from images generously made available by the internet archive.) fair haven and foul strand by august strindberg new york mcbride, nast & company mcmxiv contents fair haven and foul strand the doctor's first story the doctor's second story herr bengt's wife fair haven and foul strand the quarantine doctor was a man of five-and-sixty, well-preserved, short, slim and elastic, with a military bearing which recalled the fact that he had served in the army medical corps. from birth he belonged to the eccentrics who feel uncomfortable in life and are never at home in it. born in a mining district, of well-to-do but stern parents, he had no pleasant recollections of his childhood. his father and mother never spoke kindly, even when there was occasion to do so, but always harshly, with or without cause. his mother was one of those strange characters who get angry about nothing. her anger arose without visible cause, so that her son sometimes thought she was not right in her head, and sometimes that she was deaf and could not hear properly, for occasionally her response to an act of kindness was a box on the ears. therefore the boy became mistrustful towards people in general, for the only natural bond which should have united him to humanity with tenderness, was broken, and everything in life assumed a hostile appearance. accordingly, though he did not show it, he was always in a posture of defence. at school he had friends, but since he did not know how sincerely he wished them well, he became submissive, and made all kinds of concessions in order to preserve his faith in real friendship. by so doing he let his friends encroach so much that they oppressed him and began to tyrannise over him. when matters came to this point, he went his own way without giving any explanations. but he soon found a new friend with whom the same story was repeated from beginning to end. the result was that later in life he only sought for acquaintances, and grew accustomed to rely only upon himself. when he was confirmed, and felt mature and responsible through being declared ecclesiastically of age, an event happened which proved a turning-point in his life. he came home too late for a meal and his mother received him with a shower of blows from a stick. without thinking, the young man raised his hand, and gave her a box on the ear. for a moment mother and son confronted each other, he expecting the roof to fall in or that he would be struck dead in some miraculous way. but nothing happened. his mother went out as though nothing had occurred, and behaved afterwards as though nothing unusual had taken place between them. later on in life when this affair recurred to his memory, he wondered what must have passed through her mind. she had cast one look to the ceiling as though she sought there for something--an invisible hand perhaps, or had she resigned herself to it, because she had at last seen that it was a well-deserved retribution, and therefore not called him to account? it was strange, that in spite of desperate efforts to produce pangs of conscience, he never felt any self-reproach on the subject. it seemed to have happened without his will, and as though it must happen. nevertheless, it marked a boundary-line in his life. the cord was cut and he fell out in life alone, away from his mother and domesticity. he felt as though he had been born without father and mother. both seemed to him strangers whom he would have found it most natural to call mr and mrs so-and-so. at the university he at once noticed the difference between his lot and that of his companions. they had parents, brothers, and sisters; there was an order and succession in their life. they had relations to their fellow-men and obeyed secret social laws. they felt instinctively that he did not belong to their fold. when as a young doctor he acted on behalf of an army medical officer for some time, he felt at once that he was not in his proper place, and so did the officers. the silent resistance which he offered from the first to their imperiousness and arbitrary ways marked him out as a dissatisfied critic, and he was left to himself. in the hospital it was the same. here he perceived at once the fateful predestination of social election, those who were called and those who were not called. it seemed as though the authorities could discern by scent those who were congenial to them. and so it was everywhere. he started a practice as a ladies' doctor, but had no luck, for he demanded straightforward answers to his questions, and those he never received. then he became impatient, and was considered brutal. he became a government sanitary officer in a remote part of the country, and since he was now independent of his patients' favour, he troubled himself still less about pleasing them. presently he was transferred to the quarantine service, and was finally stationed at skamsund. when he had come here, now seventeen years ago, he at once began to be at variance with the pilots, who, as the only authorities on the island, indulged themselves in many acts of arbitrariness towards the inhabitants. the quarantine doctor loved peace and quietness like other men, but he had early learnt that warfare is necessary; and that it is no use simply to be passive as regards one's rights, but that one must defend them every day and every hour of the day. since he was a new-comer they tried to curtail his authority and deprive him of his small privileges. the chief pilot had a prescriptive right to half the land, but the quarantine doctor had in his bay a small promontory where the pilots used to moor their private boats and store their fishing implements. the doctor first ascertained his legal rights in the matter, and when he found out that he had the sole right of using the promontory and that the pilots could store their fishing-tackle elsewhere, he went to the chief pilot and gave them a friendly notice to quit. when he saw that mere politeness was of no avail, he took stronger measures, had the place cleared and fenced off by his servants, turned it into a garden, and erected a simple pavilion in it. the pilots hailed petitions on the government, but the matter was decided in his favour. the result was a lifelong enmity between him and the pilots. the quarantine doctor was shut in on his promontory and himself placed in quarantine. there he had now remained for seventeen years, but not in peace, for there was always strife. either his dog fought with the pilots' dog, or their fowls came into his garden, or they ran their boats ashore on each other's ground. thus he was kept in a continual state of anger and excitement, and even if there ever was quiet for a moment outside the house, inside there was the housekeeper. they had quarrelled for seventeen years, and once every week she had packed her things in order to go. she was a tyrant and insisted that her master should have sugar in all his sauces, even with fresh cod. during all the seventeen years she had not learnt how to boil an egg but wished the doctor to learn to eat half-raw eggs, which he hated. sometimes he got tired of quarrelling, and then everything went on in kristin's old way. he would eat raw potatoes, stale bread, sour cream and such-like for a whole week and admire himself as a socrates; then his self-respect awoke and he began to storm again. he had to storm in order to get the salt-cellar placed on the table, to get the doors shut, to get the lamps filled with oil. the lamp-chimneys and wicks he had to clean himself, for that she could not learn. "you are a cow, kristin! you are a wretch who cannot value kindness. do you like me to storm? do you know that i abominate myself when i am obliged to get so excited. you make me bad, and you are a poisonous worm. i wish you had never been born, and lay in the depths of the earth. you are not a human being for you cannot learn; you are a cow, that you are! you will go? yes, go to the deuce, where you came from!" but kristin never went. once indeed she got as far as the steamer bridge, but turned round and entered the wood, whence the doctor had to fetch her home. the doctor's only acquaintance was the postmaster at fagervik, an old comrade of his student days, who came over every saturday evening. then the two drank and gossiped till past midnight and the postmaster remained till sunday morning. they certainly did not look at life and their fellow-men from the same point of view, for the postmaster was a decided member of the left party, and the doctor was a sceptic, but their talk suited each other so well, that their conversation was like a part-song, or piece of music, for two voices, in which the voices, although varying, yet formed a harmony. the doctor, with his wider, mental outlook, sometimes expressed disapproval of his companion's sentiments somewhat as follows: "you party-men are like one-eyed cats. some see only with the left eye, others with the right, and therefore you can never see stereoscopically, but always flat and one-sidedly." they were both great newspaper readers and followed the course of all questions with eagerness. the most burning question, however, was the religious one, for the political ones were settled by votes in the reichstag and came to an end, but the religious questions never ended. the postmaster hated pietists and temperance advocates. "why the deuce do you hate the pietists?" the doctor would say. "what harm have they done you? let them enjoy themselves; it doesn't affect me." "they are all hypocrites," said the postmaster dogmatically. "no," answered the doctor, "you cannot judge, for you have never been a pietist, but i have, and i was--deuce take me--no hypocrite. but i don't do it again. that is to say--one never knows, for it comes over one, or does not--it all depends on----" "on what?" "hard to say. pietism, for the rest, is a kind of european buddhism. both regard the world as an unclean place of punishment for the soul. therefore they seek to counteract material influences, and in that they are not so wrong. that they do not succeed is obvious, but the struggle itself deserves respect. their apparent hypocrisy results from the fact that they do not reach the goal they aim at, and their life always halts behind their teaching. that the priests of the church hate them is clear, for our married dairy farmers, card players and good diners do not love these apostles who show their unnecessariness and their defects. you know our clergy out there on the islands; i need not gossip about them, for you know. there you have the hypocrites, especially among the unfortunates, who after going through their examination have lost faith in all doctrines." "yes, but the pietists are enemies to culture." "no, i don't find that. when i came to this island it was inhabited by three hundred besotted beasts who led the life of devils. and now--you see for yourself. they are not lovable nor lively, but they are, at any rate, quiet, so that one can sleep at night; and they don't fight, so that one can walk about the island without fear for one's life and limbs. in a word, the simplest blessings of civilisation were the distinct result of the erection of the prayer-house." "the prayer-house which you never enter!" "no, i don't belong to that fold. but have you ever been there?" "i? no!" "you should hear them once at any rate." "why?" "you daren't!" "daren't! is it dangerous?" "so they say!" "not for me." "shall we wager a barrel of punch?" the postmaster reflected an instant, not so much on the punch as on the doctor's suspecting him of cowardice. "done! i will go there on friday. and you can carry the punch home in a boat, if you see anything go wrong with me." the day came and the postmaster ate his dinner with the doctor, before he took his way, as agreed, to the prayer-house. he had told no one of his intention, partly because he feared that the preacher might aim at him, partly because he did not wish to get the reputation of being a pietist. after dinner he borrowed a box of snuff to keep himself awake, in spite of the doctor's assurance that he would not have any chance of sleeping. and so he went. the doctor walked about his garden waiting for the result of the experiment to which many a stronger man than the postmaster had succumbed. he waited for an hour and a half; he waited two hours; he waited three. then at last he saw the congregation coming out--a sign that it was over. but the postmaster did not appear. the doctor became uneasy. another hour passed, and at last he saw his friend coming out of the wood. he came with a somewhat artificial liveliness and there was something forced in the springiness of his gait. when he saw the doctor, he made a slight wriggling movement with his legs, and shrugged his shoulders as though his clothes were too tight for him. "well?" asked the doctor. "it was tedious, wasn't it?" "yes," was the only answer. they went down to the pavilion and took their seats opposite each other, although the postmaster was shy of showing his face, into which a new expression had come. "give me a pinch of snuff," said the doctor slyly. the postmaster drew out the snuff-box, which had been untouched. "you did not sleep?" resumed the doctor. the postmaster felt embarrassed. "well, old fellow, you are not cheerful! what is the matter? stop a minute!" the doctor indicated with his forefinger the space between his friend's eyes and nose as though he wished to show him something, "i believe ... you have been crying!" "nonsense!" answered the postmaster, and straightened himself up. "but, at any rate, you know i am not easily befooled, but as i said that fellow is a wizard." "tell us, tell us! fancy your believing in wizards!" "yes, it was so strange." he paused for a while and continued: "can you imagine it? he preached, as was to be expected, especially to me. and in the middle of his preaching he told me all the secrets which, like everyone else, i have kept most jealously hidden from my childhood's days and earlier. i felt that i reddened, and that the whole congregation looked at me as though they knew it also, which is quite impossible. they nodded, keeping time with his words and looking at me simultaneously. yes, they turned round on their seats. even regarded as witchcraft it was----" "yes, yes, i know it, and therefore i take care. what it is i don't know, but it is something which i keep at arm's length. and it is the same with swedenborg. i sat once in an ante-room waiting for admission. behind me stood a book-case from which a book projected and prevented me from leaning my head back. i took the book down and it was part of swedenborg's 'arcana coelestia.' i opened it at random and--can you imagine it? in two minutes a subject which just then occupied my thoughts was explained to me in such detail and with an almost alarming amount of expert knowledge, that it was quite uncanny. in two minutes i was quite clear regarding myself and my concerns." "well, tell us about it." "no, i won't. you know yourself that the life we live in thought is secret, and what we experience in secret.... yes, we are not what we seem." "no." his friend broke in hastily. "no; our actions are very easy to control, but our thoughts ... ugh!" "and thoughts are the deeds of the mind, as i have read somewhere. with our silent, evil thoughts we can infect others; we can transfer our evil purposes to others who execute them. do you remember the case of the child murderess here ten years ago?" "no, i was away then." "she was a young children's nurse, innocent, fond of children, and had always been kind, as was elicited in examination. during the summer she was in the service of an actress up there in fagervik. in august she was arrested for child murder. i was present in court when she was examined. she could not assign any reason for her action. but the judge wished to find out the reason, since she had no personal motive for it. the witnesses declared that she had loved the child, and she admitted it. at her second examination she was beside herself with remorse and horror at the terrible deed, but still behaved as though she were not really guilty, although she assumed the responsibility for the crime. at the third examination the judge tried to help her, and put the question, 'how did the idea come to you of murdering an innocent child whom you loved? think carefully!' the girl cast a look of despair round the court, but when her eyes rested on the mother of the child, the actress, who was present for the first time, she answered the judge simply and naturally. 'i believe that my mistress wished it.' you should have seen the woman's face as these words were uttered. it seemed to me that her clothes dropped from her and she stood there exposed, and for the first time i thought of the abysmal depths of the human soul, over which a judge must walk with bandaged eyes, for he has no right to punish us in our interior life of thought; there we punish ourselves and that is what the pietists do." "what you say is true enough, but i know also that my inner life is sometimes higher and purer than my outward life." "i grant it. i have also an idea of my better ego, which is the best i know.... but tell me, what have you been doing for a whole hour in the wood?" "i was thinking." "you are not going to be a pietist, i suppose," broke in the doctor as he filled his glass. "no, not i." "but you no longer think the pietists are humbugs?" to this the postmaster made no reply. but the drinking did not go briskly that evening, and the conversation was on higher topics than usual. towards ten o'clock a terrible howling like that of wild beasts came over the sound. it was from the garden of the hotel in fagervik. both the philosophers glanced in that direction. "they are the crews of the cutters, of course," said the postmaster. "they are certainly fighting too. yes, fagervik is going down because of the rows at night. the holiday visitors run away for they cannot sleep, and they have thought of closing the beer-shops." "and of opening a prayer-house, perhaps?" this question also remained unanswered, and they parted without knowing exactly how they stood with each other. meanwhile the report spread in fagervik that the postmaster had been to the prayer-house, and when the next afternoon he found himself in his little circle at the hotel with the custom-house officer and the chief pilot, they greeted him with the important news: "so! you have become a pietist!" the postmaster parried the thrust with a jest, swore emphatically that it was untrue, and as a proof emptied his glass more thoroughly than usual. "but you have been there." "i was curious." "well, what did they say?" the postmaster's face darkened, and as they continued to jest it occurred to him that it was cowardly and contemptible to mock at what in his opinion did not deserve mockery. therefore he said seriously and decidedly: "leave me in peace! i am not a pietist, but i think highly of them." that was tantamount to a confession, and like an iron curtain something fell between him and his friends. the expression of their faces changed, and they seemed all at once strange to him. it was the most curious experience he had had, and it was painful at the same time. he kept away for a few days and seemed to be in an introspective mood. after that, by degrees, he resumed his old relations to them, came again to the hotel, and was gradually the same as before, but not quite. for he had "pricked up his ears" as the phrase goes. the saturday evening _tãªte-ã -tãªte_ were resumed as before. now that the postmaster had become more serious, and showed interest in the deeper things of life, the doctor considered the time had come to communicate to him some of the stock of observations which he had made on human life, without any reference to his own particular experience. it was reported that he had been married and had children but no one knew exactly the facts of the case. after he had satisfied himself that the postmaster liked being read to aloud, he ventured to suggest to him that they should spend the saturday evenings in this higher form of recreation, after they had first exchanged opinions on the questions of the day, as suggested by the events of the week. the subject-matter read would then provide occasion for further explanations and expressions of thought. accordingly, on saturday evening after supper, while the weather outside was cold and wet, they sat in the best room of the doctor's house. after searching for some time in a cupboard the doctor fished out a manuscript; at the last moment he hesitated--perhaps because it was autobiographical. in order to give himself courage he began with some preliminary remarks. "i don't think that, in your recollection, i have expressed my views on a certain question--the most important one of our time. this question, which touches the deepest things in life, and is treated most superficially because it is taken up in a spirit of partisanship.... i mean----" "nevermind! i know!" "you are afraid of it, but i am not, for it is no question for me, but a riddle or an insoluble problem. you know that there are insoluble problems whose insolubility can be proved, but still men continue to investigate the unsearchable." "come to the point! let us argue afterwards." "and they have tried to make laws to regulate the behaviour of married people to each other; that is as though one should lay down rules for forming a friendship or falling in love. well and good! i will tell you a story or two, and then we shall see whether the matter comes under the head of consideration at all, or whether the usual laws of thought apply in this case." "very well." "one thing more. don't think because quarantine is mentioned in the story that it is my story. that is buried deeper. now we will begin." the doctor's first story i they had gone off, taken the almost matter-of-course flight. an outcry rang through their social circle; people pressed their hands to the region of their heart, shuddered, lamented, condemned, according as each had figured to him or herself the terrible tragedy which had been played; two hearts had been torn asunder, two families raged against each other; there was a lonely husband and a deserted child; a desolate home, a career destroyed, entangled affairs which could not be put straight, and broken friendships. two men were sitting in a restaurant and discussing the affair. "but why did they run away? i think it disgusting!" "on the contrary! i consider that ordinary decency requires that they should leave the field to the irreproachable husband; then at any rate they need not meet in the streets. besides, it is more honest to be divorced than to form an illicit tie." "but why could they not keep their faith and vows? we for our part hold out for life through grief and joy." "yes, and how does it look afterwards? like an old bird's-nest in autumn! other times, other manners." "but it is terrible in any case." "not least for the runaways. now it will be the turn of the man who took all the consequences on himself. he will be paid out." "and so will she." * * * * * the story was as follows. the now divorced married pair had met three years before in a watering-place, and passed through all the stages of being in love in the normal way. they discovered, as usual, that they had been born for the special purpose of meeting each other and wandering through life hand in hand. in order to be worthy of her he gave up all doubtful habits and refined his language and his morals. she seemed to him an angel sent by god to open his eyes and to point him upwards. he overcame the usual difficulties regarding the publishing of the banns, convinced that those very difficulties were placed in his way in order to give him an opportunity of showing his courage and energy. they read the scandalous anonymous letters which generally follow engagements together, and put them in the fire. she wept, it is true, over the wickedness of men, but he said the purpose of it was to test their faith in each other. the period of their betrothal was one long intoxication. he declared that he did not need to drink any more, for her presence made him literally drunk. once in a way they felt the weirdness of the solitude which surrounded them, for their friends had given them up, considering themselves superfluous. "why do people avoid us?" she asked one evening as they walked outside the town. "because," he answered, "men run away when they see happiness." they did not notice that they themselves avoided intercourse with others, as they actually did. he, especially, showed a real dread of meeting his old bachelor friends, for they seemed to him like enemies, and he saw their sceptical grimaces, which were only too easy to interpret. "see! there he is caught! to think of the old rascal letting himself be hoodwinked!" etc. for the young bachelors were of the opinion then, as now, that love was a piece of trickery which sooner or later must be unmasked. but the conversation of the betrothed pair kept them above the banalities of everyday life, and they lived, as people say rightly, above the earth. but they began to feel afraid of the solitude which surrounded them and drove them together. they tried to go among other people, partly from the need of showing their happiness, and partly to quiet themselves. but when after the theatre they entered a restaurant, and she arranged her hair at the glass in the hall, he felt as though she was adorning herself for strangers. and when they sat down at the table, he became instantaneously silent, for her face assumed a new expression which was strange to him. her glances seemed to parry the looks of strangers. they both became silent, and his face wore an anxious expression. it was a dismal supper, and they soon left. when they came out she asked, somewhat out of humour at being disappointed of a pleasure, "are you vexed with me?" "no, my dear, i cannot be vexed with you. but i bleed inwardly when i see young fellows desecrate you with their looks." so their visits to the restaurant ceased. the weeks before the marriage were spent in arranging their future dwelling. they had discussed carpets and curtains, had interviewed workmen and shopmen, and in so doing had descended from their ideal heights. now they wanted to go out to get rid of these prosaic impressions. so they went, but with that ominous silence when the heads of a pair feel empty and someone seems to walk between them. he tried to rally himself and put her in good spirits but unsuccessfully. "i hang too heavily upon you," she said, and let go of his arm. he did not answer, for he really felt some relief. that annoyed her and she drew nearer the wall. the conversation was at an end, and they soon found themselves before her door. "good night," she said curtly. "good night," he replied with equal curtness, and they parted obviously to their mutual relief. this time there was no kiss in the passage and he did not wait outside the glass door to watch her slender figure move gracefully up the first flight of stairs. he went down the street with an elastic gait and drawing a deep breath of relief. he felt released from something oppressive, which nevertheless had been charming for three months. pulling himself together, he mentally picked up the dropped threads of a past which now seemed strong and sincere. he hurried on, his ego exulted, and both his arms, as they swung, felt like wings. that the affair was over he felt no doubt, but he saw no reason for it, and with wide-awake consciousness confronted a fact which he unhesitatingly accepted. when he came near his door he met an old friend whom, without further ado, he took by the arm, and invited to share his simple supper and to talk. his friend looked astonished, but followed him up the stairs. they ate and drank, smoked and chatted till midnight, discussing every variety of topic, old reminiscences and affairs of state, the reichstag and political economy. there was not a word regarding his betrothal and marriage, or even an allusion to them. it was a very enjoyable evening and he seemed to have gone back three months in his life. he noticed that his voice assumed a more manly tone, that he spoke his thoughts straight out as they came, without having to take the trouble to round off the corners of strong words to emphasise some expressions, and soften down others in order not to give offence. he felt as though he had found himself again, thrown off a strait-jacket, and laid aside a mask. he accompanied his friend downstairs to open the house-door. "well, you will be married in eight days," said the latter with the usual sceptical grimace. it was as though he had pressed a button and the door slammed to in answer. when he came to his room, he felt seized with disgust; he took the things off the table, cleared up, swept the room, and then became conscious of what he had lost, and how low he had sunk. he felt he had been unfaithful to his betrothed, because he had given his soul to another, even though that other was a man. he had lost something better than that which he thought he had gained. what he had found again was merely his old selfish, inconsiderate, comfortable, everyday ego, with its coarseness and uncleanness, which his friend liked because it suited his own. and now it was all over, and the link broken for ever! the great solitude would resume its sway, the ugly bachelor life begin again. it did not occur to him to sit down and write a letter, for he felt it would be useless. therefore he tried to weary himself in order to obtain sleep, soaked his whole head in cold water, and so went to bed. the little ceremony of winding up his watch made, to-night, a peculiar impression on him. everything had to be renewed at night, even time itself. perhaps her love only needed a night's rest in order to recommence. when he awoke the following morning, the sun shone into the room. an indescribable feeling of quietness had taken possession of him, and he felt that life was good as it was, yes, better to-day than usual, for his soul felt at home again after a long excursion. he dressed himself and went to his office, opened his letters, read the newspaper, and felt quite calm all the time. but this unnatural calm began at last to make him uneasy. he felt an increasing nervousness and a feverishness over his whole body. the vacuum began to be filled again with her soul; the electric band had been stretched, and the stream cut off, but it was still there; there had only been a break in the current, and now all the recollections rushed upon him, all their beautiful and great experiences, all the elevated feelings and great thoughts which they had amassed together, all the dream-world in which they had lived, so unlike the present world of prose where they now found themselves. with a feeling of despair he betook himself to his correspondence in order to conceal his emotions, and began to answer letters with calmness, order, and clearness. offers were accepted on certain conditions, and declined on definite grounds. he went into questions of coffee and sugar, exchange prices and accounts with unusual clearness and decision. a clerk brought him a letter, which he saw at once was from her. "the messenger waits for an answer," he said. without looking up from his desk, the merchant had at once decided and replied: "he needn't wait." in that moment he had said to himself: "explanations, reproaches, accusations--how can i answer such things?" and the letter lay unopened while his business correspondence went on with stormy celerity. * * * * * when his fiancã©e had parted from him on the previous evening her first emotion had been anger--anger to think that he, the merchant, had dared to despise her. she herself belonged to an official's family and had dreamt of playing a rã´le in society. his warm and faithful affection had made her gradually forget this. since he was never weary of telling her what an ennobling influence she exercised on his life, and since she herself perceived how he became refined and beautiful under her hand, she felt herself to be a higher being. his steady veneration kindled her self-esteem and she grew and blossomed in the sunshine which his love spread around her. when that was suddenly extinguished, it grew cold and dark around her; she felt herself dwindle down to her original insignificance, shrivel and disappear. this discovery that she had been the victim of an error and that his love was the cause of her new life and the enlargement of her personality, aroused her hatred against the man who had given her such clear proof that her existence depended on him and on his love. now that he was no longer her lover, he became the tradesman whom she despised. "a fellow who sells coffee and sugar!" she said to herself, as she fell asleep, "i could change him for a better one." but when she awoke after a good night's sleep, she felt alarmed at the disgrace of being given up. a broken engagement, after two offers, would always cast a shadow over her life and make it difficult to procure another fiancã©. in a spiteful mood she sat down to write the letter, in which in a lofty, insulting tone she demanded an explanation, and at the same time asked him to come and see her. when the messenger returned with the news that there was no answer she fell in a rage, and prepared to go out. she intended to find him in his office, where she had never yet been, and before the eyes of his clerks throw his ring on the ground to show how deeply she despised him. so she went. she stood outside the door and knocked. but since no one opened or answered she entered and stood in the hall. through the glass pane of the inner door she saw her betrothed bending over the large ledger, his face intent and serious. she had never seen him at work before. and when at work every man, even the most insignificant, is imposing. sacred work, which makes a man what he is, invested his appearance with the dignity of concentrated strength, and she was seized with a feeling of respect for him which she could not throw off. just then he was inspecting in the ledger the entries of the expenses of furnishing their house. they had absorbed his savings during the ten years he had been in business, and though not petty-minded, he thought with sorrow and bitterness, how they were all thrown away. he sighed and looked up in order not to see the tell-tale figures. then, all of a sudden, he noticed behind the glass pane of the door, like a crayon drawing in a frame, a pale face and two large eyes full of an expression of pain and sympathy. he rose and stood reverently, mute in his great, virile grief, interrogative and trembling. then he saw in her looks how the lost love had returned, and with that all was said. when after a while they were walking past skeppsholm, bright with their recovered happiness, he asked: "what happened to us yesterday?" (he said "us" for he did not wish to raise the question whose fault it was.) "i don't know; i cannot explain it; but it was the most terrible experience i have had. we will never do it again!" "no! we will never do it again. and now, ebba, it is for our whole lives, you and i!" she pressed his arm, fully convinced that after this fiery trial, nothing in the world could separate them, so far as it depended on themselves. ii and they were married. but instead of hiding their happiness in their beautiful clean home, they set out on a journey among strange, indifferent, curious, and even hostile people. then they went from hotel to hotel, were stared at at tables d'hã´te, got headaches in museums, and in the evening were dumb with fatigue and put out of humour by mishaps. tom away from his work and his surroundings, the industrious man found it difficult to collect himself. when his thoughts went back to the business matters which he had left in the hands of others, he was inattentive and tiresome. they both longed for home, but were ashamed to return and to be received with ridicule. the first week they occupied the time by talking over the recollections of their engagement; during the second week they discussed the journeys of the first. they never lived in the present but in the past. when there was an interval of dullness or silence he had always comforted her with the thought that their intercourse would be easier when they had amassed a store of common memories, and had learnt to avoid each other's antipathies. meanwhile, out of consideration, they had borne with these and suppressed their own peculiarities and weaknesses as well-brought-up people usually do. this led to a feeling of restraint and being on one's guard which was exhausting; and the time had come for making important discoveries. since he possessed more self-control than she did, he was careful not to say too much, but concealed one inclination and habit after another, while she revealed all hers. as he loved her, he wished to be agreeable, and therefore learned to be silent. the result was that with all her inherited habits, peculiarities, and prejudices she had so insinuated herself into his life that he began to feel himself attenuated and annihilated. one evening the young wife was seized with a sudden desire to praise her sister, a hateful coquette, whom her husband disliked because she had tried, from selfish motives, to break their engagement. he listened to his wife in respectful silence, now and then murmuring an indistinct assent. at last his wife's praise of her sister mounted to a paean, and though he thought her affection for her relatives a fine trait in her character, he could not entirely place himself in her skin nor see with her eyes. so he took refuge in the kind of silence which is more eloquent than plain words. this silence was accompanied by a gnawing of the lips and a violent perspiration. all the words and opinions he had suppressed found mute expression in these movements of his lips--he merely "marked time" as actors say--and the breaths which were not used in forming words, he emitted through his nose. simultaneously the pores of his skin opened as so many safety-valves for his suppressed emotions, and it became really unpleasant to have him at the table. the young wife did not conceal her annoyance, for she feared no revenge. she made an ugly gesture, which always ill becomes a woman; she held her nose with both fingers, looking around to those present as if to ask whether she was not right! her husband became pale, rose, and went out. several people were sitting close by who witnessed the unpleasant scene. when he came out on the streets of the foreign town, he unbuttoned his waistcoat and breathed freely. and then his thoughts took their own course ruthlessly. "i am becoming a hypocrite simply out of consideration for her. one lie is piled up on another, and some day it will all come down with a crash. what a coarse woman she is! and it was from her that i believed i should learn and be refined into a higher being. it is all optical delusion and deceit. all this 'love' is merely a piece of trickery on the part of nature to dazzle one's sight." he tried to picture to himself what was now happening in the dining-room. she would naturally weep and appeal with her eyes to those present as if to ask whether she was not very unfortunate with such a husband. it was indeed her habit so to appeal with her eyes, and when he expected an answer from her, she always turned her looks on those around as if asking for help against her oppressor. he was always treated as a tyrant, although out of pure kindness he had made himself her slave. there was no help for it! he found himself down by the harbour, and caught sight of the swimming-baths--that was just what he wanted. quickly he plunged into the sea, and swam far out into the darkness. his soul, tortured by mosquito-stings and nettle-pricks, was able to cool itself, and he felt how he left a wake of dirt behind him. he lay on his back and gazed at the starry sky, but at the same moment heard a whistling and splashing behind him. it was a great steamer coming in, and he had to get out of the way to save his life. he made for the lamp-lit shore and saw the hotel with all its lights. when he had dressed, he felt an unmeasured sorrow--sorrow over his lost paradise. at the same time all bitterness had passed away. in this mood he entered his room and found his wife seated at the writing-table. she rose and threw herself into his arms without a word of apology; naturally enough he did not desire it, and she had no idea of having done wrong. they sat down and wept together over their vanished love, for that it had gone there was no doubt. but it had gone without their will, and they sorrowed over it, as over some dear friend which they had not killed but could not save. they were confronted by a fact before which they were helpless; love the good genius who magnifies every trifle, rejuvenates what is old, beautifies what is ugly, had abandoned them, and life stretched before them in naked monotony. but it did not occur to them that they would be separated or were separated, for their grief itself was an experience they shared, which held them together. they were also united in a common grudge against fate, which had so deceived them in their tenderest emotions. in their great dejection they were not capable of such a strong feeling as hate. they only felt resentment and indignation at fate, which was their scapegoat and lightning-conductor. they had never talked so harmoniously and so intimately before, and while their voices assumed a more affectionate tone, they formed a firm resolve to go home and commence their domestic life. he talked himself into a state of enthusiasm at the thought of home, where one could exclude all evil influences, and where peace and harmony would reign. she also dilated on the same topic with similar warmth till they had forgotten their sorrow. and when they had forgotten it, they smiled as before, and behold! love was again there, and not dead at all; its death was also a delusion and so was all their grief. iii he had realised his youthful dream of a wife and a home, and for eight days the young wife also thought that her dream had come true. but on the ninth day she wanted to go out. "where?" he asked. "say, yourself!" no, she must say. he proposed the opera, but wagner was being performed there, and she could not bear him. the theatre? no, there they had maeterlinck, and that was silly. he did not wish to go to an operetta, for they always ridiculed what he now regarded as sacred. nor did he like the circus, where there were only horses and queer women. so the discussion went on and they privately discovered a great quantity of divergences in tastes and principles. in order to please her, he proposed an operetta, but she would not accept the sacrifice. he suggested that they should give a party, but then they discovered that there was no one to invite, for they had separated from their friends, and their friends from them. so they sat there, still in harmony, and considered their destiny together, without having yet begun to blame each other. they stayed at home, and felt bored. next day, the same scene was repeated. he now saw that his happiness was at stake; therefore he took courage, and said in a friendly way but decidedly, "dress yourself and we will go to an operetta." she beamed, put on her new dress, and was quickly ready. when he saw her so happy and pretty, he felt a stab in his heart, and thought to himself, "now she brightens up, when she can dress for others and not for me." when he then conducted her to the theatre, he felt as though he were escorting a stranger, for her thoughts were already in the auditorium, which was her stage, where she wished to appear, and where she could now appear under her husband's escort without being insulted. since they could already divine each other's thoughts, this alienation, while they were on the way, changed into something like hostility. they longed to be in the theatre in order to find something to divert their emotions, though he felt as though he were going to an execution. when they came to the ticket-office there were no tickets left. then her face changed, and when she looked at him, and thought she saw an expression of satisfaction, which possibly was latent there, she broke out, "that pleases you?" he wished to deny it, but could not, for it was true. on the way home he felt as though he were dragging a corpse with him, and that a hostile one. the fact that she had discovered his very natural thought, which he had self-denyingly repressed, hurt him like a rudeness for one has no right to punish the thoughts of another. he would have borne it more easily if there had been no tickets left, for he was already accustomed to be a scapegoat. but now he lamented over his lost happiness, and that he had not the power to amuse her. when she observed that he was not angry, but only sad, she despised him. they came home in ominous silence; she went straight to her bedroom and shut the door. he sat down in the dining-room, where he lit the lamps and candles, for the darkness seemed to be closing round him. then he heard a cry from the bedroom, the cry of a child, but of a grown one. when he came in he saw a sight which tore his heart. she was on her knees, her hands stretched towards him, wailing as she wept, "don't be angry with me, don't be hard; you put out the light round me, you stifle me with your severity; i am a child that trusts life and must have sunshine." he could find no answer, for she seemed sincere. and he could not defend himself, for that meant arraigning her thoughts, which he also could not do. dumb with despair, he went into his room and felt crushed. he had pillaged her youth, shut her up, torn out her joy by the roots. he had not the light which this tender flower needed, and she withered under his hand. these self-reproaches broke down all the self-confidence he had hitherto possessed; he felt unworthy of her love, or of any woman's, and felt himself a murderer who had killed her happiness. after he had suffered all these pangs of conscience he began to examine himself calmly and with sober common sense. "what have i done?" he asked himself. "what have i done to her? all the good that i could; i have done her will in everything. i did not wish to go out in the evening, when i had come home after the work of the day, and i did not wish to see an operetta. an operetta was formerly a matter of indifference to me, but now it is distasteful, since through my love for her i have entered another sphere of emotion which i do not hesitate to call a higher one. how foolish of me! i had the idea that she would draw me out of the mire, but she draws me down; she has drawn me down the whole time. then it is not she but my love which draws upward, for there is a higher and a lower. yes, the sage was right who said, 'men marry to have a home to come to to, women marry to have a home to go out of.' home is not for the woman but for the man and the child. all women complain of being shut up at home, and so does mine, although she goes about the whole morning paying visits, and haunting cafã©s and shops." he began to work his way out of this slough of despond, and found himself on the side where the fault was not. but again he saw the heart-rending spectacle of his young wife on her knees begging him, with outstretched hands, not to kill her youth and brightness with his severity. since it was foreign to his nature to act a part, he felt sure that she was not doing so, and felt again like a criminal, so that he was tempted to commit suicide, for the mere fact of his existence crushed her happiness. but again his sense of justice was aroused, for he had no right to take the blame on himself when he did not deserve it. he was not hard but he was serious, and it was just his seriousness which had made the deepest impression on the young girl and decided her to prefer him to other frivolous young men. he had not wished to kill her joy; on the contrary he had done everything in his power to procure for her the quiet joys of domesticity; he had not even wished to deny her the ambiguous pleasure of the operetta, but had sacrificed himself and accompanied her thither. what she had said was therefore simply nonsense. and yet her grief had been so deep and sincere. what was the meaning of it? then came the answer. it was the girl's leave-taking of youth--which was inevitable. it was therefore as natural as it was beautiful--this outbreak of despair at the brevity of spring. but he was not to blame for it, and if his wife perhaps in a year was to become a mother, it was now the right time to bid farewell to girlish joys in order to prepare for the higher joys of maternity. he had, therefore, nothing to reproach himself with, and yet he did reproach himself with everything. with a quick resolve, he shook off his depression and went to his wife, firmly determining not to say a word in his defence, for that meant extinguishing her love, but simply to invite her to reconciliation without a reckoning. he found his wife on the point of being weary of solitude, and she would have welcomed the society of anyone, even that of her husband, rather than be quite alone. then they came to an agreement to give a party and to invite his friends and hers, who would be sure to come. this evening their need for domestic peace and comfort was so mutual that they agreed, without any difficulty, who should be invited and who not. they closed the day by drinking a bottle of champagne. the sparkling drink loosened her tongue and now she took the opportunity to make him gentle and jesting reproaches for his egotism and discourtesy towards his wife. she looked so pretty as she raised herself on tiptoe above him, and she seemed so much greater and nobler when she had rolled all her faults upon him, that he thought it a pity to pull her down, and therefore went to sleep laden with all the defects and shortcomings which he had taken on himself. when he awoke the next morning he lay still in order to think over the events of the past evening. and now he despised himself for having kept silence and refrained from defending himself. now he perceived how the whole of their life together was built upon his silence and the suppression of his personality. for if he had spoken yesterday, she would have gone--she always threatened to go to her mother when he "ill-treated" her, and she called it "ill-treatment" every time that he was tired of making himself out worse than he was. here they were building on falsity, and the building would collapse some day when he ventured on a criticism or personal remark regarding her. reverence, worship, blind obedience--that was the price of her love--he must either pay it, or go without it. the party took place. the husband, as a good host, did all he could to efface himself and bring his wife into prominence. his friends, who were gentlemen, behaved to her in their turn with all the courtesy which they felt was due to a young wife. after supper music was proposed. there was a piano in the house, but the wife could not play, and the husband did not want to. a young doctor undertook the task, and since he had to choose his own programme, he had resort to his favourite, wagner. the mistress of the house did not know what he was playing but did not like the deep seriousness of it. when at last the thunder ceased, her husband sat uneasily there, for he could surmise what was coming. as a ladylike hostess, she had to say something. she thought a simple "thanks" insufficient, and asked what the music was. then it came out--wagner! her husband felt the look which he feared, which told him that he was a traitor who perhaps had wished to entice her to praise in ignorance "the worst music which she knew." during the time of their engagement she had certainly listened attentively to her fiance's long speeches in defence of wagner, but immediately after their marriage, she had declared openly that she could not bear him. therefore her husband had never played to her, and she feigned not to know that he could play. but now she felt insidiously surprised, and her husband received the beforementioned look which told him what he had to expect. the guests had gone, and husband and wife sat there alone. in his father's house he had learnt never to speak anything but good of departed guests, but rather to be silent. she had also heard something of the kind, but here she felt no need of restraint. so now she began to criticise his friends; they were, to put it briefly, tedious. he gnawed his cigar in silence, for to dispute about likings and taste in this case would be unreasonable. but she also considered them discourteous. she had been told that young men should say pleasant things. "did they venture to say anything unpleasant?" he asked, feeling uneasy lest anyone should have forgotten himself. "no, not exactly." then came a shower of petty criticisms; someone's tie was not straight, another had too long a nose, another drawled, and then, "the fellow who played wagner!" "you are not kind," said her husband with a lame attempt to defend his friends. "yes! and the friends you trust in! you should only have heard and seen the words and looks which i heard and saw. they are false to you." he continued to smoke and kept silence, but he thought how low he had sunk to deny his old and tried friends; how despicable it was to plead for forgiveness with his eyes for the performance of wagner. his thoughts ran parallel with her loud chatter, and he spoke them in silence. "you despise my friends because they do not court their friend's wife, do not pay her little compliments on her figure and dress; and you hate them because you feel how my strength grows in the circle of their sympathies for me. you hate them as you hate me, and would hate anyone else who was your husband." she must have felt the effect of these thoughts, for her volubility slackened, and when he cast a glance at her, she seemed to have shrunk together. immediately afterwards she rose, on the pretext that she felt freezing. as a matter of fact, she was trembling and had red flames on her cheeks. that night he observed for the first time that he had at his side an ugly old woman who had enamelled her face with bright cosmetics and plaited her hair like a peasant woman. she did not bother herself to appear at her best before him but was already free and easy and cynical enough to make herself repugnant by disclosing the unbeautiful secrets of the toilet. then for a moment he was released from his enchantment, and continued to think of flight till sleep had pity on him. a couple of weeks passed in dull silence. he could not get rid of the thought that it was a pity about her, and when she was bored, it was his fault for the moment, because he was her husband--for the moment. to seek for others' society was now no longer possible, since his friends had been rejected, and she had no more pleasure in her own. they tried to go out each his own way but always returned home. "you find it hard to be away from me, in spite of all!" she said. "and you?" he answered. she remained compliant and indifferent, no longer angry, so that they could talk, i.e. he ventured to answer. "my jailor!" she said on one occasion. "who is in jail, you or i?" he answered. when they perceived that they were each other's prisoners, they smiled at the relationship and began to examine the witchcraft of which they were victims. they went back in memory and lived over again the engagement period and their wedding journey. consequently they lived always in the past, never in the present. then came the great moment he had waited for as a liberation--the announcement of her expecting to be a mother. her longings would now have an object, and she would look forward instead of backward. but even here he had miscalculated. now she was angry with him, for her beauty would wither away, and it was no use his trying to comfort her by saying she would get up rejuvenated with recovered beauty, and that the crowning happiness awaited her. she treated him like a murderer, and could not look at him for his mere scent aroused her dislike. in order to obtain light on the matter, he asked their doctor. the latter laughed and explained to him that in such cases women always thought they smelt something;--this was either pure imagination or a physical perversion of the olfactory nerve. when at last this stage was over, a certain calm succeeded which he was short-sighted enough to enjoy. since he was now sure of having his wife in the house he perhaps showed that he was happy and thankful for it. but he should not have done so, for now she saw the matter from a new point of view. "ah! now you think you have me fast, but just wait till i am up again!" the look which accompanied the threat gave him to understand what would happen. now he began a battle with himself whether he should await the arrival of the child or go away first, in order to avoid the wrench of parting from it. since the married pair had entered into such a close relationship that one could hear the thoughts of the other, he could keep no secrets from her which she did not seize upon forthwith. "i know well enough that you contemplate deserting us and casting us on the street." "that is strange," he remarked; "it is you who have threatened the whole time to go off with the child, as soon as it came. so whatever i do is wrong; if i stay you go, and then i am both unhappy and ridiculous; if i go you are the martyr, and i am unhappy and a scoundrel to boot! that comes of having to do with women!" how they got through the nine months was to him a puzzle. the last part of the time was the most tolerable, for she had begun to love the unborn child, and love imparted to her a higher beauty than she had before. but when he told her so, she did not believe him, and when she observed that he was lulling himself to sleep with dreams of perpetual happiness by her side she broke out again, saying: "you think you have got me safe now." "my dear," he answered, "when we vowed to each other to be man and wife, i believed that i would belong to you and you to me, and i hoped that we should hold together so that the child should be born in a home, and be brought up by its father and mother." and so on _ad infinitum_. the child came, and the mother's joy was boundless. ennui had disappeared and the man breathed freely, but he should have done so more imperceptibly. for two sharp eyes saw it and two keen looks said: "you think that i am tied by the child!" on the third day the little one had lost the charm of novelty and was handed over to a nurse. then dressmakers were summoned. now he knew what was coming. from that hour he went about like a man condemned to death, waiting for his execution. he packed two travelling-bags which he hid in his wardrobe, ready to fly at the given signal. the signal was given two days after his wife got up. she had put on a dress of an extremely showy cut and of the colour called "lamp-shade." he took her out for a walk and suffered unspeakably when he saw that she whom he loved, attracted a degree of attention which he found obnoxious. even the street urchins pointed with their fingers at the overdressed lady. from that day he avoided going out with her. he stayed at home with the child, and lamented that he had a wife who made herself ridiculous. her next step to freedom was the riding-school. through the stable the doors to society were opened for her. by means of horses one made acquaintances in the upper circles. horses and dogs form the transition stage to the world from which one peers down in order to be able to discover the pedestrians on the dusty highways. the rider on horseback is six ells high instead of three, and he always looks as though he wished that those who walk should look up to him. the stable also was her means of introduction to a lieutenant who was a baron. their hearts responded to each other, and since the baron was a clean-natured man, he decidedly refused to go through the stages of guest and friend of the house. therefore they went off together, or rather, fled. her husband remained behind with the child. iv the baron jumped into the stockholm express at sã¶dertã¤lje where he had arranged to meet her. everything had been carefully arranged for them to be alone together at last, but fate had other designs. when the baron entered the railway carriage he found his beloved sitting wedged in tightly among strangers, so tightly that there was no room for him. a glance in the adjoining coupe showed him that it was full also, and he had to stand in the corridor. rage distorted his face, and when he tried to greet her with a secret and loving smile, he only showed his back teeth, which she had never seen before. to make matters worse, he had, in order not to be noticed, put on mufti. she had never seen him in this, and his spring coat looked faded, now that it was autumn. some soft summer showers in the former year had caused the cloth to pucker near the seams, so that it lay in many small wave-like folds. since it had been cut according to the latest fashion it gave him the appearance of having sloping shoulders which continued the neck down to the arms with the same ignoble outlines as those of a half-pint bottle. he perspired with rage, and a fragment of coal had settled firmly on his nose. she would like to have jumped up and with her lace handkerchief wiped away the black smut but dared not. he did not like to look at her for fear of displeasing her, and therefore remained standing in the corridor with his back towards her. when they reached katrineholm they had to dine if they did not wish to remain hungry till evening. here the man and the hero had to show himself, and stand the ordeal or he was lost. with trembling calves and puckered face he followed his lady out of the train and across the railway lines. here he fell on his knee, so that his hat slipped to the back of his head and remained sticking there like a military cap. but the position which made the latter look smart did not suit the unusual hat. in a word it was not his good day, and he had no luck. when they entered the dining-saloon, they looked as though they had quarrelled inwardly, as though they despised each other, were ashamed before each other, and mutually wished themselves apart. his nerves were entirely out of order, and he could not control a single muscle. without knowing what he was doing, he pushed her forward to the table saying, "hurry up!" the table was already surrounded by passengers, who fell on the viands in scattered order and therefore could not open their ranks. the baron made a sally and finally succeeded in seizing a plate, but as he wedged in his arm to get a fork, his hand encountered another hand which belonged to the person he least of all wished to meet just then. it was his senior officer, a major who presided at military examinations. at the same moment a whisper passed through the crowd. they were recognised! he stood there as though naked among nettles. his neck swelled so unnaturally and grew so red that his cheeks seemed to form part of it. he could not understand how people's looks could have the effect of gun-bullets. he was literally fusilladed and collapsed. his companion vanished from his mind; he could only think of the major and the military examination which might destroy his future. but she had seen and understood; she turned her back on everyone and went out. she got into the wrong coupe but it was empty. he came afterwards and they were alone at last. "that's a nice business, isn't it?" he hissed, striking his forehead. "to think of my letting myself be enticed into such an adventure! and the major too! now my career is at an end!" that was the theme which was enlarged on with variations till linkã¶ping. hunger and thirst both contributed their part to it. it was terrible. after linkã¶ping they both felt that the mutual reproaches they had hitherto held back must find a vent. but just at the right moment they remembered her husband and attacked him. it was his fault; he was the tyrant, the idiot of course, "a fellow who played wagner," a devil. it was he who had given the major a hint, no doubt. "yes, i believe you," said she with the firmest conviction. "do you? i know it," answered the baron. "they meet on the stock exchange, where they speculate in shares together. and do you know what i begin to suspect? your husband, the 'wretch' as we call him, has never loved you." the wife considered a moment. whether it was that her husband's love was indubitable, or that it was necessary to suppose that he loved her, if she was to have the honour of having made a fool of him--enough, he must have loved her, since she was so lovable. "no! now you are unjust," she ventured to say. she felt herself somewhat elevated by being able to speak a good word of an enemy, but the baron took it as a reproach against himself and recommenced. "he loved you? he who shut you up and would not accompany you to the riding-school! he----" the safety-conductor seemed used up, and threatened to deflect the lightning to one side in a dangerous way. so they took up a new thread of conversation--the question of food. since this could not be settled before naujã¶, which was still half a day distant, they soon dropped it again. in her extremity, and carried away by a torrent of thoughts and emotions which she could not resist, she hazarded a conjecture as to how her child was. to this his answer was a yawn which split his face like a red apple to the uvula where some dark molars resembled the core of it. gradually he let himself slide down into a reclining attitude on the sofa, but remembering that he ought to make some apology for his unseemly behaviour, he yawned and said: "excuse me, but i am so sleepy." immediately afterwards he went to sleep, and after a time he snored. since she was no longer under the influence of his looks and words, she could reflect quietly again, see who her travelling companion was, and began, involuntarily, to institute comparisons. her husband had never behaved like this; he was refined compared with the baron, and was always well-dressed. the baron, who had drunk much punch the day before, began now to perspire and smelt of vinegar. besides that, he always had a stable-like smell about him. she went out into the corridor, opened a window, and as though released from enchantment, she saw the whole extent of her loss and the terrible nature of her position. as the spring landscape swept past, a little lake with willows and a cottage, she remembered vividly how she had dreamt of a summer holiday with the child. then she broke into weeping, and tried to throw herself out but was held back. she remained standing a long time, and stamped with her feet as though she wished to stop the train and make it go backwards. all the time she heard his snoring, like grunts from a pigsty at feeding-time. and for this ... creature, she had left a good home, a beautiful child, and a husband. the snoring ceased, and the baron began to employ his recuperated thinking faculties in considering the situation and settling his future. he did not know how to be sad; instead of that he became angry. when he saw her holding her handkerchief to her eyes, he got in a rage, and took it as a personal reproach. but quarrelling was tedious and unpleasant; therefore assuming a light tone, and caressing her as one might a horse, he clicked with his tongue and said: "cheer up, maja!" two such opposite moods, in colliding, cut each other and each fell on its own side of the knife. a dead silence was the result. they were no longer one person, but two, irrevocably two, who did not belong together. yet another half-day in wretchedness and boredom; a night with changes of train in the darkness, and at last they were in copenhagen. there they were unknown and had no need to feel embarrassed. but when they entered the dining-saloon, she began to pass the "searchlight" of her looks, as he called it, over all those present, so that when the baron looked at her he never saw her eye except in profile. at last he became angry and kicked her shin under the table. then she turned away and appealed with her eyes to the company. she could not look at him--so hateful did he seem to her. upstairs in their room the corks were drawn out. they reached the stage of recriminations. his spoilt career was her fault ... she had lost her child and home through him. so it went on till past midnight when sleep had mercy on them. then next morning they sat at the breakfast-table, silent and ghastly to look at. she remembered her honeymoon journey and very much the same situation. they had nothing to say to each other, and he was as tedious as her husband had been. they kept silence and were ashamed of being in each other's presence. they were conscious of their mutual hatred, and poisoned each other with nerve-poison. at last the deliverer came. the waiter approached with a telegram for the baron, who opened and read it at a glance. he seemed to consider, cast a calculating glance at his enemy, and after a pause said: "i am recalled by the commanding officer." "and mean to leave me here?" he changed his resolve in a second: "no, we will travel back together." a plan suggested itself and he told her of it. "we will sail across to landskrona; there no one knows you, and you can wait for me." the idea of sailing had a smack of the adventurous and heroic about it, and this trifle outweighed all other considerations. she was kindled, kindled him, and they packed at once. the prospect of leaving her, for however short a time, restored his courage. accordingly, some hours later, he took his seat in a hired sailing-boat with his beloved by the foresail and put off from lange linie like a sea-robber with his bride, blustering, ostentatious and gorgeous. in order to conceal his plan he had only spoken to the owner of the boat of a pleasure-trip in the sound. his intention was to telegraph from landskrona and send the money due for the boat and have the boat itself towed by a steamer. as they were putting off from shore, the boat owner stood near and watched them. but when he saw that they were directing their course to the island hven, he put his hands to his mouth and shouted: "don't go too near hven," and something else which was carried away by the wind. "why not hven?" asked the baron aloud. "the shore is steep, so that there are no rocks under water." "yes, but if he tells us so, he must have had some reason for it," she objected. "don't talk nonsense! look after the foresail!" the wind blew a light gale on the open sea, and since there was a considerable distance between the foresail and the stern there was no need for conversation, much to the baron's relief. their course was directed towards the south-east corner of hven, though at first not noticeably so. but when she at last saw whither they were going, she called out: "don't steer for hven!" "hold your----!" answered the baron and tacked. after an hour's good run they had come abreast of the white island and a light pressure on the rudder turned the boat's prow towards landskrona, which appeared in the north. "saved!" cried the steersman and lit a cigar. at the same instant a little steamer put out from hven and made straight for the sailing-boat. "what is that steamer?" she asked. "it is a custom-house boat," answered the baron who was at home on the sea. but now the steamer hoisted a yellow flag and whistled. "that has nothing to do with us," said the baron, and kept on his course. but the steamer took a sweep round, signalled with the flag, and let off several short, sharp whistles like cries of distress, increasing speed at the same time. then the baron jumped up wildly at the stern as though he intended plunging into the sea. he remembered the outbreak of cholera at hamburg and cried: "it is the quarantine! three days! we are lost!" the next moment he sat down again in his place, hauling taut the main-sheet and drifting before the wind, straight towards the sound. the chase began, but soon the steamer stood athwart the bow of the sailing-boat, which was captured. the whole carefully-thought-out device of the baron to avoid the gaze of curious eyes was defeated, and as their sailing-boat was towed into the harbour of hven, the unhappy pair were saluted from the bridge by hundreds of their fellow-countrymen with derisive applause and peals of laughter, though the latter did not know whom they were applauding. but the chagrin of the captured pair was greater than the others guessed, for they believed that people were ridiculing their unfortunate love affair. to make matters worse the baron had unpardonably insulted the quarantine doctor by upbraiding him on board the steamer. therefore no special consideration was shown them, but they were treated like all others who come from a cholera-infected port. since their incognito was bound to be seen through sooner or later, they went about in perpetual fear of discovery. full of suspicion, they believed every other hour that they were recognised. no one would have the patience to read the story of the torture of those three days. so much is known, that the first day she spent in weeping for her child, while he walked about the island. the second day she enlarged upon the excellent qualities of her husband as contrasted with the execrable ones of her lover. on the third day she cursed him for having taken her away, and when she ended by calling him an idiot for not having obeyed her own and the boat-owner's advice to avoid hven, he gave her a box on the ear.... on the fourth day when they were really discovered, and newspapers arrived with the whole story, they went into a crevice in the rocks to hide their shame. when at last two steamers came to fetch the unfortunates, each went on board a different one. and after that day they never saw nor knew each other again. * * * * * it was nearly midnight when the reading was ended. an interval of silence followed, but the postmaster felt he must say something. "one generally says 'thanks'!" he remarked. "meanwhile, after you have said all, there is not much to add: i will only ask myself, you, and everyone a general question: 'what is love?'" "what is love? answer: 'i don't know.' love has been called a piece of roguery on the part of nature. i don't believe that, for i know that nature has neither made itself nor can it think out pieces of roguery. but if we accept that proposition, we descend to zoology, and that i do not wish to do. i do not share the theoretical veneration for woman which my contemporaries cherish; on the other hand, i instinctively place her higher than ourselves. she seems to me to be formed out of finer material than we men, but i may be wrong, for she seems to be furnished with more animal functions than we are. if i were a theosophist, i should believe she was only a kind of intermediary chrysalis stage on the way to man, only a temporary manifestation, out of which love, i.e. man's love, creates in, her possibilities of being and seeming. when he finds this really lifeless form of existence and breathes his immortal breath into it, he shares the creator's joy on the seventh day. the process of refining, which his coarser substance hindered him bringing about in his own soul, he brings about in hers, and through reaction--no! it is too difficult for me to explain; it is like dividing an angle into three equal parts. anyhow, the fact is certain, and my story is an illustration of it, that when a man is deceived in his love as he always is, his whole being revolts against the government of the world, which seems to him to have condescended to mock at his holiest possession, the holiest thing in all creation. if providence is consonant with such deceit and such coarse jesting then he discovers a devil where he thought he had seen a good angel. after that what shall he trust, what shall he value, at what shall he not make a grimace? and when after marriage the veil falls, and like adam and eve they are naked and ashamed, then even the most unbelieving is conscious of something resembling the fall. then comes a fresh error and they think they have deceived each other, which they have not done. so they scourge each other for crimes which neither has committed. a second deception follows the first." they were again silent. then the postmaster gave the conversation another turn and descended to the earth. "you can guess that i, at any rate, recognise the lady of your story. she lives in her own little house, here on the island by the shore." "yes she does! i know her, and i was quarantine doctor at hven when she was captured. now that she is elderly she has renewed her acquaintance with me, and it is from her own mouth that i heard the story. she has been in love countless times, and declares that every time she believed she had found the right man who had been predestined for her from the foundation of the world." "does not reason feel its helplessness before such riddles, riddles of every day?" "yes and therefore ... yes, next saturday you shall hear another story, and i think we shall approach the riddle a little more closely, i.e. we shall find its insolubility more strongly proved." "i shall be glad to hear it. but why don't you have your stories printed?" "because i have been a doctor, and a woman's doctor. i have no right to reveal what i have heard in my official capacity. sometimes i should like to be a writer with a prescriptive right to find material for his art in men's lives and destinies; but that is a calling and a task which is denied to me." "very well; good night till next saturday." when saturday evening came round, the two old men sat in the corner room with their toddy and tobacco and a large pile of manuscript on the table. the postmaster looked a little nervously at it, as a child might at a family book of sermons. "we can give two evenings to it," said the doctor soothingly. "ah no! we have the whole evening before us and to-morrow is sunday. fire ahead! we will have an interval for refreshments." the doctor began to read at six o'clock and had finished when it struck eleven. the doctor's second story i he had left his christiania full of bitterness because a public injustice had been done him. at forty years of age he had written the best modern drama and had invented a new form of play with a new plot which answered the expectations of the generation which was growing up. but the older generation was still alive, and spectators, actors, and critics felt that their ideals were leaving them in the lurch, and that they themselves would be involved in their fall. if the public taste took a new direction which they could not follow, they would be regarded as superannuated, and be left behind. accordingly his masterpiece had been called idiotic and had been hissed off the stage, and it had been suggested to him that he should return to america, where he had already been and left his wife, from whom he was separated. but, instead of going to america, he went to copenhagen. in the centre of the city he set up a restaurant where he foregathered with swedes and finns. after some months' delay he succeeded in getting his drama performed at a copenhagen theatre. it was decidedly successful and his reputation was saved. he had felt that he had done with life, but now he began to wake up and to look about him. but when he did enter into life again, he did so with dull resignation and an almost fatalistic spirit which found expression in his favourite motto: "prepared for everything!" his dramatic success resulted in his receiving social invitations. one evening he went to a soiree at a distinguished author's, round whom the younger stars in art and literature were accustomed to gather. the supper was long and brilliant, but several unoccupied places were waiting for guests who should arrive after the theatres had closed. at half-past ten there was a stir in the company, for the expected guests came--three ladies and three men all unknown to the norwegian. but one of the three ladies greeted him as an acquaintance and reached the stranger her hand. immediately afterwards he asked the hostess in a whisper who it was. "who is it? miss x---of course! you talked with her at doctor e----'s supper." "really! it is strange that with my good memory i cannot recall her appearance. one evening lately, in a well-lit theatre lobby, i passed her without a greeting." "of course you don't see that she is pretty." "is she?" he leant forward to look at the young lady who had taken her seat far down the table. "yes she doesn't look bad." "fie! fie! she is a celebrated beauty of the best copenhagen type." "oh! formerly i only admired blondes but latterly have confined my admiration to brunettes." then they talked of something else. after supper the company gathered in the drawing-room and the beautiful dane and the norwegian sat so close together that he put her cup down for her. when she asked who would escort her home, he answered: "i of course," and his escort was accepted. when at last the company broke up, he and she found themselves in the same mysterious way so deep in conversation that a group of ladies and gentlemen formed a circle round them with a mischievous air to watch them. the pair, however, did not observe this, but continued to talk. as they went down the steps they heard a "good night!" and a ringing laugh overhead from the young and charming hostess who was leaning over the balcony-railing. they went along the shore, and past the bridges, continuing their conversation without a pause. when they came to x---street she invited him to supper the following evening to meet a young female artist. but she prepared him to find her surroundings very simple, as she was staying in a pension kept by a strict old lady. then they parted as though they had been old acquaintances and colleagues. as he walked home alone through the night, and tried to recall the events of the evening to his mind, he noticed again the curious fact that he could not remember her appearance. yet as a former reporter, he had been so accustomed to photograph people and scenes, landscapes and interiors with his eye that he could not understand it. moreover, he observed that she was quite a different person this evening to what she had been the first time they met. there was now no trace of "independence" about her, only a mild yieldingness, a certain melancholy, which became her well and aroused sympathy. when they talked of the unfortunate fate of a certain person, there were tears in her voice. it was the voice which he remembered more than anything else about her--somewhat deep and melancholy with a slight accent which carried one far away from the great town and awoke memories of wood and sea, the sounds of nature, shepherds' huts, and hay-rakes. he now recollected how they had really treated her like a child the previous evening, had teased her about her writings, and asked her for recommendations, at which she had only smiled. she also had the unfortunate habit of letting fall naive expressions, which were really seriously meant, but sometimes had a repellent effect. the only one who had taken her seriously was himself, the foreigner. and he had seen that she was no child but a woman with whom he could speak of men and books and all that interested him, without once having to explain his remarks. when he awoke the next morning, he tried to call to his mind the events and persons of the previous day. it was his habit, when he made a new acquaintance, to seek in his memory for the "corresponding number," as he called it, in order to get a clear idea of his character; i.e. he thought which of his old friends most nearly resembled the person in question. this psychical operation was often performed involuntarily, i.e. when he tried to call up the image of his new acquaintance, the figure of an old one rose up in his mind and more or less obliterated the latter. when he now recalled his yesterday's memories of miss x---he saw her with an elderly married cousin, to whom he had always felt indifferent. this suppressed any sentimental feeling, if any were present, and he only thought of her as a kindly woman-friend. accordingly, in the evening, he felt perfectly calm and without a trace of that embarrassment which one sometimes feels in attempting to make oneself agreeable to a young lady. he was received with perfect frankness as an old acquaintance and led into a lady's boudoir elegantly furnished with a well-appointed writing-table, flower-plants, family portraits, carpets, and comfortable chairs. since the lady painter had been prevented coming, he had to be content with a _tãªte-ã -tãªte_, and this somewhat jarred on his sense of propriety. but his hostess's simple and unaffected manner caused him to suppress some remarks which might have hurt her feelings. so they sat opposite each other and talked. her black silk dress had blue insets and was cut in the "empire style," with dark lace trimmings which hung from her shoulders like a sleigh-net. this gave her a somewhat matronly appearance, and when he noticed her tone like that of an experienced woman of the world, he thought for a moment: "she is divorced!" her face, which he could now examine in full light, showed a flat forehead which looked as though it had been hammered smooth and betokened a determined will without obstinacy. the eyes were large and well-defined as with southerners. the nose seemed to have altered its mind while growing, for it took a little bend in the middle and became roman by degrees. this little unexpected "joy-ful surprise" lent a cameo-like charm to her profile. their conversation was still more lively this evening, for they had already amassed a small store of common experiences to discuss, acquaintances to analyse, and ideas to test. they sat there and cut out silhouettes of their friends, and as neither of them wished to seem spiteful, they cut them in handsome shapes, and not with pointed scissors. during this innocent interchange of thought, he had glanced at a very large flower-basket full of splendid roses. she had divined his thoughts, and just as a servant brought in a bottle of wine and cigarettes, she got up and went towards the roses. ("she is engaged!" he thought and felt himself superfluous.) "i was given these by a friend on his departure," she said. but in order to show that she was not engaged she broke off a stem carelessly. it was fastened with wire, and she had to look for her scissors. as these were in her work-basket on the lowest shelf of her work-table, she knelt down and remained kneeling. she remained in that attitude while she fastened two of the finest roses in his buttonhole, and she only needed to stretch out an arm to reach a glass of wine and drink to his health. "'roses and wine!' i have used that as a refrain for a ballad," he said. he thought the situation somewhat strange but insignificant in itself. "oh! do repeat the ballad!" he had forgotten it. she rose up and sat on her chair, and he persuaded her to tell him something of her life. she had early left her parents, who lived separated without being divorced, for they were catholics. she had been educated in convent-schools in london, paris, italy, and elsewhere. in paris especially, when with english ladies, she had been bothered with religion, but had finally thrown it all overboard. she certainly felt an emptiness without it, but expected, like everyone else, that some new substitute was coming into the world. meanwhile, like her contemporaries, she devoted her energies to the deliverance of humanity from pauperism and oppression. she had superficially studied nietzsche among others and laid him aside again after finding in him a slight corrective to over-strained expectations of universal equality. while she was talking, he noticed that light fell through a curtain behind her back, which screened a door apparently leading into the interior of the house. like lightning the thought struck him that he might be the object of a joke, and was to be surprised in the ridiculous position of a woman-worshipper. or perhaps it was only for propriety's sake that communication was kept open with the main building. this wholesome doubt kept their conversation free from all tincture of flirtation, and when supper was served he reproached himself for having suspected his hostess of evil purposes or a want of trust in him. about half-past eight he was about to go, but she only needed to express a suspicion that he was longing for the cafã© to make him remain. about half-past nine o'clock he was going again but was kept back. "but," he remonstrated, "it is my part as the elder and more prudent to spare you any unpleasantness." she understood nothing, but declared that she was independent and that the lady who kept the pension was accustomed to her suppers. at last his instinct told him that it was a mistake to stay longer; he rose and took his leave. on his way home, he said to himself, "no, people are not so simple, and cannot be labelled by formulas, for i don't comprehend an atom of this evening or of this woman." the next time they met it was in a museum. her outer dress made her look like a young married woman of thirty or more. her mouth had a tired expression and had fine little wrinkles near it, as is the case with those who laugh often. but she was melancholy, hinted at having had a breach with her father, and spoke of taking her departure shortly. she inquired regarding her friend's relations to theatres and publishers, and offered to help him with advice and influence. to-day she was mere motherly tenderness, and a certain carelessness in her toilet suggested that she did not want to please as a woman. but when she proposed that they should go to the theatre together he declined, from a feeling that he ought not to compromise her, nor expose himself to danger, for his precarious pecuniary position did not permit him to think of a love affair. he proposed to her instead that they should go for a stroll together, and she suggested that he should escort her from her new lodging, for she had changed her rooms. ("they have given her notice at the pension, because of me," he thought, but said nothing.) by this time his curiosity as an author was aroused, and he wished to learn the riddle of this woman, for he had never seen any other change their appearance as she did. when in the evening he rang at her door, he was shown into a side room and asked to wait. when she was dressed he was let out into the front hall, where they met. this, then, was a new order of things. they went westward by an empty street which led to the zoological gardens, and entered a restaurant which she seemed to know well. in her fur jacket and with a kerchief on her head she looked in the dark like an old woman, and as she stooped somewhat, she seemed to have something witchlike about her. but when they entered the well-lit restaurant, and she laid aside kerchief and jacket she stood revealed all at once in her youthful beauty. a moss-green, tightly fitting dress showed the figure of a girl of eighteen, and with her hair brushed smooth, she looked like an overgrown schoolgirl. he could not conceal his astonishment at this witchery, and looked her all over as though he were seeking a concealed enemy with a searchlight. ("eros! now i am lost!" he thought. and from that moment he was indeed.) she saw quite well the effect she had produced, and seemed to glisten there in a sort of phosphorescent light, sure of victory, with a triumphant expression round her mouth, for she saw that he was conquered. he felt a sudden fear. she had his soul in her pocket, and could cast it into the river or into the gutter; therefore he hated her at the same time. he saw that his only chance of safety lay in awakening a reciprocal flame in her, so that she might be as closely bound to him as he was to her. with this half-conscious purpose, he did what every man in his place would have done--insinuated himself into her confidence, made himself as little as a child and aroused her sympathy, the sympathy of a woman for a lacerated and damned soul which has no more hope of happiness. she listened to him and received his confidence as a tribute, with calm majestic motherliness, without a trace of coquetry or pleasure at hearing of another's misfortune. when at last, after eating a cold supper, they were about to go, he rose to look up a train in a railway guide. when he returned to the table and wished to pay the bill, the waiter informed him that it had already been paid by the lady! then he flared up, and wrongly suspecting that she thought he had no money, demanded that at any rate he should pay for himself. "i don't know the customs of your country," he said, "but in mine a man who lets a lady pay for him is dishonoured." "you were my guest," she answered. "no, we went out together, and we cannot come here again. don't you know what kind of a reputation you will give me, and by what a hateful name this waiter may call me?" when he recalled the waiter to make good the mistake, there was another scene, so that he rose angrily and laid his share on the table. she was sad, but would not acknowledge herself in the wrong. they were both out of humour, and he noticed that she was thoughtless, just as thoughtless as when she invited a gentleman alone to her room so late in the evening. or was it an expression of feminine independence demanding to be treated exactly like a man in spite of propriety and prejudice? perhaps it was the latter, but he fell it to be a piece of presumption, and was angry. there threatened to be an uncomfortable silence between them as they walked home, but she put out her hand and said in a kind, confidential voice: "don't be cross." "no i am not that, but, but ... never do it again." they parted as friends, and he hurried to the cafã©. he had not been there for a long time, partly through a certain dislike to the tone prevailing there, which no longer harmonised with his present mood, and partly because he had promised his friend to be moderate. he found the usual company, but felt somewhat out of place, and made a clear resolve never to bring her there. accordingly, he soon went home and sank in meditations which were partly gloomy and partly bright. when he recollected the moment of emergence of the youthful beauty from the fur skin of the animal there seemed to him something weird and ominous about it. it was not the youthful beauty which is clothed in reflections from a paradise of innocence, but a dark, demoniac beauty which becomes a man's death, the grave of his virile will, and which leads to humiliation, ruin, and disgraceful bargaining. but it is as inevitable and unescapable as fate. the next day he was invited, together with her, to dinner at an art professor's. she then appeared in a new character, talking like a woman of the world in a confident tone, firing off smart sayings and epigrams and never at a loss for an answer. at intervals she seemed indifferent, blase, and cruel. the professor, who had just been sitting on a jury, told us that he had joined in giving a verdict of guilty against a child murderess. "i should have acquitted her," said miss x----. the professor, who belonged to the danish academy and had the entree to the court, was astonished, but did not argue with her. he construed her answer as a burst of caprice and let the matter drop. the conversation at table was somewhat forced. the norwegian, who had been invited by the lady of the house, did not feel at ease in this circle where everything revolved round the court. probably his friend had arranged this invitation with the kind intention of making him known and of investing him, who had the reputation of being half an anarchist, with an air of gentility. the discord was felt when the talk turned upon art, and the professor was in a minority of one with his opinions and academic ideals. therefore, when at dessert time his hostess asked the norwegian whether he would come to one of her receptions, where he would have the opportunity of meeting many celebrities, she received such a sharp look from her husband, that the norwegian declined the invitation decidedly. just then the scandinavians were in ill favour in the higher circles of society because a norwegian artist by his new style of painting had caused a schism in the academy. again he had let himself be enticed by his friend's thoughtlessness. she had brought him into a circle to which he did not belong and in which he was not welcome. on the other hand she seemed to notice nothing of it, but was as much at home and at her ease as before. after dinner there was music. the young beauty behaved as though her friend was not there and never looked at him at all. when the party broke up, she took leave of him as though of a stranger, and let herself be escorted home by someone else. ii it was a sunday afternoon in february. they were walking in one of the outer streets of the city towards the west, where they were sure to meet no acquaintances. finally they entered a restaurant which lay off the road. she spoke of her approaching departure, and he said he would miss her society. "come along too," she said simply and openly. "yes," he answered, "it is really all the same to me where i stay." that was an idea which seemed to drive away certain clouds. she now began to speak of berlin, the theatrical prospects there, and so on. "but," he objected, "it would be too far from my children." "your children! yes, i have often thought of them. have you their portraits with you? do let me see them!" he really had the portraits with him, and as she repeated her wish, he showed them. the two girls did not interest her much but she was delighted at the eight-year-old fair boy with the upturned look. "what a lovely child's face! isn't it a happiness to have such a child!" "to have it to-day, and lose to-morrow!" he replied. she now examined the photograph more exactly and began to compare it with the father somewhat too closely. he began to feel some of that shyness which a man feels before a woman when she assumes this rã´le. "it is you," she said, "and not you also." he asked for no explanation, and she requested that she might keep the portrait by her. they resumed the discussion of the proposed journey, but she was absent-minded and often let her looks rest on the photograph. he could not guess what was in her mind but he noticed that there was a struggle of some kind and that she was on the point of forming a resolution. he felt how a network of fine sucker-like tendrils spread from her being and wove itself into his. something fateful was impending. he felt depressed, longed for the circle of male friends whom he had abandoned, and asked her to release him from his promise not to go any more to the cafã©. "are you longing to go down _there_ again?" she said in a motherly voice. "think of your little son!" they went out silent in the dark but starlit evening. he had for the first time offered her his arm and the cape of his coat flapped loose in the wind and struck her face. "i have already dreamt this once," she said. but he gave no answer. when they came to her door, she took him by both hands, looked him in the eyes and said: "don't go to your friends." then she let her veil drop, and before he divined her intention, printed a kiss through the veil on his mouth. as he stretched out his arms to embrace her, she was already behind the door, and closed it. he stood there completely crestfallen without being able to understand how it had happened. then came the conclusion: "she loves me and has not been playing with me." but what audacity! it is true she let her veil fall, for she was modest, and fled, alarmed at what she had done. it was original, but not bold-faced; other countries, other manners! but for a man it was somewhat humiliating to receive the first sign of love and not to bestow it. yet he would never have dared to run the risk of a possible box on the ears and a scornful laugh. it was well that it had happened; now he had certainty, and that was enough. she loved him! since he was loved, he could say to himself: "i am not so bad after all if someone can look up to me and believe good of me." this awoke his self-respect, hope, and confidence. he felt himself young again, and was ready to begin a new spring. it was true that he had only shown her his good side, but his habit of suppressing his worse nature for the occasion had brought his better nature into prominence. this was the secret of the ennobling influence of real love. he played the part of the magnanimous till it became a second nature. the fact that he discovered her beauty, and was delighted with her as a woman later on was a further guarantee that the stages of their love affair had developed themselves in orderly progression, and that he had not been merely captivated by a beautiful exterior. he had indeed guessed her defects and overlooked them, for that is the duty of love, and the chief proof of its genuineness, for without forbearance with faults there is no love. he went home and wrote the inevitable letter. it ended with the words: "now the man lays his head in your lap as a sign that the good in you overcomes the evil in him, but do not misuse your power, for then you must expect the usual fate of tyrants." the next morning he sent off the letter by a messenger. ilmarinen his finnish friend stood by the head of his bed and looked mysterious. "well!" he said. "are you going to try once more?" "yes, so it appears." "and you dare to?" "if it comes to the worst, i only dare to be unhappy, and one is unhappy anyhow." "yes, yes." "it is a change at any rate, and this lonely life is no life." instead of an answer to his letter he received a telegram with a request to meet her that evening at the office of an editor who might be useful to them. in answer to this he sent a message by telegram: "i don't come till i have received an answer to my letter." again came a telegram, in which she asked to be allowed to postpone her answer till the next day. he thought the whole affair nonsensical but went to keep the appointment. she seemed as though nothing had happened; they ate their supper and discussed business. the editor was a married man, and pleasant, nor did he seem to wish his visitors to worship him. this evening, however, the norwegian thought her ugly. she was carelessly dressed, had ink on her fingers, and she talked so exclusively of business that she lost all her ideal aspect. he had experienced much in his life, and seen many strange people, but anyone so eccentric as this woman he had never seen. he went home with a feeling of relief, firmly resolved not to follow her to berlin, nor to link his destiny any closer with hers. the next morning he received her letter; this strengthened him still further in his resolve to withdraw. she wrote that she was one of those women who cannot love. ("what sort of a woman is that? a mere phrase!" he thought.) he believed that he loved her but he was only in love with her love. ("alexandre dumas i think!") she still desired, however, to remain his friend and asked him to meet her that day. he answered this with a farewell letter of thanks. then there rained on him telegrams and express messengers. towards evening a hotel waiter entered his room and announced that a lady in a carriage was waiting below to see him. at first he thought of declining to go down, but she might come to his room, and then the bond would be made fast. accordingly he went down, entered the carriage, and without reflection or saying anything they gave each other a kiss, which seemed perfectly natural. there ensued a stormy conversation which was extremely like a quarrel. she asked that he should accompany her that very night on her journey, but he gave a decided refusal. if they were seen together, to-morrow the "elopement" would be in all the newspapers. that he could not bring his conscience to agree to, both on account of her parents and his own children. he also told her that he was dependent on other people's help, and that as soon as he was known as an adventurer all these resources would dry up. "then you don't love me!" "what nonsense you talk, child." he had to laugh at her. they got out of the cab and continued their contest in a little green lane which led down to the shore. now and then he put his arm round her neck and silenced her mouth with a kiss. "i have seen that you are cracked, but i myself am half-mad, you see, and you won't get the better of me." "i will jump into the sea!" she shrieked. "very well! i will follow, and can swim." at last he got her to laugh. then they entered a cafã© in order to arrive at a final decision. now he had the upper hand and treated her like a naughty girl, and curiously enough, as soon as he had assigned this rã´le to her, she took it up and maintained it. did these two love each other now? yes, certainly, for he knew how tied he was, and she had already, as appeared later on, confessed her love in a letter to her mother, adding that he was to know nothing of it, for then she would immediately be brought under the yoke of subjection. the final decision they arrived at was that she should travel alone, and they made no promises to each other. they were to correspond and see whether they would be able to meet in the summer; when his position was more secure they would think of betrothal and marriage. they parted, and did not see each other again for a long time. he went immediately afterwards to look up his old friends in the cafã©. there in his own circle he wished to find himself again, for during this month's exclusive living with a woman, he had become loosed from his own environment, lost his foothold, and built up a common life on the shaky foundation of the temperament of a young girl, whom his passion had transformed into a mature woman. her last outbreak of anger had revealed a fury who believed that she could compel him to blind obedience. during this her face had exhibited all possible changes from the broad grin of punch to the hissing of the cat which shows its white claws. he breathed more lightly, experienced a sensation of relief, and entered the cafã© feeling as though he had left something oppressive behind him, something happily over and done with! the swede sat there, and probably the gossip regarding the norwegian's engagement had caused him to bring his lady friend with him. she was a tall fragile-looking swede who seemed to be emaciated by illness; she had a mournful, despairing sort of voice, a drawling accent and drooping eyes. as an artist, although obscure she was "emancipated" as the phrase is, but not free from the feminine vanity of being able to appear with a number of male hangers-on, whom she boasted of having made conquests of. her thoughts had long turned upon the norwegian. when they met, she found him novel and full of surprises. at the same time he brought with him the fire of his newly kindled flame. within half an hour she had neither eyes nor ears for her old friend. when at last she snapped at him, he stood up and asked her to come with him. "you can go," she answered. and he went. in less than an hour she had broken with her friend of many years and formed a tie with the norwegian who an hour and a half before had kissed his fiancã©e at parting. he asked himself how that was possible, but took no time to reflect on it. she possessed the advantage of being able to understand him completely; he was able to speak out his thoughts after a long imprisonment; he needed only to give a hint in order to be understood. she drank in the eloquence of his words, seemed to follow the sudden leaps of his thought, and probably received answers to many questions which had long occupied her mind. but she was ugly and ill-dressed, and he sometimes felt ashamed at the thought that he might be suspected of being her admirer. then he felt an unspeakable sympathy with her which she interpreted to mean that she had made a conquest of him. they went out into the town and wandered from cafã© to cafã©, continually talking. sometimes his conscience pricked him, sometimes he felt a repulsion to her, because she had been faithless to her friend. faithlessness indeed was the link which united them, and they felt as if destiny had driven them to commit the same wrong on the same evening. she had at once inquired about his engagement and he had at first given an evasive answer; but as she had continued to ask with comrade-like sympathy he had told her the whole story. but in doing so he spoke of his love, he became enthusiastic; she warmed herself at the glow and seemed to be a reflection of "the other." so the two images coincided, and the absent maiden, who should have been a barrier between them, was the one who brought them near each other. the next day they met again, and she never seemed tired of discussing his engagement. she was in a critical mood and began to express doubts whether he would be happy. but she went carefully to work, showed indulgence, and only attempted purely objective psychological analysis. she also understood how to withdraw a severe expression at the right time in order not to frighten him away. now as ill-luck would have it, he received at noon a letter from his fiancã©e which was the answer to the stormy one he had written when they parted. in her letter she only wrote of business matters, gave good advice in a superior tone, in a word was pedantic and narrow-minded. not a trace of the pretty young girl was to be found in the letter. this put him out of humour and aroused his disgust to such a degree that when he met his new friend, with a ruthless joy in destruction he proceeded to analyse his fiancã©e under the microscope. the swede was not backward with her feminine knowledge of feminine secrets to put the worst interpretation on all the details which he narrated. he had cast his lamb to the she-wolf, who tore the prey asunder while he looked on. at the beginning of april, that is three weeks later, the norwegian sat in the cafã© one afternoon with lais, as she was called, after she had become the friend of the company in general, not of anyone in particular. he sat there with a resigned air, "prepared for everything" as usual. it had been difficult to keep his engagement alive by means of the post, and it had become still more uncertain after the news had reached her father's ears and brought him to despair. he was a minister of state, lived at odense, went to court when he was in the capital, and wore twelve orders. he would rather shoot himself than be the father-in-law of a notorious nihilist. in order to put an end to the affair the old man had dictated his conditions, which were of course impossible. the norwegian must pay all his debts and give a guarantee that he would have a regular and sufficient income. since a writer of plays has nothing guaranteed, but is dependent on popular favour, the wooer considered his proposal withdrawn, and regarded himself as unfettered, and indeed he was so. moreover, thus humiliating correspondence about pecuniary matters had cooled his devotion, for love letters which were full of figures and motherly advice, practical items of information about publishers and so on, were not inspiring to read for a literary free-lance. and as the correspondence slackened, and finally ceased, he considered himself entirely free. with her usual vanity, lais had ascribed to herself the honour of having dissolved his engagement, although there was no reason for her doing so. moreover, in the last few days a circumstance had happened which was fortunate for his future. another friend of lais had arrived from the north, and as he was one of her admirers she had such assiduous court paid to her that she did not notice how the norwegian was slackening in his attentions. in order to celebrate the arrival of the newcomer, the last few days had been a continual feast, and now they were in that strange condition, when the soul is, so to speak, loosed from its bearings and utters its thoughts without distinction and without regard. lais was possessed by the not unusual idea that she was irresistible, and liked to produce the impression that all her male friends, even those who had dropped her, were dismissed admirers. now she wished to show her newly arrived friend how well she was provided with them and began to skirmish with the norwegian. since he had long cherished towards her the hate which is born of imprudently bestowed confidences, he seized the opportunity to bring about the breach without scandal, in a word to dispose of her without disgrace to either of them. under some pretext, or perhaps with a foreboding that something was about to happen, he took his leave and left the other two together. but lais pressed him to remain, probably to gain an opportunity of leaving him alone, when she went out with her friend. here, however, she had made a miscalculation. making a gesture of invitation to the new-comer, the norwegian went out after saying the last word: "now i leave you alone!" when he came out on the street, he had a certain uneasy suspicion that he had left something unfinished behind him, and had something unexpected before him. he thought he heard the hissing voice of the woman he had left. she never opened her lips, which were sharply defined, like those of a snake, when she spoke, but brought the words straight out of her throat, which was always hoarse through her sitting up at night drinking and smoking. such a voice in women he called a "porter voice" because it always reminded him of that black drink and its concomitants. such is friendship with women--either it ends in love or in hatred just like love! when he came to his hotel, the waiter handed him a local telegram. "that is what brought me home," he said to himself. his experiences had made him believe in telepathy to such a degree that he was in the habit of saying when in company and there was talk of sending for some absent person: "shall we telepath to him?" before he opened the telegram he believed he knew the contents, and when he had read, he felt as though he had done so before, and was not surprised. the telegram ran thus: "i am here; look me up at doctor ----'s. important news." he stood still for two minutes in order to form a resolution. when the waiter came he asked him to telephone to the friendly doctor, who had a private hospital of his own and enjoyed a very good reputation. the doctor came at once and explained the situation: "are you thinking of drawing back?" he asked. "no, but i must collect myself, and sleep for twelve hours, for my nerves are out of control. i will send a telegram to say that i am not well. she will not believe that, but will come herself; i beg you therefore to wait for half an hour." the telegram went off, and in half an hour steps were heard along the corridor. she entered, dressed in black and at first full of suspicion. but to be able to consult with the doctor gave her an advantage which pleased her. she said she would come next morning together, with the doctor, and then she went, after secretly imprinting a kiss on the patient's hand. "you must not play with your feelings," said the doctor who remained behind. "this woman loves you and you love her. that is as plain as a pikestaff." the norwegian lay alone all the evening and sought to find some guiding thread through all this chaos, but in vain. what a tangled thicket was the human soul! how could one bring it into order? it passed from hate to contempt over esteem and reverence and then back again with one bound sideways and two forwards. good and evil, sublime and mean, uniting treachery with deathless love, kisses and blows, insulting reproaches and boundless admiration. since he knew the human soul he had adopted it as one of his fundamental principles never to balance accounts, never to go backwards, but always forwards. when in the beginning of their acquaintance she had wished to refer to something which he had said on a previous occasion he interrupted her: "never look back! only go forwards! one talks a lot of nonsense on the spur of the moment. i have no views but only speak impromptu, and life would be very monotonous if one thought and said the same things every day. it should be something new! life is only a poem, and it is much jollier to float over the marsh than to stick one's feet in it and to feel for firm ground which is not there." this must have suited her own ideas of life, for she was immediately ready to adopt this rã´le. therefore they found each other always novel, and always full of surprises. they could not take each other too seriously, and often when one of them attacked his or her own discarded views with the other's opinions of the day before, they were obliged to laugh at their own foolishness. thus they were never clear about each other, and in really serious moments they would exclaim simultaneously: "who are you? what are you really?" and neither of them could answer. as he was on the point of falling asleep, he thought, "i shall make no resolve, for i have never seen a resolve lead to anything. the course of events may guide my destiny as it has done hitherto." the next morning she came without waiting for the doctor. she had put on a wise air, as if she understood the illness thoroughly but did not wish to descend to trifles. she took a rod out of a basket she had brought with her. "what is that?" "that is 'the easter rod'; to-day is good friday." she set up the rod at his feet, and adorned the edge of the bed with willow-branches in bloom. like a little housewife she bustled about the room, surveying and putting it in order. finally she sat down in an easy chair. "well! what is the great news?" he asked. "we must enter on an engagement, for the papers have announced it." "have they, indeed? what about the old man?" "father has resigned himself, because the matter cannot be altered; but he is not happy. now won't you congratulate me?" "you should congratulate me first, for i am the elder." "and the less intelligent." "i have the honour to congratulate you. and what a man you have got!" so they chatted, and soon came to the subject of their prospects. he dictated and she wrote. such and such plays of his accepted for the stage.... that would be a thousand pounds. "discount thirty per cent for disappointments," she said. "thirty! i also reckon ninety or a hundred per cent." "be sober! it is serious." and then they laughed. divine frivolity! to look down on the ugly earnestness of life as if all one had to do was to blow at it. the poet's light-hearted way of treating economy like poetry. "how could one bear the miseries of life, if one did not treat them as unrealities? if i took it seriously, i should have to weep the whole day, and i don't want to do that." dinner-time came; she laid the sofa-table, fed him, and was especially sparing with the wine. "you have drunk enough now, and you must promise never to go to the cafã© again, especially with thais." "lais," he corrected her, but coloured. "you know that then?" "a woman of twenty-three knows everything." glad to avoid a troublesome confession, he promised never to visit the cafã© again and kept his word, for that was the only penance he could offer for his sorry behaviour. thus they were engaged. his only social intercourse consisted in her company, while she continued to go to families which she knew, to visit theatres, and so on, for this belonged to her work as a newspaper correspondent. in case of an eventual struggle for power, she had all the advantages on her side, as she moved in an environment from which she derived moral support and fresh impulses, while he was thrown back on himself and his previous observations. they lived really like playfellows, for he never read what she wrote in the newspapers, while she had read all his writings but never referred to them. there was no consciousness shown on either side that he was a mature and well-known author and she a young critic of books and plays. they met simply as man and woman, and as her future husband he had placed himself on the same level with her, not above her. sometimes while they were together, he felt a prisoner, isolated and in her power. if he were to break with her now he would stand alone in the world, for he had got quite out of touch with his old friends and come to dislike the life of the cafã©. moreover, he felt so grown together with this woman, that he thought he would pine away if parted from her. in spite of her love she could not hide the fact that she thought she had him absolutely in her power, and sometimes she let him feel it. but then he raged like a lion in a cage, went out and sought his old friends, though he noticed he did not thrive among them and his conscience pricked him for his faithlessness. she sulked for half a day, then crept up to him, fell on her knees and was pardoned. "at bottom," he said once, "we hate each other because we love each other. we fear to lose our individualities through the assimilating force of love, and therefore we must sometimes have a breach in order to feel that i am not you, and you are not i." she agreed, but it was no remedy against the spirit of revolt, the struggle of the ego for self-justification. she loved him as a woman loves a man, for she thought him handsome, although he was ugly. he, for his part, demanded neither respect nor admiration but only a measure of trust, and a friendly demeanour. she was generally sparkling and cheerful, playful, without being teasing, yielding and gracious. once when he reflected over the various types of woman he had observed in her during the beginning of their acquaintance, he could scarcely understand how she had been able to play so many different parts. the literary independent lady with madame de staã«l's open mouth and loquacious tongue had entirely disappeared; the grand, pretentious woman of the world and the _fin-de-siã¨cle_ lady with morbid paradoxes were also both obliterated. she saw how unpretentious he was and she became like him. april came and it was high spring-time. at the same time his prospects had brightened; some of his plays had been accepted; a novel sold for a considerable sum; and one of his dramas was acted in paris. an untrue report was spread that the engaged pair had gone off together. her parents in odense were disturbed and urged on the marriage. "will you marry now?" she asked. "certainly i will," was his reply. so the matter was settled! but then came difficulties. she was a catholic and could not marry a divorced man as long as his first wife lived. in order to circumvent this difficulty he devised the plan of being married in england. and so it was settled. her sister came as a witness to the ceremony. she was married to a famous artist, was herself an authoress, and therefore understood how to value talent, even when unaccompanied with earthly goods. thus they began their wedding journey. iii it was a may morning on an island off the english coast. he had gone with her to the extreme end of a promontory where the cliff descends sheer into the sea. he wished to ask her something privately but did not dare to; therefore they stood there silently staring into the blue emptiness, seeking an object where there was none. they had stayed there six days without being able to marry because through carelessness the notice of his divorce had not been published till some months after he had obtained a decree. accordingly it bore so late a date that the time allowed for challenging it had not yet elapsed. he had exchanged telegrams with the authorities; confusion and misunderstanding caused further delay, and his fiancã©e's sister became impatient. "do you trust me?" he asked her. "yes, i believe in your honesty, but you are an unlucky creature." "and your sister?" "what is she to believe? she does not know you. she only knows that your assurances that the documents were valid, were incorrect." "she is right, but it is not my fault. what does she mean to do?" "she returns to-morrow, and i must go with her." "so then we shall be parted before we are married, and i return to life in hotels, restaurants, and night cafã©s." "no, not that," and after a pause she added: "let us jump into the sea." he put his arm round her: "have you ever seen a destiny like mine? wherever i go, i bring unhappiness and destruction with me. think! your parents!" "don't talk so! with patience we shall also get out of this." "yes, in order to fall into something else." "come! shall i blow at it?" and she blew the cloud away. there was an outbreak of divine frivolity again and they raced home through the fortifications and over the mines. in the evening the decisive telegram came, and the wedding was fixed for the next day. it took place at first at the registry office. while the oaths were being taken the bride fell into hysterical laughter which nearly rendered the whole ceremony abortive, since the registrar did not know what to make of a scene which resembled one in a lunatic asylum. it was not a brilliant wedding-party which assembled in the evening in the clergyman's house. besides the bride's sister, four strangers --pilots--were present as witnesses when they plighted their troth "before god." * * * * * fourteen days of may had passed. both were sitting outside the comfortable little house and watching how the migratory birds rested in the garden before continuing their journey north-ward. "so quiet?" "how long?" "eight days more. but i had not thought that marriage was such a splendid arrangement." "although they call me a woman-hater," he said, "i have always loved woman, and although they call me a friend of immorality, i have always held by marriage." "can you imagine yourself leading a lonely life after this?" "no, the thought chokes me." "do you know i am so happy that i am afraid?" "yes, so am i. i feel as if someone were lying and spying on us. she is called nemesis, and follows not only guilty but also happy men." "what are you most afraid of?" "that we should part." "but that depends on us, i suppose." "would that it did! but discord comes from without with the wind, with the dew, with too long-continued sunshine, with the rain. try to explain which of us two was to blame for our last quarrel." "neither!" "neither of us two, then it was a third. who is this third? in order to give it a name people call it 'misunderstanding'; but both of our understandings were completely clear, not disturbed at all." "don't frighten me." "no, but be sure that the same event will happen again and that we shall blame each other as on the last occasion." "shall we not go and write now?" she broke in. "i cannot write." "nor can i; my editor is angry because he has had no article from me for two months." "and i have not had a single new idea for a whole year. what will be the end of it?" the fact was that they had neutralised each other, so that there was no more reaction on either side. their life together now consisted of a comfortable silence. the need to be near each other was so great that one could not leave the room without the other following. they tried to shut themselves in their rooms in order to work, but after a short time one would knock at the other's door. "do you know, all this is very fine, but i am becoming an idiot?" she complained. "you also?" "i can neither read, think, nor write any more, and can hardly speak." "it is too much happiness, and we must seek some society, or we shall both become silly." the fact was that they had both ceased to converse; they were apparently so harmonious in all questions and predilections and knew each other's opinions so well that there was no further need to exchange thoughts. the same tastes, the same habits, the same naughtinesses, the same superficial scepticism had brought them together, and now they were welded into one like two pieces of the same metal. each had lost individuality and they were one. but the memory of independence and one's own personality was still present, and a war of liberation was impending. the sense of personal self-preservation awoke, and when each wished to resume their own share, there was a strife about the pieces. "why don't you write?" he asked. "i have tried, but it is always you and about you." "whether it is i, or someone else, it all comes to the same thing." "you mean i have no self?" "you are too young to have a self." he had better have left that unsaid, for by saying it, he woke her. * * * * * one morning there came a paper containing a notice to the effect that a volume of his poems had appeared with a london publisher. "shall we go to london?" she suggested. "yes, gladly, though i don't believe these notices which i have read so often. anyhow, as a business journey, it can be made to pay its own expenses." the resolve was carried out. they saw the little island[1] disappear with the same joy with which they had before seen it rise out of the mist. in dover they had to stay one day at an hotel. as he returned from a walk, he found his wife sealing up six packets, all of the same shape and size. "what are you doing?" he asked. "it is the account of your american journey, which i am sending to some papers i know in denmark." "but you should not cut it up into sections; you know that it forms a complete whole. have you read it?" "no, i have only glanced through it; but at any rate it will bring in some money." "no, it will not; for no one will print it piecemeal. only in a single volume would it have any value." she paid no attention. "come now," she said commandingly; "we will go to the post." she meant well, but was foolish; and although experience had taught him what a dangerous adviser she was, he let her have her way, and followed. on the stairs, he noticed that she limped, for she had bought too tight boots with high heels, such as were then only worn by cocottes. when they reached the street, she hurried on to the post, and he followed. as he noticed how the symmetry of her little figure was impaired by the many packages which she insisted on carrying, and how she limped on the boot heel which she had trodden down, he was seized with a sort of repulsion. it was the first time that he viewed her from behind, and he thought involuntarily of the wood-nymph of legend, who in front was a charming fairy, but behind quite hollow. the next moment he felt a remorseful horror at himself and his thoughts. in this cruel heat the little woman was carrying the heavy load, and had already written six long letters to editors all for his sake. and she limped! but her brutal way of treating his work and cutting a manuscript to pieces without having read it; treating a literary work as a butcher does a carcass!... again he felt repulsion, and again remorse, mixed with that indescribable pain which a man feels when he sees his beloved ugly, badly dressed, pitiful, or ridiculous. people in the street looked after her, especially when the wind blew out her thin serge mantle, which resembled a morning coat; it swelled out like a balloon and spoilt her fine figure. he hurried forward to take the packets from her; but she only waved him off, and hastened on, cheerful and undismayed. when she came out of the post office, she wanted to go and buy larger boots. he followed. since the purchase of them would occupy half an hour, she told him to wait outside. when at last she came out, she walked quite comfortably for a time, but then discovered that the new boots also were too tight. "what do you think of a shoemaker like that?" she said. "but _he_ did not make the boots too tight for you! there were larger ones also." that was a dangerous commencement of the conversation, and as they sat down at a table in a cafã©, the silence was uncomfortable. they sat opposite each other and had to look one another in the eyes; they sought to avoid doing so, but could not, and when they were obliged to look at each other, they turned away. "you would like now to be in copenhagen with your friends," she said. it was a good guess. but even if he could have transported himself thither for a second, he would have wished himself back again at once. her nervousness increased, and her eyes began to sparkle, but since she was intelligent, she understood that neither of them was to blame. "go for a walk," she said; "we must be away from each other for a while, and then you will see it will be better." he quite agreed with her, and they parted without any bitterness. as he walked along by the side of the harbour, he felt his nerves become settled and quiet. he became once more conscious of himself as a separate and independent being; he no longer gave out emanations but concentrated himself; he was once more an individual in his own skin. how well he knew these symptoms, which signified nothing, but which in spite of all attempts to explain them, persisted as a constant phenomenon. meanwhile, since he felt a positive satisfaction in her absence, the thought stole into his mind that perpetual freedom from her would be attended by yet greater satisfaction, and as he approached the steam-boat pier the thought passed through his mind like a flash of lightning: "if i go off now, i shall be in copenhagen in two days." he sat down, ordered a glass of beer, lighted a cigar, and considered. "if i go to london," he thought, "she will get the upper hand, because she can speak the language. i shall be led about by her like a deaf and dumb man and shall have to sit like an idiot among my literary friends whom she will get under her thumb. a pleasant prospect! being patronised by her in the danish newspapers was already sufficiently humiliating. i incurred an obligation to her...." but in the midst of his meditations he broke off, for he knew that no character could stand such close and critical analysis. he knew also that no one could endure being gazed at from behind and judged in absence. then a feeling of loneliness came over him and a consciousness of being faithless and ungrateful. he was drawn back to her, stood up and went quickly to the hotel. when he entered in an elevated mood and not without sentimental feelings he was greeted by a laugh, long-lasting and cheerful like the song of the grasshoppers. dressed in silk she lay there, coiled up like an angora cat, eating sweetmeats, and smelling of perfume. then they laughed both together, as though they had seen something comic in the street, which had nothing to do with them. * * * * * now they were in pimlico, between westminster and chelsea. they had paid one visit and that was all. everyone was away, all the theatres were shut, and a perfectly tropical heat prevailed. one's soul felt as if it would gladly shake off its fleshly husk in order to seek for coolness up in the air. from morning to evening one felt only half alive. the pressure of need had forced him unwillingly to set to work and write. but as he had already utilised most of his experiences, he was obliged to make use of some material which should, properly speaking, not have been employed. however, he did violence to himself, overcame his scruples, and began. "now i am writing," he told her triumphantly, "we are saved!" his wife came and saw how he had filled the first sheet with letters. after an hour she came again. he was lying on the sofa lamenting: "i can do nothing! let us then perish!" she left the room without saying a word, and when she had shut the door, he bolted it. then he took out of his portmanteau a green linen bag containing a quantity of sheets of paper covered with dates. these had been often spoken of by his friends and nicknamed the "last judgment." it was an historical work, in which, from a new and bold point of view, he treated the history of the world as a branch of natural science. he had planned it carefully, but perhaps it was destined never to be printed and would certainly never bring in any money. after working for some time, he felt the usual restlessness which he experienced in the absence of his second self, and went down to seek her. she sat reading a book which she made a lame attempt to hide, as he entered. by her strange manner he saw that some fateful element had entered into their common life. "what are you reading?" he asked. "your last book," she answered in a peculiar tone. "it has appeared then! don't read it; you will poison yourself." it was a ruthless description of his first marriage, written in self-defence and as a last testament, for he had intended, after completing it, to take his life. for years the manuscript had remained sealed up in the care of a relative, and he had never intended to print it. but in the last spring and under the pressure of necessity, after he had been assailed most unjustly by gossips and in the newspapers, he had sold the book to a publisher. and now it had appeared and fallen into the hands of the very last person who should have seen it. his first impulse was to snatch the book from her, but he was restrained by the thought: "it has happened; well, let it happen!" and with perfect calm, as though he had assisted at his own inevitable execution, he left the room. at lunch, he noticed the strange transformation which had taken place in his wife. her face wore a new expression; her looks searched his whole person, as though she were comparing him with the man described in the book. he took for granted that his sufferings there described would not arouse her pity, for a woman always takes sides with her own sex. but what he could not understand was that she seemed to recognise herself in certain of her predecessor's characteristics. perhaps her mind was occupied by some still unsolved problems in the question which married people instinctively avoid--the woman question. certain it was, however, that she had learnt what her husband's views were on the subject of her sex, and they were so cynically expressed that they must give her mortal offence. she did not say a word, but he saw in her face that now all chance of peace was gone and that this woman would never rest till she had destroyed his marriage and compelled him to shorten his life. against this he could only oppose his motto: "be ready for everything," and resolve to bear everything as long as possible, and finally when nothing else remained, to go his own way. then she would devour herself in solitude for want of food for her hate. the next day she had hatched her egg, which proved to contain a basilisk. with an air which would fain have seemed innocent, but did not, she told him, that since he could not work, they must think of retrenching. "very well," he answered. first of all they had to content themselves with one room. this meant that all possibility of being his own master, of withdrawing himself, and of collecting himself was precluded. for the future he would be confined with his tormentress in the same cage, have no more power over his own thoughts and inclinations, and above all, not be' able to work at the "last judgment." "you know you cannot work!" she remarked. when midday came, a plate with some cold bacon and bread was set before him. "you don't like soup," she said; "and hot food isn't nice in this heat." then she sat down to watch him. "won't you eat?" he asked. "no, i am not hungry," she answered, and continued to watch him. then he stood up, took his hat, and prepared to go out. "are you going out?" she asked; "then i will go too, and we will keep each other company." he went forward with long strides and she followed him. in order to vex her he chose the sunny side of the street by a long white wall, where the heat was intense, and the reflected light blinded the eyes. then he dragged her out to chelsea, where there was no house that could give shade. she followed like an evil spirit. when they came to the river, he thought for a moment of pushing her into the water, but did not. he went along the bank where lime-ships unloaded, steam-cranes puffed out coal-smoke, and chains hindered their walking. he hoped that she would fall and hurt herself, or be pushed down by a workman, and wished that a coal-heaver would embrace and kiss her--so boundless was his hate and hers. it was in vain that he mounted over barrels and wheel-barrows and threaded his way through heaps of lime. he thought of jumping into the river and swimming to the other side, but was withheld by the thought that she perhaps could swim also. at last he made a wide circuit like an ox persecuted by a gadfly, and went down to westminster. there the back streets swarmed with the strangest figures, like shapes seen in a nightmare. he entered the abbey, as if to shake off a pest, but she followed, silent and unweariable. finally he had to return home, and when he got there, he sat down on one chair, and she seated herself opposite him. then he understood how a man can become a murderer, and determined to fly, as soon as he had written for money. the night came, and he hoped now to be able to collect his thoughts, and be master of himself. she pretended to be asleep, but he could tell by her breathing that she did not really sleep. "are you awake?" she asked. he was still unwise enough to answer "yes." now they lay there watching which should first go to sleep. at last he did so. in the middle of the night he awoke, listened, and heard by her breathing that she was asleep. then his soul stretched itself, wrapped itself up in the darkness, and enjoyed being able to think without being watched by those cold, threatening eyes. she had not, however, really gone to sleep, but in the darkness he heard her voice as before: "are you asleep?" he felt the vampire which had fastened on to his soul and kept watch even over his thoughts. why did she spy on him except that she feared the silent workings of his mind? she felt perhaps how he lay there, and worked himself gradually out of the meshes of her net. he only needed a few hours' quiet, but that he was not to have. so she denied herself sleep in order to torment him. she would not allow herself the pleasure of going to the city, or of visiting the libraries and museums, because she did not wish to leave him alone. the next day he asked her whether she wished to continue to translate his worlds, or whether he should have recourse again to his old translators.' "shall i translate _you_?" she said contemptuously. "there are better writers to be done." "why will you not rather translate me than your rubbishy authors?" "take care!" she hissed. "you over-value yourself and a terrible awakening awaits you from the dream of your imagined greatness." she said that in a tone as if she were supported by the public opinion of all europe. that made a certain impression on him, for an author, even when recognised, often seems nothing to himself but is entirely dependent on the opinion others cherish regarding his talents. now he felt the bond between them snap. she hated and despised his work, which was his only means of support, and when she sought to rob him of courage and confidence, she was the enemy. and in dealing with an enemy there are only two methods--either to kill him, or not to fight him but to fly. he determined on the latter. he had still to wait a few days till the money came, and these days were enough to develop his aversion. he had opportunities of witnessing more cold, calculating malice, mischievous joy at successful thrusts, all the feminine small-mindedness, meanness, and duplicity, but on a larger scale. since she knew that he could not get away for want of money, she gave him to understand that he was her prisoner; but he was not, however. the room looked like a pigsty, and the meals were so prepared as to be purposely repulsive. dirt and disorder prevailed to such a degree that he felt himself in hell. with longing he thought of his lonely attic which had always been tidy, however careless he had been about expenses. two months had passed since their marriage. all smiles and even conversation had ceased; love was changed into unreasoning hate, and he began to find her ugly. on the last day before his departure, he felt obliged to speak out in order not to explode. "you were beautiful as long as i loved you; perhaps my love made you so, not only in my opinion. now i find you the ugliest and meanest character which i have met in my life." she answered: "i know that i have never been so malicious towards anyone as towards you, without being able to give any reasons for it." "i can, though," he said. "you hate me because i am a man, and your husband." he had packed his portmanteau and she was prepared for his departure. when now the time of separation approached and she believed it would be for ever, her hatred vanished, and behold! love was there again! her tenderness and care for him knew no bounds. they spoke of the future as though they would soon meet again. she gave him good advice in a motherly way, but resignedly, as if in face of an unalterable destiny which demanded their temporary separation. as they drove to the station in an open carriage, she kissed him repeatedly in broad daylight in the main streets. the passers-by laughed, but when the police began to look attentively at the caressing pair, he felt the need of caution. "take care," he said, "in this country we might be imprisoned for making love openly." "what do i care for that?" she answered. "i love you so much." he thought her again sublime in her all-defying tenderness, and they planned to meet again in a week. his intention was to go to his colleague ilmarinen in the island of rã¼gen. the latter would help him to order his affairs; then he would rent a house and they would meet again in a fortnight at latest. "you see now, one cannot trust in the permanence of this hatred." "no, one must trust love." "it looks as if that had conquered." their parting at the station was heart-rending, and, as he sat alone in the railway carriage, he felt the pain of longing for her. he did not find the sense of freedom and happiness of which he had dreamt. all the recollections of her malice seemed to have been obliterated. [footnote 1: heligoland.] iv he went from london to hamburg in the hope of finding acquaintances on his arrival who would help him on to rã¼gen. but he found the place as though under a spell of enchantment; everyone had gone to the country or somewhere else. he had to take a room in an hotel and telegraph first to ilmarinen in rã¼gen, but the latter answered that he had no money. then he telegraphed to copenhagen and christiania and received similar answers. he felt now as though he had been enticed into a trap and overpowered. since there had been an outbreak of cholera the previous year in hamburg, they expected another when the heat returned, and that was the case just now. therefore, if he did not get away soon, he had to expect, not death, to which he felt indifferent, but the quarantine. the days passed slowly with terrible monotony, for he had no one to talk to, and with the threatened cholera outbreak hanging over his head. helpless and in a perpetual rage against some invisible foe who seemed to have a grudge against him, he felt paralysed. he dared not move a finger in order to alter his destiny, for he feared failure and renewed disappointment of his hopes. in order to pass the time he studied historical tables and wrote dates from morning to evening. but the days were still terribly long, and after four days he conceived a fixed idea that he would never get away from this infernal town where nothing but buying and selling went on. this impression became so strong that he determined to end his life in his uncanny bedroom. he unpacked his things and put out the photographs of his children and other relatives on the writing-table. loneliness and torment made the time seem double its real length. he began to be under the illusion that he was a native of hamburg; he forgot for a while his past and the fact that he was married or had lived anywhere else than here. he regarded himself as a prisoner with the weird feeling that he did not know what crime he had committed, who had condemned him, or who was his jailer. but the black spectre of cholera haunted invisibly the dirty water of the canals and watched for him. three times a day he asked the waiter about the cholera and always received the same answer: "they are not sure yet." then at last came a letter from his wife. she cried aloud from longing, fear, and unrest, and wished to know where he was. he answered in the same tone and felt wild with rage at the destiny which separated them. on the morning of the fifth day he discovered in a newspaper that his danish friend lived only half an hour's journey by rail from hamburg. if he had known that before, he would not have been obliged to undergo all these sufferings. now, since he could not pay the hotel bill, he resolved to depart at once and not to return. his friend would give him money which he would send to the hotel, and he would have his things sent after him. he took his seat in the railway carriage with the feelings of a liberated prisoner, cast a pitying look on hamburg and forgave the injuries it had done him, but vowed never to honour it with another visit, unless compelled. his half-hour's journey put him in a good humour, and his mouth watered at the prospect of being able to give expression to all his vexation and perhaps to make light of his martyrdom, and give it a comic aspect. his divine frivolity returned, and he thought that he must be after all a lucky fellow to find one of his friends so unexpectedly. he stopped before the comfortable little house; the landlord stood in the doorway; he greeted him and asked if mr ---were at home. "no; he went off this morning." "where?" "to denmark." during the three hours which he had to wait for the train he had time to get over the blow. when he took his seat again in the train, he thought: "there is something wrong here; it is not the natural logic of events. it is certainly something else." then the spires of hamburg reappeared and his hatred to the place awoke again, and rose to an incredible height when he saw a coffin at the station. "now the cholera is here," he thought, "and i shall be in quarantine for fourteen days!" but it was not the cholera, which was something to be thankful for. he did not feel so, however, for he felt sure it would break out on the same day that he received the money. and he calculated that he would never get away from hamburg in this way. the money would delay so long till the hotel bill, which grew in geometrical progression, swallowed up the whole amount, and nothing would be left for his travelling expenses. in this way there would be a sort of perpetual movement which might last till the end of the world. that his calculations were about correct was proved two days later when the money really came. he paid the bill, left the hotel in a cab, and drove to the station; then a hotel servant who had followed him expected a tip, and had, besides, a little additional bill, probably falsified, as usual. when he came to the booking-office and inquired the price of the ticket, he was two marks short. accordingly he returned to the hotel. it is not necessary to linger over details in order to give the reader a lively idea of what he suffered. in short, his silence cure still lasted some days; then he got away, and the cholera had not yet broken out. his object in going to rã¼gen was partly to seek masculine society in order to get rid of the feminine atmosphere which had enveloped him, and partly to settle matters with ilmarinen; but his chief purpose was probably to talk himself out. that was precisely why, he thought, destiny or whatever it was had relegated him to absolute silence in hamburg, for "destiny" always sought out his secret wishes in order to frustrate them. when at last he reached rã¼gen, hoping to have a good talk for half a night, he found ilmarinen altered, chilly in demeanour and embarrassed. the latter had heard that his friend had married a lady from a rich family, as indeed was the fact, and therefore could not understand this sudden come down. when the new-comer asked whether they could have supper together, the finn excused himself by saying that he had been invited to a birthday feast. "i live, you know," he said, "with lais's oldest friend, the swede, who was in love with her, and who came last." "is he here?" "yes, he lives here, since lais engaged herself to the russian who left his wife and children." "he hates me then also?" "yes, to speak the truth, your presence will certainly annoy him." so he remained alone the first evening. alone after a long double loneliness with his wife and with himself! he felt as though he were under some curse, to be so treated by this insignificant, uncultivated ilmarinen whom he had lifted up from nothingness, introduced to his own circle, fed and lodged, because he executed business matters for him with the theatres and publishers. this employment was partly an honour for the young unknown author, and partly an advantage, for it helped him to find openings for his own work. now the pupil abandoned the teacher, because he thought there was nothing more to be gained from him, and because he considered he could now help himself. the days which followed were now so dreadful, that again the thought occurred to him that this could not be natural, but that a black hand was guiding his destiny. since there was only one restaurant in this third-class watering-place, he had to sit at the same table with his countryman, who attributed to him the loss of lais, and with ilmarinen, who assumed a superior tone, because he regarded him as lost. then the food resembled hog's flesh from which all the goodness had been cooked out. one rose hungry from table, and was hungry the whole day. everything was adulterated, even the beer. as regards the meat, the restaurant keeper's family first cooked all the goodness out of it for themselves; the customers only got the sinews and bones, and were fed, in fact, just like dogs. bitter looks, which his unfortunate fellow-countryman could not quite suppress, did not increase the imaginary pleasures of the table. he spent a week in rã¼gen without hearing anything from his wife in london. at first he had found life on the island tolerable in contrast to that in the hamburg hotel; but when he woke one day and reflected on his situation, it seemed to him simply hellish. he had hired an attic room and the sun beat fiercely on the iron plates of the roof, which was only a foot above his head. sixteen years previously he had, as a young bachelor, left his garret at the top of five flights of stairs, in order to enter a house as a married man. since that time it had been one of his nightmares to find himself crawling up the five flights of stairs to his old garret, where all the wretchedness and untidiness of a bachelor's room awaited him. now he was again in an attic and a bachelor, although married. that was like a punishment after receiving warnings. but what crime he had committed he could not say. moreover, the whole surrounding soil consisted of light, loose sand, which had been so heated by the suns of midsummer that it did not become cool at night. it made one think at first of the hot sand-girdles which peasants use to cure inflammation of the lungs. later on, after searching in his memory, he thought of the scene in dante's inferno where the blasphemers lie stretched out on hot sand. but as he did not think he believed in any good god, it seemed to him that blasphemies might be left unpunished. after walking about for a week in the deep sand, it seemed to him really a hellish torture to have to take half a step backward for every one forward, and to be obliged to lift the foot six inches high in walking. worst of all was the feeling of sinking through the earth like the girl in the fairy story who trod on bread. never to find a firm foothold, nor to be able to run a race with one's thoughts, but to drag oneself about like an old man--that was hell. besides this, there was a heat in the air which never abated. his attic was burning hot by day, and when he lay in bed at night with nothing on, he was scorched by the iron plates of the roof. the nearness of the sea would naturally have helped to relieve the heat, but that possibility had been carefully guarded against, like everything else. from his boyhood he had been accustomed to cast himself head foremost into the water because he did not like creeping into it. in connection with this also, he was persecuted by a frequently recurring nightmare, i.e. he used to dream that he was overheated and must plunge into the sea. the sea was there but was so shallow that he could not plunge into it, and when he did crawl into it, it was still so shallow that he could not duck his head. that was precisely the case here. "have i come here for the fulfilment of all my bad dreams?" he asked himself. and with reason. ilmarinen grew more inquisitive every day; he asked when the norwegian's wife was coming, and when a fortnight had passed, believed that she had quite abandoned him. this, naturally, pleased lais's friend, and nothing was wanting to complete the norwegian's hell. for there was something very humiliating in his position as a discarded husband. his correspondence with england had assumed such an ominous character that he did not know himself whether he was still married or separated. in one of his wife's letters, she dwelt on her inextinguishable love, the pain of separation, and the martyrdom of longing. they were, she said, hero and leander on opposite sides of the sea, and if she could swim, she would fly to her leander, even at the risk of being washed up on his island a corpse. in her next letter she announced that she intended opening a theatre in london, and was trying to raise sufficient capital. at the same time she could not find enough capital to buy a steamer-ticket. a third letter contained the news that she was ill, and was full of complaints that the husband had left his sick wife in a foreign land. a fourth letter said that she was in a convent kept by english ladies, where she had been educated, and where she found again her youth and innocence; in it she also denounced the wickedness of the world and the hell of marriage. it was impossible to give reasonable answers to these letters, for they poured on him like hail and crossed his own. if he wrote a gentle reply he received a scolding letter in answer to a previous sharp one of his, and vice versa. their misunderstandings arrived at such a pitch that they bordered on lunacy, and when he ceased to write, she began to send telegrams. this imbroglio lasted for a month, and during that time he looked back with longing to the hours he had spent in hamburg; they seemed to him like memories of an indescribably happy time when compared with this. at last he was cut down from the gallows. a letter came from his sister-in-law inviting him to his father-in-law's villa at odense. his wife had also been invited; and it was arranged that they should meet again there. v prepared for everything, even the worst, he entered on this new stage of running the gauntlet. the most curious of all his changes awaited him. after having been a husband and father he was to become a child again, be incorporated into a family, and find another father and mother many years after losing his own. the situation was rendered more confused by the fact that his father and mother-in-law had lived separate for seven years, and now wished to come together again on the occasion of their daughter's marriage. he had thus become a bond of union between them, and since the daughter had also been at variance with her father, the family meeting promised to take the shape of a manifold reconciliation. but his own past was not exactly associated with family reconciliations, and since he himself had not a clean record the prospective idyll by the areskov lake began to loom before him like a cave of snakes. how was he to explain this strange parting from his bride after only eight weeks of marriage? to allege pecuniary embarrassment would be the worst of all excuses, because a son-in-law with money difficulties would be regarded as an impostor or a legacy-hunter. as he approached the meeting-place, he became nervous, but at the last hour he saved his courage, as usual, by reverting to the stand-point of the author: "if i get no honour thereby, i will at any rate get material for a chapter in my novel." he also regarded what happened to him from another point of view--that of the innocent martyr. "i will see how far destiny can go in its meanness, and how much i can bear." when the train stopped at the pretty little branch-line station, he looked out, naturally enough, for faces which sought his own. a young lady leading a delicate-looking child by the hand approached, asked his name, and introduced herself as his father-in-law's french governess. she had been sent, she said, to meet him. a pretty white village whose houses had high, tent-like roofs and green shutters lay in a valley surrounded by small hills, and enclosing a beautiful lake, on the bank of which, outside the village, stood his father-in-law's house. on the road under the lime-trees a bare-headed, white-haired lady met him, embraced him and bade him welcome. it was his wife's mother. he was immediately conscious what a strange transmission of feelings such a simple transaction as marriage had seemed to him, might bring about. she was his mother and he was her son. "i have known you long before you saw my daughter," said the old lady, with the quavering voice of a religious fanatic. "and it is as though i had expected you. there is much evil in your writings, but your immorality is childish, your views of women are correct, and your godlessness is not your fault for he did not wish to make your acquaintance, but now you will soon see him come. you have married a child of the world, but you will not long remain with her when you see how she pulls you down into the trivialities of life. when you find yourself alone, you will re-discover the first vocation of your youth." this she said in the solemn and unembarrassed manner of a sibyl, as though someone else spoke through her and therefore she did not fear to have said too much. when the conversation returned to mundane things, he asked after his father-in-law, whose absence surprised him. she answered that he was not here, but would come to-morrow. his sister-in-law now appeared but she was chilly, gloomy and conventional in demeanour. he had thought her his friend and had hoped to find a support in her presence, but perceived now that that hope was vain, especially as she was going to leave before her father came. nothing more was said about his own wife, and no one knew whether she was coming or not. had he been enticed into a trap? he asked himself, and was a court martial about to be held here? had his wife written complaints against him from england? how was he to interpret the situation? a mother-in-law who almost advised him to be divorced, and spoke ill of her child--that was something very original! meanwhile he was conducted into the villa. it was a handsome stone building of two stories, with many large rooms filled with ancient furniture, tapestries, and ornaments. and this house, which could easily contain two large families, was occupied for only six weeks in the year by the owner during his holidays; the rest of the time it stood empty. this suggested wealth, and gave the son-in-law the impression that here, at any rate, one need not discuss poverty--its causes and its cure. the day passed in conversation with his mother-in-law, who was unwearied in showing him attention and kindness. she was inclined on every occasion to lead the conversation to high subjects; as a religious mystic she was disposed to see the guiding hand of providence everywhere. that led her to look at things in general from a tolerant point of view, since she regards people's actions as predestined. in order to make himself agreeable in the most usual way he placed himself at her point of view and searched in his past for some premonitions of coming events. "yes," answered the old lady, "i said already that i had expected you; one of those wild northmen was to come and take my daughter. but as you can guess, my husband was not delighted at the prospect; he has a very violent temper but is good at heart. you will have a hard tussle with him at first, but it will soon be over, if only you do not answer him. it is certainly fortunate that your wife has not come, for he has a bone to pick with her also." "also?" "i don't mean anything bad; don't misunderstand me. it will be all right when his angry fit is over." "he will be angry then, anyhow, but i don't understand why. i have acted in good faith, but every man may sometimes fairly plead unmerited misfortune." "oh, it will be all right!" at last the evening ended and he went up to his room. it had windows on three sides; there were no outer blinds and the curtains could not be drawn together. he felt himself under observation, like a patient in quarantine. when he lay in bed he had his father-in-law's bust to contemplate; the face did not look friendly but quite the reverse, and being lit from below, it assumed all manner of unpleasing expressions. "and to-morrow i am to be lectured by this stranger who i have never seen; scolded like a schoolboy because i have had misfortunes. well, i must put up with it, as with everything else." the next morning he woke up with a distinct impression that he found himself in a pit of snakes, into which satan had enticed him. therefore it was impossible to flee, so he went out to botanise and survey the landscape. he screwed himself up into a frivolous, poetic mood and thought what a thrilling situation it was; a dramatic scene which no one had hitherto passed through. "it is my own," he said to himself, "even though it should scorch my skin." lunch-time came; it was not exactly cheerful at table and his father-in-law's empty place seemed to threaten him. after lunch he went up to his room to quiet his nerves and immediately afterwards the councillor's arrival was announced. the norwegian went down smiling, while a chill ran through him at intervals. in the veranda stood a man who looked about forty, dressed like a young man, with laughing and youthful eyes. what the norwegian's own demeanour was, he himself could not see, but it must have made a favourable impression, for his new relative greeted him respectfully, apologised for the lateness of his arrival, said kind things about his books, and asked him to sit down. however, he always addressed him with "you" instead of the more intimate "thou." then he talked of politics; he had just come from fredensborg. he spoke at length of this and that person, apparently with the object of observing his son-in-law, who sat mute and attentive. then he turned to his wife, asked if she had anything to entertain their guest with, and finally came back to him, asking if he wished for anything. without hesitating he stood up, went near his father-in-law and said: "i have only one wish, that my wife's father should call me 'thou.'"