late, there was nothing more likely to happen." "you judged from your knowledge of the colonel's general benevolence; but at least you could not foresee that the opportunity would so very soon occur." "opportunity!" repeated mrs. jennings--"oh! as to that, when a man has once made up his mind to such a thing, somehow or other he will soon find an opportunity. well, my dear, i wish you joy of it again and again; and if ever there was a happy couple in the world, i think i shall soon know where to look for them." "you mean to go to delaford after them i suppose," said elinor, with a faint smile. "aye, my dear, that i do, indeed. and as to the house being a bad one, i do not know what the colonel would be at, for it is as good a one as ever i saw." "he spoke of its being out of repair." "well, and whose fault is that? why don't he repair it? who should do it but himself?" they were interrupted by the servant's coming in to announce the carriage being at the door; and mrs. jennings immediately preparing to go, said-"well, my dear, i must be gone before i have had half my talk out. but, however, we may have it all over in the evening; for we shall be quite alone. i do not ask you to go with me, for i dare say your mind is too full of the matter to care for company; and besides, you must long to tell your sister all about it." marianne had left the room before the conversation began. "certainly, ma'am, i shall tell marianne of it; but i shall not mention it at present to any body else." "oh! very well," said mrs. jennings rather disappointed. "then you would not have me tell it to lucy, for i think of going as far as holborn to-day." "no, ma'am, not even lucy if you please. one day's delay will not be very material; and till i have written to mr. ferrars, i think it ought not to be mentioned to any body else. i shall do _that_ directly. it is of importance that no time should be lost with him, for he will of course have much to do relative to his ordination." this speech at first puzzled mrs. jennings exceedingly. why mr. ferrars was to have been written to about it in such a hurry, she could not immediately comprehend. a few moments' reflection, however, produced a very happy idea, and she exclaimed-"oh, ho! i understand you. mr. ferrars is to be the man. well, so much the better for him. ay, to be sure, he must be ordained in readiness; and i am very glad to find things are so forward between you. but, my dear, is not this rather out of character? should not the colonel write himself? sure, he is the proper person." elinor did not quite understand the beginning of mrs. jennings's speech, neither did she think it worth inquiring into; and therefore only replied to its conclusion. "colonel brandon is so delicate a man, that he rather wished any one to announce his intentions to mr. ferrars than himself." "and so _you_ are forced to do it. well _that_ is an odd kind of delicacy! however, i will not disturb you (seeing her preparing to write.) you know your own concerns best. so good-bye, my dear. i have not heard of any thing to please me so well since charlotte was brought to bed." and away she went; but returning again in a moment-"i have just been thinking of betty's sister, my dear. i should be very glad to get her so good a mistress. but whether she would do for a lady's maid, i am sure i can't tell. she is an excellent housemaid, and works very well at her needle. however, you will think of all that at your leisure." "certainly, ma'am," replied elinor, not hearing much of what she said, and more anxious to be alone, than to be mistress of the subject. how she should begin--how she should express herself in her note to edward, was now all her concern. the particular circumstances between them made a difficulty of that which to any other person would have been the easiest thing in the world; but she equally feared to say too much or too little, and sat deliberating over her paper, with the pen in her hand, till broken in on by the entrance of edward himself. he had met mrs. jennings at the door in her way to the carriage, as he came to leave his farewell card; and she, after apologising for not returning herself, had obliged him to enter, by saying that miss dashwood was above, and wanted to speak with him on very particular business. elinor had just been congratulating herself, in the midst of her perplexity, that however difficult it might be to express herself properly by letter, it was at least preferable to giving the information by word of mouth, when her visitor entered, to force her upon this greatest exertion of all. her astonishment and confusion were very great on his so sudden appearance. she had not seen him before since his engagement became public, and therefore not since his knowing her to be acquainted with it; which, with the consciousness of what she had been thinking of, and what she had to tell him, made her feel particularly uncomfortable for some minutes. he too was much distressed; and they sat down together in a most promising state of embarrassment. whether he had asked her pardon for his intrusion on first coming into the room, he could not recollect; but determining to be on the safe side, he made his apology in form as soon as he could say any thing, after taking a chair. "mrs. jennings told me," said he, "that you wished to speak with me, at least i understood her so--or i certainly should not have intruded on you in such a manner; though at the same time, i should have been extremely sorry to leave london without seeing you and your sister; especially as it will most likely be some time--it is not probable that i should soon have the pleasure of meeting you again. i go to oxford tomorrow." "you would not have gone, however," said elinor, recovering herself, and determined to get over what she so much dreaded as soon as possible, "without receiving our good wishes, even if we had not been able to give them in person. mrs. jennings was quite right in what she said. i have something of consequence to inform you of, which i was on the point of communicating by paper. i am charged with a most agreeable office (breathing rather faster than usual as she spoke.) colonel brandon, who was here only ten minutes ago, has desired me to say, that understanding you mean to take orders, he has great pleasure in offering you the living of delaford now just vacant, and only wishes it were more valuable. allow me to congratulate you on having so respectable and well-judging a friend, and to join in his wish that the living--it is about two hundred a-year--were much more considerable, and such as might better enable you to--as might be more than a temporary accommodation to yourself--such, in short, as might establish all your views of happiness." what edward felt, as he could not say it himself, it cannot be expected that any one else should say for him. he _looked_ all the astonishment which such unexpected, such unthought-of information could not fail of exciting; but he said only these two words-"colonel brandon!" "yes," continued elinor, gathering more resolution, as some of the worst was over, "colonel brandon means it as a testimony of his concern for what has lately passed--for the cruel situation in which the unjustifiable conduct of your family has placed you--a concern which i am sure marianne, myself, and all your friends, must share; and likewise as a proof of his high esteem for your general character, and his particular approbation of your behaviour on the present occasion." "colonel brandon give _me_ a living!--can it be possible?" "the unkindness of your own relations has made you astonished to find friendship any where." "no," replied be, with sudden consciousness, "not to find it in _you_; for i cannot be ignorant that to you, to your goodness, i owe it all. i feel it--i would express it if i could--but, as you well know, i am no orator." "you are very much mistaken. i do assure you that you owe it entirely, at least almost entirely, to your own merit, and colonel brandon's discernment of it. i have had no hand in it. i did not even know, till i understood his design, that the living was vacant; nor had it ever occurred to me that he might have had such a living in his gift. as a friend of mine, of my family, he may, perhaps--indeed i know he _has_, still greater pleasure in bestowing it; but, upon my word, you owe nothing to my solicitation." truth obliged her to acknowledge some small share in the action, but she was at the same time so unwilling to appear as the benefactress of edward, that she acknowledged it with hesitation; which probably contributed to fix that suspicion in his mind which had recently entered it. for a short time he sat deep in thought, after elinor had ceased to speak;--at last, and as if it were rather an effort, he said-"colonel brandon seems a man of great worth and respectability. i have always heard him spoken of as such, and your brother i know esteems him highly. he is undoubtedly a sensible man, and in his manners perfectly the gentleman." "indeed," replied elinor, "i believe that you will find him, on farther acquaintance, all that you have heard him to be, and as you will be such very near neighbours (for i understand the parsonage is almost close to the mansion-house,) it is particularly important that he _should_ be all this." edward made no answer; but when she had turned away her head, gave her a look so serious, so earnest, so uncheerful, as seemed to say, that he might hereafter wish the distance between the parsonage and the mansion-house much greater. "colonel brandon, i think, lodges in st. james street," said he, soon afterwards, rising from his chair. elinor told him the number of the house. "i must hurry away then, to give him those thanks which you will not allow me to give _you_; to assure him that he has made me a very--an exceedingly happy man." elinor did not offer to detain him; and they parted, with a very earnest assurance on _her_ side of her unceasing good wishes for his happiness in every change of situation that might befall him; on _his_, with rather an attempt to return the same good will, than the power of expressing it. "when i see him again," said elinor to herself, as the door shut him out, "i shall see him the husband of lucy." and with this pleasing anticipation, she sat down to reconsider the past, recall the words and endeavour to comprehend all the feelings of edward; and, of course, to reflect on her own with discontent. when mrs. jennings came home, though she returned from seeing people whom she had never seen before, and of whom therefore she must have a great deal to say, her mind was so much more occupied by the important secret in her possession, than by anything else, that she reverted to it again as soon as elinor appeared. "well, my dear," she cried, "i sent you up the young man. did not i do right?--and i suppose you had no great difficulty--you did not find him very unwilling to accept your proposal?" "no, ma'am; _that_ was not very likely." "well, and how soon will he be ready?--for it seems all to depend upon that." "really," said elinor, "i know so little of these kind of forms, that i can hardly even conjecture as to the time, or the preparation necessary; but i suppose two or three months will complete his ordination." "two or three months!" cried mrs. jennings; "lord! my dear, how calmly you talk of it; and can the colonel wait two or three months! lord bless me!--i am sure it would put _me_ quite out of patience!--and though one would be very glad to do a kindness by poor mr. ferrars, i do think it is not worth while to wait two or three months for him. sure somebody else might be found that would do as well; somebody that is in orders already." "my dear ma'am," said elinor, "what can you be thinking of? why, colonel brandon's only object is to be of use to mr. ferrars." "lord bless you, my dear! sure you do not mean to persuade me that the colonel only marries you for the sake of giving ten guineas to mr. ferrars!" [illustration: _both gained considerable amusement_] the deception could not continue after this; and an explanation immediately took place, by which both gained considerable amusement for the moment, without any material loss of happiness to either, for mrs. jennings only exchanged one form of delight for another, and still without forfeiting her expectation of the first. "aye, aye, the parsonage is but a small one," said she, after the first ebullition of surprise and satisfaction was over, "and very likely _may_ be out of repair; but to hear a man apologising, as i thought, for a house that to my knowledge has five sitting rooms on the ground-floor, and i think the housekeeper told me could make up fifteen beds! and to you too, that had been used to live in barton cottage! it seems quite ridiculous. but, my dear, we must touch up the colonel to do some thing to the parsonage, and make it comfortable for them, before lucy goes to it." "but colonel brandon does not seem to have any idea of the living's being enough to allow them to marry." "the colonel is a ninny, my dear; because he has two thousand a-year himself, he thinks that nobody else can marry on less. take my word for it, that, if i am alive, i shall be paying a visit at delaford parsonage before michaelmas; and i am sure i shan't go if lucy an't there." elinor was quite of her opinion, as to the probability of their not waiting for any thing more. chapter xli edward, having carried his thanks to colonel brandon, proceeded with his happiness to lucy; and such was the excess of it by the time he reached bartlett's buildings, that she was able to assure mrs. jennings, who called on her again the next day with her congratulations, that she had never seen him in such spirits before in her life. her own happiness, and her own spirits, were at least very certain; and she joined mrs. jennings most heartily in her expectation of their being all comfortably together in delaford parsonage before michaelmas. so far was she, at the same time, from any backwardness to give elinor that credit which edward _would_ give her, that she spoke of her friendship for them both with the most grateful warmth, was ready to own all their obligation to her, and openly declared that no exertion for their good on miss dashwood's part, either present or future, would ever surprise her, for she believed her capable of doing any thing in the world for those she really valued. as for colonel brandon, she was not only ready to worship him as a saint, but was moreover truly anxious that he should be treated as one in all worldly concerns; anxious that his tithes should be raised to the utmost; and scarcely resolved to avail herself, at delaford, as far as she possibly could, of his servants, his carriage, his cows, and his poultry. it was now above a week since john dashwood had called in berkeley street, and as since that time no notice had been taken by them of his wife's indisposition, beyond one verbal enquiry, elinor began to feel it necessary to pay her a visit. this was an obligation, however, which not only opposed her own inclination, but which had not the assistance of any encouragement from her companions. marianne, not contented with absolutely refusing to go herself, was very urgent to prevent her sister's going at all; and mrs. jennings, though her carriage was always at elinor's service, so very much disliked mrs. john dashwood, that not even her curiosity to see how she looked after the late discovery, nor her strong desire to affront her by taking edward's part, could overcome her unwillingness to be in her company again. the consequence was, that elinor set out by herself to pay a visit, for which no one could really have less inclination, and to run the risk of a tête-à-tête with a woman, whom neither of the others had so much reason to dislike. mrs. dashwood was denied; but before the carriage could turn from the house, her husband accidentally came out. he expressed great pleasure in meeting elinor, told her that he had been just going to call in berkeley street, and, assuring her that fanny would be very glad to see her, invited her to come in. they walked up stairs in to the drawing-room. nobody was there. "fanny is in her own room, i suppose," said he:--"i will go to her presently, for i am sure she will not have the least objection in the world to seeing _you._ very far from it, indeed. _now_ especially there cannot be--but however, you and marianne were always great favourites. why would not marianne come?"-elinor made what excuse she could for her. "i am not sorry to see you alone," he replied, "for i have a good deal to say to you. this living of colonel brandon's--can it be true?--has he really given it to edward?--i heard it yesterday by chance, and was coming to you on purpose to enquire farther about it." "it is perfectly true. colonel brandon has given the living of delaford to edward." "really!--well, this is very astonishing!--no relationship!--no connection between them!--and now that livings fetch such a price!--what was the value of this?" "about two hundred a year." "very well--and for the next presentation to a living of that value--supposing the late incumbent to have been old and sickly, and likely to vacate it soon--he might have got i dare say--fourteen hundred pounds. and how came he not to have settled that matter before this person's death? _now_ indeed it would be too late to sell it, but a man of colonel brandon's sense!--i wonder he should be so improvident in a point of such common, such natural, concern!--well, i am convinced that there is a vast deal of inconsistency in almost every human character. i suppose, however--on recollection--that the case may probably be _this._ edward is only to hold the living till the person to whom the colonel has really sold the presentation, is old enough to take it. aye, aye, that is the fact, depend upon it." elinor contradicted it, however, very positively; and by relating that she had herself been employed in conveying the offer from colonel brandon to edward, and, therefore, must understand the terms on which it was given, obliged him to submit to her authority. "it is truly astonishing!"--he cried, after hearing what she said--"what could be the colonel's motive?" "a very simple one--to be of use to mr. ferrars." "well, well; whatever colonel brandon may be, edward is a very lucky man. you will not mention the matter to fanny, however, for though i have broke it to her, and she bears it vastly well,--she will not like to hear it much talked of." elinor had some difficulty here to refrain from observing, that she thought fanny might have borne with composure, an acquisition of wealth to her brother, by which neither she nor her child could be possibly impoverished. "mrs. ferrars," added he, lowering his voice to the tone becoming so important a subject, "knows nothing about it at present, and i believe it will be best to keep it entirely concealed from her as long as may be. when the marriage takes place, i fear she must hear of it all." "but why should such precaution be used? though it is not to be supposed that mrs. ferrars can have the smallest satisfaction in knowing that her son has money enough to live upon,--for _that_ must be quite out of the question; yet why, upon her late behaviour, is she supposed to feel at all? she has done with her son, she cast him off for ever, and has made all those over whom she had any influence, cast him off likewise. surely, after doing so, she cannot be imagined liable to any impression of sorrow or of joy on his account--she cannot be interested in any thing that befalls him. she would not be so weak as to throw away the comfort of a child, and yet retain the anxiety of a parent!" "ah! elinor," said john, "your reasoning is very good, but it is founded on ignorance of human nature. when edward's unhappy match takes place, depend upon it his mother will feel as much as if she had never discarded him; and, therefore every circumstance that may accelerate that dreadful event, must be concealed from her as much as possible. mrs. ferrars can never forget that edward is her son." "you surprise me; i should think it must nearly have escaped her memory by _this_ time." "you wrong her exceedingly. mrs. ferrars is one of the most affectionate mothers in the world." elinor was silent. "we think _now_,"--said mr. dashwood, after a short pause, "of _robert's_ marrying miss morton." elinor, smiling at the grave and decisive importance of her brother's tone, calmly replied-"the lady, i suppose, has no choice in the affair." "choice!--how do you mean?" "i only mean that i suppose, from your manner of speaking, it must be the same to miss morton whether she marry edward or robert." "certainly, there can be no difference; for robert will now to all intents and purposes be considered as the eldest son;--and as to any thing else, they are both very agreeable young men: i do not know that one is superior to the other." elinor said no more, and john was also for a short time silent. his reflections ended thus. "of _one_ thing, my dear sister," kindly taking her hand, and speaking in an awful whisper,--"i may assure you; and i _will_ do it, because i know it must gratify you. i have good reason to think--indeed i have it from the best authority, or i should not repeat it, for otherwise it would be very wrong to say any thing about it,--but i have it from the very best authority,--not that i ever precisely heard mrs. ferrars say it herself--but her daughter _did_, and i have it from her,--that in short, whatever objections there might be against a certain--a certain connection, you understand me,--it would have been far preferable to her, it would not have given her half the vexation that _this_ does. i was exceedingly pleased to hear that mrs. ferrars considered it in that light; a very gratifying circumstance you know to us all. 