a divine poem written by mary wells, who recommends it as a fit token for all young men and maids, instead of profane songs and ballads wells, mary, fl. 1684. 1684 approx. 4 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 1 1-bit group-iv tiff page image. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2008-09 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a96183 wing w1296 estc r232342 99897712 99897712 137640 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a96183) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 137640) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 2522:10) a divine poem written by mary wells, who recommends it as a fit token for all young men and maids, instead of profane songs and ballads wells, mary, fl. 1684. 1 sheet ([1] p.) printed by j. astwood, and entred according to order, [london] : 1684. place of publication from wing cd-rom, 1996. identified as w1296, reel 2522 of the umi microfilm set "early english books 1641-1700". cf. wing w1296 which has "written by m.w." in the title and "printed by james astwood" in the imprint. reproduction of original in the british library. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng young men -conduct of life -early works to 1800. young women -conduct of life -early works to 1800. broadsides 2007-06 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2007-06 apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images 2007-11 elspeth healey sampled and proofread 2007-11 elspeth healey text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion a divine poem written by mary wells , who recommends it as a fit token for all young men and maids , instead of profane songs and ballads . ah lord my sins are very great , and my corruptions many ; oh! let me not , i thee intreat , be overcome by any . bow down thine ear unto me , lord , have mercy on my soul , subdue my spiritual enemies , and all my lusts controul . cause me to love the lord above with all my heart and might , and let my conversation be well-pleasing in thy sight . do not condemn my soul , o lord ; but for thy mercy sake , which is both sure and plentiful , some pity on me take . enrich me with thy heavenly grace , endue me with thy spirit ; and let my soul when hence it goes , eternal life inherit . forget me not , i pray thee , lord , but still remember me , that unto all eternity i may give thanks to thee . grant me , that i may never dare to live in any sin ; nor let me not at any time be catch't in satans gin . however thou dost deal with me , give me an upright heart , and let my will submit to thee , and never from thee start . indeed it is to be admir'd , how gracious thou hast bin unto me from my youth till now , though i have liv'd in sin . kindness thou dost bestow on me every day and hour ; yea , every moment , lord , on me thy mercies thou dost pour . lift up my heart unto thee , lord , unto a thankful frame ; and let me ever honour thee , and praise thee for the same . make me think vilely of my self ; shew me the want of grace ; let not the love of any sin within my heart have place . nothing's too hard for thee , o lord , oh! therefore undertake to pluck my strong corruptions down , even for the lord christ's sake . oh ! let not any of my sins come into memory with thee , o lord , but let them be conceal'd eternally . prepare me for eternity , and let my souls lamp be furnished with the oyl of grace , when death shall seize on me . quicken me by thy spirit , lord , when i shall wait on thee in every ordinance of thine , which thou affordest me . remove from me the guilt of sin , and its pollutions too ; and let it be my earnest care all evil to eschew . secure me from eternal death , and let my soul make sure of an inheritance with thee , which ever shall endure . the time which thou affordest me , it 's but a span , o lord ; therefore let me redeem the time which thou dost me afford . vouchsafe to lift mine heart to thee , above all things below , and let it be my earnest care christ crucifi'd to know . whether i live or dye , o lord , let me be wholly thine , and let thy gracious countenance upon me ever shine . ' xamine all my inward wants , supply me with thy grace : let not the love of any sin within my heart have place . yea longer i shall live , o lord , let me still better grow , and let it be my earnest care the lord of life to know . zeal for thine honour give me , lord , and let me holy be ; guide me by thy counsel here , and to glory take thou me . printed by j. astwood , and entred according to order , 1684. the lady's new-years gift, or, advice to a daughter halifax, george savile, marquis of, 1633-1695. 1688 approx. 116 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 86 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2004-03 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a44704 wing h305 estc r26777 09542628 ocm 09542628 43557 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a44704) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 43557) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 1332:28) the lady's new-years gift, or, advice to a daughter halifax, george savile, marquis of, 1633-1695. the second edition corrected by the original. [1], 164 p. printed for matt. gillyflower and james partridge, london : 1688. "under these following heads viz. religion, husband, house and familiy, servants, behaviour and conversation, friendships, censure, vanity and affectation, pride, diversions, dancing." attributed to george savile halifax--wing. reproduction of original in the huntington library. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng young women -conduct of life. 2003-10 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2003-11 spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images 2003-12 rina kor sampled and proofread 2003-12 rina kor text and markup reviewed and edited 2004-02 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion the lady's new-years gift : or , advice to a daughter , under these following heads : viz. religion , husband , house and family . servants , behaviour and conversation , friendships , censure , vanity and affectation , pride . diversions , dancing . the second edition corrected by the original . london , printed for matt. gillyflower in westminster-hall , and james partridge at charing-cross , 1688 advertisement . this book being sent to a scrivener to be copied out , the scrivener surreptitiously took another copy of it for himself , and disposing it to a person that knew not what to do with it , and ignorant of its worth , he sold it us : we getting a licence for it , as a book of an unknown author , put it to the press ; but finding such a multitude of faults in it , as hath made us ashamed and troubled that so excellent a piece ( according to the universal judgment ) should be so mangled and abused , we have made all the haste we could to get the original manuscript it self , which the said person had , and printed this new edition . the reader shall know this right copy from the other by the engraved figure before the title . matthew gillyflower . james partridge . the lady's new-years gift : or , advice to a daughter . introduction . dear daughter , i find , that even our most pleasing thoughts will be unquiet ; they will be in motion ; and the mind can have no rest whilst it is possess'd by a darling passion . you are at present the chief object of my care , as well as of my kindness , which sometimes throweth me into visions of your being happy in the world , that are better suited to my partial wishes , than to my reasonable hopes for you . at other times , when my fears prevail , i shrink as if i were struck at the prospect of danger , to which a young woman must be expos'd . by how much the more lively , so much the more liable you are to be hurt ; as the finest plants are soonest nipped by the frost . whilst you are playing full of innocence , the spiteful world will bite , except you are guarded by your caution . want of care therefore , my dear child , is never to be excus'd ; since , as to this world , it hath the same effect as want of vertue . such an early sprouting wit requireth to be so much the more sheltred by some rules , like something strew'd on tender flowers to preserve them from being blasted . you must take it well to be prun'd by so kind a hand as that of a father . there may be some bitterness in meer obedience : the natural love of liberty may help to make the commands of a parent harder to go down . some inward resistance there will be , where power and not choice maketh us move ; but when a father layeth aside his authority , and persuadeth only by his kindness , you will never answer it to good nature , if it hath not weight with you . a great part of what is said in the following discourse may be above the present growth of your understanding ; but that becoming every day taller , will in a little time reach up to it , so as to make it easie to you . i am willing to begin with you before your mind is quite form'd , that being the time in which it is most capable of receiving a colour that will last when it is mix'd with it . few things are well learnt , but by early precepts : those well infus'd , make them natural ; and we are never sure of retaining what is valuable , till by a continual habit we have made it a piece of us . whether my skill can draw the picture of a fine woman , may be a question ; but it can be none , that i have drawn that of a kind father : if you will take an exact copy , i will so far presume upon my workmanship , as to undertake you shall not make an ill figure , give me so much credit as to try , ●nd i am sure that neither your wishes nor mine shall be disappointed . religion . the first thing to be considered , is religion : it must be the chief object of your thoughts , since it would be a vain thing to direct your behaviour in the world , and forget that which you are to have towards him who made it . in a strict sense , it is the only thing necessary : you must take it into your mind , and thence throw it into your heart , where you are to embrace it so close , as never to lose the possession of it . but then it is necessary to distinguish between the reality and the pretence . religion doth not consist in believing the legend of the nursery , where children with their milk are fed with the tales of witches , hobgoblins , prophecies , and miracles . we suck in so greedily these early mistakes , that our riper understanding hath much ado to cleanse our minds from this kind of trash : the stories are so entertaining , that we do not only believe them , but relate them ; which makes the discovery of the truth somewhat grievous , when it makes us lose such a field of impertinence , where we might have diverted our selves , besides the shame thrown upon us for having ever receiv'd them . this is making the world a feast , and imputing to god almighty , that the province he assigneth to the devil , is to play at blind-mans-buff , and shew tricks with mankind ; and is so far from being religion , that it is not sense , and hath right only to be call'd that kind of devotion , of which , ignorance is the undoubted mother , without competition or dispute . these mistakes are therefore to be left off with your hanging-sleeves ; and you ought to be as much out of countenance to be found with them about you , as to be seen playing with babies , at an age when other things are expected from you . the next thing to be observ'd to you , is , that religion doth as little consist in loud answers and devout convulsions at church , or praying in an extraordinary manner . some ladies are so extreme stirring at church , one would swear the worm in their conscience made them so unquiet . others will have such a divided face between a devout goggle and an inviting glance , that the unnatural mixture maketh even their best looks to be at that time ridiculous . these affected appearances are ever suspected , like very strong perfumes , which are generally thought no very good symptoms in those that make use of them . let your earnestness therefore be reserv'd for your closet , where you may have god almighty to your self : in publick be still and calm , neither indecently careless , or affected in the other extream . it is not true devotion , to put on an angry zeal against those who may be of a differing persuasion . partiality to our selves makes us often mistake it for a duty , to fall hard upon others in that case ; and being push'd on with self-conceit , we strike without mercy , believing that the wounds we give are meritorious , and that we are fighting god almighty's quarrel ; when the truth is , we are only setting out our selves . our devotion too often breaketh out into that shape which most agreeth with our particular temper . the cholerick grow into a hardned severity against all who dissent from them , snatch at all the texts of scripture that suit with their complexion ; and because god's wrath was some time kindled , they conclude , that anger is a divine vertue ; and are so far from imagining that their ill-natur'd zeal requireth an apology , that they value themselves upon it , & triumph in it . others , whose nature is more credulousthan ordinary , admit no bounds or measures to it ; they grow as proud of extending their faith , as princes are of enlarging their dominions ; not considering , that our faith , like our stomach , is capable of being over-charg-d ; and that as the last is destroy'd by taking in more than it can digest , so our reason may be extinguish'd by oppressing it with the weight of too many strange things ; especially if we are forbidden to chew what we are commanded to swallow . the melancholy and the sullen are apt to place a great part of their religion in dejected and ill-humour'd looks , putting on an unsociable face , and declaiming against the innocent entertainments of life , with as much sharpness as they could bestow upon the greatest crimes . this generally is only a vizard , there is seldom any thing real in it . no other thing is the better for being sowre ; and it would be hard that religion should be so , which is the best of things . in the mean time it may be said with truth , that this surly kind of devotion hath perhaps done little less hurt in the world , by frighting , than the most scandalous examples have done by infecting it . having told you , in these few instances , to which many more might have been added , what is not true religion ; it is time to describe to you ; what is so . the ordinary definitions are no more like it , than the common sign-posts are like the princes they would represent ; the unskilful dawbers in all ages have generally laid on such ill colours , and drawn such harsh lines , that the beauty of it is not easily to be discover'd : they have put in all the forbidding features that can be thought of ; and in the first place , have made it an irreconcileable enemy to nature ; when , in reality , they are not only friends , but twins , born together at the same time ; and it is doing violence to them both , to go about to have them separated . nothing is so kind and so inviting as true and unsophisticated religion : in stead of imposing unnecessary burdens upon our nature , it easeth us of the greater weight of our passions and mistakes : in stead of subduing us with rigour , it redeemeth us from the slavery we are in too our selves , who are the most severe masters , whilst we are under the usurpation of our appetites let loose and unrestrain'd . religion is a chearful thing , so far from being always at cuffs with good humour , that it is inseparably united to it . nothing unpleasant belongs to it , though the spiritual cooks have done their unskilful part to give an ill relish to it . a wise epicure would be religious for the sake of pleasure : good sense is the foundation of both ; and he is a bungler who aimeth at true luxury , but where they are joyn'd . religion is exalted reason , refin'd and sifted from the grosser parts of it : it dwelleth in the upper region of the mind , where there are no clouds or mists to darken or offend it : it is both the foundation and the crown of all vertues : it is morality improv'd and rais'd to its height , by being carried nearer heaven , the only place where perfection resideth . it cleanseth the understanding , and brusheth off the earth that hangeth about our souls . it doth not want the hopes and the terrors which are made use of to support it : neither ought it to descend to the borrowing any argument out of it self , since there we may find every thing that should invite us . if we were to be hired to religion , it is able to out-bid the corrupted world , with all it can offer to us , being so much the richer of the too in every thing where reason is admitted to be judge of the value . since this is so , it is worth your pains to make religion your choice , and not make use of it only as a refuge . there are ladies , who finding by the too visible decay of their good looks , that they can shine no more by that light , put on the varnish of an affected devotion , to keep up some kind of figure in the world ; they take sanctuary in the church , where they are pursued by growing contempt , which will not be stopt ; but followeth them to the altar : such late penitence is only a disguise for the tormenting grief of being no more handsom . that is the killing thought which draweth the sighs and tears , that appear outwardly to be applied to a better end . there are many who have and aguish devotion , hot and cold fits , long intermissions , and violent raptures ; this unevenness is by all means to be avoided : let your method be a steady course of good life , that may run like a smooth stream , and be a perpetual spring to furnish to the continued exercise of vertue . your devotion may be earnest , but it must be unconstrained ; and like other duties , you must make it your pleasure too , or else it will have but very little efficacy . by this rule you may best judge of your own heart . whilst these duties are joys , it is an evidence of their being sincere ; but when they are a penance , it is a sign that your nature maketh some resistance ; and whilst that lasteth , you can never be entirely secure of your self . if you are often unquiet , and too nearly touch'd by the cross accidents of life , your devotion is not of the right standard , there is too much allay in it . that which is right and unmixt , taketh away the sting of every thing that would trouble you : it is like a healing balm , that extinguisheth the sharpness of the blood ; so this softneth and dissolveth the anguish of the mind . a devout mind hath this privilege , of being free from passion , as some climates are from all manner of venomous kind of creatures ; it will raise you above the little vexations to which others for want of it , will be expos'd , and will bring you to a temper , not of stupid indifference , but of such a wife resignation , that you may live in the world , so as it may hang about you like a loose garment , and not tied too close to you . take heed of running into that common error , of applying god's judgments upon particular occasions . our weights and measures are not competent to make the distribution either of his mercy or his justice : he hath thrown a veil over these things , which makes it not only an impertinence , but a kind of sacrilege , for us to give sentence in them without his commission . as to your particular faith , keep to the religion that is grown up with you , both as it is the best in it self , and that the reason of staying in it upon that ground is somewhat stronger for your sex , than it will perhaps be allow'd to be for ours ; in respect that the voluminous enquiries into the truth , by reading , are less expected from you . the best of books will be direction enough to you not to change ; and whilst you are fix'd and sufficiently confirm'd in your own mind , you 'l do best to keep vain doubts and scruples at such a distance , that they may give you no disquiet . let me recommend to you a method of being rightly inform'd , which can never fail : it is in short this : get understanding , and practice vertue ; and if you are so blessed as to have these for your share , it is not surer that there is a god , than it is , that by him all necessary truths will be revealed to you . husband . that which challengeth the next place in your thoughts , is , how to live with a husband : and though that is so large a word , that few rules can be fix'd to it which are unchangeable , the methods being as various as the several tempers of men to which they must be suited ; yet i cannot omit some general observations , which , with the help of your own , may the better direct you in the part of your life upon which your happiness most dependeth . it is one of the disadvantages belonging to your sex , that young women are seldom permitted to make their own choice ; their friends care and experience are thought safer guides to them , than their own fancies ; and their modesty often forbiddeth them to refuse when their parents recommend , though their inward consent may not entirely go along with it : in this case there remaineth nothing for them to do , but to endeavour to make that easie which falleth to their lot , and by a wife use of every thing they may dislike in a husband , turn that by degrees to be very supportable , which , if neglected , might in time beget an aversion . you must first lay it down for a foundation in general , that there is inequality in the sexes , and that for the better oeconomy of the world , the men , who were to be the law-givers , had the larger share of reason bestow'd upon them ; by which means your sex is the better prepar'd for the compliance that is necessary for the better performance of those duties which seem'd to be most properly assign'd to it . this looks a little uncourtly at the first appearance ; but upon examination it will be found , that nature is so far from being unjust to you , that she is partial on your side : she hath made you such large amends by other advantages , for the seeming injustice of the first distribution , that the right of complaining is come over to our sex ; you have it in your power not only to free your selves , but to subdue your masters , and without violence throw both their natural and legal authority at your feet . we are made of differing tempers , that our defects might be mutually supplied : your sex wanteth our reason for your conduct , and our strength for your protection : ours wanteth your gentleness to soften , and to entertain us . the first part of our life is a good deal of it subjected to you in the nursery , where you reign without competition , and by that means have the advantage of giving the first impressions ; afterwards you have stronger influences , which , well manag'd , have more force in your behalf , than all our priviledges and jurisdictions can pretend to have against you . you have more strength in your looks , than we have in our laws ; and more power by your tears , than we have by our arguments . it is true , that the laws of marriage , run in a harsher stile towards your sex. obey is an ungentle word , and less easie to be digested , by making such an unkind distinction in the words of contract , and so very unsuitable to the excess of good manners , that generally goes before it ; besides , the universality of the rule seemeth to be a grievance , and it appeareth reasonable , that there might be an exemption for extraordinary women , from ordinary rules , to take away the just exception that lieth against the false measure of general equality : it may be alledged by the council retained by your sex , as there is in all other laws , an appeal from the letter to equity in cases that require it , it is as reasonable , that some court of a larger jurisdiction might be erected , where some wives might resort and plead , especially , and in such instances , where nature is so kind , as to raise them above the level of their own sex , that they might have relief , and obtain a mitigation in their own particular , of a sentence which was given generally against woman-kind . the causes of separation are now so very course , that few are confident enough to buy their liberty at the price of having their modesty so exposed , and for disparity of minds , which above all other things requireth a remedy , the laws have made no provision ; so little refin'd are numbers of men , by whom they are compil'd . this , and a great deal more might be said to give a colour to this complaint ; but the answer is , in short , that the institution of marriage is too sacred to admit of a liberty of objection to it ; that the supposition of your being the weaker sex , having without all doubt a good foundation , maketh it reasonable to subject it to the masculine dominion ; that no rule can be so perfect , as not to admit some exceptions ; but the law presumeth there would be so few found in this case , who would have a sufficient right to such a privilege , that it is safer some injustice should be conniv'd at in a very few instances , than to break into an establishment , upon which the order of humane society doth so much depend . you are therefore to make the best of what is setled by law and custom , and not vainly imagine , that it will be changed for your sake . but that you may not be discouraged , as if you lay under the weight of an incurable grievance , you are to know , that by a wife and dexterous conduct , it will be in your power to relieve your self from any thing that looketh like a disadvantage in it . for your better direction , i will give a hint of the most ordinary causes of dissatisfaction between man and wife , that you may be able by such a warning to live so upon your guard , that when you shall be married , you may know how to cure your husband 's mistakes , and to prevent your own . first then , you are to consider , you live in a time which hath rendred some kind of frailties so habitual , that they lay claim to large grains of allowance . the world in this is somewhat unequal , and our sex seemeth to play the tyrant , in distinguishing partiality for our selves , by making that in the utmost degree criminal in the woman , which in a man passeth under a much gentler censure . the root and excuse of this injustice is the preservation of families from any mixture that may bring a blemish to them : and whilst the point of honour continues to be so plac'd , it seems unavoidable to give your sex the greater shane of the penalty . but if in this it lieth under any disadvantage , you are more than recompens'd , by having the honour of families in your keeping . the consideration so great a trust must give you , maketh full amends ; and this power the world hath lodg'd in you , can hardly fail to restrain the severity of an ill husband , and to improve the kindness and esteem of a good one . this being so , remember , that next to the danger of committing the fault your self , the greatest is that of seeing it in your husband . do not seem to look or hear that way : if he is a man of sense , he will reclaim himself ; the folly of it , is of it self sufficient to cure him : if he is not so , he will be provok'd , but not reform'd . to expostulate in these cases , looketh like declaring war , and preparing for reprisals ; which to a thinking husband would be a dangerous reflexion . besides , it is so course a reason which will be assign'd for a lady 's too great warmth upon such an occasion , that modesty no less than prudence ought to restrain her ; since such an undecent complaint makes a wife much more ridiculous , than the injury that provoketh her to it . but it is yet worse , and more unskilful , to blaze it in the world , expecting it should rise up in arms to take her part : whereas she will find , it can have no other effect , than that she will be served up in all companies , as the reigning feast at that time ; and will continue to be the common entertainment , till she is rescu'd by some newer folly that cometh upon the stage , and driveth her away from it . the impertinence of such methods is so plain , that it doth not deserve the pains of being laid open . be assur'd , that in these cases your discretion and silence will be the most prevailing reproof ; and an affected ignorance , which is seldom a vertue , is a great one here : and when your husband seeth how unwilling you are to be uneasie , there is no stronger argument to perswade him not to be unjust to you . besides , it will naturally make him more yielding in other things : and whether it be to cover or redeem his offence , you may have the good effect of it whilst it lasteth , and all that while have the most reasonable ground that can be , of presuming , such a behaviour at last will intirely convert him . there is nothing so glorious to a wife , as a victory so gain'd : ● man so reclaim'd , is for ever after subjected to her vertue ; and her bearing for a time , is more than rewarded by a triumph that will continue as long as her life . the next thing i will suppose , is , that your husband may love wine more than is convenient . it will be granted , that though there are vices of a deeper dye , there are none that have greater deformity than this , when it is not restrain'd : but with all this , the same custom which is the more to be lamented for its being so general , should make it less uneasie to every one in particular who is to suffer by the effects of it : so that in the first place , it will be no new thing if you should have a drunkard for your husband ; and there is by too frequent examples evidence enough , that such a thing may happen , and yet a wife may live too without being miserable . self-love dictateth aggravating words to every thing we feel ; ruine and misery are the terms we apply to whatever we do not like , forgetting the mixture allotted to us by the condition of humane life , by which it is not intended we should be quite exempt from trouble . it is fair , if we can escape such a degree of it as would oppress us , and enjoy so much of the pleasant part as may lessen the ill taste of such things as are unwelcome to us . every thing hath two sides , and for our own ease we ought to direct our thoughts to that which must be least liable to exception . to fall upon the worst side of a drunkard , giveth so unpleasant a prospect , that it is not possible to dwell upon it . let us pass then to the more favourable part , as far as a wife is concern'd in it . i am tempted to say ( if the irregularity of the expression could in strictness be justified ) that a wife is to thank god her husband hath faults . mark the seeming paradox , my dear , for your own instruction , it being intended no further . a husband without faults is a dangerous observer ; he hath an eye so piercing , and seeth every thing so plain , that it is expos'd to his full censure ; and though i will not doubt but that your vertue will disappoint the sharpest enquiries ; yet few women can bear the having all they say or do represented in the clear glass of an understanding without faults . nothing softneth the arrogance of our nature , like a mixture of some frailties ; it is by them we are best told , that we must not strike too hard upon others , because we our selves do so often deserve blows : they pull our rage by the sleeve , and whisper gentleness to us in our censures , even when they are rightly applied . the faults and passions of husbands bring them down to you , and make them content to live upon less unequal terms , than faultless men would be willing to stoop to ; so haughty is mankind till humbled by common weaknesses and defects , which in our corrupted state contribute more towards the reconciling us to one another , than all the precepts of the philosophers and divines ; so that where the errors of our nature make amends for the disadvantages of yours , it is more your part to make use of the benefits , than to quarrel at the fault . thus in case a drunken husband should fall to your share , if you will be wise and patient , his wine shall be of your side ; it will throw a veil over your mistakes , it will set out and improve every thing you do , that he is pleased with . others will like him less , and by that means he may perhaps like you the more , when after having dined too well , he is received at home without a storm , or so much as a reproachful look , the wine will naturally work out all in kindness , which a wife must encourage , let it be wrapped up in never so much impertinence : on the other side , it would boil up into rage , if the mistaken wife should treat him roughly , like a certain thing called a kind shrew , than which the world , with all its plenty , cannot shew a more senceless , hl-bred , forbidding creature . consider , that where the man will give such frequent intermissions of the use of his reason , the wife insensibly getteth a right of governing in the vacancy , and that raiseth her character and credit in the family , to a higher pitch than perhaps could be done under a sober husband , who never putteth himself into an incapacity of holding the reins . if these are not intire consolations , at least they are remedies to some degree : they cannot make drunkenness a vertue , nor a husband given to it a felicity ; but you will do your self no ill office in the endeavouring , by these means , to make the best of such a lot , in case it should happen to be yours , and by the help of a wife observation , to make that very supportable , which would otherwise be a load that would oppress you . the next case i will put is , that your husband may be cholerick or ill-humour'd . to this it may be said , that passionate men generally make amends at the foot of the account : such a man , if he is angry one day without any sense , will the next day be as kind without any reason ; so that by marking how the wheels of such a mans head use to move , you may easily bring over all his passions to your party ; in stead of being struck down by his thunder , you shall direct it where and upon whom you shall think it best applied . thus are the strongest poisons turn'd to the best remedies ; but then there must be art in it , and a skilful hand , else the least bungling maketh it mortal . there is a great deal of nice care required to deal with a man of this complexion ; choler proceedeth from pride , and maketh a man so partial to himself , that he swelleth against contradiction , and thinketh he is lessened if he is opposed ; you must in this case take heed of increasing the storm by an unwary word , or kindling the fire whilst the wind is in a corner which may blow it in your face : you are dextrously to yield every thing till he beginneth to cool , and then by slow degrees you may rise and gain upon him : your gentleness well timed , will , like a charm , dispel his anger ill placed ; a kind smile will reclaim , when a shrill pettish answer would provoke him ; rather than fail upon such occasions , when other remedies are too weak , a little flattery may be admitted , which by being necessary , will cease to be criminal : if ill-humour and sullenness , and not open and sudden heat is his disease , there is a way of treating that too , so as to make it a grievance to be endured : in order to it , you are first to know , that naturally good sence hath a mixture of surly in 't ; and there being so much folly in the world , and for the most part so triumphant , it giveth frequent temptations to raise the spleen of men who think right ; therefore that which may generally be call'd ill humour , is not always a fault ; it becometh one , when either it is wrong applyed , or that it is continued too long , when it is not so : for this reason , you must not too hastily fix an ill name upon that which may perhaps not deserve it ; and though the case should be , that your husband might too sowrly resent any thing he disliketh , it may so happen , that more blame may belong to your mistake , than to his ill humour . if a husband behaveth himself sometimes with an indifference that a wife may think offensive , she is in the wrong to put the worst sense upon it , if by any means it will admit a better . some wives will call it his humour , if their husbands change their style from that which they used whilst they made their first addresses to them : others will allow no intermission or abatement in the expressions of kindness to them , not enough distinguishing times , and forgetting that it is impossible for men to keep themselves up all their lives to the height of some extravagant moments . a man may at some times be less careful in little things , without any cold or disobliging reasons for it ; as a wife may be too expecting in smaller matters , without drawing upon herself the inference of being unkind : and if your husband should be really sullen , and have such frequent fits , as might take away the excuse of it , it concerneth you to have an eye prepared to discern the first appearances of cloudy weather , and to watch when the fit goeth off , which seldom lasteth long if it is let alone ; but whilst the mind is sore , every thing galleth it , and that maketh it necessary to let the black humour begin to spend it self , before you begin to come in and venture to undertake it . if in the lottery of the world you should draw a covetous husband , i confess it will not make you proud of your good luck ; yet even such a one may be endured too , though there are few passions more untractable than that of avarice . you must first take care that your definition of avarice may not be a mistake ; you are to examine every circumstance of your husband's fortune , and weigh the reason of every thing you expect from him before you have right to pronounce that sentence : the complaint is now so generally against all husbands , that it giveth great suspicion of its being often ill-grounded ; it is impossible they should all deserve that censure , and therefore it is certain , that it is many times misapplyed : he that spareth in every thing is an inexcusable niggard , he that spareth in nothing is as inexcusable a mad-man ; the mean is , to spare in what is least necessary , to lay out more liberally in what is most required in our several citcumstances ; yet this will not always satisfie ; there are wives who are impatient of the rules of oeconomy , and are apt to call their husbands kindness in question , if any other measure is put to their expence than that of their own fancy ; be sure to avoid this dangerous errour , such a partiality to your self , which is so offensive to an understanding man , that he will very ill bear a wife's giving her self such an injurious preference to all the family , and whatever belongeth to it : but to admit the worst , and that your husband is really a close-handed wretch , you must in this , as in other cases , endeavour to make it less afflicting to you ; and first you must observe seasonable hours of speaking . when you offer any thing in opposition to this reigning humour , a third hand and a wise friend , may often prevail more than you will be allowed to do in your own cause : sometimes you are dextrously to go along with him in things , where you see that the niggardly part of his mind is most predominant , by which you will have the better opportunity of perswading him in things where he may be more indifferent : our passions are very unequal , and are apt to be raised or lessened , according as they work upon different objects ; they are not to be stopped or restrained in those things where our mind is more particularly engaged : in other matters they are more tractable , and will sometimes give reason a hearing , and admit a fair dispute . more than that , there are few men , even in this instance of avarice , so intirely abandoned to it , that at some hours , and upon some occasions , will not forget their natures , and for that time turn prodigal ; the same man who will grudge himself what is necessary , let his pride be raised and he shall be profuse ; at another time his anger shall have the same effect ; a fit of vanity , ambition , and sometimes of kindness , shall open and inlarge his narrow mind ; a dose of wine will work upon this tough humour , and for the time dissolve it : your business must be , if this case happeneth , to watch these critical moments , and not let one of them slip without making your advantage of it ; and a wife may be said to want skill , if by these means she is not able to secure her self in a good measure against the inconveniencies this scurvy quality in a husband might bring upon her , except he should be such an incurable monster , as i hope will never fall to your share . the last supposition i will make , is , that your husband should be weak and incompetent to make use of the privileges that belong to him ; it will be yielded , that such a one leaveth room for a great many objections ; but god almighty seldom sendeth a grievance without a remedy , or at least such a mitigation as taketh away a great part of the sting , and smart of it . to make such a misfortune less heavy , you are first to bring to your observation , that a wife very often maketh the better figure , for her husbands making no great one , and there seemeth to be little reason , why the same lady that chuseth a waiting-woman with worse looks , many not be content with a husband with less wit ; the argument being equal from the advantage of the comparison : if you will be more ashamed in some cases , of such a husband , you will be less afraid than you would perhaps be of a wise one ; his unseasonable weakness may no doubt sometimes grieve you , but then set against this , that it giveth you the dominion , if you will make the right use of it ; it is next to his being dead , in which case the wife hath right to administer ; therefore be sure , if you have such an ideot , that none , except your self , may have the benefit of the forfeiture : such a fool is a dangerous beast , if others have the keeping of him ; and you must be very undextrous if when your husband shall resolve to be an ass , you do not take care he may be your ass ; but you must go skillfully about it , and above all things , take heed of distinguishing in publick what kind of husband he is ; your inward thoughts must not hinder the outward payment of the consideration that is due to him ; your stighting him in company , besides that , it would , to a discerning by-stander , give too great encouragement for the making nearer application to you , is in it self such an undecent way of assuming , that it may provoke the tame creature to break loose , and to shew his dominion for his credit , which he was content to forget for his ease : in short , the furest and the most approved method will be to do like a wife minister to an easie prince ; first give him the orders you afterwards receive from him ; with all this , that which you are to pray for , is a wife husband , one that by knowing how to be a master , for that very reason will not let you feel the weight of it ; one whose authority is so soften'd by his kindness , that it giveth you ease without abridging your liberty ; one that will return so much tenderness for iust esteem of him , that you will never want power , though you will seldom care to use it ; such a husband is as much above all the other kinds of them , as a rational subjection to a prince , great in himself , is to be preferr'd before the disquiet and uneasiness of unlimited liberty . before i leave this head , i must add a little concerning your behaviour to your husbands friends , which requireth the most refined part of your understanding to acquit your self well of it ; you are to study how to live with them with more care than you are to apply to any other part of your life ; especially at first , that you may not stumble at the first setting out ; the family into which you are grafted will generally be apt to expect , that like a stranger in a foreign country , you should conform to their methods , and not bring in a new model by your own authority ; the friends in such a case are tempted to rise up in arms as against an unlawful invasion , so that you are with the utmost caution to avoid the least appearances of any thing of this kind ; and that you may with less difficulty afterwards give your directions , be sure at first to receive them from your husbands friends , gain them to you by early applying to them , and they will be so satisfied , that as nothing is more thankful than pride , when it is complyed with , they will strive which of them shall most recommend you ; and when they have helped you to take root in your husband 's good opinion , you will have less dependance upon theirs , though you must not neglect any reasonable means of preserving it . you are to consider , that a man govern'd by his friends , is very easily inflamed by them ; and that one who is not so , will yet for his own sake expect to have them consider'd . it is easily improved to a point of honour in a husband , not to have his relations neglected ; and nothing is more dangerous , than to raise an objection , which is grounded upon pride ; it is the most stubborn and lasting passion we are subject to , and when it is the first cause of the war , it is very hard to make a secure peace : your caution in this is of the last importance to you ; and that you may the better succeed in it , carry a strict eye upon the impertinencies of your servants ; take heed that their ill humour may not engage you to take exceptions , or their too much assuming in small matters , raise consequences which may bring you under great disadvantage . remember that in the case of a royal bride , those about her are generally so far suspected to bring in a foreign interest , that in most countries , they are insensibly reduced to a very small number , and those of so low a figure , that it doth not admit the being jealous of them . in little , and in the proportion , this may be the case of every new-married-woman , and therefore it may be more adviseable for you , to gain the servants you find in a family , than to tye your self too fast to those you carry into it ; you are not to overlook those small reflections , because they may appear low and inconsiderable ; for it may be said , that as the greatest streams are made up of the small drops at the head of the springs from whence they are derived , so the greatest circumstances of your life , will be in some degree directed by these seeming trifles , which having the advantage of being the first acts of it , have a greater effect than singly in their own nature they could pretend to . i will conclude this article with my advice , that you would , as much as nature will give you leave , endeavour to forget the great indulgence you have found at home , after such a gentle discipline as you have been under ; every thing you dislike will seem the harsher to you , the tenderness we had for you , my dear , is of another nature , peculiar to kind parents , and differing from that you will meet with at first in any family into which you shall be transplanted ; and yet they may be very kind too , and afford no justifiable reason to you to complain . you must not be frighted with the first appearances of a differing scene ; for when you are used to it , you may like the house you go to , better than that you left ; and your husband's kindness will have so much advantage of ours , that we shall yield up all competition , and as well as we love you , be very well contented to surrender to such a rival . house , family , and children . you must lay before you , my dear , there are degrees of care to recommend your self to the world in the several parts of your life , in many things , though the doing of them well , may raise your credit and esteem , yet the omission of them would draw no immediate reproach upon you ; in others , where your duty is more particularly applyed , the neglect of them is amongst those faults which are not forgiven , and will bring you under a censure , which will be much a heavier thing than the trouble you would avoid ; of this kind is the government of your house , family and children , which since it is the province allotted to your sex , and that the discharging it well , will for that reason be expected from you , if you either desert it out of laziness , or manage it with want of skill , instead of a help you will be an incumbrance to the family where you are placed . i must tell you , that no respect is lasting , but that which is produced by our being in some degree useful to those that pay it : where that faileth , the homage and the reverence go along with it , and fly to others where something may be expected in exchange for them ; and upon this principle the respects even of the children and the servants will not stay with one that doth not think them worth their care , and the old house-keeper shall make a better figure in the family , than the lady with all her fine cloths , if she wilfully relinquish her title to the government ; therefore take heed of carrying your good breeding to such a height , as to be good for nothing , and to be proud of it : some think it hath a great air to be above troubling their thoughts with such ordinary things as their house and family ; others dare not admit cares for fear they should hasten wrinkles ; mistaken pride maketh some think they must keep themselves up , and not descend to those duties , which do not seem enough refined for great ladies to be imploy'd in ; forgetting all this while , that it is more than the greatest princes can do , at once to preserve respect , and to neglect their business ; no age ever erected altars to insignificant gods ; they had all some quality applyed to them to draw worship from mankind ; this maketh it the more unresonable for a lady to expect to be consider'd , and at the same time resolve not to deserve it ; good looks alone will not do , they are not such a lasting tenure , as to be relyed upon ; and if they should stay longer than they usually do , it will by no means be safe to depend upon them ; for when time hath abated the violence of the first liking , and that the napp is a little worn off , though still a good degree of kindness may remain , men recover their sight which before might be dazell'd , and allow themselves to object as well as admire ; in such a case , when a husband seeth an empty airy thing that sails up and down the house to no purpose , and looks as if she came thither only to make a visit , when he findeth , that after her emptiness hath been extream busy about some very senseless thing , that she eats her breakfast half an hour before dinner , to be at greater liberty to afflict the company with her discourse ; then calleth for her coach , that she may trouble her acquaintance , who are already cloy'd with her : and having some proper dialogues ready to display her foolish eloquence at the top of the stairs , she setteth out like a ship out of harbour , laden with trifles , and cometh back with them ; at her return she repeateth to her faithful waiting-woman , the triumphs of that day's impertinence , then wrap'd up in flattery and clean linen , goeth to bed so satisfied , that it throweth her into pleasant dreams of her own felicity ; such a one is seldom serious but with her taylor ; her children and family may now and then have a random thought , but she never taketh aim but at something very impertinent . i say when a husband , whose province is without doors , and to whom the oeconomy of the house would be in some degree indecent , findeth no order nor quiet in his family , meeteth with complaints of all kinds springing from this root , the mistaken lady , who thinketh to make amends for all this , by having a well-chosen petty-coat , will at last be convinced of her error , and with grief be forced to undergo the penalties that belong to those who are wilfully insignificant ; when this scurvy hour cometh upon her , she first groweth angry ; then when the time of it is past , would perhaps grow wiser , not remembring that we can no more have wisdom than grace , when ever we think fit to call for it ; there are times and periods fix'd for both ; and when they are too long neglected , the punishment is , that they are irrecoverable , and nothing remaineth but an useless grief for the folly of having thrown them out of our power ; you are to think what a mean figure a woman maketh , when she is so degraded by her own fault ; whereas there is nothing in those duties which are expected from you , that can be a lessening to you , except your want of conduct make it so : you may love your children without living in the nursery , and you may have a competent and discreet care of them , without letting it break out upon the company , or exposing your self by turning your discourse that way , which is a kind of laying children to the parish , and it can hardly be done any where , that those who hear it will be so forgiving , as not to think they are overcharged with them . a womans tenderness of her children is one of the least deceitful evidences of her vertue ; but yet the way of expressing it , must be subject to the rules of good breeding : and though a woman of quality ought not be less kind to them , than mothers of the meanest rank are to theirs , yet she may distinguish her self in the manner , and avoid the course methods , which in women of a lower size might be more excusable . you must begin early to make them love you , that they may obey you : this mixture is no where more necessary than in children ; and i must tell you , that you are not to expect returns of kindness from yours , if ever you have any , without grains of allowance ; and yet it is not so much a defect in their good nature , as a shortness of thought in them ; their first insufficiency maketh them lean so entirely upon their parents for what is necessary , that the habit of it maketh them continue the same expectations for what is unreasonable ; and as oft as they are denied , so often they think they are injured ; and whilst their desires are strong , and their reasons yet in the cradle , their anger looketh no farther than the thing they long for and cannot have ; and to be displeased for their own good , is a maxim they are very slow to understand ; so that you may conclude , the first thoughts of your children will have no small mixture of mutiny ; which being so natural , you must not be angry , except you would increase it ; you must deny them as seldom as you can , and when there is no avoiding it you must do it gently , you must flatter away their ill humours , and take the next opportunity of pleasing them in some other things , before they either ask or look for it : this will strengthen your authority , by making it soft to them ; and confirm their obedience , by making it their interest . you are to have as strict a guard upon your self amongst your children , as if you were amongst your enemies ; they are apt to make wrong inferences , to take encouragement from half words , and misapplying what you may say or do , so as either to lessen their duty , or to extend their liberty farther than is convenient : let them be more in awe of your kindness than of your power , and above all , take heed of supporting a favourite child in its impertinence , which will give right to the rest of claiming the same privilege . if you have a divided number , leave the boys to the fathers more peculiar care , that you may with the greater justice pretend to a more immediate jurisdiction over those of your own sex : you are to live so with them , that they may never chuse to avoid you , except when they have offended ; and then let them tremble , that they may distinguish ; but their penance must not continue so long as to grow sowre upon their stomachs , that it may not harden in stead of correcting them : the kind and severe parts must have their several turns seasonably applied ; but your indulgence must have the broader mixture , that love , rather than fear , may be the root of their obedience . your servants are in the next place to be considered ; and you must remember not to fall into the mistake of thinking , that because they receive wages , and are so much inferiour to you , therefore they are below your care to know how to mannage them . it would be as good reason for a master workman to despise the wheels of his engine because they are made of wood. these are the wheels of your family ; and let your directions be never so faultless , yet if these engines stop or move wrong , the whole order of your house is either at a stand , or discomposed : besides , the inequality which is between you , must not cause you to forget , that nature maketh no such distinction , but that servants may be looked upon as humble friends , and that returns of kindness and good vsage are as much due to such of them as deserve it , as their service is due to us when we require it . a foolish haughtiness in the style of speaking , or in the manner of commanding them , is in it self very undecent , besides , that it begetteth an aversion in them , of which the least ill effect to be expected , is , that they will be flow and careless in all that is injoyned them , and you will find it true by your experience , that you will be so much the more obeyed as you are less imperious . be not too hasty in giving your orders , nor too angry when they are not altogether observed ; much less are you to be loud , or too much disturbed ; an evenness in distinguishing when they do well or ill , is that which will make your family move by a rule , and without noise , and will the better set out your skill in conducting it with ease and silence , that it may be like a well-disciplin'd army , which knoweth how to anticipate the orders that are fit to be given them . you are never to neglect the duty of the present hour , to do another thing , which though it may be better in it self , is not to be unseasonably preferred . allot well chosen hours for the inspection of your family , which may be so distinguished from the rest of your time , that the necessary cares may come in their proper places , without any influence upon your good humour , or interruption to other things . by these methods you will put your self in possesson of being valued by your servants , and then their obedience will naturally follow . i must not forget one of the greatest articles belonging to a family , which is the expences : it must not be such , as by failing either in the time or measure of it , may rather draw censure than gain applause . if it was well examined , there is more money given to be laughed at , than for any other thing in the world , though the purchasers do not think so . a well-stated rule is like the line , when that is once pass'd we are under another pole ; so the first straying from rule , is a step towards making that which was before a vertue , to change its nature , and to grow either into a vice , or at least an impertinence : the art of laying out money wisely , is not attained to without a great deal of thought ; and it is yet more difficult in the cafe of a wife , who is accountable to her husband for her mistakes in it : it is not only his money , his credit too is at stake , if what lyeth under the wife's care is managed , either with undecent thrift , or too loose profusion ; you are therefore to keep the mean between these two extreams , and it being hardly possible to hold the balance exactly even , let it rather incline towards the liberal side , as more suitable to your quality , and less subject reproach ; of the two , a little money mispent is sooner recovered , than the credit which is lost by having it unhandsomely saved ; and a wife husband will less forgive a shameful piece of parsimony , than a little extravaance , if it is not too often repeated ; mind in this must be your chief direction ; and his temper , when once known , will in a great measure justifie your part in the management , if he is pleased with it . in your cloths avoid too much gaudiness ; do not value your self upon an imbroidered-gown ; and remember , that a reasonable word , or an obliging look , will gain you more respect , than all your fine trappings . this is not said to restrain you from a decent compliance with the world , provided you take the wiser , and not the foolisher part of your sex for your pattern : some distinctions are to be allowed , whilst they are well-suited to your quality and fortune , and in the distribution of the expence , it seemeth to me , that a full attendance , and well-chosen ornaments for your house , will make you a better figure , than too much glittering in what you wear , which may with more ease be imitated by those which are below you ; yet this must not tempt you to starve every thing but your own apartment ; or in order to more abundance there , give just cause to the least servant you have , to complain of the want of what is necessary : above all , fix it in your thoughts , as an unchangeable maxim , that nothing is truly fine but what is fit , and that just so much as is proper for your circumstances of their several kinds , is much finer than all you can add to it ; when you once break through those bounds , you launch into a wide sea of extravagance , every thing will become necessary , because you have a mind to it ; and you have a mind to it , not because it is fit for you , but because some body else hath it : this lady's logick setteth reason upon its head , by carrying the rule from things to persons , and appealing from what is right to every fool that is in the wrong ; the word necessary is miserably applyed , it disordereth families , and overturneth governments by being so abused : remember , that children and fools want every thing , because they want wit to distinguish : and therefore there is not a stronger evidence of a crazy understanding , than the making too large a catalogue of things necessary , when in truth there are so very few things that have a right to be placed in it ; try every thing first in your iudgement , before you allow it a place in your desire , else your husband may think it as necessary for him to deny , as it is for you to have whatever is unreasonable ; and if you shall too often give him that advantage , the habit of refusing may perhaps reach to things that are not unfit for you ; there are unthinking ladies , who do not enough consider , how little their own figure agreeth with the fine things they are so proud of ; others when they have them , will hardly allow them to be visible ; they cannot be seen without light , and that is many times so sawcy and so prying , that is like a too forward gallant to be forbid the chamber to . some , when you are ushered into their dark ruelle , it is with such solemnity , that a man would swear there was something in it , till the unskilful lady breaketh silence , and beginneth a chat , which discovereth it is puppit-play with magnificent scenes ; many esteem things rather as they are hard to be gotten , than that they are worth getting : this looketh as if they had an interest to pursue that maxim , because a great part of their own value dependeth upon it . truth in these cases would be very often unmannerly , and might derogate from the prerogative , great ladies would assume to themselves , of being distinct creatures from those of their sex , who are inferiour , and of less difficult access in other things too . your condition must give the rule to you , and therefore it is not a wifes part to aim at more than a bounded liberality ; the farther extent of that quality ( otherwise to be commended ) belongeth to the husband , who hath better means for it . generosity wrong placed becometh a vice , and it is no more a vertue when it groweth into an inconvenience . vertues must be inlarged or restrained according to the differing circumstances ; a princely mind will undo a private family , therefore things must be suited , or else they will not deserve to be commended , let them in themselves be never so valuable ; and the expectations of the world are best answered when we acquit our selves in that manner which seemeth to be prescribed to our several conditions , without usurping upon those duties , which do not so particularly belong to us . i will close the consideration of this article of expence , with this short word , do not fetter your self with such a restraint in it as may make you remarkable ; but remember that vertue is the greatest ornament , and good sence the best equipage . behaviour and conversation . it is time now to lead you out of your house into the world. a dangerous step ; where your vertue alone will not serve you , except it is attended with a great deal of prudence : you must have both for your guard , and not stir without them ; the enemy is abroad , and you are sure to be taken , if you are found stragling : your behaviour is therefore to incline strongly towards the reserved part : your character is immovably to be fixed upon that bottom , not excluding a mixture of greater freedom , as far as it may be innocent and well-timed . the extravagancies of the age have made caution more necessary ; and by the same reason that the too great licence of ill men hath by consequence in many things restrained the lawful liberty of those who did not abuse it , the unjustifiable freedom of some of your sex have involved the rest in the penalty of being reduced . and though this cannot so alter the nature of things , as to make that criminal , which in it self is indifferent ; yet if it maketh it dangerous , that alone is insufficient to justifie the restraint . a close behaviour is the fittest to receive vertue for its constant guest , because there , and there only , it can be secure . proper reserves are the out-works , and must never be deserted by those who intend to keep the place ; they keep off the possibility not only of being taken , but of being attempted ; and if a woman seeth danger at never so remote a distance , she is for that time to shorten her line of liberty : she who will allow her self to go to the utmost extents of every thing that is lawful , is so very near going