[1] there was a sudden gleam in the other's eyes, he opened his arms and now the doubter felt the same as he had when meeting his mother-in-law. the invisible family-tie had been knit; he was genuinely moved, and stood there transformed into a child. "you are a good fellow," said his father-in-law, "i have looked into your eyes." then he kissed him on both cheeks. "but," he continued, "you have got maria, and you know what you have got, as i hear. be good enough never to come and complain to me. if you cannot tame her, you must let yourself be drawn along by her. you have had your way; much good may it do you!" then they drank coffee and talked like relatives and old acquaintances. then the councillor went to change his clothes in order to go fishing. he returned in a summer suit of white cashmere which made him look still younger than before. the trousers had certainly belonged to his court uniform, and traces of gold thread were still visible upon them, but that made an impression on the bohemian. moreover, his father-in-law offered him cigars which he had been presented with by princes. the councillor had dined at court and was now going fishing with the anarchist. the latter felt his conscience slightly uneasy as he had not long previously admired the cleverness of some anarchists in forcing open money-safes. it was strange! but the councillor spoke sympathetically of modern movements and of scandinavian literature in general. he was also thoroughly acquainted with the terrible activity of his son-in-law, so that the latter had no need to feel embarrassed. he especially approved of his views on the woman question and expressed his opinion thus, "you have written all that i wished to write." he was perhaps not quite serious, but he said it at any rate. then they reached the stream. "have you ever fished for perch?" asked his father-in-law. "no," he replied. "then you had better help me." the help consisted in placing the fish in a basket and clearing the hook without injuring the artificial fly. since everything requires practice, the son-in-law showed himself somewhat clumsy and got scolded. but he had become so accustomed to his new position that he found it quite natural, just as natural as when he used to go fishing formerly with his children. at sunset the sport ceased, and the son-in-law had the honour of carrying the fishing-rods, basket, and fish home. the evening was cheerful, and the councillor sent a telegram to london with travelling expenses, telling the young wife to come at once. "that is for your sake," he said to his son-in-law. in other words she had not been sent for before, and he had therefore been enticed, as one captures singing-birds. "i have got well over it," he said to his mother-in-law as he bade her good night. "the worst is over, but it is not finished yet." "do you think we shall both get a whipping?" it was not the end yet by a long way. the next morning he received a letter from london in which she said farewell to him for ever (lord byron!) because in the choice between her and her parents, he had preferred the latter. since there was no choice in question, this was a piece of nonsense which concealed something. another letter, addressed to her mother, was to the same effect but expressed more violently and concluded by wishing her "good luck." her mother explained it thus. "she is jealous, fears that you tell tales against her and find support here; she is so self-willed that she cannot bear even her parents over her. if you become good friends with her father and mother, she feels herself in a child's position with regard to you also!" this was possible but not quite natural, for she ought to have rejoiced that he had made a conquest of her parents, and thus brought about a reconciliation between her and them. her father became angry and serious; he telegraphed an ultimatum and demanded an answer. now the sky was clouded and there were no more smiles. the norwegian feared a collision if he remained here, and telegraphed to his wife: "i am going to copenhagen; if you do not come, i will seek for a divorce." but he had to wait for an answer, and therefore he remained. that night he could not sleep, for the situation was grotesque enough to drive one to despair. suppose she agreed to a divorce, how could the family-tie which had just been formed be broken in a moment? what would he be then, who had just entered into the family and received their confidence? what would the old people think? such a hasty breach could not take place without some reason. the next morning a telegram came from his young wife who was in holland. since everything was fated to go crazily this telegram was so badly worded that it might mean "i am coming to you," or "i am going to copenhagen to meet you there." this telegram became a bone of contention, and for three whole days the old pair and their son-in-law disputed over its interpretation. but the young wife did not come. they listened to the whistles of the steamboats, went down to meet the trains, came back and discussed the telegram again. they had no more quiet, and could not carry on a conversation without turning their heads and listening. the next day the father's patience was exhausted, for a collateral circumstance came in view, of great importance in his eyes--the unavoidable scandal. the whole village knew that the son-in-law was there, but that his wife had been lost and was sought for by telegram. her father therefore shut himself up all day, and when he emerged began a ruthless discussion of the economic problem. "have you a sure income?" he asked. "as sure as authors generally have," was the answer. "very well, then you must do like others, and write for the papers." "no paper will print my articles." "then write them so that they can be printed." that was more than a sceptic and quietist ought to have borne, but he bore it and kept silence, firmly resolved rather to take a guitar on his arm and go about as a wretched streetsinger rather than sell his soul. the old man had himself been a novelist and poet in his youth, but had been obliged to give up the struggle in order to provide for his family. he, therefore, had the right to say: "do as i have had to do." but on the other side he knew by experience how hard such a sacrifice is. he immediately felt sympathy with his son-in-law and spoke friendly, encouraging words. the next moment, however, his justified suspicions awoke, and the memory of the sacrifice he had once made made him bitter; he felt he must trample on an unfortunate who had fallen under his feet. when he saw how the other kept silent and took everything quietly, an evil spirit probably whispered to him that this man could only bear everything so patiently because he hoped some day to be heir in this house. then he spoke of king lear and his ungrateful daughters who left the old man alone, waited for his death, and robbed him of honour. so the day passed, and when the son-in-law withdrew, he was sent for to be whipped again. since he could put himself in other's places, and understood how to suffer with them, he made no attempt to defend himself. he could easily imagine himself old and set aside, despised and neglected by his children. "you are right," he said, "but still i feel myself innocent." on the evening of the third day after the dispatch of the london telegram his mother-in-law came to him. "you must go early to-morrow morning," she said, "for he cannot bear to see you any more!" "very well, i will go." "and if maria comes now, she will not be received." "have you ever seen a man in such a position as mine?" "no; my husband grants that too; it makes him suffer to see such a worthy man as you in such a position; he suffers on your account, and he does not want to suffer. you know my thoughts about it; it is no one's fault and not the fault of circumstances; but you are fighting against another who pursues and pursues you till you are so weary that you will be compelled to seek rest in the only place where rest is to be found. in me you will always have a friend, even if you are divorced from my daughter, and i shall follow the course of your destiny with my good wishes and my prayers." when alone in his room, he felt a certain relief to think that to-morrow there would be an end of this wretchedness which was among the worst things he had experienced. in order to think of something else, he took up a paper which proved to be the official court news. his eye flew over the first page down to the feuilleton, where a literary essay attracted his attention. he read it, thinking that his father-in-law had written it. at the first glance the article showed great familiarity with literature, but it contained over-confident judgments and was written in too artificial a style. moreover, it surprised him by displaying hostility to all modern literature (including scandinavian), while german literature was pointed to with special emphasis as that which set the tone to, and stood highest in the civilised world. germany always at the head! when he reached the end of the article, he saw that it was signed by his wife! now he had promised her never to read her articles and he had kept this promise in order to avoid literary discussions in his married life. the only reason that her written sentiments were different from those which she expressed in daily conversation must be that she had to write so "in order to be printed." what a double life this woman must lead, appearing in radical circles as an anarchist, and in the court paper as an old-fashioned conservative! how one could so change about he did not understand, and he was too tired to try to understand it. but that explained why she could not understand his being without occupation while there were plenty of pens and paper. this worldly wisdom, this old-fashioned style seemed to suggest a bald head and spectacles rather than a young, beautiful, laughing girl who could lie on a sofa and eat sweetmeats like an odalisque. "to think that people should be so complicated!" he said to himself. "it is interesting at any rate! i shall remember it next time!" and he fell asleep, thinking himself considerably wiser after these experiences. at seven o'clock he got up, called by a man who was to take his things to the station. as his mother-in-law had told him the train did not start till nearly eight, he made no hurry, but dressed quietly and went down into the garden where he met her. they were standing and talking of what lay before him when a rough, thundering voice was heard from a window of the first story. it was his father-in-law. "haven't you gone yet?" "no; the train doesn't go till quarter to eight!" "what idiot told you that?" that he could not say, as it was his mother-in-law. "well, hurry on to the station and see when the next train goes." as the norwegian hesitated, there came a sharp "now!" like the crack of a whip over a horse. it was quite clear to him what he had to do now; he pressed his mother-in-law's hand and went. his firm steps must have shown that they were the opposite to those leading to the lion's cave,[2] going out and away but never returning, for he heard immediately the old man's voice in a caressing, lamenting tone: "axel!" it felt like a stab in the departer's breast, but he had begun to move, and went on without looking round. he went down to the station, looked ostensibly at the railway guide, asked about the next train without listening to the answer, saw by the position of the sun which direction was north-east, and struck into the nearest highway. he did this all so quietly, as though he had long considered the plan. soon he found himself out in the country, alone without a home, without baggage, without an overcoat, and nothing but a walking-stick in his hand. he felt angry with no one; his father-in-law was right, and his last call sounded like an appeal for forgiveness for his bad temper. yes, he only felt guilty with regard to this man, on whom he had brought shame and sorrow. but in himself he felt innocent, for he had only acted according to his obligations and possibilities. meanwhile he was free and had left the worst hell behind him; the sun shone, the landscape lay green and open, he had the whole world before him. he shook off the child's clothes which he had worn for eight days, felt himself a man again, and marched on. his plan was to reach a certain place on foot; there to take a steamer, to telegraph for his baggage and so to travel to copenhagen. "the affair is really ludicrous," he said to himself; "if it were not tragic for the old people. it looks bad, but i have survived worse things. i am a tramp! very good! then all claims to honour and respect have ceased. it is soothing at all events to have nothing more to lose. hurrah!" he marched into the next village like an old soldier and ordered wine and tobacco. he felt hilarious, and chatted with the innkeeper. then he went on again. but at intervals he became sentimental; thought of his mother-in-law's words about the wild chase; had to admit that there was something uncanny about it, for he had never yet experienced such a misfortune; and if other people noticed it, it could not be mere imagination. but that was nothing strange, for he had had bad luck ever since he was a child. but fancy placing a man in such a position! he would not even have treated an enemy with such hellish cruelty. meanwhile he reached odense, came to korsã¶r and soon afterwards to copenhagen. it was evening and he sent a messenger to the family where his wife generally stayed. since she had not come to the arreskov lake, she must be in copenhagen. on the visiting-card which he sent he only wrote: "a somewhat strange question: where is my wife?" the man who has not waited for an hour and a half on a pavement does not know how long this time can be. but this interval of waiting was abridged by the hope that after a silence-cure of eight days in hamburg, five weeks of simple imprisonment at rã¼gen, and a week of the nethermost hell at fã¼nen, he would see his wife again. after an hour and a half the messenger returned with another visiting-card on which was written: "she left this morning for fã¼nen in order to meet you." a miss again! "i begin to find this monotonous even when regarded as a plot," he said to himself. if one had used it for the plan of a novel, the reader would throw the book away and exclaim: "no! that is too thick! and as a farce it isn't cheerful enough!" nevertheless, it was a fact! the next minute he thought: "my poor, unfortunate wife is going straight into the lion's den. now she will get blows." for her father's anger was now unbounded, and his mother-in-law had said during the last days of his stay: "if she comes now, he will beat her." therefore he telegraphed to the old lady to say that his wife was coming, and asked indulgence for her. it would take four days for her to return. in order not to remain in copenhagen where his wedding journey had been reported in the papers, he stayed in a village outside the town where an old friend of his lived with his family. in the boarding-house where he stayed the same hog's-wash regime prevailed as in rã¼gen. in two days he lost as much strength as though he had had an attack of typhus. one chewed till one's jaws were weary, went hungry to table, and rose again tired and hungry. his friend was not the same as before. rendered melancholy by disappointments he seemed to find this a favourable opportunity to display a visible satisfaction at seeing the well-known author in such a sorry plight. his sympathy took the heartiest, and at the same time the most insulting forms. when the norwegian related his adventures on the wedding journey, his hearer stared at him in such a way that he made a hasty end of his narrative in order not to be stigmatised as a liar. the village was on marshy ground, and over-shadowed by very old trees; one became melancholy there without knowing why. when he walked down one of the streets of the village he was astonished to see people at the windows regarding him furtively with wild, distracted looks, and immediately afterwards shyly hiding themselves behind the curtains. this disquieted him and he wondered whether a false report had been spread that he was mad. when he asked his friend about it, the latter answered: "don't you know where you are?" the question sounded strangely, and might mean: "are you so confused that you have lost consciousness?" "i am in x----" he answered, in order not to betray his suspicion. "and don't you know what x---is?" "no!" "it is simply a lunatic asylum; the inhabitants make a living by taking care of mad people." and he laughed. the norwegian inquired no further, but he asked himself: "have they enticed me into a trap in order to watch me?" he had grounds for such a suspicion, for such an occurrence had already happened in his life. his whole existence now became a single effort to show himself so ordinary in his way of thinking and normal in his behaviour, that nothing "unusual" might be noticed in him. he did not dare to give vent to an original thought or to utter a paradox, and whenever the temptation came to narrate something of his wedding journey he pinched his knee. this continual fear of being watched depressed him so much that he saw watching eyes everywhere, and thought he noticed traps laid for him in questions where there were none. sensitive as he was, he believed that the whole village exhaled the contagious atmosphere of the lunatics; he became depressed and feared to go mad himself. but he did not attempt to go away, partly because he feared being arrested at the station, and partly because he had told his wife to meet him at this village. he had received letters from arreskov, in which his mother-in-law informed him what disquiet and anxiety his disappearance had caused them. his father-in-law, who well knew what he would have done in the unfortunate man's place, had immediately foreboded his suicide and wept aloud. they had searched for him by the banks of the lake and in the wood.... he stopped reading the letter and felt his conscience prick him. the good old man had wept! how terrible his lot must be, when the sight of it had that effect on others! the letter went on to say that maria had arrived, and that they would soon meet again, if he only kept quiet, for she loved him. this was a ray of light and it gave him strength to endure this hell, where everyone looked askance at his neighbour to see whether he were in his senses. but the two last days brought new tortures. the swede whom he had met in the copenhagen cafã© had accepted an invitation to come to dinner. the norwegian went gladly to the station to meet his best friend, who understood him better than anyone else, and who, though poor himself, had tried to make interest for him with rich people, and to procure the help for him which he himself could not obtain. but now he met a stranger who looked at him coldly and treated him as a stranger. there was no smile of recognition on his part, no inquiry after the norwegian's health and especially no allusion to the past. after dinner he took the host aside and asked: "is the swede angry with me?" "angry? no! but you understand he has now married lais." "married?" "yes, and therefore he does not like to be reminded that she was your friend." "i understand that, but it is not my fault that i was her friend before she knew that the swede was in existence." "no, certainly not; but you have gossiped about her." "i only said what everyone else said, since it was no secret. she herself so boasted of her conquests that they were bound to become public." "yes, but the fact is as i say." the swede remained in the hotel, and therefore the norwegian was relegated to solitude. in order to while away the time he made use of the flora of the neighbourhood in order to study the biology of plants. for this purpose he carried about with him on his walks a morphia syringe, intending to see whether the plants were sensitive to this nerve poison. he wished to prove by experiment that they possess a sensitive nervous system. one afternoon he sat drinking a glass of wine at a garden restaurant on the outskirts of the village. over his table hung the branches of an apple-tree, laden with small red apples. these were suitable for his purpose. accordingly, he stood on his chair, made an insertion with the morphia syringe in the twig which bore the apple, but pressed too hard, so that it fell. at that instant he heard a cry and halloo from the wooded slope behind him, and saw an angry man, followed by his wife and child, come rushing towards him with uplifted stick. "there! i have him at last!" he cried. him! he was mistaken for an apple stealer for whom they had been watching. the norwegian summoned all his buddhistic philosophy to his aid, got down from the chair, and sat expecting to be led off by gendarmes as he had been caught in the act. it was impossible to explain his conduct, for none of the authorities could approve such an eccentric act as the inoculation of an apple-tree with morphia. meanwhile a minute passed while the angry man was running along by a fence and entering the enclosure. like one condemned to death, the norwegian sat there awaiting a blow from the stick as an earnest of what was to follow. he was firmly resolved to die like a warrior, and did not trouble to devise useless explanations, but only thought: "this is the most devilish experience i have had in my whole terrible life." sixty seconds are a long time but they pass at last! whether it was the norwegian's carefully groomed exterior and expensive suit, the wine and the best kind of cigarettes, or something quite different which had a mollifying effect, the angry man, who had certainly not had such a stylish customer before, bared his head, and only asked whether the gentleman had been attended to. the norwegian, answering politely, noticed how the restaurant keeper stared at the morphia syringe, the powder box and the glass of water. with the free-and-easy tone of a man of the world, the norwegian explained the embarrassing situation: "i am a botanist, and was just about to make an experiment when you surprised me in a very suspicious position." "pray, doctor, do as though you were in your own house, and be quite at your ease," was the reply. after exchanging some remarks about the weather, the restaurant keeper went indoors; he muttered something to the waitress which the norwegian thought he overheard. it caused him to take his departure, but in a leisurely way. "he thought i was one of the lunatics," he said to himself. "that was my deliverance. i can't come here again, however." several hours passed, but the impression of the sixty seconds of humiliation and the lifted stick still remained. "that is not mischance; that is something else," was his conclusion, as usual. the next morning he took his walk and meditated on his destiny. "why haven't you shot yourself?" let him say who can. one view was that, finally, all difficulties are disentangled and experience shows that the end is good. this used to be called "hope," and by means of it one warped one's ship half an ell farther, as with a kedge anchor. others maintained that it was curiosity which supported people. they wanted to see the sequel, just as when one reads a novel, or sees a play. the norwegian, for his part, had never found an aim in life. religion certainly said that one should be improved here below, but he had only seen himself forced into situations from which he emerged worse than before. one certainly became a little more tolerant towards one's brother-men, but this tolerance strongly resembled moral laxity. those who smile indulgently at others' crimes are not far from being criminals themselves. when in conversation it was alleged that one should love one's fellow-men, he used to deliver himself of his final sentiment as follows: "i neither love them nor hate them; i put up with them as they put up with me." the fact that he was never entirely crushed by a sorrow sprang from his having an indistinct suspicion that life had no complete reality, but was a dream stage, and that our actions, even the worst of them, were carried out under the influence of some strong suggestive power other than ourselves. he therefore felt himself to a certain extent irresponsible. he did not deny his badness, but knew also that in his innermost being there was an upward, striving spirit which suffered from the humiliation of being confined in a human body. it was this inner personality which possessed the sensitive conscience, which could sometimes, to his alarm, press forward and become sentimental, weeping over his or her wretchedness--which of the two, it was hard to say. then his second self laughed at the foolishness of the first, and this "divine frivolity," as he called it, served him better than morbid brooding. when he came home from his work, he found his door shut. full of foreboding, he knocked and uttered his own name. when the door opened, his young, wild wife fell on his neck. it seemed to him quite natural and simple, as though he had left her two minutes before. she spoke not a word of reproach, inquiry, or explanation, but only this: "have you much money or little?" "why do you ask that?" "because i have much, and want a good dinner in copenhagen." in this they were agreed, and such was their reunion. and why not? two months of torture were forgotten and obliterated as though they had never been; the disgrace of a separation about which people had perhaps already gossiped, had vanished. "if anyone asked me," he said, "about what we had quarrelled i would not be able to remember." "nor i, either. but, therefore, we will never, never part again. we must not separate for half a day, or everything goes crazy." this was certainly the wisest plan, he thought, and so did she. and yet one recollection came into his mind of dover and another of london, when they were not apart for a moment, and just for that very reason everything went quite crazy. but they must not be too particular. "and how is the old father?" he asked. "ah, he was so fond of you that i became jealous." "i have noticed that. how did he receive you?" "well, i won't talk about that. but it was for your sake, so i forgave him." even at that she could smile, as indeed she could at everything. well then, we will feast to-day, and work to-morrow. [footnote 1: intimate friends thus address each other in swedish.] [footnote 2: _vide_ horace.] vi the autumn brought what the spring had promised, but not fulfilled. they lived in a good boarding-house, high up certainly, but with a view over the sea. each of them kept up a slight intercourse with former friends so that they were not always _tãªte-ã -tãªte_. the sun shone, money came in, and life was easy. this lasted for two unforgettable months without a cloud. there was boundless confidence on both sides, without a trace of jealousy. on one occasion, when she had tried mischievously to arouse his, he had said to her: "don't play with madness! be sure that with such play you only arouse my abhorrence and my hatred at the same time, when you introduce into my mental pictures of you the image of another man." but she herself was jealous, even of his male friends, and drove ilmarinen away. there were ladies at the table d'hã´te, and each time that he addressed one of them, she became so indisposed that she had to get up and go. there was no occasion to mistrust his faithfulness to her, but her imperiousness was so boundless, that she could not endure his imparting his thoughts to another, man or woman. when she conducted some business transactions for him with publishers she exceeded her authority and acted rather as his guardian than as his helper. he had to warn her: "remember what i said! if you misuse the power i have given you, i will overthrow you like a tyrant." he did not doubt her goodwill but her want of insight and exaggerated ideas of his capacities caused him inconvenience, and even loss of money. when he took away from her the authority to act for him, she behaved like a naughty child, brought everything into confusion and threw it away as worthless. accordingly, the way was prepared for the inevitable result. one sunday morning they had a disagreement on an important subject, and at last he had shut the door between their two rooms. then he went out. on his return, he found a letter from his wife saying she had gone to a family which they knew in the country, and would be back in the evening. in order to let her feel what solitude is like he made an engagement for the evening with some friends. the evening came. he went out, but about ten o'clock, thinking it cruel to remain longer, he returned home. when he tried to open his door, he found it shut from within. "aha!" he thought. "this is her plan to make me listen to a curtain-lecture in her room." he rang for the servant. "is my wife at home?" "no, she came home at nine, but went out again, in order to meet you, sir." "very well, open the door of my wife's room." that was done, but the door of his room remained locked, as he had locked it himself in the morning. then he made his decision, closed the outer door of the flat, and took possession of his wife's room. after an hour she came and knocked. her husband answered through the closed door: "you can take my room; i hope you can open it." when she found she could not she began to form suspicions and thought he had shut himself in with someone. she naturally would not endure the scandal but sent for the police, on the pretext that a thief had been there, and perhaps was still in the room. the police came; the norwegian dressed himself and admitted them, and they broke open the door between the two rooms. at the same time the door leading to the corridor was opened. a servantmaid said she thought she had heard steps inside the room. before the open window stood a chair so placed as though someone had stood on it in order to climb on the roof. a thief then (or a woman) had clambered on the roof. the police went on it with lanterns, and some of the inmates of the boarding-house followed. a shadow moved by a chimney. a cry rose: "there he is!" the police declared that they could not climb the steep slate roof, and advised them to send for the fire brigade. "but that costs fifty crowns," objected the norwegian. his wife signed a requisition for it, but her husband tore it in two. meanwhile a crowd had collected in the street; the neighbouring roofs were also full of spectators. a cry was raised: "there he is!" they had seized a fellow who had joined the searchers with the good intention of catching the thief. a maid recollected that in the afternoon a traveller had arrived and was sleeping in a neighbouring attic from which he could have easily got into the room. the police made their way into the attic, searched through his papers and found nothing. all the attics were ransacked without result, and at midnight the police departed. then the young wife wished to begin with a whole series of explanations, but her husband was tired of the whole nonsense and could explain nothing. therefore, since nothing more was to be done, he carried his wife into her room and shut the door between them for the second time that day! this demoniacal adventure was never cleared up. the norwegian did not believe there had been a thief, for nothing was missing from the rooms; he thought that his young wife, who had seen many plays, had stuck something in the lock, and that then devils had continued the performance of the comedy. he did not try to elicit what his wife thought, for then he would have been entangled in a web of necessary lies. he therefore made a stroke of erasure through the whole affair. the next morning they were again good friends, but not quite so good as before. how disunion between a married pair arises has not yet been explained. they love one another, only flourish in each other's society, have not different opinions, and suffer when they are separated; their whole united self-interest enjoins them to keep the peace, because it is they especially who suffer when it is not kept. nevertheless, a little cloud arises, one knows not whence; all merits are transformed into faults, beauty becomes ugliness and they confront each other like two hissing snakes; they wish each other miles away, although they know that if they are separated for a moment there begins the pain of longing, which is greater than any other pain in life. here physiology and psychology are non-plussed. swedenborg in his "conjugal love" is the only one who has even approached the solution of the problem, and he has seen that for that purpose higher factors must be taken into consideration than come into the mental purview of most people. this is why a married pair who love each other are obliged again and again to wonder why they hate one another, i.e. why they flee one another although they seek one another. married people who are slightly acquainted with ganot's "physics" may note the resemblance of this phenomenon to that of the electricised elder-pith balls, but this will not make them either wiser or happier. love indeed presents all the symptoms of lunacy, hallucination, or seeing beauty where none exists; profoundest melancholy, varying with extreme hilarity without any transition stage; unreasonable hate; distortions of each other's real opinions (so-called "misunderstandings"); persecution mania, when one believes the other is setting spies and laying snares; sometimes indeed attempts on each other's life, especially with poison. all this has reasons which lie below the surface. the question arises, whether through a married pair's living together, the evil thoughts of one, while still unripened, are not quite clearly apprehended and interpreted by the other, as though they had already entered into consciousness, with the express purpose of being carried into action. nothing annoys a man more than to have his secret thoughts read, and that only a married pair can do to each other. they cannot conceal their dark secrets; one anticipates the other's intentions, and therefore they easily form the idea that they spy on each other, as indeed they actually do. therefore they fear no one's look so much as each other's, and are so defenceless against one another. each is accompanied by a judge who condemns the evil desire while yet in the germ, although no one is answerable for his thoughts to the civic law. accordingly, in marrying, one enters into a relation which stands a grade higher than ordinary life, makes severer demands, more exacting claims, and operates with more finely developed spiritual resources. therefore the christian church made marriage a sacrament, and regarded it rather as a purgatory than a pleasure. swedenborg in his explanation of it, also inclines this way. a married pair are ostensibly one, but cannot be really so. as a punishment they are condemned to feel thorns when they wish to gather roses. according to the proverb: "omnia vincit amor" the power of love is so boundless, that if it were allowed uncontrolled sway, the order of the universe would be endangered. it is a crime to be happy, and therefore happiness must be chastised. our frivolous friends must have felt something of this, for when they had had a tiff, they reconciled themselves without explanations and without alleging reasons, as though it was not they who were to blame for the discord but a third unknown person who had brought about all the confusion. they did so on this occasion also, but the peace did not last long. some days afterwards an indisputable fact was apparent, which in ordinary marriages is accepted with mixed feelings, but in this one met with decided disapproval. the wife was beside herself: "now you have ruined my career; i shall sink down to the level of a nurse and how shall we support ourselves?" there awoke in her a personal grudge against her husband which degenerated into hatred. she was an example of the "independent" woman who protests against the supposed injustice of nature in assigning all the discomfort to her. she forgets that this brief period of pain is followed by an extreme and long-lasting joy which is quite unknown to men. here reasonable considerations were naturally of no avail, and when there were no more smiles, the situation became serious. the scenes between them assumed a tragic character, and just at this crisis an action was brought against him for his last-published book, which was confiscated at the same time. autumn passed, and one felt that the sun had gone. the cheerful top-floor room changed into a never-tidied sick-room--became narrow. her hatred increased continually; she could not go into society, nor to theatres, and hardly on the street. what most annoyed her was the fact that the doctor who had been summoned to declare that she had a dangerous disease, hitherto unknown, only smiled, saying that all the symptoms were normal, and ordered soda-water. instead of an intelligent friend, the norwegian found a malicious, spoilt, unreasonable child at his side, and longed to be out of all this wretchedness. all conversation ceased, and they only carried on communications by writing. but there is a kind of malice bordering on the disgraceful and infamous, which is hard to define but easy to recognise. that is the original sin in human nature, the positive wish to injure without cause, and without being justified in taking vengeance or exacting retribution. this kind of malice is hardly forgivable. one day he received a scrap of paper on which something was written which prevented him going to her room again. then came her ultimatum; she resolved to go to her relations the next day. "i wish you a happy journey," he answered. in the dusk of the early morning a white form stood by his bedside stretching out its arms pleadingly for forgiveness. he did not move but let it stand there. then she fell to the ground, and he let her lie, like an overthrown statue. whence the soft-hearted man, who was always ready to forgive, derived this firmness, this inhuman hardness, he could not understand, but it seemed to him to be imposed on him from without like a duty, or a fiery ordeal which he must go through. he went to sleep again. then he awoke and dressed. he entered the empty room and was conscious of the void. everything was irrevocably at an end! a severe agitation was needed to bring his ego uppermost, and he resolved to drain a draught which was unsurpassed for bitterness. he went back to his native land, from which he had been banished. when he got on the steamer for christiania, he wrote a farewell letter to the captain, went on deck with his revolver, and thought of finding his grave in the kattegat. why did he not carry out this intention? let him say who can! at last he found himself in a small provincial hotel. but why had it to be precisely the one in which lais's friends and relations lived and dominated the social circle in which he must move? he could only regard that as a mean stroke on the part of destiny, for on this occasion he was not to blame at all. meanwhile he sat as on an ant-heap in an alien and hostile environment. for three days long he asked himself: "what have i got to do here?" and he answered: "what indeed have you to do anywhere?" so he remained. for three days he asked himself: "what have you to do in life?" and questioned of the where, whence and whither. as an answer, the revolver lay on the table. hamburg, london, and rã¼gen began to shine like pleasant memories in comparison with this place of exile. it was so dreadful that he was astonished at the inventiveness of destiny in devising new tortures which ever increased in severity. his room in the hotel was a suicide's room, i.e. a combination of discomfort and uncanniness. he was again haunted by the old idea he used to have: "i shall not get alive out of this room; here i must end my days." his capacity for hoping was exhausted. he seemed to be dropping downwards towards the empty void which began to close round him like the last darkness. on the fourth day he received a letter from his sister-in-law in which she told him that his little wife was going on well. at the same time she proposed that he and his wife should spend the winter in a little town in alster, so that her relations could now and then visit his wife who, in her present condition, needed help and advice. it was, then, not at an end! and these pains of death had been endured in vain; he had not needed them in order to be taught to miss his wife. it was not over yet, and he began to live again. as a proof that he had completely come to the end of himself it may be mentioned that the papers in those days contained a notice of his death. he wrote to contradict this in a vein of gloomy irony. he was tormented for three days more by having to run about to collect the journey money. when the train at last stopped at the little station, he saw first of all his wife's pale face. it looked certainly somewhat exhausted by suffering, but beamed at the same time with some of that glorifying radiance which motherhood bestows. when her eyes discovered him, her face lit up. "she loves me," he said to himself. and he began to live again literally not figuratively. "are you well?" he asked almost shyly. "yes i am," she whispered, burying like a child her face in his great cloak and kissing the edge of it. "what are you doing? what are you doing?" and she hid her face in his mantle in order not to show the emotion, of which she was always ashamed. they had engaged two very inferior rooms; one was dark and the other uncomfortable, looking out on a factory. his wife worked in the kitchen and resigned herself to her fate, for her maternal feelings were aroused, though not yet completely. he suffered when he saw her toiling the whole day at the kitchen-range and in the scullery, and sometimes felt a twinge of conscience. when he wished to help her to carry something heavy, she refused to be helped, for she insisted strongly that he should not be seen engaged in any feminine occupation, nor would she allow him to wait on her or to do her any small service. all storms were over now; a quiet stillness prevailed; the days passed one after the other in unvaried monotony. they lived alone together and had no social intercourse nor distractions. but poverty came. the trial about his book had frightened the publishers and theatres. but the worst of all was that he could not write. and what he could write, he did not wish to, for the plot of the story affected a family to whom he owed a debt of gratitude. now when he would soon have two families to provide for, he trembled before the future with its increased duties, for a growing dislike to exercise his calling as an author had finally culminated in disgust. what an occupation--to flay his fellow-creatures and offer their skins for sale. like a hunter who, when pressed hard by hunger, cuts off his dog's tail, eats the flesh, and gives the bone--its own bone--to the dog. what an occupation to spy out people's secrets, expose the birth-marks of his best friend, dissect his wife like a rabbit for vivisection, and act like a croat, cutting down, violating, burning, and selling. fie! in despair he sat down and wrote from his notes a survey of the most important epochs of the world's history. he hoped, or in his need imagined that he might in this way strike out a new path for himself as an historian, which had been the dream of his youth, before he became an author. his wife knew what he was writing and that it would bring in no money, but controlled herself; perhaps his ardent conviction had persuaded her that there was something in it. she did not complain, but on the contrary cheered him up and offered to translate the work into english. a month passed, quiet, peaceful but melancholy. they felt that they were not enough for each other in this absolute loneliness. they lamented it but sought for no society. he, with wider experience than hers, hoped that the child on its arrival would be satisfying company for them both. meanwhile poverty approached nearer. none of his plays were performed or sold, and not one of the hopes of spring had been realised. his children by his first marriage clamoured for money, and food began to be scarce in the house. then came deliverance in the form of an invitation to spend the winter with his wife's grandparents. one evening in december they alighted at a little station in jutland, and drove through woods and wild heath. everything was new and strange. in this house he was now to live as a grandchild, just as during the past summer in her father's house he had been for eight days a child. they reached the ferry in the twilight. the drifting of the ice had begun, but the water had also sunk so low that a sand-bank lay in the middle of the stream, and there a new boat waited for them. from thence a large, white, three-storied house was visible; it looked unfriendly, almost weird, with its projecting wings and high, illuminated windows. they reached the land and found themselves immediately in the ghostly castle. they were conducted up whitewashed stairs over which hung dark oil-paintings in black frames. then he found himself in a warm, well-lighted room, among her relatives, of whom he only knew his mother-in-law. with his incredible pliability, he immediately adapted himself to his position, and behaved like the young relation who under all circumstances must show reverence to his elders. here in the house his right of self-determination ceased; he must conform to other people's views, wills, and habits. in order to spare himself unpleasantness, he had resolved beforehand to have no more likes and dislikes of his own, but to accept all that was offered to him, however strange or repulsive it might appear. the old grandfather was a notary and barrister who had retired with considerable wealth, and only managed his estate as far as was necessary for domestic purposes and for his own amusement. most of his property consisted of hunting-ground and was in that state of neglect which a townsman finds picturesque. he and his wife were both over seventy, and seemed only to be waiting for their end with the cheerful resignation of good-natured, orthodox catholics who are free from care. they had already built for themselves a mausoleum in the garden where their bodies were to repose, and they were accustomed to show it as other people show a summer-house. it was a little whitewashed chapel, with flowers planted round it, which they used to tend as though they already stood there in memory of them. in the house there was a superfluity of good things. after having been half-starved in alster here they found it difficult to avoid gluttony, without vexing their host. pheasants, hare, venison were regular standing dishes which at last became a weariness. "this is our punishment," he said, "because we complained of the manna; now we are stuffed with quails like the murmuring israelites so that it comes out at our throats." a stillness like that of old age supervened; there was no need of care or anxiety in this house where there were as many servants as members of the family. it was easy to live with the old people, who had outgrown special interests, views and passions, and the young pair, who had their own rooms apart, only needed to appear at meal-times. the young wife was now altogether a mother, talked of and with the unborn child as though she knew it well; she was mild and womanly, humble and even thankful towards her husband, whose affections remained unaltered though her shape was disfigured and her beauty faded. "how beautiful life is!" she said. "yes it is; but how long will it last?" "hush!" "i will be silent! but you know that happiness is punished." no one asked what he was working at; on the contrary all that he heard was: "you should do nothing but take a thorough rest after your wild rushing about." accordingly he sent for some books which had been given him some years previously by a rich man and which he had been obliged to send back home. then he began a series of systematic investigations, studied and made notes. he felt a new life and fresh interests awaken; and when he now found his former hypothesis and calculations verified by synthesis and analysis he became certain that he was working by a sure method, and in the right way. this gave him such confidence that he felt justified in pursuing his investigations, but because he could not explain their significance to the uninitiated, his position became somewhat insecure. people had to take him on good faith; they did that so long as peace prevailed, but at the first sign of antipathy he would be helplessly exposed to the ridicule or contemptuous pity of the bystanders. the grandfather was a cultivated man, and therefore curious to know what was going on in the young pair's rooms. when he inquired, he received evasive answers, but since he had been a magistrate and barrister, he required definiteness. when he heard what the norwegian's investigations were concerned with, he confuted them with the authority of the text books. in order to put an end to fruitless strife, his young relative let him believe he was right. but the old man tried to provoke him into contradiction, assumed a superior air and became intrusive. he was allowed to be so for the present. "nothing for nothing!" thought the norwegian. his wife thanked him for his yieldingness and admired his self-control. but discord was fated to come, and it came. the lawsuit in copenhagen about his book extended its operations here also, and one day a court officer came to summon him to appear as defendant in the court of the nearest town. since he had from the beginning challenged the jurisdiction of the copenhagen court, because as a norwegian writer he was not responsible to a danish court, on account of a translation; and since he regarded the whole proceedings as illegal, which indeed they were, he refused to appear. the old man on the other hand insisted that he should do so, especially, perhaps, because he did not like to see gendarmes coming to his house. to put an end to the matter, the norwegian really resolved one morning to go and present his challenge personally in court. he therefore went at eight o'clock and followed the beautiful walk along the river. but about half-way he met the postman and received, by paying cash on its delivery, a long-expected book. this book was extremely expensive, and since he had no money, he had been obliged to devise a plan in order to secure it. after thinking about it for a month, he remembered that he had some valuables stowed away in a box in an attic in norway. he therefore wrote to a friend and asked him to sell the things for a price equivalent to the purchase of the expensive book, to change the money into notes and to send them in an unregistered letter so that no one might know of it. he did this because he felt he was stealing from his wife and family, but it had to be done, as he wished to solve an important problem. as he now held the long-desired means for doing so in his hand, he felt a lightning flash in his soul, and turned home without thinking. "now, i will finish the business," he said to himself; "the gendarmes can come afterwards." as he entered the courtyard the old man stood there, cutting up a deer which he had shot. the norwegian sought to slip past him unperceived, but did not succeed. "have you already been to the judge?" asked the old man sceptically. "no," answered the norwegian curtly, and hurried through the house-door. he ran up the stairs to his room and bolted the door. then he sat down to study. after half an hour he said to himself: "is the greatest problem of modern times solved?" there was a knock at the door, and then another hard and decided. he was obliged to open it in order to get quiet. "why don't you go to the judge?" asked the old man. "that's nothing to do with you," he answered and slammed the door to with a sound like a shot. but now there was no more peace for him! he felt that a crisis had come in his destiny, and he heard voices below. his hand trembled, he felt as though paralysed and closed the book which contained what he sought. at the same moment he lost confidence and dared not face what seemed a contradictory proof of his theory. after some minutes his mother-in-law came. she was not angry, but found it unpleasant to have to tell him that he and his wife must leave the house at once, before dinner. they could have her little one-storied cottage at the bottom of the garden and have their meals sent from the house. his little wife appeared and danced with joy at the thought that they would have a little house of their own, especially with a garden and park round it. the change took place, and now in this cottage began the two happiest months in the life of the married pair. their cottage of grey stone, with little iron-barred windows framed in sandstone, was quite idyllic. it was built in convent style and covered with vine-creepers. the walls of the rooms were painted white, without any hangings, and the low ceilings were supported by thick beams black with age. he had a little room constructed like a real monk's cell, narrow and long with a single small window at the end. the walls were so thick that flower-pots could stand outside in front of the window, as well as inside on the window-ledge. the furniture was old-fashioned and suited its surroundings. here he arranged his library, and never had he felt so comfortable before. but now they had to prepare for the coming of the child. husband and wife painted the window-sills and doors. roses and clematis were planted before the cottage. the garden was dug up and sown. in order to fill up the blank spaces of the great white walls, he painted pictures on them. when all was ready they sat down and admired the work of their hands. "it is splendid," they said; "and now we can receive the child. think how pleased it will be, to see so many pictures the first day!" they waited and hoped; during the long spring evenings they only talked of him or her, guessed which it would be, discussed what name it should have, and speculated on its future. his wife's thoughts for the most part were occupied in wondering whether it would be fair and resemble his boy, whom she loved. she and her family were especially fond of fair people, whether because they resembled light, while the dusky-complexioned reminded one of darkness, would be difficult to say. they believed everything good of fair people and spoke ill of the jews, although the little wife's grandmother on the paternal side was a jewess; among her maternal relations who sprang from schleswig-holstein peasantry the word "jew" was used as a term of reproach. the norwegian's father-in-law was an anti-semite but when he joked at the paradox involved in this, his wife said: "you must not joke at it; we will do that ourselves." at last one day in may as the sun rose, the coming of the unknown traveller was heralded, and after twelve terrible hours it proved to be a girl who at any rate was not dark-haired. this ought to have completed the idyll, but it seemed, on the contrary, to put an end to it. the little one did not seem to thrive in this vale of tears, but cried day and night. nurses were engaged and nurses were dismissed. five women filled the house and each had different views as to the rearing of the child. the father went about like a criminal and was always in the way. his wife thought that he did not love the child and this vexed her so much as to make her suffer. at the same time she herself was completely transformed into a mother to the exclusion of everything else. she had the child in her own bed, and could spend the greater part of the night sitting on a chair absorbed in contemplation of its beauty as it slept. her husband had also to come sometimes and join in her admiration, but he thought the mother most beautiful in those moments when she forgot herself and gazed ecstatically at her child with a happy smile. but a storm approached from without. the people of the neighbourhood were superstitious, and the child's continual crying had given rise to gossip. they began to ask whether it had been baptised. according to law the child should be baptised in the father's religion, but since both he and the mother were indifferent in the matter, the baptism was postponed as something of no importance, especially as there was no catholic priest in the neighbourhood. the child's crying was really not normal, and as the popular opinion of the neighbourhood began to find expression, the grandmother came and asked them to have it baptised. "people are murmuring," she said; "and they have already threatened to stone your cottage." the young unbelievers did not credit this, but smiled. the murmurings, however, increased; it was alleged that a peasant woman had seen the devil in the garden, and that the foreign gentleman was an atheist. there was some foundation for this report, for people who met the two heretics on the roads turned away. at last there came an ultimatum from the old man. "the child must receive catholic baptism within twenty-four hours or the family will be deported across the belt." the norwegian answered: "we protestants are very tolerant in our belief, but if it is made a financial matter, we can be as fanatical as some catholics." the position was serious, for the young pair had not a penny for travelling expenses. his letter was answered with a simple "then go!" the norwegian replied: "to be a martyr for a faith which one does not possess is somewhat fantastic, and i did not expect that we should play the thirty years war over again down here. but look out! the norwegian will come and take his daughter off with his baggage, for he is a norwegian subject." the grandees in the large house began to take a milder tone, but consulted and devised a stratagem. the child was announced to be ill and became worse every day. at last the grandmother came with her retinue and told the father that the child could live no longer, but he did not believe it. on his return from a long walk in the woods the same day he was met by his wife with the news that the child had received discretionary baptism at the hands of the midwife in the presence of the doctor. "into which faith has the child been baptised?" asked the father. "the protestant, of course." "but i don't see how a catholic midwife can give protestant baptism." but as he saw that his wife was privy to the plot, he said no more. the next day the child was well, and there was no more talk of expelling the family. the grandees had conquered. jesuits! the child, which had been expected to unite the pair more closely to each other, seemed to have come to separate them. the mother thought the father cold towards the little one. "you don't love your child," she said. "yes i do, but as a father," he replied. "you should love her as a mother. that is the difference." the fact was that he feared to attach himself too closely to the newly born, for he felt that a separation from the mother was in the air, and to be tied to her by means of the child he felt to be a fetter. she on her side did not know exactly how she wished to have it. if he loved the child, it might happen that he would take it from her when he went away; if he did not love it, he would simply go by himself. for that he would go she felt sure. he had had a dramatic success at paris in the spring, and another play of his was announced for the autumn. he therefore wished to go there, and so did she, but the child hindered her movements, and if he went alone to paris, she felt she would never see him again. many letters with french postmarks came for him now, and these roused her curiosity, for he burnt them at once. this last circumstance, which was quite contrary to his habit, aroused her suspicion and hatred. "you are preparing for a journey?" she said one evening. "yes, naturally," he answered. "i cannot live in this uncertainty; i might be put out on the high road at any time." "you think of deserting us?" "i must leave you in order to do my business in paris. a business journey is not desertion." "yes, then you can go," she said, betraying herself. "i shall go as soon as i get the money for which i am waiting." now the fury in her reappeared. first of all he had to move up into an attic, and although she and the child had the use of two rooms, she deliberately spoilt the remaining third room which was the dining-room and contained specially good furniture. she tore down the curtains, took away the pictures, choked up the room with child's clothes and milk bottles with the sole purpose of showing him who was master in the house. the rooms looked now as though demons had dwelt in them; crockery, kitchen utensils, and children's clothes were strewn on the beds and sofas. she dished up bad meals and the food was often burnt. one day she set before him a plate of bones which the dogs seemed to have gnawed, and a water bottle. this last was an expression of the greatest contempt, for the cellars were full of beer, and no servant ever engaged himself without stipulating that he should have beer at meals. accordingly he was reckoned beneath the men and maidservants. but he kept patient and silent, for he knew that the journey money would arrive. this, however, did not prevent his disgust rising to an equal height with her hatred. he lived now in dirt, destitution, and wretchedness; heard nothing but scolding and shrieking between his wife and the nurse, his wife and the maidservant, his wife and her mother, while the child cried continually. he had an attack of fever and inflammation of the throat, and lay on his bed in the attic. she did not believe that he was ill and let him lie there. on the third day he sent for the doctor, for he could not even drink water. then his fury appeared in the doorway. "have you sent for the doctor?" she asked. "do you know what that costs?" "anyhow it will be cheaper than a funeral, and it may be diphtheria, which is dangerous for the child." "do you think of the child?" "yes, a little." if she could now have dropped him into the sea, she would have done it. but she treated him as though he had the plague. the child, her child, was in danger! "i have experienced much," he said in a whisper, "but never have i seen such intense malice in anyone." and he wept, perhaps for the first time in twenty years; wept over her unworthiness, and perhaps also over his fate and his humiliation. when he regarded his position objectively it seemed monstrous that he, a distinguished man in his own line, should, without fault of his own, lead such a wretched life that even the maidservant pitied him. since he had entered his relative's house, his behaviour; had been unimpeachable. he did not even drink, if only for the reason that there was nothing to drink. since his arrival, his plays had met with success, but instead of making him more respected, as success generally does in the case of ordinary mortals, it only tended to deepen hatred and studied contempt. the fact that he had accepted hospitality from very rich relatives was not bound to weigh heavily on his mind, for he was now legal heir to half the property. but as hate now raged, he was told what his expenses were, and mention was made of payment. again the idea he had formerly had recurred to him, that there was something more than natural in all this, and that an unseen hand was controlling his destiny. the inexplicable non-arrival of the journey money seemed especially designed to prolong his sufferings. when other letters, which he looked for, did not come, he began to suspect that his wife had a finger in the matter. he began to watch the mail-bag which the postman brought, and to write to the post office; naturally, the only result was further ignominy. without having any definite belief, he found himself in a kind of religious crisis. he felt how he sank in this environment where everything hinged on the material and only the animal side of things was prominent--food and excrement, nurses regarded as milch cows, cooks and decaying vegetables; then endless discussions and the display of physical necessities which are usually concealed. at the same time excessively heavy rain had flooded a corridor and two rooms; the water could not be drained off but stagnated and stank. the garden went to ruin as no one looked after it. then he longed that he could get far away, somewhere where there was light and purity, peace, love, and reconciliation. he dreamed again his old dream of a convent within whose walls he might be sheltered from the world's temptations and filth, where he might forget and be forgotten. but he lacked faith and the capacity for obedience. literature at that period had been long haunted by this idea of a convent. in berlin the suggestion had been made to found a convent without a creed for the "intellectuals." these at a time when industrial and economical questions took the first place, were uncomfortable in the dense atmosphere of a materialism which they themselves had been seduced into preaching. he now wrote to a rich friend of his in paris regarding the founding of such a convent; drew up a plan for the building, laid down rules, and went into details regarding the coenobitic life and tasks of the convent brothers. this was in august, 1894. the object proposed was the education of man to superman through asceticism, meditation, and the practice of science, literature, and art. religion was not mentioned, for one did not know what the religion of the future would be, or whether it would possess one at all. his wife noticed that he was becoming separated from her, but she believed that he was thinking of paris with its vanities and distractions, its theatres and cafã©s, gallant adventures and thirst for gold. his possible plans excited her fear and envy. as regards his historical studies, her supercilious smiling had ceased after he had received words of encouragement from a great german and a famous french authority, and naturally had been obliged to show their letters in order to protect himself. since she could no longer criticise his ideas she carried the strife on to another ground and began to plague him with insidious questions as to how much he earned by his historical studies. when his wife was angry she went to the old people and narrated all the small and great secrets which a married pair have between themselves; she also repeated what he in moments of irritation had said about them. she was sorry afterwards, but then it was too late. the spirit of discord was aroused, and the storm could no longer be allayed. when he happened to have money and offered to contribute towards domestic expenses, they were annoyed at his want of tact in wishing to pay rich relatives for inviting him; when he had no money then they uttered jeremiads over the dearness of everything and sent him the doctor's bill. in a word, nothing could be done with such uncontrolled and incorrigible people. he often thought of going on foot and seeking some fellow-countrymen with whose help he might proceed farther. but every time he made the attempt he turned back, as though he had been enchanted and spellbound, to the little stream where the cottage stood. he had spent some happy days there, and the memory of these held him fast. moreover, he was thankful for the past and felt love to the child, though he dared not show it, for then the little one would have become a lime-twig to fetter his wings. one day he had taken a longer walk than usual among the picturesque flooded meadows where the deer sported; the pheasants shot out of the bushes like rockets, their feathers shining with a metallic gleam; the storks fished in the marsh and the loriots piped in the poplars. here he felt well, for it was a lonely landscape where no one ventured to build a house for fear of the great floods. for three-quarters of a year he had come here alone every morning. he did not even let his wife accompany him, for he wished to have this landscape for himself, to see it exclusively with his eyes, and to hear no one else's voice there. if he ever saw this horizon again, he did not wish to be reminded of anyone else. here, accordingly, he was accustomed to find himself again himself and no one else. here he obtained his great thoughts and here he held his devotions. the incomprehensible events of the last weeks and his deep suffering had caused him to change the word "destiny" for "providence," meaning thereby that a conscious personal being guided his course. in order to have a name, he now called himself a providentialist--in other words he believed in god without being able to define more distinctly what he meant by that belief. to-day he felt a pang of melancholy shoot through him as though he were saying farewell to these meadows and thickets. something was impending which he foreboded and feared. on coming home, he found the house empty; his wife and child were gone. when he at last discovered the maidservant and asked where his wife was, she answered impertinently: "she has gone away." "where?" "to odense." he did not know whether he believed it or not. but he found a great charm in the silence and emptiness. he breathed unpoisoned air, enjoyed the solitude, and went to his work with the imperturbable calm of a buddha. his travelling-bag was already packed, and the journey money might come any day. the afternoon passed. as he looked out of the window, he noticed an unusual stillness round the great house; none of the family were to be seen. but a maidservant was going to and fro between the cottage and the house as though she were giving information. once she asked if he wished for anything. "i wish for nothing," he answered. and that was the truth, for his last wish to get out of all this misery had been fulfilled without his having taken a step towards it. he ate his supper alone and enjoyed it; then remained sitting at the table and smoked. his mind accepted this fortunate equipoise of the scales, ready to sink on whichever side it pleased. he guarded himself from forming any wish, fearing lest his wish might be crossed. but he expected something. "if i know women rightly," he said to himself, "she will not be able to sleep to-night without sending a messenger to see whether the victim is suffering according to her calculations." and sure enough his mother-in-law came. "good evening," she said; "are you sitting here alone, my son?" with the stoicism of an indian before the fire which is to roast him, he answered: "yes, i am sitting alone." "and what are you thinking of doing now?" "of going, naturally." "you seem to take this matter very quietly." "why not?" "maria intends to seek for a separation." "i can imagine it." "then you don't love her." "you wish that i should love her in order that i may suffer more." "can you suffer--you?" "you would be glad if i could." "when are you thinking of going?" "when i get the journey money." "you have said that so often." "you don't want to put me out on the high road to-night?" "grandmother is much excited." "then she should read her evening prayers attentively." "one doesn't get far with you." "no, why should i allow it?" "good night." then she went. he slept well and deeply as if after an event which he had long expected. the next morning he woke up with the distinct idea: "she has not gone; she is keeping somewhere in the neighbourhood." when he went out, he saw the maid getting into the ferry-boat with some of the child's things. "ha, ha," then he understood. she was waiting on the other side of the stream. the maid came back soon, after he had watched her manoeuvres on the other side through his opera-glass. "if i only keep quiet now," he thought, "the imperialists are routed." his mother-in-law came and looked uneasy but yielding. "well, now you are alone my son and will never see her any more." "is she then so far away?" "yes." he laughed and looked over the water. "well," said the old woman, "since you know it, go after her." "no, i won't do that." "but she won't come first." "first or last, it is all the same to me." the boat went to and fro with messages the whole day. in the afternoon his mother-in-law came again. "you must take the first step," she said. "maria is desperate and will be ill if you don't write to her and ask her to come again." "how do you know that i want to have her again? a wife who remains a night out of her house has forfeited her conjugal rights and injured her husband's honour." this was an expected parry, and his mother-in-law beat a sudden retreat. she crossed over in the ferry-boat and remained there till evening. he was sitting in his room and writing when his wife entered with an air as though she were sorry for his trouble and came in response to his pressing call. he could have laid her prostrate but did not do so, being magnanimous towards the conquered. when he had his wife and child back in the house he found it just as good as when they were away, perhaps even a little better. in the evening the journey money came. his position was now altered, and he had the keys to the dungeon in his hand. at the same moment his wife saw the matter from another point of view. "do you know," she said, "this life is killing me; i have not read a single book since the child came, and i have not written an article for a year. i will go with you to paris." "let me go in front," he said, "and spy out the land." "then i shall never get away." he persuaded her to remain, without having formed any distinct purpose of leaving her; he only longed to feel himself free for a time at any rate. but she was now ready to leave her child, "the most important person of all," as she called it, in order to come out into the world and play a part there. she knew well that he was not going to seek an uncertain fortune but to reap the fruits of a success which he had already gained. the ambitious and independent woman again came into view, perhaps also the envious rival, for she had moments in which she regarded herself as an author, superior to him. that was when her friends in a letter had called her a "genius"; this letter she left lying about that it might be read. fortunately it was not possible for her to travel just now, because her parents held her back; she had to content herself with the fact that he, who might be considered as expelled, was leaving her. she became mild, emotional, and sensitive, so that the parting was really painful. so he went out into the world again. as the steamer in the beautiful autumn evening worked its way up the river, he saw again the cottage, whose windows were lit up. all the evil and ugliness he had seen there was now obliterated; he hardly felt a fleeting joy at having escaped this prison in which he had suffered so terribly. only feelings of gratitude and melancholy possessed him. for a moment the bond which united him to wife and child drew him so strongly that he wanted to throw himself into the water. but the steamer paddles made some powerful forward strokes, the bond stretched itself, stretched itself, and broke! * * * * * "that was an infernal story," exclaimed the postmaster when the reading was over. "what can one say about it, except what you yourself have said in it? but do you think, generally speaking, that marriage will continue to exist?" "although i regard wife, child and home as desirable objects," answered the doctor, "i do not think lifelong marriages will be long possible" for in our days the individual--man or woman--is too egotistic and desirous of independence. you see yourself the direction which social evolution is taking. we hear of nothing but discontent and divorce. i grant that conjugal life demands consideration and yieldingness, but to live suppressing one's innermost wishes in an atmosphere of contradiction and contrariety, can only end in producing furies. you have been married?" the question came somewhat suddenly and the answer was only given with hesitation: "yes, i have been married but am not a widower." "divorced then?" "yes! and you?" "divorced." "if anyone asked us why, neither you nor i could give a reason." "a reason--no. i only know that if we had continued to live together, i should have ended as a homicide, and she as a murderess. isn't that enough?" "quite enough." and they took their supper. herr bengt's wife "what is love? desire, of course," the young count answered his old preceptor, as they both sat below in the cabin and beguiled the time by talking while waiting off elfsnabben for a favourable wind for their journey to the university of prague. "no, young sir," answered magister franciscus olai. "love is something quite different and something more, which neither high theology nor deep philosophy have been able to express. our over-wise time believes too little, but that is because our fathers believed too much. i was present at the beginning of this period, young sir; i helped to pull down old venerable buildings, ancient, decayed temples of pride and selfishness; i tore pages out of the holy books and pictures from the walls of the churches; i was present, young sir, and helped to shut up the convents, and to announce the abolition of the old faith, but, sir, there are things which all-powerful nature herself has founded, and which we had better not attempt to pull down. i wish to speak now of amor or love, whose fire burns unquenchably when it is rightly bestowed, but when wrongly, can soon be quenched, or even turn to hate when things go quite wrong." "when then is it rightly bestowed? it cannot be so very often," answered the count, settling himself more comfortably on the couch. "often or not, love is like a flash from heaven when it comes, and then it surpasses all our will and all our understanding, but it is different with different people, whether it lasts or not. for in this respect men are born with different dispositions and characters, like birds or other creatures. some are like the wood grouse and black cock who must have a whole seraglio like the grand turk; why it is so we know not, but it is so, and that is their nature. others are like the small birds which take a mate for each year and then change. others again are amiable like doves and build their nests together for life, and when one of them dies, the other no longer desires to live." "have you seen any human beings corresponding to doves?" asked the count doubtfully. "i have seen many, dear sir. i have seen wood cocks who have paired with doves, and the doves have been very unhappy; i have seen male doves who have wedded a cuckoo, and the cuckoo is the worst of all birds, for it likes the pleasure of love, but not the trouble of children, and therefore turns its children out of the nest; but i have also seen wedded doves, sir." "who never pecked each other?" "yes, i have seen them peck when the nest was narrow, and there was trouble about food, but still they were good friends, and that is love. there is also a sea-bird called 'svã¤rt,' sir, which always flies in pairs. if you shoot one, the other descends and lets itself be shot too, and therefore the 'svã¤rt' is called the stupidest of all birds." "that is in the pairing time, venerable preceptor." "no, young sir, they keep together the whole year round and their pairing time is in spring. in the winter when they have no young ones with them, but are alone, they eat together, hunt together, and sleep together. that is not desire, but love, and if this charming feeling can exist among soulless creatures, why can it not among men?" "yes, i have heard of its being found among men, but that it departs after marriage." "that is mere sensual pleasure, which partly goes, but then love comes." "that is only friendship when there is any." "quite right, noble sir, but friendship between those of opposite sex is just love. but there are so many things and so many sides to everything. if you like, i will relate a story which i have seen myself, and from which you may learn something or other. it happened in my youth, forty years ago, but i remember every detail as though it happened yesterday. shall i relate it?" "certainly, preceptor. time goes slowly when one waits for a favourable wind. but bring a light and wine before you begin, for i think your story will not keep one awake." "very likely not you, sir, but it has kept me awake many nights," answered franciscus, and went to fetch what was required. when he had returned and they sat down again on their berths, he began as follows: "this is the story of herr bengt's wife. she was born of noble parentage at the beginning of this century. she was strictly brought up, and, when her parents died, her guardian placed her in a convent. there she distinguished herself by her intense religious zeal; she scourged herself on fridays and fasted on all the greater saint's days. when she reached the age of puberty, her condition became more serious, and she actually attempted to starve herself to death, believing it consistent with the duty of a christian to kill the flesh and to live with god in christ. then two circumstances contributed to bring about a crisis in her life. her guardian fled the country after having squandered her property, and the convent authorities changed their behaviour towards her, for it was a worldly institution which did not at all open its gates for the poor and wretched. when she saw that, she began to be assailed by doubts. doubt was the disease of that time and she had a strong attack of it. her fellow-nuns believed nothing and her superiors not much. "one day she was sent from the convent to visit a sick person. on the way, a beautiful lonely forest path, she met a knight, young, strong, and handsome. she stood and stared at him as though he had been a vision; he was the first man she had seen for five years, and the first man she had seen since she was a woman. he stopped his horse for a moment, greeted her, and rode on. after that day she was tired of the convent, and life enticed her. life with its beauty and attraction drew her away from christ; she had attacks of temptation and outbreaks, and had to spend most of her time in the punishment cell. one day she received a letter smuggled in by the gardener. it was from the knight. he lived on the other side of the lake and she could see his castle from the window of the cell. the correspondence continued. faint rumours began to be circulated that a great change in ecclesiastical affairs was about to take place and that even the convents were about to be abolished and the nuns released from their vows. "then hope awoke in her, but at the same time that she learnt that one could be released from vows, she lost faith in the sanctity of the vow itself, and at one stroke all restraint gave way. she believed now rather in the everlasting rights of her instincts in the face of all social and ecclesiastical laws! "at last she was betrayed by a false friend, and the discovery of the correspondence led to her being condemned to corporal punishment. but fate had ordered otherwise, and on the day that the punishment was to be carried out a messenger came from the king and estates of the realm with the command that the convent was to be closed. the messenger was no other than the knight. he opened for her the doors of the convent in order to offer her freedom and his hand. that closed the first part of her career." "the first?" remarked the count, as he lifted the jar of rhine wine. "isn't the story over? they were married." "no, sir. that is how stories usually end, but the real beginning is just there. and i remember the day after the marriage. i had married them and was her domestic chaplain. the breakfast-table was laid and she came out of her room, beaming as though the whole earth danced on her account, and the sun was only set in the sky to give them light. he was full of courage and felt capable of bearing the whole world on his shoulders. all his thoughts were intent on making life as kind and beautiful for her as he could; and she was so happy that she could neither eat nor drink; she wished only to forget, the existence of the sinful earth. well! she had her fancies, springing from the old time when heaven was all, and earth was nothing; he was a child of the new age who knew that one must live on earth in order to be able to enter heaven afterwards." "and so things came to a crisis?" interrupted the count. "they came to a crisis, as you say. i remember how he ate at the breakfast-table like a hungry man, and she only sat and watched him; but when she talked of birds' songs he talked of roast veal. then he noticed how she had thrown her clothes the evening before on a chair in the dining-room, and reminded her that one must be orderly in a house." "then of course there was hell in the house." "no, it was not so dangerous as that. but it brought a cloud over her sun, and she felt that a breach was opened between them. still she shut her eyes in order not to see it, as one does when near a precipice. then the sky clouded over again. he had secret, melancholy thoughts for his harvest-sheaves were on the field, and he knew that his income depended on them. he wished to take her out to see them, but she begged him to stay at home and not to talk of earth on that day." "earth! what an idiot!" "yes, yes! she was brought up like that; it was the fault of the convent which had taught her to despise god's creation. so her husband remained with her, and proposed that they should go hunting; she accepted the proposal with joy." "a proposal to kill! that was nice!" "yes, according to the views of the period, sir; every period has its own views. but the sky clouded over once more, for this day was not a lucky one for the young knight. the king's bailiff called and desired a special interview with him. the interview was granted and the knight was informed that he would lose his rank as a noble if he did not supply the quota of arms due from him as the king's vassal, which he had neglected to do for five years. the knight had no means of meeting this demand but the bailiff offered to procure him an advance in money in exchange for a mortgage on his estate. so the matter was arranged. but then the question arose how far he should take his wife into his confidence with regard to this matter. he summoned me in order to hear my advice. i thought it was a pity that the young wife should be torn so suddenly out of her dreams of happiness and joy, and i was short-sighted enough to advise that she should not be told the real state of affairs till the first year was over." "in that you were right! why should women mix in business? it would only lead to trouble and confusion and their poor husbands would never have peace." "no, sir, i was wrong, for in a true marriage husband and wife should have full confidence in each other and be one. and what was the result in this case? during the year they grew apart from one another. she lived in her rose-garden and he in the fields; he had secrets concealed from her and worked desperately without having her as his adviser; he lived his own life apart and she, hers. when they met, he had to pretend to be cheerful, and so their whole life became false. finally he became tired and withdrew into himself and so did she." "and so it was all over with their love." "no, sir; it might have been so, but true love goes through worse fires than these. they loved each other still and that was destined to be proved by the tests which they were to pass through. "her child came, and with it commenced a new stage of their life journey. she needed her husband less now for her time was occupied by looking after the child, and her husband felt freer, for so many claims were not made on his tenderness as before. she threw herself heart and soul into the new occupations which absorbed her; she watched through the nights and toiled through the days and would never give up the child to a nurse the contact with reality and the little affairs of life seemed at first to have an intoxicating effect upon her empty soul and she began to find a certain satisfaction in talking with her husband about his fields and their cultivation. but this could not last long. education lies behind us like the seeds of weeds which may remain in the ground for a year or two, but which only need proper cultivation in order to spring up again. one day she looked in the glass and found that she had become pale, thin, and ugly. she saw that the bloom of her youth was past, and her charms decayed. then the woman awoke in her or rather one side of the mysterious being which is called a woman: and then came the longing to be beautiful, to please, to feel herself ruling through her beauty. she was now no longer so eagerly occupied with the child as before, and she began to spend more care on her own person. her husband saw this change with joy, for strange to say although he had at first been glad to observe her desperate zeal about the child and the house, yet when he saw his heart's queen dressed negligently, and marked how pale and wretched she looked, it cut him to the heart. he wished to have back again the charming fairy who had waited with longing at the window for his return home, and at whose feet he wished to worship. so strange is man's heart, and so much leaven does it still retain from the old times of chivalry when woman was regarded as a madonna. "but now came something else. during the first period of her confinement he had become a little tired and careless in his habits; he came and went with his hat on, ate his meals at a corner of the table, and took no pains about his dress. and when his wife began to return to the ways of everyday life he forgot to follow her, and to alter his habits. his wife, who was still somewhat sickly, thought she saw in the relaxing of these courtesies a want of love, and an unfortunate chance afforded her an apparent proof that he was tired of her. "it was an unlucky day! the year was approaching its end when the chief payments would be made. the harvest promised to be bountiful but its overplus could not cover everything. the knight had to find other means of raising money, and he found them. he ordered some fine timber-trees round the courtyard to be cut down, but in so doing, they came too near the house, so that his wife's favourite lime-tree was also cut down. the knight did not know that she had a special liking for it, and the act was quite unintentional. his wife had been ill for a week or two, and when she came into the dining-room she saw that the lime-tree had disappeared; she at once believed that it had been cut down to annoy her. she also noticed that her rose-bushes had withered, for no one had had time to think of such trifles amid all the bustle of bringing in the harvest. this seemed to her another act of unkindness and she sent all the available horses and oxen to fetch water. "now there intervened a new circumstance to hasten the coming misfortune. the bailiff had come to the castle to wait for the bringing in of the harvest, and had an interview with the knight's wife just after she had made the two above-mentioned discoveries. they found that they had known each other as children, and a confidential chat followed, which afforded her some amusement. she liked her visitor's rustic but courteous manners, and the comparison she made between his politeness and her husband's boorishness, was not to the advantage of the latter. she forgot that her husband could be as polite as the bailiff when paying a formal visit, and that the bailiff could be as brusque as he in everyday business. "thus everything was in train for what should happen when her husband came home. the bailiff had gone and left her alone with her thoughts. when her husband came in, he was cheerful, being pleased to see his wife up again, and because the continued dry weather was good for the harvest, which was all now ready cut and could be brought in in a single day. but his wife, depressed by her thoughts, felt annoyed by his cheerfulness, and now the shots went off, one after the other. she asked about her lime-tree, and he said he had cut it down because he required timber; she then asked why he must cut down 'just' the lime-tree which shaded her window; he answered that he had not cut down just that one, but all of them together. "then she began about the rose-bushes. he replied that he had never promised to water them. she, having no answer to this, discovered that he was wearing greased boots, and immediately remarked upon it. he acknowledged his inadvertence and was about to repair it on the spot by drawing them off, but she became furious at such an act of discourtesy. hard words passed between them and she declared that he loved her no more. then the knight answered somewhat in this way: 'i don't love you, you say, because i work for you and don't sit and gossip by your embroidery frame; i don't love you because i am hungry through neglecting food; i don't love you because i don't change my boots when i come for a minute into the room. i don't love you, you say! oh, if you only knew how much i loved you!' "to this his wife replied: 'before we married you loved me and at the same time gossiped by my embroidery frame, took off your boots when you came in, and showed me politeness. what has happened then, to make you change your behaviour?' "her husband answered: 'we are married now.' his wife thought he meant that marriage had given him a proprietary right over her, and that he wished to show this by his free-and-easy demeanour, but this last was simply due to his unshakeable trust in her vow to love him through joy and sorrow, and in her forbearance, if, in order to avoid loss of time, he dropped a number of little empty ceremonies. he was on the point of telling her that it was in order to stave off ruin that he worked in the fields, thought only of crops, tramped in the mud, and brought dirt into the house, but he kept silence, for he thought that in her weak state, she could not bear the shock, and he knew that in twenty-four hours all danger would be passed and the house would be saved. he asked her to forgive him, and they forgave one another, and spoke gently together again. but then came a shock! the steward rushed in and announced that a storm was approaching. the knight's wife was glad that the roses would get rain, but he was not. it seemed to him like the finger of god, and he told his wife everything but bade her at the same time be of good courage. he then gave orders that all the oxen should be yoked and the harvest brought in at once. he was told that they had been sent to fetch water. who had sent them? 'i did,' answered his wife. 'i wanted water for my flowers, which you allowed to be dried up, while i was ill.' "'aren't you ashamed to say you did?' asked the knight. "she answered: 'you plume yourself on having deceived me for a whole year. i have no need to be ashamed of telling the truth, since i have committed no fault, but only met with a misfortune.' then he became furious, went to her with upraised hand, and struck her." "and served her devilish right!" said the count. "fie! fie! young sir! to strike a weak woman!" "why should one not strike a woman, when one strikes children?" "because woman is weaker, sir." "another reason! one cannot get at the stronger, and one must not strike the weaker: whom shall one strike then?" "one should not strike at all, my friend. fie! fie! what sentiments you utter, and you wish to be a soldier!" "yes! what happens in war? the stronger strikes and the weaker is struck. isn't that logic?" "it may be logic, but it is not morality. but do you want to hear the continuation?" "wasn't it over then, with their love at any rate?" "no, sir! not by a long way! love does not depart so easily. well! she believed now just as you do, that it was all over with love, and she asked the bailiff, who came in just then, to make an appeal for separation in her name to the king." "and she wanted to leave her child?" "no, she thought she could take it with her. her pride was wounded to the quick, and she felt crushed under the ruins of her beautiful castle in the air." "and her husband?" "he was pulverised! his dream of wedded love was over, and he was ruined besides, for the rainstorm had carried away and destroyed the whole of his harvest. and when he saw that it was she whom he loved who was the cause of his misfortune he felt resentment in his heart against her, but he loved her still? when his anger had been allayed." "still?" "yes, sir, for love does not ask why. it only knows that it is so. the knight was ruined, and left his house to look after itself while he rode about in the woods and fields. his wife, on the contrary, awoke to a life of energy and diligence and took in hand the whole management of the house; necessity made the little, tender being who never had worked, strong; she sewed clothes for herself and the children; she made payments and looked after the servants, and this last was not the easiest, for the latter had grown accustomed to regard the little spoilt lady as only a guest, but she took hold of affairs with an energetic hand and kept them in order. when money was insufficient she pawned her jewels, and by that means paid wages and cleared off debts. one day when the knight awoke to reflection and came home anxiously to look after the condition of affairs which he regarded as hopeless, he found everything in proper order. when he made inquiries, he was told that his wife had saved everything. then remorse and shame awoke in him and he went to ask her on his knees to forgive him for not having understood and valued her. she forgave him and declared that she had not formerly deserved to be more highly valued, since she did not then possess the qualities which she afterwards acquired. they were reconciled as friends, but she declared that her love was dead, and that she did not intend to be his wife for the future. "their conversation was interrupted by the bailiff, who during this time had lived in the house and helped the wife by his advice and service. her husband felt himself put aside and his place occupied by another; jealousy raged in him, and he forbade his wife to receive a stranger in her rooms. his wife thereupon declared that she would visit the bailiff in his rooms but her husband reminded her that he had rights over her person, since she was still his wife according to the law. but she had that day received by post the decree of separation and told him that she was free and could go where she liked. then when he saw that it was all over, he collapsed and begged her on his knees to remain. when she saw the proud knight crawling on the ground like a slave she lost the last remnants of respect for him, and when she remembered how once in her weakness and misery, she had looked up to him as the one who could carry her in his arms over thorns and stones, she wished to fly from this spectacle. being no more able to find in him, what he had once been to her, she simply went away." "well now," interrupted the count, who began to be bored, "it really was over." "no, no, young sir, it only looked so, but was not. but here i must make a confession. i saw everything with my own eyes, sir, for i was her friend and honoured her in my heart. how foolish i was, i will also confess. we of the old school, who were brought up at the end of the age of chivalry, had learnt to see in woman a creature above the ordinary level of humanity; we revered the outward part, and that which was beautiful and useless; in our ideas that which pleased the eye took the first place. you can well imagine that i, though a seeker of the truth, was so misled by these old ideas, that i thought she was sinking just when she showed the greatest energy and courage. yes, on the very day that the decree of separation came, i had a conversation with her which i can remember as clearly as though i had written it down. i said: 'if you knew how idolatrously high you once stood in my sight. and i saw the angel let her white wings fall, i saw the fairy lose her golden shoe. i saw you the morning after the marriage when you rode on your white horse through the wood, it carried you so lightly over the damp grass and lifted you so high over the mud of the marsh without a spot coming on your silver-bright clothing. for a moment i thought as i stood behind a tree; "suppose she fell!" and my thought turned into a vision. i saw you sink in the mire; the black water spirited over you; your yellow hair lay like sunshine over the white blossoms of the bog of myrtle; you sank and sank till i only saw your little hand; then i heard a falcon scream up in the air and mount up on its wrings till it was lost in the clouds.' but then she answered me so well. 'you said once long ago that reality with all its dirt and sordidness was given us by god, and that we should not curse it, but take it as it is. very well! but now you hint that i have sunk because i am on the way to reconcile myself with this life; i have changed the garment of the rich for that of the poor, since i am poor; i lost my youth when i obeyed the law of nature and became a mother; the beauty of my hands is spoilt by sewing, my eyes are dim with care, the burden of life presses me to the earth but my soul mounts--mounts like the falcon towards the sky and freedom, while my earthly body sinks in the mud amid evil-smelling weeds.' "then i asked if she really believed she could keep the soul above while the body sank, and she answered 'no!' this was because she, like myself, had the delusion that something sank. the body, however, did not sink through work; on the contrary, it was hardened and strengthened; it improved and mounted but did not sink. however, we were both so foolish that we both imagined it did, having been indoctrinated with this view from our youth upwards. we considered white hands, though they might be weak and sickly as more beautiful than those which were hardened and embrowned by toil. so perverse were people's ideas in my youth, sir, and so they are still, here and there. but in my perversity i went farther and advised her to commit a crime 6 loose the falcon and let it mount, i said.' "'i have already thought of that,' she answered, understanding my thought, 'but the chain is strong.' "'i have the key to it,' i replied. "she asked me to give it her, and received from me a bottle of poison. "now i return to the story where i left it off. it was where she had left her husband's room to seek the bailiff in the upper story. when she came there she had to wait, for the bailiff had visitors. she also received a lesson, for none of her married friends would greet her, because she had dissolved her marriage. one of these friends had been unfaithful to her husband and had a lover but she thought herself too good to take frau margit's hand. what is one to say to that? at that time it was considered one of the greatest crimes to dissolve a marriage, but now, thank heaven! our ideas have changed. she came, as i have said, to the bailiff to ask his advice as she had done all the time when difficulties arose. "did she love him? probably not; but the heart is never so likely to deceive itself as in such cases. she imagined that she did, because she thought she had lost her husband and by birth and upbringing she was not adapted to stand alone. "but the bailiff was another sort of man. he was like one of those birds with a seraglio which i spoke of, and if he had not been so cowardly, he would have already enticed the knight's wife. but he did not do it, for he saw that this fruit would drop when it was ripe enough. therefore he waited. but he had another characteristic; he was as vain as a cock in a hen-house, and thought that he was a terrible fellow whom no woman could resist. so when he overheard frau margit say that she intended visiting him in his room, he believed that the time had come, and made elaborate preparations to receive her. she came quite unsuspiciously, for she trusted his friendship and devotion to her interests. she wished to speak of the serious prospect which lay before her; he spoke of his love and she did not wish to listen. she was legally free but still felt herself bound. the might of memory held her and perhaps the old love had a word to say in the matter. the bailiff became bolder and begged for her love on his knees. then she despised him. his vanity was wounded, he forgot himself, threw the mask aside, and wished to use force. i came accidentally there and was able to give him the _coup de grã¢ce_ by telling frau margit that he was engaged to be married. there was nothing left for him but to withdraw. "but she had already, when her last hope collapsed and her last dream vanished, used the key to open the gate of eternity; i who knew that the poison required an hour to produce its effect, used the opportunity to speak to her, as one speaks to the dying. ah! certainly the love of mortals for this wretched life is great, and at such moments the human soul is turned upside down; what lies at the bottom comes uppermost, old memories revive; old beliefs, however absurd and however rightly they may have been rejected, arise again, and i woke up in her the old ideas of duty, foolish perhaps, but necessary now. i brought her so far that she wished to live and commence again a life of renunciation and reflection in the convent. but since the convent no longer existed i persuaded her to be willing to exchange it for the imprisonment of home, where there is plenty of opportunity for penance in mutual self-denial, for devotion in the fulfilment of duties and in obedience. she fought against her pride and regretted her surrender, she raged against life, which had deceived her, and against men who had lied and said that life was a pleasure-garden. in this matter i agreed with her, for the unhappiness in most marriages arises from the fact that people persuade the married pair that they will find absolute happiness in marriage, whereas happiness is not to be found in life at all. "she was frantic, but an accident came to my aid. her child, whose room was underneath us, began to cry. she was shaken to her depths, and said that she was willing to live for her child's sake, in order to teach it that life is not what people describe it to be. she did not wish to leave it to the same fate which she had escaped. she did not speak of her husband; whether she thought of him or not, i cannot say. i who had given her the poison, knew where the antidote was; but as i still wished to keep her in fear, i gave her less hope than i myself possessed. "i went away, and when i returned, i found her in her husband's arms. he had found her on the stairs, where she had fallen down in a swoon. all was forgiven and all was forgotten. you think that strange? but have you not forgiven your mother although she chastised you, and does not your mother love you, although you have deceived her, and caused her grief and anxiety. this last agitation had convulsed her soul so that the old love lay uppermost like a clear pearl, which has been fished up from the miry bottom of the sea where it lay hidden in a dirty mollusc. but she still struggled with her pride and said she would not love him, although she did love him. i never forget his answer, which contains the whole riddle, 'you did not wish to love me, margit,' he said, 'for your pride forbade it, but you love me still. you love me, although i raised my hand against you, and although i was shamefully cowardly when the trouble came. i wished to hate you when you left me; i wished to kill you, because you were willing to sacrifice your child, and still i love you. do you not now believe in the power of love over our evil wills?' "so he said; and i say now like the fabulist: this fable teaches that love is a great power which passes all understanding and against which our wills can do nothing. love bears all things, gives up all things, and of faith, hope, and love, sir, love is the greatest." "well, how did they go on afterwards?" asked the count. "i was no longer with them." "they probably continued to quarrel." "i know that they have disagreements sometimes, for these must happen when there are different opinions, but i know also that neither wishes to domineer over the other. they go their way, making less demands on life than before and therefore they are as happy as one can be when one takes life as it is. that was what the old period with its claim of being able to make a heaven on earth could not do, but what the new period has learnt." the end the girl from the marsh croft by selma lagerlöf author of "the story of gösta berling," "the miracles of antichrist," "invisible links," etc. _translated from the swedish_ by velma swanston howard garden city new york doubleday, page & company 1916 _copyright, 1910, by_ doubleday, page & company _all rights reserved, including that of translation into foreign languages._ prefatory note readers of miss lagerlöf will observe that in this, her latest book, "the girl from the marsh croft," the swedish author has abandoned her former world of romanticism and has entered the field of naturalism and realism. this writer's romantic style is most marked, perhaps, in her first successful work, "gösta berling." how "the story of gösta berling" grew, and the years required to perfect it, is told in the author's unique literary autobiography, "the story of a story," which is embodied in the present volume. in "the girl from the marsh croft" miss lagerlöf has courageously chosen a girl who had gone astray as the heroine of her love story, making her innate honesty and goodness the redemptive qualities which win for her the love of an honest man and the respect and esteem of all. to the kindness of the publishers of _good housekeeping_, i am indebted for permission to include "the legend of the christmas rose" in this volume. this book is translated and published with the sanction of the author, selma lagerlöf. contents i. the girl from the marsh croft 3 ii. the silver mine 99 iii. the airship 125 iv. the wedding march 163 v. the musician 173 vi. the legend of the christmas rose 189 vii. a story from jerusalem 219 viii. why the pope lived to be so old 235 ix. the story of a story 257 the girl from the marsh croft i it took place in the court room of a rural district. at the head of the judges' table sits an old judge--a tall and massively built man, with a broad, rough-hewn visage. for several hours he has been engaged in deciding one case after another, and finally something like disgust and melancholy has taken hold of him. it is difficult to know if it is the heat and closeness of the court room that are torturing him or if he has become low-spirited from handling all these petty wrangles, which seem to spring from no other cause than to bear witness to people's quarrel-mania, uncharitableness, and greed. he has just begun on one of the last cases to be tried during the day. it concerns a plea for help in the rearing of a child. this case had already been tried at the last court session, and the protocols of the former suit are being read; therefore one learns that the plaintiff is a poor farmer's daughter and the defendant is a married man. moreover, it says in the protocol, the defendant maintains that the plaintiff has wrongfully, unjustly, and only with the desire of profiting thereby, sued the defendant. he admits that at one time the plaintiff had been employed in his household, but that during her stay in his home he had not carried on any intrigue with her, and she has no right to demand assistance from him. the plaintiff still holds firmly to her claim, and after a few witnesses have been heard, the defendant is called to take the oath and show cause why he should not be sentenced by the court to assist the plaintiff. both parties have come up and are standing, side by side, before the judges' table. the plaintiff is very young and looks frightened to death. she is weeping from shyness and with difficulty wipes away the tears with a crumpled handkerchief, which she doesn't seem to know how to open out. she wears black clothes, which are quite new and whole, but they fit so badly that one is tempted to think she has borrowed them in order to appear before the court of justice in a befitting manner. as regards the defendant, one sees at a glance that he is a prosperous man. he is about forty and has a bold and dashing appearance. as he stands before the court, he has a very good bearing. one can see that he does not think it a pleasure to stand there, but he doesn't appear to be the least concerned about it. as soon as the protocols have been read, the judge turns to the defendant and asks him if he holds fast to his denials and if he is prepared to take the oath. to these questions the defendant promptly answers a curt yes. he digs down in his vest pocket and takes out a statement from the clergyman who attests that he understands the meaning and import of the oath and is qualified to take it. all through this the plaintiff has been weeping. she appears to be unconquerably bashful, and doggedly keeps her eyes fixed upon the floor. thus far she has not raised her eyes sufficiently to look the defendant in the face. as he utters his "yes," she starts back. she moves a step or two nearer the court, as if she had something to say to the contrary, and then she stands there perplexed. it is hardly possible, she seems to say to herself; he cannot have answered yes. i have heard wrongly. meanwhile the judge takes the clergyman's paper and motions to the court officer. the latter goes up to the table to find the bible, which lies hidden under a pile of records, and lays it down in front of the defendant. the plaintiff hears that some one is walking past her and becomes restless. she forces herself to raise her eyes just enough to cast a glance over the table, and she sees then how the court officer moves the bible. again it appears as though she wished to raise some objection, and again she controls herself. it isn't possible that he will be allowed to take the oath. surely the judge must prevent him! the judge is a wise man and knows how people in her home district think and feel. he knew, very likely, how severe all people were as soon as there was anything which affected the marriage relation. they knew of no worse sin than the one she had committed. would she ever have confessed anything like this about herself if it were not true? the judge must understand the awful contempt that she had brought down upon herself, and not contempt only, but all sorts of misery. no one wanted her in service--no one wanted her work. her own parents could scarcely tolerate her presence in their cabin and talked all the while of casting her out. oh, the judge must know that she would never have asked for help from a married man had she no right to it. surely the judge could not believe that she lied in a case like this; that she would have called down upon herself such a terrible misfortune if she had had any one else to accuse than a married man. and if he knows this, he must stop the oath-taking. she sees that the judge reads through the clergyman's statements a couple of times and she begins to think he intends to interfere. true, the judge has a wary look. now he shifts his glance to the plaintiff, and with that his weariness and disgust become even more marked. it appears as though he were unfavorably disposed toward her. even if the plaintiff is telling the truth, she is nevertheless a bad woman and the judge cannot feel any sympathy for her. sometimes the judge interposes in a case, like a good and wise counsellor, and keeps the parties from ruining themselves entirely. but to-day he is tired and cross and thinks only of letting the legal process have its course. he lays down the clergyman's recommendation and says a few words to the defendant to the effect that he hopes he has carefully considered the consequences of a perjured oath. the defendant listens to him with the calm air which he has shown all the while, and he answers respectfully and not without dignity. the plaintiff listens to this in extreme terror. she makes a few vehement protests and wrings her hands. now she wants to speak to the court. she struggles frightfully with her shyness and with the sobs which prevent her speaking. the result is that she cannot get out an audible word. then the oath will be taken! she must give it up. no one will prevent him from swearing away his soul. until now, she could not believe this possible. but now she is seized with the certainty that it is close at hand--that it will occur the next second. a fear more overpowering than any she has hitherto felt takes possession of her. she is absolutely paralyzed. she does not even weep more. her eyes are glazed. it is his intention, then, to bring down upon himself eternal punishment. she comprehends that he wants to swear himself free for the sake of his wife. but even if the truth were to make trouble in his home, he should not for that reason throw away his soul's salvation. there is nothing so terrible as perjury. there is something uncanny and awful about that sin. there is no mercy or condonation for it. the gates of the infernal regions open of their own accord when the perjurer's name is mentioned. if she had then raised her eyes to his face, she would have been afraid of seeing it stamped with damnation's mark, branded by the wrath of god. as she stands there and works herself into greater and greater terror, the judge instructs the defendant as to how he must place his fingers on the bible. then the judge opens the law book to find the form of the oath. as she sees him place his fingers on the book, she comes a step nearer, and it appears as though she wished to reach across the table and push his hand away. but as yet she is restrained by a faint hope. she thinks he will relent now--at the last moment. the judge has found the place in the law book, and now he begins to administer the oath loudly and distinctly. then he makes a pause for the defendant to repeat his words. the defendant actually starts to repeat, but he stumbles over the words, and the judge must begin again from the beginning. now she can no longer entertain a trace of hope. she knows now that he means to swear falsely--that he means to bring down upon himself the wrath of god, both for this life and for the life to come. she stands wringing her hands in her helplessness. and it is all her fault because she has accused him! but she was without work; she was starving and freezing; the child came near dying. to whom else should she turn for help? never had she thought that he would be willing to commit such an execrable sin. the judge has again administered the oath. in a few seconds the thing will have been done: the kind of thing from which there is no turning back--which can never be retrieved, never blotted out. just as the defendant begins to repeat the oath, she rushes forward, sweeps away his outstretched hand, and seizes the bible. it is her terrible dread which has finally given her courage. he must not swear away his soul; he must not! the court officer hastens forward instantly to take the bible from her and to bring her to order. she has a boundless fear of all that pertains to a court of justice and actually believes that what she has just done will bring her to prison; but she does not let go her hold on the bible. cost what it may, he cannot take the oath. he who would swear also runs up to take the bible, but she resists him too. "you shall not take the oath!" she cries, "you shall not!" that which is happening naturally awakens the greatest surprise. the court attendants elbow their way up to the bar, the jurymen start to rise, the recording clerk jumps up with the ink bottle in his hand to prevent its being upset. then the judge shouts in a loud and angry tone, "silence!" and everybody stands perfectly still. "what is the matter with you? what business have you with the bible?" the judge asks the plaintiff in the same hard and severe tone. since, with the courage of despair, she has been able to give utterance to her distress, her anxiety has decreased so that she can answer, "he must not take the oath!" "be silent, and put back the book!" demands the judge. she does not obey, but holds the book tightly with both hands. "he cannot take the oath!" she cries fiercely. "are you so determined to win your suit?" asks the judge sharply. "i want to withdraw the suit," she shrieks in a high, shrill voice. "i don't want to force him to swear." "what are you shrieking about?" demands the judge. "have you lost your senses?" she catches her breath suddenly and tries to control herself. she hears herself how she is shrieking. the judge will think she has gone mad if she cannot say what she would say calmly. she struggles with herself again to get control of her voice, and this time she succeeds. she says slowly, earnestly, and clearly, as she looks the judge in the face: "i wish to withdraw the suit. he is the father of the child. i am still fond of him. i don't wish him to swear falsely." she stands erect and resolute, facing the judges' table, all the while looking the judge square in the face. he sits with both hands resting on the table and for a long while does not take his eyes off from her. while the judge is looking at her, a great change comes over him. all the ennui and displeasure in his face vanishes, and the large, rough-hewn visage becomes beautiful with the most beautiful emotion. "ah, see!" he thinks--"ah, see! such is the mettle of my people. i shall not be vexed at them when there is so much love and godliness even in one of the humblest." suddenly the judge feels his eyes fill up with tears; then he pulls himself together, almost ashamed, and casts a hasty glance about him. he sees that the clerks and bailiffs and the whole long row of jurymen are leaning forward and looking at the girl who stands before the judges' table with the bible hugged close to her. and he sees a light in their faces, as though they had seen something very beautiful, which had made them happy all the way into their souls. then the judge casts a glance over the spectators, and he sees that they all breathe a quick sigh of relief, as if they had just heard what they had longed above everything to hear. finally, the judge looks at the defendant. now it is _he_ who stands with lowered head and looks at the floor. the judge turns once more to the poor girl. "it shall be as you wish," he says. "the case shall be stricken from the calendar,"--this to the recording clerk. the defendant makes a move, as though he wished to interpose an objection. "well, what now?" the judge bellows at him. "have you anything against it?" the defendant's head hangs lower and lower, and he says, almost inaudibly, "oh, no, i dare say it is best to let it go that way." the judge sits still a moment more, and then he pushes the heavy chair back, rises, and walks around the table and up to the plaintiff. "thank you!" he says and gives her his hand. she has laid down the bible and stands wiping away the tears with the crumpled up handkerchief. "thank you!" says the judge once more, taking her hand and shaking it as if it belonged to a real man's man. ii let no one imagine that the girl who had passed through such a trying ordeal at the bar of justice thought that she had done anything praiseworthy! on the contrary, she considered herself disgraced before the whole court room. she did not understand that there was something honorable in the fact that the judge had gone over and shaken hands with her. she thought it simply meant that the trial was over and that she might go her way. nor did she observe that people gave her kindly glances and that there were several who wanted to press her hand. she stole by and wanted only to go. there was a crush at the door. the court was over and many in their hurry to get out made a rush for the door. she drew aside and was about the last person to leave the court room because she felt that every one else ought to go before her. when she finally came out, gudmund erlandsson's cart stood in waiting at the door. gudmund was seated in the cart, holding the reins, and was apparently waiting for some one. as soon as he saw her among all the people who poured out of the court room, he called to her: "come here, helga! you can ride with me since we are going in the same direction." although she heard her name, she could not believe that it was she whom he was calling. it was not possible that gudmund erlandsson wanted to ride with her. he was the most attractive man in the whole parish, young and handsome and of good family connections and popular with every one. she could not imagine that he wished to associate with her. she was walking with the head shawl drawn far down on her forehead, and was hastening past him without either glancing up or answering. "don't you hear, helga, that you can ride with me?" said gudmund, and there was a friendly note in his voice. but she couldn't grasp that gudmund meant well by her. she thought that, in one way or another, he wished to make sport of her and was only waiting for those who stood near by to begin tittering and laughing. she cast a frightened and indignant glance at him, and almost ran from the court house grounds to be out of earshot when the laughter should start in. gudmund was unmarried at that time and lived at home with his parents. his father was a farm-owner. his was not a large farm and he was not rich, but he made a good living. the son had gone to the court house to fetch some deeds for his father, but as there was also another purpose in the trip, he had groomed himself carefully. he had taken the brand-new trap with not a crack in the lacquering, had rubbed up the harness and curried the horse until he shone like satin. he had placed a bright red blanket on the seat beside him, and himself he had adorned with a short hunting-jacket, a small gray felt hat, and top boots, into which the trousers were tucked. this was no holiday attire, but he probably knew that he looked handsome and manly. gudmund was seated alone in the cart when he drove from home in the morning, but he had agreeable things to think of and the time had not seemed long to him. when he had arrived about half-way, he came across a poor young girl who was walking very slowly and looked as though she were scarcely able to move her feet because of exhaustion. it was autumn and the road was rain-soaked, and gudmund saw how, with every step, she sank deeper into the mud. he stopped and asked where she was going. when he learned that she was on her way to the court house, he invited her to ride. she thanked him and stepped up on the back of the cart to the narrow board where the hay sack was tied, as though she dared not touch the red blanket beside gudmund. nor was it his meaning that she should sit beside him. he didn't know who she was, but he supposed her to be the daughter of some poor backwoodsman and thought the rear of the cart was quite good enough for her. when they came to a steep hill and the horse began to slow up, gudmund started talking. he wanted to know her name and where she was from. when he learned that her name was helga, and that she came from a backwoods farm called big marsh, he began to feel uneasy. "have you always lived at home on the farm or have you been out to service?" he asked. the past year she had been at home, but before this she had been working out. "where?" asked gudmund hastily. he thought it was a long while before the answer was forthcoming. "at the west farm, with per mårtensson," she said finally, sinking her voice as if she would rather not have been heard. but gudmund heard her. "indeed! then it is you who--" said he, but did not conclude his meaning. he turned from her, and sat up straight in his seat and said not another word to her. gudmund gave the horse rap upon rap and talked loudly to himself about the wretched condition of the road and was in a very bad humor. the girl sat still for a moment; presently gudmund felt her hand upon his arm. "what do you wish?" he asked without turning his head. oh, he was to stop, so she could jump out. "why so?" sneered gudmund. "aren't you riding comfortably?" "yes, thank you, but i prefer to walk." gudmund struggled a little with himself. it was provoking that he should have bidden a person of helga's sort to ride with him to-day of all days! but he thought also that since he had taken her into the wagon, he could not drive her out. "stop, gudmund!" said the girl once again. she spoke in a very decided tone, and gudmund drew in the reins. "it is she, of course, who wishes to step down," thought he. "i don't have to force her to ride against her will." she was down on the road before the horse had time to stop. "i thought you knew who i was when you asked me to ride," she said, "or i should not have stepped into the cart." gudmund muttered a short good-bye and drove on. she was doubtless right in thinking that he knew her. he had seen the girl from the marsh croft many times as a child, but she had changed since she was grown up. at first he was very glad to be rid of the travelling companion, but gradually he began to feel displeased with himself. he could hardly have acted differently, yet he did not like being cruel to any one. shortly after gudmund had parted from helga, he turned out of the road and up a narrow street, and came to a large and fine estate. as gudmund drew up before the gate, the house door opened and one of the daughters appeared. gudmund raised his hat; at the same time a faint flush covered his face. "wonder if the juryman is at home?" said he. "no, father has gone down to the court house," replied the daughter. "oh, then he has already gone," said gudmund. "i drove over to ask if the juryman would ride with me. i'm going to the court house." "father is always so punctual!" bewailed the daughter. "it doesn't matter," said gudmund. "father would have been pleased, i dare say, to ride behind such a fine horse and in such a pretty cart as you have," remarked the girl pleasantly. gudmund smiled a little when he heard this commendation. "well, then, i must be off again," said he. "won't you step in, gudmund?" "thank you, hildur, but i'm going to the court house, you know. it won't do for me to be late." now gudmund takes the direct road to the court house. he was very well pleased with himself and thought no more of his meeting with helga. it was fortunate that only hildur had come out on the porch and that she had seen the cart and blanket, the horse and harness. she had probably taken note of everything. this was the first time gudmund had attended a court. he thought that there was much to see and learn, and remained the whole day. he was sitting in the court room when helga's case came up; saw how she snatched the bible and hugged it close, and saw how she defied both court attendants and judge. when it was all over and the judge had shaken hands with helga, gudmund rose quickly and went out. he hurriedly hitched the horse to the cart and drove up to the steps. he thought helga had been brave, and now he wished to honor her. but she was so frightened that she did not understand his purpose, and stole away from his intended honor. the same day gudmund came to the marsh croft late in the evening. it was a little croft, which lay at the base of the forest ridge that enclosed the parish. the road leading thither was passable for a horse only in winter, and gudmund had to go there on foot. it was difficult for him to find his way. he came near breaking his legs on stumps and stones, and he had to wade through brooks which crossed the path in several places. had it not been for the bright moonlight, he could not have found his way to the croft. he thought it was a very hard road that helga had to tramp this day. big marsh croft lay on the clearing about half-way up the ridge. gudmund had never been there before, but he had often seen the place from the valley and was sufficiently familiar with it to know that he had gone aright. all around the clearing lay a hedge of brushwood, which was very thick and difficult to get through. it was probably meant to be a kind of defence and protection against the whole wilderness that surrounded the croft. the cabin stood at the upper edge of the enclosure. before it stretched a sloping house-yard covered with short, thick grass; and below the yard lay a couple of gray outhouses and a larder with a moss-covered roof. it was a poor and humble place, but one couldn't deny that it was picturesque up there. the marsh, from which the croft had derived its name, lay somewhere near and sent forth mists which rose, beautiful, splendid, and silvery, in the moonlight, forming a halo around the marsh. the highest peak of the mountain loomed above the mist, and the ridge, prickly with pines, was sharply outlined against the horizon. over the valley shone the moon. it was so light that one could distinguish fields and orchards and a winding brook, over which the mists curled, like the faintest smoke. it was not very far down there, but the peculiar thing was that the valley lay like a world apart, with which the forest and all that belonged to it seemed to have nothing in common. it was as if the people who lived here in the forest must ever remain under the shadow of these trees. they might find it quite as hard to feel contented down in the valley as woodcock and eagle-owl and lynx and star-flowers. gudmund tramped across the open grass-plot and up to the cabin. there a gleam of firelight streamed through the window. as there were no shades at the windows, he peeped into the cabin to see if helga was there. a small lamp burned on the table near the window, and there sat the master of the house, mending old shoes. the mistress was seated farther back in the room, close to the fireplace, where a slow fire burned. the spinning-wheel was before her, but she had paused in her work to play with a little child. she had taken it up from the cradle, and gudmund heard how she prattled to it. her face was lined and wrinkled and she looked severe. but, as she bent over the child, she had a mild expression and she smiled as tenderly at the little one as his own mother might have done. gudmund peered in, but could not see helga in any corner of the cabin. then he thought it was best to remain outside until she came. he was surprised that she had not reached home. perhaps she had stopped on the way somewhere to see an acquaintance and to get some food and rest? at all events, she would have to come back soon if she wished to be indoors before it was very late at night. gudmund stood still a moment and listened for footsteps. he thought that never before had he sensed such stillness. it was as though the whole forest held its breath and stood waiting for something extraordinary to happen. no one tramped in the forest, no branch was broken, and no stone rolled down. "surely, helga won't be long in coming! i wonder what she will say when she sees that i'm here?" thought gudmund. "perhaps she will scream and rush into the forest and will not dare come home the whole night!" at the same time it struck him as rather strange that now, all of a sudden, he had so much business with that marsh croft girl! on his return from the court house to his home, he had, as usual, gone to his mother to relate his experiences of the day. gudmund's mother was a sensible and broad-minded woman who had always understood how to treat her son, and he had as much confidence in her now as when he was a child. she had been an invalid for several years and could not walk, but sat all day in her chair. it was always a good hour for her when gudmund came home from an outing and brought her the news. when gudmund had told his mother about helga from big marsh, he observed that she became thoughtful. for a long while she sat quietly and looked straight ahead. "there seems to be something good in that girl still," she remarked. "it will never do to condemn a person because she has once met with misfortune. she might be very grateful to any one who helped her now." gudmund apprehended at once what his mother was thinking of. she could no longer help herself, but must have some one near her continually, and it was always difficult to find anybody who cared to remain in that capacity. his mother was exacting and not easy to get on with, and, moreover, all young folk preferred other work where they could have more freedom. now, it must have occurred to his mother that she ought to take helga from big marsh into her service, and gudmund thought this a capital idea. helga would certainly be very devoted to his mother. "it will be hard for the child," remarked the mother after a little, and gudmund understood that she was thinking seriously of the matter. "surely the parents would let it stay with them?" said gudmund. "it does not follow that she wants to part with it." "she will have to give up thinking of what she wants or doesn't want. i thought that she looked starved out. they can't have much to eat at the croft," said the son. to this his mother made no reply, but began to talk of something else. it was evident that some new misgivings had come to her, which hindered her from coming to a decision. then gudmund told her of how he had found a pretext for calling at the juryman's at älvåkra and had met hildur. he mentioned what she had said of the horse and wagon, and it was easily seen that he was pleased with the meeting. his mother was also very much pleased. where she sat in the cottage, unable to move from her chair, it was her constant occupation to spin plans for her son's future, and it was she who had first hit upon the idea that he should try and set his cap for the pretty daughter of the juryman. it was the finest match he could make. the juryman was a yeoman farmer. he owned the largest farm in the parish and had much money and power. it was really absurd to hope that he would be satisfied with a son-in-law with no more wealth than gudmund, but it was also possible that he would conform to his daughter's wishes. that gudmund could win hildur if he so wished, his mother was certain. this was the first time gudmund had betrayed to his mother that her thought had taken root in him, and they talked long of hildur and of all the riches and advantages that would come to the chosen one. soon there was another lull in the conversation, for his mother was again absorbed in her thoughts. "couldn't you send for this helga? i should like to see her before taking her into my service," said the mother finally. "it is well, mother, that you wish to take her under your wing," remarked gudmund, thinking to himself that if his mother had a nurse with whom she was satisfied, his wife would have a pleasanter life here. "you'll see that you will be pleased with the girl," he continued. "then, too, it would be a good deed to take her in hand," added the mother. as it grew dusk, the invalid retired, and gudmund went out to the stable to tend the horses. it was beautiful weather, with a clear atmosphere, and the whole tract lay bathed in moonlight. it occurred to him that he ought to go to big marsh to-night and convey his mother's greeting. if the weather should continue clear on the morrow, he would be so busy taking in oats that neither he nor any one else would find time to go there. now that gudmund was standing outside the cabin at big marsh croft listening, he certainly heard no footsteps. but there were other sounds which at short intervals pierced through the stillness. he heard a soft weeping, a very low and smothered moaning, with now and then a sob. gudmund thought that the sounds came from the outhouse lane, and he walked toward it. as he was nearing, the sobs ceased; but it was evident that some one moved in the woodshed. gudmund seemed to comprehend instantly who was there. "is it you, helga, who sit here and weep?" asked gudmund, placing himself in the doorway so that the girl could not rush away before he had spoken with her. again it was perfectly still. gudmund had guessed rightly that it was helga who sat there and wept; but she tried to smother the sobs, so that gudmund would think he had heard wrongly and go away. it was pitch dark in the woodshed, and she knew that he could not see her. but helga was in such despair that evening it was not easy for her to keep back the sobs. she had not as yet gone into the cabin to see her parents. she hadn't had the courage to go in. when she trudged up the steep hill in the twilight and thought of how she must tell her parents that she was not to receive any assistance from per mårtensson in the rearing of her child, she began to fear all the harsh and cruel things she felt they would say to her and thought of burying herself in the swamp. and in her terror she jumped up and tried to rush past gudmund; but he was too alert for her. "oh, no! you sha'n't get by before i have spoken with you." "only let me go!" she said, looking wildly at him. "you look as though you wanted to jump into the river," said he; for now she was out in the moonlight and he could see her face. "well, what matters it if i did?" said helga, throwing her head back and looking him straight in the eye. "this morning you didn't even care to have me ride on the back of your cart. no one wants to have anything to do with me! you must surely understand that it is best for a miserable creature like me to put an end to herself." gudmund did not know what to do next. he wished himself far away, but he thought, also, that he could not desert a person who was in such distress. "listen to me! only promise that you will listen to what i have to say to you; afterwards you may go wherever you wish." she promised. "is there anything here to sit on?" "the chopping-block is over yonder." "then go over there and sit down and be quiet!" she went very obediently and seated herself. "and don't cry any more!" said he, for he thought he was beginning to get control over her. but he should not have said this, for immediately she buried her face in her hands and cried harder than ever. "stop crying!" he said, ready to stamp his foot at her. "there are those, i dare say, who are worse off than you are." "no, no one can be worse off!" "you are young and strong. you should see how my mother fares! she is so wasted from suffering that she cannot move, but she never complains." "she is not abandoned by everybody, as i am." "you are not abandoned, either. i have spoken with my mother about you." there was a pause in the sobs. one heard, as it were, the great stillness of the forest, which always held its breath and waited for something wonderful. "i was to say to you that you should come down to my mother to-morrow that she might see you. mother thinks of asking if you would care to take service with us." "did she think of asking _me_?" "yes; but she wants to see you first." "does she know that--" "she knows as much about you as all the rest do." the girl leaped up with a cry of joy and wonderment, and the next moment gudmund felt a pair of arms around his neck. he was thoroughly frightened, and his first impulse was to break loose and run; but he calmed himself and stood still. he understood that the girl was so beside herself with joy that she didn't know what she was doing. at that moment she could have hugged the worst ruffian, only to find a little sympathy in the great happiness that had come to her. "if she will take me into her service, i can live!" said she, burying her head on gudmund's breast and weeping again. "you may know that i was in earnest when i wished to go down into the swamp," she said. "you deserve thanks for coming. you have saved my life." until then gudmund had been standing motionless, but now he felt that something tender and warm was beginning to stir within him. he raised his hand and stroked her hair. then she started, as if awakened from a dream, and stood up straight as a rod before him. "you deserve thanks for coming," she repeated. she had become flame-red in the face, and he too reddened. "well, then, you will come home to-morrow," he said, putting out his hand to say good-bye. "i shall never forget that you came to me to-night!" said helga, and her great gratitude got the mastery over her shyness. "oh, yes, it was well perhaps that i came," he said quite calmly, and he felt rather pleased with himself. "you will go in now, of course?" "yes, now i shall go in." gudmund suddenly felt himself rather pleased with helga too--as one usually is with a person whom one has succeeded in helping. she lingered and did not want to go. "i would like to see you safely under shelter before i leave." "i thought they might retire before i went in." "no, you must go in at once, so that you can have your supper and rest yourself," said he, thinking it was agreeable to take her in hand. she went at once to the cabin, and he accompanied her, pleased and proud because she obeyed him. when she stood on the threshold, they said good-bye to each other again; but before he had gone two paces, she came after him. "remain just outside the door until i am in. it will be easier for me if i know that you are standing without." "yes," said he, "i shall stand here until you have come over the worst of it." then helga opened the cabin door, and gudmund noticed that she left it slightly ajar. it was as if she did not wish to feel herself separated from her helper who stood without. nor did he feel any compunction about hearing all that happened within the cabin. the old folks nodded pleasantly to helga as she came in. her mother promptly laid the child in the crib, and then went over to the cupboard and brought out a bowl of milk and a bread cake and placed them on the table. "there! now sit down and eat," said she. then she went up to the fireplace and freshened the fire. "i have kept the fire alive, so you could dry your feet and warm yourself when you came home. but eat something first! it is food that you need most." all the while helga had been standing at the door. "you mustn't receive me so well, mother," she said in a low tone. "i will get no money from per. i have renounced his help." "there was some one here from the court house this evening who had been there and heard how it turned out for you," said the mother. "we know all." helga was still standing by the door, looking out, as if she knew not which was in or out. then the farmer put down his work, pushed his spectacles up on his forehead, and cleared his throat for a speech of which he had been thinking the whole evening. "it is a fact, helga," said he, "that mother and i have always wanted to be decent and honorable folk, but we have thought that we had been disgraced on your account. it was as though we had not taught you to distinguish between good and evil. but when we learned what you did to-day, we said to each other--mother and i--that now folks could see anyway that you have had a proper bringing up and right teaching, and we thought that perhaps we might yet be happy in you. and mother did not want that we should go to bed before you came that you might have a hearty welcome home." iii helga from the marsh croft came to närlunda, and there all went well. she was willing and teachable and grateful for every kind word said to her. she always felt herself to be the humblest of mortals and never wanted to push herself ahead. it was not long until the household and the servants were satisfied with her. the first days it appeared as if gudmund was afraid to speak to helga. he feared that this croft girl would get notions into her head because he had come to her assistance. but these were needless worries. helga regarded him as altogether too fine and noble for her even to raise her eyes to. gudmund soon perceived that he did not have to keep her at a distance. she was more shy of him than of any one else. the autumn that helga came to närlunda, gudmund paid many visits to älvåkra, and there was much talk about the good chance he stood of being the prospective son-in-law of this estate. that the courtship had been successful all were assured at christmas. then the juryman, with his wife and daughter, came over to närlunda, and it was evident that they had come there to see how hildur would fare if she married gudmund. this was the first time that helga saw, at close range, her whom gudmund was to marry. hildur ericsdotter was not yet twenty, but the marked thing about her was that no one could look at her without thinking what a handsome and dignified mistress she would be some day. she was tall and well built, fair and pretty, and apparently liked to have many about her to look after. she was never timid; she talked much and seemed to know everything better than the one with whom she was talking. she had attended school in the city for a couple of years and wore the prettiest frocks helga had ever seen, but yet she didn't impress one as being showy or vain. rich and beautiful as she was, she might have married a gentleman at any time, but she always declared that she did not wish to be a fine lady and sit with folded hands. she wanted to marry a farmer and look after her own house, like a real farmer's wife. helga thought hildur a perfect wonder. never had she seen any one who made such a superb appearance. nor had she ever dreamed that a person could be so nearly perfect in every particular. to her it seemed a great joy that in the near future she was to serve such a mistress. everything had gone off well during the juryman's visit. but whenever helga looked back upon that day, she experienced a certain unrest. it seems that when the visitors had arrived, she had gone around and served coffee. when she came in with the tray, the juryman's wife leaned forward and asked her mistress if she was not the girl from the marsh croft. she did not lower her voice much, and helga had distinctly heard the question. mother ingeborg answered yes, and then the other had said something which helga couldn't hear. but it was to the effect that she thought it singular they wanted a person of that sort in the house. this caused helga many anxious moments. she tried to console herself with the thought that it was not hildur, but her mother, who had said this. one sunday in the early spring helga and gudmund walked home together from church. as they came down the slope, they were with the other church people; but soon one after another dropped off until, finally, helga and gudmund were alone. then gudmund happened to think that he had not been alone with helga since that night at the croft, and the memory of that night came forcibly back to him. he had thought of their first meeting often enough during the winter, and with it he had always felt something sweet and pleasant thrill through his senses. as he went about his work, he would call forth in thought that whole beautiful evening: the white mist, the bright moonlight, the dark forest heights, the light valley, and the girl who had thrown her arms round his neck and wept for joy. the whole incident became more beautiful each time that it recurred to his memory. but when gudmund saw helga going about among the others at home, toiling and slaving, it was hard for him to think that it was she who had shared in this. now that he was walking alone with her on the church slope, he couldn't help wishing for a moment that she would be the same girl she was on that evening. helga began immediately to speak of hildur. she praised her much: said she was the prettiest and most sensible girl in the whole parish, and congratulated gudmund because he would have such an excellent wife. "you must tell her to let me remain always at närlunda," she said. "it will be a pleasure to work for a mistress like her." gudmund smiled at her enthusiasm, but answered only in monosyllables, as though he did not exactly follow her. it was well, of course, that she was so fond of hildur, and so happy because he was going to be married. "you have been content to be with us this winter?" he asked. "indeed i have! i cannot begin to tell you how kind mother ingeborg and all of you have been to me!" "have you not been homesick for the forest?" "oh, yes, in the beginning, but not now any more." "i thought that one who belonged to the forest could not help yearning for it." helga turned half round and looked at him, who walked on the other side of the road. gudmund had become almost a stranger to her; but now there was something in his voice, his smile, that was familiar. yes, he was the same man who had come to her and saved her in her greatest distress. although he was to marry another, she was certain that he wanted to be a good friend to her, and a faithful helper. she was very happy to feel that she could confide in him, as in none other, and thought that she must tell him of all that had happened to her since they last talked together. "i must tell you that it was rather hard for me the first weeks at närlunda," she began. "but you mustn't speak of this to your mother." "if you want me to be silent, i'll be silent." "fancy! i was so homesick in the beginning that i was about to go back to the forest." "were you homesick? i thought you were glad to be with us." "i simply could not help it," she said apologetically. "i understood, of course, how well it was for me to be here; you were all so good to me, and the work was not so hard but that i could manage with it, but i was homesick nevertheless. there was something that took hold of me and wanted to draw me back to the forest. i thought that i was deserting and betraying some one who had a right to me, when i wanted to stay here in the village." "it was perhaps--" began gudmund, but checked himself. "no, it was not the boy i longed for. i knew that he was well cared for and that mother was kind to him. it was nothing in particular. i felt as though i were a wild bird that had been caged, and i thought i should die if i were not let out." "to think that you had such a hard time of it!" said gudmund smiling, for now, all at once, he recognized her. now it was as if nothing had come between them, but that they had parted at the forest farm the evening before. helga smiled again, but continued to speak of her torments. "i didn't sleep a single night," said she, "and as soon as i went to bed, the tears started to flow, and when i got up of a morning, the pillow was wet through. in the daytime, when i went about among all of you, i could keep back the tears, but as soon as i was alone my eyes would fill up." "you have wept much in your time," said gudmund without looking the least bit sympathetic as he pronounced the words. helga thought that he was laughing to himself all the while. "you surely don't comprehend how hard it was for me!" she said, speaking faster and faster in her effort to make him understand her. "a great longing took possession of me and carried me out of myself. not for a moment could i feel happy! nothing was beautiful, nothing was a pleasure; not a human being could i become attached to. you all remained just as strange to me as you were the first time i entered the house." "but didn't you say a moment ago that you wished to remain with us?" said gudmund wonderingly. "of course i did!" "then, surely, you are not homesick now?" "no, it has passed over. i have been cured. wait, and you shall hear!" as she said this, gudmund crossed to the other side of the road and walked beside her, laughing to himself all the while. he seemed glad to hear her speak, but probably he didn't attach much importance to what she was relating. gradually helga took on his mood, and she thought everything was becoming easy and light. the church road was long and difficult to walk, but to-day she was not tired. there was something that carried her. she continued with her story because she had begun it, but it was no longer of much importance to her to speak. it would have been quite as agreeable to her if she might have walked silently beside him. "when i was the most unhappy," she said, "i asked mother ingeborg one saturday evening to let me go home and remain over sunday. and that evening, as i tramped over the hills to the marsh, i believed positively that i should never again go back to närlunda. but at home father and mother were so happy because i had found service with good and respectable people, that i didn't dare tell them i could not endure remaining with you. then, too, as soon as i came up into the forest all the anguish and pain vanished entirely. i thought the whole thing had been only a fancy. and then it was so difficult about the child. mother had become attached to the boy and had made him her own. he wasn't mine any more. and it was well thus, but it was hard to get used to." "perhaps you began to be homesick for us?" blurted gudmund. "oh, no! on monday morning, as i awoke and thought of having to return to you, the longing came over me again. i lay crying and fretting because the only right and proper thing for me to do was to go back to närlunda. but i felt all the same as though i were going to be ill or lose my senses if i went back. suddenly i remembered having once heard some one say that if one took some ashes from the hearth in one's own home and strewed them on the fire in the strange place, one would be rid of homesickness." "then it was a remedy that was easy to take," said gudmund. "yes, but it was supposed to have this effect also: afterwards one could never be content in any other place. if one were to move from the homestead to which one had borne the ashes, one must long to get back there again just as much as one had longed before to get away from there." "couldn't one carry ashes along wherever one moved to?" "no, it can't be done more than once. afterwards there is no turning back, so it was a great risk to try anything like that." "i shouldn't have taken chances on a thing of that kind," said gudmund, and she could hear that he was laughing at her. "but i dared, all the same," retorted helga. "it was better than having to appear as an ingrate in your mother's eyes and in yours, when you had tried to help me. i brought a little ashes from home, and when i got back to närlunda i watched my opportunity, when no one was in, and scattered the ashes over the hearth." "and now you believe it is ashes that have helped you?" "wait, and you shall hear how it turned out! immediately i became absorbed in my work and thought no more about the ashes all that day. i grieved exactly as before and was just as weary of everything as i had been. there was much to be done that day, both in the house and out of it, and when i finished with the evening's milking and was going in, the fire on the hearth was already lighted." "now i'm very curious to hear what happened," said gudmund. "think! already, as i was crossing the house yard, i thought there was something familiar in the gleam from the fire, and when i opened the door, it flashed across my mind that i was going into our own cabin and that father and mother would be sitting by the hearth. this flew past like a dream, but when i came in, i was surprised that it looked so pretty and homelike in the cottage. to me your mother and the rest of you had never appeared as pleasant as you did in the firelight. it seemed really good to come in, and this was not so before. i was so astonished that i could hardly keep from clapping my hands and shouting. i thought you were all so changed. you were no longer strangers to me and i could talk to you about all sorts of things. you can understand, of course, that i was happy, but i couldn't help being astonished. i wondered if i had been bewitched, and then i remembered the ashes i had strewn over the hearth." "yes, it was marvellous," said gudmund. he did not believe the least little bit in witchcraft and was not at all superstitious; but he didn't dislike hearing helga talk of such things. "now the wild forest girl has returned," thought he. "can anybody comprehend how one who has passed through all that she has can still be so childish?" "of course it was wonderful!" said helga. "and the same thing has been coming back all winter. as soon as the fire on the hearth was burning, i felt the same confidence and security as if i had been at home. but there must be something extraordinary about this fire--not with any other kind of fire, perhaps--only that which burns on a hearth, with all the household gathered around it, night after night. it gets sort of acquainted with one. it plays and dances for one and talks to one, and sometimes it is ill-humored. it is as if it had the power to create comfort and discomfort. i thought now that the fire from home had come to me and that it gave the same glow of pleasure to every one here that it had done back home." "what if you had to leave närlunda?" said gudmund. "then i must long to come back again all my life," said she. and the quiver in her voice betrayed that this was spoken in profound seriousness. "well, i shall not be the one to drive you away!" said gudmund. although he was laughing, there was something warm in his tone. they started no new subject of conversation, but walked on in silence until they came to the homestead. now and then gudmund turned his head to look at her who was walking at his side. she had gathered strength after her hard time of the year before. her features were delicate and refined; her hair was like an aureole around her head, and her eyes were not easy to read. her step was light and elastic, and when she spoke, the words came readily, yet modestly. she was afraid of being laughed at, still she had to speak out what was in her heart. gudmund wondered if he wished hildur to be like this, but he probably didn't. this helga would be nothing special to marry. a fortnight later helga heard that she must leave närlunda in april because hildur ericsdotter would not live under the same roof with her. the master and mistress of the house did not say this in so many words, but the mistress hinted that when the new daughter-in-law came, they would in all probability get so much help from her they would not require so many servants. on another occasion she said she had heard of a good place where helga would fare better than with them. it was not necessary for helga to hear anything further to understand that she must leave, and she immediately announced that she would move, but she did not wish any other situation and would return to her home. it was apparent that it was not of their own free will they were dismissing helga from närlunda. when she was leaving, there was a spread for her. it was like a party, and mother ingeborg gave her such heaps of dresses and shoes that she, who had come to them with only a bundle under her arm, could now barely find room enough in a chest for her possessions. "i shall never again have such an excellent servant in my house as you have been," said mother ingeborg. "and do not think too hard of me for letting you go! you understand, no doubt, that it is not my will, this. i shall not forget you. so long as i have any power, you shall never have to suffer want." she arranged with helga that she was to weave sheets and towels for her. she gave her employment for at least half a year. gudmund was in the woodshed splitting wood the day helga was leaving. he did not come in to say good-bye, although his horse was at the door. he appeared to be so busy that he didn't take note of what was going on. she had to go out to him to say farewell. he laid down the axe, took helga's hand, and said rather hurriedly, "thank you for all!" and began chopping again. helga had wanted to say something about her understanding that it was impossible for them to keep her and that it was all her own fault. she had brought this upon herself. but gudmund chopped away until the splinters flew around him, and she couldn't make up her mind to speak. but the strangest thing about this whole moving affair was that the master himself, old erland erlandsson, drove helga up to the marsh. gudmund's father was a little weazened man, with a bald pate and beautiful and knowing eyes. he was very timid, and so reticent at times that he did not speak a word the whole day. so long as everything went smoothly, one took no notice of him, but when anything went wrong, he always said and did what there was to be said and done to right matters. he was a capable accountant and enjoyed the confidence of every man in the township. he executed all kinds of public commissions and was more respected than many a man with a large estate and great riches. erland erlandsson drove helga home in his own wagon, and he wouldn't allow her to step down and walk up any of the hills. when they arrived at the marsh croft, he sat a long while in the cabin and talked with helga's parents, telling them of how pleased he and mother ingeborg had been with her. it was only because they did not need so many servants that they were sending her home. she, who was the youngest, must go. they had felt that it was wrong to dismiss any of those who were old in their service. erland erlandsson's speech had the desired effect, and the parents gave helga a warm welcome. when they heard that she had received such large orders that she could support herself with weaving, they were satisfied, and she remained at home. iv gudmund thought that he had loved hildur until the day when she exacted from him the promise that helga should be sent away from närlunda; at least up to that time there was no one whom he had esteemed more highly than hildur. no other young girl, to his thinking, could come up to her. it had been a pleasure for him to picture a future with hildur. they would be rich and looked up to, and he felt instinctively that the home hildur managed would be good to live in. he liked also to think that he would be well supplied with money after he had married her. he could then improve the land, rebuild all the tumble-down houses, extend the farm, and be a real landed proprietor. the same sunday that he had walked home from church with helga, he had driven over to älvåkra in the evening. then hildur had started talking about helga and had said that she wouldn't come to närlunda until that girl was sent away. at first gudmund had tried to dismiss the whole matter as a jest, but it was soon obvious that hildur was in earnest. gudmund pleaded helga's cause exceedingly well and remarked that she was very young when first sent out to service and it was not strange that things went badly when she came across such a worthless fellow as per mårtensson. but since his mother had taken her in hand, she had always conducted herself well. "it can't be right to push her out," said he. "then, perhaps, she might meet with misfortune again." but hildur would not yield. "if that girl is to remain at närlunda, then i will never come there," she declared. "i cannot tolerate a person of that kind in my home." "you don't know what you are doing," said gudmund. "no one understands so well as helga how to care for mother. we have all been glad that she came to us. before she came, mother was often peevish and depressed." "i shall not compel you to send her away," said hildur, but it was clear that if gudmund were to take her at her word, in this instance, she was ready to break the engagement. "it will probably have to be as you wish," said gudmund. he did not feel that he could jeopardize his whole future for helga's sake, but he was very pale when he acquiesced, and he was silent and low-spirited the entire evening. it was this which had caused gudmund to fear that perhaps hildur was not altogether what he had fancied her. he did not like, i dare say, that she had pitted her will against his. but the worst of it was that he could not comprehend anything else than that she was in the wrong. he felt that he would willingly have given in to her had she been broad-minded, but instead, it seemed to him, she was only petty and heartless. once his doubts were awakened, it was not long before he perceived one thing and another which were not as he wished. "doubtless she is one of those who think first and foremost of themselves," he muttered every time he parted from her, and he wondered how long her love for him would last if it were put to the test. he tried to console himself with the idea that all people thought of themselves first, but instantly helga flashed into his mind. he saw her as she stood in the court room and snatched the bible, and heard how she cried out: "i withdraw the suit. i am still fond of him and i don't want him to swear falsely." it was thus he would have hildur. helga had become for him a standard by which he measured people. though certainly there were many who were equal to her in affection! day by day he thought less of hildur, but it did not occur to him that he should relinquish his prospective bride. he tried to imagine his discouragement was simply an idle whim. only a few weeks ago he regarded her as the best in the world! had this been at the beginning of the courtship, he would have withdrawn, perhaps, but now the banns were already published and the wedding day fixed, and in his home they had begun repairing and rebuilding. nor did he wish to forfeit the wealth and the good social position which awaited him. what excuse could he offer for breaking the engagement? that which he had to bring against hildur was so inconsequential that it would have turned to air on his lips had he attempted to express it. but the heart of him was often heavy, and every time he had an errand down to the parish or the city he bought ale or wine at the shops to drink himself into a good humor. when he had emptied a couple of bottles, he was again proud of the marriage and pleased with hildur. then he didn't understand what it was that pained him. gudmund often thought of helga and longed to meet her. but he fancied that helga believed him a wretch because he had not kept the promise which he voluntarily made her, but had allowed her to go away. he could neither explain nor excuse himself, therefore he avoided her. one morning, when gudmund was walking up the road, he met helga, who had been down in the village to buy milk. gudmund turned about and joined her. she didn't appear to be pleased with his company and walked rapidly, as if she wished to get away from him, and said nothing. gudmund, too, kept still because he didn't quite know how he should begin the conversation. a vehicle was seen on the road, far behind. gudmund was absorbed in thought and did not mark it, but helga had seen it and turned abruptly to him: "it is not worth your while to be in my company, gudmund, for, unless i see wrongly, it is the juryman from älvåkra and his daughter who come driving back there." gudmund glanced up quickly, recognized the horse, and made a movement as if to turn back; but the next instant he straightened up and walked calmly at helga's side until the vehicle had passed. then he slackened his pace. helga continued to walk rapidly, and they parted company without his having said a word to her. but all that day he was better satisfied with himself than he had been in a long while. v it was decided that gudmund and hildur's wedding should be celebrated at älvåkra the day following palm sunday. on the friday before, gudmund drove to town to make some purchases for the home-coming banquet, which was to be held at närlunda the day after the wedding. in the village he happened across a number of young men from his parish. they knew it was his last trip to the city before the marriage and made it the occasion for a carouse. all insisted that gudmund must drink, and they succeeded finally in getting him thoroughly intoxicated. he came home on saturday morning so late that his father and the men servants had already gone out to their work, and he slept on until late in the afternoon. when he arose and was going to dress himself, he noticed that his coat was torn in several places. "it looks as though i had been in a fight last night," said he, trying to recall what he had been up to. he remembered this much: he had left the public tavern at eleven o'clock in company with his comrades; but where they had gone afterwards, he couldn't remember. it was like trying to peer into a great darkness. he did not know if they had only driven around on the streets or if they had been in somebody's home. he didn't remember whether he or some one else had harnessed the horse and had no recollection whatever of the drive home. when he came into the living-room of the cottage, it was scoured and arranged for the occasion. all work was over for the day, and the household were having coffee. no one spoke of gudmund's trip. it seemed to be a matter agreed upon that he should have the freedom of living as he chose these last weeks. gudmund sat down at the table and had his coffee like the others. as he sat pouring it from the cup into the saucer and back into the cup again to let it cool, mother ingeborg, who had finished with hers, took up the newspaper, which had just arrived, and began reading. she read aloud column after column, and gudmund, his father, and the rest sat and listened. among other things which she read, there was an account of a fight that had taken place the night before, on the big square, between a gang of drunken farmers and some laborers. as soon as the police turned up, the fighters fled, but one of them lay dead on the square. the man was carried to the police station, and when no outward injury was found on him, they had tried to resuscitate him. but all attempts had been in vain, and at last they discovered that a knife-blade was imbedded in the skull. it was the blade of an uncommonly large clasp-knife that had pierced the brain and was broken off close to the head. the murderer had fled with the knife-handle, but as the police knew perfectly well who had been in the fight, they had hopes of soon finding him. while mother ingeborg was reading this, gudmund set down the coffee-cup, stuck his hand in his pocket, pulled out a clasp-knife, and glanced at it carelessly. but almost immediately he started, turned the knife over, and poked it into his pocket as quickly as though it had burned him. he did not touch the coffee after that, but sat a long while, perfectly still, with a puzzled expression on his face. his brows were contracted, and it was apparent that he was trying with all his might to think out something. finally he stood up, stretched himself, yawned, and walked leisurely toward the door. "i'll have to bestir myself. i haven't been out of doors all day," he said, leaving the room. about the same time erland erlandsson also arose. he had smoked out his pipe, and now he went into the side room to get some tobacco. as he was standing in there, refilling his pipe, he saw gudmund walking along. the windows of the side room did not, like those of the main room, face the yard, but looked out upon a little garden plot with a couple of tall apple trees. beyond the plot lay a bit of swamp land where in the spring of the year there were big pools of water, but which were almost dried out in the summer. toward this side it was seldom that any one went. erland erlandsson wondered what gudmund was doing there, and followed him with his eyes. then he saw that the son stuck his hand into his pocket, drew out some object, and flung it away in the morass. thereupon he walked back across the little garden plot, leaped a fence, and went down the road. as soon as his son was out of sight, erland, in his turn, betook himself, as he should have done, to the swamp. he waded out into the mire, bent down, and picked up something his foot had touched. it was a large clasp-knife with the biggest blade broken off. he turned it over and over and examined it carefully while he still stood in the water. then he put it into his pocket, but he took it out again and looked at it before returning to the house. gudmund did not come home until the household had retired. he went immediately to bed without touching his supper, which was spread in the main room. erland erlandsson and his wife slept in the side room. at daybreak erland thought he heard footsteps outside the window. he got up, drew aside the curtain, and saw gudmund walking down to the swamp. he stripped off stockings and shoes and waded out into the water, tramping back and forth, like one who is searching for something. he kept this up for a long while, then he walked back to dry land, as if he intended to go away, but soon turned back to resume his search. a whole hour his father stood watching him. then gudmund went back to the house again and to bed. on palm sunday gudmund was to drive to church. as he started to hitch up the horse, his father came out. "you have forgotten to polish the harness to-day," he said, as he walked by; for both harness and cart were muddy. "i have had other things to think of," said gudmund listlessly, and drove off without doing anything in the matter. after the service gudmund accompanied his betrothed to älvåkra and remained there all day. a number of young people came to celebrate hildur's last evening as a maid, and there was dancing till far into the night. intoxicants were plentiful, but gudmund did not touch them. the whole evening he had scarcely spoken a word to any one, but he danced wildly and laughed at times, loudly and stridently, without any one's knowing what he was so amused over. gudmund did not come home until about two in the morning, and when he had stabled the horse he went down to the swamp back of the house. he took off his shoes and stockings, rolled up his trousers, and waded into the water and mud. it was a light spring night, and his father was standing in the side room behind the curtain, watching his son. he saw how he walked bending over the water and searching as on the previous night. he went up on land between times, but after a moment or two he would wade again through the mud. once he went and fetched a bucket from the barn and began dipping water from the pools, as if he intended to drain them, but really found it unprofitable and set the bucket aside. he tried also with a pole-net. he ploughed through the entire swamp-ground with it, but seemed to bring up nothing but mud. he did not go in until the morning was so well on that the people in the house were beginning to bestir themselves. then he was so tired and spent that he staggered as he walked, and he flung himself upon the bed without undressing. when the clock struck eight, his father came and waked him. gudmund lay upon the bed, his clothing covered with mud and clay, but his father did not ask what he had been doing. he simply said, "it is time now to get up," and closed the door. after a while gudmund came down stairs, dressed in his wedding clothes. he was pale, and his eyes wore a troubled expression, but no one had ever seen him look so handsome. his features were as if illumined by an inner light. one felt that one was looking upon something no longer made up of flesh and blood,--only of soul and will. it was solemnly ceremonious down in the main room. his mother was in black, and she had thrown a pretty silk shawl across her shoulders, although she was not to be at the wedding. fresh birch leaves were arranged in the fireplace. the table was spread, and there was a great quantity of food. when they had breakfasted, mother ingeborg read a hymn and something from the bible. then she turned to gudmund, thanked him for having been a good son, wished him happiness in his new life, and gave him her blessing. mother ingeborg could arrange her words well, and gudmund was deeply moved. the tears welled to his eyes time and again, but he managed to choke them back. his father, too, said a few words. "it will be hard for your parents to lose you," he said, and again gudmund came near breaking down. all the servants came forward and shook hands with him and thanked him for the past. tears were in his eyes all the while. he pulled himself together and made several attempts to speak, but could scarcely get a word past his lips. his father was to accompany him to the wedding and be one of the party. he went out and harnessed the horse, after which he came back and announced that it was time to start. when gudmund was seated in the cart, he noticed that it was cleansed and burnished. everything was as bright and shiny as he himself always wished it to be. at the same time he saw, also, how neat everything about the place looked. the driveway had been laid with new gravel; piles of old wood and rubbish, which had lain there all his life, were removed. on each side of the entrance door stood a birch branch, as a gate of honor. a large wreath of blueberry hung on the weather-vane, and from every aperture peeped light green birch-leaves. again gudmund was ready to burst into tears. he grasped his father's hand hard when he was about to start; it was as though he wished to prevent his going. "is there something--?" said the father. "oh, no!" said gudmund. "it is best, i dare say, that we go ahead." gudmund had to say one more farewell before he was very far from the homestead. it was helga from big marsh, who stood waiting at the hedge, where the foliage path leading from her home opened into the highway. the father was driving and stopped when he saw helga. "i have been waiting for you, as i wanted to wish you happiness to-day," said helga. gudmund leaned far out over the cart and shook hands with helga. he thought that she had grown thin and that her eyelids were red. very probably she had lain awake and cried all night and was homesick for närlunda. but now she tried to appear happy and smiled sweetly at him. again he felt deeply moved but could not speak. his father, who was reputed never to speak a word until it was called forth by extreme necessity, joined in: "that good wish, i think, gudmund will be more glad over than any other." "yes, of that you may be sure!" said gudmund. he shook hands with helga once more, and then they drove on. gudmund leaned back in the cart and looked after helga. when she was hidden from view by a couple of trees, he hastily tore aside the apron of the carriage, as if he wished to jump out. "is there anything more you wish to say to helga?" asked his father. "no, oh, no!" answered gudmund and turned round again. suddenly gudmund leaned his head against his father's shoulder and burst out crying. "what ails you?" asked erland erlandsson, drawing in the reins so suddenly that the horse stopped. "oh, they are all so good to me and i don't deserve it." "but you have never done anything wrong, surely?" "yes, father, i have." "that we can't believe." "i have killed a human being!" the father drew a deep breath. it sounded almost like a sigh of relief, and gudmund raised his head, astonished, and looked at him. his father set the horse in motion again; then he said calmly, "i'm glad you have told of this yourself." "did you know it already, father?" "i surmised last saturday evening that there was something wrong. and then i found your knife down in the morass." "so it was you who found the knife!" "i found it and i noticed that one of the blades had been broken off." "yes, father, i'm aware that the knife-blade is gone, but still i cannot get it into my head that i did it." "it was probably done in the drunkenness and delirium." "i know nothing; i remember nothing. i could see by my clothes that i had been in a fight and i knew that the knife-blade was missing." "i understand that it was your intention to be silent about this," said the father. "i thought that perhaps the rest of the party were as irresponsible as myself and _i_ couldn't remember anything. there was perhaps no other evidence against me than the knife, therefore i threw it away." "i comprehend that you must have reasoned in that way." "you understand, father, that i do not know who is dead. i had never seen him before, i dare say. i have no recollection of having done it. i didn't think i ought to suffer for what i had not done knowingly. but soon i got to thinking that i must have been mad to throw the knife into the marsh. it dries out in summer, and then any one might find it. i tried last night and the night before to find it." "didn't it occur to you that you should confess?" "no! yesterday i thought only of how i could keep it a secret, and i tried to dance and be merry, so that no one would mark any change in me." "was it your intention to go to the bridal altar to-day without confessing? you were assuming a grave responsibility. didn't you understand that if you were discovered you would drag hildur and her kin with you into misery?" "i thought that i was sparing them most by saying nothing." they drove now as fast as possible. the father seemed to be in haste to arrive, and all the time he talked with his son. he had not said so much to him in all his life before. "i wonder how you came to think differently?" said he. "it was because helga came and wished me luck. then there was something hard in me that broke. i was touched by something in her. mother, also, moved me this morning, and i wanted to speak out and tell her that i was not worthy of your love; but then the hardness was still within me and made resistance. but when helga appeared, it was all over with me. i felt that she really ought to be angry with me who was to blame for her having to leave our home." "now i think you are agreed with me that we must let the juryman know this at once," said the father. "yes," answered gudmund in a low tone. "why, certainly!" he added almost immediately after, louder and firmer. "i don't want to drag hildur into my misfortune. this she would never forgive me." "the älvåkra folk are jealous of their honor, like the rest," remarked the father. "and you may as well know, gudmund, that when i left home this morning i was thinking that i must tell the juryman your position if you did not decide to do so yourself. i never could have stood silently by and let hildur marry a man who at any moment might be accused of murder." he cracked the whip and drove on, faster and faster. "this will be the hardest thing for you," said he, "but we'll try and have it over with quickly. i believe that, to the juryman's mind, it will be right for you to give yourself up, and they will be kind to you, no doubt." gudmund said nothing. his torture increased the nearer they approached älvåkra. the father continued talking to keep up his courage. "i have heard something of this sort before," said he. "there was a bridegroom once who happened to shoot a comrade to death during a hunt. he did not do it intentionally, and it was not discovered that he was the one who had fired the fatal shot. but a day or two later he was to be married, and when he came to the home of the bride, he went to her and said: 'the marriage cannot take place. i do not care to drag you into the misery which awaits me.' but she stood, dressed in bridal wreath and crown, and took him by the hand and led him into the drawing-room, where the guests were assembled and all was in readiness for the ceremony. she related in a clear voice what the bridegroom had just said to her. 