'it would have been beyond comparison,' she said, 'the least evil of the two, and she would be glad to compound _now_ for nothing worse.' but however, all that is quite out of the question,--not to be thought of or mentioned. as to any attachment you know, it never could be; all that is gone by. but i thought i would just tell you of this, because i knew how much it must please you. not that you have any reason to regret, my dear elinor. there is no doubt of your doing exceedingly well,--quite as well, or better, perhaps, all things considered. has colonel brandon been with you lately?" elinor had heard enough, if not to gratify her vanity, and raise her self-importance, to agitate her nerves and fill her mind;--and she was therefore glad to be spared from the necessity of saying much in reply herself, and from the danger of hearing any thing more from her brother, by the entrance of mr. robert ferrars. after a few moments' chat, john dashwood, recollecting that fanny was yet uninformed of her sister's being there, quitted the room in quest of her; and elinor was left to improve her acquaintance with robert, who, by the gay unconcern, the happy self-complacency of his manner while enjoying so unfair a division of his mother's love and liberality, to the prejudice of his banished brother, earned only by his own dissipated course of life, and that brother's integrity, was confirming her most unfavourable opinion of his head and heart. [illustration: "_of one thing i may assure you._"] they had scarcely been two minutes by themselves, before he began to speak of edward; for he, too, had heard of the living, and was very inquisitive on the subject. elinor repeated the particulars of it, as she had given them to john; and their effect on robert, though very different, was not less striking than it had been on _him._ he laughed most immoderately. the idea of edward's being a clergyman, and living in a small parsonage-house, diverted him beyond measure;--and when to that was added the fanciful imagery of edward reading prayers in a white surplice, and publishing the banns of marriage between john smith and mary brown, he could conceive nothing more ridiculous. elinor, while she waited in silence and immovable gravity, the conclusion of such folly, could not restrain her eyes from being fixed on him with a look that spoke all the contempt it excited. it was a look, however, very well bestowed, for it relieved her own feelings, and gave no intelligence to him. he was recalled from wit to wisdom, not by any reproof of her's, but by his own sensibility. "we may treat it as a joke," said he, at last, recovering from the affected laugh which had considerably lengthened out the genuine gaiety of the moment; "but, upon my soul, it is a most serious business. poor edward! he is ruined for ever. i am extremely sorry for it; for i know him to be a very good-hearted creature,--as well-meaning a fellow perhaps, as any in the world. you must not judge of him, miss dashwood, from _your_ slight acquaintance. poor edward! his manners are certainly not the happiest in nature. but we are not all born, you know, with the same powers,--the same address. poor fellow! to see him in a circle of strangers! to be sure it was pitiable enough; but upon my soul, i believe he has as good a heart as any in the kingdom; and i declare and protest to you i never was so shocked in my life, as when it all burst forth. i could not believe it. my mother was the first person who told me of it; and i, feeling myself called on to act with resolution, immediately said to her,--'my dear madam, i do not know what you may intend to do on the occasion, but as for myself, i must say, that if edward does marry this young woman, i never will see him again.' that was what i said immediately. i was most uncommonly shocked, indeed! poor edward! he has done for himself completely,--shut himself out for ever from all decent society! but, as i directly said to my mother, i am not in the least surprised at it; from his style of education, it was always to be expected. my poor mother was half frantic." "have you ever seen the lady?" "yes; once, while she was staying in this house, i happened to drop in for ten minutes; and i saw quite enough of her. the merest awkward country girl, without style, or elegance, and almost without beauty. i remember her perfectly. just the kind of girl i should suppose likely to captivate poor edward. i offered immediately, as soon as my mother related the affair to me, to talk to him myself, and dissuade him from the match; but it was too late _then_, i found, to do any thing, for unluckily, i was not in the way at first, and knew nothing of it till after the breach had taken place, when it was not for me, you know, to interfere. but had i been informed of it a few hours earlier, i think it is most probable that something might have been hit on. i certainly should have represented it to edward in a very strong light. 'my dear fellow,' i should have said, 'consider what you are doing. you are making a most disgraceful connection, and such a one as your family are unanimous in disapproving.' i cannot help thinking, in short, that means might have been found. but now it is all too late. he must be starved, you know, that is certain; absolutely starved." he had just settled this point with great composure, when the entrance of mrs. john dashwood put an end to the subject. but though _she_ never spoke of it out of her own family, elinor could see its influence on her mind, in the something like confusion of countenance with which she entered, and an attempt at cordiality in her behaviour to herself. she even proceeded so far as to be concerned to find that elinor and her sister were so soon to leave town, as she had hoped to see more of them;--an exertion in which her husband, who attended her into the room, and hung enamoured over her accents, seemed to distinguish every thing that was most affectionate and graceful. chapter xlii one other short call in harley street, in which elinor received her brother's congratulations on their travelling so far towards barton without any expense, and on colonel brandon's being to follow them to cleveland in a day or two, completed the intercourse of the brother and sisters in town;--and a faint invitation from fanny, to come to norland whenever it should happen to be in their way, which of all things was the most unlikely to occur, with a more warm, though less public, assurance, from john to elinor, of the promptitude with which he should come to see her at delaford, was all that foretold any meeting in the country. it amused her to observe that all her friends seemed determined to send her to delaford;--a place, in which, of all others, she would now least choose to visit, or wish to reside; for not only was it considered as her future home by her brother and mrs. jennings, but even lucy, when they parted, gave her a pressing invitation to visit her there. very early in april, and tolerably early in the day, the two parties from hanover square and berkeley street set out from their respective homes, to meet, by appointment, on the road. for the convenience of charlotte and her child, they were to be more than two days on their journey, and mr. palmer, travelling more expeditiously with colonel brandon, was to join them at cleveland soon after their arrival. marianne, few as had been her hours of comfort in london, and eager as she had long been to quit it, could not, when it came to the point, bid adieu to the house in which she had for the last time enjoyed those hopes, and that confidence, in willoughby, which were now extinguished for ever, without great pain. nor could she leave the place in which willoughby remained, busy in new engagements, and new schemes, in which _she_ could have no share, without shedding many tears. elinor's satisfaction, at the moment of removal, was more positive. she had no such object for her lingering thoughts to fix on, she left no creature behind, from whom it would give her a moment's regret to be divided for ever, she was pleased to be free herself from the persecution of lucy's friendship, she was grateful for bringing her sister away unseen by willoughby since his marriage, and she looked forward with hope to what a few months of tranquility at barton might do towards restoring marianne's peace of mind, and confirming her own. their journey was safely performed. the second day brought them into the cherished, or the prohibited, county of somerset, for as such was it dwelt on by turns in marianne's imagination; and in the forenoon of the third they drove up to cleveland. cleveland was a spacious, modern-built house, situated on a sloping lawn. it had no park, but the pleasure-grounds were tolerably extensive; and like every other place of the same degree of importance, it had its open shrubbery, and closer wood walk, a road of smooth gravel winding round a plantation, led to the front, the lawn was dotted over with timber, the house itself was under the guardianship of the fir, the mountain-ash, and the acacia, and a thick screen of them altogether, interspersed with tall lombardy poplars, shut out the offices. marianne entered the house with a heart swelling with emotion from the consciousness of being only eighty miles from barton, and not thirty from combe magna; and before she had been five minutes within its walls, while the others were busily helping charlotte to show her child to the housekeeper, she quitted it again, stealing away through the winding shrubberies, now just beginning to be in beauty, to gain a distant eminence; where, from its grecian temple, her eye, wandering over a wide tract of country to the south-east, could fondly rest on the farthest ridge of hills in the horizon, and fancy that from their summits combe magna might be seen. in such moments of precious, invaluable misery, she rejoiced in tears of agony to be at cleveland; and as she returned by a different circuit to the house, feeling all the happy privilege of country liberty, of wandering from place to place in free and luxurious solitude, she resolved to spend almost every hour of every day while she remained with the palmers, in the indulgence of such solitary rambles. [illustration: _showing her child to the housekeeper._] she returned just in time to join the others as they quitted the house, on an excursion through its more immediate premises; and the rest of the morning was easily whiled away, in lounging round the kitchen garden, examining the bloom upon its walls, and listening to the gardener's lamentations upon blights, in dawdling through the green-house, where the loss of her favourite plants, unwarily exposed, and nipped by the lingering frost, raised the laughter of charlotte,--and in visiting her poultry-yard, where, in the disappointed hopes of her dairy-maid, by hens forsaking their nests, or being stolen by a fox, or in the rapid decrease of a promising young brood, she found fresh sources of merriment. the morning was fine and dry, and marianne, in her plan of employment abroad, had not calculated for any change of weather during their stay at cleveland. with great surprise therefore, did she find herself prevented by a settled rain from going out again after dinner. she had depended on a twilight walk to the grecian temple, and perhaps all over the grounds, and an evening merely cold or damp would not have deterred her from it; but a heavy and settled rain even _she_ could not fancy dry or pleasant weather for walking. their party was small, and the hours passed quietly away. mrs. palmer had her child, and mrs. jennings her carpet-work; they talked of the friends they had left behind, arranged lady middleton's engagements, and wondered whether mr. palmer and colonel brandon would get farther than reading that night. elinor, however little concerned in it, joined in their discourse; and marianne, who had the knack of finding her way in every house to the library, however it might be avoided by the family in general, soon procured herself a book. nothing was wanting on mrs. palmer's side that constant and friendly good humour could do, to make them feel themselves welcome. the openness and heartiness of her manner more than atoned for that want of recollection and elegance which made her often deficient in the forms of politeness; her kindness, recommended by so pretty a face, was engaging; her folly, though evident was not disgusting, because it was not conceited; and elinor could have forgiven every thing but her laugh. [illustration: _the gardener's lamentations._] the two gentlemen arrived the next day to a very late dinner, affording a pleasant enlargement of the party, and a very welcome variety to their conversation, which a long morning of the same continued rain had reduced very low. elinor had seen so little of mr. palmer, and in that little had seen so much variety in his address to her sister and herself, that she knew not what to expect to find him in his own family. she found him, however, perfectly the gentleman in his behaviour to all his visitors, and only occasionally rude to his wife and her mother; she found him very capable of being a pleasant companion, and only prevented from being so always, by too great an aptitude to fancy himself as much superior to people in general, as he must feel himself to be to mrs. jennings and charlotte. for the rest of his character and habits, they were marked, as far as elinor could perceive, with no traits at all unusual in his sex and time of life. he was nice in his eating, uncertain in his hours; fond of his child, though affecting to slight it; and idled away the mornings at billiards, which ought to have been devoted to business. she liked him, however, upon the whole, much better than she had expected, and in her heart was not sorry that she could like him no more; not sorry to be driven by the observation of his epicurism, his selfishness, and his conceit, to rest with complacency on the remembrance of edward's generous temper, simple taste, and diffident feelings. of edward, or at least of some of his concerns, she now received intelligence from colonel brandon, who had been into dorsetshire lately; and who, treating her at once as the disinterested friend of mr. ferrars, and the kind confidante of himself, talked to her a great deal of the parsonage at delaford, described its deficiencies, and told her what he meant to do himself towards removing them. his behaviour to her in this, as well as in every other particular, his open pleasure in meeting her after an absence of only ten days, his readiness to converse with her, and his deference for her opinion, might very well justify mrs. jennings's persuasion of his attachment, and would have been enough, perhaps, had not elinor still, as from the first, believed marianne his real favourite, to make her suspect it herself. but as it was, such a notion had scarcely ever entered her head, except by mrs. jennings's suggestion; and she could not help believing herself the nicest observer of the two: she watched his eyes, while mrs. jennings thought only of his behaviour; and while his looks of anxious solicitude on marianne's feeling, in her head and throat, the beginning of a heavy cold, because unexpressed by words, entirely escaped the latter lady's observation,--_she_ could discover in them the quick feelings, and needless alarm of a lover. two delightful twilight walks on the third and fourth evenings of her being there, not merely on the dry gravel of the shrubbery, but all over the grounds, and especially in the most distant parts of them, where there was something more of wildness than in the rest, where the trees were the oldest, and the grass was the longest and wettest, had--assisted by the still greater imprudence of sitting in her wet shoes and stockings--given marianne a cold so violent as, though for a day or two trifled with or denied, would force itself by increasing ailments on the concern of every body, and the notice of herself. prescriptions poured in from all quarters, and as usual, were all declined. though heavy and feverish, with a pain in her limbs, and a cough, and a sore throat, a good night's rest was to cure her entirely; and it was with difficulty that elinor prevailed on her, when she went to bed, to try one or two of the simplest of the remedies. chapter xliii marianne got up the next morning at her usual time; to every inquiry replied that she was better, and tried to prove herself so, by engaging in her accustomary employments. but a day spent in sitting shivering over the fire with a book in her hand, which she was unable to read, or in lying, weary and languid, on a sofa, did not speak much in favour of her amendment; and when, at last, she went early to bed, more and more indisposed, colonel brandon was only astonished at her sister's composure, who, though attending and nursing her the whole day, against marianne's inclination, and forcing proper medicines on her at night, trusted, like marianne, to the certainty and efficacy of sleep, and felt no real alarm. a very restless and feverish night, however, disappointed the expectation of both; and when marianne, after persisting in rising, confessed herself unable to sit up, and returned voluntarily to her bed, elinor was very ready to adopt mrs. jennings's advice, of sending for the palmers' apothecary. he came, examined his patient, and though encouraging miss dashwood to expect that a very few days would restore her sister to health, yet, by pronouncing her disorder to have a putrid tendency, and allowing the word "infection" to pass his lips, gave instant alarm to mrs. palmer, on her baby's account. mrs. jennings, who had been inclined from the first to think marianne's complaint more serious than elinor, now looked very grave on mr. harris's report, and confirming charlotte's fears and caution, urged the necessity of her immediate removal with her infant; and mr. palmer, though treating their apprehensions as idle, found the anxiety and importunity of his wife too great to be withstood. her departure, therefore, was fixed on; and within an hour after mr. harris's arrival, she set off, with her little boy and his nurse, for the house of a near relation of mr. palmer's, who lived a few miles on the other side of bath; whither her husband promised, at her earnest entreaty, to join her in a day or two; and whither she was almost equally urgent with her mother to accompany her. mrs. jennings, however, with a kindness of heart which made elinor really love her, declared her resolution of not stirring from cleveland as long as marianne remained ill, and of endeavouring, by her own attentive care, to supply to her the place of the mother she had taken her from; and elinor found her on every occasion a most willing and active helpmate, desirous to share in all her fatigues, and often by her better experience in nursing, of material use. poor marianne, languid and low from the nature of her malady, and feeling herself universally ill, could no longer hope that tomorrow would find her recovered; and the idea of what tomorrow would have produced, but for this unlucky illness, made every ailment severe; for on that day they were to have begun their journey home; and, attended the whole way by a servant of mrs. jennings, were to have taken their mother by surprise on the following forenoon. the little she said was all in lamentation of this inevitable delay; though elinor tried to raise her spirits, and make her believe, as she _then_ really believed herself, that it would be a very short one. the next day produced little or no alteration in the state of the patient; she certainly was not better, and, except that there was no amendment, did not appear worse. their party was now farther reduced; for mr. palmer, though very unwilling to go as well from real humanity and good-nature, as from a dislike of appearing to be frightened away by his wife, was persuaded at last by colonel brandon to perform his promise of following her; and while he was preparing to go, colonel brandon himself, with a much greater exertion, began to talk of going likewise. here, however, the kindness of mrs. jennings interposed most acceptably; for to send the colonel away while his love was in so much uneasiness on her sister's account, would be to deprive them both, she thought, of every comfort; and therefore telling him at once that his stay at cleveland was necessary to herself, that she should want him to play at piquet of an evening, while miss dashwood was above with her sister, &c. she urged him so strongly to remain, that he, who was gratifying the first wish of his own heart by a compliance, could not long even affect to demur; especially as mrs. jennings's entreaty was warmly seconded by mr. palmer, who seemed to feel a relief to himself, in leaving behind him a person so well able to assist or advise miss dashwood in any emergence. marianne was, of course, kept in ignorance of all these arrangements. she knew not that she had been the means of sending the owners of cleveland away, in about seven days from the time of their arrival. it gave her no surprise that she saw nothing of mrs. palmer; and as it gave her likewise no concern, she never mentioned her name. two days passed away from the time of mr. palmer's departure, and her situation continued, with little variation, the same. mr. harris, who attended her every day, still talked boldly of a speedy recovery, and miss dashwood was equally sanguine; but the expectation of the others was by no means so cheerful. mrs. jennings had determined very early in the seizure that marianne would never get over it, and colonel brandon, who was chiefly of use in listening to mrs. jennings's forebodings, was not in a state of mind to resist their influence. he tried to reason himself out of fears, which the different judgment of the apothecary seemed to render absurd; but the many hours of each day in which he was left entirely alone, were but too favourable for the admission of every melancholy idea, and he could not expel from his mind the persuasion that he should see marianne no more. on the morning of the third day however, the gloomy anticipations of both were almost done away; for when mr. harris arrived, he declared his patient materially better. her pulse was much stronger, and every symptom more favourable than on the preceding visit. elinor, confirmed in every pleasant hope, was all cheerfulness; rejoicing that in her letters to her mother, she had pursued her own judgment rather than her friend's, in making very light of the indisposition which delayed them at cleveland; and almost fixing on the time when marianne would be able to travel. but the day did not close so auspiciously as it began. towards the evening marianne became ill again, growing more heavy, restless, and uncomfortable than before. her sister, however, still sanguine, was willing to attribute the change to nothing more than the fatigue of having sat up to have her bed made; and carefully administering the cordials prescribed, saw her, with satisfaction, sink at last into a slumber, from which she expected the most beneficial effects. her sleep, though not so quiet as elinor wished to see it, lasted a considerable time; and anxious to observe the result of it herself, she resolved to sit with her during the whole of it. mrs. jennings, knowing nothing of any change in the patient, went unusually early to bed; her maid, who was one of the principal nurses, was recreating herself in the housekeeper's room, and elinor remained alone with marianne. the repose of the latter became more and more disturbed; and her sister, who watched, with unremitting attention her continual change of posture, and heard the frequent but inarticulate sounds of complaint which passed her lips, was almost wishing to rouse her from so painful a slumber, when marianne, suddenly awakened by some accidental noise in the house, started hastily up, and, with feverish wildness, cried out,-"is mama coming?