







 
   
     
       
         A solemne ioviall disputation, theoreticke and practicke; briefely shadowing the lavv of drinking together, with the solemnities and controversies occurring: fully and freely discussed according to the civill lavv. Which, by the permission, priviledge and authority, of that most noble and famous order in the Vniversity of Goddesse Potina; Dionisius Bacchus being then president, chiefe gossipper, and most excellent governour, Blasius Multibibus, aliàs Drinkmuch ... hath publikely expounded to his most approved and improved fellow-pot-shots; touching the houres before noone and after, usuall and lawfull. ... Faithfully rendred according to the originall Latine copie.
         Disputatio inauguralis theoretico-practica jus potandi breviter adumbrans. English
         Multibibus, Blasius.
      
       
         
           1617
        
      
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         A16679
         STC 3585
         ESTC S106117
         99841842
         99841842
         6456
         
           
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         Early English books online.
      
       
         (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A16679)
         Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 6456)
         Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 656:09)
      
       
         
           
             A solemne ioviall disputation, theoreticke and practicke; briefely shadowing the lavv of drinking together, with the solemnities and controversies occurring: fully and freely discussed according to the civill lavv. Which, by the permission, priviledge and authority, of that most noble and famous order in the Vniversity of Goddesse Potina; Dionisius Bacchus being then president, chiefe gossipper, and most excellent governour, Blasius Multibibus, aliàs Drinkmuch ... hath publikely expounded to his most approved and improved fellow-pot-shots; touching the houres before noone and after, usuall and lawfull. ... Faithfully rendred according to the originall Latine copie.
             Disputatio inauguralis theoretico-practica jus potandi breviter adumbrans. English
             Multibibus, Blasius.
             Brathwaite, Richard, 1588?-1673. aut
             Marshall, William, fl. 1617-1650, ill.
          
           [8], 80, [6], 87-194, [6] p., 2 leaves of plates
           
             At the signe of Red-eyes [i.e. printed by E. Griffin],
             Oenozphthopolis [i.e. London] :
             MDCXVII [1617]
          
           
             The imprint is fictitious; in fact printed in London by E. Griffin (STC).
             The "ph" in "Oenozphthopolis" is a Greek letter phi. The place name is probably a mistranscription of "Oenozytholpoli" in a Latin edition.
             The roman numeral date is made with turned C's.
             "The smoaking age, or, the man in the mist" has separate dated title page with imprint "Oenozphthopolis. At the signe of Teare-nose. MDCXVII."; pagination and register are continuous.
             "A solemn joviall disputation" is sometimes attributed to Richard Brathwait, but is in fact his translation, with additions, of the pseudonymous "Disputatio inauguralis theoretico-practica jus potandi breviter adumbrans" by Blasius Multibibus (pseudonym). "The smoaking age" is apparently Brathwait's alone.
             The plates, signed by William Marshall, bear the titles "The lawes of drinking." and "The smoaking age or the life and death of tobacco.".
             "At least 1 NY-Arents copy has a leaf of letterpress explanation preceding each frontispiece, lacking in most (all other?) copies."--STC. These are not included in pagination above.
             Reproduction of the original in Cambridge University Library (second part only).
          
        
      
    
     
       
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         eng
      
       
         
           Drinking of alcoholic beverages -- Early works to 1800.
           Tobacco -- Early works to 1800.
           Smoking -- Early works to 1800.
        
      
    
     
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               THE
               Smoaking
               Age
               ,
               OR
               ,
               The
               man
               in
               the
               mist
               :
               WITH
               The
               life
               and
               death
               of
               Tobacco
               .
            
             
               Dedicated
            
             
               To
               those
               three
               renowned
               and
               imparallel'd
               Heroes
               ,
               Captaine
               WHIFFE
               ,
               Captaine
               PIPE
               ,
               and
               Captaine
               SNUFFE
               .
            
             
               To
               whom
               the
               Author
               wisheth
               as
               much
               content
               ,
               as
               this
               
                 Smoaking
                 Age
              
               can
               afford
               them
               .
            
             
               Divided
               into
               three
               Sections
               .
            
             
               
                 1.
                 
                 The
                 Birth
                 of
                 Tobacco
                 .
              
               
                 2.
                 
                 PLUTO'S
                 blessing
                 to
                 Tobacco
                 .
              
               
                 3.
                 
                 TIMES
                 complaint
                 against
                 Tobacco
                 .
              
            
             
               Satis
               mi●…ipauci
               lectores
               ,
               satis
               est
               unus
               ,
               satis
               est
               Nullus
               .
            
             
               Upon
               TOBACCO
               .
            
             
               
                 This
                 some
                 affirme
                 ,
                 yet
                 yeeld
                 I
                 not
                 to
                 that
                 ,
              
               
                 'T
                 will
                 make
                 a
                 fat
                 man
                 leane
                 ,
                 a
                 leane
                 man
                 fat
                 ,
              
               
                 But
                 this
                 I
                 'm
                 sure
                 (
                 hows'ere
                 it
                 be
                 they
                 meane
                 )
              
               
                 That
                 many
                 whiffes
                 will
                 make
                 a
                 fat
                 man
                 leane
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 〈◊〉
                 〈◊〉
                 〈◊〉
                 〈◊〉
                 〈◊〉
              
               .
            
             
               At
               the
               Signe
               of
               Teare-Nose
               .
            
             
               M.
               D.
               CXVII
               .
            
          
           
             
             
               Upon
               the
               Errata's
               .
            
             
               The
               Authors
               absence
               ,
               with
               the
               intricacie
               of
               this
               copie
               ,
               caused
               these
               Escapes
               here
               committed
               ,
               to
               be
               so
               many
               .
               But
               no
               wonder
               ,
               if
               Subjects
               of
               this
               Nature
               become
               subject
               to
               Error
               ,
               when
               they
               tre●…
               of
               so
               giddie
               an
               humour
               ,
               as
               Liquour
               and
               Vapour
               .
               Correct
               them
               ,
               as
               you
               shall
               meet
               them
               ,
               with
               a
               consorious
               candor
               .
            
             
               PAg.
               12.
               lin
               .
               22.
               for
               abilished
               ,
               read
               abolished
               .
               p.
               24.
               l.
               8.
               for
               priv●…tion
               ,
               read
               privation
               .
               p.
               53.
               l.
               6.
               for
               Ference
               ,
               r.
               Terence
               .
               p.
               6●…
               .
               l.
               20.
               for
               you
               ,
               r.
               him
               .
               p.
               66.
               l.
               7.
               for
               
                 Flap
                 dragon
              
               ,
               r.
               Slap-dragon
               .
               p.
               76.
               l.
               1.
               to
               deleatur
               .
               p.
               78.
               l.
               14.
               of
               suppleatur
               .
               p.
               79.
               l.
               23.
               for
               defie
               ,
               r.
               define
               .
               p.
               103.
               l.
               24
               for
               Celphalgia
               ,
               r.
               Cephalgia
               .
               p.
               104.
               l.
               2.
               begge
               suppleatur
               .
               p.
               111.
               l.
               15.
               for
               though
               ,
               r.
               thought
               .
               p.
               118.
               l.
               8.
               for
               either
               r.
               ever
               .
               ib.
               l.
               22.
               for
               stop
               ,
               r.
               s●…eepe
               .
               p.
               121.
               l.
               ●…lt
               .
               for
               intricatest
               ,
               r.
               intimatest
               .
               p.
               135.
               l.
               11.
               for
               and
               ,
               r.
               one
               .
               p.
               138.
               l.
               1.
               for
               artificiall
               ,
               r.
               artificially
               .
               p.
               141.
               l.
               19.
               for
               Sotary
               ,
               r.
               Votary
               .
               ib.
               l.
               22.
               for
               eares
               ,
               r.
               yeares
               .
               p.
               142.
               l.
               3.
               for
               bath
               ,
               r.
               
                 have
                 ▪
              
               p.
               143.
               l.
               15.
               an
               suppleatu●…
               .
               ib.
               l.
               ul●…
               .
               ●…or
               resembrance
               ,
               r.
               resemblance
               .
               p.
               147.
               l.
               26.
               for
               at
               ,
               r.
               as
               .
               p.
               150.
               l.
               9.
               for
               Sole●…ysims
               ,
               r.
               Soloecis●…es
               .
               ib.
               l.
               6.
               for
               word-joyning
               ,
               r.
               
                 word
                 ▪
                 coyning
              
               .
               ib.
               l.
               23.
               for
               legatum
               ,
               r.
               l●…gatum
               .
               p.
               166.
               l.
               8.
               for
               of
               .
               r.
               to
               .
               p.
               178.
               l.
               22.
               for
               diet
               ,
               r.
               riet
               .
            
          
           
             
             
               To
               My
               Learned
               ,
               judicious
               ,
               and
               most
               experienced
               friend
               ,
               
                 T.
                 C.
              
               Doctor
               of
               Physicke
               :
               All
               successe
               to
               his
               conscionable
               endevours
               .
            
             
               Sonnet
               .
            
             
               
                 TO
                 you
                 ,
                 in
                 whom
                 knowledge
                 &
                 goodnesse
                 meet
                 ,
              
               
                 Whose
                 ends
                 are
                 honest
                 ,
                 and
                 whose
                 sole
                 content
              
               
                 Is
                 to
                 revive
                 your
                 heart-sicke
                 patient
                 ,
              
               
                 In
                 humblest
                 sort
                 ,
                 as
                 Clients
                 use
                 to
                 greet
              
               
                 Their
                 pious
                 Patrons
                 ,
                 doe
                 I
                 make
                 retrait
                 :
              
               
                 To
                 whom
                 I
                 owe
                 my selfe
                 ,
                 my
                 life
                 ,
                 my
                 love
                 ,
              
               
                 My
                 praise
                 ,
                 my
                 prayers
                 ,
                 next
                 to
                 the
                 Powers
                 above
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 The
                 high
                 Physitian
                 ,
                 in
                 whose
                 glorious
                 hand
              
               
                 The
                 globes
                 of
                 Heaven
                 and
                 Earth
                 contained
                 are
                 ,
              
               
                 Give
                 blessing
                 to
                 your
                 cure
                 ,
                 cure
                 to
                 your
                 care
                 ,
              
               
                 Prosper
                 your
                 practice
                 both
                 by
                 sea
                 and
                 land
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 give
                 successe
                 to
                 what
                 you
                 understand
                 :
              
               
                 For
                 in
                 you
                 I
                 have
                 found
                 ,
                 what
                 's
                 rare
                 to
                 finde
                 ,
              
               
                 A
                 curious
                 knowledge
                 in
                 a
                 vertuous
                 minde
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 For
                 th'artlesse
                 
                   Mounteb
                   anke
                
                 ,
                 whose
                 cure
                 's
                 to
                 care
              
               
                 How
                 to
                 deceive
                 a
                 Gull
                 ,
                 so
                 much
                 I
                 hate
                 it
                 ,
              
               
                 I
                 wish
                 but
                 execution
                 of
                 the
                 Statute
                 ,
              
               
                 To
                 such
                 penurious
                 venters
                 of
                 base
                 ware
                 ,
              
               
                 Who
                 ,
                 as
                 Hippocrates
                 relateth
                 ,
                 dare
              
               
                 Purchase
                 ,
                 by
                 Patients
                 death
                 ,
                 a
                 little
                 art
                 ,
              
               
                 Which
                 they
                 by
                 peece-meale
                 sell
                 at
                 ev'rie
                 Mart.
                 
              
            
             
               
                 For
                 you
                 ,
                 so
                 long
                 as
                 life
                 runs
                 th'row
                 these
                 veines
                 ,
              
               
                 I
                 will
                 retaine
                 a
                 gratefull
                 memorie
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 blaze
                 the
                 fame
                 of
                 your
                 integritie
              
               
                 ●…n
                 such
                 a●…
                 these
                 ,
                 or
                 in
                 some
                 choycer
                 straines
                 ,
              
               
                 To
                 gratifie
                 your
                 care
                 ,
                 your
                 cure
                 ,
                 your
                 paines
                 :
              
               
                 For
                 if
                 we
                 honour
                 him
                 that
                 gives
                 us
                 wealth
                 ,
              
               
                 What
                 owe
                 we
                 him
                 that
                 gives
                 us
                 life
                 and
                 health
                 ?
              
               
                 "
                 For
                 had
                 I
                 treasure
                 offer'd
                 ,
                 I
                 'de
                 refuse
                 it
                 ,
              
               
                 "
                 Wanting
                 the
                 sov'raigne
                 meanes
                 of
                 health
                 to
                 use
                 it
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 EUCAPNUS
                 NEPENTHIACUS
                 ,
                 NEAPOLITANUS
                 .
              
            
          
           
             
             
               To
               my
               worthy
               approved
               and
               judicious
               Friend
               ,
               
                 Alexander
                 Riggby
              
               Esquire
               ,
               all
               generous
               content
               .
            
             
               
                 ASsumpsits
                 are
                 Law-ties
                 in
                 Courts
                 above
                 ,
              
               
                 So
                 be
                 Assumpsits
                 in
                 respect
                 of
                 Love
                 ;
              
               
                 This
                 hath
                 induc'd
                 me
                 ,
                 Sir
                 ,
                 to
                 render
                 you
                 ,
              
               
                 Neare
                 to
                 my
                 day
                 ,
                 a
                 tender
                 of
                 my
                 due
                 .
              
               
                 For
                 in
                 Gants
                 aged-towne
                 last
                 time
                 we
                 met
                 ,
              
               
                 I
                 promis'd
                 you
                 ,
                 and
                 promises
                 are
                 debt
                 ,
              
               
                 To
                 publish
                 some
                 choice
                 subject
                 in
                 your
                 name
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 in
                 this
                 Toy
                 have
                 I
                 perform'd
                 the
                 same
                 ;
              
               
                 Which
                 ,
                 give
                 't
                 no
                 pleasing
                 relish
                 to
                 your
                 minde
                 ,
              
               
                 It
                 shall
                 by
                 fire
                 be
                 purged
                 and
                 refin'd
                 ,
              
               
                 Where
                 by
                 the
                 airie
                 substance
                 of
                 my
                 booke
                 ,
              
               
                 May
                 be
                 resolv'd
                 to
                 nothing
                 else
                 but
                 smoake
                 ,
              
               
                 But
                 how
                 so
                 re
                 this
                 Subject
                 you
                 approve
                 ,
              
               
                 It
                 acts
                 his
                 life
                 and
                 death
                 that
                 many
                 love
                 ;
              
               
                 So
                 a●…
                 ,
                 be
                 you
                 but
                 pleas'd
                 to
                 see
                 his
                 death
                 ,
              
               
                 Next
                 time
                 we
                 meet
                 wee
                 'll
                 laugh
                 him
                 out
                 a
                 breath
                 :
              
               
                 Meane
                 while
                 accept
                 this
                 gage
                 ,
                 till
                 I
                 have
                 time
              
               
                 To
                 mold
                 my
                 love
                 in
                 an
                 exacter
                 line
                 .
              
               
               
                 For
                 th'
                 Court
                 ,
                 where
                 now
                 my
                 suit
                 depending
                 is
                 ,
              
               
                 Hath
                 forc'd
                 me
                 write
                 
                   in
                   forma
                   pauperis
                
                 ;
              
               
                 From
                 whence
                 dismist
                 ,
                 your
                 equall
                 selfe
                 shall
                 heare
              
               
                 My
                 Muse
                 can
                 mount
                 unto
                 an
                 higher
                 Sphoere
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Yours
                 entirely
                 ,
                 EUCAPNUS
                 NEPENTHIACUS
                 ,
                 NEAPOLITANUS
                 .
              
            
          
           
             
               The
               Stationer
               to
               the
               Reader
               .
            
             
               THis
               Manuscript
               falling
               into
               my
               hand
               ,
               for
               the
               deserving
               esteeme
               of
               the
               Author
               ,
               whose
               name
               it
               bore
               ,
               I
               communicated
               it
               to
               the
               serious
               perusall
               of
               sundrie
               judicious
               Censors
               ,
               who
               highly
               approved
               the
               curious
               conceit
               and
               invention
               of
               the
               Author
               :
               who
               composed
               it
               (
               as
               hee
               hath
               since
               ingenuously
               acknowledged
               )
               in
               his
               infancie
               of
               judgement
               ,
               which
               made
               him
               altogether
               averse
               from
               publishing
               it
               .
               Howsoever
               the
               subject
               seeme
               light
               ,
               you
               shall
               finde
               it
               like
               a
               delightfull
               soile
               ,
               so
               plenteously
               interveined
               with
               pregnant
               passages
               ,
               pleasant
               allusions
               ,
               liberall
               and
               unforc'd
               relations
               ,
               as
               I
               make
               little
               doubt
               ,
               but
               it
               will
               afford
               a
               pleasing
               relish
               to
               any
               ones
               palate
               ,
               who
               through
               Criticisme
               of
               censure
               is
               not
               prejudicate
               .
               Read
               ,
               reape
               ,
               and
               returne
               .
            
          
           
             
             
               To
               Whomsoever
               ,
               whensoever
               ,
               or
               wheresoever
               .
            
             
               SOme
               few
               yeares
               agoe
               ,
               one
               
                 Boraccio
                 Fumiganto
              
               ,
               a
               Burmudan
               ,
               made
               repaire
               unto
               me
               ;
               and
               upon
               discourse
               of
               the
               plantation
               of
               Tobacco
               ,
               entreated
               mee
               upon
               all
               termes
               of
               love
               and
               familiarity
               betwixt
               us
               ,
               that
               I
               would
               addresse
               my
               pen
               to
               treat
               of
               that
               Subject
               ;
               being
               ,
               as
               ●…e
               verie
               truly
               affirmed
               ,
               a
               principall
               help
               to
               discourse
               ,
               especially
               to
               our
               young
               English
               Gallants
               ,
               whose
               first
               salutation
               to
               their
               acquaintance
               is
               ,
               
                 Will
                 you
                 take
                 a
                 pipe
                 of
                 Tobacco
                 ?
              
               But
               my
               answer
               was
               no
               lesse
               roughly
               than
               roundly
               returned
               ,
               replying
               ,
               that
               
                 Alexander
                 Severus
              
               would
               have
               smoaked
               such
               sellers
               of
               smoake
               ,
               and
               Xerxes
               would
               have
               pulled
               their
               skin
               over
               their
               eares
               ;
               if
               these
               smoakie
               Merchants
               ,
               being
               such
               as
               this
               Burmudan
               was
               ,
               had
               vended
               ,
               or
               vented
               those
               commodities
               in
               their
               time
               .
               With
               
               this
               answer
               ,
               my
               fuming
               Fumiganto
               seemed
               much
               discōtented
               ,
               taxing
               me
               of
               prejudicacie
               ,
               in
               condemning
               a
               Science
               (
               for
               so
               this
               Factor
               termed
               it
               )
               which
               was
               not
               onely
               hugg'd
               but
               honoured
               by
               our
               hopefull
               Gentrie
               ;
               whose
               desire
               was
               rather
               to
               be
               matriculated
               in
               the
               exquisite
               taking
               of
               a
               Pipe
               ,
               than
               in
               the
               tossing
               of
               a
               Pike
               ;
               in
               a
               quiffe
               and
               a
               quaffe
               ,
               than
               shaking
               of
               a
               staffe
               .
               Presently
               upon
               this
               affront
               ,
               came
               in
               a
               Trinidadan
               with
               a
               Varinan
               ,
               who
               desi
               ou●…
               to
               heare
               what
               Subject
               it
               was
               that
               made
               us
               so
               hot
               ,
               I
               replyed
               ,
               it
               was
               Tobacco
               ,
               the
               verie
               fume
               whereof
               ,
               as
               it
               doth
               ever
               ,
               had
               driven
               us
               to
               that
               distemper
               .
               O
               insolence
               ,
               or
               rather
               impudence
               ,
               quoth
               the
               Trinidadan
               !
               shall
               a
               weed
               ,
               the
               wealth
               of
               many
               Ilands
               ,
               and
               the
               delight
               of
               the
               Queene
               of
               Ilands
               ,
               receive
               that
               aspersion
               ?
               tellme
               ,
               tellme
               (
               quoth
               hee
               )
               thou
               profest
               Mamothrept
               to
               all
               generous
               humours
               ,
               how
               should
               long
               and
               lingri●…g
               hou●…es
               bee
               consumed
               ,
               how
               should
               discourse
               ,
               wanting
               matter
               ,
               be
               continued
               ,
               how
               should
               entertainment
               or
               the
               life
               of
               societie
               be
               preserved
               ,
               how
               should
               hospitalitie
               now
               showne
               not
               so
               much
               in
               the
               ●…himney
               ,
               is
               in
               the
               nose
               of
               the
               Gentrie
               ,
               he
               discovered
               ?
               Nay
               more
               ,
               how
               should
               
               some
               Companies
               be
               maintained
               ,
               if
               this
               soveraigne
               receipt
               to
               all
               maladies
               ,
               were
               not
               countenanced
               ?
               What
               Companies
               ,
               said
               I
               ?
               Marrie
               the
               Company
               of
               Pipe-makers
               ,
               Sirrah
               Stoicke
               ;
               whereof
               one
               Brachifort
               ,
               who
               is
               no
               small
               Foole
               ,
               hath
               procured
               a
               benefit
               ,
               to
               inhance
               the
               rints
               of
               his
               pate
               by
               the
               rents
               of
               the
               pipe
               ,
               and
               smoake
               them
               who
               made
               Pipes
               for
               others
               smoake
               .
               Is
               it
               possible
               ,
               quoth
               I
               ?
               Yes
               ,
               my
               cringing
               Criticke
               (
               said
               the
               Varinan
               )
               that
               it
               is
               ,
               and
               yet
               you
               disesteeme
               our
               qualitie
               .
               Besides
               ,
               I
               heare
               ,
               quoth
               hee
               ,
               that
               one
               
                 Aestivus
                 Nepenthiacus
              
               ,
               a
               grand
               Monopolist
               ,
               and
               a
               judicious
               Practist
               in
               his
               profession
               ,
               hath
               of
               late
               renounced
               his
               practice
               ,
               wherein
               hee
               was
               a
               right
               hopefull
               beginner
               ,
               to
               betake
               himselfe
               to
               the
               plantation
               of
               Tobacco
               ;
               wherein
               I
               will
               not
               justifie
               his
               triall
               of
               experiments
               ,
               being
               for
               the
               most
               part
               more
               deceiving
               than
               thriving
               ;
               but
               sure
               I
               am
               hi●…
               artificiall
               Stoves
               ,
               Limbecks
               ,
               〈◊〉
               ,
               and
               other
               artfull
               inventions
               ,
               have
               prov'd
               him
               a
               Dogmaticall
               Doctor
               in
               his
               profession
               .
               Whereto
               I
               answered
               ,
               that
               indeed
               I
               had
               heard
               of
               his
               rare
               experiments
               ,
               but
               how
               little
               Nepenthiacus
               had
               gained
               by
               them
               ,
               might
               appeare
               by
               this
               ,
               that
               as
               he
               
               had
               formerly
               left
               his
               Profession
               ,
               so
               now
               of
               late
               he
               was
               enforced
               to
               leave
               his
               nation
               ,
               to
               worke
               wonders
               among
               the
               wilde
               Irish.
               Where
               report
               was
               ,
               hee
               intended
               to
               remaine
               till
               he
               had
               reduced
               all
               those
               bogs
               and
               marishes
               to
               plots
               of
               Tobacco
               ;
               so
               beneficiall
               is
               he
               to
               the
               State
               ,
               though
               prejudiciall
               to
               himselfe
               .
               This
               ,
               quoth
               the
               Trinidadan
               ,
               may
               bee
               all
               easily
               done
               ,
               if
               he
               exactly
               observe
               his
               geometricall
               ascents
               &
               descents
               ,
               which
               by
               his
               mathematicall
               line
               ,
               which
               hee
               hath
               alwayes
               in
               readinesse
               ,
               with
               all
               facilitie
               may
               bee
               attained
               .
               For
               in
               that
               glorie
               of
               Ilands
               ,
               wherein
               I
               have
               long
               time
               remained
               ,
               works
               of
               greater
               difficultie
               than
               this
               have
               beene
               effected
               :
               but
               to
               insist
               on
               any
               of
               these
               I
               will
               not
               ,
               because
               they
               would
               seeme
               incredible
               to
               the
               shallow
               and
               barraine
               apprehension
               of
               the
               vulgar
               :
               yet
               to
               make
               instance
               of
               one
               for
               all
               ,
               I
               hold
               it
               not
               altogether
               fruitlesse
               .
               I
               have
               seene
               the
               seeds
               of
               Tobacco
               sowne
               in
               a
               bed
               of
               gourds
               ,
               and
               in
               a
               moneths
               space
               the
               whole
               bed
               of
               gourds
               were
               into
               leaves
               of
               Tobacco
               changed
               .
               Where
               at
               smiling
               ,
               I
               have
               read
               (
               quoth
               I
               )
               all
               
                 Ovids
                 Metamorphosis
              
               ,
               and
               I
               finde
               there
               no
               such
               transmutation
               .
               No
               marvell
               (
               answered
               he
               )
               those
               were
               fictions
               ,
               
               these
               true
               and
               native
               relations
               :
               besides
               ,
               you
               are
               to
               know
               that
               Travellers
               in
               their
               surveyes
               ,
               assume
               a
               priviledge
               above
               the
               authoritie
               of
               Authors
               .
               Traversing
               thus
               our
               ground
               ,
               as
               one
               cloyed
               with
               this
               discourse
               ,
               I
               had
               a
               desire
               to
               leave
               them
               to
               themselves
               ,
               and
               addresse
               my selfe
               to
               mine
               owne
               affaires
               ;
               but
               
                 Boraccio
                 Fumiganto
              
               ,
               my
               familiar
               friend
               ,
               and
               one
               who
               had
               more
               interest
               in
               mee
               than
               the
               other
               two
               ,
               st●…pt
               betwixt
               ●…ee
               and
               the
               doore
               ,
               conjuring
               me
               upon
               that
               inviolable
               league
               of
               amitie
               so
               long
               professed
               &
               protested
               ,
               that
               I
               would
               rest
               satisfied
               by
               giving
               way
               to
               their
               entreatie
               ;
               promising
               withall
               ,
               that
               my
               travell
               should
               not
               be
               unrequited
               ,
               if
               I
               would
               prosecute
               some
               thing
               touching
               the
               praise-worthy
               invention
               of
               Tobacco
               ,
               which
               they
               with
               such
               importunitie
               desired
               :
               But
               modestly
               ,
               as
               seemed
               me
               ,
               did
               I
               answer
               :
               that
               my
               labours
               ,
               as
               they
               deserved
               no
               such
               courtesie
               ,
               so
               did
               I
               ever
               scorne
               they
               should
               bee
               mercenarie
               :
               besides
               ,
               if
               I
               should
               give
               way
               to
               their
               request
               by
               publishing
               ought
               concerning
               the
               singular
               use
               of
               that
               commoditie
               ,
               yet
               might
               my
               Taske
               seeme
               uselesse
               ,
               the
               oyle
               of
               my
               Lamp
               fruitlesse
               ,
               being
               employed
               in
               that
               Subject
               so
               much
               pressed
               ,
               so
               frequently
               
               printed
               ,
               and
               therefore
               needlesse
               .
               Whereat
               the
               Varinan
               seemed
               much
               incensed
               ,
               vowing
               ,
               that
               many
               yeares
               were
               not
               past
               since
               hee
               first
               set
               foot
               in
               this
               I
               le
               ,
               how
               then
               could
               it
               appeare
               that
               any
               Author
               would
               doe
               him
               that
               favour
               ,
               being
               no
               English-borne
               but
               a
               stranger
               ,
               to
               undertake
               for
               the
               vent
               of
               his
               commoditie
               any
               labour
               ?
               To
               which
               objection
               I
               replyed
               ,
               that
               the
               English
               were
               ever
               courteous
               unto
               strangers
               ,
               many
               times
               approving
               better
               of
               them
               ,
               than
               of
               their
               owne
               naturall
               inhabitants
               .
               And
               whereas
               ,
               he
               could
               not
               be
               induced
               to
               beleeve
               that
               any
               Author
               would
               addresse
               his
               pen
               to
               write
               in
               his
               favour
               :
               I
               assured
               him
               ,
               that
               I
               had
               read
               the
               Titles
               of
               divers
               bookes
               treating
               of
               the
               use
               and
               commerce
               of
               Tobacco
               ;
               as
               the
               Poem
               of
               that
               English
               Musaeus
               ,
               〈◊〉
               ,
               
                 Tobacco
                 battered
              
               .
               Likewise
               ,
               another
               pleasant
               poeticall
               Paradox
               in
               the
               praise
               of
               the
               P.
               wherein
               is
               learnedly
               proved
               ,
               and
               by
               impregnable
               reasons
               evinced
               ,
               that
               Tobacco
               is
               the
               onely
               soveraigne
               experimentall
               cure
               ,
               not
               onely
               for
               the
               Neapolitan
               itch
               ,
               but
               generally
               for
               all
               maladies
               incident
               to
               mans
               bodie
               .
               Which
               discourse
               is
               with
               no
               lesse
               exactnesse
               prosecuted
               ,
               than
               
                 Rodolphus
                 Agricola's
              
               
               was
               in
               his
               tract
               of
               the
               
                 Vanitie
                 of
                 knowledge
                 ;
                 Cornelius
                 Agrippa
              
               in
               his
               discourse
               of
               the
               
                 Uncertaintie
                 of
                 knowledge
              
               ;
               or
               Erasmus
               in
               his
               so
               much
               admired
               Encomion
               in
               the
               