'i have told of this, that all may know you have practised no deceit on me.' then she turned to the bridegroom. 'now i want to be married to you at once. you are what you are, even though you have met with misfortune, and whatever awaits you, i want to share it equally with you.'" just as the father had finished the narrative, they were on the long avenue leading to älvåkra. gudmund turned to him with a melancholy smile. "it will not end thus for us," he said. "who knows?" said the father, straightening in the cart. he looked upon his son and was again astonished at his beauty this day. "it would not surprise me if something great and unexpected were to come to him," thought he. there was to have been a church ceremony, and already a crowd of people were gathered at the bride's home to join in the wedding procession. a number of the juryman's relatives from a distance had also arrived. they were sitting on the porch in their best attire, ready for the drive to church. carts and carriages were strung out in the yard, and one could hear the horses stamping in the stable as they were being curried. the parish fiddler sat on the steps of the storehouse alone, tuning his fiddle. at a window in the upper story of the cottage stood the bride, dressed and waiting to have a peep at the bridegroom before he had time to discover her. erland and gudmund stepped from the carriage and asked immediately for a private conference with hildur and her parents. soon they were all standing in the little room which the juryman used as his study. "i think you must have read in the papers of that fight in town last saturday night, where a man was killed," said gudmund, as rapidly as if he were repeating a lesson. "oh, yes, i've read about it, of course," said the juryman. "i happened to be in town that night," continued gudmund. now there was no response. it was as still as death. gudmund thought they all glared at him with such fury that he was unable to continue. but his father came to his aid. "gudmund had been invited out by a few friends. he had probably drunk too much that night, and when he came home he did not know what he had been doing. but it was apparent that he had been in a fight, for his clothes were torn." gudmund saw that the dread which the others felt increased with every word that was said, but he himself was growing calmer. there awoke in him a sense of defiance, and he took up the words again: "when the paper came on saturday evening and i read of the fight and of the knife-blade which was imbedded in the man's skull, i took out my knife and saw that a blade was missing." "it is bad news that gudmund brings with him," said the juryman. "it would have been better had he told us of this yesterday." gudmund was silent; and now his father came to the rescue again. "it was not so easy for gudmund. it was a great temptation to keep quiet about the whole affair. he is losing much by this confession." "we may be glad that he has spoken now, and that we have not been tricked and dragged into this wretched affair," said the juryman bitterly. gudmund kept his eyes fixed on hildur all the while. she was adorned with veil and crown, and now he saw how she raised her hand and drew out one of the large pins which held the crown in place. she seemed to do this unconsciously. when she observed that gudmund's glance rested upon her, she stuck the pin in again. "it is not yet fully proved that gudmund is the slayer," said his father, "but i can well understand that you wish the wedding postponed until everything has been cleared up." "it is not worth while to talk of postponement," said the juryman. "i think that gudmund's case is clear enough for us to decide that all is over between him and hildur now." gudmund did not at once reply to this judgment. he walked over to his betrothed and put out his hand. she sat perfectly still and seemed not to see him. "won't you say farewell to me, hildur?" then she looked up, and her large eyes stared coldly at him. "was it with that hand you guided the knife?" she asked. gudmund did not answer her, but turned to the juryman. "now i am sure of my case," he said. "it is useless to talk of a wedding." with this the conference was ended, and gudmund and erland went their way. they had to pass through a number of rooms and corridors before they came out, and everywhere they saw preparations for the wedding. the door leading to the kitchen was open, and they saw many bustling about in eager haste. the smell of roasts and of baking penetrated the air; the whole fireplace was covered with large and small pots and pans, and the copper saucepans, which usually decorated the walls, were down and in use. "fancy, it is for my wedding that they are puttering like this!" thought gudmund, as he was passing. he caught a glimpse, so to speak, of all the wealth of this old peasant estate as he wandered through the house. he saw the dining-hall, where the long tables were set with a long row of silver goblets and decanters. he passed by the clothes-press, where the floor was covered with great chests and where the walls were hung with an endless array of wearing apparel. when he came out in the yard, he saw many vehicles, old and new, and fine horses being led out from the stable, and gorgeous carriage robes placed in the carriages. he looked out across a couple of farms with cow-sheds, barns, sheep-folds, storehouses, sheds, larders, and many other buildings. "all this might have been mine," he thought, as he seated himself in the cart. suddenly he was seized with a sense of bitter regret. he would have liked to throw himself out of the cart and go in and say that what he had told them was not true. he had only wished to joke with them and frighten them. it was awfully stupid of him to confess. of what use had it been to him to confess? the dead was dead. no, this confession carried nothing with it save his ruin. these last weeks he had not been very enthusiastic over this marriage. but now, when he must renounce it, he realized what it was worth to him. it meant much to lose hildur ericsdotter and all that went with her. what did it matter that she was domineering and opinionated? she was still the peer of all in these regions, and through her he would have come by great power and honor. it was not only hildur and her possessions he was missing, but minor things as well. at this moment he should have been driving to the church, and all who looked upon him would have envied him. and it was to-day that he should have sat at the head of the wedding table and been in the thick of the dancing and the gayety. it was his great luck-day that was going from him. erland turned time and again to his son and looked at him. now he was not so handsome or transfigured as he had been in the morning, but sat there listless and heavy and dull-eyed. the father wondered if the son regretted having confessed and meant to question him about it, but thought it best to be silent. "where are we driving to now?" asked gudmund presently. "wouldn't it be as well to go at once to the sheriff?" "you had better go home first and have a good sleep," said the father. "you have not had much sleep these last nights, i dare say." "mother will be frightened when she sees us." "she won't be surprised," answered the father, "for she knows quite as much as i do. she will be glad, of course, that you have confessed." "i believe mother and the rest of you at home are glad to get me into prison," snarled gudmund. "we know that you are losing a good deal in acting rightly," said the father. "we can't help but be glad because you have conquered yourself." gudmund felt that he could not endure going home and having to listen to all who would commend him because he had spoiled his future. he sought some excuse that he might escape meeting any one until he had recovered his poise. then they drove by the place where the path led to big marsh. "will you stop here, father? i think i'll run up to see helga and have a talk with her." willingly the father reined in the horse. "only come home as quickly as you can, that you may rest yourself," said he. gudmund went into the woods and was soon out of sight. he did not think of seeking helga; he was only thinking of being alone, so that he wouldn't have to control himself. he felt an unreasonable anger toward everything, kicked at stones that lay in his path, and paused sometimes to break off a big branch only because a leaf had brushed his cheek. he followed the path to big marsh, but walked past the croft and up the hill which lay above it. he had wandered off the path, and in order to reach the hill-top he must cross a broad ridge of sharp, jagged rocks. it was a hazardous tramp over the sharp rock edges. he might have broken both arms and legs had he made a misstep. he understood this perfectly, but went on as if it amused him to run into danger. "if i were to fall and hurt myself, no one can find me up here," thought he. "what of it? i may as well die here as to sit for years within prison walls." all went well, however, and a few moments later he was up on high peak. once a forest fire had swept the mountain. the highest point was still bare, and from there one had a seven-mile outlook. he saw valleys and lakes, dark forest tracts and flourishing towns, churches and manors, little woodland crofts and large villages. far in the distance lay the city, enveloped in a white haze from which a pair of gleaming spires peeped out. public roads wound through the valleys, and a railway train was rushing along the border of the forest. it was a whole kingdom that he saw. he flung himself upon the ground, all the while keeping his eyes riveted upon the vast outlook. there was something grand and majestic about the landscape before him, which made him feel himself and his sorrows small and insignificant. he remembered how, when a child, he had read that the tempter led jesus up to a high mountain and showed him all the world's glories, and he always fancied that they had stood up here on great peak, and he repeated the old words: "all these things will i give thee if thou wilt fall down and worship me." all of a sudden he was thinking that a similar temptation had come to him these last days. certainly the tempter had not borne him to a high mountain and shown him all the glories and powers of this world! "only be silent about the evil which you think you have done," said he, "and i will give you all these things." as gudmund thought on this, a grain of satisfaction came to him. "i have answered no," he said, and suddenly he understood what it had meant for him. if he had kept silent, would he not have been compelled to worship the tempter all his life? he would have been a timid and faint-hearted man; simply a slave to his possessions. the fear of discovery would always have weighed upon him. nevermore would he have felt himself a free man. a great peace came over gudmund. he was happy in the consciousness that he had done right. when he thought back to the past days, he felt that he had groped his way out of a great darkness. it was wonderful that he had come out right finally. he asked himself how he had ever happened to go astray. "it was because they were so kind to me at home," he thought, "and the best help was that helga came and wished me happiness." he lay up there on the mountain a little longer, but presently he felt that he must go home to his father and mother and tell them that he was at peace with himself. when he rose to go, he saw helga sitting on a ledge a little farther down the mountain. where she sat, she had not the big, broad outlook which he enjoyed; only a little glint of the valley was visible to her. this was in the direction where närlunda lay, and possibly she could see a portion of the farm. when gudmund discovered her, he felt that his heart, which all the day before had labored heavily and anxiously, began to beat lightly and merrily; at the same time such a thrill of joy ran through him that he stood still and marvelled at himself. "what has come over me? what is this?" he wondered, as the blood surged through his body and happiness gripped him with a force that was almost painful. at last he said to himself in a surprised tone: "why, it is she that i'm fond of! think, that i did not know it until now!" it took hold of him with the strength of a loosened torrent. he had been bound the whole time he knew her. all that had drawn him to her he had held back. now, at last, he was freed from the thought of marrying some one else--free to love her. "helga!" he cried, rushing down the steep to her. she turned round with a terrified shriek. "don't be frightened! it is only i." "but are you not at church being married?" "no, indeed! there will be no wedding to-day. she doesn't want me--she--hildur." helga rose. she placed her hand on her heart and closed her eyes. at that moment she must have thought it was not gudmund who had come. it must be that her eyes and ears were bewitched in the forest. yet it was sweet and dear of him to come, if only in a vision! she closed her eyes and stood motionless to keep this vision a few seconds longer. gudmund was wild and dizzy from the great love that had flamed up in him. as soon as he came down to helga, he threw his arms around her and kissed her, and she let it happen, for she was absolutely stupefied with surprise. it was too wonderful to believe that he, who should now be standing in church beside his bride, actually could have come here to the forest. this phantom or ghost of him that had come to her may as well kiss her. but while gudmund was kissing helga, she awoke and pushed him from her. she began to shower him with questions. was it really he? what was he doing in the forest? had any misfortune happened to him? why was the wedding postponed? was hildur ill? did the clergyman have a stroke in church? gudmund had not wished to talk to her of anything in the world save his love, but she forced him to tell her what had occurred. while he was speaking she sat still and listened with rapt attention. she did not interrupt him until he mentioned the broken blade. then she leaped up suddenly and asked if it was his clasp-knife, the one he had when she served with them. "yes, it was just that one," said he. "how many blades were broken off?" she asked. "only one," he answered. then helga's head began working. she sat with knit brows trying to recall something. wait! why, certainly she remembered distinctly that she had borrowed the knife from him to shave wood with the day before she left. she had broken it then, but she had never told him of it. he had avoided her, and at that time he had not wished to hold any converse with her. and of course the knife had been in his pocket ever since and he hadn't noticed that it was broken. she raised her head and was about to tell him of this, but he went on talking of his visit that morning to the house where the wedding was to have been celebrated, and she wanted to let him finish. when she heard how he had parted from hildur, she thought it such a terrible misfortune that she began upbraiding him. "this is your own fault," said she. "you and your father came and frightened the life out of her with the shocking news. she would not have answered thus had she been mistress of herself. i want to say to you that i believe she regrets it at this very moment." "let her regret it as much as she likes, for all of me!" said gudmund. "i know now that she is the sort who thinks only of herself. i am glad i'm rid of her!" helga pressed her lips, as if to keep the great secret from escaping. there was much for her to think about. it was more than a question of clearing gudmund of the murder; the wretched affair had also dragged with it enmity between gudmund and his sweetheart. perhaps she might try to adjust this matter with the help of what she knew. again she sat silent and pondered until gudmund began telling that he had transferred his affections to her. but to her this seemed to be the greatest misfortune he had met with that day. it was bad that he was about to miss the advantageous marriage, but still worse were he to woo a girl like herself. "no, such things you must not say to me," she said, rising abruptly. "why shouldn't i say this to you?" asked gudmund, turning pale. "perhaps it is with you as with hildur--you are afraid of me?" "no, that's not the reason." she wanted to explain how he was seeking his own ruin, but he was not listening to her. "i have heard said that there were women-folk in olden times who stood side by side with men when they were in trouble; but that kind one does not encounter nowadays." a tremor passed through helga. she could have thrown her arms around his neck, but remained perfectly still. to-day it was she who must be sensible. "true, i should not have asked you to become my wife on the day that i must go to prison. you see, if i only knew that you would wait for me until i'm free again, i should go through all the hardship with courage. every one will now regard me as a criminal, as one who drinks and murders. if only there were some one who could think of me with affection!--this would sustain me more than anything else." "you know, surely, that i shall never think anything but good of you, gudmund." helga was so still! gudmund's entreaties were becoming almost too much for her. she didn't know how she should escape him. he apprehended nothing of this, but began thinking he had been mistaken. she could not feel toward him as he did toward her. he came very close and looked at her, as though he wanted to look through her. "are you not sitting on this particular ledge of the mountain that you may look down to närlunda?" "yes." "don't you long night and day to be there?" "yes, but i'm not longing for any person." "and you don't care for me?" "yes, but i don't want to marry you." "whom do you care for, then?" helga was silent. "is it per mårtensson?" "i have already told you that i liked him," she said, exhausted by the strain of it all. gudmund stood for a moment, with tense features, and looked at her. "farewell, then! now we must go our separate ways, you and i," said he. with that he made a long jump from this ledge of the mountain down to the next landing and disappeared among the trees. vi gudmund was hardly out of sight when helga rushed down the mountain in another direction. she ran past the marsh without stopping and hurried over the wooded hills as fast as she could and down the road. she stopped at the first farmhouse she came to and asked for the loan of a horse and car to drive to älvåkra. she said that it was a matter of life and death and promised to pay for the help. the church folk had already returned to their homes and were talking of the adjourned wedding. they were all very much excited and very solicitous and were eager to help helga, since she appeared to have an important errand to the home of the bride. at älvåkra hildur ericsdotter sat in a little room on the upper floor where she had dressed as a bride. her mother and several other peasant women were with her. hildur did not weep; she was unusually quiet, and so pale that she looked as though she might be ill at any moment. the women talked all the while of gudmund. all blamed him and seemed to regard it as a fortunate thing that she was rid of him. some thought that gudmund had shown very little consideration for his parents-in-law in not letting them know on palm sunday how matters stood with him. others, again, said that one who had had such happiness awaiting him should have known how to take better care of himself. a few congratulated hildur because she had escaped marrying a man who could drink himself so full that he did not know what he was doing. amid this, hildur was losing her patience and rose to go out. as soon as she was outside the door, her best friend, a young peasant girl, came and whispered something to her. "there is some one below who wants to speak with you." "is it gudmund?" asked hildur, and a spark of life came into her eyes. "no, but it may be a messenger from him. she wouldn't divulge the nature of her errand to any one but yourself, she declared." hildur had been sitting thinking all day that some one must come who could put an end to her misery. she couldn't comprehend that such a dreadful misfortune should come to her. she felt that something ought to happen that she might again don her crown and wreath, so they could proceed with the wedding. when she heard now of a messenger from gudmund, she was interested and immediately went out to the kitchen hall and looked for her. hildur probably wondered why gudmund had sent helga to her, but she thought that perhaps he couldn't find any other messenger on a holiday, and greeted her pleasantly. she motioned to helga to come with her into the dairy across the yard. "i know no other place where we can be alone," she said. "the house is still full of guests." as soon as they were inside, helga went close up to hildur and looked her square in the face. "before i say anything more, i must know if you love gudmund." hildur winced. it was painful for her to be obliged to exchange a single word with helga, and she had no desire to make a confidant of her. but now it was a case of necessity, and she forced herself to answer, "why else do you suppose i wished to marry him?" "i mean, do you still love him?" hildur was like stone, but she could not lie under the other woman's searching glance. "perhaps i have never loved him so much as to-day," she said, but she said this so feebly that one might think it hurt her to speak out. "then come with me at once!" said helga. "i have a wagon down the road. go in after a cloak or something to wrap around you; then we'll drive to närlunda." "what good would it do for me to go there?" asked hildur. "you must go there and say you want to be gudmund's, no matter what he may have done, and that you will wait faithfully for him while he is in prison." "why should i say this?" "so all will be well between you." "but that is impossible. i don't want to marry any one who has been in prison!" helga staggered back, as though she had bumped against a wall, but she quickly regained her courage. she could understand that one who was rich and powerful, like hildur, must think thus. "i should not come and ask you to go to närlunda did i not know that gudmund was innocent," said she. now it was hildur who came a step or two towards helga. "do you know this for certain, or is it only something which you imagine?" "it will be better for us to get into the cart immediately; then i can talk on the way." "no, you must first explain what you mean; i must know what i'm doing." helga was in such a fever of excitement that she could hardly stand still; nevertheless she had to make up her mind to tell hildur how she happened to know that gudmund was not the murderer. "didn't you tell gudmund of this at once?" "no, i'm telling it now to hildur. no one else knows of it." "and why do you come to me with this?" "that all may be well between you two. he will soon learn that he has done no wrong; but i want you to go to him as if of your own accord, and make it up." "sha'n't i say that i know he is innocent?" "you must come entirely of your own accord and must never let him know i have spoken to you; otherwise he will never forgive you for what you said to him this morning." hildur listened quietly. there was something in this which she had never met with in her life before, and she was striving to make it clear to herself. "do you know that it was i who wanted you to leave närlunda?" "i know, of course, that it was not the folk at närlunda who wished me away." "i can't comprehend that you should come to me to-day with the desire to help me." "only come along now, hildur, so all will be well!" hildur stared at helga, trying all the while to reason it out. "perhaps gudmund loves you?" she blurted out. and now helga's patience was exhausted. "what could i be to him?" she said sharply. "you know, hildur, that i am only a poor croft girl, and that's not the worst about me!" the two young women stole unobserved from the homestead and were soon seated in the cart. helga held the reins, and she did not spare the horse, but drove at full speed. both girls were silent. hildur sat gazing at helga. she marvelled at her and was thinking more of her than of anything else. as they were nearing the erlandsson farm, helga gave the reins to hildur. "now you must go alone to the house and talk with gudmund. i'll follow a little later and tell that about the knife. but you mustn't say a word to gudmund about my having brought you here." gudmund sat in the living-room at närlunda beside his mother and talked with her. his father was sitting a little way from them, smoking. he looked pleased and said not a word. it was apparent that he thought everything was going now as it should and that it was not necessary for him to interfere. "i wonder, mother, what you would have said if you had got helga for a daughter-in-law?" ventured gudmund. mother ingeborg raised her head and said in a firm voice, "i will with pleasure welcome any daughter-in-law if i only know that she loves you as a wife should love her husband." this was barely spoken when they saw hildur ericsdotter drive into the yard. she came immediately into the cottage and was unlike herself in many respects. she did not step into the room with her usual briskness, but it appeared almost as though she were inclined to pause near the door, like some poor beggarwoman. however, she came forward finally and shook hands with mother ingeborg and erland. then she turned to gudmund: "it is with you that i would have a word or two." gudmund arose, and they went into the side room. he arranged a chair for hildur, but she did not seat herself. she blushed with embarrassment, and the words dropped slowly and heavily from her lips. "i was--yes, it was much too hard--that which i said to you this morning." "we came so abruptly, hildur," said gudmund. she grew still more red and embarrassed. "i should have thought twice. we could--it would of course--" "it is probably best as it is, hildur. it is nothing to speak of now, but it was kind of you to come." she put her hands to her face, drew a breath as deep as a sigh, then raised her head again. "no!" she said, "i can't do it in this way. i don't want you to think that i'm better than i am. there was some one who came to me and told me that you were not guilty and advised me to hurry over here at once and make everything right again. and i was not to mention that i already knew you were innocent, for then you wouldn't think it so noble of me to come. now i want to say to you that i wish i had thought of this myself, but i hadn't. but i have longed for you all day and wished that all might be well between us. whichever way it turns out, i want to say that i am glad you are innocent." "who advised you to do this?" asked gudmund. "i was not to tell you that." "i am surprised that any one should know of it. father has but just returned from the sheriff. he telegraphed to the city, and an answer has come that the real murderer has already been found." as gudmund was relating this, hildur felt that her legs were beginning to shake, and she sat down quickly in the chair. she was frightened because gudmund was so calm and pleasant, and she was beginning to perceive that he was wholly out of her power. "i can understand that you can never forget how i behaved to you this forenoon." "surely i can forgive you that," he said in the same even tone. "we will never speak of the matter again." she shivered, dropped her eyes, and sat as though she were expecting something. "it was simply a stroke of good fortune, hildur," he said, coming forward and grasping her hand, "that it is over between us, for to-day it became clear to me that i love another. i think i have been fond of her for a long time, but i did not know it until to-day." "whom do you care for, gudmund?" came in a colorless voice from hildur. "it doesn't matter. i shall not marry her, as she does not care for me, nor can i marry anyone else." hildur raised her head. it was not easy to tell what was taking place in her. at this moment she felt that she, the rich farmer's daughter, with all her beauty and all her possessions, was nothing to gudmund. she was proud and did not wish to part from him without teaching him that she had a value of her own, apart from all the external things. "i want you to tell me, gudmund, if it is helga from big marsh whom you love." gudmund was silent. "it was she who came to me and taught me what i should do that all might be well between us. she knew you were innocent, but she did not say so to you. she let me know it first." gudmund looked her steadily in the eyes. "do you think this means that she has a great affection for me?" "you may be sure of it, gudmund. i can prove it. no one in the world could love you more than she does." he walked rapidly across the floor and back, then he stopped suddenly before hildur. "and you--why do you tell me this?" "surely i do not wish to stand beneath helga in magnanimity!" "oh, hildur, hildur!" he cried, placing his hands on her shoulders and shaking her to give vent to his emotion. "you don't know, oh, you don't know how much i like you at this moment! you don't know how happy you have made me!" helga sat by the roadside and waited. with her cheek resting on her hand, she sat and pictured hildur and gudmund together and thought how happy they must be now. while she sat thus, a servant from närlunda came along. he stopped when he saw her. "i suppose you have heard that affair which concerns gudmund?" she had. "it was not true, fortunately. the real murderer is already in custody." "i knew it couldn't be true," said helga. thereupon the man went, and helga sat there alone, as before. so they knew it already down there! it was not necessary for her to go to närlunda and tell of it. she felt herself so strangely shut out! earlier in the day she had been so eager. she had not thought of herself--only that gudmund and hildur's marriage should take place. but now it flashed upon her how alone she was. and it was hard not to be something to those of whom one is fond. gudmund did not need her now, and her own child had been appropriated by her mother, who would hardly allow her to look at it. she was thinking that she had better rise and go home, but the hills appeared long and difficult to her. she didn't know how she should ever be able to climb them. a vehicle came along now from the direction of närlunda. hildur and gudmund were seated in the cart. now they were probably on their way to älvåkra to tell that they were reconciled. to-morrow the wedding would take place. when they discovered helga, they stopped the horse. gudmund handed the reins to hildur and jumped down. hildur nodded to helga and drove on. gudmund remained standing on the road and facing helga. "i am glad you are sitting here, helga," he said. "i thought that i would have to go up to big marsh to meet you." he said this abruptly, almost harshly; at the same time he gripped her hand tightly. and she read in his eyes that he knew now where he had her. now she could no more escape from him. the silver mine king gustaf the third was travelling through dalecarlia. he was pressed for time, and all the way he wanted to drive like lightning. although they drove with such speed that the horses were extended like stretched rubber bands and the coach cleared the turns on two wheels, the king poked his head out of the window and shouted to the postilion: "why don't you go ahead? do you think you are driving over eggs?" since they had to drive over poor country roads at such a mad pace, it would have been almost a miracle had the harness and wagon held together! and they didn't, either; for at the foot of a steep hill the pole broke--and there the king sat! the courtiers sprang from the coach and scolded the driver, but this did not lessen the damage done. there was no possibility of continuing the journey until the coach was mended. when the courtiers looked round to try and find something with which the king could amuse himself while he waited, they noticed a church spire looming high above the trees in a grove a short distance ahead. they intimated to the king that he might step into one of the coaches in which the attendants were riding and drive up to the church. it was a sunday, and the king might attend service to pass the time until the royal coach was ready. the king accepted the proposal and drove toward the church. he had been travelling for hours through dark forest regions, but here it looked more cheerful, with fairly large meadows and villages, and with the dal river gliding on, light and pretty, between thick rows of alder bushes. but the king had ill-luck to this extent: the bellringer took up the recessional chant just as the king was stepping from the coach on the church knoll and the people were coming out from the service. but when they came walking past him, the king remained standing, with one foot in the wagon and the other on the footstep. he did not move from the spot--only stared at them. they were the finest lot of folk he had ever seen. all the men were above the average height, with intelligent and earnest faces, and the women were dignified and stately, with an air of sabbath peace about them. the whole of the preceding day the king had talked only of the desolate tracts he was passing through, and had said to his courtiers again and again, "now i am certainly driving through the very poorest part of my kingdom!" but now, when he saw the people, garbed in the picturesque dress of this section of the country, he forgot to think of their poverty; instead his heart warmed, and he remarked to himself: "the king of sweden is not so badly off as his enemies think. so long as my subjects look like this, i shall probably be able to defend both my faith and my country." he commanded the courtiers to make known to the people that the stranger who was standing amongst them was their king, and that they should gather around him, so he could talk to them. and then the king made a speech to the people. he spoke from the high steps outside the vestry, and the narrow step upon which he stood is there even to-day. the king gave an account of the sad plight in which the kingdom was placed. he said that the swedes were threatened with war, both by russians and danes. under ordinary circumstances it wouldn't be such a serious matter, but now the army was filled with traitors, and he did not dare depend upon it. therefore there was no other course for him to pursue than to go himself into the country settlements and ask his subjects if they would be loyal to their king and help him with men and money, so he could save the fatherland. the peasants stood quietly while the king was speaking, and when he had finished they gave no sign either of approval or disapproval. the king himself thought that he had spoken very well. the tears had sprung to his eyes several times while he was speaking. but when the peasants stood there all the while, troubled and undecided, and could not make up their minds to answer him, the king frowned and looked displeased. the peasants understood that it was becoming monotonous for the king to wait, and finally one of them stepped out from the crowd. "now, you must know, king gustaf, that we were not expecting a royal visit in the parish to-day," said the peasant, "and therefore we are not prepared to answer you at once. i advise you to go into the vestry and speak with our pastor, while we discuss among ourselves this matter which you have laid before us." the king apprehended that a more satisfactory response was not to be had immediately, so he felt that it would be best for him to follow the peasant's advice. when he came into the vestry, he found no one there but a man who looked like a peasant. he was tall and rugged, with big hands, toughened by labor, and he wore neither cassock nor collar, but leather breeches and a long white homespun coat, like all the other men. he arose and bowed to the king when the latter entered. "i thought i should find the parson in here," said the king. the man grew somewhat red in the face. he thought it annoying to mention the fact that he was the parson of this parish, when he saw that the king had mistaken him for a peasant. "yes," said he, "the parson is usually on hand in here." the king dropped into a large armchair which stood in the vestry at that time, and which stands there to-day, looking exactly like itself, with this difference: the congregation has had a gilded crown attached to the back of it. "have you a good parson in this parish?" asked the king, who wanted to appear interested in the welfare of the peasants. when the king questioned him in this manner, the parson felt that he couldn't possibly tell who he was. "it's better to let him go on believing that i'm only a peasant," thought he, and replied that the parson was good enough. he preached a pure and clear gospel and tried to live as he taught. the king thought that this was a good commendation, but he had a sharp ear and marked a certain doubt in the tone. "you sound as if you were not quite satisfied with the parson," said the king. "he's a bit arbitrary," said the man, thinking that if the king should find out later who he was, he would not think that the parson had been standing here and blowing his own horn, therefore he wished to come out with a little fault-finding also. "there are some, no doubt, who say the parson wants to be the only one to counsel and rule in this parish," he continued. "then, at all events, he has led and managed in the best possible way," said the king. he didn't like it that the peasant complained of one who was placed above him. "to me it appears as though good habits and old-time simplicity were the rule here." "the people are good enough," said the curate, "but then they live in poverty and isolation. human beings here would certainly be no better than others if this world's temptations came closer to them." "but there's no fear of anything of the sort happening," said the king with a shrug. he said nothing further, but began thrumming on the table with his fingers. he thought he had exchanged a sufficient number of gracious words with this peasant and wondered when the others would be ready with their answer. "these peasants are not very eager to help their king," thought he. "if i only had my coach, i would drive away from them and their palaver!" the pastor sat there troubled, debating with himself as to how he should decide an important matter which he must settle. he was beginning to feel happy because he had not told the king who he was. now he felt that he could speak with him about matters which otherwise he could not have placed before him. after a while the parson broke the silence and asked the king if it was an actual fact that enemies were upon them and that the kingdom was in danger. the king thought this man ought to have sense enough not to trouble him further. he simply glared at him and said nothing. "i ask because i was standing in here and could not hear very well," said the parson. "but if this is really the case, i want to say to you that the pastor of this congregation might perhaps be able to procure for the king as much money as he will need." "i thought you said just now that every one here was poor," said the king, thinking that the man didn't know what he was talking about. "yes, that is true," replied the rector, "and the parson has no more than any of the others. but if the king would condescend to listen to me for a moment, i will explain how the pastor happens to have the power to help him." "you may speak," said the king. "you seem to find it easier to get the words past your lips than your friends and neighbors out there, who never will be ready with what they have to tell me." "it is not so easy to reply to the king! i'm afraid that, in the end, it will be the parson who must undertake this on behalf of the others." the king crossed his legs, folded his arms, and let his head sink down on his breast. "you may begin now," he said in the tone of one already asleep. "once upon a time there were five men from this parish who were out on a moose hunt," began the clergyman. "one of them was the parson of whom we are speaking. two of the others were soldiers, named olaf and eric svärd; the fourth man was the innkeeper in this settlement, and the fifth was a peasant named israel per persson." "don't go to the trouble of mentioning so many names," muttered the king, letting his head droop to one side. "those men were good hunters," continued the parson, "who usually had luck with them; but that day they had wandered long and far without getting anything. finally they gave up the hunt altogether and sat down on the ground to talk. they said there was not a spot in the whole forest fit for cultivation; all of it was only mountain and swamp land. 'our lord has not done right by us in giving us such a poor land to live in,' said one. 'in other localities people can get riches for themselves in abundance, but here, with all our toil and drudgery, we can scarcely get our daily bread.'" the pastor paused a moment, as if uncertain that the king heard him, but the latter moved his little finger to show that he was awake. "just as the hunters were discussing this matter, the parson saw something that glittered at the base of the mountain, where he had kicked away a moss-tuft. 'this is a queer mountain,' he thought, as he kicked off another moss-tuft. he picked up a shiver of stone that came with the moss and which shone exactly like the other. 'it can't be possible that this stuff is lead,' said he. then the others sprang up and scraped away the turf with the butt end of their rifles. when they did this, they saw plainly that a broad vein of ore followed the mountain. 'what do you think this might be?' asked the parson. the men chipped off bits of stone and bit into them. 'it must be lead, or zinc at least,' said they. 'and the whole mountain is full of it,' added the innkeeper." when the parson had got thus far in his narrative, the king's head was seen to straighten up a little and one eye opened. "do you know if any of those persons knew anything about ore and minerals?" he asked. "they did not," replied the parson. then the king's head sank and both eyes closed. "the clergyman and his companions were very happy," continued the speaker, without letting himself be disturbed by the king's indifference; "they fancied that now they had found that which would give them and their descendants wealth. 'i'll never have to do any more work,' said one. 'now i can afford to do nothing at all the whole week through, and on sundays i shall drive to church in a golden chariot!' they were otherwise sensible men, but the great find had gone to their heads and they talked like children. still they had enough presence of mind to put back the moss-tufts and conceal the vein of ore. then they carefully noted the place where it was, and went home. before they parted company, they agreed that the parson should travel to falun and ask the mining expert what kind of ore this was. he was to return as soon as possible, and until then they promised one another on oath not to reveal to a single soul where the ore was to be found." the king's head was raised again a trifle, but he did not interrupt the speaker with a word. it appeared as though he was beginning to believe that the man actually had something of importance he wished to say to him, since he didn't allow himself to be disturbed by his indifference. "then the parson departed with a few samples of ore in his pocket. he was just as happy in the thought of becoming rich as the others were. he was thinking of rebuilding the parsonage, which at present was no better than a peasant's cottage, and then he would marry a dean's daughter whom he liked. he had thought that he might have to wait for her many years! he was poor and obscure and knew that it would be a long while before he should get any post that would enable him to marry. "the parson drove over to falun in two days, and there he had to wait another whole day because the mining expert was away. finally, he ran across him and showed him the bits of ore. the mining expert took them in his hand. he looked at them first, then at the parson. the parson related how he had found them in a mountain at home in his parish, and wondered if it might not be lead. "'no, it's not lead,' said the mining expert. "'perhaps it is zinc, then?' asked the parson. "'nor is it zinc,' said the mineralogist. "the parson thought that all the hope within him sank. he had not been so depressed in many a long day. "'have you many stones like these in your parish?' asked the mineralogist. "'we have a whole mountain full,' said the parson. "then the mineralogist came up closer, slapped the parson on the shoulder, and said, 'let us see that you make such good use of this that it will prove a blessing both to yourselves and to the country, for this is silver.' "'indeed?' said the parson, feeling his way. 'so it is silver!' "the mineralogist began telling him how he should go to work to get legal rights to the mine and gave him many valuable suggestions; but the parson stood there dazed and didn't listen to what he was saying. he was only thinking of how wonderful it was that at home in his poor parish stood a whole mountain of silver ore, waiting for him." the king raised his head so suddenly that the parson stopped short in his narrative. "it turned out, of course, that when he got home and began working the mine, he saw that the mineralogist had only been fooling him," said the king. "oh, no, the mineralogist had not fooled him," said the parson. "you may continue," said the king, as he settled himself more comfortably in the chair to listen. "when the parson was at home again and was driving through the parish," continued the clergyman, "he thought that first of all he should inform his partners of the value of their find. and as he drove alongside the innkeeper sten stensson's place, he intended to drive up to the house to tell him they had found silver. but when he stopped outside the gate, he noticed that a broad path of evergreen was strewn all the way up to the doorstep. "'who has died in this place?' asked the parson of a boy who stood leaning against the fence. "'the innkeeper himself,' answered the boy. then he let the clergyman know that the innkeeper had drunk himself full every day for a week. 'oh, so much brandy, so much brandy has been drunk here!' "'how can that be?' asked the parson. 'the innkeeper used never to drink himself full.' "'oh,' said the boy, 'he drank because he said he had found a mine. he was very rich. he should never have to do anything now but drink, he said. last night he drove off, full as he was, and the wagon turned over and he was killed.' "when the parson heard this, he drove homeward. he was distressed over what he had heard. he had come back so happy, rejoicing because he could tell the great good news. "when the parson had driven a few paces, he saw israel per persson walking along. he looked about as usual, and the parson thought it was well that fortune had not gone to his head too. him he would cheer at once with the news that he was a rich man. "'good day!' said per persson. 'do you come from falun now?' "'i do,' said the parson. 'and now i must tell you that it has turned out even better than we had imagined. the mineralogist said it was silver ore that we had found.' "that instant per persson looked as though the ground under him had opened! 'what are you saying, what are you saying? is it silver?' "'yes,' answered the parson. 'we'll all be rich men now, all of us, and can live like gentlemen.' "'oh, is it silver!' said per persson once again, looking more and more mournful. "'why, of course it is silver,' replied the parson. 'you mustn't think that i want to deceive you. you mustn't be afraid of being happy.' "'happy!' said per persson. 'should i be happy? i believed it was only glitter that we had found, so i thought it would be better to take the certain for the uncertain: i have sold my share in the mine to olaf svärd for a hundred dollars.' he was desperate, and when the parson drove away from him, he stood on the highway and wept. "when the clergyman got back to his home, he sent a servant to olaf svärd and his brother to tell them that it was silver they had found. he thought that he had had quite enough of driving around and spreading the good news. "but in the evening, when the parson sat alone, his joy asserted itself again. he went out in the darkness and stood on a hillock upon which he contemplated building the new parsonage. it should be imposing, of course, as fine as a bishop's palace. he stood out there long that night; nor did he content himself with rebuilding the parsonage! it occurred to him that, since there were such riches to be found in the parish, throngs of people would pour in and, finally, a whole city would be built around the mine. and then he would have to erect a new church in place of the old one. towards this object a large portion of his wealth would probably go. and he was not content with this, either, but fancied that when his church was ready, the king and many bishops would come to the dedication. then the king would be pleased with the church, but he would remark that there was no place where a king might put up, and then he would have to erect a castle in the new city." just then one of the king's courtiers opened the door of the vestry and announced that the big royal coach was mended. at the first moment the king was ready to withdraw, but on second thought he changed his mind. "you may tell your story to the end," he said to the parson. "but you can hurry it a bit. we know all about how the man thought and dreamed. we want to know how he acted." "but while the parson was still lost in his dreams," continued the clergyman, "word came to him that israel per persson had made away with himself. he had not been able to bear the disappointment of having sold his share in the mine. he had thought, no doubt, that he could not endure to go about every day seeing another enjoying the wealth that might have been his." the king straightened up a little. he kept both eyes open. "upon my word," he said, "if i had been that parson, i should have had enough of the mine!" "the king is a rich man," said the parson. "he has quite enough, at all events. it is not the same thing with a poor curate who possesses nothing. the unhappy wretch thought instead, when he saw that god's blessing was not with his enterprise: 'i will dream no more of bringing glory and profit to myself with these riches; but i can't let the silver lie buried in the earth! i must take it out, for the benefit of the poor and needy. i will work the mine, to put the whole parish on its feet.' "so one day the parson went out to see olaf svärd, to ask him and his brother as to what should be done immediately with the silver mountain. when he came in the vicinity of the barracks, he met a cart surrounded by armed peasants, and in the cart sat a man with his hands tied behind him and a rope around his ankles. "when the parson passed by, the cart stopped, and he had time to regard the prisoner, whose head was tied up so it wasn't easy to see who he was. but the parson thought he recognized olaf svärd. he heard the prisoner beg those who guarded him to let him speak a few words with the parson. "the parson drew nearer, and the prisoner turned toward him. 'you will soon be the only one who knows where the silver mine is,' said olaf. "'what are you saying, olaf?' asked the parson. "'well, you see, parson, since we have learned that it was a silver mine we had found, my brother and i could no longer be as good friends as before. we were continually quarrelling. last night we got into a controversy over which one of us five it was who first discovered the mine. it ended in strife between us, and we came to blows. i have killed my brother and he has left me with a souvenir across the forehead to remember him by. i must hang now, and then you will be the only one who knows anything about the mine; therefore i wish to ask something of you.' "'speak out!' said the parson. 'i'll do what i can for you.' "'you know that l am leaving several little children behind me,' began the soldier, but the parson interrupted him. "'as regards this, you can rest easy. that which comes to your share in the mine, they shall have, exactly as if you yourself were living.' "'no,' said olaf svärd, 'it was another thing i wanted to ask of you. don't let them have any portion of that which comes from the mine!' "the parson staggered back a step. he stood there dumb and could not answer. "'if you do not promise me this, i cannot die in peace,' said the prisoner. "'yes,' said the parson slowly and painfully. 'i promise you what you ask of me.' "thereupon the murderer was taken away, and the parson stood on the highway thinking how he should keep the promise he had given him. on the way home he thought of the wealth which he had been so happy over. but if it really were true that the people in this community could not stand riches?--already four were ruined, who hitherto had been dignified and excellent men. he seemed to see the whole community before him, and he pictured to himself how this silver mine would destroy one after another. was it befitting that he, who had been appointed to watch over these poor human beings' souls, should let loose upon them that which would be their destruction?" all of a sudden the king sat bolt upright in his chair. "i declare!" said he, "you'll make me understand that a parson in this isolated settlement must be every inch a man." "nor was it enough with what had already happened," continued the parson, "for as soon as the news about the mine spread among the parishioners, they stopped working and went about in idleness, waiting for the time when great riches should pour in on them. all the ne'er-do-wells there were in this section streamed in, and drunkenness and fighting were what the parson heard talked of continually. a lot of people did nothing but tramp round in the forest searching for the mine, and the parson marked that as soon as he left the house people followed him stealthily to find out if he wasn't going to the silver mountain and to steal the secret from him. "when matters were come to this pass, the parson called the peasants together to vote. to start with, he reminded them of all the misfortunes which the discovery of the mountain had brought upon them, and he asked them if they were going to let themselves be ruined or if they would save themselves. then he told them that they must not expect him, who was their spiritual adviser, to help on their destruction. now he had decided not to reveal to any one where the silver mine was, and never would he himself take riches from it. and then he asked the peasants how they would have it henceforth. if they wished to continue their search for the mine and wait upon riches, then he would go so far away that not a hearsay of their misery could reach him; but if they would give up thinking about the silver mine and be as heretofore, he would remain with them. 'whichever way you may choose,' said the parson, 'remember this, that from me no one shall ever know anything about the silver mountain!'" "well," said the king, "how did they decide?" "they did as their pastor wished," said the parson. "they understood that he meant well by them when he wanted to remain poor for their sakes. and they commissioned him to go to the forest and conceal the vein of ore with evergreen and stone, so that no one would be able to find it--neither they themselves nor their posterity." "and ever since the parson has been living here just as poor as the rest?" "yes," answered the curate, "he has lived here just as poor as the rest." "he has married, of course, and built himself a new parsonage?" said the king. "no, he couldn't afford to marry, and he lives in the old cabin." "it's a pretty story that you have told me," said the king. after a few seconds he resumed: "was it of the silver mountain that you were thinking when you said that the parson here would be able to procure for me as much money as i need?" "yes," said the other. "but i can't put the thumb-screws on him," said the king. "or how would you that i should get such a man to show me the mountain--a man who has renounced his sweetheart and all the allurements of life?" "oh, that's a different matter," said the parson. "but if it's the fatherland that is in need of the fortune, he will probably give in." "will you answer for that?" asked the king. "yes, that i will answer for," said the clergyman. "doesn't he care, then, what becomes of his parishioners?" "that can rest in god's hand." the king rose from the chair and walked over to the window. he stood for a moment and looked upon the group of people outside. the longer he looked, the clearer his large eyes shone, and his figure seemed to grow. "you may greet the pastor of this congregation, and say that for sweden's king there is no sight more beautiful than to see a people such as this!" then the king turned from the window and looked at the clergyman. he began to smile. "is it true that the pastor of this parish is so poor that he removes his black clothes as soon as the service is over and dresses himself like a peasant?" asked the king. "yes, so poor is he," said the curate, and a crimson flush leaped into his rough-hewn face. the king went back to the window. one could see that he was in his best mood. all that was noble and great within him had been quickened into life. "you must let that mine lie in peace," said the king. "inasmuch as you have labored and starved a lifetime to make this people such as you would have it, you may keep it as it is." "but if the kingdom is in danger?" said the parson. "the kingdom is better served with men than with money," remarked the king. when he had said this, he bade the clergyman farewell and went out from the vestry. without stood the group of people, as quiet and taciturn as they were when he went in. as the king came down the steps, a peasant stepped up to him. "have you had a talk with our pastor?" said the peasant. "yes," said the king. "i have talked with him." "then of course you have our answer?" said the peasant. "we asked you to go in and talk with our parson, that he might give you an answer from us." "i have the answer," said the king. the airship father and the boys are seated one rainy october evening in a third-class railway coach on their way to stockholm. the father is sitting by himself on one bench, and the boys sit close together directly opposite him, reading a jules verne romance entitled "six weeks in a balloon." the book is much worn. the boys know it almost by heart and have held endless discussions on it, but they always read it with the same pleasure. they have forgotten everything else to follow the daring sailors of the air all over africa, and seldom raise their eyes from the book to glance at the swedish towns they are travelling through. the boys are very like each other. they are the same height, are dressed alike, with blue caps and gray overcoats, and both have large dreamy eyes and little pug noses. they are always good friends, always together, do not bother with other children, and are forever talking about inventions and exploring expeditions. in point of talent they are quite unlike. lennart, the elder, who is thirteen, is backward in his studies at the high school and can hardly keep up with his class in any theme. to make up for this, he is very handy and enterprising. he is going to be an inventor and works all the time on a flying-machine which he is constructing. hugo is a year younger than lennart, but he is quicker at study and is already in the same grade as his brother. he doesn't find studying any special fun, either; but, on the other hand, he is a great sportsman--a ski-runner, a cyclist, and a skater. he intends to start out on voyages of discovery when he is grown up. as soon as lennart's airship is ready, hugo is going to travel in it in order to explore what is still left of this globe to be discovered. their father is a tall thin man with a sunken chest, a haggard face, and pretty, slender hands. he is carelessly dressed. his shirt bosom is wrinkled and the coat band pokes up at the neck; his vest is buttoned wrongly and his socks sag down over his shoes. he wears his hair so long at the neck that it hangs on his coat collar. this is due not to carelessness, but to habit and taste. the father is a descendant of an old musical family from far back in a rural district, and he has brought with him into the world two strong inclinations, one of which is a great musical talent; and it was this that first came into the light. he was graduated from the academy in stockholm and then studied a few years abroad, and during these study years made such brilliant progress that both he and his teacher thought he would some day be a great and world-renowned violinist. he certainly had talent enough to reach the goal, but he lacked grit and perseverance. he couldn't fight his way to any sort of standing out in the world, but soon came home again and accepted a situation as organist in a country town. at the start he felt ashamed because he had not lived up to the expectations of every one, but he felt, also, that it was good to have an assured income and not be forced to depend any longer upon the charity of others. shortly after he had got the appointment, he married, and a few years later he was perfectly satisfied with his lot. he had a pretty little home, a cheerful and contented wife, and two little boys. he was the town favorite, feted, and in great demand everywhere. but then there came a time when all this did not seem to satisfy him. he longed to go out in the world once more and try his luck; but he felt bound down at home because he had a wife and children. more than all, it was the wife who had persuaded him to give up this journey. she had not believed that he would succeed any better now than before. she felt they were so happy that there was no need for him to strive after anything else. unquestionably she made a mistake in this instance, but she also lived to regret it bitterly, for, from that time on, the other family trait showed itself. when his yearning for success and fame was not satisfied, he tried to console himself with drinking. now it turned out with him, as was usual with folk of his family--he drank inordinately. by degrees he became an entirely different person. he was no longer charming or lovable, but harsh and cruel; and the greatest misfortune of all was that he conceived a terrible hatred for his wife and tortured her in every conceivable way, both when he was drunk and when he wasn't. so the boys did not have a good home, and their childhood would have been very unhappy had they not been able to create for themselves a little world of their own, filled with machine models, exploring schemes, and books of adventure. the only one who has ever caught a glimpse of this world is the mother. the father hasn't even a suspicion of its existence, nor can he talk with the boys about anything that interests them. he disturbs them, time and again, by asking if they don't think it will be fun to see stockholm; if they are not glad to be out travelling with father, and other things in that way, to which the boys give brief replies, in order that they may immediately bury themselves in the book again. nevertheless the father continues to question the boys. he thinks they are charmed with his affability, although they are too bashful to show it. "they have been too long under petticoat rule," he thinks. "they have become timid and namby-pamby. there will be some go in them now, when i take them in hand." father is mistaken. it is not because the boys are bashful that they answer him so briefly; it simply shows that they are well brought up and do not wish to hurt his feelings. if they were not polite, they would answer him in a very different manner. "why should we think it fun to be travelling with father?" they would then say. "father must think himself something wonderful, but we know, of course, that he is only a poor wreck of a man. and why should we be glad to see stockholm? we understand very well that it is not for our sakes that father has taken us along, but only to make mother unhappy!" it would be wiser, no doubt, if the father were to let the boys read without interrupting them. they are sad and apprehensive, and it irritates them to see him in a good humor. "it is only because he knows that mother is sitting at home crying that he is so happy to-day," they whisper to each other. father's questions finally bring matters to this pass: the boys read no more, although they continue to sit bent over the book. instead, their thoughts begin in bitterness to embrace all that they have had to endure on their father's account. they remember the time when he drank himself full in the morning and came staggering up the street, with a crowd of school boys after him, who poked fun at him. they recall how the other boys teased them and gave them nicknames because they had a father who drank. they have been put to shame for their father. they have been forced to live in a state of constant anxiety for his sake, and as soon as they were having any enjoyment, he always came and spoiled their fun. it is no small register of sins that they are setting down against him! the boys are very meek and patient, but they feel a greater and greater wrath springing up in them. he should at least understand that, as yet, they cannot forgive him for the great wrong he did them yesterday. this was by far the worst wrong he had ever done them. it seems that, last year, mother and the boys decided to part from father. for a number of years he had been persecuting and torturing her in every possible way, but she was loath to part from him and remained, so that he wouldn't go altogether to rack and ruin. but now, at last, she wanted to do it for the sake of her boys. she had noticed that their father made them unhappy, and realized that she must take them away from this misery and provide them with a good and peaceable home. when the spring school-term was over, she sent them to her parents in the country, and she herself went abroad in order to obtain a divorce in the easiest way possible. she regretted that, by going about it in this way, it would appear as though it were her fault that the marriage was dissolved; but that she must submit to. she was even less pleased when the courts turned the boys over to the father because she was a run-away wife. she consoled herself with the thought that he couldn't possibly wish to keep the children; but she had felt quite ill at ease. as soon as the divorce was settled, she came back and took a small apartment where she and the boys were to live. in two days she had everything in readiness, so that they could come home to her. it was the happiest day the boys had experienced. the entire apartment consisted of one large living-room and a big kitchen, but everything was new and pretty, and mother had arranged the place so cosily. the big room she and they were to use daytimes as a work-room, and nights they were to sleep there. the kitchen was light and comfortable. there they would eat, and in a little closet off the kitchen mother had her bed. she had told them that they would be very poor. she had secured a place as singing-teacher at the girls' school, and this was all they had to live upon. they couldn't afford to keep a servant, but must get along all by themselves. the boys were in ecstasies over everything--most of all, because they might help along. they volunteered to carry water and wood. they were to brush their own shoes and make their own beds. it was only fun to think up all that they were going to do! there was a little wardrobe, in which lennart was to keep all his mechanical apparatus. he was to have the key himself, and no one but hugo and he should ever go in there. but the boys were allowed to be happy with their mother only for a single day. afterwards their father spoiled their pleasure, as he had always done as far back as they could remember. mother told them she had heard that their father had received a legacy of a few thousand kronor, and that he had resigned from his position as organist and was going to move to stockholm. both they and mother were glad that he was leaving town, so they would escape meeting him on the streets. and then a friend of father's had called on mother to tell her that father wanted to take the boys with him to stockholm. mother had wept and begged that she might keep her boys, but father's messenger had answered her that her husband was determined to have the boys under his guardianship. if they did not come willingly, he would let the police fetch them. he bade mother read through the divorce papers, and there it said plainly that the boys would belong to their father. this, of course, she already knew. it was not to be gainsaid. father's friend had said many nice things of father and had told her of how much he loved his sons, and for this reason he wanted them to be with him. but the boys knew that father was taking them away solely for the purpose of torturing mother. she would have to live in a state of continual anxiety for them. the whole thing was nothing but malice and revenge! but father had his own way, and here they were now, on their way to stockholm. and right opposite them their father sits, rejoicing in the thought that he has made their mother unhappy. with every second that passes, the thought of having to live with father becomes more repellent. are they then wholly in his power? will there be no help for this? father leans back in his seat, and after a bit he falls asleep. immediately the boys begin whispering to each other very earnestly. it isn't difficult for them to come to a decision. the whole day they have been sitting there thinking that they ought to run away. they conclude to steal out on the platform and to jump from the train when it goes through a big forest. then they will build them a hut in the most secluded spot in the forest, and live all by themselves and never show themselves to a human being. while the boys are laying their plans, the train stops at a station, and a peasant woman, leading a little boy by the hand, comes into the coupé. she is dressed in black, with a shawl on her head, and has a kind and friendly appearance. she removes the little one's overcoat, which is wet from the rain, and wraps a shawl around him. then she takes off his shoes and stockings, dries his little cold feet, takes from a bundle dry shoes and stockings and puts them on him. then she gives him a stick of candy and lays him down on the seat with his head resting on her lap, that he might sleep. first one boy, then the other casts a glance over at the peasant woman. these glances become more frequent, and suddenly the eyes of both boys fill with tears. then they look up no more, but keep their eyes obstinately lowered. it seems that when the peasant woman entered some one else--some one who was invisible and imperceptible to all save the boys--came into the coupé. the boys fancied that she came and sat down between them and took their hands in hers, as she had done late last night, when it was settled that they must leave her; and she was talking to them now as she did then. "you must promise me that you will not be angry with father for my sake. father has never been able to forgive me for preventing him from going abroad. he thinks it is my fault that he has never amounted to anything and that he drinks. he can never punish me enough. but you mustn't be angry at him on that account. now, when you are to live with father, you must promise me that you will be kind to him. you mustn't quarrel with him and you are to look after his needs as well as you can. this you must promise me, otherwise i don't know how i can ever let you go." and the boys promised. "you mustn't run away from father, promise me that!" mother had said. that they had also promised. the boys are as good as their word, and the instant they happen to think that they had given mother these promises, they abandon all thought of flight. father sleeps all the while and they remain patiently in their places. then they resume their reading with redoubled zeal, and their friend, the good jules verne, soon takes them away from many heavy sorrows to africa's happy wonder world. far out on the south side of the city, father has rented two rooms and a kitchen on the ground floor, with an entrance from the court and an outlook over a narrow yard. the apartment has long been in use; it has gone from family to family, without ever having been renovated. the wall paper is full of tears and spots; the ceilings are sooty; a couple of window-panes are cracked, and the kitchen floor is so worn that it is full of ruts. expressmen have brought the furniture cases from the railway station and have left them there, helter skelter. father and the boys are now unpacking. father stands with axe raised to hack open a box. the boys are taking out glass and porcelain ware from another box, and are arranging them in a wall cupboard. they are handy and work eagerly, but the father never stops cautioning them to be careful, and forbids their carrying more than one glass or plate at a time. meanwhile it goes slowly with father's own work. his hands are fumbly and powerless, and he works himself into a sweat without getting the lock off the box. he lays down the axe, walks around the box, and wonders if it's the bottom that is uppermost. then one of the boys takes hold of the axe and begins to bend the lock, but father pushes him aside. "that lock is nailed down too hard. surely you don't imagine that you can force the lock when father couldn't do it? only a regular workman can open that box," says father, putting on his hat and coat to go and fetch the janitor. father is hardly outside the door when an idea strikes him. instantly he understands why he has no strength in his hands. it is still quite early in the morning and he has not consumed anything which could set the blood in motion. if he were to step into a café and have a cognac, he would get back his strength and could manage without help. this is better than calling the janitor. then father goes into the street to try and hunt up a café. when he returns to the little apartment on the court, it is eight o'clock in the evening. in father's youth, when he attended the academy, he had lived at the south end of the city. he was then a member of a double quartette, mostly made up of choristers and petty tradesmen, who used to meet in a cellar near mosebacke. father had taken a notion to go and see if the little cellar was still there. it was, in fact, and father had the luck to run across a pair of old comrades who were seated there having their breakfast. they had received him with the greatest delight, had invited him to breakfast, and had celebrated his advent in stockholm in the friendliest way possible. when the breakfast was over, finally, father wanted to go home and unpack his furniture, but his friends persuaded him to remain and take dinner with them. this function was so long drawn out that he hadn't been able to go home until around eight o'clock. and it had cost him more than a slight effort to tear himself away from the lively place that early. when father comes home, the boys are in the dark, for they have no matches. father has a match in his pocket, and when he has lighted a little stump of a candle, which luckily had come along with their furnishings, he sees that the boys are hot and dusty, but well and happy and apparently very well pleased with their day. in the rooms the furniture is arranged alongside the walls, the boxes have been removed and straw and papers have been swept away. hugo is just turning down the boys' beds in the outer room. the inner room is to be father's bedroom, and there stands his bed, turned down with as great care as he could possibly wish. now a sudden revulsion of feeling possesses him. when he came home, he was displeased with himself because he had gone away from his work and had left the boys without food; but now, when he sees that they are in good spirits and not in any distress, he regrets that, for their sakes, he should have left his friends; and he becomes irritable and quarrelsome. he sees, no doubt, that the boys are proud of all the work they have accomplished and expect him to praise them; but this he is not at all inclined to do. instead, he asks who has been here and helped them, and begs them to remember that here in stockholm one gets nothing without money, and that the janitor must be paid for all he does. the boys answer that they have had no assistance and have got on by themselves. but father continues to grumble. it was wrong of them to open the big box. they might have hurt themselves on it. had he not forbidden them to open it? now they would have to obey him. he is the one who must answer for their welfare. he takes the candle, goes out into the kitchen, and peeps into the cupboards. the scanty supply of glass and porcelain is arranged on the shelves in an orderly manner. he scrutinizes everything very carefully to find an excuse for further complaint. all of a sudden he catches sight of some leavings from the boys' supper, and begins immediately to grumble because they have had chicken. where did they get it from? do they think of living like princes? is it his money they are throwing away on chicken? then he remembers that he had not left them any money. he wonders if they have stolen the chicken and becomes perturbed. he preaches and admonishes, scolds and fusses, but now he gets no response from the boys. they do not bother themselves about telling him where they got the chicken, but let him go on. he makes long speeches and exhausts his forces. finally he begs and implores. "i beseech you to tell me the truth. i will forgive you, no matter what you have done, if you will only tell me the truth!" now the boys can hold in no longer. father hears a spluttering sound. they throw off the quilts and sit up, and he notices that they are purple in the face from suppressed laughter. and as they can laugh now without restraint, lennart says between the paroxysms, "mother put a chicken in the food sack which she gave us when we left home." father, draws himself up, looks at the boys, wants to speak, but finds no suitable words. he becomes even more majestic in his bearing, looks with withering scorn at them, and goes to his room without further parley. * * * * * it has dawned upon father how handy the boys are, and he makes use of this fact to escape hiring servants. mornings he sends lennart into the kitchen to make coffee and lets hugo lay the breakfast-table and fetch bread from the baker's. after breakfast he sits down on a chair and watches how the boys make up the beds, sweep the floors, and build a fire in the grate. he gives endless orders and sends them from one task to another, only to show his authority. when the morning chores are over, he goes out and remains away all the forenoon. the dinner he lets them fetch from a cooking-school in the neighborhood. after dinner he leaves the boys for the evening, and exacts nothing more of them than that his bed shall be turned down when he comes home. the boys are practically alone almost the entire day and can busy themselves in any way they choose. one of their most important tasks is to write to their mother. they get letters from her every day, and she sends them paper and postage, so that they can answer her. mother's letters are mostly admonitions that they shall be good to their father. she writes constantly of how lovable father was when she first knew him, of how industrious and thrifty he was at the beginning of his career. they must be tender and kind to him. they must never forget how unhappy he is. "if you are very good to father, perhaps he may feel sorry for you and let you come home to me." mother tells them that she has called to see the dean and the burgomaster to ask if it were not possible to get back the boys. both of them had replied that there was no help for her. the boys would have to stay with their father. mother wants to move to stockholm that she may see her boys once in a while, at least, but every one advises her to have patience and abide her time. they think father will soon tire of the boys and send them home. mother doesn't quite know what she should do. on the one hand she thinks it dreadful that the boys are living in stockholm with no one to look after them, and on the other hand she knows that if she were to leave her home and her work, she could not take them and support them, even if they were freed. but for christmas, at all events, mother is coming to stockholm to look after them. the boys write and tell her what they do all day, hour by hour. they let mother know that they cook for father and make his bed. she apprehends that they are trying to be kind to him for her sake, but she probably perceives that they like him no better now than formerly. her little boys appear to be always alone. they live in a large city, where there are lots of people, but no one asks after them. and perhaps it is better thus. who can tell what might happen to them were they to make any acquaintances? they always beg of her not to be uneasy about them. they tell how they darn their stockings and sew on their buttons. they also intimate that lennart has made great headway with his invention and say that when this is finished all will be well. mother lives in a state of continual fear. night and day her thoughts are with her boys. night and day she prays god to watch over her little sons, who live alone in a great city, with no one to shield them from the temptations of the destroyer, and to keep their young hearts from the desire for evil. * * * * * father and the boys are sitting one morning at the opera. one of father's old comrades, who is with the royal orchestra, has invited him to be present at a symphony rehearsal, and father has taken the boys along. when the orchestra strikes up and the auditorium is filled with tone, father is so affected that he can't control himself, and begins to weep. he sobs and blows his nose and moans aloud, time and again. he puts no restraint upon his feelings, but makes such a noise that the musicians are disturbed. a guard comes along and beckons him away, and father takes the boys by the hand and slinks out without a word of protest. all the way home his tears continue to flow. father is walking on, with a boy on each side, and he has kept their hands in his all the while. suddenly the boys start crying. they understand now for the first time how much father has loved his art. it was painful for him to sit there, besotten and broken, and listen to others playing. they feel sorry for him who had never become what he might have been. it was with father as it might be with lennart were he never to finish his flying-machine, or with hugo if he were not to make any voyages of discovery. think if they should one day sit like old good-for-nothings and see fine airships sailing over their heads which they had not invented and were not allowed to pilot! * * * * * the boys were sitting one morning on opposite sides of the writing-table. father had taken a music roll under his arm and gone out. he had mumbled something about giving a music lesson, but the boys had not for a moment been tempted into believing this true. father is in an ugly mood as he walks up the street. he noticed the look the boys exchanged when he said that he was going to a music lesson. "they are setting themselves up as judges of their father," he thinks. "i am too indulgent toward them. i should have given them each a sound box on the ear. it's their mother, i dare say, who is setting them against me. suppose i were to keep an eye on the fine gentlemen?" he continues. "it would do no harm to find out how they attend to their lessons." he turns back, walks quietly across the court, opens the door very softly, and stands in the boys' room without either of them having heard him coming. the boys jump up, red in the face, and lennart quickly snatches a bundle of papers which he throws into the table drawer. when the boys had been in stockholm a day or two, they had asked which school they were to attend, and the father had replied that their school-going days were over now. he would try and procure a private tutor who would teach them. this proposition he had never carried into effect, nor had the boys said anything more about going to school. but in less than a week a school chart was discovered hanging on the wall in the boys' room. the school books had been brought forth, and every morning they sat on opposite sides of an old writing-table and studied their lessons aloud. it was evident that they had received letters from their mother counselling them to try and study, so as not to forget entirely what they had learned. now, as father unexpectedly comes into the room, he goes up to the chart first and studies it. he takes out his watch and compares. "wednesday, between ten and eleven, geography." then he comes up to the table. "shouldn't you have geography at this hour?" "yes," the boys reply, growing flame-red in the face. "have you the geography and the map?" the boys glance over at the book shelf and look confused. "we haven't begun yet," says lennart. "indeed!" says father. "you must have been up to something else." he straightens up, thoroughly pleased with himself. he has an advantage, which he doesn't care to let go until he has browbeaten them very effectually. both boys are silent. ever since the day they accompanied father to the opera, they have felt sympathy for him, and it has not been such an effort for them to be kind to him as it was before. but, naturally, they haven't for a moment thought of taking father into their confidence. he has not risen in their estimation although they are sorry for him. "were you writing letters?" father asks in his severest tone. "no," say both boys at the same time. "what were you doing?" "oh, just talking." "that isn't true. i saw that lennart hid something in the drawer of the table." now both boys are mum again. "take it out!" shouts the father, purple with rage. he thinks the sons have written to his wife, and, since they don't care to show the letter, of course there is something mean about him in it. the boys do not stir, and father raises his hand to strike lennart, who is sitting before the table drawer. "don't touch him!" cries hugo. "we were only talking over something which lennart has invented." hugo pushes lennart aside, opens the drawer, and pulls out the paper, which is scrawled full of airships of the most extraordinary shapes. "last night lennart thought out a new kind of sail for his airship. it was of this we were speaking." father wouldn't believe him. he bends over, searches in the drawer, but finds only sheets of paper covered with drawings of balloons, parachutes, flying-machines, and everything else appertaining to air-sailing. to the great surprise of the boys, father does not cast this aside at once, nor does he laugh at their attempts, but examines closely sheet after sheet. as a matter of fact, father, too, has a little leaning toward mechanics, and was interested in things of this sort in days gone by, when his brain was still good for something. soon he begins to ask questions as to the meaning of one thing and another, and inasmuch as his words betray that he is deeply interested and understands what he sees, lennart fights his bashfulness, and answers him, hesitatingly at first and then more willingly. soon father and boys are absorbed in a profound discussion about airships and air-sailing. after they are fairly well started, the boys chatter unreservedly and give father a share in their plans and dreams of greatness. and while the father comprehends, of course, that the boys cannot fly very far with the airship which they have constructed, he is very much impressed. his little sons talk of aluminum motors, aeroplanes, and balancers, as though they were the simplest things in the world. he had thought them regular blockheads because they didn't get on very fast at school. now, all at once, he believes they are a pair of little scientists. the high-soaring thoughts and aspirations father understands better than anything else; he cognizes them. he himself has dreamed in the same way, and he has no desire to laugh at such dreams. father doesn't go out again that morning, but sits and chats with the boys until it is time to fetch the food for dinner and set the table. and at that meal father and the boys are real good friends, to their great and mutual astonishment. * * * * * the hour is eleven at night, and father is staggering up the street. the little boys are walking on either side of him, and he holds their hands tightly clasped in his all the while. they have sought him out in one of his haunts, where they have stationed themselves just inside the door. father sits by himself at a table with a big brown toddy in front of him, and listens to a ladies' orchestra which is playing at the other end of the hall. after a moment's hesitancy he rises reluctantly and goes over to the boys. "what is it?" he asks. "why do you come here?" "father was to come home," they say. "this is the fifth of december. father promised--" then he remembers that lennart had confided to him that it was hugo's birthday and that he had promised him to come home early. but this he had entirely forgotten. hugo was probably expecting a birthday present from him, but he had not remembered to get him one. at any rate, he has gone with the boys and is walking along, displeased with them and with himself. when he comes home, the birthday table is laid. the boys had wished to give a little party. lennart had creamed some pancakes, which are now a few hours old and look like pieces of leather. they had received a little money from their mother, and with this they had bought nuts, raisins, and a bottle of soda-water. this fine feast they did not care to enjoy all by themselves, and they had been sitting and waiting for father to come home and share it with them. now, since they and father have become friends, they cannot celebrate such a big event without him. father understands it all, and the thought of being missed flatters him and puts him in a fairly good humor. half full as he is, he plumps himself down at the table. just as he is about to take his place he stumbles, clutches at the table-cloth, falls, and draws down on the floor everything on the table. as he raises himself, he sees how the soda flows out over the floor and pickles and pancakes are strewn about among bits of porcelain and broken glass. father glances at the boys' long faces, rips out an oath, and makes a rush for the door, and he doesn't come back home until on towards morning. * * * * * one morning in february, the boys are coming up the street with their skates dangling from their shoulders. they are not quite like themselves. they have grown thin and pale and look untidy and uncared for. their hair is uncut; they are not well washed and they have holes in both stockings and shoes. when they address each other, they use a lot of street-boy expressions, and one and another oath escapes from their lips. a change has taken place in the boys. it had its beginning on the evening when their father forgot to come home to help celebrate hugo's birthday. it was as if until that time they had been kept up by the hope that soon their father would be a changed man. at first they had counted on his tiring of them and sending them home. later, they had fancied that he would become fond of them and give up drinking for their sakes, and they had even imagined that mother and he might become reconciled and that all of them would be happy. but it dawned upon them that night that father was impossible. he could love nothing but drink. even if he were kind to them for a little while, he didn't really care for them. a heavy hopelessness fell upon the boys; nothing would ever be changed for them. they should never get away from father. they felt as though they were doomed to sit shut in a dark prison all their lives. not even their great plans for the future could comfort them. in the way that they were bound down, these plans could never be carried out. only think, they were not learning anything! they knew enough of the histories of great men to know that he who wants to accomplish anything noteworthy must first of all have knowledge. still the hardest blow was that mother did not come to them at christmas. in the beginning of december she had fallen down stairs and broken her leg, and was forced to lie in a hospital during the christmas holidays, therefore she could not come to stockholm. now that mother was up, her school had begun again. apart from this, she had no money with which to travel. the little that she had saved was spent while she lay ill. the boys felt themselves deserted by the whole world. it was obvious that it never would be any better for them, no matter how good they were! so, gradually, they ceased to exert themselves with the sort of things that were tiresome. they might just as well do that which amused them. the boys began to shirk their morning studies. no one heard their lessons, so what was the use of their studying? there had been good skating for a couple of days and they might as well play truant all day. on the ice there were always throngs of boys, and they had made the acquaintance of a number who also preferred skating to being shut in the house with their books. it has turned out to be such a fine day that it is impossible to think of staying indoors. the weather is so clear and sunny that the school children have been granted skating leave. the whole street is filled with children, who have been home to get their skates and are now hurrying down to the ice. the boys, as they move among the other children, appear solemn and low-spirited. not a smile lights up their faces. their misfortune is so heavy that they cannot forget it for a second. when they come down on the ice, it is full of life and movement. all along the edges it is bordered with a tight mass of people; farther out, the skaters circle around one another, like gnats, and still farther out, solitary black specks that float along at lightning speed are seen. the boys buckle on their skates and join the other skaters. they skate very well, and as they glide out on the ice, full speed, they get color in their cheeks and their eyes sparkle, but not for a moment do they appear happy, like other children. all of a sudden, as they are making a turn toward land, they catch sight of something very pretty. a big balloon comes from the direction of stockholm and is sailing out toward salt lake. it is striped in reds and yellows, and when the sun strikes it it glitters like a ball of fire. the basket is decorated with many-hued flags, and as the balloon does not fly very high the bright color-play can be seen quite plainly. when the boys spy the balloon, they send up a shriek of delight. it is the first time in their lives that they have seen a big balloon sailing through the air. all the dreams and plans which have been their consolation and joy during the many trying days come back to them when they see it. they stand still that they may observe how the ropes and lines are fastened; and they take note of the anchor and the sand bags on the edge of the car. the balloon moves with good speed over the ice-bound fiord. all the skaters, big and little, dart around one another, laughing and hooting at it when it first comes into sight, and then they bound after it. they follow it out to sea, in a long swaying line, like a drag line. the air-sailors amuse themselves by scattering handfuls of paper strips in a variety of colors, which come circling down slowly through the blue air. the boys are foremost in the long line that is chasing after the balloon. they hurry forward, with heads thrown back, and gaze steadily turned upward. their eyes dance with delight for the first time since they parted from their mother. they are beside themselves with excitement over the airship and think of nothing else than to follow it as long as possible. but the balloon moves ahead rapidly, and one has to be a good skater not to be left behind. the crowd chasing after it thins down, but in the lead of those who keep up the pursuit the two little boys are seen. afterwards people said there was something strange about them. they neither laughed nor shouted, but on their upturned faces there was a look of transport--as though they had seen a heavenly vision. the balloon also affects the boys like a celestial guide, who has come to lead them back to the right path and teach them how to go forward with renewed courage. when the boys see it, their hearts bound with longing to begin work again on the great invention. once more they feel confident and happy. if only they are patient, they'll probably work their way toward success. a day will surely come when they can step into their own airship and soar aloft in space. some day _they_ will be the ones who travel up there, far above the people, and _their_ airship will be more perfect than the one they now see. theirs shall be an airship that can be steered and turned, lowered and raised, sail against wind and without wind. it shall carry them by day and by night, wherever they may wish to travel. they shall descend to the highest mountain peaks, travel over the dreariest deserts, and explore the most inaccessible regions. they shall behold all the glories of the world. "it isn't worth while to lose heart, hugo," says lennart. "we'll have a fine time if we can only finish it!" father and his ill-luck are things which do not concern them any more. one who has something as great to strive for as they have cannot let himself be hindered by anything so pitiable! the balloon gains in speed the farther out it comes. the skaters have ceased following it. the only ones who continue the chase are the two little boys. they move ahead as swiftly and lightly as if their feet had taken on wings. suddenly the people who stand on the shore and can look far out across the fiord send up a great cry of horror and fear. they see that the balloon, pursued all the while by the two children, sails away toward the fairway, where there is open sea. "open sea! it is open sea out there!" the people shout. the skaters down on the ice hear the shouts and turn their eyes toward the mouth of the fiord. they see how a strip of water shimmers in the sunlight yonder. they see, also, that two little boys are skating toward this strip, which they do not notice because their eyes are fixed on the balloon; and not for a second do they turn them toward earth. the people are calling out with all their might and stamping on the ice. fast runners are hurrying on to stop them; but the little ones mark nothing of all this, where they are chasing after the airship. they do not know that they alone are following it. they hear no cries back of them. they do not hear the splash and roar of the water ahead of them. they see only the balloon, which as it were carries them with it. lennart already feels his own airship rising under him, and hugo soars away over the north pole. the people on the ice and on the shore see how rapidly they are nearing the open sea. for a second or two they are in such breathless suspense that they can neither move nor cry out. it seems as if the two children are under a magic spell--in their chase after a shining heavenly vision. the air-sailors up in the balloon have also caught a glimpse of the little boys. they see that they are in danger and scream at them and make warning gestures; but the boys do not understand them. when they notice that the air-sailors are making signs at them, they think they want to take them up into the car. they stretch their arms toward them, overjoyed in the hope of accompanying them through the bright upper regions. at this moment the boys have reached the sailing channel, and, with arms uplifted, they skate down into the water and disappear without a cry for help. the skaters, who have tried to reach them in time, are standing a couple of seconds later on the edge of the ice, but the current has carried their bodies under the ice, and no helping hand can reach them. the wedding march now i'm going to tell a pretty story. a good many years ago there was to be a very big wedding at svartsjö parish in vermland. first, there was to be a church ceremony and after that three days of feasting and merrymaking, and every day while the festivities lasted there was to be dancing from early morning till far into the night. since there was to be so much dancing, it was of very great importance to get a good fiddler, and juryman nils olafsson, who was managing the wedding, worried almost more over this than over anything else. the fiddler they had at svartsjö he did not care to engage. his name was jan öster. the juryman knew, to be sure, that he had quite a big name; but he was so poor that sometimes he would appear at a wedding in a frayed jacket and without shoes to his feet. the juryman didn't wish to see such a ragtag at the head of the bridal procession, so he decided to send a messenger to a musician in jösse parish, who was commonly called fiddler mårten, and ask him if he wouldn't come and play at the wedding. fiddler mårten didn't consider the proposition for a second, but promptly replied that he did not want to play at svartsjö, because in that parish lived a musician who was more skilled than all others in vermland. while they had him, there was no need for them to call another. when nils olafsson received this answer, he took a few days to think it over, and then he sent word to a fiddler in big kil parish, named olle in säby, to ask him if he wouldn't come and play at his daughter's wedding. olle in säby answered in the same way as fiddler mårten. he sent his compliments to nils olafsson, and said that so long as there was such a capable musician as jan öster to be had in svartsjö, he didn't want to go there to play. nils olafsson didn't like it that the musicians tried in this way to force upon him the very one he did not want. now he considered that it was a point of honor with him to get another fiddler than jan öster. a few days after he had the answer from olle in säby, he sent his servant to fiddler lars larsson, who lived at the game lodge in ullerud parish. lars larsson was a well-to-do man who owned a fine farm. he was sensible and considerate and no hotspur, like the other musicians. but lars larsson, like the others, at once thought of jan öster, and asked how it happened that he was not to play at the wedding. nils olafsson's servant thought it best to say to him that, since jan öster lived at svartsjö, they could hear him play at any time. as nils olafsson was making ready to give a grand wedding, he wished to treat his guests to something a little better and more select. "i doubt if you can get any one better," said lars larsson. "now you must be thinking of answering in the same way as fiddler mårten and olle in säby did," said the servant. then he told him how he had fared with them. lars larsson paid close attention to the servant's story, and then he sat quietly for a long while and pondered. finally he answered in the affirmative: "tell your master that i thank him for his invitation and will come." the following sunday lars larsson journeyed down to svartsjö. he drove up to the church knoll just as the wedding guests were forming into line to march to the church. he came driving in his own chaise and with a good horse and dressed in black broadcloth. he took out his fiddle from a highly polished box. nils olafsson received him effusively, thinking that here was a fiddler of whom he might be proud. immediately after lars larsson's arrival, jan öster, too, came marching up to the church, with his fiddle under his arm. he walked straight up to the crowd around the bride, exactly as if he were asked to come and play at the wedding. jan öster had come in the old gray homespun jacket which they had seen him wearing for ages. but, as this was to be such a grand wedding, his wife had made an attempt at mending the holes at the elbow by sewing big green patches over them. jan öster was a tall handsome man, and would have made a fine appearance at the head of the bridal procession, had he not been so shabbily dressed, and had his face not been so lined and seamed by worries and the hard struggle with misfortune. when lars larsson saw jan öster coming, he seemed a bit displeased. "so you have called jan öster, too," he said under his breath to the juryman nils olafsson, "but at a grand wedding there's no harm in having two fiddlers." "i did not invite him, that's certain!" protested nils olafsson. "i can't comprehend why he has come. just wait, and i'll let him know that he has no business here!" "then some practical joker must have bidden him," said lars larsson. "but if you care to be guided by my counsel, appear as if nothing were wrong and go over and bid him welcome. i have heard said that he is a quick-tempered man, and who knows but he may begin to quarrel and fight if you were to tell him that he was not invited?" this the juryman knew, too! it was no time to begin fussing when the bridal procession was forming on the church grounds; so he walked up to jan öster and bade him be welcome. thereupon the two fiddlers took their places at the head of the procession. the bridal pair walked under a canopy, the bridesmaids and the groomsmen marched in pairs, and after them came the parents and relatives; so the procession was both imposing and long. when everything was in readiness, a groomsman stepped up to the musicians and asked them to play the wedding march. both musicians swung their fiddles up to their chins, but beyond that they did not get. and thus they stood! it was an old custom in svartsjö for the best fiddler to strike up the wedding march and to lead the music. the groomsman looked at lars larsson, as though he were waiting for him to start; but lars larsson looked at jan öster and said, "it is you, jan öster, who must begin." it did not seem possible to jan öster that the other fiddler, who was as finely dressed as any gentleman, should not be better than himself, who had come in his old homespun jacket straight from the wretched hovel where there were only poverty and distress. "no, indeed!" said he. "no, indeed!" he saw that the bridegroom put forth his hand and touched lars larsson. "larsson shall begin," said he. when jan öster heard the bridegroom say this, he promptly lowered his fiddle and stepped aside. lars larsson, on the other hand, did not move from the spot, but remained standing in his place, confident and pleased with himself. nor did he raise the bow. "it is jan öster who shall begin," he repeated stubbornly and resistingly, as one who is used to having his own way. there was some commotion among the crowds over the cause of the delay. the bride's father came forward and begged lars larsson to begin. the sexton stepped to the door of the church and beckoned to them to hurry along. the parson stood waiting at the altar. "you can ask jan öster to begin, then," said lars larsson. "we musicians consider him to be the best among us." "that may be so," said a peasant, "but we peasants consider you the best one." then the other peasants also gathered around them. "well, begin, why don't you?" they said. "the parson is waiting. we'll become a laughing-stock to the church people." lars larsson stood there quite as stubborn and determined as before. "i can't see why the people in this parish are so opposed to having their own fiddler placed in the lead." nils olafsson was perfectly furious because they wished in this way to force jan öster upon him. he came close up to lars larsson and whispered: "i comprehend that it is you who have called hither jan öster, and that you have arranged this to do him honor. but be quick, now, and play up, or i'll drive that ragamuffin from the church grounds in disgrace and by force!" lars larsson looked him square in the face and nodded to him without displaying any irritation. "yes, you are right in saying that we must have an end of this," said he. he beckoned to jan öster to return to his place. then he himself walked forward a step or two, and turned around that all might see him. then he flung the bow far from him, pulled out his case-knife, and cut all four violin strings, which snapped with a sharp twang. "it shall not be said of me that i count myself better than jan öster!" said he. it appears that for three years jan öster had been musing on an air which he couldn't get out over the strings because at home he was bound down by dull, gray cares and worries, and nothing ever happened to him, either great or small, to lift him above the daily grind. but when he heard lars larsson's strings snap, he threw back his head and filled his lungs. his features were rapt, as though he were listening to something far away; and then he began to play. and the air which he had been musing over for three years became all at once clear to him, and as the tones of it vibrated he walked with proud step down to the church. the bridal procession had never before heard an air like that! it carried them along with such speed that not even nils olafsson could think of staying back. and every one was so pleased both with jan öster and with lars larsson that the entire following entered the church, their eyes brimming with tears of joy. the musician no one in ullerud could say anything of fiddler lars larsson but that he was both meek and modest in his later years. but he had not always been thus, it seems. in his youth he had been so overbearing and boastful that people were in despair about him. it is said that he was changed and made over in a single night, and this is the way it happened. lars larsson went out for a stroll late one saturday night, with his fiddle under his arm. he was excessively gay and jovial, for he had just come from a party where his playing had tempted both young and old to dance. he walked along, thinking that while his bow was in motion no one had been able to sit still. there had been such a whirl in the cabin that once or twice he fancied the chairs and tables were dancing too! "i verily believe they have never before had a musician like me in these parts," he remarked to himself. "but i had a mighty rough time of it before i became such a clever chap!" he continued. "when i was a child, it was no fun for me when my parents put me to tending cows and sheep and when i forgot everything else to sit and twang my fiddle. and just fancy! they wouldn't so much as give me a real violin. i had nothing to play on but an old wooden box over which i had stretched some strings. in the daytime, when i could be alone in the woods, i fared rather well; but it was none too cheerful to come home in the evening when the cattle had strayed from me! then i heard often enough, from both father and mother, that i was a good-for-nothing and never would amount to anything." in that part of the forest where lars larsson was strolling a little river was trying to find its way. the ground was stony and hilly, and the stream had great difficulty in getting ahead, winding this way and that way, rolling over little falls and rapids--and yet it appeared to get nowhere. the path where the fiddler walked, on the other hand, tried to go as straight ahead as possible. therefore it was continually meeting the sinuous stream, and each time it would dart across it by using a little bridge. the musician also had to cross the stream repeatedly, and he was glad of it. he thought it was as though he had found company in the forest. where he was tramping it was light summer-night. the sun had not yet come up, but its being away made no difference, for it was as light as day all the same. still the light was not quite what it is in the daytime. everything had a different color. the sky was perfectly white, the trees and the growths on the ground were grayish, but everything was as distinctly visible as in the daytime, and when lars larsson paused on any of the numerous bridges and looked down into the stream, he could distinguish every ripple on the water. "when i see a stream like this in the wilderness," he thought, "i am reminded of my own life. as persistent as this stream have i been in forcing my way past all that has obstructed my path. father has been my rock ahead, and mother tried to hold me back and bury me between moss-tufts, but i stole past both of them and got out in the world. hay-ho, hi, hi! i think mother is still sitting at home and weeping for me. but what do i care! she might have known that i should amount to something some day, instead of trying to oppose me!" impatiently he tore some leaves from a branch and threw them into the river. "look! thus have i torn myself loose from everything at home," he said, as he watched the leaves borne away by the water. "i am just wondering if mother knows that i'm the best musician in vermland?" he remarked as he went farther. he walked on rapidly until he came across the stream again. then he stopped and looked into the water. here the river went along in a struggling rapid, creating a terrible racket. as it was night, one heard from the stream sounds quite different from those of the daytime, and the musician was perfectly astonished when he stood still and listened. there was no bird song in the trees and no music in the pines and no rustling in the leaves. no wagon wheels creaked in the road and no cow-bells tinkled in the wood. one heard only the rapid; but because all the other things were hushed, it could be heard so much better than during the day. it sounded as though everything thinkable and unthinkable was rioting and clamoring in the depths of the stream. first, it sounded as if some one were sitting down there and grinding grain between stones, and then it sounded as though goblets were clinking in a drinking-bout; and again there was a murmuring, as when the congregation had left the church and were standing on the church knoll after the service, talking earnestly together. "i suppose this, too, is a kind of music," thought the fiddler, "although i can't find anything much in it! i think the air that i composed the other day was much more worth listening to." but the longer lars larsson listened to the music of the rapid, the better he thought it sounded. "i believe you are improving," he said to the rapid. "it must have dawned upon you that the best musician in vermland is listening to you!" the instant he had made this remark, he fancied he heard a couple of clear metallic sounds, as when some one picks a violin string to hear if it is in tune. "but see, hark! the water-sprite himself has arrived. i can hear how he begins to thrum on the violin. let us hear now if you can play better than i!" said lars larsson, laughing. "but i can't stand here all night waiting for you to begin," he called to the water. "now i must be going; but i promise you that i will also stop at the next bridge and listen, to hear if you can cope with me." he went farther and, as the stream in its winding course ran into the wood, he began thinking once more of his home. "i wonder how the little brooklet that runs by our house is getting on? i should like to see it again. i ought to go home once in a while, to see if mother is suffering want and hardship since father's death. but busy as i am, it is almost impossible. as busy as i am just now, i say, i can't look after anything but the fiddle. there is hardly an evening in the week that i am at liberty." in a little while he met the stream again, and his thoughts were turned to something else. at this crossing the river did not come rushing on in a noisy rapid, but glided ahead rather quietly. it lay perfectly black and shiny under the night-gray forest trees, and carried with it one and another patch of snow-white scum from the rapids above. when the musician came down upon the bridge and heard no sound from the stream but a soft swish now and then, he began to laugh. "i might have known that the water-sprite wouldn't care to come to the meeting," he shouted. "to be sure, i have always heard that he is considered an excellent performer, but one who lies still forever in a brook and never hears anything new can't know very much! he perceives, no doubt, that here stands one who knows more about music than he, therefore he doesn't care to let me hear him." then he went farther and lost sight of the river again. he came into a part of the forest which he had always thought dismal and bleak to wander through. there the ground was covered with big stone heaps, and gnarled pine stumps lay uprooted among them. if there was anything magical or fearsome in the forest, one would naturally think that it concealed itself here. when the musician came in among the wild stone blocks, a shudder passed through him, and he began to wonder if it had not been unwise of him to boast in the presence of the water-sprite. he fancied the large pine roots began to gesticulate, as if they were threatening him. "beware, you who think yourself cleverer than the water-sprite!" it seemed as if they wanted to say. lars larsson felt how his heart contracted with dread. a heavy weight bore down upon his chest, so that he could scarcely breathe, and his hands became ice-cold. then he stopped in the middle of the wood and tried to talk sense to himself. "why, there's no musician in the waterfall!" said he. "such things are only superstition and nonsense! it's of no consequence what i have said or haven't said to him." as he spoke, he looked around him, as if for some confirmation of the truth of what he said. had it been daytime, every tiny leaf would have winked at him that there was nothing dangerous in the wood; but now, at night, the leaves on the trees were closed and silent and looked as though they were hiding all sorts of dangerous secrets. lars larsson grew more and more alarmed. that which caused him the greatest fear was having to cross the stream once more before it and the road parted company and went in different directions. he wondered what the water-sprite would do to him when he walked across the last bridge--if he might perhaps stretch a big black hand out of the water and drag him down into the depths. he had worked himself into such a state of fright that he thought of turning back. but then he would meet the stream again. and if he were to turn out of the road and go into the wood, he would also meet it, the way it kept bending and winding itself! he felt so nervous that he didn't know what to do. he was snared and captured and bound by that stream, and saw no possibility of escape. finally he saw before him the last bridge crossing. directly opposite him, on the other side of the stream, stood an old mill, which must have been abandoned these many years. the big mill-wheel hung motionless over the water. the sluice-gate lay mouldering on the land; the mill-race was moss-grown, and its sides were lined with common fern and beard-moss. "if all had been as formerly and there were people here," thought the musician, "i should be safe now from all danger." but, at all events, he felt reassured in seeing a building constructed by human hands, and, as he crossed the stream, he was scarcely frightened at all. nor did anything dreadful happen to him. the water-sprite seemed to have no quarrel with him. he was simply amazed to think he had worked himself into a panic over nothing whatever. he felt very happy and secure, and became even happier when the mill door opened and a young girl came out to him. she looked like an ordinary peasant girl. she had a cotton kerchief on her head and wore a short skirt and full jacket, but her feet were bare. she walked up to the musician and said to him without further ceremony, "if you will play for me, i'll dance for you." "why, certainly," said the fiddler, who was in fine spirits now that he was rid of his fear. "that i can do, of course. i have never in my life refused to play for a pretty girl who wants to dance." he took his place on a stone near the edge of the mill-pond, raised the violin to his chin, and began to play. the girl took a few steps in rhythm with the music; then she stopped. "what kind of a polka are you playing?" said she. "there is no vim in it." the fiddler changed his tune; he tried one with more life in it. the girl was just as dissatisfied. "i can't dance to such a draggy polka," said she. then lars larsson struck up the wildest air he knew. "if you are not satisfied with this one," he said, "you will have to call hither a better musician than i am." the instant he said this, he felt that a hand caught his arm at the elbow and began to guide the bow and increase the tempo. then from the violin there poured forth a strain the like of which he had never before heard. it moved in such a quick tempo he thought that a rolling wheel couldn't have kept up with it. "now, that's what i call a polka!" said the girl, and began to swing round. but the musician did not glance at her. he was so astonished at the air he was playing that he stood with closed eyes, to hear better. when he opened them after a moment, the girl was gone. but he did not wonder much at this. he continued to play on, long and well, only because he had never before heard such violin playing. "it must be time now to finish with this," he thought finally, and wanted to lay down the bow. but the bow kept up its motion; he couldn't make it stop. it travelled back and forth over the strings and jerked the hand and arm with it; and the hand that held the neck of the violin and fingered the strings could not free itself, either. the cold sweat stood out on lars larsson's brow, and he was frightened now in earnest. "how will this end? shall i sit here and play till doomsday?" he asked himself in despair. the bow ran on and on, and magically called forth one tune after another. always it was something new, and it was so beautiful that the poor fiddler must have known how little his own skill was worth. and it was this that tortured him worse than the fatigue. "he who plays upon my violin understands the art. but never in all my born days have i been anything but a bungler. now for the first time i'm learning how music should sound." for a few seconds he became so transported by the music that he forgot his evil fate; then he felt how his arm ached from weariness and he was seized anew with despair. "this violin i cannot lay down until i have played myself to death. i can understand that the water-sprite won't be satisfied with less." he began to weep over himself, but all the while he kept on playing. "it would have been better for me had i stayed at home in the little cabin with mother. what is all the glory worth if it is to end in this way?" he sat there hour after hour. morning came on, the sun rose, and the birds sang all around him; but he played and he played, without intermission. as it was a sunday that dawned, he had to sit there by the old mill all alone. no human beings tramped in this part of the forest. they went to church down in the dale, and to the villages along the big highway. forenoon came along, and the sun stepped higher and higher in the sky. the birds grew silent, and the wind began to murmur in the long pine needles. lars larsson did not let the summer day's heat deter him. he played and played. at last evening was ushered in, the sun sank, but his bow needed no rest, and his arm continued to move. "it is absolutely certain that this will be the death of me!" said he. "and it is a righteous punishment for all my conceit." far along in the evening a human being came wandering through the wood. it was a poor old woman with bent back and white hair, and a countenance that was furrowed by many sorrows. "it seems strange," thought the player, "but i think i recognize that old woman. can it be possible that it is my mother? can it be possible that mother has grown so old and gray?" he called aloud and stopped her. "mother, mother, come here to me!" he cried. she paused, as if unwillingly. "i hear now with my own ears that you are the best musician in vermland," said she. "i can well understand that you do not care any more for a poor old woman like me!" "mother, mother, don't pass me by!" cried lars larsson. "i'm no great performer--only a poor wretch. come here that i may speak with you!" then the mother came nearer and saw how he sat and played. his face was as pale as death, his hair dripped sweat, and blood oozed out from under the roots of his nails. "mother, i have fallen into misfortune because of my vanity, and now i must play myself to death. but tell me, before this happens, if you can forgive me, who left you alone and poor in your old age!" his mother was seized with a great compassion for the son, and all the anger she had felt toward him was as if blown away. "why, surely i forgive you!" said she. and as she saw his anguish and bewilderment and wanted him to understand that she meant what she said, she repeated it in the name of god. "in the name of god our redeemer, i forgive you!" and when she said this, the bow stopped, the violin fell to the ground, and the musician arose saved and redeemed. for the enchantment was broken, because his old mother had felt such compassion for his distress that she had spoken god's name over him. the legend of the christmas rose robber mother, who lived in robbers' cave up in göinge forest, went down to the village one day on a begging tour. robber father, who was an outlawed man, did not dare to leave the forest, but had to content himself with lying in wait for the wayfarers who ventured within its borders. but at that time travellers were not very plentiful in southern skåne. if it so happened that the man had had a few weeks of ill luck with his hunt, his wife would take to the road. she took with her five youngsters, and each youngster wore a ragged leathern suit and birch-bark shoes and bore a sack on his back as long as himself. when robber mother stepped inside the door of a cabin, no one dared refuse to give her whatever she demanded; for she was not above coming back the following night and setting fire to the house if she had not been well received. robber mother and her brood were worse than a pack of wolves, and many a man felt like running a spear through them; but it was never done, because they all knew that the man stayed up in the forest, and he would have known how to wreak vengeance if anything had happened to the children or the old woman. now that robber mother went from house to house and begged, she came one day to övid, which at that time was a cloister. she rang the bell of the cloister gate and asked for food. the watchman let down a small wicket in the gate and handed her six round bread cakes--one for herself and one for each of the five children. while the mother was standing quietly at the gate, her youngsters were running about. and now one of them came and pulled at her skirt, as a signal that he had discovered something which she ought to come and see, and robber mother followed him promptly. the entire cloister was surrounded by a high and strong wall, but the youngster had managed to find a little back gate which stood ajar. when robber mother got there, she pushed the gate open and walked inside without asking leave, as it was her custom to do. övid cloister was managed at that time by abbot hans, who knew all about herbs. just within the cloister wall he had planted a little herb garden, and it was into this that the old woman had forced her way. at first glance robber mother was so astonished that she paused at the gate. it was high summertide, and abbot hans' garden was so full of flowers that the eyes were fairly dazzled by the blues, reds, and yellows, as one looked into it. but presently an indulgent smile spread over her features, and she started to walk up a narrow path that lay between many flower-beds. in the garden a lay brother walked about, pulling up weeds. it was he who had left the door in the wall open, that he might throw the weeds and tares on the rubbish heap outside. when he saw robber mother coming in, with all five youngsters in tow, he ran toward her at once and ordered them away. but the beggar woman walked right on as before. she cast her eyes up and down, looking now at the stiff white lilies which spread near the ground, then on the ivy climbing high upon the cloister wall, and took no notice whatever of the lay brother. he thought she had not understood him, and wanted to take her by the arm and turn her toward the gate. but when the robber woman saw his purpose, she gave him a look that sent him reeling backward. she had been walking with back bent under her beggar's pack, but now she straightened herself to her full height. "i am robber mother from göinge forest; so touch me if you dare!" and it was obvious that she was as certain she would be left in peace as if she had announced that she was the queen of denmark. and yet the lay brother dared to oppose her, although now, when he knew who she was, he spoke reasonably to her. "you must know, robber mother, that this is a monks' cloister, and no woman in the land is allowed within these walls. if you do not go away, the monks will be angry with me because i forgot to close the gate, and perhaps they will drive me away from the cloister and the herb garden." but such prayers were wasted on robber mother. she walked straight ahead among the little flower-beds and looked at the hyssop with its magenta blossoms, and at the honeysuckles, which were full of deep orange-colored flower clusters. then the lay brother knew of no other remedy than to run into the cloister and call for help. he returned with two stalwart monks, and robber mother saw that now it meant business! with feet firmly planted she stood in the path and began shrieking in strident tones all the awful vengeance she would wreak on the cloister if she couldn't remain in the herb garden as long as she wished. but the monks did not see why they need fear her and thought only of driving her out. then robber mother let out a perfect volley of shrieks, and, throwing herself upon the monks, clawed and bit at them; so did all the youngsters. the men soon learned that she could overpower them, and all they could do was to go back into the cloister for reinforcements. as they ran through the passage-way which led to the cloister, they met abbot hans, who came rushing out to learn what all this noise was about. then they had to confess that robber mother from göinge forest had come into the cloister and that they were unable to drive her out and must call for assistance. but abbot hans upbraided them for using force and forbade their calling for help. he sent both monks back to their work, and although he was an old and fragile man, he took with him only the lay brother. when abbot hans came out in the garden, robber mother was still wandering among the flower-beds. he regarded her with astonishment. he was certain that robber mother had never before seen an herb garden; yet she sauntered leisurely between all the small patches, each of which had been planted with its own species of rare flower, and looked at them as if they were old acquaintances. at some she smiled, at others she shook her head. abbot hans loved his herb garden as much as it was possible for him to love anything earthly and perishable. wild and terrible as the old woman looked, he couldn't help liking that she had fought with three monks for the privilege of viewing the garden in peace. he came up to her and asked in a mild tone if the garden pleased her. robber mother turned defiantly toward abbot hans, for she expected only to be trapped and overpowered. but when she noticed his white hair and bent form, she answered peaceably, "first, when i saw this, i thought i had never seen a prettier garden; but now i see that it can't be compared with one i know of." abbot hans had certainly expected a different answer. when he heard that robber mother had seen a garden more beautiful than his, a faint flush spread over his withered cheek. the lay brother, who was standing close by, immediately began to censure the old woman. "this is abbot hans," said he, "who with much care and diligence has gathered the flowers from far and near for his herb garden. we all know that there is not a more beautiful garden to be found in all skåne, and it is not befitting that you, who live in the wild forest all the year around, should find fault with his work." "i don't wish to make myself the judge of either him or you," said robber mother. "i'm only saying that if you could see the garden of which i am thinking you would uproot all the flowers planted here and cast them away like weeds." but the abbot's assistant was hardly less proud of the flowers than the abbot himself, and after hearing her remarks he laughed derisively. "i can understand that you only talk like this to tease us. it must be a pretty garden that you have made for yourself amongst the pines in göinge forest! i'd be willing to wager my soul's salvation that you have never before been within the walls of an herb garden." robber mother grew crimson with rage to think that her word was doubted, and she cried out: "it may be true that until to-day i had never been within the walls of an herb garden; but you monks, who are holy men, certainly must know that on every christmas eve the great göinge forest is transformed into a beautiful garden, to commemorate the hour of our lord's birth. we who live in the forest have seen this happen every year. and in that garden i have seen flowers so lovely that i dared not lift my hand to pluck them." the lay brother wanted to continue the argument, but abbot hans gave him a sign to be silent. for, ever since his childhood, abbot hans had heard it said that on every christmas eve the forest was dressed in holiday glory. he had often longed to see it, but he had never had the good fortune. eagerly he begged and implored robber mother that he might come up to the robbers' cave on christmas eve. if she would only send one of her children to show him the way, he could ride up there alone, and he would never betray them--on the contrary, he would reward them, in so far as it lay in his power. robber mother said no at first, for she was thinking of robber father and of the peril which might befall him should she permit abbot hans to ride up to their cave. at the same time the desire to prove to the monk that the garden which she knew was more beautiful than his got the better of her, and she gave in. "but more than one follower you cannot take with you," said she, "and you are not to waylay us or trap us, as sure as you are a holy man." this abbot hans promised, and then robber mother went her way. abbot hans commanded the lay brother not to reveal to a soul that which had been agreed upon. he feared that the monks, should they learn of his purpose, would not allow a man of his years to go up to the robbers' cave. nor did he himself intend to reveal his project to a human being. and then it happened that archbishop absalon from lund came to övid and remained through the night. when abbot hans was showing him the herb garden, he got to thinking of robber mother's visit, and the lay brother, who was at work in the garden, heard abbot hans telling the bishop about robber father, who these many years had lived as an outlaw in the forest, and asking him for a letter of ransom for the man, that he might lead an honest life among respectable folk. "as things are now," said abbot hans, "his children are growing up into worse malefactors than himself, and you will soon have a whole gang of robbers to deal with up there in the forest." but the archbishop replied that he did not care to let the robber loose among honest folk in the villages. it would be best for all that he remain in the forest. then abbot hans grew zealous and told the bishop all about göinge forest, which, every year at yuletide, clothed itself in summer bloom around the robbers' cave. "if these bandits are not so bad but that god's glories can be made manifest to them, surely we cannot be too wicked to experience the same blessing." the archbishop knew how to answer abbot hans. "this much i will promise you, abbot hans," he said, smiling, "that any day you send me a blossom from the garden in göinge forest, i will give you letters of ransom for all the outlaws you may choose to plead for." the lay brother apprehended that bishop absalon believed as little in this story of robber mother's as he himself; but abbot hans perceived nothing of the sort, but thanked absalon for his good promise and said that he would surely send him the flower. * * * * * abbot hans had his way. and the following christmas eve he did not sit at home with his monks in övid cloister, but was on his way to göinge forest. one of robber mother's wild youngsters ran ahead of him, and close behind him was the lay brother who had talked with robber mother in the herb garden. abbot hans had been longing to make this journey, and he was very happy now that it had come to pass. but it was a different matter with the lay brother who accompanied him. abbot hans was very dear to him, and he would not willingly have allowed another to attend him and watch over him; but he didn't believe that he should see any christmas eve garden. he thought the whole thing a snare which robber mother had, with great cunning, laid for abbot hans, that he might fall into her husband's clutches. while abbot hans was riding toward the forest, he saw that everywhere they were preparing to celebrate christmas. in every peasant settlement fires were lighted in the bath-house to warm it for the afternoon bathing. great hunks of meat and bread were being carried from the larders into the cabins, and from the barns came the men with big sheaves of straw to be strewn over the floors. as he rode by the little country churches, he observed that each parson, with his sexton, was busily engaged in decorating his church; and when he came to the road which leads to bösjo cloister, he observed that all the poor of the parish were coming with armfuls of bread and long candles, which they had received at the cloister gate. when abbot hans saw all these christmas preparations, his haste increased. he was thinking of the festivities that awaited him, which were greater than any the others would be privileged to enjoy. but the lay brother whined and fretted when he saw how they were preparing to celebrate christmas in every humble cottage. he grew more and more anxious, and begged and implored abbot hans to turn back and not to throw himself deliberately into the robber's hands. abbot hans went straight ahead, paying no heed to his lamentations. he left the plain behind him and came up into desolate and wild forest regions. here the road was bad, almost like a stony and burr-strewn path, with neither bridge nor plank to help them over brooklet and rivulet. the farther they rode, the colder it grew, and after a while they came upon snow-covered ground. it turned out to be a long and hazardous ride through the forest. they climbed steep and slippery side paths, crawled over swamp and marsh, and pushed through windfall and bramble. just as daylight was waning, the robber boy guided them across a forest meadow, skirted by tall, naked leaf trees and green fir trees. back of the meadow loomed a mountain wall, and in this wall they saw a door of thick boards. now abbot hans understood that they had arrived, and dismounted. the child opened the heavy door for him, and he looked into a poor mountain grotto, with bare stone walls. robber mother was seated before a log fire that burned in the middle of the floor. alongside the walls were beds of virgin pine and moss, and on one of these beds lay robber father asleep. "come in, you out there!" shouted robber mother without rising, "and fetch the horses in with you, so they won't be destroyed by the night cold." abbot hans walked boldly into the cave, and the lay brother followed. here were wretchedness and poverty! and nothing was done to celebrate christmas. robber mother had neither brewed nor baked; she had neither washed nor scoured. the youngsters were lying on the floor around a kettle, eating; but no better food was provided for them than a watery gruel. robber mother spoke in a tone as haughty and dictatorial as any well-to-do peasant woman. "sit down by the fire and warm yourself, abbot hans," said she; "and if you have food with you, eat, for the food which we in the forest prepare you wouldn't care to taste. and if you are tired after the long journey, you can lie down on one of these beds to sleep. you needn't be afraid of oversleeping, for i'm sitting here by the fire keeping watch. i shall awaken you in time to see that which you have come up here to see." abbot hans obeyed robber mother and brought forth his food sack; but he was so fatigued after the journey he was hardly able to eat, and as soon as he could stretch himself on the bed, he fell asleep. the lay brother was also assigned a bed to rest upon, but he didn't dare sleep, as he thought he had better keep his eye on robber father to prevent his getting up and capturing abbot hans. but gradually fatigue got the better of him, too, and he dropped into a doze. when he woke up, he saw that abbot hans had left his bed and was sitting by the fire talking with robber mother. the outlawed robber sat also by the fire. he was a tall, raw-boned man with a dull, sluggish appearance. his back was turned to abbot hans, as though he would have it appear that he was not listening to the conversation. abbot hans was telling robber mother all about the christmas preparations he had seen on the journey, reminding her of christmas feasts and games which she must have known in her youth, when she lived at peace with mankind. "i'm sorry for your children, who can never run on the village street in holiday dress or tumble in the christmas straw," said he. at first robber mother answered in short, gruff sentences, but by degrees she became more subdued and listened more intently. suddenly robber father turned toward abbot hans and shook his clenched fist in his face. "you miserable monk! did you come here to coax from me my wife and children? don't you know that i am an outlaw and may not leave the forest?" abbot hans looked him fearlessly in the eyes. "it is my purpose to get a letter of ransom for you from archbishop absalon," said he. he had hardly finished speaking when the robber and his wife burst out laughing. they knew well enough the kind of mercy a forest robber could expect from bishop absalon! "oh, if i get a letter of ransom from absalon," said robber father, "then i'll promise you that never again will i steal so much as a goose." the lay brother was annoyed with the robber folk for daring to laugh at abbot hans, but on his own account he was well pleased. he had seldom seen the abbot sitting more peaceful and meek with his monks at övid than he now sat with this wild robber folk. suddenly robber mother rose. "you sit here and talk, abbot hans," she said, "so that we are forgetting to look at the forest. now i can hear, even in this cave, how the christmas bells are ringing." the words were barely uttered when they all sprang up and rushed out. but in the forest it was still dark night and bleak winter. the only thing they marked was a distant clang borne on a light south wind. "how can this bell ringing ever awaken the dead forest?" thought abbot hans. for now, as he stood out in the winter darkness, he thought it far more impossible that a summer garden could spring up here than it had seemed to him before. when the bells had been ringing a few moments, a sudden illumination penetrated the forest; the next moment it was dark again, and then the light came back. it pushed its way forward between the stark trees, like a shimmering mist. this much it effected: the darkness merged into a faint daybreak. then abbot hans saw that the snow had vanished from the ground, as if some one had removed a carpet, and the earth began to take on a green covering. then the ferns shot up their fronds, rolled like a bishop's staff. the heather that grew on the stony hills and the bog-myrtle rooted in the ground moss dressed themselves quickly in new bloom. the moss-tufts thickened and raised themselves, and the spring blossoms shot upward their swelling buds, which already had a touch of color. abbot hans' heart beat fast as he marked the first signs of the forest's awakening. "old man that i am, shall i behold such a miracle?" thought he, and the tears wanted to spring to his eyes. again it grew so hazy that he feared the darkness would once more cover the earth; but almost immediately there came a new wave of light. it brought with it the splash of rivulet and the rush of cataract. then the leaves of the trees burst into bloom, as if a swarm of green butterflies came flying and clustered on the branches. it was not only trees and plants that awoke, but crossbeaks hopped from branch to branch, and the woodpeckers hammered on the limbs until the splinters fairly flew around them. a flock of starlings from up country lighted in a fir top to rest. they were paradise starlings. the tips of each tiny feather shone in brilliant reds, and, as the birds moved, they glittered like so many jewels. again, all was dark for an instant, but soon there came a new light wave. a fresh, warm south wind blew and scattered over the forest meadow all the little seeds that had been brought here from southern lands by birds and ships and winds, and which could not thrive elsewhere because of this country's cruel cold. these took root and sprang up the instant they touched the ground. when the next warm wind came along, the blueberries and lignon ripened. cranes and wild geese shrieked in the air, the bullfinches built nests, and the baby squirrels began playing on the branches of the trees. everything came so fast now that abbot hans could not stop to reflect on how immeasurably great was the miracle that was taking place. he had time only to use his eyes and ears. the next light wave that came rushing in brought with it the scent of newly ploughed acres, and far off in the distance the milkmaids were heard coaxing the cows--and the tinkle of the sheep's bells. pine and spruce trees were so thickly clothed with red cones that they shone like crimson mantles. the juniper berries changed color every second, and forest flowers covered the ground till it was all red, blue, and yellow. abbot hans bent down to the earth and broke off a wild strawberry blossom, and, as he straightened up, the berry ripened in his hand. the mother fox came out of her lair with a big litter of black-legged young. she went up to robber mother and scratched at her skirt, and robber mother bent down to her and praised her young. the horned owl, who had just begun his night chase, was astonished at the light and went back to his ravine to perch for the night. the male cuckoo crowed, and his mate stole up to the nests of the little birds with her egg in her mouth. robber mother's youngsters let out perfect shrieks of delight. they stuffed themselves with wild strawberries that hung on the bushes, large as pine cones. one of them played with a litter of young hares; another ran a race with some young crows, which had hopped from their nest before they were really ready; a third caught up an adder from the ground and wound it around his neck and arm. robber father was standing out on a marsh eating raspberries. when he glanced up, a big black bear stood beside him. robber father broke off an osier twig and struck the bear on the nose. "keep to your own ground, you!" he said; "this is my turf." then the huge bear turned around and lumbered off in another direction. new waves of warmth and light kept coming, and now they brought with them seeds from the star-flower. golden pollen from rye fields fairly flew in the air. then came butterflies, so big that they looked like flying lilies. the bee-hive in a hollow oak was already so full of honey that it dripped down on the trunk of the tree. then all the flowers whose seeds had been brought from foreign lands began to blossom. the loveliest roses climbed up the mountain wall in a race with the blackberry vines, and from the forest meadow sprang flowers as large as human faces. abbot hans thought of the flower he was to pluck for bishop absalon; but each new flower that appeared was more beautiful than the others, and he wanted to choose the most beautiful of all. wave upon wave kept coming until the air was so filled with light that it glittered. all the life and beauty and joy of summer smiled on abbot hans. he felt that earth could bring no greater happiness than that which welled up about him, and he said to himself, "i do not know what new beauties the next wave that comes can bring with it." but the light kept streaming in, and now it seemed to abbot hans that it carried with it something from an infinite distance. he felt a celestial atmosphere enfolding him, and tremblingly he began to anticipate, now that earth's joys had come, the glories of heaven were approaching. then abbot hans marked how all grew still; the birds hushed their songs, the flowers ceased growing, and the young foxes played no more. the glory now nearing was such that the heart wanted to stop beating; the eyes wept without one's knowing it; the soul longed to soar away into the eternal. from far in the distance faint harp tones were heard, and celestial song, like a soft murmur, reached him. abbot hans clasped his hands and dropped to his knees. his face was radiant with bliss. never had he dreamed that even in this life it should be granted him to taste the joys of heaven, and to hear angels sing christmas carols! but beside abbot hans stood the lay brother who had accompanied him. in his mind there were dark thoughts. "this cannot be a true miracle," he thought, "since it is revealed to malefactors. this does not come from god, but has its origin in witchcraft and is sent hither by satan. it is the evil one's power that is tempting us and compelling us to see that which has no real existence." from afar were heard the sound of angel harps and the tones of a miserere. but the lay brother thought it was the evil spirits of hell coming closer. "they would enchant and seduce us," sighed he, "and we shall be sold into perdition." the angel throng was so near now that abbot hans saw their bright forms through the forest branches. the lay brother saw them, too; but back of all this wondrous beauty he saw only some dread evil. for him it was the devil who performed these wonders on the anniversary of our saviour's birth. it was done simply for the purpose of more effectually deluding poor human beings. all the while the birds had been circling around the head of abbot hans, and they let him take them in his hands. but all the animals were afraid of the lay brother; no bird perched on his shoulder, no snake played at his feet. then there came a little forest dove. when she marked that the angels were nearing, she plucked up courage and flew down on the lay brother's shoulder and laid her head against his cheek. then it appeared to him as if sorcery were come right upon him, to tempt and corrupt him. he struck with his hand at the forest dove and cried in such a loud voice that it rang throughout the forest, "go thou back to hell, whence thou art come!" just then the angels were so near that abbot hans felt the feathery touch of their great wings, and he bowed down to earth in reverent greeting. but when the lay brother's words sounded, their song was hushed and the holy guests turned in flight. at the same time the light and the mild warmth vanished in unspeakable terror for the darkness and cold in a human heart. darkness sank over the earth, like a coverlet; frost came, all the growths shrivelled up; the animals and birds hastened away; the rushing of streams was hushed; the leaves dropped from the trees, rustling like rain. abbot hans felt how his heart, which had but lately swelled with bliss, was now contracting with insufferable agony. "i can never outlive this," thought he, "that the angels from heaven had been so close to me and were driven away; that they wanted to sing christmas carols for me and were driven to flight." then he remembered the flower he had promised bishop absalon, and at the last moment he fumbled among the leaves and moss to try and find a blossom. but he sensed how the ground under his fingers froze and how the white snow came gliding over the ground. then his heart caused him even greater anguish. he could not rise, but fell prostrate on the ground and lay there. when the robber folk and the lay brother had groped their way back to the cave, they missed abbot hans. they took brands with them and went out to search for him. they found him dead upon the coverlet of snow. then the lay brother began weeping and lamenting, for he understood that it was he who had killed abbot hans because he had dashed from him the cup of happiness which he had been thirsting to drain to its last drop. * * * * * when abbot hans had been carried down to övid, those who took charge of the dead saw that he held his right hand locked tight around something which he must have grasped at the moment of death. when they finally got his hand open, they found that the thing which he had held in such an iron grip was a pair of white root bulbs, which he had torn from among the moss and leaves. when the lay brother who had accompanied abbot hans saw the bulbs, he took them and planted them in abbot hans' herb garden. he guarded them the whole year to see if any flower would spring from them. but in vain he waited through the spring, the summer, and the autumn. finally, when winter had set in and all the leaves and the flowers were dead, he ceased caring for them. but when christmas eve came again, he was so strongly reminded of abbot hans that he wandered out into the garden to think of him. and look! as he came to the spot where he had planted the bare root bulbs, he saw that from them had sprung flourishing green stalks, which bore beautiful flowers with silver white leaves. he called out all the monks at övid, and when they saw that this plant bloomed on christmas eve, when all the other growths were as if dead, they understood that this flower had in truth been plucked by abbot hans from the christmas garden in göinge forest. then the lay brother asked the monks if he might take a few blossoms to bishop absalon. and when he appeared before bishop absalon, he gave him the flowers and said: "abbot hans sends you these. they are the flowers he promised to pick for you from the garden in göinge forest." when bishop absalon beheld the flowers, which had sprung from the earth in darkest winter, and heard the words, he turned as pale as if he had met a ghost. he sat in silence a moment; thereupon he said, "abbot hans has faithfully kept his word and i shall also keep mine." and he ordered that a letter of ransom be drawn up for the wild robber who was outlawed and had been forced to live in the forest ever since his youth. he handed the letter to the lay brother, who departed at once for the robbers' cave. when he stepped in there on christmas day, the robber came toward him with axe uplifted. "i'd like to hack you monks into bits, as many as you are!" said he. "it must be your fault that göinge forest did not last night dress itself in christmas bloom." "the fault is mine alone," said the lay brother, "and i will gladly die for it; but first i must deliver a message from abbot hans." and he drew forth the bishop's letter and told the man that he was free. "hereafter you and your children shall play in the christmas straw and celebrate your christmas among people, just as abbot hans wished to have it," said he. then robber father stood there pale and speechless, but robber mother said in his name, "abbot hans has indeed kept his word, and robber father will keep his." when the robber and his wife left the cave, the lay brother moved in and lived all alone in the forest, in constant meditation and prayer that his hard-heartedness might be forgiven him. but göinge forest never again celebrated the hour of our saviour's birth; and of all its glory, there lives to-day only the plant which abbot hans had plucked. it has been named christmas rose. and each year at christmastide she sends forth from the earth her green stalks and white blossoms, as if she never could forget that she had once grown in the great christmas garden at göinge forest. a story from jerusalem in the old and time-honored mosque, el aksa, in jerusalem, there is a long, winding path leading from the main entrance up to a very deep and wide window-niche. in this niche a very old and much worn rug is spread; and upon this rug, day in and day out, sits old mesullam, who is a fortune-teller and dream-interpreter, and who for a paltry penny serves the visitors to the mosque by prying into their future destinies. it happened one afternoon, several years ago, that mesullam, who sat as usual in his window, was so ill-natured that he wouldn't even return the greetings of the passers-by. no one thought, however, of feeling offended at his rudeness, because every one knew that he was grieving over a humiliation which had been put upon him that day. at that time a mighty monarch from the occident was visiting jerusalem, and in the forenoon the distinguished stranger with his retinue had wandered through el aksa. before his arrival the superintendent of the mosque had commanded the servants to scour and