--" "not yet," cried the other, concealing her terror, and assisting marianne to lie down again, "but she will be here, i hope, before it is long. it is a great way, you know, from hence to barton." "but she must not go round by london," cried marianne, in the same hurried manner. "i shall never see her, if she goes by london." elinor perceived with alarm that she was not quite herself, and, while attempting to soothe her, eagerly felt her pulse. it was lower and quicker than ever! and marianne, still talking wildly of mama, her alarm increased so rapidly, as to determine her on sending instantly for mr. harris, and despatching a messenger to barton for her mother. to consult with colonel brandon on the best means of effecting the latter, was a thought which immediately followed the resolution of its performance; and as soon she had rung up the maid to take her place by her sister, she hastened down to the drawing-room, where she knew he was generally to be found at a much later hour than the present. it was no time for hesitation. her fears and her difficulties were immediately before him. her fears, he had no courage, no confidence to attempt the removal of; he listened to them in silent despondence; but her difficulties were instantly obviated, for with a readiness that seemed to speak the occasion, and the service pre-arranged in his mind, he offered himself as the messenger who should fetch mrs. dashwood. elinor made no resistance that was not easily overcome. she thanked him with brief, though fervent gratitude, and while he went to hurry off his servant with a message to mr. harris, and an order for post-horses directly, she wrote a few lines to her mother. the comfort of such a friend at that moment as colonel brandon--or such a companion for her mother,--how gratefully was it felt!--a companion whose judgment would guide, whose attendance must relieve, and whose friendship might soothe her!--as far as the shock of such a summons _could_ be lessened to her, his presence, his manners, his assistance, would lessen it. _he_, meanwhile, whatever he might feel, acted with all the firmness of a collected mind, made every necessary arrangement with the utmost despatch, and calculated with exactness the time in which she might look for his return. not a moment was lost in delay of any kind. the horses arrived, even before they were expected, and colonel brandon only pressing her hand with a look of solemnity, and a few words spoken too low to reach her ear, hurried into the carriage. it was then about twelve o'clock, and she returned to her sister's apartment to wait for the arrival of the apothecary, and to watch by her the rest of the night. it was a night of almost equal suffering to both. hour after hour passed away in sleepless pain and delirium on marianne's side, and in the most cruel anxiety on elinor's, before mr. harris appeared. her apprehensions once raised, paid by their excess for all her former security; and the servant who sat up with her, for she would not allow mrs. jennings to be called, only tortured her more, by hints of what her mistress had always thought. marianne's ideas were still, at intervals, fixed incoherently on her mother, and whenever she mentioned her name, it gave a pang to the heart of poor elinor, who, reproaching herself for having trifled with so many days of illness, and wretched for some immediate relief, fancied that all relief might soon be in vain, that every thing had been delayed too long, and pictured to herself her suffering mother arriving too late to see this darling child, or to see her rational. she was on the point of sending again for mr. harris, or if _he_ could not come, for some other advice, when the former--but not till after five o'clock--arrived. his opinion, however, made some little amends for his delay, for though acknowledging a very unexpected and unpleasant alteration in his patient, he would not allow the danger to be material, and talked of the relief which a fresh mode of treatment must procure, with a confidence which, in a lesser degree, was communicated to elinor. he promised to call again in the course of three or four hours, and left both the patient and her anxious attendant more composed than he had found them. with strong concern, and with many reproaches for not being called to their aid, did mrs. jennings hear in the morning of what had passed. her former apprehensions, now with greater reason restored, left her no doubt of the event; and though trying to speak comfort to elinor, her conviction of her sister's danger would not allow her to offer the comfort of hope. her heart was really grieved. the rapid decay, the early death of a girl so young, so lovely as marianne, must have struck a less interested person with concern. on mrs. jennings's compassion she had other claims. she had been for three months her companion, was still under her care, and she was known to have been greatly injured, and long unhappy. the distress of her sister too, particularly a favourite, was before her;--and as for their mother, when mrs. jennings considered that marianne might probably be to _her_ what charlotte was to herself, her sympathy in _her_ sufferings was very sincere. mr. harris was punctual in his second visit; but he came to be disappointed in his hopes of what the last would produce. his medicines had failed; the fever was unabated; and marianne only more quiet--not more herself--remained in a heavy stupor. elinor, catching all, and more than all, his fears in a moment, proposed to call in further advice. but he judged it unnecessary: he had still something more to try, some more fresh application, of whose success he was as confident as the last, and his visit concluded with encouraging assurances which reached the ear, but could not enter the heart of miss dashwood. she was calm, except when she thought of her mother; but she was almost hopeless; and in this state she continued till noon, scarcely stirring from her sister's bed, her thoughts wandering from one image of grief, one suffering friend to another, and her spirits oppressed to the utmost by the conversation of mrs. jennings, who scrupled not to attribute the severity and danger of this attack to the many weeks of previous indisposition which marianne's disappointment had brought on. elinor felt all the reasonableness of the idea, and it gave fresh misery to her reflections. about noon, however, she began--but with a caution--a dread of disappointment which for some time kept her silent, even to her friend--to fancy, to hope she could perceive a slight amendment in her sister's pulse; she waited, watched, and examined it again and again; and at last, with an agitation more difficult to bury under exterior calmness, than all her foregoing distress, ventured to communicate her hopes. mrs. jennings, though forced, on examination, to acknowledge a temporary revival, tried to keep her young friend from indulging a thought of its continuance; and elinor, conning over every injunction of distrust, told herself likewise not to hope. but it was too late. hope had already entered; and feeling all its anxious flutter, she bent over her sister to watch--she hardly knew for what. half an hour passed away, and the favourable symptom yet blessed her. others even arose to confirm it. her breath, her skin, her lips, all flattered elinor with signs of amendment; and marianne fixed her eyes on her with a rational, though languid, gaze. anxiety and hope now oppressed her in equal degrees, and left her no moment of tranquillity till the arrival of mr. harris at four o'clock; when his assurances, his felicitations on a recovery in her sister even surpassing his expectation, gave her confidence, comfort, and tears of joy. marianne was in every respect materially better, and he declared her entirely out of danger. mrs. jennings, perhaps satisfied with the partial justification of her forebodings which had been found in their late alarm, allowed herself to trust in his judgment, and admitted, with unfeigned joy, and soon with unequivocal cheerfulness, the probability of an entire recovery. elinor could not be cheerful. her joy was of a different kind, and led to any thing rather than to gaiety. marianne restored to life, health, friends, and to her doting mother, was an idea to fill her heart with sensations of exquisite comfort, and expand it in fervent gratitude;--but it lead to no outward demonstrations of joy, no words, no smiles. all within elinor's breast was satisfaction, silent and strong. she continued by the side of her sister, with little intermission the whole afternoon, calming every fear, satisfying every inquiry of her enfeebled spirits, supplying every succour, and watching almost every look and every breath. the possibility of a relapse would of course, in some moments, occur to remind her of what anxiety was; but when she saw, on her frequent and minute examination, that every symptom of recovery continued, and saw marianne at six o'clock sink into a quiet, steady, and to all appearance comfortable, sleep, she silenced every doubt. the time was now drawing on, when colonel brandon might be expected back. at ten o'clock, she trusted, or at least not much later her mother would be relieved from the dreadful suspense in which she must now be travelling towards them. the colonel, too!--perhaps scarcely less an object of pity! oh! how slow was the progress of time which yet kept them in ignorance! at seven o'clock, leaving marianne still sweetly asleep, she joined mrs. jennings in the drawing-room to tea. of breakfast she had been kept by her fears, and of dinner by their sudden reverse, from eating much; and the present refreshment, therefore, with such feelings of content as she brought to it, was particularly welcome. mrs. jennings would have persuaded her, at its conclusion, to take some rest before her mother's arrival, and allow _her_ to take her place by marianne; but elinor had no sense of fatigue, no capability of sleep at that moment about her, and she was not to be kept away from her sister an unnecessary instant. mrs. jennings therefore attending her up stairs into the sick chamber, to satisfy herself that all continued right, left her there again to her charge and her thoughts, and retired to her own room to write letters and sleep. the night was cold and stormy. the wind roared round the house, and the rain beat against the windows; but elinor, all happiness within, regarded it not. marianne slept through every blast; and the travellers, they had a rich reward in store, for every present inconvenience. the clock struck eight. had it been ten, elinor would have been convinced that at that moment she heard a carriage driving up to the house; and so strong was the persuasion that she _did_, in spite of the _almost_ impossibility of their being already come, that she moved into the adjoining dressing-closet and opened a window shutter, to be satisfied of the truth. she instantly saw that her ears had not deceived her. the flaring lamps of a carriage were immediately in view. by their uncertain light she thought she could discern it to be drawn by four horses; and this, while it told the excess of her poor mother's alarm, gave some explanation to such unexpected rapidity. never in her life had elinor found it so difficult to be calm, as at that moment. the knowledge of what her mother must be feeling as the carriage stopped the door,--of her doubt--her dread,--perhaps her despair!--and of what _she_ had to tell! with such knowledge it was impossible to be calm. all that remained to be done was to be speedy; and, therefore staying only till she could leave mrs. jennings's maid with her sister, she hurried down stairs. the bustle in the vestibule, as she passed along an inner lobby, assured her that they were already in the house. she rushed to the drawing-room,--she entered it,--and saw only willoughby. [illustration: _opened a window-shutter._] chapter xliv elinor, starting back with a look of horror at the sight of him, obeyed the first impulse of her heart in turning instantly to quit the room, and her hand was already on the lock, when its action was suspended by his hastily advancing, and saying, in a voice rather of command than supplication-"miss dashwood, for half an hour--for ten minutes--i entreat you to stay." "no, sir," she replied with firmness, "i shall _not_ stay. your business cannot be with _me._ the servants, i suppose, forgot to tell you that mr. palmer was not in the house." "had they told me," he cried with vehemence, "that mr. palmer and all his relations were at the devil, it would not have turned me from the door. my business is with you, and only you." "with me!"--in the utmost amazement;--"well, sir--be quick--and if you can--less violent." "sit down, and i will be both." she hesitated; she knew not what to do. the possibility of colonel brandon's arriving and finding her there, came across her. but she had promised to hear him, and her curiosity no less than her honor was engaged. after a moment's recollection, therefore, concluding that prudence required dispatch, and that her acquiescence would best promote it, she walked silently towards the table, and sat down. he took the opposite chair, and for half a minute not a word was said by either. "pray be quick, sir," said elinor, impatiently; "i have no time to spare." he was sitting in an attitude of deep meditation, and seemed not to hear her. "your sister," said he, with abruptness, a moment afterwards--"is out of danger. i heard it from the servant. god be praised!--but is it true? is it really true?" elinor would not speak. he repeated the inquiry with yet greater eagerness. "for god's sake tell me, is she out of danger, or is she not?" [illustration: "_i entreat you to stay._"] "we hope she is." he rose up, and walked across the room. "had i known as much half an hour ago--but since i _am_ here,"--speaking with a forced vivacity as he returned to his seat,--"what does it signify?--for once, miss dashwood--it will be the last time, perhaps--let us be cheerful together. i am in a fine mood for gaiety. tell me honestly,"--a deeper glow overspreading his cheeks, "do you think me most a knave or a fool?" elinor looked at him with greater astonishment than ever. she began to think that he must be in liquor;--the strangeness of such a visit, and of such manners, seemed no otherwise intelligible; and with this impression she immediately rose, saying-"mr. willoughby, i advise you at present to return to combe--i am not at leisure to remain with you longer. whatever your business may be with me, it will be better recollected and explained to-morrow." "i understand you," he replied, with an expressive smile, and a voice perfectly calm; "yes, i am very drunk. a pint of porter with my cold beef at marlborough was enough to over-set me." "at marlborough!"--cried elinor, more and more at a loss to understand what he would be at. "yes,--i left london this morning at eight o'clock, and the only ten minutes i have spent out of my chaise since that time procured me a nuncheon at marlborough." the steadiness of his manner, and the intelligence of his eye as he spoke, convincing elinor, that whatever other unpardonable folly might bring him to cleveland, he was not brought there by intoxication, she said, after a moment's recollection-"mr. willoughby, you _ought_ to feel, and i certainly _do_, that after what has passed--your coming here in this manner, and forcing yourself upon my notice, requires a very particular excuse. what is it, that you mean by it?"-"i mean,"--said he, with serious energy--"if i can, to make you hate me one degree less than you do _now._ i mean to offer some kind of explanation, some kind of apology, for the past; to open my whole heart to you, and by convincing you, that though i have been always a blockhead, i have not been always a rascal, to obtain something like forgiveness from ma----, from your sister." "is this the real reason of your coming?" "upon my soul it is," was his answer, with a warmth which brought all the former willoughby to her remembrance, and in spite of herself made her think him sincere. "if that is all, you may be satisfied already; for marianne _does_, she has _long_ forgiven you." "has she?" he cried, in the same eager tone. "then she has forgiven me before she ought to have done it. but she shall forgive me again, and on more reasonable grounds. _now_ will you listen to me?" elinor bowed her assent. "i do not know," said he, after a pause of expectation on her side, and thoughtfulness on his own, "how _you_ may have accounted for my behaviour to your sister, or what diabolical motive you may have imputed to me. perhaps you will hardly think the better of me,--it is worth the trial however, and you shall hear every thing. when i first became intimate in your family, i had no other intention, no other view in the acquaintance than to pass my time pleasantly while i was obliged to remain in devonshire, more pleasantly than i had ever done before. your sister's lovely person and interesting manners could not but please me; and her behaviour to me almost from the first, was of a kind--it is astonishing, when i reflect on what it was, and what _she_ was, that my heart should have been so insensible! but at first i must confess, my vanity only was elevated by it. careless of her happiness, thinking only of my own amusement, giving way to feelings which i had always been too much in the habit of indulging, i endeavoured, by every means in my power, to make myself pleasing to her, without any design of returning her affection." miss dashwood, at this point, turning her eyes on him with the most angry contempt, stopped him, by saying-"it is hardly worth while, mr. willoughby, for you to relate, or for me to listen any longer. such a beginning as this cannot be followed by any thing. do not let me be pained by hearing any thing more on the subject." "i insist on you hearing the whole of it," he replied, "my fortune was never large, and i had always been expensive, always in the habit of associating with people of better income than myself. every year since my coming of age, or even before, i believe, had added to my debts; and though the death of my old cousin, mrs. smith, was to set me free; yet that event being uncertain, and possibly far distant, it had been for some time my intention to re-establish my circumstances by marrying a woman of fortune. to attach myself to your sister, therefore, was not a thing to be thought of; and with a meanness, selfishness, cruelty, which no indignant, no contemptuous look, even of yours, miss dashwood, can ever reprobate too much,--i was acting in this manner, trying to engage her regard, without a thought of returning it. but one thing may be said for me: even in that horrid state of selfish vanity, i did not know the extent of the injury i meditated, because i did not _then_ know what it was to love. but have i ever known it? well may it be doubted; for, had i really loved, could i have sacrificed my feelings to vanity, to avarice? or, what is more, could i have sacrificed hers? but i have done it. to avoid a comparative poverty, which her affection and her society would have deprived of all its horrors, i have, by raising myself to affluence, lost every thing that could make it a blessing." "you did then," said elinor, a little softened, "believe yourself at one time attached to her?" "to have resisted such attractions, to have withstood such tenderness! is there a man on earth who could have done it? yes, i found myself, by insensible degrees, sincerely fond of her; and the happiest hours of my life were what i spent with her when i felt my intentions were strictly honourable, and my feelings blameless. even _then_, however, when