                 Praise
                 of
                 folly
              
               .
               Besides
               many
               other
               judicious
               relations
               of
               late
               yeares
               published
               by
               our
               English
               Navigators
               ,
               all
               tending
               to
               the
               praise
               of
               that
               excellent
               knowledge
               in
               the
               plantation
               of
               Tobacco
               :
               and
               those
               exquisite
               effects
               which
               in
               forraine
               countries
               it
               hath
               effected
               .
               So
               as
               the
               Herbe
               Moli
               ,
               so
               highly
               prized
               and
               praised
               by
               Homer
               ,
               could
               not
               bee
               more
               usefull
               to
               the
               wandring
               Ithacus
               ,
               in
               repelling
               the
               charmes
               of
               Circe
               ,
               than
               this
               Indian
               weed
               hath
               beene
               ever
               by
               their
               reports
               powerfull
               to
               the
               travelling
               Arabs
               ,
               to
               inure
               them
               to
               all
               extremitie
               .
               What
               then
               should
               Tasks
               of
               this
               nature
               be
               any
               more
               revived
               ,
               seeing
               so
               generous
               and
               generall
               an
               use
               of
               it
               hath
               made
               it
               approved
               ?
               so
               as
               ,
               whoseever
               should
               write
               against
               it
               ,
               might
               have
               more
               adversaries
               to
               oppose
               him
               ;
               than
               he
               had
               reasons
               through
               his
               whole
               discourse
               to
               alledge
               for
               him
               .
               Yea
               but
               ,
               replyed
               the
               Trinidadan
               ,
               for
               all
               this
               ,
               it
               is
               not
               unknowne
               how
               the
               Emperour
               Eudorus
               hath
               divers
               times
               inhibited
               this
               to
               all
               
               his
               Courtiers
               :
               yea
               ,
               and
               long
               since
               ,
               so
               bitterly
               inveyed
               against
               the
               humorous
               and
               phantasticke
               use
               thereof
               ▪
               as
               publikely
               all
               those
               great
               Professours
               ,
               who
               formerly
               did
               partake
               of
               nature
               with
               the
               S●…lamander
               ,
               to
               shew
               how
               conformable
               they
               would
               be
               to
               the
               opinion
               of
               their
               Empero●…r
               ,
               broke
               their
               Tobacco-pipes
               ,
               to
               manifest
               their
               distaste
               of
               what
               they
               so
               violently
               had
               affected
               ,
               by
               throwing
               away
               those
               instruments
               by
               which
               their
               smoak
               was
               usually
               conveyed
               .
               All
               this
               ,
               said
               I
               ,
               i●…
               no
               lesse
               than
               truth
               ;
               yet
               ,
               h●…w
               long
               did
               th●…
               distaste
               continue
               ?
               Did
               not
               th●…se
               brave
               Tindarian
               spirits
               quickly
               retai●…e
               what
               they
               had
               so
               seemingly
               disclaimed
               ?
               So
               as
               ,
               no
               meat
               can
               be
               well
               digested
               (
               so
               powerfull
               is
               custome
               being
               once
               retained
               )
               till
               a
               pipe
               of
               Tobacco
               be
               exhaled
               ,
               ●…ea
               some
               times
               a
               whole
               Petoun
               of
               Indian
               f●…me
               ●…e
               exhausted
               .
               For
               howsoever
               ,
               to
               please
               the
               Emper●…ur
               ,
               whose
               prince●…y
               ●…nd
               impartiall
               censure
               without
               respect
               to
               impost
               ,
               seem
               〈◊〉
               of
               your
               profession
               a
               little
               bitter
               ,
               their
               pipes
               were
               battered
               ,
               their
               Tobacco
               scattered
               ,
               and
               this
               late
               introduced
               relique
               of
               Gentilitie
               cashered
               ;
               yet
               by
               meanes
               of
               a
               meagre
               Matachin
               ,
               o●…e
               
                 Samius
                 Argilloplastes
              
               ,
               they
               
               were
               shortly
               supplyed
               ,
               wheresoever
               ,
               or
               whomsoever
               this
               pleasing
               humour
               had
               disfurnished
               .
               Since
               which
               time
               ,
               both
               Court
               and
               Citie
               have
               no
               lesse
               steemed
               with
               your
               fume
               ,
               my
               deare
               Trinidadan
               ,
               than
               the
               Academie
               ,
               that
               golden
               grove
               of
               Hesp●…rie
               ,
               with
               your
               late-knowne
               smoak
               my
               Varinan
               ,
               or
               the
               Country
               ,
               that
               Court-Ape
               of
               vanitie
               ,
               with
               your
               vulgar
               stuffe
               ,
               my
               stale
               Burmudan
               .
               What
               Academie
               ,
               said
               the
               Varinan
               ?
               Sure
               I
               am
               ,
               if
               you
               meane
               either
               of
               those
               
                 two
                 Sisters
              
               ,
               whose
               renowne
               our
               verie
               Coast
               admireth
               ,
               and
               whose
               unequall'd
               paritie
               those
               Countries
               who
               never
               saw
               them
               affecteth
               ,
               you
               erre
               much
               in
               your
               judgement
               ;
               for
               the
               Masters
               and
               Governours
               of
               private
               houses
               ,
               (
               this
               I
               dare
               avouch
               upon
               mine
               owne
               knowledge
               )
               are
               such
               cautelous
               Guides
               and
               Guardians
               ●…ver
               that
               Charge
               wherin
               they
               stand
               interessed
               ,
               as
               they
               cannot
               endure
               the
               smell
               of
               this
               
                 Indian
                 Hag
              
               ,
               for
               so
               they
               terme
               it
               ,
               to
               evaporate
               within
               their
               Cloysters
               .
               So
               as
               ,
               being
               one
               time
               there
               (
               whereby
               you
               shall
               easily
               gather
               how
               ignorant
               these
               sage
               Magnifico's
               were
               in
               the
               artfull
               profession
               of
               the
               pipe
               )
               it
               was
               my
               fortune
               to
               consort
               with
               a
               joviall
               fri●…
               of
               young
               Pupills
               ,
               all
               Freshmen
               
               save
               one
               or
               two
               ,
               who
               had
               received
               seasoning
               from
               the
               Pump
               for
               their
               absurdities
               .
               With
               whom
               having
               traversed
               two
               or
               three
               pipes
               of
               rich
               Varina
               ,
               with
               some
               bottles
               from
               
                 Fons
                 .
                 Clitonius
              
               which
               procured
               Urina
               ,
               just
               as
               we
               were
               canvassing
               a
               fresh
               pipe
               ,
               in
               comes
               a
               
                 Senior
                 Master
              
               ,
               Tutor
               (
               as
               I
               afterwards
               understood
               )
               to
               those
               lively
               Lads
               with
               whom
               I
               consorted
               ;
               who
               seeing
               the
               chamber
               all
               in
               a
               fume
               ,
               grew
               into
               a
               monstrou●…●…ume
               himselfe
               ,
               so
               as
               taking
               up
               some
               odde
               pipes
               which
               lay
               scattered
               upon
               the
               Table
               ,
               
                 I
                 will
                 henceforth
              
               (
               quoth
               hee
               )
               
                 prevent
                 you
                 Boyes
                 of
                 your
                 piping
              
               ;
               and
               with
               that
               ,
               he
               threw
               all
               their
               pipes
               into
               the
               fire
               ,
               intending
               to
               burne
               them
               ;
               and
               so
               he
               might
               ,
               but
               not
               as
               he
               meant
               ;
               for
               his
               purpose
               was
               to
               consume
               them
               .
               At
               this
               conceited
               tale
               of
               the
               Varinan
               ,
               after
               wee
               had
               a
               little
               space
               laughed
               ,
               I
               replyed
               ;
               that
               such
               ignorance
               was
               now
               from
               the
               Academicks
               wholly
               exiled
               :
               for
               the
               grea●…est
               and
               gravest
               Students
               well
               perceived
               ,
               that
               long
               studie
               would
               dull
               and
               rebate
               the
               understanding
               ,
               being
               by
               no
               externall
               receipt
               cheered
               .
               Upon
               which
               speech
               ,
               all
               these
               three
               Antagonists
               with
               joynt
               force
               ,
               made
               towards
               me
               ,
               reassailing
               
               me
               with
               new
               reasons
               to
               undertake
               the
               defence
               of
               their
               Trade
               ,
               objecting
               ,
               how
               by
               mine
               owne
               mouth
               they
               would
               condemnè
               me
               ,
               if
               they
               could
               not
               now
               at
               last
               after
               many
               perswasions
               ;
               prevaile
               with
               me
               .
               For
               (
               said
               they
               )
               you
               confesse
               the
               
                 Citie
                 ,
                 Court
                 ,
                 Countrey
              
               :
               Yea
               ,
               the
               Treasurie
               of
               all
               knowledge
               ,
               even
               the
               Academies
               affect
               ,
               it
               ,
               and
               will
               you
               in
               a
               Stoicke
               reluctancie
               oppose
               it
               ?
               Besides
               this
               ,
               you
               have
               sundrie
               affectionate
               Allies
               ,
               all
               Agents
               of
               happie
               employment
               and
               hopefull
               improvement
               ,
               who
               since
               their
               plantation
               in
               Tortouga
               have
               dealt
               in
               this
               commoditie
               ,
               to
               their
               profit
               and
               succeeding
               memorie
               ,
               which
               may
               bee
               an
               irresistable
               motive
               to
               induce
               it
               .
               To
               which
               powerfull
               objections
               I
               a
               little
               relented
               ,
               yet
               so
               ,
               as
               I
               expressely
               told
               them
               ,
               I
               would
               not
               much
               insist
               upon
               their
               conveniencies
               or
               inconveniencies
               of
               their
               trade
               ,
               being
               of
               late
               time
               inured
               to
               dangerous
               sophistication
               ,
               having
               knowne
               by
               report
               of
               an
               experienced
               Chymicke
               ,
               divers
               ounces
               of
               Quick-silver
               extracted
               from
               one
               pound
               of
               Tobacco
               :
               but
               to
               discourse
               of
               the
               Life
               and
               Death
               of
               Tobacco
               ;
               as
               first
               of
               his
               birth
               and
               education
               ;
               secondly
               of
               his
               Planting
               and
               Propagation
               ,
               I
               
               should
               doe
               my
               endevour
               :
               Whereto
               they
               all
               joyntly
               consented
               ;
               upon
               which
               consent
               I
               addressed
               my
               pen
               to
               this
               ensuing
               Tract
               here
               presented
               .
            
          
        
         
           
             
             
               THE
               SMOAKING
               AGE
               .
               OR
               ,
               The
               Life
               and
               Death
               of
               TOBACCO
               .
            
             
               IN
               Tartarie
               (
               I
               reade
               )
               not
               farre
               from
               the
               Burmudoes
               ,
               there
               dwelt
               a
               rich
               Hander
               ,
               whose
               name
               was
               Nepenthes
               :
               enricht
               he
               was
               with
               all
               the
               best
               of
               temporall
               fortunes
               ;
               and
               to
               make
               his
               blessings
               more
               consummate
               ,
               with
               a
               chaste
               and
               continent
               wife
               ,
               called
               Vsque●…aughin
               .
               yet
               that
               he
               might
               acknowledge
               ,
               there
               was
               nothing
               in
               this
               interins
               of
               mans
               life
               so
               absolute
               ,
               which
               was
               not
               sometimes
               attended
               with
               crosses
               ,
               or
               at
               least
               ,
               all●…yed
               ▪
               to
               make
               humane
               frailtie
               confesse
               
               a
               more
               soveraigne
               power
               :
               hee
               tasted
               (
               one
               distaste
               )
               in
               the
               overflow
               of
               his
               fortunes
               ,
               which
               was
               ,
               want
               of
               children
               .
               Much
               he
               had
               ,
               and
               great
               possessions
               was
               he
               master
               of
               :
               but
               who
               should
               be
               his
               heire
               he
               knew
               not
               ,
               being
               bereft
               (
               of
               that
               onely
               one
               of
               humane
               blessings
               ,
               hope
               of
               issue
               .
               Long
               had
               he
               now
               lived
               with
               his
               vertuous
               wife
               ,
               when
               behold
               he
               was
               made
               happy
               in
               hope
               ,
               though
               the
               event
               answered
               not
               his
               expectation
               so
               fully
               as
               hee
               imagined
               ,
               and
               thus
               it
               fell
               out
               .
               These
               two
               good
               Inhabitants
               dwelling
               neere
               to
               the
               sea
               ,
               they
               used
               now
               and
               then
               to
               walke
               upon
               the
               sea
               shoare
               ,
               not
               onely
               to
               refresh
               themselves
               with
               the
               coole
               temperature
               of
               the
               aire
               ,
               but
               in
               meere
               compassion
               to
               entertaine
               (
               such
               shipwrack't
               soules
               as
               destitute
               of
               hope
               or
               meanes
               ,
               were
               throwen
               upon
               that
               coast
               ▪
               it
               chanced
               that
               an
               Apothecary
               of
               the
               Burmudoes
               ,
               (
               intending
               to
               goe
               into
               Hoemonia
               where
               the
               best
               and
               soveraignest
               herbes
               ,
               plants
               ,
               soots
               ,
               and
               Aromotaries
               are
               said
               to
               be
               )
               he
               was
               intercepted
               by
               Pirots
               ,
               who
               rifling
               him
               of
               that
               poore
               estate
               hee
               had
               ,
               threw
               him
               over
               ship-boord
               :
               but
               see
               what
               refuge
               
               he
               found
               in
               the
               ocean
               ?
               The
               Polype
               fish
               (
               which
               naturally
               loveth
               sweet
               savours
               ,
               &
               is
               exceedingly
               delighted
               with
               perfumes
               or
               any
               fragrant
               smell
               ,
               taking
               this
               Apothecary
               in
               her
               nose
               ,
               presently
               approches
               him
               ,
               and
               swallowes
               him
               (
               for
               he
               was
               but
               a
               little
               dapper
               knave
               )
               quite
               downe
               .
               The
               poore
               Apothecary
               thus
               imprisoned
               ,
               yet
               not
               quite
               bereft
               of
               sense
               ,
               but
               to
               know
               where
               he
               was
               ,
               remembers
               himself
               ,
               recollects
               his
               spirits
               ,
               &
               with
               an
               expert
               and
               successive
               hand
               ,
               tries
               this
               conclusion
               ;
               he
               called
               ●…o
               mind
               how
               he
               had
               some
               purging
               Comsits
               about
               him
               ,
               for
               (
               he
               being
               costive
               in
               his
               body
               ,
               used
               them
               upon
               all
               occasions
               :
               )
               these
               he
               ministers
               to
               the
               fish
               ,
               which
               she
               no
               sooner
               had
               received
               ,
               then
               ,
               as
               the
               Scolopendra
               is
               said
               to
               avoyd
               her
               very
               entrals
               ,
               till
               she
               has
               rid
               her selfe
               of
               the
               hooke
               ,
               so
               she
               purged
               backeward
               and
               forward
               :
               sicke
               she
               was
               ,
               and
               heart-sick
               of
               the
               Apothecarie
               ,
               and
               in
               great
               extremity
               ,
               till
               delivered
               of
               him
               :
               for
               any
               mā
               may
               judge
               ,
               if
               one
               pill
               had
               such
               extreme
               force
               ,
               what
               force
               was
               he
               of
               that
               ministred
               these
               pils
               ?
               Not
               farre
               from
               the
               banke
               side
               ,
               was
               this
               poore
               Apothecary
               set
               at
               liberty
               :
               when
               behold
               ,
               
               he
               begins
               now
               to
               wrastle
               with
               a
               second
               death
               :
               the
               billowes
               of
               the
               sea
               menacing
               ruine
               ;
               the
               whirlepits
               gaping
               to
               devour
               him
               ;
               little
               hope
               or
               none
               is
               left
               him
               ;
               for
               there
               's
               no
               Purge
               in
               all
               his
               Boxes
               will
               save
               him
               .
               The
               poore
               man
               thus
               distressed
               ,
               though
               to
               dye
               hardly
               resolved
               ,
               yet
               he
               sees
               no
               remedy
               ,
               to
               die
               he
               must
               be
               enforced
               ;
               and
               surely
               had
               dyed
               ,
               if
               thse
               two
               compassionate
               Ilanders
               ,
               that
               ever
               were
               prest
               and
               addrest
               to
               pitty
               others
               miseries
               ,
               had
               not
               rescued
               him
               .
               A
               little
               Cock-boat
               being
               tied
               to
               the
               shoare-side
               ,
               (
               though
               unfit
               to
               endure
               any
               rough
               tempest
               ,
               )
               Nepenthes
               unlooseth
               and
               in
               meere
               compassion
               (
               though
               in
               this
               adventure
               he
               hazzarded
               himselfe
               ,
               and
               was
               much
               disswaded
               by
               his
               wife
               to
               the
               contrary
               )
               yet
               sets
               he
               forth
               towards
               him
               ,
               and
               by
               the
               sudden
               calmnesse
               of
               the
               tempests
               intimating
               ,
               that
               the
               gods
               themselves
               were
               pleased
               with
               a
               worke
               of
               that
               merit
               ,
               he
               takes
               him
               up
               into
               his
               Boat
               ,
               and
               brings
               him
               with
               a
               mutuall
               joy
               ,
               in
               safety
               to
               the
               shoare
               .
               The
               Apothecary
               as
               yet
               amazed
               with
               his
               new-past
               danger
               ,
               and
               as
               one
               new
               come
               out
               of
               a
               trance
               ,
               thinking
               these
               two
               Ilanders
               
               had
               beene
               Neptune
               and
               Tethis
               his
               Queene
               ,
               and
               no
               mortall
               creatures
               ,
               made
               this
               druggary
               speech
               unto
               them
               following
               .
               
            
             
               BRAVE
               and
               puissant
               Neptune
               ,
               and
               you
               sacred
               Queene
               of
               the
               nine
               Iles
               ,
               Lady
               maioresse
               of
               the
               great
               Ocean
               ,
               Governesse
               of
               the
               lower
               Elements
               ,
               Commandresse
               of
               all
               the
               skaly
               generation
               ,
               from
               the
               Sea-horse
               to
               the
               Sea-mouse
               ,
               Umpiresse
               of
               all
               differences
               in
               this
               watery
               region
               ,
               &c
               :
               may
               a
               poore
               ship-wrackt
               Pothecarie
               speake
               to
               your
               Excellence
               ?
               one
               that
               hath
               ministred
               Triackles
               ,
               Antidotes
               ,
               Receits
               &
               Cordials
               to
               all
               (
               or
               most
               of
               your
               Patients
               )
               within
               your
               flourishing
               Iles
               of
               the
               Burmudoes
               ;
               and
               now
               is
               enforced
               (
               like
               a
               poore
               supplicant
               )
               al
               Drugs
               of
               Rheubarbe
               ,
               Carduus
               sanctus
               ,
               Coloquintida
               ,
               Artemisia
               ,
               Oenanthe
               ,
               and
               what
               herbes
               or
               plants
               soever
               were
               preservative
               against
               the
               Scotoma
               ,
               Oedema
               ,
               Lithiasis
               ,
               Paralysis
               ,
               Celphalgia
               ,
               Lycanthropia
               ;
               all
               diseases
               ,
               Ulcers
               ,
               Morbs
               or
               Contagions
               wheresoever
               or
               howsoever
               arising
               ,
               all
               these
               (
               I
               say
               )
               set
               aside
               ,
               I
               am
               now
               enforced
               to
               crave
               pardon
               at
               your
               Highnesse
               feet
               .
               With
               this
               :
               the
               
               two
               Ilanders
               interrupted
               him
               ,
               demanding
               the
               reason
               why
               hee
               should
               pardon
               ?
               O
               (
               replied
               the
               Apothecary
               )
               I
               see
               the
               judgements
               of
               Neptune
               be
               now
               (
               and
               not
               without
               cause
               )
               powred
               upon
               me
               ;
               oft
               have
               I
               (
               and
               with
               watery
               eyes
               I
               speake
               i●…
               )
               ministred
               instead
               of
               purging
               materials
               ,
               such
               as
               were
               binding
               :
               This
               ,
               this
               ,
               (
               and
               with
               that
               he
               beat
               his
               brest
               exceedingly
               )
               have
               my
               false
               Drugs
               brought
               me
               to
               :
               I
               have
               oft
               times
               ministred
               for
               potions
               ,
               poysons
               to
               torment
               my
               Patients
               ;
               that
               I
               might
               increase
               my
               estate
               by
               their
               infirmities
               :
               I
               never
               consulted
               with
               my
               Doctor
               for
               my
               Patients
               health
               ,
               but
               how
               to
               augment
               my
               wealth
               ,
               by
               his
               lingring
               sicknesse
               .
               Punish
               me
               therefore
               Great
               Neptune
               ,
               throw
               me
               into
               the
               Sea
               ,
               that
               I
               may
               poyson
               as
               many
               fish
               as
               I
               have
               poysoned
               men
               .
               Nepenthes
               willing
               to
               waine
               him
               from
               this
               strange
               distraction
               ,
               bad
               him
               be
               comforted
               ,
               and
               with
               this
               serious
               speech
               shewed
               him
               his
               errours
               .
            
             
               MY
               FRIEND
               ,
               as
               thou
               ascribest
               ,
               the
               cause
               of
               thy
               present
               misery
               ,
               to
               thy
               forepast
               impiety
               ,
               and
               as
               thou
               wishest
               Neptune
               might
               censure-thee
               according
               :
               o
               
               thy
               demerits
               ,
               having
               deserved
               the
               worst
               of
               men
               :
               so
               I
               would
               have
               thee
               know
               I
               am
               neither
               Neptune
               that
               can
               or
               will
               censure
               ,
               nor
               shee
               Tethis
               that
               should
               shew
               thee
               rigour
               ;
               Two
               Ilanders
               we
               are
               that
               will
               shew
               thee
               our
               best
               of
               welcome
               ,
               and
               hospitality
               shall
               be
               the
               worst
               punishment
               we
               will
               inflict
               upon
               thee
               :
               onely
               ,
               as
               thou
               ex
               :
               pressest
               thy
               owne
               sorrow
               for
               the
               contempt
               of
               thy
               profession
               :
               redeeme
               the
               time
               thou
               hast
               lost
               ,
               and
               retire
               with
               us
               ;
               if
               we
               can
               yeeld
               thee
               comfort
               use
               us
               :
               for
               never
               past
               misery
               by
               this
               shore
               unpitied
               ,
               if
               we
               could
               either
               remedy
               it
               ,
               or
               redresse
               it
               .
               With
               great
               thankes
               went
               the
               Apothecary
               along
               with
               them
               to
               a
               neighbour
               Grange
               adjoyning
               ,
               where
               with
               all
               curtesie
               he
               was
               entertained
               .
               It
               chanced
               one
               day
               ,
               that
               Usquebaughin
               sitting
               discontentedly
               in
               her
               Garden
               ,
               began
               to
               expostulate
               the
               cause
               of
               her
               barrennesse
               ,
               and
               thus
               (
               though
               hervertues
               never
               before
               so
               farre
               transgressed
               their
               limits
               ,
               or
               lesse
               expressed
               themselves
               )
               she
               proceeded
               .
            
             
               Wretched
               Vsquebaughin
               ,
               what
               crime
               hast
               thou
               committed
               ,
               what
               offence
               hast
               thou
               done
               ,
               or
               what
               worke
               of
               
               hospitality
               hast
               thou
               omitted
               :
               That
               thou
               (
               and
               that
               onely
               thou
               )
               shouldst
               be
               deprived
               of
               that
               commune
               bounty
               of
               Nature
               ?
               Others
               have
               flourishing
               issues
               ;
               and
               though
               their
               estates
               be
               lesse
               ,
               yet
               they
               know
               ,
               who
               shall
               possesse
               them
               :
               But
               I
               (
               that
               have
               no
               issue
               ,
               bereft
               of
               the
               greatest
               of
               comforts
               ,
               what
               avayleth
               it
               me
               to
               possesse
               abundance
               ,
               when
               all
               this
               shall
               succeed
               to
               a
               doubtfull
               heire
               ?
               yet
               is
               my
               griefe
               enlarged
               !
               who
               will
               not
               judge
               how
               Nepenthes
               got
               it
               ?
               that
               hath
               no
               issue
               to
               whom
               he
               may
               leave
               it
               ;
               sure
               (
               will
               some
               imagine
               )
               extortion
               hath
               been
               the
               meanes
               of
               his
               raising
               ,
               which
               makes
               his
               house
               so
               quickly
               declining
               .
               True
               ,
               true
               ,
               (
               unhappy
               woman
               )
               many
               such
               surmises
               will
               arise
               from
               thy
               barrennesse
               :
               though
               thy
               husbands
               vertues
               be
               never
               so
               transparant
               .
               I
               will
               retire
               my selfe
               therefore
               to
               some
               desolate
               place
               ,
               that
               as
               ,
               I
               am
               deprived
               of
               comfort
               ,
               I
               may
               be
               deprived
               of
               light
               ;
               nor
               would
               I
               have
               an
               imputation
               aspersed
               on
               my
               husbands
               honour
               ,
               through
               my
               defect
               .
               Whilst
               she
               was
               descanting
               thus
               her
               own
               griefes
               silently
               ,
               that
               the
               silence
               of
               the
               place
               and
               privacie
               of
               her
               passions
               
               might
               augment
               them
               :
               Cantharides
               (
               for
               so
               was
               the
               Apothecarie
               called
               )
               came
               into
               the
               garden
               ,
               where
               seeing
               this
               disconsolate
               woman
               (
               all
               a
               mort
               )
               wiping
               her
               teare-swolne-eyes
               ,
               to
               minister
               no
               lesse
               solace
               in
               her
               afflictions
               ,
               than
               she
               had
               done
               before
               to
               his
               ,
               he
               thus
               with
               milde
               aspect
               ,
               and
               compassionate
               respect
               ,
               spake
               unto
               her
               .
            
             
               IF
               griefes
               be
               best
               allayed
               when
               communicated
               ,
               or
               afflictions
               best
               eased
               ,
               when
               they
               find
               partners
               :
               be
               not
               such
               an
               enemie
               to
               your selfe
               (
               sweet
               Mistris
               )
               as
               so
               to
               engrosse
               your
               owne
               passions
               to
               your selfe
               ,
               as
               to
               shrowd
               them
               from
               others
               .
               Nor
               indeed
               can
               griefes
               be
               concealed
               .
               The
               face
               is
               the
               best
               Secretary
               of
               the
               heart
               ;
               and
               will
               expresse
               in
               silence
               ,
               what
               passions
               move
               disturbance
               .
               But
               it
               may
               be
               ,
               you
               wish
               one
               of
               more
               secrecie
               to
               impart
               your
               woes
               unto
               ;
               of
               secrecie
               you
               cannot
               ,
               of
               discipline
               you
               may
               .
               And
               though
               judgment
               wanteth
               yet
               shall
               secrecy
               and
               fidelity
               supply
               the
               place
               ,
               where
               more
               serious
               advice
               cannot
               instruct
               :
               Suspect
               me
               you
               need
               not
               ,
               for
               my
               life
               is
               due
               unto
               you
               ;
               and
               let
               this
               protestation
               serve
               for
               confirmance
               :
               when
               I
               cease
               to
               be
               yours
               ,
               I
               will
               cease
               to
               be
               mine
               owne
               .
            
             
             
               The
               Gentle
               woman
               seeing
               the
               character
               of
               a
               good
               Nature
               in
               his
               ill
               face
               ,
               and
               one
               that
               seemed
               willing
               to
               requite
               so
               inestimable
               a
               benefit
               as
               hee
               had
               received
               ,
               subjecting
               and
               consecrating
               his
               life
               where
               it
               was
               due
               :
               apprehended
               this
               occasion
               of
               delivering
               her
               surcharged
               brest
               ,
               recalling
               to
               mind
               how
               by
               his
               profession
               ,
               there
               might
               be
               some
               cure
               to
               the
               cause
               of
               her
               griefe
               .
               Guest
               (
               for
               so
               I
               will
               be
               bold
               to
               call
               you
               :
               )
               I
               know
               sorrowes
               are
               best
               allayed
               when
               imparted
               ,
               if
               hope
               of
               remedy
               ,
               or
               least
               appearance
               of
               release
               be
               expressed
               :
               But
               so
               farre
               is
               the
               nature
               of
               my
               sore
               above
               the
               search
               or
               reach
               of
               cure
               ,
               that
               in
               expressing
               them
               I
               seeme
               to
               augment
               them
               ,
               because
               the
               opening
               of
               my
               malady
               ,
               will
               instantly
               minister
               despaire
               of
               remedy
               :
               yet
               to
               satisfie
               your
               desire
               (
               that
               generally
               our
               hospitality
               may
               afford
               content
               )
               I
               will
               describe
               my
               griefes
               ,
               though
               by
               the
               relation
               I
               expect
               no
               ease
               .
               Know
               (
               my
               friend
               )
               that
               many
               yeares
               have
               my
               husband
               and
               I
               lived
               together
               ,
               without
               least
               difference
               or
               debate
               betweene
               us
               :
               and
               in
               that
               prosperity
               and
               happines
               of
               estate
               (
               if
               happines
               can
               consist
               in
               having
               
               sufficient
               )
               as
               we
               have
               not
               only
               a
               competency
               in
               our selves
               ,
               but
               have
               expressed
               and
               extended
               our
               bounties
               unto
               others
               :
               Yet
               in
               this
               seeming
               Beatitude
               ,
               in
               this
               height
               of
               riches
               (
               know
               my
               friend
               )
               that
               we
               are
               made
               miserable
               ,
               yea
               ,
               in
               our
               riches
               despicable
               ;
               the
               cause
               is
               drawne
               from
               our
               want
               of
               issue
               ,
               which
               you
               know
               (
               if
               ever
               experience
               gave
               you
               that
               comfort
               )
               to
               be
               the
               principall
               motive
               of
               true
               content
               ;
               ministring
               best
               solace
               to
               the
               parents
               griefes
               ;
               yea
               ,
               and
               reviveing
               their
               memory
               ,
               whē
               raked
               up
               in
               the
               ashes
               of
               oblivion
               .
               Alas
               sir
               ,
               what
               be
               these
               faire
               buildings
               ,
               flourishing
               Medes
               ,
               spacious
               Downes
               ,
               which
               you
               see
               wee
               are
               here
               possessed
               of
               ?
               they
               must
               of
               necessity
               succeed
               to
               some
               ,
               and
               it
               may
               be
               to
               some
               base
               Tartarian
               ,
               that
               will
               raze
               and
               deface
               the
               memory
               of
               our
               providence
               ,
               with
               his
               security
               ,
               riot
               ,
               and
               superfl●…ous
               expence
               .
               And
               what
               shall
               remaine
               of
               us
               ?
               scarce
               so
               much
               as
               that
               we
               were
               ;
               But
               why
               doe
               I
               beat
               the
               aire
               ,
               with
               a
               vaine
               repetition
               of
               misery
               ?
               You
               have
               heard
               sir
               the
               occasion
               of
               my
               griefe
               ,
               the
               motive
               of
               my
               discontent
               ;
               and
               I
               know
               you
               imagine
               it
               to
               bee
               
               above
               the
               compasse
               of
               remedy
               ,
               let
               it
               be
               sufficient
               that
               I
               have
               satisfied
               you
               ,
               that
               can
               satisfie
               my selfe
               in
               nothing
               save
               griefe
               .
            