farther , that those who lie at watch , will begin to count upon her . mankind , from the double temptation of vanity and desire , is apt to turn every thing a woman doth to the hopeful side ; and there are few who dare make an impudent application , till they discern something which they are willing to take for an encouragement : it is safer therefore to prevent such forwardness , than to go about to cure it : it gathereth strength by the first allowances , and claimeth a right from having been at any time suffered with impunity : therefore nothing is with more care to be avoided , than such a kind of civility as may be mistaken for invitation . it will not be enough for you to keep your self free from any criminal engagements ; for if you do that which either raiseth hopes , or createth discourse , there is a spot thrown upon your good name ; and those kind of stains are the harder to be taken out , being dropped upon you by the man's vanity , as well as by the woman's malice . most men are in one sence platonick lovers , though they are not willing to own that character ; they are so far philosophers , as to allow , that the greatest part of pleasure lieth in the mind ; and in pursuance of that maxim , there are few who do not place the felicity more in the opinion of the world , of their being prosperous lovers , than in the blessing it self , how much soever they appear to value it . this being so , you must be very cautious not to gratifie those camelions at the price of bringing a cloud upon your reputation , which may be deeply wounded , though your conscience is unconcerned . your own sex too will not fail to help the least appearance that giveth a handle to be ill turned ; the best of them will not be displeased to improve their own value , by laying others under a disadvantage , when there is a fair occasion given for it ; it distinguisheth them still the more , their own credit is still the more exalted , and , like a picture set off with shades , shineth more when a lady , less innocent , or less discreet , is set near , to make them appear so much the brighter . if these lend their breath to blast such as are so unwary as to give them this advantage , you may be sure there will be a stronger gale from those , who , besides malice or emulation , have an interest too , to strike hard upon a vertuous woman : it seemeth to them , that their load of infamy is lessened , by throwing part of it upon others ; so that they will not only improve when it lieth in their way , but take pains to find out the least mistake an innocent woman committeth , in revenge of the injury she doth in leading a life which is a reproach to them . with these you must be extream wary , and neither provoke them to be angry , nor invite them to be intimate . to the men you are to have a behaviour which may secure you , without offending them : no ill-bred affected shiness nor roughness , unsuitable to your sex , and unnecessary to your vertue ; but a way of living that may prevent all course railleries or unmannerly freedoms ; looks that forbid without rudeness , and oblige without invitation , or leaving room for the sawcy inferences mens vanity suggesteth to them upon the least encouragements . this is so very nice , that it must engage you to have a perpetual watch upon your eyes , and to remember , that one careless glaunce giveth more advantage than a hundred words not enough considered ; the language of the eyes being very much the most significant , and the most observed . your civility , which is always to be preserved , must not be carried to a compliance , which may betray you into irrecoverable mistakes . this french ambiguous word complaisance hath led your sex into more blame , than all other things put together : it carrieth them by degrees into a certain thing called a good kind of woman , an easie idle creature , that doth neither good nor ill but by chance , hath no choice , but leaveth that to the company she keepeth . time , which by degrees addeth to the signification of words , hath made her , according to modern stile , little better than one who thinketh it a rudeness to deny , when civilly required , either her service in person , or her friendly assistance , to those who would have a meeting or want a confident . she is a certain thing always at hand , an easie companion , who hath ever great compassion for distressed lovers : she censureth nothing but rigour , and is never without a plaister for a wounded reputation , in which chiefly lieth her skill in chirurgery : she seldom hath the propriety of any particular gallant , but liveth upon brokage , and waiteth for the scraps her friends are content to leave her . there is another character not quite so criminal , yet not less ridiculous ; which is that of a good-humour'd woman , one who thinketh she must always be in a laugh , or a broad smile ; and because good-humour is an obliging quality , thinketh it less ill-manners to talk impertinently , than to be silent in company . when such a prating engine rideth admiral , and carrieth the lanthorn in a circle of fools , a cheerful coxcomb coming in for a recruit , the chattering of monkeys is a better noise than such a concert of senceless merriment : if she is applauded in it , she is so encouraged , that , like a ballad singer , who , if commended , breaketh his lungs , she letteth her self loose , and overfloweth upon the company . she conceiveth that mirth is to have no intermission , and therefore she will carry it about with her , though it be to a funeral ; and if a man should put a familiar question , she doth not know very well how to be angry , for then she would be no more that pretty thing called a good humour'd woman . this necessity of appearing at all times to be infinitely pleased , is a grievous mistake ; since in a handsom woman that invitation is unnecessary ; and in one who is not so , ridiculous . it is not intended by this , that you should forswear laughing ; but remember , that fools being always painted in that posture it may fright those who are wise from doing it too frequently , and going too near a copy which is so little inviting , and much more from doing it loud , which is an unnatural sound , and looketh so much like another sex , that few things are more offensive . that boistrous kind of follity is as contrary to wit and good manners , as it is to modesty and vertue ; besides , it is a course kind of quality , that throweth a woman into a lower form , and degradeth her from the rank of those who are more refined . some ladies speak aloud and make a noise to be the more minded , which looketh as if they beat their drums for voluntiers , and if by misfortune none come in to them , they may , not without reason , be a good deal out of countenance . there is yet one thing more to be avoided , which is the example of those who intend nothing farther than the vanity of conquest , and think themselves secure of not having their honour tainted by it . some are apt to believe their vertue is too obscure , and not enough known , except it is exposed to a broader light , and set out to its best advantage , by some publick trials ; these are dangerous experiments , and generally fail , being built upon so weak a foundation , as that of too great confidence in our selves ; it is as safe to play with fire , as to dally with gallantry . love is a passion that hath friends in the garrison , and for that reason must by a woman be kept at such a distance , that she may not be within the danger of doing the most usual thing in the world , which is conspiring against her self , else the humble gallant , who is only admitted as a trophy , very often becometh the conquerour ; he putteth on the style of victory , and from an admirer groweth into a master , for so he may be called from the moment he is in possession . the first resolutions of stopping at good opinion and esteem , grow weaker by degrees against the charms of courtship skillfully applyed . a lady is apt to think a man speaketh so much reason whilst he is commending her , that she hath much ado to believe him in the wrong when he is making love to her , and when besides the natural inducements your sex hath to be merciful , she is bribed by well-chosen flattery , the poor creature is in danger of being caught like a bird listening to the whistle of one that hath a snare for it . conquest is so tempting a thing , that it often maketh women mistake mens submissions ; which with all their fair appearances , have generally less respect than art in them . you are to remember , that men who say extream fine things , many times say them most for their own sakes , and that the vain gallant is often as well pleased with his own compliments , as he could be with the kindest answer ; where there is not that ostentation you are to suspect there is a design ; and as strong perfumes are seldom used but when they are necessary to smother an unwelcome scent ; so excess of good words , leave room to believe they are strewed to cover something which is to gain admittance under a disguise : you must be therefore upon your guard , and consider , that of the two , respect is more dangerous than anger , it puts even the best understandings out of their place , till the time of their second thoughts restore them ; it stealeth upon us insensibly , throweth down our defences , and maketh it too late to resist , after we have given it that advantage , whereas railing goeth away in sound , it hath so much noise in it , that by giving warning it bespeaketh caution . respect is a flow and sure poison , and like poison swelleth us within our selves , where it prevaileth too much , it groweth to be a kind of apoplexia in the mind , turneth it quite round , and after it hath once seized the understanding , becometh mortal to it : for these reasons , the safest way is to treat it like a fly enemy , and be perpetually upon the watch against it . i will add one advice to conclude this head , which is , that you will let every seven years make some alteration in you towards the graves side , and not be like the girls of fifty , who resolve to be always young , what ever time with his iron teeth hath determined to the contrary ; unnatural things carry a deformity in them never to the disguised ; the liveliness of youth in a riper age , looketh like an old patch upon a new gown ; so that a gay matron , a chearful old fool may be reasonably put into the list of the tamer kind of monsters : there is a certain creature call'd a grave hobby-horse , a kind of she numps , that pretendeth to be pulled to a play , and must needs go to bartholomew-fair , to look after the young folks , of whom she onely seemeth to take care , when in reality she onely taketh them for her excuse ; such an old butterfly is of all creatures the most ridiculous , and the soonest found out . it is good to be early in your caution , to avoid any thing that cometh within distance of such despicable patterns , and not like some ladies , who defer their conversion , till they have been so long in possession of being laughed at , that the world doth not know how to change their style , even when they are reclaimed from that which gave the first occasion for it ; the advantages of being reserved are too many to be set down , i will only say , that it is a guard to a good woman , and a disguise to an ill one . it is of so much use to both , that those ought to use it as an artifice , who refuse to practise it as a vertue . friendships . i must in a particular manner recommend to you a strict care in the choice of your friends ; perhaps the best are not without their objections , but however , be sure that yours may not stray from the rules which the wiser part of the world hath set to them ; the leagues offensive and defensive , seldom hold in politicks , and much less is friendships ; the violent intimacies , when once broken , of which they scarce ever fail , make such a noise , the bag of secrets untied , they fly about like birds let loose from a cage , and become the entertainment of the town . besides , these great dearnesses by degrees grow injurious to the rest of your acquaintance , and throw them off from you : there is such an offensive distinction when the dear friend cometh into the room , that it is flinging stones at the company , who are not apt to forgive it . do not lay out your friendship too lavishly at first , since it will , like other things , be so much the sooner spent ; neither let it be of too quick a growth ; for as the plants which shoot up too fast are not of that continuance , as those which take more time for it ; so too swift a progress in pouring out your kindness , is a certain sign that by the course of nature it will not be long-lived . you will be responsible to the world , if you pitch upon such friends as at the same time are under the weight of any criminal objection ; in that case you will bring your self under the disadvantages of their character , and must bear your part of it . chusing implieth approving ; and if you fix upon a lady for your friend against whom the world shall have given judgment , 't is not so well natur'd as to believe you are altogether averse to her way of living , since it doth not discourage you from admitting her into your kindness ; and resemblance of inclinations being thought none of the least inducements to friendship , you will be looked upon at least as a well-wisher if not a partner with her in her faults : if you can forgive them in another , it may be presumed you will not be less gentle to your self ; and therefore you must not take it ill , if you are reckoned a croupiere , and condemned to pay an equal share with such a friend of the reputation she hath lost . if it hapneth that your friend should fall from the state of innocence after your kindness was engaged to her , you may be slow in your belief in the beginning of the discovery ; but as soon as you are convinced by a rational evidence , you must , without breaking too rughly , make a fair and quick retreat from such a mistaken acquaintance ; else by moving too slowly from one that is so tainted , the contagion may reach you so far as to give you part of the scandal , though not of the guilt . this matter is so nice , that as you must not be too hasty to joyn in the censure upon your friend when she is accused , so you are not on the other side to defend her with too much warmth ; for if she should happen to deserve the report of common fame , besides the vexation that belongeth to such a mistake , you will draw an ill appearance upon your self , and it will be thought you pleaded for her not without some consideration of your self . the angel which must be put on to vindicate the reputation of an injured friend , may incline the company to suspect you would not be so zealous , if there was not a possibility that the case might be your own : for this reason you are not to carry your dearness so far , as absolutely to lose your sight where your friend is concerned : because malice is too quick-sighted , it doth not follow , that friendship must be blind : there is to be a mean between those extreams , else your excuse of good nature may betray you into a very ridiculous figure , and by degrees may be preferr'd to such offices as you will not be proud of . your ignorance may lessen the guilt , but will improve the jest upon you , who shall be kindly sollicitous to procure a meeting , and innocently contribute to the ills you would avoid ; whilst the contriving lovers , when they are alone , shall make you the subject of their mirth , and perhaps ( with respect to the goddess of love be it spoken ) it is not the worst part of their entertainment , at least it is the most lasting , to laugh at the believing friend , who was so easily deluded . let the good sense of your friends be a chief ingredient in your choice of them ; else let your reputation be never so clear , it may be clouded by their impertinence . it is like our houses being in the power of a drunken and careless neighbour ; only so much worse , as that there will be no insurance here to make you amends , as there is in the case of fire . to conclude this paragraph ; if formality is to be allowed in any instance , it is to be put on to resist the intrusion of such forward women as shall press themselves into your friendship , where , if admitted , they will be either a snare or an incumbrance . censure . it will come next to your consideration , how you are to mannage your censure ; in which both care and skill will be a good deal required , to distinguish is not only natural but necessary ; and the effect of it is , that we cannot avoid giving judgment in our minds , either to absolve or to condemn as the cafe requireth . the difficulty is , to know where and when it is proper to proclaim the sentence . an aversion to what is criminal , and a contempt of what is ridiculous , are the inseparable companions of understanding and vertue ; but the letting them go farther than our own thoughts , hath so much danger in it , that though it is neither possible nor fit to suppress them intirely , yet it is necessary they should be kept under great restraints . an unlimited liberty of this kind is little less than sending a herald to proclaim war to the world , which is an angry beast when so provoked : the contest will be unequal , though you are never so much in the right ; and if you begin against such an adversary , it will tear you in pieces , and with this justification , that it is done in its own defence . you must therefore take heed of laughing , except in company that is very sure ; it is throwing snow-balls against bullets ; and it is the disadvantage of a woman , that the malice of the world will help the brutality of those who will throw a slovenly untruth upon her . you are for this reason to suppress your impatience ; for fools , ( which besides that they are too strong a party to be unnecessarily provoked ) are , and of all other the most dangerous . in this case , a blockhead in his rage will return a dull iest , which will lie heavy , though there is not a grain of wit in it . others will do it with more art , and you must not think your self secure because your reputation may perhaps be out of reach of ill-will ; for if it findeth that part guarded , it will seek one which is more exposed ; it flieth , like a corrupt humour in the body , to the weakest part : if you have a tender side , the world will be sure to find it , and to put the worst colour on all you say or do , give an aggravation to every thing that may lessen you , and a spiteful turn to every thing that might recommend you . anger laieth open those defects which friendship would not see , and civility would be willing to forget . malice needeth no such invitation to encourage it , neither are any pains more superfluous than those we take to be ill spoken of . if envy , which never dyeth , and seldom sleepeth , is content sometimes to be in a slumber , it is very unskilful to make a noise to awaken it : besides , your wit will be misapplied in it , if it is wholly directed to discern the faults of others , when it is so necessary to be so often used to mend and prevent your own . the sending our thoughts too much abroad , hath the same effect , as when a family never stayeth at home ; neglect and disorder naturally followeth ; naturally followeth ; as it must do within our selves , if we do not frequently turn our eyes inwards , to see what is amiss with us , where it is a sign we have an unwelcome prospect , when we do not care to look upon it , but rather seek our consolations in the faults of those we converse with . avoid being the first in fixing a hard censure , but let it be confirmed by the general voice , before you give credit to it : neither are you then to give sentence like a magistrate , or as if you had a special authority to bestow a good or ill name at your discretion . do not dwell too long upon a weak side , touch and go away ; take pleasure to stay longer where you can commend , like bees that fix only upon those herbs out of which they may extract the juice of which their honey is composed . a vertue stuck with bristles is too rough for this age ; it must be adorned with some flowers , or else it will be unwillingly entertained ; so that even where it may be fit to strike , do it like a lady , gently ; and assure your self , that where you take care to do it , you will wound others more , and hurt your self less , by soft strokes , than by being harsh or violent . the triumph of wit is to make your good nature subdue your censure ; to be quick in seeing faults , and slow in exposing them . you are to consider , that the invisible thing called a good name , is made up of the breath of numbers that speak well of you ; so that if by a disobliging word you silence the meanest , the gale will be less strong which is to bear up your esteem . and though nothing is so vain as the eager pursuit of empty applause , yet to be well thought of , and to be kindly used by the world , is like a glory about a womans head ; 't is a perfume she carrieth about with her , and leaveth where-ever she goeth ; 't is a charm against ill-will ; malice may empty her quiver , but cannot wound ; the dirt will not stick , the jests will not take : without the consent of the world , a scandal doth not go deep ; it is only a slight stroke upon the party injured , and returneth with the greater force upon those that gave it . vanity and affectation . i must with more than ordinary earnestness give you caution against vanity , it being the fault to which your sex seemeth to be the most inclined , and since affectation for the most part attendeth it , i do not know how to divide them : i will not call them twins , because more properly vanity is the mother , and affectation the darling daughter : vanity is the sin , and affectation the punishment ; the first may be called the root of self-love , the other the fruit ; vanity is never at its full growth till it spreadeth into affectation , and then it is compleat . not to dwell any longer upon the definition of them , i will pass to the means and motives to avoid them : in order to it , you are to consider , that the world challengeth the right of distributing esteem and applause ; so that where any assume by their single authority , to be their own carvers ; it groweth angry , and never faileth to seek revenge ; and if we may measure a fault by the greatness of the penalty , there are few of a higher size than vanity , as there is scarce a punishment which can be heavier than that of being laughed at . vanity maketh a woman tainted with it , so top-ful of her self , that she spilleth it upon the company ; and because her own thoughts are intirely imployed in self-contemplation ; she endeavoureth , by a cruel mistake , to confine her acquaintance to the same narrow circle of that which only concerneth her ladiship , forgetting that she is not of half that importance to the world , that she is to her self , so mistaken she is in her value , by being her own appraiser ; she will fetch such a compass in discourse to bring in her beloved self , and rather than fail , her fine petty-coat , that there can hardly be a better scene than such a tryal of ridiculous ingenuity : it is a pleasure to see her angle for commendation , and rise so dissatisfied with the ill-bred company , if they will not bite . to observe her throwing her eyes about to fetch in prisoners , and go about cruizing like a privateer , and so out of countenance , if she return without booty , is no ill piece of comedy : she is so eager to draw respect , that she always misseth it , yet thinketh it so much her due , that when she faileth she groweth waspish , not considering , that it is impossible to commit a rape upon the will. that is must be fairly gained , and will not be taken by storm ; and that in this case , the tax ever riseth highest by a benevolence . if the world instead of admiring her imaginary excellencies , taketh the liberty to laugh at them , she appealeth from it to her self , for whom she giveth sentence , and proclaimeth it in all companies : on the other side , if incouraged by a civil word , she is so obliging , that she will give thanks for being laughed at in good language : she taketh a complement for a demonstration , and setteth it up as an evidence , even against her looking-glass ; but the good lady being all this while in a most profound ignorance of her self , forgetteth that men would not let her talk upon them , and throw so many senceless words at their heads , if they did not intend to put her person to fine and ransome for her impertinence . good words of any other lady , are so many stones thrown at her , she can by no means bear them , they make her so uneasie , that she cannot keep her seat ; but up she riseth , and goeth home half burst with anger and strait-lacing ; if by great chance she saith any thing that hath sence in it , she expecteth such an excessive rate of commendations , that to her thinking the company ever riseth in her debt ; she looketh upon rules as things made for the common people , and not for persons of her rank ; and this opinion sometimes provokes her to extend her prerogative to the dispencing with the commandments : if by great fortune she happeneth , in spite of her vanity , to be honest , she is so troublesome with it , that as far as in her lieth , she maketh a scurvy thing of it ; her bragging of her vertue , looketh as if it cost her so much pains to get the better of her self , that the inferences are very ridiculous . her good humour is generally applied to the laughing at good sence . it would do one good to see how heartily she despiseth any thing that is fit for her to do . the greatest part of her fancy is laid out in chusing her gown , as her discretion is chiefly imploy'd in not paying for it . she is faithful to the fashion , to which not only her opinion , but her senses are wholly resigned ; so obsequious she is to it , that she would be ready to be reconciled even to vertue with all its faults , if she had her dancing-master's word that it was practis'd at court , to a woman so compos'd , when affectation commeth in to improve her character , it is then raised to the highest perfection . she first setteth up for a fine thing , and for that reason will distinguish her self , right or wrong , in every thing she doth . she would have it thought that she is made of so much the finer clay , and so much more sifted than ordinary , that she hath no common earth about her : to this end she must neither move nor speak like other women , because it would be vulgar ; and therefore must have a language of her own , since ordinary english is too course for her . the looking-glass in the morning dictateth to her all the motions of the day , which by how much the more studied , are so much the more mistaken . she cometh into a room as if her limbs were set on with ill-made screws , which maketh the company fear the pretty thing should leave some of its artificial person upon the floor . she doth not like her self as god almighty made her , but will have some of her own workmanship ; which is so far from making her a better thing than a woman , that it turneth her into a worse creature than a monkey . she falleth out with nature , against which she maketh war without admitting of a truce , those moments excepted in which her gallant may reconcile her to it , when she hath a mind to be soft and languishing : there is something so unnatural in that affected easiness , that her frowns could not be by many degrees so forbidding . when she would appear unreasonably humble , one may see she is so excessively proud , that there is no enduring it . there is such an impertinent smile , such a satisfied simper , when she faintly disowneth some fulsom commendation a man hapneth to bestow upon her against his conscience , that her thanks for it are more visible under such a thin disguise , than they could be if she should print them . if a handsomer woman taketh any liberty of dressing out of the ordinary rules , the mistaken lady followeth , without distinguishing the unequal pattern , and maketh her self uglier by an example misplaced ; either forgetting the privilege of good looks in another , or presuming , without sufficient reason , upon her own . her discourse is a sensless chime of empty words , a heap of complements so equally applied to differing persons , that they are neither valu'd nor believ'd . her eyes keep pace with her tongue , and are therefore always in motion ; one may discern that they generally incline to the compassionate side , and that , notwithstanding her pretence to vertue , she is gentle to distressed lovers , and ladies that are merciful . she will repeat the tender part of a play so feelingly , that the company may guess , without injustice , she was not altogether a disinteressed spectator . she thinketh that paint and sin are concealed by railing at them ; upon the latter she is less hard , and being divided between the two opposite prides of her beauty and her vertue , she is often tempted to give broad hints that some body is dying for her ; and of the two she is less unwilling to let the world think she may be sometimes profan'd , than that she is never worshipped . very great beauty may perhaps so dazle for a time , that men may not so clearly see the deformity of those . affections : but when the brightness goeth off , and that the lover's eyes are by that means set at liberty to see things as they are , he will naturally return to his lost senses , and recover the mistake into which the lady 's good looks had at first engaged him ; and being once undeceived ; ceaseth to worship that as a goddess , which he seeth is only an artificial shrine , moved by wheels and springs to delude him . such women please only like the first opening of a scene , that hath nothing to recommend it but the being new : they may be compared to flies , that have pretty shining wings for two or three hot months , but the first cold weather maketh an end of them ; so the latter season of these fluttering creatures is dismal : from their nearest friends they receive a very faint respect ; from the rest of the world , the utmost degree of contempt . let this picture supply the place of any other rules which might be given to prevent your resemblance to it . the deformity of it , well considered , is instruction enough , from the very same reason , that the fight of a drunkard is a better sermon against that vice , than the best that was ever preach'd upon that subject . pride . after having said this against vanity , i do not intend to apply the same censure to pride , well placed , and rightly defined . it is an ambiguous word ; one kind of it is as much a vertue , as the other is a vice : but we are naturally so apt to chuse the worst , that it is become dangerous to commend the best side of it . a woman is not to be proud of her fine gown ; nor when she hath less wit than her neighbours , to comfort her self that she hath more lace . some ladies put so much weight upon ornaments , that if one could see into their hearts , it would be found , that even the thoughts of death are made less heavy to them by the contemplation of their being laid out in state , and honourably attended to the grave . one may come a good deal short of such an extream , and yet still be sufficiently impertinent , by setting a wrong value upon things which ought to be used with more indifference . a lady must not appear sollicitous to ingross respect to her self , but be content with a reasonable distribution , and allow it to others , that she may have it returned to her . she is not to be troublesomly nice , nor distinguish her self by being too delicate , as if ordinary things were too course for her ; this is an unmannerly and offensive pride , and where it is practised , deserveth to be mortified , of which it seldom faileth . she is not to lean too much upon her quality , much less to despite those who are below it . some make quality an idol , and then their reason must fall down and worship it ; they would have the world think , that no amends can ever be made for the want of a great title , or ancient coat of arms : they imagine , that with these advantages they stand upon the higher ground , which maketh them look down upon merit and vertue , as things inferiour to them . this mistake is not only senseless , but criminal too , in putting a greater price upon that which is a piece of good luck , than upon things which are valuable in themselves . laughing is not enough for such a folly ; it must be severely whipped , as it justly deserves . it will be confessed , there are frequent temptations given by pert upstarts to be angry , and by that to have our judgment corrupted in these cases ; but they are to be resisted , and the utmost that is to be allowed , is , when those of a new edition will forget themselves , so as either to brag of their weak side , or to endeavour to hide their meanness by their insolence ; to cure them by a little seasonable raillery , a little sharpness well placed , without dwelling too long upon it . these and many other kinds of pride are to be avoided . that which is to be recommended to you , is , an emulation to raise your self to a character , by which you may be distinguished , an eagerness for precedence in vertue , and all such other things as may gain you a greater share in the good opinion of the world. esteem to vertue is like a cherishing air to plants and flowers , which maketh them blow and prosper ; and for that reason it may be allowed to be in some degree the cause as well as the reward of it . that pride which leadeth to a good end , cannot be a vice , since it is the beginning of a vertue ; and to be pleased with just applause , is so far from being a fault , that it would be an ill symptom in a woman , who should not place the greatest part of her satisfaction in it . humility is no doubt a great vertue ; but it ceaseth to be so , when it is afraid to scorn an ill thing . against vice and folly it is becoming your sex to be haughty ; but you must not carry the contempt of things to arrogance towards persons , and it must be done with fitting distinctions , else it may be inconvenient by being unseasonable . a pride that raiseth a little anger to be out-done in any thing that is good , will have so good an effect , that it is very hard to allow it to be a fault . it is no easie matter to carry even between these differing kinds so described ; but remember , that it is safer for a woman to be thought too proud , than too familiar . diversions . the last thing i shall recommend to you , is a wise and safe method of using diversions ; to be too eager in the pursuit of pleasure whilst you are young , is dangerous ; to catch at it in riper years , is grasping a shadow that will not be held ; besides , that by being less natural it groweth to be indecent ; diversions are the most properly to be applied , to ease and relieve those who are oppressed , by being too much imployed ; those that are idle have no need of them , and have no need of them , and yet they above all others give themselves up to them . to unbend our thoughts , when they are too much stretched by our cares , is not more natural than it is necessary , but to turn our whole life into a holy-day , is not only ridiculous , but destroyeth pleasure instead of promoting it ; the mind like the body is tired by being always in one posture , too serious breaketh it , and too diverting looseneth it : it is variety that giveth the relish , so that diversions too frequently reaped , grow first to be in indifferent , and at last tedious ; whilst they are well chosen and well timed , they are never to be blamed ; but when they are used to an excess , though very innocent at first , they often grow to be criminal , and never fail to be impertinent : some ladies are bespoken for merry meetings , as bessus was for duels ; they are ingaged in a circle of idleness , where they turn round for the whole year , without the interruption of a serious hour ; they know all the players names , & are intimately acquainted with all the booths in bartholomew fair ; no souldier is more obedient to the sound of his captain 's trumpet , than they are to that which summoneth them either to a puppit-play or a monster ; the spring that bringeth out flies , and fools maketh them inhabitants in hide-park ; in the winter they are an incumbrance to the play-house , and the ballast of the drawing-room ; the streets all this while are so weary of these daily faces , that mens eyes are over-laid with them ; the sight is glutted with fine things as the stomach with sweet ones ; and when a fair lady will give too much of her self to the world , she groweth lushious , and oppresseth instead of pleasing . these jolly ladies do so continually seek diversion , that in a little time they grow into a jeast , yet are unwilling to remember , that if they were seldomer seen they would not be so often laughed at ; besides , they make themselves cheap , than which there cannot be an unkinder word bestowed upon your sex. to play sometimes , to entertain company , or to divert your self , is not to be disallowed , but to do it so often as to be called a gamester , is to be avoided , next to the things that are most criminal . it hath consequences of several kinds not to be indured ; it will ingage you into a habit of idleness and ill hours , draw you into ill mixed company , make you neglect your civilities abroad , and your business at home , and impose into your acquaintance such as will do you no credit . to deep play there will be yet greater objections ; it will give occasion to the world to ask spiteful questions , how you dare venture to lose , and what means you have to pay such great sums . if you pay exactly , it will be enquired from whence the money cometh ; if you owe , and especially to a man , you must be so very civil to him for his forbearance , that it layeth a ground of having it farther improved if the gentleman is so disposed , who will be thought no unfair creditor , if where the estate faileth he seizeth upon the person ; besides , if a lady could see her own face upon an ill game , at a deep stake , she would certainly forswear any thing that could put her looks under such a disadvantage . dancing . to dance sometimes will not be imputed to you as a fault , but remember that the end of your learning it , was , that you might know the better how to move gracefully ; it is only an advantage so far ; when it goeth beyond it , one may call it excelling in a mistake , which is no very great commendation : it is better for a woman never to dance , because she hath no skill in it , than to do it too often , because she doth it well ; the easiest as well as the safest method of doing it , is in private companies , as amongst particular friends , and then carelesly , like a diversion ; rather than with solemnity , as if it was business , or had any thing in it to deserve a months preparation by serious conference with a danceing-master . much more might be said to all these heads , and many more might be added to them ; but i must restrain my thoughts , which are full of my dear child , and would overflow into a volume , which would not be fit for a new-years-gift . i will conclude with my warmest wishes for all that is good to you , that you may live so as to be an ornament to your family , and a pattern to your sex , that you may be blessed with a husband that may value , and with children that may inherit your vertue ; that you may shine in the world by a true light , and silence envy by deserving to be esteemed , that wit and vertue may both conspire to make you a great figure ; when they are separated , the first is so empty , and the other so faint , that they scarce have right to be commended : may they therefore meet and never part ; let them be your guardian angels , and be sure never to stray out of the distance of their joint-protection : may you so raise your character , that you may help to make the next age a better thing , and leave posterity in your debt for the advantage it shall receive by your example : let me conjure you , my dearest , to comply with this kind ambition of a father , whose thoughts are so ingaged in your behalf , that he reckoneth your happiness to be the greatest part of his own . finis . advice to a daughter in opposition to the advice to a sonne, or, directions for your better conduct through the various and most important encounters of this life ... / by eugenius theodidactus. heydon, john, b. 1629. this text is an enriched version of the tcp digital transcription a43491 of text r9980 in the english short title catalog (wing h1664). textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. the text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with morphadorner. the annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. this text has not been fully proofread approx. 217 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 107 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. earlyprint project evanston,il, notre dame, in, st. louis, mo 2017 a43491 wing h1664 estc r9980 12253534 ocm 12253534 57224 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a43491) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 57224) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 147:7) advice to a daughter in opposition to the advice to a sonne, or, directions for your better conduct through the various and most important encounters of this life ... / by eugenius theodidactus. heydon, john, b. 1629. [20], 208 [i.e. 191] p. printed by j. moxon for francis cossinet ..., london : 1658. attributed to john heydon. cf. bm. reproduction of original in huntington library. eng osborne, francis, 1593-1659. -advice to a son. young women -conduct of life -early works to 1800. a43491 r9980 (wing h1664). civilwar no advice to a daughter. in opposition to the advice to a sonne. or directions for your better conduct through the various and most important e [no entry] 1658 40039 31 15 0 0 0 0 11 c the rate of 11 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the c category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2008-09 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2008-11 spi global keyed and coded from proquest page images 2008-12 megan marion sampled and proofread 2008-12 megan marion text and markup reviewed and edited 2009-02 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion advice to a daughter . in opposition to the advice to a sonne . or directions for your better conduct through the various and most important encounters of this life . under these generall heads , i. studies , &c. ii. love and marriage . iii. travell . iiii. government . v. religion . conclusion . by eugenius theodidactus . london . printed by j. moxon , for francis cossinet , at the golden anchor in tower street , at mincheon lane end . 1658. to the excellently accomplished gentleman , mr. charles brvton , cittizen , and marchant adventurer of london , &c. much honoured sir . i here trouble you with a short discourse ; it is no laboured peece , and indeed no fit present ; but i beg your acceptance . the first time i ever saw the advice to a son , was the last day of hillary term ; i read it , and found it full of bitterness against women ; and indeed they were shamefully wronged and abused . i shuff'd up this answer in sixteen dayes , for your spare hours ; in which you may ma●● your self merry● fur it was born this last v●cation , when i did not so much labour , as play . i found him a nameless over-worn wittal , that five times before i espied him , had adulterated the press , and abused ladies and gentlewomen ; and no man durst answer him : for so he reported . i will see what , and who , this diseased maccabee is ; this ( as yet ) unconquered enemy of women ; and defie him : and prove his discourse , and hard censure of ladies and gentlewomen like the blasts of rams horns before the walls of jericho ; that throwes down the reputation of ladies at one utterance . i know you are great ; but yet there is a better title , you are good . i might have fixed this peece to a pinacle , made the dedication high ; but to what purpose ? greatness is a thing i cannot admire in others ; because i desire it not in my self : it is a proud folly , a ceremonious fancy : there is nothing necessary in it : for most men live without it : and i may not apply to that which my reason declines , aswell as my fortune . the truth is , i know no use of hooghen mooghens , and tituladoes : if they are in a humour to give , i am no begger to receive : i look not for any thing , sir , but what the learned are inriched withall , judgement and candor : you are a true friend to both , and to my third self . and for my present boldness , you may thank your self ; you taught me this familiarity , and you may see what unprofitable affections you have purchased . i propose nothing for your instruction ; nature hath done her part ; and i would make you my judge , not my pupill : if therefore amongst your serious and more dear retirements , you can allow this trifle but some few minutes , and think them not lost ; you will perfect my ambition , you will place me ( sir ) at my full height ; and though it were like that of statius amongst gods and stars ; i shall quickly find the earth again , and with the least opportunity present my self , sir , your most humble servant . eugenius theodidactus : march 26. 1658. to the book , and reader . and now my book , let it not stop thy flight , that thy just author is not lord or knight . i can define my self , and have the art still to present one face , and still one heart . but for nine years some great ones cannot see what they have been , nor know they what to bee . what though i have no rattle to my name ? do'st hold a simple honesty no fame ? or art thou such a stranger to the time , thou canst not know my fortune from my crime ? go forth , and fear not : some will gladly bee thy learned friends , whom i did never see . nor shouldst thou fear thy welcome , thy small price cannot undo 'em , though they pay excise . thy bulks not great ; it will not much distress their empty pockets , but their studies dress . th'art no galeon , as books of burthen bee , which cannot ride but in a library : th'art a fine thing , and little : it may chance ladies will buy thee for a new romance : and this perhaps may sometimes move their laughter that thou art call'd advice unto a daughter . oh how i 'le envy thee ! when thou art spread in the bright sun-shine of their eyes , and read with breath of amber , lips of rose , that lend perfumes unto thy leaves , shall never spend . when from their white hands they shall let thee fall into their bosome , ( which i may not call ought of misfortune ) thou dost drop to rest . in a more pleasing place , and art more blest there , in some silken soft fold thou shalt lye hid like their love , or thy own allegorie . nor shouldst thou grieve thy language is not fine , for sixteen dayes hath made this book of mine . i could have voy●'d thee forth in such a dress the spring had been a slut to thy express ; such as might file the rude unpolish'd age , and fix the readers soul to every page . but i have us'd a course and homely strain , because it suits with truth , which should be plain . last , my dear book , if readers look on thee as on three suns , or some great prodigie ; and swear to a full point , i do deride all other sects , to publish my own pride . tell such they lye . and since they love not thee , bid them go learn some high-shoe heresie . nature is not so simple but she can procure a sollid reverence from man : nor is my pen so lightly plum'd that i should serve ambition with her majesty . t is womens vertue i do tell abroad , for women-angels are sent us from the lord . this truth makes mee come forth , and having writ this her short scaence , i would not stifle it ; for i have call'd it childe , and i had rather see 't torn by them , then strangled by the father . e. i. to his daughter . daughter , i have forborn to set your name on the fore head of these aphorisms ; not that i am ashamed either of them , or you : but because your enemy and his son , have done so before me . and such old men as these i accept against , as a generation of decrepit and withered understandings : people whose minds , could they be looked into , would prove infinitely more monstrous then their bodies ; and such as like monkies , having either gnawed away or lost their tayles , read lectures and advices to young ones to cut theirs too . first , we give to all the vertues the habits and visages of women : and of all the vertues truth is the best ; ( for truth is the mother of justice , and justice ( they say ) comprehends them all : yet she is naked , though she love the publike , and hate corners : and is it not very fit that all the sex should imitate such an excellent pattern and mistress ? in this light humour i am in , i think we can do no greater right to women , then to bring them to be judged by one rule . and since every woman judges her self the fairest ; shee that would be backward to this arbitriment , would be diffident of her self ; and consequently a rennegade from her sex . next , take care of the subtle devices of men : and consider their designes , which may be more loving to your portion , then your person : all people having not the same conceptions of beauty ; which is as hatefull to an ethiopian , as black is to us : not considering that women uncloathed are all alike ; and the conceptions about the harmony and measures of her body differ not . yet i advise you not to follow the example of a princess appearing in a lawn smock , to be veiwed by embassadours , as towards a marriage● said , she would put off that too , if there were any necessity . but custome hath made cloaths decent . the deeds of our ancestors , are not to be slighted ; for they left them for our example ; and used in their days abundance of cheaper artificiall ornaments , from shels , feathers , and stones . behold the sun and moon , and all the glorious batalia of heaven ; and they appear as the great god and nature made them ; to which god and nature , i am servant and secretary . this will not produce such infinite provocations and incitements to lust as the advice to a son fondly conceives . but i say not . for i dare say , that what by painting , what by the looseness and change of garments , what by these gaudy inventions of dressings , that flexure and fracture of gate , the deformity is hidden : unless to a very nice eye , there is much more fuell added , then if all went with no more mantles , scarfes , gowns , and hoods , then nature thrust them into the world with , viz. hair hanging loosely down , or else carelesly gathered up in a fillet ; and perhaps some little kind of cover , that might restrain , the virginall flower , from being too much gazed at , and blown upon . follow not ( daughter ) their fashion that uncover the parts of their chiefest beauty , as their face , neck , breasts and hand , as the index to the more secret object ; which without a signe may be by the guide of humane nature sound out : so that women do endeavour in part to break that restraint which bides the rest of their glory , and to set forth their delicate dresses , plaited and weaved with such variety , their ivory necks , their harmonious faces , their milkie spherical breasts , and their melting hands : my advice is to shew all , or nothing . daughter though some crazy ignorant old welch owens , with powder dried bones , fit to be burnt , with diseases , hath endeavoured to deceive you from the same species , with men ; and one madder then they , denie you souls ; and so have many others : yet when we shall oppose holy scripture , which makes man the consummation of the creation ; and you the consummation of man : if i should but instance those particular indulgencies of nature which john heydon reckons unto you , and those peculiar advantages of composition and understanding he ascribes to you ; or if i should mention that of eugenius theodidactus , that friend to the fraternity of the rosie cross , and beleeved to be inspired , and so thought a rosie crusian ; he ( i say ) calls you fountains and perfections of goodness : whom ( daughter ) can we imagine to be so insensible as not to be presently touched with the delicate composure and symmetry of womens bodies ? the sweetness and killing languors of their eyes ? the mestange and harmony of their colours ? the happiness and spirituallity of their countenance ? the charms and allurements of their mind ? the air and command of their smiles ? men are meerly rough cast , bristly , and made up of tough materials : and if they approach any thing near beauty , do so much degenerate from what they are . how generall is the affection of old men to women ? some i have known of three score to marry girles of sixteen . soloman was no fool ; and it is well known , how your sex tempted him ; that his power commanded you to fulfill his desires . and i only advise you to wisdome and vertue . and if any clumsy old doting wittall , blinded with ignorance , and by his own wofull experience shall protest against the sufficiency of these , or any thing else i have written , or shall write for your better instructions , that may perhaps hereafter be made publike ; he wilfully goes about to councel his master ; and adventures to make the sun stand still ; and to run another race . for your sake i set pen to paper , to teach you how to live ; that to die you need not fear . the world is full of deceit : trust not therefore the hot love of a stranger : for if you will expose your self to all , you are slighted : and a common wife is hated . beauty affords contentment ; riches are meanes to cure a weak estate : honour illustrates all comes nigh it . if you marry thus , you are happy ; and then to find worth , carriage gesture and grace , in your choyce , it perfects felicity . these things in this book are written for your instruction ; hopeing you will excuse my faults ; which through hast and other infirmity are committed . a more leasure time may perfect what is here charactered in water colours : and you may easily perceive , that i consulted not at all with advantaging my name , or wooing publike esteem by what i now write . i know there was much of naked truth in it ; and is a caution given to you , from your loving father . &c. {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} march 26 1658. advige to a daughter . in opposition to the advice to a sonne . who is this that darkneth councel , by words without knowledge ? come thou embrio of a history , thou cadet of a pamphleteer ; gird up thy loins like a man , for i will demand of thee , and answer thou me . but now i think upon it , i will allow thee time to breath , after thy late bawling those fragments of a prophane atheistical old pamphlet , intituled thy advice to a son , and speak a few words to my reader . reader , i have met with a thing ; it is not named , it speaks like a man , and yet abuses women : it is the first tincture and rudiments of a vvriter , dipped as yet in the preparative blew , like an almanack well-wilier . to call him an historian , is to knight a mandrake ; to say he is a politician , is view him throw a perspective , and by that gross hyperbole to give the reputation of an engineer to a maker of mouse-traps . he is such an one as queen mabbs register : one , who by the same figure that a north country pedlar is a marchant man , you may stile an author : there goes his affection , which is the heliotrope to the sun of honour ; and hath long since abjured his god , religion , conscience , and all that shall interpose and skreen him from those beams that may ripen his wishes and aims into injoyments . and now have at his advice to a son . come thou relique of a politician , that five times at least ( by i know not what ignis fatuus hast adulterated the presse : and have you so much policy in your advice to your son that the readers mistake your name , and beleeve you to be the tripple-headed turn-key of heaven ? behold his directions . for your better conduct through the various and most important encounters of this life : under the five general heads ( i will cut off ) and you will think him the triple-headed porter of hell . ladies , fear him not , i am your champion ; little david will fight goliah . i scorne to kill him , i 'le only box him , kick and cudgel him for his boldness : and let him know , he is the better man who hath besiedged and taken a town , not plotted to rob an orchard , and for all his subtleties was vvhipt . but i must read first , and write afterwards . here comes the pedee of a romancer , with his advice to a son ; 't is the indorsement to the packet , like a fine knot to a fine bundle : come , let 's open in the name of good sence : oh! how it smells like a diseased peece of an apocripha taken out of guzman's rags , or burnt bones . vvhat saies this father to his son ? 1. though i can never pay enough to your grandfathers memory , for his tender care in my education ; yet i must observe in it this mistake ; that by keeping me at home , where i was one of my young masters , i lost the advantage of my most docile time . for not undergoing the same discipline , i must needs come short of their experience that are bred up in free schools ; who by plotting to rob an orchard &c. 1. here he complains of the losse of those times which i could wish i had not known . daughter , i would have you as good as i could fancy one : and three things i would have you know ; first , your own misery ; secondly , gods love ; thirdly , your thankfull obedience : your misery . how just ? gods love , how free ? how undeserved ? your thankfullnesse , how due ? how necessary ? consideration of one , successively begets the apprehension of all : your condition shews you his love ; his love calls for your acknowledgement : want makes a bounty weightier . 2. as your education hath been befriended by a foundation ; so you may endeavour a requital , if god makes you able : however let not the contrary afflict you , since it is observed by some , that his name who burnt the temple of diana , out-lasted theirs that built it . &c. 2. answer , of education i say thus much , it is seen every where : if you travel but from white hall to exeter , or from a village to an accademy ; or see but a horse well manag'd , and another resty in his own fierceness . dyet no question alters much ; even the giddy airyness of the french , i shall rather impute to their dyet of vvine and wild foul , then to the difference of their clime ; it being so neer an adjoyner to ours . and ▪ in england , i beleeve our much use of strong beer , and gross flesh is a great occasion of dregging our spirits , and corrupting them till they shorten life . age is also a changer ; man hath a zenith , as well in vvit as in ability of body ; he grows from sence to reason , and then again declines to dotage , and to imbecillity : youth is too young in brain ; and age again , does drain away the spirits : passion blunts the edge of conceit , and where there is much sorrow the mind is dull and unperceiving ; the soul is oppressed , and lies languishing in an unsociable loneliness , till it proves stupid and inhumane : nor do these more alter the mind then the body . vveigh every mans education as his means have been : a man may look in vain for courtship in a plow man , or learning in a mechanick . vvho would expect a lame man should run swiftly ? or that a sick man should deliver an oration with a grace and cheerfullness ? if you find any man failing in his manners , you must consider his means , before you censure the man : and one that is short of what he might be , by his sloath and negligence , you must think as justly blameable , as he that out of his industry hath adorned his behaviour above his means , is commendable . 3. let not an over-passionate prosecution of learning ( saith he ) draw you from making an honest improvement of your estate ; as such do who are better read in the bignesse of the whole earth , then in that little spot left them by their friends , for their support . 3. i answer . ( you clumsie epithite ) nothing wraps a man in such a mist of errors , as his own curiositie in twisting himself into things above him . how happily do they live , that know nothing but what is necessary ? your knowledge doth but shew your ignorance ; your most studious scrutenies is but a discovery of what the spirit knew before it was imbodied : you find the effect , but not the cause . besides , if i must describe a meer scholer , he is an intellegible asse , or silly fellow in black , that speaks sentences more familiarly then sence , and latine better then his mother tongue ; but is a stranger to no countrie but his own ; he is ambitious , and tells great stories of himself , to no purpose , for they are commonly ridiculous , be they true or false ; doubtless he is a graduate ; but if ever he get a fellowship , he hath then no fellow : in spight of all logick he dares swear and maintain it , that a cuckold and a towns-man are termini convertibiles , though his mothers husband and the father of the advice to a son's father , be aldermen in the singular number : he cannot but wrangle with harmless vvomen : his tongue goes alwaies before his vvit , like the gentleman usher , but abundance faster : he is long-winded , and able to speak more with ease , than any man can endure to hear with patience : university jests are his universal discourse ; and his news the demeanour of the proctors : his phrase ( the apparel of his mind ) is made of divers shreds like a cushion , and when it goeth plainest it hath a rash out-side , and fustian linings ; the current of his speech is clos'd with an ergo : and what ever be the question , the truth is on his side : 't is a wrong to his reputation to be ignorant in any thing , and yet he knows not that he knows nothing : he gives directions for husbandry from virgils georgicks , for cattle from his bucolicks : he would be thought as great a duellist as heydon , and as stout a fighter : he speaks of warlike stratagems from his eucides , or ceasars commentaries : he orders all things , and thrives by none : he is led more by his ears then his understanding , taking the empty sound of words for their true sence ; and does therefore confidently say , that aera pater was the father of hereticks ; rodolphus agricola a substantial farmer ; and will aver that systimo's logick doth excell kickermans : his ill luck is not so much in being a fool , as in being put to such pains to express it to the world ; for what in others is natural , in him ( with much adoe ) is artificial : his poverty is his happiness , for it makes men beleeve he is an honest man : that learning that he hath was put in backward , like a clister ; and is now like ware mis-laid in a pedlars pack , he has it , but knows not where it is . and this is the index of a man , and the title page of his father : a new religion in morality ; much in profession , nothing in practise . 4. his father sayes , a mixt education suits imployment best : scholers and cittzens by a too long plodding in the same track , have their experience seldom dilated beyond the circle of a narrow profession , &c. i answer , there is no syntax between a cap of maintainance , and a helmet : although we have caution enough against these mixt multitudes in sad and frequent experience ; these latter ages groaning under an exorbitant clergy . yet such is the easiness and credulity of the vulgar , such the subtilety and dissembling sanctity of the imposture , that he meets with as great a pronesse in the people to be cozen'd , as he brings willingnesse to delude . for it is a true observation , that these clancular sermocinators bear as great sway in popular minds , and make as deep impression upon their consciences , as the loyalists does when they impose upon their blind layty . i suspect this clerical statist , that makes him that cannot deceive , ignorant how to live . 5. i have observed in collegiate discipline , &c : i answer , here he fancies the habite of the jesuites , as the principal men to perfect patience and obedience in youth ; when i suspect him in the dispensation of sacred oracles , who ( as it is said ) tampers with secular affairs of no concernment to his auditors souls : but this discipline is the common skreen of his private designe . 6. if a more profitable imployment pull you not too soon from the vniversity , &c. i answer , here he would have his son make some inspection into physick , which will make him welcome : if he know but how to make a suppository to please a lady , he will be reverenced beyond a holy father , or the vicar of the parish . 7. do not prosecute beyond a superficial knowledge , any learning that moves upon no stronger legs , then the tottering basis of conjecture is able to afford it , &c. i answer , learning is like a river ( sir , ) whose head being far in the land , is at the first rising little , and easily veiwed , but still as you go it gapeth with a wider bank ; not without pleasure and a delightfull winding , while it is on both sides set with trees , and the beauties of various flowers ; but still the further you follow it the deeper and broader it is , till at last it in waves it self in the unfathom'd ocean . in many things you may sound nature in the shallows of her revelations ; we may trace her in her second causes ; but beyond them we meet with nothing but the misteries of the holy company of un-bodied souls , which have , and some not yet have been bodied : and this puzzels your clog'd spirit , and dazels your minds dim eyes which peeps through the body . 