dust all the nooks and corners of the old building, at the same time giving orders that mesullam should move out of his accustomed place. he had found that it would be simply impossible to let him remain there during the visit of the distinguished guest. it was not only that his rug was very ragged, or that he had piled up around him a lot of dirty sacks in which he kept his belongings, but mesullam himself was anything but an ornament to the mosque! he was, in reality, an inconceivably ugly old negro. his lips were enormous, his chin protruded aggressively, his brow was exceedingly low, and his nose was almost like a snout; and in addition to these, mesullam had a coarse and wrinkled skin and a clumsy, thick-set body, which was carelessly draped in a dirty white shawl. so one can't wonder that he was forbidden to show himself in the mosque while the honored guest was there! poor mesullam, who knew well enough that, despite his ugliness, he was a very wise man, experienced a bitter disappointment in that _he_ was not to see the royal traveller. he had hoped that he might give him some proofs of the great accomplishments which he possessed in occult things and in this way add to his own glory and renown. since this hope had miscarried, he sat hour after hour in a queer position, and mourned, with his long arms stretched upward and his head thrown far back, as though he were calling upon heaven for justice. when it drew on toward evening, mesullam was wakened from his state of all-absorbing grief by a cheery voice calling him. it was a syrian who, accompanied by another traveller, had come up to the soothsayer. he told him that the stranger whom he was conducting wished for a proof of oriental wisdom, and that he had spoken to him of mesullam's ability to interpret dreams. mesullam answered not a word to this, but maintained his former attitude rigidly. when the guide asked him again if he would not listen to the dreams the stranger wished to relate to him and interpret them, his arms dropped and he crossed them on his breast. assuming the attitude of a wronged man, he answered that this evening his soul was so filled with his own troubles that he couldn't judge anything clearly which concerned another. but the stranger, who had a buoyant and commanding personality, didn't seem to mind his objections. as there was no chair handy, he kicked aside the rug and seated himself in the window-niche. then he began, in a clear and vibrant voice, to narrate a few dreams, which later were translated for the soothsayer by the guide. "tell him," said the traveller, "that a few years ago i was at cairo, in egypt. since he is a learned man, naturally he knows there is a mosque there, called el azhar, which is the most celebrated institution of learning in the orient. i went there one day to visit it, and found that the whole colossal structure--all its rooms and arcades, all its entrances and halls were filled with students. there were old men who had devoted their entire lives to the quest for knowledge, and children who were just learning to form their letters. there were giantesque negroes from the heart of africa; lithe, handsome youths from india and arabia; far-travelled strangers from barbary, from georgia, from every land where the natives embrace the doctrines of the koran. close to the pillars--i was told that in el azhar there were as many teachers as there were pillars--the instructors were squatted on their rugs, while their students, who were arranged in a circle around them, eagerly followed their lectures, which were accompanied by swaying movements of their bodies. and tell him that, although el azhar is in no way comparable to the great occidental seats of learning, i was nevertheless astonished at what i saw there. i remarked to myself: 'ah, this is islam's great stronghold and defence! from here mohammed's young champions go out. here, at el azhar, the potions of wisdom that keep the koran's doctrines healthy and vigorous are blended.'" all of this the traveller said almost in one breath. now he made a pause, so that the guide would have an opportunity to interpret for the soothsayer. then he continued: "now tell him that el azhar made such a powerful impression upon me that on the following night i saw it again in a dream. i saw the white marble structure and the many students dressed in white mantles and white turbans--as is the custom at el azhar. i wandered through halls and courts and was again astonished at what a splendid fortress and wall of protection this was for mohammedanism. finally--in the dream--i came to the minaret upon which the prayer-crier stands to inform the faithful that the hour of prayer has struck. and i saw the stairway which winds up to the minaret, and i saw a prayer-crier walking up the steps. he wore a black mantle and a white turban, like the others, and as he went up the stairs i could not at first see his face, but when he had made a few turns on the spiral stairway, he happened to turn his face toward me, and then i saw that it was _christ_." the speaker made a short pause, and his chest was expanded for a deep inhalation. "i shall never forget, although it was only a dream," he exclaimed, "what an impression it made upon me to see christ walking up the steps to the minaret in el azhar! to me it seemed so glorious and significant that he had come to this stronghold of islam to call out the hours of prayer that i leaped up in the dream and awaked." here the traveller made another pause to let the guide interpret for the soothsayer. but this appeared to be well-nigh useless labor. mesullam sat all the while, with his hands on his sides, rocking back and forth, and with his eyes half closed. he seemed to want to say: "inasmuch as i cannot escape these importunate people, at least i will let them see that i don't care to listen to what they have to say. i'll try and rock myself to sleep. it will be the best way to show them how little i care about them." the guide intimated to the traveller that all their trouble would be in vain and they wouldn't hear a sensible word from mesullam while he was in this mood. but the european stranger seemed to be entranced by mesullam's indescribable ugliness and extraordinary behavior. he looked at him with the pleasure of a child when it is watching a wild animal in a menagerie, and he desired to continue the interview. "tell him that i wouldn't have troubled him to interpret this dream," he said, "had it not, in a certain sense, come to me again. let him know that two weeks ago i visited the sophia mosque at constantinople, and that i, after wandering through this magnificent building, stepped up on a minaret in order to get a better view of the auditorium. tell him, also, that they allowed me to come into the mosque during a service, when it was filled with people. upon each of the innumerable prayer rugs which covered the whole floor of the main hall, a man was standing and saying his prayers. all who took part in the service simultaneously made the same movements. all fell upon their knees and threw themselves on their faces and raised themselves, at the same time whispering their prayers very low; but from the almost imperceptible movements of so many lips came a mysterious murmur, which rose toward the high arches and died away, time and again. then there came melodious responses from remote passages and galleries. it was so strange altogether that one wondered if it was not the spirit of god that poured into the old sanctuary." the traveller made another pause. he observed mesullam carefully, while the guide interpreted his speech. it actually appeared as if he had tried to win the negro's approbation with his eloquence. and it seemed, too, as though he would succeed, for mesullam's half-closed eyes flashed once, like a coal that is beginning to take fire. but the soothsayer, stubborn as a child that will not let itself be amused, dropped his head on his breast and began an even more impatient rocking of his body. "tell him," resumed the stranger, "tell him that i have never seen people pray with such fervor! to me it seemed as if it was the sublime beauty of this marvellous structure which created this atmosphere of ecstasy. verily this is still an islam bulwark! this is the home of devoutness! from this great mosque emanate the faith and enthusiasm which make islam a mighty power." here he paused again, noting carefully mesullam's play of features during its interpretation. not a trace of interest was discernible in them. but the stranger was evidently a man who liked to hear himself talk. his own words intoxicated him; he would have become ill-natured had he not been allowed to proceed. "well," said he, when it was his turn again to speak, "i cannot rightly explain what happened to me. possibly the faint odor from the hundreds of oil lamps, together with the low murmurings of the devotees, lulled me into a kind of stupefaction. i could not help but close my eyes as i stood leaning against a pillar. soon sleep, or rather insensibility, overcame me. probably it did not last more than a minute, but during this interval i was entirely removed from reality. while in this trance i could see the whole sophia mosque before me, with all the praying people; but now i saw what i had not hitherto observed. up in the dome were scaffoldings, and on these stood a number of workmen with paint pots and brushes. "tell him, if he does not already know it," continued the narrator, "that sophia mosque was once a christian church, and that its arches and dome are covered with sacred christian mosaics, although the turks have painted out all these pictures with plain yellow paint. and it appeared to me as if the yellow paint in the dome had peeled off in a couple of places and that the painters had clambered up on the scaffolding to touch up the picture. but, look! when one of them raised his brush to fill in the color, another large piece scaled off, and suddenly one saw from behind it a beautiful painting of the _christ_ emerge. again the painter raised his arm to paint out the picture, but the arm, which appeared to be numb and powerless, dropped down before this beautiful face; at the same time the paint dropped from the entire dome and arch, and christ was visible there in all his glory, among angels and heavenly hosts. then the painter cried out, and all the worshippers down on the floor of the mosque raised their heads. and when they saw the heavenly hosts surrounding the saviour, they sent up a cry of joy, and when i witnessed this joy, i was seized with such strong emotion that i waked instantly. then everything was like itself. the mosaics were hidden under the yellow paint and the devotees continued all the while to invoke allah." when the interpreter had translated this, mesullam opened one eye and regarded the stranger. he saw a man who he thought resembled all other occidentals that wandered through the mosque. "i don't believe the pale-faced stranger has seen any visions," thought he. "he has not the dark eyes that can see what is behind the veil of mystery. i think, rather, that he came here to make sport of me. i must beware lest on this accursed day i be overtaken by another humiliation." the stranger spoke anon: "you know, o dream interpreter!" turning now direct to mesullam, as if he thought that he could understand him, despite his foreign tongue--"you know that a distinguished foreigner is visiting jerusalem at present, and on his account they have talked of opening the walled-up gate in jerusalem's ring-wall--the one they call 'the golden' and which is believed to be the gate through which jesus rode into jerusalem on palm sunday. they have actually been thinking of doing the distinguished traveller the honor of letting him ride into the city through a gate which has been walled up for centuries; but they were held back by an old prophecy which foretells that when this gate is opened the occidentals will march in through it to take possession of jerusalem. "and now you shall hear what happened to me last night. the weather was superb; it was glorious moonlight, and i had gone out alone to take a quiet promenade around the holy city. i walked outside the ring-wall on the narrow path that extends all round the wall, and my thoughts were borne so far back into distant ages that i scarcely remembered where i was. all of a sudden i began to feel tired. i wondered if i should not soon come to a gate in the wall, through which i might get into the city and thus return to my quarters by a shorter road. well, just as i was thinking of this, i saw a man open a large gate in the wall directly in front of me. he opened it wide and beckoned to me that i might pass in through it. i was absorbed in my dreams and hardly knew how far i had been walking. i was somewhat surprised that there was a gate here, but i thought no more about the matter and walked through it. as soon as i had passed through the deep archway, the gate closed with a sharp clang. when i turned round, there was no opening visible, only a walled-up gate--the one called the golden. before me lay the temple place, the broad haram plateau, in the centre of which omar's mosque is enthroned. and you know that no gate in the ring-wall leads thither but the golden, which is not only closed but walled up. "you can understand that i thought i'd gone mad; that i dreamed i had tried in vain to find some explanation of this. i looked around for the man who had let me in. he had vanished and i could not find him. but, on the other hand, i saw him all the plainer in memory--the tall and slightly bent figure, the beautiful locks, the mild visage, the parted beard. it was _christ_, soothsayer, _christ_ once again. "tell me now, you who can look into the hidden, what mean my dreams? what, more than all, can be the meaning of my having really and truly passed through the golden gate? even at this moment i do not know how it happened, but i have done so. tell me, now, what these three things can mean!" the interpreter translated this for mesullam, but the soothsayer was all the while in the same suspicious and crabbed mood. "i am certain that this stranger wants to poke fun at me," he thought. "perchance he would provoke me to anger with all this talk about christ?" he would have concluded not to answer at all; but when the interpreter insisted, he muttered a few words. "what does he say?" asked the traveller eagerly. "he says he has nothing to say to you but that dreams are dreams." "then tell him from me," retorted the stranger, somewhat exasperated, "that this is not always true. it depends entirely upon who dreams them." before these words had been interpreted to mesullam, the european had arisen and with quick and elastic step had walked toward the long passage-way. but mesullam sat still and mused over his answer for five minutes. then he fell upon his face, utterly undone. "allah, allah! twice on the same day fortune has passed by me without my having captured her. what hath thy servant done to displease thee?" why the pope lived to be so old it happened at rome in the early nineties. leo xiii was just then at the height of his fame and greatness. all true catholics rejoiced at his successes and triumphs, which in truth were sublime. and, even for those who could not grasp the great political events, it was plain that the power of the church was again coming to the front. any one at all could see that new cloisters were going up everywhere and that throngs of pilgrims were beginning to pour into italy, as in olden times. in many, many places one saw the old, dilapidated churches in process of restoration, damaged mosaics being put in order, and the treasure-vaults of the churches being filled with golden relic-boxes and jewelled exhibits. right in the midst of this progressive period the roman people were alarmed by the news that the pope had been taken ill. he was said to be in a very precarious condition; it was even rumored that he was dying. his condition was, too, in a great degree serious. the pope's physicians issued bulletins which inspired but little hope. it was maintained that the pope's great age--he was then eighty years old--made it seem almost incredible that he could survive this attack. naturally, the pope's illness caused great unrest. in all the churches in rome prayers were said for his recovery. the newspapers were filled with communications regarding the progress of the illness. the cardinals were beginning to take steps and measures for the new papal election. everywhere they bemoaned the approaching demise of the brilliant leader. they feared that the good fortune which had followed the church's standard under leo xiii might not be faithful to it under the leadership of his successor. there were many who had hoped that this pope would succeed in winning back rome and the ecclesiastical states. others, again, had dreamed that he would bring back into the bosom of the church some of the large protestant countries. for each second that was passing, fear and anxiety grew apace. as night came on, in many homes the inmates would not retire. the churches were kept open until long past midnight, that the anxious ones might have an opportunity to go in and pray. among these throngs of devotees there was certainly more than one poor soul who cried out: "dear lord, take my life instead of his! let him, who has done so much for thy glory, live, and extinguish instead my life-flame, which burns to no one's use!" but if the angel of death had taken one of these devotees at his word and had suddenly stepped up to him, with sword raised, to exact the fulfilment of his promise, one might wonder somewhat as to how he would have behaved. no doubt he would have recalled instantly such a rash proffer and begged for the grace of being allowed to live out all the years of his allotted time. at this time there lived an old woman in one of the dingy ramshackle houses along the tiber. she was one of those who have the kind of spirit that thanks god every day for life. every morning she used to sit at the market-place and sell garden truck. and this was an occupation that was very congenial to her. she thought nothing could be livelier than a market of a morning. all tongues were wagging--all were harking their commodities, and buyers crowded in front of the stalls, selected and bargained, and many a good sally passed between buyer and seller. sometimes the old woman was successful in making a good deal and in selling out her entire stock; but even if she couldn't sell so much as a radish, she loved to be standing amongst flowers and green things in the fresh morning air. in the evening she had another and an even greater pleasure. then her son came home and visited with her. he was a priest, but he had been assigned to a little church in one of the humble quarters. the poor priests who served there had not much to live upon, and the mother feared that her son was starving. but from this, also, she derived much pleasure, for it gave her the opportunity of stuffing him full of delicacies when he came to see her. he struggled against it, as he was destined for a life of self-denial and strict discipline, but his mother became so distressed when he said no that he always had to give in. while he was eating she trotted around in the room and chattered about all that she had seen in the morning during market hours. these were all very worldly matters, and it would occur to her sometimes that her son might be offended. then she would break off in the middle of a sentence and begin to talk of spiritual and solemn things, but the priest couldn't help laughing. "no, no, mother concenza!" he said, "continue in your usual way. the saints know you already, and they know what you are up to." then she, too, laughed and said: "you are quite right. it doesn't pay to pretend before the good lord." when the pope was taken ill, signora concenza must also have a share in the general grief. of her own accord it certainly never would have occurred to her to feel troubled about his passing. but when her son came home to her, she could neither persuade him to taste of a morsel of food nor to give her a smile, although she was simply bubbling over with stories and interpolations. naturally she became alarmed and asked what was wrong with him. "the holy father is ill," answered the son. at first she could scarcely believe that this was the cause of his downheartedness. of course it was a sorrow; but she knew, to be sure, that if a pope died, immediately there would come another. she reminded her son of the fact that they had also mourned the good pio nono. and, you see, the one who succeeded him was a still greater pope. surely the cardinals would choose for them a ruler who was just as holy and wise as this one. the priest then began telling her about the pope. he didn't bother to initiate her into his system of government, but he told her little stories of his childhood and young manhood. and from the days of his prelacy there were also things to relate--as, for instance, how he had at one time hunted down robbers in southern italy, how he had made himself beloved by the poor and needy during the years when he was a bishop in perugia. her eyes filled with tears, and she cried out: "ah, if he were not so old! if he might only be allowed to live many more years, since he is such a great and holy man!" "ah, if only he were not so old!" sighed the son. but signora concenza had already brushed the tears from her eyes. "you really must bear this calmly," said she. "remember that his years of life are simply run out. it is impossible to prevent death from seizing him." the priest was a dreamer. he loved the church and had dreamed that the great pope would lead her on to important and decisive victories. "i would give my life if i could purchase new life for him!" said he. "what are you saying?" cried his mother. "do you really love him so much? but, in any case, you must not express such dangerous wishes. instead, you should think of living a good long time. who knows what may happen? why couldn't you, in your turn, become pope?" a night and a day passed without any improvement in the pope's condition. when signora concenza met her son the following day, he looked completely undone. she understood that he had passed the whole day in prayer and fasting, and she began to feel deeply grieved. "i verily believe that you mean to kill yourself for the sake of that sick old man!" said she. the son was hurt by again finding her without sympathy, and tried to persuade her to sympathize a little with his grief. "you, truly, more than any one else, ought to wish that the pope might live," he said. "if he may continue to rule, he will name my parish priest for bishop before the year shall have passed and, in that event, my fortune is made. he will then give me a good place in a cathedral. you shall not see me going about any more in a worn-out cassock. i shall have plenty of money, and i shall be able to help you and all your poor neighbors." "but if the pope dies?" asked signora concenza breathlessly. "if the pope dies, then no one can know--if my parish priest doesn't happen to be in favor with his successor, we must both remain where we now are for many years to come." signora concenza came close to her son and regarded him anxiously. she looked at his brow, which was covered with wrinkles, and at his hair that was just turning gray. he looked tired and worn. it was actually imperative that he should have that place at the cathedral right away. "to-night i shall go to church and pray for the pope," thought she. "it won't do for him to die." after supper she bravely conquered her fatigue and went out on the streets. great crowds of people thronged there. many were only curious and had gone out because they wished to catch the news of the death at first hand; but many were really distressed and wandered from church to church to pray. as soon as signora concenza had come out on the street, she met one of her daughters, who was married to a lithographer. "oh, mother, but you do right to come out and pray for him!" exclaimed the daughter. "you can't imagine what a misfortune it would be if he were to die! my fabiano was ready to take his own life when he learned that the pope was ill." she related how her husband, the lithographer, had but just struck off hundreds of thousands of the pope's pictures. now, if the pope were to die, he wouldn't be able to sell half of them--no, not even a quarter of them. he would be ruined. their entire fortune was at stake. she rushed on to gather some fresh news, wherewith she might comfort her poor husband, who did not dare venture out, but sat at home and brooded over his misfortune. her mother stood still on the street, mumbling to herself: "it won't do for him to die. it will never do for him to die!" she walked into the first church she came to. there she fell upon her knees and prayed for the life of the pope. as she arose to leave, she happened to lift her eyes to a little votive tablet which hung on the wall just above her head. the tablet was a representation of death raising a terrifying two-edged sword to mow down a young girl, while her mother, who had cast herself in his path, tries in vain to receive the blow in place of her child. she stood long before the picture, musing. "signor death is a careful arithmetician," she remarked. "one has never heard of his agreeing to exchange an old person for a young one." she remembered her son's words that he would be willing to die in the pope's stead, and a shudder passed through her whole body. "think, if death were to take him at his word!" "no, no, signor death!" she whispered. "you mustn't believe him. you must understand that he didn't mean what he said. he wants to live. he doesn't want to leave his old mother, who loves him." for the first time the thought struck her that if any one should sacrifice himself for the pope, it were better that she did it--she, who was already old and had lived her life. when she left the church, she happened into the company of some nuns of the saintliest and most devout appearance, who lived in the northern part of the country. they had travelled down to rome to obtain a little help from the pope's treasury. "we are actually in the most dire need of aid," they told old concenza. "only think! our convent was so old and dilapidated that it blew down during the severe storm of last winter. we may not now present our case to him. if he should die, we must return home with an unaccomplished mission. who can know if his successor will be the sort of man who will trouble himself to succor poor nuns?" it seemed as if all the people were thinking the same thoughts. it was very easy to get into converse with any one. each and all whom signora concenza approached let her know that the pope's death would be for them a terrible misfortune. the old woman repeated again and again to herself: "my son is right. it will never do for the pope to die." a nurse was standing among a group of people, talking in a loud voice. she was so affected that the tears streamed down her cheeks. she related how five years ago she had been ordered away, to serve at a leper hospital on an island at the other end of the globe. naturally, she had to obey orders; but she did so against her wishes. she had felt a horrible dread of this mission. before she left rome, she was received by the pope, who had given her a special blessing and had also promised her that if she came back alive she should have another audience with him. and it was upon this that she had lived during the five years she had been away--only on the hope that she might see the holy father once more in this life! this had helped her to go through all the horrors. and now, when she had got home at last, she was met by the news that he lay upon his death-bed! she could not even see him! she was in extreme despair, and old concenza was deeply moved. "it would really be much too great a sorrow for every one if the pope were to die," thought she, as she wandered farther up the street. when she observed that many of the passers-by looked perfectly exhausted from weeping, she thought with a sense of relief: "what a joy it would be to see everybody's happiness if the pope should recover!" and she, like many others who have a buoyant disposition, was apparently no more afraid of dying than of living; so she said to herself: "if i only knew how it could be done, i would gladly give the holy father the years that are left to me of life." she said this somewhat in jest, but back of the words there was also seriousness. she truly wished that she might realize something in that way. "an old woman could not wish for a more beautiful death," thought she. "i would be helping both my son and my daughter, and, besides, i should make great masses of people happy." just as this thought stirred within her, she raised the patched curtain which hung before the entrance of a gloomy little church. it was one of the very old churches--one of those which appear to be gradually sinking into the earth because the city's foundation has, in the intervening years, raised itself several metres all around them. this church in its interior had preserved somewhat of its ancient gloom, which must have come down through the dark ages during which it had sprung into existence. involuntarily a shudder passed through one as one stepped in under its low arches, which rested upon uncommonly thick pillars, and saw the crudely painted saints' pictures that glimpsed down at one from walls and altars. when signora concenza came into this old church, which was thronged with worshippers, she was seized with a mysterious awe and reverence. she felt that in this sanctuary there verily lived a deity. beneath the massive arches hovered something infinitely mighty and mysterious, something which inspired such a sense of annihilating superiority that she felt nervous about remaining in there. "ah, this is no church where one goes to hear a mass or to confessional," remarked signora concenza to herself. "here one comes when one is in great trouble, when one can be helped in no other way than through a miracle." she lingered down by the door and breathed in this strange air of mystery and gloom. "i don't even know to whom this old church is dedicated; but i feel that here there must be some one who is able to grant us that which we pray for." she sank down among the kneeling people, who were so many that they covered the floor from the altar to the door. all the while that she herself was praying, she heard around her sighs and sobs. all this grief went to her heart and filled it with greater and greater compassion. "oh, my god, let me do something to save the old man!" she prayed. "in the first place, i ought to help my children, and then all the other people." every once in a while a thin little monk stole in among the praying and whispered something in their ears. the one to whom he was speaking instantly stood up and followed him into the sacristy. signora concenza soon apprehended what there was in question. "they are of the kind who give pledges for the pope's recovery," thought she. the next time the little monk made his rounds, she rose up and went with him. it was a perfectly involuntary action. she fancied that she was being impelled to do this by the power which ruled in the old church. as soon as she came into the sacristy, which was even more archaic and more mystical than the church itself, she regretted it. "what have i to do in here?" she asked herself. "what have i to give away? i own nothing but a couple of cartloads of garden truck. i certainly can't present the saints with a few baskets of artichokes!" at one side of the room there was a long table at which a priest stood recording in a register all that was pledged to the saints. concenza heard how one promised to present the old church with a sum of money, while a second promised to give his gold watch, and a third her pearl earrings. concenza stood all the while down by the door. her last poor copper had been spent to procure a few delicacies for her son. she saw a number of persons who appeared to be no richer than herself buying wax candles and silver hearts. she turned her skirt pocket inside out, but she could not afford even that much. she stood and waited so long that finally she was the only stranger in the sacristy. the priests walking about in there looked at her a little astonished. then she took a step or two forward. she seemed at the start uncertain and embarrassed, but after the first move she walked lightly and briskly up to the table. "your reverence!" she said to the priest, "write that concenza zamponi, who was sixty last year, on saint john the baptist's day, gives all her remaining years to the pope, that the thread of his life may be lengthened!" the priest had already begun writing. he was probably very tired after having worked at this register the whole night, and thought no more about the sort of things he was recording. but now he stopped short in the middle of a word and looked quizzically at signora concenza. she met his glance very calmly. "i am strong and well, your reverence," said she. "i should probably have lived out my allotted seventy years. it is at least ten years that i am giving to the holy father." the priest marked her zeal and reverence and offered no objections. "she is a poor woman," thought he. "she has nothing else to give." "it is written, my daughter," he said. when old concenza came out from the church, it was so late that the commotion had ceased and the streets were absolutely deserted. she found herself in a remote part of the city, where the gas lamps were so far apart that they dispelled only a very little of the darkness. all the same, she walked on briskly. she felt very solemn within and was certain that she had done something which would make many people happy. as she walked up the street, she suddenly got the impression that a live being circled above her head. in the darkness, between the tall houses, she thought she could distinguish a pair of large wings, and she even fancied she heard the sound of their beating. "what is this?" said she. "surely it can't be a bird! it is much too big for that." all at once she thought she saw a face which was so white that it illuminated the darkness. then an unspeakable terror seized her. "it is the angel of death hovering over me," thought she. "ah, what have i done? i have placed myself in the dreaded one's power!" she started to run, but she could hear the rustle of the strong wings and was convinced that death was pursuing her. she fled with breathless haste through several streets, thinking all the while that death was coming nearer and nearer her. she already felt his wings brushing against her shoulder. suddenly she heard a whizzing in the air, and something heavy and sharp struck her head. death's two-edged sword had reached her. she sank to her knees. she knew that she must lose her life. a few hours later, old concenza was found on the street by two workmen. she lay there unconscious, stricken with apoplexy. the poor woman was immediately removed to a hospital, where they succeeded in bringing her to, but it was apparent that she could not live very long. there was time, at all events, to send for her children. when, in a state of despair, they reached her sick-bed, they found her very calm and happy. she couldn't speak many words to them, but she lay and caressed their hands. "you must be happy," said she, "happy, happy!" evidently she did not like their crying. she also bade the nurses smile and show their joy. "cheerful and happy," said she; "now you must be cheerful and happy!" she lay there with hunger in her eyes, waiting to see a little joy in their faces. she grew more and more impatient with her children's tears and with the solemn faces of the nurses. she began to utter things which no one could comprehend. she said that in case they were not glad she might just as well have lived. those who heard her thought she was raving. suddenly the doors opened, and a young physician came into the sick-room. he was waving a newspaper and calling in a loud voice: "the pope is better. he will live. a change has taken place in the night." the nurses silenced him, so that he shouldn't disturb the dying woman, but signora concenza had already heard him. she had also marked a spark of joy--a gleam of happiness which could not be concealed--pass through those who stood around her bed. there she lay looking about her, with something far-seeing in her gaze. it was as though she were looking out over rome, where the people were now thronging up and down the streets and greeting one another with the joyful news. she raised her head as high as she could and said: "so am i--i am very happy. god has allowed me to die that he may live. i don't mind dying when i have made so many people happy." she lay down again, and a few seconds later she was dead. * * * * * but they say in rome that, after his recovery, the holy father entertained himself one day by looking through the church records of pious pledges which had been offered for his recovery. smilingly he read the long lists of little gifts until he came to the record where concenza zamponi had presented him with her remaining years of life. instantly he became very serious and thoughtful. he made inquiries about concenza zamponi and learned that she had died on the night of his recovery. he then bade them call to him her son, dominico, and questioned him minutely as to her last moments. "my son," said the pope to him when he had spoken, "your mother has not saved my life, as she believed in her last hour; but i am deeply moved by her love and self-sacrifice." he let dominico kiss his hand, whereupon he dismissed him. but the romans assure you that, although the pope would not admit that his span of years had been lengthened by the poor woman's gift, he was nevertheless certain of it. "why else should father zamponi have had such a meteoric career?" asked the romans. "he is already a bishop and it is whispered that he will soon be a cardinal." and in rome they never feared after that that the pope would die, not even when he was mortally ill. they were prepared to have him live longer than other people. his life had of course been lengthened by all the years that poor concenza had given him. the story of a story once there was a story that wanted to be told and sent out in the world. this was very natural, inasmuch as it knew that it was already as good as finished. many, through remarkable deeds and strange events, had helped create it; others had added their straws in it by again and again relating these things. what it lacked was merely a matter of being joined together, so that it could travel comfortably through the country. as yet it was only a confused jumble of stories--a big, formless cloud of adventures rushing hither and thither like a swarm of stray bees on a summer's day, not knowing where they will find some one who can gather them into a hive. the story that wanted to be told had sprung up in vermland, and you may be sure that it circled over many mills and manors, over many parsonages and many homes of military officers, in the beautiful province, peering through the windows and begging to be cared for. but it was forced to make many futile attempts, for everywhere it was turned away. anything else was hardly to be expected. people had many things of much more importance to think of. finally the story came to an old place called mårbacka. it was a little homestead, with low buildings overshadowed by giant trees. at one time it had been a parsonage, and it was as if this had set a certain stamp upon the place which it could not lose. they seemed to have a greater love for books and reading there than elsewhere, and a certain air of restfulness and peace always pervaded it. there rushing with duties and bickering with servants were never met with, nor was hatred or dissension given house room, either. one who happened to be a guest there was not allowed to take life too seriously, but had to feel that his first duty was to be light-hearted and believe that for one and all who lived on this estate our lord managed everything for the best. as i think of the matter now, i apprehend that the story of which i am speaking must have lingered thereabouts a great many years during its vain longing to be told. it seems to me as though it must have enwrapped the place, as a mist shrouds a mountain summit, now and then letting one of the adventures of which it consisted rain down upon it. they came in the form of strange ghost stories about the superintendent of the foundries, who always had black bulls hitched to his wagon when he drove home at night from a revel. and in his home the evil one himself used to sit in the rocker and rock while the wife sat at the piano and played. they came as true stories from the neighboring homestead, where crows had persecuted the mistress until she didn't dare venture outside the door; from the captain's house, where they were so poor that everything had to be borrowed; from the little cottage down by the church, where there lived a lot of young and old girls who had all fallen in love with the handsome organ builder. sometimes the dear adventures came to the homestead in an even more tangible form. aged and poverty-stricken army officers would drive up to the doorstep behind rickety old horses and in rickety carryalls. they would stop and visit for weeks, and in the evenings, when the toddy had put courage into them, they would talk of the time when they had danced in stockingless shoes, so that their feet would look small, of how they had curled their hair and dyed their mustaches. one of them told how he had tried to take a pretty young girl back to her sweetheart and how he had been hunted by wolves on the way; another had been at the christmas feast where an angered guest had flung all the hazel-hens at the wall because some one had made him believe they were crows; a third had seen the old gentleman who used to sit at a plain board table and play beethoven. but the story could reveal its presence in still another way. in the attic hung the portrait of a lady with powdered hair, and when any one walked past it he was reminded that it was a portrait of the beautiful daughter of the count, who had loved her brother's young tutor, and had called to see him once when she was an old gray-haired lady and he an old married man. in the lumber room were heaped up bundles of documents containing deeds of purchase and leases signed by the great lady, who once ruled over seven foundries which had been willed to her by her lover. if one entered the church, one saw in a dusty little cabinet under the pulpit the chest filled with infidel manuscripts, which was not to be opened until the beginning of the new century. and not very far from the church is the river, at the bottom of which rests a pile of sacred images that were not allowed to remain in the pulpit and chancel they once had ornamented. it must have been because so many legends and traditions hovered around the farm that one of the children growing up there longed to become a narrator. it was not one of the boys. they were not at home very much, for they were away at their schools almost the whole year; so the story did not get much of a hold upon them. but it was one of the girls--one who was delicate and could not romp and play like other children, but found her greatest enjoyment in reading and hearing stories about all the great and wonderful things which had happened in the world. however, at the start it was not the girl's intention to write about the stories and legends surrounding her. she hadn't the remotest idea that a book could be made of these adventures, which she had so often heard related that to her they seemed the most commonplace things in the world. when she tried to write, she chose material from her books, and with fresh courage she strung together stories of the sultans in "thousand and one nights," walter scott's heroes, and snorre sturleson's "kings of romance." surely it is needless to state that what she wrote was the least original and the crudest that has ever been put upon paper. but this very naturally she herself did not see. she went about at home on the quiet farm, filling every scrap of paper she could lay her hands on with verse and prose, with plays and romances. when she wasn't writing, she sat and waited for success. and success was to consist in this: some stranger who was very learned and influential, through some rare freak of fortune, was to come and discover what she had written and find it worth printing. after that, all the rest would come of itself. meanwhile nothing of the sort happened. and when the girl had passed her twentieth year, she began to grow impatient. she wondered why success did not come her way. perhaps she lacked knowledge. she probably needed to see a little more of the world than the homestead in vermland. and seeing that it would be a long time before she could earn her livelihood as an author, it was necessary for her to learn something--find some work in life--that she might have bread while she waited for herself. or maybe it was simply this--that the story had lost patience with her. perhaps it thought thus: "since this blind person does not see that which lies nearest her eyes, let her be forced to go away. let her tramp upon gray stone streets; let her live in cramped city rooms with no other outlook than gray stone walls; let her live among people who hide everything that is unusual in them and who appear to be all alike. it may perchance teach her to see that which is waiting outside the gate of her home--all that lives and moves between the stretch of blue hills which she has every day before her eyes." and so, one autumn, when she was two-and-twenty, she travelled up to stockholm to begin preparing herself for the vocation of teacher. the girl soon became absorbed in her work. she wrote no more, but went in for studies and lectures. it actually looked as though the story would lose her altogether. then something extraordinary happened. this same autumn, after she had been living a couple of months amidst gray streets and house walls, she was walking one day up malmskillnad street with a bundle of books under her arm. she had just come from a lecture on the history of literature. the lecture must have been about bellman and runeberg, because she was thinking of them and of the characters that live in their verses. she said to herself that runeberg's jolly warriors and bellman's happy-go-lucky roisterers were the very best material a writer could have to work with. and suddenly this thought flashed upon her: vermland, the world in which you have been living, is not less remarkable than that of fredman or fänrik stål. if you can only learn how to handle it, you will find that your material is quite as good as theirs. this is how it happened that she caught her first glimpse of the story. and the instant she saw it, the ground under her seemed to sway. the whole long malmskillnad street from hamn street hill to the fire-house rose toward the skies and sank again--rose and sank. she stood still a long while, until the street had settled itself. she gazed with astonishment at the passers-by, who walked calmly along, apparently oblivious to the miracle that had taken place. at that moment the girl determined that she would write the story of vermland's cavaliers, and never for an instant did she relinquish the thought of it; but many and long years elapsed before the determination was carried out. in the first place she had entered upon a new field of labor, and she lacked the time needful for the carrying out of a great literary work. in the second place she had failed utterly in her first attempts to write the story. during these years many things were constantly happening which helped mould it. one morning, on a school holiday, she was sitting at the breakfast-table with her father, and the two of them talked of old times. then he began telling of an acquaintance of his youth, whom he described as the most fascinating of men. this man brought joy and cheer with him wherever he went. he could sing; he composed music; he improvised verse. if he struck up a dance, it was not alone the young folk who danced, but old men and old women, high and low. if he made a speech, one had to laugh or cry, whichever he wished. if he drank himself full, he could play and talk better than when he was sober, and when he fell in love with a woman, it was impossible for her to resist him. if he did foolish things, one forgave him; if he was sad at times, one wanted to do anything and everything to see him glad again. but any great success in life he had never had, despite his wealth of talents. he had lived mostly at the foundries in vermland as private tutor. finally he was ordained as a minister. this was the highest that he had attained. after this conversation she could see the hero of her story better than heretofore, and with this a little life and action came into it. one fine day a name was given to the hero and he was called gösta berling. whence he got the name she never knew. it was as if he had named himself. another time, she came home to spend the christmas holidays. one evening the whole family went off to a christmas party a good distance from home in a terrible blizzard. it turned out to be a longer drive than one would have thought. the horse ploughed his way ahead at a walking pace. for several hours she sat there in the sleigh in the blinding snowstorm and thought of the story. when they arrived finally, she had thought out her first chapter. it was the one about the christmas night at the smithy. what a chapter! it was her first and for many years her only one. it was first written in verse, for the original plan was that it should be a romance cycle, like "fänrik stål's sagas." but by degrees this was changed, and for a time the idea was that it should be written as drama. then the christmas night was worked over to go in as the first act. but this attempt did not succeed, either; at last she decided to write the story as a novel. then the chapter was written in prose. it grew enormously long, covering forty written pages. the last time it was rewritten it took up only nine. after a few more years came a second chapter. it was the story of the ball at borg and of the wolves that hunted gösta berling and anna stjernhök. in the beginning this chapter was not written with the thought that it could come into the story, but as a sort of chance composition to be read at a small social gathering. the reading, however, was postponed, and the novelette was sent to _dagny_. after a time the story was returned as unavailable for the magazine. it was in reality not available anywhere. as yet it was altogether lacking in artistic smoothness. meanwhile the author wondered to what purpose this unluckily born novelette could be turned. should she put it into the story? to be sure, it was an adventure by itself--and ended. it would look odd among the rest, which were better connected. perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea, she thought then, if all the chapters of the story were like this one--almost finished adventures? this would be difficult to carry out, but it might possibly be done. there would doubtless be gaps in the continuity here and there, but that should give to the book great strength and variety. now two important matters were settled: the story was to be a novel, and each chapter should be complete in itself. but nothing much had been gained hereby. she who had been fired with the idea of writing the story of vermland's cavaliers when she was two-and-twenty, at this stage was nearing the thirties and had not been able to write more than two chapters. where had the years gone? she had been graduated from the teachers' college and for several years past had been a teacher at landskrona. she had become interested in much and had been occupied with many things, but the story was just as unwritten. a mass of material had certainly been collected, but why was it so hard for her to write it down? why did the inspiration never come to her? why did the pen glide so slowly over the paper? she certainly had her dark moments at that time! she began to think that she never would finish her novel. she was that servant who buried his talent in the ground and never tried to use it. as a matter of fact, all this occurred during the eighties, when stern realism was at its height. she admired the great masters of that time, never thinking that one could use any other style in writing than the one they employed. for her own part, she liked the romanticists better, but romanticism was dead, and she was hardly the one to think of reviving its form and expression! although her brain was filled to overflowing with stories of ghosts and mad love, of wondrously beautiful women and adventure-loving cavaliers, she tried to write about it in calm, realistic prose. she was not very clear-visioned. another would have seen that the impossible was impossible. once she wrote a couple of chapters in another style. one was a scene from svartsjö churchyard; the other was about the old philosopher, uncle eberhard, and his infidel manuscripts. she scribbled them mostly in fun, with many ohs and ahs in the prose, which made it almost rhythmical. she perceived that in this vein she could write. there was inspiration in this--she could feel it. but when the two short chapters were finished, she laid them aside. they were only written in fun. one could not write a whole book in that vein. but now the story had been waiting long enough. it thought, no doubt, as it did at the time when it sent her out in the world: "again i must send this blinded person a great longing which will open her eyes." the longing came over her in this manner: the homestead where she had grown up was sold. she journeyed to the home of her childhood to see it once again before strangers should occupy it. the evening before she left there, perhaps nevermore to see the dear old place, she concluded in all meekness and humility to write the book in her own way and according to her own poor abilities. it was not going to be any great masterwork, as she had hoped. it might be a book at which people would laugh, but anyway she would write it--write it for herself, to save for herself what she could still save of the home--the dear old stories, the sweet peace of the care-free days, and the beautiful landscape with the long lakes and the many-hued blue hills. but for her, who had hoped that she might yet learn to write a book people would care to read, it seemed as though she had relinquished the very thing in life she had been most eager to win. it was the hardest sacrifice she had made thus far. a few weeks later, she was again at her home in landskrona, seated at her writing-desk. she began writing--she didn't know exactly what it was to be--but she was not going to be afraid of the strong words, the exclamations, the interrogations, nor would she be afraid to give herself with all her childishness and all her dreams! after she had come to this decision, the pen began to move almost by itself. this made her quite delirious. she was carried away with enthusiasm. ah, this was writing! unfamiliar thoughts and things, or, rather, things she never had surmised were stored away in her brain, crowded down upon the paper. the pages were filled with a haste of which she had never dreamed. what had hitherto required months--no, years--to work out, was now accomplished in a couple of hours. that evening she wrote the story of the young countess' tramp over the ice on river löven, and the flood at ekeby. the following afternoon she wrote the scene in which the gouty ensign, rutger von örneclou, tries to raise himself in bed to dance the cachuca, and the evening of the next day appeared the story of the old _mamsell_ who went off to visit the parsimonious broby clergyman. now she knew for certain that in this style she could write the book; but she was just as certain that no one would have the patience to read it through. however, not many chapters let themselves be written like this--in one breath. most of them required long and arduous labor, and there were only little snatches of time in the afternoons which she could devote to authorship. when she had been writing about half a year, reckoning from the day when she had gone in for romanticism with a vengeance, about a dozen chapters were written. at this rate the book would be finished in three or four years. it was in the spring of this year, 1890, that _idun_ invited prize competitors to send in short novelettes of about one hundred printed pages. this was an outlet for a story that wanted to be told and sent into the world. it must have been the story itself that prompted her sister to suggest to her that she make use of this opportunity. here, at last, was a way of finding out if her story was so hopelessly bad! if it received the prize, much would be gained; if it didn't, she simply stood in exactly the same position as before. she had nothing against the idea, but she had so little faith in herself that she couldn't come to any conclusion. finally, just eight days before the time for submitting manuscripts had expired, she decided to take from the novel five chapters which were sufficiently well connected to pass for a novelette, and chance it with these. but the chapters were far from ready. three of them were loosely written, but of the remaining two there was barely an outline. then the whole thing must be legibly copied, of course. to add to this, she was not at home just then, but was visiting her sister and brother-in-law, who still lived in vermland. and one who has come to visit with dear friends for a short time cannot spend the days at a writing-desk. she wrote therefore at night, sitting up the whole week until four in the mornings. finally there were only twenty-four hours of the precious time left, and there were still twenty pages to be written. on this the last day they were invited out. the whole family were going on a little journey to be gone for the night. naturally, she had to accompany the rest. when the party was over and the guests dispersed, she sat up all night writing in the strange place. at times she felt very queer. the place where she was visiting was the very estate on which the wicked sintram had lived. fate, in a singular way, had brought her there on the very night when she must write about him who sat in the rocker and rocked. now and then she looked up from her work and listened in the direction of the drawing-room for the possible sound of a pair of rockers in motion. but nothing was heard. when the clock struck six the next morning, the five chapters were finished. along in the forenoon they travelled home on a little freight steamer. there her sister did up the parcel, sealed it with sealing-wax, which had been brought from home for this purpose, wrote the address, and sent off the novelette. this happened on one of the last days in july. toward the end of august _idun_ contained a notice to the effect that something over twenty manuscripts had been received by the editors, but that one or two among them were so confusedly written they could not be counted in. then she gave up waiting for results. she knew, of course, which novelette was so confusedly written that it could not be counted in. one afternoon in november she received a curious telegram. it contained simply the words "hearty congratulations," and was signed by three of her college classmates. for her it was a terribly long wait until dinner-time of the following day, when the stockholm papers were distributed. when the paper was in her hands, she had to search long without finding anything. finally, on the last page she found a little notice in fine print which told that the prize had been awarded to her. to another it might not have meant so much, perhaps, but for her it meant that she could devote herself to the calling which all her life she had longed to follow. there is but little to add to this: the story that wanted to be told and sent out in the world was now fairly near its destination. now it was to be written, at least, even though it might take a few years more before it was finished. she who was writing it had gone up to stockholm around christmas time, after she had received the prize. the editor of _idun_ volunteered to print the book as soon as it was finished. if she could ever find time to write it! the evening before she was to return to landskrona, she spent with her loyal friend, baroness adlersparre[1], to whom she read a few chapters aloud. [footnote 1: baroness adlersparre--pen name, esselde--was a noted swedish writer, publisher, and philanthropist, and a contemporary of fredrika bremer.] "esselde" listened, as only she could listen, and she became interested. after the reading she sat silently and pondered. "how long will it be before all of it is ready?" she asked finally. "three or four years." then they parted. the next morning, two hours before she was to leave stockholm, a message came from esselde bidding her come to her before the departure. the old baroness was in her most positive and determined mood. "now you must take a leave of absence for a year and finish the book. i shall procure the money." fifteen minutes later the girl was on her way to the principal of the teachers' college to ask her assistance in securing a substitute. at one o'clock she was happily seated in the railway carriage. but now she was going no farther than sörmland, where she had good friends who lived in a charming villa. and so they--otto gumaelius and his wife--gave her the freedom of their home--freedom to work, and peace, and the best of care for nearly a year, until the book was finished. now, at last, she could write from morning till night. it was the happiest time of her life. but when the story was finished at the close of the summer, it looked queer. it was wild and disordered, and the connecting threads were so loose that all the parts seemed bent upon following their old inclination to wander off, each in its own way. it never became what it should have been. its misfortune was that it had been compelled to wait so long to be told. if it was not properly disciplined and restrained, it was mostly because the author was so overjoyed in the thought that at last she had been privileged to write it. * * * * * books by the same author jerusalem, a novel (_trans. from swedish by velma swanston howard_) christ legends (_trans. from swedish by velma swanston howard_) wonderful adventures of nils (_trans. from swedish by velma swanston howard_) further adventures of nils (_trans. from swedish by velma swanston howard_) girl from the marsh croft (_trans. from swedish by velma swanston howard_) legend of the sacred image (_trans. from swedish by velma swanston howard_) miracles of antichrist (_trans. from swedish by pauline bancroft flach_) story of gösta berling (_trans. from swedish by pauline bancroft flach_) from a swedish homestead (_trans. from swedish by jessie bröchner_) images generously made available by hathitrust digital library (http://www.hathitrust.org/digital_library) note: images of the original pages are available through hathitrust digital library. see http://catalog.hathitrust.org/record/001787881 the german lieutenant and other stories by august strindberg translated by claud field london t. werner laurie limited 8 essex street, strand 1915 august strindberg. born at stockholm, january 22, 1849; died there, may 14, 1912. a swedish dramatist and novelist, a leader of modern swedish literature. among his plays are "master olof" (1872), "gilletshemlighet" (1880), "fadren" (1887), "froken julie" (1888), "glaubiger" (1889), "till damaskus" (1808), and a series of historical dramas including "gustavas wasa," "erik xiv.," "gustavas adolphus," and "carol xii." he wrote also "roda rummet" (1879), "det nya riket" (1882), which provoked so much criticism that the author left sweden for a number of years; "svenska folket helg och soken" (1882), "giftas" (1884), "die beichte eines thoren" (1893), "inferno" (1897), written after one of his periodical attacks of insanity; "einsam" (1903), an autobiographical novel; "die gotischen zimmer" (1904), and many other volumes. he has been called "the shakspere of sweden." --_the century cyclopædia of names_. contents the german lieutenant over-refinement "unwelcome" higher aims paul and peter a funeral the last shot the german lieutenant chapter i it was fourteen days after sedan, in the middle of september, 1870. a former clerk in the prussian geological survey, later a lieutenant in the reserve, named von bleichroden, sat in his shirt-sleeves before a writing-table in the café du cercle, the best inn of the little town marlotte. he had thrown his military coat with its stiff collar over the back of a chair, and there it hung limp, and collapsed like a corpse, with its empty arms seeming to clutch at the legs of the chair to keep itself from falling headlong. round the body of the coat one saw the mark of the sword-belt, and the left coat-tail was rubbed quite smooth by the sheath. the back of the coat was as dusty as a high-road, and the lieutenant-geologist might have studied the tertiary deposits of the district on the edges of his much-worn trousers. when the orderlies came into the room with their dirty boots, he could till by the traces they left on the floor whether they had been walking over eocene or pleiocene formations. he was really more a geologist than a soldier, but for the present he was a letter-writer. he had pushed his spectacles up to his forehead, sat with his pen at rest, and looked out of the window. the garden lay in all its autumn glory before him, and the branches of the apple and pear trees bent with a load of the most splendid fruit to the ground. orange-red pumpkins sunned themselves close beside prickly grey-green artichokes; fiery-red tomatoes clambered up sticks near wool-white cauliflowers; sun-flowers as large as a plate were turning their yellow disks towards the west, where the sun was beginning to sink; whole companies of dahlias, white as fresh-starched linen, purple-red like congealed blood, dirty-red like fresh-slaughtered flesh, salmon-red, sulphur-yellow, flax-coloured, mottled and speckled, sang one great flower-concert. then there was the sand-strewn path lined by two rows of giant gilly-flowers; faintly lilac-coloured, dazzlingly ice-blue, and straw-yellow, they continued the perspective to where the vineyards stood in their brownish-green array, a small wood of thyrsus-staves with the reddened grape-clusters half hidden under the leaves. behind them were the whitening, unharvested stalks of the cornfields, with the over-ripe ears of corn hanging sorrowfully towards the ground, with wide-open husks and bractlets at every gust of wind paying their tribute to the earth and bursting with their juices. and far in the background were the oak-tree tops and the beechen arches of the forest of fontainebleau, whose outlines melted away into the finest denticulations, like old brussels lace, into the extreme meshes of which the horizontal rays of the evening sun wove gold threads. some bees were still visiting the splendid honey-flowers in the garden; a robin-redbreast twittered in an apple tree; strong gusts of scent came now and then from the gilly-flowers, as when one walks along a pavement and the door of a scent-shop is opened. the lieutenant sat with his pen at rest, visibly entranced by the beautiful scene. "what a lovely land!" he thought, and his recollection went back to the sandy plain of his home, diversified by some wretched stunted firs which stretched their gnarled arms towards the sky as though they implored the favour of not having to drown in the sand. but the beautiful landscape which was framed in the window was shadowed as regularly as clockwork by the musket of the sentry, whose bright, shining bayonet bisected the picture, and who turned on his rounds exactly under a pear tree heavily laden with the finest yellow-green napoleon pears. the lieutenant thought for a moment of asking him to choose another beat, but did not venture to do so; so in order to escape the flash of the bayonet, he let his gaze wander to the left over the courtyard. there stood the cook-house with its yellow-plastered wall, and an old knotty vine spread out against it like the skeleton of some animal in a museum; the vine was without leaves or clusters, and it stood there as though crucified, nailed fast to the decaying espalier, stretching out its long tough arms and fingers as though it wished to draw the sentry into its ghostly embrace as he turned. the lieutenant turned away and looked at his writing-table. there lay the unfinished letter to his young wife whom he had married four months previously, two months before the war broke out. beside his field-glass and the list of the french general staff lay hartmann's "philosophy of the unconscious" and schopenhauer's "parerga and paralipomena." suddenly he rose from the table and walked up and down the room. it had been the meeting and dining-room of the artists' colony which had now vanished. the wainscoting of the walls was adorned with little oil-paintings recording happy hours in the beautiful hospitable country which so generously opened its art-schools and its exhibitions to foreigners. here were depicted spanish dancing-women, roman monks, scenes from the coasts of normandy and brittany, dutch wind-mills, scandinavian fishing-villages and swiss alps. into one corner had crept an easel of walnut-wood, and seemed to be hiding itself in the shadow from some threatening bayonets. a palette smeared with half-dried colours hung there and looked like a liver hanging in a pork-shop. some red spanish militia caps belonging to the painters, with the colour half faded by exposure to the sun and rain, hung on the clothes-horse. the lieutenant felt embarrassed, like one who has intruded into a stranger's house, and expects the owner to come and surprise him. he therefore abruptly ceased walking up and down and took his seat at the table in order to continue his letter. he had finished the first pages, which were full of expressions of his sorrow, home-sickness and anxiety since he had lately heard news which confirmed his joyful hopes of becoming a father. he dipped his pen in the ink rather in order to have someone to talk with than to give or ask for news. he wrote as follows: "so, for example, when i with my hundred men after a march of fourteen hours without food or water, came to a wood where we found an abandoned provision-wagon, what do you think happened? so famished that their eyes protruded from their heads like mountain crystals in granite, the body of men broke up and threw themselves like wolves upon the food, and since there was scarcely enough for twenty-five, they came to blows. no one listened to my word of command, and when the sergeant struck them with the flat of his sabre, they knocked him down with the butt-ends of their muskets. sixteen men remained wounded and half dead on the place. those who got hold of the food ate so greedily that they became sick and had to lie down on the ground, where they at once fell asleep. they fought with their own countrymen like wild beasts who fight for food. "one day we received orders to throw up defences. in the unwooded tract of country we were in there was nothing to use but the vines and their stakes. it was a strange sight to see how the vineyards were rifled in an hour--how the vine-stems were torn up, together with the leaves and grapes, to form faggot-bundles, which were quite wet with the juice of the crushed, half-ripe grapes. it was said that the vines were forty years old. thus we destroyed the work of forty years in an hour. and that too in order to shoot down those who had provided the material for the faggot-bundles which protected us! "another day we had to skirmish in an unreaped field of corn where the ears of corn dropped round our feet like hail and the stalks were trodden down to rot at the next shower of rain. do you think, my dear wife, that one can sleep quietly at night after such doings? and yet, what have i done but my duty? and people venture to assert that the consciousness of duty performed is the best pillow for one's head. "but there are still worse things behind. you have perhaps heard that the french population in order to strengthen their army have risen in a mass and formed bodies of volunteers, who, under the name of 'franc-tireurs,' try to protect their farms and fields. the prussian government has refused to recognise them as soldiers, but has threatened to have them shot down as spies and traitors whenever they are found; because, they say, it is states who wage war and not individuals. but are soldiers not individuals? and are not these franc-tireurs soldiers? they have a grey uniform like the chasseur regiments, and uniforms make soldiers. but it is objected that they are not registered. no, they are not registered, because the government has neither had time to have it done nor are means of communication with the country districts so easy as to make it possible. i have just got three of these franc-tireurs prisoners in the billiard-room, and am every moment expecting orders from headquarters to decide their fate." here he stopped writing, and rang for his orderly. the latter, who was in waiting in the tap-room, at once appeared in the dining-room before the lieutenant. "how are the prisoners going on?" asked von bleichroden. "very well, sir; they are just now playing billiards, and are quite cheerful." "give them some bottles of wine, but of the weakest kind. has nothing happened?" "nothing, sir." von bleichroden continued his letter. "what strange people these frenchmen are! the three franc-tireurs whom i have just mentioned, and who possibly (i say possibly for i still hope for the best) may be condemned to death in a few days, are just now playing billiards in the room next to mine and i hear their cues striking the balls. what happy contempt of the world! it is really splendid to go hence in such a mood; or rather, it shows that life is worth very little if one can part from it so easily--i mean when one has not such dear ties binding one to existence as i possess. of course you won't misunderstand me and believe that i think i am tied ah! i don't know what i am writing, for i have not slept for several nights and my head is so----" just then there was a knock at the door. at the lieutenant's "come in!" the door opened and the curé of the village entered. he was a man of about fifty, with a friendly and melancholy yet firm expression of face. "i come, sir," he began, "to ask you for permission to speak with the prisoners." the lieutenant rose and put on his coat, while he offered the curé a seat on the sofa. but when he had buttoned up the coat tightly and felt the stiff collar close round his neck, it seemed as though his nobler organs were compressed, and as though his blood stood still in coursing through secret channels to his heart. placing his hand on the copy of schopenhauer, and leaning against the writing-table, he said: "i am at your service, monsieur le curé, but i do not think the prisoners will pay you much attention, for they are busy playing billiards." "i think, sir," answered the curé, "that i know my people better than you do. one question. do you intend to have these young fellows shot?" "naturally," answered von bleichroden, quite prepared to assume his rôle. "it is the states which wage war, monsieur le curé, not individuals." "pardon me, sir, are you and your soldiers not individuals?" "pardon me, monsieur, not for the present." he slipped the letter to his wife under the blotting-paper and continued, "i am just now only a representative of the german confederation of states." "but, sir, your amiable empress, whom may god ever protect, was also a representative of the german confederation when she issued her proclamation to german women to help the wounded, and i know of hundreds of individual frenchmen who bless her, although the french nation curses your nation. sir, in the name of jesus the redeemer" (here the curé stood up, seized his enemy's hands and continued in a tear-choked voice), "could you not appeal to her?" the lieutenant was nearly losing his self-control, but he recovered himself and said: "with us women have not yet begun to interfere in politics." "that is a pity," answered the priest, and stood up. the lieutenant seemed to have heard a noise through the window, so that he did not pay attention to the priest's answer. he became restless, and his face was quite white, for the stiff collar could no longer prevent the blood quitting it. "pray sit down, monsieur," he said. "if you wish to speak with the prisoners, you can do so, but remain sitting for a minute." (he listened out of the window again, and now there were heard distinctly doubled hoof-beats, as of a horse galloping.) "no, don't go, monsieur," he said with a gasp. the sound of galloping came nearer till it became a walk, slackened and ceased. there was the clinking of a sword and spurs, footsteps, and von bleichroden held a letter in his hand. he tore it open and read it. "what is the time?" he asked himself. "six! in two hours, monsieur, the prisoners will be shot without trial." "impossible, sir! one does not so hurry men into eternity." "eternity or not, the order says that it must be done before vespers, if i do not wish to regard myself as making common cause with the franc-tireurs. and here there follows a sharp reprimand because i have not carried out the order of august 31st. monsieur, go in and talk with them and spare me the unpleasantness." "you think it unpleasant to report a righteous sentence?" "but i am still a man, monsieur! don't you think i am a man?" he tore open his coat to get air, and began to walk up and down the room. "why cannot we be always men? why must we have two faces? oh, monsieur, go in and talk with them! are they married men? have they wives and children--parents perhaps?" "they are all three unmarried," answered the priest. "but at any rate you might let them have this one night." "impossible! the order says, 'before vespers,' and we have to march at daybreak. go to them, monsieur, go to them!" "i will go; but remember, mr lieutenant, not to go out in your shirt-sleeves, when you go, or you might meet with the same fate as they. for it is the coat, you know, which makes the soldier." and the priest went. von bleichroden wrote the last lines of his letter in a state of great agitation. then he sealed it and rang for the orderly. "post this letter," he said to him, "and send in the sergeant." the sergeant came. "three times three is twenty-nine--no, three times seven is. sergeant, take three times--take seven-and-twenty men and shoot the prisoners within an hour. here is the order!" "shoot them?" asked the sergeant hesitatingly. "yes, shoot them! choose the worst soldiers, those who have been under fire before. you understand? for instance, number 86, besel, number 19, gewehr, and so on. order also for me a fatigue-party of sixteen men at once, and choose the best. we will make a reconnaissance towards fontainebleau, and when we come back it will be over. do you understand?" "sixteen men for you, air, and seven-and-twenty for the prisoners. god protect you, sir!" and he went. the lieutenant buttoned his coat again carefully, put on his sword-belt, and placed a revolver in his pocket. then he lit a cigar, but found it impossible to smoke for he had not enough air in his lungs. he dusted his writing-table; he took his handkerchief and wiped the large pair of scissors, the stick of sealing-wax, and the match-box; he laid the ruler and the pen-holder parallel at an exact right angle with the blotting-paper; then he began to put the furniture straight. when that was finished, he took out his brush and comb and did his hair before the looking-glass; he took down the palette and examined the dabs of paint on it; he inspected all the red caps and tried to make the easel stand on two legs. by the time that the clanking of the weapons of his fatigue-party was audible in the courtyard, there was not a single object in the room which he had not handled. then he went out, gave the command "left wheel! march!" and quitted the village. he felt as though he were running away from a foe of superior power, and the soldiers found it difficult to follow him. when they came to a field he made them go in single file so as not to trample down the grass. he did not turn round, but the soldier next behind him could see how the cloth of the back of his coat twitched from time to time, as when one shudders, or expects a blow from behind. at the edge of the wood he ordered a halt; he told the men to keep quiet and to rest while he went into the wood. when he found himself alone and was quite sure that no one could see him, he took a deep breath and turned towards the dark thickets through which narrow foot-paths lead to the gorge-aux-loups. the under-wood and bushes lay in shadow, but above the sun still shone brightly on the tops of the oaks and beeches. he felt as though he lay on the dark bottom of the sea, and through the green water saw above him the light of day which he never more would reach. the great, wonderfully beautiful wood which formerly had soothed his troubled spirit seemed this evening so disharmonious, so repellent, so cold. life appeared so heartless, so contradictory, and nature herself seemed unhappy in her unconscious sleep. here also the terrible struggle for existence was being carried on, bloodlessly it is true, but just as cruelly as by conscious creatures. he saw how the baby oaks spread themselves out to bushes in order to kill the tender beech-seedlings which would never be more than seedlings; of a thousand beeches only one could get to the light and thereby become a giant, which should in its turn rob the rest of life. and the ruthless oak, which stretched out its gnarled, rough arms as though it wished to keep the whole sun for itself, had discovered how to wage an underground strife. it sent out its long roots in all directions, undermining the ground; it ate away from the others the smallest particles of nourishment; and when it could not overshadow a rival till it was dead, it starved it out. the oak had already murdered the pine-wood, but the beech came as an avenger slow but sure, for its acrid juices kill everything where it predominates. it had discovered the method of poisoning which was irresistible, for not a single plant could grow in-its shadow; the earth around it was dark as a grave, and therefore the future belonged to it. the lieutenant wandered on and on. he struck about with his sword without thinking how many hopeful young oaklings he destroyed, how many headless cripples he produced. in fact he hardly thought any more, for all the activities of his soul seemed crushed in a mortar to pulp. his thoughts tried to crystallise themselves but dissolved and floated away; memories, hopes, wrath, gentler feelings, and one great hatred of all the perversity which by the operation of an inexplicable natural force had come to rule the world, melted together in his brain, as though an inner fire had suddenly raised the temperature and obliged all its solid constituents to assume a fluid form. suddenly he started and stood still as if arrested, for from marlotte came a sound rolling over the fields and redoubling its echoes in the hollow passage of the "wolves' gorge." it was the drum! first a long roll--trrrrrrrrrrrrrom!--and then blow on blow, one and two, dull and muffled, as when one nails up a coffin and fears to disturb the house of mourning--trrrom!--trrrom!--trom!--trom! he took out his watch; it was a quarter to seven. in a quarter of an hour it would happen! he wished to return and see it. no, he had just run away to avoid it; he would not see it for anything. then he climbed up a tree. now he saw the village, which looked so bright and homelike with its little gardens and church-tower rising above the house roofs. he saw no more, but held his watch in his hand and followed the second hand. tick, tick, tick, tick--it ran round the little dial-plate so swiftly; but when the second hand had made one round, the long one made a jerk and the steady hour hand stood still, as it seemed to him, though it was moving also. now the watch showed five minutes to seven. he gripped the smooth black beech stem he was standing by very tightly. the watch trembled in his hand, there was a humming in his ears, and he felt a burning sensation at the roots of his hair. crash! there was a sound just as when a plank breaks, and above a dark slate roof and a white apple tree rose a blue cloud of smoke over the village, bluish white like a spring cloud; but above the cloud one, two, and several smoke-rings shot up in the air, as though they had been shooting at pigeons and not towards a wall. "they were not all so bad as i thought," he said to himself as he got down from the tree, feeling quieter now that it was over. and now the little village church bell began to ring, speaking of peace and quiet for the dead who had done their duty, but not for all the living who had done theirs. the sun had gone down, and the moon, whose pale yellow disk had hung in the sky all the afternoon, began to redden and gather light as the lieutenant with his men marched by montcourt, still followed by the ringing of the little bell. they came out on the great high-road to nemours, which, with its two rows of poplars, seemed peculiarly suited for marching on. so they went on till it was quite night and the moon shone clearly. in the last row the men had already begun to whisper and consult secretly whether they should not ask the corporal to give the lieutenant some sort of hint that the district was unsafe and that they should return to their quarters in order to be able to march at daybreak, when von bleichroden quite unexpectedly commanded "halt!" they stood on a rising ground from which marlotte could be seen. the lieutenant stood quite still, like a pointer who startles a covey of partridges. now the drum was beating again. then the clock in montcourt struck nine, followed by those in grez, in bourron, in nemours; and then all the little church bells began to ring for vespers, vying with each other in shrillness, and through them all pierced the tones of the bell in marlotte, which called "help! help!" and von bleichroden could not help. now came a booming along the ground, as though from the depths of the earth; it was the firing of the evening gun at the headquarters in chalons. the moon shone through the light evening mists which were lying like great flocks of wool above the little river loin, and lit it up so that it resembled a lava stream running in the distance from the dark wood of fontainebleau which rose like a volcano. the evening was oppressively warm, but the men had all white faces, so that the bats which swarmed around them flew close by their ears, as they do when they see anything white. all knew what the lieutenant was thinking about, but they had never seen him behave so strangely and feared that it was not all right with this aimless reconnaissance on the high-road. at last the corporal summoned up boldness to approach him, and under the form of making a report drew his attention to the fact that the tattoo had sounded. von bleichroden received the information with a humble air, as when one receives a command, and gave the order to return home. when, one hour later, they entered the first street of marlotte the corporal noticed that the lieutenant's right leg was contracted as though by a spavin, and that he moved in a diagonal course like a horse-fly. in the market-place the troops were dismissed without evening prayers, and the lieutenant disappeared. he did not wish to return to his rooms at once. something was drawing him he knew not whither. he ran about with widely opened eyes and inflated nostrils, like a hound on the scent. he examined the walls and sniffed for a familiar smell. he saw nothing and met no one. he wished to see where "it" had happened, but he also feared to see it. at last he became tired and went home. in the courtyard he stopped and then went round the cook-house. suddenly he came upon the sergeant and was so startled that he had to support himself by holding on to the wall. the sergeant was also startled, but recovered himself and began, "i was looking for you, sir, in order to make my report." "very good! very good indeed! go home and lie down," answered von bleichroden, as though he feared to hear details. "yes, sir, but it was----" "very good! go! go!" he spoke so quickly and uninterruptedly that it was impossible for the sergeant to put in a word. every time he opened his mouth he was overwhelmed with a torrent of words, so that at last he became tired of it and went away. then the lieutenant breathed again and felt like a boy who has escaped a thrashing. he was now in the garden. the moon shone brightly on the yellow wall of the cook-house, and the vine stretched its skeleton arms as though in a very long yawn. but what was that? two or three hours before it had been dead and leafless, simply a grey skeleton which writhed, and now were there not hanging on it the finest red clusters, and had not the stem grown green? he went nearer in order to see whether it was the same vine. as he came close to the wall he stepped in something slippery and was aware of the same nauseous smell which one perceives in butchers' shops. and now he saw that it was the same vine, certainly the same, but the plaster of the wall was broken by bullets and sprinkled with blood. he went away quickly. when he came into the front hall he stumbled over something which lay under his feet. he drew off his boots in the hall and threw them out in the garden. then he went into his room, where his tea was laid. he felt terribly hungry but could not eat. he remained standing and staring at the covered table which was so neatly spread: the white pat of butter with a little radish laid on the top of it; the tablecloth was white and he saw that it was embroidered with his or his wife's initials, which had not been there at first; the little goat's milk cheese lay so neatly on its vine leaf, as though something more than the fear of a forced contribution had operated here; the beautiful little white loaf so unlike the brown rye-bread to which he was accustomed; the red wine in the polished decanter; the thin reddish slices of mutton--all seemed to have been arranged by friendly hands. but he felt afraid to touch the food, and suddenly rang the bell. immediately the landlady stood in the doorway without saying a word. she looked down at his feet and waited for an order. the lieutenant did not know what he wanted, nor did he remember for what he had rung, but he had to say something. "are you angry with me?" he stammered. "no, sir," answered the woman mildly. "does the gentleman want anything?" and she looked down again at his feet. he also looked down to see what had attracted her attention, and discovered that he was standing in his stockings, and that the floor was covered with red footprints--red footprints with the mark of the toes where his stockings had been torn, for he had walked far that day. "give me your hand, my good woman," he said, stretching out his own. "no," answered the woman, and looked straight into his eyes. then she left the room. herr von bleichroden tried to pluck up courage after this snub, and took a chair and sat down to his meal. he lifted the plate of meat in order to help himself, but the smell of the meat made him feel ill. he stood up, opened the window, and threw the whole plate with its contents into the garden. his whole body trembled and he felt sick; his eyes were so sensitive that the light tried them, and all bright colours irritated them. he threw out the red bottle of wine, he took away the red radish from the butter, the red painters' caps and palettes--everything that was red had to go. then he lay down on the bed. his eyes were tired, but he could not close them, so he lay for an hour, till he heard voices in the tap-room. he did not wish to listen, but he could not shut his ears, and recognised that they were two corporals who were drinking beer and talking. "those were two sturdy fellows--the two short ones, but the long one was weak." "yes, he fell like a bundle of rags by the wall. he had asked that they should fasten him to the espalier, for he wished to stand, he said." "but the others--devil take me!--stood with their arms folded over their breasts, as though they were going to be photographed." "yes, but when the priest came into the billiard-room and told them there was no chance, all three fell crash on the ground, so at least the sergeant said, but there was no scream nor prayer for mercy." "yes, they were deuced plucky chaps. your health!" herr von bleichroden pressed his head into his pillow and stopped his ears with the sheets. but presently he got up. it was as if something drew him forcibly to the door behind which they were talking, he wanted to hear more; but the corporals now conversed in low tones. accordingly he stole forward, leant his back against a corner, laid his ear to the keyhole and listened. "but did you see our people? their faces were as grey as pipe ashes, and many of them shot in the air. don't let us talk more about it! but they got what they deserved, and they weighed much more when they went than when they came. it was like shooting little birds with grapeshot." "did you see the priest's boys in red cassocks who stood and sang with the coffee-roasters? it was like snuffing out a light when the rifles cracked. they rolled in the bean-beds like sparrows, fluttering their wings and turning their eyes. and how the old women came and picked up the pieces! oh! oh! but so it goes in war. your health!" herr von bleichroden had heard enough; the blood had so gone to his brain that he could not sleep. he went into the tap-room and told the corporals-to go home. then he undressed himself, dipped his head in the hand-basin, took up schopenhauer and began to read with pulses beating violently: "birth and death both belong to life; they constitute two opposites which condition each other; they are the two extreme poles in each manifestation of life. this is just what the deepest of all mythologies, the hindu, has expressed by investing siva the goddess of destruction with a necklace of skulls and the lingam, the organ of reproduction. death is the painful dissolution of a knot which was tied in pleasure, it is the forcible doing away with the fundamental mistake of our existence, it is deliverance from a delusion." he let the book drop, for he heard someone crying and tossing about in his bed. who was in the bed? he saw a body, the under part of which was painfully contorted by cramp, while the muscles of the chest stood out strained like the staves of a cask, and he heard a low, hollow sound like a shriek smothered under the bed-clothes. it was his own body! had he then been divided into two, that he heard and saw himself as though he were another person? the screaming continued. the door opened and the mild-mannered landlady came in, probably alter knocking. "what does the gentleman want?" she asked with shining eyes and a peculiar smile upon her lips. "i!" answered the sick man. "nothing! but i am very ill and would like to see a doctor." "there is no doctor here, but the priest is accustomed to help us," answered the woman, smiling no longer. "send for the priest then," said the lieutenant, "though i don't generally like them." "but when one is ill, one likes them," said the woman, and disappeared. when the priest entered he went to the bed and took the sick man's wrist. "what do you think it is?" asked the latter. "what do you think it is?" "a bad conscience," was the priest's brief reply. herr von bleichroden answered excitedly, "a bad conscience after doing one's duty!" "yes," answered the priest, tying a wet handkerchief round the sick man's head. "listen to me while you still can. it is now _you_ who are condemned--to a worse lot than the --three! listen to me carefully. i know the symptoms. you are on the edge of madness. you must try to think the matter out. think hard, and you will find your brain get right again. look at me, and follow my words if you can. you have become two persons. you regard one part of yourself as though it were a second or a third person. how did that happen? it is the social falsehood, which makes us all double. when you wrote to your wife to-day you were a man--a true, simple, good man; but when you spoke with me you were another character altogether. just as an actor loses his personality and becomes a mere conglomeration of the parts he performs, so an official becomes two persons at least. now when there comes a spiritual shock, upheaval or earthquake, the soul splits, as it were, in two, and the two natures lie side by side, and contemplate each other. "i see a book lying on the ground which i also know. the author was a deep thinker, perhaps the deepest of all. he saw through the misery and nothingness of earthly life as though he had learnt from our lord and saviour, but for all that he could not help being a double character, for life, birth, habit and human weakness compelled him to relapses. you see, sir, that i have read other books beside the breviary. and i talk as a doctor, not as a priest, for we both--follow me carefully--we both understand one another. do you think i do not know the curse of the double life which i lead? not that i feel any doubt of the holy things, which have passed into my blood and bones, so to speak, but i know, sir, that i do not speak in god's name when i speak. falsehood passes into us from our mother's womb and breast, and he who would tell the whole truth out under present circumstances--yes, yes! can you follow me?" the sick man listened eagerly, and his eyelids had not dropped once all the time the priest was speaking. "now there is a little traitor," continued the priest, "with a torch in his hand, an angel who goes about with a basket of roses with which he bestrews the refuse-heaps of life. he is an angel of deceit, and he is called 'the beautiful.' the heathen worshipped him in greece; princes have done him homage, for he has bewitched the eyes of people so that they could not see things as they are. he goes through the whole of life, falsifying and falsifying. why do you warriors dress in splendid clothes with gold and brilliant colours? why do you always work with music and flying flags? is it not to conceal what is really at the bottom of your profession? if you loved the truth, you ought to go about in white smocks, like butchers, so that the bloodstains might show distinctly, with knives and marrow-borers as they do in slaughter-houses, with axes dripping blood and greasy with tallow. instead of a band of music, you ought to drive before you a herd of howling maniacs whom the sights of the battlefield have driven crazy; instead of flags, you should carry shrouds and draw coffins on your wagon-trains." the sick man, who now writhed in convulsions, clasped his hands in prayer and bit his finger-nails. the priest's face had assumed a terrible expression--hard, implacable, hostile. he continued: "you are naturally a good man, you, and i will not punish that side of you, but i punish you as a representative, as you called yourself, and your punishment will be a warning to others. will you see the three corpses? will you see them?" "no! for jesus' sake!" shrieked the sick man, whose nightshirt was wet with sweat and clung to his shoulder-blades. "your cowardice shows that you are a man, and, as such, cowardly." as though struck by the blow of a whip, the sick man started up; his face seemed composed, his chest was no more convulsed, and with a calm voice, as though he were quite well, he said: "go, devil of a priest, or you will make me do something desperate." "but i shall not come again if you call me," said the other. "remember that! remember, that if you cannot sleep it is not my fault, but the fault of those who lie in the billiard-room! in the billiard-room, you know!" he flung open the door of the billiard-room, and a terrible smell of carbolic acid streamed into the sick-chamber. "do you smell it? do you smell it? that is not like smelling powder, nor is it an exploit to telegraph home about. great victory! three dead and one mad! god be praised! it is not an occasion for writing odes, strewing flowers in the streets, and singing te deums in the churches? it is not a victory! it is murder, murder, you murderer!" herr von bleichroden had sprung out of bed and jumped out of the window. in the courtyard he was seized by some of his men, whom he tried to bite. then he was bound and placed in a headquarter ambulance in order to be taken to the asylum as a complete maniac. chapter ii it was a sunny morning at the end of february, 1871. up the steep martheray hill in lausanne a young woman walked slowly, leaning on the arm of a middle-aged man. she was far gone in pregnancy, and hung heavily on her companion's arm. her face was that of a girl, but it was pale with care, and she was dressed in mourning. the man was not, from which the passers-by concluded that he was not her husband. he seemed in deep trouble, stooped down now and then to the little woman and said a word or two to her, then seemed to be absorbed again in his own thoughts. when they came to the old custom-house in front of the inn "a l'ours," they stood still. "is there another hill?" she asked. "yes, dear," he answered. "let us sit down for a moment." they sat down on a seat before the inn. her heart beat slowly and her breast heaved painfully, as though for want of air. "i am sorry for you, poor brother," she said. "i see that you are longing to be with your own family." "don't mention it, sister! don't let us talk about it. certainly my heart is sometimes far away, and they need me at the sowing time, but you are my sister, and one cannot disown one's flesh and blood." "we shall see now," resumed frau von bleichroden, "whether this air and this new treatment will help towards his cure. what do you think?" "certainly it will," her brother answered, but turned his head aside so that she should not see the doubt in his face. "what a winter i have passed through in frankfort! to think that destiny can invent such tragedies! i think i could have borne his death more easily than this living burial." "but one must always hope," said her brother in a hopeless tone. and his thoughts travelled far--to his children and his fields. but immediately afterwards he felt ashamed of his selfishness, that he could not sympathise fully with this grief, which was really not his own but which he had to share, and he felt angry with himself. suddenly there sounded from the hill above a shrill, prolonged scream, like the whistle of a locomotive, and then another. "does the train go so high up the mountain?" asked frau von bleichroden. "yes, it must be that," said her brother, and listened with wide-open eyes. the scream was repeated. but now it sounded as if someone were drowning. "let us go home again," said herr schantz, who had become quite pale; "you cannot climb this hill to-day, and to-morrow we will be wiser and take a carriage." but his sister insisted on proceeding in spite of all. and so they ascended the long hill to the hospital, though it was like a climb up calvary. through the green hawthorn hedges on both sides of the way, darted black thrushes with yellow beaks; grey lizards raced over the ivy-grown walls and disappeared in the crevices. it was full spring, for there had been no winter, and by the edges of the path bloomed primroses and hellebores; but they did not arrest the attention of the pilgrims. when they had got half-way up the hill, the mysterious screaming was repeated. as though overcome by a sudden foreboding, frau von bleichroden turned to her brother, looked in his eyes with her own, which were clouding over, only to see her fears confirmed, then she sank down on the path without being able to utter a cry, while a yellow cloud of dust whirled over her. and there she remained lying. before her brother could collect himself a casual passer-by had run for a carriage, and as the young woman was carried into it her work for the coming generation had already begun, and now two cries were heard--the cries of two human creatures from the depths of sorrow. her brother stood on the pathway looking up to the blue sky of spring, and thought to himself, "if the cries could only be heard up there, but it is certainly too high." in the hospital which stood above them, von bleichroden had been lodged in a room which had an open view towards the south. the walls were padded and painted with flowing contours of landscapes in faint blue. on the ceiling was painted an espalier with vine leaves. the floor was carpeted, and under the carpet was a layer of straw. the furniture was completely covered with horsehair and cushions, so that no corners or edges of the wood were visible. the situation of the door could not be discovered from within the room, thereby diverting all the patient's thoughts of getting out and the consciousness of being confined, the most dangerous of all to a mind in a state of excitement. the windows, it is true, were grated, but the gratings were elaborately wrought in the shape of lilies and leaves, and so painted that their purpose was quite disguised. von bleichroden's madness had taken the form of torments of conscience. he imagined that he had murdered the keeper of a vineyard under mysterious circumstances, which he could never bring himself to confess for the simple reason that he could not remember them. now he thought himself condemned to death and sitting in prison awaiting the execution of the sentence. but he had lucid intervals. then he fastened large sheets of paper on the walls of the room and wrote syllogisms on them till they were covered. then he remembered that he had caused some franc-tireurs to be shot, but did not remember that he was married. when his wife came to see him he received her visit like that of a pupil to whom he was giving lessons in logic. he had written up as the premise of his syllogisms, "all franc-tireurs are traitors and the order is to shoot them." one day his wife, who was obliged to agree with everything, had the rashness to shake his belief in the premise that "all franc-tireurs are traitors," thereupon he tore down all the syllogisms from the wall and said that he would spend twenty years in proving the premise, for premises must first be proved. besides this, he cherished great projects for the good of mankind. what is the object of all our striving here upon earth? he asked. why does the king reign, the priest preach, the poet write, the artist paint? in order to procure nitrogen for the body. nitrogen is the dearest of all kinds of food, and that is why meat is so expensive. nitrogen is intelligence, for the rich who eat meat are more intelligent than the others who only eat vegetable hydrates. now (so ran his argument) nitrogen was beginning to be scarce on the earth and this was why there came wars, workmen's strikes, newspapers, pietists and _coups d'état_. therefore it was necessary to discover a new nitrogen mine. von bleichroden had done so, and now all men would be equal; liberty, equality and fraternity would arrive and be realised on earth. this inexhaustible mine was--the air. it contained seventy-nine per cent of nitrogen, and a means must be devised of inhaling it directly and of using it for the nourishment of the body without the necessity of it being first condensed into grass, corn and vegetables, and then converted by an animal into flesh. that was the problem of the future with which von bleichroden was busying himself; its solution would render agriculture and cattle-breeding superfluous, and the golden age would return on earth. but at intervals he again sank into dreams about the murder he supposed himself to have committed, and was profoundly miserable. the same february morning on which his wife had been on her way to the asylum and had been obliged to return, von bleichroden sat in his new room and looked out of the window. at first he had contemplated the vine painted on the ceiling and the landscape on the walls; then he set himself in a comfortable chair opposite the window so that he had a clear view in front of him. he felt quiet to-day, for he had taken a cold bath the evening before and had slept well. he knew that the month was february, but he did not know where he was. the first thing that struck him was the absence of snow out of doors, and that surprised him for he had never been in southern lands. outside in front of the window stood green bushes--the "laurier teint" quite covered with flowers, the "laurier cerise" with its shining bright green leaves, green through the whole winter. there was also a box tree and an elm quite overgrown with ivy which concealed all the branches and gave the tree the appearance of being in full leaf. over the lawn, which was starred with primroses, as though a shower of sulphur had fallen on it, a man passed mowing the grass with a scythe, while a little girl was raking the beds. von bleichroden took an almanac and read "february." "raking in february! where am i?" he asked himself. then his eyes travelled beyond the garden and he saw a deep valley which sank gradually but was as green as a summer meadow. little villages and churches stood here and there, and he could see bright green weeping-willows. "in february!" he said to himself again. and where the meadows ceased there lay a lake, quite calm and clear blue as air. on the other side of the lake was a landscape fading in azure tints, topped by a chain of hills. but above the chain of hills were some other objects which resembled clouds. they were of as delicate a white as fresh-washed wool, but they were pointed and over them lay small thin clouds. he did not know where he was, but it was so beautiful that it could not be on the earth. was he dead, and had he entered another world? he was certainly not in europe. perhaps he was dead! he sank into quiet musing and sought to realise his new situation. but when he looked up again he saw that the whole sunny picture was framed and crossed by the window-grating; the hammered iron lilies and the leaf-work stood out in sharp relief as though they were floating in the air. he was at first startled, but then he composed himself; he contemplated the picture once more, especially the pointed rosy clouds (as he thought them). then he felt a wonderful joy and sensation of relief in his head: it was as though the convolutions of his brain, after having been hopelessly entangled, began to arrange and order themselves. he was so glad that he began to sing, as he thought, but he had never sung in his life and therefore he only uttered cries of joy. it was these which had issued from the window and filled his wife with grief and despair. after sitting thus for an hour, he had remembered an old painting in a bowling alley near berlin which represented a swiss landscape, and now he knew that he was in switzerland and that the pointed clouds were alps. when the doctor made his second round he found von bleichroden sitting quietly in a chair before the window and humming to himself, and it was not possible to divert his gaze from the beautiful scene. but he was quite clear in his mind and fully realised his situation. "doctor," he said, pointing to the grated window, "why do you want to spoil and fleur-de-lisify such a beautiful picture? won't you let me go into the open air? i think it would do me good, and i promise not to run away." the doctor took his hand in order to feel his pulse secretly with his forefinger. "my pulse is only seventy, doctor," said the patient, smiling, "and i slept well last night. you have nothing to fear." "i am glad," said the doctor, "that the treatment has really had some effect on you. you can go out." "do you know, doctor," said the patient with an energetic gesture, "do you know that i feel as though i had been dead and come to life in another planet--so beautiful does it all seem. never did i dream that the earth could be so wonderful." "yes, sir, the earth is still beautiful where civilisation has not spoilt it, and here nature is so strong that it resists the efforts of men. do you think that your own country was always so ugly as it now is? no; where now there are waste sandy plains, which could not nourish a goat, there formerly rustled noble woods of oak, beech and fir, under whose shadow beasts of the chase fed, and where fat herds of the norse-men's best kine fattened themselves on acorns." "you are a disciple of rousseau, doctor," broke in the patient. "rousseau was a genevese, sir. there on the margin of the lake, deep in the bay which you see above the top of the elms, he was born and suffered, and there his 'emile' and 'contrat sociale,' the gospels of nature, were burnt. there on the left, at the foot of the valais alps, in little clarens, he wrote the book of love, 'la nouvelle heloise,' for it is the lake of geneva which you see." "the lake of geneva!" repeated von bleichroden. "in this quiet valley," continued the doctor, "where peaceful men live, many wounded spirits have sought healing. see there to the right, immediately above the little promontory with the tower and the poplars, lies ferney. thither fled voltaire when he had finished his rôle of 'persifleur' in paris, and there he cultivated the ground and erected a temple to the supreme being. farther on lies coppet, where lived madame de staël, the worst enemy of napoleon, the betrayer of the people, who dared to teach the french, her countrymen, that the german nation was not france's barbarian enemy, for nations do not hate each other. look now to the left; hither to this quiet lake fled the shattered byron who, like a bound titan, had torn himself loose from the trammels by which a period of reaction had endeavoured to imprison his strong soul, and here below he wrote the 'prisoner of chillon,' to express his intense hatred of tyrants. there under the lofty mount grammont he was nearly drowned one day before the little fishing village st gingolphe, but his life was not yet finished. hither fled all who could not tolerate the infected air which spread like a cholera over europe after the conspiracy of the holy alliance against the newly won rights of the revolution, that is, of mankind. here, a thousand feet below you, mendelssohn composed his melancholy songs, and gounod wrote his 'faust.' can you not see whence he derived his inspiration for the 'witches' night,'--there, in the precipices of the savoy alps? here victor hugo composed his fierce satires against the treachery of napoleon iii.; and here (strange irony of fate!) below in little quiet retired vevey, where the north wind can never come, your own kaiser sought to forget the terrible scenes of sadowa and königgratz. there the russian gortschakoff hid himself when he felt the ground shaking beneath his feet; here lord russell washed off the dust of politics and breathed pure unpolluted air; here thiers sought to reduce to order his inconsistent, but, as i believe, honest schemes, often confused by political storms, and may he now, when he is to support the destinies of his people, remember the innocent hours in which his spirit communed with itself before the mild but solemn majesty of nature! and look over to geneva, sir! there dwells no king with his court, but there was born a thought which is as great as christianity, and whose apostles also carry a cross, a red cross on their white flags. when the mauser rifles shot at the french eagle and the chassepot at the german eagle, the red cross was held sacred by those who did not bow before the black cross, and in this sign, i believe, the future will conquer." the patient, who had listened quietly to this strange speech which was as emotional, not to say sentimental, as if it had come from a preacher instead of a doctor, felt bored. "you are an enthusiast, doctor," he said. "so will you be when you have lived here three months," answered the physician. "you believe then in the treatment?" asked the patient somewhat less sceptically than before. "i believe in the inexhaustible power of nature to heal the sickness of civilisation," he answered. "do you feel strong enough to hear a good piece of news?" he continued, watching his patient closely. "quite, doctor!" "well then, peace has been made!" "god! what a happiness!" the patient burst out. "yes certainly," said the doctor; "but don't ask more, for you cannot hear more to-day. come out now, but be prepared for one thing. your recovery will not be so rapid as you think. you may have relapses. memory, you see, is our worst enemy,--but come with me now." the doctor took his patient's arm and led him into the garden. there were no railings and no walls to bar one's passage, but only green hedges, which conducted the wanderer back by labyrinthine paths to his starting-point; but behind the hedges were deep trenches which were impossible to cross. the lieutenant sought for familiar phrases with which to express his delight, but he felt that they were so inadequate that he resolved to be silent, listening to a wonderful soundless nerve music. he felt as though all the strings of his soul were being tuned again, and he experienced a calm such as he had not felt for a very long time. "do you doubt whether i am recovered?" he asked the doctor with a melancholy smile. "you are on the way to recovery, as i told you before, but you are not quite well." they found themselves now before a little arched stone door through which patients, accompanied by keepers, were passing. "where are all these men going?" asked the lieutenant. "follow them and you will see," said the doctor. "you have my permission." von bleichroden entered, but the doctor beckoned to a keeper. "go down to the hôtel faucon to frau von bleichroden," he said. "give her my respects, and say that her husband is on the way to recovery but has not yet asked after his wife. when he does that he is saved." the keeper went, and the doctor followed his patient through the little stone gate. von bleichroden had entered a large hall which resembled no room that he had even seen before. it was neither a church, nor a theatre, nor a school, nor a town hall, but a little of all together. at the end of it was an apse which opened in three windows filled with painted glass. the colours harmonised with each other as though composed by a great artist's hand, and the light which entered was resolved, as it were, into one great harmonic major chord. it made the same impression on the patient as the c major chord with which haydn disperses the darkness of chaos, when at the creation the lord, after the choir have been long painfully toiling at disentangling the disordered forces of nature, suddenly calls out "let there be light!" and cherubim and seraphim join in. under the window was a rock of stalactite formation, shaped like an arch, from which trickled a little stream falling into a basin overhung by two arum lilies whose cups were as white as angels' wings. the pillars which enclosed the apse were constructed in no familiar architectural style, and their shafts were covered up to the roof with soft brown liver-wort. the lower panelling of the wall was covered with fir twigs, and the walls themselves were decorated by leaves of ever-green plants--laurel, holm-oak and mistletoe--arranged in designs of no particular style. sometimes they seemed about to form letters, but lost themselves in faint fantastic flourishes, like raphael's arabesques. under the window apertures hung large wreaths as if for a may festival, and along the frieze of the ceiling there ran a design which had nothing in common with the lotus borders of egypt, the meandering curves of greece, the acanthus decorations of rome, or the trefoil and crucifers of the gothic style. von bleichroden looked about him and found the place provided with benches where the patients of the institute sat absorbed in silent wonder. he took a seat on one of them and heard someone sighing near him. then he perceived a man about forty years old who had covered his face with his hands and wept. he had an aquiline nose, moustache and pointed beard, and his profile resembled those which von bleichroden had seen on french coins. he was certainly a frenchman. here then they were to meet, enemy with enemy, both somewhat tearful! why? because they had fulfilled their duties towards their respective fatherlands! herr von bleichroden felt excited and uneasy when he suddenly heard a strain of faint music. the organ was playing a chorale, but a chorale in the major key; it was neither lutheran, nor catholic, nor calvinist, nor greek, yet it spoke a language, and the patient thought he heard hopeful and comforting words. then a man got up by the apsis and stood there half hidden by the stalactite rock. was he a priest? no, he was dressed in a light grey coat, wore a bright blue cravat, and displayed an open shirt-front. he had no book with him, but spoke gently and simply as one speaks among friends. he spoke of the simple teaching of christianity--to love one's neighbour as oneself; to be patient, tolerant, and forgiving towards enemies. he recalled how christ had conceived of humanity as one, but how the evil nature of man had counteracted this great idea--how men had grouped themselves into nations, sects and schools; but he also expressed his firm hope that the principles of christianity would soon be realised. he came down after speaking for a quarter of an hour, and offering a short prayer to god the omnipotent without introducing any names which might remind his hearers of a formal creed or rouse their passions. herr von bleichroden awoke as though from a dream. he had, then, been in church--he who, weary of all petty religious strifes, had not been to a service for fifteen years! and here, in a lunatic asylum, it was his fortune to find a free church fully realised. here sat roman catholics, greek catholics, lutherans, calvinists, zwinglians, anglicans side by side and worshipped the same god in common. what a crushing criticism this church hall suggested for all those sects, born of the selfishness of men, which massacred, burnt and despised each other! what a handle did it supply for the attack of the "heretical" church on this political and dynastic christianity! herr von bleichroden let his gaze wander over the beautiful hall in order to drive away the terrible pictures which his imagination had conjured up. his eye roamed about till it fastened on the wall opposite the apse. there hung a colossal wreath, in the centre of which stood a word whose letters were formed of fir twigs. it was the french word "noel," followed by the german "weihnacht." what poet had arranged this hall? what knower of men, what deep mind had so understood how to awaken the most beautiful and purest of all recollections? would not an overclouded mind feel an eager longing for light and clearness when it recollected the festival of light commemorating the end or, at any rate, the beginning of the end of the dark days at the turn of the year? would not the recollection of childhood, when no religious strifes, no political hatred, no ambitious empty dreams had obscured the sense of right in a pure conscience--would it not stir a music in the soul louder than all those wild-beast bowlings which one had heard in life in the struggle for bread, or more often for honour? he continued to meditate, and asked himself, how is it that man, so innocent as a child, afterwards becomes so evil as he grows older? is it education and school, these lauded products of civilisation, which teach us to be bad? what do our first school-books teach us? they teach us that god is an avenger who punishes the sins of the fathers in the children unto the third and fourth generation; they teach us that those men are heroes who have roused nation against nation, and pillaged lands and kingdoms; that those are great men who have succeeded in obtaining honour the emptiness of which all see, but after which all strive; and that true statesmen are those who accomplish great and not high aims in a crafty manner, whose whole merit consists in want of conscience, and who will always conquer in the struggle against those who possess one. and in order that our children may learn all this, parents make sacrifices and renunciation and suffer the great pain of separation from their offspring. surely the whole world must be a lunatic asylum, if this place was the most reasonable one he had ever been in! now he looked again at the only written word in the whole church, and spelt it over again; then there began to rise in the secret recesses of his memory a picture, as when a photographer washes a grey negative plate with ferrous sulphate as soon as he has taken it out of the camera. he thought he saw his last christmas eve represented before him. the last? no! then he was in frankfort. then it was the last but one. it was the first evening he had spent in his fiancée's house, for they had been betrothed the day before. now he saw the home of the old pastor, his father-in-law; he saw the low room with the white sideboard, the piano, the chaffinch in the cage, the balsam plants in the window, the cupboard with the silver jug on it, the tobacco pipes--some of meerschaum, some of red clay--and the daughter of the house going about hanging nuts and apples on the christmas tree. the daughter of the house! it was like a flash of lightning in the darkness, but of beautiful, harmless summer lightning which one watches from a veranda without any fear of being struck. he was betrothed, he was married, he had a wife--his own wife who reunited him to life which he had previously despised and hated. but where was she? he must see and meet her now, at once! he must fly to her, otherwise he would die of impatience. he hastened out of the church, and immediately met the doctor who had been waiting for him to see the effect of his visit to it. herr von bleichroden seized him by the shoulders, looked him straight in the eyes, and said with a kind of gasp, "where is my wife? take me to her at once. at once! where is she?" "she and your daughter," said the doctor quietly, "are waiting for you below in the rue de bourg." "my daughter! i have a daughter!" interrupted the patient, and began weeping. "you are very emotional, herr von bleichroden," said the doctor, smiling. "yes, doctor, one must be so here." "well, come and dress for going out," answered the doctor, and took his arm. "in half an hour you will be with your family and then you will be with yourself again." and they disappeared into the front hall of the institute. * * * * * herr von bleichroden was a completely modern type. great grandson of the french revolution, grandson of the holy alliance, son of the year 1830, like an ill-starred sailor he had made shipwreck between the cliffs of revolution and reaction. when between twenty and thirty years of age his intellect awoke and he realised in what a tissue of lies, both religious and political, he was involved, he felt as though he were really awake for the first time, or as though he were the only sane man shut up in a mad-house. and when he could not discover a single aperture in the enclosing wall by which he might escape without being confronted by a bayonet or the muzzle of a gun, he fell into a state of despair. he ceased to believe in anything, even in the possibility of deliverance, and betook himself to the opium dens of pessimism, in order at any rate to benumb his pain since there was no cure. schopenhauer became his friend and later on he found in hartmann the most brutal teller of truth which the world has seen. but society summoned him and demanded that he should enrol himself somewhere in its ranks. von bleichroden plunged into scientific study and chose one of the sciences which has the least to do with the present--geology, or rather that branch of it, palaeontology, which had to do with the animal and plant life of a past world. when he asked himself, "is this of any use to mankind?" he could only answer, "it is useful solely to myself, as a kind of opiate." he could never read a newspaper without feeling fanaticism rising up in him like incipient madness, and therefore he held everything which could remind him of his contemporaries and the present at arm's length. he began to hope that he would be able to spend his days in a dearly earned state of mental torpor, quietly and with his sanity preserved. then he married. he could not escape nature's inexorable law regarding the preservation of the species. in his wife he had sought to regain all those inner elements which he had succeeded in eliminating from himself, and she became his old emotional "ego," over which he rejoiced quietly without quitting his entrenchments. in her he found his complement, and he began to collect himself; but he felt also that his whole future life was based upon two corner-stones. one was his wife; if she gave way, he and his whole edifice would collapse. when only two months after their marriage he was torn from her side, he was no longer himself. he felt as though he had lost one eye, one lung and one arm, and therefore also he fell so quickly asunder when the blow struck him. at the sight of his daughter, a new element seemed to be introduced into what von bleichroden called his "natural soul" as distinguished from his "society soul," which was the product of education. he felt now that he was incorporated in the family, and that when he died he would not really die, but that his soul would continue to live in his child; he realised, in a word, that his soul was really immortal, even though his body perished in the strife between chemical elements. he felt himself all at once bound to live and to hope, though sometimes he was seized with despair when he heard his fellow-countrymen, in the natural intoxication of victory, ascribe the successful issue of the war to certain individuals, who, seated in their carriages, had contemplated the battle-field through their field-glasses. but then his pessimism seemed to him culpable, because he was hindering the development of the new epoch by a bad example, and he became an optimist from a sense of duty. he did not, however, venture to return home from fear of falling into despondency, but asked for his discharge, realised his small property, and settled down in switzerland. * * * * * it was a fine warm autumn evening in vevey in the year 1872. the clock in the little pension le cedre had given the signal for dinner by striking seven. round the large dinner-table were assembled the inmates of the pension, who were all mutually acquainted and lived on terms of intimacy, as those do who meet in a neutral country. herr von bleichroden and his wife had as their companions at the table the melancholy frenchman whom we have already seen in the hospital church, an english, two russians, a german and his wife, a spanish family, and two tyrolese ladies. conversation proceeded as usual, quietly and peacefully--sometimes falling into an almost emotional tone, at others touching on the most burning questions of the day, without however kindling a conflagration. "never did i believe that the earth could be so supernaturally beautiful as here," said herr von bleichroden, entranced with the view through the open veranda doors. "nature is beautiful elsewhere also," said the german, "but i believe our eyes were not healthy." "that is true," answered the englishman; "but it really is more beautiful here than anywhere else. have you never heard, gentlemen, how the barbarians felt (they were alemanni or hungarians, i think) when they emerged on the dent jaman and looked down on the lake of geneva? they thought that the sky had fallen down on the earth, and were so alarmed that they turned back again. the guide-book says so positively." "i believe," said one of the russians, "that it is the pure air, free from falsehood, which one breathes here which causes us to find everything so beautiful, although i will not deny that the beauties of nature have a reflex action upon our minds and prevent them being entangled in all our old prejudices. but only wait; when the heirs of the holy alliance are dead, when the highest trees have been truncated, our little plants also will flourish in clear sunshine." "you are right," said herr von bleichroden; "but we shall not need to truncate the trees. there are other, more humane ways of proceeding. there was once an author who had written a mediocre play the success of which depended on the way in which the principal female part was acted. he went to a _prima donna_ and asked if she would undertake the rôle. she gave an evasive reply. then he forgot himself so far as to remind her that, according to the rules of the theatre, she could be compelled to play the part. 'that is true,' she answered, 'but i can make difficulties.' we can also circumvent our chief opposing falsities. in england it is simply an affair of the budget. parliament cuts down the grant to royal personages, and they go their way. that is the method of legal reform. is it not, mr englishman?" "certainly!" answered the englishman. "our queen has the right to play croquet and tennis, but she cannot meddle in politics." "but the wars--the wars--will they never stop?" objected the spaniard. "when women get the vote, armies will be reduced," said herr von bleichroden. "isn't it so, wife?" his wife nodded assentingly. "for," continued he, "what mother will permit her son, what wife her husband, what sister her brother to go into these battles? and when there is no one to excite men against one another, then the so-called race-hatred will disappear. 'man is good but men are bad' said our friend jean jacques, and he was right. why are men more peaceful here in this beautiful country? why do they look more contented than elsewhere? because they have not daily and hourly these schoolmasters over them; they know that they themselves have settled who is to rule them; above all things they have so little to envy and so little to annoy them. no royal retinues, no military parades, no pompous spectacles which tempt a weak man to admire what is ostentatious but false. switzerland is the little miniature model after which the europe of the future will be built up." "you are an optimist, sir," said the spaniard. "yes," answered von bleichroden; "formerly a pessimist." "you believe then," continued the spaniard, "that what is possible in a little country like switzerland, with three million inhabitants and only three languages, is possible also for the whole of europe?" von bleichroden seemed to hesitate, when one of the tyrolese spoke. "pardon me," she said to the spaniard, "you doubt whether this is possible for europe with its six or seven languages. it is too bold an experiment, you think, to answer with so many nationalities. but suppose i were to show you a land with twenty nationalities, chinese, japanese, negroes, and representatives of all the nations of europe mingled--that would be the international kingdom of the future. well! i have seen it for i have been in--america." "bravo!" said the englishman. "our spanish friend is defeated." "and you, sir," continued the tyrolese, turning to the frenchman, "you mourn over alsace-lorraine, i see! you regard a war of _revanche_ as unavoidable, for you do not believe that alsace-lorraine can continue to remain german--you think the problem is insoluble." the frenchman sighed by way of assent. "well, when europe is one confederation of states, as herr von bleichroden calls switzerland, then alsace-lorraine will be neither french nor german but just simply alsace-lorraine. is the problem solved?" the frenchman lifted his glass politely and thanked her, bowing his head with a melancholy smile. "you smile," the courageous maiden resumed. "we have smiled all too long, the smile of despair and scepticism; let us cease doing so! you see most of the countries of europe represented among us here. among ourselves, where no cynic hears us, we can utter the thoughts of our hearts, but in parliament, in newspapers, and in books--there we are cowardly, there we dare not expose ourselves to ridicule, and so we swim with the stream. what, after all, is the use of being cynical? cynicism is the weapon of cowardice. one is anxious about one's heart. yes, it is disgusting to see one's entrails exposed at a shop door, but to see those of others lying on the battle-field, while music and a rain of flowers await the returning conquerors--that is splendid! voltaire was cynical, because he was still anxious about his heart, while rousseau vivisected himself, tore his heart out of his breast, and held it against the sun, as the old aztec priests did when they sacrificed--yes, there was method in their madness. and who has changed human kind--who told us that we were all wrong? rousseau! geneva yonder burnt his books, but modern geneva has raised a memorial to him. what each of us here thinks privately, all think privately. give us only freedom to say it aloud!" the russians raised their black tea-glasses and vociferated words in their language which only they understood. the englishman filled his glass and was about to propose a toast, when the servant-maid came in and handed him a telegram. the conversation stopped for a moment; the englishman read the telegram with visible emotion, folded it up, placed it in his pocket, and sank in thought. herr von bleichroden sat silent, absorbed in contemplation of the beautiful landscape outside. the mont grammont and the dent d'oche were lit up by the afterglow of the descended sun, which also dyed red the vineyards and chestnut-groves on the savoy shore; the alps glimmered in the damp evening air, and seemed as unsubstantial as the lights and shades; they stood there like disembodied powers of nature, dark and terrible on their reverse side, threatening and gloomy in their hollows, but on their sun-fronting sides, bright, smiling and joyful. von bleichroden thought of the concluding words of the tyrolese, and fancied he saw in mont grammont a colossal heart with its apex looking towards the sky--the wounded, scarred, bleeding heart of humanity which turned itself towards the sun in a concentrated ardour of sacrifice, prepared to give all, its best and its dearest, in order to receive all. then the dark, steel-blue evening sky was cut through by a streak of light, and above the low-lying savoy shore there rose a rocket of enormous size. it rose high, apparently as high as the dent d'oche; it hung suspended as though it were looking round on the beautiful earth outspread beneath it before it burst. thus it hesitated for a few seconds and then began the descent; but it had not gone many yards before it exploded with a report which took two minutes to reach vevey. then there spread out something like a white cloud which assumed a four-cornered rectangular shape, a flag of white fire; a moment after there was another report, and on the white flag appeared a red cross. all the party sprang up and hastened into the veranda. "what does that mean?" exclaimed herr von bleichroden, startled. no one could or would answer, for now there rose a whole volley of rockets as if discharged from a crater over the peaks of the voirons, and scattered a shower of fire which was reflected in the gigantic mirror of the lake. "ladies and gentlemen!" said the englishman, raising his voice, while a waiter placed a tray with filled champagne glasses on the table. "ladies and gentlemen!" he repeated, "this means, according to the telegram which i have just received, that the first international tribunal at geneva has finished its work; this means that a war between two nations, or what would have been worse--a war against the future, has been prevented; that a hundred thousand americans and as many englishmen have to thank this day that they are alive. the alabama question has been settled not to the advantage of america, but of justice, not to the injury of england, but for the good of future generations. does our spanish friend still believe that wars are unavoidable? when our french friend smiles again, let him smile with the heart and not with the lips only. and you, my german pessimist friend, do you believe now that the franc-tireur question can be settled without franc-tireurs and fusillades, but also only in this way? and you, russian gentlemen, whom i do not know personally, do you think your modern method of forestry by truncating trees is the only correct one? do you not think it is better to go to the roots? it is certainly a safer and quieter way. to-day, as an englishman, i ought to feel depressed, but i feel proud on account of my country, as an englishman always does, you know; but to-day i have a right to be so, for england is the first european power which has appealed to the verdict of honourable men, instead of to blood and iron. and i wish you all many such defeats as we have had to-day, for that will teach us to be victorious. raise your glasses, ladies and gentlemen, for the red cross, for in this sign we will certainly conquer." * * * * * herr von bleichroden remained in switzerland. he could not tear himself away from this wonderful scenery which had led him into another world more beautiful than that which he had left behind. occasionally he had attacks of conscience, but this his doctor ascribed to a nervousness which is only too common among cultivated people at the present time. he resolved to elucidate the problem of conscience in a little pamphlet which he proposed to publish. he had read it to his friends and it contained some remarkable passages. with his german gift of penetration, he had reached the heart of the matter, and discovered that there are two kinds of conscience; first the natural, and second the artificial. the first conscience, he maintained, was the natural feeling of right. that was the conscience which had weighed on him so heavily when he had the franc-tireurs shot. he could only free himself from this by regarding himself persistently as a victim of the upper classes. the artificial conscience again originated in the power of habit and the authority of the upper classes. the power of habit rested so heavily on herr von bleichroden that sometimes when he went for a walk before noon he felt as though he had neglected his work in the geological bureau, and became uneasy and restless, like a boy who has played truant from school. he took incredible pains to exculpate himself by the consideration that he had obtained lawful leave of absence. but then he remembered vividly his room in the geological department, his colleagues who kept a keen watch on each other in order to discover a slip on another's part which might lead to their own advancement; and the heads of the department anxiously on the look-out for orders and distinction. he felt then as though he had absconded from it all. sometimes too he was attacked by the official conscience which the authority of the upper classes imposes on a man. he found it hard to obey the first commandment--to love one's king and fatherland. the king had plunged his fatherland into the misery of war in order to obtain a new fatherland for a relative, i.e. to make a spaniard out of a prussian. had the king shown love to his fatherland in this? had kings, generally speaking, loved their fatherland? england was ruled by a hanoverian, russia was governed by a german czar and would soon receive a danish empress, germany had an english crown-princess, france a spanish empress, sweden a french king and a german queen. if, following such high examples, people changed their nationality like a coat, herr von bleichroden believed that cosmopolitanism would have a brilliant future. but the commands of the authorities, which did not accord with their practice, worried him. he loved his country as a cat loves her warm place by the fire; but he did not love it as an institution. sovereigns find nations necessary to provide them with conscript armies, as tax-payers and as supporters of the throne, for without nations there would not be any royal houses. after herr von bleichroden had resided two and a half years in switzerland, he received one day a summons from berlin, for there were rumours of war in circulation. this time it was prussia against russia--the same russia which three years previously had lent prussia its "moral support" against france. he did not think it conscientious to march against his friends, and since he was quite sure that the two nations wished each other no ill, he asked his wife's advice what he should do in such a new dilemma, for he knew by experience that woman's conscience is nearer the natural law of right than man's. after a moment's reflection, she answered "to be a german is more than to be a prussian--that is why the german confederation was formed; to be a european is more than to be a german; to be a man is more than to be a european. you cannot change your nation, for all 'nations' are enemies, and one does not go over to the enemy unless one is a monarch like bernadotte or a field-marshal like von moltke. the only thing left is to neutralise yourself. let us become swiss. switzerland is not a nation." herr von bleichroden considered this such a happy and simple solution of the difficulty that he at once set about making inquiries how he could be neutralised. his surprise and delight can be imagined when he found that he had already fulfilled all the conditions required to become a swiss citizen (for there are no underlings in that land!) as he had resided two years there. herr von bleichroden is now neutralised, and although he is very happy he occasionally, though more seldom than before, has conflicts with his conscience. over-refinement sten ulffot, a youth of twenty years, the last scion of the ancient family of ulffot, who possessed property in wäringe, hofsta and löfsala, awoke one sunny may morning towards the end of the year 1460 in his bedroom at hofsta in upland. after some hours of dreamless sleep his rested brain began to review the events of the previous day, which had been of such decisive importance for him that, still benumbed by the blow, be stood as it were outside the whole affair and regarded it with wonder. the bailiff and sheriff's officer had been there, had shown mortgage-deeds of the house and estate, had read various parchment documents, and the upshot of it all was that sten, because of his father's and his own debts, was reduced to abject poverty. and since his father in his lifetime had not been a merciful man, the young man must leave the old house, which was no longer his, the very next day. sten, who had never taken life seriously, for the simple reason that life had always been an easy matter for him, took this also very easily. poverty for him was simply an uttered word which as yet lacked any corresponding reality. with a light heart he sprang out of bed, and put on his only but handsome velvet jacket and his only pair of breeches of brabant cloth. he counted his few gold coins, and hid them carefully in his bosom, for he had now caught some idea of their importance. then he went into the castle-room, which was quite empty. the only impression this spacious room made on him was that he could breathe more easily in it. upon a table fastened to the wall were to be seen damp rings--the traces left by the tankards of beer which the two functionaries had used the day before; it occurred to him that there would have been more rings if he had been with them himself--it looked so stingy! the sun threw the reflections of the painted windows on the floor, so that they resembled beautiful mosaic work. his coat of arms, the wolf's foot on a red ground, was repeated six times; he amused himself by treading on the black foot, expecting to hear the wolf howl, but every time he did so the reflection of the wolf's foot merely lay on his yellow leather boots. when he took a step forward the reflection of the foot flew up to his breast and on his white jacket the red shield lay like a bleeding heart torn by the black paw with its outspread claws. he felt his heart beat violently and left the room. he climbed the narrow stone stairs to the upper story, which his parents had occupied in their lifetime. there every possible movable which makes a house into a home for living beings had been swept off and carried away. the rooms looked like a series of burial chambers, hewn out of one rock, intended for souls without bodies and without corporeal needs. but signs of the life which had been there were still remaining. two grey spots on the floor showed where a bed had stood; there were two dark lines where the table had been', and between them were marks and scratches left by boots; a dark, irregular stain on the white-washed wall showed where his father had been accustomed to rest his head when he raised it from his work which lay on the table. some coals from the fire-place had fallen into the room and left dark spots on the floor like those on a panther-skin. in his mother's room was a stone image of the virgin and child fixed to the wall; she regarded her son with a look full of hope and without any foreboding that she held a future condemned prisoner upon her knees. young sten felt a vague depression and went on. through a secret door he mounted up into the attic and went out upon the roof. underneath him he saw the whole wide-stretching expanse of land which till lately he had called his own: these green fields which once formed the bottom of the sea, surrounded by small green hills once islands, but lately wore their verdure on his account--to support the poor who clothed him, brushed him, prepared his food, and tended his horses, his hounds, his falcons and his cattle. in the previous autumn he had stood here and watched them sow his corn; now others would come and cut and gather it in. a little while ago it was his to decide when the fishes in the streams should die, when the firs in the wood should be felled, and when the game should be shot. even the birds in this huge space of air belonged to him, although they had flown hither from the realm of the emperor of austria. he could not yet grasp the fact that he possessed nothing more of all this, for he had never missed anything and therefore did not know what possession was; he only felt a huge emptiness and thought that the landscape had a melancholy look. the swallows which had come that very day flew screaming about him and sought their old nests in the eaves; some found them, and others did not--the rains of autumn and snows of winter had destroyed their little clay dwellings so that they had fallen into the castle-moat. but there was clay in the fields, water in the brooks and straw on every hillock; as long as they were homeless they could find shelter in every grove and under the thatch of every cottage. they hunted without hindrance in their airy hunting grounds; they paired and wedded in the blue spring weather which was full of the sweet scents of the newly sprung birches, the honey-perfumed catkins of the osiers, and all the invisible burgeonings of the spring. he went farther up on the roof and stood by the pole that supported the dog-vane. as he looked up to the white clouds of spring sailing by, it seemed to him as though he stood on the aerial ship of a fairy-tale and were sailing among the clouds, and when he looked down on the earth again it appeared like a collection of mole-hills, a mere rubbish-heap cast out of heaven. but he had a foreboding that he must go down and dig in the mole-hills in order to find a living; he felt that his feet stood firm upon the earth, although his glances wandered at will among the silver-gleaming clouds. as he descended the narrow attic stairs it seemed to him as though an enormous gimlet were screwing him deeper and deeper into the earth. he entered the garden and looked at the apple trees in blossom. who would pluck the fruits of these trees which he had cultivated and tended for years? he looked at the empty stable; all his horses were gone except a sorry nag, which he had never thought worth riding. he went into the dog-house and saw only ten empty leash-straps. then his heart grew heavy, for he felt that he had been parted from the only living creatures who loved him. all others--friends, servants, farm-hands, tenants--had, as his poverty increased, gradually changed their demeanour, but these ten had always remained the same. he was astonished that he did not feel the blank so bitterly up there in the ancestral castle with its memories, for he forgot that _that_ sense of loss had long been obliterated by his tears. he went into the courtyard of the castle. there a sight met his eyes which made him realise his true situation. on a four-wheeled wagon, to which three pairs of oxen were yoked, lay a heap of furniture and household utensils; beneath all lay the great oak bedstead splendidly carved, mighty clothes and linen chests constructed like fortresses against thieves, his father's work-table, the family dining-table, the chairs from the sitting-room with fragments of torn-down, gaudy-coloured curtains, his mother's embroidery-frame, his grandfather's chair with the cushioned arms and the high back, and on the top of all his own cradle and the praying stool at which his mother had so often prayed for her little one. beside them were bundles of lances, swords, and shields with which his forefathers had once acquired and defended these goods which he must now leave behind in order to go out into the world and earn his bread in the sweat of his brow. all these dead things which, when in their places, had formed parts of his own self lay there like corpses and up-torn trees showing their roots; it was an enormous funeral pile of memories, which he would have liked to set fire to. just then the gates grated on their hinges, the drawbridge was lowered, the driver cracked his whip over the first pair of oxen, the ropes and shafts of the cart creaked, and the heavily laden vehicle rattled away on the stone-paved courtyard. as it rolled over the planks of the wooden, bridge, there was a rumbling like the echo from a grave-vault. "the last load?" called the driver to the gate-keeper. "the last," came the answer from the vaulted gateway. the word "last" made a deep impression on sten, who felt himself to be the last of his race, but he could not indulge in further reflections, for a man whom he did not know stepped towards him holding the nag. "the castle is to be shut up," he said. "why shut up?" asked sten, merely to hear his own voice again. "because it is to be pulled down. the king does not wish to have so many castles in the land." sten laid hold of the reins and mounted the nag; he pressed it with his knees, and holding his head high, rode through the arched gateway. there he took out his purse and threw a piece of gold behind him, which the gate-keeper and the stable-man raced for. when he had ridden over the drawbridge, he reined in his horse till the cart with its load had disappeared from sight. then he turned up a narrow path and vanished among the birch trees. "i wonder what he will do?" said the gate-keeper. "enlist," answered the stable-man. "no, he is no good at that; he has learnt nothing but reading and writing." "then he will become one of the king's secretaries." "not _this_ king's; his father was in disfavour for refusing to bear arms against his fellow-countrymen." "then let him become what the devil he likes." "one cannot become what one likes, one must become what one can; and if one can do nothing, one becomes nothing." "just so it is! just so! but i don't know what one has to learn in order to become a gate-keeper." "well, one must be strong enough for it, and keep awake at night; and that the young gentleman cannot do." "yes, he can keep awake at night, for we have seen him do it; but perhaps he is not strong enough to draw the heavy chain." "well, stable-man, he must look after himself. meanwhile i will draw up the bridge, and then we can go the backway to the tavern, and change our piece of gold, and he can do what he likes!" "what he can, gate-keeper; one cannot do what one likes." "quite true! quite true!" the chain rattled, the bridge was drawn up, and the gate fell to with a dull crash. * * * * * sten meantime had ridden for several hours without exactly knowing whither. he only knew that the way led him out into the world, far from the protection of home. he saw by the sun's position that it was nearly afternoon, and by the nag's drooping head that it was tired; he therefore dismounted, tied the reins loosely round one of the horse's forelegs and led him up from the path to a fine upland meadow where he left him loose to graze. then he lay down under a wild apple tree to rest, but since he felt that the ground was damp, he broke down some young birches and made a bed out of their soft leaves; he also tore off some long strips of bark and placed them under his head, knees and elbows; then he went to sleep. but when he awoke he felt terrible pangs of hunger, for he had eaten nothing during the last twenty-four hours; he felt his tongue cleaving to his palate and a burning and tickling feeling in his throat. the horse had disappeared. he did not know where he was, could not see a human habitation, and had small hope of finding an inn before nightfall. then he fell on his knees and prayed his patron-saint to help him. as he mentioned the name "st blasius" it occurred to him how the saint under similar circumstances had sustained himself on roots and berries in the desert. strengthened by prayer, he looked round to see what there was to eat and drink. his eye first fell on a birch. it was just the time of year when the sap flows. with his knife he split off a piece of bark and fastened the corners together with wood splinters so that it formed a water-tight basket; then he bored a hole in the tree and from the hard wood trickled out the clear sap resembling rhine wine in colour. while it was trickling, he climbed into the apple tree, where he had seen a large number of apples, which had hung there all the winter and were certainly rotten but could at any rate fill his stomach. when he had eaten some of them he began to shake the tree, so that the apples fell on the ground. he was just on the point of rejoicing at his discovery and looking forward to drink the good birch wine when he heard a harsh voice calling from below; "hullo, sir thief! what are you doing there?" "i am no thief," answered sten. "he who steals is a thief," answered the voice. "come down at once, or you will spend the night in gaol." sten thought it belter to descend and try to explain himself. he found himself before a man of authoritative appearance, who was accompanied by a large dog. "in the first place," said the man, "you have committed an outrage on a fruit-bearing tree; punishment--three marks and forfeiture of the axe--chapter seventeen of the forest laws." "i thought one had a right to plunder wild trees," said sten in a shamefaced way, for he had never been addressed in this manner. "there are no wild trees now, though it was certainly so in adam and eve's time. besides, i was purposely keeping the apples to flavour cabbages with. secondly, you have cut and extracted the sap from my fine carriage-pole." "carriage-pole?" "yes, i intended to make a carriage-pole of the birch tree. then you have peeled off birch bark in a wood that did not belong to you; fine --three shillings, according to the same chapter in king christopher's land-law." "i thought i was in god's free world and had a right to support my life," answered sten mildly. "god's free world? where is that? i only know tax-free land, land that is assessed, and crown lands. thirdly, probably--i have no testimony to that effect, but probably it is your horse which is feeding in my meadow?" "it is my horse, and i suppose it could not die of hunger while the grass was growing round it." "no one need die of hunger. any animal can graze by the way-side, everyone can pluck a handful of nuts, and every traveller can cut an axle for his wheel when necessary. you are therefore convicted of fourfold robbery, and i keep the horse." "and leave me alone in the wood, where perhaps i cannot even kindle a fire for the night." "whoever cuts dry wood on other people's land is liable to a fine of three shillings each time. if it were not so, one could never be sure of possessing anything." "it never was so on my property. there we knew nothing of such laws and paragraphs, and my manorial rights were never so niggardly as yours." here a great alteration took place in the bearing of the man of authority. he took the horse by the rein, led it to sten, held the stirrup for him, bent one of his knees, and said: "sir, pardon me, i see you have ridden out for recreation and jest with an old law-student. a few mouldy apples, i hope, will not make any trouble between us." sten, who was a lover of sincerity, hesitated a moment before putting his foot into the proffered stirrup, but as he was glad to be safely out of the difficulty, he swung himself up on his saddle. "listen," he said in an authoritative tone, "where is the nearest inn?" "half a mile southwards, if your lordship is going to stockholm." "good! now i thank you for the amusement, and put a small question to you. tell me: if one steals out of necessity, then it is theft; and if one steals to amuse oneself, what is that?" "a joke." "good. but how is the judge to know whether it is a joke or earnest?" "oh, he can tell!" sten pressed his nag's sides with his legs, bent forward, and said: "no, friend, he cannot." the nag shot away like an arrow from the astonished law-student and his carriage-pole. the prospect of soon obtaining a meal, and the fortunate conclusion of his adventure, had set sten in a mood which banished gloomy reflections. after a half-hour's trot he rode through the gate of the inn, and was received like a gentleman of high rank. he sat down at a table under a great hawthorn tree outside the house, and ordered a fowl with sage stuffing and a jug of travener beer. these the host promised to get even if he had to run round the whole village for them. the may evening was fine, and sten ate and drank at his ease, though he could not completely banish the alarm which the threatening attack of hunger had just caused him. he could not get the scene with the law-student out of his thoughts, and he felt that soon, when his fine velvet jacket no more protected him, he would come under the hard laws of necessity like any other ordinary man. he perceived that he must certainly become a working member of human society, and join one of its numerous classes if he wished to continue to live. the earth, with all the products that she bore, was already fully occupied, so that one of the lords of creation might lie on the ground and die of hunger under a fruit-bearing tree if he did not wish to be hung, while the birds of the air might eat their fill with impunity off the same tree. he wondered that men let squirrels and jays plunder hazel bushes, and preserve their freedom, while only in case of absolute need was a man allowed to save his life with a handful of nuts. it seemed to him a cruel contradiction; he might save his life, but not support it, and every meal was as it were a recurrent saving of life. but on the other hand his forefathers had founded these laws and he had himself employed them. who then was the proper object of his reproach? was not the fault partly his own, and were not the consequences quite natural? while he was thus meditating, his eyes were fixed upon a figure which was approaching the garden of the inn from the highway. as it came nearer, sten saw a man of about thirty with a dark complexion, long arms, and knees and feet curving inwards as though he were afflicted with spavin. over his shoulder he carried a sack, and in his hand a knotted stick. with a jerk he flung the sack on the table close to sten, sat down and struck on the table with the stick so sharply that it sounded like a pistol-shot. at the same time he called into the house, "come out, mr innkeeper, and give a worthy member of the worshipful company of blacksmiths in stockholm a jug of beer." the innkeeper, who thought that some important person had come, hastened out, but when he saw the fellow he turned round and said to sten in a disdainful tone: "these fellows never have money. i will give him nothing." "by st michael, the archangel and st loyus, innkeeper, if you don't give me beer i will set my mark upon you," broke in the man, and lifted his stick. "if you threaten, you will be hung for compelling hospitality," said the innkeeper; "you did not pay the last time you were here, so pick up your sack and take yourself off, for the clerk of assize is sitting inside." "i will pay for his beer, innkeeper," interrupted sten, who felt a certain sympathy with the unmasked braggart. "the gentleman is kind and understands a traveller's needs. as regards payment, i think it is all the same who pays. to-day it is my turn, to-morrow yours. in good company i never say 'no.' and a member of the worshipful company of blacksmiths at stockholm can be as good a gentleman as any other, or any traveller, with your permission." "you are right, sir; all things considered, we are all travellers, and when we travel we are all alike." the blacksmith, who had received his jug of beer, lifted it, took his cap off, and said in a solemn voice, "saint michael and saint loyus!" then he threw back his head and took some tremendously deep draughts of the beer, so that the muscles of his neck moved like the backs of snakes. then he collected his breath, raised the jug once more and said, "pledge me a toast, sir, with your permission." then he drank for some minutes so that his neck sinews were strained like harness-straps. when he had finished, he emptied out the last drops, struck the table with his stick, and called into the house, "two full jugs! now i am the inviter." "and the young gentleman pays?" asked the host. sten nodded assent, and the blacksmith continued, "it is all the same who pays. '_commune bonum_,' as we say in the shop. to-day it is my turn, to-morrow yours." "sit down, sir, and let us talk," said sten. "you are a blacksmith, i hear." "banner-bearer to the worshipful company of blacksmiths in stockholm, thanks to st michael and st loyus, with your permission!" "tell me, is your trade hard?" "hard! well, it is not for anyone. it is the hardest work there is. it is a trade which the world cannot dispense with. no one can get on without a blacksmith. believe me when i say it. the emperor of rome had a councillor whose name was vulcant and it was he who invented the blacksmith's art. and you ask if it is difficult!" "yes, but one could learn it," said sten, who felt more amused than convinced. "learn it? no, sir, one cannot." "but you have learnt it," insisted sten. "i! with me it is another matter," answered the blacksmith, contemplating the bottom of his mug. "well, why cannot it be another matter with me also?" objected sten. "show me your fists, if you please, sir." sten laid two small white hands on the table. the smith grinned. "they are no use. look at mine." he took the pewter pot in a giant's grasp and squeezed it till it became as slender as an hour-glass. sten was still not convinced. "but you were not born with such fists," he said. "yes, sir, i was. i was born to be a blacksmith, just as you were born--to do nothing, if you will allow me to say so. what do you expect to do in the world with such mere pegs? you had better not depend on them or you will be disappointed." "and yet i am thinking of becoming a blacksmith," said sten innocently. "you must not make a jest of that worshipful fraternity, sir. besides, i should like to say that the times are different to what they were formerly; a blacksmith may become mayor or councillor, and sir vulcan, whom i mentioned just now, was one of the emperor of austria's councillors. one should not be proud, even if one is of high birth. king karl knutsson was king one day and the next day he was nothing. if he had learnt something, he would have been something." "that is just what i wanted to say, dear smith. and i may as well say that i am not a gentleman though i have a velvet jacket." "is it a disguise? aren't you a real gentleman?" "i have been one, but now i am nothing." the blacksmith drew up the corners of his mouth, came nearer, surveyed sten and continued: "come down in the world? what! downhill? eh! hard times! when thieves fall out, honest folk come by their own. yes, yes. no relations. no fine friends. alone in the world. obliged to work. and now you want to become a blacksmith, when you can't be anything else." "if i can become one." "no, you can become nothing. that is less than you are, claus. (my name is claus.) now you can be proud, claus. but i am not proud, and therefore i invite you again to the jug of beer to which i invited you just now. was the fowl there good; it looks to me lean." claus made a movement as though he were chewing something tough. sten answered: "the fowl was fat enough; will you have some?" "if i can be quite sure that it is good; otherwise i don't care about it, for if i spend money i want to have something really good for it." sten ordered a fowl and fresh jugs of beer, and recommenced the conversation. "i hope you will recommend me to your guild or company." "i will see what i can do, but one has to proceed warily with those gentlemen. congratulate yourself that you have made acquaintance with the banner-bearer of the guild, for he is a powerful gentleman, although he goes round with a sack when he is on his journeys." sten, who was not accustomed to so much beer, at any rate of the sort which was served here, began to feel sleepy and rose up in order to go to his bedroom. but claus could by no means he induced to agree to this. "no, stay sitting, my dear," he said, "and drink a glass of wine with me. it is such a fine evening and you have not far to go to tied. if you get sleepy, i will carry you up the stairs." but sten could not possibly drink any more. claus was annoyed and asked if he refused to drink with the guild's banner-bearer. sten asked to be excused, but claus would not consent. he said that sten was proud, and should take care, for pride was always punished. sten was so sleepy that he could hardly understand what was said, and clambered up the stairs to the attic where in the darkness he sought for a cushion, on which he fell asleep at once. he had, as he thought, slept for quite twenty-four hours when he felt a burning sensation as though sparks of fire had fallen on his face. he sat up and found that the whole room was full of the hateful humming of a swarm of gnats which had gained admission. when he had somewhat shaken off his sleep, he could distinguish men's voices, and loudest among them the deep voice of his friend claus. "oh, he is a devilish fine fellow. his father and i are very old friends. he has been a little spoilt by wearing fine clothes and so on, but we will soon drive it out of him. innkeeper, more claret! yes, you see his father was in my debt, and i waited. take what you like, parish-clerk!" sten sprang up and saw through a chink in the wall how claus sat at the end of the table and carried on a conversation with the innkeeper and a stranger, who was probably the parish-clerk. the table was covered with jugs and pots, and the party did not seem to have suffered from thirst. the parish-clerk, who thought that the smith had talked long enough, now led the conversation. "listen, claus; you say that he is nothing, that he has no occupation and no money. do you know what one calls such a gentleman?" "no, no." "well, one calls him a tramp. and do you know what the law says about vagabond tramps?" "no, no." "it says that whoever chooses may take such a tramp by the collar and put him in gaol. and that is right, thoroughly right. god, you see, from the beginning, has created men to work, do service, and make themselves useful----" "or to be rich," interrupted the innkeeper. "hush! don't interrupt me--to make themselves useful in one way or another. suppose," continued he, "that there are men who will not work; suppose that there are people who prefer to live at the expense of other people----" claus gave him a sharp look and seized his stick. but after taking a drink, the parish-clerk continued: "then i ask--what is one to do with such people? can anyone answer me?" the innkeeper was about to answer, but the parish-clerk motioned him away with his left hand. "can anyone answer this? no, i say, for we know in part and prophesy in part. _cur tuus benevolentium_." he finished his mug and got up in order not to spoil the effect of his speech by a bad translation of the latin. sten lay down again and put his head under his pillow. it seemed to him that he had slept another four-and-twenty hours when he was aroused by a foot pushing his bed very emphatically. he sat up and saw by the light of the dawn, which fell through a crevice in the wall, that his friend claus, who apparently did not venture to stoop, stood on one foot, and laying hold of a beam was feeling in the bed with his foot for his sleeping friend. he accompanied this search with short exclamations--"you! you!" when he caught sight of sten's face in the dim light he drew his foot back and said: "do you know what you are, you? do you know that you are a tramp? do you know that you will be put into gaol if you do not eat someone else's bread, seeing you have none of your own. i tell you the sheriff is after you, and if you are not off by sunrise you will be imprisoned. do you understand?" sten understood that there was a very good chance of it, as he had already overheard their talk; but he did not understand that one could not go one's own way to seek work, and claus exerted himself in vain in order to explain to him that one must have work or be the possessor of such and such a sum. sten, who feared imprisonment most of all, let himself be easily persuaded to take his horse out of the stable and to hand over some of his gold coins to claus, who promised to settle with the innkeeper. the latter was quite willing, for he himself was liable to no less a punishment for having given lodging to a tramp. sten shook the good blacksmith's hand, and promised to look him up in stockholm. now he rode again on his horse, shaken out of his sleep, chased out of a casual lodging, flying from the danger of imprisonment, and firmly resolved to seek no other shelter till he reached the capital. two days later, on a saturday afternoon, sten reined in his horse on the top of the brunkebergsasen ridge, on the side where it descends towards the norrstrom river. beneath him he saw for the first time the capital, the battle-field whereon struggles for power were waged. on these little rocky islands between the two water-courses, closely encircled by towers and walls, lived the population among whom he wished to enrol himself. the battle between king karl knutsson and archbishop jöns bengtsson was at its height, but to sten it was a matter of indifference who won, for his father had fallen into disfavour with the king, and his family had an old feud with the archbishop. as the evening sun cast its horizontal rays on the flag which waved from the chief tower of the castle, he saw the arms of the bondes--the boat against a white background--and knew how the land lay. although peace seemed to have been concluded for the time, the difficulty of entering the city gate was not less than before. he would in any case be obliged to give his name and to be registered, and perhaps have to say why he came and where he came from. in his tired mood he fancied he saw a thousand difficulties rise and the walls growing in height till they appeared insurmountable. he felt like a besieger who was thinking of a stratagem by means of which to enter the city. it was there he hoped to find the only place where he could earn his bread by means of the book-learning which he had acquired. as he was sitting on the hill, lost in these serious meditations, he heard from the foot of it a sound of merry voices mingled with the music of trumpets and flutes. at the angle of the walls before the klara convent issued forth a gay stream of folk, disappearing and reappearing from behind the kitchen-gardens on the slope of the bill. the procession drew nearer. at its head rode a youth, with a garland on his brow and a long spear-shaft wreathed with green in his hand. he was followed by pipers and trumpeters with gooseberry leaves in their caps; after him came a whole crowd of people with black cloth masks and red wooden masks, dressed in the most fantastic garb after greek and roman patterns; last of all, riding backwards on a sorry jade, a youth dressed in fur, with loosely streaming hair and beard, to represent winter. it was the procession of the "may-lord," greeting the advent of spring in the klara district. sten seized the opportunity by the forelock, rode down the hill, and joined the procession. he passed through the gateway without being interfered with, although he thought he saw a pair of sharp eyes fastened on him under the archway itself. meanwhile he could not help thinking how the guard's over-hasty inference "cheerful people are not dangerous"--had been of use to him, who felt anything but cheerful. he felt easier in mind when he had passed through the gates of both the bridges. the procession halted in the great market-place, where it broke up in order to reassemble in the restaurant of the town hall. this had received special permission to remain open all night, since the postponed may festival was being celebrated now because of the late spring and the king's victory. sten took up his quarters at an inn in the dominicans' street, which bore an image of st laurence painted on its signboard. when his horse had been placed in the stable he was shown up to the sleeping chamber. there he found a great number of beds without any chairs, and as the evening seemed too beautiful to remain indoors, he went out into the city in order to take a bath. when he came out into the street again, he became somewhat depressed at seeing the narrow passages, called "streets," in which pale-faced people walked, breathing unwholesome air and treading in the dirt and kitchen offal thrown out of the doorways. the crowd kept streaming to and fro, and he wondered that they never came to an end nor seemed weary. the street itself, which was paved with rough cobbles, was difficult to walk on, and he did not understand why men should have gathered together these instruments of torture to make the way more stony than it naturally was. of the sky there was only a grey strip to be seen between the rows of houses, and the high corbel-step gables rose like jacob's-ladders, on which souls sought in vain to rise to the heights from their dark, evil-smelling dungeons. he felt confused and astray. at one moment he was jostled by a porter, at another trod on by a horse; then he knocked his head against a window-board. all these people had crowded together on a little island and built on each other like bees in a honeycomb. why? for mutual aid? he did not believe it. after inquiring his way to the public baths in the allmännings gata, he felt a keen desire to free himself by a bath from the sensation of uncleanness which even the air he breathed oppressed him with. in the undressing-room which was shared by all, he found a great number of people of all classes, for it was saturday evening. in the uncertain light he could not see them distinctly, but the pungent odour of perspiration exhaling from their bodies after severe physical labour, made him shudder. he undressed, put on bathing-drawers, and entered the bathroom. in the midst of it stood an enormous walled fire-place in which a great fire was burning; round it, up to the roof, ran wooden galleries where men sat--some beating each other with rods, others drinking beer. great stalwart women with tucked-up skirts poured jugs of water on the fire-place, which at once sent out clouds of steam. these the bathers allowed to envelop them, amid loud shrieks and laughter. one caught glimpses of naked bodies, matted beards and shining eyes. and what bodies! they seemed to sten like a number of wild beasts with hairy breasts and limbs who did not need clothing, and those who, while they waited for their bath, danced before the fire reminded him of fairy-tales of distant lands where men walked with their heads under their arms and with one eye in their foreheads. he could not make up his mind to address any of them, though they were human beings like himself, but with a difference. they did not talk like him; they did not laugh like him; they were not shaped like him. the bones of their backs looked like the letter x, and their feet were turned inwards so that the toes met; nightwork and heat had rendered their faces emaciated. was it through willing sacrifice for their fellow-men that they made themselves cripples, or were they compelled by necessity to do so? these smiths with shoulder-blades like knapsacks, with arms as long as the helve of a sledge-hammer, with the soles of their feet flattened and distorted; these tailors with thin chests, crooked legs as slender as sticks, and bent backs--were they conscious that their deformity set off the handsome appearance of others? for a moment his aesthetic sense was offended and he wished to go, but he was restrained by the thought that he must also soon perhaps undergo some similar deformity in order to perform his duty in this society into which he was now forced to enter as a retribution for his ancestors' mistake in withdrawing him from the lot which all were born to share. but the peasants, fishermen, and huntsmen he had formerly known, did not look like these! the former were like the trees of the wood, straight though knotted. here in the working life of the town some mistake had been made, but he could not say what. he shyly approached one of the giantesses and asked if he could have a water bath. the old woman looked at his white skin and his small hands and pushed him into a smaller room, where some empty bath-tubs stood on the ground. "he is certainly a fine gentleman's son," she said, regarding him critically. "he has evidently come to the wrong place, but that does not matter." she laid the youth in the bath as though he were a child, and began to rub his skin with a horsehair brush. "no! that will make holes in his skin, one can see. yes, men are so different from each other. a foot like a girl's; one can see how the blood runs in the veins. i am sure that these fine folk have not the same blood as we. and such hands! pure as those of st john which they have made of wax in our lady's chapel. they are not made to lay hold of with." when the bath was ended, the old woman set sten on a stool and dried him carefully, as though she were afraid of breaking one of his limbs. then she took a comb and began to do his fair hair, talking to herself the while. "pure silk and gold! one might weave a mass-robe for the bishop from this hair!" then a gnat flew in through the window-opening and settled on sten's bare shoulder; it had not long to look in order to find a place into which to sink its sting, for his skin was milk-white and soft after the warm bath. the old woman stopped in her task, and observed almost with alarm how the uninvited parasite bled the fine gentleman; she saw how the gnat's transparent body filled itself with clear red blood, and how it lifted its front leg as if to seize its prey firmly. then the giantess seized with the tips of her nails the little blood-letter by its wings and held it against the light. "what is that?" asked sten, and made a movement. the old woman was too deep in her contemplation to answer at once. at last she said, "ob, it was a gnat!" "which has got noble blood in its vein," broke in sten. "now do you think, old woman, that it is better than the other gnats?" "that one cannot exactly know," said the giantess, still examining her captive. "blood is thicker than water. i have seen many gnats in my time, but this one is something unusual. i should like to let it live." "and to see how it would give itself airs over the other gnats. you would like to see it propagate young lord and lady gnats who would sit on silk and let themselves be fed by others. no, you shall see that it is just as plebeian as all the others, and that it has the same blood as you and can die as easily as its companion gnats outside." he struck the old woman's finger with his hand, and there appeared only a bright red spot of blood upon it. "now was it not as i said?" she exclaimed. "it is as bright as red gold." "that is because it is thinner," said sten, "therefore it will soon be like pure water; and therefore you see the nobles will die and the serfs will live." the conversation was over and sten rose up, thanked his attendant, and went into the great bathroom where the noise was deafening owing to the beer and the heat combined. he hastened by the bathers into the undressing-room, where he found his clothes with difficulty under piles of leather trousers, smocks, and vests. when he came out into the street he directed his steps through the merchants' gate to the great market. there he saw the town hall lit up; the great door which led to the underground restaurant was decorated with fir branches, weapons and flags. he descended the broad staircase, attracted by the music of violins, flutes, and trumpets. although he did not think it reasonable that men should collect to enjoy themselves underground, when the earth itself was so spacious and beautiful, yet he felt bound to confess that the restaurant of the town hall presented an imposing appearance with its huge pillars which this evening were decked with garlands of fir twigs and bunches of liver-wort, anemones and cowslips. enormous beer and wine barrels, arranged in rows, formed three great alleys running from the tap-room, which was adorned by a huge figure of bacchus riding on a cask. in tubs filled with sand stood young firs and junipers, and the ground was strewn with cut fir twigs. the musicians sat on a gigantic barrel, and from the vaulted roof hung barrel-hoops with oil-lamps and wax-lights. an enormous number of people, half in disguise, half in their holiday clothes, stood in groups round the tables or walked down the tub-lined alleys. the joy seemed universal and genuine, for it had a natural cause--the arrival of spring, and a less natural one--the return of the king for the third time. sten wandered lonely among the festive groups, without the hope of meeting a friend. he felt thirsty after his bath but was ashamed to ask for anything, for he did want to drink alone. but as he walked he grew suddenly conscious that someone was looking at him. he turned round and saw a little yellow, dried-up, narrow-chested man who for want of a table had sat down by an upturned barrel and taken a smaller one for a seat. he had before him a stone jug filled with rhenish wine and two small green wine-glasses. he was alone and only drank out of one glass. "will the young gentleman sit down?" he asked in a weak, sibilant voice, beginning at once to cough. "i see the young gentleman is alone, and so am i." sten looked interrogatively at the empty glass, but the coughing man answered his question by bringing an unoccupied barrel which he offered him to sit on. "i have a terrible cough," said the yellow man, "but don't let that disturb you. the spring-time is always trying for those with weak chests. it is now spring again," he added in the melancholy voice with which one might say "it is now autumn again." sten felt obliged to say something. "you should drink sweet wine instead of sour." "my chest complaint is not of that kind," he answered, and began to cough again by way of demonstrating the fact. "i am a clerk in the cloth factory of the town, and there one gets this kind of cough. the dust of the wool affects the lungs and the workers do not live beyond thirty-six. i am now thirty-five," he added with caustic humour, and emptied his glass. "why don't you choose another occupation?" asked sten in a friendly and child-like way. "choose? one doesn't choose, young sir. society in the city is a building in which each man is a stone fitted into its place; if he moves, he disturbs the whole edifice. but society has committed an oversight by not forbidding men in my position to marry. for if the fathers cannot marry till they are thirty and die at thirty-six, the children must go under." he pointed to the ground and continued: "you see, it is a human instinct to climb up; by 'up' one means freedom from work. that is what we climb and struggle for. there are two methods of getting up--an honourable and a dishonourable. the latter is the easier but may end with a crash. i have always been honest." the drummer standing on the great barrel beat a roll-call on his drum, which signified that someone was about to make a speech. a heavily built man now mounted a decorated cask. he wore a tunic edged with fur, with a red cloth lining and a round fur cap--a garb which was more adapted for outward appearance than for warmth. it was the mayor. "now the king's health will be proposed," explained the factory clerk. "this is the third time that he proposes it, and three times already he has cursed the king and drunk to the health of the archbishop and the danish king. a true citizen, you see, drinks to whichever power is in the ascendant, for that power always protects trade, and a city consists of tradesmen; the others do not count." sten caught isolated words of the mayor's speech while the clerk continued to whisper in his ear: "a middleman sits in a comfortable room. he has a letter written to the seller and asks the price. then he has a letter written to the buyer and asks what he will give. and so the bargain is concluded through him. if the buyer and seller could meet and do their business directly, no middlemen would be necessary, but that they cannot, for then there would be no so-called privileges. and privileges are bestowed by the ruling power." outbursts of applause interrupted both the speech of the mayor and the whisperings of the clerk. when the speech was ended all raised their glasses and cried "long live the king!"