fully determined on paying my addresses to her, i allowed myself most improperly to put off, from day to day, the moment of doing it, from an unwillingness to enter into an engagement while my circumstances were so greatly embarrassed. i will not reason here--nor will i stop for _you_ to expatiate on the absurdity, and the worse than absurdity, of scrupling to engage my faith where my honour was already bound. the event has proved, that i was a cunning fool, providing with great circumspection for a possible opportunity of making myself contemptible and wretched for ever. at last, however, my resolution was taken, and i had determined, as soon as i could engage her alone, to justify the attentions i had so invariably paid her, and openly assure her of an affection which i had already taken such pains to display. but in the interim--in the interim of the very few hours that were to pass, before i could have an opportunity of speaking with her in private--a circumstance occurred--an unlucky circumstance--to ruin all my resolution, and with it all my comfort. a discovery took place,"--here he hesitated and looked down. "mrs. smith had somehow or other been informed, i imagine by some distant relation, whose interest it was to deprive me of her favour, of an affair, a connection--but i need not explain myself farther," he added, looking at her with an heightened colour and an enquiring eye,--"your particular intimacy--you have probably heard the whole story long ago." "i have," returned elinor, colouring likewise, and hardening her heart anew against any compassion for him, "i have heard it all. and how you will explain away any part of your guilt in that dreadful business, i confess is beyond my comprehension." "remember," cried willoughby, "from whom you received the account. could it be an impartial one? i acknowledge that her situation and her character ought to have been respected by me. i do not mean to justify myself, but at the same time cannot leave you to suppose that i have nothing to urge--that because she was injured she was irreproachable, and because _i_ was a libertine, _she_ must be a saint. if the violence of her passions, the weakness of her understanding--i do not mean, however, to defend myself. her affection for me deserved better treatment, and i often, with great self-reproach, recall the tenderness which, for a very short time, had the power of creating any return. i wish--i heartily wish it had never been. but i have injured more than herself; and i have injured one, whose affection for me--(may i say it?) was scarcely less warm than hers; and whose mind--oh! how infinitely superior!" "your indifference, however, towards that unfortunate girl--i must say it, unpleasant to me as the discussion of such a subject may well be--your indifference is no apology for your cruel neglect of her. do not think yourself excused by any weakness, any natural defect of understanding on her side, in the wanton cruelty so evident on yours. you must have known, that while you were enjoying yourself in devonshire pursuing fresh schemes, always gay, always happy, she was reduced to the extremest indigence." "but, upon my soul, i did _not_ know it," he warmly replied; "i did not recollect that i had omitted to give her my direction; and common sense might have told her how to find it out." "well, sir, and what said mrs. smith?" "she taxed me with the offence at once, and my confusion may be guessed. the purity of her life, the formality of her notions, her ignorance of the world,--every thing was against me. the matter itself i could not deny, and vain was every endeavour to soften it. she was previously disposed, i believe, to doubt the morality of my conduct in general, and was moreover discontented with the very little attention, the very little portion of my time that i had bestowed on her, in my present visit. in short, it ended in a total breach. by one measure i might have saved myself. in the height of her morality, good woman! she offered to forgive the past, if i would marry eliza. that could not be; and i was formally dismissed from her favour and her house. the night following this affair--i was to go the next morning--was spent by me in deliberating on what my future conduct should be. the struggle was great, but it ended too soon. my affection for marianne, my thorough conviction of her attachment to me--it was all insufficient to outweigh that dread of poverty, or get the better of those false ideas of the necessity of riches, which i was naturally inclined to feel, and expensive society had increased. i had reason to believe myself secure of my present wife, if i chose to address her, and i persuaded myself to think that nothing else in common prudence remained for me to do. a heavy scene however awaited me, before i could leave devonshire: i was engaged to dine with you on that very day; some apology was therefore necessary for my breaking this engagement. but whether i should write this apology, or deliver it in person, was a point of long debate. to see marianne, i felt, would be dreadful, and i even doubted whether i could see her again, and keep to my resolution. in that point, however, i undervalued my own magnanimity, as the event declared; for i went, i saw her, and saw her miserable, and left her miserable;--and left her hoping never to see her again." "why did you call, mr. willoughby?" said elinor, reproachfully; "a note would have answered every purpose. why was it necessary to call?" [illustration: "_i was formally dismissed._"] "it was necessary to my own pride. i could not bear to leave the country in a manner that might lead you, or the rest of the neighbourhood, to suspect any part of what had really passed between mrs. smith and myself, and i resolved therefore on calling at the cottage, in my way to honiton. the sight of your dear sister, however, was really dreadful; and, to heighten the matter, i found her alone. you were all gone i do not know where. i had left her only the evening before, so fully, so firmly resolved within my self on doing right! a few hours were to have engaged her to me for ever; and i remember how happy, how gay were my spirits, as i walked from the cottage to allenham, satisfied with myself, delighted with every body! but in this, our last interview of friendship, i approached her with a sense of guilt that almost took from me the power of dissembling. her sorrow, her disappointment, her deep regret, when i told her that i was obliged to leave devonshire so immediately--i never shall forget it--united too with such reliance, such confidence in me! oh, god! what a hard-hearted rascal i was!" they were both silent for a few moments. elinor first spoke. "did you tell her that you should soon return?" "i do not know what i told her," he replied, impatiently; "less than was due to the past, beyond a doubt, and in all likelihood much more than was justified by the future. i cannot think of it. it won't do. then came your dear mother to torture me farther, with all her kindness and confidence. thank heaven! it _did_ torture me. i was miserable. miss dashwood, you cannot have an idea of the comfort it gives me to look back on my own misery. i owe such a grudge to myself for the stupid, rascally folly of my own heart, that all my past sufferings under it are only triumph and exultation to me now. well, i went, left all that i loved, and went to those to whom, at best, i was only indifferent. my journey to town--travelling with my own horses, and therefore so tediously--no creature to speak to--my own reflections so cheerful--when i looked forward every thing so inviting!--when i looked back at barton, the picture so soothing!--oh, it was a blessed journey!" he stopped. "well, sir," said elinor, who, though pitying him, grew impatient for his departure, "and this is all?" "ah!--no,--have you forgot what passed in town? that infamous letter? did she show it you?" "yes, i saw every note that passed." "when the first of hers reached me (as it immediately did, for i was in town the whole time,) what i felt is, in the common phrase, not to be expressed; in a more simple one--perhaps too simple to raise any emotion, my feelings were very, very painful. every line, every word was--in the hackneyed metaphor which their dear writer, were she here, would forbid--a dagger to my heart. to know that marianne was in town was, in the same language, a thunderbolt. thunderbolts and daggers! what a reproof would she have given me! her taste, her opinions--i believe they are better known to me than my own, and i am sure they are dearer." elinor's heart, which had undergone many changes in the course of this extraordinary conversation, was now softened again;--yet she felt it her duty to check such ideas in her companion as the last. "this is not right, mr. willoughby. remember that you are married. relate only what in your conscience you think necessary for me to hear." "marianne's note, by assuring me that i was still as dear to her as in former days, that in spite of the many, many weeks we had been separated, she was as constant in her own feelings, and as full of faith in the constancy of mine as ever, awakened all my remorse. i say awakened, because time and london, business and dissipation, had in some measure quieted it, and i had been growing a fine hardened villain, fancying myself indifferent to her, and choosing to fancy that she too must have become indifferent to me; talking to myself of our past attachment as a mere idle, trifling business, shrugging up my shoulders in proof of its being so, and silencing every reproach, overcoming every scruple, by secretly saying now and then, 'i shall be heartily glad to hear she is well married.' but this note made me know myself better. i felt that she was infinitely dearer to me than any other woman in the world, and that i was using her infamously. but every thing was then just settled between miss grey and me. to retreat was impossible. all that i had to do, was to avoid you both. i sent no answer to marianne, intending by that to preserve myself from her farther notice; and for some time i was even determined not to call in berkeley street; but at last, judging it wiser to affect the air of a cool, common acquaintance than anything else, i watched you all safely out of the house one morning, and left my name." "watched us out of the house!" "even so. you would be surprised to hear how often i watched you, how often i was on the point of falling in with you. i have entered many a shop to avoid your sight, as the carriage drove by. lodging as i did in bond street, there was hardly a day in which i did not catch a glimpse of one or other of you; and nothing but the most constant watchfulness on my side, a most invariably prevailing desire to keep out of your sight, could have separated us so long. i avoided the middletons as much as possible, as well as everybody else who was likely to prove an acquaintance in common. not aware of their being in town, however, i blundered on sir john, i believe, the first day of his coming, and the day after i had called at mrs. jennings's. he asked me to a party, a dance at his house in the evening. had he _not_ told me as an inducement that you and your sister were to be there, i should have felt it too certain a thing, to trust myself near him. the next morning brought another short note from marianne--still affectionate, open, artless, confiding--everything that could make _my_ conduct most hateful. i could not answer it. i tried--but could not frame a sentence. but i thought of her, i believe, every moment of the day. if you _can_ pity me, miss dashwood, pity my situation as it was _then._ with my head and heart full of your sister, i was forced to play the happy lover to another woman! those three or four weeks were worse than all. well, at last, as i need not tell you, you were forced on me; and what a sweet figure i cut! what an evening of agony it was! marianne, beautiful as an angel on one side, calling me willoughby in such a tone! oh, god! holding out her hand to me, asking me for an explanation, with those bewitching eyes fixed in such speaking solicitude on my face! and sophia, jealous as the devil on the other hand, looking all that was--well, it does not signify; it is over now. such an evening! i ran away from you all as soon as i could; but not before i had seen marianne's sweet face as white as death. _that_ was the last, last look i ever had of her; the last manner in which she appeared to me. it was a horrid sight! yet when i thought of her to-day as really dying, it was a kind of comfort to me to imagine that i knew exactly how she would appear to those, who saw her last in this world. she was before me, constantly before me, as i travelled, in the same look and hue." [illustration: "_i have entered many a shop to avoid your sight._"] a short pause of mutual thoughtfulness succeeded. willoughby first rousing himself, broke it thus: "well, let me make haste and be gone. your sister is certainly better, certainly out of danger?" "we are assured of it." "your poor mother, too!--doting on marianne." "but the letter, mr. willoughby, your own letter; have you any thing to say about that?" "yes, yes, _that_ in particular. your sister wrote to me again, you know, the very next morning. you saw what she said. i was breakfasting at the ellisons,--and her letter, with some others, was brought to me there from my lodgings. it happened to catch sophia's eye before it caught mine;--and its size, the elegance of the paper, the hand-writing altogether, immediately gave her a suspicion. some vague report had reached her before of my attachment to some young lady in devonshire, and what had passed within her observation the preceding evening had marked who the young lady was, and made her more jealous than ever. affecting that air of playfulness, therefore, which is delightful in a woman one loves, she opened the letter directly, and read its contents. she was well paid for her impudence. she read what made her wretched. her wretchedness i could have borne, but her passion--her malice--at all events it must be appeased. and, in short, what do you think of my wife's style of letter-writing?--delicate--tender--truly feminine--was it not?" "your wife! the letter was in your own hand-writing." "yes, but i had only the credit of servilely copying such sentences as i was ashamed to put my name to. the original was all her own--her own happy thoughts and gentle diction. but what could i do! we were engaged, every thing in preparation, the day almost fixed--but i am talking like a fool. preparation! day! in honest words, her money was necessary to me, and in a situation like mine, any thing was to be done to prevent a rupture. and after all, what did it signify to my character in the opinion of marianne and her friends, in what language my answer was couched? it must have been only to one end. my business was to declare myself a scoundrel, and whether i did it with a bow or a bluster was of little importance. 'i am ruined for ever in their opinion,' said i to myself; 'i am shut out for ever from their society, they already think me an unprincipled fellow, this letter will only make them think me a blackguard one.' such were my reasonings, as, in a sort of desperate carelessness, i copied my wife's words, and parted with the last relics of marianne. her three notes--unluckily they were all in my pocket-book, or i should have denied their existence, and hoarded them for ever--i was forced to put them up, and could not even kiss them. and the lock of hair--that too i had always carried about me in the same pocket-book, which was now searched by madam with the most ingratiating virulence,--the dear lock--all, every memento was torn from me." "you are very wrong, mr. willoughby, very blamable," said elinor, while her voice, in spite of herself, betrayed her compassionate emotion; "you ought not to speak in this way, either of mrs. willoughby or my sister. you had made your own choice. it was not forced on you. your wife has a claim to your politeness, to your respect, at least. she must be attached to you, or she would not have married you. to treat her with unkindness, to speak of her slightingly is no atonement to marianne--nor can i suppose it a relief to your own conscience." "do not talk to me of my wife," said he with a heavy sigh. "she does not deserve your compassion. she knew i had no regard for her when we married. well, married we were, and came down to combe magna to be happy, and afterwards returned to town to be gay. and now do you pity me, miss dashwood? or have i said all this to no purpose? am i,--be it only one degree,--am i less guilty in your opinion than i was before? my intentions were not always wrong. have i explained away any part of my guilt?" "yes, you have certainly removed something--a little. you have proved yourself, on the whole, less faulty than i had believed you. you have proved your heart less wicked, much less wicked. but i hardly know--the misery that you have inflicted--i hardly know what could have made it worse." "will you repeat to your sister when she is recovered, what i have been telling you?--let me be a little lightened too in her opinion as well as in yours. you tell me that she has forgiven me already. let me be able to fancy that a better knowledge of my heart, and of my present feelings, will draw from her a more spontaneous, more natural, more gentle, less dignified, forgiveness. tell her of my misery and my penitence--tell her that my heart was never inconstant to her, and if you will, that at this moment she is dearer to me than ever." "i will tell her all that is necessary to what may comparatively be called, your justification. but you have not explained to me the particular reason of your coming now, nor how you heard of her illness." "last night, in drury lane lobby, i ran against sir john middleton, and when he saw who i was, for the first time these two months--he spoke to me. that he had cut me ever since my marriage, i had seen without surprise or resentment. now, however, his good-natured, honest, stupid soul, full of indignation against me, and concern for your sister, could not resist the temptation of telling me what he knew ought to, though probably he did not think it _would_, vex me horridly. as bluntly as he could speak it, therefore, he told me that marianne dashwood was dying of a putrid fever at cleveland--a letter that morning received from mrs. jennings declared her danger most imminent--the palmers are all gone off in a fright, &c. i was too much shocked to be able to pass myself off as insensible even to the undiscerning sir john. his heart was softened in seeing mine suffer; and so much of his ill-will was done away, that when we parted, he almost shook me by the hand while he reminded me of an old promise about a pointer puppy. what i felt on hearing that your sister was dying, and dying too, believing me the greatest villain upon earth, scorning, hating me in her latest moments--for how could i tell what horrid projects might not have been imputed? _one_ person i was sure would represent me as capable of any thing. what i felt was dreadful! my resolution was soon made, and at eight o'clock this morning i was in my carriage. now you know all." elinor made no answer. her thoughts were silently fixed on the irreparable injury which too early an independence and its consequent habits of idleness, dissipation, and luxury, had made in the mind, the character, the happiness, of a man who, to every advantage of person and talents, united a disposition naturally open and honest, and a feeling, affectionate temper. the world had made him extravagant and vain--extravagance and vanity had made him cold-hearted and selfish. vanity, while seeking its own guilty triumph at the expense of another, had involved him in a real attachment, which extravagance, or at least its offspring, necessity, had required to be sacrificed. each faulty propensity in leading him to evil, had led him likewise to punishment. the attachment, from which against honour, against feeling, against every better interest he had outwardly torn himself, now, when no longer allowable, governed every thought; and the connection, for the sake of which he had, with little scruple, left her sister to misery, was likely to prove a source of unhappiness to himself of a far more incurable nature. from a reverie of this kind she was recalled at the end of some minutes by willoughby, who, rousing himself from a reverie at least equally painful, started up in preparation for going, and said-"there is no use in staying here; i must be off." "are you going back to town?" "no--to combe magna. i have business there; from thence to town in a day or two. good bye." he held out his hand. she could not refuse to give him hers;--he pressed it with affection. "and you _do_ think something better of me than you did?"