             
               This
               discourse
               the
               Apothecary
               attentively
               observed
               :
               oftimes
               lifting
               up
               his
               hands
               to
               heaven
               ,
               thanking
               the
               powers
               divine
               ,
               that
               they
               had
               ministred
               him
               so
               ample
               and
               expedite
               an
               occasion
               ,
               both
               of
               shewing
               argument
               of
               his
               thankfulnesse
               ,
               and
               meanes
               to
               release
               this
               disconsolate
               woman
               of
               her
               pensivenesse
               .
               For
               this
               Cantharides
               was
               excellent
               for
               many
               Cures
               ,
               but
               for
               none
               so
               famous
               as
               for
               sterility
               or
               barrennesse
               :
               for
               which
               exquisite
               Art
               and
               knowledge
               ,
               hee
               was
               famous
               through
               all
               the
               Burmudoes
               Ilands
               :
               so
               that
               as
               no
               place
               was
               then
               more
               savage
               ,
               so
               no
               Region
               or
               Countrey
               had
               more
               fruitfull
               women
               in
               it
               .
               Thus
               therfore
               ,
               as
               soone
               as
               she
               had
               expressed
               the
               cause
               of
               her
               discontent
               ,
               with
               cheerful
               countenance
               he
               thus
               addressed
               his
               speech
               ;
            
             
               I
               HOPE
               (
               faire
               Mistris
               )
               this
               present
               occasion
               of
               your
               grieving
               shall
               be
               (
               ere
               long
               )
               the
               motivest
               cause
               of
               your
               joying
               :
               there
               is
               no
               cloud
               but
               it
               presages
               a
               following
               cleerenesse
               ,
               no●…
               
               tempest
               (
               but
               if
               over-past
               )
               moves
               the
               Mariners
               to
               more
               cheerefulnesse
               .
               The
               Halcyons
               song
               they
               say
               (
               Mistris
               )
               bodes
               a
               storme
               ;
               but
               the
               Dolphins
               playing
               ,
               portends
               a
               calme
               .
               Some
               sing
               against
               their
               death
               ,
               with
               the
               Swan
               ;
               and
               some
               sing
               against
               their
               birth
               ,
               with
               the
               Lark●…
               .
               Some
               plants
               are
               for
               expelling
               sorrow
               ,
               as
               the
               Mugwort
               ;
               as
               others
               to
               distract
               the
               senses
               with
               the
               Hemlocke
               .
               Some
               have
               vertue
               to
               cast
               sorrow
               on
               sleepe
               ,
               as
               the
               Saffron
               ;
               others
               to
               keepe
               them
               waking
               ,
               as
               the
               Moly
               .
               And
               Elements
               skirmish
               one
               with
               another
               ,
               lest
               man
               should
               be
               though
               onely
               to
               skirmish
               with
               himselfe
               .
               Windes
               that
               rise
               in
               the
               shoares
               of
               L●…panthos
               ,
               in
               the
               Morning
               ,
               send
               forth
               gusts
               from
               the
               North
               ,
               in
               the
               Evening
               ,
               calmes
               from
               the
               West
               .
               This
               I
               speake
               (
               Gentle
               woman
               )
               to
               expresse
               the
               limit
               of
               your
               griefe
               extended
               ,
               the
               web
               of
               your
               passions
               contracted
               ,
               and
               now
               your
               calme
               approching
               ,
               after
               so
               many
               billowes
               over-flowing
               .
               The
               cause
               of
               your
               griefe
               I
               know
               to
               be
               moving
               :
               for
               all
               creatures
               have
               ,
               and
               doe
               repose
               their
               greatest
               joy
               in
               their
               progeny
               :
               Priam
               and
               his
               miserable
               Hecuba
               before
               the
               ruine
               and
               
               desolation
               of
               that
               great
               and
               populous
               Citie
               ,
               which
               indured
               so
               many
               sieges
               ere
               it
               was
               sacked
               ,
               were
               esteemed
               happy
               in
               all
               things
               ,
               yet
               the
               complement
               of
               their
               happinesse
               consisted
               in
               their
               faire
               and
               flourishing
               issues
               .
               Herotinus
               had
               as
               much
               Temporall
               felicity
               ,
               as
               humane
               debility
               could
               attaine
               unto
               ,
               yet
               the
               extent
               of
               that
               felicity
               summ'd
               up
               it selfe
               in
               his
               600
               sonnes
               .
               And
               true
               it
               is
               you
               say
               ,
               that
               the
               posterity
               gives
               life
               to
               the
               deceased
               parent
               ;
               for
               as
               long
               as
               their
               issue
               surviveth
               ,
               their
               image
               seemes
               revived
               ,
               and
               Nature
               seemes
               to
               proportion
               a
               second
               selfe
               in
               the
               child
               ,
               being
               cast
               in
               the
               mould
               of
               the
               Parent
               .
               But
               whence
               this
               discourse
               !
               in
               expressing
               comforts
               of
               this
               nature
               ,
               and
               not
               ministring
               to
               your
               discomfort
               ,
               I
               seeme
               to
               imitate
               a
               rigorous
               and
               remorselesse
               Physician
               ,
               who
               before
               hee
               gives
               his
               Patienta
               Cordiall
               ,
               applies
               unto
               him
               extreamest
               Corasives
               .
               I
               am
               heartily
               glad
               (
               Gentle
               woman
               )
               I
               am
               arrived
               here
               for
               your
               sake
               ,
               and
               if
               divine
               powers
               ,
               (
               as
               sure
               they
               have
               )
               may
               bee
               thought
               to
               have
               a
               hand
               in
               mens
               preservation
               ,
               for
               a
               more
               excellent
               end
               or
               purpose
               ,
               sure
               that
               Aesculapius
               (
               which
               
               
               
               
               lenge
               that
               publique
               staine
               to
               deserved
               honour
               ;
               that
               corrupter
               of
               hospitalitie
               ;
               that
               pearle
               of
               greatnesse
               ,
               bottle-nosed
               Bacchus
               .
               Doest
               not
               remember
               ,
               how
               those
               ambitious
               Giants
               ,
               had
               well
               nye
               scaled
               thy
               fathers
               palace
               ;
               overthrowne
               the
               mansions
               of
               Heaven
               ;
               and
               made
               the
               whole
               Fabricke
               of
               Iove
               a
               pile
               of
               ruine
               ?
               And
               whence
               proceeded
               this
               ,
               but
               from
               Ioves
               too
               much
               lenitie
               ?
               Ixion
               would
               have
               (
               like
               thy
               Bacchus
               )
               beene
               a
               little
               too
               familiar
               with
               Iuno
               ,
               if
               Ioves
               transpiercing
               eyes
               had
               not
               diverted
               his
               owne
               scandall
               ,
               and
               preserved
               his
               Queenes
               honour
               .
               But
               see
               what
               just
               judgement
               he
               (
               in
               his
               powerfull
               Majestie
               )
               denounced
               on
               so
               impudent
               and
               ingratefull
               a
               Villaine
               :
               in
               stead
               of
               loving
               ,
               he
               is
               now
               rolling
               ,
               and
               must
               so
               perpetually
               ,
               the
               wheele
               of
               eternall
               anguish
               :
               Blessed
               prevention
               !
               Deserved
               censure
               !
               But
               thou
               (
               as
               one
               either
               secure
               of
               thine
               one
               shame
               ,
               or
               ignorant
               of
               publique
               infamie
               )
               ●…itst
               in
               a
               whoores
               lap
               ,
               makes
               Carols
               to
               be
               sung
               in
               honour
               of
               thy
               Bastard
               :
               O
               ,
               is
               not
               this
               brave
               sport
               for
               Bacchus
               ?
               Yes
               ,
               yes
               ,
               thy
               Tragedy
               yeelds
               ▪
               him
               an
               ample
               and
               spacious
               argument
               of
               a
               delightfull
               
               Comedy
               :
               For
               lately
               ,
               I
               heare
               ,
               hee
               presented
               an
               exquisite
               Enterlude
               ,
               all
               composed
               of
               thy
               follies
               :
               here
               presented
               one
               of
               his
               drunken
               Attendants
               ,
               thy
               Queene
               laughing
               ,
               another
               thy selfe
               sleeping
               ,
               and
               Bacehus
               brought
               in
               himselfe
               horning
               ;
               where
               ,
               like
               a
               second
               Al●…ides
               ,
               he
               makes
               thy
               browes
               his
               columnes
               ,
               on
               which
               he
               engraves
               his
               perpetuall
               motto
               ,
               
                 Non
                 ul●…ra
              
               .
               Here
               is
               excellent
               worke
               for
               a
               silent
               asse
               to
               bee
               hood-winkt
               in
               !
               What
               Pilot
               ,
               seeing
               an
               imminent
               tempest
               approaching
               ,
               will
               not
               cast
               anchor
               ,
               or
               retire
               to
               harbour
               ?
               But
               thou
               ,
               seeing
               the
               tempest
               of
               thy
               shame
               ,
               not
               imminent
               ,
               but
               transparent
               ,
               sleep'st
               with
               the
               Dormouse
               ,
               and
               risest
               with
               the
               Snaile
               ,
               horned
               .
               I
               will
               be
               briefe
               ,
               though
               a
               matter
               of
               this
               consequence
               ,
               requires
               a
               world
               of
               instruction
               :
               make
               me
               Italian
               worke
               in
               their
               guts
               ,
               play
               mee
               Tereus
               part
               :
               Thou
               hast
               no
               Progne
               ,
               but
               a
               strumpet
               ;
               no
               Philom●…la
               ,
               but
               an
               impudent
               prostistute
               .
               Cut
               out
               her
               tongue
               ,
               and
               shee
               will
               not
               blab
               thy
               shame
               :
               hang
               up
               Bacchus
               for
               an
               Ivie
               bush
               at
               everie
               Taverne
               doore
               in
               Hell.
               Let
               
                 Monsieur
                 Claret
              
               (
               who
               I
               am
               credibly
               enformed
               
               was
               his
               Pandor
               )
               bee
               drunke
               of
               none
               but
               Tinkers
               ,
               and
               let
               them
               drinke
               till
               they
               surfet
               ,
               that
               they
               may
               spue
               him
               in
               the
               street
               againe
               .
               O
               that
               I
               could
               expresse
               the
               infinitenesse
               of
               the
               malady
               which
               thou
               art
               incident
               to
               ,
               and
               knowes
               it
               not
               ;
               made
               a
               monster
               and
               observes
               it
               not
               ;
               laught
               at
               by
               thine
               owne
               Planter
               ,
               and
               sees
               it
               not
               ;
               balladed
               at
               by
               a
               nastie
               troope
               of
               Gally-foists
               ,
               Villaines
               of
               the
               last
               edition
               ;
               proclai
               med
               Recreants
               to
               the
               field
               of
               Vertue
               ,
               and
               whipped
               in
               the
               Statute
               Booke
               of
               S●…turne
               .
               And
               yet
               (
               my
               squeamish
               Cosin
               )
               you
               cannot
               see
               into
               the
               eye●…ore
               of
               your
               reproach
               .
               P●…oebus
               so
               much
               respects
               you
               ,
               hee
               will
               not
               visit
               you
               ,
               lest
               his
               approach
               should
               publish
               your
               shame
               :
               Luna
               ,
               like
               a
               modest
               and
               chaste
               matrone
               ,
               because
               her
               ordinarie
               habiliment
               is
               an
               horne
               ,
               will
               not
               see
               you
               ,
               lest
               she
               put
               you
               in
               minde
               of
               that
               badge
               you
               weare
               .
               The
               Planets
               ,
               as
               more
               favourable
               and
               auspicious
               than
               you
               are
               to
               your selfe
               ,
               will
               not
               come
               neere
               your
               cave
               (
               for
               they
               are
               verily
               resolved
               )
               you
               are
               planet-strucke
               already
               .
               As
               I
               am
               your
               friend
               ,
               so
               take
               my
               counsell
               ;
               put
               her
               away
               ,
               that
               has
               put
               
               you
               in
               for
               all
               day
               ;
               live
               to
               bee
               your selfe
               ,
               and
               not
               to
               be
               an
               impeachment
               to
               your selfe
               :
               Some
               here
               of
               my
               fraternitie
               laugh
               at
               you
               ,
               others
               in
               compassion
               pitie
               your
               miserie
               .
               Neither
               pitie
               ,
               nor
               scorne
               ,
               are
               estates
               worth
               having
               :
               so
               cleere
               your
               disgrace
               ,
               and
               wipe
               off
               the
               blemish
               laid
               upon
               your
               Deitie
               ,
               that
               those
               friends
               which
               pitied
               you
               ,
               may
               convert
               their
               pitie
               into
               joy
               ,
               others
               that
               scorned
               you
               ,
               may
               convert
               their
               hate
               to
               envie
               .
               Howsoever
               ,
               remaine
               but
               your
               friend
               ,
               as
               Mercurie
               will
               rest
               ever
               your
               Approved
               ,
               &c.
               
            
             
               After
               the
               perusall
               of
               this
               letter
               ,
               you
               may
               imagine
               what
               cold
               swounds
               came
               over
               poore
               Pluto's
               heart
               :
               so
               as
               in
               the
               increase
               of
               his
               distractions
               ,
               and
               decrease
               of
               his
               comforts
               ,
               which
               he
               imagined
               matchlesse
               ,
               by
               the
               new
               birth
               of
               his
               supposed
               heire
               :
               in
               the
               retirednesse
               of
               his
               passions
               (
               which
               seeme
               most
               bitter
               when
               most
               retired
               )
               hee
               thus
               conferred
               with
               himselfe
               ;
               expostulating
               the
               probabilities
               of
               these
               suspects
               ,
               with
               the
               sinceritie
               of
               his
               approved
               and
               ever
               trustie
               friend
               Mercurie
               ;
               of
               whose
               undoubted
               fidelitie
               hee
               made
               no
               question
               :
               yet
               because
               the
               long-rooted
               
               conceit
               of
               Proserpina's
               constancie
               ,
               and
               her
               generall
               respect
               to
               honour
               ingendred
               in
               him
               a
               doubtfulnesse
               how
               to
               resolve
               :
               yet
               in
               the
               end
               Mercuries
               information
               is
               preferred
               before
               his
               first
               resolution
               .
               The
               divers
               enforcive
               causes
               whereof
               may
               appeare
               more
               amply
               in
               this
               private
               discourse
               to
               himselfe
               .
            
             
               
                 Pluto's
                 passions
                 .
              
               
                 A
                 Letter
                 Pluto
                 ?
                 Yes
                 ,
                 and
                 a
                 bitter
                 one
                 :
                 By
                 these
                 contents
                 I
                 should
                 need
                 an
                 extraordinary
                 night
                 cap
                 ,
                 for
                 mine
                 eares
                 by
                 all
                 Heavens
                 Consistories
                 bee
                 supposed
                 hornes
                 .
                 And
                 by
                 whom
                 should
                 these
                 monstrous
                 Appendices
                 bee
                 created
                 ?
                 The
                 letter
                 saith
                 by
                 Bacchus
                 .
                 Verie
                 good
                 ;
                 then
                 consequently
                 am
                 I
                 mine
                 owne
                 Pandor
                 ,
                 that
                 entertained
                 a
                 Villaine
                 to
                 lye
                 with
                 my
                 wife
                 .
                 Yet
                 I
                 can
                 hardly
                 beleeve
                 it
                 :
                 Proserpina
                 hath
                 lived
                 many
                 yeeres
                 with
                 me
                 ,
                 and
                 was
                 never
                 yet
                 detected
                 :
                 shee
                 ever
                 preferred
                 her
                 estimation
                 above
                 any
                 inordinate
                 thought
                 of
                 breach
                 ,
                 or
                 violation
                 of
                 honour
                 ;
                 
                 and
                 as
                 proper
                 personages
                 were
                 in
                 my
                 Dominions
                 ,
                 as
                 ever
                 Bacchu●…
                 will
                 make
                 :
                 and
                 can
                 I
                 thinke
                 a
                 drunken
                 Swad
                 can
                 so
                 soone
                 seduce
                 my
                 Queene
                 from
                 her
                 respect
                 to
                 honour
                 ?
                 No
                 ,
                 no
                 :
                 sure
                 Mercurie
                 would
                 have
                 me
                 divorce
                 my
                 Queene
                 ,
                 to
                 possesse
                 her
                 himselfe
                 :
                 I
                 know
                 not
                 ,
                 if
                 there
                 bee
                 knaverie
                 in
                 Mercurie
                 ,
                 there
                 must
                 needs
                 be
                 villanie
                 in
                 amitie
                 .
                 Yet
                 Mercurie
                 was
                 ever
                 a
                 faithfull
                 and
                 approved
                 friend
                 to
                 me
                 :
                 and
                 sure
                 such
                 a
                 report
                 hee
                 has
                 heard
                 ,
                 and
                 that
                 ,
                 no●…
                 ordinarie
                 neither
                 ,
                 for
                 it
                 seemes
                 it
                 is
                 confirmed
                 by
                 the
                 generall
                 rumour
                 of
                 the
                 Gods.
                 Why
                 then
                 Pluto
                 (
                 to
                 make
                 the
                 conclusion
                 agree
                 with
                 the
                 premises
                 )
                 thou
                 art
                 a
                 Cuckold
                 :
                 and
                 that
                 bladder-fac'd
                 ,
                 goggle-ey'd
                 ,
                 rheumaticke
                 Rascall
                 ,
                 Bacchus
                 ,
                 has
                 been
                 penning
                 a
                 set
                 speech
                 in
                 Proserpina's
                 Note-booke
                 .
                 VVhat
                 remedy
                 ?
                 I
                 shall
                 bee
                 set
                 in
                 blacke
                 and
                 white
                 for
                 it
                 :
                 to
                 bee
                 the
                 first
                 Prince
                 of
                 hell
                 that
                 ever
                 bore
                 horne
                 for
                 his
                 crest
                 ,
                 and
                 mine
                 impresse
                 shall
                 bee
                 about
                 it
                 ,
                 
                   Inopem
                   me
                   copia
                   fecit
                
                 ;
                 no
                 rather
                 ,
                 
                   Haec
                   sunt
                   insignia
                   Bacchi
                
                 .
                 Miserable
                 Pluto
                 .
                 canst
                 thou
                 descant
                 of
                 thine
                 owne
                 shame
                 without
                 blushing
                 ?
                 to
                 have
                 thy
                 
                 Gem
                 soiled
                 by
                 a
                 Canker-worme
                 ?
                 a
                 mop-fac'd
                 Rogue
                 ,
                 that
                 seldome
                 or
                 never
                 lyes
                 in
                 sheets
                 ,
                 but
                 makes
                 the
                 Taverne
                 his
                 lodging
                 chamber
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 bulke
                 his
                 pillow
                 .
                 O
                 inconstant
                 Proserpina
                 ,
                 to
                 chuse
                 a
                 lowsie
                 Knave
                 ,
                 base
                 in
                 education
                 ,
                 grosser
                 in
                 conversation
                 ,
                 and
                 odious
                 to
                 all
                 but
                 Flemmish
                 Brittons
                 !
                 Could
                 none
                 satisfie
                 thee
                 (
                 unsatiate
                 Messalina
                 )
                 but
                 the
                 dregs
                 of
                 pollution
                 ,
                 and
                 that
                 never
                 made
                 difference
                 twixt
                 lust
                 and
                 love
                 ?
                 How
                 thine
                 eyes
                 were
                 dazled
                 ?
                 How
                 farre
                 thou
                 disparagedst
                 thy
                 judgement
                 ?
                 Couldst
                 thou
                 see
                 any
                 such
                 excellencie
                 in
                 Bacchus
                 ,
                 or
                 any
                 one
                 good
                 condition
                 to
                 approve
                 thy
                 choyce
                 ?
                 Was
                 hee
                 so
                 farre
                 above
                 thy
                 Pluto
                 ,
                 as
                 thou
                 preferredst
                 him
                 before
                 thy
                 Pluto
                 ?
                 Blush
                 at
                 thine
                 impudence
                 :
                 Or
                 if
                 Bacchus
                 grape
                 have
                 taken
                 so
                 deepe
                 a
                 tincture
                 in
                 thy
                 blushlesse
                 face
                 ,
                 as
                 thou
                 canst
                 not
                 expresse
                 thy
                 shame
                 by
                 the
                 outward
                 character
                 of
                 a
                 blush
                 ,
                 at
                 least
                 send
                 out
                 a
                 relenting
                 teare
                 ,
                 and
                 that
                 perhaps
                 will
                 mollifie
                 the
                 heart
                 of
                 thy
                 abused
                 husband
                 .
                 To
                 whom
                 should
                 I
                 appeale
                 to
                 ?
                 If
                 to
                 mine
                 owne
                 Judges
                 ,
                 I
                 shall
                 rumour
                 mine
                 owne
                 shame
                 in
                 Hell
                 ,
                 as
                 it
                 is
                 dispersed
                 
                 already
                 in
                 Heaven
                 .
                 If
                 I
                 appeale
                 to
                 Earth
                 ,
                 that
                 rancorous
                 Troope
                 of
                 incarnate
                 Devils
                 will
                 answer
                 mee
                 ,
                 it
                 is
                 ordinarie
                 with
                 them
                 to
                 have
                 Cuckolds
                 ,
                 and
                 they
                 never
                 enacted
                 Law
                 against
                 that
                 Veniall
                 Errour
                 .
                 To
                 bee
                 briefe
                 ,
                 they
                 will
                 absolutely
                 conclude
                 they
                 have
                 no
                 Law
                 for
                 it
                 .
                 If
                 I
                 appeale
                 to
                 my
                 father
                 Iove
                 ,
                 and
                 present
                 a
                 bill
                 of
                 complaint
                 to
                 the
                 Senate
                 of
                 Heaven
                 against
                 mine
                 owne
                 wife
                 ,
                 I
                 shall
                 bee
                 but
                 laught
                 at
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 cause
                 will
                 be
                 protracted
                 ,
                 and
                 my selfe
                 the
                 while
                 eternally
                 tormented
                 with
                 delay
                 of
                 revenge
                 :
                 But
                 what
                 bids
                 Mercurie
                 mee
                 doe
                 ?
                 Play
                 Tereus
                 part
                 ,
                 cut
                 out
                 her
                 tongue
                 ,
                 and
                 she
                 will
                 not
                 blab
                 my
                 dishonour
                 :
                 That
                 were
                 a
                 ready
                 way
                 ;
                 and
                 yet
                 hardly
                 were
                 that
                 course
                 secure
                 either
                 ;
                 a
                 woman
                 will
                 make
                 a
                 shift
                 to
                 speake
                 ,
                 if
                 her
                 tongue
                 be
                 cut
                 out
                 :
                 there
                 is
                 no
                 hope
                 in
                 so
                 desperate
                 a
                 cure
                 .
                 Come
                 ,
                 come
                 ,
                 I
                 have
                 it
                 :
                 hang
                 laughter
                 :
                 Am
                 I
                 a
                 proclaimed
                 Cuckold
                 ,
                 and
                 therfore
                 a
                 complete
                 honest
                 man
                 ,
                 and
                 will
                 not
                 I
                 seeke
                 remedy
                 for
                 mine
                 imputation
                 ?
                 Is
                 it
                 not
                 a
                 reproach
                 for
                 Pluto
                 ,
                 to
                 bee
                 termed
                 a
                 Wittall
                 ,
                 a
                 plaine
                 honest
                 well-meaning
                 Cuckold
                 ?
                 By
                 my
                 regiment
                 
                 of
                 
                   S●…yx
                   ,
                   Lethe
                
                 ,
                 and
                 Phlegeton
                 :
                 and
                 by
                 all
                 my
                 power
                 I
                 have
                 in
                 this
                 inferiour
                 Government
                 ,
                 I
                 had
                 rather
                 be
                 entituled
                 knave
                 ,
                 than
                 honest
                 .
                 But
                 where
                 's
                 my
                 Revenge
                 ?
                 To
                 
                   Iupiter
                   Pluto
                
                 ,
                 to
                 Iupiter
                 ;
                 he
                 will
                 pittie
                 his
                 sonnes
                 misfortune
                 ,
                 and
                 censure
                 Bacchus
                 (
                 that
                 slavering
                 Hogshead
                 )
                 according
                 to
                 his
                 deserts
                 .
                 If
                 I
                 put
                 up
                 this
                 injurie
                 ,
                 let
                 me
                 be
                 thrust
                 from
                 my
                 chaire
                 of
                 state
                 ,
                 my
                 kingdome
                 of
                 Tartarie
                 for
                 ever
                 .
                 Shew
                 remorse
                 on
                 me
                 ,
                 and
                 inflict
                 revenge
                 (
                 thou
                 Tonitruous
                 Iupiter
                 )
                 upon
                 this
                 Horne-maker
                 :
                 for
                 if
                 thou
                 doe
                 not
                 :
                 
                   Flectere
                   si
                   nequeo
                   superos
                   ,
                   Acheronta
                   movebo
                   .
                
                 I
                 will
                 Iupiter
                 ,
                 I
                 will
                 ;
                 I
                 'le
                 play
                 the
                 Giants
                 part
                 ;
                 skale
                 thy
                 airy
                 Turrets
                 ;
                 raze
                 downe
                 thy
                 burnish'd
                 Pyramids
                 ;
                 ravish
                 the
                 Beauties
                 of
                 thy
                 Court
                 ;
                 and
                 make
                 one
                 of
                 my
                 bas●…st
                 slaves
                 lye
                 with
                 thy
                 Queene
                 before
                 thy
                 face
                 .
                 Passion
                 may
                 be
                 long
                 silent
                 ,
                 but
                 not
                 supprest
                 :
                 Injuries
                 may
                 be
                 endured
                 ,
                 but
                 not
                 quite
                 supplanted
                 :
                 I
                 will
                 first
                 ,
                 like
                 a
                 poore
                 solicitor
                 ,
                 attend
                 thy
                 Court
                 with
                 lenity
                 ,
                 my
                 next
                 approach
                 shall
                 be
                 in
                 thunder
                 .
              
               
                 PLVTO
                 seconds
                 his
                 passion
                 with
                 a
                 complaint
                 to
                 Iupiter
                 ,
                 the
                 processe
                 
                 whereof
                 how
                 it
                 fell
                 out
                 ,
                 you
                 shall
                 heare
                 afterward
                 .
                 VVe
                 must
                 now
                 returne
                 to
                 Plutoes
                 young
                 hei●…e
                 ,
                 and
                 how
                 suspicion
                 arose
                 from
                 Acarno
                 the
                 Midwife
                 ,
                 touching
                 the
                 birth
                 of
                 this
                 young
                 Brat
                 .
                 One
                 day
                 swathling
                 this
                 wan●…on
                 Bastard
                 ,
                 she
                 perceived
                 a
                 marke
                 in
                 the
                 childs
                 brest
                 ,
                 resembling
                 the
                 proportion
                 of
                 a
                 Vine
                 :
                 the
                 feature
                 of
                 the
                 leaves
                 ,
                 spurges
                 ,
                 and
                 Grapes
                 ,
                 so
                 artificiall
                 naturall
                 ,
                 as
                 made
                 the
                 old
                 Trot
                 exceedingly
                 amazed
                 :
                 on
                 she
                 rowles
                 to
                 Proserpina
                 ,
                 and
                 shewes
                 her
                 this
                 wonder
                 ;
                 the
                 good
                 Queene
                 marvelled
                 not
                 a
                 whit
                 (
                 for
                 she
                 had
                 no
                 reason
                 )
                 knowing
                 it
                 to
                 be
                 Ba●…chus
                 stampe
                 :
                 yet
                 least
                 this
                 should
                 be
                 occasion
                 of
                 difference
                 twixt
                 her
                 and
                 Pluto
                 ;
                 whose
                 jealousie
                 she
                 had
                 now
                 a
                 little
                 perceived
                 ;
                 calls
                 for
                 Iris
                 the
                 Post-Boy
                 in
                 Hell
                 ,
                 and
                 commands
                 him
                 ,
                 after
                 she
                 had
                 inchanted
                 him
                 with
                 her
                 Ebon
                 wand
                 ,
                 that
                 he
                 might
                 goe
                 and
                 come
                 invisible
                 ,
                 to
                 take
                 his
                 course
                 instantly
                 to
                 the
                 North-part
                 of
                 Ta●…tary
                 ,
                 (
                 on
                 which
                 Border
                 ,
                 the
                 Iles
                 of
                 the
                 Burmudoes
                 are
                 seated
                 )
                 and
                 there
                 he
                 should
                 find
                 〈◊〉
                 child
                 in
                 the
                 C●…adle
                 .
                 VVhich
                 child
                 she
                 enjoyned
                 him
                 with
                 all
                 expedition
                 and
                 taciturnity
                 
                 to
                 convey
                 from
                 thence
                 ,
                 and
                 bring
                 it
                 to
                 her
                 ;
                 where
                 ,
                 at
                 his
                 returne
                 hee
                 should
                 heare
                 the
                 rest
                 of
                 her
                 will
                 ;
                 intending
                 ,
                 as
                 after
                 appeared
                 ,
                 to
                 convey
                 her
                 young
                 Bacchus
                 in
                 his
                 place
                 ,
                 that
                 all
                 suspicion
                 might
                 be
                 avoyded
                 :
                 and
                 this
                 stamp
                 of
                 the
                 true
                 father
                 neither
                 might
                 ingender
                 occasion
                 nor
                 argument
                 of
                 suspect
                 or
                 jealousie
                 in
                 the
                 troubled
                 head
                 of
                 her
                 husband
                 .
              