--all except the clerk, who stood up and flung his glass against the barrel on which the speaker stood. an outcry, like a sudden outbreak of fire, rose from the whole company, and in a few seconds the rebellious clerk was carried backwards by strong arms towards the restaurant stairs. there sten saw him disappear, coughing violently the while. the shrill sound of his cough pierced through the uproar and the roll of the drums which had struck up. the mayor again desired permission to speak, this time through the city trumpeter, and announced that on this joyous occasion of the king's return, the town and the council would give wine freely. a barrel of wine was rolled along, and placed on a seat amid universal approval. but now there came a new diversion. from one of the many side-rooms which were generally hired for marriages and other private festivities, came a marriage procession with violin-players and torch-bearers at its head, intending to pass through the great hall and accompany the newly wedded pair home. but that was not possible. the excitement was too great to allow such an opportunity to pass unchallenged. "dance the bride's crown off!" was the cry, and the next moment all the young men had formed a circle round the bride, separating her from the bridegroom. the bride was a blooming girl of twenty and the bridegroom was a withered-looking man of thirty with the same sickly pallor as the factory clerk, whom he otherwise somewhat resembled. sten's curiosity was directed towards the deserted bridegroom, and he did not understand why he felt a certain sympathy with him, though it was his happiest day. meanwhile the bride had been blindfolded. sten was drawn into the ring of dancers, which at one moment circled with dizzying rapidity and at another stood still. the bride stretched out her arms and caught sten round the neck; he fell on one knee, blushing, kissed her hand, and entered the ring with a garland on his head to dance with the bride, who seemed flattered by such unusual attention. then he stepped up to the bridegroom, paid him some compliments about his bride, and asked permission to drink to his prosperity. although it was annoying to the latter to be stopped in this way, he could not refuse, and briefly informed sten that he also was a clerk in the cloth factory. sten could not resist giving a start of sympathetic surprise, but had no time to observe the bridegroom more closely, for the latter was now drawn into the ring and had to dance with the bride. sten underwent a strange sensation and thought of the death-dance depicted on the walls of the chapel of his father's castle. "poor bridegroom!" he thought, "and poor girl!" but the joy this evening was quite beyond all bounds, and now tables and seats were cleared away, for the bride's-maids were about to dance the torch-dance, which had been specially called for and which was customary at weddings. the girls received the torches from the bride's escort and invited their cavaliers to dance by handing the torches to them. sten had drawn back in order to rest after his exertions, and stood with his back against the cold wall regarding the bridegroom in a melancholy way, as the latter with wine-flushed cheeks fluttered uneasily about the bride, who was surrounded by a number of young men. he felt himself again so lonely among the excited crowd; the various impressions he had undergone during the last twenty-four hours rose up like shadows, and his tired senses began to give way. he closed his eyes and it became dark; the ground seemed to sink under his feet, and he felt a singing in his ears as though he were drowning. he made a supreme effort to hold himself up, and opened his eyes, but saw at first only a dark moving mass in front of him; gradually this was reduced to order and a point of light was kindled against the dark background. it broadened, came nearer, assumed a shape, and then, as when a curtain is quickly drawn back from a picture, a radiant woman's form appeared before him. she was pure light; her eyes were like the virgin mary's, her hair resembled silver or gold--it was difficult to say which, her small face was warm and white like newly washed wool. in one hand she held a torch, which she reached to sten, who took it mechanically, while at the same time he took her free hand which she extended to him. it was all like a vision. as he looked at her small while hand, which lay so confidingly in his, the latter seemed to him, in comparison, like that of the giantess in the bathroom. sten had to open the dance. room was made for them, and he and his partner began to thread the swaying crowd. at one moment they parted from one another, then they met again; one instant he put his arm round her and pressed her to his heart, then another cavalier came and took her from him; but whatever happened, they always met again, and he lighted her way with his uplifted torch. every time they met again he wished to say something complimentary, but he was dumb and could not utter a word when he looked into her eyes. he was lost in wonder at the whiteness of her hand and the smallness of her foot; the latter peeped forth from under her looped-up dress, and with the well-arched instep was so clearly visible throughout the thin silk shoe that her toes might have been counted. a princess accustomed to walk on roses might have envied the middle-class maiden her foot. when the dance ceased and sten had laid down his torch, his partner hesitated for a moment, as though she wished to say something or to ask sten to speak. sten, however, felt as though his tongue were paralysed; but quick as lightning and without considering what he was doing, he embraced her neck and kissed her on both cheeks as one kisses a sister. there at once arose an uproar among the wedding-guests, and sten found himself surrounded by threatening hands and angry looks. but the other guests thought the pair so handsome, and sten looked so innocent as he stood there blushing at his boldness, that they intervened and made peace. the others insisted on a punishment. then an elderly man, a town-councillor of a cheerful disposition, stepped forward and declared that the offender should be punished on the spot, but that, because of the freedom allowed on this particular day, the law was willing to wink at his offence. on the other hand the insulted maiden, the daughter of a respectable clerk in the public weighing-house, should, if, he added jestingly, she had really been so much insulted, herself adjudicate in the matter. his proposal was accepted with unanimous applause; but sten felt discomposed to see his princess metamorphosed into a clerk's daughter. the young girl was embarrassed to the verge of tears, and could not utter a word. at last one of her young friends pressed forward and whispered something in her ear. this advice, whispered at the moment of need, seemed to revive the spirits of the despairing umpire, and with almost inaudible voice she pronounced her verdict "the young gentleman must sing!" "a song! a song!" shouted the emotional throng, and sten was condemned to do so. he was lifted by strong arms on to the table and was handed a tortoise-shell lute, which one of the italian painters, who at that time resided in the city, had brought with him. no one inquired whether the victim could sing, for all assumed that a young man of good family could do so. sten first played a prelude on the strings while he recovered himself from his embarrassment and the crowd at his feet heaved like a troubled sea. what should he sing? the smells of beer, wine and fir twigs, mingled with fumes from the oil-lamps and wax-lights, filled the air and made him half unconscious. before his eyes loomed a chaos of red faces, lamps, casks, instruments and flowers. his fingers wandered over the chords but his ear could not find the tune he wanted. there was silence at last, but the many-headed beast which was now looking up to him so expectantly might, the next moment stir, lose patience, and tear him in pieces. then he saw the blue eyes and white cheeks which still bore the red marks of his kisses; the strings of the lute sounded, and he felt chorda in his breast which responded. after striking some loud notes, he began, in a weak voice which grew stronger as he went on, a song in the style of the old minnesingers, and when he had concluded it he was fully acquitted by the audience. then the good-natured councillor stepped up to him, thanked him, put his arm round his neck, and walked with him into one of the side-rooms. here he placed him on a seat, and standing before him with folded arms, he assumed a judicial tone and said: "that was the song, young gentleman; now let us have the words! you have some trouble on your mind, you are not on the right road, and you steal into the town without a pass--you see, we watch our people and they are not too many to be counted." sten was beside himself with alarm, but the councillor quieted him, asked him to relate his story, and promised to be his friend. when sten perceived that the facts must come out in any case, he chose the present favourable opportunity to narrate them privately to a friendly person, knowing that perhaps to-morrow, when the effects of wine had ceased to work, his friendliness might have evaporated. accordingly he frankly told the councillor everything. when he had ended, the latter said, "well, you are looking for an occupation which is suited to your strength and capacity. you can write, and, as it happens, the city just needs a clerk, for a place will be vacant this evening." "in the cloth factory?" asked sten, with a gloomy foreboding that the answer would be in the affirmative. "yes." "the unfortunate man has then been dismissed for his imprudence?" "naturally! the city is the key of the kingdom; those who guard the key-cupboard must not be surrounded by traitors." "i cannot accept the post," declared sten, remembering the kindness which the unfortunate man had shown him. "'one man dead gives another man bread!'" "you are ashamed of walking over corpses? but what is our pilgrimage here but a fight for life or death, or a lyke-wake where one sits and waits till the body is carried out. how did i become a councillor? by waiting for the deaths of six others. how shall i become mayor? by waiting for the present mayor's death. and that may be a long time," he added with a sigh. "as regards the dismissed man, i am very sorry for him, but am glad at the same time that you will be saved from going under." "but he has wife and children." "very sad for them! but when a man has renounced his place, as he has done, it is vacant; if you refuse to take it, you will be doing neither him nor yourself a service. between ourselves, we all thought somewhat as he did, but, look you! one must not say so. i am an old man, sir, and have seen life. it is a perverse and mad business, and satan himself cannot help one. at present your velvet jacket is white, but to-morrow it will be dirty; the day after, it will be torn, and then, do you know what you are? no longer a young gentleman, but an adventurer and a tramp. hear my advice, young man. get bread for your mouth so long as your velvet jacket lasts, and hold your tongue. sleep over the matter and come on monday morning to the town hall. i wish you good night and common sense." sten rose and returned to the great hall. but it seemed to him empty and desolate now that the bridal procession had vanished. tired and exhausted by the various emotions he had undergone during the evening and the past twenty-four hours, he resolved to go home. when he came to the inn and entered his room, he took off his velvet jacket and inspected it. stained with wine, dirty with the dust of the high road, browned with sweat under the arm-pits, it looked wretched enough. he lay down and went to sleep wondering where the weighing-house might be; he dreamt of death-dances and factory clerks, fought with corpses, and awoke. then he went to sleep again thinking of the weighing-house and of a tender farewell to the velvet jacket, with a firm resolve to earn bread, first for one month, and then for two. * * * * * the beautiful month of may did not keep its promises; snow fell while the apple trees were in blossom, and the sun did not appear for fourteen days. for fourteen dreadful days had sten, the last scion of the family of ulffot at wäringe, hofsta and löfsala, stood at his post in the draughty, unwarmed factory by the harbour. from morning till late in the evening he had stood there, with a pen in his half-frozen fingers, registering the names of the kinds of cloth which had been brought by the incoming vessels. he did not really understand why they should be registered any more than if they had been so many stones of the street, flakes of snow, or drops of water; but he obeyed the old councillor's advice, and held his tongue whenever he felt tempted to ask. the room where he worked was continually being entered by porters and merchants who left snow and dirt on the floor, and let the cold air blow in freely. one bale of cloth after another was thrown upon an enormous table and filled the air with a choking dust. he had not yet begun to cough, but he felt that he breathed with more difficulty; and to add to his troubles, the intense cold had burnt holes in his white hands and made them quite red. one day he went to a barber's and looked at himself in a mirror. he thought it was another person he was looking at when he saw a lean yellow face full of spots and fringed with an untidy beard. his feet had become so swollen that he could not wear his ordinary boots, but had to use lapland shoes. he had changed his white jacket for a brown frock-coat and his cap for a slouched hat. his scanty pay obliged him to take his meals in third-rate restaurants where he only got salted food, and the unaccustomed diet had brought on an attack of scurvy. when he once ventured to complain to one of his senior fellow-workers, the latter took him to task and said there were many who worked more than sten and got no food at all; he himself had had no fresh food since christmas. this man was the bridegroom whom sten had met in the restaurant of the town hall; he was envious of sten because the latter, while still so young, had obtained a post for which he had been waiting for ten years. "many get everything given them in this life, and yet are not satisfied," he often remarked when consoling sten. the latter envied hint because of his comparatively good health, his uninjured hands and feet, and the indifference with which he took things. he on his part declared that sten suffered because he had been spoilt and had not learned to work, and from this opinion he would not budge. sten felt that his bodily health was giving way under the struggle; his friend said that it was a fall in an honourable battle of which no knight need be ashamed. sten thought that his soul was being injured by the murderous work of perpetually writing figures; however, his friend asserted it was not the fault of the work but because he had been badly educated. badly educated! he who had had two nurses and a governess, he who had had tutors in greek and latin, could play the lute, and make fine verses! that he would not acknowledge. but he knew that he was unhappy. he also knew now where the weighing-house was. but what was the use of that? he had seen the young girl at a mass in the city church, but she had been shocked at his appearance; and his friend in the cloth factory told him that she thought sten looked degenerated. his friend also told him that her father had some money, gave his daughter an education, and hoped to get her well married, so that it was not worth while for sten to wear out his boots by going there, he added. one day sten, weary of copying figures, felt he had had enough of the dark room. better, he thought, any physical exertion than this eternal writing in which there was no progress and no end. he resigned his post. it was in the middle of a hot summer. he wandered up and down the streets without object and without hope. lost in thoughts, he contemplated the houses and their signboards as though he expected to find there the answer to the riddle of his life. his gaze was arrested by a large horseshoe which hung on a pole; memories of a nag and a highway began to stir in his brain. then he heard the blows of a hammer in the courtyard. he entered in and saw a giant who was forging horseshoes. the work proceeded slowly and the giant panted and sweated at each blow. it brightened sten up to see the sparks dancing round the anvil, and the forge also diffused a cheerful glow. but the smith did not seem in a cheerful mood, for he broke off his work, sat down on a log of wood, and watched with gloomy looks the iron growing cold. then as though stung by an evil conscience he went into the smithy and came out again with a piece of red-hot iron, but seemed to be still more depressed, for he laid the iron on the anvil, and then sat down and watched it as though he expected it to turn into horseshoes. presently he turned round, and sten, seeing his face, recognised claus. he went up to him and greeted him as an old acquaintance. claus at first regarded him with astonishment, and after he had been obliged to recognise him, maintained an air of severe coldness. suddenly his face brightened, as though a thought had struck him. "listen!" he said. "are you free at present?" sten replied that he certainly was. "by saint anschar, you shall become a smith! now i see that you were really born to be one. strange what mistakes one may make sometimes! you have developed a pair of fists since we last met, and one soon learns how to grasp a hammer!" "it is certainly too hard for me, since i did not begin it when i was young," objected sten. "hard? what the dickens! it is not harder than anything else--i mean for one who has the capacity. listen! we will be good friends and have a fine time. the master sits the whole day in the beer-shop, and only you and i will be here." sten thought the proposal as good as any he was likely to meet with, and believed he would find a support in claus. accordingly he consented. "then we will go at once to the master of the guild of smiths at the journeymen's inn," said claus. sten reminded him that he had said he occupied this office of master, but claus replied he had given it up owing to having too much to do. they went therefore to the master, whose reception of claus was so obviously disdainful that sten on the spot lost a considerable amount of the respect he had felt for him. meanwhile he was enrolled as an apprentice of the guild, and this new dignity of his was sealed by their drinking a number of mugs of beer in a public-house, and in the evening was ratified by claus's master, who was the worse for drink. sten slept that night at the smithy. the next morning, while the matin-bell was ringing in the ave maria convent, sten was aroused by being violently shaken by claus, who said: "light the fire in the forge and tell me when it burns. i am going to doze a little longer." sten blew the fire and worked the bellows for half an hour. when at last it burnt up brightly, he woke claus. "now put the iron in, and tell me when it gets red, i want still to have a wink or two," said claus, turning to the wall. when the iron was glowing as red as blood, sten woke him again. "now hammer out the iron till it is as slender as a finger, while i shake off my sleepiness," said claus, yawning. sten went back to the smithy, but now the iron had become black. he worked the bellows and made it red again. then he took it up with the tongs and carried it out to the anvil, but before he had seized the sledge-hammer, it was once more black. this process was repeated till sten became tired. then he returned to claus, who was snoring loud, and had drawn his leather apron over his head in order not to be disturbed by the daylight. claus became impatient. "well, you stupid, can't you take the hammer in one hand and the tongs in the other?" sten replied he could not. "then you can go for a jug of beer." sten felt ashamed of going into the street with a tin can, but as claus began to search in a tool-chest for a hammer, he hurried out. the morning was fine; the sun shone on the gable-roofs of the houses, and women and girls were proceeding to market. when sten came out of the public-house with the beer, and was about to cross the street, he suddenly stopped, as though riveted, before someone who gazed at him in astonishment and sorrow. he wished to turn round, but the crowd prevented him; he wanted to raise his cap, but the beer-jug required both his black hands to hold it. the girl went on her way, and sten hastened, weeping, back to the smithy. "what are you whimpering for?" said claus, who had shaken off his sleep and come out into the sunshine, where he drank his morning draught. sten did not answer. claus took out a plank which he laid on the wooden log against the wall of the house so that he had a support for his back. "now we will work," he said, crossing his arms and making himself as comfortable as possible. "you will begin with the cold iron first, so that you learn how to handle the hammer." sten lifted the hammer, which was very heavy for him. he struck on the anvil while claus counted "one and two! and one and two! and one and two!" "yes, yes; now you see what a workman has to do. one and two! and one and two! and---that is something different from lying on eider-down and eating roast-veal! and two and---you think one gets accustomed to have the sun on one's neck, the forge in one's face, and the smoke in one's nose? no, look you, one never does. and what do you think a pretty girl says when a smith comes with his black hands and wants to put his arm round her waist? 'let me alone, lout!' she says. a smith can certainly marry when he has saved some money, but he must take an ugly girl whom no one else will have. and two! and one!---are you listening? do you remember when you sat in the inn and ate fowl with sage stuffing, and, i had a salted herring in my bag? and he had a horse, the young devil, and a velvet jacket. where is the horse now? perhaps he is standing in the stable in the knacker's house, or whatever your father's castle was called. do you remember that i made you believe that sir vulcan was councillor to the emperor of rome. ha! ha! no, a smith is a smith, that is all." sten was growing tired. "are you lazy, you devil?" said claus. "stop calling me devil," said sten, "i am not accustomed to it." "perhaps his grace is used to being called 'angel'?" said claus scornfully. sten _had_ been once used to it, but he refrained from saying so. he went on with his hammer strokes. "one and two! and one and two! and one---no," said claus, "you can do that now. beat out the iron rod now; it is harder to do when it is cold, but still it can be done. i must go now to some business in the town, and when the old man comes, tell him that i met my brother-in-law from the country. but if you have not beaten out the iron rod by the time i come back, i will weld your hind legs together, so that you will be like a herring." sten felt quite exhausted and declared that he could not finish the work alone. he also said openly that he had not come here to do claus's work while the latter sat in the ale-house. claus became furious. "yes, you have, my young man," he shouted. "that is just what you have come for. look you! i have worked for thirty-five years, and you have done nothing; now i am the nobleman and let you work for me! is it not so with the aristocracy?" claus leant himself against the plank with his arms folded and continued: "yes, i am a devilish fine nobleman, you can believe me! and you will see how i shall flourish. i shall not be rich, but i shall be fat. you look disapproving. you don't agree with my plan, nor understand it. the upper class have invented it themselves, and a very excellent one it is." sten replied that in his opinion claus was a bumpkin. "go and fetch the big hammer. you will do some extra work by way of punishment," claus replied haughtily. sten's blood boiled over and he raised the iron rod against claus. at the same moment he felt something give way in his body, and fell senseless to the ground. * * * * * when sten awoke to consciousness he was lying in a bed at the hospital, and was condemned to inaction for several months, for he had broken a blood-vessel, and his recovery was doubtful. in the large ward one bed stood close to another, and as soon as it was empty there was always someone waiting to occupy it. here he saw every day instances how those who did physical labour were exposed to accidents which other classes escaped. at one time it was a carpenter who had cut his foot; at another a mason who had fallen from a scaffolding. one day came a breweress who had scalded herself when boiling wort; on another a pewterer who had burnt his knee at the smelting oven. hitherto he had had no idea how widely spread human sufferings were, and when he contrasted his past with his present, he began to guess how the legend of the rich man, who could not enter heaven, had arisen. thus he lay the whole summer, without fresh air or seeing anything green. he felt bitterly how the best time of the year was passing, and imagined how it looked in the country, and what people were doing every day. numbers of monks came to the ward, and almost every day the crucifix was lifted by some bed-side to comfort a sufferer. sten often talked with the monks and he could not help sharing their view that the earth was a vale of tears. when his pains became severe he felt relief in contemplating the crucified who writhed on the cross, and he understood now why the christian creed had been able to gain so many disciples. one day, when he was especially suffering, he had a visit from claus, who had heard a report that sten was dying. he felt now compelled to see and speak with the sick man, and, if possible, to comfort him; but in order to strengthen himself he went first into an ale-shop, with the result that he reached the hospital in a somewhat hilarious condition. when he again met sten, whose face had recovered its fair complexion and his hands their delicacy, his former respect for him awoke, and he confessed to himself that there were a finer and a coarser kind of men. he called sten "sir," and advised him to think about his soul and to repent of his sins; he should not, he said, be sorry that he had to die, for the smiths' company would carry him to the grave, and afterwards hold such a funeral feast as had never been seen in the city. then he threw out some delicate hints that it was a pity for the hospital to get sten's clothes when he was dead, and at the same time expressed his admiration of the excellent wool of which sten's coat was made; for the rest, he believed that old trousers could be altered, and told sten above all things to take care that nothing was left in the pockets. life, he said, was very troublesome, and parents who did not teach their children to work with their hands were worse than murderers, and to give children an education was to spoil them. sten would have made a good smith, if he had learnt to wield the hammer from his childhood, and he might by this time have married the maiden from the weighing-house. as it was, she had engaged herself to one of the yeomen of the guard. sten, however, should not be sad about that, for he had not much longer to live, but claus would carry the flag at his funeral procession as a token that he had forgiven the young gentleman all the wrong he had done him. as he uttered these last words, claus was so overcome by his noble sentiments that he wept as only a drunken man can. but claus never carried the flag, because he was not the guild's flag-bearer, and because sten recovered. one fine autumn day he was dismissed from the hospital and told that he was no longer ill, but that he would never be strong enough to work. now he realised the whole terrible truth of what claus had said: his education had robbed him of the means of earning a livelihood. it was in vain that he went about and sought a place in an already organised society; there was no place for drones in this hive. the only thing remaining was to flee from this hive and seek another where the working-bees supported the drones. he thought of the convents where men did not work but lived very comfortably and could devote their leisure to such refined enjoyments as arts and sciences, and he wondered that he had not before this enlisted in the armies of the church. with a light step he walked down to the convent of the dominican monks in the osterlang-gata, and rang the bell. the little window in the gate was opened and a monk asked sten his name and address. he gave his name and asked to speak to the prior with a view to entering the convent. the gate was opened and sten was admitted into the garden, where he was told to wait. meanwhile the prior sat in the hall of the chapter going through the estate and rent books with the steward. various deficits in these showed a serious diminution in the income of the convent. they were just consulting how this might be increased to its highest possible point again, as the general chapter of the dominican order was constantly demanding support for the war against the heretics, when the gate-keeper's assistant announced sten ulffot's arrival, name, and business. "ulffot of wäringe, hofsta and löfsala," the prior said to himself, and made the sign of the cross. "he comes as opportunely as though he were sent by st dominic himself. i know löfsala thoroughly; it is a splendid estate--twelve hundred acres of open ground, besides saleable meadows and woods, water-mills, saw-mills and a splendid eel-fishery. let him in! let him in by all means! bid the gentleman welcome in the name of the lord." "your reverence," interposed the steward, "wait a minute. löfsala is a fine estate certainly, but sad to say the present owner has no taste for the spiritual life." "the present owner?" "yes, the ulffot family," continued the steward, "has been obliged to give up everything, and the last member of it is said to be an adventurer who has tried a little of everything but carried nothing out, and is quite come down in the world." "what do you say? what do you say? h'm! well, what shall we do with him?" "from him we shall get neither profit nor honour," said the steward. "we have monks enough who eat our provisions, and this is not a poorhouse." "quite right!" said the prior. "quite right! but who is to tell him that? one of st dominic's wisest and best rules is, never to send anyone unsatisfied away. will brother francis go into the garden and speak a little with the young man? speak a little with him, explain it to him, you understand! let us go on with our work, steward." brother francis was a tall man, of alarming appearance, with a bearish temper, who was employed to scare away such applicants as were not "edible," in the phraseology of the industrious brotherhood; for the dominican order was a powerful political corporation, which lived in perpetual strife with princes, for power and property, and was by no means an institution for exercising benevolence. when brother francis saw sten's insignificant appearance he thought he could make short work with him. "what do you want in the convent?" he asked without any preliminary remarks. "i seek for the peace which the world cannot give," answered sten. "then you have come to the wrong place," said francis. "this is the armoury of the church militant, and there is never peace here." "peace follows fighting," sten ventured to object; but this irritated the monk, who wished to get done with a thankless task. "say what you want and speak the truth--something like this: 'i cannot dig and to beg i am ashamed; therefore i will come here and eat.' if you say that, you will not be lying." sten felt that the monk had to a certain extent hit the mark, and answered simply, "alas, you are right!" surprised at this unexpected admission, and touched by sten's childlikeness, the monk took him farther into the garden and continued his talk. "i know your history and understand the riddle of your life. when nature is left to herself, she produces masterpieces; but when man interferes with her work, he makes a bungle of it. look at this pear tree; it is a descendant from a pear tree at santa lucia in spain, where it was cultivated for five hundred years. you think it is an excellent thing that it can bring forth fine fruits to please our palates? nature does not think so, for she has produced the fruit for the sake of the pipe which continue the species. look at this pear when i cat it in two! do you see any pips? no! over-cultivation has done away with them. look at this apple which glows so magnificently with red and gold! it is an english pearmain. it has pips, but if i sow them they produce crab-apples. when, however, a severe winter comes, the pearmain trees are killed by frost, but the crab-apple trees are not. therefore one ought to give up over-cultivating people, especially when it is done at the expense of others. such cultivation is unsuited to our country and our severe climate. have i expressed myself clearly? i am sorry for you, young man, but i cannot help you. _beati possidentes_--blessed are those who have succeeded. your ancestors won success, but they had not the skill to maintain it!" he went on to talk of indifferent matters while he conducted sten to the gate. "there will be an early winter this year, if we may judge by the ash-berries." then he opened the gate, bowed politely and said "good-bye, sir." when the gate closed, sten felt that he was shut out from society once for all, and he rallied the small remainder of bodily and mental strength which he possessed, to form a resolution. but his will and thinking power bed collapsed. the twilight had fallen. he followed the descent of the steep street which led to the sea, as though he were obeying the law of gravitation. his feet led him into a narrow alley which was quite dark and filled with an overpowering stench from the offal which had been thrown away there; but he went on and on, guided by a faint light which appeared at the bottom of the alley. presently he stood before a water-gate which had been left ajar and through which a moonbeam pierced the darkness. he opened the gate and before him lay the surface of the water lit by the moon which was rising over the island of sikla. the little waves danced and played in the path of the moonlight and the sea breeze blew freshly shore-wards. sten stepped over the narrow threshold and let the gate close behind him, without exactly thinking what he was doing. at the same moment all the bells in the city began to ring for vespers, and the drummers on the city walls beat the tattoo as a signal for the citizens to go to bed. sten took off his cap, fell on his knees, and said a prayer. then he stood up, turned his back towards the sea, folded his arms over his breast, looked up at the stars and let himself fall backwards, as though he were going to rest. the silvery water mirror opened like a dark grave, which closed again at once, and a great ring, like a halo, appeared on the surface; it widened into many more circles, which dispersed and died away. soon the little waves reappeared and danced and played in the moonlight as though they had never been frightened. "unwelcome" the baptism service was over, and the family party had got into the boats and hoisted sail. the little fleet now glided out of the green bay below the island chapel. in the first boat sat the god-parents with the newly baptised infant. "it was a strange idea to call the boy 'christian,'" said the mother's sister to the father's sister, as she put the child's feeding-bottle to its mouth. "oh, it doesn't matter what one is called, and if he has the same name as the danish king it is good enough," said the other. "yes, but the poor boy will have no name-day if he has no patron saint." "that is all right, for then no one will have the trouble of celebrating it. he was not wished for and he was hardly welcome," said the father's sister. in the second boat sat the father and mother and the two elder children, a boy and a girl aged seven and eight respectively. "we could have done very well without another one," said the father as he ported the helm. "it is all very well talking now," said his wife as she counter-braced the sail. "yes, i know," he replied. "but you will be kind to him?" she said. "i must be, i suppose," was his answer. he pushed his boy down from the boat-side on which he had clambered, saying, "keep still in the boat, children, or the devil will have you." in the third boat sat the pastor and the grand-parents. "how is the fishing?" asked the former. "so-so," answered the grandfather. "the lord knows where the fish go now. when i was young, one caught enough herrings in two nights to last the winter, and now it is doubtful whether one catches any at all." "yes, it is strange; i had three standing nets out there on wednesday night and did not catch a fin," said the pastor. "winter will bring hard times, and one ought to look forward before producing more mouths than one can fill." "i told him so," said the grandfather assentingly. "the house is big enough for one brood, not for two. better one farmer than two cottagers. i don't think, however, he will divide the farm, but this last child must go out into service like others." "that is certainly as good as starving at home," said the pastor. the july sun blazed hotly upon the fjord, the sky was perfectly blue, and the newly baptised child screamed, whether from joy or grief it was difficult to say. soon the thatched roofs of the farm were visible among the alders, and the boats halted at the bridge. the occupants disembarked and were regaled with a good meal spread under the oak trees. afterwards the pastor thanked god for the happiness with which he had blessed the house, and bade the guests raise their glasses to welcome the new citizen of the world into the congregation. * * * * * christian grew up among the calves and pigs, for his brother and sister were too old to play with him. he seemed born with two characteristics which never left him: one was to be always in the way, the other was to be never welcome. wherever he appeared, behind a bush, on a haystack, under a boat, in a loft, or in the cottage, the cry always was, "is it you, young scoundrel?" wherever he happened to be, and anyone approached, they said, "you always have to be in the way." his parents, who for eight years had been unaccustomed to the crying of a baby, and were now a good deal older so that they enjoyed a good sleep, found it somewhat difficult to reconcile themselves to his crying at night, and they soon came to regard it as a failing which was peculiar to their youngest born. it was in vain that the grandmother asserted that all children cried, and that hans the eldest had really cried much more when he was little. his father said he could not remember that at all; all he remembered was that hans had been an uncommonly good child, who had always been a source of joy to his parents. there was such a great difference, he added, between children. meanwhile christian, who was intelligent enough to see that he was in the way, acquired the habit of keeping out of the way; when he saw anyone he hid himself, ran out to the woods and fields, and was up to all kinds of mischief. as he became older and was strong enough to do some useful work, attempts were made to tame him, but in vain. when put in charge of cattle, he ran away from them and let them go into the fields; he laid the fishing-nets so deep that they could not be got up again, and when sought for, he was not to be found. in short he seemed half a savage. once, at his elder brother's suggestion, he was beaten, but then he remained away eight whole days, and when he reappeared he was as stout and strong as before; no one knew what he had eaten or where he had slept. but christian himself knew well enough. the scanty diet of his home consisted chiefly of salt fish, turnips and bread. christian, who often had to satisfy himself with what fell from the table, or was left over, often felt a longing for more nourishing food, especially as he grew older and approached manhood. he was hungry the whole day, and went to the wood and the seashore to get food. fish did not attract him, for he had chewed them till he was tired and they gave him no strength; he looked for warm-blooded creatures, and when he caught some young birds he ate them raw. then he felt stronger as the blood diffused an intoxicating warmth throughout his body. eggs had the same effect; these he took ruthlessly from the nests of the sea-birds on the shore. in this way he procured for himself a diet which was much more nourishing than his parents and brother and sister could contrive to obtain. so he grew, and became strong, but could not make up his mind to work. in a rude boat which he had managed to construct himself, he cruised about the islands and hunted for eggs. his parents, who did not exactly miss his presence, soon began to regard him as having flown from the nest. one fine spring day, when the eider-geese were flying over the outermost islands, christian sailed out with his bow and his nooses, more for the sake of amusement and passing the time than for practical purposes, for he never killed anything except for immediate consumption. he landed with his boat on one of those skerries which form the last breakwater against the open sea, and which only sea-birds and fishermen frequent during the summer. the skerry was uninhabited, but a rude shed had been built on it to serve as a sleeping-place for fishermen in the fishing season, and as a shelter for travellers and those who might be driven ashore. it consisted of a single room with the bare earth for its floor; along the wall were arranged berths like shelves furnished with sheep-skins for sleeping under. two stones on the ground marked where a fire might be lit, and flint and steel were kept in a place well known to all between the beams above the door. the door was always closed but could be opened with a bent wooden peg. everyone had a right to enter if they only closed the door after them and put back the flint and steel in its place. if any-body wished to show benevolence or gratitude, they placed an armful of grass or juniper twigs near the fire-place, for there was not a tree on the skerry. it was in these shelters that christian generally slept, and there he took his simple meals; he knew each one of them for miles around, and where the best sheep-skins were to be found. the fleas which infested them generally left him alone. meanwhile the spring evening was beautiful, and the sea lay there serene in blue tranquillity. christian, who had learnt not to trust it, drew his boat up and hid it behind some great stones. he had rowed far and clambered about on the rocks, so that he went into the rest-house and got into the topmost berth to sleep. he lay there for a time and thought about various things--about the day which had just passed, about his life and its purposes, and the life which should follow this. he had opened the sky-light and saw the steel-grey heaven above him, and a star or two which palely glimmered in the lingering sunlight. has religious instincts had not been educated either by parents, pastors or teachers, nor had he been confirmed, but he knew that behind nature and the events of life were guiding powers of which one had no nearer knowledge. he had arrived at no certainty regarding the object of his existence. together with the gift of life, he had received the instinct to preserve it, and obeyed this instinct. what more was there to do? he ate in order to be able to work, and worked in order to get something to eat. yes, but in the intervals, he thought, or, rather, he wondered. he wondered whether perhaps these very thoughts of his constituted the higher aim of life of which he dreamt; he remembered that his mother had said that the earth was a vale of tears through which we must wander in order to become better and thereby worthier of the kingdom of heaven. he found, on closer reflection, that he neither grew better nor worse from one day to another, and he did not understand how he was to improve. perhaps he was an exception? possibly. all others took the oath of loyalty to the king; all others paid taxes, went to church, paid tithes to the clergy, paid rent, swept the snow away for one another, bought and sold, summoned each other before the law-courts, but could do nothing without asking permission and payment. they asked permission to be able to marry, to be received into the community where they were born, to be buried in the earth; and on each occasion there were fees to pay. they paid the king for ruling them, they paid the judge for judging them, the pastor for saving them, and the executioner for hanging them; they paid in the town for the right to sell their fish, and they paid for the bridges on which the town's existence depended. christian, who did nothing of all this, was therefore an exception, and the reason he escaped all these payments was, that he possessed nothing. that was the difference between him and them: he possessed nothing. in earlier times he had heard those who had nothing sailed out on the sea and took from those who had. this was now not permitted, and rightly so, for christian could not think it permissible that anyone should come and take his boat or his axe from him. while these half-developed thoughts came and went in the half-consciousness of a tired brain, sleep overcame him. after some hours he awoke with a choking feeling in his chest and a terrible smarting in his eyes. he sat up in his berth and saw that a fire had been made on the ground below. by it sat two men--one in the half-barbaric costume of the inhabitants of dägo, the other in the everyday garb of a swedish fisherman. they were roasting some herrings before the fire. christian, who did not feel inclined to move, as he did not know how the strangers might be disposed, protected himself from the smoke as well as he could by creeping as far as possible under the coverlet; he did not blame himself for listening to their conversation, but, as we shall see afterwards, turned it to profit. "they are a stupid lot, these swedes!" said the man from dägo, who believed that his superior bodily strength gave him the right to say what he liked. "oh, you mustn't talk ill of the swedes," said the other, who in such a nocturnal _tête-à-tête_ did not venture to use a more impolite form of speech. "well, can one imagine less enterprising people than these fishermen? if they knew what the eider-birds' down was worth in russia, they would be able to make a pile of money." "yes, but you see the swedes think it wrong to deprive the birds of the down which they need for hatching their eggs." "that is just their stupidity; for if they don't take it, foreigners will, like they take everything else." "no, it is not stupidity, it is consideration to think of our successors, who also should derive profit from the birds which would disappear, if disturbed." "that is not true; but if foreigners came, they would take both eggs and down together." "they can do that if they have no conscience; swedes would rather be poor than behave so badly." "that is why i call them stupid. but now, to speak of another matter. why don't you hunt ermines and squirrels here as they do inland?" "because we have enough to do with the fish and prefer the certain to the uncertain." "that is right; but i should prefer a sure income from skins and down to an insecure one from the sea. if i had nothing else to do, it wouldn't be long before i had enough money to buy a piece of ground to build upon and fish too." the swede dropped the subject and shared his food with the stranger, who had anchored before the skerry because the wind had fallen. when it rose again at sunrise they both left the rest-house, little guessing what seeds they had sown in christian's uncultured brain. no sooner had the sound of their footsteps died away than he sprang up and went out. the rifling sun illumined the open sea which was ruffled by the morning breeze, and over whose surface sea-birds were circling. to christian this scene was not new, but to-day the sun seemed to shine more brightly and his horizon was enlarged. his eye, which had often swept the surface of the water without finding an object behind the blue line which bound the horizon, fancied it perceived, hidden by the clouds in the east, a distant land where the deliverer dwelt who would come and make him like other men; he would cease to be in the way; he would be welcome somewhere, would rest upon his own roof, and perhaps possess a small spot on this earth where he hitherto was hunted about like a trespassing dog. hope awoke in his soul, and when he saw the strange boat hoist sail and enter the golden path traced on the waves by the sun, he fancied himself standing by the helm and steering to the distant land behind the blue horizon with his precious cargo, and now he determined to begin a new life. * * * * * far out in the fjallang fjord, almost in the open sea, lies a skerry which is called trollhattorna or the "goblin's cap." it consists of a round crag with four flat sides which have a certain resemblance to the cape which the goblins of fairy-tales are supposed to wear. between these faces of the crag are deep clefts where guillemots build their nests, and where they are completely protected from rain and wind. after sundry combats with the fearless owners christian had succeeded in obtaining undisturbed possession of that cleft which faced the land, into which the wind from the sea never blew. here he had contrived a storehouse for his collected treasures by stretching a rain-proof sealskin, which he occasionally smeared with train-oil, between the walls of the cleft. he spent two years in amassing these treasures, and employed in doing so all his long-trained capacities. he could imitate all creatures' voices; he could whistle like the weasel, make a smacking noise like the squirrel, and grumble like the eider-duck. he knew how to approach one of the latter when sitting on her nest of seaweed on the open beach, and he could look at her so that she quietly let him stroke her back while he plucked the down. he never took more than one of the six eggs, and if the nestlings were already hatched he left them in peace; the ermine he sometimes caught with traps and sometimes shot them with blunted arrows so that the fur should not be injured. squirrels he watched for from behind an oak, and could entice them to come so near that he could seize them with his hands; in the winter he dragged them by the help of a willow branch from their nests, and obtained their entire store of hazel-nuts besides. his senses had grown so fine by practice that he could hear a mile off what sort of bird was approaching, and even in the twilight he could distinguish at an incredible distance between a black water-hen and a merganser. among his worst rivals, the crows, who hunted the eider-ducks in order to devour their eggs, he did great execution. by exposing the bodies of weasels and squirrels which he had skinned, he allured whole swarms of these uninvited plunderers, which he then shot down. such was his skill and so completely undisturbed was he, that within two years he had accumulated in his grotto a store which seemed to him sufficient to bring him to the foreign land where the sun rose, and where people would know how to appreciate his treasures. now again the spring was approaching, and the thought how he should construct a vessel sufficiently large and sea-worthy began to disquiet him. he knew that he could get out to the open sea very easily with a large fishing-boat such as was used for catching herrings, and that it was not more than two days' journey to the land on the other side, but he saw small prospect of being able to build such a boat and of procuring the expensive sails. his natural instinct, which revolted against the idea of anyone coming and taking from him what he had earned by his own work, forbade his procuring such a boat in any unlawful way. the spring came nearer and nearer, and his disquietude increased. one afternoon he was sitting on the highest point of trollhattorna, looking out over the sea where sails appeared and disappeared. a red-brown eider-duck came swimming with its young ones after it; the sea-gulls flew past his ears screaming, and the mergansers answered them. christian felt like a mountain king as he sat there above his treasure-chamber, but at the same time he seemed to himself to have been bewitched by the mountain spirits, for he saw no prospect of getting away. just then he heard the measured stroke of oars behind him, and saw a boat with four men in it being rowed towards the place where he sat. as it came nearer, he recognised his father and brother, but did not know the two others, one of whom shouted to him: "come down, you pirate!" christian remained where he was. "obey, when the king's sheriff orders you," said his father. high up on the skerry stood a pile of stones which the fishermen had set there as a mark. christian was prepared to defend himself. "i am not a pirate," he said. "ah, do you contradict the king's sheriff," said his father. "beware! and do not make us all miserable." "i make no one miserable," answered christian, "but i defend myself when i see that people wish me ill. what do you want from me?" "you have here a hiding-place for goods which you have stolen from peaceful traders," said the sheriff. "we have seen all." "i have stolen nothing from anyone," said christian. "all that is here i have earned by hard work." "nonsense! do you think we shall believe that one can collect so many skins and all this down here in these bare skerries. come down, for the last time, or we will take you." they began to climb the cliff, but then christian began to hurl down blocks of stone, which bounded over the heads of his assailants, knocked splinters out of the rocks, and plumped into the water, without however striking anyone. "wretched boy!" cried his father. "you were born for my ruin!" "who begot me?" answered christian, and threw the last stone. now the besiegers had a prospect of success, and soon christian felt his legs caught in a noose; and he was soon wound up like a ball, rolled down the hill, and laid in the bottom of the boat. "do not hurt him unnecessarily," said his father. "i will be security for him." then he began in a comparatively friendly tone to tell christian how badly he had treated his parents, who had produced him, clothed him, and been kind to him; with what sorrow and shame he had requited them since their name would now become notorious and dishonoured in the neighbourhood. he adjured him by the cross of christ and all the saints that he should confess his sin, since by his doing so the offence would be half pardoned and might be atoned for by a fine. he pointed to his grey hairs and begged christian not to bring dishonour on them; he bade him to think of his brother who would soon take his father's place and uphold the good name and prosperity of the family; he concluded by declaring that one must not live for oneself but for others also, because society was built up of families, and if families did not hold together, society would fall. christian should therefore acknowledge his crime. but christian had committed no crime, and therefore could not save society. his father's unwonted mildness moved him and he wished for a moment that he had done what he was accused of. their talk continued till they reached home. christian was taken to the barn and locked up there. the others went to the cottage, where they ate their supper and talked over the matter. presently, as christian lay reflecting on the floor of the barn, the door opened, and his mother stepped in. "son," she said, "think of your old mother, and tell the truth." "then mother would rather have a thief for her son than an honourable boy?" "i want you to confess; then your father will pay a fine for your offence, and our good name will be saved." "that is strange," said christian, whose brain could not follow this line of thought. "if i make myself a criminal, then the crime can be pardoned, but if i continue to be honourable, it cannot. what crime? one which has never been committed? for i have not stolen; i have only gone where anyone can go, and for a long time have collected skins and eggs as i have leave to do." but his mother replied that that had nothing to do with it; the one thing necessary was that he should confess, since; the king's sheriff desired it. his mother departed sadly. then came his sister, and said that christian should not plunge her too into misery; for if the family were disgraced, her fiancé, peter, could not marry her. christian had only to confess, then he would be free and his father would pay the fine. christian replied that he could not say "yes" when he ought to say "no." but why, she rejoined, could he not when he would make so many people happy? oh, did his sister then wish him to lie? why should he not under the circumstances? he would despise himself and not wish to live any longer. yes, but if he made his father and mother and brother and sister happy? did not christian want them to be happy? yes he did, but lying was another matter. all men did that a little, and christian should not make himself better than others. all men liars! christian had never believed that, and he himself had never lied. that was because he had never needed to lie. why, that was dreadful! how could men live together if they did not speak the truth? his sister said she could not explain that, but now she would go her way, and never wished to see again a brother who made her so unhappy. christian felt quite nervous by having so much attention concentrated on his person; he was not accustomed to people busying themselves about him, and this close dealing with his soul had disturbed his wonted equanimity. these people begged and implored him to do them a service; he could make them happy or miserable with a word--he was therefore a person of importance. this made him self-conscious, and he was seized with a desire to see the result of his intervention on their behalf. it was merely a matter of saying "yes" instead of "no," and after all what did it signify when all men were accustomed to change little words in case of need. perhaps he would have fared better if he had done so before. his resolve was taken. his father then entered and asked him if it was possible for a boy to collect such a stock of things? yes it was, if one did nothing else and was diligent. his father could not believe it; he had never seen it and therefore found it incredible. christian repeated his affirmation. his father asked him to confess that he had stolen. christian said "yes." his father, with the knife in his hand, asked whether he would confess to the bailiff. christian promised solemnly to do so. his father cut the rope and they went together to the cottage. there sat the bailiff eating his porridge peacefully. "has he confessed?" he asked, letting his spoon rest. "he has," said the father, to the great joy of those of the family who were present. but the bailiff seemed to have made some miscalculation, for he was not glad. "well," he resumed, turning to christian, "how did you manage it? i should like to know." christian, who would also have been pleased to hear how a single man sets about plundering a trader's boat, stood at first speechless, but as he began to think how he would act under the specified circumstances, his imagination came to his help. he went to the stand near the door, where the axes were kept, and took the largest gimlet he could see. then he took down his father's great sheep-skin, threw it on the bed, and after he had taken his stand in the middle of the room, began thus. "there lies the boat at anchor" (be pointed to the bed) "and there lies the skipper asleep" (he indicated the sheep-skin). "wait! let me think!" interrupted the bailiff, whose brain worked slowly. but christian continued. "here i stand on the shore, watching the boat. then i consider. there lies a boat and here am i. probably there is something at the bottom of the boat." christian, who was not accustomed to lie, came to a stop, for his awakening conscience urged him to flight and freedom. fortunately the bailiff utilised this pause to get his ideas into order. "let me see," he said. "there lies the skipper, and there lies the gimlet. what had you to do with the gimlet?" christian knew well, but that was, for the present, his secret. "i throw myself into the sea, my legs are entangled in the weeds, i wrench myself loose, swim to the anchor-rope, take the gimlet and sink the boat." "that is too fast, too fast! wait! where were we?" said the bailiff. "we sank the boat." he dipped the wooden spoon into the jug of milk, and continued. "well, and the cargo sank too?" "yes." "that is remarkable. how did you get hold of it then?" "i raised it," said christian. "he raised it. quite right. now i begin to see," said the bailiff, turning to christian's father. "but," he resumed, after rubbing his nose with the spoon handle, "i do not understand why he sank the boat when he took the cargo." "the skipper! the skipper!" broke in christian's father, who was quite absorbed in the adventure. "the skipper! yes, that is quite right! he is a sharp youngster! it is a serious case, but finely managed." christian had had time to make his plan. he drew back to the door and asked, "can i go now?" the bailiff asked himself, "can he go now?" then he said, "wait a moment! did you not take up the skipper too?" "no, i did not," said christian, "but if the bailiff wishes it i will." then he disappeared through the door, with the sheep-skin on his shoulder and the gimlet in his hand, indicating his intention to save the skipper, and leaving those present to their reflections and discussions. when christian went out he went straight to the shore, reflecting how quickly he had become a liar and how comfortably lying helped one through the difficulties of life. then he bored holes in all the boats except the largest fishing-boat, on which he hoisted sail and steered towards trollhättor. there he put his stores on board till the sun rose, then hoisted sail again and held on in the sun's track. * * * * * two years had passed. the old fisherman and his wife were dead. their son hans had taken over the farm and married a poor girl. nothing had been heard of christian, and at the division of the property he had been declared disinherited because he had left the country on account of a crime and nothing more had been heard of him. hans' cottage stood on the shore of the fjord, just where it narrowed to a sound through which boats had to pass to reach the large fishing skerries. exactly opposite the sound lay a little island about one acre in extent. it consisted mostly of hillocks, but in a hollow between them some earth had collected, covered with very good grass, and a score of birches had sprung up. through his cottage windows hans could see the island which was part of a neighbour's property. one day during the spring thaw he sat and watched how the crows sailed on the pieces of ice in the sound; snow lay in patches on the banks, but there were glimpses of green in the clefts of the rocks. by chance he glanced over to the other shore and there perceived some movements going on which aroused his curiosity. some workmen were bringing stones and timber already hewn and cut as if for building a cottage, but he could see no vessel which had conveyed the materials or the workmen. he could not rest till he had sent a servant over to his neighbour to ask what was going on. the messenger returned with the news that a stranger from esthland had bought the island and was intending to build on it. this was all that hans could discover at present. but not long after he discovered that the new-comer was his own brother, christian, who had returned, accompanied by his wife whom he had married abroad. on mature consideration the risks for his freedom had not seemed great to him since no witnesses to hid adventurous plundering could be produced, and as regards the disappearance of the fishing-boat and the boring of holes in the others, there would only be a fine to pay, if his brother lodged a complaint against him. meanwhile the house grew higher and became such a stately building, with its outhouses, as to attract the attention of all who passed by, and to arouse the envy of hans. one day he said to his wife, "i begin to think that this old house must be rebuilt." "it is not long since that was done," she answered. but hans was wilful and had his own way. he was obliged to hire workmen who ate up his seed-corn and finished his winter stock of herrings. "pride comes before a fall," said people. during the winter hans sat in his large house and was half starved. in spring he had to sell a cow in order to buy seed. christian, on the other hand, lived comfortably in his roomy dwelling, though he possessed neither land, meadows, woods, fishing-grounds, cattle, nor yacht. hans and he never met. one evening the pastor, on his way from visiting a sick person, called in at hans' house, and sat by the fire to warm himself. "i cannot understand how he has his train-oil factory far away in esthland, and can sit here at home and manage it," said the pastor. "who?" asked hans. "he over there; christian, your brother." "train-oil factory? he told my neighbour he was a rope-maker." "rope-maker? that is strange! then one of us has heard wrong." while they were discussing the matter, there was a knock at the door and the bailiff entered. he had been engaged in his business out of doors. "it is quite incomprehensible," he said, "how one can sit here among the skerries and manage mines far away in russia." general commotion! christian was a scoundrel! the pastor must go over and speak with him and the bailiff must find out how he supported himself. the next day the pastor and the bailiff paid christian a visit. they were received on the bridge and conducted into the house, which was handsomely furnished like that of a rich man, so that all questions as to christian's means of subsistence were prevented. the floor was covered with smooth hewn planks, the fire-place was made of stone, and the walls were covered with hangings. christian's wife was lively and pretty; her hair was black and hung over her eyes. she went round and poured greek wine into their glasses while christian related the moat extraordinary adventures of his travels which the pastor and the bailiff, under the influence of wine, found quite credible. this went on till late at night, and the pastor was carried down to the boat on a pair of oars, bestowing his blessing on tools and buildings and not least on christian who had presented the church with a goblet of gilt silver. the bailiff, who had received a hunting-dog as a gift from christian, was guided by it down to the boat where, placing his fingers on a tub of herrings, he took an oath that christian was the most honourable man in the skerries. some time afterwards christian came home, after an excursion among the skerries, in a great sailing boat rigged with two lateen sails which could hold straight against the wind and needed not to be taken down when he turned. hans now had no more peace. he must have lateen sails. his wife had been weaving linen during the whole winter for new shirts; hans soon convinced her that the sails were more important. but he was also convinced, after bearing of the great reception which his brother had given to his guests, that a house-holder could not offer beer to his guests when a small-tenant offered wine. still, wine was very dear, and he had a sharp struggle with himself as well as with his wife. he said they could economise with milk, to which he attached no special importance, and that he was quite willing to give up his own share of it. the second cow was sold. meanwhile wonderful reports began to go about and were repeated. trollhättor was said to be haunted, and no one ventured to go there. flames had been seen dancing over the sea. about that time there was a shipwreck, accompanied by the unusual circumstance that not one of the crew was saved. it seemed still more peculiar that christian, shortly before the ship was driven on shore, had rented an inferior fishing ground among the outermost skerries, which had shallow banks and where no one wished to fish. he had been seen there carrying fishing-forks and lighting fires, but no one could understand why he went so far out with fishing-forks. the reports increased and became threatening. but the pastor and the bailiff, who were regular guests at christian's, took him vigorously under their protection, refuted the scandal, and thus the whole affair was forgotten. when the spring came hans had no seed-corn. he took no trouble about his patches of ground but let anything grow on them. he killed his own oxen for a baptism-feast which he held in march. no resource was now left to him but fishing. it was an insecure means of earning a living, almost like gambling. when he got nothing, he went hungry; when he had a good haul, he made a feast. his brother-in-law, who had a claim on his farm on account of his wife, caused him uneasiness also. when the week of prayer before easter arrived and the pastor came with the holy cross and the boys sang the litany round the fields in order to bless the seed sown, hans was ashamed to acknowledge that his field had no seed sown in it. then when only thistles appeared on it, people said he had betrayed the cross of christ. the next year hans had another son. then he burnt up his last wood and sowed turnips in the ashes. but christian sat on the shore exactly opposite, and saw how the beautiful island was changed to a bare skerry. he felt neither grief nor joy, but only found it instructive to watch the development of the affair. in autumn hans' turnip-crop failed, for the wood which had been a protection from the north wind was gone. one day, when their need was great and hans had gone out fishing, his wife took a punt and rowed over the sound. christian received her in a friendly way and bade her come into the guest-house where private conversations were generally held. she told him her great need and asked for help. christian made no objection but gave help generously, including a cow, seed-corn, and so on. hans' wife was moved, and confessed that her husband had not behaved well. christian said he knew nothing about that and did not mix in other people's affairs. so they parted. when she had gone, christian said to his wife, "olga, i have nothing more to do here. i have seen the punishment come without lifting my hand against my own flesh and blood. hans is a beggar; in winter he will become a thief, since he must steal wood, after having burnt his trees. his children will become servants, if nothing worse. and that is right! they taught me to lie, and the representative of the law made me a thief. i was honest, but they would not let me be so. now i could be so if i wished, for they have told me i can be an honorary magistrate, if i like to buy ground. but i will possess nothing of this earth for which men fight; i will not be respected by this society, who suspect that i am a scoundrel, and yet pardon me because i have a stone fire-place and drink wine. all my toils put together could not make me rich, you know, for one cannot become so by collecting skins and down. if i had lived three hundred years ago i would have been a pirate and my name would have been celebrated and cursed in the world. then i would have staked my life and won my bread in honourable battle; now i am a wreck-plunderer and a corpse-robber, who enjoy the respect of everyone except my own--and thine, olga. let us leave this country which had no place for us when we were honest, but opened its doors when we were dishonest. let us go where the earth has yet no owner, where the freeborn man can pasture his flocks, where the sky itself waters the grass, and the sun entices it to grow. your eyes, olga, ask me whether i shall not miss the old home where my childhood passed? i had no childhood; no one bade me welcome when i came, and no one says farewell when i go. when i saw you, olga, my childhood began, and where you are, there is my home." * * * * * in the evening the trollhättor was again haunted, and an incendiary set fire to christian's house. by the light of the fire his largest boat was seen sailing out in an easterly direction. christian sat at the helm, but his young wife sat in front by the main-sheet, keeping the look-out. higher aims it was so cold in the little country church that the breath came like smoke from the mouths of the priest and the boys who sang in the choir. the congregation, who listened to the mass standing, had been allowed to spread straw on the ground so that whenever they knelt at the ringing of the little bell, they should not be too chilled. to-day there were many people at mass, because they were expecting an unaccustomed spectacle at the end of the service. the priest was going to admonish an ill-assorted couple, who would not keep the peace and could not divorce each other because no crime had been committed. neither of them wished to leave their children and incur the disgrace of running away. the mass was concluded and the litany, a "miserere," sounded pathetically from the voices which trembled with cold. the sun shone redly through the frosted window-panes, and the burning wax candles gave no light at all, but looked merely like yellow blots over which the warmed air quivered. "agnus dei, qui tollis peccata mundi," sang the priest; the boys answered "miserere!" and the congregation joined in--deep clear men's voices and high soft women's voices--"miserere--have mercy upon us!" the last "miserere" sounded like a cry of despair, for at the same moment the married pair stepped from the hidden place by the door, which had been appointed for them, and went up the central aisle to the altar. the man was tall, powerfully built, with a brown beard, and limped somewhat; the woman had a small, slender figure with pliant outlines and graceful movements. her face was half hidden by a hood, so that one only saw a pair of pale blue eyes with a suffering expression, and the upper part of her white cheeks. the priest said a low prayer and turned to the congregation. he was a young man, not yet thirty, whose fresh, good-natured face seemed to be out of keeping with his long robe and the solemn, severe words which he uttered. he had long ago received the confessions of each of the married pair, and only delivered his admonition at the bishop's command. the discordant couple had been to the bishop and had asked him to dissolve their marriage, but the latter had found no reason to grant their request since the canonical law and the decretals only permitted divorce on account of sin, barrenness in certain cases, and the running away of husband or wife from hearth and home. the priest began his admonishment in a dry, expressionless voice, as though he did not believe what he said. he declared that marriage had been established by god himself, who had created woman from the man's rib to be a help to him; but since the man was created first and the woman subsequently, the wife should be subject to the husband, and he should be her lord. (here the little hood made a movement as though the wearer wished to speak.) the man on his side should treat his wife with respect because she was his honour, and by doing so he honoured himself in his wife. this was the teaching of st paul in his epistle to the corinthians, chapter seven, verse four, on which passage the decree of gratian was founded, declaring that the wife had not power over herself, but the husband. (the little hooded figure shook from head to foot, and the man nodded approvingly at the priest's words. the priest, who now fastened his eyes on the woman, changed his tone.) when the disciples came to jesus and asked whether divorce was permissible for married people, be answered and said: "what god hath joined, let not man put asunder," and for this reason the church did not allow the dissolution of marriage. the concessions made by earthly laws were only due to the wickedness of men and could not be approved by the church. life was not a rose-garden, and we must not demand too much from it. the preacher himself was married (as at that time catholic priests were allowed to be), he knew therefore how to judge in the matter; he knew that there must be give and take, if there was not to be quarrelling and strife. he had married this young couple and witnessed their first happiness; he had baptised their child and seen their love sanctified by parental joy. he reminded them of those unforgettable hours when life had given them its best and the future shone before them like a bright summer day. he adjured them by that recollection to reach each other their hands, and to forget all that had happened since the spirit of unrest had entered their hearts; he prayed them in the presence of that christian congregation, to renew the tie which in their selfishness they had sought to dissolve. there followed a moment of deep silence and expectation, while the congregation showed their impatience by pushing forward as far as the way they were packed together allowed. but the married pair remained motionless. then the priest seemed to become impatient, and in a voice trembling with annoyance and anger he again resumed. he spoke of the duties of parents towards their child, of god's wrath against an unforgiving temper, and said plainly that marriage was not meant to be merely a means of carnal indulgence or of increasing the population, but also--and he laid emphasis on this--of family education. he gave them till the following sunday to think it over, and bade them depart in peace. no sooner had he spoken the last word and made a gesture of dismissal with his hand, than the young wife turned and departed. coldly and calmly she passed between the rows of the congregation, and disappeared through the great entrance. the man hesitated a moment, then he sought the smaller door at the end of the transept. as the priest walked home with his wife, who had been present at mass, she said to him in a gentle but reproachful tone: "did you believe what you said?" "you are my conscience, dear woman, and you know my thoughts; spare me therefore a little, for the spoken word smites like a scourge." "then let the scourge smite! you know by their confessions that the union of this married pair is no true marriage, you know that this woman is a martyr whose life can only be saved by her keeping away from this man; you know this, and yet you exhort her to go towards her destruction." "the church, you see, my friend, has higher aims than the well-being of ordinary people." "i thought that the well-being of men, what you call their salvation, was the highest aim of the church. what then is the church's highest aim?" "the increase of god's kingdom on earth," answered the priest after some reflection. "let us consider!" said his wife. "it is said that only the saved shall dwell in god's kingdom. then the church is to save men." "in the higher sense, yes!" "in the higher sense; are there then two?" "a little foolish woman can ask more questions than seven wise men can answer," said the priest, and pressed his wife's hand. "then it is a bad look-out for the wisdom of the wise, for what will they answer when an intelligent person asks--when all the intelligent people in the world come and ask?" continued the foolish little woman. "they will answer that they do not know," whispered the priest. "you ought to say that aloud, and should have said it to-day in the church. your conscience is not pleased with you to-day." "then i will silence my dear conscience," said the priest, and kissed his wife, who was standing in the porch of their house. "that you cannot," she answered, "as long as you love me; and certainly not in that way." they stamped the snow from their feet and entered the little parsonage, where they were met by two small, healthy children, who wanted to kiss their father and mother. not the least cause of the heartiness of their welcome was the good sunday dinner which was cooking in the oven. the priest took off his long clerical coat and put on one more like a layman's. in this, however, he never showed himself to any member of his congregation but only to his family and the old cook. the table was laid, the floor was clean and white, and the cut fir twigs smelt sweetly. the father said grace and they took their seats at the table as glad and as much at peace with the world and with each other as though a heart had never been broken for the sake of "higher aims." * * * * * the snow had melted and the earth reeked and fermented with creative power. the parsonage was situated on the unsightly plain in uppland which is included in the ecclesiastical district of rasbo. wherever the eye looked there was only to be seen the stony ground, the clay soil, and some elder bushes which cowered like frightened hares before the never-ceasing wind. in the distance, on the horizon, were visible the tree-tops of the edge of a wood like the masts of a ship disappearing at sea. on the south side of the house the priest had planted some trees and hoed a little patch of ground where he cultivated flowers and vegetables, which in winter had to be covered with straw since they were not accustomed to this severe climate. a small stream which came from the woods in the north ran by the parsonage, and was large enough to row a punt on, if one kept exactly in the middle. dominus peder in rasbo had awakened at sunrise, kissed his wife and children, and gone to the church which lay a few stone's-throws from the parsonage. he had read the morning mass, blessed the work of the day, and come home again beaming with joy and cheerfulness. the larks, which certainly did not understand the difference between beauty and ugliness, had sung over the stony fields as though they blessed the meagre crop. water flowed murmuring in the ditches on whose edges gleamed yellow colt's-foot. the priest had come home, drunk his morning milk in the porch, and now he stood in his jerkin in the garden and released his flowers from their winter covering. he took a hoe and began to turn up the sleeping ground. the sun glowed; the work to which he was unaccustomed stirred his blood. he inhaled deep draughts of the strong spring air and felt as robust as though he had awakened to new life. his wife had opened the window-shutters on the sunny side of the house, and stood there dressing, while she watched her husband at work. "that is better than sitting over books," he said. "you ought to have been a peasant," she replied. "i could not, my dear! ah, how it does one's breast and back good! why do people think god has given us two long arms if they are not to be used." "yes, one does not need them to read with." "no! but to shovel snow, to hew wood, to dig the ground, to carry one's children, and to defend oneself--that's what they are for, and one is punished if one does not use them. we 'spiritual' men, we must not touch this sinful earth." "hush!" said his wife, and laid her finger on her mouth, "the children hear you." her husband took off his cap and wiped the perspiration from his brow. "'in the sweat of thy brow thou shalt eat bread,' so it is written. oh, how finely i sweat! that is something better than when anxiety at not being able to discover the sense of an obscure text makes one feel a cold sweat at the roots of one's hair, or when the spirits of doubt burn the goodness out of one's blood so that it creeps through the body like hot sand. do you see how the flesh on my arm quivers for joy at being able to move? see how the blue veins swell like streamlets in spring when the ice melts, my chest feels so broad that the seams of the jerkin crack; that is really better----" "hush!" said his wife, warning him again, and added, in order to divert the dangerous current of his talk, "you have released your flowers from their strait-waistcoats, but you have forgotten the poor animals who have stood all through the winter in their dark stable." "that is true," said the priest, and put the hoe aside; "but then the children must come out and see." he went at once to the cattle-house which stood at the back of the row of buildings of which the farm consisted; there he set free the two cows, opened the sheep and the calf sheds, then went up the little acclivity behind and opened the door of the pigsty. first came out one cow and stood in the door of the cow-house. the light seemed to dazzle her as she stretched out her neck and became aware of the sun; then she stepped carefully on the bridge and drew some deep breaths so that her stomach swelled; then she smelt the ground and as though seized by joyful recollections of the previous year, she erected her tail and danced up the little hill, leapt over stones and bushes and went off at full gallop. then followed the other cow, the calves and sheep, and lastly the pigs. but behind them came the priest with a stick, for he had forgotten to shut the garden gate, and now there was a race, in which the boys eagerly joined, to drive the animals out of the enclosure. but when the old cook saw her master run up the hill in his jerkin she was anxious what people would say and rushed out from the kitchen door, while his wife stood on the steps and laughed merrily. but the young priest was so boisterous and joyful and delighted as a child at witnessing the delight of the creatures at the end of their winter imprisonment, that he forgot both congregation and bishop and ran out on to the high-road in order to drive the animals on to the fallow ground. then he heard his wife call his name, and when he turned round he saw a woman standing by her in the porch. feeling ashamed and annoyed, he pulled his clothes straight, put his hair under his cap, and turned homewards assuming a solemn expression of face. as he came nearer he recognised the little woman whom he had exhorted in the charge regarding discord in marriage. he perceived that she wished for a conversation, and asked her to come in, saying he would follow as soon as he had changed his coat. in another coat and another mind he entered, after a time, the room where the unruly wife awaited him, and asked her business. she declared that she had come to an understanding with her husband that she should leave his house deliberately, since the church would not grant a divorce in any other way. the priest was impatient and wished straightway to quote the decretals and the epistle to the corinthians, when through the open window he heard the sound of a foot on the sanded garden-walk. he knew so well the light, soft step, and the crunching of the sand made an impression on his conscience. "the act you contemplate, woman," he said, "is courageous, but it is nevertheless a crime." "it is no crime; you only call it so," answered the woman decidedly, as though she had spent days and nights of despair in considering her action. the priest was irritated, and sought in his mind for some cutting words when he heard again the sound of sharp crunching on the sand outside. "you set a bad example to the congregation," he said. "a worse one, if i remain," said the woman. "you will be disinherited." "i know." "you will lose your reputation." "i know that too, but i will bear it for i am innocent." "but your child?" "i will take it with me." "what does your husband say to that? you have no claim on your child if you leave your home." "haven't i? not on my own child? then solomon's wisdom itself is not sufficient to solve this tangled knot. but i will tear it in two, if i can make an end by doing so. i came to you to ask for light and you lead me into a dark passage, where you put out the light and go your way. one thing i know: where love ceases, there only shame and humiliation remain; i will not live in sin, therefore i break off." outside deep breaths, as of suppressed feelings, were heard. the priest struggled with himself, then he said: "as the servant of the church, i have only to hold to the word of the lord, and that is hard as a rock. as a man, i can only say what my heart suggests but what is perhaps sin, for the human heart is a frail thing. go in peace, and put not asunder what god has joined." "no, not what god has joined, but what our parents arranged. have you not a word of comfort to say to me on the difficult path i have to tread?" the priest shook his head negatively. "may you not receive stones some day when you want bread," said the woman with an almost threatening look, and went out. the priest threw off his coat again, sighed, and tried to drive away the uncomfortable feelings which the interview had caused. when he came out, he approached his wife with the remark that he was sincerely sorry for the poor woman. "why didn't you tell her so?" broke in his wife, who seemed to be well posted in the matter. "there are things which one cannot say," answered her husband. "to whom cannot one say them?" "to whom? the church, like the state, my friend, are divine ideas, but being reduced to reality by weak men, are only imperfectly realised. therefore one cannot confess before ordinary mortals that these arrangements are imperfect, for then they would begin to doubt their divine origin." "but if one, seeing their imperfection, should doubt of their divine origin, and it should be shown, on examination, that they have no divine origin?" "i believe, by all the saints, that the devil of doubt reigns in the air of this time. do you not know that the first questioner plunged mankind into damnation? certainly it was not without reason that the papal legate in the recent church assembly called our land corrupted." his wife looked at him as if she wanted to see how far he was in earnest, whereon her husband answered with a smile, which showed that he was jesting. "you must not joke like that," said his wife. "i can so easily believe what you say. besides, i never know when you are serious or making fun. you believe partly what you say, but partly not. you are so wavering, as though you yourself had been possessed by those spirits in the air of which you spoke." in order not to proceed further in discussing a question which he preferred to leave untouched, the priest proposed to make a boat excursion to a pleasant spot which had the advantage of some leafy trees, and eat their midday meal there. presently he was plying his oars and the green punt shot over the smooth surface of the water, while the children tried to pull up the old reeds of the previous year, through whose dry leaves the spring wind whispered of resurrection from the winter's sleep. the priest had taken off his long coat and put on his jerkin, which he called his "old man." he pulled the oars strongly, like a practised rower, the whole half-mile to the birch-planted height, which lay like an island in the stony waste around. while his wife prepared the meal, he ran about with the children and plucked anemones and primroses. he taught them to shoot with bow and arrow, and cut willow-whistles for them. he climbed the trees, rolled on the grass like a boy, and let himself be driven like a horse with a bit in his mouth by the loudly laughing children. he grew ever more boisterous, and when the boys took the long coat which he had hung on a birch tree as a mark to shoot at, he began to laugh till he was purple in the face. but his wife looked carefully round on all sides to see whether anyone was watching them. "ah! let me be at any rate a man in god's free world of nature," he said. and she had no objection to make. the meal was laid on the grass, and the priest was so hungry that he forgot to say grace, which drew a remark from the children. "father does not say grace at table," they said. "i see no table," he answered, and stuck his thumb in the butter. this delighted the children immensely. "keep your feet still under the table, peter! don't lay your legs on the table, nils," he said, and the little ones laughed till they nearly choked. never had they been so jolly; never had they seen their father so cheerful, and he had constantly to repeat his jests, which they heard at each repetition with the same delight. but evening was coming on and they had to think of their return home. they packed up the things and got into the boat. they were still cheerful for a while, but soon the laughter grew silent and the children went to sleep on their mother's lap. the father sat quiet and serious, as one is after laughing much, and the nearer they approached the house the more silent he became. he tried at intervals to say something cheerful, but it sounded quite melancholy. the sun threw slanting rays over the huge fields; the wind had fallen; there reigned a depressing silence and deep stillness in all nature, only broken now and then by the lowing of cattle or the passionate crying of the cuckoo. "cuckoo in the north brings sorrow forth," said the priest, as though he would thereby give a long-sought expression to his melancholy. "that is only true of the first time one hears it," said his wife, comforting him. the roof of the cattle-shed was now visible, and behind it stood the church tower. they moored the punt by the bridge and the father took the two sleeping children and carried them into the house. then he kissed his wife and thanked her for the pleasant day; he would now go to church, he said, and read vespers. he took his book and went. when he came on the road the angelus was ringing. he hastened his steps. from a good distance he saw people moving in the churchyard. something unusual must be going on, as no one besides the sacristan generally attended vespers. he thought that someone had perhaps seen him on the island, and heard his conversation with his wife. he felt seriously anxious when he approached the church door, for there he perceived two horses with gorgeous trappings and an archdeacon with his retinue from upsala, where the archbishop lived. the archdeacon seemed to have been waiting, for he went immediately towards the priest and said that he wished to make a communication to him when vespers were over. never had the priest read the evening service so fervently, and with deep anxiety he invoked the protection of all the saints against unknown dangers. he cast a glance now and then at the door, where he saw the archdeacon standing like an executioner waiting for his victim, and when he had said "amen" he went with heavy steps to receive the blow, for now he was certain that a misfortune was impending. "i did not wish to visit you in your house," began the archbishop's messenger, "because my business is of such a nature that it demands a quiet place and the proximity of the holy things which strengthen our hearts. i have a message from the church council to deliver which will deeply affect the intimacies of your private life." here he broke off, for he saw his victim's anxiety, and handed over a parchment which the young priest unrolled and read: "dilectis in christo fratribus (dear brothers in christ), episcopus, sabinensis, apostolicae sedis legatis (the bishop of sabina, legate of the roman chair)----" his eyes flew over the crowded letters, till they stopped all at once at a line which seemed to be written in fire, for the young man's features became as pale as ashes. the archdeacon seemed to feel sympathy with him and said: "it appears that the demands of the church are severe: before the close of the year the marriages of all priests are to be dissolved, for a true servant of the lord cannot live united to a wife without defiling the holy things which he handles, and his heart cannot be divided between christ and a sinful descendant of the first woman." "'what god hath joined, that shall not man put asunder,'" answered the priest as soon as he came to himself. "that is only true for ordinary people; but when the higher aims of the church of christ demand it, then what would otherwise be wrong becomes lawful. and mark well the distinction--'_man_ shall not put asunder.' the saying, therefore, simply refers to man acting as the divider; but here god acts through his servant, and sunders what god has united, therefore it does not apply here." "but god has ordained marriage himself," objected the broken man. "just what i say, and therefore he has a right to dissolve it." "but the lord does not desire this sacrifice from his weak servant." "the lord commanded abraham to sacrifice his son." "but our hearts will break." "just so; hearts ought to break--that makes them more ardent in piety." "i that can never be the wish of a loving god." "the 'loving' god caused his own son to be slain on the cross. the world is no pleasure-garden, but merely vain and transient, and you may comfort yourself with the thought that the decretals----" "no, for god's sake, don't talk to me of decretals! archdeacon, in heaven's name give me a spark of hope; dip the tip of your finger in water and quench this fire of despair which you have kindled. say that it is not possible; try to believe that it was only a proposal which was not adopted." the archdeacon pointed to his seal and said, "presentibus consulentibus et consentientibus (it is already decided and confirmed). and as regards the decretals, my young friend, there are in them such treasures of wisdom that they may well serve to clear up a clouded mind, and if i want to give a good friend a piece of good advice, i say, 'read the decretals; read them early and late, and you will find that they make you feel calm and happy.'" the unhappy priest thought of the stones which he had given on the morning of the same day to the despairing woman, and bowed his head to the blow. "therefore," concluded the archdeacon, "enjoy the short time left; the summer wind has blown, the flowers have sprung up in the field, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land. on st sylvester's day _ultimo mensis decembris_ i come here again, and then must your house be swept and garnished, as though christ the lord was about to enter, under penalty of excommunication. till then you can study the decree more closely. farewell, and forget not to read the decretals." he mounted his white horse and rode away in order to reach the next parish before night and to spread grief and misery there, like the rider in the apocalypse. dominus peder in rasbo was crushed. he did not venture to go home at once but rushed into the church, where he fell down by the altar. the doors of the gilded altar-triptych stood open, and the saviour's progress to calvary was illumined by the red rays of the evening sun. the priest was at this moment not the justiciary of a minatory and threatening lord, but he lay like one of the chastised flock and prayed for mercy. he looked up to the image of christ but found no sympathy there. the saviour took his cup from the hand that offered it and emptied it to the dregs; he carried his cross on his mangled back up the steep hill where he was to be crucified, but over the crucified heaven opened. there was then something over and beyond all these sorrows. the priest began to examine into the reasons of these great human sacrifices which were about to take place all over the country. the church had seen how men began to doubt in the priest's right to be judge and executioner, for they had found their judges full of human weaknesses. now the priests must show that for christ's sake they could tear their hearts out of their breasts and lay them on the altar. "but," continued his rebellious reason, "christianity has done away with human sacrifices." he went on thinking, and the idea occurred to him that perhaps there was something underlying the old heathen sacrifices. abraham was a heathen, for he did not know christ, and he was ready to offer his son at god's command. christ was sacrificed; all holy martyrs are sacrificed--why should he be spared? there was no reason why he should, and he had to acknowledge that if people were to continue to believe in his preaching they could also demand that, he should sacrifice his dearest himself, for he and his wife were one. he had to acknowledge this, and he felt a peculiar new enjoyment in the thought of the terrible sufferings which awaited him. pride also came to his support and pointed to the martyr's crown which would elevate him above this congregation, on whom he was accustomed to look down from the high altar, but who had begun to raise their heads and defiantly threatened to storm this lofty position. strengthened and elevated by this thought, he rose and passed within the altar-rails. he was, in his own eyes, no more the crushed sinner, but the righteous man who deserved to stand by christ's side for he had suffered as much as he. he looked proudly down on the praying-stools which in the twilight resembled penitents kneeling, and he hurled the denunciations of a prophet on their heads because they would not believe in his preaching. he tore his coat open and showed them his bleeding breast in which an empty gap showed that he had given god his heart. he bade those of little faith to put their hands in his side and let themselves be carried over by him. he felt himself grow during his suffering, and his over-excited imagination transported him into an ecstasy, so that the operations of thought seemed momentarily suspended and he believed that he was one with christ. further than that he could not go, and he collapsed like a sail which has been split by the wind, when the sexton came in to close the church. on the way home be felt unhappy because his ecstasy was over, and he would have gladly returned to the church had not an indefinite something, which expressed itself as a faint sense of duty, summoned him home. the nearer he approached the more his religious emotions cooled, and the smaller therefore he felt himself. but when he entered the door, his wife received him with open arms, asking him uneasily why he had remained out so long; and when he felt the friendly glow of his hearth, and saw the children peacefully asleep with rosy cheeks, he realised the preciousness of what he had now to surrender. he felt all his young blood well up in his opened heart, and was conscious of the reawakening of the omnipotent force of first love which can bear everything. he swore never to leave the beloved of his heart, and the married pair felt themselves young again. they sat together till midnight talking of the future and how to escape the danger which threatened them. * * * * * the summer passed for the happy pair like a beautiful dream, during which they forgot the wakening which awaited them. meanwhile the papal decree had become known to the congregation, who heard of it with a sort of malicious satisfaction--partly because they did not grudge their spiritual superiors a little purgatorial fire, and partly because they hoped to get their priests more cheaply when they had to live as celibates. moreover, there were in the congregation a number of pious people who received whatever came from bishop and pope as though it came from heaven. they discussed the question thoroughly and adhered to the view that a priest's marriage was sinful. these pious people, who had expected to see the parsonage purified immediately after the promulgation of the decree, began to murmur when they saw that their pastor gave no signs whatever of intending to obey it. the murmuring grew in strength when the church-tower happened to be struck by lightning. this was followed by a failure in the harvest. the voices of complaint became louder and the pious party sent a deputation to the parsonage to declare that they did not intend to receive the sacrament at the hands of a priest who lived in sin. they demanded that he should separate from his wife, because any more children which might be born would be illegitimate, and they threatened to purify the parsonage with fire if it were not pure by the end of the year. for a long time after that the pair were left in peace, but a marked change began to be observable in the priest. he went oftener into the church than he needed to, and remained there till late in the evening. he was reserved and cold towards his wife, and seemed as though he were nervous to meet her. he would take his children for hours on his lap and caress them without saying a word. at martinmas, in november, the archdeacon from the cathedral city came on a visit and had a long talk with the priest. that night the latter slept in the attic and continued to sleep there. his wife said nothing, but saw the course of events without the prospect of being able to alter anything. her pride forbade her to make any advance, and as her husband began to take his meals alone, they met seldom. he was as pale as ashes, and his eyes were sunken in his head; he never ate in the evening, and slept on the bare ground under a sealskin rug. then came christmas-time. two days before christmas the priest came into the house and sat by the oven. his wife was mending the children's clothes. for some time there was a dreadful silence; at last the man said: "the children must have something for christmas; who will go to the town?" "i will," answered his wife, "but i take the children with me. do you agree?" "i have prayed the lord that this cup might pass from me, but he has not willed it, and i have answered, 'let not my will but thine be done!'" "are you sure that you know the lord's will?" said his wife submissively. "as sure as my soul lives!" "i will go to-morrow to my father and mother, who are expecting me," said his wife in a sad but firm voice. the priest stood up and went out hastily, as though he had heard his death-sentence. the evening sky was sparkling and cold, the stars glimmered in the blue-grey depths, and the boundless expanse of the snow-covered plain lay before the despairing wanderer, whose way seemed to point towards the lowest stars of the sky, which seemed as though they had risen out of the white earth. he wandered and wandered on and on; he felt like a tethered horse which runs but is pulled back by the rope whenever it thinks itself free. he passed by houses brightly lit up, and saw how people scoured and swept and baked and cooked in preparation for the approaching christmas. thoughts of his own approaching christmas awoke in him. he imagined his house unheated, unlighted, without her, without the children. his feet were burning but his body felt freezing. he went on and on without knowing whither. at last he stood before a house. the shutters were fastened, but a ray of light shone out and threw a yellow gleam upon the snow. he went nearer and put his eye to the chink. he saw into a room in which the seats and tables were covered with clothes--little children's shirts, stockings and coats. a large box stood open; on the cover of it hung a white dress whose graceful shape attracted his attention; it evidently belonged to a young woman, and on one shoulder was fastened a green garland. was it a shroud or a bridal dress? he wondered with himself why corpses and brides were dressed in the same way. he saw a shadow thrown upon the wall--sometimes it was so large that it was broken by the ceiling and vanished in it; sometimes it crept down to the floor. at last it remained stationary on the upper part of the white dress. a small head wearing a cap was thrown into sharp relief against the bright background. this forehead, this nose, this mouth was familiar to him. where was he? the shadow sank into the box, and into the light there came a face which could belong to no living person, so pale and unspeakably suffering did it appear. it looked him in the eyes so that they smarted, and he felt the tears roll down his cheeks and melt the snow on the window-ledge. the eyes of the face were so soft and pleading that he thought he saw st katherine on the wheel, praying the emperor decius for mercy. yes, that was she, and he was the emperor. should he grant her mercy? no; "give that which is cæsar's unto cæsar," says the scripture. no mercy! but he could not endure these looks, if he was to continue to be strong; therefore he must go. he now went into the garden, where the snow lay deep on his straw-covered flower-beds so that they looked like little children's graves. who lay in them? his children. his happy, rosy-cheeked children, whom god had commanded him to sacrifice, as abraham sacrificed isaac. but abraham escaped with only a fright. that must be a god of hell, who could be so inhuman. it must be a bad god who preached love to men but himself behaved like an executioner. he would go at once and seek him; seek him in his own house, speak with him, and demand an explanation. he left the garden and waded through the snow-drifts till he reached a little fir tree by the wood-shed, and laid hold of it. that was a christmas-tree like one the children would have danced round had they lived. now he remembered that he wanted to seek the god who had taken his children in order to bring him to account. the church was not far, but when he came to it it was closed. then he became frantic. he scraped away the snow till he got hold of a large stone, and with that he began to hammer the door till the echoes from the church sounded like thunder, while he shouted loudly: "come out, moloch, child-devourer! i will split up your stomach! come out, st katharine and all saints and devils! you must fight with the emperor decius in rasbo! oho! you come from behind, legions of the abyss!" he turned round to the churchyard, and with the strength of a madman he broke down a young lime tree, and using it as a weapon he attacked the crowd of little grave-crosses which with out-stretched arms seemed to be marching against him. they did not flinch, and he mowed them down like death with his scythe, not stopping till he had laid every one flat and the ground was covered with splinters of wood. but his strength was not yet exhausted. now he would plunder the corpses of his enemies and collect the dead and wounded. load after load he carried to the wall of the church and piled them under a window. when he had finished he climbed on the pile, broke a pane of glass, and got into the church. the inside was quite lit up by the northern lights which had hitherto been hidden from him by the high roof of the church. he made a new raid on the threatening prayer-stools, which he battered into a heap of fragments. his eyes now rested on the high altar, where throned above the pictures of the passion a figure sat on a cloud with the lightnings of the law in his hand. the priest crossed his arms and regarded defiantly the severe figure on the cloud. "come down!" he shrieked. "come down! we will wrestle together!" when he saw that his challenge was not accepted, he seized a block of wood and hurled it at his enemy. it crashed on a plaster ornament, which fell down and raised a cloud of dust. he took another piece of wood and then another and hurled them with the mounting rage of disappointment. the clouds fell piece by piece, while he laughed loudly, the lightnings were torn out of the hand of the figure; at last the heavy piece of carving fell with a terrible crash on the altar and smashed the candlesticks in its fall. but then the blasphemer was seized with a panic and sprang out of the window. * * * * * on the morning of the day before christmas a parishioner had seen a strange sight by the hedge of the parsonage garden. a sledge came out of the enclosure containing a woman, two children, and a servant, and was driven westwards. at about a quarter of a mile distant it was followed by the priest running and calling out for the sledge to stop. but it had continued to proceed till it vanished round a bend of the high-road. then the priest had fallen into a snow-drift, shaking his clenched fist against the sky. later information came to the effect that the priest lay very ill with fever, and that the devil, in anger that he had not overcome the servant of the lord in the battle waged for the dissolution of his marriage, had raged in the most terrible way in the church. but in order to enter it, and to exercise his power there, he had first broken down all the crosses in the churchyard. all this restored the priest's reputation and even gave him an appearance of sanctity, which especially pleased the pious party who had been the instigators of the purification of the parsonage. * * * * * the priest lay ill for three months and could not go out till april. he had become old. his face was full of angles, his eyes had lost their brightness, his mouth was half open, his back was bent. on the south side of the house he had a seat where he could sit in the warmth of the sun, buried in dreams of the past which hardly possessed any reality for him, especially as he had received no news from those whom he had once called his own. then the month of may returned with flowers and the song of birds. the priest went into his garden and saw how it was overgrown with weeds; his precious flowers were killed by the frost because no one had seen to their being covered, and they now lay mouldering like rags upon the earth. it never occurred to him for a moment to break up the soil round the flower-beds or to do anything else of the kind, since he had no one for whom to work and there would be no tending hand to protect the young growths. he stood by the fence and looked out over the landscape. the plain stretched away in the sunlight and the little brook rippled merrily and invited his eyes to follow the little wavelets, which danced by and aroused his longing to follow them southwards, where they met the river. he unmoored his boat, sat in it without touching the rudder, and let it drift with the stream, gliding on thus for about two hours. suddenly he was aware of the fresh scent of budding birches and spring flowers. he looked round; the plain had ceased, and he found himself at the beginning of the little birch wood. memories of the previous year rose in him; bright, phantom-like images hovered above the primroses and anemones. he stepped on shore and went up the hill. here they had eaten their lunch; here on this branch hung the coat at which the boys had shot with their bows. he saw the hole which he had bored in the birch tree to draw off the sap, which the little ones had drunk. the willow still bore scars from the knife with which he had cut arrows. he found an arrow in the grass; how they had hunted for it--the best he had ever cut, which flew above the top of the highest birch tree! he hunted in the grass and bushes like a pointer; he upturned the stones, bent back the branches, raised up the previous year's grass, scratched away the leaves. what he sought for exactly he did not know, but he wished to find something which might remind him of her. finally he stood by a hawthorn bush; there hung a small fragment of a piece of red woollen cloth on a thorn. it was set in motion by the wind and fluttered like a pretty butterfly between the white hawthorn blossoms--a butterfly pierced by a needle. then there came a second gust of wind and turned it round, so that it looked like a bleeding heart--a heart that was torn from a victim's breast and hung on a tree. he took it down from the bush, held it to his mouth, breathed on it, kissed it, and hid it in his hand. here she had played "soldiers" with the children, and they had trodden on her dress. he lay down on the grass and wept; he called her name and the children's. so long did he weep that he fell asleep from exhaustion. when he awoke he remained lying as he was for a time and looked with half-closed eyes over the grass meadow. his eyes fell on a large willow bush whose yellow tassels hung like golden ears of corn in the sunshine. his tears had calmed him and produced a certain peace in his mind; sorrow and joy had ceased, and his soul felt in equipoise. the reason that his eye rested on the willow bush was that it was directly in his line of sight. a gentle wind swayed the branches lightly, and their movement seemed to soothe his tear-reddened eyes. suddenly the branches of the bush stopped swaying with a jerk; there was a rustling, and a hand bent the boughs to one side; a sunlit female figure appeared framed in the gold of the willow tassels and the green of the tender leafage. he still lay a while watching the beautiful sight, as when one looks at a picture. then his eyes met hers, which looked out of the bush like two stars; they kindled, as it were, flame in his expiring spirit. his body rose from the earth and his feet carried him forward; he stretched out his arms, and the next moment he felt a small warm creature nestle on his stony bosom, which was again filled with the breath of life, and a long kiss melted the ice which had so long held his spirit imprisoned. * * * * * eight days later the archdeacon came on a visit to the parsonage at rasbo. he found the priest happy and contented. the archdeacon had a commission which made him somewhat embarrassed, and he found he had to express himself suitably. rumours, he said, had been heard in the congregation which had reached to the archbishop's chair. one should not certainly believe all reports, but the mere fact of a report arising was itself half a proof. the priest, to speak plainly, was said to be having assignations with a woman. the archbishop was fully aware of the storm which the papal bull regarding priests' marriages had occasioned. the holy father himself had recognised the cruelty involved in the new law, and had therefore thought it advisable through a special "licentia occulta" (a secret permission) to make the lives of the clergy less difficult. woman, it must be admitted, was the presiding genius of home life. here the current of his eloquence stopped, and in a low, scarcely audible voice the messenger of christ whispered the secret sanction. the priest answered, "then the church does not allow a priest to have a wife, but only a mistress?" "don't use such strong words! we call it a 'housekeeper.'" "well then," said the priest, "if i take my wife as a housekeeper, the church has nothing against it?" "no! no! take any other, but not her. the aims of the church! remember!" "the _higher_ aims of the church," you said. "so it was to annul the right of inheritance and to get possession of land that the church insisted on divorce, not in order to check sin! you consider therefore the unlawful seizure of other people's property as 'higher aims.' very well then! i will have nothing to do with the church. excommunicate me, and i will consider it an honour to be excluded from the fellowship of the noble church. depose me from my office, and i will be so far away before you have been able to write your proclamation that you will never be able to find a trace of me. greet the holy father from me, archdeacon, and tell him that i do not accept his dirty offer. greet him and say that the gods whom our forefathers worshipped above the clouds and in the sun were greater and much purer than these roman and semitic cattle-drivers whom you have foisted upon us. greet him and say that you have met a man who will devote his whole future life to converting christians to heathenism, and that a day will come when the new heathen will undertake crusades against the vicegerent of christ and his followers who wish to introduce the custom of sacrificing men alive, whereas the heathen contented themselves with killing them. and now, archdeacon, take your decretals and go away before i flog you soundly. you have nearly killed two people here with your invisible 'higher aims,' and the whole land calls down a curse on you. go with my curse; break your legs on the high-road; die in a ditch; may the lightning strike you and robbers plunder you; may the ghosts of your dead relations haunt you; may incendiaries set your house on fire--for i excommunicate you from the society of all honourable men, as i excommunicate myself from the holy church! get out!" the archdeacon did not remain long in the parsonage; nor did the priest, for his wife and children were waiting for him by the hill planted with birch trees on the way to the wood on the border of vestmanland, where he was going to plant a settlement. paul and peter christmas eve lay bitterly cold and silent as death over stockholm; everything living seemed to be frozen; there was not a breath of wind and the stars seemed to be flickering like little flames in order to keep themselves alive. a lonely watchman ran up and down the street to keep his feet from freezing, and the beams cracked in the old wooden houses. in the dwelling of the tradesman paul hörning in the drachenturm street his wife had already risen. she did not venture to light a candle or to kindle a fire, for the early-morning bell in the city church had not sounded, but she expected it every moment for she knew it was about four o'clock. the whole household was going to early christmas mass at spånga, and must have something warm first. she searched for her sunday clothes which she had laid on a chair, and dressed herself in the dark as well as she could; but as she found waiting in the darkness wearisome, she lit a horn-lantern, trusting that the watchman would respect the peace of christmas and not raise an alarm, and then she stole around the low little rooms. her husband was still half asleep and little sven was far away in the land of dreams, although he lay with his head on a wooden horse and a feather ball in his hand. karin, who had been confirmed in the autumn, was still asleep behind the curtain, and had hung her new velvet jacket and her necklace of bohemian crystal on the bedpost. the christmas-tree, with its red apples and spanish nuts, threw long, jagged shadows over everything and made it look ghostly in the faint light. the mother went out into the kitchen and awoke lisa in the box-room, who started up with tempestuous hurry and lit the candle in the iron candlestick; she was not anxious about the light being seen, for she was good friends with the night-watchman truls, and besides, the kitchen lay at the back of the house. then the mother knocked on the ceiling with the broom handle for olle the shop-boy, who slept in the attic, and he knocked three times with his shoes in reply. after that she went again into the bedroom and sewed a hook and eye firmly on her husband's starched and smoothly ironed shirt with its stiff collar. then she took little sven's red stockings out of the great oak chest, and held them against the light, and busied herself with one or two other small matters. finally she awoke karin, who put two small freshly bathed feet in straw shoes and began to dress behind the curtain, for there was very little room. sven awoke of his own accord; his cheek had a red mark where it had rested on the wooden horse, and he began at once to throw his feather ball, which flew over the curtain and hit his father on the nose, awaking him, so that he grunted a greeting of "happy christmas!" from his huge bed which was built like a small house. sven wanted to run behind the curtain and see his sister's christmas presents, but she screamed and said he mustn't for she was just washing herself. then the city church bell began to ring for early mass; all murmured a blessing. mother set the chandelier in the large room; sven came there with nothing but his shirt on and sat under the christmas-tree trying to make himself and others believe that he was in a wood. then be gnawed the back side of an apple so that it should not be seen, but the apple revolved on the thread by which it was suspended; mother came and said she would slap him if he did not go at once and dress himself. lisa lit the fire on the hearth so that the flame roared up the chimney, and placed the milk kettle on it; mother spread a cloth over the great table in the sitting-room and set out the plates, putting the brightly polished silver jug in father's place, then she cut slices of bread and butter and ham, for one must have something before going out so early. olle had already been a good time on his legs and gone into the stable; he had awakened jöns the stable-man and curry-combed the chestnut horses. the sledge was drawn out of the coach-house and the rugs were dusted; soon the sledge stood in the street and olle kindled the torches, which lit up the walls of the house like a conflagration. jöns cracked the whip as a signal that the horses had been harnessed, and the latter snorted and scraped the ground with their hoofs to show their impatience. in the house they were searching for their upper garments--furs and hoods, cloth-shoes and muffs; karin, who was ready first, went down and offered olle and jöns a drink of hot ale. when paul hörning was dressed he took a glass of french mulled wine. his wife locked everything up and came after him with sven and lisa, and so they were all safe and sound outside in the street. the sledge was a strong one, as roomy as a barge, and had three seats; on the first sat paul and his wife and little sven, on the second, karin and olle, and on the last lisa and jöns with the torches. paul got in last for he had to see whether the horses were properly shod, and whether the harness was straight; then he got in, and his weight made the body of the sledge creak. he took the reins, asked once more if anything had been forgotten, cracked the whip, nodded to the windows of his old wooden house, and then they were off! first to the great market, where they met other good friends among the horse-possessing citizens of stockholm. there they sat already in their sledges--stout brewers and thin bakers, and the whole market-place was lighted up by their smoking torches. the horses' bells tinkled, and now the whole procession began to move down the slope and out of the northern city gate. "i am wondering how brother peter will receive us this year," said paul to his wife when they had settled down for the drive. "why so?" she asked, somewhat uneasily. "oh, of course, he has no reason, but i think i annoyed him too much last year about the salt, and since then, according to my observation, he has been rather reserved." "well, if it were so he would not show it, i think; you two do not meet so often, and although you are not real brothers, you have always considered yourselves such." "but mats is very resentful, and if there were the slightest difficulty, it would stop all prospect of a match between him and karin. we will see! we will see!" little sven sat below in the straw and held the ends of the reins in the belief that he was driving. olle, the shop-boy, tried to talk sentimentally to karin, but her thoughts were somewhere else and she did not answer; lisa, however, let jöns hide her hand in his great glove, and sometimes she helped him to hold the torch when his hand froze. outside the city they passed under the ridge of the brunkeberg, over the moor, and on the high-road towards upsala. soon between the fir trees the lights of the church of solna were visible, glimmering in the dark winter morning. here paul parted from his fellow-townsmen, who remained there because they wished to go by the westeras road to spånga. soon little sven was wondering at the great christmas-trees on both sides of the road, which were lit up at intervals by the torches and immediately hidden in darkness again. he thought he saw kobolds standing behind the tree-trunks with their red caps and beckoning, but his father told him they were only the red reflections of the torches flying and running, for his father was an intelligent townsman who no longer believed in kobolds. sven thought that the great christmas-trees were running along by the side of the sledge, and that the stars were dancing over their tops, but his mother told him that god dwelt in the stars and that they were dancing to-day for joy that the christ-child was born, and sven quite understood that. now they passed over a bridge which rumbled under the horses' hoofs, the wood became clearer, the plain expanded before them, and little hills planted with birch copses appeared here and there. presently a light shone from a cottage window and they saw someone carrying a torch towards it. in the distance above the plain appeared the morning-star, shining very large and bright. olle the shop-boy told karin that it was the star which had led the shepherds to bethlehem, but karin knew that herself, for in a large town one knows everything, and olle was from the country. the road took one more turn, and through the long boughs of the leafless lime trees the church could be seen with all its windows brightly lit up. by the church wall the torches had been thrown into a great blazing pile by which the coachmen warmed themselves after they had taken the horses to the stable. paul cracked his whip, swept past the bonfire in a stately curve, and made his chestnut horses curvet before the admiring peasants. at the church door they met peter and his wife and his tall son mats. they embraced each other, wished each other a happy christmas, and asked after one another's health. after they had talked for a while, the bells rang a second time, and then they entered the church. there it was as cold as though one were sitting in the sea, but they did not feel it for they froze in good company, and for the rest they had the preaching and the singing to keep them warm. the young ones had so much to look at; they went about and greeted each other, and were never tired of staring at the great chandeliers. when at last the early service was at an end and they came out again on the hill, the stars shone no longer, but in the east the sky was reddish yellow like a ripe apple. then they trotted quickly to peter's house. it was a large one with back premises, guest-rooms, and bed-rooms on the attic floor. by one of the railing posts was tied an unthreshed sheaf of corn on which the sparrows had already settled and were keeping christmas; at the house door stood two fir trees which sparkled in the frost. peter placed himself there and bid his foster-brother and his belongings welcome; then they entered the house and took off their furs. peter's wife, who had gone before them, stood by the fire and heated ale, his son mats helped karin to take off her fur, and sven was already rolling in the christmas straw which covered the ground to the depth of half a yard. paul and his wife were led to the sofa and took their place under the blue and red hangings on which were depicted christ's entry into jerusalem, and the three wise men, while peter sat down in a high armchair. the long table presented a stately appearance, for there was not a handbreadth which was not covered with a dish or a bowl. the table was laid for the whole of christmas, and all the eatables in the house were set out on it: a whole boar's head grinned on a red painted wooden plate, surrounded by brawns, tongues, joints and briskets; there were butter-dishes and loaves, cakes and wafers; jugs of sweet-scented juniper-wood filled with foaming christmas beer. the red light of early morning shone on the little green, hoar-frosted windows, and it looked as though it were summer outside; but within, the great fire on the hearth spread a splendid warmth. peter took his pocket-knife and cut slices of bread, spreading butter thickly upon them with his thumb, and invited his guests to do the same. when the hot ale had been drunk, the taciturn host opened the conversation, for paul was a little embarrassed how to begin. "did you have a good journey from the town or not?" "splendid!" answered paul. "the chestnuts ran along like lightning!" but peter did not like the town horses and always ignored them when paul made an ostentatious allusion to them. "is corn selling well this christmas?" he continued. "the price is low, for those confounded livlanders had a fine harvest." "and you grudge it them! don't curse the harvest, brother! you don't know what you may come to. the more one curses the she-goat, the more it prospers!" "but i must live too!" "plough, rake and sow, and you will reap." "ah, the old story!" "yes, the old story! the priest reads in the church and prays god for a good harvest, and the tradesman in the town grumbles when god gives it. to the deuce with such people who wish to thrive on the needs of others!" paul was about to answer but now the two wives intervened and begged them for heaven's sake to keep the christmas peace. the two opponents were silent, and threw angry glances at each other; but mats and karin drank at the same corner of the table out of the same jug, and the two old women looked at each other with a meaning smile. "pass me the salt," said peter, and stretched out his arm. mats passed his father the salt, but spilt some on the table-cloth. "be careful with god's gift," said peter. "salt is very dear." paul felt the thrust, but kept silence. the women gave a new turn to the conversation, and a storm was averted. when paul and peter had finished eating they went out in order to get fresh air and to inspect the fields and animals. they began by visiting the cattle-stall. "what will you give me for this?" asked peter, pulling the calf's tail. "when he is an ox, and you bring him to the town in the spring, i will tell you." "there is nothing to prevent me, but i won't bring my ox to town." "we shall see," said paul. "what shall we see?" asked peter, and looked at him with his head on one side. "i understand your dodges well enough, but though a sow may get her snout through a paling it does not follow that she will get her body through too." "we shall see! we shall see!" peter would not ask any more. they went on and came to the stable. "what will you give me for this?" asked peter, lifting the black stallion's hind leg. "it is ten and a quarter to its backbone." "my left chestnut is eleven, and the right is ten and a half," said paul. peter did not apparently hear this, but opened the stallion's mouth in order to show its fine teeth. "that horse is like a sheep," said paul. "you try that with the chestnut, and you will never hear a cuckoo again." "everyone speaks to his like," said the muller, and talked to the sow. the conversation would not flow. they looked at the sheep and the pigs, but either paul's interest seemed forced, or the proximity of the chestnut horses, who were in the stable close by, had a disturbing effect; at any rate, they were out in the fresh air again and took a walk in the fields. the snow prevented peter going into effusive details, but he pointed out where he had done his autumn sowing, where the spring sowing would take place, and where the fallow ground lay. then they had to inspect the stacks of wood and straw to see whether they were dry or damp, to find out whether the bees were frozen in their hives, and whether it was too hot for the geese in their house. by this time it was nearly noon and the bell rang for high mass. then they went again into the church and had a midday nap and went home to eat. they ate for three hours and then enjoyed the twilight. the elder men sat in their chairs and nodded; their wives sat by the fire which blazed so brightly that it dispelled the darkness, and chatted about weaving and baking. mats and karin had seated themselves on a box and whispered about their affairs. olle the shop-boy had his arm round lisa and jöns his round the maid-servant; they sat on the ground and guessed riddles whose solution caused little sven great difficulty. but the glow on the hearth became more subdued, the talk became more intermittent; the elders snored, the women nodded, and mats and karin nestled closer together; the lads and maid-servants became still, and soon an afternoon sleep prevailed throughout the house. peter's wife awoke first, and it was quite dark; she blew up the fire on the hearth and made a blaze. the men woke up gradually and there was a stir in the room. the youths, girls, and women sat down in the christmas straw round the fire to crack nuts and tell stories. paul fetched a bottle of spanish wine, with which to make himself and peter jolly while they talked and played cards to while away the long winter evening. when they had filled their glasses and drunk to each other, peter remarking that the wine was too sweet, paul boldly seized the threads of the conversation in order to bring them into order and began: "now, brother peter, if you want us to talk about a matter you know of, draw out the cork and let it flow." "that's all right," said peter, "but i have always thought when the right abraham comes, sarah dances. good! what will you give your boy?" "just as much as you give your girl." peter scratched his head. "it depend! what sort of year this is. the dowry runs into money, and if i have a bad year, there will be no money, and one does not know how it will go, for the snow came in autumn on the seed when the fields were wet." "just the same with me," said paid. "we will let it stand over till the autumn, and if we can both produce the same amount we will let the organ blow, as the verger says, and if fortune is kind the ox will calve as well as the cow." "very well! and so the matter remains: the boy and the girl must wait till the corn is in the ear." then they began to drink; but the younger ones had pushed away the straw and sat in a circle to "hunt the slipper." paul and peter sat for a while looking on at the game; at last paul felt exhilarated by drinking, and felt strongly tempted to start a more lively conversation. he knew very well how to do so. "well, peter," he resumed, "are you coming to the city this winter?" peter showed his teeth like an ill-tempered dog, looked at paul to see if he meant it seriously, and said: "n-no! i don't think i shall!" "still as prejudiced against the town as ten years ago? what! can you not bear to look at it through seven palings?" "i wouldn't have it as a gift, if you threw it at me! i don't need it at all, but it can't live without me." "so you say!" "so i say! i have meat and hay, beer and bread, fuel and timber, house and clothing; what do i want with you then? i build my house, i plough my field, i cut my wood; my old woman spins my yarn, weaves my coat, bakes my bread, and brews my beer. what do you do? you tax my crop; you impose tolls on my wood; you empty my granary. you settle down on a stone as bald as the palm of my hand; you neither sow nor plough, but you reap and gather into barns; you eat my bread and drink my beer; you burn my wood and spin my wool; you sit there like a lazy monk and take tithe, and what do you give me for it?" "listen! listen!" stammered paul. "don't you get my salt?" "your salt! you make no salt; and if you had not grabbed at it, so that we needed you as a middleman, you could not grind us down. and your sugar? i do not need your sugar, i have my bees!" "don't you get my iron?" "your iron! where do you dig that up? in the gutters? what!" "don't you get my wine?" "where do you plant it? on the roofs?" "don't you get my silver and my gold?" "what should i do with them, even if you had any? can i make a knife, a plough, a spade, a brush, or a winnowing-fan out of them? no, i won't have any of it. all your business is useless, and if there were not so many fools to buy your stuff, you would starve. remember, if all the 'louts of peasants,' as you call them, recovered their reason, so that they did not take the trouble to change their crops for your rubbish, what would you eat then? what?" "eat? one does not live in order to eat." "no, but one lives by eating. and those who live by cheating others can also keep race-courses and dancing-houses where one learns such fine things; they can print books where one can read that all which the idle do is well done, and that it is honourable to steal if one only takes a sword in one's hand, sticks a rag on a pole, marches into a foreign land and says 'now there is war!'" "you always bring up the old race-course again. we paid the king ourselves for it, so that we might keep it in peace." "paid it yourselves! yes, how did the matter go? when it was made, it was said that the town should pay for it; then you complained, and said they were such bad times, for the peasants would not buy your goods. and what did you do then? you put up the price of salt. yes, i remember it well, and you shall be paid back for it. and so the peasant had to pay for the race-course and all your other tomfoolery, for that you must have, for you have jammed yourselves together like bees in a hive and see neither the sun nor the moon." peter's intoxication began to gain the upper hand, and he had an inner vision of the hated chestnut horses as embodying the showiness of the town. "and though you have not so much grass as can grow on my chin, yet you can support two chestnuts. what do they eat? sugar and salt? what! raisins and almonds perhaps? and what do your chestnuts do? do they plough; do they draw logs of wood or a load? no, they keep clear of all that. i know well what they draw, but that i don't say; but i know well that the streets there are not longer than my turnipfield. yes, that is what they can do, the lazy beggars. deuce take me if i don't have a turn at being idle. listen, mother, do you want to be idle, then we will get a pair of red chestnuts with cordova-leather trappings and silver knobs on the harness. come, mother, we will be idle, then we can drive in a blue painted sledge with the servants behind, put our feet in foot-warmers of otter-skin, and then we can sleep out the morning with a velvet cap on our head, and drink spanish wine sugared. eh, mother, come! we will be lazy too!" paul began to get angry. "i believe the spanish wine has got into your head, although you neither planted it nor pressed the grapes," he said. peter felt that he had been insulted, but he was too befogged to understand it at once. "the wine, you say, and i think you shrug your shoulders. remember he who has got a loose tongue must cover his back. one fellow may sneeze into a silk handkerchief and another may throw it on the ground, but both can eat out of the same trough. what are you talking about wine for? have i looked into _your_ mouth? do you think i have nothing of my own to drink? may the devil take your wine! come out in the courtyard and i'll make you feel something!" peter threw away the rest of his wine and got up in order to go out. paul was held back by the women who begged him for christ's sake not to go. peter would cool down, they said, and the christmas peace should not be disturbed. peter was envious and did not like anyone to "boss" him. paul at first wished to return to the town at once, but gradually he let himself be smoothed down and took part in the game, while peter worked off his rage outside. it was not long before there was a knock at the window and a little while after at the door. when they opened it, peter entered it, wearing a sheep-skin, and hobbled about like a goat, so that the straw on the floor was all sent flying and the others jumped up on seats and tables. their merriment soon became uproarious; they ate and drank without any more quarrelling till night-time, and then they went to sleep. when the christmas festivities were over, paul returned home with his family, and karin and mats were an engaged couple. it was arranged that the wedding should take place in the following autumn, if the harvest and trade were good. so the new year began with hope for the younger ones and renewed effort on the part of their elders. * * * * * when the first snow fell on the following november, peter harnessed his black stallion to the sledge and took mats with him, in order to drive to the town and talk about the wedding. the harvest had been better than they had dared to expect, and peter could give a fair sum as a dowry. there was a splendid surface on the high-road for the sledge, and peter was in a good humour, although he could not dispel a certain uneasiness at again coming to the town, where he had not been for ten years, and where he had met with a number of misadventures which made him dislike the town-dwellers. for the same reason mats had never been able to make a journey to the town till now, when he found himself on the way to a place full of wonderful things, the description of which, with embellishments which he had heard from returning peasants, had sounded to him like fairy-tales. they went along briskly, for the stallion was a good sledge-trotter, and it was not long before the north bridge rumbled under the horse's hoofs. mats was quite stupefied at the wonders which he saw--houses as large as mountains and standing so closely together! "see!" he said, "what good neighbours they can be to each other, and we in the country can hardly keep the peace at a quarter of a mile's distance. and so many churches! how religious they are! and the town hall right in the middle where one can get justice the whole day long!" peter made a grimace, and answered nothing. they came to the tollgate, which was politely opened and closed again without their having to get down from the sledge. mats thought that that was a good custom for he knew what a trouble it was to open a heavy gate, but peter cracked his whip so that the horse began to run, for he wanted to enter the town as a person of importance. but they heard a cry behind them, and two of the city guards ran at them with lowered halberds, while a third seized the horse by the bridle and brought the sledge to a standstill, "are you trying to bolt, you d----d lout of a peasant!" shouted the gate-keeper, coming up. "bolt?" asked peter humbly, beginning to remember his former misadventure in the city. "hold your mouth and come!" the black stallion was led back to the toll-house, where the travellers had to wait for half an hour, while the sledge was searched and their names were written down. they were at last liberated with an order to proceed at a walking pace. when they reached the smiths' street, the sledge-runners began to knock against the stones, for the snow had been cleared away. the horse exerted himself and pulled with all his strength, but they only advanced step by step and could not understand why it was so difficult. peter struck the horse, but it was already doing its best with its loins strained, and its hoofs struck sparks from the stones of the street. mats simply sat there staring up at the high houses and marvelling at the wonderful things which hung outside them: here were horseshoes and carriage-wheels; there were fiddles, lutes, trumpets; there clothes, sets of harness, and guns. the baker had hung up a large b-shaped biscuit, the carpenter a table, the butcher a sheep! "they must have very little room inside," he remarked to his father, when at the same moment a snow-ball flung from behind struck off his cap. peter and mats turned round and saw that the whole back part of the sledge was packed with boys. "be off with you!" said peter. the boys put out their tongues at him. then peter raised his whip and struck at the mass of them, but was so unfortunate in his stroke that the whiplash caught the eye of a baker's boy, who uttered a frightful yell and dropped a basket of loaves which he was carrying. at the same time people came running together and an angry blacksmith mounted on the sledge and gave peter such a blow on his mouth and nose that he saw sparks. "are you striking the boy, you stupid ox of a peasant?" he cried. mats was about to intervene and to throw himself on the smith, when the crowd of people joined in. the fighting waxed furious, and peter and mats had been soundly thrashed when the guards came up and finished the matter by taking down the names of the two disturbers of the peace and summoning them to the town hall. "this is worse than being in an enemy's country," said peter, "for here one cannot defend oneself." "what have you got to do here then, ox-driver?" said the smith. "i have to bring you food, or you would be hungry," said peter. "listen to the clodhopper," said the smith. "they have no manners, these mud-larks, when they come among people, but they will learn some, you bet!" the black stallion was set free and had to draw the sledge with the back part full of boys, who had settled upon it like crows upon a piece of carrion, up the street. "that is very strange," said mats, "that these devils of boys have a right to ride free." "that is municipal law, you see," answered peter. "yes, but the civil law doesn't allow it." "the civil law is not in force here," said his father. now they had reached the great market-place. here peter stopped and got down. the boys were discontented because they could not go farther, but peter asked humbly for consideration. he looked for something he could tie his horse to till he had found his brother, whose address he had forgotten. he saw a stake with rings attached to it standing in the middle of the market-place, which seemed suitable, and to this he tied his horse, while the onlookers grinned and made jests at his expense which he did not understand. then he turned to the one who looked most sensible and asked for the house of his brother paul. there were fifty pauls all tradesmen and just as many peters, so that he could get no exact information. peter and mats now felt hungry and proceeded to look for a tavern. paul, they thought, was such an important tradesman that they would be sure to be able to find him some time. as they walked away they came to the ironmarket. horses were being sold there, and there was much to look at. "see!" said mats, "there are the chestnuts, i declare!" peter stared with wide-open eyes. there were really brother paul's chestnuts which had turned up again. a sinful longing to possess them awoke in him, and he inquired the price. it was very high, but would not his heart exult if he could drive with them to his brother's door and call to the coachman, "unharness the chestnuts! take the chestnuts to the stable! give the chestnuts their oats"? and how the peasants would stare when he came home with them, and had the black stallion tied behind as an extra horse! so he gave the seller earnest-money, and said he would fetch the horses later in the day. the bargain was sealed with some food and beer in the iron-market tavern, and peter found out from the merchants where his foster-brother lived--in the seventh cross-street on the left hand. peter and mats began to count the streets, but did not get more than half-way to the seventh, for they had to stand and stare at the quantities of strange things exposed in the shops for sale. besides, the street was very narrow so that they collided with foot-passengers and carriages, and received thumps before and behind. they got quite out of their reckoning and had to return to the iron-market and begin counting again. after they had repeated this process more than once, they were tired and thirsty and went into a tavern. but when they came out again, they did not know their right from their left; the afternoon had come on and it was twilight. then peter remembered the black stallion which had nothing to eat or drink, and after asking their way several times they reached the great market. but instead of the black stallion and the sledge, which had disappeared, they found two of the city police waiting for them. these, after writing down their names, took them by the collar and marched them to the lock-up for the night. peter tried to defend his freedom from what he called violence, but was immediately knocked down and had his hands tied behind him. he demanded an explanation, but that, he was told, would be given him next day, and in such a manner that he would remember it. the two prisoners were taken to a long vaulted room under the town hall, which was filled with men of every age and class. a horn lantern threw a feeble light over the prisoners, who sat or lay on benches placed along the wall. never had peter and mats seen men of such an appearance or in such a condition. their clothes were in rags, their faces savage and their gestures wild, but however wretched and humiliated they might be, they had one common feeling--contempt and dislike for the new-comers. they accosted them in an insulting way and made fools of them as soon as they opened their mouths. "take a chair and sit down, peasants!" cried a half-drunken porter as they entered. mats, suspecting no evil, thanked him and looked about for the chair which was not there. all those present burst into laughter. the porter, who because of his physical strength and active tongue had chosen himself as chief speaker, proceeded to examine the new arrivals in a magisterial tone. "what have you done, peasants, that you have the honour of entering this high-born society?" "we have done nothing at all," answered mats, in spite of his father's beckoning him to be silent. "just like ourselves," answered the porter; "but if we do nothing that is our right, but you, peasants, are born to work. but you don't work. in spring you scratch the crust of the earth a little, and throw some handfuls of com on it, and then you go about and watch it growing. do you call that working? then comes summer and you dance the hay in, and drink over it. then it is autumn and you go to bed and sleep through the winter. is that work? you ought to sit in the fortress elfsborg and hew stones, then you would know what work is." "if you envy us, then go and be a peasant," answered peter. "i a peasant? oh fie! i would rather be an executioner or a night-watchman! envious, do you say? am i envious? will anyone assert that? do you know why i sit here? you should know, for you will think twice afterwards before calling me envious." "well, tell us!" answered peter. "tell us!" "shall i tell you, peasant--you with your corn-sacks? it is your fault, i tell you, that i sit here. do you know paul hörning? no, you don't. well, he was a corn-merchant, and since he let himself be persuaded in the spring by a scoundrelly peasant that there would be a bad harvest, he bought all the corn he could get hold of and had his granaries full. but it turned out that the peasant had lied; there was a good harvest and corn fell in price. paul hörning got into a mess; he had to sell his chestnut horses and dismiss all his servants. so i lost my place and loafed about, and now i sit here. such are the tricks of these rogues of peasants!" mats stared, and peter was very sad. "i am sorry to hear what you say," answered peter, "but it is not my fault that god gives the harvest." "don't talk about it, for i won't listen. isn't it your fault that you won't be content with what you have but sow such a hellish lot of corn that the corn-merchant is ruined. you should be content with what you have, then others too might be able to live. i really feel inclined to thrash you a little when i think well over it. shall i thrash him a little? what do you others say?" the onlookers were of different opinions. a shoemaker's apprentice opposed the idea, for he had discovered that bread was cheaper when the peasants had much corn. a german shop-boy, who served in a general store shop, had no objection to a good harvest for then the peasants were more willing to buy stores. an organ-grinder, with a monkey perched on his shoulder, had no objection to the peasant being thrashed, for the peasants never had money with them, but he had nothing to say against a good harvest for then the market was full. a butcher said that peter should be beaten black and blue, for when the farmers had a good crop it sent up the price of oxen. a wood dealer said he didn't want anyone to be beaten, but remarked that if the peasants had a good harvest they became proud and would not chop wood; but when there was a bad harvest, wood could be had for nothing, and one could eat flesh every day. this last remark made the shoemaker change his mind, for he had noticed that the price of leather fell when the farmer had to kill his cattle. the porter, whom all these contradictory opinions could bring to no conclusion, was himself of opinion that peter must be thrashed on principle, and that thrashings never did any harm. but when he approached peter with unsteady steps, in order to carry out his purpose, he was immediately knocked down by mats, who intervened. since the porter was only too glad to rest his heavy head, he used the opportunity and remained lying there; and as no one else wished to do the same there followed a silence in the room. peter and mats drew off their furs, and made a bed of them as well as they could for the night's sleep. "it is just as if we had fallen among the danes," said peter when they had crept under the furs to sleep; "and yet they call themselves our countrymen! but to-morrow, i hope, we shall get justice." mats, for his part, had lost all hope that they would obtain justice from the city law, and was very depressed. he said, as usual, his evening prayer aloud. he prayed for his father, mother and fiancée; he asked god to shield them from fire and danger; he asked for a good harvest and good government; and finally prayed god to protect all men good and bad alike. this unusual sight again evoked various opinions among the spectators. the butcher thought it was hypocrisy to pray for one's enemies, since it was one's duty to defend oneself against them. the shoemaker scented mischief in the prayer for harvest and said it was equivalent to praying for the downfall of one's fellowmen, as had just appeared in the case of paul hörning. the organ-grinder thought one ought not to pray for the government, for the government built prisons, and prisons were expensive and unnecessary; he could not understand what people wanted with them, since freedom was a man's inalienable right and highest, good. he and his monkey had never had a fixed abode, and they were quite happy if they could only be free. the wood-dealer did not like people praying god to interfere with fires and such-like, the fire-brigade were well paid for that; he said the peasants had only mentioned the subject because he was a wood-dealer and liked to have his wood burning on people's hearths. he also thought that the government was quite unnecessary; if people would not look after themselves and their families, let them be left alone--the government should only mix in foreign affairs. peter and mats, who were tired by their exertions and troubles, fell asleep during the talk, and presently all the others followed their example. soon only the sighing and snoring of the sleepers were audible. but the monkey could not sleep; he jumped up and ransacked all the pockets he could reach in order to find a crust of bread, but did not succeed; he rustled through the straw and pulled the hair of one of the sleepers, who cried out and went to sleep again; he climbed up to the lantern and extinguished it; then he became frightened at the darkness, felt for the organ and began to turn the handle, but received a cuff from the organ-grinder. them a new idea seemed to come into his head; he looked for the drunken porter and found him, bit all the buttons off his coat, and threw them high in the air, so that they fell down again on the sleeping man. when the uneasiness which this produced in the sleeper had subsided, he began to tear the porter's coat into small strips, which he then twisted up into a ball. when this was done, he fell on his knees, and folded his hands, as he had seen his master do after a bad day. then he placed the ball under his head and fell asleep. when peter and mats awoke next morning the warder stood ready to take them into court. when they came before the magistrate he appeared to be in a great hurry and contented himself with reading the verdict on the "peasant peter from spånga" who was accused (1) of trying to elude the observation of the guard at the city gate; (2) of having beaten a boy; (3) of having tied his horse to the pillory in the great market. the sentence was that he should be fined. peter asked permission to speak; the judge bade him be silent, for one was not allowed to speak in one's own cause. on peter's inquiring who was to speak then, he was conducted out of court and had to pay the fine. "that is the city law, you see," he said to mats when they had come outside and obtained possession of their horse and sledge again. "now we will sit up and drive home. we can send for the chestnuts another time, and brother paul can wait, and you too, mats. a year passes quickly when one is young." mats did not like this, and asked leave at any rate to go and greet karin, but peter was inexorable, and they started for home. when they had got outside the city gate, peter turned round and put out his tongue. "well," he said, "if i ever set foot inside there again, the deuce take me! if you townspeople want anything from me, you can come and look for it!" as they approached solna, peter suddenly started and looked away over his horse's ears. "deuce take me," he said, "do i see ghosts in broad daylight? look, mats, can you see anything red over there?" mats did see something red, and peter whipped up the black stallion. they soon came up to the horse-dealer with the two chestnuts, who had long waited for his customer in vain. now the bargain was concluded, and proud as the merchant paul himself, peter yoked the chestnuts to the sledge, tied the black stallion behind, and drove fast home. when they reached the farm peter's wife stood in the vestibule, and thought her brother-in-law bad come from the town. when she saw how the matter stood she became sad and said, "didn't i say that people get proud simply by going to town." but peter was so glad to be home again that he did not listen to his wife, and the chestnuts added to his cheerfulness. the thought that paul had received a lesson put him in quite a good humour, so that he hummed to himself as he led the chestnuts to the stable. but mats was not cheerful, for a year was a long time to look forward to, and he knew already that when milk begins to curdle it soon becomes sour. * * * * * this christmas paul did not come to spånga, although peter had promised to fetch him in the sledge with the chestnuts; he said he had too much to look after. spring came and the young corn looked hopeful; but in autumn it rained at the critical time and continued to rain day and night, so that the corn fermented in the ear, and the straw rotted, and there was a bad harvest. peter was obliged to send the chestnuts to the town and sell them. but that did not help much, for as he had no straw he had to try to sell some of his cattle also. his servant, however, brought the oxen back, for the price offered in the town was so low, because all the farmers' harvests had failed and they had also sent in their oxen to be sold. peter became uneasy, for he expected paul to come at michaelmas. he therefore had the oxen taken over to dannemora, where they would, as he knew, fetch a higher price. michaelmas day had come. peter's wife was standing by the fire cooking sausages; mats was in the room above putting on his best clothes. peter ran about restlessly, and went sometimes out on the road to see whether his servant were not returning with the money, for to-day paul would come, and he must lay the sum for his daughter's dowry on the table. peter, who had experienced many mishaps during the past year, had a dim foreboding that this day would not be a cheerful one. it was a sunny autumn morning, but the north wind was blowing so that it was partly cold and partly warm, and peter felt the same in his own person. it was quite certain that his servant had sold the oxen, but he was uneasy at his not arriving. he longed for paul to come so that the business might be finished, but at the same time feared his coming. so he walked up and down the road--looked northwards for his servant and southwards for paul; at one time he had the north wind at his back, then in his face, and so with the sun. at last he heard in the distance a sound like carriage wheels rumbling over a bridge, and then there was silence; he stood quite still and stared in the direction of the town; he shaded his eyes and looked. what he feared came. it was inevitable. he saw two reddish horse heads appear, and behind them what looked like a wobbling house-roof. it was paul who came in a covered carriage drawn by two chestnuts. he had a carriage, thanks to the bad harvest, and the scarcity of corn had helped him to recover the horses. peter wanted to go into the house and hide his head behind the chimney corner, but paul and his womenfolk had caught sight of him and waved their pocket-handkerchiefs. peter lifted his cap and pretended that the sun dazzled him; mats came running out and opened the carriage door. peter's wife stood as usual in the doorway and began to curtsy when she saw the carriage. then they entered the house, where the meal was ready for the guests. paul talked about the state of the roads and the last war; peter discussed the question of the church-tithe. peter's wife was busy with the sausages and the mutton, mats was absorbed in conversation with karin, and no one mentioned the bad harvests, the chestnuts, or any topic that might disturb the peace. when they had eaten, peter and paul went out. but peter had no desire to show the cattle-stalls and the granary, and paul took care not to mention the chestnuts. but at last the other subject, which peter had most feared, turned up. paul began, "now, peter, are you ready to settle the matter? the children are pining for each other, and time is passing." peter looked northwards, as though he wished to fetch the answer from thence. "you will stay over dinner," he said, "and we can talk about the matter then." "perhaps you are not ready with the money?" said paul. "that would be a pity, for i have just now several offers." "i not ready with the money? ha! ha! my money does not melt so quickly as other folks', and although i do not get rich by bad harvests, yet i am not poor." "perhaps, brother, then you will be so good as to lay the money on the table; then i will go home to dinner." peter felt uneasy. "no! after dinner," he answered quietly. "after waiting so long you can wait a little longer, and i don't think it will hurt you." at that moment they heard the sound of horses' hoofs. peter started and looked down the road. there came his servant riding, without the oxen; therefore he must have the money. he assumed a more confident tone and continued, "but, brother, if you happen to be in embarrassment, i will produce the money at once!" the servant came nearer, but he was not alone. beside him rode an armed man who held the end of a cord, the other end of which bound the servant's hands. the horses splashed on through the mud and stood still. peter was dumb. "halt," cried the bailiff's man. "you, farmer peter, have sent your servant to carry on illegal traffic. what have you to say?" "where are my oxen?" asked peter. "forfeited," answered the bailiff's man. "next time, four hundred marks' fine; the third time, death." "who has made that law?" "the king." "formerly we made the laws ourselves. when did we give up the right to do so?" "when the council and the nobles did." "they never proposed to give the king permission to steal our oxen." "weigh your words, peter, for god's sake!" said paul warningly. "hold your tongue!" answered peter. "it is you and fellows like you who sit in the town and pass laws for their own profit. so it goes on! the king needs money for races and triumphal arches; he takes it out of the merchant's purse, and the merchant takes it out of the farmer's. who prevents me selling where i choose?" "the law," answered the bailiff's man. "but don't stand scolding there, farmer. untie your servant's hands and give my horses something to eat." peter was beside himself. he ran like a madman into the house. then he took a poker and swept the bowls and dishes from the table on to the ground; he broke the windows, drove all those present out of the room, smashed the seats and tables, and roared all the time till he foamed at the mouth; he chewed pieces of glass, broke tin plates in two, and trampled on butter-dishes and jugs. then he stood in the doorway and shouted, "out, you hellish thieves! once right was law in the world, now wrong is law. thieves make laws for honest folk, and now they steal legally. you, petty merchant, don't work a bit, but eat my bread; don't you know that you ought to pay for it? i have a right to flog you, for you are one of my dependents! and you, underling of your thievish masters--you, king's official! what do _you_ do for your bread? you make entries in a book--you all do that; you note everything down. if i drive on the road, if i lie down, if i tie my horse, if i defend my property, if i flog a scoundrel, you make a note of it, and i must pay for everything. holy virgin and all the saints, preserve my understanding! and now take your chestnuts and your women away, paul; and if you appear on my land again, remember what you have brought me to. buy a son-in-law in the town for yourself; there you will make a good bargain if you can pass her off on one of your friends. you may have got me down on my knees, but i am not rotting, as the old woman said, when she fell into the churchyard. to that i say amen! and praise and thank god for good and evil!" but paul and his womenfolk had already gone to the stable and harnessed the horses. as they drove through the gate paul said, "poor peter has gone mad!" but paul and peter never met again. mats never got karin, and there was no help for it; it was so fated and no one could alter it. a funeral the cooper sat with the barber in the inn at engsund and played a harmless game of lansquenet for a barrel of beer. it was one o'clock in the afternoon of a snowy november day. hie tavern was quite empty, for most people were still at work. the flames burned brightly in the clay fire-place which stood on four wooden feet in a corner, and looked like a coffin; the fir twigs on the ground smelt pleasantly; the well-panelled walls kept out all draughts and looked warm; the bull-finch in his cage twittered now and then, and looked out of the window, but he had to put his head on one side to see if it was fine. but it was snowing outside. the innkeeper sat behind his counter and reckoned up chalk-strokes on a black slate; now and then he interjected a humorous remark or a bright idea which seemed to please the other two. then the great bell in the church began to toll with a dull and heavy sound, in keeping with the november day. "what the devil is that cursed ringing for?" said the cooper, who felt too comfortable in life to enjoy being reminded of death. "another funeral," answered the innkeeper. "there is never anything else." "why the deuce do people want to have such a fuss made about them after they are dead," said the barber. "trump that, master cooper!" "so i did," said the cooper, and pocketed the trick in his leather apron. down the sloping road which led to the nicholai gate, a funeral procession wended its way. there was a simple, roughly planed coffin, thinly coated with black paint so that the knots in the wood showed through. a single wreath of whortleberries lay on the coffin lid. the undertaker's men who carried the bier looked indifferent and almost humiliated because they were carrying a bier without a cover and fringes. behind the coffin walked three women--the dead man's mother and her two daughters; they looked crushed with grief. when the funeral reached the gate of the churchyard, the priest met it and shook hands with the mourners; then the service began in the presence of some old women and apprentices who had joined the procession. "i see now--it is the clerk, hans schönschreiber," said the innkeeper, who had gone to the window, from which he could overlook the churchyard. "and none of his fellow-clerks follow him to the grave," said the cooper. "a bad lot, these clerks!" "i know the poor fellow," said the barber. "he lived like a church mouse and died of hunger." "and a little of pride," added the innkeeper. "not so little though," the cooper corrected him. "i knew his father; he was a clerk too. see now! these fellows who go in for reading and writing die before their time. they go without dinner and beg if necessary in order to look fine gentlemen; and yet a clerk is only a servant and can never be his own master, for only the king is his own master in this life." "and why should it be more gentleman-like to write?" asked the barber. "isn't it perhaps just as difficult to cut a courtier's and to make him look smart, or to let someone's blood when he is in danger of his life?" "i would like to see the clerk who would take less than ten years to make a big beer barrel," said the cooper. "why, one knows the fellows require two years to draw up their petitions and such-like." "and what is the good of it all?" asked the innkeeper. "can i scribble such letters as they do, but don't i keep my accounts all right? see here i draw a crucifix on the slate--that means the sexton; here i scribble the figure of a barrel--that stands for the cooper; then in a twinkling, however many strokes i have to make, i know exactly how much each has drunk." "yes, but no one else except yourself can read it, mr innkeeper," objected a young man who had hitherto sat silent in a corner. "that is the best of it," answered the innkeeper, "that no one can poke his nose into my accounts, and therefore i am just as good a clerk as anyone." the cooper and the barber grinned approval. "i knew the dead man's father," resumed the innkeeper. "he was a clerk too! and when he died i had to rub out many chalk-strokes which made up his account, for he wanted to be a fine gentleman, you see. all the inheritance he left to the son, who now lies with his nose pointing upwards, was a mother and two sisters. the young fellow wanted to be a tradesman in order to get food for four months, but his mother would not consent; she said it was a shame to step downward when one was above. and heavens, how the poor young fellow had to write! i know exactly what went on. the three women lived in one room and he in a rat-hole. all he could scrape together he had to give them; and when he came from work to eat his dinner, they deafened him with complaints. there was no butter on the bread, no sugar on the cakes; the elder sister wanted to have a new dress, and the younger a new mantle. then he had to write through the whole night, and how he wrote! at last when his breast-bone stuck out like a hook and his face was as yellow as a leather strap, one day he felt tired; he came to me and borrowed a bottle of brandy. he was melancholy but also angry, for the elder sister had said she wanted a velvet jacket such as she had seen in the german shop, and his mother said ladies of their class could not do with less. the young fellow worked and slaved, but not with the same zest as formerly. and fancy! when he came here and took a glass to ease his chest, his conscience reproached him so much that he really believed he was stealing. and he had other troubles, the poor young fellow. a wooer came after the younger sister--a young pewterer from peter apollo street. but the sister said 'no!' and so did the mother, for he was only a pewterer. had he been a clerk, she would have said 'yes' and persuaded him that she loved him, and it is likely that she would really have done so, for such is love!" all laughed except the young man, who struck in, "well, innkeeper, but he loved her, although she was so poor, and he was well off; that proves that love can be sincere, doesn't it?" "pooh!" said the innkeeper, who did not wish to be interrupted. "but something else happened, and that finished him. he went and fell in love. his mother and sister had not counted on that, but it was the law of nature. and when he came and said that he thought of marrying, do you know what they said?