--said he, letting it fall, and leaning against the mantelpiece as if forgetting he was to go. elinor assured him that she did;--that she forgave, pitied, wished him well--was even interested in his happiness--and added some gentle counsel as to the behaviour most likely to promote it. his answer was not very encouraging. "as to that," said he, "i must rub through the world as well as i can. domestic happiness is out of the question. if, however, i am allowed to think that you and yours feel an interest in my fate and actions, it may be the means--it may put me on my guard--at least, it may be something to live for. marianne to be sure is lost to me for ever. were i even by any blessed chance at liberty again--" elinor stopped him with a reproof. "well,"--he replied--"once more good bye. i shall now go away and live in dread of one event." "what do you mean?" "your sister's marriage." "you are very wrong. she can never be more lost to you than she is now." "but she will be gained by some one else. and if that some one should be the very he whom, of all others, i could least bear--but i will not stay to rob myself of all your compassionate good-will, by showing that where i have most injured i can least forgive. good bye,--god bless you!" and with these words, he almost ran out of the room. chapter xlv elinor, for some time after he left her, for some time even after the sound of his carriage had died away, remained too much oppressed by a crowd of ideas, widely differing in themselves, but of which sadness was the general result, to think even of her sister. willoughby, he, whom only half an hour ago she had abhorred as the most worthless of men, willoughby, in spite of all his faults, excited a degree of commiseration for the sufferings produced by them, which made her think of him as now separated for ever from her family, with a tenderness, a regret, rather in proportion, as she soon acknowledged within herself--to his wishes than to his merits. she felt that his influence over her mind was heightened by circumstances which ought not in reason to have weight; by that person of uncommon attraction, that open, affectionate, and lively manner which it was no merit to possess; and by that still ardent love for marianne, which it was not even innocent to indulge. but she felt that it was so, long, long before she could feel his influence less. when at last she returned to the unconscious marianne, she found her just awaking, refreshed by so long and sweet a sleep to the extent of her hopes. elinor's heart was full. the past, the present, the future, willoughby's visit, marianne's safety, and her mother's expected arrival, threw her altogether into an agitation of spirits which kept off every indication of fatigue, and made her only fearful of betraying herself to her sister. short was the time, however, in which that fear could affect her, for within half an hour after willoughby's leaving the house, she was again called down stairs by the sound of another carriage. eager to save her mother from every unnecessary moment's horrible suspense, she ran immediately into the hall, and reached the outward door just in time to receive and support her as she entered it. mrs. dashwood, whose terror as they drew near the house had produced almost the conviction of marianne's being no more, had no voice to inquire after her, no voice even for elinor; but _she_, waiting neither for salutation nor inquiry, instantly gave the joyful relief; and her mother, catching it with all her usual warmth, was in a moment as much overcome by her happiness, as she had been before by her fears. she was supported into the drawing-room between her daughter and her friend; and there, shedding tears of joy, though still unable to speak, embraced elinor again and again, turning from her at intervals to press colonel brandon's hand, with a look which spoke at once her gratitude, and her conviction of his sharing with herself in the bliss of the moment. he shared it, however, in a silence even greater than her own. as soon as mrs. dashwood had recovered herself, to see marianne was her first desire; and in two minutes she was with her beloved child, rendered dearer to her than ever by absence, unhappiness, and danger. elinor's delight, as she saw what each felt in the meeting, was only checked by an apprehension of its robbing marianne of farther sleep;--but mrs. dashwood could be calm, could be even prudent, when the life of a child was at stake, and marianne, satisfied in knowing her mother was near her, and conscious of being too weak for conversation, submitted readily to the silence and quiet prescribed by every nurse around her. mrs. dashwood _would_ sit up with her all night; and elinor, in compliance with her mother's entreaty, went to bed. but the rest, which one night entirely sleepless, and many hours of the most wearing anxiety seemed to make requisite, was kept off by irritation of spirits. willoughby, "poor willoughby," as she now allowed herself to call him, was constantly in her thoughts; she would not but have heard his vindication for the world, and now blamed, now acquitted herself for having judged him so harshly before. but her promise of relating it to her sister was invariably painful. she dreaded the performance of it, dreaded what its effect on marianne might be; doubted whether after such an explanation she could ever be happy with another; and for a moment wished willoughby a widower. then, remembering colonel brandon, reproved herself, felt that to _his_ sufferings and _his_ constancy far more than to his rival's, the reward of her sister was due, and wished any thing rather than mrs. willoughby's death. the shock of colonel brandon's errand at barton had been much softened to mrs. dashwood by her own previous alarm; for so great was her uneasiness about marianne, that she had already determined to set out for cleveland on that very day, without waiting for any further intelligence, and had so far settled her journey before his arrival, that the careys were then expected every moment to fetch margaret away, as her mother was unwilling to take her where there might be infection. marianne continued to mend every day, and the brilliant cheerfulness of mrs. dashwood's looks and spirits proved her to be, as she repeatedly declared herself, one of the happiest women in the world. elinor could not hear the declaration, nor witness its proofs without sometimes wondering whether her mother ever recollected edward. but mrs. dashwood, trusting to the temperate account of her own disappointment which elinor had sent her, was led away by the exuberance of her joy to think only of what would increase it. marianne was restored to her from a danger in which, as she now began to feel, her own mistaken judgment in encouraging the unfortunate attachment to willoughby, had contributed to place her; and in her recovery she had yet another source of joy unthought of by elinor. it was thus imparted to her, as soon as any opportunity of private conference between them occurred. "at last we are alone. my elinor, you do not yet know all my happiness. colonel brandon loves marianne. he has told me so himself." her daughter, feeling by turns both pleased and pained, surprised and not surprised, was all silent attention. "you are never like me, dear elinor, or i should wonder at your composure now. had i sat down to wish for any possible good to my family, i should have fixed on colonel brandon's marrying one of you as the object most desirable. and i believe marianne will be the most happy with him of the two." elinor was half inclined to ask her reason for thinking so, because satisfied that none founded on an impartial consideration of their age, characters, or feelings, could be given;--but her mother must always be carried away by her imagination on any interesting subject, and therefore instead of an inquiry, she passed it off with a smile. "he opened his whole heart to me yesterday as we travelled. it came out quite unawares, quite undesignedly. i, you may well believe, could talk of nothing but my child;--he could not conceal his distress; i saw that it equalled my own, and he perhaps, thinking that mere friendship, as the world now goes, would not justify so warm a sympathy--or rather, not thinking at all, i suppose--giving way to irresistible feelings, made me acquainted with his earnest, tender, constant, affection for marianne. he has loved her, my elinor, ever since the first moment of seeing her." here, however, elinor perceived,--not the language, not the professions of colonel brandon, but the natural embellishments of her mother's active fancy, which fashioned every thing delightful to her as it chose. "his regard for her, infinitely surpassing anything that willoughby ever felt or feigned, as much more warm, as more sincere or constant, which ever we are to call it, has subsisted through all the knowledge of dear marianne's unhappy prepossession for that worthless young man! and without selfishness, without encouraging a hope! could he have seen her happy with another. such a noble mind! such openness, such sincerity! no one can be deceived in _him._" "colonel brandon's character," said elinor, "as an excellent man, is well established." "i know it is," replied her mother seriously, "or after such a warning, i should be the last to encourage such affection, or even to be pleased by it. but his coming for me as he did, with such active, such ready friendship, is enough to prove him one of the worthiest of men." "his character, however," answered elinor, "does not rest on _one_ act of kindness, to which his affection for marianne, were humanity out of the case, would have prompted him. to mrs. jennings, to the middletons, he has been long and intimately known; they equally love and respect him; and even my own knowledge of him, though lately acquired, is very considerable; and so highly do i value and esteem him, that if marianne can be happy with him, i shall be as ready as yourself to think our connection the greatest blessing to us in the world. what answer did you give him? did you allow him to hope?" "oh! my love, i could not then talk of hope to him or to myself. marianne might at that moment be dying. but he did not ask for hope or encouragement. his was an involuntary confidence, an irrepressible effusion to a soothing friend, not an application to a parent. yet after a time i _did_ say, for at first i was quite overcome, that if she lived, as i trusted she might, my greatest happiness would lie in promoting their marriage; and since our arrival, since our delightful security, i have repeated it to him more fully, have given him every encouragement in my power. time, a very little time, i tell him, will do everything; marianne's heart is not to be wasted for ever on such a man as willoughby. his own merits must soon secure it." "to judge from the colonel's spirits, however, you have not yet made him equally sanguine." "no. he thinks marianne's affection too deeply rooted for any change in it under a great length of time, and even supposing her heart again free, is too diffident of himself to believe, that with such a difference of age and disposition he could ever attach her. there, however, he is quite mistaken. his age is only so much beyond hers as to be an advantage, as to make his character and principles fixed;--and his disposition, i am well convinced, is exactly the very one to make your sister happy. and his person, his manners too, are all in his favour. my partiality does not blind me; he certainly is not so handsome as willoughby--but at the same time, there is something much more pleasing in his countenance. there was always a something,--if you remember,--in willoughby's eyes at times, which i did not like." elinor could _not_ remember it;--but her mother, without waiting for her assent, continued-"and his manners, the colonel's manners are not only more pleasing to me than willoughby's ever were, but they are of a kind i well know to be more solidly attaching to marianne. their gentleness, their genuine attention to other people, and their manly unstudied simplicity is much more accordant with her real disposition, than the liveliness--often artificial, and often ill-timed of the other. i am very sure myself, that had willoughby turned out as really amiable, as he has proved himself the contrary, marianne would yet never have been so happy with _him_ as she will be with colonel brandon." she paused. her daughter could not quite agree with her, but her dissent was not heard, and therefore gave no offence. "at delaford, she will be within an easy distance of me," added mrs. dashwood, "even if i remain at barton; and in all probability,--for i hear it is a large village,--indeed there certainly _must_ be some small house or cottage close by, that would suit us quite as well as our present situation." poor elinor!--here was a new scheme for getting her to delaford!--but her spirit was stubborn. "his fortune too!--for at my time of life you know, everybody cares about _that_;--and though i neither know nor desire to know, what it really is, i am sure it must be a good one." here they were interrupted by the entrance of a third person, and elinor withdrew to think it all over in private, to wish success to her friend, and yet in wishing it, to feel a pang for willoughby. chapter xlvi marianne's illness, though weakening in its kind, had not been long enough to make her recovery slow; and with youth, natural strength, and her mother's presence in aid, it proceeded so smoothly as to enable her to remove, within four days after the arrival of the latter, into mrs. palmer's dressing-room. when there, at her own particular request, for she was impatient to pour forth her thanks to him for fetching her mother, colonel brandon was invited to visit her. his emotion on entering the room, in seeing her altered looks, and in receiving the pale hand which she immediately held out to him, was such, as, in elinor's conjecture, must arise from something more than his affection for marianne, or the consciousness of its being known to others; and she soon discovered in his melancholy eye and varying complexion as he looked at her sister, the probable recurrence of many past scenes of misery to his mind, brought back by that resemblance between marianne and eliza already acknowledged, and now strengthened by the hollow eye, the sickly skin, the posture of reclining weakness, and the warm acknowledgment of peculiar obligation. mrs. dashwood, not less watchful of what passed than her daughter, but with a mind very differently influenced, and therefore watching to very different effect, saw nothing in the colonel's behaviour but what arose from the most simple and self-evident sensations, while in the actions and words of marianne she persuaded herself to think that something more than gratitude already dawned. at the end of another day or two, marianne growing visibly stronger every twelve hours, mrs. dashwood, urged equally by her own and her daughter's wishes, began to talk of removing to barton. on _her_ measures depended those of her two friends; mrs. jennings could not quit cleveland during the dashwoods' stay; and colonel brandon was soon brought, by their united request, to consider his own abode there as equally determinate, if not equally indispensable. at his and mrs. jennings's united request in return, mrs. dashwood was prevailed on to accept the use of his carriage on her journey back, for the better accommodation of her sick child; and the colonel, at the joint invitation of mrs. dashwood and mrs. jennings, whose active good-nature made her friendly and hospitable for other people as well as herself, engaged with pleasure to redeem it by a visit at the cottage, in the course of a few weeks. the day of separation and departure arrived; and marianne, after taking so particular and lengthened a leave of mrs. jennings, one so earnestly grateful, so full of respect and kind wishes as seemed due to her own heart from a secret acknowledgment of past inattention, and bidding colonel brandon farewell with a cordiality of a friend, was carefully assisted by him into the carriage, of which he seemed anxious that she should engross at least half. mrs. dashwood and elinor then followed, and the others were left by themselves, to talk of the travellers, and feel their own dullness, till mrs. jennings was summoned to her chaise to take comfort in the gossip of her maid for the loss of her two young companions; and colonel brandon immediately afterwards took his solitary way to delaford. the dashwoods were two days on the road, and marianne bore her journey on both, without essential fatigue. every thing that the most zealous affection, the most solicitous care could do to render her comfortable, was the office of each watchful companion, and each found their reward in her bodily ease, and her calmness of spirits. to elinor, the observation of the latter was particularly grateful. she, who had seen her week after week so constantly suffering, oppressed by anguish of heart which she had neither courage to speak of, nor fortitude to conceal, now saw with a joy, which no other could equally share, an apparent composure of mind, which, in being the result as she trusted of serious reflection, must eventually lead her to contentment and cheerfulness. as they approached barton, indeed, and entered on scenes of which every field and every tree brought some peculiar, some painful recollection, she grew silent and thoughtful, and turning away her face from their notice, sat earnestly gazing through the window. but here, elinor could neither wonder nor blame; and when she saw, as she assisted marianne from the carriage, that she had been crying, she saw only an emotion too natural in itself to raise any thing less tender than pity, and in its unobtrusiveness entitled to praise. in the whole of her subsequent manner, she traced the direction of a mind awakened to reasonable exertion; for no sooner had they entered their common sitting-room, than marianne turned her eyes around it with a look of resolute firmness, as if determined at once to accustom herself to the sight of every object with which the remembrance of willoughby could be connected. she said little, but every sentence aimed at cheerfulness, and though a sigh sometimes escaped her, it never passed away without the atonement of a smile. after dinner she would try her piano-forte. she went to it; but the music on which her eye first rested was an opera, procured for her by willoughby, containing some of their favourite duets, and bearing on its outward leaf her own name in his hand-writing. that would not do. she shook her head, put the music aside, and after running over the keys for a minute, complained of feebleness in her fingers, and closed the instrument again; declaring however with firmness as she did so, that she should in future practice much. the next morning produced no abatement in these happy symptoms. on the contrary, with a mind and body alike strengthened by rest, she looked and spoke with more genuine spirit, anticipating the pleasure of margaret's return, and talking of the dear family party which would then be restored, of their mutual pursuits and cheerful society, as the only happiness worth a wish. "when the weather is settled, and i have recovered my strength," said she, "we will take long walks together every day. we will walk to the farm at the edge of the down, and see how the children go on; we will walk to sir john's new plantations at barton cross, and the abbeyland; and we will often go the old ruins of the priory, and try to trace its foundations as far as we are told they once reached. i know we shall be happy. i know the summer will pass happily away. i mean never to be later in rising than six, and from that time till dinner i shall divide every moment between music and reading. i have formed my plan, and am determined to enter on a course of serious study. our own library is too well known to me, to be resorted to for any thing beyond mere amusement. but there are many works well worth reading at the park; and there are others of more modern production which i know i can borrow of colonel brandon. by reading only six hours a-day, i shall gain in the course of a twelvemonth a great deal of instruction which i now feel myself to want." elinor honoured her for a plan which originated so nobly as this; though smiling to see the same eager fancy which had been leading her to the extreme of languid indolence and selfish repining, now at work in introducing excess into a scheme of such rational employment and virtuous self-control. her smile however changed to a sigh when she remembered that promise to willoughby was yet unfulfilled, and feared she had that to communicate which might again unsettle the mind of marianne, and ruin at least for a time this fair prospect of busy tranquillity. willing therefore to delay the evil hour, she resolved to wait till her sister's health were more secure, before she appointed it. but the resolution was made only to be broken. [illustration: "_and see how the children go on._"] marianne had been two or three days at home, before the weather was fine enough for an invalid like herself to venture out. but at last a soft, genial morning appeared; such as might tempt the daughter's wishes and the mother's confidence; and marianne, leaning on elinor's arm, was authorised to walk as long as she could without fatigue, in the lane before the house. the sisters set out at a pace, slow as the feebleness of marianne in an exercise hitherto untried since her illness required;--and they had advanced only so far beyond the house as to admit a full view of the hill, the important hill behind, when pausing with her eyes turned towards it, marianne calmly said-"there, exactly there,"--pointing with one hand, "on that projecting mound,--there i fell; and there i first saw willoughby." her voice sunk with the word, but presently reviving she added, "i am thankful to find that i can look with so little pain on the spot! shall we ever talk on that subject, elinor?" hesitatingly it was said. "or will it be wrong? i can talk of it now, i hope, as i ought to do." elinor tenderly invited her to be open. "as for regret," said marianne, "i have done with that, as far as _he_ is concerned. i do not mean to talk to you of what my feelings have been for him, but what they are _now._ at present, if i could be satisfied on one point, if i could be allowed to think that he was not _always_ acting a part, not _always_ deceiving me; but above all, if i could be assured that he never was so _very_ wicked as my fears have sometimes fancied him, since the story of that unfortunate girl--" she stopped. elinor joyfully treasured her words as she answered-"if you could be assured of that, you think you should be easy." "yes. my peace of mind is doubly involved in it; for not only is it horrible to suspect a person, who has been what _he_ has been to _me_, of such designs, but what must it make me appear to myself? what in a situation like mine, but a most shamefully unguarded affection could expose me to--" "how then," asked her sister, "would you account for his behaviour?" "i would suppose him--oh, how gladly would i suppose him!