8. huge vollumnes , like the ox roasted whole in bartholmew fair , may proclaim plenty of labour and invention ; but afford lesse of what is delicate , savory , and well concocted , then smaller peeces , &c. i answer , idle books ( like you natural knave , and artificial dissembler ) are nothing else but corrupted tales in ink and paper : and indeed your vicious books sent abroad , makes him that reads them conscious of a double injury ; they being in effect , like that bruitish sin of adultery ; for if one reads , two are catch'd . he that angles in these waters , is sure to strike the torpedo ; that instead of being his food , confounds him . besides the time ill spent in them , a twofold reason shall make you refrain , both in regard to your own soul , and pitty unto him that made them : for if you be corrupted by them , the composer of them is mediately a cause of your ill ; and at the day of reckoning ( though now dead ) must give an account for it : because you are corrupted by his bad example , which he leaves behind him : so you become guilty by receiving ; he by thus conveying this lewdnesse unto you : he is the theef , you the receiver : and what difference makes our law betwixt them ? if one be cut off , the other dyes ; both perish . write not like him , lest you hurt those that come after you : read not his books , lest you augment his mulct . a lame hand is better then a lewd pen . and his foolish sentences dropt upon paper , in advice to his son , hath set folly on a hill , and is a monument to make women infamous eternal . 9. as the grave hides the fault of physick , &c. i answer , here he commends modern authors , which i should more doubt of knavery , who for the most part subborn scripture to attest or incite to illegal actions : as of kin to that which john heydon calls very fitly religio sum scelus , religious wickedness . 10. be conversant in the speeches , declarations and transactions , occasioned by the last wars . i answer , he adviseth you to such pamphlets would hardly passe muster with a scotch stationer , in a sieve full of ballads and godly bewks , full of such reports as contradict truth , and defame a good title , as well as most of our modern noble men : those went of greatness : the body politicks most peccant humours , they blistered into lord . 11. a few books well studied , &c. i answer , some men read books ( you crampt compendium ) as gentlemen use flowers ; only for delight and smell , to please their fancy , and refine their tongue : others like the bees , extract only the hony , the wholsome precepts ; and this alone they bear away , leaving the rest , as little worth : the one of these instructs his mind , and the other tells what he hath learned ; it is pitty they should be divided . he that hath worth in him , and cannot express it , is as a chest keeping a rich jewel , and the key lost ▪ concealing goodness is vice . a good stile with wholesome matter , is a fair woman , with a vertuous soul ; which attracts the eyes of all : the good man thinks chastly , and loves her beauty for her vertue ; which he still thinks more fair , for dwelling in so fair an out-side . the vicious man hath lustfull thoughts ; and he would for her beauty , fain destroy her vertue : but comming to solicite his purpose , finds such divine lectures from her angels tongue , and those delivered with so sweet a pleasing modesty , that he thinks vertue is dissecting her soul to him , to ravish man with a beauty which he dream'd not of : so he could curse himself , for desiring that lewdly , which he hath learned since , only to admire and reverence . thus he goes away better , that came with an intent to be worse . quaint phrases on a good subject , are baits to make an ill man vertuous . how many men seeking these vilely , have found themselves convertites ? 12. it is an sphorisme in physick , &c. i answer , this concerns the wits of the town , which he advises his son to converse with , to refine his spirit , better then books : it may be so ; and i beleeve they will sell him wit dearer then stationers their books : and we know what they say of bought wit . 13. propose not them for patterns , who make all places rattle where they come , with greek and latine , &c. i answer , ( anonimus ) i should believe him a foolish jugler , that sprinkels his words in any vulgar mother-tongue , publickly with murmurs against the lawful magistrate , ecclesiastical or civil , unless he hath some better ground for his dislike , then a thwarting his humour in things controversal and adiaphorous . 14. follow not the tedious practice of such as seek wisdom onely in learning , &c. i answer ; he is pedantically conceited of his invention which is so inroll'd in policy , that it drops black and malignant influences upon tradition . 15. spend no time in reading , much less writing strong lines , &c. i answer : why so ? ( pray sir ) is it not worth your time to know the mysterious truth of natural astrology , and the strange and strong lines of the learned moses ? but there is no superstition in politicks more odious , then to stand too much upon niceties . 16. books flatly writ deface your style ; the like may be truly objected to weak preachers , &c. i answer ; the late king charles indeed had a pen more majestical then the crown he lost , ( but not as you say from experience the mistress of fooles ) for he trusted in god , and it was he that gave him a wise and an understanding heart , ( if not ) others have known as much by experience as he that are not as he was , truly inspired ; the excess which is in the defect of preaching has made the pulpit flighted , i mean the much bad oratory we find it guilty of : it is a wonder to me how men can preach so little in so long a time , as if they thought to please by their vain tautologies ; i see no reason that so high a princess as divinity is , should be presented to the people in such sordid rags of the tongue ; nor he which speaks from the father of languages , should deliver his embassage in an ill one . a man can never speak too well , where he speaks not too obscure : long and distended clauses are both tedious to the ear , and difficult for their retaining : a sentence well couched takes both the sense and the understanding ; i love not those cart-rope speeches , that are longer then the memory of man can fathom ; i see not but that divinity , put into apt significants by iohn cleveland , might ravish as well as his poetry : the weightier lines men finde upon the stage , i am perswaded have been the lures to draw away the pulpit followers : we complain of drowsiness at a sermon , when a play of a doubled length leads you on still with alacrity ; but the fault is not in our selves , if we saw divinity acted , the gesture and variety would as much invigilate . but it is too slight to be personated by humanity , the stage feeds both the ear and the eye ; and through this latter sense the soul drinks deeper draughts ; things acted possess us more and are more retainable then the passable tones of the tongue : besides , here we meet with more composed language , the dulcia sermonis put into fine phrases , though it is to be lamented such wits are not set to the right tune , and consorted to divinity , who without doubt , well deckt , will cast a far more radiant lustre , then those obscene scurrilities that the stage presents us with , though spangled in their gaudiest tire . at a sermon well drest , what understander can have a motion to sleep ? divinity well ordered casts forth a bait , which angles the soul into the ear ; and how can that close , when such a guest sits in it ? they are sermons like eugenius philalethes philosophy , which lead the eyes to slumber ; and should we hear a continued oration , upon such a subject as the stage treats on , or clevelands poems in such words as we hear some sermons , i am confident , it would not onely be far more tedious , but nauseous and contemptible . the most advantage they have of other places is in their good lines and actions ; for it is certain , cicero and rossius are most complete , when they both make but one man ; fit words are better then fine ones ; i like not those that are injudiciously made , but such as be expressively significant , that lead the mind to something besides the naked term : and he that speaks this , must not speak every day . a kemb'd oration will cost both sweat and the rubbing of the brain , and kemb'd i wish it not frizeled nor curled : divinity should not lasciviate : unwormwooded jests i like well ; but they are fitter for the tavern , then the majesty of a temple : christ taught the people with authority , gravity becomes the pulpit : i became a writer , by spending more oyl then wine , this is too fluid an element to beget substantials ; wit procured by wine , is for the most part like the sparkling in the glass , when t is filling ; they brisk it for a moment , but dye presently : i admire the valour of some men that before their studies dare ascend the pulpit , and do there take more pains then in their library ; but having done this , i wonder not that they there spend sometimes two hours but to weary the people into sleep ; and this makes fugitive divines , like cowards to run away from their text : words , matter , and gesture with admirable tongue complete a sermon . i know god hath chosen by weak things to confound the wise , yet i see not but in all times a washed language hath much prevailed , and even the scriptures were penned in hebrew , a tongue of deep expression , wherein every word hath almost a metaphorical sense , which does illustrate by some allusion . how political is moses in his pentateuch , how philosophical iob , how massy and sententious is solomon in his proverbs , how quaint and flamingly amorous in his canticles ? how grave in his ecclesiastes ? how were the jews astonied at christs doctrine ? how eloquent a pleader is paul ? he that reads the fathers , shall find them written as if with a crisped pen . i grieve that any thing so excellent as divinity should fall into such a sluttish handling ; though other interposures do eclipse her , yet this is a principal : i never knew a good tongue wanted ears to hear it , nor a well-pend book want a friend to read it . confections that are cordials are not the worse but the better for being gilded . paul saith , let no man be dark and full of shadow ; there is a way to be pleasingly plain , and some have found it : philosophy or poetry may come in and wait to please the guests with a trencher at a banquet . 17. the way to elegancy of style , is to imploy your pen upon every errand , &c. 17. this paragraph i have answered already , and do presume , that person is very rare , that can boast of such an absolute method of speech as angels have , whilest he is amongst mortals , but that there will be now and then some words fall from him , and some phrases , which confess humanity , and require candor ; some leaves in the volume of the wisest book , pen'd by the fairest life are legenda cum venia . 18. when business or complement calls you to write letters , &c. i answer , it happens sometimes , you may write to princes : should you speak to him with a complement , that the court makes better scholars then the university : for when the king vouchsafes to be a teacher , every man blushes to be a non-proficient . 19. avoid words and phrases , &c. i answer , happy will it be if you keep base company , and learn to loath their errours in your self . i commend to you for your immitation , the lines of the late king , and the proverbs of solomon , and his grave ecclesiastes , all very well pen'd . 20. the small reckoning i have seen made , &c. i answer ; no book is so meanly pen'd but that there is something in it that may teach you what you knew not before , and if you write books , let your subject be truth , and it written plainly ; for though it may prove fruitless to many , because not understood , nor regarded , yet some few may be of that spirit , as to comprehend it , and embrace it , if not openly profess it , yet secretly believe it : amplae mentis ampla flamma . 21. be not frequent in poetry , how excellent soever your vein is , &c. i answer , poets have a name of honour , nor know i how to distinguish between the prophets and poets of israel : what is ieremiahs lamentation but a kind of saphick elegy ? davids psalms are not onely poems , but songs ; snatches and raptures of a flaming spirit : and this indeed i observe to the honour of poets , i never found them covetous or scrapingly base ; they find their minds so solaced with their own flights , that they neglect the study of growing rich . 22. the art of musick , &c. i answer , whose dull bloud will not caper in his veins , when the very air he breaths in frisketh in a tickled motion ? who can but fix his eye and thoughts , when he hears the sighes and dying groans , gestured from the mournful instrument ? and i think he hath not a mind well tempered , whose zeal is not inflamed by an heavenly anthem ; so that indeed musick is good or bad , as the end to which it tendeth : surely they did mean it excellent , that made apollo , who was god of wisdom , to be god of musick also . 23. wear your clothes neat , &c. i answer : this is one in whom pride is a quality that condemnes every one besides his master , who when he wears new clothes , thinks himself wronged , if they be not observed , imitated , and his discretion in the choice of his fashion and stuff applauded : when he vouchsafes to bless the air with his presence , he goes as near the wall as his plush cloak and suit with a canvas back and sattin sleeves will give him leave : and every passenger he views under the eye-brows , to observe whether he vails his bonnet low enough , which he returns with an imperious nod : he never salutes first , but his farewell is perpetual . in his attire he is effeminate , every hair knows his own station ; which if it chance to lose , it is checkt in again with his pocket combe : he had rather have the whole common-wealth out of order then the least member of his muschato , and chuses rather to lose his patrimony , then to have his band ruffled . at a feast if he be not placed in the highest seat , he eats nothing ; howsoever he drinks to no man , talkes with no man ; and refuses the sports of hunting and hawking for fear of familiarity . as you shall hear anon , he professeth to keep his stomach for the pheasant or the quail , and when they come , he can eat little , he hath been so cloyed with them that year , although they be the first he saw . in his discourse he talkes high , the lowest man is a privy counsellor ; and is as prone to belye their acquaintance , as he is a ladies favours . and this is the author of the advice to a son , that goes to sermons onely to shew his gay clothes , and if on other inferiour days he chance to meet his friend , he is sorry he sees him not in his best suit ; and if he have but twelve pence in his purse , he will give it for the best room in a play house . 24. never buy but with ready money , &c. i answer , exceed not in the humour of rags and bravery , for these will soon were out of fashion , but money in your purse will ever be in fashion ; and no man is esteemed for gay garments but by fools and women : fix on the goodness and commodiousness of the thing you buy ; let not your judgement , friendship , or acquaintance , perswade you to pride or wantonness , an effeminate spruceness , or a phantastick disorder , but decency and a neglective comliness is your best ornament ; therefore buy those . 25. next to clothes a good horse becomes a gentleman , &c. if you dare trust your own judgement without the assistance of a friend , in choosing things are good and cheap , his rule is good . a good horse , if he have majesty and stateliness , becomes a gentleman ; its commendable to see him with his mane and tail waving in the wind , and hear him coursing and neighing in the pastures , and noble to see him with some gallant heroe on his back , performing gracefully his useful postures , and practising his exploits of war . 26. gallop not through a town , &c. i answer , why so ? a party may be riding post upon life and death , and then it is but being careful and there is no danger . 27. wrestling and vaulting have ever ( saith he ) been looked upon by men as more useful then fencing , &c. i answer , not with me ( mr. puny ) of what use is wrestling to a gentleman a horseback going to do his king service ? if you meant to quarrel in a tavern it may be useful , or in an ale-house , you may trip up his heels , and vault over the table and then run away . 28. swimming may save a man , &c. i answer , ( that is true ) i remember i saved my self , and so did all my company at the siege of sally in barbary , when an army of turks came down to destroy it , and all the inhabitants , and all that they found there as well strange merchants as natives . 29. though machiavil &c. i answer , ( sir ) you say machiavil prescribes hunting and hawking in his advice to a prince ; it may be he doth ; i shall not take the pains to look whether he do or not , but you it seems are afraid of acquaintance with those whom you fear can informe your judgement in little but what signifies nothing ; and who you would think tedious to hear , yet cannot after shake off their acquaintance , &c. i appeal to the faculties of any free judge , whether this be not a fruitless question ; for it is a small thing to give any man the hearing of his discourse , and not a penny matter whether it signifie any thing or not ; first , you make him your friend , and if you but a little instruct him with mild and kind language , it is commendable both with god and man : and be not proud and scorneful ( oh man ) one god made all flesh . now to this sport ; is it not pleasant to view in the open champion a brace of swift greyhounds coursing a stout and well breathed hare , or a pack of well tuned hounds , and huntsmen on their horse backs , with pleasure and alacrity pursuing their game , and to hear them winding their hornes near a wood side , so that the whole wood rings of the eccho of that musick , and chearful yelping of the eager dogs , and these sports ended , retire every man , with , gentlemen my occasions will not permit me further ? &c. 30. such as are betrayed by their easie nature , &c. i answer ; hear this emblem , of an age , taking of signes by experience , mistakes , that wherein men do ordinarily think , and believe the difference stands between man and man in wisdom , by which he and all others commonly understand a mans whole ability , surety-ship , trusting or power cognitive ; but this is an errour : for the signes are but conjectural ; and according as they have often or seldom failed , so their assurance is more or less , but never full and evident ; for though a man have alwayes seen the day and night to follow one another hitherto , yet can he not thence conclude they shal do so , or that they have done so eternally . experience which he cryes up , concludeth nothing universally , if the signes hit twenty times for one missing ; a man may lay a wager of twenty to one of the event , but may not set it down for a truth . you cannot from experience conclude that any thing is to be called just or unjust , true or false ; you may conclude such things to be without , that are within you . 31. he that lends upon publick faith is security for his own money , &c. i answer , rich widowes therefore were ordained for younger brothers ; for they being born to no lands , borrow upon the publick , and must plow in another mans soyl . 32. honesty treats with the world upon such vast disadvantages &c. i answer , it is policy to borrow sometimes to prevent lending ; and to be alwayes indebt , and able to pay upon demand is more profitable then to appear rich . 33. in a case of importance hear the reasons of others pleaded , &c. 33. in such a case ; if i mistake not , the fundamental deceit lies in a greedy entertaining those first pretences , and seemingly candid important propositions are made to us before they have passed those scrutinies , and severe iniquities they deserve ) external holy reasons , invite awful regards there is no mask that becomes rebellion : and innovation so well as religion ; herod would fain worship when he means to worry , and these must be examined by the test of gods word , and national laws : all the rest are but ugly consequence of that absurdity in the advice to a son . 34. beware nevertheless of thinking your self wiser or greater then you are , &c. i answer ; let all sober christians , know that the shel of religion though it may be of external conducement , yet there is nothing that gods pure and undeluded eye looks on with more abhorrency , then this , and subtile pride we may possibly disceive men , but it in vain to put ironies upon god . a counterfeit religion shall find a real hell , and 't is pitty that such a sacred thing should be violenced , and made subservient to rebellious irregular designes . as for pride and baseness , and such who have conspired with the wrath of god , in the stupefaction of their consciences , though they may for a time struggle , with those inward checks , yet there will be a day ( if not in this life ) when that witness , that judge , that jury , will not be bribed . god hath fixed it in the soul , as an internal register as an impartial diary , as the causer of the affections and pedagogue of the passions , it does not onely illustrate divine justice in an autocatacrisis , but was meant by god , for a bridle and restriction : and he that hath by an inveterate wickedness conquered the opposition which god seated on his heart to sin , may possibly consult well with his present advantage and greatness , but not at all with his future comforts , for besides the loss of that intimate pleasure which waits upon innocency ; he feels some times those bosome quarrels that verberate and wound the soul . 35. king iames used to say of a person in a high place about him , that he ever trembled at his approach it minded him so much of his pedagogue , &c. i answer ; if you be a politicion and in favour with the king , the prosperity of innovation depends in a high measure upon the right knack of kindling supercilious aspects , and fomenting jealousies and dislikes in the people , and then weilding those grudges to the favour and advantage of private ends , for the people are to the politician like tools to the mechanick he can perform nothing without them , they are his wings , his wheels , his implements the properties that he acts with . 36. to whisper with another , in company of your betters is uncivil , &c. i answer ; learn to be silent before princes to avoid evil , repentance often followes speaking ; as the crane flying out of scicilly , puts little stones in her mouth , least by her own garrulity , she betray her self as a prey to the eagle , of the mountain taurus , by this policy she flies in safety , even so should you curb your tongue , least you offend , and may procure your ruine , and prove as a sword to cut the thred of your life in too , t is good alwaies to speak well and in season . 37. when you speak to any , &c. to speak too much bewrayes folly : too little , an unperceiving stupidity , look not full in the face but upon the band , with a pleasing smile for an ingenious look is the ensign or a virtuous mind . 38. impudence is no virtue , yet able to beggar them all , &c. i answer ; virtue is commanded into exile , and the lady impudent vice , is seated in her throne , to perform the tenor of this paragraph , virtue went from amongst men , and wisdom , and truth , durst not stay long after but with honesty they travelled poor and naked , they had not gone far when standing upon a mountain , they perceived a great train to pass by : in the middest of it was a chariot attended with kings princes and governors , and in that a stately donna who like some queen regent , commanded the rest of the company ; poor virtue , wisdom and truth , with honesty they stood still , whilest this pompous squadron past , but when the chariot came over against them the lady impudence who was there seated , took notice of them , and causing her pageants to stay , commanded to come nearer , there they were scornfully examined , whence they came , whether they would go ? and what about , to these questions they answered , as their custom is very truly , virtuously , wisely and honestly , whereupon the lady vice commands them to wait upon her , and that in the reer and tail of all her troops , for there is their known places , &c. 39. i do not find you ( saith this curled lock of antichrist ) guilty of covetousness , &c. i answer ; the rubbish of babylon , that like the fox supplants the badger , to assign such a cause of grievances , and such a course of advice for redress as may open away to the alteration he aims at , as if he meant to alter a government by example of a house , or to ingross a supremacy , by artificial buildings , &c. and by this frugal advice to reserve something may enable you to grapple with any future contingency . 40. keep no more servants then you have full imployment for , &c. i answer ; mariage frees a man from this care , for then his wife takes all upon her , and has commonly more inspect into these things then a man , and often times prevents by her discretion ensuing dangers , and is so wise that she can know their qualities by their countenances , and finding the first fault will endeavour to amend it . 41. leave your bed upon the first desertion of sleep . i answer ; in sleep the present sense is not , but there the images remaining after sense ( when there be many ) as in dreams are not obscure , but strong and clear as in sense it self : the reason is , that which obscureth and made the conceptions weak , namely , sense , and present operation of the object is removed : for sleep is the privation of the act of sense ( the power remaining ) and dreams are the imagenation of them that sleep . 42. it is no where wholsome to eat so long as you are able , &c. i answer ; diet changes the body , which if good it breeds good qualities fit to receive the etherial first moisture , it were a rare thing by use and custom so to order your self , that you could endure to live without food , as you see a man when he is in the water is never thirsty , by a fine application you might by this example kill hunger and live many years . hot meats and drinks destroy the body , as hot things put to the root of a tree , although it be by that way caused to bear fruit in winter , yet it will destroy the stock . 43. nothing really acceptable to the guste of humanity , &c. i answer ; he that would anatomize the soul may do it best when wine hath benummed his senses , how a man looks in his imbrications a swimming eye , a face both rost and ●od ? a temmulentive tongue clamm'd to the roof and gumms : a drumming ear , a feavou●●d body , a boyling stomack , a mouth nasty with offensive fumes , till it sicken the brain with gidyy verminations , a palsied hand , and legs tottering up and down , their moistned burthen , which lastly , falls into the hands of the drowsy constable , who happily may be so honest as to guard him to his lodging or house . 44. he that alwaies regulates his diet by the strickt rule of phisick , &c. i answer ; plotter by false alarms of danger , invents horrid news , and plies the people with such fictious perils , as makes them believe , religion and liberty , and all is at stake ; and that they are the geese that must save the capital . when he sees opportunity to reveal his own designe , he does it gradually ; and by piece-meal : for that which at one view would be a mormo to fright them , give it them in small pieces and they will digest it well enough . he composes his very garb with a gesture , t is a great matter to tell a lie with a grace , as if religion be the mode , he will in his tales knock his breast ; attest god , and invoke imprecations upon himself , if he does not do that , which he never intends . he gives them good words and bad actions , and ravishes them with promises of liberty , under the highest strain of oppression ; for it is most certain , if you please them with the name , they will embrace it for name and thing : he observes that they receive probabilities , wisely propounded , more greedily , then naked truths : and therefore he is very studious to glaze and polish his impostures , that so they may to a loose eye dissemble truth . and lastly , when he hath by the assistance of the people , got the sword into his own hands , he awes them with it , and frights them with future compliance , he that courted them before withall the adulatory terms that ambition could invent , or they receive ; as if he had been vowed their martyr , and ready to sacrifice his dearest injoyments upon the alter of publick liberty and freedome , as if his veins knew no other blood , but such as he would be proud to spend in their service , haveing non-served himself of them , he forgets the bosome , that warmed him , they hear from him now in a palinode ; he curls up his smooth complements into short laconicks , and exchanges his courtship for command . 45. experience hath found no less shame then danger , in being the chief at a mercy assignation , &c. i answer ; mans life is like a state ( sm●ctimnus ) still casual in the future , no man can leave his son rules for severals , because he knows not how the times will be ; unless he be an astrologer of the issue of maccabeus , begot , ( as he gains ) upon the times ; he that lives alwaies by book rules , shall shew himself affected and a fool , do alwaies that which is comely and honest . in bad company you may see how uncomely vice appears , and correct it in your self ; who can but think , what a nasty beast he is in his drunkenness that hath seen how noysome it hath made another : how like a noted sap spunged even to the bracking of a skin ; who will not abhor a chollerick passion , and a sawcy pride in himself , that sees how ridiculous and contemptible they render those that are infested with them , do not think but that your vices are seen to others , as theirs are to you , when committed since mans fall ; observe bad company , and abtrude it , and know good , that you may embrace it ; and this knowledge you can neither have so cheap , nor so certain , as by seeing it in others , with a pittiful dislike . 46. let your wit rather serve you for a buckler to defend your self , &c. i answer ; i know wisemen are not too nimble at an injury , for as with fire , the light stuff and rubbish kindles sooner then the sollid , and more comparted , so anger sooner inflames a fool then a man composed in wisedome and courage , and there be many like tiled houses , that can admit a falling spark , unwarm'd , yet some again are covered with such like drie straw , that with the least touch they will kindle and flame about your troubled ears : and when the house is on fire it is no disputing with how small a matter it came , it will quickly proceed to mischief ; it is not good to be too tart in your jests , for an unhappy wit stirs up enemies against the owner , and a man may spit out his friend from his tongue , or laugh him into an enemy , gall in mirth is an ill mixture , and sometimes truth is bitterness , i would wish any man to be pleasingly merry , but let him beware he bring not truth on the stage like a hector with a sword in his hand . 47. much wisdome resides on the proverbs of all nations , &c. i answer ; for injuries my opinion is , t is better to suffer them then to offer them , he may be good that bares them , he must be ill that proffers them ; saul would slay david , when himself onely is vitious and ill , vice is accompanied with injustice , patience is an attendant on virtue . 48. if an injury be of so ranck a nature , &c. i answer ; insult over none , for as there is no creature so little , but may do you mischief , so is no man so low but may occasion your smart ; the spider can impoison , the ant can sting , even the fly can trouble your patience ; neglect an enemy but contemn him not , disdain will bring in fury , and banish patience ; he is in the wrong way high , that scornes a man below him for his lowness , they are but puft winds that bubble thus above inferiours , one man cannot be so much above another , as that his difference should legitimate his storm ; contemne no man , lest you awake the lyon of a sleeping mind , if you sit upon the highest cog , you may with turning prove the lowest in the wheel , make your enemie therefore your friend : the bodies and souls of all men have the like original composure , nature at first made all equal , we are differen●ed but by accident , be not proud of what god hath given you more then him , he by time and means may have as much or more ; why should any one despise another , because he is better furnisht of that which is none of his own . 49. prosecute not a coward too far , &c. i answer ; all the noble deeds that have beat their marches through succeeding ages , have all proceeded from men of courage , a stern look daunts a coward , i have studied in vain to make a coward confidently valiant , because his soul is of a courser mixture , then the common spirits of men , in a battell i have seen a coward by running away to avoid danger , has fallen into the several walks of many , when a valiant man by keeping his rank , and confidently fiering in the face of the enemy hath come off safe . 50. speak disgracefully of none at ordinaries , &c. i answer ; i think the poet meant them for caligula's that sprung of the teeth of cadmus poysoned serpent , that enviously murther one another in their fury , and like flies that alwaies live upon corruption and the sores of horses backs , and what people are those that feed upon the corruption of another mans faults ; like those creatures that are bred and live upon filth . applauding anothers virtues , will win you more honour , then the seeking slily to disparage him , by suspicious evil words or silence when you cannot justly condemn with your tongue . 57. carray no dogs to court , &c. i answer ; be not so childish to justifie the breeding of your dog at court , nor praise the behaviour of your boy , who it may be ape-like immitates his master , yet not old enough to play the fool so handsomely without offence , which sometimes may cause complaint , and another may observe how not long before you did the same thing ; ( and for manning of whores ) i leave to those who by woful experience have known the danger in their bodies that have been more plump then dough and rashy then hogs-flesh . 52. reveal not the pranks of anothers love , &c. i answer ; who will not condemn him as a traitor to reputation and society , that tells the private faults or the love pranks of his friend , to the publick and depraving world , when two friends part , they should lock up one anothers secrets , and interchange their keyes , the honest man will rather be a grave to his neighbours fails , then any way uncurtain them . i care not for his humor that loves to clip the wings of a lofty flame . 53. be not trumpet of your own charity , &c. let another sound your charity to the spreading aire , with your praise ▪ let vice be whispered in the kissing ear , with chiding ; this example of mine will teach you even while you chide to love ; if there be virtues , and you be cal'd to speak of him that owns them , tell them forth impartially ; if there be vices mixt with those , be content to let the world know them by some other tongue then yours ; do as you would be done unto . 54. if it be levity and ostentation to boast when you do well , &c. i answer ; friend , why may he not be emblem'd by the cozening fig-tree that our saviour curst , never to bear fruit after ? so i pronounce that its worthy his deserts to be hated of ladies for ever after who boasts of their favours that perhaps never enjoyed any ; besides , ladies are creatures so pure and fine by nature that they delight not to bestow their favours upon fools . 55. to make love to married women , &c. i answer ; all ladies are enemies to assuming men , when they would have more then with honesty is due , or they can give ; they seldom find so much as either their persons or parts deserve . 56. fly with joseph the embraces of great ladies , &c. i answer ; he is virtuous that is so for virtues sake , and chuses rather to lye in sackclorh then in beds of down with silken delights , and sarsnet embraces from taffata mobs who within are nothing but rotton bones and lothsome diseases . 57. usher not women to masks , & t. i answer ; women ought to recreate themselves at their husbands discretion ; and it behoveth a married man to shew himself in speech and countenance both gentle and amiable , for if a woman of modest behaviour seeth any gross incivility in her husband , she doth not onely abhor it , but also thinketh with her self , that other men are more discreet , and better brought up , therefore it standeth him upon to be civil & modest in his doings , lest he offend the chast thoughts of his wife , to whose liking he ought to conform himself in all honest and reasonable things , and to take heed of every thing that may dislike of this i could make a volume but i must be brief . a man should thus account of his wife as the onely treasure he enjoyeth upon earth , and he must also account that there is nothing more due to the wife , then the faithful , honest , and loving company of her husband , he ought also in sight of love to impart his secrets , and counsel unto his wife , for many have found much comfort and profit , by taking their wives counsell ; and if you impart any ill hap to your wife , she lightneth your grief , either by comforting you lovingly , or else in bearing a part therof patiently , and if you espie a fault in your wife , you must not rebuke her angerly or reprochfully , but onely secretly betwixt you two , alwayes remembring that you must neither chide nor play with your wife before company ; those that play and dally with them before company , do thereby set other mens teeth on edge , and make their wives the less shamefaced . advice to a daughter . ii. love and marriage . 1. love like a burning-glass contracts the dilated lines of lust , &c. i answer ; you theban wittal , i will shew you that conceptions and apparitions are nothing really , but motion in some internal substance of the head ; which motion not stopping there , but proceeding to the heart , of necessity must there either help or hinder the motion which is called vital ; when it helpeth , it is called delight , contentment , or pleasure , which is nothing but motion in the head , and the objects that cause it are called pleasant , or delightful , or by some name equivalent ; the latines have jucundum ajuvando , from helping ; and the same delight , with reference to the object , is called love ; but when such motion weakneth or hindereth the vital motion , then it is called pain ; and in relation to that which causeth it hatred , which the latines express sometimes by odium and sometimes by taedium . 2. to cure youth wholly of this desire , &c. i answer ; you tredeskin fopperie , and his ark of fools toyes , what dare you be so bold , to place ladies and gentlewomen in your cabinet of november , which weather-beaten experience hath made wearisome to you ? 3. for if ever marriage , &c. i answer ; it s very true , some think outward beauty the onely jewell that deserveth wearing ; yet the wise man counts it but an accident , that can neither adde nor diminish , to the worth of virtue as she is in her self : so as he never esteems her more or less but as he finds her accomplisht with discretion , honesty , and good parts . if my mistress be virtuous and nobly minded , my soul shall love her , howsoever her body be fram'd ; and if beauty make her amiable , i shall like her the better : the sun is more glorious in a clear sky , then when the horizon is clouded , beauty is the wit of nature put into the frontis-piece ; if there be any humane thing may teach faith reason ; this is it . in other things we imagine more then we see , in this we see more then we can imagine , i have seen ( and yet not with a partial eye ) such features and such mixtures , as i have thought impossible for either nature to frame , or art to counterfeit , yet in the face i have seen that which hath out-gone them both , the countenance : oh if such beauty be in the body , what is in the soul ! or if such glory can dwell with corruption , what celestial excellencies are in the saints above ! who would not gaze himself into admiration when he shall see so rich a treasure in so pure a cabinet , unmatched virtue , in matchless beauty ? for if my mistresses body hath more comliness then her soul goodness , i like her the worse for being but outwardly fair ; wickedness in beauty is a traitor of the bed-chamber , poyson in sweet meats ; a vicious soul in a beautiful body is like a papist that will go to church . 4. those virtues , graces and reciprocal desires , &c. i answer ; iohn a nokes , i have answered this in my last paragraph ; but ladies , behold , he scornfully sayes you are but like painted boxes children and time will empty of delight , and leave nothing but diseases . 5. therefore i charge you , &c. i answer ; here he inhibits marriage ; when i say a good wife is a mans best moveable , a scyonincorporate with the stock bringing sweet fruit , one that to her husband is more then a friend , less then trouble , an equal with him in the yoke , in calamities and troubles she shares alike , nothing pleases her that doth not him , she is relative in all , and he without her but half himself , she is his absent hands , eyes , ears and mouth ; his present and absent all . 6. marriage like a trap set for flies , &c. i ans. pray sir kirk dragooner why ? she frames her nature unto his howsoever ; the hyacinth followes not the sun more willingly ; stubbornness and obstinacy are herbs that grow not in her garden , she leaves talking to the gossips of the town , and is more seen then heard ; her husband is her charge , her care to that makes her seldom non resident , her pride is but to be cleanly , and her thrift not to be prodigal ; by his discretion , she hath children not wantons . 7. it were something yet , &c. i answer ; ( you purlew of a metempsychosis ) a husband without her is a misseny in mans apparell : none but good women have aged husbands , a good wife is a staff and a chair to her husbands ; besides she is wife and r●ligious , which makes her all this . why do you abuse women with the title of impotent , infected , lothsome and diseased whores ? and it must ( you say ) be incident to their weak natures . 8. if none of my perswasions , &c. i answer ; why ? is beauty so immodest , you spleen of a blew stocking'd iustice , are they all whores ? by woful experience , ( he saies ) you must not yoke yourself to anothers desires , unless you are ambitious of rendring your house as populous as a confectioners shop , to which the gaudy wasps , no less then the liquorish flies , make it their business to resort , in hope to have a lick at your honey-pot , &c. which he confidently affirms will break , and all women are so frail , that many protestations will not rub off the hornes of their husbands ; but for their excuse , after plundred of that their husbands do not miss , they will say it was his fate or fortune , &c. you say ( sir ) women are all whores , bald , drowsy , mothey , and beauty is made by tirement , taylors , shooemakers , and painters : and how happy he is , who hath a wife wise enough to conceal the real horns of her husband : your ugly mishapen lies have made many a man and woman fall out , and no man but an astrologer dares trust his wife abroad or out of his sight now a daies , but presently he fancies himself a wittal with horns . 9. the english lawes are composed so far in favour of wives , &c. i answer ; pigwiggin myrmidon you are severe against the sex , and so uncharitable , as you think all women bad ; yet others , i have heard durst affirm they are all good ; sure though you speak as you find , there is reason to direct your opinion , without experience of the whole sex , which in a strict examination makes more for their honour then you have acknowledged . at first she was created his equal , onely the difference was in the sex : otherwise they both were man . if i must box you to the text , and there argue , both male and female made man ; so the man being put first was worthier . i answer , you ( flea-biten canonick weed ) so the evening and the morning was the first day , yet few will think the night the better : that man is made her governour , and so to be placed above her , i believe rather the punishment of her sin , then the prerogative of his worth : had they both stood , it may be thought , she had never lien undermost , and in that subjection , for then it had not been a curse , but another estate which had nothing but blessedness in it . 10. yet this may be said for it , &c. i answer ; you ( camel ) rail against women , when all grant her body more admirable and more beautiful then mans ; fuller of curiosities , and noble natures wonders , both for conception and fostering the producted birth ; and can we think that god would put a worser soul into a better body ? when man was created , t is said , god made man : but when woman t is said , god builded her , as if he had been about to make a frame of rarer roomes , and more exact composition : and without doubt , in her body she is much more wonderful ; and by this we may think her so in her mind ; and though the soul be not caused by the body , yet in the general it follows the temperament of it : so the comeliest out-sides are naturally ( for the most part ) more vertuous within . if place can be any priviledge , we shall find her built in paradise , when man was made without it . 11 nevertheless there is not , &c. i answer ; this is certain , women are of a colder constitution then the boyling man , so by this more temperate ; it is heat that transports you to this immoderate furie , t is that which hurries you to a savage and libidinous violence ; women are naturally more modest , and modesty is the seat and dwelling-place of vertue . 12. we brook nothing restraint ties us to , &c. whence proceed these most horrid villanies , but from a masculine unblushing impudence ? what a deal of sweet do we find in a mild-dispositioned woman ? when a woman growes bold and daring , men dislike her , and say she is too much like a man , yet in your self you magnifie what you condemn in her . 13. ask your self , &c. i answer ; is not this injustice in you ( anonymus ? ) every man is so much the better by how much he comes nearer god ; man in nothing is more like him , then in being merciful , yet woman is far more merciful then man , it being a sex wherein pity and compassion have dispersed far brighter rayes ; god is said to be love , and i am sure every where woman is spoken of , for transcending in that quality ; and this is not in the habit , but natural . 14. after that age , weariness , wisdom , or business , &c. i answer ; you enemy to woman , it was never found , but in two men onely , that their love exceeded that of the feminine sex : and if you observe them you shall find they were both of melting dispositions . i know when women prove bad , they are a sort of the vilest creatures ; yet the same reason gives it , for optima corrupta pessima , the best things corrupted become the worst ; women are things whose souls are of a more ductible temper then the harder mettal of man , so may be made both better and worse ; you scandalize them with impertinent devices they were never guilty of : it is true , they are not of so tumultuous a spirit as man , so not so fit for great actions ; natural heat does more actuate the stirring genius of man ; their easie natures make them somewhat more unresolute , whereby men have argued them of fear and inconstancy . 15. were it possible to assign to your choice the virtues , &c. i answer ; here he fancies himself married to a virtuous woman , when in another place he condemns them , and by wofull experience , he sayes they are all whores , but men have alwayes the parliament and have enacted their own wills , without ever hearing them speak : and then how easie is it to conclude them guilty ? besides , education makes more difference between men and them , then nature ; and all their aspersions are less noble , for that they are onely from their enemies , men . 16. our beldam eve to save her longing , &c. i answer ; again he snarles bitterly , and thinks , after they were made ill , god made them fearful , that man might rule them , otherwise they had been past dealing with . i am fully minded to honour virtue in what sex soever i find it , and i think in the general i shall find it more in women then in men , though weaker , and more infirmly guarded : i believe they are better , and may be wrought to be worse ; neither shall the faults of some make me uncharitable to all , nor the goodness of some make me credulous of the rest , though hitherto i confess i have not found more sweet and constant goodness in man then i have found in woman : and yet of these i have not found a number . 17. though nothing can wholly disingage marriage from such inconveniencies , &c. i answer ; you neast gull of a young apocrypha , both sexes made but man , so that marriage perfects creation : when the husband and the wife are together , the world is contracted in a bed ; and without this , like the head and body parted , either would consume without a possibility of reviving . and though this nameless wight be an enemy to the name of marriage , yet you may catch him dabling in the use on 't : surely , he was made a religious hermaphrodite that is not tending to propagation , nature in her work made him not truly so ; for it never made any thing in vain : he that is perfect and marries not , may in some sort be said to be guilty of a contempt against nature , as disdaining to make use of her sports and natural endowments . 18. the true extent of her estate therefore is first to be surveyed before you entail your self , &c. i answer ; now sir , that which the turks hold is not without some colour of reason : they say , he that marries not at a fitting time ( which they hold is about the age of twenty five years , ) is not just , nor pleaseth god : i believe it is from hence , that the vow of chastity is many times accompanied with such inconveniences as we see ensue : i cannot think god is pleased with that which crosseth his first ordination , and current of nature ; and in themselves it is a harder matter to root out an inseparable sway of nature then they think of , without they quench it in virtue and beauty . 19. as the fertility of the ensuing year , &c. i answer ; choose a fit companion , a fit wife , a meet help ; for the best chastity of all i hold to be matrimonial chastity , when pairs keep themselves in a moderate intermutableness each constant to the other , for still it tendeth to union , and continuation of the world to posterity . and it is fit both in nature and policy , that this propriety should be inviolable ; first , in respect of the impureness of mixt posterity : next , in respect of peace and concord among men ; if many men ( as he saith ) should be interessed in one woman , it could not be but there would infinite jarres arise . some have complained of christian religion , in that it tyes men so strictly in this point , and when matches happen ill , there is no means of remedy . but surely if liberty or change were granted , all would grow to confusion : and it would open a sluce to many mischiefs arising out of heat onely , which now by necessity are cooled , and made tame again . 20. yet take one who thinks her self rather beneath then above you , &c. i answer ; those i observe to agree best , you episco-mastix , which are of free natures , not subject to the fits of choler ; their freedom shuts out jealousie , which is the canker of wedlock , and withal it divideth both joy and sorrow ; and when hearts alike disclose , they ever link in love . nay , whereas small and domestick jars more fret marriages then great ones and publick , those two will take them away ; freedom reveals them , that they ranckle not the heart to a secret lothing , and mildness bears them without anger or bitter words ; so they close again after discussion many times in a straighter tye . poverty in wedlock is a great decayer of love and contentation ; and riches can find many wayes to divert an inconvenience ; but the mind of a man is all : some can be servile , and fall to those labours , ( he calls base drudgery ) which another cannot stoop to . above all , let the generous mind beware of marrying poor ; for though he cares the least for wealth , yet he will be most galled with the want of it . self-conceited people never agree well together ; they are wilful in their brawls , and reason cannot reconcile them ; where either are opinionately wise , hell is there , unless the other be a patient meerly : but the worst is , when it lights on the woman , she will think to rule , because she hath the subtiler brain , and the man will look for 't , as the priviledge of his sex ; then certainly there will be mad work , when wit is at war with prerogatives . 21. i confess vast estates are not so sensible , &c. i answer ; ( mr. new-fashioned doctor justice ) where marriage proves unfortunate , a woman with a bad husband is much worse then a man with a bad wife ; men have much more freedom to court their content abroad . there are some that account women onely as seed-plots for posterity ; ( anonymus ) the author of the advice to a son , ( worse ; ) he sayes they are whores , and onely quench for their fires ; but surely there is much more good in them , if they be discreet , they are women but in body alone ; questionless , a woman with a wise soul is the fittest companion for man , otherwise god would have given him a friend rather then a wife . a wise wife comprehends both sexes ; she is woman for her body , and she is man within , for her soul is like her husbands . it is the crown of blessings , when in one woman a man finds both a wife and a friend . single life he commends ( to his son ) cannot have this happiness , though in some minds it hath , many it prefers before it ; this hath fewer cares , and more longings , but marriage hath fewer longings , and more cares ; and i think care in marriage may be commendable , so i think desire in single life , is not an evil of so high a bound as some men would make it , it is a thing accompanies nature , and a man cannot avoid it . 22. therefore ( dear son ) if , &c. i answer ; dear daughter , some things there are , that mans conscience condemns without a literal law ; as injustice , blasphemy , lying , &c. but to curbe and quite beat down the desires of the flesh , is a work of religion rather then of nature ; and therefore saies saint paul , i had not known lust to have been a sin , if the law had not said , thou shalt not lust . votive abstinence some cold constitutions may endure with a great deal of vexatious penitence ; to live chast without vowing i like a great deal better , nor shall we find the divel so busie to tempt us to a single sin of unchastity , as he will when it is a sin of unchastity and perjury too : i find it commended , but not imposed ; and when iephtha's daughter died , they mourned , for that she died a maid . 23. i have heard a well-built woman compared in her motion , to a ship under sail ; yet i advise no wise man to be her owner , if her fraught be nothing but what she carries between wind and water , &c. i answer ; what she carries there , you ( scotch wittal ) in honour of her marriage , is priviledged to the wedded ; and though the romans had their vestals , yet after their thirty years continuance , the cruelty of inforced chastity was not in force against them . single life i will like in some , whose minds can suffer continency , but should all live thus , a 100 years would make the world a desart . and this alone may excuse me , though i write against you , and like of marriage better : one tends to ruine , the other to increasing of the glory of the world in multitudes . 24. but if once you render your self a pupil to whining love , &c. i answer ; why dost call it whining love ? a good woman is a comfort like a man , she lacks of him nothing but heat ; thence is her sweetness of disposition , which meets his stoutness more pleasingly ; so wool meets iron easier then iron , and turns resisting into embracing : her greatest learning is religion , and her thoughts are on her own sex , or on men , without casting the difference ; and dare you call these whores ? believe me , dishonesty never comes nearer then her ears , and then wonder stops it out , and saves vertue the labour ; she will leave such dauphine youths as you telling your tales , and puts back the courtiers putting forward with a frown ; yet her kindness is free enough to be seen , for it hath no guilt about it ; and besides , her mirth is clear , you may look through it into vertue , but not beyond . 25. to conclude , if you will needs be a , &c. i answer ; it would make a man in love that is an hundred years old , to see these vertuous creatures , good women ; and a good wife hath not behaviour as at a certain , but makes it to her occasions ; she ( if i may describe her briefly ) hath so much knowledge as to love it , and if she have it not at home , she will fetch it ; and for this , sometimes in a pleasant discontent she dares chide her sex , though she use it never the worse : she is much within , and frames outward things to her mind , not her mind to them . she wears good clothes , but never better , for she finds no degree beyond decency ; she hath a content of her own , and so seeks not an husband , but finds him : she is indeed most , but not much of description , for she is direct , and one , and hath not the variety of ill : now she is given fresh and alive to a husband to increase and multiply ; and she doth nothing more then love him , for she takes him to that purpose , and to increase the world in multitudes . ladies , now your enemy is vanquished , you may take your pleasures . 26. but if this savours too much of the stoick , &c. i answer ; he speaks still but faintly as a man out of breath ; i le give him a serious reproof , and let him take rest a while : oh vain man , be advised , approch not the presence of such angelical creatures ( as women ) upon pain of my displeasure , and their frowns , which frowns alone are able to destroy a woman-hater . but ladies , i must resolve your question , whether is more true , that likeness is the cause of love , or love the cause of likeness ? in agreeing dispositions , i answer , the first is certain ; in those that are not , the latter is evident : the first is the easier love , the other the more worthy ; the one hath a lure to draw it , the other without respect is voluntary : we women love you for the similitude you have with us ; god meerly from his goodness , when yet we contrary to him , since he hath loved us when we were not like him , we must strive to be like him , because he hath loved us : we must be like him , being our friend , that loved us when we were his enemies then onely is love powerful , when it frames to the will of the loved . lord , though i cannot serve thee as i ought , let me love thee as i ought : grant this , and i know i shall serve thee the better . advice to a daughter . iii. travell . 1. some to starch a more serious face upon wanton , impertinent and dear bought vanities , cry up travel as the best accomplisher of youth and gentry , &c. i answer ; i have discovered more with my eye , then kings can comprehend in their thoughts , and this in travel : for indeed , men do but guess at places by relation onely ; there is no map like the view of the countrey , experience is the best informer . and one journy will shew a man more then any discription can ; the rest is not worth answering , his consequents . 2. yet since it advanceth opinion in the world , without which desert is useful to none but it self , &c. i answer ; he would not allow a man to move from the shell of his own country , and thinks it an happiness for birth , life , & burial , to be all in a parish : but surely travel fulleth the man ; he hath lived but lockt up in a chest , which hath never seen but one land . a kingdome to the world is like a corporation to a kingdome ; a man may live in it like an unbred man . he that searcheth forraign nations is become a gentleman of the world , ( let momus say what he will to the contrary : ) one that is learned , honest , and travel'd , is the best compound of man , and so corrects the vice of one country with the virtues of another ; that like mithridate he growes a perfect mixture , and an antidote . 3. if your genius tempted by profit , &c. i answer ; a genius is that which from god , to one of the seven spirits , ( is given ) to be transferr'd by sephiroth , through the several orders of angels to the spheres of the planets : lastly , the moon raies it through the elements , and infuses it into the body of man ; and how can this be tempted by profit ? 4. or in case this nation should again break out into partialities , &c. i answer ; to behold the war , italy , france and spain are pleasant , and as the court of the world ; germany , china and denmark , are as the citie ; the rest of them are most countrey and barbarisme , who hath not seen the best of these is a little lame in knowledge . yet i think it is not fit that every man should travel : it makes a wise man better , and a fool worse ; this gains nothing but the gay sights of france , vices of spain , the apery of italy , and the exotick gestures of flanders , and the vanity of a country : a travelling fool is the shame of all nations ; he shames his own by his weakness abroad , he shames others , by bringing home their follies alone ; they onely blab abroad domestick vices , and import them that are transma●ine . 5. let not the irreligion of any place , &c. i answer ; that a man may better himself by travel , he ought to observe and comment , noting as well the bad to avoid it , as taking the good into use . 6. shun all disputes , but concerning religion , &c. i answer ; now without registring these things by the pen , they will slide away unprofitably : a man would not think how much the charactering of a thought in paper fastens it ; litera scripta manes , has a large sense ; he that does this , may when he pleaseth rejourney over all his voyage , and observations of countries , their religions and laws in his closet . grave natures are the best proficients by travel , they are not so apt to take soyle , and they observe more , but then they must put on an outward freedome , with an inquisition seemingly careless . 7. keep your zeal chained , &c. i answer ; how this caterpillar of beauty operates ! it were ( i say ) an excellent thing in a state , to have alwaies a select number of youth of the nobility and gentry , and at years of some maturity send them abroad for education . their parents could not better dispose them , then in dedicating them to the republick : they themselves could not be in a fairer way of preferment ; and no question they might prove very serviceable to the state at home , when they shall return well versed in the world , languaged and well read in men , which for policy and negotiation is much better then any book-learning , though never so deep and knowing . 8. do not imitate their follies , &c. i answer ; you epidemical traveller , being abroad , my advice is , to converse with the best , and not to choose by the eye , but by fame . for the state , instruction is to be had at court ; for traffick among merchants , for religious rights the clergy , for government the lawyers : and for the country and rural knowledge , the boores and peasantry can best help you . 9. fall not in comparisons , &c. i answer ; all rarities are to be seen , without comparison , especially antiquities , for these shew the ingenuity of elder times in act , and are in one , both example and precept ; by these comparing them with modern invention , we may see how the world thrives in ability and brain . 10. condemn none with too much severity , &c. i answer ; next above all , see rare men : there is no monument like a man alive , we shall be sure to find something in him to kindle our spirits , and enlarge our minds with a worthy emulation of his vertues , parts of extraordinary note cannot so lie hid , but that they will shine forth , through the tongue and behaviour , to the enlightning of the ravisht beholder . and because there is less in this to take the sense of the eye , and things are more readily taken from a living pattern ; the soul shall more easily draw in his excellencies , and improve it self with greater profit : but unless a man has judgement to order these aright in himself at his return all is vain and lost labour . 11. if the wisdome of the states of holland , &c. i answer ; you lybian pr●selyte , some men by travel will be changed in nothing , and some again will change too much ; indeed the moral out-side , wheresoever we be , may seem best , when something fitted to the nation we are in . and wheresoever you go or stay , you should keep god and friends unchangeable ; how ever you return you make an ill voyage , if you change your faith with your tongue and garments . 12. to the eucharist met in the streets , &c. i answer ; silence and obedience ought not in reason to be reckon'd for a desertion of truth where it cannot be maintained , but to the prejudice of what the imperative power hath declared so to be ; submit therefore to the coustome of the country , by the title of a civil respect ; else you may be a murtherer as well as a martyr , if you run unadvisedly into ruine . 13 pity rather then spurn at those , &c. i answer ; it is folly to oppose any religious zelots , who think none worthy of life are found out of the train of their own opinions . 14. enter no farther into forraign churches , &c. i answer ; and oppose not one ambiguous question against another , no less dangerous to resolve ; but profess it your business to learn not to teach , but comply with compulsion , where conscience and reason gives you leave . 15. consort with none who scoff at their own religion , but shun , &c. i answer ; you may observe how foolishly such a man cozens his own soul in earnest , and is tumbled up and down from beggery to worship , and from worship to baseness again . 