--'have you the means to?' and the youth, who was a little simple, considered and discovered that he had not means to establish a new family since he had one already, and so he did not marry; but he got engaged. and then there was a lot of trouble! his mother would not receive his fiancée, because her father could not write, and especially because she herself had been a dress-maker. it was still worse when the young man went in the evenings to her, and would not stay at home. a fine to-do there was! but still he went on working for his mother and sisters, and i know that in the evening he sat and wrote by his fiancée's side, while she sewed, only to save time and to be able to be near her. but his mother and sisters believed evil of the pair, and showed it too. it was one sunday about dinner-time; he told me himself the young fellow, when he came here to get something for his chest, for now he coughed terribly. he had gone out with his fiancée to brunkeberg, and as they were coming home over the north bridge, whom did they meet but his mother and sisters? his fiancée wanted to turn back, but he held her arm firmly and drew her forward. but his mother remained standing by the bridge railings and looked into the water; the elder sister spat before her, and did the same, but the younger--she was a beauty! she stood still and stared at the young woman's woollen mantle and laughed, for she had one of english cloth--and just because of that, her brother's fiancée had to wear wool. fancy the impudent hussy!" "that was simply want of sense in the child," said the young man. "want of sense!" exclaimed the cooper indignantly. "want of sense!" but he could not say any more. the innkeeper took no notice of the interruption and continued: "it was a christmas eve, the last christmas eve on which he was alive. he came to me as usual to get something for his chest, which was very bad. 'a merry christmas, hans!' i said. i sat where i am sitting now, and he sat just where you are sitting, young sir. 'are you bad?' i asked. 'yes,' he answered, 'and your slate is full.' 'it doesn't matter,' i answered, 'we can write down the rest in the great book up there. a glass of hot schnapps does one good on christmas eve.' he was coughing terribly, and so he took a drink. then his tongue was loosened. he said how miserable and forlorn he felt this evening. he had just left his home. the christmas table was laid. his mother and sisters were soft and mild, as one usually is on such an evening. they said nothing, they did not reproach him, but when he took his coat and was about to go out, his mother wept and said it was the first christmas eve that her son was absent. but do you think that she had so much heart as to say 'go to her, bring her here, and let us be at peace like friends.' no! she only thought of herself, and so he went with an aching heart. poor fellow! but hear what followed. then he came to his fiancée. she was glad and happy to have him, and now she saw that he loved her better than anything else on earth. but the young man, whose heart was torn in two, was not so cheerful as she wished him to be, and then she was vexed with him, a little only of course. then they talked about marriage, but he could not agree with her. no, he had duties towards his father's widow. but she quoted the priest who had said a man should leave father and mother and remain with his wife. he asked whether he had not left his mother and home this evening with a bleeding heart in order to be with her. she replied that she had already noticed, when he came, that he was depressed because he was going to spend the evening with her. he answered it was not that which depressed him, but his having to leave his old mother on christmas eve. then she objected that he could not deny he had been depressed when he came to her--and so they went on arguing, you can imagine how!" the cooper nodded intelligently. "well, it was a pleasant christmas for him. enough! the young fellow was torn in two, piece by piece; he never married. but now he lies at rest, if the coffin nails hold; but it was a sad business for him, poor devil, even if he was a fool. and god bless his soul! hans schönschreiber, if you have no greater list of debts than you had with me, they are easily settled!" so saying, the innkeeper took his black slate from the counter, and with his elbow rubbed out a whole row of chalk-strokes which had been made under a hieroglyph which looked like a pen in an inkpot. "see," said the barber, who had been looking through the window to hide his red eyes, "see, there she is!" outside in the churchyard the funeral service was at an end; the priest had pressed the hands of the mourners and was about to go; the sexton plied his spade in order to fill up the grave again, as a woman dressed in black pressed through the crowd, fell on her knees by the edge of the grave, and offered a silent prayer. then she let fall a wreath of white roses into the grave, and a faint sobbing and whispering was audible as the rose leaves fell apart on the black coffin lid. then she stood up to go, erect and proud, but did not at first notice in the crowd that her dead lover's mother was regarding her with wild and angry looks as though she saw her worst enemy, who had robbed her of her dearest. then they stood for a moment opposite one another, revengeful and ready for battle; but suddenly their features assumed a milder expression, their pale faces twitched, and they fell in each other's arms and wept. they held each other in a long, convulsive embrace, and then departed side by side. the innkeeper wept like a child without attempting to hide his emotion, the barber pressed his face against the window, and the cooper took the cards out of his pocket as though to arrange them; but the young man, his head propped in his hands, had placed himself against the wall in order to have a support, for he wept so that his whole body shook and his legs trembled. the innkeeper first broke the silence. "who will now help the poor family? the pewterer would be accepted now, were he to make another proposal." "how do you know that, innkeeper?" asked the young man, much moved, as he stepped into the centre of the room. "well, i heard it yesterday when i was up there helping at the preparations for the funeral. but the pewterer will not have her now, as she would not have him then." "yes he will, innkeeper!" said the young man. "he will have her though she were ever so selfish and bad-tempered, poor, and wretched, for such is love!" so saying, he left the astonished innkeeper and his friends. "deuce take me--that was he himself!" said the barber. "things do not always end so happily," remarked the cooper. "how about the clerk?" objected the barber. "no, they did not end well with him, but with the others, you know. they had, as it were, more right to live than he, the young one; for they were alive first, and he who first comes to the mill, grinds his corn first." "the young fellow was stupid, that was the whole trouble," said the barber. "yes, yes," concluded the innkeeper. "he certainly was stupid, but it was fine of him anyhow." in that they were all agreed. the last shot on one of the last days of october in the year 1648 there prevailed much bustle and activity in the streets of the little town lindau on the lake of constance. this swabian venice, which lies on three island close to the bavarian coast, had long been besieged by the swedish field-marshal wrangel, who during the last years of the war had been operating in conjunction with the french and had pitched his fortified camp on the hill in the village of eschach. the negotiations for peace, which had already lasted four years, had not yet resulted in any cessation of hostilities, only lately königsmarck had stormed prague. but this event had accelerated the negotiations in osnabrück and münster, and rumours of a coming peace had reached swabia. lindau had for many months been suffering all the terrors of a siege. during the last days the bombardment from eschach had ceased, and the burgomaster, who had returned from a secret visit to bregenz, had on the afternoon of the above-mentioned day betaken himself to the inn "zur krone," for the town hall had been demolished. he hoped to meet there some acquaintance who was not on duty on the fortifications. in the rooms of the inn he had met no one, and feeling rather depressed, he went out on the terrace to cast a look over the town and to see what the swedes were doing in their camp on the opposite shore. the lake of constance lay there in unruffled calm, and the snowy summit of the lofty santis was reflected in it; the edge of the black forest loomed like an evening cloud, misty-blue in the west, and in the south the rhine rushed between the vorarlberg and the rhetic alps till its yellow waters flowed into the blue-green depths of the lake. however, the burgomaster had no eye for this kind of beauty, for during the last eight days he had been half starved, and for more than a month he had been suffering and fighting. he only looked down on the road along the shore where good-natured bavarians mingled with quarrelsome würtembergers and lively badenese; he could also see people flocking to the franciscan church to take the sacrament. down by the shore he noticed a group of men, who stared out on the lake where some barrels drifted, borne along by the light current; they were busily occupied in drawing these to land with boat-hooks and ropes. "what have you there, men?" called the burgomaster down from the terrace. "that is a present from the honest swiss in st gall," answered a voice. "probably wine or must which has lain in the lake and waited for the west wind in order to float down here from romanshorn," said another voice. the burgomaster drew back from the terrace and went down to the dining-room of the inn to sit there and wait for the result of this haul of flotsam and jetsam. the apparently immovable face of the tall bavarian wore deep lines of trouble, care and vexation. his great fist, which lay on the oaken table, opened and closed as though it were deliberating whether to give up or hold fast something; and his foot, the toes of which seemed to wish to burst the buckskin of his top-boots, stamped the unswept floor so that a cloud of dust rose up like smoke from a tobacco pipe. he struck the ground with his broadsword, and then immediately afterwards drew out of a bag of cordovan leather, which bore the city arms embroidered in silver, a pair of heavy keys, which he seemed to try in an invisible keyhole, as though he wished to lock a door so that it could never again be opened. then he put the key-pipe to his mouth and blew a bugle-call which he had had plenty of opportunity of learning during the long siege with its repulsed attacks and unsuccessful sorties. suddenly he heard a loud tread and the clanking of armour on the stairs. the burgomaster at once replaced the keys in the bag, fastened it, and swung the strap from which it was suspended round, so that it hung behind him. then he placed himself in what looked like a defensive attitude, as though he knew who was about to enter through the door. "good morning, commandant!" he said to the officer who entered and threw his torn hat with its smoke-soiled plume on a seat. "good morning, burgomaster," returned the officer, sitting down at the other side of the table. there followed a long pause of silence, as though two duellists were loading their pistols in order to shoot each other down. at last the commandant broke the silence by asking abruptly, "what did the bregenzers say?" "not a sack of meal, not a glass of wine, till the town has given up the keys! that was what they said." "well?" "well?" repeated the burgomaster with a threatening glance. "you won't give up the keys?" "no! a thousand times no! a million times no!" he sprang from his chair, crimson in the face. "do you know," asked the commandant, "that the corpses are poisoning the city, since the swedes took the churchyard of eschach?" "i know it!" "do you know that all the horses and dogs in the town have been killed?" "i know it. and i know too, that my own watch-dog, my companion for twenty years, since i lost my wife and child, was the first to be sacrificed." "do you know that the waters of the lake have risen, that the cellars are full of water, and that no one can take refuge there any more if the bombardment is continued?" "i know it," answered the burgomaster. "do you know that our vines, which are growing outside on the hills on hourberg, in schachten and eichbuhl, are ripe for vintage, and that the swedes and french are pillaging the vineyards like starlings?" "i know it. but do _you_ know that peace may be concluded to-day, that it is perhaps already concluded, and that we may save our honour if we wait one more day before capitulating?" "one day more!" repeated the commandant. "one day more! so we have said for three months, and meantime our children are dying. perhaps you do not know that the cows give no more milk, since they have been obliged to eat the moss from the roofs, the leaves from the trees--yes, even the dung from the horse-stables, and to lick the empty meal-sacks. it has come to that; and now the children are crying for milk." "the children! don't talk to me of children--to me who have seen my only daughter put to shame. then it was i who begged for help, but in vain! to hell with the children! why didn't you take them over the water before the swedes had their punts on the lake?" "you are a wild animal, burgomaster, and not a man. you would perhaps have liked to have seen them drowned in sacks or eaten, as they did in bohemia."' "yes, we have become wild beasts among wild beasts during the thirty years full of slaughter and fire, robbery and whoremongering. it could be called war as long as the swedish king lived and led 'soldiers,' but now they have become incendiaries and highway robbers, who destroy for the mere sake of destruction. huns, goths and vandals, who destroy out of sheer rage, because they can produce nothing." a cry from the street prevented the commandant's answer and drew the two out on the terrace. crowding closely round the barrels which had been just drawn to land, some coopers were knocking their bottoms out so that the contents ran into the street. "what are you doing down there?" called the commandant. "ah, it is only milk which the greedy swiss have sent us instead of wine," came the answer from below. a woman with a child on her arm came up, and when she saw the white stream flowing down the street, she uttered a terrible cry and placed her child on the ground to let it drink. drawn by her cry, many other mothers came, and the babies seized the cobble-stones with their hands as though they were the softest mother's breast, and licked up the sweet milk like thirsty sucking pigs, while their mothers cursed the coarse men who thought of nothing but themselves. "burgomaster!" resumed the commandant, still more excited by the repulsive sight, "let us go on the roof and see what the swedes are doing; afterwards we will talk of the other matter. as you see, all bonds are broken: one takes what another has not the power to hold; family life threatens to dissolve, and young people live anyhow; every moment one may fear an uprising." the burgomaster did not listen to him, but ascended the attic stairs till he crept out through a garret window between the beams on to the stair-like offsets of the wall. up these he clambered to the gable crowned by a flagstaff to which a telescope had been fastened. underneath him lay the town in its desolation. not a single whole roof was to be seen; not a tree was left in the old garden--they had all been used for food or fuel. along the lake shore all the houses had been pulled down and all the gardens destroyed in order to furnish material for the ramparts. through the streets streamed ragged, hungry, dirty men with wild gestures, all evidently on their way to the inn, "zur krone," round which a crowd was beginning to gather. the burgomaster now looked through the telescope which was directed to the opposite shore. there were ranged row on row of hills, dotted over with white steep-roofed farms, surrounded by pillaged orchards and vineyards. enclosed in the midst of them lay eschach, where the swedish headquarters were. an unwonted bustle was perceptible round the blue and yellow standards, and soldiers seemed to be making some preparations with the cannon which the burgomaster during the long siege had learnt to know well. he had even given the worst beasts in the first siege-battery nicknames. a great scoundrel of red copper, which had smashed the painted windows of the town church, he had named "the red dog." on the left a great mortar, known as "the blunderbuss," was a regular scupper-hole when it began to discharge its contents. "the devil's grand-mother" was the name he gave to a third, made of swedish iron and said to be the king's own invention. and so on with the rest. but behind the besiegers' rampart, on a garden terrace, he saw the swedish field-mar-shall sitting with his officers and drinking "lake-wine"--their wine which they had cultivated and vintaged and then, stupidly enough, left in the cellars on the opposite shore. as they smoked and drank the officers were studying a drawing, which, however, did not seem to be a map. it reminded the burgomaster of a rumour that wrangel had wished to transport the bavarian castle aschaffenburg to his estates by a lake in sweden; but as that was impracticable it was said that he had caused designs of the building to be drawn up by an architect, after he had first stripped it of its furniture and other contents. the sight of the wine and the tobacco aroused for a moment the burgomaster's lower desires, which had been so long suppressed, but his hatred and his grief, which he had cherished for a generation, soon reasserted themselves. for those who had no more food nor drink, who had been deprived of everything dear to them and of peace, nothing remained but honour. by the side of his daughter whom he had himself killed (though he could not adduce this secret as a reason for his obstinacy), he had sworn that he would not give up the keys of the town as long as he was alive. suddenly he saw a cloud of smoke rise from "the red dog," heard a cannon ball whir over his head and then land on the road below, where it was greeted with a loud outcry. "the keys, burgomaster, or we are lost!" cried the commandant, who had mounted the gable stairs. "to your place, commandant, on the rampart, or you will be hung!" answered the burgomaster. "give up the keys, or we will come and fetch them!" roared the major. "come then and fetch them!" was the reply. a number of heads looked out of the garret window, and there was a repeated outcry for the keys. "go down from the roof, they are aiming at us!" cried the burgomaster to the people, who began to clamber up the gable steps in order to put their threat into execution. the next moment the flagstaff was shivered into splinters, struck by a bullet. the burgomaster turned half round and would have fallen, if he had not supported himself on his great sword. he now drew himself up and remained standing on the topmost ridge of the roof, like a stone statue on a cathedral. the people below, however, who had greeted the courageous bearing of their burgomaster with a cheer, were impelled anew by their fears to make an attempt against him, as the keys of the town were in his possession and until they were given up the formal surrender of the town could not take place. with the help of the malcontents, the commandant ventured on a last attack against the immovable burgomaster. accordingly he mounted to the top of the dangerous stairs, drew his sword, and demanded that the burgomaster should descend or defend himself where he stood. but it soon was evident that the latter's position was impregnable; and convinced of the impossibility of compelling him to give up the keys, the commandant turned to the people and asked them three times successively whether they accorded him the right to open the town gate and to hoist the white flag. his question being greeted with an enthusiastic affirmative, he returned the same way as he had come to the ramparts, accompanied by the crowd. the burgomaster, who had remained behind alone, and perceived that there was no more hope of saving the town, seemed at first to collapse, but he immediately rose up again as though he had formed a resolve. with trembling hand he opened his bag, took the great keys out, and after he had made the sign of the cross, he threw them as far out into the lake as he could. when they had disappeared in the deep waters, he fell again on his knees and with folded hands commenced a long, low prayer. he would like to have made himself deaf just now, but while he called on god and the holy virgin he seemed to hear the blows of axes against the city gate, through which the enemy would enter to pillage and rape, to hang and to burn. but after he had prayed a while he became aware that silence lay over the whole town, and that the cannonade had ceased. only from the ramparts came a low hum of voices which seemed to be speaking all together; the sound swelled louder and louder till it grew to an uproar and a shout of joy. he rose from his kneeling attitude and saw a white flag waving from the swedish headquarters. then there sounded a peal of trumpets and a roll of drums which were answered in a similar way from the ramparts of lindau. this was followed by the sound of axe strokes against the city gate. a boat pushed off from the swedish camp and military music sounded from the opposite shore. and now a cry went through the streets of the town--at first a mere meaningless noise like the sound of waves breaking on the beach; but it came nearer, and presently he could distinguish the final word "concluded," without knowing whether it referred to the capitulation of the town or something else. but the cry became clearer and clearer as the crowd stormed along the shore of the lake, and waving their hats and caps called up to their valiant burgomaster, "peace is concluded!" * * * * * "te deum laudamus!" was sung in the evening in the franciscan church, while the inhabitants of the town intoxicated themselves with the contents of the wine barrels which had been brought from the surrounding villages. when the service was over the burgomaster and the commandant sat with a jug of wine between them in the "zur krone'" inn. in one of the roof-beams was embedded the black bullet which had shot down the flagstaff. the burgomaster contemplated it and smiled--smiled for the first time after ten years. but he suddenly started as though he had done something wrong. "the last shot!" he said. "it is long since the first was fired in prague--a whole generation. since then bohemia has lost two million men out of its three, and in the rheinpfalz only a fiftieth part of the inhabitants remain; saxony lost one million out of two; augsburg does not now count more than eighteen of its eighty thousand. in our poor bavaria two years ago a hundred villages went up in smoke and flame. hessen laments seventeen towns, seven and forty castles, and four hundred villages. all because of the augsburg confession! for the sake of the augsburg confession germany has been laid waste, torn to pieces, cut off from all the seas, left without air, choked, and has miserably perished. finis germaniae." "i don't think it was the augsburg confession which did it," objected the commandant. "see the frenchmen celebrating their masses like good catholics in the swedish camp. no, it was something else." "well, it may perhaps have been something else," answered the burgomaster. he emptied his glass and went home to sleep quietly--for the first time after thirty years--thirty terrible years. _from a swedish_ homestead _from a swedish_ homestead _by_ selma lagerlöf _translated by_ jessie brochner [illustration] garden city new york doubleday, page & company 1916 _copyright, 1901, by_ doubleday, page & company _a_ list _of the_ stories _page_ _the_ story _of a_ country house 1 _queens at_ kungahälla 135 _on the_ site _of the great_ kungahälla 135 _the forest_ queen 141 sigrid storräde 157 astrid 172 _old_ agnete 219 _the fisherman's_ ring 231 _santa_ caterina _of_ siena 257 _the empress's_ money-chest 277 _the_ peace _of_ god 291 _a_ story _from_ halstanäs 309 _the_ inscription _on the_ grave 323 _the_ brothers 339 _from a swedish_ homestead i _the_ story _of a_ country house _the_ story _of a_ country house i it was a beautiful autumn day towards the end of the thirties. there was in upsala at that time a high, yellow, two-storied house, which stood quite alone in a little meadow on the outskirts of the town. it was a rather desolate and dismal-looking house, but was rendered less so by the virginia-creepers which grew there in profusion, and which had crept so high up the yellow wall on the sunny side of the house that they completely surrounded the three windows on the upper story. at one of these windows a student was sitting, drinking his morning coffee. he was a tall, handsome fellow, of distinguished appearance. his hair was brushed back from his forehead; it curled prettily, and a lock was continually falling into his eyes. he wore a loose, comfortable suit, but looked rather smart all the same. his room was well furnished. there was a good sofa and comfortable chairs, a large writing-table, a capital bookcase, but hardly any books. before he had finished his coffee another student entered the room. the new-comer was a totally different-looking man. he was a short, broad-shouldered fellow, squarely built and strong, ugly, with a large head, thin hair, and coarse complexion. 'hede,' he said, 'i have come to have a serious talk with you.' 'has anything unpleasant happened to you?' 'oh no, not to me,' the other answered; 'it is really you it concerns.' he sat silent for a while, and looked down. 'it is so awfully unpleasant having to tell you.' 'leave it alone, then,' suggested hede. he felt inclined to laugh at his friend's solemnity. 'i can't leave it alone any longer,' said his visitor. 'i ought to have spoken to you long ago, but it is hardly my place. you understand? i can't help thinking you will say to yourself: "there's gustaf alin, son of one of our cottagers, thinks himself such a great man now that he can order me about."' 'my dear fellow,' hede said, 'don't imagine i think anything of the kind. my father's father was a peasant's son.' 'yes, but no one thinks of that now,' alin answered. he sat there, looking awkward and stupid, resuming every moment more and more of his peasant manners, as if that could help him out of his difficulty. 'when i think of the difference there is between your family and mine, i feel as if i ought to keep quiet; but when i remember that it was your father who, by his help in days gone by, enabled me to study, then i feel that i must speak.' hede looked at him with a pleasant smile. 'you had better speak out and have done with it,' he said. 'the thing is,' alin said, 'i have heard people say that you don't do any work. they say you have hardly opened a book during the four terms you have been at the university. they say you don't do anything but play on the violin the whole day; and that i can quite believe, for you never wanted to do anything else when you were at school in falu, although there you were obliged to work.' hede straightened himself a little in his chair. alin grew more and more uncomfortable, but he continued with stubborn resolution: 'i suppose you think that anyone owning an estate like munkhyttan ought to be able to do as he likes--work if he likes, or leave it alone. if he takes his exam., good; if he does not take his exam., what does it matter? for in any case you will never be anything but a landed proprietor and iron-master. you will live at munkhyttan all your life. i understand quite well that is what you must think.' hede was silent, and alin seemed to see him surrounded by the same wall of distinction which in alin's eyes had always surrounded his father, the squire, and his mother. 'but, you see, munkhyttan is no longer what it used to be when there was iron in the mine,' he continued cautiously. 'the squire knew that very well, and that was why it was arranged before his death that you should study. your poor mother knows it, too, and the whole parish knows it. the only one who does not know anything is you, hede.' 'don't you think i know,' hede said a little irritably, 'that the iron-mine cannot be worked any longer?' 'oh yes,' alin said, 'i dare say you know that much, but you don't know that it is all up with the property. think the matter over, and you will understand that one cannot live from farming alone at vesterdalarne. i cannot understand why your mother has kept it a secret from you. but, of course, she has the sole control of the estate, so she need not ask your advice about anything. everybody at home knows that she is hard up. they say she drives about borrowing money. i suppose she did not want to disturb you with her troubles, but thought that she could keep matters going until you had taken your degree. she will not sell the estate before you have finished, and made yourself a new home.' hede rose, and walked once or twice up and down the floor. then he stopped opposite alin. 'but what on earth are you driving at, alin? do you want to make me believe that we are not rich?' 'i know quite well that, until lately, you have been considered rich people at home,' alin said. 'but you can understand that things must come to an end when it is a case of always spending and never earning anything. it was a different thing when you had the mine.' hede sat down again. 'my mother would surely have told me if there were anything the matter,' he said. 'i am grateful to you, alin; but you have allowed yourself to be frightened by some silly stories.' 'i thought that you did not know anything,' alin continued obstinately. 'at munkhyttan your mother saves and works in order to get the money to keep you at upsala, and to make it cheerful and pleasant for you when you are at home in the vacations. and in the meantime you are here doing nothing, because you don't know there is trouble coming. i could not stand any longer seeing you deceiving each other. her ladyship thought you were studying, and you thought she was rich. i could not let you destroy your prospects without saying anything.' hede sat quietly for a moment, and meditated. then he rose and gave alin his hand with rather a sad smile. 'you understand that i feel you are speaking the truth, even if i _will_ not believe you? thanks.' alin joyfully shook his hand. 'you must know, hede, that if you will only work no harm is done. with your brains, you can take your degree in three or four years.' hede straightened himself. 'do not be uneasy, alin,' he said; 'i am going to work hard now.' alin rose and went towards the door, but hesitated. before he reached it he turned round. 'there was something else i wanted,' he said. he again became embarrassed. 'i want you to lend me your violin until you have commenced reading in earnest.' 'lend you my violin?' 'yes; pack it up in a silk handkerchief, and put it in the case, and let me take it with me, or otherwise you will read to no purpose. you will begin to play as soon as i am out of the room. you are so accustomed to it now you cannot resist if you have it here. one cannot get over that kind of thing unless someone helps one; it gets the mastery over one.' hede appeared unwilling. 'this is madness, you know,' he said. 'no, hede, it is not. you know you have inherited it from the squire. it runs in your blood. ever since you have been your own master here in upsala you have done nothing else but play. you live here in the outskirts of the town simply not to disturb anyone by your playing. you cannot help yourself in this matter. let me have the violin.' 'well,' said hede, 'before i could not help playing, but now munkhyttan is at stake; i am more fond of my home than of my violin.' but alin was determined, and continued to ask for the violin. 'what is the good of it?' hede said. 'if i want to play, i need not go many steps to borrow another violin.' 'i know that,' alin replied, 'but i don't think it would be so bad with another violin. it is your old italian violin which is the greatest danger for you. and besides, i would suggest your locking yourself in for the first few days--only until you have got fairly started.' he begged and begged, but hede resisted; he would not stand anything so unreasonable as being a prisoner in his own room. alin grew crimson. 'i must have the violin with me,' he said, 'or it is no use at all.' he spoke eagerly and excitedly. 'i had not intended to say anything about it, but i know that it concerns more than munkhyttan. i saw a young girl at the promotion ball in the spring who, people said, was engaged to you. i don't dance, you know, but i liked to watch her when she was dancing, looking radiant like one of the lilies of the field. and when i heard that she was engaged to you, i felt sorry for her.' 'why?' 'because i knew that you would never succeed if you continued as you had begun. and then i swore that she should not have to spend her whole life waiting for one who never came. she should not sit and wither whilst waiting for you. i did not want to meet her in a few years with sharpened features and deep wrinkles round her mouth----' he stopped suddenly; hede's glance had rested so searchingly upon him. but gunnar hede had already understood that alin was in love with his _fiancée_. it moved him deeply that alin under these circumstances tried to save him, and, influenced by this feeling, he yielded and gave him the violin. when alin had gone, hede read desperately for a whole hour, but then he threw away his book. it was not of much good his reading. it would be three or four years before he could be finished, and who could guarantee that the estate would not be sold in the meantime? he felt almost with terror how deeply he loved the old home. it was like witchery. every room, every tree, stood clearly before him. he felt he could not part with any of it if he were to be happy. and he was to sit quietly with his books whilst all this was about to pass away from him. he became more and more restless; he felt the blood beating in his temples as if in a fever. and then he grew quite beside himself because he could not take his violin and play himself calm again. 'my god!' he said, 'alin will drive me mad. first to tell me all this, and then to take away my violin! a man like i must feel the bow between his fingers in sorrow and in joy. i must do something; i must get money, but i have not an idea in my head. i cannot think without my violin.' he could not endure the feeling of being locked in. he was so angry with alin, who had thought of this absurd plan, that he was afraid he might strike him the next time he came. of course he would have played, if he had had the violin, for that was just what he needed. his blood rushed so wildly, that he was nearly going out of his mind. just as hede was longing most for his violin a wandering musician began to play outside. it was an old blind man. he played out of tune and without expression, but hede was so overcome by hearing a violin just at this moment that he listened with tears in his eyes and with his hands folded. the next moment he flung open the window and climbed to the ground by the help of the creepers. he had no compunction at leaving his work. he thought the violin had simply come to comfort him in his misfortune. hede had probably never before begged so humbly for anything as he did now, when he asked the old blind man to lend him his violin. he stood the whole time with his cap in his hand, although the old man was blind. the musician did not seem to understand what he wanted. he turned to the young girl who was leading him. hede bowed to the poor girl and repeated his request. she looked at him, as if she must have eyes for them both. the glance from her big eyes was so steady that hede thought he could feel where it struck him. it began with his collar, and it noticed that the frills of his shirt were well starched, then it saw that his coat was brushed, next that his boots were polished. hede had never before been subjected to such close scrutiny. he saw clearly that he would not pass muster before those eyes. but it was not so, all the same. the young girl had a strange way of smiling. her face was so serious, that one had the impression when she smiled that it was the first and only time she had ever looked happy; and now one of these rare smiles passed over her lips. she took the violin from the old man and handed it to hede. 'play the waltz from "freischütz," then,' she said. hede thought it was strange that he should have to play a waltz just at that moment, but, as a matter of fact, it was all the same to him what he played, if he could only have a bow in his hand. that was all he wanted. the violin at once began to comfort him; it spoke to him in faint, cracked tones. 'i am only a poor man's violin,' it said; 'but such as i am, i am a comfort and help to a poor blind man. i am the light and the colour and the brightness in his life. it is i who must comfort him in his poverty and old age and blindness.' hede felt that the terrible depression that had cowed his hopes began to give way. 'you are young and strong,' the violin said to him. 'you can fight and strive; you can hold fast that which tries to escape you. why are you downcast and without courage?' hede had played with lowered eyes; now he threw back his head and looked at those who stood around him. there was quite a crowd of children and people from the street, who had come into the yard to listen to the music. it appeared, however, that they had not come solely for the sake of the music. the blind man and his companion were not the only ones in the troupe. opposite hede stood a figure in tights and spangles, and with bare arms crossed over his chest. he looked old and worn, but hede could not help thinking that he looked a devil of a fellow with his high chest and long moustaches. and beside him stood his wife, little and fat, and not so very young either, but beaming with joy over her spangles and flowing gauze skirts. during the first bars of the music they stood still and counted, then a gracious smile passed over their faces, and they took each other's hands and began to dance on a small carpet. and hede saw that during all the equilibristic tricks they now performed the woman stood almost still, whilst her husband did all the work. he sprang over her, and twirled round her, and vaulted over her. the woman scarcely did anything else but kiss her hand to the spectators. but hede did not really take much notice of them. his bow began to fly over the strings. it told him that there was happiness in fighting and overcoming. it almost deemed him happy because everything was at stake for him. hede stood there, playing courage and hope into himself, and did not think of the old tight-rope dancers. but suddenly he saw that they grew restless. they no longer smiled; they left off kissing their hands to the spectators; the acrobat made mistakes, and his wife began to sway to and fro in waltz time. hede played more and more eagerly. he left off 'freischütz' and rushed into an old 'nixie polka,' one which generally sent all the people mad when played at the peasant festivals. the old tight-rope dancers quite lost their heads. they stood in breathless astonishment, and at last they could resist no longer. they sprang into each other's arms, and then they began to dance a waltz in the middle of the carpet. how they danced! dear me, how they danced! they took small, tripping steps, and whirled round in a small circle; they hardly went outside the carpet, and their faces beamed with joy and delight. there was the happiness of youth and the rapture of love over these two old people. the whole crowd was jubilant at seeing them dance. the serious little companion of the blind man smiled all over her face, and hede grew much excited. just fancy what an effect his violin could have! it made people quite forget themselves. it was a great power to have at his disposal. any moment he liked he could take possession of his kingdom. only a couple of years' study abroad with a great master, and he could go all over the world, and by his playing earn riches and honour and fame. it seemed to hede that these acrobats must have come to tell him this. that was the road he should follow; it lay before him clear and smooth. he said to himself: 'i will--i _will_ become a musician! i _must_ be one! this is better than studying. i can charm my fellow-men with my violin; i can become rich.' hede stopped playing. the acrobats at once came up and complimented him. the man said his name was blomgren. that was his real name; he had other names when he performed. he and his wife were old circus people. mrs. blomgren in former days had been called miss viola, and had performed on horseback; and although they had now left the circus, they were still true artists--artists body and soul. that he had probably already noticed; that was why they could not resist his violin. hede walked about with the acrobats for a couple of hours. he could not part with the violin, and the old artists' enthusiasm for their profession appealed to him. he was simply testing himself. 'i want to find out whether there is the proper stuff for an artist in me. i want to see if i can call forth enthusiasm. i want to see whether i can make children and idlers follow me from house to house.' on their way from house to house mr. blomgren threw an old threadbare mantle around him, and mrs. blomgren enveloped herself in a brown cloak. thus arrayed, they walked at hede's side and talked. mr. blomgren would not speak of all the honour he and mrs. blomgren had received during the time they had performed in a real circus; but the _directeur_ had given mrs. blomgren her dismissal under the pretence that she was getting too stout. mr. blomgren had not been dismissed: he had himself resigned his position. surely no one could think that mr. blomgren would remain with a _directeur_ who had dismissed his wife! mrs. blomgren loved her art, and for her sake mr. blomgren had made up his mind to live as a free artist, so that she could still continue to perform. during the winter, when it was too cold to give performances in the street, they performed in a tent. they had a very comprehensive repertoire. they gave pantomimes, and were jugglers and conjurers. the circus had cast them off, but art had not, said mr. blomgren. they served art always. it was well worth being faithful to art, even unto death. always artists--always. that was mr. blomgren's opinion, and it was also mrs. blomgren's. hede walked quietly and listened. his thoughts flew restlessly from plan to plan. sometimes events happen which become like symbols, like signs, which one must obey. there must be some meaning in what had now happened to him. if he could only understand it rightly, it might help him towards arriving at a wise resolution. mr. blomgren asked the student to notice the young girl who was leading the blind man. had he ever before seen such eyes? did he not think that such eyes must mean something? could one have those eyes without being intended for something great? hede turned round and looked at the little pale girl. yes, she had eyes like stars, set in a sad and rather thin face. 'our lord knows always what he is about,' said mrs. blomgren; 'and i also believe that he has some reason for letting such an artist as mr. blomgren perform in the street. but what was he thinking about when he gave that girl those eyes and that smile?' 'i will tell you something,' said mr. blomgren; 'she has not the slightest talent for art. and with those eyes!' hede had a suspicion that they were not talking to him, but simply for the benefit of the young girl. she was walking just behind them, and could hear every word. 'she is not more than thirteen years old, and not by any means too old to learn something; but, impossible--impossible, without the slightest talent! if one does not want to waste one's time, sir, teach her to sew, but not to stand on her head. her smile makes people quite mad about her,' mr. blomgren continued. 'simply on account of her smile she has had many offers from families wishful to adopt her. she could grow up in a well-to-do home if she would only leave her grandfather. but what does she want with a smile that makes people mad about her, when she will never appear either on horseback or on a trapeze?' 'we know other artists,' said mrs. blomgren, 'who pick up children in the street and train them for the profession when they cannot perform any longer themselves. there is more than one who has been lucky enough to create a star and obtain immense salaries for her. but mr. blomgren and i have never thought of the money; we have only thought of some day seeing ingrid flying through a hoop whilst the whole circus resounded with applause. for us it would have been as if we were beginning life over again.' 'why do we keep her grandfather?' said mr. blomgren. 'is he an artist fit for us? we could, no doubt, have got a previous member of a hofkapell if we had wished. but we love that child; we cannot do without her; we keep the old man for her sake.' 'is it not naughty of her that she will not allow us to make an artist of her?' they said. hede turned round. the little girl's face wore an expression of suffering and patience. he could see that she knew that anyone who could not dance on the tight-rope was a stupid and contemptible person. at the same moment they came to another house, but before they began their performance hede sat down on an overturned wheelbarrow and began to preach. he defended the poor little girl. he reproached mr. and mrs. blomgren for wishing to hand her over to the great, cruel public, who would love and applaud her for a time, but when she grew old and worn out, they would let her trudge along the streets in rain and cold. no; he or she was artist enough, who made a fellow-being happy. ingrid should only have eyes and smiles for one, should keep them for one only; and this one should never leave her, but give her a safe home as long as he lived. tears came into hede's eyes whilst he spoke. he spoke more to himself than to the others. he felt it suddenly as something terrible to be thrust out into the world, to be severed from the quiet home-life. he saw that the great, star-like eyes of the girl began to sparkle. it seemed as if she had understood every single word. it seemed as if she again felt the right to live. but mr. blomgren and his wife had become very serious. they pressed hede's hand and promised him that they would never again try and persuade the little girl to become an artist. she should be allowed to lead the life she wished. he had touched them. they were artists--artists body and soul; they understood what he meant when he spoke of love and faithfulness. then hede parted from them and went home. he no longer tried to find any secret meaning in his adventure. after all, it had meant nothing more than that he should save this poor sorrowful child from always grieving over her incapacity. ii munkhyttan, the home of gunnar hede, was situated in a poor parish in the forests of vesterdalarne. it was a large, thinly-populated parish, with which nature had dealt very stingily. there were stony, forest-covered hills, and many small lakes. the people could not possibly have earned a livelihood there had they not had the right to travel about the country as pedlars. but to make up for it, the whole of this poor district was full of old tales of how poor peasant lads and lassies had gone into the world with a pack of goods on their backs, to return in gilded coaches, with the boxes under the seats filled with money. one of the very best stories was about hede's grandfather. he was the son of a poor musician, and had grown up with his violin in his hand, and when he was seventeen years old he had gone out into the world with his pack on his back. but wherever he went his violin had helped him in his business. he had by turns gathered people together by his music and sold them silk handkerchiefs, combs, and pins. all his trading had been brought about with music and merriment, and things had gone so well with him that he had at last been able to buy munkhyttan, with its mine and ironworks, from the poverty-stricken baron who then owned the property. then he became the squire, and the pretty daughter of the baron became his wife. from that time the old family, as they were always called, had thought of nothing else but beautifying the place. they removed the main building on to the beautiful island which lay on the edge of a small lake, round which lay their fields and their mines. the upper story had been added in their time, for they wanted to have plenty of room for their numerous guests; and they had also added the two large flights of steps outside. they had planted ornamental trees all over the fir-covered island. they had made small winding pathways in the stony soil, and on the most beautiful spots they had built small pavilions, hanging like large birds'-nests over the lake. the beautiful french roses that grew on the terrace, the dutch furniture, the italian violin, had all been brought to the house by them. and it was they who had built the wall protecting the orchard from the north wind, and the conservatory. the old family were merry, kind-hearted, old-fashioned people. the squire's wife certainly liked to be a little aristocratic; but that was not at all in the old squire's line. in the midst of all the luxury which surrounded him he never forgot what he had been, and in the room where he transacted his business, and where people came and went, the pack and the red-painted, home-made violin were hung right above the old man's desk. even after his death the pack and the violin remained in the same place. and every time the old man's son and grandson saw them their hearts swelled with gratitude. it was these two poor implements that had created munkhyttan, and munkhyttan was the best thing in the world. whatever the reason might be--and it was probably because it seemed natural to the place that one lived a good, genial life there, free from trouble--hede's family clung to the place with greater love than was good for it. and more especially gunnar hede was so strongly attached to it that people said that it was incorrect to say of him that he owned an estate. on the contrary, it was an old estate in vesterdalarne that owned gunnar hede. if he had not made himself a slave of an old rambling manor-house and some acres of land and forest, and some stunted apple-trees, he would probably have continued his studies, or, better still, gone abroad to study music, which, after all, was no doubt his proper vocation in this world. but when he returned from upsala, and it became clear to him that they really would have to sell the estate if he could not soon earn a lot of money, he decided upon giving up all his other plans, and made up his mind to go out into the world as a pedlar, as his grandfather before him had done. his mother and his _fiancée_ besought him rather to sell the place than to sacrifice himself for it in this manner, but he was not to be moved. he put on peasant's attire, bought goods, and began to travel about the country as a pedlar. he thought that if he only traded a couple of years he could earn enough to pay the debt and save the estate. and as far as the latter was concerned he was successful enough. but he brought upon himself a terrible misfortune. when he had walked about with his pack for a year or so he thought that he would try and earn a large sum of money at one stroke. he went far north and bought a large flock of goats, about a couple of hundred. and he and a comrade intended to drive them down to a large fair in vermland, where goats cost twice as much as in the north. if he succeeded in selling all his goats, he would do a very good business. it was in the beginning of november, and there had not yet been any snow, when hede and his comrade set out with their goats. the first day everything went well with them, but the second day, when they came to the great fifty-mile forest, it began to snow. much snow fell, and it stormed and blew severely. it was not long before it became difficult for the animals to make their way through the snow. goats are certainly both plucky and hardy animals, and the herd struggled on for a considerable time; but the snow-storm lasted two days and two nights, and it was terribly cold. hede did all he could to save the animals, but after the snow began to fall he could get them neither food nor water. and when they had worked their way through deep snow for a whole day they became very footsore. their feet hurt them, and they would not go any longer. the first goat that threw itself down by the roadside and would not get up again and follow the herd hede lifted on to his shoulder so as not to leave it behind. but when another and again another lay down he could not carry them. there was nothing to do but to look the other way and go on. do you know what the fifty-mile forest is like? not a farmhouse, not a cottage, mile after mile, only forest; tall-stemmed fir-trees, with bark as hard as wood, and high branches; no young trees with soft bark and soft twigs that the animals could eat. if there had been no snow, they could have got through the forest in a couple of days; now they could not get through it at all. all the goats were left there, and the men too nearly perished. they did not meet a single human being the whole time. no one helped them. hede tried to throw the snow to one side so that the goats could eat the moss; but the snow fell so thickly, and the moss was frozen fast to the ground. and how could he get food for two hundred animals in this way? he bore it bravely until the goats began to moan. the first day they were a lively, rather noisy herd. he had had hard work to make them all keep together, and prevent them from butting each other to death. but when they seemed to understand that they could not be saved their nature changed, and they completely lost their courage. they all began to bleat and moan, not faintly and peevishly, as goats usually do, but loudly, louder and louder as the danger increased. and when hede heard their cries he felt quite desperate. they were in the midst of the wild, desolate forest; there was no help whatever obtainable. goat after goat dropped down by the roadside. the snow gathered round them and covered them. when hede looked back at this row of drifts by the wayside, each hiding the body of an animal, of which one could still see the projecting horns and the hoofs, then his brain began to give way. he rushed at the animals, which allowed themselves to be covered by the snow, swung his whip over them, and hit them. it was the only way to save them, but they did not stir. he took them by the horns and dragged them along. they allowed themselves to be dragged, but they did not move a foot themselves. when he let go his hold of their horns, they licked his hands, as if beseeching him to help them. as soon as he went up to them they licked his hands. all this had such a strong effect upon hede that he felt he was on the point of going out of his mind. it is not certain, however, that things would have gone so badly with him had he not, after it was all over in the forest, gone to see one whom he loved dearly. it was not his mother, but his sweetheart. he thought himself that he had gone there because he ought to tell her at once that he had lost so much money that he would not be able to marry for many years. but no doubt he went to see her solely to hear her say that she loved him quite as much in spite of his misfortunes. he thought that she could drive away the memory of the fifty-mile forest. she could, perhaps, have done this, but she would not. she was already displeased because hede went about with a pack and looked like a peasant; she thought that for that reason alone it was difficult to love him as much as before. now, when he told her that he must still go on doing this for many years, she said that she could no longer wait for him. this last blow was too much for hede; his mind gave way. he did not grow quite mad, however; he retained so much of his senses that he could attend to his business. he even did better than others, for it amused people to make fun of him; he was always welcome at the peasants' houses. people plagued and teased him, but that was in a way good for him, as he was so anxious to become rich. and in the course of a few years he had earned enough to pay all his debts, and he could have lived free from worry on his estate. but this he did not understand; he went about half-witted and silly from farm to farm, and he had no longer any idea to what class of people he really belonged. iii raglanda was the name of a parish in the north of east vermland, near the borders of dalarne, where the dean had a large house, but the pastor only a small and poor one. but poor as they were at the small parsonage, they had been charitable enough to adopt a poor girl. she was a little girl, ingrid by name, and she had come to the parsonage when she was thirteen years old. the pastor had accidentally seen her at a fair, where she sat crying outside the tent of some acrobats. he had stopped and asked her why she was crying, and she had told him that her blind grandfather was dead, and that she had no relatives left. she now travelled with a couple of acrobats, and they were good to her, but she cried because she was so stupid that she could never learn to dance on the tight-rope and help to earn any money. there was a sorrowful grace over the child which touched the pastor's heart. he said at once to himself that he could not allow such a little creature to go to the bad amongst these wandering tramps. he went into the tent, where he saw mr. and mrs. blomgren, and offered to take the child home with him. the old acrobats began to weep, and said that although the girl was entirely unfitted for the profession, they would so very much like to keep her; but at the same time they thought she would be happier in a real home with people who lived in the same place all the year round, and therefore they were willing to give her up to the pastor if he would only promise them that she should be like one of his own children. this he had promised, and from that time the young girl had lived at the parsonage. she was a quiet, gentle child, full of love and tender care for those around her. at first her adopted parents loved her very dearly, but as she grew older she developed a strong inclination to lose herself in dreams and fancies. she lived in a world of visions, and in the middle of the day she could let her work fall and be lost in dreams. but the pastor's wife, who was a clever and hard-working woman, did not approve of this. she found fault with the young girl for being lazy and slow, and tormented her by her severity so that she became timid and unhappy. when she had completed her nineteenth year, she fell dangerously ill. they did not quite know what was the matter with her, for this happened long ago, when there was no doctor at raglanda, but the girl was very ill. they soon saw she was so ill that she could not live. she herself did nothing but pray to god that he would take her away from this world. she would so like to die, she said. then it seemed as if our lord would try whether she was in earnest. one night she felt that she grew stiff and cold all over her body, and a heavy lethargy fell upon her. 'i think this must be death,' she said to herself. but the strange thing was that she did not quite lose consciousness. she knew that she lay as if she were dead, knew that they wrapped her in her shroud and laid her in her coffin, but she felt no fear of being buried, although she was still alive. she had but the one thought that she was happy because she was about to die and leave this troublesome life. the only thing she was uneasy about was lest they should discover that she was not really dead and would not bury her. life must have been very bitter to her, inasmuch as she felt no fear of death whatever. but no one discovered that she was living. she was conveyed to the church, carried to the churchyard, and lowered into the grave. the grave, however, was not filled in; she had been buried before the service on sunday morning, as was the custom at raglanda. the mourners had gone into church after the funeral, and the coffin was left in the open grave; but as soon as the service was over they would come back, and help the grave-digger to fill in the grave. the young girl knew everything that happened, but felt no fear. she had not been able to make the slightest movement to show that she was alive, even if she had wanted to; but even if she had been able to move, she would not have done so; the whole time she was happy because she was as good as dead. but, on the other hand, one could hardly say that she was alive. she had neither the use of her mind nor of her senses. it was only that part of the soul which dreams dreams during the night that was still living within her. she could not even think enough to realize how terrible it would be for her to awake when the grave was filled in. she had no more power over her mind than has one who dreams. 'i should like to know,' she thought, 'if there is anything in the whole wide world that could make me wish to live.' as soon as that thought rushed through her it seemed to her as if the lid of the coffin, and the handkerchief which had been placed over her face, became transparent, and she saw before her riches and beautiful raiment, and lovely gardens with delicious fruits. 'no, i do not care for any of these things,' she said, and she closed her eyes for their glories. when she again looked up they had disappeared, but instead she saw quite distinctly a little angel of god sitting on the edge of the grave. 'good-morning, thou little angel of god,' she said to him. 'good-morning, ingrid,' the angel said. 'whilst thou art lying here doing nothing, i would like to speak a little with thee about days gone by.' ingrid heard distinctly every word the angel said; but his voice was not like anything she had ever heard before. it was more like a stringed instrument; it was not like singing, but like the tones of a violin or the clang of a harp. 'ingrid,' the angel said, 'dost thou remember, whilst thy grandfather was still living, that thou once met a young student, who went with thee from house to house playing the whole day on thy grandfather's violin?' the girl's face was lighted by a smile. 'dost thou think i have forgotten this?' she said. 'ever since that time no day has passed when i have not thought of him.' 'and no night when thou hast not dreamt of him?' 'no, not a night when i have not dreamt of him.' 'and thou wilt die, although thou rememberest him so well,' said the angel. 'then thou wilt never be able to see him again.' when he said this it was as if the dead girl felt all the happiness of love, but even that could not tempt her. 'no, no,' she said; 'i am afraid to live; i would rather die.' then the angel waved his hand, and ingrid saw before her a wide waste of desert. there were no trees, and the desert was barren and dry and hot, and extended in all directions without any limits. in the sand there lay, here and there, objects which at the first glance looked like pieces of rock, but when she examined them more closely, she saw they were the immense living animals of fairy tales, with huge claws and great jaws, with sharp teeth; they lay in the sand, watching for prey. and between these terrible animals the student came walking along. he went quite fearlessly, without suspecting that the figures around him were living. 'but warn him! do warn him!' ingrid said to the angel in unspeakable fear. 'tell him that they are living, and that he must take care.' 'i am not allowed to speak to him,' said the angel with his clear voice; 'thou must thyself warn him.' the apparently dead girl felt with horror that she lay powerless, and could not rush to save the student. she made one futile effort after the other to raise herself, but the impotence of death bound her. but then at last, at last, she felt her heart begin to beat, the blood rushed through her veins, the stiffness of death was loosened in her body. she arose and hastened towards him. iv it is quite certain the sun loves the open places outside the small village churches. has no one ever noticed that one never sees so much sunshine as during the morning service outside a small, whitewashed church? nowhere else does one see such radiant streams of light, nowhere else is the air so devoutly quiet. the sun simply keeps watch that no one remains on the church hill gossiping. it wants them all to sit quietly in church and listen to the sermon--that is why it sends such a wealth of sunny rays on to the ground outside the church wall. perhaps one must not take it for granted that the sun keeps watch outside the small churches every sunday; but so much is certain, that the morning ingrid had been placed in the grave in the churchyard at raglanda, it spread a burning heat over the open space outside the church. even the flint stones looked as if they might take fire as they lay and sparkled in the wheel-ruts. the short, down-trodden grass curled, so that it looked like dry moss, whilst the yellow dandelions which grew amongst the grass spread themselves out on their long stems, so that they became as large as asters. a man from dalarne came wandering along the road--one of those men who go about selling knives and scissors. he was clad in a long, white sheep-skin coat, and on his back he had a large black leather pack. he had been walking with this burden for several hours without finding it too hot, but when he had left the highroad, and came to the open place outside the church, he stopped and took off his hat in order to dry the perspiration from his forehead. as the man stood there bare-headed, he looked both handsome and clever. his forehead was high and white, with a deep wrinkle between the eyebrows; the mouth was well formed, with thin lips. his hair was parted in the middle; it was cut short at the back, but hung over his ears, and was inclined to curl. he was tall, and strongly, but not coarsely, built; in every respect well proportioned. but what was wrong about him was his glance, which was unsteady, and the pupils of his eyes rolled restlessly, and were drawn far into the sockets, as if to hide themselves. there was something drawn about the mouth, something dull and heavy, which did not seem to belong to the face. he could not be quite right, either, or he would not have dragged that heavy pack about on a sunday. if he had been quite in his senses, he would have known that it was of no use, as he could not sell anything in any case. none of the other men from dalarne who walked about from village to village bent their backs under this burden on a sunday, but they went to the house of god free and erect as other men. but this poor fellow probably did not know it was a holy day until he stood in the sunshine outside the church and heard the singing. he was sensible enough at once to understand that he could not do any business, and then his brain began to work as to how he should spend the day. he stood for a long time and stared in front of him. when everything went its usual course, he had no difficulty in managing. he was not so bad but that he could go from farm to farm all through the week and attend to his business, but he never could get accustomed to the sunday--that always came upon him as a great, unexpected trouble. his eyes became quite fixed, and the muscles of his forehead swelled. the first thought that took shape in his brain was that he should go into the church and listen to the singing, but he would not accept this suggestion. he was very fond of singing, but he dared not go into the church. he was not afraid of human beings, but in some churches there were such quaint, uncanny pictures, which represented creatures of which he would rather not think. at last his brain worked round to the thought that, as this was a church, there would probably also be a churchyard, and when he could take refuge in a churchyard all was well. one could not offer him anything better. if on his wanderings he saw a churchyard, he always went in and sat there awhile, even if it were in the middle of a workaday week. now that he wanted to go to the churchyard a new difficulty suddenly arose. the burial-place at raglanda does not lie quite near the church, which is built on a hill, but on the other side of the road; and he could not get to the entrance of the churchyard without passing along the road where the horses of the church-goers were standing tied up. all the horses stood with their heads deep in bundles of hay and nosebags, chewing. there was no question of their being able to do the man any harm, but he had his own ideas as to the danger of going past such a long row of animals. two or three times he made an attempt, but his courage failed him, so that he was obliged to turn back. he was not afraid that the horses would bite or kick. it was quite enough for him that they were so near that they could see him. it was quite enough that they could shake their bridles and scrape the earth with their hoofs. at last a moment came when all the horses were looking down, and seemed to be eating for a wager. then he began to make his way between them. he held his sheepskin cloak tightly around him so that it should not flap and betray him, and he went on tiptoe as lightly as he could. when a horse raised its eyelid and looked at him, he at once stopped and curtsied. he wanted to be polite in this great danger, but surely animals were amenable to reason, and could understand that he could not bow when he had a pack full of hardware upon his back; he could only curtsy. he sighed deeply, for in this world it was a sad and troublesome thing to be so afraid of all four-footed animals as he was. he was really not afraid of any other animals than goats, and he would not have been at all afraid of horses and dogs and cats had he only been quite sure that they were not a kind of transformed goats. but he never was quite sure of that, so as a matter of fact it was just as bad for him as if he had been afraid of all kinds of four-footed animals. it was no use his thinking of how strong he was, and that these small peasant horses never did any harm to anyone: he who has become possessed of such fears cannot reason with himself. fear is a heavy burden, and it is hard for him who must always carry it. it was strange that he managed to get past all the horses. the last few steps he took in two long jumps, and when he got into the churchyard he closed the gate after him, and began to threaten the horses with his clenched fist. 'you wretched, miserable, accursed goats!' he did that to all animals. he could not help calling them goats, and that was very stupid of him, for it had procured him a name which he did not like. everyone who met him called him the 'goat.' but he would not own to this name. he wanted to be called by his proper name, but apparently no one knew his real name in that district. he stood a little while at the gate, rejoicing at having escaped from the horses, but he soon went further into the churchyard. at every cross and every stone he stopped and curtsied, but this was not from fear: this was simply from joy at seeing these dear old friends. all at once he began to look quite gentle and mild. they were exactly the same crosses and stones he had so often seen before. they looked just as usual. how well he knew them again! he must say 'good-morning' to them. how nice it was in the churchyard! there were no animals about there, and there were no people to make fun of him. it was best there, when it was quite quiet as now; but even if there were people, they did not disturb him. he certainly knew many pretty meadows and woods which he liked still better, but there he was never left in peace. they could not by any means compare with the churchyard. and the churchyard was better than the forest, for in the forest the loneliness was so great that he was frightened by it. here it was quiet, as in the depths of the forest; but he was not without company. here people were sleeping under every stone and every mound; just the company he wanted in order not to feel lonely and strange. he went straight to the open grave. he went there partly because there were some shady trees, and partly because he wanted company. he thought, perhaps, that the dead who had so recently been laid in the grave might be a better protection against his loneliness than those who had passed away long ago. he bent his knees, with his back to the great mound of earth at the edge of the grave, and succeeded in pushing the pack upwards, so that it stood firmly on the mound, and he then loosened the heavy straps that fastened it. it was a great day--a holiday. he also took off his coat. he sat down on the grass with a feeling of great pleasure, so close to the grave that his long legs, with the stockings tied under the knee, and the heavy laced shoes dangled over the edge of the grave. for a while he sat still, with his eyes steadily fixed upon the coffin. when one was possessed by such fear as he was, one could not be too careful. but the coffin did not move in the least; it was impossible to suspect it of containing any snare. he was no sooner certain of this than he put his hand into a side-pocket of the pack and took out a violin and bow, and at the same time he nodded to the dead in the grave. as he was so quiet he should hear something pretty. this was something very unusual for him. there were not many who were allowed to hear him play. no one was ever allowed to hear him play at the farms, where they set the dogs at him and called him the 'goat'; but sometimes he would play in a house where they spoke softly, and went about quietly, and did not ask him if he wanted to buy any goat-skins. at such places he took out his violin and treated them to some music; and this was a great favour--the greatest he could bestow upon anybody. as he sat there and played at the edge of the grave it did not sound amiss; he did not play a wrong note, and he played so softly and gently that it could hardly be heard at the next grave. the strange thing about it was that it was not the man who could play, but it was his violin that could remember some small melodies. they came forth from the violin as soon as he let the bow glide over it. it might not, perhaps, have meant so much to others, but for him, who could not remember a single tune, it was the most precious gift of all to possess such a violin that could play by itself. whilst he played he sat with a beaming smile on his face. it was the violin that spoke and spoke; he only listened. was it not strange that one heard all these beautiful things as soon as one let the bow glide over the strings? the violin did that. it knew how it ought to be, and the dalar man only sat and listened. melodies grew out of that violin as grass grows out of the earth. no one could understand how it happened. our lord had ordered it so. the dalar man intended to remain sitting there the whole day, and let the dear tunes grow out of the violin like small white and many-coloured flowers. he would play a whole meadowful of flowers, play a whole long valleyful, a whole wide plain. but she who lay in the coffin distinctly heard the violin, and upon her it had a strange effect. the tones had made her dream, and what she had seen in her dreams caused her such emotion that her heart began to beat, her blood to flow, and she awoke. but all she had lived through while she lay there, apparently dead, the thoughts she had had, and also her last dream--everything vanished in the same moment she awoke to consciousness. she did not even know that she was lying in her coffin, but thought she was still lying ill at home in her bed. she only thought it strange that she was still alive. a little while ago, before she fell asleep, she had been in the pangs of death. surely, all must have been over with her long ago. she had taken leave of her adopted parents, and of her brothers and sisters, and of the servants. the dean had been there himself to administer the last communion, for her adopted father did not think he could bear to give it to her himself. for several days she had put away all earthly thoughts from her mind. it was incomprehensible that she was not dead. she wondered why it was so dark in the room where she lay. there had been a light all the other nights during her illness. and then they had let the blankets fall off the bed. she was lying there getting as cold as ice. she raised herself a little to pull the blankets over her. in doing so she knocked her head against the lid of the coffin, and fell back with a little scream of pain. she had knocked herself rather severely, and immediately became unconscious again. she lay as motionless as before, and it seemed as if life had again left her. the dalar man, who had heard both the knock and the cry, immediately laid down his violin and sat listening; but there was nothing more to be heard--nothing whatever. he began again to look at the coffin as attentively as before. he sat nodding his head, as if he would say 'yes' to what he was himself thinking about, namely, that nothing in this world was to be depended upon. here he had had the best and most silent of comrades, but had he not also been disappointed in him? he sat and looked at the coffin, as if trying to see right through it. at last, when it continued quite still, he took his violin again and began to play. but the violin would not play any longer. however gently and tenderly he drew his bow, there came forth no melody. this was so sad that he was nearly crying. he had intended to sit still and listen to his violin the whole day, and now it would not play any more. he could quite understand the reason. the violin was uneasy and afraid of what had moved in the coffin. it had forgotten all its melodies, and thought only of what it could be that had knocked at the coffin-lid. that is how it is one forgets everything when one is afraid. he saw that he would have to quiet the violin if he wanted to hear more. he had felt so happy, more so than for many years. if there was really anything bad in the coffin, would it not be better to let it out? then the violin would be glad, and beautiful flowers would again grow out of it. he quickly opened his big pack, and began to rummage amongst his knives and saws and hammers until he found a screw-driver. in another moment he was down in the grave on his knees and unscrewing the coffin-lid. he took out one screw after the other, until at last he could raise the lid against the side of the grave; at the same moment the handkerchief fell from off the face of the apparently dead girl. as soon as the fresh air reached ingrid, she opened her eyes. now she saw that it was light. they must have removed her. now she was lying in a yellow chamber with a green ceiling, and a large chandelier was hanging from the ceiling. the chamber was small, but the bed was still smaller. why had she the sensation of her arms and legs being tied? was it because she should lie still in the little narrow bed? it was strange that they had placed a hymn-book under her chin; they only did that with corpses. between her fingers she had a little bouquet. her adopted mother had cut a few sprigs from her flowering myrtle, and laid them in her hands. ingrid was very much surprised. what had come to her adopted mother? she saw that they had given her a pillow with broad lace, and a fine hem-stitched sheet. she was very glad of that; she liked to have things nice. still, she would rather have had a warm blanket over her. it could surely not be good for a sick person to lie without a blanket. ingrid was nearly putting her hands to her eyes and beginning to cry, she was so bitterly cold. at the same moment she felt something hard and cold against her cheek. she could not help smiling. it was the old, red wooden horse, the old three-legged camilla, that lay beside her on the pillow. her little brother, who could never sleep at night without having it with him in his bed, had put it in her bed. it was very sweet of her little brother. ingrid felt still more inclined to cry when she understood that her little brother had wanted to comfort her with his wooden horse. but she did not get so far as crying. the truth all at once flashed upon her. her little brother had given her the wooden horse, and her mother had given her her white myrtle flowers, and the hymn-book had been placed under her chin, because they had thought she was dead. ingrid took hold of the sides of the coffin with both hands and raised herself. the little narrow bed was a coffin, and the little narrow chamber was a grave. it was all very difficult to understand. she could not understand that this concerned her, that it was she who had been swathed like a corpse and placed in the grave. she must be lying all the same in her bed, and be seeing or dreaming all this. she would soon find out that this was no reality, but that everything was as usual. all at once she found the explanation of the whole thing--'i often have such strange dreams. this is only a vision'--and she sighed, relieved and happy. she laid herself down in her coffin again; she was so sure that it was her own bed, for that was not very wide either. all this time the dalar man stood in the grave, quite close to the foot of the coffin. he only stood a few feet from her, but she had not seen him; that was probably because he had tried to hide himself in the corner of the grave as soon as the dead in the coffin had opened her eyes and begun to move. she could, perhaps, have seen him, although he held the coffin-lid before him as a screen, had there not been something like a white mist before her eyes so that she could only see things quite near her distinctly. ingrid could not even see that there were earthen walls around her. she had taken the sun to be a large chandelier, and the shady lime-trees for a roof. the poor dalar man stood and waited for the thing that moved in the coffin to go away. it did not strike him that it would not go unrequested. had it not knocked because it wanted to get out? he stood for a long time with his head behind the coffin-lid and waited, that it should go. he peeped over the lid when he thought that now it must have gone. but it had not moved; it remained lying on its bed of shavings. he could not put up with it any longer; he must really make an end of it. it was a long time since his violin had spoken so prettily as to-day, he longed to sit again quietly with it. ingrid, who had nearly fallen asleep again, suddenly heard herself addressed in the sing-song dalar dialect: 'now, i think it is time you got up.' as soon as he had said this he hid his head. he shook so much over his boldness that he nearly let the lid fall. but the white mist which had been before ingrid's eyes disappeared completely when she heard a human being speaking. she saw a man standing in the corner, at the foot of the coffin, holding a coffin-lid before him. she saw at once that she could not lie down again and think it was a vision. surely he was a reality, which she must try and make out. it certainly looked as if the coffin were a coffin, and the grave a grave, and that she herself a few minutes ago was nothing but a swathed and buried corpse. for the first time she was terror-stricken at what had happened to her. to think that she could really have been dead that moment! she could have been a hideous corpse, food for worms. she had been placed in the coffin for them to throw earth upon her; she was worth no more than a piece of turf; she had been thrown aside altogether. the worms were welcome to eat her; no one would mind about that. ingrid needed so badly to have a fellow-creature near her in her great terror. she had recognized the goat directly he put up his head. he was an old acquaintance from the parsonage; she was not in the least afraid of him. she wanted him to come close to her. she did not mind in the least that he was an idiot. he was, at any rate, a living being. she wanted him to come so near to her that she could feel she belonged to the living and not to the dead. 'oh, for god's sake, come close to me!' she said, with tears in her voice. she raised herself in the coffin and stretched out her arms to him. but the dalar man only thought of himself. if she were so anxious to have him near her, he resolved to make his own terms. 'yes,' he said, 'if you will go away.' ingrid at once tried to comply with his request, but she was so tightly swathed in the sheet that she found it difficult to get up. 'you must come and help me,' she said. she said this, partly because she was obliged to do it, and partly because she was afraid that she had not quite escaped death. she must be near someone living. he actually went near her, squeezing himself between the coffin and the side of the grave. he bent over her, lifted her out of the coffin, and put her down on the grass at the side of the open grave. ingrid could not help it. she threw her arms round his neck, laid her head on his shoulder and sobbed. afterwards she could not understand how she had been able to do this, and that she was not afraid of him. it was partly from joy that he was a human being--a living human being--and partly from gratitude, because he had saved her. what would have become of her if it had not been for him? it was he who had raised the coffin-lid, who had brought her back to life. she certainly did not know how it had all happened, but it was surely he who had opened the coffin. what would have happened to her if he had not done this? she would have awakened to find herself imprisoned in the black coffin. she would have knocked and shouted; but who would have heard her six feet below the ground? ingrid dared not think of it; she was entirely absorbed with gratitude because she had been saved. she must have someone she could thank. she must lay her head on someone's breast and cry from gratitude. the most extraordinary thing, almost, that happened that day was, that the dalar man did not repulse her. but it was not quite clear to him that she was alive. he thought she was dead, and he knew it was not advisable to offend anyone dead. but as soon as he could manage, he freed himself from her and went down into the grave again. he placed the lid carefully on the coffin, put in the screws and fastened it as before. then he thought the coffin would be quite still, and the violin would regain its peace and its melodies. in the meantime ingrid sat on the grass and tried to collect her thoughts. she looked towards the church and discovered the horses and the carriages on the hillside. then she began to realize everything. it was sunday; they had placed her in the grave in the morning, and now they were in church. a great fear now seized ingrid. the service would, perhaps, soon be over, and then all the people would come out and see her. and she had nothing on but a sheet! she was almost naked. fancy, if all these people came and saw her in this state! they would never forget the sight. and she would be ashamed of it all her life. where should she get some clothes? for a moment she thought of throwing the dalar man's fur coat round her, but she did not think that that would make her any more like other people. she turned quickly to the crazy man, who was still working at the coffin-lid. 'oh,' she said, 'will you let me creep into your pack?' in a moment she stood by the great leather pack, which contained goods enough to fill a whole market-stall, and began to open it. 'you must come and help me.' she did not ask in vain. when the dalar man saw her touching his wares he came up at once. 'are you touching my pack?' he asked threateningly. ingrid did not notice that he spoke angrily; she considered him to be her best friend all the time. 'oh, dear good man,' she said, 'help me to hide, so that people will not see me. put your wares somewhere or other, and let me creep into the pack, and carry me home. oh, do do it! i live at the parsonage, and it is only a little way from here. you know where it is.' the man stood and looked at her with stupid eyes. she did not know whether he had understood a word of what she said. she repeated it, but he made no sign of obeying her. she began again to take the things out of the pack. then he stamped on the ground and tore the pack from her. however should ingrid be able to make him do what she wanted? on the grass beside her lay a violin and a bow. she took them up mechanically--she did not know herself why. she had probably been so much in the company of people playing the violin that she could not bear to see an instrument lying on the ground. as soon as she touched the violin he let go the pack, and tore the violin from her. he was evidently quite beside himself when anyone touched his violin. he looked quite malicious. what in the world could she do to get away before people came out of church? she began to promise him all sorts of things, just as one promises children when one wants them to be good. 'i will ask father to buy a whole dozen of scythes from you. i will lock up all the dogs when you come to the parsonage. i will ask mother to give you a good meal.' but there was no sign of his giving way. she bethought herself of the violin, and said in her despair: 'if you will carry me to the parsonage, i will play for you.' at last a smile flashed across his face. that was evidently what he wanted. 'i will play for you the whole afternoon; i will play for you as long as you like.' 'will you teach the violin new melodies?' he asked. 'of course i will.' but ingrid now became both surprised and unhappy, for he took hold of the pack and pulled it towards him. he dragged it over the graves, and the sweet-williams and southernwood that grew on them were crushed under it as if it were a roller. he dragged it to a heap of branches and wizened leaves and old wreaths lying near the wall round the churchyard. there he took all the things out of the pack, and hid them well under the heap. when it was empty he returned to ingrid. 'now you can get in,' he said. ingrid stepped into the pack, and crouched down on the wooden bottom. the man fastened all the straps as carefully as when he went about with his usual wares, bent down so that he nearly went on his knees, put his arms through the braces, buckled a couple of straps across his chest, and stood up. when he had gone a few steps he began to laugh. his pack was so light that he could have danced with it. * * * * * it was only about a mile from the church to the parsonage. the dalar man could walk it in twenty minutes. ingrid's only wish was that he would walk so quickly that she could get home before the people came back from church. she could not bear the idea of so many people seeing her. she would like to get home when only her mother and the maid-servants were there. ingrid had taken with her the little bouquet of flowers from her adopted mother's myrtle. she was so pleased with it that she kissed it over and over again. it made her think more kindly of her adopted mother than she had ever done before. but in any case she would, of course, think kindly of her now. one who has come straight from the grave must think kindly and gently of everything living and moving on the face of the earth. she could now understand so well that the pastor's wife was bound to love her own children more than her adopted daughter. and when they were so poor at the parsonage that they could not afford to keep a nursemaid, she could see now that it was quite natural that she should look after her little brothers and sisters. and when her brothers and sisters were not good to her, it was because they had become accustomed to think of her as their nurse. it was not so easy for them to remember that she had come to the parsonage to be their sister. and, after all, it all came from their being poor. when father some day got another living, and became dean, or even rector, everything would surely come right. then they would love her again, as they did when she first came to them. the good old times would be sure to come back again. ingrid kissed her flowers. it had not been mother's intention, perhaps, to be hard; it was only worry that had made her so strange and unkind. but now it would not matter how unkind they were to her. in the future nothing could hurt her, for now she would always be glad, simply because she was alive. and if things should ever be really bad again, she would only think of mother's myrtle and her little brother's horse. it was happiness enough to know that she was being carried along the road alive. this morning no one had thought that she would ever again go over these roads and hills. and the fragrant clover and the little birds singing and the beautiful shady trees, which had all been a source of joy for the living, had not even existed for her. but she had not much time for reflection, for in twenty minutes the dalar man had reached the parsonage. no one was at home but the pastor's wife and the maid-servants, just as ingrid had wished. the pastor's wife had been busy the whole morning cooking for the funeral feast. she soon expected the guests, and everything was nearly ready. she had just been into the bedroom to put on her black dress. she glanced down the road to the church, but there were still no carriages to be seen. so she went once again into the kitchen to taste the food. she was quite satisfied, for everything was as it ought to be, and one cannot help being glad for that, even if one is in mourning. there was only one maid in the kitchen, and that was the one the pastor's wife had brought with her from her old home, so she felt she could speak to her in confidence. 'i must confess, lisa,' she said, 'i think anyone would be pleased with having such a funeral.' 'if she could only look down and see all the fuss you make of her,' lisa said, 'she would be pleased.' 'ah!' said the pastor's wife, 'i don't think she would ever be pleased with me.' 'she is dead now,' said the girl, 'and i am not the one to say anything against one who is hardly yet under the ground.' 'i have had to bear many a hard word from my husband for her sake,' said the mistress. the pastor's wife felt she wanted to speak with someone about the dead girl. her conscience had pricked her a little on her account, and this was why she had arranged such a grand funeral feast. she thought her conscience might leave her alone now she had had so much trouble over the funeral, but it did not do so by any means. her husband also reproached himself, and said that the young girl had not been treated like one of their own children, and that they had promised she should be when they adopted her; and he said it would have been better if they had never taken her, when they could not help letting her see that they loved their own children more. and now the pastor's wife felt she must talk to someone about the young girl, to hear whether people thought she had treated her badly. she saw that lisa began to stir the pan violently, as if she had difficulty in controlling her anger. she was a clever girl, who thoroughly understood how to get into her mistress's good books. 'i must say,' lisa began, 'that when one has a mother who always looks after one, and takes care that one is neat and clean, one might at least try to obey and please her. and when one is allowed to live in a good parsonage, and to be educated respectably, one ought at least to give some return for it, and not always go idling about and dreaming. i should like to know what would have happened if you had not taken the poor thing in. i suppose she would have been running about with those acrobats, and have died in the streets, like any other poor wretch.' a man from dalarne came across the yard; he had his pack on his back, although it was sunday. he came very quietly through the open kitchen-door, and curtsied when he entered, but no one took any notice of him. both the mistress and the maid saw him, but as they knew him, they did not think it necessary to interrupt their conversation. the pastor's wife was anxious to continue it; she felt she was about to hear what she needed to ease her conscience. 'it is perhaps as well she is gone,' she said. 'yes, ma'am,' the servant said eagerly; 'and i am sure the pastor thinks just the same. in any case he soon will. and the mistress will see that now there will be more peace in the house, and i am sure the master needs it.' 'oh!' said the pastor's wife, 'i was obliged to be careful. there were always so many clothes to be got for her, that it was quite dreadful. he was so afraid that she should not get as much as the others that she sometimes even had more. and it cost so much, now that she was grown up.' 'i suppose, ma'am, greta will get her muslin dress?' 'yes; either greta will have it, or i shall use it myself.' 'she does not leave much behind her, poor thing!' 'no one expects her to leave anything,' said her adopted mother. 'i should be quite content if i could remember ever having had a kind word from her.' this is only the kind of thing one says when one has a bad conscience, and wants to excuse one's self. her adopted mother did not really mean what she said. the dalar man behaved exactly as he always did when he came to sell his wares. he stood for a little while looking round the kitchen; then he slowly pushed the pack on to a table, and unfastened the braces and the straps; then he looked round to see if there were any cats or dogs about. he then straightened his back, and began to unfasten the two leather flaps, which were fastened with numerous buckles and knots. 'he need not trouble about opening his pack to-day,' lisa said; 'it is sunday, and he knows quite well we don't buy anything on sundays.' she, however, took no notice of the crazy fellow, who continued to unfasten his straps. she turned round to her mistress. this was a good opportunity for insinuating herself. 'i don't even know whether she was good to the children. i have often heard them cry in the nursery.' 'i suppose it was the same with them as it was with their mother,' said the pastor's wife; 'but now, of course, they cry because she is dead.' 'they don't understand what is best for them,' said the servant; 'but the mistress can be certain that before a month is gone there will be no one to cry over her.' at the same moment they both turned round from the kitchen range, and looked towards the table, where the dalar man stood opening his big pack. they had heard a strange noise, something like a sigh or a sob. the man was just opening the inside lid, and out of the pack rose the newly-buried girl, exactly the same as when they laid her in the coffin. and yet she did not look quite the same. she looked almost more dead now than when she was laid in her coffin. then she had nearly the same colour as when she was alive; now her face was ashy-gray, there was a bluish-black shadow round her mouth, and her eyes lay deep in her head. she said nothing, but her face expressed the greatest despair, and she held out beseechingly, and as if to avert their anger, the bouquet of myrtle which she had received from her adopted mother. this sight was more than flesh and blood could stand. her mother fell fainting to the ground; the maid stood still for a moment, gazing at the mother and daughter, covered her eyes with her hands, and rushed into her own room and locked the door. 'it is not me she has come for; this does not concern me.' but ingrid turned round to the dalar man. 'put me in your pack again, and take me away. do you hear? take me away. take me back to where you found me.' the dalar man happened to look through the window. a long row of carts and carriages was coming up the avenue and into the yard. ah, indeed! then he was not going to stay. he did not like that at all. ingrid crouched down at the bottom of the pack. she said not another word, but only sobbed. the flaps and the lids were fastened, and she was again lifted on to his back and carried away. those who were coming to the funeral feast laughed at the goat, who hastened away, curtsying and curtsying to every horse he met. v anna stina was an old woman who lived in the depths of the forest. she gave a helping hand at the parsonage now and then, and always managed opportunely to come down the hillside when they were baking or washing. she was a nice, clever old woman, and she and ingrid were good friends. as soon as the young girl was able to collect her thoughts, she made up her mind to take refuge with her. 'listen,' she said to the dalar man. 'when you get onto the highroad, turn into the forest; then go straight on until you come to a gate; there you must turn to the left; then you must go straight on until you come to the large gravel-pit. from there you can see a house: take me there, and i will play to you.' the short and harsh manner in which she gave her orders jarred upon her ears, but she was obliged to speak in this way in order to be obeyed; it was the only chance she had. what right had she to order another person about--she who had not even the right to be alive? after all this she would never again be able to feel as if she had any right to live. this was the most dreadful part of all that had happened to her: that she could have lived in the parsonage for six years, and not even been able to make herself so much loved that they wished to keep her alive. and those whom no one loves have no right to live. she could not exactly say how she knew it was so, but it was as clear as daylight. she knew it from the feeling that the same moment she heard that they did not care about her an iron hand seemed to have crushed her heart as if to make it stop. yes, it was life itself that had been closed for her. and the same moment she had come back from death, and felt the delight of being alive burn brightly and strongly within her, just at that moment the one thing that gave her the right of existing had been torn from her. this was worse than sentence of death. it was much more cruel than an ordinary sentence of death. she knew what it was like. it was like felling a tree--not in the usual manner, when the trunk is cut through, but by cutting its roots and leaving it standing in the ground to die by itself. there the tree stands, and cannot understand why it no longer gets nourishment and support. it struggles and strives to live, but the leaves get smaller and smaller, it sends forth no fresh shoots, the bark falls off, and it must die, because it is severed from the spring of life. thus it is it must die. at last the dalar man put down his pack on the stone step outside a little house in the midst of the wild forest. the door was locked, but as soon as ingrid had got out of the pack she took the key from under the doorstep, opened the door, and walked in. ingrid knew the house thoroughly and all it contained. it was not the first time she had come there for comfort; it was not the first time she had come and told old anna stina that she could not bear living at home any longer--that her adopted mother was so hard to her that she would not go back to the parsonage. but every time she came the old woman had talked her over and quieted her. she had made her some terrible coffee from roasted peas and chicory, without a single coffee-bean in it, but which had all the same given her new courage, and in the end she had made her laugh at everything, and encouraged her so much, that she had simply danced down the hillside on her way home. even if anna stina had been at home, and had made some of her terrible coffee, it would probably not have helped ingrid this time. but the old woman was down at the parsonage to the funeral feast, for the pastor's wife had not forgotten to invite any of those of whom ingrid had been fond. that, too, was probably the result of an uneasy conscience. but in anna's room everything was as usual. and when ingrid saw the sofa with the wooden seat, and the clean, scoured table, and the cat, and the coffee-kettle, although she did not feel comforted or cheered, she felt that here was a place where she could give vent to her sorrow. it was a relief that here she need not think of anything but crying and moaning. she went straight to the settle, threw herself on the wooden seat, and lay there crying, she did not know for how long. the dalar man sat outside on the stone step; he did not want to go into the house on account of the cat. he expected that ingrid would come out and play to him. he had taken the violin out long ago. as it was such a long time before she came, he began to play himself. he played softly and gently, as was his wont. it was barely possible for the young girl to hear him playing. ingrid had one fit of shivering after the other. this was how she had been before she fell ill. she would no doubt be ill again. it was also best that the fever should come and put an end to her in earnest. when she heard the violin, she rose and looked round with bewildered glance. who was that playing? was that her student? had he come at last? it soon struck her, however, that it was the dalar man, and she lay down again with a sigh. she could not follow what he was playing. but as soon as she closed her eyes the violin assumed the student's voice. she also heard what he said; he spoke with her adopted mother and defended her. he spoke just as nicely as he had done to mr. and mrs. blomgren. ingrid needed love so much, he said. that was what she had missed. that was why she had not always attended to her work, but allowed dreams to fill her mind. but no one knew how she could work and slave for those who loved her. for their sake she could bear sorrow and sickness, and contempt and poverty; for them she would be as strong as a giant, and as patient as a slave. ingrid heard him distinctly and she became quiet. yes, it was true. if only her adopted mother had loved her, she would have seen what ingrid was worth. but as she did not love her, ingrid was paralyzed in her efforts. yes, so it had been. now the fever had left her, she only lay and listened to what the student said. she slept a little now and then; time after time she thought she was lying in her grave, and then it was always the student who came and took her out of the coffin. she lay and disputed with him. 'when i am dreaming it is you who come,' she said. 'it is always i who come to you, ingrid,' he said. 'i thought you knew that. i take you out of the grave; i carry you on my shoulders; i play you to sleep. it is always i.' what disturbed and awoke her was the thought that she had to get up and play for the dalar man. several times she rose up to do it, but could not. as soon as she fell back upon the settle she began to dream. she sat crouching in the pack and the student carried her through the forest. it was always he. 'but it was not you,' she said to him. 'of course it was i,' he said, smiling at her contradicting him. 'you have been thinking about me every day for all these years; so you can understand i could not help saving you when you were in such great danger.' of course she saw the force of his argument; and then she began to realize that he was right, and that it was he. but this was such infinite bliss that she again awoke. love seemed to fill her whole being. it could not have been more real had she seen and spoken with her beloved. 'why does he never come in real life?' she said, half aloud. 'why does he only come in my dreams?' she did not dare to move, for then love would fly away. it was as if a timid bird had settled on her shoulder, and she was afraid of frightening it away. if she moved, the bird would fly away, and sorrow would overcome her. when at last she really awoke, it was twilight. she must have slept the whole afternoon and evening. at that time of the year it was not dark until after ten o'clock. the violin had ceased playing, and the dalar man had probably gone away. anna stina had not yet come back. she would probably be away the whole night. it did not matter to ingrid; all she wanted was to lie down again and sleep. she was afraid of all the sorrow and despair that would overwhelm her as soon as she awoke. but then she got something new to think about. who could have closed the door? who had spread anna stina's great shawl over her? and who had placed a piece of dry bread beside her on the seat? had he, the goat, done all this for her? for a moment she thought she saw dream and reality standing side by side, trying which could best console her. and the dream stood joyous and smiling, showering over her all the bliss of love to comfort her. but life, poor, hard, and bitter though it was, also brought its kindly little mite to show that it did not mean to be so hard upon her as perhaps she thought. vi ingrid and anna stina were walking through the dark forest. they had been walking for four days, and had slept three nights in the säter huts. ingrid was weak and weary; her face was transparently pale; her eyes were sunken, and shone feverishly. old anna stina now and then secretly cast an anxious look at her, and prayed to god that he would sustain her so that she might not die by the wayside. now and then the old woman could not help looking behind her with uneasiness. she had an uncomfortable feeling that the old man with his scythe came stealthily after them through the forest to reclaim the young girl who, both by the word of god and the casting of earth upon her, had been consecrated to him. old anna stina was little and broad, with a large, square face, which was so intelligent that it was almost good-looking. she was not superstitious--she lived quite alone in the midst of the forest without being afraid either of witches or evil spirits--but as she walked there by the side of ingrid she felt as distinctly as if someone had told her that she was walking beside a being who did not belong to this world. she had had that sensation ever since she had found ingrid lying in her house that monday morning. anna stina had not returned home on the sunday evening, for down at the parsonage the pastor's wife had been taken very ill, and anna stina, who was accustomed to nurse sick people, had stayed to sit up with her. the whole night she had heard the pastor's wife raving about ingrid's having appeared to her; but that the old woman had not believed. and when she returned home the next day and found ingrid, the old woman would at once have gone down to the parsonage again to tell them that it was not a ghost they had seen; but when she had suggested this to ingrid, it had affected her so much that she dared not do it. it was as if the little life which burnt in her would be extinguished, just as the flame of a candle is put out by too strong a draught. she could have died as easily as a little bird in its cage. death was prowling around her. there was nothing to be done but to nurse her very tenderly and deal very gently with her if her life was to be preserved. the old woman hardly knew what to think of ingrid. perhaps she was a ghost; there seemed to be so little life in her. she quite gave up trying to talk her to reason. there was nothing else for it but giving in to her wishes that no one should hear anything about her being alive. and then the old woman tried to arrange everything as wisely as possible. she had a sister who was housekeeper on a large estate in dalarne, and she made up her mind to take ingrid to her, and persuade her sister, stafva, to give the girl a situation at the manor house. ingrid would have to be content with being simply a servant. there was nothing else for it. they were now on their way to the manor house. anna stina knew the country so well that they were not obliged to go by the highroad, but could follow the lonely forest paths. but they had also undergone much hardship. their shoes were worn and in pieces, their skirts soiled and frayed at the bottom, and a branch had torn a long rent in ingrid's sleeve. on the evening of the fourth day they came to a hill from which they could look down into a deep valley. in the valley was a lake, and near the edge of the lake was a high, rocky island, upon which stood a large white building. when anna stina saw the house, she said it was called munkhyttan, and that it was there her sister lived. they made themselves as tidy as they could on the hillside. they arranged the handkerchiefs which they wore on their heads, dried their shoes with moss, and washed themselves in a forest stream, and anna stina tried to make a fold in ingrid's sleeve so that the rent could not be seen. the old woman sighed when she looked at ingrid, and quite lost courage. it was not only that she looked so strange in the clothes she had borrowed from anna stina, and which did not at all fit her, but her sister stafva would never take her into her service, she looked so wretched and pitiful. it was like engaging a breath of wind. the girl could be of no more use than a sick butterfly. as soon as they were ready, they went down the hill to the lake. it was only a short distance. then they came to the land belonging to the manor house. was that a country house? there were large neglected fields, upon which the forest encroached more and more. there was a bridge leading on to the island, so shaky that they hardly thought it would keep together until they were safely over. there was an avenue leading from the bridge to the main building, covered with grass, like a meadow, and a tree which had been blown down had been left lying across the road. the island was pretty enough, so pretty that a castle might very well have been built there. but nothing but weeds grew in the garden, and in the large park the trees were choking each other, and black snakes glided over the green, wet walks. anna stina felt uneasy when she saw how neglected everything was, and went along mumbling to herself: 'what does all this mean? is stafva dead? how can she stand everything looking like this? things were very different thirty years ago, when i was last here. what in the world can be the matter with stafva?' she could not imagine that there could be such neglect in any place where stafva lived. ingrid walked behind her, slowly and reluctantly. the moment she put her foot on the bridge she felt that there were not two walking there, but three. someone had come to meet her there, and had turned back to accompany her. ingrid heard no footsteps, but he who accompanied them appeared indistinctly by her side. she could see there was someone. she became terribly afraid. she was just going to beg anna stina to turn back and tell her that everything seemed so strange here that she dare not go any further. but before she had time to say anything, the stranger came quite close to her, and she recognised him. before, she only saw him indistinctly; now she saw him so clearly that she could see it was the student. it no longer seemed weird and ghost-like that he walked there. it was only strangely delightful that he came to receive her. it was as if it were he who had brought her there, and would, by coming to welcome her, show that it was. he walked with her over the bridge, through the avenue, quite up to the main building. she could not help turning her head every moment to the left. it was there she saw his face, quite close to her cheek. it was really not a face that she saw, only an unspeakably beautiful smile that drew tenderly near her. but if she turned her head quite round to see it properly, it was no longer there. no, there was nothing one could see distinctly. but as soon as she looked straight before her, it was there again, quite close to her. her invisible companion did not speak to her, he only smiled. but that was enough for her. it was more than enough to show her that there was one in the world who kept near her with tender love. she felt his presence as something so real, that she firmly believed he protected her and watched over her. and before this happy consciousness vanished all the despair which her adopted mother's hard words had called forth. ingrid felt herself again given back to life. she had the right to live, as there was one who loved her. and this was why she entered the kitchen at munkhyttan with a faint blush on her cheeks, and with radiant eyes, fragile, weak, and transparent, but sweet as a newly-opened rose. she still went about as if in a dream, and did not know much about where she was; but what surprised her so much that it nearly awakened her was to see a new anna stina standing by the fireplace. she stood there, little and broad, with a large, square face, exactly like the other. but why was she so fine, with a white cap with strings tied in a large bow under her chin, and with a black bombazine dress? ingrid's head was so confused, that it was some time before it occurred to her that this must be miss stafva. she felt that anna stina looked uneasily at her, and she tried to pull herself together and say 'good-day.' but the only thing her mind could grasp was the thought that he had come to her. inside the kitchen there was a small room, with blue-checked covering on the furniture. they were taken into that room, and miss stafva gave them coffee and something to eat. anna stina at once began to talk about their errand. she spoke for a long time; said that she knew her sister stood so high in her ladyship's favour that she left it to her to engage the servants. miss stafva said nothing, but she gave a look at ingrid as much as to say that it would hardly have been left with her if she had chosen servants like her. anna stina praised ingrid, and said she was a good girl. she had hitherto served in a parsonage, but now that she was grown up she wanted really to learn something, and that was why anna stina had brought her to one who could teach her more than any other person she knew. miss stafva did not reply to this remark either. but her glance plainly showed that she was surprised that anyone who had had a situation in a parsonage had no clothes of her own, but was obliged to borrow old anna stina's. then old anna stina began to tell how she lived quite alone in the forest, deserted by all her relatives. and this young girl had come running up the hill many an evening and many an early morning to see her. she had therefore thought and hoped that she could now help her to get a good situation. miss stafva said it was a pity that they had gone such a long way to find a place. if she were a clever girl, she could surely get a situation in some good family in their own neighbourhood. anna stina could now clearly see that ingrid's prospects were not good, and therefore she began in a more solemn vein: 'here you have lived, stafva, and had a good, comfortable home all your life, and i have had to fight my way in great poverty. but i have never asked you for anything before to-day. and now you will send me away like a beggar, to whom one gives a meal and nothing more.' miss stafva smiled a little; then she said: 'sister anna stina, you are not telling me the truth. i, too, come from raglanda, and i should like to know at what peasant's house in that parish grow such eyes and such a face.' and she pointed at ingrid, and continued: 'i can quite understand, anna stina, that you would like to help one who looks like that. but i do not understand how you can think that your sister stafva has not more sense than to believe the stories you choose to tell her.' anna stina was so frightened that she could not say a word, but ingrid made up her mind to confide in miss stafva, and began at once to tell her whole story in her soft, beautiful voice. and ingrid had hardly told of how she had been lying in the grave, and that a dalar man had come and saved her, before old miss stafva grew red and quickly bent down to hide it. it was only a second, but there must have been some cause for it, for from that moment she looked so kind. she soon began to ask full particulars about it; more especially she wanted to know about the crazy man, whether ingrid had not been afraid of him. oh no, he did no harm. he was not mad, ingrid said; he could both buy and sell. he was only frightened of some things. ingrid thought the hardest of all was to tell what she had heard her adopted mother say. but she told everything, although there were tears in her voice. then miss stafva went up to her, drew back the handkerchief from her head, and looked into her eyes. then she patted her lightly on the cheek. 'never mind that, little miss,' she said. 'there is no need for me to know about that. now sister and miss ingrid must excuse me,' she said soon after, 'but i must take up her ladyship's coffee. i shall soon be down again, and you can tell me more.' when she returned, she said she had told her ladyship about the young girl who had lain in the grave, and now her mistress wanted to see her. they were taken upstairs, and shown into her ladyship's boudoir. anna stina remained standing at the door of the fine room. but ingrid was not shy; she went straight up to the old lady and put out her hand. she had often been shy with others who looked much less aristocratic; but here, in this house, she did not feel embarrassed. she only felt so wonderfully happy that she had come there. 'so it is you, my child, who have been buried,' said her ladyship, nodding friendlily to her. 'do you mind telling me your story, my child? i sit here quite alone, and never hear anything, you know.' then ingrid began again to tell her story. but she had not got very far before she was interrupted. her ladyship did exactly the same as miss stafva had done. she rose, pushed the handkerchief back from ingrid's forehead and looked into her eyes. 'yes,' her ladyship said to herself, 'that i can understand. i can understand that he must obey those eyes.' for the first time in her life ingrid was praised for her courage. her ladyship thought she had been very brave to place herself in the hands of a crazy fellow. she _was_ afraid, she said, but she was still more afraid of people seeing her in that state. and he did no harm; he was almost quite right, and then he was so good. her ladyship wanted to know his name, but ingrid did not know it. she had never heard of any other name but the goat. her ladyship asked several times how he managed when he came to do business. had she not laughed at him, and did she not think that he looked terrible--the goat? it sounded so strange when her ladyship said 'the goat.' there was so much bitterness in her voice when she said it, and yet she said it over and over again. no; ingrid did not think so, and she never laughed at unfortunate people. the old lady looked more gentle than her words sounded. 'it appears you know how to manage mad people, my child,' she said. 'that is a great gift. most people are afraid of such poor creatures.' she listened to all ingrid had to say, and sat meditating. 'as you have not any home, my child,' she said, 'will you not stay here with me? you see, i am an old woman living here by myself, and you can keep me company, and i shall take care that you have everything you want. what do you say to it, my child? there will come a time, i suppose,' continued her ladyship, 'when we shall have to inform your parents that you are still living; but for the present everything shall remain as it is, so that you can have time to rest both body and mind. and you shall call me "aunt"; but what shall i call you?' 'ingrid--ingrid berg.' 'ingrid,' said her ladyship thoughtfully. 'i would rather have called you something else. as soon as you entered the room with those star-like eyes, i thought you ought to be called mignon.' when it dawned upon the young girl that here she would really find a home, she felt more sure than ever that she had been brought here in some supernatural manner, and she whispered her thanks to her invisible protector before she thanked her ladyship, miss stafva, and anna stina. * * * * * ingrid slept in a four-poster, on luxurious featherbeds three feet high, and had hem-stitched sheets, and silken quilts embroidered with swedish crowns and french lilies. the bed was so broad that she could lie as she liked either way, and so high that she must mount two steps to get into it. at the top sat a cupid holding the brightly-coloured hangings, and on the posts sat other cupids, which held them up in festoons. in the same room where the bed stood was an old curved chest of drawers inlaid with olive-wood, and from it ingrid might take as much sweetly-scented linen as she liked. there was also a wardrobe containing many gay and pretty silk and muslin gowns that only hung there and waited until it pleased her to put them on. when she awoke in the morning there stood by her bedside a tray with a silver coffee-set and old indian china. and every morning she set her small white teeth in fine white bread and delicious almond-cakes; every day she was dressed in a fine muslin gown with a lace fichu. her hair was dressed high at the back, but round her forehead there was a row of little light curls. on the wall between the windows hung a mirror, with a narrow glass in a broad frame, where she could see herself, and nod to her picture, and ask: 'is it you? is it really you? how have you come here?' in the daytime, when ingrid had left the chamber with the four-poster, she sat in the drawing-room and embroidered or painted on silk, and when she was tired of that, she played a little on the guitar and sang, or talked with the old lady, who taught her french, and amused herself by training her to be a fine lady. but she had come to an enchanted castle--she could not get away from that idea. she had had that feeling the first moment, and it was always coming back again. no one arrived at the house, no one left it. in this big house only two or three rooms were kept in order; in the others no one ever went. no one walked in the garden, no one looked after it. there was only one man-servant, and an old man who cut the firewood. and miss stafva had only two servants, who helped her in the kitchen and in the dairy. but there was always dainty food on the table, and her ladyship and ingrid were always waited upon and dressed like fine ladies of rank. if nothing thrived on the old estate, there was, at any rate, fertile soil for dreams, and even if they did not nurse and cultivate flowers there, ingrid was not the one to neglect her dream-roses. they grew up around her whenever she was alone. it seemed to her then as if red dream-roses formed a canopy over her. round the island where the trees bent low over the water, and sent long branches in between the reeds, and where shrubs and lofty trees grew luxuriantly, was a pathway where ingrid often walked. it looked so strange to see so many letters carved on the trees, to see the old seats and summer-houses; to see the old tumble-down pavilions, which were so worm-eaten that she dared not go into them; to think that real people had walked here, that here they had lived, and longed, and loved, and that this had not always been an enchanted castle. down here she felt even more the witchery of the place. here the face with the smile came to her. here she could thank him, the student, because he had brought her to a home where she was so happy, where they loved her, and made her forget how hardly others had treated her. if it had not been he who had arranged all this for her, she could not possibly have been allowed to remain here; it was quite impossible. she knew that it must be he. she had never before had such wild fancies. she had always been thinking of him, but she had never felt that he was so near her that he took care of her. the only thing she longed for was that he himself should come, for of course he would come some day. it was impossible that he should not come. in these avenues he had left behind part of his soul. * * * * * summer went, and autumn; christmas was drawing near. 'miss ingrid,' said the old housekeeper one day, in a rather mysterious manner, 'i think i ought to tell you that the young master who owns munkhyttan is coming home for christmas. in any case, he generally comes,' she added, with a sigh. 'and her ladyship, who has never even mentioned that she has a son,' said ingrid. but she was not really surprised. she might just as well have answered that she had known it all along. 'no one has spoken to you about him, miss ingrid,' said the housekeeper, 'for her ladyship has forbidden us to speak about him.' and then miss stafva would not say any more. neither did ingrid want to ask any more. now she was afraid of hearing something definite. she had raised her expectations so high that she was herself afraid they would fail. the truth might be well worth hearing, but it might also be bitter, and destroy all her beautiful dreams. but from that day he was with her night and day. she had hardly time to speak to others. she must always be with him. one day she saw that they had cleared the snow away from the avenue. she grew almost frightened. was he coming now? the next day her ladyship sat from early morning in the window looking down the avenue. ingrid had gone further into the room. she was so restless that she could not remain at the window. 'do you know whom i am expecting to-day, ingrid?' the young girl nodded; she dared not depend upon her voice to answer. 'has miss stafva told you that my son is peculiar?' ingrid shook her head. 'he is very peculiar--he--i cannot speak about it. i cannot--you must see for yourself.' it sounded heartrending. ingrid grew very uneasy. what was there with this house that made everything so strange? was it something terrible that she did not know about? was her ladyship not on good terms with her son? what was it, what was it? the one moment in an ecstasy of joy, the next in a fever of uncertainty, she was obliged to call forth the long row of visions in order again to feel that it must be he who came. she could not at all say why she so firmly believed that he must be the son just of this house. he might, for the matter of that, be quite another person. oh, how hard it was that she had never heard his name! it was a long day. they sat waiting in silence until evening came. the man came driving a cartload of christmas logs, and the horse remained in the yard whilst the wood was unloaded. 'ingrid,' said her ladyship in a commanding and hasty tone, 'run down to anders and tell him that he must be quick and get the horse into the stable. quick--quick!' ingrid ran down the stairs and on to the veranda; but when she came out she forgot to call to the man. just behind the cart she saw a tall man in a sheepskin coat, and with a large pack on his back. it was not necessary for her to see him standing curtsying and curtsying to recognise him. but, but----she put her hand to her head and drew a deep breath. how would all these things ever become clear to her? was it for that fellow's sake her ladyship had sent her down? and the man, why did he pull the horse away in such great haste? and why did he take off his cap and salute? what had that crazy man to do with the people of this house? all at once the truth flashed upon ingrid so crushingly and overwhelmingly that she could have screamed. it was not her beloved who had watched over her; it was this crazy man. she had been allowed to remain here because she had spoken kindly of him, because his mother wanted to carry on the good work which he had commenced. the goat--that was the young master. but to her no one came. no one had brought her here; no one had expected her. it was all dreams, fancies, illusions! oh, how hard it was! if she had only never expected him! but at night, when ingrid lay in the big bed with the brightly-coloured hangings, she dreamt over and over again that she saw the student come home. 'it was not you who came,' she said. 'yes, of course it was i,' he replied. and in her dreams she believed him. * * * * * one day, the week after christmas, ingrid sat at the window in the boudoir embroidering. her ladyship sat on the sofa knitting, as she always did now. there was silence in the room. young hede had been at home for a week. during all that time ingrid had never seen him. in his home, too, he lived like a peasant, slept in the men-servants' quarters, and had his meals in the kitchen. he never went to see his mother. ingrid knew that both her ladyship and miss stafva expected that she should do something for hede, that at the least she would try and persuade him to remain at home. and it grieved her that it was impossible for her to do what they wished. she was in despair about herself and about the utter weakness that had come over her since her expectations had been so shattered. to-day miss stafva had just come in to say that hede was getting his pack ready to start. he was not even staying as long as he generally did at christmas, she said with a reproachful look at ingrid. ingrid understood all they had expected from her, but she could do nothing. she sewed and sewed without saying anything. miss stafva went away, and there was again silence in the room. ingrid quite forgot that she was not alone; a feeling of drowsiness suddenly came over her, whilst all her sad thoughts wove themselves into a strange fancy. she thought she was walking up and down the whole of the large house. she went through a number of rooms and salons; she saw them before her with gray covers over the furniture. the paintings and the chandeliers were covered with gauze, and on the floors was a layer of thick dust, which whirled about when she went through the rooms. but at last she came to a room where she had never been before; it was quite a small chamber, where both walls and ceiling were black. but when she came to look more closely at them, she saw that the chamber was neither painted black, nor covered with black material, but it was so dark on account of the walls and the ceiling being completely covered with bats. the whole room was nothing but a huge nest for bats. in one of the windows a pane was broken, so one could understand how the bats had got in in such incredible numbers that they covered the whole room. they hung there in their undisturbed winter sleep; not one moved when she entered. but she was seized by such terror at this sight that she began to shiver and shake all over. it was dreadful to see the quantity of bats she so distinctly saw hanging there. they all had black wings wrapped around them like cloaks; they all hung from the walls by a single long claw in undisturbable sleep. she saw it all so distinctly that she wondered if miss stafva knew that the bats had taken possession of a whole room. in her thoughts she then went to miss stafva and asked her whether she had been into that room and seen all the bats. 'of course i have seen them,' said miss stafva. 'it is their own room. i suppose you know, miss ingrid, that there is not a single old country house in all sweden where they have not to give up a room to the bats?' 'i have never heard that before,' ingrid said. 'when you have lived as long in the world as i have, miss ingrid, you will find out that i am speaking the truth,' said miss stafva. 'i cannot understand that people will put up with such a thing,' ingrid said. 'we are obliged to,' said miss stafva. 'those bats are mistress sorrow's birds, and she has commanded us to receive them.' ingrid saw that miss stafva did not wish to say anything more about that matter, and she began to sew again; but she could not help speculating over who that mistress sorrow could be who had so much power here that she could compel miss stafva to give up a whole room to the bats. just as she was thinking about all this, she saw a black sledge, drawn by black horses, pull up outside the veranda. she saw miss stafva come out and make a low curtsy. an old lady in a long black velvet cloak, with many small capes on the shoulders, alighted from the sledge. she was bent, and had difficulty in walking. she could hardly lift her feet sufficiently to walk up the steps. 'ingrid,' said her ladyship, looking up from her knitting, 'i think i heard mistress sorrow arrive. it must have been her jingle i heard. have you noticed that she never has sledge-bells on her horses, but only quite a small jingle? but one can hear it--one can hear it! go down into the hall, ingrid, and bid mistress sorrow welcome.' when ingrid came down into the front hall, mistress sorrow stood talking with miss stafva on the veranda. they did not notice her. ingrid saw with surprise that the round-backed old lady had something hidden under all her capes which looked like crape; it was put well up and carefully hidden. ingrid had to look very closely before she discovered that they were two large bat's wings which she tried to hide. the young girl grew still more curious and tried to see her face, but she stood and looked into the yard, so it was impossible. so much, however, ingrid did see when she put out her hand to the housekeeper--that one of her fingers was much longer than the others, and at the end of it was a large, crooked claw. 'i suppose everything is as usual here?' she said. 'yes, honoured mistress sorrow,' said miss stafva. 'you have not planted any flowers, nor pruned any trees? you have not mended the bridge, nor weeded the avenue?' 'no, honoured mistress.' 'this is quite as it should be,' said the honoured mistress. 'i suppose you have not had the audacity to search for the vein of ore, or to cut down the forest which is encroaching on the fields?' 'no, honoured mistress.' 'or to clean the wells?' 'no, nor to clean the wells.' 'this is a nice place,' said mistress sorrow; 'i always like being here. in a few years things will be in such a state that my birds can live all over the house. you are really very good to my birds, miss stafva.' at this praise the housekeeper made a deep curtsy. 'how are things otherwise at the house?' said mistress sorrow. 'what sort of a christmas have you had?' 'we have kept christmas as we always do,' said miss stafva. 'her ladyship sits knitting in her room day after day, thinks of nothing but her son, and does not even know that it is a festival. christmas eve we allowed to pass like any other day--no presents and no candles.' 'no christmas tree, no christmas fare?' 'nor any going to church; not so much as a candle in the windows on christmas morning.' 'why should her ladyship honour god's son when god will not heal her son?' said mistress sorrow. 'no, why should she?' 'he is at home at present, i suppose? perhaps he is better now?' 'no, he is no better. he is as much afraid of things as ever.' 'does he still behave like a peasant? does he never go into the rooms?' 'we cannot get him to go into the rooms; he is afraid of her ladyship, as the honoured mistress knows.' 'he has his meals in the kitchen, and sleeps in the men-servants' room?' 'yes, he does.' 'and you have no idea how to cure him?' 'we know nothing, we understand nothing.' mistress sorrow was silent for a moment; when she spoke again there was a hard, sharp ring in her voice: 'this is all right as far as it goes, miss stafva; but i am not quite satisfied with you, all the same.' the same moment she turned round and looked sharply at ingrid. ingrid shuddered. mistress sorrow had a little, wrinkled face, the under part of which was so doubled up that one could hardly see the lower jaw. she had teeth like a saw, and thick hair on the upper lip. her eyebrows were one single tuft of hair, and her skin was quite brown. ingrid thought miss stafva could not see what she saw: mistress sorrow was not a human being; she was only an animal. mistress sorrow opened her mouth and showed her glittering teeth when she looked at ingrid. 'when this girl came here,' she said to miss stafva, 'you thought she had been sent by god. you thought you could see from her eyes that she had been sent by our lord to save him. she knew how to manage mad people. well, how has it worked?' 'it has not worked at all. she has not done anything.' 'no, i have seen to that,' said mistress sorrow. 'it was my doing that you did not tell her why she was allowed to stay here. had she known that, she would not have indulged in such rosy dreams about seeing her beloved. if she had not had such expectations, she would not have had such a bitter disappointment. had disappointment not paralyzed her, she could perhaps have done something for this mad fellow. but now she has not even been to see him. she hates him because he is not the one she expected him to be. that is my doing, miss stafva, my doing.' 'yes; the honoured mistress knows her business,' said miss stafva. mistress sorrow took her lace handkerchief and dried her red-rimmed eyes. it looked as if it were meant for an expression of joy. 'you need not make yourself out to be any better than you are, miss stafva,' she said. 'i know you do not like my having taken that room for my birds. you do not like the thought of my having the whole house soon. i know that. you and your mistress had intended to cheat me. but it is all over now.' 'yes,' said miss stafva, 'the honoured mistress can be quite easy. it is all over. the young master is leaving to-day. he has packed up his pack, and then we always know he is about to leave. everything her ladyship and i have been dreaming about the whole autumn is over. nothing has been done. we thought she might at least have persuaded him to remain at home, but in spite of all we have done for her, she has not done anything for us.' 'no, she has only been a poor help, i know that,' said mistress sorrow. 'but, all the same, she must be sent away now. that was really what i wanted to see her ladyship about.' mistress sorrow began to drag herself up the steps on her tottering legs. at every step she raised her wings a little, as if they should help her. she would, no doubt, much rather have flown. ingrid went behind her. she felt strangely attracted and fascinated. if mistress sorrow had been the most beautiful woman in the world, she could not have felt a greater inclination to follow her. when she went into the boudoir she saw mistress sorrow sitting on the sofa by the side of her ladyship, whispering confidentially with her, as if they were old friends. 'you must be able to see that you cannot keep her with you,' said mistress sorrow impressively. 'you, who cannot bear to see a flower growing in your garden, can surely not stand having a young girl about in the house. it always brings a certain amount of brightness and life, and that would not suit you.' 'no; that is just what i have been sitting and thinking about.' 'get her a situation as lady's companion somewhere or other, but don't keep her here.' she rose to say good-bye. 'that was all i wanted to see you about,' she said. 'but how are you yourself?' 'knives and scissors cut my heart all day long,' said her ladyship. 'i only live in him as long as he is at home. it is worse than usual, much worse this time. i cannot bear it much longer.' . . . ingrid started; it was her ladyship's bell that rang. she had been dreaming so vividly that she was quite surprised to see that her ladyship was alone, and that the black sledge was not waiting before the door. her ladyship had rung for miss stafva, but she did not come. she asked ingrid to go down to her room and call her. ingrid went, but the little blue-checked room was empty. the young girl was going into the kitchen to ask for the housekeeper, but before she had time to open the door she heard hede talking. she stopped outside; she could not persuade herself to go in and see him. she tried, however, to argue with herself. it was not his fault that he was not the one she had been expecting. she must try to do something for him; she must persuade him to remain at home. before, she had not had such a feeling against him. he was not so very bad. she bent down and peeped through the keyhole. it was the same here as at other places. the servants tried to lead him on in order to amuse themselves by his strange talk. they asked him whom he was going to marry. hede smiled; he liked to be asked about that kind of thing. 'she is called grave-lily--don't you know that?' he said. the servant said she did not know that she had such a fine name. 'but where does she live?' 'neither has she home nor has she farm,' hede said. 'she lives in my pack.' the servant said that was a queer home, and asked about her parents. 'neither has she father nor has she mother,' hede said. 