               
                 On
                 Iris
                 goes
                 in
                 his
                 Ambassage
                 (
                 winged
                 to
                 make
                 the
                 course
                 more
                 speedy
                 )
                 nor
                 rests
                 he
                 his
                 wearied
                 body
                 ,
                 till
                 arrived
                 at
                 the
                 utmost
                 Cape
                 of
                 Burmudoes
                 sea
                 ,
                 where
                 after
                 long
                 search
                 ,
                 he
                 findes
                 the
                 joyfull
                 house
                 of
                 Nepenthes
                 :
                 in
                 he
                 goes
                 (
                 and
                 in
                 the
                 darke
                 covert
                 of
                 night
                 ,
                 when
                 cares
                 get
                 repose
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 ambitious
                 thoughts
                 of
                 men
                 find
                 harbou●…
                 )
                 he
                 easily
                 takes
                 the
                 poore
                 infant
                 from
                 beside
                 his
                 sleeping
                 parents
                 .
                 Up
                 hee
                 mounts
                 with
                 the
                 child
                 ,
                 and
                 with
                 as
                 much
                 〈◊〉
                 returnes
                 to
                 the
                 care
                 seased
                 Chamber
                 of
                 Proserpina
                 :
                 where
                 sitting
                 alone
                 (
                 for
                 Pluto
                 was
                 turned
                 〈◊〉
                 in
                 heavens
                 conclave
                 )
                 seeing
                 〈◊〉
                 come
                 into
                 the
                 chamber
                 ,
                 with
                 as
                 quicke
                 〈◊〉
                 (
                 as
                 if
                 her
                 senses
                 before
                 estranged
                 from
                 her
                 ,
                 had
                 
                 beene
                 suddenly
                 revived
                 .
                 The
                 child
                 she
                 receives
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 child
                 with
                 as
                 cheerefull
                 a
                 countenance
                 ,
                 flies
                 into
                 her
                 bosome
                 .
                 Pretty
                 brat
                 ,
                 that
                 occasions
                 no
                 little
                 griefe
                 to
                 thy
                 poore
                 parents
                 ,
                 that
                 in
                 their
                 sleepe
                 possessed
                 thee
                 ,
                 but
                 waking
                 in
                 the
                 survey
                 of
                 their
                 barrennesse
                 makest
                 their
                 lives
                 loathed
                 ,
                 but
                 their
                 griefes
                 must
                 not
                 be
                 dilated
                 by
                 our
                 pen
                 ;
                 we
                 will
                 leave
                 them
                 sorrowing
                 ,
                 &
                 returne
                 to
                 Plutoes
                 successe
                 in
                 his
                 suit
                 .
              
               
                 Pros●…rpina
                 now
                 at
                 hearts
                 ease
                 ,
                 intending
                 next
                 morning
                 to
                 send
                 her
                 bastard
                 to
                 Nepenthes
                 house
                 ,
                 that
                 it
                 might
                 remaine
                 there
                 fostred
                 in
                 stead
                 of
                 their
                 owne
                 ;
                 was
                 prevented
                 by
                 her
                 husbands
                 returne
                 ;
                 who
                 came
                 in
                 as
                 she
                 was
                 committing
                 and
                 commending
                 the
                 child
                 to
                 the
                 care
                 ,
                 tuition
                 ,
                 and
                 safe
                 convoy
                 of
                 her
                 Herald
                 Iris.
                 How
                 these
                 two
                 encountred
                 may
                 be
                 imagined
                 by
                 Plutoes
                 former
                 passion
                 ;
                 yet
                 to
                 make
                 our
                 discourse
                 more
                 complete
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 series
                 of
                 our
                 tale
                 with
                 better
                 concordance
                 knit
                 up
                 ;
                 You
                 may
                 suppose
                 Pluto
                 entring
                 his
                 Queenes
                 chamber
                 ,
                 and
                 with
                 sparkling
                 eyes
                 ,
                 severe
                 looke
                 and
                 menacing
                 aspect
                 ,
                 thus
                 chastising
                 her
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 Proserpina
                 encountred
                 by
                 Pluto
                 .
              
               
                 IMpudent
                 Minion
                 !
                 doest
                 thou
                 imagine
                 Pluto
                 has
                 no
                 eyes
                 ,
                 because
                 he
                 weares
                 horns
                 ?
                 Let
                 go
                 the
                 bastard
                 ;
                 he
                 that
                 fathers
                 it
                 is
                 able
                 to
                 keepe
                 it
                 ;
                 Thou
                 hast
                 stuff'd
                 my
                 head
                 with
                 horne
                 shavings
                 ;
                 made
                 me
                 infamous
                 for
                 ever
                 ;
                 derided
                 in
                 heaven
                 ;
                 contemned
                 on
                 earth
                 ;
                 and
                 pittied
                 in
                 hell
                 .
                 None
                 but
                 Bac●…hus
                 (
                 insatiate
                 strumpet
                 )
                 to
                 flie
                 to
                 ,
                 That
                 on
                 my
                 knowledge
                 is
                 buzling
                 with
                 every
                 milke-maide
                 !
                 Am
                 I
                 the
                 Rhynoceros
                 thou
                 hast
                 branched
                 ?
                 the
                 first
                 Cuckold
                 of
                 thy
                 making
                 !
                 and
                 the
                 first
                 that
                 ever
                 was
                 in
                 hell
                 created
                 !
                 and
                 thou
                 it
                 seemes
                 (
                 to
                 blinde
                 my
                 eyes
                 )
                 wouldst
                 cōvey
                 this
                 Brat
                 to
                 some
                 desclate
                 promontory
                 ,
                 some
                 Anchorage
                 or
                 Sotary
                 ,
                 for
                 to
                 pray
                 for
                 thy
                 lewdnesse
                 ?
                 Sure
                 I
                 thinke
                 if
                 ever
                 it
                 proved
                 Fryer
                 it
                 were
                 not
                 of
                 the
                 mothers
                 mind
                 ,
                 but
                 ere
                 five
                 eares
                 were
                 expired
                 ,
                 it
                 would
                 sing
                 ,
                 
                   The
                   Fryer
                   has
                   lost
                   his
                   breeches
                   .
                
                 Out
                 Cockatrice
                 ,
                 out
                 :
                 with
                 what
                 forehead
                 canst
                 thou
                 plead
                 for
                 pardon
                 ?
                 I
                 that
                 tooke
                 thee
                 up
                 ,
                 as
                 
                 earthly
                 Gallants
                 ,
                 take
                 up
                 light
                 commodities
                 ,
                 stragling
                 from
                 thy
                 mother
                 ,
                 hath
                 found
                 thee
                 now
                 strayed
                 from
                 thy
                 honour
                 .
                 I
                 will
                 never
                 keepe
                 holiday
                 in
                 thy
                 remembrance
                 hereafter
                 ,
                 so
                 long
                 as
                 thy
                 wind-pipe
                 is
                 open
                 .
                 Thy
                 melody
                 shall
                 be
                 converted
                 to
                 shriking
                 ;
                 thy
                 best
                 of
                 delights
                 to
                 perpetuall
                 dispairing
                 ;
                 and
                 thy
                 late
                 banquetting
                 to
                 incessant
                 tormenting
                 .
                 Cuckold
                 Pluto
                 ,
                 you
                 strumpet
                 ,
                 and
                 none
                 but
                 Bacchus
                 to
                 doe
                 him
                 that
                 dishonour
                 !
                 Better
                 could
                 I
                 have
                 beene
                 pacified
                 ,
                 a●…d
                 sooner
                 had
                 the
                 passion
                 of
                 my
                 eter●…all
                 choll●…r
                 been
                 mittigated
                 ,
                 if
                 any
                 within
                 my
                 owne
                 Regiment
                 had
                 done
                 it
                 :
                 But
                 a
                 drunken
                 slave
                 ,
                 that
                 in
                 the
                 height
                 of
                 his
                 Cups
                 ,
                 will
                 rumour
                 my
                 hornes
                 to
                 all
                 his
                 Cup-shot
                 Assacinats
                 !
                 Goe
                 to
                 Hell
                 shall
                 roare
                 for
                 ▪
                 t.
                 Thy
                 liberty
                 shall
                 be
                 perpetuall
                 imprisonment
                 ;
                 thy
                 life
                 horrour
                 ;
                 and
                 though
                 thou
                 wish
                 death
                 ,
                 yet
                 ,
                 he
                 shal
                 not
                 be
                 so
                 thankfull
                 as
                 come
                 ,
                 if
                 it
                 be
                 but
                 to
                 augment
                 and
                 aggravate
                 thy
                 misery
                 .
                 And
                 for
                 thy
                 Bastard
                 ,
                 heare
                 Ioves
                 decree
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 Ioves
                 Decree
                 .
              
               
                 BY
                 the
                 power
                 of
                 my
                 command
                 ,
                 Iove
                 the
                 supernall
                 commander
                 of
                 heaven
                 ,
                 soveraigne
                 of
                 earth
                 ,
                 head
                 Prince
                 of
                 the
                 Mediteranean
                 ,
                 and
                 absolute
                 Emperour
                 of
                 the
                 Tartars
                 ,
                 planter
                 of
                 Iles
                 ,
                 establisher
                 of
                 Nations
                 ,
                 Extirper
                 of
                 the
                 Bastard
                 Race
                 ,
                 auspicious
                 Protector
                 of
                 chaste
                 affections
                 ,
                 ratefies
                 this
                 decree
                 following
                 :
                 Whereas
                 Pluto
                 our
                 well-beloved
                 sonne
                 ,
                 upon
                 just
                 complaint
                 of
                 Bacchu●…
                 ,
                 and
                 his
                 licentious
                 Queene
                 Pros●…rpina
                 ,
                 hath
                 informed
                 us
                 of
                 illegitimate
                 issue
                 ,
                 descended
                 from
                 their
                 unchaste
                 loynes
                 .
                 And
                 that
                 the
                 Bastard
                 (
                 as
                 an
                 apparant
                 and
                 evident
                 note
                 of
                 his
                 dishonour
                 ,
                 continues
                 in
                 the
                 Court
                 of
                 Hell
                 ,
                 to
                 a
                 publike
                 contumelie
                 of
                 the
                 said
                 Pluto
                 ,
                 and
                 no
                 lesse
                 griefe
                 to
                 us
                 .
                 We
                 therefore
                 ,
                 to
                 root
                 out
                 the
                 very
                 memory
                 of
                 such
                 disgrace
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 being
                 of
                 so
                 worthy
                 an
                 issue
                 :
                 doe
                 in
                 our
                 power
                 transforme
                 the
                 said
                 Bastard
                 (
                 in
                 resembrance
                 of
                 Aca●…thus
                 )
                 into
                 a
                 
                 a
                 Plant
                 ;
                 which
                 ,
                 to
                 expresse
                 his
                 father
                 shall
                 still
                 reserve
                 the
                 name
                 of
                 his
                 progenitor
                 Bacchus
                 :
                 and
                 therefore
                 have
                 we
                 in
                 his
                 memory
                 ,
                 called
                 him
                 (
                 as
                 one
                 commended
                 to
                 the
                 care
                 ,
                 protection
                 ,
                 and
                 tuition
                 of
                 his
                 father
                 )
                 Tobacco
                 ,
                 the
                 curse
                 whereof
                 we
                 referre
                 to
                 the
                 consideration
                 of
                 our
                 sonne
                 Pluto
                 ,
                 whose
                 injuries
                 we
                 in
                 compassion
                 feele
                 in
                 our selfe
                 .
                 And
                 that
                 our
                 decree
                 is
                 not
                 to
                 be
                 abbrogated
                 nor
                 disanulled
                 ;
                 We
                 have
                 here
                 in
                 our
                 celestiall
                 Consistory
                 ,
                 Sealed
                 it
                 with
                 the
                 subscription
                 of
                 our
                 glorious
                 Synode
                 subsined
                 ,
                 
                   Mars
                   ,
                   Mercury
                   ,
                   Saturn
                   ,
                   Neptune
                   ,
                   Aeolus
                   ▪
                   &c.
                   
                
                 Our
                 decree
                 is
                 not
                 to
                 be
                 adjorned
                 ,
                 but
                 with
                 expedition
                 confirmed
                 .
                 For
                 Proserpina
                 ,
                 to
                 pray
                 is
                 bootlesse
                 ;
                 prayers
                 are
                 out
                 of
                 season
                 ;
                 or
                 to
                 weepe
                 and
                 deplore
                 her
                 present
                 misery
                 ,
                 is
                 fruitlesse
                 ;
                 teares
                 cannot
                 move
                 remorse
                 .
                 The
                 Decree
                 must
                 be
                 performed
                 ,
                 and
                 so
                 it
                 was
                 :
                 for
                 Medusa
                 ,
                 that
                 brave
                 inchantresse
                 ,
                 is
                 sent
                 for
                 according
                 to
                 Ioves
                 Decree
                 :
                 and
                 she
                 with
                 her
                 Snaky-rod
                 catching
                 the
                 child
                 ,
                 with
                 the
                 Decree
                 read
                 over
                 it
                 ,
                 transformes
                 it
                 presently
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 
                   The
                   Argument
                   of
                   the
                   following
                   Discourse
                   .
                
                 
                   NOVGHT
                   now
                   but
                   leaves
                   for
                   that
                   same
                   feature
                   cleare
                   ,
                
                 
                   Which
                   but
                   of
                   late
                   did
                   in
                   the
                   child
                   appeare
                   .
                
                 
                   The
                   root
                   ,
                   the
                   feet
                   ,
                   the
                   body
                   was
                   the
                   stemme
                   ,
                
                 
                   So
                   much
                   commended
                   now
                   of
                   mortall
                   men
                   :
                
                 
                   His
                   father
                   heard
                   it
                   ,
                   that
                   his
                   child
                   should
                   take
                
                 
                   Anoth●…r
                   feature
                   ,
                   and
                   another
                   shape
                   :
                
                 
                   Incenst
                   at
                   first
                   ,
                   yet
                   makes
                   his
                   sonne
                   divine
                   ;
                
                 
                   For
                   Bacchus
                   steepes
                   Tobacco
                   in
                   his
                   wine
                   .
                
                 
                   The
                   sonne
                   makes
                   sober
                   ,
                   and
                   the
                   father
                   drunke
                   ;
                
                 
                   Thus
                   by
                   Hels
                   birth
                   ,
                   Earth's
                   to
                   confusion
                   su●…ke
                   .
                
                 
                   Now
                   wee
                   'l
                   proceed
                   as
                   times
                   be
                   worse
                   and
                   wors●…
                   ,
                
                 
                   From
                   Bacchus
                   blessing
                   ,
                   to
                   Tobacco's
                   curse
                   .
                
              
               
                 The
                 curse
                 of
                 Tobacco
                 ,
                 or
                 ,
                 Pluto's
                 blessing
                 to
                 Tobacco
                 .
              
               
                 TO
                 returne
                 to
                 the
                 miserable
                 
                 state
                 of
                 those
                 poore
                 Ilanders
                 ,
                 that
                 were
                 now
                 deprived
                 (
                 unawares
                 )
                 of
                 their
                 choycest
                 and
                 selectedst
                 comfort
                 :
                 I
                 need
                 not
                 ,
                 onely
                 to
                 expresse
                 the
                 renuall
                 of
                 their
                 hopes
                 ;
                 Know
                 that
                 Proserpina
                 in
                 remorse
                 of
                 her
                 impietie
                 ,
                 weaving
                 a
                 second
                 errour
                 in
                 her
                 first
                 offence
                 ,
                 and
                 
                 one
                 no
                 lesse
                 (
                 if
                 not
                 more
                 )
                 inexcusable
                 than
                 the
                 other
                 ;
                 returnes
                 their
                 child
                 againe
                 with
                 a
                 sumptuous
                 Armolet
                 about
                 the
                 Arme
                 of
                 it
                 ,
                 to
                 recompence
                 the
                 wrong
                 she
                 had
                 done
                 ,
                 with
                 advantage
                 .
                 VVhat
                 joy
                 the
                 Parents
                 conceived
                 at
                 the
                 restitution
                 of
                 their
                 child
                 ,
                 I
                 leave
                 it
                 to
                 you
                 to
                 imagine
                 :
                 Meane
                 time
                 ,
                 we
                 will
                 proceed
                 with
                 the
                 second
                 branch
                 of
                 our
                 discourse
                 ,
                 to
                 wit
                 ,
                 the
                 blessing
                 (
                 or
                 cursing
                 rather
                 )
                 which
                 Pluto
                 gave
                 this
                 Bastard
                 Plant
                 ,
                 foretelling
                 ,
                 with
                 what
                 admiration
                 it
                 would
                 be
                 received
                 on
                 earth
                 .
              
               
                 Novv
                 my
                 brave
                 Bastard
                 ,
                 I
                 will
                 send
                 you
                 up
                 wrapt
                 in
                 a
                 Paper
                 to
                 that
                 father
                 of
                 yours
                 ,
                 Bacchus
                 ,
                 and
                 may
                 my
                 blessing
                 follow
                 thee
                 .
                 Thou
                 art
                 now
                 to
                 travell
                 through
                 many
                 straits
                 :
                 first
                 through
                 the
                 noses
                 of
                 the
                 Burmudoes
                 ;
                 for
                 there
                 it
                 is
                 fit
                 thou
                 offer
                 thy selfe
                 first
                 ,
                 because
                 they
                 challenge
                 an
                 interest
                 in
                 thee
                 by
                 thy
                 birth
                 .
                 Thou
                 shalt
                 be
                 hissed
                 out
                 of
                 the
                 schoole
                 of
                 
                   Hypocrates
                   ,
                   Aesculapius
                
                 ,
                 and
                 Galen
                 .
                 Not
                 a
                 Quack-salver
                 Doctor
                 upon
                 the
                 Universe
                 ,
                 but
                 shall
                 reade
                 Lectures
                 on
                 thee
                 ,
                 as
                 if
                 it
                 were
                 upon
                 an
                 Anatomy
                 .
                 The
                 mercinary
                 Pedler
                 shall
                 counterfeat
                 
                 thee
                 :
                 and
                 drying
                 some
                 VValnut
                 leaves
                 ,
                 shall
                 forsweare
                 himselfe
                 for
                 thee
                 .
                 The
                 Frenchman
                 shall
                 love
                 thee
                 ,
                 for
                 thou
                 art
                 restorative
                 to
                 his
                 infirmities
                 ;
                 thou
                 shalt
                 be
                 as
                 familiar
                 with
                 the
                 tatterd
                 Indian
                 ;
                 as
                 Slapdragons
                 with
                 the
                 Flemming
                 ;
                 Potatoes
                 with
                 the
                 Italian
                 :
                 or
                 Flawnes
                 with
                 the
                 Bohemian
                 .
                 Thou
                 shalt
                 be
                 thy
                 fathers
                 Caterer
                 ,
                 provide
                 him
                 victuall
                 and
                 victualers
                 to
                 〈◊〉
                 his
                 victuall
                 .
                 Yet
                 my
                 comfort
                 is
                 ,
                 thou
                 shalt
                 not
                 be
                 onely
                 for
                 the
                 generous
                 Gallant
                 ,
                 but
                 as
                 well
                 also
                 for
                 Aminadab
                 the
                 Pedant
                 ,
                 and
                 Hob-nayle
                 the
                 Pesant
                 :
                 The
                 very
                 Tinker
                 (
                 with
                 his
                 fine
                 Brasse
                 )
                 shall
                 tinckle
                 on
                 thy
                 sides
                 ,
                 and
                 snuffe
                 thee
                 out
                 like
                 Neesing-powder
                 .
                 The
                 Pox
                 and
                 Piles
                 shall
                 reverence
                 thee
                 :
                 one
                 fire
                 strikes
                 out
                 another
                 ;
                 and
                 whole
                 families
                 shall
                 maintaine
                 their
                 Tatterdemallions
                 with
                 hanging
                 thee
                 out
                 in
                 a
                 string
                 .
                 But
                 of
                 all
                 Cities
                 ,
                 Iles
                 ,
                 Provinces
                 ,
                 Dominions
                 ,
                 or
                 Segniories
                 ,
                 none
                 shall
                 entertaine
                 thee
                 in
                 that
                 royalty
                 ,
                 or
                 with
                 that
                 generall
                 state
                 at
                 the
                 Albionacts
                 :
                 their
                 Long
                 Acres
                 ,
                 Uplands
                 and
                 Downe-lands
                 shall
                 flie
                 in
                 a
                 trice
                 to
                 retaine
                 thee
                 in
                 their
                 company
                 ;
                 Thou
                 
                 shalt
                 soake
                 them
                 to
                 the
                 bone
                 (
                 my
                 renowned
                 Bastard
                 )
                 and
                 make
                 them
                 skarre-Crowes
                 to
                 Nature
                 .
                 Yet
                 ,
                 it
                 cheeres
                 my
                 heart
                 ,
                 when
                 I
                 thinke
                 how
                 every
                 foole
                 must
                 have
                 his
                 Bable
                 ;
                 and
                 not
                 a
                 good
                 discourse
                 without
                 the
                 suggestion
                 of
                 thy
                 brave
                 ,
                 pregnant
                 and
                 fiery
                 spirit
                 .
                 Yet
                 ,
                 as
                 well
                 as
                 they
                 love
                 thee
                 ,
                 they
                 'l
                 spurt
                 thee
                 out
                 ,
                 and
                 make
                 thy
                 owne
                 Mansion
                 all
                 be
                 slubberd
                 with
                 thy
                 owne
                 Iuyce
                 ;
                 while
                 this
                 raiseth
                 Pluto
                 one
                 pin
                 higher
                 :
                 to
                 see
                 a
                 yong
                 Cavalero
                 spit
                 out
                 his
                 patrimony
                 in
                 Rhume
                 .
                 No
                 entertainment
                 without
                 thee
                 ;
                 nor
                 speech
                 worth
                 observing
                 ,
                 that
                 has
                 not
                 life
                 from
                 thee
                 .
                 Thou
                 makesh
                 the
                 pursued
                 Roarer
                 forget
                 the
                 Serjeant
                 is
                 at
                 doore
                 to
                 arrest
                 him
                 .
                 Thou
                 makest
                 him
                 valiant
                 :
                 not
                 a
                 Brasse
                 button
                 on
                 the
                 Universe
                 dare
                 attach
                 him
                 .
                 Who
                 dare
                 encounter
                 Phaeton
                 ,
                 that
                 is
                 nought
                 but
                 fire
                 and
                 smoake
                 !
                 Sending
                 out
                 the
                 Tapers
                 of
                 his
                 wrath
                 ,
                 the
                 fagots
                 of
                 his
                 indignation
                 ?
                 The
                 Cressets
                 of
                 his
                 spleene
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 furnaces
                 of
                 his
                 evaporated
                 Ire
                 at
                 the
                 Crevisses
                 of
                 his
                 Nose
                 ?
                 Why
                 ,
                 I
                 shall
                 be
                 made
                 to
                 blesse
                 thee
                 :
                 Thou
                 wilt
                 be
                 the
                 onely
                 enlarger
                 of
                 my
                 kingdome
                 ,
                 the
                 
                 enricher
                 of
                 my
                 state
                 ▪
                 and
                 the
                 stablisher
                 of
                 my
                 Empire
                 eternally
                 .
                 I
                 shall
                 thanke
                 my
                 wife
                 (
                 ere
                 long
                 )
                 for
                 my
                 Bastard
                 honours
                 .
                 Never
                 did
                 Al●…ydes
                 more
                 for
                 his
                 stepmother
                 Iuno
                 ;
                 than
                 thou
                 for
                 thy
                 stepfather
                 Pluto
                 .
                 I
                 see
                 Charons
                 boat
                 over-burdened
                 already
                 :
                 hoyse
                 up
                 sayles
                 Charon
                 ,
                 my
                 hony
                 Bastard
                 sends
                 thee
                 them
                 in
                 Swoupes
                 .
                 But
                 I
                 see
                 more
                 vertue
                 in
                 them
                 yet
                 ;
                 as
                 the
                 light
                 of
                 the
                 fire
                 darkens
                 the
                 light
                 of
                 the
                 candle
                 ,
                 so
                 shall
                 thy
                 smoake
                 (
                 the
                 pure
                 Elixir
                 of
                 a
                 Gallants
                 brain-pan
                 )
                 draw
                 to
                 thee
                 all
                 the
                 smoake
                 that
                 's
                 used
                 to
                 steme
                 out
                 of
                 great
                 mens
                 Kitchins
                 :
                 Their
                 habitations
                 shall
                 become
                 as
                 desolate
                 as
                 a
                 Wildernesse
                 ;
                 as
                 bare
                 as
                 trees
                 in
                 fall
                 o'
                 th'
                 leafe
                 ;
                 as
                 naked
                 as
                 a
                 Frenchmans
                 Scalpe
                 ;
                 and
                 as
                 destitute
                 of
                 hospitality
                 ,
                 as
                 a
                 Wappin
                 Broker
                 of
                 honesty
                 .
              
               
                 But
                 this
                 is
                 nothing
                 to
                 that
                 reverence
                 those
                 smoaking
                 Albyonacts
                 will
                 do
                 unto
                 thee
                 :
                 there
                 will
                 a
                 Scholler
                 make
                 a
                 set
                 speech
                 to
                 thee
                 ;
                 and
                 canvase
                 thee
                 in
                 a
                 Blanket
                 ,
                 with
                 predicamentall
                 words
                 ,
                 above
                 comparison
                 or
                 Gradation
                 .
                 VVith
                 ,
                 O
                 thou
                 Hyble
                 of
                 Intelligence
                 ;
                 thou
                 Ars●…nall
                 of
                 
                 eminence
                 ;
                 thou
                 Castalia
                 of
                 Ingenuity
                 ;
                 thou
                 Hermyone
                 of
                 Harmony
                 ;
                 thou
                 Systema
                 of
                 Logicke
                 ;
                 thou
                 Anadema
                 of
                 Rhetoticke
                 ;
                 thou
                 Anathema
                 of
                 choller
                 ;
                 thou
                 Astraea
                 of
                 Honour
                 .
                 Thus
                 will
                 the
                 word-joyning
                 Scholler
                 grace
                 thee
                 .
                 Then
                 the
                 Lawyer
                 with
                 his
                 Quillets
                 and
                 mentall
                 reservations
                 ,
                 Solecysims
                 ,
                 VVrits
                 ,
                 and
                 Demurres
                 without
                 Demurres
                 ,
                 will
                 thus
                 aboord
                 thee
                 .
              
               
                 O
                 ,
                 if
                 
                   Iohn
                   a
                   Styles
                
                 ,
                 or
                 
                   Iohn
                   an
                   Oakes
                
                 had
                 knowne
                 thee
                 in
                 their
                 dayes
                 ,
                 what
                 cases
                 couldst
                 thou
                 have
                 put
                 thē
                 ?
                 for
                 by
                 thee
                 (
                 and
                 none
                 but
                 thee
                 )
                 thou
                 Heantontymoreumenō
                 of
                 judicious
                 pleading
                 ,
                 we
                 gain'd
                 a
                 
                   Melius
                   inquirendum
                
                 ,
                 what
                 it
                 is
                 ,
                 or
                 what
                 it
                 meaneth
                 ?
                 as
                 for
                 example
                 ,
                 if
                 we
                 find
                 thee
                 not
                 in
                 thy
                 spirit
                 and
                 life
                 here
                 ,
                 we
                 seeke
                 thee
                 elsewhere
                 ,
                 and
                 so
                 by
                 a
                 
                   Melius
                   inquirendum
                
                 ,
                 we
                 possesse
                 thee
                 .
                 By
                 thee
                 (
                 and
                 none
                 but
                 thee
                 )
                 we
                 find
                 what
                 is
                 a
                 
                   Capias
                   ad
                   legatum
                
                 ;
                 for
                 being
                 taken
                 in
                 the
                 head
                 ,
                 we
                 are
                 forc't
                 to
                 lie
                 by
                 it
                 .
                 By
                 thee
                 we
                 find
                 what
                 an
                 Injunction
                 is
                 at
                 the
                 first
                 sight
                 ;
                 being
                 injoyned
                 to
                 avoyd
                 much
                 corrupt
                 matter
                 ,
                 wherewith
                 men
                 of
                 our
                 profession
                 be
                 extraordinarily
                 troubled
                 .
                 Wherefore
                 ,
                 if
                 thou
                 
                 have
                 any
                 action
                 of
                 Outlary
                 ,
                 against
                 any
                 Gallant
                 or
                 Gallants
                 ,
                 within
                 our
                 Precincts
                 ,
                 in
                 behalfe
                 of
                 Arrerages
                 due
                 to
                 thy
                 Master
                 in
                 thy
                 behalfe
                 ;
                 we
                 will
                 procure
                 thee
                 expedition
                 for
                 nothing
                 ,
                 (
                 and
                 reason
                 )
                 for
                 thou
                 art
                 incorporated
                 in
                 us
                 .
                 Thus
                 will
                 the
                 spruce
                 Areopagite
                 discourse
                 to
                 thee
                 :
                 where
                 presently
                 a
                 Waterman
                 ,
                 a
                 Tankard
                 carrier
                 ,
                 or
                 such
                 necessary
                 Hogs
                 ▪
                 snout
                 in
                 the
                 City
                 will
                 thus
                 accoast
                 thee
                 .
                 O
                 smoake
                 ,
                 no
                 smoake
                 but
                 vapour
                 ,
                 and
                 no
                 vapour
                 but
                 smoake●…
                 thou
                 makest
                 my
                 Tankard
                 as
                 light
                 as
                 a
                 Pipkin
                 ;
                 thou
                 makest
                 us
                 never
                 thinke
                 of
                 our
                 poverty
                 ,
                 drawne
                 in
                 Sluces
                 from
                 Ware
                 ,
                 and
                 in
                 Pipes
                 to
                 London
                 .
                 Nay
                 ,
                 nose
                 it
                 (
                 neighbour
                 Timothy
                 )
                 nose
                 it
                 ;
                 O
                 Herbe
                 of
                 Grace
                 !
                 surely
                 he
                 that
                 founded
                 thee
                 was
                 some
                 Traitor
                 ,
                 for
                 thou
                 hast
                 betrayed
                 me
                 of
                 my
                 wits
                 already
                 .
                 Come
                 ,
                 another
                 Pipe
                 ,
                 good
                 Master
                 Flie-smoake
                 !
                 why
                 may
                 not
                 we
                 send
                 out
                 a
                 Tankard
                 of
                 water
                 at
                 our
                 nose
                 ,
                 as
                 well
                 as
                 Master
                 Had-land
                 blowes
                 out
                 his
                 Acres
                 ?
                 We
                 will
                 honour
                 thee
                 still
                 (
                 my
                 brave
                 Trinidadicall
                 spirit
                 )
                 and
                 we
                 will
                 take
                 it
                 i'
                 th'
                 snuffe
                 whosoever
                 wrongs
                 thee
                 .
              