16. eschew the company of all english you find in orders , &c. i answer ; lapsed english , that fall to the papists , to promote that idolatrous religion , invent lies and print them , that they may not onely cozen the present age , but gull posterity with forged actions , they will endeavour to disprove zerobabel , and will , if possible , make you confess money to be stronger then truth . 17. besides , he that beyond sea , &c. i answer ; beware what company you keep , especially in strange countries , since example prevails more then precept , though by the erudition dropping from these tutots , we imbibe all the tinctures of vertue and vice ; this renders it little less then impossible for nature to hold out any long siege against the batteries of custome and opportunity . 18. an injury in forraign air is cheaper passed over , &c. i answer ; and a traveller may be nothing but a speaking fashion , if he take pains to be ridiculous , and suffers himself to be spurn'd and injured , he hath seen more then he ; hath perceived , and is fit to be kickt for his folly ; yet some others i have observed in forraign parts , that make their atitre speak the language , and their gate cries , behold us ; they censure all things by countenance and shrugs , and speak their own language with shame and lisping ; they will choke rather then confess beer good drink . one makes his pick-tooth a main part of his behaviour . another chooseth rather to be counted a spie then not a politician , and maintains his reputation by naming great men familiarly . another chooseth rather to tell lies than not wonders , and talks with men singly , and his discourse sounds big , but means nothing ; his boy is bound to admiae him howsoever , he come still from great personages , but goes with mean . 19. play is destructive , &c. i answer ; so it is , you buckram athos , and it teaches a man the humors of another , if not bought at too dear a rate ; besides it , is better to be a good gamester indeed , then men that learn no more then to be rich fools , and take an occasion to shew jewels given them in regard of their vertues , that were bought in st. martins : and not long after having with a mountebancks method pronounced them worth thousands , impauned them for a few shillings : and such provident rich fools will pretend to familiarity with all the learned men in england ; and sometimes they indeed do make themselves fools , to please these fools , who sometimes again upon festival days go to court , and salute without saluting : and at night in an ordinary they canvass the business in hand , and seem as conversant with all intents and plots as if they begot them . 20. he that desires quiet , and to decline , &c. i answer ; all favours , ( you sometimes ) iustice , and then doctor , you that will be of any trade , by virtue of a commission , to be a iustice of peace , and by the same a doctor of physick , ( have this success , if they light on good ground they bring forth thanks . ) what nature hath infused , you cannot cast out , correct you may : if you must desire womens fauours , do it so moderately , as your iudgement and reason may be still clear ; if unawares you be overtaken , you must yet be careful to conceal your self : so though your own passions be over-strong , others should not see them , to take you at advantages . as many have been spoiled by being soothed in their plausible desires to ladies ; so have many been abused by being malleated in their troublesome jealousies and fears of a mercenary woman . 21. if tempted by an impatient affection , &c. i answer ; i have combated a monster , and master'd him , i will write whilest he pants out his lingring breath ; and i advise all young gentlemen , not to marry uncomely women for any respects , for comeliness in children is riches , if nothing else be left them ; and if you have care for your reces of horses , and other beasts , value the shape and comeliness of your children , before alliance or riches ; have care therefore of both together , for if you have a fair wife and a poor one , if your estate be not great , assure your self that love abideth not with want , for she is your companion of plenty and honour . i never yet knew a poor woman exceeding fair , that was not made dishonest , by one or other in the end ; favour is deceitful , and beauty is vanity , but a wise woman overseeth the wayes of her husband , and eateth not the bread of idleness . i my self have travelled greece , egypt , arabia , and part of africa , besides italy , spain , france , and germany , and could give you a thousand examples of what i have here and in other books written : when you shall read and observe the stories of all nations , you shall find innumerable examples of the like ; let your love therefore be to the best , so long as they do well : but take heed that you love god , your countrey , your prince , your own estate , before all others ; for the fancies of men change , and so do women ; and they that love to day hate to morrow . but let reason be your school-mistriss , which shall ever guide you aright . 22. who travels italy , &c. i answer ; truly i never saw the lust of men in italy , nor the charms of women ; but an ill name may be free from dishonesty , but not alwayes from some folly , which makes the spaniard lock up his ladies water-gap , and carry the key in his pocket . france indeed is onely guilty of sodomy and unheard of lusts , italy , and spain are not : i advise them not onely to be free from sin , but from suspicion , for it is not enough to be well lived , but well reported , and oftentimes weighty matters are as much carried by reputation as substance . endure these things well noble italy , and valiant spain , for they come rather by destiny , then by deserving . 23. where you mean never to return , &c. i answer ; emulation is the bait of virtue , for looking into the sweetness of the reward , men undertake the labour . 24. make no ostentation of , &c. i answer ; i saw a traveller , whose extraordinary account of men was , first to tell them the ends of all matters , and then to borrow money of them ; he offer'd courtesies , to shew them rather then himself humble ; he disdain'd all things above his reach , and prefer'd all countries before his own . he imputed his want and poverty to the ignorance of the time , not his own unworthiness , and concludes his discourse with half a period , or a word , and leaves the rest to imagination . in a word , his religion and his money are both in fashion , and both body and soul are governed by fame ; he loves most voices above truth . 25. inns are dangerous , &c. i answer ; inns are dangerous if men be not careful ; so are strangers , and servants ; but let your servants be such as you may command , and entertain none about you but yeomen to whom you give wages ; for those that will serve you without hi●e , will cost you treble as much as they that know your fare . if you trust any servant with your purse , be sure you take his account ere you sleep ; for if you put it off , you may afterwards for tediousness neglect it ; i my self thereby have lost more then i am worth : and whatsoever your servant gaineth thereby , he will never thank you , but laugh your simpiicity to scorn . and besides , it is the way to make your servants thieves , which else would be honest . 26. next to experience , &c. i answer ; greek and latine are the richest gifts a father can give his child ; italian is useful , but french is a frothy form of speech , and except amongst those that know no better , it is as fruitless as scotch , and their books are worse fancied then the scots . 27. he that is carried by his curiosity , &c. i answer ; bestow your youth in travelling , so that you may have such comfort to remember it when past , & not sigh & grieve at the account thereof . spend not your summer flower of youth with harlots , for they will study to destroy you ; and you may think their pleasures will never have an end ; but behold , the longest day hath his evening , and that you shall enjoy it but once , that it never returns again ; use it therefore as the spring-time , which soon departeth , and wherein you ought to travel with such provision , then gathered for along and happy life . at your return , let your time of marriage be in your young and strong years ; for believe it , ever the young wife betrayeth the old husband ; and she that had you not in your flower , will despise you in your fall , and you shall be unto her but a captivity and sorrow . your best time will be towards fourty : for as the younger times are unfit , either to chuse or govern a wife and family ; so if you stay longer , you shall hardly see the education of your children , which being left to strangers , are in effect lost ; and better it were to be unborn then ill bred : for thereby your posterity shall either perish , or remain a shame to your name and family . 28. i can say little , &c. he that hath a great purse , may thrive in a strange country ; but i wish him take heed that he fall not from the purity of the protestant church , to infirmities , corruptions , errors , and the abominations of plantations , and the vile behaviour of commonly a rude people ; for god will punish sin with sin : they being commonly like the turks , that will not suffer the jews amongst them to sacrifice , for that was flat against their laws ; as we will not suffer the papists to worship the mass , because against our laws . to the men-readers concerning women . as certain it is , there ought to be a great care in the choice of a wife ; so the onely danger therein is beauty , by which men in all ages , both wise and foolish , have been betrayed . and though i know it vain to use reasons or arguments , as iohn heydon doth , in the way to bliss and happiness , a book of hermetical philosophy , of long life health , youth , riches , wisdom and virtue , &c. there speaking of women in one place , saith , they are imperfect men ; and other things ( he saith ) worth your observation , to bring all to happiness and bliss ; and perswades you not to be captivated by beauty : for there being few or none that ever resisted that witchery , yet i cannot but warn you , as of other things , which may be your ruine and destruction . for the present time , it is true , that every man prefers his fantasie in that appetite , before all other worldly desires , leaving the care of honour , credit and safety in respect thereof . but remember , that though these affections do not last , yet the bond of marriage dureth to the end of your life ; and therefore better to be born withall in a mistriss than in a wife : for when your humour shall change , you are free to chuse again , ( if you give your self that vain liberty . ) remember secondly , that if you marry for beauty , you bind your self for all your life for that which perchance will neither last nor please you one year ; and when you have it , it will be to you of no price at all : for the desire dyeth when it is attained , and the affection perisheth when it is satisfied . remember ( as mr. heydon saith in his book of the rosacrucian method of physick ) when you were a child , that then you did love your nurse , and that you were fond of her ; after a while you did love your dry-nurse , and did get the other ; after you did also slight her : so wil it be with you in your liking in elder years ; and therefore if you cannot forbear to love , forbear to link , and after a while you shall find an alteration in your self , and see another far more pleasing then the second or third love . but methinks the ladies begin to frown , and whisper forth these words ; that i am melancholy , and speak gravely and too solidly of the sex . i do take courage again , and pluck up a youthful resolution ; look in the perusal of history , and you may find as many fair and brave examples of virtue given by women , as there hath been by men . look over the roll of them , and you may easily fill each of them into a sufficient common-place ; where many things put down as nobly done by men , it may be are either bruitish , heady , or passionate , whilest in the women things appear more smooth and temperate ; or if there be any think of passion or exorbitancy , it is but an addition of lustre to the sex , as a blush , or glowing in the face sets off their beauty . imagine or wish a governour to be of good entertainment , affable , open of countenance , and such a one that harbours no crooked or dark designs ; where can you find such a one but among women ? besides their natural sweetness and innocency , their talk is commonly directed to such things , as it may easily be inferred , that their heads are not troubled about making of wars , and deceiving the people , or enlarging of empires , or founding of tyrannies . and what can be wished is in women : if it be a happiness to a people to have a religious governour , then all philosophy and experience teaches you , that the softest minds are most capable of these impressions ; and that women are for the most part more violently hurried away by such agitations then men are . how few men prophets does this age afford us in comparison of prophetesses ? and some are but astrologically read ; the other by nature and inspiration qualified . women are great followers of priests also ; ( their genius being set in beauty ) ( as you may read ) in a book of mr. heydons lately published , and called the familiar spirit , ( are angels . ) now in that book is shewed the name of every mans genius , or angel , and how to converse with it distinct from the body ; and that it will speak with an audible voice in a corporeal shape , &c. if you wish for mercy in a ruler , women are the tenderest things on the earth , they have tears at command ; and if tears be the effect of pity and compassion , and pity and compassion be the mother of virtue , must you not think that mercy rules most in them , and is the soonest expected from them ? if you expect affection from them ; have not women many times cut off their hair , to make ropes for engines , and strings for bowes ? have they not given up their rings and jewels to defray charges ? have they not been content to perish for their husbands in their habitations ? and what greater love of country can be shewn ? and how great would this be , if a woman looks upon her self as the mother of her country ? what tenderness would she not have towards the people , her children ? i could wish this noble sex were restored to that right which nature hath bestowed on it ; and then we should have all quiet and serene in common-wealths : courts would not be taken up with factions & underminings , but all would flow into pleasure and liberty : instead of moulding of armies , we should be preparing of masks ; and instead of depressing of factions , we should have balls and amorous appointments . so that men might follow their handy-crafts , oxen might plow , mill-horses drive about the wheel , whilst all this labour and sweat should serve but for the furtherance and easiness of the court : and no wars ; for women being of tender conditions , and most part of sedentary lives , would not engage in such rough employments proper onely for man , who is onely the best kind of savage ; over whom they have also this priviledge , that they can bring forth the greatest conquerors , but man can onely destroy them . wine is strong , and nothing but truth excels women . but i see a volly of objections coming on , such as i fear not to stand against , but will march up to the head of this enemies troop , and there i will charge him thorough , for speaking so much against women . indeed women ought to rule ; and how many sots , inconstant , obstinate , proud , talkative , cruel , naturals and changlings , by vertue of a succession or conquest , by clubs and war-like stratagems , have mounted the throne ? and women cannot be worse at worst then such men ; and withal , women are more easie and supple to be guided by wise counsellors ; women are excellent creatures . peace a little , and hear one of king darius young men ; read esdras 3. chapter , and the 10. verse . thus paraphrased by heydon . o earthly men most vain , do not confine strength to the potent monarch , nor to wine , nor to the multitude ; 'gainst their opinion , hath not the women over these donion ? women into the world them king have brought , and all such people as have empire sought by land or sea , from the had being first , bred from their wombs , and on their soft knees nurst : those that did plant the vine , and press the juice , before that they could tast it to their use , had from them their conception : they spin , they weave garments for men , and they from them receive worship and honour ; needful they are no doubt , as being such men cannot live without : if he hath gather'd silver , or got gold , or found out ought that 's precious to behold ; doth he not bring it to his choice delight , her that is fair and precious in his sight ? leaves he not all his business and affair , to gaze upon her eyes , play with her hair ? is he not wholly hers ? doth he not bring gold to her , silver , and each precious thing ? man leaves his father , mother , country , all , ( what he esteems most dear ) to become thrall in voluntary bondage , with his wife to lead a private and contented life ; which life for her he hazardeth , and her 'fore father , mother , country , doth prefer : therefore by these you may perceive and know , women , to whom man doth such service owe , bear rule o're you . do you not travel , sweat , and toyl , that of your labours they may eat ? man takes his sword , regardless of his weal , and mad-man like , goes forth to rob and steal : he sails the seas , sounds rivers ( nothing fears ) he meets a lion , & his way he stears through darkness , and what purchase , spoyle or boot is got , he prostrates at his mistriss foot : this shews his woman is to him more dear , then he that got , or she that did him bear . some have run mad , some slaves to them have been , others have err'd and perisht in their sin . do i not grant the king in power is great , and that all nations homage to his seat ? yet i have seen apame her armes twine about his neck , the kings lov'd concubine , and daughter to the famous bartacus , i have beheld her oft-times use him thus ; from the kings head to snatch the royal crown , and smiling on him , put it on her own : then with her left hand on the cheek him smite , yet he hath gap'd , and laught , and took delight to see himself so us'd : if she but smil'd , ( as if the power of him were quite exil'd ) he laught on her ; if angry , he was fain to flatter her till she was pleas'd again : 't is true o men , whom i appeal unto , are they not strongest then who this can do ? and it is most true , that as women bring forth children into the world , as they multiply themselves into these visible and corporeal souls , and after they have brought them forth , are most tender and careful to bring them up ; so it is most fitting , having all these preeminences and indulgences of nature , that when they were brought up , they should also have the rule of them : for a potter would think it hard measure , if after the pitcher were made it should slie in his face . advice to a daughter . iv. government . contract not the common distemper incident to vulgar brains , who still imagine more ease from some untried government , then that they lye under ; not having passed the first form of experience , where we may learn that tyranny is no less natural to power then lust to youth , &c. 1. i answer ; these rules of hypocritical tyrants , ( i will set down ) are fit to be known , that they may be avoided , and met withall , and not drawn into imitation . the policy of a tyrant to hold up his state , is first to make shew of a good governour , by observing a temper and mediocrity in his government , and whole course of life . to which end it is necessary , that this subtile tyrant be a cunning politician , and that he be taken so to be , for that it maketh him more to be feared and regarded , and is thought thereby not unworthy to govern others . we may be assured , that there is no greater index of ambition , then an affectation of popularity , which appears in meek addresses to the people , wooing and familiar condescentions , bemoaning their sufferings , commending a more vigorous sense of them . and to make shew not of severity but of gravity , by seeming reverent , not terrible in his speech , and gesture , and habit , and other demeanour , as extreme kindness and fawning , which is alwayes suspicious , because often fraudulent : remember the sileni , that use to kill with hugs and embraces . i know and have observed , it is very usuall for men to personate goodness , til they have accomplished their ends ; and this , sometimes by pretending to take care of the common-wealth ; and to that end , to seem loth to exact monethly assessements , and excise of beer and ale , and other charges ; and yet to make necessity of it , where none is , to that end to fancy plots , and imprison those are of the better sort amongst a few silly fellowes , and make them partners in the design , which indeed may prove nothing ; and to keep men in arms , that he may continue his exaction and contribution so long as he list ; and thereof to employ some in his publick service , and the rest to hoord up in his treasury ; and sometimes to give an account by open speech , and publick writing , of the expence of such taxes and impositions as he hath received of the republick , that he may seem to be a good husband , and frugal , and not a robber of the common-wealth . 2. be not the pen or mouth of , &c. i answer ; i have observed , a man born obscurely , who as long as he was private and poor , excelled in a soft and tractable disposition , but when by jugling he had obtained the government of arabia , there was none more odious for a cruel , covetous and barbarick tyranny ; and i observed of sede mahomet alhayse , there was never a better servant and a worse master . and i know a good aim , much less a good pretence , cannot justifie a bad action , and therefore we ought to be as solicitous about the lawfulness of the means as about the goodness of the end . it is a maxime in morality , that honum oritur ex integris , and in christianity , that we must not do evil that good may come of it ; and we may possibly rescue our selves from future cosenage , if we examine the lawfulness of every circumstance leading to the end propounded , before we are tickled and transported with the beauty of the pretence . as to forbid feastings at the usual times , and other meetings , which increase love , and give opportunity to confer together of publick matters , under pretence of sparing cost for better uses : to that end the courfeu belwas first ordained by willi . the conquerer , to give men warning to repair home ●t a certain houre . 3. a multitude inflamed under a religious pretence , &c. i answer ; to make schism or division under hand among his nobility , and betwixt the nobility and the people ; and to set one rich man against another , that they combine not together , and that himself by hearing the griefs and complaints , may know the secrets of both parties , and so have matter against them , when he listeth to call them to an account . 4. the example of brutus , &c. i answer ; it cannot be then easily imagined , of what singular importance the aspersing and blotting of a prince is , to boyl up popular discontent to that height which is requisite for a rebellion : and here it must diligently be enquired , if there have not been such lapses as have galled the people ; and though they be old sores and skin'd , yet they must be searched and refreshed , and exasperated with all the urging circumstances that come within the invention of scandal . it must be remembred if any persons of publick note have suffered under the sword of justice , whose crimes can by art or eloquence be extenuated , whose hand measure must be mentioned with tears , that so old traytors may be propounded for new martyrs : this hath been the ordinary method of ambitious and wicked powers , and it was ever the most compendious way of usurpation , to dissemble a strong affection to the country , lamenting the vices of the prince , and miseries of the people ; not with an intent to rescue them from servitude , but to get such a portion of favour as may lift us up to the same pitch of honour on their shoulders ; which having obtained we transcendently abuse , changing the rods of royalty into the scorpions of anarchy , aristocracy , or a free state . 5. before you fix , consult all the objections , &c. i answer ; it is the fashion of fortunate traytors to feed the people with shells and empty names : as if their bare assertion could demonstrate to us ( against all experience ) that t is freedome to be slaves to quondam peasants , and slavery to be subjects to a true and natural prince ; and therefore if the prince be severe , he gives them nereo's brand , a man kneaded up of dirt and blood ; if he be of parts and contrivance , he calls it pernicious ingenuity ; if he be mild and favourable to tender consciences , he declaimes against his toleration ; if he urge uniformity and decency in divine service , he rails at his superstition . and because there is no such equilibrious vertue , but has some flexure to one of the extremes . but if the prince hath by carriage of extraordinary innocence vindicated himself from obloquy ( which shall scarce be , if small faults be rightly improved ) then machiavels advice must be followed , to calumniate stoutly , till the people have entertained something to his pre●udice : it is a figure in politicks to make every infirmity a fault , and every fault a crime ; and if the people be dispos'd to alteration , these must first be urged against a monarch to depose him , which is commendable , if you can dress him up like a tyrant ; as you may find it justified by an honest scot : who complains that there are not some glorious rewards appointed for tyrannticides , &c. the grecians gave divine honours and great gifts to those that kill'd tyrants . 6. submit quietly to any power , providence , &c. i answer ; it is wisdome so to do : and for my part , i will obey my superiors without compulsion . i know the power of authority by woeful experience to be very strong in other countries , and able to conquer the saints , and to convert innocency into faults ; and he that peruses history shall find that there hath been no innovation so gross , no rebellion so hideous , but hath had some ecclesiastical somenters ; for such as want worth enough of their own , to reach preferment in a regular way , are most apt to envy the just honours of better men , and despairing to obtain their end by learning and piety , they aspire to it by the crooked means of faction and schism : nor are these despicable instruments to the politician , for the sharpest for the sharpest sword in his army cannot vie services with a subtil quil ; you may see his business in writing , preaching and disputing , that so his tongue is a sheild to his patrons opinion , and a sword to his adversaries . the iesuit reckons it in the number of his merits , if he may by any sinister waies ruffle and disorder heretical kingdomes , ( so he calls them ) encourage weak and unstable minds to slight magistracy , irritate divisions , tumults , rebellions , absolve from oaths , and all sacred ties ; so that it is hard to find any tragical scene , or bloody theatre , into which the jesuit hath not intruded and been busie , contributing in a very high measure to evey fanatick insolence , justifying the old pope ioan , the picture of the whore of babylon : these are the firebrands of europe , the forge and bellows of sedition , infernal emissaries , the pests of the age , men that live as if huge sins would merit heaven by an antiperistasis . 7. if authority exact an acknowledgement , &c. i answer ; submit , and observe , that there is no nation without some turbulent spirits of its own , the dishonour of the gown and pulpit , the shame , and sometimes the ruine of their country ; you would think they had their text from a gazet , because you hear so much of a coranto in the application ; that these may be fit implements for the governour : there are these requisite qualifications , there must be a principall gift of wresting the scripture , vexing and urging the holy text , constraining it to patronize the design : the great apostle expresses this in three very emphatical termes , 1. the cogging the die , making the word of god speak what they list , 2. crafty applications and expositions of it , 3. all the methods and arts of cozenage , guilding and varnishing rotten doctrines ; and this must be done in publick pulpits , vomiting out flames and spirit of sulphur from that sacred pegma , where he should deliver none but mild and soft , that is , evangelical embassages . 8. he that suffers his conscience to mislead , &c. i answer ; it is pity the ( crafty upstart ) that will say to his brother , it is a sin to be honest , should have liberty to go in private , and preach in parlours and meeting-houses , where he is listned to as an oracle : and here commonly he is more enthusiast then scripturist , and his auditors believe his dreams to be as canonical as the revelation ; like those mr. heydon speaks of , their dreams are all new lights ; or those this learned gentleman chides , when he tells them that every whimsey is not prophesie . this subtile upstart that lately dropt from the gallow-tree into styx , and turned a soland goose , ought to be of some abilities in disputing ; and what he wants in logick , he must supply in garrulity and babling , for whatsoever he affirms , the interest he hath in his seduc'd hearers , improves into a syllogism : you ask after his topicks , he has his arguments from gregory , but not the saint , if after his weapons , he carries the name of christ in the van of rebellion and robbery ; and the wound he makes is faction : those consciences which will not surrender to his parley , his master takes by storm : and thus he abuses christ , by pretending his favour to unwarrantable actions , he abuses his prince , by alienating the affection and allegiance of his subjects ; he abuses the church by shattering it into rents and schisms , wounding it with a feather from its own wing , snatching a coal from the altar , to fire both church and state ; and lastly , he abuses himself ; for when the political sophister hath made his best use of his seditious spirit , he leaves him to his own wild distempers , having directed his own thoughts to another goal . 9. ostentation of birth at no time decent , &c. i answer ; to keep the conquered quiet and peaceable , and well affected so much as may be , by promises of titles of honour , the people may seem by being conquered , to have gotten a protector , rather then a tyrant ; for the common people , if they enjoy peace , and be not distracted nor drawn from their business , nor exacted upon beyond measure , are easily contained under obedience ; yet notwithstanding they are to be disused from the practise of arms , and other exercises which increase courage , and be weakned of armour , that they have neither spirit nor will to rebel . 10. despise none not for meaness of bloud , &c. i answer ; defame not any woman publickly or privately to another , though you know her to be evil ; for those that are faulty cannot endure to be taxed , but will seek to be avenged of you ; and those that are not guilty cannot endure unjust repro●h : and as there is nothing more shameful and dishonest , then to do wrong , so truth it self cutteth his throat that carrieth her publickly in every place , and despiseth the condition of another . remember the divine saying , he that keepeth his mouth , keepeth his life : do therefore right to all men where it may profit them , you shall thereby get much love ; and forbear to speak evil things of men , though it be true , and thereby you shall avoid malice and revenge . 11. it cannot be looked upon as an act of prudence to do more for another , &c. i answer ; obligation to governours : there is no argument more popular then success in government , because the bulk of men is not able to distinguish the permission of god from his approbation : and although it be in it self fallacious and feeble , yet the misery of the conquered denies them the opportunity to dispute it ; for the opposition of the sword will never be confuted by the bare fist of logick ; nor doth the victor commonly permit any ventilation of his dictatates ; for when the body is a slave why should the reason be free ? a souldier in lybia wondred any would be so importunate to preach laws and moral reasons to men with swords by their sides , as if arms knew not how to descend to rational inquiries , but were enough justified by an odd kind of necessity of their own creating , that all laws are engraven on the hilt of a victorious sword , to whose mandamus all other statutes must submit . 12. no government can be safely engaged by a single person , &c. i answer ; if he gratifie his courtiers and attendants in that sort , and by such means as that he may seem not to pleasure them with the hurt and injury of his people , as with monopolies , &c ▪ i have often wondred with my self , what should move governours to print justifications of themselves , and assertions of their proceedings , which i suppose never made an understanding man a convert , nor met with a cordial reception in any , unless the abuse of a few poor shallow believers , be thought a triumph worth their pains : i have sometimes thought , they do by these papers please themselves in their abilities to delude , and so gratifie their authority over the noblest part of man , by denying the liberty of the thought , and subduing the power of the soul to an implicit coherence with their own magisterial opinions . but the governour of the turks , that politician we must force our pen towards , by quoting the success of his undertakings , besides the plausibleness and insinuating nature of the proposition it self , hath the advantage of power to make us believe him , or any other such like governour that contrives these designes . nor is this bait laid by him , or any other i point not at contemptible ; many of parts and prudence , yea and of religion , have been stagger'd by it : some question whether he deserved the brand of atheism , considering the wild conceits they then had of their gods ; or differed from the common creed , crying out , o how the gods favour sacriledges ! when he had a merry gale after a sacrilegious attempt , the like said dionysius ; the best of the greek historians calls the victory , the just arbitress of the cause ; so did the roman also . so hard it is to perswade meer reason , that virtue may be unfortunate , and vice happy ; and some adore the fortunate , and despise the conquered . 13. a reconciled enemy is not safely to be trusted , yet if any , &c. i answer ; you must never trust any friend or servant with any matter that may endanger your estate : and of this you must take an especial care , for else you will make your self a slave to him that you trust , and leave your self alwayes to his mercy ; and be sure of this , you shall never find a friend in your young years , whose condition and qualities will please you after you come to more discretion and judgement ; and then all you give is lost , and all wherein you shall teach such a one will be discovered : such therefore as are inferious will follow you , but to eat you out , and when you leave to feed them , they will hate you ; and such kind of men , if you preserve your estate , will alwayes be had : and if your friends be of better quality then your self , you may be sure of two things ; the first , that they will be more carefull to keep your counsel , because they have more to lose then you have . the second , they will esteem you for your self , and not for that which you do possess : but if you be subject to any great vanity or ill , from which i hope god will bless you and all other , then therein trust no man , for every mans folly ought to be his greatest secret . 14. grant if ever a courtesie at first asking : for , &c. i answer , nothing does more become a wise man , then to make choise of friends , and advised in courtesies ; for by these you shall be judged what you are : let them therefore be wise and virtuous , and none of those that follow you for gain ; but make election rather of your betters then your inferiours , shunning alwayes such as are poor and needy ; for if you grant twenty courtesies , and give as many gifts , and refuse to do the same but once , all that you have done will be lost ; and such men will become your mortal enemies . 15. be not nice in assisting with the advantages of nature , &c. i answer you friendly where you do not abuse ladies and gentlewomen , and in milde termes . there is some of this leaven in the judgement of most , notwithstanding those brighter discoveries in the noon of christianity we live under . a bible throughly observed , would expound to us much of the riddle and dark passages of providence : we are so short sighted , that we cannot see beyond time without the rules of astrology . we value men and things by their temporal prosperities , & transient glories ; whereas , if we put eternity into the other scale , it would much out-poise that worldly lustre that so much abuses our eyes , and cozens our understandings . i find it not in holy writ , that god hath inseparably annexed goodness and greatness , justice and victory ▪ he hath secured his servants of the felicity of a better life , but not of this ; christs kingdom is not here , our happiness was not of this world : not doth my bible shew me any warrant for appeal to heaven for the decision of this or that intricacy , by bestowing success upon this party , or that cause , according to its righteousness and due merit : there is a vast difference betwixt {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} and {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} {non-roman} , even in scripture construction . the great turk may justly exult and prune himself in discourses of this nature , if they be once admitted and owned by christians . and i shall forbear any longer to think mahomet an impostor , and must receive the alcaron for gospel , if i shall be convinced that temporal happiness and triumph are a true index of divine favour . our religion hath something more to invite our closure with it ; it proposes a conveniency on earth , like heydons book of the way to bliss ; but the crowns and garlands are reserved for heaven , as bliss is . the money-god in plato pretends a command from jupiter , to distribute as great a largess to the wicked as to the good ; because , if vertue should once impropriate riches , that fair goddess would be more wooed for her dowry , then for native beauty . so if religion were attended with those outward allurements that most take the senses , we should be apt to follow christ for the loaves , and overlook the spiritual charms , and more noble ends of christianity . the heathens could say , happy privacy is a thing of unhappy presidency : fortunate sins may prove dangerous temptations ; but to say , that god doth signally attest the actions of such a person , or the justice of such a cause , by permitting it to prosper , and taper up in the world , is such a deceit as deserves our serious abhorrency . 16. 't is not dutiful nor safe , &c. i answer ; princes must take care they be not made fools by flatterers ; for even the wisest men are abused by these : know therefore , that flatterers are the worst kind of traitors for they will strengthen your imperfections , encourage you in all evils , correct you in nothing , but so shadow and paint all your vices and follies , as you shall never by their will know evil from good , or vice from virtue . and because all men are apt to flatter themselves , to entertain the additions of other mens praises is most perillous : do not therefore praise your self , except you will be counted a vain-glorious fool ; neither take delight in the praises of other men , except you deserve it ; and receive it from such as are worthy and honest , and will withall warn you of your faults . 17. it is not safe for a secretary to mend the copy his master hath set him , &c. i answer ; he may if his master be a wise man , and delights not in flatterers , for they have never any virtue , they are over-base , creeping , cowardly persons . a secretary that is a fool , will ●ove a flatterer , and hate a plain honest man ; a flatterer is said to be a beast that biteth smiling : david desired god to cut out the tongue of a flatterer : but ●t is hard to know them from friends , so are they obsequious and full of protestations ; for as a wolfe resembles ● dog , so doth a flatterer a friend : a flatterer is compared to an ape , who because he cannot defend the house like a dog , labour as an ox , or bear burdens as an horse , doth therefore yet pla● tricks and provoke laughter . a secretary may be sure , and so may you that he that will in private tell you your faults , is your friend , for he adventures your mislike , and doth hazard your hatred : for there are few men that can endure it , every man for the most part delighting in self-praise , which is one of the most universal follies which bewitcheth mankind . 18. write not the faults of person near the throne , &c. i answer ; do not accuse any ma● of any crime , if it be not to save your self , your prince , your country ; for there is nothing more dishonourable ( next to treason it self ) then to be an accuser . notwithstanding , i would not have you for any respect lose your reputation , or endure publick disgrace ; for better it were not to live , then to live a coward . i hate a coward : if the offence proceed not from your self ; if it do , it shall be better to compound it on good terms then to hazard your self , for if you overcome , you are under the cruelty of the law ; if you are overcome , you are dead or dishonour'd : if you therefore contend or discourse in argument , let it be with wise and sober men , of whom you may learn by sober reasoning ; and not with ignorant persons , for you shall thereby instruct those that wil not thank you , and utter what they have learned from you , for their own . but if a man know more then other men let him utter it when it may do him honour , and not in assemblies of ignorant and common persons . 19 that it is not unlawful to serve beer , office or arms , &c. i answer ; this is like gusman the tattered spaniard ; and i pass it over as not worth looking on , and go to the next paragraph . 20 court him alwaies you hope one day to make , &c. i answer ; the fancies of men change , and he that loves to day hateth to morrow : let reason therefore , don guzman , be your school-mistris , which ever will guide you aright . 21. t is a natural guard , &c. i answer ; a governour will make friends , and knows how to improve any popular gust he raised , because such a storm is his seed-time ; and the dutchmen boast they can saile with all winds : the aspiring man observes the quarter whence the fairest gales of preferment blow , and tacks about ship , turning his helme to fill the sails of his ambition ; nor can the compass point more varieties of windes then his dexterous soul hath changes and garbes , and suitable compliances . what the orator calls his top and perfection , to make happy application to the several humors and genius of all sorts of men , qualifying his address with what he knows will most charm a friend he treats , that the governour does , not onely with his lips , but life you may find all those figures and tropes digested into his actions , and made practical , that are in the other onely vocal . he remembers that of an almanack-maker , who having now succesfully gained , and written amiable predictions in flattery of three princes , and still in the same aspect of favour , unshaken with the vicissitudes he had run through : being by my self asked by what means he preserved his fortune , he replyed , he was made of the pliant willow , not of the stubborn oke , alwaies of the prevailing religion , and a zealous professor : this easiness and bending is of absolute necessity ; for if the same temper which insinuated in violent times were retained in a composed and setled government , it would be altogether distasteful ; and so on the contrary . 22. mingle not your interest , &c. i answer ; amongst all other things of the world , take care of your estate , which you shall ever preserve , if you observe three things ; first , that you know what you have , what every thing is worth that you have , and to see that you are not wasted by your servants and officers . the second is , that you never spend any thing before you have it , for borrowing is the canker and death of every mans estate . the third is , that you suffer your self not to be wounded for others mens faults , and scourged for others mens offences , which is , to be surety for another ; for thereby millions of men have been beggered and destroyed , paying the reckoning of others mens riot , & the charge of other mens folly and prodigality . 23. let nothing unjustifiable , &c. i answer ; if religion be in fashion , you can scarcely distinguish this man from a saint ; he does not onely reverence the holy ministers , but if need be , he can preach himself ▪ if cunctation prevails , he acts l. if the buckler must be changed for a sword , he personates the prince of conde : if mildness be useful , charles stuart called king of scots , is not more a lamb then he . if severities are requisite , ruperts butcheries are sanctities , compared with his : as cyclope euripides , shifted disposition as he altered place , ( being voluptuous and jovial in ionia , frugal and retired in lacedaemon ) so he proportions himself to time , place , person , religion , with such a plausibleness , as if he had been born onely to serve that opinion which he harboured but as a guest , whilst it continued in sway , having a room in his heart ; if occasion be , to lodge the contrary , and to crie it up with as much ardour as he once used to extol the former ; and thus like a subtile proteus he assumes that shape that is most in grace , and of most profitable conducement to his ends ; he abounds in a voluble wit , and like a changeling more turning then a potters wheel . he hath this advantage of the chamelion , that he can assume whiteness , for i find him often wearing the vest of innocency , to conceal the ugliness and blackness of his attempts in his advice to a son . 24. avoyd the folly of actaeon , &c. i answer ; a princes secrets ought to be kept , and if he be a good governour , he is inviolably constant to his principles of vertue and religious prudence ; his ends are noble , and the means he uses innocent ; he hath a single eye on the publick good ; and if the ship of the state miscarry , he had rather perish in the wreck , then preserve himself uppon the planke of an inglorious subterfuge : his worth hath led him to the helme , the rudder is an honest and vigorous wisdome , the sta● he looks to for direction is in heaven , and the port he aims at is the joynt welfare of prince and people . this constancy is that solid rock upon which the wise venetian hath built its long-liv'd republick , so that it is probable the maiden queen borrowed her motto of semper eadem from this maiden common-wealth . it is true , something is to be conceded to the place and time , and person of a prince ; and i grant that there are many innocent compliances , heydons basilica chymica is observable , there may be a bending without a crookedness , we may circumire , & yet not aberrare ; paul became a jew that he might gain the jews , but he did not become a sinner that he might gain sinners ; he was made all things to all men , but he was not made sin to any , that is , his condescensions were such as did well consist with his christian integrity . greatness and honours and riches , and scepters , those glorious temptations that so much enamour the doting world , are too poor shrines for such a sacrifice as conscience , which the governour hath so much abused by an inveterate neglect , that it is become menstruous , ephemerals . 25. providence or a severer destiny hath , &c. i answer ; when the choice of the affection dies , a general lamentation follows ; for we seldome find any without a peculiar delight in some peculiar thing , though various as their fancies lead them : honour , war , learning , musick , do all find their several votaries , who also if they fail in their souls wishes mourn immoderately . 26 afflict not your self to see , &c. i answer ; the time is come about whereof diogenes prophesied , when he gave the reason why he would be buried groveling , we have made earths bottom powerful to the lofty skies : gold that lay buried in the buttock of the world is now made the head and ruler of the people , putting all under it ; we have made it extensive as the spanish ambition , and in the mean , have undeservedly put worth below it . worth without wealth , is like an able servant out of employment , he is fit for all businesses , but wants wherewith to put himself into any : he hath good materials for a foundation , but misseth wherewith to rear the walls of his fame . for though indeed riches cannot make a man worthy , they can shew him to the world when he is so ; but when we think him wise , we appear to be content to be misled with the multitude . to the rich i confess we owe something , but to the wise man most : to this for himself , and his innate worthiness ; to the other as being causually happy , in things that of themselves are blessings , but never so much , as to make virtue mercenary or a flatterer of vice : worth without wealth besides the native nobleness , has this in it , that it may be the way of getting the wealth which is wanting ; but as for wealth without worth , i count it nothing but a rich saddle for the state to ride an ass withall . 27. one may attain to a higher degree , &c. i answer ; if his conscience will suffer him to swear to those subtile snares the governour layes in such an oath , as may furnish with a sense obliging to the design , he may be preferred . but it appears by sad experience , that in propounding of oaths , requiring promises , and other solemnities , there have been multitudes induced to bind themselves upon some secret , loose , and mental reservation , which they have fram'd to themselves as a salvo in case of breach ; so apt we are in affairs of greatest importance , to advise more with corrupt wit then sound conscience : in the catalogue of self delusion , you may possibly find these . we are ready to interpret the words too kindly , especially if they be ambiguous ; and it is hard to finde terms so positive , but that they may be eluded indeed , or seem to us to be so , if we be disposed . some are invited to illicit promises qua illicit , because they know them to be invalid . some are frighted into these bonds by threats , and losses , and temporal concernments , with the expence of the value of a cellar of beer ; in a scarlet cloak , and a good suit of cloth lined with knavery ; some with a dicker of leather , and a good pair of boots , set up on the highest size of hypocrisie and deceit , to step into preferment ; and then they please themselves that they swear by duress , and so are disingaged some are oath-proof , i mean there are such sear-scul'd men , as will swear pro and con . some have learned from the civilian cleveland , and others of them , that though he swear to a thing not materially unlawful , yet if it impedes a greater moral good , it becomes void . some take liberty to swear , because they judge the person to whom they swear incapable of an oath ; as philalethonus defends the breach of an oath to a thief , from perjury : and this scribler of the advice to a son , to a tyrant to violate his faith is an honest perjury : the first sort of these falls most porperly under the notice and practice of a crafty governour , though he may also use the last , but at different times . 28. though law perish , &c. i answer ; it is not difficult for him to cast his desire into such soft glib expressions as will down with most ; yea , with many that would absolutely disavow the same in rough language ; if he be unskill'd in this black art , i commend him to the pedagogy of the delphick devil . 29. though i hope i have now reason , &c. i answer ; in employments , there is this same method through all the world , in general . all things come to their height by degrees , there they stay the least of time in a prosperous profession , then they decline as they rose ; onely mischief being more importunate , ruines their profession at once , what hath been long a rearing . 30 avoid in your pleadings , &c. i answer ; amongst all other professions , chuse that which your genius is fittest for , as the learned astrologer will tell you : the law i would have have you well read in , but not to know the smart of it ; the practise of it is so gilded with gold , that you may swallow a cause , and forget who may be purged of all their goods and chattels , lands and tenements , by your potions , or neglects . therefore take heed how you delay any man for lucre or gain , or how you manage a bad cause for your client : money i know is apt to bail a rich man , when the honest poor man suffers , because he has no acres to be his hostage . be not made the ass to carry the burdens of other men ; if your friend desire you to be his surety , give him a part of what you have to spare , if he press you farther , he is not your friend at all , for friendship rather chuseth harm to it self then offereth it : if you be bound for a stranger you are a fool , if for a merchant , you put your estate to swim ; if for a churchman he hath no inheritance ; if for a lawyer , he will find an evasion by a syllable or a word , to abuse you ; if for a poor man , you must pay it your self ; if for a rich man , it need not ; therefore from the law suretiship and defamation bless your self . 31. at a conferrence to , &c. i answer ; every unbridled tongue in the end shall find it self unfortunate , for in all that ever i observed in the course of worldly things , i ever found that mens fortunes are oftner made by their tongues then by their virtues , and more mens fortunes overthrown thereby also , then by their vices . 32. if you be to vote in any publick &c. i answer ; the mouth of a wise man is in his heart , the heart of a fool is in his mouth , because what he knoweth or thinketh he uttereth ; and by your words men will judge you : such as your words are , such will your affections be esteemed , and such will your deeds as your affections , and such your life as your deeds : therefore be advised in debates what you discourse of , what you maintain , whether touching religion , scare , or vanity : for if you erre in the first , you shall be counted profane , if in the second , dangerous in the third , indiscreet and foolish . 33. as excellent painters were not wont to fix upon a single beauty , &c. i answer ; if you imitate greatness according to these directions , rather then goodness advised by my self , it is most certain , there is no other tye of security and establishment to a person that hath ravished greatness , and acquired violent oaths : for usurpation hath onely these two pillars , its own arms and militia , and publick oaths and acknowledgement ; and it is scarce worth querie , whether , when the gross of a nation is thus bound , the oath be not as valid , and the conscience as much concerned , as if it had been sworn to a lawful prince . it is reasonable , that an usurping power cannot upon any prudent perswasion , have the same confidence in the love of the people that a just hath ; nor is the following government inticing to imitation ; for never any kingdom badly acquired was well administred . the same with doctor culpeper , where one objecting the vices of princes , receives this answer ; therefore they were not natural princes , but violent usurpers , & so beholding more to fear then love of their subjects . and therefore if the governour by imitation of the blessed means forementioned , can gain a superiority , there is no trusting to those ingenious guards , his own good , and the love of others . his best defence is awe , and fear , and scaffold , and gibbet , &c. for he that hath no voluntary room in the hearts of his people , must use all means to gain a coercive . 34. before i came to have leisure , &c. i answer ; princes frailties and promises are like other mens , and may be put into the same bottomless bag which poets say iupiter made for lovers asseverations . their words are as good as their oaths , for they are both trifles : children are to be cozened with rattles , and men with golden words from a princes mouth . 35. he that seeks perfection on earth , &c. i answer ; nature and religion conjoyned beget fear and love together , admiration , reverence : and these are so rare for qualification , that they beget long life , health , youth , riches , wisdom and vertue . and these are most necessary to perfection , as you read in heydons way to bliss . 36. those that impute their good , &c. i answer ; god will teach you to know you are not wise enough to chuse for your self ; and therefore will lead you to a dependency on him , wherein he does like charles stuart , who feeds not the expectation of favourites that are apt to presume , but often crosses them in their hopes and fears ; thereby to tye them faster in their duty and reverence , to his hand that giveth : and certainly you shall find this infallible ; though god gives not your desires , yet he alwayes imparts to your profit . how infinitely would you intangle your self , if you could sit down and obtain your wishes ? do you not often wish that , which you after see would be your confusion ? and is not this , because you ignorantly follow the flesh , the body , and the blinded appetite , which look to nothing but the shell and outside ? whereas god respecteth the soul , and distributeth his favour for the good of that , and his glory . god sees and knows your heart , and things to come in certainty ; you , but onely by astrology ; which doth often fail of predicting truth , or happily by a rosacrucian , who sometimes to my knowledge loses himself in the clouds of the worlds occasions : and no man would be more misarble , then he that should cull out his own wayes ; what a specious shew carried midas his wish with it , and how it paid him with ruine at last ? surely god will work alone , and man must not be of his counsel : nothing puts destruction on him sooner , then when he presumes to part the empire with god . if you can be patient , god will be profitable ; but the time and means you must leave to him , not challenge to your self : neither must your own endeavours wholly be laid in the couch to late . the moral of the tale is a kind of an instructive satyre , when the carter prayed in vain to iupiter , because he did not put his shoulder to the wheel : do your part with industry , and let god point the event . i have seen matters fall out so unexpected ; neither astrologer not rosacrucian could give any successeful judgement of them ; which have tutoured me in all affairs , neither to dispair nor to presume : not to despair , for god can help me ; not to presume , for god can cross you . it is said of marius , that one day made him emperor , the next saw him rule , the third , he was slain of the souldiers : never despair , because you have a a god ; never presume , because you are a man . 37. as i would have you primarily intend , &c. i answer ; a magistrate or a prince that would establish a troubled government , must first vanquish all his foes ; factious heads must be higher by a pole then their bodies ; for how will the folds be quiet , while yet among them there be some wolves ? he that would rule over many , must fight with many , and conquer , and be sure either to cut off those that raise up tumults , or by a majestick awe , to keep them in a strict subjection : slackness and connivence are the ruines of unsetled kingdoms , your passions and affections are the chief disturbers of your civil state . what peace can you expect within you , while these rebels rest unovercome ? if they get a head your kingdome is divided , so it cannot stand . separations are the wounds of a crown , whereby neglected , it will bleed to death : then you must strive to subdue ; if you cut them not off , you must yet restrain them . 't is no cruelty to deny a traitor liberty , you must have them be your subjects , not your prince ; they must serve you , and you must sway them . if it cannot be without much striving , you must be be content with a hard combat , that you may have a happy reign ; 't is better you endure a short skirmish , then a long siege , having once won the field you must keep it . 38. the like may be imagined of men , &c. i answer ; in all nations two things are cause of a common prosperity , good government , and good obedience ; a good magistrate over a perverse people is a sound head on a surfeited body ; a good common-wealth and a ruler , is a healthful body with a head-aching , either are occasions of ruines , both sound preservatives . a good governour is a skilful ship-master , that takes the shortest way , and the safest course , and continually so stears , as the rocks and shelves which might shipwrack the state , be avoided , and the voyage ever made with the strongest speed , best profit , most ease : but a wicked magistrate is a wolfe made leader of the fold , that both satiates his cruelty , and betrays them to dangers ; to whom , if you add but ignorance , you may without astrology , prophesie or predict destruction : the iudges insufficiency is the innocents calamity . 't is an huge advantage that man hath in a credulous world , that can easily say and swear to any thing ; and yet withal , so palliate his falsifications and perjuries , as to hide them from the conusance of most . the ruler must be furnished with handsome refuges ; if he be wise and tyrannous , that may seemingly heal miscarriages this way , he need not spend much time in inquiry after such helps ; these declining ages will abundantly furnish his invention : but if the common-wealth be obedient , and the ruler worthy , how durable is their felicity and joy ! 39. another error may happen , &c. i answer ; that city is safe , whose citizens are obedient to the magistrates , and the magistrates to the laws . what made the major scipio so victorious , but his wisdom in directing , and his souldiers willingness in obeying , when he could shew his troops , and say , you see not a man among all these , but will if , i command him , from a turret throw himself into the sea ? as it is in the larger world , so it is in the little world of man ; none if they serve the true prince : but have a governour completely perfect : criticism it self cannot find in god to cavil at ; he is both just and merciful , in the concrete and the abstract , he is both of them , who can tax him with either cruelty or partiality ? though your obedience cannot answer his perfection , yet endeavour it : if christ be not your king to govern , he will neither be your prophet to forewarn , nor your priest to expiate : if you cannot come near it in effect , as being impossible , you must in desire , as being convenient : so though less , yet if sincere , you know he will accept it , not as meritorious , but respecting his promise . 40. neither can the , &c. i answer ; let christ be your king , prophet and priest ; and as for the world , i know it too well to perswade you to dive into the practices thereof : rather stand upon your own guard against all that tempt you thereunto , or may practice upon you in your conscience , your reputation or your purse , resolve that no man is wise or safe , but he that is honest . serve god , let him be the author of all your actions , commend all your endeavours to him , that must either wither or prosper them ; please him with prayer , lest if he frown , he confound all your fortunes and labours like drops of rain on the sandy ground : let my experienced advice sink deep into your heart . so god direct you in all his wayes , and fill your heart with his grace . advice to a daughter . v. religion . 1. read the book of god with reverence , and in things doubtful take fixtion from the authority of the church , which cannot be arraigned of a damnable error , without questioning that truth which hath proclaimed her proof against the gates of hell , &c. i answer ; god hath left three books to the world in , each of which he may easily be found ; the book of the creatures , the book of conscience , and his written word : the first shews his omnipotency , the second his justice , the third his mercy and goodness ; so though there be none of them so barren of the rudiments of knowledge , but is sufficient to leave all without excuse , and apologies : yet in them all , you find all the good that ever either the heathen , or the christian hath published abroad : in the first is all natural philosophy : in the second all moral phylosophy : in the third all true divinity , to those admirable pillars of all humane learning , the philosophers god shewed himself in his omnipotency and justice , but seemed as it were to conceal his mercy ; to christians he shines in that which out-shines all his works , his mercy : oh , how should we regratulate his favours for so immense a benefit , wherein secluding himself from others , he hath wholly imparted himself to us ! in the first of these , brightman was not out , nor would i have you , but to admire his works , by a serious meditation of the wonders in the creatures . in the second i would have you reverence his justice by the secret and in most checkes of the conscience : in the third embrace his love by laying hold on those promises , wherein he hath not onely left you means to know him , but to love him , rest in him , and enjoy him forever . 