--only fickle, very, very fickle." elinor said no more. she was debating within herself on the eligibility of beginning her story directly, or postponing it till marianne were in stronger health; and they crept on for a few minutes in silence. "i am not wishing him too much good," said marianne at last with a sigh, "when i wish his secret reflections may be no more unpleasant than my own. he will suffer enough in them." "do you compare your conduct with his?" "no. i compare it with what it ought to have been; i compare it with yours." "our situations have borne little resemblance." "they have borne more than our conduct. do not, my dearest elinor, let your kindness defend what i know your judgment must censure. my illness has made me think. it has given me leisure and calmness for serious recollection. long before i was enough recovered to talk, i was perfectly able to reflect. i considered the past: i saw in my own behaviour, since the beginning of our acquaintance with him last autumn, nothing but a series of imprudence towards myself, and want of kindness to others. i saw that my own feelings had prepared my sufferings, and that my want of fortitude under them had almost led me to the grave. my illness, i well knew, had been entirely brought on by myself by such negligence of my own health, as i had felt even at the time to be wrong. had i died, it would have been self-destruction. i did not know my danger till the danger was removed; but with such feelings as these reflections gave me, i wonder at my recovery,--wonder that the very eagerness of my desire to live, to have time for atonement to my god, and to you all, did not kill me at once. had i died, in what peculiar misery should i have left you, my nurse, my friend, my sister! you, who had seen all the fretful selfishness of my latter days; who had known all the murmurings of my heart! how should i have lived in _your_ remembrance! my mother too! how could you have consoled her! i cannot express my own abhorrence of myself. whenever i looked towards the past, i saw some duty neglected, or some failing indulged. every body seemed injured by me. the kindness, the unceasing kindness of mrs. jennings, i had repaid with ungrateful contempt. to the middletons, to the palmers, the steeles, to every common acquaintance even, i had been insolent and unjust; with a heart hardened against their merits, and a temper irritated by their very attention. to john, to fanny, yes, even to them, little as they deserve, i had given less than their due. but you, you above all, above my mother, had been wronged by me. i, and only i, knew your heart and its sorrows; yet to what did it influence me?--not to any compassion that could benefit you or myself. your example was before me; but to what avail? was i more considerate of you and your comfort? did i imitate your forbearance, or lessen your restraints, by taking any part in those offices of general complaisance or particular gratitude which you had hitherto been left to discharge alone? no; not less when i knew you to be unhappy, than when i had believed you at ease, did i turn away from every exertion of duty or friendship; scarcely allowing sorrow to exist but with me, regretting only _that_ heart which had deserted and wronged me, and leaving you, for i professed an unbounded affection, to be miserable for my sake." here ceased the rapid flow of her self-reproving spirit; and elinor, impatient to soothe, though too honest to flatter, gave her instantly that praise and support which her frankness and her contrition so well deserved. marianne pressed her hand and replied-"you are very good. the future must be my proof. i have laid down my plan, and if i am capable of adhering to it--my feelings shall be governed and my temper improved. they shall no longer worry others, nor torture myself. i shall now live solely for my family. you, my mother, and margaret, must henceforth be all the world to me; you will share my affections entirely between you. from you, from my home, i shall never again have the smallest incitement to move; and if i do mix in other society, it will be only to show that my spirit is humbled, my heart amended, and that i can practise the civilities, the lesser duties of life, with gentleness and forbearance. as for willoughby--to say that i shall soon or that i shall ever forget him, would be idle. his remembrance can be overcome by no change of circumstances or opinions. but it shall be regulated, it shall be checked by religion, by reason, by constant employment." she paused--and added in a low voice, "if i could but know _his_ heart, everything would become easy." elinor, who had now been for some time reflecting on the propriety or impropriety of speedily hazarding her narration, without feeling at all nearer decision than at first, heard this; and perceiving that as reflection did nothing, resolution must do all, soon found herself leading to the fact. she managed the recital, as she hoped, with address; prepared her anxious listener with caution; related simply and honestly the chief points on which willoughby grounded his apology; did justice to his repentance, and softened only his protestations of present regard. marianne said not a word. she trembled, her eyes were fixed on the ground, and her lips became whiter than even sickness had left them. a thousand inquiries sprung up from her heart, but she dared not urge one. she caught every syllable with panting eagerness; her hand, unknowingly to herself, closely pressed her sister's, and tears covered her cheeks. elinor, dreading her being tired, led her towards home; and till they reached the door of the cottage, easily conjecturing what her curiosity must be though no question was suffered to speak it, talked of nothing but willoughby, and their conversation together; and was carefully minute in every particular of speech and look, where minuteness could be safely indulged. as soon as they entered the house, marianne with a kiss of gratitude and these two words just articulate through her tears, "tell mama," withdrew from her sister and walked slowly up stairs. elinor would not attempt to disturb a solitude so reasonable as what she now sought; and with a mind anxiously pre-arranging its result, and a resolution of reviving the subject again, should marianne fail to do it, she turned into the parlour to fulfill her parting injunction. chapter xlvii mrs. dashwood did not hear unmoved the vindication of her former favourite. she rejoiced in his being cleared from some part of his imputed guilt;--she was sorry for him;--she wished him happy. but the feelings of the past could not be recalled. nothing could restore him with a faith unbroken--a character unblemished, to marianne. nothing could do away the knowledge of what the latter had suffered through his means, nor remove the guilt of his conduct towards eliza. nothing could replace him, therefore, in her former esteem, nor injure the interests of colonel brandon. had mrs. dashwood, like her daughter, heard willoughby's story from himself,--had she witnessed his distress, and been under the influence of his countenance and his manner, it is probable that her compassion would have been greater. but it was neither in elinor's power, nor in her wish, to rouse such feelings in another, by her retailed explanation, as had at first been called forth in herself. reflection had given calmness to her judgment, and sobered her own opinion of willoughby's deserts; she wished, therefore, to declare only the simple truth, and lay open such facts as were really due to his character, without any embellishment of tenderness to lead the fancy astray. in the evening, when they were all three together, marianne began voluntarily to speak of him again; but that it was not without an effort, the restless, unquiet thoughtfulness in which she had been for some time previously sitting, her rising colour, as she spoke, and her unsteady voice, plainly showed. "i wish to assure you both," said she, "that i see every thing--as you can desire me to do." mrs. dashwood would have interrupted her instantly with soothing tenderness, had not elinor, who really wished to hear her sister's unbiased opinion, by an eager sign, engaged her silence. marianne slowly continued-"it is a great relief to me--what elinor told me this morning--i have now heard exactly what i wished to hear."--for some moments her voice was lost; but recovering herself, she added, and with greater calmness than before--"i am now perfectly satisfied, i wish for no change. i never could have been happy with him, after knowing, as sooner or later i must have known, all this. i should have had no confidence, no esteem. nothing could have done it away to my feelings." "i know it--i know it," cried her mother. "happy with a man of libertine practices!--with one who so injured the peace of the dearest of our friends, and the best of men!--no--my marianne has not a heart to be made happy with such a man!--her conscience, her sensitive conscience, would have felt all that the conscience of her husband ought to have felt." marianne sighed, and repeated, "i wish for no change." "you consider the matter," said elinor, "exactly as a good mind and a sound understanding must consider it; and i dare say you perceive, as well as myself, not only in this, but in many other circumstances, reason enough to be convinced that your marriage must have involved you in many certain troubles and disappointments, in which you would have been poorly supported by an affection, on his side, much less certain. had you married, you must have been always poor. his expensiveness is acknowledged even by himself, and his whole conduct declares that self-denial is a word hardly understood by him. his demands and your inexperience together, on a small, very small income, must have brought on distresses which would not be the _less_ grievous to you, from having been entirely unknown and unthought of before. _your_ sense of honour and honesty would have led you, i know, when aware of your situation, to attempt all the economy that would appear to you possible: and, perhaps, as long as your frugality retrenched only on your own comfort, you might have been suffered to practice it, but beyond that--and how little could the utmost of your single management do to stop the ruin which had begun before your marriage? beyond _that_, had you endeavoured, however reasonably, to abridge _his_ enjoyments, is it not to be feared, that instead of prevailing on feelings so selfish to consent to it, you would have lessened your own influence on his heart, and made him regret the connection which had involved him in such difficulties?" marianne's lips quivered, and she repeated the word "selfish?" in a tone that implied, "do you really think him selfish?" "the whole of his behaviour," replied elinor, "from the beginning to the end of the affair, has been grounded on selfishness. it was selfishness which first made him sport with your affections; which afterwards, when his own were engaged, made him delay the confession of it, and which finally carried him from barton. his own enjoyment, or his own ease, was, in every particular, his ruling principle." "it is very true. _my_ happiness never was his object." "at present," continued elinor, "he regrets what he has done. and why does he regret it?--because he finds it has not answered towards himself. it has not made him happy. his circumstances are now unembarrassed--he suffers from no evil of that kind; and he thinks only that he has married a woman of a less amiable temper than yourself. but does it follow that had he married you, he would have been happy?--the inconveniences would have been different. he would then have suffered under the pecuniary distresses which, because they are removed, he now reckons as nothing. he would have had a wife of whose temper he could make no complaint, but he would have been always necessitous--always poor; and probably would soon have learned to rank the innumerable comforts of a clear estate and good income as of far more importance, even to domestic happiness, than the mere temper of a wife." "i have not a doubt of it," said marianne; "and i have nothing to regret--nothing but my own folly." "rather say your mother's imprudence, my child," said mrs. dashwood; "_she_ must be answerable." marianne would not let her proceed;--and elinor, satisfied that each felt their own error, wished to avoid any survey of the past that might weaken her sister's spirits; she, therefore, pursuing the first subject, immediately continued-"one observation may, i think, be fairly drawn from the whole of the story--that all willoughby's difficulties have arisen from the first offence against virtue, in his behaviour to eliza williams. that crime has been the origin of every lesser one, and of all his present discontents." marianne assented most feelingly to the remark; and her mother was led by it to an enumeration of colonel brandon's injuries and merits, warm as friendship and design could unitedly dictate. her daughter did not look, however, as if much of it were heard by her. elinor, according to her expectation, saw on the two or three following days, that marianne did not continue to gain strength as she had done; but while her resolution was unsubdued, and she still tried to appear cheerful and easy, her sister could safely trust to the effect of time upon her health. margaret returned, and the family were again all restored to each other, again quietly settled at the cottage; and if not pursuing their usual studies with quite so much vigour as when they first came to barton, at least planning a vigorous prosecution of them in future. elinor grew impatient for some tidings of edward. she had heard nothing of him since her leaving london, nothing new of his plans, nothing certain even of his present abode. some letters had passed between her and her brother, in consequence of marianne's illness; and in the first of john's, there had been this sentence:--"we know nothing of our unfortunate edward, and can make no enquiries on so prohibited a subject, but conclude him to be still at oxford"; which was all the intelligence of edward afforded her by the correspondence, for his name was not even mentioned in any of the succeeding letters. she was not doomed, however, to be long in ignorance of his measures. their man-servant had been sent one morning to exeter on business; and when, as he waited at table, he had satisfied the inquiries of his mistress as to the event of his errand, this was his voluntary communication-"i suppose you know, ma'am, that mr. ferrars is married." marianne gave a violent start, fixed her eyes upon elinor, saw her turning pale, and fell back in her chair in hysterics. mrs. dashwood, whose eyes, as she answered the servant's inquiry, had intuitively taken the same direction, was shocked to perceive by elinor's countenance how much she really suffered, and a moment afterwards, alike distressed by marianne's situation, knew not on which child to bestow her principal attention. the servant, who saw only that miss marianne was taken ill, had sense enough to call one of the maids, who, with mrs. dashwood's assistance, supported her into the other room. by that time, marianne was rather better, and her mother leaving her to the care of margaret and the maid, returned to elinor, who, though still much disordered, had so far recovered the use of her reason and voice as to be just beginning an inquiry of thomas, as to the source of his intelligence. mrs. dashwood immediately took all that trouble on herself; and elinor had the benefit of the information without the exertion of seeking it. [illustration: "_i suppose you know, ma'am, that mr. ferrars is married._"] "who told you that mr. ferrars was married, thomas?" "i see mr. ferrars myself, ma'am, this morning in exeter, and his lady too, miss steele as was. they was stopping in a chaise at the door of the new london inn, as i went there with a message from sally at the park to her brother, who is one of the post-boys. i happened to look up as i went by the chaise, and so i see directly it was the youngest miss steele; so i took off my hat, and she knew me and called to me, and inquired after you, ma'am, and the young ladies, especially miss marianne, and bid me i should give her compliments and mr. ferrars's, their best compliments and service, and how sorry they was they had not time to come on and see you, but they was in a great hurry to go forwards, for they was going further down for a little while, but however, when they come back, they'd make sure to come and see you." "but did she tell you she was married, thomas?" "yes, ma'am. she smiled, and said how she had changed her name since she was in these parts. she was always a very affable and free-spoken young lady, and very civil behaved. so, i made free to wish her joy." "was mr. ferrars in the carriage with her?" "yes, ma'am, i just see him leaning back in it, but he did not look up;--he never was a gentleman much for talking." elinor's heart could easily account for his not putting himself forward; and mrs. dashwood probably found the same explanation. "was there no one else in the carriage?" "no, ma'am, only they two." "do you know where they came from?" "they come straight from town, as miss lucy--mrs. ferrars told me." "and are they going farther westward?" "yes, ma'am--but not to bide long. they will soon be back again, and then they'd be sure and call here." mrs. dashwood now looked at her daughter; but elinor knew better than to expect them. she recognised the whole of lucy in the message, and was very confident that edward would never come near them. she observed in a low voice, to her mother, that they were probably going down to mr. pratt's, near plymouth. thomas's intelligence seemed over. elinor looked as if she wished to hear more. "did you see them off, before you came away?" "no, ma'am--the horses were just coming out, but i could not bide any longer; i was afraid of being late." "did mrs. ferrars look well?" "yes, ma'am, she said how she was very well; and to my mind she was always a very handsome young lady--and she seemed vastly contented." mrs. dashwood could think of no other question, and thomas and the tablecloth, now alike needless, were soon afterwards dismissed. marianne had already sent to say, that she should eat nothing more. mrs. dashwood's and elinor's appetites were equally lost, and margaret might think herself very well off, that with so much uneasiness as both her sisters had lately experienced, so much reason as they had often had to be careless of their meals, she had never been obliged to go without her dinner before. when the dessert and the wine were arranged, and mrs. dashwood and elinor were left by themselves, they remained long together in a similarity of thoughtfulness and silence. mrs. dashwood feared to hazard any remark, and ventured not to offer consolation. she now found that she had erred in relying on elinor's representation of herself; and justly concluded that every thing had been expressly softened at the time, to spare her from an increase of unhappiness, suffering as she then had suffered for marianne. she found that she had been misled by the careful, the considerate attention of her daughter, to think the attachment, which once she had so well understood, much slighter in reality, than she had been wont to believe, or than it was now proved to be. she feared that under this persuasion she had been unjust, inattentive, nay, almost unkind, to her elinor; that marianne's affliction, because more acknowledged, more immediately before her, had too much engrossed her tenderness, and led her away to forget that in elinor she might have a daughter suffering almost as much, certainly with less self-provocation, and greater fortitude. chapter xlviii elinor now found the difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event, however certain the mind may be told to consider it, and certainty itself. she now found, that in spite of herself, she had always admitted a hope, while edward remained single, that something would occur to prevent his marrying lucy; that some resolution of his own, some mediation of friends, or some more eligible opportunity of establishment for the lady, would arise to assist the happiness of all. but he was now married; and she condemned her heart for the lurking flattery, which so much heightened the pain of the intelligence. that he should be married soon, before (as she imagined) he could be in orders, and consequently before he could be in possession of the living, surprised her a little at first. but she soon saw how likely it was that lucy, in her self-provident care, in her haste to secure him, should overlook every thing but the risk of delay. they were married, married in town, and now hastening down to her uncle's. what had edward felt on being within four miles from barton, on seeing her mother's servant, on hearing lucy's message! they would soon, she supposed, be settled at delaford;--delaford,--that place in which so much conspired to give her an interest; which she wished to be acquainted with, and yet desired to avoid. she saw them in an instant in their parsonage-house; saw in lucy, the active, contriving manager, uniting at once a desire of smart appearance with the utmost frugality, and ashamed to be suspected of half her economical practices; pursuing her own interest in every