               
                 THUS
                 (
                 my
                 Noble
                 and
                 Heroycall
                 
                 Bastard
                 )
                 shall
                 all
                 Professions
                 honour
                 thee
                 ;
                 all
                 degrees
                 reverence
                 thee
                 ;
                 and
                 the
                 chiefe
                 Metropolitan
                 Cities
                 shall
                 maintaine
                 their
                 greatest
                 Trafficke
                 and
                 Commerce
                 by
                 thee
                 .
                 Happy
                 shall
                 bee
                 that
                 man
                 ,
                 who
                 can
                 engrosse
                 a
                 portion
                 of
                 thy
                 quickest
                 spirit
                 to
                 himselfe
                 !
                 It
                 shall
                 stand
                 instead
                 of
                 his
                 Orisons
                 in
                 the
                 morning
                 ;
                 and
                 early
                 will
                 hee
                 sacrifice
                 the
                 snuffe
                 of
                 his
                 Candle
                 to
                 thy
                 Incense
                 ;
                 not
                 a
                 complete
                 Callant
                 ,
                 that
                 hath
                 not
                 his
                 V●…ensiles
                 to
                 conduct
                 thee
                 to
                 his
                 nose
                 :
                 for
                 thou
                 ministers
                 him
                 a
                 portion
                 of
                 joy
                 ,
                 and
                 tells
                 him
                 of
                 building
                 another
                 Castle
                 or
                 Colosse
                 in
                 the
                 aire
                 .
              
               
                 Thus
                 thou
                 playest
                 Minister
                 to
                 Pluto
                 ,
                 and
                 estates
                 me
                 in
                 an
                 ample
                 Government
                 ;
                 thy
                 smoake
                 shall
                 be
                 the
                 conveyance
                 to
                 hale
                 those
                 snuffing
                 Prodigalls
                 to
                 my
                 smoaking
                 Dominions
                 ;
                 for
                 thou
                 art
                 but
                 a
                 preparative
                 to
                 the
                 solemnizing
                 of
                 thy
                 father
                 Bacchus
                 his
                 Festivals
                 .
                 Thou
                 ,
                 to
                 open
                 the
                 passages
                 to
                 receive
                 liquor
                 :
                 He
                 ,
                 to
                 poure
                 in
                 his
                 unfathomed
                 Bucket
                 ,
                 and
                 to
                 rinse
                 their
                 Liver
                 :
                 Thou
                 ,
                 like
                 another
                 Synon
                 ,
                 burnes
                 Troy
                 ;
                 sacks
                 the
                 Citie
                 ;
                 rases
                 downe
                 the
                 walls
                 ;
                 and
                 with
                 thy
                 
                 per●…idious
                 incursion
                 ,
                 subjects
                 all
                 the
                 inward
                 parts
                 of
                 the
                 Citie
                 to
                 desolation
                 :
                 He
                 ,
                 when
                 all
                 things
                 are
                 done
                 (
                 like
                 a
                 seeming
                 friend
                 )
                 protests
                 affection
                 ,
                 and
                 with
                 ceremoniall
                 Ambages
                 insinuates
                 into
                 that
                 poore
                 Fort
                 which
                 remaines
                 :
                 where
                 like
                 Sile●…i
                 of
                 the
                 last
                 Edition
                 ,
                 they
                 entertaine
                 him
                 ,
                 receive
                 so
                 much
                 of
                 his
                 Complement
                 ,
                 till
                 they
                 become
                 complete
                 and
                 replete
                 Gallants
                 :
                 then
                 ,
                 
                   -
                   suror
                   Arma
                   ministrat
                   .
                   Bacchus
                
                 sets
                 them
                 byth'eares
                 ,
                 Buffet
                 stooles
                 walke
                 ,
                 Pottles
                 (
                 like
                 pellets
                 )
                 expresse
                 their
                 meaning
                 by
                 their
                 clattering
                 .
                 Here
                 (
                 my
                 worthy
                 step-child
                 )
                 the
                 comfort
                 of
                 my
                 wronged
                 bed
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 onely
                 hope
                 to
                 eternize
                 my
                 soveraignty
                 ,
                 beginnes
                 my
                 Joy
                 !
                 for
                 Discord
                 and
                 Dissention
                 yeelds
                 to
                 me
                 a
                 perpetuall
                 Union
                 and
                 Harmony
                 .
                 Thou
                 art
                 that
                 Brand
                 of
                 Paris
                 ,
                 shalt
                 make
                 earth
                 flame
                 for
                 't
                 ;
                 that
                 Olympia
                 serpent
                 (
                 that
                 snake
                 of
                 Adraste
                 )
                 shalt
                 winde
                 thy selfe
                 in
                 the
                 minds
                 of
                 men
                 ,
                 and
                 draw
                 a
                 greater
                 fleet
                 to
                 thy
                 Voyage
                 of
                 Tenarus
                 ,
                 then
                 ever
                 were
                 of
                 Argonauts
                 to
                 Colchos
                 .
                 If
                 those
                 three
                 Sisters
                 ,
                 
                   O●…to
                   ,
                   Ocypete
                
                 ,
                 and
                 Celano
                 ;
                 those
                 Arch-Pyrats
                 ,
                 Harpies
                 of
                 the
                 
                 Atlanticke
                 ,
                 brought
                 such
                 rich
                 booties
                 to
                 their
                 mother
                 Cleona
                 ,
                 what
                 will
                 my
                 transformed
                 Bastard
                 doe
                 for
                 me
                 ,
                 that
                 hath
                 the
                 whole
                 world
                 to
                 rome
                 in
                 ?
                 Thou
                 wilt
                 make
                 Bacchus
                 call
                 thee
                 his
                 
                   white
                   boy
                
                 ;
                 and
                 I
                 will
                 crowne
                 thee
                 with
                 a
                 Diadem
                 of
                 burnisht
                 gold
                 ;
                 with
                 a
                 plume
                 of
                 Estrich
                 feathers
                 :
                 and
                 thou
                 at
                 thy
                 returne
                 ,
                 like
                 another
                 
                   Aquila
                   ,
                   Affricane
                
                 ,
                 or
                 Pompey
                 ,
                 shalt
                 triumph
                 in
                 the
                 streets
                 of
                 Hell
                 ;
                 we
                 are
                 as
                 many
                 Trophies
                 ,
                 as
                 thou
                 hast
                 enricht
                 the
                 Treasurie
                 of
                 Hell
                 with
                 soules
                 .
                 Heere
                 shalt
                 thou
                 lead
                 the
                 Prodigall
                 in
                 chains
                 ,
                 and
                 with
                 a
                 shadow
                 of
                 smoake
                 ,
                 draw
                 him
                 to
                 follow
                 thee
                 ,
                 
                   aut
                   sequetur
                   ,
                   aut
                   trahetur
                
                 .
                 Here
                 ,
                 my
                 brave
                 Spend-times
                 ,
                 shall
                 desire
                 thy
                 company
                 ;
                 but
                 thou
                 like
                 a
                 triumphant
                 Hannibal
                 ,
                 shalt
                 contemne
                 them
                 ,
                 leading
                 the
                 Slaves
                 in
                 bonds
                 ;
                 and
                 like
                 another
                 Tamerlane
                 ,
                 make
                 Earths
                 Soveraignes
                 follow
                 thy
                 Charriot
                 wheeles
                 ,
                 crouching
                 like
                 pedestals
                 at
                 the
                 foot
                 of
                 thy
                 Majesty
                 .
                 Hear
                 my
                 Cautions
                 therefore
                 ;
                 and
                 in
                 observing
                 them
                 ,
                 thou
                 shalt
                 purchase
                 thee
                 a
                 wreath
                 of
                 eternall
                 honour
                 :
                 Not
                 a
                 Fiend
                 but
                 shall
                 bend
                 to
                 thee
                 ;
                 and
                 thou
                 in
                 the
                 Majestie
                 of
                 thy
                 state
                 shalt
                 contemne
                 
                 the
                 greatest
                 ,
                 being
                 made
                 miserable
                 by
                 thine
                 inchantments
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Especiall
                 advertisements
                 given
                 by
                 Pluto
                 to
                 Tobacco
                 .
              
               
                 FIRST
                 caution
                 I
                 propound
                 ,
                 is
                 ,
                 that
                 in
                 everie
                 place
                 where
                 thou
                 commest
                 ,
                 thou
                 take
                 the
                 best
                 Booth
                 in
                 the
                 Faire
                 .
                 Plant
                 thy selfe
                 in
                 the
                 eye
                 of
                 the
                 Citie
                 :
                 set
                 mee
                 the
                 picture
                 of
                 some
                 sallow-faced
                 Blackamoore
                 ,
                 or
                 a
                 Virginia-man
                 ,
                 for
                 that
                 will
                 rather
                 draw
                 custome
                 upon
                 the
                 Frontespice
                 of
                 thy
                 doore
                 :
                 A
                 Zeuxes
                 or
                 Apelles
                 would
                 doe
                 well
                 in
                 these
                 cases
                 ,
                 to
                 enforce
                 passengers
                 by
                 the
                 picture
                 ,
                 to
                 draw
                 neere
                 the
                 substance
                 :
                 make
                 a
                 partition
                 in
                 thy
                 shop
                 ;
                 it
                 may
                 bee
                 the
                 hot
                 Venetian
                 comes
                 to
                 bathe
                 with
                 thee
                 ,
                 rather
                 than
                 to
                 drinke
                 Tobacco
                 with
                 thee
                 .
                 Draw
                 the
                 curtaine
                 close
                 (
                 sinne
                 would
                 have
                 no
                 eyes
                 poring
                 upon
                 her
                 )
                 and
                 when
                 thou
                 seest
                 a
                 young
                 raw
                 Novice
                 ,
                 that
                 never
                 was
                 
                 yet
                 matriculated
                 in
                 the
                 schoole
                 of
                 vanitie
                 ,
                 make
                 a
                 speech
                 to
                 him
                 in
                 commendation
                 of
                 thy
                 vertue
                 ,
                 power
                 ,
                 and
                 operation
                 ;
                 if
                 hee
                 listen
                 thee
                 with
                 a
                 greedy
                 eare
                 ,
                 continue
                 thy
                 discourse
                 with
                 arguments
                 ,
                 and
                 how
                 insufficient
                 soever
                 ,
                 no
                 matter
                 ,
                 the
                 Gudgeon
                 will
                 be
                 taken
                 ,
                 and
                 having
                 him
                 once
                 in
                 ,
                 presume
                 on
                 his
                 custome
                 .
                 Now
                 and
                 then
                 to
                 discourse
                 of
                 novelties
                 ,
                 and
                 unheard-of
                 rarities
                 ,
                 will
                 not
                 a
                 little
                 encrease
                 custome
                 :
                 for
                 the
                 phantasticknesse
                 of
                 the
                 age
                 admires
                 nothing
                 so
                 much
                 as
                 fabulous
                 relations
                 .
                 Tell
                 of
                 thy
                 strange
                 birth
                 ,
                 but
                 neither
                 of
                 mee
                 nor
                 of
                 the
                 place
                 of
                 thy
                 birth
                 :
                 though
                 men
                 come
                 so
                 frequently
                 to
                 me
                 ,
                 yet
                 they
                 love
                 not
                 to
                 heare
                 of
                 me
                 :
                 I
                 would
                 have
                 thee
                 in
                 any
                 case
                 lay
                 traines
                 for
                 the
                 better
                 sort
                 ,
                 for
                 the
                 worser
                 sort
                 love
                 to
                 imitate
                 the
                 better
                 :
                 And
                 then
                 in
                 thy
                 profession
                 thou
                 maiest
                 apologize
                 thine
                 errours
                 (
                 as
                 thou
                 canst
                 hardly
                 bee
                 without
                 them
                 )
                 if
                 thou
                 meane
                 to
                 live
                 rich
                 ,
                 or
                 not
                 to
                 die
                 a
                 Beggar
                 .
              
               
                 THERE
                 bee
                 three
                 persons
                 I
                 would
                 have
                 thee
                 use
                 with
                 all
                 observances
                 ,
                 the
                 Scholler
                 ,
                 the
                 Lawyer
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 Poet
                 ;
                 I
                 distinguish
                 them
                 ,
                 for
                 seldome
                 makes
                 
                 Poet
                 Lawyer
                 ,
                 seldome
                 becomes
                 Lawyer
                 Scholler
                 ,
                 seldome
                 exquisite
                 Scholler
                 either
                 Poet
                 or
                 Lawyer
                 .
                 The
                 Scholler
                 to
                 confirme
                 thy
                 profession
                 by
                 reason
                 ,
                 the
                 Lawyer
                 by
                 equivocation
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 Poet
                 by
                 invention
                 :
                 One
                 to
                 discusse
                 ,
                 another
                 to
                 discourse
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 third
                 to
                 fable
                 These
                 ,
                 as
                 by
                 time
                 observing
                 ,
                 they
                 may
                 bee
                 eternally
                 won
                 ;
                 so
                 by
                 scurvie
                 usage
                 they
                 may
                 bee
                 eternally
                 lost
                 .
                 The
                 Scholler
                 will
                 bee
                 thine
                 ,
                 if
                 thou
                 talke
                 in
                 his
                 element
                 ;
                 sooth
                 him
                 in
                 his
                 arguments
                 ;
                 and
                 call
                 him
                 most
                 profound
                 ,
                 dogmaticall
                 ,
                 and
                 literate
                 Trismegistus
                 :
                 let
                 not
                 one
                 reason
                 (
                 though
                 it
                 be
                 never
                 so
                 wide
                 of
                 sense
                 )
                 passe
                 from
                 him
                 without
                 thine
                 approbation
                 ;
                 and
                 when
                 thou
                 art
                 wearie
                 in
                 praising
                 his
                 imperfections
                 ,
                 fall
                 to
                 admiration
                 ;
                 but
                 let
                 it
                 be
                 ,
                 —
                 
                   Ut
                   pueri
                   Iunonis
                   Ave●…
                
                 .
                 If
                 thou
                 canst
                 know
                 what
                 Universitie
                 he
                 is
                 of
                 ,
                 advance
                 it
                 with
                 new-coyned
                 and
                 strangely-minted
                 Hyperboles
                 :
                 Discourse
                 a
                 whole
                 houre
                 of
                 the
                 antiquities
                 of
                 the
                 place
                 ;
                 not
                 Mount
                 Pernassus
                 it selfe
                 more
                 ancient
                 .
                 Then
                 dispatiate
                 into
                 the
                 pleasantnesse
                 of
                 the
                 seat
                 ;
                 the
                 fruitfulnesse
                 of
                 the
                 place
                 ;
                 and
                 withall
                 ,
                 
                 of
                 the
                 greatnesse
                 of
                 their
                 Commons
                 ;
                 for
                 that
                 they
                 like
                 to
                 heare
                 of
                 ,
                 though
                 they
                 seldome
                 see
                 it
                 .
                 These
                 discourses
                 will
                 make
                 the
                 Scholler
                 thine
                 owne
                 ;
                 he
                 is
                 thine
                 individuate
                 and
                 incorporate
                 friend
                 ;
                 the
                 Ivie
                 claspeth
                 not
                 neerer
                 the
                 Vine
                 ,
                 nor
                 the
                 Missell-tow
                 the
                 Oake
                 ,
                 than
                 he
                 will
                 knit
                 to
                 thee
                 .
              
               
                 THE
                 Lawyer
                 will
                 be
                 thine
                 ,
                 if
                 thou
                 compare
                 these
                 present
                 times
                 with
                 those
                 flourishing
                 and
                 impartiall
                 dayes
                 of
                 
                   Hortensius
                   ,
                   Marcus
                   Appius
                   ,
                   Cornelius
                   Graccus
                   :
                
                 swearing
                 too
                 (
                 for
                 thou
                 must
                 make
                 no
                 bones
                 of
                 oathes
                 )
                 that
                 for
                 pure
                 eloquence
                 ,
                 excellent
                 conveyance
                 ,
                 absolutenesse
                 of
                 method
                 ,
                 and
                 other
                 proprieties
                 ,
                 Rome
                 in
                 her
                 glorie
                 (
                 even
                 in
                 the
                 maturitie
                 of
                 her
                 time
                 )
                 never
                 attained
                 so
                 absolute
                 and
                 exact
                 a
                 course
                 in
                 pleading
                 .
                 Then
                 in
                 defence
                 of
                 corruption
                 ,
                 (
                 because
                 everie
                 man
                 must
                 live
                 by
                 his
                 trade
                 )
                 talke
                 of
                 brave
                 Senatours
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 bravest
                 Councellours
                 ,
                 would
                 now
                 and
                 then
                 be
                 anoynted
                 .
                 and
                 for
                 unction
                 dispense
                 with
                 conscience
                 ;
                 and
                 tell
                 him
                 withall
                 ,
                 examples
                 of
                 authoritie
                 to
                 confirme
                 it
                 .
                 This
                 discourse
                 will
                 so
                 ensnare
                 my
                 young
                 Mowter
                 ,
                 as
                 no
                 question
                 (
                 if
                 hee
                 distaste
                 
                 smoake
                 )
                 hee
                 will
                 frequent
                 thee
                 for
                 thy
                 many
                 good
                 parts
                 :
                 An
                 oyly
                 tongue
                 (
                 my
                 nimble
                 Bastard
                 )
                 is
                 worth
                 a
                 kingdome
                 .
              
               
                 FOR
                 the
                 Poet
                 ,
                 I
                 cannot
                 tell
                 what
                 to
                 say
                 to
                 it
                 ,
                 he
                 is
                 so
                 oft
                 out
                 of
                 his
                 wits
                 ,
                 as
                 he
                 verily
                 imagines
                 himselfe
                 the
                 man
                 in
                 the
                 Moone
                 :
                 There
                 's
                 quick-silver
                 in
                 his
                 braine
                 ;
                 and
                 if
                 he
                 were
                 not
                 now
                 and
                 then
                 encountred
                 by
                 Sergeants
                 ,
                 and
                 kept
                 under
                 locke
                 and
                 key
                 ,
                 hee
                 would
                 verily
                 turne
                 Bedlame
                 .
                 Yet
                 because
                 phrensie
                 must
                 bee
                 purged
                 ,
                 and
                 thou
                 (
                 my
                 Wag-halter
                 )
                 hast
                 vertue
                 and
                 operation
                 to
                 love
                 such
                 ,
                 becken
                 to
                 the
                 thred-bare
                 contemned
                 Urchin
                 ,
                 give
                 him
                 a
                 pipe
                 on
                 my
                 score
                 ,
                 hee
                 'll
                 pay
                 it
                 at
                 the
                 next
                 new
                 play
                 he
                 makes
                 ,
                 if
                 the
                 Doore-keepers
                 will
                 bee
                 true
                 to
                 him
                 :
                 and
                 if
                 not
                 ,
                 hee
                 'll
                 make
                 thee
                 up
                 some
                 scurvie
                 end
                 of
                 a
                 Ballad
                 ,
                 deserves
                 a
                 pipe
                 of
                 smoake
                 .
                 But
                 before
                 thou
                 humour
                 him
                 ,
                 I
                 would
                 have
                 thee
                 finde
                 him
                 ,
                 and
                 I
                 protest
                 to
                 thee
                 I
                 cannot
                 direct
                 thee
                 to
                 him
                 :
                 many
                 have
                 this
                 name
                 ,
                 but
                 as
                 farre
                 different
                 from
                 the
                 perfect
                 straine
                 of
                 a
                 Poet
                 ,
                 as
                 the
                 glistering
                 of
                 the
                 Gloworme
                 from
                 the
                 light
                 and
                 splendour
                 of
                 the
                 Sunne
                 .
                 Some
                 come
                 from
                 the
                 camp
                 to
                 the
                 stage
                 ,
                 from
                 the
                 pike
                 to
                 the
                 
                 pen
                 ;
                 and
                 few
                 Souldiers
                 will
                 prove
                 good
                 Poets
                 .
                 For
                 the
                 nature
                 of
                 these
                 men
                 (
                 I
                 my selfe
                 have
                 had
                 an
                 itching
                 inclination
                 to
                 this
                 poeticall
                 phrensie
                 )
                 had
                 rather
                 fight
                 with
                 Bacchus
                 than
                 Mars
                 ;
                 and
                 had
                 rather
                 cope
                 with
                 a
                 barrell
                 ,
                 than
                 oppose
                 themselves
                 to
                 a
                 quarrell
                 .
                 Others
                 ,
                 from
                 an
                 Indenture
                 to
                 a
                 Theatre
                 ;
                 the
                 Scribe
                 turnes
                 Pharisic
                 ;
                 and
                 
                   Asinus
                   ad
                   Lyram
                
                 ,
                 expresseth
                 his
                 owne
                 shame
                 by
                 his
                 Scriveners
                 fragments
                 .
                 Others
                 ,
                 from
                 mowting
                 to
                 comicke
                 writing
                 :
                 a
                 brave
                 honour
                 to
                 descend
                 to
                 Poet
                 from
                 Lawyer
                 .
                 But
                 amongst
                 these
                 (
                 my
                 brave
                 Spurio
                 )
                 thou
                 shalt
                 finde
                 many
                 generous
                 wits
                 possest
                 with
                 this
                 phrensie
                 ,
                 call
                 them
                 to
                 thee
                 ,
                 smoake
                 their
                 wits
                 ,
                 it
                 may
                 bee
                 they
                 are
                 mustie
                 ,
                 and
                 desire
                 soaking
                 :
                 These
                 poore
                 Gnats
                 deserve
                 thine
                 acquaintance
                 ,
                 even
                 the
                 lowest
                 favorite
                 in
                 Parnassus
                 Armourie
                 ,
                 
                   Qui
                   nescit
                   versus
                   ,
                   tamen
                   audet
                   fingere
                   .
                
                 Take
                 him
                 to
                 thee
                 ,
                 hee
                 shall
                 ,
                 for
                 his
                 love
                 to
                 Ribauldrie
                 ,
                 drinke
                 a
                 pipe
                 on
                 my
                 score
                 :
                 What
                 ,
                 shall
                 vanitie
                 want
                 smoake
                 ?
                 No
                 ,
                 (
                 my
                 thrice-renowned
                 Hermaphrodite
                 )
                 smoake
                 thou
                 them
                 here
                 on
                 Earth
                 ,
                 and
                 I
                 will
                 smoake
                 them
                 in
                 Hell
                 with
                 pipes
                 
                 of
                 Sulphur
                 .
                 But
                 I
                 pray
                 thee
                 retaine
                 these
                 last
                 of
                 all
                 others
                 ;
                 they
                 will
                 draw
                 company
                 to
                 thee
                 ;
                 they
                 are
                 made
                 the
                 verie
                 Morio's
                 of
                 our
                 time
                 :
                 and
                 what
                 good
                 wit
                 but
                 either
                 can
                 draw
                 thee
                 into
                 acquaintance
                 with
                 great
                 ones
                 ;
                 or
                 is
                 so
                 endeared
                 to
                 the
                 other
                 sex
                 ;
                 as
                 by
                 their
                 meanes
                 ,
                 thou
                 shalt
                 have
                 creatures
                 of
                 both
                 kindes
                 (
                 and
                 that
                 will
                 make
                 thee
                 for
                 ever
                 )
                 resort
                 to
                 thy
                 shop
                 continually
                 !
                 Humor
                 me
                 these
                 Poets
                 ;
                 extoll
                 their
                 devices
                 ,
                 though
                 thou
                 never
                 heard
                 of
                 any
                 of
                 them
                 ;
                 they
                 love
                 to
                 be
                 tickled
                 :
                 Flatterie
                 they
                 cannot
                 judge
                 of
                 ;
                 for
                 they
                 verily
                 imagine
                 their
                 deserts
                 out-strip
                 all
                 commendations
                 .
                 But
                 now
                 (
                 my
                 Rogue
                 in
                 graine
                 )
                 if
                 thou
                 couldst
                 set
                 up
                 a
                 private
                 Refectorie
                 ,
                 for
                 the
                 young
                 effeminate
                 sort
                 (
                 for
                 they
                 would
                 like
                 Adamants
                 draw
                 continuall
                 recourse
                 )
                 I
                 would
                 hug
                 thee
                 eternally
                 .
                 Sell
                 mee
                 Potato-roots
                 ,
                 Eringoes
                 ,
                 all
                 Electuaries
                 ,
                 Confections
                 ,
                 Receipts
                 ,
                 Conceipts
                 ,
                 Deceipts
                 ,
                 Pomatum
                 ,
                 Cerusse
                 ,
                 with
                 a
                 large
                 recitall
                 of
                 thy
                 brave
                 commodities
                 ;
                 and
                 a
                 little
                 smooth-faced
                 Ganymede
                 standing
                 at
                 the
                 doore
                 ,
                 who
                 ▪
                 like
                 another
                 Parret
                 or
                 Mag-pie
                 ,
                 may
                 crie
                 ever
                 in
                 one
                 tune
                 :
                 
                 
                   What
                   doe
                   you
                   lacke
                   ?
                   Pomatum
                   of
                   the
                   best
                   ,
                   Cerusse
                   ;
                   what
                   doe
                   you
                   lacke
                   ?
                
                 If
                 thou
                 be
                 so
                 blest
                 ,
                 as
                 to
                 get
                 these
                 Syrenfaced
                 things
                 into
                 thy
                 confines
                 ,
                 I
                 shall
                 be
                 happie
                 in
                 thee
                 .
                 The
                 best
                 meanes
                 to
                 ensnare
                 them
                 ,
                 is
                 to
                 commend
                 them
                 ;
                 and
                 in
                 comparison
                 of
                 sexes
                 ,
                 to
                 prefer
                 theirs
                 in
                 many
                 degrees
                 before
                 the
                 grosse
                 and
                 distempered
                 constitution
                 of
                 man
                 ;
                 fumming
                 up
                 some
                 especiall
                 records
                 of
                 their
                 sexes
                 worth
                 .
                 "
                 Blessed
                 creatures
                 ,
                 Soveraignesses
                 of
                 earths
                 happinesses
                 (
                 thus
                 mayst
                 thou
                 binde
                 them
                 to
                 thee
                 ;
                 )
                 when
                 Nature
                 framed
                 the
                 best
                 of
                 her
                 Art
                 ,
                 shee
                 examplified
                 it
                 in
                 you
                 ,
                 making
                 you
                 the
                 founders
                 of
                 Cities
                 and
                 flourishing
                 Countries
                 ,
                 Provinces
                 and
                 Ilands
                 .
                 Asia
                 first
                 founded
                 by
                 a
                 woman
                 of
                 that
                 name
                 .
                 Europe
                 by
                 Europa
                 ,
                 daughter
                 〈◊〉
                 Aegenor
                 King
                 of
                 Phanicia
                 :
                 and
                 Scythia
                 of
                 a
                 woman
                 that
                 sprung
                 out
                 of
                 the
                 earth
                 ,
                 who
                 named
                 her
                 sonne
                 Scytha
                 .
                 To
                 describe
                 the
                 rare
                 sit●…s
                 and
                 foundations
                 of
                 Iles
                 (
                 matchlesse
                 creatures
                 )
                 
                   Rhodes
                   ,
                   Corcyra
                   ,
                   Salamyna
                
                 and
                 Ae●…
                 were
                 all
                 founded
                 by
                 women
                 .
                 Shall
                 I
                 ascend
                 higher
                 ,
                 and
                 register
                 your
                 excellence
                 in
                 the
                 Planets
                 ,
                 and
                 those
                 
                 celestiall
                 bodies
                 ,
                 which
                 give
                 humane
                 bodies
                 light
                 ?
                 There
                 bee
                 a
                 thousand
                 and
                 twentie
                 stars
                 names
                 knowne
                 ,
                 all
                 which
                 have
                 their
                 Constellations
                 of
                 women
                 .
                 Shall
                 I
                 then
                 expresse
                 your
                 incomparable
                 natures
                 ,
                 by
                 essentiall
                 goodnesse
                 ?
                 why
                 !
                 Vertue
                 her selfe
                 makes
                 your
                 sex
                 inimitable
                 .
              
               
                 Justice
                 with
                 a
                 sword
                 in
                 her
                 hand
                 portrayed
                 like
                 a
                 woman
                 ;
                 Prudence
                 with
                 a
                 glasse
                 ;
                 Temperance
                 with
                 a
                 diall
                 ;
                 Fortitude
                 with
                 an
                 huge
                 Colossus
                 on
                 her
                 shoulder
                 ,
                 that
                 Hercules
                 could
                 not
                 remove
                 :
                 all
                 these
                 in
                 Imbroderies
                 ,
                 as
                 Tapistrie
                 ,
                 Cloth
                 of
                 Arras
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 like
                 ,
                 beare
                 the
                 formes
                 of
                 women
                 .
              