2. the prudent consistory finding , &c. i answer ; can a fly comprehend man upon the top of monarchy ? no more can you comprehend god in the height of omnipotency ; there are as well mysteries for faith , as causes for reason : this may guide you , when you have to deal with man ; but in divine affairs , reason must wait on faith , and submit to her prerogatives . the conscience is great , but god is farre greater then it . 3. he may be less prudent , &c. i do not think the greatest clerks are nearest heaven , much of their knoledge is superfluous ; for bellarmine makes four hundred questions of faith : and doctor owen makes a gracious tale of a great many more ; and not ten of them which toucheth our salvation to understand . 4. despise not a profession of holiness , &c. i answer ; words are not the difference of good men and bad ; for every man speaks well : therefore how noble a thing is virtue , when no man dares profess any thing elss ? 5. hypocrisie though looked upon , &c. i answer ; as i think there are many worse then they seem , so i suppose there are some better then they shew , and these are like the growing chesnut that keeps a sweet and nutrimental kernel included in a rough and prickly husk : the other as the peach ; holds a rugged and craggy stone under the cover of a velvet coat : you should not deceive a good man either way , both offer a wrong to virtue ; the one shews her worse then she is , dulling her beauty with dim colours , and presenting her with an harder favour then her own ; the other doth varnish over the rottenness of vice , and makes goodness but the vizor of hypocrisie , either are condemnable : painting the face is not much worse then wilful soyling it ; he is as well a murtherer , that accuseth himself falsly , as he that did the act , and denies it . one would obscure goodnes with vice , the other would palliate vice with goodness , fraud is in both ; and i am sure no pleasure can make deceit allowable : you must therefore strive to avoyd both , and with either seem as you are , or be as you seem ; but if you will erre on one side , i had rather you should resemble a plain country man , that goes in russet , and is rich in revenues , then a riotous courtier that wears glorious apparel without money in his purse . 6. criticismes and curious questions . &c. i answer ; if a man shall once take upon him to call that light which god calls heavy , that sin venial , which god calls grievous , measuring any one sin by the measures of his lusts and appetite , and not of his conscience : what shall let him to do with the next that his affections stir him to , ( the like reason serving for all ) and so goe forward till he place his whole corrupted affections in gods room . 7. i can approve of none for , &c , i can approve of none for , &c. i answer ; god who calls his elect unto himself to make them enjoy heaven , compels none to make defection from himself : besides , the devil never assails a magisterial divine ; i mean a man so called , except he find him either void of knowledge , the fear of god , or in controversie with his word . 8. i grant the socinians are not , &c. i answer ; that in the direct worship of god himself , you ought to be guided by the word of god , as he prescribes in the same , and not otherwise , as also in the matter of sacrifices ; but in the form and order of ceremonies , that indeed is solely left unto the church , but not the immediate worship , we may not therein follow our own wills , that is the main difference between them and the ancient canons of the church , if you may use a will-worship , then you are in the right with them , but if you may not , then you are in the right with us . 8. and as the socinian doctrine , &c. i answer ; the devil where he cannot have the whole , seeks ever to get one part of the soul , either the will or the understanding , which he may come easiest by ; as in protestants the will , in socinians the understanding : a learned socinian , and an ignorant , are of two religions . 10 , yet were not purgatory , &c. i answer ; the papists religion is like homers iliads of the siege of troy , or virgils aeneads of the beginning of rome ; both of them had a foundation of truth ; so had the papists the bible , but they have all added so much that the first truth is almost lost . 11. but in conclusion you wil find , &c. i answer ; if the pope may err as a man , but not as a pope , i would know why the pope doth not instruct or reform the man , or wherefore the man doth not require the popes instructions ? 12. and yet it was no unhappy , &c. i answer ; it must needs shew the puritans and papists religions to be both ill , that they would plant them by liberty of conscience and war ; whereas the true protestant religion rose by fasting and prayer , and is set up upon the rock of faith , for every good work to mount up the soul to eternal rest with god . 13. i confess the millenaries , &c. i answer ; the true protestant religion stands like a vertue between the presbyterian , papist , annabaptist , independent , quaker , millenary ; that is , an extremity in the excess , this part of them in the effect ; that aimes at the confusion of the state , this other makes confusion in the church : let that prince that desires the welfare of his kingdome , crush the power of the first part , and curb the malice of the other , so shall his church be peaceful , his state honourable , and on his head shall his crown florish . 14. but for the vagabond , &c. i answer ; although particular men of all professions of religion , have been some thieves , some murtherers , some traitors , yet ever when they came to their end and just punishment , they confessed their fault to be in nature , and not in their profession , the roman catholicks onely excepted . 15. and our new levellers , &c. every age breeds some exorbitant spirits , who turn the edge of their own sufficiency upon whatsoever they can devour in their ambitious apprehensions and attempts , seeking rather a great than a good fame , and holding it the chiefest honour to be thought the wonder of their times , which if they attain unto is but in the condition of monsters , that are generally much admired , but more abhorred : and such are the levellers , and with them i place the fift-monarchy men . 16. it is observable in the present , &c. i answer , it matters not much whether in government you tread the steps of severe hannibal , or gentle scipio , so your actions be honourable , and your life vertuous ; both in the one and in the other , there is defect and danger , if not corrected and supported by the fair repute of some extraordinary endowments , so no matter , black or white , so the seed be good . 17. will not such proceeding , &c. i answer ; it has been observed that in all innovations and religions ( which ordinarily have their rise from pretences of religion or reformation , or both ) the breach and neglect of lawes hath been authorized by that great patroness of illegal actions , necessity . now the wild error of anarchy is never without such an advocate as this , for he cares not to distinguish , whether the necessity be of their own creating or no , as for the most part it is , being indeed an apendix to the wrong he undertakes , and signifies no more than that he is compelled to cover wrong with wrong , as if the commission of a second sin were enough to justifie the first . he changes that old charitable advice , benefacta benefactis aliis pertegito ne perpluant , into vitia vitiis pertegito ne perpluant that so heaping one crime upon another , the latter may defend the former from the stroke of justice . he adores a maxime in eugenius theodidactus the civilian , justum est bellum quibus necessarium , & pia arma quibus in armis spes est , that war must needs be just that is necessary , and those arms pious that are all our livelihood : it were very incongruous to desire that man to leave his crutch that cannot walk without , t is no less unnatural to invite him to quit his sword , whose life and fortune leans entirely upon it . 18. nevertheless though a high , &c. i answer again , if he can insinuate the scope of the war to be zealous & legal , a little daubing will serve to legalize the circumstances : that of the civilians must be remembred , licere in bello quae ad finem sunt necessaria , nothing is unlawful in war , that serves the end and design of it : the oracles of the gown are too tender for the sword men , and it may be he had wit in his anger , who affirmed , that martial law was as great a solecism as martial peace . if the people be once possest that his aims and ends are fair , will never expect that the media for attainment of his end , should be retrenched by the strict boundaries of law ; he manages that rule very practically , i may invade any thing of any mans that threatens certain danger to me if i suffer him to enjoy it . now he can very plausibly make this certain danger or incertain , as shall best suit with his affaires : it is a broad liberty that culpeper concedes . if i have no other way to assure my life , i may by any means repel any power that assaults it , though just ; self-defence being a clear dictate of nature ; when life and liberty and safety come in question , there ought no consideration to be had of just or unjust , pitiful or cruel , honourable or dishonourable . now when the people have according to his desire got over the great obstacle , and digested the plot for pious , it is easy to set all future proceedings upon the score of liberty , safety , religion ; and if he be constrained to use means grosly unlawful , t is but to make them seem holy in the application , and all 's well ; for it is the humour and genius of the vulgar , when they have once rushed into a party implicitely , to prosecute it as desperately as if they were under demonstrative convictons of its justice . he doth make a vertue of necessity , because there is no other verttue will so easily be induced to serve his proceedings as this ; she may well smile upon licentiousness , who hath her self no law . 19. keep then your conscience tender , &c. i answer ; it is either science or opinion which you mean by the word conscience ; for men say that such and such a thing is true in and upon their conscience , which they never do , when they think it doubtful , and therefore they know or think they know it to be true ; but men , when they say things upon their conscience , are not therefore presumed certainly to know the truth of what they say ; it remaineth then that the word is used by them that have an opinion not onely of the truth of the thing , but also of their knowledge of it , to which the truth of the proposition is consequent : conscience i therefore say is the opinion of evidence , and the devil never troubles the conscience , except he find the man either void of knowledge or of the fear of god . 20. fly that self-murdering tyrant , &c. i answer ; most heresies have proceeded from mingling philosophy with religion ; from that , and obstinacy of policy , have all the papists errours risen : when christ tels them , that flesh and bloud cannot inherit the kingdom of heaven . 21. all religions but ours , &c. i answer ; variety in any thing distracteth the mind , and leaves it waving in a dubious trouble : and then how easie it is to sway the mind to either side ? but among all the diversities that we meet with none trouble us more then those that are of religion : t is rare to find two kingdoms one ; as if every nation had ( if not a god ) yet at least a way to god by it self , this stumbles the unsetled soul ; that not knowing which way to take without the danger oferring , sticks to none , so dies ere he does that for which he was made to live , the service of the true almighty ; we are born as men set down in the midst of a wood , circled round with several voyces , calling us ; at first , we see not which will lead us the way out ; so divided in our selves , we sit still and follow none , remaining blind in a flat atheism , which strikes deep at the foundation both of our own and the whole worlds happiness . t is true , if we let our dimmed understanding search in these varieties ( which yet is the onely means that we have in our selves to do it with ) we shall certainly lose our selves in their windings ; there being in every of them something to believe , above that reason that leads us to the search : reason gives us the anatomy of things , and illustrates with a great deal of plainness all the wayes that she goes , but her line is too short to reach the depth of religion : religion carries a confutation a long with it , & with an high hand of soveraignty , awes the inquisitive tongue of nature , and when she would sometimes murmure privately , she will not let her speak : reason like a milde prince is content to shew his subjects the causes of his commands and rule ; religion with a higher strain of majesty , bids do it , without inquiring further then the bare command ; which without doubt is a means of procuring mighty reverence : what we know not , we reverently admire ; what do know , is in a sort subject to the triumphs of the soul that hath discovered it . and this not knowing makes us not able to judge ; every one tels us , his own is the truest & there is none i think , but hath been seal'd with the bloud of some ; nor can i see , how we may more then probably prove any , they being all set in such heights , as they are not subject to the demonstrations of reason ; and as we may easier say what a soul is not then what it is , so we may more easily disprove a religion for false , then prove it for one that is true , there being in the world far more errors then truth ; yet is there besides another misery , near as great as this , and that is , that we cannot be our own chusers , but must take it upon trust , from others . are we not oft , before we can discern the true , brought up and grounded in the false , sucking in heresie with our milk in childhood ? nay when we come to years of abler judgement , wherein the mind is grown up complete man , we examine not the soundness , but retain it meerly because our fathers taught it : what a lamentable weakness is this in man , that he should build his eternal welfare on the approbation of perhaps a weak and ignorant parent ? why do you neglect that wherein should be your greatest care ? 22. as it it manifest that most princes , &c. i answer ; there are few which first fit that precept of trying all things , and taking the best : assuredly though faith be above reason , yet there is a reason to be given for faith , he is a fool that believes he knows neither what , nor why : among all the diversities of religions that the world holds , i think it may stand with most safety , that , which makes most for gods glory , and mans quiet . i confess in all the treatises of religion that i ever saw , i find none that i would so soon follow as that of the protestant church of england , i never found so sound a foundation , so sure a direction for religion : as the song of the angels at the birth of christ , glory be to god on high ; there is the honour the reverent obedience , and the admiration , and the adoration , which we ought to give him : on earth peace ; this is the effect of the former working in the hearts of men , whereby the world appears in his noblest beauty , being an entire chain of intermuted amity : and good will toward men ; this is gods mercy to reconcile man to himself , after his fearfull desertion of his maker . search all religions the world through , and you shall find none that ascribes so much to god , nor that constitutes so firm a love among men as does the established doctrine of the protestant church among us , all other either detract from god , or infringe the peace of men . the jews in their talmud say , before god made this , he made many other worlds , and marr'd them again , to keep himself from idleness . the turks in their alcaron bring him in discoursing with the angels , and they telling him of things which before he knew not , and after they made him swear by mahomets pen and lines , and by figs and olives . the papists pourtray him as an old man , and by this means disdeifie him , derogating also from his royalty by their odious interposing of merit : and for the society of men , what bloudy tenents do they all hold ? as that he deserves not the name of rabbi , that hates not his enemy to the death , that t is no sin to revenge injuries , that it is meritorious to kill an heretick , with whom no faith is to be kept ; even to the un-glewing of the whole worlds frame , contexed onely by commerce and contracts : what abhorred barbarisms did selymus leave in precept to his successor solyman ? which though i am not certain they were ratified by their mufties , i am sure , are practised by the inheritors of his empire . 23. but if s. peters pretended successor , &c. i answer ; in the primitive church of rome , they were inferiour to bishops , and were but seven in number , as parsons of the seven churches mentioned about rome ; but how they came to place them before bishops , and make of them princes and successors to s. peter , and potentates , and how they become the electors of the papacy , i know not . in other religions of the heathens , what fond opinions have they held of their gods , reviling with unseemly threats , when their affairs have thwarted them ? as if allowing them the name , they would conserve the numen to themselves : in their sacrifices , how butcherly cruel ? as if ( as t is said of them ) they thought by inhumanity , to appease the wrath of an offended deity . the religion which i profes , establisheth all in another strain : what makes more for gods glory , what makes more for the mutual love of man , then the gospel ? all our abilities of good we offer to god as the fountain from whence they stream ; can the day be light , and that light not come from the sun ? can a clock go without a weight to move it , or a keeper to set it ? as for man , it teaches ro tread on cotton , milds his wilder temper , and learns him in his patience to affect his enemies ; and for that which doth partake of both , it makes just god , a friend to unjust man , without being unjust either to himself or man ; sure , it could be no other then the invention of a deity , to find out a way , how man that had made himself justly unhappy , should , with a full satisfaction to exactest justice , be made again most happy ; as in heydons book of the way to bliss and happiness you may read : i would wish no man that is able to try , to take his religion upon others words ; but once resolved in it t is dangerous to neglect where you know you do owe a service . 24. it is no less worth your , &c. i answer ; that the religion of the turks was composed of the iewish religion , of the christian , and of the arrians ; and the policy thereof was to draw infinites of people to his subjection , that were uncertainly affected ; as in the low-countries they use diversities of religions to strengthen their power : but this is a strange policy when god is neglected of man , man shall be contemned of god ; when man abridged god of his honour , god will shorten man of his happiness . it cannot but be best to give all to him , of whom whatsoever we have we hold . i believe it safest to take that religion which most magnifies god , and makes most for the peaceable conversation of men ; for as we cannot ascribe too much to him , to whom we owe more then we can ascribe , so i think the most splendid estate of man , is that which comes nearest to his first creation , wherein all thing wrought together in the pleasant embracements of mutuall love and concord . 25. religions do not naturally , &c. i answer ; men are often in arguing carried by the force of words further asunder than their question was at first , like two ships going out of the same haven , their journies end is many times whole countries distant ; the like may be said of the differences of religion . 26. let no seeming opportunity prevail so far , &c. i answer ; fortunetellers , as you ignorantly call them , are properly called astrologers , and they know that man is the ball of times , that is , sometimes taken from the plow to the throne ; and sometimes again from the throne to a halter , as inchanters ple●se , besides astrologers . but you are governed by a power that you cannot but obey , your mind is set against your mind to alter you : eugenius philalethes the welsh philosopher questions whether this be nature ordered and relinquisht , or whether it be accidental , or the eternal connexion of causes : i answer him it is neither , but the operating power of the starrs by sepheroth exerting of the will of god ; fear nothing but god . 27. stamp not the impress , &c. i answer ; there is a providence that ordereth all things as it pleaseth , of of which neither astrologer , geomancer nor inchanter is able to render reason ; for it is a kind of mundane predestination , writ in such characters , the late kings death , and now others , are so written , as it is not for any but a rosa crucian to read them ; in vain you murmur at the changes that must be . 28. be not easily drawn to lay , &c. i answer ; the power of witches is nothing , for we are alwaies in the hands and under the power of a noble protector ; who never gives ill but to him that has deserved ill , whatsoever befalls you , you must subscribe to with a round soul ; it were a super insaniated folly to strugle with a power , which you know is in vain contended with , if a fair endeavour may free you ; you must practise it , if that cannot wait with a calmed mind . whatsoever happens as a wonder , you must admire and magnifie ; as the act of a power above your apprehension . but as it is an alteration to man , you must never think it marvelous , when every day a reputed witch suffers more changes then is of her self to imagine . 29. be not therefore hasty to , &c. i answer ; self examination will make your judgement , charitable . it is from where there is no judgement , that the heaviest judgement comes if you must needs censure , it is good to do it as suetonius writes of the twelve caesars ; tell both their vertues , and their vices unpartially : and leave the upshot to collection of the private mind , so shall you learn by hearing of the faults , to avoid them , and by knowing the vertuous practice the like , otherwise you should rather praise a man for a little good , then brand him for his more of ill , you are full of faults by nature , you are good not without care and industry . 30. as he offers an high indignity , &c. i answer ; when god distinates a man to do good , he makes every opportunity and occasion ( though it seem never so harsh in mans eyes ) to turn to his good , and gods glory : but when god leaves man to himself , he makes more opportunities than he finds , and without occasion to work his own ruine , to his own shame : 31. let not the cheapness , &c. i answer ; let that great rule be received that no man can be necessitated to the sin of purchasing church lands , our divines generally damn an officious lye ; & the equity binds from any officious sin m. heydon , speaking of the romans and spaniards saith , t is impossible to be ambitious without injury to the gods ; temples themselves are not exempted from the fury of conquering tyrants , the sacriledges of the romans were as numerous as their trophies , yet their gods followed their triumphant chariots . 32. denounce no enmity , &c. i answer ; the clergy is as full of changes as the moon , for i cannot see one of them setled in a church , but before i have heard four sermons , his face i perceive is full of strange gestures , and his tongue of novelty . 33. grudge not tythes , &c. i answer ; the minister of our parish said to me touching conformity , that it would be a scandal for himself to conform , yet told me he would allow that his son may do it ; as if he living a fool all his life , desired so to die ; and would you not grudge tythes to such ? yet the labourer is worthy of his hire . 34. yet i cannot but by the way , &c. i answer ; let that eternal god which raised so brave a fabrick out of such indisposed materials ; that weilds the world with his finger ever since it was made ; that controuls the waves , and checks the tumults of the people of all religions ; that sits above , and laughs at the malignant counsels and devices of wicked men : let his mercy be implored for the speedy succour of his distressed church , that the rod of aaron may blossom ; that the tabernacle of david may be raised ; that the subtle factious inventors of schisms may be caught in their own snare : and that the result of all afflictions may be the granting his glory , and exalting of his scepter . 35. and here it may not improperly , &c. i answer ; let us mix our prayers , that god would forever banish those cursed devices of cardinal wolsey and others i dare not name , out of europe and the christian world ; and damn them down to hell , from whence originally by policy they came : and let such advisers as delight to abuse others , think of that self-cousenage , with which in the interim they abuse themselves , god permitting the devil to revenge the imposture ; and whilst we are busie with politick stratagems , subtle advices , and tortious armes to invade the rights of others : let us all consider , that this is not the violence that takes heaven . the conclusion . 1. bear alwayes a filial reverence , &c. i answer ; honour your father and mother , and enjoy the promise of the lord , and consider what a wise daughter saith , that a wise woman overseeth the wayes of her husband , and eateth not the bread of idleness ; these advices are very naturally a mothers affectionate love to a child , therefore remember them . 2. continue in love and amity with your sister , &c. i answer ; i advice you to be so to your brother , and take his advice mixed with your mothers , in the admission of a servant you please with their consent to accept as your husband . 3. let no time expunge his memory , &c. i answer ; remember how much mr. culpeper and his wife have done for you , and thank god for your happiness . 4. what you leave at your death , &c. i answer ; make your will , so that there may be no strife in dividing your goods , chattels , lands or tenements ; for the lawyers will do by you and them , as one did by a cripple and a blind man , the one found an oyster , and the other took it up ; a lawyer rides by , and they shewing him the cause , he opens the oyster and eats it , and gives them the shells : therefore be wise . 5. be not solicitous after pomp , &c. i answer ; let my burial be after the protestant form , by a minister of the same faith , without the burthen of a tomb-stone , or any expence except a piece of earth opened as big as my body , made ready to receive it , that it may grow fit for etenal life , through the mercy and merits of jesus christ . 6. neither can i apprehend such , &c. i answer ; death is a sleep eternal , the bodies dissolution , the rich mans fear , the poor mans wish ; an event inevitable , an uncertain journey , a thief that steals away man , sleeps father , lifes fight , the departure of the living , and the resolution of all , who may not from such sights and thoughts as these , learn if he will , both humility and loftiness ; the one to vilifie the body , which must once perish in a stenchful nastiness ; the other to advance the soul , which lives here but for a higher and more heavenly ascension : as you should not care for too much indulgiating of the flesh , which you must one day yield to the worms , so you should ever be studious for such actions as may appear the issues of a noble and diviner soul . 7. and concerning a future account , &c. i answer , let it be a piece of our daily oraisons , that god would guard our pulpits from such boutefeu's , as like aetna and vesuvius , belched forth nothing but flames and fiery discourses of the day of judgement , using the scriptures as preposterously and impertinently as some pontificians , who transported with the vehemence of hildebrand's zeal , think the temporal monarchy of popes sufficiently scriptural , from the saying of christ to peter , feed my sheep : far be it from us , to intitle the spirit of god to exorbitant doctrines . it is easie to distinguish the vulture from the dove ; the miscarriages of the clergy have a deeper stain from the sacredness of their function , as probably he that invenomed the eutcharist , has the more to answer for his a riple crown . it is manifest that we ●re fallen into the dregs of time ; we ●ive in the rust of the iron age , and must expect to feel , ultima senescentis mundi delivia , the dotages of a decrepit world . what is become of truth , sincerity , charity , humility , those antiqui mores ? whither are they gone ? did they attend astrea into heaven , and have left such dangerous successours , as cruelty , pride , fraud , envy , oppression , &c. 8. to conclude let us , &c. i answer to pray to the lord with lips for any corporal benefit , and yet to have the heart fixed in confidence of any natural means is a kind of spiritual adultery . and i have seen a good beginning often end ill , sin in the bud is fair , sweet , pleasing : but the fruit is death horror hell , something you must respect in your way , most in your conclusion in the one to prevent all wilful errors , in the other , to insure a crown , for as judgment hath relation to the manner of dying , so hath death dependance on the course of living , yet the good end hath no bad beginning ; it once had a good consequence makes the premises so esteemed of , and a sweet rellish at the leaving off , makes the draught delightful , that at the first did taste unpleasant ; that is well that ends well , and better is a bad beginning that concludes well , then a prosperous on set that ends in complaint : what if your beginning hath been ill ? sorrows overblown , are pleasant ; that which hath been hard to suffer is sweet to remember , i care not much what my youthful beginning hath been , my end is drawing on , and age bids adieu to the follies of youth , so my end will be happy ; if my sun set in the new ierusalem , i have lived well , however afflictions have sometimes clouded my course . thus sixteen dayes hath left you furnished ( dear daughter ) an answer to the advice to a son , which was printed five times before i saw it ; and i hope , i have answered the expectation of the reader . against the second impression i will make an addition , and by that time his old rusty sword will be new furbished and ready to give me a breathing ; but i am alwayes provided of such as these . let him wisely be silent , and sleep securely . now you are taught to live , ther 's nothing i esteem worth learning , but the way to die . i answer . he that knowes how to live , say i , will easily learn the way to die . the end . an index , of the particulars contained , in the advice to a son , opposed in this advice to a daughter . 1 studies , &c. 1. free-schooles . 2. universities . 3. meer scholars . 4. more free education . 5. collegiat discipline . 6. physick 7. probable learning and mathematicks . 8. volumes . 9. old and modern authors . 10. histories . 11. choice books , negotiations , &c. 12. converse . 13. pedants . 14. reading , &c. 15. strong lines . 16. exercise . 17. of style . 18. letters . 19. sordid phrases . 20. writers 21. poetry . 22. musick , 23. clothes . 24. buying . 25. horses . 26. riding . 27. wrestling , vaulting , fencing 28. swimming . 29. hunting , hawking . 30. suretiship . 31. publick faith . 32. bargaining . 33. implicit judging . 34. pride . 35. superciliousness . 36. to whisper . 37. gesture in speaking . 38. boldness . 39. covetousness . 40. servants . 41. rising out of bed . 42. eating , &c. 43. drunkenness , constables . 44. vile plots . 45. company . 46. ieering . 47 , 48. proverbs , injuries , fighting duels . 49. insultings . 50. ordinaries . 51. dogs , boyes , whores . 52. secrecy . 53. boasting of 54. the favours of women . 55. married . 56. great ladies at . 57. maskes played . ii love and marriage . 1. the nature and effects of love . 2. upon youth tempting it . 3. to marry . 4. unhappily for beauty . 5. without mony and . 6. to swallow the fatal bait . 7. not answering expectation . 8. marry not a famed beauty . 9. laws concerning marriage somewhat strict . 10. though perhaps for the publick benefit . 11. the result of policy . 12. restraint troublesome . 13. fruition tedious . 14. wives , lust , iealousy . 15. discomforts from children . 16. and other wedlock conveniencies . 17. best palliated by an estate . 18. portion ioynture . 19 , 20. the unhappiness of poor marriage . 21. as well as those too high . 22. travel to avoid danger from . 23. a handsome woman . 24. fond love an ill counsellor . 25. children how much to be desired . iii travell . 1. the consequences good and bad of travel : 2. with an embassador . — 3. as a merchant . — 4. in case of war whither . — 5. direction about performing divine duties . — 6. declining disputes of religion . — 7. regulating zeal . 8. vindicating customes . 9. comparisons . 10. censuring fashions , authors english , 11. the inquisition prohibited books . 12. the eucharist . 13. crucifixes . 14. forraign churches . 15. scoffers at their own religion . 16. english in orders . 17. or otherwise the worst companions . 18. injuries . 19. gaming . 20. womens favours . 21. impatient desires : charmes of wenches in love . 22. italian lasts . 23. gifts . 24. many removes . 25. inns , new acquaintance servants . 26. experience , languages . 27. mahumetan in civility . 28. plantations . iv government . 1. change , commotions , tumults . 2. ambitious incendiaries . 3. a war for religion oppression . 4. submit to wicked powers . 5. weariness and fidelity . 6. submission to . 7. recognition of present powers . 8. the original of dominion . &c. 9. titles of honour . 10. mean birth . 11. obligation to governours what . 12. to a prince , to a free state siding . 13. enemies reconciled ' trust not ingratitude . 14. courtesies promises . 15. counsel , &c. 16. not to nonplus a prince . 17. secretaries . 18. intelligences . in formers , minions . 19. serving wicked masters . 20. observance . 21. friendship . 22. dependency . 23. writing things dangerous . 24. revealing princes secrets . 25. forraign interests . 26. not to trouble you . 27. monarchies and repub. compared for their preferments and dangers . 28. oratory 29. one profession as the law a full employment . 29. not to defame in pleading . 31. to speak last , &c. 32. debates in counsells . 33. to imitate more then one . 34. frailties attend the greatest persons . 35. no perfection here . 36. success to be ascribed to providence . 37. directions to all magitrates about preferments . 38. punishments . 39. the souldiery . 40. the clergy . v religion . 1. the bible , church expositors &c. 2. audacious interpreters to be restrained . 3. universal consent . 4. profession . 5. hypocrisy , scandal . 6. criticisms , schoole divinity . 7. controversies . 8. socinians . 9. popery . 10. purgatory , &c. 11. the reformation . 12. works , profession faith . 13. millenaries . 14. schismaticks . 15. levellers . 16. the present wild errors . 17. tend to anarchy , moses , mahumet . 18. zeale in excess . 19. tender consciences . 20. obstinacy of hereticks . 21. idolatry , ceremony , conformity . 22. courtiers and common peoples religion . 23. reason , the scripture , belief , antiquity , revelation , &c. 24. honesty of indians . 25. difference of religion ; good conscience . 26. fortune-tellers hope and fear . 27. divine vengeance . 28. witch craft . 29. rash censures , charity . 30. impiety , improbity , injustice . 31. purchase of church-lands . 32. enmity to the clergy , religion established , new lights . 33. tithes . 34. wisdom of moses . 35. cardinal wolseyes folly . the conclusion . carriage towards your mother . 2 sister . 3. dr. culpeper , 4. your last will . 5. my burial . 6. death . 7 iudgement . 8. close of all . the end . advice to a daughter as to religion, husband, house, family and children, behaviour and conversation, friendship, censure, vanity and affectation, pride, diversions : to which is added the character of a trimmer, as to the laws and government, protestant religion, the papists, forreign affairs / by the late noble m. of h.. lady's new-year's gift halifax, george savile, marquis of, 1633-1695. 1699 approx. 253 kb of xml-encoded text transcribed from 147 1-bit group-iv tiff page images. text creation partnership, ann arbor, mi ; oxford (uk) : 2007-10 (eebo-tcp phase 1). a44583 wing h290 estc r9539 12253429 ocm 12253429 57209 this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the early english books online text creation partnership. this phase i text is available for reuse, according to the terms of creative commons 0 1.0 universal . the text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. early english books online. (eebo-tcp ; phase 1, no. a44583) transcribed from: (early english books online ; image set 57209) images scanned from microfilm: (early english books, 1641-1700 ; 146:11) advice to a daughter as to religion, husband, house, family and children, behaviour and conversation, friendship, censure, vanity and affectation, pride, diversions : to which is added the character of a trimmer, as to the laws and government, protestant religion, the papists, forreign affairs / by the late noble m. of h.. lady's new-year's gift halifax, george savile, marquis of, 1633-1695. coventry, william, sir, 1628?-1686. the sixth edition. [13], 105, 164 p. : port. printed for m. gillyflower and b. tooke, [london] : 1699. "the character of a trimmer" is given first on the film and has a t.p. which reads: the character of a trimmer ... the third edition. the advice to a daughter follows the character of a trimmer and has a t.p. which follows the general t.p., and reads: the lady's new-year's gift, or, advice to a daughter ... the sixth edition, exactly corrected. the first three editions of the character of a trimmer were erroneously ascribed to sir william coventry: now established as the work of his nephew, george savile, marquis of halifax. cf. dnb. place of publication from wing. reproduction of original in british library. created by converting tcp files to tei p5 using tcp2tei.xsl, tei @ oxford. re-processed by university of nebraska-lincoln and northwestern, with changes to facilitate morpho-syntactic tagging. gap elements of known extent have been transformed into placeholder characters or elements to simplify the filling in of gaps by user contributors. eebo-tcp is a partnership between the universities of michigan and oxford and the publisher proquest to create accurately transcribed and encoded texts based on the image sets published by proquest via their early english books online (eebo) database (http://eebo.chadwyck.com). the general aim of eebo-tcp is to encode one copy (usually the first edition) of every monographic english-language title published between 1473 and 1700 available in eebo. eebo-tcp aimed to produce large quantities of textual data within the usual project restraints of time and funding, and therefore chose to create diplomatic transcriptions (as opposed to critical editions) with light-touch, mainly structural encoding based on the text encoding initiative (http://www.tei-c.org). the eebo-tcp project was divided into two phases. the 25,363 texts created during phase 1 of the project have been released into the public domain as of 1 january 2015. anyone can now take and use these texts for their own purposes, but we respectfully request that due credit and attribution is given to their original source. users should be aware of the process of creating the tcp texts, and therefore of any assumptions that can be made about the data. text selection was based on the new cambridge bibliography of english literature (ncbel). if an author (or for an anonymous work, the title) appears in ncbel, then their works are eligible for inclusion. selection was intended to range over a wide variety of subject areas, to reflect the true nature of the print record of the period. in general, first editions of a works in english were prioritized, although there are a number of works in other languages, notably latin and welsh, included and sometimes a second or later edition of a work was chosen if there was a compelling reason to do so. image sets were sent to external keying companies for transcription and basic encoding. quality assurance was then carried out by editorial teams in oxford and michigan. 5% (or 5 pages, whichever is the greater) of each text was proofread for accuracy and those which did not meet qa standards were returned to the keyers to be redone. after proofreading, the encoding was enhanced and/or corrected and characters marked as illegible were corrected where possible up to a limit of 100 instances per text. any remaining illegibles were encoded as <gap>s. understanding these processes should make clear that, while the overall quality of tcp data is very good, some errors will remain and some readable characters will be marked as illegible. users should bear in mind that in all likelihood such instances will never have been looked at by a tcp editor. the texts were encoded and linked to page images in accordance with level 4 of the tei in libraries guidelines. copies of the texts have been issued variously as sgml (tcp schema; ascii text with mnemonic sdata character entities); displayable xml (tcp schema; characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or text strings within braces); or lossless xml (tei p5, characters represented either as utf-8 unicode or tei g elements). keying and markup guidelines are available at the text creation partnership web site . eng young women -conduct of life. great britain -politics and government -1660-1688. 2005-11 tcp assigned for keying and markup 2005-12 apex covantage keyed and coded from proquest page images 2006-11 ali jakobson sampled and proofread 2006-11 ali jakobson text and markup reviewed and edited 2007-02 pfs batch review (qc) and xml conversion depiction of a woman advice to a daughter , as to religion , husband , house , family and children , behaviour and conversation , friendship , censure , vanity and affectation , pride , diversions . the sixth edition . to which is added the character of a trimmer , as to the laws and government , protestant religion , the papists , forreign affairs . by the late noble m. of h. printed for m. gillyflower and b. tooke , 1699. the lady's new-year's-gift : or , advice to a daughter , under these following heads : viz. religion , husband , house , family and children , behaviour and conversation , friendships , censure , vanity and affectation , pride , diversions . the sixth edition , exactly corrected . london , printed by w. h. for m. gillyflower , at the spread-eagle in westminster-hall , 1699. licensed , jan. 9. 1689. rob. midgley . the character of a trimmer , his opinion of i. the laws and government . ii. protestant religion . iii. the papists . iv. foreign affairs . by the late noble m. of h. the third edition . london , printed for m. gillyflower and b. tooke , 1699. the preface . it must be more than an ordinary provocation than can tempt a man to write in an age over-run with scriblers , as egypt was with flies and locusts : that worst vermin of small authors has given the world such a surfeit , that in●te●● of desiring to write , a man would be more inclin'd to wish , fo● h●● own ease , that hecould not read ; but there are some things which do so raiseour passions , that our reason can make no resistance ; and when madmen , in two extreams , shall agree to made common sense treason , and joyn to fix an ill character upon the only men in the nntion who deserve a good one ; i am no longer master of my better resolution to let the world alone , and must break loose from my more reasonable thoughts , to expose these false coyners , who would make their copper wares pass upon us for good payment . amongst all the engines of dissention , there has been none more powerful in all times , than the fixing names upon one another of contumely and reproach , and the reason is plain , in respect of the people , who tho' generally they are uncapable of making a syllogism or forming an argument , yet they can pronounce a word ; and that serves their turn to throw it with their dull malice at the head of those they do not like ; such things ever begin in jest , and end in blood , and the same word which at first makes the company merry , grows in time to a military signal to cut one anothers throats . these mistakes are to be lamented , tho' not easily cured , being suitable enough to the corrupted nature of mankind ; but 't is hard , that men will not only invent ill names , but they will wrest and misinterpret good one ; so afraid some are even of a reconciling sound , that they raise another noise to keep it from being heard , left it should set up and encourage a dangerous sort of men , who prefer peace and agreement , before violence and confusion . were it not for this , why , after we have played the fool with throwing whig and tory at one another , as boys do snow-balls , do we grow angry at new a name , which by its true signification might do as much to put us into our wits , as the other has done to put us out of them ? this innocent word trimmer signifies no more than this , that if men are together in a boat , and one part of the company would weigh it down on one side , another would make make it lean as much to the contrary ; it happens there is a third opinion of those , who conceive it would do as well , if the boat w●nt even , without endangering the passengers ; now 't is hard to imagin by what figure in language , or by what rule in sense this comes to be a fault , and it is much more a wonder it should be thought a heresy . but so it happens , that the poor trimmer has now all the powder spent upon him alone , while the whig is a forgotten , or at least a neglected enemy ; there is no danger now to the state ( if some men may be believed ) but from the beast called a trimmer , take heed of him , he is the instrument that must d●stroy church and state ; a new kind of monster , whose deformity is so expos'd , that , were it a true picture that is made of him , it would be enough to fright children , and make women miscarry at the sight of it . but it may be worth the examining , whether he is such a beast as he is ●ainted . i am not of that opinion , and am so far from thinking him an infidel either in church or state , that i am neither afraid to expose the articles of his faith in relation to government , nor to say that i prefer them before any other political creed , that either our angry divines , or our refined states-men would impose upon us . i have therefore in the following discourse endeavour'd to explain the trimmer's principles and opinions , and then leave it to all discerning and impartial judges , whether he can with justice be so arraign'd , and whether those who deliberately pervert a good name , do not very justly deserve the worst that can be put upon themselves . the trimmer's opinion of the laws and government . our trimmer , as he has a great veneration for laws in general , so he has more particular for our own , he looks upon them as the chains that tye up our unruly passions , which else , like wild beasts let loose , would reduce the world into its first state of barbarism and hostility ; the good things we enjoy , we owe to them ; and all the ill things we are freed from is by their protection . god himself thought it not enough to be a creator , without being law-giver , and his goodness had been defective towards mankind in making them , if he had not prescribed rules to make them happy too . all laws flow from that of nature , and where that is not the foundation , they may be legally impos'd , but they will be lamely obeyed : by this nature is not meant that which fools and madmen misquote to justify their excesses ; it is innocent and uncorrupted nature , that which disposes men to chuse vertue , without its being prescrib'd , and which is so far from inspiring ill thoughts into us , that we take pains to suppress the good ones it infuses . the civilized world has ever paid a willing subjection to laws , even conquerors have done homage to them ; as the romans , who took patterns of good laws , even from those they had subdued ; and at the same time that they triumph'd over an enslav'd people , the very laws of that place did not only remain safe , but became victorious ; their new masters , instead of suppressing them , paid them more respect than they had from those who first made them : and by this wise method they arrived to such an admirable constitution of laws , that to this day they reign by them ; the excellency of them triumphs still , and the world pays now an acknowledgment of their obedience to that mighty empire , though so many ages after it is dissolved ; and by a later instance , the kings of france , who , in practice use their laws pretty familiarly , yet think their picture is drawn with most advantage upon their seals , when they are placed in the seat of justice ; and tho' the hicroglyphick is not there of so much use to the people as they would wish , yet it shews that no prince is so great , as not to think fit , for his own credit at least , to give an outward , when he refuses a real worship to the laws . they are to mankind that which the sun is to plants , whilst it cherishes and preserves ' em . where they have their force & are not clouded or supprest , every thing smiles and flourishes ; but where they are darkened , and not suffered to shine out , it makes every thing to wither and decay . they secure men not only against one another , but against themselves too ; they are a sanctuary to which the crown has occasion to resort as often as the people , so that it is an interest as well as a duty to preserve them . there would be no end of making a panegyrick of laws ; let it be enough to add , that without laws the world would become a wilderness , and men little less than beasts ; but with all this , the best things may come to be the worst , if they are not in good hands ; and if it be true that the wisest men generally make the laws , it is as true , that the strongest do often interpret them : and as rivers belong as much to the channel where they run , as to the spring from whence they first rise , so the laws depend as much upon the pipes thro' which they are to pass , as upon the fountain from whence they flow . the authority of a king who is head of the law , as well as the dignity of publick justice , is debased , when the clear stream of the law is puddled and disturbed by bunglers , or convey'd by unclean instruments to the people . our trimmer would have them appear in their full lustre , and would be grieved to see the day , when , instead of speaking with authority from the seats of justice , they should speak out of a grate , with a lamenting voice like prisoners that desire to be rescu'd . he wishes that the bench may have a natural as well as a legal superiority to the bar ; he thinks mens abilities very much misplac'd , when the reason of him that pleads is visibly too strong for those who judge and give sentence . when those from the bar seem to dictate to their superiours upon the bench , their furrs will look scurvily . about them , and the respect of the world will leave the bare character of a judge , to follow the essential knowledge of a lawyer , who may be greater in himself , than the other can be with all his trappings . an uncontested superiority in any calling , will have the better of any distinct name that authority can put upon it , and therefore if ever such an unnatural method should be introduc'd , it is then that westminster-hall might be said to stand upon its head , and though justice it self can never be so , yet the administration of it would be rendered ridiculous . a judge has such power lodg'd in him , that the king will never be thought to have chosen well , where the voice of mankind has not before-hand recommended the man to his station ; when men are made judges of what they do not understand , the world censures such a choice , not out of ill-will to the men , but fear to themselves . if the king had the sole power of chusing physicians , men would tremble to see bunglers preferred , yet the necessity of taking physick from a doctor , is generally not so great as that of recieving justice from a judge ; and yet the inferences will be very severe in such cases , for either it will be thought that such men bought what they were not able to deserve , or which is as bad , that obedience shall be lookd upon as a better qualification in a judge , than skill or integrity , when such sacred things as the laws are not only touchd , but guided by prophane hands ; men will fear that out of the tree of the law , from whence we expect shade and shelter , such workmen will make cudgels to beat us with , or rather that they will turn the cannon upon our properties , that were intrusted with them for their defence . to see the laws mangled , disguised , speak quite another language than their own , to see them thrown from the dignity of protecting mankind , to the disgraceful office of destroying them ; and , notwithstanding their innocence in themselves , to be made the worst instruments that the most refined villany can make use of , will raise mens anger above the power of laying it down again , and tempt them to follow the evil examples given them of judging without hearing , when so provoked by their desire of revenge . our trimmer therefore , as he thinks the laws are jewels , so he believes they are no better set , than in the constitution of our english government , if rightly understood , and carefully preserved . it would be too great partiality to say they are perfect or liable to no objection ; such things are not of this world ; but if they have more excellencies and fewer faults than any other we know , it is enough to recommend them to our esteem . the dispute , which is a greater beauty , a monarchy or a common-wealth , has lasted long between their contending lovers , and ( they have behav'd themselves so like lovers , who in good manners must be out of their wits , ) who used such figures to exalt their own idols on either side , and such angry aggravations , to reproach one another in the contest , that moderate men have in all times smil'd upon this eagerness , and thought it differ'd very little from a downright frenzy : we in england , by a happy use of the controversie , conclude them both in the wrong , and reject them from being our pattern , not taking the words in the utmost extent , which is a thing , that monarchy , leaves men no liberty , and a common-wealth such a one , as allows them no quiet . we think that a wise mean , between these barbarous extreams , is that which self-preservation ought to dictate to our wishes ; and we may say we have attained to this mean in a greater measure , than any nation now in being , or perhaps any we have read of ; tho never so much celebrated for the wisdom or felicity of their constitutions : we take from one the too great power of doing hurt , and yet leave enough to govern and protect us ; we take from the other , the confusion , the parity , the animosities , and the license , and yet reserve a due care of such a liberty , as may consist with mens allegiance ; but it being hard , if not impossible , to be exactly even , our government has much the stronger biass towards monarchy , which by the general consent and practice of mankind , seems to have the advantage in dispute against a commonwealth : the rules of a commonwealth are too hard for the bulk of mankind to come up to ; that form of government requires such a spirit to carry it on , as dos not dwell in great numbers , but is restrained to so very few , especially in this age , that let the methods appear never so much reasonably in paper , they must fail in practice , which will ever be suited more to mens nature as it is , than as it should be . monarchy is lik'd by the people , for the bells and the tinsel , the outward pomp and gilding , and there must be milk for babes , since the greatest part of mankind are , and ever will be included in that list ; and it is approv'd by wise and thinking men , ( all circumstances and objections impartially considerd ) that it has so great an advantage above all other forms , when the administration of that power falls in good hands ; that all other governments look out of countenance , when they are set in competition with it . lycurgus might have sav'd himself the trouble of making laws , if either he had been immortal , or that he could have secur'd to posterity , a succeeding race of princes like himself ; his own example was a better law , than he could with all his skill tell how to make ; such a prince is a living law , that dictates to his subjects , whose thoughts in that case never rise above their obedience , the confidence they have in the vertue and knowledge of the master , preventing the scruples and apprehensions to which men are naturally inclin'd , in relation to those that govern them ; such a magistrate is the life and soul of justice , whereas the law is but a body and a dead one too , without his influence to give it warmth and vigour , and by the irresistible power of his vertue , he do's so reconcile dominion and allegiance , that all disputes between them are silenced and subdued , and indeed no monarchy can be perfect and absolute without exception , but where the prince is superior by his vertue , as well as by his character and his power ; so that to screw out presidents and unlimited power , is a plain diminution to a prince that nature has made great , and who had better make himself a glorious example to posterity , than borrow an authority from dark records , raised out of the grave , which besides their non-usage , have always in them matter of controversie and debate , and it may be affirmed , that the instances are very rare of princes having the worst in the dispute with their people , if they were eminent for justice in time of peace , or conduct in time of war , such advantage the crown giveth to those who adorn it by their own personal vertues . but since for the greater honour of good and wise princes , and the better to set off their character by the comparison , heaven has decreed there must be a mixture , and that such as are perverse and insufficient , or at least both , are perhaps to have their equal turns in the government of the world , and besides , that the will of man is so various , and so unbounded a thing , and so fatal too when joined with power misapply'd ; it is no wonder if those who are to be govern'd , are unwilling to have so dangerous as well as so uncertain a standard of their obedience . there must be therefore rules and laws : for want of which , or at least the observation of them , it was as capital for a man to say that nero did not play well upon the lute , as to commit treason , or blaspheme the gods. and even vespasian himself had like to have lost his life , for sleeping whilst he should have attended and admir'd that emperours impertinence upon the stage . there is a wantonness in great power that men are generally too apt to be corrupted with , and for that reason , a wise prince , to prevent the temptation arising from common frailty , would choose to govern by rules for his own sake , as well as for his peoples , since it only secures him from errors , and does not lessen the real authority , that a good magistrate would care to be possess'd of ; for if the will of a prince is contrary either to reason it self , or to the universal opinion of his subjects , the law by a kind restraint rescues him from a disease that would undo him ; if his will on the other side is reasonable or well directed , that will immediately becomes a law , and he is arbitrary by an easie and natural consequence , without taking pains , or overturning the world for it . if princes consider laws as things impos'd on them , they have the appearance of fetters of iron , but to such as would make them their choice as well as their practice , they are chains of gold ; and in that respect are ornaments , as in others they are a defence to them , and by a comparison , not improper for god's vicegerents upon earth ; as our maker never commands our obedience to any thing , that as reasonable creatures we ought not to make our own election ; so a good and wise governor , tho' all laws were abolish'd , would by the voluntary direction of his own reason , do without restraint the very same things that they would have enjoyned . our trimmer thinks that the king and kingdom ought to be one creature , not to be separated in their political capacity ; and when either of them undertake to act a-part , it is like the crawling of worms after they are cut in pieces , which cannot be a lasting motion , the whole creature not stirring at a time . if the body has a dead palsie , the head cannot make it move ; and god hath not yet delegated such a healing power to princes , as that they can in a moment say to a languishing people oppress'd and in despair , take up your beds and walk . the figure of a king , is so comprehensive and exalted a thing , that it is a kind of degrading him to lodge that power separately in his own natural person , which can never be safely or naturally great , but where the people are so united to him as to be flesh of his flesh , and bone of his bone ; for when he is reduc'd to the single definition of a man , he sinks into so low a character , that it is a temptation upon mens allegiance , and an impairing that veneration which is necessary to preserve their duty to him ; whereas a prince who is so joined to his people that they seem to be his limbs , rather than his subjects , cloathed with mercy and justice rightly apply'd in their several ●laces , his throne supported by love as ●ell as by power , and the warm wishes ●f his devoted subjects , like never-fail●●g incense , still ascending towards ●im , looks so like the best image we ●●n frame to our selves of god al●ighty , that men would have much ado ●ot to fall down and worship him , and ●ould be much more tempted to the ●in of idolatry , than to that of disobe●ience . our trimmer is of opinion , that ●here must be so much dignity insepa●ably annexed to the royal function , ●s may be sufficient to secure it from in●olence and contempt ; and there must ●e condescensions from the throne , ●●ke kind showers from heaven , that ●he prince may look so much the more ●●ke god almighty's deputy upon earth ; for power without love hath a ●errifying aspect , and the worship which ●s paid to it is like that which the indi●ns give out of fear to wild beasts and devils he that fears god only be●ause there is an hell , must wish there were no god ; and he who fears the king , only because he can punish , must wish there were no king ; so that without a principle of love , there can be no true allegiance , and there must remain perpetual seeds of resistance against a power that is built upon such an unnatural foundation , as that of fear and terrour . all force is a kind of foul play , and whosoever aims at it himself , does by implication allow it to those he plays with ; so that there will be ever matter prepared in the minds of people when they are provoked , and the prince , to secure himself must live in the midst of his own subjects , as if he were in a conquer'd country , raise arms as if he were immediately to meet or resist an invasion , and all this while sleep as unquietly from the fear of the remedies , as he did before from that of the disease ; it being hard for him to forget , that more princes have been destroyed by their guards than by their people ; and that even at the time when the rule was quod principi placuit lex esto : the armies and praetorian bands which were the instruments of that unruly power , were frequently the means made use of to destroy them who had it . there will ever be this difference between god and his vicegerents , that god is still above the instruments he uses , and out of the danger of receiving hurt from them ; but princes can never lodge power in any hands , which may not at some time turn it back upon them ; for tho' it is possible enough for a king to have power to satisfy his ambition ; yet no kingdom has money enough to satisfie the avarice of under-work-men , who learn from that prince who will exact more than belongs to him , to expect from him much more than they deserve , and growing angry upon the first disappointment , they are the devils which grow terrible to the conjurers themselves who brought them up , and can't send them down again ; and besides that , there can be no lasting radical security , but where the governed are satisfied with the governours . it must be a dominion very unpleasant to a prince of an elevated mind , to impose an abject and sordid servility , instead of receiving the willing sacrifice of duty and obedience . the bravest princes in all times , who were uncapable of any other kind of fear , have fear'd to grieve their own people ; such a fear is a glory , and in this sense 't is an infamy not to be a coward : so that the mistaken heroes who are void of this generous kind of fear , need no other aggravation to compleat their ill characters . when a despotick prince has bruised all his subjects with a slavish obedience , all the force he can use cannot subdue his own fears , enemies of his own creation , to which he can never be reconciled , it being impossible to do injustice , and not to fear revenge : there is no cure for this fear , but the not deserving to be hurt , and therefore a prince who does not allow his thoughts to stray beyond the rules of justice , has always the blessing of an inward quiet and assurance , as