thought, courting the favour of colonel brandon, of mrs. jennings, and of every wealthy friend. in edward, she knew not what she saw, nor what she wished to see. happy or unhappy, nothing pleased her; she turned away her head from every sketch of him. elinor flattered herself that some one of their connections in london would write to them to announce the event, and give farther particulars,--but day after day passed off, and brought no letter, no tidings. though uncertain that any one were to blame, she found fault with every absent friend. they were all thoughtless or indolent. "when do you write to colonel brandon, ma'am?" was an inquiry which sprung from the impatience of her mind to have something going on. "i wrote to him, my love, last week, and rather expect to see, than to hear from him again. i earnestly pressed his coming to us, and should not be surprised to see him walk in today or tomorrow, or any day." this was gaining something, something to look forward to. colonel brandon must have some information to give. scarcely had she so determined it, when the figure of a man on horseback drew her eyes to the window. he stopped at their gate. it was a gentleman, it was colonel brandon himself. now she could hear more; and she trembled in expectation of it. but--it was _not_ colonel brandon--neither his air--nor his height. were it possible, she must say it must be edward. she looked again. he had just dismounted;--she could not be mistaken,--it _was_ edward. she moved away and sat down. "he comes from mr. pratt's purposely to see us. i _will_ be calm, i _will_ be mistress of myself." in a moment she perceived that the others were likewise aware of the mistake. she saw her mother and marianne change colour; saw them look at herself, and whisper a few sentences to each other. she would have given the world to be able to speak--and to make them understand that she hoped no coolness, no slight, would appear in their behaviour to him;--but she had no utterance, and was obliged to leave all to their own discretion. not a syllable passed aloud. they all waited in silence for the appearance of their visitor. his footsteps were heard along the gravel path; in a moment he was in the passage, and in another he was before them. his countenance, as he entered the room, was not too happy, even for elinor. his complexion was white with agitation, and he looked as if fearful of his reception, and conscious that he merited no kind one. mrs. dashwood, however, conforming, as she trusted, to the wishes of that daughter, by whom she then meant in the warmth of her heart to be guided in every thing, met with a look of forced complacency, gave him her hand, and wished him joy. [illustration: _it was edward._] he coloured, and stammered out an unintelligible reply. elinor's lips had moved with her mother's, and, when the moment of action was over, she wished that she had shaken hands with him too. but it was then too late, and with a countenance meaning to be open, she sat down again and talked of the weather. marianne had retreated as much as possible out of sight, to conceal her distress; and margaret, understanding some part, but not the whole of the case, thought it incumbent on her to be dignified, and therefore took a seat as far from him as she could, and maintained a strict silence. when elinor had ceased to rejoice in the dryness of the season, a very awful pause took place. it was put an end to by mrs. dashwood, who felt obliged to hope that he had left mrs. ferrars very well. in a hurried manner, he replied in the affirmative. another pause. elinor resolving to exert herself, though fearing the sound of her own voice, now said-"is mrs. ferrars at longstaple?" "at longstaple!" he replied, with an air of surprise. "no, my mother is in town." "i meant," said elinor, taking up some work from the table, "to inquire for mrs. _edward_ ferrars." she dared not look up;--but her mother and marianne both turned their eyes on him. he coloured, seemed perplexed, looked doubtingly, and, after some hesitation, said,-"perhaps you mean--my brother--you mean mrs.--mrs. _robert_ ferrars." "mrs. robert ferrars!"--was repeated by marianne and her mother in an accent of the utmost amazement;--and though elinor could not speak, even _her_ eyes were fixed on him with the same impatient wonder. he rose from his seat, and walked to the window, apparently from not knowing what to do; took up a pair of scissors that lay there, and while spoiling both them and their sheath by cutting the latter to pieces as he spoke, said, in a hurried voice-"perhaps you do not know--you may not have heard that my brother is lately married to--to the youngest--to miss lucy steele." his words were echoed with unspeakable astonishment by all but elinor, who sat with her head leaning over her work, in a state of such agitation as made her hardly know where she was. "yes," said he, "they were married last week, and are now at dawlish." elinor could sit it no longer. she almost ran out of the room, and as soon as the door was closed, burst into tears of joy, which at first she thought would never cease. edward, who had till then looked any where, rather than at her, saw her hurry away, and perhaps saw, or even heard, her emotion; for immediately afterwards he fell into a reverie, which no remarks, no inquiries, no affectionate address of mrs. dashwood could penetrate, and at last, without saying a word, quitted the room, and walked out towards the village, leaving the others in the greatest astonishment and perplexity on a change in his situation, so wonderful and so sudden,--a perplexity which they had no means of lessening but by their own conjectures. chapter xlix unaccountable, however, as the circumstances of his release might appear to the whole family, it was certain that edward was free; and to what purpose that freedom would be employed was easily pre-determined by all;--for after experiencing the blessings of _one_ imprudent engagement, contracted without his mother's consent, as he had already done for more than four years, nothing less could be expected of him in the failure of _that_, than the immediate contraction of another. his errand at barton, in fact, was a simple one. it was only to ask elinor to marry him;--and considering that he was not altogether inexperienced in such a question, it might be strange that he should feel so uncomfortable in the present case as he really did, so much in need of encouragement and fresh air. how soon he had walked himself into the proper resolution, however, how soon an opportunity of exercising it occurred, in what manner he expressed himself, and how he was received, need not be particularly told. this only need be said;--that when they all sat down to table at four o'clock, about three hours after his arrival, he had secured his lady, engaged her mother's consent, and was not only in the rapturous profession of the lover, but, in the reality of reason and truth, one of the happiest of men. his situation indeed was more than commonly joyful. he had more than the ordinary triumph of accepted love to swell his heart, and raise his spirits. he was released without any reproach to himself, from an entanglement which had long formed his misery, from a woman whom he had long ceased to love; and elevated at once to that security with another, which he must have thought of almost with despair, as soon as he had learnt to consider it with desire. he was brought, not from doubt or suspense, but from misery to happiness; and the change was openly spoken in such a genuine, flowing, grateful cheerfulness, as his friends had never witnessed in him before. his heart was now open to elinor, all its weaknesses, all its errors confessed, and his first boyish attachment to lucy treated with all the philosophic dignity of twenty-four. "it was a foolish, idle inclination on my side," said he, "the consequence of ignorance of the world and want of employment. had my mother given me some active profession when i was removed at eighteen from the care of mr. pratt, i think, nay, i am sure, it would never have happened; for though i left longstaple with what i thought, at the time, a most unconquerable preference for his niece, yet had i then had any pursuit, any object to engage my time and keep me at a distance from her for a few months, i should very soon have outgrown the fancied attachment, especially by mixing more with the world, as in such case i must have done. but instead of having any thing to do, instead of having any profession chosen for me, or being allowed to choose any myself, i returned home to be completely idle; and for the first twelvemonth afterwards i had not even the nominal employment, which belonging to the university would have given me; for i was not entered at oxford till i was nineteen. i had therefore nothing in the world to do, but to fancy myself in love; and as my mother did not make my home in every respect comfortable, as i had no friend, no companion in my brother, and disliked new acquaintance, it was not unnatural for me to be very often at longstaple, where i always felt myself at home, and was always sure of a welcome; and accordingly i spent the greatest part of my time there from eighteen to nineteen: lucy appeared everything that was amiable and obliging. she was pretty too--at least i thought so _then_; and i had seen so little of other women, that i could make no comparisons, and see no defects. considering everything, therefore, i hope, foolish as our engagement was, foolish as it has since in every way been proved, it was not at the time an unnatural or an inexcusable piece of folly." the change which a few hours had wrought in the minds and the happiness of the dashwoods, was such--so great--as promised them all, the satisfaction of a sleepless night. mrs. dashwood, too happy to be comfortable, knew not how to love edward, nor praise elinor enough, how to be enough thankful for his release without wounding his delicacy, nor how at once to give them leisure for unrestrained conversation together, and yet enjoy, as she wished, the sight and society of both. marianne could speak _her_ happiness only by tears. comparisons would occur--regrets would arise;--and her joy, though sincere as her love for her sister, was of a kind to give her neither spirits nor language. but elinor--how are _her_ feelings to be described? from the moment of learning that lucy was married to another, that edward was free, to the moment of his justifying the hopes which had so instantly followed, she was every thing by turns but tranquil. but when the second moment had passed, when she found every doubt, every solicitude removed, compared her situation with what so lately it had been,--saw him honourably released from his former engagement,--saw him instantly profiting by the release, to address herself and declare an affection as tender, as constant as she had ever supposed it to be,--she was oppressed, she was overcome by her own felicity; and happily disposed as is the human mind to be easily familiarized with any change for the better, it required several hours to give sedateness to her spirits, or any degree of tranquillity to her heart. edward was now fixed at the cottage at least for a week;--for whatever other claims might be made on him, it was impossible that less than a week should be given up to the enjoyment of elinor's company, or suffice to say half that was to be said of the past, the present, and the future;--for though a very few hours spent in the hard labor of incessant talking will despatch more subjects than can really be in common between any two rational creatures, yet with lovers it is different. between _them_ no subject is finished, no communication is even made, till it has been made at least twenty times over. lucy's marriage, the unceasing and reasonable wonder among them all, formed of course one of the earliest discussions of the lovers;--and elinor's particular knowledge of each party made it appear to her in every view, as one of the most extraordinary and unaccountable circumstances she had ever heard. how they could be thrown together, and by what attraction robert could be drawn on to marry a girl, of whose beauty she had herself heard him speak without any admiration,--a girl too already engaged to his brother, and on whose account that brother had been thrown off by his family--it was beyond her comprehension to make out. to her own heart it was a delightful affair, to her imagination it was even a ridiculous one, but to her reason, her judgment, it was completely a puzzle. edward could only attempt an explanation by supposing, that, perhaps, at first accidentally meeting, the vanity of the one had been so worked on by the flattery of the other, as to lead by degrees to all the rest. elinor remembered what robert had told her in harley street, of his opinion of what his own mediation in his brother's affairs might have done, if applied to in time. she repeated it to edward. "_that_ was exactly like robert," was his immediate observation. "and _that_," he presently added, "might perhaps be in _his_ head when the acquaintance between them first began. and lucy perhaps at first might think only of procuring his good offices in my favour. other designs might afterward arise." how long it had been carrying on between them, however, he was equally at a loss with herself to make out; for at oxford, where he had remained for choice ever since his quitting london, he had had no means of hearing of her but from herself, and her letters to the very last were neither less frequent, nor less affectionate than usual. not the smallest suspicion, therefore, had ever occurred to prepare him for what followed;--and when at last it burst on him in a letter from lucy herself, he had been for some time, he believed, half stupified between the wonder, the horror, and the joy of such a deliverance. he put the letter into elinor's hands. "dear sir, "being very sure i have long lost your affections, i have thought myself at liberty to bestow my own on another, and have no doubt of being as happy with him as i once used to think i might be with you; but i scorn to accept a hand while the heart was another's. sincerely wish you happy in your choice, and it shall not be my fault if we are not always good friends, as our near relationship now makes proper. i can safely say i owe you no ill-will, and am sure you will be too generous to do us any ill offices. your brother has gained my affections entirely, and as we could not live without one another, we are just returned from the altar, and are now on our way to dawlish for a few weeks, which place your dear brother has great curiosity to see, but thought i would first trouble you with these few lines, and shall always remain- "your sincere well-wisher, friend, and sister, "lucy ferrars." "i have burnt all your letters, and will return your picture the first opportunity. please to destroy my scrawls--but the ring with my hair you are very welcome to keep." elinor read and returned it without any comment. "i will not ask your opinion of it as a composition," said edward. "for worlds would not i have had a letter of hers seen by _you_ in former days. in a sister it is bad enough, but in a wife! how i have blushed over the pages of her writing! and i believe i may say that since the first half year of our foolish business this is the only letter i ever received from her, of which the substance made me any amends for the defect of the style." "however it may have come about," said elinor, after a pause,--"they are certainly married. and your mother has brought on herself a most appropriate punishment. the independence she settled on robert, through resentment against you, has put it in his power to make his own choice; and she has actually been bribing one son with a thousand a-year, to do the very deed which she disinherited the other for intending to do. she will hardly be less hurt, i suppose, by robert's marrying lucy, than she would have been by your marrying her." "she will be more hurt by it, for robert always was her favourite. she will be more hurt by it, and on the same principle will forgive him much sooner." in what state the affair stood at present between them, edward knew not, for no communication with any of his family had yet been attempted by him. he had quitted oxford within four and twenty hours after lucy's letter arrived, and with only one object before him, the nearest road to barton, had had no leisure to form any scheme of conduct, with which that road did not hold the most intimate connection. he could do nothing till he were assured of his fate with miss dashwood; and by his rapidity in seeking _that_ fate, it is to be supposed, in spite of the jealousy with which he had once thought of colonel brandon, in spite of the modesty with which he rated his own deserts, and the politeness with which he talked of his doubts, he did not, upon the whole, expect a very cruel reception. it was his business, however, to say that he _did_, and he said it very prettily. what he might say on the subject a twelvemonth after, must be referred to the imagination of husbands and wives. that lucy had certainly meant to deceive, to go off with a flourish of malice against him in her message by thomas, was perfectly clear to elinor; and edward himself, now thoroughly enlightened on her character, had no scruple in believing her capable of the utmost meanness of wanton ill-nature. though his eyes had been long opened, even before his acquaintance with elinor began, to her ignorance and a want of liberality in some of her opinions, they had been equally imputed, by him, to her want of education; and till her last letter reached him, he had always believed her to be a well-disposed, good-hearted girl, and thoroughly attached to himself. nothing but such a persuasion could have prevented his putting an end to an engagement, which, long before the discovery of it laid him open to his mother's anger, had been a continual source of disquiet and regret to him. "i thought it my duty," said he, "independent of my feelings, to give her the option of continuing the engagement or not, when i was renounced by my mother, and stood to all appearance without a friend in the world to assist me. in such a situation as that, where there seemed nothing to tempt the avarice or the vanity of any living creature, how could i suppose, when she so earnestly, so warmly insisted on sharing my fate, whatever it might be, that any thing but the most disinterested affection was her inducement? and even now, i cannot comprehend on what motive she acted, or what fancied advantage it could be to her, to be fettered to a man for whom she had not the smallest regard, and who had only two thousand pounds in the world. she could not foresee that colonel brandon would give me a living." "no; but she might suppose that something would occur in your favour; that your own family might in time relent. and at any rate, she lost nothing by continuing the engagement, for she has proved that it fettered neither her inclination nor her actions. the connection was certainly a respectable one, and probably gained her consideration among her friends; and, if nothing more advantageous occurred, it would be better for her to marry _you_ than be single." edward was, of course, immediately convinced that nothing could have been more natural than lucy's conduct, nor more self-evident than the motive of it. elinor scolded him, harshly as ladies always scold the imprudence which compliments themselves, for having spent so much time with them at norland, when he must have felt his own inconstancy. "your behaviour was certainly very wrong," said she; "because--to say nothing of my own conviction, our relations were all led away by it to fancy and expect _what_, as you were _then_ situated, could never be." he could only plead an ignorance of his own heart, and a mistaken confidence in the force of his engagement. "i was simple enough to think, that because my _faith_ was plighted to another, there could be no danger in my being with you; and that the consciousness of my engagement was to keep my heart as safe and sacred as my honour. i felt that i admired you, but i told myself it was only friendship; and till i began to make comparisons between yourself and lucy, i did not know how far i was got. after that, i suppose, i _was_ wrong in remaining so much in sussex, and the arguments with which i reconciled myself to the expediency of it, were no better than these:--the danger is my own; i am doing no injury to anybody but myself." elinor smiled, and shook her head. edward heard with pleasure of colonel brandon's being expected at the cottage, as he really wished not only to be better acquainted with him, but to have an opportunity of convincing him that he no longer resented his giving him the living of delaford--"which, at present," said he, "after thanks so ungraciously delivered as mine were on the occasion, he must think i have never forgiven him for offering." _now_ he felt astonished himself that he had never yet been to the place. but so little interest had he taken in the matter, that he owed all his knowledge of the house, garden, and glebe, extent of the parish, condition of the land, and rate of the tithes, to elinor herself, who had heard so much of it from colonel brandon, and heard it with so much attention, as to be entirely mistress of the subject. one question after this only remained undecided, between them, one difficulty only was to be overcome. they were brought together by mutual affection, with the warmest approbation of their real friends; their intimate knowledge of each other seemed to make their happiness certain--and they only wanted something to live upon. edward had two thousand pounds, and elinor one, which, with delaford living, was all that they could call their