'she is as fine as a flower; she has grown up in a garden.' he said all this with a certain amount of clearness, but when he wanted to describe how beautiful his sweetheart was he could not get on at all. he said a number of words, but they were strangely mixed together. one could not follow his thoughts, but evidently he himself derived much pleasure from what he said. he sat smiling and happy. ingrid hurried away. she could not bear it any longer. she could not do anything for him. she was afraid of him. she disliked him. but she had not got further than the stairs before her conscience pricked her. here she had received so much kindness, and she would not make any return. in order to master her dislike she tried in her own mind to think of hede as a gentleman. she wondered how he had looked when he wore good clothes, and had his hair brushed back. she closed her eyes for a moment and thought. no, it was impossible, she could not imagine him as being any different from what he was. the same moment she saw the outlines of a beloved face by her side. it appeared at her left side wonderfully distinct. this time the face did not smile. the lips trembled as if in pain, and unspeakable suffering was written in sharp lines round the mouth. ingrid stopped half-way up the stairs and looked at it. there it was, light and fleeting, as impossible to grasp and hold fast as a sun-spot reflected by the prism of a chandelier, but just as visible, just as real. she thought of her recent dream, but this was different--this was reality. when she had looked a little at the face, the lips began to move; they spoke, but she could not hear a sound. then she tried to see what they said, tried to read the words from the lips, as deaf people do, and she succeeded. 'do not let me go,' the lips said; 'do not let me go.' and the anguish with which it was said! if a fellow-creature had been lying at her feet begging for life, it could not have affected her more. she was so overcome that she shook. it was more heart-rending than anything she had ever heard in her whole life. never had she thought that anyone could beg in such fearful anguish. again and again the lips begged, 'do not let me go!' and for every time the anguish was greater. ingrid did not understand it, but remained standing, filled with unspeakable pity. it seemed to her that more than life itself must be at stake for one who begged like this, that his very soul must be at stake. the lips did not move any more; they stood half open in dull despair. when they assumed this expression she uttered a cry and stumbled. she recognised the face of the crazy fellow as she had just seen it. 'no, no, no!' she said. 'it cannot be so! it must not! it cannot! it is not possible that it is he!' the same moment the face vanished. she must have sat for a whole hour on the cold staircase, crying in helpless despair. but at last hope sprang up in her, strong and fair. she again took courage to raise her head. all that had happened seemed to show that she should save him. it was for that she had come here. she should have the great, great happiness of saving him. * * * * * in the little boudoir her ladyship was talking to miss stafva. it sounded so pitiful to hear her asking the housekeeper to persuade her son to remain a few days longer. miss stafva tried to appear hard and severe. 'of course, i can ask him,' she said; 'but your ladyship knows that no one can make him stay longer than he wants.' 'we have money enough, you know. there is not the slightest necessity for him to go. can you not tell him that?' said her ladyship. at the same moment ingrid came in. the door opened noiselessly. she glided through the room with light, airy steps; her eyes were radiant, as if she beheld something beautiful afar off. when her ladyship saw her she frowned a little. she also felt an inclination to be cruel, to give pain. 'ingrid,' she said, 'come here; i must speak with you about your future.' the young girl had fetched her guitar and was about to leave the room. she turned round to her ladyship. 'my future?' she said, putting her hand to her forehead. 'my future is already decided, you know,' she continued, with the smile of a martyr; and without saying any more she left the room. her ladyship and stafva looked in surprise at each other. they began to discuss where they should send the young girl. but when miss stafva came down to her room she found ingrid sitting there, singing some little songs and playing on the guitar, and hede sat opposite her, listening, his face all sunshine. * * * * * ever since ingrid had recognised the student in the poor crazy fellow, she had no other thought but that of trying to cure him; but this was a difficult task, and she had no idea whatever as to how she should set about it. to begin with, she only thought of how she could persuade him to remain at munkhyttan; and this was easy enough. only for the sake of hearing her play the violin or the guitar a little every day he would now sit patiently from morning till evening in miss stafva's room waiting for her. she thought it would be a great thing if she could get him to go into the other rooms, but that she could not. she tried keeping in her room, and said she would not play any more for him if he did not come to her. but after she had remained there two days, he began to pack up his pack to go away, and then she was obliged to give in. he showed great preference for her, and distinctly showed that he liked her better than others; but she did not make him less frightened. she begged him to leave off his sheepskin coat, and wear an ordinary coat. he consented at once, but the next day he had it on again. then she hid it from him; but he then appeared in the man-servant's skin coat. so then they would rather let him keep his own. he was still as frightened as ever, and took great care no one came too near him. even ingrid was not allowed to sit quite close to him. one day she said to him that now he must promise her something: he must give over curtsying to the cat. she would not ask him to do anything so difficult as give up curtsying to horses and dogs, but surely he could not be afraid of a little cat. yes, he said; the cat was a goat. 'it can't be a goat,' she said; 'it has no horns, you know.' he was pleased to hear that. it seemed as if at last he had found something by which he could distinguish a goat from other animals. the next day he met miss stafva's cat. 'that goat has no horns,' he said; and laughed quite proudly. he went past it, and sat down on the sofa to listen to ingrid playing. but after he had sat a little while he grew restless, and he rose, went up to the cat, and curtsied. ingrid was in despair. she took him by his arm and shook him. he ran straight out of the room, and did not appear until the next day. 'child, child,' said her ladyship, 'you do exactly as i did; you try the same as i did. it will end by your frightening him so that he dare not see you any more. it is better to leave him in peace. we are satisfied with things as they are if he will only remain at home.' there was nothing else for ingrid to do but wring her hands in sorrow that such a fine, lovable fellow should be concealed in this crazy man. ingrid thought again and again, had she really only come here to play her grandfather's tunes to him? should they go on like that all through life? would it never be otherwise? she also told him many stories, and in the midst of a story his face would lighten up, and he would say something wonderfully subtle and beautiful. a sane person would never have thought of anything like it. and no more was needed to make her courage rise, and then she began again with these endless experiments. * * * * * it was late one afternoon, and the moon was just about to rise. white snow lay on the ground, and bright gray ice covered the lake. the trees were blackish-brown, and the sky was a flaming red after the sunset. ingrid was on her way to the lake to skate. she went along a narrow path where the snow was quite trodden down. gunnar hede went behind her. there was something cowed in his bearing that made one think of a dog following its master. ingrid looked tired; there was no brightness in her eyes, and her complexion was gray. as she walked along she wondered whether the day, which was now so nearly over, was content with itself--if it were from joy it had lighted the great flaming red sunset far away in the west. she knew she could light no bonfire over this day, nor over any other day. in the whole month that had passed since she recognised gunnar hede she had gained nothing. and to-day a great fear had come upon her. it seemed to her as if she might perhaps lose her love over all this. she was nearly forgetting the student, only for thinking of the poor fellow. all that was bright and beautiful and youthful vanished from her love. nothing was left but dull, heavy earnest. she was quite in despair as she walked towards the lake. she felt she did not know what ought to be done--felt that she must give it all up. oh, god, to have him walking behind her apparently strong and hale, and yet so helplessly, incurably sick! they had reached the lake, and she was putting on her skates. she also wanted him to skate, and helped him to put on his skates; but he fell as soon as he got on to the ice. he scrambled to the bank and sat down on a stone, and she skated away from him. just opposite the stone upon which gunnar hede was sitting was an islet overgrown with birches and poplars, and behind it the radiant evening sky, which was still flaming red. and the fine, light, leafless tops of the trees stood against the glorious sky with such beauty that it was impossible not to notice it. is it not a fact that one always recognises a place by a single feature? one does not exactly know how even the most familiar spot looks from all sides. and munkhyttan one always knew by the little islet. if one had not seen the place for many years, one would know it again by this islet, where the dark tree-tops were lifted towards the sunset. hede sat quite still, and looked at the islet and at the branches of the trees and at the gray ice which surrounded it. this was the view he knew best of all; there was nothing on the whole estate he knew so well, for it was always this islet that attracted the eye. and soon he was sitting looking at the islet without thinking about it, just as one does with things one knows so well. he sat for a long time gazing. nothing disturbed him, not a human being, not a gust of wind, no strange object. he could not see ingrid; she had skated far away on the ice. a rest and peace fell upon gunnar hede such as one only feels in home surroundings. security and peace came to him from the little islet; it quieted the everlasting unrest that tormented him. hede always imagined he was amongst enemies, and always thought of defending himself. for many years he had not felt that peace which made it possible for him to forget himself. but now it came upon him. whilst gunnar hede was sitting thus and not thinking of anything, he happened mechanically to make a movement as one may do when one finds one's self in accustomed circumstances. as he sat there with the shining ice before him and with skates on his feet, he got up and skated on to the lake, and he thought as little of what he was doing as one thinks of how one is holding fork or spoon when eating. he glided over the ice; it was glorious skating. he was a long way off the shore before he realized what he was doing. 'splendid ice!' he thought. 'i wonder why i did not come down earlier in the day. it is a good thing i was more here yesterday,' he said. 'i will really not waste a single day during the rest of my vacation.' no doubt it was because gunnar hede happened to do something he was in the habit of doing before he was ill that his old self awakened within him. thoughts and associations connected with his former life began to force themselves upon his consciousness, and at the same time all the thoughts connected with his illness sank into oblivion. it had been his habit when skating to take a wide turn on the lake in order to see beyond a certain point. he did so now without thinking, but when he had turned the point he knew he had skated there to see if there was a light in his mother's window. 'she thinks it is time i was coming home, but she must wait a little; the ice is too good.' but it was mostly vague sensations of pleasure over the exercise and the beautiful evening that were awakened within him. a moonlight evening like this was just the time for skating; he was so fond of this peaceful transition from day to night. it was still light, but the stillness of night was already there, the best both of day and of night. there was another skater on the ice; it was a young girl. he was not sure if he knew her, but he skated towards her to find out. no; it was no one he knew, but he could not help making a remark when he passed her about the splendid ice. the stranger was probably a young girl from the town. she was evidently not accustomed to be addressed in this unceremonious manner; she looked quite frightened when he spoke to her. he certainly was queerly dressed; he was dressed quite like a peasant. well, he did not want to frighten her away. he turned off and skated further up the lake; the ice was big enough for them both. but ingrid had nearly screamed with astonishment. he had come towards her skating elegantly, with his arms crossed, the brim of his hat turned up, and his hair thrown back, so that it did not fall over his ears. he had spoken with the voice of a gentleman, almost without the slightest dalar accent. she did not stop to think about it. she skated quickly towards the shore. she came breathless into the kitchen. she did not know how to say it shortly and quickly enough. 'miss stafva, the young master has come home!' the kitchen was empty; neither the housekeeper nor the servants were there. nor was there anybody in the housekeeper's room. ingrid rushed through the whole house, went into rooms where no one ever went. the whole time she cried out, 'miss stafva, miss stafva! the young master has come home!' she was quite beside herself, and went on calling out, even when she stood on the landing upstairs, surrounded by the servants, miss stafva, and her ladyship herself. she said it over and over again. she was too much excited to stop. they all understood what she meant. they stood there quite as much overcome as she was. ingrid turned restlessly from the one to the other. she ought to give explanations and orders, but about what? that she could so lose her presence of mind! she looked wildly questioning at her ladyship. 'what was it i wanted?' the old lady gave some orders in a low, trembling voice. she almost whispered. 'light the candles and make a fire in the young master's room. lay out the young master's clothes.' it was neither the place nor the time for miss stafva to be important. but there was all the same a certain superior ring in her voice as she answered: 'there is always a fire in the young master's room. the young master's clothes are always in readiness for him.' 'ingrid had better go up to her room,' said her ladyship. the young girl did just the opposite. she went into the drawing-room, placed herself at the window, sobbed and shook, but did not herself know that she was not still. she impatiently dried the tears from her eyes, so that she could see over the snowfield in front of the house. if only she did not cry, there was nothing she could miss seeing in the clear moonlight. at last he came. 'there he is! there he is!' she cried to her ladyship. 'he walks quickly! he runs! do come and see!' her ladyship sat quite still before the fire. she did not move. she strained her ears to hear, just as much as the other strained her eyes to see. she asked ingrid to be quiet, so that she could hear how he walked. ah, yes, she would be quiet. her ladyship should hear how he walked. she grasped the window-sill, as if that could help her. 'you _shall_ be quiet,' she whispered, 'so that her ladyship can hear how he walks.' her ladyship sat bending forward, listening with all her soul. did she already hear his steps in the court-yard? she probably thought he would go towards the kitchen. did she hear that it was the front steps that creaked? did she hear that it was the door to the front hall that opened? did she hear how quickly he came up the stairs, two or three steps at a time? had his mother heard that? it was not the dragging step of a peasant, as it had been when he left the house. it was almost more than they could bear, to hear him coming towards the door of the drawing-room. had he come in then, they would no doubt both have screamed. but he turned down the corridor to his own rooms. her ladyship fell back in her chair, and her eyes closed. ingrid thought her ladyship would have liked to die at that moment. without opening her eyes, she put out her hand. ingrid went softly up and took it; the old lady drew her towards her. 'mignon, mignon,' she said; 'that was the right name after all. but,' she continued, 'we must not cry. we must not speak about it. take a stool and come and sit down by the fire. we must be calm, my little friend. let us speak about something else. we must be perfectly calm when he comes in.' half an hour afterwards hede came in; the tea was on the table, and the chandelier was lighted. he had dressed; every trace of the peasant had disappeared. ingrid and her ladyship pressed each other's hands. they had been sitting trying to imagine how he would look when he came in. it was impossible to say what he might say or do, said her ladyship. one never had known what he might do. but in any case they would both be quite calm. a feeling of great happiness had come over her, and that had quieted her. she was resting, free from all sorrow, in the arms of angels carrying her upwards, upwards. but when hede came in, there was no sign of confusion about him. 'i have only come to tell you,' he said, 'that i have got such a headache, that i shall have to go to bed at once. i felt it already when i was on the ice.' her ladyship made no reply. everything was so simple; she had never thought it would be like that. it took her a few moments to realize that he did not know anything about his illness, that he was living somewhere in the past. 'but perhaps i can first drink a cup of tea,' he said, looking a little surprised at their silence. her ladyship went to the tea-tray. he looked at her. 'have you been crying, mother? you are so quiet.' 'we have been sitting talking about a sad story, i and my young friend here,' said her ladyship, pointing to ingrid. 'i beg your pardon,' he said. 'i did not see you had visitors.' the young girl came forward towards the light, beautiful as one would be who knew that the gates of heaven the next moment would open before her. he bowed a little stiffly. he evidently did not know who she was. her ladyship introduced them to each other. he looked curiously at ingrid. 'i think i saw miss berg on the ice,' he said. he knew nothing about her--had never spoken to her before. * * * * * a short, happy time followed. gunnar hede was certainly not quite himself; but those around him were happy in the belief that he soon would be. his memory was partly gone. he knew nothing about certain periods of his life; he could not play the violin; he had almost forgotten all he knew; and his power of thinking was weak; and he preferred neither to read nor to write. but still he was very much better. he was not frightened; he was fond of his mother; he had again assumed the manners and habits of a gentleman. one can easily understand that her ladyship and all her household were delighted. hede was in the best of spirits--bright and joyous all day long. he never speculated over anything, put to one side everything he could not understand, never spoke about anything that necessitated mental exertion, but talked merrily and cheerfully. he was most happy when he was engaged in bodily exercise. he took ingrid out with him sledging and skating. he did not talk much to her, but she was happy to be with him. he was kind to ingrid, as he was to everyone else, but not in the least in love with her. he often wondered about his _fiancée_--wondered why she never wrote. but after a short time that trouble, too, left him. he always put away from him anything that worried him. ingrid thought that he would never get really well by doing like this. he must some time be made to think--to face his own thoughts, which he was afraid of doing now. but she dared not compel him to do this, and there was no one else who dared. if he began to care for her a little, perhaps she might dare. she thought all they now wanted, every one of them, was a little happiness. * * * * * it was just at that time that a little child died at the parsonage at raglanda where ingrid had been brought up; and the grave-digger was about to dig the grave. the man dug the grave quite close to the spot where the previous summer he had dug the grave for ingrid. and when he had got a few feet into the ground he happened to lay bare a corner of her coffin. the grave-digger could not help smiling a little to himself. of course he had heard that the dead girl lying in this coffin had appeared. she was supposed to have unscrewed her coffin-lid on the very day of her funeral, risen from the grave, and appeared at the parsonage. the pastor's wife was not so much liked but that people in the parish rather enjoyed telling this story about her. the grave-digger thought that people should only know how securely the dead were lying in the ground, and how fast the coffin-lids. . . . he interrupted himself in the midst of this thought. on the corner of the coffin which was exposed the lid was not quite straight, and one of the screws was not quite fast. he did not say anything, he did not think anything, but stopped digging and whistled the whole reveille of the vermland regiment--for he was an old soldier. then he thought he had better examine the thing properly. it would never do for a grave-digger to have thoughts about the dead which might come and trouble him during the dark autumn nights. he hastily removed some more earth. then he began to hammer on the coffin with his shovel. the coffin answered quite distinctly that it was empty--empty. half an hour after the grave-digger was at the parsonage. there was no end to the questionings and surmises. so much they were all agreed upon--that the young girl had been in the dalar man's pack. but what had become of her afterwards? anna stina stood at the oven in the parsonage and looked after the baking, for of course there was baking to be done for the new funeral. she stood for a long time listening to all this talk without saying a word. all she took care of was that the cakes were not burnt. she put sheet-tins in and took sheet-tins out, and it was dangerous to approach her as she stood there with the long baker's shovel. but suddenly she took off her kitchen-apron, wiped the worst of the sweat and the soot from her face, and was talking with the pastor in his study almost before she knew how it had come about. after this it was not so very wonderful that one day in march the pastor's little red-painted sledge, ornamented with green tulips, and drawn by the pastor's little red horse, pulled up at munkhyttan. ingrid was of course obliged to go back with the pastor home to her mother. the pastor had come to fetch her. he did not say much about their being glad that she was alive, but one could see how happy he was. he had never been able to forgive himself that they had not been more kind to their adopted daughter. and now he was radiant at the thought that he was allowed to make a new beginning and make everything good for her this time. they did not speak a word about the reason why she had run away. it was of no use bringing that up again so long after. but ingrid understood that the pastor's wife had had a hard time, and had suffered many pangs of conscience, and that they wanted to have her back again in order to be good to her. she felt that she was almost obliged to go back to the parsonage to show that she had no ill-feeling against her adopted parents. they all thought it was the most natural thing that she should go to the parsonage for a week or two. and why should she not? she could not make the excuse that they needed her at munkhyttan. she could surely be away for some weeks without it doing gunnar hede any harm. she felt it was hard, but it was best she should go away, as they all thought it was the right thing. perhaps she had hoped they would ask her not to go away. she took her seat in the sledge with the feeling that her ladyship or miss stafva would surely come and lift her out of it, and carry her into the house again. it was impossible to realize that she was actually driving down the avenue, that she was turning into the forest, and that munkhyttan was disappearing behind her. but supposing it was from pure goodness that they let her go? they thought, perhaps, that youth, with its craving for pleasure, wanted to get away from the loneliness of munkhyttan. they thought, perhaps, she was tired of being the keeper of a crazy man. she raised her hand, and was on the point of seizing the reins and turning the horse. now that she was several miles from the house it struck her that that was why they had let her go. she would have liked so much to have gone back and asked them. in her utter loneliness she felt as if she were groping about in the wild forest. there was not a single human being who answered her or advised her. she received just as much answer from fir and pine, and squirrel and owl, as she did from any human being. it was really a matter of utter indifference to her how they treated her at the parsonage. they were very kind to her, as far as she knew, but it really did not matter. if she had come to a palace full of everything one could most desire, that would likewise have been the same to her. no bed is soft enough to give rest unto one whose heart is full of longing. in the beginning she had asked them every day, as modestly as she could, if they would not let her go home, now that she had had the great happiness of seeing her mother and her brothers and sisters. but the roads were really too bad. she must stay with them until the frost had disappeared. it was not a matter of life and death, they supposed, to go back to that place. ingrid could not understand why it annoyed people when she said she wanted to go back to munkhyttan. but this seemed to be the case with her father and her mother and everybody else in the parish. one had no right, it appeared, to long for any other place in the world, when one was at raglanda. she soon saw it was best not to speak about her going away. there were so many difficulties in the way whenever she spoke about it. it was not enough that the roads were still in the same bad condition; they surrounded her with walls and ramparts and moats. she would knit and weave, and plant out in the forcing-frames. and surely she would not go away until after the large birthday party at the dean's? and she could not think of leaving till after karin landberg's wedding. there was nothing for her to do but to lift her hands in supplication to the spring, and beg it to make haste with its work, beg for sunshine and warmth, beg the gentle sun to do its very best for the great border forest, send small piercing rays between the fir-trees, and melt the snow beneath them. dear, dear sun! it did not matter if the snow were not melted in the valley, if only the snow would vanish from the mountains, if only the forest paths became passable, if only the säter girls were able to go to their huts, if only the bogs became dry, if only it became possible to go by the forest road, which was half the distance of the highroad. ingrid knew one who would not wait for carriage, or ask for money to drive, if only the road through the forest became passable. she knew one who would leave the parsonage some moonlight night, and who would do it without asking a single person's permission. she thought she had waited for the spring before. that everybody does. but now ingrid knew that she had never before longed for it. oh no, no! she had never before known what it was to long. before she had waited for green leaves and anemones, and the song of the thrush and the cuckoo. but that was childishness--nothing more. they did not long for the spring who only thought of what was beautiful. one should take the first bit of earth that peeped through the snow, and kiss it. one should pluck the first coarse leaf of the nettle simply to burn into one that now the spring had come. everybody was very good to her. but although they did not say anything, they seemed to think that she was always thinking of leaving them. 'i can't understand why you want to go back to that place and look after that crazy fellow,' said karin landberg one day. it seemed as if she could read ingrid's thoughts. 'oh, she has given up thinking of that now,' said the pastor's wife, before the young girl had time to answer. when karin was gone the pastor's wife said: 'people wonder that you want to leave us.' ingrid was silent. 'they say that when hede began to improve perhaps you fell in love with him.' 'oh no! not after he had begun to improve,' ingrid said, feeling almost inclined to laugh. 'in any case, he is not the sort of person one could marry,' said her adopted mother. 'father and i have been speaking about it, and we think it is best that you should remain with us.' 'it is very good of you that you want to keep me,' ingrid said. and she was touched that now they wanted to be so kind to her. they did not believe her, however obedient she was. she could not understand what little bird it was that told them about her longing. now her adopted mother had told her that she must not go back to munkhyttan. but even then she could not leave the matter alone. 'if they really wanted you,' she said, 'they would write for you.' ingrid again felt inclined to laugh. that would be the strangest thing of all, should there be a letter from the enchanted castle. she would like to know if her adopted mother thought that the king of the mountain wrote for the maiden who had been swallowed by the mountain to come back when she had gone to see her mother? but if her adopted mother had known how many messages she had received she would probably have been even more uneasy. there came messages to her in her dreams by nights, and there came messages to her in her visions by day. he let ingrid know that he was in need of her. he was so ill--so ill! she knew that he was nearly going out of his mind again, and that she must go to him. if anyone had told her this, she would simply have answered that she knew it. the large star-like eyes looked further and further away. those who saw that look would never believe that she meant to stay quietly and patiently at home. it is not very difficult either to see whether a person is content or full of longing. one only needs to see a little gleam of happiness in the eyes when he or she comes in from work and sits down by the fire. but in ingrid's eyes there was no gleam of happiness, except when she saw the mountain stream come down through the forest, broad and strong. it was that that should prepare the way for her. it happened one day that ingrid was sitting alone with karin landberg, and she began to tell her about her life at munkhyttan. karin was quite shocked. how could ingrid stand such a life? karin landberg was to be married very soon. and she was now at that stage when she could speak of nothing but her lover. she knew nothing but what he had taught her, and she could do nothing without first consulting him. it occurred to her that oluf had said something about gunnar hede which would help to frighten ingrid if she had begun to like that crazy fellow. and then she began to tell her how mad he had really been. for oluf had told her that when he was at the fair last autumn some gentlemen had said that they did not think the goat was mad at all. he only pretended to be in order to attract customers. but oluf had maintained that he was mad, and in order to prove it went to the market and bought a wretched little goat. and then it was plain enough to see that he was mad. oluf had only put the goat in front of him on the counter where his knives and things lay, and he had run away and left both his pack and his wares, and they had all laughed so awfully when they saw how frightened he was. and it was impossible that ingrid could care for anyone who had been so crazy. it was, no doubt, unwise of karin landberg that she did not look at ingrid whilst she told this story. if she had seen how she frowned, she would perhaps have taken warning. 'and you will marry anyone who could do such a thing!' ingrid said. 'i think it would be better to marry the goat himself.' this ingrid said in downright earnest, and it seemed so strange to karin that she, who was always so gentle, should have said anything so unkind, that it quite worried her. for several days she was quite unhappy, because she feared oluf was not what she would like him to be. it simply embittered karin's life until she made up her mind to tell oluf everything; but he was so nice and good, that he quite reassured her. it is not an easy task to wait for the spring in vermland. one can have sun and warmth in the evening, and the next morning find the ground white with snow. gooseberry-bushes and lawns may be green, but the trees of the birch-forest are bare, and seem as if they will never spring out. at whitsuntide there was spring in the air, but ingrid's prayers had been of no avail. not a single säter girl had taken up her abode in the forest, not a fen was dry; it was impossible to go through the forest. on whit-sunday ingrid and her adopted mother went to church. as it was such a great festival, they had driven to church. in olden days ingrid had very much enjoyed driving up to the church in full gallop, whilst people along the roadside politely took off their hats, and those who were standing on the road rushed to the side as if they were quite frightened. but at the present moment she could not enjoy anything. 'longing takes the fragrance from the rose, and the light from the full moon,' says an old proverb. but ingrid was glad for what she heard in church. it did her good to hear how the disciples were comforted in their longing. she was glad that jesus thought of comforting those who longed so greatly for him. whilst ingrid and the rest of the congregation were in church a tall dalar man came walking down the road. he wore a sheepskin coat, and had a large pack on his back, like one who cannot tell winter from summer, or sunday from any other day. he did not go into the church, but stole timidly past the horses that were tied to the railings, and went into the churchyard. he sat down on a grave and thought of all the dead who were still sleeping, and of one of the dead who had awakened to life again. he was still sitting there when the people left the church. karin landberg's oluf was one of the first to leave the church, and when he happened to look across the churchyard he discovered the dalar man. it is hard to say whether it was curiosity or some other motive that prompted him, but he went up to talk to him. he wanted to see if it were possible that he who was supposed to have been cured had become mad again. and it was possible. he told him at once that he sat there waiting for her who was called grave-lily. she was to come and play to him. she played so beautifully that the sun and the stars danced. then karin landberg's oluf told him that she for whom he was waiting was standing outside the church. if he stood up, he could see her. she would, no doubt, be glad to see him. the pastor's wife and ingrid were just getting into the carriage, when a tall dalar man came running up to them. he came at a great pace in spite of all the horses he must curtsy to, and he beckoned eagerly to the young girl. as soon as ingrid saw him she stood quite still. she could not have told whether she was most glad to see him again or most grieved that he had again gone out of his mind; she only forgot everything else in the world. her eyes began to sparkle. in that moment she saw nothing of the poor wretched man. she only felt that she was once again near the beautiful soul of the man for whom she had longed so terribly. there were a great many people about, and they could not help looking at her. they could not take their eyes from her face. she did not move; she stood waiting for him. but those who saw how radiant she was with happiness must have thought that she was waiting for some great and noble man, instead of a poor, half-witted fellow. they said afterwards that it almost seemed as if there were some affinity between his soul and hers--some secret affinity which lay so deeply hidden beneath their consciousness that no human being could understand it. but when hede was only a step or two from ingrid her adopted mother took her resolutely round the waist and lifted her into the carriage. she would not have a scene between the two just outside the church, with so many people present. and as soon as they were in the carriage the man sent his horses off at full gallop. a wild, terrified cry was heard as they drove away. the pastor's wife thanked god that she had got the young girl into the carriage. it was still early in the afternoon when a peasant came to the parsonage to speak with the pastor. he came to speak about the crazy dalar man. he had now gone quite raving mad, and they had been obliged to bind him. what did the pastor advise them to do? what should they do with him? the pastor could give them no other advice but to take him home. he told the peasant who he was, and where he lived. later on in the evening he told ingrid everything. it was best to tell her the truth, and trust to her own common-sense. but when night came it became clear to her that she had not time to wait for the spring. the poor girl set out for munkhyttan by the highroad. she would no doubt be able to get there by that road, although she knew that it was twice as long as the way through the forest. * * * * * it was whit-monday, late in the afternoon. ingrid walked along the highroad. there was a wide expanse of country, with low mountains and small patches of birch forest between the fields. the mountain-ash and the bird-cherry were in bloom; the light, sticky leaves of the aspen were just out. the ditches were full of clear, rippling water which made the stones at the bottom glisten and sparkle. ingrid walked sorrowfully along, thinking of him whose mind had again given way, wondering whether she could do anything for him, whether it was of any use that she had left her home in this manner. she was tired and hungry; her shoes had begun to go to pieces. perhaps it would be better for her to turn back. she could never get to munkhyttan. the further she walked, the more sorrowful she became. she could not help thinking that it could be of no use her coming now that he had gone quite out of his mind. there was no doubt it was too late now; it was quite hopeless to do anything for him. but as soon as she thought of turning back she saw gunnar hede's face close to her cheek, as she had so often seen it before. it gave her new courage; she felt as if he were calling for her. she again felt hopeful and confident of being able to help him. just as ingrid raised her head, looking a little less downcast, a queer little procession came towards her. there was a little horse, drawing a little cart; a fat woman sat in the cart, and a tall, thin man, with long, thin moustaches walked by the side of it. in the country, where no one understood anything about art, mr. and mrs. blomgren always went in for looking like ordinary people. the little cart in which they travelled about was well covered over, and no one could suspect that it only contained fireworks and conjuring apparatus and marionettes. no one could suspect that the fat woman who sat on the top of the load, looking like a well-to-do shopkeeper's wife, was formerly miss viola, who once sprang through the air, or that the man who walked by her side, and looked like a pensioned soldier, was the same mr. blomgren who occasionally, to break the monotony of the journey, took it into his head to turn a somersault over the horse, and play the ventriloquist with thrushes and siskins that sang in the trees by the roadside, so that he made them quite mad. the horse was very small, and had formerly drawn a roundabout, and therefore it would never go unless it heard music. on that account mrs. blomgren generally sat playing the jews'-harp, but as soon as they met anyone, she put it in her pocket, so that no one should discover they were artists, for whom country people have no respect whatever. owing to this they did not travel very fast, but they were not in any hurry either. the blind man, who played the violin, had to walk some little distance behind the others in order not to betray the fact of his belonging to the company. the blind man was led by a little dog; he was not allowed to have a child to lead him, for that would always have reminded mr. and mrs. blomgren of a little girl who was called ingrid. that would have been too sad. and now they were all in the country on account of the spring. for however much money mr. and mrs. blomgren were making in the towns, they felt they _must_ be in the country at that time of the year, for mr. and mrs. blomgren were artists. they did not recognise ingrid, and she went past them without taking any notice of them, for she was in a hurry; she was afraid of their detaining her. but directly afterwards she felt that it was heartless and unkind of her, and turned back. if ingrid could have felt glad about anything, she would have been glad by seeing the old people's joy at meeting her. you may be sure they had plenty to talk about. the little horse turned its head time after time to see what was wrong with the roundabout. strangely enough, it was ingrid who talked the most. the two old people saw at once that she had been crying, and they were so concerned that she was obliged to tell them everything that had happened to her. but it was a relief to ingrid to speak. the old people had their own way of taking things; they clapped their hands when she told them how she had got out of the grave and how she had frightened the pastor's wife. they caressed her and praised her because she had run away from the parsonage. for them nothing was dull or sad, but everything was bright and hopeful. they simply had no standard by which to measure reality, and therefore its hardness could not affect them. they compared everything they heard with the pieces from marionette theatres and pantomimes. of course, one also put a little sorrow and misery into the pantomime, but that was only done to heighten the effect. and, of course, everything would end well. in the pantomimes it always ended well. there was something infectious in all this hopefulness. ingrid knew they did not at all understand how great her trouble was, but it was cheering all the same to listen to them. but they were also of real help to ingrid. they told her that they had had dinner a short time since at the inn at torsäker, and just as they were getting up from the table some peasants came driving up with a man who was mad. mrs. blomgren could not bear to see mad people, and wanted to go away at once, and mr. blomgren had consented. but supposing it was ingrid's madman! and they had hardly said the words before ingrid said that it was very likely, and wanted to set off at once. mr. blomgren then asked his wife in his own ceremonious manner if they were not in the country solely on account of the spring, and if it were not just the same where they went. and old mrs. blomgren asked him equally ceremoniously in her turn if he thought she would leave her beloved ingrid before she had reached the harbour of her happiness. then the old roundabout horse was turned, and conversation grew more difficult, because they again had to play on the jews'-harp. as soon as mrs. blomgren wished to say anything, she was obliged to hand the instrument to mr. blomgren, and when mr. blomgren wanted to speak, he gave it back again to his wife. and the little horse stood still every time the instrument passed from mouth to mouth. the whole time they did their best to comfort ingrid. they related all the fairy tales they had seen represented at the dolls' theatre. they comforted her with the 'enchanted princess,' they comforted her with 'cinderella,' they comforted her with all the fairy tales under the sun. mr. and mrs. blomgren watched ingrid when they saw that her eyes grew brighter. 'artist's eyes,' they said, nodding contentedly to each other. 'what did we say? artist's eyes!' in some incomprehensible manner they had got the idea that ingrid had become one of them, an artist. they thought she was playing a part in a drama. it was a triumph for them in their old age. on they went as fast as they could. the old couple were only afraid that the madman would not be at the inn any longer. but he was there, and the worst of it was, no one knew how to get him away. the two peasants from raglanda who had brought him had taken him to one of the rooms and locked him in whilst they were waiting for fresh horses. when they left him his arms had been tied behind him, but he had somehow managed to free his hands from the cord, and when they came to fetch him he was free, and, beside himself with rage, had seized a chair, with which he threatened to strike anyone who approached him. they could do nothing but beat a hasty retreat and lock the door. the peasants now only waited for the landlord and his men to return and help them to bind him again. all the hope which ingrid's old friends had reawakened within her was, however, not quenched. she quite saw that gunnar hede was worse than he had ever been before, but that was what she had expected. she still hoped. it was not their fairy tales, it was their great love that had given her new hope. she asked the men to let her go to the madman. she said she knew him, and he would not do her any harm; but the peasants said they were not mad. the man in the room would kill anybody who went in. ingrid sat down to think. she thought how strange it was that she should meet mr. and mrs. blomgren just to-day. surely that meant something. she would never have met them if it had not been for some purpose. and ingrid thought of how hede had regained his senses the last time. could she not again make him do something which would remind him of olden days, and drive away his mad thoughts? she thought and thought. * * * * * mr. and mrs. blomgren sat on a seat outside the inn, looking more unhappy than one would have thought was possible. they were not far from crying. ingrid, their 'child,' came up to them with a smile--such a smile as only she could have--and stroked their old, wrinkled cheeks, and said it would please her so much if they would let her see a performance like those she used to see every day in the olden time. it would be such a comfort to her. at first they said no, for they were not at all in proper artist humour, but when she had expended a few smiles upon them they could not resist her. they went to their cart and unpacked their costumes. when they were ready they called for the blind man, and ingrid selected the place where the performance was to be held. she would not let them perform in the yard, but took them into the garden belonging to the inn, for there was a garden belonging to this inn. it was mostly full of beds for vegetables which had not yet come up, but here and there was an apple-tree in bloom. and ingrid said she would like them to perform under one of the apple-trees in bloom. some lads and servant-girls came running when they heard the violin, so there was a small audience. but it was hard work for mr. and mrs. blomgren to perform. ingrid had asked too much of them; they were really much too sad. and it was very unfortunate that ingrid had taken them out into the garden. she had evidently not remembered that the rooms in the inn faced this way. mrs. blomgren was very nearly running away when she heard a window in one of the rooms quickly opened. supposing the madman had heard the music, and supposing he jumped out of the window and came to them? but mrs. blomgren was somewhat reassured when she saw who had opened the window. it was a young gentleman with a pleasant face. he was in shirt-sleeves, but otherwise very decently dressed. his eye was quiet, his lips smiled, and he stroked his hair back from his forehead with his hand. mr. blomgren was working, and was so taken up with the performance that he did not notice anything. mrs. blomgren, who had nothing else to do but kiss her hands in all directions, had time to observe everything. it was astonishing how radiant ingrid suddenly looked. her eyes shone as never before, and her face was so white that light seemed to come from it. and all this radiancy was directed towards the man in the window. he did not hesitate long. he stood up on the window-sill and jumped down to them, and he went up to the blind man and asked him to lend him his violin. ingrid at once took the violin from the blind man and gave it to him. 'play the waltz from "freischütz,"' she said. then the man began to play, and ingrid smiled, but she looked so unearthly that mrs. blomgren almost thought that she would dissolve into a sunbeam, and fly away from them. but as soon as mrs. blomgren heard the man play she knew him again. 'is that how it is?' she said to herself. 'is it he? that was why she wanted to see two old people perform.' * * * * * gunnar hede, who had been walking up and down his room in such a rage that he felt inclined to kill someone, had suddenly heard a blind man playing outside his window, and that had taken him back to an incident in his former life. he could not at first understand where his own violin was, but then he remembered that alin had taken it away with him, and now the only thing left for him to do was to try and borrow the blind man's violin to play himself quiet again; he was so excited. and as soon as he had got the violin in his hand he began to play. it never occurred to him that he could not play. he had no idea that for several years he had only been able to play some poor little tunes. he thought all the time he was in upsala, outside the house with the virginia-creepers, and he expected the acrobats would begin to dance as they had done last time. he endeavoured to play with more life to make them do so, but his fingers were stiff and awkward; the bow would not properly obey them. he exerted himself so much that the perspiration stood on his forehead. at last, however, he got hold of the right tune--the same they had danced to the last time. he played it so enticingly, so temptingly, that it ought to have melted their hearts. but the old acrobats did not begin to dance. it was a long time since they had met the student at upsala; they did not remember how enthusiastic they were then. they had no idea what he expected them to do. gunnar hede looked at ingrid for an explanation why they did not dance. when he looked at her there was such an unearthly radiance in her eyes that in his astonishment he gave up playing. he stood a moment looking round the small crowd. they all looked at him with such strange, uneasy glances. it was impossible to play with people staring at him so. he simply went away from them. there were some apple-pears in bloom at the other end of the garden, so he went there. he saw now that nothing fitted in with the ideas he had just had that alin had locked him in, and that he was at upsala. the garden was too large, and the house was not covered with red creepers. no, it could not be upsala. but he did not mind very much where he was. it seemed to him as if he had not played for centuries, and now he had got hold of a violin. now he would play. he placed the violin against his cheek, and began. but again he was stopped by the stiffness in his fingers. he could only play the very simplest things. 'i shall have to begin at the beginning,' he said. and he smiled and played a little minuet. it was the first thing he had learnt. his father had played it to him, and he had afterwards played it from ear. he saw all at once the whole scene before him, and he heard the words: 'the little prince should learn to dance, but he broke his little leg.' then he tried to play several other small dances. they were some he had played as a school boy. they had asked him to play at the dancing-lessons at the young ladies' boarding-school. he could see the girls dance and swing about, and could hear the dancing-mistress beat the time with her foot. then he grew bolder. he played first violin in one of mozart's quartettes. when he learnt that, he was in the sixth form at the latin school at falun. some old gentlemen had practised this quartette for a concert, but the first violin had been taken ill, and he was asked to take his part, young as he was. he remembered how proud he had been. gunnar hede only thought of getting his fingers into practice when he played these childish exercises. but he soon noticed that something strange was happening to him. he had a distinct sensation that in his brain there was some great darkness that hid his past. as soon as he tried to remember anything, it was as if he were trying to find something in a dark room; but when he played, some of the darkness vanished. without his having thought of it, the darkness had vanished so much that he could now remember his childhood and school life. then he made up his mind to let himself be led by the violin; perhaps it could drive away all the darkness. and so it did, for every piece he played the darkness vanished a little. the violin led him through the one year after the other, awoke in him memories of studies, friends and pleasures. the darkness stood like a wall before him, but when he advanced against it, armed with the violin, it vanished step by step. now and then he looked round to see whether it closed again behind him. but behind him was bright day. the violin came to a series of duets for piano and violin. he only played a bar or two of each. but a large portion of the darkness vanished; he remembered his _fiancée_ and his engagement. he would like to have dwelt a little over this, but there was still much darkness left to be played away. he had no time. he glided into a hymn. he had heard it once when he was unhappy. he remembered he was sitting in a village church when he heard it. but why had he been unhappy? because he went about the country selling goods like a poor pedlar. it was a hard life. it was sad to think about it. the bow went over the strings like a whirlwind, and again cut through a large portion of the darkness. now he saw the fifty-mile forest, the snow-covered animals, the weird shapes, the drifts made of them. he remembered the journey to see his _fiancée_, remembered that she had broken the engagement. all this became clear to him at one time. he really felt neither sorrow nor joy over anything he remembered. the most important thing was that he did remember. this of itself was an unspeakable pleasure. but all at once the bow stopped, as if of its own accord. it would not lead him any further. and yet there was more--much more--that he must remember. the darkness still stood like a solid wall before him. he compelled the bow to go on. and it played two quite common tunes, the poorest he had ever heard. how could his bow have learned such tunes? the darkness did not vanish in the least for these tunes. they really taught him nothing; but from them came a terror which he could not remember having ever felt before--an inconceivable, awful fear, the mad terror of a doomed soul. he stopped playing; he could not bear it. what was there in these tunes--what was there? the darkness did not vanish for them, and the awful thing was, that it seemed to him that when he did not advance against the darkness with the violin and drive it before him, it came gliding towards him to overwhelm him. he had been standing playing, with his eyes half closed; now he opened them and looked into the world of reality. he saw ingrid, who had been standing listening to him the whole time. he asked her, not expecting an answer, but simply to keep back the darkness for a moment: 'when did i last play this tune?' but ingrid stood trembling. she had made up her mind, whatever happened, now he should hear the truth. afraid she was, but at the same time full of courage, and quite decided as to what she meant to do. he should not again escape her, not be allowed to slip away from her. but in spite of her courage she did not dare to tell him straight out that these were the tunes he had played whilst he was out of his mind; she evaded the question. 'that was what you used to play at munkhyttan last winter,' she said. hede felt as if he were surrounded by nothing but mysteries. why did this young girl say '_du_' to him? she was not a peasant girl.[a] her hair was dressed like other young ladies', on the top of the head and in small curls. her dress was home-woven, but she wore a lace collar. she had small hands and a refined face. this face, with the large, dreamy eyes, could not belong to a peasant girl. hede's memory could not tell him anything about her. why did she, then, say '_du_' to him? how did she know that he had played these tunes at home? [a] the peasants in the dalar district used formerly to address everybody by the pronoun _du_ (thou), even when speaking to the king; this custom is now, however, not so general.--i.b. 'what is your name?' he said. 'who are you?' 'i am ingrid, whom you saw at upsala many years ago, and whom you comforted because she could not learn to dance on the tight-rope.' this went back to the time he could partly remember. now he did remember her. 'how tall and pretty you have grown, ingrid!' he said. 'and how fine you have become! what a beautiful brooch you have!' he had been looking at her brooch for some time. he thought he knew it; it was like a brooch of enamel and pearls his mother used to wear. the young girl answered at once. 'your mother gave it to me. you must have seen it before.' gunnar hede put down the violin and went up to ingrid. he asked her almost violently: 'how is it possible--how can you wear her brooch? how is it that i don't know anything about your knowing my mother?' ingrid was frightened. she grew almost gray with terror. she knew already what the next question would be. 'i know nothing, ingrid. i don't know why i am here. i don't know why you are here. why don't i know all this?' 'oh, don't ask me!' she went back a step or two, and stretched out her hands as if to protect herself. 'won't you tell me?' 'don't ask! don't ask!' he seized her roughly by the wrist to compel her to tell the truth. 'tell me! i am in my full senses! why is there so much i can't remember?' she saw something wild and threatening in his eyes. she knew now that she would be obliged to tell him. but she felt as if it were impossible to tell a man that he had been mad. it was much more difficult than she had thought. it was impossible--impossible! 'tell me!' he repeated. but she could hear from his voice that he would not hear it. he was almost ready to kill her if she told him. then she summoned up all her love, and looked straight into gunnar hede's eyes, and said: 'you have not been quite right.' 'not for a long time?' 'i don't quite know--not for three or four years.' 'have i been out of my mind?' 'no, no! you have bought and sold and gone to the fairs.' 'in what way have i been mad?' 'you were frightened.' 'of whom was i frightened?' 'of animals.' 'of goats, perhaps?' 'yes, mostly of goats.' he had stood clutching her by the wrist the whole time. he now flung her hand away from him--simply flung it. he turned away from ingrid in a rage, as if she had maliciously told him an infamous lie. but this feeling gave way for something else which excited him still more. he saw before his eyes, as distinctly as if it had been a picture, a tall dalar man, weighed down by a huge pack. he was going into a peasant's house, but a wretched little dog came rushing at him. he stopped and curtsied and curtsied, and did not dare to go in until a man came out of the house, laughing, and drove the dog away. when he saw this he again felt that terrible fear. in this anguish the vision disappeared, but then he heard voices. they shouted and shrieked around him. they laughed. derision was showered upon him. worst and loudest were the shrill voices of children. one word, one name came over and over again: it was shouted, shrieked, whispered, wheezed into his ear--'the goat! the goat!' and that all meant him, gunnar hede. all that he had lived in. he felt in full consciousness the same unspeakable fear he had suffered whilst out of his mind. but now it was not fear for anything outside himself--now he was afraid of himself. 'it was i! it was i!' he said, wringing his hands. the next moment he was kneeling against a low seat. he laid his head down and cried, cried: 'it was i!' he moaned and sobbed. 'it was i!' how could he have courage to bear this thought--a madman, scorned and laughed at by all? 'ah! let me go mad again!' he said, hitting the seat with his fist. 'this is more than a human being can bear.' he held his breath a moment. the darkness came towards him as the saviour he invoked. it came gliding towards him like a mist. a smile passed over his lips. he could feel the muscles of his face relax, feel that he again had the look of a madman. but that was better. the other he could not bear. to be pointed at, jeered at, scorned, mad! no, it was better to be so again and not to know it. why should he come back to life? everyone must loathe him. the first light, fleeting clouds of the great darkness began to enwrap him. ingrid stood there, seeing and hearing all his anguish, not knowing but that all would soon be lost again. she saw clearly that madness was again about to seize him. she was so frightened, so frightened, all her courage had gone. but before he again lost his senses, and became so scared that he allowed no one to come near him, she would at least take leave of him and of all her happiness. gunnar hede felt that ingrid came and knelt down beside him, laid her arm round his neck, put her cheek to his, and kissed him. she did not think herself too good to come near him, the madman, did not think herself too good to kiss him. there was a faint hissing in the darkness. the mist lifted, and it was as if serpents had raised their heads against him, and now wheezed with anger that they could not reach to sting him. 'do not be so unhappy,' ingrid said. 'do not be so unhappy. no one thinks of the past, if you will only get well.' 'i want to be mad again,' he said. 'i cannot bear it. i cannot bear to think how i have been.' 'yes, you can,' said ingrid. 'no; that no one can forget,' he moaned. 'i was so dreadful! no one can love me.' 'i love you,' she said. he looked up doubtfully. 'you kissed me in order that i should not go out of my mind again. you pity me.' 'i will kiss you again,' she said. 'you say that now because you think i am in need of hearing it.' 'are you in need of hearing that someone loves you?' 'if i am--if i am? ah, child,' he said, and tore himself away from her, 'how can i possibly bear it, when i know that everyone who sees me thinks: "that fellow has been mad; he has gone about curtsying for dogs and cats."' then he began again. he lay crying with his face in his hands. 'it is better to go out of one's mind again. i can hear them shouting after me, and i see myself, and the anguish, the anguish, the anguish----' but then ingrid's patience came to an end. 'yes, that is right,' she cried; 'go out of your mind again. i call that manly to go mad in order to escape a little anguish.' she sat biting her lips, struggling with her tears, and as she could not get the words out quickly enough, she seized him by the shoulder and shook him. she was enraged and quite beside herself with anger because he would again escape her, because he did not struggle and fight. 'what do you care about me? what do you care about your mother? you go mad, and then you will have peace.' she shook him again by the arm. 'to be saved from anguish, you say, but you don't care about one who has been waiting for you all her life. if you had any thought for anyone but yourself, you would fight against this and get well; but you have no thought for others. you can come so touchingly in visions and dreams and beg for help, but in reality you will not have any help. you imagine that your sufferings are greater than anyone else's, but there are others who have suffered more than you.' at last gunnar hede raised his eyes, and looked her straight in the face. she was anything but beautiful at this moment. tears were streaming down her cheeks, and her lips trembled, whilst she tried to get out the words between her sobs. but in his eyes her emotion only made her more beautiful. a wonderful peace came over him, and a great and humble thankfulness. something great and wonderful had come to him in his deepest humiliation. it must be a great love--a great love. he had sat bemoaning his wretchedness, and love came and knocked at his door. he would not merely be tolerated when he came back to life; people would not only with difficulty refrain from laughing at him. there was one who loved him and longed for him. she spoke hardly to him, but he heard love trembling in every single word. he felt as if she were offering him thrones and kingdoms. she told him that whilst he had been out of his mind he had saved her life. he had awakened her from the dead, had helped her, protected her. but this was not enough for her; she would possess him altogether. when she kissed him he had felt a life-giving balm enter his sick soul, but he had hardly dared to think that it was love that made her. but he could not doubt her anger and her tears. he was beloved--he, poor wretched creature! he who had been held in derision by everybody! and before the great and humble bliss which now filled gunnar hede vanished the last darkness. it was drawn aside like a heavy curtain, and he saw plainly before him the region of terror through which he had wandered. but there, too, he had met ingrid; there he had lifted her from the grave; there he had played for her at the hut in the forest; there she had striven to heal him. but only the memory of her came back: the feelings with which she had formerly inspired him now awoke. love filled his whole being; he felt the same burning longing that he had felt in the churchyard at raglanda when she was taken from him. in that region of terror, in that great desert, there had at any rate grown one flower that had comforted him with fragrance and beauty, and now he felt that love would dwell with him forever. the wild flower of the desert had been transplanted into the garden of life, and had taken root and grown and thriven, and when he felt this he knew he was saved; he knew that the darkness had found its master. ingrid was silent. she was tired, as one is tired after hard work; but she was also content, for she felt she had carried out her work in the best possible manner. she knew she had conquered. at last gunnar hede broke the silence. 'i promise you that i will not give in,' he said. 'thank you,' ingrid answered. nothing more was said. gunnar hede thought he would never be able to tell her how much he loved her. it could never be told in words, only shown every day and every hour of his life. _from a swedish_ homestead ii _queens at_ kungahälla _queens at_ kungahälla _on the_ site _of the great_ kungahälla should a stranger who had heard about the old city of kungahälla ever visit the site on the northern river where it once lay, he would assuredly be much surprised. he would ask himself whether churches and fortifications could melt away like snow, or if the earth had opened and swallowed them up. he stands on a spot where formerly there was a mighty city, and he cannot find a street or a landing-stage. he sees neither ruins nor traces of devastating fires; he only sees a country seat, surrounded by green trees and red outbuildings. he sees nothing but broad meadows and fields, where the plough does its work year after year without being hindered either by brick foundations or old pavements. he would probably first of all go down to the river. he would not expect to see anything of the great ships that went to the baltic ports or to distant spain, but he would in all likelihood think that he might find traces of the old ship-yards, of the large boat-houses and landing-stages. he presumes that he will find some of the old kilns where they used to refine salt; he will see the worn-out pavement on the main street that led to the harbour. he will inquire about the german pier and the swedish pier; he would like to see the weeping bridge where the women of kungahälla took leave of their husbands and sons when they went to distant lands, but when he comes down to the river's edge he sees nothing but a forest of waving reeds. he sees a road full of holes leading down to the ferry; he sees a couple of common barges and a little flat-bottomed ferryboat that is taking a peasant cart over to hisingen, but no big ships come gliding up the river. he does not even see any dark hulls lying and rotting at the bottom of the river. as he does not find anything remarkable down at the harbour, he will probably begin to look for the celebrated convent hill. he expects to see traces of the palisading and ramparts which in olden days surrounded it. he is hoping to see the ruins of the high walls and the long cloisters. he says to himself that anyhow there must be ruins of that magnificent church where the cross was kept--that miracle-working cross which had been brought from jerusalem. he thinks of the number of monuments covering the holy hills which rise over other ancient cities, and his heart begins to beat with glad expectation. but when he comes to the old convent hill which rises above the fields, he finds nothing but clusters of murmuring trees; he finds neither walls, nor towers, nor gables perforated with pointed arched windows. garden seats and benches he will find under the shadow of the trees, but no cloisters decorated with pillars, no hewn gravestones. well, if he has not found anything here, he will in any case try to find the old king's hall. he thinks about the large halls from which kungahälla is supposed to have derived its name. it might be that there was something left of the timber--a yard thick--that formed the walls, or of the deep cellars under the great hall where the norwegian kings celebrated their banquets. he thinks of the smooth green courtyard of the king's hall, where the kings used to ride their silver-shod chargers, and where the queens used to milk the golden-horned cows. he thinks of the lofty ladies' bower; of the brewing-room, with its large boilers; of the huge kitchen, where half an ox at a time was placed in the pot, and where a whole hog was roasted on the spit. he thinks of the serfs' house, of the falcon's cages, of the great pantries--house by house all round the courtyard, moss-grown with age, decorated with dragons' heads. of such a number of buildings there must be some traces left, he thinks. but should he then inquire for the old king's hall, he will be taken to a modern country-house, with glass veranda and conservatories. the king's seat has vanished, and with it all the drinking-horns, inlaid with silver, and the shields, covered with skin. one cannot even show him the well-kept courtyard, with its short, close grass, and with narrow paths of black earth. he sees strawberry-beds and hedges of rose-trees; he sees happy children and young girls dancing under apple and pear trees. but he does not see strong men wrestling, or knights playing at ball. perhaps he asks about the great oak on the market place, beneath which the kings sat in judgment, and where the twelve stones of judgment were set up. or about the long street, which was said to be seven miles long! or about the rich merchants' houses, separated by dark lanes, each having its own landing-stage and boathouse down by the river. or about the marie church in the market place, where the seamen brought their offerings of small, full-rigged ships, and the sorrowful, small silver hearts. but there is nothing left to show him of all these things. cows and sheep graze where the long street used to be. rye and barley grow on the market place, and stables and barns stand where people used to flock round the tempting market-stalls. how can he help feeling disappointed? is there not a single thing to be found, he says, not a single relic left? and he thinks perhaps that they have been deceiving him. the great kungahälla can never have stood here, he says. it must have stood in some other place. then they take him down to the riverside, and show him a roughly-hewn stone block, and they scrape away the silver-gray lichen, so that he can see there are some figures hewn in the stone. he will not be able to understand what they represent; they will be as incomprehensible to him as the spots in the moon. but they will assure him that they represent a ship and an elk, and that they were cut in the stone in the olden days to commemorate the foundation of the city. and should he still not be able to understand, they will tell him what is the meaning of the inscription on the stone. _the forest_ queen marcus antonius poppius was a roman merchant of high standing. he traded with distant lands; and from the harbour at ostia he sent well-equipped triremas to spain, to britain, and even to the north coast of germany. fortune favoured him, and he amassed immense riches, which he hoped to leave as an inheritance to his only son. unfortunately, this only son had not inherited his father's ability. this happens, unfortunately, all the world over. a rich man's only son. need one say more? it is, and always will be, the same story. one would almost think that the gods give rich men these incorrigible idlers, these dull, pale, languid fools of sons, to show man what unutterable folly it is to amass riches. when will the eyes of mankind be opened? when will men listen to the warning voice of the gods? young silvius antonius poppius, at the age of twenty, had already tried all the pleasures of life. he was also fond of letting people see that he was tired of them; but in spite of that, one did not notice any diminution in the eagerness with which he sought them. on the contrary, he was quite in despair when a singularly persistent ill-luck began to pursue him, and to interfere with all his pleasures. his numidian horses fell lame the day before the great chariot race of the year; his illicit love affairs were found out; his cleverest cook died from malaria. this was more than enough to crush a man whose strength had not been hardened by exertion and toil. young poppius felt so unhappy that he made up his mind to take his own life. he seemed to think that this was the only way in which he could cheat the god of misfortune who pursued him and made his life a burden. one can understand that an unhappy creature commits suicide in order to escape the persecution of man; but only a fool like silvius antonius could think of adopting such means to flee from the gods. one recalls involuntarily the story of the man who, to escape from the lion, sprang right into its open jaws. young silvius was much too effeminate to choose a bloody death. neither had he any inclination to die from a painful poison. after careful consideration, he resolved to die the gentle death of the waves. but when he went down to the tiber to drown himself he could not make up his mind to give his body to the dirty, sluggish water of the river. for a long time he stood undecided, staring into the stream. then he was seized by the magic charm which lies dreamily over a river. he felt that great, holy longing which fills these never-resting wanderers of nature; he would see the sea. 'i will die in the clear blue sea, through which the sun's rays penetrate right to the bottom,' said silvius antonius. 'my body shall rest upon a couch of pink coral. the foamy waves which i set in motion when i sink into the deep shall be snow-white and fresh; they shall not be like the sooty froth which lies quivering at the river-side.' he immediately hurried home, had his horses harnessed and drove to ostia. he knew that one of his father's ships was lying in the harbour ready to sail. young poppius drove his horses at a furious pace, and he succeeded in getting on board just as the anchor was being weighed. of course he did not think it necessary to take any baggage with him. he did not even trouble to ask the skipper for what place the craft was bound. to the sea they were going, in any case--that was enough for him. nor was it very long before the young suicide reached the goal of his desire. the trirema passed the mouth of the tiber, and the mediterranean lay before silvius antonius, its sparkling waves bathed in sun. its beauty made silvius antonius believe in the poet's assertion that the swelling ocean is but a thin veil which covers the most beautiful world. he felt bound to believe that he who boldly makes his way through this cover will immediately reach the sea-god's palace of pearls. the young man congratulated himself that he had chosen this manner of death. and one could scarcely call it that; it was impossible to believe that this beautiful water could kill. it was only the shortest road to a land where pleasure is not a delusion, leaving nothing but distaste and loathing. he could only with difficulty suppress his eagerness. but the whole deck was full of sailors. even silvius could understand that if he now sprang into the sea the consequence would simply be that one of his father's sailors would quickly spring overboard and fish him out. as soon as the sails were set and the oarsmen were well in swing, the skipper came up to him and saluted him with the greatest politeness. 'you intend, then, to go with me to germany, my silvius?' he said. 'you do me great honour.' young poppius suddenly remembered that this man used never to return from a voyage without bringing him some curious thing or other from the barbarous countries he had visited. sometimes it was a couple of pieces of wood with which the savages made fire; sometimes it was the black horn of an ox, which they used as a drinking-vessel; sometimes a necklace of bear's teeth, which had been a great chief's mark of distinction. the good man beamed with joy at having his master's son on board his ship. he saw in it a new proof of the wisdom of old poppius, in sending his son to distant lands, instead of letting him waste more time amongst the effeminate young roman idlers. young poppius did not wish to undeceive him. he was afraid that if he disclosed his intention the skipper would at once turn back with him. 'verily, galenus,' he said, 'i would gladly accompany you on this voyage, but i fear i must ask you to put me ashore at bajæ. i made up my mind too late. i have neither clothes nor money.' but galenus assured him that that need was soon remedied. was he not upon his father's well-appointed vessel? he should not want for anything--neither warm fur tunic when the weather was cold, or light syrian clothing of the kind that seamen wear when they cruise in fair weather in the friendly seas between the islands. * * * * * three months after their departure from ostia, galenus's trirema rowed in amongst a cluster of rocky islands. neither the skipper nor any of his crew were quite clear as to where they really were, but they were glad to take shelter for a time from the storms that raged on the open sea. one could almost think that silvius antonius was right in his belief that some deity persecuted him. no one on the ship had ever before experienced such a voyage. the luckless sailors said to each other that they had not had fair weather for two days since they left ostia. the one storm had followed upon the other. they had undergone the most terrible sufferings. they had suffered hunger and thirst, whilst they, day and night, exhausted and almost fainting from want of sleep, had had to manage sails and oars. the fact of the seamen being unable to trade had added to their despondency. how could they approach the coast and display their wares on the shore to effect an exchange in such weather? on the contrary, every time they saw the coast appear through the obstinate heavy mist that surrounded them, they had been compelled to put out to sea again for fear of the foam-decked rocks. one night, when they struck on a rock, they had been obliged to throw the half of their cargo into the sea. and as for the other half, they dared not think about it, as they feared it was completely spoiled by the breakers which had rolled over the ship. certain it was that silvius antonius had proved himself not to be lucky at sea either. silvius antonius was still living; he had not drowned himself. it is difficult to say why he prolonged an existence which could not be of any more pleasure to him now than when he first made up his mind to cut it short. perhaps he had hoped that the sea would have taken possession of him without he himself doing anything to bring it about. perhaps his love for the sea had passed away during its bursts of anger; perhaps he had resolved to die in the opal-green perfumed water of his bath. but had galenus and his men known why the young man had come on board, they would assuredly have bitterly complained that he had not carried out his intention, for they were all convinced that it was his presence which had called forth their misfortunes. many a dark night galenus had feared that the sailors would throw him into the sea. more than one of them related that in the terrible stormy nights he had seen dark hands stretching out of the water, grasping after the ship. and they did not think it was necessary to cast lots to find out who it was that these hands wanted to draw down into the deep. both the skipper and the crew did silvius antonius the special honour to think that it was for his sake these storms rent the air and scourged the sea. if silvius during this time had behaved like a man, if he had taken his share of their work and anxiety, then perhaps some of his companions might have had pity upon him as a being who had brought upon himself the wrath of the gods. but the young man had not understood how to win their sympathy. he had only thought of seeking shelter for himself from the wind, and of sending them to fetch furs and rugs from the stores for his protection from the cold. but for the moment all complaints over his presence had ceased. as soon as the storm had succeeded in driving the trirema into the quiet waters between the islands, its rage was spent. it behaved like a sheep-dog that becomes silent and keeps quiet as soon as it sees the sheep on the right way to the fold. the heavy clouds disappeared from the sky; the sun shone. for the first time during the voyage the sailors felt the joys of summer spreading over nature. upon these storm-beaten men the sunshine and the warmth had almost an intoxicating effect. instead of longing for rest and sleep, they became as merry as happy children in the morning. they expected they would find a large continent behind all these rocks and boulders. they hoped to find people, and--who could tell?--on this foreign coast, which had probably never before been visited by a roman ship, their wares would no doubt find a ready sale. in that case they might after all do some good business, and bring back with them skins of bear and elk, and large quantities of white wax and golden amber. whilst the trirema slowly made its way between the rocks, which grew higher and higher and richer with verdure and trees, the crew made haste to decorate it so that it could attract the attention of the barbarians. the ship, which, even without any decoration, was a beautiful specimen of human handiwork, soon rivalled in splendour the most gorgeous bird. recently tossed about by storms and ravaged by tempests, it now bore on its topmast a golden sceptre and sails striped with purple. in the bows a resplendent figure of neptune was raised, and in the stern a tent of many-coloured silken carpets. and do not think the sailors neglected to hang the sides of the ship with rugs, the fringes of which trailed in the water, or to wind the long oars of the ship with golden ribbons. neither did the crew of the ship wear the clothes they had worn during the voyage, and which the sea and the storm had done their best to destroy. they arrayed themselves in white garments, wound purple scarves round their waists, and placed glittering bands in their hair. even silvius antonius roused himself from his apathy. it was as if he was glad of having at last found something to do which he thoroughly understood. he was shaved, had his hair trimmed, and his whole person rubbed over with fragrant scents. then he put on a flowing robe, hung a mantle over his shoulders, and chose from the large casket of jewels which galenus opened for him rings and bracelets, necklaces, and a golden belt. when he was ready he flung aside the purple curtains of the silken tent, and laid himself on a couch in the opening of the tent in order to be seen by the people on the shore. during these preparations the sea became narrower and narrower, and the sailors discovered that they were entering the mouth of a river. the water was fresh, and there was land on both sides. the trirema glided slowly onwards up the sparkling river. the weather was brilliant, and the whole of nature was gloriously peaceful. and how the magnificent merchantman enlivened the great solitude! on both sides of the river primeval forests, high and thick, met their view. pine-trees grew right to the water's edge. the river in its eternal course had washed away the earth from the roots, and the hearts of the seamen were moved with solemn awe at the sight, not only of these venerable trees, but even more by that of the naked roots, which resembled the mighty limbs of a giant. 'here,' they thought, 'man will never succeed in planting corn; here the ground will never be cleared for the building of a city, or even a farmstead. for miles round the earth is woven through with this network of roots, hard as steel. this alone is sufficient to make the dominion of the forest everlasting and unchangeable.' along the river the trees grew so close, and their branches were so entangled, that they formed firm, impenetrable walls. these walls of prickly firs were so strong and high that no fortified city need wish for stronger defences. but here and there there was, all the same, an opening in this wall of firs. it was the paths the wild beasts had made on their way to the river to drink. through these openings the strangers could obtain a glimpse of the interior of the forest. they had never seen anything like it. in sunless twilight there grew trees with trunks of greater circumference than the gate-towers on the walls of rome. there was a multitude of trees, fighting with each other for light and air. trees strove and struggled, trees were crippled and weighed down by other trees. trees took root in the branches of other trees. trees strove and fought as if they had been human beings. but if man or beast moved in this world of trees they must have other modes of making their way than those which the romans knew, for from the ground right up to the top of the forest was a network of stiff bare branches. from these branches fluttered long tangles of gray lichen, transforming the trees into weird beings with hair and beard. and beneath them the ground was covered with rotten and rotting trunks, and one's feet would have sunk into the decayed wood as into melting snow. the forest sent forth a fragrance which had a drowsy effect upon the men on board the ship. it was the strong odour of resin and wild honey that blended with the sickly smell from the decayed wood, and from innumerable gigantic red and yellow mushrooms. there was no doubt something awe-inspiring in all this, but it was also elevating to see nature in all its power before man had yet interfered with its dominion. it was not long before one of the sailors began to sing a hymn to the god of the forest, and involuntarily the whole crew joined in. they had quite given up all thought of meeting human beings in this forest-world. their hearts were filled with pious thoughts; they thought of the forest god and his nymphs. they said to themselves that when pan was driven from the woods of hellas he must have taken refuge here in the far north. with pious songs they entered his kingdom. every time there was a pause in the song they heard a gentle music from the forest. the tops of the fir-trees, vibrating in the noonday heat, sang and played. the sailors often discontinued their song in order to listen, if pan was not playing upon his flute. the oarsmen rowed slower and slower. the sailors gazed searchingly into the golden-green and black-violet water flowing under the fir-trees. they peered between the tall reeds which quivered and rustled in the wash of the ship. they were in such a state of expectation that they started at the sight of the white water-lilies that shone in the dark water between the reeds. and again they sang the song, 'pan, thou ruler of the forest!' they had given up all thoughts of trading. they felt that they stood at the entrance to the dwelling of the gods. all earthly cares had left them. then, all of a sudden, at the outlet of one of the tracks, there stood an elk, a royal deer with broad forehead and a forest of antlers on its horns. there was a breathless silence on the trirema. they stemmed the oars to slacken speed. silvius antonius arose from his purple couch. all eyes were fixed upon the elk. they thought they could discern that it carried something on its back, but the darkness of the forest and the drooping branches made it impossible to see distinctly. the huge animal stood for a long time and scented the air, with its muzzle turned towards the trirema. at last it seemed to understand that there was no danger. it made a step towards the water. behind the broad horns one could now discern more distinctly something light and white. they wondered if the elk carried on its back a harvest of wild roses. the crew gently plied their oars. the trirema drew nearer to the animal, which gradually moved towards the edge of the reeds. the elk strode slowly into the water, put down its feet carefully, so as not to be caught by the roots at the bottom. behind the horns one could now distinctly see the face of a maiden, surrounded by fair hair. the elk carried on its back one of those nymphs whom they had been expectantly awaiting, and whom they felt sure would be found in this primeval world. a holy enthusiasm filled the men on the trirema. one of them, who hailed from sicily, remembered a song which he had heard in his youth, when he played on the flowery plains around syracuse. he began to sing softly: 'nymph, amongst flowers born, arethusa by name, thou who in sheltered wood wanders, white like the moon.' and when the weather-beaten men understood the words, they tried to subdue the storm-like roar in their voices in order to sing: 'nymph, amongst flowers born, arethusa by name.' they steered the ship nearer and nearer the reeds. they did not heed that it had already once or twice touched the bottom. but the young forest maiden sat and played hide-and-seek between the horns. one moment she hid herself, the next she peeped out. she did not stop the elk; she drove it further into the river. when the elk had gone some little distance, she stroked it to make it stop. then she bent down and gathered two or three water-lilies. the men on the ship looked a little foolishly at each other. the nymph had, then, come solely for the purpose of plucking the white water-lilies that rocked on the waters of the river. she had not come for the sake of the roman seamen. then silvius antonius drew a ring from off his finger, sent up a shout that made the nymph look up, and threw her the ring. she stretched out her hand and caught it. her eyes sparkled. she stretched out her hands for more. silvius antonius again threw a ring. then she flung the water-lilies back into the river and drove the elk further into the water. now and again she stopped, but then a ring came flying from silvius antonius, and enticed her further. all at once she overcame her hesitation. the colour rose in her cheeks. she came nearer to the ship without it being necessary to tempt her. the water was already up to the shoulders of the elk. she came right under the side of the vessel. the sailors hung over the gunwales to help the beautiful nymph, should she wish to go on board the trirema. but she saw only silvius antonius, as he stood there, decked with pearls and rings, and fair as the sunrise. and when the young roman saw that the eyes of the nymph were fastened upon him, he leant over even further than the others. they cried to him that he should take care, lest he should lose his balance and fall into the sea. but this warning came too late. it is not known whether the nymph, with a quick movement, drew silvius antonius to her, or how it really happened, but before anyone thought of grasping him, he was overboard. all the same, there was no danger of silvius antonius drowning. the nymph stretched forth her lovely arms and caught him in them. he hardly touched the surface of the water. at the same moment her steed turned, rushed through the water, and disappeared in the forest. and loudly rang the laugh of the wild rider as she carried off silvius antonius. galenus and his men stood for a moment horror-stricken. then some of the men involuntarily threw off their clothes to swim to the shore; but galenus stopped them. 'without doubt this is the will of the gods,' he said. 'now we see the reason why they have brought silvius antonius poppius through a thousand storms to this unknown land. let us be glad that we have been an instrument in their hands; and let us not seek to hinder their will.' the seamen obediently took their oars and rowed down the river, softly singing to their even stroke the song of arethusa's flight. * * * * * when one has finished this story, surely the stranger must be able to understand the inscription on the old stone. he must be able to see both the elk with its many-antlered horns, and the trirema with its long oars. one does not expect that he shall be able to see silvius antonius poppius and the beautiful queen of the primeval forest, for in order to see them he must have the eyes of the relaters of fairy-tales of bygone days. he will understand that the inscription hales from the young roman himself, and that this also applies to the whole of the old story. silvius antonius has handed it down to his descendants word for word. he knew that it would gladden their hearts to know that they sprang from the world-famed romans. but the stranger, of course, need not believe that any of pan's nymphs have wandered here by the river's side. he understands quite well that a tribe of wild men have wandered about in the primeval forest, and that the rider of the elk was the daughter of the king who ruled over these people; and that the maiden who carried off silvius antonius would only rob him of his jewels, and that she did not at all think of silvius antonius himself, scarcely knew, perhaps, that he was a human being like herself. and the stranger can also understand that the name of silvius antonius would have been forgotten long ago in this country had he remained the fool he was. he will hear how misfortune and want roused the young roman, so that from being the despised slave of the wild men he became their king. it was he who attacked the forest with fire and steel. he erected the first firmly-timbered house. he built vessels and planted corn. he laid the foundation of the power and glory of great kungahälla. and when the stranger hears this, he looks around the country with a more contented glance than before. for even if the site of the city has been turned into fields and meadows, and even if the river no longer boasts of busy craft, still, this is the ground that has enabled him to breathe the air of the land of dreams, and shown him visions of bygone days. sigrid storräde once upon a time there was an exceedingly beautiful spring. it was the very spring that the swedish queen sigrid storräde summoned the norwegian king olaf trygveson to meet her at kungahälla in order to settle about their marriage. it was strange that king olaf would marry queen sigrid; for although she was fair and well-gifted, she was a wicked heathen, whilst king olaf was a christian, who thought of nothing but building churches and compelling the people to be baptized. but maybe the king thought that god the almighty would convert her. but it was even more strange that when storräde had announced to king olaf's messenger that she would set out for kungahälla as soon as the sea was no longer ice-bound, spring should come almost immediately. cold and snow disappeared at the time when winter is usually at its height. and when storräde made known that she would begin to equip her ships, the ice vanished from the fjords, the meadows became green, and although it was yet a long time to lady-day, the cattle could already be put out to grass. when the queen rowed between the rocks of east gothland into the baltic, she heard the cuckoo's song, although it was so early in the year that one could scarcely expect to hear the lark. and great joy prevailed everywhere when storräde proceeded on her way. all the trolls who had been obliged to flee from norway during king olaf's reign because they could not bear the sound of the church bells came on the rocks when they saw storräde sailing past. they pulled up young birch-trees by the roots and waved them to the queen, and then they went back to their rocky dwellings, where their wives were sitting, full of longing and anxiety, and said: 'woman, thou shalt not be cast down any longer. storräde is now sailing to king olaf. now we shall soon return to norway.' when the queen sailed past kullen, the kulla troll came out of his cave, and he made the black mountain open, so that she saw the gold and silver veins which twisted through it, and it made the queen happy to see his riches. when storräde went past the holland rivers, the nixie came down from his waterfall, swam right out to the mouth of the river, and played upon his harp, so that the ship danced upon the waves. when she sailed past the nidinge rocks, the mermen lay there and blew upon their seashell horns, and made the water splash in frothy pillars. and when the wind was against them, the most loathsome trolls came out of the deep to help storräde's ship over the waves. some lay at the stern and pushed, others took ropes of seaweed in their mouth and harnessed themselves before the ship like horses. the wild heathen, whom king olaf would not allow to remain in the country on account of their great wickedness, came rowing towards the queen's ship, with sails furled, and with their pole-axes raised as if for attack. but when they recognised the queen, they allowed her to pass unhurt, and shouted after her: 'we empty a beaker to thy wedding, storräde.' all the heathen who lived along the coast laid firewood upon their stone altars, and sacrificed both sheep and goats to the old gods, in order that they should aid storräde in her expedition to the norwegian king. when the queen sailed up the northern river, a mermaid swam alongside the ship, stretched her white arm out of the water, and gave her a large clear pearl. 'wear this, storräde,' she said; 'then king olaf will be so bewitched by thy beauty that he will never be able to forget thee.' when the queen had sailed a short distance up the river, she heard such a roar and such a rushing noise that she expected to find a waterfall. the further she proceeded, the louder grew the noise. but when she rowed past the golden isle, and passed into a broad bay, she saw at the riverside the great kungahälla. the town was so large, that as far as she could see up the river there was house after house, all imposing and well timbered, with many outhouses. narrow lanes between the gray wooden walls led down to the river; there were large courtyards before the dwelling-houses, well-laid pathways went from each house down to its boathouse and landing-stage. storräde commanded her men to row quite slowly. she herself stood on the poop of the ship and looked towards the shore. 'never before have i seen the like of this,' she said. she now understood that the roar she had heard was nothing but the noise of the work which went on at kungahälla in the spring, when the ships were being made ready for their long cruises. she heard the smiths hammering with huge sledge-hammers, the baker's shovel clattered in the ovens; beams were hoisted on to heavy lighters with much crashing noise; young men planed oars and stripped the bark from the trees which were to be used for masts. she saw green courtyards, where handmaidens were twining ropes for the seafaring men, and where old men sat mending the gray wadmal sails. she saw the boat-builders tarring the new boats. enormous nails were driven into strong oaken planks. the hulls of the ships were hauled out of the boathouses to be tightened; old ships were done up with freshly-painted dragon-heads; goods were stowed away; people took a hurried leave of each other; heavily-filled ships' chests were carried on board. ships that were ready to sail left the shore. storräde saw that the vessels rowing up the river were heavily laden with herrings and salt, but those making for the open sea were laden high up the masts with costly oak timber, hides, and skins. when the queen saw all this she laughed with joy. she thought that she would willingly marry king olaf in order to rule over such a city. storräde rowed up to the king's landing-stage. there king olaf stood ready to receive her, and when she advanced to meet him he thought that she was the fairest woman he had ever seen. they then proceeded to the king's hall, and there was great harmony and friendship between them. when they went to table storräde laughed and talked the whole time the bishop was saying grace, and the king laughed and talked also, because he saw that it pleased storräde. when the meal was finished, and they all folded their hands to listen to the bishop's prayer, storräde began to tell the king about her riches. she continued doing this as long as the prayer lasted, and the king listened to storräde, and not to the bishop. the king placed storräde in the seat of honour, whilst he sat at her feet; and storräde told him how she had caused two minor kings to be burnt to death for having had the presumption to woo her. the king was glad at hearing this, and thought that all minor kings who had the audacity to woo a woman like storräde should share the same fate. when the bells rang for evensong, the king rose to go to the marie church to pray, as was his wont. but then storräde called for her bard, and he sang the lay of brynhild budles-dotter, who caused sigurd fofnersbane to be slain; and king olaf did not go to church, but instead sat and looked into storräde's radiant eyes, under the thick, black, arched eyebrows; and he understood that storräde was brynhild, and that she would kill him if ever he forsook her. he also thought that she was no doubt a woman who would be willing to burn on the pile with him. and whilst the priests were saying mass and praying in the marie church at kungahälla, king olaf sat thinking that he would ride to valhalla with sigrid storräde before him on the horse. that night the ferryman who conveyed people over the göta river was busier than he had ever been before. time after time he was called to the other side, but when he crossed over there was never anybody to be seen. but all the same he heard steps around him, and the boat was so full that it was nearly sinking. he rowed the whole night backwards and forwards, and did not know what it could all mean. but in the morning the whole shore was full of small footprints, and in the footprints the ferryman found small withered leaves, which on closer examination proved to be pure gold, and he understood they were the brownies and dwarfs who had fled from norway when it became a christian country, and who had now come back again. and the giant who lived in the fortin mountain right to the east of kungahälla threw one big stone after the other at the marie church the whole night through; and had not the giant been so strong that all the stones went too far and fell down at hisingen, on the other side of the river, a great disaster would assuredly have happened. every morning king olaf was in the habit of going to mass, but the day storräde was at kungahälla he thought he had not the time. as soon as he arose, he at once wanted to go down to the harbour, where her ship lay, in order to ask her if she would drink the wedding-cup with him before eventide. the bishop had caused the bells to be rung the whole morning, and when the king left the king's hall, and went across the market place, the church doors were thrown open, and beautiful singing was heard from within. but the king went on as if he had not heard anything. the bishop ordered the bells to be stopped, the singing ceased, and the candles were extinguished. it all happened so suddenly that the king involuntarily stopped and looked towards the church, and it seemed to him that the church was more insignificant than he had ever before thought. it was smaller than the houses in the town; the peat roof hung heavily over its low walls without windows; the door was low, with a small projecting roof covered with fir-bark. whilst the king stood thinking, a slender young woman came out of the dark church door. she wore a red robe and a blue mantle, and she bore in her arms a child with fair locks. her dress was poor, and yet it seemed to the king that he had never before seen a more noble-looking woman. she was tall, dignified, and fair of face. the king saw with emotion that the young woman pressed the child close to her, and carried it with such care, that one could see it was the most precious thing she possessed in the world. as the woman stood in the doorway she turned her gentle face round and looked back, looked into the poor, dark little church with great longing in look and mien. when she again turned round towards the market place there were tears in her eyes. but just as she was about to step over the threshold into the market place her courage failed her. she leant against the doorposts and looked at the child with a troubled glance, as if to say: 'where in all the wide world shall we find a roof over our heads?' the king stood immovable, and looked at the homeless woman. what touched him the most was to see the child, who lay in her arms free from sorrow, stretch out his hand with a flower towards her, as if to win a smile from her. and then he saw she tried to drive away the sorrow from her face and smile at her son. 'who can that woman be?' thought the king. 'it seems to me that i have seen her before. she is undoubtedly a high-born woman who is in trouble.' however great a hurry the king was in to go to storräde, he could not take his eyes away from the woman. it seemed to him that he had seen these tender eyes and this gentle face before, but where, he could not call to mind. the woman still stood in the church door, as if she could not tear herself away. then the king went up to her and asked: 'why art thou so sorrowful?' 'i am turned out of my home,' answered the woman, pointing to the little dark church. the king thought she meant that she had taken refuge in the church because she had no other place to go to. he again asked: 'who hath turned thee out?' she looked at him with an unutterably sorrowful glance. 'dost thou not know?' she asked. but then the king turned away from her. he had no time to stand guessing riddles, he thought. it appeared as if the woman meant that it was he who had turned her out. he did not understand what she could mean. the king went on quickly. he went down to the king's landing-stage, where storräde's ship was lying. at the harbour the queen's servants met the king. their clothes were braided with gold, and they wore silver helmets on their heads. storräde stood on her ship looking towards kungahälla, rejoicing in its power and wealth. she looked at the city as if she already regarded herself as its queen. but when the king saw storräde, he thought at once of the gentle woman who, poor and sorrowful, had been turned out of the church. 'what is this?' he thought. 'it seems to me as if she were fairer than storräde.' when storräde greeted him with smiles, he thought of the tears that sparkled in the eyes of the other woman. the face of the strange woman was so clear to king olaf that he could not help comparing it, feature for feature, with storräde's. and when he did that all storräde's beauty vanished. he saw that storräde's eyes were cruel and her mouth sensual. in each of her features he saw a sin. he could still see she was beautiful, but he no longer took pleasure in her countenance. he began to loathe her as if she were a beautiful poisonous snake. when the queen saw the king come a victorious smile passed over her lips. 'i did not expect thee so early, king olaf,' she said. 'i thought thou wast at mass.' the king felt an irresistible inclination to contradict storräde, and do everything she did not want. 'mass has not yet begun,' he said. 'i have come to ask thee to go with me to the house of my god.' when the king said this he saw an angry look in storräde's eyes, but she continued to smile. 'rather come to me on my ship,' she said, 'and i will show thee the presents i have brought for thee.' she took up a sword inlaid with gold, as if to tempt him; but the king thought all the time that he could see the other woman at her side, and it appeared to him that storräde stood amongst her treasures like a foul dragon. 'answer me first,' said the king, 'if thou wilt go with me to church.' 'what have i to do in thy church?' she asked mockingly. then she saw that the king's brow darkened, and she perceived that he was not of the same mind as the day before. she immediately changed her manner, and became gentle and submissive. 'go thou to church as much as thou likest, even if i do not go. there shall be no discord between us on that account.' the queen came down from the ship and went up to the king. she held in her hand a sword and a mantle trimmed with fur which she would give him. but in the same moment the king happened to look towards the harbour. at some distance he saw the other woman; her head was bowed, and she walked with weary steps, but she still bore the child in her arms. 'what art thou looking so eagerly after, king olaf?' storräde asked. then the other woman turned round and looked at the king, and as she looked at him it appeared to him as if a ring of golden light surrounded her head and that of the child, more beautiful than the crown of any king or queen. then she immediately turned round and walked again towards the town, and he saw her no more. 'what art thou looking so eagerly after?' again asked storräde. but when king olaf now turned to the queen she appeared to him old and ugly, and full of the world's sin and wickedness, and he was terrified at the thought that he might have fallen into her snares. he had taken off his glove to give her his hand; but he now took the glove and threw it in her face instead. 'i will not own thee, foul woman and heathen dog that thou art!' he said. then storräde drew backwards. but she soon regained the command over herself, and answered: 'that blow may prove thy destruction, king olaf trygveson.' and she was white as hél when she turned away from him and went on board her ship. * * * * * next night king olaf had a strange dream. what he saw in his dream was not the earth, but the bottom of the sea. it was a grayish-green field, over which there were many fathoms of water. he saw fish swimming after their prey; he saw ships gliding past on the surface of the water, like dark clouds; and he saw the disc of the sun, dull as a pale moon. then he saw the woman he had seen at the church-door wandering along the bottom of the sea. she had the same stooping gait and the same worn garments as when he first saw her, and her face was still sorrowful. but as she wandered along the bottom of the sea the water divided before her. he saw that it rose into pillars, as if in deep reverence, forming itself into arches, so that she walked in the most glorious temple. suddenly the king saw that the water which surrounded the woman began to change colour. the pillars and the arches first became pale pink; but they soon assumed a darker colour. the whole sea around was also red, as if it had been changed into blood. at the bottom of the sea, where the woman walked, the king saw broken swords and arrows, and bows and spears in pieces. at first there were not many, but the longer she walked in the red water the more closely they were heaped together. the king saw with emotion that the woman went to one side in order not to tread upon a dead man who lay stretched upon the bed of green seaweed. the man, who had a deep cut in his head, wore a coat of mail, and had a sword in his hand. it seemed to the king that the woman closed her eyes so as not to see the dead man. she moved towards a fixed goal without hesitation or doubt. but he who dreamt could not turn his eyes away. he saw the bottom of the sea covered with wreckage. he saw heavy anchors, thick ropes twined about like snakes, ships with their sides riven asunder; golden dragon-heads from the bows of ships stared at him with red, threatening eyes. 'i should like to know who has fought a battle here and left all this as a prey to destruction,' thought the dreamer. everywhere he saw dead men. they were hanging on the ships' sides, or had sunk into the green seaweed. but he did not give himself time to look at them, for his eyes were obliged to follow the woman, who continued to walk onwards. at last the king saw her stop at the side of a dead man. he was clothed in a red mantle, had a bright helmet on his head, a shield on his arm, and a naked sword in his hand. the woman bent over him and whispered to him, as if awaking someone sleeping: 'king olaf! king olaf!' then he who was dreaming saw that the man at the bottom of the sea was himself. he could distinctly see that he was the dead man. as the dead did not move, the woman knelt by his side and whispered into his ear: 'now storräde hath sent her fleet against thee and avenged herself. dost thou repent what thou hast done, king olaf?' and again she asked: 'now thou sufferest the bitterness of death because thou hast chosen me instead of storräde. dost thou repent? dost thou repent?' then at last the dead opened his eyes, and the woman helped him to rise. he leant upon her shoulder, and she walked slowly away with him. again king olaf saw her wander and wander, through night and day, over sea and land. at last it seemed to him that they had gone further than the clouds and higher than the stars. now they entered a garden, where the earth shone as light and the flowers were clear as dewdrops. the king saw that when the woman entered the garden she raised her head, and her step grew lighter. when they had gone a little further into the garden her garments began to shine. he saw that they became, as of themselves, bordered with golden braid, and coloured with the hues of the rainbow. he saw also that a halo surrounded her head that cast a light over her countenance. but the slain man who leant upon her shoulder raised his head, and asked: 'who art thou?' 'dost thou not know, king olaf?' she answered; and an infinite majesty and glory encompassed her. but in the dream king olaf was filled with a great joy because he had chosen to serve the gentle queen of heaven. it was a joy so great that he had never before felt the like of it, and it was so strong that it awoke him. * * * * * when king olaf awoke his face was bathed in tears, and he lay with his hands folded in prayer. astrid i in the midst of the low buildings forming the old castle of the kings at upsala towered the ladies' bower. it was built on poles, like a dovecote. the staircase leading up to it was as steep as a ladder, and one entered it by a very low door. the walls inside were covered with runes, signifying love and longing; the sills of the small loopholes were worn by the maidens leaning on their elbows and looking down into the courtyard. old hjalte, the bard, had been a guest at the king's castle for some time, and he went up every day to the ladies' bower to see princess ingegerd, and talk with her about olaf haraldsson, the king of norway, and every time hjalte came ingegerd's bondwoman astrid sat and listened to his words with as much pleasure as the princess. and whilst hjalte talked, both the maidens listened so eagerly that they let their hands fall in their laps and their work rest. anyone seeing them would not think much spinning or weaving could be done in the ladies' bower. no one would have thought that they gathered all hjalte's words as if they were silken threads, and that each of his listeners made from them her own picture of king olaf. no one could know that in their thoughts they wove the bard's words each into her own radiant picture. but so it was. and the princess's picture was so beautiful that every time she saw it before her she felt as if she must fall on her knees and worship it. for she saw the king sitting on his throne, crowned and great; she saw a red, gold-embroidered mantle hanging from his shoulders to his feet. she saw no sword in his hand, but holy writings; and she also saw that his throne was supported by a chained troll. his face shone for her, white like wax, surrounded by long, soft locks, and his eyes beamed with piety and peace. oh, she became nearly afraid when she saw the almost superhuman strength that shone from that pale face. she understood that king olaf was not only a king, she saw that he was a saint, and the equal of the angels. but quite different was the picture which astrid had made of the king. the fair-haired bondwoman, who had experienced both hunger and cold and suffered much hardship, but who all the same was the one who filled the ladies' bower with merriment and laughter, had in her mind an entirely different picture of the king. she could not help that every time she heard him spoken about she saw before her the wood-cutter's son who at eventide came out of the wood with the axe over his shoulder. 'i can see thee--i can see thee so well,' astrid said to the picture, as if it were a living being. 'tall thou art not, but broad of shoulders and light and agile, and because thou hast walked about in the dark forest the whole long summer day thou takest the last few steps in one spring, and laughest when thou reachest the road. then thy white teeth shine, and thy hair flies about, and that i love to see. i can see thee; thou hast a fair, ruddy face and freckles on thy nose, and thou hast blue eyes, which become dark and stern in the deep forest; but when thou comest so far that thou seest the valley and thy home, they become light and gentle. as soon as thou seest thine own hut down in the valley, thou raisest thy cap for a greeting, and then i see thy forehead. is not that forehead befitting a king? should not that broad forehead be able to wear both crown and helmet?' but however different these two pictures were, one thing is certain: just as much as the princess loved the holy picture she had conjured forth, so did the poor bondwoman love the bold swain whom she saw coming from the depths of the forest to meet her. and had hjalte the bard been able to see these pictures he would have assuredly praised them both. he would assuredly have said that they both were like the king. for that is king olaf's good fortune, he would have been sure to say, that he is a fresh and merry swain at the same time that he is god's holy warrior. for old hjalte loved king olaf, and although he had wandered from court to court he had never been able to find his equal. 'where can i find anyone to make me forget olaf haraldsson?' he was wont to say. 'where shall i find a greater hero?' hjalte the bard was a rough old man and severe of countenance. old as he was, his hair was still black, he was dark of complexion, and his eyes were keen, and his song had always tallied with his appearance. his tongue never uttered other words than those of strife; he had never made other lays than songs of war. old hjalte's heart had hitherto been like the stony waste outside the wood-cutter's hut; it had been like a rocky plain, where only poor ferns and dry mugworts could grow. but now hjalte's roving life had brought him to the court at upsala, and he had seen the princess ingegerd. he had seen that she was the noblest of all the women he had met in his life--in truth, the princess was just as much fairer than all other women as king olaf was greater than all other men. then the thought suddenly arose within hjalte that he would try to awaken love between the swedish princess and the norwegian king. he asked himself why she, who was the best amongst women, should not be able to love king olaf, the most glorious amongst men? and after that thought had taken root in hjalte's heart he gave up making his stern war-songs. he gave up trying to win praise and honour from the rough warriors at the court of upsala, and sat for many hours with the women in the ladies' bower, and one would never have thought that it was hjalte who spoke. one would never have believed that he possessed such soft and fair and gentle words which he now used in speaking about king olaf. no one would have known hjalte again; he was entirely transformed ever since the thought of the marriage had arisen within him. when the beautiful thought took root in hjalte's soul, it was as if a blushing rose, with soft and fragrant petals, had sprung up in the midst of a wilderness. * * * * * one day hjalte sat with the princess in the ladies' bower. all the maidens were absent except astrid. hjalte thought that now he had spoken long enough about olaf haraldsson. he had said all the fair words he could about him, but had it been of any avail? what did the princess think of the king? then he began to lay snares for the princess to find out what she thought of king olaf. 'i can see from a look or a blush,' he thought. but the princess was a high-born lady; she knew how to conceal her thoughts. she neither blushed nor smiled, neither did her eyes betray her. she would not let hjalte divine what she thought. when the bard looked into her noble face he was ashamed of himself. 'she is too good for anyone to take her by stealth,' he said; 'one must meet her in open warfare.' so hjalte said straight out: 'daughter of a king, if olaf haraldsson asked thee in marriage of thy father, what wouldst thou answer?' then the young princess's face lit up, as does the face of a man when he reaches the mountain-top and discovers the ocean. without hesitation she replied at once: 'if he be such a king and such a christian as thou sayest, hjalte, then i consider it would be a great happiness.' but scarcely had she said this before the light faded from her eyes. it was as if a cloud rose between her and the beautiful far-off vision. 'oh, hjalte,' she said, 'thou forgettest one thing. king olaf is our enemy. it is war and not wooing we may expect from him.' 'do not let that trouble thee,' said hjalte. 'if thou only wilt, all is well. i know king olaf's mind in this matter.' the bard was so glad that he laughed when he said this; but the princess grew more and more sorrowful. 'no,' she said, 'neither upon me nor king olaf does it depend, but upon my father, oluf skötkonung, and you know that he hates olaf haraldsson, and cannot bear that anyone should even mention his name. never will he let me leave my father's house with an enemy; never will he give his daughter to olaf haraldsson.' when the princess had said this, she laid aside all her pride and began to lament her fate. 'of what good is it that i have now learnt to know olaf haraldsson,' she said, 'that i dream of him every night, and long for him every day? would it not have been better if thou hadst never come hither and told me about him?' when the princess had spoken these words, her eyes filled with tears; but when hjalte saw her tears, he lifted his hand fervent and eager. 'god wills it,' he cried. 'ye belong to one another. strife must exchange its red mantle for the white robe of peace, that your happiness may give joy unto the earth.' when hjalte had said this, the princess bowed her head before god's holy name, and when she raised it, it was with a newly awakened hope. * * * * * when old hjalte stepped through the low door of the ladies' bower, and went down the narrow open corridor, astrid followed him. 'hjalte,' she cried, 'why dost thou not ask me what i would answer if olaf haraldsson asked for my hand?' it was the first time astrid had spoken to hjalte; but hjalte only cast a hurried glance at the fair bondwoman, whose golden hair curled on her temples and neck, who had the broadest bracelets and the heaviest ear-rings, whose dress was fastened with silken cords, and whose bodice was so embroidered with pearls that it was as stiff as armour, and went on without answering. 'why dost thou only ask princess ingegerd?' continued astrid. 'why dost thou not also ask me? dost thou not know that i, too, am the svea-king's daughter? dost thou not know,' she continued, when hjalte did not answer, 'that although my mother was a bondwoman, she was the bride of the king's youth? dost thou not know that whilst she lived no one dared to remind her of her birth? oh, hjalte, dost thou not know that it was only after she was dead, when the king had taken to himself a queen, that everyone remembered that she was a bondwoman? it was first after i had a stepmother that the king began to think i was not of free birth. but am i not a king's daughter, hjalte, even if my father counts me for so little, that he has allowed me to fall into bondage? am i not a king's daughter, even if my stepmother allowed me to go in rags, whilst my sister went in cloth of gold? am i not a king's daughter, even if my stepmother has allowed me to tend the geese and taste the whip of the slave? and if i am a king's daughter, why dost thou not ask me whether i will wed olaf haraldsson? see, i have golden hair that shines round my head like the sun. see, i have sparkling eyes; i have roses in my cheeks. why should not king olaf woo me?' she followed hjalte across the courtyard all the way to the king's hall; but hjalte took no more heed of her words than a warrior clad in armour heeds a boy throwing stones. he took no more notice of her words than if she had been a chattering magpie in the top of a tree. * * * * * no one must think that hjalte contented himself with having won ingegerd for his king. the next day the old icelander summoned up his courage and spoke to oluf skötkonung about olaf haraldsson. but he hardly had time to say a word; the king interrupted him as soon as he mentioned the name of his foe. hjalte saw that the princess was right. he thought he had never before seen such bitter hatred. 'but that marriage will take place all the same,' said hjalte. 'it is the will of god--the will of god.' and it really seemed as if hjalte were right. two or three days later a messenger came from king olaf of norway to make peace with the swedes. hjalte sought the messenger, and told him that peace between the two countries could be most firmly established by a marriage taking place between princess ingegerd and olaf haraldsson. the king's messenger hardly thought that old hjalte was the man to incline a young maiden's heart to a stranger; but he thought, all the same, that the plan was a good one; and he promised hjalte that he would lay the proposal of the marriage before king oluf skötkonung at the great winter ting. immediately afterwards hjalte left upsala. he went from farm to farm on the great plain; he went far into the forests; he went even to the borders of the sea. he never met either man or woman without speaking to them about olaf haraldsson and princess ingegerd. 'hast thou ever heard of a greater man or of a fairer woman?' he said. 'it is assuredly the will of god that they shall wander through life together.' hjalte came upon old vikings, who wintered at the seashore, and who had formerly carried off women from every coast. he talked to them about the beautiful princess until they sprang up and promised him, with their hand on the hilt of their sword, that they would do what they could to help her to happiness. hjalte went to stubborn old peasants who had never listened to the prayers of their own daughters, but had given them in marriage as shrewdness, family honour, and advantage required, and he spoke to them so wisely about the peace between the two countries and the marriage that they swore they would rather deprive the king of his kingdom than that this marriage should not come to pass. but to the young women hjalte spoke so many good words about olaf haraldsson that they vowed they would never look with kindly eyes at the swain who did not stand by the norwegian king's messenger at the ting and help to break down the king's opposition. thus hjalte went about talking to people until the winter ting should assemble, and all the people, along snow-covered roads, proceeded to the great ting hills at upsala. when the ting was opened, the eagerness of the people was so great that it seemed as if the stars would fall down from the sky were this marriage not decided upon. and although the king twice roughly said 'no' both to the peace and to the wooing, it was of no avail. it was of no avail that he would not hear the name of king olaf mentioned. the people only shouted: 'we will not have war with norway. we will that these two, who by all are accounted the greatest, shall wander through life together.' what could old oluf skötkonung do when the people rose against him with threats, strong words, and clashing of shields? what was he to do when he saw nothing but swords lifted and angry men before him? was he not compelled to promise his daughter away if he would keep his life and his crown? must he not swear to send the princess to kungahälla next summer to meet king olaf there? in this way the whole people helped to further ingegerd's love. but no one helped astrid to the attainment of her happiness; no one asked her about her love. and yet it lived--it lived like the child of the poor fisherman's widow, in want and need; but all the same it grew, happily and hopefully. it grew and thrived, for in astrid's soul there were, as at the sea, fresh air and light and breezy waves. ii in the rich city of kungahälla, far away at the border, was the old castle of the kings. it was surrounded by green ramparts. huge stones stood as sentinels outside the gates, and in the courtyard grew an oak large enough to shelter under its branches all the king's henchmen. the whole space inside the ramparts was covered with long, low wooden houses. they were so old that grass grew on the ridges of the roofs. the beams in the walls were made from the thickest trees of the forest, silver-white with age. in the beginning of the summer olaf haraldsson came to kungahälla, and he gathered together in the castle everything necessary for the celebration of his marriage. for several weeks peasants came crowding up the long street, bringing gifts: butter in tubs, cheese in sacks, hops and salt, roots and flour. after the gifts had been brought to the castle, there was a continual procession of wedding guests through the street. there were great men and women on side-saddles, with a numerous retinue of servants and serfs. then came hosts of players and singers, and the reciters of the sagas. merchants came all the way from venderland and gardarike, to tempt the king with bridal gifts. when these processions for two whole weeks had filled the town with noise and bustle they only awaited the last procession, the bride's. but the bridal procession was long in coming. every day they expected that she would come ashore at the king's landing-stage, and from there, headed by drum and fife, and followed by merry swains and serious priests, proceed up the street to the king's castle. but the bride's procession came not. when the bride was so long in coming, everybody looked at king olaf to see if he were uneasy. but the king always showed an undisturbed face. 'if it be the will of god,' the king said, 'that i shall possess this fair woman, she will assuredly come.' and the king waited, whilst the grass fell for the scythe, and the cornflowers blossomed in the rye. the king still waited when the flax was pulled up, and the hops ripened on the poles. he was still waiting, when the bramble blackened on the mountain-side, and the nip reddened on the naked branch of the hawthorn. * * * * * hjalte had spent the whole summer at kungahälla waiting for the marriage. no one awaited the arrival of the princess more eagerly than he did. he assuredly awaited her with greater longing and anxiety than even king olaf himself. hjalte no longer felt at his ease with the warriors in the king's hall. but lower down the river there was a landing-stage where the women of kungahälla were wont to assemble to see the last of their husbands and sons, when they sailed for distant lands. here they were also in the habit of gathering during the summer, to watch for the vessels coming up the river, and to weep over those who had departed. to that bridge hjalte wended his way every day. he liked best to be amongst those who longed and sorrowed. never had any of the women who sat waiting at weeping bridge gazed down the river with more anxious look than did hjalte the bard. no one looked more eagerly at every approaching sail. sometimes hjalte stole away to the marie church. he never prayed for anything for himself. he only came to remind the saints about this marriage, which must come to pass, which god himself had willed. most of all hjalte liked to speak with king olaf haraldsson alone. it was his greatest happiness to sit and tell him of every word that had fallen from the lips of the king's daughter. he described her every feature. 'king olaf,' he said to him, 'pray to god that she may come to thee. every day i see thee warring against ancient heathendom which hides like an owl in the darkness of the forest, and in the mountain-clefts. but the falcon, king olaf, will never be able to overcome the owl. only a dove can do that, only a dove.' the bard asked the king whether it was not his desire to vanquish all his enemies. was it not his intention to be alone master in the land? but in that he would never succeed. he would never succeed until he had won the crown which hjalte had chosen for him, a crown so resplendent with brightness and glory that everyone must bow before him who owned it. and last of all he asked the king if he were desirous of gaining the mastery over himself. but he would never succeed in overcoming the wilfulness of his own heart if he did not win a shield which hjalte had seen in the ladies' bower at the king's castle at upsala. it was a shield from which shone the purity of heaven. it was a shield which protected from all sin and the lusts of the flesh. * * * * * but harvest came and they were still waiting for the princess. one after the other the great men who had come to kungahälla for the marriage festivities were obliged to depart. the last to take his leave was old hjalte the bard. it was with a heavy heart he set sail, but he was obliged to return to his home in distant iceland before christmas came. old hjalte had not gone further than the rocky islands outside the mouth of the northern river before he met a galley. he immediately ordered his men to stop rowing. at the first glance he recognised the dragon-headed ship belonging to princess ingegerd. without hesitation hjalte told his men to row him to the galley. he gave up his place at the rudder to another, and placed himself with joyous face at the prow of the boat. 'it will make me happy to behold the fair maiden once more,' the bard said. 'it gladdens my heart that her gentle face will be the last i shall see before sailing for iceland.' all the wrinkles had disappeared from hjalte's face when he went on board the dragon-ship. he greeted the brave lads who plied the oars as friendlily as if they were his comrades, and he handed a golden ring to the maiden, who, with much deference, conducted him to the women's tent in the stern of the ship. hjalte's hand trembled when he lifted the hangings that covered the entrance to the tent. he thought this was the most beautiful moment of his life. 'never have i fought for a greater cause,' he said. 'never have i longed so eagerly for anything as this marriage.' but when hjalte entered the tent, he drew back a step in great consternation. his face expressed the utmost confusion. he saw a tall, beautiful woman. she advanced to meet him with outstretched hand. but the woman was not ingegerd. hjalte's eyes looked searchingly round the narrow tent to find the princess. he certainly saw that the woman who stood before him was a king's daughter. only the daughter of a king could look at him with such a proud glance, and greet him with such dignity. and she wore the band of royalty on her forehead, and was attired like a queen. but why was she not ingegerd? hjalte angrily asked the strange woman: 'who art thou?' 'dost thou not know me, hjalte? i am the king's daughter, to whom thou hast spoken about olaf haraldsson.' 'i have spoken with a king's daughter about olaf haraldsson, but her name was ingegerd.' 'ingegerd is also my name.' 'thy name can be what thou likest, but thou art not the princess. what is the meaning of all this? will the svea-king deceive king olaf?' 'he will not by any means deceive him. he sends him his daughter as he has promised.' hjalte was not far from drawing his sword to slay the strange woman. he had his hand already on the hilt, but he bethought himself it was not befitting a warrior to take the life of a woman. but he would not waste more words over this impostor. he turned round to go. the stranger with gentle voice called him back. 'where art thou going, hjalte? dost thou intend to go to kungahälla to report this to olaf haraldsson?' 'that is my intention,' answered hjalte, without looking at her. 'why, then, dost thou leave me, hjalte? why dost thou not remain with me? i, too, am going to kungahälla.' hjalte now turned round and looked at her. 'hast thou, then, no pity for an old man?' he said. 'i tell thee that my whole mind is set upon this marriage. let me hear the full measure of my misfortune. is princess ingegerd not coming?' then the princess gave over fooling hjalte. 'come into my tent and sit down,' she said, 'and i will tell thee all that thou wouldest know. i see it is of no use to hide the truth from thee.' then she began to tell him everything: 'the summer was already drawing to a close. the blackcock's lively young ones had already strong feathers in their cloven tails and firmness in their rounded wings; they had already begun to flutter about amongst the close branches of the pine-forest with quick, noisy strokes. 'it happened one morning that the svea-king came riding across the plain; he was returning from a successful chase. there hung from the pommel of his saddle a shining blue-black blackcock, a tough old fellow, with red eyebrows, as well as four of his half-grown young ones, which on account of their youth were still garbed in many-coloured hues. and the king was very proud; he thought it was not every man's luck to make such a bag with falcon and hawk in one morning. 'but that morning princess ingegerd and her maidens stood at the gates of the castle waiting for the king. and amongst the maidens was one, astrid by name; she was the daughter of the svea-king just as much as ingegerd, although her mother was not a free woman, and she was therefore treated as a bondmaiden. and this young maiden stood and showed her sister how the swallows gathered in the fields and chose the leaders for their long journey. she reminded her that the summer was soon over--the summer that should have witnessed the marriage of ingegerd--and urged her to ask the king why she might not set out on her journey to king olaf; for astrid wished to accompany her sister on the journey. she thought that if she could but once see olaf haraldsson, she would have pleasure from it all her life. 'but when the svea-king saw the princess, he rode up to her. '"look, ingegerd," he said, "here are five blackcocks hanging from my saddle. in one morning i have killed five blackcocks. who dost thou think can boast of better luck? have you ever heard of a king making a better capture?" 'but then the princess was angered that he who barred the way for her happiness should come so proudly and praise his own good luck. and to make an end of the uncertainty that had tormented her for so many weeks, she replied: '"thou, father, hast with great honour killed five blackcocks, but i know of a king who in one morning captured five other kings, and that was olaf haraldsson, the hero whom thou hast selected to be my husband." 'then the svea-king sprang off his horse in great fury, and advanced towards the princess with clenched hands. '"what troll hath bewitched thee?" he asked. "what herb hath poisoned thee? how hath thy mind been turned to this man?" 'ingegerd did not answer; she drew back, frightened. then the king became quieter. '"fair daughter," he said to her, "dost thou not know how dear thou art to me? how should i, then, give thee to one whom i cannot endure? i should like my best wishes to go with thee on thy journey. i should like to sit as guest in thy hall. i tell thee thou must turn thy mind to the kings of other lands, for norway's king shall never own thee." 'at these words the princess became so confused that she could find no other words than these with which to answer the king: '"i did not ask thee; it was the will of the people." 'the king then asked her if she thought that the svea-king was a slave, who could not dispose of his own offspring, or if there were a master over him who had the right to give away his daughters. '"will the svea-king be content to hear himself called a breaker of oaths?" asked the princess. 'then the svea-king laughed aloud. '"do not let that trouble thee. no one shall call me that. why dost thou question about this, thou who art a woman? there are still men in my council; they will find a way out of it." 'then the king turned towards his henchmen who had been with him to the chase. '"my will is bound by this promise," he said to them. "how shall i be released from it?" 'but none of the king's men answered a word; no one knew how to counsel him. 'then oluf skötkonung became very wrath; he became like a madman. '"so much for your wisdom," he shouted again and again to his men. "i will be free. why do people laud your wisdom?" 'whilst the king raged and shouted, and no one knew how to answer him, the maiden astrid stepped forward from amongst the other women and made a proposal. 'hjalte must really believe her when she told him that it was only because she found it so amusing that she could not help saying it, and not in the least because she thought it could really be done. '"why dost thou not send me?" she had said. "i am also thy daughter. why dost thou not send me to the norwegian king?" 'but when ingegerd heard astrid say these words, she grew pale. '"be silent, and go thy way!" she said angrily. "go thy way, thou tattler, thou deceitful, wicked thing, to propose such a shameful thing to my father!" 'but the king would not allow astrid to go. on the contrary! on the contrary! he stretched out his arms and drew her to his breast. he both laughed and cried, and was as wild with joy as a child. '"oh," he shouted, "what an idea! what a heathenish trick! let us call astrid ingegerd, and entrap the king of norway into marrying her. and afterwards when the rumour gets abroad that she is born of a bondwoman, many will rejoice in their hearts, and olaf haraldsson will be held in scorn and derision." 'but then ingegerd went up to the king, and prayed: "oh, father, father! do not do this thing. king olaf is dear at heart to me. surely thou wilt not grieve me by thus deceiving him." 'and she added that she would patiently do the bidding of her royal father, and give up all thought of marriage with olaf haraldsson, if he would only promise not to do him this injury. 'but the svea-king would not listen to her prayers. he turned to astrid and caressed her, just as if she were as beautiful as revenge itself. '"thou shalt go! thou shalt go soon--to-morrow!" he said. "all thy dowry, thy clothes, my dear daughter, and thy retinue, can all be collected in great haste. the norwegian king will not think of such things; he is too taken up with joy at the thought of possessing the high-born daughter of the svea-king." 'then ingegerd understood that she could hope for no mercy. and she went up to her sister, put her arm round her neck, and conducted her to the hall. here she placed her in her own seat of honour, whilst she herself sat down on a low stool at her feet. and she said to astrid that from henceforth she must sit there, in order to accustom herself to the place she should take as queen. for ingegerd did not wish that king olaf should have any occasion to be ashamed of his queen. 'then the princess sent her maidens to the wardrobes and the pantries to fetch the dowry she had chosen for herself. and she gave everything to her sister, so that astrid should not come to norway's king as a poor bondwoman. she had also settled which of the serfs and maidens should accompany astrid, and at last she made her a present of her own splendid galley. '"thou shalt certainly have my galley," she said. "thou knowest there are many good men at the oars. for it is my will that thou shalt come well dowered to norway's king, so that he may feel honoured with his queen." 'and afterwards the princess had sat a long time with her sister, and spoken with her about king olaf. but she had spoken of him as one speaks of the saints of god, and not of kings, and astrid had not understood many of her words. but this much she did understand--that the king's daughter wished to give astrid all the good thoughts that dwelt in her own heart, in order that king olaf might not be so disappointed as her father wished. and then astrid, who was not so bad as people thought her, forgot how often she had suffered for her sister's sake, and she wished that she had been able to say, "i will not go!" she had also spoken to her sister about this wish, and they had cried together, and for the first time felt like sisters. 'but it was not astrid's nature to allow herself to be weighed down by sorrow and scruples. by the time she was out at sea she had forgotten all her sorrow and fear. she travelled as a princess, and was waited upon as a princess. for the first time since her mother's death she was happy.' when the king's beautiful daughter had told hjalte all this she was silent for a moment, and looked at him. hjalte had sat immovable whilst she was speaking, but the king's daughter grew pale when she saw the pain his face betrayed. 'tell me what thou thinkest, hjalte,' she exclaimed. 'now, we are soon at kungahälla. how shall i fare there? will the king slay me? will he brand me with red-hot irons, and send me back again? tell me the truth, hjalte.' but hjalte did not answer. he sat and talked to himself without knowing it. astrid heard him murmur that at kungahälla no one knew ingegerd, and that he himself had but little inclination to turn back. but now hjalte's moody face fell upon astrid, and he began to question her. she had wished, had she not, that she could have said 'no' to this journey. when she came to kungahälla, the choice lay before her. what did she, then, mean to do! would she tell king olaf who she was? this question caused astrid not a little embarrassment. she was silent for a long while, but then she began to beg hjalte to go with her to kungahälla and tell the king the truth. she told hjalte that her maidens and the men on board her ship had been bound to silence. 'and what i shall do myself i do not know,' she said. 'how can i know that? i have heard all thou hast told ingegerd about olaf haraldsson.' when astrid said this she saw that hjalte was again lost in thought. she heard him mutter to himself that he did not think she would confess how things were. 'but i must all the same tell her what awaits her,' he said. then hjalte rose, and spoke to her with the utmost gravity. 'let me tell thee yet another story, astrid, about king olaf, which i have not told thee before: 'it was at the time when king olaf was a poor sea-king, when he only possessed a few good ships and some faithful warriors, but none of his forefathers' land. it was at the time when he fought with honour on distant seas, chastised vikings and protected merchants, and aided christian princes with his sword. 'the king had a dream that one night an angel of god descended to his ship, set all the sails, and steered for the north. and it seemed to the king that they had not sailed for a longer time than it takes the dawn to extinguish a star before they came to a steep and rocky shore, cut up by narrow fjords and bordered with milk-white breakers. but when they reached the shore the angel stretched out his hand, and spoke in his silvery voice. it rang through the wind, which whistled in the sails, and through the waves surging round the keel. '"thou, king olaf," were the angel's words, "shalt possess this land for all time." 'and when the angel had said this the dream was over.' hjalte now tried to explain to astrid that like as the dawn tempers the transition from dark night to sunny day, so god had not willed that king olaf should at once understand that the dream foretold him of superhuman honour. the king had not understood that it was the will of god that he from a heavenly throne should reign forever and ever over norway's land, that kings should reign and kings should pass away, but holy king olaf should continue to rule his kingdom for ever. the king's humility did not let him see the heavenly message in its fulness of light, and he understood the words of the angel thus--that he and his seed should forever rule over the land the angel had shown him. and inasmuch as he thought he recognised in this land the kingdom of his forefathers, he steered his course for norway, and, fortune helping him, he soon became king of that land. 'and thus it is still, astrid. although everything indicates that in king olaf dwells a heavenly strength, he himself is still in doubt, and thinks that he is only called to be an earthly king. he does not yet stretch forth his hand for the crown of the saints. but now the time cannot be far distant when he must fully realize his mission. it cannot be far distant.' and old hjalte went on speaking, whilst the light of the seer shone in his soul and on his brow. 'is there any other woman but ingegerd who would not be rejected by olaf haraldsson and driven from his side when he fully understands the words of the angel, that he shall be norway's king for all time? is there anyone who can, then, follow him in his holy walk except ingegerd?' and again hjalte turned to astrid and asked with great severity: 'answer me now and tell me whether thou wilt speak the truth to king olaf?' astrid was now sore afraid. she answered humbly: 'why wilt thou not go with me to kungahälla? then i shall be compelled to tell everything. canst thou not see, hjalte, that i do not know myself what i shall do? if it were my intention to deceive the king, could i not promise thee all thou wishest? all that i needed was to persuade thee to go on thy way. but i am weak; i only asked thee to go with me.' but hardly had she said this before she saw hjalte's face glow with fierce wrath. 'why should i help thee to escape the fate that awaits thee?' he asked. and then he said that he did not think he had any cause to show her mercy. he hated her for having sinned against her sister. the man that she would steal, thief as she was, belonged to ingegerd. even a hardened warrior like hjalte must groan with pain when he thought of how ingegerd had suffered. but astrid had felt nothing. in the midst of all that young maiden's sorrow she had come with wicked and cruel cunning, and had only sought her own happiness. woe unto astrid! woe unto her! hjalte had lowered his voice; it became heavy and dull; it sounded to astrid as if he were murmuring an incantation. 'it is thou,' he said to her, 'who hast destroyed my most beautiful song.' for the most beautiful song hjalte had made was the one in which he had joined the most pious of all women with the greatest of all men. 'but thou hast spoiled my song,' he said, 'and made a mockery of it; and i will punish thee, thou child of hél. i will punish thee; as the lord punisheth the tempter who brought sin into his world, i will punish thee. but do not ask me,' he continued, 'to protect thee against thine own self. i remember the princess, and how she must suffer through the trick thou playest on king olaf. for her sake thou shalt be punished, just as much as for mine. i will not go with thee to betray thee. that is my revenge, astrid. i will not betray thee. go thou to kungahälla, astrid; and if thou dost not speak of thine own accord, thou wilt become the king's bride. but then, thou serpent, punishment shall overtake thee! i know king olaf, and i know thee. thy life shall be such a burden that thou wilt wish for death every day that passes.' when hjalte had said this he turned away from her and went his way. astrid sat a long time silent, thinking of what she had heard. but then a smile came over her face. he forgot, did old hjalte, that she had suffered many trials, that she had learnt to laugh at pain. but happiness, happiness, that she had never tried. and astrid rose and went to the opening of the tent. she saw the angry bard's ship. she thought that far, far away she could see iceland, shrouded in mist, welcoming her much-travelled son with cold and darkness. iii a sunny day late in the harvest, not a cloud in the sky; a day when one thinks the fair sun will give to the earth all the light she possesses! the fair sun is like a mother whose son is about to set out for a far-off land, and who, in the hour of the leave-taking, cannot take her eyes from the beloved. in the long valley where kungahälla lies there is a row of small hills covered with beech-wood. and now at harvest-time the trees have garbed themselves in such splendid raiment that one's heart is gladdened. one would almost think that the trees were going a-wooing. it looks as if they had clothed themselves in gold and scarlet to win a rich bride by their splendour. the large island of hisingen, on the other side of the river, had also adorned itself. but hisingen is covered with golden-white birch-trees. at hisingen the trees are clad in light colours, as if they are little maidens in bridal attire. but up the river, which comes rushing down towards the ocean as proudly and wildly as if the harvest rain had filled it with frothy wine, there passes the one ship after the other, rowing homewards. and when the ships approach kungahälla they hoist new white sails, instead of the old ones of gray wadmal; and one cannot help thinking of old fairy-tales of kings' sons who go out seeking adventures clothed in rags, but who throw them off when they again enter the king's lofty hall. but all the people of kungahälla have assembled at the landing-stages. old and young are busy unloading goods from the ships. they fill the storehouses with salt and train-oil, with costly weapons, and many-coloured rugs. they haul large and small vessels on to land, they question the returned seamen about their voyage. but suddenly all work ceases, and every eye is turned towards the river. right between the big merchant vessels a large galley is making its way, and people ask each other in astonishment who it can be that carries sails striped with purple and a golden device on the prow; they wonder what kind of ship it can be that comes flying over the waves like a bird. they praise the oarsmen, who handle the oars so evenly that they flash along the sides of the ship like an eagle's wings. 'it must be the swedish princess who is coming,' they say. 'it must be the beautiful princess ingegerd, for whom olaf haraldsson has been waiting the whole summer and harvest.' and the women hasten down to the riverside to see the princess when she rows past them on her way to the king's landing-stage. men and boys run to the ships, or climb the roofs of the boathouses. when the women see the princess standing in gorgeous apparel, they begin to shout to her, and to greet her with words of welcome; and every man who sees her radiant face tears his cap from his head and swings it high in the air. but on the king's landing-stage stands king olaf himself, and when he sees the princess his face beams with gladness, and his eyes light up with tender love. and as it is now so late in the year that all the flowers are faded, the young maidens pluck the golden-red autumnal leaves from the trees and strew them on the bridge and in the street; and they hasten to deck their houses with the bright berries of the mountain-ash and the dark-red leaves of the poplar. the princess, who stands high on the ship, sees the people waving and greeting her in welcome. she sees the golden-red leaves over which she shall walk, and foremost on the landing-stage she sees the king awaiting her with smiles. and the princess forgets everything she would have said and confessed. she forgets that she is not ingegerd, she forgets everything except the one thing, that she is to be the wife of olaf haraldsson. * * * * * one sunday olaf haraldsson was seated at table, and his beautiful queen sat by his side. he was talking eagerly with her, resting his elbow on the table, and turning towards her, so that he could see her face. but when astrid spoke the king lowered his eyes in order not to think of anything but her lovely voice, and when she had been speaking for a long time he began to cut the table with his knife without thinking of what he was doing. all king olaf's men knew that he would not have done this if he had remembered that it was sunday; but they had far too great a respect for king olaf to venture to remind him that he was committing a sin. the longer astrid talked, the more uneasy became his henchmen. the queen saw that they exchanged troubled glances with each other, but she did not understand what was the matter. all had finished eating, and the food had been removed, but king olaf still sat and talked with astrid and cut the top of the table. a whole little heap of chips lay in front of him. then at last his friend björn, the son of ogur from selö, spoke. 'what day is it to-morrow, eilif?' he asked, turning to one of the torch-bearers. 'to-morrow is monday,' answered eilif in a loud and clear voice. then the king lifted his head and looked up at eilif. 'dost thou say that to-morrow is monday?' he asked thoughtfully. without saying another word, the king gathered up all the chips he had cut off the table into his hand, went to the fireplace, seized a burning coal, and laid it on the chips, which soon caught fire. the king stood quite still and let them burn to ashes in his hand. then all the henchmen rejoiced, but the young queen grew pale as death. 'what sentence will he pronounce over me when he one day finds out my sin,' she thought, 'he who punishes himself so hardly for so slight an offence?' * * * * * agge from gardarike lay sick on board his galley in kungahälla harbour. he was lying in the narrow hold awaiting death. he had been suffering for a long time from pains in his foot, and now there was an open sore, and in the course of the last few hours it had begun to turn black. 'thou needest not die, agge,' said lodulf from kunghälla, who had come on board to see his sick friend. 'dost thou not know that king olaf is here in the town, and that god, on account of his piety and holiness, has given him power to heal the sick? send a message to him and ask him to come and lay his hand upon thee, and thou wilt recover.' 'no, i cannot ask help from him,' answered agge. 'olaf haraldsson hates me because i have slain his foster-brother, reor the white. if he knew that my ship lay in the harbour, he would send his men to kill me.' but when lodulf had left agge and gone into the town, he met the young queen, who had been in the forest gathering nuts. 'queen,' lodulf cried to her, 'say this to king olaf: "agge from gardarike, who has slain thy foster-brother, lies at the point of death on his ship in the harbour."' the young queen hastened home and went immediately up to king olaf, who stood in the courtyard smoothing the mane of his horse. 'rejoice, king olaf!' she said. 'agge from gardarike, who slew thy foster-brother, lies sick on his ship in the harbour and is near death.' olaf haraldsson at once led his horse into the stable; then he went out without sword or helmet. he went quickly down one of the narrow lanes between the houses until he reached the harbour. there he found the ship which belonged to agge. the king was at the side of the sick man before agge's men thought of stopping him. 'agge,' said king olaf, 'many a time i have pursued thee on the sea, and thou hast always escaped me. now thou hast been struck down with sickness here in my city. this is a sign to me that god hath given thy life into my hands.' agge made no answer. he was utterly feeble, and death was very near. olaf haraldsson laid his hands upon his breast and prayed to god. 'give me the life of this mine enemy,' he said. but the queen, who had seen the king hasten down to the harbour without helmet and sword, went into the hall, fetched his weapons and called for some of his men. then she hurried after him down to the ship. but when she stood outside the narrow hold, she heard king olaf praying for the sick man. astrid looked in and saw the king and agge without betraying her presence. she saw that whilst the king's hands rested upon the forehead and breast of the dying man, the deathly pallor vanished from his face; he began to breathe lightly and quietly; he ceased moaning, and at last he fell into a sound sleep. astrid went softly back to the king's castle. she dragged the king's sword after her along the road. her face was paler than the dying man's had been. her breathing was heavy, like that of a dying person. * * * * * it was the morning of all saints' day, and king olaf was ready to go to mass. he came out of the king's hall and went across the courtyard towards the gateway. several of the king's henchmen stood in the courtyard to accompany him to mass. when the king came towards them, they drew up in two rows, and the king passed between them. astrid stood in the narrow corridor outside the women's room and looked down at the king. he wore a broad golden band round his head, and was attired in a long mantle of red velvet. he went very quietly, and there was a holy peace over his face. astrid was terrified to see how much he resembled the saints and kings that were carved in wood over the altar in the marie church. at the gateway stood a man in a broad-brimmed hat, and wearing a big mantle. when the king approached him he threw off his mantle, lifted a drawn sword, which he had hidden under it, and rushed at the king. but when he was quite close to him, the mild and gentle glance of the king fell upon him, and he suddenly stopped. he let his sword fall to the ground, and fell on his knees. king olaf stood still, and looked at the man with the same clear glance; the man tried to turn his eyes away from him, but he could not. at last he burst into tears and sobs. 'oh, king olaf! king olaf!' he moaned. 'thine enemies sent me hither to slay thee; but when i saw thy saintly face my sword fell from my hand. thine eyes, king olaf, have felled me to the ground.' astrid sank upon her knees where she stood. 'oh god, have mercy upon me, a sinner!' she said. 'woe unto me, because by lying and deceit i have become the wife of this man.' iv on the evening of all saints' day the moon shone bright and clear. the king had gone the round of the castle, had looked into stables and barns to see that all was well; he had even been to the house where the serfs dwelt to ascertain if they were well looked after. when he went back to the king's hall, he saw a woman with a black kerchief over her head stealing towards the gateway. he thought he knew her, and therefore followed her. she went out of the gateway, over the market place, and stole down the narrow lanes to the river. olaf haraldsson went after her as quietly as he could. he saw her go on to one of the landing-stages, stand still, and look down into the water. she stretched out her arms towards heaven, and, with a deep sigh, she went so near the edge that the king saw she meant to spring into the river. the king approached her with the noiseless steps which a life full of danger had taught him. twice the woman lifted her foot to make the spring, but she hesitated. before she could make a new attempt, king olaf had his arm round her waist and drew her back. 'thou unhappy one!' he said. 'thou wouldest do that which god hath prohibited.' when the woman heard his voice she held her hands before her face as if to hide it. but king olaf knew who she was. the rustle of her dress, the shape of her head, the golden rings on her arms had already told him that it was the queen. the first moment astrid had struggled to free herself, but she soon grew quiet, and tried to make the king believe that she had not intended to kill herself. 'king olaf, why dost thou secretly come behind a poor woman who hath gone down to the river to see how she is mirrored in the water? what must i think of thee?' astrid's voice sounded composed and playful. the king stood silent. 'thou hast frightened me so that i nearly fell into the river,' astrid said. 'didst thou think, perhaps, that i would drown myself?' the king answered: 'i know not what to believe; god will enlighten me.' astrid laughed and kissed him. 'what woman would take her life who is as happy as i am? doth one take one's life in paradise?' 'i do not understand it,' said king olaf, in his gentle manner. 'god will enlighten me. he will tell me if it be through any fault of mine that thou wouldest commit so great a sin.' astrid went up to him and stroked his cheek. the reverence she felt for king olaf had hitherto deterred her from showing him the full tenderness of her love. now she threw her arms passionately around him and kissed him countless times. then she began to speak to him in gentle, bird-like tones. 'wouldest thou know how truly my heart clings to thee?' she said. she made the king sit down on an overturned boat. she knelt down at his feet. 'king olaf,' she said, 'i will no longer be queen. she who loves as greatly as i love thee cannot be a queen. i wish thou wouldest go far into the forest, and let me be thy bondwoman. then i should have leave to serve thee every day. then i would prepare thy food, make thy bed, and watch over thy house whilst thou slept. none other should have leave to serve thee, except i. when thou returnest from the chase in the evening, i would go to meet thee, and kneel before thee on the road and say: "king olaf, my life is thine." and thou wouldest laugh, and lower thy spear against my breast, and say: "yes, thy life is mine. thou hast neither father nor mother; thou art mine, and thy life is mine."' as astrid said this, she drew, as if in play, king olaf's sword out of its sheath. she laid the hilt in the king's hand, but the point she directed towards her own heart. 'say these words to me, king olaf,' she said, 'as if we were alone in the forest, and i were thy bondwoman. say: "thy life is mine."' 'thy life is god's,' said the king. astrid laughed lightly. 'my life is thine,' she repeated, in the tenderest voice, and the same moment king olaf felt that she pressed the point of the sword against her breast. but the king held the sword with a firm hand, even when in play. he drew it to him before astrid had time to do herself any harm. and he sprang up. for the first time in his life he trembled from fear. the queen would die at his hand, and she had not been far from attaining her wish. at the same moment he had an inspiration, and he understood what was the cause of her despair. 'she has committed a sin,' he thought. 'she has a sin upon her conscience.' he bent down over astrid. 'tell me in what manner thou hast sinned,' he said. astrid had thrown herself down on the rough planks of the bridge, crying in utter despair. 'no one free from guilt would weep like this,' thought the king. 'but how can the honourable daughter of the king have brought such a heavy burden upon her?' he asked himself. 'how can the noble ingegerd have a crime upon her conscience?' 'ingegerd, tell me how thou hast sinned,' he asked again. but astrid was sobbing so violently that she could not answer, but instead she drew off her golden arm and finger rings, and handed them to the king with averted face. the king thought how unlike this was to the gentle king's daughter of whom hjalte had spoken. 'is this hjalte's ingegerd that lies sobbing at my feet?' he thought. he bent down and seized astrid by the shoulder. 'who are thou? who art thou?' he said, shaking her arm. 'i see that thou canst not be ingegerd. who art thou?' astrid was still sobbing so violently that she could not speak. but in order to give the king the answer he asked for, she let down her long hair, twisted a lock of it round her arms, and held them towards the king, and sat thus bowed and with drooping head. the king thought: 'she wishes me to understand that she belongs to those who wear chains. she confesses that she is a bondwoman.' a thought again struck the king; he now understood everything. 'has not the svea-king a daughter who is the child of a bondwoman?' he asked suddenly. he received no answer to this question either, but he heard astrid shudder as if from cold. king olaf asked still one more question. 'thou whom i have made my wife,' he said, 'hast thou so low a mind that thou wouldest allow thyself to be used as a means of spoiling a man's honour? is thy mind so mean that thou rejoicest when his enemies laugh at his discomfiture?' astrid could hear from the king's voice how bitterly he suffered under the insult that had been offered him. she forgot her own sufferings, and wept no more. 