               
                 Thus
                 commend
                 them
                 ,
                 and
                 they
                 will
                 sooner
                 buy
                 Eringoes
                 of
                 the
                 worst
                 (
                 so
                 they
                 may
                 have
                 them
                 by
                 retaile
                 at
                 thy
                 shop
                 )
                 than
                 at
                 others
                 of
                 the
                 best
                 ,
                 that
                 ▪
                 cannot
                 with
                 a
                 glibberie
                 tongue
                 deifie
                 them
                 .
                 But
                 I
                 hold
                 thee
                 all
                 too
                 long
                 :
                 last
                 Caution
                 I
                 should
                 give
                 thee
                 ,
                 have
                 I
                 reserved
                 for
                 the
                 last
                 ,
                 that
                 it
                 may
                 take
                 deepest
                 and
                 firmest
                 root
                 in
                 thy
                 memorie
                 :
                 on
                 my
                 blessing
                 I
                 warne
                 thee
                 to
                 contemne
                 honestie
                 ,
                 as
                 a
                 poore
                 whore
                 that
                 is
                 neither
                 for
                 
                 Court
                 ,
                 Countrey
                 ,
                 nor
                 Citie
                 .
                 Spurne
                 at
                 her
                 when
                 shee
                 offers
                 to
                 be
                 acquainted
                 with
                 thee
                 ;
                 it
                 is
                 not
                 fit
                 that
                 Pluto's
                 Bastard
                 should
                 respect
                 Honestie
                 .
                 Get
                 and
                 care
                 not
                 how
                 ;
                 forsweare
                 thy selfe
                 and
                 thinke
                 not
                 when
                 ;
                 cheat
                 ,
                 respect
                 not
                 where
                 .
                 Honestie
                 could
                 never
                 thrive
                 in
                 the
                 world
                 ;
                 as
                 she
                 is
                 a
                 beggar
                 discard
                 her
                 ;
                 as
                 shee
                 is
                 simple
                 scorne
                 her
                 ;
                 and
                 as
                 she
                 is
                 base
                 loath
                 her
                 .
                 When
                 shalt
                 thou
                 see
                 Honestie
                 ▪
                 approach
                 a
                 great
                 mans
                 palace
                 ,
                 enter
                 a
                 Tradesmans
                 shop
                 ,
                 or
                 get
                 bed-roome
                 in
                 an
                 Inne
                 ?
                 but
                 Knaverie
                 is
                 ever
                 reaping
                 a
                 commoditie
                 :
                 There
                 is
                 not
                 a
                 Comrade
                 in
                 all
                 the
                 Citie
                 ,
                 but
                 she
                 can
                 make
                 use
                 on
                 ;
                 that
                 wind
                 blowes
                 ill
                 ,
                 where
                 she
                 gaines
                 not
                 something
                 .
                 To
                 bee
                 short
                 ,
                 ere
                 thou
                 ever
                 set
                 up
                 shop
                 ,
                 or
                 hang
                 out
                 thy
                 Blackamoore
                 ,
                 disclaime
                 honestie
                 ;
                 entertaine
                 perjurie
                 ;
                 and
                 the
                 first
                 part
                 of
                 knaverie
                 may
                 begin
                 with
                 a
                 paire
                 of
                 uneven
                 scales
                 .
                 Thus
                 if
                 thou
                 proceed
                 in
                 thy
                 trade
                 ,
                 I
                 shall
                 thinke
                 my
                 Cautions
                 well
                 ▪
                 bestowed
                 ;
                 if
                 not
                 ,
                 to
                 aggravate
                 thy
                 punishment
                 ,
                 I
                 will
                 eternally
                 banish
                 thy
                 strumpet-mother
                 from
                 mee
                 ;
                 and
                 make
                 those
                 verie
                 Gallants
                 which
                 frequent
                 thy
                 shop
                 ,
                 kicke
                 thee
                 into
                 the
                 
                 kennell
                 for
                 thy
                 honest
                 simplicitie
                 .
                 More
                 should
                 I
                 say
                 unto
                 thee
                 ,
                 but
                 that
                 Hell
                 growes
                 turbulent
                 for
                 want
                 of
                 government
                 .
                 Though
                 I
                 doe
                 not
                 leave
                 thee
                 as
                 I
                 found
                 thee
                 ,
                 in
                 that
                 thy
                 shape
                 is
                 altered
                 ▪
                 yet
                 I
                 leave
                 thee
                 in
                 some
                 respect
                 better
                 instructed
                 :
                 This
                 is
                 my
                 last
                 blessing
                 ;
                 Fly
                 into
                 the
                 world
                 ,
                 and
                 may
                 knaverie
                 guide
                 thee
                 ,
                 false
                 weights
                 enjoy
                 thee
                 ,
                 and
                 many
                 phantasticke
                 Asses
                 be
                 seduced
                 by
                 thee
                 .
              
               
                 HAVING
                 shipp'd
                 this
                 plant
                 in
                 Charons
                 vessell
                 ,
                 and
                 sent
                 it
                 into
                 the
                 world
                 ,
                 what
                 commerce
                 it
                 had
                 in
                 time
                 ,
                 and
                 what
                 people
                 of
                 all
                 conditions
                 frequented
                 it
                 ,
                 shall
                 appeare
                 by
                 this
                 pitifull
                 complaint
                 made
                 by
                 Time
                 ;
                 whom
                 you
                 may
                 imagine
                 came
                 forth
                 of
                 an
                 old
                 decayed
                 and
                 ruinous
                 castle
                 ,
                 bald-headed
                 ,
                 with
                 a
                 sythe
                 in
                 his
                 hand
                 ,
                 and
                 blubbered
                 face
                 ,
                 standing
                 in
                 the
                 publique
                 street
                 of
                 Troynovan●…
                 ,
                 (
                 for
                 there
                 this
                 Plant
                 tooke
                 first
                 planting
                 :
                 )
                 where
                 he
                 exclaimes
                 against
                 Pluto's
                 Bastard
                 ,
                 in
                 these
                 or
                 the
                 like
                 continuate
                 passions
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 The
                 Argument
                 .
              
               
                 
                   The
                   Complaint
                   of
                   Time
                   upon
                   Tobacco
                   ;
                   and
                   the
                   miserie
                   of
                   mans
                   securitie
                   ,
                   losing
                   that
                   treasure
                   by
                   Times
                   expence
                   ,
                   which
                   can
                   never
                   be
                   repurchased
                   ,
                   or
                   redeemed
                   ,
                   but
                   by
                   bitter
                   and
                   incessant
                   repentance
                   .
                
              
               
                 WHo
                 CALS
                 on
                 Time
                 ?
                 
                 Who
                 makes
                 use
                 of
                 Time
                 ?
                 Or
                 who
                 in
                 meere
                 compassion
                 wil
                 wipe
                 these
                 teares
                 from
                 the
                 eyes
                 of
                 Time
                 ?
                 Unhappiest
                 of
                 men
                 ,
                 that
                 should
                 offer
                 the
                 best
                 of
                 men
                 ,
                 yet
                 art
                 despised
                 by
                 all
                 men
                 !
                 None
                 here
                 will
                 negotiate
                 in
                 thy
                 behalfe
                 ;
                 they
                 make
                 thee
                 a
                 stale
                 to
                 their
                 pleasures
                 ,
                 a
                 Pandor
                 to
                 their
                 filthinesse
                 ,
                 a
                 Brothell
                 of
                 shame
                 ,
                 and
                 a
                 contempt
                 to
                 thy selfe
                 .
                 None
                 esteemes
                 thee
                 as
                 thou
                 art
                 ,
                 precious
                 ;
                 but
                 makes
                 thee
                 different
                 to
                 thine
                 owne
                 nature
                 ,
                 vitious
                 .
                 The
                 ambitious
                 man
                 hugs
                 thee
                 ,
                 to
                 climbe
                 the
                 ladder
                 of
                 preferment
                 by
                 thee
                 .
                 The
                 wanton
                 and
                 licentious
                 Courtier
                 ,
                 to
                 satisfie
                 the
                 phantasticknesse
                 of
                 his
                 
                 braine-sicke
                 vanitie
                 by
                 thee
                 .
                 The
                 covetous
                 miser
                 ,
                 to
                 enrich
                 his
                 never-contented
                 coffers
                 by
                 thee
                 .
                 The
                 Prodig●…ll
                 ,
                 to
                 spend
                 the
                 gifts
                 of
                 Fortune
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 refined
                 treasure
                 of
                 his
                 sin-crazed
                 soule
                 by
                 thee
                 .
                 Thus
                 ,
                 who
                 uses
                 thee
                 like
                 thy selfe
                 ?
                 Who
                 honours
                 thee
                 like
                 thy selfe
                 ?
                 Or
                 who
                 embraces
                 thee
                 ,
                 but
                 either
                 by
                 pleasing
                 Earths
                 Mammon
                 ,
                 to
                 displease
                 himselfe
                 ,
                 or
                 by
                 contemning
                 thee
                 utterly
                 ,
                 to
                 undoe
                 himselfe
                 ?
                 If
                 thou
                 hadst
                 that
                 which
                 thou
                 hast
                 not
                 ,
                 it
                 may
                 be
                 some
                 would
                 catch
                 thee
                 ,
                 but
                 being
                 bald
                 (
                 as
                 thou
                 art
                 )
                 none
                 layes
                 hold
                 on
                 thee
                 ;
                 what
                 ,
                 none
                 ?
                 no
                 ,
                 none
                 ;
                 
                   Nemo
                   ,
                   herculè
                   ,
                   nemo
                
                 !
                 Yet
                 ,
                 me
                 thinks
                 ,
                 for
                 all
                 thy
                 baldnesse
                 ,
                 the
                 Sergeant
                 should
                 clap
                 hands
                 on
                 thee
                 ;
                 his
                 fingers
                 will
                 grant
                 a
                 bald
                 man
                 no
                 dispensation
                 .
                 Yet
                 thee
                 he
                 never
                 lookes
                 at
                 ,
                 for
                 why
                 ?
                 thou
                 art
                 out
                 of
                 debt
                 ,
                 though
                 all
                 be
                 in
                 arrerages
                 to
                 thee
                 ,
                 all
                 engaged
                 to
                 thee
                 all
                 in
                 subjection
                 to
                 thee
                 :
                 And
                 like
                 an
                 imperious
                 Owner
                 mayest
                 command
                 an
                 hourely
                 arrest
                 ;
                 yet
                 ,
                 who
                 is
                 it
                 of
                 all
                 my
                 debtors
                 braves
                 me
                 not
                 ?
                 who
                 ,
                 of
                 all
                 my
                 factors
                 contemnes
                 mee
                 not
                 ?
                 and
                 (
                 to
                 my
                 griefe
                 )
                 who
                 not
                 of
                 the
                 basest
                 revile
                 me
                 not
                 ?
                 Miserable
                 Time
                 ▪
                 
                 unhappie
                 Creditour●…
                 to
                 have
                 so
                 much
                 pitie
                 on
                 such
                 insolent
                 Debtors
                 .
                 Here
                 I
                 heare
                 my
                 name
                 contested
                 by
                 Truth
                 ,
                 and
                 presently
                 my
                 testimony
                 is
                 beat
                 downe
                 by
                 Falshood
                 ;
                 there
                 ,
                 the
                 simple
                 honest
                 man
                 craves
                 that
                 I
                 may
                 try
                 the
                 cause
                 ;
                 for
                 (
                 saith
                 hee
                 )
                 Time
                 tries
                 all
                 things
                 ;
                 and
                 presently
                 the
                 poore
                 man
                 is
                 cut
                 downe
                 ,
                 before
                 his
                 cause
                 come
                 to
                 the
                 verdict
                 of
                 Time.
                 Thus
                 Justice
                 goes
                 on
                 stilts
                 ,
                 and
                 Time
                 supports
                 her
                 ;
                 Falshood
                 goes
                 under
                 warrant
                 ,
                 and
                 Time
                 secures
                 her
                 ;
                 Simplicitie
                 is
                 opprest
                 ,
                 and
                 Time
                 must
                 delay
                 her
                 ;
                 the
                 good
                 suffer
                 ,
                 and
                 Time
                 sees
                 it
                 ;
                 the
                 ill
                 are
                 dispenc'd
                 with
                 ,
                 &
                 Time
                 confirmes
                 it
                 :
                 Thus
                 may
                 all
                 men
                 impute
                 the
                 cause
                 of
                 all
                 disorder
                 to
                 Time
                 ;
                 and
                 so
                 they
                 doe
                 ,
                 while
                 I
                 in
                 pitie
                 of
                 the
                 good
                 ,
                 will
                 in
                 Time
                 inflict
                 due
                 punishment
                 on
                 the
                 evill
                 .
                 Meane
                 time
                 ,
                 like
                 love
                 himselfe
                 ,
                 and
                 those
                 Aethereall
                 Powers
                 above
                 ,
                 who
                 for
                 all
                 their
                 integritie
                 were
                 accused
                 to
                 be
                 Authors
                 of
                 their
                 owne
                 impietie
                 ,
                 Art
                 thou
                 blamed
                 :
              
               
                 
                   O
                   facinus
                   !
                   mortale
                   Genu●…
                   nos
                   Numin●…
                   primum
                
                 
                 
                   Incusat
                   ;
                   caus●…mque
                   putat
                   ,
                   fontemque
                   malorum
                
                 
                   Quae
                   veniunt
                   .
                
              
               
                 
                   O
                   wickednesse
                   !
                   what
                   h●…inous
                   crimes
                   surprize
                   the
                   hearts
                   of
                   men
                   .
                
                 
                   To
                   make
                   us
                   Authors
                   of
                   that
                   ill
                   which
                   is
                   commit
                   by
                   them
                   ?
                
              
               
                 MUST
                 thou
                 poore
                 Time
                 be
                 a
                 Maske
                 to
                 every
                 fact
                 unjustly
                 committed
                 ?
                 to
                 every
                 bribe
                 corruptly
                 receaved
                 ?
                 to
                 every
                 oppressor
                 ,
                 that
                 is
                 amongst
                 the
                 worst
                 of
                 men
                 numbred
                 ?
                 What
                 remedy
                 !
                 thine
                 owne
                 sinceritie
                 is
                 thine
                 owne
                 best
                 Apologie
                 .
                 Thou
                 wilt
                 once
                 discover
                 thy selfe
                 what
                 thou
                 art
                 ,
                 and
                 detect
                 the
                 secretst
                 of
                 Imagination
                 ,
                 that
                 now
                 seemes
                 secure
                 of
                 thee
                 or
                 thy
                 power
                 .
                 So
                 long
                 hath
                 my
                 Spring
                 continued
                 :
                 I
                 expected
                 a
                 better
                 growth
                 in
                 this
                 field
                 of
                 vanity
                 ,
                 then
                 Stubble
                 and
                 fruitlesse
                 Darnell
                 .
                 Well
                 ,
                 I
                 will
                 now
                 make
                 up
                 my
                 Harvest
                 :
                 I
                 will
                 see
                 if
                 my
                 Sythe
                 can
                 cut
                 downe
                 ,
                 where
                 my
                 Lenitie
                 could
                 not
                 make
                 grow
                 .
                 I
                 have
                 too
                 long
                 seene
                 (
                 the
                 essence
                 of
                 my selfe
                 )
                 opportunity
                 offered
                 ,
                 contemned
                 ;
                 too
                 long
                 ,
                 the
                 estimation
                 and
                 repute
                 
                 of
                 my
                 name
                 eclypsed
                 .
                 The
                 worldling
                 shall
                 know
                 he
                 has
                 a
                 power
                 to
                 prune
                 ,
                 as
                 he
                 had
                 a
                 desire
                 to
                 water
                 :
                 his
                 infinite
                 store
                 of
                 treasures
                 got
                 by
                 oppression
                 ,
                 shall
                 be
                 as
                 pathes
                 which
                 conduct
                 him
                 to
                 the
                 Brinke
                 of
                 confusion
                 .
                 The
                 lascivious
                 Dame
                 ,
                 that
                 turnes
                 my
                 houre-glasse
                 to
                 observe
                 fashions
                 ,
                 shall
                 not
                 with
                 all
                 her
                 painting
                 allure
                 mee
                 ;
                 Nor
                 with
                 her
                 Trumperies
                 entice
                 me
                 ;
                 Nor
                 with
                 her
                 whoorish-looke
                 seduce
                 me
                 .
                 I
                 am
                 too
                 old
                 to
                 be
                 a
                 slave
                 to
                 a
                 whoore
                 ;
                 too
                 wise
                 to
                 be
                 tempted
                 by
                 a
                 whoore
                 ;
                 and
                 too
                 proud
                 to
                 serve
                 a
                 whoore
                 .
                 The
                 wastfull
                 prodigall
                 ,
                 that
                 becomes
                 heire
                 of
                 his
                 fathers
                 bagges
                 ,
                 but
                 not
                 his
                 vertues
                 ,
                 shall
                 not
                 affright
                 me
                 with
                 his
                 oathes
                 ;
                 awe
                 me
                 with
                 his
                 screw'd
                 face
                 ;
                 or
                 dismay
                 me
                 with
                 his
                 Bilboe
                 blade
                 :
                 I
                 have
                 a
                 weapon
                 of
                 a
                 stronger
                 temper
                 ,
                 and
                 it
                 will
                 pierce
                 further
                 then
                 a
                 Roarers
                 Tolado
                 .
                 The
                 unjust
                 Regrater
                 ,
                 that
                 engrosseth
                 wealth
                 to
                 himselfe
                 ,
                 famine
                 to
                 the
                 land
                 ;
                 I
                 will
                 make
                 him
                 open
                 his
                 two-leav'd
                 granars
                 ,
                 pull
                 out
                 his
                 worme-sprowt
                 corne
                 ,
                 and
                 lay
                 his
                 foysty
                 victuall
                 forth
                 to
                 the
                 open
                 Market
                 .
                 And
                 this
                 done
                 ;
                 I
                 will
                 bring
                 him
                 bound
                 ,
                 before
                 a
                 
                 better
                 Purveyer
                 .
                 The
                 proud
                 ambicious
                 arrogant
                 Princocke
                 ,
                 that
                 glories
                 in
                 his
                 out-side
                 ,
                 (
                 and
                 so
                 he
                 may
                 ,
                 for
                 it
                 is
                 worth
                 more
                 than
                 his
                 inside
                 )
                 shall
                 Player-like
                 ,
                 be
                 stript
                 out
                 of
                 those
                 silken
                 Trappings
                 :
                 he
                 plaid
                 a
                 brave
                 mans
                 part
                 on
                 the
                 Theatre
                 of
                 this
                 world
                 ,
                 but
                 he
                 has
                 his
                 Exit
                 ,
                 and
                 I
                 am
                 in
                 the
                 Tyring-house
                 and
                 will
                 dis-robe
                 him
                 ;
                 he
                 shall
                 know
                 ,
                 
                   Mundus
                   Universus
                   exercet
                   Histrionem
                
                 ;
                 Earth
                 is
                 but
                 a
                 stage
                 ,
                 the
                 life
                 an
                 Enterlude
                 ,
                 the
                 people
                 Actors
                 ;
                 onely
                 I
                 am
                 left
                 to
                 empty
                 the
                 Stage
                 with
                 my
                 Epilogue
                 ,
                 but
                 none
                 of
                 these
                 for
                 my
                 paines
                 will
                 give
                 mee
                 a
                 Plaudite
                 .
              
               
                 Yet
                 of
                 all
                 these
                 ,
                 none
                 to
                 me
                 so
                 profest
                 enemies
                 as
                 these
                 smokers
                 of
                 our
                 Age
                 ;
                 they
                 whiffe
                 me
                 out
                 in
                 fume
                 :
                 and
                 spend
                 my
                 best
                 of
                 houres
                 in
                 Candle-light
                 ;
                 their
                 wits
                 goe
                 and
                 come
                 by
                 Pipe
                 and
                 Pipe
                 ;
                 thus
                 am
                 I
                 taken
                 in
                 snuffe
                 by
                 every
                 Pesant
                 .
                 Alas
                 (
                 poore
                 aged
                 Time
                 )
                 was
                 thy
                 first
                 race
                 thus
                 addicted
                 ?
                 were
                 those
                 ancient
                 Heroes
                 of
                 renowne
                 ,
                 which
                 got
                 glory
                 by
                 forraine
                 Conquests
                 ,
                 for
                 their
                 Pipe
                 using
                 a
                 Pike
                 ,
                 for
                 an
                 herbes
                 vapour
                 ,
                 fields
                 terror
                 ,
                 thus
                 imployed
                 ?
                 No
                 ;
                 their
                 time
                 
                 was
                 spent
                 (
                 and
                 gloriously
                 spent
                 )
                 in
                 their
                 countries
                 renowne
                 ;
                 Common-weales
                 successe
                 ;
                 or
                 publike
                 managements
                 of
                 state
                 ,
                 not
                 in
                 an
                 airie
                 vapour
                 .
                 These
                 increased
                 in
                 generall
                 respect
                 by
                 particular
                 worth
                 ;
                 they
                 had
                 other
                 imployments
                 than
                 piping
                 ;
                 Belonaes
                 march
                 relished
                 better
                 than
                 the
                 juyce
                 of
                 Necotiana
                 ;
                 then
                 were
                 the
                 clattering
                 of
                 Armes
                 ,
                 the
                 ranking
                 of
                 battailes
                 ,
                 the
                 ranging
                 of
                 souldiers
                 ,
                 and
                 marshalling
                 of
                 fields
                 ,
                 of
                 more
                 esteeme
                 than
                 smoake
                 .
                 Unworthy
                 successors
                 of
                 so
                 noble
                 and
                 imparalleld
                 predecessors
                 ,
                 shall
                 Time
                 be
                 spent
                 in
                 nothing
                 ,
                 being
                 the
                 precioust
                 of
                 all
                 things
                 ,
                 but
                 in
                 smoake
                 and
                 vapour
                 ,
                 the
                 lightest
                 and
                 trivialst
                 of
                 all
                 things
                 ?
                 Shall
                 your
                 imployments
                 which
                 use
                 to
                 be
                 so
                 serious
                 ,
                 be
                 expended
                 on
                 an
                 herbe
                 ,
                 of
                 all
                 others
                 ,
                 most
                 obnoxious
                 ?
                 How
                 Time
                 weepes
                 ▪
                 see
                 his
                 teares
                 trickling
                 ;
                 his
                 poore
                 decrepit
                 legges
                 declining
                 ;
                 his
                 tongue
                 faltring
                 (
                 as
                 one
                 ready
                 to
                 leave
                 you
                 )
                 and
                 then
                 where
                 be
                 your
                 delights
                 ended
                 ,
                 how
                 is
                 that
                 interim
                 of
                 your
                 life
                 concluded
                 ,
                 when
                 Time
                 shall
                 leave
                 you
                 ,
                 that
                 so
                 long
                 bare
                 with
                 you
                 ?
                 when
                 your
                 dayes
                 ,
                 as
                 they
                 were
                 imployed
                 in
                 
                 smoake
                 ,
                 shall
                 end
                 in
                 smoake
                 ?
                 Alas
                 !
                 I
                 doe
                 pitty
                 my
                 childrens
                 security
                 ,
                 pitty
                 them
                 and
                 grieve
                 for
                 them
                 ;
                 
                   Nec
                   longè
                   a
                   miseria
                   est
                   ,
                   qu●…squis
                   miseratur
                   .
                
                 Your
                 misery
                 (
                 by
                 a
                 transumed
                 nature
                 )
                 becomes
                 my
                 misery
                 ;
                 and
                 while
                 you
                 lose
                 me
                 in
                 smoaking
                 ,
                 I
                 well-nigh
                 lose
                 my selfe
                 in
                 sighing
                 .
                 O
                 Niobe
                 ,
                 why
                 weptst
                 thou
                 that
                 thou
                 shouldst
                 be
                 so
                 soone
                 deprived
                 of
                 children
                 ,
                 since
                 my
                 greatest
                 misery
                 is
                 derived
                 from
                 having
                 children
                 ?
                 Thou
                 weptst
                 ,
                 not
                 to
                 possesse
                 them
                 ,
                 I
                 to
                 enjoy
                 them
                 ;
                 Contemning
                 their
                 foster
                 mother
                 that
                 first
                 nurst
                 them
                 .
                 I
                 tell
                 them
                 ,
                 my
                 teares
                 are
                 continuate
                 ;
                 my
                 love
                 intimate
                 ;
                 and
                 my
                 end
                 approaching
                 ;
                 yet
                 they
                 answer
                 me
                 with
                 hearts
                 obdurate
                 ;
                 enmitie
                 inveterate
                 ;
                 and
                 ends
                 despairing
                 .
                 I
                 offer
                 my selfe
                 ,
                 and
                 they
                 spurne
                 at
                 me
                 ;
                 wooe
                 them
                 with
                 best
                 of
                 Times
                 rhetoricke
                 ,
                 and
                 they
                 despise
                 me
                 ;
                 and
                 open
                 the
                 treasures
                 of
                 my
                 heart
                 to
                 them
                 ,
                 but
                 they
                 reject
                 them
                 and
                 casheere
                 me
                 .
                 And
                 is
                 not
                 this
                 miserable
                 ,
                 to
                 contemne
                 him
                 ,
                 casheere
                 him
                 ,
                 revile
                 and
                 inveigh
                 against
                 him
                 ,
                 without
                 whom
                 they
                 cannot
                 live
                 ;
                 without
                 whose
                 breath
                 they
                 cannot
                 grow
                 ;
                 and
                 without
                 
                 whose
                 supportance
                 they
                 cannot
                 stand
                 ?
                 What
                 have
                 they
                 which
                 I
                 give
                 them
                 not
                 ,
                 (
                 or
                 within
                 the
                 course
                 of
                 my
                 houres
                 )
                 that
                 I
                 minister
                 not
                 ?
                 Puritie
                 of
                 aire
                 ,
                 to
                 breathe
                 ;
                 variety
                 of
                 sounds
                 ,
                 to
                 heare
                 ;
                 fragrancy
                 of
                 savours
                 ,
                 to
                 smell
                 ;
                 qualities
                 and
                 differences
                 of
                 taste
                 ,
                 to
                 relish
                 ;
                 Diversity
                 of
                 corpulent
                 substance
                 ,
                 to
                 handle
                 ;
                 and
                 rarities
                 ,
                 with
                 dissundred
                 store
                 of
                 varieties
                 ,
                 to
                 behold
                 .
                 And
                 doe
                 these
                 bounties
                 deserve
                 no
                 requitall
                 ?
                 Doe
                 these
                 gifts
                 merit
                 no
                 recompence
                 ?
                 Must
                 these
                 ample
                 and
                 indefinite
                 beauties
                 and
                 bounties
                 receive
                 no
                 thankes
                 ?
                 must
                 this
                 
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                
                 ,
                 that
                 gracefull
                 remuneration
                 ,
                 established
                 by
                 the
                 Persians
                 :
                 that
                 ,
                 whosoever
                 should
                 be
                 readier
                 to
                 receive
                 than
                 give
                 ,
                 was
                 to
                 be
                 punished
                 with
                 extreme
                 censure
                 ,
                 be
                 thus
                 wrapt
                 up
                 in
                 forgetfulnesse
                 ?
                 I
                 have
                 long
                 expected
                 substances
                 ,
                 and
                 am
                 I
                 payed
                 with
                 smoake
                 ?
                 a
                 sweet
                 Incence
                 !
                 an
                 excellent
                 satisfaction
                 !
                 More
                 guerdon
                 doe
                 I
                 receive
                 of
                 my
                 love
                 frō
                 the
                 sleeping
                 Dormouse
                 ,
                 than
                 
                 the
                 smoaking
                 Gallants
                 ;
                 shee
                 sleepes
                 but
                 all
                 Winter
                 ,
                 but
                 this
                 
                   Man
                   i'
                   th'
                   Mist
                
                 smoakes
                 it
                 all
                 the
                 yeare
                 long
                 :
                 hee
                 proportions
                 his
                 nose
                 ,
                 like
                 the
                 Elephants
                 
                 snout
                 ;
                 and
                 to
                 make
                 himselfe
                 more
                 terrible
                 ,
                 like
                 another
                 Aetna
                 ,
                 steemes
                 Vapor
                 and
                 terror
                 out
                 of
                 his
                 nose
                 .
                 Sure
                 this
                 is
                 none
                 of
                 my
                 Boy
                 !
                 I
                 sent
                 him
                 not
                 into
                 the
                 world
                 smoaking
                 ,
                 but
                 shriking
                 ;
                 and
                 now
                 as
                 soone
                 as
                 he
                 came
                 peeping
                 into
                 the
                 world
                 ,
                 to
                 fall
                 a
                 piping
                 ;
                 he
                 doth
                 not
                 that
                 for
                 which
                 he
                 was
                 sent
                 hither
                 .
                 VVell
                 ;
                 if
                 this
                 be
                 the
                 fruit
                 of
                 thy
                 long
                 education
                 ,
                 the
                 end
                 of
                 my
                 travaile
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 period
                 of
                 my
                 care
                 ,
                 I
                 must
                 seeke
                 out
                 some
                 other
                 children
                 ,
                 that
                 will
                 imploy
                 their
                 time
                 better
                 ,
                 and
                 make
                 use
                 of
                 my
                 bounties
                 with
                 more
                 circumspection
                 .
                 O
                 Lord
                 ,
                 that
                 Diogenes
                 had
                 come
                 in
                 those
                 dayes
                 with
                 his
                 Lanterne
                 and
                 Candle
                 at
                 noone
                 day
                 ,
                 he
                 should
                 have
                 found
                 many
                 at
                 their
                 Candle
                 without
                 Lanthorne
                 ,
                 but
                 none
                 of
                 those
                 hee
                 sought
                 for
                 ,
                 
                   good
                   men
                
                 .
                 Alas
                 !
                 where
                 may
                 Time
                 find
                 those
                 rare
                 Phoenixes
                 ,
                 those
                 white
                 Crowes
                 ,
                 blacke
                 Swans
                 ,
                 those
                 mirrours
                 of
                 mortality
                 ?
                 the
                 
                 Grecians
                 Axiome
                 was
                 :
                 
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                
                 ;
                 nothing
                 that
                 ever
                 was
                 ,
                 ever
                 erred
                 ;
                 but
                 
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                
                 ,
                 now
                 shall
                 be
                 changed
                 into
                 