own; for it was impossible that mrs. dashwood should advance anything; and they were neither of them quite enough in love to think that three hundred and fifty pounds a-year would supply them with the comforts of life. edward was not entirely without hopes of some favourable change in his mother towards him; and on _that_ he rested for the residue of their income. but elinor had no such dependence; for since edward would still be unable to marry miss morton, and his choosing herself had been spoken of in mrs. ferrars's flattering language as only a lesser evil than his choosing lucy steele, she feared that robert's offence would serve no other purpose than to enrich fanny. about four days after edward's arrival colonel brandon appeared, to complete mrs. dashwood's satisfaction, and to give her the dignity of having, for the first time since her living at barton, more company with her than her house would hold. edward was allowed to retain the privilege of first comer, and colonel brandon therefore walked every night to his old quarters at the park; from whence he usually returned in the morning, early enough to interrupt the lovers' first tête-à-tête before breakfast. a three weeks' residence at delaford, where, in his evening hours at least, he had little to do but to calculate the disproportion between thirty-six and seventeen, brought him to barton in a temper of mind which needed all the improvement in marianne's looks, all the kindness of her welcome, and all the encouragement of her mother's language, to make it cheerful. among such friends, however, and such flattery, he did revive. no rumour of lucy's marriage had yet reached him:--he knew nothing of what had passed; and the first hours of his visit were consequently spent in hearing and in wondering. every thing was explained to him by mrs. dashwood, and he found fresh reason to rejoice in what he had done for mr. ferrars, since eventually it promoted the interest of elinor. it would be needless to say, that the gentlemen advanced in the good opinion of each other, as they advanced in each other's acquaintance, for it could not be otherwise. their resemblance in good principles and good sense, in disposition and manner of thinking, would probably have been sufficient to unite them in friendship, without any other attraction; but their being in love with two sisters, and two sisters fond of each other, made that mutual regard inevitable and immediate, which might otherwise have waited the effect of time and judgment. the letters from town, which a few days before would have made every nerve in elinor's body thrill with transport, now arrived to be read with less emotion than mirth. mrs. jennings wrote to tell the wonderful tale, to vent her honest indignation against the jilting girl, and pour forth her compassion towards poor mr. edward, who, she was sure, had quite doted upon the worthless hussy, and was now, by all accounts, almost broken-hearted, at oxford. "i do think," she continued, "nothing was ever carried on so sly; for it was but two days before lucy called and sat a couple of hours with me. not a soul suspected anything of the matter, not even nancy, who, poor soul! came crying to me the day after, in a great fright for fear of mrs. ferrars, as well as not knowing how to get to plymouth; for lucy it seems borrowed all her money before she went off to be married, on purpose we suppose to make a show with, and poor nancy had not seven shillings in the world;--so i was very glad to give her five guineas to take her down to exeter, where she thinks of staying three or four weeks with mrs. burgess, in hopes, as i tell her, to fall in with the doctor again. and i must say that lucy's crossness not to take them along with them in the chaise is worse than all. poor mr. edward! i cannot get him out of my head, but you must send for him to barton, and miss marianne must try to comfort him." mr. dashwood's strains were more solemn. mrs. ferrars was the most unfortunate of women--poor fanny had suffered agonies of sensibility--and he considered the existence of each, under such a blow, with grateful wonder. robert's offence was unpardonable, but lucy's was infinitely worse. neither of them were ever again to be mentioned to mrs. ferrars; and even, if she might hereafter be induced to forgive her son, his wife should never be acknowledged as her daughter, nor be permitted to appear in her presence. the secrecy with which everything had been carried on between them, was rationally treated as enormously heightening the crime, because, had any suspicion of it occurred to the others, proper measures would have been taken to prevent the marriage; and he called on elinor to join with him in regretting that lucy's engagement with edward had not rather been fulfilled, than that she should thus be the means of spreading misery farther in the family. he thus continued:-"mrs. ferrars has never yet mentioned edward's name, which does not surprise us; but, to our great astonishment, not a line has been received from him on the occasion. perhaps, however, he is kept silent by his fear of offending, and i shall, therefore, give him a hint, by a line to oxford, that his sister and i both think a letter of proper submission from him, addressed perhaps to fanny, and by her shown to her mother, might not be taken amiss; for we all know the tenderness of mrs. ferrars's heart, and that she wishes for nothing so much as to be on good terms with her children." this paragraph was of some importance to the prospects and conduct of edward. it determined him to attempt a reconciliation, though not exactly in the manner pointed out by their brother and sister. "a letter of proper submission!" repeated he; "would they have me beg my mother's pardon for robert's ingratitude to _her_, and breach of honour to _me_? i can make no submission. i am grown neither humble nor penitent by what has passed. i am grown very happy; but that would not interest. i know of no submission that _is_ proper for me to make." "you may certainly ask to be forgiven," said elinor, "because you have offended;--and i should think you might _now_ venture so far as to profess some concern for having ever formed the engagement which drew on you your mother's anger." he agreed that he might. "and when she has forgiven you, perhaps a little humility may be convenient while acknowledging a second engagement, almost as imprudent in _her_ eyes as the first." he had nothing to urge against it, but still resisted the idea of a letter of proper submission; and therefore, to make it easier to him, as he declared a much greater willingness to make mean concessions by word of mouth than on paper, it was resolved that, instead of writing to fanny, he should go to london, and personally entreat her good offices in his favour. "and if they really _do_ interest themselves," said marianne, in her new character of candour, "in bringing about a reconciliation, i shall think that even john and fanny are not entirely without merit." after a visit on colonel brandon's side of only three or four days, the two gentlemen quitted barton together. they were to go immediately to delaford, that edward might have some personal knowledge of his future home, and assist his patron and friend in deciding on what improvements were needed to it; and from thence, after staying there a couple of nights, he was to proceed on his journey to town. chapter l after a proper resistance on the part of mrs. ferrars, just so violent and so steady as to preserve her from that reproach which she always seemed fearful of incurring, the reproach of being too amiable, edward was admitted to her presence, and pronounced to be again her son. her family had of late been exceedingly fluctuating. for many years of her life she had had two sons; but the crime and annihilation of edward a few weeks ago, had robbed her of one; the similar annihilation of robert had left her for a fortnight without any; and now, by the resuscitation of edward, she had one again. in spite of his being allowed once more to live, however, he did not feel the continuance of his existence secure, till he had revealed his present engagement; for the publication of that circumstance, he feared, might give a sudden turn to his constitution, and carry him off as rapidly as before. with apprehensive caution therefore it was revealed, and he was listened to with unexpected calmness. mrs. ferrars at first reasonably endeavoured to dissuade him from marrying miss dashwood, by every argument in her power; told him, that in miss morton he would have a woman of higher rank and larger fortune; and enforced the assertion, by observing that miss morton was the daughter of a nobleman with thirty thousand pounds, while miss dashwood was only the daughter of a private gentleman with no more than _three_; but when she found that, though perfectly admitting the truth of her representation, he was by no means inclined to be guided by it, she judged it wisest, from the experience of the past, to submit; and therefore, after such an ungracious delay as she owed to her own dignity, and as served to prevent every suspicion of good-will, she issued her decree of consent to the marriage of edward and elinor. what she would engage to do towards augmenting their income was next to be considered; and here it plainly appeared, that though edward was now her only son, he was by no means her eldest; for while robert was inevitably endowed with a thousand pounds a-year, not the smallest objection was made against edward's taking orders for the sake of two hundred and fifty at the utmost; nor was anything promised either for the present or in future, beyond the ten thousand pounds, which had been given with fanny. it was as much, however, as was desired, and more than was expected, by edward and elinor; and mrs. ferrars herself, by her shuffling excuses, seemed the only person surprised at her not giving more. with an income quite sufficient to their wants thus secured to them, they had nothing to wait for after edward was in possession of the living, but the readiness of the house, to which colonel brandon, with an eager desire for the accommodation of elinor, was making considerable improvements; and after waiting some time for their completion, after experiencing, as usual, a thousand disappointments and delays from the unaccountable dilatoriness of the workmen, elinor, as usual, broke through the first positive resolution of not marrying till every thing was ready, and the ceremony took place in barton church early in the autumn. the first month after their marriage was spent with their friend at the mansion-house; from whence they could superintend the progress of the parsonage, and direct every thing as they liked on the spot;--could choose papers, project shrubberies, and invent a sweep. mrs. jennings's prophecies, though rather jumbled together, were chiefly fulfilled; for she was able to visit edward and his wife in their parsonage by michaelmas, and she found in elinor and her husband, as she really believed, one of the happiest couples in the world. they had in fact nothing to wish for, but the marriage of colonel brandon and marianne, and rather better pasturage for their cows. they were visited on their first settling by almost all their relations and friends. mrs. ferrars came to inspect the happiness which she was almost ashamed of having authorised; and even the dashwoods were at the expense of a journey from sussex to do them honour. "i will not say that i am disappointed, my dear sister," said john, as they were walking together one morning before the gates of delaford house, "_that_ would be saying too much, for certainly you have been one of the most fortunate young women in the world, as it is. but, i confess, it would give me great pleasure to call colonel brandon brother. his property here, his place, his house,--every thing is in such respectable and excellent condition! and his woods,--i have not seen such timber any where in dorsetshire, as there is now standing in delaford hanger! and though, perhaps, marianne may not seem exactly the person to attract him, yet i think it would altogether be advisable for you to have them now frequently staying with you, for as colonel brandon seems a great deal at home, nobody can tell what may happen; for, when people are much thrown together, and see little of anybody else,--and it will always be in your power to set her off to advantage, and so forth. in short, you may as well give her a chance; you understand me." but though mrs. ferrars _did_ come to see them, and always treated them with the make-believe of decent affection, they were never insulted by her real favour and preference. _that_ was due to the folly of robert, and the cunning of his wife; and it was earned by them before many months had passed away. the selfish sagacity of the latter, which had at first drawn robert into the scrape, was the principal instrument of his deliverance from it; for her respectful humility, assiduous attentions, and endless flatteries, as soon as the smallest opening was given for their exercise, reconciled mrs. ferrars to his choice, and re-established him completely in her favour. [illustration: _everything in such respectable condition_] the whole of lucy's behaviour in the affair, and the prosperity which crowned it, therefore, may be held forth as a most encouraging instance of what an earnest, an unceasing attention to self-interest, however its progress may be apparently obstructed, will do in securing every advantage of fortune, with no other sacrifice than that of time and conscience. when robert first sought her acquaintance, and privately visited her in bartlett's buildings, it was only with the view imputed to him by his brother. he merely meant to persuade her to give up the engagement; and as there could be nothing to overcome but the affection of both, he naturally expected that one or two interviews would settle the matter. in that point, however, and that only, he erred; for though lucy soon gave him hopes that his eloquence would convince her in _time_, another visit, another conversation, was always wanted to produce this conviction. some doubts always lingered in her mind when they parted, which could only be removed by another half hour's discourse with himself. his attendance was by this means secured, and the rest followed in course. instead of talking of edward, they came gradually to talk only of robert,--a subject on which he had always more to say than on any other, and in which she soon betrayed an interest even equal to his own; and in short, it became speedily evident to both, that he had entirely supplanted his brother. he was proud of his conquest, proud of tricking edward, and very proud of marrying privately without his mother's consent. what immediately followed is known. they passed some months in great happiness at dawlish; for she had many relations and old acquaintances to cut--and he drew several plans for magnificent cottages; and from thence returning to town, procured the forgiveness of mrs. ferrars, by the simple expedient of asking it, which, at lucy's instigation, was adopted. the forgiveness, at first, indeed, as was reasonable, comprehended only robert; and lucy, who had owed his mother no duty and therefore could have transgressed none, still remained some weeks longer unpardoned. but perseverance in humility of conduct and messages, in self-condemnation for robert's offence, and gratitude for the unkindness she was treated with, procured her in time the haughty notice which overcame her by its graciousness, and led soon afterwards, by rapid degrees, to the highest state of affection and influence. lucy became as necessary to mrs. ferrars, as either robert or fanny; and while edward was never cordially forgiven for having once intended to marry her, and elinor, though superior to her in fortune and birth, was spoken of as an intruder, _she_ was in every thing considered, and always openly acknowledged, to be a favourite child. they settled in town, received very liberal assistance from mrs. ferrars, were on the best terms imaginable with the dashwoods; and setting aside the jealousies and ill-will continually subsisting between fanny and lucy, in which their husbands of course took a part, as well as the frequent domestic disagreements between robert and lucy themselves, nothing could exceed the harmony in which they all lived together. what edward had done to forfeit the right of eldest son, might have puzzled many people to find out; and what robert had done to succeed to it, might have puzzled them still more. it was an arrangement, however, justified in its effects, if not in its cause; for nothing ever appeared in robert's style of living or of talking to give a suspicion of his regretting the extent of his income, as either leaving his brother too little, or bringing himself too much;--and if edward might be judged from the ready discharge of his duties in every particular, from an increasing attachment to his wife and his home, and from the regular cheerfulness of his spirits, he might be supposed no less contented with his lot, no less free from every wish of an exchange. elinor's marriage divided her as little from her family as could well be contrived, without rendering the cottage at barton entirely useless, for her mother and sisters spent much more than half their time with her. mrs. dashwood was acting on motives of policy as well as pleasure in the frequency of her visits at delaford; for her wish of bringing marianne and colonel brandon together was hardly less earnest, though rather more liberal than what john had expressed. it was now her darling object. precious as was the company of her daughter to her, she desired nothing so much as to give up its constant enjoyment to her valued friend; and to see marianne settled at the mansion-house was equally the wish of edward and elinor. they each felt his sorrows, and their own obligations, and marianne, by general consent, was to be the reward of all. with such a confederacy against her--with a knowledge so intimate of his goodness--with a conviction of his fond attachment to herself, which at last, though long after it was observable to everybody else--burst on her--what could she do? marianne dashwood was born to an extraordinary fate. she was born to discover the falsehood of her own opinions, and to counteract, by her conduct, her most favourite maxims. she was born to overcome an affection formed so late in life as at seventeen, and with no sentiment superior to strong esteem and lively friendship, voluntarily to give her hand to another!--and _that_ other, a man who had suffered no less than herself under the event of a former attachment, whom, two years before, she had considered too old to be married,--and who still sought the constitutional safeguard of a flannel waistcoat! but so it was. instead of falling a sacrifice to an irresistible passion, as once she had fondly flattered herself with expecting, instead of remaining even for ever with her mother, and finding her only pleasures in retirement and study, as afterwards in her more calm and sober judgment she had determined on,--she found herself at nineteen, submitting to new attachments, entering on new duties, placed in a new home, a wife, the mistress of a family, and the patroness of a village. colonel brandon was now as happy, as all those who best loved him, believed he deserved to be;--in marianne he was consoled for every past affliction;--her regard and her society restored his mind to animation, and his spirits to cheerfulness; and that marianne found her own happiness in forming his, was equally the persuasion and delight of each observing friend. marianne could never love by halves; and her whole heart became, in time, as much devoted to her husband, as it had once been to willoughby. willoughby could not hear of her marriage without a pang; and his punishment was soon afterwards complete in the voluntary forgiveness of mrs. smith, who, by stating his marriage with a woman of character, as the source of her clemency, gave him reason for believing that had he behaved with honour towards marianne, he might at once have been happy and rich. that his repentance of misconduct, which thus brought its own punishment, was sincere, need not be doubted;--nor that he long thought of colonel brandon with envy, and of marianne with regret. but that he was for ever inconsolable, that he fled from society, or contracted an habitual gloom of temper, or died of a broken heart, must not be depended on--for he did neither. he lived to exert, and frequently to enjoy himself. his wife was not always out of humour, nor his home always uncomfortable; and in his breed of horses and dogs, and in sporting of every kind, he found no inconsiderable degree of domestic felicity. for marianne, however, in spite of his incivility in surviving her loss, he always retained that decided regard which interested him in every thing that befell her, and made her his secret standard of perfection in woman; and many a rising beauty would be slighted by him in after-days as bearing no comparison with mrs. brandon. mrs. dashwood was prudent enough to remain at the cottage, without attempting a removal to delaford; and fortunately for sir john and mrs. jennings, when marianne was taken from them, margaret had reached an age highly suitable for dancing, and not very ineligible for being supposed to have a lover. between barton and delaford, there was that constant communication which strong family affection would naturally dictate;--and among the merits and the happiness of elinor and marianne, let it not be ranked as the least considerable, that though sisters, and living almost within sight of each other, they could live without disagreement between themselves, or producing coolness between their husbands. the end 