a natural effect of his good meaning to his people , and tho he will not neglect due precautions to secure himself in all events , yet he is uncapable of entertaining vain and remote suspicions of those , of whom he resolves never to deserve ill . it is very hard for a prince to fear rebellion , who neither does , nor intends to do any thing to provoke it ; therefore too great a diligence in the governours , to raise and improve dangers and fears from the people , is no very good symptom , and naturally begets an inference , that they have thoughts of putting their subjects allegiance to a tryal ; and therefore not without some reason fear before hand , that the irregularities they intend , may raise men to a resistance . our trimmer thinks it no advantage to a government , to endeavour the suppressing all kind of right which may remain in the body of the people , or to employ small authors in it , whose officiousness or want of money may encourage them to write , tho' it is not very easie to have abilities equal to such a subject ; they forget that in their too high strained arguments for the rights of princes , they very often plead against humane nature , which will always give a biass to those reasons which seem of her side ; it is the people that reads those books , and it is the people that must judge of them ; and therefore no maxims should be laid down for the right of government , to which there can be any reasonable objection ; for the world has an interest , and for that reason is more than ordinary discerning to find out the weak sides of such arguments as are intended to do them hurt ; and it is a diminution to a government to promote or countenance such well affected mistakes which are turned upon it with disadvantage , whenever they are detected and exposd ; and naturally the too earnest endeavours to take from men the right they have , tempt them , by the example to claim that which they have not . in power , as in most other things , the way for princes to keep it , is not to grasp more than their arms can well hold ; the nice and unnecessary enquiring into these things , or the licensing some books , and suppressing some others without sufficient reason to justifie the doing-either , is so far from being an advantage to a government , that it exposes it to the censure of being partial and to the suspicion , of having some hidden designs to be carried on by these unusual methods . when all is said , there is a natural reason of state , and undefinable thing , grounded upon the common good of mankind , which is immortal , and in all changes and revolutions , still preserves its original right of saving a nation , when the letter of the law perhaps would destroy it ; and by whatsoever means it moves , carrieth a power with it , that admits of no opposition , being supported by nature , which inspires an immediate consent at some critical times into every individual member , to that which visibly tendeth to preservation of the whole ; and this being so , a wise prince instead of controverting the right of this reason of state , will by all means endeavour it may be of his side , and then he will be secure . our trimmer cannot conceive that the power of any prince can be lasting , but where 't is built upon the foundation of his own unborrowed vertue , he must not only be the first mover and the fountain , from whence the great acts of state originally flow , but he must be thought so to his people that they may preserve their veneration for him ; he must be jealous of his power , and not impart so much of it to any about him , as that he may suffer an eclipse by it . he cannot take too much care to keep himself up , for when a prince is thought to be led by those , with whom he should onely advise , and that the commands he gives are transmitted through him , and are not of his own growth ; the world will look upon him as a bird adorned with feathers that are not his own , or consider him rather as an engine than a living creature ; besides , 't would be a contradiction for a prince to fear a common-wealth , and at the same time create one himself , be delegating such a power to any number of men near him , as is inconsistant with the figure of a monarch : it is the worst kind of co-ordination the crown can submit to ; for it is the exercise of power that draws the respect along with it , and when that is parted with , the bare character of a king is not sufficient to keep it up ; but tho' it is a diminution to a prince , to parcel out so liberally his power amongst his favourites , it 's worse to divide with any other man , and to bring himself in competition with a single rival ; a partner in government is so unnatural a thing , that it is a squint-ey'd allegiance that must be paid to such a double bottomd monarchy . the two czars of muscovy are an example that the more civiliz'd part of the world will not be proud to follow , whatsoever gloss may be put upon this method , by those to whom it may be of some use , the prince will do well to remember , and reflectupon the story of certain men who had set up a statue in honour of the sun , yet in a very litle time they turned their backs to the sun , and their faces to the statue . these mystical unions are better plac'd in the other world , than they are in this , and we shall have much ado to find , that in a monarchy gods vicegerency is delegated to more heads than that which is annointed . princes may lend some of their light to make another shine , but they must still preserve the superiority of being the brighter planet , and when it happens that the reversion is in mens eyes , there is more care necessary to keep up the dignity of possessions , that men may not forget who is king , either out of their hopes or fears who shall be . if the sun shou'd part with all his light to any of the stars , the indians would not know where to find their god , after he had so deposed himself , and would make the light ( wherever it went ) the object of their worship . all usurpation is alike upon soveraignty , it s no matter from what hand it coms ; and crowned heads are to be the more circumspect , in resspect mens thoughts are naturally apt to ramble beyond what is present , they love to work at a distance , and in their greedy expectations ; which their minds may be fill'd with of a new master , the old one may be left to look a little out of countenance . our trimmer owns a passion for liberty , yet so restrained , that it does not in the least impair or taint his allegiance , he thinks it hard for a soul that does not love liberty , ever to raise it self to another world he takes it to be the foundation of all vertue , and the only seasoning that gives a relish to life , and tho' the laziness of a slavish subjection , has its charms for the more gross and earthly part of mankind , yet to men made of a better sort of clay , all that the world can give without liberty has no taste ; it is true , nothing is sold so cheap by unthinking men , but that does no more lessen the real value of it , than a country fellows ignorance does that of a diamond , in selling it for a pot of ale. liberty is the mistress of mankind , she has powerful charms which do so dazzle us , that we find beauties in her which perhaps are not there , as we do in other mistresses ; yet if she was not a beauty , the world would not run mad for her ; therefore since the reasonable desire of of it ought not to be restrain'd , and that even the unreasonable desire of it cannot be intirely suppress'd , those who would take it away from a people possessed of it , are likely to fail in the attempting , or be very unquiet in the keeping of it . our trimmer admires our blessed constitutions , in which dominion and liberty are so well reconciled ; it gives to the prince the glorious power of commanding free-men , and to the subject , the satifaction of seeing the power so lodged , as that their liberties are secure ; it dos not allow the crown such a ruining power , as that no grass can grow where e're it treads , but a cherishing and protecting power ; such a one as hath a grim aspect only to the offending subjects , but is the joy and the pride of all the good ones ; their own interest being so bound up in it , as to engage them to defend and support it ; and tho in some instances the king is restrain'd yet nothing in the government can move without him ; our laws make a distinction between vassalage and obedience ; between devouring prerogatives , and a licentious ungovernable freedom : and as of all the orders of building , the composite is the best , so ours by a happy mixture and a wise choice of what is best in others , is brought into a form that is our felicity who live under it , and the envy of our neighbour that cannot imitate it . the crown has power sufficient to protect our liberties . the people have so much liberty as is necessary to make them useful to the crown . our government is in a just proportion , no tympany , no unnatural swelling either of power or liberty ; and whereas in all overgrown monarchies , reason , learning , and enquiry are hang'd in effigy for mutineers ; here they are encouraged and cherished as the surest friends to a government establish'd upon the foundation of law and justice when all is done , those who look for perfection in this world , may look as the jews have for their messias , and therefore our trimmer is not so unreasonably partial as to free our governments ; and from all objections , no doubt there have been fatal instances of its sickness , and more than that , of its mortality , for sometime , tho' by a miracle , it hath been revivd again : but till we have another race of mankind , in all constitutions that are bounded , there will ever be some matter of strife , and contention , and rather than want pretensions , mens passions and interests will raise them from the most inconsiderable causes . our government is like our climate , there are winds which are sometimes loud and unquiet , and yet with all the trouble they give us , we owe great part of our health unto them , they clear the air , which else would be like a standing pool , and instead of refreshment would be a disease unto us . there may be fresh gales of asserting liberty , without turning into such storms of hurricane , as that the state should run any hazard of being cast away by them ; these struglings which are natural to all mixed governments , while they are kept from growing in convulsions , do by a mutual agitation from the several parts , rather support and strengthen , than weaken or maim the constitution ; and the whole frame , instead of being torn or disjointed , comes to be the better and closer knit by being thus exercised ; but what ever faults our government may have , or a discerning critick may find in it , when he looks upon it alone ; let any other be set against it , and then it shews its comparative beauty ; let us look upon the most glittering outside of unbounded anthority , and upon a nearer enquiry , we shall find nothing but poor and miserable deformity within ; let us imagine a prince living in his kingdom , as if in a great gally , his subjects tugging at the oar , laden with chains , and reduced to real rags , that they may gain him imaginary lawrels ; let us represent him gazing among his flatterers , and receiving their false worship , like a child never contradicted , and therefore always cozen'd : or like a lady complemented only to be abused , condemned never to hear truth , and consequently never to do justice , wallowing in the soft bed of wanton and unbridled greatness , not less odious to the instruments themselves , than to the objects of his tyranny ; blown up into an ambitious dropsy , never to be satisfied by the conquest of other people , or by the oppression of his own ; by aiming to be more than a man , he falls lower than the meanest of 'em , a mistaken creature , swelled with panegyricks , & flattered out of his senses , and not only an incumbrance , but a nuisance to mankind , a hardened and unrelenting soul , and like some creatures that grow fat with poisons , he grows great by other mens miseries ; an ambitious ape of the divine greatness , an unruly gyant that would storm even heaven it self , but that his scaling ladders are not long enough ; in short , a wild and devouring creature in rich trappings , and with all his pride no more than a whip in god almighty's hand , to be thrown into the fire when the world has been sufficiently scourged with it : this picture laid in right colours would not incite men to wish for such a government , but rather to acknowledge the happiness of our own , under which we enjoy all the priviledge reasonable men can desire , and avoid all the miserie 's many others are subject too ; so that out trimmer would keep it with all its faults , and does as little forgive those who give the occasion of breaking it , as he does those that take it . our trimmer is a friend to parliaments , notwithstanding all their faults , and excesses , which of late have given such matter of objection to them ; he thinks that tho' they may at sometimes be troublesome to authority , yet they add the greatest strength to it under a wise administration ; he believes no government is perfect except a kind of omnipotence reside in it , to exercised upon great occasions : now this cannot be obtained by force alone upon people , let it be never so great , there must be their consent too , or else a nation moves only by being driven , a sluggish & constrained motion , void of that life and vigour which is necessary to produce great things , whereas the virtual consent of the whole being included in their representatives , and the king giving the sanction to the united sense of the people , every act done by such an authority , seems to be an effect of their choice as well as a part of their duty ; and they do with an eagerness , of which men are uncapable whilst under a force , execute whatsoever is so enjoyned as their own wills , better explained by parliament , rather than from the terrour of ic●urring the penalty of the law for omiting it , and by means of this political omnipotence , what ever sap or juice there is in a nation , may be to the last drop be produc'd , whilst it rises naturally from the root ; whereas all power exercis'd without consent , is like the giving wounds and gashes , and tapping a tree at unseasonable times , for the present occasion , which in a very little time must needs destroy it . our trimmer believes , that by the advantage of our scituation , there can hardly any such sudden disease come upon us , but that the king may have time enough left to consult with his physitians in parliament ; pretences indeed may be made , but a real necessity so pressing , that no delay is to be admitted , is hardly to be imagin'd , and it will be neither easie to give an instance of any such thing for the time past , or reasonable to presume it will ever happen for the time to come : but if that strange thing should fall out , our trimmer is not so strait-lac'd , as to let a nation dye , or to be stifled , rather than it should be help'd by any but the proper officers . the cases themselves will bring the remedies along with them ; and he is not afraid to allow that in order to its preservation , there is a hidden power in government , which would be lost if it was designed , a certain mystery , by virtue of which a nation may at some critical times be secur'd from ruine , but then it must be kept as a mystery ; it is rendered useless when touch'd by unskilful hands ; and no government ever had , or deserv'd to have that power , which was so unwary as to anticipate their claim to it : our trimmer cannot help thinking it had been better , if the triennial act had been observ'd ; because 't is the law , and he would not have the crown , by such an example , teach the nation to break it ; all irregularity is catching , it has a contagion in it , especially in an age , so much enclin'd to follow ill patterns than good ones . he would have a parliament , because 't is an essential part of the constitution , even without the law , it being the only provision in extraordinary cases , in which there would be otherwise no remedy , and there can be no greater solecism in government , than a failure of justice . he would have had one , because nothing else can unite and heal us , all other means are meer shifts and projects , houses of cards , to be blown down with the least breath , and cannot resist the difficulties which are ever presum'd in things of this kind ; and he would have had one , because it might have done the king good , and could not possibly have done him hurt , without his consent , which in that case is not to be supposed , and therefore for him to fear it , is so strange and so little to be comprehended , that the reasons can never be presum'd to grow in our soyl , or to thrive in it when transplanted from any other country ; and no doubt there are such irresistable arguments for calling a parliament , and tho it might be deny'd to the unmannerly mutinous petitions of men , that are malicious and disaffected , it will be granted to the soft and obsequious murmurs of his majestys best subjects , and there will be such rhetorick in their silent grief , that it will at last prevail against the artifices of those , who either out of guilt or interest , are afraid to throw themselves upon their country , knowing how scurvily they have used it ; that day of judgment will come , tho we know neither the day nor the hour . and our trimmer would live so as to be prepared for it , with full assurance in the mean time , that the lamenting voice of a nation cannot long be resisted , and that a prince who could so easily forgive his people when they had been in the wrong , cannot fail to hear them when they are in the right . the trimmer's opinion concerning the protestant religion . religion has such a superiority above other things , and that indispensable influence upon all mankind , that it is as necessary to our living happy in this world , as it is to our being sav'd in the next , without it man is an abandon'd creature , one of the worst beasts nature hath produc'd , and fit only for the society of wolves and bears ; therefore in all ages it has been the foundation of government : and tho false gods have been impos'd upon the credulous part of the world , yet they were gods still in their opinion , and the awe and reverence men had to them and their oracles , kept them within bounds towards one another , which the laws with all their authority could never have effected without the help of religion ; the laws would not be able to subdue the perverseness of mens wills , which are wild beasts , and require a double chain to keep them down ; for this reason 't is said , that it is not a sufficient ground to make war upon a neighbouring state , because they are of another religion , let it be never so differing ; yet if they worship'd nor acknowledg'd any deity at all , they may be invaded as publick enemies of mankind , because they reject the only thing that can bind them to live well with one another ; the consideration of religion is so twisted with that of government , that it is never to be separated , and tho the foundations of it ought to be eternal and unchangeable , yet the terms and circumstances of discipline , are to be suited to the several climates and constitutions , so that they may keep men in a willing acquiescence unto them , without discomposing the world by nice disputes , which can never be of equal moment with the publick peace . our religion here in england seems to be distinguished by a peculiar effect of god almighty's goodness , in permiting it to be introduc'd , or rather restored , by a more regular method than the circumstances of most other reformed churches would allow them to do , in relation to the government ; and the dignity with which it has supported it self since , and the great men our church hath produced , ought to recommend it to the esteem of all protestants at least : our trimmer is very partial to it , for these reasons , and many more , and desires that it may preserve its due jurisdiction and authority ? so far he is from wishing it oppressed by the unreasonable and malicious cavils of those who take pains to raise objections against it . the questions will then be , how and by what methods this church shall best support it self ( the present circumstances consider'd ) in relation to dissenters of all sorts : i will first lay this for a ground , that as there can be no true religion without charity , so there can be no true humane prudence without bearing and condescension : this principle does not extend to oblige the church always to yield to those who are disposed to contest with her , the expediency of doing it is to be considered and determined according to the occasion , and this leads me to lay open the thoughts of our trimmer , in reference , first , to the protestants , and then to the popish recusants . what has lately hapned among us , makes an apology necessary for saying any thing that looks like favour towards a sort of men who has brought themselves under such a disadvantage . the late conspiracy hath such broad symptoms of the disaffection of the whole party , that upon the first reflections , while our thoughts are warm , it would almost perswade us to put them out of the protection of our good nature , and to think that the christian indulgence with our compassion for other mens sufferings cannot easily deny , seems not only to be forfeited by the ill appearances that are against them , but even becomes a crime when it is so misapplied ; yet for all this , upon second and cooler thoughts , moderate men will not be so ready to involve a whole party in the guilt of a few , and to admit inferences and presumptions to be evidence in a case , where the sentence must be so heavy , as it ought to be against all those who have a fixed resolution against the goverement established ? besides , men who act by a principle grounded upon moral vertue , can never let it be clearly extinguished by the most repeated provocations ; if a right thing agreeable to nature and good sence taks root in the heart of a man , that is impartial and unbyass'd , no outward circumstances can ever destroy it ; its true , the degrees of a mans zeal for the prosecution of it may be differing , faults of other men , the consideration of the publick , and the seasonable prudence by which wise men will ever be directed , may give great allays ; they may lessen and for a time perhaps suppress the exercise of that , which in general proposition may be reasonable , but still whatever is so will inevitably grow and spring up again , having a foundation in nature , which is never to be destroy'd . our trimmer therefore endeavours to separate the detestation of those who had either a hand or a thought in the late plot , from the principle of prudential as well as christian charity towards mankind , and for that reason would fain use the means of reclaiming such of the dissenters as are not incurable , and even bearing to a degree those that are , as far as may consist with the publick interest and security ; he is far from justifying an affected separation from the communion of the church , and even in those that mean well , and are mistaken ; he looks upon it as a disease that has seized upon their minds , very troublesome as well as dangerous , by the consequence it may produce : he does not go about to excuse their making it an indispensable duty , to meet in numbers to say their prayers , such meetings may prove mischievous to the state at least ; the laws which are the best judges , have determined that there is danger in them : he has good nature enough to lament that the perversness of a part should have drawn rigorous laws upon the whole body of the dissenters , but when they are once made , no private opinion must stand in opposition to them ; if they are in themselves reasonable , they are in that respect to be regarded , even without being enjoyned , if by the change of time and circumstances they should become less reasonable than when they were first made , even then they are to be obey'd too , because they are laws , till they are mended or repealed by the same authority that enacted them . he has too much deference to the constitution of our government , to wish for more prerogative declarations in favour of scrupulous men , or to dispence with penal laws in such manner , or to such an end , that suspecting men might with some reason pretend , that so hated a thing as persecution could never make way for it self with any hopes of success , otherwise than by preparing the deluded world by a false prospect of liberty and indulgence . the inward springs and wheels whereby the engine moved , are now so fully laid open and expos'd , that it is not supposable that such a baffled experiment should ever be tryed again , the effect it had at the time , and the spirit it raised , will not easily be forgotten , and it may be presum'd the remembrance of it may secure us from any more attempts of that nature for the future ; we must no more break a law to give men ease , than we are to rifle an house with a devout intention of giving the plunder to the poor ; in this case , our compassion would be as ill directed , as our charity in the other . in short , the veneration due to the laws is never to be thrown off , let the pretences be never so specious ; yet with all this he cannot bring himself to think , that an extraordinary diligence to take the uttermost penalty of laws , upon the poor offending neighbour , is of it self such an all-sufficient vertue , that without any thing else to recommend men , it should entitle them to all kind of preferments and rewards ; he would not detract from the merits of those who execute the laws , yet he cannot think such a piece of service as this , can entirely change the man , and either make him a better divine , or a more knowing magistrate than he was before , especially if it be done with a partial and unequal hand , in reverence to greater and more dangerous offenders . our trimmer would have those mistaken men ready to throw themselves into the arms of the church , and he would have those arms as ready to receive them that shall come to us ; he would have no supercilious look to fright those strayed sheep from coming into the fold again ; no ill-natur'd maxims of an eternal suspicion , or a belief that those who have once been in the wrong can never be in the right again ; but a visible preparation of mind to recieve with joy all the proselites that come amongst us , and much greater earnestness to reclaim than punish them : it is to be confess'd , there is a great deal to forgive , a hard task enough for the charity of a church so provoked ; but that must not cut off all hopes of being reconciled , yet if there must be some anger left still , let it break out into a christian revenge , and by being kinder to the children of disobedience than they deserve , let the injur'd church triumph , by throwing shame and confusion of face upon them ; there should not always be storms and thunder , a clear sky would sometime make the church look more like heaven , and would do more towards the reclaiming those wanderers , than a perpetual terrour , which seemed to have no intermission ; for there is in many , and particularly in english men , a mistaken pleasure , in resisting the dictates of rigorous authority ; a stomach that riseth against a hard imposition , nay , in some , raise even a lust in suffering from a wrong point of honour , which does not want the applause , from the greater part of mankind , who have not learnt to distinguish ; constancy will be thought a virtue even where it is a mistake ; and the ill judging world will be apt to think that opinion most right , which produces the greatest number of those who are willing to suffer for it ; all this is prevented , and falls to the ground , by using well-timed indulgence ; and the stubborn adversary who values himself upon his resistance whilst he is oppress'd , yields insensibly to kind methods , when they are apply'd to him , and the same man naturally melts into conformity , who perhaps would never have been beaten into it . we may be taught by the compassion that attendeth the most criminal men when they are condemned , that faults are much more natural things than punishments , and that even the most necessary acts of severity do some kind of violence to our nature , whose indulgence will not be confined within the strait bounds of inexorable justice ; so that this should be an argument for gentleness , besides that it is the likeliest way to make these men asham'd of their separation , whilst the pressing them too hard , tends rather to make them proud of it . our trimmer would have the clergy supported in their lawful rights , and in all the power and dignity that belongs to them , and yet he thinks that possibly there may be in some of them a too great eagerness to extend the ecclesiastical jurisdiction ; which tho it may be well intended , yet the straining of it too high has an appearance of ambition that raises mens objections to it , and is far unlike the apostolick zeal , which was quite otherwise employ'd , that the world draws inferences from it , which do the church no service . he is troubled to see men of all sides sick of a calenture of a mistaken devotion , and it seems to him that the devout fire of mistaken charity with which the primitive christians were inflam'd , is long since extinguish'd , and instead of it a devouring fire of anger and persecution breaks out in the world ; we wrangle now one with another about religion till the blood comes , whilst the ten commandments have no more authority with us , than if they were so many obsolete laws or proclamations out of date ; he thinks that a nation will hardly be mended by principles of religion , where morality is made a heresy ; and therefore as he believes devotion misplaced when it gets into a conventicle , he concludes that loyalty is so too , when lodg'd in a drunken club ; those vertues deserve a better seat of empire , and they are degraded , when such men undertake their defence , as have too great need of an apology themselves . our trimmer wishes that some knowledge may go along with the zeal on the right side , and that those who are in possession of the pulpit , would quote at least so often the authority of the scriptures as they do that of the state ; there are many who borrow too often arguments from the government , to use against their adversaries , and neglect those that are more proper , and would be more powerful ; a divine grows less , and puts a diminution on his own character , when he quoteth any law but that of god almighty , to get the better of those who contest with him ; and it is a sign of a decay'd constitution , when nature with good diet cannot expel noxious humours without calling foreign drugs to her assistance ; so it looks like want of health in a church , when instead of depending upon the power of that truth which it holds , and the good examples of them that teach it , to support it self , and to suppress errors , it should have a perpetual recourse to the secular authority , and even upon the slightest occasions . our trimmer has his objections to the too busy diligence , and to the over-doing of some of the dissenting clergy , and he does as little approve of those of our church , who wear god almighty's liveries , as some old warders in the tower do the king 's , who do nothing in their place but receive their wages for it ; he thinks that the liberty of the late times gave men so much light , and diffused it so universally amongst the people , that they are not now to be dealt with , as they might have been in ages of less enquiry ; and therefore in some well chosen and dearly beloved auditories , good resolute nonsense back'd with authority may prevail , yet generally men are become so good judges of what they hear , that the clergy ought to be very wary how they go about to impose upon their understandings , which are grown less humble than they were in former times , when the men in black had made learning such a sin in the laity , that for fear of offending , they made a conscience of being able to read ; but now the world is grown sawcy , and expects reasons , and good ones too , before they give up their own opinions to other mens dictates , tho never so magisterially deliver'd to them . our trimmer is far from approving the hypocricie which seems to be the reigning vice amongst some of the dissenting clergy , he thinks it the most provoking sin men can be guilty of , in relation to heaven , and yet ( which may seem strange ) that very sin which shall destroy the soul of the man who preaches , may help to save those of the company that hear him , and even those who are cheated by the false ostentation of his strictness of life , may by that pattern be encouraged to the real practice of those christian vertues which he does so deceitfully profess ; so that the detestation of this fault may possibly be carry'd on too far by our own orthodox divines , if they think it cannot be enough express'd without bending the stick another way ; a dangerous method , and a worse extream for men of that character , who by going to the outmost line of christian liberty , will certainly encourage others to go beyond it : no man does less approve the ill-bred methods of some of the dissenters , in rebuking authority , who behave themselves as if they thought ill manners necessary to salvation ; yet he cannot but distinguish and desire a mean between the sawcyness of some of the scotch apostles , and the undecent courtship of some of the silken divines , who , one would think , do practice to bow at the altar , only to learn to make the better legs at court. our trimmer approves the principles of our church , that dominion is not founded in grace , and that our obedience is to be given to a popish king in other things , at the same time that our compliance with him in his religion is to be deny'd ; yet he cannot but think it a very extraordinary thing if a protestant church should by a voluntary election , chuse a papist for their guardian , and receive directions for supporting their religion , from one who must believe it a mortal sin not to endeavour to destroy it ; such a refined piece of breeding would not seem to be very well plac'd in the clergy , who will hardly find presidents to justify ; such an extravagant piece of courtship , and which is so unlike the primitive methods , which ought to be our pattern ; he hath no such unreasonable tenderness for any sorts of men , as to expect their faults should not be impartially laid open as often as they give occasion for it ; and yet he cannot but smile to see that the same man , who sets up all the sails of his rhetorick , to fall upon dissenters ; when popery is to be handled , he does it so gingerly , that he looketh like an ass mumbling of thistles , so afraid he is of letting himself loose where he may be in danger of etting his duty get the better of his discretion . our trimmer is far from relishing the impertinent wandrings of those who pour out long prayers upon the congregation , and all from their own stock , which god knows , for the most part is a barren soil , which produces weeds instead of flowers , and by this means they expose religion it self , rather than promote mens devotions : on the other side , there may be too great restraint put upon men , whom god and nature hath distinguished from their fellow labourers , by blessing them with a happier talent , and by giving them not only good sense , but a powerful utterance too , has enabled them to gush out upon the attentive auditory , with a mighty stream of devout and unaffected eloquence ; when a man so qualified , endued with learning too , and above all , adorn'd with a good life , breaks out into a warm and well deliver'd prayer before his sermon , it has the appearance of a divine rapture , he raises and leads the hearts of the assembly in another manner , than the most compos'd or best studied form of set words can ever do ; and the pray-wees , who serve up all their sermons with the same garnishing , would , look like so many statues , or men of straw in the pulpit , compar'd with those who speak with such a powerful zeal , that men are tempted at the moment to belive heaven it self has dictated their words to em . our trimmer is not so unreasonably indulgent to the dissenters , as to excuse the irregularities of their complaints , and to approve their threatning stiles , which are so ill-suited to their circumstances as well as their duty ; he would have them to shew their grief , and not their anger to the government , and by such a submission to authority , as becomes them , if they cannot acquiesce in what is imposed ; let them deserve a legislative remedy to their sufferings , there being no other way to give them perfect redress ; and either to seek it , or pretend to give it by any other method , would not only be vain , but criminal too in those that go about it ; yet with all this , there may in the mean time be a prudential latitude left , as to the manner of preventing the laws now in force against them : the government is in some degree answerable for such an administration of them , as may be free from the censure of impartial judges ; and in order to that , it would be necessary that one of these methods be pursued , either to let loose the laws to their utmost extent , without any moderation or restraint , in which at least the equality of the government would be without objection , the penalties being exacted without remission from the dissenters of all kinds ; or if that will not be done ( and indeed there is no reason it should ) there is a necessity of some connivance to the protestant dissenters to execute that which in humanity must be allowed to the papists , even without any leaning towards them , which must be supposed in those who are or shall be in the administration of publick business ; and it will follow that , according to our circumstances , the distribution of such connivance must be made in such a manner , that the greatest part of it may fall on the protestant side , or else the objections will be so strong , and the inferences so clear , that the friends , as well as the enemies of the crown , will be sure to take hold of them . it will not be sufficient to say that the papists may be conniv'd at , because they are good subiects and that the protestant dissenters , must suffer because they are ill ones ; these general maxims will not convince discerning men , neither will any late instances make them forget what passed at other times in the world ; both sides have had their turns in being good and ill subjects . and therefore 't is easie to imagine what suspicions would arise in the present conjuncture , if such a partial argument as this should be impos'd upon us ; the truth is , this matter speaks so much of it self ; that it is not only unnecessary , but it may be unmannerly to say any more of it . our trimmer therefore could wish , that since notwithstanding the laws which deny churches to say mass in ; even not only the exercise , but also the ostentation of popery is as well or better performed in the chappels of so many foreign ministers , where the english openly resort in spight of proclamations and orders of council , which are grown to be as harmless things to them , as the popes bulls and excommunications are to hereticks who are out of his reach ; i say he could wish that by a seasonable as well as an equal piece of justice , there might be so much consideration had of the protestant dissenters , as that there might be at sometimes , and at some places , a veil thrown over an innocent and retired conventicle , and that such an indulgence might be practic'd with less prejudice to the church , or diminution to the laws ; it might be done so as to look rather like a kind omission to enquire more strictly , than an allow'd toleration of that which is against the rule established . such a skilful hand as this is very necessary in our circumstances , and the government by making no sort of men entirely desperate , does not only secure it self from villainous attempts , but lays such a foundation for healing and uniting laws , when ever a parliament shall meet , that the seeds of differences and animosities between the several contending sides may ( heaven consenting ) be for ever destroy'd . the trimmer's opinion concerning the papists . to speak of popery leads me into such a sea of matter , that it is not easie to forbear launching into it , being invited by such a fruitful theme , and by a variety never to be exhausted ; but to confine it to the present subject , i will only say a short word of the religion it self ; of its influences here at this time ; and of our trimmer's opinion in relation to our manner of living with them . if a man would speak maliciously of this religion , one may say it is like those diseases , where as long as one drop of the infection remains , there is still danger of having the whole mass of blood corrupted by it . in swedeland there was an absolute cure , and nothing of popery heard of , till queen christiana , ( whether mov'd by arguments of this or the other world , may not be good manners to enquire ) thought fit to change her religion and country , and to live at rome , where she might find better judges of her virtues , and less ungentle censures of those princely liberties , to which she was sometimes disposed , than she left at stockholme ; where the good breeding is as much inferior to that of rome in general , as the civility of the religion . the cardinals having rescued the church from those clownish methods the fishermen had first introduc'd , and mended that pattern so effectually , that a man of that age , if he should now come into the world , would not possibly know it . in denmark the reformation was entire , in some states of germany , as well as geneva , the cure was universal ; but in the rest of the world where the protestant religion took place , the popish humour was too tough to be totally expell'd , and so it was in england , tho' the change was made with all the advantage imaginable to the reformation , it being countenanc'd and introduc'd by legal authority , and by that means might have been perhaps as perfect as in any other place , if the short reign of edward the 6th , and the succession of a popish queen had not given such advantage to that religion , that it has subsisted ever since under all the hardships that have been put upon it ; it has been a strong compact body , and made the more so by these sufferings ; it was not strong enough to prevail , but it was able , with the help of foreign support , to carry on an interest which gave the crown trouble , and to make a considerable ( not to say dangerous ) figure in the nation ; so much as this could not have been done without some hopes , nor these hopes kept up without some reasonable grounds : in queen elizabeth's time , the spanish zeal for their religion , and the revenge for 88 , gave warmth to the papists here , and above all the right of the queen of scots to suceeed , was while she lived sufficient to give them a better prospect of their affairs : in king james's time their hopes were supported by the treaty of the spanish match , and his gentleness towards them , which they were ready to interpret more in their own favour , than was either reasonable or became them , so little tenderness they have , even where it is most due , if the interest of their religion comes in competition with it . as for the late king , tho he gave the most glorious evidence that ever man did of his being a protestant , yet , by the more than ordinary influence the queen was thought to have over him , and it so happening that the greatest part of his anger was directed against the puritans , there was such an advantage to men dispos'd to suspect , that they were ready to interpret it a leaning towards popery , without which handle it was morally impossible , that the ill-affected part of the nation could ever have seduc'd the rest into a rebellion . that which help'd to confirm many well meaning men in their misapprehensions of the king , was the long and unusual intermission of parliaments ; so that every year that passad without one , made up a new argument to increase their suspicion , and made them presume that the papists had a principal hand in keeping them off : this raised such heats in mens minds , to think that men who were obnoxious to the laws , instead of being punished , should have credit enough to serve themselves , even at the price of destroying the fundamental constitution ; that it broke but into a flame , which , before it could be quenched , had almost reduc'd the nation ro ashes . amongst the miserable effects of that unnatural war , none hath been more fatal to us , than the forcing our princes to breathe in another air , and to receive the early impressions of a foreign education ; the barbari●y of the english , towards the king and the royal family , might very well tempt him to think the better of every thing he found abroad , and might naturally produce more gentleness , at least , towards a religion by which he was hospitably received , at the same time that he was thrown off and persecuted by the protestants , tho his own subjects ) to aggravate the offence . the queen mother , ( as generally ladies do with age ) grew most devout and earnest in her religion ; and besides , the temporal rewards of getting larger subsidies from the french clergy , she had motives of another kind , to perswade her to shew her zeal ; and since by the roman dispensatory , a soul converted to the church is a soveraign remedy , and lays up a mighty stock of merit ; she was solicitous to secure her self in all events , and therefore first set upon the duke of glocester , who depended so much upon her good will , that she might for that reason have been induc'd to believe , the conquest would not be difficult ; but it so fell out , that he either from his own constancy , or that he had those near him by whom he was otherways advis'd , chose rather to run away from her importunity , than by staying to bear the continual weight of it : it is belie v'd she had better success with another of her sons , who , if he was not quite brought off from our religion , at least such beginnings were made , as made them very easie to be finish'd ; his being of a generous and aspiring nature , and in that respect , less patient in the drudgery of arguing , might probably help to recommend a church to him , that exempts the laity from the vexation of enquiring ; perhaps he might ( tho by mistake ) look upon that religion as more favourable to the enlarged power of kings , a consideration which might have its weight with a young prince in his warm blood , and that was brought up in arms. i cannot hinder my self from a small digression , to consider with admiration , that the old lady of rome , with all her wrinkles , should yet have charms , able to subdue great princes ; so far from handsom , and yet so imperious ; so painted , and yet so pretending ; after having abus'd , depos'd , and murther'd so many of her lovers , she still finds others glad and proud of their new chains ; a thing so strange , to indifferent judges , that those who will allow no other miracles in the church of rome , must needs grant that this is one not to be contested ; she sits in her shop , and sells at dear rates her rattles and her hobby-horses , whilst the deluded world still continues to furnish her with customers . but whither am i carried with this contemplation ? it is high time to return to my text , and to consider the wonderful manner of the kings coming home again , led by the hand of heaven , and called by the voice of his own people , who receiv'd him , if possible , with joys equal to the blessing of peace and union which his restauration brought along with it ; by this there was an end put to the hopes some might have abroad , of making use of his less happy circumstances , to throw him into foreign interests and opinions , which had been wholly inconsistent with our religion , our laws , and all other things that are dear to us ; yet for all this , some of those tinctures and impressions might so far remain , as tho' they were very innocent in him , yet they might have ill effects here , by softning the animosity which seems necessary to the defender of the protestant faith , in opposition to such a powerful and irreconcileable an enemy . you may be sure , that among all the sorts of men who apply'd themselves to the king at his first coming home , for his protection , the papists were not the last , nor , as they fain would have flatter'd themselves , the least welcome ; having their past sufferings , as well as their present professions to recommend them ; and there was something that look'd like a particular consideration of them , since it so happened , that the indulgence promised to dissenters at breda , was carried on in such a manner , that the papists were to divide with them , and tho' the parliament , notwithstanding its resignation to the crown in all things , rejected with scorn and anger a declaration fram'd for this purpose , yet the birth and steps of it gave such an alarm , that mens suspicious once raised , were not easily laid asleep again . to omit other things , the breach of the tripple league , and the dutch war with its appurtenances , carried jealousies to the highest pitch imaginable , and fed the hopes of one party , and the fears of the other to such a degree , that some critical revolutions were generally expectad , when the ill success of that war , and the sacrifice france thought fit to make of the papists here , to their own interest abroad , gave them another check ; and the act of enjoyning the test to all in offices , was thought to be no ill bargain to the nation , tho' bought at the price of 1200000 pound , and the money apply'd to continue the war against the dutch , than which nothing could be more unpopular or less approved . notwithstanding the discouragements , popery is a plant that may be mowed down , but the root will still remain , and in spite of the laws , it will sprout up & grow again ; especially if it should happen that there should be men in power , who in weeding it out of our garden , will take care to cherish and keep it alive ; and tho' the law for excluding them from places of trust was tolerably kept as to their outward form , yet there were many circumstances , which being improved by the quick-sighted malice of ill affected men , did help to keep up the world in their suspicions , and to blow up jealousies to such a heighth both in and out of parliament , that the remembrance of them is very unpleasant , and the example so extravagant , that it is to be hop'd nothing in our age like it will be re-attempted ; but to come closer to the case in question , in this condition we stand with the papists , what shall now be done according to our trimmer's opinion , in order to the better bearing this grievance , since as i have said before , there is no hopes of being entirely free from it ; papists we must have among us , and if their religion keep them from bringing honey to the hive , let the government try at least by gentle means to take away the sting from them . the first foundation to be laid is , that a distinct consideration is to be had of the popish clergy , who have such an eternal interest against all accommodation , that it is a hopeless thing to propose any thing to them less than all ; their stomachs have been set for it ever since the reformation , they have pinned themselves to a principle that admits no mean : they believe protestants will be damn'd , and therefore by an extraordinary effect of christian charity , they would destroy one half of england that the other might be saved ; then for this world , they must be in possession for god almighty , to receive his rents for him , not to accompt till the day of judgment , which is a good kind of tenure , and ye cannot well blame the good men , that will stir up the laity to run any hazard in order to the getting them restor'd . what is it to the priest , if the deluded zealot undoes himself in the attempt ? he sings masses as jollily , and with as good a voice at rome or st. omers as ever he did ; is a single man , and can have no wants but such as may be easily supplyd , yet that he may not seem altogether insensible , or ungrateful to those that are his martyrs , he is ready to assure their executors , and if they please , will procure a grant sub annulo piscatoris , that the good man by being changed , has got a good bargain , and sav'd the singing of some hundred of years , which he would else have had in purgatory . there 's no cure for this order of men , no expedient to be propos'd , so that tho the utmost severity of the laws against them , may in some sort be mittigated , yet no treaty can be made with men who in this case have left themselves no free will , but are so muffled by zeal , tyed by vows , and kept up by such unchangeable maxims of the priesthood , that they are to be left as desperate patients , and look'd upon as men that will continue in an eternal state of hostility , till the nation is entirely subdued to them . it is then only the lay papists that are capable of being treated with , and we are to examine of what temper they are , and what arguments are the most likely to prevail upon them , and how far 't is adviseable for the government to be indulgent to them ; the lay papists generally keep their religion , rather because they will not break company with those of their party , than out of any settled zeal that hath root in them ; most of them do by the mediation of the priests marry amongst one another , to keep up an ignorant position by hearing only one side ; others by a mistake look upon it as the escutcheons of the more antient religion of the two ; and as some men of a good pedigree , will despise meaner men , tho' never so much superior to them by nature , so these undervalue reformation as an upstart , and think there is more honour in supporting an old errour , than in embracing what seems to them to be a new truth ; the laws have made them men of pleasure , by excluding them from publick business , and it happens well they are so , since they will the more easily be perswaded by arguments of ease and conveniency ●o them ; they have not put off the 〈◊〉 ●n general , nor the englishman in particular , those who in the late 〈◊〉 against them went into other countries , tho they had all the advantage that might recommend them to a good reception , yet in a little time they chose to steal over again , and live here with hazard , rather than abroad with security . there is a smell in our native earth , better than all the perfumes in the east ; there is something in a mother , tho never so angry , that the children will more naturally trust her , than the studied civilities of strangers , let them be never so hospitable ; therefore 't is not adviseable , nor agreeing with the rules of governing prudence , to provoke men by hardships to forget that nature , which else is sure to be of our side . when these men by fair usage are put again into their right senses , they will have quite differing reflections from those which rigour and persecution had raised in them : a lay papist will first consider his abby-lands which notwithstanding whatever ha● or can be alledged , must sink considerably in the value , the moment tha● popery prevails ; and it being a disputable matter , whether zeal migh● not in a little time get the better 〈◊〉 the law in that case ; a considering man will admit that as an argument to perswade him , to be content with things as they are , rather than run this or any other hazard by change , in which perhaps he may have no other advantage , than that his new humble confessor may he rais'd to a bishoprick , and from thence look down superciliously upon his patron , or which is worse , run to take possession for god almighty of his abby , in such a manner as the usurping landlord ( as he will then be called ) shall hardly be admitted to be so much as a tenant to his own lands , lest his title should prejudge that of the church , which will then be the language ; he will think what disadvantage 't is to be looked upon as a separate creature , depending upon a foreign interest and authority , and for that reason , expos'd to the jealousie and suspicion of his country-men ; he will reflect what incumbrance it is to have his house a pasture for hungry priests to graze in , which have such a never-failing influence upon the foolish , which is the greatest part of every man's family , that a man's dominion , even over his own children , is mangled and divided , if not totally undermin'd by them ; then to be subject to what arbitrary taxes the popish convocations shall impose upon them for the carrying on the common interest of that religion , under penalty of being markd out for half hereticks by the rest of the party ; to have no share in business , no opportunity of shewing his own value to the world ; to live at the best an useless , and by others to be thought a dangerous member of the nation where he is born , is a burthen to a generous mind that cannot be taken off by all the pleasure of a lazy unmanly life , or by the nauseous enjoyment of a dull plenty , that produceth no good for the mind , which will be considered in the first place by a man that has a soul ; when he shall think , that if his religion , after his wading through a sea of blood , come at last to prevail , it would infinitely lessen , if not entirely destroy the glory , riches , strength and liberty of his own country . and what a sacrifice is this to make to rome , where they are wise enough to wonder there should be such fools in the world , as to venture , struggle , and contend , nay , even die martyrs for that which , should it succecd , would prove a judgment instead of a blessing to them ; he will conclude that the advantages of throwing some of their children back again to god almighty when they have too many of them , are not equal to the inconveniencies they may either feel or fear , by continuing their separation from the religion established . temporal things will have their weight in the world , and tho zeal may prevail for a time , and get the better in a skirmish , yet the war ends generally on the side of flesh and blood , and will do so till mankind is another thing than it is at present : and therefore a wise papist in cold blood , considering these and many other circumstances , which 't will be worth his pains to see if he can unmuffle himself from the mask of infallibility , will think it reasonable to set his imprison'd senses at liberty , and that he has a right to see with his own eyes , hear with his own ears , and judge by his own reason ; the consequence of which might probably be , that weighing things in a right scale , and seeing them in their true colours , he would distinguish between the merit of suffering for a good cause , and the foolish ostentation of drawing inconveniencies upon himself ; and therefore will not be unwilling to be convinc'd that our protestant creed may make him happy in the other world , and the easier in this . a few of such wise proselytes would by their example draw so many after them , that the party would insensibly melt away , and in a little time , without any angry word , we should come to an union , that all good men would have reason to rejoyce at ; but we are not to presume upon these conversions , without preparing men for them by kind and reconciling arguments ; nothing is so against our nature , as to believe those can be in the right who are too hard upon us ; there is a deformity in every thing that doth us hurt , it will look scurvily in our eye while the smart continues , and a man must have an extraordinary measure of grace , to think well of a religion that reduces him and his family to misery ; in this respect our trimmer would consent to the mitigation of such laws as were made , ( as it 's said king henry viii . got queen elizabeth ) in a heat against rome : it may be said that even states as well as private men are subject to passion ; a just indignation of a villainous attempt produces at the same time such remedies , as perhaps are not without some mixture of revenge , and therefore tho time cannot repeal a law , it may by a natural effect soften the execution of it ; there is less danger to rouse a lyon when at rest , than to awake laws that were intended to have their time of sleeping , nay more than that , in some cases their natural periods of life , dying of themselves without the solemnity of being revoked , any otherwise than by the common consent of mankind , who do cease to execute , when the reasons in great measure fail that first created and justifyed the rigour of such unusual penalties . our trimmer is not eager to pick out some places in history against this or any other party ; quite contrary , is very sollicitous to find out any thing that may be healing , and tend to an agreement ; but to prescribe the means of this gentleness so as to make it effectual , must come from the only place that can furnish remedies for this cure , viz. a parliament ; in the mean time , it is to be wished there may be such a mutual calmness of mind , as that the protestants might not be so jealous , as still to smell the match that was to blow up the king , and both houses in the gunpowder treason , or to start at every appearance of popery , as if it were just taking possession . on the other side , let not the papists suffer themselves to be led by any hopes , tho never so flattering , to a confidence or ostentation which must provoke men to be less kind to them ; let them use modesty on their sides , and the protestants indulgence on theirs ; and by this means there will be an overlooking of all venial faults , a tacit connivanee at all things that do not carry scandal with them , and would amount to a kind of natural dispensation with the the severe laws , since there would be no more accusers to be found , when the occasions of anger and animosity are once remov'd ; let the papists in the mean time remember , that there is a respect due from all lesser numbers to greater , a deference to be paid by an opinion that is exploded , to one that is established ; such a thought well digested will have an influence upon their behaviour , and produce such a temper as must win the most eager adversaries out of their ill humour to them , and give them a title to all the favour that may be consistent with the publick peace and security . the trimmer's opinion in relation to things abroad . the world is so compos'd , that it is hard , if not impossible , for a nation not to be a great deal involv'd in the fate of their neighbours , and tho by the felicity of our scituation , we are more independant than any other people , yet we have in all ages been concern'd for our own sakes in the revolutions abroad . there was a time when england was the over-ballancing power of christendom , and that either by inheritance or conquest , the better part of france receiv'd laws from us ; after that we being reduc'd into our own limits , france and spain became the rivals for the universal monarchy , and our third power , tho in it self less than either of the other , hapned to be superiour to any of them , by that choice we had of throwing the scales on that side to which we gave our friendship . i do not know whether this figure did not make us as great as our former conquest , to be a perpetual umpire of two great contending powers , who gave us all their courtship , and offer'd all their incense at our altar , whilst the fate of either prince seemed to depend upon the oracles we delivered ; for the king of england to sit on his throne , as in the supream court of justice , to which the two great monarchs appeal , pleading their cause , and expecting their sentence . declaring which side was in the right , or at least if we pleas'd which side should have the better of it , was a piece of greatness which was peculiar to us , and no wonder if we endeavour to preserve it , as we did for a considerable time , it being our safety , as well as glory , to maintain it ; but by a fatality upon our councils , or by the refin'd policy of this latter age , we have thought fit to use industry to destroy this mighty power , which we have so long enjoyed ; and that equality between the two monarchs , which we might for ever have preserved , has been chiefly broken by us , whose interest it was above all others to maintain it ; when one of them , like the overflowing of the sea , had gained more upon the other than our convenience , or indeed our safety , would allow ; instead of mending the banks , or making new ones , we our selves with our own hands helpt to cut them , to invite and make way for a farther inundation . france and spain have had their several turns in making use of our mistakes , and we have been formerly as deaf to the instances of the then weaker part of the world to help them against the house of austria , as we can now be to the earnestness of spain , that we would assist them against the power of france . gondamar was as sawcy , and as powerful too in king james his court , as any french ambassadour can have been at any time since , when men talkt as wrong then on the spanish side , and made their court by it , as well as any can have done since by talking as much for the french ; so that from that time , instead of weighing in a wisebalance the power of either crown , it looks as if we had learnt only to weigh the pensions , and take the heaviest . it would be tedious , as well as unwelcome , to recapitulate all our wrong steps , so that i will go no farther than the king's restauration , at which time the balance was on the side of france , and that by the means of cromwell , who for a separate interest of his own had sacrificed that of the nation , by joining with the stronger side , to suppress the power of spain , which he ought to have supported . such a method was natural enough to an usurper , and shew'd he was not the lawful father of the people , by his having so little care of them ; and the example coming from that hand , one would think should , for that reason , be less likely to be follow'd . but to go on , home comes the king , followed with courtships from all nations abroad , of which some did it not only to make them forget how familiarly they had us'd him when he was in other circumstances , but to bespeak the friendship of a prince , who , besides his other greatness , was yet more considerable by being re-established by the love of his people . france had an interest either to dispose us to so much good will , or at least to put us into such a condition , that we might give no opposition to their designs ; and flanders being a perpetual object in their eye , a lasting beauty for which they have an incurable passion , and not being kind enough to consent to them , they meditated to commit a rape upon her , which they thought would not be easie to do , whilst england and holland were agreed to rescue her , when-ever they should hear her cry out for help to them ; to this end they put in practice seasonable and artificial whispers , to widen things between us , and the states . amboyna and the fishery must be talk'd of here ; the freedom of the seas , and the preservation of trade must be insinuated there ; and there being combustible matter on both sides , in a little time it took fire , which gave those that kindled it , sufficient cause to smile and hug themselves , to see us both fall into the net they had laid for us . and it is observable and of good example to us , if we will take it , that their design being to set us together at cuffs to weaken us , they kept themselves lookers on till our victories began to break the balance ; then the king of france , like a wise prince , was resolved to support the beaten side , and would no more let the power of the sea , than we ought to suffer the monarchy of europe , to fall into one hand : in pursuance to this , he took part with the dutch , and in a little time made himself umpire of the peace between us ; some time after , upon pretence of his queen's title to part of flanders , by right of devolution , he falls into it with a mighty force , for which the spaniard was so little prepared , that he made a very swift progress , and had such a torrent of undisputed victory , that england and holland , tho the wounds they had given one another were yet green , being struck with the apprehension of so near a danger to them , thought it necessary , for their own defence , to make up a sudden league , into which sweden was taken to interpose for a peace between the two crowns . this had so good an effect , that france was stopt in its career , and the peace of aix le chapelle was a little after concluded . 