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                   〈◊〉
                
                 ,
                 for
                 all
                 things
                 now
                 claime
                 privilege
                 in
                 errour
                 ;
                 and
                 yet
                 
                 what
                 availes
                 it
                 thee
                 poore
                 Time
                 ,
                 to
                 weepe
                 ?
                 thou
                 mayst
                 sooner
                 change
                 thy selfe
                 into
                 Marble
                 with
                 Niobe
                 ,
                 than
                 dissolve
                 the
                 marble
                 hearts
                 of
                 thy
                 children
                 with
                 thy
                 remorsefull
                 teares
                 .
                 Vertue
                 feldome
                 mounts
                 ,
                 but
                 Vice
                 is
                 ever
                 mounting
                 ;
                 Passion
                 may
                 shew
                 thy
                 griefe
                 ,
                 but
                 the
                 extent
                 of
                 griefe
                 (
                 much
                 I
                 feare
                 it
                 )
                 will
                 not
                 minister
                 a
                 
                 remedy
                 .
                 As
                 when
                 Annibal
                 ,
                 seeing
                 his
                 brothers
                 head
                 thrown
                 into
                 his
                 Tents
                 ,
                 cryed
                 out
                 :
                 Now
                 doe
                 I
                 behold
                 the
                 misery
                 of
                 Carthage
                 !
                 so
                 when
                 I
                 behold
                 that
                 Tawny-faced
                 Aethiopian
                 stand
                 out
                 pictured
                 with
                 a
                 Pipe
                 in
                 ▪
                 his
                 hand
                 ,
                 to
                 entice
                 the
                 poore
                 passenger
                 ,
                 may
                 I
                 justly
                 cry
                 out
                 ;
                 Now
                 doe
                 I
                 behold
                 the
                 misery
                 of
                 the
                 world
                 ;
                 the
                 corrupter
                 of
                 Cities
                 ;
                 the
                 depraver
                 of
                 youth
                 ;
                 the
                 dotage
                 of
                 Age
                 ;
                 the
                 dissolution
                 of
                 all
                 !
                 And
                 this
                 griefe
                 is
                 no
                 lesse
                 than
                 any
                 other
                 to
                 me
                 :
                 when
                 I
                 see
                 Pipes
                 made
                 occasions
                 of
                 discourse
                 ;
                 where
                 nothing
                 rellisheth
                 ,
                 nothing
                 de
                 lighteth
                 without
                 them
                 :
                 O
                 ,
                 how
                 Idlenesse
                 hath
                 erected
                 a
                 throne
                 for
                 her
                 to
                 sit
                 in
                 ;
                 and
                 in
                 majestie
                 triumphes
                 over
                 the
                 labours
                 of
                 poore
                 men
                 !
                 O
                 baine
                 of
                 youth
                 ,
                 why
                 darest
                 thou
                 usurp
                 
                 the
                 authoritie
                 of
                 a
                 soveraigne
                 ,
                 that
                 〈◊〉
                 at
                 best
                 ,
                 but
                 a
                 Vassall
                 to
                 the
                 Divell
                 ;
                 a
                 deluder
                 of
                 Novices
                 with
                 smoake
                 and
                 vanity
                 ;
                 a
                 dissolver
                 of
                 states
                 ;
                 a
                 weakener
                 of
                 spirits
                 ;
                 an
                 enfeebler
                 of
                 strength
                 ;
                 an
                 effeminator
                 of
                 youth
                 ;
                 and
                 a
                 besotte●…
                 of
                 Age
                 ?
                 why
                 shouldst
                 thou
                 in
                 thy selfe
                 be
                 so
                 imperious
                 ,
                 that
                 art
                 to
                 all
                 States
                 so
                 generally
                 pernicious
                 ?
                 Shall
                 that
                 issue
                 which
                 I
                 have
                 bred
                 and
                 brought
                 up
                 in
                 more
                 generous
                 discipline
                 ,
                 in
                 more
                 heroicke
                 affaires
                 :
                 not
                 in
                 smoake
                 ▪
                 but
                 in
                 the
                 consideration
                 of
                 themselves
                 ;
                 not
                 in
                 the
                 expence
                 of
                 idle
                 houres
                 ,
                 but
                 in
                 the
                 contemplacion
                 of
                 that
                 soveraigne
                 end
                 wherto
                 they
                 must
                 of
                 necessity
                 come
                 (
                 or
                 be
                 miserably
                 excluded
                 ;
                 )
                 imploy
                 their
                 time
                 (
                 which
                 time
                 they
                 borro●…
                 but
                 of
                 me
                 )
                 in
                 vanity●…
                 leaving
                 their
                 best
                 and
                 soveraign'st
                 delights
                 ,
                 to
                 follow
                 their
                 owne
                 phantasticke
                 humours
                 ?
                 have
                 they
                 no
                 other
                 meanes
                 to
                 bestow
                 that
                 little
                 remainder
                 of
                 time
                 which
                 is
                 yet
                 behind
                 ,
                 but
                 in
                 those
                 vanities
                 which
                 abridge
                 their
                 time
                 ,
                 contract
                 their
                 dayes
                 ,
                 and
                 make
                 me
                 miserable
                 in
                 the
                 eternall
                 discomfort
                 of
                 my
                 children
                 ?
                 Remaines
                 there
                 nothing
                 now
                 for
                 all
                 my
                 time
                 of
                 labour
                 
                 in
                 nurturing
                 them
                 ,
                 who
                 have
                 bin
                 odious
                 to
                 that
                 Power
                 from
                 whence
                 I
                 descended
                 ?
                 Ungratefull
                 to
                 mee
                 ,
                 by
                 whom
                 they
                 were
                 releeved
                 ?
                 and
                 worst
                 to
                 themselves
                 ,
                 by
                 whom
                 they
                 have
                 perished
                 ?
                 I
                 say
                 ,
                 remaines
                 there
                 nothing
                 for
                 my
                 labour
                 in
                 nurturing
                 them
                 ,
                 but
                 teares
                 of
                 continuate
                 affliction
                 ?
                 motives
                 of
                 perpetuate
                 distraction
                 (
                 and
                 remedilesse
                 )
                 being
                 hopelesse
                 of
                 their
                 conversion
                 ?
                 I
                 was
                 to
                 them
                 a
                 second
                 Nature
                 ,
                 by
                 my
                 nurture
                 pamphering
                 them
                 with
                 my
                 delights
                 ;
                 without
                 occasion
                 of
                 surfet
                 ;
                 cherishing
                 them
                 with
                 my
                 essentiall
                 Cordials
                 of
                 comfort
                 ;
                 and
                 teaching
                 them
                 mannagements
                 of
                 Armes
                 ,
                 all
                 oppositions
                 to
                 discomfit
                 ;
                 and
                 yet
                 how
                 soone
                 may
                 valour
                 be
                 turn'd
                 to
                 effeminacy
                 ,
                 resolution
                 to
                 cowardise
                 ,
                 and
                 discreet
                 government
                 (
                 in
                 a
                 hopefull
                 infancie
                 )
                 to
                 a
                 distemporate
                 dyet
                 ,
                 by
                 giving
                 the
                 reines
                 of
                 liberty
                 ?
                 But
                 I
                 see
                 the
                 cause
                 !
                 while
                 they
                 lived
                 under
                 Times
                 tuition
                 ;
                 and
                 were
                 observant
                 of
                 his
                 worth
                 ;
                 they
                 answered
                 Times
                 hopes
                 ,
                 making
                 a
                 vertuous
                 age
                 succeed
                 a
                 vertuous
                 birth
                 :
                 Then
                 were
                 they
                 rained
                 and
                 ●…estrained
                 ;
                 but
                 now
                 giving
                 windes
                 to
                 
                 their
                 sayles
                 ,
                 they
                 aspire
                 higher
                 ,
                 and
                 must
                 taste
                 of
                 an
                 herbe
                 that
                 equals
                 the
                 aspiring
                 of
                 their
                 minds
                 .
                 O
                 ,
                 let
                 time
                 move
                 you
                 to
                 a
                 better
                 and
                 maturer
                 aspiring
                 ▪
                 not
                 ●…
                 smoaky
                 suffrage
                 of
                 popular
                 praise
                 ;
                 not
                 the
                 vaine
                 Consorts
                 of
                 house-wasting
                 Rake-hels
                 :
                 but
                 to
                 take
                 hold
                 of
                 me
                 ,
                 now
                 while
                 you
                 may
                 possesse
                 me
                 .
                 I
                 am
                 wilfull
                 ,
                 if
                 you
                 be
                 neglectfull
                 :
                 I
                 have
                 no
                 haire
                 behind
                 ,
                 as
                 you
                 see
                 :
                 take
                 me
                 then
                 by
                 the
                 fore-locke
                 ,
                 and
                 make
                 use
                 of
                 opportunity
                 .
                 Time
                 is
                 a
                 precious
                 jewell
                 that
                 must
                 be
                 sought
                 after
                 ,
                 if
                 obtained
                 ;
                 feeke
                 after
                 me
                 then
                 ,
                 while
                 I
                 may
                 be
                 obtained
                 .
                 This
                 Age
                 (
                 I
                 know
                 )
                 hath
                 many
                 inducements
                 to
                 draw
                 you
                 from
                 me
                 ,
                 many
                 allurements
                 to
                 seduce
                 you
                 :
                 but
                 shall
                 your
                 father
                 ,
                 even
                 the
                 Diall
                 of
                 your
                 youth
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 Haven
                 of
                 your
                 Age
                 ,
                 shall
                 ●…e
                 (
                 I
                 say
                 )
                 loose
                 that
                 excellence
                 which
                 was
                 created
                 ,
                 and
                 at
                 first
                 ordained
                 for
                 him
                 ?
                 Must
                 your
                 Winter
                 (
                 which
                 seldome
                 brings
                 forth
                 either
                 flower
                 or
                 fruit
                 )
                 be
                 reserved
                 for
                 Time
                 ;
                 when
                 your
                 Spring
                 ,
                 Summer
                 ,
                 and
                 Autumne
                 have
                 bin
                 consumed
                 in
                 the
                 losse
                 of
                 Time
                 ?
                 When
                 Theseus
                 came
                 to
                 the
                 Temple
                 of
                 Delphos
                 ,
                 he
                 offered
                 the
                 
                 first
                 fruits
                 of
                 his
                 haire
                 to
                 Apollo
                 ;
                 making
                 the
                 forepart
                 of
                 his
                 head
                 to
                 be
                 shaven
                 ,
                 that
                 he
                 might
                 take
                 away
                 all
                 occasion
                 of
                 discomfiture
                 from
                 the
                 Enemie
                 (
                 as
                 Homer
                 writes
                 of
                 the
                 Aba●…ts
                 .
                 )
                 Offer
                 then
                 your
                 first
                 fruits
                 ,
                 your
                 first
                 endevours
                 ,
                 and
                 first
                 intentions
                 ,
                 to
                 the
                 use
                 and
                 service
                 of
                 time
                 ;
                 that
                 in
                 the
                 surveigh
                 of
                 your
                 readinesse
                 ,
                 he
                 may
                 minister
                 to
                 you
                 with
                 all
                 cheerfulnesse
                 .
                 Beleeve
                 times
                 words
                 !
                 it
                 is
                 not
                 the
                 swarty-chopt
                 Tobaccodrugge
                 ,
                 that
                 will
                 yeeld
                 you
                 content
                 in
                 the
                 expence
                 of
                 your
                 time
                 :
                 You
                 may
                 smoake
                 it
                 long
                 ere
                 you
                 better
                 your
                 owne
                 discourse
                 ,
                 or
                 make
                 your
                 Accounts
                 even
                 ,
                 which
                 Time
                 expects
                 at
                 your
                 hands
                 .
                 A
                 whole
                 ounce
                 of
                 Tobacco
                 will
                 hardly
                 purchase
                 one
                 dram
                 of
                 wit
                 :
                 Repentance
                 is
                 the
                 best
                 fruit
                 you
                 shall
                 reape
                 out
                 of
                 such
                 an
                 unsavory
                 herbe
                 .
                 Art
                 thou
                 yet
                 reclaimed
                 ,
                 or
                 art
                 thou
                 hardned
                 ?
                 If
                 the
                 one
                 ,
                 Time
                 shall
                 entertaine
                 thee
                 with
                 his
                 blessing
                 :
                 if
                 the
                 other
                 ;
                 Time
                 will
                 bid
                 thee
                 farewell
                 ,
                 but
                 farewell
                 thou
                 canst
                 not
                 ;
                 being
                 relinquished
                 ,
                 and
                 utterly
                 forsaken
                 by
                 Time.
                 I
                 am
                 yet
                 staying
                 heere
                 in
                 the
                 street
                 for
                 thee
                 :
                 answer
                 mee
                 but
                 
                 with
                 hope
                 ,
                 that
                 thou
                 wilt
                 come
                 ,
                 and
                 thou
                 wilt
                 revive
                 poore
                 Time
                 ,
                 that
                 droopes
                 with
                 despaire
                 of
                 thy
                 returne
                 .
                 Yet
                 ,
                 
                   Spissum
                   verbum
                   est
                   amanti
                   ,
                   veniet
                   :
                
                 I
                 pray
                 thee
                 foreslow
                 not
                 my
                 hopes
                 ,
                 frustrate
                 not
                 my
                 expectance
                 ,
                 but
                 satisfie
                 my
                 love
                 ;
                 Never
                 did
                 pleasures
                 with
                 all
                 their
                 appearance
                 ,
                 so
                 much
                 affect
                 thee
                 ,
                 nor
                 any
                 temporary
                 delights
                 so
                 well
                 deserve
                 thee
                 :
                 Come
                 then
                 quickly
                 to
                 him
                 that
                 doth
                 both
                 love
                 thee
                 ,
                 and
                 hath
                 well
                 deserved
                 thee
                 :
                 
                   Odit
                   ,
                   nec
                   patitur
                   moras
                   amor
                   :
                
                 That
                 love
                 which
                 proceeds
                 from
                 the
                 heart
                 ,
                 hates
                 delayes
                 with
                 her
                 hart
                 ;
                 but
                 where
                 love
                 is
                 dissembling
                 ,
                 there
                 love
                 without
                 offence
                 may
                 be
                 delaying
                 .
                 How
                 long
                 have
                 I
                 observed
                 thee
                 yonder
                 smoaking
                 ,
                 and
                 was
                 doubtfull
                 whether
                 thou
                 wert
                 (
                 as
                 thou
                 seemedst
                 )
                 a
                 man
                 ,
                 or
                 that
                 Beast
                 ,
                 which
                 the
                 naturall
                 Historian
                 talkes
                 off
                 ,
                 that
                 sends
                 out
                 nought
                 but
                 fire
                 ?
                 In
                 ,
                 I
                 durst
                 not
                 come
                 to
                 thee
                 ;
                 for
                 I
                 doubted
                 ,
                 if
                 I
                 had
                 remembred
                 thee
                 of
                 my
                 abuse
                 ,
                 I
                 should
                 have
                 beene
                 spurn'd
                 and
                 spurted
                 at
                 for
                 my
                 labour
                 ;
                 Thou
                 art
                 too
                 great
                 to
                 be
                 put
                 in
                 mind
                 of
                 thy
                 errours
                 :
                 but
                 the
                 time
                 will
                 come
                 (
                 
                   Et
                   nesci●…
                   citius
                   an
                   facilius
                
                 )
                 
                 when
                 thou
                 wilt
                 wish
                 with
                 briny
                 eyes
                 ,
                 relenting
                 heart
                 ,
                 and
                 all
                 attendants
                 of
                 a
                 passionate
                 and
                 distracted
                 soule
                 ,
                 thou
                 hadst
                 received
                 my
                 instructions
                 ,
                 attended
                 to
                 my
                 advertisements
                 ,
                 and
                 made
                 Use
                 of
                 my
                 Cautions
                 .
                 I
                 will
                 therefore
                 ,
                 with
                 this
                 publicke
                 and
                 irrevocable
                 Edict
                 ,
                 summon
                 three
                 maine
                 infringers
                 of
                 my
                 Will
                 ,
                 contemners
                 of
                 my selfe
                 ,
                 and
                 corrupters
                 of
                 the
                 Age
                 :
                 my
                 summons
                 shall
                 serve
                 for
                 my
                 last
                 warning
                 ;
                 if
                 they
                 returne
                 no
                 more
                 to
                 those
                 Stygian-shops
                 ;
                 those
                 Cymerian
                 hovels
                 of
                 darkenesse
                 ,
                 I
                 will
                 remit
                 their
                 former
                 errours
                 ;
                 if
                 (
                 in
                 despite
                 of
                 my
                 summons
                 )
                 they
                 continue
                 in
                 the
                 height
                 of
                 their
                 Flaming
                 vanities
                 ,
                 their
                 smoaky
                 Impostures
                 ,
                 Time
                 shall
                 whip
                 those
                 three
                 Stygmaticall
                 Catolounes
                 to
                 death
                 ,
                 cutting
                 them
                 downe
                 like
                 Mugweedes
                 ,
                 with
                 the
                 Sythe
                 of
                 Fate
                 :
                 Those
                 three
                 majesticke
                 Tobacco-nosers
                 ,
                 Captaine
                 WHIFFE
                 ,
                 Captaine
                 PIPE
                 ,
                 and
                 Captaine
                 SNUFFE
                 .
                 And
                 first
                 for
                 Captaine
                 WHIFFE
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 To
                 Captaine
                 WHIFFE
                 .
              
               
                 YOu
                 Captaine
                 ,
                 that
                 glory
                 in
                 your
                 Art
                 of
                 vanity
                 ,
                 making
                 a
                 high
                 
                 Road-way
                 'twixt
                 your
                 mouth
                 and
                 your
                 guttes
                 ,
                 (
                 and
                 with
                 a
                 cunning
                 retrait
                 )
                 bringing
                 it
                 backe
                 same
                 way
                 it
                 came
                 ;
                 you
                 ,
                 that
                 set
                 up
                 bils
                 for
                 your
                 Novice
                 to
                 reade
                 ;
                 as
                 thus
                 :
                 
                   Whosoever
                   wil
                   be
                   Disciplined
                   ,
                   or
                   Matricula
                   ted
                   in
                   the
                   Art
                   ,
                   Science
                   or
                   Mystery
                   of
                   Tobacco-whiffing
                   ,
                   let
                   him
                   subscribe
                   his
                   name
                   ,
                   the
                   place
                   of
                   his
                   being
                   ;
                   and
                   Captaine
                   Whiff
                   :
                   will
                   be
                   ready
                   there
                   to
                   attend
                   his
                   yong
                   master-ships
                   pleasure
                   ,
                   with
                   the
                   profoundst
                   of
                   his
                   skil
                   .
                
                 O
                 my
                 impudent
                 Sharke
                 ,
                 Art
                 thou
                 fled
                 from
                 thy
                 Captaine
                 ,
                 &
                 dar'st
                 thou
                 now
                 usurpe
                 the
                 name
                 of
                 Valour
                 ?
                 Thou
                 :
                 that
                 durst
                 not
                 smell
                 Gunpowder
                 art
                 now
                 turn'd
                 Tobacco-whiffer
                 ?
                 For
                 thee
                 ,
                 if
                 there
                 were
                 no
                 Time
                 ,
                 yet
                 there
                 would
                 remaine
                 some
                 few
                 Minutes
                 reserved
                 ,
                 to
                 commend
                 thee
                 to
                 a
                 halter
                 ,
                 for
                 thy
                 flight
                 from
                 thy
                 Captaine
                 .
                 I
                 my selfe
                 will
                 present
                 thee
                 for
                 altogether
                 ;
                 thou
                 shalt
                 not
                 onely
                 bee
                 hanged
                 (
                 I
                 would
                 have
                 thee
                 marke
                 me
                 )
                 before
                 the
                 eye
                 of
                 the
                 world
                 ;
                 but
                 I
                 will
                 have
                 thee
                 begg'd
                 for
                 an
                 Anatomie
                 ,
                 that
                 thy
                 Entrals
                 ▪
                 (
                 like
                 Tamerlaines
                 blacke
                 Bannaret
                 )
                 may
                 hang
                 for
                 Tropheyes
                 in
                 honour
                 of
                 Captaine
                 
                 Whiffe
                 ,
                 and
                 his
                 thrice-puissant
                 ,
                 and
                 thrice-renowned
                 Profession
                 .
                 Having
                 brought
                 thee
                 to
                 be
                 this
                 Anatomy
                 ,
                 I
                 will
                 leave
                 thee
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 To
                 Captaine
                 PIPE
                 .
              
               
                 YOu
                 Captaine
                 Pipe
                 (
                 because
                 your
                 name
                 is
                 good
                 )
                 and
                 many
                 Pipes
                 we
                 need
                 in
                 this
                 our
                 flourishing
                 Troynovant
                 ,
                 for
                 conveyance
                 of
                 that
                 pure
                 Element
                 water
                 into
                 our
                 Citie
                 .
                 You
                 I
                 say
                 ,
                 shall
                 be
                 imployed
                 in
                 conveying
                 of
                 water
                 ,
                 (
                 because
                 you
                 have
                 beene
                 ever
                 used
                 by
                 men
                 which
                 frequented
                 those
                 Alleyes
                 )
                 to
                 those
                 despicable
                 and
                 forlorne
                 creatures
                 ,
                 those
                 diseased
                 Gally-foists
                 of
                 
                   Turneball
                   ,
                   Picke-hatch
                   ,
                   Ram-Allie
                
                 ,
                 and
                 other
                 Suburbane-traders
                 ,
                 that
                 in
                 contempt
                 of
                 Vertue
                 ,
                 make
                 a
                 Contract
                 with
                 Hell.
                 This
                 (
                 though
                 it
                 be
                 no
                 worke
                 of
                 Charity
                 )
                 yet
                 it
                 is
                 as
                 good
                 a
                 worke
                 as
                 is
                 expected
                 of
                 thee
                 Captaine
                 :
                 thou
                 wert
                 once
                 the
                 Gallants
                 Pander
                 ,
                 beare
                 now
                 the
                 Whoores
                 Tankard
                 :
                 Where
                 I
                 will
                 leave
                 thee
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 To
                 Captaine
                 SNUFFE
                 .
              
               
                 CAptaine
                 Snuffe
                 ,
                 it
                 may
                 bee
                 you
                 will
                 take
                 it
                 in
                 snuffe
                 ,
                 if
                 Time
                 tell
                 you
                 wherein
                 you
                 erre
                 :
                 but
                 best
                 is
                 ,
                 as
                 I
                 am
                 indifferent
                 for
                 thy
                 hate
                 ,
                 I
                 am
                 secure
                 for
                 thy
                 power
                 :
                 Renounce
                 the
                 Devill
                 ,
                 (
                 Captaine
                 )
                 be
                 not
                 fired
                 before
                 thy
                 time
                 :
                 be
                 respective
                 (
                 as
                 thou
                 art
                 a
                 Captaine
                 )
                 of
                 thine
                 honour
                 ;
                 and
                 take
                 heed
                 thou
                 taste
                 not
                 ,
                 for
                 thy
                 Tobacco
                 ,
                 Brimstone
                 and
                 Sulphur
                 :
                 I
                 would
                 not
                 have
                 thee
                 snuffe
                 at
                 mine
                 instructions
                 ;
                 for
                 I
                 may
                 ,
                 and
                 with
                 unamated
                 front
                 must
                 tell
                 thee
                 ,
                 that
                 I
                 have
                 contested
                 with
                 a
                 man
                 of
                 as
                 great
                 worth
                 ,
                 and
                 of
                 far
                 more
                 grace
                 ,
                 it
                 may
                 be
                 .
                 The
                 higher
                 Cedar
                 (
                 if
                 faultie
                 )
                 deserves
                 the
                 rougher
                 censure
                 .
                 Opposition
                 to
                 the
                 malevolent
                 disposition
                 ,
                 is
                 my
                 recreation
                 .
                 Now
                 it
                 may
                 bee
                 ,
                 that
                 in
                 some
                 drunken
                 passion
                 thou
                 wilt
                 sweare
                 to
                 stab
                 me
                 ,
                 what
                 wilt
                 thou
                 gaine
                 by
                 it
                 ?
                 where
                 wilt
                 thou
                 bee
                 ,
                 when
                 Time
                 has
                 no
                 being
                 ?
                 Let
                 not
                 my
                 precepts
                 move
                 thine
                 indignation
                 ,
                 but
                 thy
                 conversion
                 :
                 for
                 thy
                 threats
                 ,
                 Time
                 never
                 feared
                 them
                 (
                 though
                 spoken
                 by
                 valour
                 )
                 much
                 lesse
                 
                 by
                 an
                 indiscreet
                 Asse
                 ,
                 that
                 is
                 carried
                 away
                 with
                 choler
                 .
              
               
                 Now
                 for
                 my
                 Pipe-invective
                 ;
                 if
                 it
                 drive
                 thee
                 into
                 a
                 fume
                 ,
                 from
                 a
                 fume
                 to
                 a
                 flame
                 ,
                 my
                 heart
                 is
                 hoofed
                 ;
                 may
                 thy
                 gall
                 with
                 fume
                 bee
                 seared
                 ,
                 thy
                 guts
                 with
                 the
                 flame
                 be
                 scorched
                 ,
                 my
                 fire-worke
                 will
                 bee
                 secured
                 ,
                 though
                 with
                 paper-squibs
                 onely
                 sconced
                 .
              
               
                 If
                 Time
                 should
                 pray
                 for
                 thee
                 ,
                 I
                 thinke
                 thou
                 wouldst
                 not
                 thanke
                 mee
                 ;
                 yet
                 I
                 will
                 offer
                 a
                 few
                 orisons
                 up
                 for
                 thee
                 ,
                 for
                 I
                 doubt
                 thou
                 canst
                 offer
                 none
                 for
                 thy selfe
                 .
                 Leave
                 me
                 that
                 s●…uffing
                 ,
                 and
                 fall
                 to
                 sighing
                 ;
                 thou
                 art
                 neare
                 thy
                 grave
                 ,
                 and
                 then
                 thou
                 shalt
                 bee
                 smoakt
                 for
                 thy
                 vaine
                 time
                 ▪
                 Receive
                 my
                 teares
                 ,
                 
                 as
                 testimonies
                 of
                 my
                 love
                 (
                 for
                 ill
                 is
                 that
                 nature
                 that
                 sends
                 them
                 forth
                 in
                 hate
                 :
                 )
                 meane
                 time
                 ,
                 these
                 succinct
                 Cautions
                 I
                 dedicate
                 ,
                 as
                 remembrances
                 to
                 all
                 the
                 world
                 ;
                 that
                 when
                 Time
                 shal
                 surcease
                 to
                 bee
                 ,
                 and
                 shall
                 leave
                 them
                 ,
                 Time-lesse
                 Eternitie
                 may
                 afterwards
                 crowne
                 them
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 TIMES
                 remembrances
                 to
                 the
                 world
                 .
              
               
                 LIve
                 in
                 the
                 world
                 ,
                 as
                 if
                 thou
                 meantst
                 to
                 leave
                 it
                 ,
                 being
                 indifferent
                 of
                 loving
                 it
                 ,
                 and
                 resolved
                 to
                 despise
                 it
                 .
              
               
                 In
                 honour
                 ,
                 seeke
                 it
                 not
                 ;
                 for
                 seldome
                 is
                 honour
                 sought
                 by
                 deserts
                 :
                 if
                 shee
                 may
                 by
                 direct
                 courses
                 bee
                 purchased
                 ,
                 &
                 without
                 appearance
                 of
                 thine
                 owne
                 seeking
                 ,
                 receive
                 her
                 :
                 Gold
                 should
                 bee
                 taken
                 ,
                 if
                 offered
                 .
                 In
                 riches
                 ,
                 bee
                 not
                 so
                 prodigall
                 ,
                 as
                 thine
                 owne
                 expence
                 may
                 breed
                 want
                 ;
                 or
                 so
                 miserable
                 ,
                 as
                 thou
                 canst
                 not
                 use
                 thine
                 owne
                 .
                 In
                 life
                 ,
                 prepare
                 for
                 death
                 :
                 in
                 time
                 ,
                 for
                 eternitie
                 of
                 time
                 ;
                 that
                 when
                 thy
                 being
                 is
                 expired
                 here
                 ,
                 thou
                 mayest
                 live
                 ever
                 elsewhere
                 .
                 In
                 eminent
                 places
                 ,
                 let
                 not
                 the
                 object
                 of
                 Earth
                 darken
                 thine
                 eye
                 for
                 Heaven
                 :
                 for
                 Time
                 had
                 rather
                 bee
                 a
                 poore
                 sojournour
                 twixt
                 Earth
                 and
                 Heaven
                 ,
                 than
                 by
                 being
                 great
                 on
                 Earth
                 ,
                 lose
                 my
                 portion
                 of
                 greatnesse
                 in
                 Heaven
                 .
              
               
                 In
                 thy
                 rising
                 ,
                 looke
                 to
                 the
                 staires
                 of
                 thine
                 ascending
                 :
                 if
                 the
                 foundation
                 be
                 desert
                 ,
                 thou
                 mayest
                 (
                 perhaps
                 )
                 continue
                 
                 longer
                 ;
                 but
                 if
                 desertlesse
                 high
                 ,
                 I
                 feare
                 Ph●…tons
                 pride
                 will
                 bee
                 thy
                 censure
                 .
                 Set
                 an
                 houre-glasse
                 ever
                 beside
                 thee
                 ,
                 and
                 weepe
                 at
                 everie
                 drop
                 of
                 sand
                 that
                 fals
                 ;
                 for
                 everie
                 drop
                 of
                 sand
                 abridges
                 of
                 the
                 number
                 of
                 thy
                 dayes
                 :
                 wish
                 not
                 thine
                 houre-glasse
                 soone
                 spent
                 ,
                 unlesse
                 thy
                 fervencie
                 in
                 desire
                 of
                 dissolution
                 ,
                 take
                 thee
                 from
                 the
                 thought
                 of
                 mortalitie
                 ,
                 to
                 the
                 consideration
                 of
                 glorie
                 .
                 Happily
                 are
                 thy
                 desires
                 extended
                 ,
                 if
                 thus
                 disposed
                 ;
                 and
                 Time
                 ,
                 which
                 in
                 thy
                 happy
                 expence
                 of
                 Time
                 did
                 love
                 thee
                 ,
                 shall
                 in
                 thy
                 possession
                 of
                 Eternitie
                 ,
                 leave
                 thee
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 NEPENTHIACI
                 Naenia
                 :
                 OR
                 ,
                 MUSAEUS
                 Elegie
                 .
              
               
                 
                   Ista
                   liquescens
                   pluvia
                   ,
                   lavet
                   peccati
                   diluvia
                   .
                
                 
                   DRe●…ch
                   thy
                   drie
                   soule
                   in
                   rivolets
                   of
                   teares
                   ;
                
                 
                   Em●…athe
                   thy
                   panting
                   heart
                   in
                   flouds
                   of
                   griefe
                   ;
                
                 
                   Enhearse
                   thy
                   sable
                   soule
                   in
                   lasting
                   feares
                   ;
                
                 
                   Enroule
                   thy selfe
                   amongst
                   all
                   mourners
                   chiefe
                   :
                
                 
                   Water
                   thy
                   bed
                   with
                   pe●…etentiall
                   showers
                   ,
                
                 
                   And
                   for
                   wilde
                   weeds
                   bring
                   forth
                   delicious
                   flowers
                   .
                
                 
                   "
                   For
                   never
                   did
                   the
                   Sun
                   yet
                   shine
                   upon
                
                 
                   "
                   That
                   wretch
                   ,
                   who
                   sinned
                   more
                   than
                   thou
                   hast
                   done
                   .
                
              
               
                 FINIS
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 In
                 a
                 little
                 Tract
                 ,
                 entitled
                 Tobacco
                 :
                 
                 published
                 by
                 especiall
                 direction
                 of
                 the
                 Author
                 upon
                 his
                 death-bed
                 ,
                 dedicated
                 to
                 
                   Humphrey
                   King
                
                 ,
                 one
                 well
                 experienced
                 in
                 the
                 use
                 ,
                 benefit
                 ,
                 and
                 practice
                 of
                 that
                 herbe
                 ,
                 and
                 printed
                 for
                 
                   Will.
                   Barlow
                
                 (
                 with
                 Tobacco
                 Armes
                 )
                 then
                 keeping
                 shop
                 in
                 
                   Gracious
                   street
                
                 :
                 wee
                 have
                 collected
                 these
                 observations
                 .
              