'take my life,' she said. a great temptation came upon king olaf. 'slay this wicked bondwoman,' the old adam said within him. 'show the svea-king what it costs to make a fool of the king of norway.' at that moment olaf haraldsson felt no love for astrid. he hated her for having been the means of his humiliation. he knew everybody would think it right when he returned evil for evil, and if he did not avenge this insult, he would be held in derision by the bards, and his enemies would no longer fear him. he had but one wish: to slay astrid, to take her life. his anger was so violent that it craved for blood. if a fool had dared to put his fool's cap upon his head, would he not have torn it off, torn it to pieces, thrown it on the ground, trampled upon it? if he now laid astrid a bloody corpse upon her ship, and sent her back to her father, people would say of king olaf that he was a worthy descendant of harald haarfager. but king olaf still held his sword in his hand, and under his fingers he felt the hilt, upon which he had once had inscribed: 'blessed are the peacemakers,' 'blessed are the meek,' 'blessed are the merciful.' and every time he, in this hour of anguish, grasped his sword firmly in order to slay astrid, he felt these words under his hand. he thought he could feel every letter. he remembered the day when he had first heard these words. 'this i will write in letters of gold on the hilt of my sword,' he had said, 'so that the words may burn in my hand every time i would swing my sword in fury, or for an unjust cause.' he felt that the hilt of the sword now burnt in his hand. king olaf said aloud to himself: 'formerly thou wert the slave of many lusts; now thou hast but one master, and that is god.' with these words he put back the sword into its sheath, and began to walk to and fro on the bridge. astrid remained lying in the same position. king olaf saw that she crouched in fear of death every time he went past her. 'i will not slay thee,' he said; but his voice sounded hard from hatred. king olaf continued for awhile to walk backwards and forwards on the bridge; then he went up to astrid, and asked her in the same hard voice what her real name was, and that she was able to answer him. he looked at this woman whom he had so highly treasured, and who now lay at his feet like a wounded deer--he looked down upon her as a dead man's soul looks with pity at the poor body which was once its dwelling. 'oh, thou my soul,' said king olaf, 'it was there thou dwelt in love, and now thou art as homeless as a beggar.' he drew nearer to astrid, and spoke as if she were no longer living or could hear what he said. 'it was told me that there was a king's daughter whose heart was so pure and holy that she endued with peace all who came near her. they told me of her gentleness, that he who saw her felt as safe as a helpless child does with its mother, and when the beautiful woman who now lies here came to me, i thought that she was ingegerd, and she became exceeding dear to me. she was so beautiful and glad, and she made my own heavy thoughts light. and did she sometimes act otherwise than i expected the proud ingegerd to do, she was too dear to me to doubt her; she stole into my heart with her joyousness and beauty.' he was silent for a time, and thought how dear astrid had been to him and how happiness had with her come to his house. 'i could forgive her,' he said aloud. 'i could again make her my queen, i could in love take her in my arms; but i _dare_ not, for my soul would still be homeless. ah, thou fair woman,' he said, 'why dost lying dwell within thee? with thee there is no security, no rest.' the king went on bemoaning himself, but now astrid stood up. 'king olaf, do not speak thus to me,' she said; 'i will rather die. understand, i am in earnest.' then she tried to say a few words to excuse herself. she told him that she had gone to kungahälla not with the intention of deceiving him, but in order to be a princess for a few weeks, to be waited upon like a queen, to sail on the sea. but she had intended to confess who she was as soon as she came to kungahälla. there she expected to find hjalte and the other great men who knew ingegerd. she had never thought of deceiving him when she came, but an evil spirit had sent all those away who knew ingegerd, and then the temptation had come to her. 'when i saw thee, king olaf,' she said, 'i forgot everything to become thine, and i thought i would gladly suffer death at thine hand had i but for one day been thy wife.' king olaf answered her: 'i see that what was deadly earnest to me was but a pastime to thee. never hast thou thought upon what it was to come and say to a man: "i am she whom thou most fervently desirest; i am that high-born maiden whom it is the greatest honour to win." and then thou art not that woman; thou art but a lying bondwoman.' 'i have loved thee from the first moment i heard thy name,' astrid said softly. the king clenched his hand in anger against her. 'know, astrid, that i have longed for ingegerd as no man has ever longed for woman. i would have clung to her as the soul of the dead clings to the angel bearing him upwards. i thought she was so pure that she could have helped me to lead a sinless life.' and he broke out into wild longings, and said that he longed for the power of the holy ones of god, but that he was too weak and sinful to attain to perfection. 'but the king's daughter could have helped me,' he said; 'she the saintly and gentle one would have helped me. oh, my god,' he said, 'whichever way i turn i see sinners, wherever i go i meet those who would entice me to sin. why didst thou not send me the king's daughter, who had not a single evil thought in her heart? her gentle eye would have found the right path for my foot. whenever i strayed from it her gentle hand would have led me back.' a feeling of utter helplessness and the weariness of despair fell upon olaf haraldsson. 'it was this upon which i had set my hopes,' he said--'to have a good woman at my side, not to wander alone amongst wickedness and sin forever. now i feel that i must succumb; i am unable to fight any longer. have i not asked god,' he exclaimed, 'what place i shall have before his face? to what hast thou chosen me, thou lord of souls? is it appointed unto me to become the equal of apostles and martyrs? but now, astrid, i need ask no longer; god hath not been willing to give me that woman who should have assisted me in my wandering. now i know that i shall never win the crown of the saints.' the king was silent in inconsolable despair; then astrid drew nearer to him. 'king olaf,' she said, 'what thou now sayest both hjalte and ingegerd have told me long ago, but i would not believe that thou wert more than a good and brave knight and noble king. it is only now that i have lived under thy roof that my soul has begun to fear thee. i have felt that it was worse than death to appear before thee with a lie upon my lips. never have i been so terrified,' astrid continued, 'as when i understood that thou wast a saint. when i saw thee burn the chips in thine hand, when i saw sickness flee at thy bidding, and the sword fall out of thine enemy's hand when he met thee, i was terrified unto death when i saw that thou wast a saint, and i resolved to die before thou knewest that i had deceived thee.' king olaf did not answer. astrid looked up at him; she saw that his eyes were turned towards heaven. she did not know if he had heard her. 'ah,' she said, 'this moment have i feared every day and every hour since i came hither. i would have died rather than live through it.' olaf haraldsson was still silent. 'king olaf,' she said, 'i would gladly give my life for thee; i would gladly throw myself into the gray river so that thou shouldst not live with a lying woman at thy side. the more i saw of thy holiness the better i understood that i must go from thee. a saint of god cannot have a lying bondwoman at his side.' the king was still silent, but now astrid raised her eyes to his face; then she cried out, terror-stricken: 'king olaf, thy face shines.' whilst astrid spoke, god had shown king olaf a vision. he saw all the stars of heaven leave their appointed places, and fly like swarming bees about the universe. but suddenly they all gathered above his head and formed a radiant crown. 'astrid,' said he, with trembling voice, 'god hath spoken to me. it is true what thou sayest. i shall become a saint of god.' his voice trembled from emotion, and his face shone in the night. but when astrid saw the light that surrounded his head, she arose. for her the last hope had faded. 'now i will go,' she said. 'now thou knowest whom thou art. thou canst never more bear me at thy side. but think gently of me. without joy or happiness have i lived all my life. in rags have i gone; blows have i endured. forgive me when i am gone. my love has done thee no harm.' when astrid in silent despair crossed over the bridge, olaf haraldsson awoke from his ecstasy. he hastened after her. 'why wilt thou go?' he said. 'why wilt thou go?' '_must_ i not go from thee when thou art a saint?' she whispered scarcely audibly. 'thou shalt not go. now thou canst remain,' said king olaf. 'before, i was a lowly man and must fear all sin; a poor earthly king was i, too poor to bestow on thee my grace; but now all the glory of heaven has been given to me. art thou weak? i am the lord's knight. dost thou fall? i can lift thee up. god hath chosen me, astrid. thou canst not harm me, but i can help thee. ah! what am i saying? in this hour god hath so wholly and fully shed the riches of his love in my heart that i cannot even see thou hast done wrong.' gently and tenderly he lifted up the trembling form, and whilst lovingly supporting her, who was still sobbing and who could hardly stand upright, he and astrid went back to the king's castle. _from a swedish_ homestead iii _old_ agnete _old_ agnete an old woman went up the mountain-path with short, tripping steps. she was little and thin. her face was pale and wizened, but neither hard nor furrowed. she wore a long cloak and a quilled cap. she had a prayer-book in her hand and a sprig of lavender in her handkerchief. she lived in a hut far up the high mountain where no trees could grow. it was lying quite close to the edge of a broad glacier, which sent its river of ice from the snow-clad mountain peak into the depths of the valley. there she lived quite alone. all those who had belonged to her were dead. it was sunday, and she had been to church. but whatever might be the cause, her going there had not made her happy, but sorrowful. the clergyman had spoken about death and the doomed, and that had affected her. she had suddenly begun to think of how she had heard in her childhood that many of the doomed were tormented in the region of eternal cold on the mountain right above her dwelling. she could remember many tales about these wanderers of the glaciers--these indefatigable shadows which were hunted from place to place by the icy mountain winds. all at once she felt a great terror of the mountain, and thought that her hut was dreadfully high up. supposing those who moved about invisibly there wandered down the glaciers! and she who was quite alone! the word 'alone' gave to her thoughts a still sadder turn. she again felt the full burden of that sorrow which never left her. she thought how hard it was to be so far away from human beings. 'old agnete,' she said aloud to herself, as she had got into the habit of doing in the lonely waste, 'you sit in your hut and spin, and spin. you work and toil all the hours of the day so as not to perish from hunger. but is there anyone to whom you give any pleasure by being alive? is there anyone, old agnete? if any of your own were living----yes, then, perhaps, if you lived nearer the village, you might be of some use to somebody. poor as you are, you could neither take dog nor cat home to you, but you could probably now and then give a beggar shelter. you ought not to live so far away from the highroad, old agnete. if you could only once in a while give a thirsty wayfarer a drink, then you would know that it was of some use your being alive.' she sighed, and said to herself that not even the peasant women who gave her flax to spin would mourn her death. she had certainly striven to do her work honestly and well, but no doubt there were many who could have done it better. she began to cry bitterly, when the thought struck her that his reverence, who had seen her sitting in the same place in church for so many, many years, would perhaps think it a matter of perfect indifference whether she was dead or not. 'it is as if i were dead,' she said. 'no one asks after me. i would just as well lie down and die. i am already frozen to death from cold and loneliness. i am frozen to the core of the heart, i am indeed. ah me! ah me!' she said, now she had been set a-thinking; 'if there were only someone who really needed me, there might still be a little warmth left in old agnete. but i cannot knit stockings for the mountain goats, or make the beds for the marmots, can i? i tell thee,' she said, stretching our her hands towards heaven, 'something thou must give me to do, or i shall lay me down and die.' at the same moment a tall, stern monk came towards her. he walked by her side because he saw that she was sorrowful, and she told him about her troubles. she said that her heart was nearly frozen to death, and that she would become like one of the wanderers on the glacier if god did not give her something to live for. 'god will assuredly do that,' said the monk. 'do you not see that god is powerless here?' old agnete said. 'here there is nothing but an empty, barren waste.' they went higher and higher towards the snow mountains. the moss spread itself softly over the stones; the alpine herbs, with their velvety leaves, grew along the pathway; the mountain, with its rifts and precipices, its glaciers and snow-drifts, towered above them, weighing them down. then the monk discovered old agnete's hut, right below the glacier. 'oh,' he said, 'is it there you live? then you are not alone there; you have company enough. only look!' the monk put his thumb and first finger together, held them before old agnete's left eye, and bade her look through them towards the mountain. but old agnete shuddered and closed her eyes. 'if there is anything to see up there, then i will not look on any account,' she said. 'the lord preserve us! it is bad enough without that.' 'good-bye, then,' said the monk; 'it is not certain that you will be permitted to see such a thing a second time.' old agnete grew curious; she opened her eyes and looked towards the glacier. at first she saw nothing remarkable, but soon she began to discern things moving about. what she had taken to be mist and vapour, or bluish-white shadows on the ice, were multitudes of doomed souls, tormented in the eternal cold. poor old agnete trembled like an aspen leaf. everything was just as she had heard it described in days gone by. the dead wandered about there in endless anguish and pain. most of them were shrouded in something long and white, but all had their faces and their hands bared. they could not be counted, there was such a multitude. the longer she looked, the more there appeared. some walked proud and erect, others seemed to dance over the glacier; but she saw that they all cut their feet on the sharp and jagged edges of the ice. it was just as she had been told. she saw how they constantly huddled close together, as if to warm themselves, but immediately drew back again, terrified by the deathly cold which emanated from their bodies. it was as if the cold of the mountain came from them, as if it were they who prevented the snow from melting and made the mist so piercingly cold. they were not all moving; some stood in icy stoniness, and it looked as if they had been standing thus for years, for ice and snow had gathered around them so that only the upper portion of their bodies could be seen. the longer the little old woman gazed the quieter she grew. fear left her, and she was only filled with sorrow for all these tormented beings. there was no abatement in their pain, no rest for their torn feet, hurrying over ice sharp as edged steel. and how cold they were! how they shivered! how their teeth chattered from cold! those who were petrified and those who could move, all suffered alike from the snarling, biting, unbearable cold. there were many young men and women; but there was no youth in their faces, blue with cold. it looked as if they were playing, but all joy was dead. they shivered, and were huddled up like old people. but those who made the deepest impression on her were those frozen fast in the hard glacier, and those who were hanging from the mountain-side like great icicles. then the monk removed his hand, and old agnete saw only the barren, empty glaciers. here and there were ice-mounds, but they did not surround any petrified ghosts. the blue light on the glacier did not proceed from frozen bodies; the wind chased the snowflakes before it, but not any ghosts. still old agnete was certain that she had really seen all this, and she asked the monk: 'is it permitted to do anything for these poor doomed ones?' he answered: 'when has god forbidden love to do good or mercy to solace?' then the monk went his way, and old agnete went to her hut and thought it all over. the whole evening she pondered how she could help the doomed who were wandering on the glaciers. for the first time in many years she had been too busy to think of her loneliness. next morning she again went down to the village. she smiled, and was well content. old age was no longer so heavy a burden. 'the dead,' she said to herself, 'do not care so much about red cheeks and light steps. they only want one to think of them with a little warmth. but young people do not trouble to do that. oh no, oh no. how should the dead protect themselves from the terrible coldness of death did not old people open their hearts to them? when she came to the village shop she bought a large package of candles, and from a peasant she ordered a great load of firewood; but in order to pay for it she had to take in twice as much spinning as usual. towards evening, when she got home again, she said many prayers, and tried to keep up her courage by singing hymns. but her courage sank more and more. all the same, she did what she had made up her mind to do. she moved her bed into the inner room of her hut. in the front room she made a big fire and lighted it. in the window she placed two candles, and left the outer door wide open. then she went to bed. she lay in the darkness and listened. yes, there certainly was a step. it was as if someone had come gliding down the glacier. it came heavily, moaning. it crept round the hut as if it dared not come in. close to the wall it stood and shivered. old agnete could not bear it any longer. she sprang out of bed, went into the outer room and closed the door. it was too much; flesh and blood could not stand it. outside the hut she heard deep sighs and dragging steps, as of sore, wounded feet. they dragged themselves away further and further up the icy glacier. now and again she also heard sobs; but soon everything was quiet. then old agnete was beside herself with anxiety. 'you are a coward, you silly old thing,' she said. 'both the fire and the lights, which cost so much, are burning out. shall it all have been done in vain because you are such a miserable coward?' and when she had said this she got out of bed again, crying from fear, with chattering teeth, and shivering all over; but into the other room she went, and the door she opened. again she lay and waited. now she was no longer frightened that they should come. she was only afraid lest she had scared them away, and that they dared not come back. and as she lay there in the darkness she began to call just as she used to do in her young days when she was tending the sheep. 'my little white lambs, my lambs in the mountains, come, come! come down from rift and precipice, my little white lambs!' then it seemed as if a cold wind from the mountain came rushing into the room. she heard neither step nor sob, only gusts of wind that came rushing along the walls of the hut into the room. and it sounded as if someone were continually saying: 'hush, hush! don't frighten her! don't frighten her! don't frighten her!' she had a feeling as if the outside room was so overcrowded that they were being crushed against the walls, and that the walls were giving way. sometimes it seemed as if they would lift the roof in order to gain more room. but the whole time there were whispers: 'hush, hush! don't frighten her! don't frighten her!' then old agnete felt happy and peaceful. she folded her hands and fell asleep. in the morning it seemed as if the whole had been a dream. everything looked as usual in the outer room; the fire had burnt out, and so had the candles. there was not a vestige of tallow left in the candlesticks. as long as old agnete lived she continued to do this. she spun and worked so that she could keep her fire burning every night. and she was happy because someone needed her. then one sunday she was not in her usual seat in the church. two peasants went up to her hut to see if there was anything the matter. she was already dead, and they carried her body down to the village to bury it. when, the following sunday, her funeral took place, just before mass, there were but few who followed, neither did one see grief on any face. but suddenly, just as the coffin was being lowered into the grave, a tall, stern monk came into the churchyard, and he stood still and pointed to the snow-clad mountains. then they saw the whole mountain-ridge shining in a red light as if lighted with joy, and round it wound a procession of small yellow flames, looking like burning candles. and these flames numbered as many as the candles which old agnete had burned for the doomed. then people said: 'praise the lord! she whom no one mourns here below has all the same found friends in the solitude above.' _from a swedish_ homestead iv _the fisherman's_ ring _the fisherman's_ ring during the reign of the doge gradenigos there lived in venice an old fisherman, cecco by name. he had been an unusually strong man, and was still very strong for his age, but lately he had given up work and left it to his two sons to provide for him. he was very proud of his sons, and he loved them--ah, signor, how he loved them! fate had so ordered it that their bringing up had been almost entirely left to him. their mother had died early, and so cecco had to take care of them. he had looked after their clothes and cooked their food; he had sat in the boat with needle and cotton and mended and darned. he had not cared in the least that people had laughed at him on that account. he had also, quite alone, taught them all it was necessary for them to know. he had made a couple of able fishermen of them, and taught them to honour god and san marco. 'always remember,' he said to them, 'that venice will never be able to stand in her own strength. look at her! has she not been built on the waves? look at the low islands close to land, where the sea plays amongst the seaweed. you would not venture to tread upon them, and yet it is upon such foundation that the whole city rests. and do you not know that the north wind has strength enough to throw both churches and palaces into the sea? do you not know that we have such powerful enemies, that all the princes in christendom cannot vanquish them? therefore you must always pray to san marco, for in his strong hands rests the chains which hold venice suspended over the depths of the sea.' and in the evening, when the moon shed its light over venice, greenish-blue from the sea-mist; when they quietly glided up the canale grande and the gondolas they met were full of singers; when the palaces shone in their white splendour, and thousands of lights mirrored themselves in the dark waters--then he always reminded them that they must thank san marco for life and happiness. but oh, signor! he did not forget him in the daytime either. when they returned from fishing and glided over the water of the lagoons, light-blue and golden; when the city lay before them, swimming on the waves; when the great ships passed in and out of the harbour, and the palace of the doges shone like a huge jewel-casket, holding all the world's treasure--then he never forgot to tell them that all these things were the gift of san marco, and that they would all vanish if a single venetian were ungrateful enough to give up believing in and adoring him. then, one day, the sons went out fishing on the open sea, outside lido. they were in company with several others, had a splendid vessel, and intended being away several days. the weather was fine, and they hoped for a goodly haul. they left the rialto, the large island where the city proper lies, one early morning, and as they passed through the lagoons they saw all the islands which, like fortifications, protect venice against the sea, appear through the mist of the morning. there were la gindecca and san giorgio on the right, and san michele, muracco and san lazzaro on the left. then island followed upon island in a large circle, right on to the long lido lying straight before them, and forming, as it were, the clasp of this string of pearls. and beyond lido was the wide, infinite sea. when they were well at sea, some of them got into a small boat and rowed out to set their nets. it was still fine weather, although the waves were higher here than inside the islands. none of them, however, dreamt of any danger. they had a good boat and were experienced men. but soon those left on the vessel saw that the sea and the sky suddenly grew darker in the north. they understood that a storm was coming on, and they at once shouted to their comrades, but they were already too far away to hear them. the wind first reached the small boat. when the fishermen suddenly saw the waves rise around them, as herds of cattle on a large plain arise in the morning, one of the men in the boat stood up and beckoned to his comrades, but the same moment he fell backwards into the sea. immediately afterwards a wave came which raised the boat on her bows, and one could see how the men, as it were, were shaken from off their seats and flung into the sea. it only lasted a moment, and everything had disappeared. then the boat again appeared, keel upwards. the men in the vessel tried to reach the spot, but could not tack against the wind. it was a terrific storm which came rushing over the sea, and soon the fishermen in the vessel had their work set to save themselves. they succeeded in getting home safely, however, and brought with them the news of the disaster. it was cecco's two sons and three others who had perished. ah me! how strangely things come about! the same morning cecco had gone down to the rialto to the fish-market. he went about amongst the stands and strutted about like a fine gentleman because he had no need to work. he even invited a couple of old lido fishermen to an asteri and stood them a beaker of wine. he grew very important as he sat there and bragged and boasted about his sons. his spirits rose high, and he took out the zecchine--the one the doge had given him when he had saved a child from drowning in canale grande. he was very proud of this large gold coin, carried it always about him, and showed it to people whenever there was an opportunity. suddenly a man entered the asteri and began to tell about the disaster, without noticing that cecco was sitting there. but he had not been speaking long before cecco threw himself over him and seized him by the throat. 'you do not dare to tell me that they are dead!' he shrieked--'not my sons!' the man succeeded in getting away from him, but cecco for a long time went on as if he were out of his mind. people heard him shout and groan; they crowded into the asteri--as many as it could hold--and stood round him in a circle as if he were a juggler. cecco sat on the floor and moaned. he hit the hard stone floor with his fist, and said over and over again: 'it is san marco, san marco, san marco!' 'cecco, you have taken leave of your senses from grief,' they said to him. 'i knew it would happen on the open sea,' cecco said; 'outside lido and malamocco, there, i knew it would happen. there san marco would take them. he bore them a grudge. i have feared it, boy. yes,' he said, without hearing what they said to quiet him, 'they once laughed at him, once when we were lying outside lido. he has not forgotten it; he will not stand being laughed at.' he looked with confused glances at the bystanders, as if to seek help. 'look here, beppo from malamocca,' he said, stretching out his hand towards a big fisherman, 'don't you believe it was san marco?' 'don't imagine any such thing, cecco.' 'now you shall hear, beppo, how it happened. you see, we were lying out at sea, and to while away the time i told them how san marco had come to venice. the evangelist san marco was first buried in a beautiful cathedral at alexandria in egypt. but the town got into the possession of unbelievers, and one day the khalifa ordered that they should build him a magnificent palace at alexandria, and take some columns from the christian churches for its decoration. but just at that time there were two venetian merchants at alexandria who had ten heavily-laden vessels lying in the harbour. when these men entered the church where san marco was buried and heard the command of the khalifa, they said to the sorrowful priests: "the precious body which you have in your church may be desecrated by the saracens. give it to us; we will honour it, for san marco was the first to preach on the lagoon, and the doge will reward you." and the priests gave their consent, and in order that the christians of alexandria should not object, the body of another holy man was placed in the evangelist's coffin. but to prevent the saracens from getting any news of the removal of the body, it was placed at the bottom of a large chest, and above it were packed hams and smoked bacon, which the saracens could not endure. so when the custom-house officers opened the lid of the chest, they at once hurried away. the two merchants, however, brought san marco safely to venice; you know, beppo, that this is what they say.' 'i do, cecco.' 'yes; but just listen now,' and cecco half arose, and in his fear spoke in a low voice. 'something terrible now happened. when i told the boys that the holy man had been hidden underneath the bacon, they burst out laughing. i tried to hush them, but they only laughed the louder. giacomo was lying on his stomach in the bows, and pietro sat with his legs dangling outside the boat, and they both laughed so that it could be heard far out over the sea.' 'but, cecco, surely two children may be allowed to laugh.' 'but don't you understand that is where they have perished to-day--on the very spot? or can you understand why they should have lost their lives on that spot?' now they all began to talk to him and comfort him. it was his grief which made him lose his senses. this was not like san marco. he would not revenge himself upon two children. was it not natural that when a boat was caught in a storm this would happen on the open sea and not in the harbour? surely his sons had not lived in enmity with san marco. they had heard them shout, '_eviva san marco!_' as eagerly as all the others, and had he not protected them to this very day. he had never, during the years that had passed, shown any sign of being angry with them. 'but, cecco,' they said, 'you will bring misfortune upon us with your talk about san marco. you, who are an old man and a wise man, should know better than to raise his anger against the venetians. what are we without him?' cecco sat and looked at them bewildered. 'then you don't believe it?' 'no one in his senses would believe such a thing.' it looked as if they had succeeded in quieting him. 'i will also try not to believe it,' he said. he rose and walked towards the door. 'it would be too cruel, would it not?' he said. 'they were too handsome and too brave for anyone to hate them; i will not believe it.' he went home, and in the narrow street outside his door he met an old woman, one of his neighbours. 'they are reading a mass in the cathedral for the souls of the dead,' she said to cecco, and hurried away. she was afraid of him; he looked so strange. cecco took his boat and made his way through the small canals down to riva degli schiavoni. there was a wide view from there; he looked towards lido and the sea. yes, it was a hard wind, but not a storm by any means; there were hardly any waves. and his sons had perished in weather like this! it was inconceivable. he fastened his boat, and went across the piazetta and the market place into san marco. there were many people in the church, and they were all kneeling and praying in great fear; for it is much more terrible for the venetians, you know, than any other people when there is a disaster at sea. they do not get their living from vineyards or fields, but they are all, everyone of them, dependent on the sea. whenever the sea rose against any one of them they were all afraid, and hurried to san marco to pray to him for protection. as soon as cecco entered the cathedral he stopped. he thought of how he had brought his little sons there, and taught them to pray to san marco. 'it is he who carries us over the sea, who opens the gates of byzance for us and gives us the supremacy over the islands of the east,' he said to them. out of gratitude for all this the venetians had built san marco the most beautiful temple in the world, and no vessel ever returned from a foreign port without bringing a gift for san marco. then they had admired the red marble walls of the cathedral and the golden mosaic ceiling. it was as if no misfortune could befall a city that had such a sanctuary for her patron saint. cecco quickly knelt down and began to pray, the one _paternoster_ after the other. it came back, he felt. he would send it away by prayers. he would not believe anything bad about san marco. but it had been no storm at all. and so much was certain, that even if the saint had not sent the storm, he had, in any case, not done anything to help cecco's sons, but had allowed them to perish as if by accident. when this thought came upon him he began to pray; but the thought would not leave him. and to think that san marco had a treasury in this cathedral full of all the glories of fairyland! to think that he had himself prayed to him all his life, and had never rowed past the piazetta without going into the cathedral to invoke him! surely it was not by a mere accident that his sons had to-day perished on the sea! oh, it was miserable for the venetians to have no one better to depend upon! just fancy a saint who revenged himself upon two children--a patron saint who could not protect against a gust of wind! he stood up, and he shrugged his shoulders, and disparagingly waved his hand when he looked towards the tomb of the saint in the chancel. a verger was going about with a large chased silver-gilt dish, collecting gifts for san marco. he went from the one person to the other, and also came to cecco. cecco drew back as if it were the evil one himself who handed him the plate. did san marco ask for gifts from him? did he think he deserved gifts from him? all at once he seized the large golden zecchine he had in his belt, and flung it into the plate with such violence that the ring of it could be heard all over the church. it disturbed those who were praying, and made them turn round. and all who saw cecco's face were terrified; he looked as if he were possessed of evil spirits. cecco immediately left the church, and at first felt it as a great relief that he had been revenged upon the saint. he had treated him as one treats a usurer who demands more than he is entitled to. 'take this too,' one says, and throws his last gold piece in the fellow's face so that the blood runs down over his eyes. but the usurer does not strike again--simply stoops and picks up the zecchine. so, too, had san marco done. he had accepted cecco's zecchine, having first robbed him of his sons. cecco had made him accept a gift which had been tendered with such bitter hatred. would an honourable man have put up with such treatment? but san marco was a coward--both cowardly and revengeful. but he was not likely to revenge himself upon cecco. he was, no doubt, pleased and thankful he had got the zecchine. he simply accepted it and pretended that it had been given as piously as could be. when cecco stood at the entrance, two vergers quickly passed him. 'it rises--it rises terribly!' the one said. 'what rises?' asked cecco. 'the water in the crypt. it has risen a foot in the last two or three minutes.' when cecco went down the steps, he saw a small pool of water on the market place close to the bottom step. it was sea-water, which had splashed up from the piazetta. he was surprised that the sea had risen so high, and he hurried down to the riva, where his boat lay. everything was as he had left it, only the water had risen considerably. it came rolling in broad waves through the five sea-gates; but the wind was not very strong. at the riva there were already pools of sea-water, and the canals rose so that the doors in the houses facing the water had to be closed. the sky was all gray like the sea. it never struck cecco that it might grow into a serious storm. he would not believe any such thing. san marco had allowed his sons to perish without cause. he felt sure this was no real storm. he would just like to see if it would be a storm, and he sat down beside his boat and waited. then suddenly rifts appeared in the dull-gray clouds which covered the sky. the clouds were torn asunder and flung aside, and large storm-clouds came rushing, black like warships, and from them scourging rain and hail fell upon the city. and something like quite a new sea came surging in from lido. ah, signor! they were not the swan-necked waves you have seen out there, the waves that bend their transparent necks and hasten towards the shore, and which, when they are pitilessly repulsed, float away again with their white foam-hair dispersed over the surface of the sea. these were dark waves, chasing each other in furious rage, and over their tops the bitter froth of the sea was whipped into mist. the wind was now so strong that the seagulls could no longer continue their quiet flight, but, shrieking, were thrust from their course. cecco soon saw them with much trouble making their way towards the sea, so as not to be caught by the storm and flung against the walls. hundreds of pigeons on san marco's square flew up, beating their wings, so that it sounded like a new storm, and hid themselves away in all the nooks and corners of the church roof. but it was not the birds alone that were frightened by the storm. a couple of gondolas had already got loose, and were thrown against the shore, and were nearly shattered. and now all the gondoliers came rushing to pull their boats into the boathouses, or place them in shelter in the small canals. the sailors on the ships lying in the harbour worked with the anchor-chains to make the vessels fast, in order to prevent them drifting on to the shore. they took down the clothes hanging up to dry, pulled their long caps well over their foreheads, and began to collect all the loose articles lying about in order to bring them below deck. outside canale grande a whole fishing-fleet came hurrying home. all the people from lido and malamocco who had sold their goods at the rialto were rushing homewards, before the storm grew too violent. cecco laughed when he saw the fishermen bending over their oars and straining themselves as if they were fleeing from death itself. could they not see that it was only a gust of wind? they could very well have remained and given the venetian women time to buy all their cattle, fish, and crabs. he was certainly not going to pull his boat into shelter, although the storm was now violent enough for any ordinary man to have taken notice of it. the floating bridges were lifted up high and cast on to the shore, whilst the washerwomen hurried home shrieking. the broad-brimmed hats of the signors were blown off into the canals, from whence the street-boys fished them out with great glee. sails were torn from the masts, and fluttered in the air with a cracking sound; children were knocked down by the strong wind; and the clothes hanging on the lines in the narrow streets were torn to rags and carried far away. cecco laughed at the storm--a storm which drove the birds away, and played all sorts of pranks in the street, like a boy. but, all the same, he pulled his boat under one of the arches of the bridge. one could really not allow what that wind might take it into its head to do. in the evening cecco thought that it would have been fun to have been out at sea. it would have been splendid sailing with such a fresh wind. but on shore it was unpleasant. chimneys were blown down; the roofs of the boathouses were lifted right off; it rained tiles from the houses into the canals; the wind shook the doors and the window-shutters, rushed in under the open loggias of the palaces and tore off the decorations. cecco held out bravely, but he did not go home to bed. he could not take the boat home with him, so it was better to remain and look after it. but when anyone went by and said that it was terrible weather he would not admit it. he had experienced very different weather in his young days. 'storm!' he said to himself--'call this a storm? and they think, perhaps, that it began the same moment i threw the zecchine to san marco. as if he can command a real storm!' when night came the wind and the sea grew still more violent, so that venice trembled in her foundations. doge gradenigo and the gentlemen of the high council went in the darkness of the night to san marco to pray for the city. torch-bearers went before them, and the flames were spread out by the wind, so that they lay flat, like pennants. the wind tore the doge's heavy brocade gown, so that two men were obliged to hold it. cecco thought this was the most remarkable thing he had ever seen--doge gradenigo going himself to the cathedral on account of this bit of a wind! what would those people have done if there had been a real storm? the waves beat incessantly against the bulwarks. in the darkness of the night it was as if white-headed wresters sprang up from the deep, and with teeth and claws clung fast to the piles to tear them loose from the shore. cecco fancied he could hear their angry snorts when they were hurled back again. but he shuddered when he heard them come again and again, and tear in the bulwarks. it seemed to him that the storm was far more terrible in the night. he heard shouts in the air, and that was not the wind. sometimes black clouds came drifting like a whole row of heavy galleys, and it seemed as if they advanced to make an assault on the city. then he heard distinctly someone speaking in one of the riven clouds over his head. 'things look bad for venice now,' it said from the one cloud. 'soon our brothers the evil spirits will come and overthrow the city.' 'i am afraid san marco will not allow it to happen,' came as a response from the other cloud. 'san marco has been knocked down by a venetian, so he lies powerless, and cannot help anyone,' said the first. the storm carried the words down to old cecco, and from that moment he was on his knees, praying san marco for grace and forgiveness. for the evil spirits had spoken the truth. it did indeed look bad for venice. the fair queen of the isles was near destruction. a venetian had mocked san marco, and therefore venice was in danger of being carried away by the sea. there would be no more moonlight sails or her sea and in her canals, and no more barcaroles would be heard from her black gondolas. the sea would wash over the golden-haired signoras, over the proud palaces, over san marco, resplendent with gold. if there was no one to protect these islands, they were doomed to destruction. before san marco came to venice it had often happened that large portions of them had been washed away by the waves. at early dawn san marco's church bells began to ring. people crept to the church, their clothes being nearly torn off them. the storm went on increasing. the priests had resolved to go out and adjure the storm and the sea. the main doors of the cathedral were opened, and the long procession streamed out of the church. foremost the cross was carried, then came the choir-boys with wax candles, and last in the procession were carried the banner of san marco and the sacred host. but the storm did not allow itself to be cowed; on the contrary, it was as if it wished for nothing better to play with. it upset the choir-boys, blew out the wax candles, and flung the baldachin, which was carried over the host, on to the top of the doge's palace. it was with the utmost trouble that they saved san marco's banner, with the winged lion, from being carried away. cecco saw all this, and stole down to his boat moaning loudly. the whole day he lay near the shore, often wet by the waves and in danger of being washed into the sea. the whole day he was praying incessantly to god and san marco. he felt that the fate of the whole city depended upon his prayers. there were not many people about that day, but some few went moaning along the riva. all spoke about the immeasurable damage the storm had wrought. one could see the houses tumbling down on the murano. it was as if the whole island were under water. and also on the rialto one or two houses had fallen. the storm continued the whole day with unabated violence. in the evening a large multitude of people assembled at the market place and the piazetta, although these were nearly covered with water. people dared not remain in their houses, which shook in their very foundations. and the cries of those who feared disaster mingled with the lamentations of those whom it had already overtaken. whole dwellings were under water; children were drowned in their cradles. the old and the sick had been swept with the overturned houses into the waves. cecco was still lying and praying to san marco. oh, how could the crime of a poor fisherman be taken in such earnest? surely it was not his fault that the saint was so powerless! he would let the demons take him and his boat; he deserved no better fate. but not the whole city!--oh, god in heaven, not the whole city! 'my sons!' cecco said to san marco. 'what do i care about my sons when venice is at stake! i would willingly give a son for each tile in danger of being blown into the canal if i could keep them in their place at that price. oh, san marco, each little stone of venice is worth as much as a promising son.' at times he saw terrible things. there was a large galley which had torn itself from its moorings and now came drifting towards the shore. it went straight against the bulwark, and struck it with the ram's head in her bows, just as if it had been an enemy's ship. it gave blow after blow, and the attack was so violent that the vessel immediately sprang a leak. the water rushed in, the leak grew larger, and the proud ship went to pieces. but the whole time one could see the captain and two or three of the crew, who would not leave the vessel, cling to the deck and meet death without attempting to escape it. the second night came, and cecco's prayers continued to knock at the gate of heaven. 'let me alone suffer!' he cried. 'san marco, it is more than a man can bear, thus to drag others with him to destruction. only send thy lion and kill me; i shall not attempt to escape. everything that thou wilt have me give up for the city, that will i willingly sacrifice.' just as he had uttered these words he looked towards the piazetta, and he thought he could no longer see san marco's lion on the granite pillar. had san marco permitted his lion to be overthrown? old cecco cried. he was nearly giving up venice. whilst he was lying there he saw visions and heard voices all the time. the demons talked and moved to and fro. he heard them wheeze like wild beasts every time they made their assaults on the bulwarks. he did not mind them much; it was worse about venice. then he heard in the air above him the beating of strong wings; this was surely san marco's lion flying overhead. it moved backwards and forwards in the air; he saw and yet he did not see it. then it seemed to him as if it descended on riva degli schiavoni, where he was lying, and prowled about there. he was on the point of jumping into the sea from fear, but he remained sitting where he was. it was no doubt he whom the lion sought. if that could only save venice, then he was quite willing to let san marco avenge himself upon him. then the lion came crawling along the ground like a cat. he saw it making ready to spring. he noticed that it beat its wings and screwed its large carbuncle eyes together till they were only small fiery slits. then old cecco certainly did think of creeping down to his boat and hiding himself under the arch of the bridge, but he pulled himself together and remained where he was. the same moment a tall, imposing figure stood by his side. 'good-evening, cecco,' said the man; 'take your boat and row me across to san giorgio maggiore.' 'yes, signor,' immediately replied the old fisherman. it was as if he had awakened from a dream. the lion had disappeared, and the man must be somebody who knew him, although cecco could not quite remember where he had seen him before. he was glad to have company. the terrible heaviness and anguish that had been over him since he had revolted against the saint suddenly vanished. as to rowing across to san giorgio, he did not for a moment think that it could be done. 'i don't believe we can even get the boat out,' he said to himself. but there was something about the man at his side that made him feel he must do all he possibly could to serve him; and he did succeed in getting out the boat. he helped the stranger into the boat and took the oars. cecco could not help laughing to himself. 'what are you thinking about? don't go out further in any case,' he said. 'have you ever seen the like of these waves? do tell him that it is not within the power of man.' but he felt as if he could not tell the stranger that it was impossible. he was sitting there as quietly as if he were sailing to the lido on a summer's eve. and cecco began to row to san giorgio maggiore. it was a terrible row. time after time the waves washed over them. 'oh, stop him!' cecco said under his breath; 'do stop the man who goes to sea in such weather! otherwise he is a sensible old fisherman. do stop him!' now the boat was up a steep mountain, and then it went down into a valley. the foam splashed down on cecco from the waves that rushed past him like runaway horses, but in spite of everything he approached san giorgio. 'for whom are you doing all this, risking boat and life?' he said. 'you don't even know whether he can pay you. he does not look like a fine gentleman. he is no better dressed than you are.' but he only said this to keep up his courage, and not to be ashamed of his tractability. he was simply compelled to do everything the man in the boat wanted. 'but in any case not right to san giorgio, you foolhardy old man,' he said. 'the wind is even worse there than at the rialto.' but he went there, nevertheless, and made the boat fast whilst the stranger went on shore. he thought the wisest thing he could do would be to slip away and leave his boat, but he did not do it. he would rather die than deceive the stranger. he saw the latter go into the church of san giorgio. soon afterwards he returned, accompanied by a knight in full armour. 'row us now to san nicolo in lido,' said the stranger. 'ay, ay,' cecco thought; 'why not to lido?' they had already, in constant anguish and death, rowed to san giorgio; why should they not set out for lido? and cecco was shocked at himself that he obeyed the stranger even unto death, for he now actually steered for the lido. being now three in the boat, it was still heavier work. he had no idea how he should be able to do it. 'you might have lived many years yet,' he said sorrowfully to himself. but the strange thing was that he was not sorrowful, all the same. he was so glad that he could have laughed aloud. and then he was proud that he could make headway. 'he knows how to use his oars, does old cecco,' he said. they laid-to at lido, and the two strangers went on shore. they walked towards san nicolo in lido, and soon returned accompanied by an old bishop, with robe and stole, crosier in hand, and mitre on head. 'now row out to the open sea,' said the first stranger. old cecco shuddered. should he row out to the sea, where his sons perished? now he had not a single cheerful word to say to himself. he did not think so much of the storm, but of the terror it was to have to go out to the graves of his sons. if he rowed out there, he felt that he gave the stranger more than his life. the three men sat silently in the boat as if they were on watch. cecco saw them bend forward and gaze into the night. they had reached the gate of the sea at lido, and the great storm-ridden sea lay before them. cecco sobbed within himself. he thought of two dead bodies rolling about in these waves. he gazed into the water for two familiar faces. but onward the boat went. cecco did not give in. then suddenly the three men rose up in the boat; and cecco fell upon his knees, although he still went on holding the oars. a big ship steered straight against them. cecco could not quite tell whether it was a ship or only drifting mist. the sails were large, spread out, as it were, towards the four corners of heaven; and the hull was gigantic, but it looked as if it were built of the lightest sea-mist. he thought he saw men on board and heard shouting; but the crew were like deep darkness, and the shouting was like the roar of the storm. however it was, it was far too terrible to see the ship steer straight upon them, and cecco closed his eyes. but the three men in the boat must have averted the collision, for the boat was not upset. when cecco looked up the ship had fled out to sea, and loud wailings pierced the night. he rose, trembling to row further. he felt so tired that he could hardly hold the oars. but now there was no longer any danger. the storm had gone down, and the waves speedily laid themselves to rest. 'now row us back to venice,' said the stranger to the fisherman. cecco rowed the boat to lido, where the bishop went on shore, and to san giorgio, where the knight left them. the first powerful stranger went with him all the way to the rialto. when they had landed at riva degli schiavoni he said to the fisherman: 'when it is daylight thou shalt go to the doge and tell him what thou hast seen this night. tell him that san marco and san giorgio and san nicolo have to-night fought the evil spirits that would destroy venice, and have put them to flight.' 'yes, signor,' the fisherman answered, 'i will tell everything. but how shall i speak so that the doge will believe me?' then san marco handed him a ring with a precious stone possessed of a wonderful lustre. 'show this to the doge,' he said, 'then he will understand that it brings a message from me. he knows my ring, which is kept in san marco's treasury in the cathedral.' the fisherman took the ring, and kissed it reverently. 'further, thou shalt tell the doge,' said the holy man, 'that this is a sign that i shall never forsake venice. even when the last doge has left palazzo ducali i will live and preserve venice. even if venice lose her islands in the east and the supremacy of the sea, and no doge ever again sets out on the bucintoro, even then i will preserve the city beautiful and resplendent. it shall always be rich and beloved, always be lauded and its praises sung, always a place of joy for men to live in. say this, cecco, and the doge will not forsake thee in thine old age.' then he disappeared; and soon the sun rose above the gate of the sea at torcello. with its first beautiful rays it shed a rosy light over the white city and over the sea that shone in many colours. a red glow lay over san giorgio and san marco, and over the whole shore, studded with palaces. and in the lovely morning radiant venetian ladies came out on to the loggias and greeted with smiles the rising day. venice was once again the beautiful goddess, rising from the sea in her shell of rose-coloured pearl. beautiful as never before, she combed her golden hair, and threw the purple robe around her, to begin one of her happiest days. for a transport of bliss filled her when the old fisherman brought san marco's ring to the doge, and she heard how the saint, now, and until the end of time, would hold his protecting hand over her. _from a swedish_ homestead v _santa_ caterina _of_ siena _santa_ caterina _of_ siena at santa caterina's house in siena, on a day towards the end of april, in the week when her fête is being celebrated, people come to the old house in the street of the dyers, to the house with the pretty loggia and with the many small chambers, which have now been converted into chapels and sanctuaries, bringing bouquets of white lilies; and the rooms are fragrant with incense and violets. walking through these rooms, one cannot help thinking that it is just as if she were dead yesterday, as if all those who go in and out of her home to-day had seen and known her. but, on the other hand, no one could really think that she had died recently, for then there would be more grief and tears, and not only a quiet sense of loss. it is more as if a beloved daughter had been recently married, and had left the parental home. look only at the nearest houses. the old walls are still decorated as if for a fête. and in her own home garlands of flowers are still hanging beneath the portico and loggia, green leaves are strewn on the staircase and the doorstep, and large bouquets of flowers fill the rooms with their scent. she cannot possibly have been dead five hundred years. it looks much more as if she had celebrated her marriage, and had gone away to a country from which she would not return for many years, perhaps never. are not the houses decorated with nothing but red table-cloths, red trappings, and red silken banners, and are there not stuck red-paper roses in the dark garlands of oak-leaves? and the hangings over the doors and the windows, are they not red with golden fringes? can one imagine anything more cheerful? and notice how the old women go about in the house and examine her small belongings. it is as if they had seen her wear that very veil and that very shirt of hair. they inspect the room in which she lived, and point to the bedstead and the packets of letters, and they tell how at first she could not at all learn to write, but that it came to her all at once without her having learnt it. and only look at her writing--how good and distinct! and then they point to the little bottle she used to carry at her belt, so as always to have a little medicine at hand in case she met a sick person, and they utter a blessing over the old lantern she held in her hand when she went and visited the sick in the long weary nights. it is just as if they would say: 'dear me--dear me! that our little caterina benincasa should be gone, that she will never come any more and look after us old people!' and they kiss her picture, and take a flower from the bouquets to keep as a remembrance. it looks as if those who were left in the home had long ago prepared themselves for the separation, and tried to do everything possible to keep alive the memory of the one who had gone away. see, there they have painted her on the wall; there is the whole of her little history represented in every detail. there she is when she cut off her beautiful long hair so that no man could ever fall in love with her, for she would never marry. oh dear--oh dear! how much ridicule and scoffing she had suffered on that account! it is dreadful to think how her mother tormented her and treated her like a servant, and made her sleep on the stone floor in the hall, and would not give her any food, all because of her being so obstinate about that hair. but what was she to do when they continually tried to get her married--she who would have no other bridegroom than christ? and there she is when she was kneeling in prayer, and her father coming into the room without her knowing it saw a beautiful white dove hovering over her head whilst she was praying. and there she is on that christmas eve when she had gone secretly to the madonna's altar in order the more fully to rejoice over the birth of the son of god, and the beautiful madonna leaned out of her picture and handed the child to her that she might be allowed to hold it for a moment in her arms. oh, what a joy it had been for her! oh dear, no; it is not at all necessary to say that our little caterina benincasa is dead. one need only say that she has gone away with the bridegroom. in her home one will never forget her pious ways and doings. all the poor of siena come and knock at her door because they know that it is the marriage-day of the little virgin, and large piles of bread lie in readiness for them as if she were still there. they have their pockets and baskets filled; had she herself been there, she could not have sent them away more heavily laden. she who had gone away had left so great a want that one almost wonders the bridegroom had the heart to take her away with him. in the small chapels which have been arranged in every corner of the house they read mass the whole day, and they invoke the bride and sing hymns in her praise. 'holy caterina,' they say, 'on this the day of thy death, which is thine heavenly wedding-day, pray for us!' 'holy caterina, thou who hadst no other love but christ, thou who in life wert his affianced bride, and who in death wast received by him in paradise, pray for us!' 'holy caterina, thou radiant heavenly bride, thou most blessed of virgins, thou whom the mother of god exalted to her son's side, thou who on this day wast carried by angels to the kingdom of glory, pray for us!' * * * * * it is strange how one comes to love her, how the home and the pictures and the love of the old and the poor seem to make her living, and one begins to wonder how she really was, whether she was only a saint, only a heavenly bride, and if it is true that she was unable to love any other than christ. and then comes to one's mind an old story which warmed one's heart long ago, at first quite vague and without shape, but whilst one is sitting there under the loggia in the festively decorated home and watching the poor wander away with their full baskets, and hearing the subdued murmur from the chapels, the story becomes more and more distinct, and suddenly it is vivid and clear. * * * * * nicola tungo was a young nobleman of perugia, who often came to siena on account of the races. he soon found out how badly siena was governed, and often said, both at the festive gatherings of the great and when he sat drinking in the inns, that siena ought to rise against the signoria and procure other rulers. the signoria had not been in power for more than half a year; they did not feel particularly firm in their office, and did not like the perugian stirring up the people. in order promptly to put a stop to it, they had him imprisoned, and after a short trial he was sentenced to death. he was placed in a cell in the palazzo publico whilst preparations were being made for his execution, which was to take place the next morning in the market place. at first he was strangely affected. to-morrow he would no more wear his green velvet doublet and his beautiful sword; he would no more walk down the street in his cap with the ostrich-feather and attract the glances of the young maidens, and he had a feeling of painful disappointment that he would never ride the new horse which he bought yesterday, and which he had only tried once. suddenly he called the gaoler, and asked him to go to the gentlemen of the signoria and tell them that he could not possibly allow himself to be killed; he had no time. he had far too much to do. life could not do without him. his father was old, and he was the only son; it was through his descendants that the family should be continued. it was he who should give away his sisters in marriage, he who should build the new palace, he who should plant the new vineyard. he was a strong young man; he did not know what sickness was, had nothing but life in his veins. his hair was dark and his cheeks red. he could not realize that he should die. when he thought of their wanting to take him away from pleasure and dancing, and the carnival, and from the races next sunday, and from the serenade he was going to sing to the beautiful giulietta lombardi, he became furiously angry, and his wrath was roused against the councillors as though they were thieves and robbers. the scoundrels--the scoundrels that would take his life from him! but as time went on his longings grew deeper; he longed for air and water and heaven and earth. he felt he would not mind being a beggar by the wayside; he would gladly suffer sickness and hunger and cold if only he were allowed to live. he wished that everything might die with him, that nothing would be left when he was gone; that would have been a great consolation. but that people should go to the market place and buy and sell, and that the women would fetch water from the well, and that the children would run in the streets the next day and all days, and that he would not be there to see, that he could not bear. he envied not only those who could live in luxury and pleasure, and were happy; he envied quite as much the most miserable cripple. what he wanted was life, solely life. then the priests and the monks came to see him. it made him almost happy, for now he had someone upon whom he could wreak his anger. he first allowed them to talk a little. it amused him to hear what they had to say to a man so deeply wronged as he was, but when they said that he ought to rejoice that he was permitted to leave this life and gain the bliss of heaven in the fulness of his youth, then he started up and poured forth his wrath upon them. he scoffed at god and the joys of heaven--he did not want them. he would have life, and the world, and its pomps and vanities. he regretted every day in which he had not revelled in earthly enjoyment; he regretted every temptation he had resisted. god need not trouble himself in the least about him; he felt no longing for his heaven. the priests continued to speak; he seized one of them by the throat, and would have killed him had not the gaoler thrown himself between them. they now bound and gagged him, and then preached to him; but as soon as he was allowed to speak he raged as before. they talked to him for many hours, but they saw that it was of no avail. when they could think of nothing else to do, one of them suggested they should send for the young caterina benincasa, who had shown great power in subduing defiant spirits. when the perugian heard the name he suddenly ceased his abuse. in truth, it pleased him. it was something quite different, having to do with a young, beautiful maiden. 'by all means send for the maiden,' he said. he knew that she was the young daughter of a dyer, and that she went about alone and preached in the lanes and streets of the town. some thought she was mad, others said that she had visions. for him she might, anyhow, be better company than these dirty monks, who made him completely beside himself. the monks then went their way, and he was alone. shortly afterwards the door was again opened, but if she for whom they had sent had really entered the cell, she must have walked with very light footsteps, for he heard nothing. he lay on the floor just as he had thrown himself down in his great anger; now he was too tired to raise himself, or make a movement, or even to look up. his arms were tied together with ropes, which cut deep into his flesh. he now felt that someone began to loosen his bands; a warm hand touched his arm, and he looked up. beside him lay a little figure in the white dress of the dominicans, with head and neck so shrouded in a white veil that there was not more of her face to be seen than of that of a knight in helmet and closed visor. she did not look so meek by any means; she was evidently a little annoyed. he heard her murmur something about the gaolers who had tightened the bands. it did not appear as if she had come for any other purpose than these knots. she was only taken up with loosening them so that they did not hurt. at last she had to bite in them, and then she succeeded. she untied the cord with a light hand, and then took the little bottle which was suspended from her belt and poured a few drops upon the chafed skin. he lay the whole time and looked at her, but she did not meet his glance; it appeared as if she could think of nothing else but what she had between her hands. it was as if nothing were further from her thoughts than that she was there to prepare him for death. he felt so exhausted after his passion, and at the same time so quieted by her presence, that he only said: 'i think i will sleep.' 'it is a great shame that they have not given you any straw,' she said. for a moment she looked about undecided. then she sat down upon the floor, and placed his head in her lap. 'are you better now?' she said. never in his whole life had he felt such a rest. yet sleep he could not, but he lay and looked up in her face, which was like wax, and transparent. such eyes he had never seen before. they were always looking far, far away, gazing into another world, whilst she sat quite motionless, so as not to disturb his sleep. 'you are not sleeping, nicola tungo,' she said, and looked uneasy. 'i cannot sleep,' he replied, 'because i am wondering who you can be.' 'i am a daughter of luca benincasa the dyer, and his wife lapa,' she said. 'i know that,' he said, 'and i also know that you go about and preach in the streets. and i know that you have attired yourself in the dress of a nun, and have taken the vows of chastity. but yet i don't know who you are.' she turned her head away a little. then she said, whispering like one who confesses her first love: 'i am the bride of christ.' he did not laugh. on the contrary, he felt quite a pang in his heart, as from jealousy. 'oh, christ!' he said, as if she had thrown herself away. she heard that his tone was contemptuous, but she thought he meant that she had spoken too presumptuously. 'i do not understand it myself,' she said, 'but so it is.' 'is it an imagination or a dream?' he said. she turned her face towards him. the blood rose red behind the transparent skin. he saw suddenly that she was fair as a flower, and she became dear to him. he moved his lips as if to speak, but at first no sound came. 'how can you expect me to believe that?' he said defiantly. 'is it not enough for you that i am here in the prison with you?' she asked, raising her voice. 'is it any pleasure for a young girl like me to go to you and other evil-doers in their gloomy dungeons? is it usual for a woman to stand and preach at the street corners as i do, and to be held in derision? do i not require sleep as other people? and yet i must rise every night and go to the sick in the hospitals. am i not timid as other women? and yet i must go to the high-born gentlemen at their castles and reason with them, i must go to the plague-smitten, i must see all vice and sin. when have you seen another maiden do all this? but i am obliged to do it.' 'poor thing!' he said, and stroked her hand gently--'poor thing!' 'for i am not braver, or wiser, or stronger than others,' she said. 'it is just as hard for me as for other maidens. you can see that. i have come here to speak with you about your soul, but i do not at all know what i shall say to you.' it was strange how reluctantly he would allow himself to be convinced. 'you may be mistaken all the same,' he said. 'how do you know that you can call yourself the bride of christ?' her voice trembled, and it was as if she should tear out her heart when she replied: 'it began when i was quite young; i was not more than six years old. it was one evening when i was walking with my brother in the meadow below the church of the dominicans, and just as i looked up at the church i saw christ sitting on a throne, surrounded by all his power and glory. he was attired in shining white garments like the holy father in rome. his head was surrounded by all the splendour of paradise, and around him stood pietro paolo and the evangelist giovanni. and whilst i gazed upon him my heart was filled with such a love and holy joy that i could hardly bear it. he lifted his hand and blessed me, and i sank down on the meadow, and was so overcome with bliss, that my brother had to take me in his arms and shake me. and ever since that time, nicola tungo, i have loved jesus as a bridegroom.' he again objected. 'you were a child then. you had fallen asleep in the meadow and were dreaming.' 'dreaming?' she repeated. 'have i been dreaming all the time i have seen him? was it a dream when he came to me in the church in the likeness of a beggar and asked for alms? then i was wide awake, at any rate. and do you think that for the sake of a dream only i could have borne all the worries i have had to bear as a young girl because i would not marry?' nicola went on contradicting her because he could not bear the thought that her heart was filled with love to another. 'but even if you do love christ, maiden, how do you know that he loves you?' she smiled her very happiest smile and clapped her hands like a child. 'now you shall hear,' she said. 'now i will tell you the most important of all. it was the last night before lent. it was after my parents and i had been reconciled, and i had obtained their permission to take the vow of chastity and wear the dress of a nun, although i continued to live in their house; and it was night, as i told you, the last night of the carnival, when everybody turns night into day. there were fêtes in every street. on the walls of the big palaces hung balconies like cages, completely covered with silken hangings and banners, and filled with noble ladies. i saw all their beauty by the light of the red torches in their bronze-holders, the one row over the other quite up to the roof; and in the gaily decorated streets there was a train of carriages, with golden towers, and all the gods and goddesses, and all the virtues and beauties went by in a long procession. and everywhere there was such a play of masks and so much merriment that i am sure that you, sir, have never taken part in anything more gay. and i took refuge in my chamber, but still i heard laughter from the street, and never before have i heard people laugh like that; it was so clear and bell-like that everyone was obliged to join in it. and they sang songs which, i suppose, were wicked, but they sounded so innocent, and caused such pleasure, that one's heart trembled. then, in the middle of my prayers, i suddenly began to wonder why i was not out amongst them, and the thought fascinated and tempted me, as if i were dragged along by a runaway horse; but never before have i prayed so intensely to christ to show me what was his will with me. suddenly all the noise ceased, a great and wonderful silence surrounded me, and i saw a great meadow, where the mother of god sat amongst the flowers, and on her lap lay the child jesus, playing with lilies. but i hurried thither in great joy, and knelt before the child, and was at the same moment filled with peace and quietness, and then the holy child placed a ring on my finger, and said to me, "know, caterina, that to-day i celebrate my betrothal with thee, and bind thee to me by the strongest faith."' 'oh, caterina!' the young perugian had turned himself on the floor, so that he could bury his face in her lap. it was as if he could not bear to see how radiant she was whilst she was speaking, and now her eyes became bright as stars. a shadow of pain passed over him. for whilst she spoke a great sorrow had sprung up in his heart. this little maiden, this little white maiden, he could never win. her love belonged to another; it could never be his. it was of no use even to tell her that he loved her; but he suffered; his whole being groaned in love's agony. how could he bear to live without her? it almost became a consolation to remember that he was sentenced to death. it was not necessary for him to live and do without her. then the little woman beside him sighed deeply, and came back from the joys of heaven in order to think of poor human beings. 'i forgot to speak to you about your soul,' she said. then, he thought: 'this burden, at any rate, i can lighten for her.' 'sister caterina,' he said, 'i do not know how it is, but heavenly consolation has come to me. in god's name i will prepare for death. now you may send for the priests and monks; now i will confess to them. but one thing you must promise me before you go: you must come to me to-morrow, when i shall die, and hold my head between your hands as you are doing now.' when he said this she burst into tears, from a great feeling of relief, and an unspeakable joy filled her. 'how happy you must be, nicola tungo!' she said. 'you will be in paradise before i am;' and she stroked his face gently. he said again: 'you will come to me to-morrow in the market place? perhaps i shall otherwise be afraid; perhaps i cannot otherwise die with steadfastness. but when you are there i shall feel nothing but joy, and all fear will leave me.' 'you do not seem to me any more as a poor mortal,' she said, 'but as a dweller of paradise. you appear to me radiant with life, surrounded by incense. bliss comes to me from you, who shall so soon meet my beloved bridegroom. be assured i shall come.' she then led him to confession and the communion. he felt the whole time as if he were asleep. all the fear of death and the longing for life had passed away from him. he longed for the morning, when he should see her again; he thought only of her, and of the love with which she had inspired him. death seemed to him now but a slight thing compared with the pain of the thought that she would never love him. the young maiden did not sleep much during the night, and early in the morning she went to the place of execution, to be there when he came. she invoked jesu, mother, marie, and the holy caterina of egypt, virgin and martyr, incessantly with prayers to save his soul. incessantly she repeated: 'i will that he shall be saved--i will, i will.' but she was afraid that her prayers were unavailing, for she did not feel any longer that ecstasy which had filled her the evening before; she only felt an infinite pity for him who should die. she was quite overcome with grief and sorrow. little by little the market place filled with people. the soldiers marched up, the executioner arrived, and much noise and talking went on around her; but she saw and heard nothing. she felt as if she were quite alone. when nicola tungo arrived, it was just the same with him. he had no thought for all the others, but saw only her. when he saw at the first glance that she was entirely overcome with sorrow, his face beamed, and he felt almost happy. he called loudly to her: 'you have not slept much this night, maiden?' 'no,' she said; 'i have watched in prayer for you; but now i am in despair, for my prayers have no power.' he knelt down before the block, and she knelt so that she could hold his head in her hands. 'now i am going to your bridegroom, caterina.' she sobbed more and more. 'i can comfort you so badly,' she said. he looked at her with a strange smile. 'your tears are my best comfort.' the executioner stood with his sword drawn, but she bade him with a movement stand on one side, for she would speak a few words with the doomed man. 'before you came,' she said, 'i laid my head down on the block to try if i could bear it; and then i felt that i was still afraid of death, that i do not love jesus enough to be willing to die in this hour; and i do not wish you to die either, and my prayers have no power.' when he heard this he thought: 'had i lived i should have won her'; and he was glad he should die before he had succeeded in drawing the radiant heavenly bride down to earth. but when he had laid his head in her hands, a great consolation came to them both. 'nicola tungo,' she said, 'i see heaven open. the angels descend to receive your soul.' a wondering smile passed over his face. could what he had done for her sake make him worthy of heaven? he lifted his eyes to see what she saw; the same moment the sword fell. but caterina saw the angels descend lower and lower, saw them lift his soul, saw them carry it to heaven. * * * * * all at once it seemed so natural that caterina benincasa has lived all these five hundred years. how could one forget that gentle little maiden, that great loving heart? again and again they must sing in her praise, as they are now singing in the small chapels: 'pia mater et humilis, naturæ memor fragilis, in hujus vitæ fluctibus nos rege tuis precibus. quem vidi, quem amavi, in quem credidi, quem dilexi, ora pro nobis. ut digni efficiamur promessionibus christi! santa caterina, ora pro nobis!'[b] [b] pious and gentle mother, thou who knowest our weak nature, guide us by thy prayers through this life's vicissitudes. thou, whom i saw and loved, in whom i believed and whom i adored, pray for us, that we may be worthy of christ's promises. holy caterina, pray for us! _from a swedish_ homestead vi _the empress's_ money-chest _the empress's_ money-chest the bishop had summoned father verneau to appear before him. it was on account of a somewhat unpleasant matter. father verneau had been sent to preach in the manufacturing districts around charleroi, but he had arrived there in the midst of a strike, when the workmen were rather excited and unmanageable. he informed the bishop that he had immediately on his arrival in the black country received a letter from one of the leaders of the men to the effect that they were quite willing to hear him preach, but if he ventured to mention the name of god either directly or indirectly, there would be a disturbance in the church. 'and when i went up into the pulpit and saw the congregation to whom i should preach,' said the father, 'i felt no doubt but that the threat would be carried out.' father verneau was a little dried-up monk. the bishop looked down upon him as being of a lower order. such an unshaven, not too clean monk, with the most insignificant face, was, of course, a coward. he was, probably, also afraid of the bishop. 'i have been informed,' said the bishop, 'that you carried out the workmen's wishes. but i need not point out----' 'monseigneur,' interrupted father verneau in all humility, 'i thought the church, if possible, would avoid everything that might lead to a disturbance.' 'but a church that dare not mention the name of god----' 'has monseigneur heard my sermon?' the bishop walked up and down the floor to calm himself. 'you know it by heart, of course?' he said. 'of course, monseigneur.' 'let me hear it, then, as it was delivered, father verneau, word for word, exactly as you preached it.' the bishop sat down in his arm-chair. father verneau remained standing. '"citizens and citizenesses," he began in the tone of a lecturer. the bishop started. 'yes, that is how they will be addressed, monseigneur.' 'never mind, father verneau, only proceed.' the bishop shuddered slightly; these two words had suddenly shown him the whole situation. he saw before him this gathering of the children of the black country, to whom father verneau had preached. he saw many wild faces, many rags, much coarse merriment. he saw these people for whom nothing had been done. '"citizens and citizenesses," began father verneau afresh, "there is in this country an empress called maria theresa. she is an excellent ruler, the best and wisest belgium has ever had. other rulers, my fellow-citizens, other rulers have successors when they die, and lose all power over their people. not so the great empress maria theresa. she may have lost the throne of austria and hungary; brabant and limburg may now be under other rulers, but not her good province of west flanders. in west flanders, where i have lived the last few years, no other ruler is known to this very day than maria theresa. we know king leopold lives in brussels, but that has nothing to do with us. it is maria theresa who still reigns here by the sea, more especially in the fishing villages. the nearer one gets to the sea, the mightier becomes her power. neither the great revolution, nor the empire, nor the dutch have had the power to overthrow her. how could they? they have done nothing for the children of the sea that can compare with what she has done. but what has she not done for the people on the dunes! what an invaluable treasure, my fellow-citizens, has she not bestowed upon them! '"about one hundred and fifty years ago, in the early part of her reign, she made a journey through belgium. she visited brussels and bruges, she went to liege and louvain, and when she had at last seen enough of large cities and profusely ornamented town-halls, she went to the coast to see the sea and the dunes. '"it was not a very cheering sight for her. she saw the ocean, so vast and mighty that no man can fight against it. she saw the coast, helpless and unprotected. there lay the dunes, but the sea had washed over them before, and might do so again. there were also dams, but they had fallen down and were neglected. '"she saw harbours filled with sand; she saw marshes overgrown with rushes and weeds; she saw, below the dunes, fishing-huts ravaged by the wind--huts looking as if they had been thrown there, a prey for the sea; she saw poor old churches that had been moved away from the sea, lying between quicksands and lyme-grass, in desolate wastes. '"the great empress sat a whole day by the sea. she was told all about the floods and the towns that had been washed away; she was shown the spot where a whole district had sunk under the sea; she was rowed out to the place where an old church stood at the bottom of the sea; and she was told about all the people who had been drowned, and of all the cattle that had been lost, the last time the sea had overflowed the dunes. '"the whole day through the empress sat thinking: 'how shall i help these poor people on the dunes? i cannot forbid the sea to rise and fall; i cannot forbid it to undermine the shore; nor can i stay the storm, or prevent it from upsetting the fishermen's boats; and still less can i lead the fish into their nets, or transform the lyme-grass into nutritious wheat. there is no monarch in the world so mighty that he can help these poor people in their need.' '"the next day it was sunday, and the empress heard mass at blankenberghe. all the people from dunkirk to sluis had come to see her. but before mass the empress went about and spoke with the people. '"the first person she addressed was the harbour-master from nieuport. 'what news is there from your town?' asked the empress. 'nothing new,' answered the harbour-master, 'except that cornelis aertsen's boat was upset in the storm yesterday; and we found him this morning riding on the keel.' 'it was a good thing his life was saved,' said the empress. 'well, i don't know,' said the harbour-master, 'for he was out of his mind when he came on shore.' 'was it from fear?' asked the empress. 'yes,' said the harbour-master; 'it is because we in nieuport have nothing to depend upon in the hour of need. cornelis knew that his wife and his small children would starve to death if he perished; and it was this thought, i suppose, that drove him out of his mind.' 'then that is what you need here on the dunes--something to depend upon?' 'yes, that is it,' said the harbour-master. 'the sea is uncertain, the harvest is uncertain, the fishing and the earnings are uncertain. something to depend upon, that is what we need.' '"the empress then went on, and the next she spoke to was the priest from heyst. 'what news from heyst?' said she to him. 'nothing new,' he answered, 'except that jacob van ravesteyn has given up making ditches in the marshes, and dredging the harbour, and attending to the lighthouses, and all other useful work he had to do.' 'how is that?' said the empress. 'he has inherited a sum of money,' said the priest; 'but it was less than he had expected.' 'but now he has something certain,' said the empress. 'yes,' said the priest; 'but now he has got the money he dare not venture to do anything great for fear it will not be sufficient.' 'it is something infinitely great, then, that is needed to help you at heyst?' said the empress. 'it is,' said the priest; 'there is infinitely much to do. and nothing can be done until we know that we have something infinitely great to fall back upon.' '"the empress then went on until she came to the master-pilot from middelkerke, whom she began to question about the news from his town. 'i do not know of anything new,' said the master-pilot, 'but that ian van der meer has quarrelled with luca neerwinden.' 'indeed!' said the empress. 'yes, they have found the cod-bank they have both been looking for all their lives. they had heard about it from old people, and they had hunted for it all over the sea, and they have been the best of friends the whole time, but now they have found it they have fallen out.' 'then it would have been better if they had never found it?' said the empress. 'yes,' answered the master-pilot, 'it would indeed have been better.' 'so, then, that which is to help you in middelkerke,' said the empress, 'must be hidden so well that no one can find it?' 'just so,' said the master-pilot; 'well hidden it must be, for if anyone should find it, there would be nothing but quarrelling and strife over it, or else it would be all spent, and then it would be of no further use.' '"the empress sighed, and felt she could do nothing. '"she then went to mass, and the whole time she knelt and prayed that power might be given her to help the people. and--you must excuse me, citizens--when the mass was finished, it had become clear to her that it was better to do a little than to do nothing. when all the people had come out of the church, she stood on the steps in order to address them. '"no man or woman of west flanders will ever forget how she looked. she was beautiful, like an empress, and she was attired like an empress. she wore her crown and her ermine mantle, and held the sceptre in her hand. her hair was dressed high and powdered, and a string of large pearls was entwined amongst the curls. she wore a robe of red silk, which was entirely covered with flemish lace, and red, high-heeled shoes, with large diamond buckles. that is how she appears, she who to this day still reigns over our west flanders. '"she spoke to the people of the coast, and told them her will. she told them of how she had thought of every way in which to help them. she said that they knew she could not compel the sea to quietness or chain the storm, that she could not lead the fish-shoals to the coast, or transform the lyme-grass into wheat; but what a poor mortal could do for them, that should be done. '"they all knelt before her whilst she spoke. never before had they felt such a gentle and motherly heart beat for them. the empress spoke to them in such a manner about their hard and toilsome life that tears came into their eyes over her pity. '"but now the empress said she had decided to leave with them her imperial money-chest, with all the treasures which it contained. that should be her gift to all those who lived on the dunes. that was the only assistance she could render them, and she asked them to forgive her that it was so poor; and the empress herself had tears in her eyes when she said this. '"she now asked them if they would promise and swear not to use any of the treasure until the need amongst them was so great that it could not become any greater. next, if they would swear to leave it as an inheritance for their descendants, if they did not require it themselves. and, lastly, she asked every man singly to swear that he would not try to take possession of the treasure for his own use without having first asked the consent of all his fellow-fishermen. '"if they were willing to swear? that they all were. and they blessed the empress and cried from gratitude. and she cried and told them that she knew that what they needed was a support that would never fail them, a treasure that could never be exhausted, and a happiness that was unattainable, but that she could not give them. she had never been so powerless as here on the dunes. '"my fellow-citizens, without her knowing it, solely by force of the royal wisdom with which this great queen was endowed, the power was given her to attain far more than she had intended, and it is therefore one can say that to this day she reigns over west flanders. '"what a happiness, is it not, to hear of all the blessings which have been spread over west flanders by the empress's gift! the people there have now something to depend upon which they needed so badly, and which we all need. however bad things may be, there is never any despair. '"they have told me at the dunes what the empress's money-chest is like. they say it is like the holy shrine of saint ursula at bruges, only more beautiful. it is a copy of the cathedral at vienna, and it is of pure gold; but on the sides the whole history of the empress is depicted in the whitest alabaster. on the small side-towers are the four diamonds which the empress took from the crown of the sultan of turkey, and in the gable are her initials inlaid with rubies. but when i ask them whether they have seen the money-chest, they reply that shipwrecked sailors when in peril always see it swimming before them on the waves as a sign that they shall not be in despair for their wives and children, should they be compelled to leave them. but they are the only ones who have seen the treasure, otherwise no one has been near enough to count it. and you know, citizens, that the empress never told anyone how great it was. but if any of you doubt how much use it has been and is, then i will ask you to go to the dunes and see for yourself. there has been digging and building ever since that time, and the sea now lies cowed by bulwarks and dams, and no longer does harm. and there are green meadows inside the dunes, and there are flourishing towns and watering-places near the shore. but for every lighthouse that has been built, for every harbour that has been deepened, for every ship of which the keel has been laid, for every dam that has been raised, they have always thought: 'if our own money should not be sufficient, we shall receive help from our gracious empress maria theresa.' but this has been but a spur to them: their own money has always sufficed. '"you know, also, that the empress did not say where the treasure was. was not this well considered, citizens? there is one who has it in his keeping, but only, when all are agreed upon dividing it, will he who keeps the treasure come forward and reveal where it is. therefore one is certain that neither now nor in the future will it be unfairly divided. it is the same for all. everyone knows that the empress thinks as much of him as of his neighbour. there can be no strife or envy amongst the people of the dunes as there is amongst other men, for they all share alike in the treasure."' the bishop interrupted father verneau. 'that is enough,' he said. 'how did you continue?' 'i said,' continued the monk, 'that it was very bad the good empress had not also come to charleroi. i pitied them because they did not own her money-chest. considering the great things they had to accomplish, considering the sea which they had to tame, the quicksands which they had to bind, considering all this, i said to them surely there was nothing they needed so much.' 'and then?' asked the bishop. 'one or two cabbages, your eminence, a little hissing; but then i was already out of the pulpit. that was all.' 'they had understood that you had spoken to them about the providence of god?' the monk bowed. 'they had understood that you would show them that the power which they deride because they do not see it must be kept hidden? that it will be abused immediately it assumes a visible form? i congratulate you, father verneau.' the monk retired towards the door, bowing. the bishop followed him, beaming benevolently. 'but the money-chest--do they still believe in it at the dunes?' 'as much as ever, monseigneur.' 'and the treasure--has there ever been a treasure?' 'monseigneur, i have sworn.' 'but for me,' said the bishop. 'it is the priest at blankenberghe, who has it in his keeping. he allowed me to see it. it is an old wooden chest with iron mountings.' 'and?' 'and at the bottom lie twenty bright maria theresa gold pieces.' the bishop smiled, but became grave at once. 'is it right to compare such a wooden chest with god's providence?' 'all comparisons are incomplete, monseigneur; all human thoughts are vain.' father verneau bowed once again, and quietly withdrew from the audience-room. _from a swedish_ homestead vii _the_ peace _of_ god _the_ peace _of_ god once upon a time there was an old farmhouse. it was christmas-eve, the sky was heavy with snow, and the north wind was biting. it was just that time in the afternoon when everybody was busy finishing their work before they went to the bath-house to have their christmas bath. there they had made such a fire that the flames went right up the chimney, and sparks and soot were whirled about by the wind, and fell down on the snow-decked roofs of the outhouses. and as the flames appeared above the chimney of the bath-house, and rose like a fiery pillar above the farm, everyone suddenly felt that christmas was at hand. the girl that was scrubbing the entrance floor began to hum, although the water was freezing in the bucket beside her. the men in the wood-shed who were cutting christmas logs began to cut two at a time, and swung their axes as merrily as if log-cutting were a mere pastime. an old woman came out of the pantry with a large pile of cakes in her arms. she went slowly across the yard into the large red-painted dwelling-house, and carried them carefully into the best room, and put them down on the long seat. then she spread the tablecloth on the table, and arranged the cakes in heaps, a large and a small cake in each heap. she was a singularly ugly old woman, with reddish hair, heavy drooping eyelids, and with a peculiar strained look about the mouth and chin, as if the muscles were too short. but being christmas-eve, there was such a joy and peace over her that one did not notice how ugly she was. but there was one person on the farm who was not happy, and that was the girl who was tying up the whisks made of birch twigs that were to be used for the baths. she sat near the fireplace, and had a whole armful of fine birch twigs lying beside her on the floor, but the withes with which she was to bind the twigs would not keep knotted. the best room had a narrow, low window, with small panes, and through them the light from the bath-house shone into the room, playing on the floor and gilding the birch twigs. but the higher the fire burned the more unhappy was the girl. she knew that the whisks would fall to pieces as soon as one touched them, and that she would never hear the last of it until the next christmas fire was lighted. just as she sat there bemoaning herself, the person of whom she was most afraid came into the room. it was her master, ingmar ingmarson. he was sure to have been to the bath-house to see if the stove was hot enough, and now he wanted to see how the whisks were getting on. he was old, was ingmar ingmarson, and he was fond of everything old, and just because people were beginning to leave off bathing in the bath-houses and being whipped with birch twigs, he made a great point of having it done on his farm, and having it done properly. ingmar ingmarson wore an old coat of sheep's-skin, skin trousers, and shoes smeared over with pitch. he was dirty and unshaven, slow in all his movements, and came in so softly that one might very well have mistaken him for a beggar. his features resembled his wife's features and his ugliness resembled his wife's ugliness, for they were relations, and from the time the girl first began to notice anything she had learned to feel a wholesome reverence for anybody who looked like that; for it was a great thing to belong to the old family of the ingmars, which had always been the first in the village. but the highest to which a man could attain was to be ingmar ingmarson himself, and be the richest, the wisest, and the mightiest in the whole parish. ingmar ingmarson went up to the girl, took one of the whisks, and swung it in the air. it immediately fell to pieces; one of the twigs landed on the christmas table, another on the big four-poster. 'i say, my girl,' said old ingmar, laughing, 'do you think one uses that kind of whisk when one takes a bath at the ingmar's, or are you very tender, my girl?' when the girl saw that her master did not take it more seriously than that, she took heart, and answered that she could certainly make whisks that would not go to pieces if she could get proper withes to bind them with. 'then i suppose i must try to get some for you, my girl,' said old ingmar, for he was in a real christmas humour. he went out of the room, stepped over the girl who was scouring the floor, and remained standing on the doorstep, to see if there were anyone about whom he could send to the birch-wood for some withes. the farm hands were still busy cutting yule logs; his son came out of the barn with the christmas sheaf; his two sons-in-law were putting the carts into the shed so that the yard could be tidy for the christmas festival. none of them had time to leave their work. the old man then quietly made up his mind to go himself. he went across the yard as if he were going into the cowshed, looked cautiously round to make sure no one noticed him, and stole along outside the barn where there was a fairly good road to the wood. the old man thought it was better not to let anyone know where he was going, for either his son or his sons-in-law might then have begged him to remain at home, and old people like to have their own way. he went down the road, across the fields, through the small pine-forest into the birch-wood. here he left the road, and waded in the snow to find some young birches. about the same time the wind at last accomplished what it had been busy with the whole day: it tore the snow from the clouds, and now came rushing through the wood with a long train of snow after it. ingmar ingmarson had just stooped down and cut off a birch twig, when the wind came tearing along laden with snow. just as the old man was getting up the wind blew a whole heap of snow in his face. his eyes were full of snow, and the wind whirled so violently around him that he was obliged to turn round once or twice. the whole misfortune, no doubt, arose from ingmar ingmarson being so old. in his young days a snowstorm would certainly not have made him dizzy. but now everything danced round him as if he had joined in a christmas polka, and when he wanted to go home he went in the wrong direction. he went straight into the large pine-forest behind the birch-wood instead of going towards the fields. it soon grew dark, and the storm continued to howl and whirl around him amongst the young trees on the outskirts of the forest. the old man saw quite well that he was walking amongst fir-trees, but he did not understand that this was wrong, for there were also fir-trees on the other side of the birch-wood nearest the farm. but by-and-by he got so far into the forest that everything was quiet and still--one could not feel the storm, and the trees were high with thick stems--then he found out that he had mistaken the road, and would turn back. he became excited and upset at the thought that he _could_ lose his way, and as he stood there in the midst of the pathless wood he was not sufficiently clear-headed to know in which direction to turn. he first went to the one side and then to the other. at last it occurred to him to retrace his way in his own footprints, but darkness came on, and he could no longer follow them. the trees around him grew higher and higher. whichever way he went, it was evident to him that he got further and further into the forest. it was like witchcraft and sorcery, he thought, that he should be running about the woods like this all the evening and be too late for the bathing. he turned his cap and rebound his garter, but his head was no clearer. it had become quite dark, and he began to think that he would have to remain the whole night in the woods. he leant against a tree, stood still for a little, and tried to collect his thoughts. he knew this forest so well, and had walked in it so much, that he ought to know every single tree. as a boy he had gone there and tended sheep. he had gone there and laid snares for the birds. in his young days he had helped to fell trees there. he had seen old trees cut down and new ones grow up. at last he thought he had an idea where he was, and fancied if he went that and that way he must come upon the right road; but all the same, he only went deeper and deeper into the forest. once he felt smooth, firm ground under his feet, and knew from that, that he had at last come to some road. he tried now to follow this, for a road, he thought, was bound to lead to some place or other; but then the road ended at an open space in the forest, and there the snowstorm had it all its own way; there was neither road nor path, only drifts and loose snow. then the old man's courage failed him; he felt like some poor creature destined to die a lonely death in the wilderness. he began to grow tired of dragging himself through the snow, and time after time he sat down on a stone to rest; but as soon as he sat down he felt he was on the point of falling asleep, and he knew he would be frozen to death if he did fall asleep, therefore he tried to walk and walk; that was the only thing that could save him. but all at once he could not resist the inclination to sit down. he thought if he could only rest, it did not matter if it did cost him his life. it was so delightful to sit down that the thought of death did not in the least frighten him. he felt a kind of happiness at the thought that when he was dead the account of his whole life would be read aloud in the church. he thought of how beautifully the old dean had spoken about his father, and how something equally beautiful would be sure to be said about him. the dean would say that he had owned the oldest farm in the district, and he would speak about the honour it was to belong to such a distinguished family, and then something would be said about responsibility. of course there was responsibility in the matter; that he had always known. one must endure to the very last when one was an ingmar. the thought rushed through him that it was not befitting for him to be found frozen to death in the wild forest. he would not have that handed down to posterity; and he stood up again and began to walk. he had been sitting so long that masses of snow fell from his fur coat when he moved. but soon he sat down again and began to dream. the thought of death now came quite gently to him. he thought about the whole of the funeral and all the honour they would show his dead body. he could see the table laid for the great funeral feast in the large room on the first floor, the dean and his wife in the seats of honour, the justice of the peace, with the white frill spread over his narrow chest; the major's wife in full dress, with a low silk bodice, and her neck covered with pearls and gold; he saw all the best rooms draped in white--white sheets before the windows, white over the furniture; branches of fir strewn the whole way from the entrance-hall to the church; house-cleaning and butchering, brewing and baking for a fortnight before the funeral; the corpse on a bier in the inmost room; smoke from the newly-lighted fires in the rooms; the whole house crowded with guests; singing over the body whilst the lid of the coffin was being screwed on; silver plates on the coffin; twenty loads of wood burned in a fortnight; the whole village busy cooking food to take to the funeral; all the tall hats newly ironed; all the corn-brandy from the autumn drunk up during the funeral feast; all the roads crowded with people as at fair-time. again the old man started up. he had heard them sitting and talking about him during the feast. 'but how did he manage to go and get frozen to death?' asked the justice of the peace. 'what could he have been doing in the large forest?' and the captain would say that it was probably from christmas ale and corn-brandy. and that roused him again. the ingmars had never been drunkards. it should never be said of him that he was muddled in his last moments. and he began again to walk and walk; but he was so tired that he could scarcely stand on his legs. it was quite clear to him now that he had got far into the forest, for there were no paths anywhere, but many large rocks, of which he knew there were none lower down. his foot caught between two stones, so that he had difficulty in getting it out, and he stood and moaned. he was quite done for. suddenly he fell over a heap of fagots. he fell softly on to the snow and branches, so he was not hurt, but he did not take the trouble to get up again. he had no other desire in the world than to sleep. he pushed the fagots to one side and crept under them as if they were a rug; but when he pushed himself under the branches he felt that underneath there was something warm and soft. this must be a bear, he thought. he felt the animal move, and heard it sniff; but he lay still. the bear might eat him if it liked, he thought. he had not strength enough to move a single step to get out of its way. but it seemed as if the bear did not want to harm anyone who sought its protection on such a night as this. it moved a little further into its lair, as if to make room for its visitor, and directly afterwards it slept again with even, snorting breath. * * * * * in the meantime there was but scanty christmas joy in the old farm of the ingmars. the whole of christmas-eve they were looking for ingmar ingmarson. first they went all over the dwelling-house and all the outhouses. they searched high and low, from loft to cellar. then they went to the neighbouring farms and inquired for ingmar ingmarson. as they did not find him, his sons and his sons-in-law went into the fields and roads. they used the torches which should have lighted the way for people going to early service on christmas morning in the search for him. the terrible snowstorm had hidden all traces, and the howling of the wind drowned the sound of their voices when they called and shouted. they were out and about until long after midnight, but then they saw that it was useless to continue the search, and that they must wait until daylight to find the old man. at the first pale streak of dawn everybody was up at ingmar's farm, and the men stood about the yard ready to set out for the wood. but before they started the old housewife came and called them into the best room. she told them to sit down on the long benches; she herself sat down by the christmas table with the bible in front of her and began to read. she tried her best to find something suitable for the occasion, and chose the story of the man who was travelling from jerusalem to jericho, and fell among thieves. she read slowly and monotonously about the unfortunate man who was succoured by the good samaritan. her sons and sons-in-law, her daughters and daughters-in-law, sat around her on the benches. they all resembled her and each other, big and clumsy, with plain, old-fashioned faces, for they all belonged to the old race of the ingmars. they had all reddish hair, freckled skin, and light-blue eyes with white eyelashes. they might be different enough from each other in some ways, but they had all a stern look about the mouth, dull eyes, and heavy movements, as if everything were a trouble to them. but one could see that they all, every one of them, belonged to the first people in the neighbourhood, and that they knew themselves to be better than other people. all the sons and daughters of the house of ingmar sighed deeply during the reading of the bible. they wondered if some good samaritan had found the master of the house and taken care of him, for all the ingmars felt as if they had lost part of their own soul when a misfortune happened to anyone belonging to the family. the old woman read and read, and came to the question: 'who was neighbour unto him that fell amongst thieves?' but before she had read the answer the door opened and old ingmar came into the room. 'mother, here is father,' said one of the daughters; and the answer, that the man's neighbour was he who had shown mercy unto him, was never read. * * * * * later in the day the housewife sat again in the same place, and read her bible. she was alone; the women had gone to church, and the men were bear-hunting in the forest. as soon as ingmar ingmarson had eaten and drunk, he took his sons with him and went out to the forest; for it is every man's duty to kill a bear wherever and whenever he comes across one. it does not do to spare a bear, for sooner or later it will get a taste for flesh, and then it will spare neither man nor beast. but after they were gone a great feeling of fear came over the old housewife, and she began to read her bible. she read the lesson for the day, which was also the text for the pastor's sermon; but she did not get further than this: 'peace on earth, goodwill towards men.' she remained sitting and staring at these words with her dull eyes, now and again sighing deeply. she did not read any further, but she repeated time after time in her slow, drawling voice, 'peace on earth, goodwill towards men.' the eldest son came into the room just as she was going to repeat the words afresh. 'mother!' he said softly. she heard him, but did not take her eyes from the book whilst she asked: 'are you not with the others in the forest?' 'yes,' said he, still more softly, 'i have been there.' 'come to the table,' she said, 'so that i can see you.' he came nearer, but when she looked at him she saw that he was trembling. he had to press his hands hard against the edge of the table in order to keep them still. 'have you got the bear?' she asked again. he could not answer; he only shook his head. the old woman got up and did what she had not done since her son was a child. she went up to him, laid her hand on his arm, and drew him to the bench. she sat down beside him and took his hand in hers. 'tell me now what has happened, my boy.' the young man recognised the caress which had comforted him in bygone days when he had been in trouble and unhappy, and he was so overcome that he began to weep. 'i suppose it is something about father?' she said. 'it is worse than that,' the son sobbed. 'worse than that?' the young man cried more and more violently; he did not know how to control his voice. at last he lifted his rough hand, with the broad fingers, and pointed to what she had just read: 'peace on earth. . . .' 'is it anything about that?' she asked. 'yes,' he answered. 'is it anything about the peace of christmas?' 'yes.' 'you wished to do an evil deed this morning?' 'yes.' 'and god has punished us?' 'god has punished us.' so at last she was told how it had happened. they had with some trouble found the lair of the bear, and when they had got near enough to see the heap of fagots, they stopped in order to load their guns. but before they were ready the bear rushed out of its lair straight against them. it went neither to the right nor to the left, but straight for old ingmar ingmarson, and struck him a blow on the top of the head that felled him to the ground as if he had been struck by lightning. it did not attack any of the others, but rushed past them into the forest. * * * * * in the afternoon ingmar ingmarson's wife and son drove to the dean's house to announce his death. the son was spokesman, and the old housewife sat and listened with a face as immovable as a stone figure. the dean sat in his easy-chair near his writing-table. he had entered the death in the register. he had done it rather slowly; he wanted time to consider what he should say to the widow and the son, for this was, indeed, an unusual case. the son had frankly told him how it had all happened, but the dean was anxious to know how they themselves looked at it. they were peculiar people, the ingmars. when the dean had closed the book, the son said: 'we wanted to tell you, sir, that we do not wish any account of father's life to be read in church.' the dean pushed his spectacles over his forehead and looked searchingly at the old woman. she sat just as immovable as before. she only crumpled the handkerchief a little which she held in her hand. 'we wish to have him buried on a week day,' continued the son. 'indeed!' said the dean. he could hardly believe his own ears. old ingmar ingmarson to be buried without anyone taking any notice of it! the congregation not to stand on railings and mounds in order to see the display when he was being carried to the grave! 'there will not be any funeral feast. we have let the neighbours know that they need not think of preparing anything for the funeral.' 'indeed, indeed!' said the dean again. he could think of nothing else to say. he knew quite well what it meant for such people to forego the funeral feast. he had seen both widows and fatherless comforted by giving a splendid funeral feast. 'there will be no funeral procession, only i and my brothers.' the dean looked almost appealingly at the old woman. could she really be a party to all this? he asked himself if it could be her wishes to which the son had given expression. she was sitting there and allowing herself to be robbed of what must be dearer to her than gold and silver. 'we will not have the bells rung, or any silver plates on the coffin. mother and i wish it to be done in this way, but we tell you all this, sir, in order to hear, sir, if you think we are wronging father.' now the old woman spoke: 'we should like to hear if your reverence thinks we are doing father a wrong.' the dean remained silent, and the old woman continued, more eagerly: 'i must tell your reverence that if my husband had sinned against the king or the authorities, or if i had been obliged to cut him down from the gallows, he should all the same have had an honourable funeral, as his father before him, for the ingmars are not afraid of anyone, and they need not go out of their way for anybody. but at christmas god has made peace between man and beast, and the poor beast kept god's commandment, whilst we broke it, and therefore we now suffer god's punishment; and it is not becoming for us to show any ostentatious display.' the dean rose and went up to the old woman. 'what you say is right,' he said, 'and you shall follow the dictates of your own conscience.' and involuntarily he added, perhaps most to himself: 'the ingmars are a grand family.' the old woman straightened herself a little at these words. at that moment the dean saw in her the symbol of her whole race. he understood what it was that had made these heavy, silent people, century after century, the leaders of the whole parish. 'it behooves the ingmars to set the people a good example,' she said. 'it behooves us to show that we humble ourselves before god.' _from a swedish_ homestead viii _a_ story _from_ halstanäs _a_ story _from_ halstanäs in olden times there stood by the roadside an old country-house called halstanäs. it comprised a long row of red-painted houses, which were of low structure, and right behind them lay the forest. close to the dwelling-house was a large wild cherry-tree, which showered its black fruit over the red-tiled roof. a bell under a small belfry hung over the gable of the stables. just outside the kitchen-door was a dovecote, with a neat little trelliswork outside the holes. from the attic a cage for squirrels was hanging; it consisted of two small green houses and a large wheel, and in front of a big hedge of lilacs stood a long row of beehives covered with bark. there was a pond belonging to the farm, full of fat carp and slim water-snakes; there was also a kennel at the entrance; there were white gates at the end of the avenue, and at the garden walks, and in every place where they could possibly have a gate. there were big lofts with dark lumber-rooms, where old-fashioned uniforms and ladies' head-gear a hundred years old were stored away; there were large chests full of silk gowns and bridal finery; there were old pianos and violins, guitars and bassoons. in bureaus and cabinets were manuscript songs and old yellow letters; on the walls of the entrance-hall hung guns, pistols and hunting-bags; on the floor were rugs, in which patches of old silken gowns were woven together with pieces of threadbare cotton curtains. there was a large porch, where the deadly nightshade summer after summer grew up a thin trelliswork; there were large, yellow front-doors, which were fastened with bolts and catches; the hall was strewn with sprigs of juniper, and the windows had small panes and heavy wooden shutters. one summer old colonel beerencreutz came on a visit to this house. it is supposed to have been the very year after he left ekeby. at that time he had taken rooms at a farm at svartsjö, and it was only on rare occasions that he went visiting. he still had his horse and gig, but he scarcely ever used them. he said that he had grown old in earnest now, and that home was the best place for old people. beerencreutz was also loath to leave the work he had in hand. he was weaving rugs for his two rooms--large, many-coloured rugs in a rich and strangely-thought-out pattern. it took him an endless time, because he had his own way of weaving, for he used no loom, but stretched his wool from the one wall to the other right across the one room. he did this in order to see the whole rug at one time; but to cross the woof and afterwards bring the threads together to a firm web was no easy matter. and then there was the pattern, which he himself thought out, and the colours which should match. this took the colonel more time than anyone would have imagined; for whilst beerencreutz was busy getting the pattern right, and whilst he was working with warp and woof, he often sat and thought of god. our lord, he thought, was likewise sitting at a loom, still larger, and with an even more peculiar pattern to weave. and he knew that there must be both light and dark shades in that weaving. but beerencreutz would at times sit and think so long about this, until he fancied he saw before him his own life and the life of the people whom he had known, and with whom he had lived, forming a small portion of god's great weaving; and he seemed to see that piece so distinctly that he could discern both outlines and colouring. and if one asked beerencreutz what the pattern in his work really meant, he would be obliged to confess that it was the life of himself and his friends which he wove into the rug as a faint imitation of what he thought he had seen represented on god's loom. the colonel, however, was accustomed to pay a little visit to some old friends every year just after midsummer. he had always liked best to travel through the country when the fields were still scented with clover, and blue and yellow flowers grew along the roadside in two long straight rows. this year the colonel had hardly got to the great highroad before he met his old friend ensign von örneclou. and the ensign, who was travelling about all the year round, and who knew all the country houses in värmland, gave him some good advice. 'go to halstanäs and call upon ensign vestblad,' he said to the colonel. 'i can only tell you, old man, i don't know a house in the whole country where one fares better.' 'what vestblad are you speaking about?' asked the colonel. 'i suppose you don't mean the old ensign whom the major's wife showed the door?' 'the very man,' said the ensign. 'but vestblad is not the same man he was. he has married a fine lady--a real stunning woman, colonel--who has made a man of him. it was a wonderful piece of good luck for vestblad that such a splendid girl should take a fancy to him. she was not exactly young any longer; but no more was he. you should go to halstanäs, colonel, and see what wonders love can work.' and the colonel went to halstanäs to see if örneclou spoke the truth. he had, as a matter of fact, now and then wondered what had become of vestblad; in his young days he had kicked so recklessly over the traces that even the major's wife at ekeby could not put up with him. she had not been able to keep him at ekeby more than a couple of years before she was obliged to turn him out. vestblad had become such a heavy drinker that a cavalier could hardly associate with him. and now örneclou declared that he owned a country house, and had made an excellent match. the colonel consequently went to halstanäs, and saw at the first glance that it was a real old country-seat. he had only to look at the avenue of birches with all the names cut on the fine old trees. such birches he had only seen at good old country-houses. the colonel drove slowly up to the house, and every moment his pleasure increased. he saw lime hedges of the proper kind, so close that one could walk on the top of them, and there were a couple of terraces with stone steps so old that they were half buried in the ground. when the colonel drove past the pond, he saw indistinctly the dark carp in the yellowish water. the pigeons flew up from the road flapping their wings; the squirrel stopped its wheel; the watch-dog lay with its head on its paws, wagging its tail, and at the same time faintly growling. close to the porch the colonel saw an ant-hill, where the ants, unmolested, went to and fro--to and fro. he looked at the flower-beds inside the grass border. there they grew, all the old flowers: narcissus and pyrola, sempervivum and marigold; and on the bank grew small white daisies, which had been there so long that they now sowed themselves like weeds. beerencreutz again said to himself that this was indeed a real old country-house, where both plants and animals and human beings throve as well as could be. when at last he drove up to the front-door he had as good a reception as he could wish for, and as soon as he had brushed the dust off him he was taken to the dining-room, and he was offered plenty of good old-fashioned food--the same old cakes for dessert that his mother used to give him when he came home from school; and any so good he had never tasted elsewhere. beerencreutz looked with surprise at ensign vestblad. he went about quiet and content, with a long pipe in his mouth and a skull-cap on his head. he wore an old morning-coat, which he had difficulty in getting out of when it was time to dress for dinner. that was the only sign of the bohemian left, as far as beerencreutz could see. he went about and looked after his men, calculated their wages, saw how things were getting on in the fields and meadows, gathered a rose for his wife when he went through the garden, and he indulged no longer in either swearing or spitting. but what astonished the colonel most of all was the discovery that old ensign vestblad kept his books. he took the colonel into his office and showed him large books with red backs. and those he kept himself. he had lined them with red ink and black ink, written the headings with large letters, and put down everything, even to a stamp. but ensign vestblad's wife, who was a born lady, called beerencreutz cousin, and they soon found out the relationship between them; and they talked all their relatives over. at last beerencreutz became so intimate with mrs. vestblad that he consulted her about the rug he was weaving. it was a matter of course that the colonel should stay the night. he was taken to the best spare room to the right of the hall and close to his host's bedroom, and his bed was a large four-poster, with heaps of eiderdowns. the colonel fell asleep as soon as he got into bed, but awoke later on in the night. he immediately got out of bed and went and opened the window-shutters. he had a view over the garden, and in the light summer night he could see all the gnarled old apple-trees, with their worm-eaten leaves, and with numerous props under the decayed branches. he saw the large wild apple-tree, which in the autumn would give barrels of uneatable fruit; he saw the strawberries, which had just begun to ripen under their profusion of green leaves. the colonel stood and looked at it as if he could not afford to waste his time in sleeping. outside his window at the peasant farm where he lived all he could see was a stony hill and a couple of juniper-bushes; and it was natural that a man like beerencreutz should feel more at home amongst well-trimmed hedges and roses in bloom. when in the quiet stillness of the night one looks out upon a garden, one often has a feeling that it is not real and natural. it can be so still that one can almost fancy one's self in the theatre; one imagines that the trees are painted and the roses made of paper. and it was something like this the colonel felt as he stood there. 'it cannot be possible,' he thought, 'that all this is real. it can only be a dream.' but then a few rose-leaves fell softly to the ground from the big rose-tree just outside his window, and then he realized that everything was genuine. everything was real and genuine; both day and night the same peace and contentment everywhere. when he went and laid down again he left the window-shutters open. he lay in the high bed and looked time after time at the rose-tree; it is impossible to describe his pleasure in looking at it. he thought what a strange thing it was that such a man as vestblad should have this flower of paradise outside his window. the more the colonel thought of vestblad the more surprised he became that such a foal should end his days in such a stable. he was not good for much at the time he was turned away from ekeby. who would have thought he would have become a staid and well-to-do man? the colonel lay and laughed to himself, and wondered whether vestblad still remembered how he used to amuse himself in the olden days when he was living at ekeby. on dark and stormy nights he used to rub himself over with phosphorus, mount a black horse, and ride over the hills to the ironworks, where the smiths and the workmen lived; and if anyone happened to look out of his window and saw a horseman shining with a bluish-white light tearing past, he hastened to bar and bolt everywhere, saying it was best to say one's prayers twice that night, for the devil was abroad. oh yes, to frighten simple folks by such tricks was a favourite amusement in olden days; but vestblad had carried his jokes further than anyone else the colonel knew of. an old woman on the parish had died at viksta, which belonged to ekeby. vestblad happened to hear about this. he also heard that the corpse had been taken from the house and placed in a barn. at night vestblad put on his fiery array, mounted his black horse, and rode to the farmstead; and people there who were about had seen a fiery horseman ride up to the barn, where the corpse lay, ride three times round it and disappear through the door. they had also seen the horseman come out again, ride three times round the house and then disappear. but in the morning, when they went into the barn to see the corpse, it was gone, and they thought the devil had been there and carried her off. this supposition had been enough for them. but a couple of weeks later they found the body, which had been thrown on to a hay-loft in the barn, and then there was a great outcry. they found out who the fiery horseman was, and the peasants were on the watch to give vestblad a good hiding. but the major's wife would not have him at her table or in her house any longer; she packed his knapsack and asked him to betake himself elsewhere. and vestblad went out into the world and made his fortune. a strange feeling of uneasiness came over the colonel as he lay in bed. he felt as if something were going to happen. he had hardly realized before what an ugly story it was. he had no doubt even laughed at it at the time. they had not been in the habit of taking much notice of what happened to a poor old pauper in those days; but, great god! how furious one would have been if anybody had done that to one's own mother! a suffocating feeling came over the colonel; he breathed heavily. the thought of what vestblad had done appeared so vile and hateful to him, it weighed him down like a nightmare. he was half afraid of seeing the dead woman, of seeing her appear from behind the bed. he felt as if she must be quite near. and from the four corners of the room the colonel heard terrible words: 'god will not forgive it! god has never forgotten it!' the colonel closed his eyes, but then he suddenly saw before him god's great loom, where the web was woven with the fates of men; and he thought he saw ensign vestblad's square, and it was dark on three sides; and he, who understood something about weaving and patterns, knew that the fourth side would also have to be covered with the dark shade. it could not be done in any other way, otherwise there would be a mistake in the weaving. a cold sweat broke out on his forehead; it seemed to him that he looked upon what was the hardest and the most immovable in all the world. he saw how the fate which a man has worked out in his past life will pursue him to the end. and to think there were actually people who thought they could escape it! escape it! escape! all was noted and written down; the one colour and the one figure necessitated the other, and everything came about as it was bound to come about. suddenly colonel beerencreutz sat up in bed; he would look at the flowers and the roses, and think that perhaps our lord could forget after all. but at the moment beerencreutz sat up in bed the bedroom door opened, and one of the farm-labourers--a stranger to him--put his head in and nodded to the colonel. it was now so light that the colonel saw the man quite distinctly. it was the most hideous face he had ever seen. he had small gray eyes like a pig, a flat nose, and a thin, bristly beard. one could not say that the man looked like an animal, for animals have nearly always good faces, but still, he had something of the animal about him. his lower jaw projected, his neck was thick, and his forehead was quite hidden by his rough, unkempt hair. he nodded three times to the colonel, and every time his mouth opened with a broad grin; and he put out his hand, red with blood, and showed it triumphantly. up to this moment the colonel had sat up in bed as if paralyzed, but now he jumped up and was at the door in two steps. but when he reached the door, the fellow was gone and the door closed. the colonel was just on the point of raising the alarm, when it struck him that the door must be fastened on the inside, on his side, as he had himself locked it the night before; and on examining it, he found that it had not been unlocked. the colonel felt almost ashamed to think that in his old age he had begun to see ghosts. he went straight back to bed again. when the morning came, and he had breakfasted, the colonel felt still more ashamed. he had excited himself to such an extent that he had trembled all over and perspired from fear. he said not a word about it. but later on in the day he and vestblad went over the estate. as they passed a labourer who was cutting sods on a bank beerencreutz recognised him again. it was the man he had seen in the night. he recognised feature for feature. 'i would not keep that man a day longer in my service, my friend,' said beerencreutz, when they had walked a short distance. and he told vestblad what he had seen in the night. 'i tell you this simply to warn you, in order that you may dismiss the man.' but vestblad would not; he was just the man he would not dismiss. and when beerencreutz pressed him more and more, he at last confessed that he would not do anything to the man, because he was the son of an old pauper woman who had died at viksta close to ekeby. 'you no doubt remember the story?' he added. 'if that's the case, i would rather go to the end of the world than live another day with that man about the place,' said beerencreutz. an hour after he left, and was almost angry that his warning was not heeded. 'some misfortune will happen before i come here again,' said the colonel to vestblad, as he took leave. next year, at the same time, the colonel was preparing for another visit to halstanäs. but before he got so far, he heard some sad news about his friends. as the clock struck one, a year after the very night he had slept there, ensign vestblad and his wife had been murdered in their bedroom by one of their labourers--a man with a neck like a bull, a flat nose, and eyes like a pig. _from a swedish_ homestead ix _the_ inscription _on the_ grave _the_ inscription _on the_ grave nowadays no one ever takes any notice of the little cross standing in the corner of svartsjö churchyard. people on their way to and from church go past it without giving it a glance. this is not so very wonderful, because it is so low and small that clover and bluebells grow right up to the arms of the cross, and timothy-grass to the very top of it. neither does anyone think of reading the inscription which stands on the cross. the white letters are almost entirely washed out by the rain, and it never occurs to anyone to try and decipher what is still left, and try to make it out. but so it has not always been. the little cross in its time has been the cause of much surprise and curiosity. there was a time when not a person put his foot inside svartsjö churchyard without going up to look at it. and when one of the old people from those days now happens to see it, a whole story comes back to him of people and events that have been long forgotten. he sees before him the whole of svartsjö parish in the lethargic sleep of winter, covered by even white snow, quite a yard deep, so that it is impossible to discern road or pathway, or to know where one is going. it is almost as necessary to have a compass here as at sea. there is no difference between sea and shore. the roughest ground is as even as the field which in the autumn yielded such a harvest of oats. the charcoal-burner living near the great bogs might imagine himself possessed of as much cultivated land as the richest peasant. the roads have left their secure course between the gray fences, and are running at random across the meadows and along the river. even on one's own farm one may lose one's way, and suddenly discover that on one's way to the well one has walked over the spirea-hedge and round the little rose-bed. but nowhere is it so impossible to find one's way as in the churchyard. in the first place, the stone wall which separates it from the pastor's field is entirely buried under the snow, so with that it is all one; and secondly, the churchyard itself is only a simple large, white plain, where not even the smallest unevenness in the snow-cover betrays the many small mounds and tufts of the garden of the dead. on most of the graves are iron crosses, from which hang small, thin hearts of tin, which the summer wind sets in motion. these little hearts are now all hidden under the snow, and cannot tinkle their sad songs of sorrow and longing. people who work in the towns have brought back with them to their dead wreaths with flowers of beads and leaves of painted tin; and these wreaths are so highly treasured that they are kept in small glass cases on the graves. but now all this is hidden and buried under the snow, and the grave that possesses such an ornament is in no way more remarkable than any of the other graves. one or two lilac bushes raise their heads above the snow-cover, but their little stiff branches look so alike, that it is impossible to tell one from the other, and they are of no use whatever to anyone trying to find his way in the churchyard. old women who are in the habit of going on sundays to visit their graves can only get a little way down the main walk on account of the snow. there they stand, trying to make out where their own grave lies--is it near that bush, or that?--and they begin to long for the snow to melt. it is as if the one for whom they are sorrowing has gone so far away from them, now that they cannot see the spot where he lies. there are also a few large gravestones and crosses that are higher than the snow, but they are not many; and as these are also covered with snow, they cannot be distinguished either. there is only one pathway kept clear in the churchyard. it is the one leading from the entrance to the small mortuary. when anyone is to be buried the coffin is carried into the mortuary, and there the pastor reads the service and casts the earth upon the coffin. it is impossible to place the coffin in the ground as long as such a winter lasts. it must remain standing in the mortuary until god sees fit to thaw the earth, and the ground can be digged and made ready. * * * * * just when the winter was at its hardest, and the churchyard quite inaccessible, a child died at sander's, the ironmaster at lerum ironworks. the ironworks at lerum were large, and sander, the ironmaster, was a great man in that part of the country. he had recently had a family grave made in the churchyard--a splendid grave, the position of which one could not easily forget, although the snow had laid its thick carpet over it. it was surrounded by heavy, hewn stones, with a massive chain between them, and in the middle of the grave stood a huge granite block, with their name inscribed upon it. there was only the one word 'sander,' engraved in large letters, but it could be seen over the whole churchyard. but now that the child was dead, and was to be buried, the ironmaster said to his wife: 'i will not allow this child to lie in my grave.' one can picture them both at that moment. it was in their dining-room at lerum. the ironmaster was sitting at the breakfast-table alone, as was his wont. his wife, ebba sander, was sitting in a rocking-chair at the window, from where she had a wide view of the lake, with its small islands covered with birches. she had been weeping, but when her husband said this, her eyes became immediately dry. her little figure seemed to shrink from fear, and she began to tremble. 'what do you say? what are you saying?' she asked, and her voice sounded as if she were shivering from cold. 'i object to it,' he said. 'my father and my mother lie there, and the name "sander" stands on the stone. i will not allow that child to lie there.' 'oh,' she said, still trembling, 'is that what you have been thinking about? i always did think that some day you would have your revenge.' he threw down his serviette, rose from the table, and stood before her, broad and big. it was not his intention to assert his will with many words, but she could see, as he stood there, that nothing could make him change his mind. stern, immovable, obstinate he was from top to toe. 'i will not revenge myself,' he said, 'only i will not have it.' 'you speak as if it were only a question of removing him from one bed to the other,' she said. 'he is dead. it does not matter to him where he lies, i suppose; but for me it is ruin, you know.' 'i have also thought of that,' he said, 'but i cannot.' when two people have been married, and have lived together for some years, they do not require many words to understand one another. she knew it would be quite useless to try and move him. 'why did you forgive me, then?' she said, wringing her hands. 'why did you let me stay with you as your wife and promise to forgive me?' he knew that he would not do her any harm. it was not his fault that he had now reached the limit of his forbearance. 'say to people what you like,' he said; 'i shall not say anything. you can say, if you like, that there is water in the vault, or that there is only room for father and mother and you and me.' 'and you imagine that they will believe that!' 'well, you must manage that as best you can.' he was not angry; she knew that he was not. it was only as he said: on that point he could not give way. she went further into the room, put her hands at the back of her head, and sat gazing out of the window without saying anything. the terrible thing is that so much happens to one in life over which one has no control, and, above all, that something may spring up within one's self over which one is entirely powerless. some years ago, when she was already a staid married woman, love came to her; and what a love--so violent that it was quite impossible for her to resist. was not the feeling which now mastered her husband--was not that, after all, a desire to be revenged? he had never been angry with her. he forgave her at once when she came and confessed her sin. 'you have been out of your senses,' he said, and allowed her to remain with him at lerum as if nothing had happened. but although it is easy enough to say one forgives, it may be hard to do so, especially for one whose mind is slow and heavy, who ponders over but never forgets or gives vent to his feelings. whatever he may say, and however much he may have made up his mind, something is always left within his heart which gnaws and longs to be satisfied with someone else's suffering. she had always had a strange feeling that it would have been better for her if he had been so enraged that he had struck her. then, perhaps, things could have come right between them. all these years he had been morose and irritable, and she had become frightened. she was like a horse between the traces. she knew that behind her was one who held a whip over her, even if he did not use it; and now he had used it. he had not been able to refrain any longer. and now it was all over with her. those who were about her said they had never seen such sorrow as hers. she seemed to be petrified. the whole time before the funeral it was as if there were no real life in her. one could not tell if she heard what was said to her, if she had any idea who was speaking to her. she did not eat; it was as if she felt no hunger. she went out in the bitterest cold; she did not feel it. but it was not grief that petrified her--it was fear. it never struck her for a moment to stay at home on the day of the funeral. she must go to the churchyard, she must walk in the funeral procession--must go there, feeling that all who were present expected that the body would be laid in the family vault of the sanders. she thought she would sink into the ground at all the surprise and scorn which would rise up against her when the grave-digger, who headed the procession, led the way to an out-of-the-way grave. an outburst of astonishment would be heard from everybody, although it was a funeral procession: 'why is the child not going to be buried in the sanders' family vault?' thoughts would go back to the vague rumours which were once circulated about her. 'there must have been something in them, after all,' people will whisper to each other. and before the mourners left the churchyard she would be condemned and lost. the only thing for her to do was to be present herself. she would go there with a quiet face, as if everything was as it ought to be. then, perhaps, they might believe what she said to explain the matter. . . . her husband went with her to the church; he had looked after everything, invited people, ordered the coffin, and arranged who should be the bearers. he was kind and good now that he had got his own way. it was on a sunday. the service was over, and the mourners had assembled outside the porch, where the coffin was standing. the bearers had placed the white bands over their shoulders; all people of any position had joined in the procession, as did also many of the congregation. she had a feeling as if they had all gathered together in order to accompany a criminal to the scaffold. how they would all look at her when they came back from the funeral! she was there to prepare them for what was to happen, but she had not been able to utter a single word. she felt quite unable to speak quietly and sensibly. there was only one thing she wanted: to scream and moan so violently and loudly that it could be heard all over the churchyard; and she had to bite her lips so as not to cry out. the bells commenced to ring in the tower, and the procession began to move. now all these people would find it out without the slightest preparation. oh, why had she not spoken in time? she had to restrain herself to the utmost from shouting out and telling them that they must not go to the grave with the dead child. those who are dead are dead and gone. why should her whole life be spoiled for the sake of this dead child? they could put him in the earth, where they liked, only not in the churchyard. she had a confused idea that she would frighten them away from the churchyard; it was risky to go there; it was plague-smitten; there were marks of a wolf in the snow; she would frighten them as one frightens children. she did not know where they had digged the child's grave. she would know soon enough, she thought; and when the procession entered the churchyard, she glanced around the snow-covered ground to see where there was a new grave; but she saw neither path nor grave--nothing but the white snow. and the procession advanced towards the small mortuary. as many as possibly could pressed into the building and saw the earth cast on to the coffin. there was no question whatever about this or that grave. no one found out that the little one which was now laid to rest was never to be taken to the family vault. had she but thought of that, had she not forgotten everything else in her fear and terror, then she need not have been afraid, not for a single moment. 'in the spring,' she thought, 'when the coffin has to be placed in the ground, there will probably be no one there except the grave-digger; everybody will think that the child is lying in the sanders' vault.' and she felt that she was saved. she sank down sobbing violently. people looked at her with sympathy. 'how terribly she felt it!' they said. but she herself knew that she cried like one who has escaped from a mortal danger. a day or two after the funeral she was sitting in the twilight in her accustomed place in the dining-room, and as it grew darker she caught herself waiting and longing. she sat and listened for the child; that was the time when he always used to come in and play with her. why did he not come that day? then she started. 'oh, he is dead, he is dead!' the next day she sat again in the twilight, and longed for him, and day by day this longing grew. it grew as the light does in the springtime, until at last it filled all the hours both of day and night. it almost goes without saying that a child like hers was more loved after death than whilst it was living. while it was living its mother had thought of nothing but regaining the trust and the love of her husband. and for him the child could never be a source of happiness. it was necessary to keep it away from him as much as possible; and the child had often felt he was in the way. she, who had failed in and neglected her duty, would show her husband that she was worth something after all. she was always about in the kitchen and in the weaving-room. where could there be any room, then, for the little boy? but now, afterwards, she remembered how his eyes could beg and beseech. in the evening he liked so much to have her sitting at his bedside. he said he was afraid to lie in the dark; but now it struck her that that had probably only been an excuse to get her to stay with him. she remembered how he lay and tried not to fall asleep. now she knew that he kept himself awake in order that he might lie a little longer and feel his hand in hers. he had been a shrewd little fellow, young as he was. he had exerted all his little brain to find out how he could get a little share of her love. it is incomprehensible that children can love so deeply. she never understood it whilst he was alive. it was really first now that she had begun to love the child. it was first now that she was really impressed by his beauty. she would sit and dream of his big, strange eyes. he had never been robust and ruddy like most children, but delicate and slender. but how sweet he had been! he seemed to her now as something wonderfully beautiful--more and more beautiful for every day that went. children were indeed the best of all in this world. to think that there were little beings stretching out their hands to everybody, and thinking good of all; that never ask if a face be plain or pretty, but are equally willing to kiss either, loving equally old and young, rich and poor. and yet they were real little people. for every day that went she was drawn nearer and nearer to the child. she wished that the child had been still alive; but, on the other hand, she was not sure that in that case she would have been drawn so near to it. at times she was quite in despair at the thought that she had not done more for the child whilst he was alive. that was probably why he had been taken from her, she thought. but it was not often that she sorrowed like this. earlier in life she had always been afraid lest some great sorrow should overtake her, but now it seemed to her that sorrow was not what she had then thought it to be. sorrow was only to live over and over again through something which was no more. sorrow in her case was to become familiar with her child's whole being, and to seek to understand him. and that sorrow had made her life so rich. what she was most afraid of now was that time would take him from her and wipe out the memory of him. she had no picture of him; perhaps his features little by little would fade for her. she sat every day and tried to think how he looked. 'do i see him exactly as he was?' she said. week by week, as the winter wore away, she began to long for the time when he would be taken from the mortuary and buried in the ground, so that she could go to his grave and speak with him. he should lie towards the west, that was the most beautiful, and she would deck the grave with roses. there should also be a hedge round the grave, and a seat where she could sit often and often. people would perhaps wonder at it; but they were not to know that her child did not lie in the family grave; and they were sure to think it strange that she placed flowers on an unknown grave and sat there for hours. what could she say to explain it? sometimes she thought that she could, perhaps, do it in this way: first she would go to the big grave and place a large bouquet of flowers on it, and remain sitting there for some time, and afterwards she would steal away to the little grave; and he would be sure to be content with the little flower she would secretly give him. but even if he were satisfied with the one little flower, could she be? could she really come quite near to him in this way? would he not notice that she was ashamed of him? would he not understand what a disgrace his birth had been to her? no, she would have to protect him from that. he must only think that the joy of having possessed him weighed against all the rest. at last the winter was giving way. one could see the spring was coming. the snow-cover began to melt, and the earth to peep out. it would still be a week or two before the ground was thawed, but it would not be long now before the dead could be taken away from the mortuary. and she longed--she longed so exceedingly for it. could she still picture to herself how he looked? she tried every day; but it was easier when it was winter. now, when the spring was coming, it seemed as if he faded away from her. she was filled with despair. if she were only soon able to sit by his grave and be near to him again, then she would be able to see him again, to love him. would he never be laid in his little grave? she must be able to see him again, see him through her whole life; she had no one else to love. at last all her fears and scruples vanished before this great longing. she loved, she loved; she could not live without the dead! she knew now that she could not consider anybody or anything but him--him alone. and when the spring came in earnest, when mounds and graves once again appeared all over the churchyard, when the little hearts of the iron crosses again began to tinkle in the wind, and the beaded wreaths to sparkle in their glass cases, and when the earth at last was ready to receive the little coffin, she had ready a black cross to place on his grave. on the cross from arm to arm was written in plain white letters, 'here rests my child,' and underneath, on the stem of the cross, stood her name. she did not mind that the whole world would know how she had sinned. other things were of no consequence to her; all she thought about was that she would now be able to pray at the grave of her child. _from a swedish_ homestead x _the_ brothers _the_ brothers it is very possible that i am mistaken, but it seems to me that an astonishing number of people die this year. i have a feeling that i cannot go down the street without meeting a hearse. one cannot help thinking about all those who are carried to the churchyard. i always feel as if it were so sad for the dead who have to be buried in towns. i can hear how they moan in their coffins. some complain that they have not had plumes on the hearse; some count up the wreaths, and are not satisfied; and then there are some who have only been followed by two or three carriages, and who are hurt by it. the dead ought never to know and experience such things; but people in towns do not at all understand how they ought to honour those who have entered into eternal rest. when i really think over it i do not know any place where they understand it better than at home in svartsjö. if you die in the parish of svartsjö you know you will have a coffin like that of everyone else--an honest black coffin which is like the coffins in which the country judge and the local magistrate were buried a year or two ago. for the same joiner makes all the coffins, and he has only one pattern; the one is made neither better nor worse than the other. and you know also, for you have seen it so many times, that you will be carried to the church on a waggon which has been painted black for the occasion. you need not trouble yourself at all about any plumes. and you know that the whole village will follow you to the church, and that they will drive as slowly and as solemnly for you as for a landed proprietor. but you will have no occasion to feel annoyed because you have not enough wreaths, for they do not place a single flower on the coffin; it shall stand out black and shining, and nothing must cover it; and it is not necessary for you to think whether you will have a sufficiently large number of people to follow you, for those who live in your town will be sure to follow you, every one. nor will you be obliged to lie and listen if there is lamenting and weeping around your coffin. they never weep over the dead when they stand on the church hill outside svartsjö church. no, they weep as little over a strong young fellow who falls a prey to death just as he is beginning to provide for his old people as they will for you. you will be placed on a couple of black trestles outside the door of the parish room, and a whole crowd of people will gradually gather round you, and all the women will have handkerchiefs in their hands. but no one will cry; all the handkerchiefs will be kept tightly rolled up; not one will be applied to the eyes. you need not speculate as to whether people will shed as many tears over you as they would over others. they would cry if it were the proper thing, but it is not the proper thing. you can understand that if there were much sorrowing over one grave, it would not look well for those over whom no one sorrowed. they know what they were about at svartsjö. they do as it has been the custom to do there for many hundred years. but whilst you stand there, on the church hill, you are a great and important personage, although you receive neither flowers nor tears. no one comes to church without asking who you are, and then they go quietly up to you and stand and gaze at you; and it never occurs to anyone to wound the dead by pitying him. no one says anything but that it is well for him that it is all over. it is not at all as it is in a town, where you can be buried any day. at svartsjö you must be buried on a sunday, so that you can have the whole parish around you. there you will have standing near your coffin both the girl with whom you danced at the last midsummer night's festival and the man with whom you exchanged horses at the last fair. you will have the schoolmaster who took so much trouble with you when you were a little lad, and who had forgotten you, although you remembered him so well; and you will have the old member of parliament who never before thought it worth his while to bow to you. this is not as in a town, where people hardly turn round when you are carried past. when they bring the long bands and place them under the coffin, there is not one who does not watch the proceedings. you cannot imagine what a churchwarden we have at svartsjö. he is an old soldier, and he looks like a field-marshal. he has short white hair and twisted moustaches, and a pointed imperial; he is slim and tall and straight, with a light and firm step. on sundays he wears a well-brushed frock-coat of fine cloth. he really looks a very fine old gentleman, and it is he who walks at the head of the procession. then comes the verger. not that the verger is to be compared with the churchwarden. it is more than probable that his sunday hat is too large and old-fashioned; as likely as not he is awkward--but when is a verger not awkward? then you come next in your coffin, with the six bearers, and then follow the clergyman and the clerk and the town council and the whole parish. all the congregation will follow you to the churchyard, you may be sure of that. but i will tell you something: all those who follow you look so small and poor. they are not fine town's-people, you know--only plain, simple svartsjö folk. there is only one who is great and important, and that is you in your coffin--you who are dead. the others the next day will have to resume their heavy and toilsome work. they will have to live in poor old cottages and wear old, patched clothes; the others will always be plagued and worried, and dragged down and humbled by poverty. those who follow you to your grave become far more sad by looking at the living than by thinking of you who are dead. you need not look any more at the velvet collar of your coat to see if it is not getting worn at the edges; you need not make a special fold of your silk handkerchief to hide that it is beginning to fray; you will never more be compelled to ask the village shopkeeper to let you have goods on credit; you will not find out that your strength is failing; you will not have to wait for the day when you must go on the parish. while they are following you to the grave everyone will be thinking that it is best to be dead--better to soar heavenwards, carried on the white clouds of the morning--than to be always experiencing life's manifold troubles. when they come to the wall of the churchyard, where the grave has been made, the bands are exchanged for strong ropes, and people get on to the loose earth and lower you down. and when this has been done the clerk advances to the grave and begins to sing: 'i walk towards death.' he sings the hymn quite alone; neither the clergyman nor any of the congregation help him. but the clerk must sing; however keen the north wind and however glaring the sun which shines straight in his face, sing he does. the clerk, however, is getting old now, and he has not much voice left; he is quite aware that it does not sound as well now as formerly when he sang people into their graves; but he does it all the same--it is part of his duty. for the day, you understand, when his voice quite fails him, so that he cannot sing any more, he must resign his office, and this means downright poverty for him. therefore the whole gathering stands in apprehension while the old clerk sings, wondering whether his voice will last through the whole verse. but no one joins him, not a single person, for that would not do; it is not the custom. people never sing at a grave at svartsjö. people do not sing in the church either, except the first hymn on christmas day morning. still, if one listened very attentively, one could hear that the clerk does not sing alone. there really is another voice, but it sounds so exactly the same that the two voices blend as if they were only one. the other who sings is a little old man in a long, coarse gray coat. he is still older than the clerk, but he gives out all the voice he has to help him. and the voice, as i have told you, is exactly the same kind as the clerk's; they are so alike one cannot help wondering at it. but when one looks closer, the little gray old man is also exactly like the clerk; he has the same nose and chin and mouth, only somewhat older, and, as it were, more hardly dealt with in life. and then one understands that the little gray man is the clerk's brother; and then one knows why he helps him. for, you see, things have never gone well with him in this world, and he has always had bad luck; and once he was made a bankrupt, and brought the clerk into his misfortunes. he knows that it is his fault that his brother has always had to struggle. and the clerk, you know, has tried to help him on to his legs again, but with no avail, for he has not been one of those one can help. he has always been unfortunate; and then, he has had no strength of purpose. but the clerk has been the shining light in the family; and for the other it has been a case of receiving and receiving, and he has never been able to make any return at all. great god! even to talk of making any return--he who is so poor! you should only see the little hut in the forest where he lives. he knows that he has always been dull and sad, only a burden--only a burden for his brother and for others. but now of late he has become a great man; now he is able to give some return. and that he does. now he helps his brother, the clerk, who has been the sunshine and life and joy for him all his days. now he helps him to sing, so that he may keep his office. he does not go to church, for he thinks that everyone looks at him because he has no black sunday clothes; but every sunday he goes up to the church to see whether there is a coffin on the black trestles outside the parish room; and if there is one he goes to the grave, in spite of his old gray coat, and helps his brother with his pitiful old voice. the little old man knows very well how badly he sings; he places himself behind the others, and does not push forward to the grave. but sing he does; it would not matter so much if the clerk's voice should fail on one or other note, his brother is there and helps him. at the churchyard no one laughs at the singing; but when people go home and have thrown off their devoutness, then they speak about the service, and then they laugh at the clerk's singing--laugh both at his and his brother's. the clerk does not mind it, it is the same to him; but his brother thinks about it and suffers from it; he dreads the sunday the whole week, but still he comes punctually to the churchyard and does his duty. but you in your coffin, you do not think so badly of the singing. you think that it is good music. is it not true that one would like to be buried in svartsjö, if only for the sake of that singing? it says in the hymn that life is but a walk towards death, and when the two old men sing this--the two who have suffered for each other during their whole life--then one understands better than ever before how wearisome it is to live, and one is so entirely satisfied with being dead. and then the singing stops, and the clergyman throws earth on the coffin and says a prayer over you. then the two old voices sing: 'i walk towards heaven.' and they do not sing this verse any better than the former; their voices grow more feeble and querulous the longer they sing. but for you a great and wide expanse opens, and you soar upwards with tremulous joy, and everything earthly fades and disappears. but still the last which you hear of things earthly tells of faithfulness and love. and in the midst of your trembling flight the poor song will awake memories of all the faithfulness and love you have met with here below, and this will bear you upwards. this will fill you with radiance and make you beautiful as an angel. the end. [illustration] the country life press garden city, n. y. transcriber's note: in this latin-1 text version: text in italics is marked with underscores, e.g. _italics_ text in small capitals is shown in upper-case. hyphenation is inconsistent, for example sheepskin, sheep-skin and sheep's-skin all occur. these have been left as printed. on page 184 "... and the nip reddened on the naked branch of the hawthorn" has been left as printed, however the original swedish talks of nyponet (rosehip) and törnbuskens (rosehip and thornbush), rather than nip and hawthorn. changes that have been made are: page 4 from: then i feel that i must speak to: then i feel that i must speak. page 55 from: the newly-buried birl to: the newly-buried girl page 94 from: the everlasting unrest that tormened him to: the everlasting unrest that tormented him page 124 from: why had be been unhappy? to: why had he been unhappy? page 229 from: found friends in the solitude above to: found friends in the solitude above. page 264 from: guilietta lombardi to: giulietta lombardi page 328 from: the snow had laid its thinck carpet to: the snow had laid its thick carpet 