't was a forc'd putt ; and tho france wisely dissembled their inward dissatisfaction , yet from the very moment they resolv'd to unty the triple knot , whatever it cost them ; for his christian majesty , after his conquering meals , ever rises with a stomach , and he lik'd the pattern so well , that it gave him a longing desire to have the whole piece . amongst the other means used for the attaining this end , the sending over the dutchess of orleans , was not the least powerful ; she was a very welcome guest here , and her own charms and dexterity joined with other advantages , that might help her perswasions , gave her such an ascendant , that she could hardly fail of success . one of the preliminaries of her treaty , tho a trivial thing in it self , yet was considerable in the consequence , as very small circumstances often are in relation to the government of the world. about this time a general humour , in opposition to france , had made us throw off their fashion , and put on vests , that we might look more like a distinct people , and not be under the servility of imitation , which ever pays a greater deference to the original , than is consistent with the equality all independent nations should pretend to ; france did not like this small beginning of ill humours , at least of emulation , and wisely considering that it is a natural introduction first to make the world their apes , that they may be afterwards their slaves . it was thought that one of the instructions madam brought along with her , was to laugh us out of these vests , which she performed so effectually , that in a moment , like so many footmen who had quitted their masters livery , we all took it again , and returned to our old service ; so that the very time of doing it gave a very critical advantage to france , since it lookt like an evidence of our returning to their interest , as well as to their fashion , and would give such a distrust of us to our new allies , that it might facilitate the dissolution of the knot , which tied them so within their bounds , that they were very impatient till they were freed from the restraint . but the lady had a more extended commission than this , and without doubt we double-laid the foundation of a new strict alliance , quite contrary to the other , in which we had been so lately engag'd . and of this there were such early appearances , that the world began to look upon us as falling into apostacy from the common interest . notwithstanding all this , france did not neglect at the same time to give good words to the dutch , and even to feed them with hopes of supporting them against us , when on a sudden , that never to be forgotten declaration of war against them comes out , only to vindicate his own glory , and to revenge the injuries done to his brother in england , by which he became our second in this duel ; so humble can this prince be , when at the same time he does more honour than we deserve , he lays a greater share of the blame upon our shoulders , than did naturally belong to us ; the particulars of that war , our part in it while we staid in , and when we were out of breath , our leaving the french to make an end of it , are things too well known to make it necessary , and too unwelcome in themselves to incite me to repeat them ; only the wisdom of france is in this to be observed , that when we had made a separate peace , which left them single to oppose the united force of the confederates , they were so far from being angry , that they would not shew so much as the least coldness , hoping to get as much by our mediation for a peace , as they would have expected from our assistance in the war , our circumstances at that time considered . this seasonable piece of indulgence in not reproaching us , but rather allowing those necessities of state which we gave for our excuse , was such an engaging method , that it went a great way to keep us still in their chains , when , to the eye of the world , we had absolutely broke loose from them : and what passed afterwards at nimoguen , tho the king's neutrality gave him the outward figure of a mediator , it appear'd that his interposition was extremely suspected of partiality by the confederates , who upon that ground did both at and before the conclusion of that treaty , treat his ministers there with a great deal of neglect . in this peace , as well as that in the pirenean and aix le chapelle , the king of france , at the moment of making it , had the thought of breaking it ; for a very little time after he broach'd his pretensions upon alost , which were things that if they had been offer'd by a less formidable hand , would have been smiled at ; but ill arguments being seconded by good armies , carry such a power with them , that naked sense is a very unequal adversary . it was thought that these aiery claims were chiefly rais'd with the prospect of getting luxemburg for the equivalent ; and this opinion was confirm'd by the blocking it up afterwards , pretending to the country of chimay , that it might be entirely surrounded by the french dominions , and it was so pressed that it might have fallen in a little time , if the king of france had not sent orders to his troops to retire , and his christian generosity which was assign'd for the reason of it , made the world smile , since it is seen how differently his devout zeal works in hungary : that specious reason was in many respects ill-tim'd , and france it self gave it so faintly , that at the very time it look'd out of countenance ; the true ground of his retiring is worth our observation ; for at the instance of the confederates , offices were done , and memorials given , but all ineffectual till the word parliament was put into them ; that powerful word had such an effect , that even at that distance it rais'd the siege , which may convince us of what efficacy the king of england's words are , when he will give them their full weight , and threaten with his parliament ; it is then that he appears that great figure we ought to represent him in our minds , the nation his body , he the head , and joined with that harmony , that every word he pronounces is the word of a kingdom : such words , as appears by this example , are as effectual as fleets and armies , because they can create them , and without this his word sounds abroad like a faint whisper , that is either not heard , or ( which is worse ) not minded . but tho france had made this step of forced compliance , it did not mean to leave off the pursuit of their pretensions ; and therefore immediately proposed the arbitration to the king ; but it appear'd , that notwithstanding his merit towards the confederates , in saving luxenburgh , the remembrances of what had passed before , had left such an ill taste in their mouths , that they could not relish our being put into a condition to dispose of their interests , and therefore declin d it by insisting upon a general treaty , to which france has ever since continued to be averse ; our great earnestness also to perswade the confederates to consent to it , was so unusual , and so suspicious a method , that it might naturally make them believe , that france spake to them by our mouth , and for that reason , if there has been no other , might hinder the accepting it ; and so little care hath been taken to cure this , or other jealousies the confederates may have entertain'd , that quite contrary , their ministers here every day take fresh alarms , from what they observe in small , as well as in greater circumstances ; and they being apt both to take and improve apprehensions of this kind , draw such inferences from them , as make them entirely despair of us . thus we now stand , far from being innocent spectators of our neighbours ruine , and by a fatal mistake forgetting what a certain fore-runner it is to our own ; and now it 's time our trimmer should tell something of his opinion , upon this present state of things abroad ; he first professes to have no biass , either for or against france , and that his thoughts are wholly directed by the interest of his own country ; he allows , and has read that spain used the same methods , when it was in its heighth , as france doth now , and therefore 't is not partiality that moves him ; but the just fear which all reasonable men must be possess'd with , of an overgrowing power ; ambition is a devouring beast , when it hath swallow'd one province , instead of being cloyed , it has so much the greater stomach to another , and being fed , becomes still the more hungry ; so that for the confederates to expect a security from any thing but their own united strength , is a most miserable fallacy ; and if they cannot resist the incroachments of france by their arms , it is in vain for them to dream of any other means of preservation ; it would have the better grace , besides the saving so much blood and ruin , to give up all at once ; make a present of themselves , to appease this haughty monarch , rather than be whisper'd , flatter'd , or cozened out of their liberty . nothing is so soft as the first applications of a greater prince , to engage a weaker , but that smiling countenance is but a vizard , it is not the true face ; for as soon as their turn is serv'd , the courtship flyes to some other prince or state , where the same part is to be acted over again , leaves the old mistaken friend , to neglect and contempt , and like an insolent lover to a cast off mistress , reproaches her with that infamy , of which he himself was the author . sweden , bavaria , palatine , &c. may by their fresh examples , teach other princes what they are reasonably to expect , and what snakes are hid under the flowers the court of france so liberally throws upon them , whilst they can be useful . the various methods and deep intrigues , with the differing notes in several countries , do not only give suspicion , but assurance that every thing is put in practice , by which universal monarchy may be obtained . who can reconcile the withdrawing of his troops from luxenburg , in consideration of the war in hungary , which was not then declared , and presently after encouraging the turk to take vienna , and consequently to destroy the empire ? or who can think that the persecution of the poor protestants of france , will be accepted of god , as an attonement for hazarding the loss of the whole christian faith ? can he be thought in earnest , when he seem'd to be afraid of the spaniards , and for that reason must have luxenburg , and that he cannot be safe from germany , unless he is in possession of strasburg ? all injustice and violence must in it self be grievous , but the aggravations of supporting 'em by false arguments , and insulting reasons , has something in it yet more provoking , than the injuries themselves ; and the world has ground enough to apprehend , from such a method of arguing , that even their senses are to be subdu'd as well as their liberties . then the variety of arguments used by france in several countries is very observable : in england and denmark , nothing insisted on but the greatness and authority of the crown ; on the other side , the great men in poland are commended , who differ in opinion with the king , and they argue like friends to the priviledge of the dyet , against the separate power of the crown : in sweden they are troubled that the king should have chang'd something there of late , by his single authority , from the antient and settled authority and constitutions : at ratisbone , the most christian majesty taketh the liberties of all the electors , and free states , into his immediate protection , and tells them the emperour is a dangerous man , an aspiring hero , that would infallibly devour them , if he was not at hand to resist him on their behalf ; but above all in holland , he has the most obliging tenderness for the common-wealth , and is in such disquiets , lest it should be invaded by the prince of orange , that they can do no less in gratitude , than undo themselves when he bids them , to show how sensible they are of his excessive good nature ; yet in spight of all these contradictions , there are in the world such refin'd states-men , as will upon their credit affirm the following paradoxes to be real truth ; first that france alone is sincere and keeps its faith , and consequently that it is the only friend we can rely upon ; that the king of france , of all men living , has the least mind to be a conqueror ; that he is a sleepy , tame creature , void of all ambition , a poor kind of a man , that has no farther thoughts than to be quiet ; that he is charm'd by his friendship to us , that it is impossible he should ever do us hurt , and therefore tho flanders was lost , it would not in the least concern us ; that he would fain help the crown of england to be absolute , which would be to take pains to put it into a condition to oppose him , as it is , and must be our interest , as long as he continues in such an overballancing power and greatness . such a creed as this , if once receiv'd , might prepare our belief for greater things , and as he that taught men to eat a dagger , began first with a pen-knife ; so if we can be prevail'd with to digest the smaller mistakes , we may at last make our stomachs strong enough for that of transubstantiation . our trimmer cannot easily be converted out of his senses by these state sophisters , and yet he has no such peevish obstinacy as to reject all correspondence with france , because we ought to be apprehensive of the too great power of it ; he would not have the kings friendship to the confederates extended to the involving him in any unreasonable or dangerous engagements , neither would he have him lay aside the consideration of his better establishment at home , out of his excessive zeal to secure his allies abroad ; but sure there might be a mean between these two opposite extreams , and it may be wish'd that our friendship with france should at least be so bounded , that it may consist with the humour as well as the interest of england . there is no woman but has the fears of contracting too near an intimacy with a much greater beauty , because it exposes her too often to a comparison that is not advantageous to her ; and sure it may become a prince to be as jealous of his dignity , as a lady can be of her good looks , and to be as much out of countenance , to be thought an humble companion to so much a greater power ; to be always seen in an ill light , to be so darkned by the brightness of a greater star , is somewhat mortifying ; and when england might ride admiral at the head of the confederates , to look like the kitching-yatch to the grand louis , is but a scurvy figure for us to make in the map of christendom ; it would rise up in our trimmer's stomach , if ever ( which god forbid ) the power of calling and intermitting parliaments here , should be transferred to the crown of france , and that all the opportunities of our own settlements at home should give way to their projects abroad ; and that our interest should be so far sacrific'd to our compliance , that all the omnipotence of france can never make us full amends for it . in the mean time , he shrinks at the dismal prospect he can by no means drive away from his thoughts , that when france has gatherd all the fruit arising from our mistakes , and that we can bear no more with them , they will cut down the tree and throw it into the fire ; for all this while , some superfine states-men , to comfort us , would fain perswade the world that this or that accident may save us , and for all that is or ought to be dear to us , would have us to rely wholly upon chance , not considering that fortune is wisdoms creature , and that god almighty loves to be on the wisest as well as the strongest side ; therefore this is such a miserable shift , such a shameful evasion , that they would be laught to death for it , if the ruining consequence of this mistake did not more dispose men to rage , and a detestation of it . our trimmer is far from idolatry in other things , in one thing only he comes near it , his country is in some degree his idol ; he does not worship the sun , because 't is not peculiar to us , it rambles about the world , and is less kind to us than others ; but for the earth of england , tho perhaps inferior to that of many places abroad , to him there is divinity in it , and he would rather dye , than see a piece of english glass trampled down by a foreign trespasser : he thinks there are a great many of his mind , for all plants are apt to taste of the soyl in which they grow , and we that grow here , have a root that produces in us a stalk of english juice , which is not to be changed by grafting or foreign infusion ; and i do not know whether any thing less will prevail , than the modern experiment , by which the blood of one creature is transinitted into another ; according to which , before the french can be let into our bodies , every drop of ourown must be drawn out of them . our trimmer cannot but lament , that by a sacrifice too great for one nation to another , we should be like a rich mine , made useless only for want of being wrought , and that the life and vigour which should move us against our enemies is miserably apply'd to tear our own bowels ; that being made by our happy scituation , not only safer , but if we please greater too , than other countries which far exceed us in extent ; that having courage by nature , learning by industry , and riches by trade , we should corrupt all these advantages , so as to make them insignificant , and by a fatality which seems peculiar to us , misplace our active rage one against another , whilst we are turn'd into statues on that side where lies our greatest danger ; to be unconcern'd not only at our neighbours ruine but our own , and let our island lye like a great hulk in the sea , without rudder or sail , all the men cast away in her , or as if we were all children in a great cradle , and rockt asleep to a foreign tune . i say when our trimmer representeth to his mind , our roses blasted and discolourd , whilst the lillies triumph and grow insolent , upon the comparison ; when he considers our own once flourishing lawrel , now withered and dying , and nothing left us but a remembrance of a better part in history , than we shall make in the next age ; which will be no more to us than an escutcheon hung upon our door when we are dead ; when he foresees from hence , growing infamy from abroad , confusion at home , and all this without the possibility of a cure , in respect of the voluntary fetters good men put upon themselves by their allegiance without a good measure of preventing grace , he would be tempted to go out of the world like a roman philosopher , rather than endure the burthen of life under such a discouraging prospect . but mistakes , as all other things , have their periods , and many times the nearest way to cure , is not to oppose them , but stay till they are crusht with their own weight : for nature will not allow any thing to continue long that is violent ; violence is a wound , and as a wound , must be curable in a little time , or else 't is mortal ; but a nation comes near to be immortal , therefore the wound will one time or another be cured , tho perhaps by such rough methods , if too long forborn , as may even make the best remedies we can prepare , to be at the same time a melancholly contemplation to us ; there is but one thing ( god almighties providence excepted ) to support a man from sinking under these afflicting thoughts , and that is the hopes we draw singly from the king himself , without the mixture of any other consideration . tho the nation was lavish of their kindness to him at his first coming , yet there remains still a stock of warmth in mens hearts for him . besides the good influences of his happy planet are not yet all spent , and tho the stars of men past their youth are generally declining , and have less force , like the eyes of decaying beauties , yet by a blessing peculiar to himself , we may yet hope to be sav'd by his autumnal fortune : he has something about him that will draw down a healing miracle for his and our deliverance ; a prince which seems fitted for such an offending age , in which mens crimes have been so general , that the not forgiving his people has been the destroying of them , whose gentleness gives him a natural dominion that hath no bounds , with such a noble mixture of greatness and condescention , an engaging look , that disarms men of their ill humours , and their resentments ; something in him that wanteth a name , and can be no more defined than it can be resisted ; a gift of heaven , of its last finishing , where it will be peculiarly kind ; the only prince in the world that dares be familiar , or that has right to triumph over those forms which were first invented to give awe to those who could not judge , and to hide defects from those that could ; a prince that has exhausted himself by his liberality , and endanger'd himself by his mercy ; who out-shines by his own light and natural virtues all the varnish of studied acquisitions ; his faults are like shades to a good picture , or like allay to gold , to make it the more useful , he may have some , but for any man to see them through so many reconciling virtues , is a sacrilegious piece of of ill nature , of which no generous mind can be guilty ; a prince that deserves to be lov'd for his own sake , even without the help of a comparison ; our love , our duty , and our danger , all join to cement our obedience to him ; in short , whatever he can do , it is no more possible for us to be angry with him , than with a bank that secures us from the raging sea , the kind shade that hides us from the scorching sun , the welcom hand that reaches us a reprieve , or with the guardian-angel , that rescues our souls from the devouring jaws of wretched eternity . conclusion . to conclude , our trimmer is so fully satisfy'd of the truth of these principles , by which he is directed , in reference to the publick , that he will neither be hectored and threatned , laught , nor drunk cut of them ; and instead of being converted by the arguments of his adversaries to their opinions , he is very much confirmed in his own by them ; he professes solemnly that were it in his power to chuse , he would rather have his ambition bounded by the commands of a great and wise master , than let it range with a popular licence , tho crown'd with success ; yet he cannot commit such a sin against the glorious thing call'd liberty , nor let his soul stoop so much below it self , as to be content without repining to have his reason wholly subdu'd , or the priviledge of acting like a sensible creature , torn from him by the imperious dictates of unlimited authority , in what hand soever it happens to be plac'd . what is there in this that is so criminal , as to deserve the penalty of that most singular apothegme , a trimmer is worse than a rebel ? what do angry men ail to rail so against moderation , do's it not look as if they were going to some very scurvy extreme , that is too strong to be digested by the more considering part of mankind ? these arbitrary methods , besides the injustice of them , are ( god be thanked ) very unskilful too , for they fright the birds , by talking so loud , from coming into the nets that are laid for them ; and when men agree to rifle a house , they seldom give warning , or blow a trumpet ; but there are some small states-men , who are so full charg'd with their own expectations , that they cannot contain . and kind heaven by sending such a seasonable curse upon their undertakings , has made their ignorance an antidote against their malice ; some of these cannot treat peaceably , yielding will not satisfy them , they will have men by storm ; there are others , that must have plots , to make their service more necessary , and have an interest to keep them alive , since they are to live upon them ; and perswade the king to retrench his own greatness , so as to shrink into the head of a party , which is the betraying him into such an unprincely mistake , and to such a wilful diminution of himself , that they are the last enemies he ought to allow himself to forgive ; such men , if they could , would prevail with the sun to shine only upon them and their friends , and to leave all the rest of the world in the dark ; this is a very unusual monopoly , and may come within the equity of the law , which makes it treason to imprison the king , when such unfitting bounds are put to his favour , and he confin'd to the narrow limits of a particular set of men , that would inclose him ; these honest and only loyal gentlemen , if they may be allow'd to bear witness for themselves , make a king their engine , and degrade him into a property at the very time that their flattery would make him believe they paid divine worship to him ; besides these there is a flying squadron on both sides , that are afraid the world should agree , small dabblers in conjuring , that raise angry apparitions to keep men from being reconcil'd , like wasps that fly up and down , buz and sting to keep men unquiet ; but these insects are commonly short-liv'd creatures , and no doubt in a little time mankind will be rid of them ; they were gyants at least who fought once against heaven , but for such pigmies as these to contend against it , is such a provoking folly , that the insolent bunglers ought to be laught and hist out of the world for it ; they should consider there is a soul in that great body of the people , which may for a time be drowzy and unactive , but when the leviathan is rouz'd , it moves like an angry creature , and will neither be convinc'd nor resisted : the people can never agree to shew their united powers , till they are extremely tempted and provoked to it , so that to apply cupping-glasses to a great beast naturally dispos'd to sleep , and to force the tame thing whether it will or no to be valiant , must be learnt out of some other book than machiavil , who would never have prescrib'd such a proposterous method . it is to be remembred , that if princes have law and authority on their sides , the people on theirs may have nature , which is a formidable adversary ; duty , justice , religion , nay , even humane prudence too , bids the people suffer any thing rather than resist ; but uncorrected nature , where e're it feels the smart will run to the nearest remedy , mens passions in this case are to be consider'd as well as their duty , let it be never so strongly enforc'd , for if their passions are provok'd , they being as much a part of us as our limbs , they lead men into a short way of arguing , that admits no distinction , and from the foundation of self-defence , they will draw inferences , that will have miserable effects upon the quiet of a government . our trimmer therefore dreads a general discontent , because he thinks it differs from a rebellion , only as a spotted fever does from the plague , the same species under a lower degree of malignity ; it works several ways , sometimes like a slow poyson that has its effects at a great distance from the time it was given , sometimes like dry flax prepared to catch at the first fire , or like seed in the ground ready to sprout upon the first shower ; in every shape 't is fatal , and our trimmer thinks no pains or precaution can be so great as to prevent it . in short he thinks himself in the right , grounding his opinion upon that truth , which equally hates to be under the oppressions of wrangling sophistry of the one hand , or the short dictates of mistaken authority on the other . our trimmer adores the goddess truth , tho' in all ages she has been scurvily used , as well as those that worshipped her ; 't is of late become such a ruining virtue , that mankind seems to be agreed to commend and avoid it ; yet the want of practice which repeals the other laws , has no influence upon the law of truth , because it has root in heaven , and an intrinfick value in it self , that can never be impaired ; she shews her greatness in this , that her enemies even when they are successful are asham'd to own it ; nothing but power full of truth has the prerogative of triumphing , not only after victories , but in spite of them , and to put conquest her self out of countenance ; she may be kept under and supprest , but her dignity still remains with her , even when she is in chains ; falshood with all her impudence , has not enough to speak ill of her before her face , such majesty she carries about her , that her most prosperous enemies are fain to whisper their treason ; all the power upon earth can never extinguish her , she has lived in all ages ; and let the mistaken zeal of prevailing authority , christen any opposition to it , with what name they please , she makes it not only an ugly and unmannerly , but a dangerous thing to persist ; she has lived very retired indeed , nay sometime so buried , that only some few of the discerning part of mankind could have a glimpse of her ; with all that she has eternity in her , she knows not how to dye , and from the darkest clouds that shade and cover her , she breaks from time to time with triumph for her friends , and terrour to her enemies . our trimmer therefore inspired by this divine virtue , thinks fit to conclude with these assertions , that our climate is a trimmer , between that part of the world where men are roasted , and the other where they are frozen ; that our church is a trimmer , between the phrenzy of pratonick visions , and the lethargick ignorance of popish dreams ; that our laws are trimmers , between the excess of unbounded power , and the extravagance of liberty not enough restrained ; that true virtue has ever been thought a trimmer , and to have its dwelling in the middle between the two extreams ; that even god almighty himself is divided between his two great attributes , his mercy and his justice . in such company , our trimmer is not asham'd of his name , and willingly leaves to the bold champions of either extream , the honour of contending with no less adversaries , than nature , religion , liberty , prudence , humanity , and common sense . finis . the lady's new-year's-gift : or , advice to a daughter dear daughter , i find , that even our most pleasing . thoughts will be unquiet ; they will be in motion ; and the mind can have no rest whilst it is possess'd by a darling passion . you are at present the chief object of my care , as well as of my kindness , which sometimes throweth me into visions of your being happy in the world , that are better suited to my partial wishes , than to my reasonable hopes for you . at other times , when my fears prevail , i shrink as if i was struck , at the prospect of danger , to which a young woman must be expos'd . by how much the more . lively , so much the more liable you are to be hurt ; as the finest plants are the soonest nipped by the frost . whilst you are playing full of innocence , the spitefull world will bite , except you are guarded by your caution . want of care therefore , my dear child , is never to be excus'd ; since , as to this world , it hath the same effect as want of vertue . such an early sprouting wit requireth so much the more to be sheltred by some rules , like something strew'd on tender flowers to preserve them from being blasted . you must take it well to be prun'd by so kind a hand as that of a father . there may be some bitterness in meer obedience : the natural love of liberty may help to make the commands of a parent harder to go down : some inward resistance there will be , where power and not choice maketh us move . but when a father layeth aside his authority , and persuadeth only by his kindness , you will never answer it to good nature , if it hath not weight with you . a great part of what is said in the following discourse may be above the present growth of your understanding ; but that becoming every day taller , will in a little time reach up to it , so as to make it easie to you . i am willing to begin with you before your mind is quite form'd , that being the time in which it is most capable of receiving a colour that will last when it is mix'd with it . few things are well learnt , but by early precepts : those well infus'd , make them natural ; and we are never sure of retaining what is valuable , till by a continued habit we have made it a piece of us . whether my skill can draw the picture of a fine woman , may be a question : but it can be none , that i have drawn that of a kind father : if you will take an exact copy , i will so far presume upon my workmanship as to undertake you shall not make an ill figure . give me so much credit as to try , and i am sure that neither your wishes nor mine shall be disappointed by it . religion . the first thing to be considered , is religion . it must be the chief object of your thoughts , since it would be a vain thing to direct your behaviour in the world , and forget that which you are to have towards him who made it . in a strict sense , it is the only thing necessary : you must take it into your mind , and from thence throw it into your heart , where you are to embrace it so close as never to lose the possession of it . but then it is necessary to distinguish between the reality and the pretence . religion doth not consist in believing the legend of the nursery , where children with their milk are fed with the tales of witches , hobgoblings , prophecies , and miracles . we suck in so greedily these early mistakes , that our riper vnderstanding hath much ado to cleanse our minds from this kind of trash : the stories are so entertaining , that we do not only believe them , but relate them ; which makes the discovery of the truth somewhat grievous , when it makes us lose such a field of impertinence , where we might have diverted our selves , besides the throwing some shame upon us for having ever received them . this is making the world a jest , and imputing to god almighty , that the province he assigneth to the devil , is to play at blind-mans-buff , and shew tricks with mankind ; and is so far from being religion , that it is not sense , and hath right only to be call'd that kind of devotion , of which ignorance is the undoubted mother , without competition or dispute . these mistakes are therefore to be left off with your hanging-sleeves ; and you ought to be as much out of countenance to be found with them about you , as to be seen playing with babies , at an age when other things are expected from you . the next thing to be observ'd to you , is , that religion doth as little consist in loud answers and devout convulsions at church , or praying in an extraordinary manner . some ladies are so extream stirring at church , that one would swear the worm in their conscience made them so unquiet . others will have such a divided face between a devout goggle and an inviting glance , that the unnatural mixture maketh even the best looks to be at that time ridiculous . these affected appearances are ever suspected , like very strong perfumes , which are generally thought no very good symptoms in those that make use of them . let your earnestness therefore be reserv'd for your closet , where you may have god almighty to your self : in publick be still and calm , neither undecently careless , nor affected in the other extream . it is not true devotion , to put on an angry zeal against those who may be of a differing persuasion . partiality to our selves makes us often mistake it for a duty , to fall hard upon others in that case ; and being push'd on by self-conceit , we strike without mercy believing that the wounds we give are meritorious , and that we are fighting god almighty's quarrel ; when the truth is , we are only setting out our selves . our devotion too often breaketh out into that shape which most agreeth with our particular temper . the cholerick grow into a hardned severity against all who dissent from them ; snatch at all the texts of scripture that suit with their complexion ; and because god's wrath was some time kindled , they conclude , that anger is a divine vertue ; and are so far from imagining their ill natur'd zeal requireth an apology , that they value themselves upon it , and triumph in it . others , whose nature is more credulous than ordinary , admit no bounds or measure to it ; they grow as proud of extending their faith , as princes are of enlarging their dominions ; not considering , that our faith , like our stomach , is capable of being over-charg'd ; and that as the last is destroy'd by taking in more than it can digest , so our reason may be extinguish'd by oppressing it with the weight of too many strange things ; especially if we are forbidden to chew what we are commanded to swallow . the melancholy and the sullen are apt to place a great part of their religion in dejected or ill-humour'd looks , putting on an unsociable face , and declaiming against the innocent entertainments of life , with as much sharpness as they could bestow upon the greatest crimes . this generally is only a vizard , there is seldom any thing real in it . no other thing is the better for being sowre ; and it would be hard that religion should be so , which is the best of things . in the mean time it may be said with truth , that this surly kind of devotion hath perhaps done little less hurt in the world , by frighting , than the most scandalous examples have done by infecting it . having told you , in these few instances , to which many more might be added , what is not true religion ; it is time to describe to you , what is so . the ordinary definitions of it are no more like it , than the common sign-posts are like the princes they would represent . the unskilful dawbers in all ages have generally laid on such ill colours , and drawn such harsh lines , that the beauty of it is not easily to be discerned : they have put in all the forbidding features that can be thought of ; and in the first place , have made it an irreconcilable enemy to nature ; when , in reality , they are not only friends but twins , born together at the same time ; and it is doing violence to them both , to go about to have them separated . nothing is so kind and so inviting as true and unsophisticated religion : instead of imposing unnecessary burdens upon our nature , it easeth us of the greater weight of our passions and mistakes : instead of subduing us with rigour , it redeemeth us from the slavery we are in to our selves , who are the most severe masters , whilst we are under the usurpation of our appetites let loose and not restrain'd . religion is a chearsul thing , so far from being always at cuffs with good humour , that it is inseparably united to it . nothing unpleasant belongs to it , though the spiritual cooks have done their unskilful part to give an ill relish to it . a wise epicure would be religious for the sake of pleasure ; good sense is the foundation of both ; and he is a bungler who aimeth at true luxury , but where they are join'd . religion is exalted reason , refin'd and sifted from the grosser parts of it : it dwelleth in the upper region of the mind , where there are fewest clouds or mists to darken or offend it : it is both the foundation and the crown of all vertues : it is morality improv'd and rais'd to its height , by being carried nearer heaven , the only place where perfection resideth . it cleanseth the vnderstanding , and brusheth off the earth that hangeth about our souls . it doth not want the hopes and the terrors which are made use of to support it ; neither ought it to descend to the borrowing any argument out of it self , since there we may find every thing that should invite us . if we were to be hired to religion , it is able to out-bid the corrupted world , with all it can offer to us , being so much the richer of the two , in every thing where reason is admitted to be a judge of the value . since this is so , it is worth your pains to make religion your choice , and not make use of it only as a refuge . there are ladies , who finding by the too visible decay of their good . looks , that they can shine no more by that light , put on the varnish of an affected devotion , to keep up some kind of figure in the world. they take sanctuary in the church , when they are pursued by growing contempt , which will not be stopt , but followeth them to the altar . such late penitence is only a disguise for the tormenting grief of being no more handsome . that is the killing thought which draweth the sighs and tears , that appear outwardly to be applied to a beter end . there are many who have an aguish devotion , hot and cold fits , long intermissions , and violent raptures . this uneverness is by all means to be avoided . let your method be a steady course of good life , that may run like a smooth stream , and be a perpetual spring to furnish to the continued exercise of vertue . your devotion may be earnest , but it must be unconstrained ; and like other duties , you must make it your pleasure too , or else it will have very little efficacy . by this rule you may best judge of your own heart . whilst those duties are joys , it is an evidence of their being sincere ; but when they are a penance , it is a sign that your nature maketh some resistance ; and whilst that lasteth , you can never be entirely secure of your self . if you are often unquiet , and too nearly touch'd by the cross accidents of life , your devotion is not of the right standard ; there is too much allay in it . that which is right and unmixt , taketh away the sting of every thing that would trouble you : it is like a healing balm , that extinguisheth the sharpness of the bloud ; so this softeneth and dissolveth the anguish of the mind . a devout mind hath the privilege of being free from passions , as some climates are from all venomous kind of creatures . it will raise you above the little vexations to which others for want of it , will be expos'd , and bring you to a temper , not of stupid indifference , but of such a wise resignation , that you may live in the world , so as it may hang about you like a loose garment , and not tied too close to you . take heed of running into that common error , of applying god's judgments upon particular occasions . our weights and measures are not competent to make the distribution either of his mercy or his justice : he hath thrown a veilover these things , which makes it not only an impertinence , but a kind of sacrilege , for us to give sentence in them without his commission . as to your particular faith , keep to the religion that is grown up with you , both as it is the best in it self , and that the reason of staying in it upon that ground is somewhat stronger for your sex , than it will perhaps be allow'd to be for ours ; in respect that the voluminous enquiries into the truth , by reading , are less expected from you . the best of books will be direction enough to you not to change ; and whilst you are fix'd and sufficiently confirm'd in your own mind , you will do best to keep vain doubts and scruples at such a distance , that they may give you no disquiet . let me recommend to you a method of being rightly inform'd , which can never fail : it is in short this . get vnderstanding , and practise vertue . and if you are so blessed as to have those for your share , it is not surer that there is a god , than it is , that by him all necessary truths will be revealed to you . hvsband . that which challengeth the place in your thoughts , is , how to live with a husband . and though that is so large a word , that few rules can be fix'd to it which are unchangeable , the methods being as various as the several tempers of men to which they must be suited ; yet i cannot omit some general observations , which , with the help of your own may the better direct you in the part of your life upon which your happiness most dependeth . it is one of the disadvantages belonging to your sex , that young women are seldom permitted to make their own choice ; their friends care and experience are thought safer guides to them , than their own fancies ; and their modesty often forbiddeth them to refuse when their parents recommend , though their inward consent may not entirely go along with it . in this case there remaineth nothing for them to do , but to endeavour to make that easie which falleth to their lot , and by a wise use of every thing they may dislike in a husband , turn that by degrees to be very supportable , which , if neglected , might in time beget an aversion . you must first lay it down for a foundation in general , that there is inequality in the sexes , and that for the better oeconomy of the world , the men , who were to be the law-givers , had the larger share of reason bestow'd upon them ; by which means your sex is the better prepar'd for the compliance that is necessary for the better performance of those duties which seem to be most properly assign'd to it . this looks a little uncourtly at the first appearance ; but upon examination it will be found , that nature is so far from beng unjust to you , that she is partial on our side . she hath made you such large amends by other advantages , for the seeming injustice of the first distribution , that the right of complaining is come over to our sex. you have it in your power not only to free your selves , but to sudbue your masters , and without violence throw both their natural and legal authority at your feet . we are made of differing tempers , that our defects may the better be mutually supplied : your sex wanteth our reason for your conduct , and our strength for your protection : ours wanteth your gentleness to soften , and to entertain us . the first part of our life is a good deal subjected to you in the nursery , where you reign without competition , and by that means have the advantage of giving the first impressions . afterwards you have stronger influences , which , well manag'd , have more force in your behalf , than all our privileges and jurisdictions can pretend to have against you . you have more strength in your looks , than we have in our laws , and more power by your tears , than we have by our arguments . it is true , that the laws of marriage , run in a harsher stile towards your sex. obey is an ungenteel word , and less easie to be digested , by making such an unkind distinction in the words of the contract , and so very unsuitable to the excess of good manners , which generally goes before it . besides , the universality of the rule seemeth to be a grievance , and it appeareth reasonable , that there might be an exemption for extraordinary women , from ordinary rules , to take away the just exception that lieth against the false measure of general equality . it may be alledged by the counsel retained by your sex , that as there is in all other laws , an appeal from the letter to the equity , in cases that require it : it is as reasonable , that some court of a larger jurisdiction might be erected , where some wives might resort and plead specially . and in such instances , where nature is so kind , as to raise them above the level of their own sex , they might have relief , and obtain a mitigation in their own particular , of a sentence which was given generally against woman kind . the causes of separation are now so very course , that few are confident enough to buy their liberty at the price of having their modesty so exposed . and for disparity of minds , which above all other things requireth a remedy , the laws have made no provision ; so little refin'd are numbers of men , by whom they are compil'd . this and a great deal more might be said to give a colour to the complaint . but the answer to it , in short , is , that the institution of marriage is too sacred to admit a liberty of objecting to it ; that the supposition of yours being the weaker sex , having without all doubt a good foundation , maketh it reasonable to subject it to the masculine dominion ; that no rule can be so perfect , as not to admit some exceptions ; but the law presumeth there would be so few found in this case , who would have a sufficient right to such a privilege , that it is safer some injustice should be conniv'd at in a very few instances , than to break into an establishment , upon which the order of humane society doth so much depend . you are therefore to make your best of what is settled by law and custom , and not vainly imagine , that it will be changed for your sake . but that you may not be discouraged , as if you lay under the weight of an incurable grievance , you are to know , that by a wise and dexterous conduct , it will be in your power to relieve your self from any thing that looketh like a disadvantage in it . for your better direction , i will give a hint of the most ordinary causes of dissatisfaction between man and wife , that may be able by such a warning to live so upon your guard , that when you shall be married , you may know how to cure your husband 's mistakes , and to prevent your own . first then , you are to consider , you live in a time which hath rendred some kind of frailties so habitual , that they lay claim to large grains of allowance . the world in this is somewhat unequal , and our sex seemeth to play the tyrant in distinguishing partially for our selves , by making that in the utmost degree criminal in the woman , which in a man passeth under a much gentler censure . the root and the excuse of this injustice is the preservation of families from any mixture which may bring a blemish to them : and whilst the point of honour continues to be so plac'd , it seems unavoidable to give your sex , the greater share of the penalty . but if in this it lieth under any disadvantage , you are more than recompens'd , by having the honour of families in your keeping . the consideration so great a trust must give you , maketh full amends ; and this power the world hath lodged in you , can hardly fail to restrain the severity of an ill husband , and to improve the kindness and esteem of a good one . this being so , remember , that next to the danger of committing the fault your self , the greatest is that of seeing it in your husband . do not seem to look or hear that way : if he is a man of sense , he will reclaim himself ; the folly of it , is of it self sufficient to cure him : if he is not so , he will be provok'd , but not reform'd . to expostulate in these cases , looketh like declaring war , and preparing reprisals ; which to a thinking husband would be a dangerous reflexion . besides , it is so course a reason which will be assign'd for a lady 's too great warmth upon such an occasion , that modesty no less than prudence ought to restrain her ; since such an undecent complaint makes a wife much more ridiculous , than the injury that provoketh her to it . but it is yet worse , and more unskilful , to blaze it in the world , expecting it should rise up in arms to take her part : whereas she will find , it can have no other effect , than that she will be served up in all companies , as the reigning jest at that time ; and will continue to be the common entertainment , till she is rescu'd by some newer folly that cometh upon the stage , and driveth her away from it . the impertinence of such methods is so plain , that it doth not deserve the pains of being laid open . be assur'd , that in these cases your discretion and silence will be the most prevailing reproof . an affected ignorance , which is seldom a vertue , is a great one here : and when your husband seeth how unwilling you are to be uneasie , there is no stronger argument to perswade him not to be unjust to you . besides , it will naturally make him more yielding in other things : and whether it be to cover or redeem his offence , you may have the good effects of it whilest it lasteth , and all that while have the most reasonable ground that can be , of presuming , such a behaviour will at last entirely convert him . there is nothing so glorious to a wife , as a victory so gain'd : a man so reclaim'd , is for ever after subjected to her vertue ; and her bearing for a time , is more than rewarded by a triumph that will continue as long as her life . the next thing i will suppose , is , that your husband may love wine more than is convenient . it will be granted , that though there are vices of a deeper dye , there are none that have greater deformity than this , when it is not restrain'd : but with all this , the same custom which is the more to be lamented for its being so general , should make it less uneasie to every one in particular who is to suffer by the effects of it : so that in the first place , it will be no new thing if you should have a drunkard for your husband ; and there is by too frequent examples evidence enough , that such a thing may happen , and yet a wife may live too without being miserable . self-love dictateth aggravating words to every thing we feel ; ruine and misery are the terms we apply to whatever we do not like , forgetting the mixture allotted to us by the condition of human life , by which it is not intended we should be quite exempt from trouble . it is fair , if we can escape such a degree of it as would oppress us , and enjoy so much of the pleasant part as may lessen the ill taste of such things as are unwelcome to us . every thing hath two sides , and for our own ease we ought to direct our thoughts to that which may be least liable to exception . to fall upon the worst side of a drunkard , giveth so unpleasant a prospect , that it is not possible to dwell upon it . let us pass then to the more favourable part , as far as a wife is concern'd in it . i am tempted to say ( if the irregularity of the expression could in strictness be justified ) that a wife is to thank god her husband hath faults . mark the seeming paradox my dear , for your own instruction , it being intended no further . a husband without faults is a dangerous observer ; he hath an eye so piercing , and seeth every thing so plain , that it is expos'd to his full censure . and though i will not doubt but that your vertue will disappoint the sharpest enquiries ; yet few women can bear the having all they say or do represented in the clear glass of an understanding without faults . nothing softneth the arrogance of our nature , like a mixture of some frailties . it is by them we are best told , that we must not strike too hard upon others , because we our selves do so often deserve blows : they pull our rage by the sleeve , and whisper gentleness to us in our censures , even when they are rightly applied . the faults and passions of husbands bring them down to you , and make them content to live upon less unequal terms , than faultless men would be willing to stoop to ; so haughty is mankind till humbled by common weaknesses and defects , which in our corrupted state contribute more towards the reconciling us to one another , than all the precepts of the philosophers and divines . so that where the errors of our nature make amends for the disadvantages of yours it is more your part to make use of the benefit , than to quarrel at the fault . thus in case a drunken husband should fall to your share , if you will be wise and patient , his wine shall be of your side ; it will throw a veil over your mistakes , and will set cut and improve every thing you do , that he is pleased with . others will like him less , and by that means he may perhaps like you the more . when after having dined too well , he is received at home without a storm , or so much as a reproaching look , the wine will naturally work out all in kindness , which a wife must encourage , let it be wrapped up in never so much impertinence . on the other side it would boil up into rage , if the mistaken wife should treat him roughly , like a certain thing called a kind shrew , than which the world , with all its plenty , cannot shew a more senseless , ill-bred , forbidding creature . consider , that where the man will give such frequent intermissions of the use of his reason , the wife insensibly getteth a right of governing in the vacancy , and that raiseth her character and credit in the family , to a higher pitch than perhaps could be done under a sober husband , who never putteth himself into an incapacity of holding the reins . if these are not intire consolations , at least they are remedies to some degree . they cannot make drunkenness a vertue , nor a husband given to it a felicity ; but you will do your self no ill office in the endeavouring , by these means , to make the best of such a lot , in case it should happen to be yours , and by the help of a wise observation , to make that very supportable , which would otherwise be a load that would oppress you . the next case i will put is that your husband may be cholerick or ill-humour'd . to this it may be said , that passionate men generally make amends at the foot of the account . such a man , if he is angry one day without any sense , will the next day be as kind without any reason . so that by marking how the wheels of such a man's head are used to move , you may easily bring over all his passion to your party . instead of being struck down by his thunder , you shall direct it where and upon whom you shall think it best applied . thus are the strongest poisons turn'd to the best remedies ; but then there must be art in it , and a skilful hand , else the least bungling maketh in mortal . there is a great deal of nice care requisite to deal with a man of this complexion . choler proceedeth from pride , and maketh a man so partial to himself that he swelleth against contradiction ; and thinketh he is lessened if he is opposed . you must in this case take heed of increasing the storm by an unwary word , or kindling the fire whilst the wind is in a corner which may blow it in your face : you are dextrously to yield every thing till he beginneth to cool , and then by slow degrees you may rise and gain upon him : your gentleness well timed , will , like a charm , dispel his anger ill placed ; a kind smile will reclaim , when a shrill pettish answer would provoke him ; rather than fail upon such occasions , when other remedies are too weak , a little flattery may be admitted , which by being necessary , will cease to be criminal . if ill-humours and sullenness , and not open and sudden heat is his disease , there is a way of treating that too , so as to make it a grievance to be endured . in order to it , you are first to know , that naturally good sense hath a mixture of surly in it : and there being so much folly in the world , and for the most part so trumphant , it giveth frequent temptations to raise the spleen of men who think right . therefore that which may generally be call'd ill-humour , is not always a fault ; it becometh one when either it is wrong applied , or that it is continued too long , when it is not so : for this reason you must not too hastily fix an ill name upon that which may perhaps not deserve it ; and though the case should be , that your husband might too sowerly resent any thing he disliketh , it may so happen , that more blame shall belong to your mistake , than to his ill-humour . if a husband behaveth himself sometimes with an indifference that a wife may think offensive , she is in the wrong to put the worst sence upon it , if by any means it will admit a better . some wives will call it ill-humour if their husbands change their style from that which they used whilst they made their first addresses to them : others will allow no intermission or abatement in the expressions of kindness to them , not enough distinguishing times , and forgetting that it is impossible for men to keep themselves up all their lives to the height of some extravagant moments . a man may at some times be less careful in little things ; without any cold or disobliging reason for it ; as a wise may be too expecting in smaller matters , without drawing upon herself the inference of being unkind . and if your husband should be really sullen , and have such frequent fits , as might take away the excuse of it , it concerneth you to have an eye prepared to discern the first appearances of cloudy weather , and to watch when the fit goeth off , which seldom lasteth long if it is let alone . but whilst the mind is sore , every thing galleth it , and that maketh it necessary to let the black humour begin to spend it self , before you come in and venture to undertake it . if in the lottery of the world you should draw a covetous husband , i confess it will not make you proud of your good luck ; yet even such a one may be endured too , though there are few passions more untractable than that of avarice . you must first take care that your definition of avarice may not be a mistake . you are to examine every circumstance of your husband's fortune , and weigh the reason of every thing you expect from him before you have right to pronounce that sentence . the complaint is now so general against all husbands , that it giveth great suspicion of its being often ill-grounded ; it is impossible they should all deserve that censure , and therefore it is certain , that it is many times misapplied . he that spareth in every thing is an inexcusable niggard ; he that spareth in nothing is as inexcusable a madman . the mean is , to spare in what is least necessary , to lay out more liberally in what is most required in our several circumstances . yet this will not always satisfie . there are wives who are impatient of the rules of oeconomy , and are apt to call their husband's kindness in question , if any other measure is put to their expence than that of their own fancy . be sure to avoid this dangerous error , such a partiality to your self , which is so offensive to an understanding man , that he will very ill bear a wife's giving her self such an injurious preference to all the family , and whatever belongeth to it . but to admit the worst , and that your husband is really a close-handed wretch , you must in this , as in other cases , endeavour to make it less afflicting to you ; and first you must observe seasonable hours of speaking . when you offer any thing in opposition to this reigning humour , a third hand and a wise friend , may often prevail more than you will be allowed to do in your own cause . sometimes you are deuterously to go along with him in things , where you see that the niggardly part of his mind is most predominant , by which you will have the better opportunity of perswading him in things where he may be more indifferent . our passions are very unequal , and are apt to be raised or lessened , according as they work upon different objects ; they are not to be stopped or restrained in those things where our mind is more particularly engaged . in other matters they are more tractable , and will sometimes give reason a hearing , and admit a fair dispute . more than that , there are few men , even in this instance of avarice , so intirely abandoned to it , that at some hours , and upon some occasions , will not forget their natures , and for that time turn prodigal . the same man who will grudge himself what is necessary , let his pride be raised and he shall be profuse ; at another time his anger shall have the same effect ; a fit of vanity , ambition , and sometimes of kindness , shall open and inlarge his narrow mind ; a dose of wine will