               
                 
                   The
                   divers●…ie
                   of
                   names
                   given
                   to
                   this
                   Herbe
                   .
                
                 
                   THis
                   Herbe
                   with
                   the
                   French
                   hath
                   beene
                   most
                   known
                   by
                   the
                   name
                   of
                   Nicotiana
                   ,
                   from
                   
                     Mounsieur
                     Nicot
                  
                   a
                   Frenchman
                   ,
                   Embassadour
                   to
                   the
                   King
                   of
                   Portugall
                   ,
                   who
                   sent
                   this
                   herbe
                   first
                   into
                   France
                   .
                
                 
                   Others
                   have
                   called
                   it
                   ,
                   
                     Queene
                     mothers
                     herbe
                  
                   ;
                   for
                   that
                   when
                   Mounsieur
                   
                   Nic●…t
                   had
                   sent
                   it
                   ,
                   commended
                   to
                   her
                   ,
                   she
                   first
                   planted
                   it
                   .
                
                 
                   Others
                   there
                   want
                   not
                   ,
                   which
                   call
                   it
                   
                     Petum
                     Masculine
                  
                   ,
                   though
                   far
                   different
                   in
                   qualitie
                   and
                   effect
                   ,
                   from
                   that
                   the
                   Portugals
                   and
                   Spanyards
                   have
                   called
                   
                     Petum
                     Feminine
                  
                   .
                
                 
                   *
                   Tobacco
                   first
                   sent
                   from
                   Florida
                   to
                   Portugall
                   ,
                   by
                   the
                   testimony
                   of
                   
                     Mounsicur
                     Nicot
                  
                   ,
                   a
                   serious
                   and
                   exact
                   searcher
                   of
                   ancient
                   Records
                   .
                
              
               
                 
                   The
                   Authors
                   which
                   have
                   most
                   amply
                   writ
                   of
                   it
                   .
                
                 
                   
                     two
                     French-men
                     .
                     
                       
                         Charles
                         Stephen
                         ,
                      
                       
                         Iohn
                         Liebault
                         ,
                      
                    
                  
                   
                     
                       Aegidius
                       Eurartus
                    
                     ,
                     and
                  
                   
                     Monardes
                     ,
                     a
                     Spanyard
                     .
                  
                
              
               
                 
                   The
                   effects
                   or
                   operations
                   of
                   it
                   .
                
                 
                   
                     MOunsieur
                     Nico●…
                  
                   finding
                   sundry
                   soveraigne
                   qualities
                   in
                   it
                   ,
                   amongst
                   other
                   cures
                   applide
                   it
                   to
                   a
                   
                     Noli
                     me
                     tangere
                  
                   ,
                   and
                   cur'd
                   it
                   .
                   His
                   Patient
                   was
                   Countesse
                   of
                   Ruffe
                   ,
                   having
                   her
                   face
                   perished
                   with
                   a
                   wart
                   .
                
                 
                   The
                   like
                   experiments
                   were
                   done
                   by
                   Iarnick●…
                   Governour
                   of
                   Rochell
                   ;
                   reporting
                   at
                   a
                   solemne
                   feast
                   ,
                   how
                   by
                   distilling
                   
                   this
                   Tobacco
                   ,
                   mixt
                   with
                   the
                   juyce
                   of
                   another
                   little
                   herbe
                   ,
                   casually
                   found
                   in
                   the
                   wood
                   ,
                   he
                   had
                   cured
                   one
                   extremely
                   pained
                   with
                   the
                   Asthma
                   .
                
                 
                   It
                   hath
                   healed
                   these
                   diseases
                   ;
                   the
                   Wolfe
                   ,
                   Canker
                   ,
                   Kings
                   Evill
                   ,
                   all
                   old
                   sores
                   ,
                   wounds
                   ,
                   Tetters
                   ,
                   broad
                   biles
                   ,
                   pricking
                   of
                   the
                   Fish
                   called
                   Vives
                   (
                   the
                   nature
                   of
                   whose
                   touch
                   is
                   to
                   procure
                   infinite
                   bleeding
                   ,
                   even
                   to
                   death
                   :
                   )
                   the
                   Gout
                   being
                   rubbed
                   in
                   the
                   infected
                   place
                   with
                   oyle-olive
                   ,
                   and
                   afterwards
                   by
                   applying
                   warme
                   leaves
                   of
                   Tobacco
                   ,
                   hath
                   beene
                   much
                   allayed
                   .
                
                 
                   It
                   hath
                   cleared
                   the
                   sight
                   ,
                   and
                   cured
                   one
                   long
                   languishing
                   in
                   a
                   consumption
                   ,
                   which
                   I
                   could
                   instance
                   in
                   a
                   Lady
                   of
                   good
                   account
                   ,
                   at
                   this
                   day
                   living
                   .
                
                 
                   
                     Aegidius
                     Eurartus
                     ▪
                  
                   in
                   his
                   Discourse
                   
                     De
                     herba
                     Panac●…a
                  
                   ,
                   writeth
                   ,
                   how
                   a
                   certaine
                   woman
                   had
                   given
                   her
                   Cat
                   a
                   verie
                   strong
                   poyson
                   ;
                   when
                   the
                   poore
                   Cat
                   was
                   in
                   that
                   taking
                   ,
                   that
                   she
                   could
                   not
                   stand
                   with
                   dizinesse
                   ,
                   and
                   strived
                   to
                   voyd
                   forth
                   the
                   poyson
                   in
                   vaine
                   ;
                   the
                   woman
                   remembring
                   her selfe
                   ,
                   found
                   meanes
                   to
                   open
                   her
                   jawes
                   ,
                   and
                   making
                   a
                   little
                   ball
                   of
                   bruized
                   Tobacco
                   ,
                   mingled
                   with
                   butter
                   ,
                   to
                   make
                   it
                   goe
                   downe
                   
                   the
                   better
                   ,
                   thrust
                   it
                   into
                   her
                   mouth
                   ,
                   and
                   so
                   swallowing
                   it
                   downe
                   ,
                   within
                   a
                   short
                   time
                   shee
                   cast
                   up
                   all
                   the
                   poyson
                   ,
                   and
                   so
                   was
                   saved
                   .
                
                 
                   It
                   will
                   cure
                   all
                   pimples
                   ,
                   carbuncles
                   ,
                   and
                   other
                   red
                   excrements
                   ,
                   called
                   Alebuttons
                   .
                
                 
                   The
                   Spanyards
                   report
                   ,
                   that
                   the
                   Indians
                   ,
                   after
                   their
                   labour
                   and
                   travell
                   ,
                   drinke
                   unmeasurably
                   Tobacco
                   ;
                   which
                   not
                   onely
                   refresheth
                   them
                   ,
                   and
                   takes
                   away
                   their
                   wearinesse
                   ,
                   but
                   makes
                   them
                   apt
                   and
                   prompt
                   to
                   businesse
                   .
                
              
               
                 
                   The
                   description
                   of
                   it
                   .
                
                 
                   THis
                   herbe
                   in
                   forme
                   much
                   resembleth
                   Consond●…
                   .
                   The
                   figure
                   or
                   Proportion
                   of
                   it
                   ,
                   you
                   shall
                   finde
                   drawne
                   in
                   the
                   same
                   Tract
                   .
                
                 
                   The
                   maine
                   stalke
                   of
                   Tobacco
                   groweth
                   upright
                   ,
                   and
                   big
                   in
                   proportion
                   ,
                   his
                   leaves
                   are
                   velveted
                   ,
                   and
                   are
                   in
                   growth
                   bigger
                   and
                   larger
                   at
                   the
                   stalke
                   than
                   towards
                   the
                   end
                   of
                   the
                   leafe
                   ;
                   resembling
                   the
                   plaine
                   forme
                   ,
                   figure
                   ,
                   or
                   feature
                   of
                   any
                   other
                   leafe
                   not
                   ragged
                   nor
                   indented
                   ,
                   save
                   that
                   you
                   shall
                   have
                   some
                   leaves
                   broader
                   and
                   larger
                   than
                   both
                   your
                   hands
                   ,
                   and
                   in
                   length
                   ▪
                   as
                   
                   much
                   as
                   three
                   hands
                   breadth
                   .
                
                 
                   The
                   flower
                   of
                   the
                   Tobacco
                   is
                   much
                   like
                   the
                   flower
                   of
                   Niel
                   ;
                   sometimes
                   yellow
                   ,
                   and
                   sometimes
                   of
                   a
                   Carnation
                   colour
                   ,
                   and
                   sometimes
                   in
                   forme
                   like
                   a
                   Bell.
                   
                
                 
                   And
                   when
                   it
                   casteth
                   the
                   flower
                   ,
                   it
                   leaves
                   the
                   former
                   proportion
                   ,
                   &
                   taketh
                   the
                   semblance
                   of
                   an
                   Apple
                   ;
                   in
                   which
                   you
                   may
                   find
                   the
                   seeds
                   inclosed
                   very
                   small
                   ,
                   appearing
                   not
                   much
                   unlike
                   to
                   Iusquiasme
                   seeds
                   ,
                   which
                   are
                   yellowish
                   :
                   but
                   when
                   they
                   grow
                   toward
                   their
                   full
                   ripenesse
                   ,
                   then
                   they
                   appeare
                   more
                   near
                   to
                   a
                   blacke
                   .
                
              
               
                 
                   The
                   convenientst
                   season
                   for
                   sowing
                   it
                   .
                
                 
                   FOr
                   the
                   time
                   of
                   sowing
                   it
                   in
                   England
                   ;
                   I
                   agree
                   rather
                   with
                   Monardes
                   than
                   these
                   two
                   ,
                   who
                   say
                   it
                   is
                   best
                   sowing
                   it
                   in
                   the
                   midst
                   of
                   Aprill
                   ;
                   but
                   I
                   would
                   rather
                   hold
                   it
                   better
                   to
                   sow
                   it
                   in
                   March
                   ,
                   for
                   the
                   same
                   occasion
                   that
                   Monardes
                   writeth
                   :
                   howbeit
                   ,
                   Stephen
                   and
                   Liebault
                   write
                   ,
                   that
                   the
                   Spaniards
                   and
                   Indians
                   sow
                   it
                   after
                   harvest
                   .
                
              
               
                 
                   The
                   convenientst
                   season
                   for
                   gathring
                   it
                   .
                
                 
                   
                     LEo
                     Suavius
                  
                   wils
                   that
                   we
                   should
                   
                   gather
                   the
                   leaves
                   in
                   the
                   moneth
                   of
                   Iuly
                   ;
                   and
                   then
                   bruise
                   and
                   distill
                   them
                   in
                   a
                   double
                   Limbecke
                   ,
                   with
                   two
                   Emissories
                   or
                   Spouts
                   of
                   glasse
                   ,
                   and
                   keepe
                   this
                   a
                   yeere
                   :
                   for
                   (
                   saith
                   he
                   )
                   this
                   received
                   to
                   the
                   quantity
                   of
                   an
                   Ounce
                   ,
                   for
                   the
                   increasing
                   of
                   health
                   in
                   a
                   sicke
                   or
                   waterish
                   stomacke
                   ,
                   is
                   most
                   effectuall
                   .
                
              
               
                 
                   The
                   convenientst
                   Soyle
                   for
                   increase
                   of
                   it
                   .
                
                 
                   THe
                   best
                   place
                   wherein
                   it
                   will
                   most
                   prosper
                   ,
                   and
                   be
                   naturally
                   planted
                   in
                   our
                   countries
                   ,
                   is
                   ,
                   where
                   the
                   Sunne
                   shineth
                   most
                   ;
                   and
                   if
                   it
                   be
                   possible
                   ,
                   against
                   some
                   wall
                   ,
                   which
                   may
                   defend
                   it
                   from
                   the
                   North-wind
                   ,
                   which
                   is
                   an
                   infinite
                   enemy
                   to
                   this
                   herbe
                   ;
                   being
                   so
                   tender
                   in
                   stalke
                   ,
                   nature
                   and
                   quality
                   ,
                   as
                   it
                   may
                   endure
                   no
                   distemper
                   ,
                   nor
                   extremity
                   .
                
                 
                   It
                   is
                   hot
                   and
                   dry
                   in
                   the
                   second
                   degree
                   ;
                   
                   and
                   consequently
                   of
                   a
                   purging
                   quality
                   ;
                   but
                   fit
                   for
                   persons
                   of
                   all
                   degrees
                   ,
                   upon
                   necessity
                   .
                
              
               
                 FINIS
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 TIMES
                 Sonnet
                 .
              
               
                 
                   SWeet
                   Youth
                   ,
                   Smoake
                   not
                   thy
                   time
                   ,
                
                 
                   Too
                   precious
                   to
                   abuse
                   ;
                
                 
                   Th'
                   ast
                   fitter
                   feats
                   to
                   choose
                   :
                
                 
                   What
                   may
                   redeeme
                   that
                   prime
                   ,
                
                 
                   Thy
                   SMOAKING
                   AGE
                   doth
                   loose
                   ?
                
              
               
                 
                   Good
                   Oldman
                   ,
                   eye
                   thy
                   Glasse
                   ,
                
                 
                   See
                   ,
                   how
                   those
                   Sands
                   doe
                   fall
                   !
                
                 
                   None
                   can
                   agraine
                   recall
                   :
                
                 
                   Old
                   houres
                   doe
                   quickly
                   passe
                   ,
                
                 
                   Shall
                   SMOAKE
                   consume
                   them
                   all
                   ?
                
              
               
                 
                   Loves
                   Lady
                   ,
                   whom
                   Sunne
                   ,
                   Weather
                   ,
                
                 
                   Yea
                   ,
                   the
                   least
                   airy
                   touch
                   ,
                
                 
                   (
                   Complexion
                   it
                   is
                   such
                   )
                
                 
                   May
                   taint
                   ;
                   cinge
                   not
                   your
                   feather
                   ,
                
                 
                   TOBACCO
                   may
                   doe
                   much
                   .
                
              
               
                 
                   Shunne
                   SMOAKE
                   ,
                   East
                   ,
                   VVest
                   ,
                   North
                   ,
                   South
                   ,
                
                 
                   LOVES
                   LADY
                   ,
                   OLD
                   MAN
                   ,
                   YOUTH
                   .
                
              
            
          
        
      
       
         
           
             
             
               CHAVCERS
               incensed
               Ghost
               .
            
             
               
                 FRom
                 the
                 frequented
                 Path
                 where
                 Mortals
                 tread
                 ,
              
               
                 Old-aged
                 CHAVCER
                 having
                 long
                 retir'd
                 ,
              
               
                 Now
                 to
                 revisit
                 Earth
                 at
                 last
                 desir'd
                 ,
              
               
                 Hath
                 from
                 the
                 dead
                 rais'd
                 his
                 impalled
                 head
                 ,
              
               
                 Of
                 purpose
                 to
                 converse
                 with
                 humane
                 seed
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 taxe
                 them
                 too
                 ,
                 for
                 bringing
                 him
                 o'
                 th
                 Stage
              
               
                 In
                 writing
                 that
                 He
                 knew
                 not
                 in
                 his
                 age
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Las
                 ;
                 is
                 it
                 fit
                 the
                 stories
                 of
                 that
                 Book
                 ,
              
               
                 Couch'd
                 and
                 compil'd
                 in
                 such
                 a
                 various
                 forme
                 ;
              
               
                 Which
                 Art
                 and
                 Nature
                 joyntly
                 did
                 adorne
                 ,
              
               
                 On
                 whose
                 quaint
                 Tales
                 succeeding
                 ages
                 look
                 ,
              
               
                 Should
                 now
                 lie
                 stifled
                 in
                 the
                 steems
                 of
                 Smoak
                 ,
              
               
                 As
                 if
                 no
                 Poets
                 Genius
                 could
                 be
                 ripe
              
               
                 Without
                 the
                 influence
                 of
                 Pot
                 and
                 Pipe
                 ?
              
            
             
               
                 No
                 ,
                 no
                 ,
                 yee
                 
                   English
                   Moo●…s
                
                 ,
                 my
                 Muse
                 was
                 fed
              
               
                 With
                 purer
                 substance
                 than
                 your
                 Indian
                 weede
                 ;
              
               
                 My
                 breathing
                 Nosethrils
                 were
                 from
                 Vapors
                 freede
                 ,
              
               
                 With
                 Nectar
                 and
                 Ambrosia
                 nourished
                 ,
              
               
                 While
                 Hospitality
                 so
                 flourished
              
               
                 In
                 Great
                 mens
                 Kitchins
                 :
                 where
                 I
                 now
                 suppose
                 ,
              
               
                 Lesse
                 Smoake
                 comes
                 from
                 their
                 Chimneyes
                 than
                 their
                 nos●…
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 But
                 I
                 heare
                 some
                 prepar'd
                 to
                 question
                 mee
                 ,
              
               
                 The
                 reason
                 why
                 I
                 am
                 so
                 freely
                 bent
              
               
                 In
                 such
                 sad
                 straines
                 to
                 publish
                 my
                 complaint
                 ;
              
               
                 Or
                 what
                 strict
                 Mamothrept
                 that
                 man
                 should
                 bee
                 ,
              
               
                 Who
                 h
                 'as
                 done
                 Ch●…ucer
                 such
                 an
                 injurie
                 ;
              
               
                 Whose
                 tongue
                 ,
                 though
                 weake
                 ,
                 yet
                 is
                 his
                 heart
                 as
                 strong
                 ,
              
               
                 To
                 call
                 them
                 to
                 account
                 that
                 did
                 him
                 wrong
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 I
                 'le
                 tell
                 it
                 yee
                 ,
                 and
                 must
                 expect
                 redresse
                 ;
              
               
                 Would
                 any
                 of
                 you
                 hold
                 it
                 not
                 a
                 blot
              
               
                 To
                 father
                 such
                 a
                 Brat
                 hee
                 never
                 got
                 ?
              
               
                 Or
                 would
                 he
                 not
                 ingenuously
                 confesse
                 ,
              
               
                 Hee
                 'd
                 rather
                 wish
                 himselfe
                 quite
                 issuelesse
                 ?
              
               
                 Conceive
                 this
                 well
                 ;
                 for
                 if
                 it
                 be
                 a
                 crime
                 ,
              
               
                 As
                 sure
                 it
                 is
                 ,
                 such
                 is
                 the
                 case
                 of
                 mine
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Downe
                 by
                 a
                 secret
                 Vault
                 as
                 I
                 descended
                 ,
              
               
                 Pent
                 in
                 with
                 darknesse
                 save
                 some
                 little
                 ray
                 ,
              
               
                 Which
                 by
                 a
                 private
                 cranie
                 made
                 his
                 way
                 ,
              
               
                 By
                 helpe
                 whereof
                 I
                 saw
                 what
                 me
                 offended
                 ,
              
               
                 Yet
                 found
                 no
                 meanes
                 to
                 have
                 the
                 fault
                 amended
                 .
              
               
                 Fixt
                 to
                 a
                 Post
                 ,
                 (
                 such
                 was
                 poore
                 Chaucers
                 lot
                 )
              
               
                 I
                 found
                 my
                 name
                 to
                 that
                 I
                 never
                 wrot
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 And
                 what
                 might
                 be
                 the
                 Subject
                 ?
                 no
                 relation
              
               
                 Sad
                 ,
                 solid
                 ,
                 serious
                 ,
                 morall
                 ,
                 or
                 divine
                 ,
              
               
                 Which
                 sorted
                 with
                 the
                 humours
                 of
                 my
                 time
                 ,
              
               
                 But
                 a
                 late
                 Negro's
                 introduced
                 fashion
                 ,
              
               
                 Who
                 brought
                 his
                 Drugs
                 here
                 to
                 corrupt
                 our
                 Nation
                 .
              
               
                 'Gainst
                 which
                 ,
                 because
                 it
                 's
                 used
                 in
                 excesse
                 ,
              
               
                 My
                 Muse
                 must
                 mount
                 ,
                 that
                 she
                 may
                 it
                 suppresse
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Now
                 some
                 may
                 well
                 object
                 ,
                 as
                 many
                 will
                 ,
              
               
                 This
                 Taske
                 addes
                 rather
                 glory
                 to
                 my
                 name
                 ,
              
               
                 Than
                 any
                 way
                 seemes
                 to
                 impaire
                 the
                 same
                 ;
              
               
                 But
                 I
                 say
                 no
                 ;
                 Chaucer
                 would
                 thinke
                 it
                 ill
              
               
                 To
                 plant
                 Tobacco
                 on
                 Parnassus
                 hill
                 ;
              
               
                 Sacred
                 the
                 Synod
                 of
                 the
                 Muses
                 bee
                 ,
              
               
                 Nor
                 can
                 such
                 W●…eds
                 spring
                 from
                 Apollo's
                 tree
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Besides
                 ,
                 what
                 danger
                 might
                 Prescription
                 bring
                 !
              
               
                 For
                 had
                 the
                 use
                 of
                 it
                 been
                 knowne
                 to
                 me
                 ,
              
               
                 It
                 might
                 have
                 pleaded
                 well
                 antiquitie
                 ;
              
               
                 But
                 th'
                 Poets
                 of
                 my
                 time
                 knew
                 no
                 such
                 thing
                 ,
              
               
                 How
                 could
                 they
                 then
                 of
                 such
                 a
                 subject
                 sing
                 ?
              
               
                 No
                 ;
                 th'age
                 we
                 liv'd
                 was
                 form'd
                 of
                 milder
                 stuffe
                 ,
              
               
                 Then
                 to
                 take
                 ought
                 ,
                 like
                 Male
                 contents
                 ,
                 in
                 snuffe
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 Pure
                 are
                 the
                 Crystall
                 streames
                 of
                 Hippocrene
                 ;
              
               
                 Choice
                 the
                 dimensions
                 which
                 her
                 Bards
                 expresse
                 ;
              
               
                 Cleare
                 is
                 their
                 heart
                 as
                 th'
                 Are
                 which
                 they
                 professe
                 ;
              
               
                 How
                 should
                 they
                 relish
                 then
                 ought
                 that
                 's
                 uncleane
                 ,
              
               
                 Or
                 waste
                 their
                 oyle
                 about
                 a
                 Smoaky
                 dreame
                 ?
              
               
                 Farre
                 bee
                 't
                 Minerva
                 should
                 consume
                 her
                 Taper
              
               
                 In
                 giving
                 life
                 or
                 lustre
                 to
                 a
                 Vapor
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 The
                 *
                 TALES
                 I
                 told
                 ,
                 if
                 morally
                 applide
                 ,
              
               
                 How
                 light
                 soe're
                 ,
                 or
                 wanton
                 to
                 the
                 show
                 ,
              
               
                 Yet
                 they
                 in
                 very
                 deed
                 were
                 nothing
                 so
                 ;
              
               
                 For
                 were
                 the
                 marke
                 they
                 aym'd
                 at
                 but
                 descride
                 ,
              
               
                 Even
                 in
                 these
                 dayes
                 they
                 would
                 be
                 verifide
                 ;
              
               
                 And
                 like
                 Sybillas
                 Oracles
                 esteem'd
                 ,
              
               
                 Worth
                 worlds
                 of
                 wealth
                 ,
                 how
                 light
                 soe're
                 they
                 seem'd
                 ▪
              
            
             
               
                 Witnesse
                 my
                 Miller
                 ,
                 and
                 my
                 Carpenter
                 ,
              
               
                 The
                 amorous
                 stories
                 of
                 my
                 Wife
                 of
                 Bath
                 ,
              
               
                 Which
                 such
                 variety
                 of
                 humours
                 hath
                 ;
              
               
                 My
                 
                   Priour
                   ,
                   Manciple
                
                 ,
                 and
                 Almoner
                 ,
              
               
                 My
                 subtile
                 Sumner
                 ,
                 and
                 the
                 Messenger
                 ;
              
               
                 All
                 which
                 ,
                 though
                 moulded
                 in
                 another
                 age
                 ,
              
               
                 Have
                 rais'd
                 new
                 Subjects
                 both
                 for
                 Presse
                 and
                 Stage
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Yet
                 note
                 these
                 times
                 disrelishing
                 my
                 tongue
                 ,
              
               
                 Whose
                 Idioms-distaste
                 by
                 nicer
                 men
              
               
                 Hath
                 made
                 me
                 mince
                 it
                 like
                 a
                 Citizen
                 !
              
               
                 Which
                 Chaucer
                 holds
                 a
                 manifest
                 wrong
                 ,
              
               
                 To
                 force
                 him
                 leave
                 what
                 he
                 had
                 us'd
                 so
                 long
                 :
              
               
                 Yea
                 ,
                 he
                 dislikes
                 this
                 polishing
                 of
                 Art
                 ,
              
               
                 Which
                 may
                 refine
                 the
                 Core
                 ,
                 but
                 spoiles
                 the
                 heart
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 But
                 yet
                 in
                 serious
                 sadnesse
                 I
                 impute
              
               
                 This
                 to
                 no
                 fate
                 or
                 destiny
                 of
                 mine
                 ,
              
               
                 But
                 to
                 the
                 barraine
                 Brain-wormes
                 of
                 this
                 time
                 ;
              
               
                 Whose
                 Muse
                 lesse
                 pregnant
                 ,
                 present
                 or
                 acute
                 ,
              
               
                 Affording
                 nought
                 that
                 with
                 the
                 age
                 may
                 sute
                 ,
              
               
                 Like
                 to
                 the
                 truant
                 Bee
                 ,
                 or
                 Lazie
                 Drone
                 ,
              
               
                 Robb●…
                 other
                 Bee-hives
                 of
                 their
                 hony-combe
                 .
              
            
             
               
               
                 And
                 which
                 is
                 worse
                 ,
                 this
                 Worke
                 they
                 make
                 their
                 owne
                 ,
              
               
                 Which
                 they
                 have
                 pruned
                 ,
                 purged
                 and
                 refin'd
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 aptly
                 form'd
                 it
                 to
                 the
                 Authors
                 mind
                 ;
              
               
                 When
                 I
                 'm
                 assured
                 ,
                 if
                 the
                 truth
                 were
                 knowne
                 ,
              
               
                 They
                 reape
                 the
                 Crop
                 which
                 was
                 by
                 others
                 sowne
                 .
              
               
                 Yea
                 ,
                 these
                 usurpers
                 to
                 that
                 passe
                 are
                 brought
                 ,
              
               
                 They
                 'l
                 foyst
                 in
                 that
                 wee
                 neither
                 said
                 nor
                 thought
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 This
                 ,
                 This
                 it
                 was
                 incens'd
                 old
                 
                   ●…haucers
                   Ghost
                
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 caus'd
                 him
                 vent
                 his
                 passion
                 in
                 this
                 sort
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 for
                 a
                 while
                 to
                 leave
                 th'
                 ▪
                 Elysian
                 Court
                 ,
              
               
                 Where
                 honest
                 Authors
                 are
                 esteemed
                 most
                 ;
              
               
                 But
                 such
                 as
                 on
                 the
                 Deadmans
                 Labours
                 boast
              
               
                 Excluded
                 are
                 ,
                 enjoyn'd
                 by
                 Fate
                 to
                 won
              
               
                 Vpon
                 the
                 scorching
                 Banks
                 of
                 Phlegeton
                 .
              
            
             
               
                 Yee
                 then
                 ,
                 whose
                 measures
                 merit
                 well
                 the
                 Name
              
               
                 And
                 Title
                 yee
                 retaine
                 ,
                 Poets
                 ,
                 I
                 meane
                 ,
              
               
                 Bedew'd
                 with
                 influence
                 from
                 Hippocrene
                 ,
              
               
                 As
                 yee
                 Professants
                 seeme
                 ,
                 so
                 be
                 the
                 same
                 ,
              
               
                 And
                 with
                 your
                 owne
                 Pennes
                 eternize
                 your
                 fame
                 ;
              
               
                 Shun
                 these
                 Pipe-Pageants
                 ;
                 for
                 there
                 seldome
                 come
              
               
                 Tobacco-Factors
                 to
                 Elysium
                 .
              
            
             
               FINIS
               .
            
          
        
      
    
     
       
         Notes, typically marginal, from the original text
         
           Notes for div A16679-e2940
           
             The
             Apothecaries
             speech
             .
          
           
             Chap
             ▪
             3.
             
          
           
             Chap.
             4.
             
          
           
             Vid
             Plin
             ▪
             in
             Nat.
             Hist.
             Aelian
             .
             &
             ibid.
             
          
           
             Nihil
             quod
             natum
             est
             ,
             errat
             .
          
           
             Agn●…sco
             (
             inquit
             )
             〈◊〉
             Ca●…thaginis
             .
          
           
             Thus
             still
             (
             mee
             thinks
             )
             I
             heare
             poore
             Time
             complaine
             ,
             And
             chide
             her
             Brats
             ,
             for
             being
             so
             prophane
             .
          
           
             TOBACCO
             .
          
           
             *
             The
             soveraigne
             qualitie
             of
             this
             herbe
             ,
             may
             be
             gathered
             from
             the
             verie
             radicall
             derivative
             of
             it
             :
             drawne
             from
             the
             observance
             of
             a
             most
             judicious
             and
             accomplisht
             Knight
             ,
             one
             ,
             whose
             personall
             worth
             gives
             an
             ●…minent
             addition
             to
             his
             noble
             birth
             :
             For
             
               〈◊〉
               〈◊〉
               〈◊〉
               〈◊〉
               〈◊〉
            
             in
             the
             Hebrew
             signifies
             ●…onum
             ,
             and
             
               〈◊〉
               〈◊〉
               〈◊〉
               〈◊〉
               〈◊〉
            
             in
             Greek
             ,
             Remedium
             ;
             implying
             ,
             that
             it
             is
             a
             good
             remedie
             against
             any
             maladie
             .
          
           
             Thus
             have
             I
             prov'd
             TOBACCo
             good
             or
             ill
             ;
             Good
             ,
             if
             rare
             taken
             ;
             Bad
             ,
             if
             taken
             still
             .
          
        
         
           Notes for div A16679-e8130
           
             *
             Whose
             pleasing
             Comments
             are
             shortly
             to
             bee
             published
             .
          
        
      
    
  