work upon this tough humor , and for the time dissolve it . your business must be , if this case happeneth , to watch these critical moments , and not let one of them slip without making your advantage of it : and a wife may be said to want skill , if by these means she is not able to secure her self in a good measure against the inconveniences this scurvy quality in a husband might bring upon her , except he should be such an incurable monster ; as i hope will never fall to your share . the last supposition i will make , is , that your husband should be weak and incompetent to make use of the privileges that belong to him . it will be yielded , that such a one leaveth room for a great many objections . but god , almighty seldom sendeth a grievance without a remedy , or at least such a mitigation as taketh away a great part of the sting , and the smart of it . to make such a misfortune● less heavy , you are first to bring to your observation , that a wife very often maketh better figure , for her husband 's making no great one : and there seemeth to be little reason , why the same lady that chuseth a waiting-woman with worse looks , may not be content with a husband with less wit ; the argument being equal from the advantage of the comparison . if you will be more ashamed in some cases , of such a husband , you will be less afraid than you would perhaps be of a wise one . his vnseasonable weakness may no doubt sometimes grieve you , but then set against this , that it giveth you the dominion , if you will make the right use of it . it is next to his being dead , in which case the wife hath right to administer ; therefore be sure , if you have such an idiot , that none , except your self , may have the benefit of the forfeiture ; such a fool is a dangerous beast , if others have the keeping of him ; and you must be very undexterous if when your husband shall resolve to be an ass , you do not take care he may be your ass . but you must go skilfully about it , and above all things , take heed of distinguishing in publick what kind of husband he is : your inward thoughts must not hinder the outward payment of the consideration that is due to him : your slighting him in company , besides that it would , to a discerning by stander , give too great encouragement for the making nearer applications to you , is in it self such an undecent way of assuming , that it may provoke the tame creature to break loose , and to shew his dominion for his credit , which he was content to forget for his ease . in short , the surest and the most approved method will be to do like a wise minister to an easie prince ; first give him the orders you afterwards receive from him . with all this , that which you are to pray for ; is a wise husband , one that by knowing how to be a master , for that very reason will not let you feel the weight of it ; one whose authority is so soften'd by his kindness , that it giveth you ease without abridging your liberty ; one that will return so much tenderness for your just esteem of him , that you will never want power , though you will seldom care to use it . such a husband is as much above all the other kinds of them , as a rational subjection to a prince , great in himself , is to be preferr'd before the disquiet and uneasiness of vnlimited liberty . before i leave this head , i must add a little concerning your behaviour to your husband's friends , which requireth the most refined part of your understanding to acquit your self well of it . you are to study how to live with them with more care than you are to apply to any other part of your life ; especially at first , that you may not stumble at the first setting out . the family into which you are grafted will generally be apt to expect , that like a stranger in a foreign country , you should conform to their methods , and not bring in a new model by your own authority . the friends in such a case are tempted to rise up in arms as against an unlawful invasion , so that you are with the utmost caution to avoid the least appearances of any thing of this kind . and that you may with less difficulty afterwards give your directions , be sure at first to receive them from your husband's friends . gain them to you by early applying to them , and they will be so satisfied , that as nothing is more thankful than pride , when it is complied with , they will strive which of them shall most recommend you ; and when they have helped you to take root in your husband 's good opinion , you will have less dependence upon theirs , though you must not neglect any reasonable means of preserving it . you are to consider , that a man govern'd by his friends , is very easily inflamed by them ; and that one who is not so , will yet for his own sake expect to have them consider'd . it is easily improved to a point of honour in a husband , not to have his relations neglected ; and nothing is more dangerous , than to raise an objection , which is grounded upon pride : it is the most stubborn and lasting passion we are subject to , and where it is the first cause of the war , it is very hard to make a secure peace . your caution in this is of the last importance to you . and that you may the better succeed in it , carry a strict eye upon the impertinence of your servants ; take heed that their ill-humour may not engage you to take exceptions , or their too much assuming in small matters , raise consequences which may bring you under great disadvantage . remember that in the case of a royal bride , those about her are generally so far suspected to bring in a foreign interest , that in most countries they are insensibly reduced to a very small number , and those of so low a figure , that it doth not admit the being jealous of them . in little and in the proportion , this may be the case of every new married woman , and therefore it may be more adviseable for you , to gain the servants you find in a family than to tie your self too fast to those you carry into it . you are not to overlook these small reflections , because they may appear low and inconsiderable ; for it may be said , that as the greatest streams are made up of the small drops at the head of the springs from whence they are derived , so the greater circumstances of your life , will be in some degree directed by these seeming trifles , which having the advantage of being the first acts of it , have a greater effect than singly in their own nature they could pretend to . i will conclude this article with my advice , that you would , as much as nature will give you leave , endeavour to forget the great indulgence you have found at home . after such a gentle discipline as you have been under , every thing you dislike will seem the harsher to you . the tenderness we have had for you , my dear , is of another nature , peculiar to kind parents , and differing from that which you will meet with first in any family into which you shall be transplanted ; and yet they may be very kind too , and afford no justifiable reason to you to complain . you must not be frighted with the first appearances of a differing scene ; for when you are used to it , you may like the house you go to , better than that you left ; and your husband's kindness will have so much advantage of ours , that we shall yield up all competition , and as well as we love you , be very well contented to surrender to such a rival . hovse , family , and children . you must lay before you , my dear , there are degrees of care to recommend your self to the world in the several parts of your life . in many things , though the doing them well may raise your credit and esteem , yet the omission of them would draw no immediate reproach upon you : in others , where your duty is more particularly applyed , the neglect of them is amongst those faults which are not forgiven , and will bring you under a censure , which will be much a heavier thing than the trouble you would avoid . of this kind is the government of your house , family , and children , which since it is the province allotted to your sex , and that the discharging it well , will for that reason be expected from you , if you either desert it out of laziness , or manage it ill for want of skill , instead of a help you will be an incumbrance to the family where you are placed . i must tell you , that no respect is lasting , but that which is produced by our being in some degree useful to those that pay it . where that faileth , the homage and the reverence go along with it , and fly to others where something may be expected in exchange for them . and upon this principle the respects even of the children and the servants will not stay with one that doth not think them worth their care , and the old house-keeper shall make a better figure in the family , than the lady with all her fine cloaths , if she wilfully relinquishes her title to the government . therefore , take heed of carrying your good breeding to such a height , as to be good for nothing , and to be proud of it . some think it hath a great air to be above troubling their thoughts with such ordinary things as their house and family ; others dare not admit cares for fear they should hasten wrinkles ? mistaken pride maketh some think they must keep themselves up , and not descend to these duties , which do not seem enough refined for great ladies to be imploy'd in ; forgetting all this while , that it is more than the greatest princes can do , at once to preserve respect , and to neglect their business . no age ever erected altars to insignificant gods ; they had all some quality applied to them to draw worship from mankind ; this maketh it the more unreasonable for a lady to expect to be consider'd , and at the same time resolve not to deserve it . good looks alone will not do ; they are not such a lasting tenure , as to be relied upon ; and if they should stay longer than they usually do , it will by no means be safe to depend upon them : for when time hath abated the violence of the first liking , and that the napp is a little worn off , though still a good degree of kindness may remain , men recover their sight which before might be dazell'd , and allow themselves to object as well as to admire . in such a case , when a husband seeth an empty airy thing sail up and down the house to no kind of purpose , and look as if she came thither only to make a visit . when he findeth that after her emptiness hath been extreme busie about some very senseless thing , she eats her breakfast half an hour before dinner , to be at greater liberty to afflict the company with her discourse ; then calleth for her coach , that she may trouble her acquaintance , who are already cloy'd with her : and having some proper dialogues ready to display her foolish eloquence at the top of the stairs , she setteth out like a ship out of the harbour , laden with trifles and cometh back with them : at her return she repeateth to her faithful waiting-woman , the triumphs of that day's impertinence ; then wrap'd up in flattery and clean linen , goeth to bed so satisfied , that it throweth her into pleasant dreams of her own felicity . such a one is seldom serious but with her taylor ; her children and family may now and then have a random thought , but she never taketh aim but at something very impertinent . i say , when a husband , whose province is without doors , and to whom the oeconomy of the house would be in some degree indecent , findeth no order nor quiet in his family , meeteth with complaints of all kinds-springing from this root ; the mistaken lady , who thinketh to make amends for all this , by having a well-chosen petty coat , will at last be convinced of her error , and with grief be forced to undergo the penalties that belong to those who are willfully insignificant . when this scurvy hour cometh upon her , she first groweth angry ; then when the time of it is past , would perhaps grow wiser , not remembring that we can no more have wisdom than grace , whenever we think fit to call for it . there are times and periods fix'd for both ; and when they are too long neglected , the punishment is , that they are irrecoverable , and nothing remaineth but an useless grief for the folly of having thrown them out of our power . you are to think what a mean figure a woman maketh , when she is so degraded by her own fault ; whereas there is nothing in those duties which are expected from you , that can be a lessening to you except your want of conduct makes it so . you may love your children without living in the nursery , and you may have a competent and discreet care of them , without letting it break out upon the company , or exposing your self by turning your discourse that way , which is a kind of laying children to the parish , and it can hardly be done any where , that those who hear it will be so forgiving , as not to think they are overcharged with them . a woman's tenderness to her children is one of the least deceitful evidences of the vertue ; but yet the way of expressing it , must be subject to the rules of good breeding : and though a woman of quality ought not to be less kind to them , than mothers of the meanest rank are to theirs , yet she may distinguish her self in the manner , and avoid the course methods , which in women of a lower size might be more excusable . you must begin early to make them love you , that they may obey you . this mixture is no where more necessary than in children and i must tell you , that you are not to expect returns of kindness from yours , if ever you have any , without grains of allowance ; and yet it is not so much a defect in their good nature , as a shortness of thought in them . their first insufficiency maketh them lean so entirely upon their parents for what is necessary , that the habit of it maketh them continue the same expectations for what is unreasonable ; and as often as they are denied , so often they think they are injured : and whilst their desires are strong , and their reasons yet in the cradle , their anger looketh no farther than the thing they long for and cannot have ; and to be displeased for their own good , is a maxim they are very slow to understand : so that you may conclude , the first thoughts of your children will have no small mixture of mutiny ; which being so natural , you must not be angry , except you would increase it . you must deny them as feldom as you can , and when there is no avoiding it , you must do it gently ; you must flatter away their ill humour , and take the next opportunity of pleasing them in some other thing , before they either ask or look for it : this will strengthen your authority , by making it soft to them ; and confirm their obedience , by making it their interest you are to have as strict a guard upon your self amongst your children , as if you were amongst your enemies . they are apt to make wrong inferences , to take encouragement from half words , and misapply what you may say or do , so as either to lessen their duty , or to extend their liberty farther than is convenient . let them be more in awe of your kindness than of your power . and above all , take heed of supporting a favourite child in its impertinence , which will give right to the rest of claiming the same privilege . if you have a divided number , leave the boys to the father 's more peculiar care , that you may with the greater justice pretend to a more immediate jurisdiction over those of your own sex. you are to live so with them , that they may never chuse to avoid you , except when they have offended ; and then let them tremble , that they may distinguish : but their penance must not continue so long as to grow too sowre upon their stomachs , that it may not harden in stead of correcting them : the kind and severe part must have their several turns seasonably applied ; but your indulgence is to have the broader mixture , that love , rather than fear , may be the root of their obedience . your servants are in the next place to be considered ; and you must remember not to fall into the mistake of thinking , that because they receive wages , and are so much inferiour to you , therefore they are below your care to know how to manage them . it would be as good reason for a master workman to despise the wheels of his engines , because they are made of wood. these are the wheels of your family ; and let your directions be never so faultless , yet if these engines stop or move wrong , the whole order of your house is either at a stand , or discomposed . besides , the inequality which is between you , must not make you forget , that nature maketh no such distinction , but that servants may be looked upon as humble friends , and that returns of kindness and good vsage are as much due to such of them as deserve it , as their service is due to us when we require it . a foolish haughtiness in the style of speaking , or in the manner of commanding them , is in it self very undecent ; besides that it begetteth an aversion in them , of which the least ill effect to be expected , is , that they will be slow and careless in all that is injoyned them : and you will find it true by your experience , that you will be so much the more obeyed as you are less imperious . be not too hasty in giving your orders , nor too angry when they are not altogether observed ; much less are you to be loud , and too much disturbed : an evenness in distinguishing when they do well or ill , is that which will make your family move by a rule , and without noise , and will the better set out your skill in conducting it with ease and silence , that it may be like a well disciplin'd army ; which knoweth how to anticipate the orders that are fit to be given them . you are never to neglect the duty of the present hour , to do another thing , which though it may be better in it self , is not to be unseasonably preferred . allot well chosen hours for the inspection of your family , which may be so distinguished from the rest of your time , that the necessary cares may come in their proper place , without any influence upon your good humour , or interruption to other things . by these methods you will put your self in possession of being valued by your servants , and then their obedience will naturally follow . i must not forget one of the greatest articles belonging to a family , which is the expence . it must not be such , as by failing either in the time or measure of it , may rather draw censure than gain applause . if it was well examined , there is more money given to be laughed at , than for any one thing in the world , though the purchasers do not think so . a well-stated rule is like the line , when that is once pass'd we are under another pole ; so the first straying from a rule , is a step towards making that which was before a vertue , to change its nature , and to grow either into a vice , or at least an impernence . the art of laying out money wisely , is not attained to without a great deal of thought ; and it is yet more difficult in the case of a wife , who is accountable to her husband for her mistakes in it . it is not only his money , his credit too is at stake , if what lyeth under the wife's care is managed , either with undecent thrift , or too loose profusion . you are therefore to keep the mean between these two extremes , and it being hardly possible to hold the balance exactly even , let it rather incline towards the liberal side as more suitable to your quality , and less subject to reproach . of the two a little money mispent is sooner recovered , than the credit which is lost by having it unhandsomely saved ; and a wise husband will less forgive a shameful piece of parcimony , than a little extravagance , if it be not too often repeated . his mind in this must be your chief direction ; and his temper , when once known , will in great measure justifie your part in the management , if he is pleased with it . in your clothes avoid too much gaudy ; do not value your self upon an imbroidered gown ; and remember , that a reasonable word , or an obliging look , will gain you more respect ; than all your fine trappings . this is not said to restrain you from a decent compliance with the world , provided you take the wiser , and not the foolisher part of your sex for your pattern . some distinctions are to be allowed , whilst they are well suited to your quality and fortune , and in the distribution of the expence , it seemeth to me that a full attendance , and well chosen ornaments for your house , will make you a better figure , than too much glittering in what you wear , which may with more ease be imitated by those that are below you . yet this must not tempt you to starve every thing but your own appartment ; or in order to more abundance there , give just cause to the least servant you have , to complain of the want of what is necessary . above all , fix it in your thoughts , as an unchangeable maxim , that nothing is truly fine but what is fit , and that just so much as is proper for your circumstances of their several kinds , is much finer than all you can add to it . when you once break through these bounds , you launch into a wide sea of extravagance . every thing will become necessary , because you have a mind to it ; and you have a mind to it , not because it is fit for you , but because some body else hath it . this lady's logick setteth reason upon its head , by carrying the rule from things to persons , and appealing from what is right to every fool that is in the wrong . the word necessary is miserably applyed , it disordereth families , and overturneth governments by being so abused . remember that children and fools want every thing because they want wit to distinguish : and therefore there is no stronger evidence of a crazy vnderstanding , than the making too large a catalogue of things necessary , when in truth there are so very few things that have a right to be placed in it . try every thing first in your judgment , before you allow it a place in your desire ; else your husband may think it as necessary for him to deny , as it is for you to have whatever is unreasonable ; and if you shall too often give him that advantage , the habit of refusing may perhaps reach to things that are not unfit for you . there are unthinking ladies , who do not enough consider , how little their own figure agreeth with the fine things they are so proud of . others when they have them will hardly allow them to be visible ; they cannot be seen without light , and that is many times so sawcy and so prying , that like a too forward gallant it is to be forbid the chamber . some , when you are ushered into their dark ruelle , it is with such solemnity , that a man would swear there was something in it , till the vnskilful lady breaketh silence , and beginneth a chat , which discovereth it is a puppet-play with magnificent scenes . many esteem things rather as they are hard to be gotten , than that they are worth getting : this looketh as if they had an interest to pursue that maxim , because a great part of their own value dependeth upon it . truth in these cases would be often unmannerly , and might derogate from the prerogative , great ladies would assume to themselves , of being distinct creatures from those of their sex , which are inferiour , and of less difficult access . in other things too , your condition must give the rule to you , and therefore it is not a wife's part to aim at more than a bounded liberality ; the farther extent of that quality ( otherwise to be commended ) belongeth to the husband , who hath better means for it . generosity wrong placed becometh a vice. it is no more a vertue when it groweth into an inconvenience , vertues must be inlarged or restrained according to differing circumstances . a princely mind will undo a private family : therefore things must be suited , or else they will not deserve to be commended , let them in themselves be never so valuable : and the expectations of the world are best answered when we acquit our selves in that manner which seemeth to be prescribed to our several conditions , without usurping upon those duties , which do not so particularly belong to us . i will close the consideration of this article of expence , with this short word . do not fetter your self with such a restraint in it as may make you remarkable ; but remember that vertue is the greatest ornament , and good sence the best equipage . behaviovr and conversation . it is time now to lead you out of your house into the world. a dangerous step ; where your vertue alone will not secure you except it is attended with a great deal of prudence . you must have both for your guard , and not stir without them . the enemy is abroad , and you are sure to be taken , if you are found stragling . your behaviour is therefore to incline strongly towards the reserved part ; your character is to be immoveably fixed upon that bottom , not excluding a mixture of greater freedom , as far as it may be innocent and well-timed . the extravagancies of the age have made caution more necessary ; and by the same reason that the too great licence of ill men hath by consequence in many things restrained the lawful liberty of those who did not abuse it , the unjustifiable freedoms of some of your sex have involved the rest in the penalty of being reduced . and though this cannot so alter the nature of things , as to make that criminal , which in it self is indifferent ; yet if it maketh it dangerous , that alone is sufficient to justifie the restraint . a close behaviour is t●●●●ttest to receive vertue for its constant guest , because there , and there only , it can be secure . proper reserves are the out-works , and must never be deserted by those who intend to keep the place ; they keep off the possibilities not only of being taken , but of being attempted ; and if a woman seeth danger tho at never so remote a distance , she is for that time to shorten her line of liberty . she who will allow her self to go to the utmost extent of every thing that is lawful , is so very near going farther , that those who lie at watch , will begin to count upon her . mankind , from the double temptation of vanity and desire , is apt to turn every thing a woman doth to the hopesul side ; and there are sew who dare make an impudent application , till they discern something which they are willing to take for an encouragement . it is safer therefore to prevent such forwardness , than to go about to cure it . it gathereth strength by the first allowances , and claimeth a right from having been at any time suffered with impunity . therefore nothing is with more care to be avoided , than such a kind of civility as may be mistaken for invitation ; and it will not be enough for you to keep your self free from any criminal engagements ; for if you do that which either raiseth hopes or createth discourse , there is a spot thrown upon your good name ; and those kind of stains are the harder to be taken out , being dropped upon you by the man's vanity , as well as by the woman's malice . most men are in one sence platonick lovers , though they are not willing to own that character . they are so far philosophers , as to allow , that the greatest part of pleasure lieth in the mind ; and in pursuance of that maxim , there are few who do not place the felicity more in the opinion of the world , of their being prosperous lovers , than in the blessing it self , how much soever they appear to value it . this being so , you must be very cautious not to gratifie these cameleons at the price of bringing a cloud upon your reputation , which may be deeply wounded , tho your conscience is unconcerned . your own sex too will not fail to help the least appearance that giveth a handle to be ill-turned . the best of them will not be displeased to improve their own value , by laying others under a disadvantage , when there is a fair occasion given for it . it distinguisheth them still the more : their own credit is more exalted , and , like a picture set off with shades , shineth more when a lady , either less innocent , or less discreet is set near , to make them appear so much the brighter . if these lend their breath to blast such as are so unwary as to give them this advantage , you may be sure there will be a stronger gale from those , who , besides malice or emulation , have an interest too , to strike hard upon a vertuous woman . it seemeth to them , that their load of infamy is lessened , by throwing part of it upon others : so that they will not only improve when it lieth in their way , but take pains to find out the least mistake an innocent woman committeth , in revenge of the injury she doth in leading a life which is a reproach to them . with these you must be extreme wary , and neither provoke them to be angry , nor invite them to be intimate . to the men you are to have a behaviour which may secure you , without offending them . no ill-bred affected shyness , nor a roughness , unsuitable to your sex , and unnecessary to your vertue ; but a way of living that may prevent all course railleries or unmannerly freedoms ; looks that forbid without rudeness , and oblige without invitation , or leaving room for the sawcy inferences men's vanity suggesteth to them upon the least encouragements . this is so very nice , that it must engage you to have a perpetual watch upon your eyes , and to remember , that one careless glance giveth more advantage than a hundred words not enough considered ; the language of the eyes being very much the most significant , and the most observed . your civility , which is always to be preserved , must not be carried to a compliance , which may betray you into irrecoverable mistakes . this french ambiguous word complaisance hath led your sex into more blame , than all other things put together . it carrieth them by degrees into a certain thing called a good kind of woman , an easie idle creature , that doth neither good nor ill but by chance , hath no choice , but leaveth that to the company she keepeth . time , which by degrees addeth to the signification of words , hath made her , according to the modern stile , little better than one who thinketh it a rudeness to deny when civilly required , either her service in person , or her friendly assistance , to those who would have a meeting , or want a confident . she is a certain thing always at hand , an easie companion , who hath ever great compassion for distressed lovers : she censureth nothing but rigor , and is never without a plaister for a wounded reputation , in which chiefly lieth her skill in chirurgery ; she seldom hath the propriety of any particular gallant , but liveth upon brokage , and waiteth for the scraps her friends are content to leave her . there is another character not quite so criminal , yet not less ridiculous ; which is that of a good-humour'd woman , one who thinketh she must always be in a laugh , or a broad smile , because good-humour is an obliging quality ; thinketh it less ill manners to talk impertinently , than to be silent in company . when such a prating engine rideth admiral , and carrieth the lantern , in a circle of fools , a cheerful coxcomb coming in for a recruit , the chattering of monkeys is a better noise than such a concert of senceless merriment . if she is applauded in it , she is so encouraged , that , like a ballad singer , who if commended , breaketh his lungs , she letteth her self loose , and overfloweth upon the company . she conceiveth that mirth is to have no intermission , and therefore she will carry it about with her , though it be to a funeral ; and if a man should put a familiar question , she doth not know very well how to be angry , for then she would be no more that pretty thing called a good humour'd woman . this necessity of appearing at all times to be so infinitely pleased is a grievous mistake ; since in a handsom woman that invitation is unnecessary ; and in one who is not so , ridiculous . it is not intended by this , that you should forswear laughing ; but remember , that fools being always painted in that posture , it may fright those who are wise from doing it too frequently , and going too near a copy which is so little inviting , and much more from doing it loud , which is an unnatural sound and looketh so much like another sex , that few things are more offensive . that boisterous kind of jollity is as contrary to wit and good manners , as it is to modesty and vertue . besides , it is a course kind of quality , that throweth a woman into a lower form , and degradeth her from the rank of those who are more refined . some ladies speak loud and make a noise to be the more minded , which looketh as if they beat their drums for volunteers , and if by misfortune none come in to them , they may , not without reason , be a good deal out of countenance . there is one shing , yet more to be avoided , which is the example of those who intend nothing farther than the vanity of conquest , and think themselves secure of not having their honour tainted by it . some are apt to believe their vertue is too obscure , and not enough known , except it is exposed to a broader light , and set out to its best advantage , by some publick trials . these are dangerous experiments , and generally fail , being built upon so weak a foundation , as that of a too great confidence in our selves . it is as safe to play with fire , as to dally with gallantry . love is a passion that hath friends in the garrison , and for that reason must by a woman be kept at such a distance , that she may not be within the danger of doing the most usual thing in the world , which is conspiring against her self : else the humble gallant , who is only admitted as a trophy , very often becometh the conquerour ; he putteth on the style of victory , and from an admirer groweth into a master , for so he may be called from the moment he is in possession . the first resolutions of stopping at good opinion and esteem , grow weaker by degrees against the charms of courtship skilfully applied . a lady is apt to think a man speaketh so much reason whilst he is commending her , that she hath much ado to believe him in the wrong when he is making love to her : and when besides the natural inducements your sex hath to be merciful , she is bribed by well chosen flattery , the poor creature is in danger of being caught like a bird listening to the whistle of one that hath a snare for it . conquest is so tempting a thing , that it often maketh women mistake men's submissions ; which with all their fair appearance , have generally less respect than art in them . you are to remember , that men who say extreme fine things , many times say them most for their own sakes ; and that the vain gallant is often as well pleased with his own compliments , as he could be with the kindest answer . where there is not that ostentation you are to suspect there is design . and as strong perfumes are seldom used but where they are necessary to smother an unwelcome scent ; so excessive good words leave room to believe they are strewed to cover something , which is to gain admittance under a disguise . you must therefore be upon your guard , and consider , that of the two , respect is more dangerous than anger . it puts even the best understandings out of their place for the time , till their second thoughts restore them ; it stealeth upon us insensibly , throweth down our defences , and maketh it too late to resist , after we have given it that advantage . whereas railing goeth away in sound ; it hath so much noise in it , that by giving warning it bespeaketh caution . respect is a slow and a sure poison , and like poison swelleth us within our selves . where it prevaileth too much , it groweth to be a kind of apoplexie in the mind , turneth it quite round , and after it hath once seized the understanding , becometh mortal to it . for these reasons , the safest way is to treat it like a sly enemy , and to be perpetually upon the watch against it . i will add one advice to conclude this head , which is that you will let every seven years make some alteration in you towards the graver side , and not be like the girls of fifty , who resolve to be always young , whatever time with his iron teeth hath determined to the contrary . unnatural things carry a deformity in them never to be disguised ; the liveliness of youth in a riper age , looketh like a new patch upon an old gown ; so that a gay matron , a cheerful old fool may be reasonably put into the list of the tamer kind of monsters . there is a certain creature call'd a grave hobby-horse , a kind of a she numps , that pretendeth to be pulled to a play , and must needs go to bartholomew fair , to look after the young folks , whom she only seemeth to make her care , in reality she taketh them for her excuse . such an old butterfly is of all creatures , the most ridiculous , and the soonest found out . it is good to be early in your caution , to avoid any thing that cometh within distance of such despicable patterns , and not like some ladies , who defer their conversion , till they have been so long in possession of being laughed at , that the world doth not know how to change their style , even when they are reclaimed from that which gave the first occasion for it . the advantages of being reserved are too many to be set down , i will only say , that it is a guard to a good woman , and a disguise to an ill one . it is of so much use to both , that those ought to use it as an artifice , who refuse to practise it as a vertue . friendships . i must in a particular manner recommend to you a strict care in the choice of your friendships . perhaps the best are not without their objections , but however , be sure that yours may not stray from the rules which the wiser part of the world hath set to them . the leagues offensive and defensive , seldom hold in politicks , and much less in friendships . the violent intimacies , when once broken , of which they scarce ever fail , make such a noise ; the bag of secrets untied , they fly about like birds let loose from a cage , and become the entertainment of the town . besides , these great dearnesses by degrees grow injurious to the rest of your acquaintance , and throw them off from you . there is such an offensive distinction when the dear friend cometh into the room , that it is flinging stones at the company , who are not apt to forgive it . do not lay out your friendship too lavishly at first , since it will , like other things , be so much the sooner spent ; neither let it be of too sudden a growth ; for as the plants which shoot up too fast are not of that continuance , as those which take more time for it ; so too swift a progress in pouring out your kindness , is a certain sign that by the course of nature it will not be long-lived . you will be responsible to the world , if you pitch upon such friends as at the time are under the weight of any criminal objection . in that case you will bring your self under the disadvantages of their character , and must bear your part of it . chusing implieth approving ; and if you fix upon a lady for your friend against whom the world shall have given judgment , 't is not so well natur'd as to believe you are altogether averse to her way of living , since it doth not discourage you from admitting her into your kindness . and resemblance of inclinations being thought none of the least inducements to friendship , you will be looked upon at least as a well-wisher if not a partner with her in her faults . if you can forgive them in another , it may be presumed you will not be less gentle to your self ; and therefore you must not take it ill , if you are reckoned a croupiere , and condemned to pay an equal share with such a friend of the reputation she hath lost . if it happeneth that your friend should fall from the state of innocence after your kindness was engaged to her , you may be slow in your belief in the beginning of the discovery : but as soon as you are convinced by a rational evidence , you must , without breaking too roughly , make a far and a quick retreat from such a mistaken acquaintance : else by moving too slowly from one that is so tainted , the contagion may reach you so far as to give you part of the scandal , though not of the guilt . this matter is so nice , that as you must not be too hasty to joyn in the censure upon your friend when she is accused , so you are not on the other side to defend her with too much warmth ; for if she should happen to deserve the report of common fame , besides the vexation that belongeth to such a mistake , you will draw an ill appearance upon your self , and it will be thought you pleaded for her not without some consideration of your self . the anger which must be put on to vindicate the reputation of an injured friend , may incline the company to suspect you would not be so zealous , if there was not a possibility that the case might be your own . for this reason you are not to carry your dearness so far , as absolutely to lose your sight where your friend is concerned . because malice is too quick sighted , it doth not follow , that friendship must be blind : there is to be a mean between these two extremes , else your excess of good nature may betray you into a very ridiculous figure , and by degrees who may be preferr'd to such offices as you will not be proud of . your ignorance may lessen the guilt , but will improve the jest upon you , who shall be kindly sollicitous to procure a meeting , and innocently contribute to the ills you would avoid : whilest the contriving lovers , when they are alone , shall make you the subject of their mirth , and perhaps ( with respect to the goddess of love be it spoken ) it is not the worst part of their entertainment , at least it is the most lasting , to laugh at the believing friend , who was so easily deluded . let the good sence of your friends be a chief ingredient in your choice of them ; else ret your reputation be never so clear , it may be clouded by their impertinence . it is like our houses being in the power of a drunken or a careless neighbour ; only so much worse , as that there will be no insurance here to make you amends , as there is in the case of fire . to conclude this paragraph ; if formality is to be allowed in any instance , it is to be put on to resist the invasion of such forward women as shall press themselves into your friendship , where if admitted , they will either be a snare or an incumbrance . censvre . i will come next to the consideration , how you are to manage your censure ; in which both care and skill will be a good deal required . to distinguish is not only natural but necessary ; and the effect of it is , that we cannot avoid giving judgment in our minds , either to absolve or to condemn as the case requireth . the difficult is , to know when and where it is fit to proclaim the sentence . an aversion to what is criminal , a contempt of what is ridiculous , are the inseparable companions of understanding and vertue ; but the letting them go farther than our own thoughts , hath so much danger in it , that though it is neither possible nor fit to suppress them intirely , yet it is necessary they should be kept under very great restraints . an unlimited liberty of this kind is little less than sending a herald and proclaiming war to the world , which is an angry beast when so provoked . the contest will be unequal , though you are never so much in the right ; and if you begin against such an adversary , it will tear you in pieces , with this justification , that it is done in its own defence . you must therefore take heed of laughing , except in company that is very sure . it is throwing snow-balls against bullets ; and it is the disadvantage of a woman , that the malice of the world will help the brutality of those who will throw a slovenly vntruth upon her . you are for this reason to suppress your impatience for fools ; who besides that they are too strong a party to be unnecessarily provoked , are of all others , the most dangerous in this case . a blockhead in his rage will return a dull jest that will lie heavy , though there is not a grain of wit in it . others will do it with more art , and you must not think your self secure because your reputation may perhaps be out of the reach of ill will ; for if it findeth that part guarded , it will seek one which is more exposed . it flieth , like a corrupt humour in the body , to the weakest part. if you have a tender side , the world will be sure to find it , and to put the worst colour upon all you say or do , give an aggravation to every thing that may lessen you , and a spiteful turn to every thing that might recommend you . anger laieth open those defects which friendship would not see , and civility might be willing to forget . malice needeth no such invitation to encourage it , neither are any pains more superfluous than those we take to be ill spoken of . if envy , which never dyeth , and seldom sleepeth , is content sometimes to be in a slumber , it is very unskilful to make a noise to awake it . besides , your wit will be misapplied if it is wholly directed to discern the faults of others , when it is so necessary to be often used to mend and prevent your own . the sending our thoughts too much abroad , hath the same effect , as when a family never stayeth at home ; neglect and disorder naturally followeth ; as it must do within our selves , if we do not frequently turn our eyes inwards , to see what is amiss with us , where it is a , sign we have an unwelcome prospect , when we do not care to look upon it , but rather seek our consolations in the faults of those we converse with . avoid being the first in fixing a hard censure , let it be confirmed by the general voice , before you give into it ; neither are you then to give sentence like a magistrate , or as if you had a special authority to bestow a good or ill name at your discretion . do not dwell too long upon a weak side , touch and go away ; take pleasure to stay longer where you can commend , like bees that fix only upon those herbs out of which they may extract the juice of which their honey is composed . a vertue stuck with bristles is too rough for this age ; it must be adorned with some flowers , or else it will be unwillingly entertained ; so that even where it may be fit to strike , do it like a lady , gently ; and assure your self , that where you care to do it , you will wound others more , and hurt your self less , by soft strokes , than by being harsh or violent . the triumph of wit is to make your good nature subdue your censure ; to be quick in seeing faults , and slow in exposing them . you are to consider , that the invisible thing called a good name , is made up of the breath of numbers that speak well of you ; so that if by a disobliing word you silence the meanest , the gale will be less strong which is to bear up your esteem . and though nothing is so vain as the eager pursuit of empty applause , yet to be well thought of , and to be kindly used by the world , is like a glory about a womans head ; 't is a perfume she carrieth about with her , and leaveth where-ever she goeth ; 't is a charm against ill-will . malice may empty her quiver , but cannot wound ; the dirt will not stick , the jests will not take ; without the consent of the world a scandal doth not go deep ; it is only a slight stroak upon the injured party and returneth with the greater force upon those that gave it . vanity and affectation . i must with more than ordinary earnestness give you caution against vanity , it being the fault to which your sex seemeth to be the most inclined ; and since affectation for the most part attendeth it , i do not know how to divide them . i will not call them twins , because more properly vanity is the mother , and affectation is the darling daughter ; vanity is the sin , and affectation is the punishment ; the first may be called the root of self-love , the other the fruit. vanity is never at its full growth till it spreadeth into affectation , and then it is compleat . not to dwell any longer upon the definition of them , i will pass to the means and motives to avoid them . in order to it , you are to consider , that the world challengeth the right of distributing esteem and applause ; so that where any assume by their single authority to be their own carvers , it groweth angry , and never faileth to seek revenge . and if we may measure a fault by the greatness of the penalty , there are few of a higher size than vanity , as there is scarce a punishment which can be heavier than that of being laughed at . vanity maketh a woman tainted with it , so top full of her self , that she spilleth it upon the company . and because her own thoughts are intirely imployed in self-contemplation ; she endeavoureth , by a cruel mistake , to confine her acquaintance to the same narrow circle of that which only concerneth her ladiship , forgetting that she is not of half that importance to the world , that she is to her self , so mistaken she is in her value , by being her own appraiser . she will fetch such a compass in discourse to bring in her beloved self , and rather than fail , her fine petty-coat , that there can hardly be a better scene than such a tryal of ridiculous ingenuity . it is a pleasure to see her angle for commendations , and rise so dissatisfied with the ill-bread company , if they will not bite . to observe her throwing her eyes about to fetch in prisoners , and go about cruizing like a privateer , and so out of countenance , if she return without booty , is no ill piece of comedy . she is so eager to draw respect , that she always misseth it , yet thinketh it so much her due , that when she faileth she groweth waspish , not considering , that it is impossible to commit a rape upon the will ; that it must be fairly gained , and will not be taken by storm ; and that in this case , the tax ever riseth highest by a benevolence . if the world instead of admiring her imaginary excellencies , taketh the liberty to laugh at them , she appealeth from it to her self , for whom she giveth sentence , and proclaimeth it in all companies . on the other side , if incouraged by a civil word , she is so obliging , that she will give thanks for being laughed at in good language . she taketh a compliment for a demonstration , and setteth it up as an evidence , even against her looking-glass . but the good lady being all this while in a most profound ignorance of her self , forgetteth that men would not let her talk upon them , and throw so many senseless words at their head , if they did not intend to put her person to fine and ransom , for her impertinence . good words of any other lady , are so many stones thrown at her , she can by no means bear them , they make her so uneasie , that she cannot keep her seat , but up she riseth and goeth home half burst with anger and strait-lacing . if by great chance she saith any thing that hath sence in it , she expecteth such an excessive rate of commendations , that to her thinking the company ever riseth in her debt . she looketh upon rules as things made for the common people , and not for persons of her rank ; and this opinion sometimes tempteth her to extend her prerogative to the dispencing with the commandments . if by great fortune she happeneth , in spite of her vanity , to be honest , she is so troublesome with it , that as far as in her lieth , she maketh a scurvy thing of it . her bragging of her vertue , looketh as if it cost her so much pains to get the better of her self , that the inferences are very ridiculous . her good humour is generally applied to the laughing at good sense . it would do one good to see how heartily she despiseth any thing that is fit for her to do . the greatest part of her fancy is laid out in chusing her gown , as her discretion is chiefly imploy'd in not paying for it . she is faithful to the fashion , to which not only her opinion , but her senses are wholly resigned : so obsequious she is to it , that she would be ready to be reconciled even to vertue with all its faults ; if she had her dancing master's word that it was practsi'd at court. to a woman so compos'd , when affectation cometh in to improve her character , it is then raised to the highest perfection . she first setteth up for a fine thing , and for that reason will distinguish her self , right or wrong , in every thing she doth . she would have it thought that she is made of so much the finer clay , and so much more sifted than ordinary , that she hath no common earth about her . to this end she must neither move nor speak like other women , because it would be vulgar ; and therefore must have a language of her own , since ordinary english is too course for her . the looking-glass in the morning dictateth to her all the motions of the day , which by how much the more studied , are so much the more mistaken . she cometh into a room as if her limbs were set on with ill made screws , which maketh the company fear the pretty thing should leave some of its artificial person upon the floor . she doth not like her self as god almighty made her , but will have some of her own workmanship ; which is so far from making her a better thing than a woman , that it turneth her into a worse creature than a monkey . she falleth out with nature , against which she maketh war without admitting a truce , those moments excepted in which her gallant may reconcile her to it . when she hath a mind to be soft and languishing , there is somthing so unnatural in that affected easiness , that her frowns could not be by many degrees so forbidden . when she would appear unreasonably humble , one may see she is so excessively proud , that there is no enduring it . there is such an impertinent smile , such a satisfied simper , when she faintly disowneth some fulsom commendation a man hapneth to bestow upon her against his conscience , that her thanks for it are more visible under such a thin disguise , than they could be if she should print them . if a handsomer woman taketh any liberty of dressing out of the ordinary rules the mistaken lady followeth , without distinguishing the unequal pattern , and maketh her self uglier by an example misplaced ; either forgetting the privilege of good looks in another , or presuming , without sufficient reason upon her own . her discourse is a senseless chime of empty words , a heap of compliments so equally applied to differing persons , that they are neither valu'd nor believ'd . her eyes keep pace with her tongue , and are therefore always in motion . one may discern that they generally incline to the compassionate side , and that , notwithstanding her pretence to vertue , she is gentle to distressed lovers , and ladies that are merciful . she will repeat the tender part of a play so feelingly , that the company may guess , without injustice , she was not altogether a disinteressed spectator . she thinketh that paint and sin are concealed by railing at them . upon the latter she is less hard . and being divided between the two opposite prides of her beauty and her vertue , she is often tempted to give broad hints that some body is dying for her ; and of the two she is less unwilling to let the world think she may be sometimes profan'd , than that she is never worshipped . very great beauty may perhaps so dazle for a time , that men may not so clearly see the deformity of these affectations ; but when the brightness goeth off , and that the lover's eyes are by that means set at liberty , to see things as they are , he will naturally return to his senses and recover the mistake into which the lady 's good looks had at first engaged him . and being once undeceived , ceaseth to worship that as a goddess , which he seeth it only an artificial shrine moved by wheels and springs , to delude him . such women please only like the first opening of a scene , that hath nothing to recommend it but the being new . they may be compared to flies , that have pretty shining wings for two or three hot months , but the first cold weather maketh an end of them ; so the latter season of these fluttering creatures is dismal : from their nearest friends they receive a very faint respect ; from the rest of the world , the utmost degree of contempt . let this picture supply the place of any other rules which might be given to prevent your resemblance to it , the deformity of it , well considered , is instruction enough ; from the same reason , that the sight of a drunkard is a better sermon against that vice , than the best that wasever preach'd upon that subject . pride . after having said this against vanity , i do not intend to apply the same censure to pride , well placed , and rightly defined . it is an ambiguous word ; one kind of it is as much a vertue , as the other is a vice : but we are naturally so apt to chuse the worst , that it is become dangerous to commend the best side of it . a woman is not to be proud of her fine gown ; nor when she hath less wit than her neighbours , to comfort her self that she hath more lace . some ladies put so much weight upon ornaments , that if one could see into their hearts , it would be found , that even the thought of death is made less heavy to them by the contemplation of their being laid out in state , and honourably attended to the grave . one may come a good deal short of such an extream , and yet still be sufficiently impertinent , by setting a wrong value upon things , which ought to be used with more indifference . a lady must not appear sollicitous to ingross respect to her self , but be content with a reasonable distribution , and allow it to others , that she may have it returned to her . she is not to be troublesomly nice , nor distinguish her self by being too delicate , as if ordinary things were too course for her ; this is an unmannerly and an offensive pride , and where it is practised , deserveth to be mortified , of which it seldom faileth . she is not to lean too much upon her quality , much less to despise those who are below it . some make quality and idol , and then their reason must fall down and worship it . they would have the world think , that no amends can ever be made for the want of a great title , or an ancient coat of arms : they imagine , that with these advantages they stand upon the higher ground , which maketh them look down upon merit and vertue , as things inferiour to them . this mistake is not only senseless , but criminal too , in putting a greater price upon that which is a piece of good luck , than upon things which are valuable in themselves . laughing is not enough for such a folly ; it must be severely whipped , as it justly deserves . it will be confessed , there are frequent temptations given by pert vpstarts to be angry , and by that to have our judgments corrupted in these cases : but they are to be resisted ; and the utmost that is to be allowed , is , when those of a new edition will forget themselves , so as either to brag of their weak side , or to endeavour to hide their meanness by their insolence , to cure them by a little seasonable raillery , a little sharpness well placed , without dwelling too long upon it . these and many other kinds of pride are to be avoided . that which is to be recommended to you , is an emulation to raise your self to a character , by which you may be distinguished ; an eagerness for precedence in vertue , and all such other things as may gain you a greater share of the good opinion of the world. esteem to vertue is like a cherishing air to plants and flowers , which maketh them blow and prosper ; and for that reason it may be allowed to be in some degree the cause as well as the reward of it . that pride which leadeth to a good end , cannot be a vice , since it is the beginning of a vertue ; and to be pleased with just applause , is so far from a fault , that it would be an ill symptom in a woman , who should not place the greatest part of her satisfaction in it . humility is no doubt a great vertue ; but it ceaseth to be so , when it is afraid to scorn an ill thing . against vice and folly it is becoming your sex to be haughty ; but you must not carry the contempt of things to arrogance towards persons , and it must be done with fitting distinctions , else it may be inconvenient by being unseasonable . a pride that raiseth a little anger to be out-done in any thing that is good , will have so good an effect , that it is very hard to allow it to be a fault . it is no easie matte to carry even between these differing kinds so described ; but remember that it is safer for a woman to be thought too proud , than too familiar . diversions . the last thing i shall recommend to you , is a wise and a safe method of using diversions . to be too eager in the pursuit of pleasure whilst you are young , is dangerous ; to catch at it in riper years , is grasping a shadow ; it will not be held . besides that by being less natural it groweth to be indecent . diversions are the most properly applied , to ease and relieve those who are oppressed , by being too much imployed . those that are idle have no need of them , and yet they , above all others , give themselves up to them . to unbend our thoughts , when they are too much stretched by our cares , is not more natural than it is necessary , but to turn our whole life into a holy day , is not only ridiculous , but destroyeth pleasure instead of promoting it . the mind like the body is tired by being always in one posture , too serious breaketh , and too diverting looseneth it : it is variety that giveth the relish ; so that diversions too frequently repeated , grow first to be indifferent , and at last tedious . whilst they are well chosen and well timed , they are never to be blamed ; but when they are used to an excess , though very innocent at first , they often grow to be criminal , and never fail to be impertinent . some ladies are bespoken for merry meetings , as bessus was for duels . they are ingaged in a circle of idleness , where they turn round for the whole year , without the interruption of a serious hour , they know all the players names , and are intimately acquainted with all the booths in bartholomew-fair . no soldier is more obedient to the sound of his captain 's trumpet , than they are to that which summoneth them to a puppet-play or a monster . the spring that bringeth out flies , and fools , maketh them inhabitants in hide-park ; in the winter they are an incumbrance to the play house , and the balast of the drawing room . the streets all this while are so weary of these daily faces , that men's eyes are over laid with them . the sight is glutted with fine things , as the stomach with sweet ones ; and when a fair lady will give too much of her self to the world , she groweth luscious , and oppresseth instead of pleasing . these jolly ladies do so continually seek diversion , that in a little time they grow into a jest , yet are unwilling to remember , that if they were seldomer seen they would not be so often laughed at . besides they make themselves cheap , than which there cannot be an unkinder word bestowed upon your sex. to play sometimes , to entertain company , or to divert your self , is not to be disallowed , but to do it so often as to be called a gamester , is to be avoided , next to the things that are most criminal . it hath consequences of several kinds not to be endured ; it will ingage you into a habit of idleness and ill hours , draw you into ill mixed company , make you neglect your civilities abroad , and your business at home , and impose into your acquaintance such as will do you no credit . to deep play there will be yet greater objections . it will give occasion to the world to ask spiteful questions . how you dare venture to lose , and what means you have to pay such great summs ? if you pay exactly , it will be enquired from whence the money cometh ? if you owe , and especially to a man , you must be so very civil to him for his forbearance , that it layeth a ground of having it farther improved , if the gentleman is so disposed ; who will be thought no unfair creditor , if where the estate faileth he seizeth upon the person . besides if a lady could see her own face upon an ill game , at a deep stake , she would certainly forswear any thing that could put her looks under such a disadvantage . to dance sometimes will not be imputed to you as a fault ; but remember that the end of your learning it , was , that you might the better know how to move gracefully . it is only an advantage so far . when it goeth beyond it , one may call it excelling in a mistake , which is no very great commendation . it is better for a woman never to dance , because she hath no skill in it , than to do it too often , because she doth it well . the easiest as well as the safest method of doing it , is in private companies , amongst particular friends , and then carelesly , like a diversion , rather than with solemnity , as if it was a business , or had any thing in it to deserve a month's preparation by serious conference with a dancing-master . much more might be said to all these heads , and many more might be added to them . but i must restrain my thoughts , which are full of my dear child , and would overflow into a volume , which would not be fit for a new years-gift . i will conclude with my warmest wishes for all that is good to you . that you may live so as to be an ornament to your family , and a pattern to your sex. that you may be blessed with a husband that may value , and with children that may inherit your vertue ; that you may shine in the world by a true light , and silence envy by deserving to be esteemed ; that wit and vertue may both conspire to make you a great figure . when they are separated , the first is so empty , and the other so faint , that they scarce have right to be commended . may they therefore meet and never part ; let them be your guardian angels , and be sure never to stray out of the distance of their joint protection . may you so raise your character , that you may help to make the next age a better thing , and leave posterity in your debt for the advantage it shall receive by your example . let me conjure you , my dearest , to comply with this kind ambition of a father , whose thoughts are so ingaged in your behalf , that he reckoneth your happiness to be the greatest part of his own . finis .